#i was worried i forgot how long i've been on t lol

[uncanny-tranny]

For TST, it's still Thursday now for me at least: I've been on T for 6 years + now, and I've noticed in the past few months that I'm finally in a place with my body (and my mind) where I don't worry that other people can "tell" just by looking at me. And it's so nice to just exist without worrying about whether they "can tell" or not.

Holy shit, six years sounds so long... do you know how much I look forward to being where you are? I know people longer in transition aren't inherently inspiring nor should they be expected to be so, but I still find it really heartwarming and hopeful.

[shittyassffblog]

Free bird - Part 3

I can’t, y’all are SO NICE I love you 😭 idk how many parts this is gonna be, but I’m gonna keep writing till I don’t got no more to write about lol, if you want to request something def just do so! Or if you just wanna ask me something, I would absolutely love that!

Part 1 and 2

P.S. You're definitely supposed to sing Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd as you read the title. It's what I do.

@blackveilomens

Warnings: oral (f receiving), not much else as far as I know.

As you were driving over to Noah’s house you talked easily about random things you’d usually talk about. Right now no one would suspect that Noah had just been all up in your guts less than 20 minutes ago, it also seemed like both you and Noah had forgot.

Soon you were at his house and you both stepped out of the car and walked to the front door. Noah unlocked the door and went inside, holding the door open for you. He yelled out to his roommates that he was home.

"Finally, did Y/N's date go so bad you had to stay there?" Jolly yelled back and you could see a tinge of red across his cheekbones. You giggled at that as you walked into the kitchen where you found Jolly.

"Something like that." Said Noah who walked quickly into his bedroom.

"Hey friend, how are you?" Jolly asked as he hugged you.

"Oh you know, pretty good." You said as you smiled back at him.

"Did Noah make you feel better about your date?" He asked and you nodded.

"Mhm, much better." You said and he smiled at you as he sat down beside you. You and Jolly talked as you waited for Noah to be ready.

"Alright I'm ready!" Noah exclaimed as he came out of his room in fresh clothes.

"Did you just change into a different white t-shirt and different pair of black shorts?" You asked and he looked at you with big eyes.

"The socks are a different colour." He said sheepishly and you and Jolly burst out laughing. He walked over to you and you hugged him, still chuckling.

"C'mon, let's get going. Gonna need that ice cream you promised." You said and he nodded. You both said bye to Jolly as you went out the door and this time Noah was driving.

When you got to the mall you immediately went to get an ice cream each, sitting by the water fountain and talking. Noah was explaining the details of their next tour and you were listening intently, your heart sinking a little at the thought of him leaving again. You always felt sad when he left, he's your best friend and sometimes you need him to figure out your problems. But this time it felt different, like it hurt more. You thought it was probably because you now were single so you wanted to keep him close, in case something happened.

"But I'm honestly really excited about the Bring Me tour in the UK, it's gonna be awesome." He said finally and you smiled at him.

"Yeah I mean doing a tour with the biggest metal core band ever is probably the coolest thing I've heard in a while." You said and you both smiled.

"Hi I am so sorry to interrupt but I am such a big fan and I was wondering if I could get a picture?" A girl said as she came up to you. She was obviously a big fan of Noah's so you moved to the side to let her take the picture.

"Yeah of course, don't worry about it!" Noah said as he posed for her selfie.

"Okay thank you so much, bye!" She said as she ran over to her friends and they giggled.

"I'll never get used to that." Noah said and you chuckled.

"Well you better, it's gonna happen a lot more, I just know it." You said and a quiet moment fell between you as you looked at each other. You finished your ice creams and started walking around the mall.

After an hour Noah had to go to the bathroom so you waited out front with the bags of stuff you had bought and was looking at your phone. Before long, someone started talking to you.

"Well if it isn't miss homie hopper herself?" An awfully familiar voice sounded beside you and you moved away. It was Chase.

"What do you want? Leave me alone." You said, looking back at your phone.

"What? I can't have a go? Seems everyone else is, even that sorry excuse of a man you call your best friend." Chase seethed. You could feel the anger boiling inside you.

"You didn't seem to think that about him when he had you pinned to the ground." You rebutted and you heard a grumbling coming from him.

"You know, even Steven had a turn didn't he? Yeah he told me, how you were just begging to fuck him right?" Chase said and before you could retort, Noah was stood behind him. You turned to Chase, anger heating you up inside.

"No, Chase, you don't get to talk about me like this. I didn't fuck Steven because he was a dick, but even if I did that's no business of yours. My sex life has nothing to do with you and quite frankly you're not worth my time. Please leave me alone, Chase. I mean it." You finished, not looking away from him for once second. He seemed a little taken aback, but his gross smirk returned fast.

"So you did fuck someone?" Chase asked and before you could react, Noah stepped in.

"She quite clearly set her boundaries with you. And I thought I told you to leave her alone?" Noah said, gripping Chase's shoulder and ripping him around.

"I- uhm i- I don't-" Chase muttered and Noah smiled.

"I don't really care what you have to say. Just go." Noah said and he scurried away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want step on what you just said, which was very brave and cool by the way, but it seems violence is the only language he understands." Noah said and you smiled.

"I know, I don't blame you. I blame society." You said and Noah grabbed the bags from you to carry them.

"Let's build a commune in some far-away country and exit society together. But first, Starbucks." Noah said and nodded his head towards the cafe in front of you. You thought about living with Noah suddenly. It was a nice thought. But coffee was nicer.

After a coffee you went back to the car to drove over to Target where you spent at least an hour and a half. When you walked out you had a bag full of nice smelling candles and some fall decorations. You got back in the car and you just sat there for a bit.

"I don't wanna stop hanging out." Noah said suddenly. You looked back at him, then smiled.

"Me neither. You wanna go get take out and watch a movie?" You asked and he smiled widely at the suggestion.

"Yeah I want that a lot. Should we go to my place today?" Noah asked and you nodded. Noah started driving and you decided to get Taco Bell. You held the food as you drove back to Noah's.

Once you arrived you hurried inside as it had started raining. You took off your shoes and left them by the door and went into the kitchen to get paper towels, forks and plates. You then went to go to Noah's room when you almost bumped into Jolly.

"Oh you're back. Didn't know you were coming here." He said and you smiled.

"Yeah sorry, it was kind of impulsive." You said and he smiled.

"No problem at all, we love having you here." He said and let you pass. You opened the door to Noah's room and saw he had added a lot more light strips around his bed.

"You're really going for that gamer aesthetic huh?" You mused and he feigned offence.

"I'll have you know..." He trailed off, pretending to find the right words. "Okay yeah I have no rebuttal for that." He said you both laughed. You got situated on his bed and pulled up HBO so you could watch The Last Of Us. You had bonded over the game when you were younger and promised each other you wouldn't watch the show without each other. And with him being on tour a lot you waited patiently for times like these where you could binge a whole show in a day, or more accurately in this case, night.

With the plates and take out bags long forgotten on the floor, you found yourself cuddled up to Noah. It was so nice you started to drift off and the last thing you remembered was Noah squeezing you a little tighter.

----

When you regained consciousness the next day it was to the feeling of Noah's hands on your hips and his lips on your stomach. You blinked open your eyes and looked down to the best view you could've hoped for. Noah was kissing along the edge of your panties. He felt your body move so he looked up at you. He smiled, tugging slightly at your panties as if to ask for permission. You granted it by nodded with a smile, and he pulled them completely off, replacing the heat of the cloth with the heat of his lips kissing every part of your pussy.

He moved his hands to your thighs and pushed your legs apart. He hummed an approving sound at the sight of you and dove right into your pussy. He was a man on a mission and he wasn't waiting around for anything. You moaned at the feeling of his tongue on your cunt, his thumbs separating your lips so he could fuck you with his tongue.

"Oh Noah." You moaned and he paused what he was doing.

"Shh baby, don't want anyone to hear. Gotta be quiet." He said as he licked a stripe from your hole to your clit, sucking on it lightly.

You grabbed his pillow and brought it up to your face to cover any sounds coming from your mouth. his middle finger gingerly entered you and immediately searched for your spot of pleasure, finding it no problem. You buried your face in the pillow, the pleasure being almost too much. You squirmed around uncontrollably, so Noah used one arm to hold down your hips as he continued to fuck you with his finger and stimulate your clit with his lips.

You could feel you orgasm approaching so you wrapped your legs around his chest and squeezed as your orgasm reached its peak, throwing the pillow away so you could breathe and opening your mouth as if to scream but no sound came out.

You grabbed Noah's hair, tugging and pulling partly because the waves of pleasure washed over you, partly to keep Noah's head exactly where it was. the suction his lips had on your clit was unrelenting and his finger, no doubt cramping by now, didn't still for a second as he made sure you rode out the entirety of your orgasm. When you relaxed your legs and your grip on his hair, he removed his lips from your heat, pulling out his finger carefully. He licked them clean, making sure to not waste a single drop of your release. As you came down he came back up and kissed your lips, making you taste yourself.

"G'mornin'" He said as his head fell back onto his pillow. You chuckled as you rested your head on his chest, hearing his quickened heartbeat.

"Morning." You said. "What about you?" You asked and he shook his head.

"You don't gotta pay it back every time y'know." He said as he looked down at you. You smiled as you cuddled closer to him. You laid there for a few minutes calming down.

"Can I ask you something?" Noah asked after a while. You hummed as if saying yes and a few second went by before he responded.

"Can we ever go back to normal again?" His tone was very neutral, so it was hard for you to know exactly what he meant.

"Do you want to?" You asked nervously. You hadn't wanted to admit it to yourself that you quite enjoyed what you and Noah had right now, going back to normal seemed almost impossible.

"Not particularly. But I don't really want to go to bed with other people while I also do it with you. Seems careless." He said and you didn't answer. You heart kind of sank at his words, the thought of him being with other people crushing you inside.

"Me neither." You settled for. Tears were stinging your eyes and you wondered how you got here. Was it all really worth it? Fucking your best friend just to go back to normal and then he finds someone new while you nurse your broken heart? And was that broken heart even over Chase anymore? Or was it Noah instead?

[biscuits-of-bagend]

DnDoc, Space Band #8 - Rogue the Rockstar

Part 1 Part 7

Previous story: DnDoc, Coming Home

Almost forgot to post this because I was watching like five different tennis matches lol. Go Alfie! Go Carlos!

---

The ball. The last person who'd made him perform in some way was the Doctor at the Chuldurs' ball. The whole point had been to attract attention, and Rogue had been a bit preoccupied to worry about it, but there had been a lot of eyes on him as he tried to perform a dance he barely knew. But the audience had utterly melted away. There was only darkness around them as the Doctor followed the dance and Rogue followed the Doctor. How could there have been anything else when they were the only two people in the universe? It was an utterly transcendent experience.

