#i'm so used to being the autistic person who doesn't speak

[immortalsins]

haven’t thought about the good omens show in many years but the news of s2 has arrived just a few days after i had a great conversation with a drunk philosophy student dressed as crowley on a sticky sofa in the city’s best shitty club so might watch it for him

[janmisali]

what do you think of tone indicators in general?

unfortunately my thoughts on tone indicators are somewhat nuanced. fortunately, this is tumblr not twitter, so I can just write out my full thoughts in one post and be as verbose about it as feels necessary.

speaking as an autistic person (and I know there are other autistic people who don't hold this same view, this is just my perspective), I think as an accessibility tool, the extended set tone indicators in current popular use is fundamentally misguided.

the oldest ones, /s for sarcasm and /j for jokes, make sense. their notation isn't the most intuitive thing ("does /s mean sarcastic or serious?") but it's not too difficult to explain what they mean. I've had to spend my whole life learning by brute force what different tones of voice mean and what they change about how I'm supposed to interpret something, so I already know what "read this in a sarcastic voice" and "read this as a joke" are supposed to mean. my existing skills can be translated into the new form without too much effort.

the same thing applies to emoji and emoticons. I know what facial expressions mean, because I had to learn what they mean. figuring out if :) is sincere or not from context is a skill I've already needed to develop. it doesn't come naturally for me, but it's something I already at least somewhat know how to do.

most of the tone indicators in current use uh. don't work like this.

tone indicators like /ref or /nbh don't correspond to specific tones of voice. I don't have a "I'm making a reference" voice or a "I'm not talking about a person who's here" voice that I can picture the sentence being read in. these do not indicate tones, they're purely disambiguators. they clarify what something means without necessarily changing how it would be read out loud.

and on paper, that's fine, right? like, it's theoretically a good thing to take an otherwise ambiguous statement and add something to it that clarifies what you meant by it. the problem is that these non-tone tone indicators are not even remotely self-explanatory. it's up to me, the person who is being clarified to, to know what all these acronyms are supposed to mean, and how they change the way I'm supposed to interpret what something means.

it's, quite literally, a newly-invented second set of social cues that I'm expected to learn separately from the set that I've already spent my whole life figuring out, and it works completely differently.

sure, these rules are (in principle) less arbitrary than the rules of facial expressions and tones of voice and how long you're supposed to wait before it's your turn to speak, but they're also fully artificial and recently invented, which means they're currently in a constant state of flux. tone indicators go in and out of fashion all the time, and the "comprehensive lists" are never helpful.

in theory, I appreciate the idea of people going out of their way to clarify what they mean by potentially ambiguous things they post online. if it worked, that would be a really nice thing to do.

however, sometimes I imagine what the internet would be like without them. what if instead of using /s, the expectation was that if you're sarcastic online there's no guarantee that strangers reading your post will know what you meant? what if instead of inventing more and more acronyms to cover every possible potentially confusing situation, we just... expected one another to speak less ambiguously in the first place?

so, I on paper like the idea of tone indicators. I think it's good that some people are trying to be considerate by being extra clear about what they mean by things. but if tone indicators didn't exist, and people who wanted to be considerate in this way instead just made a point of phrasing things more clearly to begin with, I think that would be vastly preferable to even the most well-implemented tone indicator system.

also /pos sucks because there's something deeply and profoundly wrong for an abbreviation that means "I don't mean this as an insult, don't worry" to be spelled the same way as an acronym that's an insult

[clownrecess]

(Tw for ableism, meltdowns, elopement, etc.)

Hi, I am currently in an argument with someone in a comment section because they are saying that autism is not a disability. So I decided that I want to make a post about it, and thoroughly talk about it.

If you do not know me, hello. I am an autistic primarily nonspeaking teenager with mid-high support needs. I'm disabled.

I am honestly very tired of low support needs autistics saying that autism isnt disabling, because it very much is for me and a lot of other people. Just because your experience isnt the same as ours, doesn't cancel out our experience.

I will never live alone. I am a teenager who can not make food, or blow dry his own hair. My ability to use oral speech varies a lot, and when I can use it, I usually end up having severe meltdowns from it. I am in special ed. It hurts when I brush my hair. I have put myself in danger by running into the street. My emotions are extremely strong, so I often seem rude when I'm not, I just can't control the fact that when I feel something it's so incredibly strong that it hurts. I have little to no internal sensation. I could not bathe myself until I was 9 or ten, and even now I will not just go and take a shower myself; I need someone to tell me to, and I need a visual schedule to help me do so. And many more things.

The person's response was to then say that is not because I am autistic, that is because of the way mankind is. That my autism is not disabling, society is. And whilst I do agree that society is horrible to disabled people, and it would be much much easier to exist as a disabled person in this world if society was different, that doesn't change the fact that my autism is disabling. Me being nonspeaking is not because of society. Me being unable to care for myself is not because of society. Most of the things on that list are not because of society!

Just because low support needs people exist, does absolutely not give them the right to speak over us, and tell us what our experiences are or are not.

My autism is disabling. Listen to me. Listen to me. My life has been severely impacted because I am disabled. You can not sit there and tell me that me being unable to care for myself, and unable to live alone ever, isn't disabling, and that it's because of society.

I am disabled. Stop speaking over high support needs autistics.

[libraford]

msbriket You know how they say us autistics see every detail? I just think a lot of people forget what's not important to them personally. What she's really saying is: why won't you let me ignore your wishes like last time so I can forget about them again?

You know, even before I started seeing autistic traits in myself I was confused why autism had such a negative association to it because like:

"takes things literally" is more like... trusting people at their word. Trying to follow instructions accurately. Remembers promises made.

"lacking in certain social tacts" - does their best to speak clearly and concisely. Tries to avoid being misunderstood because they would want the same for themselves.

