#i'm pretty sure it's because I went to pick it up yesterday and they couldn't find it (because apparently I DID have the wrong address)

[one-winged-dreams]

Well hi lady at the print counter at Walmart being a huge cunt right out of the gate for no reason

[unveranosinseb0514]

The Hill House - Prologue

Pairing: Sebastian Vettel x fem!reader; Fernando Alonso x fem!reader; Mark Webber x fem!reader; Jenson Button x fem!reader.

Tw: Fluff, smut eventually, age gap (slightly big, reader's on her 20s), a little oc!everybody but some stuff are pretty accurate and don't ask me how I know, pet names, small talk about sexual experiences, maybe use of 'y/n' a few times, MINORS DNI!!!, that's it for now!

Words: 4.0K...or something like that

THH Masterlist

"Dad?!" I asked a little loudly, sitting on my bed with several clothes spread out, the open suitcase on my lap revealed what I was doing.

I always ended up fumbling with clothes, the room looked like a hurricane had passed through, but I decided to just ignored that fact and went back to folding the clothes, since i was little, I was completely clumsy with this kind of things, and we didn't even travel that much.

"Yes sweetie?!" I could hear my dad's voice, somewhat muffled because it was far away, coming from hus room which was diagonal to mine, on the other side of the hallway "What's wrong?"

"Do you know where I put-" I began to speak slowly, distracted, looking under the bed.

"Your slippers?" he asked as if he had suddenly read my mind. Couldn't help but laugh "Yeah...how did you know?"

"You always forget, and yesterday you gave them of to me and made sure I reminded you not to forget them...did you forgot that?" he appeared with an affectionate smile on his lips, offering the red slippers.

"What would I do without you? Thank you!" I thanked him lovingly, sending a dramatic kiss on the air as soon as I picked what he brought me, placing it inside the suitcase, happily.

We were going on vacation, stay for a month in the big house on the hill, it has been in my family for ages, Mediterranean style, it is beautiful in any season, specially the one's that were warm when the sun is up and cold when the sun is down, it's practically a cabin isolated from everything and everyone, brought a certain peace, and since my older brother left home, we never went there again, even though we liked it and had gotten used to it, we have great memories of my mother there, I shared the same feelings as my father and we didn't thought it was as fun with just two people, although we loved the company from one another. We became extremely close after my mom passed away and now we are like flesh and blood.

Right now, i was on summer vacation from college, my father saw this as the perfect opportunity to travel, he has worked with Formula One forever, all I remembered about when I was younger were cars running very fast, Ferrari's and several numbers on the screen that didn't make sense at the time. I became really interested for the first time when I was 16, and went for the first time with 17, but at 18 I was always there with my father, behind the scenes...well, the stock of tyres to be more accurate, the big screens full of numbers. I've always been a girl who's easy to communicate with and I make friends very easily, over the years, I ended up getting closer to some drivers and ex-driver, all of whom were good friends with my father and were incredibly nice to me, but I ended up taking a special liking to four of them.

"You can take the car" I heard my father's deep voice, immediately taking me out of my thoughts. "What?!" immediately surprised, my eyes widening slightly like two balls, he almost never let me drive his car, I walked quickly to where the tallest one was and placed the back of my hand on his forehead, as if I wanted to measure his temperature "are you okay?!"

"I'm fine, hon, I just won't be able to go with you, you know...duty calls me" the oldest said, letting out an awkward laugh, running his hand through the hair at the back of his neck, he already knew what I was going to say.

I was picking up my bags and placing them on the living room carpet when I heard, my shoulders drooping in a certain discouragement, having a slightly uncomfortable look on my face with the news, my father sometimes was up to his neck in work, it bothered me because we only had each other and from time to time it was a bit lonely, he always came home tired, exhausted, and that wasn't good for him either.

"Dad...again?! Weren't we on vacation?! You waited to take your vacations with me! So we could spend more time together" I said, more disappointed than angry.

"I know! but I promise it's quick, I'll sort it out soon, you won't even miss me and I know you'll be in good hands, I'll be there soon, it's a promise, and i don't want you to have to wait for me, okay?! Take my car" he said calmly and lightly, because it wasn't something easy to hear, he had an apologetic smile, because he knew it wasn't what i wanted to hear for sure, then he handed me the keys, which I accepted somewhat disappointed, even though I tried poorly to hide it, receiving a kiss on the top of my head to try to cheer me up, I grumbled, sighing immediately afterwards, couldn't get angry with him, I knew that If it wasn't something important, he would just ignore it, so i slowly looked at him and suddenly gave him a big hug to say goodbye...or at least farewell.

I actually went to the hill alone, listening to my music, distracting myself with the landscape, however, the only thing that cheered me up was seeing the boys on the moment I stepped out of the car, they all came to welcome me as if they could feel my arrival, and for a few hours, I actually forgot that my father was missing there, missed them so much that didn't even notice anything else. Fernando I could see more often because he's still active - and thank God he is - but the others are retired, Sebastian lives holed up in his beautiful house in the country he was born in, Mark and Jenson are too busy working at Sky, and the Brit is running again! Can't always travel to see them because I have college, so all thoughts about anything that wasn't here, went away, to make room for them.

"So...an actress huh? Don't forget us when you get famous, Darling" Jenson said as he let out a laugh, his accent present - as well as everyone else's -, sitting on the bench at the kitchen island, his first two fingers on the wing of the hot cup, it had a familiar and very subtle smell of peach, he was wearing light blue and plaid pajamas, the freckles drawing attention with the beam of sunlight that entered the kitchen and was almost on his face, it was an afternoon sun, orange, so it doesn't bother that much.

"this should be considered treason, i remember very well that you said you would be an engineer" Seb commented with a smile on his face, teasing me, his arms crossed while he was lying on the kitchen sofa that was glued to the wall, practically lying down as if he were in his bed, with the pillows stuck to his side, wearing comfortable red clothes, which highlights his blonde hair and beautiful piercing blue eyes, he always had a lovely smile too, which can quickly leave someone embarrassed.

"I didn't promised anything to anyone!" I commented laughing, adjusting myself on the sofa, next to Seb. Button agreed with me while the German said he was the biggest ass kisser to ever exist on earth, but that was his way of showing love... other than teasing someone.

"But what do you do there, exactly? What do you study?" Mark asked curiously, he was making something to eat and ended up getting his hands dirty like the beautiful disaster he is on the kitchen, he ended up picking up his already bitten apple from the counter with his mouth, making me smile, everything they did was absurdly...them. The Aussie wore an orange outfit that looked more like sportswear, the socks with flip-flops almost caught my attention more than his beautifully defined face with his beard that was already starting to grow, now noticing that maybe I liked them with a beard...it gave them a different look...

"What do you think she studies there you bloody Aussie?" Jenson asked laughing with an obvious tone.

"Hey, you don't need to be rude Jenson, the question was more specific, i understood" i said throwing one of the pillows in his direction, which he caught in the air with just one hand, boasting about his quick reflexes right after, showing off his muscles, which made me roll my eyes playfully but i didn't look too much, even though he wasn't in Formula One, he was still strong and didn't need him to catch me eyeing him and tease me for the next few days.

"shorup mate... I don' knom" the tall man said with some difficulty due to his busy mouth, shrugging and biting the apple stuck between his teeth, which fell on the counter as soon as the piece was torn off, he was only holding with his lips. "Nando, what did your ex-girlfriend do when she studied? One of them was an actress, right?" His Australian accent was present in the nickname he used for the Spanish driver, getting a bit distracted and distracting all of us before i could even think to answer

Fernando, who was entering the kitchen, stopped, holding the laces of his gray sweatpants, about to tie them as soon as they called his name, he looked at us slowly with a curious look, wanting to understand the reason for the question, he held the hem of his shirt with his mouth so he could see better what he was doing, giving us a few seconds to observe his slightly tanned abs, not so defined, but strong, which i immediately looked away, no matter how tempting it was, who did something so simple turn something so...hot like that? But I soon remembered that he's the Spanish, and he always had a reputation for showing off. I pretended to be interested in something else before i felt my face heating up any more, hoping they wouldn't notice the small faint of blush on my cheeks, but of course, someone noticed. While the boys talked, the German watched everyone, and without meaning to, we made eye contact as soon as i turned my face, the man just let a slow, sideways smile appear on his lips, realizing how embarrassed i was with so little, but he didn't say anything, as if he wanted to keep my reaction between us, he looked at everything and everyone so intensely from time to time that probably was able to leave me embarrassed more quickly than Fernando's body, however, after being caught, i quickly and a little panicked looked at my lap, he had something in his eyes that I couldn't decipher... but soon i convinced myself that it was just my mind playing games with me and i paid attention to the boys' discussion.

"Just because I dated an actress doesn't mean I know how it works" his voice carried an obvious tone as he opened the fridge after finishing tying his pants

"If not, by this point, Fernando would have learned absolutely everything, he dated a woman with every job, if you count all the women he's ever dated... my goodness" I joked, making the boys laugh and the oldest one sit next to me, ruffling my hair calmly as a 'payback' for the joke, soon i hit his hand only to stop what he was doing, still having fun with the situation as I straightened some tangled or misplaced strands.

"Jealous, cariño? You can be next if you want" he said in a low voice, worthy of a flirt, carrying a beautiful Spanish accent as he slowly moved my hair aside so that it was behind my shoulders, I quickly grabbed a pillow and hit him with it, he ended up laughing with the others after the small tension, this man had a very easy way to make me blush and I didn't need one more thing for them to provoke me, which we already did with each other quite frequently and without much effort.

I simply loved this kind of environment, it was a bit chaotic, funny, a real mess...but it's absolutely them...and it had been so long since I knew what it was like to truly laugh, it was so good to have them here next to me, even got a little lost in what they were talking about, talking loudly, joking, specially with the German and Spanish now taking part in the conversation even more, but my ear caught a word in the most inopportune way possible, I didn't even follow the rest of the sentence but it woke my curiosity, the word was "virgin"

"Wait, what?" I shook my head as if coming out of a trance, blinking a few times, looking curiously at the boys who stopped talking and just stared at me.

"Oh boy, I said that Mark had to be careful or else everyone would know he was a virgin until he got to Formula One" Jenson said letting out an amused laugh, which made my eyes widen. "Really?! Till Formula One? I thought that you, being in this field, would be faster with it, besides... you are men, let's face it, there is no being more desperate for sex than you all" I joked with a depth of truth, making them laugh together

"But you're kind of right, I lost at 16" the British said, adjusting himself in his chair and taking a sip of his tea as if he had said the most 'everyday' thing possible.

"I think mine was at 17" the youngest said, making a face while thinking a little

"Mine too" the blonde nodded

"I had chosen to wait, do you guys have a problem with that?" Mark said sarcastic, getting more laughs from us

"Jesus, you are all promiscuous" I took advantage of the fact that we were all laughing and made another joke that made them laugh even more, the atmosphere was nice, everybody having fun, Jenson on the verge of tears

"I didn't hear you saying your age, Lieb" Seb's voice suddenly came out, which ended up silencing the laughter slowly and making me the center of attention of the relaxed and casual men in front of me.

I simply stopped, feeling my cheeks inevitably heat up a little, they were staring with the most relaxed and curious look of all, but Sebastian, for a few seconds, seemed like he had brought this up on purpose, i wasn't expecting that kind of question, and he knew that. I cleared my throat, looking elsewhere, scratching the back of my head, thinking about the best way to answer that question and to buy myself a little time... would it be easier if I lied? Maybe being honest was the best case? I slowly parted my lips but only after a few seconds, they uttered a sound "Well I..."

"You can't say you don't remember" Fernando said, adjusting his position on the sofa next to me, paying attention to my answer.

"There's...no way...I can remember...what...I never did" my voice reached highs and lows due to shame, avoiding eye contact while speaking so slowly, but even so I could already feel the looks of shock in the agitated silence at this point, words slowly sinking in their brains.

"No, wait a minute, it's a lie, right?" Button asked with a smile, while i sigh, creating the courage to look at him and just shook my head, denying it. I had no idea why that sudden embarrassment by the fact that I was still a virgin, maybe because it was the first time I was talking out loud about it with other people, especially with them, but I was always a girl who was very resolved with that fact, but having them look at me like that, probably made me a little shy... did I really look like I was that "adventurous" in that department?

"Oh, come on guys? There's no shame in that..." I let a laugh with a slight blush on my cheeks, speaking more to myself than to them.

"Do you have any special motivation?" Seb asked curiously, adjusting himself on the sofa as if the topic had become more interesting, while my cheeks burn a little more. "W-Well... no, I just...never believed in that nonsense they put into girls' heads that they need to 'lose it with someone special', it takes away their sexual freedom... but... I never felt comfortable enough to be able to do anything other than kissing someone... I don't believe in the "special person" bullshit but it also doesn't mean I'm going to do it with just anyone, not everyone deserves it, anyway" explained calmly, didactic even, and at this point, i should've wanted to stick my head in a hole after sharing my intimate life in this way with 4 older men that I call 'friends' but... the vibe was comfortable, they made me comfortable, I felt like I could ramble on about this for hours and hours, plus as soon as I finished saying it, I received understanding looks, nods agreeing with me and relaxing smiles.

"It makes perfect sense and there's nothing wrong with that...but have you ever imagined it with someone?" the Brit man asked, as always, curious and attentive.

"Even if you considered the person unreachable" before I could respond, Nando said looking at me, but there was something...strange in his eyes, the question sounded a bit personal and the way he looked at me made me remain silent for a few seconds, analyzing his question, it was as if he knew something, Mark just nodded quickly to his friend's statement.

"Well, maybe...? it's not like I can control that kind of thing... Who i desire...but I don't remember who it was..." I replied, but I lied, remembering clearly every time I wished, even if it was for just 5 minutes, each of the men in this kitchen, I found myself wondering what it would be like to feel their touch, their kiss, their skin on mine... contemplating whether I would feel comfortable enough to lose my virginity with any of them if i ever get the chance... and the answer in these lustful daydreams was always the same: yes. I would never have the courage to tell them this and it's... a little unsettling to talk about it because at some point I could answer a question in the worst possible way and they could end up discovering this secret... Too afraid of ruining things between us to tell...of course it would ruin it, who would think it's normal to hear your friend's daughter admit that she has had sexual fantasies with you? In addition to the fact that it would feel awful to stay on the same room knowing that, and one of my worst nightmares was to end up loosing this bond that we have because of a confession of something that teenage y/n, full of raging hormones, felt and that...maybe they extended into adulthood...either way, it's a no. The silence became comfortable again, despite feeling that they were more curious about this subject, but decided not to dwell on it too much, they didn't want to overwhelm me, make me feel uncomfortable, so quickly i clear my throat and change the subject, which they follow, knowing that i had talked about my intimacy enough for today...and God, I have long weeks ahead with them...