   Surely he could do it again. Yes, he wasn't trying to capture murderous space aliens, so he was a little out of his comfort zone, but the crowd wasn't going to go too hard on him if it was him or nothing. Besides, the greatest band in the universe needed his help. He glanced down at the notebook by George's feet to see what the next song was.

   "Yeah, I know that one," he said.

   "Okay, great," said George. Rogue hadn't realised how nervous George was until he saw the tension now flood out of him.

   "I've got this, I promise," said Rogue.

   A smile grew on George's face, slowly spreading into a grin. "Hell yeah."

   As the song started up, Rogue focused his whole attention on the Doctor. A little on Ruby so as not to be rude, but, for the most part, he held the Doctor's gaze like he was clinging to a rope alongside a wobbly wooden bridge. He imagined that if someone were to cast true sight, or see invisibility or some such, they'd be able to see a sparkling blue and pink bolt of electricity connecting their eyes. It was just like how he'd pictured the sonic connecting their two spaceships.

      Rogue's favourite thing about live music was the feeling of the soundwaves shaking your bones. It was similar, actually, to that feeling of being connected by electricity to the Doctor. Maybe if you could have seen the soundwaves with your eyes, it would look like thousands of forks of lightning flying out from the amplifiers and each fork hooking into one of the audience members. It turned out that when you could actually feel the origins of the sounds just beneath your fingers it was like you were right at the centre of the storm. The crowd screamed, cheered and clapped just as Rogue had done moments ago.

   At one point he caught sight of his rockstar visage on one of the screens set up for people further back in the crowd. His make-up, the battered old t-shirt, his swooping hair, his wristbands. For a moment he felt like he was looking at some sort of broken mirror, like the person looking back at him was someone else entirely. No wonder the crowd were happy - as far as they knew a spare rockstar had appeared. Suddenly their smiles no longer felt like they were going to propel him into space - they weren't even really for him.

   But then he looked to his left at George, who always wore his spacesuit costume on stage. The Earthlings all did. And they had been giving their whole selves to the world since they were kids. Maybe, as long as whatever you did came from the centre of yourself, it didn't matter who people thought they were getting. The Doctor had met a brooding, nineteenth-century nobleman after all, and he still seemed able to see surprisingly far into the depths of Rogue's soul.

   During one of the slow songs, the Doctor held up the sonic screwdriver with the cloud inside it, letting it bask in the swirling energy. Rogue took a moment to look around at the smiles below. Some people cupped their hands around their mouths to sing and cheer, others hugged each other, or danced. There was so much movement, so many bright eyes, so much energy flying out of the speakers - so much life! And here he was, part of it! Whether he recognised himself or not it was him up here doing this.

   Rogue did a high kick with his left leg and whooped into the night air. He remembered lying tired and stiff on the futon, looking forward to running around with the Doctor and Ruby and having adventures. Maybe there hadn't been any octopi this time but, in a small sense, he had saved the day, like a proper member of the team. He watched the Doctor and Ruby absolutely rocking out together as they started playing a faster song again. He smiled, shaking his head, riding the high of the moment like a living C-chord.

   As they played the final song, 'Space Band,' Rogue felt his spirit drifting back down to the ground. It was a soft, slow descent though, nice and easy. Rogue looked down at the Doctor, relaxing into his gaze, letting the song wash over him.

We are the Space Band,

Rocking through the stars,

Lightyears across the universe,

A million miles from Mars

We are the Space Band,

Touring the unknown.

We don't need a star map,

'Cause the music guides us home!

⭐⭐⭐

The band were very happy to let Rogue bring both Ruby and the Doctor through to the after-party, where Neila sat on a couch wrapped up in a blanket with a nice cup of tea. The others played a game of ping-pong to get the energy out of their systems, and had glasses of SECC signature cocktails. They swapped contact details with the band, ones that would function intergalactically, and the band also made Rogue promise to keep playing his music.

   When it was finally time to head back to the TARDIS, the Doctor linked arms with Rogue and Ruby, one on each side, and led them through the streets of the SECC. Ruby headed to bed for the night, leaving Rogue and the Doctor standing in the middle of the parking space, between the TARDIS and Rogue's ship.

   "Ah, um, what do we do now?" said the Doctor.

   Rogue was surprised by his hesitancy, but he supposed in a way this was the end of a date. Who wasn't awkward at the end of a date?

   "Well, I wasn't planning on dressing like a rockstar tomorrow," said Rogue, closing the distance between them. "So if you want to make the most of this…"

   The Doctor pressed up against him and kissed him harder than he had at any point so far. Rogue supposed that meant he wasn't worried about snapping him in two anymore, which was probably a good sign.

   "Come on then, your place," the Doctor mumbled, pushing them both towards Rogue's ship. "You live in a total grungefest, seems fitting."

   Rogue laughed as the Doctor dragged him inside. "The Earthlings aren't exactly grunge."

   "Shut the fuck up," muttered the Doctor, slamming the door.

   Rogue grinned and did as he said. He had a brief stab of remembrance as he brought the Doctor back to the sleeping quarters, where he and his partner had laughed, dozed and kissed the night away. But he pictured his partner watching how his life had unfolded since that day, and knew they'd rather have as much life as possible filling up this ship. He and the Doctor crashed down into his haphazardly made bed, and didn't stop moving until they'd exhausted every last scrap of blue and pink lightning bolt energy that sparked around them.

---

Thanks for reading this story! I'm trying to follow a regular season's pattern so I'm off to the past for the next story :) (again let me know if you have any requests for places the Doctor, Rogue and Ruby could go)

Next story: DnDoc, A Man's a Man

@off-traveling-in-the-stars @casavanse @monster-donut @letsargueacrossthestars (let me know at any point if you no longer wish to be tagged in each post)

[polyhexian]

I like how the eventually AU gives Camila the opportunity to get another adult's perspective on Luz and the Boiling Isles during the human realm stay. Like, no offense to the kids, but when you're a parent and you're trying to determine if your child is in an okay situation, you're going to put a bit more value on the insights of a fellow adult than those of a bunch of teenagers. Let alone when the situation is that your kid had a secret summer-long stay in another dimension.

So I'm imagining one of the rare moments they get to talk when there's no kids around cuz they're all out trying to build a portal door or something, and it's like

Camila: I've just been so worried about Luz, she's always had trouble fitting in, she's never had any real friends, her teachers don't like her, it's hard for her to focus on things she's not interested in and she has trouble applying herself, I know she's smart but her grades are all over the place, she'd rather think about her fantasy worlds instead of do anything to engage with or prepare for living in the real one - except it turns out she's found a REAL fantasy world? And I'm not sure if that makes things better or worse.

Jasper: Uh, your daughter has made several very close friends and is generally accepted by the entire student body, she rediscovered an ancient type of magic usage that everyone forgot about ages ago, her teachers love her, she successfully convinced her principal to LET students study multiple tracks despite wild magic having been forbidden for fifty years, she's handled every adventure and scrape she's ever gotten into beautifully, she routinely surprises and impresses her mentor Eda the Owl Lady who was up until recently one of the most powerful people on the Isles, she broke Amity free of her parents' toxic influence and successfully deprogrammed my son out of a cult, she's friendly and creative and brilliant and everyone who knows her is extremely grateful to have her in their life.

Camila: …

Jasper: …

Both: Are we talking about the same kid?

Which is GREAT

what I love so much about Luz is how much she blossomed in this world and how much her old one stunted her. Makes me crazy that she finished human high school for whatever reason before moving permanently to the isles. I like to think Camila would see that her daughter belonged where she was happy, that the right place for her was, as much as it hurt, not here. And she would rather her be happy than be with her. Obviously she still sees her all the time but like. Luz is herself, all the way, without apology, in the world she found, and she is loved there and understood there. I think vee and Luz make such awesome- foils? Parallels? In that way. Both were brought up in these worlds that suffocated them and stepped into a place where they blossomed, where they could be genuinely truly happy. Vee had only lived in the human realm a few months when the rest of the crew showed up but she'd already fully adapted to human realm stuff! The same way Luz immediately just adapted to everything witchy. Amity and Willow panic at the sight of an alarm clock. Vee is already so familiar with this world she knows how fire extinguishers work, what human food is supposed to taste like, how to speak Spanish and use a cell phone and alarm clocks. The way Luz is like oh NO teenagers but vee just happily sits down and talks to them. These people are like her. They aren't like Luz. Luz is an outsider in the world she was born in and so was vee and it is so much better for them both that they found somewhere they could actually BE.

Anyway yeah lol this timeline Camila can really get the full perspective on how incredibly well Luz has done. From Camila's perspective her daughter ran away from home and when she came back she was wounded, traumatized and seriously depressed. She didn't see how genuinely happy and at peace Luz was there. She is totally reasonable in suspecting this place was Bad For Her.

But while Luz is unwilling to talk too much because she's depressed and all the kids have limited perspectives and probably aren't comfortable talking about luz to her mom anyway- jasper can fully be like yeah no dude you have no idea. She's a bright star people flock to. She's so confident and happy and optimistic and kind. She literally deprogrammed my child soldier son and rescued him from a cult. Won't lie to you ma'am, your daughter has put her life at risk many times and many people have tried to kill her- but they all failed because she is so strong and so loved that he is never alone. Luz is legitimately a hero.

What a wild thing to hear about your child. Both the danger she has been in but also... How much she has flourished within that danger. Your fifteen year old daughter's passion is in saving people from shark attacks or something. It's not just that she's happy, it's that she's strong, fulfilled, passionate, she's filled with a LIFE she never was before.

[pebblysand]

WELCOME BACK TO THE PAGE PALS PROJECT! AS A REMINDER, THE "PAGE PALS" PROJECT IS A GROUP RE-READ OF CASTLES. FOR MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE READ THIS POST HERE.

THIS WEEK, WE'RE DOING CHAPTER 2. BELOW, YOU'LL FIND MY THOUGHTS AS A CONVERSATION STARTER. FEEL FREE TO SEND IN ASKS IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS/THOUGHTS, AND TO JOIN OUR DISCORD SERVER FOR FURTHER DISCUSSION.

