#i would know im the Designated Gay Driver

[crying-wolves]

hi!! why stress when you can be in a fictional world??

so i kept seeing my ex this week 🫣 after not seeing them for a year 🥴 and im over her but it’s like first gay love you know? that shit fucks you up!!!

i kept thinking about abby and how i wish i could text her 😭😭 like babe come pick me up PLEASE

so yeah maybe something around that?? i think we all need some abby comfort

You usually weren’t known for making mistakes.

Seriously, as overconfident and precise as it sounds, you were always the smart one. Level-headed in a way that pissed your friends off when all they wanted to do was go a little feral. Experiment. Let whatever happens, happen.

Yeah, you didn’t buy into that whole “let the universe make your choices for you” moonshine. Didn’t appeal to you in the slightest.

So why, oh, why are you spending your Friday night standing outside of a crumbling sports bar, rubbing at those tears that threaten to fall from your eyes onto the ground below you?

You guess the universe pushes and pushes until it finally has its way with you in the end.

Your fingers had dialed practically everyone of your four roommates in the past 10 minutes that you’ve been standing out in the balmy summer air, but, of fucking course, each call went straight to voice mail every single time.

Figures! The one time you decide to do something out of your comfort zone and everything starts spinning off its axis immediately.

The idea of calling an Uber flits across the back of your mind, but you really don’t want to spend anymore money tonight, having already handed your card over to the bartender enough times that you were thoroughly buzzed and feeling that if you checked your bank account right now, all of those vodka sodas would come racing back up your throat. Hard pass.

It isn’t until you scroll through your contacts for the fifth consecutive time and land right back at the top, however, that you stop to consider what may be the most obvious answer of the night: Abby Anderson. Fuckin’ duh.

Abby “Permanent Designated Driver” Anderson. The girl who has decidedly quit drinking altogether after deciding that she really wants to take her whole softball career seriously. Abby Anderson who is always, always wide awake into the deep recesses of the night, cramming for her 8am or putting in a few last minute hours at the gym.

Abby Anderson, sweet, sweet, Abby, somehow bestowed with the patience of a saint and the subtlety of a freight train, who will definitely pick you up, but won’t hesitate to ask what you’re doing at this ratty old place at 2:30 in the morning.

It’s probably a lot better than practically dragging your way home, so, why not?

You dial the number and she picks up within 3 rings, a little out of breath. You guess she took on the weight room, tonight.

“Yeah?”

Your body stiffens. Fuck! How well do you actually know Abby? You’ve barhopped with her and some other friends in the past, but most of those nights were spent casually sipping at a bottle of soda while you listen to everyone else converse and socialize. When was the last time you actually spoke to her?

“Is this one of those county cop calls that keeps going around campus, cause I’m not signing your fuckin’ petition—“

“No, no!” You blurt out, a little surprised at yourself. “It’s just— I mean, it’s just…me?”

Abby says your name inquisitively through the phone, sounding as startled as you are. “Hey…is everything alright?”

You scan your surroundings as if they’ll give you the answer that you’re looking for, and shrug like she can see you. Could be worse, you guess?

“Are you busyyy tonight?” You slur a little, and she seems concerned at the sound.

“No, I’m, uh, free? Are you in—“

“Could you, maybeee, give me a ride home?”

You think you can hear a ‘pause sound’ moving through her head, or maybe you’re just a bit more drunk than you thought.

“Yeah! Yeah, totally, just…are you off-campus, or—?”

“Mmhmm! I’llsendyouthelocation, byeee!”

You click the end call button and stare st the black screen. Since when did you get so frazzled over talking to her? She sounds the same as she usually does, right? Choosing not to think about it too much, the location is sent her way and, judging by the distance, she should be there in 20 minutes.

She’s there in 15. You hear her before you can actually make out the vehicle in the distance. It’s late. The roads are empty. You didn’t give her much context, so, you don’t exactly blame her for hurrying.

But her car pulls up in front of you like a heavy metal chariot, and you get a little anxious about stepping into the passenger’s seat in your sheer black dress and platform heels.

Neither of you say anything for the first minute and you’re rather grateful. Your insides feel like poorly melted snow, and you’re not sure if it’s the way that Abby’s gripping the steering wheel or the fact that she keeps glancing over at you through the side window. You see your legs shift against the leather seats, but your mind is elsewhere.

“Did you, uh, get to the bar alone?” She begins, tapping her thick fingers against the wheel, sounding like she’s trying to broach something, but you don’t know what it is yet.

You squint down at your phone screen to check the time again. Right. The evening started way earlier than you remembered.

“Nope. Came here on a blind date.”

Abby tries not to react like that shocks her, but she doesn’t quite make the mark.

“You went—! Oh! Right! ‘course! Makes sense…”

Silence, again. The kind that’s unbearable in situations like these. You roll down the window for some fresh air, but it makes the both of you sweat even more.

“Did it…go well?”

You purse your lips together and shake your head. “Nope. She was kind of a dick.”

Abby lets out a breathy chuckle at your answer and you decide to keep going.

“She wasn’t really that into me. Kept chatting up the waitress and interrupting me whenever I spoke. Said she had to leave early to pick up her little brother from his friend’s house, but she said she was an only child when I asked earlier, so…”

“Damn…that’s—that’s rough…”

“Yeah…”

What is with the both of you and pained silences? Seems to be something in the air tonight.

Abby clears her throat while you’re silently moping at the memories, and when you get to a red light, she turns to take you in.

“If it makes you feel any better, the last date I went on snuck out of the back door before dessert.”

You gasp, dramatically, and she rolls her eyes in the same manner.

“No fuckin’ way! You’re tellin’ meee that someone would actually pass up a chance to go on a date with you?” The utter disbelief that you stare up at her with makes her cheeks go pink, and she can’t help but feel a little satisfied with herself. She smiles, a little bitterly.

“Not as much of a catch as you think I am, babe.”

You can’t help but giggle. “Oh, I hardly believe that, Ms. Anderson.”

If there’s one thing you can thank the alcohol for, besides getting you in Abby’s car in the first place, it’s the extra push it gives you to go for the things you actually want.

“You know, Abigail, if you’re into it, we could, maybe, do a repeat performance of our shitty dates with each other, and make them…not shitty? How’s that sound?”

You feel the smile before you see it on her face. It’s like she can bring the warmth of the sun into any space she occupies.

“Well…” she starts “As long as you promise to at least tell me before you sneak out the back, then, we got ourselves a deal.”

You’re giddy with all that light she brings. And, you think, briefly, that sure, maybe you don’t usually make these kinds of mistakes, but at least this one scored you a date with THE Abby Anderson.

So, maybe, possibly, the universe could very well be onto something.

[uummyuu]

Hello Myu!!!

Can I request a riano headcanon from a supa strikas?

Because there is very little content related to it on this platform.

Bye <3

riano headcanons

GODD U DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM TO WRITE THIS LIKE LITERALLY IM VIBRATING I LOVE BARKA SO MUCH SILLY LITTLE PURPLE MEN CKSMDMKSMSMSM—

honestly i bet he's kinda the guy who the media would portray as a big flirt/playboy superstar but deep down is a hopeless romantic and genuinely cares about making deep connections with other people. but this desire for emotional connection is what also makes him an inherent people-pleaser, he has to give the people what they want or else they won't want to be around him anymore!

this was his genuine thought process when his mentor relationship with golare started going a bit abusive. his team literally had to tell him that the way golare was forcing his body wasn't good for him and help riano gain the backbone to fire him. (he missed their friendship deeply throughout that time, golare was like a father figure to him)

once golare had been reinstated as barka's coach however, it was all water under the bridge for riano. he was genuinely happy to have his friend back, and to see goldie (the fish he bought golare) doing so well. seeing goldie being well taken care of reassured riano that the friendship he had with golare wasn't one-sided.

anyways barka fc are like his brothers, they all look out for each other in a way (i.e. riano offering free rides/being the designated driver at club outings). but they care for him in return, serving as a support system so that he doesn't crumble under the constant media attention.

should i mention that i don't really see riano as an alcohol drinker? he goes to the clubs purely for the vibes and to enjoy a night out with his teammates. (hah gay)

loves fun drinks though, give that man some sort of cool mocktail and he'll be all over it taking cool aesthetic pictures for his instagram, or whatever the instagram equivalent is in supa strikas.

speaking of his instagram, he loves posting about literally anything that piques his interest, yeah he does some usual behind the scenes posts during practice or after winning a game and whatnot, but he also likes bringing his fans along to see some of his other interests like the weekly latin dance classes he's been taking up. or he'll see a cool bird and post it to his story real quick i dunno—

random thought but this man could rock a pair of stilettos no problem.

source: the one time riano actually managed to get blackout drunk he pulled a whole choreographed drag routine out of his ass, including the black 10 inch high stilettos of course. they have a video of it but they don't dare post it online, it's a team inside joke only >:((

golare has seen the video though and compliments riano on being a good dancer, and riano rues the fact that he was so drunk he forgot the literal routine, he wants to do it again ://.

anyways i'd like to think that riano is a very honorable woman respecter, when girls flirt with him he only discourages it when it goes a little too far (words are one thing, touching him is another). but his type is definitely someone more down-to-earth.

man, woman, whatever else it doesn't matter to him. once a person catches his eye he'll do his best to get closer, he likes to be friends first before progressing into anything romantic. wants to get to know them and let them know him typa thing, no need to rush.

once he does get to that stage though he becomes a hoe for hand holding, or when his partner wraps their arm around his. vice versa as well the man loves his physical affection. wants to reassure his partner that no matter how the media portrays him he will remain loyal no matter what.

deep down i'd like to think he dates with marriage/the future in mind but he won't force it if he does end up reaching a romantic stage with his partner.

[zedortoo]

How about mr stick headcanons

Ohhhh you've opened the floodgates. Hcs under the cut (half of these are just me projecting tho). Also trying not to go over headcanons I've already done but I may retread old group on accident

he's like, mid-late 40s. A bit younger than Peppino and Gustavo but not by too much.

His bad eyesight isn't genetic. When he was a kid he whacked his head a bit too hard and his eyesight went all fucky. It got worse overtime until he was in his 20's. He's shortsighted.