A/n: be patient with the next chapters 🙏🏻 i'm writing as fast as i can! And the pictures aren't mine!

[roosterforme]

A Love You Don't Find Everyday Part 22 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: As the honeymoon begins, Bradley's credit cards are begging for mercy. But when you both consider the private pool, private deck, and private outdoor shower that you will have access to, he helps you see that it's worth every cent. Then he continues his mission of trying to knock up his wife.

Warnings: Fluff, smut, and swearing

Length: 4000 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Check out my masterlist for more!

Bradley stood on the curb with the luggage while you hugged Jake. The two of you were laughing about some inside joke that he didn't understand while you rubbed Jake's shoulder. He would never fully comprehend the two of you.

"Any chance I can have my wife now?" Bradley asked, hands planted on his hips. He was so anxious to get you alone again. Yesterday and last night had been a dream come true, and now he was more than ready to get to Hawaii.

You and Jake both turned to look at him. "I'm coming, Roo." You kissed Jake's cheek and thanked him for dropping you off at the airport, and then you were in Bradley's arms. 

"Call me when you land in ten days, and I'll come pick you up," Jake drawled. 

"Thanks," Bradley muttered, fist bumping Jake as you looked up at him. 

"Let's go," you whispered, and Bradley kissed the tip of your nose. He followed you into the airport, and when you went to check the bags, he pointed to the luggage you were pulling along. 

"Is that all the goodies?" he asked, looking at the suitcase. 

You laughed and bit your lip. "Are you referring to the lingerie?"

"Mmhmm," he hummed, already mentally scrolling back through the photos you sent to him the day you tried everything on. 

"Yep. And there are some other special items in there as well."

When Bradley set that suitcase on the scale, he asked the airline worker, "Is there any way you can one hundred percent guarantee this bag makes it to Honolulu? It's very important."

You were holding his hand and shaking with silent laughter, and somehow Bradley managed to get the guy to put a PRIORITY tag on the suitcase. 

"I still can't believe you, Roo," you whispered when you were settling into the window seat in first class while Bradley took the aisle seat. "You got a priority tag for my underwear."

He leaned in close and kissed your lips. "Listen, my main goal for the next ten days is spending every minute with you. I love you. Everything about you. But I also happen to know how sexy you look in all that stuff, so it's definitely a priority for me."

Bradley watched you preen. He thought about you all the time, could get hard for you in an instant. Literally couldn't get enough of you. But he needed to make sure he always told you so, because the smug look on your face made him almost giddy knowing what he was in store for this week.

As the plane started to taxi the runway, you laced your fingers with his and looked out the window. "Have you ever wanted to fly a commercial jet?" you asked him as the plane gained altitude and the city grew smaller beneath you. 

"Nah, the controls are too bulky, and I don't even like having one backseater let alone a hundred or more. I'll stick to my Super Hornet."

You were quiet for a while, gently stroking Bradley's palm with your fingers while you rested your head on his shoulder. He was so content, he was nearly falling asleep as you softly asked him, "Feel like joining the Mile High Club with me?"

Bradley was wide awake now.

But you were biting your lip a little nervously. "Well, you're probably already in the Club, but you wanna come help me get my membership?" 

He leaned in closer to you and asked, "What makes you think I'm in the Mile High Club?"

"You're a pilot. And you've traveled all over the place. I just figured it would have been something you checked off your bucket list pretty early."

"I'm not in the Mile High Club, Baby Girl. Who would I have even done that with?"

You shrugged. "Maybe one of your ex girlfriends?"

He shook his head. "You know I only had two of those. And I never even flew anywhere with either of them."

Your lips parted as you smiled at him. "Oh my god, Roo. Please, let me pop your commercial lavatory cherry." Your eyes lit up with desire and excitement and need. 

"Let's go, Sweetheart." Bradley stood and took you by the hand, and the two of you squeezed into the tiny bathroom together. He was smashing you into the sink just to be able to get the door closed, and you were giggling now.

"This is tiny!" you gasped, turning to face the mirror and pulling down your leggings for him.

Bradley unzipped his jeans and pulled out his hardening cock. "You better be quiet, Sweetheart. It's already fucking obvious what we're doing in here. The guy in 3B gave me the head nod in approval when we walked past," Bradley told you, stroking himself as you wiggled your ass back against him. 

"He did not," you whispered, still giggling. 

"He really fucking did. And the woman in 2D looked appalled. Now bend over."

You did as you were told, bracing your hands on the sink and nearly face planting into the mirror when Bradley thrust into you. "Roo!"

"Hang on tight, Baby Girl. Gotta make this quick," he told you, grabbing your hips, and wrapping his fingers around you so he knew he was touching your tattoo. 

"You're never quick," you told him, grabbing onto the paper towel dispenser for support. "That's why I married you." 

Bradley's sharp thrusts had you whining softly as he filled you over and over again. His ass hit the wall every time he withdrew from you, so he kept to shallow movements. 

"I'll be quick now," he promised, looking at your gorgeous face in the mirror as you smiled at him. "And if I don't get you off in this fucking tiny room, I'll take care of you twice later at the hotel."

"Okay," you agreed, and Bradley fucked you as you whined his name and smiled, and soon he was filling your pussy to the brim with his cum. 

He thought for a second that if he managed to get you pregnant on the honeymoon, he might like to claim it happened right here. On an airplane. As you both checked an item off your bucket lists together.

-----------------------------

You fell asleep on Bradley for the rest of the flight. You had no idea which hotel Bradley had booked, and every time you asked him, he wasn't giving you any extra information. 

"You'll like it, Baby Girl. Promise." That was all you could get out of him. Maybe you should have been more involved with this aspect of planning. Because after you gathered your luggage at baggage claim in Honolulu, Bradley led you out to a limousine with a driver holding a sign that said Bradshaw. Once you were inside, Bradley popped a bottle of champagne while the driver took a rustic, winding road that had the most beautiful views of the ocean.

"Are you going to tell me where we are going?" you asked Bradley, holding a champagne flute in one hand and stroking his cheek between kisses with the other. 

"Nope," he replied, pulling you onto his lap. "We'll be there soon, and then you can see for yourself. But for now, I just want to kiss you before you're mad at me."

You nibbled on his lips before pausing. "Why would I be mad at you?"

But then you understood, because you drove into an absolutely beautiful hotel complex, right past a sign that said Four Seasons Resort Waikiki. 

"What did you do?" you asked Bradley, suddenly in shock.

He tried to kiss along your neck as you pulled away from him. "I just booked our perfect honeymoon. You told me I could, Sweetheart. I picked the Four Seasons for us."

You gaped at him as you passed the most beautiful hotel accomodations you had ever seen. "The Four Seasons? How much money are we spending on this, Bradley?"

"Don't worry about it," he said, still reaching for you. And now you were worrying even more. 

"I told you to stick to a budget!"

He licked his lips nervously. "You never said what the budget was."

You laughed nervously as the limousine pulled up to the lobby. "Just tell me this... will we be able to pay our mortgage next month?"

"Of course," he replied with a grin. "I just wanted you to be happy, Sweetheart. Now think of all the money I saved by giving you my mom's ring instead of buying  a new one."

"I love this ring, and I didn't want a new one," you promised as he kissed your finger.

"And our perfect parking lot wedding budget was tiny," he added. "Would have cost four times that much if we went with a different venue."

"Okay," you said, finally agreeing with him. "You're probably right. So we can really afford this?"

"Yes, my love. Now let's go check in."

--------------------------

Bradley had two maxed out credit cards, and he was going to suggest that you and he skip Christmas presents this year. But the look on your face when you and he strolled through the hotel lobby was worth every penny spent on the lingerie and the wedding and the honeymoon. And getting to spend ten days alone with you in paradise made it even better.

"This is beautiful," you whispered, pausing to look at an arrangement of hibiscus flowers as Bradley took out his credit card and ID. 

"Just wait until you see our room," he told you, lacing his fingers with yours. "Private deck. Private pool. Private outdoor shower. I will be fucking you everywhere."

You looked up at him as he stroked your lips with his thumb. When you licked along his thumbnail before taking the digit between your lips, Bradley groaned. 

"Okay," you whispered. "You're right. This place was worth every penny."

He nodded as he handed his credit card over the counter. And thank goodness you didn't freak out when you heard the clerk read off the total price of the room before he said, "Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Bradshaw! If you need anything else in your villa, don't hesitate to ask. Here are the keys to your golf cart and a map."

"Golf cart?" you asked, taking the keys in your hand. You were both led out to your own cart complete with a plaque on the side with Bradshaw engraved on it. 

"The resort is several acres large, and you're staying at the north end in a private villa. Enjoy your honeymoon!"

And then you were alone together amidst the most beautiful vegetation Bradley had ever seen in his life. But you still stood out, even dressed in your leggings and little crop top with the hoodie over it that you wore on the flight. He kissed you before making sure all of your luggage had been loaded onto the back of the cart. Then he nudged the suitcase filled with your lingerie and said, "Got the most important stuff. Now, do you want to go find one of the restaurants and get dinner?"

You eased into the driver's seat and patted the spot next to you. "I was thinking...why don't we just order room service tonight and explore the resort tomorrow?"

You were nibbling on your lip, and when Bradley climbed in next to you with the map, you started stroking his thigh instead of the seat. "You're so smart," he whispered, pressing a kiss to your neck as you started the cart and pulled away from the lobby area. "Are you on the room service menu? You're all I want to eat."

You laughed as Bradley helped you navigate through the lush, tropical landscape, past pools and along a beach trail. It was gorgeous, and in about an hour, the sun would be setting over the water. 

"It's right up here, Sweetheart. Villa number seven." It was secluded, tucked back amongst shrubs with colorful flowers and palm trees, and there was a little parking spot for the golf cart. 

"This whole thing is for us?" you asked, hopping out and heading up the path to the door. Bradley followed behind you with the key, and opened the door. 

"It's all for us, Baby Girl." You took his hand and led him through the expansive living room area and past the opulent bathroom, directly to the king sized bed that was overlooking a wall of windows and a view of the sun dipping lower over the ocean.

"Okay," you whispered, releasing his hand to stand by the windows and look outside. "You did good, Roo. Are you hungry for room service?" Bradley smirked as you unzipped your hoodie and tossed it on the dresser. 

He stayed frozen on the far side of the bed, just watching you. "I'm hungry for you. My wife."

With a smirk of your own, you removed your shirt, and Bradley's cock was at full attention for you. He ran his palm down the front of his jeans as you wiggled out of your leggings. "Fuck," he grunted. The sight of you in your matching black bra and underwear was making him harder, especially since he knew his cum had soaked that pretty lace fabric after he fucked you on the flight. "You're perfect."

"You sure we shouldn't order dinner first?" you asked, unhooking your bra and letting it fall to the floor. You pressed your tits together, and Bradley had to unzip his jeans for some relief. 

When you slid your panties down your legs and stepped out of them, he growled, "Show me that pussy." Obediently and with wide eyes, you turned to face him fully. He knew how you smelled and how you tasted. He knew how velvety soft you felt, and he loved the way you groomed your hair into a neat strip. As you shifted your weight from one hip to the other, his eyes landed on your tattoo, and he reached into his jeans to stroke himself. 

"That pussy is mine now, and I want it," he demanded, and your lips fell open on the prettiest whimper he ever heard. "Bring it over to me, Sweetheart. We have a legally binding contract now."

"Bradley," you whispered, taking slow, seductive steps in his direction. Your nipples were hard peaks, and your pupils were blown wide. He knew how turned on your were as you licked your lips and squeezed your thighs together. He was just as turned on by you. 

He reached out and ran his knuckles along your tattoo and across the soft skin below your belly button. "Whose pussy is it, Baby Girl? Who does it belong to now?"

You let your head tip back as he stroked one long, rough finger along your slit. "It's yours, Daddy."

"That's right, Mrs. Bradshaw. Now get in bed."

Bradley watched you scramble up onto the middle of the bed on your knees while he undressed. Your body was illuminated by the setting sun as you ran your hands along your chest and belly, your thighs spread wide for him. Bradley crawled across the bed on all fours until his lips met your belly button and trailed lower as you moaned his name. 

"You smell like me. Like my cum," he groaned, pressing his nose to your clit as your fingers ran through his hair. When he swiped his tongue along your slit, eliciting a sharp gasp from you, he said, "You taste like me, too." Bradley held you in place on your knees and licked at your clit, tasting his own release from several hours ago, and getting so hard, he was ready to rut against the bed. 

"Mmm," you moaned, fingers tightening in his hair as he lapped at you. "You taste good, Roo."

He smiled against you, placing a soft kiss to your tattoo before he straightened up on his knees and kissed your shoulder, neck and lips. He pulled you against him so his hard cock was pressing into your belly, and he wrapped his hands around your waist. He licked your bottom lip. "You like it when I cum in your mouth."

"I love it," you whispered, kissing him as he eased you down onto your back with your head against the pillows. He knelt between your thighs and spread your legs wide. He ran his middle finger lazily up and down over your swollen clit. You looked so pretty like this, the fading sunlight catching on your ring as you ran your hand along the valley between your tits. 

You whimpered as he slipped his middle finger inside you and continued stroking you with his thumb. "You wanna taste my cum now, don't you?"

"Please?" you whispered. 

"No," he replied, laying between your legs and dipping his face down. He took your clit between his lips, sucking gently until you were yanking on his hair and whining. He fucked you with his fingers and looked up at your body. God, he wanted you pregnant in the worst way. He figured you were probably ovulating now, but all the unprotected sex you'd been having was making him wild for you. "This pussy was made for my cum, Baby Girl."

"Oh, God, Bradley," you groaned, grinding up against his face. You were splayed so nice and wide for him, as he got you so wet, you were dripping onto the bedding. 

"I'm gonna fuck you so good," he growled. "Be so good to my wife."

You were grinding up against his face, feet braced as your lower back came off the bed. Your needy whining was so loud, Bradley's cock was throbbing. As you got louder with every breath you took, he sucked on you with less and less pressure until you were crying out. Bradley lapped at you as you came for him, gushing into his mouth as you nearly tore his hair out. 

"Fuck," he growled, his mustache damp as you pulled him up to your mouth. Bradley let you lick his face clean as you rubbed your wet core against him until he was bucking. Your lazy smile and languid movements after your orgasm made him wild. 

