#i've been wanting to write this post for a while and im on break between job 1 and job 2

[legobiwan]

I know we've all been talking about revisiting the Super Mario Brothers Supershow since the release of the movie, but as a Super Mario Brothers 3 cartoon enthusiast, I would like to give you all a compelling list of insane reasons you should go watch this on YouTube right this instant:

The opening theme kind of slaps.

A lot of people get turned into dogs for some reason???

George Bush (Sr) ends up kidnapped by the Koopas and sent to the bottom of the ocean? Which, honestly, may have been the best outcome for 90s American politics.

Peach is into surfing and has an implied fling with some California stereotype surfer dude on Hawaii. Get it, Peach.

You want de-aging tropes? Baby Mario and Luigi? Get 'em here.

Luigi is sent to seduce Wendy Koopa and succeeds. (This is Mario's plan, meaning Mario has utter faith in his brother's natural rizz). You have to watch this for Luigi's voice change, it's incredible.

Speaking of seduction, Luigi is mistaken for a 1,000 year-old mummy's husband. Mario is mistaken for...their son.

Yes, the brothers get into a BLOWOUT fight and it's amazing. Mario ends up brainwashed by Ludwig's mind-control device and the brothers have a very brief altercation.

I don't what the deal is with the Mario franchise and brainwashing/possession/mind control, but in a separate episode, Luigi and Bowser fight over a mind-controlling music box.

Peach is apparently a big Milli Vanili fan (you have to love the 90s) and rope Mario and Luigi into going to a concert in the Real World. Look at these two DORKS compared to Peach, who is effortlessly fashionable. (Granted, Toad gave them bad intel, but I don't think either brother has been "cool" in his entire life).

NERDS.

Mario ends up with a case of PTSD after almost drowning. I wish I was kidding, but this episode goes kind of hard if you think about it. (Not to mention the fish lady who is relentlessly pursuing him for marriage).

The Boys Do Venice.

Bowser takes a "Nice Guy Potion" in order to try to sabotage an election.

Three words: Zombie Trash Koopas

A family from Wichita end up in the the Darklands in their very typical station wagon. Hijinks ensue.

Some of the later episodes kind of turn into awkward Saturday afternoon specials with messages about gossip, racism, recycling, and worker's rights, which isn't exactly what one would expect from a Mario Brothers cartoon, but if you remember the 90s at all, this kind of tracks.

This being said, the episode where the Koopa kids go and try to take over the 7 continents relies on some unbelievably (awful) hilarious stereotypes (again, it was the 90s). But we do get to see Luigi on ice skates, which is a win.

Bowser kidnaps Luigi as bait. It works.

I'm just going to leave you all with this final screenshot.

[rkvriki]

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ enhypen obliviously in love

hi.......lmfao i keep disappearing i swear i'm alive but my isnpo has been going down the drain but i got this cute lil idea also to take a break of all the smutty things i've been posting lolz... anyways hope you enjoy this one !

make sure to leave feedback and reblog! my requests are closed and my talk box is always open so lets talk!

WARNINGS ! none really i think?? this is just not my best work im sorry </3 word count: 1.9k a/n: sorry that some of them, mainly hee's, are smaller than others, my brain isn't functioning and i had a writer's block during this and if it's not goo it's bc i quite forced myself to write this bc i wanted to post sth :(

୨୧ LEE HEESEUNG ! - trying to hold your hand and failing

you and heeseung met through mutual friends in your first year of college and you became almost inseparable ever since then. in the beginning of it, you would only be together when the whole group was, but as time went by and you both started feeling more than just platonic feelings you two started hanging out alone as well. it was usual for heeseung to walk you to your apartment after classes and today was no different. you two walked side by side, the sun almost setting behind you. it was mostly quiet except for the background chatting and the small talk you two would make about something you saw. you could feel heeseung’s hand brushing against yours from time to time and you were internally cursing him out for not holding your hand already. after a few moments of silence, you heard heeseung sigh as he gained courage to hold your hand. his hand got closer to yours but- oh! a light post came between you two. needless to say heeseung was a blushing mess while you laughed at him.

୨୧ PARK JONGSEONG ! - confronting you about it

anyone had to be really blind to not notice the romantic connection there was between you and jay. it was so obvious you were both in love with each other, it was almost painful how one of the sides didn’t notice. that side being you. it’s not like you didn’t like jay romantically, because you do. a lot. but you felt like he just saw you as a best friend he tends to protect a lot. jay didn’t really show it, but he gets really frustrated when he tries to make a move on you in a subtle way, only for you to put him in the friend zone, but it’s all unintentional. every time someone tells you “jay totally likes you.” you’re quick to dismiss them because he would never see you like that. even though you’re the one saying it, it breaks you inside. until one day, you’re both in a diner, sharing fries and a milkshake and you can see jay fidgeting nervously and bouncing his leg repeatedly. “you’re restless, what’s going on?” you ask him, worried. jay sighs heavily and props his elbows on the table, staring at you with a serious expression. “look, i don’t know if i should just give up, because at this point you have to be pretending not to know.” he says “T-to know what?” he laughs at that. “that i like you, dummy.”

୨୧ SIM JAEYUN ! - tries to kiss you and fails

as childhood friends you and jake were always expected to end up dating by your fellow family members. you would always brush off any comments about you two (deep down you wish they were true) while jake just smiled like a fool while looking at you. it was no surprise when jake told his friends he liked you. it wasn’t hard to notice how he felt about you, seen the way he looks at you with glimmering eyes as he took in every word you say. he has never really tried to hide how he felt about you. he wasn’t ashamed of it and couldn’t wait for the moment you realized he liked you, because deep down he knew you felt like him too. it’s funny to him how he’s always making flirty comments and giving you kind of romantic presents and still you just thought he was playing his role as your best friend. but still, even though it was all funny and entertaining to watch, jake was tired of waiting and he decided to just directly show you how he feels. so that’s how you find yourself sitting in the park bench with him as layla plays around. jake takes a quiet deep breath as his hand comes up to brush your hair from your face, making you face him. he takes that as an opportunity to lean down. you, thinking he was gonna whisper something, turned your face to the side, making him bump his head against you. he starts laughing at you, making you confused. “you can’t really see it, can you?”

୨୧ PARK SUNGHOON ! - misunderstanding gone right ?

no one who knew you two understood how in hell you and sunghoon weren’t a couple. it was so obvious you both liked each other but still none of you seemed to do anything about it. you two were your class’s representatives so you two were almost always together and it wasn’t too hard to notice the lingering touches or stares you shared. but something the other students didn’t know was that you two had actually talked about your “feelings”. one day sunghoon almost overheard you telling your friend you liked him. “you like me?” he had asked “no! no, i don’t like you, sunghoon.” you answered trying to play it off. he nodded, his lips pursing. “good, then because i’m in love with someone else.”. it was something along those lines and you two had never talked about it again, but the tension never left. it felt heavy on you and it was painful to spend time alone with sunghoon so you settled that you were gonna tell him the truth. “remember that day you asked me if i liked you?” he hummed as he stopped in his tracks. “well, i lied. i like you, actually. i don’t want things to get awkward because you don’t feel the same but i needed to be honest.” his eyes widened as he stared at you like you were crazy. “are you kidding me? i only said i didn’t like you because you said you didn’t like me.” you gasped and pointed an accusing finger at him “why did you lie then? you said you were in love-” “hey! don’t put the blame on me now you lied too.” “well, we still can fix it right?” you said laughing making him do the same.

୨୧ KIM SUNOO ! - “PFT! who would ever like me?”

you and sunoo weren’t the closest people ever but you two spent a lot of time together since pretty much all of your friends were mutual. still, that fact didn’t stop you from developing a silly crush on him that quickly turned into something more serious the more you got to know him in the very few times the two of you were left alone after a group hangout. no one knew about it except for your best friend. you never told sunoo, not because you were afraid of rejection or him being rude because with how sweet his personality is, he would’ve rejected you in such a friendly manner it would make you think he’s reciprocating the feelings, but because no one like him would ever like you, he was way out of your league. so, confessing was definitely out of question, no matter how much your best friend would insist you would simply not do it. but in reality, it wasn’t really like that. one day you were hanging out with sunoo and your best friend at a cat cafe when suddenly in the conversation you said something along the words of “who would ever like?” and bold sunoo, was not afraid to hide his sincere feelings and answered with “i do.” he smiled while you looked up blushing furiously. your best friend laughing maniacally. “w-what?” sunoo chuckled at your reaction. “i thought i made it quite obvious that i liked you, silly.”  oh! who would’ve guessed!

୨୧ YANG JUNGWON ! - heard you liked “someone else”

you and jungwon had met each other in sophomore year of highschool and it was safe to say there was a connection instantly that was more than just a platonic one. you two quickly became attached at the hip. if jungwon said he was going somewhere it was sure that you would be here two, if you were being invited somewhere they could already expect the “can jungwon come along?” question, and vice-versa. it wasn’t strange when people came up to either you or him and asked if you were dating each other and it honestly shocked everyone when you both would always answer no to it, even your own girlfriends found your “friendship” strange. they did not find the idea of a boy-girl friendship weird or impossible to exist but they just couldn’t see your dynamic as friends so it was bound for them to question you. you heard the question so many times you decided to just tell them “fine! yes, i like him so, what?” you saw their shocked faces but they weren’t looking at you. you looked behind you seeing jungwon behind you. when you locked eyes he was quick to turn his back and walk away making you panic. a few days have gone by after that and you decided you needed to talk to him. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner. i didn’t want things to get ruined by this.” jungwon stared at you “who even is tha guy?” he asked making you look at him as if he had three heads. “what?” you asked “what what?” “jungwon the guy is literally you, i thought that was settled already.” jungwon stayed silent before laughing like a maniac. “if you’re here to make fun of me you can-” jungwon shut you off with a kiss, making you relaize where things went wrong.

୨୧ NISHIMURA RIKI ! - i don’t even know how to word this one

let’s settle one thing. you two knew you both liked each other. romantically. you just don’t bother on labelling it or directly showing it to each other. everyone around you found your dynamic honestly weird but to you two it was more simple than people put it to be. it all started when you were really oblivious about ni-ki’s feelings for you so he decided to hint that he liked you more than a friend. like one time you were walking to his house and he just shoot “you look cute.” but you didn’t quite hear what he said, distracted by a dog “what did you say?” he sighed “i said you look like a fruit.” “riki that does not make sense, but whatever you say.” and he started gradually getting bolder. “i can’t get this song out of my head.” you told him during class “i can’t get you out of my head.” oh! that was new information for you “thanks…?” at this point you were acting dumb for him and he couldn’t take it anymore so he got even more straightforward. during one of your daily walks you were rambling about a flower you saw on the way and he just let you talk as his hand sneakily grabbed yours, making you stop talking and falter in your steps “what?” he asked as if it was nothing “n-nothing!” he smiled as he kept walking along with you. after that day he noticed a change. a good one. and that’s when he realized you had realized so he decided to just get to the point “is it weird if i kiss you?” he asked when you were eating lunch in the school garden. you put your drink down and turned to look at him. “honestly, riki? yes. do i care? no.” so with that he grabbed your face, kissing you as he smiled against your lips.

[imaginesig]

"Ditch the clowns, get the crown / Baby, I'm the one to beat"

Pt. 2 of “Can someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived”

Lewis Hamilton x ex!reader (barely)

Joe Burrow x singer!reader

SMAU

What happened between the breakup and Y/n's release of "The Tortured Poets Department: Eros." Once again I stole this entire story line from Taylor Swift. The timeline doesn't line up perfectly with the original but I do what I want

Music themed masterlist

Complete masterlist pinned on my profile

Yn_updates

Liked by user4, user83, user92, and 920,092 others

Yn_updates: after the drop of TTPD Y/n was seen at the Cincinnati’s Bengals game today!!

tagged: yn_ln

user1: she rlly said, bye futbol and went back to her roots

user2 it’ll always be Y/n and her little drink against the world

user3 chat what is going on

user4 I need Twitter to get working on a timeline bc the breakup album just dropped, but we think her and Lewis might have been broken up for a while before she went on break, but now she’s writing for a new man who is possible on either the Bengals??

yn_updates

liked by user98, user3, user1, and 928,282 others

yn_updates: Y/n at the last regular season Bengals game!

tagged: yn_ln

user1 ugh why does her break have to end before playoffs!! I don't want her to miss any games!!

user3 same! I've enjoyed seeing her and her fits

user2 even if it didnt the Bengals aren't predicted to go far this year

user4 I NEED to know what's happening bc there is no way she just up and decided to attend football games this religously

user5 and they're not just any football games, Bengals games. she didnt even grow up a Bengals fan, she was raised a Titan's fan

yn_ln

liked by user43, gracieabrams, sabrinacarpender, and 928,923 others

Yn_ln: Ugh South America!! Y’all are as beautiful as sparkling lights at midnight!! Big kisses to you all!! 🫶🫶

tagged: no one

user1 ahh best night of my life!!!

user2 she was so giddy and happy tonight

user3 im glad someone else noticed

user4 guys the surprise songs tonight where the first ones since the breakup about Lewis that she wasn't mad or sad

user5 was Lewis in attendance? Are my parents back together??

user6 nope, while Y/n was giggling her way through Delicate Lewis was attempting to overtake Lando in Italy

user7 we all see her smile right??

user8 I NEED to know who was behind it

user9 I've been searching but as of right now no one other than family and close friends were in the VIP tents

user10 when she sang it seemed like she directed it in one area of the crowd not the tents, so maybe this mystery person was on the floor

user11 normally I would call this theory crazy but people who were there said it was clear the second surprise song was clearly aimed at someone in the audience, but no ones been identified yet...

joeyb_9

liked by user93, lahhay10_, teehigins, and 823,929 others

joeyb_9: "You look like bad news, I gotta have you" or sum

tagged: lahjay10_

User12 HE DID NOT

user1 WHAT

user2 guys is this who I think it was

user3 my worlds just collided

lahya10_ great night- one for the books!

joeyb_9 you got that right

user4 OMG JOEY B AND J'MARR AT A Y/N CONCERT??

user5 im assuming we're all thinking the same thing...

user6 they were on the floor too, not in tents

user7 J'marr only posted a story about the night and didnt dress up, so it has to be Joe

user8 THE CAPTION HELLO

user9 brother thinks putting "or sum" makes it less obvious

user10 what if he's just a girl like us with hyper specific captions

user11 the fact that he dressed up on theme for the concert made him 10x hotter

bengals

liked by yn_ln, joeyb_9, user5, and 678, 982 others

bengals: "It's been a long time coming..." 🏆

tagged: no one

user1 admin you aint slick 🤨

user2 AND THE BENGALS ARE SUPER BOWL CHAMPS WHOOO

user3 AHHH DID ANYONE ELSE SEE Y/N'S FACE AT THE END

user4 her face?? Babe I saw her whole body go flying up when they won!

user5 ugh she's a good luck charm across all sports

User6 but this time the man backed her up with his own skill…

User7 damn Y/n fans switch up quick

joeyb_9

liked by yn_ln, teehiggins, bengals, and 918,289 others

joeyb_9: WE'RE CHAMPS BABY

tagged: bengals, yn_ln

yn_ln so proud!!

joeyb_9 ♥️

lahjay10_ HELL YEAH BROTHER

joeyb_9 💪💪

teehiggins that’s how we do!!

joeyb_9 that's how we do 👏👏

User1 OMG HIM AND Y/N???

