#i was gonna skip the concept switch because i suck at it and i never come up with something good anshjshd but yeah here we are

[soft-pentagon]

Universe Revival!                    ↳ Week 2: Concept Switch → PTG x Fromis9′s “We go”

[honeytae]

You’re too persuasive for your own good.

hey bubs! this is just some shower smut with seokjin bc i’ve been dying to write this concept for a while and it’s just been a bit since i even wrote smut so..i hope you enjoy, my little thots :) tags: @ahgasearmyfan, @hoseokayy genre: smut

word count: 4.6k warnings: sex in a ~dangerous place~, unprotected sex (use a condom!), seokjin being a stubborn little shit

“No!”

You groaned as you watched the character on your phone screen go off the road, turning your device off with a frustrated sigh before slipping it into your pocket.

Seokjin had gotten you hooked on yet another stupid game, claiming you should get it because “it’s multiplayer, so we can play together.”

He had, of course, not shown your poor new beginner skills any mercy, thoroughly enjoying how frustrated you got when he leaned over to kiss your cheek, telling you “It’s okay, love. Not all of us have what it takes.”

Those words are precisely why you’d been spending all your free time playing, practicing in order to knock his confidence a bit.

It was also the reason you were at the boys shared apartment, wanting to show him your hopefully improved skills and shove it back in his face.

With a sigh, you knocked on the familiar door, craning your neck from side to side as you waited for one of the men to answer.

When the door finally peeled open, you were met with the surprised expression of Taehyung, eyes widened at your presence before a square mouthed smile took over his face instead, his pupils obscured by the push of his cheeks up to his eyes.

“Oh, hey!” He greeted, you smiling back at him as he pulled you into a brief hug, gesturing for you to come into the apartment as he stepped back to give you room to do so. 

“What’s up, Tae?” 

“Eh, not much. Working, sleeping, eating. You know.” He offered with a shrug, you nodding in response before he gestured to Jin’s room down the hallway. 

“I think he’s in the shower, although he might be out now. We just got back a little bit ago.” He explained your boyfriend’s absence, your mouth popping open into an ‘o’ shape with a single nod as you turned to head to Jin’s room.

“Oh wait, we’re ordering either Chinese or pizza for dinner. Which would you prefer?” He asked, dark eyebrow arched at you as he awaited your choice. 

“Hm, I’m fine with either, but I guess I could go for Chine-”

“Yes!” He interrupted you with a cheer, you smiling at the man’s outburst as he pumped his fist into the air in victory. 

“You’re the tiebreaker since Yoongi-hyung didn’t care.” He explained his reaction, your mouth gaping in an “ah” before you chuckled at the man strutting down the hallway containing the bedrooms, loudly informing everyone of the updated dinner plan. 

Following his path to reunite with your boyfriend, you listened as some of the boys laughed at Taehyung’s actions, bursting into each room to sassily tell the members what he’d be ordering.

Pushing the door to Jin’s room open, you were immediately met with the sound of water slapping the shower floor, steam lingering in the bedroom area as it continued to pour out from the open doorway of his en-suite bathroom. 

“Hello, my love.” You called out to the man as you stepped into the thick air of the bathroom, pointer finger flicking up the switch that powered the vent to hopefully suck some of the humidity out of the room. 

“Baby! Hey, come on in, it’s warm.” He pushed the curtain back to reveal himself in all his glory, making your eyebrows raise in amusement at your boyfriend’s lack of shame. Modesty was never one of his top traits.

“I can see that. The whole bedroom is steamed up.” You chuckled, Jin smiling at the noise before his fingers started to gesture in an attempt to entice you into the shower with him. 

You remained in your spot in the middle of the bathroom, lightly smirking as you crossed your arms over your chest, proud at the annoyed sigh that came from his mouth when he realized you wouldn’t make this easy on him. 

“Can you come in here please?” He asked again, making you hum in consideration. 

“I don’t know, I was gonna go help Tae order the food.” You excused with a nonchalant shrug, your boyfriend rolling his eyes at your teasing.

“Fine, but can I have a kiss before you go?” He proposed, causing you to step closer to him as he pushed his dripping hair back from his forehead, leaning out of the shower slightly to press his lips to yours. 

“Ah! Jin!” You yelled when his wet hands went to your hips, your shirt now soaked through with the water from his palms. 

The man’s high pitched laugh bounced off the shower walls at your reaction, causing you to bite your lip to not smile at the sound.

“I cannot believe you fell for that.” He laughed, you shaking your head at him in disappointment. 

“Me neither.” You huffed, turning to grab a towel to scrub at the now wet spot in hopes to dry it. 

“Come on, baby, just come in. You’re already wet now, anyway.” He said, you scoffing at his relentless begging. 

Glancing up from your shirt to his face, you couldn’t stop your eyes from trailing down his chest and torso, truly a sight to behold even after how many times you’d seen it before. 

The man caught your eyes traveling downward, a smug smirk lifting the corners of his lips causing you to blush when you met his eyes again, quickly diverting your attention back to scrubbing at your shirt. 

You and Jin both knew that the vision of water streaming down his taut body was tempting you enough, and with a little more convincing, you’d join him in no time. 

“Baby, can you please come in and shower with me?” He asked again, causing you to sigh at his persistence with a shake of your head.

“Jin, I don’t think that’s a good idea, the guys are here.” You said knowingly, not trusting the man to keep his hands to himself when it was so easy not to.

“Hey, I can control myself when I want to.” He raised his eyebrows to further prove his point, eyes widened as you raised your own back at him. 

“Doubtful.” You snorted, Jin sighing in response as he leaned back against the shower wall, gaze locked on you all the while. 

“C’mon, love, I’ll wash your hair for you.” He promised, holding a hand outside of the shower to reach for you, water droplets falling from his fingers to the tile floor as you remained stubbornly in your spot. 

“Please? I just want to hold you, I missed you today.” He begged, eyes brightening when you sighed, caving into him and his advances because, fuck, you missed him today too. 

“Ugh, fine. Only because I skipped a shower this morning, though.” You said, Jin humming with a smile at your excuse.  

The way his eyes traced over your body as you tugged your shirt over your head did not go unnoticed, your eyes rolling in annoyance when the removal of your bra caused a hungrier spark in his eyes. 

“Hey babe, my eyes are up here.” You placed your pointer and middle fingers under his chin, tilting his head up to look at you as a breathy chuckle fell from his lips. 

“Sorry. You can’t blame me though, you’re gorgeous.” He defended his actions, making you duck your head to cover the heat rising to your cheeks, brushing the action off as your fingers began to fumble with your jeans zipper. 

If you ever got used to his compliments, you’d surely be surprised with yourself. 

Shuffling out of your pants, you quickly slid your underwear down your legs, practically running into Jin’s open arms due to the cold air of the bathroom now chilling your bare skin. 

“Hey.” He smiled down at you, you mirroring his expression as his arms locked around your waist, holding you to his warm chest. 

“Hi.” You replied, heart beating a little faster as his hands traveled up from your back to your jaw, cupping your face in his hands as you leaned into his soft pouted lips for a kiss. 

“How was your day?” He mumbled, you humming nonchalantly.

“Nothing to write home about. How was yours?” You asked, Seokjin humming with a smile.

“Nothing to write home about.” He shrugged, you rolling your eyes before withdrawing your body from his, leaning around him to grab the shampoo from the shelf installed on his shower wall. 

“Yah, I said I’d do that for you.” He snatched the bottle from your hand, squeezing the gel onto his palm before snapping the lid of the bottle shut once again, setting it aside and placing his fingers at the top of your head. 

You hummed as his fingernails began scratching at your scalp, the circular motions of his fingers lathering the shampoo causing you to lean farther into his chest. Wrapping your arms around his torso, you relaxed your body against his, pausing when your thigh was met with a familiar bulge. 

Peeking your eyes open to look at the man, you were met with a slightly guilty expression, his eyebrows raised and mouth pursed in an attempt to push back a smile. 

“Jin.” You sighed in disappointment, the man’s lips quirking into a smile at your tone before murmuring to shut your eyes, tipping your head back underneath the water. 

After thoroughly rinsing the shampoo out of your hair, he led you back to a straightened position, smoothing your hair back from your face before placing a kiss on your forehead. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it.” He chuckled, you shaking your head with a small smile as you leaned down to grab the bottle of conditioner beside you.

“Yeah, and I can’t help it either. Not when the apartment is full of six other unsuspecting men.” You remarked, Jin huffing at your stubbornness as you coated your hair with conditioner. 

As tempting as it was, you could, absolutely, no way in hell, have sex with Jin in the dorm when the others were around. You two had made that rule early on in your relationship, so you didn’t know why he was suddenly not so against the idea now. 

Hearing him sigh as you closed your eyes to once again rinse underneath the showerhead, you thought he’d finally given up on the whole sex in the shower thing. 

You were proven wrong when you felt the sudden touch of his hand on your hip bone, his chest pressed to your back as his chin rested on your shoulder. 

“Can I at least wash you?” He asked, making you smile as you turned your face to see him, hand going up to scratch at the back of his head affectionately. 

“As long as it’s innocent.” You replied, Jin nodding with a kiss to your cheek before he leaned over to grab the bottle of body wash, squeezing a good amount onto his palm before snapping the lid shut. 

Placing his palm on your stomach, he rubbed the area above your belly button in tender circles, spending some time there before slowly beginning to descend his hand down below your navel.

Hesitating to see if what he was doing was okay with you, he looked down at you over your shoulder, nuzzling his nose against your temple in a silent ask.

His hand remained unmoving until you gave him the go-ahead, expecting the innocent lather of soap bubbles rubbed onto your lower stomach with those long fingers to not fluster you. 

Big mistake. 

Noticing your gulp, Seokjin smiled to himself, hands traveling lower and settling onto your thighs, fingers teasingly staying put even when your hips greedily bucked into his touch. It was reflexive, but you immediately regretted it, knowing it gave him a hint of just how weak you were here.

“Jin. No funny business.” You repeated, mostly to yourself as a reminder of your own rule. God, it made sense to you only a few minutes ago, but now you couldn’t come up with a logical reason for you to not let him touch you the way you so badly wanted him to.

“Okay.” He sighed, removing his hands from you in defeat, only to raise his eyebrows in shock when you whined, hand gripping his wrist to guide it back to your abdomen. 

“Love, you just said no funny business.” He stated obviously, eyebrows knit together in confusion as you seemed to internally struggle with the situation you were being faced with. 

To give in to your desires and risk royally embarrassing yourselves, or to push off both of your needs after a long day of not being able to see each other?

Fuck it.

“I didn’t say to stop touching me, though.” You spoke up softly, Jin smiling at the sudden shyness in your tone. 

Wordlessly placing his hand back on your stomach, he kept his palm circling the area, innocently at first before trailing up your sides, grabbing ahold of your breasts and smiling at the way you arched your back, pushing your chest into his touch. 

Bringing your arms up above your head to wrap around Seokjin’s neck, he hummed as your fingernails scratched at the hair at his nape affectionately.

Deciding to push it further, he placed a thumb on your nipple, rubbing it in slow circles as he admired the way your head fell back onto his shoulder, eyes fallen closed at the mere feeling of his hands on you, soft sighs leaving your gaped mouth.

“You’re so pretty.” 

You whimpered at both his words and the way one of his hands left your breasts, trailing down your wet skin to settle between your legs, whining when he bypassed the area craving his attention most. 

“B-baby,” You stuttered at the combination of his fingers tracing over your inner thigh and his thumb remaining at your nipple, your boyfriend groaning as your ass pushed back against his now fully hard cock.

At the action, Seokjin rewarded you with his finger attaching to your swelled clit, rubbing at the bud with the pad of his thumb as you whined in response.

Biting down on your bottom lip to quiet your noises, you nearly drew blood from the skin when his long fingers curled into your entrance, using both the water and your arousal for an easy slip inside. 

“Fuck, Jin, the guys.” You whimpered, chest stuttering in a broken breath when he began thrusting his appendages into you. 

“They won’t hear anything over the water. Don’t worry, just let me make you feel good.” He mumbled into the skin of your neck, the way his mouth latched onto the skin and gently sucked on it shutting you up immediately. 

“Okay?” He released your skin with a pop, to which you eagerly nodded your head yes, the steady heartbeat between your legs winning, all logical thinking being tossed out the window without a second glance. 

Turning around in his grip, his hands quickly adjusted to hold your hips, eyes slipping shut with a drawn-out moan escaping his pretty lips when you dove forward to give him a heated kiss, tongue greedily traveling inside his mouth. 

“Shit.” He groaned against your bottom lip when he felt your fingers wrap around his length, breath catching in his throat at the way you pumped his neglected cock in your closed palm. 

“You’re too persuasive for your own good.” You smirked, Jin’s scoff at your words being cut off by the gasp you got out of him when your hand twisted around his base. 

The glide of your hand against his velvety skin had him reeling, head falling forward to rest on your forehead, hips subtly thrusting into your hand as his eyes clenched shut. Swiping your thumb over his slit, he hissed a breath in through his teeth in response, making you smirk at him in pride.

“Baby,” he exhaled, hand gripping your own and guiding it away from his cock, leaving it pulsing in need in favor of lifting your body so that you were leaning against the wall, a gasp coming from you at the feeling of your warm skin pressing to the ice cold shower wall.

Nevertheless, you responded by wrapping your legs around his waist, your arms securing themselves around his neck.

“Love, is this a safe position?” You asked teasingly, the smirk being wiped off your face by the feeling of his lips against yours, hungrily capturing your lips with his again and again.

“Would you like to test it?” 

“Hmm, but if I end up with a cracked skull, you’re fronting the bill,” your voice softened as his lips began trailing down your neck, placing sweet kisses along your collarbones and a final peck to your sternum, coming back to eye level with you as his fingers squeezed your thighs.

“I won’t let you crack your head open. But I will absolutely pay extra for my girlfriend to be stitched up like some sci-fi shit.” He joked, you scoffing in reply before meeting his lips once again, breath hitching in your throat when you felt his tip bump against your entrance. 

“Baby, please.” You whined, Jin hushing you with his lips smoothing over yours, hand traveling down to properly line himself up before pushing his head inside. 

“Fuck,” You whimpered at the intrusion, the back of your head bumping against the wall as his cock sank into you inch by inch. 

He groaned at the tightness of your walls enveloping him, eyes fluttering shut, holding himself there for only a moment before beginning to withdraw his hips, a soft moan leaving your lips as he gently pushed back into you.

Clenching your muscles around him, you watched with pride as his features screwed, eyes closed in bliss as his pretty face looked absolutely wrecked.

A loud moan escaped him at the feeling, causing you to press your lips to his to muffle the noise. You hummed when his tongue met yours, using your arms wrapped around his neck as leverage to grind down onto him.

“Jin, faster.” You whispered, the man moaning at your words before he began to pull back, entering you at a faster pace than his previous. 

“Ah, fuck.” You hissed as he started snapping his hips against you to drive his cock in and out, clamping your teeth down onto his shoulder to quiet your noises. 

The way the head of his cock hit all the right spots, his harsh thrusts jolting your body up the wall; you felt dizzy, seeing stars as the man’s sexy grunts and low moans slipped past his pretty pink lips. 

You were so out of the zone that you didn’t even realize you were suddenly sliding down the wall, Jin’s feet having slipped on the shower floor due to your position. 

Steadying himself, he quickly caught your body before your ass could collide with the floor, narrowly avoiding a broken tailbone in the process. 

Jin’s eyes widened in a panic as he froze for a moment, quickly regaining his sense and running his hands down your arms in concern. 

“Fuck, baby, are you okay?” He seemed to survey your eyes then allow them to trail down your body in search of any obvious injuries on your skin, his features crowded with worry until you gave him a verbal answer. 

“I’m fine, Jinnie. But unless you want that whole sci-fi girlfriend thing to become a reality, I think we should figure out another solution.” 

And while his head told him that it was probably the best idea to just stop and get out of the shower and move to the bed like civilized people, his other head told him that he needed to be back inside of you as soon as possible. And that head was winning right now. 

“I have an idea.” He spoke up, hands turning your body so that your back was facing him, leaning over your back to bend you over so that your arms could reach out to grip the bar at the side of the shower. 

Your eyes widened at the unexpected action, pouting slightly at the view of the shower wall instead of Jin’s face. Still, you dutifully reached your hand out to grasp the pole in front of you, arching your back to push your ass up for Jin’s viewing. 

It seemed to work, his hands reaching down to grip your hips as he ground his hard cock against the flesh with a groan. 

“Jin,” You exhaled, “don’t tease.” 

He didn’t hesitate to follow your instruction, your head dropping forward as he made his re-entrance into you, quiet moans leaving your mouths simultaneously at the feeling.

As Seokjin rocked into you, loud moans spewed out of his mouth and echoed around the shower walls, most likely spilling out into the bedroom. God, you hoped nobody had ventured inside. 

“Jin, Jin.” You called in a whispered shout, the man stopping reluctantly with a whine.

“What?” He practically whimpered, frustrated at the interruption of euphoria flowing through his body, you giggling a bit in response to his grumpy tone.

“You need to be quiet, baby.” You reminded him, nothing but the sound of the water raining down from the showerhead filling the room, causing you to turn your head back to look up at him due to his rare silence. 

His hair was damp and disheveled, strands strewn across his forehead as his hooded eyes looked down at you. His chest was still rising and falling rapidly, the smooth golden skin highlighted by the water sticking to it. You practically drooled at the scene, Jin’s clearing of his throat catching your attention once again and bringing your eyes back up to his face.

“Oh? I do?” He smirked and, before you could nod your head yes to answer him, he brutally snapped his hips into you again, causing you to cry out before you bit down on your lip to quiet the noise. 

Leaning down to press his chest to your back, he continued his pace, spreading your legs farther with a nudge of his foot against your own as his harsh pants filled your ear. 

“Oh god, there, baby.” You whined as he suddenly brushed up against a rough spot on your walls, your boyfriend taking the cue and hitting the spot at an increasingly fast pace as you whined incoherent praises to him. 

More rough grunts and moans spilled out of his mouth in response, noises becoming louder as you began grinding your hips back onto him, successfully slipping his cock farther into your heat. 

Linking an arm around your waist to rest a hand on your stomach, he began pressing kisses along your upper back and shoulders as he continued to pound into you, drawing soft moans out of your mouth that slightly echoed around the bathroom. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He breathed as you clenched around him, quickly pulling out and taking himself into his hand to encourage his orgasm. 

The sprays of cum shot onto your back were immediately washed away by the water streaming from the showerhead, both of your heavy breathing filling the enclosed space before your squeal filled the room, caught off guard by the man suddenly sinking to his knees and attaching his mouth to your throbbing core. 

“Ugh, Jin!” 

You couldn’t restrain yourself from yelling out as Jin’s fingers spread you open so that his tongue could circle your pulsing clit, slipping through your folds to end up back at your entrance, securing your wobbling knees with his arms as he plunged his wet muscle into you.

Biting your lip to hold in your noises, you began to subtly roll your hips against Seokjin’s mouth, him encouraging the movement as he completely buried his face between your legs. 

He grunted against you in frustration at your lack of reactions to him, withdrawing his tongue from your entrance, eliciting a whine from you before the feeling of two of his long fingers entering you instead caused you to moan, Jin smirking in satisfaction before leaning forward to tongue at your neglected clit. 

“Baby, I’m,” You cut yourself off with a gasp as Jin’s fingers curled to brush against your walls, eyes squeezing shut as your muscles convulsed around his appendages, your boyfriend’s moan sending vibrations through you and throwing you over the edge. 

You appreciated the hold he had on your legs as you came down from your orgasm, knees weak and head dizzy as you tried to regain control of your breathing. 

His hands never left you as he stood back up, trailing his palms up your thighs to hold you steady by your hip bones, turning you around to face him and lean back against the wall. 

“You have to wash me again.” You mumbled into his chest sleepily, hearing the man laugh before you felt his lips pressing to the side of your head. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Your drowsiness only increased as you felt his soothing hands glide over your body, washing you once again with a lather of soap on his hands as you leaned into him. It was peacefully quiet until Jin seemed to snap out of his state of lethargy, dancing his fingertips across your sensitive hip bones, causing you to giggle at the ticklish feeling with a quiet whine of his name. 

After getting dressed in some of Jin’s sweatpants and a hoodie, you collapsed onto the bed, exhaustion hitting you as Jin lightly chuckled, ruffling a towel through his hair before tossing it into the bin beside him.

“Jin,” You grunted in complaint when he jumped onto the bed, causing the mattress to bounce and moving your entire body from your comfortable position. 

The man only laughed in return, wrapping his arms around you as you cuddled into his chest, resting your forehead against the material of his shirt, his breaths almost lulling you to sleep before remembering the other grown men wandering around outside the room.

“Do you think they heard us?” You asked quietly, Jin humming nonchalantly in response, watching as you glanced up at him for further elaboration.

“I think there’s a 50/50 chance.” He put it simply, laughing loudly when you whined and buried your face into the material of his shirt, hearing your muffled words of complaint disappear into the fabric. 

“They’re not that naive, baby. Obviously we’re sexually active, what’s the big deal?” He shrugged, still face unchanging as you looked up at him with widened eyes. 

“Just because it’s known doesn’t mean it needs to be proven.” 

At your words, you got another shrug from the man, causing you to roll your eyes at the gesture but cuddle up to him nonetheless. 

“You’re lucky I love you.” You sighed, nuzzling your cheek against the soft fabric of his shirt and letting your eyes fall shut again. 

”I’m aware of that.” A kiss to your temple punctuated his drowsy words, a breath puffing from his nostrils as your hand rubbed at his damp scalp.

“Are we going to sleep now?” You asked, the question muffled into his chest as he stroked his fingers through your wet hair.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” He agreed, the words barely audible as his mouth moved only slightly in his half asleep state. 

You giggled at the sleepy man, lifting your head from his pec in order to press your lips to his plush bottom one, then puckering your lips against his top one, the corners of his mouth quirking in a fond sleepy grin as his hand raised to support the back of your head, pushing your lips directly to his to initiate a proper kiss. 

