#i've got so many christmas/holiday ideas !!!!

[elirandom]

The sudden urge to write a monster AU in a fandom I know nothing about except what I see in gifs and read in fic. I've tried to watch playthroughs but it's not my thing.

But I listened to Rammstein's Heirate mich in the car to work and the lyrics just made me imagine Ghost as a ghoul waiting by Soap's grave. Which I know, he wasn't buried but cremated but I'm ignoring that. And Soap wakes up/remade but perhaps not as a ghoul but as an each-uisge because he's Scottish. I know ghouls are of pre-Islamic origin but, I digress. I just would love an obsessed even past death of each other, Wuthering heights type of fucked up. Entwined forever, with added monsters and blood.

You see him creeping around the church he has been alone for a year The sadness took away all of his senses he sleeps every night by the grave There, by the bells sleeps a stone and I alone can read it and on the fence, the red rooster who was your heart at that time The fear has been skewered on this fence I now go digging every night to see what still remains of the face that smiled for me There by the bells I spend the night there between snails, a lonely animal during the day I run after the night you escape me for the second time with my hands I dig deep to find what I missed so much and under the moon in its most beautiful dress I have kissed your cold mouth

[kookygranger]

Fairytale of Hawkins: Part One

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

A cheesy hallmark Christmas fic inspired by @bettyfrommars's tow truck!Eddie and prompts #1 & #6 from Betty and @allthingsjoeq's Holiday Prompt Party

Summary: You're spending Christmas in your best friend Robin's hometown this year, after spending far too many alone in the city. She can't wait to introduce you to the gang and all the wholesome festive activities they get up to, but you may have already made a not-so-good first (and second) impression on a certain metalhead in the first few days of your visit.

Warnings: mention of car crashing into snowbank (no damage), reader gets drunk (happy holidays!), reader doesn't have family, reader and Eddie are in their late 20s/early 30s, swearing

Word count: 4.4k

Author's note: I've spent far too long agonising over this when it's supposed to be silly and fun and not perfect, so please just have this first part and ignore me screaming into a pillow in the corner.

Part Two

6 Days 'Til Christmas

You really weren’t feeling the holiday spirit this year.

Not that you normally did.

Christmas for you, meant taking advantage of a quiet city, spending the hours alone walking the empty streets and having nothing but smoked salmon and champagne for dinner without feeling guilty. Sometimes (every Christmas), you’d let a corny Hallmark movie play on your TV and cringe and laugh at the predictableness of it all. Maybe, you’d be a bit quieter when the lovesick couple inevitably kissed at the end, maybe you’d pour yourself a little more champagne.

The aesthetic of the holiday season itself, you didn’t mind so much. The pretty twinkling lights, spiced hot drinks, and cookies you could take. But the frenzied crowds, all the talk of “goodwill” and “Christmas cheer”, when all you had to do was spend an hour in a department store to witness the real ugliness of humanity – hard pass. And let’s not forget Christmas day itself, either people would be spending it stuck with family, passive-aggressive comments and secrets coming out after the first few rounds of spiked punch, or they’d be forcefully and painfully reminded of just how lonely they were in this world.

The snow was nice. You secretly enjoyed the quiet and stillness a fresh blanket of snow could bring to the city. But out here in the sticks? Snow was your worst enemy.

Once your heart had settled back to a normal pace, you got out of the car to assess the damage. There was no smoke coming from places it shouldn’t, no visible scratches or dents that you could see – but there was also no way in hell that you were getting this car out of the snowbank you’d crashed into. At least the deer you swerved to avoid was probably off in the trees to your left with its family, living to frolic another day.

“Shit.”

You had no idea where you were. Already lost on the horrible directions your best friend Robin had given you before that damn deer came out of nowhere. The snow was coming down faster than the street plows could keep up with, your hair drenched in a few minutes as another shiver ran through your whole body.

Hawkins was cold. Like, freezing. You always thought winter was winter, but they really took it to another level here in the Midwest.

The day still had a little light left in it, but darkness was fast approaching. You decided the smart thing to do was wait in the car and hope that somebody driving by would be able to help. Or pretend to help before murdering you. Well, you didn’t think walking on a fairly deserted road in the middle of a snowstorm when you had no idea which direction to go would produce better results. So, you waited.

And waited.

Oh god, you were gonna die here all alone. You never should’ve let Robin talk you into coming home with her for Christmas. You could be happily wrapped up in blankets in your climate-controlled apartment with a warm mug of eggnog right now.

Wait! The rum you bought for making eggnog with Robin.

You scramble to reach over the car’s middle console, hands rummaging through the paper bags on the floor in the back until you find the smooth glass neck of a bottle.

The rum burns your throat on the way down with the first swig, but the edge is taken off soon after with a couple more swallows – the familiar warmth settling into your skin once you’ve polished off about a quarter of the bottle. You curl up into your seat, tucking your legs into your coat and holding the bottle of rum close to your chest.

Distracted by the fuzzy feeling seeping into your head and thoughts of which picture of you they’d use to announce your death on the local news, you don’t notice the sound of a truck approaching or its headlights shining across the back of your car.

Maybe Robin will give them a good one of you on vacation together in The Bahamas last year. God, you wish you’d gone somewhere warm instead.

You almost jump out of your skin, letting out an involuntary squeak when someone knocks on your window. Barely making out the shape of a man with wild hair through the condensation that had fogged up the glass.

“You alright in there?”

Please don’t be a murderer, please don’t be a murderer, please don’t be a murderer.

You open the car door and step out on shaky legs, almost stacking it when your feet are swallowed by a much thicker blanket of snow than you were expecting. The man reaches out to steady you, his hands engulfing your forearms as you look up at your rescuer. Or potential downfall. A black beanie covers the top of his head but does little to protect the rest of his wild curls that fall across his shoulders from the still falling snow. You briefly take note of the blue coveralls with a name sewn in red thread across his heart, before you’re sucked in by the worried look in his brown doe eyes.

“Are you alright?”

You nod, stuttering when you try and speak, gesturing to the car behind you and then to the road. “I–the car, there was a–and then, the ice just sort of…”

The stranger straightens up, the warmth from his hands leaving you as he eyes you wearily, “You been drink driving?”

“What? No! God, no…I–I,” you take a deep breath, trying to compose the thoughts that were tumbling too fast out of your mouth. God, he was pretty. “After I realised I wasn’t going anywhere,” you point to the front of the car, barely visible from the snow piled around it, “I may have opened a bottle of rum to keep warm.”

He scoffs a little meanly, “You realise that’s not how it works right? You actually lose heat faster when you’re drunk.”

A tingling warmth crawls up your neck at his scolding and you shrug, “Well, I thought if I was gonna die I might as well do it with a good buzz.”

He squints at you, his stare stony and you can’t tell what you’ve done to warrant this level of offence from a total stranger. Was he helping you or not? “You’re not from around here are you?”

You straighten up reflexively, shoulders going back in defence, “What makes you say that?”

He gestures vaguely to all of you, “Well, apart from the fact that you ooze city girl,” you frown, “it’s a small town. I woulda remembered you if you grew up here.”

He didn’t say it with a smirk or a sly look at your body. You knew it wasn’t meant as a compliment. Not a ‘you’re so pretty I would’ve remembered you’ but a ‘you stand out in all the wrong ways’.

“Okay, um,” you look around and notice his truck parked behind him, disbelief painting your face when you turn back to him and take in the ‘Munson Motors’ patch on the other side of his name. “Would you be able to help me?”

He answers with a frown as if the question itself is offensive. He has a tow truck and you're stranded on the side of the road in below-zero conditions. Of course, he’s going to help you.

Eddie, goes straight to work hooking up your car to the back of his truck, pulling it out of the snowbank and parking off to the side of the road again as you stand out of the way and watch, shivering now that the freezing outside air has begun to sober you up.

When he jumps back out of the truck to check your car is secure, he clears his throat, speaking to you like he's continuing a conversation, “How long you been out here?”

Your breath catches in a cloud of condensation as you exhale. “What’s the time?”

He pulls back the blue fabric of his left sleeve to check his watch, “Quarter past six.”

“Oh, um…a couple of hours I think.” It had been 45 minutes.

He nods as he gives a chain one final tug. “Guess no one’s come past ‘cause it’d be dumb to drive around in these conditions.”

You had to hold back from reflexively rolling your eyes. Here comes the mansplain.

“You know, you really shouldn’t be driving without chains on your tires.”

You huff, “Well, it’s not my car and I was only popping out to the store to get some groceries…an–and I got lost and then a deer just–” You wave your hand across the road stumbling over your words as the stupidly pretty tow truck driver turns to you and raises his eyebrows. “Forget it.” You sighed, “Is the car gonna be alright?”

Eddie licks his bottom lip, his intense gaze starting to heat you up again as he slowly nods. “The car will be fine. I can drop you and it off if you’ve got an address for me in town.”

“Uh, yeah. Thanks.”

***

A sigh leaves you as the warmth of the truck cab engulfs you, the smell of tobacco and the black ice magic tree hanging from the rearview mirror, along with something woodsy surrounding you on the inhale.

“Where to?” Eddie plops himself into the driver’s seat, pulling out onto the road as you give him Robin’s parent's address.

The ride there is mostly quiet, aside from the low hum of a Black Sabbath song coming out of the speakers, and you get the feeling Eddie the tow truck guy doesn’t take well to city girls getting themselves into sticky situations on his roads. You’re starting to feel a little silly yourself as the rum buzz well and truly wears off. This was a little too damsel in distress-y for your liking. You were an independent woman for god sake, the best solution you could come up with was getting drunk before an incredibly well-timed, handsome local had to come to your rescue?

As soon as Eddie pulls up to the curb he’s jumping out of the truck, clearly not wanting to spend another minute in awkward silence. You were never really good at small talk.

It isn’t until the passenger side door slams behind you that you notice the yelling.

“Oh my god! I thought you were for sure dead!”

Robin almost knocks you onto the sidewalk when she slams into you.

“Oh, I was so worried! I kept telling my dad, I think I told her the wrong directions. I told you to turn right on Maple when you should have turned left–“Her arms flail about in the air as she rambles in a panic and you just smile at her.

“Rob, I’m fine. I got to the shops okay in the end, it was getting back that was the problem. Then this deer ran out in front of me and I lost control when I swerved.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I almost killed you. You haven’t even been in town a full day!” She squishes your cheeks in between her hands, and you laugh.

Once she’s satisfied that you’re okay, she turns to Eddie as he walks up to the both of you. “Thanks for bringing my girl back alive Munson.” Robin beams and you notice Eddie’s eyes darting between the both of you, things clicking into place before she tackles him with a hug.

“Nice to see ya Buckley.” You hear Eddie mumble something into Robin’s hair and she laughs.

Figures. He was that Eddie. The metalhead with a heart of gold. Fantasy nerd that you were “going to love.” Obviously, your mind hadn’t immediately associated the grumpy tow truck driver Eddie with the one you’d heard hundreds of stories about, the one that was supposed to be warm and quick to welcome outsiders. Maybe it was just you?

“The car’ll be fine. Might just take a little while to warm up next time you go to start it, but if you have any issues just drop it by the shop.” He speaks directly to Robin as if it were her that he’d just rescued from the side of the road.

She thanked him with an affectionate punch to the shoulder and you tried to catch his eye before he turned away.

“Thanks again, for uh–for your help.”

He just nods, eyes briefly making contact with yours before they flit away again and he walks back to his truck.

“Don’t let her get lost again. It’s only gonna get colder over the next week.” He shouts before he slams his door shut behind him.

You turn to Robin who’s cheerily waving him off.

“Cold-er? It gets cold-er?!”

***

5 Days 'Til Christmas

“This is ridiculous.” Condensation forms around your huffs of breath, Jack Frost nipping at the tip of your nose and cheeks as you pull your coat tighter around you, stumbling slightly on the icy ground.

“The only thing ridiculous is your dress sense.” Robin giggles, pausing to let you catch up with her, arm linking with your own as you cross the car park together.

“This is my favourite coat.” You pout.

She shakes her head, “I know it is. And I know how much it cost, but we need to get you something sturdier and some thermals or something.” Her free hand rubs the thin, expensive material on your shoulder.

“Maybe, we should just stop leaving the house.” You grumble, causing Robin to knock her shoulder against yours.

“C’mon! I know we’re meeting everyone in a couple of days, but when Steve told me Jonathan and Nance we’re going to be at the bar tonight as well I thought it’d be the perfect opportunity for you to meet the grown-ups first.”

“Aren’t the kids at college now?”

You’d learnt a lot about Robin’s chosen family over the years. Having met Steve multiple times when he came to visit her in the city and been regaled by countless stories of the trouble they’d all gotten up to in high school.

“Yeah, but they’re not legal drinking age yet and it’ll be much easier meeting everyone else without them around trust me.”

The Hideout definitely wasn’t anything like the bars you frequented in the city, and you couldn’t help thinking about where you were a week ago – an office Christmas party that involved two-hundred-dollar bottles of champagne and coke in the marbled bathrooms – as your weather inappropriate shoes found the sticky floor and your nose wrinkled involuntarily at the smell, eyes wandering over the small crowd of mostly old men hunched over their half-empty drinks.

“Charming,” you murmur, Robin’s arm tightening its hold on you upon seeing her best friend waving at the both of you across the room.

“Hey dingus,” She ruffles Steve’s hair as you approach the group sitting around a small wooden table.

“Hey numbnut.” He was quick to push his hair back, everything but a lonely strand falling back into perfect place. Robin took an empty chair, while Steve captured you in a much-needed embrace, greeting you warmly and without a childish nickname.

He kept an arm around your shoulder as he introduced you to the three other occupants of the table. You shake Nancy and Jonathan’s hand, smiling at the way they held each other, but when you hold out your hand to their friend Argyle he just laughs and gets up to hug you with a “Come here my lil’ city slicker.” The scent of pineapple and pot clinging to you as you take a seat while Steve heads to the bar to get you and Robin a drink.

“Where’s Eddie?”

The pang that jolts you at Robin’s casual mention of her friend’s name is slightly concerning.

“He’s over there with the guys.” You follow Jonathan’s gesture to a group of boys standing next to a makeshift stage at the far end of the bar. A tousle of brown waves in a leather jacket stands with his back to you with three others dressed much the same, all drinking beer and laughing. You couldn’t see his face, but even from here you notice his shoulders look more relaxed than he was during your encounter yesterday.

Maybe you’d get to see the “warm” Eddie now that he wasn’t having to haul your car out of the snow.

Steve returns to your table with drinks and takes the seat next to you, reaching over your shoulders to pinch Robin when she complains about hers not having enough ice before letting his arm relax around you. Steve had seamlessly fit himself into your life when you first met just as he always did in any situation, and you knew that he could sense your nerves about meeting the rest of the group. You just hoped he didn’t pick up on any nerves about the presence of one in particular.

“Nice of you to join us Buckley.”

You tense as Eddie appears at the table and Steve squeezes your shoulder, smirking into his drink.

Never fucking mind.

“Oh my god, you guys I have to tell you all about Eddie’s hero moment yesterday!”

As Robin captures the attention of the group with a dramatic retelling of yesterday’s events, your eyes wander to your reluctant rescuer. He was yet to acknowledge your existence, only rubbing his neck and blushing when praise was thrown his way. His attention is mostly on Robin’s theatrics before it shifts, and you notice his gaze land on something by your shoulder. You look down at Steve’s hand still resting there and when you look back up your eyes catch shining, dark chocolate ones.

You’re the first to break the spell, eyes quickly landing on the table, unable to hold his intense stare.

When Robin finishes her story you excuse yourself to get another drink, having nervously gulped yours down already and you pass Steve on your way back to the table.

“Hey, can you give these to Eddie? He’s just outside. I need to take a leak, thanks.” He walks away quickly, leaving you with a packet of cigarettes in your hand.

***

Eddie stands with his back to you, leaning against the brick of the bar as you exit the swinging door, a blast of arctic air hitting you as you immediately wrap your arms around yourself.

“Hey.”

He spins around at the sound of your voice.

“Uh, Steve said you needed to borrow a smoke?” You hold up the pack.

He stares at you for a second before he lifts an unlit cigarette in between his fingers.

“I’m all good. Bummed one off Gareth.”

You nod and shove the carton in your coat pocket.

“You smoke?”

“God no, I value my lungs. These are Steve’s.” You shake your head and Eddie raises his eyebrows, pausing in his motion to light the cigarette now pursed between his lips, the yellow flame from his scuffed bic lighter flickering in the chilled breeze.

He releases his thumb from the lighter, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and frowning at it.

“So uh, I didn’t expect you and Buckley to show up tonight.”

You grip your coat tighter around you, it’s far too cold to be out here but you’re pleasantly surprised that he’s initiating conversation with you. “Oh yeah, Robin dragged me out of the house to come see some lame band. Personally, I think it’s too cold to do anything other than drink tea under a pile of blankets but–“

“Robin said they were lame?”

“What?”

“The band playing here tonight, she said they were lame?”

“No, she just mentioned that they’re here every Tuesday,” you look up at the neon signage hanging above the door, missing a ‘d’ with a barely flickering ‘o’ and shrug, “I figured–“

“Hey, Ed!” One of the boys Eddie had been standing with earlier pops his head out of the bar door, giving you a curt nod when you turn around. “You ready? We’re on in two.”

“Yeah, just give us a sec.”

The boy disappears back behind the door and you screw your eyes shut. Of course it was his band.

“Shit, Eddie I’m sor–“

“You always just say things without thinking?” His arms are crossed, eyes squinting at you in that offended disbelief that seemed to be reserved just for you and your big mouth.

You sigh, “Only around you apparently.”

You swear you see the corner of his mouth twitch. “Why’s that city girl?”

The nickname could almost pass as a term of endearment, the way it comes out of him in a drawl if it wasn’t for your terrible first and second impressions preceding you.

You shake your head, “Never mind. I’m gonna–“ You point your thumb behind your shoulder, “Yeah,” and walk back inside before you manage to say anything else idiotic, Eddie grinning after your retreating form.

***

You watch Eddie thrash about on stage under the haze of a couple of shots, needing a little liquid courage before you could throw yourself back into socialising – at least you seemed to be getting along with the rest of the group.

His skin was glowing with sweat under the cheap yellow stage lights, leather jacket abandoned so you could now see the tattoos peaking out from under his tattered old band shirt. One that hugged his biceps as they flexed with the ferocity of his guitar playing. Holy shit.

When he jumps off stage and approaches his friends, you can’t take your eyes off the damp hair that sticks to his neck and forehead.

“You guys were amazing.”

He bows his head at your compliment. The two of you now slightly off to the side of the rest of the group as they figure out whose round it is. “Not lame then?”

“No,” you shake your head, “no, I shouldn’t have–that was shitty of me to judge without hearing you. To judge, full stop. I’m not like that normally. I know you think I’m just some city girl who’s completely out of touch but I’m just–I got a bit nervous about meeting you all and making a good impression for Robin. I’m sorry.”

He rubs the back of his neck, “S’nothin’ to apologise for. Not like we’re playing The Garden or anything.”

“That doesn’t matter.” You frown, “You’re great–I mean the band are great–I can tell that you all love playing up there no matter the audience. That’s what’s important.”

“Thanks.” His soft tone and doe eyes threaten to swallow you whole. You look away, burning up under his attention again.

“You’re welcome.”

“We’re playing pool now, I need you on my team c’mon.” Robin wraps her arms around you and drags you away before Eddie gets the chance to keep you talking.

***

“Wait, Steve! You’re not driving?” You cringe at Robin’s slurred volume as she shouts across the small car park, thankful this isn’t a residential area.

“Pfft no! I’ve had way too many. I’m going in Nance’s car.” She glares at her best friend as he follows Jonathan and Argyle, waving her off.

“How are we getting home?!” She raises her arms in exasperation and turns to you as if you’d be able to offer a solution, the creaking of the bar door opening behind you grabbing both of your attention as Eddie steps out. He stops short, car keys coming to a halt mid-swing when he notices eyes on him.

“Eddieeee.” Robin sing-songs, wrapping her arm around your shoulder. His eyebrow quirks up. “Fancy dropping off two gorgeous young girls and making sure they get home safe?” She leans her head into yours and you giggle.

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Yeah whatever, get in.”

Robin turns away abruptly to head towards his van, leaving you to stumble without the support, Eddie’s warm hands brace your arms before you even have time to think.

“You good?”

You nod, “Had a lot to drink.”

He huffs a laugh as you sway, breath stuttering when you look up at him, “Yeah, you did.”

The snow that falls around you two lands softly on your face, melting in your hair and on your eyelashes as you crinkle your nose.

“It’s so cold.”

He licks his bottom lip, “Right, right let’s get you home yeah?”

***

Despite Robin’s clumsy nature she always manages to stay light on her feet when she’s drunk. So, by the time Eddie pulls up to the Buckley residence she’s shooting out of the van, cackling at her own joke while you’re still trying to undo your seatbelt. Eddie tells you to stay still before he jogs to the passenger side and unhooks you, holding onto your arm as you step down onto the ground on wobbly legs.

