#i'm going to all seven hells

[yzeltia]

Year of the Drake: Halflight

August: Vampire AU Characters: U'rahn Nuhn, @driftward 's Nyx Blackmoon, Alphinaud Leveilleur, Varshan, Ameliance Leveileur, Bahamut (sorta), Tiamat (sorta), G'raha Tia Rating: T for Twilight Notes:

U'rahn wiped his brow as he laid out on his bed, sweat dripping off his aching body. Fulfilling his duties as a Nuhn had left him exhausted. He'd lost track of just how long it'd been since the huntresses had left him alone long enough to leave the village, or his house for that matter. Fumbling for his linkpearl, he pushed it into his ear then reached out to Nyx.

"This is Blackmoon," his partner answered.

"Hey, it's Rahn."

"Your breathing sounds labored. Are you in need of aid?"

"No. I just missed your voice."

"Then this call is not an approved use of Gage Acquisitions' property. I am ending the call."

U'rahn blinked as the line went dead. Immediately after his tomestone rang. Sitting up, he pawed for the device until getting it in his hand.

"Uh. Hello?"

"If you are missing my voice, I can program the Nyx mammet with more phrases to comfort you when we are apart," Nyx answered from the other side. 

"I could just call too…"

"My duties require me to be unavailable at times. Your calls do take precedence though if I know you are in a potentially dangerous situation."

"That's good to know…Ah. Then can you talk now?"

"We are already talking, Rahn."

"Right Right. Well, I dunno what to say really. I miss you and as soon as the huntresses are through with me we'll go on an adventure. Maybe Thavnair for more spicy food."

"That will be enriching."

"Right…"

"..."

"Ah. You know, I can't remember the last time I told you a story -"

"Precisely one month ago."

"One month!? I've been in my house for a whole month!?"

"Correct. The huntresses seem to be using their time with you efficiently to meet their output goals before your next adventure”

"It's been a blur. I can't believe we've not been together for a month…"

"I have visited you."

"Huh? When!?"

"I've watched you sleep many times and have provided fruits and fish rich with vitamins and minerals to keep you healthy since you have been unable to leave the village."

"Oh. I thought the huntresses brought me those. Wow, thanks! I wish you woke me up though."

"It has been a futile effort. I also enjoy the contortions of your face when you are dreaming."

"Ah. Hopefully I don't do something embarrassing."

"I believe many instances you would classify as such; however, they are safe as a source of my personal enrichment and I have committed them to memory."

"Geeze," U'rahn whined, hunkering down into his bed, covering his face with a pillow, "Will you come visit me?"

"I cannot. I am taking time to run maintenance on myself and that has left me immobile."

"Aw. You could have done that here."

"I could not."

"..."

"..."

"Why not?"

"The Forgotten Springs do not have the required power sources for me to use my equipment. It would also be burdensome to relocate my belongings."

"Oh…but I'm lonely without you."

"That will pass. You are without me often."

"I guess. Still, I wish you were here to help stave off boredom."

"Your presence here would also be enriching for me. We; however, are able to speak to one another. A storytale might fulfill your needs for companionship and provide us ample entertainment while we are more or less trapped by our current circumstances.”

“Well, okay…I don’t have a lot of energy, but I think I have something. There once…”

I’m just like any other Elezen. I was never really remarkable. I made good grades, and I was popular, but I always considered myself very plain. My father had remarried to an adventurer and had left on a journey with them and my sister. I decided to move in with my mother in Spoons, a small island between the Northern Empty and Dravania. I didn’t expect to fall in love…and I didn’t expect to die for that person either.

“Now, Bell, if anyone gives you trouble, you let me know,” my mother sighed. Being the local sheriff,  she was rather protective.

I grimaced, not wanting to be doted on. Still, I thanked her and made my way to my new school, reassuring her that I’d be fine on my own. There, a mammet took me to my first class, where I was introduced by the professor there.

“Everyone, this is Bellphinaud Lemur. They’ve transferred here from Ul’dah. Why don’t you tell us about yourself?”

I stiffened, hating this sort of thing despite being rather adept at it, “Hi. I go by Bell. I’m not exactly new to Spoons, but I’ve never been around enough to really make friends here.”

All eyes were on me. Everyone seemed to hang on my every word, though I didn’t really say anything impressive. All except an Auri boy sitting by the window, looking as if he was recoiling from my presence. His red eyes were narrowed. 

“There’s an open seat next to Varsean. Why don't you join him," the Professor suggested.

I did as I was told, moving to the seat beside him, his red eyes piercing me as he recoiled away from me, as if repulsed by my presence. I couldn't help but rub my nose into my jacket, worried I was somehow offensive but smelling naught more than soap.

Class passed quickly and people seemed to flock to me despite being wholly uninteresting. I hoped the novelty of my newness would wear off but I ended up being pulled to a rather populous table. I stuck my head in a book to avoid further interrogation about my life pre-Spoons.

As I read to myself, I looked up briefly, finding myself staring at the most beautiful people I'd ever seen come sauntering in, two couples and Varsean behind them. Leaning over I interrupted one of my new acquaintances, M'raha, before he could bite into his hamburger, "Who are they?"

"The Coolens. They are rather popular, but keep to themselves. Dr. Coolen adopted them and moved them here a few years ago. They're coupled up which is a bit odd given their legal relationship. The hulking one is Bauhemmett and the exceptionally pretty girl hanging off him is Tiamatie. The other girl is Alnyx and her boyfriend is J'rahnsper."

"And then Varsean."

"Yes, the enigma. Everyone fancies him but he keeps to himself."

I nodded, briefly making eye contact with the other. He quickly stood up then removed himself from the room, glancing back at me, focused, before hurrying away.

"You still with me Nyx," U'rahn asked, having not heard the other for a time.

"Yes."

"Okay. Just making sure. This first person thing is kind of hard and I'm usually telling you about a much more expressive protagonist and beautiful love interest."

"Yes, though, there are hints that you've not quite let that archetype go. "

"The main couple is way different though!"

"Yes. That is correct."

"Good, just making sure it was clear and stuff."

I didn't see Varsean again for a week after my first day. Apparently it wasn't unusual for a Coolen to take a few days off here and there. When he came back though, he was like a different man. Reunited in Science, Varsean, sat closer to me, offering his book as we prepared for an aether experiment.

"Apologies for my rudeness the other day."

It took me a moment to realize he was talking to me. I'd wanted to ask him what his problem was, but my curiosity shut down as he moved closer, taking one of the crystals to attune to.

"Umbral," he stated.

"May I check," I asked. 

His large hand soon went over mine. I shuddered, feeling a strange electricity from his cold touch. I recoiled slowly, noting something…abnormal about the stoney coolness of his skin.

" It's umbral," I agreed, sensing the aetheric polarity soon after.

