#i feel like i had one more thing to say but i fg wtf it was.

[lusalemaart]

And now I'm stuck in baby prison.

[2seokfan]

Scarlet & Hazel | Ch. 3

pairings: hoseok x reader x yoongi

genre: fluff, very light angst, smut (future)

word count: 6k

chapters: ch.1, ch.2, ch.3. ch.4

summary: 

Just cause you’re living paycheck to paycheck in a tiny apartment even after graduating college doesn’t mean you’re not happy. So what if your best friend is working her dream job making close to six figures every year?  So what if she’s in a loving, committed relationship with her perfect boyfriend that you’re 99% sure is going to propose to her sometime next year? It doesn’t matter that your idea of a perfect relationship is a $9.99 bottle of wine on Friday nights while you binge watch Netflix specials.

Ok so maybe you’re a teensy bit miserable. Maybe you have no idea what you’re doing with your life. Maybe all you need to do is accidentally cross paths with two hybrids who will drastically change that.

Meet “Scarlet” and “Hazel”, two of the most gorgeous hybrid men you have ever laid eyes on. With their help, you learn that life is an adventure, a roller-coaster with ups and downs, and you were too preoccupied with yourself to climb out of your own predicament. And hey, you’re not much of a romantic, but with these two, you just might change your mind.

a/n: Hello, Jun here! Whew this took a while to write but thank you for your patience!! (poor Y/N still doesn’t know their real names but maybe she’ll find out soon?) Any feedback is appreciated <3 

tag list: @wilhelminalucinda​ @ghostkat23​ @ayoo-bangtan​ @sadgurllayha

2 months later.

August is relentless. You’re sweaty all the time and you have no choice but the crank up the a/c every single day. This heat wave is incredibly brutal because all you want to do is stay at home eating ice cream in your underwear but instead you’re stuck working overtime to pay for what you assume will be a record-high electricity bill. Fuck you global warming. 

It’s currently Tuesday. You’re on lunch break at work, chowing down on a falafel wrap and scrolling through your phone, when a text pops up from Karli.

Karli: Don’t forget!

You: ???

Karli: This friday?

You scratch your head. Wtf?

You: What’s on friday?

Karli: Umm the date? Remember?

No you didn’t. Your dumbass actually forgot about a whole date. You can’t believe yourself. Karli finally set you up with that accountant guy from her job. What’s his name again? Brad? Brandon?

You: oh yeah! my bad haha

Karli: You forgot his name didn’t you?

You: …maybe

Karli: Lol it’s Bryce sweetie

Karli: He’s really sweet! Just give it a shot

You: of course i will

You: i’ll turn up my maximum charm

Karli: Dats my girlllll

Karli: Ugh gtg it’s my boss

Karli: Bye!

You: bye babe

You set your phone down, trying to envision this upcoming Friday. Karli mentioned she gave Bryce your phone number, and he’ll text you sometime this week about your date, so at least you don’t have to make any moves first. She did show you his picture though, being the wingman that she is by stalking all his social media just for you. You’ve gotta admit he is cute, the profile picture showed him sporting a casual smile, with blonde hair and blue eyes. The classic boy-next-door look.

“And he’s most likely not a serial killer!” You remember her declaring a few weeks ago, after scrolling through all his tweets. And when you say all his tweets you mean EVERY Single tweet from when he created his account in high school till now. Your best friend does not fuck around. 

“Thanks I appreciate that. Glad he’ll ‘most likely’ not kill me.” You rolled your eyes and grinned at her.

While you munch away the rest of your lunch, you think about how you just aren’t acting like yourself lately. In any other circumstance, you would’ve found yourself more excited for the date. Hell, in any other circumstance you would’ve at LEAst remembered his name, or thought about what to wear by now, or even stalked his social media along with Karli. There’s just a teensy problem though. See, in the past few months you happen to have met two boys who completely changed your standards in men. And you may have maybe developed the tiniest crush on both of them, at the same time. Like how?? You didn’t think you were physically capable of doing that?

You sigh, staring at the rest of your falafel wrap, and force yourself to accept reality. As much as you adore them, you know that your little crush will be completely unreciprocated. This you found out through your group chat, now named ‘Hazel’s Nuts’ (courtesy of Scarlet). It’s not that you confessed to them or anything, they just happened to let slip to you one day that they’re a mated pair. And hybrids mate for life, so they take that shit very seriously. Although this news stung a little, it didn’t cause you to be envious in any way. At the end of the day, crush or not, you’re just glad you have two more people in your life you can confidently call your close friends.

For the past two months you’ve actively kept up with them. Sometimes you’ll send memes back and forth all night, sometimes you’ll group call each other after work. Every once in a while, when they’re not busy doing whatever it is they’re doing, they facetime you. These are your favorite moments because you get to see them in all their attractive glory. Just because they don’t like you that way doesn’t mean a girl can’t deny herself some eye candy. 

You guys never run out of things to talk about. Each day you check the group chat and it’ll be popping. Your topics range from the movie that just came out, restaurants they discovered, to even discussing new criminal cases (you got Hazel into watching true crime Youtube videos and now he’s entirely hooked). Sometimes you just sit back and watch the two boys bicker back and forth. It’s hysterical how they decide to argue through text since you’re sure both of them are probably in the same room together, but you appreciate them keeping you in the loop. 

At this point they’ve already virtually met Karli. She’s been in the background of one or two of your facetimes. You’re glad she approves of them instantly and you wonder if it has a little something to do with their, especially Scarlet’s, boyish charms. She does keep you grounded though, never failing to mention how it’s suspicious that you don’t know their real names yet.

“I don’t think they mean any harm and they seem genuinely nice,” she had reassured, “But you gotta admit not telling you their names is a little sketch.”

You just shrugged. “They have their reasons.”

Internally you do believe she has a point. Even though you don’t want to force information out of the boys, you’re a naturally curious person. Your mind has already compiled a list of all the unusual facts you’ve discovered about them. 

A couple of things have become clear to you over the span of the last few months. The most important fact is that although they share tons of content with you, you still have no idea what they do for a living. You’re also 90% sure they don’t have an owner since there’s never anyone else around them. Another, more interesting fact is that you suspect they’re actually pretty wealthy. Every time you facetime, they’re in some sort of lavish looking hotel penthouse, with fancy furniture and artwork hanging in the background. They also dress designer, occasionally flashing their Balenciaga hats, or little Gucci necklaces, or other fancy logos your peasant-ass is unfamiliar with. You actually googled one of Hazel’s t-shirts from your most recent facetime, having no idea what the FG logo stood for. You remember your eyes bulging out of your head after discovering his plain white shirt with two black letters cost more than $200. TWO HUNDred dollars?!!! Do you know how much food and gas you could buy with $200? Why in the fuck would he spend that much on a shirt??

If only you knew how much their watches cost.

Friday rolls around faster than you can blink and before you know it, you’re rushing home from work to get ready. Bryce texted you for the first time on Wednesday to see if you wanted sushi (hell yeah you did) and you were fortunate enough to notify your boss so you could be let out early. You’ve been such a work horse the last few months that they had no choice but to let you leave in advance. 

So far Bryce seems nice enough but you can’t get a proper gauge of his character through text. Oh well, guess you’ll find out tonight.

The sushi place you’re meeting at is on the fancier side, and includes a bar. Knowing yourself, if there’s a bar, there’s no car, which means you won’t be driving. The last thing you want is to leave your car parked somewhere sketchy overnight cause you accidentally got too tipsy to drive. You like to think you have some semblance of control but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

You were let out at 4, which means you have only 2 hours to get ready. As soon as you get home you sprint to your closet at lightning speed. You rummage through your drawers, hoping to find something, ANYthing, that’s appropriate for this occasion. For one quick second, your eyes dart to your forbidden drawer, aka the ho drawer. It contains the remains of your slutty party dresses and tops from college. Being the hoarder that you are, you never like throwing away things, even if you have no need for them anymore. Wait, what the hell am I thinking? You snap your eyes back to the rest of your closet. You’re going for sushi, not to dance at some club. Besides, you have no intention of sleeping with anyone tonight.

After an hour of deciding on a suitable outfit you finally start on your makeup. Your work makeup has dried up, and now feels gross and cakey on your face, so you remove it all and start anew. At least you had the decency to shower this morning so your hair isn’t too gross.

The place is around a 10 minute Uber ride away but you took your sweet ass time getting ready so now you’re in a frenzy. When your phone buzzes, signaling your driver is here, you swipe on some lipstick last minute, grab some chunky heels, and practically fly out the door. 

You stare out the window of your ride, wondering why you’re lowkey wishing you could spend Friday night at home watching tv instead, or even just spending the evening facetiming two hot hybrids. This all feels a little too rushed. But no, you shake your head and attempt to hype yourself up. C’mon Y/N this is the first real date you’ve been on in ages. At least TRy and be a little more motivated. 