He also has hand tremors cause from the same accident. They get worse when he's tired or upset but are usually very manageable. He's got a real "fuck it we ball" attitude about the whole brain damage thing

He ONLY wears expensive suits and shit. They are all orange. He will not be seen in anything else even for a quick supermarket run.

Despite living in the most insane apartment known to man and having lots of Road Blocks in his life, he's actually really happy with where he is. He never really had a goal in life and he's just taking everything one day at a time.

Really temperature sensitive. Too hot? He'll be whining about the sun giving him a headache. Too cold? He'll be complaining about getting sick or having his big ass nose freeze off.

He loves being compressed. It sounds weird but like he has several weighted blankets and he'll pile them all on top of one another and climb underneath he just likes feeling like he's being crushed between tectonic plates

He's gay but SOOOOOOO in denial it's crazy. Everyone knows he's gay apart from himself and it's hilarious.

Would fuck up the most simple recipe ever. He can't even cook toast without setting the whole apartment alight

Adding onto that. He's very unlucky in general. He's been struck by lightning so many times he's built up an immunity (cartoon logic). When you're hanging out with him you're gonna need several lucky charms to survive. It's like Milo Murphy's law did y'all see that show where the guy was voiced by weird al

IM GOING TO GET SOO MUCH SHIT FOR THIS BUT I feel like he'd like Lemon Demon. Specifically his older albums like hip to the javabean. He seems like the type of guy to like oingo boingo and shit noone understands him like I do apart from Olympe

He's usually the designated driver for the pizza tower crew because Peppino's too anxious to drive and Gustavo is such a reckless driver it's actually laughable. He DOES have his own car but it only works half the time and has several 'interesting' repairs and add-ons. (There is a whole ass fireplace in the back for heating)

He's actually the dude who helped design the don't make a sound animatronics bc he's the inventor guy. He sold them to pizzahead because they kept trying to kill him but didn't know they were used against Peppino

THIS DUDE HAS LOW IRON if he stands up too fast he will crumple in a heap on the floor and ppl think he's dead but it just. Happens. If you have low iron you get it. Also being a tall ass motherfucker doesn't work in his favor it makes the whole thing even worse (he thinks it's funny to lay out and act like a sickly victorian woman while recovering though)

THAT'S IT FOR NOW IM GETTING TIRED. goot night

[jayesprite]

Do you have any dirkjane/dirkjaye recommendations (fanfic, other accounts that post about them, ect) also i need to know your dirkjaye hcs i love them so much

im gonna be honest w you i dont keep up w the fandom much & i know that there isnt a lot of content abt dirkjaye that's like.. not weird?

(readers note: im about to go check AO3 and see if they even have anything that's dirkjaye. ok two minutes later found a user who did transmasc jane. ok a minute later they ship str-dercest thats a no)

SO dirkjaye can actually be so personal (to me. specifically) and a lot of my thoughts abt their relationship & dynamic mirror how i've been in past relationships so :) it's very fun.

hcs under the cut

dirk thought jaye was a boy when they first met at 13. he knew he was gay so he was DEVASTATED finding out that jane was a "girl". roxy is the only one who knew about this. he does not admit it until years later

they do everything together. even errands. dirk is the designated driver and jaye is quite happy about that because while they CAN drive they like watching dirk do it

they're the couple that would have two separate bedrooms but occasionally share a bed

in a non-sburb universe they love thrifting together and jaye wants to decorate stuff like the 1950s/60s and dirk wants to decorate like the 80s so they have rooms that look ripped out of completely different decades. jaye got the kitchen and dirk got the front room

they don't really put a label on their relationship, especially after the stuff that happened with jake & their own experiences with loneliness and acceptance. they know they love each other a lot though

dirk witnessed in real time jaye transition from being "lesbian girl" to "gay transmasc" and it still gives him whiplash thinking about it

jaye fell first but dirk fell harder. he confessed to jaye and jaye was like "I KNOW!! PEOPLE WHO AREN'T IN LOVE DON'T ACT LIKE THAT DIRK"

jaye is a very loud and emotional person in contrast to dirk, so in public if they ever need to do anything jaye is the one to ask employees or other people for help. dirk sometimes is extremely stubborn about it but jaye does it anyway. if anyone except jay or rox tried doing that then dirk would be pissed off forever

they are bipolar (jaye) x borderline (dirk) audhd in love forever

[emojunkdog]

list of jobs i wanted:

hairdresser (i was 4 or 5 years old and my sister had a questionnaire notebook. and one of the questions was "what is your dream job?" i said i dont know. but she said that its not an answer and started to mention different jobs. hairdresser sounded the best for me so i choosed it. she said that im too banal bc a lot of he friends want to be hairdressers. but for some time i told ppl that i want to be a hairdresser. btw now im good at cutting my hair)

actor (still kinda want this. but in childhood i dreamed specifically about a theatre career just bc i always loved those red curtains)

biologist (when i was a kid i wanted it bc my father is)

artist (bc drawing is the only thing ppl praise me for)

toy designer (i created so many toy dog characters and i really would like them to be)

kinologist

serpentologist

truck driver

chocolade taster

writer

dancer

translator

doctor that specializes in syndromes

taxi driver

car racer (so many car related jobs and yet i still cant drive)

linguist (hungarian/finnish/some eastern language)

travel show guy

musician of course

any designer

cartoon maker

journalist

firefighter

cameraman

purple ones are ones i would like to do the most. but i guess its unrealistic. and i cant work like normal ppl do. and everything i create is something too specific to be liked (like who the fuck would like a gay toy dog with mohawk hairstyle, big teeth and waardenburg syndrome)

[agent-flexas]

WATCH GOODTIMESWITHSCAR

[mandareeboo]

ok now im curious what your most petty thing is (regarding the dp post)

Oooh boy, here we go! Buckle up fuckers this is gonna be a longer one.

My senior year of high school, I took a creative writing class. Partially because I needed to fill the slot, mostly because I wanted to improve my writing (spoiler: I did not). Now, my high school was a three floor building- first was mostly gym, second was general, and the third was senior lockers and art classes. I spent a good chunk of my schedule senior year on the second and third floor, going between an art class to my earth science (I took that one entirely as filler, but also bc I like science) to my locker and so on.

Creative writing? Creative writing was in the fucking basement. Go to the first floor, go to a corner generally used for health and development classes, to another corner, follow a ramp and some stairs, and boom there it is kind of basement. (Side note but this teacher was REALLY into attendance and would get you in trouble if you were late which was really annoying since basically no other class was in that part of the building).

My creative writing teacher wasn't bad, per se. I've had worse teachers. I had an algebra teacher who delighted in making freshman girls cry and mocking them for it. I had a journalism teacher who would use her class time reporting how Hilary was secretly ill during the election. I had a history teacher say trans people weren't real to an openly gender nonconforming student (I didn't know them well enough to ask for specifics on their alignment, but they were using they/them at that point) and set up assignments just to mock students on the take they were told to make. It was more that she was uncreative and took it out on the kids doing creative writing.

She gave us two books to read. Basically “how I write” by published authors. I don’t remember the first one well enough and I donated it ages ago, but the second was Stephen King’s “On Writing”. It was 3/4′s personal stories about his life and 1/4′s “also write a bit every day”.  I mostly remember the first author bc she had those fake dreadlocks white people do when they destroy their hair and she gleefully told a story about making her son have a meltdown at a party or wedding or something bc he got overwhelmed and she wanted him to learn that “sometimes you don’t get what you want”. So. You know. Not much there.

She also instructed us to write in a journal every day, which she would check every few months or so. It had to be at least half a page. She would leave little comments in every one else’s journals when she checked them, but not mine- I realized pretty quickly she was a bit uncomfortable with LGBT+ content, so I made it my mission to make every journal drabble as gay as possible bc I was bored and she couldn’t mark them WRONG when she just stated we needed to write.

But it doesn’t end there! Through the entire class, we got exactly five writing projects. Stories that follow very specific guidelines that we would then read in front of the class, group proofread, and then have the teacher give final grades for. These things were approximately like a thousand words a piece, and I was writing out my 10,000 word “It Starts off Small” story in class when I got bored, so it wasn’t difficult. 

Our first project was a character going through a difficult decision. Or... something? I honestly forget the criteria. Anyway, I was HYPE. I’d had this idea for a long time now a human choosing between peaceful death or reincarnation, and this gave me the push to write it! I had a whole thing planned with death being a deer and reincarnation being a wolpertinger (bc reincarnation leads to many possibilities, ed boy, so a Frankenstein bunny made sense to me). Anyway I poured my heart and soul into this bastard and, bright eyed and bushy tailed, handed it in. My classmates all thought it was pretty good. Not to toot m’own horn, but there was some pretty bad ones going in, so I thought I’d get a solid B or something.

I got a D. I guess the struggle was too metaphorical, or it didn’t perfectly fit her criteria. I was devastated. Then I was mad. Bc I was a bored senior who thought they’d made something pretty decent for this completely optional class and her refusal to see that really hurt me at sixteen (I was always a year younger than my other classmates, so despite being a senior I didn’t turn eighteen until almost a year after graduation)

Well, fuck it, I decided. I’m going to parody the shit out of this class.

Our next project was a fantasy story. I was bitter and grumpy. The other fantasy stories read aloud were stuff like “yeah this dude fought a wizard and got a girl, then they went home and banged” (this was not hyperbole, he would’ve written and read the smut if allowed, I knew him personally) and “this girl that NO ONE UNDERSTOOD was called CRAZY but this S@!$ cheerleader who Stole Her Boyfriend so she killed them all” (fun fact: the girl who wrote that was my age and a sort of half-friend from middle school. She was a yaoi fangirl who didn’t mind lesbians as long as they, you know, didn’t FLIRT with her or something.) 

So I get up there. It’s the last day of presentations. And I present with a polite cheer. My story is about two magical shepherd type figures who are called Sister Brighten and Brother Dick as they chase down a werewolf who was drunk off his ass and accidentally bit someone else. They then revealed they were basically supernatural designated drivers for the whole town. I made Brighten mention that Dick’s name wasn’t even Richard. I titled it “His Favorite Brand is Grayhound”. It fit every single criteria. I got an A. I could tell she didn’t want to, because there was no comments or anything like everyone else’s, but she had to follow her own criteria.

