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#i will never not cry
niceboyeds · 1 year
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you knew the password, so I let you in the door!!!!!you knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score???!!! you knew it!! still!! hurts!! underneath!! my scars!! from when they pulled me apart, but what!!! you!!! did!!! was just as dark!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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apllecrash · 7 months
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Dreams of you all the time Feels so good when we're together, love
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Like the majority of society I’m obsessed with Nimona
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And I rewatched it a million times and one thing always sticks out to me 
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There are moments when Ambrosius is surrounded by light like a little protective bubble 
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That keeps him away from the man he loves more than anything 
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inkskinned · 11 months
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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manicpixieangel444 · 5 months
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freuleinanna · 5 months
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no but you do not understand we collectively spent YEARS heartbroken over donna! and doctor never ever got over losing her! and now they are together, and they have chosen each other for family, and donna's family has warmth enough for him, and they are happy and having dinners, and 14th is casually sneaking his niece away on adventure while making sure not to tell donna because she would obliterate him and IT'S OKAY THEY'RE CHOSEN SIBLINGS IT'S WHAT THEY FUCKING DO.
listen. LISTEN.
donna's every day was taken away from her.
the doctor has been running every day ever since.
and now they get to spend time together. not a brief trip in a tardis. not a reunion before parting forever. but every. day. every day, one after the other. and they are finally home.
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lotus-pear · 2 months
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hngghh domestic......
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teaboot · 6 months
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You need to make art that nobody else likes. You need to make art that speaks to you alone. You need to cradle a serpent that eats its own tail and you need to love it until it loves you back
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beybuniki · 3 months
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band-aid ^-^
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squidokja · 4 months
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「The story 'Life and Death Companions' wants to continue.」
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a couple scribbles i cleaned up. also i think i like drawing him in varying states of distress
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hamartia-grander · 1 month
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Obsessed with my group of friends who ALL approve of me telling a cop I'm gonna write her name in my Death Note
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egophiliac · 23 days
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innocently logging in to look at the Twst schedule for May like
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I just want to have this on my blog <33
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liesmultixxx · 2 months
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“Why did you leave me?”
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can you hear me crying?
the way annabeth thought percy had abandoned her like everyone else
… girl he fell into tartarus for you, he would never leave you
NEVER
rick was evil for that
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stargirl230 · 6 months
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Sunshowers ☀️
It’s crazy to think I started this before I came to college and now I’m heading home for break…anyway here’s the final piece!
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)
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