User2 their celebrations were adorable!!

user3 I’m glad after all the speculation they’ve made it official \

user4 He is not afraid of showing her off🥹

user5 it makes me so happy for her

yn_ln

liked by joeyb_9, user93, user3, and 928,928 others

yn_ln: I'm with the winning team

tagged: joeyb_9

joeyb_9 so much better than a good luck charm ♥️

yn_ln ♥️♥️

user1 Lewis punching the air rn

user2 fr, she really called him a loser with the caption

user3 lmao I love shady Y/n

user4 HER AND JOE?? THATS THE CUTEST PIC EVER

user5 IKR

user6 THEY'VE BEEN PUBLIC FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS AND THEY ALREADY MAKE ME FEEL SO LONELY

user7 is she with the winning team or are they the winning team??

user8 y/n and Joe >>>

Yn_ln

liked by user79, user91, user91, and 918,901 others

Yn_ln: surprise!! "The Tortured Poets Department: Eros" out now!! This edition includes two new songs, "So High School" and "The Alchemy"

tagged: no one

comments have been disabled

Twitter post songs release:

Twitter first Paris show:

yn_ln

liked by joeyb_9, user82, landonorris, and 829,927 others

yn_ln: Fuck me up *Paris*!!!

tagged: no one

user1 AHHH TTPD SET WAS INCREDIBLE

user2 ugh buying more tickets now bc I HAVE to see the new set

User3 all the symbols I CANT

User4 she looked so stunning

User5 I cannot y’all Joe was there!!!!

user6 I lost my mind at all their moments!! Hes so shameless unlike Lewis

User7 Paris was so lucky!!

user8 it was adorable to see Joe smiling and SINGING all throughout the show, including his songs/TTPD set

user9 ahhh the singing got me!!! her exes would never

user10 all the friendship bracelets her received and wore-- he was so cute

user11 I love that he has arms full and refused to relive himself of any!!

joeyb_9

liked by yn_ln, user9, yn_updates, and 918,928 others

joeyb_9: Baby, you're the one to beat ♥️

tagged: yn_ln

comments have been limited

@toldyouitwasamelodrama

@swifth0lic

@erbri3r

[f0rs4k3nbyth3sp4wn]

making a post about how the fandom characterises elliot bcs ts pmo icl 🥀🥀🥀

(small cw for mentioned attempted murder towards a child [fictional ofc]. but this is the forsaken fandom so i dont think most people will care. oh also this is a REALLY long post so. beware)

sooo im pretty new to the fandom but after having browsed almost every sfw 7n7 fic on ao3, its safe to say elliot's characterisation (or, well, mischaracterisation), is becoming a HUGE problem. a lot of people make him pissy around n7 and c00lkidd, which, to be fair, he has a right to be pissy! but the way they execute this is where things go wrong.

this is a more extreme example, but here's the gist of an au my friend found on tiktok (not linking for the creator's sake, which, speaking of, if you've seen this au and know the creator, please don't harass them. i mean i shouldn't have to say that but im still putting it out there):

honestly i agree with the last sentence he said, even i know this is bs even though i've only been a forsaken fan for like a week or smth 😭😭🥀🥀 to show you why, let me break down what we do know of how elliot's personality, how he feels about n7 and c00lkidd, and how he expresses it:

he is generally portrayed as a sweet and kind person, who always wants to help wherever he can.

he 'hates' n7 due to what c00lkidd did to the pizzeria (according to the fanmade wiki), though nothing has (canonically) ever been said about his feelings towards c00lkidd himself (to my knowledge)

he is not openly hostile towards n7, and has never canonically said anything 'mean' to his face, only acted passive aggressive (e.g. "...just get going").

i do disagree with his feelings towards n7 being 'hate' rather than just 'strongly dislike' (trust me, theyre VERY different things), but i digress. even if we were to say elliot hated n7, some people portray him as not even hating, but loathing him (this is an even bigger problem in pizzaburger fics/aus imo). if you want to write a complicated/negative relationship between two characters who are not your own, it's vital to know the difference between dislike, hate and loathe (as seen below).

(via langeek.co)

the reason i say elliot strongly dislikes n7 as opposed to hate is because hatred is often accompanied with a sense of hostility (while dislike is more avoidant, which fits elliot more imo when we look at their canon interactions). if you hate someone, you will not want to help them, and to be fair, i've read a handful of fics where elliot straight up refuses to give n7 pizza, or is at least hesitant. i dont think that's how elliot would behave. yes he is mad at n7 for not controlling his son, and has a grudge against him, but at his core, elliot is a kind guy. even if he wasn't, he'd never leave someone to die, no matter how temporary.

but continuing on the whole 'elliot loathes n7' dynamic, it becomes even more jarring when you apply it as an 'enemies to lovers' pizzaburger dynamic. even more so if you don't do the work to make it well paced. here are some tips on how you can do that:

pay heed to the rest of this post and do NOT make elliot too aggressive towards 007n7 in your fic. otherwise, it may feel too forced, especially if you don't want to go through the slowburn route. feel free to let the guy be passive aggressive though, just don't make him feel uncontrollable hatred every time he sees 07 (i prefer to think he feels manageable disdain, though i think you can tell by now).

on the other side of the coin, do NOT make n7 too pathetic. im all for him being a soggy wet cat, but at the end of the day, that's a grown ass man that was once very similar to c00lkidd. at the very least, i don't think he'd be crying left and right, considering this is a former terrorist, lol.

this is more me telling you guys to be creative than giving tips on pacing (since im not very creative myself, so i dont have many tips myself rn) but if you want to write the exact moment elliot began to like and respect n7, i don't really like the idea of n7 achieving that by bodyblocking for elliot?? like. it's not typically executed right bcs again. it often does what i advised against in the above two points. if you wanna do smth like that in your fic/comic, try comprimising by making it a clone block instead, and letting n7 be a REALLY good distractor like those aggressive n7 main. (i left this incomplete on accident when i posted this lol)

just overall make sure elliot is respectful to n7 during the late pining and post establishing the relationship stages!! it's perfectly fine if you want him to say 'mean' stuff to him that he doesnt mean (think of how siblings, friends, and again, sometimes partners, joke with each other. tough love or wtv), but don't make him have a hate boner for the guy lol. unless youre writing smut where there are actual hate boners involved, i aint getting involved in allat.

anyways, idk how to end this post off, so on a more positive note, go check out this pizzaburger yaoilicious peak rn !!! and feel free to add your own opinions, idm having a discussion as long as youre respectful, and am likely to add more to this post if you remind me of smth i might wanna say (im not the best at articulating myself lol) !!

oh and also i made an addition to this post too covering the other characters

[powdermelonkeg]

just saw ur gale/mystra analysis post. im new to the game and dnd lore and honestly… ur take on their relationship feels like the most natural/compelling one??? esp since its all too easy to simplify topics that have many facets and nuance….

thanks for sharing i love analysis and reading people’s takes on narratives : D

My pleasure! (Bee from the future here: congrats, you spawned another meta!)

I love complicated characters, WAY more than I like a clear cut-and-dry case. Flaws, to me, are what make a character compelling and lead to interesting stories about them with choices that can get them into situations. I'm both writing a fanfic and running a campaign where I'm playing as Gale, and in the interest of portraying him properly and in-character, I've gone into SUCH a deep dive into all the decisions and facts that make him him.

It helps to, y'know, also be in love with the fictional wizard, but I digress

The thing about Baldur's Gate 3 is that no character in there is perfect. I've seen a couple analyses about the theme of continuing cycles of abuse vs breaking out of them, but in my mind, in terms of the characters themselves, it goes like this:

The origin characters have just come out of the lowest situation of their lives (Lae'zel being the exception; being tadpoled is a gith's worst nightmare. You're seeing that lowest situation in real time).

Not the lowest point, mind. Gale's lowest was probably the day after he got the Orb. Wyll's was probably the day his father cast him out. Karlach's was the day she lost her heart. But the lowest, accepted normal for them is what they've just left.

They're then thrown out of their depth and forced to rely on you to live. That's #1 priority: living. We get the extremes of these characters before we get their nuances, because they're quite literally at their breaking points.

Then once we get to know them, we see their wants, their hopes, their fears, as they open up to us. Every companion's story is at their own pace, but they all have a moment where they ping-pong between despondency and desire. Sometimes that desire is what we know isn't good for them, like Shadowheart wanting to be a Dark Justiciar. Sometimes that despondency is only for a flicker, like Astarion's realization that he's condemned 7000 people to a half-life of tortured spawnhood for as long as he's been a vampire.

Romance lets us crack all that open more, because if you pursue a romantic partner, they see you as their closest confidant. They WANT to trust you, so they're more willing to explain how they see the world and what decisions they want to chase.

And then their endings. Those often get simplified as good/bad, continuing the cycle vs breaking away from it. But how is Duke Wyll on the same platform as Ascended Astarion? He's not evil, he's not even entirely unhappy. He might even have broken out of his abusive cycle with Mizora, if you played your cards right. And Ascended Astarion is overjoyed, even if he is remarkably more cold.

I think that the endings are less a dichotomy of "this is good for them" vs "this is bad for them," and more one of "bringing out their best traits" vs "bringing out their worst."

Wyll's worst trait is being willing to sacrifice his own wants for whatever people desire of him. His best is standing for what he believes in and ensuring people are safe. Duke Wyll leans into that necessity to turn the other cheek in the name of people who count on him, while the Blade of Avernus has seized that moral compass of his and forged it out of mithral.

Shadowheart's worst trait is blind obedience at the cost of her individuality, while her best is her desire to be kind to things that don't deserve to be hurt. Mother Superior Shadowheart's whole life is defined by Shar. Selûnite Shadowheart's life is defined by her hospitality, especially towards animals.

Karlach's worst trait is how willing she is to accept that things are (to quote her) fucked, letting despair override hope. Her best is her durability in the face of horror. Exploded Karlach would rather die than try to work out a solution in the Hells, because she's terrified of facing Zariel alone. Mindflayer Karlach has accepted her fate and decides to give up her heart and soul to go out a hero, losing who she is. Fury of Avernus Karlach is willing to keep fighting for a solution, and by the time the epilogue happens, she's got her sights set on one.

Astarion's worst trait is his desire for power over people. His best trait is using the tools he has to his advantage. Ascended Astarion has let his powerhungry nature and paranoia lead all of his decisions, with his sights set on dominating mankind. Spawn Astarion has embraced what he is, and carved out a life for himself where he can do as he pleases.

Lae'zel's worst trait is her blind fanaticism, while her best trait is her individual dedication, making her loyalty a marriage of the two. Ascended Lae'zel is a meal for the lich queen, turning a blind eye to all Vlaakith's tried to do to her and literally being consumed by her fervor. Champion of Orpheus Lae'zel has turned her loyalty into something productive for diplomacy. Faerûnian Lae'zel has seized her individuality by the throat and decided her own future.

And then Gale. Gale's worst traits are his hubris and, paradoxically, his low self worth. His best traits are his creativity and wonder for the world. God Gale is the embodiment of ambition, having burned away all but that in pursuit of perfection. Exploded Gale has let his remorse blot out all hope for a redemption in which he does not die, because he thinks he's earned it. Professor Gale leads his life by embracing the school of Illusion and letting his creativity thrive, teaching others to do the same. House Husband Gale has multiple creative projects he's working on, and Adventurer Gale is always finding new sights to see and wanting to share them with you.

There are arguments to be made on which ending the origins are happiest in, certainly, or which one benefits them the most, but each ending represents the extreme of a facet they possess.

So with all that, there's a sort of malleable method to figuring out the ins and outs of a character.

You take their endings—all of them, all variables they can have—and reverse-engineer the flaws and details they carry. Then you start to notice how those work into their approvals for minor things: Astarion approving of your taking of the Blood of Lathander, or Shadowheart approving of standing up for Arabella. Getting a list of approvals and disapprovals is helpful, but having those endings on hand tells you why they react like that to a majority of their decisions.

You take their romance-route explanations of how they act, and apply those to earlier decisions. Astarion's confession to manipulating you and Araj-prompted admittance to using himself as a tool brings to light how he reacts to your decisions, regardless of his actual opinions on them. Wyll's fairytale romance and love of poetic adages speaks to his idealistic nature, and why he takes a sometimes-blinded approach to decisions in which the "right" answer isn't always the smart one.