"I love getting your mustache wet, Roo," you whispered, swiping your tongue along his facial hair one more time before you giggled. 

He nipped at your lips. "I love this pussy."

Bradley watched your head tip back as he pushed his cock inside you, inch by inch until you were full. He reached for your left hand and kissed your ring as he fucked you nice and slow. 

"Roo," you gasped, smiling up at him as he ran his lips all over your palm and fingers. 

"This ring is so everyone knows your mine," he told you, and you bit your lip through your hazy expression as he fucked you a little harder. "But my cum is just for you. Just for you to feel. So know how much I love you."

"Bradley!" you gasped, eyes wide as he fucked you hard and ran his needy hand along your bounching tits. He pinned your left hand above your head with his right hand, and really let you have it. "Oh!" you screamed as he fucked you so hard, he was cumming after just a few seconds. "Oh!"

He was panting against the front of your neck, running his lips along your tits as he kept fucking his cum into you. Bradley licked at the sheen of sweat on your chest. "I love you." 

You kissed the top of his head and whispered, "I love you too, Roo. So much." And when he sat up, exhausted, and withdrew himself from your gorgeous body, he was treated to the sight of you swiping your fingers through his cum as it seeped out of you. He watched intently as you brought your fingers to your lips and moaned at how good you tasted together. You swirled your fingers through your dripping pussy again, moaning as you sucked yourself clean.

Bradley leaned down and kissed you. "You're filthy and perfect and everything I want."

---------------------------

Thirty minutes later, you and Bradley were wrapped up in fluffy robes eating lobster tails on the deck in the dusk glow. You were perched on his lap, taking the last bite of your food before pressing your lips to his cheek. "Can we open a bottle of champagne?" you asked, letting your lips drift along his scars. 

"We can do anything you want."

You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck as he took the empty plate from your hands. "Anything?"

"Anything, Sweetheart. For the next nine days."

"I want to drink champagne with you in the bathtub while we complain that our tub at home is nicer."

Bradley laughed. "I love that. What else?"

"I want to kiss you all night."

"Sounds perfect," he told you, standing up and keeping a grip on you while you squeaked. "What else?" He started to carry you inside to the bathroom where he filled the tub with water and bubbles. Then he untied the sash on your robe as you shrugged out of it.

"I just want to love you."

He nodded and took his own robe off and pulled you close. "Please."

Bradley popped a bottle of champagne from the refrigerator, and you laughed as it started overflowing into the tub. When he climbed in before he grabbed the champagne flutes, you held him in place when he tried to climb back out. "Let's just drink it from the bottle again," you whispered. Somehow you preferred this anyway. You'd done it so many times with him, it felt more intimate. 

So you curled your legs up and settled back against his chest as he took a long sip from the bottle. When he handed it to you, he whispered, "Thank you for marrying me this year, Baby Girl. I would have waited if you wanted to, but I like this a lot better."

You pressed the bottle to your lips and took a sip, swallowing the bubbles as you thought about how you had inadvertently made him question whether or not you still wanted to marry him a few months ago. You bumped his shoulder with the bottle, scrambling to wrap your arm around his neck as you turned to face him. 

"Everything okay?" he asked, welcoming you into his embrace as always, making sure you knew he loved having you there like usual. 

"Yes," you promised, setting the bottle down and kissing him. "I love you so much. And I'm happy we didn't wait until next year." You kissed him as he wrapped you up in his arms, and you traced his tattoo with your thumb as the water grew colder. 

"Let's go to bed," he said, coaxing you into a fluffy towel.

A few minutes later, you started to fall asleep on Bradley's shoulder as the sound of the ocean drifted in through the open windows. His fingers stroked along your back and side as he whispered to you everything he wanted to do with you for the rest of your lives. And it just made sense, because somehow you wanted everything he wanted. You supposed you always had. 

--------------------------------

The priority tag on the luggage was brilliant thinking, Roo. Thank you @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls for everything.

PART 23

@mak-32

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@swthxrry

@chassy21

@yaboid19

@solacestyles

@avoirlecoupdefoudre

@daisyhollyxox

@callsigndiamond

@harper1666

@throwinsauce

@beebslebobs

@awesomebooklover17

@wintercap89

@whosyourgnomie4

@rosesinmars

@blog-name6996

@bcon24

@wishfulwithwine

@backinwonderl4nd

@monte-carlando

@tetragonia

@gingerbreadandpaper

@emptyloverofmine

@apparently-sunshine

@chaoticassidy

@missmirandafe

@topgunbb

@changlingkhat

@sugarcoated-lame

@callsign-jupiter

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

@katiebby04

@marantha

@averyhotchner

@abaker74

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@heli991113

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@tallyovie

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@o-the-o-grim-o-reaper-o

@hecate-steps-on-me

@xoxabs88xox

[joy-of-life88]

Damian Priest x Reader ONE SHOT

First published May 17, 2024 on Wattpad

I was just about to go into the pool when I heard my phone ring. So much for a relaxing evening. Annoyed, I grunted and went back into the house to see who was calling me. I could almost have guessed it. It was Rhea.

"Hey nightmare... What's going on?" I asked.

"Hi, sorry to interrupt, but have you heard from Y/N? We were supposed to meet for a workout this afternoon. But she canceled at the last minute and won't answer her phone now," she replied.

I could clearly hear how worried she was. And that was understandable, because Y/N wasn't like that at all. She was the most reliable, disciplined person I knew.

"No, not since I drove her home from the airport yesterday. Who knows... Maybe she's just having a bad day. Even she can have one," I said.

"Yeah, maybe you're right... But... well couldn't you stop by her place to see if everything is really okay? After all, you only live 4 blocks away." Rhea then replied.

"Let me guess. You won't stop bugging me until I do, right?" I asked as I went into the bedroom to change.

"How long have you known me, Damian? You knew the answer before you asked." she said with a laugh.

"All right, all right. I'll head there in a minute. But I'm pretty sure Mitch won't be happy." I replied.

"Oh fuck him. You're one of her best friends and if he hasn't accepted that by now, then he's dumber than he looks." Rhea grumbled.

"Yeah and I'm sure Y/N would love the way you talk about her boyfriend." I laughed.

"I just don't know what she sees in him. He's so different than her. But maybe it's the old 'opposites attract' thing. And as long as he makes her happy, I'll keep my opinion to myself." she said.

*****

The sun was already setting when I parked my car in front of Y/N's house. Luckily Mitch's car was nowhere to be seen. That probably meant he wasn't there. Part of me was relieved. Because to be honest, I wasn't his biggest fan either.

I got out and walked the few steps towards the door. There was no sound from inside. Not even music. That alone was very unusual for her. I rang the bell and waited with my hands in my pockets for the door to open. It took quite a while, but eventually she stuck her head out.

"Hi Feliz! What's going on? Have you been crying?" I asked when I noticed her puffy, red eyes.

"Go away, D. I'm not in the mood for company." she replied in a raspy voice and tried to close the door in my face.

But there was no way I could leave her alone like that. So I prevented her from shutting the door by pushing my foot in between.

"I'm not leaving until you talk to me. You know I'm stubborn, Feliz," I said.

"Stop with the stupid nickname. And if you don't have a bottle of whiskey with you, I don't want to talk." she growled and walked away.

She just left me standing there. Another thing she didn't usually do. If I annoyed her, it was more likely that she would have punched or kicked me.

"Oh hi Pom-Pom! How's my girl? What's wrong with Mommy, huh?" I asked as Y/N's little bundle of fur came running up to me.

She barked excitedly and spun around in circles jumping until I picked her up. The little Shih Tzu licked my nose as I started to go after Y/N.

I followed her onto the patio where I was amazed to see her tearing up photos of herself and Mitch. Then she put everything in a fire pit and lit it. I slowly realized what was going on with her.

"Okay... spit it out. You should get it over with, because I'm not leaving until you did," I said and put the dog back on the ground.

"We broke up. Or I should say he broke up with me. And I didn't see it coming. He didn't even give me a real reason. Just that it wasn't the life he wanted. Before I could ask him any questions, he had already left," she explained quietly, but didn't look at me once.

"Oh Feliz, I'm so sorry. Come here." I replied before pulling her into my arms without hesitation.

Y/N cried on my chest for endless minutes. It was hard to bear to see her like this. She was usually such a happy person. Nothing could spoil her good mood. That's why I had given her the nickname Feliz years ago. Even though she still couldn't really stand it.

Finally, we went back into the house together. Pom-Pom immediately jumped onto the couch and snuggled up between us. Y/N absent-mindedly petted her.

"Three years wasted. Just like that. Poof! Out of the window. That's what you get for falling in love." she grumbled to herself.

"Hey, you shouldn't think like that. Now... Get changed, we're going out! I won't let you wallow in here and mourn after that loser. We'll do something fun. Come on!" I replied.

"No, I don't want to. I'm not in the mood." she whined as I tried to pull her off the couch by her arm.

"All right... I'll let you be for today. But! I won't let you mourn him forever. I'll even get you a new date. Because as luck would have it, I know someone who will be thrilled to hear that you're back on the market," I said as I finally gave up.

"Oh yeah? And who would that be?" she wanted to know.

It looked like I had managed to steer her thoughts in a different direction, at least for a little while.

"Oh, you'll see. But for now, what do you say I get us a bottle of booze after all?" I replied.

[copperbadge]

Some shots from my trip to Cambridge today! They are definitely not in the order I took them, but they're scenic and/or quaint as fuck. We wandered all over the grounds, looking at some epic trees and some beautiful gardens. (There's at least one college that grows its own edible flowers!) We toured some of the shops, which was especially good because I had forgotten to pack a few things, or rather thought I packed them and then discovered I had not. Also, as a companion to yesterday's book bought from Atlantis Books on Neil Gaiman's suggestion, I found a copy of his Norse Mythology in a thrift shop and picked that up, so those are hanging out together in my backpack, and probably matter for tomorrow's study while I'm en route to Amsterdam.

Also mad at myself I did not take a picture of the Very Tiny Gate we went through to get out to the shops, but it was pretty magical. And that fountain photo with the path leading up to it is in the Botanical Garden, where we ended the day. All round a great time.

Two more posts from the trip coming up -- one about how I almost died and also saw some cool art of the Virgin Mary (I did not take a picture but I'm sure it's online so I'll find a link) and the other about how I almost died on a cool bridge. Both deaths were incited by tripping over bumps in the ground and I recovered handily but I definitely need to keep an eye out for Renaissance architecture as it clearly wants me dead. Look, if JK Rowling's curse couldn't keep me from the bus, King's College Chapel, you aren't going to cause my death in front of the Adoration of the Magi.

[ID: Five images; top image is a long walk facing one of Cambridge's academic buildings, lined with tall, bare trees that form a sort of cathedral arch over the walk. The next two are both images of streets in Cambridge full of shops, which look very period but also house like, underwear boutiques and cool bookstores and restaurants. Last row, a photo of apple blossoms in a courtyard, looking gorgeous against the lush green of the grass, paired with an image of a long gravel walkway leading up to a fountain with multiple spouts shooting water into the air.]

[atinyjules]

Eyes Off You Ft. Park Jisung {ch-5}

A/n: Hii, I was gonna post this yesterday, but I went shopping with my mum to get supplies for college-🥹. I start class next week and I am sooo nervous! But excited too! I ordered NCT DREAM ISTJ photocards, and it's coming today! I'm so excited (just as I was writing this, I got a call from the delivery boy 🫢🤣). It's sooo pretty.

Enough yapping, let's get straight to the point.

So here it iss

The mini masterlist for this series can be found here

Tw: Dreamies still being jerks, bullying, misunderstanding

It has been a whole week since that night, and the Dream Squad, specifically Jeno and Jaemin, have been making Lianna's life hell. They picked on all of Riize as well, but they usually focused on bullying Lianna. What made it worse is that, despite those two bullied them every day, the rest of the members did nothing to stop them. Not even Mark or Haechan.

They would just watch or walk past the scene without any worry or care. It made Lianna feel hatred that she never felt, especially towards Haechan and Mark, but mostly towards Mark. Should she tell Johnny? But if she did, her college life would become more worse. The involvement of parents and guardians always made the situation worse than it was.

As morning struck, Lianna was slumped on her study table in her bedroom. She couldn't get a wink of sleep because of everything that happened yesterday. Should she go to school? Or should she not? Yesterday was the last straw for her. Jeno had shoved her to the ground every time she tried to get up. And when her phone fell on the ground, he had stepped on it and made sure to destroy her phone.

What was she gonna tell her brother if he found out?

She sighed and remained glued to her study table until she heard her brother's voice from downstairs.

Lianna's

"Lia! Your friends are here!" I quickly stumbled and got up from my chair the moment Johnny said those words. But before I could even get out of the room, the guys had already entered.

"What are you guys doing here?" I mumbled before Wonbin pulled me into an embrace. Hugging me tightly without saying a word.

"What's wrong?" I asked as Wonbin hugged me tighter.

"We heard what happened... Sohee and Anton told us. We came because we wanted to go to uni with you and if you don't wanna go today... we'll stay with you." He said, making my eyes gloss before chuckling.

"You guys always act so tough, but you're all just a bunch of softies. I really appreciate your worry and care." I say with a smile before breaking the hug.

"You're our best friend. Of course, we're worried." Seunghan said before coming and giving me a hug as well.

"Seunghan is right. If our friend isn't attending uni, so are we!" Sohee said making me chuckle.

"So... what's it gonna be?" Sungchan asked as Eunseok nodded.

"You wanna go, or you wanna stay home?" Eunseok asked as the others looked at me.

"If you wanna stay, we can go to an amusement park and hang out the whole day, and if you wanna go, we can hang out after school and go to the amusement park." Anton said making me chuckle.

"Don't even think about the attendance and stuff." Shotaro said as I thought for a while.

"Let's go to uni. If we don't attend, it'll add to their ego." I said, making them nod in agreement.

"This is why you're my favorite. You're a woman of strength and intelligence." Anton said, making me laugh before he opened his bag to take out a box wrapped with a glittery pink wrapper.

"Here. It's not much, but... you did save me again like always yesterday. We all chipped in." He said, making me widen my eyes.

"It's fine, guys... I don't need anything." I said as Wonbin lightly shoved the gift in my hands with a smile.

"We already bought it. You have to accept it because all of us used money from our part-time jobs and monthly pocket money." Wonbin said, making me gasp.

"Yah... you guys..." I trailed before opening the gift after they insisted I open it. The moment I opened a little, I widened my eyes and shrieked.

