#i'm going to crawl back under my miserable little rock now

[wheels-of-despair]

Hands to Yourself Pairing: Michael (Hoard) x You Summary: Michael can't keep his hands to himself... so you're gonna teach him how, whether he likes it or not. Contains: Domme reader who is well above the age of consent, Michael being handsy and annoying, bondage, teasing, begging, kink-related threats, learning lessons the hard way. Words: 1.3k Youths and ageless blogs, DNI. Writer will block your ass.

"Fuck off, I've gotta get to work."

You're at the bathroom mirror, trying to finish your make-up so you can hit the road. But large hands knead at your breasts from behind, and a warm mouth attaches itself to the side of your neck. You don't have time for distractions today.

You put down your compact and smack one of his hands. He's made you forget the next step in your morning routine. He kneads harder and nips at your neck in retaliation.

"Get off, I've gotta go."

"Get me off, and I'll let you go."

You laugh. That's not how this works.

"You had your chance, hot shot, and you blew it. Now quit pawing at me, I've got shit to do."

"S'not fair," he whines, somehow finding your nipples through a shirt and a padded bra.

"Then I guess you should've stopped drinking last night before the whiskey dick set in, huh?"

"Shut up," he mumbles into your neck, pressing you against edge of the sink and rocking his hips into you so you can feel his erection.

"Excuse me?"

His big brown eyes finally meet yours in the mirror. Even through the lust clouding them, you can see that your tone has scared him. He's stopped moving. Good.

You spin around. He drops his hands and looks sheepish.

"Tell you what, pretty boy," he perks up at this. You hold his chin between your thumb and forefinger and make him look at you. "When I get home tonight, I'll think about giving you what you want." His eyes light up. "After I teach you a lesson about keeping your hands to yourself." He bites his lip.

You lurch forward for a quick kiss while his brain swirls, then side-step him and continue getting ready for work.

"Please," he begs later that night. "Please stop torturing me."

"Aw, poor baby," you laugh. "I haven't even started torturing you yet."

He flails the best he can, for being tied spread-eagled to the bed. You haven't even touched him since you put the cock ring on. You're sitting between his spread legs, fully clothed, watching him squirm under your gaze. He looks positively miserable.

You were 3 minutes late for work this morning, and had to put on mascara in the car. He earned it.

"Please," he whines again.

"Please what?"

"Please just fucking touch me!"

"Is that how we ask for things? That didn't sound very polite."

He throw his head back and groans, and you try not to let your face show how much you're loving this.

"Please, will you touch me?"

"Touch you where?"

He huffs out an angry breath.

"Please, will you touch my cock?"

"Must you be so vulgar in my presence? I am a lady, you know."

He lifts his head and slams it back against the pillow, letting out an agonized groan. You laugh at him, and decide you're ready to play. You slowly crawl over him, careful not to touch his throbbing cock, and kiss a light trail up his stomach. He squirms, but knows better than to try to rut up into you.

"You know your little distraction made me late this morning?" you ask, before giving his nipple a gentle tug with your teeth. He hisses.

"M'sorry."

"Really? Doesn't sound like it." You roll his nipple between your teeth, and he quivers.

"I'm gonna…"

"No, you're not." You sit back up on your knees and watch him leak.

"Baby, please."

"Don't you 'baby, please' me. What did I say I was gonna do to you tonight?"

"Teach me a lesson," he hisses through clenched teeth.

"About what?"

"Keeping my hands to myself."

"That's right. I guess I should probably lead by example. I'll be keeping my hands to myself tonight, too."

He thrusts his rigid cock into nothing in another pathetic flail.

When he stops moving, you stand and slowly strip to your underwear. He gives you his full attention as you unhook your bra and let it fall to the floor.

Clad in nothing but panties, you crawl between his spread legs again. Sitting on your knees, you cover your tits with your hands and knead like he had earlier that morning.

He whines.

"What's the matter?" you ask patronizingly, not stopping your movements.

He glares at you and jerks at his restraints.

"Careful, or you'll bruise."

"I need you."

"I need you to behave."

"I ammm," he whines, drawing the word out.

"Whining is not behaving, Michael."

You place your palms on the mattress on either side of his hips and lean over him. He could rut up into you and make contact right now, and probably cum instantly. But he knows better.

You crawl up him slowly, letting your heavy breasts graze his glistening skin occasionally. When you look down into his eyes, his desperation nearly breaks your resolve.

And then he lifts his head and takes your nipple in his mouth. You let him suck hungrily for a moment before pulling away and looking down at him in disappointment.

"Did I say you could do that?"

His bottom lip juts out in a pout.

"And you were so close to getting what you wanted," you say regretfully, lifting yourself off him. He wasn't, but he didn't need to know that.

"Nooo," he whines, trying to reach for you even though he's still tied.

The phone rings, providing a perfect excuse to let him stew a little longer. You walk toward the door, then turn back to him. "Don't go anywhere," you wink.

You can hear the bed creaking from his angry flailing as you go to answer it with a grin.

It's a telemarketer, but you decide to make him wait anyway.

When you return, he's nearly in tears. You'd planned on taking your time with him tonight and making him suffer, but you're starting to feel the need for release too. Might as well.

"Alright," you sigh. "You're just so pathetic, I can't stand watching you beg anymore."

His eyes sparkle, thinking you're finally going to get him off. It's like he doesn't know you at all.

You untie one of his hands, then make yourself comfortable in a chair beside the bed.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"What was today's lesson?"

His brow furrows as he thinks about it. "Keeping my hands to myself?"

"Good boy. Go on, then."

"I can…?"

"Go on."

He reaches down hesitantly, eyes on you, like it's a trick. He pauses when his hand gets close, still unsure. You glance at the clock.

"You have two minutes."

His fist closes around his aching member and begins pumping as though his life depends on it. You know he won't need a full two minutes, so you tease him while you can.

"Does that feel good?"

He grunts.

"Don't you wish that was my hand? Or my mouth? Or my warm, wet cunt? Too bad you fucked up and made me late this morning, huh?"

His breath grows more ragged. Sweat beads on his forehead.

"Clock's ticking. Do you want to know what's gonna happen if you don't finish in time?"

He whines. You lean forward, purposely pressing your tits together with your arms. He stares at them and licks his lips as he jerks away.

"I'm gonna tie your hand back up," you purr, "and you're gonna lay there all night like a worthless little whore. Hard and alone. Nobody to touch you, or listen to you beg, or…"

His body tenses, and he sprays the sheets that he'll be changing as soon as you untie him.

You sit back and watch him come down with a smirk on your face. You wonder if you should tie his hand back up before you slide your panties off and take care of yourself. Maybe you'd stuff them in his mouth to drown out his whining. Or perhaps, if he asked nicely, you'd leave his hand free and let him get off again while he watched you.

For this, you've got all the time in the world.

[lovequartz]

in the after.

◔pairing: boyfriend!wonwoo x reader

◔genre: established relationship, college au, angst, a bit of fluff

◔warnings: reader deals with the after-math of the sexual assault + semi-suggestive as they do shower together

◔word count: 872

◔ dont let go of me, i won't let go of you

notes: this is a small part two to on the rocks, thanks for all the notes im happy to see people enjoying my writing!

in the after there is jeon wonwoo.

jeon wonwoo who sits beside your hospital bed, and sometimes curls up next to you in it.

wonwoo who makes sure you eat, a spoon raised to your lips to feed you the soup your mother made for you. she says hospitals can take care of almost anything for you but the only thing they can't do is make a home cooked meal.

wonwoo who is so attentive over you that sometimes, when sleep evades you, catch him watching you in your sleep. looking ready to throw down with anyone who might disturb you.

in the after, all you feel towards wonwoo is sorry.

the night the hospital released you back into the real world, he was there to drive you back to campus. your recovery only took a few days, and friends all dropped by to bring you flowers and well wishes. but truly you want to fall into an endless sleep. anything to make you forget. forget that bathroom, forget that party, forget that fucking drink, and most of all forget that monster.

you had almost scrubbed your skin raw the first time you'd been allowed to shower at the hospital. they didn't want you to until they could swab up whatever they could. so you sat, the feeling of his touch crawling all over you like a thousand bugs. burrowing and making a home in your flesh.

you hated the way wonwoo looked at you after you'd come out, catching a glance of the red tinge of your skin. he loved you so much and all you could do to repay him was in suffering. yours and his own.

your dorm was really the same, the same as it was in the before. except all those stupid dresses you tossed on your bed haphazardly were nowhere to be seen, and it smelled clean.

"your mom and esther tidied up a bit, i told them about the hospital discharging you." wonwoo explained as he set the bag of your clothes (the party clothes) near the door. tucking it out of sight.

"okay." is all you can manage to reply before tugging your pants off and crawling into your bed.

wonwoo moves to tuck the blanket up and over your shoulder, your back facing him as your bury your head in your pillows, willing yourself not to cry.

he presses a kiss to your temple "i'll leave you be for a bit, baby. we'll eat something when i come back."

you mumble an "okay" before hearing the door shut and the lock click behind it.

its miserable in the after. but without wonwoo you know it would be worse.

after dinner, wonwoo offers to help you shower. you've been taking them more recently and not wanting what happened at the hospital to happen again wonwoo asked if you would be okay with him joining you.

the initial spurt is ice cold, wonwoo shields you so it hits his side instead. but soon it warms to a comfortable hot and the water pressure evens out as well.

it's nice to be held under a steady stream of hot water. your boyfriend's hand finding yours, lacing your fingers together.