"doesn't like breaking rules" - rules that are there for our safety are in our best interest to follow!

"has difficulty with changes in routine" - doesn't like being lied to or misguided. Would like instruction to be clear.

Which I have always perceived to be good things. "Concerned about fairness." "Strong moral compass."

Those are good things to have. In fact, you WANT a person like that in most workplaces. A person who tries to follow instructions and remembers things, who tries to speak clearly and truthfully, who understands the rules and asks for confirmations, who tries to make sure things are fair and accessible? Honestly, sounds great.

The problem is that the corporate world is all about lying and placating and bargaining and making false promises and hoping that they'll forget.

And then there's The Gender. Which is another layer of bull. Because the specialist in my field that infodumps during training and lacks tactful criticism techniques in a long unbroken tone is the best in the business, but I get lectured on my tone and body language. He's allowed to talk endlessly on the topic. I'm not allowed to ask questions or request clarification.

That, and some people only really know autism in its forms of nonverbiality, emotional disregulation, and motor control which require assistance and not like... an entire Golden Corral of traits that include those things and more.

Yadda yadda, neurotypicality is a 3 apples 5 apples situation.

[pumpkinspicedmochi]

Being fully verbal/writing in "proper english" doesn't make you "better" or more worth listening to , people seem to refuse to realize this

Apparently this need to be said buttt just because you have "perfect grammar" , pronunciation or whatever ..doesn't make you somehow better than other people. This type of thinking make me legit scared to type if I feel like it won't be perfect or if I will leave out words (when its more comfortable for me or if I'm just overwhelmed and leave out the words to be easier for me) . This kind of like people who think your mouth words mean less because you don't speck the way they do, makes me rather not type or talk because I don't want to deal with that sort of response even sound other autistic people..not everyone is fully verbal like you and not everyone can type like you can and seen a lot of people who have struggles typing , whether they use aac to type or it just feels more natural , low spoons etc . Stop pointing out that someone is "illiterate " or "can't spell" or "has bad grammar" personally I'm none of those things (although my grammar not perfect , and even if I was any of those things..doesn't mean my thoughts don't matter either way) its just pretty sure its connected to my autism and my opinion deserve to be heard even with imperfect speech and typing . Don't always type this way but when I do it should still be heard and my stuttering , repeating words and obvious struggling specking should not make you then disregard what I'm saying and I should not have to feel scared/nervous to talk or type in way that is more comfortable/ in the way my brain actually thinks, stop stop stop using the way people talk/type as an insult or a way to pick on them/a way to disregard their thoughts. You're not "better" because you speak or type "proper" english. I see this type of thinking legit everywhere like just saw it in a discord server but it everywhere.

this also go to my mom since she has taught me that stuttering people or people who don't speak "correctly" don't sound smart and etc and so shouldn't be talking/explaining things/making speeches and it has really negatively affected me.

[hells-wasabii]

If that’s okay, can i request a headcanon with Velvette with a male autistic S/O?

A/N: That is 100% okay! i've said it before and i'll say it again, I freaking love Velvette. I've seriously been loving the requests everyone has been sending in! A little shorter than i would've liked but it's quite late when I'm writing this. I really hope i did this one justice!

Character: Velvette

Type: Headcanons (Velvette x autistic m!reader, General)

Honestly, as much as I hate to say it, at first, she probably wouldn't get it. But that's not to say that she won't try to understand. It's part of who you are, it's not going anywhere, so if she plans to keep you around (which she does), she's going to have to get used to it.

Over time, she does. She actually will go out of her way to help you out if you're ever out and about with her and you get over/under-stimulated.

But that being said. she also won't completely coddle you either. You're your own person, not a helpless child. No matter what, she considers you an equal and will treat you as such. She also won't hesitate to reprimand anyone who treats you otherwise.

If you have sensory issues, especially when with comes to certain types of clothing and material, you'd better believe she's going to make you outfits. She'd do it regardless, but she'll go above and beyond, using fabrics that won't feel ick on your skin. Just say the word and she'll take your measurements if she doesn't already have them.

Velvette would plan an occasional outing or event to surprise you, all centered around your interests. History? Fuck it, she doesn't care for it but she's sure that there's a museum or something of the likes down here in hell.

Speaking of any interests you may hold, Velvette would happily listen to you talk about your interests as she works (says it's almost like listening to a podcast). And if one of those interests includes fashion or clothes design, that's awesome! It'll give her a means to contribute to the conversation better even if she has no idea what the rest of your interest is.

By no means is she perfect, she is in hell for a reason after all, but she will try, for you, and for your relationship.

[astraltrickster]

I want to introduce a disability concept that I've been calling paradoxical stigma.

What is paradoxical stigma? It's the stigma against:

1) The actually disabling traits of a disability that's in the spotlight for the parts of it that are convenient to accommodate, and/or

2) The diagnosis of such a disability itself,

Due to the assumption that the spotlight renders it "destigmatized" and no longer in need of support.

As of right now, at least around this corner of the internet, the most obvious examples of this are autism and ADHD. It's become disturbingly common for people to treat those like Diet Disabilities That Don't Actually Count. It's been really interesting to watch the popular attitude about these disorders shift from "autism is either a tragedy or an excuse depending on 'severity', and ADHD is just a myth used to drug kids into complicity instead of teaching them actual skills", to "actually these are real disorders that affect people in all aspects of their lives", to "I GUESS they're real disorders but honestly EVERYONE has them can't we worry about more SERIOUS ones?" and...not in a good way.

