#i’ve only gained like 10 bot followers that’s not too bad

[glutenfreepng]

goodnight to my beatiful porn bots❤️😘😘👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩😘❤️💕👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💖💗😚😚💗💖💞💓 and mutuals…gn i guess

[takaraphoenix]

spuffy for the ask game since you have a spuffy story coming up on your schedule?

Yes, yes I do! And sure can do! ^-^

I love Spuffy. It has been one of my absolute favorite ships from all fandoms for many years, but ever since I also read the comic continuation, I gotta say, Spuffy is the favorite ship. The most beloved of all ships I've ever sailed.

They are the embodiment of hero/villain enemies turned lovers.

And they have my favorite m/f dynamic; he's full of snark and bastard energy, but oh is he soft for her.

And they also have that thing that makes me love ships the most; it's a ship between my two favorite characters from that franchise. If a ship unites my two faves, it just instantly gains more of my love, because it means I get them both, at the same time, happy, with each other.

I love the way their dynamic slowly changes over the seasons.

I have a soft spot for early bastard secondary villain Spike, he is hilarious and Buffy's annoyance with him is delightful.

And then he has his literal oh moment of realizing he's into Buffy and he doesn't know how to handle it and he handles it in the whackiest, weirdest way possible. I mean, role playing with Harm? Having Warren build a sex bot? The incredibly awkard stalking?

But things get more serious and less of a comic relief "look at that poor bastard" when Spike becomes one of the people Buffy trusts. One of the people she trusts the most, I'd say, considering she leaves her mother and her sister with him, repeatedly.

Season 5 is such a good Spuffy season in that Spike becomes a Scooby by sheer force of will. Somewhere in my mind still lives an alternate spin where the Scoobies do escape Glory in their RV and just... have a merry roadtrip with each other.

And sure, it's easy to dismiss Spike - easy for Buffy and the other characters. Because he's a vampire, and not a fancy one with a soul like Angel. He might lust for Buffy, but it can't be love, right.

But, and that's what makes me love this ship so much, it is love, even without a soul. (It's also what makes me love Spike so much, because he is such a complex character with so much growth who was already so much more than just a vampire even without his soul.)

Him bringing flowers after Joyce died, not to somehow score points with Buffy, but because he genuinely liked Joyce and they had genuinely bonded with each other. Because he mourns, even without a soul.

And, the biggest evidence as to him genuinely loving her - he stays, when Buffy dies.

If it were all misplaces lust that he blows out of proportion, he wouldn't have stayed. Buffy was dead and since Willow, Tara and Xander didn't tell him about wanting to resurrect her, he had no reason to stay, no reason to believe she would ever be back.

But he stayed in Sunnydale. And not just to mourn and get drunked and fucked up, the way he did when Dru dumped him.

He was a Scooby. For months, he worked with them to protect Sunnydale, to fight demons, to help raise Dawn. He took on so much responsibility and for the first time truly became a hero, a good guy. He fought for the good cause, not to impress Buffy and score points with her, not out of any misplaced reasons. Solely because she was gone and he wanted to honor her legacy, he wanted to do what she would do if she were still there, he wanted to protect those she had died to protect.

I have a very complicated relationship to season 6's Spuffy. It's very self-destructive, on both parts. She's only using him, he becomes her bad coping mechanism with being brought back to life. And he knows that, but he can't stay away. Personally, I think all of Seeing Red was a huge mistake and especially after the build-up of what they had Spike do for Buffy so far without a soul, it... it felt like a whole different writer with entirely different ideas just grabbed the script and hijacked it at that point, to be quite frank. I do think that at that point in how Spike's character was established, it was OoC. Even if you try to argue that their relationship had already been a mess of mixed signals, with "I hate you, you disgust me" being followed by mindblowing sex, I still think that this was pushing things too far.

But it brought us Spike going to get his soul, so I digress.

And then comes season 7 and season 7 is just peak Spuffy. Season 7 is my happy place. Gods. The way Buffy cares for him, the way she protects him, from the others, from the First, from himself. The way she stands up for him. How she keeps choosing him.

The way they banter and raise "the children" together once he feels better.

And when everyone in an act of being incredibly, impossibly, forcibly OoC just turns their back on Buffy and also stabs hers, repeatedly, he is still there. He tells them off the way I was yelling at my screen too and then he found her and comforted her and simply held her.

And then he died. Not for her, but because he actually was a hero. And it wrecked me. (The best thing AtS ever did was bring Spike back to live, imo.)

Let's skip season 8 to the end, where he comes in as the knight in shining armor, having done his research on how to stop the apocalypse unfolding once again and how, even though she had just hooked up with Angel, she immediately starts fantasizing about Spike as soon as he's in the room? I swear, season 8 is a freaking mess.

But season 9... really hurts. That she'd come to him, of all the people she knows and loves, she comes to him when she doesn't know how to keep going, when she considers running away and raising a child, being a family. He is the person she thinks about. And he is the person she comes to for back-up when she decides to have an abortion. Whether she goes to a happy place or a dark place, in both scenarios she chose him over everyone else, to have him at her side.

And season 10 finally gives us the canon romantic relationship between them. Finally, they actually get together and it is so good. The way they communicate with each other, the way she reassures him that she chose him and no one's going to come between them, tells him that he is a good man and also finds for herself that she is not just happy in this relationship, she also finds that she loves herself more, she likes the person she is when she is with him (she literally says that).

Buffy has a freaking mind-journey, traveling into Spike's mind and seeing and feeling just how much he loves her, how regardless of what else is going on, he loves her.

They are... They are everything I always dreamed they could be in a real relationship - they have their problems, but they talk them through, they reassure and support each other, they're domestic and cute, they make each other better, not by changing the other but by supporting the other and giving each other the chance to be their best self.

When they actually are in a real relationship, neither of them is jealous. And both have shown in the past to be prone to jealousy. But when Buffy tells Spike that Angel is her past and that he is her present, he accepts that and he doesn't feel the need to be a jackass around Angel. And when Spike tells Buffy about his could-have-been Dylan, Buffy doesn't get jealous over her, no, she decides they should go to Dylan's art-show and she gets along splendidly with her.

Season 11 is an overall rough ride, I mean, they are literally locked inside an internment camp for nearly the whole season. But the Spuffy keeps you going, because they are so strong together, they make this work, together.

The season ends with them kissing, with Buffy saying "I love you" for the very first time and all Scoobies being together and it's... the picture-perfect ending to Buffy the Vampire Slayer that I could have ever imagined.

(There is no season 12 in my mind. That was Fray-centric garbage that did a disservice to Buffy as a character.)

Send me a ship and I will explain why I do or don't ship it

[floating-in-the-blue]

The lovely @tired-eyes-cold-as-ice tagged me in this. THANK YOU, SWEETIE!!! <3

1. Why did you choose your url?

So my Internet name has always been Yeoyou but when I made this blog, that wasn't available (rude) so I used the title of a Stargate Atlantis fanfic I was (more or less) writing at the time since it seemed to fit (yah know, tumblr + blue and stuff ;P). It took some getting used to being called by that url because I thought of it more as a sort of 'address' or Yeoyou is floating in the blue and blogging random stuff but now I've adopted it as a second Internet name :D

2. Side blogs

Yes: floating-fanart and writing-in-the-blue. But they're basically just dumping grounds for my fanart/fanfic so people who are interested in that but not the other stuff I blog and reblog can follow those accounts and are spared all the rest. So they're more archival than interactive ;D (I also have only minimal follower numbers there and 2/3 of these people follow my regular blog anyway so I'm grateful but also puzzled as why they follow those too?)

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

2012, baby! Fandom old, tumblr old, still here ...

4. Do you have queue tag?

I ... well, I have a queue and actually rarely reblog things straight away but I do not have a special q tag. Tbh, I don't quite get why people have it? Except for making glorious puns?

5. Why did you start your blog?

I was tired of saving every single screenshot and gif from Iron Man 2 I saw on that one person's blog and decided to just get a blog and collect them there instead ;D

6. Why did you choose your icon?

Because "floating in the blue" as the fanfic title came about by opening a random book and selecting a line (because I've always been bad about titles). The book was winnie-the-pooh and the line was part of his little cloud song he sings while hanging onto a blue balloon, trying to convince the bees he's not a bear out for honey but just a little blue cloud ;D

7. Why did your choose your header?

It's blue. Honestly, that's it. It was the only random blue image I could find on my computer.

8. Post with the most notes?

So, according to the jetblackcode Top 10 counter, out of the 43,880 posts on my blog, only 633 are original and the one with the most notes (1,337) is this photoshop edit I did of the lovely Phryne Fisher (Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries) in May 2017, which I still really like. Close second place, with 1,127 notes, is this fanart for Agent Carter from 2016.

Btw, the no 10 on my most popular posts has only 211 notes so you see, I'm definitely not a popular blog (#floating-in-obscurity) ;D

9. How many mutuals do you have?

50. But some of those haven't posted anything in the last 7 years so ... XD

But hey, shoutout to @diamondorloj who was my first mutual and who is still here with me and I love that! <3

10. How many followers do you have?

524. Most of which I assume inactive, actually. I tried to sort out the porn and spam bots so hopefully there aren't too many of those. But yeah, have been around since 2012 so ...

Funnily enough, I think I lost one follower or two over the blacklist thing and have gained about 23 since then XD

I don't know what you're all doing here but I appreciate you <3

11. How many people do you follow?

149. I'm actually very selective which is partly due to having a slight OCD need of 'catching up', i.e. going back to where I left off so I don't miss anything ... which is not really a good thing and stresses me out too often.

12. ever made a shitpost?

Depends on your definition?

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

Too much, due to the aforementioned need to catch up. Since I'm currently working most days from home and don't have enough work to really keep me occupied, I do spend a lot of time here. That's gonna get interesting when I have to go back to the office every day. But I've found so many cool new people to talk recently, which also isn't helping me to stay away XD

14. Did you ever have fight/argument with other blog?

Well, some apparently have a problem with me but nope, I didn't engage so no actual fights and arguments.

15. How do you feel about "You need to reblog this" posts?

If I wanted to reblog it before, I usually don't reblog it when I see that, out of spite.

16. Do you like tag games?

YES! I love getting tagged in things because it means somebody thought of me???? How cool is that!!?!?! I may forget to do them but yes, please tag me in all the things! <3

17. Do you like ask games?

Too much. I try not to reblog too many because whenever I have time to do them and want to do them, people usually aren't logged in and then I'm frustrated. What do you mean other people have other things to do on the weekend?

And if people then reblog the thing from me and get sooo many asks? Different kind of frustration. I know I'm just an obscure blog but dammit, don't shove it in my face ;P

But yeah, if you ever asked me something from an ask game I posted, chances are I'm very fond of you now. If you replied to my answer, I'll defend you to the death!

18. Which of your tumblr friends/mutuals do you think is famous?

Do you mean tumblr famous or actual famous? The answer is probably neither because who knows? Unless Owen Patrick Joyner, alleged tumblerite, is somehow following me. In which case: have fun, sweetie, but don't put too much stuff on the Internet you might regret later, okay? Okay.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Platonic crushes and infatuations? Yeah, to some degree, but real crushes hardly ever happen to me anyway.

Low-pressure tagging: @merihn, @modernvintage, @elliebirdthings, @diamondorloj, @kbstories <3 (as always: feel free to ignore or intend to do later and forget)

[programmed-and-dangerous]

I posted 28,647 times in 2021

31 posts created (0%)

28616 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 923.1 posts.

I added 83 tags in 2021

#0 - 3 posts

#save - 27 posts

#audio - 21 posts

#neuralblender - 8 posts

#fave - 6 posts

#ya know - 6 posts

#mine - 3 posts

#👀 - 3 posts

#terrible - 3 posts

#nice - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#i don’t know how to describe that if i’m thinking visually/specially that whatever image appears briefly in the top right of my vision

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

What the fuck is that

5 notes • Posted 2021-09-28 22:26:10 GMT

#4

bananas cant handle humidity so they literally just undress themselves that's hilarious

a terrible fact found by my roommate after our bananas did that and the bananas at starbucks doing the same

6 notes • Posted 2021-04-16 05:06:45 GMT

#3

hi i'm super new to tumblr and u seem like u know stuff what should i know about this site lol

Never been asked anything like this before but I’ll give it a shot

1) first rule of any social media really. The block button is there for a reason. Curate your experience how you want it and don’t be afraid to block anyone for whatever reason. Not everyone on here has the best intentions

2) even though nsfw content is explicitly banned on the site now, the porn bots have recently found ways around the censors and have come back in force. Be aware of this especially if you’re a minor/someone who is triggered by this kind of content.

3) socially this website is full of all kinds of people, from teens doing their thing to astrophysicists and the moment any of them log in to this website, it’s a race to the bottom for intelligence. It’s not a bad thing it’s charming especially when some people are trying to make serious bad faith arguments and everyone replying is refusing to seriously engage (even though in my opinion it’s better to not even platform bad faith arguments)

4) in a similar vein, this website is full of misinformation like any other. My personal feed hasn’t had the same feed of dubious sources that it once had 4-5 years ago but stuff still passes through. I encourage doing your own research on subjects that matter. I often won’t fact check something if it’s something small, inconsequential, and entertaining and I’ll admit to that here

5) if you’re here to chase clout, don’t. No one here cares and that’s the biggest selling point in my eyes along with the sites inability to advertise anything effectively. I’ve been on this site since like 2013-2014 and gaining too much attention on this site is usually a beacon for some kind of hate. Seen plenty of users chased off this site over the years

6) if you have triggers or squicks (I guess like triggers but more just things you’re moderately uncomfortable with) and you see a mutual or someone you follow who doesn’t normally post about that thing, maybe let them know. It doesn’t have to be through dm to u can anonymously inbox them asking them to tag posts with some kind of tw tag

7) last one reminded me that there’s a way to blacklist tags on the site and I encourage everyone to do it. I’ve only got a couple but I don’t have triggers that can be set off by stuff I see on the internet

8) follow tags for things that interest you. You’ll find users who you may also want to follow or interact with. And be social. I’m usually not but it’s because I’m a lurker who doesn’t message anyone first (gotta love that anxiety)

9) kind of a smaller thing to end on but this website does have a kind of calendar. Your Out of Touch Thurdays and the like weekly and some lesser ones like you just missed out of the combo homestuck/Neil banging out the tunes day where the whole site goes wild

I’m sure there’s more that I missed. As I mentioned above I’m more of a lurker on this site doing my own thing but I hope this helps!

12 notes • Posted 2021-04-19 18:05:50 GMT

#2

You know what, fuck you!

*Places a humidifier in your kitchen to make your bananas all peel themselves in your sleep*

12 notes • Posted 2021-04-16 04:58:30 GMT

#1

My contribution to the critical role fandom

49 notes • Posted 2021-11-23 05:36:35 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[the-sheep]

ID GO ABSOLUTELY BONKERS IF U TYPED OUT HIS ENTIRE HISTORY FBFBFBFB i would like 2 see it..........

alright right right

This ended up being A HUGE POST so all info is under the cut.

Unless you’re on mobile, in which case, enjoy scrolling.

It all starts on flight rising. Well, Heart starts on FR. It REALLY starts with my webcomic/animated series.

It wasn’t well drawn or animated at first, but it steadily got better. One of the plot holes, back in 8th grade, was “who created priscilla and Jake?”

It was mostly summed up to “Penny made all the bots its all simple” but i was a middle schooler and i needed a complicated (and edgy) story. 

Thing is I had already made Fandragons of a good chunk of my ocs on flight rising.

I bred two dragons to get my main characters, so why not just use them?

Christy Suggested the name Cavet, and I liked it.

Yeah this is my first digital image of him as a human and he DOES NOT LOOK RIGHT

no necklace, no beard, orange eyes…

horrific.

So I made human designs for them both, but Chrysanthemum remains forgotten, not even canon to Mechanical Fury anymore.

Here’s old art of her and Cavet back before she got wiped out from existence.

the art is bad btu the Heart gimmick is there

Here’s him in his second image ever. The one that pretty much defined his design.He also quickly gained a husband

Anyway he quickly morphed into a villain several time more dangerous than the main villain

He’s responsible for the deaths of not ONE, not TWO, but THREE children.

Two his kids, one the younger sister of a character that one of the dead kids liked.

One of his dead kids got his own story, the other was literally a main character.

Chloride, (Charlie) in all his glory, lucky enough to get resurrected as an android but after finding out he’s not who he thinks he is, has to attempt to live a normal Human life… when his two best friends are paranormal investigators, his love interest having lost their arm and their only remaining sister to the main villain.

He originally found out he was an android by finding his own blueprints, hearing his Mom cry about it, and then cutting open his face (for his signature scar) and running off. 

Running into Cavet’s husband, Nathair Liu. He stitches him up, know all about robotic n all that but he is.

also a secondary villain….

I hate the art in this video but its not my worst.

(Video was Vendy’s debut, too. tho Vendy was more Nate(logan/mind/princi/whatever)’s kid than Cavet’s)

Okay i’ve gotten off track.

Yeah at this point I was really loving Cavet, on FR, and wrote an entire long story between him and Skittles based on the events of Mechanical Fury.

This was where I got the idea for reincarnation.

I needed an explanation for why the same character was in two different universes, and it was perfect. In fact, it lead to an amazing way to end it. 

But what is in control of all this? What does he see in the in between?

Well, Death was packaged with two other red herrings to keep people from thinking she was more important than them from the start, when in fact, she was. One of the plot points is that Cavet dies. He continues causing havoc, but nobody can figure out why or how. he doesn’t have a body.

Except he does. Death.

She was scary, but that was just her, she was a literal robot grim reaper. Nobody suspected she was spreading a virus to make robots susceptible to Augap’s control everywhere she went. Not even her. Cav liked hanging out in the AI scape, AKA the robot afterlife or virtual heaven.

What a fun way to make a real grim reaper.

I never really kept track of the transition from “cute robot char” to “cute real god char”

and i guess it never happened. Heart still thinks of her as she was, as cute little Litty. Except when she’s not. He gave form to the literal concept of DEATH. And became her friend. She still calls him Papa, sometimes.

In any case, Cavet’s doodles started being more and more revolving around his angst with the reincarnation.

in fact, i had a few character in the same boat as him, as I had made a couple dragons into MF characters as well.

I called them The Artifacts. It didn’t seem rounded out with only four, so I added a 5th. To give me more leeway in case I make a character i like enough to bring with them.

and turns out. I did.

I was sad enough about Cavet losing the love of his life, betraying him, creating a rift between them with his descent into obsession.

So he came with them.

They’re inseparable.

after a few lives of getting revenge on him for killing his sons and some adult humans and a BUNCH of robots, (not even counting his crimes in the vampire life he committed because he thought he lost Liu forever) Soul revealed to him something about Heart’s 6th life, which Mind doesn’t remember.

But he was there.

Long story short, he was Captain Shuggazoom. Yeah 10 lives of stuff he forgot before he started remembering his past lives. Messed Heart up.

ANYWAY BACK TO DEVELOPMENT!

I went around, making original characters to fill in Heart’s lives. I put him in a LOT of stories, but a notable one is My Old Ask Blog, @ask-musical-monsters

In which Heart is our lovable Tweedle, Bean.

He’s the bird. (this is also the blog where Willow was made!) (also a character i referenced when putting antauri on the baldi blog)

I still hadn’t abandoned MF so Bean has a lot of influence from Cavet. 

I REALLY liked bean. It occured to me here-ish that Heart isn’t constrained by being my oc. He can be whoever he wants and nobody will care. 

So of course I immediately declare him purple guy. No drawings of him, but I know I said he was purple guy at some point. Also at this point in time I started organizing the lives by number order, and making a simple arc for Heart and the others to follow.

1000 lives. 

I made a brief description of heart’s 1st life, but made it purposefully very superfluous so i can change it whenever i want. All i know is he had albinism, and a desire to live forever.

That summer I got an amazing idea. I would take advantage of the Baldi’s basics trend with a ASK BLOG.

It was a mathematically calculated success. I did as many things as possible to generate more audience. MAIN thing being posting as often as possible, and being REALLY funny. 

But knew I wasn’t going to like adding to the ask blog if i didn’t like the main character

I already knew he was going to be Baldi, but I wasn’t sure exactly how to characterize him either. 

Turns out making him heart solved both of those problems. He’s always been Heart.

And Princi has ALWAYS been mind.

Even if they don’t always show their artifacts, they always were the same people as all these other things ive made. They have a DEEP connection to both each other and me.

At some point, I re-re-discovered SRMTHFG. The first few seconds I saw SK I knew he was Heart. It was so perfect it scared me.

HE EVEN DOES THE POSE!!!!! RED EYES!!!! AAAH!!!

I got an idea for a storyline based on formless and regret and monkeys… so.. uh

Anyway that kinda brings us to today, where the events of the blog have happened based on Heart things, and i can play around with Heart as much as I want.

And Willie’s next life? Well, 23 is my favorite number. It’ll be cool, but I’m not sure how. All I know is 23 wears a striped shirt, and is a vamp again.

In summary, Heart is the most important character I’ve ever made, and I will never come close to anybody as wonderful and as complicated as him. He’s the greatest formless, the best villains, the heroes, and one character i want to hold out for finding irl.

 I love them even in scribbles i find on bus seats, in fanart of him, love her in songs i hear, in flowers i see in the wild.

Whoever they end up being, it’s safe to say I’ve fallen in love with Heart. 

If you want me to describe his in universe story, I’ll need a seperate post.

Other Heart Resources:

The Spreadsheet

The Playlist

[johannas-motivational-insults]

She-Ra season 2 episodes, ranked

All right, I have a lot of feelings about She-Ra season 2 and what was good and not so good. I’ve been doing a lot of shitposting but this is legit analysis/meta, or at least it wants to be.

To be fair, though I’m trying to rank these as objectively as possible, it will be influenced by what I care most about and find most interesting in the series. I stan Catra and the Superpal Trio and think Adora is a loveable mess, and I really can’t stand Swift Wind. So, take this with a grain of salt. Needless to say, SPOILERS AHEAD.

7. 2x03 “Signals”

I would rank this episode higher, except the A plot was so meh. It felt like it should have been a Halloween special, and if it was I’d give it a pass, but I found it so thoroughly disinteresting I all but tuned out. Of course, people who stan the Best Friend Squad might have still loved it, but their dynamic isn’t as interesting for me anymore because we’ve seen so much of it, and this episode didn’t do much to change it other than add Swift Wind in (and he really, really annoys me). The only real thing it did to move the plot forward was introduce the subplot about the mysterious transmissions, and it didn’t do anything characterization wise. Ultimately, it’s a set up episode, and to be fair it might be more interesting in retrospect once we get some payoff and see where that whole thing is going. But I dunno, I kinda doubt it.

It’s mostly a set up episode in the other subplots too, but I enjoyed watching the political machinations in the Horde because there were real, tangible stakes and important power shifts. Catra learning that having power and authority is not all it’s cracked up to be was a crucial bit of character development. That bit of her getting the air sucked out of her lungs was more genuinely scary than the creepy ghost holograms by far. You felt her desperation trying to save face with Hordak and regain her sense of power and safety after that terrifying threat, and watching Shadow Weaver tune in to and play with her insecurities was a good bit of development for and insight into their relationship. It also foreshadows how easily Shadow Weaver is able to manipulate Catra later in the season.

Meanwhile, Entrapta’s excursions and work with Hordak supplied some comic relief (which I think the A plot also tried and failed to do) and also made the Horde plot take an interesting turn. This is the episode where Catra really starts to lose power, and meanwhile Entrapta gains a lot without even meaning to. She just wanted to fix the problem with Hordak’s experiment, dear girl. On that note, I did not expect to enjoy watching Hordak and Entrapta so much, but one thing this show does really well is throw together unexpected combinations of characters and make an amazing dynamic (e.g. the Superpal Trio, Scorpia and Seahawk, Catra and Glimmer and Bow).

The Entrapta subplot was the most interesting of the episode and unfortunately it was relegated to the C plot. This episode would have been way better if they’d put more focus on the Horde side of things and/or given the “Best Friend Quad” something with more substance.

6. 2x01 “The Frozen Forest”

This episode was fine, but it didn’t do much to stand out. It was important, of course, to follow up on the end of season 1, and if they had skipped this episode entirely it would have left a huge gap. But with the two main groups of characters not interacting at all in person, there was little reason to be emotionally invested in the fight scenes. We don’t really care if Horde bots get destroyed. It would have been more interesting to see the Superpal Trio directly fighting the Princess Alliance, but on the other hand it did set up just how big a role Entrapta’s tech knowledge was going to play this season. The stuff with the princess alliance was cute, I always enjoy seeing more of Mermista, and they did some character work (which I can always appreciate) with Glimmer and Frosta. But since we only see the princesses once more this season, it hasn’t had much of a chance to pay off yet.