You take their beginning reactions to stress and use that to measure how future decisions impact them. Lae'zel locks down and gets snappy when she's scared, while Gale immediately turns to diplomacy. Shadowheart has gallows humor, while Wyll turns to quiet acceptance. If they break from these and seem even worse, you know the situation is more dire in their minds than having seven days to live.

And then you factor in all their fun facts and dialogue choices and backstories.

A wizard falls in love with a goddess and her magic, attempts to retrieve a piece of her power for her, is scorned for his attempt and is cursed to die.

Give that backstory to a Tav. Look at how it changes.

A chaotic good wizard fell in love with a goddess, thought retrieving a piece of power for her would be a showy bouquet of love, and was punished for not thinking things through.

A lawful evil wizard fell in love with a goddess's power, snatched the most precious thing she owned, tried to use it to barter his way through to the secrets she kept, and was given a swift retribution.

Same backstory. Same class, same act, same goddess. Wildly different connotations. Wildly different conclusions as to who is in the wrong.

If you take all there is to Gale, all that the game shows us makes up his character, and apply it to this backstory, you get what really happened:

A wizard, enamored with magic, fell in love with a goddess. His desires led him to want more than she was willing to give. In his well-buried fear of inadequacy, he concluded that the reason she wouldn't indulge his ambitions was because he just hadn't proven himself worthy enough. So he tried to prove himself, but he lacked the context for what he was proving himself with. And the goddess, seeing a weapon that had killed her predecessor, saw this ambitious wizard as losing his way and coming for her just like the weapon's creator had. She was angry, she withdrew his link to her, and he didn't know why. So he drew the conclusion that she took his powers to punish him, and let that encompass his fall from grace.

Was he wrong to reach for what was out there?

If you knew that the answers to everything you cared about were not only known, but kept by someone you loved—someone who adored you—what would you do to ask to see them? What if your curiosities were if there were other planets with life out there, or how dark matter worked, or whether or not we could one day travel in the stars? What if it was the potential cure to an illness that's little-understood, or the way to make a program you dreamt up, or the scope of the true limits of your artistic talents? Would your answer change?

Was she wrong to cut him off?

If you were once hurt, and the person you loved—the person who adored you—brought the thing that caused it to your door, believing you'd want it, how would you react to seeing it? What if that thing was someone you thought you'd broken contact with, like a friend or family member you'd been trying to avoid? Would your answer change?

That's the sort of scope that needs to be applied to this, on both sides. You have to take the perspectives of each party, and apply two analogies instead of one.

Gale saw the vastness of the universe, untold wonders, the solution to every question he could ever dream up, and saw Mystra as withholding this from him because she thought he just wasn't worthy enough. To claim Mystra knew his perspective does her a disservice.

Mystra saw a cruel weapon she thought long gone, in the hands of someone who could use it, brought right to her, and thought Gale was willingly following the path of Karsus. To claim Gale knew her perspective does him a disservice.

Should Gale have researched his prize more, so he knew just what he was obtaining? Should he have kept his hands off a cursed book that would devour him? Of course he should have.

Should he have given up on chasing his dreams?

Should Mystra have understood that Gale's pursuit of power was nothing like Karsus'? Should she have communicated when she was angry instead of giving the cold shoulder? Of course she should have.

Should she have given him the benefit of the doubt?

That's the root of their falling out. That's what leads to hurt being inflicted. Understandable, human reactions to the situations they perceive. Unhealthy, unwise choices made afterwards.

You work backwards from this to figure out their dynamic as Chosen and goddess. You work forward from this to understand more of where Gale and Mystra are during the events of Baldur's Gate 3. Gale reached too high, and understands this. His goddess hates him, and he regrets this. Mystra isolated Gale, and understands this. Her Chosen wants redemption, and she wants to make it happen.

Just like we took Gale's character into account, we also have to take Mystra's.

A goddess is faced with a problem. She uses someone who's desperate for approval to solve it, by telling him to kill himself.

An evil goddess is faced with a threat to her reign. She sees someone who's unfailingly loyal and hates himself, and elects to have him tear himself apart rather than do anything about it.

A good goddess is terrified of the future. She sees someone who tried to hurt her, who's going to die anyways, and tells him to use it to save the world.

Same story. Same act, same power, same pawn. Different character. Different perspective. Different outlook on whether or not this is the right thing to do.

Mystra has died, multiple times, to people trying to stake claim to her domain. Someone appears with the very thing that could do it again, right as she's regained her stability.

She does not see mortals the way mortals do. She is timeless. She is eternal. She has a duty to protect billions of people, and one person lost to protect that number is more than worth the sacrifice.

People like to bring up the Seven Sisters as proof of Mystra's cruelty. For those unaware, Mystra asked permission to, then possessed, a woman, used her to court a man (with dubious consent from the woman), and bore seven children, all of whom were capable of bearing Mystra's power as Chosen without dying. The woman she possessed was killed in the process (reduced to no more than a husk, then slain by her now-husband, hoping to end her suffering), and the husband was horrified by the whole story.

Mystra needed Chosen in order to restore herself in the event that she was killed again, to prevent magic as a whole from collapsing and wreaking havoc on the mortal realm, like it had in the few seconds Mystryl had been dead. Elminster, Khelben Blackstaff, and the Seven Sisters contributed to this. The more Chosen she has, the better; what happens if Elminster dies? She can't afford to have all her eggs in one basket.

Mystra has Volo (yeah, that Volo) as a Weave Anchor, imparted with a portion of her power to prevent the Weave from shredding itself to pieces in her absence. All Chosen of Mystra are Weave Anchors by nature. The creation of Weave Anchors was mandated by Ao, the Overgod, and Chosen are the best way to make sure those anchors aren't drained by ambitious people hoping for godlike power. Chosen can, and will, defend themselves, unlike static locations (which Mystra also has). The anchors are why the Weave wasn't completely obliterated during Mystra's last death, when the Spellplague rose up, because they stabilized the Weave around them.

Everything Mystra does is in the name of the big picture, to prevent a catastrophe like the fall of Netheril from happening again. Her restriction of magic, her numerous Chosen, her creation of Weave Anchors, her destruction of those who would claim her power, it's all in the name of the stability she's been charged with. Dornal Silverhand's grief and Elué Silverhand's death, while regrettable, were worth it to bring seven more anchors into existence to save all of the Material.

So someone appears with the Crown of Karsus, potentially powerful enough to try to kill the other gods in the name of the Dead Three. She can't risk being a target of them. She can't risk the destruction of magic again.

Gale is going to die. He lives in fear. He begs for forgiveness.

In Mystra's eyes, she's offering him the best outcome. She'll let him die in service to her, to save Faerûn, and she'll forgive him. He's going to die anyways, and if he does this, she'll give him everything (she thinks) he could ever want in her realm. She's asking him to do what (she thinks) is the right thing.

"She would consider what she considers to be forgiveness."

Notably, she leaves the decision in his hands. She doesn't have Elminster lead him to the Nether Brain. She doesn't activate him as soon as he's there. When he lives yet, she doesn't revoke the charm that keeps him stable. And when he declines, when he lets it go and starts pursuing Karsus' path, she doesn't smite him on the spot.

She is (she thinks) being incredibly patient. If Gale is going to try to be Karsus II, she's ready for him. If he decides to walk off and keep the Orb, he's dug his own grave in the Fugue Plane (those who don't have a god to claim them roam endlessly as husks and form a wall of bodies around the City of Judgement).

From her perspective, she's not being unreasonable. But from the perspective of a mortal, she absolutely is.

"Now, I have a question for thee: what is the worth of a single mortal's life?"

This is a question she cannot answer properly.

I think a lot of characterization is lost whenever someone paints one of them as being totally in the right. But I also think you have to be invested in them as characters to want to see that characterization. If you want to write about Mystra, you have to try to get into her head, analyze the decisions she made, figure out why she thinks she was right, and follow the pattern.

Gale's sacrifice is a very predictable thing for her to ask for.

[sykosixx]

july 9th 2005

(via pete wentz livejournal)

-typed out below the cut + my thoughts

i think the motto of my life could be "think negatively, when has thinking the worst ever lead to a disappointment?" late nights and even later kisses. i'm throwing writers blocks hoping to break down the wall between us just to get a word in, but inspiration has ran drier in my throat and bloodstream than the air we try to breathe in every day. in a room we decorated with "could haves" and "wanted to's", i'm with you and we're alone, but it feels like it's just me. maybe i'm just pretending you're here, it's how i get to sleep when i do get to sleep. sleep is a bad habit i'm dying to try. i don't like guessing once let alone second guessing myself. you're inches away and still out of reach. we're not even on the same page. i suddenly wish i could have been a brain surgeon just to figure out what was going on in your head. or a psychologist, just to get a glimpse.

when i can't see (through) you it drives me insane and i break at every light of your cigarette, i wanna know what you're thinking but bad news is old news. now i don't know what's thicker, the tension or my skull... but i've still memorized every possible sound you make while breathing out. i seriously can't breathe so i'll let you do it for me - a new meaning to 'you take my breath away', i don't know why it was given to me in the first place. our eyes meet and i remember and kick myself for forgetting at/it all. i'm making things up just to have more guests at my pityparty. pretending i'd be given a chance when boys like me lose them anyway. yet here i am. and there you are.

people try to figure me/you/us out, but we don't even have it down yet. they can spend hours writing up all my mistakes but the pen couldn't touch you. so you can calculate how this is all adding up and subtracting years off my life. i'm more worried about how it's dividing us apart. girls are harder to figure out than algebra - yet people still try to do it. the one thing i've found is i don't want to lose her. i'm tripping over words and falling in love. i told her i would have bought her the prettiest flowers but she'd make them look ugly in comparison. she laughed and probably figured i was just being cheap again, but i was being serious.

as far as anything else goes, i'll definitely update about it later, but this one is definitely for you. if you ever question my love i'll answer it, i love you.

xxoo

NOTE FROM AL: i think it's funny how often i see this entry overlooked. obviously it's not the iconic Fourth of July 2005 one (god even in your songs, could you be more obvious) (follow up, while looking back through PW old livejournal, i saw "i miss when people didnt know who i was posting abt in erly 2006),, ANYWAYS july 9th! 5 days after 04/07/2005, aka hes gotta still be talking about the same person ie; mikey fuckin way. "you're inches away and still out of reach." oh god the pining after this emotionally unavailable man. the "girl" stuff comes so late and looks too forced imo- anyways, you get the point, petekey 4 lyfe and better off as lover. NOT the other way around or whatever the summer of like insinuates.

idk dawgz, maybe ya boi needs 2 go 2 bed. feel free 2 refute me im too tired 4 this shit. oh yeah + i made a livejournal if any1 still uses that- it was just 2 sketch out emo losers cryptic + painfully obvioous messages but yahoo! mayb ill actually do smth w it.

[volvolts]

Wanted to run this by you since you keep your own writing very grounded in the text.

What do you think of AUs that take Philip's self-centeredness and reverse it? As in run it in the opposite direction, from Genocidal Bigot towards Guilt-Paralyzed Loner? Do you think there's a right and wrong way to do such AUs? Does it sound like a realistic departure from canon to you?

i dont remember if i ever saw one in a long time (i think defanged belos was only one that comes to mind that's similar rn). i actually haven't seen a lot of au philip stuff like this (i honestly struggle starting a lot of things i've been meaning to get into and also sometimes its hard to find lol). plus writing a guilt ridden character (especially as a main character) is hard since there's a fine line between reading about someone's guilt and just hearing someone wangsting and feeling sorry for themselves. it can get annoying real fast. i also can't properly imagine the right "turning point" for him.

honestly i'm willing to accept breaks from canon if it's fairly minor "quality of life" moments and his turn is believable within the confines of its story ya know? generally i dont think there's a right or wrong way to make this work and if i dont like it it's usually because it goes against my personal takes on the show and not because of "quality" if that makes sense?

though any belos turning good stories im very picky about who they villainize and how they do it. its hard to explain but i feel like if they try to make kikimora worse than belos then i'm not that into it. i think if its feels like the author singled out a character to make them the bad guy because they dont like them, or at least they just like belos more and need a scapegoat if that makes sense? i dont really find this one a lot in this fandom so we're pretty good there tho

as for one that follows canon? i remember a post i saw a while back (i think it was from @/levshany?? i dont remember) where they said a "canon compliant" belos realizing he was wrong and giving up is next to impossible because he would try to die due to the guilt and we would never have the plot.

for something like this to be "canon realistic", this would be my idea of it

(talk of suicide under the read more)

an evil to guilt pipeline belos would be one where he just tries to die. if we want him to live until luz's time then we would have an "immortal who wants to die" situation. he's far enough where it's hard to die easily but not far enough where he's the emperor or anything. and i firmly believe that he would still be the villain

we need to also keep in mind he's still being self centered. he may feel remorseful for his actions but he's so caught up in his punishment and "what he deserves" he doesn't realize that there has to be other avenues to take because this idea clearly isn't working. if we go the loner route, he's a cryptid the witches spread around because they have no clue what he is, he's a lone man who will do any favors you ask but in return you must try to kill him, if you fail he'll end your life instead. he's forgotten caleb and his own hatred for the witches. he only remembers his guilt and his need to die and his anger and self hatred that he can't. he doesn't even remember his why anymore.

if he has the collector, i can see a route where he tries to find a titan to free him. their exchange is this: philip frees the collector and in exchange, the collector either kills or imprisons him as a doll along with everyone else (meanwhile philip is just unconscious and in his own head and no longer feeling anything anymore also i dont remember if luz's dream as a doll was the exception or the rule or only happening when the collector brings you out to play with)

philip is trying so hard to die that he does not care who is going down with him. instead of being a genocidal bigoted maniac, he's more like someone that needs to be put down because he has no idea where to start "redeeming" himself. he would be frustrating and pitiful to watch as he self sabotages and descends further into darkness. he made himself irredeemable because he believed he didn't deserve it.

the problem then would just be this is a complete departure of what the owl house is. forgiveness and redemption isn't that big a theme in toh thats for certain. their themes is self acceptance and expression, among other things. weirdos stick together and all that. this could technically be paralleled to luz's guilt but personally im one of the people who found luz's guilt sudden and also completely unfounded (like she didn't know, plus her helping someone only to make things worse by trusting the wrong person was never treated like a major flaw of hers before. it was something she did but it was never presented as something she needed to fix ya now?)