"i love you," wonwoo says suddenly, "and i'm going to be here for you for as long as you'll have me."

you feel his voice reverberating in his chest with your ear pressed there, the rumble something unexpectedly soothing.

"i'm sorry," your voice small, "i'm sorry i can't be normal right now. i'm sorry that i'm burdening you with this. i'm sorry that you're trying so hard for me and all i can do for you is make you suffer more."

wonwoo's free hand comes to cradle your jaw, gently tilting it up so you can meet eyes.

"i love you, baby. i'm here because i love you and im taking care of you because i love you. you will never be a burden to me. you're trying your best everyday and even if you don't see it, i do. so, have a little more faith in me, okay? and a little more in yourself."

you give him a little smile before he closes his eyes and presses his forehead to yours. hot water still cascading over the both of you, wrapping you up in steam and warmth.

you watch wonwoo for a little bit while his eyes are closed. tracing the dip of his brow, curve of his cheek, and the shape of his lips. before you can rethink it you press a quick kiss there, a little grin tugging at your lips as your boyfriend's eyes fly open. they quickly find you own and you think wonwoo would just melt into a puddle if he could, the way his face flushes (not due to the steamy shower).

in the after, intimacy is something you struggled with giving back to wonwoo. not once has he tried to take any from you for himself, even if he was dying for any love you had to give him. you think he deserves this.

"thank you, my love," you say before going in to kiss him again.

in the after, wonwoo still loves you, and you still love him.

notes: well thanks for reading! i really do hope you enjoyed this as well as on the rocks i don't usually tackle topics this dark? raw? in my writing but it's nice to change it up once in a while

[tinkertayler]

Truthfully I haven't felt this deeply depressed and hopeless since my early 20s when I was borderline s**cidal and heavily abusing alcohol to cope. I'm depressed, stressed, anxious, empty, lonely. But above all... I'm angry. I'm so fucking angry.

I'm angry because I worked so hard to get to a positive, stable place mentally, emotionally, and physically. I worked hard, and I DID IT! I actually liked my stupid little life. It wasn't perfect, I had my complaints, but I managed to kick most of my bad habits, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and negative thought patterns to the curb. I stopped binge drinking (and after covid hit, nearly stopped drinking altogether); I left a job I hated for one that felt more satisfying to my soul; I stopped hating, blaming, and belittling myself constantly; I stopped fantasizing about being dead. I started gardening, cooking, running, reading, drinking tea, and feeling excited about shows, movies, and music again. I started being kind to myself; I started to feel confident and content; I started to love myself, finally, for the first time ever.

I carved out a life that I was able to find joy in, even during the worst of times. Even during this endless pandemic! Even within a world that is metaphorically and literally on fire! Even though I have barely seen my family in 16 months! Even with everything else going on, I had coping skills in place and activities that brought me comfort on dark days. I worked on myself and my attitude and my immediate environment and found a way to bring some semblance of joy, structure, and stability to my existence. I created the safest possible space for myself, a peaceful space wherein I could find something resembling contentment. And I was more or less happy.

...But now, all of that is being undone. All of my work. Everything that was safe, joyful, and secure is being pulled out from under me. My home, comfort, stability, and the life I worked so hard to build are being dismantled and I...I can't do anything to stop it. I have no control of the situation. I am uncomfortable in my own home, unable to find joy in my own life, and I don't know what to do about it.

I hate antidepressants and pharmaceuticals in general, I've had unpleasant experiences with them in the past, but I don't know how else to get through this. I just don't want to feel anything because right now, there is nothing good for me to feel. If I were 5 years younger, I would drink a bottle of cheap red wine until I passed out and call it "coping", but I'm not 22 anymore. I know better. I know I can't put my body through that kind of hell again. I just want to take a pill and I want it to do the thing pills do best: prevent me from feeling anything at all. Want to be sad? Can't. Want to be happy? Can't. I want to be emotionally numb because right now, I don't know if there's a better alternative.

What I do know is the constant stress and anxiety, depression and anger... The sleepless, tear-filled nights... The frustrated, tension-headache days... That shit HAS to stop. It is running me down to what is now the point of physical illness, and I can't keep doing it. If I need to take pills to feel numb, then so be it.

[yinses]

—hawks ft. established relationship + dom!keigo + exhibition + overstim

rating: 18+ a/n: thank you so much to @ultimate-astridwriting​ for allowing me to be part of this collab !! it was the shove i needed to get back into the fandom. hawks has always been my favorite hero so i hope to do him justice.

➳ impatient collab masterlist

fist pressed against his cheek, he browsed over the sight before him, taking it all in without considering really any details. fighting a smirk, he cocked an eyebrow.

“i’m not feeling the color. change it for the other one.”

to be frank, he had no particular preferences for color, design, texture or any of that shit–though, he did have a weakness for anything with a pretty flare to it, the air of innocence that he loved to bathe you in with all the frills and fluff. however, it didn’t mean that he wasn’t fond of deciding which palettes suited you best. but he had a specific reason as to why he voiced that particular opinion of his.

sale’s representatives, all mascara-lined eyes and glossy lips, held your hands by your side  in a surrendering position as they paraded you in front of your boyfriend as though this was his own private fashion show. and in a way it was, he’d spent good hard earned money renting out the area for a few hours. enjoying it all from his throne placed perfectly in front of the changing rooms, watching how you were dragged in and out by the forceful employees with him picking out what items you wore.

the clatter of the sale’s girls dragging you back in the changing room again, drew him from his thoughts. you were a flushed mess, struggling to wriggle away from their sharp nails while insisting that you could walk on your own. overall, you'd have been rather accommodating to his whims. but you always were. and as such a good girl, he would reward you for it. for now though, he couldn’t resist giving you a mocking smirk when you tried to grab him and failed miserably at that.

back to the prison of hands again, he noted, as they closed the door behind them and made a fuss over what you disliked and what he wanted. as more girls pecked at you to stay still while they taught you how to wear the clothing properly. outside, keigo waited patiently for them to be done as his eyes travelled from one end of the store to the other, looking at the fancy lingerie and wondering what would actually be perfect for you. but then again, to be painfully honest, you made anything here look good.

and then there's also another fact that he had to come to terms with.

he liked you best without anything on.

with only your bare skin, lying amidst the fluffy pillow with silken sheets tangled around your body. legs demurely spread, hands placed above your head and looking as though you were begging to be dominated. that was certainly the very image of excellence that any man could ever ask for. wanton eyes, warm cheeks, slightly parted lips, panting–ah, but you would gasp wordlessly as he’d stolen your voice many rounds prior. keeping his eyes peeled on the floor, the man shuddered briefly and rolled his shoulders back to remind himself that he was in a store and any further acts of indecency would totally be out of the question. especially when he remembered how you straddled him last night, thighs over his torso. sinking in inch by inch, throwing your head back when he bucked up a bit too hard on you–

"mr. hawks, what do you think of this?"

there you stood, with your hands still raised again, eyes watering under the torment of these awful ladies. biting your lips with warmth tainting your cheeks, hair cascading over your shoulders and meeting the body that was hugged by a pair of lingerie. strapless and curvaceous mounds of yours, covered with a brassiere. a matching panty, complete with small laces forming gathers on the hems as they trailed invitingly towards to garter at your thighs.

he stared.

and blinked.

only once.

"sir?" one of the older females repeated, raising her eyebrows. "…what do you think?"

trying to cover up the fact that his awkward silence was making the room uncomfortable with anticipation, keigo casually leaned backwards and crossed his legs together. his wings fluttered in reflection of his thoughts, rising and falling with each new epiphany. dark eyes walked all over your body, drinking in how your breasts were perfectly pressed together and how your legs trembled when his eyes stopped at the ribbons of the panty. finally hovering over your face, where when eyes met, your blush darkened and you immediately dropped your gaze to your bare feet. he smirked at that sinfully innocent reaction of yours.

coy today, were you not?

without skipping a beat, keigo drew out a card and threw it over to one of the sale’s girls, who fumbled as she tried to catch it with her clammy fingers. eyes still locked at your face, knowing that with his stare alone he was making you feel uncomfortable. and damn, he still loved seeing you squirm around like a virgin on her wedding night.

"i'm taking everything that she tried on just now," he answered loftily, still seated on the cushiony sofa, leaning his head against one arm and letting the other one tap rhythmically on the armrest. when the employees all squeaked out a pathetic noise of agreement, keigo allowed his lips to curve upwards in a smirk as he drawled out the next order; "charge what you need on it, i don't give a shit. and oh, and don't forget to charge what it takes to buy this section for another hour. turn off the surveillance too while you're at it because this area's mine from the time being."

needless to say, their faces instantly decolorized. but they wouldn’t challenge his demands. the brief raise of his massive scarlet wings was an unnecessary reminder as they stretch languidly without threat. he was a hero after all. who were they to challenge a frivolous form of stress relief?

he had no doubt that they had an inkling of what would occur over the next hour or so. but he was certain the gossip would get lost in the rumor mill.

hawks was a rather eccentric individual. what isn’t he up to these days?

keigo had never saw the staff evaporating and clearing the area within less than a minute as they closed off the doors behind them, leaving this particular section untouched for the next event that was about to take place.

it really did not make you feel any better though.

