#i'm the best student my piano teacher has

[pinkanonhopes]

i had a sub for piano today and i already knew him and remembers me as "the really good pianist" so. that's very nice :)

[fatgumxreader]

inspiration (fatgum x Gourmet chef! reader)

Hello every one! It’s been a long time hasn’t it? I’m sorry I fell off the face of the earth for a few years. I hope you can forgive me! I had a lot happen to me in that time. Thankfully my luck has turned around (hopefully ´ཀ`」 )

prompt: Chef reader After graduating in the top spot, she travels the world and finds herself at her nephew's school and in love with her middle school best friend, taishiro.

reader: female

quirk: The ability to communicate through food, and to translate any work including plays, poems, or operas into meals.

hero?: no traveling chef

You looked at the letter in your hand, “UA huh? I guess I can do that.” Grinning thinking of your nephew Eijiro, pulling out your phone you called him. “Hello? Eijiro?”

Kirishima looked at his phone before putting it back to his ear, “Auntie (y/n)?”

You laughed “You know it! I'm back in Japan and I want to see you!”

“What about Mom?” he smiled at the thought of seeing his aunt again.

“I'm going to visit her right now but I'm going to be staying close to UA!” you chuckled into the phone again.

Shocked to hear that from you he spoke “Oh well, I can get the clearance for you to visit me at school! I'm sure they'll be happy to host you. Plus, the students are planning a thank-you get-together for the heroes that took us under their wings.”

“Is that an invitation Eijiro?” you teased him. Giving you the date and location you smiled. As you hung up you laughed mischievously “Wait till he finds out I'm the one cooking at the event.” glancing over the letter again Momo Yaoyorozu signed at the bottom of it.

With your knifes case in hand and chef uniform on, you walked through the gates. Making your way toward the dorms, when you found your nephew’s, you knocked. The door opened with Kirishima and Momo on the other side. You smiled and hugged your nephew, “look how big you've gotten!”

Turning towards Momo, you smiled. “Thank you for thinking of me when deciding Momo! How are your mom and dad?”

You were shown towards the kitchen after greeting the herd of teens and their homeroom teacher. The open kitchen allowed you to talk to the students and heroes. Placing your knives down, you inspected the ingredients you had ordered and shipped beforehand. Speaking to the students that came and went, you got to work. Kirishima and part of his friend group, plus a few others, listened to you talking. A few heroes showed up gradually.

Meeting them all with a smile, a single hero catching your eye Kirishima greeted him, “Oh! Fatgum! You're here!”

“Hello, Kirishima!” the large man walked toward Kirishima and the kitchen. He seemed familiar to you, but you couldn't place your finger on it. You looked down at what you were doing, activating your quirk; your hands and eyes glowed slightly.

Fatgum looked at you, he didn't think he would ever see you again, but there you were. Just as cute as you were when he left you at the train station to go to high school. He knew you would be getting on a separate train as you. You were going the other way. In your new high school uniform and knife set in hand, you waved goodbye vigorously. Shouting till you saw him stick his head back in the train.

He meant to call you back, but you both just got so busy you both stopped trying after a certain point. Now look at you. He felt so proud his middle school friend was living her dream. He realized shortly that you wouldn't recognize him due to his hero outfit and name. He hadn't gotten to tell you his name or even show you his outfit.

You pushed plates out at magnificent speeds. Once everyone had a dish, you made your way around. Talking to people and seeing how they were doing, once your quirk activation hit them, it was almost impossible to speak to them. Music played in their head as they ate. They felt the music in their bones. The soft piano played, and you talked to Kirishima and Fatgum.

One thing that Kirishima noticed was that you didn't ask a single table how their food was. You knew they were enjoying it, and if they were fellow chefs, you would have been a very intimidating person. You returned to the kitchen to clean up the few dishes you had left.

Soon Fatgum joined you, he insisted on helping you, and you tried to decline, but he still helped you. You smiled and talked with him, and soon everything was clean, just like how you showed up to the kitchen.

“Hey did you go to Esuha city middle school?”

He looked at you and nodded, “Yeah, I did.”

“Hm maybe I knew you in passing but you seem very familiar,” you thought deeply.

He chuckled at you slightly, “I think we maybe had the same class one year.”

You looked over him once again. Then Kirishima interrupted, “Hey Auntie! You said you were staying close by right?”

You turned to him, “huh? Oh yeah, I am!”

“Do you need someone to walk you to the hotel?”

You shook your head. “No, it's okay! I’ll be fine on my own!”

Kirishima hesitated, “are you sure?”

You nodded again, “ill be fine.”

Fatgum butted into the conversation, “I can walk you since I'm heading out now too.”

Sighing, you gave in, “Okay, one of you guys can walk me back.” you turned to your knife case and started putting them back carefully.

Kirishima glanced over to Fatgum. He was silently waving; he would take you. Kirishima picked up on what Fatgum was doing and played it off as smoothly as possible.

“Well, since Fatgums is leaving already, he can take you; I forgot the dorms have a curfew!” he laughed nervously. You looked at your nephew, “Oh man. That blows, but it makes sense.”

Walking out the front door, you waved bye to the other students and lingering heroes. “I think I figured out who you are.” you turned to Fatgum, smiling as he took your knife case. You clasped your hands together. “Is the name,” you glance around, making sure no one was listening, whispered into his ear as he leaned down, “Taishiro Toyomitsu?”

He smiled, “Bingo!”

You pouted, “Why didn't you tell me right off the bat?!”

He laughed a bit, “I didn't want you to shout my name out in surprise.”

You pouted slightly, knowing he was right. You guys talked and talked, making it to your hotel. You placed your business card in his hand and asked him to lean down. Meeting your ask, you kissed him on the cheek, and his checks erupted a blush.

“I would like to see you again, Fatgum,” you hesitated, “maybe like a date?”

“I'd like that too (y/n),” he held the card tighter as you walked into the hotel. Looking down at the card again he blushed again.

After making plans, you met up at the nearby festival, the chattering was loud, and the people were lively. You stood on the edge of the festival, looking around for Taishiro. Then hearing a few footsteps, a group of men approached you. Nervously you tried to shoo them away.

They got more pushy, and then you were pulled into another body. Tensing, you flinched and looked up. Taishiro had an upset face. “She said she wasn't interested, guys.”

They looked at the towering man. Taishiro was in his skinny form to avoid getting recognized. You blushed, thinking, ‘I’m blushing like a high school girl what the hell!’

They took off and disappeared into the crowd. Taishiro let go of you, touching the back of his neck, and apologized, “Sorry, I couldn't think of something else without startling you too much.”

You looked away, “It's okay. I appreciated the help.” walking down, he looked at your hand and grasped it softly.

“I hope this is okay,” he looked at you. You nodded, “Yeah it is.”

You both stopped at some food stands and ate a variety of foods. When the fireworks started, you and Taishiro made your way up to the hill. It was secluded and quiet, “hey (y/n)?” both of you sitting on the blanket you brought.

“Hm?” you looked at him with the green candy in your mouth. The loud banging of the fireworks was hard to Hear over, but you could read taishiros lips.

“I'm sorry I never called you during highschool. I've loved you since middle school.” taishiro looked at your lips and your blushing cheeks. And gently pulled your face in, “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

You nodded, “Yes.”

He pulled you close and softly. The kiss was like lightning, and it was sweet. Getting into the kiss more profoundly, you didn't even realize that he stole the candy in your mouth. Pulling away, you breathed lightly.

He chuckled at your blush, “This candy is good.”

You smiled again and sighed “that's no fair its my candy.”

“I'm sorry that wasn't very hero-like of me,” he pulled you back in and kissed you again. Pushing the candy back into your mouth.

“I love you too, taishiro. I'm sorry I didn't call either,” you looked at him.

[kellywrinters]

Mikage Reo x pianist reader!

Her fingers fluttered over the piano keys, in a harmonious and sweet melody that made her body shiver in ecstasy at the improvement of her skills.

Living in a preparatory space where you should always show improvement in all activities that were proposed was frustrating to say the least and you were just a stubborn person who entered with effort and skill as you would expect, covered by thousands of people with high status and money to buy a football stadium just for fun.

─ your piano skills have improved a lot, maybe you will join the elite of musicians in the future ─ one of the teachers responsible for guiding the students said.

─ I don't want to get in the middle of those people meditates

─ you are one of the best pianists, it is inevitable, and if you weren't looking for recognition, why did you enter this school at all?

It was frustrating, walking down the huge corridor of the club area, while looking at your little notebook with musical notes and wondering why the hell did I come here at all?

Mikage Reo was running down the hall looking at the clock on his cell phone, late for warm up!

Paying no attention to the path until the shock of something colliding with him woke him up.

─ what the hell ─ he shuts up, in front of him a dark haired woman he didn't know what to say, exuberant and beautiful, were the only things he could think of.

─ how annoying how the hell did that happen? ─ you reached for your notebook, grabbing some sheets of sheet music, purple eyes chasing your movements, Reo was paralyzed.

─ if you are unable to speak get out of my face, just get out of here ─ fury flared in his eyes, he happened to be mocking you, that guy had done it on purpose, it was the fifth time his sheet music notebook had been dropped on the floor, and fed up with that snobbish attitude was a fraction of what you felt.

─ sorry... I didn't see you

─ yes yes, take your cell phone and disappear ok?

─ music club? Are you from the music club? Which family do you belong to? ─ an arched eyebrow was her reaction, that guy was actually making out with you.

Annoying.

─ It's none of your business whether I'm in the music club or not, and else I got in here on my merit and not some rich kid's money.

Extremely his type was what Reo thought 'call me rich boy again cocky girl' was what he almost blurted out.

You grabbed his cell phone across the hall, screen cracked but held it up to him, mikage didn't move to pick it up for 10 seconds.

─ I could just buy another one, no need to take it ─ you scoffed ready to drop the device on the floor before you felt his fingers touching yours.