HANDY LINKS/INFO:

chapter: ii. out of ash (ashes twirl)

wordcount: 10, 476

playlist: notes here

castles FAQ: here

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g e n e r a l t h o u g h t s:

for a very long time, this chapter used to be my favourite, and i still hold it in very high regard. i don't know what it is about it, it just feels like ✨vibes✨. it's both incredibly funny at times, and incredibly sad, and i feel like it really exhibits that awkward post-war happy/sad balance that is so important to castles. even if it's no longer my favourite cause i'm not quite sure which is my favourite anymore, i still think chapter 2 has some of my best writing in this fic. i'll go through a few chosen bits below but i feel like it has that general sense of messiness and melancholy that i really like in the early days of this story.

just like with chapter 1, you might notice a few changes i've made along the way, depending on when you read it last. again, i don't think it's anything major but if you do notice, you'll see that i didn't actually delete anything, just moved things around a bit. i think it flows better that way. i also added some stuff - i'm curious to see if you'll spot it. let me know!

having said that, omg, i'd forgot how SLOW the pacing is in this chapter. don't get me wrong, i think it needs to be slow for the purposes of telling the story, but it's very much like: this is them leaving the hotel, this is them having breakfast, this is them testifying - it is very step by step lol. i worry about my pacing in the later chapters, sometimes, but i clearly forgot about this one lol.

g i n n y:

Generally, reading this just this morning, I couldn't help but feel this raw sense of panic in Ginny, throughout this chapter. I think obviously, it's something that only really makes sense and becomes apparent on re-read, but there's this way you really feel how fucking terrified she is that Harry will find out. I hate to say this, but the way she acts with him, that summer, is almost reminiscent of her "relationship" with Amycus, actually. She is watching his every move, everything he says, everything she says, trying to make sure he doesn't find out. And, I don't think the pretending and the lying comes easy to her, I think it basically tears her apart, but those are skills that she "learnt" with Amycus. Being cued into his every emotion, expertly toying that line between saying too much and too little. She is almost manipulating him, into thinking they have this connection, and that them not talking is the Right thing for them, and it's not really her fault, it's how fear has wired her to function, but I find it chilling.

h i g h l i g h t s:

A year later, roses bloom once again in the gardens of Ottery St Catchpole and Harry’s still holding her. Some things in life never change, he muses, although, of course, everything else has changed. They’ve both fought in a war that should never have been theirs and one of her brothers has died, leaving the start of the summer to mend itself without them, trapped in a combative attempt to shovel the little hope it has left down their throats. When Harry caresses Ginny’s skin, the summer of ‘98, she’s naked next to him, the both of them tucked in her small, twin bed at The Burrow. They try to be quiet (always, despite the silencing charms they cast) but they each have a side, now, an oddly domestic habit, and after they have sex, Harry often lies with her body wrapped around him, so close that he’s never quite sure where her limbs start and where his end. Her bed’s pushed up against her window - along the skin of his left arm, he feels the morning dew build as the night chill leaves the air; it trickles down the single-glazed glass. They watch the sun rise together - early mornings and milky skies.

I LOVE THIS PARAGRAPH SO MUCH. idk, jokes aside, i think it's one of my favourite things i've ever written. there's a flow to it i really like and i adore the end of "early mornings and milky skies". and i think it's the beginning of this motif that sort of comes back in chapter 17 where the two of them are always touching, comfortable in bed. the chill of early summer mornings and OH I LOVE IT.

'I'm not a Healer, Harry.'

so, this is actually a line i added in reaction to a) the people in my comments being mad that ginny wasn't weeding secrets out of harry and that being "ooc", and b) a conversation i later had with @btelling. i think there's this misconception in fandom about ginny being a "healer". this idea that she's almost harry's therapist after the war, the only one that can get him talking, etc. and i think firstly, there's very little evidence of that in canon. ginny asks for explanations, often, but she very rarely ever gets them. and secondly, there's this general view of women as healers in general, tending to "sick" men and making them better, which i don't particularly enjoy. so, i guess that was me reacting to all of this.

They barely swallow any food. For the other two’s sakes, Harry tries to hide the knot in his stomach, can tell that Hermione is anxious enough for the three of them - she keeps tapping an annoying rhythm against the table with the tips of her fingers, doesn’t even seem to realise she’s doing it. Her make-up is minimal, the varnish on her nails a plain but shiny transparent. His mind drifts back to Ginny again, how she always painted her nails in bright colours in school, reds and oranges, and golds, performed complicated charm work on them so that it would stick. ‘If I don’t, it always chips with Quidditch.’

i noticed this on a previous re-read but, i don't think i wrote this intentionally but i love the way harry is so infatuated with ginny in this. like, i think this is one of the moments where the fact that he totally idealises her and is very teenage-infatuated-crazy-about-a-girl really shines through. he literally looks at hermione's nails and is like: oh and by the way GINNY does her nails like this. it's so silly but it really shows how obsessed he is with her, but also how shallow it kind of is. he thinks it's deep, because when you're that age you think you're so deep, but it's actually not.

‘When we get there, it’ll be like the craziest circus you’ve ever been to,’ he speaks, quick, before he runs out of words. There is an urgency to the things that he needs to tell them both, ones that they don’t necessarily want to hear. ‘It’ll be dozens and dozens of people standing in a crowd, clapping and screaming, and wanting a piece of you. They’ll want to thank you, insult you, ask you questions, tell you personal stuff about themselves. They don’t mean anything bad by it, they just don’t really realise you’re a person. The press will be there, too, and they will be flashing their cameras just about five inches from your face to try and get a good shot,’ he adds, raising his hand close to his own cheek, showing them the distance. ‘They’ll want to touch you, have you sign stuff, and they’ll keep talking at you from the moment you step out of that fireplace to the moment you get into the lift. We’ll have an escort of Aurors to try and hold them back but I honestly doubt that they’ll be able to do much. It’ll feel like you’re in the longest tunnel you’ve ever been through and you can’t see the exit. At least, wear that scarf over your head, it’ll hide your face and your eyes from the cameras, protect you a bit. Ron, you can use the hood at the back of your robes.’

i think honestly, this is one of my favourite harry moments in the whole fic. i can't possibly tell you how much time i spent on this paragraph, back then. i see it as one of those post-war moments where harry actually does start growing into his own skin and also where you start being faced with the reality of the post-war world. there's this sort of "bubble," i think, throughout chapters 1&2 where they're all very removed from the outside and inside their little burrow bubble, and that obviously bursts big time, with the commission. there's something very brutal about the way harry speaks that day, and i think it really fits.

‘Why were we never kids?’

ah, another castles classic line people quote all the time. yuuup. 💔

That evening, the both of them eat Pad Thai takeaway and sit on the floor in front of the muted hotel telly. They laugh at funny Hogwarts stories of Romilda Vane and crazy things that Harry remembers Luna saying. They drain a few cans of bitter and wait for Ron to come home.

i've always loved this moment loads because it's 1) harry-and-hermione-my-babies!!!! but also 2) it has these trio-codependency vibes that are very present in the early chapters of feeling lost when the three of them aren't together. the way they "wait for Ron to come home" breaks my little heart for them.

Love in its million different forms, the way Dumbledore preached it. Harry loves Hermione the way he loves Ron, like the boy who introduced him to chocolate frogs and the girl who cried in the loo and faced a troll.

again, trio vibes. love, love, love.

l a s t l y:

okay, so i love, love, love the rest of this chapter but also i'm having a hard time articulating precise thoughts so i'll leave it at that for now. please do not hesitate to send me asks if there's anything else you'd like me to comment on, though. very excited to hear your thoughts.

[farmboyprince]

My introspective- week 1 of @2024-grimoire-challenge

Tuesday, 2.1. It's only been a few days, but I already feel like I've done something good for myself. Writing definitions on the first day felt like a great start, especially since I'm writing in my native language and spell/ritual don't translate perfectly- I've chosen the words that I think most fit and expanded on that. It will be helpful to have a kind of dictionary and I already have some ideas on what to add to it when I have time:)

I'm also a bit surprised that I recognise the english words for the plant and spice I chose to research, but I wouldn't have ever connected them with ours- I just thought it was something we don't have here xD I feel a little silly about it, but interested in finding more connections like that!

Wednesday, 3.1. I've found today's prompt pretty difficult on the account of the yearly celebrations outline. A couple were quite easy to list- the summer and winter solstices, the spring equinox, pust,.. but for some others it's hard to find credible sources for even approximate dates of celebrations (on account of my ancestors not having a written language and forced christianisation). As such, I wrote down the dates that appeared most often (and most well sourced!). I ended up with 10 celebrations- 6 that I know how they're celebrated and when they are, and 4 that I either saw mentioned a lot or that seemed nice, even if I can't find definite proof of them being historical (Domovoj my beloved, of course I'll have a day for you<3).

As for the tools I use, they're just there to make the whole spellcasting/ritual experience feel a little more mystical and add a bit of whimsy. I have a couple different candles and incense/wax melts, sometimes I add stones or shells I found on the beach. All of those get placed on a "vibes" basis before I do my work. I also sometimes burn herbs I've foraged or make tea with them. My most important tool is my wand; a sun-bleached conifer stick I found on a mountain once. It's just a stick with a wax coated tip (so I can use it to transfer a flame and light my candles without destroying it- very cool) that I absolutely love. It's my kind of protection- instead of casting circles, I just use my wand to start a working. I always had an affinity for trees and wood (lol), so I've never worried about saying the wrong thing or accidentally fucking the spell up as long as I had my lil piece of tree:)

Behold, the stick! It fits really nicely in my hand<3

Thursday, 4.1. Thinking about my altar- it's been trough many changes since first set it up. That was after I began doing more research into witchy stuff and it followed all the "rules"; I've had the four elements in their right places, candles, a knife, wand, cup,... In time and with practice, I've realised that's not how I work. Since setting it up my own way, it rarely changes. I have everything that I need on hand, along with my god/spirit representations and lucky things. I don't really consider it an altar as much as my personal important space where I do magic work, watch candle flames flicker and drink tea. I do want some more idols tho- I think I'll finally have to learn how to whittle.