(but im kinda just rambling at the end here though. obviously fanfic, or any media tbh, is not obligated to teach you a lesson or reflect themes. i dont go into someones au and expect a dissertation. i just hope the author is having fun and other people are too)

[featureenvyproductions]

happy new year time for me to bother you with a TRAILER for my short animated film about a mars mission 🎉

surprise I have cobbled together shots I have done from my [traditional] animation I'm working on along with a TEST recording (which is why it sounds like it's being recorded in a toilet that is also a cathedral) of some of the music clips. I tried to edit it like a Real TM Trailer but the pacing is a little weird bc it's a silent film sorry

OK LOTTA BACKGROUND INFO UNDER THE CUT

So if you haven't seen my other posts, I sort of have this thing for doing projects I know damn well shouldn't be done by Just Me however if there's 3 things I enjoy it's exacerbating my wrist problems, traditional animation, and social isolation so last year to get my mind of the trash fire of an election season I bought a bunch of cels and paint and started working on this short film. It's gonna be maybe 10-15 minutes when done and, aside from a handful of tweaks*, it is all traditional 2d animation - hand drawn AND painted (which is why the frame rate makes even the recycled clips in 80s he-man cringe) .

Anyway if you didn't gather from the intertitles, this [a FICTIONAL STORY WHERE EVERYONE IS FICTIONAL PLEASE NO ONE SUE ME] is about the US and Russia collaborating on a mission to Mars where they're gonna send some folks up there to hang out and do research indefinitely until another mission happens. While the crew - comprised of an astronaut Adam and a cosmonaut Yuri - is in transit, war breaks out between the US and Russia back on earth, snapping the ever tightening rubberband of willing cooperation between the countries. Everything goes to hell, and in this case it also threatens to compromise the mission, meaning an uncertain future for the crew, who have to choose between loyalty to the death cult of blind nationalism, or loyalty to science and each other.

I am aiming to finish this in 2025...The story has been in the works for a while, but I only recently felt like "huh I kinda wanna animate this"

Im sorry the music is so....Like That lol. I wanted to get this done today before I go back to work and like I don't think anyone who follows me really minds if it's not perfect rn. See I only have a keyboard at the moment and I was trying to do an aux cable from it to my laptop to keep from recording the UNMANAGEABLE CLOMPCLOMPCLOMPITYCLOMPPP of the keys but it just made the sound toilety uhg oh well. Anyway I am writing some original stuff for the eventual whole film, but for this trailer I arranged some snippets of Tchaikovsky's sleeping beauty for piano (the score is in the public domain fyi...My arrangement is my own...). I've got some other bits of that in the works as well which will also show up in the full film.

Oh another thing is, most of the technical stuff should be fairly grounded in science (maybe aside from some Artistic License Engineering for story/ease of animation reasons, but....). So there's that. I don't think it makes much of a difference for the trailer but IM TELLING YOU BECAUSE I DID SIT THERE AND PAINSTAKINGLY RUN A FUCKING ORBIT PROPAGATION ALGORITHM TO BALLPARK WHERE THE SHIP SHOULD BE AT CERTAIN POINTS IN THE NARRATIVE AND YOU WILL KNOW I SUFFERED. FOR YOU, THE AUDIENCE.

*full disclosure by tweaks I mean stuff it's barely noticeable to you but impractical for me bc cels are REALLY expensive, so stuff like blinking and mouth movements I drew in photoshop because that's probably 100s of mouth-or-eye cels I can't really afford to waste, and you can only scratch paint off and reuse a cel so many times before it looks like crap. Some of the panning I also did by scanning the hand drawn cels and then changing the subject position in photoshop for each frame because I'm compositing frames essentially by sticking them face down in a stack on my scanner bed and haven't found a good way to do it yet. I've attempted to built a little track before but can't get it flat enough for the cover to make contact with the frames and smash them into the glass. If you have a solution for this, let me know.

anyway the target audience of this is people who liked Apollo 13 but wished it was worse quality and was more gay and anarchist so if you are vaguely that please enjoy and follow for updates on this costly and questionable venture

[riddlesnap]

NAME: Scoot! Not my real name obviously but if we're close, I'll give you the real thing. So far I don't think there's anybody else in the community who shares it so no mixing us up with anybody else, hopefully! PRONOUNS: She/her, they/them. Honestly it doesn't really matter, "Hey you!" will suffice! MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S): Edward, naturally! He's been around for a couple of months but has easily been the biggest inspiration for getting me back into writing again. I have a few other DC muses (Roman Sionis, Copperhead, Man-Bat and Flashpoint!Martha but having so little free time and ability to focus means their asses have been neglected, uh, real bad for the last year or so. ADHD/Hyperfixation is the devil's work. RP PET PEEVES: Uh, RP wise? Honestly most people are great. You all give me a lot to work with writing wise and have been super patient with my slow ass which I appreciate immensely. Something I really don't like though (and it's aimed at nobody in particular, just that it's been a reoccuring pattern for a while now) is that I cannot abide being treated like a therapist. I get it at home, I get it at work and I just want ONE place where I'm not expected to drop everything and listen to whatever's upsetting somebody now. Venting every once in a while is okay. We all need to vent every now and then but constantly coming at me with your personal woes is going to piss me off, fast. I'm too burnt out physically, mentally and emotionally to handle it these days. All I want to do with the little amount of free time I have lately is to write. That's all. EXPERIENCE/HOW MANY YEARS: On and off? Maybe about 3-4 years now give or take a couple of years. I've gone away and come back to tumblr so many times and the DC community is really the longest I've stuck around. I have a few very old blogs from first starting on tumblr but my ADHD ass has forgotten all but one or two. The last 10 years have been, uh, a wild ride so to say. FLUFF, ANGST, or SMUT: All of the above, please! Thanks to Eddie (and a few fantastic people in the community!), it's the first time I've actually felt comfortable writing smut. Nothing too graphic; I actually used to hate anything to do with it but some of you have given me the confidence to trust in people again and give it a try. Fluff and angst is more my thing, especially with more villainous muses as working with complete bastards to get to that level? So much fun. But yes, chemistry and all that is HELLA important. Can't write smut straight off the bat, some trust needs to be established first! LONG/SHORT REPLIES: Mid-to-long replies? It's easy to just ramble on and make responses a lot more convoluted and overly detailed which is a habit I'm trying to break. Need to make it easier for other mutuals to wing things and define settings also plus with less free time these days, shorter responses might be a lot less demanding. BEST WAY TO INTERACT: Uh, it's real hard these days with not so much free time and frankly I'm fucking awful at remembering IM conversations. Best way to interact? Throw something at me, leave a comment on a post, give me a few to wrap my head around something and I'll probably bite sooner or later. Or we can wing it, that works too. BEST TIME TO WRITE: Between work and home life? There really isn't a best time, lol. Right now it's only when Edward grabs the leash and yanks it, demanding some attention and to do whatever he wants in that moment, if spoons allow it.

Tagged by: @threadpull (Thank you very much, graves!!!! 🧡🧡🧡) Tagging: Whoever would like to do it!

[keelsforreals]

refrain: chapter 1, good

kageyama x f!reader

chapter 1 - refrain masterlist

♪ ༘⋆ good

a/n: i recommend listening to the song when it comes up!! it's not required for the story or anything but i think it adds to the reading experience :)

kageyama opened his laptop and leaned back on his headboard. the sun was setting and the air was thick, "perfect yn listening weather" in oikawa's words. he had no idea what that meant, but kenma silently agreed so he took his word for it.

the stream was apparently starting soon, so he opened the youtube tab he pinned the day prior. looking back at him through the screen was yn. yn... the name was somehow familiar to him, not just from kenma and oikawa talking about her, but he couldn't recall from where. shelving that thought for another time, he focused on the stream and listened.

"hiii! oh wow you guys are coming in quick". she pushed her hair back with both hands, and smiled as her eyes darted back and forth from the camera to where the chat was. yn spoke softly but clearly, kageyama wondered if her singing voice was similar.

"so..." kageyama blinked, pulled away from his thoughts, but determined to stay focused this time. "today's stream is going to be pretty chill. if you didn't know, i had a concert last night at onigiri miya. were any of you there?" her eyes move to the chat and she smiled. "yes tooru, i know you were there". unconsciously, kageyama looks to the chat and cringes as he skims oikawa's numerous messages. in all caps. with far too many emojis.

yn laughs and reads a few messages from other viewers before changing the subject. "okay, uh, i should probably stop talking now. it's singing time". she pulls an acoustic guitar from off screen and positions it in her lap as she starts talking. "now this first song, i'm sure you're all familiar with. especially one of you. and for that one person watching," something between annoyance and sadness shows on her expression for just a second, so fast that kageyama feels like he's the only one that noticed. "i've moved on. we both know that. so why can't you?"

kageyama wants to ask every question he could. he's always been nosey. but before he could act on any urge to type in chat, he feels embarrassed. 'this is a stranger. what am i doing?'

"anyways. this is mud"

...

a whole hour of songs and short talking breaks in between, but kageyama hasn't looked away once. her face is relaxed, her eyes either focused on the chat or on her hands while playing her guitar. he finds himself smiling at her looks at the camera and remarks, fulling feeling her music when she starts a new song.

the final song ends with a long strum of her guitar. she exhales and takes the guitar off of her lap as she starts to talk again. "alright guys, i think that's it for tonight". yn smiles and looks at the camera, kageyama feels like she's looking right at him.

"thank you for watching, i'm really glad i could-woah HEY!" her head whipped around to her bedroom door as it flew open. "YN!" kageyama squinted at the screen, realizing he knew the unfocused face and voice behind yn. nishinoya? why was he there? what was the big deal?

"woah, noya dude what's your problem? im live right now"

"turn off the stream! now like seriously!"

"good or bad?"

"good i promise just turn it o-" he reached over yn's shoulder and ended the stream. just like that. not knowing what just happened or what to think, he pulled out his phone.

p.s!

➳ first chapter is done lets go!

➳ i will probably make a playlist with some songs that go along with yn's streams and post it later

➳ sorry that this is like all writing i got really carried away (dw it will go back to mostly smau next chapter)

➳ nothing bad happened! the news is really good

➳ oikawa is a double texter (more like quadruple texter) and he feels no shame

➳ noya and yn check up on each other by saying "good or bad", it's easy for the both of them and it can lead to a conversation if needed or just stay the one word answer if they dont feel like talking about it

sypnosis: the infamous point to a crowd member at the end of all of yn’s concerts wasn’t something she ever thought that much of, after all, it was just a joke her friends and bandmates thought would be funny. however this simple move to an unaware and uninformed boy makes both of them question if it really was just a throw away joke this time, or something more. something neither of them expected to come out of this small, crowded gig.

taglist (open!): @lvtilzs @diorzs @nymphsdomain

[chaionthemoon]

An Endless Existence

Chapter 3

Notes:

Yup, its been a while since I last posted, sorry for that. Writing has been hard for me recently, however I think I may be returning (maybe). Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

The way I decided to write White diamond in this chapter, and going forward until the events of pink diamonds shattering, is that she is strict but not as strict as we view her in the show. I did this so that there is this contrast between the white diamond that Orange ends up getting “close” to and then the shift of White diamond after the shattering of Pink diamond. 

I think after the shattering of PD, she gets so much worse and realizes that she cant stray from her idea of “perfection” not even for gems she enjoys the company of, and really distances herself. So yes, right now in the fic, White diamond is gonna show more emotions/be less strict.

(Also dont mind the art I made for this chapter- idk what I was doing and drew it at 3am one morning...)

Word Count: 5.3

The ride from Homeworld to Lambda was uneventful. The ship was grand, though that was expected of any ship that had White Diamonds stamp of approval, especially a ship carrying two minor diamonds. Though the ship was grand, there was simply not enough space to avoid the gaze of Black Diamond, who would occasionally glance at Orange and then back at her work. 

Orange had not yet been assigned any work, and so she looked down at her hands or out the window for most of the ride before she decided to break the silence between the two of them, unable to bear it any longer: “Did you like it?” She asked and turned to Black.

Black looked up and then at her, with a confused look on her face. Orange wanted to laugh, because she had never seen any other look on her face aside from one of anger, disapproval or pure boredom. This was new, and she liked that she had been the one to cause it. “Like what, exactly?” Black asked.  “The ball.” Orange said, as if it should be obvious. “My diamond put a lot of work into it”

“I thought she said you were the one who arranged it.” Black countered and Orange bit on her inner lip. 

“While I did arrange it, she was the one who approved it. Whatever I do, is my diamond's work. No matter whether it's war plans, conquering planets, or simply planning balls, every one of my accomplishments is her accomplishments.” Orange said 

“Hm, it's good you don't mind that,” Black mumbled under her breath, and that really caught Orange’s attention. 

“Well why wouldn't I?” Orange asked. It was all she had ever known after all; to allow her diamond, Yellow diamond, the same diamond who had saved her, to be the one who receives the credit for her work. She had never minded it before, as it was the least she could do for Yellow. 

“Im sure you know, but most of the other Minor Diamonds are prideful.” there was a small chuckle from Black Diamond, and Orange tilted her head in curiosity. 

“I've really only conversed with Crimson and Canary.” Orange admitted. And then quickly added “And now I suppose you… So I don't know.” Which was true. As one of Yellow diamonds most trusted gems, she had always been the primary leader for any of the projects she worked on, and so had not found the time to reach out to any other minor diamonds, or really converse with any. The only reason she was so acquainted with Crimson was because Orange had been instructed to keep a close eye on Pink diamond, and Crimson was the easiest way to do so. 

