#idk man it's late i should be asleep but Fuck i cannot stop thinking about how that got so out of hand

[cloudcountry]

i love how i come back to twst post about how much i hate idia for a few days and then leave again it's such a cycle

[janeofcakes]

Keep Your Friends Close..: Chapter 9

Oh my god, friends, am I really using my powers for good? Am I?? I don’t even know what to say, so I’ll change the subject. Once again, I can’t believe a whole week has gone by. I can barely keep track of the days and now my schedule has changed. Idk what next week is going to be like. Here’s hoping I don’t miss any zoom meetings, am I right? Ha! I truly hope you are all well and that this chapter brings blissful distraction. I love you all. I really do.

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How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this? You’re all I want. You’re all I need. You’re everything.                  --Lighthouse, Everything

Sherlock opens his eyes slowly and shakes his head. The lights in the study are still on and the laptop screen glows with the website he was viewing before he fell asleep. He leans down to pick up the mouse from where he knocked it to the floor and puts his palm right into the small collection of drool that had formed on the desk. He looks at it with a disgusted grimace and quickly drops the mouse on the desk to reach for a tissue. 

He hears it again as he wipes his hand. A beeping chime. He blinks a few times. It takes his sleep addled brain a moment to process it as his phone and clearly what woke him. Sherlock debates on whether to answer it or ignore it in favor of continuing his research. Or simply collapse into his bed. With a sigh, Sherlock rises and goes to one of the cushioned chairs next to the fireplace in search of the noisy device. He does not know why he has two chairs. He has never invited anyone into this room, not even Molly. The leather chair in a rich, deep burgundy is the one he always sits in. It is wide and very comfortable and suits him perfectly. The dark green velvety one is a mystery. He still cannot remember why he bought it or what he was thinking at the time. It just seemed like a good match to his own chair at the time, like the two were meant to be together and he could not separate them.

Before he begins his search of the chair, the chime of the phone draws his eyes to the small table at the right of the chair. He knows who it is, of course. He gave the man his own ringtone, after all. He considers hitting ignore and going to his room. He even turns in that direction, but stops when he sees a notification of five missed calls from the same number. Sighing again, Sherlock picks up the phone and answers.

“John?”

“Hi. Good morning?” John’s voice is apprehensive. 

“What do you want?” Sherlock is terse and wants to get to the point quickly.

“Right. Well, I...I’d like to talk to you.”

“Fine. Talk.”

“I thought face to face would be better.”

“Why? It’s…” Sherlock asks testily as he glances at a clock, “2:15 in the morning, John. Jesus Christ.”

“I know. I’m sorry, but it’s very important.”

Sherlock rolls his eyes closed and pinches the bridge of his nose between two fingers.

“Fine. Come over.”

Sherlock’s eyes pop open wide when the sound of gentle knocking reaches his ears. He walks to the door to the room and peers down the hall to the condo’s front door. He glances suspiciously in the opposite direction, toward his bedroom, and then back to the front door. He cannot see it from this position and steps out further into the hall.

“John, where are you?”

“Uh, funny thing, that,” John clears his throat and then says in a very serious voice. “I’m at your door.”

Sherlock instantly ends the call and drops his phone on a narrow table in the hall. Putting his hands on his hips, he stares down at it and puffs out a short, incredulous breath. He turns his head to look down the hall in disbelief. John is back. To talk to him. At 2-fucking-17 in the morning. Sherlock should be angry, he should be furious, but he isn’t. When John did not go to practice that afternoon, he was certain he would not see him again in any situation other than meetings. He thought that was the end of it when he stormed out and left John alone in his apartment. But here he is.

With a deep inhalation and his head held high, Sherlock strides down the hall and jerks the door open. John stares back at him in shock, jerking his head back a fraction in surprise. His phone is still in his left hand as though debating whether or not to call Sherlock back and try again. Sherlock scans his body and face, deducing everything in seconds. He narrows his eyes and gives John a severe look.

“You remained in your office this afternoon and then worked late into the evening. You have not been to your apartment, but...” Sherlock speaks in an accusing tone and glares at the doctor. Then his expression changes slightly, his brows beginning to arch upward. “Your attacker returned.”

He pauses when John gasps. There was no confrontation, but John is still visibly shaken and has certainly experienced some sort of trauma. Sherlock cocks a brow and shifts his weight for a better look. He can see the doctor is not injured this time, but feels he should make the inquiry regardless.

“John, are you all right?”

“I’m sorry,” the words seem to spill from his lips unbidden and he continues to stare at Sherlock. His surprise, however, quickly morphs into a sort of panic-stricken sincerity. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of those things. None of it is true. You’re the best friend I’ve ever… I’m sorry.”

Now it is Sherlock’s turn to gape. The best friend he has ever had? That is what he was going to say. Sherlock presses his lips into a thin line and almost shakes his head. Someone as friendly and likeable as John has many friends. He gets along with everyone so easily. How could Sherlock be his best?

He tables the matter, tucking it away in his mind palace for later thought. He steps to the side and gestures John inside. There is a flash of astonishment in his eyes, but John still steps in silently. The two enter the living room together. John looks far calmer than he did at the door when Sherlock turns to face him again.

“Are you injured?” Sherlock knows the answer, but sticks with decorum.

“No,” John answers simply. He seems entranced, as if in shock. His eyes have not left Sherlock since they entered the room. Sherlock moves to sit on the long, plush couch and catches John’s hand with his own, pulling him down by his side.

“Tell me what happened,” he demands. “Leave nothing out.”

John looks up from their still joined hands with a look of wonder on his face. Sherlock glances down at them and releases John’s hand, pulling his own away. Seemingly dazed, John looks from Sherlock’s hand to his own for a moment. When he finally meets the coach’s eyes, John seems more himself and the clouds in his eyes have lifted. He presses his lips together and crinkles his brow.

“There’s not much to tell,” he says. “I was at my desk. Decided to call it a night. The bastard came in when I was hunched over to pick up a pen.”

Sherlock’s brows lower minutely, his eyes narrowing very slightly and sharpening as he watches John. A whole list of scenarios and theories start to play out in his mind. Many of them couple with individual details of John’s apartment from the night before. Details the attacker had not meant to leave, that no one was meant to see. But Sherlock did. 

“I ducked under my desk and held my breath until he left,” John blows out a long breath the way he must have done when his attacker left the office. Sherlock can see the tension in his body. “You were right.”

“What?” Sherlock’s deductions come to a screaming halt and he blinks for effect. “Sorry. I’m what?”

“Very funny,” John tips toward him for a split second with a grin on his face. He gives the coach a friendly shove and then leans back again. “Rub it in, why don’t you?”

“I will. Thank you,” Sherlock teases, his heart warmed at the sight of that spectacular smile. His eyes linger on John’s lips a little too long, but John does not seem to notice or care in the slightest. Sherlock quickly meets John’s eyes again and flashes a winning mile. “You’ll excuse me for a moment while I grab a pen and paper. I need to record the time and date.”

“All right, all right. Oi!” John grabs his hand when he begins to rise and pulls him back down. He lands a bit closer to John than he was, their thighs pressed together now and Sherlock’s stomach flips. His mind does too, stuttering for a moment as he looks at John.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks Sherlock cheekily.

Grinning like a fool now, Sherlock suddenly wants to pull the doctor into his lap and kiss him.

Kiss him?

God, he is so fucked.

Sherlock shrugs and doesn’t answer John at first, not trusting his own voice. But he cannot remain silent for long, especially when it means the joke will end and John’s bright, friendly eyes will fill with concern. Not that they would be any less beautiful, of course.

God damn, so fucked.

“Nowhere, apparently,” he answers coyly before he can catch himself. And what the fuck was that? He makes his voice more normal, pitches it a fraction higher and continues. “So what is it that I’m right about?”

“I can’t go back to my flat,” John sighs, his shoulders drooping. “Not until this guy is caught or gets bored with me.”

Sherlock’s brows raise a bit and he opens his mouth to speak, but does not get any words out.

“First place he went when he left the stadium,” John continues. “He spoke with someone on his mobile. He said he would check the exam rooms and then go back to my flat.”

Sherlock watches as John runs his hands through his hair. He shifts on the couch just enough that their thighs are no longer touching. Sherlock’s leg feels cold from the lack of contact. He tries not to let his mind file away the sensation of John’s warmth against his leg, not to imagine what it would feel like had it been skin on skin, but his efforts are in vain. At the very least, he pushes it all into a closet so he can think.

“I’ll get a hotel,” John sighs. “I just wanted to tell someone. Talk it out, you know?” 

He pauses, the war in his mind of whether or not to continue plain on his face. Sherlock wants to answer the unasked question. No, it won’t be too much. I want to know. I want to know. For a moment, Sherlock believes John will keep it to himself and then his forehead crinkles as he looks at Sherlock with uncertain eyes. 

“It scared the shit out of me,” he mutters quietly. “If I hadn’t dropped that pen, he would’ve walked right in and dropped me.”

“John,” his voice is so light, he can scarcely hear it himself. He moves a hand deftly to rest atop John’s. The room is silent. Neither man says a word. Even their breaths have the good sense not to be heard. And they look at one another. Watch one another. A whole conversation transpires between their eyes.

I can’t lose this. 

You didn’t. It’s all right.

I can’t lose you.

You won’t.

And then the spell is broken. It is gone as quickly as it came. Sherlock’s hand is on the couch instead of John’s hand and Sherlock almost doubts it happened at all. When he looks at John, the doctor has a thoughtful look on his face, as though weighing all the pros and cons of the plan he has conjured.

“You will not get a hotel,” Sherlock announces firmly. “You will stay here.”

“What? No, I can’t stay here. I’ll put you in danger.”

“If they wanted to hurt me, they would have tried by now.”

“That’s not… You may not be a target, but you could get in the crossfire.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that!”

“John,” Sherlock grabs onto his biceps and looks him straight in the eye, “I won’t believe you’re safe unless you’re here with me. If you stay in a hotel, I will go with you.”

“You can’t do that. It’s ridiculous!”

The coach fixes him with a determined glare and says nothing.

“Sherlock, you’ll get yourself killed,” John reprimands. 

For a moment, Sherlock is afraid he has said too much, pushed too hard. ‘A bit not good’, as John would say and he has already learned that the doctor does not like being told what to do. But then the corner of John’s mouth curls into a lopsided smile.

“Or locked up,” John finishes.

