#Law and order svu fanfic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thatesqcrush · 12 days

Text

Beautiful Sinner (Priest! Barba AU), Prologue & Ch. 1

Priest! Barba x f! reader | SVU au

Rating: NSFW for language, graphic smut, basic desecration of religious upbringing.

WC: 8.6K

AN: I am so going to hell. One way ticket for lil old me.

AN2: Big thanks to @beccabarba for reviewing and being my soundboard.

Prologue:

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been, It's been too long since my last confession.”

“Go ahead,” the voice behind the screen began. “Tell me your sins.”

You shivered at the tambor of the words spoken. And you know that your sins were also their sins.

“I'm not seeking penance for what I've done, Father. I'm asking forgiveness for what I'm about to do,” you clarified. Your voice was soft.

“That’s not how this works,” the familiar voice replied. “What exactly are you going to do?”

You let out a shaky breath and heat flushed your cheeks. You began to unbutton your blouse. “I think you already know, Father.”

— Ch. 1—

*six months earlier*

It was a blistering summer day in Manhattan, the sun beating down relentlessly, casting sharp shadows on towering skyscrapers. The pavement radiated intense heat, mirages shimmering above the asphalt street. The air was thick with a suffocating blend of exhaust fumes, unpicked garbage bags and urban heat. City dwellers sought refuge in shaded pockets, and the city seemed to pulsate with the collective desire for relief from the oppressive heat.

It also happened to be your first weekend in your new home-a nine-story walk up in Hudson Heights.

You received your pink slip and had to make the hard decision to move. Your aunt was subletting her apartment while she traveled across the Borneo rainforests. Transitioning to a more modest apartment was a challenging shift. You had to adapt to a different community vibe and recalibrate your lifestyle expectations. You had introverted tendencies but you tried to remain resilient, focusing on navigating this life change as a time to reset.

You opened the window and stuck your head out. Spanish music played outside loudly and the normally traffic filled street was closed, with people milling about. It was the annual block party for the neighborhood, with vendors and entertainment alike. The food smelled wonderful and your stomach growled in response. The sound of a knock on the door interrupted your thoughts. You ducked your head, making sure to avoid giving yourself a concussion. “Coming!” You called out as your bare feet padded the floor. You knew who it was - Maria, your next door neighbor who you met on move-in day. Maria was friendly with your aunt and you knew that she had promised your aunt that she’d keep an eye on you. She was close in age to you and immediately offered you a helping hand, helping you bring up boxes. You thanked her with pizza and beer and the two of you were on your way to becoming fast friends.

When Maria had texted you earlier in the week,” ‘Block party! Want to come with?’ it was an easy yes.

You opened the door and let Maria in. “Just need shoes and my bag. Help yourself if you want anything,” you called out, heading back towards your bedroom.

You heard your fridge open, the cacophonous sounds of beverages clanking together followed by the click and hiss of a can opening. Soon enough, you were both on your way.

–

Time flew and you found yourself really enjoying yourself. Eventually Maria had to leave - she was meeting her boyfriend and his sister to head into Queens to catch the Mets game.

You were still beyond hot, the humidity was thick, almost choking you. You pulled out a claw clip from your bag and pinned your hair up. Just even having the damp strands off the nape of your neck provided some, albeit, minimal relief. In that moment, you missed your pixie cut from years prior.

The local fire department had opened the fire hydrant and there was a gaggle of kids playing in the water. You looked at the water longingly before you internally said ‘fuck it,’ and ran through the open fire hydrant. The force of the water was stronger - and colder - than you had anticipated and you let out a shriek. You ran through it once more - this time not as close to the hydrant - enjoying the water washing over your overheated skin. Sufficiently cooled off, you continued on your way through the neighborhood.

There was a generalized area with a tent set up for community outreach. Curiosity piqued, you moseyed on over. You picked up a pamphlet - St. Blaise Church. You were religious as a child, it was as how your parents raised you. As an adult, you found yourself straying away, not agreeing with the church’s ideals which contradicted your more liberal beliefs. Sometimes, though, you found yourself missing it - especially during Christmas and Easter, when the congregation would meet up together in mass throngs. There was something about community that made you wistful.

“Interested in the Church?” a voice questioned. You looked up and you locked eyes with a handsome man. That was an understatement. He was obscenely good looking. Almost as if it hurt to look at him straight on. You felt a jolt straight to your core. No one should look as good as he did.

He took your breath away with his green eyes and thick, fitted build. His hair was dark with flecks of gray at the temples. His salt and pepper beard neatly framed his jawline. The man gave you a smile, his eyes crinkling. Crow's feet gracefully fanned out from the corners of his eyes, evidence of a life rich in laughter and stories. Dressed in comfortable yet stylish summer attire, he exuded a casual sophistication. He wore a fitted polo with fitted shorts that were borderline criminal. The polo was slightly unbuttoned, which allowed for a hint of chest hair along sun-kissed skin to peek through. Immediately your brain went to the gutter.

“Miss?”

You blinked. It was as if your brain broke and you had no idea as to how to respond. He raised a brow and inwardly you melted, feeling warmth bloom through you.

“Uh, sorry. The heat is just getting to me,” Nervous laughter accompanied your lame excuse.

“No worries, it happens to the best of us. I’m Rafael Barba.” He offered his hand and you took it. As you shook his hand, warmth bloomed through you.

He offered you a beer from a cooler and you happily accepted. And over beer, you find yourself enamored with every word from his lips. You suspected Rafael was involved with the church with how passionately he spoke about it. And when he invited you to attend the Adult Fellowship group after Sunday’s mass, you found yourself agreeing.

“...the fellowship hour following the Liturgy provides opportunities to develop friendships, meet parishioners or simply exchange information of mutual interest. There are monthly birthday celebrations and seasonal events, such as Christmas and Easter parties, as well as a spring picnic. We are always looking for more—”

Rafael’s cell rang and he apologized before excusing himself. You nodded and rocked on your heels, once again taking in the scene before you as you finished your beer.

This new neighborhood was already looking up.

—

As Rafael took the call, he couldn’t help but turn around to look at you once more. His eyes raked over your form, fully drinking you in. He swallowed hard, and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. He could feel a slight stirring in his pants, and furiously shook his head.

‘No,’ his brain argued. ‘No.’

He was not being turned on right now. Rafael tried to push the thought away and turned his attention back to the phone.

After the Householder case and resigning from the D.A.’s office, Rafael decided he needed to get away from it all. He spent the next three months holed up in his apartment, avoiding anyone and everyone.

Even if he didn’t want to - there was no one who would understand what he did. His mother was horrified and stopped talking to him. He received more than one gloating, sneering call from the recidivist he should have blocked — Alex Muños. Even Yelina spurned him.

He was truly alone.

So what was an acquitted, former ADA to do?

He prayed.

He had lapsed from religion. After working in the DA’s office and seeing all the especially heinous, depraved, evil out there - he was convinced there was no God.

He couldn’t explain why he did what he did - he did what he had to. Something called him to do it.

Was it God? Was it the Devil?

He wasn’t sure. So he prayed some more.

And then one night it came to him. The calling from God.

After a lengthy period of hemming and hawing, weighing the pros and cons, he contacted the local diocesan vocational director and began the requisite training. That training looked like pre-theology for 2 years followed by a tenure at a major seminary where he studied languages—some of which he already knew -Latin, Spanish, Greek. He also took graduate level studies in theology, including Doctrine, Canon Law, Church History, Scripture, and Liturgy.

He called St. Blaise’s home for three years. He found joy in community and spreading the Gospel. He gave to the community as much as he could possibly give. He thought it would be weird - that people would recognize him and call him a baby killer. And if they did - they never did it to his face. Rather, the community embraced him.

He was still busy as ever - mass was everyday, there were funerals, baptisms and weddings. He did outreach with the youth and began a fellowship for parishioners who were in a similar age cohort. Having saved quite a penny as an ADA, he lived off his savings. A priest’s salary was meager and he still had to pay taxes. So his salary sat in another account which went towards that.

The summer block party was an annual event, but very nubile - only in its third year. It’s where he felt he could give most back and the community could truly come together.

He hadn’t felt an attraction to any form of secular life in ages.

Until you just now.

He could use the excuse that he was a man after all. A man who used to be sexually active with both men and women alike. But before you, he was able to steer his thoughts away and put that energy into something else for the betterment of the church and community.

And then you came along, soaking yourself as you sprinted through a pump before going back for more.

His eyes traveled over you again. You were soaked, the material of your clothing sticking to you. Your tank top - now sheer - showing off your nipples which were diamond hard due to the combination of the cold water and air.

‘Fucking hell, get a grip.’

But he turned around to get yet another look, while yes’ing the person on the phone. His eyes trailed over the shorts you wore, perfectly molded to your ass and thighs. The rest of your legs were equally toned and for a split second, he could imagine them wrapped around his hips.

‘Oh for fuck’s sake.’

He wanted to talk to you more but this phone call ate up his time. Finally after what seemed like forever, he was free again. He decided at that moment, he needed to clear his head, so he sat back down and willed his cock to deflate. He closed his eyes and was about to cover his face with a hat when you interrupted him again.

“So what’s a lapsed Catholic to do if she wants to rejoin the church?”

Rafael lifted the hat off his face and sat fully. He cocked a brow. “Well, you can start by coming to mass tomorrow.”

“I suppose,” you sighed. “It’s been awhile.”

“How long is a while?” Rafael inquired gently. He gave you a kind smile. You looked away, embarrassed. Heat flooded your cheeks.

“Years,” you supplied.

Rafael nodded and then cocked his head. “Are you familiar with the parable about Jesus and the lost sheep?”

You nodded. “I’m the one that Jesus is looking for?”

Rafael nodded. “Maybe. But what about coming to mass first and checking it out before making any commitments?”

You nodded again. “I’ll think about it.”

“Hey stranger! Long time no see!” a familiar voice called out, interrupting the conversation.

You felt a tap on your shoulder and turned to see Maria, now accompanied by her boyfriend.

“I thought you were going to the city,” you asked, chucking your beer in the garbage can next to you.

“Changed our minds. Plus Robbie’s sister is being a little bitch.”

That earned a ‘hey!’ from Robbie before he acquiesced. “Yeah, she is being a little bitch.”

You turned back around but Rafael was nowhere to be seen. You looked at the pamphlet once more before folding it and tucking it away for later.

“I cannot believe you spoke to Fr. Barba like that,” Maria continued.

“Wait - what? He’s a priest?”

Maria nodded. She then pointed to your still soaked appearance. “You can see your tits through your tanktop. Wrong day to not wear a bra. You look like you could win a wet-tshirt contest.”

You felt your cheeks grow hot in embarrassment as you looked down and realized Maria was in fact correct.

“Probably thanked God - that celibate life must be rough,” Robbie laughed. “He’s been a priest for how long? I can’t imagine not having sex.”

You weren’t listening though, too consumed in your embarrassment and attraction. Of course the hottest man on the planet is a fucking priest. ‘And of course I would basically flash him.’

Later that evening at home, you poured some kibble in a bowl for your cat and heated up a quick meal. As you waited for your food to finish, you rifled through your closet for something to wear to church. Your eyes landed on a sundress that you knew was probably much too short for church. You frowned and kept looking until you found the perfect outfit.

You told Maria that you were going to attend mass. You had already promised the hot priest you’d come to the fellowship group. If you didn’t show, then you would be a liar, and you couldn’t lie to a priest - right?

—

The following morning you found yourself at church with Maria.

“I want to sit up in the front,” you whined as the both of you shuffled into the pew.

“I’m too hungover to sit in the front,” Maria grumbled. “You think I can get away with leaving my sunglasses on?”

You rolled your eyes. “This is probably the one mass you can get away with that shit,” you replied before slapping your mouth with your palm. “I didn’t mean to curse, shit, oh no, God damnit!”

Maria laughed at your foul mouthed word salad. “You can confess to Fr. Barba after.”

The organ began to play and you stood. You motioned to Maria to stand and she ignored you, instead choosing to rest her head on the back of the bench of the pew in front of her. You watched as the altar servers carried in the items needed for mass - Cross, the processional candles, incense and Bible. Your eyes followed as Fr. Barba walked behind. He wore green vestments and you vaguely recalled that the color of the robes indicated where you were along in the church calendar.

Mass went as typically as you remembered. You sang from the hymnal, prayed along the congregation, and actually listened to the homily instead of daydreaming about being anywhere else. Fr. Barba was straightforward, discussing Jesus’ anger.

“Paul commands us in Ephesians 4:26, be angry and do not sin; don’t let the sun set on your anger. I’ve heard a lot of sermons on the “but do not sin” part: anger can give opportunity to the devil and birth all manner of hell in relationships. I’ve also heard a lot of sermons on the “do not let the sun go down on your anger.” But I haven’t heard any sermons on these two words: be angry.”

Fr. Barba paused before continuing. “Be angry. As we look upon a world of injustice and abuse, even in the church, we can learn how to be angry in love together. And we learn this the way Paul did: from Jesus. Jesus got angry. Regularly. And we see a pattern in his anger: whenever someone vulnerable or powerless suffered injustice at the hands of the strong and powerful, Jesus opposed this injustice with loving anger.”

The Liturgy of Word concluded and then transitioned into the Liturgy of the Eucharist. You watched intently as he performed prayers and rites in Latin that had existed for thousands of years.

It was time for Communion but you didn’t feel up to receiving. So instead, you just watched. As you scanned the church, your eyes locked with Rafael’s. He was watching you, a frown on his face. You felt your cheeks grow hot once more and you turned away out of embarrassment.

Mass concluded shortly after. The fellowship hour was immediately afterwards, held in the basement of the church. Maria had zero interest in attending so you parted ways before heading down. The smell of incense and something very “churchly” permeated in the air as you walked down the dimly lit stairs.

The basement was as expected, acoustic tile ceiling, fluorescent lights, that unique slight churchy smell, boxes of various items, beige metal folding chairs, long tables, pillars in the middle of the room holding up the sanctuary one floor up. There was a life-size nativity in the back, with a Joseph whose hand was broken and an unfortunate beheaded sheep statue. Someone was setting up a coffee maker and someone else was plating store-bought cupcakes.

You chit-chatted with some congregants, majority of whom you met at the block party.

As you made a cup of coffee, you were unaware of Fr. Barba entering the room. It was only when you heard his voice and the sound of people shuffling to sit. You turned, sipping your coffee as you did so. No, Fr. Barba was no longer in those ceremonial robes that hid away everything. Instead, he wore fitted dark denim with a black shirt and his collar.

Your eyes tracked him as you continued to speak with others. You made sure to glance back to the folks you were speaking with - implying you were listening when you really weren’t. You watched as he moved easily through the room, greeting people, making jokes. What a waste of good looks.

People began to slowly sit, the chatting quietly winding down. Eventually, you took a seat. Everyone sat in a circle and you felt as if you were in an AA meeting.

“Welcome,” Fr. Barba began. “Thank you all for taking the time to come today.” He turned his gaze to you and stretched his arm in your direction. “We have a newcomer.” He gave you a small smile, his eyes crinkling in the corner.

You gave a small smile and waved, before introducing yourself.

There was a more in depth discussion of the readings from the mass. You hung onto every word Rafael said. Fr. Barba, Fr. Barba, Fr. Barba you chanted in your mind as if you were trying to ensure that stayed in your mind.

He’s a priest you told yourself. He’s Father - not Daddy.

—

You became a regular at church and also at the afternoon fellowship. You were usually quiet, opting to listen more so than anything. Today was different.

Fr. Barba asked the group to share their most favorite parts of scripture; he had anticipated the majority of responses - Genesis, one of the Gospels, Proverbs. Your comment made his stomach flip.

“I personally enjoy Song of Songs,” you offered. “It celebrates sexual love.”

“Jewish tradition reads it as an allegory of the relationship between God and Israel,” Fr. Barba offered.

“In Christianity, it is read as an allegory of Christand his bride, the Church,” you countered.

“I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me,” Fr. Barba responded.

You flushed. “His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. It is an unabashedly sensuous, even at times quite erotic, paean to love,” you continued as you leafed through the Bible you held.

“No matter what interpretation you choose to believe, the book is a powerful and profound reminder of the beauty and depth of God’s love for us. It is a beautiful book that has been celebrated for centuries and one that can still bring joy and comfort to believers today.”

There was a pause and then Rafael clapped his hands. “I think that’s enough to stop for now. Thank you all for coming. I’ll see you all next week.”

You hung back, helping to clean up. Slowly the group dissipated, leaving you and Fr. Barba alone.

“You’re still here.” Fr. Barba’s voice was thick and dark. You shivered in response.

“I really enjoyed myself today,” you replied softly as you approached him. You closed the gap between you and him. You could press your hands to his chest if you wanted to.

Oh how you wanted to.

Your nipples strained against the confines of your top. You wanted to drop to your knees and show your worth - take another type of communion.

‘Behave,’ you told yourself.

“Did you now?”

His expressive, bright green eyes are now dark and stormy. His jaw is tight. You swallow hard.

“I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I won’t have it,” he continues. His voice is clipped and you shivered in response.

You shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m not playing at anything Father. I’ll see you next week.”

Rafael didn’t reply. He watched as you turned about and walked away with a deliberate sway of your hips. His eyes were focused on your ass. All he wanted to do in that moment was to haul you over a pew and spank your ass for your insolence. His cock ached and twitched in his pants.

You turned back towards him, a full smile gracing your face. “I’m really looking forward to being a member of this congregation.”

Once you were gone, Rafael sat down on a folded chair dismayed.

He was so screwed.

God almighty help him.

—

It was a delicate dance. There was a part of you that enjoyed toeing the line with Fr. Barba. And part of you felt a smidge guilty. But fuck, he was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at him.

As Fr. Barba. Well, you weren’t alone in the desperate want and lust you were feeling.

