#i’m doing a summer engineering class btw

[blankingbloom]

5/26/24

Dear Angelica (aka future me),

Hey! How are you? Before I start my thousands of questions, let me first say, congratulations on graduating and finishing your senior year of high school!!! this must be a bittersweet moment for you, as I am experiencing this at the moment as a junior watching the grades above me graduate and do senior activities. Graduating is a once in a lifetime moment, not everybody gets to graduate due to unfortunate circumstances, but congratulations! Thank you so much for staying strong, the k-12 system is literally horrible lol. I just wanted to say, I (17 year old Angelica) will forever be within you. I am you, but I want you to have no regrets or wising to be me because “life was so carefree” 💀💀 naw it’s not I’m suffering rn lmfao I have 3 summer classes, a job to juggle and volunteer opportunities to catch up on and college apps 😿 whomp whomp. I so desperately want to be you right now! It may feel insufferable at the moment and you feel lots of bittersweet feelings and loneliness being unleashed from hell (prison) (kleinisd) (kleinhigh); you should know that there is a whole chapter ahead of you and you’ve achieved a milestone! When something ends, a new opportunity arises. I hope you’ll feel better soon, knowing how I feel now will probably affect you 10x deeper (you’ll understand). Highschool for me was no fun adventure; I was barely sociable, barely any friends (like a few ofc I’m not a loser), I felt like I wasn’t on track to be my genuine real self anytime soon, but you have the opportunity to change that through college. I need you to be stronger for me until we get our masters in compsci 💀. Be an academic weapon once more for us plz!! I know you want that so bad. I know our experience wasn’t the best, especially during covid and certain situations, but there is a whole life ahead of us, that is depending on our actions. I trust us to keep it up! BTW Im missing a ton of the 2023 seniors, I can’t believe that it’s real. It low key hurt seeing everyone I had classes with especially in financial math, english, photography, and a&p graduate. It’s so bittersweet it low key hurt my feelings, especially seeing everyone I grew up with who were a grade above me. I don’t want to forget them at all, I want to remember who they are! I never peaked in high school, but I’m never going to see these people again, unless it’s by a rare chance someday, I doubt they would recognize me. I guess I just grew attached. Anyways, I have some questions LOL.

1. What is our plan after graduating Highschool? What college are we going to?

2. Did we end up submitting any of our SAT/ACT scores?

3. What’s your favorite song currently?

4. Are we still dating Ben?

5. Did we make any new friends?

6. What is your college essay about?

7. What made us stronger?

8. How was senior year? Was it any easier taking AP classes? Do we understand pre-calc?

9. Do we still want to take comp sci?

10. What happened to your H‑E‑B job?

11. Did we get any stoles/cords for graduation or not?

12. What was our final Highschool GPA?

13. What’s our class schedule?

14. What do we look like now? Do I still have short hair? Do I still look gay?

15. Can we crochet with greater experience?

16. What’s your biggest worry?

17. Are you happy?

Thank you for reading this!! Respond to my questions soon. Goodbye! I will always be within you.

Sincerely, Angelica

____________________________________________________________

REPLY:

Hi Baby Angelica!

Since you're from the past, I have so so so much to catch you up on. Time flies by when you're consistently stressed out. But don't worry! I will answer your millions of questions first! Then we can actually discuss :)

1. What is our plan after graduating Highschool? What college are we going to?

A: We are doing Computer Engineering! After hours and hours of research, I wanted you to have opportunities in both the computer science and electrical engineering fields. I want you to have a lot of pathways so you can have tons of money and opportunities! We are going to UT Dallas. We got CAPPED from UT Austin and UW-Seattle was way out of our budget sadly. Maybe someday my love :(

2. Did we end up submitting any of our SAT/ACT scores?

A: Hell no, they were too low LMFAO

3. What’s your favorite song currently?

A: Talk by Beabadoobee, Antihero by Taylor Swift, any MSI song

4. Are we still dating Ben?

A: Yes <3

5. Did we make any new friends?

A: YES! We aren't friends with.. those girl(s) anymore. They were bad for you. WE HAVE MORE GENUINE AND KIND FRIENDS!! There is a whole world out there waiting for you. I love my friends.

6. What is your college essay about?

A: Bugs. In the UT Austin essays, we wrote about photography, allergies, tamagotchis, etc.

7. What made us stronger?

A: Learning to adapt, spreading love, reading people, putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations in order to grow. Being with likeminded people!

8. How was senior year? Was it any easier taking AP classes? Do we understand pre-calc?

A: PRE CAL WAS MY MOST HATED SUBJECT. It is so fricking hard I dont think I ever understood the concepts. The AP Classes had lots of work in it but you managed your time fine and it was never that serious anyways (except AP 2D art) that sucked a lot. Senior year was shit im not even gonna lie. I didn't even attend like 98% of the events LOL. Fuck no I am not going back!

9. Do we still want to take comp sci?'

A: Computer Engineering babe dont sweat it

10. What happened to your H‑E‑B job?

A: OUR LAST DAY WAS TODAYYYYYYYY

11. Did we get any stoles/cords for graduation or not?

A: One stole for NHS, one stole for DUDU CREDIT!

12. What was our final Highschool GPA?

A: 4.6/6.0 LMFAOOO

13. What’s our class schedule?

A: -1st period: Late Arrival (Used to be Photography 4)

A: -2nd: AP Art History

A: -3rd: Photojournalism/Office Aide

A: -4th: AP Psychology/Interpersonal Studies

A: -5th: AP 2D Art

A: -6th: AP Pre-Cal (idk how u survived but girl... never again)

A: -7th: Early Release

14. What do we look like now? Do I still have short hair? Do I still look gay?

A: You got the short hair back and we still look gay asf. We have new pink glasses though and they're see through! We still have bangs. Shit load of stretch marks though smh. Im like 115 pounds now.

15. Can we crochet with greater experience?

A: fuck no

16. What’s your biggest worry?

A: If my roommates will like me, I'll feel lonelier, money, If ill be smart enough for college, if my friends now will still want to hang out with me :(

17. Are you happy?

A: I could be happier but I am okay! Not stressed right now :)

[umichenginabroad]

Madrid Week 0: Stealing Grocery Bags (Goals & Reflections)

¡Hola a todos!

My name is Niko, and I’ll be blogging this semester from now until June for the CEA IPE program at Universidad Carlos III de Madrid, or UC3M.

Some quick background about me: I’m a current junior studying aerospace engineering at Michigan; I’m minoring in computer science and the international minor for engineers. I beatbox in an a cappella group, I love to rollerblade, meditate, and make pottery, & I’m a huge Bad Bunny fan (top 2% of listeners worldwide, not to flex).

My goal for writing this blog is twofold: one, to share my experiences in Madrid (and Europe when I travel around) with you all. I’ll be writing about sights I’ve seen, activities I’ve done, situations I’ve gotten myself into, and what they all made me feel. For all the prospective study-abroaders reading this, I hope you gain some insight into what studying and living in Madrid is like — and please feel free to send me an email at economos@umich.edu with any questions. For all of my friends and family reading, I hope you enjoy staying somewhat up to date with my life while I’m away, and please don’t hesitate to reach out — I would be happy to get a more in depth account about anything I post. Also, don’t hesitate to reach out with suggestions of what you might want me to blog about. I’m open to all ideas!

My second goal: dive deeper into how all of these experiences are affecting me, and figure out how I can learn and grow from all of them. I find that when I journal about something, it helps me sort through my thoughts and feelings surrounding it. This allows me to figure out how I can use these experiences to inform my actions in the future and move closer towards being the person that I want to be. This blog might serve as a pseudo journal for me; I’m gonna try to write a short focused piece on one experience each week and see what I can get out of it.

So, as I boarded the plane to Madrid (having gone through a crisis of deciding which bag I was going to bring as my personal item just hours before [I am a chronic over packer, but I will improve this semester mark my words] ), I was feeling a mix of excitement, nervousness, and uncertainty.

It’s now day 2 of being in Madrid, and after going through the trouble of losing a bag in transit (which has since been delivered back to my apartment thanks to our awesome doorman Mario), I quickly started to experience culture shock, naturally. Most notably so far: feeling extremely embarrassed when I accidentally tried to steal a bag at the grocery store — you have to pay for bags in Madrid, and I took an extra right in front of the cashier. She wasn’t so happy.

Although I’ve been to Spain once before for a week with my Spanish class in 8th grade, things are all very unfamiliar — the pace of life, my surroundings, the people, the way you recycle, the language (although I’m happy that the 52 hours listening to Bad Bunny have served me well, I’ve found that I’m able to communicate with locals pretty fluently), among many other things. During this period of culture shock, I’m gonna try my best to pull from the biggest lesson I learned studying abroad in Buenos Aires (an amazing city, btw, highly recommend) the summer after my freshman year — lean into these uncomfortable situations. Adapting to Argentinian culture helped me learn that these situations are never a matter of life or death. Overcoming my ego and “putting myself out there” got me into some of the most incredible, memorable experiences that I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life.

So, I’m gonna do exactly that this time around, and I know that feeling more comfortable is only a matter of time. I’m excited for all of the people that I will meet, places I will see (most pumped to return to La Sagrada Familia, stay tuned for that), experiences I will become a part of, and I’m excited to continue writing this blog!

