Ya know, as someone who suffers from a physical disability myself who read your recent post, i'm sorta curious for more details on how both Scalene and Bill viewed their shared condition. Scalene in particular, by your post, seems to have had a weird combination of pride in it (how it made her exotic and all) but also, being ashamed of mentioning it and going out of her way to medically correct it in her own child...How would you describe her, and, for that matter, Bill's, feelings?
(For anyone arriving late, this is a follow up on this post here.)
You know how some disabilities end up with a public perception where they're adored for certain "positive" aspects but people still don't understand (and are ableist about) the less positive aspects? Like how depression is romantic when it's "brood romantically like a goth heroine" but gross when it's "can't get out of bed, shower, or meet social obligations"; autism is cute when it's "hand-flapping stimming and getting super interested in a topic" but annoying when it's "noisy stimming & body rocking, won't stop talking about a topic I'm not interested in, and poor social skills"; or the face of albinism is "supermodel with porcelain skin, snow white hair, and crystal blue eyes" and never "cross-eyed sunburned dude perpetually squinting in the sunlight"?
I imagine that her condition is like that, and that she zealously latched onto the positive perception of her condition and worked that for all it's worth; but she wants to be perfect, she wants to be admirable, she wants to be beloved, so the parts of her condition that aren't "popular" have to get hidden and dealt with privately as much as possible. The pageant stage is for showing off her curves; standing funny to try to relieve her side pain is for when people aren't watching.
It's okay to have a disability, but god forbid you look disabled.
Though I wouldn't characterize the medical treatment she got for Bill "going out of her way" to try to correct it. For the most part, things like braces & physical therapy weren't for aesthetics or public perception, but actual quality of life improvements. Without that early intervention, he'd be dealing with serious chronic pain & mobility issues before adulthood.
It's like how if you have significant scoliosis as a child, wearing a back brace during your puberty growing years helps protect you from getting such a crooked back as an adult that you need spinal surgery for the pain. Even if you have no negative feelings about having scoliosis, avoiding a major invasive surgery in 30 years is probably a sound medical decision.
... It just turned out with Bill that more benign issues got swept in with the actual problems.
For Bill's part, the condition is something he'd been led to believe as a child would be a much bigger problem in his life than it ended up being. For one thing, the way the condition presented in him made him a squishy baby, but not as flexible as his mom as an adult. (Though she also worked to increase her flexibility, against every single doctor's advice ever.) And for another, he got turned into an energy being more or less at peak health, after all his childhood medical interventions did their job and before his condition inevitably started to decline in adulthood; and when he doesn't age, doesn't change, doesn't even have a physical body, the condition doesn't progress. He got the best possible outcome, and he feels weird about it.
He'd never claim he's unhappy to not be dealing with chronic pain—that'd be a dumb thing to be unhappy about, and anyway Bill is sooo happy and mentally healthy and nothing ever bothers him ever!!!—but, unspoken, he has a strange sense of loss around it. Another thing missing from the life he "should" have had. Caught in a perpetual limbo where Health Problems™ are always looming 10-15 years in front of him, and have been looming 10-15 years in front of him for a trillion years.
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I haven't done one of these kind of posts in a while, but the expressions in Rebirth were top notch, and I wanted to talk a bit about and analyze Sephiroth's different smiles, both pre and post Nibelheim.
Nibelheim itself is difficult to gauge, because SOLDIER Cloud is actually Zack, and furthermore, some of it is definitely his own wishful thinking. But one thing you can say for sure, is that they portray that Sephiroth, despite being so emotionally weary, still summons up the energy to smile at his friend.
As soon as he turns away from Zack, his smile falls, and he doesn't give one to the Mayor at all.
However, when he turns back to inform the men that they're free until sundown, he summons up another smile for them. I don't think that he's just attempting to keep their morale up, he genuinely has affection for Zack, and cares for the others. He respects them for their service, putting their lives on the line for what they think is a good cause, and Sephiroth—as we saw in Ever Crisis—learned to be a compassionate person, who cares about the lives of others, even enemies.
Of course, he's deeply distressed during this time, the despair is eating him alive. Even Cloud acknowledges(despite having not known Sephiroth on a personal level) that he just wasn't himself once they arrived. But I'm not going to talk about my theories on all the Jenova stuff right now, that's not the focus here. Even at the window, you can tell he's feeling off, but when he turns to Zack, he attempts to smile again.
Sephiroth has never enjoyed his fame, and as we learned in Ever Crisis, he didn't choose it; Shinra made up bogus achievements and declared him to be a hero before even his first field assignment, as part of their recruitment campaign. Can't argue with results, I guess—it certainly got Cloud to join up out of hero worship, right? In EC, Sephiroth admits that all he ever wanted was to be normal, something that he knows he can never have. How sad...
