#i won’t tag eddie cause i don’t want crazies in the mentions

[buckleyreid]

Maybe it’s just me but I felt absolutely no jealousy coming from Eddie towards Tommy… like 0, absolutely none. He just seemed to be playing the whole teasing, smug best friend role.

[portaltothevoid]

For Whom the Bell Tolls - Chapter Eight - Crazy Train

Pairing: Eddie Munson x OFC (Kat Ramsay), sequel to Foolin’

Summary: Eddie and Kat meet with Chrissy in the woods. It’s that scene, but with Kat.

Warnings: established relationship, unhealthy coping mechanisms, drug deal, mentions of doing drugs

Word count: 2.2k

Chapter song: Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne

Tag list: @munchabunch @madaboutmunson @michele131 @riffcrusader @prettyboyeddiemunson @idiot-parade​

School had finally let out and Chrissy could feel the knots twisting in her stomach. She lingered by her locker, making sure most of the other students were on their way to their Friday night, pre-spring break activities. When she finally made her way outside, she took a deep breath before starting toward the meeting spot; an old picnic table in the woods on the outskirts of campus. 

Every sound made her gasp and look for the cause in fear, hoping it wasn’t… whatever she saw in the bathroom earlier. No sooner did she arrive at the picnic table, did she hear a tick-tock, tick-tock. Her eyes grew wide as she stared at the grandfather clock that somehow was inside the tree trunk. 

Was she seeing this right? How was this even possible? The only thing she knew for certain was that she felt absolutely insane. She wanted to get a closer look to see if it was real. Hesitantly, she stepped toward it as it began to chime. 

Gazing up at it, the glass began to crack and shatter. Right in the center, the glass broke into a perfectly round circle. Then, hoards of spiders started scuttling out. 

She whimpered in fear as she all but tripped over herself trying to run away. She let out a small yelp when she collided right into Eddie and Kat. 

Instinctively, Kat reached out to hold Chrissy steady, getting her to focus on her eyes. “Chrissy, it’s okay, it’s just us. What did you see?”

Chrissy turned around to find the clock and the hoard of spiders had completely vanished. She looked back at Kat, eyes glazing over with the threat of tears. Swallowing hard to hold them back, she muttered, “It was… a… giant clock with— All these spiders started crawling out of it…”

Kat pulled her in for a hug. This was even more confirmation that whatever wanted Kat, wanted Chrissy too. Eddie had moved around the other side of the picnic table. Over Chrissy’s shoulder, she casted him a worried glance. When they parted, she guided her over to take a seat at the table. 

“You okay?” Eddie asked as he set down his tin lunch box and started to take off his jacket. Chrissy was fidgeting with her hands in her lap and her leg wouldn’t stop bouncing. “There’s, uh… There’s nothing to worry about. No one ever comes out here.” He felt out of place not being able to relate to what either of the girls were currently going through, but that wasn’t going to stop him from trying to do what he could to put her at ease. 

“Eddie, I don’t think that’s what she’s really concerned about…” Kat said.

“Still. We’re safe. Safe to do this, safe to talk about whatever. I promise,” he shrugged as he flipped the box open. 

“So, um, how does this work exactly?” she wondered innocently. 

“Oh you know, just like any other old sale. Except, uh, cash only and for, uh, obvious reasons, no receipts,” he smiled reassuringly at her. “I’ll give you half an ounce for, uh, $20. Plenty of bang for your buck. Should last you a while.” He took the bag of weed out of its container and it gently swayed in his hand as he spoke. 

A scurrying squirrel caused her to jump and turn around to the source of the noise. Kat put a hand on her arm to ground her back into the moment. “That thing… it’s not here right now. It won’t— It’s not gonna show itself again for a bit.”

“How… how do you know?” 

“I, um… I can feel it.”

“Hey, uh, we don’t have to do this,” he said as he closed the lunch box, still very unsure of this whole situation. “Just give me the word and we’ll walk away. Okay?”

“No! It’s not that. I don’t want you guys to go,” she pleaded. “It’s just… do you ever feel like you’re losing your mind?”

Eddie leaned his head to the side to look at her while casting a quick smile at Kat, remembering when she asked him the exact same question months prior. “Um, you know, just about on a daily basis,” he smiled. “I mean I feel like I’m losing my mind right now doing a drug deal with Chrissy Cunningham, the queen of Hawkins High.”

“And trust me, I’m questioning my sanity every damn day lately,” Kat reassured with a short laugh.

A brief silence then fell over the group. The anxiety was still etched onto Chrissy’s face. Eddie was tapping his rings against the table before continuing the conversation as a way to quell whatever was racing through the cheerleader’s mind.

“You know, Chrissy, this isn’t the first time we’ve, um… hung out,” he recalled.

“No?”

“You don’t remember?”

“I’m sorry I–”

“That’s okay,” Eddie said, cutting her sentence off before his stare went blank and suddenly he stabbed himself in the heart and threw himself off the bench into the leaves that littered the ground. Chrissy and Kat both gasped at his jarring movements. “I wouldn’t remember me either!” he exclaimed as he got up and dusted himself off. “Honestly, do I have stuff in my hair?” he asked, picking leaves that had gotten trapped in his curls. His dramatics had Kat shaking her head while Chrissy chuckled, finally distracted enough to enjoy the moment.

“You don’t remember me?”

“I’m sorry,” Chrissy laughed.

“Middle school, talent show. You were doing the… the cheer thing you do,” he recounted as he attempted to mime using pom-poms. “It was pretty cool, actually. And I was with my band—”

“Corroded Coffin!” Chrissy interrupted. Kat was loving every second of this.

“Corro– you do remember!” Eddie said as he clapped his hands together in triumph.

“Oh my god! Yes, of course! With a name like that, how could I forget?”

“I dunno. You’re a freak.”

“I always knew you were one of us, Chrissy,” chimed in Kat.

“No. He– You just… looked so–”

“Different? Yeah, well, uh, my hair was buzzed.”

“No way. Oh my god, are there pictures? Please tell me there are pictures somewhere,” Kat said wide-eyed at the thought.

Eddie laughed. “I’ll never tell. I also didn’t have these sweet old tatties yet,” he added, pulling at his shirt collar to briefly reveal one of the ones he had on his chest.

“You played guitar, right?”

“Uh-huh. Still do. Still do.” 

“And he’s a fucking beast at it, too,” Kat complimented.

“You should come see us. Kat plays too, you know. Sometimes I let her steal my spotlight and sing a song or two,” he smirked as Kat tried not to blush. “We play at The Hideout on Tuesdays. It’s pretty cool. We… We actually get a crowd of about… five drunks.”

“Hey, sometimes it’s six drunks. If you count me,” Kat chuckled. Chrissy let out a genuine laugh in response.

“It’s not exactly the garden, but, uh, we gotta start somewhere, right? So…” Eddie started pacing around a little bit and tried to expel his extra energy by fake punching a tree. 

“You know, you’re not what I thought you’d be like,” Chrissy confessed.

“Mean and scary?” he suggested, trying to hide by pulling his hair over his face. 

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“Yeah, well, I kinda thought you’d be mean and scary too,” he admitted. 

“Me?”

“Terrifying,” he said as he sat down next to Kat again.

“I swear, Chirssy was the first person who was nice to me on my first day. I can’t even imagine thinking you have a mean bone in your body,” Kat added.

“Hey, I was nice to you too!” Eddie defended.

“You couldn’t even formulate a one word sentence when you first saw me. Shut up,” Kat scoffed as she playfully nudged his shoulder.

“She, uh, has a point there. I mean, have you seen her though?”

“Yeah, I thought you were gonna be kinda mean at first too, Kat,” Chrissy divulged.

“I wanted to be!” Kat laughed. “But someone just wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“That was me. I’m the someone,” Eddie said, pointing to himself.

Chrissy shook her head, still smiling. “You guys are seriously so cute together. You’re so lucky.”

“What? Things aren’t sparkling and grand with you and what’s-his-face?” Eddie asked.

“Well, I mean, things are–”

“Things could absolutely be better. I’ve told you before. You deserve better. Jason’s just a selfish prick.”

“Aw, he’s really not that bad! I promise, he’s a good guy,” pleaded Chirssy. Eddie just laughed at her attempt at defending her boyfriend. 

“If you hang out with us, we’d show you how he’s only out for himself and his image. Trust me. Guys like Jason? Nothing but trouble,” Kat said, shaking her head.

Eddie reached for the lunch box, which he had set beside him, bringing it on to the table. “Uh, so, in actual good news, flattery works with me, so… 25% discount for the half. Fifteen bucks. You’re robbing me blind here, you know.” 

Chrissy hesitated. Any happiness she felt before had been extinguished just as fast as it appeared. She kept opening and closing her mouth as she tried to get the courage to ask the question, “Do you have anything… maybe… stronger?” She avoided eye contact and stared at her hands she was wringing in her lap.