“Where’s Robin?” You look around, the front yard frosted in snow that’s warmed by yellow fairy lights hanging around the edges of the house, but noticeably void of your charmingly sassy friend.

“She’s already inside. Here, let me get you to the door.”

His hands help steady you, guiding you to safety up the icy path, one stretching over your lower back the other holding your elbow. You hadn’t noticed his rings before now, silver glinting under the lights now directly above you as you walk up to the front porch. These hands adorned in skulls seemed to keep coming to your rescue. But you don’t need some hot tow truck, sexy guitarist guy coming to your rescue. You’re a capable, independent woman.

You feel Eddie’s breath on the back of your neck when he laughs softly.

“You think I’m sexy huh?”

You frown as you stop at the front door, shaking your head “What, why would you think that?”

“’Cause you just said it.”

“Out loud?!”

He snickers as you bury your face in your hands, “I have to stop drinking around you.”

Eddie bites his lip as you slip through the front door mumbling a good night and close it behind you without another glance at his smug face. He’s still smiling as he turns the ignition, the radio on low as Fairytale of New York fills his van with warmth. He takes a deep breath and shakes his head before pulling away from the curb, this fuzzy feeling in his chest not something that’s familiar to him.

“Fuck.”

[whorekneecentral]

A New Tradition

George Russell x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cheesy christmas traditions, first christmas as a married couple, matching pjs, handsy george, penetrative sex (p in v), oral (m!receiving), cream pie.

Word Count: 1,148

Author's Note: this is a short one and it's late lol, my apologize to the george girlies

merry smutmas series

--

You and George spend your first Christmas together and you mash together the traditions from both of your families. 

Your first Christmas as a married couple was a special one.

When the two of you were dating, you bounced from place to place. Your family or his depending on the year and the holiday. Now that you were married, George suggested that the two of you spend the holidays at home, just you and him.

You agreed with his suggestion, the two of you calling your families and letting them know that from now until new years, you'd be unavailable as you'd be spending time together.

Most of the racing season, you don't get to see George. You're stuck at work and there are very few weekends that you're able to hop on a plane and go see him. When he's home from racing, he's exhausted so you don't get to go many places or do much.

It wasn't the ideal way to spend your first year as a married couple but that's life I suppose.

The holidays were a much needed break from reality; you and your husband cuddled up with nothing to do and nnwhere to be.

As a married couple does, you had old traditions and new ones.

George suggested stockings be your new tradition, seeing that neither you nor him had one in years. You got customs ones made, all your favourite places and things on there, your names stitched into the top and hung on your fireplace.

As for old traditions, your family always ordered Christmas breakfast opposed to making it. So you ordered from your favourite spot, a few minutes from the flat in London.

After breakfast, you two opened your gifts, FaceTiming your families to wish them a Merry Christmas.

The rest of the afternoon was spent lazing, you two went for a walk around the block, getting some fresh air before George started on Christmas dinner - his family tradition. He made sure to get everything done for 7pm on the dot, of course his mum on FaceTime so the two of them could cook together. That was mostly because George had no idea what he was doing. You popped in and out to help when you could but George shooed you away, assuring you he knew what he was doing.

For a first attempt, things came together quite well. He did burn the potatoes but if you look past that, it was just as good as his mum's.

A new tradition, a Christmas movie marathon topped with matching pjs.

Your lives were so hectic, you barely saw each other, let alone had time to watch a movie together without the other falling asleep.

The two of you had debated quite a bit before you settled on a pair. You wanted something fun like the Grinch and George wanted the classic flannel.

As any married couple would do, you compromised; flannel pants for George, flannel shorts for you and you both had these cheesy custom shirts that Lewis had made for you two as a joke - George's race car with the Roscoe sitting in it.

The two of you were sprawled on the couch, the tv playing quietly in the background. You tried to focus on the movie but all you could feel was George's fingers on your legs. Your husband traced patterns into your skin, his fingers wandering higher with each passing second.

"George," you mumble, his hand wiggling away from your grip as it continues its hike up your legs.

"What?" He looks over at you.

"Are you even watching the movie?"

"I've seen it a million times babe."

You roll your eyes, "yeah? So what's happening?"

George looks up at the screen, trying to make up something but he shrugs. "I don't know." He admits, making you laugh.

The man pulls you to sit up, his hands on your hips as he helps you up and over onto his lap. "How am I meant to watch the movie if I'm facing you?" You asked him, arms over his shoulder.

"I'm much better than the movie," he says, a smile on his face.

You roll your eyes yet again, playfully of course. George pulls you flush against him, his hands under your shirt. "This isn't very family friendly, George."

He pulls the shirt over your head, tossing it somewhere behind you. "Good thing there's no family here."

You lean into your husband, kissing him softly before moving to his cheek and down his jaw.

The kisses trail down his neck to his collarbone before you scoot back on his lap and begin kissing down his chest, his shirt joining yours on the floor. You follow the pattern of his freckles all the way down to his hips.

Sliding off his lap, you settle onto your knees in front of George. Your husband smiles, his knuckles rubbing along your jaw.

“You’re so pretty,” he hums, leaning down to kiss you.

Your hands slide between the two of you, undoing the knot on his pants, George lifts his hips and helps you slide them off. His eyes fixed on you as your lips wrap around his cock, his chest dropping and raising with each breath.

He can’t help but watch the way your head bobs up and down. His hand pulls your hair away from your face, letting you set the pace.

His head falls back against the couch, breathing out a string of explicits as you hollow your cheeks. “C’mere, sweetheart.” George whispers, pulls you off him slowly, savouring the feeling of your tongue sliding up the underside of his cock.

You're back on his lap now, George's hands reach under you to pull your shorts to the side. You're kissing him again, he was about to pull your panties to the side only to realize you don’t have any on. He smiles against your lips.

George lets you sink down onto his cock. Both of you letting out a satisfied sigh, your nails dig into his pale skin. The red marks on his shoulders match the nail polish on your fingers.

It’s hot, heated, and heavy.

He bucks his hips and your nails drop down from his shoulders to the scratches along his back. He lets out a groan, his face buried in the crook of his neck.

Your hand tangles in his hair, pulling his head back so you can kiss him. You kiss all over his face, his cheeks red from the blush forming on his cheeks.

He loves when you love on him like that.  

“You’re so good to me,” you mumble against his cheek, rocking your hips back and forth. “Mmm there,” you breathe, chest pressed to his. Charles’s lips find your shoulder, he bites down softly when he cums, feeling you clench around him.

You're lying against your husband, his giant hand on your back. "I think your movie is over," he whispers in your ear.

You giggle, shaking your head. "That's okay.

---

taglist:  @nosugarallspice @evieepepi08 @mimithepooh @koufaxx @dannyramirezwife-simpaccount @topguncultleader @molliemoo3 @aisharmi @mamako23 @ac3may @lewislcver @miahgonzalez16 @books-and-netflix-pls @wibi96 @bwddermilch @pedrisgatorade @clarasenchant @sainzluvrr // @forza55 @norrisleclercf1 @allalngthewtchtower @therealcap @burningcupcakefire @stargirl36 @brettlorenzi3 @guiseppetsunoda @magnummagnussen @flippingmyshit @savrose129 @lovelytsunoda @irda12-blog @dhhdhsiavdhaj @slytheringirlthatkillpeople @f1lovers22 @toomuchdelusion @eviethetheatrefreak @faye2029 @lillians-world-is-f1 @chalando1604 @lenaxwbr @im-obsessed @potashiuhm @lcxlerc16 @enjoythebutterflies3 @lillyfootballsworld @micksmidnights @mashtonbunny @chrlsleclerc @logischeroktopus

[bloodynereid]

Tinsel, Gold and Dragons

(modern au!)

pairings: rhaenyra targaryen x fem! reader, past rhaenyra x alicent

tw: kissing, alicent bashing, alcohol consumption, talk about hooking up, hatred of the holiday season??

description: You were wondering how the hell this family had so many attractive people. Rhaenyra’s brain was currently not computing, she was pretty sure this was called bisexual panic but it had never really happened to her in real life before.

a/n: hiii hope you enjoy this little fic i randomly wrote last night. i've been kind of missing just writing stuff that isn't requests so hopefully this is still ok haha. ALSO i'm 100% an alicent defender, she's the loml so just remember that a lot of this is from rhaenyra's pov and not my own thoughts about her character. anyways hope you enjoy this and happy holidays <3 (might write a part 2 at some point but who knows?)

Rhaenyra Targaryen never liked the holiday season. After her mother died things just got worse and the boring parties she was always subjected to only got more boring. The welcome reprieve of baking gingerbread in the kitchen with her mom was gone in seconds and now holidays just reminded her of everything she had lost.

This year’s party was going to be the worst one by a long shot. Rhaenyra had to deal with Alicent fucking Hightower - oh sorry Targaryen now… that was something she still hadn’t accepted. I mean how do you even cope when your best friend suddenly starts fucking your dad in secret, gets pregnant, marries him and then proceeds to act like she’s Virgin fucking Mary?

The answer is with a lot of scotch, stupid hookups and long hours studying. She was desperate to get her law degree so she could finally do something and it also meant she could start working at her uncle’s law firm.

Currently though she was stuck in her father’s house whilst her new toddler half-brother threw temper tantrums and broke anything in his vicinity.

It was Christmas Eve and Viserys had nearly decided to cancel the annual Christmas party, in favor of “family bonding” but Alicent had somehow convinced him to keep it on. Rhaenyra did not want to think about what she had done to convince him. She nearly gagged at the mere idea of it.

Smoothing out the material of the dark red dress with a slightly higher slit than what would be considered appropriate, Rhaenyra let out an audible sound of satisfaction. She looked fucking hot. Plus Alicent would freak when she saw it, perfect.

Once upon a time Alicent Hightower had been her best friend, and probably something more but now… all that Rhaenyra could muster up for her is a cold chill of utter hate and rage.

Rhaenyra was thrown out of her thoughts when her phone called out the familiar ringtone that belonged to her uncle.

“Daemon… you do know that people can text now don’t you?”

“Haha, you can call me old all you want but you might regret it when I don’t tell you how I’m about to save you tonight.”

“Please tell me you found a way to make them all die fiery deaths.”

“Nothing as dramatic as that but I assure you it’s still the perfect escape.”

“Are you going to leave me in suspense while I endure this torture or…”

“Fine, you spoiled princess. We’re having a little party at the firm and since you’re coming to work here soon…”

“You didn’t.”

“But I did.”

“Fuck off. You mean I can actually leave this party.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t already.”

“You’re my savior.”

“Knight in shining armor and all that. Just remember to get me a good present this year.”

“When do I ever disappoint you?”

“There is also another surprise waiting for you when you get here.”

“Daemon… what have you done?”

“Nothing. There’s just someone I think you should meet.”

“Oh God, maybe I won’t go.”

“You know you’re too desperate not to, plus she’s your age so you won’t have to deal with boring old men like me.”

“She’s a she?” 

Rhaenyra perked up, she hadn’t had a date in a while and ever since Alicent she hadn’t even tried to step her foot back into that pool. A string of meaningless hookups with men had done nothing to quell the heartbreak side of the whole situation. This would probably be good for her. 

“Yes. So I guess that means you’re coming?”

“Obviously.”

“Should I send a car over?”

“Don’t bother, I’ll just drive Syrax.” Syrax was a birthday present from Daemon, a beautiful and subtly gold car that drove like a dream.

“Ok, see you soon Nyra.”

“Bye, Uncle.”

Rhaenyra sped through the streets of King’s Landing in the comfortable leather seat of her car. The bright Christmas lights that adorned the shops made a bright smile appear on her face. She may hate the holidays but at least the lights and food were incredible.

She arrived at the tall building that held Caraxes, Daemon’s law firm and named after his first dog but no one needed to know that. She gave her name to the security guard before parking the car in one of the empty spaces.

Her red dress fluttered in the cold breeze as she waited for the elevator to open. The firm was located on the 60th floor, the penthouse. Rhaenyra always loved being up high so the height was never a problem. What was annoying was how long it took her to actually get up there.

When the elevator doors finally opened at the correct floor, loud Christmas music echoed through the floor and she could clearly hear cheers coming from the area close to Daemon’s office.

Since the secretary was nowhere to be seen, Rhaenyra walked the now familiar route towards her uncle’s office. Weaving through a variety of cubicles she found a large Christmas tree and a small bar had been set up outside her uncle’s office.

“NYRA!” A loud voice that corresponded to her uncle slurred out and his tall frame ambled towards her. Within moments she was suddenly caught in a warm embrace and she returned the hug with her smaller arms wrapping around his torso.

“When did you have time to get this drunk, uncle?” Rhaenyra asked when they finally parted.

“Oh you think this is drunk, darling. Don’t you remember me at that New Year’s-”

“Andddd I’m going to stop you right there. I still get trauma flashbacks.”

“I must say, you look absolutely stunning Nyra. I’m sure our dear Alicent flipped when she saw you.”

“You should have seen her face when I told her I was going to unfortunately not attend her party.” Rhaenyra and Daemon shared a laugh before Daemon spotted someone in the crowd and a smirk appeared on his face.

“Y/N! I have someone you should meet.” 

Rhaenyra followed Daemon’s line of sight and found the most beautiful woman she had probably ever seen. You were wearing a dark blue floor length dress which was held up with spaghetti straps. A pashmina scarf looped around your elbows and you had a smile on your face as you approached the two of them.

“You summoned me?” You asked when you finished weaving through the sea of people.

“Well yes, I wanted you to meet my niece. Rhaenyra this is Y/N, our newest and most promising associate.”

“Pleasure to meet you.” You said as you offered a hand to the stunning silver haired woman. You were wondering how the hell this family had so many attractive people. Rhaenyra’s brain was currently not computing, she was pretty sure this was called bisexual panic but it had never really happened to her in real life before.

“I-uh, nice to meet you too.” Rhaenyra stuttered out as she took Y/N’s hand and shook it.

“Well I’ll leave you two to it.” Daemon said with a conspiring tone in his voice before he disappeared into the crowd.

“So… Daemon’s been singing your merits all over the office for a while now so I think I have an unfair advantage here.”

“Oh God, what has he been saying?” Rhaenyra groaned out as she dramatically swept a hand over her hair.

“Nothing bad, I promise. You’re getting your law degree at The Citadel, right?”

“Yup.”

“How’s that? I was debating going there for a while but ended up going to Oxford instead.”

“It's hell but worth it, I hope.”

“I totally get that, Oxford was like medieval torture but I’m happy it landed me in this place.” You said as you swept a hand in the direction of the office space.

“Wait, how old are you?” Rhaenyra suddenly asked before her face contorted in embarrassment. “Shit, that was rude, sorry.”

“Ha don’t worry, I get that all the time. I’m 25.”

“24.” Rhaenyra offered back in solidarity.

“We’re basically the same age then.” You said with a wink before you took a sip of the amber liquid in the glass tumbler.

“Probably why Daemon shoved us in this little corner together.”

“I’m for one glad to be stuck in this little corner with you.” You said as you smirked in Rhaenyra’s direction. A light blush started to dust Rhaenyra’s cheeks.

“I’m glad too, but I’m desperate for a drink. This week has been hell.”

“You don’t like the holidays either?”

“Hate them.”

“We have something else in common after all.”

You spent the rest of the party sitting next to Rhaenyra in Daemon’s office. You drank sparingly, not wanting to be drunk since Rhaenyra needed to drive back and you didn’t want to act like a fool in front of her.

Rhaenyra felt like this was the first time in years that she felt truly happy. It was nice just to talk and gossip and be free to actually be herself. With Alicent it felt like she was walking on eggshells before the incident and now it was near impossible to be in the same room alone with her. But with Y/N…

At first, Rhaenyra went into this wanting just to have a quick hookup but those hours spent talking or maybe it was the alcohol that got to her head but she decided she deserved something better. She deserved someone better.

“Do you need a ride home?” Rhaenyra asked when people started to mill out of the party. Y/N turned to her in surprise before a gentle smile lit up her face.

“It wouldn’t be any trouble?”

“Not at all, but don’t think this is some kind of selfless act - maybe I just want to spend more time with you.”

“Well, we just have to indulge in your selfish desires don’t we?” You said with a twinkle in your eyes and a laugh on your tongue.

“You have no idea the scope of my selfish desires.”

“I would like to find out…”

Rhaenyra basically dragged you down to her car after that little remark. As she drove through the streets of King’s Landing, you took a leap of blind faith (or maybe love) by gripping the hand that lay between the two of you. Rhaenyra instantly threaded her fingers through yours and you spied a small smile making its way to her face.

Once she pulled up in front of your apartment building Rhaenyra bit her lip and turned to look at you - still completely in awe of how pretty you are.

“We arrived.”

“That we did.”

“Well…”

“Well… do you uh-”

“Do I what?” Rhaenyra said as she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Rhae… I- do you want to come up?”

“Only if we can have a date tomorrow.”

“It’s Christmas Day.”

“I’ll think of something.”

“Hmm… deal.” You said as a giddy smile graced your lips. Suddenly the feeling of soft lips meeting against yours startled you out of your reverie and you jumped to thread your fingers through her silky hair.

“You are so beautiful.” Rhaenyra mumbled against your lips before slipping her tongue to delicately stroke yours. It seemed impossible that your smile could widen even more but it did.

“Mmm, says you. You fucking goddess.” You said when you both finally pulled away. Panting and grinning like idiots.

“This is certainly turning out to be a very merry Christmas.”

“Ho ho ho.”

rhaenyra is an bisexual icon just like her uncle and we love her for it !!

[jackie5656]

I’ve Got My Love To Keep Me Warm With; Anthony Lockwood

A/N: HEYYYYY. Well if it isn't another six-month hiatus...I fear I've done this too many times to keep apologizing. There are some long-overdue requests in my inbox, and for that I truly am sorry. With college, work, family, I'm not sure how you guys keep up with finding the time or motivation to write. Nonetheless, I just recently re-watched this amazing show, and I'm yet again horrified Netflix canceled it. I put a holiday spin on this and I hope you all like it!

CW: Characters are aged up. I wouldn't be comfortable w/ this if they were played by minors but that's not the case. Let's also pretend ppl don't typically lose their gift til their mid-20s

You're getting ready on the floor of 35 Portland Row's master bedroom. Makeup is littered all around you as you add the finishing touches. The smell of cookies flows from the kitchen all throughout your home, ones you'll decorate later upon Lucy's request. Christmas music sounds from the record player in the living room, crackling every now and again with its age.

Lockwood's leant up against the door frame, moving silently to the worn armchair across you. You can feel his eyes on you, quietly admiring, yet still brooding from a recent look at the newspaper. Kipps and his team were beaming brightly across the front page, having just solved yet another notary case on behalf of Fittes.

"I've told you not to read the papers on our day off, haven't I?" He's pulled out of his trance then, adjusting his slouched shoulders as though he's been caught.

"A bunch of posh showoffs, think their ridiculous uniforms and bureaucratic nonsense makes them superior. I swear-"

"Anthony."

"Yes, darling?" It's through clenched teeth, blinking hard to regain his composure. You brush on your mascara, still chastising when you face the mirror once more.

"It's our day off, isn't it?"

"Because we have yet to find another case-" He stops himself under your look of warning through the glass, fiddling with his rings and straightening. "I suppose it is our day off, yes."

"We don't have much of those, do we?" You approach him, then. Voice soft and sweet, unknowingly easing his tense stature with each syllable. He only hums, forehead pressing into your stomach as you run gentle fingers through his hair, careful not to disrupt the intricately combed strands. "We need this. You need this. So let's make it a good one, yeah?"

"Tell that to George. Why must we do the holiday card today?"

"We're all available, Scrooge. And if I'm not mistaken, this was your idea. Something along the lines of 'it's good for business, people are seeking a company with a personable image, clients need people to relate to-" You only stop your mimicking when he pinches at your side. The overly-posh, deep reenactment enough to bring a reluctant smirk to Anthony's lips.

"I do not sound like that." He tugs at your hips so you'll sit on the arm of the chair he's rested in, keeping an arm wrapped over your stomach and knees to settle you against him.

"Bunch of bureaucratic-" Your own yelp ceases your teasing, the arm that's snaked around you tugging hard enough to have you fall into his lap and victim to his incessant poking at your stomach and sides. Your squirming is no use, both of your laughter echoing throughout the room as you hopelessly swat at his hands.

He stops his torture eventually, avoiding an oncoming lecture on how he's ruined your neatly done hair with his tickling. You're breathless under him, stretching out over him to glance at the other mirror just above the dresser. Even with the reflection upside down, you're able to tell you'll have to redo multiple curls. He's grabbing at you before you can scold him, hand under your head to pull your faces just inches apart.

"Stop it. You look lovely." He's pulling out the charm, of course. Voice low and hoarse, the tone that he knows damn well well sets your skin on fire. He's smug then, knowing smirk playing over his dark features as his eyes dart to your lips and then to yours.

