#i was kinda slightly really worried over how much of this stuff I'd lost right after my drive went kaput

[kaiowut99]

Project Updates

In which I mention some back-end issues that've slowed down some GX-sub finalizing and more while thinking out loud

(tl;dr recreating a bunch of stuff due to an SSD failure, but not starting from zero)

Heya!

So, aside from life being a bit busy, my laptop's SSD gave out on me a few weeks back--came back from the office after leaving it on Sleep Mode and it refused to boot into Windows, joy--and despite my best Google efforts and seeking out some professional help, I've essentially lost everything I'd had on that drive, as I hadn't backed up most of it in a good while (and stupidly didn't have OneDrive or something enabled...). I bought a new SSD and reinstalled Windows on it, so we're good to go overall--especially now that I've enabled OneDrive for running backups--but aside from the personal files that I lost (photos, music I hadn't backed up but is on my phone, work/college stuff I'd saved for reference and budgeting stuff, and videos and things I'd carried over from my last drive), this means I also lost most of my more recent raw work with my finalized GX subs, as well as the Sony Vegas project files I'd been steadily working on "dub-uncut" GX episodes with, and sub files I'd saved for the DM uncut episodes that I'd meant to get around to creating MKVs with and some 5D's or ARC-V stuff (the latter being some prepwork I'd set up when I was preparing to give it a go before Crunchyroll announced their subs lol).

(Going to be more thinking-out-loud below, bear with me)

Now, things aren't as bad as they were when I was first worried about the losses--my released GX work (hardsubs, DVDrips, sub scripts, and MKV softsubs thus far) have been up on a MEGA account, which I've posted on NAC, as well as my second hard drive (and since I'd kept the newer sub styles within the script files, I have those again), as have been the 5D's "dub-uncut" episodes I worked on and released (along with the Duel Links lines that've helped those); the Astral_Union GX DVD rips I work from have been on a third external drive that I'd been copying over gradually as I progressed with finalizing my subs, with the Season 1 DVDRips I prepared for timing lines backed up on my second; I was able to recover most (1-167) of my raw GX sub files from way back since I'd shared them from my Mediafire account with a Janime/NAC user I'd interact often with who wanted to translate them into German, while I recovered 168-180 from tmjem20010 on NAC who'd retimed them for the Astral_Union DVD rips; I'd had the script files for GX OP1 up on my Google Drive, with 99% and Wake Up Your Heart's from the Seven Stars arc I think on my external; the videos from 99% V2 in Season 2 that I'd edited with the English names/nameless/etc had been backed up on my external; I'd uploaded the textless WUYH video I'd sub the credits onto to my MEGA; 90% of my YGO videos were on my second drive and external; and I just finished giving my finalized episodes thus far a second third ... sixth (maybe) finalizing polish, so even with what I lost, I hopefully have no further reason to go back to them, lol.

As for what I lost overall:

My running sub files for 99% and WUYH's Season 2 OP/EN credits that I'd then encode onto the respective videos--but having recovered the S1 versions, I'm currently working to recreate these, and it'll just be a bit more on the annoying side to do for WUYH especially, but... eh, what can you do at this point 🤷🏽‍♂️ I also did lose my Photoshop file with the edit I did to translate Chronos's Interim Principal placard, which is a bit ill-timed since I hoped to reuse the exact styling for it in episode 84--hopefully with some editing I can just slap on the edit there and make it look spiffy, lol.

My running GX title screen and Preview subs--which I'd use to translate the episode title cards and "Preview"/episode title texts in the next-episode previews. Should only be a matter of applying the Title Screen style in my style catalog and positioning per the completed title cards and previews I've done from my newest releases, so once I do a basic recreation, I'll take it episode by episode.

My most recent raw sub files for finalized 1-83, but as I have the released scripts saved, and having re-finalized them again recently, this is mostly a non-issue. The only thing that'll be annoying is having to recreate ATK/DEF counter subs if I were to have to revisit due to missing an inconsistency in some lines (as I release the scripts without the ATK/DEF counter subs), but hopefully at this point there's no need.

My sub files for the "Just After This!" preview segments after the preview leading to the Best Card showcase--shouldn't be too hard to redo since I think I just used Arial, rotated the text, and recolored lol.

My sub file for the Best Card showcase itself, as well as the running Vegas project file I had going to create a blank showcase bit that I'd then encode the translated card descriptions onto for each episode. I'll have to redo the still shot I'd been using to mask the card of the day onto (I could use a still from a bit I'd already done before, but those have been reencoded and have some video noise in them as a result, so they're not the best to work with from the onset), and then redo the subs themselves...

My retimed/touched-up sub files gifted to me by Jake759 on NAC (who'd helped with the textless title cards, which I'd also thankfully had backed up) as I was close to finishing Season 4 which I'd based my finalized subs on to save some time--I did send him a DM on NAC hoping to get a reupload as the download link expired, but I don't think he's as active nowadays, so I'll likely just work with tmjem20010's retimed subs. (An issue will come by 168, since only my raw sub files have the ATK/DEF subs on the counters, so I'll have to redo those.)

My older fixes/edits applied during my finalizing run thus far with episodes 1-83, including two fixes I'd held onto for use in 105 during flashbacks to Judai vs Ed II and the Mizuchi duel, as well as the newer Season 2 DVDRips I'd prepared for timing that would include the translation edits for the released hardsubs (Season 1's backed up on my second drive); luckily, given that re-finalizing [x6] run recently, I shouldn't be needing any of these anymore (I'd held onto them "just in case," but I was probably able to just delete them anyway lol), and I had posted about the edits here, so I should be able to grab those images if needed. I can grab those two fixes from the released DVDRips too

DM-Related: The sub files I used for the DM uncut-dub episodes I posted here, which I'd planned to make MKVs with, as well as the OP/EN subs for Voice and Energizing Shower--I did ultimately make an MKV for episode 1 which includes the sub file that I edited for release, but it should have those styles, so it shouldn't be too hard to work with in Aegisub.

Other GX-Related: Had slowly been prepping "dub-uncut" edits for episode 98 that was nearly ready and I was about to start quality-checking (had also been prepping one for 61), but lost those Vegas project files, as well as some support files from yugidmx5 and a new edit I made for Mark de Groot's 99% English cover to a proper rip of the TV-size version--definitely still want to "dub-uncut" episodes 98-100 tho, along with some others.

5D's-Related: -Biggest one is all of my 5D's comparisons that I'd had it in mind to finally reupload onto a site; as my last domain on Bluehost expired, I don't have those backups anymore, nor do I have the raw text files I'd worked from... Luckily, one of my previous sites is still accessible through Wayback Machine, so hopefully wouldn't be too hard to nab those. -A lot of the prepwork I did with the "dub-uncut" edits that I'd held onto for potential future use, mainly voice-isolated dub lines and the Vegas project files for dub-uncut 21-25 and 27-29 (26's I luckily DM'd to someone on NAC who was curious lol), as well as some stuff yugidmx5 helped me with [he's mostly cleared those off his MEGA account, so I'll need to DM him about those]; some of those isolated lines are on my second drive, and now that I have Ultimate Vocal Remover finally working, maybe I'll be able to make more of those happen for fun--and also might have my eye on trying to buster-mode out something new sometime 🤔 -Some saved 5D's sub files I'd edited, including TnKP's for 1-79 and the others Horoko did there, from a while back, but those are backed up on my external, so it shouldn't be too bad to dabble with those.

ARC-V-Related: -The prepwork I'd done for potentially subbing ARC-V, like my translated BelieveXBelieve and One Step, but the final versions are at least backed up on YouTube or Videa [if private], and I have the original scripts I worked from thanks to Jake759 that I may repurpose (I actually want to try subbing the cast specials on the DVDs sometime soon for fun, too). Luckily, I'd had the textless title card video backed up on Google Drive because holy hell, that was a lot to edit. -Vegas project files for a "dub-uncut" episode 10 (video of half of which is up here); may potentially recreate. -Some comparisons I worked on for a couple of episodes, which I did ultimately post here for the most part, lighter work effort than the 5D's ones. -Otherwise not too much lost since my ARC-V material was almost exclusively on my second drive.

Miscellaneous: -Need to re-download most of the OST soundtracks and other YGO stuff, some fonts I used in my subs or editing in Photoshop, some programs, and some other more minor stuff. -At least had an older backup of my Song Translations that I'll have to build up a bit from what I've posted here, but may have a bit to redo or retranslate... -Lost my Notes textfile in which I'd been cataloguing some project rambles/ideas and potential fixes/edits I'd be working on, with other things. -Lost my project files for my 5D's!DBZKai edits for episodes 1-5, though I did mean to reboot that with DBKai Recut as a base; may try to revisit sometime for fun, since I did like mixing 5D's' OST into DBKai.

So, yeah... Long story short, I'm not starting totally from zero in trying to get myself back on track in terms of that GX work, at least. While waiting to hear back on my drive's potential data recovery, I also started some work on 84-86 by preparing their OPs and preview videos to have that ready. As mentioned, I'm currently recreating my 99% subs per finalized!83, then I'll likely recreate WUYH's, along with the title card and preview sub files, then tackle the Best Card bit. Adds a bit of time to when I'd hoped to have 84 done and then take that light breather, but I guess I got the breather anyway lol (did get some Breath of the Wild in at least!). I'll probably give myself a day off from work sometime soon to try and get a lot of that out of the way all at once, but stay tuned; hopefully I'll be finalizing episode 84 proper within the next week or two.

[i-run-with-a-wolfpack]

One Question♡ Paul

Pairing: Paul Lahote and fem reader [OC]

Warning: mature language and sexual situations

1 part complete

Words: 2,138

One Question

"One question...are you going somewhere?"

I sighed deeply.  Freezing rain was pelting my car, the trees were painted with ice, and the sky was gloomy.  Every surface was covered and it kept coming down. I noticed the power line sagging under the weight of it all and I wondered how much longer before it snapped and we lost power.  Well, he lost power. I don't live here. 

"Well?" Paul prompted from the other side of the room.

I drew a heart on the window pane in the fog that my breath has created.  I didn't know why I drew a heart. It wasn't like I knew what love is. Sure we said 'I love you,' but if we didn't act like it, then did we really?

I turned slowly to find Paul reclining on the couch, soft black flannel pajama pants resting beautifully low on his trim hips. No shirt.  God, did he ever wear a shirt? Hardly ever. In fact, it was weird to see him wear one.

My eyes travelled up to his face.  That fucking smirk pissed me off. But it was there.

We've been fighting since yesterday, maybe longer.  Really it's just the same fight as always. It's about the only thing we ever argue about.

Don't talk to other guys. Period.

I knew this by now.  After he revealed to me several months ago, that I was his imprint, it didn't take long to realize that Paul was possessive with a capital "P."

But this particular fight started at the grocery store.  Once I heard there was winter storm coming, most likely nothing but a downpour of ice, I knew I needed supplies.  The chances of getting back out in this were slim and now I could see I was right to get the extra bread and milk.  The roads were treacherous and my car was a block of ice.

"It's kinda bad out there, huh?" Paul smiled a little as he rubbed a flattened palm up and over his stomach and back down again.

I sighed deeply and retreated into the kitchen.   Begrudgingly, I yanked different ingredients from the refrigerator and pantry with the intent of making myself a sandwich.  And that dickhead didn't deserve anything. I thought I'd let him starve. 

My mind wandered back to yesterday at the store...where the fight started.  Paul had sauntered over to the magazine aisle, no doubt to peruse the car magazines, leaving me to decide on something for dinner.  In the produce section, I fondled the tomatoes and made my choice. "What I wouldn't give to be that tomato." A voice from behind me whispered.

I turned slightly, noticing the young guy next to me with the amazing smile.  I watched as he lifted heavy sacks of potatoes like they were nothing, hoisting them up to rest in an intricate pyramid in the wooden bin.  He glanced over at me and caught me staring at him as he worked. I had seen him in the store a few times before, but he had never spoken to me.  His voice was nice. "Can I help? Find something, that is."

Then he laughed.  And I laughed. God, I'm a dork.  I grabbed a little container of strawberries and inspected it carefully.  "No.  I'm good," I replied quickly.  

He nodded and moved behind me.  I could feel his eyes on me and his shoulder as he brushed past me.  "Stocking up for the big storm I see," he casually announced as he moved to stand beside my cart.

I smiled a little, thankful there wasn't anything in the cart that I didn't want him to see.  Well, except for…

He zeroed in on exactly what I didn't want him to see and he blushed nervously.  "Well I was gonna say that I hope you have someone to keep you warm tonight...but I guess you already do."

I gave him a tight smile as my eyes darted away from his intense stare. I tossed the strawberries into the cart in a feeble attempt to cover the extra large box of condoms that Paul had tossed in, because I knew I didn't grab them.  Another weird laugh came from me. Dork.

"I really don't think you need to worry about who's keeping her warm tonight...asshole."

I gasped when I felt Paul's fingers tighten around my hips from behind...yesterday and again right now.

"Quit it, Paul," I argued weakly as he pressed against me, trapping me between his towering body and the edge of the counter.  

"That looks good," he observed as he leaned over my me, his breath fanning over my exposed collarbone.  I reached up to adjust my shirt and use it to cover my shoulder as it had slipped down. Paul pushed my hand aside as he reached for my sandwich and took a bite.

I sighed as I began to create another one.  I was hungry too, dammit! I could hear Paul munching in my ear and I could feel drops of chicken salad plop onto my shoulder.  "Sorry about that," he sighed, his voice low and growly.

I stretched my arm across counter to reach the paper towel holder, only to have Paul's large hand encircle my wrist and pull it back to my side.  "Paul…"

I squeezed my eyes shut as his tongue flattened and smoothed over my skin, licking away any remnants of his spilled lunch. I gripped the edge of the counter tightly, pressing my lips together in an effort not to scream.  He's only licking my shoulder, for fuck's sake!

A small whimper began to form in the back of my throat as his teeth grazed the sensitive skin on the side of my neck.  Goosebumps erupted up and down my arms as his stubble brushed my skin. "One question…"

"Hmmm?" I squeaked.

Paul's hands slid up under my thin sweatshirt, climbing up to cup my breasts gently.  My head fell back to rest on his shoulder. His lips curled around my earlobe and I shivered.  "Are you still mad at me?" he breathed.  

"Yes," I replied without hesitation. 

"One question…"

I rolled my eyes and laughed a little. Only because he always said 'one question' and then proceeded to continue asking more, usually asking different versions of the same question until he got the desired answer.

"Can I taste you?"

I squeezed my thighs together and sucked in a deep breath. "Paul…"

"I'll take that as a yes," he declared as he lifted me by my midsection and carried me the short distance to the dining room table. He held my wrists, pressing my hands flat on the wooden surface in front of me.  I panted when I felt him push into me from behind.

"I'm still mad at you," I insisted with a shaky voice.

"So you said, Babydoll," Paul growled as he peeled my leggings and panties down and discarded them.  

I turned in his arms, facing him now, ready to continue our fight.  His eyes were bright with desire, incredibly turned on by my insistence that we argue more.  If I didn't know better, I'd swear he only started these fights with me so we could have the mind-blowing sex that followed. "You embarrassed me at the store yesterday.  You didn't have to be such a dick."

I watched Paul's expression change, suddenly worried that I had gone too far.  He rubbed his hand over his face and sighed. "One question…"

I rolled my eyes and nodded as I yanked on my sweatshirt in a feeble attempt to cover my myself.  "Did you really expect me not to say anything? That kid was hitting on you. Don't you care?" he insisted.

I huffed and scowled at him.  "That's like… two questions."

He laughed and I gasped when he bent down, slid his hands around my thighs and lifted me up onto the table.  His grip on my knees curled behind as he lifted, forcing me to lie back. "You didn't answer my question."

I swallowed thickly when Paul lowered his face and his head disappeared below my shirt.  I could feel his lips on my stomach and my mind went blank. "The question?" I prompted with a shaky voice.

His head popped back up and he leaned in close to my face.  "Don't you care that kid was hitting on you?"

I shook my head quickly. "It doesn't matter, Paul.  I'm with you," I breathed as my hands held his jaw. "Every guy in town can talk to me and it won't change how I feel about you. Don't you know that by now?"

Paul squeezed his eyes shut before yanking me to the edge of the table and disappearing between my thighs.  My back arched when that wide, wet tongue of his worked it's way to my most sensitive place and I had to hold onto the edge of the table.  I panted furiously as his fingers slid inside me and worked in tandem with his mouth to take me to the brink.

I could feel myself teetering close to the edge when I reached for and dug my fingers into his broad shoulders.  That feeling was lost when he slung my legs over his shoulders, wrapped his arms around my thighs and carried me to the living room with my ass resting on his chest, my hair swinging below me as he walked.  I grasped the back of his neck with both hands, holding on for dear life. "Paul! You're gonna drop me," I whimpered.

He knelt down in front of the fireplace, holding me a few feet above the fluffy rug in the center of the room.  "You really think I would drop you, Babydoll?"

My eyes went wide as he let me drop, just to pull me back at the last second.  I squirmed in his arms as he smiled down at me. "I could never hurt you," he insisted as he finally lowered me to the floor all while still nestled between my thighs.

When Paul leaned toward to capture my lips in a kiss, I held a finger to his mouth and I cocked my head.  "Are you ever gonna trust me to be around other men?"

Paul sighed deeply, resting on his elbows with his lips mere inches from mine.  "I do trust you. It's them I don't trust. How could I ever live with myself if let you get away?  You mean everything to me and I...I…"

That's all I needed to hear before closing the distance between us and pressing my lips to his.  "I love you," he mumbled over and over against my mouth.  

I knew it.  I'd known it for months and more than that...I could feel it.  I felt it in the way he protected me, even when I didn't need it.  I felt it in the way he worried over things I didn't even notice. His love for me was all consuming, confusing and most times, overbearing.  But the idea that I wouldn't have him in my life had my heart clenching in fear.