A grin blooms on Sherlock’s face and John quickly follows suit. He takes his hands from John’s arms, rests them on his own thighs, and pushes himself to standing. John does the same and they find themselves face to face, chest to chest. John inhales deeply as Sherlock exhales from his open mouth in tandem. God, John is beautiful. His scent is intoxicating, all vanilla and cinnamon and tea. Sherlock resists the urge to lean forward and breathe it in, but only just. Instead, he clears his throat and tries to sound nonchalant.

“I’ll find you something to sleep in. Would you like clean sheets?” he asks politely, shuffling backwards a step.

“No, no, the ones from last night are fine,” John waves a hand easily, but with their proximity, it runs right into Sherlock’s chest. He stares at it for a moment where it rests, palm down, on the taller man’s pectoral, his pinky a hair’s breadth from one nipple. 

Sherlock’s body tenses at first, but soon relaxes into the touch. John looks up at him, eyes searching and Sherlock wishes he could deduce him in these situations. He wants to know his every thought and feeling, but John becomes so hard to read when Sherlock wants to most. He is not sure if John is incredibly adept at hiding his emotions when he wants to or if Sherlock’s own mind simply gives up and drowns in all that is John. Perhaps the fact that he can say ‘these situations’ tells it all. But it doesn’t.

“Um,” John lifts his hand and the skin beneath Sherlock’s clothes feels immediately chilled at the loss of John’s warmth. John’s brows raise in uncertainty and his forehead wrinkles as he struggles for words. As adorable as it is, Sherlock bails him out.

“I’ll get those pajamas,” he nearly whispers and steps away.

“Right. I’ll just head for the bedroom then.”

“Please do,” Sherlock calls from down the hall. He cringes at his own words and the myriad of ways they could be interpreted. Resolving to exercise more caution, Sherlock rifles through his pajama drawer until he holds dark blue satin in his hands. The fabric is soft against his skin and he imagines the shiver John will feel when he puts it on. Oh, yes, he would very much like to see John in these. Which is why he should put them right back in the drawer and keep looking.

Sherlock shoves the pajamas under another pair and rolls his eyes. God, he’s such an idiot. Was his experience with Victor not enough? If Molly had not convinced him to leave California and coach derby, Sherlock honestly doesn’t know what would have become of him. Probably let Victor persuade him to come back and live out his life as a trophy, a sex object. Victor was good at making people accept blame and do what he wanted. It was not always that way, of course. He was sweet in college, but the better he became at practicing law, the more demanding he became and Sherlock found he could no longer live up to the expectations. Success can change a person and the resulting betrayal was what hurt most of all. 

Sherlock blinks his eyes and shakes his head. Jesus, he is getting maudlin. He grabs a pair of pajamas and heads for the spare bedroom. He must put a stop to this before it gets any worse. He cannot be in love with John Watson. Or anyone else, for that matter. He cannot open himself up to the kind of pain again.

Distracted by his thoughts, Sherlock pushes open the bedroom door John left ajar without knocking and is three steps in before he stops in his tracks, mouth hanging open. John is standing on his tiptoes on a chair, reaching up to unscrew the light bulb from the ceiling fixture. He is illuminated by only the two bedside lamps and the white t-shirt he has on, sweater having been discarded, glows golden in the light. His hair is like a halo shining on his crown. A thin strip of stomach shows from where that golden tee rides up with his stretch. Sherlock’s breath catches. He snaps his mouth closed just in time for John to finish with the bulb and look down at him.

“Oh, hey,” he jumps to the floor. “This blew when I flipped the switch. Do you have any extras?”

“Yes, of course. In the supply closet,” Sherlock takes the grey one from his hand and holds out the pajamas. “I’ll go get one.”

“Ta,” John replies, taking the clothing. “Christ, Sherlock, these are the nicest pajamas I’ll have worn in the whole of my life! Are you sure you don’t want to give me another pair?”

“What?” he looks at John’s pajama clad hand and almost curses aloud when he sees that same dark blue pair he thought he had shoved back in the drawer. “No, no, it’s fine. As long as you don’t mind them pooling around your ankles.”

Sherlock closes his eyes and blows a long breath out of his nose. He could not have said anything more stupid if he tried. He angles his chin down and tilts his head ever so slightly with a grimace on his face. He wants to sink into a hole and disappear. He never wants to open his eyes again, at least not until John has left. John won’t, of course, Sherlock is in his room, much like when he was in his office. Oh, god. Sherlock’s eyes snap open in panic. They are going to live together until John’s attacker is caught and who knows how long that will be.

Quickly schooling his face, Sherlock looks at John with an uneasy gaze. John, on the other hand, seems to be perfectly at ease and wears a little grin on his face. He looks both like he knows something no one else does, and like Sherlock has done something incredibly funny and not at all offensive.

“I’m sorry,” he straightens his spine and continues in a most dignified manner. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

“I know what you meant, you git,” John snorts. He pats Sherlock’s shoulder and smiles kindly. “Don’t worry about it.”

The coach nods once and tries to loosen his tense shoulders, especially the one John had touched. If it still tingles, Sherlock ignores it, as well as the flip of his damn stomach.

“Well then, I’ll just get changed then and call it a day,” John tells him. “You’re sure you’re okay with this?”

“Yes. Yes, I am definitely fine. Just fine,” he quirks a smile. “It’ll be nice to have some company.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” John chuckles. “Working and now living together. You’ll get tired of me.”

“I’ll never get tired of you,” Sherlock says honestly.

John does not answer. He simply stares at Sherlock with gentle eyes, unabashed fondness showing in them. He tilts his head and wets his lips. Sherlock wonders what they feel like, what they taste like. Stop it. Stop it!

“I just…” Sherlock clears his throat. “I’ll let you get to bed.”

“All right,” John replies softly. “Good night, Sherlock.”

“Good night, John.”

Sherlock turns to leave and has nearly closed the door when a thought springs to mind. He spins on his heel and shoves the door open again. John stares in surprise, taking a step back.

“I spoke to Molly,” Sherlock blurts.

“What?”

“I left the stadium early last night to visit and she remembered something.”

“Right!” John tosses the pajamas aside and steps up to Sherlock again. “The note! I forgot all about it. She left a note for me, but there weren’t any details. It said she told you though. I was going to come here straight away, but…well... I went home instead.”

Sherlock ignores thoughts of shots fired and John sliding down the fire escape. He resolutely keeps his mind on what Molly told him, so he does not imagine John’s body lying cold and motionless in his apartment or in the alley.

“Molly skidded into the pack and hit hard. All four of them went down,” he says, setting the stage once again.

“I remember,” John nods.

“Do you remember StartUp putting her hand on the back of Molly’s neck?”

“Well, sure. I figured she was trying to jam her head into that other blocker’s elbow,” John replies thoughtfully. “That Moriarty has rules all his own.”

“He does, indeed,” Sherlock’s lip curls into a snarl. He leans in conspiratorially and continues. “Molly remembers feeling a sharp pain in the back of her neck just before they all fell. She didn’t take notice in the scuffle and was distracted by the nosebleed after. Even when she did think of it a couple days ago, she ignored it. Just part of falling in a mass of other people, but it occurred to her again earlier today and when it did, she just couldn’t shake the idea that there was something wrong about it.”

“The puncture!” John’s eyes are wide and excited, like working out a mystery is his calling. “It was StartUp. But how could she hide a needle in her wrist guard?”

“Moriarty would find a way,” Sherlock’s voice is grim. “The man is ruthless and very smart.”

“You think he knew?”

“I think he planned it.”

“Sherlock,” John says in disbelief, shaking his head, “I know you thought one of the Demons was responsible from the beginning…”

“Moriarty from the beginning.”

“And now it looks like you were right…”

“I am right.”

“But that doesn’t mean Moriarty is involved.”

“Oh, please,” Sherlock scoffs. “He knows every dirty move his team plays. He conceived of most of them.”

“But we have no real proof of that, Sherlock.”

“Then we’ll get some,” he draws up to his full height, his shoulders back. “I’m going to make sure Jim Moriarty rots in prison for this.”

“And I’ll do everything I can to help,” John vows. Sherlock meets John’s eyes. He knows John is not convinced Moriarty is responsible, but would still pledge to help Sherlock regardless of the culprit.

“Thank you,” Sherlock says and means it. He cannot explain why, but he would trust John with his life and that sentiment prompts him to confess more of his suspicions, in spite of what he knows John will say. “I believe he may also be responsible for Billy’s poisoning and the attacks on you.”

“Sherlock, no. No,” he shakes his head. “He can’t be connected to all of them. And if he had been the man after me, I’d have recognized his voice. It’s too distinctive not to. Even whispering the way he was, I would be able to tell.”

“He wouldn’t do the dirty work himself,” Sherlock scoffs again. “He likely out-sourced it.”

“A contracted killer? Sherlock,” John says it in the same tone of voice Mrs. Hudson uses when lightly scolding him. ‘Oh, Sherlock.’ He is about to begin a diatribe on the evil deeds of Jim Moriarty, but John derails his thoughts. 

“I don’t know him well, but I would think he’d not want to let in any more people than he has to, especially in a murder scheme. He’s very visible in this city and around the country, if you’re in the right circles. A random hitman or idiot with a gun may decide to spill the beans or extort him later, yeah?”

Sherlock holds the doctor in his gaze, a corner of his mouth turning up. John Watson is a goddamn genius. None of what he said is something Sherlock had not already considered, but for John to reason through it all right before his eyes - to see his brilliant mind work - to Sherlock, it is absolutely breathtaking. God, how he loves him.

Shit.

“Sherlock?” John asks, sounding a little concerned. 

Sherlock realizes it has been much too long since he had last spoken. Not only has he been staring blankly, lost in thought, but John asked him a question.

“I lov…” he stops himself abruptly, mind catching up with his mouth, and his stomach roils. 

Fuck! 

What the fuck is he thinking? Sherlock had been a breath away from saying it out loud, for fuck’s sake! How is that an appropriate answer to any question John could have asked him? Have all of his mental faculties so abandoned him that he would say the absolute stupidest thing he could in this moment? Because that wouldn’t end their association immediately. And all due to goddamn sentiment.

Feelings.

Feelings he cannot push away, dismiss or bury no matter how hard he tries. No room or door in his mind palace will hold them. John Watson is extraordinary and his mind will not let him forget it, even for a moment. Christ, it’s like a bad romance novel. Right down to Sherlock’s complete uncertainty about John. He could be straight or bi or asexual for all he knows - Sherlock really has no idea and, as the clueless heroine, why would he?