"Yah! Yahhh! Yahhhhh! Why'd you get me this?!" I exclaimed, making them laugh as I stared at the blue Apple iPhone 15 box on my lap.

"Shh... they broke your phone so we got you a new one. No biggie. Plus, Anton told us that you had gotten your previous phone with your own money, so we felt bad that those stuck-ups broke it." Shotaro said, making me feel emotional as I pulled them for a hug.

"You guyyysss!!" I exclaimed making them laugh.

"Get ready for class, or else we'll get late." Sungchan said making me nod as they left my bedroom.

×××

Luckily, the morning classes went smoothly without any problems. After lunch me, Anton and Sohee were walking towards our next class when I caught sight of Jisung, who was speaking happily with the bitch from our past, Kang Chaeyeon.

Me, Jisung, Haechan, and Hayeon were all friends, and we used to be known as the most tight-knit friend group in the whole school... that was until high school started. Hayeon and my friendship is still as strong as ever, but Chaeyeon? She stuck with the boys and their joint plan of abandoning me.

After our friendship fell out, I went back to Chicago, and Hayeon went back to her hometown. And those three? They remained back in Seoul, swimming in their popularity. I hadn't seen Chaeyeon on campus until the fourth day of uni when I bumped into her and her minions.

One thing I know is that Chaeyeon always had a thing for Jisung. That's probably why she supported Jisung's decision of abandoning me. As they keep talking in front of me, I try to avoid their eyes, but sadly... nothing ever goes my way, so of course, Chaeyeon saw me. She smirked before whispering something in Jisung's ear.

"Lianna!" I cringed at her high pitched tone, so did Anton and Sohee.

"What do you want?" I said in a cold tone, making her pout. It's wasn't a normal pout but an exaggerated one.

"Just because you and Jisung's friendship didn't work out, it doesn't mean ours should as well." She said making me scoff.

"Ours fell the moment I started high school. Move." I said and shoved her aside with my shoulder before heading to class.

"Can't we all just move to America and attend uni there or something?" Anton complained as we sat in our seats.

"Will you sponsor me?" Sohee said, making Anton groan.

"I'm tired of studying here. It's like we're part of some cliché young adult web series." Anton said making me nod.

"Exactly. Why did I come here?" I whined as I began regretting my decisions.

"How about we tell our parents and guardians? I mean... we are the victims, so I'm sure we can get rid of them." Sohee said, making us think when I noticed Anton and Sohee freeze while looking behind me.

I sighed as I felt two familiar figures on either side of me. I looked up to see Jaemin and Jeno with dark glares as they dragged me out.

"Let go of me!" I struggled to get out of their grasp when Anton amd Sohee followed us.

"Let her go!" Sohee exclaimed, making them throw me to the ground before walking towards Sohee.

"Lia!" Anton helped me up before we looked at each other and at the two men walking towards Sohee.

"Yah!" We exclaimed before attacking them. I got on Jeno's back and wrapped my arms around his neck while Anton punched Jaemin to the ground.

"Sohee, go get the teachers!" I exclaimed as I struggled to stay on Jeno, and as expected, he pulled me down, making me hit the cold cement ground.

"You think we'll let you do that?" Jeno snarled as he caught Sohee.

I let out a wail as Jeno kicked my stomach.

"You can be arrested for physical abuse on a female!" I exclaimed in a pained voice as I tried to get up.

"You're nothing but a worthless, American nerd." Jeno spat as I turned to see Anton being beaten up by Jaemin. And suddenly my eyes landed on Jisung and Chaeyeon and his Dream Squad... just watching us.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I felt helpless at that moment. Catching sight of my tears Jeno chuckled before lifting me up with the collars of my shirt.

"Aigoo, the hero is crying." Jeno said in a sarcastic tone before looking behind me. I turned to see the rest of the guys, beaten up and dragged towards us by Jeno's minions.

Looking at the sight of my dear friends beaten up, I could only sob as I tried to get out of Jeno's grasp.

"You're all monsters!" I cried out as I struggled.

"Park Jisung, you and your friends! All of you! Go to hell!" I cried out which made Jeno laugh more.

Jisung's

She brought it upon herself. But... why was I feeling guilty? She spread rumors about me and badmouthed me... why am I not feeling happy at the sight in front of me? Why do I regret telling the guys about our history?

I watched as Jeno and Jaemin's minions beat up everyone, including Lianna. Lianna crying out slurs and curses at me and my friends as Jeno threw her around the ground.

Why... at this moment... why was I hating Jeno's behavior towards a girl? Why did he look so... merciless?

"You're all crazy." I heard Chenle mumble before getting up from his seat under the bleachers and walking away.

"Where are you going?" I asked as Chenle looked at me with a disgusted expression.

"Away. I told you not to go so far. I told all of you. So I'm going away from this." He motioned towards where Jeno and Jaemin were beating up everyone.

"Chenle..." I trailed as Renjun got up.

"Don't stop him... I'm leaving too. I warned you guys about messing with innocent students... but obviously... no one listened. Mark, Jisung and the new bitch... drown in shame." Renjun said standing up and gathering his things.

"She's not innocent. None of them are." I mumbled making Renjun chuckle.

"How do you know that? All I know is you listened to the bitch and accepted her words about Lianna without any proof, coming to the conclusion that Lianna was the problem when it was you four this whole time." Renjun said in a serious tone while referring to me, Mark, Haechan and Chaeyeon.

"Those two... are idiots. They picked on Anton and made him uncomfortable. That's why Lianna attacked those two, but they just love stirring up problems. Jeno and Jaemin just like beating everyone up by using the excuse of 'they started it first', you're all idiots if you never noticed that." Renjun spat loudly, catching Jeno and Jaemin's attention, making them stop.

"If you wanna be such a hero, why didn't you save them before then?" Jeno snarled at Renjun who chuckled.

"I admit, I admit that it was stupid of me to just stand by and watch all of you attack them. I hate myself for not doing anything beforehand! But just because I didn't do anything doesn't give any of you to keep doing what you were doing. Are you babies?! Are you all babies who need to be stopped in order to stop causing trouble?!" Renjun exclaimed, making me look down.

"Lianna has always been a jealous girl!" Chaeyeon exclaimed at Renjun, who slapped her.

"Just because we let you join the squad doesn't give you authority to speak like that with me. Was she the jealous girl... or you? Cause right now, it seems like you're the one who's jealous. Do me a favor and just suck it up. You're all jerks!" He exclaimed and left, making Jeno throw Lianna down to the ground aggressively in anger.

×××

"Tell me the truth... did she say those things about me in high school?" I asked Chaeyeon, who was seated next to me, applying her lip gloss.

"What?" She asked, making me feel irritated.

"Do I need to repeat myself? Tell me now. If I find out the truth myself... no one will be worse than me." I warned Chayeon, making her gulp.

"Of course it was Lianna!" She exclaimed, making me narrow my eyes, dissatisfied by her answer.

"If you think your answer was convincing... you're wrong. Tell me now." I say, my voice going an octave deeper.

"I-I..." I stood up and walked out of the class. Her hesitancy was all I needed to know what her answer was.

I fucked up.

Took him long enough 🙃

Well, that's it for this chapter 💖 ✨️

I hope you guys liked it, I know it's looking a little angsty so far, but I promise, better days are coming for out Jisung and Lianna 💖✨️

Chapter 6 can be found here

Likes and rebloggs are appreciated 💖 ✨️

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron Ch 7

Chapter seven is here! It's getting a little angsty, buckle in. Full fic on AO3.

Words: 1.8k

TW: kidnapping, in a way

December 8th

I've been working for Rhys for two weeks now and I thought I was lucky to not cross ways with him at all during that time but yesterday he went home just as my shift ended, so we both went out at the same time. Yesterday of all days it was raining cats and dogs and because it is Rhys, ever the gentleman, he insisted he'd drive me home. I must admit that I haven't declined as much as I should have, I agreed pretty easily but you try walking home, or even to the next bus stop, in Velaris rain. It doesn't rain often but when it does, it's chaos. 

The drive was pretty quiet for the first half, and tense. At least from my side. I can't decline that Rhys is even more attractive now than he was when we were fifteen. I was a girl and I had a crush on a boy. Now I am a woman and he, well, he is a man. A really big, muscular, manly man. The most beautiful man I have ever seen if I'm being honest but all of this doesn't excuse that he lied to me back then. That I have to live this life because of him. He saved us with this, yes, but I'm sure somehow this all could have been avoided if he told me. We could have found a way, together, but he tried to do it all on his own. 

Well, when we stopped at a red light he broke the silence to ask me how I was doing. It didn't take a genius to know he was genuinely interested but I couldn't really tell him that I am still hurt about something that happened eight years ago because if I would there is a possibility he would ask why and I had to tell him it's not what he did (I mean, yes, that too but it's not the reason why I was that hurt) but that the real reason is that I am was in love with him and my heart broke at the possibility he would ever lie to me that way about something that would ruin my whole family. I trusted him. 

Shit, I'm babbling. I probably don't even make sense? Do I make sense? Probably not.

Anyways, Tamlin picked me up later that day and I spent the night with him. He was in a weird mood again and asked me tons of questions about my sisters for some reason. I don't like answering questions about them, not because we don't have a story we tell people but because I could slip up. Sometimes I still call them by their real names in the comfort of our own four walls, it's a dangerous game, I had to shut him up by distracting him. 

This morning we ate brunch with Lucien, the mood lighter again, which was mostly thanks to Lucien and his questionable jokes. It was funny. I didn't laugh, Tamlin doesn't want me to laugh at other people's jokes. 

After brunch we all went our own ways, Tamlin went home, Lucien went to visit his mom and I walked downtown to work. 

Rhys was in again today, I don't know why but I also don't care, he probably just had to deal with some things because the Lounge just opened. 

December 12th

Today has been stressful. It's christmas season and Mara, Daisy and I tried shopping for a new couch. It was hell. After a guy poured coffee all over Mara’s shirt and a fight almost broke out between them, we gave up and went home. It started snowing like crazy about half way home and Daisy almost walked into a door because we could barely see between the flocks of snow. It was cold and by the minute we got more and more miserable. We decided to wait for the weather to clear up in a Café where we sipped hot chocolate when suddenly Rhys turned up and I tried to hide behind a menu because I didn't want him to see me all disheveled from the day. I think I succeeded because when I looked up he was gone. Mara looked at me weirdly. No, I wouldn't say weird. Knowingly, she knew what's up and I hate that she knows, but luckily, she didn't say anything. But at home she accused me of wearing her shirt, which wasn't even true, we just have similar shirts. We fought but that's okay, when dinner time rolled around we shared the last pizza roll. 

Right after dinner Tamlin called and insisted on coming over to our apartment to spend time there, Mara looked at me like she'd kill him with her bare hands if he came over and even Elain shook her hand. Truth be told, I don't feel comfortable with him coming over. Not because I am ashamed of our apartment, we really tried to make it homely. I like it. But, I don't know, it's just a feeling I can't shake. I don't really want anyone here but us, it's our sanctuary, in a way. I never took anyone to our apartment. Never. 

I had to make up some excuse about having explosive diarrhea and that was enough for Tamlin to leave it. Maybe I should tell him the truth but, honestly, I am scared of his reaction. 

Am I the problem?? 

December 14th

Tamlin and I agreed that i spent my birthday with him. As much as I would like to be with my sisters, I had to agree because he's getting antsy about me not inviting him to my apartment. At least we found a solution for now. 

Also, Rhys saw me in the Café two days ago. I was kind of embarrassed when he told me but, as surprising as it was, we slipped into banter pretty easily, just like 8 years ago. I've missed it so much. Just the banter today felt like a step forward between us. The more we talk, the more I realize I want to forgive him, SO badly. Maybe we should talk it out, maybe I should listen to his side of the story. I never bothered, have I? Maybe I should have listened before blowing up on him. And I did, I really blew up on him and he just let me. I really want to hear his story. 

Am I crazy? 

I don't know. 

I just miss my best friend, a lot. He's here now, against all odds. We find each other in a city thousands of miles away from home, isn't that a sign? 

Letter from Feyre Archeron to Rhysand

December 15th

Dear Rhys, 

I really don't know how to start this letter, I feel like no words in the world could express how I feel, but I'm going to try. 

My plan was to talk to you today but I saw you standing at the bar, talking to Rita, and all the words left my mind. I need to write this down or I'm going to forget half of this, you still have that effect on me. 

I want a new start for us, if you are willing to. 

I've talked to you really harshly years ago, I never gave you a chance to explain yourself. More importantly, I know you wanted to protect me, you always want to protect the people close to you. I should have looked past my fury, I should have given you a chance, and after my mistreatment of you, you still helped my sisters and I, which I will be forever grateful for. If you can't forgive me, I understand but if you are willing to try, you'd make me the happiest woman in the world. 

Since you came back into my life, I realized how much I missed you. There has always been a shadow where you should have been. You were my friend, my best friend, and I was yours. I really wish to become your friend again, to be a person you can trust, a person you feel comfortable around. I can't describe how sorry I am, but I'd like to show you. If you let me. 

We can start new, we can leave the past behind us. You and me. 

Please text me or talk to me or write a letter back or whatever you want to do, if you want this, too. 

Sincerely, 

Yours

Unsent Letter from Rhysand to Feyre Archeron

Dear Feyre

Dear Clare

I miss you

I missed you

There is nothing to forgive

There is no need to apologize

Come home

I would die for you

I'm yours

I love you, 

December 20th

I promised Mara and Daisy we would celebrate my birthday when I'm back from Tamlin’s. With our combined income we can afford a little night out, I'm pretty excited. Especially for Daisy's cake. I'm always open to new flavors so Daisy is trying something different every year for me. Mara is more of a chocolate cake girl, so that's her birthday cake flavor almost every year. For my birthday two years okay Daisy made me a lemon raspberry cake and it was so good, I'm still dreaming about it. 

But I'll only get my birthday cake in a few days. At Tamlin’s it is probably going to be his favorite flavor. I don't mind, I don't want him to go extra lengths for me, it's not important. 

I'm packing right now, because I'm going to spend the night with him. 

I'm excited to see Lucien again, I missed him. He had his own stuff going on with his family these days, hanging out will hopefully be a little reprieve for him. 

I should go to sleep now, it's pretty late. 

I shouldn't be this nervous about a stupid birthday, right? He's my boyfriend. 

Note from Feyre Archerin, slipped to Alis for Rhysand on December 22nd

Hlp

Tamlin 

Neva

Warehuse red

Chat between Rhysand and Azriel on December 22nd

Rhysand: You need to look for Feyre's whereabouts ASAP

Rhysand: Her sister just crashed into my office saying Feyre is missing since her birthday

Rhysand: She thinks something happened to Feyre

Azriel: Elain?

