#i've never watched modern family (or maybe a couple of episodes here and there) but i saw that quote around the web one day

[rapha-reads]

Y'all: French is such a weird language

Me, helping my little sister with her English homework: how the heck did I ever learn English, none of this make sense.

I've been thinking a lot about Sofía Vergara's line in Modern Family lately: "Do you know how frustrating it is to have to translate everything in my head before I say it? To have people laugh in my face because I'm struggling to find the words? Do you know how smart I am in [French]?"

Because, like... mood. It doesn't matter how fluent I am in English, or that my friends don't mock me and are very patient with me when I'm struggling in Spanish. I'm never talking to them in my native language, so do they really know me? They've never heard me actually talk, when you consider it.

Doing my thesis defence half in Spanish half in English only made me all the more aware of how much I don't say because I can't say it.

[phoebehalliwell]

have you ever wondered which actresses could portray the charmed ones if the story was set nowadays? (it may seem weird but i like to make fancasts about the books/shows i like and i was curious if you also thought about it...) i love your blog btw!

hiiiii i actually have never thought of this but i did some thinking over a lunch break or two and i came up with five different options ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Option One

The Tried And True Brunettes!!

basically a one-to-one of the original except set in 2024 so adding a couple more modern slants i imagine prue would maybe work in tech or an app or a start up instead of the auction house, phoebe would def have some plotline with dating apps something or other tying into her column, chappell roan is def performing at p3

Claudia Jessie as Prue Halliwell // i’ve only seen her on bridgerton but the sharpness and the softness she displays with eloise i think would really help encapsulate prue

Victoria Pedritti as Piper Halliwell // ive seen her in a couple things but specifically the characters in the haunting of hill house and the haunting of bly manor i think could really lend itself to her earlier seasons versus her agro kind of insane variant as love in you could def show itself in the later seasons

Danielle Rose Russell as Phoebe Halliwell // if anyone’s seen legacies whenever drr is playing lizzie… i know she’s got the sauce

Mikey Madison as Paige Matthews // i only know her from the scream reboot but i totally see the vision

Option Two

It’s San Francisco!!

for a show that so frequently reminds us it is set in san francisco and the surrounding bay area, it features so few asian characters it is honestly confusing, given that the city itself is roughly one third asian. the show initially seemed like in wanted to lean into that in the very first season given episodes like dead man dating, but it really petered out. this recasting offers a new perspective of the city as well as different facets of life for the charmed ones to explore (i would love to see a lunar new year episode / zodiac episode to overwrite the existing one in canon which is just so :///). for this specific casting, i would have them be a vietnamese family, with paige being half asian and half white raised by adopted white parents, so when she comes into the fold, it's not just her learning about her magical heritage but also her getting to learn and connect with her asian heritage as well

Kelly Marie Tran as Prue Halliwell // i've only seen her in star wars admittedly i don't even know which one i'm not a star wars girlie But i think she carries with her both the bravery of prue and that kind of strong dignity/forceful aura that would really help shape the role

Lana Condor as Piper Halliwell // i know her as lara jean from to all the boys i've loved before and honestly from that alone i think she'd kill as piper

Leah Lewis as Phoebe Halliwell // okay. so while i haven't actually watched nancy drew, my mutuals love it, and from the gifsets i've seen + the promos they would show before riverdale, i do think we've found our phoebe

Piper Curda as Paige Matthews // not the first and not the last pick from Legacies, piper was introduced in the 4th season i'm p sure and i really like her laid back / obviously gay aura and i think she would make a really interesting obviously gay paige

Option Three

Asian Doesn’t Inherently Mean East Asian!!

i wanna see desi witches i feel like i never see desi witches!! plus the bay area / northern california as a whole has a very vibrant indian community so i would love to see that tapped into

Simone Ashley as Prue Halliwell // while she is in sex education we all know the example i'm going to give you here is kate sharma from bridgerton who is basically just regency prue halliwell

Amita Suman as Piper Halliwell // i know her as inej from shadow and bone which admittedly as a series, i did not like. however, i think amita is a talented actress and could pull off an excellent piper

Avantika Vandanapu as Phoebe Halliwell // best known for playing karen in the new mean girls movie. definitely would kill it as phoebe

Maitreyi Ramakrishnan as Paige Matthews // best known as devi in never have i ever, a show that i actually did not watch but my mom did so i've seen roughly 1/3 of all episodes. i think she's a very skilled actress and could play the willful, stubborn, and creative paige excellently

option four

Black Girl Magic!!

i'm going to be perfectly honest with you -- this was absolutely motivated by having an ayo piper. think on it. like. gas.

Omono Okojie as Prue Halliwell // yet another legacies pick but what can i say i love the cast. i think she would bring an appropriate gravitas and like cool stubborness to prue

Ayo Edibiri as Piper Halliwell // hold up sydney adamu from the bear. hold up piper halliwell. they're the same picture.

