#i'm typing in complete darkness and i'm too lazy to fix things

[rinatic]

In love with my roommate | Johnny Suh

Pairing: roommate!johnny x fem!reader

Genre: best friends, roommates, friends to lovers, angst and fluff.

Word count: 2k

Warnings: shirtless johnny

A/n: first attempt so pls be nice to me lol, hope y'all enjoy this :)

I rolled over in my bed and looked at the time on my cell phone. It was 9:30 p.m. and my twenty-minute power nap had accidentally turned into a two-hour snooze. I glanced out the window to check the weather conditions. It was completely dark with a lot of wind.

Definitely not the best time to jog around, but it would have to do. I really needed to walk to clear my mind from one thing.

My crush likes someone else.

And what is worse is my crush is, unfortunately, my roommate.

I threw off my blankets and pushed myself out of bed. I gave one good yawn with a long stretch then plopped back on my bed. Remembering that he told me he's going on a date today and might bring that girl he keeps talking about to our shared apartment.

He did leave early, so i suppose they're on their way to here? If so, i have to hurry up, i need to get dressed and be outside in like minutes. If i don't get my lazy ass off my bed and start dressing soon, I'll get to see him here with her.

And I don't want to see her.

I can't allow myself to because I'll know she'll become the person i hate the most, knowing myself, I'll probably blame her for every little thing that goes wrong in my life from the very moment i see her.

And I don't want to do that.

But how will I avoid her when she'll be the girlfriend of my roommate?

A knock on the door startled me. "Are you there, y/n? Can i enter?"

It's him, of course it's him, who would it be except that stupid boy i like?

I found myself fixing my posture as well as my fixing my hair. I hate to admit it but it became a habit to check if i look present and neat in front of him. "Yeah, come in." The door swung open slowly, and there stood Johnny, wearing nothing more than a towel that he wrapped around his waist, showing off his perfectly chiseled body. The towel looked like it will fall any moment.

Little water drops fell from his hair strands to his neck to his chest. I couldn't help but admire how fucking hot he looks right now.

I hope he did not notice me practically drooling over him. "You've been in your bed all day?" Yeah, depressed because you don't acknowledge me nor my feelings towards you, I thought. "Yeah, but I'm going to hang out with a friend, I'm gonna get ready.."

"At this hour? You goin' to a bar or somethin'?" Ugh. That's what I dislike about him. He's so nosy. He's the type to want to know everything, so annoying. I watched him as he went to my closet. "Can't I leave this house without telling you where I'm going?"

"I tell you everything, we're best friends so we shouldn't hide something from each other." He threw a glance at me over the shoulder then took my perfume. He had the audacity to come to my closet and steal this specific perfume everytime he has an important event to attend. Or specifically when he has a date.

Yes, I've suffered for the past two years from watching him going on countless dates. Bringing his girlfriends here and even fucking them here in his room that is right next to mine, i had to listen to it all night while crying silently. He really made me master crying without making any sound, it did became a talent.

He started spraying it on his body, he sprays too much, literally drenches himself in perfumes and it did make me anxious. You wouldn't stand being close to him, you'll get dizzy.

But i don't mind.

"I'm sure your girl will get dizzy if you keep spraying all that." I said. "Nah, you know girls love men who smell good."

I sighed. "I know but that's way too much- wait, you're still using my perfume even after what happened?" His ex girlfriend who was practically living with us here last summer fought with him over this, she thought he was cheating and broke up with him. I don't really understand how he thinks that putting my perfume on will make him attractive.

"I love the smell, okay?"

"Ugh, put it back, i have no time to buy another these days."

"Shut up, you use my stuff too." He put it back and ran his fingers through his soft black hair. I brought my attention to his face again. "I only took a hoodie, it was an emergency and i gave it back."

"Steal anything you want, y/n, there's no other girl that will take my things." I smiled upon hearing his words. "Yet." My smile dropped. And i hoped he didn't notice the dimness on my face since i just remembered his date.

i got up and left my bed untidy, pushing the thought away to the back of my head. While passing by him I ignored how hot he was and kept my attention on my closet. Picked a basic shirt and pants. Grabbed my hair essentials as well since he doesn't look like he'll get out any time sooner. "That outfit isn't enough, it's so cold outside."

I stopped mid walking. "It's fine, i don't get cold easily." I said with bored eyes. He left the room and i put my things on my bed and closed the door. Is he mad or something or did he want to give me space to change in my own room?

I finished dressing up quickly and let my hair loose on my shoulders. I turned the handle of the door and went searching for the keys.

Did he leave already?

I let out a big sigh as i felt my eyes welling up with tears. Did he really leave that fast? Without even saying goodbye? Does he hate me? I don't really understand why i still have a crush on him at this point. It's useless, I'm wasting my emotions and time when i could be doing something better.

"So you didn't wear a jacket, here.."

Two hands put a jacket on my shoulders. I turned around and he started helping me wear it properly. "You always get so cold, i can't stand seeing you shaking." He zipped it and smiled at me. "You look cute in my jacket."

I pretended I'm fixing my 'makeup' while I'm actually wiping my eyes. "Thanks, wear a one too."

"If i wear a jacket, my date won't notice my sexy body!" He argued playfully, i smiled at his stupid reason. "You look good anyways, you don't have to show your body."

I blurted these words out and bit my lip bottom, damn, did i just let him know that i acknowledge how good he looks?

"Why don't you walk with me to the nearby restaurant?" He said, ignoring the statement i said and I'm glad he did so, he raised his eyebrows and placed a grin on his lips, he always does that face to make me say yes. "Alright." I said. I bet he noticed how uninterested i am, maybe that will make him leave me alone.

He grabbed the keys. "You've been my best friend for a long time, y/n, so i want you to see my date." Hm. That's what I'm afraid of. I don't want to have a breakdown when i meet her. I know how weak i am when it comes to handling my emotions. "You're good at reading people, that's why i need you with me, babe."

Did this man just call me babe?

I ignored that feeling in my stomach and nodded. "Let's go!" He blurted happily and skipped to the building's gate. I sighed as i watched him waiting for me to come with a smile.

I wish the reason behind that smile was me.

Skipping a few stairs, then, i walked next to him, i put my hands in my pockets to keep them warm. He was weirdly quiet, usually johnny talks a lot. And he only stops if he's eating or thinking.

So i guess he's thinking of something.

"Why are you dressed so simple." I asked when i saw his outfit. Hw wore a pair of jeans and a sweater. "My date loves simple things, she isn't into fancy stuff." I hummed and brought my attention to the stores. I remember the last time we walked together here. It was last christmas i believe, we had this tradition of taking walks in December as a friendship thing because we met each other in December.

"We arrived." His voice brought me to reality. I looked at the restaurant. It was the restaurant we ate together a lot when we started attending college. Out of all restaurants in town, did he have really have to bring her here?

Why is he quiet? I waited for him to step inside but it looks like his legs got frozen. "Aren't you going to enter?" I asked. Waiting for a response. "she's not inside..."

Is she late to the date? Who's that stupid woman anyways to be late to a date with the johnny suh? If i were her i would've arrived thirty minutes earlier. I can't believe we're freezing in cold waiting for her to come. This alone says a lot about her. But it's good, maybe this will make him uninterested.

"...she's right next to me."

Huh? What did he say?

I looked to his other side. "Nah, she's not here, dumbo."

"If anyone is dumb then it's you, y/n." I furrowed my eyebrows. "Hey, from the moment we met till now i still manage to outsmart you in every situation."

"Yeah, it's obvious." He rolled his eyes. "Are you making fun of me?"

"Yes, because the girl i like is you, y/n."

What?

Did i hear him right?

WAIT.

....

"Huh.. it doesn't make any sense, can you please speak more clearly?"

"I literally just admitted i like you.." he looked at me and stopped talking for seconds, analysing my expression. "Well. It's shocking.."

"It's not, how can someone not fall for you." He got that flirty romantic look in his eyes and i immediately looked away shyly. I can't believe the words that are coming out of his mouth. Does he really like me? And if he did, why did he tortured me all this time?

"Well, i like you too." I admitted. Still not believing the fact that we just confessed to each other, but wait, what if this is a prank?

"I know you like me." I immediately darted my attention to him. "Huh? How did you know?!" I asked in disbelief. "You were obvious, y/n, you can't really hide your emotions."

I bit my lip in embarrassment. "But I'm kinda sad you didn't notice my crush on you." He said, pretending to be sad by doing an awfully cringy aegyo expression. "Like, i literally use your perfume only! I buy you lots of things too! I even tried to get a reaction from you by bringing girls in our dorm, but still nothing. You frustrated me to be honest."

"You're frustrated? Frustration is a weak word to describe how i felt! I wanted to kill you!" He raised his eyebrows. A little too surprised at my choice of words. "Still, I'm not in the wrong." He crosses his arms. "The problem is, i was so obvious, it's not my problem you didn't know i like you."

"How am i supposed to know when you're flirting with literally everyone?" He laughed. And even though i felt annoyed every time i remember it, i couldn't help but smile upon seeing him laugh. "You sound so bothered, i promise you i won't flirt with everyone from now on."

Thinking of us dating, i was too deep in my own thoughts that i didn't realize his hands on my arms. He grabbed me by the jacket and slammed his lips on mine softly, he finally kissed me the kiss i daydreamed about. I wrapped my hands around his neck. Playing with his hair as we kiss.

"Johnny, i think people are staring." I pulled away and whispered into his lips. "Don't pay attention, we can do what we want.." he smiled at me softly "we will do what we want." He connected our lips again, this time, i kissed him with no care in the world.

"I love you, even though you're stupid as hell to the point of not getting my hints."

"Did you just call me stupid?!"

"Sorry!"

[whimsymuse]

🌻85 TRUTHS TAG🌻

— rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

Thank you @notsoguiltykpop for tagging me in this. I’m sorry this took my so long, I wanted to answer sooner, but I didn’t have time and then it completely slipped my mind and stayed as a draft.

 I’ll tag @zigzagkyung, @jinsbangtan and @ibangtanthings if you guys want to do this. I wadded an 85th question because there wasn’t one and I wanted to know more stuff. :P

• Last:

1. Drink - Some creamsoda sodastream concoction

2. Phone call - My friend so that we could freaek out about something

3. Text message - My sister. We texting eachother after my mom yelled at her after someone else almost hit us with their car while my sister was backing out of a parking space.

4. Song you listened to - Don’t leave me ~ BTS

5. Time you cried - A few weeks ago I think, when I watched Coco with my sis

• Ever:

6. Dated someone twice - Nope (what is date???)

7. Kissed someone and regretted it - Yes. I kissed one person and I regret that being my first kiss.

8. Been cheated on - No, Ihaven’t dated sooo. People have cheated on my tests before. (If I wasn’t already nerdy enough)

9. Lost someone special - Yes

10. Been depressed - Yeah

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - No

• Fave colours:

12. A deep cerulean

13. Maroon

14. Peachy pink

• In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends - Yes

16. Fallen out of love - Yes, I think? Not sure if what i felt was love but ://

17. Laughed until you cried - Definitely

18. Found out someone was talking about you - Yes

9. Met someone who changed you - For sure

20. Found out who your true friends are - Yes

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list - Nope

• General:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl - Almost all of them, they’re all my family and friends.