Our third was a conjoined effort thing so I didn’t pull any fuckery there, but the fourth one was about common myths and spinning them into real or fake. One girl did the hook-handed door handle thing and the boyfriend ended up above his truck hanging (somehow???). I think someone did the age-old adage of a haunted wedding dress? I kind of read through those presentations. 

Now, I’m salty-salty at this point. I wasn’t expecting His Favorite Brand is Grayhound to get me a good grade. I half-assed a lot of it. I am in full Not Happy Teenager at this point. I grab a daddy long leg and settle in.

My fourth story of the year is “Paperskin.”

Paperskin is about a boy named Billy with the thinnest skin membrane ever. Just full on body horror. You could see his teeth behind his lips. Billy gets bored one day and wanders out of his house, tries to kick a soccer ball, and breaks a leg. As he’s laying in the grass a daddy long leg bites him- and his skin is so flimsy the fangs sink in and he dies. I’m actually still pretty proud of Paperskin. It’s a horrifying, Edgar Allen Poe of a monstrosity, but it made people squirm, which was the point. The teacher is clearly a bit unnerved at this point, but she gives me another A. 

I wrote a more “normal” story after that of a contentious objector forced to house kids going to see if any confirmed soldier deaths were any of their parents as my final one and I could feel her spite as she gave me a B.

So, yeah. That’s the story of when I tormented my creative writing teacher with The Gays and my weird ass sense of humor after she called one of my best works at that age a piece of shit.

 Here’s a google drive of these bad boys, because yes I do still have these things. I turned these fuckers in for grades, people.

[tsuki-sennin]

Aight, fuck it, I'll watch the Hyper Battle DVD.

Uhhhh, I heard that this was pretty cringe, but also it has a Build-based form. Kamen Rider Build is one of my all time favorite TV shows in general so I feel obligated by my fanboy nature to watch it, I like kangaroos, I don't particularly feel like doing anything else, so I say why not?

Spoilers, I guess...

-IKKI, WHO DAT

-Auntie Vice, what the fuck is happening?

-Terebi-kun~!

-Giraffe! Looks... weirdly familiar. ...and uh, I know that Vice disliked the original design of the Jackal Genome, but this looks even lamer. Kinda makes Vice look like a Rokurokubi. Or Lesser Dog from Undertale.

-Chicken? Pyo-pyo?

-Ahhhh, there it is. Kangaroo. I... heard a lot of unkind things about this form. Revi looks cool but... why tho.

-Wow, George continues to get his revenge for Vice's criticisms of his design sense by proving him right.

-DUNG BEETLE!? Oh, that's just cruel.

-Ok, I hear this takes place between Episode 16 and 21? That's quite the nebulous period for Hyper Battle Time, huh?

-Kenta, buddy, we gotta

-Kicked out for being cringe. ...I suspect I'm gonna have to boo pretty loudly at one point.

-Hi Sakura~!

-Koalas are very lazy sons of bitches. They don't even get off their eucalyptus trees to eat other plants! They've been on them for so long that they evolved to basically only eat those leaves!

-Whoop that bitch.

-Muteki~!

-You're welcome~!

-"Thanks :D ...who dat?"

-Ikki, do not disrespect Commander Kadota like that >:O

-Ikki feels very strongly about these weddings.

-Vice, your ships are pretty wack.

-...I do appreciate your fashion sense, though.

-Oooooh, a suit! ...for Aguilera, perhaps?

-Aw, boooo! Not AgiSaku! And on a lesser note, that dress does not look for you Vice. Also WHAT WHAT THE HELL MAN

-Why is goddamn Amazing Grace play at this wedding? This song is for wakes and memorial services

-Father George seems very horny for this fake wedding.

-This special is way too weird, man

-Ohhhhh! Dai-chan! Now you're slaying in that dress!

-Oiiii, Sakura, please.

-...I... am quite uncomfroatble.

-GEORGE STOP

-HEY DEADMAN WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

-KOALA FINALLY

-OK! I think the worst of it is finally over!

-Y'know, George, I think that's a fourth wall break, but I don't think the higher-ups were against this for the reason you're assuming.

-...no, I'm not bringing up Makoto and Kanon, fuck you.

-BRUUUGH HWHYYYYYYYY

-This was a terrible idea, why the fuck did I do this.

-Oh yeah, because I wanna boost engagement

-GEORGE SHUT THE FUCK UP

-KAGERO THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE

-You got 'im!

-DUDE TOOK THE DRIVER

-Where Deadman at?

-OH THAT'S THE DEADMAN

-A babby. It's actually pretty cute looking!

-...oh god.

-Aaaaaand, off he goes!

-Kabedon...

-I think

-Kan-Kan-Kangaroo~!

-Ahhhh, Vice does Fleming's right-hand rule~! That's adorable~!

-...this babby Vice Kangaroo Genome would be too, but uh... we've truly reached our lowest point in Revice so far.

-Best Match~!

-Oh, this looks like the Zenkai Bean Theater. That's a cute touch I guess.

-Australian hell.

-I wonder. When Subaru Kimura and Kentaro Maeda were doing the ADR for these scenes. Did they hear the synopsis before what I assume was the table reading? Did they rehearse it a lot? Did they think this was comedy gold?

-Wow, I am so glad that this guy's wedding business magically repaired itself after Sakura killed that Koala guy the first time and nothing else happened in the past ten minutes of runtime~!

-VICE WHYYYY

-...that "Kobu" oozes contempt.

-Yes! I saw everything! And I feel very bad about it~!

-Kuzu!

-Oh, if that's the case, then Aguilera absolutely will be kicking your ass soon enough~!

-Oh, Dai-chan.

-Oh my god, Kirin, Niwatori, and... Funkorogashi(?) are Grease, Cross-Z, and Rogue! ...that feels like a slap in the balls.

-Well, this Hyper Battle Special had everything about it that I loved about Build! It had very silly and fun comedy in between scenes that made me feel almost overwhelming despair, it featured unusually matched abilities used to great effect, it was very gay, and it will likely make me very sad every time I think about it~!

-Okay, I'd like to extend my deepest apologies to Ms. Ayumi Shimo, she usually does way better than this, I assume Toei handed her an outline of what she had to do for this episode and she had to do the best she could with it. Her work on Kasouken no Onna and Lupin III Part 6 is fantastic, please go check those out if you haven't, I promise that this isn't a reflection of her work.

Oh, and I know I don't use images or gifs or anything like that in these posts, but...

[lovelyirony]

hi! so. a while back (like, a good while back) I found a fanfic for you and you said something about a story/short thing in return? I said I'd take you up on it, but then took an extended leave of absence from Tumblr and never did. anyways, im feeling things about gay dads and also Peter Parker and I was wondering if you could do something with iron husbands and tony's many adopted children, both bots and otherwise? idk. you're amazing.

The first kid that gets adopted, in a sense, is Dum-E. He’s the product of a lot of “you can’t do this” energy. 

People really do think that Tony and Rhodey aren’t capable of creating an Artificial Intelligence unit that can think for itself. 

The final nail in the coffin is when Rhodey is visiting the Stark family home and Obadiah Stane treats their goal dismissively. 

When they get back to their home in Boston, Rhodey sets his jaw. 

“We’re making that fucking system, Tones. I don’t care what happens.” 

“So what you’re saying is that we’re disregarding our previous agreement about limiting lab rules?” 

“Yes. Null and void until we bring this fruition.” 

This is a very important rule. Despite what most would think, Rhodey and Tony are capable of setting limits and following them. But if there is no physical reminder of that rule, then they can ignore it. 

(This is actually just the excuse that they make up so that they can make Machiavellian machines.) 

Dum-E spins around and ruins at least three pairs of socks that Rhodey leaves on the floor. 

“At least you finally stopped that habit,” Tony says. Rhodey rolls his eyes, watching as Dum-E finally realizes that he cannot possibly open the door to the porch and will stop bumping up against the glass. 

"He’s an idiot,” Tony says fondly. 

“Took after his mama,” Rhodey jokes. Tony slaps his arm. 

“Hey!” 

- 

The second and third are twins. Kind of. Both of them absolutely insist that they are not twins because they are very different. After all, U likes alternative pop, which Butterfingers finds simply unforgivable. 

Rhodey and Tony didn’t know that the other was making a robot. Dum-E was lonely, and their anniversary was coming up. 

They both decided to make Dum-E a sibling and laughed as U and Butterfingers basically rolled up to each other and immediately tried to fight. 

“So...who’s first?” Tony asks. 

“Hm...U, I think.” 

Butterfingers sulks. She’s youngest by one day, and U will never let her hear the end of it. 

“I know baby girl,” Tony coos. “But you look so pretty. Look at how nice your dad painted your display!” 

It is rather pretty. It’s all cool with yellows and blues. Dum-E is a jealous. 

- 

Jarvis is more Tony’s than anything. Made after a lonely Christmas. Not the one that most people think. 

Edwin Jarvis died in late November. 

Tony didn’t rest until it was done. 

They sob together as Jarvis states the weather in a crisp, accented tone that sounds so much like the original. 

- 

The siblings all get along like a house on fire, although Rhodey swears that Jarvis loves to instigate drama when Tony doesn’t need it. 

This is how Dum-E and Butterfingers get into a week-long feud about whose turn it is to close the fridge door. This is a Very Important Job. 

Jarvis makes it worse. 

“You are trying to kill me,” Rhodey says, scowling. “You know your brother and sister would fight.” 

“I am a learning program, Colonel Rhodes.” 

“Don’t call me that. Call me anything but that.” 

“Confirmed, Private Rhodes.” 

“I hate you.” 

“You wouldn’t visit my creator so much if you truly meant that.” 

Rhodey gives him the bird, and Jarvis almost huffs. 

He’s an amazing kid, really. 

- 

The next kid isn’t for a while longer. It’s not until a year after the actual event, that Rhodey wasn’t there for. 

So he went by Iron Patriot for a while. Didn’t stick. He’s kind of glad it didn’t. 

This one didn’t even know about Rhodey, which is a travesty. 

It’s a snot-nosed little tween who says he’s not a tween, and his name is Harley Keener. 

“Tony Stark and I are connected,” he says stubbornly. Rhodey let him into the house, not like he’s going to just make this kid stay outside. 