The highlight of this episode was Adora fighting Catra in the simulation and her ensuing conversation with Light Hope. (“There. There.” and “I also have buttons” were two of my favorite one-liners of the season.) The simulated fight was very cute, and I definitely screamed when Catra grabbed Adora’s hand while delivering her customary “Hey Adora,” right before taking her down. And look, the fact that Catra was flirting so hard with Adora in that simulation means that an AI with very poor social awareness has picked up on their sexual/romantic tension, and that’s hilarious.

The Horde side of things gave us more time with the Superpal Trio, who are always delightful, but not a ton happened over there either. This episode established that Entrapta has fully moved in to the Fright Zone and Catra is comfortably leading the Horde’s advances and has respect from Hordak and the Horde’s soldiers. It also foreshadows how impressed Hordak is going to become with Entrapta’s work (and unimpressed with Catra’s) when her EKS bots steal the show in that meeting. Finally, the episode introduced the shifted dynamic between Catra and Shadow Weaver now that the power position has flipped. That ongoing subplot was possibly the saddest part of the season, and this one scene did a good job of setting that up.

Overall, this was a good and necessary setup episode, but because it had all that exposition and setup to do we didn’t get a ton of good character/relationship moments (Frosta/Glimmer and Catra/Shadow Weaver being the notable exceptions). So yeah, it was fine. But there were definitely stronger episodes, which we will now get into...

5. 2x04 “Roll With It”

This was a very cute episode, a fun one to watch. The reason I ranked it fifth is because there are three very strong episodes this season and 2x07 had higher stakes, being the season (mid-season, lbr) finale. On the Horde side of things, I loved seeing more of Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio. Lonnie really shined this episode and I keep waiting for someone to realize how smart and capable she is and promote her. And of course, Scorpia. Darling oblivious Scorpia who just wants to impress her crush. She’s not very smart but she’s earnest af and can pack a punch, and this is the first episode where she really stands out.

The planning session in the rebellion camp was really fun to watch, though I’m sure I missed a ton of jokes because I’ve never played D&D. The chaotic way the princesses all play off each other was more evident here than in 2x01, which made for some great gags. The different approaches they each take and the different aninmation styles used to portray them were a lot of fun. Glimmer’s noir hero fantasies were my favorite, personally. (And apparently she sees Catra as a very sexy villain? I need more on this, please.)

Adora’s monologue about the worst possible secenario revealed all her insecurities, and it was one of the highlights of the season. Her anxiety issues and messiah complex have been touched on before many times, but this is the first time they’ve really come bubbling to the surface this season. It was really nice to see the whole group reassure her that she isn’t in this alone, much like Bow and Glimmer did before the Battle of Bright Moon. And while it’s been hinted at before, this episode really solidified her obsession with Catra. And Scorpia’s too, as I mentioned above.

It’s easy to forget that Catra wasn’t actually in this episode (AJ Michalka was, but her character was not, not for real) because you felt her presence everywhere. The bit with all the princesses’ different renditions of her was hilarious. But you know, it was nice to see the show put together such a strong episode without Catra. Having the emotional focus on Adora again was a nice change of pace.

4. 2x07 “Reunion”

This episode gave us what 2x03 lacked: it made the Best Friend Squad interesting again. That group is most compelling to watch when there’s conflict among them, like in the stretches of 1x01-1x02 and 1x08-1x10. They weren’t in an actual fight this time, but Glimmer and Adora being so thrown by Bow’s secret family life meant that things didn’t feel “as usual.” Glimmer’s insecurity about not meaning that much to Bow resurfaced, and Bow’s “coming out” scene was extremely moving. But thankfully there was comic relief, too. Adora mispronouncing words to try and sound scholarly was a great ongoing gag, and the eventual fight between the Best Friend Squad and the elemental was really fun because it was so chaotic with Bow’s dads being extremely confused.

Okay and look, Bow’s dads. Finally we get to see why Bow is the most well-adjusted person in the group. His parents aren’t perfect, but they did way less to fill their kids with insecurities than Angella or Shadow Weaver. Angella’s not a bad mom but it’s easy to see why Glimmer feels so inadequate. And Shadow Weaver is, well, Shadow Weaver.

This episode was sort of oddly structured for what is essentially a mid-season finale in the sense that the A plot was about relationships more than the overarching plot, but that’s not necessarily bad. And they tied the plot back in at the end with the reveal about the Crimson Waste, setting us up to finally move forward in this transmissions subplot in season 3.

There wasn’t a lot of time for Horde stuff this episode, but Scorpia forcibly loving Catra and turning her into a burrito was one of my favorite scenes of the season (maybe I will do a Top 10 later on). Catra opening up to Scorpia about her problems for the second episode in a row was huge, especially after experiencing a heart-shattering betrayal in the previous episode. Catra’s final scene where she gets exposed as a liar and choked out felt a bit truncated to me... like after they set that up as this terrifying threat in 2x03, they lingered a lot less in the terror of that moment in this episode. So that was kind of disappointing, but it still worked well as half of the cliffhanger (the weaker half, imo, but it was still extremely nerve-wracking).

It was hard to pick between #4 and 5 on this list, but ultimately the amazing cliffhanger was what put this one over the top. Both our protagonists are in danger, at the mercy of our two worst villains, and even though I knew what was coming as soon as I saw Adora sleeping, the shot of Shadow Weaver standing over her bed made me scream. I hate this show for leaving me hanging here, so they did it right.

3. 2x02 “Ties That Bind”

Ranking this one so high may be an unpopular opinion, but I personally loved this episode. I didn’t care much for the B plot except it was good insight into Adora, but the A plot was so delightful it made up for it. Mixing members of the Superpal Trio and Best Friend Squad almost always results in something good... maybe not for the characters, but for the audience. Watching Catra and Glimmer play off each other’s insecurites was great, and it was sweet watching Bow attempting to befriend Catra, just like he did with Adora. The conflict between him and Glimmer about how to treat their hostage felt very in-character, a good callback to the beginning of season 1.

Of course, Catra is a much more annoying hostage than Adora was. Her being a little shit and doing everything she could to get on their nerves was amazing, and I would have gladly watched a full hour episode just of that. The sassiness and manipulation we see from her in this episode balances nicely with the deep emotional stuff she goes through this season in her fight to win approval and prove her worth. It also produced my favorite joke of the season: “How are you such a nightmare?!?”/”Eh, years of practice.” I felt that in my soul as a youngest child. I also loved all the cat mannerisms they incorporated in this episode, it was very cute.

There is a bit of emotional meat to that story, with Catra and Glimmer’s confrontation at the end after Glimmer says Adora ran away from Catra, not the Horde (rude, btw). But the real emotional moment comes when Bow and Glimmer find out Entrapta stayed willingly with the Horde. That was heart-breaking. Heart-shattering, even. Especially because Bow and Glimmer feel such guilt for her being left there in the first place. I wish there had been more follow-up on this major emotional beat, but that’s not a weakness of this episode itself. This was my favorite Entrapta scene of the season, even though there were a lot of other great ones.

Like I said, the B plot was... okay, but not amazing? The bits with Light Hope glitching were funny, if a bit creepy. (But she’s always creepy, so.) Swift Wind annoys the hell out of me when he’s being hyper, but seeing his eventual heart-to-heart with Adora gave him some good depth and development. Plus, this episode does a really good job of illustrating not only how uptight Adora is, but why. There’s that messiah complex again (which I don’t blame her for btw, that’s Shadow Weaver’s fault). I like episodes that focus on Adora emotionally, and separating her from Glimmer and Bow meant her storyline got to be a bit more serious and in-depth. I just wish it hadn’t been opposite Swift Wind... not because it wasn’t effective, but because Adora’s arc was good but I have little desire to rewatch it if it means I have to watch more of him. Sorry, I guess I’m an anti.

2. 2x05 “White Out”

As I’ve said before, this episode is the highlight of season 2. Once again, that has a lot to do with the dynamics that occur whenever we mix members of the Best Friend Squad and Superpal Trio, and this time we got all of them in one place! And they added Seahawk to the mix too, which I didn’t expect to like because he tends to get on my nerves, but pairing him with Scorpia was a move of pure brilliance.

Scorpia and Sea Hawk’s little heart-to-heart about feeling unappreciated and Drunk Adora validating and encouraging them was so so cute and heartwarming. All the Drunk Adora and Scorpia stuff was great, actually. It was funny but also made very textual how much Catradora is an insecurity for Scorpia and how she’s afraid she’ll never be able to live up to that and Catra will never open up to her the same way. And Adora actually seems to genuinely like Scorpia when she’s not focused on the evils of the Horde, so that’s good to know moving forward. And yeah, that pairing also brought us “Girls night in!” and the closet joke, another highlight of the season.

In the other mixed grouping, Catra and Glimmer renewed their rivalry, and that’s always fun to watch. Entrapta continued to be her usual chaotic self, and any time we see her interacting with Bow it tends to be a great scene. The reveal at the end that she had the tech all along but didn’t tell Catra because she liked hanging out in this remote place with her friends was really, really cute.

I would be amiss to not mention the Catradora of it all in this episode, because holy shit this is actually the only time they interact in person all season. That is just wrong, by the way, but I did thoroughly enjoy what we got. It’s very clear they still have an emotional hold over each other despite their attempts to “let go,” between Adora’s overly-focused anger and Catra’s expressions whenever she hears or sees Adora. Adora actually kind of hates Catra right now and I think that caught Catra off guard. Catra’s panic when Evil She-Ra almost killed her was a great moment of vulnerability, how she tried to appeal to the Adora inside. She dropped the act for a moment and genuinely tried to connect with Adora, and maybe it made me tear up a little.

Along those same lines, the one thing that pissed me off about this episode was that we didn’t get to see Catra interacting with Drunk Adora. That would have allowed Adora to interact with Catra in a vulnerable state too, and in general it just would have been amazing. And the trailer kinda suggested we would get to see that, so that made it extra disappointing. Can’t these two just talk about their feelings and actually hear each other and communicate properly, please? Ugh. Still, despite these frustrations, I loved the Catradora content.

But the real highlight of the episode was Scorptra. The scene where Scorpia tried to ask Catra out on a date was amazing and so freaking cute. Of course there’s also the stuff I mentioned where her insecurities about Adora came spilling out. And the look on Catra’s face when Scorpia aborted a mission to save her life and then whisked her away despite her protests... that was a huge moment. She doesn’t think of herself as worth saving, but someone else does. And despite the fact that Scorpia disobeyed direct orders, I think this is where Catra really comes to trust her. It’s certainly where she comes to respect her. And then they shared a blanket! God, this was so cute. I expected to enjoy the Catradora stuff more but a) there wasn’t all that much of it and b) this was so incredibly pure and sweet, watching Scorpia finally make some headway and Catra finally open up to someone again, even if it was only a little bit. I am a multi-shipper now, I can’t help it.

1. 2x06 “Light Spinner”

It was hard choosing between this and White Out for top spot, but I’m a slut for villain backstories. This episode was the less entertaining of the two, and I think I’d have to say White Out is my subjective favorite, but objectively I do think this is the better episode. Why? Character development.

Shadow Weaver was a bit too twirly-moustache of a villain at times in season 1, so seeing how she became what she is now did a lot for her character. Seeing how a desire to do good mixing with a thirst for power can drive someone to make mistakes and turn evil was very interesting, and having Micah be part of the backstory made it all the more compelling.

The ways Shadow Weaver tries to mold people with more intrinsic power than her so she can use that power was a crucial new insight, one we’ve never seen before. It explains why she’s so obessed with Adora, which was never really explained in season 1. And it also suggests that part of Shadow Weaver’s dislike for Catra came from Adora’s connection to and therefore influence over her. Shadow Weaver wanted Adora’s loyalty to be to her above all, even above the Horde, and Adora having a close friend (who’s a rebellious loose cannon, to boot) was a danger to that goal.

This episode is essentially about Shadow Weaver and Catra, both separately and together, and it does a great job of drawing parallels between them even before Shadow Weaver outright tells Catra that they are the same. They both go off on a rant about how no matter what they do, no one listens to or respects them. Shadow Weaver seems to have a bit of a self-loathing streak that she took out on Catra, too... kinda like Glimmer being annoyed by all her worst qualities manifesting in Frosta.

As for Catra, it shocked me that she was so upset about Shadow Weaver being sent away to die. Though she obviously still craved Shadow Weaver’s approval, I didn’t expect her to react so badly to this. Clearly Scorpia didn’t either, and her trying to tease Catra’s reasons out of her was sweet. It was nice to see Catra continuing to open up to Scorpia after that moment with the blanket at the end of White Out, but there’s still a lot she’s holding inside. She still genuinely cares about Shadow Weaver despite how she’s been trying to hurt her for revenge and her own satisfaction... that sound familiar?

And unfortunately, Catra’s connection to Shadow Weaver and her need for maternal love and approval was her downfall. After she mocked the rebellion for their bleeding hearts and how easily manipulated they are, mind you. This is where Catra’s tendency to sympathize with Shadow Weaver (which we saw at least twice in season 1) finally came back to bite her in the ass. It was terribly sad because Catra actually has a big heart and Shadow Weaver knew that and took advantage of it.

It’s hard to say how much Shadow Weaver meant of what she said to Catra when they had their big confrontation. It wasn’t clear whether or not she had seen her badge hidden in the food, whether she was only trying to manipulate Catra or if she was being earnest about any of it. Was the physical affection she gave her genuine, her way of making up for things and saying goodbye, or was she just fucking with Catra? I dunno, but either way this betrayal she pulled was awful, and if she was trying to be nice she would’ve been better off holding Catra at a distance than letting her get her hopes up. For real, Catra’s reaction when she realized Shadow Weaver had used and betrayed her was gut-wrenching, one of the rawest moments we’ve seen from her. I might have cried, a lot. She let herself be vulnerable in a way she rarely does, and for that she got absolutely obliterated emotionally. Again.

So yeah, this wasn’t a particularly fun episode, but it was a very strong episode of television and it did a lot to make Shadow Weaver more fleshed out and interesting. It finally brought one of the show’s most fraught relationships into the spotlight and let it combust in front of us, and as painful as it was to watch, I can’t help rewatching the Catra and Shadow Weaver scenes again and again. I never expected Catra to so openly ask Shadow Weaver why she was never good enough for her and what she did to deserve all the abuse. It was an incredibly rewarding scene to watch with great emotional payoff. And for a stan like me, that made it the best episode of the season.

[verdigrisprowl]

May 13 Dancitron Movie Night - Earth Vs The Spider and The Blob

Prowl was torn on whether he should root for Earth or the spider. But he was rooting against the blob.

Surprisingly, Primus was the most poorly-behaved guest tonight. Not that it’s a surprise he caused mayhem; just a surprise that a Dinobot didn’t cause more. The Dinobots, however, were unusually tiny tonight.

After the movie, Soundwave and Prowl took turns impressing each other with space bridge tricks.

Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 7:43 PM Who doesn't love a good cheesy monster movie? Well, your mileage may vary, but the twins sure are looking forward to tonight. (Mostly Rumble. Frenzy prefers gory, scary messes to the ones being shown tonight, but watching them with Rumble and yelling at the screen will make them tolerable enough for him to sit through.) Soundwave's also perched on his couch, curious about these old human takes on horror. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 7:45 PM The Autobots really should know better than to leave Teletraan unguarded. It's so close to the Dinocave. That's just inviting disaster.

Ah well! Their loss, Swoop's gain. The even scrawnier than normal ptero-baby bounced around the keyboard, making numerous failed attempts to call anyone and several calls to random bots. Eventually, after a particularly effective full-body roll across the keyboard, Swoop manages to call Soundwave.

Look at this tiny genius go. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 7:46 PM ...What in Primus' name. [[Swoop?]] Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 7:47 PM Smokescreen's quick to bridge in, with a large tin of quartz coated energon goodies! After putting it next to the other snacks, Smokescreen's flopping onto the nearest couch, waving at Soundwave. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 7:47 PM Sludge is, naturally, horribly impressed by this magic Swoop has achieved. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 7:47 PM Swoop squeaks and dances across the keys to celebrate this call. Can you feel their (petite) joy, Soundwave? Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 7:48 PM [[Evening, Smokescreen. Thank you for contributing to the snack bar.]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 7:48 PM Windchill seems to have decided to make an appearance this evening. Either Rebel, also in tow, was grounded for a looooong time or someone wasn't feeling social. Maybe both. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 7:48 PM Prowl Has Arrived. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 7:50 PM Soundwave can absolutely feel that. What in blazes happened to the Dinobots? He's -- greeting ping for Prowl -- staring at the inside of his visor with his head visibly tilted to one side. [[Ran into a shrink ray?]] Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 7:50 PM "Anytime! I've been working on cooking stuff again- I guess you can't try 'em, though, can you? I gotta learn how to make drinks so I can get you something!" Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 7:51 PM And a wave to Windchill from the twins, even though it almost makes them drop a handful of the goodies they're loading up on. [[...Why do you think he can't try them?]] Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 7:52 PM Swoop's laughter somehow manages to be even higher and squeaker than usual. It's a good thing you have such a wide range of audio equipment, because he is aiming QUITE high right now.

::Play!:: he finally squeals, roll roll rolling across the keys and accidentally sending the resulting message to Soundwave. SpecsToday at 7:52 PM In comes the dragon, with snacks aplenty! "Hello, Soundwave, everyone!" Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 7:52 PM Sludge joins in, stomping buttons. Can't let Swoop have all the fun. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 7:53 PM He waves back, having to be mindful of his extremities and walk very slowly towards the seating due to his orbiting truck spawn who's pretending to be the multiverse's least aerodynamic airplane around his feet. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 7:54 PM "Wait, you can eat 'em? I figured you couldn't intake 'em or just didn't like the stuff, 'cause you've refused 'em once or twice before." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 7:54 PM They're going to destroy that datapad before they ever make it here. If they make it here. He's not entirely sure their creators will think it a wise idea to let very tiny Dinobots get out of their sight.

[[That is because he has heard you are terrible at fuel preparation. Unlike the dragon. Greetings, dragon.]] Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 7:55 PM Guess who finally decided to show up for once and brought a present~! Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 7:55 PM ((10 minutes til start. get what y'all need, get settled, all that)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 7:55 PM (( Do I want a cookie? )) Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 7:55 PM "W. What? I think I'm pretty good at preparing fuel! Who told you I suck? I gotta have 'em try some of my energon croquettes sometime." SpecsToday at 7:55 PM The dragon churrs proudly as she helps put away the goodies she's made. The way to her heart is through complementing her cooking. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 7:56 PM Joke's on Wheeljack. Swoop and Sludge have already escaped and destroyed Perceptor's lab. It's time for something new!

Swoop taps the enter key repeatedly with his teeny tiny foot, as if this will suddenly get him the result he wants. ::Play?:: Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 7:56 PM Smokescreen's getting up immediately and grabbing one of the goodies made by Specs, as well as one of his own, trying to compare. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 7:57 PM Don't mind Blaster. He's following a certain trouble-maker into the room. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 7:57 PM ((always eat cookies)) Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 7:57 PM A grinning Primus was both good and horrible. One carrying a box, well, it still could go either way. Hi Blaster. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 7:58 PM (( I ate the cookie. I'm back. )) Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 7:58 PM Squints at. He recognizes that look from a certain avatar. SpecsToday at 7:58 PM Which one did he take? The energon gummis with silver flakes? The mercury-silver drops? The energon cookies with just a touch of mercury on the inside so that they're delicious and gooey? Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 7:59 PM He's just gonna sit on the floor, it's easier for him to watch his feet (perhaps in a literal sense,) that way. SpecsToday at 7:59 PM Did the dragon learn that mercury and silver seemed to be favored and stuck with what worked? Maybe a little. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 7:59 PM Soundwave taps for Prowl to come get comfortable and bobs his helm at Primus. [[Good evening. You honor him with your presence.]] SpecsToday at 7:59 PM Smokescreen could also, in theory, have taken some tinsel fish, but if Ravage is present that might be a poor idea. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 7:59 PM Ugh. If he brings Swoop over here for a few hours, will he and Sludge stop pressing Enter? The pinging is rattling his brains a bit. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:00 PM Probably. Most likely, if only because they will no longer have access to the Enter button. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:00 PM Can't press enter if you're on another planet. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:00 PM He does indeed get comfortable. Slight lean. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:00 PM "Evening, Soundwave. I brought a little something for a snack." The diety gave Prowl a short nod on his approach. SpecsToday at 8:01 PM ((puff, I know that I can't talk, but your icon is fucking me up)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:01 PM Thank goodness. In they come, though he's dropping them on Blaster. A little distraction for the night, given the kind of movie they're going to watch. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:01 PM Can Rebel try one of everything? Can anyone stop her? She's aeroplaning to the snack bar and back. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:01 PM Nope. Following. He has a bad feeling about this. What are you up to, Primus? Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:01 PM (( OuO )) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:01 PM Swoop squeeeeals all the way through the space bridge and onto Blaster, rolling through the air and landing with a squeak. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:01 PM Rebel can try as many of everything as she wants. Soundwave's too busy leaning up against Prowl and watching Primus' hands to notice, honestly. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:02 PM What? Him? Innocent as the Cheshire Cat. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:02 PM Sludge heard the word snack, and the moment he's dropped on Blaster he wriggles off and starts for the snack table. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:02 PM He only took a couple gummis, but his doorwings do seem to droop. These were better, weren't they? "Well- Soundwave, can you take a bite from one of my quartz cookies and say if they're okay?" SpecsToday at 8:02 PM Rebel can have as many goodies as Windchill and the other guests will permit. The dragon makes these in bulk- a pretty nifty achievement, for a fox-sized organic! She's slowly amassed quite a bit of technology to help. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:02 PM And is promptly stopped by Dinobabies. "WHAT THE HELL! SOUNDWAVE!" Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:02 PM At least he thinks it's the snack table. Kind of hard to tell when he's only two feet tall and can't see the top of the table. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:02 PM ((the baby dinos are BITTY. Like few month old puppy sized.)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:02 PM Prowl starts when the Dinobots tumble in. "Oh, hell." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:03 PM ((they are DOTS compared to a lot of y'all lol)) Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:03 PM [Ittle bittles] Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:03 PM Going to try and catch Swoop before he can fall to the floor. "Seriously?" SpecsToday at 8:03 PM The dragon blinks. "I guess I no longer am the smallest one here." Hey, at least she's more on their scale. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:03 PM [[He already has two terrors to watch.]] Soundwave points at the twins. [[Consider it a minor favor.]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:03 PM Rebel hollers at the sudden dropping of dinobombs into the room, fists already brimming with at least one of every possible snack. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:03 PM Swoop makes zero attempt to catch himself or fly, just laughing as Blaster catches him upside down. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:04 PM Rebel's smaller than the table, so Sludge turns to her in hopes of getting a snack instead. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:04 PM [[Bring him a cookie and he'll see.]] Not gonna lie, though. Teeny tiny mechs? Protect urge is hitting. That's basically the reason he's trying to push them off on someone else. If he takes them under his wing they may never go back to the Ark. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:04 PM Okay, good, one down, two trouble-makers left. Yes, you count, Primus. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:04 PM She stares at him, not at all sure what to make of this thing, this creature, at her feet.

"Whatchu want?" Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:05 PM "Snack." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:05 PM ((I'm just imagining Prowl's forever sigh at both Tara and Soundwave wanting to hold the dinobbies)) Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:05 PM //lmao Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:05 PM (( : ) )) Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:05 PM While Blaster is promptly distracted - shhhhh- Primus handed over the fairly light box. There was s faint clicking of some sort of treat inside. "Sorry I've been somewhat missing." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:05 PM And now glancing at Prowl. [[They're a fraction of their size. It's hardly full hell. A minor headache at best. ... He hopes.]] Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:06 PM Swoop goes completely limp - with the exception of his birdy head which swivels around to watch his audience - giggling as he tries to melt through Blaster's fingers. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:06 PM "Hmm." Rebel narrows her optics, but relents. "Okay. I got one of everything." Would that be enough? Probably not. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:06 PM "You of all people should know that frame size doesn't correlate with quantity of hell contained." Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:06 PM Sludge nods sagely. Well, as sagely as a baby can nod. "Snacks." Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:06 PM And Blaster is attempting to hold onto a dino that is tiny and now apparently liquid. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:06 PM Babies. BABIES. Smokescreen's squinting at the babies. How can they be so tiny? Smokescreen's picking up a couple cookies, walking over to Soundwave's side opposite of Prowl, offering them, "You got it, Soundwave! By the way, did you start working with more deployers or something?" Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:07 PM He holds out a hand demonstratively at the FINGER MELTING ATTEMPT. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:07 PM He has no boooooones, Blaster. He is meeeeeeeeeeeeellllttting! Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:07 PM And there's that tell-tale doomsday giggling. Windchill's ears flick. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:07 PM "Okay, okay, stop, we're going to get snacks." SpecsToday at 8:07 PM Even the dragon kind of wants to cuddle with them, honestly. They're a little big for hatchlings, but they're so tiny and precious. They need protection. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:07 PM A long, long vent. [[Yes, he knows. He knows. But a mech has to be able to dream.]] He shakes his head no at Smokescreen and pops the box open, curious. What's in this thing, then? Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:08 PM Grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:08 PM ((... I think I might have misread that as "setting blaster's fingers on fire to melt through them" rather than "becoming a liquid state dinobird." to be fair, it's ambiguous)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:08 PM //Huh, gettin' off to a good start, this one.// Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:08 PM "These here hands aren't big enough for the two of us," Rebel drawls. She'll have to improvise. "You can have these." She piles the already collected assortment at her feet. It won't hurt her to start over. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:08 PM ((LOL a legitimate risk with Swoop)) Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:08 PM //tbf i did too until i went back and reread it twice lmao Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:08 PM ((but no, so far, no baby fire)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:09 PM ((OH for the record: the blob does not have captions, i looked everywhere. but the first movie does)) Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:09 PM ((sorry about that Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:09 PM "Thank." Look, he knows how to be Polite! Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:09 PM Honestly, given Blaster's reaction, a little help from the tiniest of dragons is probably a good idea. SpecsToday at 8:10 PM "Very excellent, little one!" The dragon gives Sludge an extra gummi. "Another snack for good manners."

