#i was originally gonna use rodimus for that last one

[we1come-to-swerves]

im on a roll rn so here’s even MORE memes 💪😼

the scavengers @ flywheels in issue 8 :

megatron, claiming he isn’t guilty during his first trial :

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #28- I Sure Hope Y’all Like Megatron

“Dark Cybertron” is finally over! Woohoo!

Who’s ready for a return to hijinks and mild peril?

I know this guy is!

Hold on a second-

We start our foray into Season 2 of MTMTE with a little meta-humor-

-and then it’s right into the swing of things, as Brainstorm uses the thin, fragile wine glass of faction-based morality to hold his personal need to make instruments of violence. Nautica disapproves, but then why wouldn’t she? She’s not been steeped in the militant ideologies of the Autobots for millions of years.

It’s six months after the convoluted events of “Dark Cybertron”, and our beloved ship, the Lost Light, is back on track for the Knight Quest. Nautica’s joined the crew, which is neat, but there are far more interesting things going on.

Like Rung actually doing his fucking job for once.

Wow, look at that little creamsicle man go.

It would seem that in the last half-year (by Earth standards) Megatron’s somehow gotten himself into the esteemed position of Captain of the Lost Light. This likely means that Rodimus has been defeated in battle, or perhaps fucked off on yet another space yacht to run away from his responsibilities. I suppose the narrative will have to fill us in on just what exactly happened.

Or, at least, I hope it does. Wouldn’t be a terribly good story if I had to guess on how exactly this dude’s in charge of a whole-ass Autobot crew.

Yes, yes, I know he switched sides, but goddammit, it takes a little more than saying sorry and changing your wardrobe to excuse the murder of half of NYC.

I mean, we can do both. Both is an option. I’ll break out The Communist Manifesto right now, let’s fuckin’ gooooooooo-

Six months prior to Megatron’s therapy appointment, Rodimus is ready to high-tail it off of Cybertron yet again. This is because, as established in previous posts, Cybertron kinda sucks butt. He bursts into the meeting Optimus Prime called- even though he’s really not leader of anything anymore, Starscream is- bids everyone farewell, and is about to run back out of the room when he’s stopped.

Turns out that the populace of Cybertron want Megatron to stand trial. That makes sense, given what all he’s done. Of course, the Autobot pals we’ve got in the room want to skip due process and go straight to the part where Megatron pays through the nose for the last four million years.

Which doesn’t feel terribly heroic or good guy-ish, but I think by this point you’ve probably caught on to the fact that everyone in IDW Transformers is morally gray at BEST.

Because Megatron’s had a rough time the last few years, in relation to his bodily integrity, spark extraction- that thing that High Command lied about in relation to Overlord- isn’t an option. It would just kill him dead.

Uh, excuse me? Optimus Prime, sir? Monsieur Premier?

Guess Optimus hasn’t been keeping up with exRiD.

Anyway, yeah, since Tyrest fucked off in “The Sound of Breaking Glass” and also tried to commit a genocide, we’re gonna need someone to cast judgement.

Course, a military trial isn’t exactly ideal, but as long as it’s open to the public, it should be fine.

Probably.

Anyway, Prowl’s also going to help. Ultra Magnus has been assigned the task of representing Megatron in court, a job which he’s positively delighted to have, if his face is any indication.

The gang breaks for lunch, and Rodimus and Optimus touch base on how the Knight Quest is going.

Because Rodimus’ half of the Matrix had the map for finding the Knights of Cybertron in it, they’re gonna have to go with Plan B.

Oh fuck yes, I love Plan B!

Unfortunately, finding the ideal romantic partner for all Cybertronians is going to have to wait until after the trial, because Optimus really wants Rodimus here for this. Though perhaps there’s a way to make things move a little faster…

Back in the present, Megatron’s had just about enough of Rung being a psychiatry joke, and is about to walk out of his appointment. Ravage is here, which is neat. Rung asks Megatron about the three most important people in his life, and how he met them. One of these people is, funnily enough, Rung.

Rung, if you’ll recall, was thrown into Megatron and Impactor’s table at Maccadams waaaaaay back in The Transformers #22, the first issue of the IDW run that Roberts wrote solo. It would seem that getting arrested and subjected to police brutality ruined his once-idealistic worldview. This is just a lightning-round recap of the events of the “Chaos Theory” storyline.

Being reminded of how hard he got dunked on makes Rung break out his copy of Megatron’s autobiography, Towards Peace. Of course, Megatron has to be “that guy”, and makes it out to be far more than it actually is. My dude, you used your writing to tell all your proto-Decepticon buddies to go beat up Whirl in prison. Let’s not make things sound more grandiose than they are.

Anyway, it turns out that Rung is actually just as much a nerd as he looks, as he reveals that he’s in possession of one of the only few copies of the original version of Towards Peace. And then he takes off his glasses and the fans go bonkers, even though he’s just got that Milne Same-Face going on, just like everyone else.

There you are, you animals.

Rung discusses Revisionism, I’m reminded that the first publication of Eugenesis had a dedication to Roberts’ son of all people, and we get the question of who Terminus is to Megatron.

But alas! The X-ray vision’s been turned on, and it’s time to see… nude robots? An in-depth anatomy lesson?

Robots are confusing sometimes. Anyways, major props to Milne for drawing all that detail. Dude does the technical stuff with a ferocity that must be awe-inspiring to behold.

Megatron’s decided that it’s time for lunch, and then he’s going to do captain stuff.

Because he’s captain of the Lost Light.

I’m convinced Rodimus is dead. That’s the only way this is happening.

Six months ago, Swerve was being awful Swerve-like, with his new buddy Crosscut- guess he finally learned the guy’s name- and Riptide, who we’ll get to a little later on. These three wonderful lads are holding a sort of “crew try-outs”, and it looks like the requirements needed for entry on Megatron’s Lost Light are stiff.

Still, maybe our new friend Nautica will make the cut.

Oh, you are simply delightful!

Despite Nautica having interest in nearly every topic in the universe, on top of having impeccable taste in booze, she just misses the cut. It’s at this point that Nightbeat bursts into the room to stop this farce from going any further. The fact that nobody mentioned anything prior to this is surprising, given that portmanteaus don’t really seem the type of thing Ultra Magnus would approve of.

Back six months ago, we see what Optimus Prime’s super great idea was to expedite the judicial process- Chromedome. It’s always Chromedome. He’s gonna do that thing he promised his late husband he’d stop doing. I suppose it’s a good thing- for Rewind, anyway- that Megatron is wholly against the idea of having his memories torn out of his head. Guess we’re gonna have to do the trial the normal, non brain-pokey way.

Optimus leaves the cell, because I suppose he’s remembered that there’s a conflict of interests here, but Rodimus stays behind to let Megatron know he deserves everything that’s coming his way.

Then Megatron breaks out the puzzle-box from Hellraiser.

In the present, Chromedome isn’t so much spiraling in his depression as he is circling the drain. Nightbeat doesn’t give a shit about that though- he’s more concerned with the fact that one of the numbers on the door to Chromedome’s room is missing. But I’m sure it’s fine.

It’s fiiiiiiiiiiine.

While Nightbeat’s busy being insensitive to his fellow man’s distress, Megatron’s arrived to his room to find his door’s been vandalized by a bunch of idiots who must have just discovered what a thesaurus is. Then he gets shot in the fucking hand with an arrow.

As you do.

Whirl’s gotten ahold of a bow, and he fully intends to use it for Megatron-directed violence. And also his fists. His very pointy fists. He punches Megatron through the fucking floor into the fuel furnace, and they fall what’s probably a good 200 feet to the ground below. Whirl yells about evening the score between the two of them, and then knees Megatron in the dick.

Turns out, Megatron remembers Whirl even better than originally thought, having gone so far as to order his forces to not kill Whirl, because, in a way, he was grateful for the lesson he learned back before the war in Rodion.

Oh man, I hope Rung’s somehow listening in on this. Like, eavesdropping is obviously bad medicine, but we’ve already established that he sucks as a professional, and he needs what few advantages he can get.

Whirl, enraged by the implication that he’s been fighting fixed battles for the last four million years, punches Megatron in the gut… and his arm gets swallowed up by an errant portal leftover from all of Shockwave’s tampering. Since you can’t really fight with only one arm, Megatron wanders off to do captainy things.

Walking back the timeline slightly, we revisit Megatron leaving Rung’s office, and the idea of personal revisionism, the conversation becoming parallel with the strange happenings going on within the ship, as Rewind’s final message is altered so as not to end with “I love you” but instead a blood-curdling scream. Chromedome is, understandably, upset by this turn of events.

Over with Whirl, it’s revealed that the little fight we saw was intentionally set up. For what purpose, or by whom, is left a mystery.

Please see a doctor.

One last flashback to the trial, as Prowl lists off everything that’s standing in the way of our Sympathetic Megatron Redemption Arc.

Good fuckin’ luck, James.

Back in the present, Megatron’s slapped a bandaid on the hole in his torso, as he checks to see what’s happening on the bridge. It would appear there’s a coffin floating around in space.

Pretty fucked up.

[scintillating-galaxias]

the inherent homoeroticism of the training room floor

some driftrod kissing in the middle of sword fighting practice, just ‘cause

(read it here on ao3!)

-

Today, they’re practicing sword versus no-sword combat. Rodimus feels it’s obsolete because sword should win every time. He tells Drift as much; Drift just smirks at him, and proceeds to hand him his aft in three seconds flat.

Now they circle each other, Rodimus with a casualty Ultra Magnus would deem sloppy, but he called disarming, and Drift with well-practiced poise. Optics alert, legs perfectly spaced, servos curled, ready to catch anything Rodimus may throw at him.

Catch… Hm. Now that was an idea.

Rodimus grins and throws the sword to the side, leaving Drift with just barely a second to look confused before Rodimus is launching himself at him. Drift shouts and tries to sidestep out of the way, but Rodimus snags him by the arm at the last second, and they both go tumbling across the floor in a complete mess of limbs and curses. When Rodimus feels them losing momentum, he waits until the last second to heave his whole mass one last time. When they finally come to a stop, Rodimus is atop Drift with one servo splayed on the ground just next to his head, and his forearm pressed down against the softer cables of his throat.

He’s missed this so much.

“I dunno about you,” Rodimus says with a smug cocking of his helm, “but this feels like winning to me.”

Drift rolls his optics. “If you can win a sword fight without using a sword… Sure. But you really shouldn’t do that again. I’m serious, Rodimus,” he said firmly when Rodimus cocked a smug smile at him. “You’re lucky I didn’t have any weapon to try to block you with. I could have really hurt you if I did. If I had a sword, you would able to stop yourself from flying into it. If I had a gun, I could have shot you. Your future opponents won’t be so kind.”

“Worked on you, didn’t it?” Rodimus grinned. “That means it’s guaranteed to work on anyone else.”

“I feel like that may be an abuse of logic.”

“How about this then? I think it means I’m just that good.”

“How would you know?”

“Ouch. Lose a life.”

“You’ve used that line before.”

“Originality is a sham, Drift.”

That gets a quiet chuckle out of Drift, which makes Rodimus huff a laugh that gets a little caught somewhere in his intake and comes out as a bizarre snrk sound.

Drift sputters. “What was that?”