“Like what, through an email chain? Texting?” 

“Life experience,” Tony says. “Hey kiddo. Who the hell let you take a bus all the way here?” 

“Bus drivers.” 

“Ha ha. Where’s your mom?” 

Harley tenses. 

His mother got a new boyfriend. New boyfriend didn’t like Harley or his little sister. Little sister is living with an aunt, and Harley didn’t want to live there. So here he is, in New York. 

“You don’t have to take me in, but I won’t stop bothering you,” Harley says. 

Tony sighs. 

“Come on in, kid. Like I’d let you do anything else.” 

It’s complicated. Rhodey realizes he’s dealing with another Tony with a bit more stubbornness to him and blistering genius. 

He calls his boss. 

“I need to put in my two weeks.” 

“You can’t be serious.” 

“I am.” 

“Why?” 

“Let’s just say I got preoccupied by surprise.” 

“Don’t tell me your guy brought home another bouncing baby robot.” 

“Well...not really. This one’s human.” 

“Christ.” 

Harley loves New York. He manages to navigate far easier than Tony ever could, and he grew up there half his life. Harley learns which bodegas are good, and what food trucks he needs to watch out for. 

He also adjusts to school far easier than expected, although the environment is much better. He’s being challenged, and he has people that can follow him. 

This is when Tony and Rhodey look into Midtown and discover a kid with a lot of promise. 

Spider-Man, technically, isn’t confirmed to go to Midtown. 

But Harley’s a bright kid and realizes that Peter Parker is Spidey. 

It also helps that the makeshift suit is hanging out of his backpack in a back alley. 

Peter gets an internship, and Rhodey laughs as Tony groans. 

“Oh my god, how do kids have so much energy. How.” 

“We were like that.” 

“No we weren’t.” 

“Do you forget we created Dum-E in, like, a week because we ignored the concept of time?” 

“Hm. I choose to forget that. It didn’t happen.” 

Rhodey laughs. 

- 

They all have family nights. The bots are particularly enamored with movies, and drag Harley and Peter out of the lab to watch them. 

It’s Butterfingers’ turn, and she always chooses a soft movie. This time, it’s an old silent film. 

Dum-E likes action movies, so this is not the favorite. 

“Hush, you got to choose last time honey,” Rhodey scolds. “Don’t make me cut off your turn.” 

Dum-E goes silent as Peter snickers, flicking a piece of popcorn at U, who is currently trying to rearrange the furniture. 

(He’s decided he wants to watch videos about interior design this month. He’s very invested in Manifesting His Vision.) 

- 

Tony smiles at Rhodey across the way. Harley had said he wasn’t tired, and now his head is on Rhodey’s leg, and he’s out of the world. Peter’s getting there, yawning into the pillow he’s decided is his. 

U has gone to “charge” although he says he’s Fine, No Charging for Him! 

(Jarvis has to laugh.) 

- 

It’s not the typical family lifestyle. But Tony and Rhodey want anything but typical. 

[yikesharringrove]

the fic you wrote for my last prompt was amazing, ty 😭 can you do 50 + 56 this time please? and if you want to work in dyslexic!steve too that would be awesome! 🥰

You are speaking my fuckin’ language, dyslexic Steve is my ABSOLUTE jam. Honestly, whenever I write Steve, he’s dyslexic, although sometimes it’s not mentioned because it’s not important to Harry’s journey @ jk rowling

Thank you for your request! I’m really glad you liked the other one I wrote! You’re anonymous so I don’t know which one that is but I really enjoyed writing them all! Sorry for my manic energy rn.

Something a little different, it’s modern au! This is probably nothing like what you were thinking so I’m sorry, but I kinda love it ngl.

50: Secret Admirer

56: “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”

Prompt list!

Billy spent three and a half hours reading through every single tweet on the account.

There were so fucking many of them. The earliest one was timestamped from four days ago, so obviously, this person had no life outside of tweeting.

Tweeting about Billy.

He had a few personal favorites. He had retweeted them to his account, figuring may as well play it up, make a joke outta everything.

@ImHardForHargrove: sorry WHOMST gave you the RIGHT to have eyes that fuckin blue im YELLING

@ImHardForHargrove: watchin u play basketball is a religious experience y are ur arms so BIG hhnnnng

And Billy’s absolute favorite, which he pinned right at the top of his account

@ImHardForHargrove: ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass

Billy knew he looked good. Knew he turned heads wherever he went. He did that on purpose. But realizing someone at Hawkins High had set up a thirst account for him, well.

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.” Billy had explained the situation to Robin, letting her go through the account on his phone. “Like, It’s kinda nice, whoever this guy is, he’s got a crush. But also like, It’s kinda creepy. Plus he’s objectifying me,” Billy was talking through his sandwich.

Robin made a face of disgust. “Why do you keep saying ‘he’? All of the girls in this fucking school are practically drooling for you.”

“Hard for Hargrove, Robin. I know you’re like, revolted by the peen and whatever but that does not excuse a lack of basic sexual education and anatomy.” She gagged at him. Honest to God, gagged. He thought she was gonna spew all over the table.

“If I ever hear you call it a peen ever again, it’s on sight Hargrove.” Heather plopped herself down next to Robin, kissing her cheek before zeroing in on Billy’s phone, still in Robin’s hand.

“Have you guys worked out who it could be yet?” Her eyes were wide at Billy.

“Billy says he thinks its a guy even though people with penises aren’t necessarily men.” Robin gave him a pointed look.

“Yeah Robin, I know that, but, I don’t know I just think it’s a guy penis-having person.”

Heather narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you actually think that, or are you just hoping in that goblin little brain of yours that this account is Steve Harrington’s.” Billy could feel the heat spread down his neck.

“Billy, I know Steve is like, the only out guy in this whole fucking town, but you can do way better than him.  PLUS, I feel like it makes more sense if the person running this account wasn’t out and had to channel their gay yearning through social media.”

“First of all Robin, you have this vendetta against Steve that I don’t get. He’s a nice guy. He’s kinda dopey, kinda dumb, but he’s like, sweet and shit. Second, I’m not out, so it still could be him because he doesn’t think I would, like, accept his advances or whatever. Hence, gay internet yearning.” The chime of the bell sent them packing their lunches, Billy’s phone vibrated in Robin’s hand. She rolled her eyes when he realized he turned on notifications for the account

“Get a fucking life you loser.” She slapped the phone into his hand. He opened the new tweet with embarrassing zeal.

@ImHardForHargrove: i saw u talking with ur mouth full and it was yucky but i was still  🥺🥺

His head shot up, trying to see who would have been facing him during lunch, but the cafeteria was almost empty.

The rest of the week Billy took deliberate care of every interaction he had with anyone. Observing who was in his surroundings, and making note of everything he did and said. He took extra caution around Steve, wanting to spot any minute detail that could give away who ran the account.

The account started blowing up. People were retweeting like fucking crazy. Everywhere he went, he was being asked if he’s seen it, like he doesn’t regularly retweet the good ones. The search for the owner of the account had spread throughout the whole school. A few girls even tried to claim the account was theirs, but every time that happened the account would tweet out something to discredit whoever made the claim, proving them a liar.

Billy was starting to lose hope it was Harrington. The tweets were coming at all different times, posted whenever the person thought about it, so Billy was losing track of who was near when he said or did something. And the tweets were always about stupid stuff Billy didn’t register doing. On Wednesday night the account said

@ImHardForHargrove: hi when you chew on your pencil and it makes me 🥴 that is all thx for comin to my ted talk

Friday afternoon gave them all:

@ImHardForHargrove: walked past ur classroom and u were asleep ive never wanted to CUDDLE someone so bad in my LIFE

But Saturday, Saturday renewed all hope for Harrington Billy could possibly have. Lauren Kranz was throwing a party. It was the first real rager in a while, so everyone was there, and everyone was sloshed. Everyone but Billy, who’d agreed to be designated driver for Robin and Heather like some kinda idiot.

He was brooding on the back porch when his phone went off. The account was active, and the owner was drunk.

@ImHardForHargrove: I can seeeeee u oyt the windw I wan u 2 FUC ME. RAW DOG.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry ur so beauitiful nd THICCC

@ImHardForHargrove: I wana shoot my shot but idk if u lik bois

@ImHardForHargrove: (ys i am boi)

@ImHardForHargrove: nd i dont wana get my heart broken agin 😥

He was right about it being a guy. He was right about him being too nervous to approach him outright. His brain was screaming stevestevesteve at him. Hawkins was shook when Steve came out as bisexual in his sophomore year. He was the golden boy, a real jock. He was NOT the kind of guy people would assume queer in a small midwestern town.

He was kind of a douchebag, dumping one girl for another, sleeping with her and never calling again. But then he settled down with this guy from the University of Indianapolis for a few months until Steve caught him cheating. Apparently, he had slashed the guy’s tires. Billy was impressed.

The next year came Wheeler, who only stuck around long enough to make sure Steve was nice and whipped before she fucked off on him too. So Steve retreated. Spent more time with middle schoolers than anybody else. Didn’t want to put his heart on the line anymore until he knew it wouldn’t be stomped on.  Billy could respect that.

Billy couldn’t risk being out in a town like Hawkins. Word always had a way of getting right back to his dad, and in a tiny hick town with nothing better to do than gossip, it was usually only a matter of hours before Neil heard something he didn’t like.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry 4 bad typing rn. drunk nd dysl exic ren’t a happy combo

Billy’s heart stopped. The drunken idiot was giving himself away. Maybe if he sat here staring at the account long enough, enough would be revealed he could figure it all out like a shitty drunk episode of Blue’s Clues.

He was so focused on Twitter, refreshing his feed, again and again, he didn’t notice a very drunk, and very unsteady Steve Harrington stumbling out the back door towards him. Until he crashed into his back.

“Sorry, Bill!” Billy had Steve by the shoulders trying to keep him upright. “Heyy I have a question for you.” Steve grabbed one of Billy’s hands and veered over to the table and chairs arranged neatly on the small patio. When they were sitting, Steve kept ahold of Billy’s hand.

“Hi.” Steve was smiling like a little kid. Billy was in fucking love.

“hey, Harrington. What was your question.”