Jadah Marie as Phoebe Halliwell // i know her from descendants 3 where she was playing dr facilier's daughter celia and that was really all the evidence i needed. she's totally phoebe

Madison Reyes as Paige Matthews // she's julie from julie and the phantoms which if you haven't seen you should esp if you love dcoms bc it's another kenny ortega classic. i think madison brings the right spirit to paige. additionally, being the half sister, she is actually not just black but afro latina, and could introduce new perspectives from her specific puerto rican descent esp in regards to brujeria (a la josefina in season 2 or maybe 3 of the charmed reboot)

Option Five

Everyone Knows The Charmed Ones Are Blonde!!

We're standing in the home of the Charmed Ones, we've got their powers, we got their book, and we got blonde multi-tonal hair!!! on a very real level, could not resist making the blonde variants. largely motivated by sabrina carpenter as phoebe

Meghann Fahy as Prue Halliwell // known for the bold type and the white lotus i think meghann could really the convey the whole i'm lonely but i'm good/i'm bitter but i swear i'm fine vibe prue has going for her

Elle Fanning as Piper Halliwell // we see piper's soft side when elle plays aurora in maleficent and her agro side when she plays catherine in the great

Sabrina Carpenter as Phoebe Halliwell // do i really need to explain this? i'm right. you know i'm right.

Renee Rapp as Paige Matthews // come back to television the kids miss you. i know she usually plays the more prue coded characters like with leighton in the sex lives of college girls and arguably even regina george in mean girls but i've seen her in those interviews. "There is this man who owns a bus touring company. His name is buddy, and he is such an asshole, and he was so disrespectful to my friends, Priscilla and Bella, who I work with, and to my mother. If you're watching this, I can't stand you, and I hope your business burns. You are so disrespectful and so misogynistic. I. Hate. You." that's my paige matthews

castings for other characters under the cut ❤️

Leo Wyatt

Dev Patel // like. logically. could we book dev patel? no. but does that make me want him any less? also no.

Kedar Williams Stirling // best known as jackson in sex education where he just exudes such good vibes you know what i'm saying? that just like nice aura. that's what i want for leo. when leo's around i want the feeling like things are going to be okay bc he's just so good

Alex Roe // if any of you watched siren on freeform i highly recommend the first two seasons i did give up on the third season but the first two were really good. he plays the male lead ben who i feel like honestly would translate over really well to leo. knowledgeable and constantly dealing with the women he loves as shit keeps getting weirder

Vanessa Morgan // she does that "gazes lovingly at a person you are basically cosmically tied to" so well in riverdale i know she could kill as leah wyatt

Cole Turner

Manny Jacinto // i'm not watching the acolyte but i am watching those fancams and i'm gonna need more sexy villian manny jacinto asap

Nathan Parsons // one of those cw actors that gets passed around like the blunt so it only makes sense to have him here. i know him best as max from roswell new mexico but it's specifically when he plays jones, for all intents and purposes max's evil twin that he really starts cole cooking imo. i think he would offer a really fun take on cole.

Havana Rose Liu // who wouldn't go against both heaven and hell to be with her? i mainly know her from bottoms where she might not feel super cole coded but i see the vision

Chris O'Shea // i only know him as percival pickens in season six of riverdale but he served down and i know he'd make a great cole. watch s6 of riverdale. you don't have to watch any of the earlier seasons or any of the seasons after it to understand what's going on i promise. it's the season where they all get magic powers.

Darryl Morris

Quentin Plair // another pick from roswell new mexico he plays dallas the sexy preacher among other things and i think he has a really good um. it's like. that running out of patience type vibe you know what i'm saying? i really like the way he can get the terse like i am being nice right now but i need you to know that is a choice i am making type vibe that i really like when darryl gets (like when darryl first meets cole and there's that tension its such a good darryl moment)

John David Washington // could we book him? idk i don't know if he's really been in any tv shows i know his mainly blackKklansman and tenet and i feel like he def has the chops to give us an excellent darryl

Charles Michael Davis // another cw actor best known to me personally as marcel on the originals and as we can see in the photo looks great in a suit i think he would make a really good darryl esp in the softer moments connecting with the sisters/leo

William Jackson Harper // okay thru googling him right now he's 44?? that's insane to me he does not look 44. most know him as chidi from the good place which i think offers the perfect "this might as well be happening" type energy darryl so often has

[moonypears-blog]

Did you ever watch Once Upon a Time?

Imagine STF had been a part of it.

We could've gotten both fantasy/medieval versions of the cast and modern looks.

More sibling bonding.

More Cedric/Sofia moments (NOT shipping I repeat that slash does NOT indicate shipping) and exploring any paternal bonds going on there, including how it'd clash with Roland.

ACTUAL BIRK CONTENT. For all we know that man was looking for some enchanted item that the cast needs idfk.

We could have Emma and Sofia bonding over "mc/savior of the universe/leader" syndrome, particularly with Sofia being a child.

SOFIA ACTUALLY SHOWING AND WORKING THROUGH HER TRAUMA.