[magpiemorality]

Bring It On, Moceit/Moremus, 5/5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5  AO3

We’re here; the final part. The happy ending, hopefully… 

Huge thanks to @littlestr​ for the original prompts! And thank you all for following along with this fun weekend jaunt, I have come to adore these boys and they’ve outgrown the little prompt oneshot they were supposed to exist in, constantly yelling at me for more attention until now we’re here. There’s even art HERE by @sometimeswritingsometimesdying go look at it!!!! 

Without further ado; please enjoy.

Warnings: dismissal of polyamory (character doesn’t believe it’s real/feasible), swearing 

Patton Sanders was the prettiest boy in the whole college...

***

Patton Sanders was the prettiest boy in the whole college. He wasn’t being vain or anything; there had once been an online poll on the college gossip blog and he’d won hands down. It was just fact at this point. 

He was also currently (in his own internal poll) the saddest. Everything had been going so great (shut up Remy it had) and then it had taken a turn towards the endgame and then- 

Well, what had happened with Remus? Patton still wasn’t sure, and Remus was ignoring his texts so he had no clues to go on apart from the fact that one minute the boy was giving him some very upmarket salmon filets and pulling off a classing hair-behind-the-ear move that would have possibly even led to a kiss- and then nothing. Remus had suddenly… changed his mind? He’d freaked out for some reason anyway, and had just run off. 

Since then nothing, nada, total radio silence (yeah so it had only been two days so what Remy shh) and Patton was falling into despair. There had to have been a vital signal he’d missed somewhere that would have turned the whole thing around. 

Maybe the fish was a clue? 

He and Remy had spent a full evening poring over the fish. Was it a secret message? Symbolic in some way? Was there something written on it? Patton had drawn the line at trying to open it up and check the inside because he still very much wanted to save it to cook for Remus some day, so it had been rehomed in the freezer after a careful perusal of storage methods on Google. 

And there was a whole other problem now too- Dex was avoiding him. Over text, on campus, in the cafe; everywhere Patton could think of to try and run into his second paramour turned out to be a bust, and the only way (again, two days was ages Remy don’t be a bitch) he could have avoided even accidentally bumping into Dex for that long was if the other boy was actively staying away. 

Those texts went unanswered too. 

(Remy was starting to lose patience.)

“But I just don’t-”

“Oh my god gurl please don’t finish that sentence!” Patton’s very best friend and emotional support gay snapped, slamming his Starbucks cup down on the table (situated outside the cafe, so they could be seen by as many people as possible, of course). “I literally can not with you.”

Patton’s nose wrinkled. “My tutor Logan says we shouldn’t say literally when it’s not grammatically accurate.” 

“Your tutor Logan can literally suck my dick. No seriously; he’s hot, get me his number and I will consider literally forgiving you.” 

“But-”

“Baby, sugarplum, Patty-cake- for the love of all things caffeine; just take a chill pill okay? Boys will come and go in your life and if they’re worth anything at all then they’ll be back. Besides, they’re probably just duking it out over you somewhere. Maybe shirtless. Maybe there’s baby oil…” Remy trailed off with unfocused eyes, sipping his drink absently and Patton sighed, because even that nice (very nice, saved for later) image not enough to dispel his melancholy. 

He checked his phone again for the millionth time that day. Spring break was coming up and the cheer squad Whatsapp was going wild with anticipation, but Patton wasn’t in the mood. He’d foolishly hoped that one of his handsome men was going to sweep him off his feet and away to somewhere spectacular for the holiday, but that hope had tanked dramatically in light of recent developments. Normally that would’ve just made him shift his hopes towards prom, but it wasn’t enough of a big deal as it had always been in high school, and it was really more of a friends’ night out situation. Not the sort of time to be expecting big dramatic declarations of love, you know or whatever. 

No, the universe seemed to be spelling out ‘Patton Sanders is going to die alone’ pretty hard, even if Remy wasn’t in agreement. 

“Who are you texting, anyway?” Patton asked, picking at his nail polish with a pout. “Let me at least live vicariously through you until I waste away, a tragic damsel whose beauty was lost to time…" 

Remy looked up, talking around the straw in his mouth. “Jesus you’ve got it bad. And it’s none of your business, P, I’ll tell you when you aren’t moping.” The way Patton visibly and genuinely sagged seemed to revive Remy’s best friend sympathy instincts, because he quickly finished his drink, took Patton by the hands and pulled him up. “Come on cupcake, it’s the weekend and we’re going shopping. Because no matter what happens with your boys- it’s nearly Spring Break and we are gonna look hot to trot!” 

And who was Patton to disagree with such flawless logic? 

***

Maybe there was something to be said for the mystical powers of retail therapy, because when Patton flopped down on his bed that evening there was a text notification from a blocked number on his phone that made his heart beat wildly. 

It contained an invitation, to meet the following weekend at a destination that would be sent in a future text, and it was signed ‘from your not-so-secret admirer’. 

The week went by horribly slowly. Even practice seemed to drag, and yet… 

Suddenly Dex was meeting him every day with his tea again, no word of explanation but a soft smirk always hovering around his lips, lighting up his usually serious face. 

Suddenly Remus was watching and winking at him from across the gym- not approaching this time round but offering little shy waves and offering help when he could, putting away the gym equipment or offering a protein bar on the way out just as Patton’s stomach started to rumble. 

Something was up, and Patton’s head was in a spin, but it was oddly perfect. 

Even Remy couldn’t believe the change. 

“You’re totally one hundred percent sure they’re not on drugs?” Patton shot him a look. “Okay just double checking. Joined a cult? Kidnapped by aliens and replaced by pod people? Serial killers planning on luring you in an-”

“God, Remy, no!” He hit his friend with his pillow, laughing at the offended noises Remy made before he joined Patton in giggling on the bed. “No I think they just… sorted something out. It’s weird though, right? Like there’s something weird happening? Not bad weird, but…”

Remy mirrored his shrug. “You’ll have to wait and see what happens with your ‘not so secret admirer’,” he said, singing the name. “Do you have any clue which one of them it is?” 

“Well no. But surely it’s Dex? I mean, he’s Dexter, he can sort out a blocked number. It’s… Remus is a total carebear but he’s not exactly James Bond, you know? It’s got to be Dex. But he’d just out and say it, I know he would, so I don’t- I can’t be sure. Remus is the dramatic one…” Round and round in circles they went but never came any closer to solving the puzzle. 

Friday came and went and at long last it was time to head out for the grand reveal. Remy had helped him get dressed (cute but weather appropriate and with good running shoes, just in case) and they were waiting in the living room for the address to come through. 

His phone buzzed. 

Once they’d stopped shrieking in excitement they googled and found the address was of the same cafe he’d spent so much time in with Dexter over Winter break, which- it was probably not a good thing that his heart had sunk over ruling out the possibility this was Remus all along, right? It had simultaneously skipped a beat at the confirmation that it was Dex, so… You win some, you lose some he supposed. 

Crunch time. 

He hurried along the streets- glad for the tiny size of their college town and for the lack of rain on the crisp February morning- and slipped into the cafe. Only to see not Dexter O’Reilly sat inside waiting for him, but- 

“Remus?!”

***

Let it be known that Remus Duke was not the prettiest boy in the whole college, far from it. Nor was he the most intelligent, nor the richest nor the most popular. However what Remus Duke had in spades was earnest charm. It was lethal in a one on one situation, and he made sparing use of it so as not to abuse his power. 

Let it also be known that Dexter O’Reilly was far from immune to said charm, especially when it was turned on him from a few feet across a brightly coloured, messy, but shockingly cosy room in a frat house on Greek Row. If Dexter was the Slytherin here then Remus was almost certainly the Hufflepuff who would drive said Slytherin to world domination. 

In this case, of course, world domination was replaced by Patton Sanders, and the prospect of getting to date him. The concept was the same though, and the intense level of detail required to get the plan exactly right was too. 

In fact, Dex had stayed way later that night than either of them had expected, as they’d plotted and planned and discussed various ways of making their dreams reality. What Remus lacked in book smarts, he made up for with an innate talent for asking exactly the right questions to fix any inefficiencies or problems before they ever arose, and you bet Dex had made a mental note of that for future reference. 

What neither of them had really considered, was the exact reaction Patton would have when he walked in the cafe door on Saturday morning to find not just Remus, but- 

***

“And Dex!” Patton’s eyes were big and round as they switched back and forth and back and forth between the two young men. He clutched his phone in his hand like a lifeline, wondering if this was going to turn out to be the worst day of his life so far, rather than the tentative best he’d pencilled it in as… 

“Hey,” Remus smiled hopefully at him, standing up and awkwardly trying to gesture Patton to his seat like a magician’s glamorous assistant or something. Patton took pity on him and did in fact sit, still mostly set to ????? and !!!!!! and only just managing to process what was happening. 

Opposite him, Dexter crossed one long leg over the other, and Remus perched on the edge of the third chair like he was physically restraining himself from getting up to go be closer to Patton. Which wasn’t entirely untrue, as it happened. 

“Guys, what’s going on?” Patton asked weakly, looking to Dex for guidance, but it was Remus who replied. 

“Well,” he started, twisting his hands around nervously. “We ended up having a bit of a chat, last week. I um, I- oh fuck what was I supposed to say?!” Dexter snorted softly and Remus pouted at him. “You’re no help, we said we’d do this together!” 

You could’ve knocked Patton over with a feather. His mouth actually fell open at the display of camraderie. Suddenly the serial killer theory had merit. 

“Patton. Through a convoluted set of circumstances we ended up discussing our possible futures… with you. It’s fairly clear you’re struggling to choose between the two of us, right?” He waited until Patton nodded slowly. “So we thought… why choose?” 

“My brother Roman told me about this class he took last semester see, about like, changing identities or something. People, basically, and he heard about all these different things they never taught us in school! And one of them was-”

“Wait,” Patton interjected, holding a hand out because he was ninety percent sure he knew where this was going, but- “That’s real? Having… sharing partners is real? It actually works?” 

“Hey how’d you know what I was going to s-”

“Yes, darling, yes to all of that. If the people involved are honest and open and willing to work on it,” Dexter interrupted, smiling at Patton. Remus was also looking at him, nearly bouncing in his seat with excitement, overflowing with energy like always. Gosh Patton loved his energy, his enthusiasm for life, his potential, ahem, stamina… 

He turned back to Dex, only to be filled with warmth at the look he was getting, because he loved the way Dex gave him special smiles he gave no one else. He loved his soft, clever words, and his gentleness. 

Oh. 

“Oh.” There was quiet for a moment before the two hopefuls shared a concerned glance. 

“Patton?” Dexter prompted. “Is that… a good ‘oh’ or a bad one? We uh, we know it’s kinda not what you were expecting, probably?”

“And you can take your time to think about it!”

“Thank you Remus, yes. You can take your time, darling. But we would like to try this with you. However you like. And if we want to change things down the road… we can talk about that too.”

Patton was the prettiest boy in the whole college. Seemed like today he was the luckiest, too. “Yes!” He shouted, leaping out of his seat to grab them both in a hug, dragging them together forcefully. “Oh gosh, goodness, yes, that sounds perfect!” He gave them each a kiss on the nearest cheek and sat back down, cheeks red but smile bright, holding his hands out for them to take one each. 

“This is going to be so cool!” Remus crowed, and Dex chuckled softly at his exuberance, squeezing Patton’s fingers, his eyes betraying his own quiet excitement.

Yeah, Patton thought. It really was. 

--

Bonus 1 | Bonus 2 | Bonus 3 | Bonus 4

[sphericaldice]

We Have Not Touched The Stars Nor Are We Forgiven (aka The One Where Ishimaru Jacks Off With Oowada Butter)

( ‘́⌣’̀) Ao3 (˘̩̩ε˘̩ƪ)

Summary: Ishimaru Kiyotaka handles grief and love the best way he knows how, poorly.

Author Comments: Just gonna come out and say it, this is a darkfic lol. If you’re not in to that, then you may wanna skip this one. This fic is also r-18 so younuns please come back later! 

Reblog if you like what I write and check out my Ao3 ㋛

SPOILERS FOR DANGANROMPA TRIGGER HAPPY HAVOC  ***

“Wh-whoops...I slipped...Sorry, man.” 

“Sorry, man.” Was all the Biker could muster, gazing away from Kiyotaka and his remaining classmates. Though his face was veiled by his unkempt pompadour, tears crept down his visage and dripped from his chin, making their presence known to everyone. 

Ishimaru Kiyotaka didn’t remember who he voted for instead of Mondo, it wasn’t a conscious election. It could have been Byakuya, Hifumi, Yasuhiro, Aoi, Celestia, dead Chihiro, Touko the harbourer of a blade-wielding maniac, or Makoto, who shot down every last one of his feeble rebuttals, just anyone, anything but his Aniki. Kiyotaka’s final bid to save Oowada Mondo was predictably trivial. No one listened to him because no one loved like him. That had to be it, none of his classmates had a bro they made a promise too. That’s how they could be so blind and imperturbable. So wrong. It was all wrong.

The bilious cackling of the mechanical ursine wrang in Kiyotaka’s ears “Pupupupupu! Punishment time!” it squawked with excitement that mocked the mournful courtroom. 

 Kiyotaka staggered forward, towards a detached Mondo who wouldn’t meet his tear-drowned eyes. The Ultimate Moral Compas didn’t get very far before Sakura swiftly encapsulated him in a bear hug. He watched the boy, the bear, and the bike pull off in the direction of an enormous metal cage embezzled with wooden tiger cut-outs.  

Gunk from his nose stained his quivering lips as he cried out “Wait! I’m asking you to just wait, please!” Kiyotaka spurted in place, hopelessly retrained by the Ultimate Fighter. 

Sakura tightened her grip “You fool! Do you want to be dragged off as well?” she snapped but her usually husky and authoritative voice was brittle. 

Kiyotaka clawed unprofitably at Sakura’s thick, brown, arms. If he could just break free he would fly ahead and save his innocent best friend. But he was not strong enough. “Why won’t you wait!? I’m begging you to listen to me!” 

Sakura groaned and hung her head, and at that moment Kiyotaka felt dampness against his hair.

The execution couldn’t have been more than a minute. Sakura attempted to shift her arms in a way that allowed her to cover Kiyotaka’s eyes but he would not allow it. He watched, sangria eyes bulging, as the tiger-adorned contraption began to spin Mondo around and around. Even from a safe distance, he could see, take in Aniki’s face, first stained with regret and then completely deformed by consternation as the machine gathered unbelievable speed. Kiyotaka witnessed the moment Aniki’s neck snapped from whiplash and he was beyond anything he could’ve done to save him. Seconds later the man Kiyotaka loved was a jet-black blemish on the cage’s steel tracks and the bitter scent of smoke bombarded his nostrils. It was over. Or so he thought.

 There was a sharp ting akin to an old fashioned microwave and the machine expelled something that resembled a pint of yoghurt. The cream coloured container slid across the checkered linoleum and landed at Fukawa Touko’s feet. The haggard girl did her best impression of a cat vomiting and stumbled backwards into Asahina Aoi who reacted with a high-pitched yelp once she saw what had spooked Touko.

“W-what is that!?” stammered the tanned swimmer, covering her mouth with a quivering palm.”

“Haa...Haa...Consider it a souvenir for Captain Morals over there, pupupupupu!” Monukuma replied between pants, he was exhausted from his impromptu hula-hoop routine. 

Sakura released Kiyotaka and he clambered over to the two girls, hastily despite his legs feeling like lead. The boy fell to his knees, snatching up the container. He stared blankly at the lid and stern, smokey eyes stared back at him. It was Aniki. By then a few other classmates had gathered around him, anxious to see what was causing such a commotion. 

Naegi Makoto leered over Kiyotaka’s shoulders and read the pint’s label aloud. “‘Oowada Butter’..? What the hell, Monokuma, that’s too horrible! You can’t just turn our friend into...butter!” 

“Pupupupu, Oh but I can! And I have a feeling something beary interesting is going to happen tonight!”  The bear vanished, marking the end of the trial.

 Students filed into the crimson elevator, some looking rather ill, all completely silent. Kiyotaka felt a large hand on his shoulder and glanced skyward at the tower of a woman before him. 

“Come now, friend, we do not want to miss the elevator,” Sakura said, regarding him kindly. On her other arm, Aoi clung for dear life. “We will walk you back to your room.”

He allowed Sakura to drag him from the courtroom.

***

They sullen group strolled wordlessly for what felt like aeons to Kiyotaka and arrived outside his room a few minutes before 10 pm. 

Sakura’s low voice cut the thick silence, “Would you like Asahina and I to stay over tonight?”

“No. That would be improper.”

“It’s fine, really,” Aoi chimed, “Ogami-chan and I have had plenty of sleepovers when I need someone!” 

If this were any other evening Kiyotaka would’ve delivered a choice lecture onto Asahina Aoi and her muscular...cohort, but tonight he said nothing. Without replying he reached for his door, but a hand on his shoulder froze his motion.

“Wait, Ishimaru.” Sakura addressed him firmly, but there was an underlying softness and compassion in her voice. “What do plan to do with that?” 

He knew immediately what she was referring to. He tightened his grip on the container. “I am going to keep it.”

“Whoa, are you sure? Just because that bear didn’t mess with the doughnuts or any of our other food doesn’t mean he didn’t poison that butter!” Aoi exclaimed, bringing a hand to her ample chest. 

Kiyotaka clenched his teeth. “I’m not going to eat it!” He trudged into his room slamming the door behind them before either girl could interject with anything else. 

He did not turn on the lights, opting instead to stand in the doorway of his black room for a while. Aoi and Sakura were likely calling out to him from behind the door, but the soundproof walls helped him blot the concerned pair from his mind. He hated Ogami Sakura and Asahina Aoi. He hated all of his classmates who had allowed Aniki to die. He hated Monokuma. He hated Fujisaki Chihiro because she was with Aniki and he wasn’t. He hated so much that his head spun. Monokuma’s nightly announcement aired and ended with Kiyotaka paying no mind to it. Eventually, he shuffled towards his bed, took a weary seat, and set the Oowada Butter on the adjacent drawer. He undressed to his briefs, socks and undershirt, in the dark, leaving his uniform to rest atop his boots on the floor. He knew it would wrinkle this way. He paid it no mind tonight. He swung his leg on to the bed, one at a time, mechanically, and let himself collapse. Laying there, Kiyotaka felt oddly restive. This was his typical bedtime, but his racing mind refused to align with his exhausted body, sleep would not grant him escape from this nightmare. He wanted desperately to will himself unconscious but every time he shut his eyes he saw Mondo’s neck snap. Again and again and again and again and-

The teen bolted upright and urgently switched on the bedside lamp. To his relief, he discovered the butter was right where he left it. He snatched up the container, taking the time to thoroughly examine it in the dim lamplight, reading all labels aloud in a shaky murmur. “Oowada Butter...Yankee Bread...Mondo...Two times the fat...80 kilograms...Keep refrigerated.” He gingerly turned the container on its side and read through the serving size, caloric total, nutritional facts, making his way to the ingredient summary, 

“Ingredients:...despair...cream...natural Oowada flavouring...salt...contains milk.”

The final warning text in bold stuck out to Kiyotaka. ‘Aniki doesn’t have any milk..?’ A feathery tingle engulfed his half-naked body and he chuckled joylessly at the thought for reasons he was unsure of. He lay back down, holding the container close.

“Aniki,” he addressed his best friend’s face on the plastic lid, “you’re not really gone, are you..?”  Then he peeled back the plastic lid to gaze upon the thick, cornsilk coloured expanse. 

‘Just because that bear didn’t mess with the doughnuts or any of our other food doesn’t mean he didn’t poison that butter!’ 

- He pushed Aoi’s voice to the back of his brain until it was completely muffled as if she were speaking from underwater. 

The lid was off and placed beside him, Mondo side up. He breathed anxiously, excitedly as he ran his right index finger through the butter, collecting a fair amount of it on the length.

‘Whoa, are you sure? Just because that bear didn’t mess with-’

Kiyotaka shoved his butter covered finger between his lips and into his mouth. His bright eyes widened the second it met his taste buds. Never in his life had he tasted something so rich and creamy and salty. Never in his life had he tasted Oowada Mondo. He sucked his finger clean in one greedy slurp. 

“Aniki…” He breathed the title, plaintively, “you’re not really gone, are you…?” 

This time he collected a large amount with two unsteady fingers and inserted them deliberately into his hungry mouth. Carefully he slid the fingers in and out, savouring the unique flavour until his fingers were clean. He swallowed, then repeated this a second time, and a third time. But by the third time he began to experience a strong foreign sensation. His body grew hot and restless, and his heart throbbed and tumbled in his chest. Kiyotaka was vaguely familiar with the concept of lust and arousal but had never given in to those sort of thoughts. He was the Ultimate Public Morales Committee Member, and it would be unbecoming of him. So he’d push the rare moments of desire to the back of his mind and drown it with push-ups and Tai-chi, and homework and lectures. But never had he encountered want and need so agonising. And never had he felt so hopeless. 

Kiyotaka groaned and whispered with his mouth full “Ahhhh, Aniki...What do I do, Aniki?”

With little thought, almost automatically, he scooped a small handful of butter with his left hand, slipped it into his tank top and slid a cold, buttered palm up the front of his chest until he found a nipple. He expelled several short and fast breathes as he encircled the sensitive thing with the heel of his palm then suddenly pinched it.

“Shit!” Kiyotaka hissed, nearly biting down on his own fingers. 

He wasn’t sure why he did that, it wasn’t something he’d ever thought to have done to himself. Regardless, the flustered boy yearned for more of this intense contact. Whatever had come over him, he craved more. By now the container was about half of its original contents. With both hands, he seized more of the decadent treat and began to feed his carnal hunger. His left palm slid smoothly up his chest to tend to his neglected right nipple all while three fingers on his right hand made love to his mouth, vigorously sliding in and out, overwhelming him with the taste of cream and saline. He resented the rest of his hand for not fitting into his mouth and preventing him to slide his three fingers further back, allowing him to gag on his Aniki. Kiyotaka relished in Aniki’s thickness and flavour, his toes curled and he crossed his legs, attempting to quench the new throbbing between his thighs. It wasn’t enough. He found his slick right hand had fallen from his mouth and was collecting a copious amount of butter, leaving it near depleted. His eyes grew wet as he pushed aside the cloth flap of his briefs and freed his arousal. Panting frantically he gripped the base of his shaft and slid up and down, meticulously spreading Aniki down this full erect length until slick with softened butter. More butter was collected with three fingers from his left hand and those fingers were subsequently thrust into his mouth. He drove his hips forward into his hand in hurried, desperate movements. Feeling Aniki. Tasting Aniki. Right now there was nobody else, just him and Aniki as one, for eternity. Without warning, Kiyotaka’s entire body clenched and he felt so light in the head that he wondered if he were floating above his sweat-drenched sheets. 