Yeah, alright, she can assist. Off she goes, to hover near Blaster and help administer snacks. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:10 PM Hm. Hard to tell what these wiggly looking blobs in the box are. Looks like an oddly colored energon gummi. He'll just pick one up and--

[[BANANAS]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:10 PM Prowl nods at the movie. "So that I know which tragedy to brace myself for: who's going to win, Earth or the spider?" Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:10 PM That box is sailing through the air and being shot. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:10 PM "Welcome." Rebel loads up again, and carefully steps over the dinobot and his offerings. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:10 PM Oh, he likes that. Being polite gets him snacks! "Thank." More snacks if he's polite? Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:10 PM Oh good. Swoop's too tiny to...bananas? Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:11 PM Soundwave waits until burned bits of candy banana finish drifting to the floor, unable to harm anyone any longer, to hiss at Primus. [[He is NOT amused.]] Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:11 PM Ever seen a God rolling on the floor laughing? Now you have. As tiny candy banana pieces go everywhere. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:11 PM Dives across the couch. He's half leaning over the armrest as he gives Soundwave a shocked look. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:11 PM Swoop feel suddenly ignored for no real reason. Time to start chirping a chirp best translated as maaam! Mam! Mama! Mommy! Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:11 PM Sludge's head snaps up when someone shoots, and without thinking, unleashes a burst of fire at the already burnt remains of bananas. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:11 PM "They aren't? They're so tiny, though, almost Frenzy-sized." Smokescreen's pointing at Swoop with his cookie-holding hand, holding a cookie out in his general direction. SpecsToday at 8:12 PM Well. She was going to fly over to Blaster. The sudden shots and flying box makes her dive to the floor instead. She is the poofiest thing in the room, right now. A veritable tribble. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:12 PM Manners are largely wasted on Rebel, sorry bub. You can try asking for more, though. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:12 PM ((the baby dinos are smaller than that. They're like .... two feet.)) Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:12 PM ((phffff smokescreen's just being rude)) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:12 PM ((ok good XD)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:12 PM Soundwave resets his vocalizer. [[...His apologies. Someone stop Sludge from burning the floor, please. Prowl, it is safe to come back up.]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:12 PM (( They're snack sized. )) Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:12 PM Well shit, he's shielding Swoop with one servo, and scowling in the general direction of the mess. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:13 PM Still laughing from the floor. "I regret nothing." Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:13 PM "... I ought to bridge you BOTH out of here." Referring to Soundwave and the two-foot-long flamethrower. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:13 PM Windchill sighs, and hooks a finger at Rebel, who interprets it as 'do what Soundwave says' and makes an attempt to pick up Sludge for relocation. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:14 PM [I'm not allowed in candy stores. :D ] Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:14 PM Is it rude to bridge robot god out? It's probably rude. ... He's doing it anyway. Primus can come back if he likes, but he's showing his displeasure here.

[[Don't bridge him. It was an automatic reaction. He's-- he doesn't like them. Bananas.]] [[...Oh, and Earth is fine.]] Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:14 PM ((too be fair, I didn't help matters)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:14 PM "Live fire in a crowded room." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:14 PM Swoop continues his needy chirping, leaning this way and that as he tries to escape. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:14 PM Sludge blinks at Prowl, even as Rebel tries to move him from his snacks. What'd he do? Soundwave shot things, he was helping. SpecsToday at 8:15 PM The dragon slowly deflates through the power of sad baby chirps. Alright, alright, here she comes, Swoop. She's got an energon gummi to give you. Open wide, here comes the train... Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:15 PM ((Whoops! Forgot to fix my name)) Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:15 PM Okay, okay, back towards the snacks....that are as big as Swoop. And stops so the dragon doesn't have to try and catch up. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:15 PM [[He's an accurate shot and it was a low-level blast. Besides, he didn't want to give them a chance to prove themselves capable of... doing whatever it is they do.]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:15 PM "Get along, little dino, get alooooong," Oh well, if she gets burned for picking him and his remaining snacks up, dad will deal with it. Right? Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:16 PM When the gummy gets close enough to Swoop for him to notice it, he lets out a squeak and full body squirm before opening his beak wide for maximum baby birding. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:16 PM [[But he supposes it's rude of a host not to follow his own rules. Even if there were suspicious items in play.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:16 PM See this face, Soundwave? :| This is Prowl's reaction. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:16 PM Oh, right. Snacks. He goes limp, trying to get back to those before someone else steals them. A distinct possibility with his brother in the room. SpecsToday at 8:17 PM Thank you, Blaster. She can pre-shred the gummi she's currently got, to make it easier on Swoop. She'll just need... to work at it. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:17 PM If pre-shred means mama birding it into his tiny face, Swoop is 1000% down for this. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:17 PM (( I'm screaming. )) Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:17 PM "Wait, is her dad a spider?" Smokescreen's finally paying attention to the movie, after watching the bitty bitty dinos. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:18 PM [[No, her father is the driver that was attacked on the road.]] Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:18 PM "... Was that driver a spider?" Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:18 PM ((someone is going to puke up food for swoop before this m!a is over mark my words)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:18 PM (( I'll make sure if nothing else. )) Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:18 PM "Spiderbot?" Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:18 PM Soundwave ducks his head a bit. [[All right. You are disappointed, and for good reason. He will try to suppress the reaction next time.]] [[The driver was not a spider.]] Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:19 PM Once the amusement wears off, Primus gets up like a good diety and comes back inside. Cleans up the remnants with a wave of his servo. It was his fault, so he'd at least take responsibility for the smoldering remains. The burning bits of ash swirled about to come together to reform, changed from the atoms of course, into a nice pillow for someone to sit on or smack him with. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:19 PM //Can't see, huh. Looks pretty bright in there for a cave.// Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:19 PM If his hands weren't full he'd take Primus up on smacking him with it. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:19 PM "Bridging is a far better snap reaction to get into the habit of." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:19 PM Swoop's focus is immediately shattered by his brother's question. He gasps, "spIDER!!!??" SpecsToday at 8:19 PM The dragon is an ORGANIC, Swoop, she's not doing that. She's using her paws like a civilized being. She'd die if she ate energon. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:20 PM "Spiderbot! That's not's someone in this movie, but I know a really cool bot named Spiderbot." Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:20 PM Now Primus gets the :| look, since this was his fault. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:20 PM "Him Spiderbot say momther." Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:20 PM All of this is distracting Rebel from getting her own snacks! Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:20 PM "... Wait, you know Messy? Is- Is Messy your moms?" Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:20 PM Would Prowl like to smack him with the pillow for causing this? Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:21 PM Prowl's above petty violence. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:21 PM "Him Spiderbot momther, not messy." Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:21 PM "... I'm almost COMPLETELY positive that tarantulas do not make that sound." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:21 PM Swoop is so excited for Tarantulas to come play that he's not holding still for food. He's all squeaks and chirps and enthusiasm. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:21 PM "Oh, okay! So, is Momther your mom?" Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:21 PM Would Prowl like Rumble to smack Primus with the pilow for causing this? Rumble is not above petty violence. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:22 PM Be fine with him! Blaster can't. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:22 PM \MAYBE IT'S MIMICKIN' THE VICTIMS.\ Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:22 PM He would neither encourage nor endorse it, but he would not be upset to see it happening. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:22 PM Gently places one servo on Swoop, just enough to hold him still. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:22 PM \LIKE THAT PLANT IN THE JUNGLE BUILDIN'.\ Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:22 PM Rebel gives up, grabs her own snacks, then sidles over to investigate the tiny Swoop. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:22 PM "Him Spiderbot is momther." A Look. How dense are you, Smokey? Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:23 PM "I'm pretty sure they don't do that, either. ... And spiders ALSO aren't insect life." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:23 PM In that case, Rumble is more than willing to defend his Boss. He also doesn't have any oath he has to worry about. So he hefts the pillow, tosses it up twice, and then FLINGS it at Primus about as hard as you expect someone with piledriver arms to do. //That's for gettin' the Boss in trouble with the police.// SpecsToday at 8:24 PM The dragon looks up from peeling off coils of gummi to cheer on Rumble. "Great shot!"

Hey, she comes from a species that killed their god. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:24 PM "Ohhh- okay, so Spiderbot is your momther? And your mom? That's good! Any kid of Messy- Spiderbot is probably a really good kid. I'll have to tell Messy happy mother's day later. You wanna try one of these cookies?" Smokescreen's snapping a quartz cookie in half. And in half again. And again. Maybe this will be small enough for them? Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:24 PM HUFFS. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:24 PM //Thanks. Heh.// He'll bow all fancy like. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:24 PM Sludge is eying that cookie piece hungrily. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:24 PM Swoop reflexively gives Blaster a nip when that servo presses on him but he's in such a good mood that he is more interested in wiggles and Friendship than getting in an actual wrestling match. He sticks out his bitty tiny foot to point at Rebel and laughs. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:25 PM //how many people can sludge con into feeding him snacks tonight Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:25 PM Smokescreen's tossing one cookie piece towards Sludge! Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:25 PM [[It's an old human movie. Perhaps they hadn't talked to many spiders back then?]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:25 PM Rebel shoves one of those cookies in her mouth, chewing on it lazily.

"What're you laughin' for?" Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:25 PM Snap! Right out of the air and down his gullet it goes. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:25 PM Smokescreen owes him a (probably awful) cookie too, still. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:25 PM Well. It was a pillow, but that was Rumble. A real good thing he was a God or that may have laid him out. "I think you managed to dent my helm. I'm impressed." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:25 PM ((Sludge ends up living up to his name and getting so stuffed he is too round to walk home)) Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:26 PM //tbh //gets home on a sugar high Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:26 PM No reaction to the nip, thankfully. But thankfully that's all it is. He'd really like not going to get his digits fixed. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:26 PM //Ha. Ya hear that? I impressed a god.// His chest puffs up with pride. He swaggers back to the couch, beaming. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:26 PM Swoop squeals out, "PLAY!" SpecsToday at 8:26 PM Sorry, minor correction: the dragon comes from one of many species that share the same cultural context. Who all also killed and ate their god. The dragon universe is kind of messed up that way.

"Alright, little bit, here's another worm for you." Squealing is a good way to get a Gummi Coil stuffed in one's mouth, Swoop. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:27 PM "Play? Or snacks?" please don't say 'play' right now. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:27 PM \KINDA NEAT 'N ORGANIZED, THEM BONES. PRETTY CLEAN FOR A BUG.\ Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:27 PM //tdgrtv cat pls get off the table so i can see Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:28 PM Rude! His cookies aren't awful. They're not as good as the Dragon's stuff, but they're crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside, and are still pretty hot! They taste mostly like quartz, but there is the slightest hint of mercury as well. Smokescreen offers one piece to Soundwave, watching for his reaction. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:28 PM With all the Exciting Big People paying attention to him, Swoop didn't see the worm coming and ends up getting startled by the sudden intrusion. Thankfully for the dragon, Swoop holds his beak frozen open instead of snapping down. :V Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:28 PM "I think by the time this movie was made, they probably had sufficient evidence to conclude that Earth spiders aren't exactly conversationalists." Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:28 PM Since Smokey hasn't tossed him more cookies, Sludge is going to return to his snack pile and steadily work through that for the moment. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:29 PM Rebel's optics track between the tiny Swoop, to Blaster, to the dragon, and back again. She huffs.

"Not 'sposed to play with food. That's how you get grounded." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:30 PM He'll take that piece with a feeler. Too comfortable on the couch to get up. [[Hm. Perhaps. For effect, then. Something to bother the easily scared and uninformed.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:30 PM Aww, they're shooting at the poor spider. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:30 PM Crunch crunch. Oh, mercury. That's. That's pretty sweet. A little too much for him, honestly. [[It's not... AWFUL.]] Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:30 PM The word 'grounded' catches Swoop's attention. He gives a more determined flail than before so he can make a daring escape, flying hap hazardously up to try to perch on Rebel. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:31 PM ((ah, the days before anyone knew how horrible DDT was. just spray it everywhere, no masks or nothing, nbd)) Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:31 PM Well, that's not good. There goes Swoop. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:31 PM She turns her head to see the shoulder-sitter, but can't quite make it.

"Let me guess, you want my snacks too?" Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:32 PM Smokescreen's doorwings perk up at the slightest hint of praise, "You think they're alright? What would make 'em better?" Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:32 PM \IT'S A FRAGGIN' BRACELET. JUS' BUY ANOTHER ONE.\ Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:32 PM After fixing his helm, Primus moved to the side of the couch by Soundwave. Sitting down, arm on the couch, he laid his helm against it. To make up for what he did, would Soundwave like a first person, and the data, of seeing a black hole devour a star? SpecsToday at 8:32 PM She'll take the miraculous survival of her paw and keep mutilating the gummi. "I acknowledge that playing with food is bad, but I also acknowledge that the little bit cannot physically eat this at his size." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:32 PM Swoop shook his head determinedly, still holding the worm in his beak. He leans across her, tiny talons doing what they can to keep him attached to her, and tries to put the gummy in her mouth. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:32 PM [[Less  mercury. It's almost sickly. Almost.]] Head snap. Would he like data? He's sorry, Primus; you seem not to have ever met him. Hi, he's Soundwave. Yes, he would. [[Hmph. It's not ugly. At least its fur is a complete covering and not limited to a head patch.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:33 PM Aw, the poor spider. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:33 PM Nope, her head's craning back to get her mouth out of the way.

"What's that? Cooties?" Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:34 PM "Worm!" Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:34 PM Now she's even more suspicious.

"What for?" Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:34 PM ((sorry, the university is going to want it for dissection? you mean you HAVEN'T hollowed out that giant carcass and stuffed/preserve it?)) Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:34 PM Should he...remove Swoop? Or leave him on Rebel? Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:34 PM ((ohhh they're gonna have a rotten mess on their hands)) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:35 PM "EAT!" Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:35 PM "Less mercury? I thought I wasn't putting enough in... Frag, I'll try putting less in." Smokescreen's taking another bite out of his own cookie. He thought it was perfectly sweet! The sweeter something is, the better, right? Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:35 PM "Um." Sounds gross. "Okay...I guess." She opens her mouth, just a crack, not the slightest bit enthused about this idea. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:35 PM ((smelly spide)) Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:36 PM Hi Smokey, here's a baby Dinobot sitting at your feet and looking up expectantly for more cookies. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:36 PM That's fine, Rebel. Swoop has enough enthusiasm for the both of them. He deposits the energon gummy in her mouth and then chirps, pleased with himself. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:37 PM Oh! Sludge wants more cookies? Smokescreen's more than happy to give him another 16th of a cookie, offering it in his servo. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:37 PM Grinning more softly now. Dims his optics as he relaxed. Connect a feeler to the back of his neck. Fair warning, it is quite a lot of data given it is a good week or so worth. When you're ready, he'll let you in so Prowl won't flip out on him if there is an overload. No not that type. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:37 PM He snaps it up and waits for more. More cookies, please. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:37 PM Well, here goes. She lets it sit there for a bit, hesitant, than slurps it up like a noodle.

"Gross!" Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:37 PM (( #GiveSludgeAWholeCookie2019 )) Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:37 PM Wait, already? Smokescreen offers Sludge an eighth of a cookie this time. Maybe this will last him? Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:38 PM ...Maybe not to the back of the neck. How about a shoulder? Is a shoulder all right? Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:38 PM It does not, in fact, last much longer. He crunches through like a champ. Morrrre. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:38 PM Oh. Right. Yeah. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:39 PM Okay, fine, this time, he's offering half a cookie, but Smokescreen's frowning at Swoop. "Don't eat it in one bite! You'll miss all the flavor." Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:39 PM "Anyone who has to ask 'are we friends or aren't we' to demand a favor is not a friend." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:39 PM Swoop lets out wild laughter, just about rolling off Rebel's shoulder with excitement. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:39 PM //Worked in the 'Cons sometimes. ... Probably means yer right though.// Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:40 PM Crunchcrunch. Crunch. CrunchcrunchcrunchcruHIC. A hiccup, and a few embers. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:40 PM "I've never heard 'healthy, supportive friendships' listed among the purported virtues of the Decepticons." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:40 PM Soundwave will snake a feeler over to Primus' shoulder, curious. Ping offer to Prowl to share it as it comes in?

Hopefully not too fast, though. He's interested in this giant spider flick. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:40 PM "Hey!" She reaches out to catch him, luckily she is a small bot and he's not completely dwarfed by her hands...just mostly. "You're making me drop my food!" Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:40 PM Smokescreen isn't going to say anything, but does remember a certain acquaintance from the elite guard that said the same kinda thing. Prowl's probably right... Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:41 PM //That's cause ya didn't know us.// He punches Frenzy's arm. Frenzy punches back and laughs. //But yeah. Yeah, kinda ain't.// Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:41 PM Swoop remains happily on his back in her hands, tiny feet up in the air wiggling a little. "Swoop food?" Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:42 PM "Don't look like food to me," She scoffs, turning him over to examine the little beast. She's not impressed. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:42 PM Whoa! A tiny bit of fire? Smokescreen can't help but get a bit curious, and takes one step back, and gives Sludge one whole cookie. Will he make a bigger ember this time? Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:42 PM "Well. Naturally, I'm sure Ultra Magnus would be an exception to the usual rules about Decepticons." Sharing what, what's he getting? He leans against Soundwave and accepts the offer. Oh! The spider lives! Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:43 PM He's all giddy noises and chirps as she inspects him. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:43 PM The other feeler twitches to the music briefly before settling around Prowl's wrist. Easier with contact. Black holes eating stars is gonna be a lot of observational and scientific data.

[[The healing power of music.]] Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:43 PM He makes it two bites in before he's hiccuping another bit of fire at Smokey's feet. He may have been eating those cookies a bit too fast after all. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:44 PM Smokescreen's immediately jumping up, trying to avoid the bit of fire, "Ow, frag, ouch- you doing okay, kiddo?" Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:44 PM //Naturally. Though I ain't normally known for bein' a friendly kinda bot, so keep it under yer helm. Can't have mechs expectin' Ultra Magnus to smile.// Rumble tries like hell to arrange his features into something gruff and serious. His mouth keeps flickering in and out of a grin though. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:45 PM "Hmm." She cups him in her hands, stepping over the spilled treats and inexplicably away from the snack table. "You're gonna get me grounded again, I can tell. More trouble than you're worth, that's for sure." Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:45 PM Oh. Ooh. Movie, what movie? He's measuring hundreds of pinpoints of astronomical data per second and feeding them back to Soundwave. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:45 PM Sludge shrugs at Smokey. This is new, he has no idea what this whole hiccuping fire thing is about, it's new. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:46 PM (( He needs to be burped. )) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:46 PM \MOVES KINDA SLOW, DON'T IT? PROBABLY THEY COULD JUS' WALK AWAY FROM IT INSTEAD OF RUNNIN'.\ Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:46 PM ((dino burbs sound dangerous XD)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:46 PM (( :) )) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:46 PM //Aw, that ain't no fun. Runnin's dramatic-like. Makes better storytellin'.// Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 8:47 PM And now that he's not looking after Swoop, he's looking to the movie he's missed most of. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:47 PM No, not too fast. Consider it background data so it won't interrupt the movie. Soundwave will still get all the data, so he can access it again later at his convenience. Primus chuckled at the feeling from Prowl. Just reading fields. Nothing to be alarmed over. Was Soundwave all set to be guided?

