#i'm just imagining a situation where she's venting to someone

[heavencasteel420]

Nancy in Fanon: Jonathan, I am so disappointed that you started smoking pot after I nobly taught you that poetry is just another way to rap! I must flee for the arms of Robin Steve?? Eddie???! a guy named Spencer or Grant and he has a watch and an office and a trashcan and a little basketball hoop on it and he plays as hard as he works. Because dammit, he deserves to blow off a little steam!

Nancy in Canon: Get in, loser, we’re going shopping to uncover a government conspiracy and drink vodka and have sex in a bunker! You won’t even know who Vonnegut is by the time I’m through with you!!!

[imagine--if]

hey! i hope your doing well, i would love to see anything fluffy for mike (headcanons, blurbs, whatever you feel like suits it most!) - he deserves the whole world and sm more to me 😭

A/N: I get youuuu, hope you enjoy 😁 started off with the relationship hcs but let me know if you wanna see anything more specific!!

Warnings: FNAF movie spoilers, mentions of violence

⋆✮ Dating Mike Schmidt Includes: ✮⋆

➳ Mike's been through a hell of a lot ever since his little brother got kidnapped, so I'm seeing major protectiveness and sometimes even clinginess involved from him when you end up dating because 😭 guy's been through stuff and he's not letting anyone else he's close to get hurt

➳ To be honest, at first he's pretty closed-off with people, vulnerable with a tough exterior, so if you meet him in some scenario where you're tied up with the Freddy's murders and job, he'll try to be distant and professional and all... ending up failing 🙃

➳ Eventually you start. talking more about personal things, hobbies your lives, and he'll mention his sister Abby and having to take the job because he needs the money and is in the middle of the custody situation with his sister. He's got a lot going on and the trauma of what happened all those years ago still wringing at his guilt, so being able to talk with someone who doesn't judge in a relaxed place is a nice change for him having to be on guard all the time.

➳ When Mike befriends you, which is what happens first, he's got your back. If you need someone to vent to or hang out with or whatever, he'll do whatever he can to help, and when it comes to you being in a sticky situation or someone trying to hurt you or play you, he always seems to realise and is in no way afraid of confrontation to get them to back off.

➳ Like if William tries sizing you up a bit... and Mike gets annoyed with that cool, defensive glare as he asks if he needs anything (I've got to make an imagine of this nowwww). I think Mike would only realise that he's actually jealous if you teased about it, or if he really loses his temper with someone that's not leaving you alone or something. Then it really nags at him and makes him think about actually liking you as more than a friend, and then that initial reluctance because everyone he gets close to seems to have something bad happen to them, like it's a curse. At the end of the day, he just wants you to be safe.

➳ It would take something big for Mike to confess to you, unless you take the first step (aka Abby begging you to tell him you like him too because she's getting bored of him not concentrating on what she's talking to him about or the conversation somehow curving to you and the stuff you're into). Maybe you're attacked at Freddy's and you're all in on the crisis together when Mike stands firmly in front of you when William reveals himself, or he shoves you out the way so you won't get hurt, ultimately jumping in front of the threat without a worry of him getting hit instead. It's then that he realises how much he needs you in his life, how he needs you alive because you add some joy to it that he hasn't felt in all these years, a change from the darkness that his head's stuck in.

➳ It all comes out of him in a rush as he looks you up and down with wild eyes and a firm grip, asking if you're alright and saying in a rush that "you're one of the most important people in the world to me, and I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt... I- I couldn't live with myself, okay?!"

➳ Okayyy Mike, just kiss them 😏

➳ After you fight Afton together and get Vanessa looked after, you can finally breathe and properly start dating, which includes that familiar protectiveness and slight clinginess... and also being best friends with his little sister, which you 100% would be. You'd spend time drawing or chatting or playing random games while Mike was out working, eliminating the need for a babysitter because you're the perfect fit and get along with her great. And when he is home, you do a lot of stuff together, like a mini family, and there's finally that security and stability in that life she needed.

➳ I feel like Abby would find it hilarious to tell you all the sappy things Mike says about you on the rare occasions where you're not around, ending in Mike's cheeks flushing beet red and him picking her up and whirling her around playfully until she's in fits of laughter. "I heard Mike say that he found another reason to keep going when he realised he was in love wi- hey!!"

➳ Mike would be a bit clingy, again because of what happened with Garret; Mike being distracted for one moment and then blaming himself for the rest of his life because it was that moment where his brother was taken and killed. So if you are out, on a date or just around, this guy will not leave your side. He's the kind of person to text you again and again if you don't respond to the first message, and it's kind of cute how much he worries, but then he doesn't need to, and every now and then he'll need your reassurance that you guys are safe and that you won't leave him, which stills ends with him burying his face in your neck for a long tight hug for a while.

➳ MIKE'S A BIG HUGGER. CHANGE MY MIND.

➳ Whether you're watching a movie with him and Abby, or you're out on a date or sleeping or whatever, Mike will always have some contact with you if you've told him you're okay with it: fingers linked under the table, pressed into his side while you're watching TV (with an affectionate forehead kiss every five minutes 🥺) or being half crushed to death while you're trying to sleep when he rolls onto you and traps you under his leg... good luck if you need to go to the bathroom. Chances are he'll end up trailing after you with mumbled protests.

➳ That protectiveness always kicks in when someone looks at you for too long, or in a way that he doesn't like the look of, or if you're obviously uncomfortable with. If you're quick, you can just convince him to walk away and you two go somewhere else, because Mike will end up getting annoyed and giving the guy a line to get him to make them go away. If he's not careful, he might end up getting in a fight again, but he'll really try not to when you tell him off for it and promise him that things are okay and you're not going anywhere.

➳ You and Abby are basically Mike's world, after all that's happened, there are only really two people left that he truly cares for and would do anything for. Once you're in a relationship with him, he'll do everything he can to make sure you're safe and won't have to go through anything he had to. If ever you're upset, he'll listen for hours with no judgement and major support, whatever mood you're in somehow rubbing off on him. Mike will admit his feelings in a rush, and when he does, he's not afraid to tell you that he loves you whenever you need to hear it, or whenever he wants to say it and wants you to be reminded. It's something that you can never doubt.

[dododrawsstuff]

IkePri OC Melinda

Excuse the messy sketch, I'll update it if I finish (and this is also not her regular clothes, this is like a portrait painting of her, but Chev said it was okay if she was silly, that's why the peace sign and the smily expression ajdhajdj)

She was more of a meme character in my head, but she grew on me, so have Melinda (I finally gave her a name)

Taglist: @olivermorningstar (you said it was ok to tag you in OC stuff, but let me know if you don't want to be tagged anymore) and if there's anyone else that wants to be tagged in my OC stuff, let me know

More about her under the cut

Name: Melinda (nickname: Mel)

Age: 24

Birthday: 10/31

Story: She is originally from a different world, and IkePri is a game she plays. One day she just wakes up in Rhodolite’s castle. Nobody knows the cause or if she can go back to her own world. She arrives roughly the same day Emma is appointed as Belle, Mel is granted stay at the castle because of Emma. She is assigned to help around the castle, to earn her stay.

Mel’s favorite character was Calvis, she had fallen in love with him in her own world (as pathetic as she thinks it is). And as she gets to interact with the princes and Emma, she falls harder for Clavis, which is unfortunate for her, since she starts to notice some signs that Emma is on Clavis’ route.

She is torn at first, because she really loves him, but she thinks she can never make Clavis as happy as Emma can. She gives up on pursuing him, and resigns to just watch them for afar and wish for their happiness.

Personality: Melinda is a bit of a pessimist, but tries to keep a positive outlook on life. She is awkward on social situations, especially if it involves interacting with strangers, so she is sometimes considered to be rude. She really likes to laugh and tends to be more silly with people she feels comfortable around. She is very expressive once she is comfortable with someone, and uses her hands a lot while talking.

Melinda can struggle sometimes with establishing boundaries and speaking up for herself, but it's something she is working on.

Pair: Chevalier

Story with Chevalier, I guess?: After arriving in Rhodolite ****she ****tries to avoid Chevalier most of the time, being a stranger that appeared out of nowhere, she is suspicious to say the least and she doesn't want to try her luck.

But stuff keeps happening that makes them interact with each other, at first he is disinterested at best in her, but as they keep interacting, she starts to pick his interest.