Un beso,

Niko Economos

Aerospace Engineering

Universidad Carlos III de Madrid

Madrid, Spain

P.S. Don't forget to check the ALT/Image descriptions for a little more insight into what these photos are, especially if I don't talk about them in the main body :)

[carbon--14]

i have been stalking looking at your blog and not to be weird but i love you (in a mutuals way not a stalker way) also please tell me more abt your rocket scientist life i’m very intrigued if you’re interested in sharing.

hi nonnie why don't you come off anon and say hello properly ;))) jk. are we mutuals? or do i owe u a follow O___O

seriously though it's not even 1 pm and today has legitimately been one of the worst days of my life (family stuff, don't ask) so this was super needed and appreciated. thx for the little giggle lolz

anyway yeah aerospace/astronautical engineering is kind of a weird place to be :P it's kinda niche and the workload is insane, so people burn out quick and the ones who stick around actually enjoy it a little too much tbch. the vibes are a little weird because half of my classmates are like me and there because it's a long time special interest they're willing to commit several years to and the others are obsessed with military tech and really want to be a part of that development. and they're pleasant people to be around, like they're polite and stuff, but i have actually had a conversation with a classmate who told me (and i'm quoting here) "well, i'm not the one pulling the trigger, so i'm not responsible for anything." and his ideal career paths were working on stealth bombers or hypersonics :///// yikes. there's a reason we're not taught ethics especially since military contractors are the primary ones snapping us up for jobs right out of school. ironically though the actual rotc kids are the nicest of that bunch and tend to be super collaborative and friendly? but i'm not joking in one of my first year classes we took a poll of the group's favorite movies and i shit you not over 50% of the class said one of the two top gun movies and another 15% said interstellar X__X (mine is scott pilgrim btw cuz i have taste)

luckily the yippee creatures of the class are very aware of how fucked up the industry is and willing to talk about it so there's still hope. my personal strat is to make myself a very competitive candidate for a very niche subset of the industry without very many "defense" applications lol. :D especially since a lot of those "defense" jobs are in the middle of nowhere in like, texas and alabama and florida. so not exactly the greatest places for me to be. i'm super interested in ion thruster design and development and there's a couple of startups on the west coast that are working on that so i'm crossing my fingers. tbch i am so fed up with the actual industry that i'm genuinely considering going all-in on my online "content creator™" presence just to have some shot at avoiding it. i have been having an actual existential crisis for about 3 weeks wondering if i actually made the right choices in life

but yeah the actual workload will crush your will to live unless you actually enjoy it. my classes this semester consist of incompressible fluid dynamics, dynamics control systems, structural mechanics, numerical methods, and astronomical computer simulation development >_< i'm gonna dieeeee!! and probably need an insane glasses prescription by the end of the year with the amount of coding work i have to do. plus i'm trying to score a research position and finishing up a senior-level independent study lol AND this semester i'll be driving back and forth between school and home (which is three hours each way eugh) to go to concerts and shit with my dad, but hey free tix are free tix. so in case you were wondering why i barely draw anymore, this is my life now X__X alsoalso my faculty advisor for the independent study is nonbinary and giving me job advice! they're super cool i love them foreverrrr

as for my actual hands on experience i'll admit it's limited :PP mostly because it's super hard to score industry experience before the summer before junior year and i was in recovery the whole summer so i literally couldn't hold myself upright for more than a few minutes. but i've done a bunch of projects for classes + uni-funded ones too!! my biggest claim to fame (lol) is working on a three-stage rocket designed to fly to the karman line (which is the Super Official Divide Between The Atmosphere And Space™ lol). everything except our motor was built in-house and i worked on structural design and analysis, so my job consisted of

a) working on and approving cad models of each component before we sent them to the fabrication team,

b) stress-testing all parts the fab team sent us to ensure they were flight ready (there is a picture of me somewhere sitting on a chair precariously balanced on top of three sandbags on top of a giant tube filled with more sand and our nosecone, because sand under enough pressure puts a similar kind of stress on a nosecone as it experiences in flight),

c) fixing any uneven surfaces or manufacturing errors on our parts, and

d) doing so. much. documentation. i have to be totally honest, like 75% of aero/astro e is writing the most boring papers you will ever read in your life :[

and i also built a 3d cad model of the opportunity mars rover from scratch with only official promo pics and rover "selfies" and that thing crashed the lab computers twice and took a week's worth of 8 hour days in the lab + 3 all-nighters. fml but she was so worth it thooooo

sorrysorrysorry nonnie that was probably 10x more info than you were expecting but tl;dr i'm the world's biggest weirdo who actually loves physics and rocketry so i enjoy everything i'm doing in class but the actual job search is hell on earth and i dread the day i graduate :/ for now it's still mostly fun

[solreefs]

Gonna use this project to force my engineering classmates to look my favorite space probes and telescopes >:)

[height-in-uppercase]

𝘝𝘈𝘕𝘊𝘌 𝘏𝘖𝘗𝘗𝘌𝘙 𝘏𝘌𝘈𝘋𝘊𝘈𝘕𝘖𝘕𝘚

1. Upbringing/How He Was Raised

* He is a mama’s boy. Though both of his parents are present, he gets along more with his mom.

* He has three big dogs. A German Shepard (Leo), a Great Dane (Hades), and a Saint Bernard (Luke).

* Growing up, he was always told plenty of affirmations from his mom and dad that, no matter what, they love him & they’ll be there for him.

* They also told him that if anyone makes fun of his height then knock tf outta them (little did they know-)

* They have a rage room specifically built for, well…rage moments (and this isn’t exclusive for Vance, it’s for everyone😊)

* They have family dinners on the couch instead of the table.

* He hates summer (cause hair)

* He hates spring (cause allergies)

* He likes winter (cause Christmas vacations)

* That choker that he has? Christmas present from a fav relative (I personally say fav older cousin).

* When Vance started doing not-so-great in school, people started talking about it to his folks.

* And then when he would get into fights, people started talking about the whole family (I could go so much darker with this).

* Vance started to distance himself from his parents; not to the point where they don’t know where he is but to the point where Vance would look at them and nod.

2. His Academic Performance

* He’s more of a left brain than a right. He’s a huge nerd for shit that involves mechanics and engineering

* If you were to ask him what’s his favorite class, he would be smart and say “dismissal”🙄. But it’s genuinely P.E, and if you don’t count that as a class than he would say Science

* He’s caused accidents in the science labs.

* He used to be a “B” student. But then school became more difficult and his grades started dropping.

* The teachers noticed, some of them didn’t care. And very few tried to help him out.

* He has communication issues when it comes to “needing help”.

* Because of this, many teachers started giving up on him.

* He failed school, which made him feel like he’s a failure. And that, was the match that lit the fuse.

* When he got held back, he started loosing friends to where people would give him the stink eye and whisper about (obviously) him.

* One time someone tried to cut his hair

* Got to a point where he just said “screw school”, and stopped showing up (CUE PINBALL ADDICTION)

* Btw that boy that was next to Vance, yeah they’re not friends. Just regulars of Grab-n-Go. I personally feel like his name would be Langston.

* He would stay in the family rage room.

* His mom and dad would cry. Not in front of him though, because they didn’t want him to think that they didn’t love him anymore.

3. When He Was Kidnapped

* My theory: Vance got arrested one day. On the way to the station, a crash happens between the gr*bber’s van & the cop car which killed the two cops & knocked out Vance.

* When he first woke up, Vance was red hot.

* When he first saw The Gr*bber, he tried to fight him. The Gr*bber let it happen because he knew that boy was weak from the crash.

* He laughed when Vance hit his head on the door.

* Back at home his parents are hysterical.

* His dad actually frames the detectives saying that they “let this happen”

* His mom is throwing up in the bathroom toilet.

* When the detectives mention of Vance’s…”issues”, his mom tries to reason with them (cue TikTok that y’all blew tf up thank yew(and btw, I’m not sorry)🥹🙏).

* When the detectives asked if Vance had any friends, it broke his mom’s heart to say that he didn’t.

* When providing the background info, Sheryl (that’s her name don’t argue with me) could only think one thing.

* “Do you have his choker?” “What?” “His choker, his choker that he was given to on Christmas, his choker that he always wore! His choker that was green and had a-a-a-a little…thing, in the middle of it- oh what was that thing?!”

* Yeah..she went into a panic attack.

* When the Detective Wright tried to comfort and soothe her, she smacked him (and left a scratch mark).

* The dogs went into full on attack mode

* Meanwhile back at the basement, Vance is in and out from recovery.

* He’s crying a lot. Like, angry crying. BECAUSE WTF!!!

* He’s definitely tried the phone. And when The Gr*bber told him it doesn’t work, Vance said “it works fine as a weapon”.

* He was left alone after that.

* As the days went on, Vance’s mom went into a state of denial.

* She would have presents ready for him on Christmas and his birthday saying that he “went to go play is game” and that he’ll “be back soon”.

* She would even stay up late because “it’s a school night, he won’t be out long.”

* With Vance, he wouldn’t sleep. He was so filled with rage that he was full on psychotic and violent.

* On one of the days that the gr*bber picked up his food tray, Vance threw the plate at his face and tried to use the bottle as a shank.

* The Gr*bber closed the door and beat him bad for being a “naughty boy”(🤢🤮).

* After that beating Vance fell asleep, but The Gr*bber wasn’t done yet.

* As a way to “get on his good side”, the gr*bber would compliment Vance’s hair and eyes saying that they’re beautiful.

* The damage that Vance was talking about? Here’s what he did:

* Broke the window (not shatter, just broke)

* Caused a hole in the wall (given).

* Broke the toilet (as in took the lid and smashed it).

* Tore the mattress up with a hidden glass bottle shard.

* And ofc that was the last thing he ever did.

4. When He Died

* His.Mom.Lost.It

* Fvck the rage room, she tore up the whole house.

* She would take some of his baby photos and hold them close and sing them lullabies.

* She would sleep in his room.

* The dogs would wait by his door still

* One day, they got a random package on their doorstep.

* Vance’s dad brought it in and opened it to find Vance’s choker inside, all dirty and bloodied up.

* Cue scream of bloody murder (no pun intended) from the mother.

* The neighbors heard and when they went to see what was wrong, all they could do was stand still as they witnessed a grieving mother.

* When Vance’s body was recovered, one of the detectives updated Mr. & Mrs.Hopper.

* She went to the morgue and the first thing she did was hug him.

* She put the choker back around his neck and gave strict instructions to the person to “make sure he doesn’t loose it”.

* A miserably small funeral was held for Vance in the winter, near the time that they would have their family Christmas vacation.

[a-ffection]

👀 You're a bio major? I'm considering it, is there any advice/thoughts/literally anything you're willing to share please? No pressure!

Anything? Alright you asked for it 😤

1. The biology courses will always be the easiest ones. The hard courses are the ones like calculus, ochems, and stats coding that have little to nothing to do with your major but are required for it.