The car pulls up and you thank the driver, stepping out into the warm night air. August is still hot, even in the evenings, and you’re glad you didn’t bring a cardigan. Bryce has already texted you, letting you know he was inside, sitting at your reserved spot. You take a deep breath. Ok, time to put on your game face. You strut in, trying your very best to push the faces of two very good-looking friends out of your mind.

You spot Bryce in a corner, head buried in his phone, his wavy blonde hair not easy to miss. You slide in the seat across from him, prompting him to quickly look up and flash you an easygoing smile.

“Hello there!”

“Hi!” You chuckle nervously. “I hope I’m not too late.”

“Not all all!” He slides his phone back in his pocket, smile still on his face. “You’re just in time.”

A waiter comes by and you both take your orders. You make sure to order a drink because you have a feeling you’ll need the liquid courage to strike up more conversation. Maybe some sake will help ease you.

The first couple minutes are kinda awkward, not gonna lie. Bryce tries to get you to talk about work and you do answer him, but honestly work is the last thing you want to discuss right now. You try to shift the conversation to his job, but that only ends up being worse as he quickly launches into the ins and outs of life as an accountant. Maybe your two hybrids friends have spoiled you because you barely remember the last time you had to fill empty space with small talk.

When the food comes you quietly sigh a breath of relief, hoping the sushi in front of you will help you both get settled and give you time to think of more interesting topics to talk about.

“So,” you wrack your brain, “let’s get to know each other more! Like, what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” That’s got to be a safe enough question.

“Hm, I’m actually more of a yogurt kinda guy, ice cream’s not really my thing.”

You freeze, California roll halfway to your mouth. Ok, ok, cool, cool. So he doesn’t like ice cream, that’s fine. You sweat a little. Hurry Y/N think of something else to ask.

“Yeah, I guess that’s not everybody’s thing.” You grimace. “Then what about, i don’t know, cookies? What’s your favorite kinda cookie?”

“Actually I prefer crackers, you know, like the saltine ones? Cookies can be too sweet sometimes.” He’s devouring his dragon roll, not noticing the panic in your eyes. He’s caught you off guard twice today.

This isn’t going well and you’re genuinely surprised because you know Karli has done her research, certain that you two would get along. Guess life really likes to throw you some curveballs. 

Who the fuck prefers crackers over cookies anyway?? Ok. Code red! Change the fucking subject before the silence becomes unbearable. Your dessert-related ice breakers had never failed you before but there’s always a first for everything, you guess.

You take a generous swig of sake. “Right, crackers are... good.” You’re mumbling at this point. “Ok, um, what about hobbies? Got any?” Please throw me a fucking bone here! Your mind is reeling but externally you try to act calm and composed, dabbing at the corner or you mouth delicately with a napkin.

“Oh yeah!” His face lights up. Oh thank god. “Do you like football? Me and my buddies at the office sorta formed this team, and we play against other departments. It’s really fun! You should come by and watch sometime!”

“Uh, sure!” Football. Huh. The last time you were anywhere near a football was when you met someone from your college team at a bar. Well he wasn’t holding a football per se, but that counts right? You only remember how much of a douche he was, trying to hit on one of the girls from your group after getting entirely too wasted.

“Awesome! I’ll hit you up when the next game is set!” It’s almost impressive how he doesn’t notice all the tension emitting from your body. In fact, you have a feeling he’s actually enjoying himself and your company.

The rest of the dinner goes by in the same manner. With him happily answering all your questions and you slowly discovering just how little you both have in common.

He is a gentleman though, that you can’t deny. When all the food has been cleared away he immediately swoops in to pay the bill, ignoring your insistence at paying for your half at least. He really isn’t a bad person, just the opposite. Besides your difference in interests, he is a sweet guy overall, and you do find him to be physically attractive. There’s just no spark, no silver lining that keeps you wanting more. When you both get out of your seats he offers to drive you back to your place but you politely decline. You say it’s because you don’t want to trouble him but in reality you need space for yourself to think.

As soon as you arrive home you take off your shoes and plop yourself down on the couch, running your hands through your hair. You check your phone, a few notifications from ‘Hazel’s Nuts’ popping up.

Scarlet: Do you think she’s done with her date yet??

Hazel: Hey Y/N how was it?

You had told them about this date beforehand and they were excited to root for you, which did bruise your ego a bit since it reaffirmed your unreturned attraction to them, but also prompted you to go through with it. This last notification was from 45 minutes ago but you couldn’t reply since you were still at dinner.

You: hi I just got back!

You don’t expect them to respond right away but to your surprise:

Scarlet: And???

You: it was meh

Hazel: That bad huh?

You: no nothing like that!

You: he’s really cute and all, it’s just we basically have nothing in common

Scarlet: Aww poor Y/N (sad emojis)

Hazel: Hey happens to the best of us

Hazel: Actually I wouldn’t know cause I’ve only been with fox boy

You: thanks anyway, i appreciate it Hazel

Maybe it’s cause you’re a little tipsy, or maybe you just feel so open and vulnerable around them tonight, but the next text you send is especially honest.

You: ughhh idk guys i’m just so lonely!!! why can’t things just work out for me for once! Like the first real date I go on in years and this happens :(

They don’t respond for a long time. So long in fact you start to get worried that you exposed too much about yourself.

15 minutes pass by but to you it feels like hours. You’ve already removed all your makeup and changed into your pajama shirt. You relocate to your bed, checking your phone again, thinking of a way to play off your last text as a joke when:

Hazel: If you’re so lonely maybe you could adopt?

You grin to yourself, glad that they’re not being judgmental. Their concern for you resets your mood.

You: ha ha you know my apartment doesn’t allow pets

You: but honestly if i could i would, cause i’d definitely get a little kitty

Hazel: I’m flattered

You: thanks but i meant a real cat

Hazel: Either way i’m flattered

Scarlet: HEY what about foxes??

You: pretty sure owning a pet fox is illegal here Scar

Scarlet: (angry emojis)

Hazel: You heard what the lady said

You: anyways i’m going to bed

You: thanks for making me feel better guys <3

Hazel: Anytime

Scarlet: But hypothetically if foxes weren’t illegal you’d get a pet fox right??

You: of course i would sweetie

Scarlet: (happy emojis)

Scarlet: Yay!!! Goodnight Y/N!

Hazel: Night Y/N

You: night boys

You wake up next morning on your own time, checking your phone to see that you slept in till 11am. Wow, you haven’t slept that well in a while. Maybe it’s the stress from the previous weeks of non stop working, or the pressure to maintain your composure last night, but either way you knocked out like a rock. You sit up, lean back, and stretch your arms as far as they can go.

Today you’re meeting Karli at her place up north. She couldn’t ask you about last night since she was occupied, her seven year anniversary with her boyfriend Sunny coinciding with your date. But she assured you a couple days ago over facetime that today was going to be a girl’s day, no boyfriend included.

“Hey!” Sunny had popped out of nowhere in the video when he heard the news, a look of mock shock on his face. “I live here too! So what, you're just gonna kick me out of the house and leave me on the streets to starve?”

“My god stop being dramatic!” Karli had shoved him playfully off the screen. “I need girl time with Y/N and it’s not girl time if you’re in the house.”

“I can be one of the girls! Right Y/N?” He sounded betrayed.

“I know you can but I’m not the one who makes the rules.” You pointed out.

He sighed. “You got me there.”

Since you’re just spending time at Karli’s and getting takeout, you felt zero need to dress up. You washed your face, threw on an oversized t-shirt some old hookup left at your place (hey it was cute) and some tights, and tied your hair out of your face. This entire process took less than 30 minutes and next thing you know you’re ready to head out.

You sent Karli a quick text, letting her know you’re on the way. You grab a bottle of prosecco, your purse, and keys, saying a quick goodbye to your roommate Ayah on your way out. She gives you a small wave, reminding you that she, yet again, has to leave today for a whole week. You backtrack to give her a quick goodbye hug, telling her to drive safe, before you take off.

Karli’s place isn’t as far as the beach coffeehouse you frequent, but it’s still located in the wealthier side of town. The drive lasts a good 20 minutes but it feels a lot faster since you spend the whole time singing along to your favorite songs.

You pull up to Karli’s apartment complex, driving yourself to the guest parking space. Her apartment building is pretty tall, with a distant, but gorgeous view of the beach. 

Karli squeals when she opens the door, immediately giving you a big hug. When you break apart you hold up the bottle of prosecco in your hand, waving it in front of her face.

“I know you have the ingredients here so let’s make some spritz!”

“Yay!”

Aperol spritz is your favorite at-home drink to make with Karli. She had gone on a short trip to Italy in the summer between her two years at grad school and tried the drink there, completely falling in love. She googled the recipe, made it for you one day, you had said “Oh FUck that’s good!”, and the rest is history.

She grabs the bottle and quickly relocates it to her kitchen. Her energy levels are sky high today and you wonder what’s got her so elated. She’s skipping everywhere she goes, there’s a permanent smile etched on her face, and she’s humming non stop as she pulls you away from the front entrance.

Sunny emerges from the hallway, two hands in the air in surrender.