Friday, 5.1. I don't really have any personal practices. In part, it's the reason I started this challenge- I'd like to do more research, write down my findings and make my personal practice with the help of that. The only thing I can think of is, that along with doing a yearly spread of tarot cards (I do it in january and pull one card for each month) I also pull MTG cards. It's started because divination can be fun and I really wanted to do some with my boy, who is super into magic the gathering. I usually do it with leftover cards from drafts and while I don't know about accuracy (forgot to write down what I pulled lol), it's definitively a fun bonding activity:)

all in all, I quite liked the prompts and filling up the indexes feels very rewarding! Looking forward to the next week:)

[fluffypotatey]

watching Leverage: ep 4

GOOD MORNING!

i actually meant to watch this episode last night but my sleepy brain said otherwise lol

Pre-game Thoughts:

also thank you everyone in the Leverage fandom who has given me such a warm welcome! y'all are so sweet and i feel like i'm being mothered by older cousins lol. i didn't expect this to gain a lot of ppl's attention, just a couple mutuals but hello!!! welcome to the show that y'all are vicariously watching through me or rewatching!

ok so turns out last episode we delved more into character backstory AND the overarching plot

Eliot was a farm-boy before getting becoming a bruiser, and i don't know why that is so funny to me (yes i do). my only question is when did he decide to go into that kind of business. was he an underground boxer or something? did he move to the city to "make a name for himself" but instead got into the mafia or something?

out of all the characters, this man is the one i want to know more about just because he never explains himself. oh, he recognized the fighting style of that mercenary? how sir??? oh you've been in this business for some time? how long sir????

this big insurance company is definitely the big bad. if they are the ones that our crew faces in the season's finale, i wouldn't be shocked. i would a little disappointed because these guys seem more like a s3 type of big bad that you build and build for some more seasons.

the actor who plays sterling is so familiar to me. i feel like i've seen him but he looked older than now. was he in spn? i think he was. i don't watch spn, but i've seen enough gifs to know the cast.

i've talked long enough, on with the show!

spoilers incoming lol

fluffy's reactions!

i haven't even clicked play yet WHY IS ALEC WEARING YELLOW??? LMAO HE LOOKS LIKE THE BANANA HAT GUY FROM CURIOUS GEORGE

THE CLERGY???? oh wait no this is about city council corruption. a little disappointed, but this concept is still interesting

the children trying so hard to compliment sophie about her play. i think parker was genuine tho and she deserves a gold star

nathan trying his best to compliment the play lol "a beautiful rendition!" he keeps it vague enough to ensure there's nothing bad well done

OH??? THE EX WIFE IS COMING IN??? DON'T WORRY SOPHIE EVERYTHING WILL BE OK

"what are you doing?" asks the priest suspiciously. "just....uh, moving God's plan along...faster." nice save there nathan

awwww he didn't need to ask them this time to help out

when i say sophie and nathan are in love, i mean it because do you see how soft they are for each other????

alec already with the presentation board about which corporation they're hitting next before nathan needs to ask him my heart! he's already narrowed it down and even knew just what to say, my little prepared computer nerd

ok i know alec's the guy who has more of the comedic lines but don't think i haven't been noticing that his aversions to certain places or people are little holes into his backstory (or maybe not and i'm looking into this too hard but who would i be if i didn't)

"i don't do gangs" that is a short little line but has a a lot of untapped backstory in it i can FEEL IT

very sweet of eliot to just figuratively drag alec with him to get info on the gang who beat up the priest

his son was baptised there T^T ok ok we hitting at nathan's backstory today got it

sophie picking up nathan's distress immediately NOBODY TOUCH ME

well whata you know, i guess it can be that easy to find the gang you're looking for

"how's this for answer" *shows gun* i'm so sorry i chuckled. that's so corny i'm sorry. i would get shot by that man if he did that because i would not stop laughing

YEAH THAT'S MY BOY ALEC SHOVE THAT BITCH

i forgot about the dislocated shoulder lmao

"do you mind?" OOP LITTLE DUDE'S IN DEEP SHIT WITH HIS GANG so the corp enlisted just a lackey from the gang and not the whole....interesting (also their mistake it seems)

ah this grant dude has a stick up his ass

ALEC'S FACE AT PARKER DEAD

ooooooh his publicist?

Tomas talking about his old neighborhood and then grant slamming on it NOOOOOO you hurt my boy

omfg he got yelled at by a nun they're ruthless i tell you

alec my boy "you're catholic and you want to fake a miracle?" i'm DEAD i'll have you know that good intentions are very important

eliot immediately on board with shooting the statue with a paintball gun after saying he thought the idea of the statue bleeding was dumb

AH sophie and nathan heart to heart T^T "you were the good guy...that's what made it fun" "i was...tempted" SEE THIS IS WHAT I MEANT BY DON'T TELL ME BUT ALSO TELL ME

she gonna wait for him T^T "but not for too long" LIES SOPHIE

OOOOOOH TOURIST TRAP

GRANT IS DOING WHAT I THINK HE'S DOING

NO I WAS JOKING ABOUT THE TOURIST TRAP

TOMAS'S FACE

THE VATICAN?????

i love fr. paul. he's so mad lmao

wow we really getting into it

tomas i love you, i'm so glad

FUCKING SHIT I WAS FOLLOWING THE CONGREGATION

"a reading of the Gospel according to Luke" me: "glory to you oh lord---SHIT"

see, this is why i keep my thoughts to myself with a priest because they will use in in their homilies.

WHAT A TWIST

TOMAS MY BOY

ok but saint nick is santa claus tho

he is also the patron saint of prostitutes

general thoughts:

i really thought this episode would center on the clergy and all of that, but that's a too big topic to even cover for one episode. not to mention that that issue covers more than the US and i don't think the leverage crew will go international with their heisting yet.

and this did a great job covering how a lot of poorer communities get screwed over by bigger corporations seeking to expand their commercial empire. ALSO how most of their issues comes with underfunded infrastructure that local governments ignore, giving those corporations such a "great" reason to state their case on why those buildings/neighborhoods should be torn down.

AND it even touched on how quickly things that should be considered marvels are so easily commercialized in this day and age. grant was so ready to turn that church into the next disneyland which 1) is sacrilegious and 2) is such a shallow view on miracles. but hey, that's what US brands have done with Christmas soooooooo it wouldn't be surprising to see someone try to do that with a crying statue.

we even get the discussion of intention vs action because THAT is a hot topic in the Catholic community. do the ends justify the means? do the means justify the ends? and while they kind of leave that question in the air for the audience to decide for themselves, it kind of ends with the episode leaning more on the intention's side. Father Paul broke his vow and revealed what he knew when Nathan confessed because he felt that it was the right thing to do (intention: do right by his church and conscience; action: break the vow of silence a priest makes for confessionals). Our band of thieves framed Grant in order to keep the church's integrity and save the neighborhood. Both acts are considered bad, but both were done with the intention to do good.

so yeah, it was a fun episode, my ot3 trio are going strong. and i can't wait for more!

[fizzingwizard]

lupin zero ep 4 dethrones ep 3 as my favorite! spoilers

This was the sort of episode I was hoping for! Finally Lupin and Jigen feel like children. Finally Lupin doesn't already know everything, but still manages to be cool and silly and utterly Extra. His motivations for wanting to a build a "secret hideout" are both child-like and indicative of who he will become (though... did he really... drill through a roof??)

He's frustrated with his family's control and like any 13-year-old finds freedom and acceptance in his friend. So later he feels betrayed when Jigen, in his Jigen way, isn't 100% on board with his ridiculous plan, and so he scratches his name out on the pipe... but still writes it on the sign in the hideout, because like a kid, his anger doesn't necessarily last long.

I... am just NOT going to get used to Jigen's deeeeeep voice x'D The drunk scene in particular just sounded sooo weird. But Jigen's role in this episode, while predictable, was really good to see. It was good to see him push back, and good to see how much he really enjoys Lupin's company despite/because of how extra he is. The symbolism with the lighter... I actually expected something different, but I like how they went with it. I just hope he remembered to put his cigarette out before he fell asleep too haha

One thing I forgot to mention last time: I'm really enjoying the aesthetic, I think they said it's 70s Japan, although to me it seems a little before that. 50s-60s-70s all blended together perhaps. In episode 3 when they visited the radio bar... I have forgotten the term for them but they used to be a big thing, bars where you went and there were speakers and records playing. It's hard to imagine just going to a narrow little bar to sit and listen to recorded music, but when records were a new thing it was really in. There have been a few really cool nods like that, I rather wish they would gone much further and really dug into the mid-century vibes.

Jigen lives in a house boat of some kind? Supposedly with his dad who we never see. I'm not sure about the history of house boats in Japan. It looks like a proper home inside, not fancy, but there's furniture and a raised floor with tatami I think.

Details like that are so cool which makes me sad that we've only got two episodes left. It sounds like next episode will kick off the finale, which is a relief on the one hand because fitting it all into one episode would probably mean a repeat of episode one in terms of just flying through interesting bits. But on the other hand, wow, this series is so short, it just whets your appetite and leaves you hungry... The fact that I'm disappointed at least means I've liked it (the last two episodes in particular I thought were really great).

But I would not say the story of this series feels like it's reached an ending point. That's my one worry. The question is, how long does the series really need to be? As long as it accomplishes the goal of showing how a young boy decided to chose his path, it doesn't need to keep running, we already know where he goes from that point on. So whether or not that happens will be decided by what goes down in the last two episodes. I could definitely watch a full series just of Lupin and Jigen dumbass hijinks at school, though hahaha.

Basically I think I will be disappointed in a few areas, but my hope is to be overall satisfied. Really wondering if Shinobu will be more relevant in the finale (Lupin II is a given), and if there will be a more pointed reference to Youko being an influence on Lupin's type of girl... Which maybe isn't necessary lol he obviously likes her, but it's just so WEIRD not to somehow reference Fujiko when Youko's clearly filling in for her in this series... I would really love like a 2-second cameo of young Fujiko somehow seeing Lupin on the news or something? show just feels weird without her.

sorry goemon zenigata it feels weird without you too <3 I had hoped to see young zenigata at least, who knows, two episodes left...!

[artsynoova]

A bit late to the party on this one but what would you describe Benjamin and Claudia like?(apologies if that’s not her name I forgot lol)

No no! You are not late at all! Now, How would describe them? In a simple way : Ben is a nervous nerd who has been alone for so long that he has forgotten his social skills but he´s constantly trying to get better

And Casandra (Don't worry about not remembering her name, I've realized that I don't share enough of her pff) A stubborn woman who just wants the best for the ones she loves, even if she uses unconventional methods Now for a more complex look:

Ben is a man who preferred to get away from everything and everyone to avoid being hurt again. But no matter how hard he tries to hide it, his love for life is strong, only time will tell if it is stronger than his fears.

Casandra is so fixated on recovering the life that was taken from her, that she hasn´t allowed herself to enjoy the life she has. Her only desire is to repair her mistakes and to be able to give those she loves the life they deserve. If she is included in that life, she doesn't  know

[rulanarinrush]

d/r/dt rewatch ch2 part 1! Please do not interact with this if you find it

episode 1:

phrasing is interesting. "it's my job" huh eden

"im sure everyone will wake eventually" SHOWS OVER GUYS

"sometimes, i really envy how easy it is for you to be kind"

"tried to kill?" wdym eden one of them actually committed murder lol(nothing against min)

"but maybe I'm worrying about nothing since you seem to be the same as you ever are. I guess someone super brave like you is doing just fine."

i should just screen record the beginning part of ch2 this convo is crazy

is it wrong, should i be more emotional, is basically what he's seeing in fewer words

"part of the reason I'm cooking is to distract myself. working calms my nerves"

"I've never been good at grieving, I'm just gonna copy them"

"grieve how you normally do"

"then im not doing jack shit lol"

this convo gives me hives it's so good and creepy

"I cook all the time"

"for everyone else?"