He played with you in his fantasies. He knew what he was getting into when he became a priest. He swore to God to not know another’s body. It was the least he could do considering he killed baby Drew.

He wasn’t supposed to have these kind of thoughts.

It had been so long and he was under your spell.

After the group meeting, he had to hustle back to his home - a small home attached to the rectory. He made quick work of removing his clothes. He hissed as grasped his aching cock. Stroke, stroke, stroke.

Self pleasure was also a no-no.

Masturbation involved lust. It’s to use another person for your own selfish pleasure. The person becomes an object and it denigrates their dignity as a human being.

When he was around you, he wanted to throw everything into the wind. The image of your soaked tits haunted him. He threw his head back as he continued to jerk himself. Desire. You made him fucking feral.

He imagined kissing you after the meeting the second you and him were alone.

His lips crushed against yours. He pressed your back against the wall, his knee parting your legs.

One hand tangled in your hair, his lips brushing against the sensitive spot of your skin.

It was as if you released a part of him that he had kept tucked away for so long.

He stripped away your top, before mouthing your tits before dropping to his knees. Your hand moved through his hair.

“Taste me,” you’d beg. You’d beg so nicely and who was he to deny his lamb?

He imagined grabbing your ass, pulling your dripping pussy to his mouth. You would drape a leg over his shoulder, grounding yourself hard against his mouth.

“Fuck, right there. Just like that.”

He would put his thumb on your clit, rubbing circles as he pushed his tongue inside, tasting, licking, and sucking.

“You like that?”

“Yes,” you’d moan. “Don’t stop. Oh God, I am going to come. Please, fuck me.”

He would undo his belt and drop his pants, grasping his cock in his hand. He’d rub the head of his cock along your folds, teasing you until neither one of you could stand it before burying himself deep inside of you.

“I want everything you’ve got. I want to feel it all.”

“Is that what my little lamb wants? To be fucked hard like a whore?”

“Yes,” you’d beg. “Please.”

“Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.”

“Come for me little lamb,” he’d encourage. You’d fall apart at his words. He could imagine how your wet, soft, pussy would suck his cock in, deeper and deeper. He would imagine thrusting deep and hard, his cock dragging against your sweet spot. He’d come hard, deep inside of you, his come painting your walls.

In reality he grunted and groaned as his cock kicked. He came all over his hand and belly. He panted, waiting for his breath to even out.

‘Shit.’

—

It was a gloomy Tuesday morning as Rafael worked in his office. Homilies were a lot like closing arguments. Instead of trying to sway the jury, he had to connect with his congregants. Instead of evidence, it was the gospel.

He was distracted. His mind kept wandering to you. Were you some kind of a test for him?

You were under his skin. An itch that couldn’t be scratched. Or stroked. You had consumed his thoughts.

He tore the yellow sheet off the pad before crumpling it.

Rafael tried very hard to live a holy life, especially as he had known what life was like, could be like, outside of the church.

And until now, through God’s grace, he had done very well.

He looked at the time. Confession was to start soon. Confession wasn’t popular. Usually before the bigger high holidays, people would come in droves. But a regular, run of the mill Tuesday? Not a chance.

He had his regulars though, who would come without fail. They were long standing members of the community. Being bilingual was a big boost for the church.

Rafael put on his collar, and changed into dark slacks from jeans and then headed out.

—-

You peeked into the booth. Seeing that it was empty, you made your way in and sat down.

“Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It’s been… um, years since my last confession.”

Rafael was stunned. It was you.

‘Focus.’

You began with some menial, ordinary sins. Rafael focused on what you were saying, ignoring the throb of his cock.

“And, of course, this… all leads to the most wicked one.”

Rafael swallowed hard. “Go on.”

“I’ve been thinking about you.”

“Me?” Rafael questioned. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck.’ “What do you mean?”

“You’re so kind and thoughtful. I probably shouldn’t say this because it’s so inappropriate, but you’re so fucking handsome. And it’s resulted in some wicked behavior.”

“Wicked how?” His hands ball into fists before he grabs the tops of his thighs hard, trying to steel his thoughts.

“I— I’m sorry. I need to go.” You’re stammering over your words, your heart racing.

Rafael heard the panic in your voice and he frowned. The confessional creaked as you stood. Rafael was filled with an overwhelming need to get you to stay. “We all sin. Including myself. God made us imperfect and can he really get to be disappointed in us when we do imperfect things?”

“I— I’ve never felt the way I do about you with anyone else. And I am filled with despair about wanting what I can’t have,” you reply softly. “What can I do about this? Can I say 10 Hail Mary’s or something?”

You continue. “And can I be absolved if I don’t feel bad about what I’ve done or said in the past? They’re all things I wanted to do.”

Rafael wracked his mind on what to say.

And before he could, he heard you open the door and leave. He stood quickly and pushed open the curtain. But it was too late. You were already gone.

—

Sunday mass came like clockwork.

As Rafael led mass, he scanned the pews for you. He was disappointed when he didn’t see you. He saw your friend and he made a mental note to talk with her afterwards.

“Fr. Barba, great service,” Maria commented as she shook Fr. Barba’s hand.

“Thank you. I- I am glad you came. You had been coming with your friend—“

“Oh! You mean — yeah, she couldn’t come today. She had some stuff to take care of. She’s new to the area and I know she could really use the community support,” Maria replied. She looked past Rafael and smiled brightly. “Oh there she is!”

Maria called your name. Rafael turned around and he saw you across the street. You were dressed more conservatively and he felt a wave of disappointment.

You half jogged across the street and before Rafael knew it, you had materialized in front of him.

“Hi,” you greeted as you tucked your hair behind your ear. “Sorry to have missed mass.”

“It’s okay,” Rafael laughed. “It’s not like God is keeping tabs.”

You smiled. Maria turned to you. “Was just telling Fr. Barba how you could use some community.”

“Uh,” you blanched. “Yeah, something like that.”

“Well, help is always needed at the community center or food pantry,” Rafael offered. “Meet plenty of people that way.”

“Yeah, sure. I - I saw in the bulletin you were looking for someone to go over your books.”

Rafael shifted. “Um, I was looking more for a CPA—“

“Well you are in luck!” Maria hit your arm. “You’ve got your own CPA here.”

“I-I am not a CPA. I was treasurer of my sorority years ago,” you explained. “But I lost my job and I need money,” you shrugged. “That’s all.”

Rafael sighed and rubbed his neck. As much as Olivia was a bleeding heart, he was too, especially with his roots. “Um, stop by the rectory sometime next week and we can talk it through.”

You smiled brightly. “Oh that would be great! Really! Thank you.”

Rafael nodded. You turned to Maria. “We have to go. Reservations?”

Other congregants had started to line up to speak with Rafael. He turned towards the line, but not without glancing back, watching you walk away.

Rafael admired you from behind, appreciating how your jeans hugged you in all of the right places. A flash of heat coursed through him.

‘God damnit, what are you doing?’

—

You never came by. Or to mass. Rafael thought you might have had a change of heart. Perhaps your flirtation with religion had flamed out. He found himself longing to see you but also increasingly frustrated with himself. He busied himself as much as possible so that he couldn’t even think of you. You were the absolute last thing on his mind.

When you rapped on his door two and a half weeks later, Rafael was more than surprised. He was downright startled, like a horse with thunder. He had been knee deep in the church’s financial books.

“I’m sorry, I hope I am not intruding. I know it’s late.”

Rafael relaxed. “No, not at all. Please, come in, sit.”

You slunk in the chair with ease and eyed Rafael’s outfit. “You don’t look like a priest.”

Rafael arched a thick brow. “And what do I look like?”

“Like a regular guy. Someone I would meet at a bar,” you shrugged as you waved your arm as if to make a point. Rafael was wearing dark jeans with a button down, sleeves rolled up and brown brogues.

Rafael laughed. “Well, there was a point in my life where you would have found me there. Speaking of bars, would you care for a drink?”

“I thought priests could only drink church wine.”

Rafael laughed again. “No, no, we can drink more than church wine.” You heard the clatter of glass and the sound of liquid pouring. “Here,” Rafael turned to you, his arm outstretched, holding a lowball glass with amber liquid. “Macallan 18.”

You took it from him and swirled the liquid before sniffing. You closed your eyes as you took a sip. You hummed, pleased. “This is good. Dangerously good.” You took another sip. “Oh this goes down way too easy.”

‘I bet my cock will go down easy.’

Rafael coughed and shook his head. “Uh, yeah, it does.” He took a large swallow of his glass and then poured himself another glass.

“You’re wondering why I’m here now. Instead of two weeks ago.”

Rafael perched himself on the corner of his desk. “I am.”

“I wish I had a reason that made sense, but I don’t. The truth is…” you glanced around the office and it became very apparent that the room was decorated more like a legal office than what you assumed an office in a church would be like.

“The truth is?” Rafael prodded.

You stood and started walking around the room. Your hand trailed the spines of the stacks of books lined up. It was then when you spotted the law degree in the corner.

“Wait - you are a lawyer? And a priest? How does that work?”

“Was,” Rafael clarified, before taking a long sip of his drink. “Was a lawyer.”

“You don’t practice anymore?”

“No,” Rafael shook his head. “Not anymore.”

You walked up to the bar cart and poured yourself another drink. You took the chair and pulled it until you were sitting directly in front of Rafael. “Tell me.”

Hours passed. Rafael unloaded everything on you - his time at SVU, baby Drew, the why to choose a life of faith.

And that bottle of Macallan?

You stood very close to Rafael. Your hands pressed on his chest. You swayed slightly and Rafael placed his hands on your hips, steadying you.

“Hire me. I’m really good with numbers.”

Rafael’s eyes narrowed. “We aren’t going to have sex.”

You scoffed, before almost losing your footing. Rafael’s hands gripped your hips tightly. “Who said anything about us having sex?”

“Do you think I don’t realize what game you’re playing?”

“Game? I’m not playing a game. I need a job.”

“Don’t play dumb.”

You rolled your eyes. “I am not. Besides, do you even know how?”

Rafael pushed you away slightly. “Did you not just hear the story of my life?”

“That doesn’t answer my question, Father.”

“The how?”

You walked back and closed the gap between you and him. “Yeah. The how. To fuck.”

Rafael’s eyes darken. He cupped your face and you leaned into his palm. He slowly walked around and behind you. He dropped his mouth to your ear. “I know how to fuck. I’ve fucked plenty. Men. Women. I know how to make someone come.”

A rumble emanated from Rafael’s chest. You spun on your heels and looked up at him. Rafael loomed over you, your eyes growing wide. Your breath hitched. “Is that so?”

Your faces were inches apart. You were breathing each other's air, growing dizzy over the shared breath. Your heart was thumping and you were so needy in that moment you thought you were going to burst.

“Little lamb, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

You let out a whine. “Please.”

Rafael lifted your chin with his finger. Your eyes searched his before settling on his lips. His beautiful pink lips that you knew they knew how to kiss. And lick. And fuck. And make someone come.

“You’re a good priest Father Barba,” you whispered. “But you’re also a good man. And doesn’t a good man deserve a little indulgence every now and then?”

The tension in the room was thick, the air electric. You almost felt moved to tears in the desperate way you wanted him. And he wanted you.

The sound of sirens blaring broke the spell. You both jumped apart. You both stared at each other. Rafael couldn’t help but notice that you were flushed, and that flush was making its way down. You worried your bottom lip.

“It’s late,” you rushed. “I’m sorry I’ve wasted your time.”

You spun on your heels and was about to dash out the door when Rafael gripped your wrist, pausing you in the middle of the door.

You looked back up at him with wide eyes.

“You start Monday,” Rafael gruffed. You nodded, unable to say anything.

You managed to squeak out an ‘okay.’ And before you realized it, the door was shut in your face.

—

Your first week was completely uneventful. As is the next. And the week after. You’re the epitome of well behaved and professional much to Rafael’s relief.

That still didn’t mean he didn’t imagine kissing you and then some. Or how when you leaned over his desk, he didn’t imagine lifting up your skirt and plowing into you. Or that when you chewed on your pen cap, he didn’t imagine his cock between your plump, soft lips.

Under the collar, he still was very much a man.

And you didn’t let him forget it. He lost track of the amount of times he had to get himself off. And still it didn’t nothing to quell the ache for you.

You threw yourself into the work and you actually found it quite fulfilling. You made plenty of friends and found yourself volunteering in other parts of the church - like working at the food pantry or singing as part of the church choir.

Summer ebbed into Fall. The air grew cooler. The days started to grow shorter and the leaves, once a vibrant green, were now tinged with yellow and orange, painting the city in a fiery palette.

You were working in the rectory that morning. When Myra, the arthritic receptionist, ended up in the hospital with pneumonia, you eagerly took over the job. You were busy enough with church duties as it was but it made sense for you to take over.

Utilizing your skills from past work experience, you ended up bringing St. Blaise into the 21st century thanks to Intuit and Microsoft.

Since you started, the more Rafael was able to get to know you. In turn, the more he wanted you. He did everything in his power to not even look at you for too long, at least when you were not not looking. It was hard - but Rafael was a glutton for punishment. Being around you made Rafael addicted.

It did seem as if you heeded his words - you were the utmost professional. You did such a good job that Rafael wondered if maybe he had misread the signals altogether and that one night was just the booze.

Then one particular evening, Rafael saw you walking with Maria, her boyfriend, and another gentleman. He didn’t want to stop and say hi - if anything he wanted to avoid it altogether and cross the street but you and him made eye contact. It would have been too awkward to avoid you by that point. It ended with the five of you at the local watering hole - where this gentleman who had his arm wrapped around you. Rafael didn’t enjoy how jealousy washed over him - he knew he did not have any right to you, or your body. And he would never be - you were never together like that.

You were waiting at the bar, ordering another round when Rafael joined you. You looked over at him and gave a small smile.

“So you’re on date then?”

You looked at him incredulously. “Rafael—“

“You live here, you can go on any dates and with whom.”

“He’s just— you and I— we never…

The bartender arrived with your drinks. You went to pay, but Rafael stopped you. “I got it.”

“Don’t you have to take a vow of poverty?” you asked as you grabbed some of the drinks. Rafael grabbed the remainder and the two of you walked back to the booth.

“One of the most common misconceptions about the Catholic priesthood is that all priests take a vow of poverty. In fact, most do not. Diocesan priests do not even make vows, they make “promises” of obedience to their bishop: chastity and to pray the Liturgy of the Hours. Vows, on the other hand, are typically made by members of religious orders, such as Franciscans, Benedictines, Dominicans, etc.”

You nodded. “Got it.”

You walked ahead of Rafael, a sway in your hips as you did so. Rafael’s eyes narrowed and he sucked in a breath as he followed, exhaling slowly.

When your date - Eric - as he later learned - began mouthing off about theology and religion, Rafael rolled his eyes. Still, he wasn’t going to let himself get bested and using the skills he acquired from all the cross examinations he had ever done, basically annihilated the other guy. You snickered behind the glass of your drink but Rafael saw it and felt his chest puff.

At one point - Eric whispered something in your ear. Whatever he said was enough to make you blush and shift in your seat, smiling to yourself like you had a secret. Rafael didn’t miss it at all and he felt himself stiffen and his jaw tighten. Your eyes met once more, and you witnessed the visceral reaction he was having, saw that little flex of his jaw and the way his eyes glittered with something primal and possessive. You could see that part of him would gladly punch Eric, and even as Rafael’s eyes locked with yours, he didn't hide it. Briefly, the kind and generous priest was all gone. Even the smart and sassy lawyer was superseded: you saw the man, capable of lust and jealousy. Over you. The thought of inspiring those feelings in him made heat pool in your body, and you squeezed your thighs together. His eyes registered your expression: you were certain he knew how you felt.

By end of the night, you went to hug him good night but Rafael dodged you. You frowned and bid him adieu as he dipped his head in acknowledgement. Rafael continued to head home - and had he turned around, he would have seen you still standing, watching him.

Another week went by.

The pounding on the door stirred Rafael awake. He looked over at the clock - it was a little after midnight. A breeze blew through, causing a chill to run through his body.

He tugged a t-shirt on and groused that he was on his way.

Rafael was not expecting to see you.

“Father,” you greeted. There was a very large bottle of Macallan in your hand. Your eyes trailed over the very sleepy priest in front of you. His hair was askew and he looked adorable. You swallowed at his tight white shirt and low slung gray sweats.

“What is going on?” Rafael asked. He reached in his pocket for his glasses.

“Fancy a chat about my existential crisis?” You thrusted the bottle of scotch into his arms and walked in, pushing slightly past him.

Rafael got a whiff of your shampoo and it sent all blood straight immediately to his cock. He looks back outside and satisfied not seeing anyone else, closes the door behind him. “Existential crisis?”

“Do you have any glasses?” You ask, ignoring his question, as you look around. You hadn’t ever been inside a priest’s dwelling and you were surprised at how normal it appeared.

“Wow.” You stopped misstep and looked around. “This is not what I expected.”

Rafael rubbed his neck. “Huh? Oh, what did you expect it to look like?”

“I don’t know. More holy? Crosses everywhere. Stacks of bibles? Not something out of an architectural digest - with a kitchen island!”

Rafael laughed. He took the bottle from your hand and walked over to the island where he placed the glasses. “A lot of this is from…” he waved his arm around. “Before.”

“Pre-priest Rafael.” You clarified as you walked over to where he was and took an amber filled glass.

“Yeah,” Rafael replied before taking a long drag of his drink.

You nodded and hummed before taking another sip. “When you were just a man. Who had sex. A lot.”

“I’m still a man.”

“Come on, you know it’s not the same.”

You knew better. You knew you shouldn’t.

What would your friends say, what would they do if they ever find out? What about the congregation and surrounding community?

This was bigger than you, bigger than him. What were you thinking?

But it’s Rafael. Fr. Rafael Barba. Not that it matters - he’s not actually yours. He belongs to God.

But now when he’s staring down at you the way he is right now, teeth catching his full bottom lip, sleep-tousled hair and stormy, smoldering eyes, you can’t help but fall from grace.