23. Do you have any pets - No , but I have many plants

24. Do you want to change your name - Yes! My parents did this thing where they gave me two names and called me by my second name and I din;t know I had a first first name until I was 8 and it started mesing up my school files. I live both of my names, but now that people are calling me by both, I feel so detached from both names.

25. What did you do for your last birthday - Went to a board game cafe with some freinds. Let’s just say I will not be eating cake again anytime soon and that I am just as clumsy as my bias.

26. What time did you wake up today - 7:40 and its a weekend =.=

27. What were you doing at midnight last night - Reading fics probably.

28. What is something you can’t wait for - For me to be done all of these exams!!

30. What are you listening to right now - Distant cars driving down the highway and my fingers type on my laptop.

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - I spoke to a Tomas. I don’t think I met a Tom, but odds are I have.

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves - When people dragg metal across metal, or glass. Omlll I’m cringing just thinking about the sound.

33. Most visited website - Instagram or Tumblr I think

34. Hair colour - Dark brown with some lighter brown around the bottom

35. Long or short hair - Medium. I recently cut it myself for the first time beace I was bored.

36. Do you have a crush on someone - Nopee

37. What do you like about yourself - My ability to see the bright side of situations and people. It just makes life simpler and happier imo.

38. Want any piercings? - Yess! I want a couple small ones on my left earlobe and maybe a cartillage piecing.

39. Blood type - A+ (my parents asked why it doesn’t show in my math marks)

40. Nicknames - Bittah bittah, Caramel Macchiato, Brokoro, Half of the full moon (the better half)

41. Relationship status: Single

42. Zodiac - Aries

43. Pronouns - she/her

44. Fave tv shows - Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Avater the Last Airbender and Game of Thrones

45. Tattoos - No my parents would skin me alive

46. Right or left-handed - Right

47. Ever had surgery - No, though considering the amount of times i’ve hurt myself I should have by now.

48. Piercings - One in each ear, but I’m hoping to get more!

49. Sport - Yes! I used to by on my school’s volleyball team, until people got good and I couldn’t play at all in high school. I ADORE dodgeball (with the soft foam balls cause I refuse to whip the big rubber ones at people).

50. Vacation - I’m going to Europe for the first time this summer!

51. Trainers - No

• More general

52. Eating - Nothing, but now I’m hungry

53. Drinking - Nothing

54. I’m about to watch - My computer turn off casue I’m too lazy to get the charger

55. Waiting for- My exams to be over so that I can finally relax.

56. Want - To pass my exams and BTS tickets

57. Get married - Hopefully in the future. I want a family, but I also want to explore the world first, so we’ll see how things go.

58. Career - I want to work in something pertaining to international relations. I adore learning about and encountering different cultures and I reallyy want to help as many people as I can around the world.

• Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses - Hugs!

60. Lips or eyes - Eyes

61. Shorter or taller - I’ve fallen for both, so I don’t think that matters to me.

62. Older or younger - Older, but again, not a big deal to me. As long as you’re sweet and we’re both mentally on the same maturity level.

63. Nice arms or stomach - Arms. I see abs and the first thing I think is, ‘this person watches what they eat... Idk if we’ll do we’ll together’

64. Hookup or relationship - Relationship.

65. Troublemaker or hesitant - Troublemaker, but i keep falling for hesitant people.

• Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger - No

67. Drank hard liquor - Yes?

68. Lost glasses - No

69. Turned someone down - Okay, so quick story time: A guy approached me in the store while I was listening to my music with both earbuds on. I only realized he was talking to me and managed to take out my earbuds when he was already half done what he was trying to say and all I caught was, “very beautiful, and I just wanted to know if you were single.” And me being the awkward egg that I stuttered out a ‘s-sorry no’ and I wanted to just casually say that I’m not interested, but immediately after he said ‘oh you’re not single’ and stupid me said “N-no, I’m not interested.” GODDD it’s been a week and I still feel so bad!!!

70. Sex on the first date - No

71. Broken someone’s heart - Doubt it

72. Had your heart broken - Yes

73. Been arrested - No

74. Cried when someone died - Yes, it was for my grandma when I was 4, but I barely knew her so I was only crying becasue my mom was.

75. Fallen for a friend - Everyone I fall for starts off as a close friend (With one exception)

• Do you believe in

76. Yourself - Most of the time

77. Miracles - Yes

78. Love at first sight - I believe in profound attraction, but I think love is only felt after seeing someone at the best and worst and then caring for them so deeply regardless.

79. Santa Claus - Of course! My presents are on the line

80. Kiss on a first date - If I really like the person, sure. But I’m so awkward so probably not.

81. Angels - Sometimes. I’d like tot hink someone is watching over me.

• Other

82. Best friend’s name - Abby, Sharon and Sharu

83. Eye colour - Dark rown

84. Fave movie - Princess and the Frog/Tangled (I’m a child, but a child with taste)

85. Anything you recommend to check out? So I’m a huge nerd and recently got into dnd. If you’re into that, I’d check out The Adventure Zone podcast. If you’re into crazy medical history I’d recommed the Sawbones podcast!

[twstlotus]

Hi!! May I request scenario for Leona where the s/o is going back home and never coming back(+a fight before going)? I'm kinda in need of angst contents xD, of course if it's alright with you! Also I look forward to seeing your works in the future

Me: Ah, finally! The Great Seven seem to have blessed me with midterm break for a week. What’s in the inbox today?

The inbox: Angst, angst, angst, and more angst.

Me: Oh.

Content Warning: heartbreak, arguing, Leona sort of gaslighting S/O

Leona Kingscholar; “I’m never coming back.”

This was the day, you decided.

This was the day you absolutely must confront Leona about it.

You always held it all back—trying to see the best in the relationship you two built over time. Initially, it even seemed like a dream come true. You were with who you named “the love of your life”, you always recognized that Leona was no Prince Charming, that’s for sure, and you accepted him anyway. But now, it was too much for you to handle.

Leona had already fallen into a deep slumber when you slowly slid the door open to his room. He always did this. The first few times, maybe it was excusable. You saw it as him having difficulty to adjust to a new schedule with you (him being the lazy lion as is), but the third time he missed your dates? All because he wanted some sleep?

No more.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool me three times…

“Leona,” You called to him in a somewhat soft yet stern voice. His ear flickered soon after. A swing from his tail started before he arose from his slumber with half-lidded eyes that quizzed into a puzzled expression upon seeing your figure. “...Why are you in that fancy getup?” His tone was bored, unamused, a slight tinge of aggression was evident in his tone, probably because you just woke him up from his precious nap.

“Leona…,” You paused. Should you really tell him this? He already said before that he isn’t going to be the perfect boyfriend you dreamt of and there were likely going to be bumpy rides on the relationship, but still…

‘No.’ A voice in your mind firmly stated, your voice.

‘I have to tell him.’

Your lips tugged to a frown and your fist began to ball. “You missed our date. Again.” The words left your tongue were confident and stern, yet there were traces of your voice wavering as well. “This is the third time, Leona. I thought we already agreed that you’d come. I was waiting for 45 minutes and you didn’t even bother showing up!” Tears began to prick your eyes as your voice grew louder, enough to knock the lion out of his daze.

He sent a hand up to his forehead as he sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his temple, a somewhat distressed expression noticeable on his face. “Yeah, yeah. I know, I’m sorry, okay? It won’t happen again…” A yawn barely escaped his lips at the end of his sentence. Honestly, at this point, you didn’t even know if he felt sorry for what he did. “I know it won’t happen again,” Another pause in your voice. You mustered up every courage you had left to say what you planned to say, and when you finally did,

“...Because I’m breaking up with you.”

The words left your lips with a wish that it would lift off the heavy weight that strained your heart. But instead, it now felt heavier than before.

Leona immediately shot his head up to your shaking figure. His eyes are as wide as plates, but quickly narrow down as his eyebrows do. “What the hell did you just say?” His voice is dark, furious, yet, even so, there’s a hint of fear in it.

“I said I’m breaking up with you.” You reaffirm.

“Hah! You’ve found someone else, haven’t you?” He begins to yell out. “Who is it? Jack?! I’ve seen that mutt around you more often than usual, you reek of his scent. Or—no, Ruggie?!” Your eyes eventually lower to an object, or the sky—anything. Anything but the man who you once truly loved. Once.

He catches hold of your disregard to his words and only turns more livid by the minute. “Oi! Don’t you dare look away when your king is talking to you, herbivore! Answer me, who is it?!”

“You don’t have anyone but yourself to blame, Leona,” you state as firmly as possible, but you avoid sounding angry or anything of the sort, “You never act responsible in the relationship! Hell, this is the third time you missed our date, and in a row!” You list off. Leona looks at you with a furious expression, teeth bared and eyes glaring—still, you hold your ground. 

“You’re always arrogant and lazy, and you never even seem to want to make up for it! You complain, complain, complain—but you don’t even look like you want to fix whatever problem you have. Meanwhile, I have to take responsibility for anything you want to do, just because you’re too lazy to do it! We never even get to do anything outside of the house and I always have to bend my needs and interests just so we can do whatever you want!” So much for trying to sound calm. You huffed for air after finishing your sentence.

There was a small trace of regret in Leona’s eyes—it was a blink and you miss type of moment. Still, he hardened his gaze at you before letting out a dark laugh. It was like the one he let out when he was nearing his Overblot before.

“So that’s it? You’re leaving me? Just because of what I did? It’s not like you never messed up either,” his pride began to envelop him. His words burnt and hurt your heart like fire pricking at your skin, and he knew it, yet, even so, he still felt unable to truly own up to his actions.

“Oh, piss off! It’s not like I messed up as much as you did! Yes, I admit that I made some mistakes a few times, but at the very least I had the decency to admit it.” Tears began to quickly run down your cheek as you yelled at the man who you once loved, and he only grew more livid as the seconds pass.

What should have been a short agreement then turned into what seemed like hours of endless arguing, going back and forth on who’s fault it was and what each partner did wrong.

At this point, you couldn’t even remember what made you fall in love with him.

You raised your hands defeatedly with a long, exasperated sigh. “That’s it.” Was all you muttered before you began gathering your things that you kept in Leona’s room. “..What are you doing?” He asked, his tone still laced with aggression.

“I’m leaving.”

“What?”

“I said I’m leaving. I’m going home,” you held back from completely sobbing in front of him. Your mind was on auto-pilot at this point. You weren’t sure if this was the right decision, where would you go? Where can you stay?

But your heart knew that any place was better than the one you were in.

“And I’m NEVER coming back here.” You stated through stifled sobs before slamming the door to his room shut, thus ending your relationship with him with a heavy heart and a loud shut on his door.

“FINE. Leave then! I don’t need pesky herbivores like you on my territory, and don’t come back here again!” He yelled loudly. His voice easily being heard outside of his room, and by extension, heard by the other Savanaclaw members, too.

Despite how he reacted, Leona knew both you and him would never be the same again, and he had never been in so much utter pain in hearing those five words.

