#i'm still cooking something else

[armordulla]

So my self-indulgent ass found out a song and though. "YES. THE LYRICS ARE PERFECT AND VIBES! ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!"

(Hey Little Songbird- HadesTown)

[somegrumpynerd]

I have too many things I wanna draw I need like 6 weeks off from work and also eating and sleeping

[batsplat]

favorite motogp rivalry not involving any of the aliens ?

you know, the fact that this is so tough shows just how inescapable they've been in the sport. still, I'll give it a shot

you can go several directions here - either stick to the present, or go for stuff this century that's more in the background, or go way way back. I'm reasonably fond of that eighties early nineties period and the varied rivalries they produced between all the anglos... you know, spencer, gardner, lawson, rainey, schwantz, doohan, that lot... (admittedly some haven't massively endeared themselves to me with their post-retirement punditry, but it is ever thus with athletes.) couldn't do that justice here but a few quickfire thoughts

lawson and gardner is one of those fun ones where you have two completely different blokes competing who just fundamentally Did Not Get Each Other at all. gardner was cocky, forthright, brash, whereas lawson was far more reserved, cool-headed, cerebral... and, of course, they didn't didn't just understand each other, they also didn't like each other at all. infamously gardner was not exactly thrilled when his long time rival was signed for honda (gardner's manufacturer) and gardner had to find out by reading the papers

also they shot this safety ad together and apparently didn't speak to each other the entire time, even though they were in close proximity for hours. don't you just desperately want to recreate this with certain riders, hm

anyway, of course there's also rainey and schwantz, probably the one everyone knows... as ever, important they didn't get on and hated to lose each other

all culminated in the dramatic 1993 season, with schwantz determined that it would finally be his year... and it's a classic season, one hears (even if one is unable to judge for oneself), but a title fight with a sad twist when a collision between the two of them at misano ends rainey's career while handing schwantz his only 500cc title. in the end, it also ended schwantz's career, who retired at the end of 1994. of course dorna promised they'd never go to misano again, which they stuck to for a full fourteen years

then again, arguably the vibes were a bit too good back then between riders, like what's all this then (from schwantz)

actually, I suppose none of those were technically 'motogp' rivalries, but. same difference. there's a few in the years after... I do find the whole 1998 250cc season deeply compelling, but it also would feel like cheating because what makes the harada/capirossi thing so fun is that valentino is there acting as the third man. very much the dynamics between all three of them that are so great. plenty of spats in the years after that, but something like dovi/iannone is more just good fun than a proper 'rivalry'. you do generally need some proper development for a real rivalry, and the aliens just monopolise so much attention this century. so you do basically have to fast forward to... well, the last few years, where the most notable ones have been pecco/fabio and pecco/jorge martin

now I do like pecco/fabio conceptually - it's interesting to have this rivalry between two guys who were being moulded into being the marc challengers by their respective manufacturers and then to have had marc suddenly disappear on them. the way it suddenly thrust fabio into the spotlight, how it put all these expectations and pressures on him and essentially made him title favourite overnight... vs how pecco is the closest motogp has had to a dominant force in the post prime!marc era and is constantly uneasily grappling with that legacy. you've got all this uncertainty and insecurity and asterisks and the shadow cast by the greats (who haven't even had the decency to go away completely), the weight of those legacies... also, two kinda funny title fights, if odd ones (especially '22 lol). main problem is that their wildly contrasting fortunes whenever they were title rivals mean they've managed to avoid actually fighting each other on-track. insanely frustrating and the real asterisk for this rivalry

pecco/martin has been strong stuff, yeah. super contrasting personalities, such visibly different riding styles, and considerably more material when it comes to on-track battles than pecco/fabio (still more work to be done though). that intra-manufacturer arc has been fun to follow, this stand-off between ducati's golden boy and the challenger with the eternal underdog mindset. both have a tendency to feel like the world's against them (which is a trait many riders share, sports is such a wonderful breeding ground for victimisation complexes), both are so incredibly unreliable. both rather volatile in their own ways, both battling their own insecurities. also, it doesn't hurt that they've got a bit of shared history as teammates back in the day. would've been interesting to see them as teammates in motogp, curious how jorge reacts to this latest twist... the needle between them has been fun, especially the silly valencia stuff, though I wouldn't mind some more openly hostilities between the pair of them - and I do feel like marc's reemergence has inevitably ensured the two of them are paying less attention to each other. even martin's grand big fuck ducati thing is now more about being rejected in favour of marc than about pecco getting preferential treatment. still, they've got time, could give us plenty more to work with