“Then you're in for a treat if you ever speak to Moon.” Black scoffed. 

Orange tilted her head. “Why? I've heard she is rather kind-” 

“From Crimson, I suppose?” Black raised an eyebrow and had a small but knowing smile. “Don't take everything Crimson says as truth. She is just biased because her and Moon have always worked closely with one another.” 

“Ill keep that in mind…” Orange said. Something chewed away at her in her mind until she finally decided to add: “So should the list of prideful Minor diamonds include you as well?” It was a bold question as Black was her superior, but she didn't shy away. If they were to work together for the next 5,000 years, Black would need to get used to her nature and they would need to get to know one another better. 

“You'll just have to see and let me know.” Was all black said, though she didn't need to say anymore. The air between them no longer was tense, but rather there was a proper acknowledgment between the two of them now.  

“Is that your thing? Being mysterious?” Orange further questioned. She couldn't really help it though, and after all, it was only Black diamond. She didn't have the authority or power to really do anything to her, and they both shared a mutual position as apprentices to Diamond authority members. 

“Do you always ask so many questions?” Black asked her, tilting her head. It was a genuine question, with no attitude in it. 

“Usually, no. However you must forgive me given my current circumstances. Being taken from one's court and placed to practically be on a trial period for a diamond who is keen on shattering you for any wrong movement you take can put a stress on one's gem.” Orange shrugged. It should be considered normal for her to have questions, and Black was the only one she would be able to ask them to anyways. 

“Ah, so you are a jokester, then?” Black asked, and Orange smirked. Their conversation flowed more naturally than it had with anyone else, and she thought to herself that it was a pity she and Black were not closer acquaintances before these events.  

“You'll just have to see and let me know” Orange repeated her words back to her, and Black nodded, seemingly defeated. 

“I suppose I will…” Blacks  words trailed off as she continued to watch Orange.  

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

When they arrived on the planet, Orange had not even had a few minutes to examine her surroundings before she was loaded into a smaller ship to take them to the main palace. The smaller ship had windows that Orange looked out of as they zoomed past the large buildings, and gems who were working or heading places. The planet was smaller than the colony that had been owned by Yellow diamond where Orange Diamond had spent most of her time, however the buildings were taller, with the tops of them fading into the atmosphere; never ending. 

Also unsurprisingly, after deboarding the ship and loading into the smaller one, Black Diamond had not said a word to her, nor given a smile. Already Orange was gathering so much information on the minor diamond, such as she must not like to smile or laugh in the company of common gems or gems she does not know well enough. Without a smile upon her face, Black diamond radiated an aura that intimidated the working gems around her, causing common quartz guards to tense up or rubies following their masters to shiver at her gaze. 

After a quick ride, they had arrived at the palace where they would be staying for the time being. “This is where you will spend the first 1,000 years of your training.” Black held out a hand for her and she took it as she stood from the seat. Black typed a few things on her tablet, and then proceeded ahead with Orange following after her. “There is much to do, starting with your uniform.” 

“My uniform?” She asked, confused as she looked down at her clothing. “Whats wrong with my current clothing?” It was the same outfit she had been wearing since she formed, and had always served her well in Yellow Diamonds court. 

“Well in short; its outdated.” Black didn't mince her words as she still tapped away on her screen. Black swiped her fingers on her own screen and then turned it towards Orange. “I've just been sent details on what your new uniform will be while you remain in White Diamonds court. You are to discard your phase out of your old uniform and wear this until your fate is decided by White diamond. Failure to comply will result in punishment. Am I understood?” Orange nodded her head as she took in the uniform on the screen.  

“You want me to wear that…?” By all means, it wasn't a terrible outfit, and it fit the fashion of White diamonds court perfectly. Within pinks court, many gems possesed frills or puffy sleeves like the diamond herself, In blues it was a similar fashion, dark and long dresses. Within Yellow diamonds, the fashion was more geometrically shapes, harsher points and armour, and so it seemed like robes and excess fabric were the trend within White’s court. The only thing that bothered her was how… pale it was. The color of her outfit was a light cream color rather than her bold Orange and black that she was so used to. She pursed her lips from saying anything against it though, as what she wore would be the least her worries here.  

“Orange- you may have gotten by in Yellow Diamonds court, but White’s court is competitive. You can not just be good, you need to be great, otherwise she will discard you.” Black warned, guiding her to a changing station so that the machine would manually change her outfit, so that she wouldn't have to destroy her current form. 

“Thats an understatement if I ever heard one.” A voice spoke out in a singing tone, and Orange whipped her head around. To Black Diamonds right, stood a gem; a minor diamond. She was beautiful, more beautiful than Orange could ever imagine. She had never seen Cullinan, who mostly kept to herself and didnt talk to anyone else outside of White’s court. Her head covering looked to be made out of the same material as White diamonds cloak, that shone with every movement of her head, and stopped at her shoulders. Her voice was cold, devoid of emotion, similar to Whites own, masking with a sweet tone despite being anything but. It was then that Orange came to the conclusion that despite being White diamonds apprentice, Black diamond must have been the odd one out of the three of them. 

“Hm, this is the diamond?” Cullinans gaze was cold, similar to that of whites as well. Compared to White and Cullinan, Black diamonds gaze seemed softer and warm. She was a stark contrast against the coldness that surrounded the both of them.“I doubt she’ll make it past 500 years without being shattered or shipped off to some outskirts planet.” She laughed, her eyes scanning Orange diamonds form. 

Orange shifted in her spot, as the machine whirled to life after Black tapped a few buttons on her screen. In a literal flash of light, Orange felt a burning sensation on her gem as it was struck with light, and then that was it. The machine returned to its sleep setting and when Orange looked back down at her outfit, she was wearing the uniform that had been picked for her. “Try to have a little faith Cullinan.” Black shot back. “I thought the same thing of you when you first arrived.” Cullinan narrowed her eyes and gave a small hissing sound towards Black. Thats right, Black was Cullinan’s superior.  

“But she’s not like us.” Cullinan bit back, growling her words out. “Hell, she’s not like the other minor diamonds either.” She rolled her eyes. “No matter, she’ll be dealt with how White Diamond see’s fit.”

“If thats all you have to say Cullinan, then I suggest you slink back to whatever corner you came from and let me continue my guidance. Me and Orange still need to cover the basics of white diamonds court etiquette-” 

“Court etiquette? I believe that i've already been trained in that-” Orange started, recalling some of her former lessons. Surely White Diamonds court couldn't be that different from Yellow Diamonds own, especially since Yellow Diamond looked to White so often for guidance, following her every command. Surely Yellow would have her own court to the standards of White Diamonds.  

“Well, with the way you stand I could hardly tell-” the words shot out of Cullinan’s mouth. 

“Cullinan!” Black spoke louder, speaking over her words. 

“Alright, Alright-” She raised her hands as she walked off towards an exit. “Just don't get too attached Black.” Was the last thing Cullinan called out as she left. Black Diamond sighed, releasing the tension in her form that only Cullinan could bring her.  “Just, ignore her. She rarely has any helpful words, though her talent with urban planning are invaluable.” And Orange wished she could simply ignore Cullinan, but her words rang in her head as they continued walking towards their next destination. She might be shattered in the next 500 years, and while that thought should terrify her… it almost didn't. 

She thinks almost because she had remembered a time where she had begged to be shattered. This fear and pain was nothing compared to her time on Jupiter, and so in truth, she couldn't bring herself to be scared. Instead, she was nervous of disappointing White Diamond, and in turn, disappointing Yellow. She wanted them to be proud of her, to prove that maybe she wasn't defective after all. 

She just wanted to be wanted . 

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

The repetitive work of filing, though it should belong to a gem of lower caliber than her, was comforting. It allowed Orange to stay within her own mind and she mindlessly worked, and think back to her time in Yellow’s court. She missed it, even if she had been gone less than one moon cycle. And unlike when she worked with Yellow and when she would start to space out, there was no one there to snap her back to reality, and so the loneliness crept in easily. 

It was only when Black Diamond came to retrieve her that she finally felt the calming presence of another gem. Maybe this was White Diamonds plan from the beginning: Isolate her until she loses touch with reality to then snap her up and expose her weaknesses. It certainly was working as she barely moved her head up from the work that was laid out in front of her. “White diamond requests your presence” Black’s voice was monotone, void of the joking nature they had created when she had first brought Orange to Lambda.

“Ah, so soon?” Orange thought that she might get another 100 years before White finally had the time to check on her, though it seemed the gem monarch was more interested in her than she previously thought. “Well, it cant be helped.” She set down her work and brushed ov er her hair with her hands to make herself somewhat presentable. “Please, lead the way-” 

Black nodded, and Orange followed after her as she trailed ahead. This was the normal for them- Black leading and Orange following blindly. Her mind was still clouded as she walked behind Black, and when Black stopped in front of their destination, Orange accidentally bumped into her back, not stopping her steps in time. Her head hit the space between Black’s shoulders and she stumbled backwards for a second before catching herself and refusing to look at Black. She had just made herself look stupid…  

“I should go in…” Orange said, going around Black as she reached for the door. 

“Wait-” Black grasped at her forearm, stopping her in her tracks, before she bit the inside of her lip and adjusted Orange Diamonds skirt and clothing to lay them perfectly down. “There… she hates wrinkles.” Black noted, taking a step back after noticing how close she was to Orange and clearing her throat. “Lets try not to get you shattered after your first meeting with her….” It was a joke, even if it was awful, but Orange gave a small smile in appreciation. 

“You wont be able to get rid of me that quickly.” Was all she said before she turned towards the door and opened it with a simple touch of the pad near the door. The door wooshed open, and Orange stepped inside the tall room. 

From inside the room, Orange Diamond took mental notes of its layout. There was a large window on the far wall that took up the whole wall, forming a diamond shape that resembled the diamond insignia. Grand pillars were littered on the outskirts of the room, carved with beautiful depictions of different gems; pearls dancing, strong quartzes standing guard, lapis lazuli’s in mid flight, and many more. Orange had never seen anything like it, as Yellow Diamond’s court mostly consisted of very geometric abstract pieces of art, or rarely any at all. 

She walked into the room, still looking around but more distracted by the window now as she approached it. Even though she had gotten a glimpse of the planet and its layout when she had arrived, she had mainly stayed inside the palace for this planet and had seen very little of anything else. It looked somewhat like homeworld but much more… colorless. She supposed that was how White liked it- a planet that was lifeless. She shivered at that thought. 

Orange did not feel like she belonged here, it was simple as that. She had found comfort in the warm toned, long hallways of Yellow Diamonds court. She never had to worry about standing out, as her gem and its colors shone best there, however in White diamonds palace, there was no certain color. Orange felt almost washed out from just standing in the center, and despite standing out against the pale colored walls and architecture, she couldn't help but feel more… alone. She stood out, an enemy in the middle of an empty field. Anyone could come by and snipe her at any given moment, and it wouldn't take much as she was only a minor dia-

“Orange Diamond.” The voice sent a chill down her spine. She knew she should turn around, and address who spoke out, but she found herself momentarily frozen in place. She didn't want to turn around, didn't want to meet her gaze. She missed Black diamonds small comfort. 

She slowly turned her head, and from the corner of her eye, she could see the bright aura that could only be given off by one gem: White Diamond.

“My diamond.” Orange eventually forced her body to turn with her head and she formed a diamond with her arms. She didn't say anything else, as she had been told by Black to allow White to say what she wanted before attempting to speak. Actually, it was preferred for her not to speak at all if possible, unless asked to. 

“Lovely you could make it.” Like she had a choice . “I have called you here to discuss your future with you. Im sure you are wondering why you have been summoned to my court? Why I could not just leave you in yellow’s court and observe you from afar? The truth: I believe you defective.” Orange nodded her head a little and continued to keep her gaze downwards. “Tell me Orange, why are none of the other minor diamonds “secondary colors”?” White asked. She thought about it. Out of all of the minor diamonds, she was the only one who was considered a “secondary color”. Canary’s color palette was yellows, Moon and Teal were both blues and Crimson and Daria were shades of red and pink. There was no Green diamond or Purple diamond, there was only Orange.  

“Im unsure my diam-” Orange responded back, however before she had the opportunity to complete her sentence, White interrupted her. That had been a question she wasn't supposed to answer literally. 

“Because its never been able to be done before.” She states. Its quick and harsh, which is contradicted by the smile on her face, and confuses Orange. “You mean to tell me that a mistake such as yourself has managed to defy odds and grow from a planet as unstable as Jupiter with no flaws? Impossible.” Her nails drummed across the surface of the nearest desk, her desk. It was a beautifully crafted one, the newest technology. “You’ve surely gotten my attention, no doubt about that, however its not the type of attention you want. You are here to either prove yourself, or perish.  My plan for you is to push you to your limits to see just how much pressure I have to apply before you break. If you surpass the odds, then perhaps you are meant to be a part of Yellow Diamonds court.”  

White Diamond looked at her, and Orange knew she should say something to her, anything. She needed to assure her of her own strength. “I can handle it, I know I can.” There was that feeling again, the uneasiness that White Diamond radiating power caused her own form to feel. It made her nauseous, and lightheaded being so close for too long. She needed to get away, to breath, but to do so would be admitting weakness, defeat. So she stayed. 

White Diamond made her way behind the desk, sitting in the grand seat, and crossing her legs over each other. “Sit.” She commanded and Orange complied, sitting in the open spot across from White Diamond. “Until I can either break you or figure out why you are different, you are to meet me here every moon cycle to have discussions until I come to a conclusion.” 

Orange diamond bit the inside of her lip and tilted her head. “Discussions?” 

“Yes.” And she nearly wanted to laugh. She was to have discussions with the gem matriarch of homeworld? The ruler of all that existed in this and every other universe? Discussions typically included two gems having a conversation, so was Orange to really sit down with her every moon cycle to actually go back and forth with her about whatever topic’s she brings up? This felt like a setup, as not even Yellow or Blue Diamond could speak freely or as often to her, much less every moon cycle. White must see the chaos that was happening in Orange diamonds mind, or maybe she could read minds- that would not shock Orange in the slightest. “You may speak as you like, though do be aware that everything you say will be evaluated.” 