2. No one ever told me about concentrations like BS in Biology with a concentration in environmental science, so definitely look up the bio concentrations your uni offers if youre interested in any, starting/planning your concentrations and minors as a freshman makes your life sm easier.

3. Usually if you're a bio major that means you're pre-health or pre-professional school BUT bio isnt the only major that pre-health programs or professional schools accept, people just get stuck on it. You can definitely look into the other majors.

4. You really need to know how to study and to adapt your study habits for this major. Bio majors really have a little bit of everything, the way you study for your bio courses is not the same way you should study for classes like ochem. If you're a bio major you need to be good with memorizing 3-6 thick chapters each week btw.

5. If you're going into STEM you should definitely do research if you can, if you google "summer research opportunities national science foundation REI" you'll get to an REI site and there are tons of research opportunities, and they're paid (5-10k for 10 weeks) + travel and housing is covered.

6. Make a semester planner once you have your major figured out. It helps you know how many classes you need and which classes to take when. Try and spread out your hard ones with your easy ones. Take your hard ones like ochem etc. as soon as you can. That way if you need to drop and retake you wont have to push back graduation by a whole semester. Mine looks like this:

The one I started with was two pages long and after every semester I update it to reflect what's current/ left.

7. If I was better with math I would've gotten a physics or engineering degree tbh. But I'm not so biology was honestly the best STEM choice for me. Though I do wish I found out about concentrations and research sooner.

Really not quite sure what else to add but lmk if you have any questions (:

[thevikingwoman]

100 days of writing - day 50

Ahh day fifty! Half way through! Thank you @the-wip-project​! I missed about 5-10 of these, but I’m really happy with how many of these I’ve done. It made me write more too (though not every day). 

What fic/story made you?

The question is about which story made me go - I can do this; so I guess it’s about how I got inspired to write? 

this got so long it went under cut.

The thing is - I’ve read fanfic on and off for many years. I used to read Spuffy (BtVS) fanfiction, then later SG:A fanfiction and some Harry Potter fanfics. This was all before Ao3 - everything was on fanfiction.net, adultfanfiction.net (when FF banned NC-17 works), then livejournal and fandom specific archives (such as wraithbait). The thing was; I never really interacted with fanfic. I was terribly, terribly shy. I did have a LJ and commented on a few fics on LJ, but I never really felt I had anything to contribute to fandom. 

I certainly didn’t think I could write anything. English is my second language; I’m an engineer - not a ‘creative’ (PS this is bullshit).

 I wasn’t really reading a lot of fanfic when I finally, 2 years after I started DA:I got around to finish Trespasser in summer 2016. 

I was shaken. It was *utter* madness. I wasn’t spoiled in any way. I’d played the whole damn thing, rushing through, sure, CERTAIN, that I would have Solas return, some greater issue would arrive, he’d be in my party again. When I’d played the Inquisition I’d known he’d break up with Lavellan, I’d known he was Fen’Harel, but I hadn’t known he’d leave. It was, from a meta game standpoint inconceivable to me. I had high reputation, I had a positive romance - for any bioware game that would mean the character would not leave you. 

I immediately went and looked for fanfic. I needed a fix-it, happily ever after fanfic. I went on ao3, I went on tumblr - I discovered this was where fandom was at, now. And I didn’t find that perfect story, that one with the fix-it I was looking for (I later found something that was... close enough, but at this time I didn’t). 

So I started imagining my own fix-it. And I put down in words.

And I started reading The Dead Season (which is a fix-it in a class of it’s own), and @galadrieljones​ was such a wonderful, positive and confident person, so I asked her - should I publish this? I don’t think I can. And she went - go for it. And not only that, she encouraged me and cheered me on - and so did the very nice people of @dadrunkwriting​ btw.​

So in terms of what story made me - Solas, that fucker. 

And @galadrieljones​, because without her I’d never hit that publish button. I am, in the end, more thankful for our friendship, which I treasure immensely, but I am also very happy I got that little push. Without publishing I wouldn’t have stayed in this hobby, I wouldn’t have thought I my words had worth. Thank you my friend. I know I’ve said this before, but it still makes me happy this happened, and I’m frankly not sure I’d drummed up the courage otherwise. 

[x-15]

You were in scicomm? I'm so curious, what was it like and why did you leave? (BTW, love your blog, always love aero nerdery)

Thank you!

I taught various science and aerospace nerdery at two museums back in California for about 4 years. So I was never on the internet influencer side of scicomm (no, this blog is nowhere near counting).

I started out as a volunteer museum explainer, which means I pulled out an activity out of a closet (or was assigned one) and taught about it for an afternoon. The main thing that made this difficult is that a lot of it was in fields that I'm not too familiar with, so sometimes I would have to learn things completely on the fly, and I was a high schooler at the time! If there's anything that'll exercise your understanding of physics, it's being handed a lesson out of a lottery and asked to explain it, haha. I learned and taught a lot at that job.

That was a volunteer program for high schoolers, so after I graduated high school, I got my first real job in scicomm not long after at a museum closer to my home. My role here can basically be separated into two distinctly different jobs: a museum explainer/demo leader during the school year, and a more classroom-style camp teacher during the summer (with a few class-style lessons scattered between fall and spring.)

I'd learned to pick up science and teach it at my old job, but working at a camp forced me to learn actual classroom management skills. I don't have a teaching degree, and I wasn't writing my own lessons. I mostly found that a little bit of public speaking knowledge went a long way, but at the same time, kids like you a lot more if you see them as an equal? So you can't be TOO formal with them.

During the school year my job was a lot more relaxed but I had a few more responsibilities than my first museum. I actually didn't give tours unless it was a part of a specific program I was teaching. What I DID do was help people with any of our public programs which ranged from building paper airplanes to flying quadcopters.

I think were it not for covid, I wouldn't have left. And my reasons for leaving don't have much to do with being scared of the virus. (We had a pretty strict cleaning regimen at my old camp that if anything people went beyond out of paranoia.) The coronavirus caused regulations for camps in my county to change. The biggest differences were that we had to have isolated groups of campers who didn't switch teachers, and we had to keep those campers for periods of at least 4 weeks as opposed to one.

During a normal year, my museum assigns instructors what to teach while considering our backgrounds. If possible, for example, they'll try to assign flight simulator lessons with pilots, engineering lessons to engineers, etc... So while I was responsible for all our material, I would have a lot less that was really out of my expertise, AND—this is the real important part—I would teach those lessons repeatedly to different groups of kids.

Under the new regulations, I was responsible for all of our camp material, AND I had to teach four lessons which may or may not be related to each other at all, per day. This adds up to 20 lessons per WEEK, and 80 per month. And yes, there's some overlap with the basic science, which actually helps to reinforce their knowledge of the basics (and you could really see them learning by the end of a session which was really cool). But it was pretty mentally exhausting.

Honestly the real reason I left was because being with the same kids for 3 weeks, you get to know each other better? Which means kids would just, tell me if a family member had just died of the virus. I kind of don't want to go through that again.

But yeah. I genuinely enjoyed being in the museum world! It was a pretty natural fit for someone like me who loves space and can't shut up. 🤠 I think I just need to get out of the field before it eats me.

[sebastianshaw]

(Anon requested Shaw and Lourdes getting married for Fanfic Friday so here it is! Sorry, it cuts off premature because I ran out of time/ideas but I hope you like what’s there! BTW, in Spain, the bride doesn’t just toss the bouquet, she gives it to someone specific of her choosing, so that’s why there’s mention of that.) It was happening. It was actually happening. Years of coutrship, months of planning, and ridiculous amounts of money, and it was happening. Sebastian was sweating profusely under the white collar of his tuxedo shirt, and it wasn’t because of the Spanish summer air. They had chosen to do this Lourdes’ home country of Barcelona. That way, her family wouldn’t have to travel, and Sebastian had no family, so that was a non-issue on his side of things. The only downside was, well, her family, but while Lourdes was mentally preparing to run interference every time her parents spoke to him, the soon-to-be-in-laws were actually far from Sebastian’s mind---he had far too many OTHER worries coursing through it like whitewater rapids all racing in different directions at once, pumped out continuously by the lightning-fast pace of his heart beating. The specific location was La Baronia, 16th century country stone villa with an almost fairytale architecture, surrounded by Mediterranean woodland. The place was so peaceful that even Sebastian had been calm for a moment when he arrived today, before anyone else had. He’d seen it before, of course, he had gone over every possible venue with as much care as he’d ever given to any machine or project, more even, seeking absolute perfection for Lourdes---Lourdes herself mostly cared if it was simply ‘pretty’ which Sebastian had learned was a fairly capricious and nebulous set of standards at best, but in Lourdes case he had, over the years, assembled a mental catalogue of all the things she had ever given a pleasing look towards, and thus methodically calculated the exact set of stipulations that her ideal wedding local should meet. His own preferences were irrelevant to the matter--he had none. This was HER day. He was getting married to her, and that was everything he needed. He just had to make it worthy of HER. Luckily, Lourdes was a very involved bride, taking delight in planning all the aesthetic and social aspects---the flowers, the colors, the seating, and so on. It was mostly the practical aspects she left to Sebastian---his speciality. He’d still, of course, double-triple-quadruple-quintuple checked his every decision with her, to the point she was nearly exasperated. Nearly. Lourdes could never ACTUALLY be exasperated with his pursuit of perfection for her. “I know I’m marrying an engineer,” she always said. He hadn’t been an engineer in a long time, he’d made his real money in management, in business, but he still had the engineer mindset---making everything just right. Especially where it COUNTED MOST. Of course, tradition dictated that some things were out of BOTH their hands, and Lourdes WANTED a traditional Spanish wedding...part of which was that the best man was the one who picked out the bride’s bouquet. Luckily, Harry Leland had been informed---multiple times---by Sebastian that Lourdes liked lilies, did you get that Harry, she likes white lilies, the Calla ones and yes Sebastian I heard you the first five times--- What if he hadn’t though? What if he got roses instead? They had arranged for rose petals and orange blossoms to be thrown instead of rice, what if somehow he mixed that up? What if the florist got mixed up? What if the food got mixed up? He should have checked, checked, and checked again--- “Sebastian?” Tessa asked. She was his only guest besides Harry. And technically, she wasn’t his guest. He hadn’t invited anyone besides Harry, not even her. It was nothing against her. He just...hadn’t wanted anything of the Hellfire Club here today. But Lourdes had nonetheless invited Tessa and Emma, though only Tessa had come. “I need her there, Sebastian,” Lourdes had said, “I have to give the bouquet to someone. If I give it to one of my sisters, the other will hate me and her. If I give it to one of my friends, the rest all hate me and her. This way? I’m not choosing one over the others. They’ll all still hate me for not picking them, of course, but at least they won’t hate EACH OTHER.” “Well, they might hate me instead,” Sebastian had offered helpfully, “Since they’ll assume I invited her.” “Oh, querido, they already hate you,” Lourdes had replied fondly. It was a joke, of course, but, well, not untrue. Her sisters found him fascinating, and her friends were of mixed opinions, but her parents...well, they’d never quite approved. No amount of money that he made could ever transform him from a low-class atheist American into an old-money Catholic Spaniard like them, after all. And really they were right. He wasn’t--- “Sebastian?” Tessa repeated, and tugged a bit on his sleeve this time, taking him out of his trance of trepidation. They were thus far the only ones here, so it wasn’t a big deal for him to be in a daze, but she thought it best for him to get ahold of himself BEFORE the guests got here. But he was so nervous he couldn’t get out of his own head, he thought he was going to throw up, he--- “Sebastian?” It wasn’t Tessa this time. “Lourdes!” he yelled, and turned his head immediately, putting an arm over his eyes. He heard her confused laugh, “What are you---oh dios mio, querido, you never believed a single superstition in your life and NOW suddenly you can’t see me before the wedding?” “Yes!” he replied, still shielding his eyes, “This is IMPORTANT! You’re important!” (Sorry this is where I stopped! But I hope what was there was nice! Don’t worry, the whole thing goes off without a hitch!)