He has not seen John flirt with anyone or heard any rumors. Sometimes he thinks John is flirting with him, but the doctor becomes so confusing in those moments and is nearly impossible to deduce. Sherlock hates it. Technically, he should not be deducing John anyway, honoring his pledge to everyone on staff. But John is so intriguing and the fact that he cannot deduce him is actually captivating, even if it is infuriating.

“Sherlock?” John asks again. Sherlock’s eyes come back into focus to see him wearing a grin and chuckling. “By god, I think I’ve broken you.”

“Funny,” he smirks, hoping to hide his mistake. “I was merely considering your words.”

“Oh, come on. Don’t pretend you hadn’t already thought of that. I know you better than that,” he shoves Sherlock’s shoulder. Sherlock knows he should joke back, but he doesn’t. Instead, he looks back thoughtfully and whispers softly.

“You do. You know me better than anyone has.”

John’s smile fades and his eyes soften, but he says not a word. The air around them becomes heavy and yet, also crackles with emotion, attraction, expectation. John shuffles forward, putting them closer than colleagues should be once again. His hand brushes Sherlock’s and he just controls the shiver it spurs. Sherlock shifts his gaze down to John’s chest and tries not to think about how much he wants to pull him to his own body and crash their lips together. God, it would be bliss. Sherlock feels intoxicated and unsteady, lost in all he wants and cannot have. 

He shifts his hand away from John’s and raises his eyes to a deep blue gaze that is focused solely on him. 

“Good night, John.”

Disappointment flashes in John’s eyes, but is quickly replaced with disingenuous mirth. A small smile he clearly does not feel follows.

“Good night, Sherlock.”

----

Now you see! You see why I was so befuddled in my opening words! I had just finished editing this chapter and I just said “Uhh” in an exhale, deflated. As my good friend, Superwholocklmt would say, Jesus, Jane, you are so rude!! There should be tags on this and they should be ‘slow burn’ ‘rude’ ‘torture’. Sorry, not sorry. Please don’t hate me, my friends. I love you and can’t wait to see you next weekend. Love, Jane

@zentris @221b-carefulwhatyouwishfor @toooldforthissh-stuff @shana-movershaker @melmey-fanfics @louise175dk @technicallywiseoncns @underestimatemethatwillbefun @jhamishw @weirdlittlegoofball @superwholockpotterincamelot @superwholocklmt @ladidragonuniverse @kittenmadnessandtea @srebrnafh @welcometomyharddrive @annecumberbatch @kingdomofbrokenhearts @philliphooper @whodwantmeasaflatmate @gloriascott93 @vvaticancameoss @cow-mow @echosilverwolf @spazzz32 @absentmindedstuff @swissmissing @shuukichan @maeliandmyself @wtgilsa @thetranslucentwallaby @red-pen-revolution @britishaccentfan @dischorde @plasticstrawsmuggler @youknowyougrow

[sunsetscurving]

honey, you should see me in a crown [modern royalty AU]

CHAPTER 3 || ao3 link 

Lucas Lallemant, crown prince and heir to the throne, never needed someone to protect him. He never needed someone to protect him until the day he nearly got stabbed by an assassin.

Now he has to deal with an annoying bodyguard named Eliott Demaury who is, to the chagrin of Lucas, fucking handsome too.

As if his life isn’t difficult enough already.

lucallemant: guys, I swear, I felt like being in a fucking movie

y4z4s: this is straight out of a romantic film

basile_simple: I cannot believe that he literally followed you from the club and saved your ass

monvoisintuturo: the following thing could also be considered as stalking???? Just saying

lucallement: shut up arthur & @basile_simple yeah, me neither. I thought I would never see him again

monvoisintuturo: setting the stalking plot aside: yeah ofc, you guys made out over the whole dance floor and you think it was unbelievable that he didn’t follow you?

lucallement: well, my flirts usually do not save me from the police

basile_simple: he has a point arthur

Lucas was still laying in his bed, shirtless, smirking up at his phone which he held above his face. He told his friends the whole story as soon as he got into his room again. The guards hadn’t caught him that night and when his parents came breathless into his room, searching for him everywhere, he was pretending to be asleep, shocked that his parents disturbed him this late at night. But this was not the first time he snuck out and his parents finding him in this situation as if nothing happened. And regarding the events and the near-death of Lucas, he had to endure a long, long speech about how dangerous his nightly adventures are and how the bodyguard will finally keep him in check. Cece, who was also awake to that time, had only chuckled.

It was morning now and in some hours, he would meet his new bodyguard for the first time. His parents told him that his bodyguard actually wouldn’t arrive until the end of the week, but considering Lucas being way to careless, they ordered him into the castle and into duty already today.

Lucas looked back onto his phone and their chat. The stranger, Eliott, hadn’t left his mind since their encounter in the night. And he desperately wanted to find him again, only to see, if the vibes he felt between them were also real in a sober state of mind.

lucallemant: you guys have to do me a favor

basile_simple: 100% yes

y4z4s: 100% not

monvoisintuturo: could you please stop with your bantering and let the man speak?

Lucas quietly chuckled to himself about the dumbness of his friends.

lucallemant: since the nightly adventures have to stop now…

basile_simple: rip nightly adventures :((((

lucallemant: you guys have to find Eliott for me

There were no new messages for some moments and Lucas asked himself if he did something wrong. But suddenly, his phone didn’t stop to vibrate from all the incoming messages all at once.

y4z4s: as if we will find him again under thousands of people

basile_simple: omg we’re playing cupid YESSS

monvoisintuturo: gimme a description of him and I will find him in less than 24h

Lucas loved the enthusiasm of his friends. They acted like Lucas was going to marry tomorrow.

lucallemant: he was tall, messy hair, bright eyes with a… idk how to describe their color, it seemed to change all the time and yeah, he wore black clothes and he looked like a guy who liked to wear black clothes? And his name is Eliott… And he likes to dance… kinda dorky…

Lucas stared at this message and just realized now that all of these things were true for every second young man on the street.

basile_simple: well…

monvoisintuturo: gotcha. we will just visit every club in this town and find every man with the dorkiest dance move, hoping to find your man that way.

y4z4s: this will be the worst mission of my life.

lucallemant: I appreciate every effort, love you guys <3

basile_simple: nawwwwwwww

y4z4s: we love you too, mec

Suddenly, there was a knock on his door. Time to get ready and meet his new rusty and old grandpa bodyguard. But at least he knew that someone was looking for his disco boy now, that he would eventually find him and endure this special feeling inside of him again whenever he glanced his way.

lucallemant: time to meet grandpa bodyguard now

basile_simple: let him know who the real boss is here

lucallemant: that would be my dad……….

y4z4s: just show him that you’re no kid who needs protection or something else, maybe he’ll disappear magically from the surface somehow then

monvoisintuturo: “magically” *pulls out mask, ready to kidnap lulu’s bodyguard*

lucallemant: you guys are unbelievable, I’ll miss you all

y4z4s: we’re not out of the world, mec. tell us how the meet up went

basile_simple: yeah, we wanna know everything

monvoisintuturo: go slay ‘em Lulu!

lucallemant: will do, arthur

Lucas smiled and locked his phone. He was glad to still have the support of his friends, also when things seemed to go southward way too fast. But maybe this whole bodyguard thing wasn’t as bad as he thought right now.

Lucas got out of the bed and laughed out loud at his own thoughts.

As if. This will be hell on earth.

.

His mum wanted Lucas to wear the best clothes he had. As if any of his clothes weren’t the best things in the country. Lucas found himself in front of the mirror, wearing a black suit with a white shirt underneath and a black trouser which matched his suit jacket. He looked good, he had to admit to himself – like a prince. He drove a hand through his messy hair and he asked himself if there would be ever a day where his hair decided to cooperate with him. Today was definitely not that day.

When he emerged from his room, Cece already waited for him, sitting on a bench opposite from his room, her little legs dangling. Her eyes lit up and she ran towards Lucas as if the both of them hadn’t seen each other for years.

At least his little sister would always be on his side.

“Princess, you’re looking stunning this morning”, said Lucas with a grin as he lifted Cece up and sat her down on his hip. She was wearing a pastel blue dress with matching hairbows which made her blonde hair look golden. He was walking down the hallway with her now, the guards slightly bowing their head whenever he passed one of them. Cece giggled and kissed Lucas’ cheek, Lucas’ mood lifting up a tiny bit in this moment of affection from his sister.

“You’re also looking good, Lulu.”

“Mum would’ve killed me if I didn’t.”

“That’s true.”

She giggled again and as long as Cece would live in this castle, there would always be light and joy.

“Have you already seen my bodyguard?”, asked Lucas, curious about what was awaiting him at the end of the hallway and behind that big wooden door. Cece only grinned, making a motion as if she was locking her mouth with an unseen key and tossed it away, behind her.

“So, you’re not going to say anything?”, asked Lucas, amusement playing in his eyes. And Cece’s grin only deepened while she nodded and her blonde curls where jumping up and down at this motion.

“Oh, come on”, sighed Lucas and leaned back his head in a theatrical gesture, “Well, then I maybe have to torture you…”, said Lucas now and started to tickle his little sister. Her bubbling laughter filled the otherwise empty hallways and Cece begged him to stop, but he wouldn’t until she said something.

“Okay, okay! I will tell you everything I know if you stop”, said Cece breathless while trying to wind herself out of his arms. Lucas stopped, his eyes sparkling with laughter and he looked expectantly at his sister.

“Well?”

“I—”

“Cecille.”

Lucas and Cece turned their heads at this firm and strong voice. His father was standing in the doorway to the throne room now, looking at them with raised eyebrows. Lucas set down Cece and kissed her head.

“Our guest is already waiting”, said his father with a serious voice and inclined his head towards the room behind him. Lucas had enjoyed the bantering between him and his little sister which had distracted him from the end of his freedom.

But also a prince must face reality in the end.

“Go”, whispered Lucas towards his little sister and she ran towards their father and into the room behind him. Lucas took a deep breath and followed his sister with slow and steady steps, walking past his father, trying to ready himself for what, or better, who, he would find now. Who would be responsible for the end of his already limited freedom.

The first thing he thought when he saw him standing with his back to him in front of his mother was:

Definitely not old and rusty.

He only saw his back for now, he was apparently in a conversation with his mum. His mum hadn’t seen him either and when he walked towards the both of them, he took in the other one’s appearance: he had to be around Lucas’ age (are people so young even allowed to be a bodyguard?) dressed in a black suit, messy hair, tall and—

Wait.