“Kiss me.”

“You know we can’t.”

“So? Kiss me anyway.”

“I’m a priest.”

“Kiss me anyway.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

Rafael swallowed the remainder of his drink and let out a huff. He pointed a finger toward you. “You…you’re trouble.”

You closed the gap between you and him. The room felt electric. You pressed your hands onto his chest. “So? Kiss me anyway.”

Rafael sucked in a breath. You press yourself even closer, your hips automatically seeking his. Rafael pushed you away gently. “I told you we can’t. I told you I can’t.”

“Why are you denying what’s between us?” Your hands shook as you poured yourself another glass. You turned and leaned against the island. “God made us to be sexual creatures. It’s his design. It’s his idea, his gift to us.”

Rafael sighed in irritation. “Our sexual desires are no surprise to God. He made us, and He gave us a strong sexual desire to enjoy within the proper context.” He pointed to you and then to himself. “This is not the proper context. If I wasn’t a priest, then it would be different. This is real life. What we do has real consequences.”

“If you weren’t a priest,” you murmured. You swallowed the remainder of your drink and slammed it on the island. Warmth flooded your body and you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or him or a combination of both. Likely the latter. “Tell me you want me. Tell me I was never imagining things.”

Rafael remained silent.

“You have the right to lose control. I know you think—”

“You don’t know what I think,” Rafael acerbically spat. “And no, I don’t have the right.” He began to pace. “You don’t know the misery I live in when you’re not around.”

“And you think I am not?” you questioned. Your voice wavered and your eyes welled with unshed tears. “It’s never been like this with anyone. Never. I want you. I can’t have you. But please - let me live in the solace that you want me too. That I was never imagining any of it. I am going crazy.”

Rafael paused mid-stride and looked at you. He took a deep breath.

“What’s it gonna be? I am begging you.”

It was like something in him snapped when you said that. Rafael slammed his own drink before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He walked over and pressed you against the island. You let out a squeak in response. You could feel how hard he was against your belly. He brushed some of your hair back. Your breath hitched and a flush spread along your skin.

“Say it again.”

“Tell me you want me.”

“No - repeat what you said at the end,” he all but growled. You chewed your bottom lip and nodded.

“I beg you.”

“God help me. You beg so prettily,” Rafael murmured. He pulled at you, hands grabbing at hips, lips crashing into yours in a bruising kiss. It was over before you could register and you pulled back to look into his eyes. You wrapped your hands on his face and then dove back in, returning the kiss, equally as hard.

The momentum was desperate, frenzied, hands everywhere. You let out a gasp as Rafael backed you against the kitchen island. The scruff of his beard dragged against your skin, his lips working your jaw, your ear, moving down your neck, and you let out a strained moan. You pressed your hips upwards into his, feeling his erection. Rafael had to stop and inhale sharply before resuming his attack on your skin. The tips of his fingers find skin under your shirt, and dig into your flesh. One of your hands is twisted in his shirt, the other grasping the waistband of his sweats as he felt a leg curve around his; it was as if your body functioned in tune to keep him as close as possible.

Rafael’s lips found purchase on the hollow of your neck. You let out a groan as you sagged against him, melting into his embrace. The want was overwhelming.

His hands made way to the front of your jeans and he nimbly undid the button and fly before shoving his large hand down your panties. “So wet for me.”

And you are. You’re so fucking wet, it’s obscene.

The tips of his fingers drag through your slit.

“Fuck,” his teeth scraped along your jaw. “You’re soaking.”

He slid two fingers deep inside of you. You keened wordlessly into his shoulder, biting down on his shoulder to suppress a moan.

“No, no, pretty lamb. Look at me,” Rafael husked, his voice laced with an edge of dominance.

You pulled back and met his gaze. His fingers drove deep up into you, pumping, long and needy. His thumb rubbed against your clit. Your blood is boiling, your body vibrating. You’re close. You know it. He knows it. His fingers continue their momentum, finding that spongey spot inside of you that most folks couldn’t ever find.

The walls of your pussy ripple against his fingers. “Be a good little lamb and come for me.” It was Rafael’s turn to beg. “Be my good girl and give it to me.”

You chanted his name as if it were prayer as you come around his fingers. Your body is abuzz, vibrating. You whine out his name in three syllables as you coat his hand with your arousal. Rafael swallowed your cries as he covered your mouth with his. The kiss, which was initially passionate, slowed in intensity, to just soft, slow licks that almost felt reverent, worshipful. Eventually he pressed his forehead to yours and you both drank in each other’s air, breathing heavily. You whimpered as Rafael removed his fingers from your cunt. You watched him with wide eyes as he slipped his fingers into his mouth. His eyes fluttered close as he let out an appreciative sound.

“Do I taste good, Father?” Your voice was laced with lust.

“My sweet, decadent little lamb,” Rafael complimented. “But we cannot do that again.”

“Do what?” You asked as you pushed him off slightly to give yourself room to drop to the floor. You palmed his cock through his pants, pleased with yourself as he groaned with want and need.

A car backfired and the sound caused you both to startle, effectively ending the spell. Rafael helped you up from the ground. “This cannot happen again.” His voice was firm. And before you could protest any more, you found yourself back outside, the door shutting in your face.

Rafael leaned against the door, his head pounding, his cock aching.

‘You idiot! You shouldn’t have done that. Shouldn’t have given in to your melodic voice and sparkling eyes. You had no business being in his life.

But the crack he left open for you made him believe that he had more to lose now than when he met you at the block party all those moons ago.

He rubbed his face, tired and frustrated. And he went back to bed to once again to take matters in his own hands again. ‘Fuck.’

TBC.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba and reader #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba smut #priest kink #priest! rafael barba #priest! Barba x reader #law and order SVU au #law and order svu fanfic

58 notes · View notes

illdowhatiwantthanks · 3 months

Note

Could I please request Casey Novak! She’s my all time favourite baby! Maybe something like how reader is Burning with hatred when the new friend Casey starts to be too touching and affectionate. You can make it angsty or how ever you like. A bit random but I dunno I’m feeling jealous lately I need to get it out of my system before it eats at me more .

Thanks you my love! 🥰

All yours, anon! I don't write a whole lot of angst, so this was fun! (Happy ending tho because of who I am fundamentally lol). Hope you enjoy! --illdowhatiwantthanks

With the Crack of a Bat

Casey Novak x fem!reader Warnings: violent thoughts on the part of the reader (not like murderous or deeply harmful or anything, but... we're definitely wishing ill-will), some angst, very vague references to sex, innuendo (please let me know if I've missed anything!) Word count: 1.3k

Summary: There's a new girl on yours and Casey's LGBTQ+ softball team, and you do not like how cozy she's getting with your girlfriend.

You sat fuming in the dugout, waiting your turn to bat, the heel of your cleat grinding repeatedly into the dirt-caked concrete. You weren’t usually a jealous person and, in the several months you’d been dating, Casey had done nothing to suggest that she was the kind of person who’d cheat on you. In fact, she’d done quite the opposite, proving herself again and again to be loyal to a fault.

But the new girl–Eloise–she made you more insecure than you’d been since high school. She was everything you weren’t. Lithe where you were stocky. Feminine where you were rough around the edges. Suave and easy and flirtatious where you were awkward and fumbling. In short, she would have been a popular girl. She was popular on the LGBTQ+ softball team. Even just in scrimmages, like today, both sides of your split team vied for Eloise to be their pitcher. She was the best. There was no way around it.

You hated playing catcher for her. She was more of a one-woman show than a team player. She often ignored your play calls. When she pulled it off, it paid off. But you’d allowed more than one stolen base because she threw where you weren’t expecting and you missed the catch.

But today, you’d discovered something you hated even more than playing catcher for her: Casey playing first base for her. Every strikeout, every tag-team play, they were all over each other. Chatty as could be. Hugging, cheering, lingering high-fives. It made you livid. But if you’d examined your anger, you would have found that what it really made you was scared. Scared that Casey would like Eloise more than you because, let’s be honest, what’s not to like?

You swung your bat, letting your shoulders and hips get loose as you waited on deck. A tip of the ball from the batter in front of you–a grounder to Eloise, who scooped it up and tossed it wildly to Casey. It would have been an easy throw to miss, but Casey bent and stretched for it, tagging the runner out at first with only seconds to spare.

Eloise whooped and the two came together for a high-five.

“Hell yeah, Novak,” Eloise called, smacking her ass. You felt your jaws clench. “Gotta love a girl who knows how to bend.” She spoke a little too loud, a little too pointed, especially as you approached the box. She wasn’t even being sly about it anymore. It’s like Eloise was goading you, teasing you, as if she was saying without saying, I could take your girl. Easy.

You took a deep breath and focused. Focused all your rage, all your insecurity, all your desperate love for Casey that felt suddenly so very tenuous, and held it all in your twisted grip on the bat. You exhaled slowly, blood pumping loud in your ears, tensed and ready for Eloise’s pitch. And when it came–wham. You sent it flying–straight into Eloise’s left boob. The thwunk was so unbelievably satisfying, you had to wipe the smile off your face before anyone noticed. Eloise doubled over, clutching her chest, stumbling into the dirt on the pitcher’s mound. The rest of the fielders ran to her.

What you really wanted was to victoriously round the bases, but that seemed in bad taste, so you dropped your bat and walked over to the pitcher’s mound, too.

“Oh my god, Eloise,” you said, trying your best to sound sincere. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s all good,” she groaned, taking Casey’s hand and grasping it as she pulled herself to her feet.

You frowned as you watched Casey support Eloise with an arm around her back. This was backfiring. This was not going the way you’d planned. Softball practice effectively dissipated as one of the girls got Eloise some water and another dumped hers to make a makeshift ice pack for her to hold on her chest.

After making sure Eloise was okay, Casey turned to you, glaring. You shrank. This was really not going as planned.

“Get your shit,” Casey said, her voice harsh and flat. “Let’s go.”

You silently gathered your things and followed her to the car, scared by her tone, scared by the fact that she didn’t take your hand on the way to the car like she always did, scared that she seemed well and truly mad–a rarity for Casey.

“Case–” you started, as you both climbed into the car and slammed the doors.

“What the fuck was that!?” she yelled, brows furrowed, face red. “The rest of the team might not know, but you and I know exactly how good your aim is with a bat. That was not an accident, Y/N.”

You were quiet, head bent, trying not to cry. “I’m sorry,” you whispered.

Casey shook her head. “What is your deal with her!? You’ve been acting so weird since she joined the team.”

“I’ve been acting weird!?” you shot back, surprised by your own anger. “You’ve been weird. She’s all over you, Casey. She flirts with you constantly. In front of me. And you just… let her!”

Casey looked at you with genuine shock. “What are you talking about?!”

You dashed away a few angry tears that slid down your cheeks. “She’s… she’s so fucking pretty and cool and strong and you clearly like her and I just… I don’t know. I’m sorry. It was dumb.”

“Y/N,” Casey said, her voice cooling a bit. “I like Eloise as a friend. That’s it.”

“Well,” you sniffed. “She likes you as more than a friend. And she acts like it.”

You let out a shaky breath, jumping a bit when you felt Casey’s hands on the side of your warm face. You glanced at her and saw that she was fighting off a smile, her eyebrows raised.

“You’re jealous,” she said, savoring the word, letting it linger. “Is that what this is about?”

You blushed furiously, looking pointedly at the door handle. “I’m sorry. I know it’s stupid.”

Casey sighed, then chuckled a bit, brushing her thumb against your cheekbone. “It’s kind of cute actually. But, Y/N, honey…” She turned your face so you had to look her in the eyes. “I am not flirting with Eloise. I will make it clear to her that I’m in a relationship. Maybe she just didn’t know.”

You had your doubts about this, but you decided to keep quiet about it for the time being.

Casey continued. “But unless she doesn’t respect that boundary, I still want to be friends with her. Okay? You can’t ask me to not be friends with people because you’re jealous.”

You nodded and sighed. “I know. But if she keeps flirting with you anyway?”

“If she keeps coming on to me, I will cut it off. I promise.”

You sighed, grinding your teeth.

“Baby,” Casey said, pressing her forehead to yours, both of you heady with the scents of ballpark dust and sweat and the leather of your gloves. “I can assure you I do not talk to Eloise or anyone else the way I talk to you. Or touch them the way that I touch you.”

You shuddered as she brushed her lips against yours.

“She’s not even my type,” Casey finished, her mouth mere centimeters from yours.

“And what’s your type?” you asked, already knowing the answer.

“You.” And then she kissed you. She kissed you with so much fervor, so much passion, as if she couldn’t communicate how yours she was with mere words, so she had to use her lips instead. And you knew then–just as deep down you’d always know–that Casey wasn’t flirting with anyone else. She wasn’t looking at anyone else. She certainly wasn’t doing this with anyone else. Casey was yours. And you were hers. And you’d do anything and everything to keep it that way.

#casey novak #casey novak x reader #casey novak x fem!reader #casey novak angst #casey novak fanfic #svu #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic

110 notes · View notes

teamhappyme · 26 days

Text

all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

aka the four times you save mike dodds + the one time he saves you

mike dodds x female!reader

word count: 9.3k

a/n: me? keeping mike dodds alive and well in every universe? absolutely. a good old fashioned 4+1 for you folks! this was another labor of love that has been years in the making because I could never string enough good things together - until I did! it's not my best, but it's one of my favorites, and i love writing for this guy! it's a niche character, but one near and dear to my heart. (I refuse to give up my Taylor swift lyric titles so fight me)

****

The first time you saved Mike Dodds, it was from the awful coffee in the squad room.

It was his first week with SVU, and, let’s just say, everyone is adjusting. He stepped over you while getting the victim’s disclosure, he pursued a lead not pertaining to the disclosure without telling Liv, and to top it all off, Rollins’ sister was behind the whole situation.

So, it’s been a tense week for everyone.

After Kim was remanded to Rikers, and Amanda was released from the hospital, everyone could let out a sigh of relief.

You were wrapping up some paperwork in the squad room after getting back from the courthouse, Liv talking with the chief in her office. You could only assume the accolades he was giving his son, while Liv just had to sit there and bite her tongue. You don’t envy the position she’s in right now.

To keep your eyes open a little longer, you made your way to the breakroom to grab a soda. Much to your surprise, you found the sarge at the coffee machine, ready to pour a heaping cup of old coffee.

“I wouldn’t drink that if I were you,” You warned him as you fed a dollar to the vending machine, pressing for a coke to come out. “I guarantee it’s been sitting there since this morning, maybe even last night.”

He nodded, placing the styrofoam cup back on the table. “Thanks for warning me. I’m pretty sure everyone else would’ve let me suffer the consequences.”

“Rollins and Fin would’ve watched the whole thing, but Carisi would’ve ran in to save you. We’re not too fond of perpetuating the newbie pranks, especially on a sergeant.”

You offered him the coke once it came out of the machine, and he took it, giving you a nod of gratitude. He didn’t open it right away, taking a few seconds to fiddle with the tab.

He looked up at you, looking quite defeated for the confident man that walked in here three days ago. “I’m not trying to step on any toes here, detective.”

“Dodds,” You started, but he cut you off.

Again.

“I’m the new guy, the new second in command here, and I understand that it’s going to take some time for you guys to warm up to me,”

“Dodds.” You held your arm out in front of you, hoping he would stop talking. “First things first, stop interrupting me.”

He had a sheepish grin, and hung his head.

“SVU isn’t like the rest of the department. It’s not as simple as getting the statement, arresting the perp, and going to trial. We have to connect with the victim, make sure they feel safe and supported enough to tell their story. And most importantly, we listen to Liv. She gives a masterclass everyday in being an SVU cop.” You paused for a second, taking another look at him. Of course he looked defeated, the welcome into special victims is never an easy one. “Listen, we’ve all been in your shoes. There’s a learning curve, and it takes a minute to get there, but you will. You’ve got good instincts, you’ve got the rank to prove it. You’ve just got to think in another way now.”

You saw the chief exit Liv’s office, and heard the dejected sigh leave Dodds’ mouth.

“I’m not worried about the learning curve. I know I have a lot to learn. What I’m worried about is not being taken seriously.” You looked over at him, and saw that he was locked on his father’s figure, following him out of the precinct. “I know everyone’s worried that I’m the boss’s son, thinking they have to watch themselves around me. But I’m not his puppet, and I’m not here to report back to him. What happens at SVU, stays at SVU.”

“I appreciate that.” He gave you a pointed look, not sure whether or not to believe you, but you only smiled. “Listen, we’re all straight shooters here. I’m not worried about who your father is or how you got this position. Everyone deserves a fair chance, and after these last few days with you, I think you’ll be just fine here.”

Honestly, you were never worried about his placement here. Sure, the rest of the squad was a little suspicious, and maybe gave him a hard time, but he’ll learn his place. And hopefully, they’ll see this guy, honest and vulnerable, instead of the shadow of his father the next time they look at him.

“Thank you. I know you could’ve chewed my head off after that disclosure, so I appreciate your patience.”

You laughed while moving back to the vending machine, getting a coke for yourself this time.

“It was your one free pass.”

“Technically two, since you saved me from the burnt coffee.” He added, walking back to the bullpen.

“Yeah, next time I’ll let you drink it.”

****

The second time you saved Mike Dodds was after the Lily Evans case.

It was never easy losing a kid, no matter how many years you have on the job. After three months with the unit, he felt like he hit his stride.

All until today.

It was late when Dodds and Liv came back from the Evans house, looking particularly jaded after informing the grieving parents they closed the case.

It was business as usual for the next thirty minutes, paperwork was finished, a celebratory job well done for solving something in a timely manner. And just like that, we move onto the next one.

Once Liv emerged from her office, the rest of the squad started to pack up.

“You going to see Amanda?” Fin asked.

“Yeah, I thought I’d stop by.”