"Looked lovely." You correct, breathless all over again. His eyes narrow, incredulous.

"Can I prove it to you?" He moves only slightly closer, swallowing thickly as his thumb traces your bottom lip. You almost let him, nearly succumbing to his enchantments. Only when his lips are nearly on yours do you turn your head, keen on revenge for his sabotage.

"You've already toyed with my hair, I'll send George spiraling if I had to redo my makeup."

Lockwood, genuine betrayal littered across his face, can't even plead his case before your roommate takes his cue.

"Oi!" His shout rings from downstairs, tinged with impatience and growing irritation. "You two better be fully clothed and picture-perfect in five minutes. The camera's ready!"

Anthony can only bury his face in your neck, sore attitude overcoming him all over again.

****

"Wait!" Lucy exclaims just as the flash of the camera ensues, voice strained with exasperation. "I wasn't ready!" There's a collective groan from the lot of you, George shuffling past the redhead to reset the camera. You take the time to fix Lockwood's collar, dodging his swatting, grumpy hands.

"I assume ghost touch is a more amenable torture than this," he mutters pointedly.

"You wanted the bloody holiday card, Lockwood. And I'm the only one with enough creative vision to make the lot of you look remotely presentable." There's a collective sneer toward him, though he doesn't notice with all his tinkering with the outdated lense. Of course, George had insisted using film would make the photos hold a 'certain sense of novelty' that couldn't possibly be reproduced with less difficult equipment. "Take five, this might take a while." He waves you all off, adjusting his glasses and muttering a string of unintelligible curses as he works.

Lucy turns to you then, biting back a smile as Lockwood flushes under your doting hands, trying desperately to maintain his grouchy disposition. "Where's your chapstick, the strawberry one-"

"You always steal?" You cease grooming your boyfriend, to his relief, in order to tease her. Smiling when she only sticks out her tongue in mock disdain, already headed for the stairs and presumably your bedroom. "Right side of the bureau, just above Anthony's sock drawer." Your tone grows into a shout to accommodate her distance, grabbing onto Lockwood's wrist so he can't escape away to the study.

"Love you lots!" She calls from upstairs, most definitely making more of a mess of the bedroom in her search.

"Would you unhand me, dove? Pretty sure you're cutting circulation." He's got your attention again, face pulled with irritation. The bags under his eyes look particularly apparent this close, a dull ache in your heart at the sight. It's apparent the attitude is only due to all the stress he puts himself under. The pet name a clear sign the animosity is by no means directed at you. You smirk despite him, digging into your back pocket and ignoring his then curious expression.

Only when you get closer does he catch on. Socked feet clumsily stepping on his boot-covered ones to attempt to gain height, your arm reaches up above both your heads. Letting his eyes follow yours, Anthony can't help but let a dazzling smile spread across his features. Stubborn nature no match against the warmth and adoration overcoming him at the slightly crumpled branch above him.

"Is that-"

"Yep." You mutter, straining under the effort to reach above his head. His gaze is on your face then, arm snaking around the smalll of your back to keep you steady. "You're supposed to-"

"Oh, I know. But I'm having so much fun watching this." A small pout puckers your lip at his teasing, tone filled with the familiar mirth and smugness you hadn't known you missed so much with his solemn mood.

"Forget it then, Grinch." Your reaching arm falls to your side, attempting to push at his chest to force distance between you.

The camera flashes just as Anthony pulls you in for a kiss. Soft and sweet, each of you eventually smiling into it.

"I'm not developing that one." George frowns, adjusting the lens before shooting a pointed look to Lockwood, who loosens his hold only slightly on you. "You've got shade 205 right here, mate." The curly-haired boy draws an imaginary circle around the entirety of his mouth. Anthony scrubs his sleeve across his face at George's comments. Flushing as you laugh into his chest.

Taglist: @sunshineangel-reads

[annab-nana]

Hi Anna!🥺 I have a request for your winter wonderland sleepover🥺

Scenario: told parents about SO and now you have to rope someone into it for the holiday with Eddie🥺🥺

please i love this request sooo much!!

warnings: not proofread

❀ masterlist ❀

why?

that was the only question you could ask yourself as you hung up the phone.

why?

why in the world did i do that?

why did i say that?

you had to talk this out with someone and there was only one person who could help you make sense of this. so, you got in your car and drove to the trailer park.

"hey- woah," eddie started to greet you when he opened the door, but you were on a mission, beelining it to his bedroom. he just shut the door and followed you there. when he passed through the doorway into his room, he saw you lying on your back on his bed with your hands covering your face.

being your best friend, he could normally sense if the issue at hand was a more serious one or a dramatized one. today, he was picking up the vibe that it was the latter, so he crawled into bed beside you and copied your actions.

"why are we laying here like this?" he asked out loud, his voice muffled by his own hands.

when you responded, he couldn't make out many of the words you'd said. "can you repeat that? i only got because, christmas, and parents."

you lifted your palms up off your mouth but kept your eyes hidden by your fingers. "because i'm an idiot. i didn't want my family nagging me again about not having a boyfriend yet, so i told them there is someone when there isn't so now, i have to find someone in the next two weeks or show up at my parents' house with no one and get interrogated even more so than i would've if i had just kept my mouth shut."

once done with your explanation, you let your palms drop back down over your mouth and groaned into them. your body rolled over onto your stomach and closer to eddie. he moved onto his side and brought his hand to your back.

"hey," he started softly while rubbing between your shoulder blades in a comforting manner. "i'm sure it'll work itself out. how many times have you gotten yourself into something and figured a way out? too many to count, so i don't doubt you'll do it again."

suddenly, you lifted your head out of your hands and looked at him, a mischievous glint in your eye.

"that's your not-very-good-idea face," eddie commented. "i'm a little worried."

"i don't know what you're talking about. i only come up with great ideas and i've got another right now. but, it'll take some convincing."

"just spit it out already."

"you love me, don't you, eddie?"

"okay, now you're scaring me."

"well, i was thinking you could step in and be my fake boyfriend for the holidays, just to get my family off my back, you know. you don't have to kiss me or anything. at most, you'll have to hold my hand or kiss my forehead or be close to me. but, it's perfect because you know me so well already. we'll just have to come up with a backstory. eddie, i'll do whatever to make it up to you whether that be do your laundry, help with d and d stuff, do your homework, whatever, but pleas-"

eddie cut you off. "i'll do it."

you weren't expecting it to be that easy. "really?"

"yeah, why not? wayne's working on christmas so i'm free anyway and based on the stories you tell, i've always wanted to meet your uncle charlie. i get something to do on christmas and get to hang with my best friend. i would've said yes before the whole speech, but now that i know i can get some stuff out of you, i might cash in some of those favors later."

you jumped to wrap your arms around him. "oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, eddie! you don't know how much a relief this is."

"yeah," eddie spoke, trying to ignore the way his heart was racing. that was the one thing he forgot about before agreeing to this whole thing. it was going to be hard to keep his crush on you hidden, but for you, he would risk it all. "no problem."

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tag list: @fiction-is-life @jellyfishbeansontoast

[cafeseoulmate]

Why We (Don’t) Work

i'm okay with being by your side for as long as i can hide what if i told you that i've fallen?

featuring: music major!beomgyu x fine arts major!gn!reader

genre: fluff, angst, childhood best friends to lovers, neighbors to lovers au, idiots to lovers au, high school au, college au, band au, hurt/comfort, slice of life, slowburn, mutual pining, 5+1 & nonlinear format

wc: 13k

warnings and other notes: cursing, alcohol consumption, reader is implied bi/pan, two jokes about murder, mention of the flu, brief mention of making out, cliches, inaccurate portrayal of a painting & sculpture double major, idk where this was going tbh

I. WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR TOO LONG

The idea of friends eventually becoming lovers, especially those who have known each other for a long time, is okay in your opinion. In theory, the principle of falling in love with someone whom you've previously built a relationship with is not that great but not that awful either.

It's reasonable, practical and natural even in many situations. You would know from the amount of friends you've watched over the years who only started seeing each other romantically after a few years of getting to know and being comfortable around each other platonically.

You just figure that it's not for you and Choi Beomgyu, the nuisance who's been affectionately stuck to your hip since your days at the neighborhood playground.

For starters, you've known him for far too long. Not that love is supposed to have an expiration date, it's just that most people who start off friends—like your college friends Yeji and Ryujin who started dating before your junior year—usually take less than a decade, and that is really pushing it in your humble opinion.

Beomgyu's known you since the time you were sporting bowl cuts your mom fashioned with your kitchen scissors, probably and unconsciously even longer than that given that your respective moms have also been close friends since you were toddlers. You've pushed each other at the swings and the slides more than any of your other childhood friends, have gone to the same schools together spent most of your non-holidays with each other since kindergarten, and even live in the same university dorm at the present.

You both had almost 16 years to bring up anything remotely close to romantic feelings with each other and the closest to romantic-leaning affection that you got from him was the time he gave you a bouquet of roses, and he didn't even buy it for you originally.

It was in your 10th grade, when Valentine's Day gifts have finally reached normal status among the consciousness of your teen peers. Since Halloween, Beomgyu had been saving up his money to buy Yeeun from Class 4 a bouquet of roses—bribing you to pay for his lunch two out of five days in the week, singing and dancing his ass off at his family's Christmas and Lunar New Year parties for money, and working the afternoon shift at the neighborhood guitar store—only to chicken out at the last minute because Jaehyun from Class 6 had asked Yeeun to be his girlfriend in a very public proposal at the soccer field.

In a small class reunion last Christmas, Taehyun had asked about the whole ordeal, supported by the drunk cheerings of your former classmates at the memory of Beomgyu handing you the abnormally large bouquet by the school gate during dismissal almost five years ago.

"What else do you want to know about that?" You asked with a frown, feeling light-headed from all the barbecue and soju yourself. It was finals week for most of you as well, somehow making all the shots of peach-flavored alcohol taste sweeter and the stories bitterer. "You all know how it went: Gyu chickened out and didn't want to waste his hard-earned money on a girl who got a boyfriend that same day so he gave it to me before we went home."

"You also gave me half of the money to buy it! That's also an important detail!" Beomgyu slurred out to your right, leaning his head on your arm with a giggle and making you roll your eyes. "I thought, 'ya, this person bought me lunch for three months they kind of bought this bouquet so I'll just give it to them. That's only fair!'"

Yunjin raised a finger this time, as if making a shushing motion in the air as she took a long sip of her soju bottle across the table. "Okay but!" She exclaimed after slamming her bottle down, momentarily covering her mouth as she hiccuped before continuing. "You...you could've just gave it to your mom or something!"

"Auntie's allergic to flowers." You pointed out. "My dad also forgot to buy my mom flowers that time so I gave it to him when I got home. I technically saved two lives that day.”

"So it didn't spark anything?" Jeongin pointed to you then to Beomgyu who was contemplating on falling asleep on you by that point, clearly uninterested in this conversation you've had with the rest of the world a million times already. "Not even a little bit?"

Of course there were times over the years, at least on your part—moments where Beomgyu spent an hour too long in your childhood home when he just told you that his parents wanted him to come home at a certain time, filled a day with questionably sweet gestures only to bribe you with trouble after, or comforted you too well in your darkest moments among others that made your heart flutter more than it's supposed to.

You never told anyone about how on that day, you plucked out a single rose from the bouquet before secretly handing it to your dad as he cooked a quick Valentine's Day dinner for your mom. There was no denying that, even if he gave it to you under pitiful circumstances, it was still a sweet gesture. After Yeeun, he thought of giving it to you, the next immediate person and his best friend.

The red rose drank fresh water by your windowsill for three days until Beomgyu invited himself over for a cram session when you ended up hiding the flower shamefully under your bed and convincing yourself that you were just momentarily blinded by the principle of the gesture.

Though it accidentally wilted after you've forgotten about it amidst your busy high school schedule, you still keep the petals in a box under your bed as a reminder of all those moments you've thought you were starting to feel something for your best friend, only to snap yourself out of it after. You even had one of the petals made into a resin necklace by Yeji when she picked up on the hobby, wearing it everyday since without Beomgyu ever asking about it’s significance.

He just thinks you got it from the congratulatory bouquet the boys all pitched in to give when you won a sculpting competition at the university museum.

But as mentioned, you've mostly come to terms with the fact that you've known Beomgyu long enough to let a lot of opportunities to pass by, even if it pains you. Though romantic love doesn’t have to have an expiration date, you think you’ve been around your best friend long enough to know and accept that nothing is going to happen.

So to keep up appearances, you shook your head in front of your demanding friends that night at the reunion and teasingly pushed the sleeping Beomgyu to Taehyun's shoulder, much to everyone's disappointment.

"I've known him for all my life, literally. If something remotely romantic were to happen, it should've happened years ago." You grimaced before downing another shot of peach soju, that particular shot stinging a bit too much for your liking.

"But that's, like, the tricky thing with friends: you never really know when things are starting to be something else with one or both people." Sieun pointed out with a pout.

"Oh, I can assure you, it's not like that with us." You waved your hand dismissively in response before quickly going back to gathering your next mouthful of lettuce wrap. “Anyway, you guys have known us pretty well too. We just don’t match that way.”

Next to you, Beomgyu groaned seemingly in agreement as he stirred on Taehyun's shoulder, moving to lean on you again. "You're all so fucking noisy." He mumbled on the nook of your neck, hands encircling around your waist as he then pointed at the jug of water on the table. “If Y/N says it's not like that then it's not like that. So let me sleep and let Y/N eat their food!"

You shrugged at Sieun and Yunjin, smoothly shifting the conversation's focus to Sieun after before filling in a glass of water for Beomgyu as he’s requested.

"You're going to have a nasty hangover later, you know." You pointed out to him, making sure to keep your voice low knowing that he's sensitive to noise when he's drunk.

"You'll take care of me." He replied confidently with a boyish grin, more as a statement than a question. "Can I sleep over your dorm later? Hyuka won't let me in the room like this and Ryujin's already on vacation anyway."

You then rolled your eyes, knowing full well that you don’t have a choice anyway. "Sure, sure."

II. WE HAVE SHIT TASTE IN PEOPLE (AND IT WOULD BE AN INSULT TO OURSELVES IF WE START LIKING EACH OTHER)

The first time someone directly and publicly questioned Beomgyu's relationship with you, however, was at the traditional secret gathering your classmates had arranged in your two-day senior retreat just four years ago. On that night, after a whole day of tedious team-building activities and an evening of getting lectured by your teachers on house rules, most of Class 2 gathered at the boys' shared room for swiped alcohol and midnight snacks.

At that time, it was Daehwi who had asked and the context was the equally traditional game of truth or dare. When Beomgyu was picked for the second time that night, he surprisingly chose truth, prompting the question everyone has apparently been asking among themselves.

"Would you date Y/N?"

Beomgyu laughed. It was always his instinct to laugh whenever his own relatives asked the same question or when you would tell your own similar experiences but also because he saw you throwing your head back in laughter as well from where you were seated between Yunjin and Ryujin.

But what really solidifies this question as an inside joke between the two of you was the time when you watched When Harry Met Sally together at a sleepover in Beomgyu's house a year before the class retreat.

It was the classic friends to lovers romcom that you ended up watching in that particular sleepover in the first place because Yunjin mentioned that it reminded her of you and Beomgyu. So of course it had to be brought up before you could accidentally fall asleep on Beomgyu that night, you pointing to Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan before smacking Beomgyu in the head and asking the exact same question the boy would face at the senior retreat.

"Without thinking about all the gross couple shit like kissing or whatever," You gagged between your question, making Beomgyu roll his eyes and scoff. "would you date me?"

"First of all: gross—"

"That's why I said without all the couple stuff!"

"Still gross! Why would you think of that question!"

Back to the class retreat, once Beomgyu had calmed down from laughing and before Jeongin or Hueningkai could start leading the teasing on how you and your best friend reacted to the question in the same way at the same time, he said, "Y/N has shit taste in people. It'd be an insult to myself if they start liking me, even more if we do date."

You laughed even harder, repeating the words back to him. "Ya, you have shit taste in people too!"

Daehwi almost did a whole spit take with his glass of Cola while hearing your exchange. "Damn, you two are brutal with each other!"

Taehyun told Beomgyu later on that he felt as if that particular answer could be misinterpreted as the latter being mean to you. But your best friend was quick to explain that it's something you actually talked about in the aforementioned sleepover. You also backed him up on this over breakfast the next day when you sat with the two boys.

On the night of your sleepover, after you asked the question and Beomgyu was done making his teasing disgusted faces in front of you, he had said the exact same words for the first time and even elaborated on it.

And like Daehwi, you also almost did a spit take hearing it for the first time but your own glass of hot chocolate.

"You had a crush on Yeonjun two years ago before he was cool and you dated that annoying what's-her-name from the softball team who, by the way, cheated on you before you could even celebrate 100 days." The blunt 11th-grader Beomgyu said in front of your surprised face on that sleepover. "Ah, and don't get me started on that time you were swooning over that asshole Taejoon from Class 7 last semester because he sat next to you on the bus when I got the flu? You were crushing on a guy who thought he was jack shit and played with a lot of girls while I was almost dying in the hospital! Shit taste and inconsiderate!"

You and Beomgyu also did not forget to mention to Taehyun about how you almost smothered Beomgyu to death with a pillow in response, pausing the movie so Meg Ryan didn't have to see the crime you were about to do before tackling your best friend on the bed.

"Hey, Yeonjun's cool and Minji from softball really is an asshole but I didn't know Taejoon had a reputation in Class 7 back then! I just thought he was cute and really polite to the old ladies and the kids on the bus!" You retorted aggressively, smacking Beomgyu's face repeatedly with the Hello Kitty pillow he lent you for that night. "And I visited you with the boys and Yunjin after school while you were sick to catch you up in class, you ungrateful brat! I have shit taste but I'll never be inconsiderate to you!

"While we're at it, you also have shit taste, mind you! Pining after girls like Yeeun and Rina right when they start dating other people! Ah, and you dated that girl, Areum, in the 9th grade too even when everyone kept telling you that she was trying to get to Soobin through you! Shit taste and idiotic!"

Your college years would not spare the both of you from having more strings of failed romantic relationships just as much as it did not stop all the questions from friends, both new and old, about Beomgyu's relationship with you so the answer always remained the same: both of you have shit taste in people so dating each other would be somehow insults to yourselves.

But there are times, of course, when it would just be you and Beomgyu alone and, instead of the usual jokes and banter, he allows himself to be just slightly honest for the sake of his sanity and to make sure that you never feel as if he has some hidden ill-intent in always jokingly bringing up the uglier sides of your dating history.

In another sleepover at his house last summer, he didn't fight you when you decide on watching My Best Friend's Wedding and blurted out halfway, "As your own best friend, I think you deserve the best."

Though no one did a spit take this time, you did momentarily freeze while trying to tuck yourself in under the weighted blanket you were sharing. On his laptop perched comfortably on a foldable table, the movie was coincidentally at the part where Julia Roberts was delivering the iconic, "Choose Me” speech.

“I'll have to say this quick or I'm just going to have this massive coronary and then you'll never hear it and.....and....you have to. This is, by far the dumbest thing I've ever done in my entire life.” Julia Roberts dramatically delivered on the laptop screen as if filling in the silence. “Ugh—so dumb in fact—uh—that I can't...... oh but I'm gonna.”

“What’s wrong?” Her male lead, Dermont Mulroney, asked and Beomgyu felt like he should be asking that question to you when your silence started dragging on for too long.

When you did regain your composure, you chuckled nervously. "I-I mean yeah, I know, but...what's with that all of a sudden?" You furrowed your brows up at him.

And like he was mirroring you, Beomgyu also paused for a moment as he too contemplated on why he said it out of nowhere.

Meanwhile, Julia Roberts just continued delivering her lines flawlessly, filling in the silence between the two of you. “Michael......I love you. I've loved you for nine years. I've just been too arrogant and scared to realize it and, well, now I'm just scared. So I, I......realize that this comes at a very inopportune time. But I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you.” Though the sound coming in on your respective earphones was only at 75%, suddenly it felt louder the longer that Beomgyu didn't speak. “Choose me? Marry me. Let me make you happy.”

Beomgyu scratched the nape of his neck and smiled sheepishly, turning away for a second as you finally pause the movie and the light illuminates the side of his face a little too brightly.

“Oh God, please don’t tell me you’re gonna pull a Julia Roberts right now. You know—“

“What? No!"

“Then answer the question!”

"I just remembered, you know, how we always say that we won't date each other because we both have shitty taste in people and everything." He shrugged when he did explain himself, unconsciously sinking lower on the bed as he pressed his back harder on the bed frame behind you. "And I know it's a joke and all but I—I also think that you deserve better than someone like me...or Yeonjun, Soobin, Tae, and Hyuka.

“Though I guess it is hard to find someone better than us, especially me and Soobin, I think you should still look for someone who’s really kind, smart, and will never give you a hard time. You deserve someone who looks out for you and makes you feel like home but also like you’re flying.