He smiled as he approached, took the device and bowed, closing the distance between you.

─ what's your name arrogant girl? ─ he said almost like a whisper as if trying to seduce you. Absolutely annoying

─ it's none of your business, move away already ─ he moved a little closer.

─ my name is mikage Reo, from the mikage family but for you he's a rich boy, nice to meet you ─ the same hand you extended to him was pulled away and looking into your eyes he let go of your hand.

─ are you that mikage Reo? The cocky one in the next room who's on the football team? ─ he remembered the training and nervously hurried out. waved at you as he ran, not that you would wave back but he did anyway.

He would absolutely try to find it again, and try to get closer.

Reo has always had his life controlled by the force of money, everyone watched his every step, their conversations whenever they knew about his last name were related to business, having only one friend Nagi, he never needed to beg, he never needed to want, because everything was his, the constant flattery of his classmates, the girls at school, it was all boring.

A pretty girl who has guts he thought, maybe school wasn't just about football now.

Because now he's curious about the cocky girl in the next room and you've become his prey, something he'll have even if he has to beg because this man is absolutely good at being Insistent.

[fruit-sy]

jjk s1 and s2 spoilers

caught up to the jjk anime this week and damn, hits hard

Animation is stellar, the characters are really fun, there's themes that really hit me hard and godamn the ending of jjk 0 actually made me cry, like tears were shed. I understood why my brother loved the movie lmao

but rn there's one man on my mind. Gojo fucking satoru

Gojo Satoru is just, wow, what hasn't been said about him? He's certainly a showstopper alright, I know Itadori's the protagonist but my eyes were on Gojo the entire time, season 2 personally was even more exciting with that in mind.

I haven't really had the time to do a deep dive on him, but I do have some thoughts... First, yeah he's hot asf I'll give him that (those eyes of his are on my mind and they won't leave me alone, also props to the english dub for the absolutely feral lines)

but the progression of him as a person is also really fun to see. I'm especially interested in him maturing from this arrogant and individualistic person at the beginning of season 2 to... well, still being that but also becoming a mentor to other people.

Like, that's such a huge step for me because contrary to what his pride tells him, he's come to realize he can't do it alone (I mean, he can at the moment but it's more realistic to try and personally raise these youth with potential so that they may bring about a powerful new generation)

The line about education really hit me and I kept thinking about it these last couple of days. He wants to bring change, but if he's the only one humanity has to rely on, he'll run himself ragged. And so, he takes the time and patience to grow these little seedlings, watch them get more powerful but also watch as they may fail along the journey. Even though he's become a teacher, he's not soft on them at all. It's a fact that if they're unable to keep up with him, they will get left behind. Whether that be in skill, or death.

Other than to raise more powerful sorcerers, I can't help but feel this also comes from a place of loneliness, because Geto left him.

I wonder, how much it will hurt to see his students fall? Because although they are improving at a fast rate, can they really keep up with The Gojo Satoru? Or will they against all odds, with his full support, be able to carry on when he's gone? Despite the uncertainty, he continues to teach.

Though the goal is daunting, seeing him wake up to his students and smiling brought such a warm feeling to my chest, it was so sweet.

Also love how unhinged he can get, like characters who do the manic smile thing never ceases to make me giggle excitedly (Nobara and Fushiguro also knocked it out of the park in that aspect, extremely hyped when they went completely off the hinge and kicked ass).

However, there's one scene that absolutely left me in awe. A beautiful mixture of music and imagery that sent shivers up my body every time I watch it. A scene in which he's shown being a mixture of unhinged, yet so at "peace". The juxtaposition is absolutely beautiful to see.

Fighting against toji, where he was high off his epiphany, he had an inner monologue so quiet, so relaxed and detached from how he usually is, coupled with the same piano tune that accompanied the scenes with him, Riko and Geto in the background. My breath was taken away, my eyes were glued to the screen in awe as the music crescendo-ed, and I couldn't help but think "he's beautiful" splattered in blood, bathed in sunlight and eyes glowing with the most vibrant blue.

After the dust had settled, the three of them lost something that day. Riko lost her life, Gojo started to lose his best friend, and Geto started to lose his moral compass and ideals.

The piano music was called "一緒なら" or "If I am with you/together". I wonder why? Perhaps the first time, it was from Riko's POV, as she, Gojo, Geto and Kuroi were sightseeing for the very last time.

The second time, although Gojo seemed detached from Riko's death, perhaps he genuinely cared for her, so much that he'd mourn in his own way.

The arc started with Gojo carrying Riko in his arms

The arc ended with Gojo holding Riko's dead body as the crowd celebrated her death.

He started to lose it, even asking Geto if he should kill all of them. Funny how the tables have turned.

[nightofnyx8]

Thank you for tagging me @roseofbattles!

Greatest Hits of 2023

1. I got my first real job as a teacher! After about 100 applications and thirty or so failed interviews (that was fun eight months of doubting everything about myself), I was finally hired on as the choir and orchestra teacher at a nearby middle school. It has been such a whirlwind (especially seeing as I only took about six weeks of string essentials in college), and I have spent many long days crying at my desk after school. But oh, how I love my kids. They drive me crazy and crack the weirdest jokes and amaze me all at the same time. It's been a lot trying to breathe life into a dying program and I get a lot of pushback from kids who just want to sing pop karaoke all day, but they've grown so much in just one semester. It's crazy exhausting but I honestly would never want to do anything else. <3

2. Reading-I've fallen in love with audiobooks and reading real books again! I've gotten to read a variety of genres and I really feel like it's improved my writing. My favorite this year would probably have to be Eye of the Needle by Ken Follet (thanks to @puolain for the recommendation). I'm currently working through The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy and Red Sparrow by Jason Matthews.

3. Travel- I had the opportunity to go to NYC for the first time ever and met some really wonderful friends! I really haven't been able to go anywhere else, but my husband and I are saving up to go to Spain in the coming months!

4. Writing-I've been delving more into chaptered fics as opposed to one-shots, and I'm been enjoying it! It takes a lot more planning and dedication, but that urge to write an original work someday is always on the back of my mind. We'll see :)

5. Piano-I've never been the best pianist, but this year has given me time to really go from the plateau I've been stuck on for the last five years and I finally feel like I'm making some progress again. I'm excited to actually start accompanying my choirs instead of faking it with block chords most of the time.

6. I've really built up my private voice studio this year and it's growing quite nicely. It's kind of fun to teach middle schoolers during the day and then private high schoolers in the afternoon.

7. I was invited to join a semi-professional choir by a few of my colleagues, and it's been such a joy! We've gotten to sing at some beautiful cathedrals and were invited to sing at our state's choral festival alongside some collegiate choirs. Next season's looking to be pretty busy, and the first year we'll be paid to sing!

8. I had to do a lot of first-time "grown-up" things this year (apply for insurance and retirement, bought a new car, first time with a salary-based job, etc), and while part of me longs for that safety net of college, it's exciting to actually start my career and begin the next stage of my life.

9. I've been Journaling a lot more this year! It really helps me get my thoughts out at the end of the day.

10. My husband and I will be celebrating our three-year annivesary in May. He is such a nerd and likes to take me on walks to see exposed infrastructure, but he is such a good man and I'm excited to see where life takes us next.

Bonus: I'm hoping to really be kind to myself and my students in 2024. Being a new teacher is very overwhelming, especially as I'm the youngest teacher in the school and it's been hard not to beat myself up over every bad day. But next year also holds the promise of always learning something new and sharing it with the people I love <3

tagging @whateversawesome @klainelynch @neejmorp @puolain @wondrousmay and whoever else wants to do it <3

[nnothingnesss]

Soft Jazz (Short Story)

Mayeda Yoko is a retired music teacher who reunites with a former student, Fujiwara Jin, at a jazz bar. A somber and sublime meeting of the minds.

It's a cold and rainy night. I found myself rotting in a corner to the soft jazz of Ryo Fukui. I loved his music. The band playing tonight covered My Foolish Heart. I felt myself dissolving into my chair to the tune, my stomach filled with a Japanese cocktail from my now-empty coupe glass. I always found the Japanese cocktail the symbol of irony. The recipe is American. The ice sphere living in it was busy melting. Just like me. I waited patiently for nothing to come, allowing time passage even as it felt still and frozen. The strings of the piano keys vibrated, the light crashing of a single cymbal echoed. The shuffling of beaded instruments, the tapping of a musicians black leather shoes. I closed my eyes and saw the scene with my ears. Felt with them, the slow jazz music slip into me.

I'm at a bar in Kichijoji. It's almost midnight. I always come to this same bar, at the same time, sitting alone. I didn't mind it, the music held me spellbound and was pleasurable beyond morals. It's an embrace from life I shouldn't be welcoming so readily. And yet, I'd give all my worldly possessions to keep the sun away. To relish in this tranquility with open arms, nothing else felt quite as touching as that. I could close my eyes and feel my intoxication. But all I'd hear was the slow pensive music fill the air and hold my weary heart. Music I loved but would never play myself. Not anymore.

I walk under the low black ceiling, the vents and conditioning exposed, to the bartender and ask him to refill my thirsty glass. The Japanese cocktail. My courage of choice. He lifts a gorgeous bottle of cognac into the air before mixing it with a equally impressive brandy. He finishes with the orgeat syrup before the bitters and garnishes with a lemon peel. He slides my coupe glass back to me over the counter. Oh, lovely irony. The opaque orange color of the drink aroused my senses.

"Come again," he says.

The bar's name is Always. A niche name. Very subtle and very decadent place. The culture here was far more rich than the menu or architecture. It was a very popular spot and on a Saturday night, I'd expect no less than a fully crowded room. As I'm working my way through the sea of people I tap a young gentleman on the shoulder from behind to politely ask for passage. He stands to the side with sudden awareness and bows. I bow to pass him and stride towards my dim corner of the brick wall. The dim light of exposed bulbs dangling from thin cords brought light to my maturely face, a face that I can tell the young gentleman suddenly recognized. His eyes hover over me, dissecting me, as I look at the band taking my seat hoping he'll just look away. Instead, the opposite. He approaches me in casual urgency.