A strange heat crept across my cheeks as I felt his eyes on me. He smiled then leaned back as I took the next crystal.

"Astral…," I stated cautiously, "is there a particular reason you're watching me?"

"We are partners. May I," he asked, holding out his hand for crystal, eyes smiling at me.

I placed it in his hand, avoiding his gaze. Being looked at in such a way, it made me nervous. He toyed with the crystal in his palm for a moment before agreeing with my findings. 

"I didn't properly introduce myself before. I'm Varsean Coolen. And you're Bellphinaud, the sheriff's son."

"I prefer Bell."

"Bell it is."

We finished well before the rest of the students. This left Varsean able to integrate me as he pleased. I wasn't used to having someone hanging on my every word. It would be flattering if his gaze wasn't making my heart race.

I left quickly, though politely, as the bell rang.

"Rahn," Nyx interrupted, "Our time will be cut short. Summarize the story for me."

"Okay okay. So uh. Yeah…um…Bellphinaud keeps finding Varsean starin' at him and being aggressive then sweet until one day Bell is almost hit by a chocobo cart and about shatters it. And uh, Bell's childhood friend comes along and is like "don't trust that guy". 

Bell then goes and looks up all this stuff and figures out that Varsean is probably a dragon that feeds on aether and hesitates to say and then they're all like:

`"I know what you are," Bellphinaud breathed out, the Au Ra hovering nearby behind him.

"Say it. Out loud. Say it," he ordered.

"A dragon"

"Are you afraid," Varshan whispered.

"No." 

I knew it. Vytra loved me. The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by absence, distance, or time. And no matter how much more special or beautiful or brilliant or more perfect than he might be, he was as irreversibly altered as I was. As I would always belong to him, so would he always be mine.

Was that what I'd been trying to tell myself?

"Oh!"

"Bell?"

"Oh. Okay. I see."

"Your epiphany?" he asked, his voice uneven and strained.

"You love me," I marveled. The sense of conviction and rightness washed through me again.

Though his eyes were still anxious, the crooked smile I loved best flashed across his face. "Truly, I do."

"Yeah Yeah. So then they get to know one another and you find out his family are also dragons and some even have super powers. Varsean can read minds, except Bell's and uh…Alnyx can see the future and J'rahnsper has like reverse empathy and they use their powers to save Bellphinaud from other dragons and dragoons, which come up in the next story. And the rest of the family has these really deep backstories Bell learns about as they get closer. Huh…come to think about the family is kinda more interesting than the main protagonists…"

"Agreed," Nyx echoed.

"Ah. Anyroad. Uh. So Bellphinaud worries about his mortality and wants to be turned into a dragon but Varsean doesn't want to curse the other with the need to feed off of aether…Oh! In this story they need people's aether to survive. Forgot to mention that. The Coolens though try to subsist on aether from animals and not people. 

So uh…yeah. Eventually they make a deal. Bellphinaud must marry Varsean and then he can be turned. And that happens and somehow Bell creates an egg and it upsets Nidhogg cause Bell isn't a true dragon and wants Varsean to be apart of his dragon cult thing and Alnyx…I guess ends up saving the day convincing Nidhogg of his doom using her power cause he can see what other dragons have seen…I guess I need to work on it a bit more.”

"Agreed.  I must disconnect now, Rahn."

"Aw. Okay. Well, um…I love you," the Nuhn whispered into tomestone, worried as if someone might overhear."

“Acknowledged. Your affections are reciprocated," Nyx responded before the line went dead.

U'rahn flopped back and stared at the ceiling, thinking about Nyx a moment before rolling over to hang off the edge of his bed, rummaging around his mess of belongings before pulling out a small box. He swallowed, face turning red before a knock sounded at his door, the next huntress's appointment having come. The box fumbled in his hands as he tried to hide it. Giving the ring inside a brief peek, he let out a little scream into the side of his mattress and stuffed it away as his next partner let herself in.

[softquietsteadylove]

Hello! ✨

Something for the Thenamesh 10 Things AU!

What about some drama with Arishem. He heard a stupid rumor that his daughter Thena had some dirty time with a "bad boy" at a gas station or a workshop. Arishem was storming out of the house when Thena an Sersi came home and he yelled at her and grabbed her, trying to drag her into the house. And then, of course, Gilgamesh shows up and makes it even worse, because Arishem thinks he's this, in the rumor mentioned, "bad boy".

🖤✨Hugs and Love✨🖤

"Thena!"

Thena and Sersi both jumped as their father's voice rattled the air around them. Sersi stood from where she and Thena were sitting on the front step together. "F-Father, what-"

"Silence," the monstrous man stepped closer to them, forcing Thena to her feet with the pressure of his presence. He loomed over them. "Thena, I have heard rumours of you."

"What rumours?" she asked outright. It wouldn't do her any good to play stupid with her father. "Whatever it is, I'm certain it's false."

"Is that so?" he queried, leaning over his eldest daughter more. "I was told you went looking for...transportation."

Thena bristled.

"It is my understanding that you have formed an associative attachment with someone," Arishem paused, "less than reputable."

"Please say who you mean, Father," Thena asked, which was as good as wagging her finger and sassing him.

"Gilgamesh," Arishem spat out the name with distaste. "A young delinquent who will be lucky to graduate school, let alone attend a secondary education befitting of this family."

"And what does that have to do with anything?"

"You know the rules," he spoke deeply and evenly, eyes bearing down on Thena with her head directed at her shoes. "You do not let the common animals bed you, especially not the likes of unlawfuls."

"Father!" Sersi spoke up in a surprising bout of rebellion. "I don't know what you're talking about but Thena-"

"Was seen with this young man several times," Arishem concluded for his second daughter. And favourite, if Thena needed any more proof than this very conversation. "Including, entering and exiting his vehicle."

"I did not realise asking for a ride was strictly forbidden," Thena spoke up for herself again, which she had never done as much of in the past. But she managed to drag her eyes up to glare at her father, "truly I must be the whore of Babylon, then."

Arishem's eyes flared, only making his dark, devilish appearance even worse. "Enough."

"Father!" Sersi gasped.

"Inside," he snarled, gripping Thena's arm and dragging her up the rest of the stairs and towards the door.

"Hey!"

All three heads turned as a figure walked up the sidewalk and towards the house. "I don't know what the hell's happening, but let go of her."

Arishem stared down the young man walking towards him so brazenly. "You."

"Me," Gil made a face at him. Arishem's height didn't bother him, nor the sheer size of his figure, wide shoulders and monstrous limbs. Gil shrugged at him, moving his jacket with his hands inside the pockets.

Arishem looked down at Thena, in his clutches like a bird being shoved into a cage, "truly? This is with whom you wish to associate?"

"Father, please!" Sersi pleaded, tugging at his other sleeve in an effort to help her sister.