He’d never be able to hear your cheerful laughter at his jokes. Never be able to feel your calming caresses on his cheek. Never be able to feel the sweet taste of your lips ever again.

For when he lost your heart, he lost everything he loved.

[thedemisedroyal]

Dangerous Betrayal | TVD/TO

The Vampire Diaries & The Originals

AU Story

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓

𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝙾𝙽 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙵𝙾𝚄𝚁!

In alone scenes, scenes with other celestial beings, or when it revolves around her past memories, she will be referred to as Jordan, but when she is with the cast of TVD/TO she is referred to as Esme. Just a heads up to any confused people.

- a u t h o r

• E S M E •

"You are a disgrace to the Tesni name! You do not belong here anymore. You are here by banished from the Void! You will be taken to Heaven til further notice." Her mother's voice boomed through the giant throne room, the princess felt her heart drop, more tears flooding her eyes, soon following down her face.

She shook her head furiously,"Please mother! Please!" She begged and pleaded but they fell on deaf ears. The princess eyes widened as her father walked towards her with The First Blade in hand. Her father had a furious and disgusted look on his face as he grabbed his youngest child's hair and pulled her out to her feet.

"Father please, I beg of you!" She whispered, her voice trembling with fear, but he didn't answer. He only struck the blade through his daughters chest, she gasped, her eyes flashing a pure golden-yellow, shining within the light, but soon it was consumed by a fiery orange.

Her silver hair was pushed back as the sky door beneath her opened, revealing a pure black portal, which was glistening. It was a portal that lead anyone to the new place named Heaven. "Please." She muttered one last time before her father pulled out the blade that was sticking out of her chest, and pushed her into the portal. As she fell the princess reach out for her father, who simply walked away from the sight.

Soon the doors closed, revealing the sky doors to be in a shape of a dragon, their family sigil.

Jordan gasped as she rose from the bed abruptly, putting a hand on her chest, breathing heavily as past memories flashed in her mind. She turned her head to face her clock, it read 4:38 AM, it was insanely early, the sun wasn't even out yet.

Jordan laid back down, her heart slowly calming down as she closed her eyes and took deep breaths. "God, I hate this." She whispered, living these types of life's sucked, and the goddess just wanted it to stop already. For the billionth time, probably more but Jordan has lost count, she was reborn at the mere age of five minutes in the life of Esme Gilbert. For the past ten years she has lived as the Gilbert girl, feeling all the pain, all the sadness, every bit of it.

The goddess looked at the clock once more, sighing loudly as she had to go to school for the hundredth time. She despised it, but the princess herself tried to keep telling herself that maybe this life might have some pizzazz to it, and not just a normal, mundane life she had lived too many times.

And just like that, the goddess closed her eyes and forced herself back to sleep, trying not to think of her vicious cycle, now frowning at the thought of the first day of high school.

***

Jordan groaned loudly as the annoying beeping from her alarm clock filled her room. Jordan roughly hit the top of her clock, stopping the beeping, but the Gilbert was wide awake, with a pillow over her head, her tangled brown hair spread all over the bed. "Dammit." She muttered, though it was quite muffled as she was faced down.

The wavy brown haired girl pushed the pillow off of her head and threw the blanket off her body. Getting up while rubbing her eyes to try and wipe the sleep off. She yawned loudly, stretching as she stood up from her bed, the cold floor sending electric waves to her feet that kind of woke her up.

"I hate life." Jordan pronounced to a empty room, grabbing her healthcare supplies and making way to the bathroom to start the horrid day.

***

Jordan looked at herself in the full body mirror she had in her room, trying to find any imperfection. She looked good in the outfit Esme's, well her, best friend Caroline Forbes, had picked for her about a week ago. Jordan slightly smile as she topped it off with her rose gold, moonstone ring that was a friendship ring, which Caroline also had. And a silver crescent moon necklace with a blood moon pendant to the side of it, which she got during her fourteenth birthday

Jordan smiled, quickly fixing her bed, picking up her room, tidying it up as she didn't want to do it later in the day when she is tired and extremely lazy. "Okay, let's do this." She spoke to herself, grabbing her satchel and heading downstairs with the rest of her family.

***

"Toast. I can make toast." Esme's Aunt Jenna spoke to Elena in the kitchen, opening one of the top cabinets, looking over her shoulder to look at Elena, who was pouring herself a cup of coffee. "It's all about the coffee, Aunt Jenna." Elena nonchalantly spoke as she poured her coffee, not looking back.

"Is there coffee?" Jeremy and Esme both asked in unison, walking to the kitchen. The younger daughter separated from her little brother, walking towards the cupboard with the coffee mugs, pulling two of them, for Elena and her, knowing Jeremy would take Elena's.

Elena scoffed quietly as Jeremy took her mug, Turing around to grab another one when she was met with Esme already holding one, smiling. Elena sent one back, taking the mug and pouring herself, then one for her sister. "Your first day of school and I'm totally unprepared." Jenna spoke frantically, going to her back to grab her wallet. She pulled out three twenties, walking towards the trio, holding out her hands,"Lunch money?" She questioned, Elena and Esme shook their head,"I'm good." Esme spoke first,"Same." Elena followed, though Jeremy gladly took one of the twenties.

"Anything else? A number two pencil? What am I missing?" The aunt asked herself and the kids, putting the remaining twenties back into her wallet. Esme furrowed her brows, tilting her head a bit, "Don't you have a big presentation today?" The youngest daughter asked, sipping her semi-hot coffee. Jenna sighed, looking at her watch"I'm meeting with my thesis advisor at...now. Crap!" Jenna exclaimed, taking her hair out of the flimsy bun.

Elena spoke up,"Then go. We'll be fine." She reassured, Jenna sent a quick smile and quickly walked away, leaving the three alone. Elena and Esme looked at each other, both communicating with their eyes alone. The youngest twin nudged her head forward, taking a quick glance at their brother, Elena nodded, turning to Jeremy. "You okay?" Elena asked, Jeremy rolled his eyes at his two older sisters,"Don't start." Scoffing as he walked away with his coffee in hand.

Elena looked down,"Don't worry Le, he'll come around soon." Esme sent a small smile towards her sister, who gave a sad one back. The two talked before they all had to leave for school. Elena was going with Bonnie while Esme walked to the park to wait for her best friend, as she was strictly instructed to do so. And she knew Caroline, she wouldn't let her live this down if Esme is late.

***

"Are you sure you're okay?" Caroline questioned her childhood best friend for the hundredth time, Esme giggled and nodded her head. "Yes care-bear, I'm completely fine, you don't have to worry, I've got you." Esme playfully told, the two shared a laugh and continued to walk through the crowded high school hallway.

The two had locked arms, unknowingly walking towards Elena and Bonnie by the lockers, Caroline separated from the youngest daughter of the Gilbert's and to the oldest Gilbert daughter. "Elena. Oh, my god. How are you?" Caroline took the eldest Gilbert into a hug, pulling back swiftly, coming face to face,"Oh, it's so good to see you." She spoke in a calming voice.

The blonde turned to the Bennet,"How is she? Is she good?" Asking her, Elena furrowed her brow a bit,"Caroline," The blonde looked back to the brunette,"I'm right here. And I'm fine. Thank you." Elena reassured her other best friend, nodding her head with a fake smile plastered. "Really?" Caroline asked once more, making Esme shake her head.

"I've been trying to reassure her but she won't listen." Esme finally made her way to the three, "Hey squeakers." Bonnie teasingly said, Esme rolled her eyes playfully,"Hi to you too, branch." Bonnie playfully glared, but she broke into a smile, bringing the younger twin into a hug. The two were also close, well, then again, all four of them were.

Caroline smiled at Elena, bringing her into one last hug, "Oh you poor thing." The Forbes softly spoke, pulling back from the hug quickly, as the first bell would soon ring and she wanted the best seats for her and Esme. "See you guys later? Lunch?" Caroline asked, Bonnie and Elena nodded, a genuine smile on their faces from their bubbly friend,"Yes!" Bonnie exclaimed happily, Elena nodding.

"Okay bye! Come on Esme, we need the best seats!" Caroline dramatically explained, locking arms with her and dragging her along. Esme laughed, waving to her sister and other best friend, they waved back,"See you at lunch!" Bonnie and Elena agreed, quickly saying goodbye.

***

"I was thinking we should head to the grill for a girls night." Caroline spoke as she reapplied her lipstick, she and Esme were by her lockers for a quick book pickup and fixation of her appearance. Esme nodded,"Sure, if you want. Though I might have to ask Jenna." The brunette talked to the blonde, looking towards to see she wasn't listening at all. But her eyes were glued to a person, a boy, who Esme never recognized before.

Jordan's eyes flashed a scarlet red for half a mili-second, a voice in the back of her head speaking in a hush whisper, "Vampire". Jordan felt her heart race, what the hell was that? The goddess doesn't have powers, they were stripped away when she was turned into this dimension. But the woman didn't think about for to long, as she knew exactly who this was, Stefan Salvatore, just like in the file she had gotten when the goddess switched into this dimension. He matched the description it put, dirty blonde hair, dark green eyes, supposed to show up on the first day back.

The goddess didn't know his purpose nor his life story, just his name, his hair and eyes, and that he had a brother named Damon Salvatore, she wasn't given a lot information about the man, which was odd in her case. She would have kept on thinking if it wasn't for that damn bell, "Come on Care, let's get to class!" Esme spoke with a big smile, locking arms with the blonde who was in a slight trance. Caroline snapped out of it, nodding frantically,"Yeah, come on." Soon the two made their way to the first class...math.

***

Elena laughed as Esme fell down to the ground, right on her butt. The younger twin glared at the older twin,"I hate you." She muttered, Elena rolled her eyes, shaking her head,"No you don't Me, no you don't." Elena repeated playfully, sending a sarcastic smirk her way.

(Me is pronounced May, that's Elenas nickname for Esme, she's the only one that calls her that. And Esme calls Elena Le, pronounced Lay, sorry for any confusion."

The eldest son got up from her sister bed, walking towards her mirror to check her face, making sure she didn't rub any makeup of hers. Elena smile as she looked behind her in the mirror, seeing her little sister wiping her butt, already off the floor. "Thanks for the help Le." Elena turned around to see a scowling Esme, "You are very welcome, my dear little sister!" Elena laughed more, but squealed as Esme started to chase her around the room, though Esme already had a plan.

She waited until Elena was near the door, then kicking her history book she hadn't put away yet, making it slide through the floor and right next to Elenas feet, who hadn't even noticed the large book as she was looking behind her. Due to the lack of sight, Elena fell harshly, on her side. Making Esme laugh out loud,"You are very welcome, my dear big sister!" Esme exclaimed, holding her stomach as she fell to the floor, laughing. Elena groaned as she pushed herself up,"Oh my god, that was priceless!" Esme giggled, standing up.

"C-Come on Le, w-we g-gotta go already." Esme stuttered, trying to contain her laughter, Elena glared as she stood up as well,"Imma get you back for that!" She grumbled, rubbing her shoulder, trying to soothe the slight aching feeling. Esme wiped her eyes that were wet with tears,"Yeah, okay, sure you will."