"Mayeda-sensei? Holy shit," he says after walking up to me. "What're you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, have we met?" I say bewilderedly.

"Ah," he bows once more, deeply this time. "Fujiwara, from Music Theory. It's been awhile."

"Fujiwara?"

"Jin," he says straightening his posture.

"I'm sorry, it doesn't ring any bells,"

"I played saxophone, back when Inoue was piano," out of the blue, my memory resurfaces.

"Oh god, it has been a while huh? You're so grown now. I'd never even recognize you."

"Yeah. I said I wanted to be a jazz composer but I forgot how to even hold an instrument." he laughs at himself.

"You stopped playing?"

"Yeah. Things didn't work out how I thought they would. That's life I'm learning."

"I understand. It's okay. I stopped too." I take a sip of my cocktail but Fujiwara-san seems genuinely shocked to hear that.

"There's no way. I can't believe that." I chuckle at his overreaction.

"There is still so much left to learn Fujiwara-kun." The piano dramatically flitters between keys.

"But you were the best at Seikei."

"Well, you know how it was. Only a matter of time." I say. He quietened down into a deep pondering. "Fujiwara-san, don't worry. I'm okay."

"It's not fair. You didn't deserve it. You were a good teacher."

"Thank you. But it's fine, really." I give him a disarming smile.

"I'm glad you left then. I'm so sorry they treated you that way. I never liked it."

"I know. Neither did I. Life has been so much better since I left so I can't complain."

It had been nearly a decade since I considered my days teaching Music Theory. I didn't really think about it much. I had been so much happier not thinking about it, or playing music, I suppose I never bothered to. I simply loved to enjoy it and that was my hot milk and honey.

"Why'd you finally quit?" and like that, I was forced to think about it.

"Well," I look down at my arm. "The senior kids, they were goofing around and..." I hold it with my hand. "they pushed me down a flight of stairs. It broke my playing arm."

The vivid image, a 29-year-old Yoko falling down the stairs. Tumbling into the wall while rolling onto a fallen heel and broken arm. The kids were dead silent before rushing down the flight to help me. A stark contrast to the earlier laughter and joy coursing through their adolescence. They didn't mean to push me down, they were just horse-playing around the top of the stairs when I told them to stop. Of course, as usual, they didn't want to listen. I intervened and, as I should of expected, they weren't going to take me seriously. They started shoving each-other into me and eventually I tripped in my heels. Before I knew it, the cold hard tiles pressed against my skin were contrasting the warm pins and needles sensation in my arm.

"That's beyond fucked. Even for Ryuji and his gang," Fujiwara shakes his head in disgust.

"It's okay Fujiwara-kun, don't be angry. We're all grown now. Look at me, I'm so old." I laugh.

"But you used to love playing music. You looked so happy."

"I know, I feel like it was a sign, and that's okay. I still love music."

"It was a sign, maybe, or you could start again. Just yourself. I'll even play with you."

The music comes to a climactic stop and a short silence invokes before everyone begins an encore. The band bows profusely and apologize but packs their beautiful instruments opting for an end to the night. They played Ryo Fukui beautifully, that's for sure. They fit the culture and beauty of Always at it's peak fully. As they began to pack, all the customers stand to head for the doors as well.

"I guess that's it, huh." I say disappointed.

"Mayeda-sensei, I'm serious. Why not?"

"Supple youth, Fujiwara-kun." I answer. "Join me for a cigarette?"

"I don't smoke actually."

"You going somewhere?"

"I came alone." he says embarrassingly.

"So did I."

We walk outside to meet the lanterns and myriad of signs scribbled with kanji and prints of an infinite variety. The rain had stopped but the street's a wet mirror littered by puddles all over. I sit on a nearby bench underneath the front of a closed seafood shop and grab a box of Seven Stars from my clutch, the first cigarette of the night to balance the alcohol still pervading my system.

"That's an old brand,"

"I'm an older woman," I brush my hair behind my ear before sticking a cigarette in between my lips.

I could just be another silly woman but even at 39, almost 40, I still wear makeup. I've always taken care of myself. I always prioritized my wellbeing and learned how to fend for myself. My health, my career, my parents were all my sole responsibility. I wanted to take control of my future. I wanted to be the one to do it because I firmly believed nobody could do it but me. Even if it hadn't always been like that in my younger years, I learned and grew from the hardships. I used what I learned to empathize with others.

"So why'd you give up Fujiwara-kun?"

"Hm? On what?"

"Your dream, you used to want to be a jazz artist." I giggle. "It was actually the cutest thing, you thirteen years ago."

"Oh, right." he looks at me and his expression becomes serious. "Well, the industry isn't what I thought it'd be."

"Is that so?" I light my cigarette and puff. Thick smoke exudes from my lips.

"They split us apart. It's a shame how a contract could show us how different we all were."

"So you blame it on the industry? That you all went separate ways?"

"I blame it on the temptations they used to lure us." he leans against the cement of the building.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure you were all close."

"It's okay. I'm learning."

"As am I." I flick the ash from my cig. A person passes us, then two. A few more. I can tell the moment has caught up to us, we questioned our lives side-by-side in this alley of neon signs.

"Mayeda-sensei, Why do I feel like this is the first time I'm really meeting you?”

"You can call me Yoko. We aren't young anymore, Fujiwara-kun. Maybe that's why."

"Jin."

"Huh?"

"I want you to call me Jin." he looks at me. I don't understand the expression on his face. I slowly trail my eyes away and take another inhale of the last of my cigarette.

"Okay. Jin." It sounds so funny, calling him by his first name. He used to be one of my favorite students. Now we're both equals, just adults trying to find our way through this massive ocean of life. Even at my age, I still felt that way. Part of me resonated rhythmically with his desire to play music again. At his age I felt I was equally as optimistic about pursuing my dreams. These days, I wasn't so sure. I'd settle for happiness in the stagnant melodies of adulthood just like every other one of us.

"Yoko." he says. Hearing him say my name like that, a man saying my first name so casually, it made me feel weird. Uncomfortable. I probably shouldn't have been so conflicted about it but,

"I like that," I take one last drag and throw my cig out. "Nobody calls me Yoko."

"Why's that?"

"I dunno. Maybe I've always been older than I am." I stare down at my boots as I stretch my legs out.

"You've always been reserved but you're wise. I wish Ryuji and the other teacher's could've seen that."

"I'm not sure, maybe part of them was right."

I stand up to go home. Jin looks like he understands it's time but surprisingly he didn't seem ready to call it. I guess he had been bored with the idea of going home since he came out to listen to the jazz music. I can't help it, but I began to feel an overwhelming drowsiness.

"I think it's time I go. Thank you for sitting with me. It was a nice chat."

"Wait, Yoko." When he used my name like that, the weirdest feeling crept into my bones.

"Hm?"

"Take this. It's my number. We should play music together again. I know you said you didn't want to but I remember how you taught music. It's the same look you had in the bar." I'm shaken by his abrupt confession. Just as I thought he was done he kept going. "I never said it out loud but, the minute I saw you I wanted to tell you it was the way you'd play the piano and then the strings with that serene smile, your eyes closed. It was the most beautiful melodies I'd heard in my life up until that point. That's why I wanted to make jazz music."

I didn't mean to but I let out a laugh. I can tell by his expression he thought I was laughing at him but I laughed because hearing it was both funny and tender. I thought it was sweet. But I'm almost thirteen years older than he was. Even if he was a man now, seemingly mid-twenties, I was nothing like the younger girls I know would want him. He grew into a good looking young man. I might still have some of my looks but my peak has long since departed.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't laughing at you, I promise." I calm myself as he stares in silence. "You had a crush on your music theory teacher? Is that what you're telling me?" he blushes and I feel his body welcome anxiety.

"Well, err, I, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that." He bowed and and I motion him to pick his head up. There was nothing wrong with a small harmless crush. But he was giving me his number and asking me to play music with him. I haven't touched an instrument in years.

"Well," I looked at him. "Do you still? Is that why you ask?"

He looks at me. I look at him. We don't say anything. But I think we both know what it means. I don't want to entertain the thought, even if I have needs too, because I loved who I was and who I've become. Even if I really was a lonely woman.

"I'm much older than you Jin, my 40th birthday is in a month. I'm sorry."

"You still look beautiful for your age Yoko." he persists. I'm taken aback.

"You're just saying that, but it's sweet of-"

"No Yoko, you're beautiful. You're the music I fell for."

His eyes looked intense. The kind that made me realize he had felt this way for a long time. I know he wasn't my student anymore and I know we were equals now. It shouldn't matter, if he really wanted me, and it was tempting. I hadn't been touched in so long. My stomach began turning, I suddenly became hyper-aware of the distance between us, my standing legs practically touching his legs sprawled out from the bench. Before I even had time to process my response he stands up and suddenly he's that much closer to me. He's much taller. He gives an air of superiority despite being my junior. His eyes are intruding my pupils, forcing dilation. Maybe it's intrigue or maybe it's desire, but I felt his lips press mine. Nothing else felt quite like it.

[ann-whispers]

Behold, characters and vague background of a story that I'm writing

So I'm writing a story about a group of children that are students at a prestigious private boarding school and run the school's newspaper club that accidentally summoned a demon and the rest of hell (You can ask). The characters and their shenanigans are based around common cliché's and troupes but my way and slightly better. I'm in the (painful) process of writing the story and when I finish it I will post it on AO3 and share it here.

Anyways, these are my precious babies that I'm about to traumatize. These are just the main characters (meaning they are the heads of the newspaper club) because I have far too many for this one post...