Eddie and Kat exchanged glances at each other. They turned their concerned looks back to Chrissy as she looked up at them expectantly. 

“Are you sure?” Eddie asked cautiously. Chrissy nodded. Worry was etched onto Eddie’s face.

“Look, it’s been really bad for me too lately. But, I mean, Chrissy, have you ever even smoked weed before?” Kat questioned.

“Um, like, a couple times over the summer…?” 

“I can’t say I’m proud of this, but I do have experience with, uh, stronger stuff, but I don’t know if you’re ready for that. I mean, I’ve had to go back to… Well… unless…” Kat paused as she got an idea. “Okay, you shouldn’t use what I do to get some relief from… whatever it is that’s happening to us, but maybe… Eddie, don’t you still have some Special K left over from that last party?”

“Yeah…” he said very hesitantly. 

“I think that might be an okay place to start. But you need to do it with us. We can take care of you, in case anything happens. You’ll be safe.”

“The Special K is gonna cost more than the weed,” Eddie warned.

“Money isn’t an issue. I just… I want these headaches to stop. And the nightmares. I just want my mind to stop,” Chrissy said, the pain showing through her eyes.

“Eddie, we can help her through this. I can help her, so it doesn’t become some huge problem down the line. You’ve seen how I’ve handled this. Special K will just… relax us. All of us. We can stay at your place and just… look out for each other. Honestly I think we all could use a break.”

“Mhm, yep. Definitely losing my mind,” Eddie mumbled as he glanced at his watch. “Shit. Okay, so uh, we have Hellfire soon and I’m sure you have that cheer thing you do. So why don’t you meet us at my van when everyone clears out after the game? I’ll drive us to my place and we’ll go from there.”

“Okay, yeah. That’ll work,” Chrissy agreed as they all began to get up from the picnic table. “Thank you. Seriously. You don’t…” she trailed off as she tried to find the words to describe what she was going through, but couldn’t. Kat rushed over to her and gave her another hug.

“I know, Chrissy. Believe me. I know exactly what you’re going through. As crazy as it all is, I do. Maybe… maybe tonight I can even try to explain it to you. Help you understand,” Kat said, trying her best to soothe Chrissy.

“Thank you. Both of you. I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.” As she broke from Kat’s embrace, she gave the couple a sympathetic smile. 

“It pains me to be the one to break up the love fest, but I really gotta start setting up for Hellfire…”

“Right! And cheer thing. They’re gonna be wondering where I am.”

“Alright, so, meet at the van after the game?” Eddie recapped.

Chrissy smiled and nodded as they emerged from the wooded area.

“Hang in there, Chrissy. We’ll see you tonight,” Kat said.

Chrissy waved to them as they headed in their separate directions. Kat grabbed Eddie’s hand, needing to ground herself. “Eddie, I do not have a good feeling about this.”

“About what? Doing drugs with the Queen of Hawkins High?”

“No. Not that, I’m excited about that. I meant, just… what I’m going through and what she’s going through. Like, I know they’re connected. I just– I don’t know how. Or why. But that thing… It's so powerful…”

“Hey,” Eddie squeezed her hand as he spoke, “whatever happens, we’ll get through it, okay? Even if we gotta run to the hills. We’re in this together.”

Kat sighed and simply nodded. She leaned her head on Eddie’s shoulder as they made their way to the event Eddie has been waiting all year for, to Hellfire.

previous chapter | next chapter 

[swiftiesimonriley]

dark passenger

pairing: stenbrough warning: murder, breif mentions of past abuse and drug use summary: stanley uris has it all. a gorgeous boyfriend, a beautiful view of the atlantic, and his dream job of blood splatter analysist. he’s made a name for himself by helping to put away some of miami’s most deadly serial killers, but what his colleagues might never crack is that he is the most dangerous one of them all. a/n: the dexter! au is here!! let me know if you wanna be tagged!

"Please, please you don't have to do this!" A woman yells out, her cries falling on deaf ears throughout her large home.

Her husband left the night before for a business trip, leaving her alone for the weekend. The last thing she remembers was coming home from work and placing her purse down before the world went black.

She tries to pull against her restraints, to her what looked like plastic wrap, which tie around her chest, legs and lower stomach, binding her to her dining room table. A strap of plastic wrap keeps her head still on the table, only being able to use her eyes to look around her grand dining room.

Whoever was doing this to her covered her whole dining room in the plastic, leaving no inch uncovered.

The sound of heavy footsteps startles the woman, her heart rate accelerating as the figure gets closer.

"Please, I'll do anything! You don't have to do this to me!" She screams, hoping he has some sense of mercy.

"You see, I kind of have to do this," her attacker says firmly, moving to stand at the head of the table so he can look at her face to face.

The first thing she notices are his deep green eyes, which have no sense of life behind them. She shudders as he brings a small blade down and cuts her cheek, using a pipet he had in his other hand to extract some blood and place it on a glass slide.

"Why are you doing this?" She gasps, looking up at him helplessly as he stares back down at her, face devoid of any emotion.

He reaches down to the side table and grabs a handful of photos, flashing them to to the woman, who immediately shuts her eyes.

"Oh so now you're ashamed?" He asks, a few of his golden curls falling down in front of his eyes as he leans over her. "So you weren't ashamed when you killed these men?"

The woman tries shaking her head, only to be stopped by the plastic wrap. "I didn't do anything!" She yelps, tugging at the plastic binding her arms. Her attacker rolls his eyes, showing her the photos taken from the crime scene.

"Roy Beckett, Zach Mauzy, Carson Mckay, Sam Wyatt, you killed these men," he deadpans, flipping through each photo, causing the woman to wince, refusing to make eye contact with the man.

"You did this to them, you lured them in and killed them. You didn't care that they had families or that they had loved ones, you just took their lives away as if they were nothing."

A tear falls down the woman's cheek, mixing with the blood from her attacker's cut, causing a red trail to flow down onto the table. "Crying won't save you now, God knows it didn't save your victims."

The blonde reaches for the small table, ghosting his hand over his collection of weapons before settling for the large butcher's knife. The woman below lets out a deafening scream, only silenced by the wad of gauze being shoved inside her mouth.

"You won't get sympathy for me," he says plainly, playing with the blade in his hands. "I'm just like you, but I have standards."

Before the woman can process his words, the blonde violently jams the knife into her chest, a small, final gasp for air being forced out of her lungs as a pool of blood collects underneath the plastic wrap.

-

"Stanny!"

A young, brown-haired boy comes running full speed towards the blonde, his arms open wide, a toy truck still held in one hand.

Stanley gasps as he picks up the boy, swinging him around in a circle before settling him on his hip, holding him tight in his arms. "What did you bring me?"

Stan chuckles to himself. Alexander always wanted to know if there were presents.

"I brought you and your sister ice cream buddy!" He smiles, watching how the young boy's face lights up at the mention of his favorite treat. "Lia get in here, Stanny has ice cream!"

As if on cue, Alex's older sister Ophelia runs out of her room and straight into Stan, wrapping her small arms around his waist. She had come a long way since the first time they met, having shied away from her dad's new boyfriend, bad memories of the last one still etched into her memory.

"Alright kids, let's get you settled," Stan smiles, leading the two Denbrough children into the kitchen, settling them into seats at the kitchen counter before dishing up their ice cream. Chocolate with rainbow sprinkles for Ophelia and mint chocolate chip with chocolate sauce for Xander.

The blonde watches the kids for a few minutes, before excusing himself. He walks up the stairs, passing numerous family photos and pieces of art, before coming face to face with the master bedroom door, which was closed.

He knocks gently before peering inside, seeing his boyfriend of 6 months, Bill Denbrough, typing away at his computer.

He smiles to himself, noticing the way Bill pulls his bottom lip between his teeth as he edits his latest chapter, his reading glasses perched upon his nose.

The brunette continues typing as Stan sits down next to him, finishing his edits on the second to last paragraph on the page before briskly closing his laptop and shoving it out of the way.

It takes less than 3 seconds for Bill to crawl into Stan's lap, their lips crashing together gently, with Stan's large hands moving to grip his lover's hips.

The pair remain entangled for a few moments before pulling away, with Bill leaning to rest his head on one of Stan's broad shoulders.

"How way your day?"

He could tell him the truth.

How the day started with an officer giving him shit for not getting a blood analysis into him exactly when he wanted it. The feelings inside of him of how quickly he could slice the officer up and clean it up as if it never happened.

He could explain how annoyed he was when his adopted brother, and officer, Eddie wouldn't stop complaining about his hatred of working VICE, how he deserved to be on homicide, how unfair it was that he was stuck in VICE just because the lieutenant "has it out for him."

