#i was so in love with van okay

[riafunnel]

On Fandom

"So you know how sometimes a piece of media stops being just a movie or just a series or just a whatever and becomes, like, a legitimately important part of your life?"

-arisha on LJ

For me, that was Escaflowne.

When you consume a piece of media at the perfect time in your life, it just really sticks to you and becomes more than just that thing. It becomes a marker for who you were at the time, no matter how cringey. And if the work is really, really good, it'll be a joy to revisit years later when you've grown up and can look at it with different eyes. I have other reasons for revisiting it, I suppose, and a lot of them have to do with fully accepting my younger self.

I was that girl when I was a grade school kid, fully obsessed, the way only a fangirl could be. I had posters in my room, listened to all the OSTs, talked about how much I hated Allen (lol), made a Fanel household in The Sims, tried out for track, and daydreamed about getting isekai'd myself.

The media landscape was so different back then, a lot of media was just very inaccessible and I had to be resourceful. The depth of research and rabbit-holes I got into - I taught myself katakana, read up on Atlantis and tarot cards, read One Thousand and One Nights, the Van Allen radiation belt (lol), and all the fanfiction I encountered on Geocities websites and FFN. I tracked down all the other works of the voice actors, both English and Japanese, and watched those.

I had my group of friends who were also fangirls, and we all hung out together and talked about our anime crushes and wrote fanfiction together. We definitely got weird looks, but that's okay, on a certain level we did know we were into weird things.

Towards the end of grade school I distinctly remember feeling ashamed of my weeby behavior and took active measures to tamp it down, 'grow up' a little, and make more friends outside of my anime bubble. It worked and I hung out with other crowds.

I would still engage in the fandom intermittently, but by then my group of friends had all gone our separate ways. I ended up going to a different high school than my grade school friends, and we all gradually stopped being anime fangirls. We developed different interests, discovered boys, etc.

I have bittersweet feelings about that time in my life, consciously suppressing my love for all anime (not just Escaflowne) because I was embarrassed. But at the same time, I was busy with a demanding school schedule and other major life events. Looking back, I wish I didn't shame myself for giving up on my 'childish interests'. I wish I engaged more with the fandom and sought out the corners of the internet where my fellow fans gathered. I recently discovered that there was an Escaflowne forum in the mid-2000s that I completely missed, as the whole site is defunct now.

I also didn't think to look on Tumblr, because I was A Cool Girl(TM) and joined reddit in 2010 instead. I feel like I missed out on a lot, not just because of Life Events but also because of my embarrassment at being a fangirl.

Over the years I'd still listen to the score, rewatch every few years or so. I convinced one of my best buddies to rewatch it with me during the pandemic and he was so impressed the animation, the story, the direction, with how well it holds up. It really reaffirmed by love for the show.

I guess I was mostly embarrassed of my antics when I was younger, but that was just me expressing my love for a piece of media that I really like. What's so strange about that? Christopher Lee used to read LOTR every damn year, there are a million adaptations of The Iliad, and a bajillion more covers of The Beatles' Yesterday. Good art is just timeless, you know?

So yes, this blog is about Escaflowne but also more than that. I’m really happy that I found media that I obsessed over back then and that it still has a bunch of fans like me all over the world.

Nowadays I'm unlearning that shame, I am fully accepting my younger self's cringe, and I owe it to her to engage in fandom. :)

[clown1nc]

I really like dutch and vandermatthews

[tender-emotional-music]

“You make me feel like I’m not a mistake at all. Like I’m better for being different.”

This line haunts me in the best way possible. It’s one of the most beautiful, romantic, and heartfelt lines in the show for me. I know we were all pissed when Volume 2 dropped, but looking back, this scene and the painting plot were genius. I cannot wait for when it all comes undone in season 5 and everything is laid bare.

[eg515]

Himbo Family Dinner: Richard's little dance, Jan and Richard's hug, Colin being a dork, Van Damme's iconic outfit

[uranium235s]

four day project finally concludes

[anthemofgvf]

oh…oh god. someone help me up.

[the-lonelyshepherd]

every now and then i leave my media literate bubble and see people saying taivan is boring.

[sade-alicious]

mike is an established smart and clever character from the beginning idk how everyone picked up the “mike wheeler has rocks in his head” joke and ran with it

[zivaninja]

the thing that hit me the hardest on ted lasso this week is colin's reaction from when isaac walks in at half-time to when he stands up and says isaac isn't gay.

the shifty eyes, the breathing, not saying anything when Sam asks if he knows whats up because he can't speak. Billy Harris fucking nailed it

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

I hate when female characters are designed based on the men around them or on their own gender. Like, a woman who has basically no personality and only exists for the men in the story, or a woman who is so tragic because she’s a woman in a sexist world, or is so badass despite being a woman, basically a woman who’s problems originate from her gender. This one is trickier cause this is the reality for a lot of women, but I need more variety. I don’t want a female character who is strong despite being a woman, I want her to be strong and a woman. I don’t want a female character to be tragic because of things that happened to her because she’s a woman (SA, unhappy marriages [specially in historical fiction], etc etc), I want her to be tragic in a way that has nothing to do with her gender, to be tragic and also a woman at the same time. I need more characters who are written the exact same way men are, and just happen to be women.

Anyway, watch Yellowjackets

[kindheartedgummybears]

Love how popular vampire!Dutch is, Everytime I see something about it is so🤌🤌🤌🤌

...

So hear me out on werewolf!Molly-

[devilat-thedoor]

a man’s descent into madness

[politemagic]

Em help what should be the first ever song I listen to from Greta Van Fleet?

okay, so, the first song that *i* ever heard by gvf was Heat Above and H O L Y S H I T. i was on board immediately, so i think i would suggest that one!!

the entirety of The Battle at Garden’s Gate is incredible, one of my fav albums of all time. Broken Bells, Stardust Chords, and Barbarians are some of my other favorite songs from it!

but you also can’t go wrong with the classics Highway Tune and Safari Song

[tabithatwo]

[anthemofgvf]

guys…

[slushi-chan]

Severen would jump/hop onto the bed making you bounce, his trademark Severen grin on his face.

He probably hops on and lands on his side, head propped up on his elbow looking at you.