I imagine one of the key interactions they have is when Chevalier calls her a simpleton and basically useless, which is true, since she most of her skills she acquired during her life were useless in that world, but she has a lot of pent up feelings, the uncertainty of going home, feeling like she doesn't fit in, and then his words spoken in a cold tone disregarding her feelings added salt to injury, and is what makes her explode despite her better judgment. She just start venting in a language he doesn't understand (in this particular scenario I imagined there are no Portuguese speaking countries in the IkePri universe, and I chose Portuguese because is the only other language I feel confident in writing).

After that, he starts to take an interest in her. He demands asks her to teach him her language, in return he teaches her about politics, manners, etc. He was able to learn and speak Portuguese in less than a month.

At one point he starts to request her to his room (kinda like in his route, where he asks Emma to tell him stories, if I'm not crazy, it's been a while since I played his route) so she can tell him stories he hadn't heard before. And from this point onwards, I really haven't thought much, but I imagined a VERY slow burn.

Some random headcanons that I didn't know where to put:

She and Chevalier sometimes talk in Portuguese whenever she misses home, or when they don't want other people to know what they're talking about (though sometimes others can tell because of her body language). They gossip a lot in Portuguese, it's mostly her, he just listens to her rambles;

Eventually she ends up revealing to him that she is from another world. But it's something he had suspicions for a long time;

Chevalier likes to hear her talk about her experiences, her childhood, her hobbies, what she used to do in her own world. And Melinda is happy he likes to listen to her, though sometimes she wonders if she’s being a bother;

They also talk about history, technology (mostly because I think it would be interesting to muse about him discovering these things)

She needs to use glasses, but her eyesight is not so bad she can't see without them, so most of the time she just doesn't wear them

I'll edit this as I develop her more ^^

[ramen8008]

I LOVE aged up Ladynoir dynamic because they are more mature and understand each other to a level that just AHHH!

One of my oldest and most loved Ladynoir head-canons basically goes like this:

Where as they grow older, they grow closer but especially during the time where the og friend group kinda separates because of college and Marinette being Marinette is like "you know what? not having close friends with me helps me focus on college AND ladybug" but she still NEEDS SOMEONE (whether she knows it at the moment or not) .

It gets tougher, the akumas evolve into causing more mental and emotional damage than physical, hawkmoth grows to understand that with their age and jobs it's easier to target their mind. During this time they've grown more independent than they should have. So one night they talk, they explain their situation, they vent to each other and decide that the comfort they feel with one another can't be compared to anything else. That maybe the other is more than just a work friend that they joke with, more than just someone they only see during the most stressful times of the day, maybe it's easier to find a best friend in someone who you've known for most your life, who you've been through thick and thin with, who understands you in ways most might never. So Chat Noir and Ladybug grow closer and closer.

They rant about college and work (Adrien works in his father's company now and did a business course so he doesn't have to model and Marinette has an Etsy shop on the side). They get close and have random night talks where they talk about things no one but them and the night sky will ever hear. Everything they go through as heroes, the ups and downs, and they also talk about fun stuff, learn more about each other, finding out that chat is a part of multiple fandoms, that Ladybug has a horrible bed head and hates that chat doesn't, that they more are more of a romantic at heart than they want to admit. But they also talk about just the struggles and anxiety that comes with their jobs, just how messed up what they went through as kids is now that they see it from an adults point of view, but they also just laugh it off, joke about the trauma some fights inflicted. Nightmares that keep them up, hopes they are too scared to say out loud, sometimes even the fear of losing purpose if hawkmoth is defeated.

There's so much more too. They have the kind of friendship where they make jokes and promises into the night about how if they are always going to be single because of their jobs they'll just get married in their superhero costumes. How ladybug is going to love making chat's kids little clothes and how chat is going to make sure that ladybug gets time with her future partner whenever there's an akuma by handling it for her. All the while not knowing that their feelings for each other keep on growing and growing. It's so huge that it feels like their hearts will combust but it's also constant to the point that they get used to it.

It hits them like a truck yet it's so slow, maybe just talking one night and it hits them that they can't imagine life without the other, that they want the other in a way that's more than what they ever thought, no they've thought of it before, they've jokes about it but never acknowledged the truth this jokes had in them, never acknowledged that over time they became to lean on each other more than just in battles, they became each others partners in more than just fights against akumas, more than in a platonic way. They've always loved each other but their love had grown into something much stronger

P.s. thx @rosekasa for reigniting my Ladynoir head canons and now I'm on a journey to go through all my head canons 🤍

[thenightfolknetwork]

I didn't mean to. It was an accident. I swear I didn't know. I just...

The town I'm from is secluded, very secluded. Still using landlines and slow and spotty internet secluded. It's one of those towns hidden away by mountains and trees that take days to get in and out of. My point is that news is slow to get in, and about half is debated as rumor and "conspiracies against the common people."

I hope im saying this right. As i said, resources are limited, so please forgive any offense. The "People of the Night" are still thought to be myth here. If there are any um "Nightfolk" here, they haven't made themselves known. Not that I'd blame them, but it would have made this a lot easier, maybe prevented it even. I'm sorry I'm rambling, I'm still a bit shaken.

I thought I was just approachable. When someone's lost or needed help, they'd always find their way to me. No trouble at all, I enjoyed it. But it happened so often, My friends used to say that I "just had one of those faces."

It felt good to be needed. I'd ask how someone was. They'd vent to me what was going on, and I listened. If I could and they wanted it, I'd offer advice, but most just wanted to be heard.

But, a couple of weeks ago, I was walking with my best friend. We were just catching up, nothing serious. It was meant to be a joke, a reference to my tendency of "being one of those faces." I asked her if she had any dark secrets she wanted to share.

She did.

You'd thought I'd told her to do it at knifepoint. Her story came pouring out like an overpowered hose. When she finished, the look she gave me. I can't unsee it.

When it was over, i tried to thank her for trusting me with such sensitive information, but she told me to save it. I don't know how, but we both knew it was my fault.

She told my friend group what happened and now no one wants to speak to me. I tried to explain myself, but they refused to listen or trust what I had to say. Out of frustration, I asked one person why they were avoiding me, and they responded, "Because I always knew you were weird."

There was no denying that I... forced them to tell me that in some way, but it wasn't on purpose! But I must have proved something because now I can't leave my house because everyone is LOOKING at me.

I've been using a paper and pencil to get by as well as trying to learn BSL because im afraid to speak again. How many of those talks that I had were unvoluntary? How many people were forced to be honest and just pretended to be civil because they were scared of me?

I don't know if this is new or something that I'd always done. I'm alone here. The only reason I know as much as I do about the Creature Community is because I accidentally stumbled across your show on my radio.

I dont know who i am anymore. I miss singing and talking to people, but I'm terrified that I'll compel someone by accident. How do I get better? Where do I go from here?

Oh, reader. This must be a very frightening, upsetting time for you. I'm so glad you felt able to reach out to us here at the Nightfolk Network for support.

First of all, I hope you are able to see the difference between taking responsibility for your past actions, and making a martyr of yourself. You have been unthinkingly, unknowingly hurting people, and you do need to recognise that before you can try to make amends. But the harm you caused was entirely accidental. Please, be gentle with yourself.

In terms of practical steps forwards, I can reassure you: you are not alone in your powers, or in finding them difficult to control. Often powers of this kind make themselves known early in an individuals life, and you can imagine how difficult it can be to control the spoken wishes of a babbling toddler.

Nevertheless, many people in your situation go on to live perfectly ordinary lives with good control over their powers. And you have the advantage over a toddler, in that you are not only fully cognisant of the detrimental effects of such powers but also already able to find alternative ways to communicate.

Your first step is to contact your GP and arrange an appointment to discuss the matter. Write them a letter explaining the situation, and emphasising your need to conduct the appointment without speech. In a small, rural community like yours, it's very likely your GP will have little to no personal experience of such cases. But they will be able to refer you to an NHS specialist with whom you can explore possible treatment options.

In most cases, those options will be either medication, behavioural therapy, or more usually a combination of the two. I understand that there is a great deal of stigma around thauma-damping medication. Please, resist this pattern of thought.

Medication is nothing more or less than a tool we might use to help us live our lives. Taking medication does not indicate a lack of effort or will on your part in controlling your powers. It just makes a very difficult thing slightly easier.

However, NHS waiting lists for this type of treatment can be lengthy. In the meantime, I strongly recommend you reach out as best you can to your community. Writing a letter, text or email to your best friend would be a good start, explaining the situation as best you can and leaving the door open for her to rekindle the relationship if she feels able.

Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to forcibly mend the relationship. You can only present yourself honestly and hope that, in time, you are able to find your way back to something like the friendship you shared before this.