“What’s...hah...pening?” he sputtered between hastening breaths.

 His eyes fluttered shut and for a moment he saw The Ultimate Biker Gang Leader shrouded in a curious, artificial green light, leering at him with those cold grey jewels for eyes. Oowada Mondo’s thin brows were knit in characteristic assurance and his lips were curled into a slight smirk. 

“Aniki…” The title of the man he loved dribbled from his lips as he came in long, pearl coloured spurts. 

The Ultimate Moral Compass lay there in the aftermath of his ecstasy, stained in sweat, butter and semen, finally able to catch his breath. He reached into the container once more, only for his soiled fingers to be met with plastic. Emptiness. Kiyotaka beamed in spite of the rivers that flowed from his sangria pools. 

He rolled over to face the lid that bore Oowada Mondo’s image and spoke to it. “There’s nothing they can do now, Aniki. We really will be together forever. I promise.”

And right then there really was no one else in the world but The Ultimate Public Morals Committee Member, his Aniki, and the girl who watched him through the surveillance camera in his bedroom.

[sikereviewdotcom]

strawberry shortcake s2 ep1 - horse of a different color

this one was suggested by someone who couldnt keep their mouth shut and not sing the strawberry shortcake intro theme in the middle of our economy class

no one wanted to hear that, but they  went ahead and then i actually followed up on that train of thoughts i remembered about the fucking cartoons and i knew it pronto: its a must-see shit its like slightly above the level of magical school bus series, but the final rating is for the fin not the beginning so lets begin this horseshit:

were reviewing “horse of a different color”, it focuses indeed on strawberrys horse, honey pie pony (its her entire damn name, how sweet right? like all of them, i got diabete from this review but its the cost of maintaining this blog anyway, the kids are playing together on a that tree having fun jumping around like chimpanzees hooba hooba but sadly our filly quickly realizes she cant play king kong with them and keep falling on her ass,

yet since theyre all retarded or young (id say its a fifty-fifty case for them kinda normal ig, i mean they ARE literal 6yo) they try several ways of getting her up on that tree, not thinking how to get her down if they ever were to succeed (good for them: aint happening) its child labor too btw, from an horse still same deal what if honey pie fell down on them? crushing them corpses with her mighty pounds? the findus company would be delighted to hear such news, im sure its some quality (sweet ass) horse meat

once it all fails she understands a horse isnt meant to climb a tree, too big too fat its four legged, not even entertaining the relationship giraffes have with trees

but it aint over, then (after a talk with herself) hp hears the laughters of a bunch of kids which catches her attention, it always does who can ignore that sorta noise? although she aint annoyed by it shes just into the idea of riding a bike now, shes even gonna get a go at it oh yea thats it we finally found her human hobby gogdamn shes a backward furry

of course it fails aswell since she has no hand for the handle and shes heavy so i guess its the reason why she rides into w/e and cant stop? because otherwise she couldve also just.. actually it makes no sense does it? i mean she couldve easily stopped the ride actually how is that kid bike even holding her? ive never tried putting a pony on a bike for 6 y/o but i doubt about its capacity in not being crushed aswell as i doubt in the kids bones not being severely damaged after a visit under honey pies horsy buttcheeks

but all of that really makes her sad: she cant play with her human friends and shes the only horse around strawberry land or whatever see me tearing it for her, theres so much emotions in this episode especially after that filly trynna get kids to get into some horseplay horseshit like dude theyre only 6, lets go easy on them, might have a problem with the parents of the kids watching this episode no one even thought how fucked up this one part is? sure horseplay isnt only sexual or w/e but it still is the visual of 6yos on all four jumping around and neighing together with their ass a little bit too exposed wow im going on a dangerous road here? aint i? not gonna sue the writers im sure it was their subconscious speaking probably got issues from their childhood, eventually got them sorted out since 2004 what do i know? aside from me not caring

back on track : after seeing horsey being so sad the kiddos decide to get her a horse friend but where the fuck? they got no idea, they are proud nonetheless and go tell honey the good new until they are like “wait but we have no idea where to find horses!” ofc we get a big reveal, some serious strawberry shortcake lore: actually all the horses, ALL OF THEM FROM THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET are on one (1) single island: ice cream themed to diversify it all they are just chilling over there in ponyland and for some reason this one here got lost or idk guys she took the boat and checked the rest of the world out as an even younger filly, found strawberry and her friends and decided now she was a centaur  slash humanrry furry human, idk you get it but shes their friend and so on to introduce the concept of an AWESOME island full of equestrian activity and ofc ice cream but its kinda lame because who cares? everythings already made out of food, also why isnt the ice cream melting? its one water? nevermind for the introduction as i was saying, hp sings an horrendous sounding song it deteriorated my ear drums they got pierced or something  or maybe im exagerrating? either case horses cant sing:

so to the ice cream land they go, huh

of course it wouldnt be a big adventure without an almost broken bridge oh no whatever shall we do? could we possibly cross it safely? lets try it out  guys: yay it worked good for us little stress and suspense it was wack how they got honey pie out of the hole her big ass hoove made im mesmerized by the power of friendship and sugar at this point, just in full awe for the rest of the episode probably over dosed on all the ice cream flavoured horseshit, i got some all over my mouth its dripping on my desk i gotta clean that later

next thing we know: horses its all this episode is about (aside from labor) but you see, so far hp would switch between normal human language and neighing well turns out her other fellow equines can only neigh and so they just neigh together while our english well-spoken mammal translates to the moronic kids who just smile smuggly

of course the animals are having a welcome party then, dancing around while the morons are just bored, harsh one being a cartoon character isnt it guys? w/e theyre gonna ask for honey pie to come back home now, convinced that her natural habit isnt her place and she loves them too much to just leave them and never come back and break any plans they ever had together- oh shit looks like shes leaving forever huh? what a plot twist mark that on the bitch quota for today

the first one to leave is the little boy btw, important thing to note: hes the biggest pussy he cant even face reality: oh no, no more pony back time before sleep thats quite a bummer, downer and man how are they going to survive now they got no animal to watch over them? jesus theyre soon, on the boat (idk where they got it from idk why suddenly theyre on a boat because then theyre once again gonna cross that bridge but ok) anyway yea theyre having a relationship crisis during that ship trip yada yada ah and the bridge, because (see i do not call them morons for now reasons obviously they deserve this title not only because theyre 6 but also because they are just daft:) they proceed, once in the middle of the bridge all 4 of them, to stop and wonder

“will the bridge be able to hold all of us? wont it break? damn i wonder if it will crack” and they talks without moving until vlam: a tree comes and breaks it (dont ask) so now theyre in trouble:

back to ponyland: bitch pie realizes how much she misses her actual friends and that she can speak english which her other horse friends cant do so she is special and probably abnormal, shes a big outcat of the pony society and has no other reason but to escape her incoming death sentence for fraternizing with the humans of course none of the second part is true, she just wants to see the kids again so she says asta la vista baby to the neigher team and runs away see, she hasnt taken the boat and yet also arrive to the bridge? why a boat sequence then? i will skip this for now but it WILL play in the rating, imagine im the parent of the youngster watching this crap and i have to endure it

if it sucks this bad and is this illogical i might just get bored and change the channel, idc my progeny aint gonna be watching this in either case, ill make them watch political debates then interrogate them on what they learned after what but it wasnt actual political debates just random furry youtuber venting with their fursona sprites animated and thats how you make your kids retarded, the kick of this joke is that i aint planning on getting any kids but totally gonna make them watch classics too such as the attack of the killer donuts as soon as they reach 6 so they wont be dumb and probably not getting diabete or w/e in their adulthood

then honey pie saves the kids btw all of them, heavy shit

and they all go back to strawberryland, happily after a big “wow i missed you sm, you are my real friends w/e if you dont look like me i aint speciest guys really!” theyre all vegan too btw so this works for them i havent watched enough strawberry shortcake episodes to know if they ever eat meat but i have doubts seeing how theyre into a very cannibalistic diet which include eating dessert when obviously thats what they are at least half part, this cartoon raises a lot of political questions it may have a deeper value than i first attributed to it

the end: another terrible song plays about horseshit and how tasty it is

thats all folks

so the rating: big 6/10, so you know 5/10 if its a decent kid show where im highly eager to click on the x and get back making jams but nah

surprisingly enough, i only wanted to stop watching half of the episode and not the entirity of it so credits for thats since im an adult and not a kid, imagining kids enjoyed this sweet childish cartooness or w/e now why +1? its because of how many political questions it raised, how it made me think about our society and cakes yknow its more than kids having a conflict with an horse it talks about veganism, specism, handicap, cannibalism, the management of the limited ressources were exploiting and so on yea really makes you think, its subliminal messages to make kids smarter: they watch their dessert-imbecile counterparts doing bs and then get it right irl: good  ah- it also makes it better for you when youre watching this with your kid, you suddenly transcend to another level of spirituality, existential crisis activated or at least reasoning mode or w/e youre willing to name this the point is you arent bored still despite all of this i rated it quite low for such a serious kid cartoon what couldve possibly made me tic? 1) kids are morons and cant understand all of this, not clear enough for the targeted public 2) projection onto the characters/dialogues from the writers of their childhood traumas (the horse play event didnt go unnoticed, karren brown) 3) my little pony ripoff 4) its controversial, our society, especially in 2004 couldnt understand the depth of this shit and finally 5) i got so much ice cream flavoured horseshit all over my desk god help me this is so filthy what a fucking mess i would totally recommand it to anyone who feels like being blown away by the statements made in this work of art 6/10 but really we all know in the future, itll be a 9/10, some ahead-of-its-time-crap

tg, out

[zankivich]

Neighbors: Shawn x Plus Size Reader Chapter 10

a/n: don’t get mad at me. She’s long af. but this was incredibly important for me to write and I wanted to do it justice, and that meant take the time to let this character feel and allow the space to feel pain and to feel defeated. I wanted to show that even the most confident of people can and do struggle under scutiny and that being a confident fat woman isn’t any different. Shit’s hard ya know? Idk I love this a lot. so I hope you love it too? K bye.

*y/n’s pov*

“I don’t know. I don’t like it. I don’t like the lace, I don’t like the length, I don’t like the belt; I don't like anything about it.” You huffed.

Stu nodded. “Baby girl we’ve been at this for hours though. I once saw your boyfriend suck your face because you yawned too cute. I don’t think the dress is going to matter.”

“Ugh, men. You could not be more wrong right now. The dress means everything Stu!”

New Year’s is quite the ordeal. Instead of having it at the apartment it gets switched to a bigger venue in toronto. All of a sudden it’s a lot of industry people and all of Shawn’s family and friends. And it’s beautiful and wonderful, but you can’t help but notice that your part of the guest list is significantly smaller. You invite some friends from the office, and Stu and Bryan of course. At the time, when Shawn had asked, You had said yes with no hesitation, but it hadn’t occurred to you that things were a little more complicated than that. This was the official presentation of you as a couple. Shawn’s performance though pre-recorded, meant buzz, meant there were gonna be a lot of people just looking in your direction all night.

No one still really knew who you were. You and Shawn had never been seen together outside of Toronto and besides the occasional grainy selfie, you were still very much a concept more than a person for a lot of people. The world knew Shawn Mendes was dating someone, they didn’t know that someone was you, and you knew in your heart that this night was going to change all of that.

“You know people are gonna be confused.” You sighed plopping down beside your best friend on one of the couches outside the dressing room.

“Confused about what?”

“Confused about why American Canadian sweetheart Shawn Mendes is dating some fat marketing exec with a baking problem.” You mumbled picking at the material of dress number fifteen.

He sighed. “Is that all you are? Do you think that’s all that matters?”

You groaned in frustration. The problem with being a confident fat woman is they want you to always be a confident fat woman. Even if that’s an expectation that they never have of anyone else. You gotta be a hundred percent always. You were flawed in more ways than one.

“No. Of course not. And I don’t...I don’t care what the world fucking thinks of me. I just want him to be happy and I don’t wanna make his life more difficult. And yea maybe I don’t wanna see the internet rip me to fucking shreds. We know more than anyone how ruthless people can be, Stu.”

“Yea, I know.” He murmured leaning his head against yours. “If the dress needs to matter today, then we can let it matter okay? I just want you to be happy, kiddo.”

“Thank you….. Thank you.”

You go to a different store in between a mini crying session in the dressing room, and shared pretzel bites. There’s a dress that’s all sheer and sparkly rhinestones. It’s black and it’s seethrough and the neckline comes up around the neck almost like a choker. It’s much more adventurous and risque than you feel in that moment so there’s a big hope that it’ll somehow just work itself out.

Back in your apartment however, Shawn sat perched up on your couch playing guitar without a care in the world. You definitely spent more time in Shawn’s apartment, but something about seeing him in your space always made you feel warm inside. And when he put his guitar to the side and pulled you to straddle his lap instead, you simply melted before him. Ugh.

“How was shopping?” He murmured lips pressing staccato, gentle kisses to your neck and shoulder.

You snorted. “I’d say it was the worst experience ever, but every time I go shopping is the worst experience ever so.”

“What happened?”

“It’s nothing. Store’s just aren’t really designed for me. I usually shop online but I wanted this to be special. My mistake.”

He frowned, fingers kneading softly into your back, over your ass, and down to your thighs. God was he annoying and perfect.

“I’m so sorry. Do you want me to make you a new store?” He asked. “Cause I would.”

You grinned reaching to cradle his face in your palms.

“You do a really good job of making me feel like my worries are really dumb. Have I ever told you that?”

“You haven’t. But you also don’t tell me your worries very often. You wanna talk about it?”

You shrugged your shoulders softly, lips jutting out stubborn as you imagined a child probably would.

“Mmm.” You mumbled.

“Mmm?” He smirked mimicking you. “Please? I just wanna help.”

“You didn’t tell them.” You admitted softly.

“Tell who, what?”

“You never told the world that I’m big. And tonight everyone’s gonna know.” You sighed.  “And I don’t care. At least I’m trying not to but I just...they’re not gonna think I’m good enough. I know they aren’t. And they’re gonna be confused and probably disappointed. And I’m just...I don’t know. I don’t know what I am. I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” He breathed tugging your chin down so that your eyes met. “It’s okay. You never have to apologize to me about how you’re feeling.I didn’t think about how public tonight would be. I’m sorry for that. I just want you to be with me, because I love you, and I wouldn’t want to have this night without you. If you don’t feel comfortable going, we don’t have to go.”

You snorted. “Shawn, it’s your party.”

“It’s our party, first of all. And second of all everyone’s showing up for the booze and the food anyway, I doubt they’d notice our absence. I’ll do whatever makes you happy. I told you I don’t want my life to be a burden on yours, y/n.”

“You’re not a burden to me, ever.” You promised. “I’m not skipping either. I don’t let shit like this get to me. I guess it was just on my mind. And I couldn’t help it.”  

His arms snaked around your waist, chin coming to prop on your shoulder. He looked at you with kind and gentle eyes, your heart soaring at the sight. Rude.

“It’s okay. I always want you to tell me what’s on your mind. You know that right?”

You nodded softly nuzzling  your nose against his.

“Can I see your dress though? I wanna know how pretty my baby’s gonna look tonight.”

It gets your mind off of the negative, which was almost definitely his aim.. And instead of going back to playing guitar he wrestles you down to the couch in favor of playing you like his favorite instrument instead. And when his head falls between your thighs, he spends extra time loving the very parts of you you’d found problem with an hour ago. His hands traced lovingly at your stomach, thumbs touching stretch marks, molding to the curve of your skin. Shawn didn’t make you feel beautiful. Instead he seemed to hold a mirror to your very core and ask you to see yourself as you were, as he saw you. He showed you a beauty that had always been there, and only made it more special because you knew he was always willing to help you remember when you forgot. That meant everything to you.

“Can’t wait to kiss you at midnight.” He murmured hands skipping along the waist of your dress. “I’m gonna be the luckiest guy in the room tonight.”

You were standing in front of the mirror back pressed firmly to his chest and you smiled at his reflection.

“You’re too good to me. I don’t deserve it.”

“On the contrary, I think you deserve the world.”

At the door Shawn helps you into the beautiful, sleek trench coach that he got you for Christmas. You help him into the similarly beautiful burberry wool trench coat you got him. You like to think that the two of you look very mature and badass standing side by side. It’s a nice thought.

The venue is full of black and gold balloons. Cheap, cheesy decorations cover every inch of the bar and dance floor. The room is already full of classic New Years energy and there’s barely anyone there yet besides the people still setting up and Shawn's family who somehow made it before even you.

“Babe come see the photo booth!” Shawn murmured excitedly tugging at your fingers until you stumbled towards the booth.

He plopped you onto his lap and quickly smothered your lips in a kiss to stemi any protest you surely would have given him. His hands grabbed at your thighs and he nuzzled your head softly towards the camera.

“Don’t argue with me honey, just take a picture with me.”  He hummed.

Rude.

Suddenly there’s more people there than you think you’ve ever met in your life. Shawn is like the popular guy at school, which is genuinely comical because he’s the dorkiest man you’ve ever met, but everyone wants a piece of him. He spends an hour taking pictures with people you’ve never seen before. Some of them seem like good friends if the way he hugs them and laughs with them is anything to go off of. Women in scantily clad outfits grip him a tiny bit longer than necessary, or smile in a way that seems to push their bodies closer towards his. You don’t find yourself nearly as jealous as you did at the bar on halloween. Something about knowing you’re together and knowing where you both stand allows you to be a little bit more of a grownup. He loves you and you know that and so there isn’t any reason to be jealous. Especially not when he’s drunk and soft and affectionate and all of that gets directly thrown at you and no one else.

You were standing at the bar nursing this very delightful long island when a hundred and sixty pounds of Canadian attached itself to your back.

“Babe!” Shawn snickered directly into your ear. “Baby, I missed you so much.”

Stu had a very amused expression on his face that was full of sass and was very annoying.

“I just saw you thirty minutes ago. What the hell did you drink since then?”

“Brian wanted to do a round of shots. I did three.” He giggled.

Jesus.

“Wonderful. Remind me to get Brian to carry you to bed later.”

“I’d much rather you carry me to bed. But that’s beyond the point. I’m ready to dance with you now.”

This gave you pause. You turned to your boyfriend, tugging his arms from around your neck and took his face carefully in your hands.

“This is important, Shawn. Listen to me. You may have been roofied.”

He snorted. “I wasn’t roofied. I just...I know tonight means a lot to you, and I know it’s scary being here with all these people and I wanna--I wanna even the playing field. I wanna dance with you.”

It is maybe the sweetest thing that anyone has ever offered you in your life. So much so that you’re sort of at a lost for words. You’d never really thought about dancing with Shawn. It wasn’t something he was interested in and that was okay. Stu was a total slut on the dance floor and dancing the night away with him was often the best nights of your life. But, here he was, this annoyingly perfect man offering to do what you wanted to do for literally no other reason in the world than to make you happy?

“What factory did they make you in?” You mumbled fingers reaching up to skim his chin.

He only smiled wider. “Maybe I was made just for you. Now come show me how to dance.”

He stumbles on the edge of the last step to the dance floor and it occurs to you that perhaps there’s a reason Shawn doesn’t dance. And maybe even on top of that, adding alcohol is not going to make things go any better . . .

You’re right. Holy shit he was awful. Some people dance like they have two left feet. Shawn on the other hand was dancing like he had a third foot that had somehow got added. But he’s drunk and he’s happy and he’s just trying to make you smile so literally none of it matters. Because when he notices that a six foot tall man doing the cabbage patch dance bring tears of joy to your eyes, he only does it longer. Because it makes you happy. Because he makes you happy. And he’s not thinking about all the people in the room or what they might think of him because this, this thing that’s happening right now is just between the two of you. And that feels really fucking special.

“Hey!” You shout over the music pulling him into your arms to stop the dancing. “I love you.”

“I love you too!” He beamed. “Only wanna make you happy.”

He’s sweaty and his curls are flopped in his eyes and his cheeks are so red and so soft and you’re so gone on him. How are you this gone on him?

“You do.” You assure him putting your head playfully against his. “Jesus, you do.”

“Will you do something that’ll make me happy?”

He eyed your mouth and without even mentally registered you worked to wet your lips.

“Of course.”

“Will you come drink with me? Need you to get on my level right now.”

Your hands mapped playfully at his broad chest as he seemed to rock you both back and forth on the dance floor as opposed to any sort of synchronized movement.

“How come?”

“Because I wanna have fun tonight. I want to have fun with you tonight. Please?”

Well when you put it like that?

“Tequila?” You grinned.

“Tequilla!”

What’s the worst that can happen?

*Three hours later*

“MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME--”

“AND I!”

“I MUST CONFESS I STILL BELIEVE--”

“STILL BELIEVE!”

“WHEN YOU’RE NOT WITH MY I LOSE MY MIND”

“GIVE ME A SIIIIIIIIIIIIIGN! HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!”

You slapped your boyfriend’s ass in front of his entire family and all of his friends. His very rich, powerful friends.  Your boyfriend also very much bent over to receive the slap that you were administering. Tequila, friends.

“Babe, hear me out… I think we should go on tour together! We sound incredible.”

“Holy shit you’re right!”

You both bust out laughing because it’s clear that you sounded absolutely terrible. But, you’re drunk and happy and in love, so who gives a fuck? After karaoke time, you wind up back on the dance floor. Shawn is completely in his element, the big, goofy man you’d fallen for, and it’s so much fun. You’re not thinking about any one around you. Not the beautiful women, or the music executives, or the snapchat stories. It’s just the two of you, and some friends, and music. The way it should be.

It’s barely eleven o’clock when you’re both collapsed in one of the booths back away from all the commotion. Tequila really was a hell of a liquid, and probably should be kept far far away from people. It really made you do ridiculous things. Like straddle, your more than happy boyfriend in the middle of a public ass party. He grinned dopely at you and held you against him, his large hands grabbing wonderfully at your ass. What a shit show.