“Someone who’s funny too but not too funny to upstage me! Just enough to get you through the dark times because you do get really stressed out these days. I—I don’t know, I guess I was just thinking about—about that, yeah…”

You relaxed your expression as he spoke, though a small pout remained. "Okay..." You pressed play on the laptop again with a laugh. "Random but okay.”

“I give my whole heart out to you in a speech and that’s all you have to say?”

“What else do you want me to say?” You scoffed and playfully nudged him away, earning you a dramatic wince from him. "With how you generally act around people I like, it's not that hard to figure out that it's because you think this way."

“Yeah but, I don’t know, maybe say it back to me too and comfort my lonely, lonely heart?” He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in response.

“I think that’s a you problem. We all tell you to just get yourself out there then you reject every person who throws themself at you.”

The boy feigned a glare next. “I’m going to kill you in your sleep later.”

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes, moving carefully on the bed to face him fully. “You deserve someone infinitely better than me too. Someone gorgeous—not just pretty!—and smart enough to keep your dumbass in check and just overall awesome, but not too awesome, of course! I’m literally the coolest person you’ll ever meet…ever!”

"Oh you flatter me, Y/N!" He exclaimed dramatically with his hands to his chest, smiling when you snorted and turned your attention back to the laptop again to press play on the movie.

Though he partly thinks otherwise—that it’s impossible that there’s someone out there infinitely better than you overall—he does agree that you are the coolest person in his life.

"You're so annoying." You mumbled under your breath and he quickly retaliated by pinching your cheek affectionately. "Ya!"

"You love me."

"I know right, how will I even find someone better than you?" You teased but Beomgyu's observant enough to understand that you only mean it halfway.

"Maybe you won't?" He teased back with a wink. "I know for sure no one's better than you."

"Shut up."

III. WE ARE EXTREME OPPOSITES (AND WE ANNOY EACH OTHER A LOT)

If you were to be asked about the things that annoy you about Beomgyu and vice versa, you both would probably need a month of preparation and a year each just to list everything you've come up with. Sure, you’ve known each other for a long enough time to be comfortable in each other’s presence but that doesn’t make everyday perfect as there are still instances when you get the undeniable urge to smack him in the head or dropkick him for being insufferable.

If you were to make a top five shortlist, however, the fact that Beomgyu has no concept of personal space when it comes to you would take the cake—pinching your cheeks, holding your hand whenever a remotely attractive person passes you by, always putting his legs on top of yours, hugging you to death, and always headlocking you when you meet up among others.

But beyond that, ever since he got comfortable with initiating skinship with you around the 3rd grade, he's also somehow managed to convince himself that he had the right to be all up in your personal business too even when you didn't want him to—from simple things like stealing your food, spamming you with messages the second you don't reply as quickly as he'd like, to always having insisting that he accompanies you whenever you mention going to a new place, online stalking anyone you find interesting, randomly popping up at the studio in the Fine Arts department, and loosely keeping tabs on people you hang out with.

There have been times, however, when Beomgyu’s nosiness has actually saved you from a date or unwanted attention in public and even comforted you. In elementary and high school, whenever you’re allowed to pick groupmates, he’s always ready with gossip about everyone’s work ethic for some reason. Whenever a creep at the mall or at a party would try to hit on you, he’s always by your side ready with a glare and all intent to report the creep to the authorities. And even when he’s a shit drunk, he’s always aware enough to defend you whenever your friends pick on you.

But more importantly, as the more reserved person between the two of you, Beomgyu’s always the one who’s forcing you to open up to at least one person when you’re down (aka him).

The first sleepover that the two of you ever had was in the 6th grade when Beomgyu invited himself over to your house and stayed up with you until 3 AM to finish a Science project your three other groupmates basically gave up on. You never asked him to do it, just complained about it over lunch once, then suddenly he was barging in your house with his own stationary and your Science teacher already notified of how your groupmates have been slacking the past two weeks.

“Why did you do that?” You pouted after turning in your finished paper online. Fortunately for the two of you that time, it was a Friday and sleeping in wasn’t going to be an issue, especially for 6th grader Beomgyu who had the tendency to sleep the whole day. “I could’ve just told Mrs. Kim on Monday myself.”

Beomgyu shrugged as he fluffed the pillows and arranged your plushies on the bed. He hasn’t had his sudden growth spurt at that time so fitting in your old bed frame was still fairly easy then. “Knowing you and how long your groupmates have been bailing on you, you’d probably chicken out if Yunjin or I don’t do it ourselves or push you to do it.”

“No—“

“You know I’m right.“

You glared at him then, standing up from your desk to punch his arm. “I hate you.”

But he only rolled his eyes. “Then next time, I’ll try to not meddle that much anymore. Just…when our classmates are taking advantage of your kindness like this again, report it immediately, okay?” He nagged, his voice soft while his expression was determined. “Even if you don’t tell me directly, I know you’ve been having a hard time with that even more this year for some reason and, knowing you, you’d rather suck it up because you think you’re bothering people when you bring it up when you’re not.”

“That’s not true.”

“Y/N.” He squinted his eyes and pursed his lips.

You scoffed, climbing in the bed and laying down on the side next to the wall. “Okay, maybe sometimes it’s true.”

“Y/N.” He repeated your name in the same tone, lying next to you with your teddy bear in his arms. "Ms. Fluffy doesn't think so and I kind of agree with her."

You rolled your eyes in response, Beomgyu catching the gesture before he could turn off your bedside lamp. “Fine, fine. I admit it, I wasn’t—I wasn’t planning to tell Mrs. Kim because I thought my groupmates would get mad and think of me as a nuisance.” You winced at the admission, lifting your blanket up to your nose.

But Beomgyu was quick to stop your hand, flicking your forehead after. “Stop doing that. You literally did half of your paper, even the parts you weren’t assigned to. You’re far from a nuisance.” He retorted, tucking Ms. Fluffy the teddy bear next to you. “And Mrs. Kim’s job is literally to make sure we’re not having a hard time learning, she’d understand.”

That time, and most times when Beomgyu would be the one nagging you, you felt like shrinking under his fierce gaze. “I don’t want to get into trouble with anyone in class—“

“I’d fight anyone off for you if that happens."

“But I can handle myself if ever!”

“Now, you’re just contradicting yourself.” He pointed out with a chuckle, settling down next to you. “Just...next time, okay? You should never suffer in silence by choice, you’re better than that.”

You had no choice but to nod in agreement and fulfill your promise that very next Monday, talking to Mrs. Kim yourself to elaborate on the incident further with Beomgyu holding your hand the entire time.

Most of the time, it's sweet and thoughtful that your best friend looks out for you out of genuine concern. You can’t admit it to his face, knowing he’ll tease you endlessly for it, but you like Beomgyu having his full attention on you most of the time and how he can literally rival your family as the person who knows you best.

But alas, there are still numerous instances when it's caused you more harm than good to disastrous levels.

At the top of your head, there was that incident in the summer before your sophomore year when Yeji first set you up on a blind date with Theo, a friend of a friend from the Vocal Performance department.

You even made sure that Beomgyu wouldn't get anywhere near your bowling date, threatening all of your mutual friends to keep the agenda a secret over message (and free food for Taehyun and Hueningkai) and scheduling the date on the same weekend Beomgyu was going to take an exam for one of his summer classes.

However, when Theo briefly left you alone in your lane to buy snacks, a familiar mop of brown hair, black hoodie, and a pair of thick-rimmed glasses suddenly whooshed in your peripheral vision, followed by two figures in hoodies you unmasked at the end of the night as Yeonjun and Soobin.

Another annoying thing that Beomgyu does is that when he’s “investigating” something—whether it’s a friend’s date or that time everyone thought Taehyun was secretly seeing someone—he always brings the same get-up of hoodie and thick-rimmed glasses along as "disguise." It's a stupid idea that first came to him when Yunjin went on her very first date in high school that he never bothered to change even when everyone started catching on, making it easier to spot him in your surroundings.

Though he didn't approach you until you approached him back in your dorms, it was still unnerving to spot him, Yeonjun, and Soobin playing five lanes away from you and your date. Their glances felt heavy on your back as the night went on.

"He was literally in two of your classes last semester. It's not like he's some stranger to you." You frowned at Beomgyu after letting Yeonjun and Soobin go with an earful of a speech of their own. Though you and Theo agreed that you clicked better as friends, you still lectured and nagged at your three friends in your dorm's communal kitchen with Beomgyu staying an hour longer than the other two. "How did you even get to the bowling alley? I thought you have an exam tonight?"

"My exam was only until 7 PM so I got Yeonjun to drive us to the bowling alley as soon as I got out. It was a celebratory thing for me too! That English final really kicked me in the ass, if you must know." Beomgyu answered with a pout, hands deep in his hoodie pockets and his glasses slipping on his nose. "And even if I do know Theo in passing, I don't know him that way. He’s more Yeji’s friend than mine. What if he was a shit dude when it comes to dates? What if he stood you up tonight or something?"

"You say that for all the people I like."

Beomgyu waved his hand dismissively in defense. "I only say that to the objectively trashy ones and the ones I don’t know enough about. Theo’s under the second category.”

"Still! You get what I mean!" You frowned as you smacked him on the back of his head, earning you a wince from him. "Gyu, once, just one date where you leave me alone. No disguises and no spam texts. Can you do that?"

There's a long pause that followed after with Beomgyu opening his mouth a couple of times only to close it back again, keeping you on edge for what felt like forever but was only for around five minutes.

He never told you what he was going to say at first or if he was even thinking of something else to say, you can just easily infer that it's different from what he actually ended up saying with the way his expression softened right before he finally spoke.

"Only if you tell me more about these things before you actually go on them. Even just the basic things are fine.” He frowned this time, crossing his arms. Even without you scanning every inch of his face, his expression easily gave away to the fact that he was thinking of saying something else but was trying his best to hold back. “I’m...I'm worried, okay? I don’t want you getting in trouble.”

"You know I can handle myself. We've been through this hundreds of times, I'm not that kid from the 4th grade who couldn't tell on my shit groupmates." You interjected, crossing your arms in front of the taller boy. "Anyway, if I ever need help, you're always the first one I'll call, you already know that."

He pouted down at you. "Sure?"

And you nodded with a laugh at his ridiculous expression, uncrossing your arms as you couldn't fight the amusement creeping up on you whenever Beomgyu tries to act cute anymore. "Positive."

So on the next two blind dates that Yeji set up for you that summer, you were pretty sure that Beomgyu only kept tabs on you through text as the hoodie and glasses were nowhere to be seen when you and your dates went out.

♡

On Beomgyu’s end, if he were to pick a top one habit of yours that he finds the most annoying it would be your tendency to hide your artworks from him until it’s finished when he’s always showing you his drafts.

Much like how you often try hiding your burdens, troubles, and blind dates from him, you often ban Beomgyu from seeing your drafts and sketches until the work itself is done which, as a fellow artist, makes him want to sneak up on you even more.

Especially when you think that you’ll be working on a particular project for a long time or if it’s in a medium you haven’t tried before, you’d often be blocking Beomgyu from seeing a peek of your plans out of a weird superstition that you might not finish anything if you hear a comment from him too early.

As your musician best friend who’s always showing you his own work even when it’s still disjointed lyrics and melodies in his head, Beomgyu sometimes thinks that you don’t trust him enough in something important as your own art. Without you knowing, it hurts him a bit sometimes because it’s as if he can’t be useful for you in that sense when you're always his most trusted critic when it comes to his music.

“It’s not like I can possibly make a bad comment.” Beomgyu insisted sometime during midterms as you talked over your senior thesis projects over dinner. It was almost 2 AM in your dorm’s communal kitchen, your mugs only half-filled with lukewarm chocolate when the boy asked if he could take a peek at your sketchbook after letting you hear some of his new music. “With you and your art? Impossible to make any bad comments I’m telling you!”

“Eh, but—“ Maybe it was the tiredness from having been up for 24 hours straight, trying to stay on top of your piling requirements, that unlike your usual response to Beomgyu’s pouting and puppy eyes, you decided to blurt out, “I just—I don’t know…I think too highly of your opinion.”

Beomgyu was effectively rendered frozen and speechless, missing the way you slouched your shoulders and hid your face behind your hair after your confession. “I—what?”

“Don’t make me repeat it.” You deadpanned, taking another sip of your chocolate next to him. At least with your shoulders touching, you couldn't see the way his expression unconsciously softened while listening to you. "It's already embarrassing enough as it is."

“But…but why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you think highly of my opinion? It’s just me.” Beomgyu chuckled nervously, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment as he spoke. “Not like I’m a professional artist or whatever.”

“Do I really have to say it?”

Beomgyu nodded, pursing his lips. "I'm being serious right now." He pretended to squint his eyes and furrow his brows and you rolled your eyes in response.

With a sigh, you then answered. “It’s exactly because you’re you. You’re Choi Beomgyu, the annoying kid from the neighborhood who just decided one day that he’d join me at the plastic tables in the playground when he saw me drawing flowers on my mom's notepad. The one who bought me my first oil paint set for Christmas in the 7th grade because he said he noticed how much I enjoyed it in our Art class. The one who always adds more compliments to my work along with actually helpful feedback even when I ask for criticisms only because he’s too nice for his own good but he’s also very intuitive.

“You…annoying as it is, you’re kind of very important in my art and it makes me nervous sometimes to show you anything before it’s complete because I think it has to be perfect and totally not disappointing even when you first see it. I only want you to see good things from me...”

While the silence that followed felt like an hour for you, it felt like forever in Beomgyu's mind as his thoughts flew to the memories as you mentioned them.

Much like you, he can also vividly remember how exactly you befriended each other at the playground then, when he complimented your doodle of the daisy bushes by the swings because you drew them a little too well for a five-year-old with broken crayons and an unsharpened pencil. You even complained to him that you can render the flowers better if you just didn't forget your sharpener at home, leading to a whole conversation that you continued at the swings where he offered to push you for the rest of that afternoon.

He remembers that 7th grade Christmas when he picked your name for the class Secret Santa and didn't even have to read more on the wishlist below your name because he was already set on buying you an oil paint set and some brushes to go with it outside of the classroom. He knew you were saving up to buy it in the summer yourself but he also knew that it'd make you even happier to get it six months earlier so it was easy for him to take money from his own savings that were supposed to go on a new ukulele.

But more importantly, his mind lingers to a memory you didn't mention, to that day outside of the teacher's lounge when you were first filling in your college applications. While your other friends were talking animatedly about what they were planning to do after your high school graduation, you were unusually quiet next to Beomgyu as you filled out your application which quickly prompted him to ask if you were okay.

"What did you put in your program?" He had asked after, leaning his head on your shoulder only for you to cover the top half of your application with your hands. "Ya, I want to see!"

"No, it's embarrassing!" You protested, moving the form away from his peering eyes when his hand tries to reach for it. "You'll know later anyway if I pass Seoul University!"

"You mean 'when' you pass." He corrected, resting his chin on your shoulder this time before peering up at you. "And why are you embarrassed over your program? It's not the most embarrassing choice you've made in front of me."

"Ya!"

"So what is it?"

You leaned away from him and Beomgyu found it weirdly strange to be on eye-level with you while seated after he's suddenly grown almost a head taller than you over the summer. "I might...do a double degree on Painting and Sculpture."

"What's embarrassing about that? If anything, I'd be surprised if those two are nowhere near your top five options." He raised a brow almost instinctively. "Y/N, a double degree's impressive as hell!"

"It's just that..." You stumbled shyly over your words, scratching the nape of your neck. "I don't know, it's a shot in the dark. It's not like I'm that good like how you're great with your music."

"That's bullshit. You've always been talented and hardworking when it comes to your art. If anything, it's me who's always trying to catch up with you." He countered immediately, sitting up straight with a serious expression on his face. "And it's something you love and want to learn more of so why would it be embarrassing? Be confident and own your passions, Y/N."

"They might not actually see that if I don't do well in the exams and the portfolio I turn in. For all we know, I suck compared to other people."

"You literally just won a mural competition last summer." Beomgyu rolled his eyes. "Admissions would be dumb to reject you."

Looking back on that memory almost four years ago, the revelation of what you really think of him makes Beomgyu's head spin that he had to quickly snap himself back to reality when you downed the last of your chocolate and mumbled how opening up was a mistake to yourself.

"I'm going to bed." You announced, rubbing your eyes tiredly and clutching your mug to your chest.

Before you could leave the table, however, Beomgyu quickly grabs onto your arm. "Wait, wait, no!"

"I'm tired as shit. You can rub my emotional comments on my face tomorrow morning."

"It's not that." Beomgyu frowned, tugging on your arm for you to sit down again. When you hesitantly follow along with him, he then continued, "It's just...is that why you tried hiding your application form from me back then?"

"I mean, I wasn't as confident in myself then as I am now and I had my other doubts about taking the program itself but...yeah, I guess." You shrugged slowly, looking everywhere but him. "I also thought that if I take both Painting and Sculpture, I have to make you proud no matter what."

On any other day, he would've teased you for it but he knew you'd probably smack his head on the table in that moment. So, instead, he held back on a smile and nudged you gently on the shoulder. "You make me proud no matter what you do." He assured. "And, if you must know, I also think highly of your opinion on my music...I guess we just show it in different ways.

"And if you're not ready to show me some of your new projects yet, it's okay. I can wait for all of them because I know they'll all turn out great."

You then looked up at him with raised brows. "Even if I make you wait until graduation for some of them?"

"I might ask Ryujin or Soobin to take photos of your progress for me if I have to wait that long." He joked, making you chuckle. "You know, the usual."

"Sure you will." You scoffed before picking up his mug on the table and standing up again. "Dude, come on, we really have to go to bed."

IV. WE KEEP SECRETS FROM EACH OTHER

It's not to say, however, that there aren't any instances when your roles are unwittingly reversed. Beomgyu also closes himself off from you and everyone else from time to time and you naturally end up being the nosy one banging on his door and demanding for him to at least let you know that he's eating well.

It's often when Beomgyu's stressed—when there's too much work to be done, especially in his music, or when he suddenly finds himself in a problem that he unusually doesn't share with you at the first encounter.

In these moments, you usually start noticing a week before he could even lock himself in his room and isolate himself from all of your friends. Especially since university began when you'd mostly meet in the day at lunch with your friends, he'd stop pestering you to elaborate more on a story you'd tell half-heartedly but he'll still hold your hand under the tables in front of all of your friends, squeezing it more often than usual out of anxiety.

And his smile never reaches his eyes when he's stressed, the same way his laugh would be quieter, an easy giveaway that he's going through something he's decided to keep on his own.

So as someone who's noticed his patterns over the years, you let him be at first, squeezing his hand back and initiating all the jokes in the group for him to finish with the punchline so he doesn't linger too much in his own thoughts.

Then when Hueningkai or Soobin do message you that Beomgyu hasn't left his room except to go to only half of his classes, you're quick to come up to his dorm with takeout and whatever project you're working on, knowing that what he really needs best in these moments is company.

There's times when Beomgyu acts extra bratty and doesn't let you in his personal space for a couple of days, a week at most like the time he was so stressed about Toto getting sick back in your Freshman year. It takes a lot of time out of your week and money from your weekly allowance buying him food but you wait patiently by his door anyway, catching up on your studies on the hallway floor if you're at the dorms or outside his room back in your neighborhood and occasionally knocking on his door to ensure that he's still alive.

But when he does let you in, opening the door just wide enough for you to see his bloodshot tired eyes and a blanket over his head, you take the initiative to open the door wider and hug him before anything else.

You almost never initiate skinship as much as you never share things until they're prodded out of you by Beomgyu, he knows that well so that's exactly what you do when you first see him in this state. All the time.

You don't speak until he lets you go and you're allowed to occupy his space with him. Back in your old neighborhood, you would put your things on his desk next to his own and work quietly until he decides to open up to you on his own accord.

Since college started, however, things have been slightly different in that once you're in the room, you'd sit on his bed first and let him hug you until he's ready to talk. If his roommate, Hueningkai, would be there at the end of the day, you'd throw a shoe at the younger boy and ask him to come back after dinner with the promise that you'd play Mario Kart with him the next weekend.

When Beomgyu's stressed, he likes it better when it's just the two of you, your exact opposite since you'd rather have all of your close friends with you on a hangout when you're in a similar state of mind.

The most stressed Beomgyu has been in college was when he was finishing the first official album for TXT, the band he formed with Yeonjun, Soobin, Taehyun, and Hueningkai in the summer before your freshman year. It was in the second semester of your junior year, when both of you were also preparing for internship applications on top of academics and the clubs piling one on top of each other that you sort of saw this coming as soon as you felt stressed out yourself.

Beomgyu only let you in his dorm room on your fifth day of camping out, crying out his frustrations on your shoulders for almost two hours that you had to change into one of his shirts after and ask Hueningkai to bring up a whole pitcher of water for your best friend to drink over dinner.