“I understand my diamond. Thank you for this opportunity.” Orange bowed her head once more. “I just want clarification: I am allowed to speak freely?” The word ‘freely’ didn't sit right in her mouth. Not once has she ever experienced true freedom, and she doubted that this would be any different. 

“In short: yes.” Was her answer, and she nodded. She still refused to make eye contact with White on purpose, keeping her eyes downward. This sounded too good to be true, why would she get a chance like this? It made no sense, though when it came to White Diamond, very little she did had made sense to Orange Diamond. And maybe that just proved even further that Orange might be defective in some way. After all, if she couldn't see what was happening or what White Diamond saw in her, White Diamond who was the most flawless gem in the universe, then that just meant she must be fatally flawed. 

“What are your opinions on Yellow Diamonds court?” White asked as she pulled out the screen from her desk. The questions came quicker than Orange had expected, as she tried to ignore the text that was written on the screen and what White Diamond could possibly be looking at. It wasn't Orange’s business. 

“I am grateful for my diamond, Yellow diamond. She is a most dedicated and strong leader, who does everything she can to better Gem Kind and spread the diamond authorities rule to unruly planets. I have gotten luckier than most to be allowed to assist her in such a noble quest, and see no greater task than that of being able to dedicate my own gem to her court.” Orange spoke off, sounding like she was reciting something. 

“Mm.” Was the response that Orange Diamond’s answer gotten and she squinted her eyes, looking down at the hands in her lap again. What was the matter? She answered that perfectly. “And what of her actual court? Not just Yellow. What are your opinions on gems like Canary?” 

Canary ? Orange Diamond thought for a moment. What did she think of Canary? She was young, that was for sure, and maybe not the most reliable, and she had a bit of a temper, but her temper was what helped fuel her work. Orange remembered when Yellow had first brought Canary to her court, and for a short while, Orange was worried that she would be replaced. However her fears were eased when she saw how Canary conducted herself, and then she discerned that Canary would not be able to replace her as-  “She is young.” Orange Diamond stated, and then decided she should elaborate as that may not have been enough. “She has much to learn, but just like the rest of the minor diamonds, she is capable of great things. If she were not, Yellow Diamond would not allow her to remain in her court.” 

“And is that the same thing you tell yourself? That Yellow diamond allows you to stay because if you were not good enough she would have discarded you long ago?” Orange diamond gave a small nod and earned another hum from White. “And you never questioned her conclusion?”

“It is not my place to question my diamonds decisions and conclusions, I can only support her in whatever she decides.” Orange diamond’s tone tried to remain monotone, something that she things White diamond may prefer from her. If she kept all emotions from her voice, maybe she could keep some of her own thoughts to herself, and White wont be able to pick apart her every opinion and thought. 

“But have you thought yourself Defective at times?” There was a hint of curiosity in White’s voice. It stemmed from the fact that no matter what she asked Orange, she couldn't seem to grasp her answers or what was going through her mind as she answered. 

Orange would answer her honestly, as she looked up at white and replied: “Yes.” 

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Just as White diamond had told her in their first meeting, every moon cycle, Orange was called away from her duties and asked to have a ‘discussion’ with White. It mainly consisted of White Diamond asking her anything she was curious about and Orange answering her. Through the many they had had so far, Orange had grown more and more comfortable in answering, after she was sure that White wouldn't shatter her in that moment. Orange had also stopped missing Yellow Diamonds court surprisingly, as she took up an unlikely friendship with Black. Both of them seemed to stand out on this planet, and so it was only natural that the two of them gravitated towards one another. 

“Orange.” White’s voice cut their shared silence, and Orange stopped in her work. “What do you think of Pink diamond?” The question startled Orange. Up until that point, White had only asked questions about things in her knowledge. Mainly about Yellow Diamond's own court, how she ran it, what kind of diamond she was, her rule, things like that. However, Pink was a topic that Orange knew little about. 

“Well, I think much like Canary, Pink still has much to learn, however its not my place to really say as I have only met her but once. I’ve heard from Crimson though that she has full faith in Pink Diamond.” She looked to White, raising her head for a second. That was all she would grant herself of taking in White Diamond image. The older diamond still terrified her, however, she was starting to grow a tolerance for that fear, pushing it to the back of her mind, otherwise how would she get any work done if she didn't?

“What is your… intentions on gauging my attitudes towards the other diamonds?” Orange picked her words carefully as she looked away from her screen and towards White. The action caught White’s attention as up until this point, Orange Diamond had been nothing but some meek diamond in her eyes. She had avoided eye contact, avoided White’s aura and complied to all of her questions, answering White Diamond with hypothetically perfect answers and yet…. “It seems no matter how I have answered you, you have not found it good enough.” 

“You say it like its rehearsed. Thats the issue.” Orange was taken aback by White’s answer. 

“It may be, but it doesn't mean I don't believe in it any less-” 

She was cut off as White diamond finally admitted “You irk me.” Orange pursed her lips together at hearing that, feeling her form wanting to cave in on itself. “I cant figure you out. I can have any gem in the palm of my hand, reading out their whole existence in a simple sentence. I see everything, know everything and yet… Even when given the chance to speak freely, which many would say is a great privilege, you don't… and I cant understand it.”

“I do-” Orange argued, however White raised a hand to stop her from speaking. 

“No, you have only given me facts and how other people think.” 

“Is that… not what im supposed to do?” 

“You need a certain level of free thinking as well, otherwise what makes you a diamond? What would separate you from any other common gem?” White smiled, though there wasn't any sincerity in it. “Minor diamonds walk a fine line between power and subservience. You are seen as a diamond, have the same powers as one, but yet- you fall short- not enough of a diamond to really matter.” She was right. White diamonds words, though they hurt, were absolutely correct and Orange knew that very well. 

“Its not like I can say whatever I want though, even with your permission.” She gritted out finally “Its not that simple. If I say the wrong thing, then I could be shattered, actually- I face being shattered anyways, so maybe you are right; I should have some free will of my own. But regardless, there is one thing I am sure of that I cant tell you; I want to be great.” Orange admitted “Take that as fact or opinion if you would like, but I know that I can achieve greatness and thats the only thing that is pushing me to continue to exist.” Her gaze held a fire in it, and for a second, White diamond could see a storm in them. It stirred something in the older diamond, and she leaned forward. 

Shit- she was out of line - Orange thought to herself as she leaned back and away from White diamond’s form, as it got closer to her. 

“You know Orange… I think you might just have secured yourself another 1000 years working for me.” The warm colored gem’s face was one that amused white, as her eyes widened and her jaw clenched. It looked like she had a few choice words for White but refrained herself from saying anything to dissuade or anger the monarch. “You are dismissed.” 

Orange stilled in her actions, her head still churning as she closed out her tablet and stood from her usual spot across from White. Even when the door had closed behind her, white still looked to it, as she could imagine Orange’s form walking off and away from her. This had started as a trial period for Orange, to see if she would be a liability to her rule, but now this had become something so much better. 

Where White could break down and determine every other diamond’s beliefs, their weaknesses, their opinions, their very essence, Orange was a Paradox (to simply put). She was imperfect but perfect, bold yet timid, warm yet cold. White wanted to figure her out, wanted to toy with her mind to see if she could figure out just what made Orange tick, and so far she was one step closer. 

“I want to be great.” She found herself repeating Orange’s words, as they danced on her lips. She was a puzzle, and this would be a fun game for her to play. A distraction from her dull existence. 

Her endless existence.  

[shadowsndaisies]

Hey I luv your work so so much and I've been following cnng since day one

I speak for a lot of ppl when I say I am so excited for season two!!!

I just wanted to give some suggestions and ask questions

Considering Nightingale is 13-14 years old during the events of season one, and Roy is 18 years old, there's a sufficient 4-5 year age gap and I think that's a defining characteristic of their adorable dynamic.

I just think some spice for season two , considering the fricking 5 year time skip would be in episode eight where The real Roy meets clone Roy, Real Roy is biologically 15 years old, but he has been frozen for 8 years, is 23. While Roy is 23, he's still 15, essentially meaning he was a year older than Birdy in season one when he got abducted. And now that 8 years have passed, Birdy has passed Roy in age, he might be 23, and she's 18-19, but he's still 15 year old Roy 💔

I guess what would b extremely amazing to see is her meeting Roy again, and Roy is in shock because his baby sister is older than him now. hugging and crying ensues, the entire JL is there, as well as Young Justice, but she starts crying and Dinah asks what's up and she says " How am I older than Roy now?" And everyone's heart breaks. Roy is also again shocked BC why is Robin now buff and dating his sister.

To me it wasn't explored well in the show, Season 1 was peak, but I am suuuuuppppperrr hyped for you to write again!!! I love you so much and the dedication you show to your work!

Please never stop writing, and have a beautiful day, keep doing what you doing 🫶🫶🫶🫶

oh gods I lovedddd your lil analysis!!!!

trust; i def have plans for the clone roy, real roy, and ng of it all in season 2, part of which will deal with how younger sis/annoyance birdy is now older and dating batman's og sidekick.

there's a bit roy/will element that will form in season 2 and then flow into season 3, so im excited for all of that.

just one note tho! my timeline is a bit of writer's math because i skewed it to fit the story better BUT:

birdy's 6 when her parents were murdered

making her about 7/8 when dinah officially like adopts her

when she's 8 she makes her official NG debut

later that year is when ollie brings Roy home, he's 13.

so there's about 5 years between them, yes.

BUT in my story, versus cannon, birdy and roy begin their sbling dynamic for about a year before the switch happens

she's 10 ish when she gets sent to atlantis

she's there for like a year and some change

11 when she comes back, and now we have clone!roy, not that anyone noticed.

it's 3 years later that the team is formed and we have the events of season 1. birdy's 13/14 in season 1, so is dick. wally and artemis are 15/16, and roy and kaldur are about 17/18/19 ish

but yeah... i might post a lil timeline before i start posting season 2!!

[suddencolds]

sending u a star!! ⭐️ sorry i wanted to go thru and pick a specific fic but im too sleepy lol but any yvescent piece u had thoughts on :D

[from Fanfic Writers - Director's Cut]

hello!!! THANK YOU N, IT MADE ME REALLY HAPPY TO RECEIVE THIS 🥹🥹🥹

I also realize am responding to this like 2 months late :') I thought for a long time on which fic to comment on, and now that I've posted Atypical Occurrence pt. 2, I thought I might as well write out my thoughts on it while they're still fresh and bc it's close to my heart (I hope that's okay hehe)

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⚠️❗️ Warning that I will be attaching snippets from my deleted drafts below!! Please read the published installment before you proceed to read this post. This is a little embarrassing... all I can say is that those drafts were deleted for a reason 🥴

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There’s a grocery store that’s a ten minute drive from Vincent’s apartment. 

I rewrote this scene... 3 or 4 times? It gave me sooo much trouble 😭 I think in the first draft Vincent actually tears up tasting Yves's cooking. (I know, Vincent, I want Yves to cook for me too 😭❗️)

Terrible (ugh 😭) first draft screenshot under the cut (screenshot = old draft, indented quote = current draft):

(Yves pulling up a chair at the end... you can tell he is totally at a loss on what to do 😭 and I, too, was at a loss on what to do)

I wrote this ^, and I was like... this moment just feels unearned? I personally despise outlining + I love going in (mostly) blind. Sometimes the first draft works out of the box, and in this case, the first draft (and the second draft, and the third draft) were all soooo bad that I literally had to take a month-long break to regain my confidence 😭

Anyways! I knew right away that Y was going to cook something for V (it's mentioned here and there throughout the series that he is a really good cook 😭 And in part 3 of Fool Me Twice, Yves promises to make Vincent something more ambitious than hot chocolate. He's finally kept his promise now, 12 installments later 🙇‍♀️ )

From draft 2, there was only one scene which I was sure I was going to include in the final draft, aka, spared from the recycling bin. (But I just checked the final draft and it's nowhere to be seen?? Interesting.)

I would have managed fine on my own.

On this (deleted) scene, and more broadly: I think it's important to me that Yves recognizes that Vincent is self-sufficient in many ways: when Vincent says he will be fine alone, he is telling the truth. Yves doesn't have to stay—he recognizes this too, when he heads for the door in the published draft.

Still, Yves stays, of course—initially, because he insists, and later, because Vincent asks :)

“…You won’t leave unless I eat, then,” Vincent says. He says it evenly enough that it barely registers as a question. Yves smiles at him. It’s not a wrong conclusion. “Exactly,” he says.

It was really, really fun writing the differences between caretaker!Vincent (in Fool Me Twice pt. 5) and caretaker!Yves 😊 I usually don't like to say too much on the end of character analysis, bc I like my work to be interpreted as it is: the text is canon, and everything I'm saying here is just me yapping on about my headcanons. (I have been roasted for saying this by a dear friend of mine, probably rightfully so:)

With that disclaimer: Vincent to me (I can only speculate, etc) is a very no-bullshit caretaker (he likes to enforce whatever will lead most directly to the person's recovery; he actually worries a lot, but his worry often manifests as frustration/snappishness), whereas Yves is a lot more permissive and, for the most part, manages his stress—he is the eldest sibling, after all! I think he does what he can to make it a more tolerable experience :)

“So this is just a Yves thing.” “What? Showing consideration for my friends?”  “Showing consideration is one thing,” Vincent answers. “You could have left after dropping off the files. You would still have been showing your consideration.” “I guess that’s true. But at that point, I was already here,” Yves says, with a shrug. “It seemed logical to check up on you.” “Well, now you’ve checked up on me,” Vincent says. “So you can go.” Yves supposes this is true.

Vincent takes things very literally (and I think he's actually quite aware of the social niceties around these kinds of things, which is in part why he is so skeptical to assume that Yves means anything more.)