Sofia and the twins (and ig the village friends bc they exist or whatever 😒🙄) being friends with Henry.

Jade and Ruby being passive aggressive and getting called tf out for it.

Rumplestiltskin being the creator of that goddamn well or smth and otherwise causing chaos/drama in Enchancia in flashbacks.

ANOTHER MUSICAL EPISODE. We can always use more musical episodes.

I can only imagine the CGI or whatever for Sofia's animal friends, as well as just how many more actors/actresses would be needed for any and all animals in the show.

Omg this would also bring Elena into the series by default.

There could be so many possible routes for angst and drama and villain arcs. Rumple and Cedric. Vor. Merlin and all that existing (I think they already do within the canon of the show? Idr been a hot minute). Ivy and actually seeing her sister. Miss Nettle.

My fyp reminded me of OUAT's existence and I'm here to make it everyone's problem/j

Oooh! I've never seen OUAT, maybe a few episodes a couple years ago, but this sounds really interesting!

It would be good to see Sofia with another world saviour, especially if they're an adult and was once like Sofia, but realised how messed up it was and gets Sofia to see the truth.

Also yes for more Cedric and Sofia scenes! Yes even more for their father daughter bond actually being recognised! I think it would have been good for the show to display that the lessons about non bio families also goes outside of step families.

Maybe we would also get more lore about the amulet from before Elena's time, back closer to when it was made in maru!

[haljathefangirlcat]

Now that you mention it, the Volsung-Nibelung-Dietrich cycle would make a good sitcom if you just focused on the zanier parts. The Nibelung siblings Gullrond, Gunther, Gernot, Giselher, Kriemhild, and (maybe) Hagen, with all their pals. Nephews Dankwart and Patavrid; Gunther's incredibly athletic girlfriend Brynhild and her dog and horse; the Nibelungs' best pal and Brynhild's ex Sigurd, who would be the man you wished your man could be if not his moments of random philosophizing or idiotic life decisions despite knowing what was going to happen; Hagen's best pals, Volker the musician and Walther the nerd; local businessman Rudiger and his sweet, cutesy young daughter; socially maladjusted Dietrich and his gang of pals, who always pop up during hangouts despite nobody inviting them... With less murder and more mayhem, it sure would make a good show!

You know, one thing I will always be irrationally sad about when it comes to the Sigurd/Siegfried cycle and related legends is that... it just never gets any of the wacky, zany, "how tf did you even come up that" adaptations and reimaginings Arthuriana keeps getting.

I mean, sure, you do have adaptations with some humor in it, and different ways to mesh Norse and Continental and even Wagnerian elements, and very different perspectives on the same characters. But Arthuriana really has anything and everything from Disney movies to anime and manga to Monty Python movies and musicals to kids' cartoons to A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court and all its parodies to Young!Arthur/Young!Merlin Slashy Bromance shows to irriverent French sitcoms to loosely-inspired queer YA romance novels to a few recurring and even main characters in "all stories are true" fantasy series like Once Upon a Time or The Librarians. There's even those collector's edition Merlin & Morgana Barbies that were making the rounds on here a while ago!

Meanwhile, the wackiest, less "serious" stuff our Nibelungs get are:

The brief Siegfried & Fafnir cameo in the Mara and the Firebringer movie, where the main mythological figures are actually Loki and Sigyn (can't really say anything about the books, as I haven't read them)

A weird Hungarian (?? iirc??) comedy movie where Siegfried has a talking piglet as his animal companion for some reason and Kriemhild really doesn't like him but she apparently can't just tell him to get lost and stop courting her so she orders Hagen to drive him away from Worms and kill him, which I've only ever managed to "watch" in bits and pieces

The comedic operetta Die lustigen Nibelungen, which I've never managed to find anything about that wasn't in German, so I'm not even really sure what it's actually about

The 70s porn movie The Long Swift Sword of Siegfried, which... tbh, I'd rather stick to fanworks on the nsfw side of things, if the alternative is Siegfried with a pornstache

A Modern/High School AU fantasy romance self-pub I once found where, from what I remember of the summary and excerpt I read, Brunhild is a Mean Girl/Queen Bee who tries to steal Siegfried away from Kriemhild and Hagen is Kriemhild's shitty jealous ex-boyfriend (nothing against High School AUs, or romance novels, or alternative takes on the Kriemhild/Siegfried/Brunhild love triangle, or Hagen/Kriemhild as a ship... but tbh, I'd rather see all those elements handled in vastly different ways XDD)

A couple of old Italian Disney comicbook parodies featuring Donald Duck and his family (but those were mostly Wagner-based, iirc, and then again, an amazing thing about Italian Disney comics is that they will parody literally everything under the sun from the Divine Comedy to Twilight)

... Siegfried (or Sigurd?) showing up in one of the Fate anime series? Or novels? Or games? Not sure. I've only ever watched like two episodes of the Fate/Stay Night anime and then dropped it because I didn't like the normal guy protagonist always rushing to protect his (secretly Fem!King Arthur) supernatural sworn knight just because she was a girl

And... that's it, I think.

