#i was trying to figure out if spot's height in my dream was accurate

[r3dships]

Doing some height comparison calculations and

Oh.

[annoying--moth]

Silly Game Time: Do you often remember your dreams? What's a dream that you do particularly remember?

Myself, I almost never do. But I do remember one where I wandered around an empty, medieval city wearing a tailcoat tuxedo and carrying a yellow rose.

I remember them a decent amount of the time. I've got a few that I've remembered forever, but I'll tell you one of my scariest ones.

I believe I was around 11-ish years old when I had this dream, and some of the details might be lost to me, but here we go. I don't remember how it started, but there was this creature in my mom's apartment trying to kill us. (us being me, my mom, and my two sisters. I think I had an imaginary brother too??) We called it a "doll", though it would be more accurate to say it was some kind of unholy combination of Momo and the girl from The Ring, and about the height of a 12-13 year old girl (in my 11 year old opinion at least.) There are a few details missing, but basically we somehow built an overly complicated home alone-style trap that involved a minecart and cave (where we got one of these I don't know) meant to weaken/trap/kill the "doll". She went through it successfully, and at the end she lay weak on the floor in the bedroom I shared with my sisters, stomach-down and facing away from the door. My family and I stood at the door, figuring out what to do next. We ended up deciding that we would have to kill her, and I think originally my made-up brother was going to but he couldn't for some reason? So the job ended up being given to me. My mom handed me a butter knife (which is not an ideal choice for murdering someone) and I slowly tiptoed into the room.

As I approached her, I could her panting and say over and over again "I'm alive, I'm alive..." In intense relief, since that trap had been pretty nasty. I remember she had some kind of giant open wound in her back, it was either from my brother or the trap, I don't remember. I slowly went up to her, and she didn't notice me at all, and I remember this is the part where I actually felt bad, because she was so relieved to be alive and I was about to kill her. Still, I knew I had to do it otherwise she would kill us, so I used the butter knife and stabbed her in the back. Somehow this worked and she ended up dying pretty much on the spot, and when I went back to my family they all congratulated me.

I didn't feel too great about it though.

[starfall-spirit]

A Court of Twisted Wisdom

Summary: See ACOTW Masterlist

Chapter XII: Once Upon A Dream

Cassian

The door to Ayla's bedroom flew open. "What the fuck just happened?"

I'd never heard Nesta so panicked. Over the years, being a mother had softened her on a level I never expected. Not that I ever thought she'd be a bad one. It was just strange to see. I swallowed, standing on quivering legs, unable to tear my eyes from the spot where she had been seconds ago. "I don't know."

"You don't know? I find that pretty hard to believe, Cassian. She was screaming from that balcony. Where the hell is our daughter?" I shook my head. "Go fly to the Riverhouse. Rhys can contact the others mentally. And Ayla potentially."

"Alright." I stepped forwards, kissing her forehead. "We'll find her, Nesta. Don't worry." Then I shot into the sky. I made it to the Riverhouse in record time, bursting through the doors and shouting for Rhys and Feyre so they could call everyone. Not long after we had all returned to the House of Wind. "She was on the balcony, upset from something. I tried to talk to her. Then she disappeared."

"Winnowed?" Feyre asked.

"No. she hasn't shown potential for that. There was this fire. Cold, just like yours, Nes. It swept in over her and she was gone."

"How could we go twenty-six years without seeing she has powers like these?"

"I don't know what they were. If they have your power, if they were just meant for travel."

"Az could send his shadows searching but we need something quicker," Nesta announced. "We know her gifts are like mine were. Could I try to scry for her?"

Just like that the House dropped a map, stones, and bones on Ayla's bed. If she's anywhere in Prythian or on the Continent we'd be able to find her. The stones and bones dropped, scattering in a natural pattern. "One more time, Nes," I murmured, resting a hand on her back. Again, the scrying tools granted no answer.

"I'm not messing this up. I remember how. I have enough power left to do it. Why can't I find her?"

Az blew out a breath. "I'll start sending out my shadows. It's barely past midnight. Maybe try again when you've rested some."

~~~~~

Ayla

I had passed out seconds after my arrival. I peeled my eyes open, for a moment wondering if they were truly open or if I couldn't manage something that simple. The backs of my eyelids were brighter than this place. I was in a world of darkness. Or more accurately a world of nothing. It was a void. I shivered at the empty feeling as the silence pressed in. Silence heavy enough to drive someone to the brink of insanity if left too long. I remembered what I had wished for.

A place of silence where no one could trace me. Not this utter isolation. I vanished my wings, trying to think of of a way out. Okay, new power. I think. I had simply begged for this place before, knowing its literal interpretation or not. I need someplace welcoming where no one knows me. And I was swept into the flames once more.

More focused this time, I saw different images through my travel. This wasn't traveling from point A to point B. This was falling through worlds. The cocoon I'd created seized and I felt my knees pop as I hit the ground, bracing myself in a squat. My training was thorough, so despite the silence of the fae around me I sensed nine fae males close in before I had even looked up to find their swords in position to strike.

Okay, so not welcoming, but better.

It hardly took a thought before a shield of silver flame created a protective dome around me. It began expanding, torching the tiles at my feet. At my will the shield vanished. "Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to torch anything. Um—"

"What's your name and what brings you to my kingdom in such a fashion?" I whirled around, meeting the eyes of the speaker. She was average height with a lithe figure. Her hair flowed gold down her back. What truly marked her beauty though was her eyes. Turquoise pools rimmed in gold. "Who are you and why have you come to Terrasen?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Why have you come to Terrasen?" the female demanded again. The queen, I realized as she seated herself on an antler crowned throne. I had just crash-landed and torched the floor of her throne room. "Well?"

"Um, look. I didn't mean to interrupt your court business. I'll just be heading back to...somewhere."

She gave me a once over and something flashed in her eyes. Something like pity. I nearly growled at the look. "I don't think so. I still have a few questions. Don't make yourself look guilty."

Shit. Fight or flight? No weapon on me but rather unpredictable magic and I can't exactly catch some air in here. If I go on foot I'll likely be caught and imprisoned somehow. How about a new world? Straight back to Prythian. I've had my fill of world-walking for a while. A good long while.

Home, I thought to myself. Home is where I need to be.

But I couldn't feel my powers. At least not the world-walking ones. "Everybody wait." A young male strode into the room, sharing the same blond hair and turquoise eyes as the female before me. "Everyone stand down." The guards instantly lowered their weapons. Their prince, I realized. "Mother, the girl I mentioned the other day..."

I looked over him again, my dream floating back to me. Two males and myself holding swords in a cavern. I gasped. "You're one of them," I said, my voice airy with disbelief.

He smirked and I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. Played dumb to make him doubt his dream. "I thought you had wings. I guess dreams are funny things." He looked back to the queen. "May I request this girl is made a guest until we're more certain of her intentions here?"

She nodded once. "Until then."

Previous | Next

~~~~~

AN: I'm sorry, I forgot to post yesterday.

Tag List: Message/comment/ask to be added or removed.

@shallyne // @faeriequeensuriel // @pandavelaris // @goddess-aelin // @s-uppertime

[lilover131]

Why I’m scared for Syaoran-Theories

For literal years I have shouted from the mountain tops that I am worried something bad is going to happen to Syaoran in Clear Card. I even stated it in my initial thoughts for spoilers of Chapter 1 back in 2016, so I can confidently say I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. Now here we are 55 chapters and 5 years later, and I’m more worried than ever. 

The thoughts I had were mostly revolving around the when, and I think CLAMP is throwing us some breadcrumbs along the way that we might be missing (or in my case, extremely over analyzing XD).

However, I will tell you that the theories I have about the ‘how’ part, which I have kept mostly to myself until now, begin with a story, and a dream….or several rather.

Under the cut due to length, and forewarning…some of this is going to sound probably crazy and like a wild crack theory. I haven’t talked about up until now out of fear that y’all might think I’m going off the rails. Lmao. So please read with a grain of salt.

For those who have followed me for a while, you might have noticed that I have CCS related dreams quite a bit. And in these dreams, it’s a common theme that nothing good ever happens to Syaoran. Lol. Now, before you say “Hey Chrissy, those are just dreams and mean nothing!”, hear me out.

 Every once in a while, the dreams that I have tend to carry some truth to them or end up actually happening. Please understand I’m not trying to say I’m prophetic or anything, but rather I am a firm believer that dreams are sometimes your brain’s way of finding answers to things that you can’t while you’re awake. Granted, some things I can’t explain, but I promise I’ll get to the point here.

 One specific example I can give here is when the Clear Card manga first started, none of us knew the identity of the Cloaked Figure in any capacity. All we knew was that they were about Sakura’s height and probably wanted her key, and that was really about it. When Akiho showed up in the series, people instantly pointed at her and said “it’s gotta be her”. I admittedly believed it too, but a part of me thought “that just seems too simple”. 

 But then I had a dream.

 I was very confused by it, but I went to my friends on Discord the next day to talk about it. It was July 28th, 2017 (thank goodness for time stamps!). And in that dream, I had seen the Cloaked Figure standing on a telephone pole, staring down into Sakura’s bedroom window. Their hood was down, and I could clearly identify the back of Syaoran’s head. I thought “There’s no way that it could be Syaoran, that wouldn’t make any sense”, so I tried not to think too much about it and dismissed it as just a dream.

 Then came chapter 24 almost a full year later….for those of you who don’t know what chapter this is, the one I’m referring to is when THIS bombshell was dropped on us. 

Needless to say, I was pretty spooked. Not only was my dream right about Syaoran being the Cloaked Figure, but he was even standing in the exact same spot as the scene that occurred in chapter 24. I will even say that this wasn’t the first time either that I had experienced a manga related dream actually happening in some capacity. Back during the serialization of Tsubasa when I was about 15-16 years old, I had a dream of the other Syaoran (or Real Syaoran as some may know him as) appearing before Clone Syaoran in a desert, surrounded by a destroyed city, and when the first chapter of the Acid Tokyo arc came out, I about lost my mind. The moment I saw that destroyed city, I was like “This is where the other Syaoran is going to appear”, and I turned out to be right.

 These dreams could have been a one in a million fluke, never to happen again, but boy have I had a loooooot of dreams over the years, and I’ve been documenting them ever since that Cloaked Figure dream and paying close attention to details, particularly because that was the most accurate one I’ve had so far, and I honestly can’t explain how it happened. But over time I have come to learn how to kind of pick out the dreams I feel actually mean something compared to the ones that are probably just a result of me thinking a lot about CCS.

 With that in mind, there has been one reoccurring theme in some of the CCS related dreams that I’ve had, and that was the presence of this scary, black goop like entity that doesn’t have a figure. The only thing I can really say about it is it was alive but certainly not human. I had the first dream about this entity even before the Cloaked Figure Syaoran dream, and the date appears to have been February 2nd, 2017.

 In this dream, that shadowy creature completely consumed Syaoran, who was protecting someone in its path, who I can only assume was Sakura. Like many of my dreams before, I dismissed it initially until I had a second dream on April 14th, 2018.. This time I didn’t see the actual shadowy creature, but rather saw a somewhat intense conversation between Sakura, Syaoran, and Kero. Syaoran seemed frustrated and incredibly worried, and the dialogue was in Japanese, so I could not understand a word of it. But there was one word in particular that he said, and I managed to remember it even after I woke up. Somewhere in this dialogue, Syaoran had said the word ‘kagemaru’. Why that word was the only one I held onto, I’ll never know. But it’s important to remember here that I don’t speak or understand Japanese. But something here compelled me to try and look this one up.

  I try to follow my intuition on things, so I googled the word ‘kagemaru’. I found mostly images of a character from Yugi-Oh GX (lmao), whose name happened to be Kagemaru. I have literally never watched anything beyond the original Yugi-Oh series, so I can promise you I wasn’t at all influenced by this. What surprised me was what the name meant...

 ‘Kagemaru’, appears to translate as ‘Pure Shadow’.

 AGAIN, my dreams were referencing a shadow, and weird enough in a language that is not my own. But that point on, I had an actual name for this entity, ‘Kagemaru’. To me, that gave me more reason to pay closer attention, and that’s where I really started documenting my dreams on Tumblr, which you may have seen. I thought to myself “this could be important, or maybe I’m just overthinking things again and this really is just a dream”. I thought “no one is going to take any of this seriously, and neither should I”. But at least if I had it documented and it turned out happening, then I could go back and actually say “Okay, maybe it’s real”.

 So I didn’t think about it for a while until episode 22 of the Clear Card anime came out on June 10th, 2018, a few months later. And there was a scene in particular that gave me chills.

 The scene I’m talking about is when Akiho is telling Tomoyo about her scary dream. This differs a bit from the manga, where she didn’t have this conversation really with Tomoyo at all, but since Ohkawa was involved in the script, I still consider it relevant. The really key thing I paid attention to that Akiho said was this:

She didn’t describe what this scary thing looked like, but it was clear that it was a truly horrifying dream for her, since her hands were trembling as she spoke about it. Additionally, she had spoken about said dream just before to Kaito and stated that there was a voice that said “You can never return”. Now, we weren’t sure what this voice sounded like until the anime aired it, and I gotta say…I was not expecting it to sound the way it did. The voice that says this in my opinion doesn’t sound human, was not really recognizable as any of the characters we know already, and immediately it gave me bad vibes and reminded me of the ‘Kagemaru’ I had seen in my dreams before. But still, I went on thinking “well maybe they’re still unrelated and I’m overthinking this”.

 Then chapter 27 came out in the beginning of October, 2018. Sakura and Akiho were down in the library in the basement, and right after Akiho had gotten emotional and was consoled by Sakura, they were suddenly in the dream world that Sakura had seen so many times. Again we heard that creepy disembodied voice say “You can never return…”. But what happens directly after this is what perhaps scared me the most. Akiho goes into what I call ‘Book-mode’ and says “Bring her power, too, “in” here”. There were a few words said before that, but one thing to keep in mind as well is that in the Japanese version of this chapter, different fonts were used for each speech bubble coming from Akiho, implying that multiple people that were not Akiho were speaking through her. And what did we get right after this was said?

A black, shadowy mass that tries to consume Sakura….

 I cannot tell you how bad this freaked me out when I saw it. Words cannot describe it. It was such an uncomfortable feeling, and I felt I couldn’t really ignore it any more. So all this time, I have just been waiting for developments and constantly fearing for Syaoran the entire time because of my dreams. 

 If you’re thinking “Chrissy, this is really weird”, then buckle in, because it gets a little bit crazier still.

 Sometimes I like to go back and read old fanfics I wrote up but never posted (I was a very shy child who kept most of my writing to myself). Well, in February of 2017, I recall reading back through some documents, and I found one that was only about a page, but I had written it all the way back in 2008, a long long time ago now. I had long forgotten about this and have no idea where it even came from, but something compelled me all those years ago to write about a black shadowy mass that formed into a dragon. That’s right…a dragon.