“I don’t know! I didn’t even know I could make that noise!” Rodimus exclaims.

“Can you do it again?”

“I dunno, wait, wait, hold on—Primus it was like, I think… Nope, that’s not it. I got my intake to close up a bit near the back of my glossa? I can’t do it now—”

“Like this—?”

Drift replicates the noise perfectly, but he seems to realize partway through it how absolutely ridiculous it is to be pinned on the ground by his best friend while making stupid noises at him because he bursts out into laughter. That sets them both off, and then they can’t quite seem to stop. It’s like the fact that they can still giggle themselves strutless despite everything this universe has each done to them is in and of itself hilarious.

“This is dumb,” Rodimus wheezes.

“I know, I know,” Drift gasps out, glowing drops of fluid glimmering in the corners of his optics. Rodimus really likes Drift’s laugh. He really likes Drift’s laugh. It’s a rarity, and so soft most of the time, like he isn’t quite sure he’s doing it right, and it brings a probably weird amount of joy to Rodimus to be graced with hearing it.

Their helms are just inches apart when they finally collect themselves, their attempt at calming down broken up by bouts of snickering. A sweet, light joy bubbles through Rodimus that has him grinning uncertainly at Drift as their optics meet. They’ve been close before, but never like this. Never where Rodimus’ exhaust pipes bracket Drift’s helm. Never where Drift’s servo hovers hesitantly over Rodimus’ abdominal plating. Never where they can each feel the press of a question with every unsteady in-and-exvent.

I could kiss him. He could. And it should alarm Rodimus how much he suddenly wants to kiss Drift just a touch more. But what actually alarms him is how little alarm he feels. And then he realizes that he absolutely shouldn’t be considering this at all. He thinks, I should move, and he does not. I need to move, he tries again, and still, he does not. Neither does Drift. The moment to brush aside the awkwardness comes and goes once, and then twice. It shifts into something else entirely when Drift’s optics flash as Rodimus’ gaze slips downward.

“I wan—”

“Can you—”

They stop at the same time, then try speaking at the same time. And they laugh again, more a rush of warm air through their vents that mingles and disperses as a single breath across their faceplates than an actual laugh.

“You first,” Drift says quickly.

Rodimus swipes his glossa along his bottom lip. He’s almost painfully aware of the soft, slight trembling of Drift’s chassis beneath his servos, every slight shift in his frame when he tilts his helm at Rodimus.

“I was gonna say.” He stops. He couldn’t really be thinking of actually saying it, was he? Should he? Every ounce of logic in him says no, absolutely not, what the Pit are you thinking, do you want to ruin everything again? but a keen spark behind Drift’s optics says yes. “I was gonna say,” he tries again with too much honesty rasping his voice, “I think I wanna kiss you.”

Drift’s lips part further, probably definitely to ask just what kind of rust had spread to Rodimus’ processor, or to demand him to get the hell off of him. Either way, it really shouldn’t make Rodimus want to kiss him more.

But then nothing comes out. Drift just stares at Rodimus with this—this completely dumbfounded look, like he needs to replay his audio feeds to confirm, and then re-confirm the nonsense Rodimus had just spewed at him. Why isn’t he saying anything? Drift always knew what to say. Primus, Rodimus must have royally fragged it if he’s struck Drift speechless. He should apologize. Or laugh and go, Kidding! Unless Drift actually said yes, in which case, he totally wasn’t, and scrap, he actually really, really wants to kiss Drift right now.

“What about you?” he blurts, because he is an idiot who just told his best friend he wants to kiss him. With a sharp intake, Rodimus moves to scramble off of Drift, but a strong servo shoots out and holds him firm. Rodimus stares at Drift, spoilers twitching, in-vents coming pressed and quick, optics roving wildly for any sign to tell him that this is another irreparable mistake. A tension in Drift’s neck struts, an uncomfortable flick of his audial fins, a stiffness to his jaw. But there’s nothing, nothing but fondness and reassurance and a smile warm with understanding.

Drift tightens his grip.

“Actually,” he says softly, “I was going to ask if you would kiss me.”

Oh.

“Oh,” Rodimus says dumbly. “I—Hahhh, no! I mean—” he backtracks clumsily when Drift’s eager face falls, and that spark in his optics had been hope, Rodimus simply hadn’t realized it for what it was until it was gone. God, shit, was this actually happening? “I mean, yes! Yes, I—Scrap, I wanna, and I was gonna, kiss you, but uh, I didn’t wanna do it if you didn’t want me to, ’cause that’s a scrap thing to do, but I still kinda really want to? No, slaggit, I do, I do want to—”

Drift’s smile, which had steadily returned and grew as Rodimus rambled, quirks in a fondly annoyed way. Rodimus stammers to a stop when Drift suddenly hauls him in until their faces, their lips, are just a breath apart.

“I want you to, too,” he says simply.

“Frag,” Rodimus whispers. “Seriously?”

“Have you ever known me to joke?”

“Okay, that is the biggest load of scrap I’ve ever heard. Remind me again who it was that—”

“Rodimus,” Drift says, and oh, didn’t that teasing lilt to Rodimus’ name sound like a, please?

“Frag,” Rodimus says again, and they finally crash together. Right away, Drift sighs, his mouth opening just the slightest, but Rodimus doesn’t try to push it. He’s too enthralled by how Drift’s lips are so smooth and cool beneath his. They’re addictively soft, and he can’t help tilting his helm a little bit to sink closer into that comfort. That small action sends a flare of hot yes-good-this-is-right through his whole frame, and he groans as it rushes over him. Drift hums in return and finally cups his servos to Rodimus’ sides, and it feels… The right word can’t quite make it through the giddy buzz scrambling his thoughts. All Rodimus knows is that if the frighteningly powerful bolt of more that shoots through him is when Drift presses closer actually means anything, it must be something synonymous with pretty damn amazing.

They eventually somehow manage to sit up without breaking the kiss. Rodimus is hyper-aware of every instance of where they touch, the scrape of their armor, the heat it brings, the prickle it leaves. Drift does something with this mouth that Rodimus can’t pinpoint, but it fires off a thrill that goes straight to his spark and leaves him hastily shooing away the warnings for his cooling fans to flick on. It’s a kiss he berates himself—admittedly a damn good one, but nothing should be getting him this excited. Maybe it’s just a symptom of kissing Drift specifically.

Rodimus shifts his legs to instead be on either side of Drift’s hips, effectively straddling him. He can arrange their chest plates better this way so he can make their kiss deeper. Really, it’s innocent! Mostly! But the second the thought occurs of what were to happen if he were to move down a few inches, if he were to slide their closed arrays over each other, he realizes how easy it is to turn this into something he’d never forgive himself for if he ruined it.

Reluctantly, Rodimus moves away with a faintly wet noise. He doesn’t go far; his lips still graze Drift’s with every quiet in and exvent. He isn’t sure how to proceed from this sparking stillness that’s settled between them. Given how Drift tilts his forehead forward to lean on Rodimus’ cheek and simply sighs, he doesn’t know, either. Part of Rodimus wants to back away and ask what in the Pit they’re doing. The other half is dangerously attracted to the faint sheen on Drift’s lip and wants to tackle him into the floor again.

He does neither because Drift ends up beating him to the punch anyway.

“Alright?” he murmurs, his optics a hooded, glimmering blue.

Rodimus can’t help it: he laughs again. “Alright?” he rasps incredulously. “I am—so-hoh alright right now. I’ve literally never been more alright in my whole functioning. Uh.” A blush decides right now is the appropriate time to show up. “A-and what about you? You alright?”

Drift grins. He’s got a beautiful smile. It’s so big and bright, and he somehow does it with his whole frame like it can’t be contained just within his face. His audial fins flick up and twitch a little bit, his optics shine, his chest piece swells a little bit. It’s incredible, and Rodimus is a little stunned at how late he is to realize how much he loves it, how much he loves—

“I’ve never been better.”

Rodimus sighs and ducks his head into the junction between Drift’s neck and shoulder. “What about us?” he murmurs. “Are we alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah, we are.”

“...I can’t believe we did that on the training room floor.”

“I know.”

“Wanna do it again?”

“God, yes.”

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 19

it’s 2021 now!! time for more transformers 

we start off w/a flashback showing tyrest retrieving ultra magnus’s body from the ship - and we get a look at magnus’s spark, which is the green color of a 0.1%er [eyes emoji]

tyrest punching magnus..... grrrrr leave my dad alone bastard man

‘the divided self’ what a good title 

rodimus is like listen man this is a lot for my poor thot brain to take in

in flashback land, we see tyrest immediately launch into a crazy person spiel about how he can and will edit the law as he sees fit to conform to the situation, because that doesn't seem like a blatant abuse of power or a huge conflict of interest or anything 

oooh the screen in the corner that says ‘thought warfare,’ I see that

oof, poor magnus. its gotta be rough to hear your boss rant about how bad at your job you are....especially bc this is right after overlord called magnus a joke and nearly killed him

its especially brutal bc as magnus says, his job is his life 

augh, I love the panel where the armor is falling off around minimus, and then the one where he’s holding the ultra magnus head...poetic 

its fascinating that there was an ‘original’ magnus who was an actual guy, and then tyrest chose to make him into this legacy symbol - I'm assuming the OG magnus had no say in this, and probably didn't even know that he was gonna become this lawman legacy figure

I do wanna know though - obviously everyone thought that ultra magnus was one dude, but how did the different guys wearing the armor deal w/that? like, did minimus have people coming up to him like ‘hey ultra magnus old buddy! remember when we fought those guys in that one place? good times!’ like, do they have to study up on the lives of the past armor wearers to prepare for the role of ultra magnus?

augh poor minimus, of course he’s been wondering about what happened with overlord after he was KO’d

oof, drift...I feel like minimus looks surprised and a little skeptical at the idea that drift was the one behind the entire overlord thing - which is interesting bc as we saw at the beginning of the story, he doesn't exactly trust drift, but it’s still pretty far-fetched that one person orchestrated the entire thing

tailgate :(

the concept of a load-bearer is SUPER cool, I love it so much

it also puts a much-needed limit on things - as in, there IS a limit to how much weight/mass a normal cybertronian frame can carry, which is why you don't see everybody upgrading to be Massive - bc they actually CANT

oof, the worst part is that tyrest is RIGHT, minimus essentially DID have a nervous breakdown after the war ended bc of the rigid way he views the world

mental health support is clearly in shambles for cybertronians, yikes. they literally have 1 therapist for their entire race, and he’s not even licensed anymore due to hipaa violations. what a mess

the ‘attention deflectors’ thing is so cool and clever and also a great explanation as to why ratchet or anyone else never said ‘hey wait a minute, you're actually a much smaller dude in a trench coat’ 

I love tailgate knowing all the stuff about the autobot code bc of magnus...my BOY

and THATS why minimus was asking about skids specifically earlier!

oh minimus, please don't put so much stock in tyrest being stable and resonable...

aaaand there's skids and swerve! brainstorm says it best - ‘because something unexpected hasn't happened for at least nine seconds.’ lmao ily brainstorm 

finally checking in w/whirl and cyclonus - god I love that. whirl asking cyclonus how many cons he killed and cyc is like psh I wasn't keeping count....................ok it was six

hhhhh cyclonus IS looking for a cure for tailgate, even though he told tg that there wasn’t anything to hope for....excuse me as I go be emo 

and now we flash over to the unethical medical conduct hell zone, where pharma is being weird and horny and ratchet is appropriately horrified 