“So-oo. I have this friend. A very good friend. Super close. And he has a big ol’ crush on you but he’s too scared to ask you himself because he keeps getting his heart fuckin’ broken so he wanted me to ask. Are you into guys?” It’s a miracle Billy understood any of that, every word blending into the next.

“That depends.” Billy leaned in, running his tongue along his bottom lip. He saw Steve take in a sharp breath, following the movement with his glazed eyes. He knew Steve was talking about himself, he just wanted to rile him up a little. Make him blush first. “This friend you’re talkin’ about. He’s our age? Like you’re not trying to set me up with one a’ your kids, right?” Steve physically recoiled.

“NO, you fuckin’ pedo. I’m NOT trying to set you up with a fuckin’, fuckin’ middle schooler. My friend is, uh eighteen. He’s a senior.” Unless Tommy fuckin’ H. suddenly had a penchant for dick Billy didn’t know about, Steve was 100% talking about himself.

“Well, if he’s as pretty as you are, I’d love to go out with him sometime.” Billy winked. Steve went red.

“Okay, but like, does that mean you’d go out with me? Like I’m as pretty as me, right? Because I was talking about me. Not ‘a friend’ I was talking about me. Steve.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured that out. You know, I was hoping it was you running that Twitter. Any time you’d tweet out something you wanted to do with me, I was always picturin’ doing it with you, Baby.” Billy was practically purring. “Especially all the shit you wanted me to do TO you.” Steve gave something between a whine and a groan and flopped himself onto Billy’s lap, straddling him with very little grace.

“Thank God. ‘Cause you’re so fucking hot I’d let you do anything to me. Anything, Bill.” Billy smiled softly at him.

“Then let me take you home. Let me put you in bed to sleep off all this. And let me take you to breakfast tomorrow. Something nice and greasy for your hangover tummy.” Steve was a puddle in Billy’s lap. “C’mon, Drunky, git your ass up.” Steve just giggled and muttered Drunky Skunky under his breath.

Billy sighed and stood up, hefting Steve up with him.

“Bil-ly,” Steve whined. “You’re so strong, this is so fucking hot. I gotta tweet about this.”

“Tweet it later, Sweet Thing.”

It took Billy for-fucking-ever to find Robin and Heather (they were making out in the basement with the stoners). But Steve chirped and cooed into his ear, so happy Billy could lift him and hold him like it was nothing.

The last tweet from the account was timestamped from Sunday evening.

@ImHardForHargrove: Hi this is Steve. Billy’s my boyfriend now 🥰#ThirstWorks

[morethanonepage]

hello. do you have any anti-recommendations for movies and/or tv shows? what should one avoid at all costs? I eagerly await your roasts. thank you.

do not watch any aaron sorkin property, ever. the good ones will make you Believe In Things & that is like, utterly cringe and twitter leftists won’t like you. the bad ones will make you scream about how a 59 y/o man with less technological literacy than a facebook dad thinks he’s With It when it comes to The Internet & also somehow thinks the 50s were the height of democracy, decorum, and civil responsibility bc all the men wore suits or w/e.

don’t watch knives out, unless you’re really DYING to see some the-parents-in-Get-Out level virtue signaling COMBINED with a loving reinterpretation of the Ultimate Bootstrapping Myth (being RAISED with money makes you shit but being the one to EARN money makes you like, the best & kindest ever, apparently). 

i mean watch LOT if you must but i don’t know if you should be encouraging whoever it is that continues to siphon the money out of the costuming, make up, and set design and also the writers room budgets.

stop rewatching parks and rec, or at the very least leave off before the last season that puts for the hilariously earnest contention that Gentrification Is Good, Actually; All Love Is Valid, But Traditional Hetero Marriage + 2.5 Kids Is The Most Valid; and What Are Gay Men But Ridiculous Buffoons for Our Enjoyment? 

stop watching anything put out by disney co. you don’t need disney plus. you don’t need to pay for another star war property. yes that includes baby yoda. there is no ethical consumption under capitalism etc but honestly advocating for the importance of representation in media and railing against the media monopolies and capitalism in general while also marching right into the next MCU release and investing emotionally (& financially) in it like the good little corporate sheep you are is uhhhhh hypocritical as fuck and also like. they’re not that good, and by paying to go see them, again and again, you’re encouraging them to still be shit. STAR WARS IS THAT BAD BECAUSE YOU KEEP PAYING FOR IT.

also while we’re here: just because the dceu isn’t as bad as the mcu doesn’t mean it’s good. just bc you feel bad about the dceu being the scrappy underdog trying to do something ~new doesn’t mean you have to pretend the movies are good or deep or anything but a cash grab for the grumpy white fanboys who hate the MCU because iTs FoR BaBiEs. mostly -- they are not good. sometimes, they are fine. and if they are bad, you don’t have to watch them. like, the WB and its $5 billion net worth will survive, i promise.

all the xmfc movies are bad. You know how Jeremy Renner brings such straight bro energy to Clint Barton that he ruins the character? That, but Michael Fassbender as Magneto. Disgusting! Homophobic! An insult to the good name of Ian McKellen!! No thank you! 

oh wow a Superheros Are Bad, Actually deconstruction? No thanks, I'll just catch the next one

More Movie Types To Avoid: do they whitewash Oscar Isaac? Then say no fuck you and be on your way. Just Say No to Dune, W.E., that Robin Hood movie w/ Russell Crowe, Life Itself, etc. (see also: movies that claim Adam Driver is Jewish. I mean...don’t see, also. and yes i do count star wars in this!!!)

Also congrats to one N*il G*im*n & Amazon dot com for turning a book that was hugely formative to me and a genuinely an optimistic but clear sighted allegory about the Cold War in specific/meaningless divisions between people in general, into a miniseries that’s thirsty, over- acted and produced, thematically messy, twee, and doesn’t even properly commit to it’s try-hard wokeness. Like I would say don’t watch it but everyone already has so 🤷🏻‍♀️

and finally, ultimately, my most earnest/beseeching plea: you 👏don’t 👏have 👏 to 👏watch 👏something 👏just 👏because 👏Everyone 👏Else 👏Is 👏Watching 👏It. it’s 2020. we’ve all got other shit to do. your friends will understand, and if not, you can fake it based on gifsets alone. 

[sleepypeaky]

{getaway}-pt 2

Reader is the Blinder’s chauffeur….naturally that entails getaway driving too

Part 2/4 ----------part 1

also this was unintentional but the reader is gender neutral 

WC: 826

A/n: set between season 3 and 4???????? i think that matches the time

also this kind of went off the rails from what it was supposed to be but oh well i got carried away

 tnis is so fun to write so try and stop me. this may turn out to be a Finn x reader?? idk?? finn is my wife?? but he also smol gay boi?? im confused. but idk yet. 

1925

You knew that becoming a chauffeur for a gang would entail a bit of getaway driving,,, but this was fantastic.

Tommy was mostly right, you were a chauffeur.

You picked up Ada and brought her to meetings, shuttled Polly around whenever she liked, naturally became the designated driver for Finn. Tommy utilized you mostly; you picked him up at arrow house and brought him to Alfie sometimes, sometimes just shuttled him between Small Heath and Arrow house.

But, sometimes you brought arthur, john, sometimes tommy (but rarely),  to a location, only for them to go inside and come out a few minutes later and jump in the car. Naturally you stomped on the gas and shot them to safety. You’re not sure how much Tommy knows of this part of your job. He truly does want you to stay out of trouble. But this is far too fun to pass up.

One thing you noticed was the difference between their treatment of you, and their treatment of Finn. Because although you were both the same age, you obviously had more responsibility and involvement in the company. You could tell Finn hated it. 

But as time when on he realized you posed no threat to him and he warmed up to you. 

You began having long conversations when you had to drive him places, you could tell that you were the only person to ever really ask him things.

You thought you could even out the scores by teaching him to drive. You drove to an empty shipping yard and showed him how, i mean it was pretty self explanatory but you helped him still. 

On on occasion, you were playing cards inside the betting shop with Finn and Isiah, you awaiting orders and them just messing around. 

You leaned back in your chair and swung your feet onto the table, looking ar your hand of cards. You surveyed the others.

“Finn you’re bleeding.” You drawled.

He looked confused and scanned his extremities for wounds.

“No stupid, i mean i can see all your cards.” You smirked.

“Damn it (y/n) why would you ruin this for me!” Isiah whined, obviously cheating.

Finn blushed red and folded his cards closer to hide them from you.

ringggggg

You all jumped at the sudden ring of the phone.

You answered.

“Yeah.” You grunted, tapping out your cigarette.

“Oi its john come quick we need backup at the factory, it them fuckin’ paddys again–”

Before you could tell him there was no backup he hung up.

You leapt to your feet and grabbed your coat,

“They need help at the factory get in the car!”

Isiah and Finn followed you, obviously excited. ( i mean isiah was used to it but finn was finally involved.)

You slammed the car door and lit the engine. The familiar roar started up and you looked to make sure both boys were in the car. 

You turned back to the road and slammed on the gas.

Everyone got pushed backwards by the force of the acceleration. You could hear Isiah loading his gun in the back seat and Finn nervously fingered the blades of his hat.

You arrived to the factory 5 miles away in about a minute.You could hear gunfire and shouting before you rounded the corner.

You slammed on the brakes and all leapt out in unison. 

Isiah threw you a gun and ran around the corner. 

Finn attempted to follow him but you grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back against the brick wall of the building. He struggled against you.

“What the fuck let me go!”

You looked around the corner to see what was happening,

“I can’t let you go until we know you won’t get shot in the face!”

“You let Isiah go!”

“Yeah but one, he knows what he’s doing, and two, i’m not being paid to make sure he doesnt die.”

“That’s not what your job is!”

“Isnt it?” You glanced around the corner again. You could hear John’s voice. 

“Come on.” You hissed and you ran around the corner.

You could see John in the supply yard looking around for more assailants. When he saw you two nearing him he threw up his hands.

“Why the fuck are you here!? Where's backup!?” And then, “Finn wha’ the fuck do you think you’re doing here!?”

“We are backup!” You yelled back. 

You all ducked when you heard more shots fired, but relaxed when Arthur and Isiah came out of the factory.

“All gone.” Arthur said. “Finn what the fu–”

“Am i doing here? yeah i’m your fuckin’ backup.” He crossed his arms.