It comes up...partially as a legitimate backlash to people with these disorders who think that invisible disability and/or neurodivergence begins and ends at their experience, and...yeah, that's a problem all right, in fact if I had a dollar for every asshole who looked at my struggles with things like keeping my space clean or not fucking up my medication doses DUE TO ADHD and went "well I have the same diagnosis and I don't have THAT problem to THAT extent, obviously you're just lazy and careless", or saw me having an AUTISTIC meltdown and called it "bullying" or worse because I get loud and insisted that I NEED to CONTROL that CHOSEN BEHAVIOR if I want to not be a Bad Person, or heard about how AUTISTIC overstimulation defense measures play into my trouble with cleaning and insisted that well THEY'RE autistic too and don't have that specific problem so this is clearly weaponized helplessness because I just don't WANT to learn to do better, I'd...probably have a lot more assistive tech. I also get really, really frustrated and upset when people use RSD to mean "if you ever criticize me that's the height of ableism, no matter how much I'm actually fucking up and hurting you" - especially since it's so often invoked as a defense against being lightly criticized for ACTUALLY harmful behavior and as much as it sucks there IS no substitute to make that more emotional-dysregulation-friendly beyond basic kindness in criticism. That attitude exists. It's bad.

And yet, theoretically, I think we could all agree that the response to that should NEVER be to reinvent the old "ugh, those aren't REAL disabilities, those are just EXCUSES that LAZY PARENTS make for kids being kids, what they need is DISCIPLINE" stereotype of the 90s-2000s, just now aimed at those same kids as adults, in ostensibly supportive spaces - or arguably worse, to revert all our understanding of support needs to the externally judged high-functioning/low-functioning dichotomy.

What really sets this apart as paradoxical stigma, rather than just garden-variety lateral ableism, is that 1) we CAN theoretically all agree that reinventing those stereotypes is a terrible response, yet many people do it anyway, and 2) these stereotypes are invoked not only because of that intracommunity misbehavior, but both within and outside of disabled spaces, because of the illusion that you can bring up those disorders and have them taken seriously because fidget toys and stim videos and weighted blankets are popular now. An event having quiet rooms, or backlash to Autism Speaks being visible outside of autistic spaces, will be taken as "proof" that autism stigma is over forever and anyone who complains about it is just a whiner who doesn't know how good they have it...even when what they're complaining about is, say, being barred from migration. Paradoxical stigma is enacted by people who think that they, alone, are standing up against someone who's throwing others under the bus to continue to progress their own limited agenda...when in fact they're speaking a very popular shitty opinion, that MANY of the people making that claim would disagree with HEAVILY once separated from the "crab bucket reflex".

As a personal example, the result is that when I'm looking for assistance, I'm...hesitant to bring up those diagnoses, because I know I'm going to be written off as "obviously a high-functioning low-support needs scammer who just doesn't WANT to CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY and EARN things" - even by people who otherwise agree that people should be allowed to survive even if they truly are the living strawman lazy bum who has nothing wrong with them but just WANTS to lay around eating junk food and doing drugs all day, AND that disability deserves to be respected, isn't black-and-white, and affects everyone differently; somehow when these combine in the context of my diagnoses that have had a very sanitized version of themselves "destigmatized" on TikTok, they cancel out into blatant reactionary sentiment indistinguishable from what I'd hear from my shitty token Republican uncle.

So, that's paradoxical stigma. Feel free to use the term if you find it useful.

[chronicbitchsyndrome]

the thing that allistics talking about social skills never seem to grasp is that i do not SEE body language or facial expressions. i am not some innocent adorably stupid little darling who's never been taught what a frown means and so now i feel like everyone is hostile to me because i'm not participating in the Necessary And Unbiased social ritual that lets everyone know i'm Safe and a Real Person.

no, i spent 10 years regularly attending social skills courses. as in, weekly at minimum, for a lot of it daily. i still cannot read body language or facial expressions because i LITERALLY CANNOT SEE THEM. i am partially faceblind. my visual processing is ganked to the point that even though i am not blind i need to use IDs to understand images. these are VERY common traits in autism, this isn't a special "just me" thing. if someone makes a face at me, i can't SEE it. sometimes i can tell that some of their facial muscles are moving, but i have no idea what they're doing and very little ability to piece together what the end result looks like as a whole picture. sometimes i can see when someone is leaning away from me, or if their whole body is shaking or something, but anything less whole-body and cartoonish than that is literally invisible to me.

allistic social norms are built around treating me as scary and unsafe for not participating in them, and i LITERALLY CANNOT SEE a good portion of what they're based on. the less physical bits--implications and social context, etc--are 10x harder when you essentially can't speak half the language, and that's not even touching on how those parts can be near impossible on their own if you have a slow processing speed--which i also do. it takes me 30-60 seconds minimum to fully process a spoken sentence and understand what the unspoken and nuanced implications of it could be, and by then i have already been slotted into "unsafe creep" territory by being entirely silent for 45 seconds. and i am considered socially adept and to have very fast processing among my autistic peers. my barriers here are MINOR compared to someone very severely socially impaired.

this is why explaining to autistics the purposes of allistic social rules and nuances and giving us tips on how to navigate them is condescending and cruel as hell. you're dangling in our faces how important and necessary and integral it is to do something we literally CAN'T do and implicitly justifying us being seen as dangerous and socially undesirable for not doing it. and you're framing it as helping because you're "teaching" us. but it's like teaching a colorblind person color theory; maybe once in a while someone will be interested, but it'll always be significantly harder for them to learn than someone who isn't colorblind, and their experience with it will always be profoundly qualitatively different and produce different results, even subtly. and their existence doesn't mean that the REST of colorblind people who don't have that energy and time and investment should just put up with literally every road sign being written in red on green when you could just make signs that are black on white to begin with.

[rjalker]

A helpful chart.