"Father?" he an even more sneering face at him. He walked up a few steps towards them. "You're their asshole of a dad?"

Arishem's spine straightened, each vertebra locking into place so he could glare down at the boy. "You have the audacity to address me so improperly?"

His eyes dashed down to the hand around Thena's arm. "I have a problem with anyone who handles their own kid like this."

"Gil, don't-!" Thena bit her lip as her father pulled her upwards, forcing her to stretch up with the impossible angle of her arm within his frighteningly high grasp.

"Gilgamesh," Arishem addressed, still holding onto Thena like an escaped convict. "I will say this only once: whatever claim to my daughter you think you possess, put it from your mind."

"Put it from my mind?" he repeated back as if he hadn't heard it the first time at all. "The fuck is wrong with you?"

Arishem brought his shoulders forward. "You-"

"No, you!" Gil belted back at him, jabbing his finger up in his face despite the difference in their height. Gil didn't back down in the least in the face of the monster of a man. "You listen to me, fuck-face! I don't care if you're their dad, I don't care if you spoon feed them from gold plates every single day! You don't handle them like this!"

Gilgamesh reached forward, taking advantage of the surprise on Arishem's face and grasped Thena's hand in his. He pulled faintly, but Arishem's grip hadn't loosened any.

His eyes looked as black as coal. "Unhand her."

"Stop hurting her," Gil barked right back at him. "I don't know what happened here, and I don't give a shit. She doesn't deserve this."

"Gil."

He looked at her, grief stricken by the whimper in her voice.

"Enough!" Arishem bellowed, his voice once again seeming like it could rustle the leaves in the trees. He let go of Thena, who stumbled like a fawn into Gil's offered support. "It seems I was right to deem you a lost cause."

"Who the hell talks about their own kid like that?"

"You," Arishem turned his attention back to Gilgamesh, whose hold on Thena's shoulders tightened. "If I ever lay my eyes on you again, your life in this town will cease to exist. Do you understand?"

Gilgamesh didn't even blink, holding Thena against his chest, "I understand that you're a prick who's lucky his daughters didn't turn out to be psychos too."

Perhaps with nothing more he could do to exercise control over the situation, Arishem turned and walked back into the house. The door slammed closed and Sersi's somewhat panicked breathing became more audible.

"Hey," Gil said gently, tipping Thena's chin his way, "are you okay?"

Thena just blinked, somewhat stunned by the past minutes.

"Thena!" Sersi rushed over to her, practically in tears. "I-I-I can't believe Father would-!"

Gil moved aside as Sersi threw her arms around her sister. Thena would never call herself a 'hugger' by nature, but Sersi was always the more emotional of the two of them. She patted her sister's back, "I'm okay."

Her eyes met Gil's, who still had quite a snarly look on his face. "Are you?"

Thena blinked before nodding, "I am."

Gil shifted on his feet, nodding his head in the direction of the front door, "are you gonna be okay going in there?"

Thena had her reservations, but their Father, at the very least, never dwelt on them for long. "I have no concern with what his opinion is of me. But don't worry, he would never expend the effort it would take to hurt me."

Gil eyed her arm--the one that had been wrenched upward in her father's grasp. "You sure about that?"

Sersi pulled herself away from Thena to offer a positively furious expression, no matter how tearful. "I cannot believe Father would act this way. I'm going to tell him that I will never forgive him for this!"

Thena nearly laughed, watching Sersi stomp her way into the house to give 'daddy' a piece of her mind. She rubbed her hands over her arms, "if it comes from Sersi, he is more apt to listen."

"Hey."

Thena looked at him as he placed his hands over hers, letting her guide his hands over her arms as well. She immediately thought of the hoodie that was inside, sitting on her bed waiting for her.

"Are you really okay?" he whispered, as if her father were lying in wait, listening. He ducked his head closer to hers, "you don't have to go in there. My Uncle would have no problem with you staying with us. He has a guest room!--and my room in the basement is-"

Thena smiled, tapping just the tip of her finger to his lips. She had never had the privilege of seeing Gilgamesh ramble on and on. It was endearing. "I am not afraid of my father, Gil, nor will I be afraid of walking into my own home."

"But-" he tried to protest, but she sealed his lips shut again.

"It is a sweet offer," she conceded. She never would have anticipated it, and it was almost humorous to imagine Gil just...showing up with her, like some stray he wanted to keep. "And I appreciate it. But I promise I will be fine here."

He sighed, obviously not in favour of leaving her here to whatever her father had in store for her. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she echoed back to him, just to see a smile on his face. It was small, but it was there. "I'll come find you tomorrow--prove my living status to you."

He chuckled, stepping back from her with a roll of his eyes, "okay Princess, whatever makes you feel better."

This was very literally for his benefit. But she didn't mind that so much, "very well. Tomorrow, then."

Gil took the steps backwards, staring at her as he made his way back across the street, "looking forward to it."

[essektheylyss]

We need to normalize a wider range of pulls for ticket buying problems. This wasn't really Taylor Swift debacle, it was San Diego Comic Con standard operating procedure.

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Gonna try bleaching my hair for the first time, wish me luck!!

[ehlnofay]

I need to write two characters with the most unhinged enmeshed nonromantic relationship imaginable. and I need to do it right now

[bumblingbabooshka]

Watching ‘Juggernaut’ right now and love how both B’Elanna and Tuvok seem to have said “Yeah I’ll do this in my pajamas, it’s late.”

[sins-of-the-sea]

"Has anyone seen Giovanni? I haven't seen him the past two days. He told me he went out for a grocery run, and usually he's back by the end of the day, and I am becoming worri-"

"Wait…!" Abena listens closely to a Giovanni poppet as she listens for Giovanni's soul. "Nani?? Where are-

"IN HELL?!?! Like Ruixiong and Rashid?!? You were in there this whole time?!"

Given Abena mentioned specifically Hell, Ruixiong, and Rashid, Josep quickly inferred Giovanni's status the past few days. "You're smarter than that, you absolute fool!! Why didn't you call on the Master to let you out?!"

Giovanni sat on an icy rock somewhere in the Ninth Circle in Hell, disappointed he couldn't find his brothers. "{P} He won't answer my calls."

Ebano lifted his head as he was eating from a bowl of chicken. '….Oops. Can't open doors without opposable thumbs.'