Paul Lahote drove me crazy with his jealousy and 'one question' stuff, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I was his and he was mine.

He gazed down at me when I began tugging on those pajama pants of his.  "You sure?" he questioned breathlessly, his brow furrowing with concern. 

I nodded quickly and laughed when he made quick work of discarding them.  "One question," he smirked as he pulled off my shirt and tossed it near his pants. 

"Okay?" I urged, eager to feel him inside me.

Paul licked his way between my breasts and raised his head to meet my curious eyes.  "Do you love me...want me...as much as I want you?"

I sighed sadly at how insecure my baby boy could be sometimes.  I smiled widely as I reached between us and guided him to enter me. His hips lunged forward and he pressed his forehead to mine, waiting for my reply.  "I love you, Paul. I want you...so much."

His eyes drifted closed and he nodded slowly as we moved together, getting lost in each other.  The sounds of the ice hitting the window and tree branches snapping under the weight of of the furious drizzle that wouldn't let up were all around us. I jumped when the power went out and the house went silent.  The only light in the room coming was from the fireplace and illuminating Paul's beautiful face.  

His eyes snapped open as he continued to move inside me.  "One question…" he began. "Should I stop?"

"Don't you dare," I insisted as I rolled us over and took charge. 

Paul held me tightly against him as we rode out the storm… together.

The End ♡

[lovemychoices]

Before There Was You-5A

TRR x ROE

Three years ago while travelling in Europe, Eve Sommers was involved in a car accident. She woke up from her coma two weeks later with no memory of what happened to her in the past seven months. Three years later and still no recollection about what happened to her before the accident. But all of that is about to change. Will she finally know the truth? Will there be consequences?

*THIS SERIES PRACTICALLY THROWS CANON OUT THE WINDOW* YEET!YEET!

Characters belong to Pixelberry, I am just borrowing them.

Word count : 1800

Chapter Summary: Eve is finally in Cordonia! What are the obstacles she’s going to face? Will she fail or come out victorious?

A/N: This is my first fiction series so it will definitely not be 100% perfect, in other words be kind 😬Grammatical errors are expected 🤣 Feedback and comments are welcomed. If you think this series could be your cup of tea then let me know if you want to be added to the series tag list, also hit that LIKE and REBLOG button if you like what you read.

Catch up with the series HERE

Warning : I’m rating this PG18 cause there will probably be PG18 stuff that’s going to happen in future chapters. So if you read this series you acknowledge that you are 18 and above.

BTWY Tag list: @thecordoniandiaries @leelee10898 @ao719 @annekebbphotography @desiree-0816 @rainbowsinthestorm @emceesynonymroll @the-soot-sprite @carabeth @cora-nova @charliejane-blog @dcbbw @hopefulmoonobject @cmestrella @jlpplays1 @pixieferry @romanticatheart-posts

The ride from the airport to the palace was awfully quiet, Eve was still mad at Drake about what he said back in the jet so she didn’t feel like talking much. Maxwell, who sat between them, could feel the tension that came with the awkward silence. He wondered what happened while he was asleep on the plane, he tried to break the silence with a few of his jokes only to be ignored with more silence.

The SUV starts to pull over as it reaches the main entrance of the palace. Oh thank God Maxwell thought to himself, the silence was killing him. Eve steps out the SUV followed by Maxwell and then Drake. Drake quickly walks away leaving the two at the main entrance.

“Welcome to the Cordonian Royal Palace!” Maxwell beamed excitedly. “This is where we’re going to stay most of the time for the next five months. Come on I’m excited to show you your room!” He says pulling Eve by the hand and taking her into the palace before she could even take in all of her surroundings.

****

Eve enters her room and could not help but be amazed by how big it was, it was maybe four times the size of her room back in New York. The walls were painted a soft ecru colour and paired with gold trimmings. A beautiful giant antique chandelier hung in the middle of the room with a picture of a baby cherubs eating an apple on the ceiling.

“So I assume you have something to where for tonight.” Maxwell asks.

“Huh. Sorry. What?” She shakes her head and turns her attention back to Maxwell.

“You know for the masquerade ball it’s the start of the social season.”

“I’ve packs a few dresses for the occasion but I don't think I have a mask to go with the outfit.”

“That's alright, I’m sure they’ll have some you can borrow in the palace boutique.”

Maxwell's phone buzzes, he reaches for his pocket to see who it could be. “Oh look a text message from Bertrand, I gotta go he wants to see me. You’ll be fine without me till tonight right? He asks cocking an eyebrow.

“Sure…”

“Okay cool, the ball starts at 6 so don’t be late.” He informs her and leaves in a huff.

Eve opens her suitcase to get her dress ready when she realises she doesn’t know where the boutique was. She steps outside of her room to look for Maxwell but he’s already out of sight. She reaches in her pocket for her phone to call him but her battery is dead. Damn it! she thinks. “Oh well, guess I’ll have to find my own way to the boutique.” She murmurs.

A noble woman passes by and Eve tries to ask for some directions. “Excuse me miss, would you mind telling me where I can find the boutique?” She asks politely. The woman takes one look at her and grimaces before walking away, ignoring her question. Okay not much friendly people out here. She thought. lets see if I were a boutique in a big ass palace where would I be? Not paying attention to where she is going she accidentally bumps into someone.

“Oops! Sorry princess, didn’t see you there.” Leo apologises, she turns to face him and when she does he is take aback and eyes go wide open like he’s seeing a ghost from the past. “Eve?”

Eve cocks an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, have we met before?”

***

Three years ago - Paris, France

“Nice to meet you Eve, I’m Leo.” He smiled shaking her hand and she smiled back. “So what brings you this part of town?”

“Well I was actually going to take some photos by the Seine and check out the flea market when I got mobbed on the way.” She answers, her eyes go wide open when she realises she’s supposed to meet Ruby at the Louvre by now. She reaches for her purse but remembered her phone dropped in the river.

“Eve is something wrong?” Leo asked when he noticed she looked a bit worried.

“Um... So this is might sound a little awkward but would you mind if I borrowed your phone for a minute? I dropped mine in the river and I’m supposed to meet a friend at the Louvre right now, she’s probably worried that I haven’t shown up.”

Leo chuckles “I have a better idea, why don’t I take you there instead, it’s only a few minutes away if we take my motorcycle.”

Eve looks at him then at the motorcycle, she’s never ridden a motorcycle before. She bit her lower lip wondering if this was a good idea.

“I promise you it’s perfectly safe, do you trust me?” Leo grinned offering an extra helmet,

“Screw it.” She murmured under her breath and with a smile took the helmet. what could go wrong she thought.

***

“I’m sorry, have we met before?”

Leo doesn’t answer at first his mouth slightly open a look of confusion written all over his face.

“Eve? Is that you?” A familiar voice calls from across the hall. “Liam?” Eve smiles when she sees that it’s him. Liam walks up to her and gives her a long welcoming hug.

“I’ve missed you” He says

Eve closes her eyes taking in the scent of his sandalwood cologne. “I’ve missed you too.” She replies. They pull back a few seconds later. “Sorry I would have called but my phone died.”

“That’s alright as long as you’ve safely arrive, I trust Maxwell had everything in order? Was the plane ride okay?” He asks placing his hand on her shoulders.

“It was fine Liam, more than fine, thank you.”

“That’s good to hear. Oh , where are my manners?” He grins letting go of her. “Eve I'd like to introduce my older brother, Leo.” Liam says motioning Leo at the back.

“Oh you’re Liam's older brother!” Eve beamed, giving him a quick hug taking Leo off guard. She pulls away a few seconds later smiling. “Liam has told me so much about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too Eve” Leo replies with a rueful smile. Of all the people in the world his brother could have fallen for it had to be her. He looked between the two rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah so, I need to go I’m sure you two have a lot of catching up to do.” He says and quickly turned on his heels walking the opposite direction.

Eve cocks an eyebrow as she watches Leo walk away. That was quick? She turns her attention back to Liam. “So... what's next?”

Liam heaves a sigh. “I wish I could stay and take you on a tour of the palace but i have a meeting to attend.” He took his hand in hers. “I’ll make it up to you tonight, I promise.”

“Then I shall be looking forward for tonight.” She grins. “By the way any idea where the boutique is? I kinda need to borrow a mask for the masquerade ball and I have no idea where I’m going.”

Liam chuckles. “It’s just around the corner.” He takes her right hand and kiss her knuckles giving a mischievous look. “Save me a dance tonight?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” She replies with a playful wink. “Until tonight.”

****

Eve stood in front of the mirror making some final adjustments to her dress. She chose to wear a beautiful strapless scarlet red mermaid dress that clung to every curve of her body. She walked towards her dresser where her phone charging to check for any messages she might have missed. 10 miss call and 5 messages from Ruby. Oh crap I forgot to call and let her know I safely arrive Cordonia. Let’s see it’s should be almost noon there so here goes. A few dial tones later..

“Hey Red…”

“Omg! Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you all day! Do you know how worried I was?” Ruby bellowed.

“Yeah sorry, my phone died and I kinda lost track of time.”

“Yeah yeah yeah. At least you called. So how’s Cordonia treating you?”

“Hard to say I’ve only been here a couple hours, there was this really snobby woman I met and oh I did manage to run into Liam and his brother Leo—.”

Ruby spat out her drink when she heard the name. Could it be? Nah maybe it’s just a coincidence there are plenty of European guys out there with the name Leo last name Rys, could there? But just to be sure.

“Hello Red, you still there?”

“Oh yeah sure still here.. Hey Eve you wouldn’t mind sending a photo of Liam’s brother would you?”

“No, why would I have his photo and why do you want one?”

“Oh you know just.. to for some background check…” Ruby stutters

“Right…” Eve replies with a skeptical tone. “I don’t know, trying searching the Royal Archives online or something I’m sure he’s in it. Listen I love to continue this conversation but I’ve got an event I need to get you. Text you later on the details?”

“You’d better…”

They both hang up while Eve continued to get herself ready, Ruby quickly clicks on her googles app on her phone typing the Cordonian royal archives on the search engine. A few clicks later, her eyes go wide open when she finds out it Liam’s brother really is the Leo.

Ruby runs to her room opening her closet and taking out a box which was well hidden inside a secret hole in the wall. She opened the box and takes out a cellphone, which used to belong to Eve. She turns the phone on and looks through Eve’s phone book wondering if Leo still uses the same number. Couldn’t hurt to try.

Leo sat on the ottoman in his room staring up at the ceiling trying to wrap his head around what he just saw. He feels his phone buzzing in his pocket and takes it out, his eye go wide open when he sees the number that was calling. Could it be? Does she remember who I am?

“Hello?”

“You son of a bitch—”

Leo heaves a sigh. “Ruby it’s nice to hear from you again.”

“Listen you! I don’t know what shit you’ve got planned but if you—.”

“If this is about Eve, believe me I was as shocked as you are. And you know I would never do anything to hurt her intentionally ”

“Look I’m not mad at you for what happened in the past, that’s all in the past. But do you think it’s a good idea to be around her? What if she remembers what if she gets hurt again? Can’t you just leave?”

“Believe me I would if I could but I promised my brother I’d be here the entire social season to help him out, if I knew she was the one he was vying for I would have never made that promise and left before this whole thing began.” He shook his head. “Karma really is a little bitch.”

Ruby pinched the bridge of her nose trying to gather her thoughts and calm down. “Loook Leo, I’m sorry if I got all mad and shouted at you earlier on but you know how much I love Eve. I just don’t want her to relive all the pain she went through before a second time.”

“I understand and I promise, I’ll try my best to keep my distance.”

Ruby heaves a sigh. “I’m trusting you Leo.”

“I know…”

****

[procrastinating-story-writer]

Bonds that Bind Us

Summary: Odin ordered for Loki to return to Midgard as punishment to atone for what he did in New York and S.H.I.E.LD agreed.

She was not expecting an assignment such as this to fall on her lap but she had nothing better to do. How bad could it be being Loki's warden?

Pairing: Loki x OFC Omidah Penwinkle

Warnings: multiple chapter story, violence, experimentation, language, angst, just to name a few.

A/N: Hello everyone! First off thank you for reading. Now, this story can be found on my AO3 account Onyx_Lenora_Traise and I wanted to post this on Tumblr. Enjoy!

Omidah looked up from the book she was reading when she heard someone call her name. Ever since she agreed (was forced) to live in the Avengers tower, all quiet time and privacy went out the window. She saw her godfather Coulson enter the room, a grim look on his face

(A/N: he's very much alive in this story. Always been one of my favorite characters from Avengers)

"what's wrong? You look real distressed," Coulson sighed and sat next to her, he was not happy with the news he had to tell her but it was Fury's orders

"Fury has assigned you to a mission but I don't think you're going to like it; I sure as hell don't."

Omidah raised an eyebrow, curiosity evident in her eyes, she knew all too well that when her godfather wasn't happy with a mission she had (which was rare), it was dangerous and life threatening and those were the best kind for her.

She giggled, "finally something to do! Please tell me it's really dangerous with lots of fighting,"

Coulson rolled his eyes at her excitement over the matter, she really was a strange young lady.

"Do you remember Thor's brother the infamous Loki?"

"yeah I remember him, how could I not? I nearly whooped his ass when he tried to escape from the helicarrier and I would have succeeded too if I didn't have you to worry about. I still owe him a beating for nearly killing you."

She knew that if Coulson had faced Loki alone that day and gotten the injuries he had without immediate medical assistance, he would have died

"Thor is bringing Loki back here on earth as a punishment from Odin to atone for his actions and he'll be confined to the tower with you as his warden."

Omidah stayed quiet processing the information related to her. She started to laugh. Coulson shot her a confused look.

"Oh my Ra! Do you have any idea how deliciously ironic this is?"

Coulson shivered when his goddaughter cackled (you know that comical laugh in animes when a twisted plan was in place?)

"So when will he be arriving? Where will he be sleeping? I need to prepare....oh my there is so much I need to look after."

Coulson shook his head in disbelief, she was taking this news well, too well for his liking

"Calm down Omidah sheesh, you're behaving like its your long lost friend that's coming for a visit. Why are you so excited anyways?"

She rolled her eyes "It's not everyday you get to meet a Norse god and now I'm gonna know two of them, plus I can finally have questions answered on magic and literature."

"Why can't you just ask Thor about all of that stuff"

"No offense to Thor but he doesn't really know the in-depth knowledge I seek and from what he's told me about his brother, well apart from what I've researched, Loki is like a walking, living fricking Norse encyclopedia. I'm kinda hoping also that he can give me an insight on some of my abilities, still rusty in some aspects.

Coulson give Omidah a have-you-lost-your-marbles-kind of look, she just smiled

"Relax I know what I'm doing, besides he's going to be here for a long time and eventually he will have to talk to someone, so I volunteer as tribute."

"I have to remember to get your brain checked for loose screws"

Omidah faked a gasp and threw a cushion at Coulson making him laugh

"but all jokes aside, I know what I'm getting myself into. The others won't agree with my methods of doing things but I never fail a mission. If Odin is sending Loki here to atone for what he did, he's not going to do so by being distant and locking himself in his assigned room which I have a good feeling he'll do,"

"So what's your game plan then," Coulson asked

"quite simple actually, I'm going to be his friend" she flashed Coulson a smile *any second now 3,2,1.....*

"YOU'RE GOING TO WHAT!?"

.

.

.

.

Sitting in the lounge, Omidah poured over the numerous files sent to her by Fury. The files contained information on the objective of her mission and information on Loki which she didn't need but due to protocol Fury sent them to her anyways.

Getting up and heading to the kitchen, she grabbed a glazed donut and a cup of coffee and headed back to the sofa. She needed to finish compiling her report of how she'll go about executing her mission; leave it up to the Director to give her extra homework. When she reentered the sitting area Tony was reading one of her files.

"If that was meant to kill someone you would be dead right now. Tony why do you have to be so nosy?"

Tony looked up from the file and grinned "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you didn't love me my dear."

"You're like the cousin I never had Tony, of course I love you. It's your need to poke your nose in everyone's business is what errs me," she said matter of factly.

Tony glanced back at the file he just read, an eyebrow arched upwards

"So eye-patch finally decided to give you a mission after 6 months and he felt it was a good idea to have you babysit a temperamental Norse god?"

"I'm not complaining, its better than nothing and besides I'm looking forward to this mission and before you ask why, it cause I think it will be a great challenge for me."

Tony studied her for a few seconds "knowing you and I know you quite well, it's more than one reason. Just be careful okay kiddo?"

Omidah walked over and gave him a quick hug "I'll be fine Tony, what I'm worried about is how you and everyone else feels about having Loki in the tower"

Rolling his eyes Tony flicked Omidah's nose "the hell Tony, what was that for?"

"Just felt like it and we'll be fine just as long as Reindeer games behaves."

She and Tony both knew it was easier said than done.

It took one week for Omidah to have everything prepared for Loki's arrival. Looking down at her watch, it showed half past one. She was informed that Thor would be bringing Loki by two.

Dressed in a simple olive turtleneck sweater and black jeans accompanied by ankle high boots, she stood on the balcony standing a distance away from the helipad.

Shifting her eyes back to her watch which now showed half past two. Omidah groaned in annoyance *Thor is late.....which is not really like him.....what's taking them so long?*

"Well this is very unprofessional, unless Odin changed his mind and decided to keep Loki imprisoned on Asgard." She frown at the idea "Oh goddess I hope that isn't the case,"

Pulling out her work phone she was about to speed dial Fury when a bright light descended from the sky and landed on the helipad. As quickly as it came, it vanished and left standing was Thor and beside him the infamous Loki as Coulson likes to call him.