Or how difficult it was to wait for the perfect time to kill his latest victim. How weeks of waiting and observing had driven him crazy. How hard it was to clean up her place and dispose of her body into the Atlantic, having to sneak out onto his small boat around 3 am with 3 black garbage bags, making sure to dump them far enough out and away from people.

But he couldn't do that.

"It was okay, just a lot going on at work," he breathes out, bringing a hand to run his fingers through Bill's brown locks.

It wasn't necessarily a lie. The precinct had seen a jump in gang-related activity within Miami in the past few months, with officers feeling pressure from the Captain to find the connections between different cases.

This pressure had also been felt by Stan, as one of the best blood analysts within the state, he was called to almost every crime scene to help officers understand the type of people they were up against. It all seemed so simple to him, but having to explain how these criminals used certain techniques to the average detective just gave him headaches.

"Well I know something that could help you," Bill starts, lifting his head off Stan's shoulder so he can lock eyes with him. "The sitter should be here in a few minutes, that will give us some time for ourselves," he says, pressing a few kisses to Stan's neck, causing the blonde to tense up a bit at the sudden affection and attention he was receiving.

It's not that he didn't enjoy this, hell he really enjoys it, but something about possibly having sex with your boyfriend after you have just murdered someone is not really what Stan was looking forward to.

Bill feels the hesitance in Stan, using his fingers to tilt Stan's head so he can look into his eyes, having not have noticed how the blonde ceased eye contact moments prior.

"Sorry if that was too much," Bill stammers, "We don't have to if you don't want to."

Stan nods softly, flashing his boyfriend a small smile, bringing hands up to cup his face. "Thank you baby, I just feel a bit tired, is it okay if we just lay here and maybe watch a movie?"

Bill smiles back, a look of utter happiness in his eyes.

"I'd love that."

- 

Eddie was the one that introduced Stan to Bill.

Just about a year ago, Eddie was the responding officer on a domestic assault call. He remembers rushing to the scene, a small white house in a residential neighborhood just within city limits.

He remembers making his way inside, seeing a coffee table flipped over, its prior contents spilled across the carpet. Chairs were knocked over, items askew and out of place.

He followed the trail of blood upstairs, coming face to face with the man who did this.

Other officers rushed passed him to cuff the man as he shouted extremities, forcing multiple officers to have to drag him out of the house and down to the station.

Eddie remembers opening the master bedroom door, seeing a young man, his face bruised and bleeding, his lip split and eye starting to swell, holding a young boy to his chest. A young girl next to them clenches the phone in her hands. She's the one who called him here.

"Are you here to help my daddy?" The young boy asks, peeking his head out from his father's chest with watery eyes.

Eddie remembers nodding his head, promising no one would ever hurt them again.

Eddie learned the man's name was Bill, and that the man forcibly dragged out of his home was his husband, Jacob Mills.

The pair had been together for a few years, being there for Bill after his long-time girlfriend, and mother of his children walked out on him.

Jacob was there for Bill every step of the way, helping him to raise his two beautiful children, who reminded him of their mother every day. He loved and supported Bill, but over time they began to fight.

At first, it was over small things, like forgetting to sign Ophelia's permission slip, or not being able to make it to a date night. But over time things got worse.

Things started to become physical after Jacob started using.

It started with smoking. Bill didn't mind at first, hell he smoked in high school and college, but he always made sure Jacob didn't bring it around the kids. But then weed and cigarettes escalated to drinking.

There were nights where Bill wouldn't know where Jacob was, or when or if he would be returning home.

When he did return, it was bad.

The first time, Bill waited up that night for him. Around 3 am he stumbled in, slamming the door closed, only to be startled by Bill turning on the kitchen light.

Bill told him that this was unacceptable, how he and the kids were worried sick, but Jacob was too far gone. He just brushed past Bill, muttering something about going to bed, but Bill kept going, telling him that he was scared for him, how he never answered his messages, how he-

SMACK

Next thing he knows, he is on the ground, clutching his now red cheek, with Jacob walking right upstairs and plopping right into bed.

It didn't happen again for a few months.

Jacob always insisted afterward that he was sorry, and that he would never do it again.

But it just kept happening.

The night Eddie was dispatched to the scene was the night Bill decided enough was enough. Jacob was out at the bar with some friends, so he knew he had time. He planned on packing his and the kid's things and getting out of town, probably with his parents, while he filed for a divorce.

He was just finished packing Ophelia's toys when Jacob got home.

The next thing he knew he was on the bedroom floor, with Eddie leaning over him, promising that he would keep them safe.

Eddie kept good on his promise, helping Bill find the right resources and people who could help him, recommending a therapist that Bill could work with to figure out how to plan out his next moves.

Bill was eternally grateful to Eddie for saving them, insisting that if he didn't receive that dispatch, he wasn't sure where he would be right now. The kids got attached to Eddie quite quickly, finding his demeanor quite calming and his jokes hilarious.

Bill and Eddie from then on had standing "lunch dates" where Eddie would check in on him and the kids, making sure that they were okay and if they needed any help.

It was on one of these "dates" that Eddie introduced Bill to Stan.

Eddie's car was in the shop for repairs, repairs that he insisted he do himself much to Stan's dismay, which ended up making the problem worse. This led to Stan becoming his brother's taxi, driving them both to and from work, and any other place they had to go.

Eddie had mentioned that he was going to check up on one of his old victims and that he needed a ride.

Stan agreed, driving the two of them to the small white house. Eddie had insisted that it would only take a few minutes, but after 30 minutes, Stan was getting a little frustrated. He gave it another ten minutes before he got out of his car angrily, slamming the driver's side door shut loudly.

I should be out getting my next victim, not here just sitting out in the middle of some neighborhood. I could be halfway done by now, what the hell am I doing just waiting for-

Just then, the front door had opened and Stan's eyes widened. Before him stood the most gorgeous man he had ever laid eyes on, his smile bringing an unfamiliar sense of warmth and comfort over the blonde.

God, he could look at his smile all day.

Eddie chuckled from his spot on the couch with Ophelia and Alexander, the younger of the two playing with an airplane toy, dragging it along Eddie's arm, claiming that it was the best runway for the plane.

Conversation between the pair came naturally, even out of earshot Eddie could tell something was up there. He swears he had never seen his brother talk to someone that easily and eagerly before.

It was about a week later when Eddie set them up. He told both of them separately that he wanted to go to dinner, arranging a sitter for Bill, and promising Stan that he would do some of his paperwork for him.

But when both men arrived at the restaurant to see no Eddie, they weren't disappointed.

-

The sound of Stan's phone woke him up a few hours later.

The tv was still playing softly, a re-run of a Law and Order episode he and Bill had seen at least 10 times playing as he picks up his phone.

"Stan its Eddie, you have to get down to the 7 Seas Motel right now, you need to see this."

Stan lets out a sigh and assures Eddie he will be there soon before hanging up. He places his phone back down on the bedside table and looks down at Bill, who is currently nestled into his side. He hates to leave, but work calls.

He carefully maneuvers his body as to not disturb the sleeping brunette, pressing a gentle kiss against his forehead before making his way downstairs and out the front door.

It's about a 15-minute drive to the motel.

Stan fidgets with his fingers as he waits at a stoplight, his mind wandering to the previous night.

He watches silently as the blood begins to accumulate underneath the plastic, sighing in relief. The first blow was always the hardest.

He makes quick work with his buzzsaw, making sure to make as little of a mess as possible. Even though he covered the room in the plastic, he still wanted things to be somewhat neat, even down to the cuts he makes.

When he's done, he feels a sense of relief wash over his body, his work finally being done.

Once on the scene, Stan pulls a pair of rubber gloves on from his bag, showing an officer his official badge so he can gain access to the scene.

Several motel guests and onlookers wait behind the yellow tape, craning their necks to try and look at the crime scene.

Voyeurs. Stan thinks to himself, walking a few feet before seeing Eddie leaning up against the doorway of one of the motel rooms. He's dressed in a pair of short, red athletic shorts, just like the ones he would wear when they were kids. 

He wears no top, which could be blamed on the Florida heat, or the fact that he's trying to fit in with the hookers he is working alongside with as an undercover. 

"It's one of the girls who works here," Eddie rushes out, pulling Stan into the small room. "I was asking around about her when some other girls noticed she was missing, but then she turned back up."

Stan notices the pain in his brother's voice. Working VICE is hard, you form connections with those around you, even if you aren't telling them who you really are.

"What sick son of a bitch gets off on cutting up people into pieces like this?"

If only he knew.

Stan shakes his head, promising to talk to Eddie later and telling him to stay safe before walking over to the taped off area around the pool.

A few officers are already in the drained pool, a few taking photographs of what sits at the end of the deep end. He makes his way down the stairs and over towards the end, seeing Richie and Ben already on scene.

"How's your brother doing Stan? Fitting in well with the other whores?" Richie teases, a small smirk pulling at his lips.