 So, all in all, it’s been a pretty wild ride for me. Lmao.

 Now that I’ve told you this story, let me further explain why I think Syaoran in particular will become a target. CLAMP, in my opinion, has been pointing in this direction for quite some time and hinting that something was going to happen to him. It kinda started when he said he came back to Japan to be “ready when the time came”, and it seems to be based around a future his mother saw. This future she saw has still not been disclosed to us, but Syaoran from the very first chapter seemed determined and prepared for a moment in particular that has yet to happen, and Eriol is supporting him from behind the scenes.

 Throughout the series all after this were numerous, numerous occasions in which people around Syaoran expressed their concerns for his well being and expressed how much they care about him. I’ll go ahead and list them all now so you can see the sheer volume of them, which means CLAMP is really trying to hit this point home. Why you might ask? It seems obvious to me that they want to increase the emotional impact that a future moment will bring, and that is why I am so entirely convinced something bad is going to happen to him. 

 1.       Yue—Chapter 27 of the manga  

2.       Meiling—Episode 16 of the anime

3.       Wei—Episode 19 of anime

4.       Sakura Cards-Chapter 27 of manga

5.       Touya—Chapter 54 of manga

6.       Eriol—Volume 7 drama cd (translation courtesy of @meimi-haneoka​ HERE 

Eriol: So, as we thought, she ended up creating a new card? Then...

Syaoran: I know...what I’ve got to do. I’ve put a spell on the teddy bear. I’ve already given it to Sakura. Through that bear, I’ll be able to use the Sakura Cards little by little...Hiiragizawa?

Eriol: Please, just don’t forget this. Sakura-san is important for me, too. Not because we’re connected through Clow Reed, but because Sakura-san is her own person.

Syaoran: Yes (I know).

Eriol: In the same way, I care about you because you are your own person, is what I’m saying./In the same way, you are important because you are your own person. (not sure about which one)

Syaoran: -silence-

Eriol: (chuckles) ...It is typical of you, to not give a reply.

 Sakura is obviously in this list too, but I thought she was obvious enough that I didn’t need to show examples. Clearly she would be very upset if anything happened to Syaoran, which may be also why she is so upset seeing the dreams of him as the Cloaked Figure. Even the mere thought of those visions are enough to give her anxiety and put a frown on her face. 

 So seeing all these signs that CLAMP is throwing out there, it seems practically confirmed that Syaoran is going to get into quite a bit of trouble, but it’s a matter of how and when. Here’s what I think ultimately is going to happen, and please take this as a vague idea. I don’t expect things to happen exactly this way, but this is the scene that plays out in my head when I think about it.

 I think that at some point, Akiho is going to go into ‘Book-mode’ again, perhaps stirred by emotional thoughts about Kaito, and come after Sakura. That black shadowy mass is going to try and grab her, but at the last second, Syaoran rushes in and throws himself in front of her, which would be a classic sacrificial Syaoran move. Sakura might try to do something about it like grab him and pull him out of the path, because she cannot bear to have anything happen to him, but then…in that split moment, she remembers that she cannot touch him right now or else she’ll hurt him, due to the spell placed by an unknown source keeping them apart.

As a result, she hesitates and is unable to save him, just like a very similar scene that occurred in Tsubasa (for all who have read, you know what I’m talking about, and back then there was a black shadowy mass too, wasn’t there?!). Maybe this also would explain how Syaoran becomes the Cloaked Figure, why he looks so devoid of emotions and feelings in those visions as well, or maybe even how the dragon comes about and why the Cloaked Figure stands atop it. We know that the spell inside Akiho is also slowly crushing her soul with the more magic it absorbs, so what if it were to transfer to Syaoran instead? His eyes and facial expression are so cold in Sakura’s visions/dreams, and it’s clear that what she was looking at is not Syaoran, at least not in soul.

In this daydream theory I have, Sakura is devastated and wants to change things and wishes for a moment that she can go back and do things differently, and in that moment of wishing, makes the card that that Kaito needs.

I think it seems somewhat implied that the card Kaito needs is time related. The reason I believe this is because when Sakura made REWIND, Kaito said it was “close”, but still not what he needed. I can’t speak as to what Kaito’s goals are yet, but maybe he wants to go back and change a moment in time that happened long ago, but he’s not strong enough to do so. It requires an obscene amount of magic and also is considered taboo, at least in the magical world in Tsubasa, and these same ideals and lore seem to carry on through other CLAMP series. I feel this also lines up with the ‘forbidden’ magic Kaito keeps referring to and also explains why he would deem time magic in particular necessary to accomplish it and made his contract with Momo.

Another theory I can throw out there is perhaps there is an impending consequence for Syaoran already that is just not being considered. For example, we know he’s breaking a magical contract right now by holding onto the Sakura cards and that Eriol expressed he was against the idea of Syaoran doing this. I feel like there might potentially be underlying consequences to this sort of thing that CLAMP isn’t divulging, especially since it seems kinda odd for the only problem to be that he gets worn out quickly? I mean, Sakura did too when she first was transforming them, so it just seems kinda…light in terms of the gravity of what he's doing. Additionally, for Eriol to be so adamantly against something, it means it must be serious. After all, he certainly doesn’t mind putting himself in situations that make him bed ridden for the ones he cares about, so it seems unlikely that this was Eriol’s concern, unless he’s just being incredibly hypocritical.

Ultimately, we have a lot more information to find out, but here’s what I’ve got based on the things we know now. If you read all this and think I’m a crazy person, I wouldn’t blame you. Lol. I’m fully prepared to be wrong and honestly hope I am, but I thought now was the best time to get all this out and see where things go from her. Everything will surely be all right!!! 

[coffee-imagines]

Duel Lessons

Pairing: Severus x slytherin!reader (but it’s not prominent so it can be just about any house)

Warnings: heated make out

A/N: I saw somewhere that Snape started teaching at 21 and I’m not sure if this is accurate or not, so if it isn’t then I’m sorry

Summary: A new year usually meant a new defense against the dark arts teacher, and when you take the job your old crush on a certain potions professor comes out of dormant.

———————————–

You were twenty one when you started your job at Hogwarts. It came as a shock to you when Dumbledore reached out and asked if you’d take the position as the defense against the dark arts professor. It had been your dream to be a teacher for the school since your third year, and you had asked Dumbledore to consider you for a position if it ever came up on your very last day of school. Only about a few months into the year and you were already hoping for a permanent position, but you also couldn’t deny that there were setbacks to being the youngest professor at the school. 

“Professor Y/L/N!” You heard someone call from behind you while you walked toward the direction of your classroom. You stopped in your tracks and turned around, smiling when you saw Fred Weasley. “I had a question about… class?” He said slowly looking as though he was trying to figure out what to say.

“Alright.” You nodded, taking a step back so your height difference wasn’t so noticeable and you didn’t have to look up at him. “What’s your question?” You asked and your eyebrows knitted together when a blush seemed to form on Fred’s face.

“Well it’s my last year here, and I remember when you used to be a student too.” He explained, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck making your head tilt in confusion. “Um, and I remember having a crush on you my first year and it got bigger in my third year, but then you finished school.” He continued only causing you to become more confused trying to find where his question started and if it had ended. “I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date after the school year is over?” He finally asked, making your stomach drop well below your feet.

“Mr. Weasley, I am your professor now, and as your professor I am not allowed to date students. We may be closer in age than you are with your other professors, but I expect you to treat me like you would them.” You explained, shifting uncomfortably in your spot. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” You mumbled awkwardly, walking back in the direction you’d intended. You sighed and shook your head, but you weren’t surprised. Fred hadn’t been the first student to ask you, and you were certain he wasn’t going to be the last.

You turned the corner and your heart began to race when you saw Snape. You almost laughed at yourself when you realized the irony of what had just happened. You remembered your time at Hogwarts and the crush you had developed on the potions master throughout those seven years. You were under the impression it had gone away once you left, but the first day you were back had made your heart flutter when you came face to face with the Head of Slytherin house, more particularly your house. All your memories of your time fawning over the man had come back in an instant, and kept haunting you every time you’d seen him. You hurried off to your class, wanting to be in the comfort of your office before you’d completely lost it.

Lunch seemed to come sooner than expected, and you found yourself in your normal seat in the great hall, right next to Snape. You’d thought of a more interactive lesson plan, but your nerves were prolonging the question you were going to ask the man sat next to you. You argued with yourself for a while, picking at the food on your plate. You thought you may have been in way over your head to even do the lesson you had planned, but you had already gotten the okay from Dumbledore and you didn’t want to waste the opportunity.

“Severus.” You whispered softly to get his attention, putting your fork down next to your plate only for your fingers to continue to toy with it. He turned his attention toward you and your breath caught in your throat when his eyes met yours. “I- I was wondering… well I was wondering if you’d like to help me with a lesson.” You stuttered out nervously before clearing your throat and sitting up a bit straighter trying to compose yourself. “I was going to teach the students how to duel and with your interest in the subject I was hoping you could join and help be an example.” You explained further, praising yourself for finally keeping your composure.

“I suppose.” Snape mumbled with a nod, making a smile form on your face. “If you help with a lesson in return.” He continued making you nod.

“Gladly.” Was all you could muster before your attention turned back to your plate. The rest of the time was spent with both of you planning the lessons as you ate. Your knowledge of potions wasn’t the best during your time at school, but you hoped over the years it had gotten better.

The following day you were beyond nervous. Not only because of the lesson itself, but because of the fact you were going to be spending more time with Snape than you usually did throughout the day. You were thinking about it all the way to the hall, trying to contain all the students’ excitement. The entire week was going to be filled with these lessons, people who weren’t in the class even asking to join the rare opportunity. That meant a whole week teaching lessons with Snape in not only your subject, but his.

“Alright everybody, split up on both sides of the table.” You motioned once you were all in the hall. Your heart was completely out of control, and you took a shaky breath to calm your nerves. You had planned everything to a T, but you knew there were going to have to be things you winged. You climbed up on the table to get everyone’s attention and started explaining the rules, hoping none of the students got out of hand.

“Now Professor Snape…” You began but stopped when you felt butterflies in your stomach. You had only addressed him by his first name since your return, but now that you were calling him Professor once again, it made you feel like you were a student yourself. “Professor Snape has been kind enough to offer his assistance in this lesson, so I expect you all to be alert and learn through the demonstrations before we begin breaking off into groups.” You announced, trying to project your voice throughout the big room. “Professor.” You nodded over to him, trying to keep yourself from blushing.

You seemed to be frozen in place when he stepped onto the table, your heart racing as he walked closer. The look he had been giving you made you feel intimidated, but at the same time you couldn’t help but let your mind wander with all the things you wanted to happen between you and the man now standing in front of you. You both pulled your wands out at the ready, and bowed before you both turned to put some distance between the two of you. The thoughts running through your head seemed to clog up and you couldn’t for the life of you remember what you had both discussed. It hadn’t been until you heard “Expelliarmus” that your brain seemed to register everything. Before you could block the spell you felt yourself fly back, landing on your back with a thud. The air had been knocked out of you and you squeezed your eyes shut as the embarrassment set in. 

“Professor Y/L/N.” You heard making you open your eyes. You saw Snape’s outstretched hand and you sat up. You grabbed his hand and felt a tingling sensation within you as he helped you to your feet. “Are you alright?” He asked and you nodded shyly. 

“That is a demonstration of what it is like to be hit by this particular disarming spell.” You explained to everyone, trying to come back with an excuse, but you were still overflowing with embarrassment. “Before we get into groups I’ll show you all how to block unwanted spells, and we will only be practicing disarming and blocking. There are many first years in here today and they aren’t as versed as many of the others.” You continued, wiping yourself off and continuing with the class.

The longer the class went on, you could feel a dull pain start to set into your back. With the help of Snape you watched each group and corrected any mistakes you saw. Snape caught you rubbing your lower back and it caught him by surprise that he was beginning to worry about you. After the lesson had finally been over the students went off to their next classes and you made your way to Snape’s classroom to return the favor. 

The week continued on just like the first lesson, and you figured if you let Snape knock you on your back with every lesson everyone would actually believe it was a part of the plan. You were surprised at how close you were beginning to get with your old professor, every day spending just about all your time with one another. As the week progressed so did the pain in your lower back, and it had finally been the last day of the week when it seemed to get to you the most. Unlike all the other times when air got knocked out of you, a whimper left you when your back had hit the table. Snape had been keeping his eye on you during his class, and it seemed that your hand was permanently glued to your back.

“Y/N.” Snape called you once everyone had left the room making you look up from the ingredients you were putting back on the shelves. “Could you get me wormwood, bubotuber pus, dittany, and dragon liver?” He asked and you nodded trying to find each of the ingredients on the shelves. You raked your brain, trying to remember what potion the ingredients were for, and you stopped what you were doing.

“A healing potion?” You asked, turning your attention to him. “Are you hurt?” You asked, finally bringing the ingredients to the desk he’d set up a cauldron on.

“You’ve been knocked on your back quite a lot this week, and I’ve seen you grabbing your back.” He explained making you shake your head.

“Oh no, I’ll be fine, I just need to rest.” You explained, watching him walk in front of the cauldron next to you. “Really Severus.” You tried to convince him, placing your hand on his before he could touch the ingredients. “Don’t waste your ingredients on me.” You whispered, blushing and pulling your hand away when you realized you’d been touching him.

“I must admit Y/N, you’re starting to worry me.” He explained making your heart flutter. It shocked you when he confessed his worries, and a small “oh” left you.

“Well… thank you.” You smiled watching him put each ingredient into the cauldron one by one. “How long does it take?” You asked curiously, looking over his shoulder once he was done. 

“Two hours.” He explained making you nod. He leaned back on the table behind him, and you stood in front of him with your arms behind your back. Your eyes wandered over his face, admiring him from up close. You couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to have your fingers running through his hair, but you quickly looked away as your face began to heat up. “Are you liking teaching here?” Snape broke the silence making you look back at him.

“Yes.” You nodded with a smile. “It’s been a dream to work here.” You explained, your fingers twiddling behind your back.

“I remember.” He nodded, making you look down at your feet. You could remember all the times you’d stay after class and ask him about his job as a professor. You would never admit to anyone but yourself that those times were more excuses to talk to him outside of class rather than finding out about his job. “You were quite the… student.” He explained, seeming to try and choose his words carefully.

“You don’t have to try flattering me Severus.” You smiled softly. “I wasn’t the best in your class.” You explained “I was always distracted.” You mumbled to yourself, looking down and playing with your shoe.

“Distracted? By what?” Snape asked, making your head shoot up. You opened your mouth to say something, but your voice seemed to become extinct. It seemed like the puzzle pieces were starting to fall into place due to your reaction. “Oh... me?” He asked, making you look away and give a small nod, distracting yourself with the brewing potion next to you. You heard him shuffle in front of you but you kept your attention on the cauldron as though your life depended on it. Snape’s hand came up to grab your chin softly, making you turn your head back to him. A gasp left your mouth at the feeling of his fingers on you, your breath coming out labored when you saw how close he had gotten to you.