“Hey,” He sighed head flopping against your shoulder. “Thank you so much for coming with me tonight. I’m having so much fun.”

You giggled and kissed his forehead.

“Yea?”

“Yea….Look I--I always care what people think about me, and I always worry about everything around me but...when I’m with you I don’t care about any of that. So, I don’t care if I look dumb, just as long as I’m with you.”

“Well you don’t look dumb. You look happy. It’s a really good look for you. I just want you to be happy.”

“Then stay with me.” He mumbled pulling you even closer. “Stay.”

“Mkay.”

It wasn’t midnight yet, but you and Shawn worked on some fireworks of your own. It felt right to sit there, plum on his lap with his hands drawing circles into your back, or holding your face preciously in his hands to kiss you better. It felt less sloppily dunk, and more loving, more passionate. Like just being together was nourishing for the both of you. Like there was no reason to be partying when you could just be together instead.

When the clock strikes midnight you’re actually just tucked away in a corner, completely wrapped up in one another. If it’s any indication of how the new year will be, you can’t help but think maybe things will be alright after all.

*Shawn’s point of view*

The first day of the new year finds her in his bed and it’s everything he’s ever wanted. They’re less hungover than the first night they met, no vomiting to be had, so he can’t help but plaster himself against her body. She’s still naked from when they’d stumbled inside, drunk and hungry for each other. There’s a bloom of blues and purples on the side of her left breast and down the side of her stomach where he’d hadn’t been able to get enough. His mouth touches lightly at the skin watching her slowly wake up for him.

She hummed softly legs falling open for him to slide between. The skin of her stomach and thighs is so soft and smooth, his spine straightens when he slides against her.  She’s just staring at him with sleep and lust filled eyes. How is he already hard?

“Morning.” She whispered a smile touching her face.

“Happy new year.”

Her fingers grace his hip before wrapping firmly around his hard on, and it feels just as good as it always does.

“Hmmm, again?”

“Sorry.” He whined hips bucking into her hand. “I just can’t get enough of you. I’m not usually like this, I swear.”

“Are you apologizing for wanting to have sex with me?”

“No? Yes? Maybe? I cannot think straight when my dick is in your hand, woman.”

“Yea? Would putting it in my mouth help at all?”

“I don’t know, but I think we should definitely give it a try!”

She gives him head in a way he’s never had before. For something she claims not to love, it is truly magical the way she moves her lips. Her mouth is warm and wet and she sucks him firm and sloppy. And every now and again, she’ll touch a spot right beneath his balls that without fail always makes him nearly blow his load. It’s so rude. And so fucking good.

When she slides off with a squelching plop and peers up at him with spit glistened lips, his brain completely melts.

“I’m wet as hell right now. Get in me.”

He nearly tumbles out of the bed reaching for the condoms in the bedside table. It would’ve been almost embarrassing if not for the immediate dread that descends upon him when there is nothing in his bed side table but an empty box. Fuckin tequlia.

“Goddammit!”

Her legs came up to wrap around his hips and her tongue is tracing his nipple like she’s painting a fucking work of art and WHY ARE THERE NO CONDOMS?

“What’s wrong baby?

He groaned tossing the box to the other side of the bed and gripping firm at one of her thighs around him.

“We’re out of condoms.”

She sucks a mark into his left pec, teeth grazing his nipple again, as if he did not just tell her the worst news in the whole wide world.

“Baby, did you hear me?”

“Mhm. Let’s just do it without one.”

His eyes widened quickly leaning his body above her to see her face better.

She giggled. “I love it when you plank on top of me.”

“I’m sorry, did you just suggest we have sex without a condom? You? The sex health queen? You once yelled about contraception to a bunch of random people in the club.”

“Trust me they needed it. And whenever I’m with new partners I always use condoms. Always. However, I’m on the pill too, and at this point I think I know you don’t have anything, so...why not?”

“I...I’ve never done it without one before.”

“I hear it’s pretty great. But we might not ever know as my vagina gets a little dryer every second we sit here talking about it.”

He bit his lip, hips dipping to skim against hers.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m so sure,” She hummed. “Put it in me.”

His friends had told him stories. They were dumbass stories and he’d never quite believed them. Something about the pull out method and the fact that without the condom it was supposed to be this otherworldly experience. He thought they were just idiots who were too lazy and stupid to put a condom on. Honestly he’d probably still stand by that rational but… the moment he slips inside of her is maybe the greatest physical pleasure he’s ever known. And he’s got no fucking clue how to handle it.

“Holy fuck, y/n.” He whimpered face digging desperately into her neck. “It feels so good.”

She giggled, just simply giggled, but the way it moved her body had him clenching up and grabbing roughly at her hips.

“W--Wait don’t move! Goddamn.”

“Are you close right now?”

“Y/n...I have never been this close in my life.”

She laughs again and without any conscious understanding he covers her mouth with his hand.

“Baby you can’t laugh, I’m gonna cum.”

Her eyes widen and she clenches down on him and he’s pretty much done for then.

“I’m sorry!” She sighed as his hips stutter again. “I didn’t know you covering my mouth would get me going, although that is definitely something we should explore at some point.”

He clenched the blankets in his fist and tried to take deep breaths, but even the way she was blinking at him was hard to watch. He felt like a teenaged boy all over again, completely not in control of his own body. It was all her, and her glorious, magnificent body’s fault.

“Look it’s okay. Just take care of yourself right now. I can tell you need it. We can worry about me later.” She hummed.

He snorted. As fucking if.

His girlfriend was a woman of many needs. And as sweet as it was to think she might grant him an orgasm, he knew better than to ever not reciprocate. So, he did only what he could. He attempted to make her have a mind shattering orgasm in five minutes or less.

He gripped so tight at her hips that there were bound to be marks when he was done, hips shuffling around in small instances trying to locate her g-spot much earlier than he usually would. Similarly, her fingers held roughly at his ass guiding him where she needed him to go and singing his praises when he did. Usually their love making was a little gentler. He was really into passion and holding each other close and orgasms that had them crying out into each other’s mouths. This. This was different.

Even in a state that felt like he was constantly one thrust away from losing it, he still was so her centered. It wasn’t about him getting to “finally”  cum. It was about how good he could make her feel. And something about the time crunch meant he was more focused on her than ever. He just wanted her to feel the way that she made him feel.

When he finds that spot that has her toes curling against the back of his thighs, he grits his teeth and leans up to grab the headboard as he slams into her in a way he’s never done before.

“Holy fuck!” She gasped legs sprawling open in need. “Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop!”

He bit his lip in concentration, slotting his leg over her thigh for leverage and pushing deeper into her body. A shiver racked her entire being and it was the sexiest fucking thing he’d ever seen. Her skin was flushed, lips swollen and wet, breasts bouncing with every slap of his hips against hers. He’d never wanted someone so much in his whole life.

She grabs at his ass again and lets out the most sinful sound when he rubs that spot inside of her that causes her back to arch out, and once again his whole fucking world is rocked.

“You’ve gotta cum for me.”  He grunted. “I need to see this pretty pussy cum; babe, please.”

“Close. Really fucking close. Make me cum!”

Like that’s not what he’d been trying to do the whole goddamn time.

There’s a moment where he releases the headboard and grabs at her ass instead, flesh spilling from his palms as he gives her everything that he has. There’s a noticeable difference. Her moans get higher and more fragmented. She breathes harder and faster. And then her eyes roll back in her head and she stops breathing all together as she squirts all over his dick and her thighs. And try as he might, which he didn’t, there was absolutely nothing he could do at the sight of that but pull out of her just as he came his fucking brains out. He collapsed beside her each of them limp, sweaty, and covered in each other’s bodily fluids.

For a while they just pant and stare at ceiling. He wonders if she’s as fucking mind blown as he is. He wonders if she’s ever squirted for anyone else before, because she’d certainly never done it for him. He also sort of wonders how soon before she’ll let him have a crack at it again, because holy shit.

“Yo….what the fuck was that?” She giggled finally breaking him out of his own thoughts.

He peers over at her and she’s smiling, and just like that he wants to cuddle her into the mattress and never let go. How?

“Did you….was that…?”

She bit her lip. “You made me squirt. No one’s ever done that before.”

“Yea?” He murmured trying not to show just how happy that made him.

“It didn’t like...you’re not grossed out by it are you? Cause that’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt in my life.”

His eyes widened and he quickly shook his head at her.

“No. No, I’m not grossed out at all, babe. All I’ve been thinking about since you did it is how much I wanna make you do it again and again and again.”

She whined. “That’s so fucking hot. Get away from me.”

God he loved her.

When she eventually peels herself off the sheets and scratches at her sex-crazed hair, the bed almost feels emptier at the prospect that she might leave. There’s a small part of him that wants to pull her back, to be whiny and needy and desperate, maybe it’s bigger than he even wants to admit. But, he let’s her leave mostly because he still hadn’t regained all of the function in his body yet.

“I’m gonna make breakfast. You want?” She asked pulling an oversized sweater over her body when the fluids have been wiped away.

He nodded smiling softly. “Will you make those cinnamon swirl pancakes?”

She rolled her eyes at him. “You always want the complicated shit. I’ll make you pancakes if you wash my hair for me in the shower.”

“How sweet of you to think I wouldn’t want to wash your hair anyway, but deal.”

She walked to the kitchen, her thighs--and the delightful little limp in her step--still a beautiful reminder of what they’d done just moments before. As soon as he regained feeling in his legs, he was going to go kiss that girl silly.

He was lying there still in eternal bliss when her scream came from the kitchen. And he tumbled out of bed yanking on boxers and grabbing the nearest weapon he could--one of his AMA awards--because surely someone was trying to break into his apartment with a scream like that. He slid into the kitchen on socked feet only to find his girlfriend staring at the TV with her hands over her mouth.

“Jesus, you almost gave me a heart attack!” He groaned setting his award down. “What is going on?”

She simply points at the screen as if that will tell him everything. And unfortunately it sort of does.

“Shawn Mendes and his new boo were seen very snuggled up at the popstar’s New Year’s Eve party. An eyewitness from the party says they were all over each other. And from the looks of these pictures, they definitely were!”

It’s a super intimate moment of them in the corner. She’s straddling his lap and he’s grabbing her ass in a way that has all of his media training running down the drain. E! News is doing their very best job in making sure their audience can see as much detail as possible. The zoom ins, the continue flash of picture after picture. Who ever had snapped the shots had obviously taken them with the intent to sell, because why are there so many fucking shots of one moment of the entire night?

There’s video of it. Of them kissing. Of her apparently groping him in a not so friendly manner. It’s a PR nightmare for sure. But then it only gets worse.

“Fans were incredibly surprised to find out teen heartthrob Mendes was dating someone not famous, and some were even further confused by the woman’s appearance.”

And then it starts. And they start rolling tweets of these “fan” accounts saying the most awful shit. It’s like her worst nightmare right there in front of her and it’s all his fucking fault because every account has some aspect of him attached to it. Whether it’s his face as their profile picture, or his name in some random order in their twitter handle, it all feels like him. Like he might as well be standing in front of her yelling these terrible things at her.

When Shawn start dating fat girls tho?

I’m so confused???????? Shawn deserves better!

Damn y’all Shawn really out here dating anyone. Maybe us ugly girls got a shot after all?

He can’t turn the fucking tv off fast enough. But she’s just standing there, frozen, like it’s still on. Like she can hear what every piece of shit on the internet had ever said about her. And honestly he knows the feeling. The first two or three years of his career had been hell on his self-esteem, if he’d ever really built one up at all. Every time someone called him a girl, or made fun of his braces, of his hair, or his acne, or his body. The shit ran deep. It cut deep. But, he signed up for that. She didn’t. And that was the difference.

He wraps his arms around her when the first teardrop falls from her eye to her lip. His throat feels like it’s full of cotton and he gulps desperately as her pain finds its way to his heart. She’s shaking. And she seems smaller than he’s ever seen her. Like she’s caving in on herself. And why wouldn’t she? It didn’t matter how strong you were, or how confident you were about yourself. When all of these strangers on the internet are telling you something completely different? It’s only a matter of time before that seeps into your conscious.

“I’m so sorry.” he whispered squeezing her tightly. “Please don’t cry, baby? Please?”

He tried to pull her face into his hands, but she just shook her head at him. She was in pain. And it was all his fault.

“I love you so much. That was all bullshit, you don’t need to listen to them. Just listen to me, right now. Please?” He chanted steadily. “I love you. You are so incredibly beautiful to me. And you know that. You know how beautiful you are period. You’re a complete and total badass!”

Her nose was red, and her whole face seemed to be warming by the minute. He was prepared to go all night. To rattle off every single thing in this world that he loved about her, and there were many. But then, out of nowhere she just...stopped. She bit her lip and took a deep breath, and the tears might as well have soaked into her skin. All of that emotion. Gone. It was maybe the most terrifying thing he’d ever seen her do.

“It’s fine.” She whispered, voice hoarse. “I uh...I need to go home for a little bit, okay? I just--I’ll make your pancakes later, I promise.”

“Y/n,” He mumbled reaching for her as she pulled away from him.

She smiled. It didn’t reach her eyes. Hell, it barely reached her lips. it looked more like a grimace.

“It’s fine. Shawn, honest.”

“Why would you lie to me right now? Just let me help. Don’t close yourself off from me because of this.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just need to go home for a little while.”

She stopped making eye contact, started gathering her stuff instead. And his heart breaks every time she picks a piece of herself up and tucks it a way. There’s a very scared, insecure part of his mind that wonders if she’ll ever come back. He was so far outside of his element and outside of his knowledge base, that he genuinely had no idea what to do. He didn’t know how to comfort her, he didn’t know what to say to make any of it better. And for that reason, he let her go, let her leave. No matter how much his body itched to hold her close.

He walked her to the door, his chest tightening with every step she put between them, and he tried one last time to get through to her.

“Will you please just...call me if I can help? If I can do anything. I--I can’t even begin to--I’m so sorry, y/n.”

She reached out to cup his cheek in her palm and he immediately fell into the warmth of her touch, gripped desperately at her wrist like it might somehow stop her from leaving him.

“It’s not your fault.” She whispered.

He bit his lip feeling the tears that were brimming angrily at the edge of his eyes.

“How come every time you tell me it’s not my fault, it feels like it is?” He chuckled dryly.

She doesn’t answer.

“I’ll talk to you later.”

“Can I at least hug you goodbye?”

She paused. “I don’t...I don’t really wanna be touched right now. If that’s okay?”

He’s never wanted to cry so much in his life.

“Y--Yea. No, of course. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

And then she’s gone and it’s like she took the sun, and the moon, and her touch, and everything else good with her too.

****

@shawnmendes: friendly reminder that if you’re saying terrible things about my loved ones, I don’t consider you a fan. At all.

His phone and email had been going off all morning, but he figures if he never leaves the gym, he never really has to answer them. His girlfriend hadn’t answered a single text in hours. If he wasn’t getting answers, neither was Andrew. The E! News story had gone somewhat viral and it was definitely a thing now. She was hurting, and despite her explicitly telling him it wasn’t his fault, he hadn’t been able to rid the image of her face crumpling in the kitchen from his mind. He pushed the the incline on the treadmill up another level and adjusted his speed to make it harder, trying to fill his head with literally anything else but her suffering. He’d been down in the gym for two and a half hours and nothing was working. He just needed her.

His phone lit up and buzzed for the umpeenth time that morning only this time it was one of two people he’d actually answer for. He let the treadmill come to a grinding halt and picked the phone in his hand.

“Hey mum,” he panted. “Sorry! I’m at the gym.”

“Oh. Sorry to bother you, do you want me to call back later?”

“No. I uh--I’ve maybe overdone it a little bit today. I could use your voice in my head.”

The gym was completely empty so he didn’t feel so bad sliding himself down against one of the mirrored walls to talk to the only person who might be able to make it better somehow.

“Yea...Andrew called us today. Said he hasn’t been able to get a hold of you.”

He sighed. “Did he tell you why?”

“He did. How is she doing?”

The fact that she asked about his girlfriend made his mangled heart a little less damaged. His mum was just incredible in that way.

He pulled a little desperately at his sweaty hair and knew that he probably looked as defeated at he felt.

“She...I’ve never seen her look like that mum. She’s been so scared this whole time that people were gonna judge her, or think that we shouldn’t be together. And I kept spouting her this idealistic bullshit that no one would care, that it wouldn’t matter. It’s all my fault.” He muttered pinching his eyes shut as the tears came again.

“Oh Shawn you can’t take all that weight onto yourself, sweetheart. You only have power over yourself and over your actions. You don’t dictate how the world responds. It’s not your fault.”

He sniffled angrily. “But if I wasn’t who I was, she never would’ve looked like that. She never would’ve cried like that. I just wanna make her happy, but these people only want to hurt her because of me . . . Mum she wouldn’t even let me hug her this morning.”

His chin trembles a little bit and so he hides his face in his arm despite the fact that no one else is around.

“You and I both know that’s not what that was about.” She hummed softly. “Now listen to me. This morning was probably very hard for her, just as I imagine it was for you. And i think if you wanna be there for her right now, you’re gonna have to forgive yourself for whatever it is you think you did wrong. That pain that you’re feeling in this moment? The love that you have? That’s good, Shawn; that’s beautiful. Focus on that, not on what some box on the internet with your face attached said. That’s not you. The person with their heart on their sleeve is you.”

His mum was his rock. She had been his entire life, and a moment like that just solidified it. Sometimes when he’d been anxious when he was first starting out, she would just call him and talk to him until he could breathe normally again. And this felt like that. This felt like he was a little kid again just waiting for his parent to make it all okay again. The magical thing was that she actually did.

“She left this morning.” He murmured when he could find it within himself. “And I’ve wanted to go to her ever since. But I don’t...I don’t wanna make things worse than they already are.”

“I get that. Do you think she really wants the space?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I think I know every thought she’s ever had. Other times I think I’ve never known anything in my whole life.” He admits.

“Why don’t you go to her. Show that you’re there if she needs it. She’ll tell you what she wants. All you can do is respect that. I’ll tell Andrew to maybe take it easy on you today okay?”

“Okay.”

“In the meantime, I think he would appreciate it if you stepped away from social media until your head is clear.”

He snorted. Andrew was lucky the initial draft of him quoting a Brendon Urie tweet that had in so many words told everyone who was rude to his loved ones to fuck off, hadn’t made the cut.

“Yea I’ll make sure to do that. . . Thanks mum. I love you.” He breathed.

“I love you too darling. Come visit us when this all gets cleared up, eh?”

“We will.”

It’s a long trek back to his apartment. There was a strain in his thigh, that told him he’d over done it. He almost went straight to her door only to catch a whiff of himself and quickly steered his way back to his apartment. The washing is rushed and half hazard. All he wanted was to get back to her. To be there with her. Nothing else really mattered in that moment. Not the label. Not Andrew. Not twitter. And for maybe the first time in his whole entire career, not even the fans. He was really experiencing tunnel vision, and that meant something incredibly important to him, because never had he ever felt that way before. That she was everything. But, she was everything.

When he gets to her door, he freezes. Despite the soothing voice of his mother, there’s still so much uncertainty that it’s startling. He didn’t know what he would do if she asked him to go away. It had only been maybe four hours, but it had felt like days. Every moment that she was hurting and he wasn’t doing anything about it felt like his own personal failure. So he just had to try to give her everything that he could. She deserved that much of him.

He knocked hesitantly and waited with bated breath. It’s perhaps the longest wait of his life.

When the door opens, his eyes do their best to take in her every atom. Her eyes are still red. She’d been crying within the last hour at least. She’s wearing a hoodie he bought her when he’d left Toronto for too long to not bring a gift back, back when they still had zero clue what they were to each other. It’s fluffy and white and the sleeves of it seem to be drenched in tears if the malformations in the fabric are anything to go off of. The lights inside her apartment are off. She still smells like lavender and lime from the night before. She sorts of looks like hell, but even then hell had never looked so good. His whole body ached to move forward, to grab and hold and touch, but he remembered the last thing she said to him and knew that it wasn’t his place at that moment

“Hi.” she mumbled hoarsely. “You made it five whole hours.”

He twisted anxiously at the ring on his finger.

“I’ve been in the gym the whole time. My legs hurt very much.”

Her eyes do that thing where they sort of brighten at any sign of danger. Her eyes look him over for any sign that he might be hurt and he almost wants to laugh, or cry, because who the hell cares about him right now?

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“Not really. Are you?”

“No.”

“Can I come in? I don’t need to be in the same room as you, if that’s not what you want right now. You don’t have to say a word to me at all I just….I just wanna be here. With you. Please?”

Her lip started to tremble and so she bit anxiously at it. She twisted at the door knob and blinked rapidly as her eyes welled up all over.

“Remember when I said I didn’t want to be touched?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

He doesn’t know how to quite describe the look on her face. It was like a crumpling. Like the skin of her face just caved and folded in on her self revealing this profound sadness that she’d been trying to lock away from him, from maybe herself. His heart broke like a scab bursting to let all of the pain and the ugly out again. She brought her hands up to cover her face and mumbled out through her sobs:

“Will you just hold me please?”

It’s the fastest he’s ever moved in his life, scooping her up in his arms that way. He exhaled this long, heady breath just feeling like he was sinking under the weight of her pain. She cried into his shoulder for a long while, so he cradled her there against his chest and just breathed. And he breathed and he breathed as if it might help anything, like it might get her to calm down.

When her sobs turned to hiccups he steered her gently in the direction of her bedroom pushing her softly beneath the covers. She liked to have as many blankets as humanly possible, and usually it had him sweating in the middle of the night, but for now there was no question. She stared at him with wide eyes when he didn’t immediately crawl in after her, so he reached for her hand and squeezed firmly.

“I’m just turning the aromatherapy on okay? I’ll be right back.”

It’s a little water diffuser that sits on top of her dresser. He’d gotten it for her for Christmas, when her old one broke. Eucalyptus quickly filled the air as he made his way back to her. They often times had tried to get as close as two humans physically could. Shawn liked to think they were sappy in that way, but today is a whole new level. He’s never held her so close. Never failed to see where his legs ended and hers began. Never intertwined their fingertips with such ferocity. But she needs him. And so he’s there. It’s just that simple.

