#idk bro i’m fuckin miserable

[redactedwriting]

saw pics of spunk patrick and i dont feel so good. he is sooo sweaty and i didnt think i was into that b4 but!! maybe i am!!!

i think i hauve covid every time i see a spunk pic. he’s just so hot sexy sweaty. i’m miserable

sweat is hot idk what to say. patrick getting so wet with sweat is horrible for me, he’d be so shiny under those tight suits and shirts. his fuckin chest bro. TUMMY. he’d be musky tooooooo lord save me i need to be put down HELLO

his thighs getting sweaty too….and the arch of his hips….his back…..i’m fine i’m normal

[ch1bii]

took me until 4am to finish BUT I FUCKIN DID IT Y’ALL

okay but this gameplay was honestly wild like it was just all over the place 😭 so first i set up a schedule of frequently going shopping and answering his emails on the weekends and having a mix of hanging out with natsumi or doing handicraft club activities during the week. but then later on i realized being at :D with natsumi was going to affect my requirements for chiharu and worried that i’d eventually fulfill hers instead of his so then i just started ignoring her completely 💀 and i would also hang out with arisawa only to study for testing periods but even that made her go up to :D so i started ignoring her as well 😭 yea i was a pretty bitchy friend this gameplay only for the sole purpose to win at it; plus i’ve ended up with both of their endings more than once so it’s just 50/50 now 😒 anywho at one point i struggled with getting chiharu’s cg of him using his laptop at the park in autumn even when i followed the requirements of getting it 👹 but ig i must’ve missed something or just witnessed a slight misinfo. i’ve already gotten the cg in another gameplay anyways so it really wasn’t such a big deal 😦 also one time when i hanged out with arisawa on a sunday chiharu was in the background??? but it says he only does that when you fully fulfill his requirements to get his ending and at that time i was barely halfway through his emails 😭 but sadly when i tried saving it i instead load back to a previous slot 💀 so i’m not sure if it was a glitch or that maybe instead it has to do with him being at :) with you??? and if that’s also the case with the cg incident??? idk we can’t really check that so i’m still not sure 😭 anywho after all that i was already near 3rd year and had finished all of chiharu’s emails. so i was just left with trying to lower other ppls stats and dealing with hazuki being a little bitch for “ignoring” him when all he does is avoid me 👹 and so i was kinda feeling miserable cause i wasn’t sure if i was even going to be able to manage getting chiharu’s next cg on time and having to end up with wasting my time over nothing, leading to another long hiatus of avoiding and hating this game 💀

that was until i stepped upon a lil something…

more like someone 🤭

YUP THATS RIGHT. FUCKIN MORIMURA SAKUYA AKA MORI-RIN CAME AND SAVED THE GAME. And when I tell y’all that i didn’t even do this on purpose I MEAN IT. LIKE HE LITERALLY JUST APPEARED WITHOUT ANY KNOWING OF MY ACTIONS. to be fair i DID use the studying by urself command BUT IT WAS DURING THE END OF 2ND YEAR in which i assumed he’d only appear this way in 1ST year 😭😭😭 so yea i was just fuckin 🤭🤭🤭 the whole time, like any tear i felt like shedding before just completely evaporated i am dead serious. WITH HIM TSUKUSHI FINALLY GOT OFF MY ASS ABOUT ENDING UP AN OLD MAID AND ACTUALLY HAD SOMEONE I COULD SPEND NEW YEARS WITH 💀 no cause i swear bro is too underrated when he is literally the sweetest (and the best) guy in this game I SAID WHAT I SAID 🙄 anywho yea life was good i even started having more hope in getting what i want i was even near finishing 3rd year 🤭 so now i’m near new years where tons of stuff happens in like one week 😦 so first i get club master in handcraft club!!! and i even get this thing where mori-rin comes after the like award thing and congratulates me, even sharing how his mother did handicrafting and gets emotional 🙁 (such a nice add in) then later on in the week i get offered to work at my flower shop job full time??? and there was somthin else but i forgot 💀 anywho there i was nervous for january cause that’s supposedly when the important chiharu cg is. and just when i knew, THERE IT WAS 🤭 and i’m ngl that it’s honestly such a cute cg and probs one of my favs like agh what chiharu says is so meaningful… maybe i just have a weakness 💀 anywho right there and then i felt COMPLETE 🙏🙏🙏 i even FINALLY got chiharu’s emote in the saving section 👏👏👏 even tho it’s kinda disappointing (or i should say rather CREEPY 😨) by how it’s just him spying at ur character thru bushes 😦 istg they could’ve done anything but THAT like maybe ur character and him using their laptops side by side then they look at each other OR OR ur character using it’s laptop then chiharu somehow pops up in the back 😭 idk but ANYTHING could’ve worked better 💀 moving on WE’RE FINALLY OFF TO GRADUATION DAY!!! after taking the entrance exam in which i applied for a first rate university and here i am STILL hoping i don’t get absolutely played and that all goes well 😰 we get to the church, chiharu appears, says his lovely dovey stuff, share a kiss, then the rest is history 🤭 ngl like the cg the confession was pretty cute and genuine, although compared to others why was the mc completely DRY in replying like bro expresses his feelings and we’re just like “okay” or “…” 💀💀💀 but ig it’s understandable when in reality we kinda don’t know much about the guy and was ghosted by him for idk how long then he just comes and confesses💀 it’s why i kinda just like to imagine side emails we’re definitely a thing between em so that it wouldn’t be so bland in what we know abt each other but yea 🤷🏻‍♀️ to finish off this idk how long blog it was unexpectedly a satisfying gameplay and i had some fun with it even if i rushed thru most of it bc of how i just wanted to go to bed 💀 but it was worth it at the end 🤭

[thebigqueer]

Sadie Kane and Drew Tanaka friendship headcannons?

yeah sure!!

okay at first sadie actually kinda hates drew (cuz canonically i’m pretty sure she is Not A Fan)

but then sadie decides to go and get into the drama play and so does drew and actually saide gets a role! drew works more on makeup crew so they kinda start getting a long then

at first they’re pretty hesitant w/ each other but then sadie tries doing her eyeliner and fails miserably so drew is like “WOW okay hold on i’m coming”

from there sadie learns that drew’s not actually that bad! i mean yeah she’s kinda fuckin mean but. you know. she’s not too bad

she totally gives tips to sadie about how she should dye her hair

drew is actually an amazing singer, and maybe one afternoon before the play sadie’s there and hears drew and she’s like so astonished like “??? BRO YOU NEED TO TRY OUT FOR THE NEXT PLAY WE DO!!!” 

and drew’s pretty embarrassed but then when the next play comes rolling around sadie convinces her to join 

and she actually gets a decent role! not main role (she doesn’t really want main role) but she gets the part she wants! 

i don’t think they’d be hella close friends or anything but every time they see each other in the halls or something they’d probably wave and sadie’s friends are like ??? “why are you waving to her??” and sadie just kinda shrugs and she’s like “idk man she’s not really as bad as you think”

i hope you liked those!

[seita]

Affy ur not old, ur in prime time rn. Like the BEST years of ur life :)

thank you that's what i think too 💞💞💞💞 idk why people act like just because i'm 23 i have to live up to a certain standard bro i'm just a college kid??? i don't even have my life halfway put together i spent a year flip flopping in changing my majors because i second guessed what i wanted to do with my life

if you reach the age of 18 and act like all you have left to do is go to school and work, no hobbies, or things you enjoyed as a kid then you're just gonna be a miserable adult

i still watch cartoons, i'm sure lots of other adults do and i never understood why people act like i couldn't watch them because i was an adult. that doesn't make sense does it?

so why should i stop writing fanfiction when it's something i've consistently enjoyed for half of my life.

idk man, just doesn't make sense to drop the things you like doing just because you're an ✨adult✨

nah being an adult means i can stay up until 5am watchinf courage the cowardly dog and not even god herself can tell me to go to bed bc i ain't got a bedtime i'm a fuckin adult 😭

[moskaisley]

thin walls

gif cred: @mrpascals​

rating: NC-17 lol

word count: 3.1k 

warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT!! 18+ !! graphic depictions of sex, auralism, mentions of alcohol, jealousy, dumb oblivious clownery, a lil pining, a smidge of angst at the end u know me

a/n: 

this is a side story for my ongoing series “migraine” !! 

i NEEDED to write something fun since the last part of migraine was so angsty. i really wanted to just explore them having fun together and being bros!!! just vibin!!! being young and dumb!!! and ofc their obvious sexual tension before migraine girl and mando started their romantic relationship. idk when part 5 will be out since i have finals next week, but i definitely dont want to wait a month to post it LOL 

for now, enjoy this fun and sexy romcom bullshit 

summary:

“You’re the worst wingman ever,” You tease as you kick his calf lightly.

He kicks you back, “Look, the night isn’t over yet. I bet I can get at least one of these people to talk to you.”

You ponder over his challenge for a moment, and then shoot him a mischievous grin. Reaching into a pouch on your belt, you slap some credits onto the table.

“Spoils go to the winner,” you say with a smile, “You have one shot. Blow it and we both go home, casanova.” 

ao3 link

A rough shove from behind nearly had you on your ass in the middle of the firefight. A blaster shot whizzes by your head, nearly clipping you as you struggle to maintain your balance. Another shot goes off, and you hear a body crumple to the ground. You snarl as you bring your elbow around, only for it to be caught by a strong hand. 

“Easy!” Qin’s voice echoes in your ears, “A ‘thanks’ would be nice.”

You scoff, roughly tearing your arm from his grip, “I nearly sliced you in half, crazy bastard.”

“Oi, don’t get all riled up, sweetheart. If it weren’t for me, you’d be dead.”

“I’m not your fuckin’ sweetheart, Qin.”

He grunts, waving you off in annoyance. Rolling your eyes, you turn around to proceed forward, ready to berate your beskar clad partner for not watching your back. Yet, to your frustration, The Mandalorian is already far down the hallway, Xi’an bouncing in tow.

--

You’re not jealous.

You say it to yourself when you wordlessly slip away from your coworkers upon returning to one of Ran’s hangars, ignoring their confused looks and the “Oh Mando, you’re so in trouble” from Vidar. You say it to yourself when you lazily bonk your head against the shower wall in frustration, and you nearly scream it when you hear Xi’an’s breathy giggles from his bunk. 

This had been going on for weeks now.

A scrap sheet of durasteel could probably muffle more sound than the current wall you shared with the Mandalorian. And while for the most part, he was a respectful neighbor, it was times like these that you wished you could throw yourself into dead space. The first time you confronted him about the noise, it was almost cute at how awkward he was in apologizing to you. That night, amidst the wanton moans and cries of ecstasy coming from next door, you kept hearing him shush the Twi’lek in that gentle, gravelly voice of his. Even then, every noise still drifted into your bunk, but you decided to be merciful and save him any more embarrassment by keeping quiet. (You made a note in your head, though. He so owes you for this.) Instead, you picked up an old busted radio from the market, fixing it up and tuning in during crises like these. It only connected to one station, but you’d take Val Syko’s Quenk Jazz Jams over the sounds of your partner’s pleasure any day. 

But tonight, drowning in the funky sounds of Val’s extensive music collection wasn’t doing it for you. Mando’s groan echoes dully off the walls of your room, and your thighs instinctually press together in an attempt to quell the warmth pooling at your core. You press your fingers to the bridge of your nose. It was unfair, really. Mando was getting action at least once a week, yet your pool kept coming up empty, and you refused to fuck around with any of your current colleagues. Sighing, you check your watch; the night is still young and therefore, incredibly long. Your eyes dart over to your tiny closet, pursing your lips together in apprehension. Another one of Xi’an’s moans rings in your ears.

You know what? Fuck it.

It’s almost comical how the ship falls into abrupt silence when you knock on his door. 

“I’m going out,” you say quickly before he could open the door. Silence follows and you roll your eyes. 

“Don’t wait up. I’ll be late.”

--

You’re not sure why you thought your luck would change tonight. 

You were nursing your second drink, lazily twisting the straw in the glass and scanning around the cantina for anyone who could catch your eye. On your first round, there was a cute redhead who gave you a sweet compliment on your outfit, but your hope died when she slipped into a booth next to her boyfriend on the other side of the room. You let out a long, exasperated sigh, letting your head drop as you squeeze your eyes shut. This was a dumb idea. You’re gonna be listening to those two all night while Val plays that one song from Mooneyes for the thousandth kriffing time–

“Is this seat taken?”

You groan loudly at his stupid fucking modulated voice.

“I’ll take that as a no.” 

Mando slips into the stool next to you, leaning against the bar as he tilts his head.

“I wondered where you ran off to.”

“I can have my fun too, Mando.”

“Clearly,” he quips, gesturing to your lonely exasperated form, huddled over your drink.

“You’re so annoying, you know that?” 

You shove him and he laughs, head shaking at how easy you are to tease. Rolling your eyes, you take a sip from your drink. He shuffles a little, subtly leaning to the right, visor skimming over your backside. You smirk, catching him in the act.

“Hey!” You snap your fingers in front of his helmet, “Eyes up here, tin can.”

Pushing your hand to the side, he takes the hem of it in between his fingers and says, “I didn’t know you had clothes like these.”

“What? This old thing?”

Though your lifestyle didn’t allow for a big wardrobe, there were a few times you would indulge yourself in some of the finer things. The dress was oxblood in color, made of soft velvet with a high neck and open back. It hugged your body snugly, ending just above your knees with a leg slit that traveled up your thigh. It took a decent chunk from your paycheck, and you were so compelled to buy it that you didn’t even consider where you’d wear it. But you loved the way it made you feel, and it was a lovely change of pace from the typical bounty hunter getup you often sported.

“It looks nice on you,” he tells you, nonchalantly.

You swallow hard as his gloved fingers brush against your thigh. Dizzying warmth washes over you. What the hell? Drunk already?

“Thanks.”

“What’s the occasion?” He asks you, releasing his hold on your dress.

You shoot him a sardonic smile as you raise your glass, as if you’re toasting.

“I’m taking applications for a new partner. My old one was too busy getting his dick wet and I almost got shot. Had to be saved by Qin, of all people.”

“I dunno, Qin could be a worthy candidate. He seems to be very friendly with you, too.”

“Are you insane? He’s a kriffing psychopath. Almost as crazy as your girlfriend.”

“Hey, she’s not–”

You cock your brows at him and smirk.

He playfully punches your arm as you take another sip. 

“Alright, alright. I get it,” he says as you laugh at him, “Let me make it up to you. Are you trying to go home with someone tonight? I can be your wingman.”

You snort at the thought, “Yeah right. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Mando but you’re not exactly the most approachable person. And besides, no one here is really catching my eye. I think I’m just gonna go.”

You’re moving to stand up and pay until he grabs your arm to keep you still.

“No, wait. C’mon, stay. Lets–Let’s just have some fun.”

You smile earnestly at him; Mando’s insistence to spend time with you genuinely warms your heart, so you lean back to your seat and flag down the bartender.

