#i was sad so i decided to rewatch skam

[yikesike]

me: :(

isak:

me: :)

[vexedtonightmares]

hey :) do you mind sharing some more about the skam austin panel today?

yeah for sure!! i’ll put what i remember under the keep reading tab for ppl who wanna hear about it :) i only went to the panel, not the rewatch (bc money lmao) so there are probably some other things they talked about that i missed, but i’m sure there are other ppl on here that can fill you in on any gaps that i miss!

it was valeria (jo), julie (megan), and lakeisha* (shay), and pedro (p jo) on the panel (he was the moderator, the other three did most of the talking), though they did mention other castmates throughout :,) 

*lakeisha was the name they went by on the panel, and in the info before the panel it said they use they/them pronouns, so that’s how i’ll be referring to them throughout this 

all of them started out by talking about what they’re doing currently, julie said she’s dropping out of school because her therapist told her “you as a person matters more than you as a student” which i thought was a great sentiment as well 

lakeisha said they’ve been making a lot of clothes and music (also throughout the whole thing they kept showing us their shoes and they left to pee like halfway through something they were answering one time hfjskaj)

they then talked about their audition processes (val had the most chaotic series of audtions omg i would love to see her audition tapes)

val originally read for either jo or megan, and she had literally just moved there like right before casting and almost didn’t go to her audition

she said that she decided to be the loudest person in the room so that they couldn’t ignore her, and that carried her through most of the rounds of auditioning

she said that at the end she said “if you don’t choose me, which you should choose me, but if you don’t, please choose another latinx actress because you have no idea how much it means to see someone who looks like you on screen”

julie auditioned because she was hoping julie (andem) would bring lisa and tarjei and she basically wanted a free meet and greet djkfshk 

she found out about skam og on tumblr !! she’s one of us 😌 

she thinks julie andem is the coolest person in the world 

they told her that she was pretty much everything they envisioned megan to be, so they cast her fairly early on and then had her partner with the marlon prospects 

giovanni, who eventually played tyler, auditioned for marlon and they kissed during their audition even though they weren’t supposed to

julie went to high school with till who ended up playing marlon and people would always ask her what it was like to get to make out with him and she was just like .... we just working bruh

lakeisha found the ad to audition on instagram and decided why not because it said it was a paid job 

they looked up a bunch of improv games the night before because they had no experience and had no idea what they were doing

in the audition julie asked what the tattoos on their hand meant (and also the one thing lakeisha was excited about being out of contract was that they could get as many tattoos as they wanted without asking for permission)

they all had a lot of love for julie andem and loved working with her

val said that she’d always try to make julie laugh and she said that julie is the reason og and austin are so good, because it’s her story and her vision 

they roasted the shit out of fb too (as they should)

basically fb ghosted them and never renewed the show but also never cancelled it so technically they don’t even know if anyone else could get the rights to reboot the show somewhere else (lakeisha said ‘skam austin onlyfans’ lmao)

i don’t remember which one of them said it but they said fb is like an inconsistent dad lollll

they also think that fb sort of finessed julie/her team because they were under the impression that it would be like og where they had their own website for the show and everything, but then it ended up just being a facebook page

they also filmed promo for season 1 that never ended up being used but they don’t know why 

lakeisha felt super disrespected by the fact that not only did they not get their season, but also the fact that they just dropped the show like it was nothing and none of them even found out that they probably weren’t getting more seasons until they saw that their instagram accounts were gone

everyone was upset about the igs getting deleted too because they put so much work into the content on there for it all to just disappear 

val said “no one tells a story like the one that was about to be told” and everyone agreed

val said that if the show would have continued, jo would have been undocumented and they would have shown her trying to navigate college (not only were we robbed of a jo season, we were robbed of college seasons 😤)

jo x jo were definitely going to be a thing

val said that when they wrapped s2 she was like finally!!! because now they could get into the stories that they really wanted to tell and really knew would make a difference (everyone vehemently agreed)

they were proud of the fact that they’re the most diverse cast and that they don’t just treat the characters of color like sidekicks like the other remakes do

julie talked about how skam france was the only remake to have jonas not accept isak right away when he was coming out and how it was suspicious that he happened to be the only non white jonas and that was the choice they made

val said that druck is the only remake she’s watched but she likes it

they also talked about how, even though it’s great that the cast was so diverse, practically everyone behind the scenes was white

val said that she didn’t really think about it much at the time because she found it hard to speak up since she was very young and inexperienced but looking back she wishes jo’s body wasn’t so fetishized as a latina (she didn’t clarify whether she was talking on a production level or within the fandom, but she talked about costuming so i assumed she meant more on a production level)

they all wished there was more representation off screen as well as on

shay x megan was brought up and julie said that shay was going to have her own love interest (am!even !!!!) come season three, and that it wouldn’t have been megan 

she also said that megan was mostly just confused and like ‘haha i kiss girls when i’m drunk’ but then she also said that megan and shay never had feelings for each other at the same time so 👀 

she was upset that they made megan and marlon get back together at the end of season 2 because she wasn’t a fan of them together, but she said it also makes sense because a lot of teen girls go back to their toxic exes even when they know it’s not good for them

lakeisha said that they hated shay’s acrylic nails because it didn’t make sense to them for her to have them (especially since shay was a musician)

they also said that they’ve been pretty confident and open with their sexuality since they were around 12, and that one time in middle school they dated a boy because he had an xbox and then they were like oh no is this toxic am i using him because he actually has feelings for me?? hdskafja 

they also said that the cfgc music happened because they heard that the boys from og also had a song and at first i was like wtf are they talking about but now i think they meant the penetrator song 💀💀 

julie has a cfgc shirt :,) and they all stole a bunch of clothes and stuff from set, val said she took a bunch of outfits that jo never wore which makes her sad to think about now 

val’s favorite scene to film was the car scene in s1 before the party (she said it was one of the best moments of her life) and julie said she liked that one as well (val said there’s a shot of her looking into the camera and flipping it off but they didn’t include it in the show, i feel robbed)

people asked how it felt for lakeisha to be the first lesbian isak and they said that they didn’t feel like they were, because they didn’t really get the chance :(( but they also said that the idea itself was very intimidating and there was a lot of pressure around it

they also said that they and gio were very very close both on screen and off, they said it wasn’t even like they were an extension of one person, that’s how close they got

there were a lot of improvised scenes, particularly with val, and she also said that incorporating spanish into jo’s dialogue was mostly improvised 

julie, val, and pedro also all talked about how they’re all mexican, and how each of their life experiences vary so much from one another, on the show and off and julie said megan’s upbringing was a lot like hers 

they all also said that they liked the music the show used and a lot of them have emotional attachments to a lot of the songs 

val said she wishes they used more frank ocean and i agree 

they also said they’re not sure if there are bloopers or anything, but they’d love to see them if there are 

i’m trying to think of anything i missed ahhh i feel like they talked about so much but i think i’ve got the key points soooo

that’s all !!! hope this was interesting to ppl who still care about austin like i do :,))

[gilly-bean]

Final thoughts on ipytm

I didn't have the proper time to sit down and form cohesive thoughts about ipytm as a whole during the weekend but now that I have some time, I think I wanna say something since the show has pretty much occupied all my thoughts for the past 5 weeks and some of this stuff needs to just be released from my brain for my own sake if for nothing else. So buckle up, it's going to be a long one.

I'm gonna premise this by saying that itsay meant the world to me. It’s one of my favorite pieces of media ever. I have waxed poetry about it so much that this time the only thing I will say is that I felt seen by it in a way that I have never ever been seen before. P'Boss said that it was made for queer people and that's what it felt like. I think that more than anything made me feel safe and cared for by a TV series, which is a thing that can happen apparently.

Now ipytm. Ipytm I found mostly difficult. It's not because I couldn't find it relatable - it was - painfully so. But episode after episode I felt like I was being relentlessly reminded of all the worst things in my life, things I would rather not be reminded of, things that did not end well, things I found no source of joy in seeing represented onscreen. I found ipytm difficult not because it was badly made (although there were things that I think could have been done better) but because it made me feel like shit. Most of the time. Episode 5 is the only episode I can say I enjoyed every second of and it's also the only one I have rewatched.

Mind you, I don't think the people who wrote ipytm own their audiences anything. I also don't think a sad story makes it a bad one nor do I think a story without real conflict is ever going to be an impactful one. I don't even have a problem with the story they ultimately told, I think it's a good story. But the way it was told made me mostly question what is all this suffering for? Real as it might be, the way they decided to focus only on the bad stuff made me struggle to see what kind of a story they really wanted to tell here? What is all of this worth if the relationship is the center piece of the story and there's nothing in the storyline to indicate that the viewer should want the relationship to work out? What kind of a story is this is what I kept asking ad nauseam.

Suffering in my life sometimes has made me a stronger person but sometimes it has been pointless, a thing that happened without any silver linings. Like I said, it's not that ipytm doesn't feel real. But what I do know is that pointless suffering is not something I wanna consume in my free time. Episode 5 showed me that there was a point to the suffering - to make these people grow up - but for four episodes I struggled to see that point and I can't just say trust the writers when there is nothing textually making me see what their goal is. I’m sure the point was shrouded intentionally to keep the viewers at the edge of their seat until the end but knowing that does not make my frustration any less potent. Writers 100 % of the time do what they want to do and even good writers can and will write stuff that you personally dislike or even hate. And for me personally, realism has never guaranteed that I would enjoy a piece of media.

This sounds like I hated ipytm. I did not. I could never hate anything that PP and Bilkin do, they own my heart. And what got me excited for ipytm way back when all we had was the trailer was the idea that they could show how hard relationship can be but that if you keep choosing each other no matter how much you change how strong they could be too, and I think that was the story they told in the end. I absolutely loved the fact that Oh-aew decided to give Teh another chance not because it made sense but because he felt like it. 'Cos that's what love is, there's nothing logical about it, you never end up together with the people who make sense on paper but with the people that make you feel like you want to keep trying. And that’s true for Teh too, Oh-aew would have never gotten to that point if Teh hadn’t gone all the way in crazy land to get him back. And that's all that matters.

I just wanted to see more of that throughout the show. Teh and Oh-aew choosing each other despite stuff being difficult. I wanted to be reminded that they actually loved each other. Teh's confusion about their relationship only felt confusing to me. I don't think I ever fully grasped what exactly he was feeling. Was he distancing himself from Oh-aew because he felt like he was being abandoned by him by virtue of Oh-aew abandoning acting/ostensibly changing? Was he slowly falling out of love because he was rehashing the Tarn/Oh-aew dynamic of his life again with Jai i.e. does he want to be with someone who he thinks is just like him, with the same ambitions and goals in life? The promise, the petty complaining of all the external changes that Oh-aew was going through, the insistence on how he never thought about breaking up, the text messages, make me think it's the former case. His relentless and shameless pursuit of Jai and the fact that he tries with Airy makes me think it's the latter case. Or is it that the former point was the underlying reason that made him question the second point (and forget that he did actually have this debate with himself already in itsay) which is kind of the impression I get from his play?

Even though I know cheating rarely happens only for one reason for the purpose of a cohesive narrative, I do think they needed to pick one lane. And if not, they at least completely missed the opportunity to make this connection clear in the bridge between ep 2 and ep 3, causing whiplash that’s bound to make viewers confused and angry. Then it’s compounded by stuff like Teh going from confessing his love to Jai to begging Oh-aew to not break up with him, which at best makes you confused about Teh's state of mind and at worst makes you think he's being disingenuous and manipulative. It’s a lot to ask from the viewer to wait and see if the writers will make it make sense later on. So, while cheating as a storyline is not a breaking point for me, it does need to be better executed than this for me to think it was the right choice.

Now, after rambling on about this for more than 1000 words (ridiculous), the conclusion I got is that I loved the overall story, (mostly) hated the way there. But if nothing else I am not above admitting that I’ve been absolutely obsessed with this show, in a completely unhinged way, in a way that has actually distracted me from real life and I can only remember og skam doing that to me. So well done show. Well done. It’s going to take ages for me to move on from this and I will surely never forget it.

[shinjaeha]

itsay ep 4 (thoughts + spoilers)

idk even know how to even start this bc i feel like i’m just a big ball of emotions, and this ep was wild. so much happened. last ep was so wonderful and almost languid with how everything played out (esp since it focussed much more specifically on the shift in teh/oh-aew’s relationship). this ep had a bit more of everything, not just the two of them in their bubble anymore. societal forces at play, and hence much more angst. again, this isn’t a  proper analysis, it’s just me ranting and raving as usual as i semi-rewatch this again. this is very long, and there are a lot more things i want to think about in more detail at some point bc i’m mostly just skating over a lot of what happened but i gotta get these thoughts in my head out of me somehow. and i’m not sure if what i’m typing will even make sense bc i MYSELF can barely make sense of what i’m feeling but here i go anyway.

so we start off with the both of them kind of awkward after the night before which is fair enough considering what happened. actually when oh-aew’s habit started playing up again, i thought teh wasn’t going to scratch his back bc he was trying not to ~go there again after the night before, but he did and i was pleasantly surprised like oh...maybe things aren’t that bad?? (YET). also, i can imagine that it would have been reassuring for oh-aew too. like things have changed, but it’s not like teh has completely abandoned him. the touch itself is comforting, like when they were kids.

teh’s mum talking about how she wants both of her sons to bring their girlfriends around (and hounding him about bringing tarn around again) is giving me war flashbacks to my own asian relatives and i can feel the way that must crawl under his skin. I HATE when family members do that (and they always do). but for teh it must be esp hard bc he’s already constantly feeling like he’s vying for his mum’s attention over his brother, and now hoon’s bought back a girlfriend so it’s yet ANOTHER thing he feels like he has to compete with his brother over. in the back of his mind, he knows that he can’t give his mum what she wants if he’s with oh-aew (he can’t ‘win’ over hoon bc heteronormativity). teh is def prone to jealousy fairly easily, but i always feel like his emotions on that base level are also very easy to understand. i’ve been in positions like that before where i’ve felt like i’ve constantly been compared to someone else, and it makes you feel like shit. but also oh-aew having to sit through teh’s mum telling him to let her know if teh and tarn are dating?? ouch.

cue teh trying to avoid what’s going on with them and oh-aew being sad :((( they’re both in so much pain and i feel it and thank god i am no longer a teenager that’s all i can say about this.

the guitar in skyline instrumental is just...making me feel some kind of way. they have so many versions of this song and they always use the right version at the right time how is that.