"no cuz im alone. and that's good"

eden is confirmed to have parents, and she loves them -> it would be upsetting to be disowned

Levi: my father, my mother, my brothers... bad influences on each other

disowned is a euphemism that does a lotttt of heavy lifting lol

Levi: i wanna be a good person eden: already are! me: ::sweatdrops::

ay ay ace don't call eden a dumbass she's not even my favorite and i still feel primal rage at those words /j

teruko has a bunny charm now huh

Oh I'm guessing David either couldn't sleep after the trial, or he's a heavy sleeper. Either one isn't good lol

"im a people too!" ? Maybe that's an intentional mistake

i didn't realize arturo was the first to insult the paper cutouts lmao and the ugly voiceline got me. arturo mr ultimate arts and crafts guy

2st?? what's going on with this episode lol

J, Arei, Ace, David, Eden, and Veronika all have bad reactions to their (given) secrets

Veronika's "how interesting" line made me giggle lol. i need therapy

AUGH FUCK MY EARS I SOMETIMES WATCH SHOWS WITHOUT THE AUDIO WHEN IM AROUND OTHER PEOPLE I DIDNT KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN

Whit: we shouldn't be sharing our secrets david &arturo: acksually

arei: you look different from what i remember! (So does that mean that she used to look very feminine in the past?)

"isn't that a common name? nu uh!"

Stupid bitch! these voicelines are so funny

"hid your beauty behind that rough, boyish look" is what triggers her huh inchresting

J-> does not find the spotlight particularly nice, and is generally disdainful of her mother for constantly showering her off as a prized hen. "vain and artificial" are her adjectives huh

While what he did was pretty fucked up, they do get over J pretty fast lol

arei: there's *definitely* worse secrets, got nothing to hide tho lol levi: tru bestie! no sharing arei: bitch

teruko: i have no one and nothing to live for. and since i ain't want to leave neither r u

metaphors huh veronika

oof in chat 4 charles...

episode 2

4 rooms, elevator only way to get between floors

there's a sewing machine in the dress up room

"you haven't been in japan in years"

giant scar on back(that i forgot... oopsies!

"misfortune is inevitable, I've long since stopped questioning it"(so i forget my own pain)

prescriptions question means he did not ask t/eruko or hu beforehand. but that medication they need is provided only for them

whit-- cannot sleep with light. tv light is covered

wait i just realized the haircut made her hair shorter but it's somehow even grayer lol

"I used to be the most judgemental of him" huh... i don't remember this

"Don't say that I'm a good person, bc it'll only make me feel bad that im not"

Teruko's first instinct is to try to help, though she tries to suppress it.

She took all the drinks and food but where's she storing it?

Ace takes the resistance band(to spite Levi? maybe he needs it for smth i missed)

Levi: help me teruko uwu teruko: ditch the guy he's gonna die anyway. besides, all ppl abandon me and i suppose it will be the same 4 u ace: wtf... you know you guys didn't mute the discord call right?

nico: does not realize they are blunt until teruko points it out

the fish are specifically minnows, and stressed out

social norms and "common" thinking/phrasing nico finds difficult

IMPORTANT *automated misting system turns on overnight, making the turf sticky -> implies footprints will show, carried out of room

turf absorbs water

this room closes at 10 pm and reopens at 8 am, when things are *definitely dry*

swing is slippery, ground is soft

*GROUND IS MADE OF SAME STUFF AS TURF. MENTIONED AS SPONGY*

mono designs are associated with fear

no one except ter/uko remembers a past killing game. no sufficient evidence to prove

a. if she's been in a killing game before b. if she remembers watching one c. if she remembers the hope's peak one in 2010

ceiling fans like in the gym, which rotate CLOCKWISE. why are they circulating warm air around the room instead of cold? hu knows...

episode 3:

caulk the bathroom

the w in woogle is so sloppily edited it makes me laugh (positive)

*important killing game building was not originally designed for a killing game. "meant to be occupied by humans" the design of the building is still totally garbage cuz there's no fire exits lol

"you don't have friends anymore LOL"

favorite color of monot/v: blue or yellow (whit and j? or whit and eden)

mon/otv: runs the tv show, but does not know which of the human classmates orchestrated this

cannot answer "how to end the killing game?"

teruko never asked "why" tho...

im guessing the blood phobia got worse after seeing Xander's corpse

in a lot of medical debt. has no identifying info, went to big schools that didn't track individual students. steal a uniform tho is interesting, since this takes place in a U.S. similar to the one in 2010... does this mean one of the social changes is that most public schools require a uniform in 2080? i would think it wouldn't occur so often for it to be a problem for her

gives teruk/o his given motive bc he knows that he might become incapacitated

charles: "whit is not someone i can rely on to sacrifice someone for the greater good"

charles: we went thru reverse character development bestie teruko: nah charles: fuck xander tho teruko: no more xander

OUGHHH THE CACTUS SCENE THE ONE THAT MADE ME NOT GIVE UP ON THIS SERIES OKKKK his cactus accent is really good.

dreams of bringing a knife to reassert power and to control her trauma rather than it just never happening

is fully aware that someone made xander do it

the drawings on the floor lol

"you're the last person i want to be friends with, because when your heart shatters, I don't want to break too"

"im not optimistic because I'm dumb or naive, i know this world is cruel. but I'll prove you wrong and that being kind isn't a weakness. not caring about others is the worst way to live."

i really want to know why the fans r clockwise tho. whats up with that

[jazztato]

Hey so I've been reading your blog and I love it to bits and pieces and I was wondering if you could do a actor asra x reader headcanons and him having to do romance scene also thank you for the following I'm blessed but also why me lol have a good day mine not so great sorry this is to long bye

I'm glad you enjoy reading my blog! And of course here's your request! I hope it's to your liking QWQ This is also modernized but I hope you enjoy it! Feel free to request again if you like!

Lights, Camera, Action! (Actor Asra x Reader)

This will start off in (Y/N)'s P.O.V

Today is the day!  Today is the day I'm going to finally audition for a part in my favorite play!  I recently found out that they're holding auditions for the play I just adore so much!  The thing is they're not just holding auditions for the play they're also turning it into a movie!  But here's the thing: I'm a bit nervous and scared that I won't be able to get a part in it..  Especially since a lot of famous actors will be auditioning as well.  On the outside I'm calm but on the inside I'm totally freaking out!  Do I have what it takes to be an actress..  Or am I going to fail like most of the outcasts in this world..  I started to hyperventilate  but as soon as someone saw me freaking out I immediately stopped but then started freaking out again when they started walking towards me,  I tried to hide but it was too late they were already standing in front of me.  

"You alright?  You seem to be hyperventilating?  If it's about the audition then no need to worry!  I'm sure you'll do great!"  The person that stood in front of me did their best to make me less nervous but when I realized who they were I almost had a heart attack.  It was none other than the actress Portia Devoriak!  Her and her brother are very well known when it comes to acting and the movies they star in, I can't believe i'm talking to the actress Portia!  I-i should say something before things get awkward more than it already is,  I took a deep breath before speaking.  

"T-thank you..  I'm new to this whole thing..  I've always wanted to be an actress but always got too nervous when it came to it."  I scratched the back of my neck as I looked at the floor staring at my worn down Nike shoes.  

"I know exactly how you feel!  When I first started out I was a wreck!  I kept messing up my lines and I almost passed out on my first day."  She let out a laugh.  

My jaw nearly dropped to the ground.  "You messed up?!  No way!  But you're an amazing actress!  I've seen all your movies!  It's hard to believe someone like you would struggle.."  

She let out a hearty laugh.  "I know it's hard to believe myself as well but it's true!  My brother has been doing this longer than I have but even though he had his hard times sometimes he would just add those struggles into his scenes."  

"No wonder why he gets hurt in basically every movie he's in."  I let out a small laugh and before I know it I'm next for the audition.  

"I know right!  He for some reason loves the pain,  but I see your next!  I should head out myself, break a leg!"  As she walked out I forgot all about how nervous I was and went on with the audition, I walked up and onto the stage.  

"Miss (L/N) today you'll be doing your audition with the actor Asra Alnazar."  The director handed me my script but when I heard the name Asra I nearly went pale. I'll be doing my audition with the most famous actor Asra Alnazar!  This can't be real!  This has to be a dream but as I saw Asra walk onto the stage I knew it was real but I still didn't want to believe but once he spoke getting my attention I knew right there and then that it was real.  

"Hey, looks like you'll be auditioning with me!  If you're nervous then it's totally understandable!  I've done this countless times with other newcomers, just try to focus on me and treat me as a friend."  He gave me a reassuring smile that could make any girl or boy swoon. I felt my cheeks turn a light pink. He's even hotter in person, I can't believe I'm auditioning with Asra Alnazar!  It's a dream come true.  

"T-thank you sir.."  I couldn't help but blush even more.  

"Please call me Asra, now shall we get started?"  He gave me a wide smile as I looked at my script.

"Of course si- I mean Asra."  I gave him a small awkward smile.

"Excellent!"  He took a few steps back before speaking once again.   "Why don't you start off first?    

I nodded before taking a deep breath. I basically memorized this script because I've prepared for this moment ever since I heard they were holding auditions.  "My love, why do you keep things from me..  I thought you loved me!  But when I found out about your illness I just had to know if it was true!  Please tell me it isn't true love!"  

He looked at me in shock and saw that I was really good. He then cleared his throat.  "I'm sorry my dear..  But it is true..  I was diagnosed with cancer..  I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."  He looked away with a sad expression.  "I didn't wish to worry you..  I wanted you to be happy and live your life with joy.."  

I started tearing up fake tears which looked real.  "I'm only happy when I live my life with you!  But knowing that your days have shortened it breaks my heart..  Our lives have been planned out ever since our marriage..  I can't live my life without you!  What am I going to do..."  I started to let out small cries which looked real but were only an act.  

He put his hand on my cheek using his thumb to wipe my tears away.  "Don't cry my love..  Everything will be alright..  I promise you,  we will live our lives as Husband and Wife, no illness will take me away from you.."  He then started to lean in as did I but was interrupted by the director causing us both to quickly back up with a bright red blush on my cheeks.

"That was fantastic!  It felt so real!  It was perfect!  You're perfect!  You got the role!"  He started clapping at the performance.  

My eyes grew wide at what he had just said.  "I-i got the role?  Are you sure?  I'm sure there's people out there that's better than me?"  