[dilfian]

4 hour work<3 just that easy<3 kiss my ass l*wes<3 lol

[dullahandyke]

thinking about akudrive and feminism which is a thinly-veiled way of saying im thikning about doctor

[shortfeather]

night one's word count: 2,424 words on [redacted-1] and 170 words on [redacted-2]

total: 2,594 words/20,000

no snippet sadly, because these works are both for an exchange that stays anonymous for a while and I don't want to break the rules

[oyaasumi]

should i put scratch in fw?

i'm gonna put scratch in fw

[chuluoyi]

MARRIED ON PURPOSE

- gojo satoru x reader

"for one, i can show you incredible things!" jujutsu, madness, heaven, sin. the strongest sorcerer is sure to show you all of that during the whole duration of your six-month marriage contract.

genre: marriage of convenience, enemies to lovers, crack, fluff, slight satosugu angst/comfort, kamo!reader, very suggestive. gojo clan is portrayed as very traditional, meanwhile kamo clan is rather unpleasant here

note: the unholy amount of times i've edited this story *sigh* but okay i must drop it here or else i'm going to keep editing it and losing my mind. despite my misgivings and all, i really had fun writing this and i hope you enjoy it! wc. 5k !

a part of 1K MILESTONE EVENT

series masterlist | oneshot masterlist

Some would say... marrying Gojo Satoru would be living the dream.

“Don't look that sour now, wife.”

“…sigh.”

A playful nudge at your side, a lighthearted voice— “You're going to make them question our veeery happy marriage, you know… We don't want that now, do we?”

But to you, it was more like nightmare dressed in a daydream.

It was peak comedy because why would you put marrying Gojo Satoru in your life plans? He was incorrigible, a child trapped in a man's body, and there was also the very fact that you hate him. His only redeeming trait was being born in the esteemed Gojo clan, and now held the title of the strongest.

You know you must have accumulated karma, but out of everything else, why must you end up in this predicament?

Hailing from the great clans of jujutsu society, both of you know well that marriage is the essence to make the clan greater. And when it involves the big three clans, its importance amplifies even further.

It was just that you two were too rebellious to follow it through, for one reason or another. Everyone knows Gojo Satoru was faithless to any woman, and you were not exactly thrilled with the idea of marriage as a whole.

He was the one who came to you, proposing this insane idea of a temporary marriage.

"Look at it this way," Satoru said with a wry grin, contrasting your puzzled frown on that fateful afternoon. "It's either me or Zen'in Naoya for you, isn't it? It's so clear which is the better man."

That was what grated you the most. You would be damned if you married the misogynist.

"What do you get from this arrangement, really?" you questioned begrudgingly.

His name would give you security, stop the harassment from your clan, and maybe even a better life, but you didn't quite get what he'd get from the offer he willingly extended to you.

Satoru flippantly shrugged. "Nah, you are not exactly my type, but you're still far better than the boring puppet my family have considered to be my wife."

"Who?"

"Don't remember her name. All she goes on about is that she'll be the good wife and mother of my child. Ew."

Seven hells. You scowled. Gojo Satoru and his penchant for chasing the thrill. Boring women would kill him before an actual curse would.

"And hey, for one," he shot you a smirk, visibly smug. "I can show you incredible things!"

"That's not the point! Gojo, do you even realize—" your voice rose, pulsating with righteous fury, "—how serious all of this is? My life, your life! We're going to be stuck—together!"

"Six months," he blurted, tilting his head slightly. His sunglasses slipped down just enough for you to catch a glimpse of his sparkling eyes. "It's enough time to work through our shits, and by then if you have enough, we're through."

At that time, it seemed feasible. Both of you tolerating each other to avoid a much worse match.

. . .

BACK TO PRESENT—barely a week ever since you were paraded around as his wife, now you and Satoru were stiffly poised in the studio in your formal garbs, capturing your official wedding photos.

At that time, it seemed feasible, but now, it felt like a chore, as you realized that conversing with him either spiked your blood pressure so much that you wouldn't even be surprised if you ended up with hypertension or completely sapped your energy that you were left exhausted.

"Come on, show a smiiile," Satoru said in a sing-song voice, gesturing toward the camera as it flashed for the pictures. You were beyond appalled, shooting a glare in his direction.

"I am smiling, Gojo."

"Liar. You're pouting, wifey~"

Sigh… this really is going to be one hella of a ride, huh?

MONTH ONE, and you found out that Gojo Satoru is apparently as mad as people made him out to be.

"You've got to be kidding me!" you fumed, right after he hauled you into one of the rooms in his grand, traditional estate. Your glare pierced through him, a blood vessel ready to burst. "We never agreed on ‘consummating’ the marriage!"

You wrote him a goddamn contract. And the three conditions of this chaotic marriage are: one, it would only last six months; two, no personal feelings involved; and three, nothing borderline disturbing.

And this, you concluded, was the height of what could be called as disturbing.

"We will not," Satoru replied with a hint of disdain, grimacing, as if the notion didn't sit well with him either. The audacity! "We're just going to make it as if we are—"

"And why?! Why should I do that?!"

"Why else? Because my old fart believes that we indeed haven't done so."

"Then it's your fault? For failing to convince him? Why turn it into my problem!"

"Because, dear wife," he drawled, his tone taunting on the final note. "Now we're on the same page, in case you have forgotten."

Great clans and their hollow expectations spare no one, not even Gojo Satoru. They place importance in the most banal things, such as the continuity of sacred bloodlines and such.

The only alternative wasn't appealing either. Should you be found out that you married only to divorce... sigh, you didn't even want to know how big of a scandal it would be. One thing was certain: your clan would chop you to shreds.

You really had no choice, huh?

"Five minutes," you warned, glaring at him. "Make it loud. Make it so that no one wouldn't question this anymore."

Oh and sure he would. As Satoru pulled that shit-eating grin, you were in for another ride. You waited out until several maids were nearby, left the wooden door ajar, and began the show—

His hands wrapped around your waist—the feeling was peculiar, but you ignored it—and you let him pull you near that open door. He snuggled his face on your neck—his hair tickling you in the process, but you ignored that peculiarity again—as he started making suggestive noises. "Mm, you're so pretty, darling."

You could hear those maids gasp in surprise. And to add the flavor, you faked a moan.

This is... kinda fun? A twisted part of you suddenly found satisfaction in fooling the maids. A smile tugged at your lips as you shoved him away, and Satoru eyed you in surprise and irritation.

"Husband, you're... insatiable," you worded languidly, and he immediately caught on your act, grinning. "Anyone can walk by, you know."

"Oh? But that's the point." Satoru's bright blue eyes twinkled with utter mischief, and even you couldn't deny the exhilarating rush. "I want them to know."

And suddenly you got this very brilliant idea. You swiftly moved past him and sent the books and trinkets on his desk flying to the floor, causing questionable noises.

"Oh my!" a girlish voice exclaimed.

"The master! And the lady!"

Satoru shook his head, thoroughly entertained. And you rolled your eyes. Those nosy maids would finally have enough now, and this charade would end—

"What's happening here?"

The old fart. Both you and Satoru grunted in unison. You really thought you would leave it up to the maids to spread the word, but then you were taken by surprise when he wrapped his hands around you and flung the door open, slamming you against it—and damn it hurt!—offering everyone a front-row seat to your charade.