[jessicasland]

The One That Fits Right In Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Rocky Beginnings Reagan stared at the large white school building in front of her. It was her first day at the public high school and since she moved with her family, she already felt nervous. Reagan’s face went pale, she felt like she was going to be sick, there were butterflies in her stomach. It was big, bigger than the palace she used to live in back in Southern France. Was she really going to go in there? Well, she had no other choice. She took a big deep breath and walked up the stairs to the main hall. Reagan look at all the students bustling, talking, and laughing in the hallways. It was completely crowded! She couldn’t even walk without being squished in between one or two of the students. She checked her schedule. The first thing she needed to do was find her locker. It was locker 239. Reagan adjusted her glasses once she managed to get out of the tsunami of students to find her locker. There were endless rows of tall dark green lockers. But which one was her’s? As she passed by the students, she always remembered to say her “excuse me’s” or “pardon me’s” when she was trying to get through, and remembered to say her “sorry’s” when she accidentally bumped into people. Reagan was about to check the next row of lockers to find hers until- BUMP! The next thing Reagan knew, she was on the ground. Her backpack, books, and lunchbox were scattered on the ground. In front of her was another girl. She had short brown hair and sap colored eyes. Her skin was the color of a what someone would look like if they had gotten a sun tan. She also wore very expensive clothing, tall high heal like boots, and had layers and layers of foundation and make up on her face. Reagan gasped and said, “Oh geez. I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.” She pulled the other girl into her feet and picked up all her books and makeup. “Here. These belong to you don’t they?” “Don’t you dare touch those!” said the girl, snatching the belongings out of Reagan’s hands. “Don’t you know how much money all this makeup costs?!” “...No.” Regan replied. “I-I don’t think we’ve officially met before during the orientation. I’m Reagan!” Reagan smiled and held out her hand for the other girl to shake. The girl looked at Reagan and looked at her hand and sneered in disgust. Using a pencil, the girl moved Reagan’s hand away, “Oh yes. The new girl from, what was i? Larodon? Southern France?” “That’s right! Future Heir to the throne to!” replied Reagan. “So, what’s your name?” The girl scoffed and replied, “You don’t know who I am?” Reagan said, “No not really. That’s what I was trying to ask you.” “My name is Harper. Harper Jane Cadigan Scott.” said the girl. “And these four girls make up my group. The one with the black hair is Marissa, the one with the gross looking flying pig thing on her shirt is Elle, the one who’s the brace face is Lorraine,” Reagan mouthed to Lorraine, “You’re braces look nice.” and Loraine mouthed back “Thanks.” Harper continued, “and the one in the yellow which is a really disgusting color BTW, is known as Krystal.” Reagan stared at them before saying, “Nice to meet ya.” “So, now that you know this little group here, get outta my way.” said Harper, turning up her nose. “What are you even doing anyway?” “Oh, um. I’m looking for my locker.” said Reagan, showing Harper her schedule. “It’s locker 239.” “What?! You can’t have that locker!” said Harper. “Why not? The school staff gave it to me so that means it’s mine for this year.” said Reagan. “But that’s my locker!” said Harper. “Everyone knows that locker 239 is the biggest locker in the school! Well, everyone except you Four Eyes.” “I know. That’s why they gave it to me.” said Reagan. Harper growled and was ready to strangle Reagan but Marissa stopped her and said, “Harper. We gotta go. Besides, I heard Kaiden was in our economics class.” Harper gasped in delight, “Why didn’t you say so?! Let’s go!” The other girls followed Harper down the hall, except for Loraine, who stayed behind to help Reagan find her locker and just like Harper had said, locker 239 was the biggest locker in the entire school. Reagan waisted no time to get started organizing her brand new locker. “Shame.” Reagan said to herself. “This locker looks so dull. It would be nice to spice it up a bit.” Then, Reagan had a wonderful, spectacular idea! Tomorrow before school started, she would bring in the beautiful acrylic paints that she had gotten for her birthday back in the summer and paint her locker till her her hearts desire. Reagan checked her schedule as she finished placing the new lock on the front. Reagan’s Schedule - A Day: Mon, Wed, Fri 1st Period-Art 3rd Period-US History 5th Period-Biology 7th Period-Office Aid B Day: Tues, Thurs 2nd Period-Spanish 1 4th Period-Culinary Arts 6th Period-English 2 8th Period-Algebra 2 Lunch: First Lunch Reagan was happy when she saw her first class. Art was one of her favorite things to do! She would spend hours a day just drawing and doodling in her sketchbook. It even helped her when she was stressed or upset. So this class would really help improve her art a bit more, especially when it came to drawing hands. History. Oh brother. History was super long and super boring and History wasn’t one of her strengths. Biology. Mmm, not so bad. But then Reagan remembered she didn’t really like it as much when she was homeschooled because she never got to do any labs at all. Office Aid? What was that? Spanish. Perfect! She more or less knew some words in Spanish thanks to homeschool. And one of her aunts spoke Spanish to so this would help expand her vocabulary. Culinary Arts? Wow! She loved to help the family’s personal chef in the kitchen back home and bake things on her own from time to time to! She could learn to cook and expand from making a simple PB and J sandwich. English. Interesting. Would she be learning the language English? Algebra. It was neither her weakness or her strength. But she was well advanced in math seeing how good at it she was. Reagan checked the time on her watch. 7:55AM “Uh oh.” thought Reagan, “I should already be at art class!” She didn’t wanna miss her first real class. She stuffed her schedule in her pocket, picked up her art supplies and sketchbook, and dashed down the hall to the art room. The minute Reagan stepped foot into the room, she was already greeted with large tables, pictures and paintings from years past, easels, light tables, tables with five chairs for five students to sit at, and a closet filled with tons of art supplies. But the professor was missing. Where was she...or he? Reagan dropped her things at the nearest table and walked around the room while the students chatted amongst themselves. She looked around the large room but then stopped at the closet. She saw a short figure who looked shorter than her, fumbling about where the paints were. Reagan asked in a shy tone, “U-Uh. E-Excuse me? I-I don’t mean to be a bother b-but uh. Where did the professor run off to?” The women bumped her head before turning to Reagan. She looked and dressed like a gypsy women. Beads and all. Reagan’s eyes widened as she saw her. The women hopped down from the ladder and walked up to Reagan. “You’re lookin’ right at her.” she replied. She had a thick Russian accent. “Oh. It’s uh, nice to meet you.” said Reagan. “I-I’m-“ “New student. I know.” she replied. “Davay! Davay! out out out!” She pushed Reagan out of the closet and said, “Take your seat. I don’t have all day.” Reagan said nothing and took her seat. This art professor seemed pretty rude. The women clapped her hands to get the students attention. “Dobroye UUUUtro class.” said the lady, holding the U. “Dobroye Utro Ms. Preobrazhensky.” said the rest of the class. “Welcome welcome! I would love to welcome you all to my Art class.” said Ms. Preobrazhensky. “Now, vhile I take the roll. I would like you to complete your first sketchbook assignment. Vou must draw your name and draw all de things you kiddies like. Uh, for instance uh de Fortnite game or de annoying song vith the colorful sharks or vhat ever you kiddies like now a-days. Da! Begin.” Regan opened her big, black sketchbook and got to work. She wrote her name in big bubbly letters and colored it red. Then she got to work on surrounding her name with many things she liked like. Her drawing consisted of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a lamb, a paint pallet with a paintbrush, a drawing of Iron Man, the symbol for Taurus, a stack of comic books, a steam engine train, Patch from 101 Dalmatians, and some puzzle pieces representing the fact that she has Autism. She didn’t notice that any time passed by until Ms. Preobrazhensky shouted, “Gold Girl!” Reagan jumped in her seat in surprise. Most kids snickered at her. “Come on, let me see your vork.” she barked. Reagan showed Ms. Preobrazhensky her sketchbook. Ms. Preobrazhensky stared at it for a while before she took it to her desk. Reagan sat in her seat for the longest time while the gypsy looking art teacher was staring at her sketchbook. She felt nervous and started twirling a loose strand of her hair (which she often does when she’s nervous). “REAGAN!” Ms. Preobrazhensky screeched. Regan’s eyes widened as the teacher called her. She stood up and walked to the desk. “Niet! Niet! In my office.” said Ms. Preobrazhensky, pointing a long bony finger to a small office. Reagan gulped and stepped into her office. Was she going to get in trouble on her very first day? Ms. Preobrazhensky closed the door and started.....hugging Reagan. Reagan was confused. “Vou brilliant child! Look at this!” said Ms. Preobrazhensky, showing her the assignment. “I had no idea you’s could draw so well! How long have you’s been drawing?” “..Since I was 3.” said Reagan, still twirling her hair. “I’ve never seen dis type of talent in my class before.” said Ms. Preobrazhensky. “My dear! There is not much I can teach you! You have very good talent!” “Really?” asked Reagan excitedly. “...but I wish I could draw hands better. My hands look like potatoes.” “Tell you what.” said Ms. Preobrazhensky. “How about I gives you some pointers on how to draw hands. During the lunch break. You’s can have your lunch here and then we can start.” “You mean it?” asked Reagan with a gleam in her eyes. “Of course of course!” said Ms. Preobrazhensky. “After all, talent like this does not show up everyday. Although. I am curious about de puzzle pieces you drew here. Wvat do they mean?” Reagan fumbled with her words. If she told the teacher, let alone the whole school that she had Aspergers, she’d be the laughing stock of the entire 10th grade! “U-Uh....I-I love to do puzzles.” Reagan lied. “Ahh.” said Ms. Preobrazhensky, “interesting hobby for a girl your age.” “Uh yep.” said Reagan with a nervous laugh. Ms. Preobrazhensky handed back her sketchbook. “So, I wvill see you during lunch on Wednesday?” asked Ms. Preobrazhensky. “Sure!” said Reagan, “Thank you. Thank you Ms. Preoba...uh, can I call you Ms. P?” “Of course you may.” said Ms. Preobrazhensky. “Cool. Thank you Ms. P!” said Reagan as she walked back to her seat. She sighed with relief. .... The rest of the morning went by in a blur and before Reagan knew it, it was lunchtime. She took her orange metal lunchbox and headed for the cafeteria. Reagan walked slowly as she tried to find a seat but most of the students already called dibs on each table. Then, Reagan saw Harper and her group of friends (minus Loraine) sitting at half-empty table eating and gossiping. “Harper!” said Reagan. “Harper! It’s Reagan from this morning!” Harper stopped her, “Hold it Four Eyes!” Reagan stopped dead in her tracks. “This table is for popular girls only.” said Harper. “Yeah, we don’t take in newbies!” added Marissa. “B-But I don’t have anywhere else to sit.” said Reagan. “Tough!” said Krystal. “Let me show you where the newbies sit.” said Harper. She lead Reagan to the garbage cans in the corner of the cafeteria. “B-But that’s the garbage can.” Reagan said. “Exactly. That’s where all the newbies go. Because every single newbie that comes to this school is nothing but a lowlife piece of trash!” explained Harper. “Ask the freshmen! Trust me, this seating arrangement is WAY up you’re alley.” With that, Harper walked away, leaving Reagan alone. Well, Reagan had no other choice. She sat on the floor and ate her lunch. It was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, some apple slices, a little white milk carton, some celery sticks, and a chocolate chip cookie. Loraine noticed that Reagan was sitting on the floor by herself. “You got sent to the trash to?” she asked. “Yep.” said Reagan, not paying attention. “I know how that feels.” Loraine replied. “I got sent here to. But you wouldn’t be sitting here if I didn’t sit with you.” Loraine sat next to Reagan. “S-So. You’re Reagan?” asked Loraine. “Uh-huh.” Reagan replied. “And you’re........Marissa?” “Close. It’s Loraine.” said Loraine. “Ohhh! Brace Face!” said Reagan. Loraine stared at her and started to eat her food. Reagan realized that she wasn’t supposed to say that. “Oh geez. U-Uh, Loraine I didn’t mean to uh-“ “No, it’s Ok. I get that a lot. Even Harper calls me Brace Face.” said Loraine reassuring her. “Then, if Harpers your friend, why does she cal you brace face?” asked Reagan. Loraine looked at Harper and then back at Reagan. “Harper’s cool and all but she’s...she’s a real jerk sometimes.” replied Loraine, “and besides, she’s never complimented on my braces before. I just got them a week ago and they hurt like crazy.” “Oh, here.” said Reagan handing her an Advil cup. “Take an Advil pill, it will help with the pain.” Loraine took a tablet and swallowed it with some milk to wash it down before handing back the Advil cup back to Reagan. “Thank you.” said Loraine. “Hey, since we’re here, wanna tell secrets? If that’s what you royalty folks like doing.” “Sure!” said Reagan. “Uh, you go first.” “OK.” said Loraine. She whispered, “I have had this weird habit of biting my nails. I still have it and nobody else knows this.” “M-My turn.” said Reagan. “The thing is that I...I............IhaveAspergersSyndrome.” “What?” asked Loraine, “You we’re speaking to fast Reagan.” “Sorry.” she replied, “I…I have Asperger’s Syndrome…its a case of mild Autism. I’ve had it since I was two and it-it effects me socially and mentally. I have some weird obsessions. I still watch Blues Clues for pete’s sake and-“ “Reagan.” said Loraine, “I’ve heard enough. But why don’t you wanna tell anyone this information?” “I-I don’t wanna tell anyone because I-I didn’t wanna get bullied again.” said Reagan. Loraine held out her pinky and said, “I won’t tell a soul that you have Autism. It’s a promise. A pinky promise.” Reagan looked at her pinky and joined hers in with Loraine’s. “Thank you.” said Reagan as she hugged Loraine. Loraine was shocked but hugged her back.