The two soon composed themselves, leaving the room and heading downstairs, playfully bumping shoulders with each other as they walked down the stairs. The twins had their coats in hand, passing their aunt Jenna with smiles on their faces. "We're meeting Bonnie and Caroline at the grill." They quickly informed the guardian.

"Okay, have fun. Wait," Both brunettes swiftly turned around,"I got this. Don't stay out late, it's a school night." Jenna pronounced with a smile, the twins sent smiles her way. Elena chucked,"Well done, Aunt Jenna." She spoke happily, Esme sent a playfully soldier salute. The aunt parted ways with the twins, a satisfied look upon her face.

As Jenna left, Esme and Elena made way to the front door, ready for their little night out. Elena grabbed the door, unlocking it and opening it, slightly gasping as she was face to face with Stefan. "Sorry, I was about to knock." Stefan spoke in a soft tone. Esme heard the voice and she recognized it. She would have seen him if she wasn't putting on her jacket, she closely listened it before making her presence known.

"I wanted to apologize for my disappearing act earlier. I know it was..strange." Stefan said, his voice was kind of low and rough, sending a smile to her twin. Elena shrugged her shoulders,"I get it, blood makes you squeamish." The two shared a quick and brief laugh. Esme soon lost her train of though whilst listening.

Her mind was thinking,"What did he want with her." He was clearly a vampire, as her power detected pretty easily. There has to be a point to why he was here, and why he had a interest to Elena. And most importantly, was it something bad? Was it good..that's a long shot.. She quickly broke out of thought when she saw her sister walk away, turning her head to see a standing Stefan, looking at the doorframe.

Esme quickly put on her facade, plastering a smile and walking towards the door,"Stefan?" Thank god Caroline talked to him during the fourth and third period, otherwise she would have blown her cover. Stefan furrowed his brows, "Hey Esme, what are you doing here." The vampire questioned,"I live here actually, I see you are acquainted with my sister?" She questioned back, Stefan opened his mouth t speak, but didn't speak for a couple of seconds, thinking thoroughly.

"Talked here and there, came here to give back her journal." Stefan responded with a small smiled, Esme was about to respond but she heard someone walking towards her,"You guys know each other?" Elena asked, putting on her jacket, Esme and Stefan gave each other's quick glance,"Met each other in fourth and third." The youngest Gilbert daughter quickly explained.

Elena smiled,"Caroline?" Esme laughed a bit, nodding her head, muttering a quick 'Yup' in response. Stefan cleared his throat, catching the attention on the twins,"Sorry, were you guys going somewhere?" Elena nodded her head, walking more towards the Salvatore. "Yeah, we're going to meet friends. Do you want to come?" Elena asked, locking eyes with the green eyed boy. Esme slightly smiled, looking at the two. Maybe things might not be so bad..maybe?

[mrsrhys23]

Be alright (chapter five)

Paring: Colt x MC

A/N: All characters belong to Pixelberry. Thank you so much @desireepow-1986 for Helping me!

“So that’s it?” You’re really doing this?”

“That’s it,” she shrugged. “We’re over.”

The pair of them stood in shocked silence. Ellie could hear her heart thudding in her rib cage, like it was going to burst right out of it. Colt prayed that he’d just misheard her. Yes, he was a prick, he’d made an unbelievable amount of dick moves but...he loved her. More than he’d ever loved anyone.

Colt looked up from the floor to her. “You’re really doing this then?” He asked, tears glistening in his eyes. Colt rarely cried over anything, that was just his hard, bad boy facade.

For a long sickening moment she thought that she was making a mistake but...it was the right thing to do. Deep down she knew that. Ellie shook her head, banishing the thought as she gathered enough strength, enough resolve to lock eyes with him. “That’s it,” her voice was quiet, maybe a little defeated as she spoke. “Now get out.”

Colt stayed fixed in place. He opened his mouth to speak but decided against it and shut it again. Ellie looked back up from the floor seeing he’d made no attempt to move whatsoever.

“GET OUT!” She screamed at him, any sense of vulnerability that was laced there when she had just spoken was gone, not a trace left. He- they had both royally fucked up and any hope of recovering from this was gone. “Just get out,” she said, quietly this time but still loud enough for Colt to still be able to hear.

Colt unexpectedly decided not to fight back Ellie's decision and left without another word.

********

It had been three weeks, three agonisingly long weeks without each other. It was funny now Ellie thought about it, they hadn't spent a day without each other for a year. He was just always there, someone she could rely on, someone to lean on when things got hard...he was her crutch when her world felt like it was crumbling, but now he wasn’t there anymore.

It was almost like a piece of her was missing, like a chasm in her chest that she knew only he could seemingly fill.

“Get up!” Riya ordered, pushing into Ellie’s room, avoiding the clothes, used plates and other random items that lay scattered across her bedroom floor. Riya opened the curtains with a flourish letting that harsh light pour in, temporarily blinding her and just earning a lazy groan from Ellie as she retreated further under her blankets, shielding the light completely.

“Ellie,” Riya said, Ellie not missing the frustration laced in her voice as her covers was yanked off of her. Ellie let out an aggravated groan as she curled herself into a ball, putting her hands over her closed eyes to further shield them from the blinding sunlight.

She felt the bed dip as Riya took a seat beside her, leaning against the headboard. “You can’t hide from the world forever.”

“I can and I will,” she insisted.

“Ellie....He’s one boy in a whole world of others. There’s other fish in the sea as they say. Maybe you should get yourself back out there?” Ellie sat up slightly, leaning on her elbows to give her best friend a death glare. “...Maybe not then. You can’t just stay cooped up in here all day, you look awful-”

“Thanks,” Ellie mumbled.

“Seriously when was the last time you showered?” Riya continued.

“You really know how to make a girl feel special, don't you?” Ellie snapped.

“El-”

“No,” she interrupted, “I- I don’t want to ‘get myself back out there’, it hasn't even crossed my mind. I don't need the break up speech where you say it’s gonna get better or i’m gonna find someone else, okay? I’d rather just stay here and wallow in my own self pity, okay?”

Riya sighed, climbing off of her bed and turning to look down at her, “Ellie...you need to move on, sooner or later, it’s been three weeks.”

“I know,” she shrugged, “Can you pass me back my blanket on your way out, please?”

Riya scoffed, making her disapproval known as she sauntered toward the door, throwing Ellie back her blanket before leaving, closing the door more harshly than she originally intended to.

Ellie turned over onto her side and grabbed her phone from her bedside table. She brought it to her face, pressing the home button to illuminate the screen. She felt her heart pang when she saw the photo of herself and Colt.

She felt her heart pang with...something, this was a feeling she had never felt before. She felt almost...empty, lost. Colt for her was the glimmer of light at the end of the long dark tunnel, guiding her safely out from it when the darkness threatened to drown her, but now there was no light at the end, nothing to anchor her down when her mind began to run with the hard thoughts, nothing to help fight off her demons and so the darkness could finally get its claws in.

**********

He sat in a bar...again. He’d been at the garage all day, the one place that once granted him tranquillity no longer did, because it reminded him of her. Everything did. She was a constant thought in his mind and it was driving him insane. She wasn’t his anymore, she was...nothing to him now. Just somebody he used to know.

He sat on a stool by the bar, a pint clutched in his hand, a wave of emotion washed over him but receded.

It had been a couple weeks now and he wasn’t over it. He doubted he ever would be.

Something in his peripheral vision caught his attention, he turned to see a blonde woman, wearing a tight black dress, now standing beside him.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” She asked. There was no preamble, no niceties of an introduction, just went straight in.

Colt opened his mouth to speak then shut it again. She was looking at him quizzically so he just answered. “I-no. No, I don’t,” Colt stuttered. It felt like someone had struck him in the chest with a dagger and was twisting it. Just another reminder that he had lost they only thing that he ever really loved.

“What’s your name?” She asked. It was an innocent question but Colt had an inkling that somehow it was more than that.

“I’m interested,” Colt insisted and he truly wasn’t. She was pretty, he wouldn't deny that.

“Fine,” She shrugged. He expected her to...fight him on this somehow, to object, maybe she was playing a mind game, trying to make him drop his guard ever so slightly so he’d give in. She was the type of girl Colt was certain that even if he had said he had a girlfriend she just would’ve carried on. “But tell me your name.”

“Colt. What’s yours?” Why are you humouring her?

“Carrie,” she said, biting at the bottom of her lip. She pulled up a stool to sit beside him.

It was going to be a long night and frankly he couldn't be bothered to head to another bar, he liked this one, he was content and some random girl wasnt going to change that.

“So are you from LA?” She asked, sipping at her drink that Colt hadn't noticed she had ordered. Some people just don’t understand no, do they?

“Yeah,” Colt mumbled. “You?” he asked, purely out of politeness.

“I’m actually from Brooklyn. I moved here a few years ago…” For god's sake, he didn't need her life story but he had a sneaking suspicion that even if he objected to hearing it, she’d continue. “I’m trying to become a model, I can act too. My dad-”

Rich dad, called it- he thought. He drowned the rest of it out.

She's annoying. You know when you want the ground to just open up and swallow you whole? Yeah, that’s how Colt felt. It was getting hard to drown her whiny- and it was whiny, voice out.

************

Riya somehow had managed to get Ellie out of bed after once again stealing her blankets. She climbed out, her bare feet meeting the plush cream carpet beneath her. A piece of hair had seemed to become a permanent fixture to the side of her cheek, stuck on by whether sweat or drool. She gingerly ripped it off and headed to the bathroom.

After she had done her business, Ellie headed into the kitchen to see Riya making them both a drink. She leaned against the countertop, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You know I care about you, right?” Riya asked, placing Ellie’s coffee down beside her and then sat down on a stool against the breakfast counter.

“I never said you didn't,” Ellie mumbled, picking up her mug, blowing on the hot liquid before taking a sip.

Riya did the same, then looked up from her mug to her best friend. “Break-ups… suck there’s no other way to put it but-”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Riya nodded. She knew Ellie well enough to know when to drop something. Even though she knew they needed to have this conversation sooner or later. “I was gonna order a pizza, do you want some?” Ellie shook her head as she sipped at her drink. “Don’t do that control thing you do when-”

“I’m not and I broke up with him. I dumped Colt.”

“And you know you made a mistake. Having second thoughts?” Riya asked, sipping her own drink.

Ellie hesitated then shook her head, “No. No, I'm not having second thoughts. I broke up with him, I made that decision because it was the best one.”

“Of course,” Riya nodded.

“Are you trying to piss me off right now?”

She looked up to Ellie, “I want you to talk to me. I’m your friend, I'm here for you, you’ve just need to let me in.”

“Let’s go to a bar, “Ellie suggested, pushing herself off the counter.

What?” Riya asked, eyebrows raised and her arms crossed over her chest. “We’re not old enough to drink, do you forget that?”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “I have a fake ID. It’s fine,” she insisted. Riya looked unsure which caused Ellie to become frustrated. “Fine, i’ll go by myself,” she decided and headed off toward Riya's spare bedroom to change.

A few minutes later she left the bedroom now wearing a pair of black jeans, matching crop top and a denim jacket since all her nice clothes were at Colt's apartment.