Lilith Arondottir (She/Her)

Based around the Nerd Girl, main protagonist, head of the club's student submission's section

A sarcastic and intelligent Neurodivergent with a love for forensic science, guns, video games and fanfiction. She's a little sassy but mostly blunt and doesn't sugar coat and has severe social anxiety. She hates people and is mostly just tired. She is also very petty and fueled with spite. Will start throwing hands if frustrated enough. Hates swearing. She tends to be a tad self-sacrificing and almost deathly loyal. She's Indonesian but was adopted by an Icelandic gay couple and spent about half her life in Iceland. She's also a lesbian who falls in love with her academic rival.

Reads fanfiction. Mainly fluff, some dark shit, and smut (but like a good fanfiction reader, will never admit that)

The school is a school filled with rich people. Lilith is a scholarship student so while the others are rich as fuck, she is a lowly commoner

She is described to have an unsettling looking smile

She once built a huge glitter bomb when she was 8 and gave her two dads a heart attack

Quotes Ugh people…what a horrible thing to interact with I have never wanted to shoot myself in the foot to get a good excuse to avoid a situation as much as I want to write now If this man doesn’t shut up I’m cutting his stick off him body so the world is safe from his spawn

Lucas Estefan Escarra (He/Him)

Based around the theater kid and 'quirky' best friend cliché, protagonist's best friend, club president and management (manages expenses, advertisements, and printing)

The dramatic and over the top theater kid that Lilith calls her best friend. He is sassy and he loves music (especially Broadway musicals). He is also very petty and very competitive in all that he does. He is much more social and charming. He was neglected in favor of his Mary Sue sister whom he despises and wants to out do her. He's Mexican and is very open about the fact he's aro/ace.

Quotes Broadway musicals and other songs during conversations

He once started a fight in the hallways just to annoy a teacher that was bothering him

Can play guitar, piano, and trumpet and is a very good singing

Loves side scroller games and hates horror (but Lilith makes him play unless he is greatly disturbed)

Quotes “Congratulations! You’re a furry!” “Oh you little miss perfect wouldn’t it be a perfect day for her to just drop dead on a stage and feel the overwhelming sense of failure take over her like it has for years and years and-” “Are you ok Lucas?” “NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED YOU BITCH”

Carina Oclair (She/They)

Based around the rebellious goth characters, club's vice president and head of documentation and design

The rebellious little goth girl. She's short and violent with major anger issues and tends to be an asshole. Reckless and an adrenaline junky who just wants to have fun and chaotic. She's the violent and angry little sister but definitely has a soft side underneath all the black. She's a French demi-girl who is bisexual. She's also deaf and communicates through lip-reading, text-to-speech device, writing in her notebook, and sign language.

Very good and fighting and she loves getting into fights in general

She is very good at street art and skate-boarding

Has four overprotective older siblings (Clarkson, Cherisse, Charlie, Charlize)

Casually has a baseball bat and pepper spray hidden in her dorm room

Quotes I can’t hear shit you, you dumbass bitch stop talking slower I physically can’t hear you Take a step closer pretty boy, I swear this bat is just for decoration, I promise your balls will still be intact Oh good they’re making out now good for the- shit I owe Lucas $50 FUCK YOU AND HORNY ASS LILITH

Evelyn Mai (She/Her)

Based around the popular girl troupe, the head of student run columns and runs her own column (gossip).

She is one of the most popular girls in school. She's pretty and she's threatening but is very kind and sweet. She is sassy and adores gossip and rumors but is also very caring and protective and very responsible. She is a perfectionist. Loves fashion design, jewelry, dresses, shoes, and make-up. She is a Vietnamese who is also a closeted pansexual.

Is very good at sewing and loves making dresses and other types of clothing

Likes cooking and baking and the club loves her food

Was taught self-defense so she is actually very good at using a dagger

Does spend a lot of time on social media but always finds something funny to make the others laugh

Quotes “Make-up can hide my scars but it cannot hide my trauma” “I see we skipped the shower as usual huh Hasaphis?” “Garner take off the trash jacket”

Koen Garner (He/Him)

Based around the jock troupe, head of announcements and advertisements.

He is a strong and athletic guy who is super super tall. He is on the basketball team and is very good at the game and is described to be good looking. He is a complete sweetheart and kind and always wants to make his friends happy. He's not the smartest but does his best and has a huge collection of plushies that the club likes to steal from. He is an Aboriginal Australian guy and is an openly gay guy.

Is an amputee and has a prosthetic leg

He is on the school wrestling team

Pigeons and other animals are terrifying (I'd like to remind that he is Australian so it seems fair that he'd be scared)

He's strong enough to pick the other club members up, and usually has to pull Carina away before she gets into a fight

Quotes “Please calm down Carina we’re supposed to be making good terms with them- Where's Lucas” “Maybe I should get the cat one… but this Cerberus plush is so soft… but it's a cute cat plush…but three headed-dog that's also cute… but cat… but dog…” “I punched him in the face and he started crying then I panicked and started crying and so I tried to hug him but I moved my arms too fast and punched him again and then we were both just crying on the ground” “...Gardner…what”

These are just 5 of my children and I love them all dearly and I just really wanted to show someone other then my best friend.

[mathgeek101]

So guess what!!! I just finished my first semester of teaching!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was really hard!!!!! But things are okay. A number of things happened:

1. I almost quit my job three separate times.

My principal has been immensely supportive of me and the music program at our school. When I was considering leaving she was very understanding and brought a lot of things to my attention without guilting me or pressuring me. We're SO lucky to have her as our principal.

2. I started taking medication for my depression and anxiety.

My medication is helping a lot of the generalized depression symptoms (neat!). I'm also seeing a therapist and it's WAY better than that guy I saw like four times in March. I feel like I'm thinking a little clearer.

3. I visited my sister and a friend that lives in another city twice each.

My sisters (@small-but-spunky @charliechick117 ) have been my grounding point all semester (and my whole life tbh)!! I try to reach out to them because I know they don't mind, and they always have the best advice. My friends are also incredibly patient and supportive of me!!! I need to remember to reach out and rely on them more :)

4. I had my first concert with my choirs.

I'm a performer and I love to make music!!!! Being on the teacher/director side is very different, but no less satisfying!! My principal told me I looked so comfortable on stage, and that the concert was great! I also had four recitals with my piano and guitar classes, and I felt so proud of my students!! They did so well!!! Even if they messed up, I was just so happy to stand there and watch them perform.

5. I reached out to friends/colleagues.

It was kinda scary at first, but the more I've done it the more comfortable I've become doing it. I love finding out that what I'm feeling and doing is Normal and Fine and Actually Good. Also talking stuff out just makes me realize how well I am actually doing.

All of this has come together to make me feel like maybe I can do this. I'm not feeling like oh! I've got this! Prodigy teacher! But I'm definitely settling in a little bit more every day, and it's those teeny steps that really count. Teaching is.... Empowering and satisfying and love! I am so full of love and if I get to pass that on to my students and help them become better people, what more could I possibly want?

[mingain]

I posted 776 times in 2022

That's 765 more posts than 2021!

184 posts created (24%)

592 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fuzzy-melonlord

@dollscircus

@daveyserket

@undeniablyemily

@themonotonysyndrome

I tagged 247 of my posts in 2022

#redacted asmr - 130 posts

#chaos with mingain - 66 posts

#redacted angel - 46 posts

#redacted davey - 44 posts

#redacted david - 28 posts

#redacted unpopular opinions - 24 posts

#redacted asher - 23 posts

#redacted sweetheart - 23 posts

#redacted milo - 22 posts

#redacted babe - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 85 characters

#i’m setting the main character’s mother on fire in the series i’m writing so probably

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ok, I'm sure it's clear what my opinion on the Caelum controversy is due to me reblogging every post I can telling people not to sexualize him. But, I wanted to make my own post to solidify the fact that I agree that Caelum, as a character cannoically compared to a child, should not be sexualised (nor should any character in any work that is cannonically a child or compared to a child frequently).

If any of my followers or mutuals have a problem with my standpoint on this, unfollow me immediatly. My blog is meant to be a safe place for people and having someone who condones the sexualisation of a childlike character will stop it from being safe.

69 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

#4

I'm convinced that Hux listens to 'Never Gonna Give You Up' unironically and has unknowingly Rick Rolled the whole D.A.M.N. crew on multiple occations when he was playing his music.

I do not take critisism on this.

70 notes - Posted January 22, 2022

#3

Ok, hear me out here, but Angel as a music teacher. 

- They just randomly burst into song at the worst times but it calms everyone around them.  - Has turned up to a pack meeting late with their cello on their back because one of their students wanted help writing a song. - Angel and David running into one of Angel’s students while out together and David getting to see just how much they care for their students. - Angel getting bombarded with presents from students at Christmas and the end of the academic year because their everyone’s favourite teacher. - Angel holding an after school club that they tell the school is “music theory revision” but really, it’s 5 minutes of music theory revision followed by absolute chaos and becomes a band practice. - Angel teaching Sweetheart how to play piano. More specifically, Angel teaching Sweetheart how to play Milo’s favourite song on the piano for a birthday present. (He cried) - Angel with perfect pitch. Just like, “Yeah, Christian, your voice just raised from a C4 to a E4, calm down, Asher was joking.” - Angel performing The Last Of The Real Ones by Fall Out Boy on their anniversary.

Conclusion: Music teacher Angel has my heart.

97 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#2

More Redacted ASMR Incorrect Quotes.

Note: Some attributes I assigned to the listeners are based off of my OCs for them (Angel and Babe's jobs and where Angel and Sweetheart are from). Also thank you @moonandstarlightsposts for sending me that clip, you saved my ass from haveing a meltdown.

Angel: Vodka time! David: I'm sorry... what? Asher, running into the pack meeting with two bottles of vodka: VODKA TIME!

----------

David: You could've died! Asher: I prefer to call it a vibe check from God.