"little dove."

he watched as you jumped, realizing his attention was solely on you now. you raised your eyes to his again, locking eyes with deviously glinting ones. right now, at this moment, keigo knew how much power he held over you, and damn well he was about to abuse his privileges to no end. leaning snugly against the soft backing of the sofa, he cupped his chin with his palm and arrogantly raised an eyebrow when you shuddered under his disturbing gaze. you looked much as though you were lost and backed into a corner with nowhere else to go. keigo smirked; haughty, superior, dominating you single-handedly, and his other hand rose slightly from the armrest.

a single finger curled inwardly.

a low voice

commanding.

"come here, now"

you knew what came from that tone, but the words didn’t ignite the same spark as it did within the safe space of your home.

you only hesitated briefly, but it was still a second to long for his tastes as his lips already began curling down in disappointment. your heart rapped heedlessly against your ribcage, sent spiraling into an off-beat staccato as you quickly tried to alleviate the shift in mood.

never in your relationship had you considered denying keigo. not the man who laid out everything you could have asked for on a silver platter. it's just that-

your feet crossed the minimal distance necessary to appear agreeable though your face still twists in concern.

“really? …. you want to have sex …. here?”

fingertips grapple anxiously while your eyes dart across the empty but still very publicly accessible room.

“now?”

keigo already look bored with the exchange, digits curling once more with something just outside of patience.

“yes, now.”

his wings flex in consideration, yet he doesn’t move to rise form his seat. instead he changes tactics.

“i just want to show a bit of appreciation for all the pretty things i just bought you.’’

it sounds backwards … as if those should be the words coming out of your mouth not his. but the hint doesn’t come any stronger than the easy grin that spreads across his lips. he even makes a show of lounging back against the cushioned seat, body open in invitation should you dare.

and bite you did, teeth nibbling at the bait as you approach. keigo remains still, though his eyes dance with barely contained excitement as you gingerly crawl into his lap, fancy garments already rubbing enticingly against his thighs?.

the flap of his wings welcome gusts of winds and gratitude as his arms curl around you. the hand at your cheek tilts your head up to meet his gaze. it was always so easy for you to get lost in those specks of liquid gold. but now there was hardly any left to admire with the way his pupils were blown wide with lunch.

a shiver tickles your spine and you’re vaguely away that he’s kissing the line of your jaw, whispering soft words of encouragement as his hips raise to rock subtlety. it all left you shuddering in peaked anticipation as your worries melted into the recesses of your mind.

the hand cupping the roundness of your face stops you before you can lean in for more, the nose brushing against the tip of your nuzzling there in brief affection as he garnered the fraying tips of your attention. “yes?”

the fog of arousal abated a little at the question as your conscious thoughts swam back into the surface to input the code that would spiral you into your deepest desires.

“yes,” you verbally consented as you leaned up into him for a needy kiss. keigo swept his tongue out, meeting the the soft upper palate of your mouth with languid strokes. a rumbling trill greets you when you nibble in response. keigo eagerly chases you into a fevor of song and dance, building your body up to the inevitable fall he plans to send you crashing down in.

when he breaks the kiss, his eyes drop to the price tag still resting innocently against the swell of your bosom. he snaps it away from the fabric, uncaring of the threat against its delicacy as he tosses the flimsy paper to the side.

there were plenty more where it came from. and he was yearning to get the real show on the road.

“now then. how could i possibly show my thanks?”

nails dig into his shoulders for purchase as you rock traction into the firmness of his lap. keigo meets the upward curve of your hips with a sneaky dive of his hand between your thighs where his hand warms the skin there. 

you expect him to dip right in, cognitive of the spare time the two of you had to play. but as a dangerous smile twists at his mouth, you realize this is hawks time, a reality that flows differently than everyone else’s. 

“trying to decide if i want you to keep these on or not. “ he contemplates aloud, fingers plucking at the elastic.” i mean it would be a shame to leave them out.”

you nod mutely, ready to agree with whatever favored progression. keigo’s gaze narrowed at the silent insinuation “what? you want to make this into a quickie? but we have so many outfits to try.” 

you already knew that, acutely aware of each and every article of clothing that had been zipped, tied or squeezed around your body. and you were grateful of each and every addition, would even gladly spend the next few weeks letting him fuck you in each variation against your shared mattress at home. 

what you wanted now was for him to come so that you could start that private show within your own walls. 

keigo chooses to go for an adorable pout, lips pulling on aged heart strings, yet managing to make them go taut all the same. he waits until your body soften from the tension, aiding the transition with slow strokes against your back and inner leg. 

“one pair.”

it’s your back that losses his touch in order for him to bring a single finger in front of your face. 

“let me ruin one pair with my come and we can call it quits.”

and you say okay. brining your pelvis back into an enticing dance as you meld that pout into an eager kiss. you were already dressed for the occasion and had all the tips and tricks in your inventory to help him reach his goal. one easy step and you could be on your way.

                                                   how naive you still were. 

eight pair now. he’d brought you near completion just as many times before halting the grind of your hips with a frown. he mad for a rather convincing curator, inspecting each and every pair of to the finest thread. 

‘too blue.’

‘too much lace.’ 

‘it just doesn’t feel right. ‘

‘why don’t we try something else?’

true to his word, keigo had been determined to find the perfect pair to meet him at the edge of nirvana, and dragged you from one painstakingly near orgasm to the next along the way. 

"stop."

you whimpered desperately, pressing your forehead against his shoulder as you forced yourself to remain seated with him throbbing deeply within you. pulsing, hot, too hot. scorching you inwardly and causing strange sensations to sear through your veins. his hands were still on the armrest, they were not on you, they were not driving you crazy with their constant teasing and whatnot this time. because he was not doing anything to make you this crazy when you were already this crazy for him. 

his lips smirked against the shell of your ear, a moist tongue peeking out to leave a wet trail. you fought every inch of yourself to stop your hips from moving again. because of his command, you could not move. you could not bring yourself to move. simply because it was his desire and you could not deny him.

"close?" he murmured darkly into your ear, wispy breath tickling your neck. making a sharp sensation run down your spine, forcing you to arch against him and pressing your bare breasts against his chest. he knew it, he knew that he drove you this wanton for him, all desperate and wanting more.

and yes, you were too close.

too close until one more move, he could make you topple over the chasm of ecstasy without even doing anything to you.

"hmm," he whispered this time, continuing his words with a foreboding edge as his lips brushed against your neck, against your ear, over your cheeks and teeth lightly nipping at your bottom lip.  making you try to kiss him, but he pulled away just like that and watched in sadistic satisfaction when you gave an exasperated groan. "i was too. and then i saw a pretty olive green peeking out of that pile over there."

there was hardly any vigor left in you to groan. 

you pressed your forehead against his slick neck, letting your warm gasps leave his skin, as your head desperately twisted in pinpricks of denied pleasure at his command. it was all a game, one that you could end with a single uttered word from your lips. but you’d never been a quitter, something keigo admired in you. his desires took you on erotic journeys you would have never dared to attempt in prior relationships. perhaps you were becoming just as debauched as he was. 

 there probably wasn’t even fabric of that color lying around and if there was it they weren’t within his eyesight.  keigo was painfully teasing you with this, building up your desire to the most desperate extent because you could not stand anymore. and he knew it too. he throbbed against your walls, the sporadic pulsing sending shrapnel of lust into your loins, and you told yourself that if you were compliant to his orders, then he would surely reward you afterwards.

he would.

he always did.

"okay," he spoke up again, pressing his cheek against yours because he knew that you had if he didn’t end it now, then he wouldn’t get out of it what he wanted. bright eyes were still glowing deviously under the chandeliers of the store, making him appear feral. it provided a visual desire for you to nip his ear, to lick his neck and to kiss his lips.

"you can move now, dove. let’s finish this and go home."

what an alluring goal that was, twinkling encouragingly from finish-line.

you gulped harshly, feeling your legs too weak to push you upwards again.  because he stopped you countless times and made a pleasure overload overrun in your body, turning your limbs to jelly.

a simple shake of your head was all the answer that you could muster.

it was either that or you would faint from the sheer ecstasy.

that made him smirk devilishly again when he looked at you, taut cheeks, lust-darkened blue eyes, a trickle of sweat running down his temple from the amount of restraint he was putting on himself. you felt as though you were opened, taken, torn from within by this man alone when he chuckled, pressing those sinful-stained lips to your forehead.