“You know what, she’s been living off takeout. How about we all go up there, and I’ll cook us a real meal.” Carisi interrupted the Lieutenant, Fin in agreement to eat some real Italian food.

The smile on your face was automatic, loving the small moments in your day where there was a little room for happiness.

“Hey Sergeant, you wanna join us?” You all looked to Dodds, slouched in his chair, the weight of the world resting on his shoulders.

You’ve all been there before.

“Uh, rain check. Paperwork.” He sat up straighter in his chair, pulling a random file from his desk.

You exchanged a look with Carisi before setting your things back on your desk.

“I’ll meet you guys up there. And don’t let Fin eat all the garlic bread,” you teased, trying to keep the happy moment alive.

Once the rest of the squad left, you walked back over to Dodds desk. He continued to comb through the files on his desk, pretending to look busy.

“I know being a Sergeant is a big deal, but there’s no way you’ve accumulated this much paperwork since you’ve been here.”

“Well with all the joy rides you and Carisi go on, you’d be surprised how quickly those car change requests pile up.”

He said with a smile, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

“As appealing as that pile of paperwork may be, it’s got nothing on a home cooked Carisi meal. So,” you paused, giving him the opportunity to speak first if he wanted.

He didn’t.

“Why are you beating yourself up over this case?”

“Lily Evans could still have been alive when we first got to her parents house. If I had taken this seriously, we could’ve got to her and maybe she’d be alive right now.”

“Sarge,”

“And I know I should have listened to Liv, she’s got this down to a science. But I just wanted to-“

“Dodds, what did I say about interrupting me?” You chided, and he held his hands out to you in surrender. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but she was gone the moment she got in the van. It’s not easy to accept that at first, but some of these cases, you have to believe it if you want to get through it.”

“I thought it was going to be an easy transition to SVU. Major Crimes was high stress, kidnappings, negotiations, terrorism, all while having the eyes of the media and the city on you.” He shook his head. “I thought I was doing okay. I was listening to the Lieutenant, I was really learning from her, from all of you really. I thought I was bringing something to the table. But Lily, she was just a kid.”

You placed your bag down on the floor, moving to sit in the chair next to his desk.

“My second case with SVU was the Johnny D take down. I transferred from Brooklyn Homicide, so I thought I’d seen it all. Until I walked into that basement, and found four teenagers and kids locked in that basement as sex slaves. I threw up as soon as we got out of the basement, just barely missed Rollins. I couldn’t sleep for the next week, and when I finally cracked, Liv was there to center me. She reminded me why we did this job, of all the people we help, despite the most gruesome cases we catch. It takes a special cop to work in SVU, and you don’t stick it out, you don’t feel this guilt if you’re not cut out for it.”

He looked at you for a few seconds, not saying anything as he took your words in.

“How do you get up and come back to work every day?” He asked and let out a long breath.

“I took Liv’s advice: go home, talk to someone you love, and don’t make this job your whole life. Easier said than done.” You said with a laugh and he joined in. “But you’ve got your dad, he’s been on the job your whole life. He knows what it’s like.”

“He’s not really the talking type. And I’ve never… failed at something before. He expects a lot out of me here, and I want to prove to him that I’m cut out for this.”

“You’re not failing here, Dodds. Trust me, you’d be hearing an earful from Rollins and Fin if you were. I’m actually really impressed with how you’ve adjusted. We’re not an easy squad to assimilate to.”

“You can call me Mike,” he started, a small smile on his face.

You felt your cheeks get warm, and you hoped to god they weren’t bright red.

“Okay, Mike. Then pack up your stuff, cause you’re going to eat the best Chinese food of your life tonight.”

“What about Carisi’s fantastic meal?” He joked as he closed whatever files were open and shrugged his coat on.

“He’ll understand. Now come on, we don’t want them to run out of egg rolls before we get there.”

“Alright, alright,” he joked, running to catch up to you. You waited in silence for the elevator, and you felt a shift in the dynamic between you two. A good shift, one that happens when you finally earn the trust of your partner.

Mike spoke your name as you stepped into the elevator, and you looked over at him.

“Thank you for listening. It means a lot, to know that you have my back, in the field and otherwise.”

You smiled, gently clapping his shoulder as you responded, “Anytime you need an ear, I’m there. You’ve got a squad of incredible listeners surrounding you now. All we ask is the same in return.”

“You’ve got it.” He added without hesitation.

Mike Dodds was going to be just fine here in SVU.

****

The next time you saved Mike Dodds wasn’t exactly your finest moment.

Mike accompanied you to Gary Munson’s house on what was supposed to be a quiet Sunday afternoon. But after a call from his wife Lisa, saying she was finally ready to leave, your Sergeant graciously offered to accompany you to the house.

No one wanted to be back in the presence of Gary Munson, the rogue corrections officer accused of assaulting dozens of female inmates. The case hadn’t even gone to trial yet and it was already causing a lot of tension in the department, not to mention the DA’s office.

“Dragging me out on a Sunday is pretty cruel, even for you Detective.” Mike commented as you walked up to the Munson house. “I smell egg rolls and fried rice in the near future.”

“Hey, I paid last time. It’s not my fault you have a bleeding heart almost as big as mine and agreed to come along.” You said with a grin as you knocked on the front door.

Dodds had been at SVU just shy of a year now, and since the Lily Evan’s case it sort of became tradition to celebrate the closing of a case with that same greasy Chinese food. Even as the cases took longer to close, the two of you could be found there at least twice a week. It became your place, somewhere to meet when it was two a.m. and a case was keeping one of you awake; on a Saturday afternoon when the two of you had nothing better to do with the time off work; and of course, as a reward for helping each other out whenever they asked.

You waited for a minute before knocking on the door again as Mike walked around to the side yard.

“She calls and says she’s ready to leave, and when we get here there’s no answer?”

“What was her exit plan?” Mike asked, joining you back on the steps.

Before you could answer, Lisa opened the front door.

“Hi,” she began, “sorry for keeping you guys waiting.”

“Is everything okay?” You asked, attempting to take one foot in the door when Gary stepped out into view.

“Everything’s fine here.” He answered for his wife, her body stiffening at his voice.

“Mr. Munson, we're here at your wife’s request.”

“I… overreacted when I called you guys. We’re handling things.”

“That’s good to hear. So, you don’t mind if we come in?” Mike asked, trying to get some control of the situation.

“Do I need to call my lawyer?”

“We’re not here to talk about the case.”

“Oh right, you’re here because Lisa wants to leave me. Forgive me, I’m just a big, dumb CO.” Gary commented as you shared a look with Dodds.

He was already spiraling.

“Mr. Munson, we don”t want any trouble.”

“Great,” he replied, opening the door further for you to enter. “Neither do I.”

Lisa let out a deep breath as you entered the house behind her. You watched as Gary talked to their kids, trying to convince them everything was normal, but they were too smart for it.

“Why don’t I go upstairs with her and start to pack.” Lisa suggested as she moved towards the stairs, motioning you to follow.

“No.” He commanded back, causing you both to freeze. “She can stay down here with the kids. You go up.”

This was going to be the power struggle of all power struggles. You walked over to sit with the kids as Mike and Gary went into the kitchen. You exchanged another look with him, and he gave you a small nod. It was okay.

The kids slipped their headphones on as you tried to listen in on the conversation in the kitchen, but you couldn’t hear much. You took out your phone to text Liv, a gut feeling telling you this wasn’t going to end easy or as you planned.

You waited for a few more minutes as Lisa packed a bag for her and the kids before coming back down the stairs.

“Alright, Tommy, Annie, backpacks.” She handed her children their bags as they hugged their dad goodbye.

“Ok kids, let’s go,” you started, trying to shuffle them and Lisa out the door.

“Wait, I don’t get a goodbye hug from Mommy?” Gary asked, now cornering Lisa on the stairs. “Isn’t that the jacket I bought you for your birthday?”

“Okay, we’re going to go now,” you ushered the kids onto the stoop, still keeping one foot in the house as you saw Lisa throw her jacket on the floor.

In one motion, he grabbed Lisa off the stairs, pulled a gun from his waistband, and slammed the front door in your face, kicking you onto the step.

“Gary! Open the door!” You yelled out as you got to your feet, banging on the door. “Right now Gary! Open the door!”

After thirty more seconds of incessant knocking with no response, you turned to find the kids huddled together on the sidewalk.

“Ok guys, it’s okay. My sergeant is just going to talk to your parents for a couple more minutes. While we wait, can you go into your nice neighbors house until I come get you?” You noticed the older woman two houses down standing on the stoop, a young girl and a dog with her.

You walked the kids over quickly while calling this in over the radio. You checked your phone to see Liv had answered your earlier text, and that she was already on her way for backup. She should have just come along in the first place.

Instead of going back up the front steps, you ducked under the bay window to try and get a look inside the house. You could see Munson holding Lisa in a headlock, his gun pointed at Mike as he handed over his own guns.

“Shit,” you breathed out, knowing this was going to end with a gunshot from someone.

You backed away from the window and called Mike, hoping to god that you could try and talk Munson out of this before any patrols showed up.

“Detective, you’re on speaker.” Mike said when he answered, the sigh you let out when you heard his voice was a little too loud.

“Dodds, what’s going on in there? The kids are asking for their mom.”

“Tell them she’s not going anywhere.” Gary piped in, his voice beginning to shake.

“I’ve told Gary that we can talk this through, get him what he wants, what he needs.”

“That’s right, I’m here, listening to you, my Sergeant is listening. Do you want me to call a family member, or your union rep?”

“No, I’m done talking. I want you to get my kids somewhere safe, that is all I need. Now, hang up the phone.”

“Mr. Munson-“ the line went dead before you could finish.

“Dammit,” you ran your hands through your hair, trying to think of a way to slow this down. You ran to the back door, then to the storm door, both locked. He had planned this from the moment he came home. This is always how this was going to end.

Back at the front of the house, you saw Liv pulling up and you ran to meet her.

“What’s going on? I got the radio on the way over.”

“Munson’s holding Dodds and Lisa in the house, he’s armed.”

“You didn’t search him?” She asked, and you tried not to take the agitation in her tone personally.

“Lisa told us there were no weapons in the house, we confiscated his piece already. I was getting the kids in the car when all of this went down.”

“Okay. Is anyone hurt?”

“I spoke to Dodds five minutes ago, and they both seemed fine for now. But he doesn’t want to talk anymore.”

You heard the distant sirens, and you could only imagine the escalation Gary was making inside the house.

“Is there another way in?” Liv asked as the first of the patrol cars made their way down the street.

“Back door and storm door are both locked, I haven’t checked for anything else.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.”

She ran over to the first patrol car, getting ready to set a perimeter around the street and then the house as the rest of ESU began to roll onto the street. Liv kicked it into gear, ordering everyone around and trying to come up with the best plan of action.

It wasn’t until Finn got out of his car that you ran into action to. You began to debrief the hostage negotiators on your last phone call, and to describe Gary’s demeanor through the entire duration of this visit. You stressed to them that he was no longer in the talking mood, but they were still going to try.

“ESU is going to try to plan a route in. You know the layout, what’s the best way in.”

“Fastest and clearest is through the back door. But, Lieutenant, give me two more minutes to find another way in. If I can get in there, one female cop is better than twelve SWAT guys taking him down.” You asked, trying to prove yourself in an attempt to earn her forgiveness quicker.

She thought about it for a moment before slowly nodding her head.

“You have a minute to sweep the perimeter again for a secondary entrance. Go.”

You wasted no time in running back through the driveway, past the back door and into the backyard. All the shades were drawn except for one cracked piece, giving you a clear shot to the living room. Munson had a tighter grip on Lisa, his gun still pointed at Mike.

You had to get in there.

The back windows were locked as well as the doors, but you weren’t going to give up. On the side of the house, you noticed the top window opened the slightest bit, and prepared to go in.

You pulled a lawn chair over to give yourself a boost, and took a deep breath in. The window opened quietly at first, and you could begin to hear Munson’s voice again. Slowly but surely you got the window open in silence, and you swung one leg in to the kitchen.

You froze for a second, stuck without a view of what was going on in the living room, praying no one could hear you. After a few seconds, you swung your other leg in, quickly getting to your feet and grabbing your gun.

“… maybe your lawyer will plea out, 9 out of 10 corrections officers cases don’t make it to trial.” Mike was still trying to talk him out of it, even with a gun to his face.

You peaked around the corner quickly, making sure no one had moved since you looked through the window.

“Munson, drop the gun!” You yelled out as you entered the room, catching him off guard enough for Mike to make a move.

Lisa slipped out of Gary’s grip and ran over to you as Mike struggled for Munson’s gun.

“Put it down, Munson!” You yelled out again, but before you could move closer, a shot went off and Mike went down.

Gary froze, putting his arms up as you ran into action. You kicked the gun away from him as SWAT barged in, all guns pointed to Munson.

“Take him.” You yelled out to them as you turned to Mike, finally able to give him your full attention. You knelt down next to him on the floor, watching as he applied pressure to his shoulder. “Hey, can I take a look?”

He nodded, breathing heavily through his nose. You pulled his hand away as blood continued to pour out, but it was a through and through, thank god.

“It’s a clean shot, Mike.” You said as you placed his hand back over the wound, covering your hand with his to apply more pressure. “Hey, stay with me. The medics are on their way in.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.” He got out with a grimace as Liv led the medics into the house.

“I wasn’t just going to leave you in here.”

You moved out of the medics way, your hands covered in Mike’s blood as they treated him.

“He’s right. What the hell were you thinking climbing in through the window without any view?” Liv asked, slightly less agitated than earlier.

“I was thinking I’m the one who left him in here.” Her eyes softened the slightest, the way they always do when she cares for someone. “And I think you would have done the same thing.”

“Careful,” she replied, a small smile crossing her face. “You don’t want to end up like me.”

“There are worse people to be.”

They finished wrapping Mike up, and you two followed him out to the ambulance.

“Detective,” one of the medics called out to you as they loaded him in. “He’s asking if you can ride along.”

You looked to Liv for approval who gave you a nod.

“Keep us updated.” She added as you hopped in the back of the bus, sending her a thumbs up before they shut the door.

Mike fell asleep almost as soon as he got in the ambulance, but the medic assured you he was stable. He had lost a good amount of blood, but given the position of the shot, they were confident he would be okay.

The surgery was quick, and the doctor said it was a routine procedure. He’s been sleeping and recovering in the ICU for a couple hours, and the rest of the squad would be on their way over once he was awake.

“Detective, he’s awake.” A nurse came out to find you, escorting you to Mike’s room.

He was sitting up straight, arm bandaged from shoulder to elbow, but he looked completely unfazed.

“I come out of a workout class looking worse than you do right now. How is that fair?” You said as you walked into his room.

“Well, I regularly go to the gym, so that helps.” You rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to smack him on his bad shoulder.

“Ok, hotshot, we get it.” You let out a breath, taking in his hospital state again. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got shot. I know it was a through and through, but God, it hurt pretty bad.” He said with a laugh, only to grab at his shoulder, moving too fast for his new injury.

You thought about what he said earlier, how you shouldn’t have gone in the house on your own. Maybe he and Liv were right. If you hadn’t gone in, without telling anyone, without any backup, he may not have been shot. It could’ve ended peacefully, without any harm to anyone.

“What you said earlier, you were right. I don’t know what I was thinking going in by myself. I put you and Lisa in danger, I got you shot. If you didn’t get the jump on him he could have hurt you two even worse-“

“Stop.” Mike interrupted you, placing his hand on your forearm, gesturing for you to sit down on the side of the hospital bed. “I didn’t say that because I was mad at you. I don’t blame you for me getting shot. You shouldn’t have come in because it could have been you in this hospital bed, with a gunshot wound much worse than mine. And I wouldn’t be able to have that on my conscience, you getting yourself shot for me.”

You didn’t say anything for a few seconds, instead you just sat there, looking at the man that you most definitely would have taken a bullet for. And you’re pretty sure he would do the same for you; how terrifying to know someone cared for you like that.

“I’m really glad you’re okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done…” you trailed off, not wanting to think about what could have happened.

“You shouldn’t have come in, but if you hadn’t, I don’t know if I would be sitting here, relatively unscathed.” he reached over, grabbing your hand in his. “Thank you for that.”

You squeezed his hand in recognition as your eyes began to water, not knowing what to say next.

“Are you sure you want to stay with us in SVU? You get shot twice in one year, that would have most people running away.”

“And let you drink the squad room out of coke on your own? Not a chance.” He replied.

“Good. Joint Terrorism would be too boring for you anyway.” You said with a smile.

“In all seriousness, I feel like I can make the biggest difference here. There’s time to move up the ranks later. Right now, I want to be at SVU, with you by my side.” He admitted, as his hand held onto yours tight.

There was a shift in the air, a conversation the two of you had been avoiding for a few months. It wasn’t the time now, and it may not be for a while, but now it’s out there. And neither of you are going anywhere.

A knock on the door pulled you out of your bubble, dropping Mike’s hand as the rest of the squad came into the room. They greeted Mike, lightly ribbing him about having nine lives.

A hand fell on your shoulder, and you looked up to find Liv behind you. She had a knowing smile on her face, but you knew she’d never ask. At least, not yet.

Instead, you focused on your family in the room, and how grateful you were for everyone to be here, safe and sound.

****

The fourth time you saved Mike Dodds happened off duty.

You agreed to be his date to an NYPD fundraising gala that his father was dragging him too. Mike warned you that they were a long night of politics and fake smiles, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little curious to see how the brass lived.

Unfortunately, Mike hit the nail on the head with the political atmosphere. You’d been at the gala barely an hour and you’d already spoken to two people running for district attorney. If you weren’t listening to someone’s campaign pitch, then you were hearing from the brass how much trouble the SVU squad caused the department, despite the “good work” we all do.

“I hate to say I told you so, but, I told you so.” Mike said while handing you a glass of wine.

“How many of these has your dad dragged you to?” You asked as he took a sip of his beer.