Lucas stopped in his tracks.

No fucking—

“Lucas! My darling”, said his mum now as her gaze landed on him over the shoulder of his new bodyguard. She was walking towards him but Lucas kept staring at the man who now turned around.

Lucas’ jaw dropped.

Someone is definitely mocking me here.

And the other one’s jaw dropped also as he finally faced Lucas.

This is a joke. A fucking joke.

“Honey, this is your new bodyguard”, said his mum now, pointing to the young man whose eyes Lucas would never forget.

This was some kind of dream.

In front of him stood the boy who hadn’t left Lucas’ mind since the past night. He looked refreshed and still more beautiful in the sunlight than under the night sky.

“Him?”, asked Lucas with a high-pitched voice as if this question would solve all the problems on this planet. Lucas was very glad that not only he seemed to be shocked, his opposite looked equally pale now.

If Yann, Arthur and Basile would have been here now, they would already lay on the floor, laughing so hard that they ended up having breathing issues.

But this was real.

Eliott, the beautiful boy who he magically felt so connected to, was his bodyguard.

And Lucas felt some kind of anger surfacing.

“Yes, him. We thought that someone around your age would be more… accessible for you”, said his mum now, apparently not realizing what was going on between Eliott and Lucas here right now. And well, how could she? She didn’t know that the both of them nearly jumped on each other the past night.

And now Lucas was supposed to listen to him like he was a little child? That Eliott-dorky-dance-boy was supposed to keep him in check?

No fucking way.

All of the sexual tension he felt between them was overlayered by some feeling of anger. Out of all the men in this universe, it had to be him?

Great, universe. Thank you.

Eliott seemed to find his composure again after some seconds where just pure shook took over his face. He took some steps towards Lucas, bowing before him, like he was supposed to, looking Lucas’ straight in the eye. There was nothing left of the love-drunken look on his face, this blissed out expression from last night. His cheeks weren’t flushed anymore after their run through the dark and Lucas also didn’t saw any longing in the face of the other one anymore. There was just pure professionality and Lucas was now sure that yesterday night was a dream or a product of the both of them being drunk as fuck.

“I’m honored to be in your service, Prince Lucas”, said Eliott now and Lucas was this close to laughing out loud at this ridiculous situation. If it hadn’t been sad and infuriating to the same time, he would have lost it by now.

“My name’s Eliott Demaury.”

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock”, mumbled Lucas under his breath although he didn’t want to. It just slipped past his tongue and his mum cleared her throat, reminding Lucas about his behavior.

And well, if Eliott didn’t want to continue where they left off last night, Lucas would also act like the prince he was supposed to be.

“Pleasure to meet you”, said Lucas with an ice-cold voice, never breaking eye contact with Eliott.

This is not hell. This is worse.

[clericbyers]

The funny thing about RR!St3 (and yes I'm still talking about this) is that its technically your au so if u don't like stuff about season 3-and maybe that's like everything lmao- than you can change it for this au!!! so what're some things you could change to flex on the duffers with ur beautiful Galaxy brain?

oh ur so right….oh man OH MAN the power in my hands right now…this is super long but i got so into it okay thank u…

First off, my real vision for RR!ST3 would not be too close to how ST3 went down; the RR!ST3 I originally hashed out was me trying to stick close to ST3 but as I said then, it was hard bc many of the issues in ST3 wouldn’t happen if Mike wasn’t obsessed with El and if we actually address the fact that these kids are dealing with serious trauma from the events of ST2. In RR!ST2, Mike would be the one dealing with being possessed, Will would have been at his side the entire time, Nancy and Mike would be a lot tighter thanks to RR!ST1 (like she’d be very overprotective because she almost lost her brother and he’s annoying yeah but she can’t imagine not having him in her life anymore). So when RR!ST2 ends with the Snowball, I can see Mike still dancing with El when she returns because he needs to thank her, she saved his life after all, but I really. just cannot see his level of attachment being enough to try to date her. Because in ST1 and at the beginning of ST2, Mike is wracked with guilt about losing her, about bonding with her and ultimately her being a sacrifice to save them. He doesn’t have that in RR!ST1 and RR!ST2, at least not to the same degree as ST1 and ST2. He didn’t have the time to bond to El and while I think he might have fleeting feelings for his savior (like I said, nightingale effect) and have some guilt about how she seemingly gave up her life to save everyone, especially him, I also think RR!ST2 Mike would be very attached to Will though given how Will trusted him and stuck by him despite all the horrors. Mike takes loyalty very seriously and Will being with Nancy and Karen (as she would be the “crazy” mom who lost her son in RR!ST1, but she’d enlist Joyce’s help since Ted wouldn’t really care so it would be power duo Joyren trying to figure out where Mike is) in the RR!ST2 shed scene would mean a lot to him.

Now, we have those 8 months between ST2 and ST3 where basically Mike and El entered a relationship in ‘85. In that time frame in the RR au, I would focus more on how the Party is getting over the trauma they faced during RR!ST2. Firstly, Mike is definitely not okay after being possessed by a demonic godly shadow force. He’s in therapy again maybe, back on medications, IDK what exactly but he is broken inside but trying his best to act like everything is normal and he wasn’t just possessed. I think he would try to cling onto his childhood as Will did in ST3, because Mike didn’t get to grow up normal since he got kidnapped and possessed by monsters. Will and El would bond a lot in those 8 months though, definitely becoming closer siblings and El having a crush on Mike can still a thing. Mike might not feel that same way for her but he’d be down for dating if just to feel normal again. Part of that may be to continue dampening how he feels for Will because he just wants to be a regular kid again and what he feels for his best friend is not at all natural in his mind. I like the idea of Mike and El getting together in ST3 at the mall scene so I’d stick with that. But I also feel like Mike would definitely also be spending half the time subconsciously trying to stay away from El because she’s also a reminder of the horrors he faced in the UD and with the Mind Flayer.

There would be a lot of Will, El, Mike moments too! Will is her brother of sorts in the RR au and Hopper is only ever really comfortable with Mike coming to visit when Will is over, too, even before Mike agrees to date El.

So okay, Episode 1 of RR!ST3 deals with the fact that all the kids are still dealing with some sort of trauma. Mike wakes up from a nightmare, uses his walkie talkie to contact Will, and Will comes over and sits in his room with him and they chat for a bit until Mike can fall back asleep. Will sits at the foot of Mike’s bed watching him sleep before he sneaks back out the house. Nancy catches him and thanks him for stopping by and then he catches Lucas outside too while making his way back home. Lucas casually mentions that he couldn’t sleep and they chat about how weird things have been when no one in Hawkins knows what happened last fall. In the early afternoon the next day, Will bikes over to Hopper’s cabin to hang out with El, they listen to music and doodle together for hours, just being great friends. El casually mentions that she might have a bit of a crush on Mike (who comes with Dustin, Lucas, and El to visit sometimes because fuck ST3 and isolating El from the Party). This could be a moment for Will to be like, “Oh, me, too.” and they can bond over liking Mike together (that’d be cute af!! and it would help Will feel more comfortable about how he feels toward Mike when he’s able to talk about it without persecution). She asks him if Mike likes him back and Will kinda just stops doodling.

“I don’t know,” he murmurs hoarsely. “He’s never said anything.”

El hums and takes out a purple crayon to color in the grass. “Do you know if he likes me?”

Will says he doesn’t know but that he’ll figure it out for her. Hopper won’t let her come with Will to the movie that night so he promises one night he’ll help sneak her out and then bikes over to the theater. We have the ST3 theater scene but it’s reversed of course, so it’s Mike who feels the Mind Flayer and Will who asks him if he’s okay. Mike isn’t as shy and flustered as Will was in ST3 though, he tries to brush Will off petulantly (as RR!ST3 Mike tries his best to act like the events of RR!ST2 aren’t affecting him as much as it is) but Will takes his hand and says, “It’s okay to not be okay.” and Mike kinda fidgets but squeezes his hand in turn before they both go back to watching the movie.

The next day when Dustin comes back, we have the Party going up to Cerebro but there would not be any El and Mike leaving like in ST3. Instead, Will and El are whispering between themselves but it’s not really much about anything. El is too shy to ask Mike if he wants to sit with her as they listen to Dustin call his girlfriend and Will just wants her to feel comfortable near Mike and keeps pestering for her to just sit next to him. Mike is irritated because he wanted to hang with Will more today and he’s bonding with El. His powers activate from his irritation and he’s blocking the radio signal for Dustin and Suzie’s call. When it starts getting late, the Party splits up, Will and El leaving first because of curfew (a real one not the lie El told in ST3). Lucas and Max leave next and Mike is left solo with Dustin.

“I know that Will and El aren’t together, but god, I feel so childish being the single one out.” Mike complains as a chill breeze washes over the two of them.

Dustin hums distractedly, still trying to work out why Cerebro isn’t picking up Suzie’s channel. It takes a moment for Mike’s words to sink in and then he perks. “You know, El likes you.”

“She what?” Mike blurts, giving Dustin a look. “No, she doesn’t. She can’t.”

“Uh, but she can and she does.” Dustin turns a random knob to a different frequency. “It’s pretty obvious; she was sending you heart eyes this entire time if your oblivious ass would have realized.”

Mike isn’t sure how to feel about it. He’s always seen El as Will’s sister, especially with Hopper attempting (and kinda failing) at dating Joyce. Even when they danced at Snowball, it was a thing of gratitude, of joy, of acknowledging that she hadn’t died and he was happy about that. But, El actually liking him? “What am I supposed to do about that?”

“Do you like her?”

Mike scrunches his nose. He feels…something toward her but he’s not really sure what it is. It’s not the same way he feels toward Nancy but it’s not what he felt toward Max either. And it’s definitely not what he feels toward Will, but he doesn’t want to think about that right now. He wants to feel normal. “I’m not sure.”

“Well, if it’s not a solid no, then I’d say go for it.” Dustin adjusts his hat and leans back with a sigh. “She’s cute and I think this is the first time a cute girl has ever liked your nerdy ass.”

“Shut up,” laughs Mike and he nudges his friend who grins in turn. He looks up at the sky and sighs. “I should probably get back home before my mom goes nuts. Talk to you later, yeah?”

“I’m leaving, too,” he sighs as he stands up. “I don’t know why this isn’t working. Maybe the clouds are too overcast.”