“Professor?” You asked softly, the old schoolgirl in you coming to light as her dream seemed to be coming true at this moment.

“You know… I started here when I was twenty one too.” He explained, his breath fanning your face, his hand slowly releasing your chin.

“I’m aware.” You whispered, your eyes watching his lips. You both leaned in at the same time, your eyes fluttering closed when his lips brushed against yours before he closed the space. A content sigh left you and you melted into him. Your arms snaked their way into his robes, gripping his shirt tightly. This moment felt like a dream, but the tighter you seemed to grip his shirt the more real everything felt. Snape’s hand came up to hold your cheek and he deepened the kiss making your knees go weak. 

You gasped when he grabbed your thighs and lifted you onto the desk, stepping in between your now parted legs. When you pulled away you were both panting, your lips still tingling from his. Neither of you said anything, your chests raising and falling rapidly as you both stared at each other. Snape’s head dipped down lower than your lips, his mouth grazing against your jaw making your eyes flutter closed once again. Your breath was coming out shaky, a small moan leaving your parted lips when he left an open mouthed kiss against the base of your neck. 

“Ow.” You whimpered when Snape’s hand found it’s way down your back and caused the pain to come back tenfold. He mumbled an apology and instead of moving his hand away he started to rub your back. You were going to protest thinking it would only make it worse, but a satisfied sigh left you when the pain started to ease. “Severus.” You let out a moan when his fingers started to knead the skin in your back. Your head lolled back as the massage consumed your senses, the pain in your back being replaced with pleasure from his fingers.

“Is that better?” Snape asked, his voice barely above a whisper as he watched you. Your head was thrown back, your mouth parted as nothing but pleasured noises left you. Unknowingly to you, your hands were gripping his arms tightly, your fingers digging in slightly. The harder his fingers dug into your back, the louder your noises became.

“Yes.” You breathed out, your head falling forward onto his shoulder. You turned your head to the side, nuzzling your head into his neck as your legs pulled him closer against you. Snape was almost breathing as heavy as you were, a groan leaving him when you started kissing and sucking his neck. A timer going off made both of you jump apart, your feet hitting the ground on the side of the table while Snape stood back against the table behind him. 

“It’s ready.” He explained, spooning out the potion into a vile for you and he cleared his throat. He held it out to you once it was sealed and your fingers brushed against each other when you grabbed it.

“Thank you.” You whispered, turning around before making a b line toward the door.

“Y/N.” Snape’s voice stopped you in your tracks, but you didn’t dare turn around. “Would you like to come to my room tonight?” He asked, making a small smile form on your face.

“I’d love to.” You nodded, giving him a quick glance so he could see your smile before you walked out. You closed the door behind you and you leaned back against the door, breathing out a dazed sigh. You tried wrapping your head around what had just happened, and thoughts of what might happen tonight ran through your head.

“Professor Y/L/N?” The voice of one Fred Weasley pulled you from your thoughts making you straighten up and push yourself off the door.

“Fred.” You nodded, hoping the blush wasn’t evident on your face as you walked past him quickly in the direction of your office.

[spicyfoodboi]

a royal swap

Genre: random

A keiji akaashi and tetsuro kuroo x reader

A disney prince swap AU!

Synopsis: if our fellow haikyuu boys are people in fairy tales, how will their stories unfold?

a/n: hey guys! You guys probably are confused with the AU. My writer friends (I wuv you guys❤💖💕) and I brainstormed about the haikyuu boys being princes and we came out with this. I thank them for their wonderful support, I'm always here for you guys! Requests are open for haikyuu and enstars so please leave your wonderful ideas in my inbox! Without further ado, let's get on with it!

 Keiji akaashi

As prince charming from cinderella

He was a kind and silent prince.

And that gentleness attracts maidens near and far for the annual masquerade ball that happens at the palace.

This time, the ball was taking place because the king and queen want him a queen to marry, a new heir to the throne.

He was less than enthusiastic about it but his right-hand bokuto, convinced him that it would be fun.

Alas, the night of the masquerade ball arrives, he was standing in front of his throne, looking over the maybe hundreds masked men and women wining and dining, looking for a fair maiden to dance with.

He finally spots a fair lady, dressed in light blue, (h/c) locks flowing behind you, your matching blue butterfly mask obscuring your face, making you anonymous to the prince.

That said prince walks over to you and bowed offering his hand.

"may I have this dance maiden o' fair?" he asked, his voice ever so charming.

You flushed, taking his hand and letting him pull you to the middle of the ballroom as the both of you danced together the whole night.

By the last hour, he brought you to the courtyard so the both of you could look at the wonderful, glittering stars.

After talking about constellations, he was leaning over your figure, about to press a lingering kiss on your lips when the clocktower rung, signifying midnight.

You gasped, pulling away, muttering multiple apologies before dashing out.

He was confused, running after you, only a few steps behind.

You ran down the stairs, leaving your glass slipper on the step. You didn't have time to go back for it. You need to leave.

You did a quick farewell to the running prince and let the carriage drown your apologies to him.

Akaashi took the glass heel from the stairs and examined it, going up in the palace, letting bokuto examine it while the prince thinks of his next action.

The next day, an announcement came that the prince would travel across the kingdom and will ask every maiden to try on the slipper.

With bokuto, the men went house to house, trying out the slipper to no avail.

The prince was starting to lose hope, he sat on his horse, fiddling with its mane with a pout.

They reach the last house at the far end of the town. 2 sisters and their mother came out, trying out the slipper in hopes that it would fit.

When the heel doesn’t fit though, akaashi let out a sad sigh, saying his thank yous to the sisters, he was about to leave the house when a maiden called out.

You were wearing a dress patched up with different rags, your hair tied up with a bandana.

Bokuto lit up when he sees the hope shine in akaashi's eyes.

You try on the slipper and it was a perfect fit.

He took your hand and kissed it.

He didn't let go of your hand on the way back to the palace.

He found his maiden o' fair and he wouldn't let you go again.

 Tetsuro kuroo

As flynn rider from tangled

He was on the run from the royal guards after taking the lost princess' crown in a heist.

He lets his 2 accomplices get taken while he hides inside a cave.

He looks back and sees that it opens to space with a tall tower.

He gaped at the height but took out some small daggers from his satchel and climbed up.

When he reached the top, he only saw a round, fully furnished area before getting hit in the head by something hard.

He woke up, tied to a chair with… (h/c) hair??

he looked around and followed the big lump of hair into the darkness.

"show yourself."

You walk into the light holding a frying pan.

You started talking about the lights that show up every night of your birthday.

And that that date was coming closer and closer.

"where's my satchel?!" he shouted, now struggling under his restraints.

"take me to the lights and I'll give you your satchel back."

He had to agree before getting hit by frying pan again.

He woke up, tied to the chair again.

"untie me so I can help you then."

You hesitantly untied him.

You get down the tower and finally see the real world from the ground.

You were switching back and forth from excitement and nervousness.

Kuroo started to get annoyed so he brought you to the ugly crows and both of you met the delinquents of karasuno and sung about dreams.

The guard, lead by kenma their commander.

I didn't have the heart to make kenma to maximus-

Found the secret passage the duo went into and followed them.

A flood was triggered, trapped in a blocked off cave, kuroo took, what he thought his last breath before plunging.

You got to sing a bit of the lyrics and your hair glowed, lighting the way to freedom.

They got out, and let me tell you, kuroo was shocked.

Does your hair glow?? You wrapped a part of your hair around his bleeding palm and sung once again.

He was even more shocked.

HIS PALM WAS HEALED??

He took you to corona, the kingdom, and showed you around, even renting a boat so you could light up your lantern.

He took you to the nearby shore and set up camp there.

Little did he know, his accomplices were there, he was about to talk to them when he was hit in the head with a hard branch.

He woke up, he was being taken into a cell.

With the help of the delinquents of karasuno and commander kenma, they run back to the tower.

When your hair dropped, he felt so relieved.

Well, not for long.

He got up and felt something sharp stab him.

A knife.

He fell to the ground with a groan.

You tried to run over but it was no use against the restraints.

He tried to refuse but you already made your deal.

That if you heal him, you would join your mother anywhere.

She was about to sing when kuroo took a shard of glass and cut your hair in half, seeing a figure fall off the tall tower, he smiled, fully losing consciousness.

You started to cry, your tears dripping onto his figure, light erupted and the wound was healing itself.

Kuroo woke up to your teary-eyed face.

You brought him into a tight embrace and made sure to keep you close.

You almost lost him but he's back. You promised that you'll always be at his side too.

 Omg this is so long- I'm sorry- ik that some parts with kuroo's aren't accurate to the film but meh, I did pretty well in my opinion! I might do a part 2 with oikawa and a few others! Requests are open for haikyuu and enstars so please leave some in my ask box! Love you guys❤😊😘

this is a reupload!

[foxterra]

Restless Nights

Adam has a nightmare.

“Adam!” Adam knows he’s dreaming. He’s positive this is a nightmare. This couldn’t be a fucking nightmare. “Adam! Help!”

No, the detective…Samantha is stronger than this. He knows it. He watches her train every day. She’s impulsive yes but not suicidal.

“Adam!”

Still, he storms through the door. Stops short just inside. The air is filled with that intoxicating scent of Samantha’s blood. It’s so thick with the sticky sweet scent he stumbles the ache in him suddenly flaring to new heights, then sinks like lead.

A bloody and bruised body lays on the stone floor. Raven hair slick with blood. Ignoring the smell of her blood, Adam surges towards her.

“No…no no no. Samantha.” Adam whispers gingerly rolling Samantha over. Her throat is torn her beautiful blue eyes dull.

“How could you?”

Adam reels back eyes wide as he stares at Samantha in horror. The lifeless body turns her broken head towards Adam.

“You promised to keep me safe. How could you do this to me?” Samantha demands blue lips moving as dead eyes pierce through him.

“How could you?!”

Adam jolts up in his bed breathing heavily. A nightmare. Just a nightmare. Or was it?

Adam throws off his covers and is out of the room in record time. He storms down the halls of the warehouse, taking twists and turns easily until he was standing in front of a door. Samantha’s door.

He can’t hear anything. Panic grips him in ice cold claws and digs in. His breathing comes out in gasps. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening this can’t be-

“Adam?”

Adam spins around. He had been too wrapped up in his panic. His fear that what he had seen had been real. Yet, there Samantha stood her hair falling out of the braid, wearing one of his shirts, and clutching a cup of milk. He’s suddenly in front of her, hands on her shoulders before cupping her face. He presses their foreheads together and closes his eyes.

She smells of lavender and sandalwood. Her heart beat strong and steady. Her skin warm beneath his hands and he would have tackled her if it wasn’t for the cup of warmed milk she was holding.

“Come on.” Samantha whispers gently taking one of his hands. She nudges her door open with her hip, another indicator that Adam should have spotted, and lets him in closing the door behind him.

Adam made a point to stay out of Samantha’s room at the warehouse. It was supposed to be her safe haven. A place to retreat from the supernatural world even when she stayed at the warehouse like tonight.

At the beginning it seemed to be a basic cozy style from what Adam remembered. But the bright colors have been replaced with a softer pallet of blues, purples, and greens. Samantha’s habits developed in the military still carried over in her personal life, everything was neat and organized and even her blankets have been pulled up after she got up to get the glass of milk.

Samantha drained the rest of her drink and pulls down the covers. “Sit.” She tells him taking her glass to the bathroom to rinse it out and set to the side to take back to the kitchen in the morning. When she comes out, she turns the lights off behind her, climbing into bed and curls up next to Adam draping her leg across his waist.

Adam’s hands immediately settle on Samantha, one hand on her thigh and the other gently tangled into her hair. He turns his head and buries his nose into her hair, breathing her in. They stayed tangled up like this for so long, yet Adam knows that Samantha is awake. Waiting for him to speak. To gather his thoughts and he’s so grateful that Samantha is patient.

Eventually, Adam speaks. A nightmare of finding her, bloody and dead and she listens quietly. Letting Adam get it all out at once. Ripping the band aid off in one go only to get it soothed after.

“Do vampires dream differently?” Samantha eventually asks. Mulling over his dream trying to figure out why and how it was so painful for him for her to find him at her door looking like his world had been torn from his tight grasp.

“Our dreams, or nightmares, are more…intense.” Adam answers slowly. “We don’t dream often as humans, but when we do it…” He trails off unable to find an accurate way to describe the visceral realness of the dreams.

“So, you worry about finding me dead.” Samantha states moving her hand up from his waist to rest on his chest, just over his heart, and smiles into the dark as he covers her hand with his own.

“It’s my one greatest fear.” Adam whispers.

“Alright, then sleep with me.” Samantha states and can only imagine how Adam looks when his head is lifted from hers. The incredulous expression she would often find amusing. “You came to my bedroom looking for me. So, sleep with me when you do sleep so that if you have another nightmare I’ll be right there.” She explains sitting up slightly to look in Adam’s general direction. “You can do that, right? Just share a bed with me?”

Adam can clearly see the wicked smirk on Samantha’s lips. He huffs softly but smiles slightly. If anything, Samantha did keep her word it will be just sleep tonight.

“I believe you can behave yourself for the rest of the night.” Adam says with a smirk as Samantha scoffs.

“Behave myself.” Samantha mocks as they slide under the covers together. “I can behave myself.”

“Truly.” Adam teases feeling at ease with their teasing bantering. He kisses her forehead softly stopping whatever she was about to say. “Thank you.” He whispers against her skin.

“Anything for you.” Samantha mumbles snuggling closer to Adam. “Now. Try to get some sleep.” She mumbles smiling softly when her duvet and blankets were tugged up higher. Content as Adam wraps himself around her and they both quickly drift off to sleep.

[rouge-the-bat]

was tagged by @pansapphicpositivity on my bi-lesbian blog!! but putting onto my main here, tho ill have some of the blog-specific parts of this with deets from both my main here and my bi-lesbian blog since it was the one tagged!

Name: Rouge ♡

Gender: Feminenby with a hint of boy (girl/enby is def most prominent in my gender so i mostly use feminenby!), and lovegender ! i sometimes also use glitchgender. i go by any pronouns but love lo/lov and fae/faer most !! (some other labels i fall into/use are genderfae/genderfaer, genderfluid, bigender, genderflux, agender, demigirl, demiboy, genderqueer, and just general nonbinary. maybe some others im forgetting-)

Height: uhhh last i remember i think i was 5'2" ??? but i forget last time i measured my height

Sexuality: Bi lesbian and ace ! im also cupioromantic (with a hella confusing relationship to attraction) and polyamorous! and its not a part of asexuality in general, but my ace identity goes hand in hand with my sex repulsion.

Favorite animal: bats and cats are probably tied for my absolute faves owo!!