[ID: A venn diagram with one circle labled, "Neurodivergent - no neurotypicals allowed", with the inside marked, "Madpunk, Idiotpunk, Neuropunk". The space in the middle of the diagram where the circles overlap is labeled "people who are both". The other circle is labled "Physically disabled - no ablebodied allowed", and is marked, "Cripplepunk". Text below the chart reads: "(Tip: Most people who are physically disabled are also neurodivergent because it's almost impossible to stay neurotypical when faced with the physical and mental trauma of becoming physicall disabled in an accident, medical trauma, and the trauma of being physically disabled in a society that wants you dead.)" End ID.]

Tip: if you wouldn't argue that allistic people should be able to use the "actually autistic" tag because they say, "we're all a little autistic", then you shouldn't argue that ablebodied people should be able to use the "cripplepunk" tag because they say "technically we're all a little physically disabled".

Edit 14 hours later:

If you're going to go "But what about people who are both??" to act like I'm forgetting that people with brain damage exist...

(sarcasm) Congratulations! (/sarcasm)

[ID: A cropped, zoomed version of the image above, with the focus now in the center of the diagram labled "people who are both", with the text now in dark red and motion blurred slightly, with a red lens flare explosion in the center. End ID.]

This is a venn diagram for a reason!

Some things that make you neurodivergent also inherently make you physically disabled! But not all of them do! Which is why this is a venn diagram and not any other sort of chart!

If you have a brain injury, you're both neurodivergent and physically disabled!

If you only have ADHD, you're neurodivergent and ablebodied!

Venn! Diagram!

Edit again October 21st 2023:

If you think that Cripplepunk is "extremely hostile to autistic people" because *ablebodied* autistic people are not allowed in, just fuck off right now! Don't comment! Don't reblog! Don't waste my fucking time! There are so fucking many physically disabled autistic people in Cripplepunk.

Crupplepunk is not "hostile to autistic people" because ablebodied people are not allowed in and are not allowed to speak over physically disabled people. That is not how this fucking works and you are just straight up lying.

And secondly if you are not ablebodied you are physically disabled. If you're physically disabled, then you're not ablebodied.

You cannot have a physical disability and still be able-bodied. That's the sort of shit my ablest mom would say to tell me to stop being so lazy.

And if you're not neurotypical then you are literally by definition neurodivergent.

That is what these words mean. They are in fact mutually exclusive categories.

You choosing not to identify as neurodivergent because of your mental illness that you personally don't consider to be a neurodivergency doesn't mean that mental illnesses aren't neurodivergent. That is not how this works.

Furthermore if you send me anons about "well the brain is a physical organ" I'm just going to block you. I'm not even going to read the rest of your fucking message I'm just going to block you. Yes the brain is a physical organ. No, that does not mean all neurodivergencies are physically disabilities because that is not what those fucking words mean.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

why are autistics without intellectual disability so quick to distance themselves from those who do?

*unbolded version under the cut*

i see this most often in autistics who are (labeled) level 1/"high functioning"/"aspie" (yes i know the three don't always equal one another yes i know hans asperger nazi). this of course happens with all autistics without intellectual disability (ID) but see most with them.

this is largely rhetorical question.

see so many autistics without ID say things like "i'm autistic not STUPID" and get so offended when someone even imply or genuinely ask if they have ID.

"i'm autistic not [r word]," "i'm autistic but not like those kinds of autistic." all implying they're the "good" kind of autistic that deserve respect and rights and there is group of autistic who are "bad" (read: not palatable enough) who should be bullied and denied rights and locked away and mocked. often these are autistics with ID and autistics who are visibly stereotypically autistic who don't have ability to mask.

understand wanting to correct someone when they think wrong information of you, like you thought i have ID but i actually don't, just like you thought i have depression but i actually don't (just example not personal about me). but often when these autistics say "i'm autistic not STUPID" and variants, they often mean more than that. some autistic people without ID get so offended when people think they have ID. so offended at the idea of being associated with ID. like "how DARE you assume i have ID and are like those people."

so quick to separate self from people with ID. like they have the plague or something.

or. sometimes see autistics without ID talk about an autistic person with ID. talk about an "ugly" (unaccepted, not cute symptom) symptom and say "oh that's not the autism that's ID. autistics don't do that." and act as if there is a clear beginning and end to where the autism ends and where the ID begins. there is not.

or when autistic with ID gets mentioned. everyone focus on the autism and not the ID. or think they can speak about said autistic person with ID's experience just because they themselves are also autistic even though they don't have ID.

or "actually many autistic people have above average intelligence!" which is objectively true but 9/10 times this gets brought up to derail the conversation. yes many autistic people have high IQ (online autism space oversaturated with them), but what is left out is there is nothing wrong with having average IQ or low IQ/intellectual disability.

or. when bring up people w ID and/or autistics with ID, will say "IQ is a inaccurate/racist/colonial/ableist measure" and stuff like that. which is objectively also true! or "don't say you're stupid, you're actually very smart, there are many types of intelligence!" but the issue is when you are bringing these topics up. because yes IQ bad measure, intelligence subjective, BUT ALSO current society have specific types of intelligence they value (and this cannot be denied no matter how much you derail the conversation), AND there is nothing wrong with being "not smart" "stupid" "dumb" "unintelligent" etc. there is nothing wrong with having ID. admit that. why are you (general you) having such a hard time admitting that, to the point you will say everything else before admitting to that?

or say "[r word] is slur towards autistic people so i as an autistic person (without ID) are allowed to reclaim it." when no. r word is not slur towards autistic people. just because it has been used against you doesn't mean it means you. r word is an outdated medical term for intellectual disability, aka mental [r word]. not yours.

many many microaggressions (and macro aggressions tbh too)

autistics with ID are one of the more marginalized more vulnerable autistic population, more likely to be in bad conservatorship, more vulnerable to all kinds of abuse, less autonomy, no privacy, seen as completely incompetent, etc. particularly many have carers and are expected to fully trust and be completely vulnerable to other people and have no personal time no privacy.

autistics with intellectual disability are still autistic. they're not going anywhere.

i say this is rhetorical question because largely know why autistics without ID do this. especially level 1/"high functioning"/"aspie." because think are closest population to nondisabled neurotypical society, on the edge of nondisabled neurotypical society, expected to function well but do not. just "normal-looking" enough to be let in but not normal enough to be truly included, to thrive. many trouble. many trauma. and intelligence is one of the few things many feel proud to have feel positive to have. even feel superior to have. so have internalized ableism towards self but also internalized ableism towards intelligence.