“Will you do me a favor?”

He peered down at her, big brown eyes doing him in immediately.

“Anything.”

“Will you just sort of….smother me?”

“I’m sorry? N--No. No I am not going to smother you. I would never do anything to hurt you, ever.”

She snorted. “Not in a harmful, with a pillow kind of way, Shawn. Jesus! I meant more like in a  put all of your body weight on top of me until I feel like I’m rooted to this earth again, kind of smothering.”

They’d had conversations before. Usually when they were high. She would tell him about this concept of floating. It was a defense mechanism apparently. The body experiences trauma and so it sort of leaves itself. It shuts down to protect the brain, so that you don’t remember. She’d experienced that sometimes in her life, but she never really knew how to come out of it. Her body sometimes didn’t want to. So, when she asks him to help root her, he gets it immediately. And he feels like an ass for making it seem weird, or like something he shouldn’t have to do. Of course he’d root her to the bed, if that’s what she needed.

“Oh. Oh, of course. Yea just...just tell me if I’m doing it right okay?”

She nodded moving slowly to her back and parting her legs for him to slide between. He was nervous that his long awkward limbs would squish her. And he kept trying to find ways to settle against her without hurting her. Eventually she must’ve gotten tired of his bullshit, because she tugged at his shirt until he lost balance and toppled on top of her. Before he could even find it within himself to be terrified, she let out her first giggle since that morning.

“See that’s all I wanted.”

*five hours later*

“I wanna shower.”

It’s the first thing she’s said in hours and it startles him a little bit, but there’s no way in hell he’s ever gonna tell her no.

It surprised him that she asked him to follow, asked if he’d still wash her hair for her. She’s still quiet throughout most of the process, but it’s like she’s waking up, slowly.

The next time she speaks is when she’s sitting on her bed brushing through her hair to detangle the strands.

“I wanna get a piercing I think.”

He’d just pulled on his underwear, but quickly plopped down beside her on the bed.

“A piercing?”

“Yea. Would you go with me?”

“Of course I would. When do you wanna go?”

“Now. And can we get food afterwards?”

He peered at her for a second trying to understand exactly what was happening. Was it a coping mechanism? Was it her way of saying fuck you to everyone? Was she covering her emotions up again? He didn’t know, and he couldn’t help but remember his mum telling him that all he could do was be there for her if she needed and wanted it.

“Can I?” He murmured pulling her brush gently from her fingers and resuming in detangling the strands. “I wanna understand better about what’s going on here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just...You didn’t talk for hours, babe. Which is fine. I want you to do whatever you need right now, but then all of a sudden you’re up and moving and the first thing you wanna do is get a piercing? I feel like I’m missing a piece of the puzzle here. I just want to understand.”

Her fingers reached for the necklace at the base of her throat, and it made his heart feel warm to see the swallow there.

“I just need to not think for a while. And I thought this might be a way to do that.” She whispered. “I didn’t meant to scare you.”

“I’m not scared. I just want to be there for you. If you want to get a piercing, let’s go get a piercing.”

She smiled shyly and and tucked her head against his. “And food?”

“And food.”

So they do. He takes her to some random shop in Toronto. She spends a long time looking at different studs and different rings. She points them out and asks him what he thinks and even if they all sort of look similar to him he tries to find the differences that might make her happy. She picks out this pretty rose gold flower and this tiny hoop. Suddenly she’s getting her nose pierced and a forward helix on her ear. It’s kind of badass.

“Are you gonna get one?” She asked as they waited for a worker to become available.

His eyes widened. “Should I?”

“Why shouldn’t you?”

“I don’t know...What would I get?”

“Hmm…”

And that’s how he ended up getting a piercing to make his girlfriend less sad.

“How does it look?” She asked wiggling her nose at him.

He grinned and ran his thumb gently along the bridge of her nose. They’d watched a Star is Born recently, and he kind of wanted to run his finger along her nose ever since. She closed her eyes and scrunched her nose and then whined when it hurt to do so. His heart fucking soared.

“You look adorable.” He murmured taking her face in his hands. “So pretty.”

She brought her hands up to cover his and smiled shyly at the ground.

“You sure you’re not just saying that?”

He shook his head. “I’ve never meant anything more in my life.”

“Mkay….Now it’s your turn!”

It hurts like a bitch. She grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers, and he assured her he’d be fine, but like….fuck.

The worker goes to get them cleaning solution and she runs her finger gently along the length of his ear where the helix now sticks out.

“I’m gonna be completely and totally honest with you right now. This is really getting me going.”

He chuckled hand resting on her hip. “Really?”

“Like...really, really. You could totally pick me up at a bar right now.”

“Are you insinuating that before this piercing I couldn’t have picked you up? You’re literally my girlfriend.”

She shrugged. “Yea, but like before the piercing who knows if you would’ve had the guts to take me. And now it’s like...damn daddy. You know?”

“No. No I don’t know. But I have a feeling you and my fans would get along much better than you think.” He snorted.

Shit. It didn’t even hit him that what he was saying was wrong until her face dimmed again.

“Hey, I’m sorry. Babe, look at me; I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think. I need to think more.”

She was still wearing the sweater he bought her and pulled gently at the sleeves till they covered her hands. She shrugged gently and played with the fabric.

“No biggie. What am I supposed to ask you to never bring them up again, just because they think I’m some hideous, fat slob. They’re at least a third of the way right.”

The worker comes back before he can try to dissect what she just said there, and his phone is ringing, because the world hates him.

“It’s Andrew. I’ve been ignoring him all day.”

“Go, take it. I’ll finish up here.” She assured him.

He reached into his wallet and handed the woman his card, squeezing softly at his girlfriend’s hand when she protested about him paying. Suddenly his phone call was a little more important.

“Hey.” He breathed stepping outside into the cold air. “I’m sorry I went ghost. I just...It got bad.”

“Yea, I talked to Karen. She kind of filled me in. How’s she holding up?”

He looked back through the window of the shop and he racked his brain for a way to explain it.

“I--I think we’ll be okay. I don’t know, her coping mechanisms are much different than mine. She secludes where I just wanna talk about everything. So I’m just trying to understand. And trying to figure out how this isn’t my fault, I think.”

“Shawn--”

“I don’t really wanna discuss it right now. If that’s okay?” He mumbled.

Andrew laughed softly. “Kinda contradicts what you just said, now doesn’t it?”

“Yea. Yea, I guess maybe she’s rubbing off on me a little. But like...this isn’t about me, Andrew. It’s about her. And she’s hurting right now. So, it feels like I should be doing everything in my power to make sure that’s not the case anymore, ya know?”

“I understand. We can be okay with that. Do you want me to update you on what your schedule looks like in the next couple of weeks though?”

“Sure.”

She comes outside while Andrew is speaking and wraps her arms around him. He runs his fingers along the bridge of her nose again, and she smiles.

“I have you back in California next week to begin tour rehearsals and Grammy rehearsals.”

“Next week as in when?”

“As in Monday, bud.”

He looks into her eyes and shakes his head.

“Can we push it back?”

Andrew sighed. “Shawn. Grammys are really important here. Miley was prepared to begin on Monday.”

“I will call Miley and personally apologize. I’ll send some flowers or something. Please, push it back, Andrew.”

“What are you doing?” She whispered eyebrows hitching upward.

“I can try to get you there Friday, but that is the latest I can do. You have to be in California.”

He smiled at her and kissed her forehead, but didn’t answer.

“Friday. I can be there by Friday. Thank you. How long am I in California?”

There are fittings to be had. Photoshoots. Tour meetings. Sound checks. Studio sessions. Meetings with the label. Meetings with Andrew. Meetings with the merch people. Meetings with his stylist for tour outfits. And somehow he was gonna have to to make it all happen. It was just different now. She was different.

He made a promise to talk to Andrew later before quickly getting off the phone. He wrapped his arms tightly around her nuzzling their heads together.

“So, dinner? I guess we kind of missed breakfast and lunch.”

“Don’t do that. What did you just do right now?”

He shrugged. “I chose you.”

“What does that mean?”

“I decided that I wanted to prioritize our relationship over everything else. I decided that you mean more than the meetings or the flights, or the endorsements. You come first.”

She bit her lip. “Shawn you don’t need to do that for me. I know I lost my cool today, but I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.”

“It’s not just  for you, honey. I just...I’m just doing what my heart is telling me is right. And my heart is telling me that I’m supposed to be here, right now. Not California. Not in some rehearsal room. Not in a fancy music exec’s office. But with you. So let’s get some dinner, okay? And try to salvage what is left of this day.”

She looks up at him with inquisitive eyes like she’s trying to find a hidden meaning somewhere. But there isn’t one to be had. He simply loved her. That was all. It couldn’t get more honest than that.

“I don’t ever want to get in the way.” She murmured squeezing the fabric of his shirt between her fingers. “I want music to always be what you need it to be, Shawn. I--I’m just learning. I’m trying to mold myself to this life that you have here. And it is...really fucking hard if I’m being honest. And I get why. I knew going into this, that what I am might not make sense for you.”

“Don’t say that. You make all the sense in the world.” He told her fiercely. “I love you. That’s enough, isn’t it?”

She smiled sadly. “I think so. I want it to be so. But, I say all of that to say that...I wanna like, be a part of your life. And so I’ll figure out how to adjust. Just, please be patient with me. You don’t need to change your life for me.”

He let his fingers come up to skim along the length of her neck before he gripped softly at her cheek. Her hand came up to rest over his and all he wanted was to kiss her until the sun came up.

“I’ll try to keep that in mind. Just as long as you keep in my mind that I’ve never met anyone more deserving of changing life around for.”

“Okay.” She mumbled, the corners of her mouth dipping slightly up.

He smiled. “We should probably stop somewhere and get condoms too, because as beautiful as this morning was I’d like to last more than ten seconds with you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Awww you lasted at least twenty, babe.”

Funny.

Taglist: @kitykatnumber @lou-and-me​ @ourlittleshawnie @mutuallynotmutual @wanderingmendes @peacedolantwins2 @chels-nyc @@illloveyouforever1​ @justbeingoceana @grittyisathot @hayyitsfayy​ @claredolphinbear24​  @september-lace @grittyathot @literallyshawn @mchutchmendes

[raspberryparker]

needy!rich kid!tom would def fuck his girl when she has a face mask on (imagine it being in a dorm omg)

IM ! A ! SLUT ! FOR ! NEEDY ! BOYS ! also this one is more like a concept than like an actual blurb but it’s okay...

celebration sleepover/blurb weekend!

consider: you’re in college trynna get that degree ya know but admittedly it’s not the best college or university you could have attended. nothing like your boyfriend’s but people shouldn’t really get you started on that.

and because he’s such a privileged little rich boy, he barely gets into any trouble when he skips class to come see you. and he does it a lot. because he can’t get enough of you and obviously you love it but he should also really focus on his schoolwork. his parents aren’t gonna be very happy to hear he never shows up to class.

but anyway.

every time you hear the obnoxious engine of his bugatti through the open window of your dorm, you roll your eyes as you lean to look through the glass and watch him pull it into the parking. you don’t even have to look at your phone to know when he’s there, already pressing the little buzzer next to your light switch to let him into the building. 

and when he comes up to your room, he’s all over you.

all “i missed you, baby,” and “wanted to see you so bad this week.”

and you’re like, “tom shut up i saw you two days ago because you skipped your economics lecture you idiot.”

before he got there you were in the middle of studying for an upcoming midterm, and knowing how stressed you were about it, you were preparing in advance for how badly you knew your skin would be sabotaging you. so you had a face mask on, a simple hydrating sheet mask but anything helped, but of course this meant you were deflecting each of his attempts to kiss you.

and tom was pouting about it, upset that he “drove all this way” (it was like a 20 minutes drive, you thought as you rolled your eyes) and now he couldn’t even kiss his girlfriend. and you told him unless he wanted to get himself covered in whatever was even on that mask because you forgot to check the ingredients, he couldn’t kiss you.

with a smirk that you knew all too well, he leaned forward and muttered, “i don’t care.”

and so that’s how you end up on your back on the small twin sized bed of your dorm, tom pressing kisses against your neck and nipping at your collarbones. his lips and chin are cold because of the mask and it sends these little delicious shivers down your spine and you gasp underneath him. he’s muttering against you, pleading quietly. 

“baby, please,” he groans. “need you so much, come on baby girl. wanna fuck you so bad.”

and you almost laugh to yourself because he’s being so needy, but then again he always was. you should have expected this. 

he’s already pulling your sweatpants off your legs, fingers dipping below your panties to rub gentle circles against your clit. you’re gripping the back of his gucci shirt, probably stretching it all to hell but you don’t care and apparently neither does he because every time you do, he presses against you harder. you’re gasping and moaning underneath him, already feeling your legs shake at the shocks of pleasure that shoot through you. and he starts talking, like he always does, and you almost fucking die.

“you like that, baby?” he asks you. “like my fingers on your pretty clit?” 

you learned quickly when you started dating that he was the type of person who needed to be reassured their partner was having a good time in bed, and you were more than happy to comply.

you moan wantonly, a hand coming up to grip at his hair as he pulls your shirt up and starts sucking on the mound of your breast. you weren’t wearing a bra when he got there, and he hums at the thought as he nips softly around your nipple.

you cum without warning, your arms clutched around him and pressing him impossibly closer to you, your juices coating his fingers. you’re loud, and you know your neighbours can probably hear you because the walls are paper thin but you don’t care because tom is sucking a hickey into your neck as you come down from your high, his thumb rubbing slow circles into your clit. it’s still throbbing and you jump every time he presses against it, little groans bubbling from your lips.

he lets you cool down for a little bit, sitting on your bed and sucking lazily on his fingers as you stand and take off your face mask. safe to say he ruined it. it’s like halfway off your face already and you laugh as you look in the mirror, wondering how he still wanted to fuck you when you looked like that. 

“you’re taking too long,” he whines, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist as you finish massaging the remainder of the mask’s liquid into your skin.

“we have all night, tommy,” you mutter.

he bites your ear softly and rolls his hips into your ass, and you grin as you feel his already hard length pressing into you.

“good,” he groans.

[irondadgroupie]

Bohemian Rhapsody: Chapter 7

A/N: Caring for a comatose patient, Tony and May bonding, one of the two was not originally in our to-do-list @intoresus

May was curled up in her chair, dozing off, relaxed by the soft humming Tony supplied. Peter's heartbeat was calm and slow.  

“How did you know it?” May couldn't help asking. She'd been battling herself but couldn't take the quiet anymore. Tony blinked and raised his head.  

“What?”  

“Earlier when I was sucking the breathing tube clean, you told me to stop it then.”  

“Yeah, sorry, I shouldn't have-”  

“No, no,” May shook her head and planted her feet on the ground, her lower back was getting sore. “You were right. It's just that medicine isn't your field.”  

“I'm a curious person.”  

“Noted, but that was quite specific knowledge.”  

Tony lifted Peter's left hand and began to rub the boy's fingers. “When I have downtime, I read medical articles about coma patients and how to care for them. There are some excellent educational videos about different procedures.”  

May nodded, a bit surprised by the revelation. She wondered when Tony had time to do that. Did the man even sleep?  

“I shouldn't have stepped on your toes, May.”  

“No, it's okay, I was just shocked.”  

They were silent for a moment.  

“You know, things like that can't be learnt from books.”  

“I understand and I won't be in the way anymore,” Tony admitted.

“No, no,” May shook her head. “I might not be here every time so it's good you learn how to do everything. I can teach you, or at least try. If it looks like you are not getting the hang of it, the task rests on my shoulders. That good?”  

Tony smiled. “Sounds good.”

May was still hesitant, but had to admit that Tony was putting all his effort in doing whatever she told him as perfectly as possible, without ever once getting impatient or careless. His voice was always soft, and he explained to Peter what he was doing in excessive detail, no matter how minor it was.

“Tugging you in tight. I know you like sleeping like a burrito,” Tony cooed as the adults silently co-operated the blanket. May helped him by wrapping the right sight of the blanket around her nephew’s small body, so that Tony could focus mainly on the left one. “And it keeps you all warm and cozy.”  

May smiled sadly. “I never understood how he can sleep like that.”

“It’s not like he actually sleeps in that position,” Tony rolled his eyes. “He closes his eyes, falls asleep, and as soon as he does, he starts freeing himself. I usually find most of the blanket towering over the floor.”  

Tony paused, looking up. “But I guess that’s nothing I have to tell you.”

May shook her head with a sad smile: “Not really, no. I really have my own share of stories when it comes to Peter.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Tony slumped back into the chair, taking a deep breath in.

“Bet you don’t know he can snore like a sawmill on a good day.” May laughed quietly, partly at the memory and partly at the sight of Tony’s bewildered expression.

“He does?”

“Did. Not that much since the Spider-manning started, if that’s what he’s calling it. But he used to when he was starting to get sick.”  

She turned away, trying to blink away a sudden rush of tears. “We have a small flat, you know? And after a particularly rough day at work, it was pretty hard to fall asleep with an electric drill in the next room. But right now... I’d happily listen to snores twice as loud instead of this.”

“Me too,” Tony admitted quietly. He lowered his head, eyes focused on the sight of Peter, his kid, unconscious and helpless. “I’d be damn happy to have him walk through the lab doors, rambling at a speed quicker than light about things I have no idea of - without him ever taking a breath once.”

“Yeah, he can have quite exhausting monologues sometimes.”

“Quite some -“ Tony huffed, half a smile gracing his lips. “Let me show you something.”  

He grabbed his StarkPad and quickly searched for the file he had in mind. He flipped the screen so that May could see the video recording of a very enthusiastic Peter almost running down to the lab, dropping his bag while giving a speech about black holes and how they meant that time was both a finite and an infinite concept and how it was being a paradox from probably greater value than every other astrological and physical phenomenon combined.

“I was nodding in agreement, but I had to listen to the recording after he left to understand at least half of what he was telling me.” Tony turned for Peter, squeezing the kid’s hand fondly. “Sorry kiddo, but I fear I’m getting too old to follow someone at your speed.”

Peter did not respond, the mechanical breaths only movements he gave.

“At least you got the gist of it.” May countered after a silent moment both reserved for the young man alone. “I’ve never had a perk for science, so most of what he’s saying feels like he’s speaking another language. Not to mention that I sometimes watch him doing his homework and realize that I would have no idea how to solve anything.”

Tony hemmed in agreement: “Believe me or not, I went to MIT and sometimes find myself frowning at some of the problems when we’re doing his homework.”

May raised her eyebrows. “You help with his homework?”  

Tony gave half a shrug as he closed the tablet and set it back on the table “Occasionally. When he’s having questions on it. Has gotten somewhat of a coming in rite - once he’s finished his monologue, of course. We’re usually having a lot of fun with it, don’t we?”

Peter didn't give an answer but Tony and May still acted like he was an active participant in any conversation.  

“You're gonna have a lot of homework to catch up on,” Tony stroked the boy's hair. He lifted his eyes to meet May's. “I have no idea how long he is going to be in coma and then the recovery- I read it can take weeks or even months.”  

“Yes, it's very individual,” May nodded. “He might have to skip the semester.”  

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” The man bit his lip. “Maybe I can bring his school books here and read them aloud.”  

“Yes, because that is every teenager’s dream: History lessons while hooked on a ventilator.”  

“Maybe not anything boring,” Tony saw the point,” but sciences. Spanish texts, Italian books. I could go and buy the latest Science Journals. Does Peter like medicine?”

“Not until a few weeks ago.”  

The remark hung in the air between the two adults like the metaphorical sword of Damocles. May had said the words without a conscious thought but the accusation resonated in her voice nonetheless. A part of her wanted to apologize: she was not oblivious to the pain and guilt in Tony’s eyes whenever he looked at Peter. But she wasn’t ready to let her guard down and definitely not yet ready to believe that things had been a mere coincidence.

Tony swallowed hard and tried to buy time. He was playing versions of apologies in his head until he realized that none of them sounded convincing. If somebody harmed Peter, even indirectly, there was no kind of apology Tony would accept.

At the same time, he couldn’t deal with the reproaches either. He looked at Peter.

“Yeah, medicine has been an interesting mental field trip, kid. Who knows. maybe you’ll even settle for medical engineering when the time comes?

The ventilator hushed a wordless response. Tony leaned forward and grabbed Peter’s hand while giving a small kiss on his knuckles.

“I still remember the day you came up with the idea,” The man’s voice was soft as he reminisced, for a moment not plagued with guilt. “Right out of the blue, while working on the webbing formula. I thought you were just playing around, seeing how sticky and imperishable you had made the webs. You got some stuck on your hair,” Tony chuckled and caressed the place the substance had rested on like the most devilish gum drop. “I had to give you a haircut. And it took forever to get the stuff out of your hands.”

The man shifted in his position and closed his eyes, trying to focus. “Who could’ve guessed you suddenly had bigger things in mind than mere Spiderman?”

“He always wanted to change the world for the better.” May said, her fingers gently tracing her nephew’s facial features. She remembered well how Peter had come home, eager and words falling out of his mouth.

“He already has.” Tony corrected. “And he will.”  

He looked away while saying the following sentences. He had to tell Peter, even if it meant possibly increasing May’s anger. “The final formula you designed is in testing stage right now. I don’t have the results just yet but if it didn’t look promising, we would’ve definitely been informed already.”

Before May could huff her disbelief over the pronoun “we”, Tony was again talking.

“I’ll keep you tuned if they leave me any messages for you. And don’t you worry your pretty little head if they send it back to us with twenty pages of issues the testing brought up. No good invention has worked properly at the first try.”  

After installing the life lesson, Tony forced himself to smile and squeezed the boy’s hand. “But no matter what happens, keep working, don’t give up, because this could very well revolutionize the field of applied biological chemistry.”

“He will,” May’s eyes flashed at Tony. Her demeanor switched 180 as she looked down on her nephew. “You will, sweetheart.”

“May.” Tony sighed, his eyes on Peter. He had to maintain his temper, Peter need peace, his heart was weak, he was so weak. “I made a mistake, alright? And you can be sure that I’ll be beating myself up for that for the rest of my life. It was my car, I drove it and I should’ve held the wheel straight but couldn’t.”  

