#i've started using these for class
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#AI has gotten really good with music#i've started using these for class#picasso on the floor is quite catchy!
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In the VFX class I'm auditing the professor showed us all how to do a small spinning light effect in class, and then expected us to know how to create a dust devil with vertical spinning tunnel of particles based only on that. When we've never used the system.
Another alum is in the class and also has not managed to get a working effect.
Instantly lost respect for the professor when I asked in class if he'd be giving feedback or a demo and he said he wouldn't because it would be, "giving us all the answers."
#ramblies#vent#every other tech art class I've been in they're familiarizing you with the system and showing you the parameters you can tweak#and following along can be challenging enough when you're first getting started#but I was in tears earlier completely failing to do anything useful with my dust devil#I have a fucked up flat whirlpool at the moment#just glad I won't be getting graded on this because I do not anticipate this class going well
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the cruelest thing about the world is that there's so many languages and a girl can't learn all of them
#legit have like 5 things open at once and i'm losing my mind#slovenian and english are locked down#german is far enough to function in so that's fine#but then i have a 50 day streak of swedish (cause it's my fav country to visit)#and i've done like three monthly spurts of russian (cause it sounds so pretty and also slavic so it's not that hard)#and i've done asl for years and love it more than anything#and i fully plan to start in-person classes for slovenian sign (so it'll actually be useful here and great if i come across deaf patients)#anyways. having a good one#my brain is screaming to stop and do one at a time but i don't have the discipline for that#noodle rambles#language stuff#langblr
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I used to have a really hard time bringing up the fact that I graduated from high school a year late without feeling the need to explain why and insisting that it wasn't my fault while simultaneously kicking myself for how much I sounded like I was just making excuses for something I should take responsibility for.
Then I watched Dimension 20's "The Seven" and suddenly I could simply say that I was a super senior.
The first time I heard the phrase "super senior" was in reference to Antiope Jones, a Black girl who had been held back a year after getting kidnapped and imprisoned by members of a fundamentalist cult, and like, girl, same.
So, since then, instead of anxiously spinning out any time I tried to tell a personal high school anecdote, I could just say I was a super senior, and then my brain would auto complete that statement with "like Antiope Jones" and I'd feel good about myself because Antiope Jones Is That Bitch.
That's what the problem had been the whole time. I wasn't worried about how other people would perceive me; I had been struggling with how I perceived myself.
Thanks, Aabria.
#representation matters#especially absolutely batshit and (hopefully) unintentional representation because bitch what the fuck#antiope jones#aabria iyengar#dimension 20 the seven#dimension 20#WARNING: Religious trauma/parental neglect/trauma-induced mental illness beyond this point!#no I'm serious I wasn't joking about the whole identifying with getting kidnapped and imprisoned by fundamentalists thing#shit's fucked; you have been warned#ok so I didn't get kidnapped but I did spend my entire childhood cloistered against my will by my fundamentalist parents#I was home-schooled from grades K-8 and then went to Christian online school from grades 9-11#homeschooling isn't neglectful but my neglectful parents wouldn't have been able to isolate me without it#by grade 11 my mental health had deteriorated so much that I spent most of my time in bed dissociating and stopped doing any schoolwork#my parents correctly assumed the isolation was finally getting to me and enrolled me in a local private Christian school for grade 12#it should have taken me more than a year to complete all my grade 12 classes + a handful of incomplete grade 11 classes & a grade 10 class#but as it turns out I am in fact also That Bitch and did it all in one academic year#I still genuinely thought I was lazy until quarantine showed me that EVERYONE gets fucked up after years of social isolation (wild huh)#Tags! Now with MORE BONUS TRAUMA! (brace yourself haha; Teeth CW)#it's important to me that Antiope is tall because the effects of the isolation and neglect were so pervasive that they stunted my growth#I'm of reasonable height for an adult at first glance (5'3) but I would have been a hell of a lot closer to 6'2 that's for damn sure#if you stare at me for too long I start to look like an animated scale model of a much taller person (because I kinda am lol)#everything about me is teensy except for my absolutely massive teeth#I had to get four extracted because they couldn't all fit#not wisdom teeth just four straight up regular healthy adult teeth had to be extracted due to a painful lack of space for teeth that big#I'm not sure if my teeth are the only thing that grew to normal size or if they're extra big because of some other pituitary fuckery#and yeah being tiny isn't that weird but people have always made a big deal about just how weirdly tiny I am#like kids younger than me used to carry me around like a doll#and now decades later I've learned about Psychosocial Short Stature and it all makes sense haha oop#anyways#told you shit's fucked