Mike shrugs and flicks at the radio’s antenna. It buzzes erratically, static blasting through Dustin’s headphones and then suddenly there’s a voice coming through the noise. It’s a blend of things, like the receiver is caught between two frequencies. One is Suzie, the other is some spoken code (in English because the random inclusion of the Russians works for Red Scare era / anti-Russia 80′s America but like…it had no set up so I wouldn’t use it for RR!ST3) that neither Mike nor Dustin can understand. Dustin tries to fix the frequency channels to focus on Suzie, but he looses her and the input only focuses on the frequency the code is on. Mike touches the antenna again, holding on this time around, and he can literally feel the electric currents coursing through him, something sharper than a tickle but not as harsh as actual electrocution. The dials on the receiver interface start wavering about randomly and crazily until Mike lets go and then there’s only static again.

“What the,” Dustin mutters, bending down to check how Cerebro is working. “What did you do?”

Mike stares down at his hands, a panic attack on the edge of his senses because, seriously, what the hell was that? First having flashbacks in the theater and feeling that shocking tingling sensation on their way up the hill, now this? “I…I don’t know.”

Dustin taps at a dial and frowns. “Touch it again. Like hold onto it as you did earlier.” Mike does as told and the dials go nuts again. “Mike…do you…have you had any issues near electrical appliances recently?”

Mike scowls and tries to remember if anything odd has happened recently. “No? Not really. Sometimes the radio in my mom’s car doesn’t work and the TV gets a little staticy but that’s normal. Oh, and we had flickering lights out at the cabin when Will, Lucas, and I visited but it’s a cabin in the woods so what do you expect.”

Dustin bites at his bottom lip. “And this only happens when you’re around?”

“I, uh,” Mike grabs at his hair, “No, no, it doesn’t. It doesn’t. It can’t…I’m not, what…I thought that was the Upside Down only.”

“What do you mean?”

“I could touch the lights and the TV when I was in the Upside Down version of the basement. And when I touched them, everything glowed. Kind of like casting Daylight in D&D.” Mike struggles to find his breath; he never really talks about what it was like in the Upside Down. “And…and I knew, I knew where the demogorgon was before I should have. Like innate. And the dead people…”

“Detect Evil?” Dustin suggests, cocking his head to the side. “Mike, do you think any of that stuck with you here?”

[ So basically, the equivalent of “magic” in D&D is electricity in the real world / the Upside Down since electricity and tech is kinda like modern magic, and all of Mike’s powers in the Upside Down are, in theory, paladin spells. He couldn’t control which lights flickered on like Will did in ST1 but he can turn them on and he can create a beacon, along with talking to the dead and having an innate circle of protection around him (a magic circle as paladins can have!) ]

Mike goes back home totally freaked out and refusing to believe he has “powers” because his time in the UD felt like such a nightmare anyway. He just wanted to survive, he didn’t ask for this, he didn’t ask for the Mind Flayer to possess him and use his body to kill people, to almost destroy Hawkins in the process. And that night, Mike decides he absolutely cannot let these possible powers do anything or mean anything because he’s normal, he’s a normal 14-year-old boy who is absolutely not crushing on his very male best friend, no, he’s gonna get a girlfriend, and hang out at the mall like kids do over the summer, and everything is going to be fine.

The next day, Will doesn’t go over to El’s place to hang out, Mike picks up the phone and says a dumb lie about Will being busy to try to get out of it. (“Friends don’t lie,” says El afterwards. “But brothers do.” snorts Max, “All. The. Time.”) He’s frustrated by El wanting to spend time with Will one-on-one when he’s trying to get the og4 Party members together for some normal hangout time playing D&D because, again, Mike here is the one trying to cling onto his childhood, even more now that he might have “powers”. They play D&D with Mike as DM and it all goes well until Karen comes downstairs asking about magnets and Mike internally freaks out. He’s been feeling like someone is watching him for a while now (hint: El when spying on the boys in the Void) and now his mom is talking about something that could very well be his powers working. Dustin knows and can actually see it, so he suggests everyone should get some fresh air and hang out at the mall. The Party goes out shopping, they hang out at Scoops Ahoy and Mike and Dustin share their story about the radio last night but purposefully leave out details about what Mike did with the antenna. Will feels guilty for lying so he’s trying to find some new clothes so El isn’t always wearing Hopper’s hand-me-downs, and they run into Max and El outside.

“Well, well, well,” Max huffs as she crosses her arms. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Will is worried because El leaving the house and being at the mall of all places would definitely make Hopper upset. “Are you okay?” he asks her, careful not to sound too overbearing. “Does Hopper know you’re here?”

El shrugs. “I told him I was seeing Max. And I am.” She turns to Mike. “You said Will couldn’t come over yet you are shopping. Why did you lie?”

Mike, who has spent practically the whole time at the mall on pins and needles, is really not in the mood for being questioned like this. “It just came out. I wanted to hang with the boys, okay? Just us. Like old days.”

El frowns. “Do you not like me?”

“No! No, I really like you!” Mike softens up and gives her a smile. “Honest; friends don’t lie, right? I’m sorry I lied to you. Today’s been…weird.” Dustin huffs at that. “Don’t worry about it though, I genuinely like you.”

And Mike doesn’t mean it that way–he had just said ‘friends don’t lie’ because he really does see her as a friend–but El takes it that way, and she grins widely, blushing as she ducks her head. “I like you, too, Mike.”

Will didn’t even think Mike liked El that way but now that it’s spoken in front of him, he can feel his heart breaking just a bit because any chance he thought he had is gone in his mind. El steps into Mike’s space and he blinks a couple times. “I want to go out with you.”

Dustin gasps, Lucas covers his mouth, Will tries his best not to look dejected, and Max whoops at her side. Mike turns to Will, who is staring at his feet, and then looks back at El. (A parallel to Snowball when Will looked at Mike for approval before going to dance with Zombie Boy girl.) Mike told himself he was gonna get a girlfriend and be normal, right? Ignore whatever happens in his chest when Will smiles at him. Ignore all of that and his stupid powers and be normal. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Let’s go out.”

So the Party stays at the mall a little longer and Mike and El hang out together and get ice cream at Scoops’ Ahoy, which is amusing to Steve and Robin both. At the end, they go back to the Wheelers and El has to go back to the cabin but Mike is kind of in a daze because wow, he just got a girlfriend for the first time and went on a date with her. Dustin keeps teasing him, Lucas is cackling and making kissing jokes, but Will…Will is oddly silent at first. They get back on the campaign but no one can really concentrate and Will starts getting concerned about El and how she was out and about without Hopper’s knowledge. Mike is even more frustrated now because he thought things were going to start getting normal now, but it just seems to be falling apart. Will won’t even concentrate on the campaign, Dustin is horrible at trying to be subtle about if Mike’s powers are activating, and Lucas is complaining with Will about how Max and El are hanging out.

Mike lashes out and storms outside, where Will goes after him. “Mike, I’m sorry, it’s a really good campaign,” Will starts with a hand to Mike’s shoulder, “but I’m worried about El and I just…I can’t concentrate right now. We can play it tomorrow, I promise.”

Mike yanks himself away from Will. “Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, it’s always tomorrow! I said ‘see you tomorrow’ before and then I never did! Tomorrow may never fucking come! But oh, that doesn’t matter, huh? Tomorrow always comes for you. Tomorrow is always gonna be better.”

“Mike,”

“No!” he yells and lightening crackles in the distance. “No, you don’t get to say anything! You keep spending time with El, forgetting about all of us! I’m her boyfriend now and I’m not even this obsessed with her whereabouts.” He waves at Will, who scowls. “She’s not even really your sister and you’re letting her just ruining the party like this? And for what? So you can have a fake younger sister to hole up in her room all day?”

Will’s nostrils flare. “El is my sister whether you like it or not!” He snaps back with irritation. “It’s not my fault you don’t like El!”

Mike pauses, eyes widening just a fraction as his breath visibly hitches. No one was supposed to know that he wasn’t even sure how he felt…Dustin himself had come to the conclusion that Mike knew he liked El all along. Will though wants to take it back immediately. Taking out his anger onto Mike isn’t fair at all and just because Mike suddenly has a girlfriend doesn’t mean he should try to accuse Mike of not liking her. But he can’t help but question either way because Mike barely alluded to seeing her that way anyway.

“Look, I’m…I’m sorry, that came out wrong. So wrong.” He steps toward Mike, who tenses up more. “I know you like El, okay? I know you care about her. I care about her, too, just differently. She helped save you and the Party, how can I not care? That type of care has been with me for months. I can’t shut that off. I’m sorry.”

Mike’s breathing is getting denser and his vision is getting blurry because now he knows. Now he knows how he feels and he really fucked up saying yes to dating El. He doesn’t like her like Nancy and he doesn’t like her like Max either. He especially doesn’t like her like a boyfriend. “I like El like how you like her.”

“Mike?” Will’s voice is soft and shaking a little and Mike feels like throwing up.

“El saved me,” he whispers, “She saved me and I like her for that. I do. But she’s not…”

“She’s not what?”

Mike is crying now, angry tears dripping down his face like the rain as his voice crackles like the thunder. “She’s not you! I thought she would be enough and maybe I was wrong for it but it hasn’t even been a full day and I already know! I already know I don’t like her like that because I like you!”

There’s nothing but the patter of rain and Mike’s heavy breathing, and Mike can already feel his heart breaking because he spent so long trying to deny this and now he blurted it out in the midst of an argument like a dumbass and now Will is going to hate him. Hate him for not being normal, hate Mike for being what Lonnie always said he was. He’s crying still, hands shaking at his side as the tears continue to spill.

Will looks up at him with widened eyes and Mike can’t take it any longer. He can’t face the inevitable rejection right now. “I need to go.”

“Mike, wait, no! Mike!” Will rushes toward him but Mike’s already on his bike and riding through the rain. “Mike! Mike, come back!”

When Mike doesn’t turn back, Will rushes downstairs, tears streaming down his face as well and he can barely get his words out. “We need to find Mike, we need to find him now!”

“Will, what happened?” Lucas asks but Will grabs his jacket instead of replying.

“We need to go, now.” the brunette is shaking and Dustin puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Seriously, Will, what happened? Is he okay? Is he hurt?”

“Yes, yes, oh my god,” Will collapses on the stairs before he can finish climbing them. “Oh my god, he confessed to me.”

“Confessed what? His powers?”

Will blinks a few times and looks up at Dustin as he rubs at his runny nose. “His what? Powers?”

Dustin freezes. “Oh. I, uh, I thought…oh…oh. Mike likes you?”

Will waves a passing hand. “Pause, what is this about Mike’s powers?”