[kneewall49]

Life in Queensland

27th August, 2019

No one has asked what’s it’s like living in the sunshine state, but I’ll tell you anyway.

Life’s good here, it’s simpler, and as it should be.

Major difference is the ease of getting around by car/bike. No traffic lights keep traffic flowing and once your use to roundabout efficiencies no one gets held up except those that don’t understand the rules, the etiquette or are procrastinators.

No multi level car parks to lose your car in or get held up by a senior trying to work out how to back into a space, or big family with multi kids loading the once a month food shopping of fizzy drinks, pet food and cheese twisties.

Lots of marked motorcycle parking in prime spots is a bonus (for us).

No queues is another bonus, except for gelato on a weekend arvo. When you go to the motor registry, which we have had too on numerous occasions to sort licences and regos, the following happens. You walk into a near deserted customer area and head to the ticket machine. You’ll notice the 4-5 counter staff have eyes fixed on your hand. As you select your required service and the little paper ticket starts to emerge from the kiosk there is movement at the counters as the staff try to get your customer number to light up their counter before each other. It’s a bit like a quiz show. As your checking your number a loud speaker is already calling that number.

All shop staff (except cafes) greet you with ‘want you want luv’ and ‘thanks darl’ as a closer.

Heaps of cafes with good coffee and environs, craft brewers are also springing up everywhere with big budget establishments which are nice to dissect their architectural and detailed construction.

No aeroplanes in the sky, which I miss, but lots of noisy helicopters for some reason, maybe tourist joy flights.

Wed, Sat and Sunday markets are a nice outing for either a stroll, or provisioning. Eumundi markets are very busy and expensive, (even Manabu’s - x CiSRA QA engineer’s Açai) Noosa market is expensive but very high quality and mainly locals, while Yandina market is herbal, bit Scotland Is. like, but good cheap fresh vegetables and interesting second hand tools. Noosa market has apparently the world’s best Portuguese Custard Tarts, but as I’m yet to experience them to date.

We are slowerly getting use to water efficiency, being mindful our tank isn’t bottomless. A washing load uses 50 litres a cycle, 2x showers and there’s another 50 litres even when turning water off to soap up! We are now using the ‘grey’ water to water the new trees and shrubs we have planted rather than using the tank water. I’ll try to jerry rig some roofing to collect ‘free’ rain water but don’t want to over do the squatter development we are creating.

A day now consists of working in the morning till about 12/1 then to the beach on bike for a swim and picnic lunch, then back to work at 2:30/3 till dark. Bit hot in direct sun around lunchtime, but beautiful in the shade. Hope summer is not a killer, but probably will be. Might have to hang at at the freezer section at Woolies during the hot days.

I’ve also discovered 7eleven $1 coffee is on par with a good $4.50 cup, except for the crema. A trip to Bunnings in the morning or arvo includes a $1 coffee stop. I kid you not it’s acceptable (the quality). I buy ground coffee for home at Padres at Noosaville, settling on one blend after trying a few. It’s a cool place with nice but pretty coffee serious staff.

The best cake/bread shop is actually at a Shell garage at Noosaville too. You have to be told, you’d never discover it unless getting petrol. Just awesome French style stuff with lots of choices and they are constantly baking.

Paddler Andy Ross, another refugee from Sydney, has started a TT on the Noosa river on Sunday mornings so that’s now part of the weekly timetable, as is a training session on Friday mornings run by the local kayak shop. Nice bunch, glorious weather, champagne water.

The hinterland provides miles of great roads, cooler weather and cute little villages for stops. Too many craftie shops for my liking but that’s ok, old people have to have something to enjoy. A ride or drive up the hinterland is nice to have a break from digging.

Can’t find any boxing classes unless you pay $20 + for a session, Matt’s classes st North Ryde were a bargain, and hundreds of yoga classes if that’s your (not my) thing.

The beach. Noosa main beach is beautiful as you know. Minimal surf unless the swell is running which makes for a very pleasant cool off. Hastings Street is fabulous too. Just like being in some swish Melbourne Street but right on the ocean. If you holiday in Noosa I’d recommend paying a bit extra and staying on Hastings, it’s worth it by a mile. Forget the car just walk, eat and swim. Staying anywhere else in the area is hardly worth coming for.

Been very dry since we moved. The creek has stopped flowing over the little weir. Grass still nice and green except where I have driven the tractor over it infinite times, turning it to bull dust. Suppose to rain this week which will be interesting to see if we survive the camp out in a wet spell :).