She breathed a sigh of relief glad they didn't cancel at last minute but pulled a straight face and decided to mess with Thor a little bit for making her wait.

"Thor you are late by thirty minutes and twenty-five seconds, I was beginning to wonder if plans were cancelled."

Thor flashed her a quick grin "Lady Omidah I apologize for the delay but there was a slight mishap before our departure," he grumbled the last part while gliding his eyes in Loki's direction.

Omidah had to refrain herself from snickering. Leave it up to the God of Mischief to cause a mishap

"I see. Well mishaps do happen" she said with a shrug "but you're still late, so to make it up to me, you are not allowed pop tarts for the next week."

Omidah watched as Thor became slightly pale and looked like he was about to pass out. She started to laugh because he just looked like a lost puppy

"Thor I'm joking, I would never deny you pop tarts, you'll simply go into a coma without them but you still have to make up for being late okay?"

Thor breathed in relief and smiled "I'm thrilled that my pop of tarts will not be taken away from me and once again I'm sorry for the delay,"

Nodding she began to walk over to the brothers, a perplexed look crossed her features when she noticed the muzzle around Loki's mouth. The darn thing looked very uncomfortable and she thought it was very unnecessary. It angered her slightly. Wasn't Loki a prince of Asgard? Why was he being treated like an animal?

"Thor I would very much appreciate it if you removed that infernal contraption off your brother and please for the love of the river Nile take off these chains, he looks very uncomfortable. He's not a prisoner in Asgard but a guest in the Tower," She said with a slight irritation in her voice.

She felt eyes on her, so shifting her gaze from Thor she found Loki staring at her in confusion.

"Well if he didn't try to escape the moment he felt the dungeons, he wouldn't be in chains"

"Regardless he's here now so take 'em off, we still need to get him settled plus I need to report to Fury in the next half hour. You and I both know he gets like a cranky old lady when he's kept waiting"

Thor faced Loki preparing to remove the 'infernal contraption' as Omidah called it. Once it was off, the chains were next. Loki gently rubbed his wrists and looked back at the female across from him.

She sent him a gentle smile which only confused him further. He searched her eyes and found no hostility in them, just curiosity and slight excitement.

"Much better, thank you Thor. Well let me be the first to welcome you back to Stark Towers Mr. Laufeyson. My name is Omidah Pennwinkle and I'll be looking over you as you stay here." She grinned at her intro speech and the look of sheer confusion and disgust in Loki's eyes. He really didn't want to be there.

"Come gentlemen, there is much to do and I have...." glancing at her watch she turned and slowly started to walk back inside "fifteen minutes to do so before my boss starts screaming like a banshee in my eyes for reporting late."

The two brothers looked at her retreating form, glanced at each other and followed her through the waiting door. Loki groaned internally, he really didn't want to be there.

[tea-and-toblerones]

Loose Change Chapter Two- I'd Love To Pop Some Tags But I've Only Got A Fiver In My Pocket

After much anticipation, chapter two is now complete! As always feedback is appreciated! I thrive off it. So, with out further ado... 

I sat at my designated table, furiously scribbling notes as a way to past the time until I closed up shop. My books spread out across the surface, highlighters of every color littered between my books and notebooks. I chewed on the top of the pen as I read, something I did when I was super focused, unaware of it until the cram sessions was over. I put my pen down, rubbing my eyes as the words on the page began to blur. There was a couple patrons scattered amongst the shop, most in the same situation I was. I didn't notice how late it had gotten until they apologised for staying over closing hours as they paid for their drinks. I waved them off, bidding them a good rest of their night. I flip the open light off, before making myself a fresh cup of coffee before plopping back down at my table. I took a sip of my coffee before picking up my pen  and I trudged along, deciding to finish the chapter before heading home. I heard the door creak open timidly, my eyes dragging away from the page to see Ed's face peering in.

"Er...can I come in?" His face the definition of uncertainty as he lingered, half in half out. "I know the sign says closed but...I thought I'd stop in and see how you were doing."

"Hey stranger!" My bright tone echoing through the quiet shop, "Sure, you can come in. Just do me a favor and lock the door behind you." My eyes dropping back to the page picking up where I left off, "You know you can come in while we're open right? You don't have to wait until we're closed or people leave."

I heard the door open and close again, the soft clunk of metal on wood told me he had brought his guitar case in. My eyes leaving the page again to see him stripping off his hoodie, one of the tshirts I had gave him was underneath. He scooped up his bag and case as he made his way across the room, grimacing every time his case brushed against a chair, a muttered sorry after every one. As silly as it sounded I couldn't tell if they were towards me or the chairs.

"I can't really buy anything, isn't that just loitering at that point?" Setting his stuff down beside my table.

"All you'd have to do is order water." I tell him, shuffling through the notes I made during the lecture, "Either way I wouldn't kick you out. Loads of people come in here just to study." Switching my pen out for the highlighter, dragging it across a couple choice phrases.

"Oh...I didn't realise you were busy..." His tone caused me to look up, soft and almost regretful, "I could go so you can finish studying." His hand resting on the back of the chair, caught between pulling it out.

"No, stay." I brought my foot up, giving the chair a slight push outwards, "I haven't talked to you for a while. I want to catch up. I'll be done real soon."

He slowly sat down, taking extra care to keep his hand off the table, resting them in his lap. I wonder if he was a fidgeter? Or was he worried he's mess up my clearly organized stack? Either way, his hands remained off the table, moving from his knees to under his armpits as he crossed his arms. We hadn't physically sat down and had a full conversation in a couple weeks. Our main form of communication had been notes passed between one another when I stopped by to drop off some form of food and a a buck or two. At least enough to cover his bus fare. Most of the time his notes consisted of  just some sort of ridiculous commentary on the meal and what sort of interesting stuff happened during the day. For example yesterday's drop off was two pb and jelly sandwiches. The note I had today, scribbled on a piece of a brown paper sack ' I butter thank for the sandwich, they really got me out of a jam' then went on to talk about how Americans were an odd bunch, holding conversations with complete strangers.

  At first I left notes asking if he needed specific things, mostly in the apparel department since we were still in the middle of quite a cold snap. He conveniently ignored that part of the note, just thanked me for the meals and proceeded to tell me about how he shared his fries with an angry looking pigeon that he was pretty sure would actually fight him over them and he wasn't sure he'd win. 'Best to stay on their good side. I don't need to piss off the birds. There's too many to fight, innit? Think you could put a good word in for me?' If I hadn't gotten a slight glimpse at his off the wall oddball humor, I'd think he was raving. I came to the conclusion he would never out right ask for certain things, it would be up to me to just guess what he would need.

He craned his neck, skimming over the upside down text, "This system you got here is really something." I could hear the wonder in his voice, I didn't need to look up to know his expression matched,  "Don't most people type everything digitally now? This seems complicated and kinda unnecessary."

"Mhmm? Oh, no, it helps the info stick in my brain better than typing it all out. Call me old fashioned I guess but nothing beats the feeling of a pen gliding over the paper, your hand creating the words. Plus the feel of paper under your fingertips. Sorry, having it on a computer just doesn't work for me."

There was a smile that crossed his face. "I completely agree with you. Nothing will replace handwriting everything. Things just seem to flow easier when you use a pen. Which is why I write everything instead of type." He paused, his smile turning sheepish, "Well that and the fact I can't really afford a computer. Which is a good thing, really. Means I'm not likely to get targeted for a mugging."

I feel my eyebrows draw together as I tear my eyes away from the page. He seemed completely relaxed, his head bobbing around to some beat trapped in his head as he looked around the room. When his eyes settled on me he seemed slightly surprised at my gaze.

"Ed, be straight with me. Have you been mugged?" My concern ringing true as I stared him down. There's almost no way he's be able to handle himself in a fight. He just seemed so fragile.

"Look at me Cassidy. Does it look like I'm that well off? Do I look like I'd have anything of value?" His arms spreading wide to emphasize his point. " No. I look fairly second hand. Not worth a second glance."

He had a point. He did look pretty down on his luck. Everything he had was noticeably second hand and heavily worn. He was right, he didn't look like someone that would have anything of value. Nothing worth fighting over. Even his pack had seen better days. It was this frayed army green canvas pack, the leather straps that held it closed shown obvious wear, the holes were stretched out from the use. The whole thing looked like it was one good tug away from coming apart. The guitar case however was still in pretty good condition, apart from a couple scratches and scuff marks. It appeared that he took better care of it than he did himself.

"Well, you've got that fancy guitar. That's worth something to a strung out junkie looking for something to sell for his next fix." I point out, causing his mouth to come down in a frown.

"That is true." He pondered, his hand rubbing his chin, "But Cyril is pretty battered. You're not gonna get much out of him. He's about as broken down as I am." His fingers opening the clasps with fluidity that comes from the repetitive act. He pulled it free from its felt nest, giving it an almost loving strum, "I'm afraid he's only priceless to me."

I hadn't noticed as he played, my gaze was usually drawing to his fingers or just him in general has he bounced around. I never focused on the guitar itself. The finish had began to chip away, from the use. There were scratches covering the face of it and the back of it was a disaster zone of criss crossed scratches, most likely caused from the zipper of his jacket grinding into it. The tuning keys had lost their luster, dulled by the constant turning. He was right, It had seen better days.

"Still...just be careful okay? Some will scope you out for days, waiting for a really good haul  then make their move." I could hear my tone slipping into lecture mode, the same I used with the kids I worked with.

"Aw, geez, you make it seem like I walk around with my head in the clouds." I could see that mischievous glint in his eye as he leaned forward, "You forget, I've been doing this for years now. I've gots some streets smarts by now."

I closed my book, deciding then and there nothing else was going to get done. "Don't take this the wrong way Ed but...you sorta come off as naive..."

"Yeah? So? What's wrong with that? Coming off as naive and being naive are two different things you know." I had expected him to be angry or at least annoyed, yet he seemed like he was enjoying himself, that smile still on his face, "There's nothing wrong with seeing the good in people."

"Yeah, but, aren't you worried that someone's going to come along and take advantage of your good nature?"

"If they do, it'll be a lesson learnt won't it? Even if it was the hard way, I'd've learnt something." That easy smile still across his face. It seemed nothing I threw at him was phasing him. Suddenly he straightened up from his relaxed pose, "I almost forgot, I came in for a reason!" His words tumbling out in an excited rush.

"Oh, so it wasn't just to talk philosophical views?" I tease as I cram books into my bag, "What's up?"

"I've got a gig." He was positively beaming now

"And you lead with questions about my study techniques?!" I squealed, as I knocked my bag to the floor, "That's great! When?! Where?!"

"An open mic night at...shit what was the name again..." He began rummaging through his bag, pulling out a wrinkled flyer, "The City?"

He passed the flyer over to me with a shrug. My eyes skimmed over it, nodding as I read it. I passed it back to him, watching as he crammed it back into his pack. "I've heard of a lot about City. Never been, but it pretty popular on campus."

"You know what type of vibe it has? So I know what I'm getting into?" I could see a bit of worry starting to settle behind those eyes.

"How 'bout this. We'll go drop in and get a feel of the crowd. That way when the night comes, you won't be worried about what songs you should choose."

"Okay...yeah...that's not a bad idea." He perked up at this, his smile quickly returning, "Okay, yeah. We'll think of it as recon." His transparent eyebrows wiggling. "God, you make it seem so sinister." I couldn't help but laugh as his lopsided grin as he waved me off, "All we're doing is checking it out. It's not like we're doing anything bad."

"The music industry is tough." His voice had lost all of the playfulness it had, replaced with a more sober tone, "Honestly, a tiny little thing like reading a crowd wrong could make or break me. This could be what gets my name out there and it could either be, 'Oh yeah, that Ed Sheeran, he's a real wanker playing that coffee house music at night club or Hey, That Ed kid, he's pretty good. Got a couple songs that really grab ya."

I could tell he was getting up in his head, planting seeds of doubt already. He had found one of my pens, twirling it between his fingers as he thought. I knew had to feel like he was balancing on the edge of a sword, one mistake would be all it would take to send him tumbling down. I needed to get him out of that mindset and fast. Nothing good would come from it.

"Hey, we've got a week. One week to get you prepared." My attempt at cheering him up seemed to fall a bit flat, earning me a half nod, "Look, we'll meet here tomorrow and go check it out."

"I would feel better about it if I knew what I was getting into." He may not have been smiling but he seemed in better spirits. "Tomorrow it is."

He had hung around a bit longer, turning down my offer to  come back to my place for a shower and proper dinner. I did however, convince him to take a couple sandwiches, which he thanked me for and added that I really did spoil him. If this was spoiled I shudder to think of how bad off he was before I stepped in. He gave me an awkward sort of wave before turning away, adjusting his pack and heading in the opposite direction. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the busses had stopped running and he most likely walked all the way back to wherever it was he was sleeping. It couldn't have been too far since he was always at his spot by 7:45. All I could hope was that wherever he was staying was at least sheltered and he wasn't too terribly hungry. *********************************************** After a long and frustrating day I gladly flicked the open sign off, turning back towards Ed, who had settled in the corner, scribbling furiously in a small brown leather bound notebook. I remember spotting it when he was pulling his clothes out, it tumbled out, flopping out on my floor open for the world to read. He didn't snatch it up quickly, which lead me to believe that it didn't hold anything particularly personal. Once I asked him if he was ready, it snapped closed and returned to the depths of his belongings. We stopped by the apartment to drop of his guitar and bag, deciding that it would just be too much of a hassle to carry around. There was a definite reluctance, even when I assured him that if Lucca did swing by, she wouldn't touch it. I couldn't say I blamed him for his wariness. That was literally everything he owned. I would probably be just as worried as he seemed to be, leaving it a fairly unfamiliar place. He seemed satisfied with them tucked away in my closet.

If it wasn't for the group of people that had gathered outside planning that night's bar crawl, I would have thought we were at the wrong place. The outside of the building gave off an abandoned factory vibe. Really, this is the place that people keep raving about? Ed must have sensed my hesitation since he grabbed onto my sleeve, pulling me toward him and away from the door.

"I know this is the address he gave me but...are you positive this is the right place?" He sounded a bit worried, that little crease forming on his forehead.

I glanced at the building, completely understanding his doubt. It definitely didn't give off the new hip bar on the scene vibe, more of a hey this is where cows come to be turned into burgers and steak. I know you should never judge a book by its cover but come on, they could have spruced up the place a bit. I caught my bottom lip between my teeth.

"Yeah, this is the address that both you gave and google gave me..." I turned my eyes away from the building and back to him, his expression mirroring my own, "Okay, what exactly did he tell you?"

"That Thursday was like a trial run and if he likes me, most likely if the crowd likes me, he'll pay me to come in regularly a perform." He let a breath out through his nose, "Sorry I can't be more help, I couldn't wait around any longer to see if he replied again with anything extra..."

"Hold up, wait around any longer?" I could feel my face scrunch up in confusion, "Why didn't you just call him?"

"I don't really have that kinda change lying about y'know..." His eyes dropping to the ground as he shuffled a bit. Then it clicked.

"You don't have a phone do you?"

"Nope."

Of course he doesn't have a phone. How would he pay for it. I felt like an idiot, I was so used to phones being almost a necessity nowadays that it didn't even cross my mind that some people don't have them. Still, one thing about that bothered me.

"How do you talk to your family then?"

"Oh, emails. I use email for practically everything. The library lets you use their computers as long as you have a card. Which was a handy thing I learnt at the shelter." He cleared his throat, ready to change the subject off of him, "Alright, well, you ready to see if we we're being pranked or not?"

"Lead the way."

We weaved our wave through the crowd, finally spotting the sign above the door that read The City. He pushed the door open and I followed him inside, almost running into when he stopped suddenly in his tracks. With good reason. It was quick to see why it was called The City, the walls were comprised of graffiti covered brick, bright and in your face. There was actual stop lights hanging from the ceiling, the floor made to look like a road. The furniture was chic and the bar was lit with bright rope lights of reds and blues. There was so much going on, it was chaotic, it was alive, it was insane. There was only one problem.

"Cassidy...there is no way I'll be able to perform in these clothes...I want to stick out but not in this way..." People weren't exactly dressed to the nines but they were definitely not a hoodie and frayed jeans type. He turned to me, a worried look back on his face, "What are we going to do?"

"Well, first, we're gonna go find ourselves a table. Oh, they have food..." My eyes zeroing in on a girl chowing down on a huge slice of pizza, "Alright we're gonna get a table and we're gonna get us some food and we'll go on from there."

To be honest, I really didn't have much of a plan. I figured once we got here, it would all fall into place but all I was feeling right now was uncomfortable, like I didn't exactly belong here. They had the hustle and bustle down. I couldn't help but wonder if it was because it was new or because they had something special that others didn't. I spotted a table close to the stage, which was quite a bit bigger than I had initially anticipated. It must have been bigger than Ed thought to since I heard him whistle.

"That's a stage, I wasn't expecting ...jesus..." he said, full of awe. His eyes held a wistful look. "A proper stage...wow..."

After a good bit of people watching and some surprisingly fantastic food we had finally settled on a game plan. There was a bit of doubt, no, a lot of doubt on his end, especially the longer we stayed. When he discovered that they had had some pretty well known bands grace the stage all his confidence had went out the window.

"How am I supposed to compete with acts like that? Christ, I'm fucked before I've even had a chance." He moaned, stabbing a  couple fries in the mountain of ketchup dismalily

"Are you kidding? Ed, you've hit gold here." I glance around to make sure nobody was within ear shot, just to be safe I leaned in, "You've got a bunch of pretentious people who thrive on up and coming musicians. They're going to eat you up."

"Yeah and probably spit me out. Come on Cassidy, I'm not ready for something like this."

"Stop with the negatives and what could go wrong and focus on what could go right. You're worried about your clothes? We'll get you new clothes. That's no issue."