“Too many. And now that I’ve ruined his dreams by staying at SVU, he’s going to continue to drag me to them as punishment.”

“Well, if the drinks and the food continue to be free, I’ll come to as many of these as you need me too.” You offered.

“First I’m paying for Chinese food, now I’m paying for galas, you’re an expensive date.” Mike joked as you shoved his completely healed shoulder. He hasn’t let you pay for dinners since he got shot.

“That’s the price you pay for greatness.” You said with a smile, making him laugh. “Is he really still pissed at you for not going to JTTF?”

“The Five-Year Plan has been officially ruined, I’ve been told. I must have really pissed him off if he’s calling Matt and begging him to come home.”

“Your brother?” You asked.

The little brother that Mike had spent his whole life looking out for. He was responsible for him since he was a kid, and every one of Matt’s failures was considered one of Mike’s in his fathers eyes. The last time Mike talked to him was last year, after he picked him up from rehab. He was catching a plane to Mexico City with no plans of coming back.

“He called me last week, asked to help get dad off his back. I guess I’m the new disappointment in the family.”

“Hey, if your dad wants to go play savior with your brother, let him. But don’t let him and his agenda get in your head. He’s no better than these political puppets surrounding us.”

“Speak of the devil,” Mike muttered under his breath, nodding his head behind you.

You turned to find his father, Chief William Dodds, approaching the two of you.

“Hi son,” he greeted Mike with a firm handshake, then turning his attention to you. “Detective. It’s nice to see you.”

“You as well, Chief.” You shook his hand next, resisting the urge to squeeze too hard.

“Don’t you two clean up nice. Most cops that come to these things have no idea how to dress, they’ve spent too much time in the ranks to know what life is like outside of it.” Chief Dodds commented, and you gave a polite nod of your head.

If you didn’t care so much about Mike, or your career, you would’ve chewed his head off right here, right now.

“Well, we don’t have time for all the show business like you guys do, we’re busy keeping the city safe.” Mike added.

“My son, he gets so defensive, takes every comment personally.” His father said and turned towards you. “Mike didn’t tell me you were coming tonight, or else I’m sure he would have asked me to be on my best behavior.”

“Dad,” Mike tried interrupting him, but it was no use.

“But I never thanked you, for acting quickly at the Munson call. If it weren’t for your quick thinking, Mike could have been hurt a lot worse.” You took the compliment from the Chief, but waited for the other shoe to drop; you knew when you were being set up. “Although if you didn’t leave him in there alone with an armed perp in the first place, we could have avoided all of this. Nevertheless, it was handled, and I’m sure you acted just as your Lieutenant trained you to.”

It was no secret that Chief Dodds was not Liv’s biggest fan. He undermined her every chance he could, and he never tried to understand how SVU was different from every other department. Mike being placed as the Sergeant was his way of getting an inside scoop, but boy did that backfire on him.

And once you piss off Olivia Benson, you piss off her whole squad.

“Our Lieutenant is the best commanding officer I’ve had in my time at the department. Ask anyone that has served with her in SVU and they will tell you the same thing. It’s a shame that you didn’t get the opportunity to learn some things yourself. A lot of people hold her in high regard, so I’d be careful what you say about her around here.”

“And if I were you, I’d watch my tone around your District Chief, Detective. Especially with your Sergeant standing in ear shot. It’s clear to me that SVU has no respect for the chain of command, and it would be a shame for you to learn this the hard way. Mike has already had to deal with the repercussions of being tied to SVU.” Chief Dodds threatened, and you actually had the audacity to scoff at him.

Mike began defending you, but you stopped him, holding your hand out in front of him.

“I don’t scare easily, Chief, and it's going to take a lot more than threatening my reputation to get me to turn my back on Lieutenant Benson and Special Victims. As for your son,” you looked back at Mike, his eyes steady on you the entire time. “Sergeant Dodds has been an incredible asset to our squad, so much so that our Lieutenant wanted him to stay in permanently, which I know is a sore spot for your ego. So you can continue to take shots at me, and my character, because you don’t really know me. But I’ll be damned if you think I’m going to stand here and listen to you drag Mike’s name, and his stellar reputation through the mud because he decided to make his own path. One that doesn’t involve all these fancy parties and pictures that you so thoroughly enjoy.”

Chief Dodds was stunned into silence, running a frustrated hand through his hair. He looked at Mike who also had a stunned expression on his face, but a smile was starting to show through.

“Excuse me.” The Chief removed himself from the situation, moving on to the next party goer with a smile on his face.

Once he was out of ear shot, your shoulders deflated and you turned around to apologize to Mike.

“I am so-“

“Do you want to dance?” He interrupted you, his smile now fully covering his face.

It took a few seconds for you to actually hear what he said, and when you did, you couldn’t help but laugh. Clearly, he wasn’t mad about you going off on his father.

“I’d love to.”

Mike took your hand and led you to the small dance floor, weaving in and out of older couples dancing the night away to the orchestra. You quickly took in your limited audience, including two Sergeants from your precinct, and the deputy commissioner of communications. He wrapped his arm around your waist drawing your attention back to him.

“You alright?” He asked as you curled your hand around his shoulder.

“Just a lot of people here, watching,” you said as Mike began to laugh.

“You just chewed my dads head off, a district chief, in front of these people, and now you’re scared of them seeing you dance with two left feet?”

“I don’t have two left feet.” You replied, squeezing his shoulder in jest. “I just don’t want people talking about me, that’s all.”

“Cmon, they’ve got better things to talk about than me and you.”

“If they heard anything I said I’m sure they’ll be talking about the crazy SVU detective for ages.”

“Hey,” he squeezed your waist, drawing your attention back to him. “No one has ever stood up to my dad like that, not for me.”

“Well someone should have. I know he’s your dad and you love him, but that doesn’t give him the right to control your life or talk down on you.”

He shook his head as you continued swaying together, slowing down a bit to match the tempo of the music.

“It means a lot for you to do that. And if I wasn’t so impressed with your outburst, I would’ve done the same for you. I should have.”

“I’m not worth getting into a fight with your Dad, Mike. Like he implied, I’ve got no real future outside of SVU, not that I’m really looking.”

“You’re worth it to me.” Mike said, eyes locked on your own. “If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have made it a week in the squad. You’ve changed my perspective on a lot, both on the job and off.”

You smiled, lightly ducking your head as you felt the blush creep onto your cheeks.

“Well you’re not so bad yourself, Dodds. You’ve taught me a lot too, maybe too much. One day I’m coming for that Sergeant’s shield of yours.” You joked, and he threw his head back in laughter.

It was so nice to see him like this. It was rare to get a moment of pure happiness on the job, and you weren’t sure how honest you wanted to be about changing your relationship outside the precinct.

“As soon as you pass the Sergeants exam, you can have it. You’d be better at this job than me any day.”

You moved a step closer to Mike as more people stepped onto the dance floor. You’d never seen this many cops dancing in your life.

“I meant to tell you earlier, but, you look beautiful tonight.” Mike said, trying not to be obvious in looking you up and down.

You were blushing now for sure.

“Would you take it back if I told you I had to borrow this dress from Liv?” You had panicked last night, not knowing what to wear to a gala, and not wanting to embarrass Mike.

“Not a chance, extra points for trying so hard.” You laughed as he put some space between you.

“Mike, I know you’re a show off, but you better not be doing what I think you’re doing.” You warned, but it was too late as he lifted up your arm, gently spinning you underneath him. He smoothly pulled you back into him as a few people cheered for you. “Do you have to be good at everything?”

“Unfortunately, I do.” You hid your smile in his shoulder, not missing the way his hand slid comfortingly over your waist and lower back.

And unfortunately, you fear you could get used to this feeling.

****

The first time you were saved by Mike Dodds was in the middle of a bar fight.

This wasn’t your finest moment, yet you rarely seemed to be on your best behavior around Dodds.

The two of you were undercover in a joint operation with Vice. The bar had been home to an underground gambling ring for years, and a few weeks ago you got credible intel that they may be branching out into sex trafficking.

Three other Vice detectives were in the bar with you as their Captain and the rest of their squad surveilled from an unmarked van outside.

“You want a refill?” Mike asked as you finished your second club soda, trying to hide the sour look on your face from all the bubbles.

“And pretend I’m not choking on this awful carbonation instead of a smooth vodka? No, I’ll pass.”

He got the bartender’s attention and ordered himself another alcohol free beer and a Diet Coke for you.

“Thanks.” You tipped your glass to his and took a refreshing sip before conducting another once over around the space.

“Simmons is still situated by the door, Ruiz and Lawrence have been under for an hour now.” Mike stated into his earpiece, updating the team outside.

There was no timetable on this, and as far as Liv was concerned, we were on our own in terms of conducting our investigation.

“This whole joint investigation thing is feeling a little one-sided to me.”

“Well give it a little longer before doing a lap to check-in with Simmons. If they don’t want to help us, they can tap in two of their guys from outside. Lieu already made that clear to their Captain.” Mike said before taking a sip of his non-alcoholic delight, his face scrunching in discomfort.

“Looks delicious.” You said with a smile, earning a laugh from the Sergeant. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, have you talked to your dad since the gala a few weeks ago?”

“Oh, you mean since that SVU detective tore a Department Chief to shreds?” He joked as you rolled your eyes. “I have, and he was extremely talkative thanks to the fact I avoided him for a week after.”

“Do I owe you Chinese food for the rest of the year in order to keep my job? I should know that my outbursts don’t come cheap.”

“He told me that he was impressed by you.” Mike started, a smile slowly appearing on his face. “He was mostly upset about your blatant insubordination, especially in such a public place, but he was impressed. I think he may even like you.”

“Are you messing with me?” You asked, not fully trusting the relaxed smile he was giving you.

“He asked that I bring you along to the next gala, all of them actually, ‘if it wouldn’t be too much trouble’,” he finished in air quotes, signifying the direct words from Chief Dodds. “My father is impressed with you, and probably wants you to be his next conversational opponent.”

“And what did you say, you know, about bringing me along?”

You hoped you didn’t sound pathetic, or eager, or anything other than an inquiring friend. But it was hard to act normal when you felt the butterflies in your stomach and your heart rate increasing over the fact that Mike and his dad were talking about you.

“I said I’d have to ask her. Not sure how she feels about spending so much of her free time with the Dodds.” He said before turning in his chair to face you. “But I told him I had a good feeling you would, you don’t just tell off a Police Chief for a work friend. And of course, as long as Liv lets you keep borrowing her clothes.”

“Funny,” you said while shoving his shoulder, earning another laugh from him. It was then that you saw Ruiz head up the stairs, subtly motioning for you to meet her in the bathroom. “Ruiz is back up, I’m gonna go check-in with her.”

You walked straight to the bathroom, having to dodge a noisy bachelorette party on your way. Ruiz was washing her hands when you walked in, and you quickly cleared all the stalls before she began talking.

She kept it short so that she could get back to the game, but they weren’t getting far on the sex trafficking front. Apparently the boss was going to be here later on, but even then there was no guarantee he would offer anything up. Their investigation, of course, was going to be handled by the end of the night, but there were no promises for us.

You waited a full three minutes to exit after Ruiz in case anyone was watching her. When you left the bathroom and started making your way back to Dodds, you saw a Blonde woman sitting in your seat, cozying up next to him at the bar. As you got closer, you recognized her from the bachelorette group, a sparkly pink sash giving her away.

“Hey, everything okay?” Mike asked as you joined the two of them.

“Yeah, just a bit of a line in the bathroom.” You said, watching as the new girl continued to look Mike up and down. “Did you make a new friend?”

“I’m Alex!” She jumped in, big smile covering her face as she moved to place a hand on Mike’s arm. “I came up to get a round of shots for my group of friends. It’s Lizzie’s last weekend as a single woman, and we cannot let her be sober for one second of it. But then I got distracted by Mike over here - a guy as handsome as him shouldn’t be sitting alone at a bar.”

“Well, luckily I came back in the nick of time.” You said, hoping she would order her shots and be on her way.

“I was telling him about our weekend - we’re down here from Albany, we’re not city girls. We’re headed down the street for our next stop, apparently there’s a popular karaoke bar that all the famous people stop in at. I told Mike he should come with us, invite a few of his cute friends along too to keep the party going.”

“I don’t really see him joining you for the rest of your night, Alex, but thanks for the invite.” You replied while taking a step toward Mike, lightly wrapping your arm around his shoulder, hoping she would take a hint.

“Okay.” Alex said with a chuckle before continuing, “But you should be careful, leaving your man alone in a bar with those pretty brown eyes of his, cause someone’s gonna come up and take him away.”

“His eyes are hazel, actually, they’ve got a little bit of green in them depending on the lighting. I know it might be hard for you girls from upstate to differentiate colors, so I can help you out.”

You never considered yourself to be a jealous person, especially over someone who wasn’t even yours to have. But something about this girl coming up to Mike on this night, after the recent events that have gone down between the two of you, you felt a little protective over him.

“Everything alright over here Alex? Where are those tequila shots?” Another blonde woman with a pink sparkly sash came over to us, checking in on her friend and drinks.

“Yeah, they’re coming. Just trying to tell my new friend here to keep an eye on her boyfriend or he may decide to join the group of pretty out of town girls for the night.”

“Listen, Alex,” you remove yourself from Mike, taking a step closer to the girl who was really ruining your already shittiy night of undercover work. “I don’t know how bar etiquette works at your little townie spot up in Albany, but us city girls like to take the fight outside.”

“Alright, why don’t we just continue our night and let you girls go back to your party.” Mike interjected, feeling his hand on your lower back, steadying you out as Alex only laughed.

You took another step toward her, not knowing what your next move was, before the bartender stepped in.

“You,” he pointed to you, then to the door. “Fighting’s gonna get you thrown out any night lady. You’re done.”

“Thank you, sir,” the girls replied.

Before you could open your mouth to say anything else, Mike was standing behind you, arm wrapped around your waist to lead you toward the exit. Simmons eyed the two of you as you walked out, shaking his head with a smile on his face. You weren’t going to live this down.

The two of you made it down the block before breaking away from each other, looking back to see if anyone followed. When you looked back at Mike, his hands were on his hips, a growing smile on his face.

“Don’t,” you warned while running a hand through your hair. “Don’t say anything.”

He didn’t, but he couldn’t keep his laughter in any longer. You wanted to yell at him, tell him it wasn’t funny, that there was still an investigation going on, and this was completely embarrassing for you both. Instead, you joined in his laughter.

“Were you really going to fight the innocent bachelorette party from Albany?” He asked through his fits of laughter as you rolled your eyes.

“Of course not. But how else was I supposed to get the drunk bridesmaid away from you so we could continue our surveillance? Offer her more sparkles?”

“Or offer to buy the next round of shots.”

“Now you tell me,” you said as you leaned against the side of the building. “At least we didn’t mess up the whole op, then I’d be in really deep shit not only with Liv but with Vice, and there’s nothing I hate more than owing a favor to a Vice cop.”

He nodded, agreeing with you as he settled in next to you. You knew you should go check in with the Captain, confirm they don’t need you for anything else before leaving the investigation, but you weren’t going to move until Dodds did. And the way he relaxed next to you, you had a feeling he didn’t want to leave any time soon.

“No one ever notices that my eyes are hazel, you know. It’s kind of weird how you hit the nail right on the head with the fact about them turning green.”

You turned to look at him, a little smirk on his face as he leaned his head back against the wall.

“As weird as talking to your dad about your close friend’s gala availability?” You hit back, watching him laugh and nod along with your point. You smiled to yourself for a second, remembering the conversation from earlier. “You’re sure I don’t owe you, he does like me, or at least tolerate me?”

“Do you want to talk about how much my dad likes you or how much I like you? Cause let me tell you, I’ve got him beat by miles, I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone.”

“Mike,” you started, watching as he pushed himself up to stand in front of you.

“Are you really going to look into my hazel eyes and tell me you don’t like me? That you weren’t going to get in a bar fight with a random girl for me?” He asked, and you let out a shaky breath.

“You know it took me a while to figure out your eyes were hazel, I thought they were brown for a while. I’m not some crazy person who just studies people’s eyes all day.” He nodded, trying to hide his smile as he let you finish, “and I wasn’t going to get in a fight with her. Maybe, maybe I would have shoved her, but I wouldn’t have thrown a punch.”

“Well that’s reassuring.” Mike added, and you couldn’t deny him now. Not when he was listening to you ramble on about his eyes, and his father, and all the weird things you two knew about each other.

“I like you too.” You confessed. “And you’re right, I wouldn’t attend galas and tell off police chiefs for just anyone. I’d only do it for you, Mike.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” He said while wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you close.

Mike’s eyes flickered down to your lips, taking his time bringing his gaze back to your eyes. You felt yourself nod the slightest bit, gently guiding him closer to you. His lips were soft against your own, slow and gentle as you kissed him back. He pulled away for a second, another check-in, before you leaned in again. You let him take the lead as you ran your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, trying not to smile as you felt his teeth graze your bottom lip.

“Sorry,” he mumbled against you, lightly pecking your lips a few times.

“Don’t be, I’m not going anywhere.”

Hours could have been spent lazily kissing Mike Dodds, feeling your stomach slowly build with butterflies. But you caught the smile he was trying to suppress, and it became contagious.

“Well,” he said with a laugh, gently resting his forehead against yours. “I guess you do really like me.”

“I guess so.” You leaned back to kiss him again, not wanting to let him go now that you know how good he feels. His tongue danced across your lips for a few seconds, and you relished in the feeling before slowly pulling back. “I don’t mean to be a total buzzkill, but we aren’t exactly going to be able to hide this for long at the station.”

“We’ll figure it out.” He assured you, gently kissing your forehead. “If some shuffling needs to be done, or conversations need to be had, we’ll take care of it.”

“So your dad may get to move you around after all, how nice.” You said with a laugh, as Mike nodded. If it meant you could be together, and Mike was happy with it, why the hell not.

