#i will show up early ig
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today in the chronicles of women in motorsport...
#found this in ig comments and couldn't resist#this is the woman behind ferraris strategy in the early days of sebastian vettel btw#so yeah#happy international women's month#dont forget the 'you like f1 because it was made into a netflix show'#and his equally charming twin 'you only like f1 because the drivers are hot'#my brother in christ#shut the fuck up#i love it here sm#scuderia ferrari#f1#formula 1#women in motorsport#motorsports#ruth buscombe
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bro thinks hes the gift lmao what a loser (i need him)
#fnaf sun#fnaf daycare attendant#sundrop fnaf#dca fandom#my art#FINALLY started drawing again#changing artstyles like socks lol#still trying to find what im comfortable with#i think this goofy a bit unhinged sun is my fav so far#anyway happy early birthday to me ig#if this jester doesnt show up in my door in 3 seconds im gonna fucking explode#please
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"why would anyone do this?"
#riley my beloved. she. her.#also wdym this isn't how defense goes#watt spoilers#(if you want to wait until you watch the show live..)#<- that's a cast album reference#also#tw blood#if you glance carefully at riley. she's looking a little red there#i know it's a gun in the og meme and not a knife but yeah#also i thought!!! i thought about adding clark but um. he wasn't murdered by riley so . ig he doesn't get to make the squad rip#missed out design choices cut: giant xx for eyes and also the 'you tried' trophy#i have an exam later today but. jsgdjdhjfhfhfhfhf this was a good stress relief i'm going to bed and to wake up early#we are the tigers#watt#farrah watt#riley watt#chess watt#help what are their actual tags#im so early-hyped for watt week. or perhaps i never left the fandom. who knows
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Commented on an rdr2 edit and said Dutch was already going downhill since before the main story and I keep getting comments from toxic gamer men trying to debate me like "um actually 🤓" like shut the fuck UPPPPP u cannot debate me on this bitch when I know damn well ur toxic asses don't put two seconds of thought into the game's story cause all they wanna believe is that it's all about manliness and guns and violence
#vark posts#this is my fault for using tiktok ig lmao#i just really like seeing edits but i always forget the ppl on there are beyond stupid#i wouldnt be so mad about it if they weren't being absolute dick heads trying to prove me wrong#theyre all like 'um actually ur wrong cause guarma-' or 'actually it was Hosea's death'#LIKE BIIIITCH#DID WE PLAY THE SAME GAME????#LITERALLY CHAPTER FUCKIN ONE DUTCH BRUSHES HOSEAS CONCERNS OFF TO ROB A TRAIN DESPITE THE FACT THAT EVERYONE IS BARELY SURVIVING#hosea literally makes a comment still in ch1 that dutch was going downhill#if u read the damn newspaper clippings in camp dated for way in the past it shows that Dutch used to rob exclusively rich ppl#and give that money to the poor#this man was well and truly fucked way before the game#sure certain story events speed it up#but theres SO much dialogue early on even from Arthur himself that show Dutch has already changed#cishet toxic gamer bros pls stfu you cant argue with an autistic person abt their special interest#rdr2
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unsaved by meoto…
#b. but welllll ig they’ve always released the crossfades. like. around 2 weeks before the album releases s soooooo#idk what i was expecting tbh lmfaooooooooo what even is time anywayyyyy#guess minami and lxl aren’t getting any mvs for their birthday? the minami erasure is real :((((((#but hmmmmm they’d usually release related mvs leading up to the album drop right~~~~? guess they aren’t doing that for lxl? lmao#oh well since there’s no crossfade ig i now have an excuse to go to bed extra early today lollll#today was seriously tiring… most of my competent coworkers didn’t show *and* the people who did made my patience wear thin :(#the guy who’s held prisoner in my workplace seriously got on my nerves too… s i g h s#to live is to suffer ig… ✨efferverscent✨
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WATAEI WEDNESDAY
#I KEEP FORGETTING TO POST THIS ON A WEDNESDAY DON'T LOOK AT ME#ensemble stars#enstars#wataei#eiwata#wataru hibiki#eichi tenshouin#my art :>#traditional art#digital art#they show up one day early to pride ig#genderfluid wataru... they're both bisexuals#weekly wataei#<- first of many
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RIP Skuntank pmd you will always be famous to me
#team skull is so funny to me bc why are they in the lategame#you're supposed to be low-level antagonists for the early game why are you still causing trouble#after we've been to a post-apocalyptic future and are trying to prevent the world from being trapped in a permanent state of darkness#'chaw haw haw we'll steal the relic fragment so that WE get to explore hidden land instead' girl we are trying to save the planet here#go bully a togepi or something I don't have time for this shit#and then they get beaten up by that kabutops and never show up again so ig they're canonically dead 😌#anyway remake of eos where everything is exactly the same except there's a bonus postgame quest where you can pummel the shit out of them#give the fans what they want gamefreak#pokemon mystery dungeon