"maybe if you would beg just right, i’d bother to move."

whining, you shake your head as every cry you knew spilled past your lips. you begged, to pleaded keigo to move so that he would put you out of this torture.  so that he could make you reach that blinding bliss, that your nerves would tighten and your toes would curl. so that you would clench around him tightly, that he could come together with you in this passionate endeavor.

too desperate, nerves tingling with his every wicked command, your shaking hands slowly rose and cupped his cheeks, feeling his soft, flushed skin under your touch and forcing him to look at you in the face. your lashes falling part way over your gaze. plump, bitten lips drawing closer and closer and closer to him and closer and closer and closer with every second.  him slowly moving forward to join his mouth with yours in a desperate kiss, and you suddenly paused, letting only your lips brush against his, not moving forward anymore.

his eyes hardened when he felt your words form at his lips.

please.

it seemed as though playtime was finally over, for now. 

keigo adopted a fast and hard pace, thighs jerking up to meet your earnestly with each slap of skin. the force of his thrust jolted you into a haphazard bounce as you fumbled desperately for traction and stability. each pull and push of your joined bodies was accompanied by a tremulous whimper as you gasped and groaned against the shell of his ear. keigo knew the sweet vocalizations weren’t completely for his sake, but more of the aftershocks of the broken damn as they spilled through the cracks of your lips. 

he still hummed, pleased as his mouth latched onto a pebbled nipple protruding from the fine silk still managing to encase your breast. it was a combination of the gyration of your hips and his own weakening resolve that triggered his own orgasm as he finally let go with broken explicative. 

your own pleasure was brought to you without chase, almost a reward for your efforts as you withered through it. keigo’s quiet praises wash over you like aloe, softening the worst of the burnings sensations as your thighs quake in protest. he nuzzles his face into the side of your neck as his arms encircle you and drag you down with him.

the already too small chaise had to be uncomfortable for his wings with your additional weight but he never voiced a complaint as the rose and fell over your sweaty skin. neither did you, despite the sticky resistance of his spent coating the inside of your thighs. at least you wouldn’t have to walk home in this particular pair. not that you planned on walking period as you grumbled a demands that he would be flying you both home. 

he snickers all while peppering a series of kisses against your nose,” anything you want, little dove.”

[littlestarofthewest]

I'm glad you opened requests again! Your writing is 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻I've been thirsty af for a fic where M!Reader and Arthur are fucking and Arthur manages to make the reader cum without even touching his dick, just pure prostate stimulation (preferably with his dick but fingers are good too). Obviously no pressure to actually write it tho!

Thank you for turning this into a tip request. It was a pleasure to write 😄

In The Deep

Pairing: Arthur x m!reader | Words: 2630 | Rating: Explicit (18+)

You sink deeper into the water, feeling like you're floating on clouds. Since you're used to washing in cold streams or lakes, a hot bath is easily the highlight of your month. That, and your company.

Arthur comes over and puts a towel down on the chair next to the tub. "Let me guess, you'll never come out of there."

"If you keep bringing me hot water when it runs cold."

"Oh no," Arthur says, laughing, "that was a one time deal because you looked miserable. I ain't your maid."

Arthur says so, but you're still wondering why he drew you a bath in the first place. You came here to rob a stagecoach or a train, but Arthur found this homestead instead. It belongs to a wealthy family that likes to stay in the city over the winter.

You could have just robbed it and moved on, but it's well off the grid, and you've been on the road for days. Arthur said you should take the opportunity to relax a little, and now that you're soaking in the water, you have to thank him.

"Sure you don't want in on this?" you say, feeling a little guilty that Arthur went to all this trouble for you.

"Maybe tomorrow; I'm good for now."

Arthur's leaning back on the chair, lighting a cigarette, and you can't help but watch him. You've been doing that ever since you joined the gang. There's just something about Arthur that draws you in.

You've seen him beat and kill people, knowing full well that he's by definition not a good man, and although you're usually suspicious about pretty much everybody, you trusted him from the start. Not that he ever tried to get you there. In fact, you've rarely seen someone who tried so hard not to be loved. You fell for him anyway. 

It all started with little things like a lingering touch while passing a gun or Arthur always picking you to bring along on hunts and jobs. That led to whispered conversations while stalking your prey and sharing a tent during cold nights.

You remember the day at the lake like it was yesterday. Arthur helped you bring in this ridiculously big fish, both of you overjoyed. You've rarely seen Arthur this light-hearted before and couldn't help but kiss him. You sat with him by the fire deep into the night before you cuddled up for warmth. And then…

"What are you thinking about?" Arthur asks, leaning over to look into the tub.

The mere memory of being with Arthur gave you a sizable boner, and you take a deep breath. "You told me to relax, remember?"

"That I did," Arthur says, putting out his cigarette.

He comes over and puts his hands on your shoulders, running them up and in your hair. Then he gets some soap and takes his time to wash you from head to toe. You wish you could tell him to stop, but you've never been pampered like this before. You only get out of the tub when the water finally runs cold, and Arthur helps to get you dry.

"Sure you're not my maid?" you tease.

Arthur only rolls his eyes before putting a quick kiss on your lips. "Come on, you haven't seen the best part."

He leads you into the next room, and you can't quite believe your eyes. The bed is enormous compared to what you're used to, with more pillows and blankets than anybody could ever need.

"Some people live like this all the time," you say with wonder.

"And today, we do as well," Arthur says with a shrug. "Help me out of these clothes."

You're all too happy about that command and open the buttons on Arthur's shirt. He peels himself out of it while you move on to his pants and then the union suit. There aren't many things that you like as much as undressing Arthur. 

Somehow you feel closer then, being the one trusted enough to see Arthur vulnerable. As much as you love him with hat, spurs, and guns, just Arthur is everything to you. 

He's still very much in control, but out of choice rather than appearing so in front of others. You learned early on that Arthur is anything but a dumb brute who only knows force.

The second Arthur's naked, he draws you in for a kiss, but before you can cling to him like a second skin, he leads you to the bed.

"Let's get you in there," he says, and you crawl on top of the sheets.

"Jesus, that's soft," you say, making Arthur chuckle.

He comes after you and moves you around, so you lie flat on the bed. You stretch out your arms and legs, enjoying the space and how you sink a little into the fresh bedding under you.

Arthur crawls over you, kissing you. All of this seems too good to be true, making you think about the alternative. You could be fleeing from the law right now or sit in jail after a robbery gone wrong. 

"Arthur?" you ask, a sudden thought creeping up on you.

"Hm?" Arthur hums while he nibbles on your neck.

"There was no train or stagecoach, was there?"

Arthur answers by kissing along your collarbone and down to your chest. It gets harder to concentrate, but you want to get to the bottom of this.

Did you know about this place before we got here?"

"Maybe," Arthur says, peppering your stomach with kisses.

"Why did you bring me here?" you ask, and finally Arthur looks at you, a grin on his face.

"Pretty sure you know."

Heat rushes to your ears before a shiver runs down your spine. You always enjoy being with Arthur, but it means so much more that he planned this.

"What's Dutch going to do to us when he finds out that we didn't rob anything?" you ask.

"Don't worry about that," Arthur says. He moves back up along your body, placing soft kisses here and there until his face is hovering over yours. "Worry about what I'm going to do to you."

Arthur looks serious, and although you know that he'll never push you farther than you can handle, your heart pumps faster. You lift your head, coaxing Arthur into kissing you. It's soft and slow at first, but you can feel Arthur between your legs, so you roll your hips, rutting against him.

"Something you want?" Arthur asks, and you answer by pressing yourself against him.

"Pretty sure you know," you say, making Arthur grin.

He gives you a quick kiss before diving to the end of the bed, and when he comes back, he's holding a small bottle. "Let's get you nice and ready for me."

A tingling feeling takes hold of your whole body, and you wonder if you'll ever be with Arthur without it happening. For now, you let it wash over you and spread your legs, showing Arthur that you're more than willing to get ready.

Arthur takes his time, using a lot of oil that he rubs around your hole before carefully pushing his finger in. You'd be okay with him being more forward, but Arthur seems to be in a certain mood today. 

After taking care of you in the bath, he goes deliberately slow now, pushing his finger in in slow motion, always giving you time to adjust. By the time he actually moves his finger in and out, you're ready to beg for more.

"How does this feel?" Arthur asks, and you sigh.

"Great."

"Good," Arthur says, moving his finger again, and for a moment, it feels weird, like he's looking for something.

A jolt runs through your body when Arthur hits a particular spot, and you suck in the air through your teeth. Arthur puts his other hand on your stomach, rubbing in a circle. "Just relax."

"I'm trying," you say, but the sensation is strange. "It feels like I have to pee."

"That's normal, don't worry about it."

"Normal?" you ask, realizing that Arthur planned this as well. "What are you up to?"

"You trust me, right?" Arthur asks, his voice serious.

"Of course."

"Then let me take care of you. Just breathe and relax. I promise you'll enjoy it," Arthur says, before adding with a chuckle, "you're not going to pee. Don't worry about that."

You take a few shaky breaths before there's a regular rhythm to it again, and like Arthur said, you try your best to unclench your muscles.

The way Arthur strokes this one spot inside of you still feels weird, but when you breathe deeper and begin to trust that you won't pee yourself, the touch becomes more and more pleasurable. 

It's similar to having your dick pumped but also so different. The arousal seems to pool deeper inside of you but still has you standing rock hard. 

"See? You're doing just fine," Arthur says, and his voice makes it even easier for you to just let it happen. 

Arthur moves his other hand now, running it up to your chest and neck, caressing your thighs and teasing your nipples with soft touches that rile you up just enough, so you roll your hips. 

Meanwhile, Arthur doesn't stop stroking you, and you can't help looking down. Your cock is leaking way more than your usual precome, and a jolt of anxiety rushes through you.

Arthur must notice since he catches your eye and stops his movements for a moment. "Hey, look at me. It's alright, that's normal, too."

"Sorry," you say, reminding yourself that Arthur would never hurt you.

"Don't worry," Arthur says, going back to teasing you, "you're alright."

He leans in to pepper you with soft kisses wherever he can reach but leaving out your dick. Instead, he keeps up the pressure inside of you.