I seriously love how unhinged pharma looks, the art & colors do such a good job conveying his feral energy 

ratchet has some massive dick energy for taunting pharma when he’s currently just a head and pharma has dual chainsaws for hands 

ugh, I love whirls speech about anger...and I feel like he really does see cyclonus as a peer, despite cyclonus wanting to kill him, which is why he tells cyclonus all of this 

I fuckgin love that cyclonus’s reaction to very suddenly getting stabbed thru the abdomen is to just glance down at the sword, looking mildly inconvenienced 

back over to ratchet - and at first its like oh wow I can’t believe pharma was stupid enough to let ratchet goad him into this contest....but then you see first aid and ambulon and its like UH OH this is gonna be BAD

the idea that getting sliced in half is no big deal for a cybertronian is wild

‘you're gonna let doctor djd cut us in half?’ yeahhhh that's an appropriate reaction, yikes

FUCKING LENGTHWAYS GOD

pharma you piece of shit

poor ambulon :( :( :( that's fucking brutal. amazing panel but....jesus

and like, to further my point from last issue’s liveblog - the fact that this very gore-y panel is okay, but swearing isn't...that's really funny honestly. I guess robo-gore is acceptable, while I'm guessing regular ole run of the mill human gore wouldn't be

then back to cyclonus, who is still looking only vaguely put out by the sword stuck right thru him

and then cyclonus just pulls it right out, which is a very bad idea for humans but probably not as big of a deal for big near-immortal alien robots

circle of light stuck in capitalistic urban hellscape cubicals 

poor skids, being asked to stand trial while having no idea what his crime is due to Big Amnesia 

OH SHITTTT I totally forgot that getaway shows up here

that is super clever though, with chromedome confusing the name ‘getaway’ with the concept ‘needing to escape’

cant believe tyrest is really dumb enough to tell minimus all his evil plans

BUT that means its time for some very important forged vs constructed cold lore

jro spelling ‘program’ as ‘programme’ made me remember when he said that he considers everyone on the lost light to be british, which is perhaps the least valid thing he’s ever said vhbghjsdbfjkhasbjk

the idea that they used the matrix - which is portrayed as kind of a holy object - in reproductive experiments is really interesting

AUGHHHHH this is all so good and interesting...im really fascinated w/this particular brand of like, alien robot racism/constructism/whatever you wanna call it - I feel like it does such a good job as a plot device, where many other ‘fantasy racism’ concepts from other franchises fail, bc there's not really a ‘human metaphor’ being used here (as far as I know/can tell) - as in, this isn't a thinly veiled metaphor for something that happened/could happen in human history

in fact, this type of bigotry (or w/e you wanna call it) isn't something that is even really possible in humans - I guess if there was a stigma against being born via ivf or something...? but there isn't, so there's no obvious real-world equivalent, which I take as a sign of good writing and worldbuilding - it makes the cybertronians feel more Real, bc of course they would have their own types of bigotry based off of completely different things than humans 

additionally - and this is crucial - tyrest is wrong: there’s no like, inherent moral corruption in cold constructed bots. there's no difference at all, other than method of construction. fantasy racism plotlines often flounder here, with the oppressors having a ‘valid reason’ for oppressing the oppressed, but tyrest is just operated on religious zealot bs and some biased science

like, dude, did you ever think that maybe there are other reasons why your trials only condemned cold constructed bots? like, maybe the trial itself was biased? or societal conditions were to blame? correlation is not causation, my dude, especially when the conclusion is ‘cold constructed bots are inherently SINNERS’ lmao 

like, tyrest rlly said ‘FUCK separation of church and state,’ huh

anyways I just think the whole cold construction vs forged thing is really interesting and well-done, and serves as a good precursor to the more fleshed-out functionism stuff we see later 

so tyrest is clearly off his rockers w/the whole drilling thing - dude, you accidentally gave yourself a lobotomy, okay - but I find it kinda funny that he’s right about a lot of that stuff he said at the end, about primus and the guiding hand and stuff being real 

cyclonus saying ‘tailgate and the others’...I see you, man, I see you

also cyclonus looks fine now??? didn't he just get stabbed??? 

ah, tyrest sprinkling a little light genocide onto his plan to find salvation. nice, dude!

MINIMUS NOOOOOOOOO

‘fully deserved’ SHUT UP BIIIIITCH

poor minimus is taking a lot of Ls this arc, geez

oof, great issue! again, as usual....I loved the lore we got this issue, its so interesting...and some good character stuff too. I love minimus, I feel like he’s gonna be my fav this readthru; my first read my fav was brainstorm, second readthru was whirl, and I feel like its minimus/magnus this time. I just love his character arc...

hype af for more B) 

[shikai-the-storyteller]

CYBERVERSE WATCH! (S3 Episode 8)

Episode 8

Man I can’t believe I forgot to watch this but I had to pass out last night so HERE WE GO

WHAT WHAT WHAT??!?!?! MACCADAM FIGHTING?!?!?!?! WAS HE ONE OF THE ORIGINAL PRIMES AFTER ALL

WAIT THEY’RE ALL MACCADAM

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE IS THIS WHY HE DOESNT LIKE FIGHTING

TITAN TIME

IACONUS!??!?!?!

IS THIS GONNA BE MACCADAM’S BACKSTORY??? GIMME THAT LORE

Wow Riddy’s voice is different, Roddy just because you’re goth that doesn’t mean you gotta change your voice

wHIRL I FORGOT YOU WERE HERE!!! SWEET BOY

“It’s locked” “Not for me” NICE ONE man I still don’t frickin know your name IM SO SORRY MA’AM.....I think it’s Pummel or Bludgeon

Gosh they’re such idiots I love them

WHIRL OMG....HE”S SO CUTE....He transformed in the elevator GOSH that’s so cute

“No thanks” LMAO MY SAME REACTION DEADEND

Roddy in their defense you can’t just say “Don’t touch that” YOU KNOW HOW THESE PEOPLE GET

UH OH

“It’s just a drone” HAVE A LITTLE MORE COMPASSION, THAT”S A TRANSFORMER LIKE 100 TIMES REMOVED bot solidarity you guys

hooo boy this training sim isn’t going to end well

“Maybe we DO have time for this” RODIMUS PLEASE THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME FOR VIDEO GAMES

“Optimus I’m sorry it took us 1000 years to save you but in our defense, we were playing a really fun game”

“Gotta...git...gud...”

Percy’s gonna be like “you die in the game you die in real life”

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM PERCY

FRICKIN HELL PERCY U GOOD???? Glad to see his survival stat is still going strong but FRICK DUDE

He’s charming in a pathetic sassy way

STAR SAVIOR

MOON PUNCHER!!!!!!!!!!! IT”S RUNG

WHIRL’S SURPRISED FACE IS SO CUTE

OH NO CLOBBER

GET IM WHIRL!!!!! SAVE YOUR FELLOW CYCLOPS

LMAO PERCY PLEASE

Gosh Cyberverse Percy is the best I LOVE HIM..........

“All of whom perished to stop this Titan” :( Oh no is this going to be a metaphor for the Cybertronian war....

OHHH THIS SEQUENCE IS SO PRETTY? (but sad)

“But a war Titan with no war to fight is dangerous” MMMMPHHH THAT HURTS

OH BOY....is the finale going to be the Autobots and Decepticons teaming up against a TITAN, not the Quintessons???

That’d be a great time for Starscream to show up with his Titan though

RODIMUS PLEASE DONT WAKE UP THE TITAN 

AW MAN WHEN ARE THE NEXT EPISODES COMING OUT AHHHHH

[mesothulass]

96 + 22

96 - Scars & 22 - Space AU I’m! Defaulting to Cywhirlgate! Since you didn’t specify the ship! (it was originally gonna be cygate but yikes)

Cyclonus the swash buckling space pirate! (this got long)

Ok no, he’s got an inflated sense of honor. But let’s twist that on its head - what if Cyclonus was pushed to piracy due to Scourge and Galvatron getting held hostage. I’d like to imagine Cyclonus was the most reasonable of the three of them, and that’s why it was him who was bargained with. So he’s still got his sense of honor, a set of rules he’s not allowed to break, and he’s a pirate.

What are these rules? First and foremost, he will not kill unnecessarily. He has to do one good thing, no matter how big or small, for each bad thing he does. No getting overcharged, no taking part in what he plunders, no rescue attempts rescue Scourge and Galvatron until he has everything he needs.

The Intergalactic Council has been after him for millions of years - as has Cybertron’s equivalent of Interpol. There haven’t been enough actual sightings of him to figure out where it is he refuels or who he works for (if he works for anyone). So Cyclonus just floats around and does what he has to to keep Galvatron and Scourge alive.

Enter a blue and white mech, a minibot  that makes Cyclonus want to - well, he doesn’t really know. Stop his unending mission to keep his oldest friend and lord alive? Abandon his rules? Not particularly. But he keeps showing up, first at that one robbery of Cybertron’s national bank, then as a cleaning bot when he stole an outrageously expensive painting, then as one of the mechs who see Cyclonus clean the slums of Kaon, then as one of the travelers on the spaceship he held hostage to barter a good sum of money from a politician nobody liked.

Whom the fuck? This is a minibot who definitely should not be showing up as many places as he is. Admittedly, Cyclonus has been seeing him on and off for a good couple million years, but he’s an old design. Has he been in Cyclonus’ vicinity this whole time?

Then comes their meeting - official meeting, with an introduction. Hot shot cop Rodimus Prime has finally caught the famous outlaw. He sets Cyclonus in a cell and stands off to the side to make a couple calls. Cyclonus is originally indifferent but the white and blue minibot is in the cell with him. Cyclonus is dying, just a bit. But the minibot lights up when he sees Cyclonus and bounces as close to him as his shackles allow.

“I’m Tailgate! Last time I saw you, you were helping rebuild Velocitron’s titan!” Is what he says and, despite hot shot cop Rodimus Prime’s continued pretense, what can Cyclonus do but introduce himself in kind? So they talk, and by that I mean Tailgate talks and Cyclonus listens with a mixture of confusion and utter horror at some of the stuff Tailgate says. The reason Tailgate is around so much? He has bad luck and bad taste in mechs. The people he hangs out with are the very same people Galvatron and Scourge’s captors want dead. 

Tailgate, after centuries of being abused by the Senate (“The would perform empurata on people who went against them so I never dared try - I don’t want to thank Primus for a revolution that killed millions, but… anyway, we’re free now.”), was a philanthropist of sorts. He might not have much money, but he was always down to travel somewhere for an outreach or goodwill mission, or maybe just to help other civilizations rebuild after natural disasters or to teach people to read and write. This has lead to many uncomfortable situations for him.

That aft backwards politician Cyclonus was sent to murder? Tailgate was one of his guards. The bounty hunter Cyclonus had to go ten rounds with in order to obtain some round trinket? Tailgate had saved his life and was cashing in a favor at the time. The reason he was in the cell? His friend, Nutjob (”That’s not his name, but he calls me shorty.”), had gotten into trouble with the law (”He’s always in trouble! Poor thing doesn’t know how to be a descent person like the rest of us. He’s really cute though.”) and Tailgate was just a case of wrong place wrong time.