Rhysand: Nesta, but she has Elain in tow

Azriel: On it, I'll call when I find something

Chat between Rhysand and Morrigan on December 22nd 

Morrigan: There is a woman who wants to talk to you about Clare

Morrigan: she says it's important

Morrigan: her name is Alis

Rhysand: coming

Chat between Rhysand, Cassian, Azriel and Morrigan on December 22nd

Rhysand: Tamlin has Feyre. She left a note with a maid of his for me, they are on their way to Neva

Cassian: that can't be, Hybern still has all his men in Dunmere. They think the sister's are dead

Morrigan: not anymore

Morrigan: wait, NEVA? 

Rhysand: Neva. He brings her to Amarantha

Rhysand: Cassian, Azriel and I will drive to Neva. Mor you stay here with Nesta and Elain

Chat between Rhysand and Amren

Rhysand: I need to call in my favor 

Amren: I've been waiting for you to reach out, boy. What do you need? 

Feysand Taglist:

@captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[astranite]

Edges of the Universe: Part 2

Scott and John :)

Part 1 // Ao3

The tags in summary: Hurt/Comfort, this is what it is fundamentally but we do dive into the angst and the fluff, Autistic John Tracy, Scott Tracy has ADHD, Scott Tracy Has PTSD, Autistic meltdowns, References to Depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Chronic Illness, that's how i'm treating John's space issues, this is all written from a disability and neurodiversity lens and lot of my own experience, there's alot going on but there's also alot of love here, and acceptance, its about hope its always about hope ultimately, things are hard and they wont just fix themselves but it does get better, we just have to keep hanging on. all of us you and me together, its not a straight line there are alot of up and downs and emotions in this fic, as in life and everything because thats whats its like but its not impossible

@idontknowreallywhy thank you for all.

---

“You alright?” Scott asked, “And I’ve brought takeaway if you’re feeling up to it.” 

“‘S only a headache,” John mumbled.

Scott’s hand gripped his shoulder more firmly. “Seems like some headache, Johnny.”

“Don’t.” 

John couldn't handle even the gentle ribbing right now. Or Scott needling him about what the hell was wrong with him to make him admit to it, which was pretty hypocritical coming from Commander ‘I’m actively bleeding out but I’m Fine.’

John sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. That wasn't fair on Scott. He was getting better at letting them in when it was needed. All the smothering came from a good place of looking out for little brothers prone to getting themselves into trouble, and John also had a history of being less than honest about exactly how ‘Fine’ he was.

He pushed himself into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard of the bed as the blurry dark crowded in at the corners of his vision at the rush of his blood pressure dropping. Because he, Thunderbird Five, head of communications for IR and an astronaut breaking records for space hours and expertise, had really pushed himself today. Went totally wild with it. He had, he checked his mental notes, landed on Tracy Island yesterday evening, sat in the passenger seat of Tracy One as Scott did all the flying to get here and immediately clocked out as soon as they got to the hotel. Then attempted to attend a meeting today. Wild, he bit out in sharp, sarcastic thoughts. Maybe that ignored the busy week he’d already pushed through. Even if he usually had to rest the day after the rough descent down from orbit because that was what his body needed and that was meant to be okay.

John reached over to flick on one of the bedside lamps to make it easier on Scott. He squinted in the brightness but it was better than the main light. In the background was the rustle of biodegradable bags and the distinctive snap of takeaway containers being opened: Chinese, from the place he and Scott had really liked the last time they were here, predictable so he wouldn't have to deal with trying something new.

Objectively, the food smelled good but John’s stomach turned. He spent several amusing minutes poking at his noodles, trying to figure out whether it was merely his usual space issues or he was coming down with something.

Scott bumped his shoulder ever so gently. “I got the not too spicy ones for you in case you weren’t feeling so good.”

“Thanks, Scott.” John’s voice came tiny and squeezed out. 

He picked up a mouthful and they were okay, it was him that was at the point of so hungry he was nauseous, and Scott had realised that he hadn't had lunch or dinner and made sure to bring back food John would like. Because he was thoughtful and he cared, and John had the best big brother so why did that make him want to cry?

They ate in silence. Companionable silence. It was kinda nice actually, just sharing space with Scott.

John did not cry all over his brother and his noodles. He would’ve gotten his tablet to read on and distract himself except he’d need his glasses which were in his bag, though he could turn up the font size, except the headache made staring into a bright screen currently unpalatable, so the entire point was moot.

He tipped his head back, resting it on the wall, then turned to Scott.

Scott had scoffed his entire meal far too quickly, shovelling noodles into his mouth with his set of chopsticks, whilst scrolling on his phone. Hair falling out of its careful gelling, top buttons of his blue business shirt undone, meeting out of the way and laughing at something inane, he seemed far more relaxed than this morning. Share space with Scott was nice because he too rarely got to.

John looked away. He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping an arm around them, rocking slightly before it made him too dizzy. He stared off around the room, mostly to keep himself from giving in to the urge to worry at the numb, hollow wound in his thoughts. To map out its shape and form, going over it like the hole left by a pulled tooth. To not drag himself into a John classic overthinking spiral, and attempt to ground himself or whatever. 

The room. Too much beige. Carpet, curtains, walls, really what were they thinking? 

John liked colour. He’d chosen the stripes running throughout Thunderbirds Five and his bright orange baldric with the matching narrower lines through his uniform on purpose. They broke up the monotony of whites and greys space stations were far too prone to and he soaked it up, everything from the stickers and few books in his little room to the colour coded holotabs that displayed each of his siblings’ vitals. Bright and vivid, they reminded him of alive, alive, alive. 

Here, even the abstract painting was nearly monochrome. Virgil would have a lot to say but John could only muster a vague disgust towards it. Or maybe it was mostly his mood turning to harshly critical.The place was nice enough, clean and neat, nearest to TI. They didn't need fancy. 

Hints of the darkened evening view shone through the gaps between the curtains in the form of city lights. John had watched the sunset in hours previous briefly paint the dimness of the room through slitted eyelids. 

There had been the colour he wanted, but he’d ignored it instead of opening the curtains up to the light like he usually would in lieu of visible stars. He had stared at the wall, drifting in his thoughts amongst the achy pain and exhaustion instead of choosing to do literally anything else.

And here he was overthinking, doing exactly what he wasn't supposed to be doing. Fantastic job, John.

Doors to the hallway and bathroom, both shut, John listed. Lamp on Scott’s bedside table, dark grey, not black, switched off.

The blue blanket Scott brought everywhere lay as a bright splash on top of the covers of Scott’s bed, a familiar sight no matter where they were.

They didn't have to share a room, with the large beds on each side where John took the one nearest the window under claim it would be better for the stargazing he wouldn't do because of the light pollution but would make Scott edgy from feeling too exposed and too far from the exits. His brother’s face had crumpled in relief before he’d gleefully bounced on his bed like he was totally still five, as John laughed with him. 

With their money they could easily afford two, could get the frankly a waste of money whole penthouse suite of rooms, but they didn't need to. And it was nice to be close.

He and Scott hadn't regularly shared a room since before Alan had been born, and John was fully aware that as adults it would drive them both mad within a week, but on the occasional business trip or even rarer holiday, it was nice. Waking up disorientated and jet lagged in the middle of last night, he’d fallen back to sleep to big brother’s calm, even breathing. Plus Scott could look over and reassure himself at least John was here and okay, as substitute for checking in on all his little brothers before he turned in.

…it had actually been a bit after Alan had been born that the rooms had been shuffled. When it had been Mum and Dad and baby Allie he had to sneak past to go stargaze outside for a few months until Alan was big enough and got the cot, sharing a room with Gordon. Then it was him and Virgil so Scott as the eldest, encouraged by Dad, could have his own room. 

Virgil was a lot quieter and less prone to dragging him into crazy schemes, and John had loved sharing a room with him, of course he did, but something had still ached as he helped take Scott’s aeroplane posters down from between his glow in the dark stars to put them up on bare blue walls that smelt of new paint. Virgil had never woken up when John went to stargaze, no matter what he tripped over or how much he swore, so he never came with him on those forbidden midnight trips either. Scott had. 

But after Mum, because John was evidently all for following miserable trains of thought tonight, Scott technically had still shared a room with them. Just when no one, especially Dad, would notice. John had woken up to the door opening after everyone else was asleep each night to Scott tiptoeing in to curl up on the floor between his and Virgil’s beds, wrapped in the blue baby blanket that had been Allie’s until it was put away but had originally been knitted by Mum for Scott.

John had always shuffled over to make room for Scott beside him. Scott shouldn’t be alone, he wasn't meant to be alone but everyone had known that evidently except for Dad. He’d always woken up at dawn when Scott left too…

Scott’s hand back on his shoulder startled him, and between the flinch he barely processed the worried, “Earth to John?” 

A wave of dizziness hit and John buried his head in his knees. 

“Sorry,” John mumbled.

“No apologies needed.”

Scott gently took the container of noodles out of his hand which he was holding and had kinda forgotten about, even as the pointed edges dug into his palm. John’d only managed half of his before he had to put it aside. Maybe later, if he got over the nausea. 

Scott held out an arm, giving John the option of being pulled into a hug. He swallowed and shuffled closer, then leant against Scott. 

[lovejosephquinn]

Pls we need a happy ending to the Joe angst, we NEEEEEEEEED it😭😭😭😭 It was so good but I can't deal with it ending like that!

Relax angel, I got you 👀

Okay, who's ready for a happy ending? Here's part 2 of Joe Begs You To Stay.

Read Part 1 Here. ◀◀◀

Joe had blown up your phone all night, pretty much from the moment you'd left his flat actually. It's safe to say neither of you got a wink of sleep. You tossed and turned in bed, feeling quite sick to your stomach, your mind wandering on what tomorrow would bring and if he'd actually give up or do something about or just whether he actually didn't feel the same as he used too in general. You had ignored his messages and his calls, every single one of them, he needed to realise just what he'd done, giving him a taste of his own medicine and if he wanted to fix it; he'd make sure he did.

You think you eventually fell to sleep, the morning light seeping through the crack of your curtain where it was left open slightly, the racing pace of your heart returning as you realised it was tomorrow all too soon. You checked your phone, no further contact from Joe so you gather he got the message, you decided to go and shower trying to delay the thoughts a little longer but keeping to yourself only seemed to make it worse.

Just as you got out and went into your bedroom to get dressed feeling at least a little cleaner from your shower, your phone began to buzz, as if by magic, Joe had read your thoughts and he was calling. You'd gave him a night to stew it over and decided to answer.

"Hello?" You muttered, the pissed off tone clearly making itself known in your voice as soon as you were to hear his.

"Hi, how are you?"

"That a trick question?" You sat on the edge of the bed, holding your towel up and taking a deep breath in to stop the tears that were fighting to fall.

"Me too, I've not slept. Can I please come over?" You shut your eyes, straight to the point, yet another sigh fell from your lips.

"Yes."

"An hour sound ok?" His voice was so monotone, so downbeat, it was like he was almost mourning the loss of someone.

"That's fine, see you soon." You hung up before he could say anything more, you needed to get yourself fighting fit within the next hour so you were ready for whatever was going to be the outcome.

When Joe arrived, knocking on the front door it was all too soon. Your confidence shattered as you took your time to answer it. When you did, a tired man stood before you, not the usual chirpy, happy soul you were used to seeing.

"Come in." You gestured for him to come through, the usual spark in his eyes had almost disappeared, that on it's own was depressing enough. Joe sat straight onto your sofa, perching himself up, his hands flat on his thighs like a told off child, his head hung low again just like a mirror of last night when he was on his knees, his eyes stared down to the ground not wanting to look at you just yet, clearly nervous from the events of yesterday. You moved around the coffee table to sit next to him, leaning against the arm of the sofa and crossing your legs, picking at the side of your thumbs to help ease your anxiety if even a little.

"So..." You decided to break the silence, if you didn't do it this second, not a word would of been spoken for goodness knows how long.

Joe swerved round quickly to meet your eyes burning into the side of his head. "I've thought about everything, I know I'm completely in the wrong in most respects. I know that in the 3 years we've been together that I've never ghosted you the way I have these last couple of weeks. I have my reasons, I told you half of them last night. It got a lot and I couldn't finish because I thought that was it, I thought you were leaving me. I'm so sorry that I worried you sick and made you feel like you had to push me away, I never intended on that Y/N, I just kept getting busy and then unfortunately my last thought was you but then that changed just before I came home and at the end of the day which to then I would panic and the time difference got in the way. I know that may hurt but-"

Your eyes shot wide at the last sentence, the only words you'd seem to catch in that whole breath was that his last thought was you.

"How charming of you to say that."

"Let me finish, please." You folded your arms, huffing an irritated sigh, you weren't about to go in all guns blazing unless you oh so had too, giving him a slow nod to continue.

"I didn't mean for it to go that way, that's the longest we've ever been away from each other since I managed to get you out whilst I was filming in America last time. But it didn't mean my feelings had changed for you, they never will. I still love you more than anything in the entire world, you're my girl, my fucking world and the distance and not being able to speak sometimes won't make my feelings for you any less, you have to know that."

"So what about getting back, the girl I saw you with?"

"That part was true, she was an old friend from college, we caught up. I'd done something for you that day I'd gotten home and I figured with her being a girl and all, she helped me to figure out how I should do it."

"Do what?" You scrunched your face up in confusion, your features ran softer than before and the spark regained in his iris'.

"Can I give you this back?" He pulled your promise ring out of his jacket pocket.

"Doesn't mean I totally forgive you."

"But this isn't the end right?" You looked down, savouring your reply for a second; keeping him on his toes. He was desperate for confirmation and you had to give it to him.

"It couldn't ever be. But if you ever do anything like that again and I find out it's intentional, you can kiss my ass goodbye." You leaned over and took the ring from Joe, placing it back on your finger.

"I understand. I couldn't ever stand the risk of losing you again, we've been through too much, we know too much and above all our love's too strong. But I'll take that ass kissing any day." You both managed a smirk, it was far from over, but the hurt was far from gone. You were right, he had a lot of work to do to resolve his mistakes, but they were just a big clump of mistakes and he'd never done anything to make you question it before, and you loved him so much, you couldn't bare life without your Joseph.

"So what was she helping you to do so bad that was keeping you from letting me know you were home." The smirk disappeared and Joe's lips fell into a thick line, you noticed the strong gulp.