Once you stop thinking so much about it and focus on Arthur's touches instead, your whole body seems to grow warm from the inside, with your cock twitching in excitement. You roll your hips, your body sinking in the bedding as if you want to melt, and your breathing grows even slower. 

"Now, that's a good boy," Arthur says, his voice like a gentle caress. "You're doing so good."

Just listening to him always adds to your pleasure, and as you welcome the way he teases you more and more, your arousal grows. You're warm and relaxed, but your dick begs to be touched, and you can't hold in quiet moans when Arthur's finger hits you just right. 

"I need more," you say while Arthur touches every inch of your body except your dick.

"More?" Arthur asks, and you know that he wants you to actually spell it out.

"I want you inside of me."

Arthur gets the oil again, using more on you and his cock before crawling over you. You can't hide your excitement, but again, Arthur doesn't quite give you what you want.

He teases you with the tip of his cock, rubbing with enough pressure to drive you crazy but never pushing in. 

"Please, Arthur," you whine, "I need it so bad."

"Tell me," Arthur says, his voice deep and unyielding. 

"I want you to fill me up and make me lose my mind. I'll do anything. Please."

Finally, Arthur pushes into you, but just like he did with his finger, he stretches you open with his cock as slowly as he possibly can, even holding still once in a while.

The treatment makes you grab the sheets under you, and you buck your hips. "God, I beg you, Arthur. Please, please more."

"Someone's needy," Arthur chuckles, and you run your fingers over his chest, your nails digging into the skin.

"Please," you say again, the word coming from deep within, and Arthur must hear it in your voice.

He pushes as deep as he can go, filling you up. You sigh, a little bit of the build-up pressure leaving your body. Then Arthur kisses you again, his body lined up so perfectly with yours that you feel completely at ease. Arthur's weight on you, his scent, his lips on yours, it's home for you now.

Arthur rolls his hips, hot and heavy inside of you, and with his body trapping your dick between the two of you, you're right back to being on edge. You'd be happy to keep going like this, now that you're on familiar ground, but Arthur has other plans.

After a long kiss, he gets in a kneeling position, lifting your legs up over his shoulders. You're about to ask why but Arthur pushes into you, hitting that spot again.

"Jesus Christ," you moan, your body tensing up for a moment from the surprise.

"Relax," Arthur says, running his warm hand over your stomach. "That's all you have to do. I'll do the rest."

You take a deep breath, and like you did before, you lean into the feeling. Arthur's movements are slow and deliberate, quickly building up that hot sensation you noticed before.

When you close your eyes, Arthur pets your thigh. "That's good. Open up for me."

You're torn between looking at him and just focusing on yourself, but soon it becomes quite hard to miss what's going on. It's like Arthur is setting fire to your lower body. 

Looking at him as he holds on to your hips to thrust into you makes matters even worse. Your dick twitches like crazy, still untouched, and you're not sure how much longer you can take this.

"Arthur, please," you groan, having a hard time even catching your breath, "I need more."

"You're doing so good; just give it time."

You don't have a chance to argue, not with the way Arthur changes his rhythm. You can feel him deep inside of you, adding to the heat, and his voice becomes constant torture.

"God, I love watching you like this," Arthur says. "You're doing so good for me."

Listening to him makes you melt, and when Arthur thrusts into you with shorter bursts, something inside of you suddenly gives. It feels like a volcano erupts behind your cock, hot lava making its way up and down your body, sending heatwaves to the tips of your hair. 

"Arthur," you gasp, and he smiles.

"You're such a good boy. Let it happen. Come for me."

Every push of him drives you almost insane, your thighs shaking, and every muscle cramping in your body. Your cock pulses between your legs, and you stare in surprise at your own dick as you shoot your come onto your belly.

The relief that follows lingers just like your orgasm did, in a way that you've never experienced before. You close your eyes and just breathe, trying to burn that feeling into your memory.

Arthur slips out and lies down next to you, kissing your cheek. "You alright?"

You sigh before you turn to him to steal another kiss. "What the hell have you done to me?"

Arthur chuckles. "Why?"

"It never felt like this before," you say, caressing his chest with your fingertips. "You have to do that again."

"I think you're better off with a break," Arthur says with a smile.

You run your hand further down before you follow the same line with your lips. "You're right; let's take care of you first."

Unlike Arthur, you don't play it slowly but suck his cock into your mouth, eager to pay him back.

"Jesus Christ," Arthur curses, holding on to the sheets like you did. "Fine, you're a good boy. I'll do it again, I promise."

You hum around his cock, happy to apply what you already know, and you can't wait for Arthur to teach you more.

[deepperplexity]

Prompt: 15. Snowmen

A/N: So I had in mind something light and funny, some payback for past hurt if you will. It turned out to be quite deep in the end though and I really don't know what happened. But I feel like it was, good..?

Setting: The forest between Hogsmeade and The Shrieking Shack

Characters: Severus, James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, Lily (their 5th year at Hogwarts)

Word count: 1724

Warnings: Bullying, Retaliation, Past hurt, Broken friendships, Some funny stuff too

Masterlist page // Masterlist post // SNAPEMAS POST

They had been taunting him, for so long. Snowballs, leg binding jinxes, ice under his feet - it just went on and on. Severus was at his wit's end by the middle of December. Everywhere he went they seemed to be, no matter where he tried to hide they seemed to find him, despite his best efforts to not let it bother him he was fuming. No matter what, the Marauders always seemed to get the last laugh. Well, not today, he thought as the visit to Hogsmeade was reaching its end.

He had found a jinx, intended for joy he presumed by the notes in the margin. But he had other plans for it. They were always four against one - but not this time. No, this time he would have backup. Just one more, he thought as he looked around at the four snowmen he had spent over an hour making. Just one more and I'm set, he thought again with something that resembled a wicked smile of hope.

He knew they would come, knew they were looking for him, knew they wanted to get one last laugh out of the Hogsmeade visit. He had known before they ever even went on the little trip. So he had planned and planned, hoped he'd be able to get some revenge that wouldn't get he himself into too much trouble. Hopefully, no trouble at all if he could help it. They always get away with the foulest of shit so why shouldn't I?

Just as he put the last head on the last snowman so they outnumbered the Marauders he heard snow being crushed under many boots. It was time. He hid behind a tree a little ways away from where he could see it all. He tensed when laughter reached him, James's laughter. An evil sound that made him shiver.

"Oh, what's this? Someone's built snowmen," Remus said with a curious voice and chuckles were heard. Severus looked at the Gryffindor boys as they walked closer to the snowmen. He kept his wand ready.

"Would be a shame if they were to, get destroyed, wouldn't it?" James chuckled and Severus saw the evil gleam in his eyes. It made his stomach turn.

The Marauders stiffened as the snowmen looked at them with evil grins of rocks and twigs. Their long arms reach for the snow around them and in an instant, they started throwing snowballs at the boys who seemed chocked. They got pounded by snowballs and Severus could barely contain his laughter as they fumbled around while trying to cover their heads. It was glorious.

Sirius laughed, Peter snickered and Remus seemed tired of his friends' shenanigans.

"Don't destroy them," Remus said but the others just laughed as they walked closer with determined steps. Severus flicked his wand and used nonverbal magic to make them come alive. With a single purpose. To throw snowballs at people.

James stumbled and fell backwards, Peter ran around like an idiot while Sirius skipped around in an effort to avoid as many slinging snowballs as possible while Remus - a bit more calm and collected - seamed to be the only one who even thought of using magic to shield himself from the onslaught. Not that it was enough. The snowmen surrounded the boys and snowballs came from all directions.

Severus saw Remus roll his eyes as he aimed the wand at the snowman closest to him. Fire burst out of his wand as he said 'incendio' but Severus had been clever. A fire repellent charm laid over the jumping snowmen and the look on Remus's face was unforgettable as his magic did little to no damage on the snowball-throwing snowmen.

Severus snickered as he peeked out from behind the tree.

"Do something!" James screamed.

"Like what?!" Sirius hollered back with a pissed off expression as his curly hair got whiter and whiter. Severus had to cover his mouth so as not to laugh out loud and reveal himself.

"Anything!" James screamed back as he crawled around in the snow on his hand and knees.

"It's not working!" Sirius shouted out.

"I damn well noticed!" Remus smeared back and they gathered in a lump in the middle of the snowman circle.

"Run for it!" James said with a frantic voice as the snowmen inched closer, the snowballs hit harder and they seemed at a total loss for what to do.

"Now?" Peter piped up.

"Now!" James declared as they all barrelled out of the circle, the snowmen instantly hot on their tail with bouncing jumps.

Severus laughed out loud and crumbled to the ground as the chaos ran away with shouts and ducking heads. He knew the spell would only last for about another minute but by Merlin did he hope they got thoroughly wet and cold in that time. Almost a shame they don't know it's my handy work, he thought as he wiped away tears of laughter from his eyes.

"I should have declared myself so they'd know I'm the one who got them hunted by snowball-throwing snowmen," he sighed out as he rose from the crouched position.

"Oh don't worry, they will."

Severus whipped around at those words, that voice. His eyes were met by an angry-looking Lily and he paled somewhat by the sight of her.

"Really, Severus? Snowmen throwing snowballs?" She crossed her arms over her chest and Severus shrugged. Even if it felt a little less fun now that Lily was angry with him.