It was intriguing.

Scourge’s and Galvatron’s captors had never said anything about companions, so Cyclonus breaks Tailgate and Nutjob (“I’m Whirl and if you think I can’t beat the crap out of you because you’ve got a big fancy sword, you’re mistaken.”) out of jail and takes them with him. Hot shot cop Rodimus Prime watches them go - he doesn’t try to stop them. Cyclonus is careful never to mention Tailgate and Whirl, paranoid for forever and a day. They grow closer during all the lawbreaking Cyclonus has to do and - and it’s nice.

Yes, they break his rules (“Haven’t you listened to a thing Shorty has said?! I’m made for violence! How can I not kill everyone here??”). Yes, they eat him out of spaceship and storage (“I’m sorry, Cyclonus, but no sane minibot can eat this little fuel and not go into permanent stasis-lock? How are you not dead? Do you have special internals? Are you undead?”). But it was nice to have them with him after his millions of years of loneliness.

And, in time, they become a sort of home. Somewhere safe to end the day. A pair of bots who want his time just to have it, to talk and relax, not to go out and pillage and destroy. They helped him win out against his fury and in turn he put his attention to helping them with what they needed. They made him a person again and he, because what else was he good at, made himself a wall against their fears and insecurities and self deprecation. They share their scars and help each other learn to move on, to learn from them, to become better people despite the trauma they’ve all been through.

And, when the time came to rescue Scourge and Galvatron, they were a big help. Whirl was just the kind of distraction Cyclonus and Tailgate needed to break in (“Come on you little freaks, it’s time to fucking party!”). While he exploded the front of the building, Tailgate hacked into the system (“I just have to plug in right into this terminal and… ooh! It’s so nice and organized! I used to have a friend who’d feel just like this during interface.”). He’d learned a lot through his many, many run-ins with Cyclonus and his travels and had picked up a few tricks. What he didn’t know, he generally knew how to bullshit.

Once they’d located Galvatron and Scourage, Cyclonus went on alone. Whirl pulled back, attacked a different part of the building, Tailgate was busy sending self destruct codes to every and any computer linked up to the system, and Cyclonus tore down whatever got in his way. And even now, Cyclonus doesn’t give up on his rules.

In the end, Galvatron hadn’t survived. He was hotheaded, uncontrollable, uncontainable (“You’re not so much a bodyguard as the mech who has to keep me in line. I’m going to try to murder the world. You’re going to have to stop me.”) . He’d tried to escape and they’d put him down as a result. Cyclonus could recognize, through the shock and the pain, that Galvatron had died like a warrior - fighting for freedom. But Scourge… Scourge had… his best friend…

(“I bid you stand in the glow of my spark so that you may feel the heat of my words and know them to be true. I invite you to receive my light and in so doing become my amica endura - from now until forever. Cyclonus, for your loyalty, your laughter, and your soul. As you are to me, may I be to you - today, tomorrow, and always.”

“Today, tomorrow, and always.”)

It was here that Cyclonus lost the carefully crafted control he’d worked so hard on. It was here that his rules lost meaning. It was here that he tore apart the entire building, it was here that he murdered every single person inside it, it was here that he fought and fought and fought until there was no one left to fight, until it was just Whirl carrying him to the ship (“You’re heavy, Little One. See, I can call you that too! Now, wake up and tell me off!”), just Tailgate standing watch (“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”), just Cyclonus’ memories looping through his mind (“Promise me no harm comes to them. Promise me they will be safe and well-fed. Promise me that, and I will do whatever you ask.”).

Hot shot cop Rodimus makes a reappearance, aboard the bulkiest ship Cyclonus has ever seen (“The Lost Light is a little beaten up, but she’s got quantum engines and the best damn crew an ex cop can ask for.”). He was making a safe haven, he said, for the wronged people society would never protect. For the lost. For the ones with nothing left. 

Tailgate is the one who said they would join (“You won’t regret taking us on, I promise.”) and Whirl is the one to ward off those who tried to pry (“I’ve got titty guns! Do you really think going up against me is a good idea? I’m unvincible!”). Cyclonus is the one who relearned his rules, born from love and acceptance instead of hate and fear.

(“You were by my side when I needed you. You have been beside me since we first met. You brought me back when I thought… when I thought the Afterspark would be better than suffering life. I owe you my life. But when I look at you, at either of you, my thoughts don’t go to that. They go to waking up together. To scaring some poor fool. To the two of you getting overcharged and getting called to pick you up. To seeing you happy and carefree. You’ve seen my scars and yet you still accept me for what I am; more than that, you care about and protect me despite them. What I’m trying to say - what I’m - I wanted to ask.

“Will you, both of you, be my conjunx endurae?”)

[starvonnie]

Rest

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: M/M Fandom: The Transformers (IDW Generation One) Relationship: Megatron/Rodimus Characters: Megatron (Transformers), Rodimus, Original Cybertronian Character(s) Additional Tags: Transformer Sparklings, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Ending

Also on AO3

"It's a lot like Earth, huh?"

Megatron registered that Rodimus had said something, but his processor didn't bother to decipher his words. He was far too invested in the sparkling nestled in his lap and the task at hand.  Gently stroking Flare's crest, his optics slowly shuttered and his winglets came to rest on his back.  It was too early to tell if they would become actual wings or doorwings.  Or maybe a spoiler like his carrier.  They were already quite expressive.

A hand brushed Megatron's exposed crest and it made him jump, roughly jostling Flare's, who squeaked.

"Sorry, sweetspark," Megatron murmured, petting where he had hurt.  Smoothing over his own crest, he turned with a frown to look up at Rodimus.  

"Sorry.  I was trying to be gentle."  Rodimus laced his fingers together.  "You're a lot better at that than I am."

Flare had been disturbed from his almost-recharge state, but a few more careful combs through his crest had him close again.  Optics half-shuttered, ventilations slowing, basking in the sun.  His little hands shifted closer to his face and he nuzzled into them, giving a little sigh.

"I still can't believe we made that," Rodimus murmured with wonder, sitting down beside his conjunx and lightly leaning on him.  Putting a hand over his chest, he added, "Especially from my spark."

Megatron turned and pressed a light kiss to the side of Rodimus’ helm.  “Your spark is what made him so beautiful.”

Rodimus smiled and leaned his helm on Megatron’s shoulder.  “It was a joint effort.”

Megatron said nothing to that but leaned a little closer to Rodimus while he kept petting Flare’s crest. His little optics had closed again and his winglets settled again.  Right in his favourite sleeping place.  His easiest, they’d found.  A tiny spike of jealousy at not being his favourite was quickly dismissed.  Flare still spent a good deal of nights slumbering right on Rodimus’ chest, close to the spark that had given him life.

“Maybe in a few months we can take him exploring,” Rodimus said.  “When he can walk on his own.  Maybe even transform.”  He beamed. “I can’t wait for his first transformation.”

"We shouldn't stay for too long," Megatron fret, giving a glance back at the ship.  

"This planet's uninhabited," Rodimus said.  Then, when something flew by, he added, "At least by intelligent life forms. So it's not like anyone's here to report us."

Megatron gave a low growl.

"Just a few days," Rodimus compromised.  "All Flare's known is the inside of that ship."

"I know." Megatron's words were little more than a rumbling in his chest.

"Hey." Rodimus hugged Megatron's arm, running his fingers along his forearm.  "I know you're worried, but it's been quiet for so long now. Maybe they've stopped looking for us. It's not like we've caused any trouble."

"Not lately," Megatron agreed begrudgingly.  "But that doesn't erase what I've done."

Rodimus sighed and let his hand slide down Megatron's arm until he could interlace their fingers. Waiting until Megatron curled his hand around Rodimus', he said, "We've got to be there for Flare, now."  He smiled when their sparkling shifted in recharge, letting his smile slip into his tone. "We can't worry about the past now. We have to give him a good future. He can't have that as long as we keep him cooped up in that ship."

"I know that, Rodimus."  Megatron turned away from him, away from Flare, his crest rising and falling in waves. "They wanted a trial.  A verdict.  I can't give them that now.  I can't leave Flare."  He resisted the urge to disturb his sleep.  It was hard to not stroke his crest, especially since he knew how nice and relaxing it felt.  If it was done right, anyways.  Turning to his conjunx, he brought the hand he was holding to his mouth, kissing it gently. He met his optics as he said, "I can't leave you."

"You don't have to, now."  Rodimus smiled warmly.  "We can go wherever we want.  We can make a new home."

"You two are my home."

Optics softening, Rodimus murmured, "Then I guess it doesn't matter where we are.  Here is as good a place as any.  Plus, there's tons of energon here.  All we have to do is refine it."

"They'll find us if we stay for too long," Megatron said.  

"Then we won't stay for too long," Rodimus said with a shrug.  "But it can't hurt to have somewhere to come back to when we need a break.  We could build a semi-forever home, yeah?  Maybe underground.  We'll shield it."

Megatron didn't answer him. As long as they were both with him, they weren't safe.  It killed him to know that Flare's best protection was to have him as far away as possible.  If they could somehow take him back to Cybertron, or the Lost Light, he could have a normal life.  So long as he never revealed who his parents were.  If he had left before Flare knew him.  His absence would only damage him now.

Picking up Flare, Megatron cradled him in his arms.  He was so small.  So vulnerable.  And for something with his CNA, pretty damn cute.  He only briefly awoke when Megatron stood, but his optics closed as quickly they had opened.  He cradled up to Megatron's chest, his ventilations tickling his Autobot symbol.

"No good-byes, no regrets," Rodimus murmured as he stood, too, reaching up to stroke Megatron's face.  "I know that look.  I know what you're thinking."

"I'm sorry, Rodimus, I just..."  He held Flare more protectively.

"Nope.  You don't get to do this.  I don't care what you think would be better for me, because I know that my life has only gotten better with you in it."  Rodimus reached over Megatron's arm slowly, knowing when he held Flare like that, he saw just about anyone as a threat.  Sometimes it would take him a moment to remember that his own carrier wouldn't hurt him.  He got a small growl, nearly inaudible, but he was able to find Flare's cheek to give it a light caress.  "You've given me a sparkling.  I always kind of wanted one, but...  I dunno... I didn't think I'd make a very good parent."

“You have given me so much, Rodimus,” Megatron murmured.  “More than I could ask for.  More than I should ask for.”

Rodimus stretched up onto the fore of his pedes and kissed Megatron’s sagging cheek, realizing just how old the weight of his feelings made him look.  How the years made his spark, his frame, weak.  How he, too, would never be the same mech he was before the war.  Before Nyon fell.  Before his spark had tasted the infinity that was the Matrix.

“Megatron, I love you. I don’t love you because you manipulated me into it.  Hell, you pushed me away so much I figured you really didn’t want me.  You didn’t ask for this, I gave it to you.  Don’t beat yourself up because you accepted it.  And besides, you knocked me up, so you’re stuck with me now.”  Rodimus ended his mini speech on a little laugh, trying to play up the humour of the situation.

Megatron still frowned, but a little less than usual.