Before he could say anything else on the subject, his phone began to ring.

“Please don’t be Liv, please don’t be Liv,” you begged as Mike pulled away from you, quickly answering his phone.

“Hey Lieutenant,” he greeted Liv on the other end of the call and you closed your eyes. This was going to be good. “No, the Captain got it wrong. She got us thrown out for threatening to fight another woman.”

You rolled your eyes as he continued to talk to Liv, pacing the sidewalk trying to set the story straight and wrap up this godforsaken joint investigation.

Mike pulled the phone away from his ear now, walking back over to you.

“She wants to talk to you.” He said, trying to hand you his phone.

“No, she’s going to yell at me in that Liv tone, when I didn’t really do anything wrong!”

You caught his small smile before he gave you a quick kiss.

“Then you can explain that to her.” He said, holding out the phone to you. He kissed you one more time, for good luck and courage, before placing the phone in your hand.

You tried to hide your smile as you took a breath and placed the phone to your ear, ready to plead your case.

“Hey Lieu, I did not get into a bar fight with the bridesmaid from Albany.”

****

#mike dodds #mike dodds x female!reader #mike dodds x reader #mike dodds fic #law and order svu #law and order: svu #law and order svu fanfiction #law and order svu fanfic

38 notes · View notes

danny-pino-group-therapy · 8 months

Text

I Hate You

Nick Amaro x Reader Oneshot

WC: 1091

A/N: Self Indulge fic. I like winter but damn it’s cold this year! The snow and chemicals are leaving me a mess and my floors a mess and I’d rather not deal with it at all. Only thing to make it better would be Nick. Enjoy! Please let me know what you think with likes/comments/reblogs whatever.

It was another blustery and frigid cold day in NYC as you stepped out of your building only to be met with a large puddle of melted snow so deep it got into your ankle boot soaking your socks and growl in frustration.

“Son of a bitch.” You continued to grumble.

You had grown tired of the New York winters long ago after Nick had moved off to California leaving you both in a long distance relationship but you without someone to share the house with, share a romantic stroll in Central Park through the snow with, or a cuddle on the sofa with. Now it’s just dull, grey, and incredibly cold…and currently very wet and annoying.

Looking to your watch you didn’t even have time to go back upstairs to change your sock and shoes or you’d be late for work.

Olivia had called and told you to be at the prescient promptly at eight so there was no time to hesitate.

Heading off you walked on, your boot sloshing and freezing before someone drove too close to the curb in the drain and splashed a mix of chemicals and slushy snow all over you taking your breath away at the blast of cold.

“F-fu-fuck.” You stuttered and gasped before turning and flipping your middle finger at the driver.

Finally arriving at the prescient, soaked, frozen and a sloshing boot, you put your case down at your desk with a huff and yanked off your scarf and jacket before spying Olivia coming over.

“You’re two minutes late.” She teased, not that she cared about two minutes.

“I had some trouble, okay?” You replied sharply, not really meaning to but you were throughly annoyed.

“Woah…alright. I can take a hint. I just thought you’d like to know we caught your perp you’ve been chasing. He’s in two.” Olivia tilted her head towards the room.

“Thanks Liv.” You said with an apologetic tone before rushing off towards the interrogation room not even bothering to take care of your boot or anything yet.

Opening the door you quickly walked in.

“Couldn’t hide forever…” you started before you looked up and straight to Nick’s hazelnut eyes. “N-Nick…”

“You’re right, I couldn’t stay hidden forever.” He flashed his famous smirk before opening his arms and you began to tear up coming to him, flinging yourself into his chest and burying your face into his neck taking a deep shuttering breath.

“I h-hate you.” You mumbled as tears dropped to his shoulder and he chuckled.

“What? Hey…hey what did I do? Hermosa why do you hate me and why are you crying huh?” He pulled you back just enough to cup your face gently in your hands, glancing over your face with concern.

“Because here you are…sun kissed skin, glowing even more than usual and you get to go home to Southern California while I get to stay here in crumby freaking New York City with forty more years of winter.” You took a deep breath and gathered yourself.

Nick laughed before leaning in and capturing your lips in a tender kiss. “I missed you…I actually came here to spend the week with you but I have a better idea.” You furrowed your brows wondering just what your boyfriend could be up to.

“You’re soaked mi amor.” He purred as he got a look at you. “Come on, you’re going home and changing then we’re going to cuddle and get you thawed out.” He flashed his knee weakening smile.

Later after arriving back at your place you had curled up with Nick and some cocoa under a cozy blanket.

“So I wanted to ask you something baby.” Nick asked softly breaking the comfortable silence.

“Yeah? You didn’t come across the country to sit with me under a blanket did you?” You hummed cuddling into his side feeling his lips press a kiss to your head.

“Mm no, not exactly but it’s a nice benefit. I get to warm my baby up.” He hummed wrapping his arm around you bringing you closer if it were possible. “I came to ask if you’d consider moving in with me.” He asked hesitantly, worried he’d be rejected. It wasn’t often something worked out for Nick Amaro and he had hoped after three years together and a year of long distance that this relationship worked out, that you’d live with him, move across the country with him.

You turned sat up a bit, looking to him, eyes searching his for any hint that he could be joking but found none. “Y-you’re….you're serious?”

“I…I mean…well yeah I was hoping so.” He said with a little waver in his voice worried he pressed too fast. “You hate winter. I miss you so much. Like really miss you. I want you to be with me and the kids. They miss you too. There’s nothing like having you in bed beside me every night and waking up with you in the morning. The sun shining on your hair and how cute you look with your mouth open and a little bit of drool.” He chuckled when you shoved him.

“I don’t drool, Amaro!” You shot back.

“You do! I can’t help it. I wipe it off with my thumb and you mumble before snuggling to my chest. It’s the most precious thing.” He laughed but looked over you with the most loving tender smile. “Amor…hermosa, I miss you so fucking much. Please? Will you come to California with me?”

You never thought about leaving NYC for real, but the opportunity never had presented itself, well never a real opportunity. It wasn’t an opportunity for Nick to come back to live here, his family and career had him there now and he loved it but the only piece missing was you. He just needed you.

You hated winter, if you wanted to see snow it wasn’t that far to go and see it to play for a day or two and ski but you wouldn’t have to deal with it daily, endlessly.

“Yes. Yes I’d love to. There’s nothing else I’d love to do more.” You cuddled back to Nick but kissed him deeply as he held your face and kept his forehead close.

“I love you so much. I can’t wait to have you with me daily again. To start our lives together in a whole new chapter.” He smirked against your lips knowing he had an even bigger question in store for you once you had moved in and settled in California with him.

#nick amaro #nick amaro x reader #winter #writer #fanfic #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #danny pino #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic writer #fanfiction #nick amaro fanfic #Oneshot #nick amaro Oneshot

116 notes · View notes

australiancarisi · 2 months

Text

A little drabble that was written on my phone.

No idea how many words

I’ll reformat and check it later i just wanted to post it heheheh

Bruno x reader

“If you don’t stop staring they are gonna know something is up”

“No they won’t”

“Yes they will”

“No they won’t”

“Terry-“

“I’m not even staring at you”

“Yes you are and Fin is already suss on the two of you” Velasco said sitting down at his desk opposite you. You glared at Bruno who just grinned at you.

“Honestly it’s like you want to get caught” Velasco smirked at him. Bruno just shrugged and went back to work. You quickly looked over your shoulder to Olivia’s office. She and Fin were talking about something thankfully with the door shut so they didn’t hear this whole thing. You and Bruno started dating only a month ago and you planned on keeping it a secret until you were ready to tell Liv. However Velasco has a habit of not knocking apparently and caught the two of you sharing a moment in the cribs after a particularly hard case.

In his defence, he doesn’t normally need to knock to go into the cribs.

“Bruno I swear to God” you felt his eyes on you again. You grabbed a stress ball you had on your desk, one that was kept there mostly for the boys to fidget with, and threw it straight at his head.

Luckily for Bruno he ducked the ball. Unluckily for you it happened to hit Detective Stabler. With an amused look on his face, Elliot bent down and grabbed the ball.

“Detectives” he tossed the ball at you.

“Sorry Stabler” you apologised as he headed towards Liv’s office. You waited until you heard the click of the door shutting before turning back to Bruno. “No sex for the rest of the week”

“WHAT?!”

“You heard me” you shrugged and turned back to your computer. Velasco let out a laugh and got up from his desk leaving a stunned Bruno, who just continued to stare at you.

//\\//\\//\\

“Your children are acting weird” Elliot said after he shut the door to Olivia’s office.

“What?”

“Your children” he point with his thumb back out to the bullpen “they are being weird”

“Bruno and y/n?” Fin asked

“Yeah”

“Don’t worry about them” Liv waved him off “They are ‘secretly dating’ but I don’t know who they are trying to fool. I think they are forgetting we’ve been detectives since they were in diapers” she used her fingers for the air quotes around secretly dating.

“They ain’t doing a good job of hiding it” Fin smirked “No one at this precinct is good at hiding feelings for there partners”

“We’re just waiting for them to hurry up and disclose. Carisi and 1PP are already aware, it’s in their files and I updated their emergency contact to be each other” Olivia said ignoring Fin’s comment.

“They’ll tell us when they are ready”

#law and order svu imagines #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #terry bruno x reader #terry bruno imagines #terry bruno fanfic

24 notes · View notes

storiesofsvu · 1 year

Text

Plea Deals

Elana Barth x reader warnings: language, smut, mommy kink, praise, begging. Covers a square for @prentiss-theorem 's bingo! Will potentially get a follow up piece, we'll see how motivated I am and how well this one does lol.

You’d known Elana for years, she’d consulted on a few of your cases, been a sounding board when she wasn’t the residing judge, prosecuting cases in her courtroom was nothing new to you. What was new to you was going up against her while she was defence counsel, seeing her strutting into the precinct in a fitted suit, rather than the usual modest robes. You were more than well aware that she’d stepped down from the bench post divorce, going back into criminal defence, but the entire attitude shift had taken you by surprise and it was safe to say that it got you more than a little flustered.

You managed to make your way through the first couple of stages with minor incidents, catching yourself before she could catch you and realize that your eyes were lingering on her hands, lips, hips, the curve of her chest daring to spill over the top of her shirt. You only fumbled over a couple of responses and held your own when it came time for arraignment, thankful to retreat to your office in peace to start on research and paperwork.

That of course, was until tonight.

You’d been working late, leaving the office much later than normal when your assistant finally returned with a handful of warrants and other paperwork you’d need to hand off to the defence. After flipping through them you realized Elana would likely need them tonight, or at the very least, want them sooner rather than later and rerouted your cab to her address.

“Well isn’t this a surprise.” She greeted with a smile when she pulled open the apartment door, her eyes slowly dragging up your body.

“Shit. Sorry, I should’ve called.” You did your best to ignore the fact that she’d already gotten rid of her blazer, the sleeveless blouse underneath exposing most of her collarbone, dipping down far enough you could almost make out the lace of her bra peeking from underneath it. Your own gawking distracting you from the level of gaze she had on you, “I just figured you’d want these before Monday.”

“It’s not a worry.” She replied, stepping back from the door, “come in.” You followed her into the apartment, letting the door swing shut behind you before she swiftly locked it, guiding you into the kitchen. “I just opened a bottle of wine, care for a glass?”

“Uh, sure.” You smiled across at her, letting out a low breath as you glanced around, now knowing you were alone together. Your bag found a home on one of the island stools while Elana poured out your wine, sliding the glass to you.

“Now what have you got for me that was so important it couldn’t wait?” She asked, raising a brow in your direction before taking a sip of her drink. There was a near teasing tone in her voice, she was sure whatever you had wasn’t something she was in dire need of, but the idea of you showing up at her apartment after sundown was one she’d been trying to figure out how to make happen for a while now.

“What?” Your brow scrunched, having completely forgotten why you’d come over in the first place, distracted by her before you remembered, “oh!” You quickly dug through your bag, pulling out the paperwork, “just a couple warrant copies, statements, witness list.”

“Hmm.” She accepted the papers from you, her eyes scanning through the text as she slowly flipped through them, leaving you to drink your wine in silence.

You took the opportunity to slip onto a spare stool, resting an elbow on the island as your eyes searched through her apartment, taking a moment to soak in how she decorated her private space. It was tidy, not too luxurious but very evident she had taste, you could see her blazer slung over the back of the couch, a take out container on the coffee table while the television softly droned on in the background. You began to wonder if you’d interrupted her dinner when she spoke suddenly.

“You need to relax.” She murmured softly and you whipped your head around to face her.

“What?”

“I said you need to relax.” She chuckled, “take your coat off, get comfortable. I did invite you in for a drink after all.”

You nodded, slipping the blazer off your shoulders, draping over the stool beside you with your bag as she continued to look through the files. Picking up your wine glass again you took a couple more sips, letting the liquor soothe through your body, your shoulders dropping as you began to take her words into consideration, relaxing with a soft sigh.

“The case isn’t stressing you out is it?” She asked, cocking a brow at you over the top of the file.

“No.” You shook your head, “I’m just drained, it’s been a long week with a heavy work load.”

“Hmm. Poor girl,” Her gaze turned back to the paperwork while her hand picked up her glass of wine, a small silence overtaking the room for a moment, “I do have to say, I’ve been impressed with your work so far. You did spectacularly at the voir dire and you’ve held your own when it comes to level of charges. You always seemed so nervous in my courtroom when I was on the bench, even if you were only up against a public defender.”

“Oh.” You let out a nervous laugh, “well, I mean.. you know how it is. Prosecutor wants to impress the judge, do a good job, get justice and all.”

“Mmm.” A grin snuck onto her lips, “yes, prosecutors do tend to thrive when praised.” You felt a blush creeping up the back of your neck, wondering just how much you should be reading into her words, hoping she couldn’t tell as you hid behind your glass of wine, shifting in your seat. “So I suppose you’re here to talk about plea deals?” She switched back to a more professional tone, tossing the folders down onto the island, “I’d be willing to settle for unlawful disposal of a body.”

“Oh come on.” You laughed, shaking your head at the smirk on her lips, the fact that she knew she was never going to get away with that, she was enjoying taunting you. “Murder two.”

“Man two.”

“I’d maybe be willing to plead you out to murder three, anger management, counselling and medication.”

“Hmph.” She took a sip of her wine, stepping towards you until she was so close you could feel her breath on your skin when she leant in, “if you want that, I want to hear you beg…”

You took a heavy breath, your eyes fluttering closed for a brief second while her perfume invaded your senses and suddenly she was all you could think about. You titled your head in her direction, catching her gaze still on you, head tilted and a near predatory look in her eyes.

“I don’t think we’re talking about work anymore...”

“Why bother when there are so many other beneficial things we could be doing right now?” Two of her fingers curled under your chin, tilting your face up to her, “if you happen to be interested?” She laughed, “though I’m sure you are, this paperwork easily could have waited until Monday, you could have sent it to my office, sent your paralegal, but you chose to bring your pretty self all the way over here instead.”

“Yes.” You nodded, probably a little too eagerly, “very interested.”

“That’s my good girl.” She practically cooed, smirking at the way your eyes widened, the way your lips parted, ever so slightly surprised at the quick praise. “But like you said, you aim to please, to impress, right?”

“Yes ma’am.” You breathed, barely able to find your voice at the change in demeanour.

“You’ll probably do whatever it is mommy asks, won’t you?” She chuckled softly when your eyes widened once again, “well, c’mere.” She crooked her fingers at you and you swiftly slipped off the stool, stepping toward her. Your breath hitched in your throat when her arm wrapped around your waist, her other hand sliding up your arm, fingertips tickling at your skin until it was cupping your cheek.

There was only a moment to prepare yourself before her lips were on yours and you let out a relaxed sigh into the kiss. Elena’s thumb gently stroked at your cheek as your lips moved together with grace, you could feel her other hand sneaking underneath the hem of your shirt, trailing across your back softly. Her tongue traced the seam of your lips and you were quick to part them, giving her access to your mouth as she completely dominated the kiss. She tugged you closer to her, almost rutting her hips against you and you let out a little whine that she swallowed down quickly, her lips curving up into a grin against yours.

Her hands settled on your hips, holding you tightly while her tongue explored your mouth, small moans murmuring through the room, trying to break free. Elana nipped at your lip, earning a whimper from you as she smirked, finally breaking the kiss for her lips to trace across your jawline and tease their way down your neck. She nuzzled across your pulse point, tongue sliding over your sensitive skin.

“Please…” you murmured, feeling yourself practically melting into her touch.

“Please what?” She purred back, her lips brushing against your skin when she spoke, “use your words pretty girl.”

“Please touch me.” You whined back and she chuckled, her hands pinching at your waist.

“I am touching you.” She taunted and you huffed.

“More. Please mommy…”

“Mmm..” her teeth nipped at your pulse point and you let out a gasp, “I was right, you do sound pretty when you beg.” Her hands ghosted up your sides, thumbs landing right under your and your body surged toward her touch, earning a chuckle from her before her thumbs brushed over your chest, flicking at your nipples through your clothing.

“More…” you repeated, a hint of frustration in your voice that Elana smirked at as she pulled away from the crook of your neck, glancing down at you with a hungry look in her eyes. She repeated the motion across your chest, thumbs searching out your nipples as they rubbed across your body before she pinched both of them, a gasp breaking free of your lips. Her eyes shot down as you shifted, rubbing your thighs together in an attempt to get some form of relief, maybe even just friction.

“Oh sweetheart.” Her hands trailed back down your sides again, “I think what you really want is mommy touching that pretty little pussy, isn’t it?”

“Fuck…” you could feel your heart hammering in your chest, looking up at her wide eyed as you nodded, “yes. Please god yes.”

“Well then let’s get you to the bedroom, hmm?”

