#i'm. addicted to caffEINE.

[lusalemaart]

And now I'm stuck in baby prison.

[beif0ngs]

My only plan for tonight is to get f*cked up beyond all recognition. 🥴🍾🍷

+BONUS FOOTAGE OF A DRUNKEN FIVE RUNNING DOWN THE HALLWAYS WITH A MANNEQUIN:

[blorbocedes]

'i'd rather have a redbull' - ferrari driver sebastian vettel 😼 you can take the boy out of the team but not the caffeine addiction bond

[lazylittledragon]

Feel free to ignore if this is intruding but I remember you posting about dealing with caffeine addiction and I hope you're doing ok <3 Addiction is really hard to deal with so I hope everything is going alright for you!

!! thank you for checking in <3333

i haven't cut it out completely (i really don't think i'd be able to) but i'm still doing much better, i've cut down from 6 shots per cup to only 2. i've also changed my sleep/eating habits so now i don't feel like i need the caffeine as much because i just don't feel as shit anymore.

it's been very nice :3

[journeyman-tier-fibercraft]

I have created a creature! A guy if you will.

Knit from this pattern (rav link) with some slight modifications.

[iguessitsjustme]

On Pat's Maturity

Earlier this week I wrote about Jeng and mentioned Pat’s maturity and I thought why not write about it a little bit while I have some time this morning. I have no idea how long or short this will be and I haven’t thought about it since writing my Jeng post so let’s see what happens.

I genuinely think that Pat is the most mature character on the show (well except Chot, but no one holds a candle to his maturity and honestly his guidance is probably why Pat is so mature now). At the beginning of the show, Pat was a new employee, didn’t know how to tell people no, was overworked, underappreciated, in the closet, and had a hard time regulating his emotions.

We can credit Jeng for some of Pat’s growth and maturity, but honestly, it was mostly Chot that showed Pat how to calmly and maturely approach any issues he might have in life. Chot was always there for Pat to go to for advice and Chot was the one character that Pat also knew was queer. Yay queer friendships! Oh boy I got off topic. Okay. So let’s break this down into two parts. Pat’s maturity at work and his maturity in his relationships.

Work:

Pat started as someone who was a hard worker, but didn’t necessarily know the basics of his job. He also had no problem calling out Ying when she threw him under the bus. And Pat’s ability to stand up for himself is probably what led him to be able to have the kind of growth that he’s had. Should he have thrown Ying under the bus like that? I’ve thought about it and I don’t think so. He absolutely should have alerted management to the issues going on, but there is a time and place for everything and that was not the time nor the place. But he was young and stressed and taken advantage of. This is Pat’s first office job and he genuinely did not know better. He had no idea how to handle that situation. 

Now, Pat was successfully able to lead a campaign and despite what Chris’ mother said and did, he didn’t say anything. Pat learned that there was a time and place and also that he would need to calm down before saying anything. So when he was able to, he removed himself from the situation and gave himself the time and space to calm down. He then let Jeng and Jaab handle the issue. Jeng was in a position of power so it wasn’t just that he knew what to say and how to say it, but it was that he was in a position where his words held weight and he had the power to use those words. (It is still my favorite scene in the series and I did my best to gif it)

It’s not just that Pat was taught these lessons but that he was open to learning them. Do you know how many young people in their first office job aren’t receptive to learning because they think they know everything already? Just the mere willingness to learn and improve shows extraordinary maturity from Pat and I love him dearly for it. (This is not to say that all young people act like they know everything at first, just some and it’s annoying).

But how does Pat handle being harassed at work? I’m so glad you asked. Pat was basically forced to out himself or participate in a disgusting conversation that he did not want to be a part of. Pat chose to out himself and in the process got harassed. I’m going to say that I’m an advocate for throwing hands at harassers but that might not be the most mature way to handle it. Pat then let Jeng handle the situation and didn’t argue with Jeng’s decision. I think this really helped Pat have the backbone to say no in his personal relationships. Just knowing that there is one person in the world who will have your back makes it easier to handle the things that Pat handled with grace and maturity.

Relationships:

Kong - Pat was so excited to see his old friend. He thought maybe a spark would be there. Pat was searching for any sort of relationship outside of the potentially problematic feelings he had for Jeng. So when Kong was in town, Pat was delighted. He got ready, he let Chot do his hair, he was a young man ready to go meet people. Then Kong had to cancel and of course Pat was upset, but at no point did he blame Kong for canceling. This left the door open for Pat to see Kon later. When it turned out that Kong was trying to get Pat to join his MLM (ha), Pat finally, after some advice, firmly told him no. He also told Kong that he had crossed boundaries and he wasn’t okay with that. Early on, we see Pat establishing strict boundaries that he will not let people cross. Do you know how amazing it is to see such strong boundaries in a BL? And it’s coming from the youngest character. 

Put - Oh Put. Oh darling, stupid Put. He is the least mature of Pat’s love interests. That probably worked fine before Pat grew up and started looking for an adult relationship. Put wasn’t able to effectively communicate with Pat. Whenever Pat tried to discuss anything even remotely serious, Put retreated behind a plushie to try to convince Pat that they were good and in love and Put was never able to face the issues they had. Pat wanted someone who was present and who would listen and Put wasn’t able to do any of those things. So Pat ended it in one of the most mature break up scenes I’ve ever witnessed.