“So, whatcha think they’re gonna turn into?” Rodimus changed the subject.  “My bet’s on a car.”

A shrug was Megatron’s only reply.

“C’mon, Megs, it doesn’t hurt to guess.  And it doesn’t hurt to take a break.  Please? The ship’ll notify us if anything gets close.”  He rested a hand on Megatron’s arm just shy of Flare’s slumbering form.  “What good will you be to him if you aren’t rested if something does happen?”

Playing to Megatron’s sensibilities usually worked.  Usually. When Megatron still refused to speak to him, he returned to the comforts of humour.

"Maybe he'll be a gun," Rodimus teased.  He chuckled as he said, “We’ll wake up to a hole in our ship and Flare will just be sitting there on the floor.”

The sigh Megatron gave was so loud and long that Rodimus wouldn't have been surprised if they had heard it all the way from Cybertron.  Wouldn't that be something?  Their journey ended with Megatron's inability to sigh like a normal mech.  The humour was somewhat lost when Rodimus saw his optics, though.  Saw how he hugged Flare closer.  If he weren't so enamoured with their creation, he might have fears that his sire intended to crush him in his arms.

"The war would follow me here," Megatron whispered so quietly that Rodimus almost didn't catch it.

"Hey..." Rodimus stroked his conjunx's cheek, but it did nothing to relieve him of his anguish.  "I was only kidding.  I'm sorry."

"No." Megatron shook his helm, a much more reasonable sigh following.  "No, it's not you.  I have much to regret, Rodimus.  A life's worth.  And I said I wouldn't feel it, but I do.  I regret that you and my son have to live with my mistakes.  Flare may very well have a normal life once he is ready to be on his own, but it will be one where he cannot acknowledge his parents, much less be proud of them.  And I wonder...  I wonder what will lessen the hurt.  Should I tell him all that I've done?  Or should I allow the universe to do it?  One way or another, he will know.  He will know what I've done.  He will understand why he was born on a ship rather than Cybertron.  Why we were never in one place for very long.  Why sometimes, when we made planet fall, I could not follow.  Why we were always on the—"

"Woah, woah, woah..."  Each "woah" was softer and slower than the last.  Rodimus stroked the arms that held Flare all the while, though his face showed no comfort.  "How long has this been on your mind?"

"It never leaves, Rodimus."

"Well.  I guess I have to tell these thoughts that they've overstayed their welcome, hm?"  He gave him a little smile.  "I think we need to amend this whole regretting thing.  Maybe forbidding it was a bit extreme.  But letting it consume you is just as extreme, don't you think?"

"But—"

"No 'buts.' What's done is done and cannot be undone.  The war happened.  We happened. Flare happened.  No amount of wishing or regretting is going to make any of that change.  Do we tell Flare?  That’s up to you.  But you're right.  One way or another, he's going to find out.  And yes, there's a chance he may never speak to you again. But..."  He encouraged Megatron to unfurl, but it was only by his conscious choice that that happened.  Slowly, but surely, he relaxed, then turned more towards his conjunx. It was a rare moment that he allowed himself to take comfort in Rodimus.  "But there's a chance that he won't.  And, like the past, there is no way to change his reaction.

"You know, I seem to remember some grumpy old mech telling me that worrying about whether or not I'll make a good parent wouldn't make me a better parent.  That all I could do was my best with what life has given me.  And what life has given me is a loving conjunx and a beautiful sparkling.  And Megatron, if I was given the chance to do it all over again, I would choose you.  I would choose this.  Just maybe next time you don't shoot me through the spark?"  Rodimus placed on Megatron’s chest with a smile, emitting nothing but love through his field to let him know that he held no resentment. Still, though, was the light of regret, or rather, lack thereof, in his red optics.  "Joking helps me," he murmured.  "But I can stop if it doesn't help you."

"It's not the jokes, Rodimus.  It's knowing that you're right.  That there's nothing I can do to change this.  That I've doomed Flare to a life in my shadow, no matter where he goes."

"Okay, Megs, you really gotta lighten up.  You know how sensitive Flare is to our fields right now, and yours is just a mess of bad feelings."  When Megatron snapped his back to his frame, Rodimus said, "That doesn't mean hide your feelings you dummy.  That means you need to forgive yourself.  Yeah, yeah, I know what you're going to say, and I know.  I doubt I could forgive myself for starting a war, and maybe that's too tall an order for anyone.  But forgive yourself for feeling this regret and let yourself try to move on.  Because as long as you're stuck here, you are 'dooming' Flare.  Though not in the way you think.  He's going to see the constant worry and fear in you.  No matter how great you are at keeping your feelings hidden, they'll bubble to the surface eventually.  Do you really want to spend all this time worrying and regretting when you could be enjoying watching our son grow?"

Like they had planned this, Flare awoke and cooed, and so did Megatron's field.  A rush of warmth overcame the three of them as he finally allowed himself to smile and bring Flare close to his face, placing a kiss on his tummy that had him giggling.

"See?  You could be doing this instead.  Enjoying what life has given you."

"But I don't deserve all of this, Rodimus."  While he smiled, his optics turned dull as watched Flare.

Rodimus was tempted to snatch Flare away and get him out of Megatron's mess of a field.  Especially when he started to fuss.  The energy must be pricking at his little winglets in the same way Rodimus' spoiler was because they were flapping similarly, trying to dislodge what wasn't actually there.

"Yeah, maybe you don't. But so what?  You have it.  Now maybe you can stop upsetting our son?"

A tiny face, scrunched up from discomfort, turned to his sire for answers and grabbed at his face.  It almost seemed like he was trying to smooth out the lines on Megatron's face, and eventually they did relax, though it was by his own doing.

"I'm sorry." Megatron kissed Flare again, shutting his optics tight and ventilating deeply as he calmed his field.  Doubt and worry still niggled in the far reaches of it, but Flare was back to smiling and trying to poke his sire’s optics out.

Flare laughed.  The sweetest sound in the universe.  He laughed and papped Megatron’s cheeks, blissfully unaware of everything beyond this small interaction.

“My little solar flare,” Megatron murmured affectionately.

A little slice of the sun went from smiling to yawning once more.  He blinked rapidly, those big, Matrix blue optics of his dimming just a little.  He instinctively got closer to Megatron, but in this half-standing position, he couldn’t get comfortable.

“How about you lie down?” Rodimus suggested.  “I think you both could use a nap.”

“I can’t.”

“Then just lie down,” Rodimus said.  “Please? For me?”

Megatron resisted for a few moments, then relented with a sigh.  He passed Flare to Rodimus, who fussed for a moment and then calmed as Rodimus ran a gentle finger along his winglets.  Still, he turned to watch Megatron get settled on the ground.  Once he was on his back, he returned Flare to him, and their bitlet quickly settled on his chest, curling up not unlike Ravage would.  Rodimus joined his family, lifting Megatron’s helm onto his lap.

“Comfy?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Just try to relax, yeah? All I’m asking is you try.”

Megatron half-shuttered his optics.  “Alright.”

Flare already fast asleep, Rodimus watched his conjunx.  Mainly, how his crest rose and fell as though breathing.  Occasionally it would prick up and Megatron’s optics would flash open with a burst of red light.  He would settle again, but his optics never fully closed.

"Can you teach me?" Rodimus asked, hand hesitating over his crest.  "If it relaxes you half as much as it relaxes Flare, then I wanna learn.  I don't think you've let down your guard for over a month now."

"I can't afford to," Megatron said.

"You're not alone here, you know," Rodimus said, anger creeping into his voice.  "I can protect myself.  I can protect my son."  He forced his voice to soften.  "You don't always have to be the one doing all of the protecting."

Megatron turned his helm so he wouldn’t have to face Rodimus.  "If anything happened to you..."  He hugged Flare closer.  "Or to Flare, I could never forgive myself."

"Don't you trust me?"

Red optics looked up.

"Don't you trust me?" Rodimus repeated.

"Of course I trust you, but—"

"But nothing.  I'm keeping watch, and you're going to have a nap. Right after you teach me how to handle your crest."  With as light a touch as possible, Rodimus put a finger on the base of one of the quills. He pulled away immediately when he felt Megatron flinch.  "Sorry. I guess I'm not good at being gentle."

"No, it's my fault."  Megatron took a hold of his conjunx's hand and kissed it.  "Since I never take my helmet off, it's more sensitive than it should be.  I doubt that even I can make touching it feel pleasant."  He tried to do it, and it wasn't as shocking as when Rodimus did it, but it wasn't exactly enjoyable, either.  

"Why did you keep it covered, then?" Rodimus asked, stroking his face in lieu of his crest.

"It makes me vulnurable."

Rodimus nodded with understanding, continuing to stroke his cheek as Megatron’s optics slowly shut. “You can be a little vulnerable. I’ve got you.”

Without opening his optics, Megatron shifted Rodimus’ hand from his face to his crest.  He winced a little, but after a few gentle strokes his face relaxed and sire and sparkling didn’t look so different.  

He didn’t sleep. Rodimus could tell.  His shoulders still felt stiff and his hands still protectively cradled Flare, but it was a start.  He kept his optics closed, at least.  A little bit of vulnerability.  A little more trust in his conjunx.  

A little slice of a normal life.

[transformers-art-showcase]

P.A.T.C.H. #06: "Life After the Big Bang"

There’s a common rule of thumb when it comes to comics: you can jump in when you see a new #1 on the cover. If not, be wary –you’re not gonna get it, you’ve skipped episodes, you’re missing out. Well, you know what? Nuts to that! We here at P.A.T.C.H. like to stick it to common sense and provide a halfway decent explanation for it! So here we are, presenting a story from possibly the most popular “Transformers” comics title ever that is not a number 1 and provides a satisfying, complete story with connections to more! Enjoy! ... No, seriously, did it take us that long to talk MTMTE?!