“You’re really going?”

“Yes, I’m really going,” Ellie answered, exasperated as she retrieved her purse off the kitchen countertop. “I need to just get out for a bit,” she explained as she headed towards the door, “I’ll be back later!” she called as Riya heard the door open and close.

******

Ellie entered the bar with very little trouble; it was surprisingly not all that busy , which meant as soon as she came in the doorway she caught sight of a familiar black, leather jacket and the back of a head of someone she didn’t want to see. Colt. She’d recognize him anywhere- she knew him so, so well. He’s the reason that she’s in this bar to begin with to drown away her sorrows.

She felt a little bit of bile rise up her throat as a blonde woman sat beside him leaned over and placed a kiss on his lips. Without thinking, Ellie turned on her heel and walked out, not sticking around long enough to see Colt pull away from the mysterious woman.

She kept walking when she felt, she didn't know where she was going, she just wanted to get away. Get away and pretend she didn’t see that. How could he move on so quickly? Did she mean so little to him?

Ellie was in such a state of shock that she hadn’t noticed somebody behind her as she continued along the dark streets of LA. After she had calmed down somewhat, she could hear another set of footsteps, however, she didn't have time to turn around to see who it was before something struck her around the back of the head and the world fell black.

********

The first thing Ellie felt as she clawed her way back to consciousness was the throbbing in the back of her head, like somebody had hit her with a bat or something...someone probably had the more she thought about it.

She tried to flutter her eyes open but the bright light that was pointing at the young woman only made her headache worse. She lifted her head up- feeling the ache in her neck since her chin had been resting against her chest when she was out. Her mouth was dry...How long had she been here? She tried to move her arms but the thick leather straps around her wrists bound tightly to the chair stopped her from doing that. She tried moving her legs but they were bound to the chair too.

She had some questions.

Where was she? How did she get there?

To be frank, she had more questions than that but they were the main one. The ones she really wanted to be answered that and why somebody fucking kidnapped her. Ellie grudgingly peeked her eyes back open giving them both time to adjust to the light.

She turned her head when she heard footsteps, heels clicking against the concrete as the woman made her way towards Ellie.

“Oh good you’re awake,” the mysterious woman rejoiced. She was way too happy for Ellie’s liking.

The woman crouched in front of Ellie’s chair. Ellie’s eyebrow’s wrinkled in confusion- she had seen this woman before. She was sure of it.

“Hello Ellie,” the woman said, giving her a small smile, “I know you’re probably confused and angry...but i promise it’ll all make sense soon.”

“Who are you?” Ellie asked, her normally strong voice now timid.

The woman got back to her feet, smoothing down her red dress. “As i said...it’ll make sense soon.”

[edelest]

blue lions recruiting plot fix!

hey fe3h fans! it’s been a while... sorry!

previously on this ongoing series: i made a post trying to give reason to why the students would join black eagles, because some people just couldn’t settle for “they’ll follow byleth anywhere.” someone requested a similar post to this, where i’ll be justifying why some black eagles and golden deer students’ll still be in blue lions post-time skip! my next post will be lions + eagles with golden deer :) please enjoy! and Yes, i DO stan edelgard.

here’s the link to my black eagles recruiting plot fix ~

petra: it took me a while to actually figure out why petra would join blue lions—hence the writer’s block that prolonged this post—but then i remembered the support between shamir and petra, and it hit me: petra doesn’t like the empire. and you might be thinking, petra doesn’t like them empire but trusts edelgard! see, that’s the thing. she TRUSTED edelgard. to be in a foreign land, completely vulnerable, she put her whole trust in edelgard (and others as well) only to find out that edelgard had been plotting to start this war behind her back all this time would crush her. she’d be hit with the memories of her people dying by the hands of the empire’s soldiers, only this time she’d witness the slaughtering commanded by edelgard, who broke her trust. in one of her conversations after war during battle, she says that she used to be a hostage (not sure if hostage, prisoner, or something else) but that it wasn’t the case anymore. she Admits that she was a captive of the empire through that conversation, which all the more supports my theory.

dorothea: dorothea makes me heart break, whenever i recruit her into blue lions/golden deer. dorothea went through a lot growing up, and went through a lot jusy to get into the officer’s academy as well. she puts her (incomplete) trust in her classmates and professor and hopes for a peaceful (with a rich noble in mind). even in her support conversations, she hints that she wouldn’t mind a future with edelgard. but dorothea is scared. scared of bloodshed, battles, and war. she doesn’t outright say it, but in a ton of her support conversations or any conversation you have with her, right before time skip and post time skip, she often finds herself wishing for peaces and she’s often sentimental over past memories. even when she levels up post time skip: "Feels like fighting is all there is." "I'm growing, but at what cost?" "All this power just to survive." dorothea hates the war, and it’s taking a toll on her happiness, of course she’d be afraid to join edelgard, the one who started the war.

ferdinand: ferdinand’s always wanted to one-up edelgard, probably due to either his father or his competitive spirit. so when the war breaks out and ferdinand loses everything because his father is stripped of his rank, ferdinand of course would want nothing more than to defeat edelgard and stop the war, to stop the unnecessary bloodshed caused by his self proclaimed rival. ferdinand would join byleth to save fodlan and at the same time prove his self worth... for years, trying to prove to himself that he IS as stronf as he says and that he’s strong enough to protect people. it’s always him trying to prove his worth; he says it himself when you battle him at the great bridge of myrddin. he says something along the lines of “maybe now edelgard will see my worth.” instead of trying to prove his worth to himself, he tries to prove it to edelgard. which only shows that he still cares for edelgard’s opinion after all these years, just that it changed to wanting recognition and acknowledgement.

linhardt: linhardt is scared of blood, and unnecessary fighting. his own morals are changed through the battles he goes through at garreg mach (i.e. remire village.) linhardt doesn’t want a war, he wants to nap and research about crests, and other things that interest him. he’d follow byleth and dimitri because he at the start knew that byleth would want peace and to stop the bloodshed, and he’d be glad to hear that dimitri was changed and now wants to protect fodlan as well. linhardt may not seem like he cares about much (he really doesn’t,) but he knows when something isn’t right. he knows that these people don’t have to die.

caspar: caspar grew up to protect people, not hurt them. in more instances than one, he gets angry for not being able to join certain missions or gets angry at certain people for simply being evil. he has a heart of gold, and a sense of chivalry that puts him right in with the blue lion class. his sense of righteousness is what pushes him to believe that dimitri can change, and that dimitri will change fodlan. he believes that blue lions is where he belongs, because it’s where people are most like him. hearts of gold, hearts of bravery... all around him. he’s welcome there. and he knows they can stop this reign of massacre.

bernadetta and marianne: i put these two in the same category due to similar reasons, both are shy and tend not to speak up for things and would rather not be involved in a war. imagine them out there, fighting edelgard’s fight when all they want to do is be at peace with life and live life in mundanity. they’re pushed into this world of madness against their own will, and are forced to kill or be killed. bernadetta literally says “Wish I could've at least died at home...not in this big, stupid field...” and all edelgard says is thank you for everything or something like that. bernadetta deserved better than that, she deserved to at least die happy. and marianne deserves a life where she doesn’t need to live in fear of the unknown everyday. let my shy girls live and be happy, for goddess’ sake!

leonie: we all know why leonie would join blue lions. leonie is against this war, she lives to protect those who can’t protect themselves, just like jeralt did. she will fight for what is right, and she’ll fight with those she knows will fight. claude tried to stay neutral for 5 whole years of the war. this is of course madness, as leonie is the type to believe in the ideology of helping those who can’t help themselves if you know you can have the power to assist. leonie would be mad at claude for staying neutral, because being neutral is being nearly as bad as the one causing turmoil. in cases of war, neutrality is ignorance, and leonie will do nothing other than fight for what is right.

lysithea: she would join the cause of faerghus for one crucial thing: her freedom. and you might be thinking, “of course everyone is fighting for their freedom it’s a goddamn war, op!” but here’s the thing, lysithea spent her childhood trapped in house ordelia, her and her siblings being tested on by those who sliter in the dark, her parents being powerless in the situation at hand, causing her to live her life being tortured in a prison-like environment, everyday wondering if this is how her life will be, or if she’ll die like the others. she was trapped, and pre-timeskip we see her do so many activities and try to quickly learn so many things. why? because she wants to catch up on all those years she lost in house ordelia. that’s why i sympathize with her when claude teases her for being young even if it’s only done in a humorous manner, lysithea has been through so much that she at least deserves respect (and yes, i know claude was unaware of it pre-timeskip, let me be emo.) when lysithea finds out about the war, she’d be struck with fear of being imprisoned by the empire again (at the time she didn’t know that TWSITD weren’t soldiers of the empire.) she’d join the cause of the rebellion, choosing to fight instead of staying neutral. her position (house ordelia) is of course a threat to her as well, they can be easily captured by the empire at any time any time, and she can’t help but flee for her life.

raphael and ignatz: both are sons of merchants, difference is raphael’s parents are dead, which makes raphael the one who has to provide for his sister. they, in my humble opinion, would join faerghus during war for no reason other than to protect their families and business. while i do believe that they want to save fodlan as well, how will they even provide for their family in a failing economy where war tramples over merchants? we know this happens because the merchants at the monastery constantly talk about how business is hard during war. raphael and ignatz need to keep their families alive and fed, not dying because of their pride.

hilda: hilda’s always been ‘the lazy one’, as we all know. but this, too, brought me to a halt. why would hilda join the faerghus rebellion? in the start of azure moon, if you recruit hilda she mentions something along the lines of edelgard is crazy and so is dimitri or something like that. so i kept digging and digging in my brain until i realized that the reason she would join blue lions is because of fear. fear that if she stays neutral in the leicester alliance that her position would cause her to die much easier than if she were to join byleth and dimitri and the rest. neutrality was a problem for the alliance, some wanted to join forces with the empire and some didn’t, which already made her a targer for assassination for the other houses in the alliance (to start conflict/to make a solid point.) and of course, staying in goneril territory would be terrifying too, because there are almyrans who would try to kill those at/near fodlan’s throat to take advantage of the weakness of this part due to the war. hilda is scared, even if she’s completely capable of protecting herself. strength doesn’t always equal bravery, and her whole life she’s gotten free passes to things due to her laziness, and now she has. to protect herself in a kill or be killed place, her instincts would tell her to go where she is safest, in the hands of her classmates from the blue lions, and in the hands of the professor.

lorenz: lorenz is a man of virtue, how ever absurd those virtues may be. depending on route, lorenz is either the cower in fear and succumb to the enemy to survive kind of guy or the fight for what you know is right and fight for those who can’t kind of guy. which leads me to believe that due to claude’s neutrality and wanting to protect the people of the alliance, (especially those in the gluocester region,) he’d join the cause of faerghus to stop the war once and for all.

[dragaoel]

 Jun'ichirō, aka Jun (- Silverdell)

the volume of the radio slowly dwindles down and only static noise is left to be heard

"those are dangerous words"

"not for him " Anja replies, her head laying on her outstretched arm that's on the table , her whole posture the embodiment of laziness. "loved ones always have it easier here"

"Not always" Jun says grimly and glances out of the window" it's because he's an outsider that he's allowed more freedom than any of us"

"aren't you a loved one too?"