There’s a hand on his sleeve, tugging. Yves goes very still. When Vincent notices what he’s done, alarm flashes through his expression, and he pulls his hand away as if he’s burned.  “Sorry,” he murmurs, again. And just like that, he’s back to how he always is—his expression perfectly, carefully neutral, in a way that can only be constructed. “I’m sorry.” But Yves doesn’t forget what he’s seen. “You can go.”

This scene means a lot to me!! It took a loooot of editing to hammer into place (the doc I wrote it on is titled "fixing this scene would FIX ME" haha). I think this is the first time Vincent has actively sought out Yves's comfort 😭 And he regrets it almost as soon as he's said it, because he does not do things without a good justification, and wanting something—even wanting it badly—does not feel like a sufficient justification to him. But give Yves an inch and he will take a mile!! He will take a hundred miles!! That is just the kind of person that Yves is.

I was talking with some friends previously about how I wanted to write Vincent reaching out for Yves. How I wanted Vincent to, through the haze of fever, cross a line that he'd previously not allowed himself to cross :') I think it is a time-old trope to have someone, in their feverish delirium, utter something embarrassing and utterly uncharacteristic of them, or divulge something that has been difficult for them to say.

This whole time drafting, I was thinking, how can I set up a moment like that and have it feel earned? How badly would he have to be feeling? What kind of setup would justify getting past his 590859 mental defenses? (I do not like to outline, but sometimes I do have an emotional beat that I have in mind, and then I have to work backwards to figure out the setup. This took SO much working back from, and I really thought about it for very long). I was almost sure that Vincent would regret it immediately after too 😭

Yves opens his arms out in offering, tries on a smile. “I’ve been told I give good hugs. Good enough to cure all ailments, obviously.”

Ahh, so Y offering V a hug is inspired by a fic I read 6 years ago, where a character offers another a hug as a joke and then the other character surprises them by taking it. Yves is really offering here, but I think he recognizes that joking about it will make it easier for Vincent to accept 😭

Yves has hugged a fair share of people in his life. He doesn’t think he’d be able to list them all if he were asked to. It’s different, though, being so close to Vincent—so close that Yves can reach out and let his hair fall through his fingertips. He can lift up his palm and feel the rigid line of his spine, the slope of his shoulders; he could reach out and trace the dip of his wrist, the form of his hand. Vincent’s chin digs slightly into his left shoulder. His nose is turned slightly into Yves’s neck—like this, he is almost perfectly still. Yves can feel the warm brush of air against his neck whenever Vincent exhales. He is so close that Yves is afraid, for a moment, that he might hear how badly his heart is racing.

I have nothing to say about this paragraph except that I edited it for like 40 minutes straight.

Last thing!!

“We had a habit of keeping the heat off, in the winters, and closing the windows.”

The scene near the end (where Vincent tells Yves about his childhood) is actually the scene which came the most easily to me. I also did not write it last; I jumped around. It took me around 1.5 hours. (By comparison, simply editing the scene before it took 11 😵‍💫)

I did always intend for Vincent to disclose... well, /something/ about himself. (You can tell that when I plan, that's really as far as I plan LOL)

Anyways, when Vincent wakes Yves up (after Yves falls asleep at his desk), I initially wrote it so that Yves wakes Vincent from a nightmare.

But (as direct a link to vulnerability as that might have been,) Vincent would not talk about his nightmare 😭 So I switched gears.

I also specifically wanted to write about Vincent's experience being cared for growing up. I think something that's culturally resonant with me (as an Asian American, and the eldest daughter to immigrant parents) is like, the ways families can and cannot say I love you—the quiet things that are done in place of a more direct expression of it. The way that while unspoken consideration can speak volumes, it can just as easily be invisible. But even now, writing this post, I feel like it's difficult for me to untangle the feelings and experiences I've had into something that feels sufficiently multifaceted.

Vincent has a different childhood from I do (it is probably worth noting that I do not project onto any of my characters, nor do I use them as a vessel to get my own experiences across). I think I'm just drawn to writing tricky/non-straightforward expressions of love, in general :) Sometimes that is the kind of love that resonates with me most.

[dread-pirate-mumbles]

more sea of stars thoughts (less shitposty this time, maybe??)

spoilers for true ending below

First: what the fuck was Romaya doing with Moraine's staff in that one end credits cut scene??? she better not have been trying to pull a Duke thing again but with Moraine (sometime in the future, after he's passed)

Additionally: i absolutely adored pissing Romaya off throughout the entire game. I really hope B'st got to go back and talk with her about whatever he was gonna say after the second fight.

Second: Valere and Zale have to come back for Garl's bday every year, but I'm guessing keeping track of time while on patrol across the various worlds is Difficult, so I like to think that they tracked down Resh'an and asked him to set up a yearly reminder for them. I like to think that Resh'an has a connection to all of the Solstice Warriors (which is how he finds them once they are born), so he can find Valere and Zale wherever they are, and obviously time is His Thing

Third: (and keep in mind im just a Baby in the lore rn, just limited to in-game stuff)- I think that Aephorul made the Catalyst to try and remove his and Resh'an's souls from their bodies. I think the immortality potion has tied their souls to their bodies thus preventing their souls from passing on, and I think Aephorul made the Catalyst to either 1) remove their souls from their bodies and finally die together; or 2) put their souls into new bodies that would not be subject to the curse of immortality in the way that their original ones were

I also think the World Eaters were initially designed with the same end goal of death for Aephorul and Resh'an combined- something that can destroy the very fabric of time would likely be strong enough to break their immortality. However, Dwellers were not strong enough to do so, and there was no guarantee that a world eater would be strong enough either (nor was there anyone Aephorul could use as a test subject), so Aephorul continued to try and make them more and more powerful, and perhaps even experimented on some people to try and mimic immortality to see what would happen

I've also wondered about the pronounciation of Aephorul, because if you read it as "Aye-For-Rule", it (if you squint with your ears) kind of sounds like "All For You", which. fits with this idea of Aephorul doing this initially *for* him and Resh'an.

Fourth: I really want to write a post-canon fic where Garl goes back with Serai and B'st to their world, to help build things back up and restore hope. The dinner at the Golden Pelican and the comment when you send Garl to the hot spring (where he's like. "I gotta tell Serai something important") have inspired a *little* bit of a Garl/Serai shipper in me. I'd also want to include what the Dumbass Immortal Gays are up to, too, because I really love their dynamic, and I'd love to Literally Fucking Kill Them For Good. I really, really want Resh'an to like. Talk with Garl, maybe Valere/Zale, about his failings and his mistakes. He's just a human, still, after all, and he has basically no one else to talk to about his Bad Life Choices

Anyway- Garl goes between homeworld and Serai's world on the Vespertine, but he always makes sure to be in mooncradle on time for his birthday. (side note- I wonder if he made jam from the sap of the willow on the thought that it would like. make zale and valere more powerful?? that seems like a him thing to do)

Fifth (aka assorted plot holes or complaints):

-Why did we never see the Dweller of Strife or the Acolytes again? I thought maybe the idea was that they became the World Eater at the end, but there's not like. a lot of game details pointing to that.

-How did Serai end up in our world anyway? Did she teleport based off of information about the home world (how would she get it? how far can she teleport? how can she teleport away the *top of a fucking mountain*??)? She couldn't have gotten information from Resh'an, since he didn't know about the Great Eagle thing, so maybe she stole info from The Fleshmancer/his subordinates? Maybe this is related to the Queen that Was- maybe the queen worked with the fleshmancer, and Serai took over her house and thus information when the Queen left??

-How did Serai get her powers? Was she an experiment from the Catalyst, or was it something she pursued on her own? Also, *please* tell me the rest of her crew who knew the fuck she actually was, she was so obvious

-I'm assuming the academy is no longer needed, with new guardian gods, no need for new solstice warriors for this realm, but that means Moraine is the only solstice warrior on both home world and serai's world. I feel bad for him cause he very obviously suffered from the loss of so many fellow warriors due to strife (and took it out on brugaves and erlina, unfortunately), so I wonder if he feels lonely about it sometimes

[gojoidyll]

I'll probably fixate on someone else 😭😭. But I've been liking jy since he came out. Before jy, I was OBSESSED with a manhwa male lead. His name's baek siyun:

I think I fixated on him for like 4 months ish, and then I dropped the manhwa since it was getting dragged so much. The names "Dreaming Freedom" btw. It's a lil dark but it's a yan x yan trope and the dynamic between female lead and male lead is sooo cute.

Mydei briefly grabbed my attention since he was fkn gorgeous but thinking about how all amphoreus characters are gonna die made me sadge so I just sorta ditched him XD. I do still play mydei in game tho.

Mark Grayson also grabbed my attention briefly but he lost to jy's eepiness. Sorry mark...he's also very cute and his VA did a really good job voicing him.

The writers really did fumble mark and amber especially with the S1 break up. Mark and amber had like 2 full seasons of relationship meanwhile mark and eve 2 episodes in are saying 'I love you'. Slow tf down.

Anyways, I really really like jing yuan cuz he fits exactly into my type. Not gonna marry until I see someone like jy (つ╥﹏╥)つ

All in all, I think jy will be my favorite for a while. Like A WHILE.

----

I think I remembered you saying thor's actor was hot. I wonder what's your type? It's gurl tea time.

I say Chris Hemsworth is very handsome too, but i only know him by Thor. Andrew Garfield in his prime was also very hot >_<.

I usually don't watch a lot of movies and just prefer to read novels and webtoon so I'm like a cave woman in the acting world.

----

My mom and dad try to be there for me but most of the time it's just me nagging and whining abt stuff to them.

Tho i sorta had a rocky start when I first came to Australia. I'm proud to say I now know how to fix a door knob, change lights, assemble IKEA furniture, andddd assemble my own bed post and frame!!!!

----

Glad your drinking lots of water. I'm trying to stay healthy now that I'm back!!! I'm also gonna get a new table cloth bcz I spilled din tai fung sauce on it and it now reminds me of dumplings.

Hope you stay healthy and have a good day!!! <3

XD Im kind of curious to see who you're next favorite character is! But I do like talking to someone about jy lol, and after careful consideration I think my current favorite character as of right now is blade. Granted, that isn't really be shown with how I write him-

Mydei is currently tied with blade as my favorite, but I think i still like blade more... hmm. That will probably change once phainon comes out though

Which reminds me, I really want saber but ... I think ill only have enough pulls for phainon. Should I still try to get saber anyway?

Mark and eve are just something else XD I try not to think of it too often and just try to get into the story though it's hard to ignore when they keep ruining characters and what not 😭 (poor amber)

XD I think i would want someone like dan heng.

-

I too am a cavewoman when it comes to the acting world, but I would say my all time favorite actor is bradley james or chris evans.

In other words, my type are blondes lol

Back when I was in high school I had a crush on a blonde guy too, so my attraction to blondes has carried over in my adulthood lmao

-

XD being on your own is nice, right? For me it's the best feeling and if something breaks i just call maintenence to come fix it hehe

-

Im def trying to stay healthy!! And same to you!

[siyooungi]

hello! i've been reading some of your work recently and your writing is amazing!! could i request something with boa (which im so thankful anyone even writes for her) based on her song "kiss my lips"? you can do anything you want with it, thank you!!

now playing - kiss my lips by boa

Pairing: BoA x Fem!Reader

Idol: Kwon Bo-ah (Soloist)

Warning(s): slight angst..?

A/N: awww, thank you so much! I’m honestly so glad someone requested for her, so I appreciate this.

You and Boa’s friendship ran way back, ever since you were a trainee under SM. Of course, she was already a well-established soloist by then, but she supported you throughout your entire journey. She would always come over when you needed her for support or listen attentively when you wanted her opinion on something, especially your songs.

"Unnie?" Boa looked up at the sound of your voice, drawing her attention away from her phone. "Can you listen to this and tell me how it sounds?" Your voice was becoming quieter as you were becoming increasingly self-conscious at the thought of her listening to your song. She nodded happily and sat closer to you, waiting for you to press play. As soon as you did, you looked down shyly, as you didn’t want to see her reaction as it played. You were completely unaware of the smile forming on her face.

Once the music stopped playing, you hesitantly looked up, only to be met with her bright smile. “That was amazing!” She complimented, turning her attention back to you. “You sound amazing, Y/N.” You couldn’t help but blush at her words, feeling an overwhelming amount of joy at her genuineness. “Thank you..” You mumbled, causing her to release a chuckle at your timidity.

You were an aspiring soloist, and before you even made your debut, she visited you as you practiced the choreography for your title track. As soon as you did make your debut, she was openly supportive, and the whole industry would notice how far her support reached.

You were going over the choreography with your choreographer while Boa was sitting and observing in the back, quietly. She pulled her phone out to record you when you came to a stop, running your hand through your hair as you breathed heavily. Smiling at her phone, she posted the video on her Instagram story. You turned to her as you noticed her through your peripheral vision. "You’re doing great, love!" She shouted and gave you a thumbs up, causing you to put your hands on your knees and laugh. You found her to be so cute.

While perfecting the choreography, you were also vlogging in between breaks. Boa could be seen in the background from time to time, but you weren’t aware of that as you were too busy talking to the camera. However, once you did notice, you focused the camera on her. “Unnie, say hi!” Boa looked up from her phone and waved with a smile, earning a giggle from you. Once you turned away to talk to the camera again, her gaze never left you. She couldn’t help but smile as she watched you, finding you adorable.

She found herself doing that often. She simply couldn’t look away at times. If anything, she spent most of her time admiring you. Even fans had caught onto the way she looked at you, whether it be during Instagram lives or if she was present in the videos on your channel. Your little mannerisms always warmed her heart.

There was one thing she began to yearn for though, and that was your attention. Ever since you’ve been focused on your career, which she is fully supportive of, she can’t help but wish you would spend more time with her. Sure, she understood you would be very busy, especially with your newfound fame, but it did upset her to a certain extent. Not your success, but your lack of attention towards her. She was so used to being with you, and now, with all of your promotions, you haven’t had any time for her. You would send her a text after every performance or when you finished an interview, and her face would always light up when she saw your name pop up.