The man raised his glance, forcing himself to look at May. “I can never put into words how sorry I am. Never. But I didn’t do it on purpose. It was an awful accident that’s going to haunt my nightmares forever. And if you can’t believe that I could never do that to Peter as it is, then I guess the only chance I have of convincing you is to tell that this project won’t work without Peter.”  

Tony’s eyes wandered to the kid again, tears of pride and pain stinging. “Honestly, I’ve lost track of the details of the formula. I’ve seen it work, and I know the basic science that makes it work but the details are beyond my scientific horizon now.”

“You can’t be serious about -“

“I am.” Tony disagreed vehemently. “He had the basic formula for the webs he uses down before we even met. Secretly made solemnly with the material that his chem class could supply. Believe me when I say that he outsmarted me with that feat alone. When I want to invent something, I just order the material.” The man shrugged. “All I ever wanted was to give him a place where his ingenuity could blossom in the best way possible.”

May found herself just staring at Tony, at the visible tear tracks on his face, even if the man tried to wipe them away. Tony was inhaling air heavily in an attempt not to sob. She tried to swallow all the new information. The fact that Tony helped Peter with his homework just as much as the fact that he was still there, sitting at her boy’s bedside, using the time reading journals when he should be sleeping and watching videos just to know how to take care of her nephew. Finally, she could look beyond the curtain of her own grief.

“Tony?”  

The man looked at her, eyes holding the guilt and worry from all the previous days.  

“I believe you.”

The sentence was simple, too simple maybe, but it was enough to have the last ice between the two adults melt.

“Huh,” Tony stated after reading an article in a Medicine Journal aloud. “You live, you learn. But again, engineering is my specialty, not human anatomy.”  

The man tossed the journal to the bedside table, almost knocking over a vase of flowers. Pepper had practically bought out a flower shop: all kinds of plants inhabited every corner, window shelf and table. Tony both appreciated and hated the gesture.

The fumes were relaxing and he had a fun time moving Peter's fingers over different textures on petals. He would stroke the boy’s face with leaves and bring the buds close to his nose, in hopes that the aroma would awaken his brain.

But again, flowers dying was a cruel reminder of how long they had been here, how long this had been their normal. It had been too long since Peter had opened his eyes, since that day on the shore he had gotten the boy's breathing back and clutched him in his arms. Tony had thought after that the worst was over but no.  

The man sniffed and wiped his eyes. Peter needed positive attitude, not pity.

“You want to take a nap?” Tony asked softly while stroking the boy's hair. It was ridiculous to ask it but he wanted, needed to keep up some resemblance of normal day rhythm. And around this time of the day Peter’s crazy metabolism would require the boy to crash and take a short rest from the stress of the day.

Tony frowned and stroked a strand of hair between his fingers. The usually soft, slightly rough curls were slick and matted. Tony grimaced. “You need a bath. Yeah, it's about time. I'll take it up with May when she comes back from her break.”

An hour later, May opened the door, freshened up and carrying a tray of food. “Pepper asked me to bring you this.”  

“Just leave it on the table.”  

May raised an eyebrow. “Tony, if you don't eat, you'll get sick. If you get sick, you can't be here because Peter is extremely vulnerable to any kind of germs and diseases.”  

The man grunted and offered his arms. “Fine,” He took the tray and started nibbling on meatballs and mashed potatoes.  

May sat in another chair and planted a kiss on the boy's hair. “Hello, sweetie. You need a bath.”

“Just told him that,” Tony began to get his appetite back. His stomach was screaming for meat. “I can do it, just talk me through the motions.”  

“Yeah, no,” May shook her head. “The nurses are here for it.”  

“Why pass it on to them?” Tony did not see anything wrong with the issue. His mouth was half-full and he placed a hand over it discreetly. ” They have enough work as it is.”  

“Yes, but I would rather they do it.”  

Tony raised an eyebrow. “It's nothing to me, May. I have seen him naked before, we are both male, what is the big deal?”  

May sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.  

“Try to think it from Peter's point of view, would he like you to wash him up?”

Tony crossed his arms. “What about you? Whom would you choose more: Me, a trustworthy adult who loves the kid to the moon and back or some sleazy old woman who would probably fantasize about the kid's body and do who knows what?” 

“Okay, first of all, there is nothing sexual about washing a comatose person and two, yes, I would rather it's someone Peter doesn't know.”

“May, that’s really irrational. I don’t think -“Tony interrupted himself. Even after only a few days, he could instantly hear if something about Peter’s condition had changed. May seemed to recognize it too, now that the room was silent aside of the sounds of the ventilator and the steady beeping of the monitor, in a quicker pace than usual.

“You don’t like it when we fight, do you?” She asked, fingers stroking Peter’s cheek in an attempt to calm him. Tony was immediately down on earth too.

“Sorry kiddo.” He whispered, hand moving to take Peter’s, kissing the kid’s knuckles, he’d learned it relaxed the boy a lot. “We didn’t mean to upset you. We’ll sort it out.”  

May frowned at him, gaze steady and leaving no doubt that she wouldn’t give in to Tony’s plea no matter how rational he made it sound.

“Fine.” The man complied. He didn’t like it, however, putting Peter under any more stress was not worth winning this argument. “But I want to oversee them washing his hair. It’s a delicate process with the breathing tube and the weakened neck muscles, and I want to make sure none of the nurses are too distracted to do it properly.” 

In the first days, May would’ve disagreed with him, trying to explain that he was overly careful, but time had taught her that it was a blind end. Tony cared for Peter so much that no rational argument could be used to change his mind.

“Keep your hands behind his neck!” Tony ordered, heart thumping hard in his chest while he watched. He hated the risk of Peter suffering a spinal damage - even if it was minor and more than unlikely - just because some of the nurses made a reckless mistake. Next time the physiotherapist would visit, he definitely needed to have a talk with them about how to strengthen the kid’s neck too, because that’d only get more important in the long run. Until then, he had to endure the torture of helplessly watching until the nurses finished their work.

Thirty minutes later, nurses were gone and Tony was drying up the water droplets from Peter’s ears.

“There you go, kiddo. All clean and fresh. Feels good, huh?”

“It sure does.” May said, smiling, ruffling the now finally washed hair. The nurses had listened to her when she’d asked them not to brush it neatly. Now, he at least looked a little like her boy again. “I have a surprise for you, too.”  

Tony raised an eyebrow, smiling. He knew Peter loved surprises. Good ones, at least.

May rummaged in her bag, and retrieved a stuffed animal. It took Tony a while, but he recognized it as Roo, the little kangaroo kid from Winnie Pooh, looking like it had been loved for a few years.

“Remember? Ben bought it for you when you had that really awful flu and watched the new movie all day long.” She gently moved it along Peter’s fingers, intending him to feel the plushy texture and love. “You didn’t go anywhere without it afterwards, especially not when you were sick.”  

Tony saw her lips twitch with emotion and didn’t dare disturb the moment. But May wasn’t finished yet. 

“Brought something else too. Although that’s probably something Tony and I will enjoy a little more.” 

The next thing May had in store was an old photo album. 

“He has been sharing some of his good memories, so I thought it’s only fair if we show him some of ours? I brought your favorite album” She told Peter and waited a few seconds before turning to Tony. Normally the two adults took places on both sides of Peter’s bed. Now, however, the boy had been positioned on his side to hopefully avoid bed sores. May and Tony sat beside each other, both facing the boy.  

It’s the only one with some pictures of his parents in it, “May explained and Tony nodded understandingly. Peter didn’t really talk much about his biological parents, given that his aunt and uncle had been more of a family to him than they ever could, but he had once found the boy scamming some very old audio recordings of Richard Parker and Mary Fitzpatrick. “I... don’t want to forget how their voices sounded, you know?”  

Tony could only assume how hard it must be for a teenager that has lost his parents at an infant age to find a balance between moving on and mourning a loss far beyond his comprehension.

“You’re one of the people that thinks newborns look like old potatoes, aren’t you?” May remarked, closely observing Tony’s reaction to yet another ‘newly welcomed to the world’ Peter in the arms of his mother. He was about to say something on the contrary but May only laughed. “It’s fine, really. Infants do look like unpeeled potatoes. Even Peter.” She squeezed the boy’s hand. “But you were an extraordinary cute little vegetable.” 

Pictures of 2001 passed, then 2002 and the following years, and Tony saw a change in the facial expression of that once happy rambling, chaotic little toddler that May had described. As if the light in the bright eyes was suddenly missing. 

“He didn’t know what was happening. He cried, all day, all night, asking for his mom and dad.” She explained, sighing. “It’s been a decade, but I still remember the first time he smiled afterwards.” The next page revealed a picture of a roughly four-year-old, curly-haired Peter, face covered in ice-cream, obviously giggling. All hearts in the room melted and May smiled while telling Peter which picture she was showing his mentor.

“And I’m sure you’re going to love these ones, too.”

The following ten pages were all scrambled with pictures of a young Peter at Stark Expo: Eyes glistening with joy whilst pressing his face against the glass surrounding the exhibits, broad smile on his face posing next to a life-sized cardboard stand-up of Iron Man. Tony felt another wave of tears welling up at the admiration in the kid’s soft, brown eyes. If Peter didn’t idolize him so much, he probably wouldn’t be where he was now, but instead having a sleepover with Ned, like any normal sixteen-year-old. He should never have-

“It was probably the greatest thing that ever happened to him at that time. He just wouldn’t stop talking about it, ever. Imagine how hard it was to get him to sleep that evening. I could still hear him whisper about what he’s seen at two the next morning.” May went on, forcing Tony to get his mind away from blaming himself.

The distance in time between pictures became wider in the following years, but the most important moments were still captured: School events, Christmas eves, the hugs following. And then, yet again, there was a change in the pictures, more subtle in the face of the teenager, but still there. Faked smiles in the rare pictures taken of him.

“We... had a lot to deal with. I still do, and I assume Peter has, too. Maybe that’s why I never realized it and couldn’t help. Neither with his grief nor with the superhero identity. So, I guess I really have to thank you for taking him under your wings. Both him and Spiderman.”

“May I -“

“No. I mean it. That internship - working with you - has made him become more like the boy he used to be. Happier. You helped him find a mental balance and purpose again. These last couple of weeks, before the accident, have been the first time I’ve seen him at the top of his game ever since Ben died.”  

May paused, clearing her throat. “Certainly, it cheers me up, too. Although, I don’t know if there’s a single sticky note without a chemical formula on it left in our apartment.”

That was certainly something Tony could relate to.

“You think I have any clean napkins left?” The man chuckled.

“You care about napkins?” May teased. “I was doing laundry and found a note on one of his socks!”

“Ever seen a formula written in letter-shaped noodles?” Tony returned, finding himself grinning at the memory of Peter eating two bowls of hot soup just because he was searching for a ‘2’

“Ever seen your living room covered in schematic blueprints from door to window?”  

The competition went on for a little while longer, given that Peter had taken the saying “never leave a good idea waiting” very literally. 

The good mode broke when both of them slowly sunk back from joyful memories to the reality of machines beeping around them.

“So... Steak formula was the last one?”

Tony raised an eyebrow, but his eyes were fixed on Peter’s face. Ignoring the breathing tube, he could easily pretend the boy was just sleeping peacefully after a rough patrol. “‘Steak formula’?”

“The nickname Pepper and I gave, after the two of you were rude enough to leave the dinner you invited me to halfway through.”  

Tony finally remembered the evening. The pride he had felt warming his body when he heard Peter exclaim “I got it”, knowing that this time, the boy didn’t just have another idea how to fix the issues they were having – Peter had fixed them.

“It is. As of now, at least.”

“You think it’ll work?”

“Sure.” Tony leaned forward, grabbing for Peter’s hand, massaging the boy’s fingers. “And if not, he’ll just continue to work on it until it does.”

[smhtaehyung]

when all daisies disappear🌼|| chapter 7

• masterlist

• Pairing: taehyung x OC (mental hospital au)

• Genre: angst, fluff, eventual smut, romance

• Word count: 3.6k

• Warning: swearing, will contain themes such as suicidal thoughts, depression and physical violence. Some of the backstory for Taehyung’s character is taken from the BTS concepts during the hyyh era. if you feel uncomfortable with the topic of mental illness, I advise you not to read further.

•••

chapter 7 ➸ 413 🌼

There were no daisies on his side of the room. I tried so hard to focus and tried my best to figure it out. It was all so vivid, his touches, kisses and even his groans. But a devastating reality sucked everything out of me once I realised I was dreaming a dream, that missed to include his daisies. Then it all went black, and I wanted to scream. I rested in the dark silence, my fully awake mind wandering through many damaging thoughts.

Suddenly, I felt a pillow hit my leg. "Jia, wake up." I heard Taehyung whisper in his raspy morning voice. "We're gonna miss breakfast again." I didn't want to come back to awakeness, but I slowly opened my eyes to look at Taehyung, who was so clueless to what I had dreamed about. I looked at his side of the room too, that was in this reality blooming with hunderds of daisies. I stared deeply into his eyes. All of that was a lie. A dream. He would never touch someone like that, and admitting that to myself hurt the most. I wanted his soft words to turn to soft touches. I was on the edge of crying as my mind started slowly forgetting that vivid feeling of his skin pressed against mine. I was craving to remember what those touches felt like in that dream, but felt desperate when my mind was slowly forgetting the sight of Taehuyng between my legs.

"What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?" Taehyung questioned in his usual innocently timid expression. I stared deep into his eyes, feeling numb and unfortunate. I looked down and felt my eyes water. "Did you have a bad dream?" Taehyung asked and I quickly sat up, getting ready to leave the room. I ignored his question and hurried out of the room. A sudden wave of embarrassment hit me as I shut my eyes. Why would my mind dream about him like that? Why did I had to dream that?

"Fuck." I sighed and said to myself as I walked to the dining room. I took cereal as usual and sat down at the nearest empty table. I couldn't really eat, but forced myself to do so, not wanting to seem like I'm dealing with something or someone. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I quickly wiped it away. It's so embarrassing and frustrating to have thoughts and dirty dreams like that about Taehyung. A boy who fears physical contact of any kind. Knowing I could never feel him in that way frustrated me, because he really did seem like he wouldn't hurt me. How could I not believe that after seeing such care over fragile flowers such as daisies.

I sighed and shut my eyes. I was too focused on my thoughts to notice Taehyung, sitting opposite me. I stiffened once realising he was here already. I looked down and rested my hand onto my cheek. "Why do you always come to me when I run away?" I questioned in a cold tone, staring at his cereal bowl. I took a bite and tasted flavours that were suddenly tasting so plain, mainly because of my mood and a racing thoughts that couldn't focus on anything else I was feeling or tasting. He sighed and took a bite, not really wanting to answer my question and argue with me. He finally spoke. "You shouldn't be this upset if just about simple bad dream that's bothering you." His tone sounded like a melody to me as he softly spoke, making me look at him differently ever since that dream ended. I stared at his soft mouth and his playful tongue inside that made me reminisce about the dream all over again. I was really desperate and that made me embarrassed and it made me carry a lot of guilt upon my back, hating myself for thinking that way about Taehyung. Regardless if I wanted it to or not. It was Taehyung. That dream wasn't like him at all.

"Trust me, when I get my bad dreams I remember that it's just a nightmare. That dream is not going to happen in real life because it's not real. This is reality-" He started speaking, trying to comfort me but he couldn't. He had no idea what I dreamed about which was frustrating itself. "Stop saying it's not gonna happen!" I raised my voice, a slight shock showing on his face. "Who said it was a bad dream?" I scoffed and stood up to leave but he stopped me. "Will you stop leaving me like this every single day?" He asked, making me freeze in place. "I don't need to stay here with you." I scoffed and tried to move but my body didn't let me. "You do. I need you to explain why you were moaning my name while you slept, just before you woke up." He explain in this amazingly pure tone that managed to get inside my head and break down all barriers of other thoughts. I sat down. Almost all of my face paled, only my cheeks reddening.

"Did I hurt you in your dream?" He asked, his eyes becoming bigger and cuter as each second passed by. I exhaled a quick and confused breath out. "You can't be this pure to not understand that." I cackled in disbelief. "What?" He questioned, looking at me with an completely serious expression on his face.

"This is not a conversation to be having at breakfast." I said and got up again. He rolled his eyes, seeing me stand up, becoming more annoyed with every move I made. "Then when-?" He asked, becoming slightly frustrated. "I'll let your innocent mind wander around on its own, before you finally get it." I said and started walking away. "No, wait-where are you going?" He questioned, his voice sounding very deep. "A therapist session. Nothing personal, Taehyung." I said whilst looking at him over my shoulder. "It always is personal." He slightly raised his voice in a playful tone for me to hear it. I giggled to myself, mentally slapping myself in disbelief he did not understand what happened right in front of his eyes and perky ears.

The passage of time went quickly as I was already standing in front of the ordination. I knocked twice and peeked my head in. "I'm ready to have that session." I softly spoke. My therapist widened his eyes in shock, looking so surprised yet full of hope. "Hey, Jia. Come in. Have a seat." He said in a welcoming tone. I sat down and got comfortable in the leather chair, being slightly too wide for my smaller proportions. He started asking me about small things, how he would usually do, before asking more serious questions. "You want to completely use my good mood don't you?" I slightly chuckled, being onto him about dragging every detail out when I was somehow in a good mood and feeling nicer. But the worst thing about my "disorder" is that it's very unpredictable. Any sentence or a question could switch my good mood off. And that often happened. I hurt me not having control over my rapid thoughts or heavy breathing or that skipping beat of a heart after a question that would change everything finished. It happened again.

"Have you been sleeping well this week?" Such a simple question made my mind switch to a much darker place, reminiscing about the dream I had last night. I only heard Taehyung's muffled moans and quickened breaths he let out in a moment of pleasure and handling his fears.

"Everything I say here is discrete, right?" I questioned, picking on my sleeve with my nails. "Of course, Jia." He said in a confident and reassuring voice. "I've had this dream after taking my medication yesterday." I said, to which he carefully listened, not taking notes until I'd finish. "It was way too vivid, but represented things that would never really happen. So I felt like a part of my mind that would like for that to happen, happened in a dream that I only recognised wasn't a reality when an object that was always there was actually missing. Then my mind switched off, and I woke up. Just like that." I explained slightly abstract, clearly not wanting to tell what the dream was about. "So, the situation that occurred in a dream...do you really believe that would never happen?" He asked, trying to ask me abstract questions too, getting on a same page with me.

"I guess not. But I don't want that to happen, because involves someone else who could get hurt by us getting in that situation. And I could also get hurt again." I said, motioning with my hands to prove a point I was getting at. "Well, I can't control if that person would get hurt and I suppose you can't do if that person has problems of their own, but I can help you finally get away from your past Jia. And show to you that the only person that could hurt you is in fact you. People leave damage, but we take that damage with a thought of us deserving it, but I don't think you should feel burdened to accept any kind of hurt and acr out because of that." He said and started talking some more, making me want to listen to his thoughts for a long time. Maybe I had never given him enough chances. Maybe it is all my fault. Maybe that or this topic was just perfect for us two to talk about. Regardless what it was, it helped me once our session ended. We explored a lot through my thinking process and he left some great notes to put in my file under the "progress" section. It was a job for him, yes, but I realised that it's not only empty words on those papers. It would be very hypocritical from me to blame him for analyzing me so easily, because I do the same thing to people too, but there's a slight difference. He does it to help people or to at least make some change in their life. I do it so I can use people and know all about their weakness and use it against them. So there's a big difference between the two. Such a difference that made me think of myself as such a selfish rat. Rats. They are a burden and always bring damage. Why did I give such an ugly and offensive nickname to a boy so pure? I need to stop calling him that.

"Uhm-uh- thanks?" I said, being on my way to leave his ordination. "Yes. No problem." He answered, knowing it was hard for me to express gratitude to people, but today realised I do have some in me.

I walked down the hallway and noticed a door of mine and Taehyung's shared room, being almost fully opened. I walked in and noticed Taehyung inside, laying on his bed. He stared at the wall, looking blank. "You okay?" I softly questioned. "Yeah." His head flinched to my direction as he said. "Okay." I said in a doubtful tone. I squatted as I looked for something at the bottom of my nightstand. I noticed Taehyung's nervous figure from the corner of my eyes. "Hey, do you want to go to the roof today?" He asked in one short quick breath, sitting up. I stared at him, questioning his actions. "Uhm, okay? When do you want to go?" I asked. "I noticed we have no activities after 7 pm, so is 7:08 okay for us to meet up there?" He asked. Why does he want to go separately? Why is he so nervous?

"7:08? That's a very specific time." I slightly giggled at him. "Well I actually timed how long it takes to get there." He casually said. "You went there alone?" I asked in a worried tone. He simply nodded. "Dude! That's my spot. If you get caught they're gonna put extra security to get to it and then I'm fucked." I whispered, slightly frustrated. "But they could catch you too." He softly spoke. "I have years of practice! I trust myself more than you! You didn't even know about it before I brought you." I scoffed in a more calmed way as I shook my head in disappointment.

"Just be there." He said in a numb voice. I rolled my eyes.

•••

6:58 pm. Music therapy. 10 minutes before meeting Taehyung on the roof and he's not even here with me. Did he skip music therapy to go on the roof? 6:59 pm. Still thinking about Rat. I counted down the last 60 seconds, immediatly leaving my chair once the big blue clock on the green wall went to zero. Everyone slowly got up too, me being almost halfway to my room to take my jacket. To my surprise, Taehyung was inside. Staring through the window as he counted his daisies. "Do you count your daisies every single day because they warned you that I'm a klepto or?" I asked, trying to break of the silence without attacking him with questions about where he was. I closed the door and heard his voice echo through the room. "Just making sure they're all here." He softly spoke. I stood blank for a long second before asking a question. "How come you're not on the roof? It'll be 7:09 pm and we don't want that for you OCD brain." I playfully teased, to which he started talking in a more serious way. "Can we stay in our room and talk?" He softly asked, slight desperation in his voice to make me stay. "If you won't go, I'm going." I snapped back, not knowing how to react, rejecting emotion being the only thing I always fell under. "Are you seriously going to leave me?" He asked in a more desperate tone, making me completely stiff. "What did you expect from me?" I asked in a slightly over-the-top way. "Why the change?" He asked, his face changing emotion to a more frustrated one. "What?" I absurdly asked, not understanding. "How can you turn from being so human to this after only one night?" He said, stepping close to me. My heart raced and my breath hitched. "What, you're saying I'm not a human right now?" I asked, feeling frustration build up inside of me. "That's not what I-" He tried to explain, rolling his eyes at my sudden attack. "I'm fucking bipolar, Taehyung. I'm hard to deal with. You know that, so why are you so overly attached to me?" I snapped. My words made him snap too. The same moment was repeated, just a different place and slightly more frustration.