"You could have at least added some snow spewing dragons while you were at it," she snickered out and Severus's eyes widened as Lily's face turned from sour to sweet. A little grin etched over her lips.

He chuckled as the idea formed in his head, the vision of dragons spewing snow while hunting the Marauders alongside the bouncing snowmen.

"Sorry to say I'm not that great a snow sculptor," he chuckled out as his shoulders relaxed a bit.

"You're, not mad?" he asked carefully. She blew a raspberry and rolled her eyes.

"I don't agree with the behaviour but all things considered you did payback in a good way, I suppose," she said on a chuckle, "I know they are mean to you and I'm sorry for that, but you shouldn't stupe to their level." Severus arched a brow at her words.

"But dating one of them is fine?" Lily's face hardened at that.

"Who I date is none of your concern."

"I know, and who I throw snowballs at with the help of some snowmen is none of your concern."

They glared at each other, Lily offended and Severus angered.

"You really know how to ruin a good time," he muttered as the joy he had felt mere moments ago disappeared.

"You really know how to ruin friendships," she countered with and her words stung. More so than any words ever said by the Marauders.

"It wouldn't be so hard to be friends if you weren't a bully lover," he bit out as anger rose in him. And hurt, hurt from her betrayal and all the times she just stood by as he was tormented for merely existing and being different. She gasped at that and fisted her hands by her sides.

"Well if you weren't so insecure you would have known I loved you as a friend despite it all!"

"Despite what?! Despite being bullied? Abused? Terrorised? Hunted by bullies you so dearly love?!" Severus roared with pounding heart and heaving breaths. She glared at him with a shake of her head as she apparently had no words to retort with.

He sunk to the ground. The joy from his retaliation had gone away and left was only self-loathing and fear. For he was truly scared Lily's words would be true, that he would be miserable and alone. Why did I have to say that? She was trying, by Merlin... He thought but his feelings were to hurt by her. She had cut too deep with her betrayal and even if she wanted to be friends again he could not forgive her for all the years he had cried and all the pain he had gone through every time she just let them bully him. Without a chiding word at them or a helping hand for him. All is not meant to be forgiven. Everyone does not earn forgiveness. He thought to himself as the memories flooded him with pain.

She walked past him and turned her head.

"They'll know, I'll make sure of that." Severus sneered at her.

"Go ahead, tell them. Let's see what happens after that. Who knows, perhaps this time they'll do it properly and finish me off. Wouldn't that be quite something?"

"At least it would be better than spending your life miserable and alone, 'cus that's what you'll be in the end, Snape," she said with venom in her voice, "I tried to be nice to you, just a moment ago. And look what it got me. Insults."

"There would have been no insults if the words weren't true." She huffed at that and stomped away without another word.

He wanted to forgive her, to move on and leave the past in the past but how could he do that when they were at every turn with their utmost efforts to make his life hell. When she held James's hand and laughed at his jokes despite the fact that James was a horrible person. How was he supposed to let it go and move on when he was hurting so badly? How was he supposed to tell her that the bullying was nothing compared to her indifference of his pain? How was he supposed to smile when it felt like a lie?

Perhaps he would indeed vanish one day and be rid of the whole ordeal that was life. Perhaps he'd just melt, like snow in the warmth of the spring sun. Perhaps he'd just stop living like the snowmen who, by now, was just snow, twigs and rocks again. Perhaps it would be so. But there was a chance that life had something else planned for him and he would hold on to that thought until the very end, even if it turned out to be mere dust in the wind of the storm that was unfulfilled wishes throughout eternity.

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Tags: @lizlil @snapefiction  @morphineisouthoney​ @setsuna-meiou31​ @snapefiction​

[Dec:2020]

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Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Two

Hey, guys!! This shit is a LONG chapter so buckle up. I decided (y'all are tired of me doing this I know) to explain Viv's tripping on edibles in the next chapter (posting Monday night) so this chapter takes place after she trips balls, but don't worry, you guys will see that hot mess Express in a few days in flashback form.

Also, @sharon6713 makes youtube videos (here's her masterlist [my favorite of her's is this gem right here for obvious reasons]) anyway, she's been supporting me and my story for a loooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnngggggggg time and I need to return the favor so if you guys have any motley crue, the dirt cast, or any other fandom requests for video content, she's the plug.

If you are interested here is her request form

Again, thank you guys, I love you, and please enjoy the chapter!!

Words: 8.1k

Warning(s): Explicit language, mentions of Drug abuse, violence, explicit sexual situations

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I press my lips to Duff's cheek, then his jaw, then his neck, his chest, his abdomen…

He groans, his eyes tightening a moment as he stretches, his hand in my hair as my lips press just below his navel and he looks at me. 

"Good morning." I say to him, giving one last kiss to his skin before he's pulling me up to peck at his lips. 

"Good morning." He replies as I lay beside him, my leg swung over his waist, my cheek against his left bicep. 

"Did you sleep good?" I ask him next and he nods. 

"Did you?"

"Yeah." I reply, kissing his cheek again, and he grins.

"Okay, if you're gonna be all lovey, I'm gonna go brush my teeth." He goes to sit up but I stop him. 

"No." I whine, keeping him to the bed with my leg. 

"Viv, I probably taste like vodka and cigarettes." He complains with a chuckle. 

"I don't care." I insist and he looks at me. "What? It doesn't bother me." 

He shakes his head a little, brushing my hair out of my face before he kisses me again, and I push my tongue past his lips, sighing when he wraps his arm tighter around my waist.

When we pull away, I notice an abnormality in his right bicep, a wedge shaped scar, and furrow my brows a little. 

He notices and looks at his arm.

"It was a water skiing accident at this lake when I was like 13. I was pulled under and the muscle was stripped from here," his fingers grazing from his elbow to his shoulder, "all the way up here. I almost drowned." He informs me, and I look at him, the thought of him drowning at age twelve is hard to think about. "I saw the light and just felt the warmth of people that had passed on that I knew...it was weird, but, like, it wasn't scary. It happened really fast." He adds. 

"Are you scared to die, now?" I ask him out of curiosity and he shakes his head a little, his fingers brushing against my cheek. 

"No. I'm not. After that experience I decided it's gonna be a good place I go when I die." He states and I smile. 

"I can't imagine you going anywhere but some place good, Duff. You're too kind to go anywhere else." I assure him and he chuckles a little, before kissing at my hand. 

"What about you?" He asks and I let out a breath. 

"I'm not scared of death in the sense of where I'm going afterwards, I know where I'm going and it's no place to be scared of...it's just how I'm going to die, when I'm going to die, and the effect it will have on my loved ones. That's what scares me." I explain. "But at the same time I wouldn't want to know how I'm going to die, or when, or what happens to everybody after I go." 

"Well, no, because that would be a bummer looming over you constantly." He points out. 

"Exactly." I agree. "I'll go whenever God's decided my work here is done, but if he can just let me pass peacefully in my sleep, I won't mind." 

"No strokes, no getting shot, no weed brownie…" he trails off starting to laugh and I try not to laugh. "...overdoses." he manages to get out through his laughter.

"It's not funny." I tell him, biting my cheek to keep from chuckling.

"Or crab infestations." He adds. 

"You are so funny. Wow." I cut my eyes at him. 

"Hey, look, I coulda told ya not to eat brownies from Stevie and Slash's room and not to sleep in the same bed as Stevie after a night of him hooking up with several different girls, but I thought that was common sense, Viv." He attempts to speak with a straight face, failing miserably. 

"It took me years to grow hair down there, Duff, and now I look like a thirteen year old all over again, and I had to be fumigated. It's not funny." I finally laugh with him and he rubs his face that's turning red with how funny he finds it that the same night I got stoned shitless off edibles, I slept in the same bed as Steven and woke up with pubic lice. 

"Vivian, c'mon, it'll grow back." He tries to make me feel better. "There wasn't that much down there to begin with, so it's not like--"

"--Shh! I didn't say that so we could have an in depth conversation about my situation down there." I tell him, my face turning red. 

"Viv, baby, I've had my face down there, okay? I've been all up in your situation."

"Duff--"

"--You've been all up in my situation, too, it's nothin--" 

"--Ahh!" I squeal a little, covering my ears and burying my face in my pillow. 

"Hey, you came in the other night talking all types of dirty, and then last night when you were tripping on those brownies you had me blushing pretty freaking bad, and now you get all embarrassed when I'm just stating a fact: we've both had our faces all up in each others'--"

"--Okay, okay, I get it, I get it." I'm blushing so badly I feel the heat of my blood in my face. 

"Alright, alright, I'll stop." He tells me. 

"Thank you." I uncover my face and take a breath, snuggling closer against him.

"...I never noticed you have, like, three cute little freckles down there, though, until there was no hair covering them up." He says next.

"Duff, hush!" I put my hands over his mouth and he bursts into laughter again.

"So, what? You have freckles everywhere. It's cute, Viv." He tells me when he gets away from me and catches his breath. 

"Yes, a higher risk of developing melanoma is cute." I reply sarcastically as he sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed, about to get up. "Where are you going?" I ask him as he stands up and stretches. 

"I've got rehearsal in an hour." He tells me. "Remember?"

"Oh...right." I mumble.

"C'mon, Viv, don't sound so enthused." He steps to the bathroom and turns on the shower. 