“I’m heading out, I swear!”

Sunny is a big teddy bear of a man, with tattoos splayed across his arms and a well-kept beard. There’s a term you learned online called ‘lumbersexual’ and that’s exactly the word to describe Sunny. He almost reminds you of Jason Momoa, the actor who played Aquaman. Those who just meet him think he looks intimidating at first but once you get past his height and size, you see just how much of a softie he is. He’s also extremely intelligent, working somewhere in the computer industry developing software.

Karli bounds over to him and gives him a big snuggly hug and tiptoes all the way up to give a quick kiss to his lips.

“Have fun babe! Love you!”

“Love you too! Also bye Y/N!”

“Bye Sunny have fun!” You smile as he treads out the door.

You both head to the kitchen and start making your drinks.

“Aren’t you extra chipper today!” You mention as you pour a splash of club soda into your glass.

“Am I?” She doesn’t look at you, wearing a mysterious grin, stirring her mixture with a straw.

After you both finish making your drinks, you head to her living room and settle onto her plush sofa.

Karli yawns, almost too dramatically, covering her left hand over her mouth. You quirk your eyebrow at her, wondering why she’s acting so weird until you spot it. There’s something large, something shiny, on her left ring finger.

“Oh my god….” Your entire mouth hangs open. “Oh my GOD!!! Is THAT…?”

“Yep!”

“Did HE -?”

“Yep!!”

“AND YOU - ?

“YEP I DID!!”

“YOU’RE ENGAGED?!?!?!”

“I KNOW!!!!”

What happens after is a shriek rivaling that of a pterodactyl taking flight after spotting prey, except the sound is just the two of you screaming and jumping up and down in Karli’s living room.

You bring her into a tight hug, so emotional that you’re about to tear up. And you’re not one to cry that easily.

“I’m so happy for you!” You pull apart and wipe a stray tear from your cheek.

“Thank you! I’m so happy too!” Her smile is also a little watery. “Like I knew he was gonna do it soon since we’ve been together so long but I’m still shocked you know?”

“I know!” 

“And I’m sorry. Today was supposed to be me asking about your date last night.” She dabs at her eyes. “Bryce really likes you too. He even texted me thanking me for introducing you!!”

“Oh shit...” You take this chance to drink your Aperol spritz. “I’m gonna be completely honest with you. It’s true he’s cute but there was no spark.” You give her an apologetic grin, knowing she really wanted this to work out for you. “Like don’t get me wrong he’s super nice and stuff but I just couldn’t find anything we have in common. I can’t believe he’s still into me?!” 

“Aw I’m sorry babe.” She pouts. “I really did think you would be a good match.”

“It’s ok. Anyways,” you wave her off, bringing up the more important subject at hand. “I’d much rather talk about your engagement! Like, hello?? You’re getting married, girl!!

Another squeal. You really hope her neighbors don’t complain.

“I know!! I literally don’t know what to think!” She smiles wistfully, like she’s on cloud nine, then brings her attention back to you. “Also you’re the maid of honor and you can’t back out of that.”

“I would never!” You gasp dramatically, one hand clutching your chest.

“But don’t worry!” She sets her drink down. “The wedding’s not happening till next year at least. We don’t have to start planning till way later.”

The rest of the day you spend chatting to Karli, prompting her to spill every single detail about the proposal. Even though you have no need to help her plan a wedding just yet, you can’t hold back from offering some ideas that spring to mind.

“I got it!!” You shout.

“You got what?”

“Hear me out,” you may or may not be a little tipsy at this point. “Goth wedding!” You say with jazz hands. Then you reach down to take another sip of your drink.

“Hmm…” She pretends to think about the idea, then giggles. “And that’s enough prosecco for you.” Plucking the glass out of your hand, she transfers it to her kitchen sink.

A couple more hours roll by. You both decide to watch a cheesy Netflix horror movie to sober up, paired with the Mexican takeout you ordered. By the time the credits roll, the sun has long since set, along with your alcohol buzz. You check the time on your phone, deciding it’s best to head home since poor Sunny has been respectfully out and about all day, giving you your girl time.

You give Karli one last big hug, murmuring into her hair how happy you are for her situation. She walks you to the apartment elevator, where you proceed to blow her a swift kiss right before the doors close in your face.

Reality sets in the moment you’re alone. Your head swims with thoughts as you drive back. Most of them are happy about your best friend’s engagement but you can’t discount the little ugly bubble of jealousy that wells down deep in your gut, reminding you of your own current situation. It’s not until you reach home that you realize you didn’t even play music in the car.

Ayah has long since gone on her business trip by the time you arrive at your apartment. The whole place looks dark and unwelcome, only highlighting the emptiness you feel inside. You trudge to your room and slump onto your bed. You try to scroll through social media as a way to distract yourself but you’re met, instead, by all the pictures and posts of happy people, showing off their achievements or bragging about their seemingly perfect lives.

You immediately lock your phone and throw it onto the blanket, the stress and anxiety from the last few months building to a boiling point in your mind. Your biggest concern is you still haven’t figured out your lease situation, and you only have two more months to move out or find someone new. Ayah has tried her best to help you but she’s bombarded by business trips so no luck so far. You let out a small groan and bury your head in the pillow, deciding to sleep it off and worry about your problems tomorrow, even though it’s not even that late.

Right as you’re about to drift off into dreamland, your phone rings. You fumble around the covers until it’s in your hands and check that you have a facetime call from your two favorite boys.

Immediately your body jerks awake and you sit up, swiping the answer button.

“Hey guys!”

“Hi Y/N!!” Scarlet’s heart-shaped smile is taking up most of the screen but you can see a sliver of white and grey hair behind him.

Hazel elbows him out of the way. “Sorry were you sleeping?” He tilts his head, ears twitching. “Wait, it’s only 10 pm where you’re at. You never sleep this early.”

“No I wasn’t... I mean, yeah I was trying to sleep but…”

You sigh. It’s their faces. Just seeing them through a screen, their wide, innocent eyes blinking up at you, makes you want to spill everything.

You nibble on your bottom lip for a moment. “I was just kinda having an existential crisis so I decided to sleep it off. No biggie.”

Scarlet’s eyebrows furrow in concern. After only two months, he can already tell when something is off with your tone of voice.

“Y/N what’s wrong?��� He looks up for a bit, pausing to think. “Was it the date last night?”

“The date?” Oh yeah the date. Yet another thing that didn’t go well. You totally forgot about that can of worms. “Not really… or actually kinda?”

You try to reorganize your jumbled mess of a brain and put your thoughts into words.

“So you know how I said I was going to Karli’s today?”

“Mhm,” they nod at you to continue.

“Well turns out she got engaged last night.”

“That’s awesome! I’m so happy for her!” Scarlet bounces a little, then quickly returns to a more serious tone. “But that doesn’t really answer my question.”

“Yeah I’m happy for her too.” And you genuinely are.

You pause for another moment, teetering on the edge of playing your emotions off like it’s no big deal or exposing all of your concerns yet again. Your need for an outlet to vent to wins in the end. For the first time you find yourself unable to confide in Karli because you want her to be happy and focus on the engagement rather than to be preoccupied with you. Before you know it, the words flow from your mouth like running water.

“It’s just that her announcement really brought me back to earth, and I started thinking a little too much about my own life.” You purse your lips. “I don’t know… I feel pretty selfish right now because she’s doing so well and I just can’t help comparing my life to hers. I’m so proud of her but it’s like everything in her life is coming together and I just want that for me also.” You throw your hands up in frustration, almost knocking the phone off from where it leans on your pillow. “I mean we’re the same age for god's sake! Why can’t I get my shit together??”

“Well you should be proud of yourself though,” Hazel cuts in. “Cause we are.” He gestures to Scarlet and himself.

“Yeah!” Scarlet chimes. “I mean you’ve got a full time job and a place to stay. I know you don’t feel like it’s the most ideal situation right now but please don’t discredit yourself.”

“Thanks guys.” You calm down a bit, but then you remember the whole issue with your apartment. Scratching the back of your neck, a habit you’ve picked up whenever you’re nervous, you say in a much smaller voice, “although my ‘place to stay’ might not last much longer.”

“What do you mean?” Both boys’ eyebrows are raised in confusion.

You realize you never mentioned your living situation to them, the topic always pushed to the back of your mind whenever they initiated conversation.

“Yeah.” A dry chuckle leaves your lips. “My lease ends soon and Ayah wants to move to a place of her own. And I have two months to figure out where to live or find another roommate.” You let out a frustrated huff. “She’s been so helpful but still no luck I guess.” You shrug in defeat.

You feel like a balloon that’s lost all its air, brain exhausted from running through all the problems in your life.

“Actually that’s pretty convenient for- ” Scarlet starts, but is elbowed again in the ribs by Hazel. “Ow!”

“Not yet!” The cat hisses quietly to him.

“Huh?” Now you’re confused. What in the world are they talking about?

Hazel turns back to you. “I’m really sorry about everything Y/N. If there’s anything we can do to help please let us know.” 