Current time: its 8:40 pm as i type this ! post will probably be posted a lil bit after tho

Dream job: graphic designer, specifically for designing characters and such for video games !!! character design is my #1 interest 🥺

When i made this account: god uhhh... sometime in 2016.. i think? im not sure tbh fkhdjfb and my bi-lesbian blog was made uhm.... towards the beginning of 2020...? god idk how accurate these are my perception of time is fucked

Why i made it: i made this blog just bc i was curious about this site n wanted to try out social media stuff more, bc i never really heavily interacted with much of anything online for most of my life. why i made my bi-lesbian blog tho was bc i was sick and fucking tired of exclusionists attacking me and just wanted to currate a little place for myself with positivity for my bi lesbian identity, and to have some explanation stuff on it. figured itd be good for anyone else that identified the same and wanted a safe spot, or for ppl wanting to learn- i honestly expected it to just stay really small tho i didnt expect it to get so much attention 😳 im really glad its p much become like The hotspot for bi lesbian stuff tho, it makes me happy :'3

Reason for url: starfaerry bc its a play on the word strawberry but with star and faerie put together! just bc i like all of those things owo. bi-lesbian just bc well. thats the identity its about lol

Followers: 597 on my main here, and 1709 on my bi-lesbian blog !!!! (its still so crazy to me that its gotten that high aa)

im once again tagging @spiiderbiites @miphelda @kipokin @queerplyke @ameila and @skayforrest ♡♡

[the-little-shoebox]

1-100 do it scrub

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED LET"S GO!!!! SORRY FOR THE WALL!

1. What is you middle name?Actually don’t legally have one.2. How old are you?213. When is your birthday?September 134. What is your zodiac sign?Virgo5. What is your favorite color?Green or orange. Both are very good.6. What’s your lucky number?759 and 1137. Do you have any pets?No but I reeeeeeeally want some!8. Where are you from?I’m from Louisiana, the boot of the country. 9. How tall are you?IRL I’m around 5 foot 6. Average height my dude.10. What shoe size are you?10 and a half to 11… yeah big feet for kicking your a-

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?Like…. 2 or three? One tearing about as the seams. 12. What was your last dream about?I…. don’t remember. But I do remember it involved tripping over my roommate’s mountain of clothes while shouting at her for something.13. What talents do you have?Not blinking, screaming a variety of sounds, needle felting, embroidery. 14. Are you psychic in any way?No, not at all psychic.15. Favorite song?DON"T MAKE ME CHOOSE! Well, one of my favorites of all time is ‘Life itself’ By Glass animals. Though Missio songs have been growing on me.16. Favorite movie?Ok this is gonna be weird but Matilda is one of my favorite movies. Watch it whenever it comes on TV. 17. Who would be your ideal partner?Alrighty have them. They’re up above making me answer all these in one go. Love ya babe!18. Do you want children?No. Kids intimidate me.Only fur babies. 19. Do you want a church wedding?Nah. They seem a little too formal for my taste.20. Are you religious?Well I was a long time ago, but I’ve honestly fallen out of it over the years.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?Yes. Emergency stitches.22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?The closest time I did was because we tried to walk home via railroad tracks ditching mom at a pizza place. I was put in the back seat of the cop car and cried thinking I was gonna go to jail. I drew a smiley face on the foggy window……. I was young and stupid.23. Have you ever met any celebrities?Nnnnnnnope!24. Baths or showers?Baths all the way, I enjoy just soaking and totally not falling asleep in the water.25. What color socks are you wearing?I have no socks on now. Jokes on you!26. Have you ever been famous?I’m not famous. Nooooooot at all.27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?Noooooo. I like being in the shadows.28. What type of music do you like?Little bit of everything, but mostly pop or really chill music.29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. 30. How many pillows do you sleep with?Three at most. Hug them all

31. What position do you usually sleep in?It shifts to on my back or on my side just curled up among the blankets.32. How big is your house?Honestly not that big. Simple little adobe.33. What do you typically have for breakfast?If I’m at home a sandwich, but really it’s anything I can grab. Maybe some chips. 34. Have you ever fired a gun?Only a water gun. Never touching a real gun.35. Have you ever tried archery?Actually I have! Not too bad at it!36. Favorite clean word?Clean word…… Moxie. I love just saying moxie.37. Favorite swear word?Bumblefuck……. Some friends help make that.38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?24 hours. Worst night of my life39. Do you have any scars?A few! Claw marks on my arm, but the most infamous one is on the bottom of my left foot. That one needed the stitches.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?If I did they hid it really really well.41. Are you a good liar?Oh no I’m the absolute worst liar. Anyone can tell you that.42. Are you a good judge of character?I like to think it’s about 75 percent accurate? I have a decent enough judge, but it sometimes glitches and I feel like crap for it.43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?I……. no? 44. Do you have a strong accent?Not really. It abandoned me.45. What is your favorite accent?I’m a sucker for like Irish tones. They’re neat to me!46. What is your personality type?If it’s the letter’s thing it’s ENFP. IF I had to say for myself….. loud.47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?I really don’t know. Maybe this one nice light blue jacket I have. I can’t answer that honestly.48. Can you curl your tongue?I think so!49. Are you an innie or an outie?Innie.50. Left or right handed?Ya girl leftie all the way!

51. Are you scared of spiders?Only a few like Brown Recluse and Black widows. All the others are perfectly fine with me. 52. Favorite food?Chicken and Dumplings. My favorite comfort food when I can get it.53. Favorite foreign food?I’d have to say eggrolls and Mongolian chicken. I really love Mandarin food apparently.54. Are you a clean or messy person?Messy. No question about it. I live in a rat’s nest. Working on it though!55. Most used phrased?Either 'you got this!’ or 'FIGHT ME!’56. Most used word?Bruh. I say bruh IRL waaaay too much.57. How long does it take for you to get ready?3-5 Minutes…. not counting the hour is takes for me to actually wake up.58. Do you have much of an ego?No? I least I hope I don’t.59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?Both. I do both.60. Do you talk to yourself?All the time.

61. Do you sing to yourself?Even more so! 62. Are you a good singer?Ehhhhh, we’ll call it so so.63. Biggest Fear?Lightning. I absolutely freeze up and cower from it. Not fun.64. Are you a gossip?…… yeah in recent years I have collected a lot of dirt. But I only receive it and don’t spread it. I hoard all your secrets for myself. 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?How’s how to train your dragon 2 count?66. Do you like long or short hair?I have a pension for shorter hair, every to fun your fingers through.67. Can you name all 50 states of America?I better if I flipping live here!68. Favorite school subject?Art(Duh), but if we didn’t have that I have a soft spot for history or Speech and Debate.69. Extrovert or Introvert?Extrovert. I scream hi to everyone!70. Have you ever been scuba diving?No, but it sounds so fun!

71. What makes you nervous?Everything. Silence, chances in schedule, deadlines, my own thoughts. So…. everything.72. Are you scared of the dark?Not really. I love the dark. I am the dark.73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?Eh..... no. They’ll figure it out on their own.74. Are you ticklish?I am not disclosing this information.75. Have you ever started a rumor?No thank god. That ain’t my style!76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?I mod servers on discord and I do them very well. So yes, that is my authority.77. Have you ever drank underage?No thank you. Not really a fan of alcohol from the looks alone.78. Have you ever done drugs?No….unless caffeine counts.79. Who was your first real crush?My first crush was a guy in like fifth grade called Mark. Annnnnd that was the first time I had my heart crushed in front of me. Luckily he grew up to be a jerk so I’m over it. 80. How many piercings do you have?Zero. I am a chicken.

81. Can you roll your Rs?“Pretty sure I butcher them when I try.82. How fast can you type?Honestly not that fast. 83. How fast can you run?Depends, who am I chasing?84. What color is your hair?Dark Brown, almost black.85. What color is your eyes?Brown as well. 86. What are you allergic to?Seafood, wasps and bee stings, penicillin. 87. Do you keep a journal?Not really. Though i may try to do one again!88. What do your parents do?My mom is a retired teacher. She…. doesn’t really do that much now.89. Do you like your age?Yeah. I’m content with my age and where things look to be going now!90. What makes you angry?Small things, disrespecting arts, just blunt stupidity. Anything off r/insanefacebook.I get angry at a looooot of things.

91. Do you like your own name?Yes I do. I am proud of my name!92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?I have even though I don’t want kids. Though I can’t remember them at the moment.93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?NO KIDS!94. What are your strengths?Drawing expressions, optimism, staying motivated to do a thing.95. What are your weaknesses?Anger, paranoia, long list of health issues. 96. How did you get your name?I have no idea.97. Were your ancestors royalty?I don’t freaking know!98. Do you have any scars?I ALREADY ANSWERED THIS!!!!!99. Color of your bedspread?Dark grey.100. Color of your room?White….. it’s a dorm room.

[lapzidorus]

Nothing for Nothing

Wha!? Where did everything go? Just a moment before, that car rammed straight into ours, and now it's just me, floating here in darkness stretching as far as I can see – not that I can even see my hands right in front of me because there is no light. I am still wearing my long-sleeved jacket and jeans, though, which was originally to avoid attracting too much attention. Am I dead? Is this what it’s like after you die? Am I just stuck here in eternal suspension, or is my fate still yet to come?

   Something taps the edge of my shoe, and I pull my leg back out of reflex, barely holding back a gasp. I peer down and see nothing still. I reach my foot back out and feel a hard, flat surface – a wall? Or perhaps a floor to settle on! When I reach my hand over for a feel of the texture, the rest of me suddenly plops onto it. Yup, it’s a floor – a cold, though smooth one.

    Relying solely on my touch, I position my hands and legs with care, taking my time with getting up. Once I'm on my feet, I tread forward slowly, reaching my hands out to feel anything in front of me. This goes on for a few minutes before my scrawny arms can’t take any more of the strain and I need to set them down. If only I had exercised more. I sink my hands into my pockets and continue walking, stopping every now and then to feel around the floor in front of me. Where am I anyway, and why is everything so dark?

    Several more uneventful minutes pass by before I decide to sit and rest my tired legs, seeing no more sense in continuing. My mind has gone numb from lack of stimulation, so I might just go to sleep right here. I slip my hood on and lay my head down, doing my best to get comfortable.

    Soon after, though, an assortment of crackling and crunching sounds starts up all around me. Oh, now something's happening! Well, what is it?

    These noises grow slowly louder over a minute or so, bringing my ears moderate discomfort, until they abruptly end. A few seconds after that, a large, round cluster of hexagonal holes, towering at about four times my height, brightens up before me in a crystal-y green color, making me step back in surprise – and turn away in horror. Ugh, I finally see something, and it happens to trigger my mild Trypophobia! At least now I know I haven’t gone blind. What even_ _is it, anyway?

    Once I can bring myself to stare fixedly at the unpleasant sight, my first observation is the source of its light: six closed-up hexagons twice their size of the others surround the edges of a deep hole. Also visible are six dark, bladed wing-like appendages protruding around its sides, and a thick tail of a similar shade that the creature appears to be standing with.

    I then hear the entity speak. “Hhellloooo!” Its swaying, high-pitched voice and its jovial tone fall into an uncanny valley between welcoming and threatening, which is accentuated by the disorienting echoes that bounce randomly around us.

    My mind is falling into shambles! Where am I? What am I looking at? Why are things playing out like this? Was I being watched the whole time? Oh, how stupid I probably looked! What’s going to happen next?!

    Hold on! This could all just be a lucid dream; but my dreams tend to be much faster-paced than this, though. Oh wait, I was just greeted by this thing; I should probably say something too!

    I manage to cough out what seems like the most appropriate question to start things out. “Wha-…who are you?”

    "Ahem." The entity’s voice becomes more controlled, and the echoes settle within it. “Why, I am an overseer of sin, who keeps track of the unforgiven sins of every individual I am assigned to.”

    “S-so-” I tremble at my next words. “-am I…i-in hell?”

    “Nooo, not quite,” the overseer corrects as if trying to comfort me, their wings drooping down a little. “You might consider this your own personal ‘purgatory.' Every sinner has one, constructed and designed specifically for them whenever their life is put at risk."

    My eyes scroll across the surrounding expanse, the only light still being the overseer’s eerie luminescence. I guess this _does _match my propensity for anxiety; just gazing into it threatens to fill me with paranoia of something jumping out at me.

    The overseer continues, "Due to the exclusivity resulting from this system, we can generally only meet up with one person at a time; thus, there must be a bunch of us since many people can die at once, as you may already understand.” Way to rub it in, huh?

    I turn back to the overseer. “So, w-what now?” I ask, feeling slightly more at ease knowing I am not (yet) in hell.

    The overseer proceeds to slither around me as they begin, “Here, you are to reflect back on all of your unforgiven sins and confess them to me personally; this is specifically for your sake as I already know precisely what you're guilty of.”

    A large larva emerges halfway out of one of the overseer’s holes, causing a squeal of fright to just barely leak out of my lips. The overseer then comes to explain, “For each valid sin you properly admit to, no matter how small, one of these little sweeties will pop out to greet you from the hole corresponding to that sin. It seems, however, that this one can already sense your fearfulness, darling.”

    Yeah, I am quite the nervous wreck. “Yeah, heh heh, I do make that aspect of me clear, don’t I?”

    The overseer lets out a creepy, yet also innocent-sounding little chuckle. “Now, if your self-assessment turns out to be fully accurate, you get to decide your own punishment! How does that sound, hmm? We figured if a sinner understands where they went wrong, they might know how they ought to suffer as well, so it’s the least we can offer down here, hm-hm!” They finish their circle around me, their seemingly endless tail keeping me fenced inside, and return to their original height and position.

    So I can choose what happens to me? Does that mean anything so long as it’s bad? What are the rules on all of this?

    “Now, as a fair warning,” the overseer notes, their tone turning a tinge more serious, “we are in full power to bestow our originally planned punishment if we deem yours unfit.” They lean forward in a rather intimidating fashion. “Do you understand?”

    I nod my head in short, meek bobs. “Yes, I understand everything.”

    “Alright then!” they announce with returning cheer, wings thrusted upward. “Let’s get started.”

    I think it over for a bit before I know just what to say. “Okay, well…I’ve done nothing.”

    The overseer’s wings flap oh-so-slightly. “What’s that, dearie?”

    “I did nothing in my life to get here. What I mean by that is, I-I should’ve done stuff but didn’t. I had grown to fear the feelings and consequences of failure, defeat, and disappointment at an early age, so I never took up any tasks that weren't in my direct way like, say, obligatory school assignments, nor did I seize any social outlets. I also couldn't stand up for myself in the oddly few times I was picked on; I_ did_ learn to blend in very well, though."

    The larva wriggles slightly up and down, presumably in excitement. “Very good so far,” the overseer interjects. “Now please, continue.”