so the tarn scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first thought: holy shit she looks so cute i love her crop top where did she get it i want one. second thought: but why did they make her wear a dark bra under such a light top?? i love that i was thinking this and then it all unravelled in front of me and like...the brilliance. the contrast between the scene in ep 2 (i think?) where teh accidentally peeks at her bra through the buttons of her shirt and gets noticeably flustered, and then this one where she literally wears the same bra under a light shirt ON PURPOSE to get his attention, but he doesn’t even notice?? the way she expects him to colour the hibiscus purple, but he colours it red for oh-aew instead?? it’s so incredibly telling of where his heart is at, and how his feelings have changed. anyway, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s just not all there with her anymore, and tarn isn’t stupid...she’s been picking up on the signals since the beginning (why was he so weirdly obsessed with beating oh-aew at the start? why was he willing to wake up at 4am for oh-aew but not for her? willing to tutor the rest of his friends but not spend time with her?). the way she sees him colouring the hibiscus red and it’s her wake up call, like wtf am i DOING bc of this guy????? i love how she acknowledges that her feelings for teh have made it so she’s solely focussed on him and that she hates the things it makes her do (like wearing the bra to gain his attention). ngl i was slightly worried with how they were going to use her character during these later eps with teh being so conflicted (since girlfriends in BLs are usually handled pretty poorly), but i appreciate that she’s still as fleshed out and full of feeling as she ever was. she’s so sweet, and i just wish she had better than this, but i’m glad she called teh out on it. i know he’s confused af rn, and tbh i don’t think he’s handled this as badly (atm at least) as i thought it could have gone, but at the same time, if he doesn’t decide and set his heart on what he really wants, he’s just going to end up hurting them all. LOVE that she basically tells him to get his shit together first before coming back to her. i like her so much. and that scene of teh just walking around and around at the back feeling conflicted while she drew? really reminds me of the squiggly line timeline(?) of how ep 4 was going to go that nadao released before this ep went live. also cmbyn vibes were real in that one.

the devastation in oh-aew’s voice when he asks teh to at least reply his messages ;;; it’s like teh wants to go back to just being friends and oh-aew has kind of accepted that at this point, but at the same time, teh’s not backing that up. he says he wants to be friends, but he doesn’t know how to act ‘normal’ about it anymore, so he pushes oh-aew away instead. good on oh-aew for not taking that shit and standing up for himself too. i absolutely cannot stand seeing oh-aew sad bc pp’s sad face/voice is so good it actually pains me.

notice how teh ALWAYS uses studies/tutoring as an excuse to get closer to oh-aew again...hmmm...does oh-aew see it for what that is now too? that “you’ve never understood me” hit me like a fucking train. to think that they were so attuned to one another last ep, but now teh’s too caught up in he’s own world to realise just how much he’s hurting oh-aew. thanks, i hate it.

i know that he’s needs to figure himself out more and i absolutely stand by the fact that he needs to do that without messing around with either oh-aew or tarn (and also that he’s using studies again to get into oh-aew’s good books instead of talking through feelings and all that), but the chinese idiom book that he made for oh-aew was actually SO CUTE and romantic. all this stuff he does for oh-aew to show that he clearly cares so much, yet he can never accept it enough to get the words out...

I SWEAR THEY PLAY THE INSTRUMENTAL SKYLINE JUST TO CHOKE ME UP. the darting around each other after the neck kiss COUPLED with the skyline instrumental?? it’s like a sad beach scene 2.0. teh making the first (intimate) move this time. every time he’s trying so hard to convince himself he’s not in love with this boy, and every time he keeps coming back. i always feel such a weird mix of happy and sad when i see them together bc i love them but i know teh in particular, is just not ready yet. like the hug scene made my heart leap, BUT they did it in hiding (under the staircase). all their big intimate scenes are in hiding and that just :(((

teh saying that he loves the seawater on his back bc it holds him up, and oh-aew saying but you have to hold your breath in that posture and it gets uncomfortable so he likes letting it go and just sinking sometimes instead (obv paraphrasing but you get the drift)?? THE WRITING IN THIS. it says so much without telling the audience directly...so poetic. everything about this show is so poetic. the way they sink into the ocean and into that space of oh-aew’s where you can just let yourself go without holding back, and then and only THEN does teh finally kiss oh-aew. and it’s beautiful, after holding back for so long, but it’s also painful bc he’s let go but only within this tiny pocket of space and time. in hiding again. that bird’s eye view shot where you can’t see them at all sealed it for me. like you want to be happy, but you can’t really bc you know that they’ve still got so much more to go...like when teh’s hand grazes oh-aew’s chest and you see oh-aew realise again...like that’s partly what stopped teh the first time in ep 3. when his hands stopped at oh-aew’s chest like it hit in for him that he was a boy. anyway, love that they gave us a skam kiss but i’m also very sad. on another note, how the hell did they hold their breath for that long?????

love that they gave us a further 2 more seconds of teh/oh-aew being cute (CONSTANTLY thinking about teh’s fingers dancing across oh-aew’s face and smushing his face in his hands...oh-aew holding the back of teh’s head...just a brief moment of carefreeness) before they went for the jugular. watching teh fight against himself in this way is what hurts. oh-aew begging him to just let go and accept what they are (the way he keeps going “what did i do wrong?? you feel it too!!”) but he’s so tortured he can’t do it. it’s downright fucking heartbreaking. the “one day i’ll stop feeling this way”...could have just stabbed oh-aew and it would have hurt less. all i know is i’m hurting for the both of them. the repression is real, and it just sucks. this whole thing fucking sucks for both of them (and tarn and bas too at that). idk it just gets me that oh-aew is coming out of this having been rejected once again bc teh isn’t ready yet. and i know this but it doesn’t make me any less upset. not at any of them bc it’s hard i know it’s hard...just at the situation. sometimes it feels like teh’s taking a step forward but then he takes two more back instead. the look on teh’s face when oh-aew was like let’s stop being friends...total devastation. i’m done. don’t want to think about it anymore.

i’m glad that oh-aew’s parents are so supportive of him though. i wasn’t sure how close they were based on their previous interaction but they really love him and i’m glad he has that stability to help him through this.

THE SCENE WITH OH-AEW AND THE BRA FUCKING BLEW ME AWAY. this show is always keeping me guessing, and again yet another thing that i wasn’t expecting but it was so visceral. the red of the bra in comparison to tarn’s bra with the purple hibiscus flowers on it...everything connects. oh-aew looking into the mirror with that bra on and thinking about how things would have been different if only :((( and then his breakdown when he realises that it’s not and that’s the reality of the situation. the feeling that gave me sits so deep within my chest i can’t even begin to carve it out.

teh masturbating when he sees that picture of oh-aew and to that picture of yongjian on his wall (idk why it only now just occurred to me that yongjian is always in red too)?? the self-hatred in this scene. the internalised homophobia. my heart feels so heavy.

he KEEPS reaching and it’s going nowhere bc it won’t ever be enough, and that’s not fair on himself and it’s not fair on tarn. like i understand what he’s going through, and i get that he’s extremely confused and needs the clarification, but when he asks tarn to tell her she loves him and he can’t do the same back for her...i just feel so, so, so fucking bad for tarn.

oh-aew hoping that the worksheets left for him were from teh (which would be very on brand of him), but then seeing bas :( maybe in another world, in another life (like teh and tarn)...but he’s such a sweetheart. bas, best boy ;;;

legit as soon as the gang came to see teh off to bangkok and talk to him about how oh-aew was doing terribly (and wasn’t planning on going to the admission exams) i knew where this was going to go. there’s been so much foreshadowing leading up to this, and this was also one of (if not my main theory) with how things were going to eventually play out. but tbh for some reason i thought it was going to play out later in ep 5...but like damn. damn. the way i understand but at the same time i kept going OH TEH :( throughout this. the utter STRESS this bit put me through. THE MISCOMMUNICATION.

anyway, teh’s love language is clearly acts of service. but it can really be to his detriment when he does things impulsively (albeit with care and good intentions), but he doesn’t use his words so things get lost in translation. sometimes actions just aren’t enough and you really do need words to communicate.

the confirmation scene was so tense...even now i’m just sitting here thinking about it and there’s a hole in my stomach at the thought of what teh must be going through and what he ends up doing. like when that last person on the list shows up and you KNOW it’s going to happen but at the same time it’s like a punch to the chest bc there’s just no doubt that teh’s going to turn it down for oh-aew...OF COURSE he would. oh-aew’s split moment of happiness before realising what teh’s done...the absolute dread i still have in me at the realisation of this.

the tension really kept increasing from here on in...teh coming home and his mum just being so fucking proud of him and telling everyone in the restaurant about how happy she is for him (all while teh is absolutely depleted), then tarn coming in and everything bubbling over when she realises what teh’s done too. realises that teh’s in love with oh-aew (smile is so great in this btw like WOW). the “you hurt me and i’m alright with that, teh, but right now you’re hurting yourself” broke my heart. absolutely love tarn as a character and only ever want the best for her.

when he tells his mum :((((((((((( and his mum just goes on about how hard he’s worked and how much he’s already sacrificed only for him to throw that away. he wanted her to be proud of him SO BAD, wanted to not be compared to his brother for once, only for him to give away his place bc he loves oh-aew more than he wants his mother’s praise. more than he wants to compete and ‘win’ against his brother. when she points to hoon and goes “why can’t you be more like him?” and he just loses it. like rubbing salt in the wound. i’m so glad hoon finally hugged him the way i’ve been wanting to this whole time. the banner congratulating him that teh’s mum made with all his materials from before :((( hoon giving him money for uni :((( you ever watch some things and feel like you’ll never be happy again...

okay the way that everything spiralled during the ig story fight?????? what gets me is that teh sacrificed his place thinking that oh-aew wasn’t going to sit the exam at all (he could have just talked to him and convinced him instead but ughhh i understand i get it). oh-aew thinks he did it bc teh didn’t believe he could get in himself (which of course then spurs him to give it up so he can get in through the exam instead). and when teh sees that, it’s like a smack in the face, like he went through all that only for oh-aew to reject it (him). it’s just layers upon layers of miscommunication and the anxiety of it all absolutely guts me. and then the anger mixing into devastation when he opens his book and sees how it’s all cut up. the remnants a reminder of everything he’s done for oh-aew. this boy that he adores but can’t accept he has feelings for. it’s just this mix of anger and sorrow and what have i fucking done?????? and how could he????? the cast were all fantastic but billkin really had to go above and beyond in this one and i could absolutely feel his pain throughout this.

TO PIGGY BACK ON THIS, like i said before, teh has always used studying/tutoring as a tool to get closer to oh-aew, but seeing that book with all the words gone was in part also him realising he doesn’t have that anymore. he can’t use that tool to get close to oh-aew anymore. the only way forward would be to actually get close to oh-aew without the pretences. and the saddest part of this all is that oh-aew doesn’t even NEED all of that (the tutoring, the book of idioms, the relinquishing of his uni spot)...the only thing he wants is for teh to ADMIT his feelings out loud. to admit that he feels the same way about oh-aew that oh-aew feels about him.

it’s funny bc in the last ep, the conversation that had me feeling the most nervous was when they’re talking at the cape, and oh-aew’s telling teh that he’s a rival and inspiration to him. i always KNEW this was going to come back to haunt them. like a constant circle. friends to rivals to friends to more than friends(?) to rivals. it’s a fine line. narratively, it always had to happen, and now they’re back to competing against one another yet again, and it’s going to be so tough bc they’ll have so much more competition on top of that as well.

next ep is going to be very, very hard on teh, but somehow after this ep, i just feel a lot more hopeful about it? i’m pretty convinced at this point that it won’t end in tragedy (which was the thing that i wanted least of all). of course i want both teh and oh-aew to end up together, but i can understand if they don’t. if this ends with them rekindling their friendship again, that’ll be enough for me. their relationship has been so turbulent and passionate that it needs some stability, and hopefully when teh’s in a better state of mind, when he’s at a place when he’s finally accepted all parts of himself, they’ll get there. so if that means it ends on them running to the cape together (even if they’re not technically together) fulfilling their promise to one another in the sunset, then that’s fine with me. i don’t mind an open ending if it makes sense in the context of the story, and i think something like that would. it’s like after such an angsty episode, you need a slight reprieve from it. i have no doubt in my mind that ep 5 will contain darkness, but i do think that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. so for once i feel truly hopeful about it.

i can’t believe we only have one more ep left to go...

[bowenandjohnson]

Hi Sarah 🙋‍♀️

Well, since you asked... 😉 Can you rate your favourite “Sanas”? & perhaps could you include both Imaan and Esra (🇳🇱) in the ranking? 👼 (since Esra was in a sense also a Sana and she’s soo precious! 😻)

Thanks in advance! 💐

Love,

anonacht 🌃

P.S. Yes, I’m everywhere! 😈 Only friendly fire though! 💚

P.P.S. “nacht” = the Dutch word for night! 🤓 And it’s still a shame skamNL never moved beyond season 2! 😭

Hello, Twitter anon aka anonacht :) I love you too (also thanks for putting up with me on Twitter, because I am insufferable, at least to myself lol)

Thank you for indulging me, and requesting my Sana ranking. 

1. sana bakkoush - skam

It’s kind of sad that no other Sana season has been able to top the original, at least in my opinion. But Sana Bakkoush deserves this crown, because she is a character who redefined Muslim representation onscreen. Iman Meskini was such a force in her season, and everything Sana felt, she managed to make me feel like that too. When she cried, so did I. When she was angry, I was pissed, and so on. I love her and her Yousef so, so much. She is everything, honestly. I hope Sana is out there, being a doctor and revolutionizing medicine as we know it.

2. amira naybet - skam espana

Ooh, okay. I know a lot of people won’t agree with me on this one, and that’s fine! Amira Naybet means the world to me. Like literally, she is my comfort character. As I began this past fall semester as a junior in college during a freaking pandemic, she and Hajar Brown took my heart and ran with it. I personally love that she was also the Jonas in Cris’ season, as it gave her so much depth before her season aired. Ultimately, I agree that her season was flawed, and I definitely think that her season needed actual Muslim writers involved, and not just consultants. Her season production was also hindered by the pandemic too, which sucks, because I think a whole episode was cut from her season, and there was a lot of rewriting in the back half so they could meet COVID guidelines. But overall, I’m glad the writers tried to be different with their Sana and change some things up. I still love Amira, and I do love her relationship with Dani (although I will never understand that Al-Queda joke in his first clip, it feels like a misguided attempt at Spanish humor that did not translate well at all). And I’m glad Hajar felt safe and secure with this team and was happy with Amira’s story, given the circumstances. (ps: she deserved the full nine episodes, I don’t care what Movistar thinks.)