The maids squealed. His grandfather raised a righteous, demanding eyebrow. You wanted to scream.

"Hey, gramps," he greeted jovially, breathless, his grip on you tightening and you felt heat radiating from his palm. "Ah, sorry, opened it by accident—the wife here is feisty, you see."

Your veins felt ready to burst. Was this a part of his plan all along? How would you show your face before your grandfather-in-law now that he had seen this... atrocity?!

"So, yeah, we'll resume our business!" Satoru, the idiot, said it as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "See ya!"

With that the door slammed shut, but oh no, it was not the end.

"Mmmph!?" you protested, unintentionally loud and eyes widening in alarm when Satoru muffled your mouth with his hand.

The rotten bastard! You found it nearly impossible to breathe, shooting daggers at him. "Mmmrgh! Mmmrrgh!"

"Oh... so that boy really does it huh," you heard the elder mutter in thoughtful manner from outside—and you were in disbelief at how trusting he was—before rounding the stunned maids and barked, "What are all you doing here? Go!"

You nearly sagged with relief when Satoru loosened his grip slightly, allowing you to breathe, as his meddlesome grandpa finally stalked away. Done. This horrible act was over! But wait, why did he still had his hand on your mouth?

"That went splendidly!" he snickered, appearing rather pleased with what had unfolded. "Now, if only we work together like this more often—"

This is… my life now, you lamented the reality. The feeling of his calloused hand on you made you feel things, honestly speaking, but another emotion—and impulse—currently overpowered that.

Seething with resentment, you fiercely chomped down on his hand hard, causing him to swear and pull his hand out of you.

"You—you devil! You bit me!"

"Serves you right!"

Okay, he was bad. He was insufferable. But to be frank, sometimes it wasn't all chaos.

And what's more, by MONTH TWO, you realized that being married to Gojo Satoru also comes with several perks.

"Miss, please, you're trespassing—"

You looked at the police with the haughtiest look you could muster, unamused. "Don't you know who I am?"

"No, but it shouldn't—"

"I'm that man's wife," you declared regally, motioning towards a certain tall shuttlecock a few meters away. "Is that not clear enough for you?"

For one, no one can look down on you anymore, because should they try, you have the power to raise your chin high and declare yourself as the wife of the infamous sorcerer. The very moment you did, that nosy police stopped yapping, and let you through.

The cursed boy, Yuta and his classmate had just been trapped inside a barrier a curse user pulled down, and you were assigned to look into this case by the headquarters. As much as it boggled you—because certainly, the strongest sorcerer was enough to investigate this—you still had to do your job.

“What is this?” you asked Satoru, who was observing something far beyond what your measly ordinary eyes could see. “What happened here?”

He turned to you, all with bandaged eyes. “Hmm? Oh, you’re here too?”

“Don't act surprised. Answer my question, Gojo.”

"You’re too uptight, wifey," Satoru's lips curved upwards playfully. He had taken to addressing you with pet names as of late, if anything, only to get a rise out of you. "Isn't it the time for you to start calling me by my given name?"

You let out a weary exhale, exasperated. "I'm serious, did you find anything? Who is behind this?"

"Nah, nothing for you to worry about," Satoru waved his hand dismissively, grinning. "More importantly! Let's head back and have dinner! My treat!"

You weren't that oblivious. You noticed things too.

"What do you want tonight? Sukiyaki? Sushi?" he hummed nonchalantly. "Or shabu-shabu?"

You gave him the stink eye. "Is that all you think about? Food?"

"As a responsible husband, it's my duty to feed my wife, no?"

"News flash: temporary wife."

"But still my wife, regardless. I overheard you earlier. Being Mrs. Gojo is convenient, yeah?"

You ignored how a part of your jolted at the emphasis he placed on that word, grunting. "Nah, it's meh."

Call it a feeling or hypothesis. It was similar to how he treated his students. He always said the dumbest things, but it actually served to make them feel at ease.

Then it occurred to you, could this be actually his attempt to change the subject?

"You can't cheat your way out of this." You shot him a pointed look. "You know something. Tell me."

"Hmmm? And what would I get in return?"

"Don't make this difficult. I'm on this assignment too!"

"Nah, if you call me by my name, I might consider it."

Hah. You should really read a parenting book one of these days. Taking on your husband was more or less the same as facing a kid.

"Satoru," you tested, the name rolling out of your lips far easier than you thought. Somehow, using his given name felt like some sort of a leap of faith.

He stopped right in his tracks, turning to you. His glossy lips quirked into a meaningful smile, and you felt funny.

"Wasn't that difficult, was it?" he winked, and you covered the strange heat creeping onto your face by rolling your eyes and huffed.

Needless to say, he still didn't tell you even a clue. You finally gave up, thinking that if he insisted on not disclosing it, then so be it. You trusted him on this, even as he turned your help away, and you hated admitting it, because, well…

You’d trust him with your life. He knows how to handle this better than anyone.

Being a a woman in Kamo clan is, in fact, not any better than in Zen'in—you're regarded more as a commodity than a human being.

"When will you bear the child of the bearer of Six Eyes?" in your father's eyes, you were but a tool to tie the Gojo at his hip, and your worth probably wasn't even twice of Noritoshi's. You had known he would ask this when he summoned you to Kamo ancestral home, and you weren't that naive—you had asked Satoru to join you too. But your father had insisted him to stay at the foyer, while he dragged you into his chamber.

Just because you had seen it coming didn’t mean you liked it. "Is that all? Do you really make me come here just to ask me that?"

And what came next was like a crack of thunder.

"How insolent!"

You shuddered, hating how his voice still had control over you. You wanted to stay deviant, but you couldn't keep yourself from shaking. You thought you would have to endure this shit just like you did before, until—

"Now, now... That's my wife you're talking to. I'd watch your words, if I were you."

You had never whipped your head so fast.

There stood Gojo Satoru, your husband, in all his glory. He was smiling but it was clear that he was displeased, evident from his cutting remark, and most notably, how he had unveiled his striking cerulean eyes for all to see. Truth to be told, you didn't expect him to barge in here at all.

"Gojo-sama," your father bowed his head, displaying utter respect towards him, contrasting the blatant disrespect he showed towards you just now. Satoru paid him no heed, as took big strides towards you and seized your arm, prompting you to rise to your feet.

"What is this? Why are you yelling at her?" His voice lacked its usual hint of amusement or teasing, sending a chill down your spine.

"Gojo-sama, I apologize for my tone towards my daughter earlier. I was just trying to educate—"

“My wife. She is my wife now, and it would do you better to remember that,” Satoru asserted firmly, putting emphasis in the way he addressed you, his gaze hardening. "She is an adult. There's nothing left for you to educate her." Pausing, he added, "And the way I saw it, you were just unnecessarily rude."