And on the one hand, I get it. With Arthuriana, you have adventurous romances and ridiculous (affectionate) quests and so many different bizarre canons and twists on them that even that cartoon where Morgan Le Fay sends an American football team back in time to Camelot (I think that was the plot, at least????) is just another "you know, this might as well happen" situation. I suppose that, at least by comparison, the Nibelungensage & All Adjacent Stuff may appear more grounded and less easy to play with and bring in whatever strange, unlikely new direction you want. Plus, tragic events like Sigurd/Siegfried's death, Brynhild/Brunhild being tricked into marrying a man she doesn't want, and Gudrun/Kriemhild's revenge, or even Dietrich's exile, are just central to it, so that's kind of a downer already, I guess.

... on the other hand, King Arthur's tale literally ends with him and his son killing each other at the end of a bloody civil war. And it's not like anyone's ever had any problem merrily ignoring THAT part to, idk, have everyone in the story be cats.

All this to say, I'd watch the hell out of a Modern AU Nibelung sitcom. Or even just a Nibelung sitcom set in the Middle Ages, or Late Antiquity, or a vague mishmash of the two. The dream for that would be a Galavant-style show with musical numbers and a lot of scenes poking fun at epic and heroic tropes, ngl.

Actually, let's be real: I wouldn't just watch it, I'd probably write fic and make gifs and fanvids for it!

[seriouslycromulent]

What I've Been Up To (Larroquette love)

A couple of weeks ago, I started watching a lot of films and TV shows centered around John Larroquette. This is not out of character, of course. If you've visited my blog before, you might know I spent a fair amount of time gushing over him in 2022 after I finally made my way through The Librarians series for the first time, and followed it with a re-watch of the original Night Court.

After that, I watched him in Boston Legal, only to get sucked into a vortex of awesomeness called James Spader. (What can I say? Like most nerds, I have an obsessive personality.)

I've since left that rabbit hole, and leapt into a few others throughout 2023. And now I'm back to gushing over JL.

Maybe it's the new Night Court TV series. Maybe it's the overwhelming increase in great fanfiction that I've come across recently. Maybe it's because the world seems to be constantly on fire and I need a salve to help soothe my psyche. Maybe it's a combo of all 3.

Either way, I'm still leaning in, and I just want to thank my fellow nerds for sharing sources and leads on where I can find more Larroquette goodness. I'm not blowing smoke here either. I truly appreciate this.

Not only because I'm slowly running out of things to watch, but because it's nice to know there are others out there who see what I see in him. You don't know how rare that is.

Anywho! Back to geeking out. Here is a rundown of films, TV shows and TV mini-series-esque things that I've watched starring JL in the past 4 weeks:

* Walter and Henry (watched on Tubi) It was ok. I didn't dislike it. I am a fan of James Coburn and it was nice to see John play a saxophone. I remember him mentioning that he played reed instruments in his musician days back in NOLA. So I'm going to assume that he didn't have to take lessons to sell those scenes.

* Some of the McBride film series (watched on trial version of UP Faith & Family streaming service) These weren't bad. Somewhat Hallmark-y, but I would actually like to see the rest of them, especially the ones JL directed. But about 4 or 5 of them aren't available for streaming, and those include the ones he directed. The ones I saw include - - McBride: Anybody Murder Marty? - McBride: Tune in for Murder - McBride: It's Murder, Madam - McBride: The Chameleon Murder - McBride: Murder Past Midnight

* Camera Store (watched on Tubi) I know JL said in an interview that he didn't like shooting this film, but I thought it was really thought-provoking. You can tell by the reviews on IMDB that some people didn't like the slow burn of the story. But for those of us who like day-in-the-life character pieces, it was very well done. One person described it as a modern-day Death of a Salesman. And I'd say that's pretty accurate. It's definitely not for everyone, but it's certainly worth a watch.

* The 10th Kingdom (watched on Amazon Prime) I think this miniseries was a big deal back when it came out in 2000, but I never saw it. I'm not sure why because I've always been a big fan of fantasy. However, now that I've seen it, I can't say I loved it all that much. So maybe that's why I didn't watch it back in the day. I think it had a great premise, and I loved how they wove a lot of different fairy tales into one big story that played out over 10 episodes (or five 90-min episodes on Amazon).

But I think I had trouble trying to figure out who the audience was supposed to be for this. I'm guessing they wanted it to be for the whole family, but some of the dialogue skewed far older at times and it left me wondering the rest of the series. Especially when it came to things on the topic of virginity, infidelity, and sexuality in general. It was just every now and then, the characters would say something that made me go, "What was the TV rating on this again?!" Also some of the scenes between JL and his daughter were incredibly dramatic, but very out-of-place with the rest of the series' tone. They were good scenes, but it's like it became a completely different series for like 20 minutes. But ... oh well. I'm glad I saw it and can now reference it in the future.