Jun sighs deeply and turns towards the albino girl. For a second ,pain , frustration and a hint of panic can be seen in his eyes before it vanishes. He lets out a bitter laugh.

"and you saw where that lead me to,half dead in a ditch"

INTRODUCTION JUN : 

half japanese half black

has waist long black thick hair and brown skin 

has a ‘’prince in anguish’’ aura but masks it with him being over the top ridiculous and dramatic

is 5′11

born 12th october (libra)

‘‘the risk i took was calculated, but man, am i bad at math’‘

Jun is my favourite character, i made him on a whim as a side character in a old story and then i started using him more and more as a background character until i realized the potential he had. He's also one of the character whom i put into a lot of  different aus, the most favourite one was where he was a vampire who loved laying in the garden and eat roses all day

Rukiya (-Though the god’s have left)

‘‘i have dreams about them’‘ Rukiya says and plucks a string on her bass. The deep note rumbles through the room and her short curls moves along as she drops her head lower 

‘‘i'm high in the sky, looking down onto a land that seems oh so familiar, with people screaming at me asking me to help them’‘

‘’do you understand them? ‘’ a band member asks

‘‘weirdly i do’‘ Rukiya answers ‘‘ it seems to be in my native language but also not, as if it was way before everything happened, you know, the ancient time’‘ 

INTRODUCTION RUKIYA :

Out of the both of them Rukiya is the older twin by 4 minutes

she’s also the artsy one than her sister whos into sports

wears black literally 24/7 and has dark circles despite sleeping enough

is 5′9

is black (kenyan) 

mole on the left side of her cheek

fluent in her native tongue kiswahili 

Majors in Film

loves anything that has to do with space nd aliens

born 24th january (aquarius)

has a sweet tooth

*cocks gun* ‘’basements haunted’’

i like the idea of twins that are completely the opposite of each other. Rukiya just like Imara have a big chunk of my personality in them, it's just that i lean more towards Rukiya than Imara. 

Akiho (-Though the god’s have left)

Kneeling down, she cocks her head to the side, her eyes cold and her lips pressed into a thin line ‘’ dont think your actions won't have consequences’’ she sneers ‘’ the next time i see you harassing another girl again i'll make you wish you were never born’’ 

Akiho dusts herself , picks up the bat , glances one last time at the boy laying on the floor and walks away, the echoes of her shoes the only noise to be heard

INTRODUCTION AKIHO :

is 5′4

majors in theater

her fashion style is y2k

is the other one of the dumbass duo

has freckles on her nose

is japanese

doesn't like sweet things usually eats traditional sweets made by her mom or things that are sour/bitter, but salty food has to be spicy asf

born, 14th april (aries)

her side teeth are really pointy

has long peach colored straight hair

‘‘I’d sell you to satan for one corn chip’‘

Akiho comes from a family of 3, she's the youngest sibling and she has that energy. She likes to play with her oldest brother children, doesn't want any on her own though. will fight anyone who is disrespectful, esp towards women 

Hyunjin (-Though the god’s have left)

The tall girl slumps her body onto her girlfriend shoulder, watching her fry the fish in the pan into charcoal. Hyunjin wrinkles her nose in a attempt to push the glasses up without having to actually touch them, before she sighs deeply. 

‘‘Just-’‘ she starts and softly takes ‘‘let me do it, otherwise you'll burn the kitchen down like last time’‘

Praveena puffs her cheeks up ‘’that actually wasn't my fault, it was the gasherd-’’

‘‘i know i know’‘ Hyunjin chuckles and kisses her cheek ‘‘but i have a exam tomorrow and i would like not not have an indigestion’‘ she frowns and flips the fish over and sighs. It seems the fish can’t be saved anymore. 

INTRODUCTION HYUNJIN :

korean

has short dyed blue hair, but the back part is longer than the front part.

is ‘5′10

majors in engineering technology

born 14th may (taurus)

has literally no sense of style and wears glasses cause she has a slight astigmatism that you can't really see

has a mole next to her right eye

‘‘a financially unstable mess but at the liquor store they call me ma’am’‘

honestly out of all the characters i draw hyunjin the most. In the beginning  she  had shoulder length but then i shortened it because i liked it more. She's an only child and her mother runs a bakery while her father works in a office. She's the calm type that's constantly tired because she never sleeps 

Praveena  (-Though the god’s have left)

She shuffles the cards and lays them out on the table. The customers sees the fool, the moon and the star. Praveena touches them with her fingertips ‘’ you seem to be either at the beginning or at the end of a new journey ’’ she pauses and thinks ‘’but either way you're prepared for what is to come’’

The customers nods ‘’i'm soon moving away from this city’’

‘‘I see’‘ Praveena counters and points at the next card ‘‘the moon indicates that you’re hesitant  and fearful in your decision, there might be something from the past that is holding you back and influencing you in the present and possibly the future

the customer tenses up, her eyes fixed on the card and her lips tight

‘‘though’‘ Praveena continues ‘‘at the end you’ll be at peace and glad that you pushed through all the turbulences 

INTRODUCTION PRAVEENA : 

tamil ,dark skin with long wavy violet dyed hair

Hyunjin’s girlfriend

has calm energy but is also very erratic 

loves astrology & tarot

majors in psychology

5′5

born 20 july (cancer)

has droopy eyes

‘‘god cant help you now’‘

i made praveena cause i wanted a harmonious wlw couple, that have that ‘’old married pair’’ plus out of all the ocs those two are the ones that i drew first. Praveena has the tendency to blow things up how though is a mystery and hyunjin always has to clean up everything. 

Imara (-Though the god’s have left)

‘‘no listen, it doesn't make sense why would you wear a bra and some tight ass pants knowing you’re about to fight people who have knives and GUNS?’’ Imara asks perturbed.

‘‘Cause men are horny’‘ Rukiya retorts and raises an eyebrow

‘‘still doesn't make sense like wow!, some fucking boobs, like really? really? is that what gets you going? just some breast pressed up in a bra that is too damn tight and a flat stomach on a skinny ass girl that has absolute no muscles despite the training she went through?

Rukiya sighs ‘’ is this about-’’

‘‘lara croft yes’‘ Imara interrupts and slams her finger on the table ‘‘and im going to die on this hill that men shouldn't be allowed to create games!’‘

INTRODUCTION  IMARA:

plays games a lot, esp the loz series

has curly dyed blonde hair that's mostly tied in a ponytail  or a bun because she cant be bothered with it, though rukiya helps her all the time cause she never really learned how to deal with curly hair. 

Is on a baseball sponsorship because she's that good (she's a pitcher)

is totally tone deaf unlike her twin

isnt good with crows ie: strangers crowding around her after her team won a game

is kenyan

5′9

has a mole next to her upper lips on the left side

loves 90's rnb & hip hop music

‘‘he proclaimed his undying love and asked me to do the same, i had to overcome my desire to laugh’‘

Imara does have a slight complex about being a twin because she feels like Rukiya is the cooler one despite people loving her too. She's loud and boisterous basically a chad, but better. She's dorky and literally spends her free time gaming but she doesn't just play any game shes v specific when it comes to that. Her mom always has a headache because of her but thats okay but in the end her mom loves her to death.

Ava (-Though the god’s have left)

‘’do you you know how much it's sucks that at the end of all of this , i'm the one waiting for them?’’ Ava exclaims ‘’that i'm the one who will have to watch them go through the door to be evaluated? that i'm ultimately the end?

‘‘you’re not all alone-’‘

‘‘you don't understand’’ Ava interrupts, as she points at the short girl ‘’ i will have to watch my mom, my family that raised me go through that door and know that that will be the last time i will see them in that body!’’

INTRODUCTION  AVA:

She’s haitian 

keeps her hair in a short chin length dark blue bob

majors in sociology 

she and akiho are the ‘’comedy duo’’ of the group

is 5′6

born 4th november (scorpio)

‘‘my only crime was that i was down to clown’‘ 

When i make akiho i felt like she needed a companion so i made ava, both of them were inspired by the early 2000 shows characters. Although Ava likes to goof around she's also very studious and serious about her future. She comes from a family of 6 and she’s the second oldest. She and her older sister fight constantly 

Nïrnaya (Dawn over the horizon)

‘‘Magic’‘ the elf stars, her tall stature hunched over the herbs ‘’ is in the nature we’re surrounded in, in the mountains that stand high and the rivers that flow into the deep sea’’

she straightens up and walks over to Nïrnaya ‘’ we might lose everything.’’ She pokes the girl on the forehead ‘’but magic will forever stay with you because its the core of your being‘’ 

INTRODUCTION NÏRNAYA :

shes a mischievous 15 year old 

 has black curly long hair that are mostly braided

does not want to do this whole adventure thing because of how it reminds her too much of the ‘’chosen one trope’’ and thats too much responsibilities

born during the year of the earth dragon

‘‘snacking between meals is the least, but tastiest, of my problems’‘ 

i came up with this story and character because i wanted a book where a black girl for once was the main character, where she could experience the same thing as other mc (ie eragon etc) basically i wanted black representation in a medieval-esque world but with my own spin because the world itself is not very western like

[c0co-cos]

Blue's Highest Rank

I felt horrible because I wrote someone else a story, but I didn't write @nozapuns-nsfw a story. So i'd like to award this Fan Fic to them. I absolutely love their artwork, and I hope they continue to work of their 'Fractured comic'

I love how listening to a song can completely change my idea for this story. It was first gonna be a full story and all, but throughout downloading music on my phone for a trip im taking, I found a gem.

The gem was "Oh Cruel Darkness, Embrace Me" by IAMX

So basically that's the song you should listen to while reading this.

Summary: Blue Berry was the best of the best. He was quickly going up the ranks to become part of the Royal Guard. That changed when Blue was introduced to Alphys and Undyne.

Tags:

Chapter 1: Oh Cruel Darkness, Embrace Me

Blue Berry was quickly working up the ranks. He started on the lowest of the low. Then he met Alphys, and thank lord he did. He was training with her, Every. Single. Day. He didn't really have any prior interactions with Alphys, but out of luck, they bonded quickly and things got straight to the point.

He had liked his time spent with Alphys, there was never a dull moment, Also he never knew what he was going to do during training. It always changed. It went to dodging attacks one day, to making Tacos in her kitchen the next. There was always something new to learn.

Blue wasn't sure when he met Undyne, but he knew Papyrus was friends with her. Papyrus didn't really get out the house much to hang out with anyone. Only time he went out was when he planned to get black out drunk at Muffets, but other than that, he found Papyrus going to Undyne's lab at random times during the night. He must have had a good reason to get up and go though. It wouldn't have been for nothing.

To Blues surprise, Papyrus actually knew Alphys. They had been friends before Undyne met Alphys. It always amazed Blue how almost everyone knew everyone in the underground.

Id it wasn't for Papyrus, he wouldn't know half the people he knows now. Papyrus was amazing. If it wasnt for him, Blue wouldn't have a room to sleep in nor have supplies to make food, even though Papyrus was mostly a lazy bum, he was Blue's lazy bum brother.