In the meantime, try to connect with other people in the community if you can. The Internet can be a wonderful place to connect with others, and your local library may have information about support groups in the wider area.

Above all, reader, take heart. There is plenty to be hopeful about here. You are not doomed to a life of fearful silence, or of isolation and solitude. With a little work, and plenty of support from the people around you, I see no reason why you shouldn't enjoy a long and happy life full of genuine connection with the people around you.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[whoneedscoffeeanyway]

Am I the only one who thinks "Loser baby" from hazbin hotel is weirdly fitting for karlach and astarion from BG3.

Two people who bond over being trapped in a shitty situation where they're hopelessly chained to the asshole who put them there in the first place. And while ultimately their lives are shit, by allowing others into that life they make it just a little better.

I can't stop imagining the scene of astarion finding karlach sulking at the edge of camp and after hearing her vent about how hopeless she is astarions like "girl same". He tells her his past and how he became a vampire and the centuries he's spent as someone's property.

"while I won't pretend like I know how much you've suffered in literal hell, I also won't pretend like I'm not wearing the same brand of leash as you are. If we're both going to be stray dogs, why not be a pack. Misery loves company afterall."

Now obsessively rewriting the song to fit them.

[bestworstcase]

I'm still on the train of thought that if Ruby is going to have some kind of violent outburst as part of this breakdown, she's more likely to direct it towards breaking crescent rose than attacking anyone like Neo or Jaune (an internalized sort of anger for perceived failings, she's supposed to be the ideal hero, the hopeful one, leader with all the answers but she just can't anymore, and by extension any desire to put that weight down for a while means something is wrong with her, not the world that put her in this position to begin with).

Maybe Neo might push the issue and make herself an acceptable target for her to vent that anger towards in the form of violence instead, but honestly Ruby just seems fucking tired right now more than angry. I don't fully understand where this desire to see her go bloodthirsty on someone is coming from?

now THIS i can see. what immediately sprang to mind is a parallel to ruby cutting down a tree with one slice to vent her feelings in V1—except this time smashing crescent rose blunt-side into something like a boulder or pillar. the same overpowering wordless fury exploding out as this flash of impulsive destruction, but directed at crescent rose instead of using crescent rose as the instrument for that feeling. and then i’d imagine, shortly afterward some dawning regret and maybe fixing the damage or reforging crescent rose altogether as part of working through the underlying crisis. i think that fits neatly with where ruby’s at rn. and it would be a really potent way to visually showcase what she’s feeling!

the other thing i’ve been thinking is that ruby might have taken it with her when she left because she’s going to look for the blacksmith. the blacksmith made her an offer, which ruby declined on the grounds that she already had (or used to have) her own weapon, and anyway she can handle it—and the blacksmith accepted that refusal but also added “if you change your mind…”—& now ruby’s realizing that she really can’t handle it and in fact doesn’t WANT to be forced to carry this burden, and she has the weapon that represents that burden in her hands now, and the blacksmith implicitly told her to come back if things changed. so…

one of the big questions i have for 9.8 is whether ruby is going to miserably isolate herself (like she did in V8) or if she’s going to try asking the ever after for help. bc right from the start, this world has been telling her “you don’t have to. you can stop. you get to choose. what do YOU want?” and i think that played a huge role in bringing this to the surface. its the combination of being so beaten down AND the sudden contrast of how the ever after cares about how she feels and what she wants.

it’s often difficult to see how bad things really are until you lurch into a better situation by accident. and then it hits you like a truck.

how things shake out with neo depends a lot, i think, on what order they happen. there’s three (or four) like, obvious items on the narrative to-do list for ruby’s breakdown: 1. little helping her figure out what she is, 2. confrontation with neo, and 3. the second encounter with the blacksmith; and possibly 4. a ponderstorm. (if the ponderstorm occurs separately. i think it’s more likely the storm will be the narrative scaffolding for the first three points, bc it’s both more efficient and more compelling to do all of this sort of ‘together’ rather than sequentially.)

the big question is which comes first. i figure the sequencing will be either little -> neo -> blacksmith, with neo interrupting the little conversation and the resultant confrontation/storm leading them ultimately to the blacksmith. OR, blacksmith + little -> neo, with ruby’s crystallizing NEED to change answered immediately by the blacksmith, ruby figuring out at least a rough idea of what ‘laying her burden down’ means to her, and then coming face-to-face with neo at the moment when she’s made a decision but doesn’t yet know how to put it into practice.

it’s not… impossible that she encounters neo first, i wouldn’t be surprised per se if that’s what happens, but it does seem a lot less likely to me, mostly bc ruby is in SUCH rough shape rn. she can’t fight. the bloody rampage theory hinges on the assumption that ruby will just snap out of it if she gets mad enough, but i don’t think that… tracks, really? (especially not when this is postulated as what fixes her. killing ADAM was portrayed as 1. completely, unequivocally morally justified and necessary, and 2. still a profoundly upsetting experience for both of them but especially for blake. and y’all think ruby going berserk and brutally killing or maiming neo in a blind rage would be IN ANY WAY treated as constructive or healing? what show are you watching?)

so if she does encounter neo first, i think there will have to be some sort of complication to swerve the confrontation away from being a serious physical altercation. bc if it’s a physical altercation and ruby hasn’t gotten the chance to at least begin working through this stuff, she either runs away or neo kills her.

i think the most plausible options for what the complication might be are 1. a ponderstorm hits them and they’re put into a space where violent engagement flat out isn’t possible, or else 2. ruby reacts in a way that is so wildly at odds with neo’s revenge fantasy that neo’s violent intention stalls out. bc like one of the really interesting things about neo as an antagonist is she’s both single-minded but also very fickle. her desire for vengeance initially focused on cinder, and cinder redirected it toward ruby with remarkable ease. she’s committed but lacks any real conviction. so i think ruby might be able to deflect her, at least temporarily, just by not following the script.

but i do think it’s more likely that neo will happen after ruby has, like, at least had a moment to catch her breath and really feel the enormity of what she just did. for “i don’t want to be a huntress anymore.“ to crystallize as a conscious thought and desire that she can acknowledge. if only bc it allows for this progression from “i’m NOT a huntress.” to “…so then what am i?” to coming face-to-face with neo and choosing deliberately to deal with her not like a huntress. neo potentially is kind of ruby’s answer to herself, to this question of “what are you going to become?” that has to follow after “i’m done being a huntress.”

[emotionally-intuitive-engineer]

Hey…I don’t know where to begin with this…I feel like I’m being a bother, but someone I thought was supposed to be my father lied to me and betrayed my trust, I have a dog but me and my mother had to leave him and go live in an apartment, we had to leave her with him since she was to hyperactive to take and be in an apartment, she died to months ago, my dog I had since I was 9 died at age 7, and he didn’t tell me, how she died I’m not sure nor do I want to know since the information could destroy me mentally, I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, he’s been spamming my phone and freaking out because I’m choosing to ignore him, he’s done nothing but bring me pain, there’s something wrong with that man….he doesn’t know that I know about my dog dying by his hands and I feel partially guilty by my choice to ignore him since my mom has to go deal with him now…there’s so much going on right now I feel drained and empty

Hi anon, this is the mod of @emotionally-clumsy-soldier filling in for Ro (the mod of this blog). I'm really sorry you're going through this, but this is an account Ro runs for fun. When they started this account I imagine they were hoping they could just provide some gentle comfort to people having a little bit of a rough time. But at the end of the day, Ro is a minor, you are a complete stranger, and there seems to be a pattern of people (or god forbid, the same person, like I think it is) continuously pushing the boundaries of the amount of support they are willing to provide.

I don't know who you are. Ro doesn't know who you are. It's not okay for you to abuse that anonymity to force them into a situation where they are pushed into acting as your only line of support. This blog was supposed to be fun and now I am recieving dms from Ro asking me what to do about them because it's just too much. Ro loves to help people whenever they can but at what point does it become their only purpose? At what point does Engie's mod stop becoming a person and start becoming a vent mailbox without will?

Ro won't be accepting anons like this anymore. They will be deleted. It's taking a toll on their mental health and I personally refuse to enable this kind of behavior for the other minors that run blogs like this. This is simply not okay. Do better.

Put less nicely; cut the shit and have the self awareness to realize that you're speaking to a real regular person and not Engineer tf2. Get into therapy or use character.ai. Ro is not here to fill in for your lack of therapy. Stop mistreating rp blog admins. PERIOD.

[mayariviolet]

Hello Team, I have been obsessively following this fanfiction written by the @spiteless-xo for MONTHS! I commented on a couple of songs, and home girl said one day, we'll have a playlist, and I am here to deliver. Also, shout out to @shepnicolo. Please go check out their playlist. It's amazing, heart-wrenching, etc.