"I—I...I just...I can't! I can't finish the songs! I'm going insane!" He exclaimed on your shoulder, his cries muffled against you but you don't mind as you continue rubbing his back in circles and reminding him to breathe. "And...and nothing's been going my way these days! Not in my classes, not in the radio show or on the soccer team! I'm just...I'm just so out of it, Y/N!"

You hummed comfortingly, carefully moving both him and yourself so you're both sitting up properly once more. You then pointed to his open laptop and computer screens on the desk across the room with a small smile, "I can see your progress from here, though. You've been doing well. You're trying and getting things done, that's what matters."

"It's not all that good..."

You shook your head almost immediately, handing him another pack of tissues you've brought with you before discarding the used ones in the nearby trash bin. "Yes, it is! I've heard the drafts before you locked yourself up in here, they're all great." You retorted, tilting your head when he buries his face in the crook of your neck once more. "I think I like Thursday's Child Has Far To Go and Maze in the Mirror the most. They're very you.

"And about your classes and clubs, just take your time with them. Soobin and I e-mailed some of your profs already, Jeongin and Tae are handling the radio show well, and I'm sure Sunwoo and the rest of the soccer team would understand your absence for now.

"For now, just do what you want to do. Rest if you want to rest. If you want to focus on the band, then that's fine too. Everything will align themselves in time, just please don't forget to take care of yourself."

"And if they don't? Align themselves in time, I mean?"

His breathing was ragged then from all of the crying and his eyes the reddest and puffiest you've ever seen them. You figured from then on that you really hate seeing Beomgyu cry in frustration the most.

"They will, I promise. They always do with you." You replied without thinking, hesitantly patting his head and gently wiping his tears with your thumbs. "And you know I'll stay with you here until you're satisfied with your progress. Or at least for a couple of days because I have tons of presentations next week."

He sniffled a bit, spraying his hands with alcohol and adjusting the blanket wrapped around him. "W-What are you going to work on in a bit?"

You scoffed, already expecting that he'd ask. "I brought a project for my Sculpture II class, if that's okay. I also brought newspapers so I don't make a mess on the floor." You answered anyway, chuckling when his eyes immediately lit up. "You've been bugging me about it so I thought I can show you the my progress just this once to cheer you up."

And as if a light switch was turned, the glossiness previously in his eyes suddenly looked like sparkles as he sat up straight. "I could smother your face in kisses right now."

"Wipe that snot off of your nose first." You pretended to cringe when he dramatically opened his arms wide and puckered his lips. At that moment, you immediately knew that he was feeling a bit better, at least. "Geez, sometimes, I think you just sulk sometimes to get me to come here and show you my works early."

"I'm not that evil!" He pouted, taking the weighted blanket off of his back and getting off the bed. "Though, now that you've suggested it..."

A pillow then quickly landed on his face. "Choi Beomgyu!"

So you spent three nights at Beomgyu and Hueningkai's dorm room, working on a bust of Yeonjun (it's a long story involving you losing a bet to him at your last group hangout) on the floor while Beomgyu finished the final edits to TXT's songs. You then go back to your own dorm room before breakfast to freshen up for your class then come back again after your classes, often around 4 PM.

And when Beomgyu finally caught up with his classes and extra-curriculars, he surprised you with an invitation to TXT's surprise album launch over a month later.

Another thing about Beomgyu is that he's strangely great with surprises, preparing elaborate plans for occasions like your birthday, the holidays, or when he's bounced back from a difficult situation right under your nose.

Initially, the boys only told you that they'd release the album after finals week and play it at the year-end school festival, the first time they would be performing a full set of original songs. Though you, Yeji, Ryujin, and Yunjin insisted that they should do a proper album launch, all five of the boys just kept saying excuses or shifting the topic to something else.

On your last official school day for that semester, however, you suddenly received a notification from TXT's social medias about a surprise album launch at a cafe you frequent with all of your friends and a personal message from Beomgyu telling you to come over 30 minutes before the show.

So in retaliation, you made sure to stop over at the nearest flower shop with the girls and surprise Beomgyu with at least a congratulatory bouquet of roses, the same size as the one he gave you all of those years ago.

Said bouquet almost getting ruined when Beomgyu hugged you the moment you entered the cafe.

"You came!" He exclaimed giddily on your neck, almost toppling you to the ground as his arms encircled your waist. "You came! You came! You came!"

You scoffed, taking a moment to regain your footing as you rested your cheek against your best friend and carefully held the bouquet behind his head. "Of course I'd come. I'm your number one fan."

"Sure you are." He feigned a sniffle before tilting his head away to press a kiss to your cheek. "But still, thank you for coming. This means a lot to me."

"I know."

"You helped finished this album."

"I doubt that. I just worked with you in silence for three days straight."

He shook his head fervently, pulling away from you fully by then and leading you to the makeshift stage across the room. "You helped me refocus and get back on my feet so I can finish everything. I think you helped big time." He retorted before picking up his guitar from its stand. "Anyway, I have another surprise!"

"I only got you one." You feigned a frown while shaking the bouquet in your hands, making him chuckle before occupying the empty high stool next to him. "I'll have to get back at you again after this."

"You're already doing so much for me coming here tonight. And you bought me really expensive flowers!" He assured, strumming the guitar a few times. When you then opened your mouth to retort, he quickly interjected, "Anyway, I wrote this song for you! I'm still thinking if I want us to perform this later but I really just want to play it for you right now before anything."

So in the middle of that cafe, while your friends ran around preparing the decorations and doing soundchecks, Beomgyu sang his song, "Nap of a Star," with his guitar on his lap and his phone with the lyrics on the music stand.

"I can see even without you in front of me. I feel you, even without saying anything. Because I believe in you, even if I'm anxious

"I can touch even without you in front of my eyes. I reach even if you go far away from me. Just by remembering you, my heart always dances like before

"I want to become your nap and dream together always as if nothing happened. The evening sunset and the darkened night sky, my heart is full of you."

He occasionally giggled and fumbled on the guitar a bit everytime he glanced over in your general direction but he finished the song with you nearly in tears, something you instinctively hid by smacking him in the arm once the guitar was out of the way.

"You jerk! You wrote that for me? Are you sure?" You exclaimed, rapidly blinking back tears. "And I only got you flowers today! God, you're making me look like a bad friend!"

He rolled his eyes, getting down from the high stool and standing in front of you. With your own chair's height, you were easily at eye-level with him as he smiled at you. "I already told you, just coming over to hear us is already enough. Don't worry about it." He assured. "Anyway, what did you think of the song?"

"It's beautiful, of course." You scoffed half-heartedly, making him chuckle. "Was that night walk in the lyrics about—?"

"That night walk at the art fair? Yeah." He grinned shyly, rubbing the nape of his neck.

Once, in the 9th grade, you had a big fight with Beomgyu over Areum, at that point his ex-girlfriend. What you both do remember the most about it is how it happened on the week before a planned trip to an art fair in the busier district of Seoul that you were really excited about.

Though you were pretty sure that you weren't on speaking terms with him that time, he still showed up at the bus stop on the day itself, prompting you to apologize to each other before heading to the art fair together.

"You were crying like shit in public that we had to move to a more secluded area because people were looking. Then, you almost choked me to death with your hug." You recalled in confusion. "Not like I was any better but..."

"I put it in because I really thought our friendship was over then." He explained with a pout. "Then the first words we told each other when you saw me at the bus stop were apologies and...ah, it's very cheesy but I just think back to that time whenever I miss you. I think it's one of those moments I remember when I think of our bond."

You smack him again, this time directly on his chest, but the tears also flow freely this time. "God, you're so...you're so poetic and annoying! And you're making me cry!"

"I take that as a win." He laughed deeply as he hugged you, one hand rubbing your back soothingly while the other cupped your face and wiped your tears gently.

"How can you even say those things without crying? We've been friends for almost 16 years, damn it, Gyu." You mumbled in his plaid shirt, hugging him back. "I-I really love the song…”

"Years of practice on how to say it properly, actually." He joked half-heartedly, rubbing your back even more and mumbling to a passing Soobin something about the last preparations for the album launch. "That's why I do all the talking for us."

V. I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH

Your thesis for your Painting degree, you realize right before the Winter break this senior year, is the perfect surprise to get back at Beomgyu. While you've briefly mentioned that you'll have to take an extra year to complete your Sculpture degree's senior thesis, you're focusing on your Painting degree in your 4th year and have miraculously kept it under wraps from everyone including your best friend because everything's been hidden in your laptop and at the studios.

At the same time, it sort of fits. Though overall, most of the studies, actual finished works, and research you've done so far for your thesis are focused on human relationships overall, traces of Beomgyu have been slipping in here and there, reminding you that it's quite hard to paint anything about your friends or your first love without him.

He's in the series of studies you did of all of your friend groups, in a watercolor rendition of the faces you remember from your old neighborhood's playground, and even in a charcoal rendition of your favorite romance book characters as your thesis advisor suggested that you try and explore.

And he's in even more finished works and abandoned sketches way before that, some you unconvered in your old binders while researching for your thesis.

It could just be the extra hustle and bustle of your senior year, with you and all of your friends busier than ever as you work on your final year. Not to mention, you still have to prepare balancing a job at the university museum with your fifth year classes next year and Beomgyu's been busy putting out new music with TXT and discussing a junior producer position at an entertainment company.

But it's been almost a whole month since you last went to a proper lunch (one that isn't jut coffee and convenience store ramen) with any of your friends which is a whole record for you and Beomgyu, in particular. You're probably just missing the guy a bit too much these days that even just getting his daily cheer up messages has been messing with your thoughts all over again.

(Not that it doesn't mess you up on any normal day. It's just a tad bit extra now that you haven't seen his face around in a while)

So when you brought up to your thesis advisor the idea of painting a portrait of Beomgyu, the studies of which you would gift him for Christmas then remake as a proper oil painting for your thesis after the Winter break, there wasn't much of a complaint on her part.

Hell, you might even suspect that Prof Kim, a mentor whom you've also had in past studio classes, has been secretly rooting for you this whole time after years of always seeing Beomgyu randomly pop up around the department building.

"And what kind of relationship will a portrait of Choi Beomgyu represent in your exhibit?" She asked on Monday with a teasing glint in her eyes, a copy of your project research in her hands.

Your face heated up in an instant as you fumbled over your words, something you quickly excuse as a reaction related to the snow outside. "I—well...I'll figure that out later which I know is a cop out answer academically but I'll connect it to something in my RRL later, I promise!"

Prof Kim chuckled, closing her binder. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Personally, I think you already have it in your RRL and project proposal, you just need to make a more explicit mention of your friend in the paper moving forward since he'll be a subject in one of your finished works."

You nodded sheepishly, quickly gathering your things and standing up to bow at your advisor. "I'll e-mail you my progress again next week before the break!"

"No, no, it's okay! Just e-mail me after the holidays, I won't deduct grades or anything!"

A few days later, you're on the floor of your dorm room with Ryujin and Yeji cramming their own choreographies for their respective senior theses in another corner of the room while you finished your second study of Beomgyu, using your most recent photos as a reference.

The small 12x16 canvas you were working on sat comfortably on an equally small easel on your work desk, another canvas of the same dimensions drying by the windowsill next to a pile of old photos at the same time. Since your thesis would only require photos of your studies, you figured that you can give all of them to Beomgyu then make an extra oil painting of the two of you, knowing that he'd probably shy away (after making egotistical jokes, of course) if it's all just him.

"So what would the final painting be?" Ryujin suddenly asked as Yeji pauses the music for a five-minute break, approaching you as she drinks a bottle of cold water. "They're all so different."

You glanced over your shoulder and frown. "That's the thing, I'm not really sure how I want to paint him in the final work."

"Why?" Yeji asked this time, sitting cross-legged on a nearby mat.

You shrugged in response. "I don't know. Honestly, I thought if I do some studies, I'd get a clearer idea but I'm already three paintings in and I still have no plan of action for the one that actually counts to a grade." You sighed, turning your attention back to your unfinished painting.

"At least you have the Christmas gift ready!" Ryujin half-heartedly joked, sitting on an empty chair next to you. On your peripheral vision, you also caught Yeji nodding with a hopeful smile. "You don't have to paint the final work until after the break, anyway."

"Yeah, but it's the one that's going to be displayed at the exhibit at the end of the year." You pointed out matter-of-factly, carefully finishing the last layer of your painting. "And it has to be perfect."

"Maybe you can work something out over the break? You're going home to your neighborhood with Beomgyu and spending more time with him, anyway." Yeji suggested next. "Maybe then you'll have a clearer idea, hm?"

And Yeji was definitely right, as she always is, when you do go home to your old neighborhood with Beomgyu after the last official school day of the semester and find yourself hanging out in his childhood bedroom on the days leading up to Christmas much like the old days.

The idea comes to you on the afternoon of Christmas Eve almost two weeks later, when you invited yourself at the Choi's once more to listen to TXT's new songs and catch up with Toto. You sat cross-legged on Beomgyu's bed with your own earphones connected to his laptop and a live-sketch of the boy in his favorite green plaid shirt and freshly cut and dyed black hair on your lap.

Glancing over at him and seeing the way his eyes sparkled as you listened to "Way Home," it was a rather quick revelation to you that the best way to paint your best friend is in his most comfortable state. Just like this: when it's just the two of you drawing and listening to music, basking in the comfort of each other's company.

So you looked back at him again as the song transitioned to "Blue Hour," trying to take in as much of his features in that moment as much as you can. The faint sunlight coming in through the fogged up windows, Beomgyu's messy hair and skewed reading glasses, his hand propped up on his desk as he rested his cheek on his palm, his brows furrowed slightly in concentration as he worked only to consciously soften them when he looks at you, the way he talked animatedly about certain parts of the song with a boyish but proud grin on his lips.

Before you can even listen to the third song, you were already placing your hand on his upper arm and asking him to stay still for a moment.

"Why?" He asked, blinking twice while his hands go to pausing the song on his laptop anyway.

"I'm trying to memorize your face in this light." You answered absentmindedly, turning to a fresh page on your sketchbook and looking at him for a minute longer before removing your hand from him. "Okay."

"Okay?" He chuckled nervously. "What was that for? Are you going to send the mafia to kill me or something?"

You rolled your eyes, folding your knees closer to your chest to hide your sketchbook as you start anew. "It's a secret."

He then tried peering over your shoulder, moving the chair he was sitting on closer to the bed. "Are you drawing me?"

"Maybe." You teased with a smirk before pulling the sketchbook closer to your chest when he tried peering again. "Play the next song, Gyu."

Painting him in another solo portrait then on one of the two of you after that was relatively quick and easy as you finished your final gifts on Christmas Day while Beomgyu and his family went to a reunion out of town. While the last painting study, the one you'll render to a bigger canvas after the break, is him looking back at you fondly on that Christmas Eve afternoon, the additional painting of the two of you was from a candid photo Taehyun took when Beomgu played you Nap of a Star.

So now, here you are, in your room this time with the portraits gift-wrapped on the foot of your bed while your best friend handed you a late Christmas gift of his own.

"I was going to make it on my computer at first since everyone was sending in pictures on chats but then Yeonjun said that it might end up looking like the slideshows you have at funerals even with my superior editing skills." Beomgyu explained with a nervous chuckle as you unwrapped the gift, finding a thick scrapbook of all of your memories and mementos growing up. "Since everything else of you that I have—the pictures, the craft store receipts, Lotte World tickets, and everything—are all in boxes at home and at the dorms, I just thought I'd print the pictures I got from our friends and instead of scanning the things I already have then make it into a physical scrapbook.

"You did always say that you want to make one someday but we never really had the time so I thought I'd start it for you and, surprisingly, there are too many things in my own space that are yours or remind me of you."

You browse through the abnormally thick book in surprise and amusement, not even knowing that Beomgyu's kept even the simplest scraps of paper related to you after all these years. From the pictures his mom took of the two of you for every first day of school until the 12th grade to the candid photos he's taken of you over the years on his phone (regardless of how unflattering they are—you make sure to smack him in the arm everytime you come across one as you continue browsing) to notes you'd leave on his locker whenever he missed school and all the Christmas tags you've put on your previous gifts, it's the most detailed history of the two of you from when you met up until the present, complete with small captions handwritten by the boy himself.

So much so that you even linger on some of the pages you never thought you'd see, including the sketch you drew that day on the playground, the first note he passed you in class in the 1st grade, and a copy of the front page of the Science paper you crammed with him in the 6th grade.

"How did you even get some of these?" You ask, pointing to a photo of the two of you from your first Christmas together you somehow forgot existed. It was in the 1st grade when the Chois had to cancel going to their annual family reunion because of Mr. Choi's work so your families ended up watching the neighborhood fireworks display together. "I don't even think I have a copy of this!"

"That's from my mom! Also took her a long time to find on her phone." Beomgyu grins before turning to another page just full of flattened flowers, mostly daisies and roses. "And these are from all the bouquets you've bought me for recitals, graduations, and our first album launch! I kept at least one of everything because I wanted to use them in a project someday but I wasn't really sure what until I got the idea to make you a scrapbook."

"How did you even decide to give me a scrapbook for Christmas? And going through all the trouble of asking everyone we know for extra pictures? I thought you were busy with the band and your thesis?" You ask next, turning to the last page and finding a bunch of old letters and old invitations, the one from your senior prom standing out. By this point, it was hard to keep the stray tears at bay as you sniffle, making Beomgyu laugh before passing you tissues.

You went with all of your friends back then but you only danced alone with Beomgyu, somehow deluding yourself into thinking that he would confess and reciprocate your feelings.

But he never did, holding himself back from saying anymore in front of your house and simply kissing your forehead at the end of the night, and that was probably the only time you cried over the boy for that reason.

Beomgyu scratches his head and smiles sheepishly before slowly gesturing over to your wrapped gift for him. "A-Ah, well...Ryujin may or may not have mentioned something about you slaving away the past few weeks for your gift."

Your jaw slacks. "Are you serious?"

Before you could protest even more, however, Beomgyu's quick to raise his hands up in defense and interject, "Well, to be fair, I got the original idea of a simple scrapbook with everything I have way before Ryujin approached me! Then she mentioned sometime ago how hard you were working on my Christmas present that I had to up the stakes and ask for more pictures and stuff from everyone else after.

"And it wasn't that time consuming, actually! Everyone was happy to share photos and even some stories about you which I wrote in some of the entries because I thought it was sweet. Just...I want you to feel absolutely loved with this gift.

"And I mean, isn't it also nice seeing us from other people's point of view?" He points out next, flipping back to the pages mainly dedicated to photos of you and your mutual friends mixed in with photos they took of you. "It's also kind of a gift from everyone else in that sense."

You wipe another set of stray tears, making Beomgyu pout and reach a hand up to help you.

"Are you okay—?"

"I love it so much." You sniffle, smacking his arm before hugging the scrapbook to your chest. "Thank you, Gyu."

He heaves a sigh of relief, clutching his chest with his free hand. "There are still some blank pages towards the end. I figured you can put your own stuff in it if since I know you keep some things in the box under the bed." He suggests, patting the bed as if to gesture to the boxes you keep under it. "Or if you want, we can just fill it with new stuff later."

"Will you help me add in my own things?"

He nods with a bright smile. "We can do it before dinner with your parents." He then reaches towards the opposite end of the bed and picks up his gift, shaking it in front of him and asking next, "Should I open my gift in the meantime?"

"Yes, please. I can't be the only one crying right now." You nod with a chuckle, moving the scrapbook to your bedside table and helping him remove the tapes all over his gift.

"Before you make your usual complaint that it's too much, it's also actually part of my senior thesis for my Painting degree. Remember how I mentioned last time that I decided to make two separate theses for my programs? So, these are studies for one of my final paintings." You explain as the paintings come into view, Beomgyu's eyes widening and his jaw slacking in an instant.

"Woah..." He breathes, laying the canvases next to each other gently. “This is...this is amazing!"

"And there's one of the two of us. Look." You point at the last painting with a small smile. "The reference is from a photo Taehyun sent to our chat after the album launch."

"A-And...and where are the other portraits from?" He asks in a lower voice after a moment, eyes sparkling when he looks up at you again.

You gulp down any feelings of wanting to melt on the spot, pointing to each painting as you answer, "The first portrait's from a photo I took at your last gig, the second one's from last summer when we went to Haeundae beach, and the third one's from just the other day when you were letting me listen to your new music."

He points to the last one shyly, his cheeks flushed pink as the two of you look over at the painting of him listening to music on his headphones with a small smile on his face. "This was in my room?"

You nod, equally shy now that he's asking the questions upfront. "I-I just figured...you looked so warm and cozy then and that's always how I remember you so...yeah. That's also the one I'll be painting in the final work that's going in my thesis."

"Really?" His eyes widen even more, to which you simply nod once more before briefly looking away from him.

"Yeah, because my thesis is mostly on human relationships and, really, the rationale in all of these paintings is that I wanted to portray you as how you are in my eyes which is—"

Before you could even finish your thought, however, Beomgyu's oversized hoodie engulfs you and his lips land on your cheek. Then he gives you another peck, this time on a spot just slightly higher on the same cheek.