* Wedding Daze (watched on UP Faith & Family) Talk about Hallmark-y! Well, I think this one actually was a Hallmark movie to be fair. The subject matter definitely wasn't my cup of tea, but overall, the cast wasn't bad. Well ... JL, Karen Valentine, French Stewart, and the actors who played the daughters weren't bad. Everyone else was kinda ... m'eh. But it's not bad if you like these types of stories. Interestingly, one of the actors who played one of his daughters (Jaime Ray Newman) also played opposite him in one of the McBride films. It was the McBride: Murder Past Midnight one. In it, she actually came on to JL's character at one point in the story. I looked it up. She shot the Wedding Daze film first, so the McBride role came later. I'm sure that scene was interesting to shoot. All in all, I can't say I recommend Wedding Daze though.

* Chuck, ep. 202 and ep. 414 (watched on Amazon Prime) I've heard about these episodes for years, but I never took the time to check them out because I wasn't a big fan of Chuck. I basically gave up halfway through the 1st season. But for the love of JL, I made myself watch these 2 episodes where he guest starred as super spy Roan Montgomery. And what can I say? They weren't bad. I actually enjoyed them for the most part. It was also fun to see Lesley Ann Brandt playing another sexy badass. (Methinks, she's been typecast.) I also imagine John probably liked playing the scenes where he was tied up. To be fair, he probably enjoyed the whole thing. He looked like he was having fun pretty much the whole time. Still not a fan of the show though.

* Sanford and Son, ep. 505 (watched via a link provided by another fan) Having grown up on reruns of this show, I loved learning that JL was a part of it, even if it was early in his career and he probably has very little memory of it. After I watched it, I told my mom about it, and she said she remembered that episode after all these years. So that episode definitely had some staying power for a young actor, I think. I mean, how many actors can say they played a white version of Lamont Sanford? LOL! It was a funny episode that kind of gave you a behind-the-scenes look at what the TV soundstages of the 1970s used to look like. Plus, it had Robert Guillaume in it too. Thank you fellow JL fan for sharing it!

---

OK. That's it for now. As I mentioned before, I don't have a lot left to watch that's available featuring our guy. Madhouse and Richie Rich are both on Tubi, but I saw those back in the '90s when they came out, and I don't really think they warrant a rewatch.

There are a lot of things in the shared folder I could enjoy, but I'd have to download them and I don't know if my computer memory can take it. Which sucks because I'd really like to watch Baa Baa Black Sheep. My mom remembers that show too. We'll see what I decide next.

I'm sure I'll land on something else before this obsession quietly gives way to another one in a month or so. Until then, watch this space face.

[helloandwelcometomariasblog]

Review #69: Love in the Moonlight

I was going to write about this drama after I finished the last episode, but I'm halfway through and I just can't contain myself anymore.

This drama is such a joke. I'm honestly laughing incredulously here. Well, I'm up to the part where Yoonsung goes to fetch Raon with a bunch of guards behind him to - in his own words to his dad - "test the depth of his feelings for her". What a joke. You know and I know and he knows and we all damn know that he's too soft hearted to hurt anyone. And the writer is expecting us to believe that he would hurt Raon? The girl he's in love with? The girl he would go against his long-term friend and family for? The only girl he's ever liked even after frequenting a hundred kisaengs? Yeah, right.

That is this writer's biggest downfall. They're just too much of a softie. I'm pretty sure this writer fell in love with their own characters, so much to the point where they're too mushy-hearted to do anything bad to them. This happens multiple times throughout the drama, I can't even count. Nothing bad EVER happens to the characters. Well, let me rephrase that. Nothing bad EVER lasts for long with these characters - because the writer just can't bear to see them suffer for long!

Think about it. EACH damn time Raon and Young have to go through a tearful and heart-wrenching separation, they just get back together in the next episode or even earlier. The writer can't pull through with their own storytelling. The separation of the two main characters is always presented in this intensely tear-jerking fashion as though it's the hardest thing they have to go through, but in less than an hour there the prince is AGAIN, and all I can do is sit here and cry out in frustration because there are no stakes! How are we as the audience supposed to be sad and emotionally invested and feel like their love is a life and death situation when it just really ISN'T?

The examples go on and on. Think about the time Byeongyeon sacrificed himself for Raon and the prince. (Don't worry, Raon's unbearable passivity is coming up in another huge post of its own.) I actually liked that scene. I mean, yeah I love Byeongyeon as a character (more than Raon for sure) but his death meant something. It was an incredibly meaningful moment. You could see how much love he had for the prince and the entire scene was done pretty well, including the dialogue. And then what happens? HE DOESN'T DIE. Like, really? Okay, so he got shot by several arrows (and one of them definitely hits very close to his vital organs) and gets slashed by a sword and he still LIVES? So a hundred other people who gets slashed just once in the drama all die but this dude LIVES? Oh please. I swear, the moment I saw him lying down getting taken care of I wanted to smash the wall. That's not how it works! When you do that, you totally destroy the meaningful scene that you initially set up. If he comes back to life so easily, what was his death for? What meaning does it hold now? Ultimately, it tells the audience that nothing really is at stake, and that all of the "important" characters will come out unscathed. Nothing bad will ever happen to them. And what does this do? It destroys every ounce of tension in the drama. Nobody in the audience is going to ever feel that the situation in the drama is a life and death situation. Because it isn't.