"Gojo-sama, there were just certain things in our clan that—"

"Please, don't call on us again," Satoru interjected decisively with a light yet firm voice. You could swear your heart was somersaulting at the sight of him staring down your natural enemy. "I'm sure you're aware, but your daughter bears my name now, and she will get the respect she is due. I will have a word with anyone who fails to treat her accordingly."

Somehow or another, Satoru whisked you away from that hellhole, your hand tightly clasped in his. Your relieved sigh didn't go unnoticed by him, as he looked back to you.

"Have you gone soft?" he teased, eyeing you with a playful snort. "Did you forget who your husband is? You've got nothing to fear. Not even him."

"Thank you," you murmured. Your heart was still pounding and your mind blanked, rendering you unable to engage in your usual banters.

His clear blue eyes widened a touch, blinking at your display of vulnerability, Then, he wore the most innocent expression, even sporting a silly smirk—the hardness from earlier gone. "I was really cool, huh? Totally made you swoon I bet."

And in MONTH THREE, you realized, as he laced his fingers with yours, as his laughter filled the air, as calmness swelled on your chest, and as you loudly snorted at his remark, that—

You felt warm, so warm, in fact, and maybe—

"Pfft, you wish."

—maybe... being with him isn't so bad after all.

MONTH FOUR, and you finally found out that it was Geto Suguru.

Everyone knew that your husband and the criminal used to be the best of friends. You saw them during your high school days, and heck, you used to think that Geto was the better man.

You could only imagine what he must feel.

. . .

When he got back to your shared house after the whole ordeal—after he ended his best friend with his own hands, Satoru honestly didn't expect that you would be waiting for him.

"You okay?" you asked him, brows furrowed in concern. It was probably one of the very few times you had displayed emotions other than contempt towards him.

It felt strange because he was used to your jabs, and he was not sure what sort of expression he should pull now, because truthfully, now he felt empty. Blank. All he comprehended was that he had killed Suguru, that he was gone, and that was something he must do.

It would be just like any other day if hadn't just committed a murder. On someone he held dear.

"Of course, who do you think I am?" Satoru swiftly replied, sounding smug—or at least tried to. "I'm the strongest. I’m unscat—"

"No, not that." You frowned, meeting his gaze squarely. "After everything."

Satoru struggled to choose how he should react, partly because most of his energy had gone after walking Yuta back and reassuring him earlier, and by default, the two of you should be hellbent on hating each other and wishing for this contract to end soon.

"Aww, are you worried about me?" he quipped with a touch of sarcasm just because he had to, to show you that it wasn't enough to ruffle him.

Because he is still the strongest, even when alone. Especially when he is alone.

You let out a sigh, looking away. "Can't I?"

"Whoa, that's sweet of—"

"Don't fool yourself," you stated in straight-laced manner, meeting his gaze with a composed expression. "You're not okay. You might be Gojo Satoru, but no one will be after doing what you just did."

You might be Gojo Satoru, but no one will be after doing what you just did.

Despite himself, his smile fell, and his chest burns. What is this? Were you sympathizing with him?

Does that mean that you don't see him as the entity... that was the strongest?

Before now, Satoru remembered you as the most uncooperative Kyoto girl he had ever met. Your first meeting in high school sealed your fate as the two of you could hardly get along. You didn't mince words, you didn't take shit from anyone else—heck, sometimes when he thought of you, what came up to mind was an impenetrable diamond.

Which was why he chose you. You were someone he could trust. You were pretty in the eyes and certainly wouldn't bore him either. His reasons were purely based on logic. And after four months with you, Satoru came to a conclusion that you indeed fulfilled all his expectations, if not more.

And he felt comfortable, or dare he say, secure even. He felt like he had gained a friend, who could see past his bravado and wouldn't judge him for it.

"You're..." you sighed, casting a sympathetic glance at him, your forehead slightly creased. At that moment, Satoru couldn't help but think you were incredibly endearing, fretting over him. "...an idiot."

"Heh." I really am, aren't I?

"I never knew him well..." you chose your words carefully, hesitant. "Did you try to convince him, before this?"

He barked a bitter laugh. "I did, we even made a scene in front of freaking KFC," he remarked with a scoff. "He didn't listen to me, until the very end."

You wanted to tell him “You have done everything you could” but the words faltered on your tongue. You couldn't bring yourself to say it when you saw the faint quiver of his lips, the slump of his shoulders—the very sight of a boy grieving the loss of his friend.

Your heart pricked too, somehow, seeing that expression on him. And you once again realized that your silly, exalted husband was just as human as anyone else who made him think he wasn’t.

"And you know what he said in the end?" Satoru's tone was flippant, as if asking the most normal thing around, but carried a trace of grief, evident in the slight drop in his tone if you squinted. "He said he didn't regret it, not even a bit."

"I'm sorry," was all you could manage.

Satoru's smile was lopsided. Now that he had finally accepted it, something inside him finally bleeds, and it freaking hurts. The pain gripped his chest like a swirling inferno.

But then, you boldly clasped his hand in yours, gently tracing soothing circles on its back.

"What?" he peered at you, feeling a ghost of a smile forming.

"Consider this emotional support."

And he chuckled softly. Despite the lingering ache, despite the gloom he was sure he would carry for the rest of his life, he felt the pain was more bearable with you by his side, somewhat.

How?

You blamed it on the alcohol, because it was MONTH FIVE and you were kissing Gojo Satoru, daringly.

"We shouldn't be doing this," you rasped between kisses, breathless, as your own sinful hands plucked the buttons off his shirt. The intoxication might have played a part, but the intense heat coursing through you made it hard to think straight.

Satoru crashed his lips against yours again, consumed by blind lust. "Yeah, we shouldn't," he replied in a rush. His breath was hot as he trailed his lips down your jaw and neck next, savoring the softness of your skin.

You two had attended a banquet for the elite, and you were unbelievably beautiful. Standing by his side as his wife, you drew admiring glances, with everyone marveling at what a remarkable couple you made. The Gojo heir who was born with the legendary Limitless and the Kamo heiress, as lovely as her clan's name was powerful.

His deft hands roamed the curves of your body, exploring every inch of you. The warmth of his hands tickled something inside you as you closed your eyes to sink into this very moment. Next you knew, his bare body was against yours and you were stripped out of your evening dress.

Lust flickered in his honored eyes, as he took in the sight of you in your undergarments.

"You're really pretty, you know," he whispered. The intensity with which his eyes scanned your form made you nearly squirm. "Shame we don't always get along."

"You're one to talk," you retorted, a hint of exasperation in your tone, as you willed all other thoughts away. Thoughts like what comes after this. Thoughts like—

Is it heaven or sin, if you feel both at once?

His thumb tenderly caressed your plush lips, a hint of a smirk on his beautiful face.

He has long been thinking about your body. He was but a man, after all. He just didn't expect that you wanted this too.