“LIFE AFTER THE BIG BANG”

“The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye” #4-5 (2012)/ “Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye” Volume 2

Written by James Roberts, pencils by Alex Milne, colors by Josh Burcham, letters by Shawn Lee The amazing sogn for this wondrous edition of P.A.T.C.H.: https://youtu.be/tvqlt7OWTOk https://open.spotify.com/track/4p82pfEa4cayPqXLN6Rhzm

SO WHAT’S IT ABOUT? After receiving a cryptic, worrisome message, Autobot medic Ratchet, turncoat Autobot Drift and bad luck magnet Pipes land on the medical outpost of Delphi on the planet Messatine to investigate. Faced with a motley crew of doctors and patients and a deadly epidemic, our heroes have to rush both against unexpected enemies and their own worsening health... Oh, and Tailgate and Red Alert aren’t doing so hot on the ship, either. WHAT DO I NEED TO KNOW? The opening blurbs mostly fill you in on everything: the recent end of the Autobot-Decepticon War, the proposal to search for the fabled Knights of Cybertron (“Death of Optimus Prime” one-shot), the open invitation by captain Rodimus into the starship “Lost Light” and its disastrous launch (“More Than Meets the Eye” #1). Other than that, the rest are character threads picked up from previous issues of the series and can be ignored for now, to focus on the stand-alone nature of the thing. Still, let’s go over some major ones. In terms of pre-existing character development, the most pressing issue would be Drift’s dramatic arc(s). Although he first appeared in “All Hail Megatron” #5, he already had a pretty long history behind him, mostly outlined in the first “Drift” mini-series. In those four issues (written by Shane McCarthy, penciled by Alex Milne, colored by Josh Perez and lettered by Chris Mowry), it was revealed that Drift started out as destitute and homeless before the War, and so the Decepticon vision of equality appealed to him greatly. (Not to mention giving him an outlet for his pent-up rage.) He was renamed “Deadlock” and garnered a reputation of cruelty and efficiency. That is, until a disobedience episode, an escape attempt and a brief stint with the Circle of Light, a group of pacifist warrior-scholars, changed that. Following that, he bumped into the Wreckers (“Spotlight: Drift”, written by Shane McCarthy, penciled by Casey Coller, colored by Joana Lafuente and lettered by Chris Mowry) and started associating with the Autobots, with whom he stayed for the next few years, up to the second confrontation with the Dead Universe forces (“Chaos”, written by Mike Costa and James Roberts, with art by Livio Ramondelli and letters by Chris Mowry, which we’ve briefly talked about here). One near-death experience later, he emerged as a cheerful spiritualist, much to one famous medic’s annoyance. Just this once, Ratchet’s wrong –this latest rendition of the character is one of his most popular ones, and even if you’re not interested in his pre-history, you can go by what is said about him easily. Though Tailgate is (rather famously) one of the breakout stars of the series, it’s not he who has the more extensive history, but his roomie Cyclonus. An ancient warrior and comrade of deranged megalomaniac Nem-, excuse me, completely stable individual Nova Prime’s, he was an undead creature under the sway of the Dead Universe for a long time (“Revelation”, written by Simon Furman and drawn by various artists). He later joined fellow Golden Age survivor Galvatron and his reformed army against Cybertron (“Chaos” and “Heart of Darkness”... I think so, at least). Following the betrayal of his commander for the love of his home planet, he joined the “Lost Light” after a misunderstanding (and beating up Whirl, but that’s perfectly normal). He’s been warned at least one on his violent tendencies by Rodimus and has expressed his doubts over the entire War; can he really make a fresh start with these people? Finally, and although that could be considered a bit of a spoiler, certain details –locations, characters, even phrases– first appeared or were mentioned in “Last Stand of the Wreckers”, and specifically its trade paperback editions. Click here to get there immediately and (hopefully) get a few good reasons to check out the book yourselves! WHERE DO I GO FROM THERE? To all of “More Than Meets the Eye”, obviously! These two issues, apart from being stand-alone, plant the seeds for so much more down the road, it’s dizzying! Keep up with the series, where all the characters mentioned here receive further development, and when you’re done, be sure to jump in on “Lost Light”, its continuation. If, however, you want to go to specific arcs from the first season of the series based on individual elements (most by the same team as this issue), I’d suggest “Shadowplay” (issues #7-9 or Volume 3) for Ratchet’s past with Drift (and Red Alert’s troubles), “Remain in Light” (#17-21 or Volume 5) for the comeback of Ratchet’s antagonist, “Before and After” and “Cybertronian Homesick Blues” (#12 and #13, both in Volume 4) for Cyclonus and Tailgate’s continuing development and “Under Cold Blue Stars” (issue #15 or Volume 4) for Pipes’ shining moment. Reader discretion is advised: at least one of these stories is known to cause intense pain in the feels. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Finally, make sure to pick up the dual 2012 Annuals for “More Than Meets The Eye” and “Robots in Disguise” (both contained in Volume 3 of their respective trade collections). Both are split in two. One half of their stories are the adventures of the present cast interacting with a Titan, a huge Transformer from the distant past. The other half, drawn by artist Guido Guidi (who also colors his work) in the style of the old Marvel “Transformers” series (as well as various “cosmic”, high sci-fi titles of the publisher), provides added world-building and backstory for the entire universe. While seemingly unrelated, the origin stories explain a few holes in the pasts of key characters (Cyclonus was young once?! And he knew Dai Atlas, too?!) and become vital later on, especially in the finale of “Lost Light”. IS IT ANY GOOD? It was a satisfying mystery that showcased how unique this world and its characters are. It featured the evolution of a true master artist. It introduced about a trillion things in 44 pages. It provided us with proof that Ratchet is, and shall forever be, one of the greatest things we have ever produced in this miserable world. WAIT, WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT DRIFT?! Oh yeah, he’s there, too! Did I forget that? Never mind, song, playlist, go!

AND YOU THINK YOU'VE FIGURED OUT EVERYTHING | PLOT AND DIALOGUE While the format of this story isn’t unfamiliar, even for this feature (this is our third mystery, after “Windblade” and “Punishment”), what separates this one is how dense it is. Within the first three pages of the story, we’re introduced to three characters, one location and an impending threat, all unrelated to the main cast so far. Various techniques –unreliable journal narration, dialogue insertion, two-page spread– are mixed to give everyone as much character as possible and make everyone suspect for what’s going on. And the onslaught of detail doesn’t stop there. This is the kind of story that would’ve been impossible with any other type of property, even a sci-fi one: the very idea of transformation is integral to how it works. Alt-mode details, in-universe cultural views, even having the ability to change shape are used both as world-building and clues for the mystery. This is the kind of story that makes the casual, vaguely interested reader into a devotee and forces them to go back and reread it to get all the foreshadowing. This applies to the dialogue, too. Roberts’ language, which we’ve seen before here, has been praised as snappy and quotable (Ratchet and Drift here, full stop), but it also shows a deep appreciation for all “Transformers” lore. The famous joke on the best names being taken, for example? Done at the expense of an obscure character from a previous generation reusing the name “Prowl”. If there’s one downside to all that, it’s that some scene transitions can be a little clumsy (Red Alert’s scenes, though important for later, come a bit out of left field), but it’s a small price to pay for the excellence on display.

Hark! What is that I see? A vessel is leaving the port! The sirens of the “S. S. Dratchet” are blaring! All aboard! FEELING SPACED BREATHING OUT LISTERINE | ART And speaking of excellence, the team of Alex Milne and Josh Burcham are on fire here. The amount of detail, fluidity and expressiveness on all pre-existing characters is incredible, but the new designs are a triumph on their own. Most will be distracted by Pharma (I know I was!), but it’s Ambulon’s story-important form that’s the real star here. In general, however, there’s incredible synergy between the art and the story. Background details (First Aid’s badge collection) and actions (again, First Aid’s fiddling in the second issue) are as important as anything else to solve the mystery, so make sure you read slowly and pay attention. In general, Milne’s able to pack an incredible amount of information into very tight pages. The best example is probably Drift attacking another character and transforming in a single, enlarged panel and a few mini, inserted ones. Lastly, the backgrounds need to be highlighted. The arrival to the outpost and the climax excluded, all scenes are set indoors, but the art doesn’t feel constrained by them. Instead, it has two different approaches to interior spaces. Everything in Delphi looks used, dented, past its prime –even the very walls feel grimy. This makes it the polar opposite to the brightly lit, spacey rooms of the “Lost Light”, full of inviting light blues and pinks (the violent outburst in Cyclonus’ room is the exception). Burcham’s richly textured work favors faded browns, sickly greens and rusted reds –the liquid of the mysterious disease looks eerily much like blood. Two flashback-montage sequences (Tailgate’s narration and the final explanation for the outbreak of the epidemic) are much freer in panel construction and dreamier in color pallet, but are once again tight and informative. Add to this some splashes of robo-gore and the unobtrusive lettering (Pharma’s silent speech bubble and use of a laser scalpel is another small miracle) and this is an artistic five-course meal.

Pssst. Nobody tell Pipes “corpse-pile” isn’t an actual game. Let him figure it out on his own. YOU'D KILLED THE BETTER PART OF ME | CHARACTERS AND THEMES But, if you’ll let me get personal for a moment, despite all the above gushing, my favorite element in this story is still its protagonist. Ratchet’s arc in IDW has been one defined by his old age, not a unique element in the franchise –same goes for his “Animated” and “Prime” incarnations, after all. Where this medic separates himself, however, is how he’s tied to the larger themes of reconstruction and moral grayness. The characters of this universe are no strangers to morally questionable actions –we have already seen one such early demonstration from the Autobots on this feature–, but the culprit behind the Delphi disease really takes the cake. He claims all sorts of survivalist justifications for his criminal actions, but the one that rubs the worst are his similarities to Ratchet –he calls attention to them to buy time and out of a need to show off, in traditional “baddie” fashion. And that hurts. After all the effort to end the war, there’s still rot, (literal and figurative) disease and evil. How long can anyone hold onto their ideals in such a world? Won’t these ideals be corrupted, sooner or later? Why not just copy the bad guy’s tactics? If such violence is justified, why not snap and kill the bastard already? Why remain selfless and sacrificial –isn’t it tiring? The villain’s charm and Ratchet’s moral dilemma play off of each other wonderfully through Roberts’ snarky dialogue, and the final stinger remains uncomfortable. In the b-plot, this theme is further emphasized with Tailgate and Cyclonus’ scenes, where the senior bot berates the younger one on choosing a faction knowing little of their world. The younger characters introduced do offer another view –that there can be hope for the future-, so there really is no final closure offered. Instead, I wish to end this paragraph with the words of another great author: “Life persists”.

Even beaten down, rusting from the inside out and minutes before death, Ratchet is still cooler and more presentable than all of us at our best. BUT I CAN'T STILL FOCUS ON ANYTHING | FINAL THOUGHTS While reading this story again for this feature, I had flashes of my first time reading it a few years back. At that point, I hadn’t been completely sold on “Transformers”, but processing the facts and the details and the character beats here, I started seeing that there was something great about them. “More Than Meets the Eye” is a special book, the perfect gateway to a rich, complex, beautiful universe and introduced me to one of my faves. This wasn’t the story that blew me away (that might come up later), but it definitely was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

[simfur]

20 Autobot Leaders Rated by How Much I Want to Punch Them

Starting with the big guy, the granddaddy of them all, G1 Optimus Prime. He’s like a father to me. I can’t in good conscience punch him, even if he sometimes deserves it for bad puns. 1/10 punchability I just can’t do it 

Rodimus Prime ranks high in the punchability for some because when Optimus died in the original movie, it traumatized kids so much that all their negative feelings got channeled into unbridled rage towards the guy who replaced him. However, I hate those guys because they became insufferable as adults, so that really just lowers Roddy’s punchability for me personally. 4/10 punchability he still kind of deserves it though 

Grimlock led the Autobots for a length of time I can’t remember after Optimus died in the Marvel comics. His was a reign of terror. I can’t decide if his jughead crown is kickin or if i want to kick it off him. 7/10 punchability he gets some lenience for his childlike innocence

Another Marvel comics leader was Fortress Maximus, who was also Cerebros. He was also the leader in the Headmasters anime after Rodimus flew off into space forever but I don’t think he actually had a personality in that. He’s a matryoshka of Autobot leaders with each getting smaller and more punchable than the last, ending in Moody College Student Spike Witwicky, who is thankfully the first one on this list who I don’t have to climb something to punch in the face. 9/10 punchability I’m a very short person so I might have to climb something anyways but that isn’t going to stop me

Last Marvel comics character, I swear. Captain Picard Hi-Q binary bonded with Optimus for a while, then Optimus died (this was about the third time), and Hi-Q eventually turned into Optimus so we just considered Optimus alive again. Don’t think too hard about it. 3/10 punchability I really like Star Trek TNG so I probably wouldn’t punch him

Ginrai’s robot self looks exactly like Optimus Prime, but he isn’t. Why he looks like him is sort of hand-waved away in the anime. The real-life reason, of course, is because he was just the Japanese release of Powermaster Optimus Prime. Ginrai is really good because he talks like an American teenager even when his robot form separated from his human self to become the Autobot commander at the end of Super-God Masterforce. 0/10 punchability I just can’t really punch a guy wearing converse, skinny jeans, and suspenders

Star Saber makes me forget that the Autobots were ever good guys. I don’t think he even has a personality outside of “noble and heroic leader.” He adopted a human son and tried to send him to a Catholic school but he doesn’t even buy him a uniform. The kid barely even goes to school in the end. 9/10 punchability don’t adopt a human if you’re not prepared to care for him

Optimus Primal is a good Autobot leader because he never even set out to be anything more than a captain on one ship but ended up sacrificing himself to bring life back to the planet, probably sparking a religious following. He won the “Power of the Primes” vote so he’s got to have a pretty low punchability, but he also looks like his malleble gorilla face would feel nice on my powerful fist. 5/10 punchability when POTP stuff starts coming will his name change to “optimus primal prime”?