which is my favourite of those? I don't know... the tricky thing about the older rivalries is that I believe very strongly in evaluating rivalries by actually watching their competitive output and there's only so much of them I can watch. I guess by process of elimination it's currently pecco/martin? for a hot second there I suppose pecco/bez looked like it could be quite interesting, but they didn't really fight for the title and remained friendly so. whatever. it'd be nice if everyone else picked up the slack some time soon

[lonely--seeker]

I think I'm going insane. Lately my dreams have been so mundane, it wouldn't be weird if I wasn't just a person that has nightmares 80% of the time, so I now my dreams are so hard to distinguish from reality.

I wouldn't be able tell what was real from what not if it wasn't because last night I went to my doctor's appointment and I was handed new glasses by Harvey just to go back home and find out Laois was cooking something in my backyard.

[gonersgoners]

remember when i said over a year ago that vegapunk's arc would start revealing even more of sanji's power and potential and how hard that was worrying me? yeah

[dracomeir]

My aroace soul in a droid P.I.C.O. :D I can't draw him without the illusory layer, so just imagine like a terminator esque body under the human illusion.

[no-where-new-hero]

i've been contentedly pot-boiling for most of this year and accepting the fact that now is just not the time for novels, but last night i actually had an idea for something long-form again, maybe this will be the thing that turns me around?

[demonsfate]

OKAY... JUN'S WIKI PAGE UPDATED AND THERE'S NEW REASON AS TO WHY SHE'S BAD AT COOKING. i thought it was because she was never taught how to cook because her parents were more concerned with her learning how to fight, and her status as being "the chosen one".

but no. apparently her reason of being a bad cook is because...

she's afraid her cooking will affect climate change??????????

[honeysuckle-venom]

It should be illegal to still be hungry after eating a meal

[fraye-complex]

Back to hating my Pristiq

What the fuck do you mean I might be able to cum 2-3 times a day if I'm lucky and hurt my fucking hand???

This is hell

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 5

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Not much, I had to run errands most of the day and also felt incredibly tired, probably because the cats woke me up like 4 times last night begging for food and things. Overly warm and headachey a lot.

I planted a few new flowers, and pressed more flowers and clovers in my Large Sturdy Flower Pressing Book as well.

Actually worked on translating the text for the previously mentioned tapestry/painting thing. I think I've decided that it doesn't really matter very much, because nobody else even knows anything about this conlang except for me, so they won't know if it's wrong lol.. It is not entirely completed after all (complete enough to translate most simple sentences into consistently, but also there are a few spots here and there where I haven't fully worked out the way some part of speech actually functions or etc., or I wrote down one thing that later contradicts something else, so occasionally I reach a sentence that I'm not sure exactly which rule to follow to translate, and I need to do a larger comprehensive organization of the document to work out all the kinks and declare officially like 'THIS is the ONE way this is done' etc. etc.) - so because of that, I think I'll just kind of 'do my best' and if the rules now end up changing in the future as I further work on the language, then, that's fine, because nobody can read it anyway lol. Kind of like that song on my side music youtube that's sung in genuine Avirrekava lyrics but also I wrote them years ago and some of the sentences have now become outdated/invalid.

Washed and cleaned some kale so it will be dry for me to maybe make silly kale chips tomorrow.