BUT. your trauma or autism still don't justify your ableism. you are still responsible of educating self about ID and unpack ableism about intelligence and ID.

your trauma or autism doesn't justify your ableism you're just ableist

...

unbolded:

i see this most often in autistics who are (labeled) level 1/"high functioning"/"aspie" (yes i know the three don't always equal one another yes i know hans asperger nazi). this of course happens with all autistics without intellectual disability (ID) but see most with them.

this is largely rhetorical question.

see so many autistics without ID say things like "i'm autistic not STUPID" and get so offended when someone even imply or genuinely ask if they have ID.

"i'm autistic not [r word]," "i'm autistic but not like those kinds of autistic." all implying they're the "good" kind of autistic that deserve respect and rights and there is group of autistic who are "bad" (read: not palatable enough) who should be bullied and denied rights and locked away and mocked. often these are autistics with ID and autistics who are visibly stereotypically autistic who don't have ability to mask.

understand wanting to correct someone when they think wrong information of you, like you thought i have ID but i actually don't, just like you thought i have depression but i actually don't. but often when these autistics say "i'm autistic not STUPID" and variants, they often mean more than that. some autistic people without ID get so offended when people think they have ID. so offended at the idea of being associated with ID. like "how DARE you assume i have ID and are like those people."

so quick to separate self from people with ID. like they have the plague or something.

or. sometimes see autistics without ID talk about an autistic person with ID. talk about an "ugly" (unaccepted, not cute symptom) symptom and say "oh that's not the autism that's ID. autistics don't do that." and act as if there is a clear beginning and end to where the autism ends and where the ID begins. there is not.

or when autistic with ID gets mentioned. everyone focus on the autism and not the ID. or think they can speak about said autistic person with ID's experience just because they themselves are also autistic even though they don't have ID.

or "actually many autistic people have above average intelligence!" which is objectively true but 9/10 times this gets brought up to derail the conversation. yes many autistic people have high IQ (online autism space oversaturated with them), but what is left out is there is nothing wrong with having average IQ or low IQ/intellectual disability.

or. when bring up people w ID and/or autistics with ID, will say "IQ is a inaccurate/racist/colonial/ableist measure" and stuff like that. which is objectively also true! or "don't say you're stupid, you're actually very smart, there are many types of intelligence!" but the issue is when you are bringing these topics up. because yes IQ bad measure, intelligence subjective, BUT ALSO current society have specific types of intelligence they value (and this cannot be denied no matter how much you derail the conversation), AND there is nothing wrong with being "not smart" "stupid" "dumb" "unintelligent" etc. there is nothing wrong with having ID. admit that. why are you (general you) having such a hard time admitting that, to the point you will say everything else before admitting to that?

or say "[r word] is slur towards autistic people so i as an autistic person (without ID) are allowed to reclaim it." when no. r word is not slur towards autistic people. just because it has been used against you doesn't mean it means you. r word is an outdated medical term for intellectual disability, aka mental [r word]. not yours.

many many microaggressions (and macro aggressions tbh too)

autistics with ID are one of the more marginalized more vulnerable autistic population, more likely to be in conservatorship, more vulnerable to all kinds of abuse, less autonomy, no privacy, seen as completely incompetent, etc. particularly many have carers and are expected to fully trust and be completely vulnerable to other people and have no personal time no privacy.

autistics with intellectual disability are still autistic. they're not going anywhere.

i say this is rhetorical question because largely know why autistics without ID do this. especially level 1/"high functioning"/"aspie." because think are closest population to nondisabled neurotypical society, on the edge of nondisabled neurotypical society, expected to function well but do not. just "normal-looking" enough to be let in but not normal enough to be truly included, to thrive. many trouble. many trauma. and intelligence is one of the few things many feel proud to have feel positive to have. even feel superior to have. so have internalized ableism towards self but also internalized ableism towards intelligence.

BUT. your trauma or autism still don't justify your ableism. you are still responsible of educating self about ID and unpack ableism about intelligence and ID.

your trauma or autism doesn't justify your ableism you're just ableist

[luveline]

hi could i request tasm!peter x autistic!reader? or x miguel, i just got excited when i saw you write for autistic readers i’ve never had that

thank u for ur request!! gentle disclaimer that im not autistic so my frame of ref is based on people i know or what ive read about, please forgive me in case of any inauthenticities <3

Miguel doesn't have much in the way of personal effects, but he has a small glass sphere that rests near one of his monitors in the lab. He occasionally uses it as a paperweight, the milky way inside sparkling in the downtime lighting. 

You're moving it aside to grab up some of his paperwork —to help, he assumes, because you love feeling helpful— when you lose your grip and drop it. It hits the workbench with a sound that makes you cringe, rolling along the bench and over the edge. 

It hits the floor, splintering into a hundred different pieces with an earache-prompting crash. 

Your hands instantly fly to your ears. You take a step back and narrowly avoid splitting open the sole of your shoes on a big chunk of glass.

Miguel's relieved when you don't hurt yourself. Your hands stay cemented to your ears, eyes scrunched closed and shoulders tight, waiting for another sound. He brushes a piece of glass aside and approaches you slowly. 

"You're alright," he says, his fingertips splaying over your elbow. 

You lean forward.