You shook you head, putting your gun into your jacket pocket.

“Ok i’m out. I’ll be in the car for when you stop bickering like school girls.” You began to walk away and then turned back. 

“i better be getting a fucking wad of cash for this!”

And then you continued back to the car.

__________________

[ocdhuacheng]

tros review (based on the stuff i can remember, bc im prob forgetting to add some things)

the good:

1. FORCE SENSITIVE FINN STANS RISE

2. jannah!!!!!! i love her!!!!! and her crew of deserters that was cool. and i love that there are more people for finn to relate too they would be such a good support system for eachother :)

3. the scenes with the resistance, they good

4. cinematography, and set/scene design were good

5. look i hate hux hes a genocidal bastard but he was so funny in this movie

6. any scene with luke skywalker

7. BRO. JODIE COMER WAS IN IT!!! FOR LIKE 10 SECONDS BUT STILL

8. rey calling herself a skywalker at the end

9. that little wheel droid

10. while finn should have had a bigger role in the movie, the stuff he had was fun

11. the acting was good, but im completely sure that a lot of the time, they had to fucking act through their teeth what with how bad the story was

12. thye flashback to leia and luke training together, and leia actually being trained in lightsaber fighting was cool

13. the hug between finn poe and rey was really sweet :’)

14. lando was awesome!!! and i hope he and jannah get close, he can be her new father figure that she never had

15. rey shooting lightning at that ship was super cool i gotta admit. (edit, also palpatine disbling the ships was like. yeah okay that was epic)

16. YELLOW LIGHTSABER YEEHAW

the bad:

1. everything else

2. they gave kyle ron a redemption he didnt deserve. he is irredeemable full stop. fuck off kyle. i had to take my glasses off in some of his scenes because i couldnt stand that the writers were trying to make me sympathize with him it was so cringey 

3. they made REY sympathize with him???????? after he TORTURED AND ABUSED HER, KILLED AND HURT HER FRIENDS, WAS COMPLICIT IN THE DESTRUCTION OF LIKE 10 PLANETS, IS A LITERAL GENOCIDAL FASCIST, ETC??????????????????????????????????????? completely out of character, super misogynist, rey deserved better. she is NOT a fascist sympathizer i cant believe they made her into one. and it came out of NOWHERE, like. she wouldnt act like that. literally NO ONE would act all lovey dovey and sympathetic like that, especially not a girl towards her abuser

4. the writers fucking caved to the reylos im SO PISSED. WHEN BOTH DAISY RIDLEY AND ADAM DRIVER BOTH SAID THEY DIDNT SUPPORT THE SHIP BECAUSE ITS FUCKING ABUSE DUH WHAT THE FUCK. when they k*ssed i  groaned so loud i bet the entire theater heard me. and everyone else was laughing awkwardly it was so bad

5.  this was a problem in tlj too but the fact that finn was not the main male lead. this is supposed to be HIS and rey’s story, not KYLOS and reys. HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER, HE WAS MARKETED AS A MAIN CHARACTER, KYLE WAS MARKETED AS THE ANTAGONIST, HE WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE THE MALE LEAD AND ITS SO FUCKING RACIST HOW THEY SIDELINED FINN LIKE THAT

6. leia dying for kylo

7. literally the 2 main women, rey and leia, were made into plot devices for kylos redemption and it was so gross.

8. okay make the latino into a flirty drug dealer thats not a stereotype at all

9. speaking of poe, they forced him to be straight just as a spiteful fuck you to oscar and all the lgbt fans like we get it you hate us. i wasnt expecting them to make him gay because its disney but you did NOT have to do that. that was completely malicious

10. seriously, they made rey get with KYLE, when finn was RIGHT THERE????????? it was even hinted that he was even going to confess to her in the sand pit!!!!!!!! like i know finnpoe wasnt going to happen, as much as i love it, but finnrey was JUST AS GOOD as finnpoe, and made SO MUCH SENSE, AND THEYRE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING WITH THAT BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP THAT THEY HAVE?????? HELLO??

11. bringing palpatine back was super lazy and really weird. (not sure how i feel about rey being his granddaughter but like, that also means that he FUCKED at some point which is. hilarious) (no i definitely think the decision to make rey a palpy was. uuuuuuuh. i'm just so shocked it yeeted all emotions about it out of me except for a vague confusion)

12. also kyle has officially become one of my top 5 least favorite characters of all time (with b*kugo, toby stank, b*lly h*rgrove, and h slur from hxh) just because the writers are trying to push him on me that hes a good guy. like in the force awakens i was pretty neutral on him as a character, because i thought that, after he killed han, that they were just going to make him straight up the bad guy, like his arc was over, he had finally completely fallen to the dark side and that was that, and would have been satisfied with that because a series like this needs a bad guy, and adam driver played him well, but they just kept pushing his redemption on me (and also his stans are intolerable) that i started to hate him, and its just. UUUUUGH he had SO MANY CHANCES TO GO TO THE GOOD SIDE, hes like THIRTY YEARS OLD hes not A CHILD, HE NEEDS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS ACTIONS, HE CANT JUST BE REDEEMED AFTER EVERYTHING HE DID. he had his chance. he is irredeemable. 

13. the “””””gay rep””””” was pathetic but its not like i was expecting anything better

 overall:

hmmmmm...... bad. i liked parts of it but over all. bad. clownfest. the actors did the best with what they were given and i respect that. i DONT respect the writers you guys are all clowns i cant believe some of the decisions they made. who thought this was a good idea???? 

anyway. i would watch an edited version of it where its like, everything but kyles r*d*mpt**n and rey being made into a tool for him and also edit out the parts w palpatine that cunt should have stayed dead (the dubstep lightning tho....... epic)

anyway. much better than tlj which isnt saying much. rn id give it 5/10 which might change as i think about it more idk, but yeah, it was fast paced, there were cool/fun moments that i really did like! but its just. the overall writing, especially surrounding rey, kylo, and palpatine was so bad it ruined it. and ofcourse they actually made rey and kyle k. ..  🤢🤢🤢, they had them ki 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 i cant,, i cant say it

[banditchika]

we all know claudine could walk down the street and get any girl she wanted. what about everyone else though? how would you rank them in terms of Girl Pickup Power

okay in terms of success rating it’d go like this

1) kuro: self evident. charm. poise. wit. looks!! she goes up to talk to a gal n even if nothing comes out of it, she’ll leave a girl feeling rlly good ab herself n with one hell of a story to tell!! fey-like charisma n the energy of a mysterious 1920s party crasher who saunters in w/o an invite n steals ppl’s drinks w a sly little smile, knowing that everyone attending is too smitten to try n stop her

2) karen: girl stopped on the way to the most important audition of her life to get down on one knee n dramatically declare her intention to help an old lady get her groceries, that’s Pure Princely Puppy Energy. karen’s got so much confidence n aplomb; even if her success rate is lower than kuro’s, in terms of pure “make girls feel amazing ab themselves n have a great day” energy?? karen is peerless

3) nana: i doubt she’d try it w/ actual serious intent but nana knows what she looks like!! she knows she can get it!! nana has a mischievous side to her, so i think she’d enjoy making girls blush n paying them attention, so long as everyone knows she’s not seriously looking for anything. she’s tall, she’s strong, she’ll give you baked goods--nana doesn’t have kuro’s charm or karen’s sheer puppy boldness, but she has just enough confidence to go for it n tbh?? what’s not to like ab nana?? 

4) futaba: she’s so handsome. she’s like the rugged, wholesome n down-to-earth love interest in a Certain Kind of romance novels who’s just so very normal n so very reliable n therefore, extremely loveable!! futaba’s the kind of girl you marry, yknow, but the fact that she herself is So Very Married knocks her way down the rungs of this ranking. in terms of capability she’s right where she’s supposed to b but girl uhaul’d before she even turned 10, probably. still, girls love her, n for good reason!! futaba is a Catch(TM)

5) mahiru: she’s got the beef n she’s kind, sweet, n so very strong n were it not for a crippling lack of self-esteem n the fact that mahiru is a “bring ur girlfriend home to meet the family after the second date” kind of gal, girls would b all over her for a good time!! it’s kuro’s mission to make a ladykiller out of mahiru (or really to just. give her enough confidence to borrow one of kuro’s croptops bc mon dieu its a crime to just HIDE all that away mahiru!!! flaunt it!!) but mahiru’s just too much of a domestic lesbian... all she wants a girl (or couple of girls) to bring back home to the farm n help out w the harvest. she has the assets but little actual pickup ability or desire, so here she is.... laying low.... 

6) junna: i think i’ve said before that she’s really a weirdly confident lesbian, but also, like... her interest in picking up girls is in the negatives. junna doesn’t do casual; she has to already b at a certain level of closeness to even Consider kissing a girl, so she’s automatically kicked down the rankings bc of that alone. but she also has additional personality handicaps bc junna’s the most charming after you’ve known her for a little while, so even tho she’s basically made of girlfriend material, junna radiates so much designated driver energy that girls kind of. swerve her. junna’s endearing quirks n ~suaver~ side takes time to emerge, n even then she doesn’t like to show them easily. junna’s greatest assets: her kindness, understanding, patience, etc etc etc r all things that reveal themselves w/ time n tribulation, so her ability to go to, idk, a bar n successfully get a girl to hit on her?? negative. she’ll just sit there n drink soda for three hours then go home n her friends love her for it

7) maya: “oh bandit but she’s so cool n girls love her how can she possibly b ranked so low” yeah girls love to LOOK at her but remember ep 6?? maya walked towards a cluster of her friends n classmates n everyone shut up so fast. maya is appreciated like a fine oil painting: fun to look at n talk about but r u gonna take her home?? r u gonna make sweet love to the painting?? cook breakfast for her in the morning?? even if she goes to a place where no one knows her n she can just b another gorgeous girl looking for another girl to pick up, i don’t think maya would b Very Good at doing romance outside of her community of theatre gays. she can get someone to have tea w her easily enough, but the girl walks away from the encounter feeling as tho she’s just had a nice outing w her beloved grandma rather than a date w a hot stranger. maya’s passion n fire come out in a stage setting n if u put her outside of that, she’s more than content to just putter around rather unsexily. add that to the fact that ppl don’t pique her interest easily, so she has no real desire to go out of her way to interact meaningfully w the average stranger, n u have another designated driver type to keep junna company  

8) kaoruko: she’s gorgeous n a power lesbian n im sure her accent attracts more than a few admirers, but also consider: she’s very married and very, VERY shy. hitting on strangers out of the blue?? no way, not for her. she’ll leave that to kuro n sit on futaba’s lap so no one else gets any bright ideas. i think kaoruko would LOVE to watch her friends run around trying to get some, but actually participating?? not for her 

9) hikari: hikari. i think it’s pretty self explanatory by virtue of personality why she’s so low!! before her england revue i think she might actually have ranked pretty high; she was so energetic then, n even as a kid she had her head screwed on well from what i remember. but the hikari now is hard to engage conventionally, so take her out to the hypothetical bar scene that i’ve constructed n she’ll likely be trying to order the weirdest, most dangerous sounding things on the menu n not paying attention at all to any girls throwing admiring glances her way. i think she appreciates girls!! i also think that she believes she has all the girls she needs, so there’s no need to try n pick up any more, ykno??