3. amira thalia mahmood - druck / zoya ali - skam austin

AMIRA THE SECOND. I love her too. I especially liked that she was technically the first Girl Squad member introduced in Hanna’s season, instead of Miss Mia. I liked that change. I also love the friendships she had with Matteo and David, and that Matteo was saved as “idiot” in her phone. She was truly a queen. Mohammed is also a king, one of my favorites. I also liked that Druck also tried to change some things and make their Sana season more relevant, with the Christchurch references and setting her season outside of Ramadan. But sadly, like Amira N.’s season, it failed to really delve into the racism that Amira had dealt with in the GS from Kiki. If Nadia was able to apologize well, I don’t understand why Kiki couldn’t have done the same thing. Again, I feel that her season needed Muslim writers to really delve into these issues. Also, the whole eight episodes thing? Dumb. They could have delved more into Mohammed’s immigrant experience and Amira reintroducing him to Islam, etc. Why can’t Amiras just get their full seasons for once? 

Onto Zoya, who sadly didn't get her season, but I feel like she was a great character, perhaps closest to the Sana from OG in terms of characterization. She was “no bullshit,” but also the fiercest, loyal friend out of the Austin GS, besides maybe Jo, who really had Kelsey’s back at the end of s2. I feel like we really missed out on seeing her story, as she was a Muslim teen living her high school experience under a Trump presidency and a Muslim travel ban (that’s now thankfully been repealed). I loved that she got Prom Queen in s2, but I hate that literally everyone dropped the ball when it came to supporting her. The GS basically ignored the locker graffiti aka a literal hate crime? *cough cough* hire POC and Muslim writers. She was a queen though, like all Sanas who came before her.

4. esra aydin & imaan elami - skam nl

Imaan was cool, I enjoyed her entrance in s1, which I rewatched just for this ranking. Her little car? The music? I love it! It sucks that she was absent for chunks of s1, but apparently the actress had personal issues, which is why she did not return for s2. Understandable. Long reign her entrance clip.

ESRA! I loved her! I’m so glad that after Imaan’s exit that they decided to cast another Muslim woman for Linn. I love her, I loved her relationship with Ralph and the other characters, and I have a feeling that Skam NL’s season 4 would have been about her. An Esra season would have been great because it would have given us an young adult main outside of high school, and probably further depth into the Esklid character. Again, pour one out for Skam NL :(

5. imane bakhellal - skam france

Imane seems cool. I haven’t watched much of Skam France outside of s3, parts of s6, and s7, which is currently airing. I’ve been wary to watch her season, because I’ve heard about her having to apologize to the GS, and things dealing with Ingrid and her brother... and Sofiane actually dating Manon???? Like, WHAT. IS. GOING. ON. Her Yousef seems cute but dumb. But otherwise, Assa is really pretty and really supportive of her fellow Sana counterparts on Insta, which has endeared her to me. And due to that fact, I will defend Imane to the ends of the earth, and I will watch her season eventually. I promise.

6. yasmina ait omar - wtfock

Yasmina is still a bit of a mystery to the audience, I think. But I do plan to watch her season, if only for Nora Dari, who is very pretty. Bel!Yousef, treat her right!

7. sana allegui - skam italia

No words needed.

[inmyarmswrappedin]

What do you feel about Kieu My actress' acting skills. I cannot decide weather it's her or the direction and writing that didn't do their best to extract a good performance from her overall. I did like her when she showed sad emotions though, but for the ice-queen or infatuated-with-Fatou part she simply wasn't convincing for me.

Fatou's actress is actually so good, I have a certain amount of anger towards the makers of s6 for not doing justice to her. Introverts and chilled out people can have intense moments that are in line with their personality (Matteo comes to mind, but that's mostly down to Michi's incredible screen presence.) I really liked that she was already out and her sexuality wasn't even that much of a topic, but overall the pacing and the pov were not very strong. The aspects where she felt dumb and was hard on herself were tugging at my heartstrings, but I like that they didn't completely tear her down and left her with some agency, I just wish it was clear on screen and not just in my mind. The Ava and Mailin story could've been left to Ava's season or done in a way where it doesn't overshadow Fatou. Or maybe it never did actually, but it was so widely discussed in fandom that it distracted us from the nothingness of the Fatou pov. I don't know I love the new gen, but they done fucked up with s6....

Also, I hear that they cut a lot of scenes... It was probably because even they couldn't make any sense of their own pacing and add to that some poor acting and directing choices that rendered those scenes unwatchable.

Hi anon! 👜 There’s a lot going on in your ask (which I love, I appreciate you guys sharing your thoughts), so I’m going to try and tackle each thing bit by bit.

1. Nhungi’s acting skills: It’s hard for me to judge acting in a language I’m not fluent in, unless I have another performance to compare it to (like for instance Axel Auriant and Philippine Stindel destroyed everything Tarjei Sandvik Moe and Lisa Teige did in s1) or it’s so bad that it transcends language, like so much of wtfock. Nhungi originated her role and I honestly think she did a fine job (but I find Sira to be superior personally). I felt like she nailed everything Kieu My was supposed to convey in every scene, and she added small, hard to notice tics like rubbing her fingers together, that were cool to catch on rewatch and realize there was more all along to her apparent ice queen persona. It’s that kind of small acting choices that make it so gratifying to rewatch a good Skam season.

2. I think it would be interesting to rewatch Fatou’s season without all the sm (I haven’t done that yet), because I didn’t think the pov wasn’t tight. Like, there was maybe one scene where I felt like Fatou was more of an observer than participant in the storyline, and that was the clip where Mailin apologizes to Ava (and Fatou). I think that clip could’ve worked a lot better if they made a stronger connection between Karin firing Fatou because she thought Fatou was a thief (rather than having dyscalculia) and Mailin becoming aware of that. I think that the pov maybe doesn’t feel as tight because there were many other storylines taking place over sm that grabbed our attention, which is why I think I want to binge the season and see. I do think the pacing in Druck could definitely be improved (their Friday clips can flop super hard), but that’s not exclusive to this season, I felt the same about some Friday clips in s5. 

3. I didn’t think the Ava/Mailin storyline overshadowed Fatou’s, but I do come from Skam España where every season had subplots having to do with the other girls. I remember that during Cris’ season, people were really mad because they felt like Nora and Alejandro were taking over the season in the way Noora and William did in Sana’s season in Skam. I think that Nora and Alejandro’s storyline in s2 had little to nothing to do with Cris’ storyline, and even in parts we stepped out of Cris’ POV to get some pomenora moments. Anyway, I think part of this idea comes from the fact that Isak’s season in Skam had a very tight POV because Jonas, Magnus and Mahdi were props to Isak’s story more than actual characters, the Magnus and Vilde stuff was really very minimal, and Julie Andem managed to make all of Noora’s woes relate to what Isak was going through. Whereas Nora, Ava and Mailin aren’t props, they are all mains or potential mains with their own storylines. (Just like Eva, Viri, Nora and Amira did in Cris’ season.) Anyway, I do think the Ava/Mailin storyline could’ve connected more explicitly to Fatou’s struggles at work, and I feel like maybe that would’ve alleviated some of the complaints. But I absolutely do not feel that storyline should’ve been saved for Ava’s season because that’s nonsensical. As a black lesbian, racism is as important a topic for Fatou as it is for Ava. And like, no one is arguing that Kieu My/Fatou shouldn’t have been set up in s5, and their story has even less to do with Nora’s struggles.

4. Jasmina Wesolowski’s messages re: the reasons why they cut a lot of scenes, have for me less to do with pacing reasons, and more to do with budget reasons. While ARD/ZDF/Funk has time and again acquiesced to the team’s suggestions, like when they pushed for David to be trans, and I imagine a lot of the decisions they made with new gen, it also feels like they’re less supportive financially when the stories cater to more “niche” populations (which is how they referred to David being trans). I think this is the reason some seasons are longer than others tbh. The budget isn’t there for certain seasons. I also completely understand why the team would want to push s5 and s6 out in short order, so they’d have more time to regroup, incorporate feedback and potentially have time for more than 2 additional seasons after renewal. But I can believe that the actors were tired because it’s the first acting job for most, and they didn’t have that much of a break in between. I would hope that, if and when they are renewed, there’s a bit of a longer break between seasons, so everyone is on top form for every subsequent season, and they don’t have to cut scenes for lack of money or time. 

[skamamoroma]

REWATCH: Skam Italia s4 - Episode 5

Ah the inevitable Episode 5...! Shit always goes south. It’s Skam! The fact that Sana can’t concentrate just after she has said to Malik that prayer, for her, provides focus. He is affecting that for her. It’s not his fault but to hear her dad so dismissive of Malik just adds to the pressure. It’s from every angle now and that text off Malik just confirms to her that she can’t. I like that she messaged him first and asked for him to respect her choices... but my heart breaks for her. That denial of her true feelings.

I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed Ele until she appeared on screen. FEMININE ALPHA. Edo, I miss him too! I love that Sana and Ele still have their chats and I think her lack of presence was felt because she is always slightly more on Sana’s wavelength, a little more mature than the others and I loved that she could give some advice from a distance. Sana immediately opened with “I’m bummed out” and opened up.

I LOVE that Sana got accepted after her exam. She’s so dedicated! 🔥🔥🔥

Her talk with Rami is just so precious. They care. The way Rami looks out for her and yeah he might be a bit of a douche sometimes with his jokes but he wants the best for her. The way he teases her but then tells her he wants to see her respected. He’s such a BROTHER and I don’t even have siblings but I know a good brother when I see one!

THE EIGHTIES STYLE DRESSING UP MONTAGE. How bloody cute! Sana is so adorable dancing in front of her mirror in her sparkly dress. She looks all lit up inside and has this new found positivity that maybe she can decide for herself and forge her own path. A little bit of hope after weeks of feeling down trodden... seeing her swirling so happily made my heart soar

And then the party happened 😂 genuinely don’t remember feeling THIS devestated in the original. The end of this episode made me cry.

I love that we get to see little moments this season of random dynamics like Gio, Sylvia, Elia and Sana having a chat about their band...! The fact Sana is so preoccupied with Rami, Elia is looking at her all weird because he likes her and all the while Luchi is going insane on a sofa 😂 this is why I love this show and Ludo’s influence. He keeps them all perfectly in character even in the background.

Can we take a moment and recognise Fede for how BEAUTIFUL she looked! Her space buns and sparkly jacket. Total babe! I love that they had their little chat and we got to see Sana wondering why Fede ever spoke to her. So interesting that we find out so much more later on.

I love that Ludo made all of these moments make much more sense than they ever did in the original. Malik thought that Sana was interested in Elia and after blocking him... no wonder he put two and two together! He looked like such a kicked puppy though 🥺

Whoever decided to have a SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW remix playing is my new hero. Cheesy and genius.

The biggest elephant in the room is Marti and Nico and the total meltdown. I’ve already made posts on this but Marti is a complex soul. He isn’t all sweetness and light but he’s also a LOT of that too. The end of s2 framed Nico as Marti’s family; that’s how he considers Nico. He walked away from his father’s home and chose his mamma, his friends and Nico as the family he wants and feels a part of. Being left behind is a major issue for him. We know how he feels about Nico and how much he loves him, how happy they are with each other but, above all, how comfortable. They always have been settled and just always sharing this connection that was there from the start. They were so open with each other at the end of s2 with so much and they created this real intention to be open and to take each day as it comes. But life doesn’t always work that way. Nico is someone who loves with his whole heart. He’s exceptionally sweet and adoring. He sees Marti with eyes so full of love for who Marti is and nothing else. He feels listened to, cared for and told Marti he fell in love and has never felt that way before. He’s also vulnerable and has been mistreated in the past by those professing to love him. He has been spoken for, dismissed and has felt trapped. The whole Last Man metaphor was even an escape for him and he took Marti with him. Now? He has a secret he doesn’t want Marti to know about because he didn’t want anything bad to come of it and worried it would cause issues. I think Nico worries about losing Marti quite a bit. The presence of Luai is a reminder of his past that wasn’t too positive, a reminder of who he used to be but ALSO of what he has. He has Marti but all of the things that came with meeting Marti like the boys, the whole group of friends who love him too. He risks losing it all because he lied. I understand him. It’s up to Nico to decide when to share his past. It doesn’t mean he can switch off the way he cares for people though and when Luai saw him, that could never be mistaken. Nico clearly hasn’t seen him since and I don’t think anyone could blame Nico for being stunned.

But Marti doesn’t know a thing. He knows Nico is keeping something from him and he sees Nico staring at another guy who is handsome... and then he walks away from Marti. Now, Marti is not a rational soul at times. I wouldn’t have presumed he’d react so quickly but I think it’s much more telling the way it evolves here that there’s something much more focused on Nico and Luai than there was with Even and Mikael. In the og it was more about Even’s attempt at his life. Here, it’s more about a previous relationship and it’s framed that way so Marti feels threatened. It kills me because just mere seconds before they’re dancing and smiling and Marti even agrees to stay on a dance floor for Nico. They kiss so close and cuddly and Nico looks so so happy, grinning like a fool at Marti’s smiles and his dorky dancing.

I just think it triggered this fight or flight response in Marti. To consider even for a second losing Nico is just something fundamentally not ok for him. Marti is also someone who acts before he thinks - we’ve seen this before multiple times. He also has a temper and when he feels cornered, he lashes out. Marti is obviously an idiot here. His actions can never be excused because he doesn’t ask, he acts and every moment of it is out of fear of loss it seems. That intense worry that Nico is becoming distant, is lying to him and could have something with someone else... Nico’s actions in the past are always going to have to come to light and the fact that Marti clearly has that one worry left just kills me. They’re so great for each other but they’re also both so complex and difficult and also both full of contradictions and struggles. Neither of them are perfect but when they’re together things are just so settled and calm...

Watching Sana run to them and seeing the two parts of her life colliding like that is painful. She loves both. So much. The way she touches Marti’s face 😭. All around Marti, as expected, are his boys and CHRIST Elia is scary when he wants to be! Gio being there OBVIOUSLY right beside Marti. Nico trying to stop it all and still focusing on Marti even though he was a total IDIOT. For Nico, that all must have been so painful. But he’s still there checking Marti is ok. MARTINO RAMETTA. I just wanted to shake him. I love him so so much but in that moment, even Gio’s words were filled with “come on, you idiot, what the fuck are you doing, I don’t understand you”. I also love that La Rosa squad were so protective of their Luai. They are good boys.