Haven’t seen a snake yet, but I’m told it’s just a matter of time. I walk around like I’m in a mine field. We have jumping ants as we have mentioned which we are gradually eliminating. We also have a ‘cheese tree’ (look it up), which should be called a pumpkin tree, which has the unfortunate attribute of housing those seething balls of catapillars. Bit creepy, especially for Tokyo girls. We have BBQ’d two lots to date. Apparently coming into skin contact with them is not a recommended experience.

Anyway back to work. Digging the driveway at present. Want to get it done so the Port-a-loo lorry can get to down to our loo without having to go thru the neighbours. Everyone needs a goal :).

Btw we now have a lounge available in the annex for one overnight visitor. Who will be first?

[kennedy-writes]

Some More Info About Aidan :)

So @decantae tagged me in the Character Creation Tag (thank you!), which is perfect because I’m posting lots about my OCs this week. I made a post about Aidan here, and now here is some more info: 

1) What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.?)

In the earliest stages of my WIP, back in summer of 2017, maybe earlier, Aidan was named Elaine. The story was suuuuper different it’s crazy. But the concept of her role in the story was the same, and I believe this was the first thing I considered for her. She would be the first to break away from the cruel programming/conditioning imposed on her generation and successfully escape to discover an alternate way of living and feeling. She also always had a close ally in a man whose name has been Thor, Jagger, Aryeh, Lev, and now Sammie. Jagger is a different character now.

2) Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

Elaine (proto-Aidan?) was the first character I really designed, but I designed her knowing that she’d have a close platonic relationship with someone like Thor. Elaine was re-designed into Aidan, and it’s the same thing: I designed her knowing she’d have a close relationship with two other people: Stella, a girl from the city, and Aryeh, now Sammie, the librarian. I’m thinking now that Stella might actually be unnecessary to the novel so I may have to cut her out though :( but we’ll see

3) How did you choose their name?

I love names for girls that are traditionally masculine, and I wanted something that meant sunny or fire or something of that sort. This was because I was toying with the idea of having her with a fiery name and then Thor with the thunder-god name. But it also fits her personality so I didn’t change it after Thor left the picture.

4) In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

I don’t have all of Aidan’s backstory perfectly figured out yet (I’m doing this as I go whoops). But the city is a proclaimed techno-utopia run by rich inventors, scientists, and engineers acting on their wildest fantasies and discarding all ethics, a utopia that serves only their society (governors, celebrities, the wealthy and their favored individuals), at the expense of a class of laborers and staff who were literally made to do certain types of work and nothing else. SO Aidan was one of these people but she was a bit different because she was designed to play in the orchestra. The environment of the city - very sterile, imposing, restrictive - is probably the most influential part in her development once she runs away.

5) Is there any significance behind their hair colour?

Sort of, not really. I think black hair is cool. I dyed mine black a bit ago and felt good about it. I wanted Aidan to evoke that vibe. 

6) Is there any significance behind their eye colour?

No.

7) Is there any significance behind their height?

No. She is shorter than most other characters though. 

8) What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

Her whole arc is partly a metaphor for coming into your emotions after having them suppressed for so long, and navigating what that feels like. So that’s a thing I can relate to. 

9) Are they based off of you, in some way?

Yeah, somewhat. She’s the only one who is, though. The others may have bits of me in them, but not Based On Me. 

10) Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

Yeah! I mean I thought bisexual at first but I changed it to pansexual because it seemed to fit her better.

11) What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: Writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

I don’t do art (yet. I try, sometimes) but I have made a mood board for her. So no difficulty to report yet. Here is the moodboard btw:

12) How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

This is a hard one to answer because I don’t know when the canon events end. There might be more than one book? I don’t really think too far in the future for her, as I don’t imagine she does much either, because the desert is a very in-the-moment kind of space. Aidan hardly knows what she’s going to do tomorrow, and neither do I.

13) If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

1. The trauma from having to suppress her emotions and being forced to play music for the rich for so long absolutely informs the way she goes about her new life. She is angry. She tries to just forget about everything about the first 20 years of her life, and truly believes it doesn’t affect her anymore, but it totally does in ways she doesn’t realize. She’s also a little jealous of people who’ve lived in the desert all their lives.

2. This anger often mixes in with the overwhelming love she feels towards all the new things - the friends, the landscape, the freedom and agency she has now, etc. At her core she’s very much in love with the world and wants to help others. The desire to help feels like an immense pressure, and she often overdoes it on her training with Vala. She’s just a very intense but compassionate bean.

14) What is something about your OC that can make you laugh?

When she gets to the desert, she might as well have been born yesterday, everything’s new to her. Her enthusiastic reactions to ordinary things that everyone takes for granted are funny in my head. (Haven’ t written this yet!)

15) What is something about your OC can make you cry?

Aidan wants to be close to people, wants to let them in. But she’s afraid that there’s nothing insider her, because she’s from the city and was “made” rather than raised in a human household. She’s scared that she will bring people close only for them to find out she is empty with nothing to give. She covers this up with a loud and energetic demeanor. She’s also very emotionally open and candid despite this fear, which is proof that her fear is unfounded, but she still freaks out when people get too close. The emotional turmoil that comes with that is super heartbreaking to me. Also how attached she gets to Sammie - this will Hurt later. 

16) Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

Not necessarily a regret (I’m not so far in that I can’t change something), but I’m like…. How am I going to come up with a plausible way for her background in the city to deprive her of a sense of humanity - sci fi isn’t my forte, but then again, fiction isn’t either. I’m a poet, mostly. I’m just figuring stuff out as I go.

17) What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

That she isn’t in love with the librarian. It’s very specific, but Aidan wants platonic intimacy more than anything. She does experiment with sex but her relationship with the librarian must be platonic. Aryeh became Sammie, an eccentric gay man in his late 30s. (That they don’t fall in love allowed me to widen the age gap; I felt that Sammie had to be a bit older.) He has a huge collection of curiosities and books and artefacts, and Aidan’s drive to learn as much as she can about the world that’s been hidden from her brings her close to him.

18) What is your favourite fact about your OC?

She has a segment on Laurie’s radio show called The Finest Hour, in which she talks about music and plays her favorite records she finds in Sammie’s archives. I really really could not resist giving her my music tastes. also she loves climbing rocks.

So that’s Aidan! Next up is Sammie!! I was going to do Vala next but I’m really excited about Sammie because he’s basically the newest character and I love him a lot. After him is Ryan - I did merge and adapt that one flash fiction piece with my bigger WIP and I have no regrets. and then Vala, then Marian, then maybe Laurie then Jagger, then anyone else I didn’t do. Cool? Cool. 

I’ll also take this time to apologize for all the WIPs I sort of started or teased a bit ago, I saw a post yesterday that made me really self conscious about that lol. I don’t mean to do it. but also those WIPs came from a different me and I’m not that me anymore, if that makes sense. If I do pick them back up, and I do intend to for some of them, they’ll be a little different.  But my main focus right now is Where Stars Go To Die. Thanks for understanding!

[bae-b-8-imagines]

Youth - Poe x Reader (College AU)

Author’s Note: It took me so long to get this out, but it is finally here! I hope you like it @summerlogy! Requests are open! Feel free to message me! :) Stay gold! 

Request: Hello! Could you do Poe X Reader Modern University student AU based on the song Youth, by troye sivan? Where they are best friends for life and known each-other since they’re babies and everybody knows they are best friends but suddenly Poe notices that he loves her and propose quoting the lyrics of the song. I hope this is not too much, and sorry if my english is poor. It’s not my first language btw 😭💧 And your writings are sooo amazing 💘💘

Warnings: None, Fluff

Word Count: 2100+

ALL LYRICS TO THE SONG BELONG TO THE ARTIST

Your hair was slowly falling out of the messy bun that sat atop of your head. The pencil you were holding scratched across the exam that you were writing right now. You blew air from your lips to try and blow the stray hair out of your face, but to no avail. Eventually you finished scribbling your answer on the paper and set your pencil down. The strand of hair was tucked behind your ear and you walked up to the professor to turn in your exam. He nodded his head and wished you a good summer holiday. As you walked out the door you saw your best friend of twenty years, Poe Dameron. He looked shocked to see you finished so quickly, you stuck your tongue out at him and exited the classroom.

That was your final exam before your last semester of university! You were going to graduate with a bachelors in mechanical engineering, and Poe with a bachelors in astrophysics. The two of you had been inseparable since you were about four years old. You had met at preschool and were best friends since then. You both loved and hated the same things, and there was never a dull moment when the two of you would hang out, which happened to be very often considering you were both roomates.

It had felt so normal when the two of you had moved in together. Like nothing in life could ever push you apart. It just seemed to work perfectly with you two together. One of the main things that worked great between the two of you was that each one of you were respectful about the other’s life. If there was something that Poe wanted to do with his friends, you were okay with it. Why would there be any reason not to be.

The two of you hadn’t encountered any situation with opposing significant others though. The last time you had been on a date was in high school, since then it was mostly drunken kisses that you didn’t remember the next morning. As for Poe, he had been in a long term relationship with a girl since the middle of high school till the first year at university.

As you rode your bike to the shared flat on the outskirts of the town you passed by a small ice cream shoppe that was only open in the Summer. You were happy to see that it was finally opened, and stopped by to get a scoop. The shoppe was crowded with students who had also just been released from the tightening grips of college exams, but the cold treat was worth the wait. You picked up a pint of chocolate ice cream to bring home for you and Poe to share.

When you got home you took of the bookbag that weighed down your shoulders and flung your body onto the couch that sat in the living room. You glanced at the clock that read 3:15, before closing your eyes. The slamming of a door made you open your eyes once more, slightly aggravated that you were woken from your small power nap.

“Poe, do you have to be so loud?” You groaned looking back up at the clock, only to see that you had been asleep for more than four hours.

“I wasn’t aware that you were going to be asleep. I thought you would’ve already called the take out for our celebration dinner tonight!” He exclaimed reaching for the phone.