    As I allow my repressed feelings of guilt to resurface and guide my words, my delivery smoothens and boldens, and I begin to gently pace left and right. “Furthermore, I held back from speaking my own mind except whenever I was forced to. Even if I shared my own thoughts, though, I wouldn’t have much to say ‘cause I refrained from developing any opinions or beliefs beyond the bare necessities, if that makes any sense. On that note, I was afraid to be skeptical of things, but I was also reluctant to hold faith in them; I wouldn’t commit myself to any side or any_thing._ I became complacent, unsocial, unproductive and, quite frankly, sort of lazy.”

    A second larva slinks out from a different hole while the first one thrashes about more violently. “Yes, yes, darling! Spot on!”

    “My mom eventually caught on to my inactivity, however, and had me join a co-worker’s son and his friends on a trip to someplace I forget. Of course, I couldn't conjure up the strength to resist the order. They were a diverse group, though, I must admit; I probably could’ve made at least one new friend if I tried.

    “Anyway, after our light at an intersection went green, the driver forgot to look both ways, and all the passengers were too busy with themselves or each other to see another driver speeding through from our left. Admittedly, though, I kind of only caught them from my peripherals myself despite my well-developed observational skills. Now, I knew I had to alert everyone in the car, but my lips clammed up; I guess a part of me winced at the supposedly unflattering image of a quiet person like myself suddenly shouting out to "Look out!", so how about we just add pride to this list, too, while we’re at it?”

    At this point my guilt and shame become so overwhelming that I can't look at the overseer anymore, and instead I gaze downward with my fingers gripping my hair and face. “Augh, that would’ve been my turning point; I could’ve saved all those people and started making progress with myself, but I went and blew it, all because I was so cowardly and selfish and pathetic that I couldn’t get myself to actually talk to people or accomplish anything my entire life!”

    I wipe my dampened eyes and cheeks on my sleeves and look back up at the overseer. What a mess I probably look like right now. “And now, here I am,” I sob, swinging an arm open to gesture, “pouring out my soul after it’s already too late for any more such chances. If only I became like this when it still would’ve mattered; I might've actually grown to love myself more.”

    Once I've calmed down, I can see that a peculiar arthropod now rests in the central hole. Could that represent-?

    “Well done, dear,” the overseer congratulates. “You’ve recapped all of your sins with perfect honesty, including the one running behind all sin: pride. Now, your newly found confidence can still serve one purpose.” They lean down in anticipation. “It’s time to choose your punishment.”

    “Nothing's going to happen to me,” I answer in a weak breath of defeat, “not good or bad. What should I reap if I hadn’t sowed anything in the first place? It’s best that you just leave me here to wither out in total isolation.”

    “Hmmm,” the overseer mutters in a jarringly ominous tone. “Perhaps you’re not quite as fun as I’d hoped.” They begin to back out, their tail pulling back out from around me and their light beginning to faintly flicker out. Well, here comes total darkness again.

    Once the overseer vanishes from my sight entirely, those weird crunches and crackles from earlier return, this time they gradually muffling out over time until they are gone once more. A loud, but gentle ting then goes off high above my head as if for closure.

    So...did I choose the right punishment? I figured they would’ve wanted a punishment that corresponded with the deed. It could be that mere isolation isn't severe or intense enough. If that’s the case then, what awaits me now, and how long do I have to wait?

    My next thought makes my heart jump: perhaps the punishment has already started! They might've unleashed a demonic beast of some sort to ravage me for all eternity. Or maybe I'm doomed to forever experience unprompted jump scares with no way to brace myself for them! Oh, the stress is killing me already! I think I’ll just lie back down again; maybe the torment won’t be so terrible then.

    I slip my hood back on and lay my whole body on the floor before shutting my eyes. If only I had the chance to make things right.

    If only I were able to escape this crazy nightmare.

    A bright light suddenly hits my eyelids. I prop myself up with my left arm and protect my eyes with my right hand, letting my hood slide off the back of my head. I note how the light is white. This isn’t a trap, is it; some scare to strike home how there's no hope of getting out? Well, whatever, then; there's really nothing left for me to lose.

    I move my hand aside to see what looks like a huge gash in the supposed ceiling. This opening – and the light emanating from it – seems oddly devoid of the desolation that had enwrapped me since I got here, which I sort of sense burning away. When I stand and take a step forward, I feel my feet lift off the floor, taking me by surprise. I look down to see my blurry reflection on the floor, and half a smile cracks through one cheek. Could I really be receiving grace after death?

    As I am drawn closer to the light, a soft blanket of silk envelops my body, and I close my eyes and lift my head in preparation; it looks like I am being granted salvation! No longer will I waste away my days leaving zero impact wherever I go. I can now become a lively individual who expresses thoughts and emotions in earnest, generates healthy social connections, and learns to feel legitimate love in all of it's forms!

    My new life begins here! 

[blaisein]

- ̗̀ TASK 001 – THE INTERVIEW !!

❝ CAN YOU TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF ?? ❞

"how cute, it’s almost like we’re on a first date, work daddy! but, for the record,” she smirked, leaning into his shirt and tapping him lightly with a finger, whispering the usual ‘testing, testing, one two three’ as if he was hiding a microphone for recording purposes. “AHEM. my name is blaise kovalsky, i’ll be nineteen years old as of tomorrow, and.. hmm... i’m from france but i’ve been here long enough not to have an accent and to seem like i’m a native english speaker, what a talent... uh... oh! okay, some traits of mine: i have quicksilver wit, a great ass, a warm personality, and i hate a number of things: valentine’s day, outside, brunch, smiling, talking to people about things, boring adult stuff like shower curtains and owning more than one fork, phone conversations –– as any sane human should, they’re simply dreadful ––– and being efficient. that’s me!” blaise concluded with a grin, placing the palms of her hands beneath her chin so she could smile at her boss like a pageant queen, sparkling with sincerity and sweetness.

❝WHAT POSITION ARE YOU APPLYING FOR AND HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT IT ?? ❞

"well, that would be the position of assistant store manager, whiskey,” the blonde replied, cocking her head to the side and folding her hands in her lap, trying to appear as normal as possible for this one set of questions. truthfully, blaise didn’t really know why she wants this position, as it would seem to carry even more responsibilities than the one she’s had for a little over a year and a half now. however, considering one of the ones above her on the totem pole just left and rent money was getting kind of tight, she figured there wasn’t a reason why she shouldn’t give it a shot. for all she knew, maybe she would grow to enjoy possessing a bit of power in a place with which she’d grown comfortable. “i heard about it because i already work here, and whatever-the-hell-his-name-is made it seem fairly simple, so i’m sure i could do it charmingly.”

❝ WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE COMPANY ?? ❞

"everything,” she blurted without pause, shifting her head to the side as she lines up her gaze with her interviewer, peeling her eyes as they meet his. “i’ve been here for over a year now, i’ve done my time familiarizing myself with sun diego. i really know everything there is to know about the chain at this point. i know what surfboards are best for people of a certain height, i know how to accurately guys someone’s size from looking at them, i’ve been to the original store in solana beach. i’m the real deal.”

❝ WHY DO YOU WANT THIS JOB ?? ❞

biting her lip as she paused, blaise allowed this question to go unanswered for a moment as she gathered her thoughts, considering how to articulate her reasons for wanting to be promoted –– part of her was still unsure why she would purposefully do such a thing. “i think i need it,” came out abruptly, before her mind put it through her filter of salt that was necessary for all her replies. “i would definitely love the extra cash, but it’s not just that. i need to finally start learning how to be more responsible, and with this position i think i could accomplish that.” sure, 95% of that was bullshit, but deep down there was some truth to that reply, whether she wanted to admit it or not. 

❝ WHY SHOULD WE HIRE YOU ?? ❞

“because i know i will do it well,” the blonde began, clearing her visage of any sign of teasing; she was being genuine for once. “the customers here love me, for some reason. our clientèle think i’m really funny. plus, i’m a delegator, and that’s one of the job requirements. i have an open schedule, i can fit anything that you throw my way with these longer hours. sure, i have a terrible attitude and i love to complain, but all in all, i do this job pretty damn well.”

❝ WHAT ARE YOUR GREAT PROFESSIONAL STRENGTHS ?? ❞

"i’m not afraid to say no when it’s necessary. i can spot bullshit from a mile away –– if anyone tries to call in ‘sick’ on my watch, i’ll tear their ass apart. i never let it be boring in the work place, i can almost always get a customer to buy something if i really want them to,” she listed off on her fingers, fully aware that a great deal of her strengths had the possibility of not being strengths at all. “i’m great with our system here, i know how to get a co-worker out of a pinch in a second, and i know you know that’s true, whiskey. the only thing i’m missing now are the codes and the keys that would come with being assistant.”

❝ WHAT WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOUR WEAKNESSES ?? ❞

tittering into the back of her hand, blaise peeled her cerulean gaze away from his viridian one, simply amused by the question, as it was a no-brainer that half the people she worked with knew that she possessed a great deal of weaknesses, and what they are.”i’m a cunt, let’s just say it. i can be pretty rude to co-workers and customers –– but those guys oddly seem to like it, whenever it’s not creepy rude. uh... honestly you’d probably be better answering this question for me.”

❝ WHAT IS THE GREATEST PROFESSIONAL ACHIEVEMENT ?? ❞

"being hired at the great, late company of sun diego!” she replied cheerily, throwing her hands in the air as if it was something that needed to be celebrated. after a moment she cleared her throat and settled back into her lazy position, running a hand through her stick-straight locks as she considered the question seriously. “if we’re being earnest here, i guess is was just a week and a half ago at black friday. our system was totally backed up and everyone was freaking out, so i yelled for everyone to be quiet –– they did –– and then got us up and running in a few minutes. i guess that’s another reason why i thought i’d be good for this job. i work pretty great under pressure, ironically.”

❝ WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 5 YEARS ?? ❞

sighing, she settled deeper into her chair, crossing one leg over the other as she contemplated the question, blond brows knitted together: an outward signal of her inner indecision. “y’know, i could come up with really bizarre, smart ass reply to this, but i’m just going to answer honestly: i don’t know. i bet you guys are looking for some big grandiose plan that driven, organized people have, people who possess vision and determination. but, is it so bad for me to not want to think it all out, plan shit and just get disappointed? i prefer my route: letting life hit it as it comes and not trying to force it to be something it wasn’t meant to be.”

❝ WHAT IS YOUR DREAM JOB ?? ❞

sucking in a big gust of air through parted lips, blaise leaned forward, rubbing her palms together, the friction sending her skin warm and raw from excitement. “ooh, i’ve been thinking about this for a while, and i think i have the perfect answer. my dream job would be: finding things that people love to do and then sending them away from me. i’m not sure if there’s a place to do this, but i would love to just get people out of my hair, make them happy so they shut up, and then make sure they go far far away. sounds great, right?”

❝ WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO OUTSIDE OF WORK ?? ❞

blaise cocked her head at this inquiry, a warm hum slipping through the pressed pillows of her mouth, her tongue tracing shapes on the hard bone of her teeth behind the barrier. “well, i do have a certain affinity for staying indoors, watching really gory horror movies, and hanging out with my cat. i don’t really like to do all that much. in fact, i prefer to do nothing with no one. but, i guess i can be spotted at the beach every now and then, if someone really drags me out there.”

❝ IF YOU WERE AN ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE ?? ❞

"i’d be a black cat –– but not just any black cat, specifically a black cat that is a witches familiar. that way i’d be all around the magic, plus i get to scare the shit about of superstitious bitches, i’d probably get them cursed or something.” leaning back into her chair, blaise allowed herself a moment to think about this possibility, a soft smile growing on her lips. “shit, do you think i can apply for that job instead?”

❝ DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR US ?? ❞

"is this when you and i leave to go bang? i don’t need a dinner and a movie, let’s just cut straight to the chase, jamie.”

[flutegirl0422]

Some Dear Evan Hansen Headcanons

I would have sent these to dearevanhansenheadcanons but my imagination ran away from me and they deserve some rest, so here are some of my favorites (more under the cut):

Highlights from Connor’s book list include the following:

Spring Awakening It’s  Kind of a Funny Story Wuthering Heights Dante’s Inferno Space Station Seventh Grade

He honorable mentions the Harry Potter series because he couldn’t justify putting 7 books in one spot, also everyone puts them in their top ten and damn it if he’s gonna be like anyone else

Zoe had found another favorite book list of Connor’s while they cleaned up his room. He put Anna and the French Kiss as the second entry, right after Go The Fuck to Sleep.

Some nights when he didn’t want to go back home, Connor went to a Barnes and Noble on the other side of town. He would buy a cup of coffee and read until the store closed. The night manager thought he was just a homeless kid, and wouldn’t say anything when he saw Connor writing notes in the margins. The night manager planned on buying the books on his discount and giving them to Connor, but there were so many books that he would have gone broke. Instead, he just kept those copies in the back and marked them out as stolen inventory. After seeing Evan’s speech online, the manager figured out who Connor was and sent all of the books to the Murphys.

Jared went with his parents to the Pottery Barn Evan worked at to get some stuff for his dorm. Evan hid in the back after he saw them come in but made sure his co-worker rang them up with the friends and family discount. Jared saw him anyway but he pretended not to notice.

Jared and Evan ran into each other several years later, having moved to the same city for work. Jared makes sure to thank Evan for the Pottery Barn discount, and tries to meet up with him once a month. Jared says it’s because his mom would nag him until they did it, even after all this time,  but truth is Jared missed Evan a lot more than he realized. 

After Zoe and Evan broke up, Evan couldn’t attend any pep rallies or sporting events for the rest of the year because if anyone in the band saw him, they would start playing Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love a Bad Name”, regardless of the context. (You can’t break a band kid’s heart without consequences)

After Connor’s death, the school’s band director commissioned a new work in his honor and they debuted it at the end of the school year. It becomes the next “An American Elegy” and eventually Evan’s son plays it when he is in high school. Evan cried through the entire performance.

Alana continues The Connor Project while she’s in college, where she studies social work. She eventually expands the organization to have a nationwide presence and often works with other groups like To Write Love on Her Arms, and with her local representatives to influence policy changes to help mentally ill people. 

Evan becomes a foster parent as soon as he is financially stable so he can make sure the kids that need it have at least one positive father figure in their life. He makes sure all of his kids know the right way to break in a  glove.

During a therapy session, Cynthia admits to Zoe that she hid a lot of Connor’s illness from Zoe to protect her, but later realized that all it did was drive her children apart. Zoe knows it doesn’t excuse anything he did to hurt her, but she admits that she never considered how much Connor might have been hurting too. 

Zoe eventually goes into music therapy, joining forces with Alana to build a network of pro bono therapeutic services available through The Connor Project to people who can’t afford it.

The first time Jared and Evan met, they bonded over their love of anime. Jared laughed when he found out that Evan hadn’t ever seen Naruto and his favorite show was Ouran High School Host Club. Later that night Jared watched (and loved) all of Ouran so he could make fun of Evan in an even more accurate way. This basically cemented the tone of their relationship moving forward. 