That's really bad writing. One of the first things I learned in my screenwriting class was that you gotta put your main character through hell and you gotta have zero sympathy. You have to keep making bad things happen to them. The moment you become a softie, the tension just goes splat. It's really got to feel like a life and death situation and the stakes have to feel REAL. At the moment, the drama does none of that.

That's why I had to stop watching and rant when Yoonsung (of course) takes out his sword and slays the guards. Of course. I wasn't expecting anything else anyways. Who in the world would even think Yoonsung would do something other than protect Raon? Well, for a second I guess I was kind of hopeful - but only for a second, because the drama of course ruined it as quickly as possible. The drama never lets things simmer and turn bad. The writer is too weak-hearted for that. They probably can't bear to see any of their characters suffer for long. So of course Yoonsung would take out his sword but of course it wouldn't be to harm Raon. Of course he would stop at the SLIGHTEST squeak from Raon and start slaying all of his guards lol. I was trying really hard from not typing lol but I really can't help it. It's just too incredulous.

If only the writer would pull through with their threats. If only they would actually let things go bad. Then the tension would rise and rise and the rubber band would be pulled and pulled tight until all that's left to do is for it to snap and all hell breaks loose, which is when you reach the story climax before the happy happy ending. Other dramas do this really well. Especially when they make the main couple break up for reasons outside their control. You really gotta milk that situation. But this drama just can't do that and has never done it. It's supposed to do that the most right now, when there are only so many episodes left until the end. However, the drama DOESN'T do that when it most needs to. I'm so frustrated.

Don't get me started on how much I hate Raon. Well, more like, how much I hate the way Raon is written by the writer. Raon used to be a great character in the beginning. But the moment she falls in love with the prince - well, let's say "falls in love" but where's the evidence that she even loves him? I could write ten pages on how much Raon doesn't love the prince and how passive and wide-eyed she is while the prince actually loves her and ACTS it out ALL the time. Okay, let's have a pause here, and I'll go watch the rest of the episode (well, try to) before going on another huge rant.

If you're going to do a sageuk, do it like 100 Days My Prince or don't do it at all. Or even like Scarlet Heart. At least the stakes there were huge. So many people actually died and the main girl was ACTUALLY tortured. The biggest advantage of sageuks (compared to modern dramas) are the fact that the situations can get really life-and-death. This drama didn't use any of that strong point. What a waste.

Okay. I just came back from watching the rest of Yoonsung's sudden attack on the guards and wow. I was not expecting HIM to die. After all that ranting I did up top about how the drama doesn't pull through and doesn't kill any of their important characters, this is kind of a huge blow. But I have to say, I don't understand why he had to die. When Byeongyeon sacrificed himself, it made all the sense in the world - with his sacrifice, he was able to save Raon, her dad, and even the prince. But didn't Yoonsung lead the guards to Raon himself? He then attacked the bunch of guards himself. Then you see Raon actually try to do something FINALLY but it might have been better if she hadn't done anything this time, cause he clearly got stabbed trying to save her. I guess I just wish his death was worth more than this. I really liked him as a character and I still feel like the drama did him dirty. He could have died a more meaningful death. Not like this.

Now everything is being wrapped up and I honestly feel like there was no real climax in this drama. Maybe it's coming up. Let's see. But from the look of things everything is being wrapped up like a pretty gift box with no imperfections. Have I also mentioned just how much I hate the fade out transitions in this drama? I honestly hate it. It feels like a cop out each time. It feels like a lazy cop out instead of following through with the action that is presented at the time.

As the drama wraps up, I gotta say that I've grown to really love the second female lead. I started off disliking her (just cause I liked the main couple too much back then) and thinking she was just a plot device but she's shown a lot of character throughout the time she was in the drama. SHE is the one who truly loved the prince and actually acted it out each time. And just as I say this, here we go again - the writer lets her off easy, making the king erase her princess-to-be history and ultimately making her sacrifice useless and bland. Sigh. Just LET people sacrifice and be selfless and just let the audience see and feel the deep worth in that! Why you gotta keep taking that away from us?!

I have finally finished the entire drama. I loved Young as a character and I love Park Bogum as the actor who acted him out. Young was BY FAR the best character in the drama, followed by Byeongyeon. Raon was annoying until the very end and even seeing her smile was annoying me. All I could think of was the fact that she was lifeless and had no personality and didn't even properly love the prince and even despite all that she was standing in front of him receiving his love. The prince deserves better.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I've been to Wildwood. The Jersey Shore is crazy in general but wildwood is next level. The board walk has like 200 of the same t-shirt store, feels like you're walking through the fires of hell, and is jam packed with kids on camp trips. I've only ever done the board walk there but I've seen the walk you have to take to get out to the beach, it's insane. I can only imagine what it's like with family. How old are your cousins and what are they like?