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i am not immune to the idea of s1-2 samifer
#avery.txt#young sam being so desperate and confused and distraught bc he thought he could escape this life but no. he couldn't#and here's this easy calm confident man who tells him it'll be alright bc he's strong and capable#sam keeps having nightmares but sometimes this man shows up and pushes them away and makes him feel at peace#not to be all freudian abt it but he never had this support from his father & now there's this handsome man encouraging and accepting him#so he feels Something. and it's fine because it's just this recurring dream right?#but then he finally is able to ask this dream man what/who he is and. he says he's an angel. who's been watching over sam since he was born#(this is a scenario where lucifer gets out of the cage 4 seasons early ig)#and sam finally feels SEEN. he finally feels like his faith has been worth it.#he throws caution to the wind. grabs his angel and kisses him. tells him he wants him even tho he knows its wrong.#and his angel is kinda taken aback. this was NOT where he saw this going/where he was trying to steer it. he didn't think sam would do THAT.#but he gives sam what he wants and oh. it's GOOD. sam dreams that he shows his angel all the love his angel has given him.#idk where this goes/what the endgame would be here but. i love young sam still grieving jess and searching for his dad or grieving for him#*being swept up by someone who gives him what he needs and cares about him unconditionally#and doesnt care that he ran away. that he doesnt obey. that he doesnt fit the mold. someone who loves these things about him.#i love them so much in every possible way <3 con or noncon <3 varying lvls of fucked up <3 love all of it#averywriting
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not saying i love you is a crazy fight to have at 14 when you think about it
#i mean i wouldn't know because i didn't date at 14. because no one wanted me not as a choice#i'm sure 14-year-olds actually have that fight. but it's like...very unserious#crazy: funny like it's a funny situation when you don't think about like...anything else about the show#i'm not even saying you can't be IN LOVE at 14 either it's just...but you don't love me anymore and then love declaration with such#severity...it's funny when you think about it#when i was 13 and she was 14 my friend dated a guy who was 15 (we were all in what would be freshman year in the us for us it's the last#year of middle school and then high school is 3 years) the girl was one of my bffs (the one who ghosted me in 2022 remember) and the guy#was also my friend very rare because i've had very few male friends in my life i'm kind of a religious fundamentalist that way. anyway#we talked on facebook like every night and he told me he was gonna buy her a ring for christmas or for her birthday i don't remember#(her birthday is in early january we had this conversation in late november) and i was like...this ring costs 120€ that's like a lot#then he didn't even have time to buy the ring because they broke up WAY before christmas it was very funny#like she broke up with him on a wednesday and the day before that he was like i can tell she's gonna break up with me i KNOW she is and i#was like whaaat she isnt...(i didn't know) he told me he had cried for THREE HOURS thinking about the fact that she was gonna break up with#him like CALM DOWN?#but like he was right ig. they dated for maybe 10 days and it's very possible that he had a new girlfriend by christmas so he was fine...#and like i say: brf slt
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I’m quite new to the topic so I have to say my knowledge of it is very limited right now, but the way that Weimar cabaret in it’s blatant sexuality and queerness, and the way that its’ becoming more integrated into “regular” society was a factor in the rise in reactionary views in the late 20s and early 30s kind of feels disturbingly similar to what’s happening now with drag shows?
Like I know it’s commonly known that Germany and Berlin in particular had a large and more openly queer community than in most places at the time, but I was just looking into cabaret specifically because I find it interesting and it was pretty eerie to hear that in the late 20’s before everything started going to shit, it had actually began to be a thing for cishet people to go to queer cabaret and nightclubs because some of the venues were so well known. Like to the point that they were mentioned in “things you should do in Berlin” type of newspaper articles and tourists would come to see them.
Idk about everyone else but that sounds so much like how going to drag shows became a semi-popular and cool thing for some cishet people for awhile, only then for the reactionary conservative views to rear their ugly heads and start not only trying to tear down drag shows and paint them as immoral, but trying to do that to actual trans people, drag performers, etc. as well.