Then another, and another, before moving to another cheek. "You're amazing. I love you so much." He whispers against your skin dangerously close to your lips, almost as if he was telling you a very important secret.

And you know he means it differently than the other times he casually says it to you when he doesn't laugh excitedly between his words or jokingly force you to say it back as he would often do.

Instead, he punctuates the declaration by cupping your face gently and repeating the words again. "I love you so much. I love you the most." He sighs, meeting your gaze desperately.

And it's probably the years of knowing him that he doesn't have to elaborate on it further for you to catch on. At the same time, you feel a weight lift itself off of your shoulders at this, one that you haven't even realized you've been carrying along with you this whole time, hugging the boy back tighter with your arms on his waist in response.

“Can I?” He asks next, stroking your cheek with his thumb as his eyes momentarily flickers down to your lips.

You nod with a soft hum almost instantly, tilting your face as he closes the gap between your lips.

Beomgyu kisses you like it's the most natural thing in the world for him to do, his lips feeling comforting on top of yours as he conveys every built up feeling and all the kinds of love he’s had for you in the past 16 years and receives the same back from you.

And all negative thoughts you’ve had, worries that your best friend will never look at you the same way you’ve always hoped for him to, are immediately thrown off the window and replaced by the assurance that Choi Beomgyu, the nuisance who’s been affectionately stuck to your hip since day one, is in love with you.

"I love you." He repeats, voice muffled towards the end as he gives you another fleeting kiss before rubbing your noses together. "You know what I mean, right?"

"I love you too." You reply on your own accord, panting slightly as you fill your lungs in with air and biting your lip as you feel your face heat up after. "I outlined it out at the bottom of our painting too with my signature, in case you didn't spot it."

"Ya, I did." He chuckles sheepishly, briefly moving to sit away to put your paintings on the side of the bed. Before the space he previously occupied in front of you grows cold, his arms are back around you once more as he tackles you down on the bed. "I'll hang all of them in my dorm when we get back."

"You can't nail things to the walls then graduate. That's not how it works." You laugh with a shake of your head, encircling your arms on his neck as he props himself on his elbows on top of you. When he laughs along, something in your heart stirs happily at how the two of you could go from intimate to casual so smoothly, assuring you that nothing much is going to change—just now with more-than-friendly kisses and the assurance that your best friend feels the same about you. "Anyway, they're all small enough to go on your desk at the dorms and at the studio."

"Then I'll put them on my work desk at the studio. Everyone has to know I have a really talented partner."

"Partner?" You scoff teasingly against the sudden rapid beating of your heart, playfully pushing him away. "I'm your significant other now?"

"Didn't I make it clear enough with the kisses and the hug? Not even with the fact that I've been sticking by you my entire life?" He feigns a pout as he easily rolls the two of you over with you comfortably on top of him now. "Should we make out instead?"

Your face heats up more at the comment, eyes widening when he does press a longer kiss on your lips and even manages to open your mouth while you’re distracted. "That's also not how it works, Gyu!" You manage to successfully push him away and roll your eyes, hiding your face in his chest in embarrassment.

"Then will you be my significant other? I'll take care of you like I always have, just with more kisses! Maybe some other things too like just five seconds ago." He dramatically asks with a smirk, teasingly prying your hands away from your face. "What? You wanted me to ask!"

"What happened to having shit taste in people and dating each other being an insult, then?” You tease one last time, making him groan. "Or not liking anyone I like, hm? You’re kind of contradicting yourself here.”

"We’re contradicting ourselves. I think I know enough Math to know that negatives cancel each other out." He retorts before leaning down for another kiss and resting his head on your chest after.

"But you suck at Math.”

"Do you want help with the scrapbook or not?"

VI. (epilogue) MAYBE WE WORK A LITTLE TOO WELL

A big bouquet of red roses and sunflowers is dropped in your arms by Beomgyu for the second time in your life, purposeful this time as he follows it with a an extra daisy tucked in your ear and a kiss.

"Congratulations on the exhibit, baby!" He greets you giddily after with a grin and a soft pat on your head. "I’m so proud of you! You’ve worked so hard!”

"Ew, ew, ew, not in front of us, please." Hueningkai complains, hiding behind Yeonjun and Taehyun as you lead your friends around your thesis exhibit. “I’m a child!”

You roll your eyes, draping your free arm around Beomgyu's waist anyway as Ryujin and Yeji wander off to the portraits you made of your family while the boys approach your studies on your high school and college friends.

"I have another surprise, by the way!" Your boyfriend speaks up again, taking out his phone and placing an earphone on your left ear. "I may or may not have gotten the idea from that time you were finishing up your thesis in the studio."

"I'm fucking scared." You joke, adjusting the earphone anyway while he wears the right bud on his right ear. "What is this?"

From what you can remember of those all-nighters two weeks ago, you brought your remaining works in his studio to work with him in the same space. While Beomgyu was winding down from having just finished his own thesis and recording the demo for a new song, you were trying to work quietly in your own corner, alternating between singing TXT's old songs to yourself or mumbling about how you were going to present the written part of your thesis to Prof Kim.

You also remember making out on the studio sofa while you’re on break but you’re pretty sure (well, you’re hoping your boyfriend's not insane like that) that it’s not anything remotely related to that in particular.

Beomgyu then takes your hand, leading you to where Yeji and Ryujin are. "Let's start here. I followed your gallery's pamphlet but modified it a bit towards the end so we'll end up in the painting you made of us."

And when you do stop in front of the painting series, that of your family over the years, Beomgyu's pre-recorded voice rings through your ears.

"Hello and welcome to "Why We Work,” a senior thesis by artist and my beautiful, beautiful partner, Y/N Y/L/N." Beomgyu proudly announces in the recording, making you laugh out loud in an instant. Faint in the background, you can distinctly hear Maze in the Mirror's instrumentals playing. "Y/N, baby, are you tuning in? Congratulations on finally finishing your Painting thesis! I made you an audio guide!”

You smack the real Beomgyu on his arm as you try and regain your composure. "Ya, you brat! What is this?”

He only giggles in response, making a shushing gesture dramatically. "Shh, just continue listening in. I made it for the whole gallery."

You roll your eyes but tune in anyway, responding well to the commentary as you walk with Beomgyu and even discussing some of the works yourself live and more in-depth.

“This was really sweet of you.”

“It is sweet of me, you’re welcome.” He teases, earning him another smack on the arm.

taglist: @wccycc @4beomy

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 54

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

all i want for christmas by tusslee

“Listen,” Lance squeezes Keith’s fingers in his hands, “I’m as bad at this as you probably are and this is going to be really cheesy, but that’s the way I was raised and I know I act like an idiot around pretty girls, but I’m an even bigger idiot around you. Go ahead and try to guess why that is. No, actually don't do that."

this one is gonna be an xmas special!! even though im writing this before halloween lol. anyways. this was so cute!! lance being all stressed about what he should get keith bc he's all in love w him any everything. so real.

2. You're Here (Where You Should Be) by @blue-wanderer

"And if you’re worried about the cameras just take care of them.” “Take care—! Take care of them? With what, Keith?” “I don’t know?” Keith asks, busily testing his foothold in the gate and generally ignoring the rising storm cloud of ire behind him. “With a gun?” “A gun? This isn’t some sort of black ops storming an enemy base thing! This is a Christmas tree thing!” “I don’t see a difference? You’re the sharpshooter. Shoot out the cameras.” “Let me just pull a gun out of my ass, Keith!” “OK, problem solved,” Keith agrees, taking another step up the gate. “Nothing is solved you dumb country space redneck!”

Or Keith and Lance may be disasters at decorating, but Christmas still manages to work its magic on them.

i bookmarked this like a year ago and let me tell you all i needed to hear was dumb country space redneck and i was hooked 😭😭 and it lived up to the name fr. hate the canon ending? want lance to not be a farmer while still acknowledging his struggles with homesickness? want some whipped keith and meddlesome kosmo? want some cheesy xmas feels? click ahead!

3. make my wish come true by angelbolt

“A world where one has to fight for custody of one’s boyfriend is a godless one,” Lance muttered, slumping so he was leaning against Hunk. Shiro exchanged some final words with Kolivan before the screen blipped out. Ah yes, the ideal Christmas Eve: long boring talks and war meetings. Wonderful. ❆❅❆ keith comes home for christmas.

fun game idea: take a shot every time you see a klance xmas fic with a mariah carey lyric. lol. ANYWAYS yall know me and established relationship + early season dynamics!! i am obsessed!! and this fic delivers!! grumpy lance pov who just wants the rest of the world to fuck off for a couple days so he can have his bf around. he's such a voice of the people

4. i'll be home for christmas by @thespacenico

A severe bout of winter weather threatens to stop Shiro from making it home for his first Christmas with Keith. Shiro is ready to do whatever it takes to keep his promise.

okay this one is from darcy's i've got you brother, which i am obsessed with and have cried over several times, and which just recently updated! this fic is so cute and a adashi with young keith always fucking gets to me, man. they're just so. shiro being so desperately determined to keep his promise to young keith who has had so many promises broken that he doesnt even expect shiro to try. but is happy that he does. sobbing.

5. the greatest gift of all by dumpsterdiva

Keith’s mouth hung open for a few seconds before he stammered, “D-do you really mean that?” Lance looked a bit sheepish as he said, “I… It’s crazy, right? I mean, it’s way too soon. You know I was kidding.” Keith straightened up. “Well, I’m not. Marry me.” “What?!” “You heard me, you coward. Marry me.” “That’s the worst proposal ever!” “Worse than you threatening me with marriage so I would stop talking about how amazing you are?”

YOU GUYS KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT PROPOSAL FICS. i feel ksjbskdbqjdbqwlwd about them. okay. and throw in a christmas setting??? and banter?? and a MODERN AU?? i am doing my best, people. this fic had me shoving a pillow into my face and screaming.

that’s it for today!! happy holidays! merry christmas!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[panelshowsource]

hello everyone and happy christmas day! 🎄 i hope wherever you are, whatever you are or are not celebrating, whoever you're with, you're having a joyful season~

after a lil pandemic hiatus, i've been back and blogging regularly — updating my google drive to share, posting gifs, answering funny and silly and engaging asks — for the last six months, and it's been quite fun 🥹 i still think i'm a little too sensitive for the internet and i don't know why i don't seem to get any better at making gifs and i know i post too much of the same stuff and i want the blog to be better — but, regardless, it's been a nice space to come to every day. we watch these dumb shows because they distract from the harder days for 45 minutes at a time and remind us there always reasons to smile, so thank you for coping alongside me. and for all the kindness! really. i got so many holiday messages and they were too sweet...💝 ≧◡≦

if you need something to watch, i posted a recap of some of the christmas specials this month and they should all be updated on the masterposts. hope you enjoy them!

i'm with my family for the season and between apartments after a big move and full of mashed potatoes and exhausted by it all, but i will be back posting regularly in the new year: big taskmaster sets, friendship sets, peep show/ttoi/blackadder/fawlty rewatches, polls, ugh i have so many wips and fun ideas...

in the meantime, thank you again and happy holidays 🤍

sarah

[ssadumba55]

Break (Bernard the Elf x Reader)

Request: Ok I've been brainstorming an idea for Bernard and ok here's what I got ok Reader is Santa's introverted kid and them and Bernard are in an established relationship and he's like the reader's emotional support so they follow him everywhere like an introvert dragged to a party but they would totally back off if he told them to

A/N: @fo-babes I believe this was your request ;) just in time for the holiday season and some new Bernard content next week. Part 1 of your birthday one shots. No matter how retired I am on this blog, I'll always room to post for you. This blog brought us together and I don't know what I'd do without you in my life, you've kept me sane this year when nothing else would. Here's to another 19 years of life for you, hopefully that I'll be able to tag along for! I wouldn't rather be anywhere else. Also, yes you did make me that gif I used of Bernard. Thanks!

“Make sure the painting gets done before Santa gets back or he’s going to freak out. Nice work though!”

Bernard stood up straight from where he’d been bent over, assessing one of the many jobs that needed to be done in the workshop. Christmas was still, thankfully, a ways off. Just over 100 days to be exact, they had time to perfect every little thing before it came. He was in good spirits today. There was a lot of time to get things ready and Santa was out, visiting the Millers, leaving him to run the workshop on his own.

He loved having Santa around, but sometimes it was nice to have him gone so he could keep all the elves on task.

Another reason for his good mood was the lack of Curtis, the keeper of the handbook. Normally he was attached at Bernard’s hip, talking his ear off and giving him a splintering headache. Today, however, it seemed he decided his talents would be better used elsewhere. Bernard was grateful for that, he began to continue on his way.

In Curtis’ place, was you. Santa’s eldest child, you’d made the move to the Pole with him when he came to stay here full time. Your relationship with the Millers from what he understood was rocky, you rarely left the Pole with your dad to visit. The only way you would come was if Charlie, your little brother, specifically requested your presence.

He wished he understood why. Laura and Neil had been a little too much when he’d encountered them, but they were generally harmless. In his opinion, at least. Santa enjoyed spending time with the family so that had to account for something.

He wouldn’t pressure you to tell him, though. Some things were just better left unsaid.

When Santa was gone, you always hung around him, even if you hated being around the workshop. The alternatives were hanging out with the other elves or sitting at home with Carol, who you were still getting used to and neither were super appealing to you.

Bernard had noticed when you first arrived here that people (or elves) were not your thing. In the beginning, being around anyone but Santa and Charlie would immediately cause you to shut down. He had been determined to win over both the Calvin kids, and his persistence was eventually rewarded tenfold. The two of you ended up becoming close friends, then later a couple. Everyone was really surprised you warmed up to him, none moreso than your father.

He felt extremely blessed to be in the fortunate few who got to see the real you.

You huffed behind him as he walked to the next table. The long hours in the workshop were starting to get to you, he knew. But there was no way you were going to leave, unless he told you to and he wasn’t about to force you out of the comfort that being near him brought.

He did feel a little guilty though, this was probably very exhausting to endure and he wasn’t about to be finished any time soon.

He smiled apologetically back at you as he bent down to oversee the teddy bear fluffing.

While he offered his advice, your gaze wandered around you to the bustling around you to get work done. The amount of elves here made your head spin, back in the regular world being in a place like this would be something you avoided, of course, you had to date a guy… an elf… who worked in one of the busiest places in the world.

“... we can go somewhere quieter.”

You came back to your senses when you realized Bernard was talking to you, his hand gently went up to rest on your forehead. You leaned into the touch, bringing yourself back to reality as his concerned eyes searched your face.

“I’m fine, you have work to do. You can’t leave the workshop,” you swallowed the lump in your throat. Soon dad would be back and then you could spend more time with Carol without feeling awkward. You could make it until then, but Bernard didn’t seem convinced.

He set what he’d picked up from the work table in his other hand back down, patted the elf seated there on the back and turned back to you. Taking your hand, he pulled you along with him to the front doors of the workshop.

“Bernard, what are you doing- you have work and dad-”

Stepping out into the cool air where there were less loud noises and bustling immediately calmed you inside. You still felt tired from the long exposure but at least your senses weren’t being constantly inundated with new stimuli.

He pointed to the edge of the little North Pole village. “Do you remember when we grabbed cocoa and snuck out here while Santa was busy being distracted by a mess Curtis made? And you still wouldn’t talk to me so I did most of the talking?”

You did remember that day. Back in those days, Bernard often looked for moments to steal away with you. He had been so determined to spend time with you, it didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest that you weren’t too keen on making friends. It had been a huge shock for you, so used to the people back in Lakeside. Back there, if you weren’t super extroverted and talkative you just kind of fell to the wayside.

You had never told him but you’d been super bummed that day, it was one of those rare days where you wondered if moving to the North Pole was a good idea. You missed your brother and weirdly, your mother and Neil. It had been a shock to find yourself missing them, considering you’d always been closer to your dad. During the divorce, you’d taken his side which had stung your mother. The relationship ever since had been rocky, but you knew she still wanted the best for you.

Sneaking out for cocoa with someone had been exactly what you had needed that day.

“Yeah. And dad found us hours later. He dragged you back to work, I’ve never seen him so annoyed with you,” you laughed as the two of you began a leisurely stroll. 

His cheeks turned slightly red, as he looked away. “Not one of my brighter moments, I’ll admit. I’ve never had a Santa lecture me like that in the thousands of years I’ve been working here.”

There was comfortable silence between the two of you for a few moments after that as you thought about what he’d said and wondered why he’d brought it up.

“The next time we talked, you spoke to me for the first time outside of forced, curt introductions. I was ecstatic, I think getting in trouble really broke the ice.”

“I felt bad for getting you in trouble. After all, you only suggested leaving because you noticed I was getting uncomfortable in the workshop. And dad shouting orders wasn’t really helping. I felt like I owed you something,” you kicked the snow, smiling, “you just did it again. Risked your spot, even though dad’s not here, to comfort me.”

He looked at you. “It was worth it then and it’s worth it now. You’re worth it, I mean.”

You nudged him with your shoulder, not knowing what to say. After all, everyone here knows Bernard is proud of his position as Santa’s Head Elf. To hear him say he’d risk it any time for you, is a little surprising.

The shock must’ve been apparent on your face because he suddenly stopped walking. At his side, you stopped yourself from walking forward abruptly not expecting the sudden stop. The stop made you lose your balance and he reached out to steady you, realizing that he should’ve warned you vocally before randomly deciding to stop.

“Are you surprised?”

“To hear you’d prioritize anything over work? Surprised is an understatement. I know I can be a little much, especially when dad’s not around-”

Bernard nudged you with his shoulder. “You’re not a little much. You just need time and patience, the best things in life do.”

Your face heated up at his words, it was hard sometimes to be the way you were. To struggle with speaking to people, to fight the urge to isolate yourself from everyone. You had always assumed that was a burden to everyone around you, even the ones who managed to crack your hard shell.

To hear Bernard speak as if it was just perfectly normal…

“We should go get cocoa! On me!” You broke the weird mood that had temporarily settled over the two of you and before he could say anything, began to pull him along in the direction of the nearest spot for cocoa. 

He let you drag him.

Sure, there were a lot of things about you that other people might find annoying but seeing you in moments like this made it all the worthwhile. He rushed to keep up with your pace, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he caught up with you, no longer needing to be dragged.

You smiled and he felt his heart skip a beat.

He needed to take breaks more often.

[writting-stuff-sometimes]

Christmas time - Charles x fem reader

Summary: You return home for Christmas and fin yourself spending it with and old lover and his family.

Warnings: None, just fluff and some angst.

AN: From the topic, you might know since when I've been working on this but I finally decided to finish it, I was going to wait till Christmas to publish it but what the heck. As you can see I have a thing for exes, writing here it's cheaper than therapy. As always feedback it's appreciated, accepting requests, and let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list.

Christmas had always been a confusing time for you, you thought of it as too cheese but at the same time you could spend a whole weekend just watching and crying over Christmas

movies, so now that you were coming back home for the holidays after being away for so long, it felt as if you were in one of them.

You had been living in the US for 5 years, and like in all those stupid chick flicks, you had moved to the other side of the world because you wanted to escape your life after a painful breakup and the US was far enough from everyone you knew, and a certain sport your ex was part of. You were supposed to be studying there for 2 years but then the pandemic hit and you got stuck, you found a job that started as a part time but eventually became full time.

"Mom, are you serious? isn't Christmas a holiday you're supposed to spend with family?" you said as you struggle to wrap a present.

"What are you talking about? The Leclerc's are family! Don't you remember how many vacations we've spend together? the summers at the lake and winters up in the cabin? You, Lorenzo and Charles in your onesies playing in the snow as baby Arthur followed all of you around?"

Now you were kind of getting why you felt how you felt about christmas, your mom was in love with the holiday and it was cute but exhausting at the same time.

"Have you talk to them? I heard they went to the US a couple of times this year" In her defense, she had no idea you and Charles had been dating for a few months, actually as far as you knew only your best friend and Lorenzo knew about it after they found you making out in his kitchen one night after a party.

"No, we lost track of each other after I moved" you lied and returned to your wrapping task, actually Charles did try reaching out to you when he found out you moved and again when he went to race there, but you had all rights to ignore his calls and messages, the day you broke up he had been an ass.

_____________

The fight started when you confronted him about some pictures of him at a nightclub in Austria, you had no problem with him having fun after a stressful weekend, the girl grinding her ass against his body, his hand on her waist and the fact that it wasn't the first time this had happened, was the problem.

"It was a fan, I didn't want to be rude", Clearly this superstar status had gone to his head. "They don't know I have a girlfriend! You want me to be rude?"

"And who decided we shouldn't tell anyone?"

"You know why I don't want them to..."

"Yeah, yeah protecting our privacy, I would buy that story if you weren't going around the fucking world letting girls grind against you every five fucking minutes!"

"Well, I don't know what to tell you, I won't change my mind about it" The defiant look on his face told you everything you needed to know and now it was your turn to make a decision.

"Don't worry, you don't have to lie to your fans anymore" You stormed out of his room, that was the last time you spoke to each other.