"I was going to wait until we could go out, something I'd arranged for tonight. I'd called your parents to get their permission and they were ecstatic. I think now's a better time than any."

"What are you talking--" Your eyelids rose 3 times the size that they normally could, your mouth shot open and the anxiety that once made you feel glum, shot straight to excitement. Joe took your hand and stood you up before him, getting down onto one knee, taking a box out of his trouser pocket and opening it up to see the most beautiful and quite clearly expensive diamond ring you'd ever seen.

"My baby, my beautiful Y/N, my fucking rock. You are the one I want to spend my life with and nearly losing you would've been the death of me. This is what I needed help with, this isn't what I was going to say or how I planned it go but now it's here I don't actually think I needed any help at all. You're so perfect to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no more mistakes ok?"

Tears streamed down your face, Joe's breathing hitched with every word he spoke, his eyes wet through just as much as yours.

"Will you do me the honour of becoming Mrs Quinn, will you marry me my love?"

You didn't need a second thought, you knew he'd been honest and he was facing up to the faults in miscommunicating regularly with you. Deep down you knew he wasn't a bad person and that he didn't get a word in edge ways with you last night because you were so clearly pissed off, your dramatics clearly shone through.

You wiped your eyes, a smile beaming so wide and nodded straight down at him. "Yes, oh my god, a thousand times yes!" Joe took your hand, putting the ring onto your left hand and shot straight up enveloping you into his arms, picking you up off your feet in a swift motion. "Thank fuck for that." He said as you both cried a giggle at one another. He squeezed you so hard, and you leant back to face him, crashing your lips onto his. The kiss was so long awaited and had this morning gone wrong you'd have never had the chance again, but at least it hadn't and now you had the best reason to desperately attack his mouth.

"I love you, Y/N. My future wife."

"I love you Joe, my future husband."

Joe put you down, his hand still round your waist as you both flopped onto the sofa, closer this time as you held onto one another.

"So, you wanted to go out?"

"That was where I was going to do it and it looks like we're going out to celebrate anyway, come on. I think you deserve to look fucking hot tonight, get ready, we're going shopping."

"Wait a second, I don't always look hot?" You furrowed your brows at your fiancé.

"You know what I mean, you beautifully stubborn woman."

You snuggled your face into his chest, the familiar warmth and scent that felt like home instantly gave you hope. Your hand laying on his stomach, you watched the ring glitter from the natural light.

"Doesn't mean you give up and forget what happened you know."

"I know, but this is a start." Joe pushed your head up, gripping his fingers to your chin and gave you a soft, slow, well needed extra long kiss. This was the man you knew.

[yankstrash]

september 10

gabe had told the girl twice now that he doesn't give up, and he is staying true to his word.

if she wanted to play hard to get, he would play her game, even harder than she was.

when he got dressed this morning, he made sure not to wear anything hockey related

distract her mind

make her not think about the fact that you're an athlete who's apparently going to screw her over

although he wasn't. that wasn't his plan in the beginning, and that sure as hell wasn't his plan now.

why would he be trying so hard with her if he was only going to mess it up?

and that is why he kept on trying. he thought if he continued to prove to her he was serious, she would change her mind.

however, it might have to wait, because when he walked into the coffee shop he didn't see her.

he looked around for a moment, his eyes darting every which way, hoping to see her.

he was about to accept that she wasn't there today and leave, when she walked into his eyesight.

she had some sort of iced drink in her hand that she set down on the end of the counter before leaning on it and going on her phone

she seemed to be on break, perfect. no distractions.

taking a breath, he walked up to her.

she was sipping her drink, and her eyes looked up from her phone as she felt a presence approaching, keeping her lips around the straw

she raised her eyebrows, giving gabe a 'really?' look when she saw him

"good timing." she said, releasing the straw from her mouth. "my break ends in 5 minutes."

gabe grinned, "well that's 5 minutes to chat with no customers behind me in line."

"hmm" she hummed, squinting her eyes at him. "you know i'm glad you showed up actually."

gabes heart sped up when she said that

"you are?" he asked, smiling slightly.

"mmhmm," she smiled. "a couple of girls came in yesterday when some of your teammates were sitting at a table over there, and they were freaking out."

she stood up from her leaning position on the counter

"oh my gosh, look who's over there!" she began to mock the girls. "it's the hockey team!" she put her hands on her cheeks, acting shocked.

gabe laughed at her impression

"yeah, this went on for quite a bit. it was pretty entertaining to watch." she said

"but anyways, made me think of you."

gabe grinned

"so now you're thinking about me?" he asked

she nodded her head up and down

"yep, i was about to go over to the girls and let them know i have the PERFECT guy for them!"

gabes grin fell

"oh ha ha" gabe sarcastically said

"yeah, so, next time they come in i'll put a good word in for you, how's that sound?" she asked, smiling

gabe however, was not smiling.

he shakes his head as he says, "no thanks, i'll pass."

the girl quirked her eyebrows up, "wow, you sure? i'd be happy to set you up." she sarcastically says

"i'm sure, no interest in going out with any of them. if you however want to go out then i would be up for that!"

she hums in response, pretending to think for a moment

"nah, i'll let you take one of them out." she starts, grinning at gabe who is blankly staring back at her. "hey, they were pretty!"

"and you're very pretty."

the girl is a bit taken aback at his sudden compliment

she couldn't help but smile, yet she tried so hard to hide it.

"flattering will get you nowhere."

gabes lips tug up slightly

"that's fine, i have more tricks up my sleeve."

the girl rolls her eyes slightly at his response

"i've gotta get back to work.." she says as she slides her phone in her back pocket and picks her drink up

"you didn't say no.." gabe says before she can walk away.

the girl spins on her heel, fully facing gabe.

"okay, no!"

she says that with a huge grin on her face, humor laced in her voice

gabe couldn't help but laugh and shake his head at her response

"guess i'll be trying again."

[blowfly-girll]

Sunday was warm and sunny, just how I always fantasized it would be when I finally went through with it. I stared walking to the dumpster again, I think about 2pm, and I was really excited and nervous. I felt butterflies in my tummy, just anticipating what I was about to do.

The dumpster is in the alley behind a restaurant near my house. It gets emptied on Tuesdays, so by Sunday it's pretty stinky and there are flies buzzing around. Which means there are things rotting inside there and that's just perfect for me. A few times in the past I climbed into that dumpster and masturbated. Nothing too intense. Most I'd ever done was take off my pants and hump against the dirty garbage bags. And one time I laid there with my legs spread, watching the flies land on me.

So anyway, I walked down the alley to the dumpster, and as usual I made sure nobody was around, just to be extra careful. You have to go behind a tall wooden fence to even see the dumpster, and the restaurant is closed on Sunday anyway, so I knew I wouldn't be noticed. But this time there's no way I want to be disturbed. I climbed up and over the side and onto my hands and knees into the mass of plastic garbage bags and other miscellaneous rubbish. The bags felt warm from the sun. The smell in there was extremely foul, much worse than usual, and I knew it was because of my rotting meat. I sat and tried to get myself to relax for a few minutes. There was no reason to hurry. When I was ready, I calmly took off my sandals, my jeans, and my panties. Both pairs. I was wearing two pairs of tight panties with a bunch of my panty liners in the crotch, which keeps anything in my vagina from coming out when I move around. But I was going "all the way" this time, so I went ahead and got completely naked. That was a weird feeling, being totally nude inside the dumpster. It seemed very erotic to me. The sun felt warm on my skin, especially my boobs, which pretty much never see the sun.

I took a pair of rubber kitchen gloves out of my pants pocket and put them on. There was no way I could bring myself to actually touch a maggot with my bare hands. Lying with my back against the side of the dumpster, I fingered my pussy. I was really wet already. I knew I would be. The sensation of the rubber glove against my clit felt unusual, and I kind of liked it. I did that for a little while, just thinking about what I was about to do, while staring at the smaller garbage bag in the far corner of the dumpster where I'd left it yesterday. I still felt the butterflies in my tummy. I kept thinking to myself that I can't wimp out, that I had to go through with this. I wished for a moment that someone else was there to force me to do it, but decided that it was somehow much more sick and depraved to do it to myself willingly. And I thought, yeah, that's me. That's what I want. I deserve this. And so I knew it was time to do it

I got back on my hands and knees and crawled to the other side of the dumpster. I sat down next to my garbage bag, gently picked it up and placed it in front of me. The terrible smell was already stronger. Carefully, I tore the bag open. And there they were. There had to be thousands of maggots, kind of beige-yellow with little black spots on them, all writhing in a large mass. I couldn't even see the rotting meat underneath them. Dozens more maggots clung to the inside of the black plastic, which was coated with a thick light-brown slime. It was such a repulsive sight I thought I was going to throw up right there. But I didn't. I took a few minutes to get control of myself, fingering my clit while staring at the maggots, trying to work up the courage to continue.

I scooped up some of the slime on my gloved finger and brought it to my nose. I knew what it was from the reading I'd done before. It was digestive juices from the maggots, full of bacteria. And it smelled just horrible. I thought to myself, that's what I'm going to smell like. That's the stench that's going to come from my vagina. I want that, I thought, spreading my legs wide apart. I dragged my slimy finger between my pussy lips. My clit felt like a hard little pebble beneath the slime. I didn't want to cum right then, though, and I was still right on the edge of gagging, too. But I knew there was no turning back now, so I let my fingers lightly touch the top of the maggot mass. The maggots felt like nothing I'd experienced before. They seemed to have such energy, totally different from picking up an earthworm or something. And they felt so alive. I was fascinated and nauseated at the same time. Sinking my fingers into the mass, I felt the solid meat beneath. Gently breaking it apart, I could see that the meat had turned gray except for the very center which was still pink, and that the maggots had penetrated into it but not too deeply yet. There was still plenty of food for my filthy little babies. I broke off a small chunk of meat that was covered on one side with maggots and held it for a moment while I fought back another urge to vomit. It was finally time, I thought. I leaned forward, and holding my pussy lips apart with one hand, I gritted my teeth and pushed the maggot-covered chunk of meat into my vagina. And then, totally without expecting it, I had an orgasm. A quick, sharp one that only made me want more.

And more was coming. I broke off another small chunk of meat, along with another part of the maggot mass and pushed it inside me. This one had more maggots on it, and I stopped for a moment to see if I could feel them inside me. I wasn't sure I could, but it didn't matter. I wanted them all. I needed to take them all inside me. With that thought, I went sort of wild. I started pushing bigger chunks of meat and maggots, and even handfuls of just maggots into me, over and over. I was practically hyperventilating, too. I wasn't thinking at all about the noise I must have been making. But now I could definitely feel the maggots squirming inside my vagina. Just the idea of it made me cum again.

Finally, once I had crammed all of the rotten meat, and all of the maggots I could inside me, I felt so filthy, so disgusting, like I'd turned myself into some low, depraved sort of beast. And that made me so incredibly hot, together with the constant movement of the maggots inside me. But it was time to go. Holding my hand over my crotch, I slowly crawled back to my clothes and managed to get dressed again without anything coming out. I put the gloves back into my pocket and climbed out of the dumpster. And right then I could hold back the revulsion of what I'd just done no longer. Holding myself up against the side of the dumpster, I threw up. Ever vomited while you were horny? It's weird.

Walking home down the alley, I felt like I was in a daze. I kept asking myself how I could have done this to myself, but then asking why I'd waited so long. I had to walk slowly to make sure nothing got squeezed out of my vagina, but also to keep from cumming again. I found myself amazed at the whole thing, that I'd stuffed the most intimate part of myself with these things that were too disgusting to even touch without gloves. And that I was totally getting off on it.

Once I was home, I locked myself in my bedroom, took off my clothes, except for my double-panties, and got into bed. I closed my eyes and just let myself feel the maggots squirming inside me. For a while I tried to watch TV, but I could really pay attention to it. The maggots were too wonderfully distracting. I skipped dinner. Later on, when I really had to pee, I did it by taking down my panties and holding my hand over my crotch, wearing the rubber gloves, of course.

The next morning I called off of work after being awake most of the night. I mainly stayed naked in my bed all day masturbating, barely getting up for anything. I wanted to do nothing but let my nauseating little babies grow inside my pussy. Pretty early, though, I realized the smell was getting really horrible. I opened the window. I also wet a bath towel and stuffed it under my bedroom door. I didn't want my parents to get suspicious.

A little later on I realized that I didn't need the panties to hold the maggots and the meat inside me. The mass pretty much stayed in place as long as I laid kind of still. I thought hey, I guess that means I'm infested, which made me cum again. I was always right on the edge of orgasm, and it didn't take much to go over the edge. I also noticed that the maggots seemed to be more active if I kept my legs apart and realized that they probably needed to breathe. So that's how I stayed a lot of the time. I did get up and read my email and posted an update on my web page but I couldn't seem to think clearly enough to write much. Then I had to pee again, but I just didn't want to get up. So I just peed in the bed. It made me cum. I just wanted to keep feeling the maggots moving. And they were. They seemed even stronger, in anything. I was totally in heaven with it. I didn't eat at all, either.

I heard my parents come home from work. During the evening my mom said hello through the door and wondered why I was staying in my room like a hermit. I said I was reading a novel all the way through at once, which I actually do sometimes. She left me alone. I hoped she didn't smell anything. I surfed the Web for a while that night and looked at porn. I came a few more times. I decided to go ahead and take a shit in my bed, right where I was. That just made me more turned on and I ended up smearing some of my shit over my thighs and my pussy and cumming again. I noticed that the maggots started coming out a bit. Maybe they liked the shit. A couple tmes one would creep up on my belly. I'd just flick it back down between my legs.

I was getting tired at that point. It really was time to sleep and my vagina was throbbing and kind of sore from all of the attention. But I was most worried about making sure my maggots could breathe while I was sleeping. Somehow, I managed to find the energy to place a chair on either side of my bed and use sheets to tie my ankles to them. That would keep my legs apart during the night. I pulled the blankets over myself and dozed off lying in my piss and shit.

For the most part I slept through the night, but I kept waking up sweating, with my vagina throbbing worse. I knew I was getting a bad infection from this, but I didn't care. I was not thinking right. I could also feel maggots crawling all over me. I guess I decided I liked that and I'd play with my clit until I came again. I don't know if I realized at the time that I wasn't wearing the rubber gloves anymore. I'd fall back to sleep and wake up again later with little phrases running through my head. Other girls have babies but I give birth to decay and filth, I'd keep thinking to myself. Or I'd say I'm probably ruining my womb and I don't care, I want to be ruined. I know I must have been hallucinating from the infection. I was hoping the maggots had given up on the rotten meat and were eating my vagina instead. My fingers were buried inside my vagina, with my fingertips against part of the meat. Whenever I pressed on it, the maggots would squirm faster and I'd climax again. I could do it over and over and keep cumming.