"C'mere really quick." I tell him, and he sticks his head out of the bathroom. 

"What is it?" He asks me as I go to the foot of the bed.

"Just come here for a second." I repeat and he does, raising his brows. "Do you have to go?" I ask him blinking up at him. 

"Yes, I do, and you do too because if neither of us goes that's gonna get people to thinking." He pokes the tip of my nose. 

"Okay." I roll my eyes. 

He kisses me for a split second before going to take his shower. 

I didn't want to go to the bands' rehearsals, I didn't want Duff to go anywhere, I just wanted the both of us to stay locked in that room together and the rest of the world to go the hell away.

He comes out in light wash, lace-up jeans, his Billy Idol tshirt, and his chain that he has around his neck with the small lock hung on it the way Sid Vicious used to wear. 

He's sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling one black cowboy boot on, looking around for the other one that I stole so he can't leave. 

"Viv, have you seen my other boot?" He asks me while I've got it hid under the covers, glancing at the nightstand to remind myself my crucifix is still there.

I stand up on the bed and slip it on my right foot before walking as best I can to him on the mattress before slipping my leg over his shoulder, my foot adorned by his boot resting on the top of his thigh. 

He looks down at it and then up at me, speechless when he sees I'm not completely naked, wearing nothing but his boot and his cream colored cowboy hat. 

I look down at him innocently, knowing exactly what I'm doing and he knows it, but he doesn't call me out on it. 

He just looks at his boot, slowly pulling it off my foot before pressing his lips to my knee before he turns to completely face me, kissing at my inner, lower thigh, and inching higher. 

Right before he can reach his target I'm plopping to my knees on the mattress, his hat nearly falling off of me, making me giggle as my hand flies up to keep it in place for a second, before he's leaning down to kiss me again, his hand grabbing at my bare ass, using that as leverage to pull me completely against him. 

I feel him through his jeans and have to rub my thighs together, eager for him to be in me, before I'm pushing at his chest, causing him to fall back on his back with a little laugh as I crawl over him, the junction of my thighs resting on the tent in his jeans, making him curse under his breath when I lean forward and kiss him, rocking my hips, delicious friction causing a hunger to snake up through my core. 

"I, uh, see the use of the hat now." He gets out through little breaths as I grind against him again, my teeth teasingly pulling at his bottom lip.

"Mhm." I grin, my fingers beginning to untie the string of his pants.

"Before you do that," he starts and I raise my brows, resisting the urge to moan when his finger tips run up and down my spine before giving my thighs a nice squeeze. "I was wondering if you could ride something else first…" he suggests and I'm confused for a millisecond before he slyly runs his tongue along his bottom lip. "...you know, just to get good and broken in, first." He adds and I bite my lip, leaning down and kissing him, again, my tongue dancing with his.

"I will ride anything you want me to." I reply, my lips brushing against his. 

Duff was slowly becoming accustom to the fact that I wasn't sweet innocent vanilla Vivian he had suspected I was...although I'm not sure how the hell he thought Nikki survived sex with me all those years if I didn't adapt to or like the same stuff he did, and Nikki was (and still is) into some weird, nasty, debauched shit, so learning to get into what Duff was in to was a lot easier to do than Duff trying to get in to what I was in to.

"Ah!" I giggle out with a moan laced around it, my thighs tensing as Duff's tongue continues to lap against my clit, holding me to his mouth with his hands at my hips as I can't help but grind in rhythm with his tongue, my hands palming at my chest, adding to the heat spreading in my core. "Duff, tha--oh fuck." I gasp out when he softly nips at the sensitive bud, and I can feel his smile at the sound of my pleasure. "That feels so good." I assure him, my head leaned back, my hands bracing on his chest that's beginning to have a thin sheen of sweat over it and I can't help but to lean down, my tongue running across his skin for a moment before I'm reaching for his cock, nearly drooling at the beading precum. 

I run my tongue across the slit of his tip and he jumps in his skin, not expecting it, making me chuckle to myself before he's sliding two fingers into me, my eyes rolling back at the combination of him finger fucking me while eating me out and I bite my tongue to keep from calling him "daddy" because I remember it freaking him out the other night when I was stoned and called him that.

I moan when I wrap my lips around him and slowly bob my head up and down, enjoying the feeling of him tensing up and trying to keep concentrated in pleasuring me. 

My tongue snakes against his length with each thrust, my tongue savoring every bit of his taste because he sure as fuck is savoring every bit of mine. 

He nearly jumps again when my hand gently massages his balls, making him moan into me. 

I take him out of my mouth, keeping my other hand at his base, jacking him off while I catch my breath before I'm spitting on him, taking him back into my mouth, picking up my pace. 

His grip on my hips tightens when I deep throat him, trying to relax to keep from gagging, but I end up doing it anyway, and I hear him curse under his breath. 

I try one more time and manage to get his entire shaft down my throat to the hilt without gagging, and his hand comes down onto my ass cheek, hard, making me cry out around him as he starts hammering his fingers into me, the wet, sloppy sounds of my sex being played with filling the room and I catch my breath when I pull him out of my mouth, moving my hand up and down his cock at the same speed he's moving his fingers into me. 

My pussy tightens around his fingers while his tongue swipes across my clit a few more times before my cum is wetting at his mouth as "Duff" cracks through my lips while I'm gasping for breath. 

He lets out a hum as he drinks it all in, swiping his tongue from my cunt to my clit, making sure none of it goes to waste. 

When he's done, he's pushing at my waist, moving me off of him.

I roll onto my back, coming down from my high, my chest heaving with heavy breaths as he moves to hover above me, his pure, genuine smile nearly melting my heart. 

I grin at him, leaning up and kissing him as he runs his hand down my side and reaches between us to align himself with my entrance. 

We watch each other as he slowly pushes into me, the feeling of him filling me as much as he can causing my toes to curl, and my legs to wrap around his hips. 

"Are...Are you okay?" He asks me, his forehead against mine and I lick my lips and nod. 

"Yeah." I tell him. "Are you?" 

"Yeah." He replies. 

"Are you gonna move or…?" I ask next and he takes a nervous breath. 

"Duff, I'm fine, I promise." I assure him. 

"I know you are but--" I cut him off, pulling his lips to mine, my tongue moving with his as I tighten my legs around him, causing him to move against my cervix, making the both of us let out moans. 

He pulls out of me before pushing back in, slowly, taking a few more thrusts before he picks up his pace, taking my moans and whimpers as cues that he's doing good. 

"Harder." I say in his ear, and he looks at me for a second. "You're not gonna hurt me, baby." 

He nervously licks his lips before pushing into me more frantically, his prick being forced into me to the hilt, which sends a deliciously painful shock through me, causing me to arch underneath him, my nails clawing down his back, making him groan out, only resulting in him going harder into me. 

"It feels so good." I say, whimpering, my fingers in his blonde hair as his tongue and lips are on the skin of my neck.

"You feel so good." He tells me and I bite my lip.

"Can you do something for me?" I ask him, trying to concentrate on my words as he fucks me, the eagerness on his face to please me making me confident that he'll play into my suggestion. 

"Yeah?" He slows down some, purposefully rooting himself balls deep in me, and I have to keep my eyes from fucking crossing. 

I take his hand and put it around my neck, my hand closing over his fingers to manually tighten them around my throat. 

"You're not gonna hurt me." I assure him, seeing his hesitant facial expression. "Even though I wouldn't be mad if you did." I add, moving my hand from his, and he slowly squeezes at my throat little by little, until it's a comfortable pressure, not as extreme as Nikki's, but enough to make me feel like I'm being completely dominated.

"So wet." He says, and I can already feel a puddle forming under me. 

I hum, taking my index and middle fingers and reaching down, gathering some of my slick juices, holding them to his lips and he doesn't slow his movements as he sucks my fingers into his mouth, cleaning them off, before he leans down and kisses me, allowing me to taste myself on his tongue. 

"Duff." I say, my stomach knotting up, his hand around my throat, his pounding into me, his eyes watching every moment of my oncoming orgasm, welcoming the the pressure building up before it's releasing, my walls contracting around him.

"Oh, jesus, Viv." He groans out, and I smile, kissing him, the taste of vodka and cigarettes on his tongue, but I don't care. 

I can feel that he's about to finish, too, and when he's about to pull out, I'm mustering up the energy to flip us over.

"Just come in me." I say, pressing a small kiss to his lips, moving my hips down so he goes to the hilt in me. 

He lets out a moan when I lick up his neck as he unloads into me, a soft hum slipping past my lips at the feeling. 

I take deep breaths and roll off of him when he's finished, pulling the covers up to my chest as he glances at me, trying to catch his breath. 

"We really gotta start using condoms or something, Viv." He tells me, his knuckle brushing against my cheek before he turns on his side to face me. 

"Won't make a difference." I let out before I can think about it, and he furrows his brows. 

"If you get knocked up, it will." He replies.

I don't answer, sitting up and going to the bathroom to shower off. 

He follows right behind me, and when we're done, we're coming back into the room to the sound of the phone ringing off the hook. 

"Hello?" I answer it without a thought, realizing this isn't my room. 

If it would have been anyone other than one of the members of Guns, or Fred, I would have been screwed.

"Hey, um, not to be rude or anything, Viv, but um, where the fuck is Duff at?" Slash asks me and I remember their fucking rehearsal. 