It's no secret that Richie has some sort of infatuation with Eddie. Whenever the smaller detective is brought up, Richie cannot help himself from cracking jokes or making remarks about getting with him. It mostly just annoys Stan, but Eddie knows how to stand his ground, but Stan swears sometimes Eddie blushes when Richie talks about him.

In this instance Stan ignores him, moving past the two detectives, feeling his blood run cold when he sees what the detectives have been looking at.

Lying before him is the body of the woman Eddie had mentioned, sectioned into several pieces across the tiled pool floor. But what shocks Stan is the lack of blood. No blood to be exact.

"We think the guy drained her blood before dumping her here," Ben says, "But what he did or is doing with the blood is what's throwing us for a loop."

Stan bends down to get a better look at the body. "These cuts are very precise," he states, "whoever did this has some sort of medical training or expertise to understand how to get clean cuts like this, with no hesitation marks."

Ben nods, taking a few notes on what Stan said before patting him on the back. "You can go since there's no blood we don't need you here."

Stan nods, standing back up and turning toward the black-haired forensic science investigator. "Let me know if you find anything Rich."

Richie nods, making a mental note to check by Eddie's room as Stan walks away.

Stan decides to head back to the station, where he can get a jump on finding his next target. He heads back under the crime tape and over towards his car when his phone starts ringing.

He pauses for a moment to look at the caller ID before picking up.

"Miss me already Denbrough?" He asks with a smile, getting into his car and placing his keys in and starting the engine.

"Stan you need to come here right now, the prison called, they let Jacob out due to overcrowding and he's here right now."

Stan doesn't miss the sense of panic in Bill's voice, and he speeds off before he can get a word out.

Looks like his next target already found him.

[hawkinstrashmouth-blog]

The Roasted Bean Coffee Shop (Reddie ch. 1)

Description: If IT never existed in Derry. Eddie is in his senior year and openly gay. Excited to leave Derry because of the homophobes and his mother. Eddie runs into a long lost friend, Richie Tozier and Richie just so happens to take an interest in the smaller boy once again. 

A/N: Constructive criticism is very appreciated, but please no rude comments. I am very new to this. Let me know if you want to be added in the tag list! Thanks! :)

Disclaimers: MENTIONS OF ABUSE AND LATER ON WILL BE NSFW (NOTHING TOO INTENSE YET OOF)

Aged up to 17/18 – senior year

Word count: 1,328 (Kind of a short first chapter but they will get longer and hopefully more interesting :/ )

 Parts: 1/?

Tag list:  @get-fcking-reddie  LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED IN THE TAG LIST WHEN I POST!!!!

CHAPTER 1 YEET

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Have you ever wanted to run away? Ever wanted to pack up all your shit and run far away from everyone and everything? Away from the hurt and the trouble. All your problems. Eddie desperately wanted to leave. As far as he was concerned, this town was cursed. From the homophobes in the town that hated Eddie for his sexual identification, to his own mother who constantly was breathing down his back and telling him to take his pills.

His fake pills. He knew they were fake, but he had been so attached to the pills from the constant fear of disease. He could survive without them, he knew that his phobia was irrational, but nonetheless that didn’t help his mind change course. He despised the town and the people in it. Just one more year, one more year of absolute hell, then he could run far away from all that hurt that this town had caused him.

Grabbing his black back pack off his wooden floor, Eddie ran down the stairs. Reaching for the doorknob, there was a voice behind him. He was foolish to think he could possibly scurry away that quickly from his mother. A complete and udder fool to think it would be that easy.

 “Eddie! You better not be leaving without saying goodbye to your dear mother!” His large mother said from the kitchen. She was a plump woman in her forties who treated Eddie like a child. Like he was incapable of tying his own shoes, chewing his own food. And even, breathing his own air.

“Sorry mommy, I just forgot.” He lied directly to his delirious, bulky mother’s face. He huffed out a large breath knowing that the crazy lady wouldn’t let him leave without the everyday, endless kiss on the cheek. It’s not that he didn’t love his mother because, he did. Of course he did. But, she was piece of work, she probably thought the same of him. 

Dragging his feet along the floor, the boy smooches a big, fat wet kiss on her cheek. He could feel the cheap pink blush that was coated on her face and well, now on his lips. The germaphobe could only think about how the hell he was gonna get this off his lips without offending his mom’s poor feelings.

 Retracting as fast as possible, Eddie says a quick goodbye once again and makes his way out the door. After closing it, he tries to breathe. A huff that he had no idea was stuck in his throat was finally released. Being in his town made him feel like he was constantly suffocating and dying. A slow and agonizing death.

Eddie began dragging his feet along the side walk to school. Luckily, he only lived a short 10-minute walk from and to Derry High school. There was just one stop before school, as always. When he was younger, he used to ride his bike everywhere. Up until last year when his mother decided that it was too threatening and unsafe for a boy like him. At the rate, she was taking things from him for being ‘unsafe’, he eventually won’t even be able leave the house at all. Sometimes he thinks about just defying his mother entirely. All hell would probably break loose.

Getting bored, he began counting the number of steps he took and he lugged himself along. It was still warm outside, summer just ending. Too bad, it going to get cold. Though Eddie hated the bitter weather, always tugging and biting at him as he walked, he hated summer. Not for the weather, but rather the loneliness.

Since Eddie had come out as gay right before high school, in the eighth grade, not many people talked to him. He had his couple of friends Bill, Stan, and Mike. They were really excepting for him. They weren’t around much though; Bill and Stan were always off doing something. Most of the time they talked was at school where they were safe and away from Eddie’s frightening mom. But Mike was a home schooled kid. They got along well because Mike got made fun of for that and well, his skin color.

But, they rarely ever got to hang out anymore. As he pondered, Eddie made a turn in the opposite direction of the school. Coming to the coffee shop everyday of high school, well everyday he wasn’t in the hospital for some god-forbidding disease his mother thought he had. Seeing the small Roasted Bean sign in bold black letters he swerved to the door. He pulled open the warm metal handle and slid in.

 This was Eddie’s favorite place, he felt as though he could escape from his life here. Not many of people came to this little place. It was just down the road from the school. You would think most students would come here in the mornings, but no. This place wasn’t cool enough for the annoying high schoolers.

Every morning the short boy would tell his mom that he was going to a early morning study session but rather, he was just coming to this old place and sitting alone in a booth. Usually just looking out the window and drinking his coffee silently. The only part that he thought was enjoyable about Derry. The silence.

He took in a long inhale of grounded coffee beans and instantly felt relaxed. Coffee was Eddie’s favorite drink. It was one of the first things you would learn about him. Well, that is if they ever take the time to get to know him. Most don’t. They see him as a queer, asthmatic freak. They look at him and heavily judge who he is as a person. Thank god he met Bill and Stan when they were younger, they were so innocent and thought nothing much of him. Just wanted to make some friends.

 That’s how the people in Derry are, judgmental. Eddie always supposed it was because they felt invalid as people and so they take it out on the odd one out. Who just so happened to be Eddie. Fulfilling his morning ritual, he walked up to the counter to get the same drink he always does. A black coffee. His mom doesn’t let him drink coffee, says it’s bad from him. But something was off, something was not like normal.

The barista wasn’t the normal lady with the dark brown hair and bright blue eyes in her forties who usually took his order and didn’t say much. The lady with the dark bags that plainly didn’t care what he had to say because I was too early to care. He could recognize that face from a mile away though. The dark chocolate curls the hung low on his face and the freckles that reminded him of a galaxy of stars. Oh, and let’s not forget the thick glasses that shielded this pretty eyes that were full of light.

Richie Tozier? Trash mouth? He and the boy in the apron at the register used to be the best of friends. They were closer than most. They would share secrets and would sneak into each room’s every single night. But all the shared secrets and midnight talks stopped when Richie’s parents became more and more abusive. But, to top it all off, Eddie was gay. Richie’s parents didn’t like that very much at all.

It’s not that Richie had ever said that was one of the reasons but, it didn’t need to be said. The two drifted apart and now they seemed to being lived on different planets. They could see each other but, they never spoke. Just glances in halls and small one word exchanges if only absolutely nessesary. Eddie had almost forgot about the annoying boy who made him realize his sexuality.

Oh yes, the pain and agonizing truth. Eddie had always had a thing for the trash mouth growing up. His gross ‘your mom’ jokes and such. Snapping out of his trance of shock and confusion, Eddie walked to the counter. Richie looked equally confused and distraught by seeing the boy in the coffee shop.

It threw them off like a broken roller coaster that went off it’s tracks.

“So what can I get you, good looking?” The annoying boy said in a British accent wiggling his eyebrows in almost a mocking manner. Oh boy.