"I'm overly attached?! I fuck with your subconcience so much you had a dream about fucking me-!" He blurted out, leaving both of us in shock over what he just spat out.

Taehyung was never really the kind to swear and use language in such a damaging way. So that part surprised me too. "You're such an asshole! Take that back!" I raised my voice, panicking. I started breathing heavily, hating this kind of a verbal argument, hearing something I never wanted to hear from him. "No! You're hurting everyone around you! Why does that not bother you?" He kept throwing those words at me as I felt myself having a panick attack. "Not everyone's life goal is to hurt you. Can you stop being so selfish and self absorbed?!" He kept talking. Couldn't stop. Taehyung snapped, again.

"And not all boys are going to hurt you like that one did! Why do you blame me for listening to the rumors if you won't tell me the truth? Why should I trust you when you lie so much?!" He talked about the rumours. There once was a love interest I had in this hospital. Things weren't so nicely played out.

"He killed himself after we fought!! He tried to get under my skin the same way you do! How the fuck could I trust you or any other boy after that?! IT NEVER WAS ABOUT ME. I DON'T WANT YOU TO MAKE ME SAY THINGS I'LL REGRET AND THAT YOU'LL END UP KILLING YOURSELF!" I raised my voice, tears rolling down my cheeks. Taehyung's face softened as he carefully listened. "You only know about the rumors that yeah, he had sex with me but that I kept stealing his meds so he would never leave the hospital! Do you-do you really believe that?!" I spoke in a panicked tone.

"Guess you didn't analyse me well to notice I care too much ab-about people." I said and felt my hands shaking with nervousness and panic.

I thought that I could argue with Taehyung and still fool him with my glass shield, but right in that moment, Taehyung was breaking the pieces of my glass shield and shoving the broken glass into my mouth. "I guess you finally fucking snapped. See what you did. Fuck you. Fuck you-" I said, wiping my eyes full of tears. I felt myself having a mental breakdown so I slid down to the floor as my back leaned against the mattress. "Jia. Calm down. Please." Taehyung pleaded with tears in his eyes. He kneeled down and got very close to me. I couldn't stop hyperventilating. "It's okay, it's okay." I heard him whisper in a slight grunt.

While I felt trapped in the prison of my thoughts, I was too focused to notice why Taehyung was grunting. My body was regaining conscience from feeling numb as I felt Taehyung's fingers stroke my hair. Taehyung was touching me, feeling discomforted, but did everything to calm me down.

"Don't do that-" I worried about his condition but he cut me off. "I'm-I'm okay." He slightly grunted. Then there was silence. A shock like that calmed me down as I finally didn't have to savour the touch of his hands. In that deafening silence, Taehyung's hands went on a journey. He collected all the courage he could and quickly grabbed my small hand, putting it in his. He breathed in and out, shutting his eyes as he felt slight pain. He took my hand and guided it to his face to touch his cheek. "Are you sure? I don't think this is a good idea-" "Please." He whispered mid his quickened breaths and all I could do was let him. My fingertips pressed on his cheek as we both let a breath out. Taehyung's hands found my neck as his eyes were still glued shut. "Rat. Don't do this just because you think that I want-" I tried to speak in panic but a sudden touch interrupted my thoughts completely and made it all a blank page for me. It wasn't an usual touch. It was a touch of lips. So soft and timidly pressed onto mine.

I winced in realisation, in sync with Taehyung, who winced out of pain. His fingers didn't move, so I tried to keep mine on his cheeks, not moving. I pulled away and stared into his eyes as they slowly opened. "I'm doing it...for me too." He breathed out. Taehyung was experimenting with his phobia, making me panic about how much he could handle. "This is not a good idea, Rat." I whispered, trying to collect myself. "You're not the only one who has been confused about their subconciousness." He said. "I keep wanting to touch you, even if I know I couldn't. I never thought I would think of someone in that way again." He said and looked down. "I don't want to hurt you, Taehyung." I spoke, feeling calmed down after the kiss. "I'm on some meds, so I can take it. Let me use that to do things I would want to feel better." He spoke, his words triggering me from sounding quite familiar from my dream. "You're going to feel bad in the morning." I said and moved my hand from his cheek away, but that only made him experimently grab the side of my waist, making me come closer to me. "Please." He said and before breaking down in tears again, I pressed my head into his chest and grabbed him by his shirt. His arms awkwardly made their way around me. Taehyung's breathing sped up and his heart beat was going at an incredibly fast rate. "Kiss me more. Please." He whispered. I moved up and slowly positioned my hands on his neck and jawline to bring him closer to me. He shut his eyes in pain but relaxed his face once he felt my lips on his. I kissed him so softly, trying to apologize with touching him. He reacted to the kiss better than the touch, that was for sure.

When I touched his hard chest I felt him let out another wince of pain. "Okay, that's enough." I said and pulled away from the kiss. Taehyung moved away and tried to process what had just happened. "It's not good to experiment with these things." I tried to explain to him but he cut me off, looking into me. "This is not really an experiment for me. More like a thing I'm dying to feel like I used to." He said and looked down. Then we talked. We talked for hours that night. And I was scared. And you were scared too, Rat. But that night we were on our way to go to sleep on opposite beds in silence, yet our minds filled up the room with our thoughts. Both of us young, confused and scared. I know that we both didn't know what was next to do. And what even were we. And if it really is possible for us to be something else.

In sudden panic and jumped out of my bed and turned on my lamp. "What's wrong?" Taehyung asked, slightly sitting up. I had to check if this wasn't just another vivid reality. I stared at his side of the room, full of daisies. I slightly smiled.

"Nothing, Rat. Just checking if all daisies are there."

part 8

[ttaohuan]

good morning (it’s probably gonna be like 1am by the time i finish writing this) tbh i’m known around uni & to my friends as being late for everything so why did i expect this to be any different???

hi, i’m alex!! i’m 20, i suck at intros but i’ll give this a good go! i’m going into my third year of creative writing in september so everything we do here is actually great practice; thx for letting me & my son interact with y’all <3 

( CAI XUKUN / CISMALE / HE/HIM ). [ TAO HUAN ] is a [ TWENTY-THREE ] year old [ UNDERGRAD ] student studying [ VOCAL PERFORMANCE ]. they are known for being [ HARDWORKING & CONFIDENT ], but also being [ UNTRUSTWORTHY & TEMPERAMENTAL ]. if there was a song that described their life, it would be [ GIVE YOURSELF A TRY BY THE 1975 ]. ( ooc: ALEX / 20 / BST / HE/HIM )

first things first!

he’s a newish idol (singer) muse that i made to replace another boy i had no muse for, so i’m still kind of figuring him out tbh, bear with me

early life!

born in chengdu, china, but his mother moved them to new orleans when he was three

we can skip past the typical cute good upbringing; he was a happy kid, never really knew his mom was struggling @ Life until he was older

also probably a theatre kid when he was at school; always that annoying asshole that always got the lead in school musicals & hardcore gifted & talented

career!

he’s a member of 7-member boy group cherry (3 years) and 10-member co-ed group trap (1 year)

unlike most of his members, he wasn’t scouted on the street. actually, huan waited and auditioned for two different companies while they were doing int. auditions when he was 13 and 15, but despite getting through both times his mother never let him go to korea to pursue it 

it took him another year of begging for her to let him do it tbh so she pulled her savings and put him on a plane and uhhh as they say the rest is history!

jk, he got through, everything is good, he debuted at 20 after 4 years of intense training 

his boy group has super cute concepts though and as much fun as he’s having, it really isn’t huan’s style. he’s out there on stage wearing cute ass pastel outfits and blowing kisses into crowds but he’d rather harmonise about sucking dick on 3 different tracks

tbh that’s why trap kind of exists? everyone in trap is a member of other groups or a soloist usually known for being cute, but their concepts are hella dark & mature

both groups are currently on an extended hiatus because of individual projects; acting, comebacks, etc

beaumont!

originally, huan was supposed to take online classes in a different subject but bc he’s so free atm, he’s decided he’s good to physically attend school for a while. his management might pull some strings and get it switched to an online degree if anything in his life changes, but for now... he’s here! uwu

he studies vocal performance because he lowkey misses the intense vocal training from when he was a trainee & also bc it ensures he practices while being away from his groups

also kinda why he dances & he’s a part of the music society too. music is basically his entire life, he doesn’t know a world outside of it

hmmm... actually fills up on a lot of extracurriculars bc he’s very VERY LOWKEY scared ab the future of his career even tho he’s...doing very well

BUT IM HERE ACTING LIKE HE’S AN ANGEL LOL!

bottom line is no one at school has fuckin heard of cherry or trap or even know his name and face so he’s pretty much free to do whatever he wants. he’s all nicey nicey with his fans & friends but he can be pretty cold & reliant on his money & his looks to have a good time/make new friends

like, he doesn’t really take anything and anyone seriously. he knows he’s gonna be out of here in a few years time (tbh maybe even less bc conflicting schedules) so he’s not worried about repercussions

hence being the president of kappa theta, and he’s fucking good at it

the only time he’ll be soft is on new brothers or those going through hazing, but it’s on the down low because he’s generally pretty unapproachable since he keeps to himself and he thinks it’ll ruin kappa theta’s overall image if he allows himself to be 100% soft w everyone

but he throws the best fuckin parties! no one’s been to a shit tao huan party, gn

connections!

SOMEONE HE’S SOFT WITH even tho i said he’s not soft bc im... gay and i want fluff

i 100% believe he’s fucked someone & then fucked them over, either bc schedules in the past, or recently at school bc he don’t...give a shit ab anything

maybe some of his group members oops????

roommate? they hate how huan always leaves his clothes & towels & instruments literally everywhere. one time they found his aftershave & toothbrush & one (1) shoe in their bag. how? nobody knows. certainly not huan

actually going back to that kind-of-ex plot; he’s been all over the world but w focuses on america, china, japan & korea so if u want an angsty ex-bf or ex-friend plot hit me up bc huan is perfect for those

probably has one set group of people (apart from his bros!) that he goes to for parties n shit. probably ditches every time they’re out & they find him again at the end of the night. he’s like a fuckin dust bunny he’s cruisin everywhere & u lose him sometimes but not to worry...he still there

u already know to hit me up if there’s anything angsty..yum

he’s a good older bro tbh even tho he’s an only child so uhhh some ppl he always kinda looks out for even tho he doesn’t know why?

SOMEONE HE DOESN’T REALLY LIKE BUT LOOKS OUT FOR ANYWAY????? WHATS HE SO PROTECTIVE FOR???

someone who actually does know him as a musician.. whether they like him or not. a fan? cool. someone who’s not rlly a fan? cool again

honestly i haven’t been in a decent group rp for a hot minute & i already see some ppl i know from past rps in here so i know we’re gonna have a good time; just hit me up with whatever u want & we’ll work on it! uwu

[weightlossfitnesssinfo]

Why the “pause-button mentality” is ruining your well being and health. ‘Getting a fresh start’ isn’t the magic bullet you thought it’d be.

“I’ll resume healthy eating after my vacation… once the baby is born… after Dad gets out of the hospital… January 1… Monday.” While this sort of “pause-button mentality” appears affordable, it might be ruining your well being and health. Here’s why, and what to do about it.

++++

There’s a query that’s been discovering its method to me a LOT recently—from Precision Nutrition Coaching purchasers, Certification college students, ProCoaches.

“Why don’t your programs offer a ‘pause’ feature?”

After all, what’s the hurt in letting purchasers/sufferers take a break from a vitamin and health plan after they’re:

leaving for trip,

utterly swamped at work,

pregnant, or simply after supply,

injured, or

caring for an ailing member of the family?

For a consumer, the thought course of boils right down to:

If I miss some exercises, eat the unsuitable issues, skip the homework… I fail.

Aren’t I extra more likely to succeed if I take a break, simply till I've the time to do it proper?

This is what I name the ‘pause-button mentality’.

Now, don’t get me unsuitable.

I believe it’s regular—even commendable—to need to do your finest. To think about taking time to regroup after which resume (or begin over) when life feels simpler.

At the identical time, this utterly pure and well-meaning impulse is likely one of the quickest, surest, most dependable methods to sabotage your plans for improved vitamin, well being, and health.

Here’s why—and what to do as an alternative.

Starting contemporary after you lose your manner is a extremely comforting thought.

That’s most likely why New Year’s resolutions are so standard, particularly following the indulgence-fueled vacation season.

Give me that cheesecake. I’ll choose my weight loss plan again up on Monday!

In truth, we’ve discovered in our vitamin teaching packages that the concept of a do-over is so alluring you don’t even want a mess-up for the pause-button mentality to take over.

Every January, we welcome a brand new group of purchasers. Every July, we take within the second, and ultimate, group of the yr.

In July, six months in, simply realizing that there are new purchasers beginning this system contemporary in January makes some July purchasers “itch” for a brand new starting, despite the fact that they’re already making progress, altering their our bodies.

If solely you’d let me begin over, I’d actually nail it this time!

But right here’s the issue: The pause-button mentality solely builds the talent of pausing.

Whether it’s tomorrow, Monday, subsequent week, and even subsequent yr, hitting that imaginary pause button offers you some sense of aid.

It permits you slightly respite from what could be a actually robust slog.

(And the center is at all times a troublesome slog, it doesn’t matter what sort of venture you’re engaged on.)

This perceived aid is compounded by the phantasm that if we “start fresh” later we are able to discover the magical “right time” to start.

Listen, I get it.

It can really feel absurd to attempt to enhance your consuming and train habits whilst you’re within the midst of persistent stress / on the lookout for a job / beginning a brand new job / occurring trip / caring for ageing mother and father / elevating young children.

That’s most likely why there are such a lot of 21-day this and 90-day that. What grownup has greater than 90 days to go after their health targets with an all-out effort?

But what do these intense health sprints educate you?

The talent of getting match inside a really quick (and utterly non-representative) interval of your life.

What don’t they educate you?

The talent of getting match (or staying match) within the midst of a standard, sophisticated, “how it really is” kind of life.

This is why the yo-yo weight loss plan factor has develop into such a phenomenon.

It’s not about willpower. It’s about expertise.

In most health situations, you learn to get match beneath bizarre, tightly-controlled, white-knuckle life conditions.

You construct that one, solitary, non-transferrable talent—to slam the fuel pedal down, drive the needle into the crimson, and squeal down the highway for a short time, burning the rubber off your tires till you (shortly) run out of fuel and crash.

What you don’t construct is the power to get match beneath real-life situations.

That’s why it doesn’t stick. Not since you suck.

But as a result of the pure and predictable consequence of getting a restricted talent set is short-term progress adopted instantly by long-term frustration.

What shall be totally different subsequent time?

I keep in mind having lunch with a colleague who swore up and down that his low-carb weight loss plan plus every day working was the key to staying in form.

I needed to comply with up with a painful query: “Well, why aren’t you actually in shape?”

After a protracted pause: “Uhh, I’ve had a hard time sticking with it. We just had our second child. The holidays just ended. I just switched jobs.” He trailed off…

“But, once everything settles down, I’ll get with the program and get in shape again! I guess I’m just on a little break.”

This story illustrates the purpose completely.

Here’s somebody who’s constructed his health on a home of playing cards. He is aware of just one factor: How to get in form by following a really difficult program when the situations are good.

And each time life isn’t good, which is more often than not, he hits the pause button. He waits for a greater time. (All the whereas dropping the well being and health he beforehand labored so onerous for.)

That’s why, when our purchasers ask to press pause, we normally ask them:

“What will be different when you come back?”

Nine instances out of 10, the trustworthy reply is nothing. Nothing shall be totally different.

Life is simply… taking place. And it’ll occur once more in January, or after the infant is born, or after Mom will get higher, or at some other arbitrary level you choose.

And what then?

I’ve needed to press “pause” myself.

If you’ve ever felt like urgent pause, otherwise you really feel this manner proper now, it'd assist to know I’ve felt precisely the identical manner.

Just a few years again, my spouse and I made a decision to renovate a house. During the reno, we lived in a tiny condo above my in-laws’ storage. At the time I used to be additionally beginning up Precision Nutrition.

Every day we’d get up and get straight to work. At the top of the day, we’d drive 1 ½ hours to the brand new home to chip away on the reno. Then, late at night time, we’d drive 1 ½ hours again and fall into mattress. Repeat.

At first, I assumed there was no method to train. My schedule was utterly packed, I had nowhere to work out, and my consuming was lower than superb.

But after a few weeks I noticed that one thing was going to be higher than nothing.

The renovations would proceed. Running a enterprise would solely get extra demanding. And we had been planning to have our first youngster.

I noticed I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t press pause. Because, if I didn’t proceed, there’d by no means be that “perfect time” to hit play once more.

I wanted to discover a method to squeeze in some form of exercise, nevertheless fast, simple, and unglamorous.

Let’s settle for that life has no pause button.

The key lesson right here is that, prefer it or not, the sport of life retains going.

There isn't any timeout.

There’s by no means going to be a second when issues are magically simpler.

You can’t escape work, private, and household calls for. Nor are you able to escape the necessity for well being and health in your life.

Here’s a thought experiment:

What for those who tried to hit pause in different areas of your life?

Imagine you’re up for a giant promotion at work. For the following two weeks, all you need to do is give attention to mastering an upcoming presentation, and successful over your boss.

Trouble is, you’ve obtained two younger kids at residence who have a tendency to know, koala-like, onto your legs and demand your full consideration.

Honey, you say to your partner, I’m simply gonna press pause on being a dad or mum for now. I’ll be staying at a lodge. Don’t contact me.

I don’t learn about you, however that might NOT go over nicely in my household.

You can’t actually press pause—and also you undoubtedly can’t hit reset—on being a dad or mum. (You’ve thought of it, although. I do know you will have.)

Just like you possibly can’t cease displaying up for work and count on to not get fired. Or “take a break” from being married and never wind up divorced.

Generally, in relation to life, we all know we’re not at all times going to be on our A Game. Sometimes we’re superstars. Most of the time we simply do our greatest.

We muddle via. We hold going.

So why will we count on it to be any totally different with health?

In my case, above, I employed a coach and we got here up with a easy exercise program that met these standards:

No greater than 3x every week.

No greater than 10 minutes per session.

Has to be achieved upon waking up, proper subsequent to the mattress.

Requires no tools.

I did that for about 6 months. Was it the Best Workout Ever? No! Did I find yourself, after 6 months, fitter than ever? Heck no!

But was it higher than hitting the pause button and doing nothing? You guess!

See, perfectionism just isn't the purpose.

“Completing” a program, PN Coaching or some other, just isn't the purpose.

Being the “best” for a tiny window of time just isn't the purpose.

The level is to maintain going. Sometimes awkwardly, generally incompetently, generally downright half-assed. But to maintain going nonetheless.

As I typically educate our new purchasers:

The “all or nothing” mentality not often will get us “all”. It normally will get us “nothing”.

That’s once I suggest a brand new mantra:

“Always something”.

Instead of urgent pause, modify the dial.

Nowadays I like to think about my health and vitamin efforts as a dial.

There are instances once I need to dial my efforts up, and instances once I need to dial them down. But I by no means need to flip the dial off utterly.

Here’s how this performs out within the context of my life.

Sometimes, say once I’m coaching for a observe competitors or concentrating on a selected aim, my health dial is perhaps tuned to 9 or 10 out of 10.

Channel 10 means I work out every single day. Every meal is deliberate and punctiliously thought-about. I believe quite a bit about health. And not a lot about anything.

Work, household, hobbies… they’re all in upkeep mode (with the permission of the folks this impacts, after all).

However, as I write this, my life includes the next:

Settling into a brand new residence.

Conducting main residence renovations.

Raising four kids, one in every of them nonetheless a child.

Running a rising enterprise with practically 100 workforce members.

So today, the dial not often goes previous three or four. I work out, possibly, three days every week. And most of my meals are simply “good enough”.

(For the file, I’m completely cool with that. There isn't any guilt about having my dial set slightly decrease. What’s most necessary is that the dial remains to be set to “on”.)

The necessary lesson: There’s a giant distinction between tuning your dial to three, 2, or perhaps a 1, and turning the entire thing off.

And once you understand how doable—and efficient—channels three and a pair of and 1 may be, you see that there’s by no means an excellent cause to hit “pause”.

I get it. It’s simple to low cost the decrease channels. Especially once you’ve achieved extra previously. But keep in mind your new mantra…

“Always something.”

Precision Nutrition Coaching graduate Susan Olding was coping with a household disaster throughout this system: Her dad grew to become in poor health and ultimately handed away.

Susan may have given up when her dad was sick. Asked for a pause. And nobody would have blamed her.

Instead, she challenged herself to embrace imperfection and do one thing every single day:

Each day, I requested myself: If I can’t do what was requested of me, what can I do? What can I handle (bodily, emotionally, mentally) now?

Then I went and did it.

Meanwhile, I additionally tried so as to add spontaneous exercise into my days. I paced the hospital halls, parked at a distance and walked to the hospital door. I went for night walks.

Anything to remain energetic.

I keep in mind Susan telling me concerning the random units of squats she did within the nook of her dad’s hospital room whereas he was resting.

Susan’s takeaway:

Perfection by no means occurs in actual life.

We’re at all times going to be doing the perfect we are able to with what now we have.

And that’s okay.

We can nonetheless make progress towards our targets and nonetheless enhance our well being and our health—no matter’s occurring in our lives.

That progress doesn’t occur for those who “press pause” and look forward to a greater time.

It doesn’t occur for those who say “I’ll squat again once the Dad situation resolves itself”. Or for those who ask for a re-do subsequent week, subsequent month, subsequent yr.

“Fitness in the context of real human life”.

That’s one in every of our mottos right here at Precision Nutrition.

It’s what I believe we’re the perfect on the planet at: Helping purchasers be wholesome and match within the context of their actual lives.