Finally it was Tuesday morning and sunlight made me wake up. I knew I was really, really sick at that point. I felt weak and dizzy, I knew I had a fever, and now my whole lower belly was sore and throbbing. Despite all that I was still horny and I was still right on the edge of cumming. And then for some reason, all I wanted to do was see my maggots.

I pulled the blankets aside and saw that I really did have maggots crawling all over my body. I was so whacked out I loved it. But I also saw that I had a rash spreading over my tummy and my thighs, and I was soaked with sweat. And then suddenly I needed to see what it looked like between my legs. I sat up a little, picked up the hand mirror I have on the table next to my bed, and held it between my thighs.

My pussy was totally gaped wide open. I'd never seen it like that before. It reminded me of a mouth in a sick, gagging expression. My inner lips were swollen and dark purple, almost black, while my outer lips were cherry red and I was losing a layer of dead skin, like a sunburn. A stream of the light brown slime was oozing from inside my vagina and down my butt crack onto the shitty mattress. Although I could still feel a large mass of maggots and rotten meat inside me, there were maggots everywhere between my legs. Hundreds of them.

And then I saw my fingers on my pussy. They plunged deep into my vagina and dragged out a wad of slime and maggots, which I pressed hard against my clit. I remember having a huge orgasm right then, and I must have passed out. I think I was sobbing too, but I'm not sure.

That's all I remember until I woke up in the hospital.

[halfdead-halfskeleton]

Notes:

You have a burnout and Rook is comforting you.

"Melancholic" once again, so maybe a bit OOC? HCs/fic/whatever it is too.

I don't know how to deal with burnout effectively and properly, so don't take it as a guide or anything like that.

Let me know if you want to see my hcs about how Rook deals with his burnout.

One day, instead of going to NRC like usual, you studied from home using one of Idia's spare tablets. Nobody knew why you suddenly decided to do that. You didn't look sick yesterday, you didn't say you felt sad or exhausted. Your friends just thought that you probably caught a cold again or simply wanted try out the tablet. But Rook, on the other hand, was more than aware something was wrong, even if he couldn't say exactly what at first.

You looked so cheerful the day before it seems suspicious to him. Rook decided not to comment on that back then just in case you genuinely felt so happy.

But when you didn't show up to classes in person he knew it wasn't the case.

So, he decided to secretly leave you some gifts in the afternoon!

Your comfort food, some favourite sweets and drinks, even photos you took together while exploring woods behind the campus.

It did surprise you at first, but you immediately could tell it was Rook's doing. He wasn't nearby so you thanked him in your mind. "I'll do it in person later," you thought.

While all of these gifts were great and they did make you happy at first, your mood suddenly went down.

You felt guilty for making him worry. And you knew these presents won't give you energy to go back to college to socialize and study with barely any breaks. And don't forget about cleaning up everyone's mess...

In a few days, you stopped showing up. At all. You didn't even use that tablet. You couldn't bring yourself to get out of bed, let alone study. You tried to get up but kept falling back, if your body even tried to listen to you in the first place. But a sudden loud phone call managed to get you up instantly.

You picked the phone in panic, your heartbeat was so fast you could hear it loud and clear in your head.

The person who called you was Rook. He paused before speaking so you could catch up your breath.

"Good morning! Hope you're doing better, we all are worried about you here. If you need medical help, I can bring you to the nurse office at anytime."

You reluctantly responded, "I'm glad to hear that but... I can deal with that myself."

"Can you? You're going to overwork yourself again and burnout even more. So please, let me lend you a hand."

"I don't need to go to the nurse though, I'm not doing that badly."

"But are you taking care of yourself?" You didn't respond. You genuinely forgot or just didn't have energy to do your daily routine. You even forgot to eat some of the sweets he gifted you. "I'll visit you once I'm done with my work, alright?"

In the evening, when Rook entered your room his eyes were locked on you. You looked clearly exhausted, half-dead if you will. You didn't even brush your hair this morning. Yet he still found you beautiful.

He kept murmuring compliments while brushing your hair. You smiled out of reflex, even though you didn't feel super comfortable. You were so used to taking care of others, it felt so weird to be taken care of.

"This sweet little smile of yours is just so magnifique! You know how to charm people in an instant."

Rook even did your makeup! And helped you to get in warmer clothes, as it was a bit chilly inside your room.

Afterwards, you had a nice dinner. He made sure to choose something both healthy and what you would've liked for 100%.

When you said you didn't have much appetite and left a bit of food untouched he understood that. You kept feeling like you forgot something important and just couldn't make yourself eat because of that.

Suddenly being taken care of like that was pretty overwhelming to you, so you asked him to leave for a while. "I'm genuinely sorry, but... I really need to stay alone for a while. Could you go outside for some time? You're a vice housewarden, I'm sure you have a lot of work. There's no need to spend so much on me anyway."

"Non, your well-being is one of the most important things for me! But I will leave for half an hour or more, so take a good rest. I'll knock on the door when I come back, agree?"

You nodded and he soon left. It was hard to relax, yet you tried. You lied in bed for who knows how long, staring at the ceiling and not moving. As you began to doze off, Rook gently knocked on the door. Wait, was it really half an hour already? Oh. It was almost midnight.

You quietly said "Come in" as you couldn't get up and open the door yourself. Rook entered the room with some papers. Was it notes for your classes? Yeah, it was.

He cuddled with you until you fell asleep despite trying to stay awake. You remembered what you wanted to do and why you didn't really have appetite earlier. In the end of the day, you still didn't thank him! You began to speak but only a barely noticeable "Rook..." left your mouth. And so, you feel asleep in his arms.

It will take a lot of time for things to go back to normal. And yet, despite everything, there's someone willing to be with you when you feel like an empty shell of your own self. "Goodnight," he softly kissed your forehead before falling asleep as well.

[beggingwolf]

“You haven’t been acting like yourself.”, sidgeno

Sid watched the lawn care guys roll out their equipment, unloading the huge mower from the back of the trailer. He'd waited too long.

He tapped his phone against his thigh before getting up off his patio and heading back inside. He'd wanted to make this call sitting by the lake and watching the sunrise. He'd missed the sunrise by a few hours, and now he didn't even have the lake.

He swore softly to himself in a way that reminded him of his father, and then he finally hit the call button on the screen.

He looked out of the glass doors unseeingly as the phone rang, and rang, and rang.

Just before he went to voice-mail, Geno picked up.

"Sid."

It was loud. Not club-loud, but people-loud. There were lots of disparate voices clogging the line, and Sid turned away from the patio doors and closed his eyes, focusing on the sound of Geno's voice.

"Hi." Sid cleared his throat. "Is this a good time?"

"It's lunch," Geno said. "Sasha, Dima, lots of guys. Why you call?"

"It's a bad time. Sorry. I'll call back."

"No, no," Geno interrupted. "You okay? It's Sam?"

"No." Sid let out a little wry half-laugh. Sam was graying these days, and Geno demanded photographic evidence of her every time Sid went to his parents' place. "She's still kicking."

"It's morning. You not training today?"

"No. Rest day. Got up early out of habit."

The noisy silence between them got quieter as Geno moved away from the ambient restaurant noises. He heard Geno mumble out something in Russian before the squeak of a door hinge plunged them into true quiet.

"You call because you miss me last night?" Geno's voice slid into an intimate, familiar teasing tone. In private, away from everything else, he got so soft.

"It looked like you were having fun." Sid's voice was a little too high in return, his chest tight. "Run into anyone else I know?"

"Russian celebrities. The most famous. My friends now," Geno teased.

Sid twitched as the lawn mower roared to life outside. He'd seen the photos Geno had thrown into the team groupchat. He'd also seen the photos Geno had sent just to him: Geno, drunk and draped over pretty people with his shirt half unbuttoned. His smile had been bright enough to shine in the flash.

"The knee's okay?"

"Good, good," Geno said, waving it off.

Sid searched for something else to ask. His mind whirled like it sometimes did these days, too full to form into anything worth saying.

"...Sid?"

"Yeah."

"You're okay?"

Sid chewed at his lip as he heard the lawn mower turn and get closer. It was an impossible question.

"Sid. It's bad day?"

"I haven't had a bad day in months." It was true. The sick feeling, the nausea, the light sensitivity... they'd all been gone for a long time.

"You call twice yesterday. You sure?"

"It wasn't important."

All Sid heard for a long moment was the lawn mower eating through his yard. The loud buzz in his ears rang. It was familiar in a way that made him feel very small.

"Sid, you're acting little bit..."

Geno trailed off. His voice was unbearably soft.

"What," Sid bit out.

"Little bit not like you. What's happen? You okay?"

"Yes. No."

"Sid."

Sid couldn't bear hearing Geno's voice like that over the phone, across an ocean. They had spent so long with each other over the course of Geno's knee injury, bonding over their injuries and their bone-deep need to get back onto the ice. It had led to more than just a closer friendship. Now, with Geno in Moscow, Sid missed him like a limb.

"I miss you," he finally confessed. "I miss hockey. I miss my normal life. I'm not myself. I don't feel like myself without it. I don't feel like myself without--"

The lawn mower roared. Sid stared at his hardwood floors, wishing they looked like the carpet of the Consol locker room instead.

"Sid," Geno said, and Sid finally sat down, the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Geno spoke softly to him for a long time, and Sid missed him like the feeling of ice beneath his skates.

[masonscig]

heyy, explaining what i said about the N romance, sorry in advance for the long rant:

i played for the first time w my usual detective in a relationship with nate and thought the pacing and timing of everything was pretty weird. i think the 2 main things people were excited for were the love confession and the first intimate scene, and both of them felt very off to me. like, the detective can say they're in love with them very early, during the combat/ressearch scene, and they don't say it back LMAO... and to me that wouldn't necessarily be an issue if the reasons they couldn't say it were explored, but they're not and there's an option to go down on them/have them go down on you immediately after 😀 like right there on the grass! so obviously that's pretty odd and ooc in itself but there's ALSO the date scene in which they bang the detective on the pool table and leave right after bc they got a call from A to join them on patrol?!?!??

they do end up confessing their feelings in the end and it's cute or whatever but everything just feels kinda weightless. N was always constructed as a very intense and romantic character so idk what happened. i think this whole book suffered bc of the insane amount of branching and it's very evident in this romance, the scenes feel really choppy.

i ended up replaying it without being in a relationship and it was sooo much smoother, only having the option to confess in the end after they do makes a lot more sense and those s3x scenes should just have been saved for other books, period. i did really like the other routes, especially A's, but to me this one was a miss. at least the mc can opt out of everything and wait for the next book lmao

HIIII IM GLAD YOU SENT ME THIS <3 sorry i didn't get to it yesterday! and don't apologize for it being long i loved reading it !!!

god i knew that mc could say "i love you" and n could not say it back – and about the pool scene – and the later confession from n – but like. i didn't have a clear picture of the route itself, and it's coming together and ... not looking so good imo LMAO

what's crazy to me, is that mis/hka created SUCH a good opportunity for conflict in the n route, what with mc saying i love you and n not saying it back – as soon as i heard from a friend you could do that, i was FLOORED and i was so sure that n's route was going to be a favorite. and yet, she completely flubbed it by not giving consequences to decisions. i wonder why she gives players the options to do things that should cause conflict if she won't follow through with it?

part of me thinks it's because of the insane branching, like you said, but also i think that as much as she might try to write varying paths for the n romance, it doesn't turn out that way because she favors a certain type of mc and that's evident in every route i think? like of course there's no way to account for every mc out there – it's not on her if our specific oc doesn't quite fit in the story – however, if you're advertising certain aspects of n's romance like their secretiveness, their intenseness, their guilt, their struggle with humanity, etc etc, and how that would alter a romantic route, then you can't expect every player choosing him for that to just. be okay with random i love you confessions and mid sex scenes that are completely out of place both with the plot of b3 and the timeline of mc's relationship with n?

sorry i'm jumping all around the place (im so bad about that with answering asks LMAO) – but you picked the exact right phrasing: it's weightless. it just doesn't feel like the n romance we were promised from book 1, book 2, the asks, patreon, etc. i don't know what went wrong :/

and dude YES, i was so convinced that mis/hka was going to have each ro's first sex scene be in a different book to add more flavor to each route – and i figured this was going to be f's chance to shine LMAO and that she'd save n's scene for the next book! i thought so much of this book was going to be romantic without sex, but... god was i wrong. i honestly would've preferred zero sex on any of the routes because it just doesn't fit (i could've even justified n engaging in sex with the mc to like. distract them from saying "i love you")

sorry for the essay from me KMDFMKDFKM you've given me so much to think about !! ty again for the ask !!! <333

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s2 ep24: Tuvix

Yet another epsiode I dreaded having to watch- what is this, the twelfth time this season? This season's batting average isn't great, to say the least. This particular episode is one I especially dislike because a lot of the fandom discourse around it is pretty obnoxious. But even before I was aware of the fandom, I didn't care for this one.

It starts out with Neelix being jerky to Tuvok on an away mission- Neelix, for some reason, can't stand that Tuvok thinks or feels differently from him, so he makes it his business to badger Tuvok into behaving how he wants him to. I know this intro was meant to set them up as being so opposite to make them being mixed up into one person cute or funny, but honestly it just makes me dislike Neelix. Tuvok wasn't being mean or rude, but Neelix would not listen to Tuvok's stated desire to focus on the mission and not talk about his feelings. Neelix never respects Tuvok's culture or personal boundaries, and it's not cute or funny, and it makes it really hard to sympathize with him. And it goes on this way for the whole series. The way Neelix treats Kes is bad enough, but he treats Tuvok badly too, so at this point I can't just wave it away as occasional bad writing- it's a consistent character trait that Neelix treats the people he loves or wants most with complete disrespect. And it does taint whatever nice moments they give his character elsewhere, for me. But Neelix isn't in this one for long, because there's a transporter accident! Whoops, Neelix and Tuvok are fused into one person! And, though it seems impossible, he's even more annoying than Neelix himself!

For starters, Tuvix looks like a creepy evil elf creature with those red contacts. Secondly, I'm scratching my head and laughing over how someone thought that if you molecularly mix clothing with an abstract print and a solid color, you get a floral print, lol. Sorry, but prints on fabric do not occur at a molecular level. It’s a cute design choice, but more suited to a magic spell than a transporter accident.