Lio Convoy being a cat makes me not want to punch him so much. However, he isn’t a good father. Don’t worry about the kid not really being his son in any sense of the term. Why is ineptitude at fatherhood a recurring theme for Autobot leaders? 8/10 punchability Lio Junior deserved better

I’ll admit that Beast Wars Neo is the only thing on this list that I haven’t seen or read any of, so Big Convoy is mostly here for completion’s sake. Hence I’m rating him entirely on his appearance. Mostly I wouldn’t want to punch a mammoth, because they’re extinct, but I think he could take it. It would be a good workout for both of us. 10/10 punchability no hard feelings, we’re just two dudes lovingly punching each other

In Japan, he’s known as Fire Convoy, continuing their tradition of Autobot leader names, but in the west he’s the first-ever reboot of Optimus Prime. I don’t have a lot of opinions on him as a person or leader, but his existence opened the floodgates of Optimus Primes to come, which I have mixed feelings on. 5/10 punchability I can’t think of a reason to punch him, but I also can’t think of a reason not to

Armada Optimus Prime suffers from being Armada Optimus Prime. I think this was when they really managed to distill “Optimus Prime” down into its truest form. No longer was Optimus Prime a character, but a concept that extended beyond fiction and into our world. Optimus Prime means something. Optimus Prime is a figure for justice, honor, and liberty. 8/10 punchability I still can’t forget Energon though

Do I have to say anything. I’m not even somebody who vehemently dislikes Hot Shot, but for the love of god, why did he ever get to be a leader. 6/10 punchability I’d punch him but I wouldn’t put a lot of force into it, he’s not even worth it

Movie Optimus Prime is. uh. something else, all right. I can admire the movie taking the idea of Optimus Prime and going “okay, but what if he was also a murderbeast?” because I think that’s something we all really wanted to see play out. In practice it kind of scares me. 2/10 punchability I’m worried if I went for his face I’d no longer have mine

Animated Optimus Prime is a good boy. A baby boy. He’s trying his best in a world that seems against him. We all love him. 0/10 punchability I simply can’t bring myself to mar those luscious lips

I’m sure Animated Ultra Magnus did some great things during the war, but, yunno, seeing how Cybertron under him during peacetime is sort of a Stratocracy, I question his fitness to be the leader of a planet. They really gonna let the government run experiments on civilians? Okay. Alright. 4/10 I don’t want to punch him per se but I do sort of want to lead an armed rebellion against him

Hhh. HHHH. HOOGH. HHHAAAHH. HEH. HHhhhHHH. Just seeing Sentinel Prime’s face fills me with anger. If let loose, this rage could level mountains, sink continents, and incinerate entire solar systems. If there is any good in the cosmos, Sentinel Prime will not go unpunched. His face will be shattered into pieces with the sheer power of my unbridled fury. 10,000/10 punchability I have already punched him, spiritually, and I will do it again

I mean, alright. Prime Optimus Prime is kind of the distilled essence of Optimus Prime. If you took all the other Optimus Primes, and took all the things they had in common, and then took out a little bit of the anger because let’s be real here all the other Optimus Primes are quite a bit angrier than this one, you’d get Aligned Optimus Prime. Which is kind of how the Aligned continuity as a whole works. So, yeah, That Sure Is Optimus Prime. 3/10 punchability his soft-spoken words of wisdom would calm me down before I ever even raised my fist

Heatwave is the quintessential non-Optimus Autobot leader. He’s noble and courageous with a good sense of justice, but he was thrust into leadership without being the best and it and is a bit of a hothead. You can use that exact sentence to describe so many of the bots on this list. 4/10 punchability I don’t want to use violent methods when it comes to Rescue Bots but sometimes Heatwave’s personality warrants it 

I honestly can’t believe it took 30 years for a Bumblebee to be leader for reals. It happened so gradually that nobody was surprised when it happened, and yet it also feels like nobody can really accept it. I know I can’t. He doesn’t even look like any Bumblebee. Is this how longtime G1 fans felt when the Unicron trilogy started reusing names for different-but-not-wholly-different characters to keep the trademarks? 8/10 punchability we know you stole your schtick from Hot Rod via Hot Shot so stop trying to act like you’re so special 

[primus-why]

Hit me up with them Bayverse Hot Rod predictions or what the heck you think is gonna happen. I'm disparate for the trash child

AIGHT, here’s a long-ass rant of what I think is gonna go down in Bayverse number 5:

I think, first and foremost, Unicron will be awakened. I think Unicron will have actually been around way back in the day (hence the King Arthur stuff?), and had Predicons under his command that became the myths and legends we humans interpret them as today (AKA “dragons”, “hydra”, “monsters”, etc.). Lockdown had been alluding to a big religious phenomenon while he was around in the last movie, and I don’t think it was just centered around Optimus. Remember how the Dinobots were on his ship? What if they were also minions to Unicron, originally? Basically Unicron employs big beasts to roam the planet, and I think Lockdown was using the humans to collect them– all under the guise of helping humanity, when in fact, I think he was going to release them upon the humans to take back the Earth and kick-start Unicron’s revival.

I think Unicron is gonna pull a Transformers Prime on us and possess some people, most notably, Optimus Prime. How, you may ask? Well, Optimus has become more and more flawed as the movies have gone on. If we think about Primus, a being associated with life-giving properties, Optimus does his best to ensure a certain quality of life for all those he meets. He would do what he could in the first film to uphold his religious teachings/obligations. “Do not harm humans” was a part of his Primely mantra for so long, but then what happened in the last two films? Optimus slays another Prime, another holy entity; Optimus kills humans out of rage and anguish. And let’s not forget, he has killed Decepticons. Sure, it’s in self defense, but what kind of Prime kills the people he is supposed to protect?

So, what I am getting at here is that Unicron will use this corrosion, this slight, way-less-than-other-Primes-but-still-there corruption of Optimus Prime as a means to enter his psyche. Thus, we get purple-eyed Optimus. And from here I’d like to believe that Megatron only get involved and tries to help our main heroes at some point because he’s under the impression that he can prove his resilience and strength to Unicron, who could then leave Optimus’ body and give him some ultimate power. BUT, right as Megatron is betraying our main group, making his case to Unicron/ Unicron-possessed Optimus, OUT STEPS MOTHERFUCKIN’ GALVATRON FROM THE BUSHES, and oh shit now it’s Megatron vs Galvatron!!!! Cuz Unicron is like “why would I take you, an obsolete original, when I already have the loyalty of your upgraded superior…? Finish him.”

Anywho, I’d also like to toss in some BS and say the Dinobot make a reappearance and are firmly on Team (good) Prime, er… I guess Team Bee at this point. Imma come up with something convoluted like, they imprinted with Optimus, or Optimus broke Unicron’s hold over them in the last movie when he beat them into submission, or whatever. I’d also hold some hope that the human characters might be the ones to give them speech– think about it. Team Bee is isolated from their usual leader, who is actually trying to kill them right now; we’ve got some rando, sort of silly French guy who’s really late to the party; Bumblebee, who might not be ready to lead just yet; and maybe if we’re lucky some bots/Wreckers from the last film. Maybe. Anyways the humans are frustrated because everyone is really lacking in the communication skills. Maybe then, one of the Dinobots walks up and curls around them, and a human companion offhandedly says something like “I wish you could talk, maybe you’d have some more information on Unicron…”

And then, BAM, Cade Yeager and his small friend (who I am gonna assume/hope again the odds is also a super smart engineer person) upgrade the Dinobots with a speech ability. This could explain why Grimlock and pals have limited speech– it was engineered by humans, which of course can only grasp so much of Cybertronian technology…

AN - Y - WAYS

To get to what you were asking about, originally– where is Rodimus Hot Rod gonna fit into all this? I think he’s going to be very similar to Bee in the first movies (I think Bee seems a little more serious now, but that could just be speculation). He and Bee are gonna be BEST BROS. I think he’s going to be fun-loving, a little goofy, and probably really trusting towards humans (after he gets over a phobia of organics, perhaps???) Like Bee will be like “These are humans, they’re our friends” but then Hot Rod and friends are gonna get cornered by the government and Hot Rod is gonna be all “It’s okay, friends! We’re just here doing this-and-that, blah blah illegal things!” and Cade is gonna be like “THOSE guys AREN’T our friends!” Giggles will be had from the audience, they’ll be captured, and heck, maybe some bot is gonna die. IDK.

I think there’s gonna be some heart-to-heart scene while they are captured where Bee is like, being the stern one for once and is like “Take things more seriously!” but then it’s revealed that Hot Rod is always happy-go-lucky as a sort of front, as a way for him to deal with the awful shit he’s seen off-planet. And ANGST ANGST ANGST and PTSD. Like maybe if we look back after this reveal we’ll see signs that he really hates explosions or something– MAYBE when he arrives and he and Bee are being pals, a fight with an enemy group breaks out and it’s revealed that Hot Rod is actually super freaked out by explosions/battle or whatever. Freezes up. Hides. That sort of thing. Bee or other bots are like “What happened to the kick ass guy I used to train with?” and Hot Rod brushes it off with a joke. I wouldn’t put it past Bay since he seems like the kind of guy who would subscribe to the stereotype that French people are cowards.

Another thing Imma spin with: You know those pics of Cybertron crashing into Earth? Well, in Transformers Prime we’ve seen how Cybertron itself is Primus, while Earth is Unicron. Maybe these two planets so close together is what wakes up Unicron. Or maybe it’s the abominable experiments the humans made that have no spark (Galvatron)? Maybe it’s both lol. He could want to break free of his planetary form, and maybe only one Cybertronian god can release/destroy another, so he orchestrates the possession of Optimus Prime so as to use Primus’ own vessel to draw in Cybertron (Primus’ planetary form) until it destroys his planet form, then he would be free to wreak havoc across the universe. Or maybe he does it to destroy himself because he’s bitter and hate the humans crawling all over him. Or maybe it’s another thing that I will get to later.