"Hey Alphys! Im here for today's training!" Blue couldn't wait for today's training, Alphys had something new in store, and laster on, Papy was going to come over and view their hard work.

Alphys jumped at the sudden loud voice coming outside her house. She had invited Blue earlier than usual, it wasn't something new shes done, but today she had a reason, and pulling it off wasn't going to be easy.

"Woah Blue, you scared me! Come on in, I gotta prepare the rest of the supplies."

Blue had already let himself in with the Key she leaves under the door mat.

"Wow Alphys, this place looks better and better each time we cook! With that being said, what are we making today? More tacos?"

"No, something better. Lets look at the menu."

Blue grabbed the piece of paper with the big letters on it spelling out 'MENU'. It had also been something Alphys did to tease Blue right before they started cooking. It was always Tacos, but he kept up the running gag, just for the giggles of it.

He unfolded it, revealing what they were going to make today. He eyes shrunk with fear.

"Today were making you.... Alphys this isnt funny you know!"

He saw Alphys out of the corner of his eye, he could see bright yellow magic coming off from her magically formed weapon. She loved using an axe. He quickly moved out the way, also using his bone attack to dodge it. He moved just in time, any second later, he would have been dust.

"Ha, nice Blue! You're getting better and quicker with each attack I throw your way. Sorry about my lil joke there, had to do something to get you distracted."

Blue's heart was pounding out of his chest. He knew at one point furing todays training, this would happen. Alphys said she does this to make him become aware of his surrounding at all times, but it still scared him shitless. Alphys could tell that Blue was very shook.

"Oh gosh, im sorry Blue. I should have done it while we were actually cooking. I won't do it again, I swear, just sit down at the table and ill make you some tea."

Blue dis just that. It was great to know Alphys didn't mean any harm, she never does. It was just a small scare, nothing else right?

"Here your tea Blue, again im sorry I did that. I wrote it for the fuck of it, then the idea came to mind where i can do the daily 'scare blue' skit, but it back fired. I truly am sorry Blue."

"No worries Alph. I know its a joke, I just need to stop being a big cry baby about it. Also thanks for the tea. But it's um.. Kinda sweeter than usual. What happened to 'my soul is black so my coffee and tea have to be the same'?"

"Oh actually its a different type of tea. Undyne gave it to me to try, and right now i can try it. But Blue, lets actually talk about the Guard. You kno--"

Blue couldn't think straight. He felt as if his whole world was spinning. He didn't like it, not one bit. Was it because of how scared he got earlier? Was he having a panic attack? He wouldn't know. He never had one before.

"Hey Alph. Im sorry but i think I got to cut th-this short. Sorry, it was uhh fun?" Blue was breaking a sweat by now. Maybe he was actually having a panic attack? Also what would he do about ? Papyrus wasn't home yet, and the way he was feeling, he wasn't getting home like this.

Blue looked up at Alphys. Her straight face had been completely gone, covered with a huge grin, starting from one side of her face to the other side. Blue was expecting her to look more freaked out like she had been when she had accidentally hurt him during training, but she stood absolutely still, giving Blue a horrid feeling.

"Oh please blue, what's wrong? Here, if you insist on leaving, let me carry you out the door." she said while walking towards his area. Blue was too freaked out by her fake response. It had seemed practiced, meaning she knew something he didn't.

Blue hesitated, backing away slowly from her, before bolting to the door. Even with how he was feeling, he could sense the danger. He didn't even make it anywhere close to the door, falling down after taking a couple of steps towards the direction. He couldn't move, and felt horribly tired.

For good measures, Alphys pinned him to the floor, magical axes surrounding him and the exit, if he planned to leave.

"Alphys? Why? What and why are you d-doing this? I'm sc-scared. Please, if I did anything to hurt you, l-l-let me know. I'll fix it just plea--" Blue had been cut off after he felt Alphys step on his ribcage. It hurt like hell, but he could take it.

"Honestly Sans, I'm sick and tired of you. Im doing this for myself, im just the message man at the point. But other than that, I can't stand you. Did you really think you, out of ALL monsters in the underground, you would be the same rank as me? There are kids, younger than you who have an actual chance of being in the Royal Guard. Sorry blue, you wont get the rank you want. But hopefully, this rank suits you and your lazy ass brother."

By this time, Blue had been trying to pull her leg off his ribcage. She was close to breaking it, and he would rather have a ribcage than none at all.

"OKAY OKAY OKAY G-GET YOUR LEG OFF!" Blue was struggling at this point. She was going to break it. He didn't want to die by getting stepped on, he was going to die in battle protecting everyone in the underground.

Alphys showed mercy, slowly lifting her leg off of his ribcage.

"This is how it's going to work okay Blue? I'm going to knock you out, don't worry, the most that would happen is you get a bruise, and I'll call Papy. You'll find everything out later. Goodnight Blue! Don't let the bed bugs bit."

Alphys couldn't really be doing this... It was a dream. He had to be. She would never harm him. At this point, hopefully Alphys knocking him out will cause him to wake up from this Nightmare.

Alphys came up to Blue, fist closed, ready to come in contact with his skull. It wasn't long before Blue actually knocked out.

Lucky for Alphys, the tea did most of the work, all she had to do was get him asleep. All she had to do now was call Papyrus and get him to teleport over to Undyne's lab.

Talking to people over the phone wasn't the easiest thing to do for her, but hey. She lied to Blue for most of tome they've known each other, so it shouldn't be harder over the phone.

"Pa-Papyrus? Oh thank god! Please come over quick! Its ! H-He fell and hit his head on the table! Come quick!"

Lucky for her, She didn't really have to give much detail regarding where she lived. Sometimes Papyrus would walk Blue home after practice, so he knew the way here. In seconds, a 'pop' noise came from inside her restroom.

"where is blue? oh my gosh... what happened?"

"I- I don't know! We were about to make Tacos, and he fell! Please take us to Undyne's lab, Im certain she knows what to do! S-she'll help!"

Papyrus didn't even have to think twice, he picked blue from off the floor, and teleported right into the lab.

Undyne was no where to been seen, and as the looks of it, so was Alphys. That's strange. Alphys was right next to him as he teleported.

"UNDYNE. NOW." Papyrus heard Alphys scream.He couldn't even turn his head before he passed out from whatever they did to him.

Him and blue were up for it when they woke up.

The story is also on my AO3, at @/sintaley if you would like to read it there :)

[threemoonsareshining]

i read through all the 'get to know me uncomfortably well' questions and honestly i couldn't pick because i'd love your answers to any of them so idk just answer the ones you feel like answering? is that allowed in these ask games? idk i'm making it allowed (also have a great day!) xx

Hi!!!!!! Oh my god you’re blessing my night with this message because let’s say... I haven't had the best day today, and I’m sure that’s allowed in these ask things, i mean are there even rules? I do’t know how many i’ll be able to answer but I’m going all in so let’s go

2. How old are you? 19 such an ugly age let me tell you

4. What is your zodiac sign? taurus and i’m not really into astrology and stuff so i don’t know if i can relate to my sign or not

5. What is your favorite color? i really like earthy tones, and i’ve always loved dark colors but i’m trying to broaden my horizons in terms of colors, unsuccessfully this far

6. What's your lucky number? i’m not sure if it brings me luck but i’ve always loved the number 5, maybe bc it’s my birthday, i think it’s really nice overall

7. Do you have any pets? yes!! i have 2 cats, i love them so much even though they’re not the friendliest cats in the world you know. I used to have fish but they kept dying not matter how hard i tried! It makes me a little sad but in the end it was just too much work and if i wasn’t able to take care of them properly i’d rather have no fish honestly

8. Where are you from? i don’t like to say these things but i think it’s pretty obvious if you pay a little attention to what i post every once in a while

9. How tall are you?i’m 1.64 or so, which is like… 5.3-5.4??? I’d like to be a little taller tho

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I don’t own many, this year i bought some winter shoes but i just realised all my summer ones are either a little too used or i just don’t like their style anymore so yeah i should do some shopping (if only i had time to do that hah!)

12. What was your last dream about? i don’t remember very well but i think i saw my economics teacher riding a bike with no pants after i’d been fined by the police for having a water balloon war in the middle of the street, I wasn’t happy about that. I’ve had many dreams i was able to remember these last days, but they were more like nightmares i’d say, many of them about being kidnaped, other studies-related (i failed my math test again, i had to retake my college-access test… just terrible), and other were with people i actually know, which wasn’t the best thing ever honestly

15. Favorite song? Plant life by owl city, i’m going to paste the answer i wrote to explain why it’s my favorite (Plant Life by Owl City, that song just describes my soul at a spiritual level, like I could choose 1564 other songs by Owl City that describe me as well but this one is the one that I can relate to when i’m going through the worst times, but also gives me the hope that things will get better idk. And it’s funny because I still loved it before I had the level of English to understand the lyrics, and then I found out what they meant and i was like “woah this actually speaks to me in a way i can’t explain” it was a really weird feeling idk, that song is just me)

16. Favorite movie? billy elliot, actually it’s been a really long time since i last saw it. I remember i watched it like 7 times in a row in one week when i first saw it, i just loved it so much

17. Who would be your ideal partner? Just… someone that i’m 100% comfortable with, which should be a given, but apparently that isn’t that easy to find. Idk i’ve been thinking a lot about this lately basically because some of my coming decisions are going to be based on who i want as a partner, obviously not in a serious-for-life way, but in a way that i deserve right now. I’d like to have someone that doesn’t make me feel inadequate like almost everyone does, that doesn’t make me feel like a temporary asset in their life until they get want they want for me and just don’t care anymore. I don’t know, recent experiences have made me realise I need to figure out what I want and fight for it, not settle for someone just because it’s convenient, or because i don’t want to be alone... because in the end, if someone is making you feel like shit for being who you are and it’s acting like you are not important, even though they’re willing to be with you (even if it’s just for the physical part) that clearly makes you feel even more lonely

18. Do you want children? I’d say my #1 fear in life is getting accidentally pregnant (i know that shouldn’t worry me that much if i use protection and stuff), i meant a good reason i’m so wary of having sex is because i’d go crazy just considering the possibility that the condom failed or something. I think this answers the question, i really don’t want children, idk if i’d be able to take care of a kid, and above all, i don’t want to. Every time i see a kid in the street or in the public transport i pray he/she doesn’t interact with me because i just find it so so so difficult to be nice to them, basically because i don’t know how . Then i also look at their parents, their tired look, and don’t get me wrong, I’m sure they love their kids and all but I don’t think everyone can find happiness in having kids, and I don’t think I’m one of those people that won’t feel complete until they have kids or stuff. Furthermore, I’m not willing to sacrifice my body and to suffer the pain of giving birth, that doesn’t even cross my mind. So if I consider the possibility in the future i think I’d adopt.