--

Though a second set of eyes helped in checking out people that you may have overlooked, it kind of defeated the purpose when that set of eyes was known for being one of the fiercest warriors throughout the galaxy. You thought you were able to catch the eye of a particularly dashing fighter pilot, exchanging flirty glances and a little wave. But the second he saw you in an exchange with a Mandalorian, he was quick to dash out the cantina without so much as saying a word to you. Mando kept insisting you both stay, denying that his intimidating armor had any effect on your chances of getting laid.

“Mando, I’m telling you this in the nicest way possible, but you’re scaring people off.”

“Maybe they just like what they see.”

“You’re the worst wingman ever,” You tease as you kick his calf lightly.

He kicks you back, “Look, the night isn’t over yet. I bet I can get at least one of these people to talk to you.”

You ponder over his challenge for a moment, and then shoot him a mischievous grin. Reaching into a pouch on your belt, you slap some credits onto the table.

“Spoils go to the winner,” you say with a smile, “You have one shot. Blow it and we both go home, casanova.”

Needless to say, he fails. Miserably. 

The first person he goes up to must’ve been guilty of something. Because as soon as the Mandalorian stalks around the corner to his seat, the poor soul tosses his drink at him and dashes out the door. The metal man stands for a second in shock, and you see his shoulders slack as he lets out a defeated sigh. He rounds the bar back to you, Corellian rum dripping off his helmet and all over his beskar. Your stomach hurts trying to suppress the laughter building inside you, but you couldn’t help it. Your hand flies to your mouth as you snort loudly, laughing so hard that tears almost form in your eyes. You didn’t expect the night to go this way and your endeavors for a hookup had failed terribly, but it still made you happy to spend time with your friend all the same. 

“That wasn’t fair. Let me try again.”

You struggle to form a response between your laughs, “No–no way! I–I can’t watch that again.”

“C’mon, I didn’t even get to try. Gimme another chance.”

You shake your head, taking your credits off the table and slipping them back into your pouch. 

“Nope, rules are rules, Mando. Let’s just get outta here.”

“No way, I refuse to give up so–”

“She asked you to leave, buddy.”

You turn to look at the new voice, confused and a bit irritated for interrupting your exchange with Mando. You’re met with green eyes, strong shoulders, sexy scruff, olive skin, and a very dashing smile. Your retaliation dies in your throat, and your lips curl into a smile. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.

Mando didn’t pick up on this though, “No, it’s not like that. We were just–”

“He was just going, actually. Right, Mando?” You look back at him and give him a wink, “I think I’ve had enough of you today.”

His helmet tilts upward in surprise, and then he chuckles lightly.

“Okay, then.”

He slides off his stool, gesturing to it for your new friend before walking out of the cantina. You watch Mando walk out the door, and the man takes over his seat.

“Was he bothering you?”

“No, actually,” You give him a sweet smile, “He’s a friend.”

He raises his eyebrows in surprise, “Friends with a Mandalorian, eh? What’s that like?”

“Well, they make awful wingmen,” you joke. 

“Is that so?”

“Why? Looking to take his place?”

“No, I’m here to buy you a drink.”

Catching your bottom lip with your teeth, you smile and your heart flutters.

“What’s your name?”

“Deo.”

--

He presses you up against the wall of the cantina outside, hands snaking up your waist and lips pressing hard against yours. Deo grabs and pulls at your flesh, slipping his tongue in your mouth and you moan against him. It’s been so long since you’ve felt someone this way, and it makes your skin sing in pleasure. When he pulls away, he keeps his forehead up against yours, breaths labored and heavy.

“So, mine or yours?”

A devious grin crosses your lips, “Mine.”

“Lead the way, sweetheart.”

You take his hand into yours, clinging to his arm for balance. The drinks have finally caught up to you and there’s a pleasant buzz warming your body as you try your best not to stumble through the streets. As you make it back to the Razor Crest, you stop in front of the side gate, opening the hatch as Deo’s hand meets the small of your back. You pull him up into the loading dock, and he digs his face into your neck, biting at the skin as you press buttons on the door panel. When it shuts, he pushes you up against the wall of the ship, sucking at the skin beneath your jaw and grinding his pelvis up against your ass. You try to suppress a mewl, as you push off the wall and turn to him. 

“Not here,” you whisper.

“Why not here?”

A muffled whimper comes from further away, and both of your heads abruptly turn to the source of the noise coming from behind Mando’s door.

Deo looks back to you, brows furrowed, “You sure this ship is yours, honey? Looks occupied.”

“Roommate. He won’t bother us, though.”

You shove him off of you and saunter over to your own bunk door. You turn around and beckon him to come with a single finger.

“C’mere.”

--

Your dress, along with Deo’s clothes, was left forgotten on the ground of your tiny room. He was quick to the draw, pulling your legs up so they wrapped around his hips and holding your ass for support. He pressed you up against the wall, pushing his cock inside you. You moan loudly, relishing in the feeling of his length filling up your pussy and the pressure of him crowding you against the metal. 

And that’s when you realize–

Deo is fucking you up against the wall you share with Mando. 

The mere thought of it makes you clench tighter around him and the smile on your face is downright devilish. Your partner can hear every lewd noise you make, just as you’d heard his, and it drove you crazy. Your body flushes with heat, wetness pooling at your core. Your arms pull Deo tighter against you, burying him deeper inside and mewling against his neck.

“Maker, you think he can hear you, honey?”

“Probably,” You let a breathy laugh against him, “Thin walls.”

A distinctly modulated groan echoes from behind you and you can’t suppress the grin that spreads along your lips.

Bastard.

You pull at the base of Deo’s neck, and guide his head to your chest. He nips and sucks at your collar bone, leaving another mark along your skin. Lifting a hand from your ass, he brings it to your breast, kneading it in his hands and running his thumb over your nipple. You whine as he begins to pinch it in between his fingers while he fucks up into you. Coincidentally, Mando’s moans reach your ears again only seconds later. 

So we’re playing this game, are we?

You squeeze Deo’s shoulder, the knot in your lower belly getting tighter and tighter the more you focus on the noises coming from the next room over. You know you shouldn’t, but you can’t help the image of your partner holding you like this, fucking you relentlessly against the wall you shared. You wonder if he looks anything like Deo; does he have the same green eyes? Or are they brown? What about his lips? How do they feel against yours? Your neck? Your cunt? You imagine that it’s his hands clutching and squeezing your soft flesh, his cock stretching you open, his stupid fucking voice whispering praises in your ear. 

“F–Fuck! I’m gonna cum,” you panted, pressure building up inside you, aching for release.

You swore, you heard Mando’s breath hitch behind you.

“Cum for me, sweetheart. Cum all over my cock.”

You nearly scream as you come undone around Deo, waves of pleasure washing over you. In your haze, a single thought crosses your mind: Mando was chasing his own release as well.

You know it, you feel it.

So you moan again.

--

“I had a good time tonight.” 

“I did too.”

You hug your body tightly, the air of the hangar was cool against your skin, and you were clad in only a thin shirt and shorts. Deo is holding your upper arms, smiling softly at you as you shivered.

Brushing a strand of hair away from your face, he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“We should do this again sometime,” he whispers against your skin, “Maybe, somewhere without your little roommate?”

You giggle, warmth heating up your cheeks.

“We’ll see.”

He bids you goodnight, and you walk back into the Crest, shutting the ramp behind you. You’re turning to go to bed when the sound of your partner’s door makes you freeze. The Mandalorian emerges, free of his beskar armor save for his helmet. He stops when he sees you, surprised by your presence at this hour. You stare at each other in silence for a few moments. 

And then you snicker, and he does too.

A pleasant feeling blooms in your chest at the sound of his laugh. You take a few steps closer to him, letting your arms fall to your sides.

“So,” he begins in a low voice, “You didn’t hear any of that, right?”

“Hear what?” You ask him, innocently, “I was a little preoccupied.”

“Really? I didn’t notice.”

You hold a hand against your mouth and giggle. 

“So,” he murmurs, “Who was he?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Mando cocks his head to the side, and you swear you see a glint of mischief flash along the t-shape of his visor. 

“Well, if I’m not mistaken,” he starts, taking a step closer to you. Your heart picks up in pace.

He gently pushes aside the collar of your shirt to reveal deep red marks blooming along your neck. Your stomach flips at the feeling of his bare fingers along your collarbone. Your throat goes dry.

“You owe me some credits.”

He stays still like this for a moment, and you take a deep breath, his touch feeling electric against your skin. When he goes to remove his hand, it’s instinct when you reach for it, clutching it and holding it in place. You feel him tense beneath you as your fingers wrap his palm. You swallow hard, drinking him in beneath the lowlight of the ship: the shine of his dumb helmet, how he towers over you, the warmth of his presence. 

You squeeze his hand, and to your surprise, he squeezes it back. His thumb traced over your fingers, and in your boldness, you gently pull it towards your cheek. 

“Mando?” you hear Xi’an’s voice call from his room. 

You shut your eyes tight, heart dropping to your stomach. Her call felt like ice water dumping over you, killing the warm, fuzzy feeling that engulfed you only moments earlier. You drop his hand quickly. You hug yourself, fingers buzzing so wildly with nerves, you need to hold it close to keep your hand from shaking. You clear your throat and shoot him a weak smile, avoiding his gaze. Bristling past him, you stop in your doorway and whisper.

“Goodnight, Mando.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

-

i imagine deo as jake gyllenhaal when he played mysterio just less of a crackhead. :)

taglist

@bella-ciaao @tiffdawg @peggers-n-beggers @sinnamon-bunn @adlerorzel-blog​ @theocatkov​ @paryl

thank u for reading, space cowboys <3

[alloftimeandspacetosee]

Shouting in the Wind, Part3

And here we are, at the end of what I wrote (bc this was the end of the roleplay as well haha)

 I fully intend to write some more, but uhhhh yeah. idk. I feel like it works best when there’s plot going on in the background to interact around?

 no idea. Sort of doing one for some other OCs, but that’s definitely suffering from I-don’t-know-what’s-going-on symptoms.

[1] [2]

~

3:29

rip in pieces: fuk yeahhhhhh

PI Sleuth: I don’t think that’s Morgan, but even if it is - what are you doing up so late?

rip in pieces: it isnt

oh

oh maybe it is

Cap: oops

Should maybe try harder the next time, alright?

PI Sleuth: You should, perhaps, go to sleep now?

rip in pieces: fair

9:45

Sunshine Child: how did you get into his phone?

Best of the Beast: would u believe that i found a perfect prosthetic of his thumb in his bag

The Listener: … No.

Best of the Beast: good, cause thatd be weird

The Listener: Why did you even suggest that?

Best of the Beast: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i am vv tired

rip in pieces: fuckin’ shattered mate aye

The Listener: Please. Don’t do that.

Sunshine Child: how then?

Best of the Beast: oh so u know how its fingerprint locked and i dont have any of the right equipment to get a copy of his fingerprint with me

weirdly

The Listener: Yes, because we all carry that around with us.

Best of the Beast: oh, u do? damn Ash, always prepared

anyway

so im laying there

in bed

unable to sleep

and scruff is whining about his bag and being generally hopless and miserable without him

Sunshine Child: I hope you gave him the pats

Best of the Beast: of course I did, I’m not some kind of /monster/

[pic of Scruff lying across Esther’s lap, belly up and clearly relaxed. Her other hand is resting on his belly, and his head is half crooked up towards the camera, ears flopping back and tongue half stuck out]

and im playing with summers phone bc mine is plugged into the wall on the other side of the room and aint nobody moving that far

Twin #2: #mood

Best of the Beast: and his screen lights up bc someones tryna contact him

(cant work out who bc his nicknames are weird af)

and scruff stretches across to nose at the button and it

it opens???

The Listener: He’s set his phone to open to Scruff?

Twin #1: i mean. if it works?

Sunshine Child: that’s kinda sweet

Actual Dad™: I hope you didn’t snoop too much.

Best of the Beast: what do you take me for i am /hurt/

The Plan™: …

Best of the Beast: only a little. storms ‘’looking after’’ his phone now

apparently i cant be trusted or some shit

Cap: well that’s fair

Best of the Beast: holy shit yall are terrible

here i am doing a good deed for my bro and yall

yall are accusing me of /theft/ and /misdeeds/

the slander

Twin #1: did you get anything good on him?

Best of the Beast: nah he logged out all his apps before leaving his phone n his texts are in some kinda code

The Listener: And there we have it. Esther really can’t be trusted ;)

Best of the Beast: oh got damn

Sunshine Child: nice

Twin #1: buddy got play~ed

Best of the Beast: u guys are the w or s t

im gonna go train w storm

see if i ever come back to u guys

Twin #2: you love us really

Best of the Beast: shut up u arent my real mum

10:15

Twin #1: @pi-whatever the frick

dad

i like that youll call tooth out on her late nights but not mum???

13:23

PI Sleuth: That would be because when your mother is having a ridiculously late night, I am actually sleeping.

Twin #1: fair

Cap: hey, the city never sleeps at night, why should I?

Twin #2: do we need to look up international scandals?

Cap: ha. ha.

[Cap set her own nickname to sleepisfortheweak]

sleepisfortheweak: I don’t think I need to explain myself to you

15:07

Best of the Beast: hey cap how long did u take before challenging ure first league?

like after beating the gyms I mean

sleepisfortheweak: uh

I think I… skipped out the region for a while?

wait no that was before the last gym

is this for Storm?

Best of the Beast: yeah im tryna convince him he can do it before the others get back

sleepisfortheweak: So I don’t think I’m /really/ the best person to judge that

bc I charge on and on and on

but hey it seemed to work

until it didn’t?

Best of the Beast: gosh thats useful

sleepisfortheweak: What I’m trying to say is that he’s going to be the best judge of how ready he is

If he doesn’t feel ready, don’t push him

Best of the Beast: what if he doesnt believe hes ready?

Twin #2: kick his ass

Best of the Beast: wow youre even worse at this

sleepisfortheweak: Don’t listen to her she never did competitive battling

Twin #2: I mean true but

sometimes they just need convincing?

Best of the Beast: and how

exactly

would my

‘’kicking his ass’’

convince him?????

Twin #2: are you passing up an opportunity to beat some sense into someone?

Best of the Beast: this is storm were talking about

itd be like kicking a puppy

a cute one

one that im like

Twin #2: are you

15:20

Best of the Beast: am i waht???

dont leave like that what the fuck

The Listener: It’s happened.

Best of the Beast: what

whats happened

sleepisfortheweak: Morgan

Best of the Beast: W H A T

Twin #1: Aurora’s got it, she’s gone.

So’s Phoe, apparently?

she was on her way here by boat

sleepisfortheweak: did she forget Aurora can teleport

Best of the Beast: i swear u blessed are fckn useless

waht the FUCK is going on?

The Listener: We don’t know.

But Morgan is registering, and Hera’s spiked, I can feel it.

Twin #1: And Phoe phoned

wanting to know if we knew about it

so Aurora’s gone to get her and find the kids

Best of the Beast: why didnt u go?

Twin #1: Don’t know how long they’ll be, someone’s got to keep our job/place/etc

Also it’ll probably be a quick job and Aurora doesn’t need to worry about an extra body to transport when there’ll already be four and herself.

sleepisfortheweak: That’s good thinking

Best of the Beast: yeah ok were not going for the league then

keep us nonmarked in the loop pls?