Final proofreading + posting of the poll adventure thing.

eughh,, literally nothing else.. I hate running errands because it always makes me feel drained and sick after, plus I get nothing else done all day except for just going places. I know checking my p.o. box and picking up cat food and stuff is technically still a productive action, but it just feels like.. i should be getting all of my long term projects done instead lol.. what about the videos?? or worldbuilding?? what does grocery shopping have to do with elves??!?! >:V (aside from pretending to be a group of fantasy creatures evaluating produce having an imaginary conversation with yourself at the store ghghj,, but that is not productive either lol)

Notable sights: Found 13 four leaf clovers, and 2 five leaf clovers, though one of them is almost a 6 leaf (like one of the leaves is nearly split all the way into a sort of heart shape, just not entirely). Also two of the clovers are HUGE, probably the biggest 4 leaf clovers I've ever collected, like 2 inches across maybe. The sky was very pretty a lot with big fluffy white clouds. Not a 'sight' really, but I got to sit in air conditioning for a little while today and it was very nice. I love the cold crisp kind of stale air smell, like walking into a freezer or something (which I used to do when I was a kid, I would sneak into a walk-in freezer at a school cafeteria and just sit there for a while lol), it's comforting to me.

Goals moving forward: Consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Had a bit of smoked gouda and green onions in my Mandated Completely Plain Flavorless Grits For Breakfast this morning, as a littol treat lol.. Tried a 'biscoff' ice cream bar, which is generally a flavor profile I like, but I think I would usually rather be eating a cookie than having ice cream. Also an Ensure nutritional drink, which I know most people consider gross but I genuinely like them.. maybe it's like a source of comfort when my stomach is too sick to eat, like 'oh well at least I can have this cold smooth textured chalky chocolate thing' lol.

Sort of like how I have positive conditioning to feel safe/comfortable in bathrooms (due to it usually being one of the only places you can safely retreat from a social situation or get out of crowds in public areas, etc.), even though rationally I have no particular reason to like bathrooms much, and most people dislike public bathrooms especially. Fellow public bathroom and ensure nutritional shake lovers unite! (3 of us in the entire world)

[veshialles]

I just have a suspicious feeling that today is going to be kind of a shit show

[genekies]

screaming, tearing my hair out, sobbing face down on my bed

[parakeetpark]

Uh oh. Essay in readmore time

What's so frustrating is that for almost all of my life I didn't know I had adhd, and only found it out 5ish years ago

During ALL of my studies i was intensely freaked out and even when i got a grip on some of my mental health shit at uni, importantly I was still unaware of the adhd. And only had some professional tell me about their suspicion about it AFTER I could have received any support in my schooling.

And I have been working damn hard over the last half a decade to learn about myself and the way I work, and be kind to myself and open minded, and learnt from many many different people with adhd how they function - especially through advice on here bc much of Google is shit, and learnt what does and doesn't work for my personally.

I slowly unravelled and found myself. To a point where I'm actually functional and content in myself.

So now i find myself in the most intense, stressful period of my life since then. Grieving and finally understanding what people meant when they spoke about grieving a very close loved one. How nothing feels real even.

And I've found myself so extremely wired from having to do a very vast array of tasks all crammed into a short space of time with a close deadline - exactly the same conditions as during my studies.......... where nothing ever helped.

Yet. In the last thirty minutes I've unwound because I instinctively KNEW what to do. I found myself following all the things i taught myself about my adhd, and now I'm like 70% more chill???? Huh?????? Noticed suddenly that I've been using my ADHD self knowledge for the past few weeks and coped remarkably well because of it.

It's shocking because imagine what i could have done if I had ANY help with my adhd EVER in my life from the adults who were supposed to notice in my entire childhood. Like HUHHHHHH, I am shocked. Imagine how I'm here as an adult using 5 years of learning adhd related advice and stuff I learnt through self awareness .... and feeling better.

SHOCKING!!!!

PS - long ass tags that immediately ramble away from my initial post and go into something positive and that made me feel fluffy inside. You've been warned

[tofixtheshadows]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.

Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.

Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.

Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.

I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.

He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).

First, we get this:

Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.

They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.

It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.

We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.

What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?

He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.

In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.

Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!

...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.

Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.

And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.

I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.

And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.

Meals are the privilege of the living.

[rose-tinted-nostalgia]

.