"How? I've got-" He dug in his pockets, before realising they were empty. His eyes screwed shut as he thought,  "A fiver and whatever change is in my rucksack."

"Well then, it's time to introduce you one of my favorite places. Thrift shops. They're insanely cheap and you can store them in my closet." I could see the hesitation in his eyes and I already knew that he view that more as a luxury. Perhaps he was right. "Look, I can get them for you. I'm positive I can get you a good looking outfit for under 15 bucks."

"I couldn't, that's too much, you've already done too much."

"If you're that worried about it, pay me back when you're rich and famous."

We wrapped things up and headed out once it hit one in the morning. I was shocked I had actually stayed up that late and Ed looked like he could go on for hours more. I wondered if he was used to getting little sleep, always sleeping on the edge, prepared for the worst. After a lot of persistence, I had finally persuaded him to stay on my couch again, planning to hit the thrift shops in the morning. I had half expected him to complain about not performing but he surprised me with his ready acceptance. It wasn't until I was in half asleep did I think that his quick agreement could have been a farce and that, like last time, he'd sneak out before I woke up. Yet, when I woke up, there he was, curled in a tight ball, the blanket pulled tight across his body, his mouth slightly open as a light snore filled the silence. ********************************************* "Oh mah GAWD, look at this!"

I heard Ed's voice calling out from a couple racks down, his head popping up, grinning from ear to ear. He was holding up the most atrocious looking bright blue paisley plaid button up that would surely haunt my dreams for weeks to come. I could only stare at him in silence, my mouth trying to form the words why and what, most likely leaving me looking like a gaping fish. He chuckled as he placed it back on the rack, satisfied with my reaction. For a split second I wasn't sure if he was seriously contemplating it or not. We had been browsing for about an hour now and in that hour I had gathered that this boy had absolutely no fashion sense at all. I decided to take up the role of personal shopper, which he said made him feel like a toff and a bit of a wanker. He had made it his mission to find every ridiculous article of clothing he could get his hands on and proudly show them off. The bigger the reaction, the bigger the smile was.

"Hey, Cass, do you mind if I call you Cass?" I shrugged, "Wicked. Look at these trainers. They're nicer than what I've got and they're cheap."

He was clutching a new looking pair of shoes, orange with three white stripes. I glanced down as his ragged, brown but not originally brown shoes. The soles had started to peel away from the material and I could remember seeing every pair of his socks having brown stains where water had leaked in. I nod my head to the cart.

"Alright, put em in. You can't keep walking around with those dead fishing smelling things you call shoes. I'm shocked your feet haven't fell off your body, to be honest with you."

His lip pulled pout in a pout as he placed them in the cart. "That's mean, my feet don't smell that bad." "I said your shoes smelled bad." I clarified as I held out a plain black sweater to his chest, eyeballing the fit before throwing it in the cart.

"I'll get hot in that on stage. Those lights put out a lot of heat."

"Who said it was for just stage? It's cold. A sweater or two wouldn't kill you. Neither would a coat."

He stopped in the middle of the racks and I didn't notice until I had turned around to ask him his opinion on a shirt. He just stared down at the floor, the most pathetic look across his face. Even his hair seemed  to lose a bit of its spunk, wilting a bit.

"This was just supposed to be for performances. One or two outfits so I wouldn't look like a tramp on stage...You've got almost a cartful...Cass...I can't take-"

"Yes, yes you can." I said simply, cutting off the rest of his sentence, "Stop thinking you don't deserve things because you live on the street." I threw a pair of jeans into the cart with a bit more force than I anticipated, "I'm sick of you thinking you're less than a person.  I don't know who made you think that, but I'm sorry. You're a human being. You deserve to have things like coats and warm clothes. Those aren't luxuries Ed. They're things that most people take for granted. So stop thinking you don't deserve the basic necessities."

"Why me though? They're are plenty of people on the streets."  He sounded less broken, but still dejected. I breath heavily out my nose. "Every person out there with their battered sign all tell the same story. It may be worded different, but its still the same story. Hungry, homeless, give me money. Some sob story to tug on the heart strings of others. It could be true and that money could go towards a hot meal. Or it could go straight into their veins or up their nose. You though...you don't ask for money. You stand out there, with your signs that say such positive things, playing your music, making that corner of the city a brighter place. You could sing about your troubles and really hit people with a well crafted sob story in the form of a song. But you don't."

He sat in silence for a moment, mulling over everything I said. "Thanks for that...I needed to hear it. Sorry for being a downer..."

He seemed to perk up a bit, finding this flannel looking hoodie, tossing it into the cart. After another half an hour we had made not one but two complete laps around the store. There was a few more ridiculous finds, we had decided to wrap it up and head home. As I was pulling out my card to pay and Ed placed the bags in the cart, I heard the lady behind us make a snide comment to her shopping partner about how he should feel like less of a man for a woman buying his clothes. I had seen them throwing looks our way as we browsed, muttering under their breath and I had had enough.

I slapped my card down on the counter, whirling around to see, yet again, a hurt looking Ed, his hand hovering over one of the bags. "Excuse me," I smiled the biggest, falsest smile I could muster, "but I think I found your nose in our business. So how this. Why don't you collect it and your bad attitude, shove it in your designer bag and move right on along." I spun on my heel, thanking the cashier for my card, bidding them a good day, snatching the bags out of the cart, brushing past the ladies, "May Karma bless you three fold."

I walked out, Ed almost having to jog to keep up with me as I made my way across the lot. "The nerve of them." I tug my trunk lid up and start throwing bags in, "Just who do they think they are? Seriously."

"Cass, it's okay, really."  I could tell he was just trying to calm me down, although it was having the opposite effect.

"No, it's not okay. Nothing gives a person the right to say such ridiculous things for the sole purpose of hurting someone."

"But it is pathetic Cass.” He shrugged, seemly undefeated, “I should be able to pay for my own clothes. It is what it is. I'm grateful and I really don't care what a couple of strange old women, who we'll never see again, think. It shows their character, not ours." His eyebrow cocked upwards, "Though I will say, you handled that quite well."

"I have to deal with a lot of angry parents. And kids. It's a skill i've developed over the years of working at the summer camp." I slam my trunk closed, "Pushing that aside, we can get these back to my place, throw them in the wash, Yes, I'm washing them," I saw his mouth fly open, in protest, "After that, all you'll need to focus on is what you'll play."

"Oh, all I'll need to do. That's only the hardest part." A smirk creeping across his face, "We've got a little less than a week to prepare. Plenty of time to come up with some sort of set list." His hands rubbing together, "Now the real work begins."

[boku-no-family]

first off, just wanted to say congrats on the new blog!! I'd like to request a scenario with a female s/o and todoroki and kacchan (seperately) where the s/o is kinda insecure and gets jealous when she notices how much attention the boys receive from other girls. Maybe end it off with them comforting her and it getting a lil steamy? ;) thanks!!

My veryfirst request *_* Yeiiii 🎉

Thank you Anon! I’ll try my best to live up toyour expectations!

It took a little longer than expected and Ithink I went a little over board 🙈 Nevertheless, I hope you’ll like it! 

Todoroki Shouto

The school bell rings, you grab your bag andstand up from your seat, ready to exit1-A’s classroom after a long, tiresomeday. 

In your mind you are already enjoying the walk back to the dorms with yourlove, Shouto. A smile starts to form on your face, but it’s completely lostwhen the classroom door opens. You stop in your tracks and frown upon thescenery in front of you. A horde of girls has gathered in front of U.A.’s mostfamous class and like predators they are ready to catch a glimpse of their prey.The walk of pretty boys, that’s howrumor has it called. 

As you growl slightly, you don’t notice that Shouto isalready at your side, ready to leave the room. “Can we?”, he asks, hisheterochromatic eyes almost starring dispassionately at you. You wonder whetherhe really doesn’t know what’s going on or he doesn’t care, or he actually enjoys it. No, he’s not like that, is he? Half lostin your thoughts, you notice the white and red haired boy is still staring atyou and all you manage to do is a nod. Without a second thought he turns on hisheels and walks straight out of the door, you follow him just a step behind. Hecould have at least taken your hand or something, you murmur to yourself.

 Shouto pays no attention to his surroundings, as he passes the corridorsquietly with you at his side, but you do. A lot. Suddenly, your heart startsbeating faster and it feels like a hammer pounding in your ribcage. You canhear the other girls whispering as you pass by and you are sure they’re judgingyou. Of course they do, your boyfriend is literally the pretty boy of class 1-A and you are just an average lookinggirl, with average strength, average grades and an average quirk. You avertyour eyes, looking to the floor. “Whatdoes he even want from this nobody?”, you are not sure if it was an actualcomment or just one of your too many thoughts. Your footsteps come to a halt,when you almost bump into the back of your lover. Another crowd has formed,this time in front of him. You raise your head, seeing him chatting with somegirls and oh my word, was that asmirk? You narrow your eyes as a sudden wave of jealousy is washing over yourbody. You feel your cheeks heat up and you inhale sharply, which goes notunnoticed by your boyfriend. He cocks his head, his lips ready to form anapology for the sudden interruption, but you are too busy to notice. You cuthim off with a cute smile, but your eyes are like poison and your words cutlike a knife “It’s okay Todoroki, I understand, see you at the dorms”. 

Not ableto take it any longer, you make your way through the horde of girls, fallinginto a jog to escape as fast as possible. What’s up with you all of a sudden?By the time you reach the dorm door, you are out of breath. To regain yourcomposure, both physically and mentally, you lean onto the pillar beside thedoor, taking a deep breath. The words you said to him left a bitter aftertastein your mouth, you even called him by his last name. 

Again, you are tooself-absorbed to notice that your boyfriend has caught up to you, currentlywatching you with a worried expression on his face. “Want to have a talk,___?”,you snap out of your trance, facing him at the end of the stairs. Your name roleslike velvet from his tongue and you feel a sudden pang of guilt in your chest.Once more, the only thing you manage to do is a nod. He climbs the stairs andtakes your hand into his, leading you inside the building, straight into hisroom. His hand feels warm and comforting. Doyou really deserve this? Now? 

He closes the door behind him, releasing yourhand. You raise your head to face him, he is as deadpanned as ever. Now he’sthe one sighing, brushing his hair back with one hand at the same time. It’snot like he’s having no feelings at all and deep down you know that. You startto feel like an idiot. Again, he tilts his head, before he says bluntly “Youare jealous, why is that?”. You bite your lip and before you can say anythinghe continues “You trust me, don’t you? I thought it’s a mutual thing”. 

You hurthim, didn’t you? Feeling a lot more self-conscious than before, you grab yourleft elbow with your right hand, trying to keep the little composure you hadleft. However, your body betrays you and before you can do anything, tearsstart streaming down your face. Shouto’s eyes change from questioning toconcerned and you know you owe him an answer. Shakily you say “I am sorry,Shouto, I’m so sorry”, you grip your elbow harder “I… I actually don’t knowwhy… no, I know…. it’s…. I feel so ashamed now”. You can’t really comprehendyour thoughts and your body starts to shake from the erupting sob, but beforeit’s happening you feel a pair of strong arms wrapping around your body. Shoutopulls you close to his chest, his scent is calming and soothing. “I’m such anidiot, why do you even like me?”, your fingers clench his shirt and you rambleon “I’m just average, there are so many other girls, so many pretty girls, withcool quirks and they are super smart and –“, he cuts you off with a kiss. 

Hemight definitely not be the best at conveying his feelings with words, but heis definitely good when it comes to intimate actions. His kiss is deep andpassionate “It might be true that there’s someone out there smarter than you,or you consider them more beautiful and their quirk better than yours, but tome”, he smiles “To me you are the best, the smartest, the most talented andmost beautiful girl in the world. In my eyes you are utterly amazing”, againyou start to tear up, but this time it’s because you are happy. You start toopen your mouth, but before you can say something he cuts you off with a kissagain. It’s even more passionate and kind of apologetic. He bites your lowerlip softly, asking for permission, which you eagerly grant him. You wrap yourarms around his neck, carefully grinding against him, letting your feelingsguide your way. A low growl escapes his throat and his grip around your waisttightens, before his hands starting to roam up and down the sides of your body,never breaking the kiss. Before you know it, he lifts you up in his strongarms, taking you to his futon. “I think this is a more adequate place tocontinue”, he says breathlessly.

Bakugou Katsuki

You were currently working out with yourboyfriend, Bakugou Katsuki, the famous foul mouth of U.A.’s class 1-A. You wereactually glad he allowed you to be here with him, that meant he acknowledgedyou as an equal, didn’t it? He would never work out with a person weaker thanhim, you knew that for sure. He mentioned it so many times, he wouldn’t make anexception for you, would he? He wouldn’t be around someone weaker than him,would he? You sighed heavily as you approached the next place in the gym. Whywere you thinking about stuff like that anyway? 

You settled down in a spot infront of a mirror, ready to do some squats with some heavy weights on yourshoulders. You wondered if those weights would be enough to impress yourboyfriend. Stop, why were you even thinking about impressing him. You watchedyour reflection in the mirror. From head to toe and back. You had a nice body,didn’t you? Or maybe, maybe, you shoulddefine your arms more? Were they flabby? Taking a closer look into the mirror,you couldn’t only see your reflection, you also saw other girls in the gymworking out. Girls with perfect bodies, girls lifting more than their own bodyweight. Holy shit, look at those beasts. Or were you just being the noob here?

 Right as that thought crossed your mind, you saw Katsuki staring at one of thosechicks. You couldn’t really make it out, but you swore you saw a smile crossinghis face. You narrowed your eyes, what did she have that you didn’t.

 You twocame here regularly and truth to be told, this gym was actually the only placewere other girls tried to approach him. The other girls at U.A. knew about Bakugou’scharacter, about Bakugou’s behavior. Usually, it was enough to keep them at a certaindistance. You were one of the few once brave enough to defy him and togetherwith your actions you earned his trust and as time passed, his heart. You werepatient enough to discover that he was actually really smart and he cared forpeople dear to him. Okay, he cared in his own “Katsuki way of caring”, butwell, he cared. It was different here in the gym though. Of course he brushedthe flirting off, countering it with some curses and a lot of swearing. Thehell would he care that he was speaking with girls. In his eyes everyone was equal,equally dumb, to be precise. Nevertheless,all the cursing and swearing didn’t stop those girls from talking to him. Itwas probably this bad boy vibe, you figured. 

Most of the time you didn’t mind,but you never saw him flashing a smile at any of those wannabe yoga chicks.Well, talking about yoga, this girl here in particular was lifting more weightthan you ever did. Was that the reason he was attracted to her? Because she wasstronger than you? You felt jealousy rising through your body. You wanted himto look at only you, wanted his smile to only be reserved for you. You clickedyour tongue. If he wanted to have a badass chick, you could be that badass chick,couldn’t you? You added a little more weight onto the already heavy bar. Examiningit cautiously, you suddenly didn’t feel so confident anymore. Once more youlooked into the mirror. Those tiny arms of yours would never be able to liftall that shit, much less could your legs. You looked horrible, at least that’show you felt at that moment. You looked so weak. He would just dump you, likesome old trash. 

“Oi, watcha doin’ there?”, you snapped out of your thoughts andnoticed Katsuki standing behind you. “Squats?”, you answered dumbfounded. Thespiky haired boy spared your bar a glance, then looked back at you. “Tzk”, heexhaled, it was almost like he was mocking you. “What?”, you send him an annoyedglance, feeling the previous jealousy again “Think I’m being too weak, or what?”,you almost barked at him. “No”, he crossed his arms, cocking an eyebrow “Ithink you’re being stupid”. You bit your lip, not sure what to respond. “What? Ifyou don’t want a sarcastic answer, then don’t ask a stupid question. It’s obviousyou can’t lift that much”, you growled slightly. “Oh, so you’re really tellingme I’m too weak?!”, it stung a little in your chest, even though you knew hewas right. “Babe, shut it”, he hissed. “You’re telling me to shut it, but yousmile at this bitch? Go and love yourself Katsuki”, you hissed back, jealousyhad already taken a toll on you. He snarled, but you were already heading towardsthe exit.

“Woman!”, he caught up to you in the corridor. “God knows how luckyyou are that you’re just some minor nuisance to me”, he grabbed your wrist. “Oh,now I’m a minor nuisance”, you countered. He rolled his eyes “Don’t take everyof my fucking words with a fucking pinch of salt”, he pulled you closer to him.“Don’t jackshit me here”, he whispered, “I’m just worried about you, I don’twant you to hurt yourself”. He wrapped his arms around you and you felt allyour frustration falling off, hot tears suddenly streaming down your face. “You’replaying dirty here, babe”, he whispered into your ear. “But you look kind of fuckingsexy with that that sassy look”, you could feel his smirk even though your facewas buried in the crook of his neck. “I smiled at that fucking yoga bitch cuzshe desperately tried so hard with her ugly chicken legs”, he pulled away justenough to see your face. He wiped away some tears, before he caught your lipsin a fiery kiss, pressing his body flush against yours. “Eeegh~”, you moaned “You’resticky”, you giggled while hastily trying to catch your breath. “Shut it”, heslid his hands under your shirt, traveling all the way up your back, making youarch into his touch “You’re the same”, he smirked “Seems like we need a shower”“Idiot, we’re in the gym” “As if I care”, he pulled you into his arms again.

[thecuriouscrusader]

Heyyy as for the prompts, I know this is kinda vague but I'd love to read something that's kinda "the one who got away", likr, dean and cas used to be together and happy but aren't anymore (for various heartbreaking reasons) and now it's been years and they're both miserable but then (entirely unexpectedly) meet again and there's a lot of feelings and pain and angst but in the end they get their happily ever after. Please? Thank you so much!❤☀️

A/N: My dear, I’m so sorry this has taken so long but life has been in the way but this has spiralled into an almost 10,000 word fic, so If you’d prefer to read it on AO3 it is here. I hope you like it!