So when this man wants to take his picture, it's no wonder that he's over it by then, and tells him no. And rather politely, too, all things considered. But even before that, he smiles and tells Zack that as long as he does his job, their young tourguide will be safe.
But as soon as he turns his back and walks away? Yeah, that smile immediately fades.
Which certainly doesn't change when the guy takes his picture. But of course, when Zack asks Sephiroth to pose for one, he just can't say no, even though he's not super happy about it. Anyway, he continues to smile at Zack for the duration of their journey up Mt. Nibel, making an effort to talk and even cracking a couple jokes, just trying to be a good leader and keep them in good spirits.
And of course, there's the very sad bridge part, where you can tell that he's genuinely upset that he failed to save the other infantryman that got washed away. He searches for him, but comes up empty-handed. Still, he smiles for Zack and teases him about a performance assessment, since their morale is quite low now, but they need to keep going.
Honestly, the Nibelheim part of Rebirth really did an excellent job of portraying Sephiroth's inner struggle. For reference, there are only 3 points in Remake, I think, when Sephiroth drops his ever-present, sometimes affectionate(towards Cloud) and often unhinged, smile:
First, it's replaced with sheer rage as he kills President Shinra.
Second time, is when Aerith has a Cetra moment and suggests that his entire existence is "wrong".
And the third time is when he holds out his hand to Cloud at the Edge of Creation, and is rejected by him.
Anyway, back to Rebirth. Ignoring the bizarre smiles he showed us as Nibelheim was burning, as if he was in a trance and just not all there(that's a subject for a different chat), post-Nibelheim Sephiroth's smiles are interesting, too, if we consider what kind they are, depending on who he's dealing with.
For people he hates, like Tseng, it's much more unhinged looking, and very cold. You can tell there's a certain measure of satisfaction from shanking him, haha...
For someone like Aerith, who...I wouldn't exactly say that he hates her, but she's definitely in the way. I would almost say that he considers her to be actively preventing Cloud from recovering his true memories, leading him to remain as merely Sephiroth's "puppet", but that's a theory for another day. He looks at her coldly, as well, but it's a bit different. There's a bit more respect there than there was for Tseng.
And then there's Zack. Actual Zack. I feel like, deep down, he still cares about him, and has no intention of killing him. I almost sense a little...regret? Maybe? Hm. It's definitely a bit warmer of a smile. And of course, although he had many opportunities to get rid of Zack, he doesn't. Instead, he sends him off into the space between worlds safely.
And of course, last but certainly not least, is the way he smiles at Cloud. I know, I know. "But Sane, you like sefikura, so you're biased!" Look, I won't deny that. However, when you really look at it and compare his smiles, which is what this is all about, his truest smiles are always saved for Cloud. He has 2 different "flavors": pure affection and cruel affection. (There are also a few pity smiles, I think.) The former is used most of the time, whenever Cloud is in his sight, and the latter is used during moments when he's trying to control/influence him. I would almost say that he's...satisfied, yet regretful at the same time?? Like these:
And now, let's contrast that with his more genuine, affectionate smiles for Cloud... (The first shot here ⬇ can be contrasted with the shot 2 up from the bottom there ⬆, as the one above is when he's calling Cloud his puppet, and the one below is when Cloud goes to attack him and he opens his arms wider for the incoming uh...embrace.)
Remake had many interesting smiles from him, too, but that will have to be a different post, as this already has 30 screenshots. Anywho, you're free to draw your own conclusions, and not everyone reads faces in the same way, so maybe I'm nuts. Who knows? Either way, I hope you enjoyed this random, indulgent, very long post, haha. If you made it to the end, you're awesome. 💕
All screenshots were taken by me on my PS5. I won't ask for credit on them, since literally anyone can take an identical shot if they pause at the right second. (The exception are the 3 Remake shots, which were taken on PC with mods and the freecam. For those, I would appreciate credit if you use them anywhere, since I don't watermark them.)
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I am super nervous for the next season of 911. Like I don’t dislike Tommy but I also don’t like super love him either and I. Am. Nervous.
I agree with you about Tommy - I'm relatively neutral about him as a character.
I also don't tend to be someone who makes predictions much at all - I'd rather just be surprised.
I will say though, the fact that there has been little said about Tommy and little promotion of the Buck x Tommy pairing (it has been mentioned, but not as much as Buck and Eddie's friendship/relationship), makes me lean toward the belief that Buck x Tommy is likely short term.