Twin #1: I don’t know how much we’ll get to know

The Plan™: plus you have a show to prep for

The Listener: Wow, I heard /that/ exclamation all the way down the hall.

[Best of the Beast set the nickname for Twin #1 to elephant that forgets]

Actual Dad™: Are you calling your mother an elephant?

Best of the Beast: i mean.

i thought she didnt forget things?

elephant that forgets: extenuating circumstances.

I gotta go do a Thing

Best of the Beast: good luck with that!!

16:16

Best of the Beast: so no one knos anything?

Sunshine Child: nope

sleepisfortheweak: I know what it is to not be recognised everywhere I go again

it’s beautiful

also, fuck tourists

Best of the Beast: that shows you

never become notorious

sleepisfortheweak: how was I to know what would happen!!

it was a shitty coping method!! I shouldn’t be famous for it!!

elephant that forgets: the trials of accidentally becoming an elite trainer

famousness is not a thing to be taken lightly

sleepisfortheweak: yah but like. you knew what you were getting into

The Listener: I think it must be a thing in this family, because a lot of people seem to know about Esther now as well

Best of the Beast: damn

three generations in

The Listener: They don’t know you as a NightGale, though, they know you as the Tooth Fairy

Best of the Beast: ok quick question

how

thE FUCK

are they talking to you about that???

The Listener: Oh, it was while we were in Azoth, you must have made an impression with your fighting I suppose.

Apparently we look alike in some way.

Best of the Beast: huh

i mean i suppose our mothers are twins

but ure far prettier

The Listener: … Thanks?

Best of the Beast: its true!

ive been punched in the face one too many times to be pretty

sleepisfortheweak: one could say you’re pretty… /striking/

Best of the Beast: …

17:27

Twin #2: I cant believe this is the top chat here

I figured yd have more of a social convo going than that

Best of the Beast: what.

Who dis

elephant that forgets: You couldn’t keep from snooping, huh

Twin #2: I just wanted to see what’s been going on!!

Not fucking much as it happens

Do I carry /all/ the interesting of this family now

The Listener: Morgan?

Best of the Beast: thE FRICK???!

[Twin #2 set her name to The Prodigal Son]

The Prodigal Son: o shit waddup

wait

Best of the Beast: WHAT THE HECK BOI

[The Prodigal Son set her name to Ya Boi]

Best of the Beast: THE FUCK YOU GO

Ya Boi: long story

elephant that forgets: don’t we know it

Ya Boi: oh i guess u have all been kept in the loop

more or less

Actual Dad™: Are you all safe?

Ya Boi: yeah. Yeah, were good.

tired af but well live

Best of the Beast: good

not that i cared

bc u kno

abandoned

no info

left to fend for ourselves

Ya Boi: i thought kari was keeping you in the loop?

Best of the Beast: !!!

first of all fuk u

[Best of the Beast set the name for Ya Boi to proDICKal son]

Best of the Beast: i didnt even kno she was with you what teh fuk

proDICKal son: you… you told us she was coming to join us

Best of the Beast: i didnt think shed gone with u!! fuk!!

thought shed just like. gone her own way when she found out u were all hopless nerds.

proDICKal son: tried to leave her with storm

how is he, by the way?

Best of the Beast: hes good

not that you fckn care

not that you DESERVE him

[proDICKal son set her name to nope]

nope: i mean. true. ive been trying to protect him

Best of the Beast: son yaint done shit

thats my job now

Actual Dad™: Where are you right now?

Best of the Beast: not with us thats for sure

[Best of the Beast set her name to storm protector]

nope: cruise ship

aunt phoe was coming over???

so like

were here to pick up her stuff i guess

storm protector: did

did she forget that aurora can /literally/ teleport

anywhere in the world

Sunshine Child: It isn’t as though she uses that skill much, I guess?

storm protector: fair

but like

????

The Listener: I really don’t understand what you’re trying to get at there, Esther.

storm protector: why would she buy TICKETS on a BOAT to get somwhere in a hurry??

like those things are slow af

why not plane???

why not phone first??

sleepisfortheweak: listen if I dropped my shit and flew whenever I thought the twins were in danger, I’d never have got anythign done

Maybe she thought it wasn’t /that/ big a deal when she set out? The world will never know

storm protector: we might if morgan ANSWERED

18:08

storm protector: also neither of the twins defending themselves??? iconic

elephant that forgets: sorry, Arlette can’t come to the phone right now

storm protector: what

elephant that forgets: because she’s dead.

storm protector: ...

The Plan™: It’s true, I saw it happen.

Shot through the heart by her own mother.

Actual Dad™: Truly dramatic.

She keeled over at the table. In the middle of eating, of all things.

PI Sleuth: That may have been a little bit drastic.

storm protector: and u didnt get a video

for shame

Sunshine Child: We’re eating! it would’ve been rude

storm protector: buddy, so’s using ure phone at the table in general

AND YET

sleepisfortheweak: it’s ok, I’m on good terms with Diaval, I’ll just let him know to resurrect her

Don’t think there’ll be that much change tbh

elephant that forgets: it’s ok, I can perform my masterpiece for you later

that was just the dress rehearsal, I’ll polish it for when we meet back up

also @cap fuckin’ ouch

sleepisfortheweak: hey I care

I could’ve just left you in the dirt

a corpse before your time

dead before your parents

how could you do that to us

elephant that forgets: but instead

you sell me out to the god of vampires

also you killed me??? so like I don’t think you have a leg to stand on

sleepisfortheweak: well, if it works

10:43

[nope set her name to hot shit]

hot shit: @esther, league right?

we’re coming in

storm protector: kk

ruins? or just

hot shit: nah bro clearly right in the centre of the champions room

what do you take us for

storm protector: morgan???

quit stealing phones dammit

hot shit: really?

you think this is him?

I am /hurt/

what kinda son of a snack do u think I am

storm protector: so thats Kari then

suddenly everything makes sense

hot shit: yeah ya mom thought id be more sensible than him

The Listener: More fool her, then.

hot shit: absolutely

storm protector: get out of

The Plan™: if you all kick back there for a while, we’re making our way over

storm protector: *out by the ruins

@Keone, Storm still has to do the league anyhow

The Plan™: By which I mean that our tour has its finale at the league in a couple or so days, which seems like a fitting end to this whole mess

[sleepisfortheweak set her name to sleepforaweek]

sleepforaweek: catch you in my dreams

or nigHTMARES

elephant that forgets: listen if you sleep lightly enough to be woken by chat noises, you should maybe

mute the chat?

sleepforaweek: I appreciate that you thought I was asleep

elephant that forgets: just a suggestion like

Actual Dad™: Or you could turn your phone off

sleepforaweek: these are sensible suggestions

that I am going to continue ignoring

y’all aint the boss of me

storm protector: *yaint

sleepforaweek: See, you get me

Esther’s my favourite

storm protector: hot shit

hot shit: you called?

(Aurora, btdubs)

Sunshine Child: That was a little bit creepy

please don’t

hot shit: couldn’t resist

but really @tooth we’ve arrived

21:03

rip in pieces: fuck it’s good to have my phone back

wait

why is that my name

storm protector: bc u were dead to us

obviously

The Listener: It’s good to have you back properly, Morgan

storm protector: until ure next fuckery, at least

rip in pieces: did you miss the part where that wasnt my fault?

storm protector: idk did u miss the part where i didnt care

Sunshine Child: ouch

rip in pieces: ilu tooth

ilu all

storm protector: thats sweet

whos got ure phone now?

is that scruff has he learned to type

ilu scruff!!!!

rip in pieces: Why can I not profess my love for my family

Whomst I have not seen in a couple of weeks

Why can I not do that? Why must my identity be questioned?

Why do you not believe that this is me, that this is who I am?

storm protector: cap needs to teach me how her eyebrow trick

hang on

The Listener: What is going on?

[selfie style pic of Esther and Morgan; Morgan (still in his aether uniform, hair teased out of its usual ringlets and only sort of tied back) trying to look disgruntled but failing as Esther (in a tank top that says “I flexed so hard the sleeves fell off”, with bright orange hair, her right eye beginning to swell) sprawls across his chest, clearly trying to be in the way as much as possible, grinning wildly]

storm protector: i just had to give summer The Eyebrow in person

but actually it was him, so now were bonding

rip in pieces: oh yes Tooth, you are the best and I love you and this bonding is simply the best you must never bdsfljsf

The Listener: So I’m going back to my book.

Sunshine Child: g’night! I have a level to complete

01:17

[rip in pieces set his name to a gift]

a gift:

sleepforaweek

: Get your arse to sleep, you must be shattered

a gift: aye cap, I’m going

01:55

sleepforaweek: I’m glad you’re all safe, though

Thanks for making this chat, Esther

[mercyxkilling]

Just out of curiosity what's the most negative experience you've had on tumblr so far

oh, my. this is unexpected, but. if you really wanna know, sure.

i’ve had people tell me that they don’t like me, tell me to kill myself, tell me to stop writing, wtfever... and it would bother me in the moment, but i was always like, “yo, bro, what’s going on in YOUR life that you have to pick on me?” like, it’s okay. not everyone is going to like me, and i should never expect them to! i’m emotionally stable enough to brush things like that off.

i’ve been very lucky in my experiences here. i’ve met some really amazing people and have made some lasting friendships that i will always hold dearly in my heart.

but there was one guy. that one fuckin’ guy.

he used me for my writing, for my art (which makes me laugh because both are very mediocre???), and never thanked me for any of it. he strung me along in our friendship, in our threads... like, he’d said that he wanted to ship, and then we did, and then the next day he was like “oh, jk lolol” which was very frustrating and has made me approach shipping differently now. he’d say he wanted to write a certain scenario, and when we’d just get into the thick of it, he’d randomly drop the thread. and yo, that’s cool, dropping threads because your heart isn’t into it, but. he wouldn’t tell me? i’d just wonder wtf happened.

then our conversations outside of tumblr were always very labored. i’m a very empathetic person, and back then, i had more of a messiah complex than i do now. i made his problems my own, but his problems were of his own creation, and he refused to do anything to fix them. so it was constant complaints about how bad his life was while he just expected me to fix them. like. bruh. b r u h. i ain’t your mother. i ain’t your wife. i’m here for you, but i’m not going to tell you what to do. that’s not my responsibility.

then like. i saw that he was doing this to other people. befriending people who openly showed off their art in hopes of getting a foothold to get a handout. then he’d whine and complain and see what he could get out of them.

and then he kept me awake one night when he said he was going to kill himself. i called him over and over and when he finally picked up, he’d obviously been sleeping. he’d just wanted to see if he could manipulate someone into feeling something for him, so he could be validated. and that was when i was like “ahahaha, get fucked.” like, i put up with a lot because everyone is different, we all have our quirks, we all have to try to understand and respect one another, and what i do may not be the way you do things and that’s okay! but when you’re being toxic that’s when i walk away.

and if it weren’t for the love and support of @diktown and @exulantis and many others, i probably would still be talking to this motherfucker and being absolutely miserable.

which is kind of fucked, when i think about it, because, again, there were no romantic ties, no familial ties. i owed him nothing. idk. 

[avoshea]

Text messages   ✉ Avery + River. @xxriiver

Avery: it’s been a while since I’ve seen you occupy my bed. Avery: are you doing alright?

River: it's been a good minute, huh? River: i'm doing alright. just got into town recently. River: still trying to get back into small town life again.

Avery: it’s more than that Avery: did you and you haven’t come seen me yet? Avery: if you need help with that, you know where to find me

River: i had an opportunity to get out & i took it. River: i'm sorry. i didn't want you to see me how i am right now. River: thank you. might take you up on that.

Avery: are you happy about it? Avery: don’t apologize or think that would even be in issue alright? Avery: the other half of my bed is yours

River: it's done, so it doesn't matter. River: i'm just not the same as when we last saw each other. River: you might find me at your door tonight.

Avery: as long as you’re alright Avery: and I’m sure I’m different too. doesn’t mean the old river who hogged all my blankets on cold nights isn’t still there Avery: I’ll make sure to have a set of blankets for you then

River: not really. River: eh, might have gotten better at sharing idk. River: guess we'll find out about the sharing. i apologize in advance if it hasn't changed.

Avery: is anyone ever alright? Avery: oh yeah? guess we’ll see won’t we. But I’ll have some extra on hand. Avery: don’t apologize, I don’t mind it. Didn’t then, doesn’t now

River: i would hope so. we can't all be miserable, can we? River: are you still at your old place? River: how are things with you?

Avery: I mean we’re human, Riv. We all have our things. Doesn’t make us all who we are though Avery: I am, same place. Do you remember where it is, it’s not to far from Al’s Avery: things are the same, boring even.

River: That's one way to look at it. River: I remember. River: I doubt it's boring, Av. C'mon, you've had to gotten up to something while i was gone.

Avery: it really is, and you’re a great guy. you just think all that shit matters Avery: and like before, the door will be unlocked, just let yourself in later Avery: working a lot? And I doubt you’d want to hear about me taking cars apart.

River: i wish i didn't. i wish i could get away from it all. River: i will, but you should probably lock your door. River: you'd be surprised. it sounds interesting.

AVERY: I tried that. I think we both did, and here we are back here. Avery: I’m not worried, you’re the only one that knows it’s unlocked at the moment. You worried about me? Avery: if you ever want to get your hands dirty, I’ll walk you through taking an engine apart

River: fuck, you're right. goddamn good it did. i left to escape this place. River: a little, i know it's a small town but that don't mean much lately. River: no offense  but i'd probably end up falling asleep.

Avery: I tried a few times, and this place just pulled me back. Guess it had that pull on you too Avery: you’re sweet, but I think I can handle myself Avery: no kidding, It’d probably bore you right to sleep

River: I guess there really is no leaving here, huh? River: if you say so, hopefully you worked on that right hook. River: i'd be interested in seeing you work. if nothing but to pass some time and hang out.

Avery:I guess not. And we’ve both tried Avery: I have the best damn hook you’ve ever seen Martin. text: should I have a shirt on, yes or no?

Rivert: I'm sure you do, O'shea. River: and im the queen of England. River: hm, off. River: so you don't ruin your shirt.

Avery: don't worry, I can protect you if need be text right, wouldn't want to get my work shirt dirty. that'd be fuckin awful Avery: am I saving you some food?

River: ha! i don't need protecting. promise, i am like really good at fighting people now. not like i was. River: i hear grease stains are hard to get out. River: um, yeah. what'cha make?

AVERY: yeah and I don't doubt that. i've just been working out a lot recently. I gotchu;) Avery: that's why we go with the no shirt option which you don't seem to mind text i made some burgers

River: are we humble bragging here? ;P River: i.. yeah no, it's cool. doesn't bother me. River: like, by hand? no shit, didn't know you could cook.

AVERY: maybe a little bit. but I'm sure I can't take you Avery: no, nah bro, i know it doesn't. works in my favor, less tanks to wash Avery: i'm not gordon ramsey, but I'm pretty damn good at cooking

River: we should test that out some day. River: something tells me you have a large collection of tanks so getting one ruined wouldn't be a big deal. River: that's awesome. don't eat all the burgers before i get there.