Warnings: Social Anxiety, Arguing, Consideration of Infideilty. Past Lisa/Dean. Dean still sees Ben.

*** mean’s a time jump in the same day.a line mean’s a time jump across days.

Three Years  

Dean Winchester did not believe in fate, especially when it entailed a less than pleasurable experience. For instance, his car breaking down; which also happened to be his pride and joy.

Dean had only popped into the diner for a moment - leaving his Chevy Impala parked on the street - to pick up his order to go. When he returned he placed the key in the ignition and the car appeared to give a solemn wheeze before falling silent.

“Oh, c'mon!” Dean groaned as he slammed his palm against the steering wheel; he instantly regretted it. “Sorry, baby” he murmured as he ran his fingers gently across the area he had struck; she was getting up there in years and needed a tune every now and again, but she was still loyal.

Dean got out of the car and went to prop the hood open. It was not the need for a repair which irked Dean as he was a mechanic, but rather that his pizza was growing colder by the second.

After fiddling around for a few moments Dean straightened from his hunkered over position and wiped the back of his hand across his brow.

In that minute moment of chance Dean saw someone he knew a long time ago enter the restaurant. Dean’s breath caught and his eyes widened as he stood rigid in a state of shock.

He thought that he would never see Castiel again.

Castiel Novak was the love of his life.

Three Years Ago…

Dean did not go to the Roadhouse that evening with the intention of finding his soulmate, but it seemed that the universe had other plans. He stowed himself away in a dark corner of the bar and brooded over the news he had received that morning; the garage he worked at had just lost a wealthy client and he feared that he only had himself to blame. Dean knew that a resolution would not be found at the bottom of a whiskey glass, but perhaps simply forgetting his problems would suffice.

He looked over at the bar when he heard a loud cheer erupt from a group of ten or so men. It looked like a bachelor party with one of the men clearly being forced into wearing a veil. They were certainly a rowdy bunch, but one of them did not seem to be joining in.

He was sat at the bar clutching onto his bottle of beer so tightly Dean was surprised it did not shatter. His posture was very rigid and his shoulders tense. It was then Dean spotted the book next to the man with a cross shaped marker carefully placed inside and he concluded that man was not a member of the party.

One of the drunken men next to him suddenly stumbled back and nearly knocked the poor guy off his seat. He turned to look at the man who had pushed him with wide and somewhat scared looking eyes - Dean could not help but be struck by the piercing blue shine they emitted.

“Oops, sorry, man” the drunk guy slurred, clapping the nervous man on the back before turning back to his friends.

After that Dean could see just how much the poor guy was shaking and it looked like he didn’t know whether to faint or runaway. Well, Dean could no longer allow himself to be a silent observer if the guy was really in that much distress.

He cautiously walked over and leaned on the bar next to the guy to make it look like he was just waiting to be served. He glimpsed down at the front cover of the book.

“The Picture of Dorian Gray? Man, I haven’t read that since high-school.”

The guy nearly jumped off his seat and turned to Dean with the same overwhelmed expression.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you” Dean said with a soft smile in the hope of proving he was not intimidating. “It’s a good book, though. I’m really into that monster stuff.”

“I-It’s my favourite” the man replied shakily. “I must have read it nearly a hundred times. It’s sad, I know-”

“Not at all, everyone is a nerd about something, even if they think they’re being secretive about it” Dean said. “Me? I can pretty much recite any script from Doctor Sexy.”

The man laughed lightly. “That’s very impressive.”

Dean smiled back. “You wanna join me over there?” He said, indicating to the table he had previously occupied. “You know, away from the crowd. Kinda struggling to hear you.” That was somewhat of a lie but Dean did not want the guy to feel awkward.

“Yes, I would like to” the man said, already seeming more at ease. “My name is Castiel.”

“I’m Dean.”

Castiel grabbed his beer and book and followed Dean over to the table.

“I wouldn’t think this was the sort of place you can get any reading done” Dean tentatively pried.

“No, I kind of just brought it as a safety blanket” Castiel confessed. “I have rather crippling social anxiety so I’ve been trying to force myself into these situations more. But everyone is just so…loud. Drunk and loud.”

“Well, you’re doing fine” Dean assured him.

“You’re different” Castiel said with a slightly curious frown. “You seem…soft? No, I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean…that’s n-not the right word-”

“No, that’s me alright” Dean laughed. “A soft nerd, but don’t blow my cover.”

Castiel was blushing furiously but he offered Dean a small smile.

“I won’t, but don’t worry; I’m sure that I’m a bigger nerd than you are.”

“Is that a challenge?” Dean teased. “I’m a mechanic who can name every single part and take a car to pieces and put it back together precisely. I can speak Latin, I love reading about mythical lore, and I can perform every Led Zeppelin song solo on my air guitar.”

Dean was expecting Castiel to start laughing but instead he simply looked awestruck.

“That’s all very spectacular” he claimed.

“Thanks” Dean said with an amused huff. “What about you?”

“Well, I keep my own hive of bees, I spend most Saturdays in the library, and I can read many dead languages including Latin and Enochian because I have the nerdiest job I the world.”

“What’s that?” Dean asked curiously.

“Well I’m a curator at the museum, but I’m also an archaeologist who specialises in religious artefacts.”  

Dean’s mouth fell ajar. “Are you kidding me? That’s the most awesome job in the world! You’re like a real life Indiana Jones!”

“I’ve never actually seen those movies” Castiel confessed. “For a nerd my knowledge of popular culture is extremely lacking.”

“You’re an archaeologist who has never seen Indiana Jones?” Dean said with disbelief. Castiel nodded sheepishly. “Well then, you’re going to have to come and marathon them at my place tomorrow night.”

“I would like that” Castiel smiled.  

Dean usually got defensive when someone accused him of being a neat freak, but at that moment he was grateful for his germophobe ways so that he did not have to spend time hurrying around trying to get his apartment clean before Cas’ arrival, and could instead spend more time getting himself to calm down because he really liked this guy.

When there was a knock at the door Dean took one last deep breath and opened it with a smile.

Castiel nervously smiled back at him and brandished a large pizza box in Dean’s face.

“I didn’t know what you liked so I just got one with everything. I-I hope that’s okay.”

“Sounds awesome” Dean assured him. “C'mon in.”

Castiel followed Dean into the lounge.

“You’re apartment is lovely” Castiel said.

“Well, it’s actually more of a shoebox, but thanks” Dean said. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll grab some beers.”

“Alright, thank you.”

Dean returned to find Castiel sat on the sofa nervously running his hands up and down his thighs as he looked around the room.

“How much for the pizza?” He asked as he sat down next to Cas, but far enough away so as not to appear too suggestive.

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s on me” Castiel said. “I wanted to make a good impression since it’s our first official date.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up in surprise before he could fully process what Cas said.

“Oh god, this isn’t a date, is it?” Castiel said quietly. “And now I’ve made this extremely awkward. I-I’m so sorry, I’ll just go-”

“No, wait!” Dean exclaimed as he grabbed Castiel’s arm before he could get up to leave. “It’s okay, I…like you and I was hoping that you liked me too. This is a date, I-if you want to be?”

“Um, y-yeah I want it to be” Castiel said as he lowered himself back down.

“Awesome!” Dean exclaimed with a wide grin. “I-I mean, yeah, that’s…good.”

“No, it’s awesome” Castiel said with a reassuring smile. “So, are we ready to get this Indiana Jones marathon started?”

“Sure are. I think you’re gunna love it” Dean said.

“Or I’m going to irritate you by pointing out all of the inaccuracies” Castiel teased.

“Oh, well if that happens then I can just stuff a slice of pizza in your mouth” Dean said as he opened the box and rested it on his lap.

“That’s not really a punishment, this is the most delicious pizza in the neighbourhood” Castiel promised as he took a slice. “And they make the best burgers too.”

“Well I know that’s a lie” Dean scoffed. “I make the best burgers in the neighbourhood.”

“You like to cook?” Castiel asked through a mouthful of pizza.

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, you?”

Castiel shook his head. “My microwave is my best friend. Nuking taquitos is as good as it gets for me.”

“Well, then It’s my duty to make sure that you get a decent meal” Dean said. “Next date, I’m making you burgers.”

“I can’t wait” Castiel smiled.

“Me too” Dean replied with equal enthusiasm.

He picked up the remote and pressed play on the movie.

He subtly snaked his arm around the back of the sofa - the most cliché move in the history of dating, but Cas seemed to go for it as he shuffled closer until he was gently pushed against Dean’s chest. Dean smiled to himself as he curled his arm around Castiel’s shoulders.

He never thought he would find anything like this.

A week later and Dean was waiting for Castiel to arrive at his apartment again so that they could have burgers as promised.

They had been texting each other almost every day with any questions they had - including what their favourite smells where, and what their plans were for the zombie apocalypse.

Dean had not felt as elated in a while as he danced around the kitchen preparing the dinner.

When the doorbell rang he hurried over and opened it with the biggest grin.

“Hey, Cas!”

“Hello, Dean” Castiel chuckled. “I like your apron.”

Dean looked down at the garish flowery garment and blushed profusely.

“I, uh…it brings out my eyes, don’t you think?”

Castiel laughed. “Yes; they’re very beautiful.”

“Okay, get in here before I’m too embarrassed” Dean said. “Dinners still going to be a couple of minutes so make yourself at home.”

“Alright” Castiel said as he took of his trench coat - which Dean had tagged to be another kind of security blanket - and hung it by the door.

Dean went to the kitchenette and set about preparing the buns whilst Cas examined the photographs he had set up in a collage on the wall.

“Is that your son?” Castiel asked as he pointed to a picture of Dean and a young boy.

“Yeah” Dean said with a proud smile. “Well, not technically…I’m his step-dad, sorta… his mom and I were never married but I’m still close with him.”

“He looks sweet” Castiel said with a genuine smile. Dean was relieved that he was not upset by the revelation. “What’s his name?”

“Ben, he’s eight” Dean said. “He’s a good kid.”

“It’s so nice of you to still spend time with him” Castiel said. “I know how tough it is to not have a father around.”

“Yeah? Mine wasn’t exactly competing for father of the year either” Dean confessed. “I couldn’t let that happen to Ben.”

“That’s very noble of you” Castiel said. “And very endearing” he said with a suggestive smile.

“Well, I hope that these score me some more points” Dean said as he brought the two perfectly prepared burgers over to the table.

“They look and smell delicious” Castiel said as he took a seat.

“Okay, seriously, if you keep complimenting me then I might die.”

“Well, then you should be more of a jerk” Castiel teased.

“If you talk to my little brother, you’ll find out that I am” Dean retorted.

Castiel took a large bite of the burger - Dean was also happy he’d met someone who could match his appetite - and sunk down in his chair with a satisfied moan.

“That’s amazing” he said.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Dean chuckled. “Thanks.”

They spent the rest of the evening chatting more about their families and their interests until Castiel realised that the sun would be coming up in only a few hours.

“I better go get some sleep. I have work In the morning.”

“Yeah, me too” Dean huffed; he had been having such a good time he had been dreading when reality would hit.

He walked Cas over to the door and helped him put his coat on.

“You should come to my house next time” Castiel said. “I can make nachos.”

Dean laughed. “That sounds awesome.”

“Alright…um, goodnight” Castiel said. Despite indicating he was about to leave he lingered for a moment, hands nervously grasped at his side and bobbed up on his toes.

“Can I..? Would it be okay if we..?”

Dean answered his question by guiding Castiel’s face towards him and pressing his lips softly against the smaller man’s. Castiel reciprocated the gesture and brought his hands to rest on Dean’s hips.

They pulled apart after a few moments and looked at each other with equally boyish smiles.

“The burgers were good, but I have to say that was the best part of the evening” Castiel affirmed.“I agree” Dean said.

“Maybe…just one more-”

Dean pulled him back inside the apartment and pushed their lips together.

Things that night had not progressed beyond making out and a little groping on Dean’s couch, but he was happy to take it slow.

Dean was in awe when he turned up at Castiel’s house. Even from the outside – with the carefully tended flower beds and bumblebee welcome mat – everything about it seemed warm and inviting.

Dean rang the doorbell and suddenly felt very nervous. He did not like the way he was dressed because he had been late from work and had not had the chance to change; he was pretty sure that he was still covered in spots of oil and grease.

When Castiel opened the door Dean’s eyes widened with surprise. The other man was wearing a baggy red hoodie and sweatpants. His hair was ruffled all over the place and he had patches of flour dusted on his sleeves.

“Dean, oh my God” Castiel fretted. “Is it seven already? I’m so sorry, I didn’t even realise. I’m such a mess-”

“That makes two of us then” Dean laughed as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist. “But you still look hot to me.”

Castiel smiled and leaned in so that they could share a kiss.

“I really think that I should get changed though” the smaller man said as he abruptly pulled away.

“Alright” Dean said. “Do you mind if I take a shower? I’m aware I smell like a gas station.”

“Sure” Castiel said. He bit his lip nervously and took hold of Dean’s hand. “Seems that we’ll both require to be naked for a little while then.”

“I generally like to shower without my clothes on, yes” Dean said.

Castiel sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m not very good at seductive talk. Do you want to have sex?”

Dean did not reply for a moment as he was more than shocked, but then he could not stop himself from laughing. Castiel frowned.

“Sorry” Dean said. “I’ve just never been asked like that before. Are…Are you sure you want to? I don’t want you to think that what happened at my place was me pushing you-”

“No, not at all!” Castiel quickly replied. “I-I mean…the other night was what made me realise I-I’d like to…I just haven’t stopped thinking about it. About you.”

Dean smiled endearingly. “Cas, I would like to have sex with you.”

“Okay…good” Castiel said. “But now I’m afraid I’ve made things too awkward.”

Dean was about to say something in response but then he sniffed the air. “What is that?”

“Oh, it’s pecan pie” Castiel explained. “I remember you said it was your favourite. I’m no cook but I’m pretty good at baking, so I made one for you.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, that’ll do it” he said a little breathlessly.

“Do wh-?” Castiel started to ask but then Dean had his lips pressed against his. “Got it” Castiel panted when they broke apart. “Bedroom is this way” he said as he started to drag Dean up the stairs.

“What if he doesn’t like me?”

“Baby, he’s going to love you” Dean assured Castiel as he walked up behind him and rubbed his shoulders reassuring.

They had been dating for three months now and Dean was about to introduce Ben to Castiel for the first time. It was Halloween, so Dean had suggested that Castiel went trick-or-treating with them. Castiel had been in the bathroom getting ready when he’d looked at himself in the mirror and started worrying. He knew that Ben meant everything to Dean and he was not sure he could handle the pressure.

“Maybe I should have got more candy” Castiel murmured.

“While I can’t say bribery won’t help, you just need to be you, okay?” Dean assured Castiel as he turned him to face him. “Ben gets on with everyone, and he said that you were awesome as soon as I told him what your job was.”

“Really?” Castiel asked with a small smile.

“Yes” Dean said sincerely. “Now, I gotta go pick him up and you get into your costume.”

“Don’t you think you’re taking this Indiana Jones thing a little too far?”  Castiel said as he looked over at the brown leather jacket, fedora, and prop bull whip Dean had supplied him with.

“Not far enough” Dean affirmed. “I want you to keep that whip for later” He said lowly and then started to nibble a little at Castiel’s neck.

Castiel closed his eyes and sighed contentedly but had to remind himself that they did not have time.

“Stop!” He exclaimed as he snapped out of the trance. “You’re going to be late picking Ben up.”

“Alright” Dean chuckled. He pecked Castiel on the cheek. “I’ll be back in a half hour.”

Once Dean left Castiel changed into his costume and filled a big bowl full of candy ready to present to Ben on his arrival.  

A few other parents came with their children to knock on Castiel’s door before Dean appeared with Ben.

“Trick-or-treat?!” Dean said with a child-like grin; he had changed into his Zorro costume.

“You both look wonderful” Castiel smiled. “Hi, Ben. I’m Cas. I didn’t know Kiss had a fifth member!” He commented as he took in the young boy’s rock star wig and face paint.

“You get my costume?” Ben said with surprise. “You’re obviously cool then. My mom said people would just think I’m a weird vampire. I like your costume too. Indiana Jones rules!”

“Thank you” Castiel smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever been called cool before. You can have some of my special stock” he said as he grabbed separate bowl. “Sour candies. Think you can handle it?”

“I bet you make a face eating one before I do!” Ben said.

“I accept your challenge” Castiel said with determination.

Dean watched the whole interaction with a contented smile. He knew Cas had nothing to worry about.

**********************

They went around the whole of Cas’ neighbourhood and ended up with quite a haul of treats.

“Dean!” Ben groaned as he slapped the man’s hand away from trying to sneak into his bag. “I told you, you can have all the coconut ones. I don’t like those ones.”

“No one likes those ones” Dean pouted.

“Here, Cas. You can have some peanut cups.”

“Why does he get the peanut ones?!”

“Because he didn’t try to steal!”

“Thank you” Castiel chuckled as he took the treats from Ben.

They were walking back to Castiel’s house when Ben yawned loudly. His eyes started to droop closed and his movements had grown sluggish. Dean looked at his watch and saw that it was nearing midnight. They had just reached the top of Castiel’s street.

“Alright, solider” He said as he picked Ben up. “Let’s get you home.”

“Here, Cas” Ben said as he handed his candy over. “Promise you won’t let Dean eat any?” He said as he stuck out his pinkie.

“Promise” Castiel said seriously as he linked his little finger with Ben’s. “I’ll guard it with my life.”

“I knew you two would end up plotting against me” Dean said lowly.

By the time they reached Castiel’s house Ben was sound asleep against Dean’s shoulder.

