#i'm so proud of him he's such a good boy

[monstermoviedean]

shhhhhhh he sleeby

[aunmenosheteroenespanol]

2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered

Tommy's family arc

[black-and-yellow]

Friendship ended with Bradley. Now Louis is my best friend.

[trashlie]

ILY FP 258

I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.

Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.

I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!

That's enough rambling, let's jump in.

There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.

But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.

A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.

This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.

I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.

There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.

As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.

Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.

And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.

How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).

He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.

He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.

And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;

For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.

I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...

Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who  has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.

But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.

I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.

I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.

And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.

Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.

[cynicaldesire]

Almost all of the coverage I've seen regarding Polin has been centered around how Colin Learned to See Penelope and how She fell first, He went completely unhinged. All the nice, good, positive things about friends-to-lovers and two people falling in love.

But one thing I haven't seen discussed is Penelope's actions between hearing that he would never court her and his apology.

She thinks after he goes out of his way to save her from her cousin's fake ruby mines and dances with her and "You're special to me, I'll always look out for you" that Colin must've finally come to see her as a romantic option. But then, when confronted by some toxic dudes about their relationship, Colin is like Ew, no, never in your wildest fantasies.

She's been in love with this boy for years at this point and this is the final nail that he, and by extension the rest of the Ton, will never see her as anything other than a joke. She has no respect, she is not viewed as a romantic option, her and her family are a joke. And it was Colin that said it.

This is her final straw. She's hurt and so she hurts him. Either on purpose or in an attempt to protect herself. She never says whether she read his letters, we only hear that she never responded. He said to her before that she is a constant in his life, that she would never forsake him, and she does just that. Because he did it first (without knowing). She withholds her friendship and affection because he doesn't want to court her.

Sounds a lot like a certain subset of men. Men who befriend women and are nice with the expectation of sex. (I don't truly believe this, but it was brought to my attention in this way.)

She withholds her letters, the one thing that he looks forward to on those trips, because he unknowingly hurt her. Cutting him off from her affection is what causes him to realize some measure of his feelings for her, so it ends up working in her favor, but it's still an abusive move.

It does help her find the strength to finally confront him about his behavior last season, which is the communication they needed to move forward. But it is in her anger and giving up that she is able to find the strength to even remotely touch on her feelings for him, and his feelings for her.

[takiki16]

A Fine Chain

UPDATE: Chapter 14/?

Fandom: Jupiter Ascending

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Beta: @gallifreyburning

Relationships: Jupiter Jones/Caine Wise

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Light Dom/sub, Power Imbalance, Royalty, Slavery, Collars, Leashes, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Don’t copy to another site, Dark

Summary: Caine Wise, disgraced ex-Skyjacker and convicted criminal, is suddenly inducted into the service of the enigmatic Queen Nea-Seraphi, mysterious new Recurrence and puzzle to the Entitled social circle. While figuring out the boundaries of his new station, worrying about his old commander, and nursing old wounds from his court martial, Caine finds himself slowly being drawn into the confidence of his royal employer. What could Her Majesty possibly want with a defective splice?

In which the queen is in peril, royal wardrobes are dismantled, and Caine experiences some tribulations.

The wonderful @zahnie has made a PLAYLIST for this fic!!!! Go check it out immediately!

[cinna-bunnie]

i just finished iron blooded orphans and need to lay down for a bit

[kelpiemomma]

i don't recommend trailering a horse 17 hours in one day, but we just did it and goddamn Malik is such a trooper. Best boy. I love him.

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

undefined

Wes on vocals performing “Pollution” and “I’m Broke” in Osaka, Japan in 4/3/2018

credit: makoto_12_21 on youtube

[vegaseatsass]

Oh btw that Never Let Me Go episode ruuuuuuuuled

[heartburstings]

i know we joke and point out how different things would have been if jason came out to sister chantelle instead, bc there is so little support in his life and the only one who knows His Truth TM is peter, but...

he's Really good at playing his role. peter was picked out as gay when he stepped in for diane during rehearsals, showing he's memorized juliet's lines as he does the choreography with jason, even finishes his lines For him. and yeah, it's obvious, so chantelle has him stay after rehearsals, but.

the thing is, jason was still able to pass as straight. he was Literally the romeo to peter's juliet and, perhaps because he was romeo from the start--due to his popularity--it was inconceivable he could ever reciprocate what peter felt for him.

the thing is, peter did not choose to come out to sister chantelle. he only chose his mom, and also matt as a technical bonus. he did not seek out support--only wanted to stop lying to the people he loves and is close with. he got her support anyway.

jason did not choose to come out--it happened for him. he then chose to come out to father flynn, who i assume was not at rehearsals amd did not hear bc why would he be at rehearsals. begged and cried for support and did not receive. sure, he got a speech about how the church would be his spine, that he could work past it, but that kind of support is a rejection.

so i have to wonder... if matt never walked in on jason and ivy, had never callously, carelessly outed jason--

--would anyone other than peter and matt even know, without a doubt, with absolute certainty, that he was gay?

