note that i will only ever call mithrun "stupid" jokingly. by "stupid", i only mean "frustrating behavior that i am immensely familar with". seeing him do something that makes me groan aloud, closing my eyes, sighing "stupid (affectionate, mournful)". like when he fucking... his dumbass "i don't want to [use the bathroom] right now, so it's fine." oughh. i know you! i know you! that's not how that works!!! and he's smart!!! he's so smart... but god, god... he's kind of an absent professor. he's kind of a cloudcuckoolander. i love him dearly. he gets called a dummy, a little idiot, and i flick his forehead, a little bonk of hard-heads, like "try again, idiot. that's not how bodies work." and "ooh, 'that's not going to work'. yes it is. shut up, stoopid. stubborn little man, my god." rolling my eyes forever.
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Wip Wednesday ☔️
I was tagged by @daffi-990 @theotherbuckley and @exhuastedpigeon thank youuu 💛
I know, I know, I've been slacking with the wips lately, but I'm finally back knee-deep in the mudslide fic, which has now passed 48k in the main file 🫡 — and yet at the same time, I am totally running out of snippets to post that aren't too spoilery smh
So here, have this tidbit from somewhere closer to the beginning:
One second everything was just like before; people hustling and bustling around, carrying the injured on backboards from one place to the other, sending the ever circulating line of ambulances on their way down the road — and the next second the ground was rumbling under their feet.
He should’ve known, he should’ve known, he should’ve—
The main road was directly in the way of the slide and Buck snapped his head towards it so fast, he almost gave himself whiplash.
He watched cars get turned inwards and disappear under the wave of muddy water running down from the top of the hill, erasing them as if they’ve never even been there. Buck just stood there, all the blood running out of his body as he watched the mud push debris, rocks and bits of walls and fences out of its way before blanketing most everything in its wake, all the way down to the bottom where the trucks were now almost fully enveloped, only the very top inches visible as the water thrashed them around and licked at the underside of the bridge like a starving beast.
Suddenly everything moved in slow motion and the world dulled around Buck as he looked from left to right, barely even registering the shouts of names and the crackling of radios coming from all directions, the color of the gear of the rescue workers was seemingly one with the wet dirt all around them.
But on his next inhale everything rushed back to him; all the movements, the sounds, the colors — all with a terrifying realization.
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Ugh I gotta go to sleep cause it's an early morning for me tomorrow. But the next ep in my Granada Holmes rewatch is The Norwood Builder and I have thoughts and feelings about that episode!!
I wanna watch it now but I won't, just so I can have enough time to make a huge post going insane about it ahfnhsf
Be warned lol
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i'm so in love with wrio. that man is the embodiment of mercy and compassion. he is so... human. despite the deep disdain for atrocious acts that hurt others, especially acts that remind him of his own pain and traumas, he is able to keep himself in check and hold on to his values. despite being so proactive in fixing the wrongdoings of people that actively harm those under his care and assuring that everyone is supported in the best way possible; despite knowing he could have not controlled other people's hearts once they were in too deep in their own sins, he still feels helpless and incompetent. he recognises he cannot fully empathise with those who have been hurt for he has not experienced what they have and he understands that some wounds might not be able to heal even with all the attention and efforts, or at least not that easily. and it pains him. his whole life he's been trying to protect others. all his hard work during his time at the fortress and taking over it's administration has granted him the power and resources to actually change lives in a more restorative way, with a bigger amplitude than just the people who he's close to. yet he's only human. and not everyone wishes to be saved. and he doesn't hold back from breaking his own rules if means he is guaranteeing the best outcome for the greater good, for the well being of all of those he's sworn to protect. and although he earned himself a respectable title and even got used to being referred to in that way, he doesn't see people at the fortress as innmates but as equals. he never stopped being the little boy that was sentenced to live over a decade of his life there. and he is so good at what he does and he is so successful at restoring people's hopes in life, at giving them a second chance to become who they want to be, that there's people who actually want to stay there. he is the literal personification of turning your own pain into goodness, into love. love for community and love for others. he found meaning in making the world a better place and i just think that's really fucking beautiful.
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every person that sent me birthday love, every person that sent me and ask or sent me a dm or replied to my post, every person that even just thought of me today, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! i love you!!!!! 🖤
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the fuckass neighbours are blasting their music again. 😡 😡 😡 😡
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thinking about how chiyo is bad at accepting compliments/reciprocating bc she feels like it always sounds insincere from her no matter how much it means to her, and it's got me just!!! sad!!! bc i feel like that partially stems from chiyo feeling unsure how to properly connect with others. she sometimes feels like she's just playing a part, a role -- at least in the beginning. she doesn't know how to " be herself " bc she's too used to putting on a mask of some sort or adjusting her personality according to the individual. until she gets comfortable with someone ( and perhaps sometimes even after that ), there's this disconnect, this distance that she feels, and it's a struggle to cross it. compliments just make that worse bc they fluster her, and she's just never been good at responding to them. it's uncomfortable.
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I am very beautiful and it is time for my beautiful little nap
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