Not whereas pretending to be somebody they’re not. Not by signing up for a 12-week boot camp with every day exercises and restrictive diets.

But by dwelling their very own lives and working towards “always something”.

In my opinion, urgent pause is shopping for into an imaginary superb: a “perfect” time when all the pieces will fall into place; a ravishing, linear trajectory from whole suckiness to apex awesomeness:

Asking for a restart since you don’t need to mess that line up is deluding your self that one way or the other, subsequent time shall be simpler. Next time shall be good. No interruptions, no distractions… no… life.

Unfortunately, there isn't a good time.

We could have magical moments, after all. Short durations of time when issues appear to “click” and are available collectively.

But then the canine poops on the rug. Or the child throws up on the sofa. Or each… after which one or the opposite tracks all of it via the home.

You hold urgent pause, and your progress seems to be like this.

Or, worse but, you find yourself flatlining, caught on a unending (possibly everlasting) pause.

What to do subsequent.

Fitness within the context of actual human life is rather like the remainder of life.

We’re all simply doing the perfect we are able to in difficult, sophisticated circumstances. We are all dwelling messy, imperfect lives. We are all human.

If we are able to simply hold shifting ahead, it doesn't matter what occurs, no pause buttons, no do-overs, we win the sport.

Here are a number of methods for getting out of the pause-button mentality and right into a extra real looking, efficient, sustainable mind-set.

1. Try the dial technique.

Think of your health like a dial that goes from 1 – 10.

If you had been to dial it as much as “10”…

What would your exercises appear like?

What would your vitamin appear like?

What different actions/habits would you follow in that state of affairs?

If you had been to dial it right down to “1”…

What would your exercises appear like?

What would your vitamin appear like?

What different actions/habits would you follow in that state of affairs?

Giving thought to your life proper now, the place is your dial set?

Would you prefer to make any changes?

Could you progress the dial up a channel, and even half a channel?

If so, what would that appear like?

On the opposite hand…

Should you progress the dial down a channel so you possibly can follow well being and health even throughout a troublesome time?

2. Aim for slightly bit higher.

An all-or-nothing strategy normally doesn’t get us “all”. It normally will get us “nothing”.

You know what really works?

Small enhancements achieved persistently over time work—now we have proof within the over 100,000 purchasers we’ve helped via Precision Nutrition Coaching technique.

You is perhaps making an attempt to make a meal out of hospital cafeteria meals, or fuel station meals, or airplane meals. You is perhaps spending hours awake with a new child in the course of the night time, or caught in one more full-day assembly.

These aren’t superb situations, however they’re not essentially hopeless both.

Look round. Get inventive. See if you could find some small—possibly minuscule—enhancements.

three. Anticipate, strategize and plan.

Since we already know that stuff goes to go unsuitable, the perfect factor we are able to do is anticipate and make plans for learn how to deal after they do.

A easy manner to do that is by answering two questions:

What’s more likely to get in the way in which of what I hope to perform?

What is one thing I can do at the moment to assist me hold going once I face these obstacles?

For some folks, that is perhaps a Sunday ritual the place they prep meals for the week so that they gained’t be scrambling for wholesome meals on busy weeknights. For others, it'd imply having a wholesome meal-delivery service on pace dial.

Don’t be stunned and dismayed when issues go haywire. They will sooner or later. Just arm your self with the perfect instruments and techniques so you possibly can keep within the sport once you’re thrown a curveball.

If you’re a coach, otherwise you need to be…

Learning learn how to coach purchasers, sufferers, pals, or members of the family via wholesome consuming and life-style adjustments—in a manner that helps them make constant progress even when life will get sophisticated—is each an artwork and a science.

If you’d prefer to study extra about each, think about the Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification. The subsequent group kicks off shortly.

What’s all of it about?

The Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification is the world’s most revered vitamin schooling program. It offers you the information, methods, and instruments it's worthwhile to actually perceive how meals influences an individual’s well being and health. Plus the power to show that information right into a thriving teaching follow.

Developed over 15 years, and confirmed with over 100,000 purchasers and sufferers, the Level 1 curriculum stands alone because the authority on the science of vitamin and the artwork of teaching.

Whether you’re already mid-career, or simply beginning out, the Level 1 Certification is your springboard to a deeper understanding of vitamin, the authority to educate it, and the skill to show what you realize into outcomes.

[Of course, if you’re already a student or graduate of the Level 1 Certification, check out our Level 2 Certification Master Class. It’s an exclusive, year-long mentorship designed for elite professionals looking to master the art of coaching and be part of the top 1% of health and fitness coaches in the world.]

Interested? Add your identify to the presale record. You’ll save as much as 30% and safe your spot 24 hours earlier than everybody else.

We’ll be opening up spots in our subsequent Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification on Wednesday, April eighth, 2020.

If you need to discover out extra, we’ve arrange the next presale record, which supplies you two benefits.

Pay lower than everybody else. We prefer to reward people who find themselves keen to spice up their credentials and are able to decide to getting the schooling they want. So we’re providing a reduction of as much as 30% off the overall worth once you join the presale record.

Sign up 24 hours earlier than most people and enhance your possibilities of getting a spot. We solely open the certification program twice per yr. Due to excessive demand, spots in this system are restricted and have traditionally bought out in a matter of hours. But once you join the presale record, we’ll provide the alternative to register a full 24 hours earlier than anybody else.

If you’re prepared for a deeper understanding of vitamin, the authority to educate it, and the skill to show what you realize into outcomes… that is your probability to see what the world’s prime skilled vitamin teaching system can do for you.

Why the “pause-button mentality” is ruining your well being and health. ‘Getting a fresh start’ isn’t the magic bullet you thought it’d be. is republished from Weight Loss Fitness

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Why the “pause-button mentality” is ruining your well being and health. ‘Getting a fresh start’ isn’t the magic bullet you thought it’d be.

“I’ll resume healthy eating after my vacation… once the baby is born… after Dad gets out of the hospital… January 1… Monday.” While this sort of “pause-button mentality” appears affordable, it might be ruining your well being and health. Here’s why, and what to do about it.

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There’s a query that’s been discovering its method to me a LOT recently—from Precision Nutrition Coaching purchasers, Certification college students, ProCoaches.

“Why don’t your programs offer a ‘pause’ feature?”

After all, what’s the hurt in letting purchasers/sufferers take a break from a vitamin and health plan after they’re:

leaving for trip,

utterly swamped at work,

pregnant, or simply after supply,

injured, or

caring for an ailing member of the family?

For a consumer, the thought course of boils right down to:

If I miss some exercises, eat the unsuitable issues, skip the homework… I fail.

Aren’t I extra more likely to succeed if I take a break, simply till I’ve the time to do it proper?

This is what I name the ‘pause-button mentality’.

Now, don’t get me unsuitable.

I believe it’s regular—even commendable—to need to do your finest. To think about taking time to regroup after which resume (or begin over) when life feels simpler.

At the identical time, this utterly pure and well-meaning impulse is likely one of the quickest, surest, most dependable methods to sabotage your plans for improved vitamin, well being, and health.

Here’s why—and what to do as an alternative.

Starting contemporary after you lose your manner is a extremely comforting thought.

That’s most likely why New Year’s resolutions are so standard, particularly following the indulgence-fueled vacation season.

Give me that cheesecake. I’ll choose my weight loss plan again up on Monday!

In truth, we’ve discovered in our vitamin teaching packages that the concept of a do-over is so alluring you don’t even want a mess-up for the pause-button mentality to take over.

Every January, we welcome a brand new group of purchasers. Every July, we take within the second, and ultimate, group of the yr.

In July, six months in, simply realizing that there are new purchasers beginning this system contemporary in January makes some July purchasers “itch” for a brand new starting, despite the fact that they’re already making progress, altering their our bodies.

If solely you’d let me begin over, I’d actually nail it this time!

But right here’s the issue: The pause-button mentality solely builds the talent of pausing.

Whether it’s tomorrow, Monday, subsequent week, and even subsequent yr, hitting that imaginary pause button offers you some sense of aid.

It permits you slightly respite from what could be a actually robust slog.

(And the center is at all times a troublesome slog, it doesn’t matter what sort of venture you’re engaged on.)

This perceived aid is compounded by the phantasm that if we “start fresh” later we are able to discover the magical “right time” to start.

Listen, I get it.

It can really feel absurd to attempt to enhance your consuming and train habits whilst you’re within the midst of persistent stress / on the lookout for a job / beginning a brand new job / occurring trip / caring for ageing mother and father / elevating young children.

That’s most likely why there are such a lot of 21-day this and 90-day that. What grownup has greater than 90 days to go after their health targets with an all-out effort?

But what do these intense health sprints educate you?

The talent of getting match inside a really quick (and utterly non-representative) interval of your life.

What don’t they educate you?

The talent of getting match (or staying match) within the midst of a standard, sophisticated, “how it really is” kind of life.

This is why the yo-yo weight loss plan factor has develop into such a phenomenon.

It’s not about willpower. It’s about expertise.

In most health situations, you learn to get match beneath bizarre, tightly-controlled, white-knuckle life conditions.

You construct that one, solitary, non-transferrable talent—to slam the fuel pedal down, drive the needle into the crimson, and squeal down the highway for a short time, burning the rubber off your tires till you (shortly) run out of fuel and crash.

What you don’t construct is the power to get match beneath real-life situations.

That’s why it doesn’t stick. Not since you suck.

But as a result of the pure and predictable consequence of getting a restricted talent set is short-term progress adopted instantly by long-term frustration.

What shall be totally different subsequent time?

I keep in mind having lunch with a colleague who swore up and down that his low-carb weight loss plan plus every day working was the key to staying in form.

I needed to comply with up with a painful query: “Well, why aren’t you actually in shape?”

After a protracted pause: “Uhh, I’ve had a hard time sticking with it. We just had our second child. The holidays just ended. I just switched jobs.” He trailed off…

“But, once everything settles down, I’ll get with the program and get in shape again! I guess I’m just on a little break.”

This story illustrates the purpose completely.

Here’s somebody who’s constructed his health on a home of playing cards. He is aware of just one factor: How to get in form by following a really difficult program when the situations are good.

And each time life isn’t good, which is more often than not, he hits the pause button. He waits for a greater time. (All the whereas dropping the well being and health he beforehand labored so onerous for.)

That’s why, when our purchasers ask to press pause, we normally ask them:

“What will be different when you come back?”

Nine instances out of 10, the trustworthy reply is nothing. Nothing shall be totally different.

Life is simply… taking place. And it’ll occur once more in January, or after the infant is born, or after Mom will get higher, or at some other arbitrary level you choose.

And what then?

I’ve needed to press “pause” myself.

If you’ve ever felt like urgent pause, otherwise you really feel this manner proper now, it’d assist to know I’ve felt precisely the identical manner.

Just a few years again, my spouse and I made a decision to renovate a house. During the reno, we lived in a tiny condo above my in-laws’ storage. At the time I used to be additionally beginning up Precision Nutrition.

Every day we’d get up and get straight to work. At the top of the day, we’d drive 1 ½ hours to the brand new home to chip away on the reno. Then, late at night time, we’d drive 1 ½ hours again and fall into mattress. Repeat.

At first, I assumed there was no method to train. My schedule was utterly packed, I had nowhere to work out, and my consuming was lower than superb.

But after a few weeks I noticed that one thing was going to be higher than nothing.

The renovations would proceed. Running a enterprise would solely get extra demanding. And we had been planning to have our first youngster.

I noticed I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t press pause. Because, if I didn’t proceed, there’d by no means be that “perfect time” to hit play once more.

I wanted to discover a method to squeeze in some form of exercise, nevertheless fast, simple, and unglamorous.

Let’s settle for that life has no pause button.

The key lesson right here is that, prefer it or not, the sport of life retains going.

There isn’t any timeout.

There’s by no means going to be a second when issues are magically simpler.

You can’t escape work, private, and household calls for. Nor are you able to escape the necessity for well being and health in your life.

Here’s a thought experiment:

What for those who tried to hit pause in different areas of your life?

Imagine you’re up for a giant promotion at work. For the following two weeks, all you need to do is give attention to mastering an upcoming presentation, and successful over your boss.

Trouble is, you’ve obtained two younger kids at residence who have a tendency to know, koala-like, onto your legs and demand your full consideration.

Honey, you say to your partner, I’m simply gonna press pause on being a dad or mum for now. I’ll be staying at a lodge. Don’t contact me.

I don’t learn about you, however that might NOT go over nicely in my household.

You can’t actually press pause—and also you undoubtedly can’t hit reset—on being a dad or mum. (You’ve thought of it, although. I do know you will have.)

Just like you possibly can’t cease displaying up for work and count on to not get fired. Or “take a break” from being married and never wind up divorced.

Generally, in relation to life, we all know we’re not at all times going to be on our A Game. Sometimes we’re superstars. Most of the time we simply do our greatest.

We muddle via. We hold going.

So why will we count on it to be any totally different with health?

In my case, above, I employed a coach and we got here up with a easy exercise program that met these standards:

No greater than 3x every week.

No greater than 10 minutes per session.

Has to be achieved upon waking up, proper subsequent to the mattress.

Requires no tools.

I did that for about 6 months. Was it the Best Workout Ever? No! Did I find yourself, after 6 months, fitter than ever? Heck no!

But was it higher than hitting the pause button and doing nothing? You guess!

See, perfectionism just isn’t the purpose.

“Completing” a program, PN Coaching or some other, just isn’t the purpose.

Being the “best” for a tiny window of time just isn’t the purpose.

The level is to maintain going. Sometimes awkwardly, generally incompetently, generally downright half-assed. But to maintain going nonetheless.

As I typically educate our new purchasers:

The “all or nothing” mentality not often will get us “all”. It normally will get us “nothing”.

That’s once I suggest a brand new mantra:

“Always something”.

Instead of urgent pause, modify the dial.

Nowadays I like to think about my health and vitamin efforts as a dial.

There are instances once I need to dial my efforts up, and instances once I need to dial them down. But I by no means need to flip the dial off utterly.

Here’s how this performs out within the context of my life.

Sometimes, say once I’m coaching for a observe competitors or concentrating on a selected aim, my health dial is perhaps tuned to 9 or 10 out of 10.

Channel 10 means I work out every single day. Every meal is deliberate and punctiliously thought-about. I believe quite a bit about health. And not a lot about anything.

Work, household, hobbies… they’re all in upkeep mode (with the permission of the folks this impacts, after all).

However, as I write this, my life includes the next:

Settling into a brand new residence.

Conducting main residence renovations.

Raising four kids, one in every of them nonetheless a child.

Running a rising enterprise with practically 100 workforce members.

So today, the dial not often goes previous three or four. I work out, possibly, three days every week. And most of my meals are simply “good enough”.

(For the file, I’m completely cool with that. There isn’t any guilt about having my dial set slightly decrease. What’s most necessary is that the dial remains to be set to “on”.)

The necessary lesson: There’s a giant distinction between tuning your dial to three, 2, or perhaps a 1, and turning the entire thing off.

And once you understand how doable—and efficient—channels three and a pair of and 1 may be, you see that there’s by no means an excellent cause to hit “pause”.

I get it. It’s simple to low cost the decrease channels. Especially once you’ve achieved extra previously. But keep in mind your new mantra…

“Always something.”

Precision Nutrition Coaching graduate Susan Olding was coping with a household disaster throughout this system: Her dad grew to become in poor health and ultimately handed away.

Susan may have given up when her dad was sick. Asked for a pause. And nobody would have blamed her.

Instead, she challenged herself to embrace imperfection and do one thing every single day:

Each day, I requested myself: If I can’t do what was requested of me, what can I do? What can I handle (bodily, emotionally, mentally) now?

Then I went and did it.

Meanwhile, I additionally tried so as to add spontaneous exercise into my days. I paced the hospital halls, parked at a distance and walked to the hospital door. I went for night walks.

Anything to remain energetic.

I keep in mind Susan telling me concerning the random units of squats she did within the nook of her dad’s hospital room whereas he was resting.

Susan’s takeaway:

Perfection by no means occurs in actual life.

We’re at all times going to be doing the perfect we are able to with what now we have.

And that’s okay.

We can nonetheless make progress towards our targets and nonetheless enhance our well being and our health—no matter’s occurring in our lives.

That progress doesn’t occur for those who “press pause” and look forward to a greater time.

It doesn’t occur for those who say “I’ll squat again once the Dad situation resolves itself”. Or for those who ask for a re-do subsequent week, subsequent month, subsequent yr.

“Fitness in the context of real human life”.

That’s one in every of our mottos right here at Precision Nutrition.

It’s what I believe we’re the perfect on the planet at: Helping purchasers be wholesome and match within the context of their actual lives.

Not whereas pretending to be somebody they’re not. Not by signing up for a 12-week boot camp with every day exercises and restrictive diets.

But by dwelling their very own lives and working towards “always something”.

In my opinion, urgent pause is shopping for into an imaginary superb: a “perfect” time when all the pieces will fall into place; a ravishing, linear trajectory from whole suckiness to apex awesomeness:

Asking for a restart since you don’t need to mess that line up is deluding your self that one way or the other, subsequent time shall be simpler. Next time shall be good. No interruptions, no distractions… no… life.

Unfortunately, there isn’t a good time.

We could have magical moments, after all. Short durations of time when issues appear to “click” and are available collectively.

But then the canine poops on the rug. Or the child throws up on the sofa. Or each… after which one or the opposite tracks all of it via the home.

You hold urgent pause, and your progress seems to be like this.

Or, worse but, you find yourself flatlining, caught on a unending (possibly everlasting) pause.

What to do subsequent.

Fitness within the context of actual human life is rather like the remainder of life.

We’re all simply doing the perfect we are able to in difficult, sophisticated circumstances. We are all dwelling messy, imperfect lives. We are all human.

If we are able to simply hold shifting ahead, it doesn’t matter what occurs, no pause buttons, no do-overs, we win the sport.

Here are a number of methods for getting out of the pause-button mentality and right into a extra real looking, efficient, sustainable mind-set.

1. Try the dial technique.

Think of your health like a dial that goes from 1 – 10.

If you had been to dial it as much as “10”…

What would your exercises appear like?

What would your vitamin appear like?

What different actions/habits would you follow in that state of affairs?

If you had been to dial it right down to “1”…

What would your exercises appear like?

What would your vitamin appear like?

What different actions/habits would you follow in that state of affairs?

Giving thought to your life proper now, the place is your dial set?

Would you prefer to make any changes?

Could you progress the dial up a channel, and even half a channel?

If so, what would that appear like?

On the opposite hand…

Should you progress the dial down a channel so you possibly can follow well being and health even throughout a troublesome time?

2. Aim for slightly bit higher.

An all-or-nothing strategy normally doesn’t get us “all”. It normally will get us “nothing”.

You know what really works?

Small enhancements achieved persistently over time work—now we have proof within the over 100,000 purchasers we’ve helped via Precision Nutrition Coaching technique.

You is perhaps making an attempt to make a meal out of hospital cafeteria meals, or fuel station meals, or airplane meals. You is perhaps spending hours awake with a new child in the course of the night time, or caught in one more full-day assembly.

These aren’t superb situations, however they’re not essentially hopeless both.

Look round. Get inventive. See if you could find some small—possibly minuscule—enhancements.

three. Anticipate, strategize and plan.

Since we already know that stuff goes to go unsuitable, the perfect factor we are able to do is anticipate and make plans for learn how to deal after they do.

A easy manner to do that is by answering two questions:

What’s more likely to get in the way in which of what I hope to perform?

What is one thing I can do at the moment to assist me hold going once I face these obstacles?

For some folks, that is perhaps a Sunday ritual the place they prep meals for the week so that they gained’t be scrambling for wholesome meals on busy weeknights. For others, it’d imply having a wholesome meal-delivery service on pace dial.

Don’t be stunned and dismayed when issues go haywire. They will sooner or later. Just arm your self with the perfect instruments and techniques so you possibly can keep within the sport once you’re thrown a curveball.

If you’re a coach, otherwise you need to be…

Learning learn how to coach purchasers, sufferers, pals, or members of the family via wholesome consuming and life-style adjustments—in a manner that helps them make constant progress even when life will get sophisticated—is each an artwork and a science.

If you’d prefer to study extra about each, think about the Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification. The subsequent group kicks off shortly.

What’s all of it about?

The Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification is the world’s most revered vitamin schooling program. It offers you the information, methods, and instruments it’s worthwhile to actually perceive how meals influences an individual’s well being and health. Plus the power to show that information right into a thriving teaching follow.

Developed over 15 years, and confirmed with over 100,000 purchasers and sufferers, the Level 1 curriculum stands alone because the authority on the science of vitamin and the artwork of teaching.

Whether you’re already mid-career, or simply beginning out, the Level 1 Certification is your springboard to a deeper understanding of vitamin, the authority to educate it, and the skill to show what you realize into outcomes.

[Of course, if you’re already a student or graduate of the Level 1 Certification, check out our Level 2 Certification Master Class. It’s an exclusive, year-long mentorship designed for elite professionals looking to master the art of coaching and be part of the top 1% of health and fitness coaches in the world.]

Interested? Add your identify to the presale record. You’ll save as much as 30% and safe your spot 24 hours earlier than everybody else.

We’ll be opening up spots in our subsequent Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification on Wednesday, April eighth, 2020.

If you need to discover out extra, we’ve arrange the next presale record, which supplies you two benefits.

Pay lower than everybody else. We prefer to reward people who find themselves keen to spice up their credentials and are able to decide to getting the schooling they want. So we’re providing a reduction of as much as 30% off the overall worth once you join the presale record.

Sign up 24 hours earlier than most people and enhance your possibilities of getting a spot. We solely open the certification program twice per yr. Due to excessive demand, spots in this system are restricted and have traditionally bought out in a matter of hours. But once you join the presale record, we’ll provide the alternative to register a full 24 hours earlier than anybody else.

If you’re prepared for a deeper understanding of vitamin, the authority to educate it, and the skill to show what you realize into outcomes… that is your probability to see what the world’s prime skilled vitamin teaching system can do for you.

The post Why the “pause-button mentality” is ruining your well being and health. ‘Getting a fresh start’ isn’t the magic bullet you thought it’d be. appeared first on Weight Loss Fitness.

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