[chuckaliclous]

Awkward//Reddie

CH 4

CH 1 CH 2 CH 3

Tag list: @eddie-kaspjack @plsshutuprichie @eggosoutfor011 @t-rash-m-outh @strangerthoughts @stenbroughreddie @greywatertrashmouth @second-fannypack

okay folks this is the angsty chapter and i would say im sorry but im just not here we go fellas

Chapter Four: Unfaithful

Richie sat in his living room, gazing out the window at the melting snow on the sidewalk that he would have to shovel later for the buck his dad had promised him. He sighed, returning his attention to his homework on his lap, only wishing Eddie was here to play with his hair as he did the work.

A small crash on the front lawn startled Richie back to reality and he snapped his head up to look out the window, only to see the one and only Stanley Uris throwing his bike down and running to the door. Confused, he went to answer the rapping at the door from his best friend. He flung the door open to discover Stan’s face red and blotchy, tear tracks stained on his cheeks.

“Stan?” Richie questioned. It wasn’t odd for Stan to show up at the Tozier household, but he usually calls first, letting Richie know that he’d be there in exactly seven minutes, as always. And he never left his bike on the grass like that, he always has to use the kickstand or his OCD goes crazy.

“C-Can I come in?” He pleaded. He resembled a sad puppy dog that desperately needed attention at the moment. Richie nodded and Stan threw himself on the couch, trying so hard to hold back tears they both knew were coming.

Richie awkwardly took a seat by him and placed his hand on Stan’s back. “What’s going on, Stan?” He asked, concern lining his face as he looked Stan in the eyes. Richie wasn’t the best with friendly affection in times like these; he only knew how to be with Eddie in his vulnerable times. Even if Stan was his best friend, he’d never seen his guard let down his guard this much. “Oh c’mon now, Stanny boy you can’t start crying or we’ll both be crying.” He smiled lightly, trying to make Stan reciprocate but getting nothing.

“Bowers…” He breathed, then began to cry again.

Richie jumped up, prepared to grab the first aid kit Eddie kept here. Not that he’d know what to do with it, but he could always try. “Shit. Are you hurt?” Stan shook his head and Richie sat back down, trying his best to comfort him. “What happened?” He asked in the most soothing and sympathetic voice Trashmouth Tozier could possibly choke out.

Stan took in a deep watery breath. “He called me a queer… and a fag. And told me I deserved to die like Adrian Mellon.”

“Mellon?” He asked.

“You know… the gay guy that got murdered.”

Richie gulped. “I’m sorry, Stan… but I mean, you’re obviously not, right?” He chuckled a little at the thought, before turning to see Stan’s completely stoic face. Richie wiped the smile off his own face very quickly. “Stan…, w-why didn’t you tell us?” Richie was completely shell-shocked. His own best friend couldn’t say what Richie hadn’t even had to to the Losers. Richie just showed up holding Eddie’s hand one day and never let go, telling anyone who had a problem with it to suck his dick.

“I don’t know,” He confessed, looking down at his hands. “I… was afraid.”

Richie laughed out loud without meaning to. “Stanley, do you even know how gay Eddie and I are? C’mon now. The only problem we’d have is competing to out-gay each other.”

Stan let out a small giggle under his breath, a rarity for whenever Richie made a joke around him. “You know what? You’re not so bad, Tozier.”

Richie felt a pang of anxiousness and guilt in his chest as he realized he was smiling at Stan the way he smiled at Eddie. He quickly  shoved the thought away. “You aren’t so bad yourself, Stanley Urine.” He found himself saying, causing the boys to crack up.

Stan looked up at Richie with huge blue eyes, not expressing sadness anymore. No, it was something more… something Richie was used to seeing in Eddie’s big brown eyes. But Richie wasn’t thinking about Eddie.

In one swift motion, Richie swooped in and his lips were suddenly on Stanley’s. Stan’s heart was beating out of his chest as his lips collided with Richie’s over and over again. Richie felt a wave of guilt overcome him, only to be replaced by excitement. He knew how Eddie’s lips tasted, how his body wriggled beneath him, how his gasps and moans would sound in his ear. But he didn’t know any of this about Stan. He’d never imagined it before, but now he kind of wished he had.

They were horizontal on the living room couch, Richie on top of Stan, Stan’s fingers running wildly through Richie’s knotted hair. Richie didn’t care if he left hickeys on Stan’s ivory neck; it was just begging to be stained by Richie’s chapped lips. Wait, what am I doing? Richie thought urgently, remembering the boy at home, probably puffing on his aspirator and waiting for Richie to call anxiously.

He broke away from Stan and tore himself off of him, standing up. “Holy fuck! This is bad. This is really bad. We did not just fucking do that shit!” Richie started pacing, his thoughts racing and not slowing down anytime soon.

Stan stood up and put his arms around Richie, causing him to recoil at Stanley’s gentle touch. “Hey,” He said softly. “It’s okay.”

Richie looked him in the eyes, as if for confirmation that he wasn’t the world’s biggest asshole at the moment. Somehow, against all the goddamn odds, he found it in Stan’s eyes.

“What Eddie doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

So this continued. For days. For weeks. For months on end. Richie would ditch Eddie at study hall for Stan, finding an empty classroom where he could leave even more hickeys on his neck, which none of the Losers suspected the culprit to even be a boy, let alone Richie. They didn’t ask many questions, they just laughed about it once in a while when a new hickey would appear, which was often.

“We can’t keep doing this,” Richie would breathe between kisses.

“Then why do your lips keep finding their way back to mine?” Stan would smirk back, causing them to lunge into even more hungry kisses.

Richie caught himself smiling between kisses. He never did that with Eddie anymore. Yes, he loved Eddie. He loved Eddie more than anything, that was true. But there was something about Stanley that Richie just couldn’t resist.

He loved it. He loved the rush of almost getting caught, the small flutter in his heart when the Losers mentioned to Stan whoever she was was a lucky girl, or when Eddie asked where Richie had been and Richie makes up some story and Eddie looks as if he almost doesn’t believe him. Richie loved the excitement.

Eddie had noticed something was… off. Something was wrong with his boyfriend, but he couldn’t tell you exactly what it was. Eddie noticed how he stopped meeting him behind the gym during study hall, and how he gave Stan a ride home after school instead of smoking with Beverly after he drove Eddie home. Which was fine, Eddie knew Richie had his own life and was allowed to have friends, and Eddie thought it was great that him and Stan were keeping up their best friendship status. That is, until he knew the truth.

It was a cool April day in Derry, and Richie drove Eddie home today, which made Eddie very happy since it was a seldom occurrence nowadays. Beverly was doing homework in the library with Ben so Richie wasn’t going to smoke today, which made Eddie even happier. All he cared about was making sure Richie was happy and healthy; which made Richie feel like even more of a jackass.

“I’ll call you when I’m done with homework, okay baby?” Richie smiled sweetly, kissing Eddie on the cheek tenderly as Eddie grabbed his things and opened the door to get out of the beaten up car.

“Okay.” Eddie smiled brightly at his boyfriend, the butterflies in his stomach still raging as always when Richie did so much as to touch him.

Richie drove the rest of the way home with a guilty conscience, in complete silence. No, he was not going to do homework. Instead, he was gonna do a little Jewish boy and lie to his boyfriend who loved no one but him. Richie hated himself. But he couldn’t help himself, either.

“Richie!” Stan waved from the lawn, his bike propped up beside him on the grass.

A smile spread across Richie’s face as he turned the car off and ran to embrace Stanley. “C’mon, let’s go inside.”

They plopped down on the couch, their usual place, and began doing what they always do. Stan’s body was on Richie’s, the body heat making sweat drip down Richie’s shoulders. Stan used to think it was gross, but oddly enough, he liked the smell of it. Only when it came from Richie though. But it wasn’t like he’d ever had that with anyone else.

Stan thought maybe he might be in love with Richie Tozier. Which made him anxious. Stanley struggled with anxiety his entire life, as well as depression that popped up when he was about 13, and decided to stay. He didn’t talk about it, but everyone knew about it. Just like everyone knew Eddie was gay before he even hinted at it, or how Beverly was a child of abuse, or even Richie and his parent issues. Stan always wanted to feel wanted, and needed, and loved. Stanley Uris always wanted to belong to someone, and have them kiss away the pain and whisper that it was all gonna be okay.

Meet me in the middle of the day, let me hear you say everything’s okay. Bring me southern kisses from your room. Meet me in the middle of the night, let me hear you say everything’s alright. Let me smell the moon on your perfume… The song echoed in Stan’s head as he felt the other boy’s lips give him confirmation that Stanley was capable of feeling happiness, which he hadn’t previously believed for a long time.

I can and I will be happy, He thought. With Richie.

But no, he couldn’t. Of course not. Because Richie was in love with Eddie, everyone could see how in love they always had been, even before they could see it themselves. Stan was hopelessly falling for Richie, and he knew he couldn’t have him. This isn’t a movie, Stanley. No matter how this ends, it’s gonna be bad. Probably for you.