AIGHT, so anyways I also want to take a moment to think about the title “The Last Knight”. I know Optimus is seen holding a sword, so maybe he’s gonna become a knight? I know that seems obvious, but hear me out on this. Armed with the knowledge that in other continuities, Hot Rod gains the Matrix and becomes Rodimus Prime, what if Optimus is slowly losing his connection to the Matrix? What if at some point Hot Rod does some daring do that then tunes the Matrix to him? Optimus may willingly die to be able to pass on the Matrix to someone else, someone better than his corrupt self. Remember “rethink your heroes”? What if that tag line is like a way to soften the blow of taking Optimus out of the Prime position (like instead of outright killing him in a shocking twist like in the G1 movie and then trying to replace him, they’re giving us a warning this time lol). HOWEVER, knowing Optimus’ life, he could get revived anyways (you know that OP floating in space clip), blessed once again by Primus for recognizing his faults, and instead of crowing two Primes, revives and anoints him to be a Knight of Cybertron. Then it becomes his duty to protect and be a mentor to the new Rodimus Prime. Rodimus gets to learn from one of the best, while forging his own path of Primacy. And his buddy Bee will be there all the way to support him too.

Final misc movie stuff: Cade’s daughter and her BF are never in this one. She’s in college or studying abroad or some BS. Young girl travelling with him NOW is/was a child prodigy of engineering. Bumblebee becomes a leader of his own small team, who peel off from Optimus’ main remaining ‘bots. Megatron and Galvatron’s battle takes them off a cliff, into the ocean where it’s up to the audience (or lol the next film) to find out who won who’s next you decide. Dinobots are turned loose after Grimlock proves to Optimus and Bee and Rodimus that he is a (pretty) intelligent, but capable leader for them, and agrees to keep in touch. aND THEN, OHHHH AND THEN–

I want it to be revealed at the end or implied throughout the film that the Quintessons have been orchestrating the whole thing, giving a set up for the next film. Maybe Quints are what gave Optimus the Unicron bug in the first place– perhaps he is doing some space meditation and feels this connection with a divine source, but he realizes too late that it is Unicron reaching into his mind. Maybe Primus and Unicron were just as much of a creation of theirs as the Cybertronians. Perhaps Cybertron/Primus was created as a factory for these Cybertronians, however it had developed an artificial intelligence which bled into and infected the things it created. Well, artificial/imperfect by their standards at least. So then they made Unicron, a polar opposite to Primus in every way to balance it out. Only something so large could be destroyed by an equal or greater entity, they reasoned. Unicron too developed an AI, but they anticipated this, and programmed him to only ever destroy. Perhaps Unicron becomes aware of this, and thus tries to kill himself and Primus to end his suffering. Or, perhaps the Quints programmed him to enforce a hard reset on their experiments– aka, programmed him with a self-destruct button. Anyways I want a looming threat of the Quints as the next film sets them up to formally “meet their makers” lol. (maybe they can kill one of them this film, and Bee can be like “what the hell was THAT” and Optimus can get all serious and be like “a quintesson”) also lol Primus/Unicron is dead after this flick, weeeee~

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 6: This Sure is a Comic I’m Reading.

The Dinobots are chilling out by the standing Titan, because Slag went and got his ass kicked by the super death wave a few issues back.

Excuse me, Slug.

There’s real-world context for this change- you see, in England, the word “slag” is often used as a derogatory term. Specifically, it’s either used as a stand in for “prostitute” or “whore”, or in more of a generalized “I greatly dislike this person” sort of way. It’s typically aimed at women, which is likely why Arcee said something to him as opposed to anyone else.

This little exchange is interesting, since Dark Cybertron Chapter 6 was published in 2014. Our boy Slug here first showed up in the original cartoon, back in the 80s, and was in the Marvel UK comics, where they didn’t change his name. A good portion of the IDW creative team, including 50% of the writers for this event storyline, are also from the UK. Seems like someone finally got sick of calling a whole-ass robot dinosaur a slut.

Not that there’s anything wrong with enjoying casual sex, or being a sex worker, but slapping labels on other people without their input is sort of a shitty thing to do, especially when you’re doing it in a franchise typically aimed at younger audiences, and with a surprisingly large following in the UK, where that term is used.

Anyway, while this conversation was happening, the Titan moved, and when it did, it kicked up a shit-ton of dust. Astrotrain, who is laying off to the side with his legs and an arm off, offers Swoop his binoculars. When asked why the hell he has binoculars- which doesn’t seem so strange to me, given that they’re standard military equipment in a lot of places- he tries to explain that he’s got shit eyes, and didn’t want Megatron to know about them. This would be an interesting glimpse into the inner workings of the Decepticons and how they view disability, if Swoop actually gave a damn.

But he doesn’t.

So it’s not.

Swoop sees with his special eyes that the guys who went down into the Crystal City have escaped, and are currently trying to outrun the Titan, and also the title of this issue.

Watch out, that typography’s gonna fuckin’ get you!

The Dinobots start firing on the Titan, which does fuck-all, and Prowl yells at them to head for Iacon, since that’s where the Titan’s going. Bumblebee, Skywarp, and Megatron are revealed to be MIA. Bummer.

Over on that weird water planet the Lost Light landed on a few issues back, the Rod Pod gang have puttered into Metroplex’s eye socket, and are currently making a Fantastic Voyage. Getaway asks where the hell Metroplex’s eyeball got to, but nobody has an answer for him, least of all Metroplex. Strange happenings on this weird water planet.

Ratchet gives everyone the skinny on Titan physiology theory- thank god he came along on the trip so I could at least get a little lore to feed my brain through this slog.

So, Metroplex’s spark could actually be out right now. Even though the lights are still on, that doesn’t mean anyone’s actually home, because the power of his spark needs time to actually travel through the body, and it needs a lot more time than the average robot, because he’s just so goddamned big. Humans also need time for their animating force… or, uh, blood to travel through the body. This is why we have a pulse. If it was instantaneous, we wouldn’t, but we’d probably also explode, because our squishy little bodies wouldn’t be able to handle that shit.

The gang starts scanning for life signs, even though they’re not even sure if they’ll be able to pick anything up. Brainstorm theorizes that the water could be causing degradation to Metroplex’s body. Getaway is still stuck on the Rod Pod existing. He’s having a moment. He’s been having a moment, really, ever since he saw the damn thing.

The results from the life-scan come in, and it looks like Metroplex might actually be okay, because there’s a blip for everyone in the Rod Pod, plus one! Hooray!

Nobody tell them about the hanger-on who’s basically glued himself to the ass of the Pod. We’ll let them have this little win, if only for a moment.

Ratchet suggests they head for the brain to check things out. Brainstorm reads back the report on the water sample he took, holding his data pad as precariously as he possibly can as he does. There’s admium flakes in the water. Nobody knows what this means, so they try to call Swerve, who is a metallurgist, for his professional opinion. The call goes to voicemail. Pity, that.

The fellas show up at the cranium, and there’s a small issue; Metroplex’s brain isn’t there. It wasn’t yanked out, either- it’s clean as a whistle in there, all things considered. Next stop- the spark. Hopefully they can get there before all the lights go out, because it’s beginning to look rather grim for ol’ Plexy.

Back on Cybertron, Starscream is asking about the fatality rate of the death wave, which is a bit funny to read now that I’ve typed it out. Tankor- who is our tie-in issue character today- decides he’s going to start some shit with Starscream, even as people are evaporating around him in the medical center he’s volunteered to assist at. Starscream takes the verbal stripping down with a straight face, because at this point, it’s just par for the course for him. Being head honcho of a whole planet kinda sucks, as he’s quickly finding out.

Flatline, who is also here, makes a crack at Starscream’s expense, and Starscream decides that that’s going to be the straw that breaks his camel’s back, as he starts getting dangerously sarcastic with the guy. Too bad this isn’t the time for that, however, because the Titan just showed up at the city limits.

Wow, Titan really said “fuck those two guys on the left in particular.”

Over in the Dead Universe, it turns out that the massive fiery laser blast from last issue DIDN’T kill everyone, and doesn’t actually seem like it was ever intended to. I suppose it was some sort of transport beam that Nova Prime used for his entrance, like the dramatic bitch he is. That’s neat, I guess.

Hardhead’s pretty upset by Nightbeat’s betrayal, not that Nightbeat really cares- being brainwashed tends to have that effect. Hardhead starts slamming his skull against the containment cube, living up to his name and also making himself look like a fool. Cyclonus is beginning to regret agreeing to this trip. Orion Pax punches the wall and starts yelling at Nightbeat for being a traitor, pretty much breaking his hand in the process. Rodimus tries to get him to chill out, and gets a knuckle sandwich for his troubles.

Also, this whole thing is a ruse. Orion managed to crack the cube, and he’s gonna try to get them out, but he can only do it if Nightbeat doesn’t realize what’s going on. Once Rodimus is let in on the plan, he tries to butter up ol’ Ikea Johnson, who notices the very mysterious something that’s on Rodimus’ palm. The thing that’s NOT his forcefield generator, that we don’t get to know about just yet.

Seeing the mysterious something makes Nightbeat fall to his knees, clutching his head in pain. At least, that’s what Orion says happened. I don’t know what happened or why, or why Orion would fucking know what happened or why. Or even, really, if it was Orion making the claim in the first place.

Not even any feet to try to connect to characters. I’m just guessing on previous panels.

“Dark Cybertron” makes me so, so tired.

Anyway, Nova Prime tells everyone to get on their knees, lest he shoot them with his big honkin’ back turrets.

Back inside Metroplex, the fellas have exited the Rod Pod and are on the hunt for Metroplex’s spark. Someone’s gone and drawn arrows pointing in the direction of the spark chamber, though who exactly is a mystery. Lots of mystery going on this issue. The boys decide to see where the graffiti takes them, leaving the Rod Pod to whatever fate might befall it while they’re gone.

Nobody likes the Rod Pod very much.

Also, that hanger-on from earlier is still there. This’ll turn out great, surely!

We get treated to a double-page spread of Escher proportions, as the gang tries to traverse the inner workings of Metroplex, until they hit an arrow that seemingly hits a dead end. When they brute force their way through the ceiling, it’s bad news bears; they’re right back where they started. Whirl, our most volatile friend, takes out his frustration on the Rod Pod, only for more bad news to reveal itself: the Pod’s been rigged to explode by the hanger-on!

And that’s a series wrap on the Rod Pod Squad! Let’s give ‘em a hand, folks!

Back in the Dead Universe, Nova Prime is busy deadnaming Orion, and generally just being an asshole. He notices Cyclonus off in the corner, and starts being an asshole at him too, because that’s how Nova interacts with the world. It’s all he knows.

It’s at this point that Cyclonus gives Hardhead the signal, and Hardhead bashes through the crack in the cube. Too bad it reseals itself directly behind him. Hardhead goes to punch Nova Prime, and gets his hand crushed into pulp for his troubles. Then he dies, because that was his forcefield hand.

And that’s a series wrap on Hardhead!

Nova Prime informs everyone that he’ll be taking them to visit a pal of his.

You know, this reveal would be a hell of a lot more poignant if I could FUCKING TELL WHO THE SHIT THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE.