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choccy-milky · 6 months

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oh boy anon, you’ve activated my trap card. GET READY FOR A SEBASTIAN CHARACTER ANALYSIS ESSAY BELOW LMAO

ok so first off I know im obvs biased, but I don’t actually think my seb is that ooc, AND PUT DOWN YOUR PITCHFORKS IMMA EXPLAIN WHY. but im also gonna explain why I don’t think the other more friendly and lighthearted renditions of seb are ooc either. bc theres so many aspects of seb we get in the game that can be interpreted in so many diff ways, and so this is how i see it/landed on MY rendition of seb:

PROTECTIVENESS/POSSESSIVENESS: this is one of the main aspects of him, imo. his entire questline is about wanting to cure anne, and how he’s not giving up, and how he believes that HE is the only one that can do it, because “she’s MY sister!” seb is super tunnel visioned and has a one-track mind when it comes to this, and I headcanon that he’s this way because of their parents deaths. he’s the brother, the boy, he’s gotta be strong for his sister, and ofc when their parents died, he tries to comfort her and be there for her/be the rock, and it happens again when she’s sick. shes his sister, his responsibility, and he’ll die before he gives up on her and her safety.

SO, I just transfer all those aspects over to a romantic relationship instead. you just replace “shes my sister” with simply, “she’s mine/my gf/my wife/etc.” and in the same way I think seb tries to be strong and reliable and protect anne because he’s the brother, I think seb would be the same way in a relationship, because he’s a boy and she’s a girl and its 1890 and he’s chivalrous and he just sees it as his responsibility. I think the death of his parents and his dynamic with anne has baked this sort of mindset into him, and its even MORE intense in a romantic aspect, because then hormones and puberty and sexual tension and attraction is involved (plus the fact that seb in my fic is 17, so he’s older and has even stronger raging hormones and testosterone LOL.

JEALOUSY: who can forget the lines “between the two of you, I’m starting to feel left out” and “ominis simply needs a moment with you and he’ll change his mind. is that it?” the first one is more playful but I feel like the second one really showcases sebs brand of jealousy, and how biting and uncharitable it can be.

AGGRESSION/VIOLENCE: yet another iconic line with: “fine. but ominis knows, I won’t step back from a fight.” LIKE... the fact that apparently ominis knows this means its come up more than once…and im not saying seb is some unruly aggressor who flies off the handle at anything, but he defs has a capacity and is willing to get violent if HE believes the situation calls for it—basically the same way he feels about the dark arts. he felt justified using imperio to protect anne, and taking the relic to save anne, and so he would have fought ominis to get out of the catacomb. and with MY seb, while he doesn’t go picking fights with any boy who looks or gets close to clora, he’ll definitely be willing to beat up or lay hands on a creep who bothers clora/who is in the process of bothering her LOL.

SO YEAH, that’s pretty much it, and I’ll be the first to admit I definitely ramp up these traits further because he’s older in my fic and i think these traits would only get more intensified with age + being in love and also bc IM A TWILIGHT GIRLIE!!! what can I say. there are so many moments in my fic where you can just replace seb with edward and it wouldn’t seem out of place tbh LMAOO so blame twilight, it was a formative experience for me BAHAHA

BUT like I ALSO said, I don’t think peoples more lighthearted interpretations of seb are ooc either. because even all my earlier above examples, you can just focus on diff aspects of them. like his tunnel vision and obsession to cure anne? instead of seeing it as over the top protective and possessive, you can just view it in a more wholesome determined selfless sort of way. like I said we got so many nice little bits and ingredients of his personality that we can turn into anything we want, really👌just pick which flavour of seb u like best and use what we got in game to create it HAHA

AW TYY QUEEN BAHAHA💖 and aw im always so honoured when ppl tell me they consider my stuff canon that’s like the best compliment I can get, tysm 😭 and im glad you like my fic and art so much (enough for your friends and family to unfortunately know💀 LMAOO)

im adding your ask to this because it kinda ties into my seb essay. LETS GET INTO WHY A SWEET BABY ANGEL WOULD LIKE SOMEONE LIKE SEB. the answer ISSS: the same reason WE’RE also all into him I guess?? BAHHA

ok but to start off im gonna defend my seb, not only cause of what you said anon (i dont want you to feel like this is targeted to you!) but also bc I got an ask recently asking me to summarize seb and clora’s relationship since all they see from my art is that “they fuck and seb is possessive” LMAO, and I feel like ppl who JUST see my art and don’t read my fic have a warped image of my seb.

this may be shocking but I don’t consider my seb a red flag LMAO. I joke about how hes more of a pink flag tbh, but even THAT i dont even really believe, and don’t even consider him overly possessive. like yes he keeps an eye on her when shes hanging around other boys, but I feel like that’s normal (esp for 1890) and all of his most possessive moments have been when theres been a threat to cloras life/coming from a place of love and protection (especially since clora is so self-sacrificial, she’d have killed herself by now if not for seb LOL) so to me id actually put Sebastian as being PROTECTIVE as his first and foremost trait, followed by the possessiveness.

and yeah he gets jealous, but unless a dude is actively trying to get with her/hitting on her/harassing her, he’ll otherwise just kinda be unhappy about it/let it play out/ watch on unhappily LOL. and even when lawley was blackmailing clora and getting in between her and sebs relationship and lying about how close he and clora were, seb demanded answers from CLORA on what was happening between the two of them, but he didn’t touch lawley or tell him to stay away. bc seb thought that was what clora wanted, so he let her drift away. if he was TRULY a red flag, in this instance he would have just beat up lawley for taking what was "his"/not allow clora to leave him/immediately go to lawley instead of clora, and tell him to stay away despite what clora might want. (and clora even WISHED seb had interfered and done this. she was like 'why is he letting me drift away and go off with lawley i WANT him to fight for me...but she couldn't actually say anything thanks to the blackmail)

clora doesn’t just 'put up' with sebs more possessive and protective behaviour though, she actually likes it HAHA. just bc shes a precious baby angel, we all like a bad boy, even back then. just look at jane eyre, and how popular the dark and brooding and assholey mr. rochester was.

she tells seb at one point that she likes those things about him, even his immature competitive side, and his darker sides, and that he shouldn’t try to hide them or change himself because she accepts them. and even putting aside all of the stuff they’ve been through together that has bonded them (like the main canon quests + annes curse and then CLORA being cursed, and then clora being kidnapped and seb saving her) clora thought seb was roguish and charming and witty and intelligent and good looking from day 1. add to the fact that he’s just so devoted to her in everything he does, that even if he CAN get a bit overbearing at times, how could you NOT fall for someone like that😩 someone whose possessive behavior just stems from wanting to protect you and love you and want to keep you safe and cherish you like DAMN…. GET ME A SEB, TOO. WHERES MINE!!!😭😭

clora also realizes in ch 32 WHY seb is so protective of her (the trauma with his parents and wanting to be there for anne) and that she accepts it, and enjoys it, and that she might even MISS it if seb were to ever get less protective of her/might get lonely LOL, and then sebs like "i’ve "spoiled you, have i?"

so YEAH I don’t think sebs protectiveness and possessiveness goes into any toxic territory or red flag territory PERSONALLY (and the time that it DID get toxic was because of the relic, and clora DID put her foot down)

but my normal seb? whose dream in life is to whisk clora away into a tower and lock her up to keep her safe and keep her all to himself, but that he’d never ACTUALLY do because he knows its insane and unreasonable but jokes about wanting to do it anyway bc he would if clora agreed? clora finds that endearing and cute and is touched by how much he loves her and wants to keep her safe.

IN CLOSING: I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOUR AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

#LONG ASS SEB ESSAY #this was so therapeutic to write i hope that people who dont read my fic now understand my seb a bit better #like i said i feel like he gets a bad wrap/people think hes super ooc from his canon just based on my art alone #sebastian sallow #i wanted to write this ever since that one ask where they were like what do they do other than bang and be jealous HAHAHA #ANON MY FIC IS 500K WORDS THEY DO A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF TRUST ME #and even when seb is super possessive and protective im still usually on his side LMAOO #like just based on my art you defs might think seb is unreasonable but #for the ppl who actually read my fic they know clora is on like a self sacrifice speedrun LOOL #forget team edward and team jacob its team seb and team clora #and im usually a girl's girl but sorry clora im usually with seb and his logic when it comes to keeping u safe LMAOO #sebastian sallow x oc #ask

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puppyeared · 3 months

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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what #allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of #the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than #to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do #im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt #take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was #mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their #mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that #explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain #direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in #arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to #engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out #theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive #a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked #picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing #sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example #for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war #is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old #wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for #steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with #especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can #look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never #treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time #but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made #feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them #accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me #yapping #diary

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luck-of-the-drawings · 8 months

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OOH YEAH BABY! PARTY TIME BABY! MUSIC! DRINKS! SOCIAL PRESSURE & A PSYCHEDELIC BREAK DOWN! WELCOME TO VAMPIRE SOCIETY MOTHERFUCKER! ARE YOU SCARED? DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET? ITS OKAY IF NOT. FIRE DISSOLVED IT! ITS ALL GONE NOW. HAVE FUN!

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #jrwi suckening spoilers #RRAAHH IM IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW SOOO GOODDAMN MUCH!! each o these characters has STOLEN my HEART!!!#LIKE EMIZEEELLL i love emizel so much.. runnin around announcing that HE isa PRINCE while shiloh FINALLY quietly clicks the pieces together #nathan hanover you MADMAN!!! that slow dramatic guitar riff as emizel makes that announcement was so fuckin COOL UGHHHH #MR HANOVER DOES IT AGAIN just creating tracks that absoultely WORM into my MIND and HHEAARRT UUGHHGHH #emizel is so cool and so funny and so adorable UUGHH ill gush abt him more when i finally post my emizel n soda doodle page #ARTHUR FUCKING BENNET. i totally get why grizz has a hard time playing him. hes cool and stoic n its not easy to play a man o little words #BUT BBOOOY DOES HE DO IT WELL!! arthur DOES come off as so stoic n cool & it just makes his lil misfortunes all the more charming #like falling into the red fear or confrontin edward twilight or accidentally doing lsd. I LOVE THATS HES THE BAD LUCK GUY.#okay uhhu uhh i have limited room here what else should i say uhh. THE NPCS. MY GOD THE NPCS. CHARLIE U WONDERFUL MADMAN #edward twilight is SUCH a funny fucking antagonist. and supposedly his magic stuff is super scary?? SO EXCITED TO SEE MORE OF THAT #ill ramble abt mr deacon keller later eheh i have a. uh. a doodle page in the works. so in the meantime DAYBRINGER SOLOMON!!#“HERE COMES THE SUN MOTHERFUCKER!�� “ILL SEE YOU IN HELL. NOT. IM GOING TO HEAVEN. BITCH.” like come on now. oh my god. i need him #BIG POWERFUL BEAST AND EVERY WORD HE SAYS HAS ME CRACKING UP. THE MUFFLED VOICE IN THE DARK BROKEN BY “LIGHT!”#TRULY HILARIOUS AND YET TRULY HORRIFYING. I FUCKIN LOVE CHARLIE NPCS SO MUCH. I HOPE WE SEE HIM AGAIN OHH MY GOOOODDD #OKAYokay. im normal now. ill talk abt the piece. if u read my tags this far then u get special secret knowledge abt the artistic process #IM VERY HAPPY WITH MY COLORS! i know they were hallucinating on drugs so i just recalled the times i did drugs & used that as my influence #REMEMBER KIDS! acid is totally fine if ur safe and responsible about it. do acid and then stare at my art for a bit trrruuust me. IT MOVES!#anyway i think thats all my thoughts here. thank you for looking at my art n thanku if ur one o the ppl that says nice things in the tags #U are LITERLY my life blood i pick up each of u n kiss u so sweetly on the head. remember to try acid!!!!

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scatterbrainedbot · 7 months

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I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ZACH I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE (no cause the way I ran to my friends to show them these and proceeded to curl up on the floor while they laughed. IM INSANE OVER THEM QwQ <33333)

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN, RAHHHHH

just doin' my job, ma'am

#ask reply #AHHHHHHHH TRIONAAAA #IM SO GLAD U LIKE IT DUDE <3333 #this was what prompted the 'two wolves' meme i sent u btw #i wanted to throw the sketches at u SO BAD but im glad i didnt ruin the surprise :D #ALSO LMAO I HOPE THIS DOESNT RUIN IT FOR U BUT AFTER I FINISHED THE RAPH ONE #I COULDNT UNSEE IT AS RAFA GENTLY AND LOVINGLY GIVING MIKEY THE MIDDLE FINGER #I LIKE COMPLETELY REDID HIS HAND LIKE THREE TIMES BUT ALAS #hes harnessing the energy of that mark hamill quote after carrie fisher passed #'looking down from the celestrial stratosphere with those big brown eyes #that sly smile on her face as she lovingly extends me the middle finger' <3 #fandom friends #also it sounds like things are super busy for you right now but know my lil muppet ass is there on the sidelines rooting for u!!#also ready to be deployed to inflict all my puppet fury on whatever gets in ur way lmao #just say the word boss im on it #o7 #(also always here to talk if u ever need <3)

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toastsnaffler · 23 days

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ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....

#just med shit innit. gonna force myself up at my usual work time even tho i have the day off bc I need to be in my routine or ill lose it #i am. very tired and very sad. and thats ok generally im ok ive been keeping myself so busy for weeks and weeks #and im glad im going out n doing shit often n meeting new ppl n trying to focus more on hobbies n get more on the life balance #but whenever i have a moment to stop i still get so sad. ik exactly why theyre all just old aches n wounds i dont want to wallow in them!!#lately its been well under control i only usually have one actual bad day a week and sometimes its not even a whole day #and the rest im.just busy and i dont know if im just avoiding things and its not satisfying being busy bc im still missing out needs #but i cant fulfil them so might as well stay busy and not think about it!!#and its okay its all okay im just so sad right now :-( but im going to sleep soon and then ill be busy tmr so i dont have to think abt it #i wanna ventpost abt it but also i dont rly want to bc findinf the words to talk abt the things distressing me involves thinking abt it #which will just.make me feel worse. and it wont resolve anything bc its all mostly outside of my control anyway just hurts innit #but im trying hard to make my life bigger than it was before even if its still shallow and not quite enough at least it covers more space #yeah yeah we all want to feel genuine connection and wanted and loved but life doesnt often work out like that so.#hands in your pockets player keep it moving. im goiny to brush my teeth and then rly need to go to bed zzzzz #.diaries #hope everyone else had a nice weekend i had a pretty good saturday at least. and played a lot of videogames today so could be worse #very glad i dont have work tomorrow as well thank u past me for booking it off ahh..

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cosmobrain00 · 1 year

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interesting how ppl get on others for shipping smthing toxic immediately rather than examine how they're portraying it

#if anyone tries to make this abt shipping a minor w an adult character or smthing ill scream yk wht im talking abt dont be daft #n just to elaborate a little- to me I get annoyed when I see ppl shipping xxc n xy (for ex) n acting like they love each other soooo much #n tht xxc would “get ovr” xy being who he actually was #or tht sl “ruined it” like no??? THATS where I have a prob when ppl just make shit up for their own agenda #so maybe idk if I should use the word shipping or not but hope u guys get it sm #n basically my point is tht I dont like it when ppl make it out to be smthing it isn't or ignore the canon evidence tht they r bad together #like why not USE tht instead smh not evrything has to end in love

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tea-and-secrets · 11 months

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I am genuinely obsessed with my friend and I don't know how to cope with it. I spend all day thinking about them at school, drawing them in the corners of my books, namelessly talking about him to my other friends, when I think about going home I just think about talking to them.

Then of course when I get home we'll exchange a few messages and he'll leave to talk to their other friends, so then I'm upset he doesn't want to spend every possible moment with me. But instead of just doing something else, I put on some music and just wait for him to get back, because I don't have any hobbies or anyone who'll want to talk to me or really any actual life outside of my friends.

I've realized they spend a lot of time on amino, so I've made an amino account to watch them talk to other people with. I know its wrong and weird but I feel empty without him and what they don't know can't hurt them, right? I'm a fantastic friend otherwise, always there for them and interested in what he has to say. They're really nice to me but never gives that back in return, though I can't bring myself to be mad at him most of the time.

I sleep at 2am to say goodbye when they go to school, and wake up at 7am to greet him when they get back. I make them gifts and tell him I love him. I'd tear up my entire life for them (not like there's much to tear up anyway) I feel like my only worth is being useful to them

This is half vent and half cry for help please does anyone know what I can do. Anyway anyway byeeee have a good day

#long post #i'm not the best person to give advice but my two cents would be:#find things to do for YOU!!!! that have nothing to do with them!!!!#what if you look for an amino group(?) for something that you like? :]#ask your other friends what they're reading/watching!! ask them if you can watch it with them!#sounds like this person is taking up a lot of ur brain space. the thing that helps imo is to find other things you can engage with #the goal isnt to make feelings go away! but to form a support system of people and things/hobbies that are uniquely yours :]#like im being so serious rn but this is your chance to fuck around. try knitting. join that weird club at school. do things cuz they're FUN #you like music? invite a friend to a concert or a music shop!!!!#<- i'm wording this so bad but i'm hoping you get the gist BWHAGAHAH #the thing that helped me manage breakups was hanging out w/ friends. lets u think abt other things + find other things you love #<- the context is different of course but i think the idea is the same!!!!

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mechawolfie · 1 year

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hehe I figured nightow was having fun w tristamp/exploring a different world, that's like the main reason I love this show despite hating this show

#smudgy.txt #i cant explain it its just so fun to see a different vesion of things/see things from a different.. perspective isnt the word #uhhhh just. seeing things in a different way. idk im bad w words!! its just fun ok!!!!#like as a trimax fan im like *pouts* but as a fan of worldbuilding & seeing creators have fun w their worlds im like yay yippeee!!!!#im still not caught up bc im still recovering from trimax but. as an Art Fan im so in love #u can just feel the love & effort behind tristamp #yknow???????#& im excited for s2 & HOPE TO GOD they get a s3. like this is going to be sofun im buzzing w excitement #trigun #tristamp

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potatobugz · 2 years

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hi dear mutuals + followers. n. new hyperfixation. i think. please do not blow me up with missiles and rockets☹️

#rambles #so. uh. um #s. south park drawing. can i post it. can i post art #i started watching it out of curiosity bc my friends like it and i enjoyed it and #i think the hyperfixation was inevitable bc i was planning on watching the whole thing. theres like ten billion episodes #and i am capable of consuming media like. normally #its funny bc when i was younger i used to have a grudge against this show like i rlly didnt like it and look at me now #anywho sorry if iam being cringe and or lame #im not trying to be like 'oh woe is me i am now being shunned because i watched a tv show some ppl didnt like' i #just have anxiety :( bad anxiety :((#p.s. obvs ppl are entitled to their opinion also #long story short; i am afraid.#ILL STILL POST OTHER ART TOO THOUGH )$;($- OFC #theres room in my brain for many things except long term memories i guess #:( :( :( :(#ANYWAYS LAST BUT NOT LEAST sorry for putting this whole ramble in the tags ii couldnt rmable in the main post #bc for some reason i cant talk like this in the main post bc i get too nervous but i guess im fine in the tags?#sorry thats worded super weirdly. i hope u know what i mean #really truly i am like a frightened baby dear ready to take off at the slightest hint of movement #*deer

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cosmicdenro · 2 years

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apologies to my active followers who do not like the rampant aggressiveness in my posts !£6;3(2

#whether it be art or written ideas #because a lot of the thsc ppl's content i like i are super kind and my words #are so violent in comparison -!£+4(_-3 #i balance it out with when i like drawing cute art but u also dont wanna #feel held back yknow #i dont like the unnecessarily over the top evilness it isnt my thing #but some unnecessary rudeness is funny to me teehee #but yes this could be a little tell to people who may be new here and to those who have been here n may feel discomfort from my posts #my bad 🤸🤸 never gave thought to being concerned about my posts until ppl got #a lot active with ny posts when i started getting back into thsc #also i hope when i say i cant handle angst it doesnt deter anyone from drawing their ideas too 😭#ill keep my distance from those posts lol im trying everyday to just cater to what im comfortable with

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daughterofsarenrae · 11 months

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fajsdlkfjslkfjsdlkfj my dad is upset with my bc he just discovered kill la kill and i told him i watched it in like high school and apparently i should've recommended it to him back then

#in hindsight yeah he loves satire #but at the time i was like. oh my god im going to get in trouble bc of the fanservice in this show JLKFJLKDJF #LISTEN. my dad is a weeb. he cannot help this.#anyways congrats to him for making me think about klk for the first time in YEARS #also for fucking calling me out for having been obsessed with ryuko #like yeah she DOES fit into my favorite genre of character. u know me so well #man it is an experience being the age i am now and talking to my dad. last time we talked on the phone he dropped the f bomb #and i was like. HOLY SHIT am i like. allowed to curse around u now. have i officially grown out of not being allowed to say Bad Words.#bc hoo boy brace urself <3 #anyways i love my dad. i miss him. i am sosososososossososo excited and impatient for the (HOPEFUL. FINGERS CROSSED) trip we might take soo #im not going to say where bc i dont want to jinx it. but oh my god if it happens i am literally NEVER going to shut up about it #ANYWAYS #bel speaks #happiest day of my dad's life was me starting to take japanese. so that i could tell him how to say this one line from godzilla #he's obsessed with godzilla. that's his blorbo #now im just ranting about my dad in the tags. post over everyone go home

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pepprs · 2 years

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im discontent and tired but like too discontent and tired to put it into words i think. lol

#purrs #prefacing this as usual by saying that i love my job. but also… every single situation. EVERY situation. is a primal situation in one way. l #like either i am dying of hunger / thirst / sleep deprivation and feeling it so hard i can’t focus on my work or i am so stressed that i am #being chased into a hidey hole by all the pressures or i am projecting my parents onto ppl and reliving primal moments of abaondoment and ex #exclusion LMFAO. And it’s like there’s no wonder i am so fucking exhausted every day when i come home i have lived 746 lifetimes in the last #8-9 hours. but it’s just so insane and im so tired. i literally thought i was gonna have an anxiety attack earlier today and it was bc i had #health anxiety bc my heart was pounding so hard over my facilitation anxiety that i got scared my heart was legitimately going to give out a #and then i started spiralling and like. lol i don’t think that’s healthy. i just want the election to be over so fucking bad but also i cant #just throw up my hands and give up and hope for the best i am literally being paid to give everything i have to making the world better so i #im gonna do it it’s just i am so often like the youngest and least experienced person in the room and im insecure about that and also i am j #just scared like… as a person and it’s just a lot to deal with i guess. lol #guess i was able to put it into words lol. but the moments of me projecting shit are so annoying bc then i get mad and then my feelings get #hurt bc no one notices im mad but also i don’t want anyone to notice im mad bc im being stupid for literaly no reason so. idk im just #ear ripped tated right now over stupid stupid shit that genuinely does not matter and has no bearing but when it’s little things that build #up over the course of the day… idk. it’s just hard 💃🏻#delete later #this is abt smth that happened in a meeting today brw it’s not abt anyone including irls i saw today / this week i love u 😽#also side note i saw literally SO many of the ppl closest to me this week. like that used to be an almost every day occurrence and i think t #this week not only did i see… like not to name drop on my tumblr blog with redacted followers but not only did i see you markya and #david but i saw tirzah AND brandon AND radia. WTF!!!!! that’s so many of my favorite people all in one week!!!! :DDDDDDD #(omg pretend i put ‘you’ after all the ppl it applies to)

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lunarhoneybunny · 1 year

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sighs. okay tmi posting sorry guys