20. Are you religious? I already answered this so I’ll just paste it I’m sorry this is so lazy (i was raised catholic and as a child i was really really devote, i truly believed in god. But you know, as years go by, then you find out you don’t agree with a lot of things the Church preaches (being in a catholic school doesn’t help, i will never forget the day i heard a priest telling literal 7-year-old girls that their only duty in life was to have children). My environment was really really conservative and I was lucky to somehow realise how fucking wrong some of the stuff they were teaching us was, sadly, i still see a lot of kids in my school being brainwashed… it’s crazy to see the way some families think. Anyways, that contributed to me getting distanced from everything religious-related. Now i could say i’m somewhere between agnostic and non-practicing. I still pray every once in a while but i’m not sure if i truly believe it or it’s just out of custom, i just feel too hopeless and detached from everything to believe there’s something greater than us… this question is too hard!)

24. Baths or showers? I used to hate taking showers just because I didn’t have the strength to go through all the process of taking a shower but I’ve been trying to fix this mainly because 1) Personal Hygiene and stuff 2) Even though i don’t have the willpower to do it, i always try to think about how nice it feels to be clean after a shower, or how relaxed you are (even if it’s for a short period of time) after taking a bath. So yeah I don’t like either of them but they’re obviously necessary

26. Have you ever been famous? I haven’t been famous but I’ve been mistaken for a famous people more than once. The first time i was very young and a man asked me if i was that girl (idk who) that was on tv and I said no, and the other was more recent, last year, when someone mistook me for a youtuber

28. What type of music do you like? I love instrumental music, specially orchestral but i also adore celtic themes. And i hate to admit it but i love electro pop, the owl city - type, even though many people (aka my dad) may think it’s not the Best Quality, but i mean who cares at least I enjoy it

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I’m a mess so most of the time I have a coffee so I don’t die of tiredness throughout the day and if i have time i eat some fruit and cookies, not a lot honestly, which isn’t the most healthy thing to do but hey idc

34. Have you ever fired a gun? No. I really, really hate guns.

37. Favorite swear word? I never swear in public, just when I’m alone, I don’t think I can choose any word!

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep? Maybe 24 hours, the thing is that i sleep very, very little, but i always end up sleeping anyway

41. Are you a good liar? Even when I’m actually telling the truth there are people who don’t believe me so yeah hah not really

42. Are you a good judge of character? i’m really good at getting the vibes of people, sometimes i think i’m just overreading everything but a high percentage of the time i end up being right, so yeah not only regarding people but also with other aspects of my life… i like to trust my gut. However, i don’t always say it bc i’m afraid i might be wrong, but when my suspicions are proven, I’m like yeah i was right how weird hahahahhhhhhhhh, i amaze myself in this aspect honestly

46. What is your personality type? i think i’m intj, but i remember retaking the test a few months later and getting another result but yeah i can relate to the architect type, introvert, cautelous, focused on analysing rather than acting blah blah all that stuff (i love this stuff)

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie 4 life, because I’ve tried to force myself to be more outie and let me tell you that didn’t go well

50. Left or right handed? left!!!

51. Are you scared of spiders? I’m really scared of them but i also cry every time i kill one bc i feel sorry for her (but it’s either my life or hers i’m sorry) although most of the time when i see i spider i face my fear and i put in in a box or something to release it outside

52. Favorite food? i’d eat ice cream every day of my life for every meal all the time just give me all the ice cream

58. Do you have much of an ego? My ego is so tiny sometimes i forget it exists and let people step on it like it’s nothing

61. Do you sing to yourself? I perform to myself, i love singing alone in my room. I used to care about my neighbour hearing me but you only live once right

62. Are you a good singer? i wouldn't say i’m a bad singer, nor a good one bc the problem is that my voice is not very strong, so it’s very hard to hear me. But yeah, i’ve been complimented for my singing in some occasions, and i really enjoy doing it on my own (i still don’y know how i was able to sing in public the only time i have done it)

63. Biggest Fear? that i’ll keep missing stuff due to my anxiety, oh that and having unwanted kids obviously

64. Are you a gossip? it’s always interesting to hear stuff and be aware of what happens around you but i‘ve always said that things would be better if everyone just… minded their own business a little bit more, you can’t get mad at someone if they don’t want to tell you something, it’s their life and they don’t owe you all the explanations after all

66. Do you like long or short hair? i have really long hair and i’d love it if it wasn’t so so so hard to maintain… i’m pretty tired of it honestly and i know i said i’d be cutting and donating it this year but… it’s such a part of my identity (which is so silly but it’s true, i’m introduced to some people as “the girl with really long hair”) and… i don’t know i think i’ve enough changes this year, so i’ll keep it for a little longer

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? i’m so scared of the sea i think i’d die

71. What makes you nervous? sadly, even the most insignificant stuff makes me nervous, and apparently, ignoring them doesn’t mae them disapear! so yeah i’m basically suffering at all times due to stupid stuff, i’ve just learned to ignore it enough so it doesn’t interfere with the rest of my life (most of the time it works but it’s mentally draining now that i think about it)

77. Have you ever drank underage? I’m one of those people that can say that never drank alcohol until it was legal for me to do it, I didn’t do it even when my mom offered me something at family gatherings… yeah i think that’s the reason i drink so much now

80. How many piercings do you have? I don’t like piercings for myself (i obviously don’t have a problem with other people having them) but i just think it’s an unnecessary way of mutilating yourself (i hate needles)

86. What are you allergic to? Ironically, I’m allergic to cats, even though i have 2. It comes and goes, and it’s not serious, i sneeze a lot, my eyes itch a little sometimes, but i’m willing to pay that price for my cats honestly

87. Do you keep a journal? I do, but it’s been months since i last wrote mainly because i always feel like shit after writing, so now i can’t bring myself to do it, that’s why i post so much about my personal life in here, because i’m not able to journal but i also don’t want to forget about what happens in my life

90. What makes you angry? Anger is a weird concept for me. I get angry very often, but I’m angry in general, not at anyone in particular, I just find myself unable to get mad at someone, the anger instantaneously turns into sadness, so I don’t know what’s worse. If I’m being mean to someone (most of the time my parents are the victims) it’s not because of them, I’m just angry for no reason and I just can’t keep being nice.

Hey congratualtions if you made it till the end, i was really bored so i answered a lot. Thanks for the message again 🐱🐱🐱🌳🌳🌳

[dominicvail]

Dunno if you've ever talked about/answered this, but may I ask what you use to make your beautiful gifs?! I'm about to pull my hair out trying to prep my sets for "Densi-mber" so that they all actually move like they're supposed to without looking like completely awful quality. (I obviously do not want to take away from the amazing work you do, but yearn to make them as pretty-ful as you do!) BTW --- all your comments on every episode totally crack me up ! Love em!

I use photoshop CS5 portable, an old crappy version that honestly doesn’t have all the working features, but it does the job just fine (i got a copy of it off my friend who was doing gameart design in uni, lol). 

As for the gifs themselves, i’m not sure what you mean by looking awful quality, but here’s a few things i normally consider (i apologize if this gets super wordy, i’m not great at explaining things and some of this involves a lot of nonsensical numbers);

1) If you mean how your gifs look uploaded onto tumblr, the sizes of the gifs in pixels make a massive difference on how a set looks once uploaded. Tumblr’s image layout is 540px across, and gifs will only look their optimum quality if they are exactly 540px across the entire picture window. If your gif is 450 across, tumblr will stretch it to be 540 and the quality will visibly diminish. Likewise, if your gif is 600px, tumblr will shrink it and it will also diminish it’s quality on your dash. If you have more than one gif in a line, your set still needs to come to 540px together, each gif needs to be 268px wide to display at the optimum quality. Three gifs in a row needs two sized at 177px and the third 178px to come up to 540px across, any pixel number that doesn’t add up to 540 total will make tumblr adjust the gif size and it will corrupt the gif quality. 

One single gif (a 540px one designed to sit on it’s own) can be up to 3mb large, anything bigger and it won’t play). If you have two 268px gifs next to each other, they also cannot exceed the 3mb limit, each gif can be whatever mb size you want, but together they cannot exceed the 3mb. 

(if that made zero sense to anybody, i suggest google image searching ‘tumblr image dimensions’ b/c people have made visual guides). 

2) Colouring on your gifs makes a massive difference, and this show is /awful/ to colour. I have 4 different types of colouring for opps alone because the lighting is different from every filming angle in the room. I can’t really go into specifics literally just because i don’t have specific examples, but in general, having it too bright pixelates darkened areas horribly, sometimes it’s better to just make a gif look super shadowy by keeping dark parts dark than it is to brighten it so much it looks like a pixel storm. The higher quality screencaps you have to make gifs from, the more you can brighten them/edit them in general before they become pixelated, over-colouring low quality content next to never ends well. (but i do all this on photoshop, idk how to colour using anything else). If you’re using PS, i recommend finding a ps resources blog, downloading a couple of psd’s that people have made for free use that you like and learning how they work from those. I started off using free ones and once i’d figured out what did what I made up my own ones. 

3) what do you use to get screencaps for your gifs?? I personally use UMplayer because it’s the only program i found that will automatically take gif quality screencaps from DVD’s (supposedly vlc and kmplayer will also do this for people, but it never worked on my laptop when i tried, so umplayer it is). I just play the scene in the window while i set the program to cap it enough times a second as it plays, so that when i gif from the caps, the movement isn’t choppy, even if you craft the perfect colouring and sharpening and timing when making the gif, if you don’t have enough screencaps per second of footage, it’s still going to be choppy. 

4) But also, some scenes just aren’t very giffable? Like, i really want to gif that scene where Eric calls Nell ‘Nellverine’ but when the camera is on his face as he says it, he’s in motion the entire time, if what you want to gif doesn't have a single screencap that’s not blurry, your gif is just gonna be a blur. Can’t really fix that, i mean, maybe people super amazing at giffing can, but i’ve never managed it. 

5) sharpening. I personally like definition on my gifs, so i tend to sharpen a lot, but some people prefer smooth gifs, it’s each to their own. But, also, very low quality screencaps will not sharpen, they will only make the gif grainy. The higher pixel size your individual caps are, the more you can afford to sharpen, but it is literally on a case by case basis, i will sharpen 2 different scenes from one episode differently depending on how it looks, it’s entirely personal judgement/taste tbh, but attempting to sharpen something that is tiny in quality will only make it look worse. 

6) frame speed. I am a lazy ass who will only set my frames at 0.1 or 0.2 depending on a scene because they’re presets and i don’t have to take the time to type in speeds like 0.18 or something equally fiddly, but you have to judge what works best for the gif you’re making. Conversation scenes i normally set at 0.2 but like, action scenes i normally set at 0.1. But that’s not a solid rule, it’s just my personal norm. 

7) there are specific dimensions for gifsets that look more attractive on this site, if i’m doing say, an 8 gif set 2x2, i will make my gifs 268x180px, which is about what i think looks best on this format. Personally anything shorter than 170px high in that situation looks a little weird (unless you’re deliberately trying to do a panorama type gif). 

anyway that’s all i could think of from the top of my head (and also probably too detailed of an explanation, i do that a lot i’m sorry), but i think those are probably what things that will most of the time disrupt gifs. And thank you!!!! but feel free to ask anything, i’m not a graphc making how-to hoarder, i don’t understand people refusing to help other people making them under the guise of creator secrets? It just seems weird and like a weird form of gatekeeping to me, the more the merrier right? So i’m open to trying to help anytime :D