Avery: so you can kick my ass? i think you'd have to much fun text: it's a preference, it gets hot as fuck. but for you i'd keep it on;) Avery: don't worry, i'll save you some

River: id go easy on ya River: i think it'd be better if you had it off, right? River: good, if i can get my truck to start I'll be over.

AVERY: look at you being all sweet text: well yeah, but I want you to be comfortable Avery: you’re truck is giving you a hard time? Guess I’m also checking that out when you get here

River: i can be sweet at times. It happens. River: i wouldnt be uncomfortable. River: it wasn't in the best condition when I got it. It needs a bit of work. River: it was the only thing I could afford.

Avery: I know you can, secret safe with me text: as long as you’re sure. Avery: well don’t worry about it, okay riv? I’ll look at for you. give you an early lesson

River: good to know. River: yeah it's cool, promise. scouts honor or something. text: cool, she's my baby. treat her right, okay? or i'll beat you up.

Avery: should I come pick you up and check it out before hand? I can put the burgers in the microwave to stay warm Avery: you know I will. I don’t want you kicking my ass

River: yeah, SOS, i'm stranded near Al's. River i can't get her to turn over at all now.

Avery: don’t worry, I’ll be there in a bit text: I’ll figure out what’s wrong with her, don’t worry

River: i'll hold you to it. River: good, i trust you with her.

[zankivich]

Neighbors: Shawn x Plus Size Reader Chapter 9

a/n: hi. this one hits a little close to home to me, but I thought it was really important to explore the ways in which our perceptions of ourselves get largely created by the people around us, by the culture around us. I also just wanted to look at how being fat and happy is such a radical notion and how it is a difficult, difficult thing to manage. I really wanted to do that justice. I also just wanted to bring Shawn and y/n closer together and I thought, what better way than a messy ass family? idk. Tell me what you think. or don’t. k bye. 

*y/n pov*

You were stupid. Honestly you had to be fucking dumb. What other reason could there be for taking Shawn to the most ridiculous family in all of the world? Your sweet, sweet boyfriend was about to be tainted and it would be all your fault for taking him into the lion’s den. The need to not be miserable for another Christmas had clouded your better judgement, and it wasn’t until you saw all of your brother’s cars parked around your mother’s tiny house that you remembered why you were always miserable. It was because your family was a shit show.

“This was stupid. We shouldn’t be here.” You mumbled.

“What?”

You looked over at Shawn, all curly haired doe-eyed optimism and the sweetest smile you’d ever seen. And suddenly you could feel the distance between the two of you. It wasn’t just the fact that he was a rockstar and you were a regular ole person. It was that he seemed to have a certain level of purity that surrounded his life. Sure, no one was perfect, but Shawn was as close as you’d ever seen. You couldn’t handle the thought of him finally recognizing just how opposites you were in that regard. You didn’t want him to see the ugly, only the good. That’s probably why people wait longer to introduce their significant others to the family. Shit.

“I wanna go home. Let’s just go home, and I’ll call them and say we had car trouble. Please?”

He turned in his seat and reached for your hand threading your fingers through the gloves you each were wearing.

“Hey. This is your family. I--I was really looking forward to meeting them. What’s wrong?”

You shook your head vigorously. “My family isn’t like your family, Shawn. Please, let’s just go.”

“No. I don’t want your family to be like mine. I just wanna understand who you are better. I wanna learn more about you, honey. That’s all.”

“Yea but what if you don’t like what you see?”

He tugged at one of your gloves bringing your bare fingers to his lips to kiss at them. You looked over and his eyes met yours leaving you to realize that he had tricked you into eye contact. Asshole.

“I can’t imagine not loving all of the parts of you. Even the not so great ones. I love the way your hair clogs the drain for example, and your incessant need to organize the spice rack in my apartment. Or your incessant need to make me purchase a spice rack to begin with.”

You pouted at him immediately. “You have to have a spice rack Shawn. It’s a necessity. And I do not clog the drain.”

“Oh but babe you do. Like a werewolf took a bath. But I find it absolutely adorable. It made me learn how to use drain-o.” He smirked. “I don’t care if your family is crazy. I just want to meet them, okay?”

You rolled your eyes the way that he deserved because he was so annoying when he was sweet, but he just kept kissing your fingers like the jackass he was.

“Fine. fine, fine, fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” You groaned.

Shawn pulled the presents you’d gotten out of the backseat and you headed inside together against your better judgement.

It’s one of your older brothers who answered the door and he’s already got a beer in hand despite the fact that it’s not even three o’clock yet, so this should definitely go well.

“Lil sis!” He snorted immediately pulling you into a headlock the bastard.

“Goddammit Rob let me go!”

He doesn’t and you’re transported back to being twelve years old and barely surviving with all the fucking testerone around. It takes a knee to the balls to get him to back off, or fall to the ground, but your family doesn’t play fair and he’d never learned to guard. You remembered when ‘Liyah had opened the door and Shawn and she had just hugged for five minutes straight. Your point was getting more proven by the second.

“Shawn this is one of my older brothers, Rob; Rob this is Shawn.”You panted, stepping over his crippled body.

Shawn winced. “Do you--would you like some help bro?”

“Don’t you dare.” You muttered pulling him deeper into the house. “We show no mercy.”

The rest of her brothers are littered around the living room. There are wives and kids and you’re anxious just looking at it all. You were the only one of the kids to not have gotten married and have children yet. And as if the physical presence of them all wasn’t clear enough, you would surely be reminded at some point in the evening. Once your brothers recognize that you’ve arrived it’s like a swarm descends and you’re suddenly being grabbed and hugged and hit from all angles.  They’re all massive and annoying and you being the baby means that they kind of all adore you, though years of emotional trauma means you all have a funny fucking way of showing it.There’s no place like home.

“Shawn these are the rest of my brothers. John is the oldest. Rob is the second oldest. Noah is the middle. And then there’s me, but you know me. Guys, this is Shawn, my boyfriend. Do not break him. I like him.”

Shawn is optimistic and smiley as ever as he reached to shake the hands of all your brothers. It is sickeningly sweet, and you love him for it.

“It’s about time she brought someone home to meet the family!” John snorted. “We were starting to think she was avoiding us.”

“I was and I am!” You interject.

Shawn chuckled. “Family is super important to me. I think she’s indulging me. I’ve heard so much about you all though; She must really love you.”

You know that he’s talking about all the times he got you wine drunk and asked you personal questions, also known as Shawn’s favorite pastime. But, tomato potato.

“She’s got a hell of a way of showing it.” Rob smirked, rolling his eyes when you flipped him off. “Lil sis, got her fancy college degree and moved as soon as possible. We’re surprised she stayed in Canada at all.”

Shawn gave you a look, but this is exactly what you knew was going to happen, so you purposely don’t make eye contact with him.

John looked Shawn up and down crossing his arms at the sight of your boyfriend. They’re about the same height, but John is more burley as opposed to Shawn’s chiseled form. You would hate to ever see them wrestle, there’s no way in hell it could end well.

“And now that she’s got a big fancy boyfriend, we figure we won’t be seeing much of her at all.”

That’s the first inkling you get that they’re not a fan of Shawn, which was something that truly had never occured to you. Shawn seemed to be like a magnet, sticking and pulling in all that came in contact with him. Everyone loved Shawn. That had been the one thing you hadn’t felt the need to worry about. Boy, were you wrong.

“I don’t know man. Like I said, family is so important to me. I’m sure we’d love to visit more if given the chance, but uh she’s her own woman. I wouldn’t want to ask her to do something she didn’t want to.”

“I bet you wouldn’t, pretty boy.”

You take that as officially your time to intervene. Your boyfriend was very pretty, but you got the sense that the way John was saying it was not meant to be a compliment. Being the baby, and the only girl of the bunch, meant that you had to know how to assert your dominance in the family. It was the only way not to get run over and stepped on. You were the most vindictive bastard out of all of them for that exact reason, so when you moved to shoulder check your oldest brother and send a glare his way, there was an immediate understanding to back the fuck off.

“Nice to see you all are still complete and utter assholes at heart. C’mon, babe I’m sure my mom is around here somewhere.”

You tug Shawn along with you and he sends a nervous glance in your direction. You wonder if he’s finally regretting coming to this hell hole.

“Did I do something wrong?” He whispered to you.

You sighed and wrapped your arms around his waist.

“Of course not. My brothers are just exerting their toxic masculinity. I haven’t brought a guy home in a very long time. They want to scare you to see if you’ll break. Don’t let it get to you.”

“Okay. I feel like I’m back in highschool but...mothers are my strong suit. I’ve never met a mother that didn’t like me.”

You snorted. “I’m not sure if your optimism is endearing or exhausting at this point.”

In the kitchen your mother was sitting at the table by herself peeling potatoes. It was a family tradition that no one was allowed inside the kitchen on big holidays when she was cooking. Not your brothers, their wives, not even her grandchildren.The only exception to the rule had been you. It’s where you learned everything you knew about cooking and baking, was afternoons after school spent beside her, when your head still met her hip, and she’d let you stand on a chair to see everything going on. When she peers up to look at you there’s a smile on her face in a very muted way. It’s more of a persing of her lips, but you know what it means and that’s all that matters. You leave Shawn’s side for just barely a second and step up to wrap your arms around her gently in a hug. You’d gotten your hair color from her, as well as your hips, chest, and fuck-off attitude. Your mother and you were very much alike in most ways. This only turned out horribly most times, but in times like this at least, you were okay.

“Hi, Mommy.” You murmured squeezing her tightly.

“It’s about time you come visit me. Your brothers are driving me up a fuckin wall, everyone of em.”

“I say you give them up for a adoption, sell the presents, and we go to Vegas.” You joked.

“Girl, don’t tempt me.”

When you look up at Shawn he’s standing against the door way with his arms crossed and a smile on his lips so big you kind of want to kiss it off of him. You hold your hand out for him to join you both at the table and he immediately links your fingers together to give them a firm squeeze.

“Mom, I wanted to introduce you to someone.” You explained biting back the smile that tended to burst from within you when it came to Shawn. “This is uh--this is my boyfriend, Shawn. Shawn, this is my mother.”

Your mom peers up at him inquisitively. It’s not a mean stare which is good, it’s just more of a searching one. He shakes her hand and squeezes it firmly between his oversized palms.

“It’s so lovely to meet you ma’am.” He grinned.

She raises her eyebrows. “You’re the popstar my sons showed me on youtube? You’re with my daughter?”

Oh lord.

He laughed. “Yes, I guess I am.”

“I like that one song. The blood song? They play it all the time on the radio.”

“In my blood? Yea! Well thank you ma’am; it’s an honor.”

You rolled your eyes at that. Shawn had gotten nominated for a grammy for that song, but as long as your mother liked it, it was an “honor”.

Your mother snorted. “Don’t call me ma’am, call me Julie.”

“Okay, Julie. Julie it is.” Shawn smiled. “Can we help you with the potatoes at all? I think peeling potatoes is one of the only things I’m good at in the kitchen besides eating.”

Your mother laughs and clutches her metaphorical pearls which is just the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen, but she lets him pull up a seat in her kitchen. It is genuinely unheard of in your household, and it takes you a second to move because you’re just watching him make your mom laugh and it’s a little bit incredible. He wore a black button up that day and when he rolled his sleeves up to wash his hands, his arms flexed and you wanted to wrap him up in your arms and nuzzle him to death. It was ridiculous the effect he seemed to have on you, and apparently any woman he came across.

“Babe, did I ever tell you? My mom used to have me and Aaliyah have competitions to see who could peel the longest string of skin off a potato. We were so competitive that now we can both peel it off in one.”

You rolled your eyes playfully and grabbed a potato from the bowl.

“Why is that the least surprising story I’ve ever heard. You guys are so wholesome it’s disgusting.”

“If you wanted to have potato peeling competitions with me baby, all you had to do was ask.” He smirked.

You shoved your hand into his face to try and dispel some of the perfection, but it was useless. In fact you were pretty sure all it did was fluff his curls into a better position. Asshole.

It had never occured to you to peel a potato in one even stream before. Because you were a normal person with things going on and who the hell has time for that. But the second Shawn held the curly strand up in front of your face like a cat bringing its owner a dead mouse, you realized that you could not be upstaged in the kitchen with this manchild you were dating. And thus began the dumbest competition to ever occur in the history of ever.

Shawn was actually really fucking good at peeling potatoes. Somehow the mystery of measuring cups failed him, but potato peeling? That’s where he shined. When your mother insisted that that was all of the potatoes that she needed, you ignored her in favor of getting out the sack of the rest of them from the cabinet.

Shawn chuckled. “Don’t worry Julie, we will take all leftover potatoes home with us.”

“You can take them home to your very cold, very lonely apartment by yourself.” You muttered as he bested you again.

Shawn dropped his peeler in favor for wrapping himself around you, half in your chair and half in his, to press all of his weight into you like the annoying man he was.

“Don’t get mad at me. You are better than me at everything else in this life. Can’t I have potato peeling?”

“No.” You moped.

He snickered. “Can I have a kiss?”

“Uh uh.”

“Not even a little one?”

“Nope.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Mmm I don’t know.”

“Well I’m not gonna kiss you until you tell me I can, so I’ll just be here until you’re ready.” He murmured.

You rolled your eyes pulling him by the collar of his shirt to press his lips against yours.

“You’re annoying.” You whispered against his mouth.

“Yea, but I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Your mom asked you to make apple pie. It was her favorite of all the things that you made and it was pretty fun for you to make so you didn’t mind it at all. Shawn brought out the wine that you had brought and poured you a big glass with ice cubes the way you liked it. He was helping you make the pie by handing you the spices one by one as opposed to actually helping at all, when your mother decided that things had been going well for too long.

Shawn and you were standing at the counter while you cut up apples and you just happened to take a sip out of your glass.

“I wish you wouldn’t drink like that. Your father hated when women drank.” She sighed.

You snorted. “Yea, Ma, Dad also hated being a dad, so I’m not sure if his expectations are ones we should be trying to meet. Last time I checked he was an alcoholic anyway.”

“Don’t speak about your dad like that. He was a great man. Especially not on Christmas.”

Your knife slowed to a crawl on the cutting board and you could feel Shawn’s eyes on you as your cheeks began to warm up.

“No, Mom, he wasn’t. He was mean and abusive and a drunk. I’m not gonna pretend that he wasn’t and you shouldn’t either. You worked too fucking hard for us all of to glorify that asshole.”

Your mom goes quiet for a little while. That’s never good, so it’s really just a means of biding your time to see what she comes up with. Shawn watches you take a bigger gulp from your glass than normal, but no one is speaking so it’s fine. You’re used to it by now, but it’s Shawn first time at the rodeo. Your mother was your whole entire world because she had managed to create a life for four children off a nine to five desk assistant job with no college degree. She’d worked her ass off for them, but it had come at a price. And that price was years and year of emotional and physical trauma that she had endured through her husband. When it was all set and done that trauma didn’t just evaporate; it became internalized, and then it got regurgitated back onto you and your brothers. So when she opens her mouth it’s not to say anything good at all, and suddenly all of your fears about this day are just spilling out into the room and you’re helpless to stop them.