Not even watching the movie. Just here for the company. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:47 PM Swoop chatters wordlessly, but everything about his tiny frame radiates happiness. They're clearly going on An Adventure. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:48 PM All set and ready to sink into a glorious mess of interpreted astronomical data and raw information. It'll be like getting a back massage after spending a day in the mines. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:48 PM "Huh. Well, uh- maybe that'll be the last cookie for now! You know, that cookie had, uh, red energon in it. I bet you could run really fast all around the room now." The red energon was, thankfully, a lie this time. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:49 PM Prowl's avatar lacks a field to be read. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:49 PM A baleful look, and another hic. He doesn't WANNA run, Smokey. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:49 PM //Aw, c'mon... where's the kid's parents?// Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:49 PM Shhhhh. Don't question Primus, Prowl. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:49 PM An Adventure might just be right, but she's not the one taking the risks. Nope. Rebel has a better idea; let Dad get grounded for whatever happens next. She deposits Swoop on Windchill's elbow, let them play Shadow of the Colossus or whatever. She's got snacks to get back to, then she'll come back to check on them. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:50 PM \HEHEH. MONSTERS'RE DUE ON MAPLE STREET.\ Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:50 PM "... Tarantulas also tend to only eat every few days." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:51 PM Swoop squeaks dejectedly when Rebel abandons him.... but his attention span is as short as ever, so he almost instantly gets into full king kong mode, making his own wild noises as he clamors up this tower named Windchill. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:51 PM //Maybe he's gotta do way more cause he's so big?// //Zori's gotta eat a whole lot when he gets big.// Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:51 PM "... Possibly. But humans are also a lot bigger than normal tarantula prey." How does spider metabolism work. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:52 PM ... Oh. Oh, maybe that didn't work. "Well, uh- I bet I could spin you around if you want?" He's not used to bots younger than him! What is he even supposed to do? Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:52 PM Windchill will...wait patiently and hold still so as not to knock the little cretin off. Swoop's sure to move into visual range at some point, right? Being so big has it's downsides. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:52 PM Spinning sounds fun. He might want to do that. Sludge considers before nodding. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:53 PM Eventually, Swoop makes his way onto Windchill's chest. Having such tiny talons makes holding onto transformation seams easy. He's on his waaaay! Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:53 PM Pit if Soundwave knows. Tarantulas doesn't even eat humans. ...He thinks. He hopes not. Prowl wouldn't like that. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:53 PM He sure wouldn't. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:54 PM Rebel, meanwhile, has returned to pick the dropped treats back off the floor. Someone else can eat 'em, they've been contaminated! She'll keep the ruined ones in one hand, and start over once more on getting an unhealthy selection of new ones. Now, she can wander on back to see how Swoop is doing. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:54 PM "... It's not quite 'Earth versus the spider' at this point, is it? Closer to 'town versus the spider.'" Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:55 PM Alright then! Smokescreen leans down to pick up the teeny teeny baby before spinning him around and around! Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:55 PM Windchill still can't see a darned thing; boobs too big, but he can feel tiny claws tickling him in all of the wrong places and hear the monstrous sounds of a demanding dino on approach. Luckily, it's not his chestplates that are ticklish. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:56 PM Well, it cures his hiccups at least. But, ah. No. No, he definitely does not like being spun around like this after all; he's not entirely sure what to do about it though, so he cries. Loudly. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:56 PM ... The poor thing. What did that little spider do to deserve squishing. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 8:56 PM Resting his helm now as if he were asleep, Primus' optics turned off so he could focus on the data flow that Soundwave was recieving. It was fairly simple metrics from a further distance away. Getting closer there was more data to be sent as the gravity pull from the wells began to change drastically. Cue the influx of data and accompanying visuals of a star heading into the emptiness before it was torn apart in a rather beautiful display. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:56 PM Chill's ears flick, and his head turns towards the crying. What the hell is going on? Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:57 PM //Maybe there's a whole lotta towns gettin' spidered up. Jus' we get to see this one only.// Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:57 PM OW. Ow, ow, ow. Smokescreen quickly puts Sludge back down, patting his helm, "It's okay, it's okay, we've stopped, we've stopped, see? You're gonna be fine." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:57 PM (( provided gif https://www.sciencealert.com/images/9f2df7fe3845cffaba5185a9ed2313ce.gif )) Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 8:58 PM No they're WEREN'T, that was AWFUL! TERRIBLE. He lays down and continues crying. He definitely doesn't ever want to do THAT again. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:58 PM ...Gonna need more than a few hundred points, Prowl. Gonna need a LOT of points. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 8:59 PM Prowl's only capable of eight hundred odd simultaneous points, he's mathing as fast as he can. And definitely not watching the movie. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 8:59 PM Swoop's head snaps over to look at where Sludge is crying. What happened? He pushes himself off Windchill to glide over and land on top of Sludge in a protective baby pile. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 8:59 PM Smokescreen's staring around the room desperately, hoping someone might know enough about babies to help, "It's gonna be fine, I'm sorry for scaring you- do you want another cookie?" Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 8:59 PM \HEY! WHO MADE SLUDGE CRY?\ Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 8:59 PM Windchill sighs. So close. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:00 PM \I OUGHTA DRILL YOUR FACE IN\ SpecsToday at 9:00 PM The dragon just stares flatly at the offender. "What the frag, Smokescreen." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:00 PM //No! No drilling. Uh, but seriously. He okay, or...?// Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:00 PM No, he doesn't want a cookie. He wants to lay here and be upset for a few minutes under Swoop. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:00 PM Annnnnd there's crying. From over near...oh. "He didn't get hurt, did he?" Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 9:01 PM A sad, sad hand raise, "I didn't mean to, I swear! I asked if he wanted to be spun around, and he nodded, but now he's crying and I don't know what's wrong!" Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:01 PM Eight hundred odd points will do. He's about as lost in all of that as it's possible to get without sliding out of his own head. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:01 PM That's it, he's getting to his feet. SpecsToday at 9:02 PM "Smokescreen, you can't spin hatchlings very fast! You'll make them ill- especially if they've already eaten." Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 9:02 PM "I don't think he's hurt, but- I don't know. I thought bitties liked getting spun. I liked getting spun." Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:02 PM Sends out a low, soothing, field from where he sat to see if it'd help comfort Sludge. While still keeping track of the data influx for Soundwave and Prowl. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:02 PM "You probably made him sick." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:02 PM //How'd you like gettin' spun up by Trypticon, huh?// Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:02 PM Don't worry Sludge. Swoop is being an excellent blanket and will bite the crap out of anyone trying to fuss with you. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 9:02 PM A surprised look at Spectral, and back at Sludge, "Wait, really? "Also, getting spun by Trypticon sounds awesome! Count me in." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:03 PM \LEMME JAB HIM. JUST A LITTLE BIT. C'MON. PLEEEEEEASE.\ //No! Boss'd--// Rumble stares at Smokescreen. //Maybe a little bit.// Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:03 PM He appreciates Swoop being a blanket; don't mind him hiding his face now that he realizes other people noticed he's crying like a BABY. SpecsToday at 9:03 PM "As a general rule, yes." Who left Smokescreen unattended around the bitlets, anyways? Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:03 PM Windchill skulks over to loom over the group, shooing Rebel out of the way and peering at the pile of dinos. Being tall helps a lot, here. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:04 PM Swoop slides his lil self forward so his scrawny body is hiding Sludge's head. (Though there's not much he can do about that noodle neck) Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:04 PM "Me Sludge tank go swoosh," he whines up at Swoop. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:05 PM Frenzy eyes Smokescreen and makes a jabbing motion. Stay away from the kid or you're gonna get the real thing. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 9:06 PM "Oh. Huh... Okay, I'll make sure not to do that again." And he looks down at Sludge again. Though he's mostly looking at Swoop at this point, "I'm sorry, kiddo. I messed up." Aaaand he finally backs up. He doesn't wanna get jabbed! Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:06 PM "Bleghuhh!" he commiserates with his brohter. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:06 PM He thumps his tail in response. That may be forgiveness, or maybe just more stomachache complaints. Who knows. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:07 PM "Eh, he'll be fine." Windchill snorts. "Just leave 'em alone for a bit and they'll get over it." With that, he's turning to head back to his seat. Nothing more to be done, there. His hands are too big, anyway. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 9:09 PM ... Frag, what helps sick bitties? Smokescreen's looking around. High grade? Probably not. Maybe some low grade? Would he even want any while he's sick? Finally, he's giving Primus a desperate look, moving to whisper to him, "How do you unsick babies?" "Wait, are you sure? What if I made him really sick? What if he needs to go to a medic now? You're a baby expert, Winds, right?" Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:11 PM "Sure am. Just let them be, his tanks will settle and they need to process their upset emotions and stuff. Plus, you'll get bit if you try anything." He's crossing his legs, sitting himself down on the floor once more. Rebel's going to sit too, and maybe, finally, snack in relative peace. That's all she really wanted. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:12 PM Something keeps bugging Soundwave. Lots of tension in the room. It's hard to focus on it with all the data streaming through his head, but there's not much choice. Gonna try to tear himself out of the special event enough to prod Rumble for an explanation. SpecsToday at 9:13 PM "Smokescreen, he doesn't seem to want to be touched right now. I'm not a bitlet expert, but I think it's important for hatchlings to be allowed reasonable personal boundaries." Spoken with some slight bitterness. Maybe a little. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:13 PM Swoop is an excellent example of personal boundaries right now as he completely plasters himself on top of and all over his still-technically-bigger brother. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:14 PM Can easily pause the data until Soundwave was done. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:14 PM Have fun in the real world, Prowl's still overloading on math. ... Which sense the word is meant in is currently ambiguous. Aw, what? Who paused the math. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:14 PM Sludge is still hiding his face and pretending he wasn't crying like a baby bot so he'd appreciate pretending he's just a rock Swoop's lying on for now, judging by the way he's avoiding looking. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:14 PM (( At least you're saving room for Primus. )) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:15 PM ((LOL)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:15 PM ((oh my god)) Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:15 PM //gfdhgb Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:15 PM (( My work here...is done... )) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:15 PM [[Is everything all right?]] Kinda groggy sounding. [[Do we need to send them back, or to a hospital?]] Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:15 PM ((Technically speaking, snek Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:15 PM [dying] Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:15 PM ((there is a sacred threesome and a preschool in this same classic horror movie screening and I'm not sure how we got here so casually)) Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:15 PM //do u need to save room for primus if primus is the one providing Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:16 PM ((i'm not sure either and yet here we are)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:16 PM "You'll likely just upset 'em more if you move them." That's Windchill's advice. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:16 PM ((primus made room for himself)) Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:16 PM ((apparently not ((and now things hurt from laughing too much Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:17 PM [[Then everyone back up and let them be. We do not need upset Dinobots.]] And he doesn't want to go full protective mode. Then there will be upset everyone else too. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 9:17 PM "Okay, okay- I can give him some space. Someone else can do stuff- I think I should just. Uh. Stay away from babies forever. I don't know what I'm doing. But they're gonna be fine, right?" Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:17 PM [Blaster is gunna die of laughter next to me. I might too. Worth it XD] Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:18 PM ((five minute intermission, get snacks and refills on drinks)) ((next is The Blob)) Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:18 PM And he's going back to his seat, but keeping an eye on the dino's as well. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:18 PM "They'll be fine. If you're still worried, contact their creators and let them decide what to do about it." (( in that case, coffee. )) Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:19 PM ((And thanks Primus)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:19 PM Blinks blearily around the room. He's still 50% math. Upset Dinobots? Where upset Dinobots. What. Huh. He wants to ask a question but his vocabulary is currently offline, so never mind that. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:19 PM Swoop isn't moving an inch off Sludge..... but this is an awful lot of holding still. He's got to peak his lil head up and at least look around a little. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:19 PM He peeks once Swoop does, before ducking back down again. Nope, still too many optics. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:20 PM ((brb, got to banish an empty salmon container so it doesn't stink up my kitchen)) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:20 PM "Chirp!" Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:20 PM Windchill chirps back. They haven't been abandoned, per se. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:21 PM Hums patiently. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:21 PM ((omg this is HILARIOUSLY well done)) Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:21 PM [ :3 ] Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:22 PM Swoop chirps back, a little less emphatically. Just a checking in noise. Making sure no one disappeared in the three seconds since his last chirp. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:22 PM ((a little more gruesome than i expected oop)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:23 PM Nope, still there. Chill emits a coo; it's the most comfort he can offer from a safe distance. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:23 PM Hm. They seem to be all right. He'll just let his consciousness slide back into the data stream for however much of it is left to process. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:23 PM [angrily Noot Noot] Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:23 PM ((DEATH)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:24 PM ((lemme know when y'all are back)) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:24 PM Swoop settles back in on top of Sludge, content that they've sorted things out with that little exchanged. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:25 PM Give him a few more minutes and he'll be willing to sidle towards the closest warm body for attention. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:25 PM There's still quite a bit left. Primus smiled then continued the data stream. It was paused in the middle of the star's energy being dispersed out into the solar system around the black hole. Right back into the data! Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:26 PM ((I Am Back)) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:26 PM ((I'm getting sleepy. I'm going to try to stick it out since I want to see The Blob but, if I go completely dead silent, it means I fell asleep and Swoop did the same as a result lol)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:26 PM Anyway, Rebel's gotten tired of sticky snacks melting in her hand; the ones dropped on the floor are being shoved and wiggled into Windchill's palm for him to deal with. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:26 PM ((with trash trashed)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:26 PM ((lmao roger dodger. we all back now? i think? yes?)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:26 PM ((and ice cream ice creamed)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:26 PM (( Chill can get him home if nothing else. )) Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 9:26 PM ((I'm still here!)) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:26 PM ((put him in his pocket and just walk off)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:27 PM (( That might qualify as kidnapping. )) Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:27 PM ((details!)) Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:28 PM //lmao //sludge is likely to also fall asleep once he gets himself settled in a nice lap Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:28 PM Great, now his hand is sticky and he's forced to look and see why that is. Um. Well, better start eating, he supposes. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:28 PM \WHAT KINDA SCARY MONSTER MOVIE STARTS OFF WITH KISSIN'. UGH.\ Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:29 PM "If it's kissing a monster, than a good monster movie." He hasn't been watching to see, so you tell him. Goo, meet mouth. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:29 PM "No kiss!" :V Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:30 PM Windchill sticks out his tongue, both in reaction to floor food and Swoop. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:30 PM "The alternative is scary monster movies that end with kissing. Or have kissing in the middle." Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:30 PM "You're supposed to kiss babies." Let that be a warning to you. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:30 PM "Gross." A quiet mumble. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:30 PM "Such as The Shape Of Water or..." ... He forgot the name of the goo alien movie. "..................... Toxin." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:31 PM "No no no no no!" <:V Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:32 PM What is going on in the movie now? Was he upset over something stuck to his hand? Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:32 PM //Venom?// \BETTER NOT HAVIN' ANY KISSIN' AT ALL.\ Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:32 PM "You'd better watch out, Swoop." Have some gooey, smooching sounds. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:33 PM "... Is this another movie like To— Venom?" Considering the alien goo covering that man's hand. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:33 PM Swoop GASPS and clings harder to Sludge Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:33 PM //Oh, naw. It ain't a friendly nothin'. Don't even talk.// Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:33 PM Not to worry, he doesn't intend to make good on his threat. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:33 PM Hmmm. Such beauty in the raw data of a literal force of nature. Don't mind him. He's enjoying reliving the event he's sharing with Soundwave and Prowl. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:33 PM "Friendliness and capacity to talk don't necessarily correlate, but point taken." Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:34 PM Too busy cleaning up Rebel's mess with his face, anyway. "Who the hell is responsible for this cookie?" Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:34 PM Sludge leans into the clinging. "Gross," he repeats. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:34 PM ... Oh wait is the data back on?? He's got a lot of math to catch up on. Back into the fray. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:34 PM It's been on for a bit. Soundwave has a decent dose to fling at him like an impatient Swoop waiting for Laserbeak to appear. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:36 PM Behold: numbers. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:36 PM Munch munch munch. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:36 PM Slowly.. sloooowly, inching for a couch. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:36 PM Chuckles. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:37 PM Swoop is light enough to just go along for the ride Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:37 PM Swoop's also covering his face, so he's relying on him to navigate. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:38 PM He doesn't know about this job and doesn't do it at all. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:38 PM Frenzy "whispers". //TEN SHANIX ON THEM PLOWIN' INTO THE COUCH.// Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:39 PM That's fine Swoop. He'll just keep going until he bumps them into something. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:39 PM Hopefully it's not TOO much more data, though. Soundwave's curious about that hand blob. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:39 PM Here we have Frenzy, making the smart bets. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:39 PM It's about the only smart thing he's done in his life, if you ask certain other deployers. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:40 PM He does eventually smack them into something, give or take two minutes later, and tilts his head back to get a look at whatever it is. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:40 PM Maybe another five minutes at the most? The star is nearly completely devoured. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:40 PM Windchill chirrups. He's not looking to see what's happening, but there's nothing wrong with checking in to make sure the dinobabies are still alive, right? Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:41 PM Swoop chirps in response to Windchill and continues not helping Sludge. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:41 PM Aha! Couch. That's what he was looking for. Now which way to the front? "You Swoop find couch." Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:41 PM Still alive, good enough for him. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:41 PM \HA. KNEW IT.\ //You 'n half of Cybertron. I ain't payin' that.// Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:42 PM ((I can't take them calling that dude a kid when he is like 40)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:42 PM Go, black hole, go. Finish consuming the star. Do what you were made to do. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:42 PM (( I know right. )) Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:44 PM He'll continue mathing to the bitter end. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:45 PM He's doing his best to lick his gooey fingers clean. Rebel's free from a grounding...this time. It wasn't her fault. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:45 PM Well. That was disturbing to see. Had his hand been eaten and replaced? Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:45 PM You could say that. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:45 PM Ew. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:46 PM Sludge would like it known that he has successfully navigated his way to the front of the couch. Now he has encountered a new obstacle: getting ON the couch. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:46 PM Consume. Does Soundwave know Unicron was a black hole in one universe after his defeat? Not a very well liked universe, but, it happened there. Tore the fabric of reality apart for awhile. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:46 PM Good job, Sludge. He's rooting for you. Silently. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:47 PM He didn't know that. Why? Did Primus just tell him? Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:47 PM He points.

"Dog." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:48 PM "Swoop" Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:48 PM "Yes. You Swoop." Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:49 PM Thinking about it. Maybe next time. It might be too much. There was all that good data to crunch with Prowl for tonight. Primus would have to tell the Unicron story another day. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:49 PM "Ewwww!" Rebel yells. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 9:49 PM "... That blob is kinda cute." Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:50 PM "Oh dear" Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:50 PM "They're dead." Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:50 PM "Booger" Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:50 PM "You SWOOP a booger." That's Chill's contribution. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:51 PM Success! He has surmounted the mountain that everyone else called a couch and now he is... kind of tired, actually. Flop. Sorry for knocking you around, Swoop. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:51 PM Then he'll wrap up getting that and try to shake himself back to awareness. Slowly. There are hundreds of numbers lingering in his head. [[You are... mostly forgiven. Do not offer him bananas again]] Pause. [[...What is that. On the screen. The... goo. Thing.]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:51 PM "It's me on a bad day." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:52 PM [[Hm.]] A serious nod. It's going to take him a second to realize that's a joke answer. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:52 PM Prowl's going back over the data to run more calculations. He'll be dead to the world for a while yet. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:52 PM Windchill just smiles. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:52 PM He's welcome to be; Soundwave will probably reprocess it while he's drifting off later. It helps him fall asleep. [[...A little red to be you.]] All right, he's caught up to that. [[Blaster, perhaps.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:53 PM Later? Later?? Prowl's still sending his calculations to Soundwave. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:53 PM "...A really bad day. Red's not my colour." Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:53 PM "Excuse you. I don't melt things anymore." Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:54 PM The biggest tragedy of the night is that Prowl missed the chess-playing cop being supported by his peers. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:54 PM Oh! Is that what that series of notifications is? He'll happily scootch himself into a more comfortable position on the couch and absorb them in the back of his mind.

[[Mmm. Anymore??]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:55 PM Chirp, chirp, chirp. Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:55 PM Chirp.......... chirp.... Yawn. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:56 PM ((for a moment i glanced at a username wrong and misread it as "Primus [the-thot-of-light]")) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:56 PM ((AHAHA)) Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:56 PM Can't make any promises, but he'll try not to, Soundwave. Hums his appreciation regardless for the forgiveness. Have a nice trickle of visuals of the warm flickers of the fading star for later as a last bit of data. Primus will probably take a nice little nap here. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:56 PM "You Swoop go home and sleep." Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:56 PM [You killed Blaster XD] Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:57 PM ((ouo)) Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:57 PM //lmao Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:57 PM Primus is welcome to sleep here. Soundwave won't begrudge the creator of their species a little extra rest. He knows how often Primus needs to recharge. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:57 PM ((ow Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:57 PM "No." : < Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:57 PM ((unicron voice: BEGONE, THOT)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:57 PM ((PFFFHFFHFF)) Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 9:57 PM [B A N A N A] Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:58 PM ((hssss)) Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 9:58 PM //im laughing bc i read puff's post and my first thought was "and on the first day, the thot said, let there be light" Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:58 PM It takes him a moment to locate the source of the Swoop-voice, and he gives that voice a shrewd, sideways look. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:58 PM ((lmao)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 9:58 PM ((lol)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:58 PM "You Swoop not tired?" Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 9:58 PM ((-dead- Swoop (medicalmurdersaurus)Today at 9:58 PM "No no!" He yawns. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:59 PM //Liar.// Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 9:59 PM "Oh, my mistake." He doesn't buy that for a second. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 9:59 PM "Is the dog the giant spider?" Smokescreen may be a bit tired at this point! Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 9:59 PM \WH-- WHY THE FRAG-- THE GIANT SPIDER'S DEAD, YA BOLTBRAIN.\ Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 9:59 PM "But perhaps this is one of the giant spider babies!" Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:00 PM \NEVER SEEN A SPIDER BABY LOOKED LIKE THAT.\ Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 10:00 PM Sludge would deny being tired, but crying and then having to climb a couch have tired him out, and he's fallen asleep on his cushion. Tiny, tiny snores. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 10:00 PM Primus shall currently be: :zzz: Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:00 PM "Don't you know? Spiders aren't born with eight legs, they start with four and grow more as they get older." Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:01 PM How many passed out people is he carrying out of here, exactly? All of them? Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:01 PM \LYIN' IN FRONT OF PRIMUS. YOU OUGHTA BE ASHAMED.\ Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:01 PM "Me? Lying? I'm not lying! Come on." SpecsToday at 10:02 PM "Liar, liar, fur on fire, skinned and burnt in a funeral pyre." Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:02 PM "That's grim." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:02 PM \OOOOH.\ //Vicious. I like it.// Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:02 PM "Come on, if I lied, Primus would, like, flick me or something, probably. And I'm not furry! I don't have to worry about that." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:03 PM Soundwave's glad Prowl's busy with numbers. He'd have a spark attack at the idea of someone cleaning up a crime scene the police were trying to inspect. //Don't say that too loud. Someone's gonna give ya fur.// SpecsToday at 10:04 PM "Grimmer when you know that we don't usually burn our dead." Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:05 PM "Why not? Stops the spread of disease and all, saves space, it's super effective." Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:05 PM Maaaay have started dozing off. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:05 PM All right. That's—that's maybe enough for now. He can wait until the movie's over to get back to it. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:05 PM "Look, they've given me everything else. They've given me fake matrices, sparkeater babies, trauma, might as well make me all furry too." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:05 PM //Don't say I never warned ya.// Frenzy sneaks over to Blaster to start trying to snack stacks on him now that he apepars to be dozing. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:06 PM "Greyfaces? Bastards." Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:07 PM "Maybe it'll be in my internals and it'll be fine and I'll be comfy to sit in! You can hang out inside me if they do." Smokescreen is watching for his reaction to the worst offer he's given in a long time. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:07 PM (( When ur dad is like ten years older than you. )) SpecsToday at 10:07 PM "Eh, cultural reasons- primarily the disease part. Burning corpses implies that they're unclean. And we're big on the cycle of life bit, so we usually place the dead out to return to nature. Or, if they were really naughty, we eat them." Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:07 PM "You can say that again. They put you through a lot of slag too?" Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:07 PM Started, Frenzy. He's still mostly awake. Still, he's going to hold still to see how many the mech can stack. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:08 PM "You are what you eat." He yawns. "It's why I'm such an ass." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:08 PM ((28 years old and playing a late teenager. i see dawson's creek casting choices have been a thing for decades)) SpecsToday at 10:09 PM "In theory, it's supposed to be purifying, thank you very much. We don't all become hatchling-eaters when we eat one, you know." Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:09 PM ((dangit now i wanna get out the rescue bots blob episode aszxzxcv)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:09 PM ((they had one? :o )) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:09 PM He yawns again before addressing Smokescreen.