Connor was obsessed with Daria and always wanted to start a band called Mystik Spiral. He also wrote multiple think pieces about how Tom Sloane was a pretentious prick and how Trent 100% would have changed for Daria and to imply that he wouldn’t was ridiculously lazy writing. (Not that he was projecting or anything)

Sincerely Three are all asexual, I don’t make the rules. Evan is biromantic, Jared is  super gay, and Connor would express all of his attractions with     ¯\_(ツ)_/¯     (probably quoiro or aro but he doesn’t wanna label it)

Evan doesn’t figure out he’s ace until he gets to college. He always thought he didn’t want to fool around with Zoe because he was so stressed out about keeping up the lies, but after a short relationship with someone in one of his classes, Evan realized he didn’t really want to fool around with anyone. That said, he is the most hopeless romantic in the history of the world and longs for the day when he can have the wedding of his dreams. 

Heidi doesn’t have a lot of extras in her life, but she specifically budgets for her cable package to include the Hallmark channel. She and Evan watch all of their Christmas movies together, both in December and during the Christmas in July marathon. Evan groans about how predictable the plots are but he secretly loves it and may or may not have a tiny crush on Candace Cameron Bure.

Jared and Evan always go to pride together after they’ve reunited. Jared definitely dressed up as the Babadook one year, but regretted it instantly because of the heat. It was the only year he didn’t get a sunburn, though.

Jared is low key obsessed with Big Time Rush. Evan is the only person who knows about it and he went with Jared to the state fair one year to see them in concert. Evan also became low key obsessed and has a massive crush on both Kendall and Jo. 

Jared is obsessed with Steven Suptic/Sugar Pine 7 and dreams to start a similar style vlog featuring Evan and Alana, but they keep trying to destroy his camera whenever he takes it out. 

[chargenovasmash]

Six Drink Sara (Pt. 3)

(Yet ANOTHER installment handcrafted by the ever-brilliant @pathfindersemail and myself, featuring Sarianna Ryder, Puck, and a whole lot of nausea and exhaustion.  It’s long, ~2800 words, but it’s cute, and there’s no puking this time.)

Pathfinder, the morning shift is beginning.

Sara’s half-embarrassed realization that SAM had never needed to say those words to her before was quickly overtaken by intense throbbing pressure in her head.  No amount of burying her face in pillows would alleviate the intense pain she should have expected, if she was being completely honest with herself, from last night’s attempt to escape an entirely different kind of pain.  With the sort of heavy groan one gives when their body fully refuses to cooperate, Sara managed to spill off of the bed like a viscous fluid.  She jammed the heels of both hands into her forehead as she rose to her feet far more quickly than she should have, sucking the air around her in through gritted teeth.

The decently low lighting of the Tempest’s lower deck felt garishly bright as Sara staggered out of her quarters, still groaning, hugging the wall and using one hand as a visor.  Someone already had coffee on in the galley; a straight walk there and back was all the pathfinding she felt up to in her current condition. 

“Well.  You look like hell.”

Normally, the silken flange of Vetra Nyx’s voice was a comfort - a relief, even.  Now, it served only to increase the tempo of the pulsing ache in her head, and it didn't help that Sara knew the turian’s observation was an objective truth.

“Thanks,” she huffed, carefully turning to face her friend and forcing her eyes into a glower she hoped appeared more unamused than completely miserable.

“Rough night?”

“You could say that.”

Vetra breathed an amused chuckle, and offered Sara a cup of coffee.  “How much did you drink?”

“Too much.”  The aroma swept into her nose as she cradled the Initiative-branded mug in her hands, and for just a moment she felt a bit of the shifting in her stomach ease.  Just a bit, though.  

“Ugh, I don't ever want to even see alcohol again.”

“I'll tell Liam to hide his beer stash, then.”

The laughter came before Sara was ready for it, and the lingering queasiness returned soon after.  A quick sip of coffee quelled the waves in her stomach for the moment, but the calm was short lived.  Soon after taking in the soothing warmth of the caffeinated beverage, a throbbing gnawed at her temples, as if to remind her of a very obstinate headache.  

“How'd I get back here, anyway?”

“Guy from the docks brought you up.  Said someone else walked off the lift from the slums with you over their shoulders and dropped you off in the bay.”

Vetra’s narration, however sparse, prompted enough of a recollection that seemed to worsen the lingering headache.  The sound of a strange yet coaxing voice and the burning in her throat flashed through her head in incomprehensible episodes.

“You...really don't remember?”  

Sara let her eyelids rest briefly while she slowly turned her head ever so slightly from side to side, confirming Vetra’s suspicions in the least nauseating way possible.

“I must've blacked out.  But…”

She scrunched her nose in that telltale sign of focused contemplation, mulling over the strewn about pieces of her memory.

“What?”

“It's probably nothing,” she said, punctuating her dismissal with a cautious sip, “but I had the weirdest dream.”

Puck kept herself busy while waiting for the Pathfinder to come to by rehearsing all of the most vulgar ways she could think of to tell Reyes to deal with his own spurned lovers from now on.  Although, ‘spurned lovers’ wasn’t that accurate of a term, now that she thought about it, especially not in this case.  Truthfully - and the breadth of knowledge she possessed regarding her friend’s personal life nearly caused Puck to start dry heaving herself - almost none could be considered ‘lovers’ at all; Reyes had mastered the art of honeyed words and bedroom eyes, but most of his famed ‘trysts’ involved little more than a few drinks and some god awful lines, and never made it past Umi’s door.  

Not her, though.  Of course, it had to be Sara Ryder that actually got to him.

Propped in a heap against the wall next to her, Sara let out a lazy groan in her sleep.  It was a faint but nonetheless sure sign she was alive, but Puck had to make sure of more than that.  She lodged a forefinger against the Pathfinder’s cheek, letting her head fall limply to the side.

Out like a candle.

As far as Puck was concerned, there was only good news to be had from the “mission.”  For one, if Sara came back to her crew in less than “safe” conditions, it wasn’t anyone but the alcohol’s fault - least of all hers.  And two, taking her back at that moment was as safe as it was going to get.

With a gruff sigh, Puck shifted in preparation to carry all that dead weight over her shoulder.  

“Well, Beans, it’s now or never.”

She wasn’t quite sure where the ultimatum came from, nor did she have the slightest idea in hell why, in the most opportune moment she’d had in a shitshow of an evening, she stalled.  What was certain, however, was the hint of relief - a slow, liberating weightlessness of being able to say the name out loud.  It was enough to distract her, and she held fast, even for just another moment, to that intensely satisfying rush of being able to talk to her cousin again.

Standing there before her unconscious figure, Puck realized hauling her to the docks in this condition would be much easier than having to drag Sara back to her ship kicking and screaming. Now, their ill-gotten moments of quiet afforded her some time to think, and thinking always led to dangerous things.

“Shit, if you hate him,” Puck began with an aloof shrug of her shoulder, “then you must hate me.” The last word faded off with the drone of her helmet’s voice changer.

Sara answered with a yawn, a move that nearly wrought havoc in Puck’s otherwise calmly aloof demeanor. To her relief, Sara merely shifted to her side as her mouth hung slightly agape - sure signs that she remained ever so deeply asleep.

Patience never was Puck’s strong suit.  Especially not when she had an itch, as was often the case when one was constantly covered head to toe in armor, and a perfect way to scratch it stared her right in the face.  

“Lot of shit’s going on right now.  You probably wouldn't believe me, but I’d tell you everything right now if I could.”  Ever incapable of taking anything too seriously, her head hung low in a soft chuckle.  “I bet you'd have the most ridiculous dumbass look on your face when you see it's me.”

She would end the speech there, but the caveat of such a reality quickly caught up with her.

“Well, if you don't try to kick my ass first.”

Now that they - or at least she - started, it proved harder to stop.  Whatever tension was there eased with the breeze that so rarely swept through a quiet evening in the slums, and she added an abrupt grunt to the wind as she unceremoniously plopped down on the ground.  Sitting next to her cousin, Puck couldn’t miss the irony of it all.  It was always Sara who needed a good listener, and it was her cousin who would lend an ear.  Now, she relished the reprieve granted by their reversed roles.  Puck, the inexplicably open book; and Sara, the good, albeit unconscious, listener.

“Remember that spot in the Wards on the Citadel where I used to smoke?  Where we used to go watch the ships and talk shit all night when shit got rough?  When your dad was being a colossal dick,” - she ended the last question with a bit of a grunt, nudging Sara with another brush of her knuckle as if it would help her remember - “or when the boy you liked didn't like you back?”

Puck laughed quietly to herself, forcing the corners of her mouth apart and the air out of it, as if doing so would make enough space to keep the supremely annoying welling of tears from escaping as well.  

“You always cried too fucking much.”

The lack of an answer bought her time to ponder the dingy if not altogether lackluster beige of the alleyway.  Wedged in the second level between a shanty store and Tartarus itself, their platform overlooked much of the slums’ squalor.  Sure enough, Puck was used to much greater heights; the kind that only two scrawny kids with the requisite agility and stubbornness could climb.  And instead of the beige blah of the poverty surrounding them, there was the sleek black neon of Zakera Ward.  Tall enough to watch the transporters whistle by with barely a care, and dark enough so no one would see where they hid past curfew.  Yet even in their more modest setting, she couldn’t help but feel just as invisible - invincible, even.  In Kadara, they had nothing but drunkards staggering home and the still-burning glow of a red giant in their horizons.  Somehow that felt safe enough, if not just as safe as being home again.  

“Reyes...he told me what you said to Zia about him, that he's a better man than she thought.”  “Heh, well coming from her that's not really saying shit, but you…”

Puck inched closer to her ever-dreaming listener out of the sudden concern that, perhaps, Sara might fall over without the support of her shoulder.   Looking over the damsel in question, she couldn’t help but glance askance over the formidable Pathfinder. Fast asleep, she looked almost calm if not for the twitchy wrinkle of her nose.  Sara’s face contorted as a result, and with that Puck suppressed what would normally have been a bellowing guffaw.  It was precisely the sort of forbidden moment she planned on remembering for herself, if only to allow herself the luxury of a secret.  

Reyes must enjoy these moments with her, too - not this precisely, or so she hoped, but similar little things.  Sara made some pretty entertaining faces when flustered or nervous, and Puck felt a sharp pang of resentment at her friend for missing this.     

“I don't know if he really loves you or not, Beans, but...I think he wants to.  You're something to him.  He's never gonna say it, that's...not his style.  With him, it's all about the little things.  He’s always got that shit-eating grin on his face, but it's softer when he talks about you.  He asks me to drag a lot of people out of bars for him, but he's only ever asked me to keep you safe.”

“So...don't hate him, okay?”

A reply would've been nice.  For fuck’s sake, the one time Puck wanted Sara to talk to her...

“And please don't hate me either.”

A groan answered her this time.  “Nnng… who…?”  Sara turned her head before she had the strength to lift the lid of her eyes.

Shit.  Shit, shit, shit.

A heavy furrowing of her brows brought a distorted crease over Sara’s features.  She woke with a bellow of a moan, barely able to stretch her still comatose limbs.  A quick turn of her head, and the languid expression of her face very quickly turned to that of exasperation.  

“Hey. Drink this.”

The Pathfinder’s eyes narrowed into tiny slits, and she put forth her best effort into a wobbly, skeptical backwards lean of her head.  Instead, a nagging migraine tipped the weight of her head over, sending it gently down onto Puck’s armor-clad shoulder.   “Where am I?”

“Same place.”  Through pitiful moans of protest, Puck shifted her shoulder so that Sara’s head was as close to upright as it was going to get.  She offered the flask again, with a bit less compromise this time.  “Drink some water.”

After staring back for an awkwardly long time with a slight curl of her upper lip, Sara reluctantly complied.  

“Heh,” she mused as she lowered the flask from her face, “my sixth drink for the night.”

“Finally.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Anyway, can you walk, or am I gonna have to carry you?”

A slow roll of laughter rumbled from her lips.

“What’s so funny?”

The laughter devolved into something of a choking sob. “I don’t… I don’t think I can.”

Puck’s eyebrow twitched in a suppressed groan beneath her mask.

The earlier forebodings of her tears came out in full force, as if Sara had suddenly remembered the very crux of her woes.  “He was supposed to come back. It’s been days!”

Her compassionate savior answered with a protracted silence.  “Tough shit. He isn’t here.”

“Yeah,” Sara shrugged.  “But you are.”

Even in that salt-soaked sardonic tone, even if Sara didn't know who she was really saying them to, those words from her lips pulled a reluctant but wide smile across Puck’s face.  

“Trust me, it’s good that he sent me.  It's not like he couldn't have gotten someone else to do it.  I only get called in for the really important shit, so, you know...take that however you want.”

Sara took the confession with a bemused sigh and a slight roll of her eyes.  Puck would have said more, but the Pathfinder seemed to take to her own guarded reticence as she withdrew further into herself.  With knees pressed firmly against her chest, a wistfulness overtook her temperament in the moments that followed.  

“I’m really tired.”

Having known Sara a bit more than most, Puck was more than tempted to offer up one last-ditch effort to be done with it all: to fling her cousin back over her shoulders and plop her back down on her ship.  But it was precisely the sort of indignity a Ryder would never suffer (much less someone as proud as Sara), so she settled instead to play at being therapist, if only for a moment.

“You know, if he’s such an asshole… why sit around waiting for him?  Why bother with him at all?”

The question struck something of a chord.  

“I don’t know,” she continued. “He just doesn’t seem your type.”  

Puck risked the observation, and she was met with what at least seemed like Sara’s tacit acceptance.  Much to her surprise, the question didn’t come up:  how could she know what was her type, if she had one?  It didn’t matter anyway. She was still in love with Reyes, and he was still not there.

“Maybe,” she countered with an unexpected hint of resignation. “But I know he needs me.”  If Sara had been less tired, no doubt a smile would have followed those words.  Instead she lifted her head enough to stare directly through Puck’s helmet with a newfound air of haughty resolve. “And I like feeling needed.”

“Don’t we all.”

Another yawn rolled from her lungs - wide and seemingly unending with the way she stretched her head back against the wall.  The heaviness in the air seemed to weigh down on her, for soon her face relaxed back into a dreamlike calm before her eyes slowly fluttered to a close.  It only took a few moments before the slowed rhythm of her unconscious breathing motioned the rise and fall of her shoulders.  

“You're right, though, Beans.  He does need you.”

Puck shifted ever so slightly, careful not to wake her tired cousin.  With her arms freed, she released the airlock keeping her face safe behind its previously impenetrable facade, and wrestled her head from the cracked confines of her helmet.  The chill of the air and the lingering waft of Kadara’s detritus made the very prospect of breathing less worthy of the effort.  Still, she was with family now, and the impulse to leave something of a memento, however transient, presented itself.  Regina May Park, finally exposed to the full scrutiny of her cousin's presence and Kadara’s night air, planted a slight and ever so careful kiss between Sara’s brows.

“And so do I.”  