You closed your eyes again, completely forgetting about the fact that you and Poe were supposed to order Chinese food and have a few friends over to celebrate. You could hear him speaking on the phone, but then he got really quiet and exited the room. You were confused. Poe was never the one to be quiet on the phone, especially not to the man who worked at the Chinese restaurant, the three of you had this odd relationship where you both accepted each other.

You sat up from your position on the couch and grabbed your phone from the coffee table in front of you. There were your typical instagram notifications, a few snapchats - although probably nothing more than a streak - and one or two texts from your friends who were coming over tonight. You opened Rey’s message first.

Hey Y/N, Finn and I should be there around 8:30. Do you think you could ask for extra duck sauce for us?

You laughed, whenever the two of you would go out for Chinese food and study dates she would always ask for extra duck sauce, even if she didn’t need it. Because, “It’s too precious to not use it on every bit and if you run out of duck sauce halfway through your spring roll what else is there to do in life but to die?” Sometimes she could be dramatic, but that’s just another reason why you loved her.

Glancing at the other text you saw that Hux and Ben would be here around the same time. You and Hux had shared many classes together. He wasn’t the nicest, or the coolest, dude to be around, but he had helped you so much that you figured inviting him over for some Chinese wouldn’t hurt. As for Ben, he was basically your cousin. Your godparent’s son. It was pretty much mandatory for you to invite him. Poe wasn’t the biggest fan, but he could deal with it.

After texting back Rey and glancing at your clock you realized that you only had about twenty minutes to do a little bit of cleaning and getting ready for everyone to be over. You put the little items that cluttered the room back in their places and headed to the restroom that you and Poe shared. You could hear that he was in the shower, but that was not going to stop you from using the mirror and putting on a little bit of makeup so you didn’t look like a zombie.

“Y/N? What are you doing?” Poe questioned, knowing it was you.

“What I do every time your taking a shower...duh.” You sated.

You were quickly finished and left, so that Poe would be undisturbed for the rest of the shower. You knew that he liked his privacy when it came to his hair routine. There was a knock at the door, so you closed the door to your bedroom and went to the front of the loft.

Sure enough your four friends were all standing there ready to welcome you. You hugged each of them before leading them into the living room to find a place to sit. There wasn’t much of a plan for tonight other than pigging out on Chinese food, and watching a scary movie. Immediately after you had taken your place on the couch, leaving enough room for Poe as well, the bell run. You stood up announcing that that was probably the Chinese delivery guy.

You opened the door and welcomed him in, like you normally did. Handing him the $50 bill you told him to keep the change.

“But it’s only a $32 charge, I can’t take a nearly 40% tip.” He said, cautious to take the money.

You insisted that he keep it. You were once where he was too. On the edge of 17, not knowing what you wanted to do with life, struggling to save for a college that your parents weren’t able to help pay for. Eighteen dollars wasn’t a lot, but it could help. Finally he accepted and made his way to his next delivery.

Poe came out of the restroom, hair as perfect as ever, wearing sweatpants that made him look nice. You weren’t going to lie to yourself when you said that you had the tiniest crush on Poe. It was basically impossible not to. You had always promised yourself that you wouldn’t let it get in the way of your relationship with him though. You knew that having Poe as your best friend was better than dating him and then it not working out and then not being friends at all.

Poe’s POV

Everyone was seated around the coffee table. Y/N was sitting next to me, her hair smelled so wonderful. Had she showered after she got home? That wasn’t important. I felt so nervous. Just last week I had realized the truth, that I was in love with Y/N. I had been since I broke up with Anne back in Freshman year. Y/N was the only girl I had eyes for, and I couldn’t let her slip through my fingers. Sure we would always being friends, but that wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to share everything with her, for the rest of my life. I had went out and bought a simple ring about two days ago. Finn was the only one who knew what I had planned for tonight.

“Alrighty what does everyone want to watch tonight?” He asked picking up the remote and turning on Netflix.

“Actually Finn?” I stopped him, “I have something I’d like to say to everyone.”

Your POV

Poe stood up holding his red solo cup in the air like he was about to toast.

“I just wanted everybody to know that all of you helped to make senior year great. Tomorrow we will be opening a new chapter in our lives, and I can only hope that we all continue to stay great friends. Hux, I know we aren’t the closest, but thanks for not totally freaking out when I am sarcastic with you. Ben, we may not get along, but any family of Y/N’s is a friend of mine. Rey, thanks for always being there for Y/N and for Finn. If you didn’t keep those two in check I’m not sure they would’ve graduated. Finn, thanks for being the best friend anyone could have asked for. So here’s to new chapters!” He cheered and raised his glass.

You played along with it, and raised yours as well, but you had to admit you were a bit hurt that he didn’t even mention you in his little speech that he gave. You looked into the TV screen as you drank from your cup.

“I have one more thing to say.” His voice rang out above everyone else’s cheers, “Y/N, what if we run away? What if we left today? What if we said goodbye to safe and sound?”

What was this? What was he getting at now? You weren’t entirely sure what was happening, but for some reason it made butterflies rupture in your chest, and a light blush to dust your cheeks.

“Y/N my youth is yours, tripping on skies, sipping waterfalls. My youth is yours runaway now. And forever more my youth is yours. A truth so loud you can’t ignore that my youth is yours. Y/N, we’ve been best friends since preschool. And I’ve been in love with you since high school. Our entire childhood, I have been wrapped around your finger. My youth is yours. And the fact that I love you is something you can’t ignore. I can’t imagine living another day being just best friends, because to me you are so much more than that. I want to grow old being yours. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Y/N L/N. We may have mortal bodies, but we have timeless souls. So this is me asking you. Will you marry me Y/N L/N?”

Poe was now on one knee right in front of you as you sat on the couch, cross legged, wearing your oldest tee shirt and sweats. Yet he still was here asking you to marry him. A tear made its way down your cheek and you quickly wiped it away before wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a bear hug.

“Of course I’ll marry you, Ace.” You choked out. That was all you could say because your throat was tight with emotion.

Poe hugged you in return, his arms clinging to your waist. You opened your eyes and could see that Finn had been recording the whole ordeal. He had to have known what was going on. Poe pulled away and placed the ring on your finger before kissing you on the lips. And while it was an unconventional proposal, you wouldn’t have had it any other way. Poe and you had spent your entire past together, so why not the entire future as well?

Tags: @heyohheyitsgabi @mrsdaamneron @o-brienwrites @summerlogy @emily-vole

[reveusestudieuse]

Hello !!! And welcome to my (not so new) studyblr !

I’m Elea and I join tumblr two years ago and it’s been two years since I discover studyblr and reblog everything I like so today I’m finally introducing myself !

About me !

○ I’m a girl, 17 yo and from France

○ I’ll be a “college freshman” next year (2017-2018)

○ My personnality type is INFP-T, my zodiac sign is sagittarius and I’m a Gryffinfor/Pukwoodgenie

○ I speak french, english and spanish (not perfectly for the last two, sorry)

Things I love :

○ Music ! All kind ! From kpop to the beatles going through the neighbourhood and OST. I LOVE music !

○ Photography ! The picture up there is mine btw

○ TV shows (definitely don’t help with procrastination …) I like k-dramas, marvel tv shows and more

○ Bullet journaling ! It’s been a year since I start mine and I’m crazy about it !

○ My friends ! It might sound cheesy but they are my life ! I don’t know what I would be without them !

○ Travelling ! My parents gave me their love for travel and I got the chance to go to Canada, New York City and China among others. But three dreams of mine are to do a backpacking worldtour, USA roadtrip (how cliché) and a European capital tour (next summer hopefully)

School stuff :

○ I’m heading over the Université de technologie de Troyes next year to become a mechanical engineer but I don‘t know yet which class i’ll take next semester. I’ll definitely make a post about it soon !

○ This summer I’m reviewing/learning again my english grammar to improve my skills (I apologize if I made mistakes …)

Why this blog ?

○ I love learning and I do like school but it’s really hard (if not impossible) for me to only make one thing at a time … I wish posting stuff will help me ! So to stay focus

○ To share my school system with you ! (click here to discover the french school system)

○ To motivate myself in my studies

○ To find inspiration

Studyblr that inspire me :

@noorstudy, @studyign, @studywithinspo, @apricot-studies, @studyrelief, @tbhstudying, @sootudying, @study-bunni, @vestiblr, @educatier, @genspen, @alcyonien, @marias-studyblr, @bluelahe, @ill-try-a-studyblr, …

I would be grateful if you like or reblog (of follow) !!! I’ll track #reveusestudieuse. Merci pour votre attention !!! ♥♥♥

[execgoldiebillion]

I’m seriously tired of people who claim themselves righteous and “supportive”

They say they know you yet they claim to make false claims. Btw I’m 20 years old and yes I study something in STEM and I’m not saying what it is. It could be anything along the lines of life science, computer science, technology or engineering. 

Yet I’m not telling you what because clearly you don’t deserve it. But you know who I detest most? Backstabbers

Yeah, you guys were so supportive of Leafy and drooled the fuck out of him but when he became irrelevant, you guys were like “fuck him”. I guess that’s the world these days. When someone goes down, very few people support them. and most people either make fun of them or ignore them. Although I don’t see much of Leafy’s vids these days, I would never make fun of someone who still sees his videos because I was once a fan for him, so why would I make fun of someone who is? And yes, at times I do support him as I was once his fan. But you guys clearly went on the “hate” bandwagon, it’s disgusting! This is why people get depressed, because toxic people like you make fun of others and state blatant lies and when someone is going downhill, simply neglect them and call people losers who support them. No, they’re not losers.... they’re called “humane people” because humans are supposed to support one another through good and bad times. 

You know what’s more sickening? The fact that people who are supposed “to support you” take sides for the other people who doesn’t support the person they’re “supposed to support” aka @nicoletteesachef. She claims she’s supportive of Leafy, yet takes side of someone who calls Leafy supporters losers!  That’s rather sad honestly. Moreover, I am honestly disgusted by the people who support my haters yet act nice in front of me.... real 2 faced honestly.