Eddie thought it was a little weird that Richie didn’t want to do homework together like they always did. He seemed to want to be alone a lot lately, if he wasn’t with Stan. He was worried. Maybe his dad had said something that got to him, or maybe his suicidal thoughts had come back, or maybe he was hurting himself again, or maybe-

“Maybe I’ll just give him a call,” He whispered to himself and the empty kitchen, picking up the phone and dialing the Tozier household.

The ringing of the phone interrupted Stan and Richie, and Stan pulled away for a brief moment. “Let it ring,” Richie whispered seductively, grabbing Stan’s face eagerly and yanking it down to kiss him once more.

Eddie waited until he couldn’t just let it go on anymore and sighed to himself. Worrying was what Eddie Kaspbrak did best, and of course he was worried about Richie. He decided to pack up his school bag and head over to Richie’s anyway, maybe he’d be able to study with him a little.

Richie and Stan continued on the couch, unbothered. Richie had torn Stan’s shirt off, a little too eagerly, Stan thought, and Richie was down to his boxers. They didn’t think twice about Stan’s bike plainly left on the front lawn, nor about the door being unlocked. Until Eddie walked in.

“R-Richie? Stan?” Eddie’s incredulous voice rose from the silence.

The boys broke apart instantaneously, Stan shooting up so fast it made his head spin. Richie ran up to Eddie, who backed away from him. “Eddie! It’s not-”

“Not what it looks like?” Eddie finished for him. Hot tears welled up in his eyes now and threatened to stream down his face. “Of course it’s what it fucking looks like! Of course it is, Richie!” He turned to Stan, mortified. “And you, Stan? I thought we were friends!”

“We are friends, Eddie!” Stan’s voice cracked as he rushed to put his shirt back on.

“No! Friends don’t fucking do this to each other!” He finally broke, falling to the floor on his knees and covering his face in his hands as he sobbed. “How long?” He spat out in a defeated voice.

“What?” Richie whimpered, tears rolling down his face as well.

“How fucking long, Richie? How long have you been fucking him?” Eddie screamed, his face turning redder by the second.

The two boys stayed silent as Eddie wept. There was nothing to say. They all knew the unspoken answer, clear as day. Eddie just had never dreamed that’s what they spent all their time together doing. Because Richie would never hurt him; no, not his Richie.

“I don’t even know who you are, anymore.” Eddie regained his breath solidly and stood up, pointing an angry finger at Richie. “You’re not the fucking person I fell in love with. Not even fucking close.”

Richie gulped audibly, trying to come up with anything to say. All Richie knew was that now was not a time for jokes. “I-I’m sor-” He started, his voice cracking.

“You’re sorry?” Eddie huffed. “Sorry? You just broke my fucking heart, Richie! Just fucking smashed it to pieces!” Eddie began to cry again, and Richie inched closer to put his arm around him.

Eddie smacked his arm away. “No!” He shrieked, tears overflowing his tear ducts and dropping generously to the floor. “Do not fucking touch me!”

“But Eddie, I love you!” Richie shouted, lunging forward to pull Eddie into a hug.

Eddie then did the very thing he swore he’d never do. He slapped Richie Tozier straight across the face, and the three gasped as they heard the sickening smack that echoed throughout the empty house. Richie clutched his now burning red cheek with his hand, and Eddie leaned down to whisper, “Yeah, I used to love you too, Trashmouth.”

With that, Eddie was gone.

[rachaelwatchestv]

Baywatch - Season 1 Episode 1 Panic at Malibu Pier

My mom was obsessed with this show when I was a kid (for reference, I’m about to be 25), and the “remastered version” just appeared on Hulu so why not see what the fuss is all about. I’m gonna put a read more line here, so anyone who comes across this post but doesn’t want to scroll down through what could be miles of me talking doesn’t have to.

DISCLAIMER: There are a few things in this episode that some people might find triggering, there’s a character who is extremely mentally ill, has delusions, and is mentioned harming herself.  If you might find that upsetting, please do not continue on with reading about this episode.

So this is the “Pilot”? And it’s a whopping 95 minutes long so I guess we should just get right into it.

Okay I know this show was like an 80′s/90′s show but already the swimsuits have me dying...so 80′s lmao.

I already cannot get over how young David Hasselhoff looks.

The theme song is literally just beautiful people running on the beach.  I knew that was the premise of the show but I didn’t expect it to start right away

So we start with David Hasselhoff (whose name is Mitch, apparently) in a kayak  water ski boat thing with a kid (who is his son), racing another one of the lifeguards from the theme song.  Mitch and the kid win, and the lady lifeguard (Jill) accuses him of gaining weight.

So Hobie, Mitch’s son asks if it’s okay to rub sunscreen on a girl’s back and admits that he said no because he thought it would be too embarrassing.  To which Mitch (HA) tells him that under no circumstances should he ever say no to rubbing sunscreen on a girl’s back. This conversation has extremely creepy undertones.

This is Craig.  He’s a lifeguard and a lawyer and he’s decided to skip out on his lawyer job because the weather is just so nice that he has to go to the beach.  He also drives a corvette.  I want his life.

Rookie Shawnie came in 46th in her class, Rookie Eddie came in number 1.  Shawnie clearly has a crush on Eddie and clearly doesn’t take her job too seriously.  More trouble to come I assume.

Craig gets to the lifeguard headquarters right as Hobie is arguing with Mitch about having to go live with his mom.  He has to go to summer school and she thinks it will be too distracting to live so close to the beach with his dad.  I don't think she's wrong on that count.  It also seems like there might still be some feelings between Mitch and his ex-wife.

Craig meets up with an older lifeguard, Al, and says that he found a loophole in the mandatory retirement age so he won't have to retire.  Craig then gets his truck stuck under the pier as the tide is coming in.  Rookie mistake.  It’s lucky that he was there though (for the plot), because a girl was stupidly trying to balance on the Pier’s railing and she fell off.  Imagine that.

Craig saves her and gives her mouth to mouth.  She very creepily strokes his hair.  Later, someone at the lifeguard tower gives her Craig’s sweatshirt to keep her warm.  Seems like a bad idea to me...a later conversation between the two shows that she’s clearly into him.  Also we find out her name is Lori.

Mitch got promoted to lieutenant and everyone makes fun of his new uniform, yet they’re throwing him A GALA to celebrate.  Not a party...a GALA!! Seems a little excessive to me but what do I know? Also Craig and Mitch are BFFs for life and no one will convince me otherwise.

Back to the Rookies, Eddie gets assigned to tower 27 but Shawnie wants it because that’s where all of her friends hang out.  Mitch assigns Shawnie to a boat with Jill, but not until she changes swimsuits because what she’s wearing is not practical at all.  It really just seems like a way to make her character look stupider, and to give gratuitous near nudity to all the male viewers.  I guess in the 80′s this was viewed as a win-win for TV, but nowadays it just hits very differently.

Lori sneaks through Craig’s bag and grabs his key to the lifeguard tower before she's sent home.  

And we have our first lifeguard montage!  This one's not nearly as bad as I'm sure they're going to get.  Just a lot of random shots of lifeguards doing lifeguard things while an uplifting song plays in the background.  Also everyone on this beach (even the tourists) seem to have a perfect body...just feels unrealistic. 

Now we're introduced to Captain Thorpe who isn't sure that Mitch is the right person to be lieutenant.  He also seems skeptical of Shawnie and Al. And he forces Mitch to wear his dress shoes...the horror!

While Jill is complaining to Mitch about Shawnie, an Australian lifeguard from a private beach named Trevor climbs up the flagpole and into Mitch's office. His business card reads "shark fighter and virgin converter" and that's really all you need to know about him.

Lori surprises Craig with a visit on the beach, and is upset when she sees him with a girl who needs help (Yeah girl, you're not special).   Foreboding music plays as she watches him fix the other woman's toe. She then gets real freaky and keys the other woman's car.

Eddie gives us his backstory by telling a six year old kid that he was in foster care growing up.  Dude, that kid probably doesn't even know what foster care is.

A bunch of people are caught in a riptide and all the lifeguards jump in.  Shawnie freezes when a little girl stops breathing and needs CPR.  Trevor passes two drowning people to save the pretty girl who was drowning at the same time even though Mitch was much closer to her.  This, of course, is a problem between them.

Hobie UNHOOKS A GIRLS BIKINI STRAP and goes to put suntan oil on her back, but some kid swoops in and does it instead.  These kids are 13, and honestly the children actors look even younger...something seems so wrong with this story line.

Mitch and his ex get in an argument about custody because his ex wants Hobie to live with her so he doesn't grow up only wanting to be a lifeguard.  She wants him to have options.