#and ofc the way that so many of the writers for cabaret were jewish influenced the reactionary shit a ton as well#ngl this is kind of horrifying and truly frightening to think about because of how there was a similar boom in acceptance and then a rapid—#decline and now attempts to take away rights and worse#like um I knew shit was bad already ofc and I already knew about the parallels but thats straight up uncanny to me#it’s physically painful to think about how beautiful it must have been there and how good it could have been if they hadn’t destroyed &#outlawed it all obviously but it’s also like seriously sickening to realize that it’s so similar to whats going on rn#and the way that the performances increased significantlyin how political they were as a response to the growing nazi shit in the early 30s-#feels eerily familiar as well. like things have gotten increasingly political since 2016 for obvious reasons and bc its getting more dire—#by the year#history repeats itself ig#sorry this is such a bleak post lmao but yeah like wow idk#/holocaust mention#/homophobia#/transphobia#transphobia#drag shows#queer history#cabaret theatre#german queer history#history#trans rights#theatre history#1920s#also I might be wrong but I thought the whole ‘protect the children’ thing was a n*zi propaganda tactic too? tho it might have been about—#jewish people only not queer people I don’t remember well enough to say for sure#people who know more than me about this please feel free to correct me or add additional input !!#willing to add more tws if requested
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Me @ my pets: why do you get separation anxiety and destroy things when we go on a trip, can you please just be normal?
My gf: *goes on a trip and leaves me home alone for a few days*
Me: ...
Me: ah.
#methinks it is time to chew the walls in my enclosure#rambling#im very bad at sleeping alone and i dont even know how many nights shes gonna be gone :(#if she told me before then i forgot it but last night i tried to ask her and she just jokingly said she was never coming back#but then didnt give me the actual answer afterwards#i texted her this morning to ask but shes been so busy setting up her show that she hasnt had time to respond ig :(#i have class in less than five hours but I've been up this whole time stress cleaning 😭#i wish i could have someone over but my qpp has her sun this week and has to get up to take him to preschool and go to work really early#like the same time in usually falling asleep#and my other qpp and friends live two hours away :(#i just don't like being alone at night my brain gets bad :(#before my gf moved in with me i would have sleepovers with my friends as often as possible specially because of that#it made me feel safe and distracted me from the bad thoughts and helped me sleep better#there was a while where my qpp was staying the night with me literally almost every night#i haven't had to worry about sleeping alone for the past 3+ years that my gf and i have lived together#maybe i SHOULD chew wires to cope#edit: there are so many typos but I'm not retyping all of those tags im too tired for this#I'm gonna try to go to sleep now
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crawling on the walls like a bug
#dude you're like. so small. what the fuck#detco posting#i suppose one could argue that conan acted a lot more like a kid in the early days bc 90s + didn't think the show was gonna be long running#enough to give him a full arc/whatever. but i do like it a lot in a#'hey shinichi WAS really immature and he's grown up a lot over the series' way#ig like idk. tonally detco was fairly different in the 90s compared 2 now but it doesn't rlly clash with itself?#it's a logical progression 2 me. if that makes cents#txt
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going back to season 1 after getting a few seasons in and its like why are their faces so taught and smooth why are they literally so young who are these little kids wheres my laugh lined old man
#image.txt#THIBKING ABOUT GILLIAN ANDERSONS FACE AND HOW LOVELY SHE LOOKS AGING#i have this wierd wierd thing about time and bodies ig bc im still rlly young myself but#growing up i was fascinated to see pictures of my parents from early 20s bc their faces were so different!!#and when watching a tv show you dont really notice the actors aging each season until you rewatch#and ur like huh. what mulder always that young looking. did his hair always flop like that. why does dana look like a porcelain doll#let me know if thats weird if i have a weird idea of aging
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it’s just i spend so much time sharing little things about myself in the hopes that it sparks a connection with people and also i guess that maybe sometimes people will think of me yk. to feel like i exist outside of my own head. i dont think this is a bad thing it’s just where im at it’s a natural want for connection and it like. works for me. and i also dont think it’s bad to have the friends i do that are like ‘surface level’ yk. i still appreciate them and love them. it’s just, this is where im at, desperately clawing in different spaces in my life to be known even tho it’s embarrassing lol. and it just sucks that i never had to try to with her. not only did we have this extremely insane chemistry right off the bat, she’s someone that in like every way has made it seem like she actively wants to know me. beyond just the polite and whatever kind of level. and it’s like, of course that feels absolutely amazing given ive been pining since day 1 but also i just like her a lot as a person. you know. and it all sucks and makes me wanna combust sometimes that things aren’t the way i’d like them to be between us of course lmfao but i also think she’s an incredible person and she’s managed to make me feel so safe and calm and simultaneously obviously fucking crazy and energized and whatever. u know. whatever my point is here im gonna be done now <3