And then we get to Tuvix himself, who is so arrogant, selfish, and obnoxious that Neelix was actually preferable. And the way he went after Kes was so skeevy! Her boyfriend basically died yesterday, and Tuvix is like 'who cares, let me just pick up where Neelix left off!' even though she's clearly distressed, and he's a stranger to her. And when he’s like ‘sure I love my wife T'Pel, but I still wanna date you!' it was like eww!!! Gag!!! Tuvok would NEVER do that, EVER. Nobody who is even half Tuvok would do that, and honestly, even though Neelix can be an asshole sometimes, even he wouldn’t be THAT insensitive. Ew. And when she asked him to leave, though she's clearly uncomfortable, he's still standing there trying to convince her! And then he has the gall to go in for a kiss! Eww! I was grateful it was only a cheek kiss, but still, what a creeper!!!

The only thing I liked in this episode was Janeway and Kes having their little mother-daughter heart to heart chat, and finding out Janeway was reading Tuvok's old letters because she missed him. Brb sobbing!!

Also, does no one in Starfleet know how to cook?? Really?? All those grown ass adults couldn't handle cooking for themselves without Neelix there?? And they call millenials helpless! (Though apparently Tom and Harry knew how to cook, because they were sitting at a table already eating while everyone else was flailing around- they may be Voyager's pretty boy squad, but at least they have some life skills to fall back on lol)

I know people love to slam Janeway for ordering Tuvix to separate back into Tuvok and Neelix, but she made the best decision she could from every standpoint, given that in universe, it was a no win situation, and from a Doylist standpoint, she had no other option but to choose Tuvok and Neelix.

In universe, she had to think of her crew and their mission, and Tuvok and Neelix were more useful separately than as Tuvix. Starfleet captains order officers to their death all the time in the name of their mission. It's part of the job, and Tuvix, being half Tuvok, would have understood that. I honestly don't think Tuvix would have lacked the selflessness to choose to save Tuvok and Neelix at the expense of his own life, since neither of them would have protested sacrificing themselves to save others.

Secondly, Tuvix did have to use their bodies and minds to survive- who's to say his right to live was greater than theirs?

Thirdly, Tuvok was her best friend- who the hell isn't going to do whatever they can to get their best friend back? Tuvix himself seemed cool with killing Tuvok and Neelix to stay alive. He insisted they lived on in him, in a way, so their deaths were no big deal. If it's truly no big deal to kill them, like he says, why is it a big deal for him? Why should he have a problem living on, in a way, in them? Him making a fuss that they're killing him to bring Tuvok and Neelix back is in itself a tacit acknowledgement that he's killing them to survive- and he expects that all these people are gonna let him kill two of their friends to keep him there?? Please. If it had been Kirk having to kill some unholy combination of Spock and Chekov to get Spock back, he would have, no hesitation, and no one would blame him, or call him a murderer for separating 'Spockov' back into two people. He's a man, so people accept that men in leadership positions have to make tough choices, and can't always be nice, far more than they do for women. It's crappy to give your main character a no-win scenario that will make them look mean or callous no matter what they choose, but it's worse when it's the first female lead, who will get less leeway from viewers just by virtue of being a woman.

But fourthly, and most importantly, whatever one might consider the morally correct choice to have been, keeping Tuvix would have been a terrible story choice. I mean, Tuvix was annoying and a jerk??? Literally who would want this guy around forever??? He has all of the two characters bad qualities, and none of the good ones that make them interesting, so that honestly would have sucked to be stuck with him for how many goddamn seasons, sorry. What do the people who criticize Janeway for her decision want- should they have actually fired two actors, and written their characters out for good?? No thank you! I don’t like Tuvix, so too bad! Welcome back Tuvok and Neelix, because I like them better!! It's a show!! It’s all fiction!!! I want to spend time with the characters who are my friends on the little space ship on the tv screen, so Tuvix gets to die!! Honestly they couldn't kill him fast enough!! Sorry not sorry!!!

And at the end, the focus was on Janeway and how she had to steel herself to do this thing she found difficult and distateful, and there was no pay off of Tuvok and Neelix saying 'thanks, you made the right decision!' to soften how awful what she had to do was. We don't even know if Tuvok of Neelix remember being Tuvix, for all that! Both of them seem pretty unfazed by having been another person, 'dying' and coming back as themselves- but like, they shared a mind! Do they understand each other better now? Couldn't this have been a gateway to the both of them agreeing to have a more respectful and less adversarial relationship from now on? It should have, but it was totally glossed over and never brought up again! Why even bother to do this episode if it ended up having no effect on anyone, except to make the fandom whine about how mean Janeway is??

Tl;dr: An attempt at raising an ethical conundrum that ultimately failed, because the writers painted themselves into a corner- they created a character that had to die no matter what, so every point they tried to make was moot from the start.

[pbandjesse]

I'm getting to go home like 3 hours earlier than I thought it was going to tonight. This is excellent. Honestly I had a pretty good day overall and the event tonight was fun even if it was a lot less well attended than I think the group hoped. It was still a good night.

I woke up unhappy today. I got plenty of sleep but I did not want to get up and my alarm frightened me. When I woke up though it was tangled in the blanket and I couldn't find it for a minute but in shaking out the blanket to turn the alarm off I found James is missing earring. So that was exciting. I know they were sad about that. And I was excited to be able to get back to them.

So pretty cute today. I liked my overalls and I was feeling ready to do low ropes. But I actually would not do low ropes in the end I would do macro survey. Which is what I originally had wanted to do anyway so that was totally fine with me. And I got myself ready and held sweet pea for a little bit. James made me an egg sandwich. And then I went to work.

And it wasn't a terrible drive. I did feel like we were dealing with some amount of traffic and some amount of stupid. But not a huge deal. The piano was back! And that was weird.

I got to camp and went to the office to grab the key for ropes. And then I drove up there to set up low ropes and was doing pretty good. I was enjoying my podcast. My allergies were bothering me really bad. Like from the moment I woke up I was very itchy and sneezy and my eyes hurt. Thankfully the allergy medication made my eyes better but I was just itchy and sneezy basically all day. The pollen was really bad. Like it coded my car. Not not comfortable.

I will go back to the office and Elizabeth would ask me if I wanted to do macro instead and I said sure. So I went and grabbed the gator to set that up. And I got to be very vindicated when Elizabeth had given me the spare key because the regular one was missing and I immediately found the regular one in the cup holder. And I'm just like guys did none of you look. Apparently they had just asked Manny to do it and he did not look very well. And it was very funny to see them all freak out and go we shouldn't have trusted him. It was very silly.

But I got my program set up and I decided I would be at stream site. I would mainly regret that. Like it's nice being down there but it's so hard to find anything. I was basically the only one finding stuff all day. I was hoping that would be better for finding water bugs but no such luck. The water was just moving too much.

I would go and drive the Gator around to pick up some materials because I needed more nets and they weren't where I thought they were and it was like a whole thing. But I would end up parking the Gator at the lodge and then hanging out on the porch for a bit but Elizabeth asked me to put the gator back for real so I did. And then when I came back the group was still not there. Took a few minutes for them to arrive but once they did they were really nice.

They were older than I expected. Third grade through 8th or 9th. But good kids. They broke them into their age groups. The problem really was that the teacher seemed very confused about what programs they were doing. They were in the impression they were doing zip line. But I zipline is currently broken so instead we had them on the schedule to do horses and climbing tower and archery and. Apparently the teacher we spoke to yesterday did not communicate that to anyone. So we were having to deal with them being a little confused. But I still think that the group had a really nice time and that is all that matters to me in the long run.

I would take my group after a long wait of them figuring out who was going where. And we went down the hill and they were great. They were funny and found some good stuff. I would find a newt with almost every group today. So that was really exciting for me. I was having more luck finding things than the kids were though. I was still counting them. I was putting them in the box and letting them look at them and not making a big deal about what I found or what they found. I just wanted them to experience stuff and they were being very brave and I appreciated that.

How's the group Scott older though had less luck. Mostly because some of them were just not participating. It was fine but it was just like not fun for me. Like if you're not going to participate at all you're being very boring. And I was not going to play with them and pretend I didn't think they were being annoying about it. I was like I think people who don't do science are boring. Literally all we're doing is drapes around in the woods and you're screaming over dirt. Boring.

But overall the kids were great and the teachers were great. I had a couple teachers that were just very much not into this and I think that did not help the enthusiasm of their children. But it's fine. I had two groups in the morning and I was in a good mood. I was just sneezy and tired but not terribly so.

Elizabeth said that there would be pizza for us so that was exciting. But I would still go to the office and eat the lunch that I brought. I had some salad and a couple of the leftover fried raviolis from yesterday. I chatted with Heather and Alexi and then walked over to the lodge for the aforementioned pizza. And all of a sudden Elizabeth's like hey we may not have any pizza. And so then everyone was kind of sad but it turned out they had like 10 pies left. And it was Michael's which we always get but it was thinner than normal and it wasn't as good and that was a little sad. I still ate it cuz I love pizza. And we were all chilling in the kitchen and just hanging out and it was nice. I still am feeling a little weird. I don't really feel like I have a confident now that Celia isn't there and that makes me sad but I'm still enjoying it and talking and doing my best to be a part of the conversations. And I was having a nice time.

My afternoon groups were a little rougher. A little more screamy. One child threw a net at another and hit me in the face and it was really upset about it. Another said I looked like a cop?? And then another said I was emo and I was shopped in the moment and the teacher made them apologize to me and I was like hey it wasn't a huge deal I just caught me off guard. And I wasn't sure if they were saying it as a compliment or as a mean thing and that's why I was like that's not nice when he said it. because it felt like he was making fun of me but I could be wrong. I wish I could have found the pictures Mom sent me last year from when I was 13 because I think that would have been funny to show him but I couldn't find them on my phone.

My last group was the only one that really didn't even kind of drive. Of the 14 kids I had three of them participated. And I really appreciated those three and then four kids. Because I was getting kind of bummed out. First of all they were 20 minutes late to a 35 minute program. And then when I finally got them down there half of them were like absolutely not gross not touching bugs not doing any of this and I'm like okay. But then the teacher also didn't try to participate and let them stand in the road and she just went out and stood there with them and I'm like This is not really encouraging your kids to do science. Like this is the one school program that they have to do today and you are just going to let them stand over there and throw balls at each other okay. That's fine not my circus not my monkeys I guess.

But I found that very boring because I think they would have really enjoyed it if they tried. Or even just hung out in the woods with me you didn't even have to find anything. They were all just like oh we have allergies I'm like okay fine sure. I also have allergies like been sneezing literally all day. But I told the kids that tried how much I appreciated them doing so and in the end we found nine things. Not the best not the worst. It was fun.

I cleaned up and I was determined to carry everything to the office in one trip. Because I really wanted to leave it too and it was 2:00 exactly at this point. I sent the group up the hill and muscled that stuff that I had with me even though it hurt my hand so bad. And after I dropped everything off and collected my things I said goodbye to Heather and Alexi and then I was off.

This was a pretty tight turnaround because I told Jesse that I would be there at 3:30. Honestly probably just should have said I'll be there at 4:00 but I felt bad because maril was getting there at 2:30. But now we are going to deal with this by doing split shifts so that we overlap but I don't have to rush as much and I very much appreciate that. Because I had a 40-minute drive home so I left at 2:00 got home around 2:45. Brought in the mail pet Sweet pea grabbed Ruby. Went upstairs turned Ruby loose to vacuum while I took a shower. I tried on my new dress that came in the mail. I held Sweet pea for a minute. I got dressed. I read in my makeup. I did not like my hair so I tried to brush it out and put product in it and it didn't help much. And then it was time to go and I was already running late.

So having an extra hour or so will definitely alleviate some of that because I did not get to eat and that was not ideal. It's all fine like nobody cares that I'm late nobody really cares when I start. It will matter later but for now while we're doing these training and practice runs it's not as big of a deal. I just like to be punctual and so it is hard for me.

I had a really nice night though. This was a party for the contractors and Union electricians and carpenters and the people in organizations that work with them. But there was apparently a ton of traffic and only about half the people they were expecting showed up which was a bummer. They were supposed to be like delegates and stuff and they couldn't come because they got trapped in Annapolis. But everyone who did came was really nice. And it was like a low key party but the food was really good and the people were really nice and I really enjoyed my night. I really enjoyed hanging out with My coworkers. And I was just having a good time learning about stuff and meeting the caterers and shaking hands. When we ran out of things that we actively had to do we had a sit down long couple hour meeting where we discussed procedures and ideas and trying to optimize stuff and it was a lot of fun. Like I felt like I was learning stuff and that was cool I always like to learn.

We would take a break to go eat. There wasn't much okay but there was shredded potatoes with cheese and it was really good. I honestly probably should have had a second cup but I was having a good time and I got to try a whole bunch of desserts and they were all Spanish and caramel. And it was great. The little cookie sandwiches were my favorite. And I was enjoying talking to Meril and Jesse and then a woman came up and stood with us and she was like can I eat with you guys and we're like oh my god yes we are staff and she was like no that's chill. And we ended up networking with her and we got business cards and we talked about collaborating both with the museum and with camp and it was really cool just to feel like a person and get to interact with people and I hope that I can do that more because that's something I've always loved about events. I love getting to meet all different types of people and thinking about what we can do. And we also found out that her and Jesse live like one block away from each other so it was really cute that they got to like be neighbors and it was awesome. I was just having a really good time.

The night would go on. And because they had so few people they cleared out a little bit early. They were really thankful and really nice and hoping that they could come back in the future with hopefully more people. And then we just started cleaning up. Jesse would show us more about turning off lights. Me and Meril would race across the room to try to get to the light switch before the other one. We were just having a silly time. Being goofy. But we were also making decisions and discussing stuff to make things run better in the future. To foster better communication throughout the different departments and the community around us that shares our campus. And I think we're just a really good team. I think we all have like different energies and silliness but like it comes together really well too.

At the very end of the night as the caterers were leaving they gave us whole bag of food and they didn't want it so I took it and so I'm about to go inside our house and look through this bag and I'm very excited about it.

We would all say goodbye and left a little after 10:00. And now I'm sitting outside the house and I'm excited to go inside and see my husband and my cat and get ready for bed.

tomorrow we do not have a field trip but I am still going to go to camp and probably set up some stuff for Monday's field trip. And then I have prom! Because that is our event tomorrow and until excited about it. I don't have to go in till 4:00 so I do have some wiggle room which is nice. And I just hope that I have a good day. I hope you do too. Sleep well everybody until next time. Good night.