Lucas speaks up with irritation. “I thought you said we need to go!”

So all the boys get on their bikes and ride toward the Byers house since that’s where Mike would go when his nightmares got bad enough and it’s a safe place for him outside of the basement. Dustin explains what Mike had done with Cerbero and how they caught this code that he had been sort of hashing out with Steve and Robin when they went to the mall. No one is home at the Byers residence (Joyce and Karen are out with Hopper doing their whole side storyline there) and Will starts to freak out more.

“Where would he be, where would he be?”

Lucas crosses his arms. “Maybe the cabin? That’s where his girlfriend is after all.”

And that’s not where Mike is, he’s actually with Steve and Robin at the mall given he feels he’d be better off with someone who understands the UD/MF mess (Steve) and someone who doesn’t know the Party dynamics (Robin). He’s just about to tell Robin about his confession to Will when he feels the Mind Flayer and knows that he’s back.

The rest of the season is kinda…the same ish but also not?? But so I don’t write out the whole damn thing now lmao here are the pointers:

El and Mike are still trying to be girlfriend and boyfriend when they reunite at the cabin (Scoops Troop is a thing but it’s not tied to the Russian bs so they aren’t at the mall the entire time) but Mike is also really uncomfortable with El’s advances though he tries not to act like it.

Mike avoids Will as best he can even though Will keeps trying to get one-on-one time with Mike to confess that he likes him back

Jonathan and Nancy team up at the cabin too with news about the exploding rats (the MF’s attempt to possess non humans that went wrong) and Mike speaks up about how he might have powers himself

El tries to teach him how to go into the Void (which would be like a prayer for him) but when he does so, he ends up running into the Mind Flayer and find out that it’s after him and is willing to kill all his friends to get to him

Mike and El both pull out of the Void together gasping and crying and Will is immediately at Mike’s side as Max rushes to El. “He’s going to kill us,” Mike sobs shakily, “He’s going to kill us all.”

El gets attacked by the Mind Flayer (not Meat Flayer) because it was coming for Mike and she intercepted the transmission using her mind

At the hospital Mike breaks up with El (instead of how in ST3 they became friends again), and she’s a little hurt but understanding when he confesses that he likes someone more than her and doesn’t want to hurt her by lying to her constantly when dating her

Will finally gets Mike to himself here and is about to confess but then Mike feels the Mind Flayer (his innate sense evil power) and it’s possessed someone. He confronts it, helps save Nancy from the shapeshifting demogorgon attacking her, and banishes it from this dimension, only to pass out from the effort

El takes over with her powers and with Mike’s help, accesses the radio to find the channel that Dustin and Mike had found before. She discovers that someone is trying to open the gate again under the mall

At the supermarket, Will and Mike finally get to talk and Will confesses that he likes Mike, too. “Blank makes you crazy, right?” Mike chuckles as he takes Will’s hand in his own. He’s not willing to say love yet even if he knows it’s true. He knows that Will understands him though. Will always does.

“Yeah,” the boy replies sweetly, “blank makes you crazy.”

Cue an almost kiss before Lucas and Dustin come around with the fireworks and they all get over to the mall

Big battle against the Mind Flayer and the people it possessed. Instead of a giant gory meat machine, it possesses people in Hawkins like it did Mike in RR!ST2 and uses them to shapeshift them into individual monsters. So the Party is attacked by a horde of demogorgons and demodogs!!

The fireworks help a lot as Lucas suggested, and Mike and El work together as superpowered besties to banish the Mind Flayer from all the neighbors. Some die in the process (because it’s just, brutal and violent and horrible) and Mike gets temporarily repossessed in the battle but he’s more leveled up now and understands how this works, so he can banish the MF from him (a level 4 paladin spell might I add!) as much as El used her powers to take out the piece of the meat machine in her leg in ST3

Hopper closes the gate but not in enough time (we need him in the Upside Down for RR!ST4) and then the Mind Flayer retreats, but it kills all the people it had possessed in the process, which only wrecks the kids with guilt for being unable to save everyone like they almost did

This also frightens Mike who has been possessed by the Mind Flayer because it means his connection is still strong enough that the Mind Flayer could kill him instantly too (but it won’t bc Mike and El’s powers are too strong and it could possibly kill itself trying to kill them through that connection)

At the end there’s no one really moving away. El has lost her powers, Mike’s are nearly depleted / he doesn’t know how to use them without El’s help. Everyone is mourning Hopper and with El and Mike unable to use their powers, they can’t go into the Void to see that Hopper’s actually alive.

uhhh the epilogue is the first day of high school and the Party are hopping off their bikes and chatting about something nonsensical. Lucas and Max are holding hands, Dustin is waving his arms about wildly as he explains his latest science project, and Mike and Will are standing close together, just enough to brush their fingers together. (El is homeschooled since she needs to catch up on her education)

“You okay?” Will asks quietly as they stand off to the side away from the bustling crowds. “It’s okay to not be okay.”

“I know,” Mike grins down at his boyfriend, which is still so blush inducing to think about, so he blushes. “But, I’m fine. I’ve got you right beside me so I’m definitely okay.”

[sowhatgguk]

protect my heart - myg

REQUESTED: #25 w/ yoongi - “why don’t you understand?”

it’s been sitting in the drafts for a while, but since school has started and work isn’t as hectic, i decided to post this before i forgot. i have one more request, it’s coming soon! send in more through my ask :)

WARNING: um idk i don’t think it’s that angsty but if you’re very emotional this can be kinda sad? yoongi!bf, heartbreak, mentions of cheating and sad stuff i guess 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

You stare at the message, wondering if there was something wrong. But you figured it was due to stress, so you ignored that feeling. Making Yoongi angry wasn’t something you planned to do.

You’d head to the restaurant and pick a few of his favourite things. Just to make sure he eats and sleep well at the studio. And then you’d head home. As much as yoongi hated being bothered, you knew you had to take care of his health. Sometimes, he doesn’t know his limits.

You spend time around the house watching television, checking social media and then taking a shower to get ready. you make sure to put a mask on your face before heading outside. No one would suspect you, everyone wore them in this cold weather.

But as you approach bighit’s company building, your cellphone seems to weigh heavy in your pocket. You push aside your thoughts, you were here to take care of your boyfriend and not annoy him.

You knock lightly on his studio door, the bag of food feeling heavy. You place your ear to the door, not hearing a thing. Maybe he’s sleeping? You think to yourself not before slowly opening the door.

What you see hurts your heart. Yoongi is sleeping on the couch cuddling a girl. You don’t even know her, or understand why she would be in his studio that close anyways. Maybe she replaced you.

You quietly place the food on a small table, being careful not to make a mess with his equipment everywhere. You spot a small piece of paper and pen. You write a small note to yoongi.

Hey, I noticed you fell asleep and I didn’t want to bother you and your friend. I got your favourites, make sure to warm them up. I wanted to make sure you’re eating well and sleeping well. I’m glad. Please don’t stress yourself, and take care of yourself yoongs. Because I won’t be able to do that anymore. I love you.

Y/N

in the midst of your shuffling, the noise caused yoongi to stir. You met his horrified gaze once he realized his position. He carefully tried to get up, but you gave him a sad smile.

Goodbye Min Yoongi.

You place the pen down onto the table and quietly closed the door. You walk to the elevator when you hear his footsteps. So you decide to take the emergency exit stairs 5 flights down.

You’re biting your lip, fighting your tears as you bolt down the stairs. Not bothering to be quiet, you pushed the exit door with all the energy you have and book it to your car. You lock the door, trying to breathe.

You rub your face with your hands, not caring if your makeup was ruined. The space between you and him get evidently smaller, and your lungs constrict. A panic attack.

You laugh bitterly. Getting all riled up because of a man. You promised yourself that you would never let a man affect you like this. But you never thought that man would be min yoongi.

Your hands shakily reach to press the START button to rev the engine. You see yoongi burst out the back door, frantically looking for you. He spots you crying in your car but before he can run to you, your car is leaving the parking lot. Leaving him behind.

You force yourself to turn up the radio to drown out his yelling. You refuse to be foolish. Perhaps you did have some dignity; call it pride. You had enough of people manipulating you, using you as if you were there for pure convenience.

But deep inside you knew, you would let min yoongi hurt you again anyways.

“Fuck.” Yoongi curses as he makes his way back into the building and walking into his studio. By the time he opens the door, he sees that the girl is gone, just like you. He decides to open the bag of food you got him, refusing to let your hard work go to waste. Even if he did lose you.

Your note is like a warning sign for him. But he reads it. And his heart crumbles in pain. Suddenly, the thought of eating food didn’t seem appealing anymore. He falls back onto the couch crumpling the piece of paper in his hands. And for the first time in a long time, he cries.

He lets out harsh sobs as he blindly reaches for his cellphone. He reads the texts you sent him and his grip tightens.

He wants to call you, and tell you it was a misunderstanding. He wants you back. That he needs you and loves you.

But one of his downfalls is confrontation. So he doesn’t. He leaves you alone. Leaving him to swallow his pain by working on his new track and drinking liquors til he passes out.

He doesn’t remember how long he’s been in the studio. But his body can feel it. So when somebody opens the door, he winces at the intrusion of light.

“oppa! You need to leave the studio, it reeks. Gah! Did something die in here?”

He merely turns to face another of the producers. She’s scrunching her nose at the sight of him.

He turns back to his computer, adding a few touches here and there. He hears her sigh and the door closes.

Within minutes, she comes back with namjoon, seokjin and a bottle of febreze. He gives her a confused look as Namjoon and Seokjin practically manhandle him out of the studio.

“Oh my Lord this is fucking nasty, get him out.” She says with a pained look as she sprays the whole studio.

“Hey! My equipment! I haven’t finished the track! Let me back-“ he yells as she slams the door in his face.

It’s quiet. He knows what he looks like. A pathetic mess.

“Yoongi-ssi.” Seokjin calls him, but he doesn’t meet the elder’s gaze.

“Hyung, what happened? You never work yourself this hard. You should go home.” Namjoon softly suggests as he shakes his head.

“Home? The studio is my home. Not like I can go back to the dorms.”

“What do you mean the studio is your home? What about y/n?” Seokjin inquires and at the sound of your name, he loses it.

“I cannot go back to her. I lost her hyung, don’t you get it? She fucking hates me because I broke her heart.”

“What exactly did you do wrong?” Seokjin softly asks as yoongi felt his heart constrict.

“She brought me food a few days ago. I was working on the new track. I fell asleep on the couch.”