Meanwhile, Lori the crazy girl (Whose name is shown to actually be spelled as Laurie) shows up in Craig’s tower at the end of the day with wine and in just a silk robe.

He very nicely gets her to leave the tower and tells her that he has a wife, Gina.  Laurie tries to kiss him and reveals that she's naked under the robe (Gasp!) right as another lifeguard drives up and sees.  Laurie runs off before he can say anything else.

Shawnie's in the shower crying over freezing earlier that day.  Jill comforts her and reminds her that the job isn't "all fun in the sun".

Captain Thorpe comes back and insists that Al be put on desk duty until mandatory retirement.  Mitch goes to talk to Al and finds him painting on his back porch.  Damn this guy can paint!!

But also how does a man on a lifeguard’s salary afford a massive oceanfront house like that?  

Anyways, Al offers to talk to Gail (Hobie's mom) about the custody arrangement and take Hobie out for a fishing trip.  He also declines Mitch's offer of a desk job.

It's time for Mitch's gala...which is more of a simple party at a really nice house.  No idea why they were calling it a gala in the first place.  But they also have a live girl group playing?  And Shawnie is dressed up like Madonna while Eddie swims laps in the pool AT THE PARTY?  This is the most confusing party I've ever seen.

Laurie shows up to the party (big shocker there) and creeps on Craig's wife, Gina in the bathroom.  She tells Gina that a lifeguard saved her life, kissed her, and then they "made love right there in the tower" Lovely Gina offers to help her find the lifeguard at the party and is stunned when Laurie points out Craig in the crowd.

Gina kindly but sternly points out that Craig is her husband, then Laurie causes a scene, shouting that she didn't know he had a wife and he's embarrassing her in front of the whole party.  The lifeguard from earlier that saw her naked basically confirms her story by staying silent when asked, and Gina storms out of party with Craig running after her.

At home, Gina is very obviously upset while Craig tries to insist that nothing happened.  Crazy Laurie calls the house and tells Craig to meet her at the tower or she'll kill herself. Gina tells Craig to call the police and not do it himself, but Craig insists.  Gina decides to tag along to try to help.

At the life guard tower, they find Laurie in the corner crying not to take her back to her parents.  She has bruises on her neck and tells Craig and Laurie that it was her father.  Craig decides to take her back to their house (bad move).

At home, Craig and Gina talk and Craig decides to go to Laurie's house tomorrow to talk to the parents before he calls CPS.  They kiss in their bed and surprise, surprise, the camera pans to reveal Laurie watching them

In the morning, Laurie goes through Craig's bag and finds a diving knife. She goes to the beach and practices her stabbing motions while having flashbacks to Craig and Gina's relationship.

Craig meets with her parents and is surprised to find that Laurie's father died ten years ago.  Her mom explains that Laurie gets violent and hurts herself and just got home from the psych ward at the hospital.  

Back at the house, Laurie sneaks up on Gina who by the way is an actual saint.  Like Gina treats Laurie so nicely and sweet and doesn't even care that Laurie stole her shirt, she just goes, "It's fine, it looks pretty on you." Laurie's craziness could not have happened to a nicer person.  Laurie convinces Gina to drive her back to the beach so she can release a letter she wrote Craig into the ocean and release all of her feelings towards him.

Laurie tries to get Gina to go into a super creepy place under the pier, to which Gina wisely says "No thanks." So Laurie runs in on her own and Gina chases after her out of the goodness of her heart.

Craig comes home to find the house empty and quickly drives to the beach to try to find them.

Gina catches up with Laurie who tricks her to get her to turn her back and pulls out a knife.  Gina realizes that the letter Laurie wrote is a fake suicide note to make it look like Gina killed herself.  Laurie tries to slit her wrist but Gina is able to pull away and throw sand in Laurie's eyes so she can escape. She runs, calling for help as Craig pulls into the parking lot and sees her car.  He hears her cries for help and finds her right before Laurie catches up.

Craig manages to talk Laurie out of killing his wife for a minute, but then she sees his wedding ring and freaks out again. Craig is able to grab the knife through the fence and stop the whole thing.

While the drama at the pier is gong on, Al and Hobie are out on a boat for their fishing trip.  Al overhears a woman remarking on how he’s too old to be a lifeguard. A crew member goes down into the cabin to cook Hobie's fish for lunch, but accidentally causes an explosion while changing out a propane tank. Luckily the whole boat doesn't blow up, but a massive fire breaks out and Hobie falls through the floorboards into the hull of the ship while Al shouts at everyone to jump off.

Back at Baywatch headquarters, the team assembles to go help, and they all know that Hobie and Al might be on the boat.  Al is shown in the water telling everyone not to panic and helping everyone grab onto floating pieces of wood.  Mitch, Jill, Shawnie and Eddie are all parts of the rescue team.

Mitch gets to Al but they don't know where Hobie is.  They find him in an air pocket in part of the boat that is now completely submerged.

Al and Mitch work together to get everyone out of the boat safely, but Al gets stuck on some rope on his way out.  Mitch finds him but it's too late, he has drowned and they are unable to revive him.  I don't know why, because we got very little screen time of him, but Al's death actually made me sad.

They hold a lifeguard funeral for Al which involves a bunch of trucks driving on the beach, and some boats lined up in the water.  Mitch gives a very touching eulogy about all the lives that Al saved over the years and how they'll never forget him.  

The episode ends with a montage of the lifeguards working the beach presumably the next day with an overarching feeling of "life goes on". No word on what happened to Laurie, but Gina and Craig are still happily married so I guess all's well that ends well.

[tigermaskdan]

Survivor Series Predictions and thought on nXt WarGames!

Prediction time!  I’ve never actually done one of these.  Usually I just write about what I think sucks or some other hot button issue, and man have dem buttons been SPICY lately.  We go titles changing left and right.  People going down sick, people getting fired and old folks getting a sixth or seventh run at glory! However, it would be remiss of me if I did not discuss the end of all our suffering.

I know I’m being a bit dramatic about this, but I had begun to view Jinder’s title reign as something of a wrestling equivalent to the Trump Presidency.  It was shitty, and embarrassment and no matter what I did I was helpless to improve the situation.  Then finally, FINALLY, they pulled the trigger and A.J. was able to swoop in and instantly make the title feel important again.  It was hard not to just feel happy about the whole situation.

I would also be remiss not to mention the return of WARGAMES this weekend.   Here’s the thing, back when I was getting deep into wrestling.  Like DEEP.  Like, using Kazaa to download random matches with names I recognized, and learning about Japanese guys like Jushin Thunder Liger and Tiger Mask for the first time deep. That is how I saw my first Wargames match.  It was a good one!  The best one most people say, between Sting’s Squadron and the Dangerous Alliance.

I remember being surprised at how visceral the match was.  It really wasn’t a super complicated match; there weren’t a ton of moves.  It was one guy after the other running in and beating the shit out of the people that were already there.  You started mostly keeping track of how long it took the next guy in to get bloody.  It had that classic NWA bloodbath feel to it.  The match ended on an armbar of all things.  This was about the time that the Canadian Destroyer was coming into prominence, so it was weird to see someone go down after getting hit in the arm with a foreign object and then just getting the arm cranked till you quit.  For pro-wrestling, it was one of the more realistic displays of simulated combat that I had ever seen up to that point.

That is what makes me worried about nXt’s foray into Wargames territory.  They can’t bleed, there are three teams, and (probably the worst part actually) you can win by pinfall.  Much like contemporary Hell in a Cells, this match seems like it’s going to be decidedly less brutal than those of old.  I don’t want to be the guy that shits on the PG product, but certain matches need blood, and these big, hellacious cage bouts are those.  Even great matches like Usos vs New Day at last month’s HIAC seem a bit tame compared to Batista getting nailed with a barbed-wire wrapped chair by a blood soaked Triple H.  I don’t know if it’s going to work.  That said, there are a lot of talented vets in there, and a few HOSS destroyers, so we’ll see.

Now, moving on.  Survivor Series.  The bastard step-child of the big 4.  The ONLY TIME OF THE YEAR RAW AND SMACKDOWN FACE EACHOTHER!  Except Royal Rumble and also all those other times and when we need someone to cover for injury and whenever John Cena wants to fight someone.  BUT OTHER THAN THAT.  Seriously though, last year’s Survivor Series was one of the most fun hours in wrestling.  It was a long match with tons of story and great action.  Can this year’s match get to that height again?  Let’s run down.