For me, I cried for Sana. The way she burrowed her way into the middle of that scary fight when she’s pretty tiny in height and screamed for them to stop. She sounded strangled and afraid and then when she was left alone with blood on her hands and she couldn’t breathe for crying... it hurt. It’s the fact that she was left alone. Then to go back inside to be trapped in a toilet with sounds of betrayal coming through the walls and to see the boy that makes her smile kissing someone else... the pretty Italian NON MUSLIM girl just like her worries. My heart broke for her and I just felt desperately sad. Ludo managed to make me feel so connected with her and here I was a little unsure if I would have that because I didn’t connect to Sana as much early on. Now? I hold her so dear. I was even ok with seeing Marti and Nico and Gio and everyone walk away because I was focused on her being ok!

I love that from this point, things change quite massively from the original! Up to episode 5 things were kind of mapping the og but Epiaode 5 was a total game changer.

[engelkeijsers]

Hey please don't drown yourself, I'm here to help keep you occupied! I love rankings so please rank your top 10 scenes in the whole skamverse! 😊❤️

tw: suicide mention;

i was so confused when i read "don't drown yourself", cause i totally didn't connect the dots and wondered for a hot minute where did you get that idea from. then i read the tags from my previous posts again and i noticed i said "i'm gonna be downing myself again" or something like that, so you just misread baby ❤ don't worry, i'm not suicidal or anything (i mean, i have the toughts but i don't think i could actually do it and even if so, it definitely wouldn't be by drowning myself). but thank you so much, it's really nice to know that someone actually cares, i love you 🥺🥰 and by downing myself i meant like lying in my bed for a few days and just crying and sleeping, so like nothing very serious really

ranking;

at the start i just want to say that this was one of the hardest things i did lately (it took me about an hour (and another hour to write it all down in here) lmao talk about devotion to a show). i decided not to include españa, since i still haven't finished and felt like it would be unfair to include it until i do :/

(but if i did include it, in the ranking there would be also clips like: when nora cheered eva after she broke up with jorge, lucas spotting cris kissing joana on her party and going 👁👄👁 while cris is just like 🥰🤷, cris coming out to amira and the "photo", the girls being there for eva after the meme shit started happening and cris being ready to FIGHT after she found out it was viri who took the picture) 👀👀

my top 10 skamverse scenes:

1) evak's first kiss; the most iconic thing to ever happen, the absolute blueprint of every other s3 remake made. i've watched this scene a lot of times and i still go 😮😪 every time i rewatch it. the power that that has-

2) hotel clips in wtfock's season 3; no, i'm not talking about the shower scene. i'm talking about what happened after that. i know they're actually like two (or even three) seperate clips, but they carry the same thing so i decided to get them together for this ranking. i appreciate henrik and his acting in the og really much, but willem ds absolutely killed it. the first time i watched these scenes i was like holy shit the whole time, cause he was just incredible. the eye movements, the lip trembling, the feeling of wanting to escape your own body; he nailed it all

3) wtfock's o helga natt and minute by minute scene; i love how they decided to mix these two clips from the og and make it one. the whole scene was just amazing; the music, the acting, everything about it. not gonna lie, i sobbed the whole time

4) evak's parallel universes talk; again, the og took something as simple as a talk between two people in love, just speaking what they're thinking at the moment and made it so iconic, intimate and fragile. the way they joked a little and kissed, being all goofy with each other and then with the time, the scene became more and more serious. i love it with my whole heart, so great

5) ralph opening liv's laptop and seeing the "was i drugged" page; spectacular, show stopping, amazing, wonderful- that's all i can say. this clip just got me by my guts and decided to never let go. before i watched the season i told myself i wouldn't cry, not this time (while watching a noora's season i always break at some point and i decided not today satan). well, it was going well, really well actually. and i didn't cry. well, not until this clip came. it was just perfect; the acting from both of them was really really great, the whole thing was just wow

6) martino's coming out to gio; i have no idea how many times i actually watched this clip, but it's definitely a lot. i love the whole thing; martino waiting until elia and luca left gio alone, martino coming up to gio and asking what he was doing later and if he wanted to come to his place and hang out, them playing fifa, giovanni knowing something was up and waiting patiently until marti was ready to share, non è una ragazza, gio goofing around asking if it's him and letting martino know it's all okay, him pausing the game and immediately knowing who martino was talking about... i am soft and crying, your honor. "it's the guy that gave you my headphones at the gym" it wasn't a question, he knew it was the guy. then after martino explained the whole thing, gio grabbing him by the neck as always and that way letting him know they can be physical with each other just like before and him being gay doesn't change anything. i'm getting tears in my eyes just by thinking about this scene, it's just perfect

7) the bench talk & share the love clip; yes, another skam italia one. ones, actually. i tried to pick one, i really did, but i just couldn't. they are both amazing (in different ways) and both deserve this place in the ranking

8) eva's break up speach in the og; do i even have to say anything? she was amazing and i was so proud of her at that moment. you go queen, i'm by your side

9) zoë telling the girls what has happened between her and senne's brother; from all the remakes i watched, this one grabbed my heart the most. i loved how all the girls had different reactions; yasmina was furious, clenching her fists and that "if he did anything to you, i swear-", jana being just genuinely sad and crying for her... i admit, i cried with her

10) the spectrum clip in skam italia; if you don't get which one it was – it was the one in which ele asked edo to stay and say they were made for each other (or something like that, i don't remember the exact words) and him just leaving her there (and eventually coming back). the music did a lot, but giancarlo and benedetta's acting bought me completely there. i cry every time i watch it

i've made also a list if honorable mentions for myself (so i wouldn't feel bad about the clips i left out frim here lmao), but you asked about the top 10, so here it is! thank you again for the question ❤

[alexiaugustin]

Since I seem to be in a really positive mood today and even though this show clearly doesn't deserve this post here's my list of favorite skam france s6 clips:

Samedi 07:52 The day after ep1: I really really loved the first clip of the season a lot more than the trailer and I think that it was such a great introduction to Lola's pov. We really saw the world through her eyes in such a special way in that moment n I loved all the hints to the plot (same sex couple walking down the street and being viewed as completely normal> w|w storyline with no internalized homophobia; the raccon tag > foreshadowing for otteli and urbex plot; lola photographing broken things > insight into lola's feelings) The cinematography and use of pov was a masterpiece in this one.

Lundi 7:43 Tiff ep1: This one is just here for the grew being the most supportive and loving friend group, skipping classes together to take care of Daphné and that group hug <33 need I say more?? No. Every clip with the grew is gonna be on this list because the little screen time they had this season needs to be honoured. I'm sorry that they did you so dirty babes:((

Mercredi 13:03 Fuck the planet ep1: my absolute favorite mayla clip this season!! one of my absolute favorite clips in general!! I still remember the day when they dropped that clip and I got so excited for this season again. Maya being a climate activist and such a warm and lovely person I immediately fell in love with her. Maya looking at Lola as if she's a princess walking down the stairs to a ball in some fairy tale. Maya not letting Lola's cold remarks throw her off n replying with equal sass instead, Maya's iconic coming out line and Lola smiling for the first time all season!! That clip was really off the charts

Vendredi 16:43 Someone exceptional ep1: This is my absolute favorite clip of the whole season and the amount of times I've rewatched this is actually unhealthy. Something just clicked and for the first time I felt really connected with Lola and felt and understood her pain (probs to Flavie she was amazing here) I loved the lil details abt this clip: Lucas playing the piano, le grew all hugging Daphné, Daphné's speech and break down (lula was amazing here too I really really felt connected to Daphné in that moment), Eliott and Lola meeting for the first time (their best clip this season, gosh the potential they had to actually develop such a cool and beautiful sibling relationship with them and then they did.... whatever the rest of their storyline was), Lola trying so hard to read Daphné's speech and then holding her own instead because she so desperately needs to get this off her chest and make ppl understand her and last but not least the cinematic shots of her running out of the church and breaking down. Truly my favorite clip.

Mercredi 12:56 You don't know me ep2: my second favorite mayla clip and hell did I love their dynamic and chemistry in this one. The community service clips were so so special and gave them such unique vibes I'm so sad that the rest of their storyline really couldn't live up to that because the beginning really was breathtaking and I was so here for their storyline and really believed that I would get the w|w rep I deserve this season. Rip

Jeudi 19:33 Sorry ep2: Daphné and Lola finally warming up to eachother, both of them apologizing, Lola saying that she can make dinner and they can watch one of Daphné's favorite tv shows together. Baby steps. Also Daphné grieving and smelling her mother's shirt to find comfort. Such an important clip!!

Vendredi 22:22 Otteli ep2: Again the opening shots and cinematography of this clip!! Lola meeting la mif for the first time and I was completely buying their found family dynamic from the start, maya and lola being 👀 the entire time and last but not least Eliott being introduced as urbex legend n royalty,, the wasted potential of that storyline tho...

Samedi 6:43 An awesome party ep3: again maya's and lola's chemistry in this one and their first real and deep conversation, maya opening up about her parents and how she found a home and family in la mif, their smiles and laughs and lola replying to Daphné's text messages because that's growth baby!

Lundi 7:53 The slap ep3: again just here for le grew, the way they all pulled daphné in for a group hug I'm cryinnn. Also Lucas telling the people who were gossiping abt Lola to turn around and mind their own business, dare I say iconic. the way we could have had it all this season and then skamfr decided to make them enemies. Hate it here

Samedi 13:18 Hangover ep4: this clip being a parallel to the beginning of ep2, we all believed that Lola went out and slept with another stranger and would feel lost and overwhelmed again and then! we and she found out that she's at maya's n instead of being lost again she completely openes up to Maya abt her life and Maya just holds her and Lola clings onto her as if her life depends on it and finds comfort in Maya. Still crying about this one

Mardi 21:43 You want to talk about it? ep4: I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I've rewatched this clip countless of times simply because seeing Eliott so happy and excited at his workplace has me feeling some type of way. I liked his and Lola's general dynamic in this one my main problem is just that it was so damn underdeveloped and came out of nowhere. Skam france you're a transmedia show text messages would have really helped you bby!!

Samedi 14:23 Luquette ep5: ohh out of all the clips with Eliott in it this one's definitely my favorite (and also one of the only ones I liked) both Eliott and Lola getting to speak for themself abt their mental health, seeing Eliott's development going from being ashamed and hiding his mental illness to now being so open about it and giving others advice, them talking about Eliott's Lucas and Lola's Luquette (🥺) Eliott being ready to run from Daphné with Lola and Lola saying that she's gonna take responsibility and Eliott looking like a proud big brother > the only clip with sibling vibes of them this season

Samedi 17:36 Just a girl ep5: Daphné and Lola reconciling, Daphné wanting to buy Lola picture frames and not letting that go even tho they have so little money and she sorts other stuff out instead. Please their sister bond this season has my heart. And also Maya and Lola at that supermarket gay panic energy at its finest. I loved that clip and that even after what happened last Friday Maya is still such a warm and loving person in that clip. Ugh why did they had to ruin her character later that season??☹

Mercredi 18:49 I miss you ep5: in case y'all are wondering if I'm just gonna put every single mayla clip on that list- don't worry this one is gonna be the last in a while. Anyway back to the good old days lamifex hanging all out together and being literal children together <33 mayla finally getting to talk and Maya explaining herself, showing Lola her scars and telling her that she misses her when she's not around. My heart combusted watching that clip

Lundi 12:35 We are even ep6: le grew studying together!! especially lucas and imane!!!! screaming. the only time we ever got to see them preparing for the bac but at least we have this one clip. Basile and Lola sibling dynamic and also the clip confirming that Daphné indeed has an eating disorder and Lola beginning to be really worried about her

Mercredi 18:27 I don't know what you're looking for ep6: Lola finding out about Daphné's eating disorder and finding proof in her room, Daphné freaking out and the last shots of her trying so hard not to fall apart, lula's acting in this scene!! It was all so realistic it truly is one of the top ten clips too

Jeudi 21:53 It won't always work ep6: Daphné and Lola talking and Lola opening up abt her addiction problems and telling Daphné that she can really really understand her and that both of them can get better again, Lola and Daphné being completely at peace and cuddling on the couch and watching tv together. One of my favorite clips of them this season I just love their sister bond so much

Mercredi 16:52 The break up ep7: both Lula's and Paul's acting was incredibly I was 100% buying that break up, Basile desperately wanting to help Daphné but not really knowing how, Daphné throwing him out and immediately having a break down, feeling so helpless and lost :'(( also Lola seeing her sister breaking down and not knowing how to help her either broke my heart. Protect the Lecomte sisters at all costs

Dimanche 18:32 Freesias ep8: for me this one was the true full cycle moment this season. The Lecomte family visiting their mum on mother's day, Lola revealing that she does know her favorite flowers and that her mum used to sent them to her along with letters she never read, Lola saying that if she could she might read them now but it's too late for that and in some kind of way she was making peace with her mum and everything that happened between them. Daphné taking the umbrella so Thierry can pull Lola close and them just standing in the rain and healing n growing as a family!! This clip was so emotional and important and skamfr had the audacity to destroy all that development with Thierry for useless drama. I'm endlessly bitter

Mardi 18:03 Vital prognosis ep8: just daphné, basile, lola and maya being a happy lil family together. This clip was so peaceful and beautiful to watch every time ep9 ruined my mood I went back to this clip to cheer myself up again. Really wish we could have seen more of them together and maya and lola as a couple

Vendredi 23:04 Emergency ep10: okay so I really didn't like that skamfr switched povs to build up suspense and was actually just triggering for many of us. But I just wanna say Lula's acting!!! The way she said "But how do you know we're going to find her, Lucas? Putain! She has never left a note before this is the first time for all we know" truly her acting!! I rewatched that clip so many times for that line alone (until I realized that the storyline was actually really triggering for me so I haven't watched the clip ever since but still)

Samedi 01:06 Sisters ep10: still hate the storyline and that it was done in episode 10 but I'm sooo glad that Daphné went to talk to Lola alone, that Daphné tells her that she's always loved her and basically everything they said in that clip!! Really moving and emotional one of the only clips that really made me cry this season. Again I live for Flavie's and Lula's acting

Mercredi 16:38 Beep beep beep ep10: even tho the mayla storyline was in context of the season really lacking depth at this point, watching this clip ignoring the context really was a cultural reset. One thing I love abt skam france is just that they let lgbt people live their lives without having homophobia being thrown at them left and right so kissing your gf in the middle of the supermarket like that might not be realistic but I don't care!!!!! let the gays live their life and kiss in the supermarket!!! thanks!! also that song especially the lyrics "darling I won't let you go" thoughts are being thunk💌

And yeah basically that's it. As yall may notice I loved the first half of the season way more than the second half and I feel like there was so much wasted potential and important storylines left unaddressed because they wanted to throw in more drama....