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Some people at my shul are studying lashon hara so it's very funny to hear them talk and stop themselves by saying, "that's lashon hara 😦" and they'll literally just stop talking 😭😭😭
#jumblr#personal thoughts tag#shul shenanigans#lashon hara: the subtle art of learning when to shut up#honestly though i think it's really cool that they're doing that. i'd join if they didn't start so early#it's safe to say that L'H is the one thing that unites us all because we All engage in it#i've sat in a couple of these classes and it's made me reconsider when to engage in L'H#because unfortunately i'm still human and therefore i don't always remember to not do L'H#and in part that's because i'm still ignorant. i want to learn more at least eventually#but i believe that doing a bad habit even slightly less often is Good actually#so i'll take it as a mild win and i will look for inspiration from my shul#i will say it's charming to see someone (anyone) who applies their learning in actual situations#and it feels even better when it's *you* who's enacting your knowledge in actual situations#i do want to be clear that i admire this about my shul. it can actually be really hard to just stop talking like that
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#ok i only made them to show the new floaty head but i kinda love them#matching jort gfs...#ts4#sims 4#i finally got my class timetable and it's not good 😔#classes start 9am and end at 5:45pm 😭 not including the 2hrs a day commuting#coming from sitting at home doing nothing for 10 weeks this is gonna be painful to get used to#at least i've got wednesdays off#i want to make a sideblog so i can text post without feeling guilty#so i won't have life updates in the tags of every damn post lol#anyways... its almost midnight. gonna read some kmik before i sleep because i'm shamefully behind
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#i've tried to start again but I don't even have stamina to go to the trial class#ok maybe i need meds#and pointe shoes#ballerinarina#cecemoodboard#female hysteria#girlcore#this is what makes us girls#this is a girlblog#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#coquette#girlhood#girlblogging#it girl#light feminine#hyper feminine#female rage#lizzy grant#lana del rey#soft pink#dollette#hell is a teenage girl#coquette aesthetic#vintage americana#just girly thoughts#gloomy coquette#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#lonely girl#dollcore#i'm just a girl
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My tribute for this year's MerMay - an Eddie to follow up last year's Lil'D.
#Class of 3000#Eddie Lawrence III#MerMay#starting with Eddie i've been using Actual Fish instead of just. generic mer-traits when i draw these pics#he's a clownfish! it says so on the top right over there. v.v#edit: LEFT! Top LEFT!
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uh this is not the audience for this but. for the last few weeks i've been writing a poem every day and i think today's kind of slaps so. if anyone wants a poem with shakespeare and robert frost allusions:

#maybe i should bring back my writing account#i've just tried having writing accounts on various social media before and i hardly ever stick with them#i guess i was writing regularly on instagram for years tho i just fell off once i started writing for class more often#idk#anyway i figure at least one person here might enjoy this#and i have a couple irl friends on here#and for some reason this feels less vulnerable than just. showing it to them directly#space talks#poets of tumblr#poem#also this is not really my usual style but sometimes i really love to use a rhyming form#i hope it doesn't feel pretentious i'm just a little nerd#i'm so fucking proud of that final line it was the first or second line i even wrote for this poem i think it's such a good button
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it's really funny cuz my soul has discovered that it can indeed write a novel like it's writing poetry, just much longer and more thorough
which is delighting me because now I get to explore a really good theme in much more depth than I've ever been able to before, all while still writing with my beloved poetic touch
happy day :D
#the talkies tag#i get to use big words! and only technically correct grammar! it's wonderful!#the only story I've actually enjoyed writing#that creative writing class really did something to me#know the little tip that's like 'only start with an okay piece of writing‚ then get help‚ and THEN make it great' is like#magical#like heck yeah i can write something meager and okay#and that frees me to write so much smoother
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Request My S-Class Hunters novel in English!
I saw a post like this a few months ago and figured I would create another one like it to help get some momentum!
If you enjoy My S-Class Hunters (the webtoon and/or the novel itself) then please take a moment to fill out the Seven Seas monthly survey and request they license it in English!
The May survey is available via the direct link HERE; if you follow 7seas on twitter or periodically check their website the monthly survey is also available on those platforms.
If there are other companies that you're aware of that have similar surveys I encourage you to link them as you see fit.
Having the novel be officially licensed is a good way to directly support the author by having an avenue to purchase an official translation of the series, especially if you have difficulty navigating websites like Naver Series and Ridibooks to purchase the original. (And, also, if you struggle with reading Korean or can't read it and rely on machine translations, having an official translation is also beneficial.) If there are other series that you enjoy, it's also a good chance to list those on the survey as well!
Thank you for your time!