"Yeah. Mostly just annoying stuff, but I don't think I'll ever get over bleeding out of unusual orifices. I suppose it's meant to be humiliating...But I'm immune." Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:10 PM ((yeah! I'll find the specific episode but I think it was a s1 or s2 epsisode? i remember there's also a small alien and a predator reference in the episode)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:10 PM ((what child would want to name his dog william)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:11 PM ((not that one, he doesn't like william  lmao)) Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:11 PM "Wait, what? Were you bleeding out your mouth? Our your sparkchamber? How are you online?" Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:11 PM ((i don't know why he suggested it if he doesn't like it, but. there it be)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:11 PM (( Throw a "the Conqueror" on there and it's at least...a reference. )) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:11 PM That may be a bad idea, Blaster. Frenzy gets bored really quickly. There may be more than just snacks on you soon. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:12 PM ((the idea that a child would suggest a name and then be upset at the name because he doesn't actually like it is far more believable than the idea that a child would want to name a dog william)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:12 PM "Worse than those." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:12 PM Something belatedly registers in Soundwave's mind. [[One moment. Who eats hatchlings?]] SpecsToday at 10:13 PM "No one that gets to live for much longer." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:14 PM This is a satisfactory answer. He nods and settles back against Prowl's shoulder. [[The humans need a camera. Plenty of proof then.]] Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:14 PM He'll just...move if it starts looking like he's gonna get to that point. Rather not find out what else he'd stack. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:15 PM ((OH the blob episode of rescue bots was uh "You've Been Squilshed" and i think i was mixing it up with another episode but yeah basically from what i understand of the blob it's the blob but rescue bots roll to the rescue)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:15 PM No? What've you got against shanix, empty quarter-ration cubes, a blaster (ha) and a live grenade? Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:16 PM Nods vaguely in agreement. Yes. Camera. That is smart. "... Proof of what?" He missed almost the entire set up of the movie. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:16 PM Okay, the first two sound harmless. Third...a bit iffy. The last? Hell no. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:16 PM [[The blob monster. The human eating alien goo. Nobody believes they have seen it.]] Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:16 PM "Worse than those? What other orifices do you even have? Do you secretly somehow have a belly button?" Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:16 PM "Oh! Right. Got— It eats humans?" Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:17 PM [[Mm. Looks like it.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:17 PM "Huh." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:17 PM Fiiiine. Go ahead and knock over all the glasses and snacks and money, then. Spoilsport. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:17 PM "A little lower." He cranes his head, not at all bothered by the topic of magical menstruation. The dinos appear to be intact. Asleep, maybe, but no longer crying or looking miserable. Good enough for him. See? He knows a thing or several about babies. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:18 PM [[Wonder where the mouth is.]] He didn't SEE any. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:18 PM Live. Grenade. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:18 PM Maybe the whole thing is the mouth. Or stomach. Maybe it doesn't have anything else. Organics are bizarre. Oh, come on. You wouldn't play Hot Potato with it either, would you? He'd bet not. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:19 PM "Oh. OH. Frag, ow, it came from there? How'd you deal with that?" He is still thinking of the wrong orifice, somehow. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:20 PM It's a grenade! He wouldn't play games with it, period! He likes his limbs all attached, thanks. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:20 PM Tch. Autobots. He'll take what's left of his snack stash and re-seat himself. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:20 PM "Maybe it's acidic goo." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:21 PM [[Wouldn't it.... digest itself?]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:21 PM "Not very well. It's times like those when you just have to lie down and feel sorry for yourself." Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:21 PM He's just going to straighten up and huff. Seriously. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:22 PM "Acid doesn't melt acid." Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:22 PM "No, yeah, I get that. It's not still happening, is it? Do you, uh, want some of these cookies? They won't cure anything, but at least it'll be a good way to distract you from anything hurting, right?" Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:23 PM "No, that was a while ago." Thank Primus, and he hoped it never happened again. What a waste of energon! "You're the one with the cookies?" Chill considers this. "Sure. I liked the other one." Granted, that one had been mingled with the other myriad snacks, but he'd go for another. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:24 PM "Wait, you really liked them?" Smokescreen's doorwings flutter, more than happy to give Windchill a few more cookies. And a few more. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:24 PM [[Hm. Tracks by vibration?]] Doesn't see any eyes, ears, or nose on it either. [[Stand on a desk.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:25 PM "Is the dog barking inside of it? Or has it learned to bark?" Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:25 PM "Or hang out on a hammock!" Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:25 PM "Yeaaaah?" He's, uh, easy to please. He doesn't know why that would even be a question. A cookie is a cookie, isn't it? Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:25 PM [[The dog, he thinks. It stopped.]] Light frown. [[Probably ate it.]] [[The goo ate the dog, he means. Not-- He doesn't think the dog could eat it fast enough.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:26 PM "Did the humans make noise when they were eaten too?" That was during the part he wasn't paying attention to. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:26 PM Then again, said cookie had been on the floor for a few minutes, so it might just be that he has no standards when it comes to fuel. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:27 PM [[No. But it went for their heads.]] [[Suffocation, likely.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:27 PM "I think it had a lot more than the dog's head." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:27 PM [[Poor beast. ... Don't tell Ravage.]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:29 PM "Hmm." Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:29 PM Oh. Another movie where the police are portrayed as stupid and oblivious. Hm. ((where the hell did a bunch of kids get access to an air raid siren omfg)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:30 PM ((it's the 50s, where WOULDN'T they get access to one)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:30 PM ((is there just, a button on the streets. "push in case of air raid.")) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:31 PM ((LOL)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:32 PM Munch, munch, munch. As many cookies as he's handed, he'll eat. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:33 PM Oh, good, ONE isn't being portrayed as stupid. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:33 PM Smokescreen isn't going to stop until he's out of cookies or until Windchill says something! Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:34 PM "Well, that's guaranteed to make it worse." Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:34 PM Fools, did you really think that Rebel would be left out of this cookie action? She'll snatch them right out of Windchill's hands. What if they run out of cookies. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:35 PM Oh! Rebel wants cookies, too? He's happy to feed her, as well. But if they run out, then he'll get to go home with an empty energon cube of cookies! "... Is it bad I kinda wanna eat the blob" Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:36 PM Windchill swallows and clears his throat, not about to be a bad example by talking with his mouth full while Rebel is around. "Probably." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:36 PM ((four cents a pound for watermelon, man)) ((yes yes i know, inflation, but let me dream)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:36 PM ((if only)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:36 PM (( What a time to be alive. )) Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 10:36 PM //i could eat so much watermelon Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:37 PM "......ew." Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:37 PM "Even I would hesitate to put that in my mouth." Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:38 PM "It looks like it has a really tasty, gooey texture, though! I bet it'd be good with some mercury syrup mixed in." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:38 PM [[Trapped.]] Chin on hand. He'd like to see how they expect to get out now. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:39 PM "It's got humans mixed in already. And a dog." How's that for flavour? Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:39 PM [[Ugh. Vile.]] Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:39 PM "Agreeing with Soundwave here." Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:39 PM "... Are they going to SHOOT the power line?" Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:40 PM "Oh, yeah, I guess that probably wouldn't taste great." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:40 PM [[Electricity worked on the spider.]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:40 PM "Depending on who you ask." Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:40 PM "...... That was actually a pretty impressive shot." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:40 PM [[Agreed.]] [[Sensible creature. If you ask him.]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:42 PM He just...looks at Soundwave. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:43 PM Huffs. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:43 PM "Hmm." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:43 PM [[...What.]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:44 PM A smile is all you get. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:44 PM He's not sure what to make of it, so he just chooses nothing. It's noted for later, though. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:44 PM "Just delicately pick the lock- yeah!" Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:45 PM ((Delicate Lockpicking Method)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:45 PM (( I shed a tear. )) SpecsToday at 10:46 PM ((tapping out early. sorry, 'tis finals week. ilu all, I am just sleeby.)) Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:46 PM ((Oh! Have a good night! And hope your finals go well :O!)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:46 PM ((np, you're right at th eend anyway so don't worry about missing much <3)) ((good luck on finals!)) Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:46 PM ((get sleeb)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:46 PM He's going to subspace a single cookie for the dinobrats later. He feels a little sorry that they didn't get to play all that much. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:46 PM ((good luck! Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:47 PM (( Good luck and good night! )) Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:47 PM "Primus, I'm glad they made it. I thought they were going to go offline..." Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:47 PM (("as long as the arctic stays cold." sounds like it's high time for a sequel!)) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:48 PM ((there was one!)) Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:48 PM ((well shit Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:48 PM ((but another would sure suit it now haha)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:48 PM "Interesting." Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:48 PM ((yeah Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:48 PM (( Still pretty damned cold, trust me. )) Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:49 PM Soundwave stretches. [[Intriguing. Humans are afraid of such strange possibilities. Something to keep investigating, he thinks. But for now, he should pick up.]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:49 PM (( Set it another 100 years in the future maybe. )) Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 10:49 PM Angrily: Noot Noot. [didhereallydoit?] Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:49 PM Yawns. Okay, that's probably a sign he should be heading home. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:50 PM "Well." Time to get up and collect everyone who needs a ride home. "Thanks for the cookies, Smokescreen." Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:50 PM "By the way, Soundwave- this reminds me, I've got some documentaries I'd be up to watch with you privately sometime." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:50 PM [[Oh? Send him descriptions of them. He'll see if they're worth making time for some night.]] Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:51 PM Smokescreen waves at Rebel and Windchill, starting to get up as well. "You got it! I'll pick the best ones to share with you." Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:51 PM He snaps his fingers, Rebel's cue to lick hers clean and fetch the Dinobots in her more appropriately sized hands. How they're communicating with such simple gestures isn't anyone's business. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:52 PM Comms, he assumes. Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:53 PM Very likely. Blaster (boomtanknotboombox)Today at 10:53 PM Stands up and waves. "G'night. Time for me to go home." Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 10:53 PM Sludge's only response is a sleepy snuffle. He's ready to be take home. Smokescreen (ask-smokescreen)Today at 10:54 PM Before he leaves, he's going to grab a few more sweets, to compare and try to recreate. "Good night, everyone! I've got some business to take care of." Secret business! Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:54 PM [[Goodnight.]] Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:54 PM "I don't wanna carry 'em the whole way." Rebel, naturally, finds something to complain about already, and Windchill offers his palm with a mildly annoyed grunt. If she places the babies there gently, it'll be fine. He had to carry her around for days at a time when she was this small, after all. He can handle it. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:54 PM ((oh hey this song's in gotham)) Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:55 PM "I've got the creatures. Does anyone else need to be hauled out of here or are we good?" Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:55 PM [[That's it, he believes. The others have gone. Or are allowed to stay.]] Small nod in Primus' direction. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 10:57 PM :zzz: Windchill + Rebel (chillintel)Today at 10:57 PM Windchill doesn't appear to get it, and shrugs.

"Can't say that I know where anyone else lives, anyway." Rebel scoots towards the exit, and he follows. "Goodnight, watch out for blobs." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:58 PM [[We will. Blobs and many other things.]] And the door locks behind the last of the leaving guests. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 10:59 PM Speed trial bridge the couches back into position go. And done. Sludge(Slvdge)Today at 10:59 PM //ninii Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 10:59 PM ((night <3)) [[Remind him,]] turning to Prowl, [[that he has a gift for your Magnemite. The closest thing he could imagine as a tr--]]

Please hold. Taking off his visor to make sure he really saw that.

Okay, he really saw that. [[...As a treat. One day, you are going to pass him up in bridging creativity and skill. This is not a complaint.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 11:03 PM "I'm sure it'll appreciate it." He offers Soundwave the thinnest smirk. "And I expect you to keep competing."

Now. As much as he'd LIKE to plow Soundwave into the couch... He leans forward to look around Soundwave and give Primus a dismayed look. Soundwave obviously isn't sending him home. (Whatever qualifies as "home" for an entity that is in fact the planet on which they're currently sitting.) The couch, therefore, is unfortunately off-limits. With apologies to Frenzy and his ten shanix. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 11:07 PM [[He will spend all of tomorrow contemplating how best to show off in front of you; do not worry about that.]] Quiet huff.

As for Primus... [[Let him rest. He has earned a safe space to catch up on it with that data. The twins can stay to watch over him.]] He'll try to ignore that Frenzy's already readying the snacks and shanix again. [[We, however, are under no such restrictions.]] Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 11:08 PM "I certainly wouldn't disturb him." Which is the problem. He didn't want to have to relocate first before banging. But alas. Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 11:08 PM You know he's probably seen it all, right? Doesn't care. Enjoy. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 11:09 PM Oh, it's not so terrible. Why, there might even be a small attempt to impress involved in the process of moving. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 11:10 PM Prowl doesn't frag in front of people who didn't clearly agree to be witnesses, whether or not they've seen it all. Consent is one of the three basic tenants of good BDSM. ... And good interfacing in general, in his opinion, but it seems to him that people into vanilla stuff don't pay attention to those sorts of rules the way they ought to. But do impress him, Soundwave. He's ready and waiting. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 11:12 PM [[Then let us be on our way.]] He squints and looks Prowl up and down before the next bit. [[But first, two questions. Are you afraid of heights, and do you trust him?]] Primus [the-lord-of-light]Today at 11:12 PM Would they even ask him? [I'm a lazy mun. Don't mind me.] Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 11:13 PM Not while he's asleep, certainly.

ooOOooo. "Not in this frame, and certainly enough to go somewhere dangerously high with you." Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 11:26 PM [[Good.]]

Because he's about to drop Prowl through a bridge that opens upside down and tosses him up into the open sky high, high above Iacon.

Prowl won't have time to fall for more than a moment after reaching the peak of that tiny flight. Another one opens to let Soundwave dart out and up in alt mode. In a flash, he's unfolding and scooping Prowl into his arms in mid-air, binding him close as a third bridge pops open just beneath them.

He completes the landing on the floor of his apartment, just in front of the OTHER couch, with only a slight wobble in one leg hinting at the stress of it. And plop on the couch Prowl is carefully dropped. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 11:32 PM Prowl had expected that Soundwave might be spontaneously dropping him into the sky. He was NOT expecting to be flung UPSIDE-DOWN into the sky.

He barely manages a strangled gasp before he's safely in Soundwave's arms, and flings his arms around Soundwave's shoulders as they pass through the bridge into the apartment. As they land, he stares at Soundwave's face, jaw dropped.

He doesn't let go as Soundwave plops him down. Instead, for a moment, he clings to his shoulders; and then jerks him down, hooks a leg around his thigh, and tugs him desperately into a kiss.

He was impressed. Soundwave (Slenderwave)Today at 11:38 PM A mech doesn't spend a hell of a lot of time stuck around Starscream without learning how to modify and pull off a few stunts. It just doesn't happen. Granted, Starscream probably would have let Prowl fall a lot longer before catching him, but Soundwave wanted to SURPRISE Prowl, not scare the spark out of him. Prowl wouldn't have dragged him into a kiss afterward if he'd done something like that.

And he's more than willing to let Prowl do that. He's got physical reassurances to offer and a burning need to bite those beautiful lips, and both of those are best dealt with by diving right in.

They just got all the air they needed. He won't be coming up for more any time soon. Prowl (verdigrisprowl)Today at 11:39 PM And down they both go.

[spnfanficpond]

November 2018 Pond LiveChat Recap

We had a great time chatting with Rhi, @kittenofdoomage!!! Thank you so much for joining us!

We talked about getting readers, interacting with readers, and how Tumblr has made it more and more difficult with their changes for new writers to get noticed. Details from our discussion with Rhi under the cut, as well as notes on what we’re working on in the Pond!

Q: Do you wait until you are done writing a series before you begin posting, or do you post as you write?

I wait until I'm done writing a series. At some point, the idea will catch me and I have to write the entire thing, which will take about three days. Editing for another 1-2 depending on my betas and then it gets released in its entirety on Patreon (my patrons like reading the entire fic in one go, they're paying for it so I'm not gonna make 'em wait) and comes out in chapters on Tumblr about three-four weeks later. I hate feeling like I'm making people wait too long and then shit happens like it did with three of my permanently hiatused fics.

Q: Well, as for why we're here, Rhi, you get so many asks every day. How do you have such involved readers?

A lot of my readers who respond are regulars. I have those who pop up with the odd "this is awesome" and those who will write long involved reviews which I love!

Q: Do you think there's anything in particular that you do that encourages people to interact with you?

Yeah, I'm open with people and pretty approachable. I like discussing things, plot points, characters, anything really. There are very few things that trigger me, too. I have only three specific things that will turn me away from a fic. I think my lack of triggers helps with people who need someone like that to talk to.

Q: Do you ever ask around and try to figure out what people are looking to read to try and help boost your reader count or do you just draw inspiration from your own ideas?

At the moment, I'm mostly working on commissions, so it's other people's ideas. I'm lucky that most of my Patrons and commissioners are very patient with me and know up front that I have no specific time limits. I will write it but I can't force it. And I won't force it because that leaves everyone with a shit story.I never put an idea away forever though. I write them all down. If inspiration hits for something, I write it there and then because I never know if I'll get that mojo back.

Q: Has there ever been an Idea that has caught you by surprise when you start it as one thing but it ends up as something else?

Only about six thousand times.

Over The Hills And Far Away that I'm writing now, was supposed to only be a Dean x reader but my reader decided to go and have chemistry with Sam too.

Q: Have you noticed a bump in followers after you do anything specific?

I always have a bump in followers after Sinful Sunday. Unfortunately, I always end up with a bump in unsolicited dick pics and porn bots, too, so a purge usually follows. When I post new characters or fandoms, too. I've recently picked up a bunch of Marvel followers.

Q: As a big blog, you must also get some hate. How do you deal with that?

They don't like me because I play with them and their insults are like water off a duck's back with me. Unless they bring my kid into it. I shut an entire set of blogs down when that happened. That's also why I no longer post anything to do with my daughter. I will avoid using her name wherever possible. If I'm in a bad mood, I ignore it. If I'm feeling like an utter bitch, I'll tear them a new asshole.

Q: Rhi, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate with family, work, and writing.  Is there anything in particular that keeps your creativity flowing so you don't burn out?

I try and do something different every day. Painting, gaming, going for a walk - it's important for me not to spend all my time on one thing. Even if it's just cleaning. I also listen to a lot of music - Classic Rock on Absolute Radio is my fav. Actually, my favorite time to think about fics is when I'm about to go to sleep.

Q: I'm not sure how to even ask this, but I came into the spn fic fandom a little late and so I'm finding it difficult to gather new followers. Do you have any advice? I have a master post with the few pieces I've written but I've gotten a lot of flack for writing OCs...

Tumblr is not helping with regards to gaining new followers lately. Tags aren't working if you're an NSFW blog, no one can search anything. The only thing I can suggest is reblogging, asking other authors if they'll read your work.

[Other suggestions from the chat included submitting fics to @dirtysupernaturalimagines and the Pond, joining other people’s writing challenges (The Pond’s S14 Challenge is here, @thing-you-do-with-that-thing is always running challenges, and @mrswhozeewhatsis has a tag #writing challenge on her blog). Also, “Tumblr loves porn” and the fandom loves Dean, in particular, so writing more Dean smut will get you more readers. Just adding “Dean x Reader” to the tags, even if the relationship is barely mentioned, will get you more readers. Sam will get you the same result, but to a lesser extent. Rhi got bigger writing ABO fics, and carved out a niche for herself with them to the point she’s considered the ABO expert in reader insert fics. Another tip was to strip OC’s of names and defining physical features, since OC’s don’t get a lot of love. Many “Y/N”’s are actually just OC’s without a name. Also, if you’re writing a story that will eventually have smut, list “eventual smut” in the tags.]

Q: Random question:  a bunch of us smaller blogs have noticed a drop in reblogs over the last year or so, and I'd be curious to know if, as a bigger blog, you've seen anything like this as well?

Absolutely. A year ago I was getting about 10-20k notes a day. Now, if I hit a thousand, it's a good day and I'm expecting to take a massive hit because of Sinful Sunday, if they don't entirely delete my blog.

Q: Does anyone have any idea why the notes have all dropped so much?  Is it a glitch in notes?  People being more apprehensive to reblog nsfw things because of all the nsfw fear going on?

Community responses: The posts with outside links not showing up in searches is related to bots and porn blogs that only reblog posts to add a link to a sketchy outside web page. Several months ago, though, Tumblr started the “best stuff first” algorithm (which can be turned off in your dashboard settings, but not everyone knows this), and that pushed posts with few notes to the bottom of the dashboard feed. Since you never really get to the bottom, those posts never get seen. Tags and reblogs to build up note counts are the only way to combat this. Now, messing with the search functions means that there will be no new readers without blogs that just reblog fics, like the Pond and @dirtysupernaturalimagines and such.

[Editor’s Note: Rhi told us she’s working on a UPS Driver!Sam fic!! I’m excited. “What can Brown do for me?” YES, PLEASE!]

What’s coming up in the Pond:

Angel Fish Award nominations are due by the end of the month, so you have less than a week to submit yours and gain an entry for every nomination into the raffle! Win fabulous prizes just for spreading love! HOW COOL IS THAT? (Also, don’t forget to submit your own fics to the Pond so that other Pond members can easily find them and nominate them!)

Note: Please use the submission form to submit nominations. Asks do not allow you to include a link to the fic, and sometimes we can’t find what you’re nominating, especially now that Tumblr searches don’t work.

Design contest to find a Pond graphic! Entries are due by the end of the month, so less than a week away! So far, we have ONE (1) entry! (I mean, it’s a pretty fabulous entry, but still!) Winner gets their choice of swag with their design on it!!

SPNFanFicPond Season 14 Weekly Episode Writing Challenge - Since we didn’t have a new episode this past Thursday, the previous week’s challenge is still collecting submissions. (Honestly, there’s no deadline on any of them. Post a fic using a prompt from any week, and you’ll still be added to the masterpost and reblogged on the Pond blog.)

New Member Spotlight Post coming soon! Check out last month’s post here!

Still accepting additions and discussion about the Warning Tag List (tags to be used to assist folks in avoiding triggers and protect their mental health, not be confused with tags to help people find or avoid preferences). Reply or reblog the post itself, or send an ask to the Pond with suggestions!

Plans are in the works to try and make the blog more app-friendly. Please be patient with us in the meantime!

Plans to expand the beta program to make it easier to find the type of beta you need are also on the to-do list.

Housekeeping Note: If you send an ask to the Pond and do not get a response in a couple of days, please notify one of the admins (Michelle - @mrswhozeewhatsis, Mana - @manawhaat, or Kale - @aprofoundbondwithdean) via IM and let us know!

Thanks to everyone who joined us this month and made it an awesome conversation!! Can’t wait for next month!

Next month’s discussion: Giving feedback to other writers and how a beta reader can help your writing! Joining us will be @littlegreenplasticsoldier!

Be there Dec. 15th at the usual time!  (Los Angeles - 2PM, New York - 5PM, London - 10PM, Melbourne - Sunday 9AM)

[squirenonny]

All squares have been claimed!

Sooooo.... Been a while. Sorry ‘bout that. Life, you know?

Fun story about this one. I've worked 10 of the last 11 days and missed my lunch break on two of those days (yayyyy Thanksgiving week at a grocery store~) Anyway, I was dead tired all this week and couldn't focus on any of my WIPs, so I scrolled through my list of @badthingshappenbingo​ prompts and this one sparked my interest.

Got 500 words into it before realizing why "Worked Themself to Exhaustion" might be striking a chord. |D

Anyway, enjoy! You can also find this on AO3 here!

Spoilers through Chapter 31 of Shadows of Stars. Chapter 34 provides some useful additional context for this chapter, but you won't find any actual spoilers for that chapter here. Set sometime nebulously in the future, relative to the most recent update.

Worked Themself to Exhaustion

Original prompt (from anon): Allura/Meri 'Worked Themselves to Exhaustion' for the Bad Things Happen Bingo?

Allura found Meri on the bridge several hours past midnight, standing at one of the computer terminals near Coran's station, backlit by a frosty blue glow. "Are you still up?"

Meri jumped at the sound of her voice, then tried to cover with a laugh. "Allura! You scared me." Allura crossed the bridge to where she stood, pulling her dressing gown closer as she walked. She hooked her chin over Meri's shoulder and peered at the screen. "Working on something important?" Meri shrugged with the shoulder that wasn't currently supporting Alllura's chin. "Nothing terribly interesting," she said. "Just going through reports from the Accords and stuff." "Couldn't that wait till tomorrow?" Meri shrugged again, tension creeping into her spine. Allura tipped her head to the side, studying Meri's face in profile. She looked tired. She had since she'd returned from her stint as a spy, but it showed now more than ever. The screen's light only deepened the inky shadows beneath her eye and accentuated the lines pulling at the corners of her eyes, and her hair hung limp around her face, the way it did when she'd gone too long without a shower. Except in the immediate aftermath of a battle or other emergency, Allura couldn't remember ever seeing Meri so not put together. Spying had changed her. Allura didn't know the details of it; Meri had remained tight-lipped on anything that wasn't actionable information. The projects Haggar was working on, the abilities of the druids, whatever she'd managed to dig up in digital records or in conversation with other druid candidates--all of this Meri shared freely and with little inflection. It gave away more than she probably wanted to admit to, but she studiously ignored any probing questions into her own well-being. She'd done what she had to to maintain her cover, and that was all she'd say on the matter.

Allura wrapped her arms around Meri's waist, pressing flush against her back. Meri instantly tensed, every line of her like stone in Allura's embrace. Allura frowned, sneaking another look at Meri's face. Lit from beneath by the display screen, it looked even more gaunt than ever, her eyes dull and distant. "Why don't you step away for a while?" Allura asked, trying not to put any judgement into the question. "Come get some sleep, start fresh in the morning. I'll help?" Meri gave an awkward shrug, her eyes never leaving the screen. She reached out mechanically to navigate the menus, and Allura idly followed her progress. She wasn't doing anything any more involved than she'd said. Just cataloging distress calls, routing memos from the Accords and the paladins' allies, approving maintenance reports and other minutiae of castle upkeep. She did it all with that same stiff posture, remaining rigid in Allura's arms. Maybe it was just Allura imagining things, but she seemed to actually be leaning away from her touch. "Meri?" Allura asked. She hesitated, all her diplomatic training failing her as she found she had no idea how to ask what she wanted to. Meri preempted her by turning around, a smile softening her face. It was a convincing smile, too. It even reached her eyes to crinkle them at the corners in the way that was so utterly Meri. But they were close enough that Allura could sense the faint currents of Quintessence running beneath her skin. Meri had shifted her features to produce this smile. If she wanted to, Allura could have reached out and cut the strands of Quintessence, forcing Meri out of the shift. She held off, but it wasn't respect for Meri's privacy that stayed her hand so much as a fear of what she would find underneath the perfect smile. How broken was Meri, that she couldn't even force a smile on her own face? "Sorry, 'Lura," Meri said. "I really should get this done tonight. Don't feel like you need to wait up for me, though. I know you've got an early day tomorrow." It was a dismissal, clear as day, and it stung enough that Allura couldn't scrounge together a response. She just gaped at Meri, fighting against her hurt and indignation. This wasn't about her. She couldn't lose sight of that. This was about Meri, hurting and upset and ashamed of it all for some reason Allura couldn't fathom, except that she knew what Meri looked like when she was punishing herself. She'd looked very much like this in the aftermath of Allura's mother's death. Freshly bonded to Blue, she'd withdrawn, building up a facade of strength and indifference in an attempt to be what she thought everyone expected her to be. She hadn't known how to build shifts like this back then, but Allura thought she would have worn them if she could. She'd never wanted to add her baggage to other people's. Meri didn't wait for Allura to find her voice. She just turned back to her busy work, shutting Allura out entirely. Allura could have pressed, could have turned this into a fight, but that wasn't what she wanted. It wasn't what either of them wanted, she suspected. In Meri's eyes, she probably thought she was sparing Allura the worse pain. With a heavy heart and a tongue that felt like cotton in her mouth, Allura retreated. She would talk to Coran in the morning. He might have some advice for her on what to do to help.

Coran wished he could say he was surprised when Allura came to him about Meri, but of all the ways to describe how he felt about this complicated nest of emotions, shock was not one of them. He was, after all, adjunct to the Blue Lion. He'd felt Meri's torment since long before she returned to the castle. Allura had been waiting outside his room when he woke for his morning duties--an early call even for Allura, who had always hated wasting the day away by sleeping in. She'd been dancing on her toes, clearly battling herself over whether or not to knock on his door and risk rousing him early. One look at Allura told him all he needed to know, especially coupled with the groggy malaise he sensed from Meri's direction. She wasn't asleep, though he thought she might have been trying. For once. "It's going to take time," he told Allura once she'd finished pouring out all her concerns. He'd ushered her back into his room and sat her on the edge of his bed, sending off a quick message while he fetched the down comforter that had always been her favorite. Something had come up, he told the ranking officer on the bridge, and he would be late to his usual rounds. "I know you were hoping for a better answer, and I wish I had one to give you." Allura sighed, pulling the corners of the blanket tight at her throat and leaning on Coran's shoulder. "I just want to be able to help her. I know she's hurting. Why won't she let me see it?" That was a complicated question with a complicated answer, and Coran didn't think Allura needed him to say so. She knew as well as anyone how hard it could be to admit weakness, even to a loved one. How long had she carried her grief for her father close to her own heart before she let the other paladins see her mourning? And this situation with Meri was more complicated still. Coran had seen glimpses of it in Thace, and he'd felt whole volumes from Meri through the bond. Considering that this insight was somewhat ill-gotten gains--and especially considering she'd pushed him away as much as she pushed away everyone else, to the point that Coran hadn't been able to tell her properly what it meant for him to be her adjunct... Well, he wasn't about to go telling Allura everything he'd inferred. "She's been through a terrible ordeal," Coran said. "I don't know the full of it, but I know she probably needs time to process. All you can do is be there for her. Remind her that she's not alone anymore. Then when she's ready to talk, she'll know who to turn to." Allura's sigh said she'd already known what it was she had to do, but she didn't like the idea of sitting around waiting for something beyond her power. That was fair. Coran didn't like waiting, either.  So an hour later, after he'd coaxed Allura back to bed to catch up on the sleep she'd lost fretting over Meri, Coran himself went to find his insomniac paladin. She was down on the training deck, apparently haven given up on resting. She didn't notice him come in, and watching her sluggish movements as she took on a training bot--fairly low-leveled compared to her usual fare--Coran had to wonder just how much sleep she'd missed since her return last week. The shadows under her eyes were darker than he remembered from even just last night, her skin dry and waxen, her hair a limp mess. And she was moving slow, too. It wasn't the sluggishness of someone nearing the end of an intense workout. Meri quite simply couldn't track the training bot's movements, which meant that it kept catching her by surprise with its attacks. Coran winced as she took a blow to the ribs, staggering back with a soft grunt of pain. Her face screwed up in frustration and rage, and she launched herself at the gladiator, foregoing the staff she'd selected for this session in favor of a more... hands-on approach. Quintessence flared bright around her fingers, crackling in the air like a living thing and filling up the space between Coran and her. He couldn't read the currents to know her intent, but her hand sank into the gladiator's chest panel. The robot froze at once, its joints locking up, and an uncharacteristically vindictive smile flashed across Meri's face as she yanked her hand back and let the gladiator fall.