[sisoyyoalgunproblema]

Okay, so I’ve never written fanfic for Skam, not skam españa not the OG Skam, it’s just been something I’ve never actually done, there’s a lot of really great fanfiction out there already about the Skam Univers and I never thought I had anything to contribute, but I decided to do it for Eva’s appreciation week because she’s probably my favourite character and I really needed to think about how she dealt with quarantine.

Know that English is not my first language, but I think I’ve managed just fine. 

Eva was mindlessly watching Física o Química on TV as she scrolled through insta. Nora had finally admitted that she’d never watched the show and they’d decided to introduce her to El Zurbarán as a way to get through quarantine, so her best friends’ faces were watching the show, concentrated on her computer screen. 

Eva smiled to herself, those girls were the only reason she hadn’t lost her mind yet. She wasn’t stupid, she knew Cris didn’t like watching TV, Amira didn’t think the show was all that good and Nora hadn’t been particularly interested on watching a TV show from the late 2000 about Spanish teens who had very questionable tastes on fashion, only Viri had been sincerely interested on rewatching it. But the show gave Eva a very comfortable feeling, a feeling that reassured her that everything was gonna be okay, she’d watched the show a few times so she knew what was about to happen and she needed to be certain of something at the moment, it didn’t matter what that was. 

The fact that those four amazing girls had decided to watch the show with her, that she could see Viri’s concentrated frown as she pretended to eat pop-corn, just to make her feel better. The fact that they were there for her even if they couldn’t actually be there physically made her feel so grateful and loved she didn’t really know how to handle it. 

But tonight not even Paula and Gorka fighting could get her mind off the fact that her mom wasn’t there, that her mom was working at the hospital, that she’d been working there non stop for weeks, in the first line of fire. One of the nurses who worked with her had died from COVID that same day and Eva couldn’t stop her mind from wondering if her mom was gonna be the next, she wasn’t young like before, she was quickly approaching her 60s and the virus was unpredictable and got scarier the older you got. Her mom kept reassuring her that she’d be alright, she followed protocol and was feeling just fine, even if a little bit tired, but Eva couldn’t help but follow her around like a lost puppy whenever she had a day off, making sure she didn’t cough, that her temperature was low, that she was still healthy, that she wouldn’t leave her. 

She asked her mom questions she hadn’t before, about her childhood, about her grandparents, about her high school years, she drank that information like it was water on the desert, determined to be with her mom, to learn about her, to share memories together so that, in case something happened, she wouldn’t be forgotten, so that she’d had more things to remember her by. She learned that her mom hadn’t really had a tight group of friends until collage, that she was extremely proud of Eva for fighting for her friendships, for letting them grow around her and become a part of herself, she learned that her mom saw more of what was going on than she let on and that she’d wished Eva had wanted to bring her problems to her so that, even if she couldn’t help her daughter, she could at least share her pain.

Eva told her things too, she told her about her fight with Inés and about Jorge and about Cristian, she asked her mom if someone could really get over their first love, if the longing ever stopped or if she was condemned to feel the butterflies in her stomach every time Jorge smiled at her, even when she wasn’t sure that he still felt them too, or that they’d make sense together after a year and a half apart. Her mom didn’t really speak, she just held her daughter and thanked the universe because, even if the pandemic was scary, even tough she was terrified of crossing the hospital’s doors every day, even if she was scared of bringing the virus home to Eva, even if she knew getting it herself was a very real possibility and that death was part of the illness, that whole situation had brought her daughter closer to her in a way she didn’t expect, and for that she was grateful.

 It was a very stupid think what made Eva cry, Inés had posted an Instagram story of her mom in the kitchen, laughing about some cooking mishaps. The jealousy ate her alive and then came the guilt. It was not Inés’ fault that her mom could work from home, that she didn’t have to worry about her health. But it was unfair and that unfairness broke her.

It had not been the first time she’d cried during quarantine, but it was the first time she’d done it in front of other people, it was not like Eva was someone who tried to hide her feelings, she resembled an open book way more than she did a stone, but she’d tried to put on a strong face for her mom, to keep strong, but she was alone in the house and it was unfair and it hurt, and the love those girls had for her felt like the safest place in the world, so she let herself go. 

As always, Nora was the first one to realize Eva had tears streaming down her face, the girl had tried to cry quietly, but Nora and Eva had something resembling a sixth sense when it came to each other, they were more in tune to one another than the other girls, Eva could sense when Nora was sad and vice versa. So that the words of warning came out of the american girl didn’t surprise anyone, nor did the fact that all four girls paused their TVs and focused on their friend immediately after.

“Eva, are you okay?” Viri’s words only made her cry harder.

“You know, whatever it is, that you can tell us.” Amira’s hand itched to grab Eva’s and she almost cursed from frustration.

“Is it Jorge?” They all laughed at Cris, she was very well intentioned, but maybe she wasn’t the most perceptive one out of all of them. “I don’t know why you laugh, the last time she cried was because of him.”

“That was over a year ago, Cris!” Amira said, eyes filled with laughter.

“My point still stands.”

“It’s your mom, right?” Eva looked at Viri through their computer screens and nodded. Viri understood better than any of the other girls, her mom was mopping floors at some hospital at the moment. “They’ll be alright, you know? I’m sure of it.”

“I’m just grateful that I have you girls, I don’t know what I’d do without you. My mind would take me to some very scary places and I don’t want that.”

“We’ll be here, whatever happens.” Nora reassured her, big blue sympathetic eyes looking at her through the screen.

“But I’m sure nothing will.” Viri’s strength and determination made Eva smile. God, she really had the best friends in the world.

“I’m just scared. People are dying and my mom is right there, in the middle of it all, I know that even if she gets the virus it’s probably gonna be something like a really bad flu, but I can’t keep from wondering what if it isn’t? What if it’s worse? What if I loose her?”

“You wont.” They all promised, even if none of them could really know it, they wanted it to be true so bad that Eva believed it and smiled drying the tears with her sweater.

“And if something bad happens, you’ll always have us. Forever.” Nora reassured her.

“I love you girls. I wish I could hug you.”

“I hate quarantine.”

“God, you should see Dani, he has practically built a gym on our living room, I barely have any space to study.”

“You never do anyway.”

“I would if I had space.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

Viri, Nora and Eva watched Amira and Cris bickering while they laughed at the whole situation. Nora winked at Eva and she blew her a kiss.

“I really do love you, you know?” Eva said, for some reason, that day it felt very important for them to know.

“Yes we do.”

“We love you, too. When all of this is over we’ll celebrate. My rooftop is gonna be the heart of the summer.”

“Yeah, because Mallorca...”

“Don’t remind me, Nora, please.”

“What are we gonna do with the money?”

Eva mainly listened to their friends talk, the TV show forgotten on the background, she was emotionally exhausted, but her friends had a very strange way of making her feel everything was gonna be alright, and she felt lucky to have them by her side as she went through the most terrifying months of her life. She loved them, as simple as that.  

[toddandersvn]

wuh oh i’m being a nerd on main again!

it’s well known that besse is a master of his art and sana’s trailer showed to be no different. I was left baffled and fascinated by it, so i analyzed the skamit season 4 trailer almost frame by frame and here is what i came up with (also i guess this is my entry for @skamitaliafandomevents week two day one: predictions a very late entry please forgive me i rly wanted to do this before the season started) 

also i just enjoy doing these i’m not a film student so i might be completely wrong so if you want to correct me or add anything please do:))

everything is under the cut... enter at your own risk;)

In this scene we can see a green backlit Sana on a phone call saying that she is italian as well. Green can be used to symbolize envy and/or jealousy, which in this case could be interpreted as Sana’s wish to be considered italian, and her “jealousy” of whoever is on the other side of that phone call for fitting in. Jealousy is in quotes because the backlighting can also suggest that it’s in the back of her head, not really apparent to others and even maybe to her. Green also has a history of being used to represent evil in Disney villains (evil step-mother’s eyes in Cinderella, Scar’s cove in Lion King, Dr. Facilier’s spirits in The Princess and The Frog and many more). If we take this scene from the point of view of the other person of the phone call, Sana could be seen as a villain due to stereotypes against muslims and the anger in Sana’s voice.

In the trailer, this scene was cut in two (well three, but one doesn’t really matter here), but if we watch the trailer in .25x speed like a maniac you can see that they probably fit together. In the first shot we see a blue backlit Sana hiding in a bathroom praying. Blue is usually used to show sadness and pensiveness, and as i said above, the backlit can represent the back of her mind, or her neglecting it, hiding how she truly feels. Knowing the background/back story for this clip, which i can only imagine is the clip at the end of the first episode, she is hiding from everyone at the party to prey, and this physical hiding can be used to emphasize emotional hiding.

The next moment in that clip is the camera panning from the blue backlit scene to an orange frontlit scene, which emphasizes contrast as orange and blue are two complementary colours. Orange is used to show interest and optimism, which can be how she feels towards Malik, which leads me to think the shadow we see could be him. However, it can also symbolize vigilance, which can also be her feelings towards the couple making out and bursting in, if besse follows the original storyline.

Sana is looking longingly at Malik surrounded by grass, which is a lighter, warm green that can represent admiration, trust and acceptance. She is staring at him from a distance, which is a very passive way of acting, staying in the shadows, in her black outfit which is a symbol for modesty in islam, basically she is keeping her feelings for herself. Another colour important in islam and relevant to his scene as well is green. Green in islam symbolizes paradise, which Malik just so happens to be surrounded by…. i see you Sana, i do, you can’t fool me

Le matte are by the canal trying to cheer Sana up, in a very cool toned scene. Cool tones can represent sadness and or detachment, which Sana is probably feeling at this point towards the girl squad or herself, given that they are trying to cheer Sana up. Them comforting with a rather cool toned scene can indicate this scene is either pre-falling out or a reconciliation scene.

What stood up for me in the trailer is the drastic contrast between when Sana is alone or with Malik with very warm and loving tones, and when she is with the girl squad with rather cool tones. This reinforces and supports Sana’s feelings of feeling like she doesn’t belong, or has to tone down who she is in order to be friends with them.

This scene is airy and light, which represents pure and heartfelt feelings and peace. Both characters are smiling at each other, which only emphasizes these assumptions. The next shot is in the kitchen that can imply domesticity and comfort, as well as the blue tones from the hijab and walls that represent pensiveness and shyness. It passes the vibe check.

In this scene Sana is wearing a warm yellow hijab that can represent serenity and joy. This particularly stands out from the black one we are used to see her wear and have seen her wear around Malik earlier. She is in a greenhouse surrounded by nature, the green of admiration and growth but also the green of paradise. She is also surrounded by windows that can indicate she has moved to an active way of acting, instead of staring from a distance. This assumption is supported by her waving at Malik through the window. She is letting herself go through the mortifying ordeal of being known, which is a huge change from her usual secretive self and first few dark shots of the trailer.

Here Besse used a wide angle lens most likely to show the surroundings, or lackthereof, of the two characters. Both of them are alone and isolated together. At this moment in time, there are no outside factors matter, it is just them and their thoughts. i imagine this is the scene when malik tells Sana about the nico x mikael kiss, which is a very pivotal chapter point in the season and it is important to show them alone and Sana having to “reset” her thoughts.

Again, they are surrounded by green/lime: trust and acceptance, which links to the talk they are having with malik choosing accpetance> religion and stopping believing in Allah.

When her and her friends are sitting on the couch, they are mostly dressed in blue, all looking awkward/embarrassed. It is possible that it is sadness/grief from them having to share the house in Mykonos, as the audio over that scene suggests, but then again it could also just be from the two characters we can see on the mirror kissing. I’m obsessed and i watched and rewatched and i’m almost 100% sure the girl is Covitti, which by elimination process lets me think the guy is Canecoso, which justifies the awkwardness on Eva and Silvia’s face.

When Sana is on her bed calling Ele, she is leaning against her green wall, but looking towards a warm orange light. This can be seen as many things related to her finally accepting her feelings for malik. She can move from the shadows to the light (from staring longingly to actually talking to him), moving from a passive to an active way of acting (like going to see him with her yellow hijab) and lastly moving from green jealousy to orange happiness. All of these clues lead me to think this clip happens before the greenhouse house clip. POETIC F*CKING CINEMA I COULD COLLAPSE

I’m assuming this is the karaoke equivalent party, because of the way it is lit. If it is, it would be the party where both of Sana’s worlds (her brother & friends and her school friends) meet. We can see some scenes of clashing in the trailer, however having the scene lit up with red and green, two complementary (opposite on the colour wheel) colours, it prepares the audience  for a contrast. It can be a contrast of feelings, but in this case i’m lead to think it’s of background, and probably ideas as well, if it follows the OG. A justification of the use of green and red could be the feelings associated with each colour, like red with anger/annoyance and red with surprise. I won’t spoon feed you and tell you why but you get it.

In this scene, we see Sana and Malik in a street with a lit up red cross in the background. It can be seen as reference to Romeo + Juliet by Baz Luhrmann, but also as a reference to the OG with the OHN. In the OG, isak is running away from a blue cross, running away from the sadness he’d been feeling for the past days and weeks, which is a contrast both in colour, direction and pace to Sana walking with Malik towards a red cross, walking towards romance.  It is for that reason i think this will be their date scene towards the end of the season. Also, they are walking and not running which can symbolize them taking it slow, and deciding to be friends again before anything else. It looks like the cross is also moving towards them as well, which can symbolize a middle ground/finding a balance between her religion and her country’s religion. Besse you magnificent bastard i love you, vibe check passed.

Sana is submerging herself in a pool, with oddly very blue water. This oddly blue water matching her burking makes the colour stand out and can highlight its importance in the scene. Blue can symbolize shyness, it can symbolize peace, stability, and tranquility, depending on the shade and hue, but in this case this turquoise signifies the latter. She is letting herself float in it, bathing and soaking it in, and her face is at peace, which only strengthens my assumptions that this clip happens towards the end once everything is almost resolved.