----------

Lovely: My boyfriend won't stop flirting with me! Babe: My boyfriend won't stop complimenting me! Darlin': My boyfriend won't stop lecturing me! Angel, soaking wet: My boyfriend won't stop pushing me into the goddamn pool!

----------

Babe: Fuck, marry, kill with David, Angel and William Solaire. Darlin', glaring at Babe: Obviously I'm marrying Angel-

----------

Darlin': So... uh... what do you do for a living? Angel: Oh, I'm a music teacher. Christian: Prove it. Play five songs on the piano right now. Angel, ignoring him: As you can see, I have experience with people whose maturity hasn't yet progressed past the age of 13.

----------

Angel: You know, my best friend is a dentist! Babe: Hi? David: Angel, you have the worst oral hygene I've ever seen.

----------

Sweetheart, giving Milo a present: Merry Christmas! Milo: It's June-

--------

Asher: Oh my God, how did you break your foot!? Angel: I kicked a Dalek.

----------

Angel, Babe and Sweetheart, who got sent to the past:

Gabe: Well, who are you 3 in the future? Sweetheart: A department investigator. Babe: An informed unempowered. Angel: Your future child-in-law.

David, from across the room: I'm sorry... his WHAT!?

----------

Darlin': *Walks into a pack meeting and picks up Angel.* David: Tank, put my mate down. Darlin': No &lt;3

----------

David: Everytime you talk, I get a migrane. Asher: And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly. Angel: Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last. Milo: Need you by my side!

----------

Asher: Yo, guys, Mozart's fucking dead! Angel: Oh my God! David: Angel, you're LITERALLY A MUSIC TEACHER.

----------

Sam: Do I really have to do this? Angel, Milo and Sweetheart: YES!

Sam: Texas Milo: East Coast Angel: England Sweetheart: And Ireland All: The four hoursemen of "goddamn, they've got a sexy accent".

120 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Redacted ASMR Incorrect Quotes... it’s time.

Babe to Angel: If we made a joint YouTube channel, we would just be Unus Annus reskinned. Angel: ...Yes Sweetheart: Can I be jacksepticeye and drop in every once in a while? David: -_- Asher: ^u^ Milo: O_O?

-------------------------

Angel, tired from a long day at work: Kill me. Quinn, from behind a nearby tree: That can be arrainged.

-------------------------

Angel: I think I should go to a chiropractor. Asher: What’s a chiropractor? Angel: My bones go clicky clicky, chiropractor makes my bones go CRACK! David: ... Angel, what the actual fu-

-------------------------

Lovely: *Singing Single Ladies* Vincent: I don’t know how to feel about this.

-------------------------

Sam, walking into his home: Hello? Angel, Babe and Sweetheart: Allow us to introduce ourselves.

-------------------------

On the mates group chat

Sweetheart added SamAngel changed Sam’s name to Southern Tank Driver

Babe: Well, hello there.

-------------------------

Asher: Duck... duck... goose! Tank: Oh, please. Not even I’m that childish. Asher, grow up and play Wolf, Wolf, Vampire. David: *Dies inside*

-------------------------

Angel: MIRACULOUS! Babe: SIMPLY THE BEST! Sweetheart: UP TO THE TEST WHEN THINGS GO WRONG! Tank: MIRACULOUS! Lovely: THE LUCKIEST! David, Sam and Milo: -_- Asher and Vincent: THE POWER OF LOVE ALWAYS SO STRONG!

-------------------------

David: I should have left you on that street corner where you were standing. Angel and Asher, simultaneously: But you didn’t

------------------------

Angel: Hi... David: Hello? Angel: ... My name is Chelsea, what’s your favorite dinner food?

-------------------------

Vincent: Lovely, you seem to use humor to deflect you trama. Lovely: And? You became a flirt to deflect yours.

-------------------------

Angel: Ok, ok, ok, hear me out... *mind goes blank* Asher, Babe, Sweetheart and Milo: *Waiting patiently* David: Angel? You ok? Angel: ... cum.

-------------------------

Lovely: Sam, tell Vincent that I’m mad at him. Sam: You’re literally sitting in his lap. Lovely: Your point?

126 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[softbobamilktae]

The Strings of My Heart [25] - War on Gluten

← Chapter 24 | Chapter 26 →

Pairing: Zoro x Jupiter

Genre: fluff, angst, f2l

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: none. this is literally just another filler chapter I'm sorry </3

Summary: Zoro’s moved to sunny California for college to escape from the life of fame for a little while. But when he loses his violin case in the second week of school, he’s sure his college experience has just gone up in flames. What will he do when, despite all odds, his case is returned to him?

Zoro’s family returned home on the eleventh, and school started for everyone within the next few days.  This meant that Aurora and Comet were the only ones home during the day besides their mother, and Jupiter was headed back to her long days at work.

As school came to a start, it was time for Zoro to start his teaching job.  He wasn’t sure how horrified he should be that he had students of all ages.  On the bright side, he was teaching people one-on-one instead of in a group.  He would never have been able to handle teaching a group of people he didn’t know.

He was greeted by a slightly older girl when he walked into the shop.

“Hey!  You here for lessons?”

He shook his head. “Uh…I’m your new violin teacher.  Zoro Kim?”

Her face lit up. “Oh, yes!  Welcome!  You have about fifteen minutes until your first student gets here.”

He nodded and set his violin case down on the counter. “I didn’t realize this place was also a shop.”

“Oh yeah.  We rent out instruments, too.  It makes things easier on the students if they can just buy things here instead of having to go to another shop when their strings break or something.”

He hummed. “Do you play?”

“I play piano.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.  I’m not that great at it, though.  Is violin your only instrument?”

He shrugged. “I can play piano and guitar.  I went to university for violin, though.”

“That’s awesome!  You have a bachelors, then?”

He shook his head. “I only completed a year and a half.  I was going to school down in California, and I had to move here to help my girlfriend out, so I dropped out.”

“Well, glad to know I’m not the only college drop-out here.”

“You dropped out too?” he laughed.

She nodded. “I was studying to be an attorney.  I decided I hated it after about two years.  I know the owner here, so he gave me a job when I moved back to town.”

“Ah.”

“I should probably show you around.  The building here is pretty cramped, so it’s really easy to miss stuff when you’re walking around the halls.”

Maybe teaching wouldn’t be so bad.

◇◆◇◆◇

Zoro was very much ready to be home by the time the day was over.  His students had all been fine – besides the kid who had started shrieking the second Zoro had asked him to pick up his bow – but Zoro’s social battery had run out hours before.  Maybe Hyeon had been right.  Maybe teaching wasn’t the best job for him.

“Zoroooooooooo is homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” Aurora squealed as he walked through the door.  She was hugging his leg a second later, and he dragged her through the hall as he went to pull his shoes off.

“Hi, Rory.  How was your day?”

“We made a big tower!”

“Oh, did you?  Anything else today?”

“Mommy let us watch TV for a longgggggggggg time, and then we had apples!”

“That sounds like fun,” he chuckled, finally picking her up once his coat was off and he’d sent his violin case down.

“Yeah.  But I missed you lots!”

He chuckled and nuzzled his nose into her cheek. “You missed me, did you?”

Aurora giggled. “Yeah!”

“What should we do now that I’m home?”

“We should eat!”

“Eat?  No…didn’t you just eat, silly?”

“No.  I ate a longgggggggggg time ago!”

“Huh.  All right, what should we eat?”

“I want to have a cheese!” Aurora wiggled out of his arms and went running into the kitchen.

After pulling out a cheese stick for Aurora, Zoro went to find Comet.  The toddler was sitting in his room stacking blocks.

“Zoro!”

“Comet!  What are you doing?”

“Buildin’ blocks.”

“Are you having fun?”

Comet nodded. “Yeah.  Is fun.”

“Are you hungry?”

“No.”

“All right.  I’ll let you keep building, then.”

Zoro had to leave soon to go get Bella from kindergarten, which meant taking the van.  It wasn’t his favorite car to drive, but it was the only car with car seats in it.  Thankfully, the rest of the kids were old enough to ride the bus in Jupiter’s standards, so the rest of them would get home by themselves.

Usually, Zoro would just leave Aurora and Comet home.  After all, their mother was here.  It didn’t appear that she was really attending to them today, though.

“Rory, Comet, do you guys want to go with me to get Bella?”

Aurora gasped. “Yeah!”

Comet pouted. “Want to build.”

“Would you like to come if we went shopping?”

That was enough to get the toddler to abandon his blocks and head down the stairs to find his shoes.

“We’re taking Bella shopping too?” Aurora asked as she pulled her shoes on.

“That’s right.  We’re gonna go get her from school and go shopping for dinner.  How does that sound?”

“That’s fun!” Comet squeaked.

“Ok, who needs help with their coat?”

◇◆◇◆◇

Bella nearly bounced out of class when Zoro picked her up.

“Look what I drew!” she grinned, holding her piece of paper up to him.

“Oh!  A horse?”

She frowned. “No, Zoro!  It’s a unicorn!”

“Ah, of course.  How silly of me.  It’s definitely a unicorn,” he nodded, although he really wasn’t sure she’d drawn a horn on the unicorn. “Do you want to go shopping with us?”

“Shopping?” she gasped. “Yes!  Can we get cookies?”

“If you guys behave while we’re at the store, we can get cookies.”

This earned a ‘yay!’ from all three of them.

They were at the store not five minutes later, browsing the aisles for the items on Zoro’s list.

“We need to get juice boxes,” Aurora told him as they walked down the snack aisle.

“Are you sure we need juice boxes?” Zoro asked.

Aurora nodded. “Yeah.”

He gave in easily.  None of them had complained about this outing whatsoever, so he thought they deserved a reward.

“All right.  What kind of juice do we want?”

“Apple!”

“Fruit punch!”

“Grape!”

He grimaced. “How about we just get one kind?”