“Thanks buddy.” You offer him a small smile, choosing to ignore what just happened since they clearly don’t want to reveal anything just yet. 

Hazel then shifts to a more nervous stance, ears slightly flattening and both hands grabbing his floofy grey tail for comfort. It’s the cutest goddamn thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

“So Y/N, um, there’s a reason we called you tonight.”

You’re glad for a change in subject, a much needed distraction away from your downward spiraling thoughts.

“Oh right! Yeah. What’s up guys?”

Scarlet steps in front of him again, blocking most of the screen.

“We have a surprise for you!” He’s so close to the camera that you can only see half of his unblemished face but from the way his eyes crinkle, you can tell he’s giddy with anticipation.

“A surprise- ?”

“Yeah!!”

Hazel nudges himself into view again. “Quit hogging the whole screen fox! I swear to god next time we’re using the tv. I can’t see anything! Anyways,” he turns to you and smooths his shirt, expression back to stoic, “are you free next weekend?”

“I should be. Why?” You’re still a little lost on what the surprise is.

“Cause we’re coming back to town!” Scarlet blurts out.

“You are?!” Suddenly all your negativity melts away, replaced by excitement. Hard to believe just five simple words can shift your mood a complete 180°.

“But wait, there’s more!” You snort at how much Scarlet sounded like an infomercial just now.

“We’d like to invite you to dinner next Saturday night. If that’s ok with you?” Hazel isn’t as physically expressive as Scarlet but the hopeful shine in his eyes gives himself away.

You melt at his expression, heart rate speeding up. “Of course that’s ok! I’d love to!”

“Great!” He flashes one of his rare gummy smiles. “Saturday night. 7 pm. We’ll text you the details.”

“Yep!” Scarlet pipes in. “There’s something important we gotta ask- !” He lets out a small gasp, tail bristling, and clamps a hand over his mouth as if he just said something he shouldn’t have.

“What’s important?” You’ve gotta admit, your curiosity is at its peak right now, and it doesn’t help that they’re acting a little weird today.

Hazel rubs his temples in exasperation, groaning at Scarlet. “What part of ‘not yet’ did you not understand?” He then addresses you. “Sorry Y/N I promise we’ll tell you when we see you in person.” 

“Ok.” Cool. That’s fine. You’re a little nervous about what they have to say and it’ll be torture to wait but you’re a big girl and you can handle not knowing for a week. “I can’t wait to see you guys!!” you added.

“Me too!” Scarlet’s personality is so bubbly and contagious that you can’t help but smile back at him.

“Same.” Hazel lets out a small yawn. “Well we’re in a different time zone than you and it’s really late here so I gotta hit the hay.”

“Mk, go get your beauty sleep.” You give them a little wave. “And thanks for everything. I mean it.”

“No problem Y/N.” Scarlet also gives off a yawn, stretching his tired limbs. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

After ending the facetime call, you lie on your back, staring at the ceiling. Your mind is active once again, but this time it’s not clouded with self-deprecating thoughts. Instead, you spend the remainder of the evening theorizing about the ‘important’ things the boys have to tell you. Maybe you’ll finally find out their real names. Or maybe they’ll reveal something else about themselves, like why they’re constantly travelling, or what they actually do for a living. Either way you can’t wait for next Saturday to come around.

Previous | Next

[cpknightly1]

Hello Surgy Buddies,

Thyroid 2 B removed next month. Yes, I'm petrified. Of having my voice turn into a bar maids voice. 1% chance. (Not that there's anything wrong with that now) But, I could lose my singing voice. I've tried 2 think of a prank I could pull on the nurses & doctors..& I can't. If I do, I couldn't yell 4 help! Sh*t! I'm sure I'll think of something. Hehe. "I see dead people". Well, no. Maybe not smart 2 say that in a hospital.

I've been so busy cleaning & getting 2 the more simple life, I crave & used 2 have. Realizing how much crap I have. Putting things in a "Sale pile" & toss pile. I've got some comics 2 sell. I'm hoping they will sell good. Then there's the problem of having my landlords things mixed with mine. Never, ever blend separate households so early! I threw away a lot of my things when we were a couple."You don't need those, I have them". Ahhhhhh! She didn't have them in order. FGS Everything I had was alphabetized, sorted. The way I like to live. I don't know. I like being able 2 know where things R. Oh lord, a kick in the teeth. I used 2 tape "Friends" every episode. Minus the commercials. Yes, I paused my VHS machine. All tapes gone. 1 of the floods. SOAB. Has become a harder process. I wouldn't take her things. That's not me & it's just wrong. I found some of my make-up (yes, sometimes I wear it, the natural look especially when I'm wanting 2 look sharp, in a gigantic box. Wtf? My office is so beautiful. It's only been used as a storage unit 4 years. Christmas, Halloween etc. I designed it like a 1940's Detective office set in Michigan. Paint, wainscoting, sconces..so cool. Everything in there was made b4 1947 or carries the art deco feel.

Some items I added from our time in history. A small bust of Chopin. The project was 2 b bare bones, not so fancy. A bit carried away of what I found on Etsy & Ebay. They were coming from all over the world.. Australia, Ukraine, The Czech Republic & more.

The old typewriter, radio, phone, furniture etc. The desk is very heavy. Made in 1935 & came cross country from California. I have real newspapers 1. D-Day 2. V-E Day 3. FDR Dies & 4. I had to get this one. It came from Michigan- where I'm from. It's a paper dated on my Birthday 1945 or 46. Pork butts were up. (No kidding). Ration stamps & Russian money my Busia brought over on "the boat".

I hope 2 put some pictures up once it's cleaned out. I have a great portrait of FDR. Planning on making it capable of opening & having a TV hidden behind it. My private room.

Busia's couch & chair were reupolstered, almost ruined in 1 of the floods. The furniture was brought over, also on the boat- from Poland. Many items were lost. I heard a woman who specialized in de-clutering your life. She said that if U go for 6 months, without using or needing it U don't keep it. There R boxes, plastic tubs, & bags all over my room. (The living room is my bedroom)

In the meantime my landlord has decided 2 renovate the living room, floor, hallway & kitchen. A wrench in my progress. It's wonderful 2 see things that R or had been precious 2 you. My Mom's graduation ring 1946. My Busia's wedding ring & a piece of her wedding dress. 2 out of the 3 pictures of my Grandfather smiling. Picture of my Uncle Boris in his half-track during the "Battle of the Buldge" & more. Yesterday going through dvds. Missing disks. Merlin-The L-Word-Charmed-Avatar & more. Video games missing discs. FRUSTRATING. They could B in the attic-basement in the storage unit. Sifting through every box. It's keeping me busy & stressed. She doesn't realize how much order makes your life easier.

I've been writing Ruby and the Kid's story. When I have a moment or 2 & trying 2 keep up as much as I can with Mail-YouTube-Pinterest. If I haven't responded 2 you the reason is that I'm working on all this stuff. You R always in my thoughts. Off I go again. Dinner time first. I adore you.

Always,

Chris

XOXOXOX

🌹❤🙃

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 146: Why Are We Still In This Basement

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kirishima nearly gave up on his dream of becoming a hero after freezing up during a sudden villain encounter. But then he watched an old interview with his hero Crimson Riot, in which Crimson admitted that he felt fear just as much as anyone. He said that having a manly spirit doesn’t mean being confident or not feeling fear; it means doing your best to live your life without regret. After hearing this, flashback!Kiri had a quick montage and turned into first-day-at-U.A.!Kiri, dyeing his hair and spiking it up and declaring that he was saying goodbye to his former self. Back in the present, our current beat-up Kiri thought to himself that he still gets afraid regularly, but that what he fears most is reverting back to the way he used to be. Hot Gum -- who, you will recall, had charged up an attack by absorbing the energy from the villain’s punches -- told the bad guys they had underestimated Kirishima’s manly heart, and then punched the shit out of them.

Today on BnHA: Hot Gum flashes back to when Kirishima applied for an internship at his agency. He was excited to have someone with Kiri’s “can-do energy”, but Kiri admitted that that was all he had, and that he wants to be more than that and be someone who can protect people. Back in the present, Chance the Rappa is all “I’m not dead yet!” and gets back to his feet. Hot Gum is all “oh shit”, but then Rappa directs him toward a room with first aid supplies and tells him to tend to Kiri’s wounds. He says that both sides are basically all out of strength, but he wants to continue the fight because he really!! loves!! fighting!!!, and so he wants the others to heal up because he’s taken a personal interest in them -- Kiri especially. Hot Gum heals Kiri up and congratulates him on being acknowledged even by the enemy. We then finally! cut to Overhaul, who’s headed down a corridor with Eri and one of his minions. He’s holding the finished quirk-be-gone serum, and he tells his new “temps” -- Toga and Twice -- to get to work.