He shook his head.  "Everyone else either only auditioned to be near Asra or were amateurs who didn't even show any heart into it!  But you my dear, you were perfect!  The heart you put into your character was magnificent!  Everything felt so real."  

I gave him a wide smile before blushing once again.  "Thank you sir!  I'm grateful!"  

"Great!  I'll see you here next week for rehearsals."  He took the script I was holding before tossing it onto his chair.  

"You were amazing, even I was shocked."  Asra gave me a pat on my back.  

"Thank you Asra, it was an honor to meet you!"  I then started blushing at the contact he gave me which reminded me of the end scene when he put his hand on my cheek and the fact he almost kissed me, my cheeks turned a brighter red at the memory, Asra Alnazar almost kissed me..  Maybe it was just to make it look more real..  Or maybe he got lost in the moment as I did, I shook my head returning back to reality.  

Asra tilted his head a bit concerned.  "You alright?"  

My cheeks are 50 shades brighter.  "Y-yeah!  I'm fine!  I should get going,  I'll see you next week!"  I hopped off the stage before walking out to where my car was parked.  Today was one to remember..  

Asra's P.O.V

I watched as (Y/N) excited the building. She was really something, I was really impressed with her acting skills. It's almost like she's done this before, it felt so real, I got so caught up in the moment that I almost kissed her.  My cheeks started to turn a bright red, did I want to kiss her?  Or was it my acting instinct kicking in?  I was drawn to her I wonder what would have happened if I did kiss her?  Would she push me away or would she have kissed me back?  Ugh everything is so confusing!  I just met her today to what would the director say if I kissed her?  Would I have lost my job or would he be ok with it and put some drama in it..  Next week is the when she'll be back maybe i'll ask her if she knew I was going to or if she didn't see it that way but the way she spoke with me she was different then the others, she knew who I was but she didn't fan girl like any others did plush she wasn't a snobby movie actress like the other actresses I've met so that's good but i'm looking forward to working with her again it'll be a great start to get to know one another.  I looked at the exit once more, smiling softly before heading home myself.  Today was definitely one to remember, I'm looking forward to working with (Y/N) and lets just hope she's just as excited as I.  

[peanutpinet]

Lucas (mafia leader) x Reader (female)

A/N: I had this thought for days now and was like, ya know, just let it out. This is my first NCT (?) WayV (?) fanfic? Scenario? Yea XD For those who have read my past fanfics/scenarios, you know how horrible I am in explaining XD but yea, essentially I just imagine that you, the reader are a uni student whilst Lucas is part of the NCT mafia, "leader" of the WayV unit (I know Kun is technically the leader, but just for the sake of the story), okie, leggo

Sighing in defeat, you gathered all your books, stationery and some clothing before sneakily going out of your dorm and to your boyfriend's apartment since he gave you the spare key, saying that it was for emergencies or whenever you wanted to come over.

After texting Lucas that you were heading to his apartment, you went to grab a cab and head there. Truth be told, you never really went there and only got the address from Lucas. Which is why upon arriving, your jaw nearly dropped when you saw his apartment; even making sure whether the address Lucas gave last time was the exact one and making a mental note to yourself to look up things beforehand.

Upon arriving, you felt like you just came from the countryside to the big city. You went to the front desk and inform them who were you looking for, handing in your ID card and was immediately directed to the elevator, one of the securities pressing the highest floor of the elevator and left you in the elevator on your own.

Just when you thought that it couldn't get any fancier, the minute you stepped out of the elevator, you were amazed at the decor and the fact that there was only one door made it even grander. Taking out the key Lucas gave you, you were actually hoping that it wasn't the correct one and Lucas just sent you the wrong address but as it turns out, the key fits and you took a deep breath, walking into the room.

But on Lucas' side, he actually didn't receive your text message. So, the second he heard someone coming into his suite, he was already reaching for his gun because he wasn't really expecting anyone to come. But as soon as he heard your signature nervous voice, he felt relieved but worried at the same time. Did something happen to you?

"Lucas? Ar-are you in here? The people at the front desk just directed me here. I uh sent you a text" you called out

"I'm here sweetheart. Now, what brings you here at this late hour? Is there anyone I should be concern with?" Lucas stated, coming out of his bedroom

"Huh? Wow. I mean, no. Sorry, it's my first time here. I uh, I was just wondering if I could stay for the night. The dorm was so loud that I couldn't study nor sleep" you admitted, trying to avoid eye contact with Lucas, thinking that it was a lame excuse to come over

"Of course you can. I gave you the spare key for a reason, didn't I? Uh, sorry about the mess and all. I didn't expect you to come. I didn't receive any messages. C'mere sweetheart" Lucas mentioned, giving a hand motion for you to go to him

"Really?! I could've sworn I...(looks at your phone) I forgot to click the send button" you sighed, hitting your head as you went over to Lucas

"Hey, hey. Don't do that. You'll hurt your brain even more. No harm sweetheart. My place is yours. Come. I'll order some McDonalds as well if you'd like" Lucas cooed, bringing you into his office

"Damn. Two desktops?! Bro and this processor is the latest one?!" you commented, placing your bag down and immediately inspecting his desk

"Sometimes I play some games with the guys. Feel free to use it if you'd like. Lemon tea or coke?" Lucas asked, scrolling through his phone

"Lemon tea, no ice. It's worth the money better. Are you sure I can study here? Am I not disturbing you?" you questioned, sitting on the chair

"Not at all, sweetheart. It's almost 10pm. I'm done with work. You're free to use my computer. I've ordered your favourites already. I'm going to go for a shower for a bit. Feel free to turn on some music as well, alright? And please don't study for too long. I worry you'll hurt that gorgeous head of yours" Lucas chuckled, kissing your forehead before leaving you in his study room

After settling, putting on some music with your account (which was already in Lucas' Spotify), you grabbed your books and stationery then started to study for your finals. In the midst of it, you heard Lucas coming in with McDonalds; wearing a plain T-shirt and sweats.

Because there was only one chair in his office, with your consent, Lucas placed you on his lap as he was feeding you McDonalds whilst scrolling through his phone, occasionally leaning his head on your back as he does so.

After finishing the food, Lucas was about to get up and cleaned up so you could study a bit better since he knew you didn't like a messy space but when he felt your head slightly leaning backwards, he questioned whether you were already sleepy or not.

"What's wrong love? Tired?" Lucas murmured as he placed his chin on your neck, wrapping his long arms around your waist

"Huh? Oh? Sorry. I didn't realise I was leaning back" you yawned, scrubbing your eyes but Lucas stopped the motion

"Don't. Your eyes will get irritated. I think it's about time you sleep, hmm?" Lucas commented, tucking a hair behind your ear as he kissed the side of your cheek

"Hmm. I guess so" you sighed, leaning onto Lucas's chest

"Alright princess, let me just shut everything off. Kay, let's go to bed" Lucas chuckled, carrying your small figure in his arms and tucking you into his bed before going to the other side of the bed

The next morning, you were woken up by the sound of your phone's alarm but just stayed in bed whilst scrolling through your phone until you realised that you had exams that starts in 45 minutes. Immediately, you got up and went back to the study room to grab your clothes, without even calling out to Lucas and head to the bathroom to get ready.

After getting ready, you were so ready to rush out the door and call a cab until Lucas finally called out to you. Once you told him that your exam was starting in literally 15 minutes, he just chuckled and told you that he'll drive you there; which was a first since all this time, you guys just have dates near your campus since your dorm had strict rules and Lucas would just walk you there (A/N: how you guys met is a story for next time, lol).

After packing some food for you, Lucas grabbed his car keys in one hand and your hand in the other, making your way down to the parking lot where your jaw also almost dropped again since the car Lucas owned is probably enough to pay your whole entire undergraduate life.

Whilst in the car, Lucas told you to eat so you wouldn't be hungry during the exam. He also mentioned that he'll come to pick you up to celebrate finishing your finals since he knew that you've been stressing over this last final for weeks; saying that he'll treat you out.

Once you've arrived, Lucas pulled you to give a slight peck on your forehead, encouraging you to do well in your finals and that he'll see you right after you're done. You smiled and thank him. Getting out of the car, you saw nearly the whole campus that was by the front gate staring at you; even your friends were stunned before rushing to you, managing to get a glimpse at Lucas who just smiled before leaving.

"Gurl!! I knew your boyfriend was hot, but well off? You definitely hit the jackpot!!" one of your friends blurted

"Sis!! Can we save the conversation for later? I need to get this exam over with first" you bargained

"Okay, okay, good luck with your exams!! I'll see you later!!" your friend exclaimed as you went to your exam hall

Thankfully, the exam wasn't as hard as you'd thought. You didn't know if it's because Lucas actually helped you study since he actually knew the subject or something else but you were glad to finally be done with it. After the exam, you got a text from Lucas, saying that he'll be running a bit late which you didn't mind. Your friend, who was also done with her exam, came to your exam hall and didn't spare a second before plastering with all sorts of questions.

Asking you where you've been the night before since you weren't at your dorm; and when you told her you were at Lucas' place, she squealed, asking if you guys did anything spicy which you immediately cut her off, saying that you just went there to study because the rooms near yours were getting too loud and rowdy.

You also explained how kind and caring Lucas was; despite the amount of work he had to deal with, he was still soft when it came to you. Ordering your favourites from McDonalds, letting you just barged into his apartment whenever and even using whatever he had; hearing this, all your friend can do was just squeal, saying that Lucas was the perfect boyfriend.

And right on cue, Lucas texted you saying that he's almost at the front gate. Your friend saw your smile and teased the heck out of you before letting you off just because she supported your relationship; knowing that you had a rough past and it was nice to finally see you happy with someone; someone that genuinely cares about you.

But of course, life ain't that easy. Because just as you were skidding along the halls to the front gate, you accidentally bumped into someone and dropped your phone. You immediately apologised about to get your phone when the person you bumped into stepped on your phone. Looking up, you met with the campus' miss popular with her boyfriend.

"Can you please let go. I really have to go now" you sighed, looking up

"Can't your boyfriend get you another one? Oh wait, is he the one that you're meeting? Honestly, I dunno what he sees in you. Oh wait, I think I do. He's probably just in it to play around or probably did it because of a bet" the girl scoffed but you were just not having it and shoved her feet off, nearly falling if it weren't for her boyfriend being there

After getting your phone, you were about to make a run for it before she grabbed your hair, pulling you back and making you fall; calling you names and all. When you got back to your feet again, she nearly slapped you when you got ahold of her hand about to push her back when her boyfriend came and took your hand, twisting it behind your back, allowing an opening for her to get a good punch out of you.