[quackspot]

imagine someone just going 1-200 and you have to answer 200 questions for a stranger

well u better strap up becuase im about to do it

200: My crush’s name is: i dunno who do u think my crush’s name is199: I was born in: a year which is 2004198: I am really: a homo sapien197: My cellphone company is:  i think its samsung196: My eye color is: brown195: My shoe size is: 9 or 9.5 i think just 9194: My ring size is: WAIT RINGS HAD SIZES????? i dunno193: My height is: 5′4 ISH but i just say 5′4 because im actually really sensitive about my height and the less than an inch that brings me to 5′4 makes me somewhat happier with myself192: I am allergic to: maybe dustmites 191: My 1st car was: not yet190: My 1st job was: NOT YET189: Last book you read: technically a book called Dad Jokes theyre really funny jokes but if you mean story with plot then probably Grand & Humble unless if you include everything then yesterday i peeked in some books188: My bed is: a bed which i sleep in and that’s pretty much it actually i havent really made my bed in a while 187: My pet: jax and nibsy r the family pets jax is a shih-poo shihtzu poodle mix and nibsy is a cat186: My best friend: my brother185: My favorite shampoo is: shampoo184: Xbox or ps3: hard choice there’s xbox overall and little big planet this is actually a very hard choice lksiiro3jedsklmf,gsda little big planet is great........................183: Piggy banks are: piggy banks. theyre great182: In my pockets: I DONT HAVE POCKETS IM A WOMAN181: On my calendar: whats a calendar lol!!!!180: Marriage is: marriage 179: Spongebob can: dodod od odo dodooo178: My mom: IS GREAT i lov her shes a good mom177: The last three songs I bought were? i dont buy songs i listen to them176: Last YouTube video watched: i mean im listening to boyfriend big time rush on youtube right now but if you mean actual watching its snufkin saying “hi moomin” to moomin a quick 6 second clip175: How many cousins do you have? i duno174: Do you have any siblings? yeah173: Are your parents divorced? yeah172: Are you taller than your mom? probably not :(171: Do you play an instrument? i play the trumpet i did it today and it was really boring i dont want to go to any more graduations not even my own170: What did you do yesterday? things[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: not really but somewhat and i like it because its a fun little thing to put in fiction 168: Luck: yea im very lucky167: Fate: its my destiny to die someday . . .. .  in the futuuuuuuuuuuure

166: Yourself: as far as im aware no165: Aliens: yeah probably164: Heaven: i know it probably isnt real but i cant help believing163: Hell:i know it probably isnt real but i cant help believing162: God: only to blame them for stuff161: Horoscopes: yea theyre fun to read160: Soul mates: ehehehehehhe fun in fanfiction and would greatly b ok with it irl159: Ghosts: who else would hold my hand at night...... not even a ghost :) (but yea i do believe in them when i grow up i wana be a ghost)158: Gay Marriage: why wouldnt i believe in gay marriage 157: War: what is it good for156: Orbs: borb155: Magic: i like magic so i will believe in it [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: yes153: Drunk or High: probably high i guess152: Phone or Online: ONLINE151: Red heads or Black haired: black haired 150: Blondes or Brunettes: BRUNETTES dude blondes r ok but i personally like darker hair149: Hot or cold: hot148: Summer or winter: SUMMER I HATE WINTER SO FUCKIGNT OASJKU*($@IRWJKOSDIUOKLJEZUDIFLK:LDSK:LKF:LJIODSKZVDJFKL mostly becuase i hate being cold and i hate snow becuase i have to shovel snow and its so cold147: Autumn or Spring: either one 146: Chocolate or vanilla: choc o late145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: apples143: Curly or Straight hair: curly but i guess straight is ok142: McDonalds or Burger King: burbger king good milkshakese141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: idk uhh milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: pc139: Flip flops or high heals: neither......138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and rich i can just buy surgeries to make me prettier lmao137: Coke or Pepsi: coke136: Hillary or Obama: i dont wanna answer this :(((((( i dont like being bullied135: Burried or cremated: cremated babye put me in the flames ;3c134: Singing or Dancing: i like singing i like dancing i like trains 133: Coach or Chanel: what132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are these people131: Small town or Big city: im just a mere small town babye ;3c big cities sound scary 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target has the good cheeseballs129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: i only know adam sandler128: Manicure or Pedicure: i dont do my nails 127: East Coast or West Coast: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh both are coasts126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday i get more gifts then uwu125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: disney because idk what six flags is isnt it a restaurant or something123: Yankees or Red Sox: a baseball bat [ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: what is it good for!121: George Bush: idk 120: Gay Marriage: yeah gay rights119: The presidential election: im not that into politics so i dont understand the elections and i dont think their fair since i get all my facts from adam ruins everything this isnt even a joke118: Abortion: pro choice i dont giv a crap about some lifeless baby. its only alive if it can properly move its arms or cry or feel.117: MySpace: haha dead116: Reality TV: idk 115: Parents: theyre parents 114: Back stabbers: ow my back113: Ebay: website.... money112: Facebook: lizard man111: Work: what110: My Neighbors: idk who they are but my old neighbor was one of my best friends i should talk to him this summer109: Gas Prices: probably too high108: Designer Clothes: clothes107: College: something i dont plan on going to any time soon106: Sports: something i dont plan on doing any time soon105: My family: a family104: The future: spooky. very scary. idk what my job will be[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: idk (update it was today)102: Last time you ate: 4:13 ish i made ramne101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: i duno100: Cried in front of someone: today i suppose i almost cried???? maybe my dentist appointment a few weeks ago??99: Went to a movie theater: lego movie 2 i think98: Took a vacation: 6th grade im in 9th grade now its been like 3 years97: Swam in a pool: over 1 year i dont go to the pool anymore96: Changed a diaper: NEVER AND I NEVER PLAN ON IT95: Got my nails done: i duno94: Went to a wedding: i also dunno its been too long93: Broke a bone: not that i can recal92: Got a peircing: never and never will91: Broke the law: i duno90: Texted: just now i told my mommy to pick me up it wasl ike 1 hour ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: me88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my momy and nibsy and jax and probably zach but he’d already move out by the time i leave87: The last movie I saw: i dont remember probably lego movie 2 or osmething on tv86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: next year drama club85: The thing im not looking forward to: dying?????? idk man 84: People call me: moto moto (not really idk what they call me)83: The most difficult thing to do is: the most difficult thing82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never though i probs will someday81: My zodiac sign is: aquarius sun leo moon aries rising80: The first person i talked to today was: probably kiley79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten i think78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: myself77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: idk76: Right now I am talking to: nobody 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: *has a crisis over my future plans as i do not know*74: I have/will get a job: im gona work at target or burger king next year maybe it depends on if they like me73: Tomorrow: 5/20..............72: Today: today71: Next Summer: in a theater near u70: Next Weekend: my first summer weekend 69: I have these pets: I ALREAD YSAID WHAT PETS I HAVE I LOVE NIBSY WITH ALL MY HEART and jax with some extra parts of my heart68: The worst sound in the world: a sound67: The person that makes me cry the most is: me66: People that make you happy: me65: Last time I cried: ealier today64: My friends are: online63: My computer is: on62: My School: is a school61: My Car: nonexistent 60: I lose all respect for people who: are really mean and seem to hate people for being happy. people who make jokes that make me uncomfortable. i generally avoid them.59: The movie I cried at was: all of them58: Your hair color is: brown57: TV shows you watch: idk56: Favorite web site: idk probs youtube55: Your dream vacation: nowhere 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: A FEW WEEKS AGO I GOT STITCHES IN MY MOUTH AND IT REALLY HURT UGHGTUERIJOKFLDc53: How do you like your steak cooked: edible52: My room is: a room51: My favorite celebrity is: myslef..... just kidding idk any celebs 50: Where would you like to be: where i am 49: Do you want children: no 48: Ever been in love: hoo ha hoo ha i duno how love feels exactly47: Who’s your best friend: MY BROTHER46: More guy friends or girl friends: guys i think 99% of my friends are my brothers friends so45: One thing that makes you feel great is: being happy44: One person that you wish you could see right now: nobody right now but sometimes kiley43: Do you have a 5 year plan: 5 years??? haha no i only plan on using savings accounts to make a bit more money and MAYBE moving to kiley but idk for sure since i like my parents and my brother and my parents plan on driving around in an rv but idk man moving to another state would be HARD and im kinda lazy and i’d have to get a whole new driver’s license 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no41: Have you pre-named your children: lmao all my ideas are jokes40: Last person I got mad at: probably myslef39: I would like to move to: my bed???????38: I wish I was a professional: personer. talker. socialer. [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: probably snickers or a salted nut roll36: Vehicle: big car. tahoe shape. tahoe size. idk. something like a tahoe thats my only reference35: President: I Don’t Care34: State visited: probably florida its the only one of 3 states i’ve been to33: Cellphone provider: what32: Athlete: WHAT31: Actor: idk 30: Actress: idk29: Singer: not me? me? idk28: Band: taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally hall??? ? ?? ? ?? ? ? ? I DONT KNOWIJ DSKJZLFKSJKLDSHDLfjklskl;fdkl;sfk;laf 27: Clothing store: i legit have like no faves god this is the hardest part26: Grocery store: target probably25: TV show: maybe the simpsons???24: Movie: idk ive seen a lot of movies23: Website: one of them22: Animal: one of them21: Theme park: universal studios20: Holiday: none of them theyre all ok but ??? meh19: Sport to watch: none.18: Sport to play: idk i dont like being competitive but??????? gym class is a fun sport! :)17: Magazine: none of them16: Book: one of them15: Day of the week: wednesday sounds like a good day. maybe sundays. 14: Beach: what13: Concert attended: frankly the only concerts i’ve been to are my own12: Thing to cook: probably ramen11: Food: cheeseballs??????? burger king milkshake, a drink?10: Restaurant: buuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrger kiiiiiiiiiiing?9: Radio station: 101.9 kelo eff emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm8: Yankee candle scent: what7: Perfume: what6: Flower: what5: Color: red or purple4: Talk show host: wha