"It's fine. There won't be another loud noise." 

You shake your head side to side but don't speak. Miguel reads it as a correction of his assumption. While he imagines another loud sound would be less than ideal for you, it's not the full reason you've covered your ears. 

Miguel doesn't know what to do, so he guesses. He hooks the leg of a nearby chair with his ankle and yanks it forward to sit you down. That doesn't help (it may even have made things worse). He crouches in front of you.

"What do you need, cariño?" He enthuses his tone with as much softness as it will hold. These days, that isn't a lot, but it's enough for you to peel apart your eyelashes. "Tienes que decirme, ay? You have to tell me." 

"I don't know," you say. 

"Better or worse if I'm touching you?" 

You swallow around nothing. Slowly, you drop your hands to your collar, clenching and unclenching your fists. "It's okay. Sorry, it's not bad." Your hands flop to your lap. "Ah, I smashed your ball. I'm so sorry, I'll get you a new one, I promise." 

"Don't worry about it." 

"But you like it?" you say unsurely.

"I'm a little more worried about you." 

"Why?" You clench your fists again. "Miguel, I know I reacted badly, but I still broke your stuff, you can be mad with me." 

"You didn't react badly," he says. Different than some, sure. He isn't bothered by your response unless you're bothered. He certainly isn't angry about the paperweight.

"You aren't mad?" you ask softly. 

"If I got mad at you for being a dummy I'd be mad all the time." 

"You are mad all the time." 

"Watch it."

Despite what you've said, the loud noise has you unsettled. Your hands continue to clench and unclench, the skin of your knuckles thinning, shaking just a little. Miguel touches your shoulder briefly as he stands, leaving you by the workbench to search the cast iron table that houses the saw. He pulls the drawer forward quietly and grabs the thing he'd been looking for —a pair of noise dampening ear muffs. 

"Would these help?" he asks, offering them to you.

You shake your head even as you take them. "I already heard it, it won't just go away–"

"It doesn't need to go away that fast. Take your time. We'll just sit here." 

You stretch the ear muffs but don't put them on. "I'm really sorry." 

"Don't be stupid," he says. "It's just glass. I can get a new one for five dollars at the pawn shop." 

"You don't look like someone who shops at a pawn shop." 

Miguel takes the ear muffs from you and places them gently over your ears. They don't smother every sound; he's sure you can still hear him as he says, "That's dumb." 

"You're bullying me." 

He puts a finger over his lips. "Quiet." 

You close your eyes, wrap your arms around your waist, and settle down. Your thumbs rub frantically at your elbows for a few minutes until they slow, and your quirked brows relax into a line. You don't rush yourself into feeling better. Miguel wouldn't have it any other way. 

When you're back to a baseline, you rub your face bashfully and point your shoe at the glass covered floor, ear muffs around your neck. "You didn't want to clean it up?" you ask. 

Miguel pretends his attention can't be torn from the blueprints in front of him. He hadn't wanted to make any more noise for you. 

"What, you get to smash it but not clean it?" he asks. He laughs at his own joke. "I have a robot for that." 

You mumble something scornful under your breath and lean over him to grab the paperwork you'd originally intended to complete before your disaster. "Summon the robot. I'll put the defenders back on." 

"You sure?" 

You smile at him gently. "Positive." 

[minniiaa]

Sorry if this seems repetitive but I haven't been active on social media in yearsss

Is it true that there's a lot of lawlu hate on tiktok and Twitter? I'm so confused because there used to be so much love for the ship back in 2017/2018 from my perspective (Amino era).

The short answer: yes and no. Let me start by saying I'm not the best person to answer this since I purely consume on twitter. I made my personal twitter in 2007 like it's everyone I've ever known irl and has nothing to do with shipping or hobbies and I follow approx 0 accounts related to anime, manga, or lawlu. I just looked up lawlu a few times and browsed and suddenly it's my whole fucking timeline and there’s no going back and now I have a lawlu twitter (This makes me very happy).

So if anyone else has an opinion on this that is more in the community, please feel free to comment away. Otherwise, below are my observations.

First off, there IS a ton of love for the ship. Most of what I see is beautiful art (they got the nsfw ayo), memes, fanfics, and headcanons just like tumblr. There are tons of comments of people swooning over these posts, Lawlu IS one of the most popular OP ships after all.

There's just a vocal minority that are very against the concept of shipping and in that subset there are those who are very against Lawlu. There people out there that will literally list accounts to block that ship lawlu or write lawlu DNI in their bios. The same can be said for other ships, it's not just this one it’s any they deem a ‘pro ship’ (problematic ship) and Lawlu is generally considered one of these. Below as is an example:

The biggest issues I’ve seen with Lawlu are the following 1. luffy is aroace and cant be shipped period 2. law groomed luffy and the age gap is gross. IMO I think most of these people are just infantilizing Luffy as some goofy autistic kid that doesn't know what love and sex are when in reality he's very self-aware and happy does not equal stupid. Also he's 19 he’s not underage. He met Law twice when he was 17, one of which was saving his life as a doctor and Luffy was unconscious most of this time. Let's not forget Luffy's a war criminal kicking the asses of people 4x his age in a pirate world, age doesn't really work the same as irl.

BUTTT Not that any of this matters because you can ship whoever the fuck you what because guess what? It's ~fiction~. I could rant about how people can ship whatever the hell they want all day but I'll save my breath for now. (my opinion of course)

Also there are just mentally ill people who enjoy telling others to kys if you like something they like do. Lawlu shippers are just their chosen target demographic. Creators get foul messages in their inboxes, rude comments, just general hater behavior. Twitter is just a firey cesspool and all fandoms have 'fans' who do nothing but hate. We live in an age of negativity where being a hater is the cool thing to do.