I may or may not have lost my patience completely and started ranting and raving halfway through this chapter. Just giving y’all a heads up. I kind of hit my limit lol.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 176 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

OHHHHH SNAP YOU GUYS LOOK AT THIS

LOOK AT ALL OF THESE LOSERS

OH I SEE, DEKU, SO YOU STILL CAN’T TIE A FREAKING HALF WINDSOR, BUT YOU CAN TIE A BOWTIE HUH. OR IS THAT A CLIP-ON?? OH MY GOD IT’S A CLIP-ON ISN’T IT

MEANWHILE BAKUGOU WILL STRAIGHT UP JUST NEVER WEAR A TIE NO MATTER WHAT. BUT OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIM ALL DRESSED UP LIKE A KHR CHARACTER, YES, GOOD, I LIKE THIS

BEST JEANIST IN THE BOTTOM LEFT CORNER I SEE YOUUUU

AIZAWA DIDN’T BOTHER TO DRESS UP EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW HE’S CAPABLE OF IT. JUST WORE HIS NORMAL PAJAMAS UNIFORM LIKE USUAL. LAZY ASS

MIRIO I MISS YOU ARE YOU DEAD

ALL MIGHT WEARING A SUIT THAT FITS OH MY GOD. EVEN WITH IT BEING SCHOOL BUS YELLOW IT STILL LOOKS GOOD

TODOROKI’S BODY LANGUAGE IS MYSTERIOUS AND HILARIOUS

PRETTY MUCH ALL THE CHARACTERS FROM U.A. AND THE INTERNSHIP ARC ARE HERE, BUT THERE ARE OTHER CHARACTERS MISSING SUCH AS RECOVERY GIRL, NAOMASA, AND THE STUDENTS & FACULTY FROM SHIKETSU AND KETSUBUTSU. AND OF COURSE ALL THE VILLAINS

AND YET BEST JEANIST STILL GOT TO BE THERE EVEN THOUGH HE’S NOW LAID UP IN A HOSPITAL SOMEWHERE. GOD BLESS YOU

the hype text is talking about the climax of the battle against the Eightfold Cleansers. dare I hope?? this arc has gone on for a bazillion years. and it feels even longer due to me taking such a long time to read it. but I recently passed chapter 100 in the tumblr recaps, and I thought to myself that I’d better get going again or before I know it I’m actually going to catch up and not have anything new to post lol

all right! so Hot Gum just finished punching the shit out of those two villains and now they’re KOed. thank fuck

but Kiri isn’t looking good omg

GET HIM SOME HELP

Kiri’s weakly mumbling “who’s there” and Hot Gum is all “IT’S ME, FAT GUM, I’M JUST HOT NOW”

Kiri’s really out of it and muttering that he’ll protect him. “gotta do... what I can...”

and wow. are you guys really gonna do this to my emotions right now. really. really

now we’re flashing back to the first time they met, I guess! they’re at FG’s office and FG is all “wow Tamaki you actually brought a friend”

and he recognizes Kirishima from the sports festival and he likes the cut of his jib!

he’s complaining that Tamaki always gets too nervous at the festival “and ends up in last place every year!”

then how did he land this internship with you I wonder

(ETA: ??? mystery)

Kiri says that Fourth Kind said the same thing at his previous internship (about liking rambunctious guys with guts and a positive attitude)

but he says that’s all he has

oh shit Eijirou I thought we were done with your angst. this isn’t fucking fair, I yield already

YOU’RE NOT SWEETIE, YOU JUMPED IN TO PROTECT HOT GUM LIKE A CHAMP. JUST HANG OUT THERE AND REST NOW

-- ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

BUT THE HYPE TEXT. SAID. WE WERE REACHING THE GODDAMN CLIMAX

THEN FUCKING DIE ALREADY!!!

Hot Gum is thinking a bunch of “oh shit why isn’t he dead, I used up all my shit, we’re screwed” thoughts, and meanwhile I’m wondering if this arc is actually going to end, like, ever

can we please rescue Eri already please!! the Kiri flashbacks were good but even those went on for so long, and why the fuck is this stupid basement arc being dragged out like this?! WHY. I GIVE UP

Chance the Rappa is telling Hot Gum to tend to Kirishima’s wounds. at first he refers to him as a kid, but then he changes it to “man”

whatever dude I don’t even care. that’s so nice that you respect him, now could you please LIE DOWN AND DIE ALREADY so we can save Eri!! and find out what happened to Mirio! and see what Aizawa and THE GODDAMN MAIN CHARACTER are up to jesus christ

but no we’re still in this scene! Hot Gum’s staring at him like “are you serious”

all of this happened because Horikoshi started working on that fucking movie. that’s it, isn’t it. all his energy was going into that and he started neglecting the actual series. and we get stuff like this that no one fucking cares about and it should have ended five chapters ago

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m actually starting to look back fondly on the damn Hosu arc. remember Stain?? he may have never shut up, but at least he was defeated within a reasonable amount of chapters, and didn’t lead a bunch of heroes through a boring maze to take on a bunch of fifth-tier villains. who don’t even have interesting character designs because they’re all wearing THE SAME GODDAMN MASK. AND IS THIS SOME SORT OF PURGATORY, OR WHAT

but fine! gotta power through! so now Tengai is also sitting up because OF COURSE HE IS, and he’s telling Rappa not to act so selfishly, and to remember his duty, and blah blah blah

aaaaaaand Rappa’s stomping on his face

THEN FUCKING DIE!!! HOLY SHIT I’M GOING FULL BAKUGOU HERE. IS THIS HOW HE FEELS ALL THE TIME. NO WONDER HE CAN’T STAND ANYONE

Hot Gum’s asking wtf does Rappa want, and Rappa says he wants them to kill each other

now he’s telling us his life story!!

he came from an underground fight club where people were allowed to use quirks

did he actually kill all of them. psycho

now he’s screaming at Hot Gum that he really wanted a good fight that actually challenged him. “the kind of power that only comes from putting your life on the line”

he says the two of them met his challenge, “especially the red-head”

please leave him alone. you’re already well on your way to becoming my least favorite character in the whole fucking series, which, wow

he’s shouting for them to heal up so he can continue their death match

you... do realize that’s not the greatest incentive, there

Rappa’s walking to the fucking door

Hot Gum is all “you know you lost the fight and you’re gonna be arrested, right?”

but Rappa says he didn’t lose and that if nobody dies then it’s a draw

and Hot Gum’s just watching him like “wow what a weirdo”

and now he’s picking up Kirishima who looks so small in his arms! :/

:|!!!!

Rappa is STILL there for some reason, and he’s all “I want another proper go at killin’ him!”

WE KNOW. YOU WON’T FUCKING SHUT UP ABOUT IT AND THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER HAS JUST BEEN YOU NOT SHUTTING UP. AND IT’S PROBABLY ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE FOURTEEN-PAGE CHAPTERS, ISN’T IT. IT IS, ISN’T IT

EVEN KIRI’S SLEEPING FACE CAN’T SOOTHE MY FRUSTRATION

EVEN THOUGH IT’S SO PURE AND SWEET AND OH MY GOD PLEASE HELP HIM

jesus fuck, we finally cut to another scene, and just for a moment I dared to hope we were finally cutting back to something else relevant

but no

I mean, I won’t complain that they’re taking the time to show how Kirishima got treated so he didn’t fucking die. that makes me feel a little better. but if they don’t cut back to Deku and co. within the next page, I’m about to full on lose it

what the fuck is this guy doing here??

so we’re just best friends now. he’s just gonna hang out with you all for the rest of the arc

and why not, let’s ask him all about his past, because it’s so fucking interesting. fuck

and with that, we cut to another two-chapter flashback all about Rappa’s fight club. and it features no fewer than seven new side characters, several of whom end up getting their own flashbacks. because that’s all life is anymore. it’s flashbacks and side characters all the way down

but really he’s just answering that he became a villain because Overhaul’s the only guy he ever lost to

Overhaul why couldn’t you have just kept him disassembled

ooh we’re actually gonna see it

if only

god damn it Overhaul

(ETA: so how come he remembers all this anyway? when Overhaul did the same thing to the Tarantino gang, they lost all memories of their encounter with him. his control over his quirk is so great he can even control whether or not a person’s memory stays intact?? damn, Overhaul)

lmao since then he’s gone on to challenge him five additional times. wtf. what did you expect to change

Hot Gum is like “um so you’re telling me Overhaul could take on this guy with all his speed and power like it was nothing?”

well, yes. since all he has to do is touch him, and poof, dead

so he’s wondering why Overhaul is making his underlings do all the fighting for him while he runs and hides

because that’s what underlings are for, Dumb Gum

he asking what does Overhaul want to do

(ETA: yeah you stfu Tengai)

that’s not very specific or helpful

oh shit. but he’s adding that he overheard him talking about how he’d be “spreading” something, “and lots of it”

ERIIIIII

WHOSE HAND IS THAT ON HER ARM, IS IT HIS?? YOU FUCKING CREEP

oh my god finally finally finally we’re getting back to the fucking plot

I’m not even relieved. I feel more like someone who just weathered a natural disaster and is all “how am I even still alive”

so we’re going back in time a bit to right after the invasion started

don’t think about how they could have cut right to this and shrunk the cast down to just the essentials and cut Kiri’s fight time in half without losing any impact. don’t think about how we could have been done with this arc already. don’t think about

okay so the guy in the hooded cloak (I straight up forgot his name, it’s been ages. future me will have to pick up my slack) is carrying Eri, who looks terrified

(ETA: oh is that how it’s gonna be. lol. this is Chronostasis, everyone. and I’m pretty sure past me thought this was still the bearded babysitter guy tbh. but just wearing a cloak now. in my defense, there’s literally no way to tell that it’s a different guy)

they’re talking about the future of the Precepts

Hood says this is the end for them, but Overhaul says that as long as he and the boss are around, the Precepts won’t die

apparently most of their henchmen are loyal to the boss and not Overhaul

oh snap look at this

“finished” product???!

holy shit. it may have been a while, but you can bet I haven’t forgotten the most intriguing thing about this arc

-- HOLY SHIT?!