My family has literally been coming to Wildwood every year since, like, at LEAST the 1930’s, I’m not sure on anyone earlier than that, and my family is insane, so let’s dive into this.

The Main Characters In My Life On Vacation Are:

-My Grandmother, who was a child dancer star (she tapped on the radio!) who’s been coming down here her whole life- her parents used to come down the same day there would be a talent show, enter her in it, and then use her first prize reward for the money they’d spend throughout the week. Has been in the old person stage of “I’m an elder, who cares what I say or do” for the past 15 years. Has eight living kids and Too Many Descendants. Loud and refuses to admit she can’t walk half the time.

- My Mother, who gets confused very easily, overshares and breaks off into meaningless tangents in the middle of stories, snores like a literal demon, always wants to be asleep, keeps pushing for family activities, doesn’t realize all the kids think she’s lame.

- Me, who is always Extra Depressed in the summer months, and is the Sole Person In This Family My Age- everyone just stopped having babies for a few years when my mother decided to have me (Everyone is either over 25 or under 16). Because of this I’m usually confined to my room, unable to really do anything on the boardwalk because going on rides alone is depressing and my mother has heart problems. Just wants to read and write, but the children keep Screaming.

- My Aunt and Her Husband- A Very Loud Couple, she likes to control everything and he’s the only one who ever bothers to yell back at her. They always fight exactly once, every year, and every year somehow I always end up being the only other person in the apartment while its happening, so I just have to sit in awkward silence until my aunt finally huffs out “I can’t believe you’re doing this in front of my goddaughter!” and storms out to go find her kids. They make a lot of jokes and think their children are very dramatic.

- Jenna, the 14 year old cousin. Very dramatic. Mastered the art of the eye roll at a young age. Has literally looked like a mini model since she was born. Can’t be bothered to deal with anyone. We usually have one (1) tiny girl-bonding moment each vacation and then she promptly acts like she doesn’t care even though it’s clear she does. Athletic and artistic and musically/theatrically gifted. Very sarcastic. Always doing cartwheels.

- Seanie, the 12 year old cousin. Middle child syndrome. Tries to hard to be funny for attention. VERY dramatic. Will cry at the drop of a dime (I’m typing this and I literally just heard him burst into tears in the other room??). Super adorable, you can tell he’s gonna be one of those high school boys that pulls Ridiculous Shit but after one charming smile the teachers can’t bring themselves to stay mad. Very loud. Currently addicted to video game youtubers.

-Zack, the 7 year old cousin. Adorable. Loud. Lowkey a prodigy child but they can’t afford to get him into Special Schools so he’s always bored in class. Baby Of The Family syndrome. Currently in an aggressive pokemon phase. Doesn’t understand he’s literally a child, he acts like an old man half the time.

We’re all shoved into a small apartment for a week, but there are Others:

- Kathy, Grandmom’s second oldest. Literally the most bland person I have ever encountered on this planet. Very, very into trying to plan ‘fun’ family events. Thinks any conversation is a riveting conversation.

- Kathy’s husband, who is just a plain old guy who’s lowkey a hoarder and jokes around a lot, but every time someone mentions his past or his family it gets more and more confusing??? He may have a brother who was in the CIA??? He may have been homeless or he may have lived with his sister???? He may have killed a man???? I literally know nothing concrete about this man other than he’s apparently been with my aunt since they were teens but I. D. K. Every new piece of information I receive just scatters the puzzle more.

- Their eldest daughter and her husband spend most of the summer down here but always make sure to match up the schedule for when we come down. Loud, energetic couple. I have no idea what either of them do for work? They might currently be unemployed? Really into alcohol. At some point in the week every year, everyone in my apartment bonds together to diss them after we get back from the beach. Like, they’ll do something or another EVERY YEAR that sets EVERYONE off.

- The 16 year old. Tries to show everyone memes on his phone. Never really talks to people. Does NOT get along with his parents because he’s kinda an outlier in the family. I feel like he might be a stoner, but if I find out he’s got a hidden gun collection, I wouldn’t be surprised? That probably sounds awful but he’s a good kid I promise.

- Danny, 12. Adorable. Quiet. Mini golden boy. Makes jokes when you aren’t expecting them. Very resigned to the fact he has to hug me and my mother when he sees us.

- Kathy and Mystery Man’s youngest daughter, a librarian, and her stand up comedian husband, and now their three month old who is ADORABLE and everyone was surprised to learn they hadn’t named her Hermione.