Link to The Boys at Work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44843530/chapters/112829014

As inspired by @shepnicolo I decided to give explanations to each song <3.

NOTE: Basically, this playlist follows chapter by chapter a character's inner monologue as well as fitting into the situation

Yeah, this is the playlist cover I made; what about it?

Side A:

"Dinner and Diatribes" - "I knew it from the first look of mischief in your eyes. Your friends are a fate that befell me. Head is a talking tide. I'd suffer Hell if you'd tell me what you'd do to me tonight."

reader x eren meet for the first time in a club and are literally so horned up that they immediately fall into their own self-destruction just to sleep together. Also, this song is a good introduction to their relationship up until the third arc IMO. I pictured this song mostly from Eren's perspective because he literally is so infatuated with reader that he does not care about anyone else around him.

2. "A Night to Remember" - "I swore I'd seen you before. Underneath the sheets, you enchanted me and whispered sweet nothings in my ear."

Readers' pov of sleeping with Eren bc who wouldn't want to imagine sleeping with Eren also, they LITREALLY slept together after like 24 hours. And Eren would not stop whispering those sweet nothings to reader trying to get them to be obsessed with him (it worked)

3. "The Party & The After Party" - "High heel shoes make you six feet tall. Everybody wants you; you can have them all."

In chapter three, I pictured this song switching between Jean and Eren's perspectives after the truth or dare game. It was mostly Eren because he was doing the absolute MOST during that game. Also, Jean literally being so insecure and jealous that this chapter is so Abel-coded.

4. "D.D" - "I've been here times before, but I was too Blind to see that you seduce every man. This time, you won't seduce me."

Dirty Diana could be either Reader x Eren or Jean x Pieck, depending on your feelings. Pieck is more of the embodiment of D.D., considering she was trying so hard to seduce Jean (lowkey worked, though...) Eren x Reader did sleep together, though so #win

5. "Dress" - "Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me"

The foreshadowing here hehe... ifykyk (see the bathroom scene in chapter 3)

6. "Kill Bill" - "I'm so mature, I'm so mature, I got me therapist to tell me there's other men, but I don't want none, I just want you."

Reader is insane, and this is how I pictured what she was thinking when Pieck crashed her lunch date...

7. "Double Take" "You're my vice, you're my muse"

Hmm this song read to me as Jean to the reader especially since the whole song goes back and forth between liking someone as a friend but that 'what if' that lingers in the background.

8. "Die For You - Remix" - "Even though we're goin' through it, and it makes you feel alone (no, no), Just know that I would die for you."

Eren doesn't know it yet, but he does act like he would die for the reader (especially in all of the scenes @ the point). Also, the reader is so attached to venting to Eren is crazy to me like she is obsessed no matter what she says...

9. "The Morning- "All that money, the money is the motive"

I thought of the chapter where Eren comforts the reader about everything at work. Yes, I know money isn't her only motivation (mostly pride), but having financial security is just a metaphor for her lack of security in her relationships. She works like she has something to prove to Eren and Jean and herself.

10. "Talk"- "I won't deny I've got in my mind now (hey, yeah) all the things I would do. So I try to talk refined for fear that you find out (hey, yeah) How I'm imagining you."

Eren has to control himself around the reader so he doesn't freak her out with how badly he wants her is just so <3. HE IS TRYING TO CHANGE TEAM!

11. "Work Song" -"Nothing in her room but an empty crib."

Ifykyk (the end of Eren Fucking Yeager). Like y'all know damn well Hozier wasn't talking about a room he was talking about her pu- and Eren furnished that room with a crib TWICE

12. "The Hills" - "When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, babe...Who are you to judge?"

This song encapsulates the end of Eren x Readers' relationship, especially in the chapter 'Shameless' when the reader calls out Eren's shitty behaviour and the fiasco that occurs after pushing her to Jean. This song (to me) directly challenges the reader to start thinking about who is she to judge in all of their interactions with Eren and Jean?

13. "Super Rich Kids" - "Too many white lies and white lines...I'm searching for a real love."

This is an obligatory Frank Ocean song for Jean because he starts telling the reader his true feelings. His life as a rich kid has been fulfilling, but at what cost? He only had vapid interactions with those around him until he grew up later.

14 "Stargirl Interlude" - "I shouldn't cry, but I love it Starboy"

it's a sex song. But the tone completely shifts after this. Looking at it deeper reader knows that being with Jean shouldn't feel like constantly crying or in pain. Jean (who is so Abel-coded) knows this which we can see in the lyric where The Weeknd says "I just want to see you shine 'cause you know you are a star girl".

------------------------

this is the mixtape cover i made btw <3 thank u canva!

Side B:

15. "Fire and Desire" - "Tell me should I cut these other girls out of my life cause we never decided"

These two (I am including Star Girl interlude) are together because they (Jean x Reader) are both. so. horny. But the fact they literally cannot decide what they are is so infuriating (but way too realistic trust me I know). So horny sex music and sad yearning for them both.

16. "Easy"- "Love don't come easy, it don't come easy"

This song captures the conversation between Eren and Armin, especially when Armin tells Eren that all his feelings are valid but complicated and that love doesn't come easy. Also translates to how frustrating it is for reader to prove to Jean that she loves him, they're both realizing that it's hard to love.

17. "Feelings" - "I over-communicate and feel too much. I just complicate it when I say too much."

Literally reader being so overwhelmed with everything and turning to sex in order to communicate how she's feeling is insane to me but no matter what she says to Jean it's never enough. Just really listen to the song... trust...

18. "Maroon" - "The burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks; so scarlet it was maroon."

This entire song is about Jean and readers break up. Especially how he always brings up Eren's shirt and the cheap wine being exchanged on their lips.

19. "Complicated" - "Tell me, why do you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're acting like somebody else gets me frustrated"

Reader's inner monologue when is FINALLY AND RIGHTFULLY thinking about how Jean always complicates things (she is not entirely blameless obvi.) She is reflecting on whether or not this is. the same Jean she's been friends with for years.

20. "Broken Clocks" - "I've paid enough of petty dues. I've had enough of shitty news"

I really appreciated the readers' mental health arc. <3 Like YAS try not to pay attention to these bums girl and fix yourself! Even though she becomes self-destructive again. True SZA energy.

21. "Unknown / Nth" - "Do you know, I could break beneath the weight Of the goodness, I still carry for you. That I'd walk so far just to take the injury of finally knowing you."

Andrew, how is the reader supposed to sha la la in these trying times? Anyway, this song is Jean thinking about how much he loves the reader and that because he knows her so well, he KNOWS how much he can hurt her. Also, it could be read from the perspective of Eren, loving reader to the point he steps back from her so that she is happy. (Especially the latest chapter where he says he would have still fallen for her in university and he thinks that she would still love him either way </3)

22. "Godspeed" - "Still, I'll always be there for you, I let go of my claim on you..."

JEAN SAYING TO EREN THAT HE CAN HAVE READER, AND BOTH OF THEM ESSENTIALLY LETTING HER CHOOSE BY NOT TALKING TO HER, MADE ME SICK! THEY WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HER, BUT THEY CAN'T BE WHAT SHE NEEDS EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE WHO SHE WANTS </3

23. "Midnight Rain" - "All of me changed like midnight rain"

Okay, I know this is written from the perspective of a girl prioritizing her career over their relationship but this is so JEAN-coded! READER WANTED COMFORTABLE BUT HE WANTED THAT PAIN! He is a sick fuck.

24. "Bug Like an Angel" - "Sometimes. a drink feels like family."

The sparkling fruit wine that Reiner said was a cheap gift (a reflection of the shallow relationship reader x jean had). The back and forth between how reader drinks their coffee/tea and the loss and gain of familiarity. Yeah.

25. "Champagne Problems" - "How evergreen, our group of friends. Don't think we'll say that word again."

When there are two friend group breakups in this fan fic </3. Also, this song speaks for itself. Jean was never ready, so he had to watch the reader leave. Jean also has an ABDUNDANCE of champagne problems he has to sort out (hopefully soon, King).

26. "Tolerate It" - "I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it."

The way Jean, no matter what he does, never openly celebrates readers' love is sick. She literally waits at the door for him to accept her love. No matter where she is, whatever circumstances, she idolizes him and waits on whatever he says, hoping he will outwardly say and do something that shows her that he loves her. </3

27. "Right Where You Left Me" - "And you're sitting in front of me. At the restaurant, when I was still the one you want... Everybody moved on."