VILLAINS THAT I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT OMGGGGG

TOGA!! AND TWICE!!! MY TWO FAVES!

YOU GUYS AREN’T ALLOWED TO DIE JUST FYI!! I SWEAR TO GOD IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU GUYS AND FUCKING RAPPA STICKS AROUND INSTEAD, I WILL RAGE QUIT THIS SERIES

fucking finally something interesting is happening omg

so I guess next chapter will be what I was hoping for from this chapter. lol this was almost a complete waste of time. talk about last minute saves

BONUS:

Bakugou out here saying what we’re all thinking

why are Sero and Kami so damn zen. you guys are MIA too, you know. is it really so funny to see Baku all pissed off that it’s worth not being in the story yourselves for 40-something chapters? ...okay, fair enough. you trolls

but I’m sorry Horikoshi, it says a lot that even you acknowledged this in an omake, joke or no joke. it means he definitely noticed how the arc reads in hindsight and how long it stretches on for

thankfully I’m pretty sure this is the last of the really dull chapters. League of Villain antics are just around the corner, and then our best boy Mirio will finally be up to bat. finally a light at the end of the tunnel y’all

[myinnerwasteland]

Fuck I’m just really feeling things man

God I feel so upset, or is that I’m genuinely not in the mood. I’m unhappy this very moment. It’s been slightly over an hour I think. A lot of shuffling from place to place has happened within that duration. Something which is not a bad thing but unusual for me as I don’t leave my house at all unless it’s essential. Fgs I postponed my interview dates several times already because I didn’t wanna leave but always pictured the process of the interviews going down however. So that meant I was hopeful to go to them soon but it was always a just not now so let me make that not happen thing. Funny, today I’m gonna postpone another upcoming interview. I just can’t. I want to but I can’t. I’m never ready. Everything’s always rushed even when there’s time and there’s never time so mostly it’s always just rushed. I do it to me. I do it all to me, the lateness, the no sleep, all the other wrong things in me I do it. Knowingly, purposely with all the control that I have yet so uncontrollably I do it. Anyways fuck off, you see how I just drift off to some next shit when I’m trying to say the thing I came here to say? Yeah my mind just does that and I have to have it written before it flies out and it always flies out then I feel a bad feeling bc I let that happen. I’m all about trying to better myself and do all the things that I want so I’m not slightly upset or frustrated or sad or whatver the bad fuck I am when something doesn’t go right. And I only talk about the little personal things that build me up as a person really. Not common human habits or factors. Just them personal me things that don’t go right. And look I did it the fuck again. Off track and onto some other invalid valid point ...smh. Anyways yeah I came here just to get it out about today. Nothing at all dramatic. But just me. I had an interview today I had to go to as my lie to postpone it favoured a solution I had to go with and so a reschedule wasn’t possible so I spent the whole of yesterday and last night till the sun rose coming closer to completing my portfolio pages. I didn’t even come close to finish. I am so disappointed in me for wasting my talent and potential like this. I have so much to do and show man. I spend all my time doing nothing. I am still the same old girl who is still doing shit she’s not supposed to last minute. Will I ever fucking change? I can’t even change that one vital thing about me. How am I gonna change in other major ways I want huh? Another thing, why the fuck can I always construct and bend sentences together perfectly in my head but the second I blurt it out I sound like a fucking amateur. Well to me anyway. You are your biggest critique after all. Soooo back to today, lemme get straight to the point now yeah it got deep on that Uber ride home. I was sleepy and hadn’t realised it till the journey was sadly ending. It was a sad factor and it was sunny but I was down so that made me feel less, the interview was not what I expected. So Let’s backtrack a little tho. I had good morning, I was doing my portfolio, gave up on time and cleaned up the shithole of a mess on the floor of my room and had a shower, got out in time to decide what to wear and my first outfit banged so good I’m planning on wearing it to all my interviews and next group outing. I’m still sitting here writing in it. Relating to this I was super sad bc all I wanted was an outfit picture, it was sunny and any place was a bomb background for this outfit bc it was central area. But no one exists that can take a picture of me in places. God send me someone like that. (God my eyes are doing that tired wanting to close thing) I haven’t had an all-nighter in ages. These days I eventually fall asleep at 8 or 9 am or whatver but I still sleep. All-nighters have me all good and energised in the peak of mornings still. Till afternoon when things quieten down and humans settle in the day or if it comes to to mid point of whatever it kicks in. And so on the way home it kicked in.

It was about ten past four bc that’s when my Uber finally arrived. Fucking cunt had to cancel the first one bc he literally was lost and he was always getting the fuck further and further away from destination point. I was lost too with heavy big ass portfolio folders I carried side from side having to walk in all kinds of directions till I found the place. Talk about being a tourist in your own city. Man was i lost. Anyhoo the guy was dodging my calls too, he was in the fucking car so how could pretend to not hear it call. Ring ring birch it’s ya customer answer the fucking phone. I was just getting vexed now bc I called three times and it took 25 seconds for it to dial wtf and with no answer ever. I was just finally standing there at location waiting for this bastard till finally i cancelled and got another Uber. He came like 15 after I confirmed but at least I was notified and I’d know this is how it is. Don’t just fuck up akd have me waiting tf I don’t have time to waste motherfuxker. Even though it was lovely out, young people and couples walking by and around. It was a nice place to be in and chill and just bloody be. A place I’d never seen and just taking in the nice light and parts of what my eyes saw all around me. It was lovely. But I was too annoyed to indulge. I chilled and texted my girl for a short bit and whatver I said last and I got no response and that was one thing I was thinking about on the drive home too. It was weighing me down with all the other things I was feelings. Especially the interview not going amazing. It was adequate af and not that I had expectations I just wasn’t overall pleased with it. Everyone else in the group had better answers than me and a lot more to say compared to the lot of bullshit that came out of me. The course was for them. I realised in that room sitting in the group interview how much this course wasn’t for me. These people knew what to say and what to talk about. I said all the wrongs things and talked differently to them all about the same subject and my words weren’t fitting in as well as the rest of the group. People were pleasant and it was all good with human connection. That was all good. It was just the questions that I couldn’t answer bc this wasn’t a particular interest like it was to them all. But it is my second choice if I don’t get into the top notch uni that I want to get into. I’d be happy to do this course nonetheless but I’m so many ways I doubt it. I can’t specifically say what exactly put me in a bad mood.,,... on wait I remember. It was just the way the other girls and that gay drag dude were all talking. They were saying all the things I think and say but like said before when I open my mouth the words in my head don’t come out. Some version that’s not as high as it should be comes out and they were all smart talkers to me and I just want to talk better like they can and it just bothers me that I can’t say all that I want to. This is because I literally forget anything I ever wanted to say and say basic shit summed up. I can only do anything I’m writing tbh.

I’ll come back to finish this. I been here too long. It’s gotten darker and slightly cold now

[itsuniqueminds]

How to tell someone you love with literally all of your heart the thoughts that go on In Your head when they make no sense to your self! Thoughts that literally consume your mind 24/7 and you’ve got to try and concentrate on things or do simple tasks, but your mind makes it so close to impossible it’s unreal! Having eating issues feels like it’s literally eating away at your life! How ironic is that👌🏻 lovely.