#sctir#tsctir#my s-class hunters#the s-classes that i raised#the s-ranks that i raised#my s-class hunters is the official english title and the one that kr fans use when referencing it in english#as well as what is on official merch#so i try to be mindful to use that title when talking about it#I've been in fandoms for so long and had years and years and years of waiting for official translations#but I'm old now and don't want to wait five more years to see an official translation for s-classes get greenlit#so I'm crossing my fingers that the fandom can request it often enough that we can get it started this year!!
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Forgot to mention here (not like anyone cares) but I got a 1410 in my SAT!
#720 in maths and 690 in english!#my parents think I've got the best score in the world but i can't blame them because they never took the SAT#and we're more used to grades that go from F to A*#i did tell them it's out of 1600 but they think it's an impossible grade#doesn't really matter though because the only reason i took it in the first place was because my school made me#and they didn't offer classes for it so yeah#besides i only started preparing one month beforehand#my practice test scores ranged from 1280-1380 so the fact that i got over 1410 shocked me#I'm happy with the score so I'm not taking it again#now i gotta worry about my A levels lol#guplia rants
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i just realized i can actually knit my newest baby cousin something before i meet her!! thank fuck for the exam break
#knitting#it's so nice to actually have a few days off before the next semester starts#i'm so glad i don't have exams for all my classes#i hope i have big enough needles to make a blanket because i still haven't figured out how to make anything else#i started knitting when i was like 10#and yet i've never managed to actually use a pattern#or purl#so i can only make blankets and scarves
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#hellooooo it's been a long week for sure#got my exam results. did a lot better than i thought i'd do!!!#also had an interview for a place in a community college which i got#but i hopefully got into uni (i'll find out 2pm tmrw) so i mightn't need it!!!#i'm so scared man i'm used to class sizes of like.. 8 😭#and now i've gotta get 4 buses a day to the city and back instead of a 20 min stroll up the road 😔#did a pub crawl saturday to celebrate. had a lot of fun#been having fun with bg3 too!! i'm still on act 1#my ear is blocked again 😔 it's €60 to get it drained ughhh i'll just suffer on#getting my first tattoo soon though 🥳#enough about me lol i need to make a personal sideblog one of these days#i'll def have a lot less time to be active with sims stuff if i'm starting uni so i'll be sure to make one ^^#ANYWAYS here's ms macmahon#/roxana#i swear to god i'm going to catch up with all the new kmik posts when i wake up tomorrow#if i don't assume me dead#ts4
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absolutely fuckin. riveting insight from the GIS textbook. thank you so much. also great job using language like a human person, really nailed it there.
#now it is the migration season for the older criminals#once they develop greater mobility they can travel en masse to the central business district#where they gather for their annual Crime Displays#(I've started writing CRIME MENTION!!! in my lecture notes every time ~crime analysis~ gets brought up as a use for GIS)#(literally at least once almost every. damn. week.)#(part of this class is supposed to be like. developing a critical eye toward irl equity dynamics with spatial analysis)#(Y'ALL. CAN WE START WITH THE FUCKING TEXTBOOK.)#(Official How To ArcGIS Book from Official ArcGIS Developer Organization =/= good critical pedagogy)#(but don't worry; it's also not good at teaching (me) how to use the program too!)#James liveblogs grad school#hi. I'm in. a goddamn mood this week. apparently.#stabbing mood. many stabbings.
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day 60
rehearsal again. feeling a bit more confident on some of the repertoire, and a lot of it's quite fun, but also i'm so so so tired and i want to have the time to practice before next rehearsal and i'm not sure i will
#100 days of practice#fletch plays cello#it's really not that bad. warning: sad rant in tags.#just like. you know. the adhd.#feeling obliged to be in the lab office 9ish to 5ish. assignments bc they had to do this to me in my research year. and of course i work#weekends. literally anything else would be easier. but as it is i've barely started lab work and i don't know what i'm doing and i hate#having classes and assignments and i have a meeting in uh 12hrs in which i'll learn if the uni will give me accommodations and i just. i'm#so tired. there's a few hundred dollars in the “spending account” i don't really use and like 90 bucks in the spending account i do use. bu#if i don't buy lunch then i don't eat lunch. and i need to eat lunch. and i'm so tired of staying up late and sleeping in late and#disappointing everyone. and it takes me an hour and a half to commute to uni every morning. and i'm so tired.#anyway hopefully the scholarship/prize money comes thru soon even tho i'll probably put that in savings bc i would feel bad spending it on#my lunch. and hopefully i can schedule equipment training this week and finally get into the meat of my project. and hopefully i can fix my#sleep schedule. haha. as if i've ever had a sleep schedule in my life. fuck.#it's 2am. life is actually not this bad when it's not 2am. i need to sleep but i can't get myself to.
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