As usual, she was expecting a text from you since you had just finished your final performance for promotions, which she had watched on TV. However, it never came. Boa noticed you posted on your story, and it was a picture of you and Taeyeon. You were kissing her on the cheek, and she was smiling. It was a cute photo, but Boa wished it was her. She hadn’t seen you in all this time, and the first person she sees you with is one of her friends.

Sighing, she locked her phone and placed it beside her, crossing her arms. She felt a strange feeling bubbling in her stomach, something that resembled jealousy. She shouldn’t be jealous, right? Why would she be? You’re only friends. Her face grimaced at the word. Friends. She even shocked herself with her reaction. Why is she suddenly against the term ‘friends’ when it comes to describing you both? That’s what you were.

Groaning, she picked up her phone again and clicked on your contact. She chewed on her bottom lip, debating whether to call you or not. If you were hanging out with Taeyeon, you’d surely be busy and wouldn’t even pick up your phone. You usually gave your full attention to whoever you were with at the time, something Boa loved but hated as of now. It was a great quality, but not when she was the one who wanted your undivided attention. Disregarding her thoughts, she tapped the call button.

Listening to the rings, she tapped her foot on the floor anxiously. Just when she thought it would go to voicemail, your voice was heard on the other end. “Unnie!” Boa smiled at your excitement. She could sense a smile on your face and her smile only widened. “Y/N-ah!” She mirrored your excitement, causing you to giggle through the phone.

“Is there something you need?” You questioned as you walked away from the chaos in the background, wanting to be in a quieter place so you could hear Boa clearly. “Well…” She trailed off, to which you waited patiently for her response.

“I was wondering if you’d be able to come over tonight. I haven’t seen you in so long!” Your smile grew at her response. Although you were tired, you were more than willing to go see her. How could you pass on the opportunity when you haven’t seen her in some time?

“Of course! I’ll be there in a few.”

Boa felt an overwhelming amount of happiness at your willingness to come over despite just finishing a performance. You both said your farewells and hung up. She placed her phone once again beside her, this time feeling joyful and anticipating your arrival. Wanting to be able to greet you immediately, she chose to stay in the living room and watch TV as a way to pass time.

In no time, there was a knock at the door that alerted her. She paused the show she was watching and quickly stood up, making her way to the door. She opened the door and was met with your smiling figure. Her gaze traveled down your body, realizing you were still wearing your stage outfit. It wasn’t that revealing, but it was revealing enough for her heartbeat to pick up. She may have seen it on TV, but it wasn’t the same as seeing it up close in person. Her gaze shot back up to yours when you cleared your throat. You smiled at her knowingly, and she chuckled nervously.

“Wanna invite me in? It’s kinda cold out here.” You spoke as you rubbed your arms to provide the warmth you needed. Boa immediately ushered you in and closed the door behind you, locking it. You’ve been to her place many times so you were well accustomed to making yourself at home. You plopped down on the couch with a sigh. She sat right beside you and rested her head on her hand as she watched you.

You felt her looking at you and your lips curved into a smile. “You should take a picture.” Boa sat up straighter, confused and somewhat startled by your words. You found her confused expression to be utterly cute and it only made you want to tease her more. “Of me. You should take a picture so you don’t have to keep looking.” You continued, causing her eyes to widen. Her ears had noticeably gotten red and she shifted her gaze from you, trying her best to focus on anything that wasn’t you.

“Unnie, I’m just messing with you!” You playfully shoved her shoulder, resulting in her letting out a nervous laugh. She had no choice but to laugh it off as it was painfully obvious that she was embarrassed.

Boa opened her mouth to say something but the sound of a phone ringing caused all of the words she wanted to say to disperse. You looked at your phone and your eyes widened. “I’m gonna be right back, okay?” You told her as you stood up hastily, making a move to go into another room. Her eyes also widened and she nodded, urging you to go.

She crossed her legs and waited patiently. She couldn’t help but get curious though. Why did you need to go into another room? You usually don’t mind answering calls in front of her. Eyebrows furrowing, she tried her best to listen to what you were saying on the phone. Did she think it was wrong to be invading your privacy? Yes. Was her curiosity overshadowing the guilt she felt brewing? Also, yes. She limited her movement and did her best to be as quiet as possible, only being able to overhear your conversation.

Her head tilted at your hushed giggles. Her suspicions were growing at who you could possibly be talking to. She started thinking of names of idols you’re somewhat close with. Yuna? No, you’ve talked to her with Boa around. Yoon? No, she would be able to hear Yoon’s voice through the phone loud and clear. Taeyeon? No, you were just with her. Unless she was calling you to see if you made it safely. Why would she be the one to know that? Boa’s head was swimming with questions but she was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard you tell the person a farewell.

Acting like she wasn’t listening, she quickly grabbed the remote and pretended to be looking for another show. Once you came back, she looked up at you and smiled. It wasn’t the most genuine and you could tell, but you returned her smile and sat beside her once again, nonetheless.

Silence had overcome you both, but it was a comfortable one. Boa abruptly stopped browsing through the shows, causing you to look over at her. “Who was that?” She asked, keeping her eyes fixed on the tv. Your eyebrows raised at the sudden question.

“On the phone?” She nodded, to which you sat up straighter, and placed your hands on your lap. “Taeyeon unnie.” You answered as if it was nothing. To you, it really was nothing, but not to Boa. She let out a dry laugh, causing your eyebrows to furrow.

“Of course.” She muttered under her breath as she placed the remote on the table. “What do you mean by that?” You questioned, turning your whole body to face her. “I’m just not surprised, that’s all.” She responded, still not bothering to look at you.

“Why is that not surprising to you?” You were now feeling strange about the sudden change in her tone. “You and her have been hanging out quite often as of recently, and now you don’t want to call her in front of me.” She stated, now turning to face you. She was immediately met with your confused and somewhat offended expression.

“Why does who I hang out with matter to you?” You didn’t know where this side of Boa was coming from and you didn’t know how to feel about it. In your eyes, you weren’t doing anything wrong. Sure, it may have been odd that you chose not to answer the call in front of her, but you didn’t know how she’d react if you did answer it while she was present. It felt rude to talk on the phone in front of her and not giving her your full attention, especially after not seeing her in so long. You guys weren’t together so the way she was acting caught you off guard.

You could tell that your response had also caught her off guard. Her eyes widened as she realized how she was coming across. You had no idea how she felt about you and her jealousy even surprised her. “I-“ She didn’t know what to say and her lack of response made it evident.

“I think I should leave.” You spoke, picking up your phone before standing up and making your way to the door, to which Boa abruptly stood up. “Wait-“ You weren’t interested in what she had to say and proceeded to unlock the door despite her following behind you.

You opened the door and stepped outside, leaving a regretful Boa standing near the door. “Goodnight.” You sent a short smile her way before closing the door behind you. She couldn’t even bother chasing after you as she knew you did not want to talk to her for the rest of the night or however long you chose. She knew she could’ve tried harder to get you to stay but she simply wouldn’t know what to say if she succeeded.

Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair and went back to sit on the couch. Boa knew she had to apologize, but she would have to go the extra mile in doing so. You were not dating but why did it feel like you just broke up with her?

-

A few days have passed and you still haven’t bothered to text her. You’ve occasionally posted on Instagram and Boa would notice every time, of course. She even continued to like your posts. She would usually comment, but she was scared of doing so after you left her place. She wanted to send you a message and apologize, but every time she would type something out, she would quickly delete it.

From your perspective, you were still somewhat upset with the way she acted and you were most definitely not going to be the one to initiate a conversation. You just chose to keep yourself busy and act as if she didn’t even exist. You were very conflicted in your feelings and she popped up in your mind every now and then. And by every now and then, it really meant every day. You wanted to talk to her but you were too stubborn to do so.

You went as far as hinting at her in the captions of your Instagram posts or when you posted on Weverse. You missed her, which was understandable since you both were together often and it felt weird not talking to or seeing her for so long. She, however, never picked up on your hints. She was just as oblivious as you were to her feelings.

You weren’t too sure how you felt about Boa until you spent this time away from her. Sure, you were close friends but why did you feel so empty without her by your side? You could be hanging out with your friends and your mind would always drift to her, causing your friends to always have to snap you out of it.

-

More time passed and you were currently working on another song. Normally you would have Boa by your side listening and giving her input, so working alone only made you feel weirder. You sighed at the realization that you would not be able to finish this song if she kept popping up in your mind.

You decided you go on your phone and as soon as the screen lit up, you noticed there was a message from a minute ago. Your ringer was off so if you hadn’t checked your phone, you simply wouldn’t have known. You unlocked it to see who it was from and what it said, and you couldn’t believe your eyes when you read the name and text.

7:15pm

Boa unnie <3

“Can you come outside?”

You clicked on the message to make sure your eyes weren’t deceiving you. How did she know you were at the studio? Staring at your phone in utter confusion, you forgot that she was able to see that you read the message due to your read receipts being on. Another message popped up,

7:16pm

Boa unnie <3

“Please?”

You placed your phone in your pocket and stood up before making your way out the door. It was cold outside, so you hoped she wasn’t out there for too long. Knowing her, she was probably debating on actually sending the message and waited before going through with it. With how quickly she responded, she must have been staring at her phone as she waited for your response.

As soon as you stepped outside, you were immediately hit with the cold breeze. However, you didn’t care for that as you were only thinking about one thing or specifically, one person. You ventured further out and noticed a figure with their hands in their pockets as they were looking down.

“Unnie?” The sound of your voice alerted the person and they looked up. The sight of Boa nearly knocked the wind out of your lungs. It felt like forever since you’d seen her and with her now in front of you, you wanted nothing more than to hug her. Still being stubborn, you weren’t going to make the first move.

“Y/N..” She breathed out, a sense of relief washing over her at the sight of you after all these days. The fact that you actually came out and didn’t leave her out in the cold lifted her spirits. Knowing you wouldn’t be the first to make physical contact, she stepped forward and hesitantly opened her arms, testing whether or not you’d accept an embrace. Thankfully, you eagerly wrapped your arms around her neck, to which she happily wrapped hers around your waist.

If she could hold you in her arms for eternity, she would. Happiness bloomed inside of you as you enjoyed the comfort her hug provided. Boa was equally as content and once she pulled away, all she could do was stare at you. Truly soaking in your presence and making sure this wasn’t a dream. Her eyes trailed down to your lips and the movement of your lips brought her out of the trance she was in. Blinking quickly, her eyes shot back up. “I’m sorry?” She wasn’t able to hear anything you had just said, earning a chuckle from you.

“I asked why you were here so late.” You spoke softly, causing her to awkwardly shift her weight from one foot onto the other. “Well..” You looked at her expectingly, waiting for her to go on. “For starters, I wanted to apologize for how I reacted.” She began, clasping her hands together as she looked down.

“I don’t know why— well, I do know why I acted the way I did. I was jealous.” She confessed, causing your eyes to widen. “Why would you be jealous?” Your obliviousness was truly going to be the death of her. It was already embarrassing enough to state that she was jealous, but for the reason as to why she was made her embarrassment insufferable.

“I was under the impression that something between you and Taeyeon was happening. Unfortunately, my mouth was faster than my ability to rationally think and properly go about that situation.” Boa admitted as she occasionally glanced at you to see your reaction as she spoke.

A smile spread across your face as you listened to her speak. She gained the courage to say that, and you appreciated her doing so.

“Well, maybe I could have reassured you if you had informed me how you were feeling a long time ago.” You spoke, which caused her eyebrows to furrow as a result of her being unsure of what you meant when you said that.

“Reassure how?” Now it was her turn to be oblivious. You found her confused expression to be cute, evoking a soft laugh out of you. You took a step closer, feeling your confidence build up after realizing your feelings were reciprocated.

“Can I show you?” She nodded slowly, not breaking eye contact. You cupped her face, tilting your head and leaning in to capture her lips. Her eyes fluttered closed, completely immersing herself in the kiss and pouring all of her emotions into it. You matched her passion, hoping to convey everything you felt and more. It seemed that she had gotten the message as she smiled into the kiss.

Boa pulled back slightly and looked deeply into your eyes. "You have no idea how long I've wanted that to happen." She whispered against your lips, earning a chuckle from you. You felt a profuse amount of warmth spreading through your chest. “I was thinking the same thing..”

Just as she began closing the space between the two of you again, a gasp was heard nearby. You both pulled away from each other, hastily looking in the direction of where the noise came from. Your eyes widened once they landed on your manager standing there.

“Finally!” They shouted out, your shock now being replaced with confusion. You looked over to Boa, but were met with her smiling. “You knew she was coming?” You asked as you turned back to your manager, to which they nodded.

“How else do you think she knew you were at the studio?”

You were at a loss for words, your reaction bringing a laugh out of Boa and your manager. You were too stunned to react to her interlocking your fingers together, but when she gave your hand a gentle squeeze, you were pulled out of the addled state.

The corner of your lips curved up into a smile as you turned to her. Your eyes trailed down to her lips and the urge to kiss her was incredibly strong, but you had to hold yourself back considering your manager was still there.

“Now that everything is settled, can you both come inside? It is too chilly out here.” Your manager requested, bringing your attention back to them. They smiled and opened the door, gesturing for you both to enter.

Once you made it back inside, you all headed right back to the studio. You were in a much better mood and had a spark of inspiration. Deciding to put the song you were working on in the back burner, you now began working on another one. This time, creating one with a more romantic feel.

With your muse by your side, the lyrics came easy to you. Fondness swam in Boa’s eyes as she watched you formulate your ideas before picking up your guitar and strumming some notes. She listened attentively as you hummed the melody, her smile never leaving her face.

You felt her gaze on you so you turned to her, “What do you think?” You asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious under her observation. This scenario felt oddly familiar.

“You sound amazing, love.”