HOWEVER, I see more people posting about why those people are wrong and stupid than the actual negative tweets but maybe that's because I actually support the ship and the algorithm sees that. Not sure how twitter works, nor do I want to know about that dumpster fire there's a reason I came over to tumblr.

As for tiktok, I don't really consume a lot of tiktok so I can't speak on it besides seeing cosplayers and cute animations/art. I'll leave that to the tiktok people to look into.

For argument's sake, I went through the lawlu tag and picked some lovely tweets to share with you so you can see the toxicity for yourself. Sadly only 10 images per post but I think you get the point. Thanks for the ask hope this was informative. :)

[the-delta-quadrant]

i'm so fucking tired of the "i'm legally blind without my glasses" crowd.

they insist of labelling themselves as a shitty gatekeepy term and can't even be bothered to do actual research.

there's no such thing as "legally blind without glasses".

"legally blind" doesn't mean "vision is corrected with glasses". legally blind doesn't mean "can't drive without glasses". legally blind doesn't mean "having slightly less vision than 20/20".

legally blind means having a visual acuity of 20/200 (or 6/60 or 10%) or less WITH glasses or another correction.

like bitch, i most likely have less vision than you and not even i would fall under legally blind. shut the fuck up.

these people literally always, always, always end up using their supposed legal blindness to talk over vision impaired folk. they're always like "i'm legally blind but my glasses help me see like everyone else". bitch no. you're sighted and you need to stay in your fucking lane. if your glasses help you see "like everyone else" it sounds like you got 20/20 vision and aren't VI, let alone legally blind, for fuck's sake. yes, the fact that you can't see without glasses makes you disabled. no, you do not get to speak over VI people.

i'm fucking tired of this "legally blind but can see fine with glasses" crowd acting like because they're "legally blind" that they're somehow the authorities on vision impairment. they talk about how vision impairment is an accepted disability because glasses are decently accepted, completely ignoring HOW FUCKING MARGINALISED VI PEOPLE ARE, HOW WE'RE LITERALLY EXCLUDED EVERYWHERE, including probably that conversation because of how inaccessible social media can be to us.

i'm fucking tired of people insisting on using a shitty government disability word that isn't even theirs just to use it to speak over those who are struggling in ways they couldn't even imagine.

i recently saw this autistic person who said they're "legally blind but can see like everyone else with glasses". and they went on to talk about how vision impairment is so much more accepted than autism.

like yeah. yours maybe. because yours consists of wearing glasses and that's it. you have no idea what it's like to have actually low vision.

stop using your privilege to misuse terms and spreading misinfo on a) what legal blindness is and b) how accepted VI people are.

like, this person literally used their fake legally blind status to make a point about autism not being accepted.

THEY COULD HAVE FUCKING DONE THAT WITHOUT THROWING ANOTHER MARGINALISED PEOPLE UNDER THE BUS.

sighted people are gonna see that shit and believe it. and they did! most of the comments were agreeing. there were two other VI people talking about the misinformation. out of 127 comments!!!!!

and wait for it: THEY LITERALLY POSTED A REEL WHERE THEY WERE DRIVING! you are NOT allowed to drive with 20/200 vision. oh wait, you fucking lied about being legally blind

like literally so much of my trauma stems from the LACK OF ACCEPTANCE for my vision impairment. but sure sighted person with glasses, tell me more about how socially acceptable we are!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for reporting my coworker friend to hr for harassing our other coworker friend?

(🥩🦎 to find later)

I (23nb) work at a food service place and always close with the same two people one day of the week, we'll call these people N (20m) and Red (19nb). We all met at work and being closest in age with each other compared to most of the other people there plus having similar-ish interests, we started hanging out with each other outside of work

Red is the kind of person who overshares with people right after meeting them, and N is the kind of person who rarely takes anything seriously and thinks its funny to pretend to be a jerk and bigot (hes the only cis white neurotypical guy at work while red and i are both trans and autistic and I'm black), so Red has shared a lot of their trauma and past with the both of us and N typically uses it to jokingly bully them

Now most of the time Red and I are okay with N's jokes, and we make it clear where our boundaries are and N usually respects this with the exception of a few times we've had to make it very clear where our boundaries are after he's crossed them. But lately N keeps poking at one particular thing of Red's that is especially triggering for them, and this has happened two weeks in a row now. I don't know what this thing is specifically because both times I've been just out of earshot when the topic has been brought up, Ive just been told by Red that it has to do with the worst thing that's ever happened to them.

Both times this has happened Red has, understandably, gotten really upset and angry at N, and N only apologized for it the first time it happened. This week when it happened apparently he only started to make a joke about it but then stopped before he finished it because he thought better of it, but it was still enough for Red to figure out what N was gonna say and be upset about it.

I've tried to explain to N why even if he didn't completely say the joke he was going to make it still hurt Red, but he just sort of threw a tantrum about not understanding why he was getting in trouble for something he didn't say and concluded that it would be better to say it outright if he's going to get in trouble just for thinking it anyways.

I've also tried to convince Red to either just stop joking around with N while at work or report him to our manager or hr themself, but they're standing firm on that it shouldn't even be an issue to begin with and that it wouldn't be if N could learn to think before he speaks.

I'm also convinced that Red would feel bad if they reported N because he's been reported by other coworkers in the past year and everyone we work with including our manager often pokes fun at him to varying degrees of intensity and they might feel bad if he lost his job because they reported him. (Red has a second job somewhere else while this is N's full time job)

My concern is that N is actively making Red feel unsafe and uncomfortable, and I also feel uncomfortable both in knowing that N would carelessly cross our boundaries for the bit and also because of the tense and awkward atmosphere in the workplace that has followed immediately after both times he's done it. I don't want to have to deal with that and I'm pretty sure Red doesn't want to either.