Anyways I’m done. I’m going to be starting summer classes rather soon so I’ll be waaay busy doing school work than involve in your stupid drama games. I’m out! I don’t want to have to do anything with you toxic people aka backstabbers. Clearly, I’m writing this an hour before heading off to work so yea I’m a busy gal but tries to multitask, but I ain’t wasting time with you guys no more!  

Anyways, for the other blogs not involved with this drama, I guess you’re quite confused. But just keep in mind, there are actually good people who may not claim they are (believe me I have experienced this irl) and people who act all cuddly with you but break your heart immensely. All I can say is it takes experience to spot a backstabber/ snake. Calvin I hope one day you’ll see who are the type of people you’re involved with and hopefully stay away from them. That’s all I can say right now. This is your life, you make the call... 

P.S I’d like to thank some blogs for being supportive of me because they deserve the praise! @clajira @comedically-blunt @melmayworld @lizziebct @pyroisswag @thestarryknightsky @calvins-ass @leafy-is-a-penguin  @actuallyleafy and @shibainu-komugi for their cute shibes to make my day! Anyways, follow their blogs, they’re cool people! :) 

[perfectionistincrisis]

Longest post ever. Keep Scrolling! Look away!

About my brother leaving. Now there are two sides to it. One is how he is so young & he will move so far away & has to take care of everything. He has to study first of all, which is the main thing. And this in itself is a whole new experience. Starting university & facing all the pressure & tight schedule & deadlines that come with it. And to top that all, he will move to a new country. An entirely new place he has never been to & one which is very very very different from the country where he was born & raised & literally spent entire 18 years of his life in. Now whether this is the lifestyle & culture & religion we are talking about, or just the weather. You name it, & it's something different he has to face. Let's go back to studies. The ‘studies’ part, is totally acceptable! I mean it's his responsibility. No one will or is expected to do it or help him with it. This is totally on him. He has to figure it out himself. If he needs help, he needs to look for it. If he has a problem he needs to find a way out, or deal with it. The idea of having an elder sibling or family to help you with your studies, i believe, is totally absurd when someone is moving to university. At school, it might be ok but when someone is starting uni, cmon, I think it's time to stop already. Let them grow up on their own. You can't be wiping their ass for them their entire life. Not to mention, everyone has their own share of responsibilities, their own affairs to handle. Everyone of us are struggling everyday, to build our futures. And NO. This is not selfish. This is our responsibility towards ourselves. We owe this to ourselves, and no, you are not in any way, supposed to expect anyone to actually help you deal with your responsibilities in life. So with you share of duties, is it really selfish to focus on your affairs & prioritize them? & also what good will you be really doing by helping someone? How much of someone else's responsibilities can you own? There will come a point where you’ll have to leave them on their own except that now you've already spoiled them and they'll be more lost than ever. So yeah, plus i'm not even studying engineering so anyways i couldn't do much or anything at all but even if i could have, i really never liked the whole concept of doing it in ‘uni’. I have such a strong opinion about it seeing my cousins and other people. Meaning, it's not just me randomly thinking about it and commenting but i rather did always have such an opinion about this matter. So yeah that's the only ‘okay’ thing! From now, things are changing. Now, let's talk about the end of everyday! When he comes ‘home’/ dorm room. He doesn't come home to anyone. Whether it is your siblings being lame and stupid, or your parents being in a fight, or some really good day where everyone's happy and laughing - you're not getting any of it. Is anyone bringing you food? Cooking for you exactly what you eat? No. When are you going to bed? No one cares other than you. Who’s making sure you wake up and don't miss class in the morning? Who’s making you breakfast? Filling your water flask? You buy your food if you have time before class. Such a good day, just 3 classes and you're home by 11. Who do you go home to? Yourself. Weekends? .. Nvm But we are only trying to provide the best future for him. And i can NOT disagree to this at all. Not even for a second. Since almost a year, my dad & my mom has thought of everything & every tiny thing that we will need for him. Whether it is the fact that winter clothes are sold in shops during winter and winter in ksa was 6 months ago, so keeping that in mind and shopping for him things which is just too hard to get in the shops right now cause it's totally summer rn over here! Or whether it is something more serious like meeting all the different formalities to apply for a visa. And shopping for him all these months. Making lists of everything he might need. Things like plate, glass, things like rugs, things like brush, toothpaste, things like pillows, bed sheet, things like laundry basket, warm gloves, things like rain coat. Like you name it, and it somehow is something he actually needs. Also, we are so concerned about providing him the best. I think all my life, a part of shopping included looking at the price tag and seeing if its a good bargain. But now, suddenly thats not done anymore. Anything he touches (which is very little btw) & anything we choose for him (which is like every single thing we see), its just getting the best for him. Its like theres this thing in our heads. Like this is it. My brother hardly gets anything for himself. He is kind of different. So we are just getting him all these stuff because once he goes there, he might not get it for himself. And even if he does, us getting something for him now will be the last time we are doing so. Cause from now on he'll do his stuff himself. So like i was saying. We are only trying to provide the best future for him. And i can NOT disagree to this at all. Not even for a second. And this is a stage that comes in everyone's life & we can not and should not run from it. This is the right thing to do in my brother’s case. Everything till now has gone so smoothly Alhamdulillah. But it still doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Especially when i think of my mom. I get the whole idea of how it's the hardest on the moms. In fact i have even witnessed many moms crying & breaking when their kids had to leave and all. But. This is different. I am talking about ‘my mom’. I respect all mother’s love, i do. But about my mom; unless you live under the same roof as her, you will find it impossible to believe how much of her heart & soul & energy she invests on our family. For which, I will be forever grateful & will consider myself blessed. I will never be able to start and finish talking about her but let me mention some interesting stuff! Let's start with me! So im 21. And i don't do my laundry (none of it at all), i don't vacuum (the house or even just my room), I don't iron my clothes (never did), I don't clean the dishes (not even my own plate or glass or water flask), I don't clean my room (the furnitures & stuff) & interestingly, i don't even know how to make tea or coffee (unless it's those sachets you get, but i just use them at uni). TADA - Mom does all of that for me. I don't remember the last time i did ‘any’ of the things i mentioned. I can't say i never did any of them though, but it was only for one of the 2 reasons: 1. I was younger and mom got angry with me maybe & she’d punish me by making me do it OR 2. I voluntarily offered maybe cause it was vacation and i wasn't lazy & stuff (btw this vacation, i'm totally lazy, i never offered or did anything) So like i said, i don't remember the last time i did any of it. Infact, to TOP ALL THAT, mom makes sure of all my ‘excess’ needs too. She pays so much importance to them. Like, my diet. Diet - meaning the food i eat. Now regardless of whether im trying to lose weight or not, i totally dont like asian food, more specifically, all the daily food cooked in a bengali household. I dont like ‘curries’. I prefer ‘dry’ food. It doesnt matter what it is. Chicken, beef or veggie. If its a ‘curry’, im not putting it in my mouth. Curry meaning the whole making it liquidy with all masala & stuff. And i ‘especially’ hate chicken curry. I also dont honestly remember the last time i ate it. And i am NOT exaggerating but i stopped eating it like way back in grade 11 or 12. By chicken curry, i mean the MOST REGULAR meal in almost every bengali household, more like an EVERYDAY meal especially for the kids. And it works for my bros too lol. But no way on hell im eating it. The reason is, this is one food ive been eating since i learned to ear and then after around a pretty 13 to 14 years of eating chicken curry i had to say NO one fine day xD xD Ok now i have 2 phases: one is the normal daily phase where unis going on and i'm stressed and all i eat is junk food, or maybe something not junk but has to be all delicious or maybe sometimes i'll consider eating healthy and want some classy salad and stuff. Mom always has to prepare a different meal or me. Then she has to prepare something else for her and dad too cause chicken is kids stuff and also mom does not eat chicken at all if she is the one who cooked it so yeah. And then there's chicken for my bros xD On top of that, when im in the other phase where im trying to lose weight - Oh god. The whole menu of food changes. All green veggies and salads and stuff. All grilled chicken, grilled fish, grilled beef. She does all of that. Also. she THEN ‘decorates’ my food cause she knows i love taking pictures of my food. She decorates my food. She makes sure I like the plate on which she is serving the food; whether the plate will look good in the picture. She makes sure I get to take a perfect picture. If she gets confused about how to decorate something, she'll tell me to do it and ask me what i need. I mean man, who does that to a 21 year old???? I know i am spoiled! Now ^ i got carried away! All that is a small gesture of what my mom does for ‘me’. And i'm like her eldest kid. Like she actually thinks i can take care of myself ‘more than my brothers can’ Yeah do you see where i'm going with this? You can not imagine HOW much more she does for my bros, like ‘woahhhh’👌 I’ll just give one example for each bro. My elder bro - he never actually had to open his closet and decide on which dress to wear till now in his life!!!!! Yesss!!!!! Mom even takes out his clothes. Clothes. Every garment :):):) and keeps it ready for him to wear every time he showers, or changes, or goes outside :) and that's the one who’s already 18 and moving soon! And my younger bro - well he is kinda different. Like he is all concerned about his looks and he demands on choosing his own clothes from his closet and wearing them xD xD but then mom still feeds him lunch and dinner most of the day and he is almost 14 :):):) So yes. Idk how my mom is going to handle it. But what i know is that she is such a brave and strong and intelligent and amazing woman mashAllah. She is so hard-working & she puts aside all her sickness and pain & prioritises our needs, and our wants, even if theyre really stupid. And she means the world to me. And she is my number 1 person. And I can give up anything for her. Words cannot express how much she means to me. I once had to stay a night away from her during the 1st week of my uni in 1st year of med school. That was the night I actually realized how important she was to me. I was away from her and due to some circumstance I couldn't communicate with her. That whole night, i lied in bed crying & asking Allah to let me meet my mom in my dreams as I fall asleep now… Idk if I ever told that to anyone before, but yeah here it is. Ahhhh. God!!!!! Such a huge post wth man )@+%;’!(%)#!%(£))@!%!%) but Ughhhh I just needed to get it all out of my system! Hmphhh