#jk! it's like. she remembers shit abt me. not only these things that im basically handing to the world around me like hi hey please#think of me. she notices the stuff i dont make a point to point out. stuff that i say really offhandedly or to myself#she remembered what cup i was going to use our first time hanging out she remembered my posters even tho i only showed her my room for like#a second. shes looked up movies i mentioned she. in her also very drunken state. paid attention to the exact cup i was carrying around#that was actually just sweet and smart of her. when we left she was like Um hey. that's not the one u had lol#sometimes she references things i've said and i have to stop myself from going Oh ;-; on the spot#and early on we'd tease each other even though we. didnt really know each other. so it was over the most basic shit and that was#its own thing that felt all <33333 yk. stupid silly goofy#so now. shes not talking to me for whatever reason and i think lied abt why she didnt answer last weekend and it's weird#and it's like. yeah it sucks knowing they're still evidently goin strong. but also im like damn this person that i was prepared to#call a friend and really like. care about at this point. is acting like we're at square 1#and we're not close enough for me to Fully be like Yo dude wtf. but we're definitely beyond the point where it's like#oh this is someone i just hung out with once and we didnt rlly click so im just going to be polite but not engage#if that makes sense. yk.#so monday im gonna try to get some clarity on the whole thing but ig here's me lamenting rn#haha u thought u were getting just a regular non film girl vent post. sike#im not like breaking down over this i promise im just reflecting. and didnt want to get up for my journal. so here's this#film girl saga#long post
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Also I think workplaces should either have parking or compensate you for the time you spend driving around looking for parking + the money you spend on parking for work
#drove around the city for half an hour looking for parking and you bet your ass I’m putting that on my time sheet#bc I arrived to work early. not my fault you’re making me work in an active church#also I think every city should have at least one garage. or more than one street that has more than 2 hour parking#like man im used to parking a 15 min walk from things im not upset abt that#but i am upset abt having to drive around scared not knowing of anywhere im allowed to park#update: walked the 15 mins to work and now there’s parking. I’m so upset actually#wouldn’t make sense to move my car now bc it’s either walk back now or after work. plus I’ve paid for that spot already#and like another thing that grinds my gears about it is#I work at a separate location an hour away one day a week. that gets 0 clients#I’m here just in case someone shows up. which is great in that I get a calm space to do my homework n get paid#it’s like. my job here isn’t clients my job is Drive. my job is Stress About Parking. that’s the trade off#worth it ig as long as I stay safe but on principle it’s frustrating#it’s hard to fully enjoy the secluded space when I have such a hard time getting here. it’s a bad start to my day#idk. it’s my favorite workday of the week bc it isn’t work. I get paid to travel essentially#and to do work that’s unrelated to my job lmao#I just think people should be allowed to park at or near their jobs is all#the emotional labor of like risking my life and car to get to work is almost on par w the emotional labor of when I actually have to work#mine#txt
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the first thing I look at in a man is his heart.....
#don't lie u looked there too#anyways#hi its jasmine#have u heard 👀 this one eatery just got a beautiful new hostess :0#lol I sat like three ppl and dropped a knife on somebody's foot#the radio they gave me ran out of batteries so I just cleaned menus the rest of the night....it's probably for the best though Im so clumsy#god I feel kinda bad making everyone else pitch in and play hostess but I genuinely have no idea how anything works. they're all nice <3#it's funny I got warned by my cousins like “our coworkers are all morons‼️ and the owner 🖕😠🖕 and his stewpid dopey husband”#now I'm just someone's stupid coworker 😥 omg and one of the servers was in my photography class this year and he's graduated now#he refused to acknowledge me like no “hi jasmine can I get some menus pls” he just reached behind the hostess stand. where I stood#ig tomorrow will be my first real day....it's become like tradition to me#whenever I get a job on the first day I either show up very late (bc of a crisis in my family) or leave super early (bc of a family crisis)#don't wanna share too much but my home life is kinda a mess rn like idk when my dad will be back. or my mom or my sister it's stressful#was staying at my grandma's but she made it very clear she didn't want me there like she wouldn't feed me and idk where anything is#staying with my aunt rn. she made me late today idk about tomorrow
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