Absolutely frustrated and angry all the time and all I wanna do is rip the skin of my own body because it’s just not enough! It’s not good enough...not for anyone else...but worst of all not for me. How I wish I was good enough for my self..then no one else’s opinions would matter. They shouldn’t matter anyway. But they do. My anxiety cripples me so bad to the point when I don’t even want to be my self...so I put up this cocky front which..yes is me. I’m not pretending to me someone I’m not. But it’s not who I’d like to be all the time...I’d just like to be happy. Every single morning the first thing I’m thinking about is “if I lay flat on my back, are my hip bones and ribs sticking out more than yesterday” wtf! Why would I want that...it doesn’t look good...but here I am, knowing that it doesn’t look that great but anything thinner is better than what I am now! And I know...I’m not the worst I could be. I so wish I was happy just the way I am now! But unfortunately no. Depression, anxiety and the rest of it have other plans for me unfortunately. Don’t eat because it’s not worth it and you don’t care, but you can’t starve because what if you die, and you have to starve even if you die because your fat. Contradicting my own thoughts constantly. Fighting against my own mind. Tiring. Exhausting, fed up. Done. But not done. I wanna die, but I don’t wanna die. Stuck in an in between like I’m at a crossing, and there’s so many cars coming and I can’t make the decision to cross because I don’t know the outcome. Will I get to the other side or will I get hit by a car on my way. This doesn’t even make any sense to my self but I completely understand what I’m talking about in my head. I’m just getting so sick and tired of no one knowing how bad it is...meaning I’m not getting the right help. Meaning it drives me to doing stupid things like cutting and starving because yes...control. And distraction. And pain that isn’t just mental. But attention. Attention where it’s needed most but I don’t want to beg. So I hurt my self hoping someone will notice, someone will ask if I’m okay and help me as much as I need it. But I don’t even let other people close enough to see. How is that right in any way. Just tell someone how much your hurting...just tell everyone that you’re so done with feeling like this and you don’t want to die but sometimes it feels like an option because it’s one way not to feel the way I do.

It’s getting to the point now where I feel like I’m trying to force my self to get up and make food. Literally just sat here and told my self “make some cereal” about 4 times and I’m still sat here writing this because I’m getting so frustrated! Why can’t I just eat without it messing with my head. Why can’t I just do it!

I’m so scared of gaining weight it’s unreal! Exercise has started aswell...I’ll try and get there healthy but if that doesn’t work I have no option I suppose. Well....I know I shouldn’t think like that but that’s what goes through my head. I can’t help it. I don’t want to eat. Feeling proud of my self for saying no to food is another thing I’ve been feeling lately! Counting calories and feeling like 212 calories in a can of soup is too much and hating my self for having that one slice of bread with it. Constantly thinking about purging when I haven’t even done any binging. I’ve just eaten like a normal human being. “Normal” what is normal. I’m far from. I don’t want to be normal. Normals boring, but atm id rather be boring that feel the way I’m feeling. Wanting to scream and cry when it comes to having to choose something to eat. Especially when other people are there with me. But I just can’t physically let out my feelings like I want to. Body checks are getting worse. Driving me mad. I’m so angry at my self for putting my self through this! I don’t want to be like this...but then I suppose if I wasn’t as fat as I am. If I was actually good enough I wouldn’t hate my self and want to change as much as I do.

The road to recovery isn’t really successful atm as the more I try to get up and make some food, I’m once again getting used to feeling hungry all the time, feeling shakey and light headed. Feeling tired and run down. Wanting to cry every time I open the fridge to make my self something to eat. Literally feel like I want to beat my self up for how stupid I feel but I can’t physically do it. Like I just can’t. I’m gunna break down if I carry on like this. Getting shakey and so anxious when I had to eat something...urgh I need help man. I just can’t do it and it’s so frustrating. When I tell people I have an eating disorder or “eating issues” they tend to think that I just don’t eat and all food grosses me out. Wrong. I love food...actually I’m obsessed with food. It’s all I think about 24/7. My food intake and my body appearance and how I feel. Am I getting bigger..I feel like I am. I feel like my stomach is bigger. I’ve got more rolls. I haven’t weighed my self in weeks and weeks. Probably about a month and I can’t bare the thought of weighing my self and seeing a higher number to what was there before hand. Even 1lb. It makes me feel so sick I hate it! Urgh fgs why can’t I just be okay. Why can’t I just think normally, eat normally, be thin or at least thinner and look like an average, not over weight girl who generally loves life and doesn’t let this get in the way of her life. I want to get my life together. I want a decent job, I want to work my self up to the career I want! I want to be happy...truly happy with my self. I want to love my self so bad but I just can’t. As much as I think “it would be so easy to just wear this skirt and not care what my self or other people think. Just be free and careless” but it doesn’t work like that. My mind is too messed up and weird to think like that. It’s like my body just hates me! Why am I like this 😭

- (inmyfeelings)

[cpknightly1]

Hello Surgy Buddies!

Healing and going home, I hope! Insist to the nurse that you are indeed the Easter bunny and you need plenty of hard boiled eggs to paint for next year.

Don't worry. The food gets better when you're out.

I had the annual eye exam today. My eye Dr. is a little young Russian woman who likes to yell at you for not seeing her sooner. She was happy to see me today (relief) She told me I looked so different since the last time I saw her, thinner, healthier. That was nice. My eyes are great. I use reading glasses sometimes. Usually when the print on something is so tiny it's just a blob. Why do they bother to print things so small. And usually it's on medicine bottles. " Do not take this medication if you develop a rash. Some side effects include Headache, Drowsiness and DEATH. WTF?! There is no side effect for death. BOOM! You're gone. I don't know why they put this on the label. This side effect doesn't just go away FGS.

I found out something pretty amazing today. The Dr. said I have a "beauty mark" IN my eye. Seriously? LMAO

Any of you folks ever hear of this? I made the comment that Momma wasn't done with me, when I was born.

I have 3 now. Inside knee. Looks like faded California. Above my ear. (Under hairline) found this one after a haircut. And now in my eye. Pretty neat I think.

Happy to know the peepers are working great.

Started the new story finally. However I'd like your opinion. Winter, Fall, Summer or Spring? That's all I can ask. Hehe.

I'm multitasking to simplify and clean. I've found that music is a great motivator.

I used to listen when I cleaned my apartment. And for some reason vacuuming is like a meditation for me. Except I hope the neighbors aren't watching me dance at the same time.

Momma used to love the way I cleaned the bathrooms. Sparkly!

But once I used a mixture of "navel jelly and bleach". This created a toxic smoke!. I had to call Poison Control. No kidding. Momma is trying to mop it up and the man on the phone says "do you have any idea what you have made"? Get out of the house!".

To this day I still don't know what I made. I have to look it up. Listen, I wanted it to shine even more, and last longer.

So nice to have windows open and fresh air isn't it?. Let out the stale air. My Lilacs are budding and the Lily of the Valley is poking up.

However I already had my first encounter with a bee. For some awful reason stinging insects love me.

I was on my way home from work once, and found a wasp in the car. I got off the expressway opened up all the doors, in a panic and waited.

A guy comes up and asks me if I was ok. He must of thought I was out of my mind.

I stepped on a bumble bee when I was a kid. Right into my big toe. Ouchie! Ever since I think the stinging bugs hate me.

If it's possible ask your nurse to take you outside. Feel the freshness. It helps in your healing.

Please still wear the mask. This isn't over yet.

Always,

Chris

🌹❤🙃

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 142: HHAH!! *GRUNT* *PUNCHING NOISES*

Previously on BnHA: Tamaki faced off against three villains on his own. At first he managed to keep them at bay by generating a bunch of giant kraken arms, which was badass. But then it turned out one of the villains had an eating quirk and just kept eating the damn arms like fucking Gluttony or Monkey D. Luffy or something. The other two villains worked together to beat Tamaki up, but then Tamaki neutralized one of their quirks and fucking absorbed the other one’s quirk and used it against him. Needless to say, he beat them, and it was pretty cool, although I’m not quite sure it was cool enough to warrant an entire chapter being devoted to it, but what are you gonna do. We’re moving on now anyway, so that’s that.

Today on BnHA: Tamaki passes out after winning his fight. We cut back to the rest of the heroes as they make their way down the neverending corridor. Mimic starts messing with the walls again and tries to crush Aizawa, but Fat Gum knocks him out of the way and takes the hit for him. At this point things become very jumbled, but basically FG and Kirishima end up separated from the rest of the group, and find themselves in a pit somewhere with two new villains. One of the villains is a big guy who likes punching shit, and the other is a Buddhist monk who likes to stand around and do absolutely nothing at all. The punching guy punches FG and Kiri a bunch, and Kiri has trouble withstanding it even with his quirk. FG yells at him to not give up and to maintain his will to fight no matter what. He and Kiri face the bad guys in determination and are all “we’re gonna punch ‘em some more, goddammit.”

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 175 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

all right kids. it’s been two weeks since I last read a chapter. I just did a quick refresher of the past dozen chapters or so, partly to remind myself of everything that was going on, and partly to remind myself of all the cool things that have happened in this arc. it kinda helped. somewhat

Tamaki’s fight didn’t really drag on that much. it was just two chapters. it felt like an eternity -- despite the fact that I actually like Tamaki a lot -- but it really wasn’t that long

and yeah, it’s been like four chapters since they started this raid, and all they’ve basically done so far is run down a few hallways. but I feel like things have to pick up soon, so we’re going to press on

BnHA got the Jump cover again! hopefully that means things are about to get exciting

ooh and there’s a color page too

basically, now that he’s finished beating these three assholes, he’s dosed them with a bit of poison to keep them in check, and now he is passing out. shit

also, “that was far more trouble than it should have been” is one of the more accurate summaries I’ve read in some time

so now we’re finally getting back to our badass 1-A boys! yesssss. I missed you lunkheads

I kinda just want the rest of the arc to be them busting through wall after wall of the labyrinth until they finally catch up to where Mirio is. then Aizawa neutralizes Overhaul’s quirk and they knock him out and rescue Eri and everything is happy and good again. and Nighteye announces that All Might is not going to die after all, and it turns out this whole time he was just misremembering an old cliffhanger episode of the canon All Might anime. and they all live happily ever after etc. etc.