“Ok, I also get apple,” Comet gave in.

“But I want fruit punch,” Bella frowned.

“All right.  There’s a pack with apple and fruit punch in it.  How does that sound?”

It was easily agreed upon that this was the package they should get, so they moved on.

“How are we feeling about broccoli soup tonight?” Zoro asked as he picked out the ingredients to make said dish.

“Yummy!” Aurora exclaimed.

Bella nodded along.

They’d eaten it quite a few times before, but Zoro always wanted to make sure that it was something everyone wanted.  His mom had taught him that often the reason littler kids were so picky was because they knew certain foods bothered them, so he wanted to make sure that foods he made were ones all the kids enjoyed.  None of them tended to be picky, though, so this wasn’t usually a problem.  The only thing they had to shop around was Stella’s gluten allergy, and sometimes she opted for other food options just to make cooking easier for them.

“Is there anything else we need?”

“Cookies!” Bella reminded him.

“What kind of cookies do we want?” Zoro asked, finding himself in the bakery section of the store.

“I want oatmeal!” Bella announced.

“Can I have chocolate?” Aurora asked.

Comet opted for pointing to the one he wanted, which was apparently the M&M ones.  Each cookie came in a pack of three, but Zoro decided that the remaining cookies could just be eaten by the rest of the kids at home.  Shopping appeared to be a success today.

◇◆◇◆◇

Stella set a bag of almond flour on the counter. “Zoro, can you help me?  Jupiter bought me some almond flour so I can make some gluten-free cookies, but I don’t really want to try it alone.”

Zoro smiled. “Sure!  Do you have a recipe?  I may be good at baking, but I am not good at coming up with recipes.”

Stella laughed. “I found a recipe online that I’d like to try.  I’ve never really gotten to eat sweets very often because most of that stuff has gluten in it, so I thought I’d make something by myself!”

“Good idea.  Have you used almond flour before?”

She grimaced. “No.  It was the most recommended gluten-free flour, so I’m just hoping it tastes good.”

“Well, if it isn’t, we can always go buy other flours.  We can experiment until you find something you like.”

“We don’t have to do that.  I think a lot of those flours are more expensive.”

He waved his hand. “We’ve got the money.  Don’t worry about that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Stelle.  Your sister is the CEO of a company, and I have plenty of money.  We can buy you some flour if you’d like it.”

“Ok,” Stella agreed quietly. “Thank you.”

“Let’s get these cookies started, shall we?  What do we need to set the oven to?”

◇◆◇◆◇

Stella’s cookies were piping hot out of the oven half an hour later.  They mostly resembled the cookies that had wheat flour in them, but these were a bit more flat.

“What do you think?” Zoro asked after he set the pan of cookies on the counter.

“They look…pretty good, actually.  Honestly, I haven’t had a cookie in ages, so I don’t really have anything to compare them to taste-wise.”

Zoro hummed. “Well, we need to get them off the pan if we don’t want them to overcook.”

Stella was quick to get the baking racks out so they had somewhere to set the cookies, then they scraped each cookie off the pan and set it on the racks.

“They’re kinda floppy,” she observed.

“Most cookies are when they’re straight out of the oven.  They’ll probably get firmer once they’ve cooled off a bit.”

She poked one of the cookies with her metal spatula, causing chocolate to pour out of the cookie.

“Well, if nothing else, the chocolate looks good.”

Zoro laughed. “I’m sure they won’t be that bad if almond flour is so recommended.”

“Yeah, you’re right.  Just not sure if the almond flavor will be very good with this.”

“Don’t be so pessimistic.  And remember, if this flour doesn’t taste good, we can always buy others.”

Stella shrugged. “I don’t know, Zoro.  One of my friends is gluten-free, and she said these kinds of flours don’t taste good.”

“You don’t have the same taste buds as her.  You might love it.”

“Are you sure?”

Zoro tore one of the cookies apart and held the half out to her. “Take a bite.”

She sighed but willingly took a bite.  It had been her idea, after all.  Her eyes widened in surprise a moment later.

“Oh!  They are good!”

“Are they?  Here,” he handed her the cookie.  Then he picked up the other half and took a bite of it. “Ooo!  You’re right.”

“We need to hide these before everyone comes out here.”

Zoro laughed. “I’m sure it won’t be too hard to deter them.  Maybe I can go buy some more cookies for them.”

“Nah.  If I just tell them they’re made with almond flour, they’ll leave them alone.”

“You think so?”

Stella nodded. “The older kids especially.  Jupiter used to buy peanut flour, and that stuff was nasty, so they’ll probably assume this is too.”

He chuckled. “Ok.  Your original idea of just putting them away was probably better, though.”

“It was.  Let me go get a fan out of the basement so they’ll cool faster.”

Zoro shook his head. “They’ll probably be mostly cool by the time you get back up here with that thing.  Let’s just clean the kitchen up real quick.” “Ok.  I’m going to put the almond flour at the top of the cabinet, ok?”

Chapter 26 →

This is part of the Dad!BTS series that can be found here

Series M.list

A/N: I felt like we needed more Stella so you guys get a cooking scene lol. Next chapter will have drama again I'm sure

It would be greatly appreciated if you reblogged the story if you liked it!

Taglist: @jiminie-and-his-pinky-finger @jinnie-forthe-winnie

[racingtoaredlight]

In our lifetimes...(plus rambling)

We'll hear Chloe Chua described as the best violinist of her era. She's 17. Seventeen.

By prodigy standards, she's already blown the doors off. Prodigies aren't all cut from the same cloth...an oboe prodigy is still looked at like a plowhorse because of the instrument they play. Is this fair? Yes.

Prestige instruments are different. There are dozens and dozens and dozens of violin and piano prodigies that are so freakishly talented, at such freakishly young ages, there's an actual crowd to get lost in because there's money to be made.

At your elite college programs, almost every student will be a prodigy...and these aren't the ones to watch.

The ones to watch are the instructors' students that aren't of college age yet. The ones which normal rules don't apply. A little later in the post, there's a clip of Chua with a couple of insanely talented violin freaks. She, 14 then, completely humiliates them.

This is something I haven't been able to shake since last week.

Time is the most valuable commodity a musician has. Yes, time is malleable...but there's only so much you can do against pure, uncut talent.

At my lesson last week, I talked to my main teacher about this. He said, straight up, the only possible way that I could become a concert guitarist at 40 is by quitting my job and devoting the next decade to practice. He wasn't being a dick, he was being honest.

He does not think that's the best route for me, his student, to take as a musician. He's saying this because he was concerned with how much dedication I've put towards classical guitar over the past 9 months, and is trying to logically warn me.

And it's been hard, depressing even, to take all that in. Because he's right.

The two violinists in the video are incredibly, incredibly talented. Their YouTube channel is fucking great, and it's clear that not only do they work hard, but they truly enjoy the practice and grind that comes along with it. They started with extreme amounts of natural talent, were incubated in environments that would enrich and cultivate it, and I have nothing but the utmost respect for them as musicians.

And they...when you watch them side by side, it's obvious that they're AA players going up against a future Hall of Famer. What she toys with, they labor over. I'm starting at an earlier point here, but if you have a few minutes, watch this section...

Don't think they don't know this either...

I started this before the main part...you get genuine reactions here, not hammed up, exaggerated for YouTube reactions. This section is telling because it's not fireworks, it's more meat...the parts you gotta grind through. And she just breezes through these parts like nothing.

But then at 15:00, this shit comes.

Now these are the fireworks.

Watch after those awful reactions...watch how they both are tripping over themselves and struggling to play something outrageously difficult that she almost barely put any effort into. That whole thing needs to be perfect...the guy on the left basically sat out the 2nd and 3rd last bars to prepare himself for that final glissando.

Then watch her at the beginning of this section again. Effortless. Routine.

With time, those two guys could get this section down just as well as she could. Probably within an hour or two, given their levels of talent. And that's the depressing part...

She's already ahead. She's already got it down. She's using her time for things that these guys won't be tackling for years down the road. They're already putting in full days of practice...how the hell are they legitimately supposed to catch up to someone like her?

It's the point my teacher was trying to make. The amount of time to put in to try and match someone with this level of natural talent, is insanity. And, ultimately, unnecessary.

But looking at yourself as a musician in comparison with people like Chua? Man...humbling doesn't even begin to describe it.

I've been reading some anecdotes of musicians in this freak tier lately. A few of my favorite ones were Mitsiko Uchida sight reading a Mozart piano sonata on stage, and Glenn Gould sight reading the Grieg Piano Concert (AWESOME), putting it down at the end going, "it's not for me."

I like the sight reading ones because they're a synthesis of everything...reading, theory, technique, emotion, psychology...and sight reading pieces like those is FUCKING INSANE. But what does this look like in practice?

Here's one of the greatest pianists in the world, Valentina Lisista. She's informally regarded as the person who sets the standard for modern Rachmaninoff...this is about as high of status as a pianist can reach.

Below is her sight reading Adinsell's Warsaw Concerto in practice two times through. Note the tablet to her right...she's sight reading along with another recording of it. Note #2...she barely looks at the score the second time through because she has an eidetic memory.

Just sit there and let this marinate for a second.

Not only does Valentina Lisista have hands large enough to play Rachmaninoff, not only does she have the technique, not only does she have the skill and instincts to translate it into music...she has a photographic memory AND CAN ALMOST PLAY AN ENTIRE TEN MINUTE CONCERTO BACK AFTER GOING THROUGH THE SCORE ONLY ONCE.

I mean...what the fuck?

PS...here's a clip of Chua doing something very similar with the TwoSet guys, burning through an etude meant to challenge. Barely struggles the first time, owns it the second, third time she's just playing with it like a cat plays with a mouse.

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Hello, it's been a while again. This is two part if you still remember me :') I just open tumblr for the first time this year and what I found? My fantasy with Ace made into 3 parts!? By my favorite author (a.k.a you) !? God I love every single words of it! Thank you so much for this, I love youuuuuu. This is the best start of the year for me lol.