The crash of metal rang loud in the sudden silence, and Coran wasted no time in stepping forward. Better to announce himself than to have Meri notice and wonder if he'd been intentionally spying. "You're up early." She whirled toward him, horror dawning on her face for a brief moment before it was smoothed over--quite literally. If he hadn't seen the transformation, he never would have guessed that Meri had donned a shift, but there was nothing natural about the way the panic in her eyes glossed over to bland disinterest, or the way her skin and hair brightened minutely, lessening the appearance of neglect and exhaustion. Even the slump of her shoulders eased by way of a subtle shift in bone structure. Coran's stomach turned at the sight--or perhaps that was the coil of fear reaching him through the bond, stronger even than the shame and guilt twisting Meri's insides into knots. "Coran!" she said brightly. "Hey! Yeah. Figured I'd start the day off right. Haven't been able to keep up with my training lately, what with all the..." She trailed off, her manufactured smile dulling somewhat as anxiety wrapped around her throat. Coran felt it like it was his own emotion, and he had to swallow before he could speak. Even then, it came out strangled. "Of course. Let me know if you ever need a sparring partner." He grinned at her startled blink. "What? I'm not an old man just yet. And I need to be on my toes, what with the whole adjunct situation." She hummed, clearly too distracted to pick up on the hint Coran was trying to give her. He sighed, contemplating how else he might broach the subject of her emotional state. She was so on edge he knew she wouldn't respond well to a direct approach, and the last thing he wanted was to make her shut him down. She needed friends now more than anything. "Do you have plans for the rest of the day, then?" he asked instead, graciously bypassing her obvious exhausted stupor. She shrugged. "I finished the signoffs last night. Went through most of the backlog of Coalition memos, too. There's a few you or Allura will have to take a look at, but..." She trailed off, tightening her mouth around a yawn. Coran wished she would just admit how tired she was--or at least admit what it was that was keeping her from sleep. It felt wrong to ignore the yelmore in the room when he could have punctured her facade without much effort. But that wasn't what it meant to be the blue adjunct. He knew what his paladins needed, and what Meri needed right now wasn't more guilt on top of what she had already piled on herself. To have churned through so much work last night--Coran, better than anyone, knew just how much of a slog that would have been. He was amazed she hadn't fallen asleep at the console halfway through the fiftieth dull report from an ally somewhere. "Well," he said brightly, clapping his hands together. "Thank you for clearing that off my plate. If it's not too much to ask of you, perhaps I could get your help with a few more tasks?" A flush of pride briefly overtook Meri at Coran's thanks--far too much pride for such a simple thing, and it spoke to the depth of her self-loathing. Even more baffling was the staggering sense of relief that answered his request for help. Coran took a page from Meri's book and applied a touch of a shift to his face to conceal his alarm. He wasn't as practiced at it as Meri, and he was sure there were flaws in his shift--he'd never been the best at crafting new forms for himself, and he'd never attempted a partial shift like this before. Thankfully, Meri was too tired to scrutinize him too closely. She crossed the training room to retrieve her discarded staff, nearly toppling over in the attempt. She caught herself on the wall, freezing for a moment as a flood of heat washed through her. She was keenly aware of Coran's eyes on her; he could feel her self-consciousness and averted his eyes before he realized what he was doing, but even knowing its source, he couldn't make himself look directly at her until she'd stowed the staff in the weapons rack and joined him by the door. She wove a bit as she walked with him toward the elevator, fatigue written in every line of her body. She didn't offer any conversation, and he didn't try to tease it out of her. She looked like she might fall asleep standing up--and, in all honesty, Coran would have been glad of it. He didn't feel her exhaustion, exactly. It wasn't carried through the bond like true emotions. But there was a thick haze over her mood, dampening her emotions and heightening those few flashes that broke through the muddle, and trying to adjust himself to it all did give him a taste of what she must have been feeling. She didn't ask where they were going. If Coran had to guess, he would say she didn't care. It seemed to Coran she just wanted something to keep her moving. To keep her awake. He wondered if it was dreams that were bothering her. He reminded himself, again, that she didn't owe him answers, and let the silence swell as they neared their destination. He'd contemplated several options for the first step of what was sure to be a long journey to healing for Meri. She needed sleep, certainly, and he'd briefly entertained the idea of taking her up to the map room in the hopes that the low lighting and peaceful atmosphere might coax her into an involuntary nap. It seemed a little heavy-handed, especially as he couldn't be sure it would be worth the effort. He might well only succeed in stoking Meri's resentment before she stalked off to less lulling pursuits. So instead, he'd opted for a simpler deception. He'd asked Thace to join them in one of the equipment storage rooms for a routine systems check on the supply of BLIP-tech drones. It was a suitably voluminous task to justify having three people assigned to it, but straight-forward enough that it didn't require the attention of someone trained in the upkeep of complex machines. All that was really required was a visual inspection of the casing for damage or corrosion and a manual verification of the last self-check. Thace didn't know anything of the troubles Meri had been facing--at least, not more than he might have inferred because of his own history with espionage. Coran hadn't asked him to speak with Meri, nor had he told him that he had arranged for Zelka to call him away half an hour into the task. It didn't make this any less meddling, but at least he wasn't conspiring on top of that.

Besides, he couldn't very well have just asked Meri to go see Thace. Coran had long suspected she was deliberately avoiding Thace, and the way she stiffened when she saw him waiting inside the storage bay lent credence to that theory. Her steps slowed, her shift slipping momentarily as she visibly weighed the benefits of simply walking out of the room. She eventually decided to see it through, though her reluctance was strong enough to slow Coran's steps, too, and he shook himself, clapping his hands briskly as he entered the room. "Well!" he said, sending a silent apology to Thace, who had startled at the sudden noise. "Now that we're all here, let's get started, shall we?" It took only a few moments to demonstrate the checks, and then they were all off, working their way down separate rows at their own pace. Meri lagged behind the other two, moving on autopilot and struggling to stay awake, but Coran didn't call her on it. They were spread far enough apart that conversation was unnecessary and somewhat awkward, so they worked in companionable silence until Zelka called and Coran took his leave. He only prayed that Thace could help Meri where the rest of them couldn't.

Meri silently cursed Coran for leaving her alone with Thace, and then felt immediately guilty for the thought. There was nothing at all wrong with Thace. He was a good man, and the advice and resources he'd provided her with when she left on her ill-informed espionage mission had probably saved her life several times over. It had certainly enabled some of her more idiotic decisions, but that was hardly his fault. It also wasn't his fault being around him reminded her too much of her time in Haggar's inner circle. He had a way about him, a vigilance even soldiers like Shiro and Keith couldn't match. He was aware of his surroundings at all times, wary of potential threats, but he also watched with an eye that was well practiced at looking below the surface. He didn't have to stare for her to feel as though she were being picked apart. The only saving grace in this situation was that he was two rows over and Coran had promised to make this as quick as he could. With luck, he'd return from helping Zelka in ten or twenty minutes, and Meri could go back to shuffling along like a zombie and trying not to pass out in the middle of her inspection. Quiznak. She was so tired. She shook her head, though, shoving away her exhaustion, and kept moving. She finished ten drones, then twenty, and still Coran hadn't returned. Thirty drones on, she looked up to see Thace approaching down the next row. He was focused on his task, but his proximity raised an alarm in her bones. Someone was here. She couldn't let her guard down. She never had found a way to confirm whether or not her shifts held while she slept, and if he saw something he wasn't supposed to-- Meri caught herself following familiar old tracks of paranoid thought and stopped where she was, staring at her reflection in the polished shell of the BLIP-tech drone. What was she talking about? She wasn't on the Eryth anymore. She was among friends, and she didn't need to worry about someone seeing that she was an Altean. A purple cast had crept into her hand while she was drowning in pointless panic, and she banished that, too, mentally checking herself for any other Galra traits that might have slipped through. It had happened at least once a day since she'd returned--fangs, fur, purple pigmentation. Once she'd fully shifted her ears to the longer, floppier version she'd used as part of her Reza shift. Thace continued working as he drew near to Meri, not looking up from the screen in front of him. "Have you ever tried krebu?" Meri lifted her head to frown at Thace. Logic said he was talking to her. After all, there was no one else in the room. Still, her tired mind couldn't quite grasp the concept of conversation. "What?" she finally said, eloquently. Thace had enough tact not to comment on her mental state. "It's a tea," Thace said. "Old Galra recipe--though perhaps not as old as we like to pretend." Meri cracked a smile at that, the expression pulling at muscles that she swore she hadn't used in months. "I imagine a lot of things seem old until you meet someone from ten thousand years ago. It's good?" "A little bland for my taste, but I suppose that's the point." "The... point?" "It's a common remedy among civilian families. A lot of my men grew up with a parent or grandparent who liked to prescribe it for all sorts of ails. Nadezda swears by it. Personally, I find it hard to believe a few herbs can do all that people claim it can. It is good for insomnia, though. Better than anything else I've tried." Suspicion came roaring back in, popping Meri's bubble of complacency. She reinforced her placid partial shift on instinct before Thace's last statement clicked into place. "You too, huh?" she asked, well aware that she was admitting her own weakness. Well, a piece of it, at any rate. But Thace had a nonjudgmental air about him and, more importantly, there was just enough distance between them for it not to feel like a threat. It wasn't like with Allura and Coran, or even Lance and Rosa. She didn't-- Well, it wasn't that she didn't care what Thace thought of her. She just didn't think he'd known her long enough to have expectations for her to live up to. Thace smiled. "Ever since I left the Accords," he said softly. Something passed between them in those few words. An understanding, of sorts, that went beyond the insomnia. He'd been there. He'd done things to maintain his cover--awful, horrible things. Things that haunted him. Things he regretted, and had regretted from the moment he did them, but he'd done them all the same because the mission mattered more than one solitary person's conscience. The tears took her by surprise, as did most emotion these days. It snuck up on her, stealing her breath, and she turned back to her work before Thace could see her tearing up. She tried to breathe, but breathing only widened the cracks in her composure, so that left her holding her breath and squeezing her eyes shut, as though by forcing the tears out faster she could reach the end of this hysteria sooner. Hysteria. She almost had to laugh at the fact that this was the word her mind had conjured to describe herself, when she'd always hated the way it was so often slung to undermine someone's emotional turmoil. To cheapen it. But she'd impersonated a druid, participated in the interrogation and torture of Imperial prisoners, risked death on a daily basis, and now here she was, crying over tea. Maybe hysteria was an apt word, in this case. "How do you do it?" she asked, hating the way her voice shook but unable to stop the words pouring out of her mouth. Thace remained quiet, waiting for her to elaborate, and she waved her hand in the air, using the gesture as an excuse to wipe her cheeks. She still stared at the pod in front of her. "After everything we've seen, everything we've done, how are we supposed to go back to the way things were?" "Slowly," Thace said, frankly, "and with the support of people who are better than us." He shifted, and when Meri finally turned, she found he had given up all pretense of keeping busy and was watching her now--with sympathy, yes, but also with an ache she knew all too well. "Is it the memories?" "No." Meri hesitated. "...Yes and no. Not memories as such. Just..." She turned away, a lump rising in her throat. "It's like it's not my mind that's stuck back there so much as my body. I couldn't... I never slept through the night while I was there. I was too afraid someone would walk in and notice something off about my shift." Her voice wavered, and she cursed herself, wiping her eyes now with both hands. There was nothing subtle about it, but Thace was far too perceptive to have missed the signs of an impending breakdown, anyway, and she just didn't have the energy to keep pretending. "I don't have to worry about that now. I shouldn't-- I want to sleep, but every time I try I wake up an hour later in a panic. It was worse when I tried to sleep in Allura's bed. It was-- She was there, and there was a part of me that thought she was the enemy."

Remembering that moment, remembering the way she'd reached for a weapon, the way she'd come so close to lashing out, to attacking the one person who mattered more to her than anything else in the universe--

Meri choked on a sob, shaking her head to dislodge the what-ifs that had been haunting her ever since. "When I wake up like that, I can't just go back to sleep. I'm up for another eight hours or more, and the only thing I can do is try to go until I'm about to drop and hope the exhaustion buys me an extra twenty minutes or so before it all starts over again." Her vision had blurred so much by now that she could hardly make Thace out across the row of drones, but he approached slowly, telegraphing his moves. Meri hated that she was so fragile he felt he had to treat her like a wounded animal, but she couldn't pretend she wasn't scared of how she might have reacted otherwise. She didn't expect him to trust her when she couldn't even trust herself. Instead, though, she remained where she was as he approached, his arms spread in a silent invitation. Of all the people in the castle who might have offered her a hug, Thace was pretty far down on the list, but coming from him it didn't feel so much like pity. She teetered on the edge for a moment, then fell against him, turning all her focus toward her breathing in a desperate attempt not to fall apart completely in his arms. "I'm sorry," Meri whispered, turning her forehead into his shoulder. She wasn't sure what she was apologizing for--crying on the lapels of his uniform? Or having this breakdown on him, instead of literally anyone else? She had a whole castle full of people with more reasons than Thace to care about her bullshit. Thace only hummed, an echo of a melody in the sound. "You have nothing to apologize for. Your actions saved a great deal more people than they harmed. It will get easier to see that, with time." Meri scrunched her face up as the flow of tears increased. "I know," she said, not knowing if it was the truth. "I just wish I'd been better." "Be better now," Thace said. "That's all you can do. And remember, this team you have... They don't know the things we know. I pray they never have to learn. But they know a thing or two about healing a fractured spirit... Coran knows the weight of regret as well as us, in his own way." Meri snorted with a sudden realization, then felt immediately silly for not having seen it before now. Vrekt, she really was tired. "He didn't just 'get called away,' did he?" Thace hummed again, one hand rubbing circles on her back. "I very much doubt it. For what it's worth, I didn't figure it out until he got the call, either." "Well... It kind of worked out, in the end," Meri admitted. She lingered in Thace's embrace for another moment, then pulled back. "Thanks. And... I'm sorry. I don't want to burden you with all of my drama." "It's not a burden to offer a little sympathy every now and again," Thace said. "I'm sure Allura and Coran would say the same." "I don't know if I can talk about it with them. Not yet." Thace smiled. "Then tell them that. They'll understand. The wonderful thing about comfort is that it doesn't require exhaustive knowledge of the context. They already know you're hurting; that's enough to start. Tell them what you can, and tell them that you're not ready for the rest, and then just... go from there." Tell them what she could, huh? Meri wasn't sure what that was, but she was long past the point of having enough energy to keep running from the darkness of her own mind. She just wanted to feel safe in her own body again. "Okay," she said. "I'll try." She wiped her eyes again, and pulled back to stand beside the next BLIP-tech drone in the row. She hesitated before beginning her inspection, however, and opened her mouth to ask a question that never came. "Go on," Thace said. "I don't think you need to stay here any longer." He glanced sidelong at his own drone. "If Coran actually needs this to be done, I'm sure he can find someone else to help him." "Punishing him for tricking you?" Meri asked with a feeble smile. Thace chuckled. "If he asks, I'll tell him we figured out what he actually wanted us to do and came to the logical conclusion that nothing else was required of us." Meri shook her head, but she wasn't going to complain about getting the rest of the day off. Her little miniature breakdown had worn her out faster than three hours on the training deck. She might actually make it a full two hours before she woke this time. She nodded to Thace and took a single step toward the door, then stopped again. "Actually...." "Krebu?" Thace asked with a knowing smile. "I stole some while we were on homeworld. Would you care to join me for a cup?" Meri smiled, a weight lifting from her shoulders. "I'd like that very much."

Allura got another hour of sleep before giving up the effort. A very large part of her wanted to go find Meri--not that she knew what she would do after that point. Her conversation with Coran kept rattling around in her head. Be there for Meri, but don't push. It was a delicate balance to strike, especially for someone like Allura, who by her nature wanted to fix problems, not merely commiserate. Unfortunately, Coran was right. This wasn't a problem she could fix. There was no clever solution she could propose that would mend all of Meri's hurts, and until Meri reached a point where she was ready to ask for help, there was very little Allura could do. But she would commiserate until the end of time if that was what Meri needed. It would be better than trying to help and getting pushed away again. Apparently she had time to come to terms with the gentle approach, though, because Meri seemed to have finally gone in search of sleep--or at the very least, she wasn't in any of her usual haunts, new or old. No in any of her favorite places--the synthetic hot springs at the top of Blue Tower, the observation deck where they'd spent so many evenings watching the stars. She wasn't with Blue, either, and Lance hadn't seen her all morning. But she wasn't on the bridge or the training deck either. She may have been in her room, but if she was, Allura was loathe to disturb her. Allura stifled her disappointment and returned to the observation deck to think. It was good that Meri had allowed herself to take a break. She needed all the rest she could get. It did leave Allura feeling rather useless, however. Coran had told her to take the morning off, which meant she still had several hours before he expected her on the bridge. She supposed she could go find Shiro and see what else needed to be done today. She contemplated doing just that, but she'd already settled in on the cushioned bench beside the large, round window, a blanket draped over her lap and a mound of pillows behind her. It was a cozy little nest (not as cozy as it would have been with Meri beside her, but some things were outside of Allura's control), and she was reluctant to move. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, watching the slow drift of stars as the castle-ship drifted through space, but it was long enough that she'd begun to drift herself, her mind falling into that pleasant, weightless warmth right on the edge of sleep. The door hissing opened startled her awake, and she scrubbed at crusty eyes as she turned to see who had found her. Meri stood in the doorway, a sweater in the human style pulled over her rumpled uniform. She had a steaming mug in each hand, bags under her eyes, and a shy smile on her face. "Meri!" Allura stood, tripping over her blanket. She was wide awake now--wide awake and filled with directionless energy. She wanted to say something to Meri, but she didn't know what. Didn't know why Meri had come to find her, after spending the last week trying her best to avoid being alone together. Meri closed the distance between them first, holding out one of her mugs to Allura. "I brought you some cocoa," she said. "Rosa's recipe." "Oh," Allura said, staring dumbly at the mug. "Thank you." They stood there awkwardly for a few moments longer, Meri staring into her own mug, which looked more like tea than cocoa, Allura watching Meri for a sign of what she wanted Allura to do. She looked more vulnerable than she had last night, like she'd finally decided to let her guard down, but Allura didn't want to ruin that by asking probing questions. "Do you... Do you want to watch the stars with me?" Allura finally asked. Meri's answering smile lit a bonfire in Allura's chest, and they settled in together on the bench by the window, shoulders pressed together, the blanket spread over both their laps. The cocoa was delicious, and it spread the warmth throughout Allura's body, soothing some of her nerves. "I'm sorry I've been so distant," Meri said, both hands wrapped around her mug. She stared out at the stars, the soft blue glow of the room's emergency lighting catching in her hair, which was still damp from a recent shower. The light softened her, washing away the marks of her experiences in Haggar's circle. Allura laid a hand on her arm. "You don't need to apologize, Meri. You've been through a lot. You're allowed to take some time to adjust." Meri gave her a watery smile, laying her own hand atop Allura's. "Thanks. I... I know you want to help, and you deserve to know everything. I just... I don't know when I'll be ready to talk about it. It's all too fresh right now. Is it okay if we just... sit... for a while? I've missed you." "I missed you, too," Allura said, squeezing Meri's wrist. "We can do whatever you like. You know I'll always be here for you." Meri's face crumpled, and she gave a self-conscious laugh as Allura pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice hitching. "I just... You shouldn't promise things when you don't have all the information." Allura's throat constricted, and she carefully set aside their two mugs--her still mostly full, Meri's down to the dregs. She turned, cradling Meri's cheek in the palm of hand and gently turning her head until their eyes met. "You're right that I don't know everything you've done," she said, bringing up her other hand to curl around the back of meri's neck, her fingers tangling in the short, fine hairs at the base of her skull. "But I know you, and I know why you did what you did. That's enough for now. When you're ready to talk about what happened, I'll listen, but I already know nothing you say will change how I feel about you." Meri's eyes watered, and she pulled away from Allura's touch. "You can't know that." "Of course I can," Allura whispered. She leaned back into the mound of pillows, pulling Meri with her. "We're at war, Meri. We all face impossible decisions--some more horrific than others. Sometimes we regret our decisions. Sometimes we wish there had been another way." She paused, weighing her words. "You think I think less of Shiro for his past? Or Keith? Thace? I won't pretend that the decisions I've had to make are anything like what you've faced, but I'm not naive. I know the ugliness that exists in this universe." Meri wound tighter in Allura's arms for a moment, then slowly relaxed against her, her breathing evening out. "I guess we all do, by now."

"Unfortunately." Allura wove her fingers into Meri's hair, combing it back from her face. "But I also know that good people are still good, whatever ugliness they’ve faced, and that we can still carve out places to breathe for a moment, away from it all."

"Places like here?" Meri asked, turning so her chin rested on Allura's breastbone. A crooked smile had taken over her face, and it made Allura's heart melt.

"Places like here. Whatever ugliness is out there, I won't let it reach you while we're together. I swear it. So try to get some rest, all right?"

Meri's smile slipped. "I... I'll try. But, Allura, you need to know--sometimes, when I first wake up, I forget that I'm not back there. I don't--You don't need to worry about it. I'm dealing. I'm learning how to. But you should know, because I'm probably going to wake up in a couple hours, and there's a good chance I'll wake you up when I do."

Allura's chest tightened in sympathy, and she kissed Meri's forehead. "Thank you for telling me. Is there anything I can do to help if that happens? Or should I give you space?"

"Space," Meri said, after a moment's pause. "Just for a minute. Just until I figure out what's happening."

Smiling, Allura guided Meri's head down onto her chest. "I can do that. Now rest. I'll be here when you wake up."

"I love you, Allura."

"I love you, too. I always will."