“She got mad at you because you were sleeping?” Namjoon says confused meeting seokjin’s look.

“Yeah, she found me sleeping on the couch… with another girl.”

There was a dead silence in the room, but all Yoongi could hear was his own heart beat pounding.

“Who is the girl, Min Yoongi?” Seokjin has a subtle glint of anger in his voice as he muttered

“intern. She was bringing me coffee and we were talking about stuff and she told me to take a break. So I lied on the couch but in my sleepy mode I pulled her onto me.”

“Well she’s fired.” Namjoon sighs to himself, rolling his shoulders back to alleviate the back pain.

“She shouldn’t be engaging in things like that with coworkers let alone idols. But the question is; why did you let her?”

Maybe because I was missing you. So I could take love from anyone who offered. So why couldn’t I take it from you?

“I-i don’t know. But I have to fix it.”

“She just slept on top you, right? You didn’t sleep with her… right?”

Namjoon looks afraid to ask, probably because he was the closest friend you had in bight aside from the maknae line.

“I didn’t… but I almost.” Yoongi whispers as he hear seokjin mutter curses under his breath.

“Well I don’t know what to tell you Min Yoongi. You lost the best thing in your life because of your carelessness. Your inability to accept people into your life. So why are you upset when you keep pushing her away? You need to set fucking boundaries when entering and being in a relationship. So you either chuck your pride and make it up to Y/N or you fuck off and leave her alone. Either way you still need to apologize to her.”

Yoongi bites his inner cheek as he processes the information. He had to apologize to you, but how? Surely it’s too late, a week has already passed.

Namjoon softly nudges yoongi which shakes him out of his reverie.

“It’s better late than never, hyung. Go to her.”

For the first time in a long time, yoongi left the studio and left the building.

It’s been a week since you’ve seen Yoongi. You just assumed that things were over, since he hasn’t made an effort to contact you. His silence and lack of response just shows you that she means a lot to him.

You sigh looking at the empty tub of coffee flavoured ice-cream. Maybe you’ve sulked for a bit now, but it’s time to stop. There were things to be done, eventually.

There’s a knock on your door. You furrow your brows in confusion. You weren’t expecting anyone, did you order something online?

You open the door without looking at who it was. It was yoongi, drenched, looking like he came back from the dead a week later.

“Yoongi? What are you doing here?” You say with arms crossed. You could let him inside, but part of you wants him to suffer. Also, if you were to let him inside, you would be vulnerable. And knowing your emotional state, you wouldn’t be rational and probably just take him back without batting an eye.

“I’m so fucking late and I’m sorry. I- I just need to talk to you, please Y/N. I-“

fine. I should probably let him in before Mrs. Kim 5 doors down starts to become nosy.

“Whatever, just don’t make the floor too wet.” You say opening the door wider, watching him carefully place his shoes and hanging his coat.

He follows you to the bedroom and you give him a towel to dry up in the bathroom. While he does that, you pull a pair of his clothes that he left behind and give it to him. He smiles back in gratitude but it turns out to be a grimace.

You go to the kitchen to make some tea. As you’re pouring the tea in the two mugs, you spot yoongi walk out with bare fare and a towel on his shoulders. Your heart beats at the sight of him, so maybe you’re not healing as fast as you wanted.

He sits at the chairs you’ve planted near the countertop. You both quietly drink, allowing the background noise of rain to fill the room.

After a while, he speaks.

“I don’t know how many times I will apologize to express myself, but I know none of them will make things better. You might not even forgive me, and that’s something I have to live with.”

You decide to look at anywhere but him. Maybe if you saw the emotion in his eyes, it would become more surreal.

“- but I can’t ask to be back in your life regardless if I don’t give you an explanation. And I know I don’t deserve to be in your life after this. Not as a boyfriend or even a friend.

But basically i was distancing myself from you, because I was stressed, I didn’t want it to affect our relationship but-“

He lets out a bitter laugh, looking into his cup.

“-Turns out I did more than that, didn’t I? And what you saw was basically this intern I’ve been teaching her the ropes at bight. She told me to take a break, since I was working for too long. So when I lied on the couch, I reached out for her hand and she fell on top of me.

I don’t know why I did that. Maybe because she reminded me of you. That I enjoyed someone taking care of me no matter who it was. But that was it, I didn’t sleep with her. But, I mean I could have. I don’t know what I was thinking.

But I understand why that would make you feel betrayed. I’m so sorry Y/N… I pushed you away when you were trying to just offer me your heart.”

“Yoongi.” You call out as he wipes his tears with the back of his hand.

“You really broke my heart. Not just seeing you with her but the fact that you went to anyone but me.”

“But I’m here! I’m saying sorry and that I still love you. Why don’t you understand?”

“What do you mean I don’t understand? I did more than understand, I never bothered or smothered you. I gave you space. I allowed you to be by yourself and a space to talk things through. If anything, you don’t understand. You don’t value our relationship or me, min yoongi. Who goes to say later you won’t do something worse?”

Yoongi looks helpless, but you avert your gaze. You walk to put your glass in the sink. And when you turn around, he’s on the floor. Kneeling at your feet. On reflex, you bend down to his level offering a hand.

“You don’t need to kneel, yoongi. Save yourself the embarrassment. Get up.”

He shook his head, frame trembling with each word he spoke. “I can’t lose you, i refuse to let you go. I know you won’t forgive me, because of all the shit i’ve done but please don’t leave me. I can’t, you can’t make me please.” 

You stare at his pathetic frame for a while, memorizing his features. sure, he didn’t sleep with her. but not to say it wasn’t his fault. who am i to be angry with her when he pulled her on top? but do all people deserve second chances? won’t i be regarded as weak and naive?

“I can’t make you leave. I can’t make you stop loving me. But I can protect my heart, which is something you failed to do. I’m sorry, Min Yoongi. I would say to give me time, but i don’t know how long that will be. And you’re a busy man, with a life filled with success you won’t have time for me.” 

Yoongi looks at you with bloodshot eyes and nods. He turns to leave as you follow him to the door shakily. Before he steps outside, he turns to face you. His lip starts to quiver, and your heart breaks. 

“can i ask a favour from you? just one more time?” he meekly asks as you nod. 

he slowly reaches for your arms, and you let him touch you. you want to feel his embrace, but it feels different this time. and when he gets closer, you close the gap. a farewell kiss.

and ever since that shared moment, you don’t see min yoongi ever again. 

[arianaistired]

My Experience Meeting Taylor (WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK)

@taylorswift THATS US WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

(also I just finished typing this and it’s so so fucking long I’m so sorry this is a warning. I don’t even get to rep room for so long I can’t breathe I’m so sorry)

Okay, so I’m at work right now, but I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about Saturday--which can really be the tagline for the past 3 days of my life--and then I realized that I haven’t posted a single thing about it on tumblr dot com!!! I’ve really not shut the fuck up about it on twitter but this is a whole new platform, a whole new WORLD that I have not tapped into and annoyed everyone by talking CEASELESSLY about this experience. Like I’m pretty sure that everyone is going to murder me on twitter if i don’t shut up soon, but we’re not there yet on papersairplane dot tumblr dot com so here we fucking go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay the story of my day on Saturday really begins on Friday night after Metlife night 1, a joyous occasion wherein Taylor Swift Touched My Hand at the barricade. So I was just like floating on a fucking cloud after that concert, trekking back to the lowly island of Long Island, New York and texting my friend jess @monica-geller. I was thinking about how I’ve done literally nothing to try to meet miss swift in my entire meaningless existence on this earth and I was thinking about how it doesn’t hurt to TRY so I was like hm. I’ll make a post!!! I didn’t but more on that later.

So i tell jess I’m gonna make a post and then in classic ariana fashion I just sit there on the train not making my post bc i was like deadass...I have nothing to say like nothing about me is particularly interesting it’s not like my house caught on fire and, in the absence of a fire hose, i used the soothing lyrics of stay beautiful from taylor swift’s debut album (2006) to will the flames into submission. like i just really love that woman i don’t have anything else TO SAY. omg side note i love how this started off with proper grammar and spelling and capitalization and now i’m talking like i don’t even know how to read. whatever. so then liz @lastskiss decides to get a fucking idk like a call from God Herself (stream god is a woman by ariana grande) and she’s like wow i should make ariana a post and i see her tweet and i’m life fuck it i’ve told her not to in the past but i’m tired and lazy and nothing’s gonna come of this anyway so i’ll let her make the post. so i text her my seat info and then i’m like “wow my work is done here i’m so talented for pressing send on the imessage app.”

so liz makes this post and is like “should i post it :O” and jess is like “yeah post it that dumb bitch is never gonna do anything herself” which...tea….and liz, being an intellectual in addition to being a magical wizard, is like “tea” and does it. Idk why this is a short novel already but i’m extremely bored at work and trying to get all the deets in. so this is at like i wanna say 1:45am EST aka everyone’s asleep except for liz in LA and jess in australia. so i reblog it once bc if you haven’t already grasped it i’m a lazy dumbass with low expectations and i go to sleep like “my work here is done.” so liz and jess and a few other beautiful souls by jesse mccartney reblog the post while i’m asleep, unbeknownst to me, and a few hours later at 8am i wake up and get ready for brunch. So i’m well aware that it’s gonna rain tonight so i’m like i should not put that much effort into my appearance bc i’m going to look like a drowned rat by the end of this day (stupid, but not untrue i really did) so i like actually do the bare minimum like i just basically put on whatever was most comfortable to dance around in the pouring rain in and then zoomed out the door for brunch bc it was in harlem at 12 and i was on long island at 9 so i was like g2g.