Anyways, it's been a while so I want to ask how you are doing. Has you settled in your new place? How's life for you? I've been pretty busy with all of the projects and family stuff has been making me depressed recently. I'm fine, now, but the problems are still there for me solve, so I'll probably off for a while again. Buuuutttt, before that, Imma shower you some ideas I thought of while hiding in my cave throughout winter.

I really appreciate that you allow me to make requests that means a lots to me. Though, as I always say, I'm sharing these for fun, so you don't want to write them you don't have.

1. Lemme know if you do !Professor as in university professor and !student reader. I wanna ask just in case.

2. !Businessman Sabo x !Noble!fem Reader. Sabo has to work from empty hands to his rich status. When he was still poor, he worked as a music teacher for the nobles. Sabo always hated the nobles who spend their lives wasting moneys. That is until he was hired to teach reader, who is a noble's daughter, to play the piano. Reader likes him a lots. Sabo learns from reader that not all nobles are rotten, and starts to fall for her. However, he denied his feelings since he hated nobles and ended up part way with her after she mastered the piano. Then, about two years later, Sabo earns the status of a wealthy businessman that can level with a nobleman. He usually thinks of reader and fantasize about their love. One time, at a ball, reader found him and talked to him about her crush on him two years ago. Sabo got worked up but also found out she doesn't like him anymore and regret not confessing two years ago. Sabo then starts his journey to flirt with reader until she falls for him again. Ending is for you to decide. To sum up this is a tsundere/mean Sabo that gradually turns into a lovesick Sabo.

3. Ace's clumsy first time relationship with a deaf reader. Both Ace and reader are university students of the same school. Ace notices reader as a cute girl on the first day in class, then found out she is deaf later on that day. He notices all of her little actions and hobbies. Like how nice her hand writing is when she communicates with others, or how her eyes sparkle when she can use sign language with someone, or how she keep all of the notes her friends gave her in a small notebook. He also subconciously help her whenever he can. Like clearing some awkward moments or notice her of sounds she couldn't hear. Then, one day, he gave her a small note with his confession and she said yes. They became a couple. Ace started to notice more of her habits. She doesn't like it when someone sneak on her, so whenever he is near her, he tries to let her know of his presence as soon as possible. She still tries to have normal conversations and greetings, like a welcome back, or a good morning. She teaches him sign language, and she tells him that it's the warmest thing ever to know that he wants to learn it for her. Just fluffh stuff ig.

Aight, that's it for now. I'll try to be more active again since tumblr makes me happy, but I'm not sure, so see you again (hopefully soon). Happy New Year, I hope 2024 will treat you well.

these are now all answered. Also, just to state it again, yes, I do professor x student, so long as both party’s are adults. I mean, professors are typically college, but I just want to double state it. Teacher x student, professor x student, boss x employee, so long as it’s consensual adults!

[theblogs2024]

Hee-Younger Lim: Enjoying Her way into a magical area

Upon graduation from NEC, she ongoing experiments within the Conservatoire Nationwide Supérieur de Musique de Paris, in which her teachers bundled Philippe Muller. Immediately after she graduated with the NSMP with the best difference, très bien à l’unanimité and moved to study within the Hochschule für Musik Franz Liszt, Weimar, where she acquired her Konzertexamen degree mit auszeichnung or summa cum laude. By the point she was twenty, Miss out on Lim created her North American recital debut at The Kennedy Heart in Washington, DC.

Two a long time afterwards she won to start with prize for the Washington International Competition for Strings . She was a Silver Medalist on the 2009 Houston Symphony Ima Hogg Young Artist Competitiveness. Later she gained the Grand Prix within the Normandy Worldwide Discussion board (France), and received third prize on the Witold Lutosławski Intercontinental Cello Competitors in Warsaw. In 2015, Lim grew to become principal solo cellist of your Rotterdam Philharmonic Orchestra, appointed by none apart from the orchestra’s Director, Yannick Nézet-Séguin. In September 2018, Miss out on Lim turned the Professor of Cello on the Beijing Central Conservatory, the 1st Korean cellist named towards the Beijing college.

Hee-Younger Lim with Yannick Nézet-Séguin With Yannick Nézet-Séguin

Below’s where it gets somewhat ironic – and really humorous – for the kid who “didn’t actually need to Participate in the cello.” It was, as Skip Lim tells it, the piano that had when stolen her heart. She would not be “gently persuaded” to “consider up the cello”. But when her mother mentioned she was gonna give absent the highly-priced instrument, Miss Lim ultimately relented. “I transformed my brain genuinely speedy then. ‘No, no!’ I reported to my mum. ‘I need to master the cello,’ I explained to her.” It absolutely was a fortuitous conclusion for it led into the unlocking of her concealed genius.

Currently Miss out on Lim performs by using a power that mere mortals can only dimly perceive. Like Du Pré, Maisky, Ma and Other people, she belongs to a breed of cellists which have a purely natural rapport with their instrument. When she performs the cello, it truly is not a cello: It's a harp, a piano, a horn, or the whole crashing orchestra alongside one another. It can be tunes in spirit and in flesh. When she presses her fingers down on the fingerboard and wields the bow influencing sensitive, glancing blows on the strings underneath glissando, col legno, breathes in and out in double-stops, or – as directed from the music – sul tasto, the black dots fly from the composed page and right into a rarefied realm in which the music resides and evokes the blithe spirits with the composers who wrote them. She is in her purely natural factor.

The international job that has blossomed for Hee-Youthful Lim has also brought her Global renown, however it is one which she handles with circumspection. Although I'm speaking with her from throughout continents and she is informed that it will end in this function, I receive the impression that she would prefer to be playing her instrument… or instructing, as I find out Briefly get. She did, All things considered, send me a quick Observe telling me that she experienced a web-based course at any given time shortly following the a person I advised we converse. “I've to organize for my college students,” she wrote. The undertaking of teaching is a single she usually takes critically and enjoys enormously – Practically just as much as she does playing her instrument.

Taking part in the cello with uncommon brilliance was The explanation why the French maestro and cellist, Phillipe Muller approved her to be a pupil when she was scarcely in her teenagers. It is usually the reason why he has also carried out [within the 9th of May, 2019, with the Beijing Central Conservatory of New music, in Xicheng District, China] cello duets on phase with Miss out on Lim. “We played an unconventional application,” Muller stated within an interview.” “You will find not that a lot of duos for 2 cellos. Normally a cello would play which has a violin, a piano or a major ensemble,” Maestro Muller additional. The programme integrated parts by composers for example Jean-Baptiste Barrière, Jacques Offenbach, Reinhold Glière and David Popper, and was intended to reflect harmony between system and musicality.

“We started out which has a Baroque piece created by Jean Barrière, which can be very stunning, then some duos by Glière – like Op.53, No.one “Commodo” – which can be not often played. The suite we chose by Popper is very difficult, technically extremely demanding, but exciting,” Maestro Muller also added. “We didn’t decide on the songs Simply because it’s complicated. It’s also sympathetic, refreshing, I hope for that viewers way too,” the cellist observed, reaffirming the big faith and admiration he had for his younger previous-pupil. After i repeated what her previous-Trainer had said about her as well as effectiveness Skip Lim was characteristically demure: “You can hardly ever cease Understanding,” she mentioned with a shy smile.

But Plainly the tricky lines in between grasp and college student have begun to blur – in fact they may have blurred adequate to generate Skip Lim a recording agreement with Sony Classical. She produced her debut about the label with a rare recording of French Cello Concertos (2018). That programme bundled functions by Camille Saint-Saëns, Édourd Lalo, Darius Milhaud, Jacques Offenbach and Jules Massenet. In an evaluation on the recording, Michael Cookson famous that Miss out on Lim performed by using a “joyously lyrical temper” and was swept absent by “the profound weeping good quality [she] develops.”

You may think that these praise may accrue for something that is made while in the controlled natural environment of the studio. But quite a few years prior to she even recorded this, the entire world of audio was previously using recognize. At time of her debut efficiency inside the Kennedy Middle in the United States, as a make any difference of point her recital was explained in glowing phrases from the critics present. The Washington Write-up: “[Miss out on] Lim is often a deeply gifted musician that has a entire, singing tome, close to-flawless method and a purely natural lyricism that infused just about every single Be aware she performed.”

Get more info. here: 첼로연주

[let-us-meet-aga1n]

--tc challenge again but make it april and oh shit im late oh well

day 8: does your tc ever talk about what it was like when they were still a student? yep! she's talked about how she was considered this quiet, shy nerd who didn't really talk to people. she was valedictorian of her class and was really, really good at school- (i can verify all of that i have stalked the SHIT out of the internet and found EVERYTHING)

day 9: does your tc have a significant other? if so, what do you know about them and how do you feel about them? she does, yes! her fiancé and her have been dating for what appears to be 3 years now (from what i can find online) and they got engaged in the fall! i'm really really happy for her and i hope they have a happy marriage! i wish them all the best! he seems like a very sweet guy and i'm truly really happy for her. (this question was answer probably different from most, because i have less of a crush on her and more of a platonic obsession with her?? idk i wish she was my mom)

Day 10: What is the longest time you have gone without seeing them? winter break. 2 weeks of hell on earth without her. i genuinely don't want to have a summer break. i'm going to miss her so much...

Day 11: What do other people usually think about them? most people love her! she's a very sweet, genuine, and caring person. some people do talk shit about her though and every time they do i have very very violent thoughts come up in my head because if they're talking about her like that they don't even deserve to walk on the same ground she does (sorry if i got a bit crazy there i just love her so much and hate when people talk bad about her).