#lunar bunny chatter #my horniness has been fluctuating the last day or so and it's definitely because of my period. this morning was crazy #i went to some DMs to listen to an audio message i got and i just died again and thought about some stuff which led me back onto tumblr #and i just went to look at some text posts and now that i look back. dude i have such an atrocious daddy/mommy kink it's actually funny #i mean. i really like the idea of being an appealing figure and my criteria for who i call daddy is so specific. there's just two people #that fall into that category but i don't like the other person as much as the other one. hi sorry for being gay i need this off of my chest #also hanging out with some friends and im so bad at comebacks and all that. how the fuck am i gonna top without stuttering and fumbling #and forgetting words.... that's my biggest worry. it doesn't help that i get super chatty when nervous but maybe i can work it in my favor #i wanna try out the title stuff just to test the waters before going absolutely ham. maybe as a cute joke i'll go “oh sure w/e u say daddy”#“lol haha” but it just seems real fun. i think it's hot too but. yeah it's a lot to unpack ahaha.#i still have a lot of guilt for talking dirty and being more brave when talking but that's just because i always felt like i didn't have...#the right to explore that especially when a lot of people i knew back then thought of me as “pure and innocent girl” and like. yeah fuck no #this was a really meandering ramble but my point: “daddy hot mommy hot i wanna explore that and im also nervous about stuff”#i do genuinely enjoy when i get in the mood though especially with someone i trust and like. click with? i hope that isn't too much to say #but it feels very natural and i don't have to force or hide anything. i just need a bit more confidence ahaha #that's all the rambling i got in me im gonna listen to some classic music from latin artists because im silly and mildly sentimental rn.

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red-dyed-sarumane · 1 year

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the whole vocal synth scene. vocaloid cevio synthv utau etc etc. all super special to me. sentimental reasons but also bc its just amazing right like. u dont have to know anything u dont have to be good. u dont have to self promote. the software allows literally anyone to use it, any person ever can make whatever song they want. doesnt matter if they cant sing themselves, doesnt matter if they'd never have a "real" chance in the broad music scene. they can make whatever they want. can bc these voice banks have their own names and characters behind them its insanely easy to find songs with them from anyone ever. i can search kasane teto & sort by views & find the best most touching song ive ever heard with 200 views & thats not something i could find otherwise. it makes connecting just so infinitely easy. so so easy to find things u like or for others to find u if ur the one using them. users & artists overwhelmingly support each other theres EVENTS to participate in to find people u never would have otherwise. theres people who put out songs like mad and people who disappear for years & people just messing around for fun & they all have an equal chance of connecting with the right audience its just so wild. sure there are ur big name producers & people who take it super seriously but even then how many of them are also literally just some guy with a computer. theres not even a need to be super presentable bc most of the time every choose not to show their faces. i love the "anyone can do anything" sentiment and the vocasynth scene just really feels like it holds true here. it doesnt even stop with the producers! theres how many skilled dancers & singers & animators that anyone can find all bc of the song some stranger made. theres not usually a "i have to change this song in some way to worry about a copyright strike" or similar here bc it's ENCOURAGED for people to sing the songs or make their own dances to it or draw or 3d animate a different video for it. & theres lots of people who end up making it into more mainstream music too all bc of the reach & experiences from voca stuff. all this & i havent even touched on the fact all the voice providers on board with it too & a lot of them love their synths. anyone can do anything fuck man i love it a lot

#i am normal about vocal synths. as u can see #u can ride trends if u want u can ignore them completely its whatever man!! in a good way!!#i keep getting worried about skill level & its like!!! literally no one cares!!#u can be bad!!! people still love to see u trying!!!! & people WILL see u trying!!!!!!#esp with nnd recs oh my god nnds on point #reccing based on tags & views but not in a whats most popular way #if ive been listening to a lot of low view count songs it starts giving me like 1-400 view recs. its very good about that #i have no idea how well this is worded bc im partially distracted but i hope u get what i mean #the fan base can be a mess but im not talking about that #the downside to voca is fans tend to. separate songs from the people that make them but im not about to start that argument rn

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