3: Comedian: i duno2: Dog breed: one of them1: Did you answer all these truthfully?  yeah i tried but i kinda gave up slightly after i came back from a graduation party though i also kind of gave up from the start so

[asbigastheskybook]

The one where Tak and Emory go to a party in their kigurimi

Spring break had come and gone and on a foggy night in early April, the Shark and the Hedgehog sauntered up the dark streets of Berkeley, walking from Shattuck BART to Haste, up to College Avenue. They held hands as they walked in shadows, enjoying the quiet spring night once they were above Telegraph. They were headed to a place near the Julia Morgan building for a party put on by the Pan-Asian student union. It was to be an Animal Onesie themed party to raise money for a member of the union who was battling leukemia while trying to finish her masters degree. They wore the onesies Emory’s aspiring fashion designer little sister had sewn them. Emory hadn't wanted to go at all but Tak pointed out that nearly everyone there was going to be an Asian nerd which made Emory feel a little less out of place than he did at other college parties full of red cup woo-bros.

Neither of them wanted to be sober, and neither of them wanted to try to find parking in Elmwood, and neither of them wanted to shell out for a driver so they walked, choosing to wear the onesies instead of carrying a backpack and trying to keep track of it all night. They had just reached College Avenue and were nearly there when some asshole in a yellow hummer screeched to a stop where they were crossing the street, revved his engine, rolled down the window and screamed,

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY YOU FUCKIN CHING CHONG FAGGOTS!” And as soon as their toes touched the sidewalk on the other side of the intersection he peeled out, fishtailing over the narrow suburban streets.

“Jesus what the fuck?” Tak glared at the tail lights.

“Well he does drive a hummer.” Emory shrugged and looked at his shoes.

“I hope he chokes on a bag of sweaty dicks,” Tak grumbled.

“Hey,” Emory stopped and looked at Tak “Don't let that shitbag ruin your night. He means nothing.”

“I am trying not to. I was a little scared, Em. I forget that not everyone, even in Berkeley, is cool with gay dudes or Asians. Or gay Asians.” Tak kicked at some leaves on the sidewalk.

“Gaysians,” Emory corrected.

Tak laughed so hard he snorted. “Emory, I don't know what I would do without your smart ass.” He draped his long shark fins over the stout hedgehog.”We’re almost there, lets get baked.” He brought out his vape. Tak had brought an Indica, super stupid and stoney, not meant for anyone who had anything important to do today or probably tomorrow either. The plan was to get as high as possible in order to tolerate the crowds of other Asian students in fuzzy animal suits dancing to K-Pop. Tak had originally planned not to go, despite being regularly involved with the organization, but then someone had made a comment about him not really being that Asian and he wasn't about to take any shit from some third gen kid who didnt even speak his own language fluently when Tak, despite mostly appearing black, spoke nearly fluent Japanese.

They strolled another block to the party, several animals outside chatting over loud music emanating from inside. There was a gaggle of Japanese girls in matching unicorn onesies, a kangaroo, a corgi, a giraffe, two Pikachus, and a Totoro.

“I didn't know we could wear character onesies.” Tak pouted.

“Yeah that's bullshit, they said animals. I wanted to be Cthulhu.” Emory scowled, but not seriously. The Indica was taking over, and shuffling into the building was taking concentration. They shouldered their way inside and headed straight to the makeshift bar where they got juices, Ramune for Tak and grass jelly for Emory. Nearby tables held all sorts of snacks from the Asian market. There was dried squid, onigiri, rice crackers, wasabi peas, dumplings, etc. Not even the worse case of the munchies could convince Emory to eat party food that other people had touched and then put their hands to their mouths, and then back to the bowl. Gross.

The plan was to make a loop to say hello, then make another loop to say goodbye and then get the fuck out. Tak knew most people here and Emory knew a fair bit as well, but this was the first time they had gone to a college party as a couple and Emory gave no fucks what people thought, but he could tell Tak wasn't completely there yet, and considering the incident with the hummer bro, he tread carefully.

So it was a bit of a jolt when Emory introduced Tak to two vietnamese guys, Tu (Husky dog) and Rithi (racoon), as his boyfriend. Tak froze up when Tu offered out a fist to bump, and Emory caught a glimpse of Tak’s hesitation. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, but he was a little indignant. He tried to remember that Tak and he were both super high and not to trip out and what-if the hell out of a little hesitation for a handshake. It wasn't until after they had finished chatting with Tu and Rithi and Tak still wouldn't meet his eyes that he started to get pissed.

Emory spotted a back hallway leading to a door and without a word grabbed Tak’s fin in his paw and dragged him to it. He lugged the shark into the hall, glowering, before opening the door and yanking Tak inside.

It was not a back door to the outside as Emory had hoped, it was a closet. There was a mop and bucket, some big box size packages of toilet paper and paper towels, and other relevant miscellany. A bare bulb glowed from the ceiling. Emory, flustered at this development, quickly reached to lock the door behind them.

“Tak, what the fuck. I can't tell people you're my boyfriend here?” Emory asked, hurt and accusatory.

“I'm sorry I did that. I really am. I don't know why I did that.” Tak said, clearly grappling with being just a little too high for the conversation.

“If you don't want to be out at a party, you have to tell me before we get there. I don’t have a problem keeping it under wraps, especially if you don't feel safe, but you have to let me know, Tak,” Emory breathed hard through his nose when he finished speaking.

“ I do. I did. I do.” Tak stammered. It was unlike him to drop his eyes and struggle. “I,.. Emory, that was the first time anyone ever called me a faggot. I'm not joking when I say that Hummer dude scared me. I don't want to get beat up and murdered just for being in love with you. I started spacing out on the walk over here thinking about what I would do if someone tried to fuck with us. I thought about what I’d do if someone hurt you. I started just spiraling into worst case scenarios and thinking about how I take our safety for granted here. I was buggin’ out and I shut down. I'm a little too high, Im sorry,” he heaved a heavy sigh.

“For being in love with you” played on a loop in Emory’s mind as his eyes traced over Tak’s countenance, his slumped shoulders, tucked chin, arms hanging at his sides. He’d never get used to the way those words made him feel.

“UGH I can't be mad. There isn't anything to be mad about. I just want you to tell me if you don't feel safe or it there is something you need from me before we go places. I don't want to push you to be out everywhere we go but you do need to give me the heads up. I feel like an asshole for assuming without asking if we were out here,” Emory folded his arms across his chest but his eyes were soft.”I cant fight with you while you’re wearing a shark suit.”

“I want to be out here. There’s no reason to hide here. We aren’t even the only queers here. I want to show you off to people and make them hella jealous...I think being super stoned just made me paranoid. One toke over the line, man,” Tak shrugged.

Emory covered his mouth and his shoulders shook.

“What?” Tak crowded his eyebrows together.

Emory started to laugh behind his hand. “Its just that Im locked in closet with a giant in a shark suit, having a serious conversation about my relationship while Im dressed as a hedgehog, and Im super high.” He started to laugh harder, “You can’t make this shit up.”

Tak took a moment to view the situation from outside himself and yes, it was very, very hilarious. He began to giggle, then laugh, then gasp between bouts of belly laughs.

Emory watched Tak laughing and felt all warm and gooey in his chest. He want to kiss him, right now. He stepped closer, grabbing a fistful of shark suit in each hand and yanked Tak close. Tak’s laugh stopped but his smile went on for eons. Emory had the look. That look. Tak knew that he was going to do anything Emory asked when he saw that look. He leaned in to kiss Emory, one hand keeping his balance, which was intermittent right now, on a shelf. The other hand slipped into Emory’s hedgehog hood, and held the back of his neck. He could feel the heat coming off of Emory through their fuzzy suits as he pressed his body into Emory. Emory was avoiding his kiss, teasing him, making Tak chase his lips, snapping his teeth at him and smirking.

“Give me that!” Tak growled, pulling on Emory’s neck harder until his lips crashed into Emory’s. He felt Emory’s smirk fade under his own lips and his posture softened as he kissed Tak back with sensual and deep open mouth kisses, making Tak want to pitch himself into the abyss of Emory’s touch. After many moments, as kisses turned into lips on necks and ears and throats, Emory whispered into Tak’s ear,

“I really can’t wait to get you alone.”

Tak grinned. Emory knew all the buttons to push and Tak wondered how soon they could ditch this party. Tak’s hands wandered into his hood and into his hair. Emory could play cool, but not when Tak played with his hair, that was when he lost all thought being stealthy or tame. Emory’s eyes simmered and he flashed a grin before claiming Tak’s mouth again. Tak rested one long hand on Emory’s shoulder, the other in his hair, tugging close to the scalp, eliciting a rumble from Emory’s throat.

“More.” Emory demanded, digging his thumbs into Tak’s hip bones in an almost painful and insistent way. Tak pulled harder at his hair and Emory bit down viciously at his neck. Tak moaned and his head tipped back, making a loud noise when it landed on the shelf behind him. He heard someone tapping on the door, jiggling the handle. He didn't care.

“Fuck off!” he managed to shout to whomever was on the other side. The knocking stopped. “Goddamn Emory your mouth is going to kill me,” Tak murmured. Emory nipped again and pulled back to see the mark he had left on Tak’s neck, which was not discrete or small. He laughed louder than he expected to and jumped when another banging knock came from the door.