[wozman23]

My 2020 in Gaming

I finished my 100th video game of the year yesterday. In a normal year that would be an embarrassing feat. By in 2020, pretty much stuck within these four walls for nearly nine months now, I'm really proud of it. The last few years, my gaming habits took a severe hit due to working too much. I was fortunate to have the finances to pick up the PlayStation VR and the Switch, but I couldn't dedicate a lot of time to them, and when I did, the joy wasn't there as much since I was often exhausted. In 2018, I still managed to get through almost 40 games, but last year that number fell to 25. There was so much I wanted to play, but I just didn't have the free time. And then 2020 dealt me a lifeline... When LA came to a halt, three and a half months into the year, I was only working on finishing Game #6. Since then, I've been on a tear. A large part of my efficiency came from two choices. In late April, I signed up for Xbox Game Pass for $1 for the first month. Then in June, the “Racial Injustice” Bundle with hundreds of PC games – about a dozen of which I really wanted to play - released on itch.io. Overall, it was a solid mix of AAA games and indie games, although I've skewed more toward indies for years now. There were big anticipated releases like The Last of Us, Part II and Doom Eternal. Splatoon 2 finally got the shrink wrap pulled off that it's been suffocating in for years. (It was fantastic, so I'm not sure why I waited so long.) There were massive games that I put dozens of hours into, like my 77 hours descending into the madness of Hades, or my 69 soaking in the world of Ghost of Tsushima, with a sizeable chunk of those hours being me just toying around with Photo Mode. (Props to the PS5 for finally telling you your playtimes via the OS.) There were dozens of small indie games that only took a few hours to complete – which is kind of my sweet spot these days. A few weighed in at just 30 minutes, like Swarm, a Steam game I found through Get Indie Gaming's Youtube channel, or Syphonia, a student project from ISART Digital that I was anticipating. There were games I replayed, like some of my favorites of all time, Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy and Alan Wake, as well as the remastered versions of Ghostbusters: The Video Game and the Crash Bandicoot and Spyro trilogies. There was great stuff I paid for, and a few awesome games that I got for free through the Epic Games Store, or via subscriptions with PlayStation Plus, Game Pass Ultimate, or the times I took advantage of free trials of Amazon Prime. And I even got hooked on an online multiplayer only game, which has only happened on a handful of occasions in the history of online play.A lot of people are going to look back on 2020 as a terrible year, but for me it's been a godsend. It's allowed me to enjoy multiple passions, with gaming being one of the biggest. Like any hobby, my gaming habits over the years have ebbed and flowed. Overall, the last generation I've been fortunate to own every major console for the first time in a generation. Yet – outside of a few phenomenal games like Horizon Zero Dawn, ASTRO BOT Rescue Mission on VR, and the other aforementioned PlayStation first party titles – overall I wasn't really impressed as much with the AAA offerings. The indie scene is only gaining ground. But with the PS5, the proper return of my all-time favorite franchise, Ratchet & Clank, and my Game Pass renewed until 2022, I'm optimistic about where gaming is headed. As for my favorite games that released this year, here's my list: 1. The Last of Us, Part II 2. Battletoads 3. CARRION 4. Hades 5. ASTRO's Playroom 6. Filament 7. Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout 8. Bugsnax 9. Ghost of Tsushima 10. Ori and the Will of the Wisps The Last of Us, Part II The original The Last of Us was my favorite game of the previous generation, as well as the most impressive game of all time. It was mind-numbingly good, so much so that I really did not want a sequel. I didn't even want to replay it. It was one of those things that just felt complete. Nothing more needed to be said, and in doing so, there would be a large risk at ruining what made it great. Slowly, Naughty Dog eroded away at me, and I began to anticipate the sequel. Right before it I even replayed the remaster of the original. Part II is one of those rare project that manages to one-up what you thought was already perfection. It's like a 30 hour blockbuster movie that just keeps ramping up in intensity. So much of what makes it special is within the design of its details: the way it presents itself, the pacing, its message. Like many, key details were spoiled by online trolls prior to launch, but it really didn't matter. This post could be just as long and be only about The Last of Us, Part II. (I still may write something up at some point.) There's just so much of it to dissect. But it's impossible to talk about without spoiling all of its magical moments. It simply offers a masterclass in game design and narrative flow. I really don't need a Part III, but should one exist, I know damn well I'll be there. Battletoads I loved the original Battletoads. I even replayed it, and beat it with the help of the Rare Replay rewind feature right after playing the new entry. It's practically impossible otherwise. When there was talk of a new game I was hyped. But when it was finally revealed, with a completely different art style, I was taken aback. Because of that, I went in to the new entry not expecting much. However, that stylistic choice is exactly what put it in the Number 2 spot in my list. The original Battletoads concept was created to ape the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the original game felt much like the early TMNT brawlers. The new Battletoads doubles down though, expanding their empire to combat TMNT's cartoons. The game itself is a fairly straight forward 2D brawler, that looks and plays great, but the real stars are the cutscenes and the humor. It has this great Saturday morning cartoon vibe that I've never seen a game nail near as well. I don't watch a lot of the modern cartoons, but many have compared it to Rick & Morty. It's really quick, and silly, and feels exactly what a company should be aiming for if they wanted to create the next TMNT craze in the world today. Sure, the game itself is nowhere near perfect in all dimensions, but the way it tackles humor is really impressive and admirable. That's the main reason it occupies my Number 2 spot. CARRION CARRION reminds me a lot of INSIDE, typeset aside. INSIDE for me was this solid atmospheric game that at it's end became this awesome fever dream, but was over just when it was getting interesting. CARRION feels like INSIDE's spiritual successor. You play as this creepy creature, with all these grotesque tentacles, and you just run amok. It's just plain fun. Plus it's an insanely unique lifeform to play as, and there's nothing more I love than playing a game where you take on the role of some strange creature. Like many of the indie games I love, CARRION doesn't overstay its welcome. Over the few hours of its journey, it iterates, provides you with some unique challenges, they grabs its hat and coat and bids you adieu. There's nothing more I love than a game with that approach. Show me something cool. Make me play something that feels like something I've yet to experience in my over 30 years of gaming. Then get out of the way so that I can find another game that makes me feel that way. Kudos to Game Pass as well for partnering with the CARRION developers and offering the game on release day. I was looking forward to the game, but with so many games on my radar, I often simply can't get around to all of them. Had I needed to purchase CARRION, it might have had to wait in the wings for a while. I've played so many games on Game Pass this year that I may have otherwise never actually purchased, and many of them have found the ranks among my favorites from the last few years. Hades Up until now, I'd like Supergiant Games as a creative studio. I've played all of their games, and loved the artistry present in them. However, I've always felt like the gameplay was a bit lackluster. Not previously being a fan of roguelike games – although Game Pass has provided some great experiences there as well – I initially had no plans to buy Hades. But praise was unanimous, the Epic Store gave people a $10 coupon just for downloading Rocket League for free, and it was on sale for $5 off, so I scooped it up for $10. At first, I thought I had made a mistake. I wasn't really into it. But then it slowly started to sink its hooks into me. After about 30 runs, I'd finally vanquished Hades himself. And what was your reward: a brief encounter with your mother, followed by your death and cyclical return to The Underworld. And that's really where the brilliance of Hades comes in. In beating the game, you realize you have only scratched the surface. I played around 70 more runs. I got the full story from my mother. I tried out the different weapons. I played around with the perks and heat gauge. I maxed out the relationships with almost everyone. (I never got Demeter's final few dialog options to pop.) All along the way, I kept thinking, I'll quit after I do X, but then Y and Z would egg me on even further. I spent 77 hours in that world. Sometimes, with nothing to do during the day, I'd practically play all day long. No other game this year took up that much of my time. Few ever do. Not bad for a game I initially had buyers remorse for. ASTRO's Playroom I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get a PS5 at launch. I got lucky on release day thanks to the PlayStation Direct website. (Every other retailer is a giant hunk of shit, who doesn't care if they sell to an actually gaming fan or some asshole reseller.) Had I not secured an early PS5, it wasn't a big deal. Most of the games I wanted to play were coming to PS4 as well. The baked-in ASTRO's Playroom was the only exception. And there's always that extra special feeling of playing something right when it comes out. It's funny to think that the best PS5 game is given away for free with every console, but that is just the case. Much like ASTRO BOT Rescue Mission, which did wonders for showing off what PlayStation VR could do – it was my 2018 GOTY - ASTRO's Playroom shows off what the PS5 can do, primarily via the advancements of the DualSense controller and the solid state hard drive. I've never been one to care for graphics, and the PS5 will surely evolve over time, but those two details are what makes the device feel truly “next gen” so far. The way the triggers adjust tension is so wild. I really don't know how much they'll be used, but it's a cool option to have. And loading times are practically non-existent. (I've since went back to the Xbox One for a few more Game Pass releases, and loading times feel jarring.) As far as ASTRO goes, he's a terrific mascot in an age where mascot platformers aren't really a thing anymore. The experience relies heavily on nostalgia, as you collect relics of PlayStation's past. Also scattered throughout are other bots dressed up to reference other franchises. Dozens of franchises are represented, from characters like Crash, to Ratchet, to Kutaro from Puppeteer. It's really a lovely homage to PlayStation that any longtime fan will enjoy. Plus, it's a really fun game to play, with beautiful tech themed worlds, some infectious earworms, and some cool mechanics. Japan Studio has been a bit of an enigma for a while now. But the ASOBI Team is knocking it out of the park with ASTRO. ASTRO reminds me a lot of Iota from Tearaway: they're both cute mascot characters, crafted with a lot of love, from terrifically artistic games that did an excellent job of showing off new tech. I can't wait to see what ASTRO is up to next. Filament This one sat  near the top my Steam wishlist for nearly the entire year before I finally grabbed it about a week ago when it went on sale. I love a good puzzle game. Basically, you control a bot that tethers out a string-like filament that you use to interact with pillars. Sometimes you just make sure you graze the line by one; other times you loop around one. Sometimes you're simply turning a pillar on. Other times they must be linked in pairs, by color, or a specific number of times, just to name a few of the options. That's really where Filament glows. What starts of simple grows insanely complex by the end. You'll be combining mechanics in some rather brain-busting puzzle. And the game does very little to explain things to you, or help you along the way, yet it feels very inuitive. Still, many times I simply hit walls, where I was almost convinced the puzzles were impossible. In a few instances, it took a while to understand new rule sets. Eventually I solved every single puzzle without resorting to help. And it took me about 48 hours. (Granted I think my stat tracking was probably counting some idle time where I had the game running but walked away to do stuff like make a meal.) It's a surprising amount of content for a puzzle game that can easily be reduced to: solve puzzles by drawing lines. One other thing I appreciated was that I found myself taking notes and drawing things out on paper. That's a tactic I don't pull out often, but love when a game pushes me in that direction. One instance in particular even had me cut up squares of paper to piece together one of the secret text logs. By the way, I missed a ton of those logs. After completing the few I found, I did look how to unlock the rest, and some of the stuff there was absurdly complex. There's really not a lot to compare Filament to outside of The Witness. But if you like a really challenging puzzle game with a ton of content, give this one a look. Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout I don't like online multiplayer games. They rarely hold my interest. I put quite a bit of time into Rocket League, Uncharted 2, Resistance 2 Co-op, and Fat Princess, but that's been about it. And in some of those cases, the main reason I spent a good amount of time with them is because I was unemployed during their reign. Overall, I'm not one to interact with people online. And I don't like the idea of a game dictating when I play it. But when Fall Guys was included with PlayStation Plus, I liked the look of it enough to give it a try. Getting a win took a while, but after the first one, I started to become pretty consistent with my runs. Much like Hades, I thought, “I'll just play until I get the trophy for 7 wins.” Then I set my sights on 20. Then I got hooked on collecting the costumes. By the time I'd finished my first stint in Season 1, I'd reached the max Level 30 and had every trophy except for the one requiring five wins in a row. I've given up hope there. Sony says I logged 40 hours with it, which equates to a lot of rounds. One day I went back for Season 2, and enjoyed the new levels, even though I was getting eliminated since I was sight-reading them. I don't know how much time I'll be putting in with it in the future should I find gaps in my list of games. Usually with multiplayer games, the focus fades once I unlock all the trophies I can. And I'm not sure how much time I want to dedicate to becoming proficient at future season. But the fact that Fall Guys even got that much attention from me to begin with is a testament to how much fun it is. Bugsnax Bugsnax could have been a joke. The previous game from Young Horses, Octodad: Dadliest Catch was just that: a silly romp that equated to little more than just a goofy control scheme. Bugsnax was the butt of many jokes upon reveal, reaching meme status in which it became the Schrödinger's cat of games. When someone talked about it looking good, you weren't sure if they were being honest or a hipster. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I was intrigued. It's another fine example of a list of stellar games that have been given away for free with PlayStation Plus. Would I have played it otherwise? Who knows? But I'm glad I got to. It is silly, but the silliness works in unison with what turned out to be a very fun game to play. The world and its characters are weird. Everybody has a laughable name, Filbo Fiddlepie, Chandlo Funkbun, and C. Clumby Clumbernut, just to name a few. ( I wonder what the C stands for?) The Bugsnax, which are part bug, part snacks, follow suit, with the burger inspired Bunger, the french fry spider, Fryder, or the popsickle, Bobsickle. The most delightful part is when you catch one of the bugsnax and you hear them say their name from the speaker in the controller. Hearing “Weenieworm” never got old. Any sound coming from Bunger put a smile on my face. Feeding the bugnsax to the other characters was a blast as well. Certain bugsnax resulted in sheer silliness, while combinations could provide interesting fashion statements. But past all that silliness was a fun game too. You're given a few different tools to capture bugsnax, and are sent to figure out how. By the time I was reaching the end, having done all there was to do, I was sad to see it end. It was simply a joy to platinum the game, and I'd definitely be down for more Bugsnax adventures. Ghost of Tsushima I love Sucker Punch to death. Sly Cooper is one of my favorite series. On the other hand, I've never been into the world of the samurai, or watched any samurai movies. But Sucker Punch is a studio I'm happy to support, and I figured I'd be getting a good quality game, so I was in. (Plus, I had the free time. At the time, I thought it might be my gaming binge swan song as I thought we'd be coming out of this pandemic in July. Boy was I wrong!) The world of Tsushima is breathtaking. The partnership of style and graphical fidelity creates beauty in every square inch of the world. As far as the game is concerned, it what I would expect from a AAA open world game. There are main missions, and side missions, and things to upgrade, and all kinds of places to explore. It's fairly predictable in that regard, although I did enjoy some of the ways it tackled many of those side missions. The haiku system was a relaxing alternative to combat missions. Foxes and birds always encouraged me to meander from the main missions. And shrines provides some nice platforming challenges. Combat was unique, and being about to cater it to your preferred combat style was appreciated. It did wear out its welcome a bit after dozen of hours, but I appreciate its simplicity. Still, most impressive was just that living, breathing world. I spent a lot of time in photo mode. A LOT! I could easily spend an hour or two just traveling around finding beautiful vistas to tinker around with lighting and effects. In the end, most of my complaints really just boil down to the fact that it's a large AAA game, and comes with the tropes and restrictions of the territory. Otherwise, it would be higher up the list. Ori and the Will of the Wisps Ori and the Will of the Wisps is a great game, but ultimately it's just more Ori. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It just doesn't really subvert expectations. Everything that made the first game great is here too. It looks gorgeous. It's fun to traverse and explore. But looking back, it doesn't stick out as fondly in my memory as many of the other games in this list. Some of that could be the fact that it released early in the year. It was the game I was playing when the world crapped the bed. But it could also just be that I prefer the intrigue of new IP over sequels. Even so, it's hard to discredit just how well it plays and how beautiful and rich that fantasy world is. Honorable Mentions (that released this year): Carto, Lightmatter, Swarm, Symphonia, Bartlow's Dread Machine, Doom Eternal, Control's AWE Expansion Honorable Mentions (I played that released years prior): Bomb Chicken, SUPERHYPERCUBE, Dead Cells, Moonlighter, Songbird Symphony, The Messenger, JUMPGRID, ETHEREAL, Spring Falls, Unruly Heroes, Celeste, Lonely Mountains: Downhill, Splatoon 2, My Friend Pedro, A Short Hike, Future Grind, SOMOS, A Plague Tale: Innocence, The King's Bird

[seo1code-blog]

8 Reasons You’re Not Getting Any Website Traffic - And How To Fix It

You feel as if you’ve done everything right, but your traffic numbers say otherwise.

Clearly, there’s something wrong.

Maybe you’re just a tweak or two away from opening the floodgates?

But the question remains… what is the reason behind your traffic-poor website?

Fortunately for you, you’ve come to the right place. In this post, we’ll show you legitimate possibilities why your website isn’t performing and how to fix them.

Let’s get started.

Here are eight reasons why your traffic isn’t growing.

1. Your SEO game is weak

Google is the best source of free traffic. But getting your content within the top 10 results is a tough task. Only the best of the best manage to be featured up there.

That means your content needs to be top notch. That’s the start.

But there are several other factors at play, including setting up an XML sitemap, installing an SEO plugin, optimizing your content for keyword search terms, and more.

Without all these, your chances at ranking high in search engines are slim. Just missing one important factor can result in very low rankings.

Here’s the fix

Using WordPress SEO is a multi-step process that can be difficult at first. But with a little practice, it can become second nature.

Install and configure Yoast SEO

Yoast SEO is probably the best WordPress SEO plugin. It’s easy to use and it gets the job done. To get started, install the plugin and use the configuration wizard to help you with the setup.

If you need more help, WP Beginner’s got an easy-to-follow guide.

Install Google Analytics, Search Console and an XML Sitemap

Everybody knows Google Analytics, Search Console and an XML sitemap are essential.

Google Analytics allows you to keep track of your site’s overall traffic. It’s also used to confirm your website with the Search Console.

The Search Console allows you to keep track of your search presence. And XML sitemaps provide a way for Google’s bots to read your site.

These step-by-step guides will teach you everything you need to know: The Absolute Beginner’s Guide to Google Analytics by Moz and How To Add Your Website To Google Search Console by Yoast.

Use Yoast’s On Page SEO feature to help you optimize your content

This is a neat feature that keeps your on page optimization on par.

First, it starts by asking you for your target keyword.

Then it analyzes your page and shows you how well you’ve optimized it around your keyword.

Green = good. Orange = OK. Red = bad.

Here are some other handy resources on this subject: 13 Super-Easy Ways to Immediately Improve Your SEO Rankings and 10 Things You Should Do Right Now to Improve SEO on Your Blog

2. Your backlink profile is whack

Backlinks play a key role in your search rankings.

Most pages that rank in the top three or so usually have high-quality links directing browsers to them. At the very least, their domain has heaps of authority, meaning that their link profile consists of dozens and dozens of backlinks from their industry’s best.

If you haven’t tried any link building in the past, chances are you don’t have many backlinks.

And if this is the case, that’s likely the #1 reason why you’re not getting any traffic from Google.

Here’s the fix

The best way to get started is by blog commenting. Most blogs give out no-follow links to their commenters.

No-follow links don’t really carry much link juice, which means they rarely help with your search rankings. But that doesn’t matter…

The best link profiles have a good mixture of no-follow and do-follow links.

To perfect your blog commenting technique, here are a few simple steps.

Go to one of your niche’s top blogs.

Pick a blog article you’re interested in and read it in full.

Scroll to the comments section, fill out the form and leave a quality comment.

Rinse and repeat.

But as I said… blog comment links aren’t exactly going to get you #1 rankings. You need to do better than that.

To build do-follow links, one of the best techniques is to write a guest post. Most blogs allow guest authors a link or two. Usually, one within the content and another in your author bio.

Here’s an example from one of my first guest posts. It’s from a site called Successful Blogging.

See the in-content link?

There are more in my author bio link.

Another link building strategy I’d recommend is using resource pages.

Resource pages are basically link pages. They usually have dozens of links pointing to high-quality content.

I’ve built several quality links using this method myself. Including this one from Page One Power.

Here is some further reading I think you’ll find useful:

The Ultimate Guest Blogging Guide

Resource Page Link Building: The Definitive Guide

Link Building Strategies: The Complete List

3. Your target keywords are out of your league

We all know keywords are incredibly important to search engine rankings.

However, the more times a keyword gets entered into a Google search, the more likely it becomes targeted by the very best writing in an industry. Which means it becomes 100 times harder to beat your competitors for a spot in the top 10.

Even if your content is the best, there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to achieve high rankings… the SERPs are unfair like that. They usually give the top rankings to authority websites such as Amazon, Entrepreneur and WebMD.

So if you’re targeting keywords like how to quit smoking, chances are you’ll probably never get a top 10 ranking.

Here’s the fix

You can choose to either gain authority, or target long-tail keywords.

If you want to build an authority website, you’ll need to work very hard and be very patient. Becoming an authority isn’t easy. It can take months or even years.

The type of work you’d have to do includes guest blogging, interviews, massive link building, and creating 10x content.

On the flipside, if you target long-tail keywords, which are search terms containing more than 4-5 words and are highly specific, you will have a much higher chance at driving search traffic.

I’d recommend mixing both of the two options together… target the long-tail, and while you’re at it, do everything you can to grow your authority.

For example, every time you create a blog post, make sure it’s 10x better than your competitors’.

Also, consider setting up some guest posts on your niche’s top blogs. To start, I’d suggest one guest post per month (maybe even per week).

Here’s a great post on How to Generate 20,000 Monthly Visitors Through Long-Tail Search by Neil Patel and another one on 25 Ways To Build Online Authority by Vinny La Barbera.

4. Your content isn’t worthy

Your content is the primary reason why people come to visit your blog.

If you’re only pumping out mediocre blog posts, no one will want to stop by for a read. No matter how great your marketing tactics are, if your content sucks, so will your traffic flow.

Even if you pay for your traffic… no one will stay past a hot minute.

Driving traffic is one thing. Getting them to stay, is another. And doing it on a consistent basis, that’s the million-dollar question.

Here’s the fix

It all starts with high-quality content that’ll make your readers stop and say, “I never thought of it like that before!”

Know what I’m saying?

You should be trying to write incredibly high-quality posts that are optimized for the web.

Here’s a checklist for you:

Short paragraphs

No fluff or gobbledygook

Use bold and italics for emphasis

Include plenty of images/multimedia

Include real-life data

Back up your claims with proof, sources and links

There’s a lot that goes into creating readable (not just scannable) web content.

So find the right topics. Use keyword tools to find highly-searched phrases. Take advantage of Google’s autocomplete and related searches. Explore Quora and other online communities to find questions being asked within your niche.

If you study your target audience, you will find the right topics to write about, which will then generate more traffic.

These content hacks will tell you everything you need to know: How You Can Create Content That Generates 400,000 Targeted Visitors by OK Dork and How to Create 10 x Content: Whiteboard Friday by Moz.

5. You are spending too much time CREATING and not enough PROMOTING

We all know our blogs cannot live without high-quality content.

If you consistently create a blog post every week, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll generate a nice flow of organic traffic.

However, nothing is guaranteed in the blogging world. Especially when it comes to getting fresh eyes on your content.

Have you heard of the saying, ‘publish and pray’? I first heard it from Brian Dean of Backlinko.

Basically, it means a blogger with little to no authority who publishes blog post after blog post, without any promotion, in hopes of magically driving traffic from unknown sources.

It’s like… you hit the publish button and pray someone will read it, without even knowing how that someone will find your blog post.

But the thing is, no matter how epic your content is, if you have no brand/website authority, no one will find it in a search engine or newsfeed.

That’s why you have to aggressively promote your content.

Here’s the fix

Have you ever heard of the 80/20 rule? Well, it applies to content marketing, also. Spend 80% on promotion, 20% on creation.

But how do you promote content, I hear you ask?

Well, there’s more than one way to do it, and there’s more to it than sharing it on social media.

The best way to promote your content is with a little bit of influencer marketing.

Influencer marketing is where you leverage an industry influencer’s reach or audience to gain some exposure for yourself. Which is why it’s perfect for content promotion.

I recommend reading the following resources:

How Lovers Get More Traffic with This Simple Influencer Marketing Strategy

Content Promotion Strategies: 50 Ways to Drive Traffic To Your Next Article

6. Your headlines aren’t click-worthy

If your headlines are not compelling, chances are you won’t get many clicks. No matter how well you rank in search engines or how many times you show up in social media newsfeeds.

You see, headlines are the first thing internet users see before making that ultimate decision of whether or not they want to visit your site.

If their minds tell them no, it’s on you.

It doesn’t matter how awesome your blog content is. If no one clicks it, no one sees it.

Here’s the fix

Play with a bunch of headline formulas. There are tons out there. And all you have to do is fill in the blanks, basically.

One of the easiest formulas I’ve used, which is great for list posts, is this… [number] + [adjective] + [keyword] + [promise]

Here are some examples:

21 Effective List Building Strategies That Will Triple Your Email List

99 Simple Weight Loss Tips That Could Help You Shed 50 Pounds

57 Awesome Halloween Costume Ideas That Will Scare the Crap Out of Everybody

See?

The formula can also be used to craft how-to headlines. But instead of adjectives, you use adverbs. Check it out…

How to Effectively Plan a Diet That Will Help You Eat Healthier

How to Easily Find Long-tail Keywords That Could Send You Waves of Search Traffic

How to Magically Bake Delicious Cookies Everyone Will Love

Try it for youself. If you want more information, Neil Patel has written a great Step-by-Step Guide to Writing Powerful Headlines and Audience Bloom has an inspirational resource on 101 Title Ideas for Your Next Blog Post.

7. Your website’s user experience is horrible

If you’re not consistently getting website traffic, there’s a good chance it might be because of your website’s UX.

If your site isn’t user-friendly, no one will want to visit it. No matter how great your content is.

If you publish something your audience actually wants to read, they might not even come and read it. They’ll just go to someone else for the same information.

That’s how important your user experience is.

Here’s the fix

There’s a lot that goes into a user-friendly website.

One of the main things is the loading time. If your site takes more than three seconds to fully load, you can expect your visitors to hit the ‘back’ button.

Another thing is the mobile responsiveness. A couple years ago, Google put out an update where mobile users were the focus. If your site isn’t mobile-friendly, you likely aren’t going to rank in the mobile SERPs.

Yet another thing is that Google and internet users themselves don’t like intrusive popups. The Big G actually stated in their mobile update that it is against pop-ups that block the reader from reading content (you can read more about that here).

The last thing I want to mention here is blog design. There’s a lot that goes into a well-designed blog that’ll make your visitors visit and your readers read.