“So, Shawn… You’re successful. Young. Very handsome.” She murmured. “What exactly are you doing with my daughter?”

You were facing the counter, but Shawn had leaned against it the opposite way so that he was facing your mother. This meant that you caught a glimpse of his face going into shock without having to see your mother’s reaction to it.

“W--What...I’m not sure I understand what you mean, ma’am.”

If you could have spoken in that moment you would’ve told him that allowing your mother to expand and clarify her statements was never a wise idea.

“You know what I mean, son. My daughter isn’t exactly a supermodel. We l/n women have not gotten through life on the basis of our looks, that’s for sure. All that wine and potatoes certainly isn’t helping things.”

Holy fuck. If global warming could have sped up in that moment just enough for a crater to form in the earth beneath your kitchen and swallow you whole you’d be good with that.

“I happen to love your daughter ma’am. She’s an incredible, intelligent woman, and her body is just one on a very long list of things that I adore about her. You really shouldn’t say things like that.”

The knife isn’t even moving anymore. As many times as you’d heard it and everything like it, you could never grow used to the way your mom could speak sometimes. And as much as you’d learned about your body and the beauty it entailed, something about coming home always brought up the ugliest of thoughts that you were sure you’d gotten rid of. The new thing here was having Shawn defend you. Your brothers, though sympathetic had never jumped to your defense before. His willingness to go against her when he had been so concerned with making a good impression was kind of baffling. You weren’t used to it, or how good it could make you feel. There were so many different emotions running through you in that moment that they felt difficult to contain within you.

“What?! What I’d say? Oh y/n you’re always so sensitive and now you’ve got this poor young man doing the same.” Julie muttered.

You chuckled humorlessly. “Sure thing, Mom. My bad.”

“I wasn’t saying anything bad. I was just pointing out the obvious, dear. I was interested in what had brought the two of you together is all.”

“Then maybe next time you could just ask that as  opposed to asking the guy I’m dating what the hell he could possibly see in me.” You snapped letting the knife clang loudly on the counter. “Jesus Christ, I’m going for a walk.”

It’s cold as shit outside and the snow is up to your ankles, but somehow it feels less cold then being in the kitchen with your mother for another second. You breathed in and out a couple of times to calm yourself down. When you were younger and your mom would say shit like that it would cause a sort of thought spiral to begin in your head. It would be all that you thought about and all that you could focus on. The good news was that it didn’t consume you in quite that way anymore. But, it did hurt and it did affect you whether you wanted it to or not.

Shawn found you on the porch sitting on the bench that was sat outside and letting the snow sink into your pants. He was wearing that hideous yellow flannel jacket of his that made him happy, and he simply plopped down beside you so that your shoulders touched. You were still focusing on breathing at that point in time because you really didn’t want to cry in front of him. It felt like an admittance of some sort if you did, although to what you weren’t sure.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” He mumbled  as you leaned your head against his shoulder. “I--I didn’t know.”

It was cold enough that the wind was biting at your cheeks and your eyes were watering without ever asking you if it was fucking okay to do such a thing.

“It’s fine.” You whispered. “Everything’s fine.”

He lifted his arm up to let you nestle closer to him and pulled you against him to press a kiss to your hair.

“It doesn’t have to be. It’s okay for it not to be fine. You taught me that.”

You sniffled. “I don’t have the time to fall apart right now.”

“Do you wanna go?”

“It’s too late. I can’t let her see that it got to me anymore than I already have. Leaving would only fuel her.”

“Okay...Well I have this very absorbent, beautiful jacket here that I know you know love so much. And I’ve heard that anything that happens to this coat stays in this coat. So, I think if you were to hide your face against it, it might be our little secret.”

You roll your eyes and laugh a little as a tear falls down your cheek. But when he’s offering you solace your helpless but to take it, so you tucked your face into the safe confines of his coat and let the tears seep angrily into the fabric. He rubbed soothingly at your arms and kept his face hidden in your hair. It was also as if he was protecting you from the world. That’s how it felt anyway. And you thought that if you’d been able to provide a fraction of the comfort that you got when he held you, than maybe you’d actually given him something good as well.

When you pull your face back ten minutes later the air hits aggressively at your cheeks but he’s immediately there to kiss and wipe away the tears.

“I think you’re really beautiful when you cry.” He smiled. “Not that I want you to do it unless you need to. You’re just beautiful to me.”

“Thank you.” You sighed still sniffling. “I told you we were a shit show.”

“That’s okay. No family is perfect y/n, not even mine. There’s still no place I’d rather be than here with you right now.”

You feel that pressure in your nose that happens when you cry. It’s like a clogging of your sinuses but instead of it being through illness, it’s just through sadness. Your shoulders are tense and your body is on guard the way it usually had to be. Something about having Shawn with you made you want it to be different. You had invited him after all because you knew you could be happy with him beside you. There was a need to take control of the narrative that so far your family had been running. And you thought that maybe you could make it better for the two of you.

“Do you wanna get high right now?”

His eyes widened and you couldn’t help but laugh a little into his neck.

“I’m sorry?”

“Noah? My brother? He’s a total pothead. We’re the closest in age though so he always shares with me. I need to mellow out before I go back in there.”

“You didn’t tell me you smoke.”

You laughed. “Neither did you. You just told the entire world instead.”

That’s how you end up hotboxing your garage with your brother and your boyfriend. You’d never seen Shawn put a blunt between his lips, but it might just be the hottest thing you’d ever seen in your life. Weed tended to make you horny, so it’s genuinely a matter of not jumping his bones on the hood of your mom’s ‘98 Honda. Noah had always had ridiculously strong weed too so within twenty minutes you’re all leaning against any hard surface you can find having a conversation about the ethics of mass female consumption in the music industry.

“It doesn’t bother you that like your body is essentially for sale?” Noah asked as he took another hit and passed it to you.

Shawn was answering but your brain had only caught the “your body” part and was working on undressing Shawn mentally right then and there.

“I don’t think so. I mean...I think my fans think I’m cute or whatever, but like the vast majority are here for the music. If my music sucked they could find someone just as good looking if not more and move on to the next guy. I know it’s about the music because they tell me about it constantly. It's always been about that for us.”

“Okay but like is it ethical to sell your body for fame, I guess is the question. And then like it is ethical to request hundreds of hundreds of dollars from what are essentially children?”

Shawn sort of squinted as he took the blunt from you and nestled it between his lips. Jesus, his lips. His hands. Hmmmmm.

“I gotta be honest dude, you’re kind of blowing my high.” He chuckled.

You snorted wrapping your arms around your boyfriend and sending your brother an accusatory look.

“Noah likes to get philosophical when he’s high. Let him get baked before we go bake please.”

Noah rolled his eyes. “Fine. Mom’s gonna be pissed when you come into the kitchen smelling like weed though.”

“Exactly.” You grinned.

Eventually Noah went inside to check on his wife and it was just the two of you. Shawn’s eyes were red and his cheeks were the same sort of hue and he was sending you this lazy smile that you wanted to lick off. It was really sort of ridiculous, what he did to you. And you wished more than anything that you’d gotten high together months ago because it probably would have solved all of their problems, if how good he looked right now was anything to go by.

“You’re kind of hot when you’re high.” You murmured stepping between his legs. “Why haven’t you told me about this again?”

His hands came to settle on your hips before immediately finding purchase on your ass the way that you liked. He pulled you closer between his thighs so that your hips touched.

“I don’t know. It’s a uh a sort of self-care thing for me I think? I don't do it just to get high, I do it because when I’m very anxious it calms me down. I like the way it makes me feel. I didn’t want you to think it’s all that I do though.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and smiled goofily at your incredibly endearing and constantly overthinking boyfriend.

“Did I ever tell you about the time Stu, Bryan, and I went to Coachella?”

He pressed your foreheads together as if every part of your bodies needed to be touching, and in that moment they kind of did.

“No, but I’d love to hear it.”

“Basically I had student loan money out the ass that I definitely shouldn’t use. Stu and Bryan were like highschool sweethearts or some shit, and since they didn’t go to the same school Bryan surprised Stu with tickets to Coachella. We all go. Bryan sneaks us into some boogie ass tent that I’m positive we weren’t supposed to be at, but they had drugs set out like it was a fucking candy bar. So, we smoke enough weed to put Snoop Dog into a coma, I think Bryan and Stu did like cocaine or E or some shit, and then we all went and watched The fucking Wu Tang Clan perform in the middle of a mosh pit. I think I almost died that weekend.”

He laughs a laugh that you’ve never heard come out of his body before. Shawn usually had a laugh that was quiet, it was always a sort of silent chuckle. Whatever the hell was being produced in front of you was nothing of the sort. His whole body shook and the laugh seemed to stem from his belly and explode outwards. It was the cutest shit you’d ever seen in your life, and you’d happily smoke him out all of the time if it meant getting him to laugh like that.

“Holy shit, I can just imagine you doing that too.” He laughed. “I’ve always wanted to go to Coachella.”

“Yea? We can go next summer. You, me, Bryan and Stu, maybe your friends can come too. We’ll get high as possible. It’ll be fun.”

He hummed softly and snuggled deeper into your arms.

“I think Andrew would hate that idea...Let’s do it.”

***

*Shawn’s pov*

Christmas with Y/n’s family is more of a shit show than he could have ever imagined. But it also served as the most informative experience to understanding who she was as a person. To see her be this confident, take-the-world-by-the-balls woman now knowing the context of where she came from made him fall in love with her all over again. He understood her necessity to do everything on her own, with the role model of a mother who hadn’t had a choice, and a relationship with her family that hadn’t really felt supportive. It was clear that she was the baby and that they had wanted her to follow in the pattern of everyone else, to get married like her mom had, and maybe have some kids. It was also obvious that they didn’t understand the success that she’d achieved in her life thus far, couldn't wrap their minds around her having her own assistant instead of being one. And yet at the heart of it all every single one of her family members absolutely adored her. It felt incredibly disorientating and conflicting just watching it, and so he he couldn’t imagine what it would be like to live it.

It isn’t until later when the pie is baking and the ham is still in the oven that she takes him to her childhood bedroom. There’s not much to explore because her mom had gotten rid of her stuff when she went off to school. So, they just lie on her twin size mattress with her head on his chest as she opens up to him again.

“My dad left for the final time on Christmas.” She murmured. “He’d always disappear for weeks or months at a time on benders or whatever, but when I was seven he left for good. I was so young that I-I didn’t understand you know? That he was sick and dealing with addiction. I thought...I thought it was my fault.”

He reaches to tangle his fingers in her hair and kisses soothingly at her forehead.

“Holidays are hard. I’ve just never really worked through that feeling I don’t think. And I try not to feel that way. So that’s why I don't come home very often and that’s why,” She pauses to smile and squeeze him. “That’s why it meant so much to have you here...Thanks.”

“Anytime.” He promised kissing her forehead. “I’m sorry if I forced you to stay when you didn’t want to. You should always have a choice and I feel like I took that from you.”

“No. Don’t apologize. Now when I think back on this room I’ll remember this moment, and not all the fucked up shit that happened here. That alone is worth it.”

It doesn’t really make him feel less guilty. There’s so much history there for her and so much of it seems to be bad. He had forgotten that just because home for him had always been this incredible, special place that not everyone got to have that. And it wasn’t fair of him to assume that of her, that maybe even making that assumption had hurt her more in the end. All he knew was that he wanted to make it up to her, because she was so good to him that even if he had done something wrong she’d never admit it, but he was high as a kite with so few good ideas in his head.

“You think maybe I could give you some more good memories here?”

“Like what?”

He moved to press his lips to her ear, all the more better to whisper his plans to her like the delicate secret it was.

“Like if I ate you out so good the only thing you can remember about this place is the time you had to try not to shout my name.”

Sometimes she looked at him with wide eyes when he would say things like that. His girlfriend was an absolute vixen, but it always seemed to surprise her that he could do the same. He was definitely the softer, more reserved one of the two, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be open with just had badly he wanted her always. But then she would grin at him a lot like how she was now, and it always led to good things. Very. Good. Things.

“You’re high right now.” She mumbled as he climbed his way on top of her body.

He was already working on the button to her jeans but sent a lazy smile up to her from above.

“Absolutely. Now be a good girl and open wide for me.”

***

He watched her hug her family as this sort of bittersweet moment. Her brothers all rallied around her, sweeping her up in their arms. It was love, and love was complicated and messy and deeply impacted by the circumstances one occupied. But, it was their love, and if there was anything he’d learned from their time there was that love could be good and bad simultaneously. When he shook the hands of all of her brothers for a final time, he got the sense that much wouldn’t change. She would always love every single one of them, but if she had her way, and she would have her way, they wouldn’t be visiting here again soon. And if it meant that she would be happy; he was absolutely okay with that.

In the car they sit for a moment in silence, nothing but the sound of the heater filling the space. She looks a little overwhelmed, a little tired, but she’s also smiling. So he figures it’s as good a time as any to do what he’d been planning.

“Hey can I...can I give you one of your presents right now?” He murmured.

She’d been lying her head against the headrest but now she fluttered her lashes at him in interest.

“Sure. I thought you wanted to wait until we got to your parents’ house though?”

“Yea. No, I did, but uh...I wanted to give you this one in private.”

She grinned. “Is it a sex thing?”

He snorted and pressed a hand against his heart in mock disturbance

“Jesus, y/n, no it’s not! I’m trying to be sentimental here and you’re ruining it.”

She pressed her lips together to try to mask her smile and it only made her even more adorable.

“Sorry. Sorry. My bad. Please continue.”

He rolled his eyes playfully but reached over her to grab the box from the glove department. It was a smooth satin box, long and rectangular. He turned so that their bodies were close to one another and rested the box on his thigh as he took her hands in his.

“I just...this year has been the most incredible year of my life. Not in a gloaty way but my music has never been better--there’s the grammys and we sold out the Rogers centre and all of the festivals, and I’ve just been working as hard as can ya know? It’s been incredible and yet...you’re my favorite part of this year.”

A snort came past her lips like she couldn’t believe that and so he squeezed down harder on her fingers.

“No, listen. This has been the most incredible year of my life, but it’s also been the hardest. And I haven’t really been able to deal with it all very well. I’ve just sort of kept pushing and kept working but you . . . you’ve become my best friend. And you make me appreciate it all. And honestly every time i flew home this year I couldn't sit still on the plane because I knew as soon as I landed I might get to see you. I know we haven’t been friends super long, and we’ve dated even less than that but I can’t imagine my life without you, sweetheart. I--I love you so much and I just want to make you happy, okay? Always.”

“Shawn.” She mumbled letting her hands fall to where their fingers were intertwined on her lap.

He reached for the box and settled it on her knee instead, flipping the lid to reveal its contents. They were two necklaces, sterling silver, and each of them were tiny swallows. He’d thought about it a thousand times, had almost returned them and gotten something else dozens, but when she gasped and her hands came to cover his mouth, he thought just maybe he might have gotten it right.

His fingers trembled slightly as he lifted one of the tiny birds into his palm.