And that’s all i came up with. I also think that the beach clips will be the last episode and they will all be from different povs, but that’s just wishful thinking at this point i’m sure. These are all obviously theories, however i think it is fascinating how Besse chose so many different colours as well as different way of lighting the scene to convey Sana’s emotions and feelings at different moments of the seasons. I am probably a clown about most of it but that’s just part of the skam experience, but either way i am very hyped to see the master at it again!

i’m repeating it here again, but if you have things to add or further questions please let me know i’d be more than happy to read what you have to say!🌻 that’s all have a great day:))

[gleedegrassi-bigfan]

Druck (Re)watch Thoughts

Hi! I’m back not with a full-fledged meta, but with a dozen or so mini metas!

I am one of those people who only starting watching Druck during season three. I keep my eyes and ears open to all the Skam remakes, but only settle in to watch them when something sparks me to watch. After a few clips of Druck season three and learning that the Even character might be trans, I started watching like Druck religiously. I watched all the way through and then watched the Abiball Special only seen a few clips and gif sets from seasons one and two. I decided that this hiatus before Amira’s season would be the perfect time to go back to the beginning! So, thanks to drucktranslations.de, I did! I watched season one and two for the first time, and then rewatched season three and the Abiball special. I really enjoyed the whole series and had so many thoughts. I wanted to write them down, mostly for me, but I figured I might as well share them with you guys. If anyone wants to discuss anything I talk about in this post, I’m always up for a conversation! 

I added in some pictures to break up the text and don’t feel like you have to read every single section if you don’t want to because they are mostly independently crafted. As always, I am an American university student with dyslexia, so please mind any errors! I hope you enjoy!

Season One

I have watched a few of these Eva seasons, and this was the first time I actually felt sad when they broke up. This was the first time I really got invested in the love and connection between the Eva and the Jonas. All the other versions were great, sure, but to me, there is something special about the way Hanna and Jonas interact. It just seemed more believable to me, more organic, and they seemed more connected. I really understand why everyone has been rooting for them to get back together, and why everyone is so frustrated that Druck hasn’t done that yet. Here is hoping because Hanna and Jonas really do deserve to be happy together!

I really only have one specific thing to comment on from season one. That Bay of Pigs scene was amazing! I am a huge fan of symbolism (as you know if you have ever read my posts) and that scene was just dripping with it! Having the student presentation about the Bay of Pigs in the background was just genius. All season Hanna and Jonas are in a Cold War of sorts— things are bad and they are just waiting for something to set things off and send them into an irreversible downward spiral, something to make their Cold War hot. The Bay of Pigs was basically a time where the actually Cold War got close to becoming hot, but the crisis was avoided for the time being. The conflict where Hanna thinks Jonas is cheating on her with Leonie is just the same— it almost made their Cold War hot but in the end, the crisis was averted and it was something else that brought them down. It is just like the Bay of Pigs. Just A+ symbolism on Druck’s part. So great.

The Hanna/Matteo friendship is so sweet! I know Matteo is a snake and all that, but their friendship just seems really nice and genuine. Even though Hanna is annoyed by Matteo’s constant presence, it is also clear that she does value him and their friendship. I’m glad they continued to showcase their friendship in season 3, and that they moved up their conversation from episode 10 to episode 6.

I really don’t have that much to say about season 1, if I am being honest. On its own, it is a pretty straight forward season. When you start comparing it to later seasons and factoring season one things into things that happen later, it gets really interesting. But on its own? While great, there isn’t much to it. It definitely feels like that first season of a show, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Season one was made and aired so much earlier than the rest of the series, and it sort of shows. It has a slightly different feel, and while it certainly plants some seeds for later storylines and seasons, it does feel pretty isolated. Season 2, Season 3, the Abiball Special, and probably even the upcoming season 4, all seem so intertwined and connected because they were created and produced so close together. Season one is always going to be that older sibling that was born a few years before the parents starting cranking out kids. Those three or four kids will always be closer to each other than to their older sibling, but at the end of the day, they are all family. Does that metaphor make sense? I hope it does!  

Season Two

I’ve got to be honest and say I couldn’t make it through season 2 of the OG. (For the record, I also started with season 3 and went back to watched season one and two.) I watched all of Skam Austin season 2, but that was really just because I am a native Texan and characters like Shay and Jo make it worth the watch. I don’t love the concept of season 2 and it often makes me feel uncomfortable. It is very similar to a situation that I found myself in a few years ago that didn’t have a happy ending, so it the season is just sort of painful to watch. But, Druck season 2 was really good and, amazingly, I enjoyed watching it! Durck did a really good job of taking liberties and making changes that positively affected the feel of the season.

Giving Alex an actual storyline about his sister and his mental health was a brilliant move. It humanized his character and gave a depth and purpose to his actions. When Alex describes the awful year he had until Mia yelled at him in the schoolyard, man, it just made everything fall into place. All of a sudden I understood why Alex did the things he did to Kiki and why he is more than just his fuckboy attitude in a way that I was not expecting. I never thought I would grow to like and even respect Alex, and since I was able to grow to that point, I actually believe that Mia was also able to grow to that point.

My only qualm about the season was the sexual assault storyline. For most of the season, I didn’t think they would actually do it. It seemed like all the time that would have been allowed to that storyline was given to the story about Alex’s sister. It seemed like a replacement to me, like they had decided not to do a sexual assault story in favor of creating an original storyline that would do more for the character of Alex. But then at the very end they through it in, and it didn’t feel super genuine to me. I didn’t 100% believe that Mia would actually go and spend time with Bjorn. I know she was upset with Alex and didn’t really know the whole story about Alex’s sister, but it still seemed a little out of character for her to voluntarily spend the evening with him. I don’t know, it just didn’t make sense to me and I was unsure why Druck even included the storyline. It did result in seeing the girls be supportive, it was a breath of fresh air to see a Willhelm remake not run off immediately and I liked that they gave weight to this particular kind of sexual assault because it is often disregarded as not a big deal. But, all in all, the storyline didn’t add much in comparison to the what the other running storylines added. Maybe they had to include it because it was in the contract that they had to do a sexual assault storyline? As a writer, that is the only reason I can think of as to why they included it, but I don’t see much narrative reasoning.

Kiki was a big part of the season that I enjoyed. Seeing her in an actual relationship with Alex was an interesting choice that paid off well. It made her devastation and down spiral even more, gut-wrenching. When Kiki sobs and wails on New Year's Eve when he breaks up with her, my heart broke for Kiki. It was so hard to watch her pretend to be okay will suffering and struggling with her eating disorder. I am very glad that Mia tried so hard to be there for her, even while she was sort of stabbing her in the back. I am also glad that Kiki was able to hear the truth from Mia, instead of watching the truth play out in front of her and seeing Mia lie to her after that. Kiki got to take control of her situation in a way that felt original and powerful. This season made me actually want to see a Kiki season, which was something I really wasn’t interested in after watching only season three.

Mia’s bisexuality was puzzling to me. I always heard people talking about the fact that Mia was bi, and also saying that it felt like an afterthought without much gravitas. And, yeah, I sort of agree. It was odd to me how she was never at the helm of the conversations about her sexuality. She never really brought it up or talked about it, not the in the way that characters like Kiki or Alex did. She did mention the girl she had a thing with and she did kiss Hanna, but the later didn’t feel genuine at all. I wonder what it was like to actually be watching season one and two in real time. Was there a time after season one but before season two that people though Mia might actually be gay and wouldn’t be dating Alex? Or did we always know that the kiss was just an excuse from Mia, nothing more than that? I think that the way they dealt with Mia’s sexuality could have been better. But at the same time, I appreciate the way they made a character queer even when it didn’t affect the plot. Sometimes it feels like queer characters only exist to be in purely queer storylines, which is fine and good sometimes, like in season three, but it is also important to tell queer stories that are about more than just queer identity. Having a male/female romantic storyline featuring a bisexual woman and not letting her bisexuality keep her out of that relationship and her bisexuality not being emphasized is kind of cool, refreshing and maybe even productive. I still think they could have done better with Mia’s sexuality, but there is some merit to the choices that the Druck team made.

I went back to watch seasons one and two for a lot of reasons, but one of them was because I really wanted to get a good sense of the girl squads dynamics before watching season four. And let me just say, seasons one and two did not disappoint. From day one, the girl squad felt real, authentic and enjoyable. Watching the girls deal with being the security at the Heroes party was as fun as it was revealing. There are so many intreating dynamics in their little crew and I love it. In season two, we get even deeper into the groups love and affection for each other, as well as the complicated issues that have developed over their year of knowing it each other. I love seeing Amira and Mia each be the voices of reason in their own unique way. Sam is an amazing comedic relief, but she also has an important voice. She stands up for her right to do whatever she wants with her body and does not hesitate to stand up for Kiki while still being a good friend to Mia. Kiki is an endearing leader, and I loved seeing her go from frustrated at the low status of the crew to proud to love each girl like family. I can’t wait to see the crew from Amira’s POV next season, and see how the group continues to develop as a unit and as each girl continues growing as an individual.

Season Three

While season three was airing, I saw a lot of people upset at how little Winterberg there was in season three, and at the time I did not get it. It’s Matteo season, why should Mia and Alex be featured that much? And the Noora/Willhelm relationship doesn’t get that much more screen time/better treatment in OG, so I just didn’t get it. But after watching season 2, man, I get it. Alex and Mia are actually good together in a very endearing way, and do not see that come through at all during season three is very sad. Especially since Druck went out of their way to include Alex in Abi Chaker Family, and since Mia and Alex didn’t get together until literally the last moment of the season. There was very clearly more to their story—like all that stuff about London— happening in season three and it is a shame that we didn’t get to see more of it. At the end of the day, it is Matteo’s season, so I do understand the shift in focus, but I also don’t. In Mia’s season, we still got a whole lot of Hanna and Jonas, the focus of the previous season. We even get Jonas and Hanna in Matteo’s season! I guess the difference is that Mia and Matteo aren’t friends like Hanna and Mia are, which itself is a missed opportunity if you ask me.  Mia and Alex just aren’t as connected to the rest of the characters, I suppose, which I guess makes sense because Mia is new and Alex repeated his senior year. Whatever the reason for not seeing as much Winterberg as we should have, it really is a shame. Now I totally understand why people were upset, and I am 100% with you.

Before I get to Matteo, I want to talk about Hans for a second. I was so surprised at how much more mature he is in season three versus season two. I mean, obviously since I watched season three, I fell in love with Hans as the amazing, funny, sweet, wise “gay guru” first, so I knew he was capable of that. But in season two, he just seems so much more immature. It is always sleeping with some guy in a way that seems ridiculous, his little STD storyline was such a bother and he never seemed super helpful. But even though he is still sleeping around and being his same slightly silly and dramatic self in season three, we see him in a totally different way. He is so much more kind, helpful and knowledgeable. He doesn’t seem like a bother, but instead as an ideal type to strive to be and to have in your life. And that difference is really just because Matteo sees Hans in a totally different way. Even though Matteo doesn’t want to be like Hans (episode five speech…) he still does see him as this courageous, out and proud guy. Even if it subconscious and suppressed, there is this part of Matteo that really desires to be like that, and so he sees Hans in a more positive, mature light. Also, Hans holds a lot of knowledge that Matteo really needs. He is able to help him understand the concept of Pride, how to deal with dating a closeted guy, why it is important not to out people, and that being trans doesn’t change who David is or Matteo’s sexuality. Mia didn’t really need any of what Hans has to offer, so we didn’t see him like we see him in season three. I’ve seen lots of posts about how this concept of characters seeming different through different character’s eyes, but I’ve never seen one about Hans. I just think it is neat and very interesting to see the difference.

Okay on to Matteo, and one of the most controversial parts of the season. Maybe it is because I have coded Matteo’s lack of action and slow responding as a part of the autistic Matteo headcanon, but watching the season again really made me even more insistent that Matteo’s lack of action and slow responding is completely logical. I’ve talked about the post-coming out wait several times so I won’t go into it much here, but Matteo truly was just processing his emotions and trying to get himself together. When watching that week it real time, it felt like so much time that was so “do or die,” but in reality, it was just a few days out of countless days that Matteo and David will spend together that very clearly didn’t stop them from being happy in the end. Also, I think we too often forget that Matteo was really close to calling David in the Monday clip, but freaked out and decided not to. When it comes to the O Helga Night scenes, he is really worried about David, but what else he is supposed to do but call, text, and wait? He doesn’t even know if David is in Berlin or not. He has no idea where he might be, no clues, no communication from David, so how he is supposed to find him? He can’t just go wandering the streets of Berlin all night, it isn’t super safe and it wouldn’t make sense for his character. Also, he has just talked to Abdi about giving David the space that he is clearly craving. It isn’t like Matteo is just sitting them twiddling his thumbs. He calls and texts David, he checks in with Lauren he talks to his flatmates. He goes to the school for the PE exam. We don’t know where he was coming home from at the beginning of the “love” clip, but he might have been out looking for David. And when Matteo did gets the indication from David that he is in Berlin, the clue that he is at the pool, and it becomes clear is he desperately not okay/planning on leaving, then Matteo immediately seeks him out and finds him. All that matters, in the end, is that Matteo and David got to the point.

(I didn’t use a picture of the actual outing because I want to be respectful of many peoples total valid wishes to avoid that clip.) 

Another controversial topic is, of course, the outing in episode 8. I still don’t think that David getting outed to the whole school was 100% necessary. I think a version of the story without that painful, horrific event could have been just as good and powerful, perhaps in a slightly different way. I am not trans so I don’t want to overstep here, but I just want to say that watching the season in full a second time gave me a better understanding of why Druck choice to include an outing. I still don’t agree with the choice, but I feel like to understand it a little more. This season was about falling in love, yes, but it was also about friendship, building bridges and not being an island. I mean, the 21:21 clip was about friendship and he ends the season by saying “life is now with you guys,” for god sakes! Matteo had to go on that journey by coming out to his friends and family, by realizing that he doesn’t have to be alone and that he can lean on the people around him. David also had to go on that journey this season, so he had to do more than just come out to Matteo and learn to accept his love. In order to thematically match the season, David had to come out to more people and learn to be a part of the tight-knit loving community of characters that Druck has developed. Now, was forcefully outing David necessarily the best way to do that? No, probably not. Could the story have played out in a way that allowed David to decide to come out to everyone on his own terms? Yeah, probably. I don’t know, it is complicated. Maybe David never would have gotten to that place of being comfortable and confident to come out on this own terms within the time constants of the season? Maybe that is just out of character for him? But then that gets dangerously close to the whole being thankful for being outing narrative, which is pretty sick to me because outing is a terrible thing that no one should become complacent to. I don’t know, this is one of the most complicated and confusing parts of Druck as a whole, not just season three. I do love the seasons message of community, family, and friendship being just as important as romance, the message that authenticity and love are deeply valuable in all your relationship. But I just think we have sacrificed another important thing— queer autonomy— for it.