It was a flurry of movement down the hallway as Elana half guided half dragged you in the direction of her room while her hands roamed around your body, your lips searching the other’s out whenever there was a spare moment. The door swung shut behind you and she was stripping your clothes off you, fingertips leaving goosebumps across your skin as she began to explore, her lips either on yours or making home in the crook of your neck. Her teeth nibbled at your skin, tongue lapping across the bite marks, sucking at the spot and you knew you would be left with a mark the next day. Somewhere between peeling your clothes off and tossing your bra to the floor Elana managed to slip out of her own clothes, leaving her in her lingerie as she nudged you toward the bed.

“Lie back.” She purred, her fingers curling under the waistband of your panties as you did so, effectively tugging them down your legs. “So gorgeous.”

Elana pressed a kiss to the inside of your ankle before her hands slid up your legs, parting them wide for her to kneel between. Her hands softly rubbed at your thighs, getting you used to her touch as she watched the way your breathing picked up, how your eyes were already fluttering and she’d barely touched you. Her eyes flicked down to your pussy, a smirk breaking out on her lips before she leant forward, cupping you.

“This wet already?” She taunted, “we’ve barely started.”

“Need you.” You replied with a whine.

“You wanted me to touch you, right?” Her hand ground against you and you gasped, “well I’m touching you.”

Your hips rocked up toward her, rutting against her hand, a gasp escaping your lips as your clit ground into the heel of her hand. She leant over you, her free hand groping at your chest, rolling the tender flesh between her fingers as you began to writhe underneath her. You could feel yourself getting wetter, your pussy fluttering around nothing as your juices began to smear all over her hand. She let out a low laugh,

“Needy thing you are tonight.”

“Want you.” You replied, “need your fingers.”

“Where?” She asked, slowly dragging her hand up and down through your folds, barely daring to spread them open for her. “Just like this?” She watched as your breath hitched, your hands clawing at the bedspread in frustration.

“No.” You whined particularly loudly this time, “more!”

“I told you sweetheart; I want to hear you beg. Where do you want my fingers? I could stuff them in that gorgeous mouth of yours, have you get them nice and wet?”

“No!” You huffed, “need them in me.”

“So you do want them in your mouth?” She asked with a tease, daring to remove her hand from between your legs and you protested with a cry.

“Need them in my pussy!” You felt like your entire body was about to burst into flame, carnal desire tickling just under the surface of your skin. You were naked on her bed, you needed Elana to touch you, to really touch you, feel the way you could wrap around her fingers.

“Ah..” She gently swatted at your cunt, “there we go. You do want them here.” This time she traced her fingertips through your folds, spreading them apart, her middle finger daring to dip into you.

“Please…” you quietly whined, “please mommy. Need you to fuck me like this.”

“Yeah?” She sunk a single finger in, pulling a gasp from you as your back arched off the bed, “oh you really like this.”

“Mmhmm.”

She continued to slowly thrust the one finger in and out of you, feeling the way you were already pulsing around her, little gasps and moans leaving your lips, your hips chasing after the touch whenever she pulled it outwards. Deciding to give you more of what you wanted she slipped a second finger in, twirling the two of them around, reaching every inch of your inner walls.

“Oh god…”

“That feel good?”

“Yes..” you moaned, “oh fuck… don’t stop.”

Elana pumped her fingers faster, with more purpose, reaching deeper within you as your moans and groans got louder, your body shivering on the bed. Your juices were smeared all over her hand, leaking down her wrist and she knew you could take it, adding a third finger into your tight cunt. You let out a gasp, your hips jolting up toward her,

“Fuuck..”

“You want me to keep going?” She asked, nearly slowing her fingers and you whined.

“God yes. Please!”

“Just like this?” She replied, her fingers thrusting in and out of you with only a slight twirl, “or how about this?” She curled her fingers that time, hitting the overly sensitive spot inside your cunt and you cried out.

“Oh fuck! Right there!”

“Right there what?” She asked with a smirk, her hand stilling while her fingertips pressed the same spot and you whimpered.

“Do that again. Please!” You moaned and she thrust her hand again, curling her fingers with each pass over your g-spot. “Yes! Oh god yes! Just like that…”

“Just this? Or would you like me to make you come?”

“Fuck.” You moaned, her words were nearly enough to get you off, but the feeling of her fingers deep inside your pussy was enough to drive you wild. The coil inside you curling tighter and tighter as your chest heaved, pleasure soaring through you. “Please, please…pleeease! Make me come.”

“I knew you wanted to be a good little pet and come for mommy.” She cooed.

She continued to plunge her fingers in and out of your wet cunt, curling with each thrust to hit right where you wanted. Her other hand pressed on your lower stomach, thumb reaching your clit to rub at it, starting slow and soft and working up to hard and fast. Your thighs were threatening to close around her as they trembled, your body shaking on the bed, hands gripping into the blankets as your moans got louder. Pleasure skyrocketed through you, your toes curling, hips shooting up off the bed and stilling as you hit your orgasm. Your cunt clenched down around her fingers, juices dribbling down them, leaking all the way down her wrist.

“Fuck!”

“Good girl.” She praised, her thumb brushing over your clit once more and you trembled, your breath shuddering as your body fell back into the bed. Elana kept her fingers pumping inside your wetness, slowing them down, fucking you through your orgasm until you’d finally caught your breath, no longer shaking in aftershocks. Pulling her fingers from your dripping pussy she brought them up to her mouth, lips wrapping around them while she let out a happy hum, sucking them clean. “Mmmm….”

“Christ…” You muttered, still panting as she dropped over you, caging you into the bed, “that was something else.”

“Oh sweetheart I am far from done.” She pressed a kiss to your lips, “you looked so pretty coming on my fingers I need to know just how much you’ll beg to come around my cock.”

___________________

@anya-casablanca @mickey-gomez @swimmingstudentchaos891 @momlifebehard @baubeautyandthegeek @svushots @onmykneesformarvel @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @thatesqcrush @plaidbooks @witches-unruly-heart

#elana barth #elana barth x reader #law and order svu #svu #law and order #law and order special victims unit #raeswritingbingo #elana barth smut #elana barth one shot #law and order svu fanfic

93 notes · View notes

serenasoutherlyns · 6 months

Text

entangled

Another moan, another, another, until they were ringing in her ears, pride rose inside her.

cabenson. explicit. ao3.

This is a terrible idea.

So, what if it was? Olivia was always going to let this happen. As she tumbled into Alex’s bed, working at buttons, and zippers, and sleeves, she felt the acute wrong rightness of it all: Alex’s teeth on her collarbone, Alex’s hands in her hair, their hurried breaths filling the air.

So, it didn’t need to be a big deal. Inevitable. Like any other one-night stand. Who hasn’t done it before? Even Olivia had (no regrets there).

When Alex looked at her after, her eyes dark, Olivia felt a glowing warmth in her chest.

Olivia on her back in the moonlight, her hair a mess, the sheets equally so underneath her.Alex moved against her deftly and gently, Olivia twisting and crying out. A long deep moan followed by a satisfied sound, then another, then the slowing of her breath, Alex rolled her neck out. She kissed her not-so-gently, and set about touching her again, all over, everywhere so, so sensitive. Olivia almost whined, half overwhelmed. Another moan, another, another, until they were ringing in her ears, pride rose inside her. Olivia pulled at the roots of her untidy ponytail as she gasped again.

There had to be ground rules.

When once turned into twice, into five times, it was time to set them. Purely casual. No sleeping over, no work talk, no planning to see each other, and absolutely no meeting in public.

Any time they were both free was up for grabs, which meant most of the time they called after midnight. Two insomniacs, quite matched. And how matched they were. Olivia was having the best sex of her life. Alex was a quick study, memorizing what Olivia liked and giving it to her without fail. Alex, for her part, seemed satisfied.

Alex woke at Olivia’s. “Good morning,” Olivia said from across the room. She was in a camisole and tight shorts.

“Good morning to you.”

ii.

“It’s been getting to me.” Olivia said into the dark room.

“What has?”

“This case.”

“Me too,” said Alex, cautiously volunteering her own exasperation.

iii.

“Come over tonight.” Alex looked up from her work. She set down her pencil. She considered whether to comment on it.

“Okay,” she said.

iv.

”I’m down the street. Meet me?”

“I,” said Olivia, “sure.” The bar was dim. They had one drink. A typical night and all but.

So, so much for rules. One morning turned into two mornings, turned into five. Mornings turned into coffee, coffee turned into breakfast, breakfast turned back into sex. Olivia’s head would pop into her office and Alex would respond with a silent affirmative nod. Olivia would meet Alex at the bar after work, and suddenly they were doing it on regular evenings. Alex found herself sharing more about herself and found Olivia opening up to her.

One night, a bottle of wine shared, Alex let herself melt into Olivia’s arms. When she woke up, they were still on the couch, entangled.

It had to stop.

Olivia came to the resolution. She was agitated all day after the couch incident. Alex had fit so comfortably into her, she slept well despite her crumpled position, she hadn’t wanted Alex to leave in the dawn. That couldn’t happen. It would make things far too complicated.

Alex took it exceedingly well, disturbingly, irritatingly well if she was honest. A simple agreement. She wished Olivia well. Nothing really changed at work, nothing had in the first place. Emptier nights. Olivia was familiar with the feeling. She found ways to fill them. Yet, there was a longing.

Olivia on her hands and knees in front of her, Alex setting a fast rhythm. She felt a bead of sweat on her back. Olivia was clearly feeling every inch. Her arms shook.

“Just let go,” Alex said. Olivia did. She let out a guttural sound and let herself drop. Alex dropped too, angling herself to reach even deeper, to pull out longer moans, until all she was hearing were Olivia’s shallow breaths and her own quick ones.

Olivia apologized for the state of her sheets. Alex relaxed back and stretched her hands above her head.

Alex woke up sweating.

Neither of them accounted for chance. Staying late, the only two in the elevator. They couldn’t keep their hands off of one another. Alex had her against the wall in seconds, panting raggedly. Wordless, they rushed to Olivia’s closer apartment where clothes and hands went flying.

“Can we do this?” Alex asked when things calmed.

“Can you?” Olivia asked. “I can keep things casual.”

“Deal,” said Alex, a slight, worried sinking in her throat.

“Good,” said Olivia. “Casually stay over tonight,” she requested.

Alex waited a beat to respond: “Okay,” she said. She lay back and settled against the pillows.

“So, you’re sure we’re still casual?” Alex asked her over coffee. “We’re still doing, no strings attached?”

“What’s not casual about a cup of coffee?” Asked Olivia. “It’s just a courtesy.” The words tasted bitter.

“Gotcha,” said Alex, “just checking.” Olivia set her coffee down. She walked over to where Alex sat and took hers. She straddled her lap.

“Is this casual enough for you?” she whispered inches from her lips.

“Yes,” said Alex, kissing her hard. “No big deal.”

“Yep,” Olivia agreed. “Just simple sex.” Alex slid her hands underneath Olivia’s shirt, stroking and scratching lightly. Olivia breathed sharply.

Olivia arched and sighed, and when her eyes uncrossed, looked at her. Alex shuddered.

“How long are we going to keep doing this?”

“How long can you stand me?” Alex replied. She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. She sat up. She picked at her nail polish.

“Come on,” said Olivia.

“You agreed to these terms, remember.” The dots on the bedspread swum.

“How about a reset,” Olivia said, still catching her breath.

Alex laughed, half bitter half hopeful. “Whatever you say,” she said.

“I’m serious.”

“Ok, if you’re serious.”

“Shut up.” Olivia pulled Alex to her.

#svu #law & order #law and order svu #olivia benson #alex cabot #cabenson #cabenson fanfic #law and order svu fanfic #sficx #pls comment.

22 notes · View notes

valentinesfrog · 3 months

Text

i’ve been seeing so much calex content recently that i feel it’s time to shamelessly promote this old one shot collection of mine from a femslash february of yore

#svu #olivia benson #alex cabot #casey novak #calex #cabenson #benovak #cabenovak #my beloveds #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #femslash february

17 notes · View notes

wxckedwxrld · 1 year

Text

Law & Order: SVU

Rafael Barba

Imagines

PSA: these writings ARE NOT MINE. This is a list of fanfiction I have read during august and sept. All credit goes to the original and rightful writers

* - smut ^ - angst • - fluff

Masterlist

*oral skills

#law and order rafael barba imagine #law and order smut #rafael Barba smut #law and order fanfiction #law and order svu fanfic #law and order fic #Rafael Barba x you #law and order svu Rafael Barba x you #rafael Barba x f!reader #law and order svu Rafael Barba x f!reader #rafael Barba x reader #law and order svu Rafael Barba x reader #Spotify

37 notes · View notes

kryptonitejelly · 7 months

Note

KJ!!!!!!!! I’m screaming!!!

Okay okay okay….

Carisi and readers first kiss 🥰

send asks for sonny carisi x reader (5 sentence baby blurbs!)

“You did not,” you exclaim, voice tinged with a mix of predominantly amusement and slight horror as your feet stop in their tracks.

“I did,” Sonny laughs as he stops as well, his hands in his pockets; the corner of his eyes crinkle in equal parts amusement as he takes in your reaction.

“That mouth of yours,” you chuckle while shaking your head.

“Yeah? What about it?” Sonny steps forward, taking the opportunity to close the gap between you both.

“It’s always getting you into trouble,” you say, suddenly acutely aware of the distance, or lack thereof, between you both. You take the opportunity to inch that bit closer; the front of your coat brushing his.

“Yeah?” Sonny hums the question, his drawl thick as his gaze flickering from your gaze. to your lips.

“Uh-huh.”

“Would it,” he starts, head dipping an inch towards yours, “get me into trouble if I did this?” You can feel his breath on your skin, his lips inches from yours, ocean blue eyes locked into yours - you almost forget to breathe.

“No I don’t believe so,” you managed to say, voice quiet. You see the twinkle in Sonny’s eyes before his lips meet yours.

#so this was longer than 5 sentences #sue me #kj’s 5 sentence baby blurbs #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi x you #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi fanfic #sonny carisi #law and order svu #dominick carisi x you #dominick carisi x reader #dominick carisi jr #dominick carisi #not cm #not tg #dominick carisi imagine #dominick carisi fanfic #law and order svu imagine #law and order svu fanfic

75 notes · View notes

plaidbooks · 1 year

Text

Warm It Up

A/N: Holy fuck, she remembers how to write!

Tags: some consensual touching

Words: idk I wrote it here--short

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @caracalwithchips @beardsanddetectives @reading—mermaid @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31

Looking at your new dress, you knew you weren’t going to wear a bra with it. Thankfully, you had also bought nipple coverings with it; something you’ve never used before.

You opened the package and read the little instruction sheet inside. After wiping down the area around your nipples, you peeled off the protective plastic. What the instructions didn’t mention, however, was how cold the sticky material was to your skin.

You let out a hiss as you pressed the covers over your nipples; the cold was so much that it was almost painful.

“You okay, doll?” Sonny asked, sticking his head out of the bathroom. He was lucky enough to wear nice suits to work, so he didn’t need to change much for a dinner date. As such, he was basically ready while you were still getting dressed.

“Ah--the nipple covers are cold,” you complained, goosebumps blooming on your arms.

Sonny stepped out of the bathroom, coming up behind you. He wrapped his arms around your body, his palms cupping the nipple covers, holding your chest in his hands.

“There--let me warm them up for ya,” he murmured directly into your ear. Then he gave you a kiss underneath your earlobe.

That was Sonny--your Sonny--always trying to help without realizing just how sexy he was. A small whimper escaped your throat as you leaned back against his clothed chest.

“That,” he huffed, “was the prettiest sound I’ve ever heard.”

His lips trailed down your neck to your shoulder, his fingers starting to squeeze your tits. You moaned this time, head falling back against him.

“W--we’re going to be late to our res--reservations,” you reminded him.

Sonny chuckled, nipping your shoulder, before pulling fully away from you. “Fine, I’ll take ya to dinner--then I’ll have ya for dessert.”

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #k2023bdaybingo #fanfic #my writing

132 notes · View notes

illdowhatiwantthanks · 4 months

Text

May the Fourth Be with You

Casey Novak x fem!reader Warnings: explicit language (maybe?), implied sex (maybe?), fluffy times, Star Wars V spoilers (I guess?), idk let me know if I've missed anything Word count: 1.7k

Summary: You and Casey are watching the twins so your parents can go on vacation and, unbeknownst to Casey, you fully plan on celebrating Star Wars day. But you end up celebrating something else entirely.

Casey jerked awake as the Star Wars theme song blared to life around her.

“What the hell?!” she muttered, stretching and blinking to find you, Winnie, and Eli standing at the foot of the bed with lightsabers. Winnie had on a Darth Vader mask.

You grinned, giggling, and counted your siblings off. “Okay, guys, one… two… three… May the Fourth be with you!”

Casey groaned and tried to put on a good face for Eli and Winnie as she sat up. “Oh, wow. Happy… what are we celebrating?”

“The breakfast tray, young padawans,” you prompted, bowing slightly. Eli and Winnie grabbed either side of a tray and set it over Casey’s lap. Of course, she thought as she looked over the hash brown patty decorated as Chewbacca, with little bacon arms and legs. The avocado toast that somehow had the face of Yoda. Star Wars day. May the Fourth be with you. She shook her head. This is what she got for dating a huge nerd. Even the orange juice was in a little Star Wars glass that looked like it had come straight out of the ‘70s. For all she knew, it might have. Your dad was a huge nerd, too.

“Okay, guys,” you said, giving them a small salute. “You can go eat your breakfasts. Casey and I will come down in a little bit and we can start A New Hope.”

The kids cheered and thundered downstairs, leaving just you in your Han Solo t-shirt sitting at the edge of the bed. “Sorry to wake you,” you apologized, running a hand through her messy morning hair. “I put them off as long as I could.”

“I don’t know how your parents do this all the time.” Casey yawned, making a squished sandwich of the avocado toast, the hash brown and the bacon. She bit into and moaned. “God, it’s worth it for your breakfast, though.”