Other recurring family members are prone to popping up throughout the vacation- Aunt Margie, Grandmom’s sister-in-law, who, I love her, but remember that chocolate episode of spongebob with the old woman that was essentially a stick in a wheelchair and had a chain smoker voice??? Put that in the tiniest bikini you can imagine and add a wheezing laugh and you got her. Her daughter who I could not recognize on a street if I tried. Her son Michael, who is best friends with my mom and apparently Not Gay (no one’s really convinced). A step-cousin sometimes pops by, she’s very breezy and easy-going and you can’t distinguish her Actual Talking Voice with her Talking To Little Kids Voice.

Anyway, Wildwood itself is just. Goddamn ridiculous.

The aesthetic of this place is somewhere between the 1950’s, a trailer park, and the kind of developed land you get when a moustache-twirling man wants to convince all the old people he can to retire to his buildings. Some buildings are harsh metal, and others are bright pastels, but the only thing joining them together is the fact that it looks like no one has cleaned anything here in years. EVERYTHING, even the knew stuff, looks worn and faded. Even like…the AIR is faded. It’s not just the sun being too bright, everything you’re looking at looks like it’s an old photograph. If you stay too long, you might start to fade into the landscape yourself.

I have never once seen an animal that wasn’t a seagull here. Most towns, islands, places, whatever- you usually have at least squirrels running around, maybe some variations of birds, just. ANYTHING. But it’s all seagulls all the time. You cannot exist in a spot for longer than a few moments without one of them dive bombing you. They are not mere birds. They are feathered demons that Hath No Fear Of The Foolish Mortals Of Mankind.

The song “Wildwood Days” plays on the Boardwalk every half hour. It is the only way to appease the spirits. It’s the modern, New Jersey-ian version of painting lamb blood over your door frame. As much as I’ve grown to hate the song, to twitch and clench my fist at each note, I deeply fear for the day the song doesn’t play on time and the curse is unleashed. I have a deep, sinking feeling that this moment will come within my life time.

If You Don’t Stop To Watch The Fireworks, Your Bones Shall Never Be Found.

You hear the ongoing chant of “Watch the Tram Car, Please!”, and look around, but there isn’t a Tram Car coming. The order grows louder and louder. You realize you aren’t even on the Boardwalk any more. The sound is right behind you, but you can’t find the source. “Watch the Tram Car, Please!” you realize, to your horror, the sound is now coming from inside you. You never find your true voice again.

Despite The Fact That This Place Is A Mosh Pit Of Families From All Over The World, If You Can’t Immediately Place My Accent Or Figure Out What Language I’m Speaking, I Have Legal Grounds To Kill You.

The sand simply isn’t normal. It’s ADVANCED sand. It doesn’t make sense. It never truly washes off. The more you scrub, the more appears.

Ancient gods from multiple pantheons like to chill out on the beach, have a few beers. You never know for sure who is who, but you Know they aren’t the same as you, and you know they know more about you than you’re comfortable with. For your own sake, NEVER ask them to turn their music down.

There is always at least one plane flying over with a sign reading “Jen, will you marry Sean?”. It’s been decades. Will Jen ever say yes?

Elevators Are For The Weak And We Use Them To Judge Who To Do Away With First.

The ocean goes back and forth between green and grey, and you know the color makes a significant difference but you can never quite put your finger on what.

Fish Are Fake.

All the stores sell everything you want, but nothing you need.

King Kong Is Our Fierce Protector, Loving Hero, And Just Enforcer

All the police officers and firemen and general ‘in charge’ jobs seemed to be run completely by 18 years olds

No one truly knows who pulls the shots when it comes to deciding the Boardwalks style each year. Every store sells the same Designated Style, and each year they make less and less sense. You buy a specialized hoodie anyway, and you have no idea why.

I could keep going on with that list, but the point is, Wildwood is a Strange Place and I have a Ridiculous Family, so every year is always a bit of an experience.

Like, no one in my family really has anything in common other than everyone’s always loud and everyone’s always right and everyone is always ready to loudly fight over the fact that they’re definitely right, but like. Imagine crawling through some Hillbilly Murder Showers in the garage of a condo, using all of your force to pry open a suspiciously heavy and questionably mechanized door, walking under the boardwalk and trekking over sand dunes just to find a bunch of screaming yet physically relaxed people under the flag for Montserrat. Some guy’s cracking stand up jokes while no less than three children are fighting each other, your mother is promising for the 14th year in a row that you’re gonna go on a whale watching trip and everyone knows she’s lying, some woman’s trying to hold a conversation about buying applesauce in bulk while her husband and children get drunk, there’s a skinny pale guy with horrible sunburn blasting songs from N.W.A., a girl’s cartwheeling around the site to the point you think she doesn’t know how to move any other way, a boy’s quietly drinking pickle juice, there’s a 7 year old literally trapped in a giant hole that he dug, your mother is snoring loud enough to alarm the people around you, and just when you’re starting to get a little comfortable about the feathered demons and start to relax, a tide comes in so strongly your chair literally starts getting pulled out to sea with you in in. It’s average. It's fading into the landscape with the rest of the place.