I told N right when I learned that he'd joked about Red's trauma again that he was on strike 2, and i plan on telling N and Red both that i plan to take action if it happens next time i work with both of them.

WIBTA for following through and reporting N? Am I overstepping into a situation I'm barely involved in?

What are these acronyms?

[seapiglet]

hm

I've seen a LOT of shaming going round at the moment, both here and on twitter, of people who are seeking out good omens spoilers, mostly by those who have watched the new episodes in advance. despite what neil and david and michael may have said on the subject, it's rubbing me the wrong way! so I feel the need to make a potentially unpopular post about

✨SPOILERS AND NEURODIVERSITY✨

(and accessibility) 🤚🏼

now I cannot speak for everybody here but as an autistic person with ocd I actually !prefer! being spoiled ahead of time and will frequently read the entire wiki article for a show I'm about to watch (though weirdly CANNOT skip ahead with books?) in order to alleviate anxiety around the unexpected. trust me when I say that knowing what will happen in advance *enhances* the experience for me and I have yet to regret being deliberately spoiled, even when it comes to my absolute favourite things on earth, things I may have been waiting months and months (or in this case years) for. in fact, the longer I've had to wait, the more the feeling of gut-twisting anxiety and uncertainty beds down in my system and makes itself a very unwelcome house guest.

it's all very well insisting that everybody just be patient and ~wait and see~ but for a lot of neurodiverse folks this can be a very unsettling prospect. personally, I don't like surprises! I don't crave the sensation of being shocked by an unforeseen twist! it makes me do a panic! even the thought of it makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.

we're not simply throwing our toys out the pram because we WANT something and we WANT IT NOW (shout out to verruca salt). there is a soothing comfort and stability to predictability that is difficult to explain to somebody who doesn't experience this.

at this point I should mention that OBVIOUSLY not all neurodiverse/autistic/diagnosed-ocd people feel this way but that doesn't negate the fact that a lot of us do and there's not much we can do about it.

I'm aware that everybody's currently moralising about the rightness/wrongness of illicitly distributing and trading nuggets of forbidden information like crack-laced pokemon cards* (surely in this fandom everything should exist in a grey area?) but please don't jump on this as an opportunity to prove who's the most terribly righteous and which of us gets to wear the Super Duper Bestest Fan Neil's Favourite prefect badge for the day. devolving into needless factions and one-upmanship so near to the official airdate does nobody any good.

on another personal note (this is the 👂🏼♿accessibility♿👂🏼bit) I was due to attend one of the screenings and now can't due to the apparent lack of subtitles. pleeeeeaase think of accessibility, amazon. please? some of us have severely messed up ears and/or auditory processing disorders - it's not hurting anybody to have the words up on the screen but it excludes many of us if you don't.

again, if you think it's terrible and wrong to want to be spoiled or to share spoilers you are well within your rights to think that, and of course I encourage anybody who is participating in a bit of blackmarket spoiler dealing to utilise ALL the tags you can think of to keep it secret (keep it safe), or simply leave it to the DMs, but I really don't see the good in shaming others who feel differently.

uhh thank you and good day 🎩

(*hopefully that still scans - my references are as ancient and ephemeral as my knee cartilage)

[autisticlifelessons]

Tips for Autistic Students

I managed to get really good grades both at school and university, but it involved a LOT of emotional anguish. I had this reputation of being really smart and nerdy, but the truth was I had to put in an almost inhumane amount of effort in order to sustain my grades. I lost perspective and sacrificed other aspects of my life - such as building friendships and having experiences - that I'm still catching up with, now.

If I had to do it all again, knowing I'm autistic, there are definitely some things I would change that would have made my life as a student so much more enjoyable. Read on to learn from my mistakes!

Spend time going over the things you aren't so sure on - I wasted a lot of time reading over and over stuff that I could recite off by heart, but to be honest I don't think it made one iota of difference to my grades. I tended to avoid the scary stuff I was struggling with, but with hindsight this would have been a much more productive use of my time. Identify the areas you know you are weaker in, and focus on plugging those gaps in your knowledge rather than aimlessly wading through course materials.

Look after yourself - it's all too easy when you're looking to get good grades to totally overwork yourself. But this can actually be counterproductive as when you are tired/stressed you are actually more likely to make mistakes and underperform. Try making a studying timetable for yourself, and make sure it has a cut off point so you know when to stop. Trust me - grades are not worth burning yourself out over.

Give yourself plenty of time to complete assignments/study for tests and exams - it's very common to hear other people on your course bragging about how the started a essay 2 hours before the deadline and still got an A, but don't listen to them. More than likely they're lying or at least exaggerating, but they are also NOT you. You don't need to compare yourself to anyone else. For most autistic people - even those with executive function issues who are prone to procrastination - having to do things last minute can lead to overwhelm and burnout. A neurotypical person may be able to handle this approach, but for neurodivergent people this strategy could lead to a fallout period where you would need to recover. Starting ahead of time will allow you to pace yourself and ensure you have the chance to ask for help or clarification if necessary.

Try and make a few friends in every class - socialising often doesn't come easy to autistic people, but I promise going to class is much more bearable if you have a least one friendly face to look forward to seeing. Statistically speaking there is a really good chance there is someone else who is neurodivergent, and you likely can relate to each other's experiences more than a neurotypical person's. It also gives you people to arrange to hang out with outside of class, which is how friendships are built and sustained. Just a simple 'good morning' or complimenting someone on their clothes is enough to begin building a rapport.

Pay attention to your sensory needs - it's much easier to concentrate and take in information if you are comfortable. If the sun is in your eyes or if your desk is wobbly, ask if you can switch seats. If having a stim toy in your hand helps you concentrate, do what you need to do to get permisson to use one. Advocating for yourself can be scary, but it makes such a difference to your experience.

Did you find my tips helpful? Let me know!