Yeah, tell me that isn't reader literally yearning at the restaurant when Jean completely ignored her to stroke his ego with Pieck. He wanted her so badly but was so scared. Everyone moved on from that instance, but she felt like a part of her died. Even when he broke up with her in a heartless way, she stayed thinking about that situation.

28. "Francessca" - "Da-, Darlin', I would do it again (ah-ah, ah-ah) If I could hold you for a minute. Da-, Darlin' I'd go through it again."

LAST SONG!!! In my opinion, this is an accumulation of the reader, Jean and Eren's internal monologue. I think they would endure their ups and downs if it meant they could be together again. ESPECIALLY EREN!!! I mean, this song is based on that couple immortalized in Dante's Inferno who were put in hell for literally being in love.

Okay, if you have read this far, thank you. I love you. Thank you, @spiteless-xo, for giving me something to look forward to every Tuesday <3.

[milkywayhou]

Hi 🫱🏼‍🫲🏿🍊

OC ask for snow

5,9,19

Hi! :0 😳🤝

Thanks for the questions- I'm surprised someone willing to ask me about her!!

anyway I will answer it with what I thought about Snow. Since I'm not finished to build her character yet.

It's very long answer!!

5. How far she's willing to go to get what she wanted?

Well, beneath Snow's charismatic surface lay a fierce determination that had served her old self well in her military career - and that she now channeled towards attaining some semblance of normalcy, whatever the personal cost.

Survival had always depended on her willingness to push past pain and sacrifice for the mission. Sleepless nights, pushing through injuries, achieving impossible feats of physical and mental endurance.

Snow was no stranger to pushing limits in pursuit of goals, having stared down true horrors most can't imagine. Survival demanded flexibility with morality in her line of work, where willingness to get hands dirty often meant living to see another dawn.

Though civilian life demanded different stakes, that drive still burned inside her. If keeping up appearances, playing the part a little while longer allowed preserving this quasi-stability against her demons, small manipulations seemed worth the trade.

White lies, misdirecting questions, gaslighting memories that threatened façade's crumbling - whatever it took stayed in her well-practiced arsenal. No discomfort or cost was too high if it maintained this precarious balance a moment more.

Consequences were irrelevant compared to keeping agony locked in a cage, if only for a little while longer. Nothing else mattered but delaying shattering truths from swallowing her whole, even if it took all remaining shards of her morality and dignity to stay afloat on the sea of brokenness just a while more.

9.Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with her?

I have many-

But since I wrote this while listening a few song that I associated with her, I probably will just write down the lyrics that I found really suit her!

"Just repeated to live, no matter how many times I ended it. There are always only small rusty desire in the end. Under the name of prayer and pride, life goes around in an inorganic way" Fehlt (Deemo edition by Alice Schach and The Magic Orchestra

"Live is allowing yourself to step on fire, shed tears on bloodied routes (life is to consume. life is to become food for each other, no matter evil or good)

Entirely hell (life is fairness, life is inequality)

(Life is the motion) We live by default " in Hell We Live, Lament by Mili ft. KIHOW from Myth & Roid

19.How does she behave when enraged?

Her training emphasized control, but when fury broke barriers. Eyes would darken, Mouth twisting in a caustic smile meant to inflict its own wounds. She'd coil like a serpent about to strike, muscles coiled for violence.

Usually soft tones took on an unnerving crispness, clipped and cold. Sarcasm yielded to pure vitriol in a voice not her own, laced with all the agony she buried for years. Wrath and heartache poured from some wound so deep it seemed to physically pain her.

She preferred manipulating situations through charm, but antagonizing her meant facing raw, uncensored fury few survived unscathed. Fists would ball, body trembling with effort to hold back the tide.

More than once she retreated alone, venting rage through punishing physical exertion until exhaustion doused conflagration's flames. Violence against fellow operators was unacceptable, so she focused wrath inward through brutal training regimens pushing limit to the brink of collapse. Only then could composure's locks be safely reengaged.

[shkika]

I'm starting to think this is making yur wrist WORSE with all the typing /lhj also also also type as long as you'd like its so fun reading it all

Anyway that makes a lot of sense actually like.,.,,..wow man rainworld is really?? Sad when you think about it god

I wonder if moon felt any sort of obligation to be how she was towards fp aside from being the big sister etc, like maybe bc he was built to like carry her population something like that I think its silly how she spoke so badly of the ancients but then when fp ends up doing something she's so much more like understanding I guess it shows how much she does really care

Maybe her anger is driven more towards what she could have done herself alongside being mainky the ancients..She seems the type imo like......maybe she should have started the communications faster or maybe if she had done more he wouldnt have felt the need to work with the rot in the first place or maybe that she didnt even really figure something was terribly terribly wrong in the first place?? Itd be cool I think if she was only so patient with fp actually like...... she was faster to stop forgiving with other iterators or anything really, but I think as you said way earlier she'd just be a little passive aggressive or something and that'd be enough for her probably

I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THE ROT BEING GOSSIP MATERIAL that must've messed pebbles up like so so SOO bad. Like first off he failed he did what he never wanted to do and then it just gets spread around?? As conversation?? Like wow. Wow wow wow thanks I guess. Ok.

Speaking of suns too I wonder do they regret telling pebbles (someone highly impressionable at this point in time and someone looking for ADVICE) the whole bug situation, like it feels as if they were kind of just venting out some of their own frustrations rather than truly truly meaning it but then again suns is such an odd creature why are you so mean to this guy he looks up to you so much be NORMAL

On a much lighter note though his intrigue(special interest/j) with the history and like poetry the ancients had is so silly I think I wonder would he have ever rambled about it to others like more in depth than what he tells artificer

Hopefully not!! I really need these lazy hands to work!! bahah

I’m having fun you’re aall good ^^

I have a lot of hcs about Moon I’d like to explore in an ask blog I hopefully open soon >> especially her relationship with ancients, her group and five pebbles in particular hoopefully. She’s a really mild person, because of the way she carries herself, but has a lot to her character. At least I like to hc her that way!

She does feel responsibility over Pebbles, but I doubt she ever blames herself for the situation which they ended up in. I also doubt the responsibility felt forced to her!

Or well I at least enjoy the hc that she loves thinking herself as a big sister! She likes to dote on people and help out when she can. Though her approach does end up being one where she holds your hand a lot (not for proud iterators oops!!!!)

Also passive agressive moon…? yes…. just yes. we deal with anger by looking at you wrong bahahah

The rot was gossip material it is very upsetting!! but a little funny! Not to mention how iterators reffered to Pebbles I found myself snickering. “The near Looks to the Moon” like alright sheesh. People also tried to contact poor Pebbles i think! Not just his local group! Imagine how stressful that is.

Suns feels like that one nihilistic atheist guy with a big ego who overshares his opinions a lot and thinks the world sucks and has like unchecked anxiety.

But that’s probably just me hehe. I think Suns and Pebbles had fun being hateful little goons and then Srs dropped his depressing opinions which.. aren’t even fully wrong. Isn’t it sad. Pebbles ended up exactly in the way which srs described. Something he was so afraid of he gave himself the rot over </3

Suns is a silly goon to me. A critter I contain in my jar.

And yes!! I’d love to know what more Pebbles has to say about art and culture! Mmmm more content please yum yum!! His painting analysis was super cute.

[ramonag-if]

hi, mona! about MCs' eyes being different from other Ishari and being blessed by the ancient ones... Does Rana also possess these? and in chapter 6 can we also have an option where we are indifferent towards the new family of Salyra? And just treat them as a guest... I actually experience IRL the situation that MC is currently in 🥲 and I also form a bit of jealousy toward my half-siblings at that time because my mother stay with her "new family" and had a "loving family" while me and my dad she just throws us like we're some garbage because at that time our family is having financial issues I guess "my mother" only loves money which showed her true face to us she didn't even blink when she cheated on my dad and the rest is history 🤧 but now we're all okay and the jealousy at that time became a joke now because I realized that "why would I push myself into something or someone that doesn't even know love/love myself and just love herself which is a waste of time" now me and my dad we're having a great time without her. It's also a slap on her face because my dad is now handling his business well... and about my half-siblings, we treat each other like a guest just being polite.