It felt like forever since you were trapped between the two "bullies" of your campus and for Lucas, it meant something was wrong. It's been almost 30 minutes since he arrived and called you but there was no answer at all. Frustrated, he called Winwin to track your phone as he went in to find you; thinking that you were held captive by one of NCT's enemy.

When he did see you, he felt a slight relief that it wasn't one of NCT's enemy but he was still very much pissed at the sight. When the girl was about to hit you for like the 15th time, Lucas grabbed ahold of her arm, throwing her to the floor before looking at her boyfriend who turns out to be one of the bartenders in one of NCT's bars.

"B-boss..." the man stammered, letting go of your hand as you almost dropped if it weren't for Lucas catching you

"You better come to work tonight. We'll have a lil discussion about respect? Hmm? Make sure everyone comes. Or I'll just have to report Taeyong about this" Lucas growled, making the man cowered in fear

"N-no sir. Everyone will come tonight" the man stuttered as Lucas stood up, holding your figure firmly in his arms

"Good. Wouldn't want to make a big deal out of this hmm? Oh, and do bring your girlfriend while I take mine to treat the wounds you both caused" Lucas scoffed, bringing you out of the campus

Once you've reached his car, he gently placed you and put your seatbelt on before going to the driver's seat. Once he was in, he called Kun, telling him what happened and that he's planning to have a meeting later tonight in the bar. After the call, Lucas took your hand in his, stroking your knuckles as he drove back to his apartment.

Upon arriving, he helped you get out of the car and into his apartment. Inside, he brought you to his room before going to the bathroom and grabbing some medicine for your bruised face and cut on the lips. Lucas treated all your wounds as gently as possible, worrying that he might accidentally hurt you, treating you as if you're as fragile as an egg.

After he was done, he threw all the cotton buds and ordered some food for the both of you; knowing that you will tell him whenever you're ready. He put his hoodie onto you before bringing you to the living room to cuddle and just watch the whole day. Occasionally, food will come and it was all from your favourite restaurants.

After the next 5th Disney movie ended, you told Lucas that you wanted to take a shower and he told you that you can borrow any of his clothes. He even said that he'll run you a bath but you told him that you were just going to take a light shower which Lucas didn't mind. Whilst you were showering, Lucas prepared a T-shirt and shorts along with the hoodie you were just wearing.

After your shower and putting on the clothes Lucas prepared, Lucas came and redid the medicine on your wounds before going back to watching some heart-warming movies on the bed. Feeling better, you decided to tell Lucas what happened and whilst it seemed that he was calm, his mind was off wondering the endless possibilities of teaching the two that harm you; whether it'd be physically or mentally.

Either way, Lucas listened to all your rambles, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, leaning you onto his chest, giving kisses on your forehead, cheeks and occasionally your neck, chuckling when he saw you flustered; basically making you 10x better, treating you like a queen up until you fell asleep.

When you did fall asleep, he gently tucked you into bed, kissing your forehead, smiling at your sleeping figure before leaving the room to the bar where he was more than ready to make the two-person harmed you suffer; not forgetting to ask Hendery and Yangyang to come over to watch over you.

"Sleep tight sweetheart. I'll be back before you know it, alright? No one treats my queen like trash and gets away with it" Lucas mumbled, kissing your forehead as he left as quietly as possible

and let's just say that everyone in the bar that night experienced a side of Lucas that no one would like to see or hear ever again.

"Try and lay a finger on her again, I won't be so nice next time" Lucas scoffed, seeing all the staff looked down, especially the two-person who hurt you

A/N: I hope that this was alright but yea, this fanfic has been stuck in my head for days

[satsukiichan]

Hello people!! Well, after ending Here U Are I thought that maybe I have to start reading the manhwas/mangas that have been in my list for a long time, and so, well, just a few hour ago I started reading ''Hosik´s Story''. I sincerely had high expectations for this one, since the art seemed to be peculiar and cute.

🚨 SPOILER ALERT 🚨

I've read 60 chapters so far and it's been a mess of emotions, there´s 10 chapters more and 12 extras... To be honest I didn´t liked the first 20 chapters at all, I mean, I felt that the relationship was being too forced. In those chapters you can´t see Hosik making any decisions by himself (having the baby and marrying the top), It felt like it was just the top forcing on him and Hosik accepting it all.

I also saw people commenting to don´t judge the top´s actions since we haven´t read all the story and that everything that is happening is fictional so we shouldn't care, but I'm sorry I can´t do that. He literally forced himself (or that´s what we thought at the beginning) on Hosik when he was drunk, which led on him being pregnant and having the baby. HE DIDN´T EVEN HAD TIME TO THINK IF HE WANTED OR NOT TO HAVE THE BABY!! The top just came and said sweetly ''we´re going to have the baby'' and that was it. Also when he was pregnant he practically locked him up and didn´t let him go outside with the excuse that he was worried something might happen to him (although Hosik finally realized something was wrong with that jealousy and gladly they talked about it and he understood). Anyways, that´s what I thought at that time, later it came up that Hosik sobbered up and well, that´s when they made the deed, and when he woke up again he forgot and just remembered pieces of it. It was concensual and I'm glad :)

Uff, thinking aside of that facts, there are sweet moments too. the top indeed is in love with Hosik. He cares about him, gives him everything he needs to be comfortable, cares about the baby and proposed to him formally (although he did it 2 weeks before their wedding lol). It´s so sweet when he caresses Hosik´s belly and talks to the baby, and I also like that he is accepting the fact that, even though he is Hosik´s husband, Hosik can go outside to hang out with his friends and go to the university (but he still has a looong way to go haha). Plus THE BABY IS SO CUTE!!

There´s still a long way to go for them, but this is my opinion so far. I would like to see their relationship developing more, for example the top being more open minded with Hosik and not taking decision for him and Hosik too talking about his feelings when he´s not liking something at all, not just letting it slide, still therés just 10 chapters left so don´t know what will happen fufu. I'm glad things are getting better for them and their relationship, but it´s bittersweet because I can´t put aside the misunderstanding of how their story began and I would´ve loved them to talk about it. Anyways, things are going smooth and aside of the misunderstanding I like them together. They trully love each other and are still learning to understand how to love correctly.

From: Hosik's Story

[brynnmclean]

I'm putting this here because I keep thinking about it but I had dinner with my siblings and their partners last night

-- God bless my SIL for texting me like "I'm meal prepping, come get free food for the next couple of days" also when she hugged me she said "want a beer? I'll split an oatmeal stout with you" and I wanted to just. Collapse with gratitude. ALSO I am so touch starved that I have to actively stop myself from clinging to people when they hug me. ANYWAY--

Sister's BF is a sweetheart, but he also asked me what my pronouns are and said he's been basically thinking about my gender since he recognized me wearing a non-binary t-shirt like, six months ago (Me: "oh lol I forgot I wore that shirt around you lol")... And this led into a discussion with my siblings about my gender which is like. Fine. It's fine? But it's also very weird.

I swear I've mentioned being non-binary several times over the years and my blood siblings certainly know that I've bound in the past (they were very "???? Why????" about it), but there's always been like... a level of them ignoring it and misgendering me anyway. I let it go a lot because asking them to learn how to code-switch in front of our parents feels like, uh, work.

(Coming out as non-binary to my parents is a laughable concept, so. If it becomes a necessary thing, sure, I'll do it, but I'm expecting an ordeal, so. No thanks.)

Anyway, anyway, before this post gets too long and rambly, it was just. Weird to be on the spot about Gender Stuff and to have to be like "this is some of it because you were kind in asking and I'm fine with explaining more since you want to be respectful, but also like, don't worry about it???"

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Hii! Yeah don't worry about it! Live your life, the internet people can wait, I know I appreciate you taking the time to reply, no matter how long it takes! 👍✨

Oh cool! France and LA that must've been fun, have always wanted to go to those places. Will get around to it eventually. I've lived in Brazil, Canada, and now Portugal, but I've also visited Orlando (Disneyland) and Miami in the US. Hoping I can go to Spain next year to visit my best friend too.

What did you say that got people making fun of you? haha Which fic did you insert that in? The only reason I cheat while playing games is bc I get bored easily so I have to add a little bit of spice hahaha and my morals are questionable I guess. 🤷‍♀️ My mbti is the architect (INTJ-T) so I guess that explains things a bit (?). Do you know your mbti? Omg your poor roommate hahaha I mean that's the best kind of winner to be, humble winners are boring as hell lol

Aren't you glad you had those drunken experiences when you were younger instead of now tho? I can't promise I'll never do stuff like that again but I'm fine with it being behind me for now hahaha. Omg you're totally right on the accent thing, hadn't thought about it that way!

What!! You should watch Stranger Things with her! It's sooo good, it's a guaranteed fun time for you two. My favourite episodes of thobm are 4 and 6 too, I like epi 9 only up until Dani's bathtub incident.

I like doing accents too but only to myself bc I'm too self-conscious haha Although I pick up accents really easily it's kinda embarrassing, sometimes people think I'm mocking them. Do people get offended when you try to do their accents? 😂 I got a scholarship at a british english school in my home country when I was a kid so I had an RP accent growing up but ended up with a generic American accent after watching too many American movies and TV shows. Sometimes it comes out generic Canadian too haha. Nordern English accent became my favourite tho after watching Billy Elliott when I was a teen!

Awwh gee thanks! I'm happy you liked my damie fan art! Didn't know you already started writing for medieval AU, makes sense people already thought to send you prompts for it, it's a really cool universe! Looking forward to updates on all your WIPS, love them all! Take your time if you need tho!

Sounds like a really fun weekend! Yeah I know what you mean, don't worry we won't tell them you have a favourite haha. Congrats on coming second on that game of crazy golf! 🎉 and thank you, I will!