“I thought it might be pretentious and annoying and stupid.” He sighed softly. “But, I know how much you like the pennant my grandmother gave me, and I know that my swallow is your favorite tattoo. And I know that...next year is gonna be so crazy for me, and for us, so I thought if we both had these that you would know I’ll always come back to you. We’ll uh--we’ll always come back to each other.”

Seconds feel like minutes, like hours, when you’re trying to do something nice for the person you love. It’s either an incredible gift, or the dumbest thing ever, and he genuinely couldn’t tell which. They’re sitting in the middle of a snowy driveway in the middle of a nowhere town in Ontario, and he’s professing his love for her with a gift, and she’s absolutely silent. And then she begins to cry and his heart is pounding in his chest and he doesn’t know what the hell he’s supposed to do.

“Did I--Did I fuck it up? Shit, shit it’s dumb. Look, I’m so sorry. I can fix it though. I can send it back and I can get you something else, just don’t--don’t cry!  Please, baby don’t cry!”

She brings her hands up to cover her face and he wonders if a man has ever been dumped in his own vehicle before. Surely, that would be a new one.

“UGH!” She groans something that sounds vaguely flemmy. “That is the sweetest thing in the whole entire world. I cannot believe you right now.”

He collapsed against the car seat, his hand coming up to press against his heart and make sure it hadn’t exploded. His girlfriend was slightly dramatically and he was all here for it when it wasn’t giving him a heart attack.

“You don’t hate it?” He checked.

Her eyes were still covered but now her lips were trembling and tears were oozing down her cheeks.

“No I don’t hate it, dammit. That’s so fucking sweet. My heart, Shawn, my heart!”

When he went to pull her hands away from her face, she was genuinely a sight to behold. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks tear stained, and her lips had somehow become more red. Maybe it was a bit sadistic, but she was beautiful. And so he kissed her, the saltiness of her tears touching his lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, his slipping around her back in the tiny space of his jeep. Though there had been nothing but absolute fear and terror just moments before, now his heart was full, warm. She had that effect on him. He figured it meant he was just as gone on her as he thought himself to be.

“Will you put it on for me?” She whispered sniffling.

He fumbled embarrassingly with the clasp, his fingers not built for tiny metal pieces, but eventually managed to secure it around her neck. When the swallow nestle along her throat, she pressed her fingers against the smooth metal and smiled at him lovingly.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you, Shawn.”

He shook his head pressing another kiss to her cheek.

“Anything for you.” He mumbled. “Anything.”

She insisted on putting his around his neck as well. There’s an extremely cheesy moment where he presses his fingers against the bird along her throat and she does the same for him, but it doesn’t feel cheesy in the slightest. It feels important. It feels like maybe they’re deeper into their relationship than even either of them could have guessed.

When they arrived at his parent’s place again for Christmas day, his Mum notices their necklaces almost immediately. She doesn’t ask any questions, she just looks at him like she knows something that he doesn’t. It’s a smile of a mother who knows her child better than they know themselves. And he wonders if she knows that he loves her more than anything else in the world, because that’s what it feels like for him in the moment. But he just hugs her and lets her kiss his forehead instead.

Taglist: @kitykatnumber @lou-and-me @ourlittleshawnie @mutuallynotmutual @wanderingmendes @peacedolantwins2 @chels-nyc @illloveyouforever1 @justbeingoceana  @hayyitsfayy @claredolphinbear24  @september-lace @grittyisathot

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #220

“as long as god in heaven dwell, your soul, your soul shall scream in hell.”

Would people consider you more immature or mature? It depends on the context. Emotionally, I think I'm considerably mature. As far as eligibility to be a proper adult goes, yeah. No. Would people consider you more funny or serious? I personally don't think I'm very funny, but I'm not super serious, either. Are you currently in love with someone? Who is this person? So... I'm quietly pondering over whether or not I'm just biromantic, not bisexual. I genuinely think I'm in love with my girlfriend, I do, but we have so, so little actually sexual experience that I don't know if "bisexual" fits me. I totally adore her romantically, I know that, but maybe sexually, I'm not into her? I don't know. It's hard for me to say because when I picture doing certain "things," I can't really tell what I feel. I don't take that as an "I'm not into it" though, considering I've wound up liking things with a guy I didn't think I would with anyone, something I only discovered by doing it. This whole situation was driving me insane a few days ago to the point I felt sick, but I've calmed myself out of it to where I've accepted I just have to wait and learn, being long-distance. I'm still entirely invested in us and am going to be honest learning about myself. I haven't actually talked to Sara about it and don't want to unless I come to learn this hunch has credibility. Which room in your house are you in? What color are the walls? My bedroom; light puke green, Why God. What is your absolute favorite hobby? Who got you interested in it? I don't really know about my "absolute favorite." It depends on my mood, really. I think maybe watching my favorite YouTubers tops the list, something Jason actually started with PewDiePie; or RPing, which I got into myself thanks to Meerkat Manor. Would the people you know say you have a nice singing voice? Barely anyone ever hears me sing, so idk. I personally feel my voice suits only few songs. Would you say most of your friends are older/younger than you? Ummm, good question. All but two are very close in age range, but most of my friends/closer acquaintances are kinda split around either side. Were you named after anyone famous or anyone on television? Nope. Are you listening to music right now? If so, who’s singing the song? Yeah, I'm listening to Khemmis' cover of "A Conversation With Death." It's the intro song to that new game Man of Medan and is so badass. All the comments are like "came here from so-and-so's LP because this is epic" and same. What is your dream career? What inspired you to pursue this career? Probably meerkat biologist if I could handle the heat and was okay with moving, or paleontologist if I wasn't opposed to heavy travel. I love meerkats and dinosaurs v v much. If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot? No. What would you say is your favorite holiday? Why did you choose this? Halloween bc spooks and costumes and candy. Does it feel odd being around your friend’s parents? Why or why not? If I'm alone with them and don't know them very well, sure? What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Is there one in your city? Sonic, probably. And no, but in our neighboring city. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Is there one in your city? Olive Garden. See above. Do you ever take pictures with family members around the holidays? Mom pretty much forces it, lol... Have you ever thought you were adopted because of opposing interests? Y'ALL not kidding I legit asked my fucking mom if I was adopted in elementary school bc I thought she hated me one day versus my little sister lmfao. I went through a phase of feeling like she couldn't be "this mean" to her legitimate child. Are you more interested in indoor activities or outdoor things? Hm, that depends on the activities available. Most outdoor things are more fun, though. When is the next time you’ll see someone you’re crushing on? We were just talking a couple days ago about our next visit, actually. If I can financially, I'm probably coming up to see her for her birthday again, as that's when I have a decent break from school. Speaking of which, how many people are you crushing on right now? Lol I mean it's been just shy of two years, a "crush" doesn't cut it. Have you ever played Super Mario Bros. for Nintendo DS? Was it fun? No, actually. I didn't grow up playing Mario games. What exactly is your favorite gaming system? Do you have this system? The PS2. It had a giant graphical leap, contains SOOOOO many goodies, and you can still play PS1 games on it. How often do you talk on the phone? Who do you talk with the most? Very very rarely, pretty much only ever with my mom or dad. I hate talking on the phone. Do you normally do what other people around you want you to do? Depends. What does your trick-or-treat bag or pail look like? I don't have one anymore, but it used to be an orange, plastic jack-o-lantern. How old will you turn on your next birthday? 24... wow. What are your plans to celebrate? Probably just go out to dinner with family. What floor do you live on? I only have one floor. Do you have a balcony? No. What is your favorite fall drink, if you had to pick just one? None. Which X Factor audition(s) was/were your favorite? I've never watched it. Were you a straight A student in spelling and grammar? I'm pretty sure I was in my entire school career... Damn dude, proud. Were you a straight A student in math? HA hell no. I could get a C sometimes. Were you abused or do you know anyone who was abused? I wasn't, but I know people. Are you a Democrat or Republican, or neither? Neither. Independent. Who would take care of you if you needed surgery? My mom and dad, as far as bills go. Do you think you have an accent? Not really. Sometimes you can hear it, though. Have you been told you have an accent? Only when I was younger. I had a SERIOUS one. My family in NY couldn't even understand me sometimes, lmao. Where do you live (country or state)? North Carolina. If you could start a church, what would it be like? I wouldn't. Are there any shades of blue that you don’t like? If so, which ones? Nah. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? Get a goddamn stable job. Do you know what your purpose in life is? Spreading the love and respect of animals and conservation. If you live in an apartment, what is the maintenance man’s name? N/A What are some fall activities you would do with your kids? Hypothetically, if I had/wanted kids, I'd enjoy carving pumpkins with them, obviously taking them trick-or-treating, autumnal crafts would be fun together, and watching Halloween/scary films appropriate to their age would be a nice experience. I'd decorate the house with them. Oh, a hayride would be cool together, I love those. AND DON'T FORGET JUMPING INTO LEAF PILES! I have a lot of ideas for someone who doesn't want to be a mom. Have you ever seen a fox? Yeah. At least one alive, a handful as roadkill. What color are the squirrels where you live? Brown. What do the trees look like where you live? Pine trees. Pine trees. What was the best vacation you’ve been on so far? Disney World as a kid. What is the best class trip you’ve been on? I really enjoyed the trip to Beaufort to an island of wild horses. The water was rough that day, and goddamn... watching the ocean in its aggression was unbelievable. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? UM, DID ANY KID NOT????? Do you find museums boring or interesting? Very interesting! Gimme a science museum and I'm SOLD. What are three issues you are passionate about? GAY RIGHTS, wildlife and nature conservation, women's rights and the pro-choice argument. What are three countries you have no desire to visit? North Korea, Iraq, and... uh... idk. I guess the Middle East in general. That shit's rough. Do you like your country’s flag? Sure? Stars r dope? Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? NO. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? Oh. My. God. When I was on three Klonopin a day (I'm now on just one and don't even take it every day), I literally could not function. There was one day in particular (I was on three very briefly bc of this) where I just slept until evening. I physically could not stay awake. I remember I was in the middle of watching a Game Grumps' Mario playthrough, and I'd only last like, ten minutes before I HAD to lie back down, and I'd fall back asleep in like, a minute. That was one of the most awful days ever, I was miserable. Do you like bath bombs? Sure, they're pretty. Who is your favorite neighbor? I don't actually know any. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? He's not very small, I think he's at about a million and a half subs, but Timmy Timato is so fucking iconic. He is an Actual Mood. I have no interest in what he actually posts; I just watch for him. As well, Johnny Paranormal is cool; he's a fuckin awesome guy and is chill and relaxing to watch. I don't watch him religiously, though. Rarely, actually. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? HAVE U HEARD OF????? THE MARKIPLIER GUY??????? What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? I think it was the Pussycat Dolls, fuck off, don't say shit 2 me "Buttons" is still dope. Do you like Disney movies? Blocked & reported if you don't. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Man idk, I enjoy a lot. I enjoyed The Avengers, and Logan REALLY tugged at my heart. Do you have any credit card debt? I don't have a credit card. Have you ever been really late for work because you slept past your alarm? No. What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Swimming. What’s the longest you’ve worked without a day off? Probably like... two days, lmao. It's not like I have a lot of experience. Have you ever been scammed? I don't think so. Where were you the last time you kissed someone? The airport. How’s your mental health? Are you feeling well? It's fine. Do you struggle with acne? No, not anymore. Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? RP is definitely the "strangest." Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Are you the clubbing type? Definitely not. Never been, not interested. Bar goer? No. I don't trust strangers + alcohol, and I'd be really scared of being hit on. Song you can’t stand? I don't think there's a song I've heard that I hate more than "Welcome To The Machine" by Pink Floyd. Well, correction, "Friday" by Rebecca Black. That autotuned to all fuck voice is just... major ew. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? Jason is. Well, if he looks the same as last time I saw him, which was in 2017. Juan doesn't look half bad. Aaron's cute. What is unattractive about them? Jason: fucking communication skills. Juan: his reckless streak. Aaron: nothing that I know of, he's a sweetie and on a great path. Your hottest ex’s name starts with the letter what? J. Pick two highlighter colors: Yellow, Pink, Blue, Purple, Orange. Pink and orange. Has anyone ever written on you? Who hasn't been written on by friends with markers as a kid? Have you ever dated a fat person? Yes. Have you ever dated someone with a fine ass body? I mean this with total respect and love towards her: Sara's body is genuinely sexy. Her figure is amazing. Have you ever had any article of clothing tailored? What for? Yeah, for prom, as well as my sister's wedding. Do you welcome people back when they say they have returned? Yes. What are two foods you think taste good with whipped cream? I fucking hate whipped cream. How long would it take you to walk to the nearest fire hydrant? I've never paid attention, actually... Do you own anything that has the words or picture of ‘mustache’? Well my Mark tribute tat has the Iconic pink mustache on it, and the texting screen background on my phone is also a pink mustache collage-y thing lmao. When you see a feather on the ground, do you ever pick it up? Yeah, sometimes. If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef? On a burger. How would you feel marrying the man you love who has already a son? I don't love a man, and I wouldn't marry anyone with a kid. Have you ever played Roller Coaster Tycoon? What did you think of it? No, but I had SeaWorld Tycoon or whatever it was called. I loved that game. When you are chopping onions, does it really affect your eyes personally? I've never cut an onion myself, but when I'm in the proximity of someone doing it, I feel mild irritation. How long can you hold your breath for? Is there anyone who is better? Idk, I don't feel like testing it. When was the last time you had a pet goldfish? What was its name? I couldn't even try to guess. Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way? No. Do you enjoy mayonnaise with French fries? Why or why not? Um that sounds disgusting. Did your last significant other have a huge temper? Actually, he warned me that he can and he was nervous about me ever seeing it. I, thank Christ, never witnessed it, though. I would've broken the fuck down, I can't handle angry men. What was the topic discussed in the last meeting you attended? I don't know the last time I went to a "meeting." Honestly, when’s the last time you genuinely liked someone? Now. Are you Team Jacob, Team Edward, or you just don’t care? I've never been into Twilight, but I find Jacob way more attractive. Do you like it when questions are long and make you think? Yes. Have you ever had love at first sight happen to you? No. Do you think Avatar is really all that great? I'm assuming you mean the movie and not TLA? I never saw the full thing, but I would love it. Love or trust? Trust, I think. You can't love someone in a healthy fashion if you don't trust them. What do you think about sexting? Not about that personally. That'd be so awkward. Have you ever done it? Those days where RP mating scenes on YouTube were over private message, timeskipping wasn't a thing... oh boy. It WAS uncomfortable. Would you ever swim with dolphins? Yeah! Have you ever believed a stereotype? Probably at some point. Have you ever tried marijuana? No, though tbh I probably would (but not through smoking it) for anxiety and panic attacks if it was legal in my state. Is there any reason you should be in jail right now? Can you go to jail for illegally downloading, or it is just a fine? Idk. Did the house you grew up in have a big yard? I mean, it was decent. What has been the most difficult class you’ve ever taken? Latin. That shit was so hard. Do you have any medication that you keep with you at all times? Yes, for panic attacks. What’s something that’s much more difficult than a lot of people realize? Heartbreak. Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Yes, but Mom played a larger role. Did any of the classes you took in high school count towards uni credit? No. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair. Do you plan outfits? "Not unless it’s a special occasion." <<< Are your parents strict? No. Would you go sky diving? Probably not. I'm afraid of heights, and I'd be really scared the parachute wouldn't deploy. Who sits behind you in your math class? Quite honestly, a bitch. She always has shit to say under her breath. Do you have good vision? No, it's awful. When was the last time you watched a show for people younger than you? Last I was with Sara. We're watching Avatar: The Last Airbender together. Have you ever snuck someone into your house before? No. Is there something your significant other does that bothers you completely? She's competitive and admits to it. A lot, particularly in writing, is a "mine needs to be better" thing. When was the last time you kissed someone on the cheek? When I saw my niece and nephew at my nephew's birthday party. How many best friends do you have? One. Did you ever get bullied as a child or were you the bully? Neither. Would you rather eat grape or strawberry jelly or jam? GRAPE. I hate strawberry jam/jelly. Do your parents ever send you to do their grocery shopping for them? No. Do you know anyone who has a speech impediment? I don't think I do personally. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was like... 11-12 or so, maybe? Possibly younger? Have you ever had a significant other who hit you? Fuck no. Do you own any exercise machines? No. Do you still leave/receive voicemails? If I need to, sure. School leaves me voicemails sometimes if I miss a call. Do you live in your hometown? No. Are you a festive person? Do you enjoy holidays? Not very festive, but I mean, I enjoy 'em. Did you/Will you attend college? I'm back in college now!! You’re feeling down - do you listen to sad music or happy? Sad. Listening to music fitting my mood helps me feel related to and not alone. You’re looking for some new music - what’s your preferred way to discover? YouTube recommendations. Do you watch the news? No. What hooks you to a television show? The most important thing is A GOOD PLOT!!! It needs to be really interesting to me, bc I do NOT get into shows easily. As for funny shows, they need to be fuuuuunny. I don't think I could ever get "hooked" on a show again, though. I just don't watch TV. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine? Yes. On the morphine occasion, it didn't do jackshit. I don't think they gave me nearly enough. Is there anyone that makes your skin crawl? The #1 thing that most fits the definition of "skin crawling" to me is seeing a fetus move from outside the stomach, especially the further the mother is along. It's fucking alien-esque and actually makes me scream and panic. Are people more likely to tell you to tone it down or to speak up? It can be either. Do you have a dining room in your house? No. Do you know the alphabet in any other languages? Very close to all of German's. I blank and aren't sure on a couple. How many people have you had sex with? One. Have you ever been surfing? No.