You cried for weeks, you actually loved him but seeing pictures of him with a different girl at parties and nightclubs after every race weekend was just too painful. It only took you a couple of weeks to realize that staying in Monaco was a bad idea, his face and name were all over the place. One day, like a miracle fallen from the sky, one of your teachers told you about a scholarship to study in the US, you didn't think it twice and applied, and two months later you were boarding a plane to New York.

A couple of days after you arrived to the US, Charles tried every posible way of getting in touch with you, but you sticked to your decision and ignored all his messages.

You couldn't actually say you had fallen out of love, the good moments had been amazing and those you would cherish forever. _______

"I don't have anything to wear tho" it was a lame excuse but you really wanted to escape the awkward christmas weekend your mom had planned.

"Oh, don't worry about it, I bought you a cute dress, it's in your closet!"

You finished loading the van with the tons of things your mom wanted to take for the weekend-long stay at the Lecrerc's cabin and finally went upstairs to deal with the stress of seeing your ex, you threw yourself on your childhood bed and closed your eyes.

"Hi sweety, can I come in?" Your dad knocked on your door.

"Dad! Of course" You rushed to hug him

"I missed you so much" he said as he kissed your head.

"Miss you too"

"You need to come more often" he brushed your hair like he used to when you were little.

"I know, I wish I could"

"Honey, don't forget to try on the dress" Your mom yelled from downstairs and you sight in exhaustion, you loved your mom but spending the holidays with your ex and his family wasn't on your list for a great christmas.

"I know, but Pascale has been really nice to your mom now that you've been away, you know how much she misses you"

"I was expecting to be just with you guys"

"C'mon sweety, this will be fun. Aren't you excited to see a certain Leclerc?" a mischievous smile on your dad's face made your heart fall to your feet.

"What are you talking about?" you almost choked on your own saliva.

"Darling, we all knew about your crush on Lorenzo, it was endearing" you unclenched your jaw when you heard Lorenzo's name. Your dad wasn't wrong tho when you were like 5 or 6 you had a crush on your friend's big brother; it was natural, you used to spend a lot of time at their house, and he was older and very attractive.

"That was a long time a go, dad" You smiled at the memory.

"I know, but it will be nice to spend some time all together, specially after they lost Hervé and our only daughter decided to move so far away" He looked at you with such loving eyes, you could just say yes with your head "Your mom's been quiet for too long, let me go see what that lady is up to" he hugged you again and left your room.

You walked to your closet and took the dress cover bag.

"Are you serious?" you couldn't help to say out loud as you took the red body con dress from the hanger. It was a beautiful, but it being ferrari red felt like life was mocking you. You took a couple of calming breaths as you tried to accept that you were fucked, the only "party" attire in your suitcase wasn't exactly family gathering material and it was too late to go shopping, that dress was your only option.

The next morning before the sun was up you were already in the back of your mom's van on your way to the country side, it was a two hour drive to the Leclerc's cabin, you tried to catch some sleep and fight the jet lag, but anxiety wouldn't let you and before you knew it you were parking next to a red alfa romeo.

"Oh my God!! Y/n!!! darling, what a wonderful surprise" a surprised Pascale rushed to hug you as soon as you got off the van.

"Hi, it's nice to see you too" You hugged her back, you did really like Pascale, she had always been like a second mother.

As she turned to greet your dad, you turned to your mother.

"They didn't knew I was coming?" You asked in a low voice.

"No, I wanted for it to be a cute surprise" Your mom said with a big smile and then turned to hug her best friend.

"Come on in, the boys are going to be so happy to see you" She took you by the shoulders and dragged you inside the house as you pulled your suitcase.

"I wouldn't bet on it" you thought to yourself.

"Boys! come help with the bags!" She yelled as she entered the house "Wait 'till they see you!, want something to drink?" She pulled you inside the kitchen.

"Mom, where are we putting tomorrow's dinner thi..." Charles cut himself off and stopped in the middle of the kitchen entrance when he saw you.

"Mate, move! you're in the way" Arthur pushed Charles to the side walking in with a couple of bags "Y/N!" the youngest Leclerc let the bags fall over the kitchen table and rushed to hug you.

"Hi, Art" You said almost out of breath from the tight hug. "Oh my, you look so grown up!"

"Don't be fooled, it's just the outside" Said Lorenzo as he entered the kitchen with more bags, setting them on the table and pushing Arthur away to hug you "It's so nice to see you"

"Same" You hugged him back.

"This is a Christmas miracle" Lorenzo said as he turned to look at Charles with a cheeky grin on his face, he knew exactly what was happening and he found it incredibly amusing "I'm so glad I didn't skip christmas this year" He whispered as he walked past Charles.

"Shut up" Charles whispered back.

"Hi, Y/n" Charles left the bags on the floor, walked towards you and got his arms around your body as you shily hugged him back, his scent and body heat felt so familiar like it had been just a couple of days since the last time you two had been cuddling in his bed. "It's nice to see you," he said against your ear, his soft warm breath brushing your neck giving you goosebumps.

"It's nice to see you too"

You could feel Lorenzo's sight on you as he was bitting his cheek trying not to burst out laughing at the awkwardness between you two, thank God it was only him who noticed.

All of you finished unloading the van and tried to organize the sleeping situation.

"I can totally sleep on the couch, Pascale, don't worry about it" You said as soon as she offered to give you Charles' room.

"Oh no darling, you're not sleeping on the couch, Charles can sleep with Lorenzo or with Arthur, don't worry about it"

"But..."

"Don't even try, you won't convince her, let me" Said Charles taking your bag from your hand and walked up the stairs.

You followed him to his room. As soon as you walked in a thousand memories rushed trough your mind, during your relationship you had gone up to that cabin a few times, it was the only place you two could be alone.

"Thanks" You said in a low voice when he left your bag on his bed.

"You're welcome" He turned to look at you, you held his gaze a couple of seconds before his beautiful green eyes got your heart rushing a thousand miles and you had to look somewhere else trying to catch your breath, you walked to his closet to hang the dress bag.

"I called you, several times"

"I know" You said as you awkwardly played with the plastic material.

"I wanted to..."

"Mate, mom is calling you" Arthur walked in startling both of you.

"I'll be right there"

"Now" Said Arthur and walked down the stairs.

"We should go" you nervously said and followed Art downstairs.

Your mom, Pascale, Enzo and yourself prepared lunch as your dad talked to Arthur and Charles about the last racing season.

The whole group sat to have lunch, Pascale asked you about your life in New York, your apartment, your job, your friends.

"...and is there a special someone?" your mom's friend asked with a mischievous grin on her face, you noticed how Charles tensed at the question and Lorenzo noticed too.

"Yeah, are you breaking many hearts?" Lorenzo added, softly kicking his brother under the table, Charles flipped him off discretely as he "scratched" his cheek.

"Not as many as you Enzo, are you still dating Adrianne?" You diverted the attention successfully.

After lunch everyone moved to sit outside around the deck fireplace, night came and it started snowing which meant it was time to go to sleep, there was a lot to do the next morning.

You laid in Charles's bed, his scent was as intoxicating as it was soothing, you couldn't lie, you missed that smell, once you even ended up dating a guy just because he used the same cologne.

After an hour of trying to fall asleep and failing miserably at it, you gave up and decided to go prepare yourself a hot cup of tea. You got your robe on and walked down to the kitchen.

You prepared your tea and went to sit outside by the fireplace, the snow had stopped, it was cold but a couple of logs were still burning to give just enough heat to make it enjoyable.

"You're going to catch a cold" Charles' voice scared you, making you spill some hot tea over your hand.

"Ahhh, ouch"

"Shit!" Charles rushed to your side taking some snow from one of the chairs, he kneeled in front of you and placed the snow over your hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't meant to scare you" he turned to look at you.

"It's ok" He kept his hand on yours, and you stood still for a while as the snow melted between your hands.

"I'm sorry" he said again.

"It's ok, it wasn't that hot anymore"

"I'm not talking about the tea" his voice in that low pitch that let you know this was a serious matter.

"Charles, you don't need to... I don't...I'm.." You had no idea what to say, you had rehearsed this conversation a thousand times in your head and had worked amazing responses to every possible apology or complaint, but having him right there, kneeling in front of you with his hand caressing yours was just too much for your brain to process, you couldn't even look at him.

"Listen, I was an asshole, I let stupid ideas get to my head, I did a lot of stupid things, and I've regretted them every single day since the moment you walked out my door."

"Y/n" he took your chin and made you look up at him "I'm sorry, I've missed you so fucking much" your chest moved faster, no coherent thought in your mind.

"It's getting cold, we should go inside" you removed your hand from his and walked directly to his room without looking back. You were overwhelmed, you still had feelings for him, but it had been too long, you had a life in New York. It broke your heart to think that maybe you had wasted your only chance to be with him.

It was around 3 or 4 am when you finally cried yourself to sleep.

A soft knock on the door woke you up.

"Come in" you sat on the bed and tried to fix your hair.

"Good morning" Lorenzo walked in the room, a tray in his hands with a cup of coffee and a couple pancakes.

"Hi, thanks" You took the tray from his hands and took a small sip of coffee, it was so good.

"You're welcome, I figured that after staying up late you could use some breakfast in bed" You looked at him confused.

"My window it's right above the deck"

"Oh, sorry about that"

"Don't worry about it. But, he really is sorry, you have no idea how many times he begged for me to call you, he knew you would answer my calls, but to be honest I didn't think he deserved you then"

"And now?"

"I've been to New York, it ain't that cool, and I would love to see you around Monaco and the tracks more often" He winked at you and walked out of the room.

You had your breakfast in bed as you tried to figure out what the fuck were you supposed to do with what you felt and what Lorenzo had told you. It was almost noon, you had a shower and finally walked downstairs to help with the Christmas preparations for that evening.

The smell coming from the kitchen was amazing, your mom and Pascale were the greatest cooks you've ever met, actually, their food was one of the things you missed the most after you moved.

"Oh, I almost forgot, I ordered some bread from the town and I think we might need a couple more wine bottles" Pascale said as she looked at a message on her phone.

"I can go pick it up" You offered, you were used to being questioned by your mom every time you called home, but now there were two of them bombarding you with a ton of questions, making you feel a bit overwhelmed, so a lonely trip to the village seemed like a great way to take a breather.

"Darling, I don't know, you haven't driven on this side of the road for a while, and the road might be snowed" If only your mother knew how many times you had taken Charles's car out for a spin and done pretty reckless stunts.

"I can drive you" Charles offered walking in the kitchen.

"Yes, let Charles drive you" Great, it had gone from bad to worse.

"But...ok" You knew trying to convince your mom to let you go on your own was a lost cause and saying no to the offer would seem weird and offensive, you took your jacket and walked outside.

You both were so nervous, the only sound in the car was the music coming from the speakers, you couldn't help to look at him out of the corner of your eye, he was tense as he kept a tight grip on the steering wheel and you found it incredibly attractive, one of the things you enjoyed the most when dating Charles was looking at him as he was driving, the way his hands worked the steering wheel and his sight focused on the road was something that turned you on.

You finally got to the village and walked inside a small store, you split the list of things and walked your own way to get them all.

"Y/n?" someone called your name behind you.

"Oh my, Ed, hi!" You hugged the guy standing behind you, he had been one of your uni classmates.

"It's so nice to see you, how's everything, how's New York?"

"It's good, how are you?"

"Same old, same old, how long are you going to be here? We should go get a coffee or something"

"Y/n" Charles spoke before you could answer "Two chardonnays should be good? we have 3 merlots at home" He said showing the two wine bottles he was holding in his left hand, as his right arm grabbed you nonchalantly by the waist.

"Oh, sorry mate, hi, Charles" Charles left the wine bottles in the shopping cart and extended his hand to shake Ed's but kept his arm around you.

"Hi, no worries, you are... Charles Leclerc"

"Yeah"

"Wow, uhm, big fan"

"Thanks" Charles smiled at your friend, from the outside this all seemed innocent and nice, but you knew he was marking his territory. "We need to hurry, we still need to stop by the bakery" He said looking at you in a way that made your heart skip a beat, it had been so long since he had looked at you in that way.

"I should go too, I still got some presents to buy, it was nice to see you y/n, and nice to meet you Charles, good luck on the next season"

"Thanks, mate, appreciated" Charles shook his hand, and as you took a step forward to kiss your friend goodbye, his arm never left your body. When Ed was out of sight you turned to look at Charles inquisitively as he took the spices from your hand and placed them in the tiny shopping cart.

"Let's go" He pushed the cart as if nothing had happened and walked to the register.

"Stop looking at me like that" he finally said as you were on the drive back to the cabin.

"That was low"

"I don't know what you're talking about" he faked innocence.

"Make him think we're together, that was low"

"You went with it, didn't you?" You instantly blushed at his comment.

"I did it just so you wouldn't look like a fool"

A soft breathy laugh left his mouth as he turned to stop in a hiking trail parking lot.

"What are you doing?" you asked confused as he turned off the car.

"Come" he got off the car, confused you did as he said, he leaned against the hood of the car and you walked towards him.

"Charles?" You asked as you stood a safe distance from him, your arms crossed over your chest.

"We need to talk"

"Charles, please, I..." You rubbed your eyes in slight despair, you were pretty much in the middle of nowhere there was no escaping from him this time.

"Please, just listen to me, if when I'm done you don't want to talk about it anymore, we'll get in the car and we never talk about this ever again, but right now, just listen to me, ok?" his beautiful green eyes made you weak and you couldn't say no.

"Ok"

"Y/n, I really am sorry, I swear nothing happened with any of those girls, I never cheated on you..."

"Charles..."

"Shut... up!" His voice was a soft growl as he took you by your arms and pulled you a little closer to him, you stared into his eyes, frozen "Please, listen to me, I know I've said I'm sorry like a million times in the last 24 hours, but I really feel like I owe you so many apologies. I was an asshole, I could try to explain myself but at the end of the day I was young and stupid, and I let this "famous driver" shit get to my head, I lost myself, and on the way, I ended up losing the most amazing and wonderful woman ever. I pushed you away and you had all right to kick me out of your life, but please, if there's just one small part of you that would like to try this again, please, I'm begging you, just give me one more chance, please"

You felt your heart rush, you had thought about this moment a million times, and 90% of them the answer was negative, not because you didn't love him, but because you could see how happy he was without you, winning races, taking pictures with fans, partying with the rest of the drivers, having the freedom he seemed to miss when he was with you.

"Y/N?"

"How do I know this isn't going to end up badly? You've been single for the last 5 years, are you sure you want to give up all you have?"

"I'm not the same idiot you left 5 years ago, I swear, I don't need anyone but you, I don't WANT anyone but you" He pulled you closer, his arms around your waist in a tight hug as you keep your arms crossed over your chest trying to put as much distance between you two. "I know I'm asking for a lot, you have a life somewhere else and I swear I wouldn't be asking for another chance if I didn't actually mean it, I swear on everything that's sacred for me, that I'm going to do my best to make this work and make you the happiest girl in the world, but please give me another chance"

"Are you sure this isn't just the holiday blues? what if I hadn't come this Christmas, would you feel the same?" Your rational side fighting hard against the side that just wanted to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him.

"Do you really think I just came up with this?" A soft smile escaped his lips as he unhooked one of his arms from around your waist and took his cell phone from his jacket, he clicked around for a bit, then turned the screen towards you as he slowly scrolled through the screen, there were dozens of undelivered messages, you could only catch a few words but most of them were of how much he missed you and begging for you to forgive him and come back. "The last one is from last week, I've missed you every day for five years"

You turned to look at him, this movement from your head making the tears that flooded your eyes fall down your cheeks. He got his phone inside his jacket and cleaned your tears with his fingers.

"I love you, y/n, and you can say no, I don't want to force you to do anything, you don't even have to give me an answer right now, but just think about it, ok?"

You couldn't talk and you just nodded your head.

"Good, now let's go, it's getting dark" He leaned in and kissed your lips so softly that if your eyes had been closed you would have doubted it ever happen. He led you to the passenger seat, opened the door for you, and then went to get inside the car.

You drove in silence again, you knew your answer but were you making the right decision?

As he pulled next to your parent's van you fixed yourself as much as you could.

"Darling, what took you so long?" Pascale walked towards you to help with the bags.

"Sorry, I found an old friend and caught up talking" You excused yourself before Charle could say anything.

As the boys helped with setting the table and bringing in more wood for the fireplace, you couldn't help to notice how good was the relationship between your dad and the Leclerc boys, he had turned into their father figure and it filled your heart, you knew this kind of relationship between your dad and any other guy in your life was going to be impossible. Tears started forming in your eyes again.

"All done" you said setting the last couple of cookies on the cooling rack "I'm going to get dressed" You quickly removed the apron and rushed upstairs before anyone could notice your watery eyes.

As you walked inside the bedroom you saw a small red box on the bed, you took it and opened it slowly to find a beautiful gold tuberose necklace and a handwritten note inside.

"I've had this for years and I finally got the chance to give it to you, I remember that night you called our love a "Tuberose love" because it seemed it only bloomed hidden in the dark, but this is a gold tuberose, it can bloom day or night, as long as it's around your neck.

I love you, always,

Charles"

You cried and held the beautiful necklace in your hand.

You showered and got ready, you looked at yourself in the mirror, the red dress looked better than you ever imagined, maybe that Ferrari red wasn't a bad idea after all, maybe that color could grow on you again. You got the necklace around your neck, the gold piece shining perfectly over the fabric.

"Come on kids, it's time" Your dad yelled from downstairs, you took a last deep breath and walked down to meet everyone.

Charles' eyes lit up as soon as he saw you enter the dining room, his sight focused on the gold detail hanging from your neck and he couldn't help to smile, he pulled the chair by his side and gestured you to take a seat next to him.

You sat by his side as everyone else took their places, he looked around and you took his hand under the table, he turned to look at you and you noticed his eyes were red as if he was about to cry.

"All good?" you whispered worried

"Never been better" he smiled and gave your hand a little squeeze.

You had dinner, the best Christmas dinner to date.

It was close to 3 am when the parents decided it had been enough for them and left for bed, Lorenzo and Arthur went to get some more wood and Charles took the chance to sit next to you on the living room floor, putting a blanket over your bodies as he placed his arm around your shoulders.

"Thanks" you said taking the necklace and looking at it.

"You're welcome, I'm glad you liked it" He kissed your hair.

"I love it... not as much as I love you, tho" You finally said, his face turned fast to look at you as you turned to look at him.

"So... you...uhm" He stutter

"Did I just make Charles Leclerc stutter?" you smiled teasingly.

"Shut up" he said as he took your face and pulled you in for a kiss, that kiss you had waited for so long.

"What the hell?" Arthur yelled as he dropped the logs on the living room floor.

"Well, this time it can't be a secret, this one can't keep his mouth shut" Said Lorenzo leaving the logs next to the fireplace.

"This time? why am I always the last one to find this shit out!?, You have a lot of explaining to do" Said Arthur inquisitively as he sat across from you.

Tag List: @wtrmlnsgr94, @ricsaigaslec

[usedpidemo]

the craziest christmas party ive ever attended...(storytime!)

God, the flu fucking sucks. Imagine being healthy for three straight years, working out as often as possible, and then the one time you get caught in the middle of a rain, the next day you begin falling ill. Headaches. Body aches. Cough. Dry throat. Completely zapped all my energy and three years of positive momentum just like that.

One week later, after several trips to the hospital, plenty of rest and medications in between, I was beginning to pick myself back up. If there was any silver lining, I lost weight during that time period because I couldn't eat anything. Even so, I still felt...off. I was forgetting things more often than usual, my clarity and awareness would disappear at random times, and it felt like my body was moving on its own. I felt like I had no control over myself.

This is practically the reason why I've kind of disappeared over the last month or so. The illness completely took me down and I've basically forgotten how to write :< Seriously, I feel like the main character in Memento, trying to pick up the pieces of what the hell happened. I'm getting better with each passing day, though, so hopefully this will all be behind me as we enter the holiday season.

Anyway, it's not often that this country gets to host an international entertainment event, let alone one of the premier Korean awards. No idea, I don't really watch these things at all. The idea of seeing so many K-pop acts and actors in one setting appealed to me. Not to mention the actual lineup? NewJeans! Le sserafim! Mother Eunbi! Itzy! Stayc! Kep1er! Kim Sejeong! Many of these acts are either making their stage debut or have returned numerous times. This was easily a must attend. Who knows when we'll get another opportunity like this, especially after the controversy and backlash surrounding the handling of the ceremony.

I got fortunate buying the tickets. To be fair, they were expensive by local concert standards; 50 USD at the very back to 450 for VIP, which is a significant punch up compared to a typical K-pop concert even solo held in the very same arena. Not to mention, the site automatically picks the tickets for you, rather than give buyers the freedom of choice to select specific seats. It also helps that the pricing turned plenty of people off, on top of previous negative experiences in that arena for other fans. Even better was when I actually entered the venue; since there were so many vacant seats during the beginning, we were moved up to the very front, right where the artists were all seated ahead of us.