(ETA: you know that anon ask about what I’d change about this arc? scratch everything I wrote in response to that. pencil this in. done and done)

but SOMETHING TELLS ME this is not going to happen

all right, so we’re back in the ol’ villain labyrinth

I’m having so much trouble spelling the word ‘labyrinth.’ I keep mixing up where the y and the i are supposed to go. stupid English language

what the fuck is this title

lol wtf

(ETA: now that I know the meaning of this title, I simultaneously have new respect for the title itself, and new exasperation towards Horikoshi for somehow still failing to see the problem with this extremely dull matchup. listen dude. no one fucking cares if “defense wins championships.” I’m just a poor soul trying to stay awake during panel after panel of blurry punching action. please never do this to us again)

Kirishima’s all “is senpai gonna be okay”, and no one fucking knows, Kiri

but no. he’s not. why on earth did you all leave him. whatever

FG is annoyed that they’re doubting Tamaki

um, no, this is the kind of stupid policy that this series has so far done its best to avoid. in fact, FG, I’ll see your point and raise you one “a true hero offers help even when it’s not asked for”, which is almost the exact opposite of what you’re saying. so WHAT IS THE TRUTH

oh my god Kirishima is immediately doing a 180 from being worried about Tamaki to being all “HE’LL BE FINE”

so am I to understand that you can get Kirishima to say or do anything just by implying that it is or isn’t manly

...actually, yeah, that checks out

so Kiri is fiercely saying that he’s still worried, but he has no choice but to believe in him

meanwhile Rock Lock, whose name was actually mentioned back in like chapter 138 but I missed it but I picked up on it when I went back to refresh my memory, is being annoyed by their enthusiasm. yet again

I feel like Rock Lock actually loves these kids now. right? they’re so fucking lovable. how can you not

(ETA: everyone gives in to class A’s charms eventually)

so now they’ve found some stairs and they’re all “let’s take these stairs”

but then they’re like “maybe we shouldn’t take these stairs”

this kind of indecisive bullshit is exactly why this arc has taken 500 chapters so far you guys. come the fuck on already

Aizawa is suspicious because wth happened to that guy who was manipulating the corridors before

well wasn’t he high af though? so maybe the quirk enhancing drug just wore off and he passed out?

Aizawa is speculating that his range might be limited and he can’t sense them all the way over here. or maybe he’s distracted by the other guys who were still fighting him earlier

I’m tired of trying to sum this all up so I’m just gonna post it

this is the room where Tamaki just finished kicking these guys’ asses. oh shit

now Irinaka’s eye is peeking out, and he’s all mad that the three of them lost to just one guy

and now for some reason we’re cutting back to where Bubble Girl and Captain Cockroach (I forget his name. but it was basically something like that) are restraining the villains who they previously stayed behind to battle

they’re questioning why the villains who were in hiding came out of the woodworks to attack them when they could have potentially gotten away if they’d just stayed put

but one of the villains says that if they’d done that, “Overhaul would have our heads”

this is why I don’t really understand villains like that last bunch who are so fucking loyal to a guy who clearly could not give less of a shit about them

and it seems like most of the current Eights are more loyal to the previous boss than to Overhaul

clearly the previous boss should have picked a 13-year-old peace-loving suburban Japanese kid to be his next heir rather than Chisaki. this is what happens when you don’t have Reborn around

anyway, even though these guys are all complaining about Overhaul, they’re all certain that the heroes aren’t going to succeed in capturing him

-- WHAT IN THE

DID A GIANT BATTERING RAM THING JUST EXPLODE OUT OF THE WALL AND SLAM INTO AIZAWA BECAUSE HOLY SHIT?!

AND NOW IT’S MAKING A HOLE IN THE WALL AND SHOVING AIZAWA INTO IT SHIIIIIT

LEAVE AIZAWA ALONE FOR ONCE, HE NEVER GETS TO DO ANYTHING IN THESE ARCS. LET HIM KICK SOME ASS

Fat Gum is tackling the giant wall hand and knocking Aizawa away from it!

so now Fat Gum has been punted through the hole in the wall instead

I’m relieved Aizawa is still with the kids, but we’re staying with FG, and I s2g if we have to spend another two chapters away from the protagonist watching characters who -- as lovable as they are -- we’d never even met before the start of this arc, I’m not gonna be super happy

-- OH MY GOD

KIRI YOU BLOCKHEAD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

motherfucker, he jumped in to take the hit for Aizawa too and then Fat Gum obliviously jumped in behind him and Kiri got sucked in and FG didn’t even realize

well this is just fucking great

so now some guy is emerging from the shadows ready to have fisticuffs!

and Kiri is going into Unbreakable mode again!

should you really be using your trump card right away like that. the trump card which you can only hold for a very short amount of time

um what in the

I’m not really enjoying how blurry and indistinct and difficult-to-follow these action panels have been getting as of late. it’s starting to feel like this series is finally entering a sophomore slump. get it together BnHA, c’mon

anyway, this guy looks to be punching Fat Gum really hard and possibly repeatedly. kind of like when All Might fought the Noumu at USJ

hmm

honestly it sounds like this guy was born to fight Kirishima in an epic showdown

“people oughta kill each other using just the power they got in their bodies” oh, you wacky Honorable Villains. you guys are always all over the place

FG’s turning to Kirishima, but OH SHIT

relax, I’m sure he’s fine though

ah, yes, good

this is probably gonna look really cool in the anime which will make up for this panel being something of a blurry mess right now

(ETA: just to clarify, when I originally read this chapter, I wound up with FA’s original scanlation which was significantly lower in quality. I’ve since found their version 2.0 which used cleaned-up scans which are very much improved.

here’s the original for comparison:

so yeah, the improved scans alone help to make this fight a significantly better read this time around. it’s still dull, but at least it’s readable now lol)

now FG is... trying to punch the other guy, but like. well, take a look

FG is very confused

and now another villain is there! were you there this whole time omg

okay so it must be his barrier then, right?

must... resist... urge to call him Chance the Rappa. no one else thinks it is funny. just you

but you know what. it’s my recap though. so

(ETA: honestly, this association is the only reason why he’s one of the few Eight Expendables whose names I actually recall)

so now Chance is punching FG again and it looks like it hurt him. damn

you know what I didn’t sign up for here. another fight with a tier 3 character where there is no plot advancement and where the villain’s quirk appears to just be “I punch stuff real hard.” wtf. goddammit BnHA, I’m rooting for you so get your shit in order already

so now the barrier villain is referring back to the title and clearing all of that up

actually, Kiri is spear and shield all in one. just saying. boy knows how to throw a damn good punch. who do you think was smashing through all your labyrinth walls earlier

so now Kiri is climbing back to his feet and thinking that the dude’s punches hurt him even in his Unbreakable mode

now there’s a single flashback panel of Bakugou, and my god. I’ll take it. where are you, son. how’ve you been. how’s my other son. I’ve been stuck in a villain labyrinth with side characters for the past half dozen chapters. I hope you’re off having a nice time somewhere

Kirishima is looking like he’s about to get all When The Going Gets Tough THE TOUGH GET GOING

oh! what’s this??

is this... flashback Kiri???

are you telling me he’s not a natural bright flaming redhead. what the hell. next you’re gonna tell me Mina’s not a natural pink and that Deku’s been dying his hair green since childhood

although in Kirishima’s case, he did look up to that Crimson Riot guy seemingly in the same way Deku, Shouto, and Kacchan admired All Might, didn’t he? so maybe it’s got something to do with that

FG is shouting at him not to let up his Unbreakable mode, and that if his spirit breaks that’s when he’ll really lose

and the last page is just Kiri and FG looking gritty and determined. but Kiri’s in his Ben Grimm mode so it looks weird lol

look, I’m hella down for some Kiri flashbacks. I just don’t want this fight to take longer than one and a half chapters. that’s it. that’s my limit. starting a timer... now

BONUS:

I think maybe this bonus page is supposed to go with chapter 143, but eh. it works here too

so Rappa’s quirk is explained in another omake, and basically it’s something that allows him to rotate his shoulders really fast so he can punch a lot. to think, he could have been the next Michael Phelps, but instead he wound up being a third-rate villain in the most boring arc. such a waste

Tengai’s whole character just makes no sense to me whatsoever. why are you a villain. you’re so boring. nothing in your personality or backstory offers up any type of explanation for why you would be working for a murderous crime syndicate. it’s a complete mystery, but not in a cool way, more of a “none of this adds up in the slightest” type of way. just because you never open your eyes when you talk doesn’t make you cool you asshole