[redactedwriting]

https://www.tumblr.com/redactedwriting/756042102404759552/httpswwwtumblrcomredactedwriting756035583180?source=share

ooooh...pete showing up in joe's dreams and then being the first face he sees in hell. and he fucks him first while telling him in detail how much he's thought about this and everything he wants to do to him....

WHEW HI HELLO

pete dream demon i love this so much. change of plans he’s a dream demon now, not incubus. inky pete you were loved so dearly but this has destroyed my LIFE

like, ofc he’s got an actual body lol. hes not some vague blob of a demon, he’s got it all. most of it works. and he projects himself into thousands of dreams every night. oh this is miserable he’s a dream demon because he has insomnia. it’s the perfect job. i’m gonna be sick /pos.

anyway he goes into dreams and one night he hits joes little fantasy and joe is very intrigued by pete’s form, his words. so his subconscious allows pete access to like, i dunno, influence the dream?? idk we will have to lore build on this LOL but pete can make shit happen in joes dreams like right off the bat. and he keeps going back to joe, because joe actually has rly cool dreams and pete doesn’t rly Like To Work so usually he just fucks around in joes dream bubble and sometimes waves his fingers around for temptation but mostly watches the dream like a movie. and joe keeps letting him in, recognizing the face, the words. and then when he summons pete and andy and patrick, he sees pete and is like. bro i am way too fuckin high for this rn. what the hell and also fuck.

also did u mean joe fucks pete or the other way around bc both are Spicy.

if joe goes to hell and sees pete and fucks him…….man. what if. what if he doesn’t waste any time and just fucks pete wherever they meet up. and maybe pete is very switch in this verse (bc of his demonic nature) but prefers being more bottomy. so when joe gets to hell and immediately fucks pete stupid and whines into his ear about how badly he’s wanted pete? how he keeps popping into all of joes dreams, wet dreams normal dreams nightmares? how joe sometimes jolts awake feeling like pete milked his brain? pete blissfully laughs, fucked out and breathless, and says “doin’ my job right then, tell that to-/fuck/-tell that to andy…”

“fuckin-who? i just got here,”

“hot guy in the throne with big ass horns. andy, devil, satan, whatever. him, tell it to him, and tell him to-there, baby, right there!- to gimme a raise-“

“you get paid in hell???!”

“yeah. no. complicated, just! just fuck me, baby, cmon, fuck me and show me how bad you wanted me”

[explcsivcs]

––––– ( jacob elordi, cismale, he/him ) i just saw CASEY O'NEILL walking down the street’s of provincetown the other day playing WATCH ME by JADEN out loud. rumor has it that the TWENTY-TWO year old is +CHARISMATIC, but can also be -RECKLESS — overall they’re a CRIMSON. they remind me of THE SOUND OF A REVVING CAR ENGINE, BOTTLE ROCKETS AT MIDNIGHT, NEUTRAL COLOR SCHEMES, and EMPTY MOVIE THEATERS.  –– it’s your local idiot, here with a new child! he’s a mess, but aren’t they all ?? like this or whatevaaaa and i’ll come to u for PLOTS !

BACKGROUND.

casey boiiii was born in london to a couple’a rich folk. dad, sean, is the ceo of a massive pharmaceutical company, and mom, emma, is from old money but spends most of her time bein’ a lil socialite and doing heavy charity work. they were good for a long long time. like casey grew up wanting for nothing, attending elite private schools and just all around living The Dream™

his dad is stern and driven by logic and money. if it were up to him, he woulda been working 24/7 and leaving his son in the hands of a nanny until he was old enough to inherit the company lmao. his mama is the one who really ... held the family together. she stayed home with case, she made sure sean regularly spent time with the family. queen of holidays and sunday dinners. casey was absolutely a mama’s boy

all was well! until casey turned 12 and his mom fell terminally ill. she passed away within like six months of her diagnosis and yessir this is.. when shit hit the fan. sean became absolutely miserable and threw himself into work, thus throwing casey into the hands of house staff. he was rarely ever home and really... kind of just stopped dad duties and wallowed in his own grief.

casey tried desperately to get his dad’s attention back. he was making stellar grades, perfect grades even. he was in sports year around, and he was fucking good at them esp lacrosse. he ... fuckin learned to cook in hopes of taking after his mom and being able to keep sunday dinners going. he joined student council and even faked an interest in business. lil dude grew the fuck up at such a young age. and it! didn’t! work!

when he ... got into high school ... he got frustrated with his situation and started leaning into his unresolved anger because let me tell you he was ... pissed. about all of it. this is when he fell into the wrong crowd. he made friends who were rowdy and rude and violent, and he found that the most fervent things he felt was when he was doing something wrong. he ,.... dabbled in vandalism but also really started to get in trouble for fighting akdjfh

and it worked. his dad was halfway paying attention, being called into school after school as casey was suspended and occasionally even expelled for.. fighting. .. he was woken up in the middle of the night when casey was escorted home for being too drunk at a party or for getting caught street racing. every time they saw each other, his dad was screaming at him, but at least he was seeing him ya know??

casey really got into a lot of trouble when he got his license and began street racing. the adrenaline from racing kinda.... solved all of his problems?? like it dulled the anger and numbed the pain while also ... bringing him all the excitement and joy ya know. 

when he was sixteen he uhhh got kicked outta the last private school in london that would take him for shitty attendance and fighting. the same week, he completely totaled his car, damn near killing himself in the process, by racing in a new housing development and uhhhh literally taking out an unfinished house (it’s ok all that was standing was like the wooden support beams aight) BUT it was either... spendin time in a juvenile detention center...... or being shipped off to stay with someone else and hopefully start over

so that’s what happened! good old sean o’neill said “nope” and sent his son to live with his brother in a tiny town in a tiny state in america. that’s right bois... when he was seventeen, case moved from london to provincetown. casey kinda saw this as... his dad giving up on him and got... angrier. but it’s better than prison so!

he was kind of... a brat when he got to provincetown. didn’t want to be there. didn’t want to be anywhere really. just broody and mad all the time. participated in sports solely to get some of the angry energy out but didn’t do much else. he’s really only a part of snackpack because his cousin (hiiiii bronny) is.... and he loves her tons so he was obligated to at least be civil to her friends

he ,... got his grades on track, for the most part... and stopped fighting, for the most part. but this dumb bitch can’t stop doing reckless shit. like i’m surprised he still has a license bc the number of speeding tickets is borderline not livable.

he never really felt like he... fit... in provincetown. he still doesn’t really know where he fits in the grand scheme of life. his grades and his dad’s bank account were the only reason he got into a decent college. he went for business, bc that’s all his dad would pay for, and his heart just wasn’t fuckin’ in it at all. he graduated in may but has no fuckin idea what he wants to do. at this rate though, if he keeps fucking around, he’s going to end up being :) a nothing :) just like good old dad expects :)

PERSONALITY.

very dude bro. like you look at him and you’re like ‘idk if i wanna fuck with that’ bc he is large and stupid confident ... sometimes arrogant. definitely one of those cocky smirk lookin, backwards hat wearin, lemme take u out types of assholes idk like he’s not broody ya know. 

he doesn’t really initiate conversation. like he’s not one for small talk, kinda thinks its a lil bit of a waste of time. he’s not unapproachable.. he just values good, interesting conversation

think ... jess mariano from gilmore girls, ronan lynch from trc, and a lil sprinkle of brian o’conner from fast and furious kAJSDAHFA

his moral compass is outta whack ok! like life is not black and white in his mind. everything is grey

very clever boy. consciously makes bad decisions, but he’s clever as fuck. quick witted. he doesn’t look it but... ya boy is smart. just doesn’t fuckin’ apply himself

charming! but like ... into the woods charming, not cinderella charming. charming with an ulterior motive. charming to get what he wants. very rarely charming just for the hell of makin someone feel nice. selfish lil shit

fearless as hell, always down for adventure and a good time

a lot nicer to his close friends than he is to everyone else like akdfhas sorry @ everyone who isn’t in the snack pack ur automatically a lil bit worse in his mind

a massive flaw of his is that he truly doesn’t know how to handle his own emotions,. he’s become a pro at repressing them. even when they’re good . feelings, he has a hard time showing it?? that’s why he... acts out dude. he’s pissed

would die for his lil cuzzo y’all should know this now to prepare urself

fiercely loyal to his people

still luvs to fsu when he has the chance,,... loves a good adrenaline rush

surprisingly good at cheering people up. not great at comforting them! he’s workin’ on that... but he is good turning that frown upside down!

literally just needs someone to kick his ass. 

PLOTS IDEAS.

a best friend... obvi. someone he clicked with as soon as he moved to ptown

frenemies bro... like they rag on each other all the time, they’re always competitive as hell, but in the end... they’ve got each other’s back type of frenemies

i have a plot in mind based on billie eilish’s ‘i love you’ that could be interesting aksdjfh specifically the ‘say you were tyrna make me laugh, and nothing has to change today you didn’t mean to say i love you’ line lol angsty

a mom friend! someone to kinda... keep an eye on him

partners in crime bro the kinda person that just..... when they’re together it’s next level . and borderline dangerous because they just continue to hype each other up and play off of each other

a bit of a hookup .. situation like kajsdf basically the type of shit you see in friends with benefits and no strings attached before they catch feelings. smth like a fling idk

college roommatesr

flirtationships or just generally flirty frienships those are s ofun 

exes and unrequited loves and slowburns y’all know i’m a slut for that shit 

ok that’s all!! this is so shitty lmao aksjfh ok like this and i’ll come to u for plotzzzzzz 

[cometcrystal]

black mirror spoilers scroll if you dont want 2 see

finished black mirror season 5! it was pretty good i think my fav was the ashley too episode. it wasn’t as dark as previous seasons but dude who cares

i like that ashley too felt like an adventure movie about two plucky teens + their new robot friend meeting one teen’s idol mixed w some darker stuff, but not so much dark stuff that it just felt completely miserable. and miley cyrus’s performance as ashley o was ok in the first half but REALLY good in the second half. also people are hating on this episode because its too upbeat but like.....who fucking cares bro please learn to have fun not every episode of black mirror needs to be completely soul-sucking

striking vipers was good but i dont know how to feel about it??? i feel like danny and karl were lying when they said they didn’t feel a spark bc of internalized homophobia/biphobia. like, why would the sex have felt special to karl otherwise? it’s bc its danny. but its just. weird and it was handled weird but life is weird you know.......i need time to fuckin process it but idk if i’m happy about the way they handled the danny/karl relationship but then again some gay relationships irl are messy

smithereens was really tense and nice, it felt like classic black mirror but also the message was kinda boring and something we’ve heard a million times already. but for a drama, it was well-written. i just wanna know WHAT THE FUCKING ENDING IS!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN’T JUST END LIKE THAT YOU DUMB BITCHES boring moral, good acting/story. so it wasn’t really anything groundbreaking like some other black mirror eps, but i dont regret spending my time watching it either

[helheimawaitsyou]

Thank you so much for the great response to my latest Red Dead Redemption 2 Gif. I wanted to say thank you but also sorry that I made you tear up a little according to the tags you used when you reblogged the post :D

I want to share a few of those tags - I’ve read every single one and I’m glad you like the post! To kick this off, here one of the unused gifs I made for the gifset

@ninja-nurse “I thought I was done crying over this game... apparently not... 😭“ Ahhh, I’m sorry, but I’m glad you like the gifs. The scene with “I’m afraid” is really heartbreaking”

@dixierose1998 “Fucking OUCH“ I have to admit, even for me it was hard to edit this thing because of the context. It’s just so saaad. He doesn’t deserve this 😭

@unusual-raccoon “Just restarted and I’m so scared because I know what’s going to happen.” I know right? idk if my heart can handle a second playthrough 🙄

@sketchyeh #my fucking heart

@seraidan  #gosh i cried so much

@itspiperchapman  #i just finished chapter 6 yesterday #i haven't cried so much over a video game character since mass effect 3

@secondlastk  #ah :(

@nellyhoran  #bitch im fucken.... CRINE !!!! Sorry 😬 😬

@hawkke  #i love suffering The feels *sigh*

@mimicmorgan  #this is beautiful Thank you so much!!!

@ingeniousahole  #THIS FUCKING GAME DUDEEE#!!!!!

@vonspe #Ah yes #The heartbreak #Thank u op #No but this is a rly nice edit super sleek I’m sorry :D but also glad you like the gifs!!

@bogatyris  #hey i make myself cry twice 🙃

@somniar  #im crying irl Nooooo😢

@xovalkyrie #😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

@canisluneslunes #Big fucking mood

@avaruusfaija #woooow ;__;

@arthurmoorgan #every time i see a gif of the deer i tear tf up #my poor baby

@antonymmouse  #lie down#try not to cry#cry a lot It’s so true :(

@arctolatries  #noooooooooo im not ready for this We’ll never be ready for this I guess

@imissmypants  #i am screaming

@saracenrunaway  #beautiful Thank you! <3

@attentiondefictwitch #ouch..