But, as a Buddie shipper I am also aware that I could just be seeing what I'd really like to see in the promotional material we've had so far... shrugs.
I am excited about a lot of other things for this season though!
Seeing how the 118 manages with Gerrard (don't want him around for long, but interested to see how this affects all the characters and how they, hopefully, lean on each other to cope)
I want to see calls again! And the 118 working as a team during emergencies.
I want to see silly chatter in the fire engine and family meals!
I want ridiculous calls, and weird calls, and humorous calls!
They've been open about Eddie going on journey to discover himself, who he is without Chris, just as 'Eddie,' and I am so here for that!
I want some sweet moments between Hen and Karen and Chim and Maddie as the navigate the situation with Mara
I am honestly kind of thrilled with the whole 'bee-nado' situation because it is so implausible that it makes me giggle, but the fall out has so much potential for drama and action
Bobby as a technical advisor on 'Hot Shots' has so much comedy potential and I cannot wait to see it
That's a lot to be excited about I think!
One of the things I love about 911, is that yes, it brought me Buddie and I love them and I hope we are fortunate enough to get to watch them become canon. And that could possible happen this season.
But I don't love the show just because of Buddie.
I love all of the 118.
I love Chim and his devotion to Maddie and the power of their story, a story about finding a new love, building a better, stronger relationship with someone you truly love and trust and you loves and trusts and respect you back.
I love Hen and Karen and the endless pool of love they have for Denny, Mara and all the foster children who have come into their lives over the seasons. Those ladies have so much smarts between them they just knocked me over with it sometimes.
I love Bobby and his journey of redemption. The difficult path he has been walking to feel he actually deserves happiness in his life. I adore how he and Athena fell in love, and yet their past loves have never been dismissed, ignored or demeaned for their current love story.
(I will also miss the Bobby and Michael shenanigans -both the healthiest and yet most chaotic relationship between the 'new' husband and the ex-husband I have ever had the pleasure to witness).
Even though I don't always agree with Athena's choices, I would want her on my side, fighting beside be because that woman is fierce and she does not back down from a fight.
I love Eddie and his giant heart that he is always simultaneously giving freely to everyone and yet hiding away at every turn. As a fellow parent, I admire his amazing parenting skills and his trust and respect he has built with Christopher. If they aren't able to build back that trust in their relationship this season it will truly break my heart.
I left Buck for last, because he is my favourite. He has such a big heart and hardly any sense of self worth and all of that is wrapped up in this infectious energy that I simply cannot resist. I cannot wait to hear more Buck facts, his childlike energy about topics he's passionate about make me smile so much. I want the world for that man. (I also really enjoy him battered and bruised and covered in blood, but that says more about me that about Buck...)
In conclusion, I love 911!
Yes, I watch partly for Buddie, but I love the show as a whole. And I think we have a lot to look forward to, especially with a full season that, hopefully, won't feel rushed.
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broken vows, broken horns
"Leave, and never come back. If you ever set foot in this city again, you're dead, you hear me?" He spits in Val's direction before turning away, muttering under his breath, "Traitorous little devil."
This is a little glimpse into Val's past, back when they were 17.
When I made Val's tattoos, one of the other players said that the snake motif reminded them of gang tattoos where the symbol of the gang is repeated across the body. That planted the seed for Val's backstory in my head. And even more perfectly, I had already decided weeks ago that the reason Val is never seen without their captain's hat is that their horns had been broken many years ago.
But why would breaking of horns matter? Oh, of course. It's an all-tiefling gang! And broken horns is a sign to anyone who knows the gang/criminal underworld that "this person is not to be trusted, do not let them join your crew".
So I ended up with a tiefling gang called the Horned Serpents, and decided to place them in the port city of Xen, where Val will be taking the party after rescuing Rook. This would explain why Val hadn't been there in years (15 to be precise), and thus allow the DM to surprise me with whatever is going on there.
Unbeknownst to me, Xen and the surrounding area has a... complicated history with the Hells, and already is wary of tieflings. So it makes perfect sense that the tieflings there would band together, especially if they were already ostracized. (Yay for accidental mind-reading!)
Val was basically raised by the Serpents, but they are too kind, too good a person to be complicit in gang violence for long. So when they were offered the chance, they became an informer, leading to the gang's dismantling and downfall. But some of the surviving/escaped members discovered Val's treachery and came after them, beating them and breaking off their horns. And, of course, delivering the warning to never return to Xen.
Val fled and never looked back. For 15 years they've sailed all around the continent, but never docked in Xen. But if returning there is what it takes to save the life of one of their passengers, they'll do it.
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