“It would be a shame to disturb him” Castiel whispered. “Why don’t you both stay here tonight? If you don’t think Lisa would mind.”

“That would be great, thanks” Dean said.

He carried Ben inside and followed Castiel up to the spare bedroom.

He watched as Castiel pulled back the covers and fluffed the pillows. Dean laid Ben down and took off his wig and shoes before standing back and watching Castiel tuck him in safely; it made Dean’s heart swell with adoration.

They crept out of the room and Castiel closed the door softly behind them.

They made their way into the lounge and collapsed into each other’s arms on the sofa.

“You may end up with face paint all over your sheets” Dean said.

“That doesn’t matter” Castiel said. “I’m just happy Ben seems to like me. He’s a lovely boy.”

“I told you that you had nothing to worry about” Dean said. “I’m so happy that you get along” he said as he reached for the Ben’s bag of candy which Castiel had placed on the coffee table.

“Hey, no” Castiel said sternly as he grabbed Dean’s arm. “I promised Ben not to let you have any.”

Dean could not even be mad. Instead he smiled at Castiel and said something which he had been finding the opportune moment to say for the past few weeks.

“I love you.”

Castiel looked shocked for a moment before grinning from ear-to-ear.

“I love you too.”

They kissed gently but with obvious passion and adoration.

Dean had not felt this happy in a long time.

And it all started to fall apart because of one stupid mistake.

It was six months into their relationship. Castiel had been asked to give a lecture at the local college about his latest exhibitions at the museum.

Dean went to Castiel’s house in the morning to make sure that he was ready. He knew that Castiel would be having a hard time preparing to be the centre of attention in a room full of people he did not know; even people without social anxiety struggle in that situation.

He found Castiel in his bedroom fiddling with a bow tie which he had bought especially for the occasion; it was just so typically Cas and it only solidified Dean’s belief that he was the most adorable person in the world.

“Let me help you with that, baby” Dean said. He saw just how much Castiel’s fingers were trembling.

“Thank you” Castiel said with a deep shuddery breath. “Why did I say yes to this?”

“Because you’re brave and you want to inspire people” Dean reminded him.

“Right” Castiel said. “Dean…will you come to the lecture? I think if I see you there and I feel like I’m just talking to you I’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, of course I will” Dean said with a soft smile. He booped a kiss on the end of Castiel’s nose and stood back to take a look at him. “You’re as cute as a button” he half teased.

“That wasn’t exactly what I was going for, but thank you.”

“Alright” Dean said. “I have to take Ben to baseball practise. I’ll see you at..?”

“Three” Castiel said.

“I’ll see you at three” Dean affirmed before giving Castiel a quick kiss. “You’re gunna be awesome” he assured him once more.

“I will be now” Castiel smiled.

********************

After Ben had finished practise Dean checked his watch and saw it was only one-thirty. It would not take him long to drop Ben off and get to the university so he asked if Ben wanted to go and get a milkshake; the boy had happily agreed.

They walked to a nearby dinner and enjoyed a couple of drinks together. Afterwards Dean checked his watch again, but he saw that the time was unchanged.

He frowned and tapped the glass but none of the hands were working.

“Oh no” Dean murmured. “What time is it?!” he asked Ben.

“It’s almost three” the boy replied as he looked at the clock on the wall.

“Crap!” Dean exclaimed as he scrambled to pull some dollar bills out of his pocket. “Sorry, kiddo, we gotta go.”

They raced out to the car and Dean drove to Lisa’s house as quickly as possible.

Dean tried to apologise as Ben had to practically jump out of the car but the young boy simply told him to shut up and get to Cas.

When Dean looked at the clock on the dashboard he saw it was almost three-thirty.

He repeatedly cursed under his breath when he turned on to the main road and found it was backed up with traffic.

Dean felt tears begin to collect the corners of his eyes. He knew that he had let Cas down and now there was little he could do about it.

The clocked rolled up to four and Dean was still stuck.  

His phone started ringing and his stomach clenched with guilt when he saw that it was Cas. He picked it up with a shaky hand and answered.

“Sweetheart-”

“Don’t, Dean” Castiel whispered with a broken voice; it was obvious that he had been crying and that made tears finally spill from Dean’s eyes too.

“Cas, please” Dean said just as quietly. “I’ll come pick you up and we can-”

“No” Castiel sniffed. “Don’t come here” he said sternly. “I-I don’t want to see you right now.”

He hung up.

Dean carelessly threw his phone onto the passenger seat and ran his hands down his face.

He did not know what to do.

Dean decided it was best to give Cas some time to cool off before he tried to make his apology. He picked up some honeysuckles - Cas’ favourite flowers - as an extra display of regret.

When he arrived at the front door of Cas’ house Dean took a deep breath to calm his nerves before knocking.

He heard Castiel move across the floorboards, and there was a pause which indicated he was debating whether or not to open it. When he heard the lock click Dean let his shoulders sag a little with relief.

“Yes?” Castiel said more bluntly then Dean had ever heard him before.

“I…I just wanted to say I’m sorry again and make sure you’re okay” Dean said; he felt extremely meek all of a sudden. “I got you these” he said as he quickly thrust out the bunch of flowers.

Castiel looked at Dean cautiously before taking them and going back into the house. He left the door open so Dean assumed that he was allowed to follow.

Castiel put the flowers on the coffee table and sat on the sofa before blankly staring at the wall.

“How could you do that to me?” He asked without even looking at Dean. “You knew how scared I was.”

“Cas, I’m sorry” Dean said as he ran a hand down his face. “My watch was broke and I just lost track of time being with Ben-”

“You knew how important this was to me!” Castiel yelled as stood up and turned to Dean. He was shaking violently and had tears streaming down his face.

“Sweetheart, you need to calm down” Dean said without thinking as he tried to move closer to Cas. “You’re going to have a panic attack-”

“Why do you care?!” Castiel shouted. “Why don’t you just go back to Lisa and Ben?!They’re obviously more important to you!”

Dean froze. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You won’t have missed it if you hadn’t been doing them a favour!” Castiel accused. “I’m your partner now; not Lisa. Ben isn’t even your real son!”

As soon as the words left him Castiel looked horrified and clapped his hands over his mouth.

Dean stared at him with shock before he was suddenly consumed with his own inexplicable rage.

“How dare you?” He seethed. “I love that kid more than anything! If Lisa had stopped me from seeing him then I would have died!”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry” Castiel quivered. He had to sit down because he felt like his legs were going to give out. “I really like Ben, I do. I didn’t mean it, Dean. I was just angry-”

“No, you did mean it!” Dean bellowed and Castiel flinched violently. “How long you been keeping that one to yourself, huh? How long you have you wanted to call me out for that?”

“Dean-” Cas whimpered.

“For Christ sake, Cas, you’re a grown man! You shouldn’t need me to hold your hand! It’s Pathetic.”

And then Castiel really did burst into tears as he let out a loud sob.

A feeling like ice ran down Dean’s spine as the gravity of what he had said hit him; God, he had made Cas’ mental illness sound like it meant nothing. And then Castiel said something which really made Dean hate himself:

“You’re right.”

“No, no sweetheart” Dean said quickly as he went to sit beside Castiel and pulled him into his arms without hesitation. He was relieved when Castiel did not try and pull away but instead buried his face in Dean’s chest and clung to him like he never wanted to let go. “I’m so sorry. I know it’s difficult for you to control. I-I didn’t mean-. I’m so proud of you for still getting up there.”

“No, I’m weak.” Castiel sniffled. “I should be trying harder to get better.”

“No, you just go at your own pace, sweetheart” Dean encouraged; he has to try and keep his own voice steady as he too fell victim to tears. “You made such a huge step today and I’m so proud. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there and I’ll never forgive myself-”

“Don’t say that” Castiel said as he pulled back and wiped his eyes so he could look Dean in the face. “I-it was an accident. I know you would never do that intentionally. And I’m so sorry for what I said.”

“It’s alright, we both said stuff we didn’t mean” Dean said.

Castiel nodded. “Will you…stay tonight?”

“Of course” Dean said and then softly kissed the top of Castiel’s head.

They went upstairs and stripped down to their boxers before nestling in Castiel’s bed together. Dean held Castiel close and whispered sweet nothings into his ear until the smaller man fell asleep.

It took Dean a while to follow suit as his mind just would not whirring with doubt. They had made up for now, but there was still more to discuss. This had been there first fight, but it has been pretty huge. Things had been said out of anger, but now they would always be there, nagging in the back of their minds.

And Dean was worried that now something about their perfect relationship had changed forever.

Following that night things were a little stilted for a few days, but after they talked about it some more both Dean and Castiel felt more at ease and they soon fell back into what felt like their regular rhythm.

A month passed without much thought.

One evening, Dean invited Castiel over for dinner. After coming out on the other side of their argument Dean felt like they were ready to take the next step in their relationship; he wanted to ask Castiel if they could live together.

Dean had made meatloaf and was just placing it in the oven when he heard the front door open - he had given Castiel a key a few weeks ago.

The smaller man came into the kitchen with a huge smile on his face.

“Dean, I have such wonderful news!”

“What is it, baby?”

“They’ve made some more discoveries at the pyramids at Giza and they’ve chosen me to be part of the excursion!”

“Sweetheart, that’s amazing!” Dean grinned. He picked Castiel up in a tight hug and spun him around excitedly.

“I know! It’s been so long since I’ve been part of a project this huge” Castiel explained as Dean put him down again. “Six months in Egypt-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa” Dean said as he pulled back and held onto Castiel’s shoulders.   “Six months?” He said incredulously. “Cas, that’s half a year! Th-that’s only a little less than how long we’ve been together.”

“I know” Castiel frowned. “But, Dean, it’s been my dream to work at such iconic sites like the pyramids-”

“When are you supposed to be leaving?” Dean cut in. Castiel snapped his mouth shut and looked at the wall. “Cas?”

“Next week” he replied quietly.

Dean’s eyes widened. “Next week!” He exclaimed with shock. “And you didn’t think to talk to me about this first?!”

“Why would I?” Castiel asked with genuine confusion.

Dean scoffed. “Are you being serious right now? You decide to just up and leave for half a friggin’ year without even consulting me! We’re supposed to be partners, Cas! We’re supposed to talk things out! Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Did you even think about me?”

“No!” Castiel yelled. “No, I didn’t! Because like you said Dean, this is just a seven month relationship! Archaeology is my life’s work.”

There was a moment of silence where Castiel felt like all the air in his lungs was being sucked out of him as he watched Dean go from visible anger to silent brooding.

“Just seven months?” Dean repeated lowly. “So basically all this time has meant nothing to you?”

“No, that’s not what I-” Castiel sighed as he ran a hand down his face. “I’m sorry, that came out harsher than I intended-”

“I wanted to ask if we could move in together, Cas” Dean said with tears springing to the corners of his eyes. “But instead you want to do the opposite and make sure we’re as far apart as possible.”

“Dean, you are being ridiculous” Castiel huffed. “You knew my job would involve traveling, and if you truly loved me then you’d be happy for me and say that we’ll make it work-”

“I do love you, dumbass!” Dean exclaimed; there was nothing he could do to prevent the tears from rolling now. “How could you even question that? Why the hell do you think I’m so upset?! But clearly you don’t love me enough to even spare a second thought.”

“Why can’t you understand?” Castiel said impatiently. “I can’t deal with you like this. I’m leaving.”

With that he stormed away and slammed the door behind him as he exited the apartment.

Dean sat down at the table and buried his head in his hands.

Yes. Things had definitely changed.

A few days passed and Dean did not hear from Castiel, or make an attempt to contact him. Instead he had hauled himself up in the Roadhouse bar, but he found that he did not even have the will to drink himself stupid.

“Why so blue?”

Dean turned to find a stunning girl with waist length red hair and piercing green eyes.

“Relationship troubles” Dean replied glumly.

“Well if it’s revenge your looking for, I’d be happy to help” the woman said with a seductive smile as she ran her hand up and down Dean’s thigh.

Dean was not sure that he wanted her to stop.

*********************

It was Castiel’s doorstep Dean found himself stood on later that night rather than the woman’s. As soon as she’d made the offer to go back to her apartment Dean had quickly shut the prospect down. The thought of cheating on Cas repulsed him; he should not have even allowed her to touch him.

He had left the bar and kept walking until he almost subconsciously found himself outside of Castiel’s house.

He knocked and saw the light flick on from the landing; he has no idea it was so late.

Castiel opened the door with his eyes only half open and his hair ruffled all over the place; god he was cute.

“Dean, what are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night” Castiel complained.

“I couldn’t sleep without telling you something” Dean confessed.

Castiel let him inside.

They went into the lounge and Castiel sat on the sofa. Dean tentatively sat on the opposite end. He rested his elbows on his knees and wrung his hands together nervously.

“I was just at a bar and a woman hit on me” he confessed without prompting; he thought it best to get it over with quickly. “There was a split second when she touched me and I thought about doing something just to hurt you. I didn’t. I instantly regretted even thinking about it.”

“Dean…it’s okay.”

Dean looked over at Castiel with wide eyes. The other man did not even look angry; if anything he looked understanding.

Dean frowned. “No, it’s not.”

“If you say nothing happened then I believe you. There is no need to dwell on it” Castiel tried to assure him; his words appeared genuine and that made Dean somewhat frustrated. Did he not even care? “I understand that I hurt you by making such a huge decision without talking to you about it first.”

“No, Cas, I shouldn’t have gotten mad like I did” Dean said. “I’d be pretty damn selfish if I made you choose between me and a job you love. And afraid because I know I would not be the one you chose. “So…” He had told himself that he would not pause and he would say the next part with as much conviction as possible, but he choked nonetheless. “I support you going to Egypt. I just reacted like I did because I’m gunna miss you so damn much.”

Castiel smiled softly and moved across the sofa to pull the other man into a gentle embrace. He did not mention when he felt his shoulder begin to grow damp as Dean buried his face there and the taller man was grateful for it.

“C'mon, let’s go to bed” Castiel encouraged.

“No, not tonight” Dean said as he pulled away. “I don’t deserve that.”

“Dean-”

“Seriously, Cas. It’s fine” Dean said. “I’ll call you tomorrow and we can make plans” he promised. “We’re going to make the most of this next week.”

The time we have left together, Dean thought sombrely.

The clock really had started to tick.

A week passed way too quickly for Dean’s liking. There had been many times when he had been stuck in a dry spell at work that he prayed for such an occurrence, but now the one time that he had got his wish his love was leaving him.

Dean had wanted to fill the days with picnics in the forest and walks on the beach, but Castiel said that he would much prefer lounging about in bed just holding each other, eating takeout food and watching TV. He did not want it to feel like they were just doing things they would not normally do because it would feel even more like the end.

And then as if in a blink of an eye they were stood in the airport terminal and Castiel’s flight had been called.

Dean turned to Castiel with tearful eyes, and he could see the same sorrow reflected in Cas’ bright blue ones.

“Don’t say it” Castiel pleaded. “Just say you love me.”

“I love you” Dean said as he cupped Castiel’s cheek in his palm and soothed his thumb across the smaller man’s cheek. “We’ll make it work.”

“I love you too” Castiel replied. He tried his best to smile but found that he could not, so he attempted to hide the fact by pressing his lips fiercely against Dean’s.

Dean savoured the passionate yet tender kiss and just hoped that he would always remember the feeling of warmth and joy that it gave him.

They eventually broke apart.

“Go, or else you’ll miss the gate” Dean lightly urged.

Castiel nodded but did not leave before flinging his arms around Dean’s waist for one last embrace. He did not say another word though, and after a few moments he simply turned and walked away.

There was a painful pang in Dean’s heart that feared he walking away for good.

Castiel video-called Dean as soon as he arrived at the site to tell him he had gotten there safe. It had been 10 o'clock in the morning over there, so Dean had to stay up until 3am. Cas was so excited to show Dean around, and Dean was glad to see that he was so happy, but he knew that only being able to see Castiel’s smile on a screen was going to make the next six months even more torturous.

After that, Castiel did not try to call again for another two weeks.

Dean had tried a couple of days later but Cas had not responded. He brushed it off because Cas was still probably busy settling in so he waited another few more day, but there was still no reply.

Not wanting to seem pushy Dean decided to wait until Castiel contacted him, but as each call-less day passed-by Dean started to feel more and more anxious.

When Castiel did eventually call it was one o'clock in the morning for Dean. The screen on his phone was blaring and chirruping away, yet after days of waiting Dean found that there was a part of him that did not want to answer; a part of him that wanted Castiel to feel the same pain that he did.

But he wanted to know that Castiel missed him as much. He wanted to know that Castiel was finding it just as hard being apart.

Castiel’s lack of response when Dean had told him about the girl in the bar had started to make Dean wonder if Cas was losing his investment in the relationship, and Dean knew that he only had himself to blame. He should have supported Cas when he told him about Egypt, but the gap which had slowly been growing between them had started way before then; when Dean had basically called Castiel pathetic because of his anxiety. He wondered if that was part of the reason why Castiel had said yes to leaving so suddenly, and why he had not given Dean a second thought.

But did Cas even realise how much that truly hurt Dean? To be told by the man he loved that he did not even come into the equation when making huge life decisions. Did he understand how much it hurt when he had scolded Dean for spending time with Ben? For seeing him as his own son? Dean had not realised how much he had carried the pain of that particular outburst.

Both he and Castiel had made errors which they believed that they had moved on from, but it seemed that there has been much more to discuss and neither of them particularly had the communication skills to deal with them.

But then Dean thought about hearing Castiel’s voice, seeing his broad smile, and for that brief moment all that other stuff did not matter as he finally reached for the phone, but he realised that it had gone silent.

Castiel had already given up.

Six months passed painfully slowly. Castiel and Dean did talk but as time went on the conversation became more and more stilted and awkward until eventually, in the final month, there were no calls at all.