@sagersdangers  #cowboy cry circle rn

@c0wbyz  #<3 Thank you!

@arthurmorganismyhero  #😭😭😭 #my baby

@annie-knowby #im cryin in the saloon

@tinybaphomet #my heart hurts Mine too :(

@fjordlavorre  #i feel. so much abt this game

@prettyboyarthur  #sobbing#just break my heart again Sorry 😬

@kawaiibooker  #holy shit i'm 😭😭😭😭

@fixusi  #don’t you fucking dare remind me of these words #my soul and my heart hurt Ahhhh nooooo sorry 😬

@furyswipe  #dont do this Too late :(

@hoovesmadeofsteel  #ok who cryin rn

@aroacedrienne  #BRO i deadass cried my eyes during the ''i'm afraid scene'' like wow.....#r* came for my life with this game 😭😭

@amovingtarget  #me: finds out a game is heartbreaking #also me: wow i can't wait to play this game i gotta get it asap #i love to suffer

@beechershoe  #what the fuck pleas i dont need this right before work

@phoeniyx  #wow way to fuckin break my heart.

@deadfatheremporium  #k i can cry at work it’s fine

@tragedy-on-broadway  #rude Haha :DD

@friend-proxy  #wow

@thedaybreakers  #don't ruin me like this I’m so sorry

@braithwaites  #oof... ow... ouch The feels

@chuckhansen  #will i ever know peace again????

@hellhound-s  #lovely Thank you!!

@flawinthemachine  #fml This is so true!

@aatticsaltt  #ARTHUURRRR #my baby #honey #sugar #sweetie pie #love of my life #its ok It’s not me who is crying. 😢 Beautiful words!

@xdefinitelymaybex  #my heart 😢

@radiojamming  #OWOWOWOWOW

@gayass-arthur  #STOP I have more gifs, sorry :D

@spldercop  #hey op thanks for making me cry #appreciate it Sorry aaaaaa

@mmechromancer  #welp there goes my heart

@yovalo #yes hello i'm still miserable

@crashofworlds  #sobbing

@athurmorgan  #Do Not “In the end. i did.” - Arthur Morgan

@red-dead-and-cry  #tears #are literally pouring out of my face #he didn't deserve that Your url is so true!!

Thank you so much for your response. I did this gifset for you!

Thank you!

[minijenn]

And while I’m at it going off on all sorts of random tangents tonight, fuckin... everything all about damn remakes and reboots nowadays, right? Well why we still haven’t seen any fuckin remakes of those Rankin Bass Christmas specials? (I know ya’ll tired as fuck of me talkin bout them but I can’t help it those specials were the definition of my childhood when it came to Christmas). Like come the fuck on, remake Rudolph, Frosty (or even fuckin stupid ass Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July idk maybe make it not suck this time), Santa Claus is Comin to Town, uh... the one with the Miser Bros in it, whatever, do em up in some modern day smooth as fuck claymation or even Lego Movie style CG idk it’d be kinda cool to see them done better than there were back in the day but again just talkin on a wild random tangent

[justtwilightshitposts-blog]

So I got high as fuck and watched Twilight for the first time in 6 years and made a list of the thoughts running through my head. Anyways it’s under the cut, enjoy lol

Dramatic entry....

I don’t understand what she’s saying

Oh my god look at her stupid fucking cactus it’s so small and dumb

Why does she sound so miserable

Charlie her hair?? Really??

How is their house so big with one fucking bathroom

Charlie really had someone else decorate her room omg

Why is he such a good fucking dad. I want to cry

“Still dancin”..... aight, billy 

Jacob looks so fucking angsty

She’s so excited about this huge ugly piece of shit truck how is she straight

Did it ever get explained in the series where the fuck Jacob goes to school

“Nice ride” ahah SOOOO FUNNY

I don’t remember his name but why is he such a try hard

*Ball comes at Bella* bella: fUCK

Jessica: stay the FUCK away from my man

Jessica you weird

Mike stop

Who tf is that dude omg he just took his fucking chair

“FEATURES DEAD, ANGELA”

Oh my god Jess when she says eating disorders aakkskakdn

This background music does not fit the characters

Yeah they live together omg

How convenient. A family full of people who fuck each other except ONE

HIS FUCKING STARE

Why they got a fan in the classroom

No introduction to the new kid? Unrealistic. Blocked.

Stop staring at each other what the shit bruh

Just jump tf out the classroom damn

Edward trying to slam the door omggg

How she gonna know you Santa when you dressed normal, tf

Just grab the ketchup

Jesus Christ just talk to each other

Goodbye cell phone then

Day one and you’re doing homework ok

Why is Edward so fucking cringey

He couldn’t handle it so he just stayed home fucking pussy

They just straight up threw a fucking rock at her

Things were getting strange AFTER he stops going to school hmmmmm?

Seriously their house is good sized

This bitch just fucking ate shit what a clumsy gay

“You’re not in Phoenix anymore”

“I need your playlist”

Why is EVERYONE hitting on Bella. She doesn’t even look straight

“Hello” bruuhhhh

His voice, TF

What is the golden onion

Why does he talk like... that

Bonding over science. Haha. Get it. Bonding

“How’s the weather”

Cold n wet. Cool

He laughin. Lmao

Aw his smile

I feel so awkward watching this conversation

Why doesn’t this bitch just sit tf still Jesus Christ

“Wait hOLD UP why didn’t you go with your mom and Phil just curious haha I’m just trying to analyze you no biggie”

The fluorescents. Walks away. ????

How tf did this mf even manage to almost crash like what. How did it even happen

He out this mf

Everyone just like. Sat there for so long not doing anything??? Then BAM OMG BELLA ALSKAJNCKDO”

Carlisle is so fucking white Jesus

Did she never notice his eyes are the same color as Edwards

Fuckin snitch omg Carlisle is not happy

“Hey ex wife our daughter almost died lol call me back”

They are really just arguing in the middle of the hospital tf?

I was standing right next to you....

why does he look like that

Rude ass tf?

Edgy moon

Tf she dreaming about

Wait so like he didn’t even start out with anything low key he just straight up fucking watched her sleep after knowing her a week

God why does he look like that. All the time

Poor mike oh my god

She’s lived here a week how does she already have plans conveniently the night of prom. Get a better excuse Bella

Recycled tea

Why is he so fucking creepy “what’s in Jacksonville” mf HOW you know

Rude ass again what the shit

Why would Bella care if you go to prom with mike, Jessica

“We shouldn’t be friends” no one said you were???

“Our bus is full” 💀

Call your fucking mother you asshole

Charlie don’t talk about Phil

She just walks tf out lmaoooo

How did anyone NEVER say anything about them NEVER eating lunch

La PUSH

He just bounced a fuckin apple

Stop being so cryptic what the fuck

“Let’s say for arguments sake that I’m not smart” bitch me too the fuck

“What if I’m... the villain” shut up you fucking emo oh my god

Come to the beach lol

This is all so awkward

Why did they like hardly ever show Angela

“You’re a strong independent woman” how do people think she’s straight

“The Cullen’s don’t come here” so fucking dramatic

“Yeah yeah whatever enough of you, what about the CULLENS”

Wait. How long have the Cullen’s been around? How long ago was the treaty made???

This music is so fucking dramatic

Oh no it’s Santa....

These bitches gay as fuck too James looks so fucking gay

How is it the entire time she’s trying to figure out the Cullen’s not ONCE does she question the quilietes being descended from FUCKING WOLVES

All these prom dresses boring as fuck

Like what the fuck even is that material

Jess is fucking... phat

“Sorry I don’t do prom dresses I just like really wanna go to this bookstore”

I don’t even want to know what would have happened if Edward didn’t come get her from these creeps...

She legit is about to get gang raped and like. No one ever said anything about this guys what the fuck

Why does Edward look like a fucking crack addict

“Sorry I just REALLY wanna murder these guys”

You should put YOUR seat belt on

“Yeah were gonna do everything that consists of a date but it’s not a date ok?”

No way that tiny bitch is gonna eat that whole ass plate

I’m gonna make sure YOU eat but I won’t alright?

Fucking math nerd

How DID he know she was there???

“I feel very protective of you even though I’ve known you for like less than a month”

He can read minds it’s no biggie

“Cat” bitch me too!!!

I can’t read YOUR mind tho sorry

Wait so why are certain vampires given gifts?

I don’t wanna stay away from you anymore lol

Ooooo our dads are here

“Animal attack” *GLARE*

“Idk what to say I’m so sorry”

Charlie STOP MY HEART IS FUCKING BREAKING

Animals are attacking and you give her pepper spray?

Why tf did they roll his whole ass body out in plain view why the hell was he not in a body bag!!!!

“Oh OKAY everything is starting to come together”

What is this dramatic dream where he’s all emo drinking her blood what the fuck is happening

“Follow me into the woods just trust me”

I don’t find it believable that he speaks like he’s from a different time. His dialect would change with time. Imagine him in 2018 fuckin yeet this and dab that lmaoooo

Why when he runs his legs move and nothing else

How fast are they even going

Diamonds are a girls best friend. And vampires.

“I’m a killer” on cool aha I’m just chillin alone in the woods with u haha no biggie

Why are you being so dramatic Edward

He just yeeted that fucking rock lol

“I’ve never wanted to kill anyone until you”

You’re my drug....

his voice is cracking me tf up

“I’m not afraid of you I’m afraid of losing you” you fucking emo

I want to die

I zoned out an all I heard was “sick masochistic lion” .... alright

Let’s just lay in the grass in the middle of the fucking woods it’ll be cute!!!

Do they just. Stare at each other and not talk...

Why do they use sound effects for his skin lmao

“My crush is a vampire lol ❤️”

What’s Monte Carlo

Everyone is staring lmaoooo

The siblings are not happy lmao

Why would you turn someone into a vampire like there is no logical reason to be like “you’re dying so I’m gonna make you live FOREVER”

They’re just chillin in the rain lmao

Literally tho like being a vampire would be pointless and fucking torture Jesus Christ why would you force that on a dying person

“Wanna meet the fam lol jk u have no choice”

The fucking stare down between Edward and Jacobs dad I’m fucking deceased

“Just keepin it real, son” broooo

Does anyone remember at one point in this series Edward and Jacob just fucking switched Bella off like what the shit was that was I just hallucinating

They cooked for her :(

How long has it been since they cooked

Esme is my soul mate

We NEVER use the kitchen

Jesus CHRIST Rosalie chill the FUCK out

Calm down you FUCKING drama queen

Please don’t kill me lol

Alice you Sapphic ass coming in on a fuckin tree branch

“Bella and I are gonna become great friends” does... does she KNOW. You know bc she can see the future

Alice is so cheery oh god

I too would be dramatic enough to frame all of my several graduation caps

I don’t... sleep

Like he doesn’t even need a chair like their legs never get tired. If they wanted to they could just stand every second of every day

Edward it is the 21st century catch up on the tunes, man

The face she made when he twirled her lmaooo

“I’ll MAKE you dance” .... alright

Why did they like. Move midair

This tree jumping shit just does not look scientifically accurate

“This kind of stuff just doesn’t exist” ... the woods?

Let’s sit in a fucking tree and just talk forever

I wonder who wrote the song Edward wrote. It’s actually... good???

Why is the footprint on top of this fucking mound of dirt lol

Hey hey you You I don’t like your boyfriend

I would kill for Charlie

No one like ACTUALLY questions why a HUMAN foot print is found in the murder scene

“Go SOCIALIZE”

He just fucking comes out of nowhere fuck

How much time does this movie take the course over “only the last couple months” ????

“There’s always something I wanted to try” *kisses bella* you gonna tell me you’re 100+ years old and a virgin???????

This kissing scene must have been so awkward

He just fucking. Zooms back into the wall

Does Charlie not hear any of this???

Edward. She needs to sleep bro

I’m sorry but if my partner never slept I would never sleep with them like don’t fucking watch me sleep the shit???

He just fucking loves his gun

What is he doing over his head ??

We’re just gonna play a family game of baseball lol

Charlie cares so much :(

Charlie doesn’t even question that they’re going to play baseball in a thunderstorm

The baseball scene is in my top iconic scenes in cinematic history

Why do they keep the field so small if they hit the ball so far ???

Emmet my fuckboy baby

When emmet and Edward collide. Iconic.

These gay ass Mfers and their dramatic entrances

Why is putting her hair up going to help. It’s not her hair they smell it’s her blood? Right??

Vampires just go around claiming territory??

All around America??

James knows

Why do they hiss....

The fucking Cullen clan all just bend their knees and hiss like what the shit

“I can buckle MYSELF Edward”

This all went 0-100 real quick

Edward step up your acting game. Monotone ass mf

Charlie is so fucking confused

What even is she grabbing

Ok but Charlie’s so supportive of her and like all he cares about is her being safe oh my god

And he never knows that she didn’t mean any of what she said :((((((

That would fucking kill me oh my god poor Charlie

When they land on her truck... where are they coming FROM...

“Her kind” ... gingers?

Rosalie has a point...

Laurent was just a third wheel

Why do they drive so fast

How the hell was Bella even going to explain this to her mom??? What was her plan.

James.... Jesus your fucking face...

How did he get into the high school

You fucking dumbass you just gonna. Fight a fucking vampire? What is her plan? Fight him? Show up and take her mom and get out???

Also how did she even sneak past Alice and jasper

Wait how did he get this video

You dumb as shit bitch!!!

You can’t fight a vampire the fuck!!!

Why is the part where James shoved Edward against the mirror so sexually tense

This whole fucking ballet studio scene is just too dramatic

Why is she convulsing tho. Is that how it is when you turn into a vampire??? You fucking have a seizure???

Alice fucking SNAPPED

This whole series could have ended right here if they just let her fucking change into a vampire right then and there

Shut the fuck up and suck, Edward

Why her face look like.... that

Carlisle just PUSH HIM

Why are the tubes like ON her eyeballs

Edward sleeping... ha

The whole falling down the stairs bullshit story is so fucking ridiculous lmaoooo

“You’re texting” this movie is so old

Which leg is broken???

I almost killed you lol sorry. Also get the fuck out of Forks

Bella: *insert lady from lipstick in valentino bag vine*

Ok so her right leg is in the cast but in the hospital she was chillin in the bed with her right leg bent?

Jacob where did you come from lmao

“My dad paid me to come talk to you”

“Also you need to break up with your boyfriend”

The instant tension between Edward and Jacob and Bella is so fucking oblivious

“The wolves descend” REALLY EDWARD

Was their senior prom ever mentioned in the series???

She’s so fucking short omg

This music: A++

No seriously what is with everyone’s dresses being so ugly

“I want you always” bitch you just met like 2 months ago???

Bella is so desperate for the dick that she wants to become a fucking vampire

She actually thought he was gonna bite her at prom lmao????

They kiss so awkwardly

Victoria looks so jealous

And hot

Where is she going

Oh it’s over ok cool gn