You smiled and leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead. You and Casey were watching your siblings, Winnie and Eli–who were both sixteen and both had Down syndrome–for two weeks, so your parents could go on vacation. They were great kids. You loved them with your whole heart. And you loved that Casey loved them, too. That she was willing to use her vacation time to help you take care of them.

“I think we’re gonna start with A New Hope,” you told her. “It’s the only one they’ve seen besides the kid shows, and the original trilogy’s the best anyway.”

“I’ve never seen Star Wars,” Casey mused, taking another bite of her mishmashed sandwich.

Your jaw dropped. “Casey, what!? None of them!?”

She shook her head, wiping crumbs off the corner of her mouth.

“How come I didn’t know this?! You never told me…”

Casey looked almost guilty as she shrugged. “I don’t really have any desire to see Star Wars…”

You gasped. “And this from the love of my life!?” You clutched your hands to your chest dramatically.

“Calm down,” she scoffed, ruffling your hair as she finished the breakfast sandwich and drained the juice, setting the tray aside so she could wrap her arms around you. “I love that you love Star Wars. I love it when you talk nerdy to me.” She placed a kiss on your neck.

“Oh, yeah?” You smirked, raising your eyebrows.

“Mmhm,” Casey confirmed, pressing her lips to yours. She tasted citrusy from the orange juice, and your brain momentarily blacked out.

You smiled into her, lips brushing against hers. “Did you know the Millennium Falcon is a YT-1300 Corellian light freighter?”

Casey kissed you again, placing both hands on the sides of your face to deepen it.

“And it made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs?”

“You’re such a nerd,” she chuckled, pushing you back into the headboard and straddling your lap.

You moaned slightly, your hands slipping under her t-shirt, as she slid her tongue into your mouth.

“Hey!” a voice called, and you and Casey shot apart as if you were teenagers caught by your parents. It was Winnie, in all her 4’10” glory, standing arms crossed, Darth Vader mask on, in the doorway. “You two,” she ranted, pointing at you, “need to stop all this kissing. Get your butts downstairs. It’s May the Fourth Be with You! Not Kissing Be with You!”

“Get out of here, Winnie!” you yelled playfully, throwing a pillow out of her. “We’ll be down in a second.”

She crossed her arms. “You know you’re not allowed to have girlfriends or boyfriends upstairs. That’s what mom says to you and Chase.”

“I’m a full-grown adult, Winnie! I have a job! And an apartment!” you protested. “I can do whatever I want!” You launched yourself out of bed, flushed, straightening your clothes. “And Chase is married!”

Casey’s shoulders shook with laughter, her face red. You rolled your eyes, taking her hand in yours to pull her up from the bed. You followed Winnie downstairs, slapping Casey’s hand away as she squeezed your ass.

“The children, Casey!” you hissed. She smirked and kissed the side of your head.

You had more fun watching Star Wars that day than you’d had in a long time. But you loved watching Casey with your siblings more. It meant so much to you, so much more than you could ever say–and you’d said a lot–that she was so good with them, that she cared about them, even loved them. It made your heart soar when Eli asked for his daily smoothie and wanted Casey to make it, not you. It was a task reserved for whoever was his favorite at the time. You loved that these days, his favorite was Casey.

Even more exciting was getting to watch perhaps the only three people in the world who didn’t know Darth Vader was Luke’s father see the reveal.

“What!?” Casey yelled, into it despite herself, mostly because it was fun to be into something with the people around you. The kids screamed, throwing things around the room. You grinned all the way to your ears, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of Casey’s mouth. You just couldn’t help yourself. She slipped a sneaky hand underneath your shirt to caress your bare skin, making you shiver, and you shot her a look that said, “This is fine, but you’re pushing it.”

And at your favorite part–when Han Solo and Princess Leia are reunited once more at Jabba the Hutt’s lair–you cheesed and smiled and couldn’t help cooing and awwing. They were your favorite. They’d always been your favorite. When you were young, you’d convinced yourself that you had a crush on Han Solo, but really you’d wanted to be Han Solo. The crush, so obvious in hindsight, had been on Princess Leia.

“Ugh, she’s so pretty!” you squealed, and Casey smiled at you, pinching your dimpled cheek.

“Ooohhh,” Winnie teased. “You should be married with her.”

“What?!”

“You should be married with Princess Leia because you said you like her.”

You shrugged. “I mean, I do like her. She’s very pretty. But you know who’s prettier?” You leaned in toward Winnie and Eli, as if you were going to tell them a secret. “Casey.”

Winnie and Eli shrieked, scandalized.

You wrapped an arm around Casey’s waist, pulling her to you, and she giggled, blushing. You kissed her cheek. “Casey is the prettiest. I like her so, so much. I’m gonna be married with Casey.”

After the kids’ laughter had died down and they were distracted by the ewoks, Casey looked at you thoughtfully, running a hand through your hair. “Do you mean it?” she asked quietly.

“Mean what?”

She played with her fingers. “That you want to get married?”

Your heart melted a bit as you watched her. She was nervous to ask. And Casey was never nervous.

You cupped her face. “Of course I am! We talked about this at Chase’s wedding, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, but…” she avoided your eyes. “You didn’t bring it up again.”

“Oh, Case,” you breathed, rubbing her cheek. You laughed a little bit, and she looked at you as you pulled a small plastic bag out of the pocket of your basketball shorts. Casey gasped quietly as she realized what it was, as you held out the ring. “I was gonna make it more romantic, but...”

“Y/N,” she squealed, and planted a quick kiss on your lips, as quiet and chaste as she could manage, so as not to interrupt the kids–or prompt them to interrupt you.

You waited for her nod, then slipped the ring on her finger, smiling.

“How long have you had it,” she asked, whispering, as she turned it around and around.

You grinned at her. “I ordered it after you went to sleep the night of Chase’s wedding.”

“You didn’t,” she said, swatting your arm, sniffing aggressively and trying to avoid crying.

“I did.” And when she turned to you, you knew you’d never, ever get tired of her. Her face, her laugh, the way she kept you on your toes. You loved every single bit of her, so much it almost ached. You’d decided that very night, that very conversation at Chase's wedding reception, that If Casey wanted it, you’d do it. It would be your absolute privilege, your joy, your honor to marry her.

She kissed you a few more times, soft and quick, then leaned her body into yours, resting her head on your chest.

“We’ll celebrate more later,” she whispered, winking up at you and squeezing your hand.

“Hey,” you prompted when she turned her head back to the movie. She looked up at you, and you traced her eyebrows, her cheekbones, all the way down to her chin. “I love you.”

She grabbed your hand and kissed it. “I love you, too.” She smirked and giggled, then added. “Nerd.”

You rolled your eyes and smiled, happier than you’d ever been in your life.

#casey novak #casey novak x reader #casey novak x fem!reader #casey novak fanfic #casey novak fluff #law and order #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #svu fanfic

83 notes · View notes

myfuchsiadreams · 1 year

Text

My fanfics on AO3:

💜 Kanthony:

Moondance => https://archiveofourown.org/works/46303453

You're All I Need When I'm Holding You Tight => https://archiveofourown.org/works/46344799

I Surrender => https://archiveofourown.org/works/50740162

To Make You Feel My Love => https://archiveofourown.org/works/44931028

I've Been Waiting For You => https://archiveofourown.org/works/46584604

Wild Hearts => https://archiveofourown.org/works/43550446/chapters/109497937

In This Storm => https://archiveofourown.org/works/45013672

Past The Point Of No Return => https://archiveofourown.org/works/45188026/chapters/113679832

Hold Me Closer => https://archiveofourown.org/works/46011268?view_full_work=true

So Far, And Still, So Close => https://archiveofourown.org/works/47139211

I Just Want To Love You => https://archiveofourown.org/works/46696921?view_full_work=true

Don't Say Goodbye => https://archiveofourown.org/works/50135302

Rewrite Our Stars => https://archiveofourown.org/works/50225785

Third Time's The Charm => https://archiveofourown.org/works/49650010?view_full_work=true

To Collide => https://archiveofourown.org/works/51508684

Relentlessly => https://archiveofourown.org/works/51664555

Hidden In My Heart => https://archiveofourown.org/works/51747946

Close Ain't Close Enough Until We Cross The Line => https://archiveofourown.org/works/51973162

As One => https://archiveofourown.org/works/52176805/chapters/131974780

It Was You All Along => https://archiveofourown.org/works/52559896/chapters/132951274

Wide Awake => https://archiveofourown.org/works/52992376

Brave Enough To Leave All In Ruins => https://archiveofourown.org/works/54641773

Buddies => https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/140516398

🧡 Eriel:

I Am Found In You => https://archiveofourown.org/works/47546011

I Am Lost In You => https://archiveofourown.org/works/47635294

Into the Wild with You => https://archiveofourown.org/works/48019219

Our World => https://archiveofourown.org/works/49308985

Just You And Me => https://archiveofourown.org/works/4784042

I Am Still Lost At The Sea => https://archiveofourown.org/works/52385710/chapters/132520732

💚Edser:

I Will Run To You => https://archiveofourown.org/works/49795594

Best Laid Plans => https://archiveofourown.org/works/51297157

❤️ Elejah:

In The Mirror Of His Eyes => https://archiveofourown.org/works/52541923

Let Me Love You Selfishly => https://archiveofourown.org/works/55452997

🖤 Bensler:

At Long Last => https://archiveofourown.org/works/54217036

A Knock On The Door => https://archiveofourown.org/works/55401838

17 notes · View notes

danny-pino-group-therapy · 6 months

Text

AN: This fic is purely self-indulgent! I needed it at this time Sorry for my grammar and poorly written story. It was off the cuff.

TW’s: If any of the following are likely or even remotely possible to trigger you PLEASE DO NOT READ BELOW! Depression; Mania; Manic Depressive; Bipolar disorder; Self Harm Scars; Self Harm Thoughts; Suicidal Thoughts; Mental Illness.

WC: 1,808

“Have you ever felt so alone even when you’re surrounded by people?” You looked up at Nick, thick tears gathering in your eyes at the admission of how you were handling life and all its highs and lows currently.

Nick felt his heart break as he looked down at you, curled up on your oversized comfy sofa. As he had come into the apartment an hour ago after not hearing from you all day and not seeing you at work, he noticed your place was eerily quiet save for a few sniffles coming from the living room. The place seemed almost untouched, with no dishes in the sink, no drinking glasses anywhere, or the water bottle you carried around faithfully. The only place that seemed lived in at all was the living room, where it appeared you had camped out the last couple of days at least. A blanket tossed haphazardly over the back of the couch, takeout boxes on the coffee table, and a couple of plastic water bottles on the floor. It was very apparent to Nick you weren’t feeling well mentally and in a dark place.

Nick exhaled a shaky breath before taking a tentative seat on the sofa beside you. He knew you well enough to know that when in a state like this you wanted your space but you needed him close by too.

“Yeah…yeah Hermosa I have.” He sighed. “I don’t know how you’re currently feeling or what you’re dealing with baby but I’ve felt that way. Tell me what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours.” The handsome hazelnut-eyed detective let his hand reach out towards you, holding it over your thigh. “When did you first start feeling this way? Hmm?” He spoke softly, his voice full of concern.

“I don’t know. Everything just snowballed.” You sniffled and looked up to the ceiling as tears welled even further in your eyes while you tried not to cry openly, always wanting to remain strong on the outside for everyone else. Nick though…Nick saw right through it all. He always had and always would and as he did he pulled you to him, into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you; his large hand on your head soothing down your hair before pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

Nick had been in your life for nearly five years now, at first only a partner at work but now your boyfriend for nearly a year after you both confessed your feelings after an argument after a frustrating week and a huge disagreement. You had yelled at him your feelings and he stared at you dumbfounded, never believing anything so good could happen to him, so good as to have you have the same feelings he felt for you, that is. That was Nick though, Nick Amaro who never thought he deserved the best in life which you always felt he did, knew he did. Then again you felt the same way toward yourself. Never believing you deserved anything good or anyone good in your life and that anything or anyone good had to have an alterer motive. Perhaps that’s why you were kindred spirits, you both knew how the other felt in some similar sort of way all the while knowing it was completely different sets of situations that led you to the place you were in life now.

Nick looked over to the table behind the couch seeing your medicine containers filled still from the last week. You hadn’t taken them then, a reckless decision in a moment of mania or brain fog, maybe both, he couldn’t be sure until asking further. While at work the detective was one of the best at interrogations he was careful when it came to you, he knew you hated feeling like you were being interrogated like one of his perps. It always ended up in you pulling even further away and shutting everyone, including him, out. “You didn't take your meds this week?” He questioned softly as he caressed your hair and back.

“I don’t know. I can’t remember when.” You muttered.

“Baby…you had an alarm set. What happened? I wanted to be here but I was undercover. I’m so sorry mi amor. I can’t always be here to remind you, you know that right? I worry. You have to take your meds so you feel better; so you feel okay.” Nick urged, feeling himself worry even more now at your words.

“Nick…Nick I don’t need you to babysit me. I know what I did was reckless. I know I skipped. One day I got up late, and I missed my alarm, and cut it off. The next day I said I didn’t have time, so I skipped it. The next, the same. The following I forgot, the same with the next and the next, and then I got to the point where I felt amazing I didn’t need it I thought. I was stupid and things spiraled. It felt great for a while! Boy did it feel fucking great. Now…now I just feel empty, and alone. Alone when I’m at work. Alone here. Alone with you. It doesn’t matter, I’m alone.” You started to feel yourself get carried away trying to explain what your mind felt like right now.

The detective listened, his heart clutching at your words and the pain and conflicting thoughts you had to be having right now.

“It’s not normal and it’s not okay. I just. I want to feel okay. I don’t want to have to live life on meds and still battle my thoughts, my mind saying awful things. I’m filled with rage and with hate and I’m not…I’m not hateful, I’m not vengeful, I’m not like this Nick. You know I’m not! I’m empathetic, I’m kind, I feel other people’s emotions and pain so deep inside myself that I carry it wherever I go and I try to make it better. I’m not this person my mind makes me believe I am.” You pushed off of Nick’s chest, or tried I should say but he held you tight to him knowing in a moment you’d break, the flood of tears would form and you’d not be able to stop it. Knowing you you probably hadn’t cried in a long time and needed it. Needed to feel healthy and not with the methods you used to use. Nick’s mind flashed with the memories of new scratches and new cuts and new bruises before you and he had gotten together and you had started an intensive therapy course and continued with therapy and treatment since. You had relapses of course but it hadn’t been as frequent and he had made it his life mission that no one, not even yourself, would harm you again. The squad and so many others, including yourself told him that it wasn’t his fault if you had faltered or slipped again, that it wasn’t his duty to make sure you were okay 24/7 but he still took it seriously and it made you feel even more guilty you had hurt him so bad by hurting yourself.

“Baby… Hermosa, you…you haven’t hurt yourself again have you?” He was afraid to ask…afraid of what the answer might be. He had been gone away without contact all week and had no idea if you were okay or not even if you assured him you were a big girl. Even the squad had said they’d check on you, which they did until you stopped letting anyone in yesterday morning.

“No…no, I haven’t. I’ve had thoughts but I haven’t.” You choked up and the man looked over your hands that had clutched his shirt desperately then down to your wrists and arms seeing no signs of new red angry skin. “It’s like a fucked up addiction. I did it to feel. I did it to make sure I was alive and all the while forget that I was and attempt not to have to deal with it at all anymore. I hate it. I hate I started it but I did now I have to live with it all because I started and my fucked up bipolar.” You cried.

“How…how can you even stand me?? Why do you want to be with me? Why? I’m so fucked up Nick! I’m screwed up! Why would YOU want ME? Me of all the women you could have, you chose the girl with a brain so messed up as mine.” You broke down as the handsome raven-haired detective held you tighter, tears gathering in his own eyes as you soaked his shirt with your own.

“Because I’ve never seen someone so compassionate. Someone so filled with life when you’re interested in something you can’t stop talking about it. Your eyes light up, your smile is huge and you can go on for ages until you realize I’m staring at you with my stupid big grin. Because of your smile, your spirit lights up even the darkest of moments, of days, the darkest corners of my mind. When I think of having you as my work partner and my girlfriend I ask how fucking lucky am I to have you by my side to confide in, to hold, and to love. How lucky am I that Zara and Gil have another amazing woman in their life who can teach them compassion for others and empathy and set a good example. Baby love you so much. I know we’re both fucked up but you are the light in the center of my heart that keeps it beating. That keeps me going. I don’t care that you have times when your life feels a mess, mine feels like a shit show most of the time too but when I hold you, or you hold me, I feel I’m sane. I’m okay. I’ll be okay because you’re here now. You’re going to be okay? Alright? I’m here. I’m going to love you through this and beyond. We’ll get you back on track and get you feeling better. I love you, please…try never to forget, even if you do, I’m going to remind you every day for the rest of eternity that you’re loved and cherished not just by me but by family and our squad and friends. Always.” Nick held your face in his large calloused hands gently as he spoke before kissing your tear-stained face and lips. “I love you. Please rest here, okay? When you get up I’ll be right here. We’ll start new. It’s going to be okay. I’ve got you.” He cooed and rocked slowly side to side hoping to soothe you as you cried yourself to sleep knowing Nick was right, he would be there for you and help you till you saw the daylight again.

Author’s Note: Please if you feel hopeless, empty, sad, or alone or are having any thoughts of SH, Suicide, or even just a feeling of helplessness and depression, call or text your local hotline (FOUND HERE). I have used the Crisis text line (text HOME to 741741 in the USA) several times and it helps to have someone to listen when you hate or are anxious about talking on the phone! If not these lines, please friends/family for support or someone who will listen to you. I’m here to speak to you and try to understand even in your darkest time you aren’t alone even if you feel you are. You are enough and you are loved. I love you. ❤️

33 notes · View notes