Well, what I want to say is that can we have an option of just not interacting with Salyra and the rest of her fam after the confrontational and venting our feelings to her? Or just having an indifferent response and also being polite enough I already imagined my MC having a 'don't think about interacting with me if you are part of salyra's new fam or just don't ever mention the names of salyra and her new fam in front of my face or you're dead' face after confronting Salyra 😆 and regarding about Rana and her father I think my MC will also have a hard time accepting what really happened and this response won't antagonize anyone just treat them as a guest just being polite that's it... leave my MC alone and let my prince irus comfort my meow meow hehe 🥺💖

Overall, chapter 5 is a rollercoaster for me HAHAHA while thinking about the mysteries of our eyes and being blessed to meeting Salyra, and learning that she had a new fam really made me teary-eyed. Now I am super excited for chapter 6 I know you'll give our MC justice and really thank you for being open to suggestions I know it's hard because you'll change your game from time to time due to our suggestions and just a big thank you and a big hug from me for you are working hard just to satisfy the readers but also bettering your game! 🥰😘

Hello, Anon 🌼

I can't answer about the MC's eyes because it will come up and it's a bit of spoilers at the moment 😊

Currently, you can accept or reject Salyra or choose to be undecided. Her new family is a different choice and you can choose if you'll have a relationship with Rana and Danzor or just Rana or neither of them.

Suggestions that are seemingly being implemented are actually things I already had planned so I don't think I'm that much of a people-pleaser 😅 I consider all suggestions because sometimes they help, but mostly I don't implement everything because it's a lot if extra work that doesn't impact the plot in any way.

Still, feel free to send in suggestions 💖

[rescue-ram]

Had a thought on "dark fic" discourse

Like, I feel like "dark fic" gets used as short hand for either taboo fetishes or personal vent fics, both of which have their camps defending their right to exist literarily.

Do you know what kind of dark fic has no shooters? "Processing real life tragedies". Like, I'm thinking of the universal roasting the Destiel fic set in the midst of the Haitian hurricane, or how controversial fics that are like "Blorbos experience the AIDS epidemic" are.

I think that kind of dark fic- processing a real life tragedy by imagining stories within it- really shouldn't be as maligned as it is, although I get why it pisses people off. It can come off as unempathetic to the real people affected by the real tragedy- "Oh real XYZians aren't sympathetic enough, you have to imagine your little guys to care?" But I don't think it's any worse than the other two types of dark fic I mentioned, and I think they're all forms of traumatic play.

Traumatic play is a behavior seen in kids who are attempting to process something terrible that happened to them. I'm thinking of a case study I read back in the day- a little girl had been kidnapped, but was returned to her family essentially unharmed. She insisted it wasn't that big a deal. But she'd been driven in a car for hours and hours, and months after the trauma would compulsively play "Barbie goes on a road trip", where she would put her dolls in their car and circle them around the room over and over again. She hadn't been allowed out to use the toilet and been forced to soil herself then sit in the mess- and when she finally tired of driving her dolls she'd take them to the bathroom sink and compulsively wash them till their paint wore off and their hair fell out. The unusual and rigid play was her way of trying to take this terrifying situation she couldn't really understand and trying to make it small enough she could play through it over and over until she understood it.

Teenagers and adults don't usually play with dolls, but they do make art and write stories. If a sheltered teenager reads about a famine or genocide or disaster and is disturbed and writes a fic of "What if my Blorbo was there" they are trying to take the thing they don't understand and combine it with something they do understand and running through the scenario to process it. Like, is it immature and unsophisticated and tactless? Quite possibly. But are they anymore so than a mentally ill teen who writes about their Blorbo struggling with anorexia and self-harm, or the abuse victim imagining their Blorbo being victimized, or even someone exploring their sexuality by kinkifying their Blorbo? No, I don't think so!

Let's be real- I'm not going to say "all dark kink/vent fic is bad" but a lot of it is not good. So many kink fics have the barest resemblance to canon and just exist to give familiar faces to whatever fetishes the author is exploring. "Woobification" literally exists as a term to describe the process by which a character's traits are smushed and warped to make them a more sympathetic victim. Other darkfic is wildly gleefully out of character as Character A enacts all the darkest violent vengeful fantasies the author can think of. These kinds of fics aren't defended because they're better than "disaster dark fic" but they are more gratifying.

There's a sadomasochistic twinge to a lot of vent fic, either in a literally sexually titillating way, or in smushing the parts of our brain that smirk with schadenfreude or tear up in empathy. It is very obvious what psychological needs the author is gratifying, so a reader will either share in that reaction, or- even if they don't share it and even if they're judgy about it- at least understand why someone would write that kind of story. Coming across a fic set in a real world tragedy, it is not immediately what the author is getting out of this, so I think that knee jerk offended reaction of "Why on earth would you write fic set in the Holocaust???" or what have you is much more frequently expressed, and it's harder for the author to explain why because they probably don't know themselves- they probably just heard about it and their brain came up with an idea while they tried to understand it and they felt compelled to write it down.

But like, to answer the question of "who would write this"- a lot of people do! There are a lot of novels of varying accuracy tact and quality set in every conceivable war, disaster, or tragedy imaginable. And treating that kind of fic as uniquely cringe or offensive is I think limiting to authors developing the skills to tell those stories in a non-awful way.

Again this isn't to be wholly uncritical of "disaster dark fic" because I do think there's real criticism that a lot of those fics unintentionally trivialize real tragedies or center white western males over the real victims for example. But do they trivialize tragedy in a way that's unique from how other forms of dark fic can potentially trivialize rape, abuse, or mental illness, or reflect societal biases? I don't think so.

[patricide1885]

All respect to everyone reading this with autism, but I could not date the vast majority of people with autism. Not just due to the emotional disconnect but also specifically due to the abnormal evaluation of danger and understanding of the importance of that.

My autistic roommate asked me to pick her up from the airport, she was like "fyi there are some engine problems but it should be fine". Immediately after I started driving I went up a hill and the engine stalled. I almost slid backwards down an extremely sleep hill right into a brick wall. You don't ask someone to drive a car with an engine that is completely stalling. It stalled again on my way home and I was blocking traffic, so after restarting the car 7 times I was able to pull into the neighborhood. And when I told her she didn't even act like it was a big deal, she asked where it was, and she'd driving her girlfriend back home with it... She was annoyed and was like "what do you want from me" when I was trying to get her to acknowledge the danger she's putting other people in.

It's like when I was out of needles for hrt and my autistic friend gave me used ones.

I can't do that. If it was a genuine accident and they cared and corrected after that would be one thing but that's not the case. That's just how they operate and what they think is okay due to their evaluation of risk. And the empathy gap doesn't help things. Not all autistic people are like this, but this is not a situation I want to find myself in ever again.

Imagine if I had slid backwards into the wall and gotten injured. She still wouldn't register what she did wrong and she'd be like "all well it happens" and she wouldn't have felt responsible because technically she didn't know it would stall on a hill, and I'd have to deal with the consequences of that possibly for the rest of my life.

I'm just venting here.

[nurseguillermo]

Who: Hunter Hilton & Mo Reyes Where: Pumpkin Festival Summary: Hunter vents to Mo about Val and how much this storyline sucks.

There weren't many people Hunter felt he could turn to in town, that number dropping by one and closer to one now that Val was seemingly out of the picture. He didn't want her to be, but given the situation, he didn't want to be around her right now. Instead he stormed around town looking for one of the two other people that came to mind that could offer support, and when he spotted one, Hunter beelined right for him. "Dude, you got a minute?"

Mo was still thrown from his talk with Cain, he'd hoped he and Val worked things out, if for nothing else so he didn't have to try and be helpful. They didn't mind Cain venting, but he struggled enough with handling his own feelings, let alone someone else's. There was a a small part that felt a little guilty that he wasn't better at being comforting, but he was the distraction guy. Least that's how he saw it. He'd been leaning against a building debating trying to find Eagan or one of his friends when someone dressed as mummy shambled in front of him.

Part of him was wondering if he had one shot too many when he recognized the voice. "Hunter? Damn dude just use all the fucking toilet paper in town why don't you," he said shaking his head. Cocking his head to the side he gave him a nod, "Yeah I'm on break, what's up?" Why was he still going along with Hunter's delusions? Cause it was the only way to get him to listen to Mo when he emphasized leaving the damn runes alone and follow curfew.

"Dude when I tell you I am having the worst fucking week you could imagine," Hunter sat himself down, segments of the toilet paper folding out of place and he pulled a load of it from around his head, discarding it onto the ground. "Like, I know you guys that work here are under NDA and strict contracts and whatever to like...not mention the outside world 'cause it shatters immersion and I'm am super happy that you actually break character for me but like...no one here knows who I am except like three people that I knew before all this and I'm finding it fucking weird. Like, fuck, I don't have my usual group of people for the like...support side of things."