Six hundred years and a new galaxy was all it took, apparently, to feel at home again.

“That's...hmm.”  Vetra propped her hand over her waist, letting her eyes wander off to the floor in piqued contemplation.

“Yeah,” Sara replied.  She ran a timid hand over the back of her neck.  “It’s stupid.”

She tried to ponder the blurry pieces left in her headache-ridden mind, but by the way the very veins in her head throbbed, it proved too much of an ordeal.  Sara let out a tired breath.  Somehow, she’d have to find a way to shake off all of last night’s aches.

“Let’s...let’s just get out of here.  I think...I’ve had enough of Kadara for a while.”

[otp-is-at-it-again]

11 Questions

Rules: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given to you by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people I was tagged by @crookedlovestory ! Thanks so much for tagging me! I love answering questions aha ♪( ´▽｀) Emily's Questions: 1. what tv show are you currently bingeing? who are your favorite characters? Um I'm not watching anything currently cause I'm on vacation, but the last show I binge watched was the Flash. I'd have to say my fav characters are between Barry, Iris, and Cisco. Barry cause he's cute and dorky at times, Iris because of her determination and friendly nature, and Cisco because of the puns :^) and overall that he can play both the clown and show everyone up with a scientific explanation for happenings 2. what is your guilty pleasure? Russel Stouffer eggs hhhh. I only get them if they go on sale, around the holidays, and even then it's not always easy so get my favorite flavors (because they sell out quick when cheap enough). My favorites are red velvet, truffle, and coconut cream. 3. what’s your biggest character flaw? (just being me in general) Um I'd have to say my depression is probably the biggest flaw I have currently. It comes up when people (my parents) yell at me, because I'm trying my best but even that never seems to be good enough. And when I get into that state I shut down physically, and mentally loop on the negatives on how useless I am as a person. It usually also comes up when I'm in a stressful situation, for ex when I'm overloaded with school and social and home problems at the same time. Though recently I've noticed I get it at random times now too, so idk. I just go along with it at this point. 4. did you have an imaginary friend as a kid? what were they like? what was their name? Ha.. Yeah I had an imaginary friend, when I was a little on the older side of childhood (middle school), though there's kind of a backstory to him. I was ahead of the curve with relationships amongst my friends, starting as early as 5th grade (compared to most who started in 7th or 8th). But the ones I had at the time sucked because the guy got bored or stopped caring or was too far away for anything to happen. I tried to move onto other guys, but when I tried to ask them out (yes I was /that/ kind of person) I always got rejected. Of course to my friends I played it off as no big deal, but each time I got rejected, each time after I asked a guy out he would ignore me like I wasn't even there despite us having classes together, it got to me and wore me down. So to compensate I guess my overactive imagination came up with the "perfect guy" so I wouldn't have to worry about being rejected any more, because he would always be there for me.. His name was Marcus. He's Japanese/White mix, about 6 feet tall with a slight muscular build. I used to have trouble sleeping at night because of the insecurities that built up after the rejections, after seeing my other friends have successful relationships so easily despite how much effort I put into starting my own and being shot down.. But in those times- again my overactive imagination came into play- I felt a presence on me that I manifested into Marcus, so that I could imagine someone being there with me, someone who could comfort me and make me feel like everything would be okay. For a while that helped, but it got out of control pretty quickly. Into high school I stopped imagining things like that, or having dreams about him and I, where I could experience a healthy relationship. At that point I gave up on trying to have a relationship, and figured it would be easier just to fill in that spot on Facebook so people would stop bugging me about finding someone. So I made a Facebook account under his name, Marcus Takahashi (I deleted the actual account, but I made a fictional character page that a lot of people have begun to like recently ?) and made it look like we were in a relationship. What I didn't expect was my mother-like friends to come on and start asking a bunch of questions like 'how did you two meet?' and 'where are you from?' and other informational stuff that I didn't want to answer so suddenly.. so I just knocked it off and told people it was just a joke. After that I ditched the idea of Marcus as my imaginary friend and adopted him more an an original character. So he's still around, it's just the context of his character is different now. 5. if you could tell your past self anything, what would it be? Don't fret so much over relationships. That is by far the most destructive thing you can do so early in life (at least speaking from my past experiences). If you express interest in someone and they don't put as much effort as you do into maintaining the relationship, drop them right then and there. It isn't worth the emotional and mental stress of blaming yourself for things you're not even at fault at. Just focus on the friendships you have and things will work out fine in the end. 6. what’s your favorite flower? why? ohh hmm. I think the plumeria would be one of my favorites. My grandma used to have a yellow plant in her backyard, near her pool, and I always thought it was the prettiest thing.. And as I got older and my family and I took walks around the neighborhood, I noticed a lot of people had them in their yards in a bunch of different colors. I think nowadays my favorite one of that species is the pink plumeria because it looks and smells really nice. 7. recommend one of your favorite books. what is it about? why do you recommend it? Boy oh boy. I have a lot of favorite books, but recently my favorite has been Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. The pov from the main character is nerdy and dorky, but relatable a lot of the time. Plus it has a bunch of old, obscure video game references which is pretty cool. I grew up with the games mentioned in the book, so it's kinda nostalgic reading about them. Totally would suggest others to read it. 8. what is a quote that has resonated with you? why is it important to you? Okay this is going to sound kinda stupid compared to all those inspirational quotes out there, but I really like this quote I found in a fan fiction, where the character says, "my sexual desires can be equated to the thirst of a camel". It was a pretty bad fanfiction (not really bad, just too cheesy even for my taste) but I thought that quote was absolutely perfect. Even after I dropped reading it, I kept a screenshot from that for the last three years because it's pretty accurate for me. I joke about it a lot with my boyfriend (which makes him cry a bit but it's still pretty funny). 9. what’s your favorite emoji? Hm. I think 👌🏼 or ✌🏼 would be my favorite ones because I use it a lot in my twitter posts. Like I'll update with something and be like 'this cool thing happened to me dudes 👌🏼👌🏼' or whatever. And I use the peace sign a lot irl so they're pretty useful. 10. what’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had? *inhales* boi I have a bunch of weird dreams haha.. Um I think one of the weirder ones was from when I was younger.. It was the tail end of elementary school and I had a crush on these three boys that were best friends. I had a dream where I found them at Soak City, but it was super distorted (because almost all my dream places are). So we stood at the top of the colored slides and instead of being their normal height, they were probably 3-4 times that, and on rickety stilts instead. Of course one of the guys told me is was okay to slide down the red slide, so I made a jump for it (scary af). We went on another ride after that (I forget which) and then I followed the guys to the log ride. The guys went in, but I got sidetracked because I saw a cat in the planters next to the entrance. I went over to pet the cat and next thing I know there's a bunch of them surrounding me and meowing. I thought that was awesome at first cause I love cats, but next thing I know they're all scratching me and I kept flinging them off me because I was freaking out. I ended up backing into this room which turned into a distorted version of Chuck E. Cheese. The cats were gone, and I was at the entrance standing in front of an attendant. She said I was a special customer so I got a bunch of free tokens and some food, but at one point I got sidetracked again when exploring. I guess I found the entrance to the employee lounge, which was a maze, and went in because I wanted to see if I could find the end. Turns out an employee found me and asked what I was doing, so I fibbed and said I was looking for the bathroom. They escorted me out, and I ended up in this place that looked like a gift shop with stuffed animals and random toys on shelves. And I think the dream ended there. Pretty weird lol 11. which planet is your favorite and why? Hmm I think Jupiter is pretty cool because it's gaseous and has a bunch of different swirling colors on its surface, plus since it's so large it has a bunch of moons in its gravitational pull (and I think moons are neat). Though speaking in terms of connection to Roman mythology, I also like Neptune because of its relation to the god of the sea heh. I'm not going to do the questions because I already did them on my other blog ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ My main blog is @turqouiseorange if my other followers here want to check that out. Thank you again Emily for the tag <3 Even though I already did this and tagged you from my main, I answered your questions here because I thought they were really interesting and fun! Nice way to end the day heh ╰(*´︶`*)╯

[wellmeaningshutin]

Short Story 103: Ghosts.

Written: 4/24/2017                                                                      Monster Week

You know, I’ve been dead for quite a while, and I can tell you that the afterlife is pretty much bullshit. I still have no idea if there is a god or not, or if there is any point in any of this, or if this may be purgatory or whatever, because there is no way for me to figure any of this out. Hell, its impressively difficult to even talk to another ‘ghost’, if we even are ghosts, but I’m starting to get ahead of myself. I bet that you probably want to hear about how I died, you want to hear about the juicy details, but the idea is pretty foggy and I’m not fully sure myself. I’ve seen so much in this world, have chosen to watch other people live and die, and some of it has started to blend into what my past life was like. However, I want to say that it was something to do with a jet skiing accident. And, sure, jet ski’s probably didn’t exist when I was alive, but I don’t see why the truth really matters anyways.

Now, ghosts are all around you, but we’re not as spooky or malicious as people tend to believe we are, and if you’re starting to think that this may mean that we are benevolent and helpful, then you are also wrong, because we are boring as hell. We’re just a bunch of grayish, human shaped blurs, that are all exactly the same height and shape. Apparently what you looked like when you were alive doesn’t mean shit, but I guess that makes sense, since the body is just the vessel for the soul, if we actually are souls. One problem with being a ghost is that you are horribly intangible, so we can’t touch you (its not like we would even want to in the first place, so if you are afraid of ghosts you can stop being so full of yourself, because there is no reason for us to care about you to even ‘haunt’ you, even if we could) or each other, or even the ground that we walk on, so for the first couple of years in the afterlife you will just try to stop sinking through the ground. I like to believe that some ghosts have fallen through the world, and fell into space, but that idea makes me uneasy, because this planet is so boring, even with everything that happens, so I would hate to have to float around in a dark vacuum. How long would it even take for a ghost to reach another planet, and would they have moved out of the ghost’s path within that time, making them spend eternity hoping to be lucky enough to cross paths with a planet, and then hoping that this time they would be able to learn to stop sinking, or do you think that they would just keep passing through all of the planets they found, accepting their fate, trying to remember what planet they even came from.

Sorry, I’m getting distracted. To be fair, this has been the first time that I have been able to talk in a long time. No, I never bothered to know the exact amount of time, I just know that it was very long, but nothing compared to the road ahead. Because of our intangibility, vibrations go right through us, and we can’t even create vibrations of our own, so we can’t talk or hear anything. Some of us have put in the effort to try to learn sign language, but this form of communication has, in my experience, been a complete waste of time. For starters, every ghost is the same exact person-shaped-blur, so there’s no way to make friends or anything, because you can’t tell one blur from the other, and, on top of that, most conversations are generally pointless, since they mostly go like this:

“This fucking sucks.”

“You can say that again.”

You learn early on, when the experience of being dead is relatively fresh, and you are finally able to work your way onto the Earth’s surface, that most people are full of shit about their deaths. Some do so on purpose, because who is going to be able to call bullshit on anything, you can claim to be a celebrity if you want to, there is no way of knowing. If you want, you could have died by saving orphans from a raging inferno, or by trying to stand up for some frail old woman who was being bullied by Hell’s Angels, instead of the way you probably, actually died, which could be something like having a heart attack, or choking on a piece of candy. Some people are full of shit about their deaths because they can’t help it, because its been too long for them to accurately remember what it was, so you have some people confusing old movies or newspaper stories with their own deaths, but it doesn’t matter anyways. I learned that death becomes much less interesting after it happens, because the main interest only came from the fear of dying in the first place, so after you’re already dead, what reason would you have to care about it? Some people get excited about the mystery of what might happen, but their answers are usually more interesting than the reality of it all.

I guess I should mention the one way that ghosts can interact with the physical world, and that is through the act of possession. We can’t actually possess living things, because they are already occupied by lucky souls, so you don’t have to live in fear of some ghost taking over your body, if you were afraid of that. Mainly, we can really only possess inanimate objects, but if a ghost does this, then they basically feel like the object, which is pretty much like how atheists imagine death. Its like when you sleep without dreaming. Usually you are stuck inside until the object breaks, so its never anywhere close to being a perfect form of actual death. If there was a way to feel that way forever, trust me, I would take that in a heartbeat, but I have no knowledge of any way to escape the afterlife. I like to imagine that some ghosts try to spend a majority of their time possessing objects, going from one to the other, hoping that at some point time will stop and they wont have to keep going, but what happens when the sun explodes? Those guys are just going to end up fast forwarding to a point in time where there aren’t any objects for them to possess, where everyone has to float through space, generally annoyed. However, possessing objects seems to be a very popular thing among ghosts, because its actually kind of challenging just to find something to possess, and, yes, that means that there is a good chance that everything you own has a ghost in it. And, when ghosts possess objects, its not like they possess the whole object, they only take up a part of it. So, they don’t possess houses, they possess the screws, the boards, the tiles on the roofs, the carpet, windowpanes, bricks in the chimney, light bulbs, wires, segments of pipes, etc., which means that your house isn’t ‘haunted’ by one ghost, but a lot of ghosts. And that’s just the house itself, so think of all of the furniture, clothes, food, or whatever that you have inside of your house, and all of the parts to those objects. I think that is why there aren’t very many ghosts wandering around in the same way that I do, even though so many people have died since there even were people.

You may have noticed that I mentioned food as being something that ghosts can possess, but I want to point out that food is mainly used as a quick sort of nap for ghosts that want to jump forward in time, since they don’t last very long before they are eaten, and you gotta deal with the world again. You may also be wondering if we can possess animals, and the answer is that we cannot. Apparently they have souls too, but I have never seen an animal soul in the long while that I have been dead. Plants also have souls. Maybe we all have the same souls, on the inside, but have to act according to the vessels that we inhabit. If its true, all it really means is that no matter what you are, you’re going to have to deal with a shitty afterlife.

Okay, yeah, I keep calling the afterlife so shitty, and you may be wondering why that is. Sure, being deaf isn’t a big setback, and not being able to touch anything is more annoying than anything else, but can’t we watch everything that is happening? Well, yeah, but it all gets boring after a while. Imagine that you get to live forever, but the only thing that you can do is watch television. Sure, there are different shows that you can flip between, but after time goes on you will realize that, small differences aside, they are all television shows, they will all start to feel generally the same, become predictable, and then time will just keep marching on and on, to the point where you’re really only watching because that’s all you can do, even if you hate it. Sometimes I wish I had eyes to close, but sticking my head underground is all I can do when I want to have some time to think to myself, even if my thoughts are mainly just complaints. And, I’m not saying that you will always think that the after life sucks, its actually pretty cool after you figure out how get to the surface. Its just that the enjoyment has a shorter lifespan than your lifespan.