Awwh thank you for understanding!! I'll always reply to people's comments eventually it just takes longer sometimes, but I will always get around to it eventually!! France was fun I went to Disney Land Paris and shared a hotel room with my roommate (yes she was on the trip too because she was in another photography class... we have been friends for so long now) it was honestly a lot of fun and I went to LA to visit my ex-girlfriend while we were still together it was a long distance relationship and I went out to LA and my roommate was invited too so we had a trip out there and had a great time I would 100% go back to LA some time!! So jealous that you've lived in Canada that's one place I really wanna go I would love to live there it looks like such a beautiful country!! I would love to go to Orlando and Miami... I wanna see all 50 states eventually if I can... so far I've seen one so only 49 to go haha!! Awwh I really hope you can get out to Spain to see your best friend!! Which is your favourite place you have visited so far? Okay so... the thing I said is in Can't Buy Me Love and it's a bit of a long story so I'll shorten it down here, but basically a group of us were talking about myths and things and I mentioned the myth of being able to see the Great Wall of china from the moon (you can't) and to add to the myth as a buster I genuinely said "Well that's the thing, people say you can see the Great Wall of China from the moon... but can you see the moon from the Great Wall of China?" and it took a good five minutes of people telling me you could see it from my house and just about anywhere else to realise that, if the moon is out, and it's a clear night, and you're y'know facing the moon... you can pretty much see it anywhere... but that's what people still mock me about... that I asked if you can see the moon from the Great Wall of China... so I put that in CBML and had it as a story Dani tells Jamie. Haha I love your reason for cheating and think it's as good as a reason as any haha!! I do know my mbti... mine is the campaigner...EFNP-T... I don't know what these mean either I read it a while ago but forgot what it meant I just know what I am haha... oh yeah she's had a lot to put up with so she just won't play games with me anymore... oh yeah I agree humble winners are okay but I do like a good bit of bragging when you win a game I am glad yeah... although the road sign incident was only... 3 years ago haha like I would like to say I was a lot younger then but I wasn't haha the black out incident I was though... I can't drink much anymore though because of medication I'm on (life long medication) so I can have maybe one or two drinks and that's it so I can't do things like that again which is probably a good thing really!! Haha best way to be don't make promises like that because that is a sure fire way to definitely do it again the second you make that promise the opportunity to do it again will show itself haha!! Yeah Jamie just has no accent to me like she just talks like most people I know it's only when I saw people talking about it that I realised to some people the Northern accent is exactly that... an accent haha I LOVE episode 9 for me 4,6, and 8 are a joint favourite like I can't pick between them and then it's episode 9 because I do love it and I love seeing them be that happy for the first part of the episode but then it just gets so sad and I can't take it!! I do accents all the time around anyone even though I am terrible at them haha... nah people don't ever get offended they just sort of smile and shake their heads at me... some people have asked me to do their accent before but I mean, I am sure eventually someone will be offended there's a first time for everything... I just have an accent that's really similar to Jamie's it's not the exact same but it's very close I love that you've had so many accents for so many reasons... omg yeah the accent on Billy Elliot is my favourite accent ever, it is a northern accent but it's from a city called New Castle which is SO different to some

other northern accents... it's the Geordie accent and it's just beautiful I could honestly listen to people from New Castle talk for hours- people from South Shields also sound like that (SS is really close to New Castle) I can see why that accent is your favourite I wish I talked like that I loved that fan art I thought it was amazing!! Yeah I haven't written much of it but I have some of it written and when I say some I mean I have like 4 different scenes written from different points of the fic and each scene is only like 1k words so far!! It's such a cool universe and I am so happy people have sent me prompts for it!! Awwh thank you so much I'm glad you're looking forward to the updates of my WIPs that really means a lot to me!! I've had a great weekend but I am so tired now totally and utterly done after the weekend I've had haha... I wouldn't say I have favourites I have just spent more time with one niece than the other because since she was really young I've looked after her while her parents have been at work and I've had breaks from work / college / university so I have spent so much time with her and she's turning into a little mini me with some stuff she does but I love all my nieces and nephews the same (and I have so many nieces and nephews haha) Awwh thank you!! I appreciate that, still feeling really proud of my second place in crazy golf haha!! and you're welcome!! ☺️

[ofcloudsandstars]

Hey, dear! I've missed seeing you on my dash, how are you doing? What would you say your summer has been like? Sending lots of love and good vibes!

Ahhh this is so kind! I hope you have been well too. I am working on September’s forecast but I have been a bit slow since I am tired with some stuff going on. I am working on a sacred geometry virtual gallery for the plant alchemist mentor so I have been dizzy with motion sickness throwing this gallery together before the full moon haha. 

Last week I just got back from the most insane adventure that I may probably get around to writing another endlessly long post about haha. (editing this post, it turns out that THIS has become the endlessly long post about it haha so I am having a read more added). CW: sex details. It may be TMI but I added a warning before lol 

  Anyway I was having this mutual attraction with this italian guy I met through work who ALSO has a venus in Scorpio like me. We were going to go on a date but the world succumbed to The Plague. He returned to Puglia to be with his family as he quit the company and his apartment so he can just chill and live for free while he figures stuff out, but he was flirting with me through text all throughout lockdown and begging me to visit him when it was safer to travel so I was like: Oh yeah?!?!?! And I booked a 5 day long first date/vacation to Puglia to be with him lmaoo. Venus in Scorpio is intense as hell but we just be like that. My close aries witch friend moved to Southern Italy with her BF too for the time being so I was like ok if stuff goes south she can come save me but this guy like took me FARRR AWAY on the southern coast like 3 hours from her omg. He booked beautiful places like old medieval stone villas (omg one place had a wooden four poster bed, a stone fireplace with a cauldron and a huge color-changing hot tub jacuzzi next to the bed lmaoooo) and we ate endless seafood and went to the beach everyday. Only set back is we were NOT SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE at ALL and it’s really sad cause yeah I got his star chart and over analyzed it before going over there but sometimes I doubt myself like ohh not everyone is their starchart to a T, like you should give people a chance. But he was  e x a c t l y  like his star chart.

First he has A LOT of trines like a lot of fire energy which is great. He’s super passionate, but the trines means he is too chill and positive which is nice but it means he has little motivation to do anything. (Think when there are great trine transits happening, it’s FANTASTIC for doing magic and manifesting things but those days the energy is so chill and harmonious you don’t even want to do anything and they can easily pass you by.) Meanwhile my chart?? It’s fucking SQUARES ALL DAY BABEY like Squares, Oppositions and more Squares. I have something called the grand cross on my fucking chart lmao. So that means I overthink, I can get stressed easily, my life soundtrack is just this long anxiety ridden drum and base background music as I fucking parkour through endless obstacles of racism, sexism, gender identity, fleeing the states cause it’s becoming a totalitarian government, learning a bunch of european languages and skills in case I gotta flee england next, thinking about the future, thinking about my actions in the present, thinking about how I can learn from the wounds of my past, lmao everything is thought about at least 1000 times. I also have a lot of Saturn energy my chart is Saturn dominant so there is a lot of planning, structure and organizing to me. Meanwhile since he is hosting he never has a plan and is always ‘go with the flow’ so sometimes it makes me nervous cause the first place he booked was some GHETTO sex motel that looked like sex traffic was happening in there and I was in the middle of no where with him and I was nervous like praying to the Spirits of Nature and Venus to help me work this out haha. But it was ok. 

His life is so easy cause he’s like a handsome italian man with a mom that wants him to live at home with her until he finds a wife to mommy him. He never has to do any house work or really any work at all cause his parents will support him cause that’s normal in Italy. Honestly if I got with him I would never get that same treatment I would also be hauling ass in the background to cater to him and our kids until the day I die. He also doesn’t really understand what it’s like to be of a group of people ostracized by society. He is a hot cishet white man and has a whole community of good friends and a mom to support him with whatever he does.

He’s also like really traditional and was raised Christian. I told him I was a witch and he was like ohhhhhhhmyGOddddddd and thought it was fucking weird haha and I was like: YOU NEVER NOTICED ME AND ROXANNE (my aries witch friend who moved to Italy who literally wears massive metal pentagrams everyday) ARE WITCHES?! And he was like: I do not know about this haha. 

Lastly about his starchart which worried me when I first reviewed it is that our natal mars are at a square. I mean I have had sex with someone’s Mars in Aries before and it was great but his sex?? Was TERRIBLEEEE!!!!!!!!! TERRIBLEEEEEEEE OHHHH MY GOD. I am going to add a CW for some sex details in case you want to scroll but like: 

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My Mars is in Cancer so I do like it to be sensual and cuddly with some oral action but he was like so terrible and disgusting and I feel like he probably only slept with girls in his country who may have been traditional like him and never said anything to him cause I am like I dunno how you got away with this for so long having terrible sex like this. Like so grabby and aggressive it fucking hurts like he would have left bruises and I hate that shit like sex is supposed to feel good!! I don’t mind if you grab my ass cause it’s just sacks of fat lol but my boobs have shit in them like glands you can’t be grabbing that!! And sorry this may be TMI but like I’d communicate with him all the spots I’d like him to go to cause they are the most sensitive ones and he’d just ATTACK THEM like some type of police dog sniffing hidden cocaine I am like BITCH CALM DOWN I literally would have to stop him so many times so he wouldn’t hurt me. And he once said: Oh but I like that (being aggressive in bed) and that annoyed me so much I was like: Oh so if you like aggression do you want me to grab and twist your balls in the same way? And he was like: no. lol 

And then his kissing was tErrible. He wouldn’t even start out sensual he would literally just shove his whole tongue in my mouth and it’d be slimy and terrible and tastes like the ash from the weed he’s always smoking and once during sex I bent down to make out with him and he literally just stuck his tongue out in preparation I paused like: NO!!! Like omg he got me so heated I am so heated just typing this lmao. I am also really sensitive with like sensory things and have misophonia so sometimes if certain stimulations are stimulating me the wrong way I get more put off than the usual person and sex is so intimate like every time he grabbed a sensitive part of me I wanted to slap him the fuck back haha. The funniest part though is when I’d give up on him trying to pleasure me (everything was terrible, the fingering was like someone who is in a rush to get the elevator and is jamming the button impatiently; the actual fucking was like.. off beat?? And he could NEVER LAST; he gave me head once but that was interesting I felt like he was trying to karate chop my clit with his tongue lmao I was like please stop omg) I was like fine ok just lie down and I will give you head and we can get this over with.. And when I gave him head for the first time he did not moan or anything he would just say: Mamma Mia!!; and FUCKING HELL it would kill the mood but also I couldn’t concentrate cause I’d be fucking laughing just choking on him laughing like I could NOT. 

-- End sex detail mention lol 

Anyway I am always wary of sex with Mars in Aries people but this experience is going to make me avoid them and have trust issues haha. Anyway I got a lovely free vacation in a beautiful region with incredible food. His friends were nice though my Italian is really terrible and nonexistent (omg also speaking about communication, he forgot most of his english so it was a challenge speaking to him haha). We were both wild as hell to do this even though we didn’t really know each other but whatever that’s the Scorpio in Venus. And in a perfect Scorpio fashion we may never see each other ever again because he may not return to London, I mean we pretty much fell out of infatuation with each other cause of the terrible sex chemistry and the only reason I have to return to that region of Italy is to see my witch friend there but there is a chance she is going to move to London again and she lives in a different city from him lol. 

So yeah I have been quiet over here but this is my current life. If you want to look at the gallery I am working on it’s in it’s rough draft form but you can find it here! 

https://www.artsteps.com/view/5f4946b290389d2f7d705e86