I have an odd relationship with episode 10. I love it, obviously. It is a beautiful episode and those are some of my favorite clips from the season, even the whole show. But at the same time, episode 10 feels so different from the first nine episodes of the season to me. Sometimes I watch that episode and I feel like I am watching a whole different show. The vibe is just different to me. And sometimes I don’t like that because it takes me out of the moment and it makes me think that the arc of the season could have been executed better. But, when I was rewatching the whole season, I didn’t feel this way. The episode still felt slightly disconnected from the rest of the season, but certainly not as much. It felt much more like the emotional cathartic reward that it was intended to be. It was so nice to see Matteo and David “finally happy” after nine episodes of soul-crushing angst with only a few happy moments scattered through. Season three is a great season in part because there are so many iconic moments that we all know so well and that can largely stand on their own in our little community of Druck fans. If you know the season well enough, you can watch any clip at any time and still enjoy it and get some of the intended emotional weight. But this is no substitute for watching the season in full. That will always be more powerful and it will always be the best way to experience Matteo’s story. It was such a journey to experience the season in full in a way I had never really done before.

Speaking of ways to experience the season, season three will always be different than season one and two for me simply because my initial experience was different. Watching a season clip by clip in real time is so, so different from just watching the episodes all in one or two sittings. The first way leaves so much room to breathe, freak out, speculate, wonder and theorize. You get to see the social media and the texts naturally, and you get to experience the show with the fandom. The best part for me, though, is that you get to weave the story into your own life. I will never forget being on the subway after the date clip in episode five, writing my reaction post. I will always remember being in my kitchen and jumping out of my chair when the full studio version of Take Me To Church played at the end of episode 9. I will never be able to separate David’s painful outing with the challenging family vacation that I was dealing with on that same that dreadful Friday. Those connections and memories, as well as the fandom experience, enrich the season in a very powerful way,  But there is also something to be said for watching the episodes after the fact. Hanna and Mia’s seasons feel much more cohesive to me than Matteo’s. Hanna and Mia’s stories were told to me in a few uncomplicated, uninterrupted sittings, and this makes the stories feel more put together and less all over the place. I will never know what it is like to experience those seasons in real time, and no matter how many times I rewatch season three in full, I will never truly know what it is like to experience Matteo’s season cohesively and fully. I wish I had those experience, but at the end of the day, I am happy with how I experience the seasons. Really, I am just glad to experience this amazing show. I keep saying experience, instead of watch because Skam/Druck really is an experience, and for me, it is one of the best experience I have had.

Abiball Special

I am so, so glad that Druck gave us this special!! It was great to see these characters finally finish school and graduate. It was rewarding the first time around, but it was even more meaningful to watch after seeing all the characters go from season one episode one, to graduating! But poor Carlos :(

It was nice to see Winterburg back on the screen like that, and I actually paid attention to that clip this time around. I barely even watched it the first time because I had no context for Winterburg and didn’t really care. But now I care, and after the drought in season three, it was so nice! It was still a little disconnected since we missed so much of the build-up to this clip, but it still felt nice to see them together on screen talking about the future, referencing hot cocoa and such!

The Davenzi clip was great!! I really don’t have much else to say. It was just as amazing the second time around. I summed up my thoughts in this post from the initial airing, and I still stand by it. But I will say that watching this clip back makes my heart scream “David Season 5!!” even louder than before!

But then the next clip makes me scream, “Kiki Season 5!!” I want to learn more about her family and her motivation and how she is dealing with her eating disposer now and what is up with Zoe and their mom and I would love to see more Kiki/Carlos. And then there is the argument for “Carlos Season 5!!” It would be neat to see his POV and see how he is doing post failing his Abi. Ahh, I am falling in love with the idea of seeing David, Kiki and Carlos’ stories all play out from their own eyes! And we don’t even know if there is going to be a season 5! This is so stressful!

Anyways, the saddest part of the Abiball special was definitely the stuff with Hanna, Jonas, and Stephen. Stephen’s existence made zero since the first time, but after watching Hanna and Jonas’ full story, it makes even less sense! They were so good together, even with all their problems and their very necessary break up. They just have something special and I want to see them happy together because I think it is very possible. They have stayed connected throughout the whole series, even beyond their own season. Druck has time and time again directed us to root for them and believe they will be getting back together. They were so close and connected during the last episode of season three! They were studying together in the Abi Ball Special! Where did Stephan even come from! It makes no sense! It also makes no sense to just introduce a new love interest for one of the main characters, and have them get together completely off screen during a hiatus. If Stephan had come around during season three, and we saw more build up, I would at least be okay with the storytelling aspect of this. But right now the way Druck is telling this story is so illogical and seems shoehorned in for some future purpose. I totally get planting seeds for future storylines but it has to feel natural and this doesn’t. Druck has shown us that they know how to plant the seeds naturally through the first three seasons, so it is disappointing to see how they are handling this. I keep reminding myself that they probably wrote season three before they knew they were renewed for season three, so they didn’t know to include Stephan earlier. But still! They could ahem done this better! Hopefully, Stephan’s role in season 4 will make it all worth it, but I am dubious. I just want to see Hanna and Jonas happy and together by the end of the series…is that too much to ask?

And of course, watching the Abiball Special again made my excitement for season 4 increase by 200%! I was already so excited to see Amira be the queen of season 4, but now that I have seen Amira’s whole journey so far and we have met her brothers and Mohammad, I am so beyond pumped for season 4! July 20 here we come!

[wexregolden]

Read it on A03 here <3

THE BOY WHO LOVED Ch. 15

-Nicolas Flamel Niccolò Fares-

-----

It was a nice Sunday afternoon. Well, it would be one. Marti hanging out at Gio`s place, the actual purpose being studying for an upcoming exam next week. Just that they barely got some studying done till yet, eating some pizza and playing a few rounds of FIFA. So it would have been nice.

Would. If there wouldn´t have been the memories of Nico, him and Nico together, broken because of the discovery of Niccolò having a girlfriend. That nothing they shared, nothing that had felt so special to Martino, was real in the first place. And that knowledge broke Marti on the inside, his heart, making him feel miserable.

He looked over to Gio who sat next to him on the couch, finding him already looking at him. The game paused.

“Marti,” he simply said, raising his eyebrows at his best friend.

“Gio?”

“Talk to me,” Gio responded with emphasis in his voice.

Marti was about to say something, asking Gio what he meant, about to try to deny everything Gio might say now. But his best friend was faster than him.

“And don´t try to deny anything or to find an excuse. You´re my best friend, Marti, I see that something is off.”

“Nothing is off, Gio!”

“Martino,” Giovanni said in a warning voice, “the last time I saw you, at the Halloween party, you were the happiest and in such an euphoric mood. And now it just seems as if something happened, something bad, and as if the whole world was crushing. Talk to me, Marti! I will listen, whatever you have to tell about whatever makes you sad. Marti, you´re my best friend and you´re so important to me. I just want you to be happy and to have the best life possible.”

Marti had to swallow, listening to his best friend´s words made him shiver. And suddenly he didn´t feel afraid anymore, at least not as much as he used to. And suddenly he just went for it.

“I fell in love.”

“What? But Marti that´s fantastic! Who is she? The person, I mean,” he corrected himself before he continued, “is it the person you´re always texting with? The one that makes you smile like an idiot? That makes you so happy?”

Marti smiled slightly, a bit of self-pity in his smile, thinking back to all the text conversations he had with Niccolò, how happy it had actually made him.

And that it´s over now.

He looked over to Gio who looked at him expectant.

His thoughts started racing, debating about whether it would be a good idea, to tell Giovanni now, to just let his feels out, let them guide him. Or if he should keep quiet, find an excuse really quickly, and stay in his cage, the closet, he had learned to live in for years, even if it wasn´t the best.

His thoughts suddenly shutting up and his heart taking over as he suddenly heard himself saying it, those words he had kept to himself his whole life. So long. Too long.

“It´s not a girl. It´s a boy.”

And the room went completely silent. The only thing Marti was able to hear was his heartbeat, a little too fast, and his ears ringing.

Martino looked Gio in the eyes, them not giving anything away.

“It´s Niccolò,” he continued, letting a shaky and nervous breath out after he´s done.

As he looked over at his best friend he saw a smile slowly appearing on his face, getting wider and wider.

“Really Marti? That´s nice! He´s a good guy.”

Marti sighed and immediately had to think of Nico. His laugh, his humour, the fact that he always felt that comfortable around him. Just the way he is.

“He is,“ Marti answered a little sad.

“How did you met him?”

“We met over Bookstagram, but you already know that. He basically shitted on me first that I didn´t like Harry Potter but it changed into teasing soon and well… We got along pretty good right from the start I guess. At least it felt like that for me. We texted some time till we realised that we´re both from Rome and decided to meet. The first time meeting him was the day I came late to our meet up with Elia and Luca. And well, it didn´t stop after one meeting, we met again and there hasn´t been a person I felt that comfortable and at ease around this fast for some time. We talked about this and that, struggles he´s going through and well, one time I simply told him that I´m… that I´m gay and like boy. This was so terrifying, Gio, even if his reaction wasn´t bad, not at all, I felt so relieved afterwards. It might sound stupid now but it always felt as if there was… something between us, something special, you know? I can´t really describe it and put it into words but it was… so nice. Everything, spending time with him,” Marti looked up at his best friend who still sat there and smiled at him, “oh, and on Friday, when I went out of the bar he followed me and, well, he tried to kiss me I guess but Luchi came out and interrupted us.”

“Marti what? This sounds so romantic!”

“It does.”

“This sounds so wonderful, I´m so happy for you. But… why are you looking that sad then? Did something else happen?”

“It sounds beautiful, but for me only?”

“For you only?” Gio said, looking confused.

“Yeah, these feelings were just one-sided, there´s nothing more than friendship between us. I… guess it was just my mind playing tricks on me, telling me that Nico might really like me back.”

“But Marti?”

“Hm?”

“He tried to kiss you?”

“Yes. And?” Marti asked, raising his brows.

“He tried to kiss you! And you want to tell me that he has no feelings for you and only sees you as a friend?!” Gio said loudly, looking at his best friend as realisation suddenly appeared on his face.

“Shit Marti, Luchino interrupted you?! I was the one sending him out to look for you, gosh! Damn Marti I´m so sorry I—,” he didn´t get to finish his sentence as Martino already butted in again.

“Don´t worry, Gio. Even if Luchi wouldn´t have come out to look after us there, nothing would have happened.”

“What do you mean, Marti?”

“He has a girlfriend. He likes girls, not boys. Not me,” he whispered.

“But Marti you know that liking girls doesn´t necessarily have to mean that he couldn´t like boys too! Bi, pan, and so on, ever heard of it?” Gio asked, grinning a little before he continued, “but how do you know that Nico has a girlfriend? Did he tell you?”

“No he didn´t, I found it out on my own. He linked her on Instagram and well, there are a few pictures of him or them together on her Instagram. And no Gio, before you asked, they´re not just friends, an “I love you” under a picture and people complementing their relationship is clear enough,” Marti said and let a broken breath out.

“But Marti—”

“Gio, no need to try and tell me that they aren´t together, you don´t need to do this to try to make me feel better. It´s okay.”

“Okay, but I still can´t imagine it. I´ve seen the look on Nico´s face when he´s talked to you. Gosh Marti, his eyes were shining!”

Martino couldn´t help himself and had to smile sadly as the memories of the Halloween party came back again, him still being happy.

“And if it´s should be like that, he´s an idiot. The biggest idiot out there. If he lets someone like you go. You´re a catch, Marti, and every boy out there could be happy to date you. It wouldn´t be fair of Nico to give you hope and let you fall in the end, he would be an asshole. And Marti, believe me, you´ll find someone better. You deserve someone better.”

“Me being a catch is something my mom or grandma would normally say,” Marti said grinning, earning a laugh from Gio.

“How did you find out? That you like boys? You can tell me, only if you want of course.”

“Well, I never paid much attention to it, that I did find boys… cute I guess? It never occurred to be that it might be something special, it just was like that. Only when you guys and in general people around me back at elementary school started to have crushes on girls and talk about them, their looks, how beautiful they were, I could never get and understand it. The way you described you feelings for girls… I felt the same for boys. As older as I got I realised that I could never be normal, that I like boys and boys only. That I´m gay. And it made me feel so insecure of myself and of how the world would see me if everyone would know about it. Believe me, it terrified me. The thought that people would think differently of me, might cut ties. I was so afraid that it got me more and more into the closet. I knew that I liked guys, had crushes on them, but it would have never occurred to me to tell someone about it. Not till now, till I met Nico who just was… special.”

“Marti?” Gio asked after Marti finished telling his story.

“Yes?”

“I´m sorry. I´m so fucking sorry if I ever gave you the feeling that you can´t talk to me about it, that I would hate you or whatever. I could never! You´re my best friend and you´re so important to me. I love you no matter what, Marti!”

And with that Gio embraced Marti into a tight hug. Marti just knew that nothing had changed between them, Gio still touching him as before. And it felt as if all the weight has lifted from his shoulders for now, being there in the arms of his best friend. The best he could wish for.

“I´m so proud of you Marti. So, so proud!“

And it felt as everything would be good. Even if it´s just for the moment.  

-----

Yayyy new chapter :D Marti might be confused and sad about Niccolò at the moment but at least Gio made him open up yayyy <3 Writing this was actually so nice. I wrote it a day after I´ve rewatched season 2 of Skam Italia (which I´ve watched a day after coming out to a friend of mine and I felt like as I´ve been Marti and she was Gio in that situation, it was so perfect haha - wow random rambling end) and uff, i´m still not over Effetivamente, it gives me life, haha :D<3

I really hope you enjoyed reading it and I would love to hear what you think of it in the comments or my ask box <3

[nancydrew65]

SKAM NL Season 2 Episode 8 Thoughts

So, I just realized that SKAM Dutch, the tumblr page that posts translated clips and text messages from the show, also labels how each clip is related to the episode, including which episode it belongs in! I am an idiot for not noticing this sooner. Now, I can post reactions sooner. Hurrah!

I Miss You

Liv wakes up hungover in Noah’s room lying in bed beside Morris and the blonde girl from the party.

Oh my god, I just realized this because I watched all the clips that just came out, but when Liv puts on her clothes, she doesn’t put on her bra. Rewatching this scene to write this reaction was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

As Liv leaves the house, she gets a bunch of messages from an unknown number. It is Noah and he lost his phone. He doesn’t want any more space and he texts her that he loves her. What a punch to the gut for Liv.