I look at the clock and see we're an hour and a half late for it. 

"Holy shit." I say.

"And Doc's running around trying to find you, too…" he adds as Duff quickly gets his clothes back on. 

"Just stall, okay? We're coming--and don't mention that me and him are with each other right now." I plead.  

"I won't, but Duff's gonna get his ass chewed: Axl's fucking pissed." He informs me.  

"It wasn't Duff's fault, tell Axl he can get on to me all he wants, but leave Duff out of it. We'll be there in a few minutes. Bye." 

"Bye." 

We hang up and I rush to put clothes on, Duff and I not saying a word to each other as we finish getting ready--but I can tell he's pissed. At me or himself is to be determined. 

One of the most admirable traits Duff possesses is the fact that music is so important to him, he made it a standard that he'd never allow anything to interfere with his effort put forth towards his responsibility in bands he's a part of. 

He was never late to a rehearsal unless there was a good reason, and if he was going to be late he called ahead, he was never too drunk or high to play at a show...he never put anything else he had going on before his band. 

Guns N' Roses, even back when he was drinking and drugging heavily, was no exception. He might not have remembered a bit of the shows played at the peak of his addiction, but he played them well enough that nobody could hear him and say, 'he's really out of it'. The closest he ever got to playing messy on stage was during the Freddie Mercury tribute concert at Wembley, when he was so messed up that when artists gathered to sing "We Are the Champions", he couldn't walk, so Elton John had to practically drag him up on stage to the 50 person chorus line and he took full advantage of the shoulders on either side of him to keep himself upright while Liza Minnelli sung lead.

That was possibly the straw that broke the camel's back in terms of deciding maybe Monroe didn't need to witness his father spiraling as much as he had been. 

He had plenty of his own issues that were at risk of getting before the band, but women getting in the way of his duty to his band? Never happened. 

Except on the tour with Mötley Crüe, and that was what caused Axl and the guys to realize we weren't just hooking up if Duff was willing to let me get in the way of his commitment to the band.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Axl snaps at Duff as he steps to the stage and I take a seat in one of the audience chairs, Sparkie glancing between Duff and I from where he's at standing up, his eyes cut slightly, while Tansy's asleep in the chair closest to him. 

"Axl, I know, man, okay?" Duff replies, knowing he's fucked up. 

"We're talking about this later, don't fucking think this is over." He warns him before glaring at me. 

Fred makes a beeline for me, his brows raised. 

"What the hell, Viv?" He asks me under his breath. 

"Are the gu--" he cuts me short. 

"--Nikki's so fucked he doesn't even realize we're running behind and Tommy and Vince are screwing around with some chicks they picked up on the way over here, Mick's drinking…" he trails off, disappointment all over his features. 

"I know, Fred, I know I messed up." 

"You can't possibly be serious about carrying on with him on this tour without telling anybody." He refers to Duff and I let out a breath. 

"I can't tell Nikki or he'll be pissed and might kick the guys off the tour." I say. 

"So you're just gonna screw someone else without thinking to tell him?" 

"He did it to me." I point out. 

"If he finds out from anyone else--"

"--Which he won't." 

"But if he does, Vivian, I don't want him to take that out on you." He explains. 

"He won't find out, okay?" I promise him. "We'll be more careful, Fred." 

He lets out a breath and relents. 

"Fine, Viv. Fine." 

The moment Guns finishes up and let's Mötley Crüe take over, I see what Fred means about Nikki.

His eyes are completely void, his shell being taken over by heroin, only able to play through muscle memory.

He's so fucked up. 

Apparently I'm not being subtle, and he catches me looking at him, completely stopping his playing altogether in the middle of "All In The Name Of…" 

"The fuck are you staring at?" he snaps at me. 

"Nothing." I mumble, standing up to walk backstage. 

I don't have the energy to argue with him and if he spends what's left of his energy arguing with me, he'll pass out. 

When I get backstage, I hear Axl's muffled voice in what's set to be their dressing room...and I realize he and Duff and the guys are in there.

I press my ear to the door out of curiosity, but I end up regretting it as I hear Axl bark out:

"She's a fucking problem!" 

"I know I held everybody up but it's not her fault, it's on me." Duff explains.

"If anybody was paying enough attention to realize you two had to have been off together, they can tell somebody and we're fucked, Duff, do you fucking realize that? And if they kick us off this tour and talk shit to the press it's gonna take us longer to get to our goal and you're gonna be responsible for letting a piece of ass get in the band's way." Axl states. 

"I know." Duff replies, not arguing. He sounds too embarrassed and disappointed to argue. 

"And if this happens again, I'll tell Doc so he'll keep a tighter leash on her so she won't get herself or you into anymore fucking trouble on this tour." It's his final promise, and I hear him stepping to the door, making me scramble to hide behind the corner of the wall as he snatches the door open and stomps off in the other direction. 

Duff being late for that rehearsal kickstarted Axl's personal vendetta against me that started small but grew when Steven was kicked out the band and I raised hell over it. Then got bigger when Tansy relapsed in 1990 due to the stress of Guns N' Roses beginning to implode and Axl's ego getting bigger than God--especially to her in particular--and I told him it was his fault. Then even more when he found out I was the one that suggested suing the band to Steven's mother and came to our house in the middle of the night with a fucking shot gun which didn't scare me because I'd been shot before and was perfectly fine so if that cocky bastard wanted to shoot me again, in front of my fucking kids and be an asshole, then so be it, but it really pissed Nikki off. Then our feud finally came to a head in 1993, when Slash and Duff were Shanghaied into signing a contract relieving the name "Guns N' Roses" to Axl, and solely to Axl, if something were to happen to either of them--quitting, fired, or "death" (although the contract said nothing about death, their manager just used it as a cover up when confronted by Duff over it.) 

Their share of the band remained the same, meaning what Duff was leaving to me and Monroe upon his death in terms of equities and royalties wouldn't be touched, but I was beginning to realize it wouldn't have been much longer before Axl tried to take that, too, just like he had fucking done to Steven. So when Duff explained what had been done, I got on a plane and flew to their next show just to kick Axl's ass once again because Duff and Slash weren't confrontational enough to do it, they just tried to keep the peace as much as they could, but Axl wasn't my fucking lead singer and my kids were too young to know what exactly was going on.

I had nothing to lose. 

He sued--when I kicked him so hard the heel of my stiletto went right through his calf--and ended up with $100,000. 

$100,000 didn't sting me or Nikki as hard as a couple million must've stung him when Steven won his lawsuit against the band, and the prick deserved it. 

They all did in that situation. 

After being sued, though, Nikki wouldn't let me be around him anymore.

If Tansy wanted to hang out, I couldn't go to their house, and I couldn't take Monroe out to see his dad unless they were off the road or there was a guarantee I would be kept separated from Axl at all times.

I guess I really ended up being a "problem" to Axl, after all.

Duff goes out that night, leaving some money for me to get room service but not saying a word to me before he leaves, resulting in me going to my room incase someone tries to come find me and isn't suspicious as to why I'm in Duff's room. 

I'm getting out of my shower after washing my hair when a knock on my door sounds, making me believe it's the room service I ordered…

I put on my robe and open the door, revealing Sparkie. 

My face falls and I'm about to slam the door shut, but he stops it, stepping inside, shutting the door behind him. 

"What the hell do you want?" I ask, crossing my arms and he shrugs. 

"Just to talk." He tells me, smirking. "Ya know, catch up on each other, I feel like we aren't as close as we need to be." He adds and I raise a brow. 

"Because I don't want to be close to you." I state. 

"Well, you're pretty close to Duff with no issue." He voices and my heart nearly stops. "I figured you'd be keeping his bed warm while he's out."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I tell him.

"You two are practically joined at the hip, you were both late for rehearsal, you share a room...just because none of the other guys notice it, doesn't mean I don't." He adds and I roll my jaw. "I already caught you, now we just need to talk about what you're going to do for me, to help remind me not to let it slip to Nikki…" he takes a step closer to me and I back away until my back is against the wall, and he takes advantage of it, his hand going over my mouth before I can yell, causing a line of shock to roll up my spine as he stares down at me, evilly. "I know one thing you can do." He goes on, his free hand teasing at the belt of my robe, before pulling it out of its tie, opening it. 

Tears of anger swell in my eyes as I try to shake off the initial shock so I can fight back. 

"Why don't you show me exactly what was so good about you, that it made Nikki want to marry you, and is making Duff put his own band aside for you?" 

He opens the robe a little more, eyeing my chest, and before he can touch me, a knock on the door and "room service" sounds on the other side of the door.

I use it as an opportunity to get away from him as he lets out an angry sigh for being interrupted before I open the door. 

My food is delivered and I thank the woman who brought it up, grabbing some cash that Duff had left for me for food, from my dresser, and tipping her.

"Thank you." She tells me and I make a point to motion for Sparkie to leave, in front of her, that way if he refused there was a witness.

He doesn't take any chances, giving me a sarcastic smile, stepping to the door, stopping in front of me and getting in my ear and threatening me.

I tried to sleep that night but the eminent risk of Nikki finding out about Duff and I was starting to eat at me. 

With Nikki as bad off as he was, I was scared he wouldn't have been able to handle it, and our relationship was already in shambles, I didn't need him to have more reasons to scream my head off.

Part Seventy-Two -- Part 2