However, they had agreed that Dean would pick Castiel up from the airport on the day of his return.

There was a huge part of Dean screaming at him to just walk away as he waited in the terminal because he knew what was to come; he knew that as soon as he saw Castiel he was going to break down.

When the tannoy announced that Castiel’s flight had arrived Dean’s whole body started to shake. He watched the gate without blinking and willed himself not to cry.

It took Dean a moment to register when Castiel was actually walking towards him; mostly because Dean was too busy panicking to notice, but also because there seemed to be something different about Cas’ appearance.

There were a few brief moments where they stared at each other, not sure what to say.

Eventually, Castiel let out a sound reminiscent of a sob and flung his arms around Dean’s neck, burying his face into the taller man’s shoulder. Dean held Castiel close as he finally allowed himself to cry too.

But they both knew that their tears did not come from a place of happiness.

Present Day…

They had decided to break up there and then.

Dean and Castiel had both painfully realised that neither of them had truly forgiven the other, no matter how desperately they wanted to, and that they did not have the communication skills to discuss matters without making things worse. So, they had agreed to leave whilst it still made them feel heartbroken rather than allowing things to progress to pure hatred.

In those three years Dean had endeavoured in flings and one-night stands with various men and women, but he had not connected with any of them like he had with Cas, and there was no one who he had wanted to introduce to Ben; the poor boy had been very upset about Dean and Cas’ break up.

So, Dean had thrown himself into his work, fixing up car after car. All he had for company now on days that he could not spend with Ben was his trusty Impala; but now even she was testing him.

And yet, Dean realised; perhaps she was still looking out for him. Why else would she choose this day, on this street, outside this restaurant, at this exact moment to have an engine failure? It was if she had known Cas was coming; the last source of happiness Dean had in his life.

Dean got back in the driver’s seat and turned the keys again. The engine roared into life, and although she was ready to go Dean found that he could not bring himself to press down on the gas pedal. And yet, even though he could not drive away, Dean was not sure that he could not go into the restaurant either.

************************

For almost two hours Dean sat in his car, hands on the steering wheel, but the problem was he was not sure if he was supposed to be convincing himself to stay or go.

He had spent so many nights thinking about Cas and where they could be right now if they had just been able to talk. He would give anything just to see Castiel’s smile again; to see his soft blue eyes and feel warmth, love, and safety which they provided.

Dean was bombarded with memories of the precious time which he and Cas had spent together; the good far outweighed the bad. The more Dean thought about the past the more he pined to know what the future could hold, and the only way he could ever know was to act in the present.

He could not let this chance pass him by.

Dean got out of the impala and gave the hood a pat in thanks before slowly making his way over to the restaurant.

He pushed the door open and stepped inside.

At first Dean did not spot Castiel and his heart started to beat even faster in fear that Cas had left without him realising, but then he spotted the hunkered over form – much like Castiel had first looked sat on the bar stool when Dean had first laid eyes on him – in the corner, trembling slightly and nervously ripping a napkin into tiny squares.

The table was set for two, but Castiel’s cutlery was the only ones out of place, and he had two empty glasses in front of him. There was a basket of bread which was untouched, and Dean noticed a waiter lingering by who kept shooting Castiel pitiful looks.

The scene made it obvious; Castiel was supposed to be on a date and he had been stood up. The fact did not fill Dean with sadness, but rather an inexplicable rage. How dare some asshole stand up someone as wonderful as Castiel? The stupid son-of-a-bitch had no clue what he had walked away from….and maybe Dean was that stupid son-of-a-bitch.

The waiter put a sympathetic hand on Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel looked up at him with shining eyes.

“I’m sorry, Sir, but if you’re not going to order we’re going to have to give the table to someone else.”

Castiel gave a small nod and looked like he was going to cry.

That was when Dean intervened.

“Hey, sorry I’m so late!” he called over. Castiel’s eyes widened when he saw Dean and his whole body went rigid. “I should have called. That was a real dick move.”

The waiter mumbled something under his breath and looked at Dean disapprovingly before walking away.

Dean sat down and he and Castiel just stared at each other for a few moments as they tried to process seeing each other face-to-face again.

“Well, three years is pretty late” Castiel finally quipped.

Dean gave a huff of amusement and his lip curled into a lopsided smile. “Sorry, I saw you come in here and I just couldn’t stop myself.”

“It’s okay” Castiel said. “I’m glad you didn’t. Hello, Dean.”

Dean closed his eyes momentarily and allowed the sentiment to wash over him; it was so beautifully familiar.

“How’s it going, Cas?”

“Well, tonight has been terrible” Castiel sighed. “But I don’t know what I expected; I met him briefly online. Although…I can’t say that the past three years have been much better as a whole.”

“Yeah? Me either” Dean confessed.

Another silence bridged between them, but it was surprisingly not as awkward as they expected.

“There’s no point in pretending we’re just old friends” Castiel stated.

“I know, but I thought if I started out by saying that barely a day has  gone by where I haven’t thought about you that would be creepy” Dean half-joked.

“Forget creepy, that’s cheesy” Castiel jibed. “And clearly stolen from one of those romantic comedies you hate to love.”

“Ah, ya got me” Dean shrugged. “But…I have missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too” Castiel said with a small smile.

“Full disclosure, I stress ate a whole pizza before coming in here” Dean confessed; it made Castiel laugh and it was like music to Dean’s ears. “So…you maybe wanna…go to a bar and get a drink?”

“Yeah” Castiel said. “And I think I know which bar.”

********************

“Wow, it is exactly the same as it was three years ago” Dean commented as they entered the bar where they had first met.

“Yeah, I haven’t been back since” Castiel said. “Too painful.”

Dean nodded in understanding.

They ordered some beers and took a booth in the corner. They spent hours talking about what they had been up to over the past few years. Dean told Castiel about how Ben was growing and that he was starting middle school. Castiel was pleased to know he was doing well as he missed the sweet child. Dean confessed that not much else had changed; he still worked at the garage and loved fixing up the classic cars, and he tried to casually mention that he had not met anyone else romantically; the way Castiel’s lips had twitched upwards at that brought him hope.

Castiel informed Dean about the digs he had been on all over the world, but after three years on the move he was ready to stay put for a while.

“I feel like it’s time that I start a family” Castiel explained. “I’ve been on a few crappy dates but…but I always found myself comparing them to you because…because you were the best boyfriend I ever had and…and none of them could live up to you.”

Dean started to blush profusely.

“Cas…I could be way off here, but…I would like it if we could go on a date some time?”

Castiel twisted his beer bottle around on the table and seemed hesitant.

“I do still love you, Dean” he admitted. “And I think I’ve always known that, but…what if we just make the same mistakes? I don’t think I…” his voice broke. “I don’t think that I could bear to lose you again.”

Dean took Castiel’s hand. “We know where we went wrong now and we have grown since then. We’ve just been talking like nothing ever happened. I’m not saying that we have to pick up where we left off…I’m saying we could try starting again. Get to know each other again. Learn how to talk to each other.”

Castiel offered Dean a small smile. “Do you want me to go and sit on that stool so that you can rescue me again?” he asked jokily.

“No” Dean chuckled. “Let’s try taking a different route.” He picked up his beer and tried to appear overly seductive. “So, you come here often?”

Castiel laughed. “No, please don’t.”

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

“No!”

“If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together-”

“Please stop!” Castiel said, still giggling. “I’ll have dinner with you tomorrow if you stop right now.”

“Alright” Dean relented. “We’ve just gotta take things slow.”

“Not too, slow” Castiel said as he squeezed Dean’s hand. “I’ve missed….baking you pies.”

Dean laughed. “Yeah, I’ve missed that too.”

Three Years Later…

Dean woke up with the gentle breeze blowing through the balcony window. The only sounds were the waves washing up to the soft white sand and the light rustling of leaves. The setting may have been a paradise, but it was not Dean’s favourite part of the scene.

That part was Castiel, sleeping naked beside him underneath a white sheet which clung to his body like a Greek God. Dean was on his honeymoon with his husband, and if that meant staying cuddled up in bed all day with the man he loved and letting the rest of the world pass by, then so be it.

He spooned himself behind Castiel and the smaller man made a noise of content as he held Dean’s hands which were rested on his stomach.

Dean pressed delicate kisses along Castiel’s neck.

“We made it” he said quietly.

“We did” Castiel smiled. “It took us a while but…I don’t think that was a bad thing.”

“I know but…I can’t believe that I ever let you go” Dean said.

“I know; those three years apart where hell, but think of it this way; we needed to make those mistakes so that we would learn and eventually we could have this” Castiel replied.

“Okay” Dean said. “But there is one thing that I know for sure” he said as he squeezed Castiel tight. “I am never going to let you go again.

[punkscowardschampions]

Billie & Indie

Billie: Indie! Pabs made frango a passarinho, you want in? Billie: also he said he saw you out at that boy in his year's party on Saturday Billie: you must not have seen him Billie: I got lunchtime detention for all the notes I was trying is pass you in Maths! Billie: Too busy 💤 or doodling, that is the question Indie: spitting dem bars all the way to my 💘 but nah itd be a mad treck from where i @ Indie: lo must have it twisted cos i aint rolling w dem younger rudeboys at no gatherings Indie: my bad tho Indie: too sleepy innit Indie: olders got partys for me to hit up standard Billie: where are you laying your head these days my dear? Billie: aside from your desk, naturally 😋 Indie: 😂😂 Indie: getting the zzzs i need there like Indie: wen im in im out for the count Billie: but what about all the times you're not in 🤔 Indie: in endz Indie: rollin w my boyz or my BOY you know Indie: its chill Billie: what does rolling entail exactly Billie: i'm unfamiliar Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: rolling up 🚬 standard but can be any thing Indie: hangin, chillin reh teh teh Indie: it be what it be, bills Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 tho Billie: I still feel like those are all just different words for the same thing Billie: which still eludes me but I'm glad you're having fun! Billie: We miss you though, don't you have any time to spare, pleaaaaaaaaaaaase Indie: what you need im here rn Indie: hit me w it Billie: I don't need anything, just want your company silly Indie: you got it Indie: we chatting Billie: Yes, of course Billie: but in person too, yes? Billie: It's not the same without you Indie: what you trying to see my face for? Indie: its still this Indie: [sends selfie] Billie: 😂 Billie: [sends back suitably silly selfie of own] Indie: living for it baby Indie: you looking 🔥 Billie: Thank you Billie: Now I got all the pink out Billie: surprisingly stubborn stuff Indie: mine got dashed mad fast Indie: must be dem curls holdin Billie: Yeah and mine isn't even as textured as some of the others Billie: thank god Ri didn't do it too Indie: she aint as extra as how we is Indie: blessed that i aint blood of ya cos my mans werent feelin the look Indie: hed be proper vexed if it stayed Billie: os homens não sabem nada Indie: this boy got plenty knowledge trust 😏 Billie: NADA 👏 Indie: you reping sound like the other mckenna rn Indie: something you wanna chat ? Billie: I don't need to come out, no Billie: but I appreciate the offer of a listening ear and open mind Indie: safe Indie: you down to mix me up 💘 potion? Indie: thatd be valued by me Billie: Why do you need it? I thought we were in love? Billie: Not you and me 😂 Indie: 😂 Indie: steady bills Indie: not trying to come for your sister & mckennas ⛈ Indie: let em have a min baby Billie: I don't think anyone is enjoying the rain Billie: we're safe to move on Indie: innit tho Indie: hold it for me @ school & ill come thru  yeah? Billie: Of course Billie: but what exactly do you want to happen? it changes what I have to do Indie: gotta keep him 😍😍😍😍😍😍 Indie: that mood Billie: That should be fine Billie: I can't force or influence freewill and fate, obviously but I can certainly help along what is there, that shouldn't be a problem Indie: what it gonna taste? Indie: not tryna make him 😵 Indie: not more than he like standard least 😂 Billie: It's okay, more than likely we'll get you to drink it Billie: then you can attract the love, if you see what I mean Indie: how it not gon attract some next man tho? Billie: with great power, Indigo Billie: you know how to control your allure, I trust 😂 Indie: mayb we swerve it Indie: not tryna get dashed for this like 💔 Billie: Well that shouldn't happen Billie: it's not viagra Indie: 😂😂 Billie: You seem worried Indie: nah Indie: all good Billie: Are you sure? Billie: I've got lots of things for anxiety and stress Indie: what i got to b flat roofin over? Indie: keep your stash Billie: you tell me Indie: nah im jam Indie: nothing to chat on Billie: Good Indie: how you b? Billie: Well, on reflection Billie: I'm okay most of the time but in general I'm quite sad Indie: 💔💔💔 Indie: you got no spells for it? Billie: I'm trying Billie: everything, every day Billie: but not everything can be sorted with magic Billie: not of that kind, anyway Indie: tru Indie: its a madness Indie: i feel it Billie: I know Billie: We've got to stick together Indie: ri aint here tho Indie: not how it can be Billie: Indie Indie: ? Billie: I think Edie has gone too Billie: lots of her stuff is gone Indie: she gon come back thru Indie: thats just how she rolls Indie: dont get it twisted & get 😢 Billie: I know but she usually only takes a bag Billie: if anything Indie: how you kno she not she not shoting her garms for the cash? Indie: gotta do what you gotta do innit Billie: Maybe you're right Indie: if you still got no peace after hot min come @ ri w it Indie: thats how she do making shit hectic again Indie: idk Indie: ma vibes like Billie: Like you said, she's not here either Billie: soon none of us will Indie: shes rollin deep w mckenna but she aint out your reach Indie: you in my inbox you can b in hers Billie: Not the same is it Indie: as face2face nah but better than no thing Indie: trust Billie: I guess so Billie: I hope she comes back Billie: it's horrible when we have to tell the police, they basically blame mum and dad Indie: the feds dont kno how to be anything but amp bringin the dred Indie: dont take it hard Billie: it was different the first few times Billie: now she's just a known runaway and they don't even try to help Billie: just get angry about the paperwork and wasted time Indie: they love to get vexed Indie: always on me too cos i got this face & name Billie: Yeah Billie: I thought they were meant to help Indie: nah baby they only bout helping theyselves Indie: sorry you had to get schooled on that like this Indie: been round me all days late cos the madness drew tryna live rn Indie: like i kno where hes @ Billie: I heard Billie: I always used to think it was a good thing when he went to prison Billie: is that bad Indie: nah man Indie: he heading back that kinda way rejoice in it if you wanna Indie: some good gotta come Billie: Selfish really Billie: but it meant you got to stay with us all the time and he wasn't around Billie: he messed with the vibes Billie: everything was bad when he was around Indie: speak your truth bills 😂 Indie: shots fired Billie: I'm sorry Billie: I try not to be hateful towards anyone but Indie: if you feel it you feel it Indie: whats acting like you dont gon do? Billie: I tend to think of it as wasted or at very least misplaced energy Billie: I try to feel sorry for people I don't get good energy from, or just ignore them Indie: i been knew about wasted energy fr 😂 waiting for my 🚀🚀 to hit like Indie: better energy be coming when i come up Billie: Does it work? Indie: yeah Indie: esp this new kick im on Billie: That's good Billie: what are the side effects Indie: depends what you trying to take Indie: dont be channelling the 👻 of my mas fix on your first go out Billie: I'm just working out the pros and cons Billie: doesn't it scare you? because you're mum died Indie: aint no thing that scares me Indie: we all going Indie: & she got me, not trying to let anything do me like how she went Billie: What's that like? Billie: I'm not scared of death but I'm in no great hurry Indie: its good Indie: nothing can touch me Indie: if im livin im livin if i aint i get to be this age forever 👻 Billie: That must be very reassuring Billie: What about good things though, can they touch you? Indie: how you mean? Billie: I mean, they say you have to know bad to know good Billie: so if you don't have that, do you get to have good or is untouchable outside of that Indie: i kno all it but it just dont be affecting me like that Indie: unless how i want it Indie: all good all the time Billie: Interesting Billie: I wish I could try it sometime Indie: i got you Indie: come thru & link me when Billie: Really? Billie: Okay Billie: I thought I might need a dead parent too Indie: is that tryin to be my key? idk Indie: i was reckonin on drews connections being that if there is Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 life Billie: I misunderstood slightly Billie: I thought that was what made you untouchable but in that case Billie: I'd be happy to try Indie: could be connected i cant speak on knowin Indie: i only got 1 dead ma & didnt get to kno her like that Billie: Yes, I would never ask you to share Indie: 😂 im saying i got others who aint Indie: so mayb its not a powerful thing Billie: we'll have to see Indie: not that i got em rn if you tryna test Billie: mothers or drugs? Billie: i'm lost Indie: mas Indie: you kno i always got the other Billie: Why not? Indie: we gone from each other Indie: like you said everyone is Billie: you just have to come round Billie: you know Indie: where? Billie: home Indie: but where that tryin to be now? Billie: Wherever your family is Indie: & who are they now? Billie: Whoever you choose Billie: us included, I hope Indie: nah Indie: it dont get to be however i want Billie: Why not? Indie: idk its not the way Indie: everyone tryin to tell me how to choose & aint listenin Billie: I'm listening Billie: and the universe Billie: What do you want, Indie? Indie: I want it how it was Indie: nah i want him gone and her back Billie: Yeah Billie: Me too Billie: I think we all do Billie: I'm thinking on ways to make it so Indie: but even if she comes home it aint gonna be for me just you Indie: we got too much beef Billie: I didn't know Billie: what happened? Indie: she got no love for me rn cos i trying to keep my mans Indie: she dont understand how i feel Billie: I see Billie: Did you tell her? Indie: yeah but she aint trying to kno she just wanna be vexed and tell me how to be Indie: shit gets too heated Billie: She'll calm down Billie: it's nothing to lose a sister over is it Indie: tell her Indie: she aint spoke to me since i got my ink Indie: she said she aint here for me its done Billie: I know she didn't mean that Billie: do you actually want me to talk to her for you? I can Indie: what you think you gonna say? Indie: she aint gonna be about me unless i dash him Billie: You're more important to her than that Billie: I'll just tell her you want to talk Indie: i cant Indie: i aint got no energy to be fighting w her Indie: hes here & she aint that decides it Billie: Okay Billie: It's up to you Indie: nah Indie: no things up to me they are how they are Billie: If you don't try to change them, yeah Billie: not saying you have to Indie: girl i aint got power like that i aint you Billie: If I had any more than you she'd be back already Billie: but you have to try, right? Billie: Passivity is still a choice Indie: it hurts Billie: I know Billie: but it doesn't feel Billie: good, lack of a better word Billie: accepting how it is either, does it? Indie: nah but its easier to act than trying & getting owned for it Indie: you feel me? Indie: if you gotta let stuff in where you gonna stop Billie: Hmm Billie: Good question Billie: When the stuff is more bad than it is good Indie: how you measuring Indie: shits such a heavy mix Billie: That's the trick, isn't it Billie: Depends how much bad you're willing to take Billie: they aren't equal, bad deeds weigh much heavier Billie: there'd need to be a lot more good to counteract them Indie: hear this, if a boy makes me feel everything that's bad and its good Indie: he hurts me and he wants me Indie: is it equal or nah? Billie: I can't tell you what you can deal with, only what I think you should Billie: and it doesn't sound equal to me Indie: but maybe close as imma get Indie: w how lads be Indie: they want what they want and how they want it & if he wants me then thats good Billie: What's good about it? Indie: feelin the love Indie: like who we tryna measure him against? mckenna? your da? idk thats a madness Indie: they grown Billie: I don't think all boys are like that Billie: or men Billie: there's an inbetween Indie: is it tho Billie: 'course Billie: we're not like lots of girls at school but we're not grown either Indie: idk maybe ive got things twisted Indie: or maybe i cant hit you w the real words Billie: That's alright, you don't need to Billie: get it right for yourself though, that's important, even if it takes a while Indie: what if rio been right & she hates me Billie: She doesn't hate you, for one Billie: and she's not going to hit you with an 'I told you so' Billie: give her a chance Indie: i gotta hit her up Indie: imma do it Billie: Well done Billie: I'm so sure it'll be worth it Indie: youre sick Indie: 💖💖💖 Billie: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 Indie: real 👑 moves Indie: im not about to forget it Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 or nah Billie: 'Course not 😊 just try to see my notes next time 😂 Indie: innit tho Indie: come find me when he aint around Billie: 👍 Will do