There was always this tension, only this time, neither of you could hold it back anymore. Perhaps it was impulse—hell, most certainly it is, but there was another thing, something more that even Gojo Satoru still didn't dare to say out loud.

"Eager, are we?" he taunted when you leaned in, yearning for the touch of his lips on yours again.

You huffed. “Shut up and kiss me.”

A rush of heat flooded your cheeks at the slip of those words. You were about to rectify it, taken aback by your own boldness, but then he drew you close, silencing any further protest with a gentle hush—

"Too late, sweetheart," his husky voice entered your ears, lips curling into the most wicked smile, and you were in a trance. And Satoru was once again convinced, that choosing you as his wife was the rightest thing there was.

If the two of you went with this, then there would be consequences. Things would become more complicated, harder to sort out.

But, he decided, as he captured your lips in another heated kiss, everything else can wait.

MONTH SIX, and you were dreading the day of your divorce.

You brought this upon yourself. Whenever you reminisced about that night, you wanted to smack yourself in the face and bang your head against the nearest wall.

This marriage has a time limit. And you were doing it out of convenience in the first place.

You weren't supposed to… goddammit—fall in love with him.

But what's done is done, there is no going back in time. Awkward exchanges and lingering stares had been gnawing at your insides these days, and you were sure Satoru too must have noticed them too. You two used to be more relaxed with each other, and he'd even flirt with you, but weeks ever since that night of drunken passion, you almost reverted back to your high school personas—ignoring each other.

This was tough. You didn't like this. And more than that, you were faced with a more pressuring matter...

Gojo Satoru, with everything he possessed, could have had any woman he wanted. This arrangement with you was temporary in the first place, soon he would forget you and flit to the next woman.

The thought made your heart ache, because you had involuntarily gave your heart away to him. Siiigh… What a predicament you put yourself into, huh?

With just a month left together, maybe you should just make the best of it.

. . .

If you thought that things were any better with Satoru, then you were sorely wrong because he too, was debating with himself often nowadays.

Days spent with you were fun and fulfilling. You irked expression somehow had made its mark in his heart. You were pretty, fit to be by his side publicly and preferably, behind the closed doors. With you, he didn't feel the need to carry this facade of being strong—he could be a clown tripping over his own trap and you would amuse him with your deadpan expression.

And ever since that night, he was constantly reminded by how soft your skin was against his. It almost drove him crazy now that he was deprived of it.

How was it the last month already? He wasn't ready to let you go yet.

When he got back home later after his class ended and found you in the dinner table setting the food, all he could muster was, "Hey. Haven't eaten?"

You whirled around to face him in surprise. "Oh... you're back. Just about to. Want to join me?"

Of course he would. And yet as the two of you sat down, it was so painfully awkward Satoru felt like he was dying inside.

Why couldn't he pull off a smart line or two? Where did his suaveness go? He was smoother than this, surely, with his colorful history. One night of passion was supposed to enhance the relationship, not to derail it. What happened to you both?

The salt was near his side when you reached to grab it and bumped into his hand. "Uh-oh."

Turning towards you, he found your spooked expression and your adorable eyes widening in surprise. "S-sorry..."

It was just freaking salt! Salt! Why on earth were you apologizing?!

Enough, he thought. This utter madness of being jumpy with each other. He'd start from his side.

Does he want you to keep being his wife even after all this ends? Yes.

Why? All reasons already listed above.

Does this mean he likes you? Apparently and supposedly, yes. Because if it isn't then he doesn't know what this funny feeling driving him mad is.

With that sorted out, then he only had one more thing to confirm. He put down his spoon and crossed his arms together. "Tell me the truth. Do you like living with me?"

His question obviously took you by surprise. "Huh? What brought this on?"

"Just give me an answer."

"You're so pushy," you grumbled, lips pursed, and he felt like you were finally back to your usual dynamics somewhat. Good.

"Sooo, the verdict? Do you enjoy being with me or not?"

Because to him, it was a resounding yes and more.

Ignoring the warmth that surged to your cheeks, you rolled your eyes. "Surprisingly, not bad, yeah," you admitted, mustering the courage to meet his gaze. "You're annoying, an idiot, a bit crazy—"

"Hey!"

"—but eventually you're still... manageable," you added, feeling your face truly start to sizzle. But covered it up by looking down and playing with your fingers as you still had more to go on. "What I want to say is... I'm glad that I agreed to this—with you—because I can’t imagine it with anyone else."

An unfamiliar tingling emotion rushed to his chest as his face too started to heat up, letting your words sink in. Is he blushing? Oh God. He sure is. And so did he feel hella giddy.

Then it’s sealed.

Suddenly he procured a piece of paper from his work uniform and showed it to you. You first saw his lazily scrawled signature before it dawned on you.

The contract. You almost forgot that you made him sign that looming piece of paper. You were almost dismayed, thinking that he would end this right then and there, but then—

“Well, then… I suppose we no longer need this.”

Riiip~

Your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when Gojo Satoru tore out your contract right in front of your face, the most brilliant of his devilish grin adorned his handsome face, as he took of his blindfold to see you far clearly than ever. Heavens, you are cute, he thought.

“Soooo~ seems like you’re stuck with me from now on!”

You gaped, awestruck at the blatant meaning of it all, feeling how your heartbeat started to pick up the pace, when he pulled the rag out of your feet once more by tilting his head to the side, looking at you with a winning smile.

“Let’s start over! What did they say again? Ah, yeah. Here’s to the first day of our lives!”

[scalpho]

unbelievably funny that when the seven hit their junior year (after, like, a hell of a lot of shenanigans to all remain in school together despite being different ages) arthur aguefort was like "oh you guys want to stick together? yeah i'll tell you about the mystical ged and stop time to take you to my super secret library and yes i'm going to be weird and cryptic about it all because i'm arthur aguefort, like, duh, but i am still ultimately helping you and i think you're soooo cool i'm so proud of you all [sheds a tear]". and with the bad kids he's like "yeah yeah i know you 'saved the world' but you need to get your grades up or i'll expel you. lol."

[longroadstonowhere]

seriously trying my hand at zelda (original flavor) second quest for the first time

i’m using all the guides and maps i can find online, plus the bits i can get from my physical zelda books, because i do not have infinite time to reinvent the wheel on this ... nearly forty year old game, but i think it’ll still be fun if i manage to complete it

[midnightcrw]

Provocative

Pairing: Alastor x fem!reader

Summary: Lucifer visits the Hazbin Hotel because his daughter called him, but there he sees a good friend he hasn't seen in a long time.

Warnings: Swearing, even though it's only one swear word (this is fluff, by the way)

a/n: Since you all wanted a second part, I finally wrote one, although I really wasn't sure how to continue. I tried my best, and unfortunately, I'm not that happy with it, but hopefully, you all will like it somehow / Part 1

A headache threatened to make itself known as you looked unimpressed as the King of Hell shook your shoulders, causing you to rock back and forth.