So be sure to take a look at the handy links below!

10 Tips That Can Drastically Improve Your Website’s User Experience

15 Easy Ways To Speed Up WordPress

Make Your Website Mobile-friendly Now; 3 Ways

8. Your social media presence is practically non-existent

Social media has become a big part of traffic generation over the years. It’s not all about Google and search engines anymore.

So having some presence within your social communities can mean a lot to your traffic.

If you can grow a good following on networks like Twitter and LinkedIn, a single share/post can result in hundreds of website visitors.

And it’s not just the major social networks that matter. There are plenty of online communities out there that aren’t on sites like Facebook.

Take Reddit, for example. There are thousands of ‘sub-reddits’ that get thousands of followers.

There are also forums. For example, if you’re in the marketing space, there’s Warrior Forum. It has thousands of active members. Tens of thousands, even.

But if your social profiles look something like this…

…you won’t be able to get any social media or forum traffic.

Here’s the fix

Become part of a social media community. Be active and contribute.

Start by choosing one or two sites to begin with. For example, Facebook and Twitter.

For networks like Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter, you will need to fill out professional-style profiles to do it right.

Why? Because before I follow someone on Twitter, for instance, I usually take a quick peek at their profile. I read their bio and a few of their latest posts to see if there’s anything I can learn from them (or at the very least, to see if we share interests).

To be an active contributor to your chosen social media community, answer questions, provide exclusive tips/content, offer support, build rapport and commenting on other people’s posts.

After a while, you’ll start to gain some influence. When this happens, you will be able to start directing some of your group’s traffic to your own blog.

Here is a great article outlining 12 Proven Tactics for Rapidly Growing Your Presence on Social Media on Entrepreneur and another one on Sprout Social that will teach you 6 Ways to Immediately Boost Social Media Traffic.

Wrapping up

Driving traffic every day isn’t just for top-performing sites like Forbes, Authority Nutrition and TechCrunch.

Sure, it can be difficult. But with some hard work, you can get in on the action too.

You just need to master how to do it, and practice makes perfect.

Follow the great points above and dive into the resources I’ve provided. I know you’ll find they work for you.

8 Reasons You’re Not Getting Any Website Traffic - And How To Fix It

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Girls’ Last Tour 8 - 9 | Houseki no Kuni 8 - 9 | Netjuu no Susume 8 - 9 | Mahoutsukai no Yome 8 - 9 | Juuni Taisen 9 - 10

Girls’ Last Tour 8

Why do I get the feeling the girls will lose the camera soon?

I noticed the names on the drawers before the girls did. I just never mentioned it.

That snow transition to Chi was…weird…

I think at least a small part of the problem with this show is that it’s drab. Another part is that your appreciation of the show depends on how you view it as relaxing or mind-numbing when you watch it week-to-week. Yet another aspect is that it rides upon, also, your appreciation of the philosophical content that you’re allowed to wade in as part of the show.

“Pumped up” doesn’t seem to be the right word, subbers. I don’t know why (maybe context?), but I don’t feel pumped up when I see the moon. The moon, to me, would be motivating if I were in their situation, but it sure wouldn’t pump me up…

“Magic power”? Judging from the mouthflaps, the word was mahou which just translates to “magic”, and would’ve done decently here too.

Please don’t ship the lolis…

Please don’t make the lolis drunk, either…

Underage drinking! Censor it, censor it! (half-joking tone)

Huh? There’s a small after-credits segment. Keep watching…

Uhh…*thinks about a compulsive habit involving hair eating* Yeah, no thanks.

Girls’ Last Tour 9

If humans are the only living things left, what about the fi-yeah, spoke too soon.

Why did a robot want to protect a fish anyway?

Yuu has discovered the human capacity to float after kicking.

Chi’s favourite conversant is a box. A grey box. Amazing… (sarcasm dripping)

Chi has discovered the thing from One Piece known as Super Drowning Skills.

As they said in Finding Nemo, “fish are friends, not food”! Hahaha.

These robots look like something out of a Shaun Tan book, yeeps. (Didn’t see the construct-o-bot too clearly the first time he appeared.)

It’s like a mother talking to a daughter, only this time it’s in robot-speak. All 1s and 0s…

I did not come here to watch robots explode. But these robots exploding…cool! Like an action movie!

What was that last part with the robot communication circles and patterns for? I guess it made more sense with the volume on, huh…

Houseki no Kuni 8

Why do I get the ominous feeling the biting “ice floe” was Aculeatus or someone like that (and not Ventricosus, the king)?

I love how grumpy Antarc is when they’re like, “Tha failure is all mine” and they’re just holding their hand like it’s no problem. The hand really is no problem, especially in contrast to Phos, come to think of it.

It’s hard to convince someone when you literally have no hands to do it with…

“I raise my hands in defeat.” – Phos in on my level of puns. I was going to make a hand pun and then they come up with this, which is much better than what I could think up on the fly.

Notice Phos is the only colour in this winter world…

I knew gold was soft and platinum too, but…what does that have to do with-oh wait. Never mind.

It’s like something out of a horror film…it’s sheer genius.

Oh dear. It seems I’ve fallen for a sensei-only yandere. What a problem…

Hey, doesn’t this look familiar? Like a kagune, for instance?

U---uwahhhhhhhh…My boy Antarc was taken and now he’ll be Lunarian weapons…Plus with those cracks, Phos looks sadder than usual…

Huh? ED change? “Liquescimus”?...Oh, I see.

This next ep preview…is weird. Especially because you see Kongou-sensei smash his head into a wall…

Houseki no Kuni 9

When they said spring was a time for change, I’m betting they didn’t mean this…(what happened to Phos)

Interestingly, the gold looks like a rapier. Or some other old-timey sword. Then it becomes a spider lily, which is a symbol of death.

Phos’s eyes look like Antarc’s used to…plus they’ve gained a personality like theirs too.

Crying? A defect? No, no…

A bit of a mess? No, Phos, you’re more than a mess.

Phos is still wearing the old uniform, huh. Mourning clothes.

Ah, so that’s where Phos mentions it’s gold and platinum. No wonder Karandi knew…

So it’s not “with great power comes great responsibility?” Or is it just the subbers having fun?

Cinnabar seems to be a lot like Bakugo. Just without the extreme “I’ll beat you up!” stuff.

Phos’s jerk face, LOL. Haven’t seent that in a while…

Netjuu no Susume 8

I’m really unsatisfied with the fact I’ll have to say goodbye to this show in 2 episodes…It’s been my favourite for this entire season, and when the competition is strong, that means this show – with all its fluff and misunderstandings – has done itself more than enough to deserve a spot on my favourites list.

This is Netjuu no Matome (Summary of an MMO Junkie). Honestly, my translation works a lot better than CR’s this time don’tcha think?

Hayabusa (Falcon) Moving Company. Makes sense if Amazon is its RL counterpart…

…then it turns out they wrote Hayabusa backwards on the moving van (Sabuyaha). LOL wut.

The ep title seems to be “[I] took a step forward”.

Harth? Well, spoilers. You just ruined my life…sort of.

I half-expected Yuki’s hat to blow off, but hey, this is an MMO. Hats don’t blow off unless you want them to.

Notice Sakurai uses keigo.You use keigo with people you don’t really know, by the by.

Dammit! Sakurai’s hot but Harth is better! Argh, such a simple artstyle. I shouldn’t be worked up over hot guys when there’s such a simple artstyle…

The eyecatches are so good. Why would you get rid of them in this episode, of all episodes???

T-They could’ve been lying to each other, like in And You Thought There Is Never a Girl Online? ??? Gah, but this show is so sweet, I’ll forgive it.

As soon as Sakurai’s battery died, I swear I just heard The Entertainer in my head. As if it’s all some big dream I’m bearing witness to. But of course, it’s fiction. It’s basically a shared dream for the lot of us who know about it. A sweet shared dream we can access anytime.

Every time I look at that credit list and see Maeno as Harumi…yeah…not gonna think about it. But it seems double-Sakurai even got Harth as a role. Wowee, Sakurai!

Netjuu no Susume 9

One episode and one OVA to go before these guys are gone…

“I Call That Feeling Marble” – Why “marble”?

Sono Kimochi Ma-buru…so they weren’t quite lying when they said “marble”, eh? Sono Kimochi would translate to “that feeling”. However, ma-buru could be “marvel”, so it could be “I Call That Feeling [a] Marvel” (which makes a lot more sense).

I swore Morimori-chan would’ve asked to be partners! The fact that she didn’t was so disappointing…

There were some ducks drifting along in the foreground of one shot.

What happened to Harumi, come to think about it?

Is there an equivalent to TGIF in Japanese???

*Morimori-chan jumps out of chair* That’s me whenever I get a text, hahaha.

The show shows its Comico roots – that park background looks like it came out of a visual novel, which is a sort of trademark of Comico series like ReLIFE and it. Nanbaka, on the other hand…if you’ve seen it before, you’ll be aware of what that show’s visual quirk is.

So the woman’s name isn’t Sendai, but Yashiro? Okay then.

I want a Fujimoto-centric thing now. Please, someone? Do it for me?

I feel like Sakurai and Tenya Iida would be good brothers in an AU. They act in similar ways to each other.

Mahoutsukai no Yome 8

The shot to the head (Cartaphilus received) was so brief, I actually found it funny.

“This girl [Chise] has strange taste.” – Indeed, she does. But that’s why we follow her.

“But you don’t hate it, do you?”

Joseph…?

Mahoutsukai no Yome 9

(looks at shop sign when Chise sits down) Someone can’t spell “biscuits”…

How did Ruth learn the familiar binding spell anyway? Does Elias have a familiar, too? Or does he not have one since he’s part fairy?

It’s really hard to see what Elias’s monster form no. 3 (or is that no. 2?) looks like.

The humour in this show is somewhat unwarranted. It doesn’t always work, either. (I like a majorly consistent show best. Incongruous mood whiplashes don’t always work, after all.)

Is it Silver or Silky? I still don’t understand…

These roses must mean something in flower language…

Apparently there used to be an old trend of lesbian vampires. It’s a pretty old-fashioned trope, so it feels quite at home here. Update: Scratch that, a Leanan Sidhe is apparently more of a succubus, which was the exact vibe I was getting from her. Lesbian succubi? That’s a new concept.

That dragon!!!

Juuni Taisen 9

I think I’ve seen some spoilers saying Rabbit dies. I already knew everyone bar one *eyes Rat* will die anyway, but the game is in seeing how they die.

Were CGI models the best for this moment? Probably not, but there was some good movement from Usagi there.

Did you notice the shining light when Ox repositioned his sword (after he jumped)?

100-person…that reminds me of the SekaTsuyo “Hundred Throws” thing, but please don’t talk to me about SekaTsuyo…

Of course Kanae’s backstory has drinking in it. Her tagline has to do with “drunken rage”…(half-sarcastic)

Hey, this episode is titled after Rabbit. Isin’s genre-breaking strikes again. Also the scribbles on the faces is a nice touch, but not as good as the marionettes from Rampo Kitan.

I swear they’re relying on CGI models for the Ox and Tiger in this episode...

I’d like to headcanon Eiji is good at soccer. Not as the Ox, but just as himself.

Well, “CGI models” was definitely true right there when the Tatsumi bros attacked.

Those ice effects got put to good use, at least.

If you sit a bit of a distance from the screen, you can see they really are CGI models, the Ox and the Tiger. Graphinica’s really pulling out the stops – after all, didn’t they just say “don’t do what you’re unused to doing”?

Juuni Taisen 10

*as some insigificant sniper falls to his death* Yeah, let’s ignore the bad quality of that…

Dangit, Ushii hasn’t been given a birth year! No, why Isin??? Why??? (But does Kanae use Chrome on her iPad?)

Slicing the bridge is a bit much, y’know, Ushii - even for my suspension of belief.

Who knew a stab to the heart could be more touching than any other death in this show? Maybe it’s a stab…to my feels. (You’re all groaning now, aren’t you?)

So…no explanation for home boy Usagi, then?

I think two of the kanji from “To Treat A Man Beef From His Own Cow” (the title, not the episode) are from Gobouken (the name of Ushii’s sword, and the name also means “bayonet”), which is interesting.

[makeitwithmike]

8 Reasons You’re Not Getting Any Website Traffic (And How To Fix It)

By Julian Sakanee

It’s tough.

You feel as if you’ve done everything right, but your traffic numbers say otherwise.

Clearly, there’s something wrong.

Maybe you’re just a tweak or two away from opening the floodgates?

But the question remains… what is the reason behind your traffic-poor website?

Fortunately for you, you’ve come to the right place. In this post, we’ll show you legitimate possibilities why your website isn’t performing and how to fix them.

Let’s get started.

Here are eight reasons why your traffic isn’t growing.

1. Your SEO game is weak

Google is the best source of free traffic. But getting your content within the top 10 results is a tough task. Only the best of the best manage to be featured up there.

That means your content needs to be top notch. That’s the start.

But there are several other factors at play, including setting up an XML sitemap, installing an SEO plugin, optimizing your content for keyword search terms, and more.

Without all these, your chances at ranking high in search engines are slim. Just missing one important factor can result in very low rankings.

Here’s the fix

Using WordPress SEO is a multi-step process that can be difficult at first. But with a little practice, it can become second nature.

Install and configure Yoast SEO

Yoast SEO is probably the best WordPress SEO plugin. It’s easy to use and it gets the job done. To get started, install the plugin and use the configuration wizard to help you with the setup.

If you need more help, WP Beginner’s got an easy-to-follow guide.

Install Google Analytics, Search Console and an XML Sitemap

Everybody knows Google Analytics, Search Console and an XML sitemap are essential.

Google Analytics allows you to keep track of your site’s overall traffic. It’s also used to confirm your website with the Search Console.

The Search Console allows you to keep track of your search presence. And XML sitemaps provide a way for Google’s bots to read your site.

These step-by-step guides will teach you everything you need to know: The Absolute Beginner’s Guide to Google Analytics by Moz and How To Add Your Website To Google Search Console by Yoast.

Use Yoast’s On Page SEO feature to help you optimize your content

This is a neat feature that keeps your on page optimization on par.

First, it starts by asking you for your target keyword.

Then it analyzes your page and shows you how well you’ve optimized it around your keyword.

Green = good. Orange = OK. Red = bad.

Here are some other handy resources on this subject: 13 Super-Easy Ways to Immediately Improve Your SEO Rankings and 10 Things You Should Do Right Now to Improve SEO on Your Blog

2. Your backlink profile is whack

Backlinks play a key role in your search rankings.

Most pages that rank in the top three or so usually have high-quality links directing browsers to them. At the very least, their domain has heaps of authority, meaning that their link profile consists of dozens and dozens of backlinks from their industry’s best.

If you haven’t tried any link building in the past, chances are you don’t have many backlinks.

And if this is the case, that’s likely the #1 reason why you’re not getting any traffic from Google.

Here’s the fix

The best way to get started is by blog commenting. Most blogs give out no-follow links to their commenters.

No-follow links don’t really carry much link juice, which means they rarely help with your search rankings. But that doesn’t matter…

The best link profiles have a good mixture of no-follow and do-follow links.

To perfect your blog commenting technique, here are a few simple steps.

Go to one of your niche’s top blogs.

Pick a blog article you’re interested in and read it in full.

Scroll to the comments section, fill out the form and leave a quality comment.

Rinse and repeat.

But as I said… blog comment links aren’t exactly going to get you #1 rankings. You need to do better than that.

To build do-follow links, one of the best techniques is to write a guest post. Most blogs allow guest authors a link or two. Usually, one within the content and another in your author bio.

Here’s an example from one of my first guest posts. It’s from a site called Successful Blogging.

See the in-content link?

There are more in my author bio link.

Another link building strategy I’d recommend is using resource pages.

Resource pages are basically link pages. They usually have dozens of links pointing to high-quality content.

I’ve built several quality links using this method myself. Including this one from Page One Power.

Here is some further reading I think you’ll find useful:

The Ultimate Guest Blogging Guide

Resource Page Link Building: The Definitive Guide

Link Building Strategies: The Complete List

3. Your target keywords are out of your league

We all know keywords are incredibly important to search engine rankings.

However, the more times a keyword gets entered into a Google search, the more likely it becomes targeted by the very best writing in an industry. Which means it becomes 100 times harder to beat your competitors for a spot in the top 10.

Even if your content is the best, there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to achieve high rankings… the SERPs are unfair like that. They usually give the top rankings to authority websites such as Amazon, Entrepreneur and WebMD.

So if you’re targeting keywords like how to quit smoking, chances are you’ll probably never get a top 10 ranking.

Here’s the fix

You can choose to either gain authority, or target long-tail keywords.

If you want to build an authority website, you’ll need to work very hard and be very patient. Becoming an authority isn’t easy. It can take months or even years.

The type of work you’d have to do includes guest blogging, interviews, massive link building, and creating 10x content.

On the flipside, if you target long-tail keywords, which are search terms containing more than 4-5 words and are highly specific, you will have a much higher chance at driving search traffic.

I’d recommend mixing both of the two options together… target the long-tail, and while you’re at it, do everything you can to grow your authority.

For example, every time you create a blog post, make sure it’s 10x better than your competitors’.

Also, consider setting up some guest posts on your niche’s top blogs. To start, I’d suggest one guest post per month (maybe even per week).

Here’s a great post on How to Generate 20,000 Monthly Visitors Through Long-Tail Search by Neil Patel and another one on 25 Ways To Build Online Authority by Vinny La Barbera.

4. Your content isn’t worthy

Your content is the primary reason why people come to visit your blog.

If you’re only pumping out mediocre blog posts, no one will want to stop by for a read. No matter how great your marketing tactics are, if your content sucks, so will your traffic flow.

Even if you pay for your traffic… no one will stay past a hot minute.

Driving traffic is one thing. Getting them to stay, is another. And doing it on a consistent basis, that’s the million-dollar question.

Here’s the fix

It all starts with high-quality content that’ll make your readers stop and say, “I never thought of it like that before!”

Know what I’m saying?

You should be trying to write incredibly high-quality posts that are optimized for the web.

Here’s a checklist for you:

Short paragraphs

No fluff or gobbledygook

Use bold and italics for emphasis

Include plenty of images/multimedia

Include real-life data

Back up your claims with proof, sources and links

There’s a lot that goes into creating readable (not just scannable) web content.

So find the right topics. Use keyword tools to find highly-searched phrases. Take advantage of Google’s autocomplete and related searches. Explore Quora and other online communities to find questions being asked within your niche.

If you study your target audience, you will find the right topics to write about, which will then generate more traffic.

These content hacks will tell you everything you need to know: How You Can Create Content That Generates 400,000 Targeted Visitors by OK Dork and How to Create 10 x Content: Whiteboard Friday by Moz.

5. You are spending too much time CREATING and not enough PROMOTING

We all know our blogs cannot live without high-quality content.

If you consistently create a blog post every week, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll generate a nice flow of organic traffic.

However, nothing is guaranteed in the blogging world. Especially when it comes to getting fresh eyes on your content.

Have you heard of the saying, ‘publish and pray’? I first heard it from Brian Dean of Backlinko.

Basically, it means a blogger with little to no authority who publishes blog post after blog post, without any promotion, in hopes of magically driving traffic from unknown sources.

It’s like… you hit the publish button and pray someone will read it, without even knowing how that someone will find your blog post.

But the thing is, no matter how epic your content is, if you have no brand/website authority, no one will find it in a search engine or newsfeed.

That’s why you have to aggressively promote your content.

Here’s the fix

Have you ever heard of the 80/20 rule? Well, it applies to content marketing, also. Spend 80% on promotion, 20% on creation.

But how do you promote content, I hear you ask?

Well, there’s more than one way to do it, and there’s more to it than sharing it on social media.

The best way to promote your content is with a little bit of influencer marketing.

Influencer marketing is where you leverage an industry influencer’s reach or audience to gain some exposure for yourself. Which is why it’s perfect for content promotion.

I recommend reading the following resources:

How Lovers Get More Traffic with This Simple Influencer Marketing Strategy

Content Promotion Strategies: 50 Ways to Drive Traffic To Your Next Article

6. Your headlines aren’t click-worthy

If your headlines are not compelling, chances are you won’t get many clicks. No matter how well you rank in search engines or how many times you show up in social media newsfeeds.

You see, headlines are the first thing internet users see before making that ultimate decision of whether or not they want to visit your site.

If their minds tell them no, it’s on you.

It doesn’t matter how awesome your blog content is. If no one clicks it, no one sees it.

Here’s the fix

Play with a bunch of headline formulas. There are tons out there. And all you have to do is fill in the blanks, basically.

One of the easiest formulas I’ve used, which is great for list posts, is this… [number] + [adjective] + [keyword] + [promise]

Here are some examples:

21 Effective List Building Strategies That Will Triple Your Email List

99 Simple Weight Loss Tips That Could Help You Shed 50 Pounds

57 Awesome Halloween Costume Ideas That Will Scare the Crap Out of Everybody

See?

The formula can also be used to craft how-to headlines. But instead of adjectives, you use adverbs. Check it out…

How to Effectively Plan a Diet That Will Help You Eat Healthier

How to Easily Find Long-tail Keywords That Could Send You Waves of Search Traffic

How to Magically Bake Delicious Cookies Everyone Will Love

Try it for youself. If you want more information, Neil Patel has written a great Step-by-Step Guide to Writing Powerful Headlines and Audience Bloom has an inspirational resource on 101 Title Ideas for Your Next Blog Post.

7. Your website’s user experience is horrible

If you’re not consistently getting website traffic, there’s a good chance it might be because of your website’s UX.

If your site isn’t user-friendly, no one will want to visit it. No matter how great your content is.

If you publish something your audience actually wants to read, they might not even come and read it. They’ll just go to someone else for the same information.

That’s how important your user experience is.

Here’s the fix

There’s a lot that goes into a user-friendly website.

One of the main things is the loading time. If your site takes more than three seconds to fully load, you can expect your visitors to hit the ‘back’ button.

Another thing is the mobile responsiveness. A couple years ago, Google put out an update where mobile users were the focus. If your site isn’t mobile-friendly, you likely aren’t going to rank in the mobile SERPs.

Yet another thing is that Google and internet users themselves don’t like intrusive popups. The Big G actually stated in their mobile update that it is against pop-ups that block the reader from reading content (you can read more about that here).

The last thing I want to mention here is blog design. There’s a lot that goes into a well-designed blog that’ll make your visitors visit and your readers read.

So be sure to take a look at the handy links below!

10 Tips That Can Drastically Improve Your Website’s User Experience

15 Easy Ways To Speed Up WordPress

Make Your Website Mobile-friendly Now; 3 Ways

8. Your social media presence is practically non-existent

Social media has become a big part of traffic generation over the years. It’s not all about Google and search engines anymore.

So having some presence within your social communities can mean a lot to your traffic.

If you can grow a good following on networks like Twitter and LinkedIn, a single share/post can result in hundreds of website visitors.

And it’s not just the major social networks that matter. There are plenty of online communities out there that aren’t on sites like Facebook.

Take Reddit, for example. There are thousands of ‘sub-reddits’ that get thousands of followers.

There are also forums. For example, if you’re in the marketing space, there’s Warrior Forum. It has thousands of active members. Tens of thousands, even.

But if your social profiles look something like this…

…you won’t be able to get any social media or forum traffic.

Here’s the fix

Become part of a social media community. Be active and contribute.

Start by choosing one or two sites to begin with. For example, Facebook and Twitter.

For networks like Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter, you will need to fill out professional-style profiles to do it right.

Why? Because before I follow someone on Twitter, for instance, I usually take a quick peek at their profile. I read their bio and a few of their latest posts to see if there’s anything I can learn from them (or at the very least, to see if we share interests).

To be an active contributor to your chosen social media community, answer questions, provide exclusive tips/content, offer support, build rapport and commenting on other people’s posts.

After a while, you’ll start to gain some influence. When this happens, you will be able to start directing some of your group’s traffic to your own blog.

Here is a great article outlining 12 Proven Tactics for Rapidly Growing Your Presence on Social Media on Entrepreneur and another one on Sprout Social that will teach you 6 Ways to Immediately Boost Social Media Traffic.

Wrapping up

Driving traffic every day isn’t just for top-performing sites like Forbes, Authority Nutrition and TechCrunch.

Sure, it can be difficult. But with some hard work, you can get in on the action too.

You just need to master how to do it, and practice makes perfect.

Follow the great points above and dive into the resources I’ve provided. I know you’ll find they work for you.

Guest Author: Julian Sakanee has been in the online marketing game for over three years. He spends most of his time ‘on the field’ finding the best marketing strategies so that he can share them with people like you. You can find him over at Blogging Aid where he publishes most of his work, or on social media: LinkedIn | Twitter | Facebook.

The post 8 Reasons You’re Not Getting Any Website Traffic (And How To Fix It) appeared first on Jeffbullas’s Blog.

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