Day 12: Do you often make up excuses to speak to them? What kinds of excuses do you like to use? yes? more of making excuses to see her and have tiny interactions with her. i guess some people would call me a stalker??? idk she knows i'm there so its not really stalking. she's called me a lurker before which is probably closer to what i am. i make excuses all the time to go to my locker, go to the bathroom, "oh shoot i left my *insert random object here* in the other building! can i go get it teacher?" and then try to take every path imaginable to see what she's up to and what she's doing. yeah i just like lurking wherever she is-

Day 13: Other than the subject they teach, what are they really passionate about? she has a really big passion for travel and other cultures. it makes a lot of sense though, seeing she's lived in 3 different countries and only in her late 20s. she also really enjoys branching out in music which made me fall even more in love because HI IM A MUSICIAN AND I REALLY WANNA TALK MUSIC WITH HER ALL DAY BUT IM TOO ANXIOUS FOR THAT!

Day 14: What is a skill you really wish your TC had?

GOD I WISH SHE PLAYED AN INSTRUMENT- piano or viola seem to fit her and i don't know why. possibly even electric bass? i'd love to see her play an instrument... i'd probably die if she did

[starlight-phantom]

Hi! I'm the anon who asked about Matsunaga and Hitokoe! Sorry I only saw your answer a little while ago because I was pretty busy but wow whole confidants?? Could I ask what they entailed or is that a little too forward?

Hello! That's fine, that happens to me all the time. And well, it's not like I'm ever gonna finish that fic so I might as well just share my notes about the confidants. Keep in mind though, they are just basic outlines, I was planning on fleshing them out when I actually got to writing them but... Y'know... I never did that.

Matsunaga:

Rank 2: He asks Ren for help with carrying books to his car and the two chat about Ren's academic performance and Matsunaga's laziness.

Rank 3: Ren sees a student bribe Matsunaga into giving him the answers to the upcoming quiz. Matsunaga seems apprehensive but does it. Ren questions him on it, but Matsunaga remains vague.

Rank 4: Ren sees Matsunaga in Shibuya and chats when an unfamiliar woman appears and makes a cryptic remark to Matsunaga.

Rank 5: Ren helps Matsunaga tidy up and asks him why he's a teacher if he doesn't enjoy teaching. Matsunaga dejectedly admits that he doesn't know.

Rank 6: Matsunaga confesses to Ren that he used to love teaching back at the old school he worked at. However, after he refused to give the exams answers to a student who attempted to seduce him, the student framed him for having an inappropriate relationship with her and got him fired. Matsunaga admitted that he lost his love of helping teenagers learn after that. Ren tells him that if he knew the girl was lying, he should do what he knows is best and help the students who deserve it.

Rank 7: Matsunaga takes Ren's words to heart and begins using a more hands-on approach to teaching. He becomes more friendly and cheerful and the students enjoy his lessons a lot more.

Rank 8: Ren helps Matsunaga shop for better stationery and treats for the students when the woman appears again. She is the girl who framed Matsunaga at his old school. She accuses Matsunaga of having an inappropriate relationship with Ren and threatens to tell Kosei if Matsunaga doesn't pay her. Matsunaga has a panic attack about his life being ruined a second time by this girl. Ren asks for her name and changes her heart.

Rank 9: Ren takes Matsunaga to the diner to try and help him calm down. The woman appears again and apologises. She admits that she was extremely bitter that she failed at school and her life quickly went downhill as she fell into debt while Matsunaga managed to pick himself back up. She tells Matsunaga that he was a great teacher and that she won't lie to Kosei. Matsunaga cries tears of joy and relief after she walks away.

Rank 10: Matsunaga visits Leblanc to personally thank Ren for everything he's done and apologises for spreading his criminal record. He explains that he told everything to the principal and has been given a second chance. Matsunaga also reveals that he figured out that Ren was a phantom thief and promises to do whatever he can to help.

Hitokoe:

Rank 2: Ren admits that he overheard the argument between Hitokoe and Matsunaga and thanks Hitokoe for sticking up for him. Hitokoe states that she was only doing what was right.

Rank 3: During lunchtime, Ren notices a bunch of third year boys flirting with Hitokoe. After they leave, Hitokoe tells him that, while she finds it flattering that they think she's pretty, it makes her feel rather uncomfortable.

Rank 4: Ren stumbles across Hitokoe practising a song of her own. Her voice is beautiful. She informs him that it's a song her friend taught her when they were at school.

Rank 5: While practising piano after school, Ren notices that Hitokoe is quieter than usual. She tells him that it's just a down day for her and that she gets days like this occasionally. However, she is still very supportive of Ren's music.

Rank 6: Ren stumbles across the vice principal cornering Hitokoe, trying to get her to go on a date with him. Ren quickly intervenes, pretending that he has a few questions about his current music project. The other teacher leaves and Hitokoe thanks him.

Rank 7: Ren asks why Hitokoe is always pushing him to improve his music. Hitokoe admits that it's because she can see her former self in him and wants to help Ren become more confident. She states that once you start doing the things that make you happy, life becomes so much more enjoyable.

Rank 8: Ren enters the music room after school for a practice session, only to find Hitokoe in tears. When he asks what's wrong, Hitokoe informs him that the vice principal threatened to have her fired after she turned him down. Ren asks for his name and decides to change his heart.

Rank 9: Ren returns to the music room for another practice session to find Hitokoe much more cheerful. She informs him that the vice principal apologised and even told her that her teaching skills were good enough to warrant a promotion. She, however, turned the promotion down, stating that she's very happy with her current job for the time being. She tells Ren that she had begun to clear out her desk because she thought she was definitely going to be fired and that while she was cleaning, she found an old photo of her music class at highschool. After Ren can't find her in the photo, she points to a small, black haired boy with a nervous smile and tense body language. Ren remarks that she looks a lot happier now and that the blue hair suits her a lot better than black. Hitokoe gives him a big, beaming smile.

Rank 10: Hitokoe encourages Ren before his performance at the culture festival. She thanks him for being so supportive and understanding. She tells him that he's extremely talented and has a very bright future; as both a musician and a phantom thief. She promises that she will always be there to help him and then urges him onto the stage.

I hope you like what I originally planned for them and sorry I never actually wrote it.

[untanglingmyself]

Chapter 1

Let's start from the begining. Me. Hello. I won't share much of where I come from or who I am but you'll get the idea.

I was a kid in the 90s. In a tropical country where women's bodies were celebrated (and by that I mean beautiful scultted bodies were seen and adored by pervs... 90s eh?! )

I was a chubby kid. I grew up with every single person telling me I needed to lose weight, from parents and grandparents (they really wanted my best and had no ill intention), to teachers, classmates, people on the streets who never even knew me.

I grew up feeling extremely inferior, because, let's be honest, that¨s how most of those people saw me as. I was bullied in school, I never had those regular things teenagers have, a boy interested in them, first dates, first kisses, crushes that worked out. I was just there, seeing my crushes have crushes on other girls, them seeing me as a friend at most, or someone to make fun of, honeslty.

And my so called friends did not really want to be seen with me in school because it was not cool.

I clearly remember one girl, she was pretty and popular, had a bad life out of school. Her mother and my mother were friends, she lived close to me. Every time, which was ofter, her mom needed to leave her alone, she would come to my house. We would play, have fun, have girl's night, talk about everything. But in school we barely hung out. Back then, in my head, it was because a lot of people wanted to talk to her. I didn't see it as her not wanting me, she was just very popular, you know? One day I'm with her, other girls come and we all go to the bathroom, she looks at me and says: This is private, sorry. And I was left there.

I was rich, people WANTED to hang out with me but at the same time not. They LOVED inviting me to their parties because I gave the coolest gifts in the coolets wrapping. But they treated me as inferior. I hated that I didn't see it back then.

I have zero contact with people from my childhood since this day. Do they know how awful they were? I doubt it.

I did everything for that girl to like me, she did, but with conditions, she liked what I could offer her. She hated that she would eventually have to give me something back. This is important later on...

Of course I had other friends, the uncool people, in their eyes. And from trying so hard, unfortunately I also thought they were uncool. I hate that I felt that way about them, I was just mirroring what other people thought of me.

Teachers also bullied me. It looked like they did not even acknowleged me. I was a very good student but when I hit puberty and started feeling down from not having normal experiences like normal girls, I stopped trying for a while.

I loved PE, I loved soccer, volleyball, handball, I did swimming, ballet, all kinds of dances, piano, keyboard... which by the time I was 14, 15 I had quit everything. I started feeling what people thought of me. I wasn't good enough because I was not thin enough, or pretty enough in their eyes.

Here I have to add something, I am Latina, darker skin, brown eyes, brown, curly hair. My parents, white as milk, even though I look exactly like them, minus the hair, which comes from my grandpa. I was also bullied over that, there has always been a huge talk between kids and kids' parents if I was adopted, and they were not shy asking or saying or using that in a situation to bring me down. That öeft me with a huge sense of not belonging anywhere. If I were, would it change anything about my life? Not at all. Why is it that when people say it, it looks like it is something bigger than it is? Why do we give them so much power? Why did I? Why did I let them affect so much the course of my life?

I remember 6th grade, or was if 5th? I am a bit bad with times, when I think about those times, I clearly see them in my head, but I don't know exacly when they happened. My therapist calls this disengaging. Anyway... Science teacher, talking about whatever she was talking about said: Nowadays, only poor people are fat. And went on to explain why... the whole class looked at me and started laughing. Putting it into words sounds bad that I let it affect me so much, but at that time, at that age, it did.

Ballet... I loved it, I was good at it. I never got a score over 6. EVER. They just passed me because my parents were paying for the classes.

I have always been shy and a bit reclusive, this just made me feel worst. I would sit in a corner, hoping not to be seen, because if I am not seen, people won't make fun of me.

I realize that writting this might seem like I'm putting myself in some sort of victim of the society position, but I am writting this as a healing process for me. It is time I face my own self and maybe, hopefully let go and become the person I always knew I could be, I want to find her deep inside of me and I truly believe it is never too late.