Pat didn’t let his relationship with Put drag on. He wanted them to work but as soon as he realized that they wouldn’t work, he ended it. 

Jeng - I think I mentioned in my earlier post that when Jeng and Pat start dating, Jeng basically turns into a teenager in love. Pat is the one in the relationship trying to make sure that they aren’t crossing any lines. And then when Pat starts facing harassment in the workplace again, he tries to go to Jeng, who is his boyfriend, yes, but is also his boss. Jeng approached that issue as strictly Pat’s boyfriend who was scared of the implications that acknowledging those rumors would have for their relationship. Pat approached that issue as Jeng’s boyfriend who wanted to face the issues together. He also knows Jeng is his boss and has helped him when being harassed before. So when Jeng tries to ignore the problem and not talk about it, Pat does the best thing he can do in that situation. He leaves. He had already left one relationship where he wasn’t listened to and communication was hard. Of course he leaves another when any and all attempts and communicating a very real issue that is affecting him in a very negative way is ignored in favor of a makeout session, attempted hand job, and then cuddling. 

When Jeng says this, what Pat hears is that his concerns are not being taken seriously. Because Pat right now isn’t happy. He loves Jeng, but he loves himself too. And it is incredibly mature of him to remove himself from the toxic workplace instead of letting himself get harassed and then letting the harassment get ignored. If Pat stayed, all of that toxicity and harassment would fester and he would internalize it and Pat has already learned that he is allowed to say no. He’s allowed to have boundaries even at work. So he leaves. 

I honestly think that leaving was the best thing Pat could have done for his and Jeng’s relationship. Not only did it stop him from internalizing things and potentially lashing out at Jeng because of it, but it served as a much needed wake up call for Jeng. Who needed to remember that at work, he is not Pat’s boyfriend, he is Pat’s boss. He was so lost in the new relationship and his love for Pat that he forgot about all of his duties and responsibilities outside of Pat. Relationships are about the people that are in them. But the world still exists outside of the relationship. Pat was forcibly reminded of that by his coworkers bullying him. Jeng was forcibly reminded of that by Pat leaving. Jeng is about to have to face the world alone, without Pat there to tell him where he fucked up. And honestly? Jeng was probably relying on Pat too much for that as well. Jeng tried to change but he tried to change for Pat meanwhile when Pat changed, he did it for himself.

This ended up longer than I expected. I’m tagging @magpie24601 since you mentioned you wanted to see a post about Pat’s maturity.

[immortalsins]

not to be tumblr ranting again but idk how much longer i can handle uni and it's been 4 days since i got back. there are currently 2 friends of housemates here and i'm too autistic to handle making conversation. just want to go downstairs to make some tea but last time i did that had to say omg hii how are you to someone and my unwillingness to talk makes me look like such a freak sorry i am just finding it physically hard. can't even make tea

[tejoxys]

wow. WOW. my brain fog this past week was SO bad, I have just discovered- in addition to somehow managing to buy dairy-free Ben & Jerry's without noticing (which is just the most western massachusetts thing to happen), I also bought decaf black tea. which I never buy. which I have been drinking all week. while extremely fatigued & unable to concentrate adhsfshgfk

[joyridingmp3]

man caffeine really is the best drug of all time

[ashcadence]

My store manager has been trying to get the associates to look at act more professional except it hasn't been working because not only have the associates been openly defying him, so have the team leads, and head managers

He first said we weren't allowed to carry around energy drinks because it made it look like the employees were being worked to the bone (we are). Which ramped up everyone carrying around energy drinks

In an effort to stop that he said nobody was allowed any water bottles as well so now everyone is carrying around both energy drinks and water bottles

He tried to stop everyone from swearing, which just made everyone swear more

He said we're not allowed to sing along to the radio. Everyone starts singing musical numbers

It's been fantastic seeing him get frustrated because, although he's the store manager, he causes more problems then helps

[scooplery]

extremely tempted to take a weed break and a caffeine break this spring. i wanna know what my baseline is i have a feeling that both are contributing heavily to my insane person anxiety levels

[miskick]

shrieks at the amount of followers and attention hi heLLO

[failbaby]

I had a large cold brew with an extra shot of espresso this morning, and when I went to make my lunch time coffee at work, I immediately became nauseous and lightheaded and started shaking upon smelling it. My body is begging me to stop ingesting caffeine and I am not listening

[autisticlaezel]

Also I stocked up on coffee yesterday so I'm going to act like myself again finally

[shmeiliarockie]

Inigo, side-eyeing me as I plant a whole farm of moon sugar: My friend, if you go into the skooma business, I am morally obligated to stop you. You do know that, right?

Me, fake yelling: What? I can't hear you over the sound of the tons of money we're making right now! It's raining septims over here! Just... Coins, bouncing everywhere!

Lucien, talking to Kharjo: How does one get from 'mmm, this is delicious' to 'I'm going to refine this into a highly addictive substance that turns people's brains into mush'? I swear I'll never understand why people do stuff like that. I do like it in my tea, though.

Kharjo, drooling, eyes hungry and vacant: Mmmmmoon sugar

[wickedhawtwexler]

ok job interview prep is officially over for the day. i need to prepare my set list for karaoke tonight