[ibmbrain]

hi i'm here and it's the weekend and i. love the floyds so bad they're so fucking important all the time actually

[atlaravianlegends]

Lord Igneous (Dragon Reference 2023)

-Name: Lord Obsidian Igneous -Birthdate: Jul/14/0021 -Male (He/Him) -Pansexual -Soul Trait: Virtue

-25'2" tall (7.67 m) -92'8" (28.25 m) wingspan - 42'3" (12.88 m) singular wing -4 "fingers" -3 "toes" -Bump on wrist -Spike on heel -All patterns are symmetrical

Human Form

Time Taken: 5:50 hours

DeviantArt Comic Tumblr Instagram Twitter AO3 YouTube Discord: @nightfurynova4112

[thefoooconspiration]

I'M SORRY BUT OGGE SHARING A WHOLE BUNCH OF THROWBACK THE FOOO CONSPIRACY STUFF ON HIS INSTAGRAM STORIES HELLO????? AJO GREAT IDEA WHY DON'T I JUST BREAK DOWN AND CRY FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT THANKS

[hugispuso-archive]

i'm so normal (lying)

[locria-writes]

hi, welcome to my ted talk where i gush about my good and unproblematic children who accidentally help set in motion everything bad that happened leading up to the personal writing catastrophe that i've yet to name :D also not this soft enemies-to-friends-to-lovers arc

lan xiaoyun (兰霄云) aka local friendly nihilist aka friendly neighbourhood miser

24, single, very much ready to not mingle

thinks she's in a psychological military horror-drama (she's half-wrong)

only became a sergeant major in the earth coalition military bc there were too many ppl dead and they needed to fill in ranks. resigned the first chance they accepted lol

should probably see a therapist and stop seeing alcohol and sleeping pills as her best friends

needs to get a hobby

absurdly high standards for beauty/handsomeness

would be on an episode of extreme couponing ngl

natural-born bully, actively tries to not bully but can't help herself. doesn't help that she's just a naturally blunt person, but she does have a filter

aspires to be in a permanent head-empty state, does not like thinking, but works a cognitive-intense job and is renowned for her ability to pull absurdly long hours with minimal sleep

hates sweet food, prefers spicy and sour

may or may not have a slight brocon but it's okay he's dead lol

is 157cm, therefore radiates the same energy as a feral chihuahua

is ambivalent and not averse to sex and kissing on the first date, or even just hookups

watched her 3 previous bfs die brutal deaths (#1 in an exploding ship, #2 had his face smashed in, #3 vapourized), so she's kinda convinced anyone she dates is gonna die brutally and it's her fault

florentius asturias aka overgrown puppy when in love aka wholesome lad

30, single, very much ready to mingle if it's xiaoyun

thinks he's in a family friendly romcom (he's half-right)

prodigal venator pilot, equally prodigal commander, a marshal in concordia and basically one of their living legends

25% kind and altruistic, 25% honest and forthcoming, 25% patient, 10% calculating, 5% pragmatic, 5% charming, 5% clumsy = 100% endearing

has good taste, but always picks the worst people for his current state aka he chased upward when he was down and is now chasing down when he's up

also really needs to get a hobby

had two messy breakups in the past (#1 broke up to marry someone richer, #2 was just a mess with infidelity), but is surprisingly still an optimistic romantic

known to be stoic and aloof to his subordinates and colleagues, but is actually a big softie on the inside and is very emotive

a true gentleman, chugs his respect women juice and has indeed killed people who don't

extremely competent at his job, but is actually kinda useless otherwise; man can't cook, can't decorate for shit, has no hobbies, but since he's 190cm, can be used as a very pretty and motivational ladder

currently being exiled to bad baby jail (less lucrative post) by his superior bc he's not married and initially had no intentions of getting hitched

unabashedly a sweet tooth, has never hid it, will never hide it, and shouts it proudly from the rooftops

does not believe in sex on the first date, or even kissing on the first date, does not believe in hookups (for himself) either

is convinced this relationship will work out since she hasn't managed to kill him the previous 48 times she tried