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: You're with him right now, aren't you? Nancy: With how that convo just went you're gonna need to be Rio: Oh Rio: No, I'm actually at work but I can go back if I need to Nancy: It's me giving fair warning, it's up to you Rio: I don't know what to say Nancy: Me either Rio: This isn't how we wanted this to go down Rio: but I guess there's no speech that would prepare anyone, yeah? Nancy: Unlikely Nancy: You're the only ones who had any time to prepare and you're struggling, like Rio: It's just Rio: if it was anyone else, we wouldn't have to make this big thing of it, it feels awkward Rio: I know it isn't anyone else and that's the point but it doesn't take away from that feeling Nancy: Well, I'm glad you feel awkward too 'cause it's fucking weird Nancy: And he doesn't care at all so Rio: It's just hard for him to hear that Rio: it doesn't feel it Nancy: I literally don't understand this Nancy: You hate him Rio: Well Rio: I don't Rio: It's a headfuck, I know Nancy: Do you? Rio: Yeah Rio: This is why this is the last way we wanted this to come out Nancy: Like there's a better one Nancy: It's still Rio: You can say it, whatever you want Nancy: I've slagged him off to you so many times and the whole time you've Rio: It's not like I've been repeating it, I promise Nancy: That's not even the issue Nancy: God, this is so strange Rio: What is? Like, your main issues personally anyway Nancy: I don't have words for any of this Nancy: We grew up together, all of us, and then me and him drifted but it was okay 'cause so did you and him Nancy: You understood what he was like instead of falling under his spell like everyone else Rio: I still do Rio: I've not been fooled into thinking he's something he's not Rio: but yeah, I've seen other sides of him too Nancy: He told me why you two really stayed away from each other Nancy: So no you don't Rio: It's hard to explain Rio: it doesn't strictly mean I bought into all that Rio: and I did still see what you were saying, regardless Nancy: I don't get why you'd do this Nancy: You're so much better than it Rio: I know it's unconventional, and lots of people are going to have lots of opinions Rio: but I care less about how hard it might be because I love him more Nancy: I don't care that you're cousins, I care that he's him and you're you Rio: Like I said, I've seen different sides Rio: and you've got to admit, he's been getting better Nancy: You don't think I've seen every side? Nancy: That's how I know which one wins out Nancy: I love him too okay, but any change has come 'cause the Chloe thing scared him straight for a while Nancy: He doesn't know how not to revert to type Rio: It's just a different relationship Rio: no one is entirely themselves with any one person really Rio: he's not always been that, he wasn't before, he doesn't have to stay it Nancy: He's been a prick way longer than he wasn't and we both know it Nancy: Harsh but true Rio: He's got his reasons Rio: don't we all? Nancy: I don't want you to get hurt, alright? Rio: I know Rio: and without sounding disingenuous I am glad you care Rio: but it's too late to go back Rio: I don't want to Nancy: Gross Nancy: Don't give me any more details, like Rio: 'Course not Nancy: Did you really have to come for my parents entire relationship dynamic and repeat it with your own spin? Nancy: I'm joking but like also not Rio: I know Rio: the parallels were not lost on me Nancy: If you break up I'll have to move countries again Nancy: Lord knows what you'd have to do Rio: Yeah Rio: It is scary, not gonna lie Nancy: I literally can't and won't pick sides Rio: I'm not going to ask you to, can't promise he wouldn't but you know Rio: hoping it's not gonna come to that, call me an optimist Nancy: Okay that's cute Nancy: Don't make me a believer this fast, thanks Rio: Sorry, like Nancy: Can we like call him by a code name or something? Nancy: This is just Rio: Only 'cos I'm dying to hear your suggestions now Nancy: Don't make me laugh right now Rio: Soz again Rio: I promise I'm never going to come to you with the kinda info that'll have you wishing you were deaf Rio: Never have, 'cos ew boys, yeah? Nancy: I was literally gonna say Nancy: I'm too gay for that whoever it is Rio: Exactly Rio: I know it's going to be weird for a while for all the other reasons but aside from that, just another straight boy right Nancy: Yeah Nancy: Some of your exes have been even bigger pricks too, but don't tell him I said that Nancy: He'll take it as a trade up Rio: My lips are sealed Rio: Though if anyone's trying to deny that then they got bigger problems Nancy: I can't believe you've used those lips on him after how the first time went Nancy: I'm dead here Rio: He was like, what, 9 Rio: Again, the eternal optimist Rio: but hardly with how much he bragged on all his practice so Nancy: Don't Rio: My bad Nancy: Did you like him then? Nancy: When he was 9 I mean, not when he was bragging Rio: I mean Rio: Not to the degree we've been keeping the secret that long Rio: I guess I had a crush on him Rio: pass you the sick bucket, like Nancy: Lord Nancy: I know he did on you, he told me Nancy: Unprompted, which is another level of gross, thank you Nancy: It's like he was in the closet over this in place of me ever being Nancy: So dramatic, like Rio: I'll save my 'cute' for him, don't worry Rio: well you know, do anything for you, like Nancy: Can I come and see you? Nancy: Like I know it's gonna be so awkward in person probably and I wanna get it over with so we can just Rio: Of course Rio: I'd like that Nancy: I miss you Nancy: Even if you do have rubbish taste in boys Rio: I miss you too Rio: all of you Rio: but I don't miss being there, you know Nancy: I get it Nancy: I feel the same about London Rio: Yeah Rio: I thought you would Nancy: I know it's Drew and I really shouldn't expect him to be anything other than the worst but I can't believe he outed you like that Nancy: So fucked up Rio: Yeah, I really hoped he wouldn't but Rio: guess he had no reason not to now Nancy: But like did he ever? I don't understand why he waited Nancy: It must've given you so much false hope that he'd actually keep his mouth shut Nancy: That's cruel Rio: I guess 'cos he wanted to fuck me himself Rio: put it bluntly Rio: couldn't really be talking shit and doing it at the same time Nancy: That makes sense but why not tell everyone after the baby shower, you know Rio: Yeah, I don't know you know Rio: Buster reckoned maybe he was trying to keep Indie on-side a bit but Rio: that worked well for him Nancy: I don't want my brother to be right about anything right now but Nancy: Could be true, I guess Rio: Kinda makes sense Rio: or he just wanted to fuck with us with false hope and sense of security, like you said Rio: Idk, but I'm relieved in a way, like you said, when would ever be the 'right' moment? Nancy: I can relate, obviously not exactly Nancy: But when I finally kissed Sian after wanting to for such a long time it was like Nancy: Not the best example considering what happened after though Nancy: Try not to crash and burn, like Rio: Noted Rio: At least you had the balls to, good idea or not Rio: decidedly not but Rio: maybe we'd have never done it without being forced, idk Nancy: Buster would Nancy: It was obvious how much he wants to be with you Nancy: Gross too but Rio: Yeah Rio: I lowkey stopped him a few times but pretend I didn't admit that he'd only be annoying Nancy: Of course Nancy: I get it now, why he trashed his room that day Nancy: I never did get the real story out of him but it makes so much sense now Rio: That was more about the Chloe thing Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: Oh so he wasn't lying Rio: Don't sound too shocked Nancy: Compared to earlier I'm positively zen Rio: Ha, I have that affect Nancy: You calmed him down that day, didn't you? Nancy: Oh god Nancy: I'm gonna go ahead and repress Rio: Unless you wanna rephrase, probably for the best Nancy: I need you to tell me the safe zones of both our houses so I can exist in there only Nancy: But I also don't wanna know Rio: ... Rio: I dunno if you want me to stay silent or if that says too much Nancy: Please tell me my room was off limits Nancy: I will die Rio: Of course Rio: Not a total animal Nancy: I'm too relieved to argue the pros and cons of what you just said so Rio: 🤐 Nancy: There is one thing I HAVE to ask though Rio: Go on Rio: Slightly concerned but Nancy: Don't worry I'm rolling my eyes at myself Nancy: But be nice to him, yeah? 'Cause I can't but like he's never been in love before Rio: I promise Nancy: He acts tough but I could take him easily Nancy: Especially with things like this Rio: I know Rio: let's not start singing no stranger to heartache though, yeah? Nancy: All I'm saying is, if what happened to me happened to him there'd be nobody left alive Nancy: He's the most dramatic McKenna there is Nancy: Worse than dad and nan put together Rio: I mean, not gonna argue Rio: you are handling it really well, you know Rio: even if you still feel the same mess now as you did then, it doesn't show Nancy: You're the only person who's said anything close to that to me Nancy: So thanks Rio: This family is just shit at talking to each other Rio: not coming for them 'cos well Nancy: I feel like mum is never gonna look at me like she used to Nancy: not to come for Buster's dramatic flair but Rio: I know Rio: She will, she's pretty good Rio: Assume Buster told you she worked it out Nancy: Yeah Nancy: I'd be more shocked if she hadn't 'cause of course Nancy: It's just she's never treated me like I'm stupid before, you know, not with the dyslexia stuff or any of it, but that was before this Rio: Feelings aren't logical though Rio: I reckon she's stinging that SHE didn't know, you know Rio: not for the 'I told you so' or anything but so she could've helped you deal Nancy: I don't know whether to be flattered or horrified that I'm better at keeping secrets than you and him combined Rio: Using all that closet angst you never got to, obviously Nancy: Which reminds me, I can't help wishing Chloe knew about this 'cause of how angry she'd be Rio: I have good news Nancy: REALLY? Nancy: did everyone know but me or what, like? Rio: awks 😬 Rio: but no, her obsession worked to her advantage and she was able to piece together us being at the same place enough times Nancy: Her and mum getting jackets now Nancy: Sorry Drew you missed your chance Rio: Honestly Rio: He did not put the effort in Rio: won't tell you the full deets 'cos you won't wanna know Nancy: umm? Rio: We'll leave it at he may as well have walked in it was that blatant Nancy: OH Nancy: oh my god have you and him ever....when I was there? Rio: Gurl Rio: don't ask Nancy: RIO I KNOW THAT MEANS YES Rio: Shh Nancy: That's despicable Rio: Well that's a bit steep Rio: it's hardly a war crime Nancy: I'm calling it a hate crime Nancy: I can Nancy: I'm gay Rio: 😂 Rio: You clearly didn't hear anything so count yourself lucky Nancy: Please I just assumed it was another posh blonde if I did Nancy: Been there, done my best to ignore that Rio: With this accent? I think not Rio: I was stealth Nancy: I didn't have a glass to the wall sounding out how you said vowels Rio: Trust, you'd know Nancy: CAN YOU NOT Rio: You brought it up! Rio: I'm not trying air my business or his Nancy: I have to go find some ground to swallow me brb Rio: 😏 okay babe Nancy: how is that a euphemism? Rio: idk, your mind, honestly woman Nancy: can you at least promise to keep your hands off each other when I visit or not? Rio: We managed this far, I think we'll be fine Rio: not PDA all the way from here on out, like Nancy: Okay Rio: Thanks, Nance Nancy: For what? Rio: For still being normal with me Nancy: If it was abnormal to fancy Buster I'd be too busy judging half the female population to even speak to you Nancy: Besides, I'm saving my big reinvention for when uni starts, like you said Rio: Yeah? Is that warning me to expect my shade and silent treatment in the post, like? Nancy: Maybe Nancy: Depends what you do between now and then Nancy: You can't see my hair flip but its happening Rio: Oh God, don't become Chloe, like Rio: a misstep if ever there was one Nancy: 😱 Rio: You know, don't be THAT mad I'm with Buster, not goals Nancy: Wash your mouth out Rio: I'm sorry but you never gave me a codename Nancy: That Prick ™️ Nancy: But I meant the comparison between me and her Nancy: That was a deep cut Rio: Yeah, she wishes Nancy: If she tries to date me next just know I predicted it Rio: I'll pray for you Nancy: Such an unholy union what else is there to do? Nancy: I love you but I'm not taking the heat off you that way, like Rio: Not to be that bitch but Rio: kinda owe me twofold now so Rio: tick tock Nancy: BITCH NO Nancy: I also draw the line at boudoir photography Rio: Damn 😂 Nancy: I'll recommend you someone Nancy: They won't be as good obviously Rio: 'Course not Rio: I know my own angles, it's cool Nancy: And nobody loves himself more than him so he's bound to as well Rio: I mean, his feed is pretty poppin' Nancy: 🙄 Rio: 😂 that was just a normal compliment Nancy: How did I not know you're so disgustingly in love? My god Rio: Gay drama, probably Nancy: Sad but true Rio: At least you've got an excuse Rio: everyone else needs a word Nancy: Honestly Rio: Though I'm cool with most of mine skillfully avoiding 'cos I don't need to do this 10x over Nancy: oh no Nancy: imagine Rio: Lucky only some of them are highkey Rio: that's enough Nancy: Yeah Nancy: not that I can say anything 'cause about to excuse myself to cry over my brother having a girlfriend when I don't Rio: Awh babe Rio: wanna hit the town when you come? Nancy: To drink, definitely Nancy: anything else with my track record is a no Rio: Your track record of 1 1/2? Rio: Come to me when you've got at least half a dozen failures, like Nancy: You don't think that's enough mistakes to be making? Rio: Nah Rio: Need I remind you your track record with drinking is not flawless either Rio: but you gotta live, babe Nancy: I'm scared, okay? Rio: That's alright Rio: they won't bite 'less you ask Nancy: 😂 Nancy: What if I'm not ready, I don't wanna fuck anyone over again Rio: It's just the club Rio: harmless, meaningless flirting is the standard Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: Will you actually come with me? Rio: 'Course Nancy: Despite Buster's coffee shop masterclass, which feels like a million years ago anyway, I don't really know what I'm doing Rio: I can show you Rio: but you gotta do it how you would, you know, you can't go too hard with an act Nancy: 🙈 Rio: It'll be fun, been ages since I flirted with a girl Nancy: Don't tell my brother that he'll get bored 😂🙄 Nancy: Help me though I need it Rio: No danger, trust Rio: I will, bring outfit options Nancy: Obviously Nancy: When are we doing this? Nancy: In typical lesbian fashion I need to angst for like 4 years prior Rio: Whenever you can get over Rio: I work most nights but I've got plenty time banked so it won't hurt Nancy: Let's make it happen soon Nancy: Everyone's doing my head in here Rio: Whenever you want, babe Rio: your brother is only as busy as usual so Nancy: Is next weekend too highkey? Rio: Nah, sounds good to me Nancy: Okay Nancy: Anything 🍀 you're missing let me know and I'll pack that too Rio: Just some decent tea, tah Nancy: That ain't even London that's just our house Nancy: Full offense mum Rio: 😂 the real beef comes out Nancy: You missed a chance to say the real tea Nancy: Come on Rio: Damn Rio: really let myself down, like Nancy: mhmm Rio: Ah well, what can ya do Nancy: Do you think if I ask your mum to cat sit while I'm there I'll ever see her again? Rio: Your Ma or the cat? Nancy: Either or Rio: I don't think she's that cold Rio: but one of mine would defs go in and give her TLC Rio: the cat, that is Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I'll text you when my flight's booked then Rio: 👍 See you then babe Nancy: Until then, remember I loved you first 💋 Rio: 😂 Love you too silly bitch