She has to throw up/retch by a tree. I have to say that lead-up was very realistic. I saw it in her before she did it that she was going to throw up.

And here starts the spiral into doom

What Happened Last Night?

Liv takes a shower at home, very similar to what Grace did in SKAM Austin. She buries herself into her covers and tries to fall asleep.

Ralph barges in and soon sees that something is wrong. He is worried about her not going to school and offers to make her juice! Sweetest Eskild ever. He is so attune to Liv’s feelings. I love him so much. I hope Liv confides in him soon.

Under the sheets Liv looks at all her messages and decides to send one to Morris asking what happened the night before. I think this is one of the hardest things that the Noora character is put through. Not only was she possibly raped or sexually assaulted, but she has to message her possible assaulter just to find out what really happened.

Flashbacks

This clip was… I almost felt physically sick watching it.

Liv is scrolling through instagram - there was an easter egg to SKAM with fan art of Noora - and looks through Morris’ profile. She finds a photo with Morris and the blonde girl who was in bed with them. Her name is Marie Van Aspen. So, this girl appears to be the Mari character. I really hope she and Liv have a scene together because she was so funny at the party.

Liv then searches for signs of whether or not you have had sex. My dear, poor girl.

Liv watches a youtube video of a girl who went through a similar experience as her, where she was drugged and taken advantage of in Las Vegas. I think it is really important for Liv to watch that video so that she realizes that whatever happened, it was not her fault.

There’s a knock at the door. Noah is outside, looking for Liv. She ignores him and he finally goes away when she texts him that she has the flu.

And then Morris texts Liv back and oh my god… SKAM NL just did that. So, I think SKAM NL set certain things up to make Liv’s situation seem better than other Noora’s, like how Ralph was so supportive and sweet and how Liv watched that really helpful, inspiring video of the girl who had been sexually assaulted. I think they did all that to shock us with this new reveal. For one, Morris responds much quicker than any other version of Niko and there is no fake-out text where he tells her nothing happened, she reunites with William, and then he texts her again and shows her the naked photo he took of her. Instead, we get this wholly awful scene where Morris texts Liv a video he took at the party where Liv is in bed wearing only her bra. In the video, Morris pulls back the covers of the bed and proceeds to slip Liv’s bra off, leaving her breasts exposed.

This is… shocking and horrible to say the least. I really wish there had been a trigger warning. Morris is easily the worst of the Nikos. And I feel kind of uncomfortable ranking the relative awfulness of each version of this character because each version is a terrible person. However, there is a large difference between Noora stripping and Niko taking a photo of her naked (still absolutely disgusting) and Morris approaching an almost unconscious Liv and stripping her bra off while she is protesting. That is sexual assault. And we don’t know if anything else happened… But that is so, so terrible regardless. I made an earlier post where I said I thought it would be interesting watching a version of Season 2 where Noora actually got assaulted because I thought it would be an incredibly complex and important storyline to tackle…. And I guess, be careful what you wish for. I am already so upset and horrified after one clip.

I Had to Do It

Liv is doing the wash and there is a very beautiful contrast between the white of the clothes and the dark hoodie Liv is wearing and the dark colors of her room.

Noah shows up with groceries. How domestic. No, I’m kidding. That was really sweet of him, probably one of the nicest things a person can do in a relationship tbh.

Liv explains that she isn’t angry anymore about him fighting, but she is sick and needs time to think. They share a kiss, so there’s hope. (Who am I kidding? I just watched the latest SKAM NL clip where a version once again leaves a version of Noora collapsed on the ground crying. I am very pissed off, but I will get more into that next episode.)

There was a great visual moment when Liv closes the door and leans back on it. She turns to the left where the glass part of the door is and through the frosted glass we see Noah’s silhouette. Very poignant. Once he leaves, she opens the door and grabs the groceries.

I Don’t Remember Anything

There was a trigger warning at the beginning of the clip, so at least SKAM NL took its fans thoughts into consideration.

Liv bakes cookies for Ralph and Jayden, but doesn’t have any herself. Is this a hint of her eating disorder? I know they kind of brushed that off in SKAM Austin and I can’t tell if they are doing that here.

Jayden comments on how put together Liv is… and that broke my heart because Liv is falling apart inside and she feels like she has to put up this strong front. Let people in!!!!! Tell the girls!!!!

Liv gets a call from her mother who sounds quite busy. Like the only time you can call your daughter is when you are in the car? Really? She does sound more concerned and invested in Liv’s life than her father who is really only interested in Liv’s music. And we got confirmation that Liv’s dad is experienced in the music industry.

This also made me notice that the record company meeting is probably equivalent to the article Noora had to write. That kind of makes it more sad, in my opinion. In Noora’s case, yeah, the article was a great opportunity to invest in her job goals, but for Liv it seems more serious. Music is something she loves and hopes to make a career in. This meeting could have potentially life-changing consequences for her and it is all ruined because of Noah’s asshole of a brother.

Liv’s mom suggests getting a plant (an offer Liv takes eventually) and tells her daughter that she is always there to talk. So, I feel like Liv’s mom actually does care about her daughter, but is a bit distant and is not really great in initiating contact.

Liv goes back to her room. Ralph asks to use Liv’s computer to look up a recipe to cook for Benny, his sweetheart. He finds what I assume is a website looking for symptoms of if you’ve been raped. We don’t know for sure.

He immediately confronts Liv about it. She yells that it’s not her fault. 1. It is incredibly sad that she has to assume that is what Ralph thinks, but 2. At least she doesn’t think it’s her fault.

Liv has a breakdown/panic attack and Ralph goes and hugs her, telling her she doesn’t have to go through this alone.

Now, I really enjoyed this scene, don’t get me wrong. I think SKAM NL has developed Ralph and Liv’s friendship very well this season. However, they do get rid of what is, in my opinion, Noah’s best scene in the season. And honestly, I would have cared more had I not just seen the scene where Noah confronts Liv. Now I’m glad they gave this scene to Ralph because Noah does not deserve it.

You Don’t Have to be Ashamed of Anything

While I am so so so so so glad that Liv has a support system much sooner than in other remakes… I am kind of uncomfortable about how SKAM NL handled it. I really wish Liv could have told the girls on her own, not have it something that was discovered. Despite how terrible it was watching Noora suffer alone, it was such a relief when she finally confided in the girls. I wish Liv could have been allowed to have that same initiative. She seems very reluctant when she is telling the story to the girls.

The girls (and Esra!) all arrive at the apartment (i’m pretty sure Ralph called them) to talk with Liv. I am glad that she explained the whole story to them and that Ralph didn’t just tell the girls all the details.

Speaking of the details, can we acknowledge how courageous Liv was to have showed them the video?

I loved the juxtaposition of everyone on one side of the bed, watching the video with Liv by herself on the other end. And as soon as the video ends, Isa and Engel climb right back to Liv’s side. It is kind of a metaphor for saying, we are here for you, it’s not your fault.

Esra says to go to the police… and yeah. Liv should most definitely go to the police. I am not very happy with SKAM NL executed the whole confrontation scene between Liv and Morris, but I will get more into that next episode. Long story, short: I wish they had adapted it better to the unique situation Liv is in, a situation vastly different from OG.

Liv doesn’t want to go to the police, but Engel convinces Liv to at least confront Morris. Janna says she will fight Morris bare-breasted. That is something I would like to see. Fight him, Janna!

Liv seems to get a renewed sense of confidence and messages Morris to meet with her.

General Thoughts

This has been probably my favorite episode in the whole season so far. I thought SKAM NL did a great job depicting Liv’s anguish and struggle (Zoe Love Smith is a fantastic actress, she is killing these extremely intense scenes) and despite how hard it is to watch, I am really glad they gave us a version where the Noora character is assaulted. For dramatic storyline purposes, I wish we had gotten the next clip (where Liv confronts Morris) as the last clip for this episode, but I understand that they have to distribute clips accordingly to each episode. That is really all I have to say.

[hell-heron]

I have to ask for BenCutio 💙💜

Awww nice! Gonna tag my girl @capuleti who asked the same. 

who hogs the duvet: Benvolio. He really, really doesn't mean to and will deny it forever but he gets cold easily and tbf as soon as he tugs at it a little Mercutio immediately gives it over and wraps himself all around him too bc he's even more of a softie when the light are out who texts/rings to check how their day is going: Benvolio, to the point of being annoying tbh but Mercutio grows to appreciate itwho’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: Mercutio. What's the point of having to be from a stifling and invasive royal family if you can't use it for ridiculous extravagant gifts to the like, two people who you think deserve it. It's also often things that no one would expect Benvolio wanting except for some passing mention he made, bc Mercutio pays a lot more attention when he talks than anyone and he wants to make it clear 😂who gets up first in the morning: Benvolio, if Mercutio goes to bed at all that is. Of course, they often go to bed at the same hour, so it's sometimes a wise choice and sometimes it just means Benvolio is a sleep deprived mess the whole day. who suggests new things in bed: Mercutio, constantly. Benvolio is a little bit overwhelmed at first but then he catches on how its just Mercutio's way to show him love and try to please him who cries at movies: I wanted to say "Romeo" but tbh Benvolio gets slightly sniffly and very ashamed of it with some things that touch his buttons. Mercutio sometimes gets the impulse with things like tense weepy family reconciliations and so on but he just makes an aggressive joke after another until it's over who gives unprompted massages: Mercutio, when he decides Benvolio needs to stfu and relax who fusses over the other when they’re sick: Benvolio most often, but Mercurio is generally sweeter because he's capable of not being naggingwho gets jealous easiest: Benvolio, unfortunately it's more because he's both insecure and raised to be territorial and possessive than because of Mercutio's natural flirting with everyone, but Mercutio still feels super guilty and distressed about it. who has the most embarrassing taste in music: I have put too much thought into this but: Benvolio likes mostly cheery pop/disco songs evenly sprinkled with soulful folk ballads and whatever Intense Italian Song About Patriotism And Social Issues he can find (plus the surprisingly many intersections of the too) mostly the good ones from the 70s but also the cheesiest modern ones that frequently make him cry. Mercutio listens to A LOT of rap, which he absolutely doesn't like but his life is basically a rap battle and he has to be Prepared, mainstream punk, the angsty-indie-sad-party-girl subgenre esp Halsey and Lorde, he ADORES David Bowie and probably copied his style a lot when he was younger, also likes folk ballads but more the very wild ones generally involving the devil or absurd schemes, were Benvolio is more of a "melancholy Irish war widow" guywho collects something unusual: Mercutio, including but limited to: 1) those horrifying fairy miniatures you find at the florist shop artistically modified by him 2) beer taps from the whole world3) merch of long forgotten bands he may or may not have never listened to4) bunch of red stuff clearly stolen from the Capulets. When Benvolio worries about it he just tells him he, too, walks around showing off clearly stolen Capulet property and does he complain about it? (no ask is complete without bitter exes Tycutio lmaowho takes the longest to get ready: Benvolio, surprisingly, bc Mercutio has organized his personal style so thar he can fish whatever he feels like from the closer and throw it on and it's still Iconic who is the most tidy and organised: Benvoliowho gets most excited about the holidays: Kind of depends on which holidays but they kind of both equally do? Mostly bc they immediately go Time For Party Planning! to the chagrin of other friends who maybe felt like doing something with their family for once who is the big spoon/little spoon: They kind of switch based on who needs more reassurance that night who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports: Mercutio during the game, but Benvolio is more of a sore loserwho starts the most arguments: They kind of start themselves? Benvolio is naturally passive aggressive and Mercutio is kind of self conscious about feeling like a huge dick most of the time so he doesn't want to stir shit - this is not Tybalt, he has to try to be sweet and a decent human being etcwho suggests that they buy a pet: Benvolio already has a dog so Mercutio is like the devil on his shoulder whispering More Puppieswhat couple traditions they havewhat tv shows they watch together: Sitcoms, teen shows like Glee/Skam/Skins/Riverdale they alternatively make fun of and relate way too much too, Shameless which they DEFINITELY relate way too much to, MCU movies, probably they rewatched Bohemian Rhapsody seventeen times what other couple they hang out with: Whoever is together in their friend group, which is eeeeever fleeting 😂 also Romeo and the sense of existential dread and lovelessness that accompanies him how they spend time together as a couple: They don't spend that much time alone since they share one group of friends. They generally do some Sex Stuff then cuddle and talk and sometimes go stargazing. They also probably attempted making a band at some point but it didn't work lmao who made the first move: Mercutio. Benvolio is not exactly shy but he still felt kind of weird and intimidated who brings flowers home: Mercutio, he knows it's gonna make Benvolio flustered and thats what he lives for. Benvolio generally makes him flower crowns out of them though. who is the best cook: Benvolio is just functional. Mercutio is much better but also inclined to too reckless experimenting or getting distracted and burning shit

[lightsandlostbells]

on the end of Skam

not to be melancholy but it’s making me sad that I know Skam fandom activity is going to slow down since the show is done, and there won’t be any new content, and the nature of the show means there won’t be DVDs with deleted scenes and cast commentary, behind the scenes documentaries, etc. we can’t immediately and easily follow the actors and crew to new projects. we basically just have to wait until Shame happens, for better or worse.

but what makes me especially sad about this is that though fan activity will slow down, I don’t think my love of the show will die out? it’s one thing for fans to drift away from a long-running show because the canon got too shitty to handle, and yeah, I was definitely upset with a lot of S4, but I still care about these characters and I don’t see myself growing out of that the way I have with certain other shows I’ve loved. like in five years, even 10 years, you could mention Skam to me and I’d be like, “oh yeah, I loved that show!” and I’d decide to rewatch it (because you know, Google Drive has still got us covered) and I’d still love it and I’d still be crying over S3 and fondly remembering the feeling of watching it in real time. doesn’t matter that it’s a show about teenagers - because quality storytelling is quality storytelling, no matter if it’s a kids’ cartoon or an Oscar-bait drama for adults.

so it’s just a little hard to think about, that we could’ve gotten at least two more seasons with these characters, but it didn’t work out, and there’s not going to be any new material, and people are going to move on, I’m sure I’ll move on, but I know it’s not going to be because of a lack of love. and I’m just happy I got to experience a lot of this show in real time. no matter what the fandom is like a month, six months, a year from now, it doesn’t matter, because the brief amount of time we spent following this show as it aired was something that brought us joy. (and i mean, pain. and frustration. and seething bitterness. all of that, too. but hopefully enough joy that it was worth it, ultimately.)