He was rambling, he knew it, but he didn't give Mo chance to interrupt, wanting to get everything off his chest before Mo had to get back to work. "I think me and Val just broke the fuck up, but I don't know if we actually did 'cause we didn't really get to talk about it." He sighed. "And also, be honest, as my friend...am I attractive?"

Mo glanced up at the sky wondering what he'd done to suddenly be considered the relationship guy. Maybe he was spending too much time with Knightley, the whole good beside manner thing affecting him outside work. Plopping down on the bench next to Hunter he threw his arm over the back of it. He had to fight the urge to roll his eyes at the breaking character comment. At some point things would come full circle and he wasn't sure how Hunter would take it, as annoying as he could be Mo almost envied him. Ignorance was bliss after all. Bringing out a flask he took a few sips figuring he let him do his usual ranting before chocking when he called Val his girlfriend.

Sure the gossip column had said as much, and he'd spoken with Val over it. Her wanting to apologize for dragging him into it and like always he'd been willing to be a distraction. But hearing it from Hunter himself it still felt surreal, add in the realization that it seemed he had no idea of Mo and Val's situation. "She was pretty upset over the gossip column putting all her business out there," he said shrugging after clearing his throat, "So what did you talk about?" At his next question his eyebrows rose in surprise. Giving Hunter a brief once over he shrugged, "I mean when you're not covered in 10 rolls of toilet paper, I'd say yeah. So what is that what caused the break up?"

Mo was a good friend, a real friend. Hunter hadn't gone to the other guy much for advice but he'd always given him sound advice whenever Hunter had asked. That was something that didn't come easy, someone you could trust, especially in a town smaller than Hunter was used to. Everyone knew everyone, and everyone needed someone close. Hunter had Kirby, and Mo, and Val, but that last one was a little more up in the air.

"She seemed fine," he said with a shrug, "I told her it doesn't matter if you sleep with a load of people. Sure it ain't nice to have them fucking listed but it ain't the end of the fucking world. So we spoke about that, and then she said she likes me but wants to like other people and like-" he pulled a disgusted face, "-shit like that doesn't fly with me. You can't claim to be in love with multiple people at once, especially some guy she said she's known since school or whatever. Like that's ample time to know how you feel about someone. And it's fucking irritation dude...I really like her..." He shrugged, head shaking and looked down at the ground, genuine disappointment coming across his face. "It's 14 rolls, but I'll take that. They wanna say in the gossip column that I'm gay but literally no guys are actively trying to sleep with me, so what's the fucking point in spreading that rumour."

Mo's jaw clenched and he took a long sip from the flask as Hunter went on. Val hadn't been fine, one conversation and he should have known that. "People shit talked me towards the end of high school, it sucks in a small town to have people in your business like that," he said hoping maybe it click for Hunter that not everyone reveled in infamy. Staring at Hunter he thought over his own relationship, "I mean if you're not down for that then you're not down for it. Now's the time to get it out in the open if you two aren't on the same page about what you want." To him sex was sex, love was reserved now solely for Eagan, but that had been agreed on by them.

Drumming his fingers on his leg he shook his head, "Look dude, Val's been through more shit before we even graduated than most people go through in a lifetime. You can cut her a little slack for not wanting to fuck up a friendship." He'd been in the same boat after all. He held out the flask towards Hunter after taking another quick sip. "You sound... disappointed? Do you want dudes to hit on you or something?" The question was genuine. For the most part Mo would say he was straight, but lately he'd been thinking it over.

Hunter again gave a half-assed shrug. "That's what happens in small towns. It's basically a real life version of the internet: everyone knows each others fucking business and nothing stays private for more the three minutes." That's why he always preferred the cities, enough space to be what you wanted without scrutinisation unless you specifically put yourself into those scenarios. But here Hunter didn't have the luxury of knowing people, or having those same people to fall back on when shit got tough. Sure he'd tough it out himself, he'd had to build up a thick skin, but people would happily jump to his defense on his behalf. Here, he was flying completely solo, and it seemed each day there were more and more things being thrown at him to knock him off course. "I'm not down for that. That ain't how a fucking relationship is supposed to work. You're supposed to be someone's everything." Hunter Hilton the romantic, who would have thought it. "Yeah well, she seemed pissed so I'm gonna leave her to it. She knows where to find me when she's not with her other boyfriend."

Hunter debated taking a drink, but finally opted to take the flask, knocking back a considerable swig of whatever it was in there. "Yeah I'm fucking disappointed. You know what it's like to turn up somewhere where nobody thinks you're hot? When people are making all kinds of thirty content online. And fucking Liam making it sound like no one would wanna fuck me, I'm a fucking catch dude. Like people would be fucking lucky to get a fucking kiss out of me, let alone sleep with me. But I don't understand why people here don't find me hot..."

Mo hardly remembered the Internet, but if that was what it was like maybe it was for the best. His jaw clenched harder at Hunter's thoughts on relationships. "Maybe it's not for you, but it works for other people. I mean hell dude, Eagan is everything to me. I'd go fucking insane without her, but we're on the same page about keeping things open for sex." If it didn't work Hunter that was his right, but they hated how condescending it sounded over all. He was gripping his knee and shook his head, "So that's it then? You're just gonna ignore her now?"

Taking the flask back Mo took his own swing before stuffing it on his belt. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to hold his breath to relax but it came out in a huff. "Dude don't take this the wrong way, but you have a habit of trying to piss people off. You know if you're nicer I'm sure plenty of people would be down to fuck." His brow furrowed as he stared at Hunter, "So what Liam some guy you crushing on or something? Cause I know a couple guys who would be up for hooking up." Knightley would say Hunter was too young he mused, but Xander would likely be up for the bit of snagging an influencer. Though Lonnie had wanted to get into the gossip column he thought idly. "Just cause you're hot doesn't mean people want you if you act like a dick. It's suppose to be in your pants not in your personality."

The whole concept was weird as far as Hunter was concerned, definitely not something that worked for him and evidently he wasn't afraid to voice that opinion, a trait which thus far in life seemed to continually get him into trouble. "Well fuck man, maybe this shit is just a small town thing. Everyone in everyone's business literally, that's how the gossip column is so fucking stacked man, because everyone fucking already knows it." Was it really so wrong to want to be with the girl he liked without having to share her with other guys? Was his sex good enough for her to come back for but not good enough to want to stay with? "Fuck off, I ain't ignoring her. I'm giving her space. That's what you're supposed to do when a woman is pissed at you."

Hunter didn't get chance to take another drink before Mo had taken it back, and he just let out a disgruntled huff, leaning forwards so his elbows rested on his exposed knees. "No offense taken," he managed to bring out a chuckle; pissing people off had become Hunter's entire brand to the point it may as well be a personality trait, "but I don't want to fuck. Me and Val were doing fine." And then Liam's name was brought back and Hunter stood from the bench swiftly and defensively, "I do not have a crush on Liam of all fucking people. He started a fucking fight with me, then started to blame it on me and telling people I was pissed because he rejected me, and that I'm 'desperate' for his dick in me. Well news-fucking-flash, I don't wanna be some loser bottom for Liam." He folded his arms tightly across his chest, more toilet paper crunkling and falling from his body. "Besides, I'm always nice to people I wanna sleep with, so thats a shitty point to be making."

"Giving her space or running off cause she gave you an answer you didn't want?" Mo snapped, they were going in circles a bit and his own frustration was starting to show. He didn't think Val had done anything wrong, should she have been a bit more honest? Maybe, but it was also on Hunter to have communicated what he was looking for. "Look you both had different expectations for what you wanted this to be. You want actual advice maybe get it all out in the open and listen to how she's feeling before getting pissy someone isn't doing exactly what you want."

When Hunter jumps to his feet, Mo does at well not liking the look on the other guy's face. It took a minute for the name to click, he'd been drunk at Val's party but he remembered now. The guy was a new dad, and friends with Val. "Dude you sound way too hung up on a guy you just got in a fight with. A guy whose also friends with Val by the way, he was at her birthday party and everything." Shaking their head they stared at Hunter, "Like you can just ignore the guy, he's a new dad anyways. Pretty sure he's got better things to do than to keep telling people you're into him or whatever."

"I'm not fucking running off," Hunter was equally quick to snap back, frustrated at how much Mo was seeming to fight against him. Mo was supposed to be his friend, he was supposed to be helping him, supporting him, not questioning every other word that came out of Hunter's mouth. "Dude, it is out in the open, I did fucking listen, and I'm not being pissy...but I see what's going on here." A sudden realisation on Hunter's part. "Staff in this place obviously gonna stick together, to you guys guests just come and go, and I'm just another guest to you guys."