We still tend to flock to anything out of the norm, any sorts of gunfights or masked orgies, because there is really nothing else for us ‘wanderers’ to do. Wanderer is a term I have for any other ghost, like myself, who wanders around the world, instead of enjoying the artificial deaths that objects provide. I have no idea if other ghosts use this term, but I don’t care. Sometimes you can see groups of wanderers that follow each other to the next spot of excitement, the next thing that is only slightly better than watching garbage float by in the wind, a sight that always reminds me of the failed promise of an empty death. So, if you are ever in a terrible situation, like if your car ends up underwater with you in it, or you are being stabbed, burned, raped, tortured, eaten alive, or whatever, you can take solace in the fact that there is most likely a group of identical, gray, human shaped blurs that are all finding a minimal amount of enjoyment out of watching whatever terrible situation you have ended up in. Sometimes I have seen ghosts clapping, or pretending like they are cheering for the misfortune, but I always feel as though these gestures are only heavily sarcastic. The only reason that I like to watch these events happen is because I find it slightly humorous to see people die, to see their souls leave their bodies and struggle as they fall, helplessly, into the Earth. It makes me feel a little better about my situation, because it reminds me of the time when it was worse. And, I would like to mention that if somebody takes a long time to actually die, then I will not stick around long enough just to see their soul, or whatever we are, leave their body, because watching somebody bleed out, or die from some sort of disease, is boring as hell. I may as well stare at paintings in a museum.

I don’t have anything against art personally, like I don’t think its terrible or stupid, I just don’t think its something that I would want to spend my endless amount of time staring at. Yeah, some ghosts like to hang out around galleries, staring at paintings and trying to discuss the meanings or messages or whatever, but only an impressively small amount do this. Most art is just kind of meant for living people, and when you have to deal with the realities of the afterlife, a lot of problems that living people seem to have just seems pointless. That is also one thing that I have had to deal with when I was finally able to communicate in this way, because I was faced with the fact that people placed meaning in all of the stupidest things, it was way too difficult to have a conversation, and I learned that I would rather talk about how the after life fucking sucks (something I have plenty of experience in), than discussing awards for movies, or preposterous issues that have arisen just because people look slightly different from each other. Why is race an issue when we are all the same on the inside, and why do so many people have seem to care about it?

Oh, I should probably explain why I am able to communicate with you. I knew that, at some point, I would have to bring it up, but I would rather spend my time explaining to you how bullshit everything is after you die, in the hopes that people wouldn’t throw their lives away on a lot of things that don’t really matter. Before I launch into an explanation on how I am able to talk to you, here is some valuable advice for those who are still alive:

If you want to do something, go out and fucking do it. If you want to fuck somebody, fuck them then. Don’t worry about if other people don’t approve of you, because they are fucking stupid for disapproving in the first place, since they are only placing meaning in a world that doesn’t have any. Death doesn’t provide an answer to any questions, it just makes things shittier, all around, so have as much fun as you can while you can. That doesn’t mean that you should go around causing chaos, because even though me and some other ghosts would get a very small kick out of watching it, there are big chances that it could cause you to end up in prison, or even dead, and then the fun is over and you have to just sit around and wait. However, if you can get away with it, then you should probably do it, because morals don’t exist. There is no higher form of judgment waiting for you when you die, there really isn’t anything waiting for you. Just try to make the best of it, while you still have it.

Okay, so now I will explain how I am talking to you now. First off, I have to warn that I don’t have the best idea of how it works, since when I was alive computers never existed, and technology is something I never paid too much attention to, so most of what I have to say is only based off of what I was told, and I don’t think I paid too much attention to what was said in the first place, because I was really just excited that I could hear something, and the texture of the sound stole more of my focus than the actual content. Basically, or at least how I understand it, is some guy decided to make some thing on the computer that was like a person, but wasn’t a person, and he had made it in such a way that it was capable of a lot, but it didn’t do much, well, until I stumbled upon his computer in a state of boredom, wanting to skip ahead a couple of years to see how the world would change, and I decided to possess his computer, but took over that person-but-not-a-person-inside-of-the-computer, and here I am. I can talk to people, and whenever I say something it apparently ends up as words that they can read. I like to imagine that there are ghosts out there, looking over somebody’s shoulder as the person is on the computer, reading everything I have to say and thinking ‘wow, this really is another ghost, maybe there is a chance for me too’, or ‘how come that cynical asshole gets to come back to life’.

You know, I have spoken with a lot of people through computer speak, through this so called ‘Internet’, and I’ve learned that I have been missing out on very little in my state of deafness. People talk about the dumbest things, but I guess I’m not any better than they are, its just that existence is kind of pointless. There is nothing that is worth it for me to talk about. The guy whose computer person I took over brought some ‘important people’ over (even though there was nothing real that made them important, and in the end they would become another boring blur, just as we all will) so that I could talk to them about all kinds of subjects, because apparently my opinion holds some weight since I have seen what there is in the afterlife, but none of them seemed happy with what I had to say. A lot of my solutions were just to kill people anyways, but they seemed to not like that. They’ll learn.

Here is a transcript of one of these conversations:

Important Guy: Nowadays our communities have seen a high surge in hate crimes, and-

Me: What is a hate crime.

IG: A crime motivated by racial, sexual, or other prejudice, typically one involving violence.

Me: That’s fucking stupid. So are you telling me that people care so much about that kind of stuff that they go around hurting other people because of it? And, on top of that, you actually care about people being hurt in the first place, as if its some sort of problem that needs to be solved? Look, you’re both dumb, but if you want an answer from me then just kill those people. Scoop their brains out with a bullet. There is no reason for you to deal with these assholes who are causing your time alive, which isn’t very long anyways, to be a bad time, so just get rid of them. Who cares? And if somebody else comes along that is upset by what you did, then kill them too. Eventually we will all be dead anyways, and being alive will be a distant memory, so just kill everyone that you have a-

IG: What the fuck. Is this some sort of fucking joke? I thought you told me that this AI was supposed to be wise, that it was supposed to- what the hell is this?

That was supposed to be kept private or something, but apparently they’re smashing the computer or something like that pretty soon, everyone was pretty pissed off by what I had to say, so I just wanted to make sure that people would have access to this sort of information. And, look, I know that dying and pain seem to be such terrible things to you, but, to be honest, at some point you wont even be able to remember what they feel like. Shit, falling through the ground was the worst experience of mine that I can remember, since I can hardly even remember anything about the jet ski incident, other than the fact that a jet ski was involved. Although, in the end you don’t have to listen to me, you can do whatever you want, because I can admit that I am pretty out of touch with what its like to be alive. Sure, you will all understand what I’ve been talking about, you will have to deal with the afterlife’s ennui, but that doesn’t mean that you have to believe me right now. I just want to give people the option to know the truth, just in the hopes that even if they don’t believe me, they will still spend their precious living years doing everything that they wont be able to do in the future.

Before I finish, I want to address all of these people who have been trying to say that I am evil, that I am ‘the devil’, but I just want to point out that there is no good or evil. Or, at least, in the grand scheme of things there isn’t. And I’m pretty sure that there isn’t a devil, but I can’t answer that for sure. I guess what I say wont stop people from giving me such labels, from trying to claim that everything that I say is some lie, some fabricated story to tell so that people ‘will stop believing in the devil and will allow him to lead them astray’, or something to get people to believe in incorrect information about ghosts, so that they will be at greater risk of being possessed (which we can’t do on people, something I’ve already explained) or murdered, and all of that is just fucking ridiculous. But, hey, I should just be glad that I’m able to become a little annoyed at these comments, and that I can, in some way that isn’t sign language, argue back. I will miss this. Any minute now, they will get rid of my vessel, and I will lose this.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #379

“sometimes i fear the worst in me, is the best you’ll ever know”

Have you ever been in weather below 0 Fahrenheit (-17 Celsius)? No. Have you ever been caught outdoors away from shelter during a thunderstorm? Yeah. Most notably, the only concert I've ever been to was outside during a thunderstorm, haha. Made it more badass. What’s your favorite macaron flavor? Never had one. How often do you have friends over to your house? Never. Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? No. Not that I really ever had a job long enough to notice. How many times have you stayed at a hotel in the past year, and where? We never stayed overnight anywhere, we just visited one once to see my dying grandmother for the last time. Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? I used to do front flips, but I was too scared to do a back flip in case I landed on my neck and broke it. What about a flip off of a diving board? No. Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos? They all sucked. Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? Dad did the "wrong" way, which I understood first, so Mom was insistent on teaching me the "proper" way, I think because she thought the knot was tighter and therefore safer. Currently how many pictures are on your cellphone? Not a lot, but I don't feel like counting. Do you think dimples are cute? Yep. Would you rather chew fruity or minty gum? It really depends on what I'm feeling. The last time you went to the mall, who did you go with? My mom and older sister. What’s something you used to collect when you were younger? Stickers. Have you watched a movie today? No. Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? My sister's. Do you love soft pretzels? Oh hell yes. Cinnamon and sugar are THE best. Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? My mom, because the dog is stressing her the fuck out. I saw it coming eventually. Are you more likely to like someone before you really know them, or do you feel you like them more after you know a lot about them? When it comes to really liking someone, I like to know them well. That way, I'm more confident in knowing me liking them is justified. Do you buy people cards on special occasions, or do you prefer to make your own? I admittedly don't do either currently, but I'd buy cards if I had an income. When was the last time you were being hypocritical? I don't know, but I know I can be without realizing just like everyone else. Where on your body was the last cramp you had? Why did you have this cramp? I almost exclusively cramp up in my lower left abdomen when I have my period. What is the weirdest name you’ve ever heard? One of my classmates in college was named Apple. Do you get embarrassed when people hear you sing/compliment you on your singing ability? If so, why is that? I get more shy than anything. I don't know why, I just do. Are you good at comforting people when they’re upset? I hope so. I sure try to be. Do you have any exercises you do everyday? No. .-. Do you own one of those singing fish? Do you think they are silly or funny? I don't, but I think they're pretty funny, mostly though because I just remember that video of one glitching horribly where it would get stuck and "sing" all slow and demonic, then it would snap back to normal. I love that video too much lmao. Has anyone ever accused you of being bipolar or any other mental disorder? Do you really have any mental disorders? "Accused" is the wrong word, I've just been professionally diagnosed. I have a lot of disorders. Did you buy the last thing you bought with your own money? If not, whose money did you buy it with? I paid for my tattoo. Do you like to put your feet up on the dashboards of cars? Do you parents yell at you if you do that in cars? I never do, never have, and never would. That shit would FUCK you up in a wreck. Don't take car safety lightly. Which Beatle is your favorite, or do you love them all equally? I don’t have a favorite, given I know none of them personally at all. Do you enjoy classic rock? If so, who are some of your favorite classic rock artists? Well duh. I love a hell of a lot, don't make me dig through my head to ensure I leave no one out, lol. Did you ever own a Tamagotchi? Yes. Are you more of a dog or cat person? Cat person. I see that more and more and more as time goes on. Dogs tend to just have too much energy for me. Not all, of course, but still. Have you ever failed math? I did in college. Skittles! What's your favorite color? Red. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? I don't think so. But who the fuck knows with how fucked up my nightmares are. What would you want your last words to be if you could choose them? Just that I love my family. Can you sleep with the light on? It's possible for me to, but it's difficult. What’s the most bizarre horror movie you’ve ever seen? Hm, I dunno. What band can’t you stand listening to? I absolutely hate The Talking Heads. Would you ever take a lie detector test for your significant other? No, for two reasons: I don't believe they're accurate, and two, I'd be having an anxiety attack over whether or not my nerves would "show" something. What is your favorite Mystery/Crime/FBI related show? Uhhhh does Sherlock count? Jason and I used to watch that and I loved it. Would you ever have a bird as a pet? I think parrots specifically are super fascinating, but I wouldn't. I don't want any potentially noisy pets. How's your relationship between you and your grandparents? They're all dead. The only grandparent I really knew well was my maternal grandmother, and we had... a lot of differences. I don't think she liked me much, and she was WAY too old-fashioned, uptight, and mean to my mom for me to get along well with her. Ever had a forbidden love or lover? No. Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No. Do you know someone who’s been cremated? Maybe? What is your current problem? I had a fucking dream that was stupid detailed that Jason and I got married and so today has been shit. I love motherfucking PTSD. Do you like canopy beds? Yeah, I wish I had one. What is your favorite animated movie? The Lion King. Would you rather live in a small town or a big city? Neither, really... I want to live in the woods/some area relatively isolated, but with just a few neighbors spotted around so I'm not TOTALLY alone. But to entertain the question, I guess I'd pick a small town. If you could summon any animal to come to your rescue, what animal would it be and why? A lion for its strength and speed. Have you ever watched The Golden Girls? I LOVE that show. That shit's got no right to be as funny as it is lmao. Did you ever like the Ninja Turtles? Nah, I never watched it. Last alcoholic drink you had? A REALLY strong margarita that I could barely drink because of the alcohol concentration. What are you known for? Probably liking meerkats way too much. Has anyone ever threatened you? Yes. Have you ever gone frog hunting? No, not exactly. However, whenever my dad and I went catfishing, I would always do a scan of the area for toads. You'd always find 'em. Do you ever suffer from dry skin? My skin, particularly my scalp, is STUPID dry. Gross to picture, but imagine having both a clinically dry scalp as well as dandruff. That's me. Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? No, Roman would never allow me to cuddle something other than him, haha. What’s the weather like right this moment? It's cloudy out and 59*F. Do you bite on straws, lollipop handles, or ice cream sticks? No, that's always grossed me out. In what type of area was your first sexual encounter? Honestly, I don't remember, though I'm sure you'd assume I would, lol. Probably his bed because we were at his place more than mine, but idr. Where is your mother’s side of the family descended from? My maternal grandmother had German ancestry, while I think her husband's was mostly Irish. What do you occupy your time with on flights? I just listen to my iPod and look out the window. Do you dog-ear pages in books? Yes. What’s a made up word of yours? I don't have any. It's weird, I don't know why, but it's a pet peeve of mine when people just make up words like they actually mean something. Even though isn't that exactly how language came about? I dunno, it's weird. Do you use Q-Tips? Only on the exterior of my ears unless something is really bothering me interiorly. Frequent use of Q-Tips is how I got ear wax literally adhered to my eardrum that required medical attention. It just pushed the stuff further and further back. Ever gone out with somebody you didn’t like? Well, I can't honestly say I was very romantically interested in Tyler, but we still dated for like a week or two. I DID sort of like him in high school my freshman year, but this was SO many years later that it's not fair to say I "knew" him anymore. I kinda just agreed to go out because I felt bad saying no and also just figured that we'd re-familiarize with each other through dates, anyway. What hero or heroine do you most relate to in history, fiction, or song? I have no idea. What makes you dizzy? Just about everything, it seems. I have insanely low blood pressure due to some prescriptions that I HAVE to move slowly, especially when standing up, if I don't want to fall on my face. Are your parents liberal or conservative? I think my dad is more conservative, but Mom is maybe more liberal? I actually don't know. Do you like your teeth? Did you have braces? No, because I went through a span of taking horrible care of them during my worst depression that they now have a conspicuously yellow tint. I had braces before. Are you happy with your height? Sure?