Honestly. Shitty camera aside, the scenes were priceless.

I admit I mostly went for the female acts, especially my girlies Le sserafim and Eunbi, but I've learned to give so much respect and appreciate everyone who performed. Regardless of their status and popularity, nugu or main event, the crowd was electric and passionate: they would cheer, sing along to the songs, and interact with the performer when they would ask. There wasn't a dull moment all throughout the seven hour program.

Speaking of seven hours, I can see why I don't watch this shit live: it can be taxing to the mind and body. I had to get up during one of the longer awardings, one where they gave it to like 10 different artists just to stretch my legs. I respect what Wonyoung, Daniel, and Hanbin did to host, cause I'm pretty sure either way my legs would end up melting like jelly after everything that had transpired.

Man. NewJeans. Freaking NewJeans. I understand why they're so beloved and revered like they're the second coming: they truly love their fans. And holy shit, the pop from the audience when they entered the venue for the first time, and they were practically the main characters of the show. Every little thing they did was met with raucous applause. They waved at us like a dozen times all throughout the show and were having fun from beginning to end. Also, the crowd went fucking crazy for their performance. OMG into ETA is insanely hard.

AND THE AUDACITY TO FOLLOW UP NEWJEANS WITH MOTHERFUCKING LE SSERAFIM?! Best transition ever! Their set was even better than MAMA: Perfect Night (holy shit that choreo) into Eve, Psyche, and Bluebeard's Wife (holy shit that choreo). Their aura was through the roof! Unsurprisingly, they also had the crowd going nuclear.

I'm just gonna blitz through the section of favorite performances because if I had to describe them all this would be longer than any of my fics in recent times. Kim Jaejoong is a fucking legend and I was shook when he transitioned from balladeer to a goddamn rockstar. The opening with &Team and SB19 with Gento set the tone for the rest of the show. Kep1er's dance breaks. GOD. I wish it wasn't accompanied with flashing lights cause they were so fucking hot. Mother Kwon Eunbi proved why she's goddamn mother! ITZY had me singing fucking Cake of all songs. AKMU was quirky and fun and thats why I love K-pop. Also, the sibling dynamic reminded me of my rather strange and turbulent relationship with my sister. Just a random anecdote.

The ending was where shit was dialed up to eleven. I feel very lukewarm towards Stray Kids' newer releases post Back Door, but they absolutely brought the heat by opening with Maniac. Get Lit then Topline was when they brought everyone to their feet, including us the audience! And if that wasn't enough, here comes BooSeokSoon (BSS) to end the show on the perfect high. Like none of us were sitting down once it ended.

On top of all the performances, there's the interactions too. Oh man. I was hoping that Le sserafim, ITZY, Kep1er, or Eunbi—any combination of these—would be seated on our side, but we got NewJeans. And they kept interacting with us. So much. Every single member noticed me at least once and I somehow got Hanni on camera. Insanity. If that wasn't enough, NMIXX were also placed on our side, and Lily, Haewon, Bae, and Kyujin waved at us multiple times as well, including during the final goodbyes. STAYC's Yoon went around to wave to everyone in the audience during the intermission period, and after their initial entrance into the venue, Sumin and Seeun waved at us. I really wish I had my cameras on but I was so focused on capturing anyone's attention! It worked; I also got the attention of several other groups, from ZeroBaseOne to Tempest to SB19 to Sakurazaka46. They transferred Le sserafim over to our side late into the ceremony and I was hoping they would interact with us; it wasn't meant to be. I don't have any negative feelings cause I still got copiously blessed with so many other acts.

I don't know what's gonna happen moving forward. Considering the backlash and issues that have sprung in regards to the handling of the ceremony, there's a good likelihood an award show of this scale will ever be hosted again. Or maybe the energy shown by the crowd will inspire future ceremonies, like MAMA or Golden Disc. Who knows. What I do know is that everything about this felt like both a dream and a movie. To see many of my favorites, gain respect for groups I hadn't heard of till last week, and just attend an award show in general is a damn good way to end the year.

[science-lings]

I've been thinking a lot about Phoenix's family, and I got carried away so I'm going to put the whole essay below the cut, I'm so normal about him

I'm sorry there's just no way that Phoenix has any sort of normal family situation, not just because they're never mentioned even in passing as he goes through extremely major life events, but also because of how he is as a person. You cannot convince me that the guy who fell head over heels for Dahlia two seconds after meeting her had any sort of reliable support system in his life. When she got arrested the only person he could think about was a guy he hadn't seen since they were both nine instead of any current person who would likely care that he almost got poisoned and arrested for murder.

While I think it would be nice if he had lesbian moms who loved him, it just doesn't quite fit in with what we know about Phoenix. I mean, even in the WAA/WTA the only photograph on display is Zak's, and if there isn't a better person to put on the wall than the biological father of his daughter who abandoned her, that's pretty sad. (though I personally like to think that his portrait was there specifically as a target for things like darts and throwing knives). Plus, we already know from the thing with Dahlia that Phoenix's primary way of dealing with trauma and abusive people is just to pretend nothing happened and force himself to forget about them.

That's not even mentioning this guy's abandonment issues and complete willingness to adopt anyone he finds into his found family with zero hesitation. He meets Ema once for a few days, someone he has no personal connection to, but because she reminded him of Maya he stays in contact with her at some capacity to the point that he keeps her investigative tools with him and can have his name be used to gain her favor. Also, there's that new years art where she gets drunk with the Wright's and Apollo. And there are several more young adults/teenagers like that, he's got that foster kid to foster dad energy.

What I think makes the most sense is either that he was given up for adoption/ was an orphan in the foster care system who was passed around a lot, never getting too attached to one family, which led to his abandonment issues, or that he had a normal family life until something happened that estranged them from him. As a staunch believer in Transmasc Phoenix my thoughts are that he had transphobic parents so when he left for university he cut them off and changed his full name which explains why he is so desperate for emotional connection at that time. He suddenly has no one but a dream to find Miles and a girlfriend whose red flags he's completely blind to.

But honestly, there are so many reasons that people could come up with that would also make sense for his character. Maybe they were emotionally abusive and since everyone around him has dead or horrifically bad parents he's just not going to ever bring it up because who is he to complain when his besties are Maya Fey and Miles Edgeworth. Maybe they were just absent a lot and he had to take care of himself (and perhaps younger siblings) until he just couldn't take it anymore. Maybe they just tried to get him a girlfriend to settle down with one too many times and he just refuses to visit them, not even on holidays like Christmas or new years. It's just fascinating to me that there's absolutely nothing about them, I think there was even one of those little (official?) comics that poked fun at the fact that he doesn't really have parents, he may not even know who they are.

I also stand behind all of the ideas from my Phoenix Family HCs Poll because all of them would be so fun to explore even if some of them are total crack HCs. Tigre is only 16 years older than Phoenix but you can't say it's not possible that he messed around in high school and his girlfriend just gave up the kid for adoption and it would be so funny if Phoenix had to put his own father into prison after he pretended to be him.

In my Fem!Phoenix AU where I'm planning on expounding upon her relationship with the Feys and her own spiritual power (Phoenix does canonically talk to ghosts sometimes), the spirit of Ryunosuke found her and kind of became her imaginary friend who appears sometimes because I love him.

Even the idea of the goddess of law making him as an indestructible little terror on the legal system would be fascinating to expand upon. I would love to read about the whole concept of law being turned into a kind of religion, is she a single omniscient god (is she single?) or is she part of a larger pantheon? What would that mean for Phoenix?

I just can't even fathom that there's something normal going on with Phoenix and his family, I think he should pull an Apollo and secretly have the most batshit family backstory. Just looking at this guy and you know he has some kinds of issues, he was an art/theater major, he's got to be a little bit of that flavor of fucked up.

[mj-iza-writer]

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through my home not a creature was stirring. Well at least maybe one.

Whumpee tiptoed past my room, and down the stairs they slank. Having no idea, I to was awake.

Down by the tree, they pulled their blanket tight. They couldn't believe this was the night.

A night they hoped and prayed for for so long, they now got their wish, it was finally here.

Whumpee adjusted the cookies and ensured the hot chocolate was warm, for old St Nick was sure to be near.

"Please keep them safe", Whumpee quietly prayed for Santa. They hoped he wouldn't forget.

Whumpee often felt forgotten those several Christmas nights. Whumper's house wasn't at all jolly and bright. It was to him just another night.

A noise startled Whumpee, they jumped in fright.

Loud foot steps on the roof this very night.

Some dust spilled from the fireplace, Whumpee gulped as heavy boots appeared just in sight.

Soon Whumpee looked up at a person who matched Caretaker's explanation on what Santa looked like.

"Sa-Santa?", Whumpee whispered fearfully.

"Hello Whumpee, how I've missed visiting you", Santa sat down, "I'm sorry I haven't visited you for so many years. Whumper often waited to make sure I didn't come see you. I've never forgotten you, I promise", Santa smiled happily, "I'm so happy you're with Caretaker now."

"Now here is everything I was never able to leave you", Santa poked his nose, and presents appeared, "you must wait until morning so Caretaker can help you."

Whumpee quickly nodded, "yes sir, you really mean it? You never forgot me?"

Santa held open his arms to welcome Whumpee for a hug.

"Never, I forget no one. Even Whumper gets coal", Santa chuckled to himself, with a "ho ho ho."

"Thankyou Santa for everything", Whumpee wiped their eyes.

"And don't worry, Caretaker has gifts as well", Santa winked, "I know you'll worry about him."

With one more hug Santa waved goodbye, "I'll be back next year, Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year."

As Santa went up the chimney Whumpee fell to the ground and sobbed at the thought of Santa not forgetting them.

**stomp... stomp... swoosh**

Caretaker jumped from his bed to see what was the matter, he had hoped it wasn't Whumpee who made that big clatter.

He glanced out the window in time to see it, a sleigh flew by, pulled by nine reindeer.

Caretaker quickly went down the steps, he found Whumpee sobbing on the floor.

Whumpee turned to see Caretaker there.

"He-he didn....didn't forget me sir."

Caretaker's heart melted for Whumpee, what a sight.

"Merry Christmas Whumpee, he would never forget you."

After putting Whumpee to bed again, cuddling a stuffed toy they had found in the pile of gifts Caretaker went back down stairs to assess the pile.

"This is a lot", Caretaker marveled.

They noticed a note beside Santa's cookies.

"Dear Caretaker, these are all gifts that I wasn't able to deliver to Whumpee these last few years. I hope you are okay with this. There are also gifts for you as well. Thankyou for taking care of them. Santa."

Caretaker read the note over and over, each time more tears flooded their eyes.

"Thankyou Santa, it's an honor", Caretaker smiled, "have a safe flight."

Enjoy your holidays however you celebrate, and if you don't celebrate at all I hope you have a great day. I qlso wish everyone a Happy New Year. You are all amazing, and I'm so happy to be part of this community. -MJ

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all. @villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived @sacredwrath @porschethemermaid @monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz @bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13 @notpeppermint @cyborg0109

[swimmingismywholelife]

Joy

Summary: João decides to take you around the city of your dreams during the most wonderful time of the year.

Warnings: fluff

WC: 1.3K

A/N: 🎶On the sixth day of Ficmas my writer gave to me, a João fic that's really fluffy 🎶 I apologize for the lack of posts! Life got in the way and I'm trying my best to keep up with the schedule. I promise I'll still give you guys 12 different fics for 12 different people by the end of the year (and hopefully a few bonuses to make up for it!). Anyways, I've been in love with João these days and it's kind of a problem so yeah here's me being in love with him for however many words this ends up being!

Link for the Song: Joy

"I hope love spreads all over the world

I pray to the heavens

That this night can shine with the song of angels."

~~~

"Are you ready, amor?" you heard your boyfriend calling from down the stairs.

"Almost!" you shouted back, quickly putting your earrings in. "Give me a minute!"

You could feel João's eye roll as you looked over at yourself in the mirror for a final time. You wanted everything about this day to be perfect.

João had a busy schedule despite it being the holiday season. He had several games approaching including a friendly in America a few days before Christmas. Even still, he always made time for you. This was your first Christmas together and he wanted to do something special. You told him you didn't need anything fancy and that just his company was more than enough. João refused, claiming it wasn't good enough

"Que linda," João said breathlessly as you walked down the stairs. "Come here, give me a spin!"

He took your hand gently and twirled you around, staring at you with admiration. He brought you in closer and lightly kissed you, making your heart skip a beat.

"I'm not even dressed in anything special," you whispered against his lips. "It's too cold to be fashionable."

"You're beautiful in anything you wear," he replied, kissing you again.

You playfully pushed him away, attempting to hide your blushing cheeks.

"Are you excited?" he asked.

"Mhm," you said. "It's been my dream since I was a kid to see Barcelona during this time of year."

"Then the adventure awaits you, princesa," João said, kissing the back of your hand. "Our ride is here to take you on the best date of your life."

"To the city!" you grinned excitedly.

Ever since you'd seen a picture of the Catalonian city as a kid in one of your mother's photobooks, you knew you had to be there one day. She lived there briefly for school, and she fondly told you stories about her experiences and how she fell in love with the city. After you finished school, you knew that you wanted those experiences for yourself. So you made your way to Barcelona, where it turned out to be better than you could've ever imagined.

But more than anything, you'd always wanted to spend Christmas in Barcelona. Your mother always described it as one of the most magical places she'd ever been to. The people were kind and friendly, the food was always amazing, the music was lively, and the lights were out of this world. You just knew you had to be a part of that.

It was João's idea to visit the markets for your date. Since you didn't want anything fancy and he wanted to do something special for you, it was a happy medium that you gratefully accepted.

You gasped as your taxi drove closer to La Sagrada Família, your face moving towards the window to get a better look. To say the sight was enchanting would be an understatement. It wasn't that dark out yet, but even still your breath was taken away. Garlands and wreaths filled the streets of Barcelona, greens, golds, and reds decorating almost every part of the city. Everything was covered in a light dusting of snow, making it look like a scene straight out of a movie.

"Esto es Barcelona," the taxi driver said, noticing your awestruck face. "Es la mejor ciudad del mundo."

(This is Barcelona. It's the best city in the world.)

"Sí," you agreed. "Es como un sueño."

(Yes, it's like a dream.)

João stared at you fondly. You were generally a bubbly person, but seeing the twinkle in your eyes as you took in everything made his heart stop. He'd never seen you so happy and it made him fall in love with you even more.

The taxi arrived just outside the markets. You made a move to open your door before João whacked your hands away.

"No!" he said. "That's my responsibility!"

You giggled as he quickly ran out the car to open your door like a gentleman. Even though you knew he was being dramatic, he still managed to make you blush anyway.

"Bienvenida a Barcelona, princesa," he said, sticking his hand out for you to take. "Espero que tengas la aventura de tu vida."

(Welcome to Barcelona, Princess. I hope you have the adventure of a lifetime.)

You took his hand and humored him.

"Thank you my love," you said as he kissed the back of your hand.

"¡Muchas gracias, Señor!" you said, peeking your head back into the taxi.

"De nada," he replied. "Disfruta de la ciudad."

(You're welcome. Enjoy the city.)

"Es increíble," you said, your attention now fully on the city in front of you. "It's better than any of the pictures in my mother's photobook or any of the stories she told."

"What should we do first?" João asked, also amazed at the hustle and bustle of the market. "You pick."

Your stomach made a loud noise, making the both of you laugh. "I guess eating would be a good idea."

You made your way to the different food stands, squealing softly at the sight around you. The sun was now beginning to set, meaning the lights around you slowly started to grow brighter. Each stand was decorated in its own unique way, giving them a distinctive and beautiful feel. Barcelona's culture and heritage was really shining through as people from all around you walked from stand to stand.

João couldn't have been more in love. He'd been fortunate enough to live out his dreams, playing for a team he'd wanted to be a part of since his childhood. And he was even more fortunate that he got to meet his dream girl at the same time. And seeing you so happy made his heart swell. He knew that he had to keep the smile that was permanently etched onto your face every day for the rest of your lives.

"Muchas gracias," you said to the street vendor as they handed you food. You happily munched on your different, taking in the scenery around.

"Is this everything you've dreamed about?" João asked.

"Es mejor que mis sueños," you answered, your cheeks puffing with food.

(It's better than my dreams.)

He couldn't help himself, leaning over to quickly kiss your cheek.

"What?" you said.

"You're just cute," he said, "and I love you."

"I love you too," you said.

You stopped by as many of the shops as you could, stuffing your faces with both local and foreign cuisines alike, while also buying trinkets to remember your trip. You were so warm with excitement that you couldn't feel how much your feet hurt from walking or how cold the air was. It was a world that had only been a part of your imagination for as long as you could remember, but it didn't compare to the real deal at all. And being with João only made things even better.

João checked his watch. "Baby, let's go find a place to watch the light show."

"Sounds good to me!" you said, throwing out your trash. "I wanna be able to see everything!"

The light show was probably what you were most excited to see. The sun had completely disappeared, the twinkling of the Christmas lights illuminating the streets. The cathedral had a special Christmas show planned and you couldn't wait to see what they had in store.

"Thank you for taking me here," you said to João softly as you sat in the perfect spot. You leaned your head onto his shoulder, his arms wrapping around you. "I really appreciate it."

He kissed the top of your head, pulling you in closer. "Any time, princesa. Was it everything you wanted it to be?"

"It was even better because I have you," you answered shyly. "I was already in love with the city, but being here with you makes it even more special. I'm here in the city of my dreams with the love of my life. There's nothing more special than this."

João hummed in agreement. "And you deserve it all. Thank you for letting me be a part of this."

"I love you, João."

"And I love you, Y/N."

Nothing more needed to be said. And underneath the moonlight and the sparkling lights of La Sagrada Família in the company of each other, you truly felt the magic of Christmas.

Taglist: @shadowscorch @nyctophilic0vitnir @thoseboysinblue @neverinadream @notsoattractivearenti @lovelynikol16 @chilwellspulisic @pulisicsgirl @lizzypotter14

[crystallizedtwilight]

Hi!! I've never been to Disney in my life but I'm going next month for a senior trip and I have no idea what to expect or look for, do you have anywhere you'd recommend checking out? Or any good places to get good food or cool souvenirs? Orrrrr just some of your favorite places? :0

Disneyland (CA) or Disney World (FL)?

I'm always at Disneyland bc I have a family member who gets me in for freeeee BUT there's some overlap with FL, so maybe this could still be useful! I also didn't realize I had SO MUCH to say so this got very long whoops!

TOP 5 MUST RIDES: 1. Space Mountain - Perfection. Best ride there. 2. Thunder Mountain - Fun and a decently long ride time! 3. Pirates of the Caribbean - Classic 4. Mickey & Minnie's Runaway Railway - Cute and clever! 5. Matterhorn - Bobsled only in CA, not FL.

Rides that are NOT worth it (imho):

Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run - Glorified VR you WILL be forced to share with strangers if you're not a party of 6

Star Tours - Gives many people motion sickness.

Teacups - The ones in CA have a SPEED CAP! So no matter how fast you turn they're just slow (FL doesn't though so go crazy).

Rides that are worth the wait, but the wait can be 2 hours and not everyone has that kinda time:

Rise of the resistance - Very impressive, even if you're not a star wars fan. However, the wait is usually 80-120 min and if you only have one day to spend at the park IDK if it's worth missing like two other rides

Indiana Jones - Very fun! However, always a long wait and BREAKS more often than any other ride I've ever seen, so there's a chance you could be waiting for an hour, it breaks, and then you don't go on it at all

Weird rides with a usually reasonable wait time:

Mr. Toad's wild ride - one the three original rides still left at the park (only in CA not FL). You DIE and GO TO HELL. Literally Hell!

Rides that are CLOSED or will be closing very soon: 1. Haunted Mansion - This one will be closing soon for about a year because they're re-doing the square and adding a new section of the park. So I'd say go on it if you can, but if not, I personally think it's at it's peak oct-dec when it's dressed up as nightmare before Christmas and I don't miss it too much the rest of the year 2. Splash mountain is still under construction but I don't like getting wet on rides so I never went on that one anyway

Best Places for Souveniers:

Biggest shop is outside the parks in Downtown Disney and it's called "World of Disney." They have everything and, if they're out of an item or size, "Emporium" on Disneyland's main street will have it.

Best Places for Food:

My fav place to get food are the bread bowls (broccoli cheddar) right across from the haunted mansion. However, Hungry Bear and Tiana's Palace will have decent meals as well. Jolly Holiday has passable grilled cheese. I DO think the pizza at pizza planet actually sucks so if you go right outside the park to napolini in downtown disney you'll get a much tastier slice

Genie+ (used to be "fast pass"):

Prices vary by day. I've seen it as low as $17 and as high as $35. This will probably double the amount of rides you can get on, but only if you get there early and you'll only start reaping those benefits during the second half of the day. So if you plan to stay late, worth it. (If you're going with a senior trip though you may not be able to get this, since everyone would need one I assume.)

Have fun!