That was a thought that stung, but he swallowed that down and stood firm. "Oh yeah, the fucking birthday party, how could I forget, oh wait, because I wasn't fucking there." Now that still stung. He understood Val's reasons given the shit that just happened with Liam, and sure he got Val all to himself the next day, but instead of being at the barbeque with the few people he had come to call friends, he had been alone. "Well whoever the fuck decided to sleep with him needs their fucking brain tested, and you say he's got better things to do but he clearly doesn't when he keeps trying to fuck with my life."

Staff. For fuck sakes Mo was starting to regret playing along, but the guilt that Hunter could get actually hurt or worse had been too strong since he met him. Was he annoying and aggravating sure, but he was still just some guy who's come to the wrong town. That didn't mean he deserved to kick the bucket. "Dude if this was about staff sticking together I wouldn't be over here shooting the shit about it with you." What was it Knightley said about being a neutral observer or some shit? Yeah that sucked he didn't get how that worked outside of medicine. They did genuinely feel bad for Hunter, he didn't seem to have anyone in his corner. And while it was mostly his own fault, it just seemed so damn lonely. Even when he'd been at his lowest he still had his family, still had Eagan.

Mo briefly grimaced, right he'd talked about it with Val, she'd come frequently enough to talk it over. Him with his Eagan situationship and her romantic choose your own adventure drama. "You don't think she wanted you there? Come on dude it wasn't just Liam, I know you had beef with Cyan or something. That rune stunt didn't win you any favors either," he has to keep his temper in check briefly holding his breath. One of the runes he'd tried to fuck with had been Eagan's, it was only the fact that she chased him off before any actual damage could be done that had kept him from losing it. That and he did feel partly responsible for telling him about the runes in the first place. "You ever think about just burying the hatchet with those dudes? Just as Hunter man, not whatever Internet thing you got or had going on," he said. Val had said there was more to Hunter than what he showed most people, and he did believe that, he'd seen glimpses of it here and there. He frowned at the follow up comments, "You got in one fight, the hell else he done to you? You act like people are out to get you here."

“Exactly,” Hunter clicked at the air and pointed in Mo’s direction, “if it was a staff vs guests thing, you wouldn’t be talking to me about this shit. Which shows you’re actually a decent friend. Shows you care about me enough to not want me to get hurt!” It all rationalized so well in Hunter’s head that the clear disconnect that seemed to be happening was throwing him off a little.

“Cyan is…different. But he doesn’t go out of his fucking way to fucking antagonize me. How do you know about all that shit anyway?” Had Liam been talking to them all about Hunter’s life before the town, all the internet beef he had with people. Had Val told them all?! “Dude the rune shit was funny as fuck, never seen so many people freak out over some fucking graffiti on a door. People seriously need to lighten the fuck up.” Seriously he couldn’t have been the only person to mess with the runes since this place opened? “Fuck no. I’m only being nice to Cyan ‘cause he’s fixing my phone. Liam can fuck himself, take his freak baby and that fucking weird Lennon bastard and go wander into the woods with the ghosts for all I care.”

Mo blinked staring at Hunter's hand in front of him, he wasn't sure whether to laugh or not. At this point Hunter's way of making everything make sense to his point of view was borderline insane to them. "If I wanted you to get hurt I'd let you walk out at night or just best your ass myself," jury was still out on that last one. "I know Cyan too dude, we got stuck together during the storm. He was having a rough time," somehow that had turned into him being invited to hang out with him and his crew. He already knew a few of them, like Val or Wren, becoming actual friends with Cyan hadn't been the plan that night but he wasn't complaining. His jaw clenched and he glanced away seeing that hay ride again. How long Hunter could go before the truth hit him in the face he had no idea. Though he was starting to wonder if it ever would at this rate. Shaking his head he looked back at Hunter, his fist had moved before he could even think. Catching the other guy on the jaw, moving back he shook his hand out.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Some dude calls you gay so you say he and his kids should just fucking die? Those babies aren't even a year old dude," he snapped, "You know what? Dude wake the fuck up. I played along for way too long, I'm not some fucking paid actor. You said I'm your friend, so if I need to beat some fucking sense for you to get it through your head that this shit is real then fine." His fists had balled up at his side as he glared at Hunter, "Like what's it gonna take for you to realize this ain't some fucking theme park? Your rune stunt could have gotten someone killed, we already lost a whole family cause someone fucked with a door at the beginning of the year." Eagan, Val, and Cyan run through his head. "You know Val had to report in she found someone dead in the woods? Our old teacher went next. You even give a shit how much that hurt her?"

"You couldn't best me ass if your fucking life depended on it," cocky until the bitter end was Hunter Hilton. Considering Liam had just beaten his ass, there wasn't much doubt that Mo could probably do the same too. Fuck, he really needed self-defence lessons or fight practise or something. He couldn't be known as the one constantly getting clocked in the jaw. "Yeah but you don't know him like I know him. The Cyan he is here isn't the Cyan he is out there. He's like me, no matter how much he denies it, we're the fucking same." No new town, or new business or new baby would change that.

Hunter took in a sharp breath, ready to unleash another tirade of abuse out into the universe about Liam and how he was a waste of space when his speech was cut short by the sudden motion to his jaw. He stumbled back, disorientated, confused, landing once again on his ass, hand coming up to clutch at where he had been hit. "Are for fucking real?" He looked up at Mo, this glittering of betrayal in his eyes, "sick bastard can say he wishes I was dead but I can't fucking say the same?!" It was petty sure, but that was how Hunter worked, but Mo doing this hadn't been anticipated at all. He was always so chill...but now. "Nah y'know what, fuck the lot of you," he pushed himself to his feet, swaying a little as he regained his balance and his composure and his pride. "Enjoy your fucking game of besties. Sick fucks. Fuck Cyan. Fuck Liam. Fuck Val, and-" he paused, not wanting to say it as he looked over the guy who was supposed to be his best friend here, "-and fuck you Mo. We're fucking done."

[compassionatereminders]

I came to you to vent about this, 'cause I have no one else to talk and I just know you'll give me comfort just by answering it, even if just with a "I'm sorry"...

In resume, I live in a very violent country and security is inexistent in almost all places. Of course that those with money, who live in better neighborhoods, are more favored, but no one is really safe. All kinds of crimes occur every day in all regions, in a way that this has been normalized and no longer shocks most people. Unfortunately, I am poor and I'm easily touched by those crimes.

What happened is that today a man was murdered in front of my house. I was lying in the hammock on the terrace when I heard the five shots being fired. My dog was with me and she immediately ran to the gate and started to bark, I got up to take her and I saw (through the gate that gives access to the street) a glimpse of the killer running away. The shots were really really close to my house so I could hear it clearly. So so scary and loud.

I entered my living room and my parents went to see what happened. Soon curious people started to gather around the victim and the attitude of my parents (disappointed but not surprised) made me feel even worse. I told my dad to call the police and he didn't give a damn, he didn't let me call either, he said that I shouldn't tell what I saw and he and my mom stayed for a long time just looking at the man on the floor. They always have this kind of behavior in these situations, they even are in a group who sends pictures of murdered people where we live, just to see the bodies. My dad started to judge the victim, saying that "he was probably a naughty person". It doesn't matter who the person killed was and what he did, if he was killed with or without a reason, I really believe that it's not up to us to discus about that and that if we aren't helping we shouldn't be fucking around the lifeless body of whoever it is. That's something that really makes me sad. After the police came (I'm glad that someone had sense and called it) and people found out who the victim was, my mom knew who the man's wife was, it was a woman that she didn't like and she cursed her in front of me.

It all happened at around 10:00 P.M., now it's 05:00 A.M. and I can't sleep, I can't stop thinking about what happened, I can't stop thinking about my parents' behavior. They disappoint me in a lot ot things in life. This is one of them. The lack of empathy for others. I don't know how to filter their thoughts and attitudes that I consider absurd, I never learned how to do that. I try to act differently but at the same time I didn't have the courage to call the police myself, I can't stop blaming myself for being more afraid of disobeying their orders than standing up for what's right. I can't stop thinking about the people in my country who live in even worse conditions than me, there are people who wake up to the sound of gunshots every day... I can't stop thinking about how it could be any of us on that floor, about my dog, about how the person who did that is still free and how my parents can sleep peacefully even after what they heard and saw.

That sounds incredibly scary and distressing and I can't even imagine how hard it must be to cope with such an experience. I'm sending all my love and I'm so sorry you don't have access to the safety and security you deserve