"Did your parents drop you on your head when you were a kid?" Lucifer asked in a desperate tone, not wanting to believe that you and Alastor were a thing (obviously still not knowing that you're married to each other).

"Maybe," you said nonchalantly, ready to push him away if he didn't stop shaking you.

"But-" that's it, you thought as you pushed Lucifer's hands away from your shoulders, surprising him by that before cupping his face in your hand, squeezing his cheeks tightly as he stared at you with wide eyes.

"Listen to me," you began in a stern tone, glaring at him, making him visibly swallow. "You're going to let your daughter show you around, or I'm going to skin you infront of everyone."

With that, you let go of his face as you dusted off your hands, as if you had touched something dirty.

The rest of the residents could only stare with shocked expressions. Fortunately, they hadn't heard what you had said, but from what they had seen, it was definitely intense, as no one would dare do such a thing to the Ruler of Hell.

Though Alastor didn't look shocked, he seemed to be fuming as one of his eyes twitched while the crazed grin never left his face.

"Okay... Anyway, Dad. Look at this lovely parlor where people can get to know each other and share secrets and stories and intimate feelings!" The excitement was vivid in Charlie's tone as she had her beautiful smile on her face.

She was already trying to move on, wanting to make her point to her dad and you appreciated the fact that you weren't in the spotlight anymore.

Thinking that you were finally getting some peace, you sighed in relief before you felt Alastor's head on top of yours.

"Tell me, darling. How long have you known this little pesky, but surely powerful man?" The 'powerful' was emphasized, as the static seemed to get even more grating with his snippy tone.

Alastor was not the jealous type, you knew that. But he always had his moments, loving to meddle in other people's affairs while hiding his own.

Huffing, you turned around and looked up at him, "While you were gone for seven years, I might have befriended him."

The anger was evident in your voice as you did not explain further. Not only had your husband left you for a few years out of nowhere, but now he was suddenly trying to pry information out of you.

Alastor just laughed at your answer and shook his head while your hands clenched into fists.

And before you could curse him, he suddenly moved much closer, almost pressing his forehead against yours. "Surely for nothing of lustful nature," he whispered sharply, sounding almost disgusted as he uttered the word 'lustful'.

"Maybe I should have," two could play this game, and you certainly weren't going to back down now, since he loved to provoke you so much.

Hearing your reply, the static increased as his antlers grew before he suddenly disappeared in front of your eyes, now standing further away from you.

"Charlie has a very unique vision," your husband began as he approached Charlie, speaking very animatedly, "I am happy to fulfill her bizarre requests," he said, placing his hand on the blonde's shoulder as she thanked him.

Of course, seeing that didn't make Lucifer happy at all, since he was already planning to kill Alastor when he got the chance.

And to be honest, at this point, you couldn't care less, almost ready to encourage Lucifer.

"Quite an impressive young lady. We're all very proud of her." The man dressed in red knew what he was doing as he pulled Charlie closer.

Somehow, even though he was angry, the short man managed to steer the conversation to another topic, such as getting introduced to the rest of the people in the hotel.

With a smile on her face, Charlie pulled Vaggie near her, "This is Vaggie. She's my girlfriend."

You had probably never seen Lucifer so relieved as a grin made its way across his face, "Oh my golly, you like girls?"

You truly wanted to bang your head against something, knowing that he was going to embarrass himself.

"Yes, so do I. We have so much in common. You put her there, Maggie," he said as he pulled Vaggie into a bone crushing hug, making her a bit uncomfortable with his enthusiasm.

"He didn't even get the name right..." you muttered, rubbing your temple in frustration.

And of course, it wouldn't be Alastor if he didn't continue to annoy you further, "Everything all right, my sweet?"

"Would be much better without you here," you said, avoiding eye contact, not wanting to deal with him right now.

"Is that so?" Alastor whispered in your ear with a toothy grin on his face, looking pleased with himself as you flinched at the sudden closeness.

All you could do was exhale sharply as you stepped away from him, even though he teleported right back into your personal space.

Ignoring him, you just watched the rest of the residents.

"Hello, I clean." Niffty giggled to herself as she grabbed hold of Lucifer's coat, causing him to stare at her with an uncertain expression on his face.

"Don't you dare throw the chandelier to the floor," you whispered, already one step ahead of him.

"Oh, and how well you know me," Alastor said in a delighted voice, and now you wished you hadn't told him that, because it seemed that another plan was brewing in that big head of his.

Without warning, your husband suddenly put an arm around your waist as he walked you closer to the rest of the people.

"You must be proud of Charlie since she has already found people who want to redeem themselves," the grin didn't leave his face as usual as the attention was once again back on you and Alastor.

Lucifer's eye twitched as he looked at you, not liking the fact that the deer was holding his friend so close.

"Sure I am," the short man said as he pulled you out of the radio demon's grip, causing the static to be heard.

"Doesn't seem like it," Alastor said quickly, jumping to the next topic before Lucifer could interject in annoyance, "I even remember the exact moment Charlie needed help, and of course, being the perfect gentleman, I couldn't help but lend a hand." He chuckled to himself as he suddenly grabbed your hand, wanting to pull you to him, but Lucifer didn't let go of your hand, but nonetheless he continued to talk anyway.

"You could almost call me dad," Alastor said with a sinister grin as both men continued to pull on your hand.

"Surely no one would call you that," the King of Hell said with contempt in his voice as he glared at your husband and suddenly turned his eyes to you, "I promise you, you can do better than this. Have you seen his haircut?"

"I see it every day," you muttered.

Charlie didn't seem to be in a better mood than you, as she let herself fall onto the sofa while Vaggie patted her head. And somehow Angel Dust was eating popcorn, even holding the popcorn bag in front of the Princess of Hell as she started to eat some of it while they all watched the three of you.

"In fact, she sees it every day and every night," Alastor added with a crazed look in his eyes as he started to get annoyed.

The look on Lucifer's face was hilarious. One would really like to see his reaction if he knew that Alastor wasn't interested in anything sexual, but just loved to anger people, especially those who didn't pay attention to him.

"Nobody wants to see that atrocity!"

"Well, she loves it!"

"She doesn't!"

And before things could get worse, Husk suddenly said, "Mimzy is here."

With that, your eyes widened as you looked towards the entrance while the men stopped pulling on your hands.

Oh and how you hated her.

"Surely you all missed me!" The voice of the beautiful little woman was heard, clearly directed at your husband.

Fuck no, you thought.

Taglist

@nonetheartist

@anuttellaa

@explosionkatsu

@randomuser-89

@nightlydream

@itsmskeisha

@l0ca1ax010t1

[ssaalexblake]

now if we wanna talk about something i’ve thought about and decided to be cynical over, we have stp s3 :/