Cruiserweight Champion Enzo Amore vs Kalisto – Winner: Enzo Amore I really like Kalisto.  I think he’s incredibly talented in the ring, plus he’s a Chicago guy, so I’m generally predisposed towards him.  That said, he’s pretty much the worst on the mic.  Don’t get me wrong, Rey was not exactly Stone Cold either, but he managed to string together some solid babyface promos in his day.  Enzo’s annoying, and not the best worker, but I’ll say this, he doesn’t make me want to turn the channel, and that makes him an effective heel.  Plus you have Cedric Alexander, Rich Swann, TJP, Mustafa Ali, Tozawa and others ready to go as viable babyface challengers, and plenty of heels like Kendrick or Galagher for Kalisto to work on.  Unless they plan on stringing this feud along, I’m gonna guess that this is gonna end in a pretty decisive victory for Enzo.

Intercontinental Champion the Miz vs United States Champion Baron Corbin – Winner: Miz Everywhere I read people are telling me about Baron Corbin’s great potential and look.  Here’s the thing, I don’t fucking see it.  I just don’t.  Aside from two bomb-ass moves what else does he have?  His indie-killer gimmick back in nXt was pretty cool, but the thing is, he hasn’t shown he’s good enough to throw any solid wins his way.  As for his “great look,” he looks like the human embodiment of the graphic tee section at Walmart.  His hair is terrible.  He doesn’t look particularly imposing past his height.

And the thing that sucks the most about him is that he’s one of those dicks that would read that critique and just go, “but what can YOU do in the ring, pussy!”  Nothing.  I can do nothing. I’ve never claimed I could do anything.  I am a mark. It is not my job to be a professional wrestler. Comparing yourself to me accomplishes nothing and makes you look like a douchebag. It is your job to entertain me in some fashion, whether it be you make me hate you or love you.  Right now, your matches are what I skip past to save time.

Miz on the other hand has basically be Edge for the past two years, and has been great.  His Twitter owning of Corbin in this feud has been phenomenal.  If there is any justice in the world, next time they do a draft or shake up or whatever, these shows will trade titles and Miz will be put in a long ass feud with AJ.

I see Miz winning via shinanigans.  Miztourage, or, given the social media juice behind this feud, Maryse will get involved.

Raw Tag Team Champions the Bar vs SmackDown Tag Team Champions the Usos – Winner: The Bar.

With the big Shield vs. New Day match on the card, I feel like people are sleeping on this one.  They really shouldn’t as these two teams have been in some of the most exciting matches this year.  It’s amazing how many pay-per-views this year that could be summed up with “it was pretty shitty, but the tag match was really good.”  These two teams were often in those matches! Also, it’s a great styles clash!  Speedy Usos vs the powerhouse Bar!  They’re both heels, but the Usos have gotten enough rub from their “mutual respect” thing from the New Day that they could easily play the face in peril for this match.

For me, this is the biggest toss up to pick.  On the one hand, the Usos are the more experienced team, and just beat the New Day, so you might want to keep the momentum going.  That said, they’re also the team that could better survive the loss.  The Bar just won their belts in dirty fashion, and don’t have the tag team pedigree that the Usos have.  For that reason I have to go with the Bar.

Raw Women’s Champion Alexa Bliss vs SmackDown Women’s Champion Charlotte Flair – Winner: Charlotte Flair

I wonder how they’re going to do this match.  It’s always hard when a smaller heel goes against a more physically imposing babyface.  Plus, Bliss’s muscle is already booked in the Women’s Survivor Series match, so she probably won’t get involved.  For that reason I’m going to go with Flair.  Plus Bliss has been a great chicken shit heel, so I think she can survive the loss and still be an imposing threat when she gets Nia back.

The Shield vs. The New Day – Winner: The New Day.

This is probably my biggest stretch on a pick.  The Shield have been built as the most powerful force in wrestling.  All three have been world champs, two of them multiple times.  They’ve been at the top of the card since they split. That said, New Day have been a team longer.  You can tell a story where they just know each other better.  Their offense flows together.  You can plant seeds of frustration in the Shield that won’t be there with the New Day.  

Plus the New Day, though faces, cheat, ALL THE FUCKING TIME.  They’ve got that Eddie Guerrero kind of immunity where they can cheat and get cheered because it’s funny as hell.  I see them cheating here and winning the match…..plusIstoppedwatchingwrestlingforthechunkoftimethattheShieldgotbigandneverreallygotattachedtothemsoIdontreallylikethembuthavealwaysenjoyedKofi#Kofi4WWEChamp…BUT I DIGRESS.

Universal Champion Brock Lesnar vs. WWE Champion A.J. Styles – Winner: Brock Lesnar

Man, look at how crazy a week can change things.  AJ managed to beat the most protected finisher in the WWE, the Singh Brothers, to become the WWE Champion.  We all breathed a sigh of relief.  Any SmackDown pay-per-view was hampered by the fact that the main event was going to suck.  Don’t get me wrong, I still watched with the hopes that Nakamura was going to win the title, but got no enjoyment from any of the matches.

I was explaining this to my wife when she asked me “do you think that Jinder’s a worse champ than Roman Reigns? Cause everyone seems to hate him.”  If someone asked me to find 10 good Roman matches on the network, I could easily do it.  Say what you want about him being boring and slammed down our throats, but he is actually a good in ring performer.  Yeah he has some stinkers, but he also has some top notch matches under his belt.  

I’ve not seen one Jinder Mahal match I’d want to see more than once, and most of the time I wouldn’t want to see it once.  He reminds me of guys like Luther Reigns that just kind of were there and looked scary but just were flat in the ring.  He just doesn’t have the ability to put on a show.

And now we’re going to get a show!  Brock rises to the occasion against good opponents.  I’ve not been a big fan of “Suplex City” Brock, but if he wants to, he can do great things.  AJ is a great opponent for him that will bump all over the place and make him look like a monster.  They could structure this match a lot like any of the HBK vs Taker matches and it would work. Just so long as Brock wants it to go like that.

I’d love to see AJ get this win, but they’re building Brock as nigh unbeatable.  I’d also prefer a clean finish, but Jinder has been conspicuous by his absence.  I sense a run in by Jinder and the Singhs that will ultimately cost AJ the match.

Women’s Traditional Survivor Series Match – Winner: Team SmackDown It’ll be interesting to see how this match plays out.  You look at the match ups and they’re pretty great, and if there is one type of match the women’s roster has got practice at this year, it’s the elimination matches!  I think they’re going to follow the trend of past elimination matches and get the hosses out of the way early.  Look to see gangups on Tamina and Nia pretty quick.  

Everyone also expected this to be Paige’s return match.  Since that didn’t happen, but they have her around, I think they’re looking to get a surprise here.  Either she’s going to run in and help win the match for Raw, or she’s going to be Charlotte’s replacement on Team SmackDown.  I’m going with Paige replacing Charlotte, and helping them win.

Men’s Traditional Survivor Series Match – Winner: Team Raw

I don’t know about this match you guys.  Some of my favorite wrestlers of all time are in it but man…I just don’t know.  When Kurt wasn’t doing his signature spots at TLC he looked awkward.  I’ve seen some of his stuff since leaving TNA, but before coming back to WWE and while he had some good matches, they were usually his kind of matches.  He still can put on a great match, but it needs to be a particular kind of match and I don’t know if something this chaotic fits the bill.

Now, it’s a tag match, so he’ll be protected, and Team SmackDown has three guys he’s worked extensively with in the past, so who knows.  What really worries me though is the lack of storylines within the match.  Last year’s match worked so well because there were tons of moving subplots within the match.  Here, 2 of the participants were announced this week and haven’t wrestled on TV in months.  Randy has nothing going on in this match.  Shinsuke has nothing going on in this match. Roode has nothing going on in this match.  Hell, Braun doesn’t have anything going into this match.

On the Raw side you have Finn and Joe with beef, and Kurt and Triple H have their thing with Jason Jordan.  Kurt and Shane had some great stuff on Tuesday, so that’s good, but that can’t carry a 30-45 minute match.  

Don’t get me wrong, there is a ton of talent in the ring for this thing.  I am a fan of all of these guys (though I’ll never be able to forgive the Reign of Terror).  They’ll probably make something happen.

I think KO and Sami…ehem, sorry, Sami and KO are going to cost the blue team.  I don’t see how KO isn’t involved somehow given his push recently, and they need something to carry them going forward.

Match of the Night: Usos vs. The Bar

These guys have been lights out on their respective shows, and I think they have the best style match up other than maybe Brock and AJ.  The only reason I think this will be better than Brock and AJ is because I’m almost 100% certain there won’t be interference here, and I’m not 100% certain Brock won’t phone it in.

Worst Match of the Night: Miz vs. Corbin

It’s gonna be slow.  You want to get wasted?  Take down a shot every time Corbin is described as “methodical.”  Honestly, they should move this to the pre-show.  This show is already going to be about 6 hours long, and every time they try moving a tag match there, it turns into a match of the night candidate.  Can we please give the Miz something better to do?  He’s been the work horse champ of Raw forever now, he should be rewarded. Well that was long!  So that’s what I think for this weekend.  Let me know if you agree, and follow if you like what I write.