change of scenery now: i’m at brunch in harlem with a bunch of friends and soon to be friends and its 12:15 and i’m like “cool i’m with people from the internet so it’s not rood if i check twitter” and I do and i see a dm notification and i’m like oh the let me check. And check i did. And what the fuck was there??? 10 hours after liz hit send on that blessed post what was in my direct messages on the twitter for iphone app? That’s right friends and foes. It was a dm from one miss taylor nation. And what do i do???????????? I turn my phone face down on the table and my hands just start shaking and i’m pretty sure i blacked out as if i was having a petit mal seizure. So i come to, and pick my phone back up and send them my name, my number, and the best time for them to call (“you can call me at literally any time and i will pick up”) and i turn my phone face up on the table and stare at it. And stare. And stare…………...and an hour and a half (!!!) later FINALLY i get a call from miss nation. And i sprinted out of that restaurant. The poor waitress probably thought that denise @pettyswift had threatened to murder me with how fast i ran out of the premises. 10 mins later i return to the table and everyone’s staring at me with expectant gazes and i’m just like completely utterly non reactive like i think i was just in shock because i didn’t understand what was happening. Like i literally expected it to be merch lmaosafujkafn like so to get to speak to whoever that was on the phone and to hear her say the words “if all is fine and you get confirmed, you will be meeting taylor tonight” was jsut….a shock to the system to say the least. So i was still anticipating it to go wrong because like what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK????? Anwyay. So i get the confirmation and i’m still completely nonreactive but i call my friend anthony @shakeitoffs to tell him (sidenote: i know we’re not supposed to tell anyone but like. I was going with him to the concert i had to. Like i was already under a lot of stress i’m sure everyone understands if i didn’t follow all the rules to a t) and i say goodbye to the table and i start making my journey from harlem to new jersey.

fast forward a few hours to ~4pm and literally the only thoughts in my brain are “what the fuck” “i’m so scared” and “can jess wake the fuck up” like idk why i was so concerned with jess waking up asjkfas like i just NEEDED HER TO WAKE UP. so anthony and i make our journey to metlife because i needed to be at will call between 4-5 to pick up my rep room pass. Anthony’s buzzing, i’m on the verge of throwing up, liz is freaking the fuck out, and jess still isn’t awake. And i get to will call and give them my ID fully expecting something to go wrong….and it does!!! The will call people are like “maam we havent gotten anything from taylor nation yet please check back in 20 mins.” cool. So finally at this point jess wakes up and is freaking out so now liz anthony and jess are all freaking out and i’m just terrified that something’s going to go wrong. FINALLY 15 mins later the will call people waved me back, i gave them my ID, and i received in my undeserving hands that yellow ass rep room paper. I nearly threw up. Bc at this point i had been like working under the assumption t hat something, ANYTHING, was going to go wrong like i half expected the uber to the stadium to spontaneously combust while i was in the car. So to have confirmation that i was supposed to be at a certain gate in less than 40 mins to then be brought backstage to meet taylor alison swift….was a lot. It’s still a lot.

So i take the picture and tweet it and everyone is being so nice and happy for me which only exacerbates the feeling of A Lotness bc i just felt so completely and utterly undeserving, but this isn’t me trying to get people to tell me i deserved it it’s just me being honest about how i felt. And on top of all of this, the fact that i had never in my life tried to meet taylor also meant that i had never in my life prepared to meet taylor. Of course i’ve thought about what i’d say, who hasn’t, but never under the actual assumption that i was meeting taylor. And NEVER with the confirmed knowledge that i was MEETING TAYLOR IN HALF AN HOUR. so, as aforementioned, IT WAS A LOT.

So skip to 5:30, the meeting time, and i’m standing on the floor where i’m supposed to be and waiting in line with like 6 other people waiting for taylor nation to take us backstage. And they start to!!! But then they get to me and ask for my name and i tell them and i’m NOT ON THE LIST JKANFKASJNFJ so im panicking once again like oh this is it. But i tell the tn guy that i got my dm at like 12 that day and i can show it to him and he was like “ohhhh i think i got a text about a late add” and looks through his texts and he’s like “yeah here you are.” which was terrifying like i was really a late ass add huh like someone was like add this girl huh. the.

So finally they bring us backstage.i think i must’ve been visibly distressed at this point bc one of the other fans in line came up to me and was like “you’re nervous too huh” like i’m pretty sure i looked like i was being taken to my execution. They stop us outside of the door and i can see scottifer swift and tree paine and andrea and i’m like “holy fuck this is actually happening.” And giuseppe the dancer walks past me and i’m like “holy fucking shit this is actually happening and also that man is so fucking hot.” they tell us to put all of our shit on the table, and i do (minus my yellow pass which i was still grasping as if it was going to be ripped out of my hands as cameramen crashed the scene like i was on punk’d and everyone including taylor was going to point and laugh at the fact that i actually for one second thought this was going to happen to me. Yes i’m dramatic what about it) and i enter the rep room. The snake habitat if you will. I enter a room and the first group goes in almost immediately and i hear taylor swfit’s speaking voice saying “hiiiiiiii” reverberate around the room and i’m like OH MY FUCKING GOD…….so like i said i was nervous and definitely visibly so. Like i’m pretty sure i was pacing. I was also singing along to lets get married by bleachers because i have morals, but i definitely looked scared. So the tn person in the room keeps offering to take polaroids of me next to all of the decorations ajkfjasnfkjnfa like she must’ve been trying to reassure me which i really appreciated.

The room is like a big dark well decorated room that has a well lit corner curtained off, which is where taylor and the photographer are and where the m&g takes place. So for my sanity i needed to like look into it so that my blood pressure could return and so that i didnt throw up on taylor the millisecond i walked into the glow of the ring light, so i casually walked to where the curtain area was and looked in between the two curtains where a sliver of bright ass light was escaping and i saw taylor in all her taylor swifitan glory with my own two unholy eyes and i was liek “well…..that did nothing to cure my stress” because she was just SO TALL AND BEAUTIFUL that i was just so fucking...idk. Idk i felt so nuts it was indescribable.

Lets get married stops playing and strawberries and cigarettes (i think?) starts and it’s my turn to go in. so i just like bite the bullet and do it and the first words that escape my stupid mouth are “holy fucking shit” and taylor laughed (i cant) and hugged me and she was just so. calm . well obviously shes calm shes meeting a known moron there’s nothing to be nervous abou there this was practically charity work for her like she’ll be able to use meeting me as a tax write off next year. Really i was doing her a service.

But anyway we pull back from the hug and she’s smiling at me and i’m pretty sure i was shaking a bit like my voice definitely was shaking. And i was just like “oh my god. I love you.” klasfjasnjkf like i was incapable of speaking at that point so i think she thought that i was just going to freeze up and not say a single word but before she could fill the awkward silence i just...started talking and did not shut upas fjkasnfjkajkf. Like i was like “oh my god hi i want you to know that i could not have anticipated this happening any less like i received the dm from taylor nation confirming this about 4 hours ago there was nothign to prepare me for this i didn’t even do anything my friend liz made a post and she and jess reblogged it at like 2 am last night none of this makes any sense” and she was like “oh my god that’s so nice of them” which TEA IT ABSOLUTELY WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then she said “i’m so happy i finally get the chance to meet you then” which i’m sure she says to everyone but she’s so good at making you feel like she means it like she said that and it was like i had taken a xanax like i was so calm after that. Everyone says you calm down in her presence and i’ve never taken that seriously, but YOU REALLY DO….like shes just so calming she makes you feel like she’s your friend and that she genuinely wants to talk to you as if this is a casual occurrence.

So i say “i really love you like i have an older sister and she’s cool and all but you have always felt like you were my older sister like you’ve been a constant in my life for like a decade. I don’t even remember my life before i was obsessed with you which is probably indicative of a brain issue if i can’t remember my life before i was 11 but its true” and she LAUGHED and like genuinely laughed which made me feel so good. Like maybe she’s just the most talented actress alive but i really felt like she thought i was funny……..the………..and then as if i didnt get it from her laughing she called me funny which is disgusting. I’m doing my best to remember this conversation i like blacked out ajskfnsanf. I DIDNT EVEN TELL HER ANYTHING ABOUT MYSELF whcih is so funny to think about now and honestly im fine with bc my life is boring anyway. But anyway i had been debating requesting a song all day, but i was like fuck it the worst thing she can do is turn me down and call me stupid for asking. So i prefaced my request with: “taylor i know youre probably getting different requests from everyone you meet and i know you also probably alreayd have a song in mind for tonight which is totally fine it’s your concert you can do whatever you want my opinion doesn’t matter i’l love anything you do” and shes laughs and is like “whats the song” and i tell her forever and always. And shes like “OHHHHH oh my god i didnt even think of that song. i have a list of songs in my mind that i can play at each show and forever & always didn’t even cross my mind i dont know why. I’ll be honest i already have a song in mind for tonight i’m going to play fearless because it’s raining” and i was like “THATS SO GREAT i love that song it’s your concert it’s your show do whatever you want i love fearless fearless is my favorite album” and she was like “that’s such a good request i didn’t evne think about that song” and i started telling her how i love that song because it was like the song that really got me into her music bc i saw her talking about it on ellen and she literally interrupted me which was an honor and goes “OH MY GOD and it has the ‘it rains in your bedroom eveyrthing is wrong it rains when youre here and it rains when you’re gone’ line and its going to rain!!! oh my god that’s such a good song i love that song” and i said me too!! Also i’m her complimenting her own song god she’s so talented. She’s absolutely right it is SUCH a good song. And i said “well its raining again tomorrow and i’ll be there!!!” and she was like “but i was thinking about playing [song she didn’t play but i dont want to say--not to be purposefully evasive bc i know its annoying--but bc i dont want her to hate me for saying it publicly asjkfjkas and also bc if she does it at gillette i want to let it be a surprise :( i feel so annoying im sorry] tomorrow because a lot of people requested it” and i was like “I LOVE THAT SONG” and then said something about the song.

And then she said (again) that forever & always was a good request and then looked SO SORRY when she was like “i’m so sorry i’m probably not going to play that today or tomorrow because i already have songs in mind but i promise i’ll try to play it later even though you probably won’t be there :(” and i was like “NO ITS COMPLETELY FINE i loved all the songs you mentioned. I’d love any song that you played it’s your concert do whatever you want you don’t ever have to play it if you dont want to it’s your show you call the shots” and she was like “i love how you keep telling me i can do whatever i want it’s so thoughtful and supportive you’re so nice” LIKE SHE KEPT TELLING ME I WAS NICE THIS WHOLE TIME and i was like “WELL PEOPLE CAN BE DEMANDING” and she was like “YEAH THEY REALLY CAN BE THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT THEY’LL GET MAD AT ME OVER ANYTHING they’ll get mad at me if i play a song they don’t like or if i dont play a song they like-” and i was like “i know they’ll get mad at you for excluding so it goes and i’m just like guys its her concert let her live” and she laughed again and called me nice again like she kept saying i’m nice which seems so inconsequential tkjajfnjsa but it was so kind of her shes the best.

So at this point we had been there for a long ass time like it felt long and i was like “wait fuck i haven’t even introduced myself to you” and she was like “whats your name” and i said ariana and she goes “wait like air-iana or like are-iana” and i was like “i literally dont care you can call me whatever you want and i’ll respond” and she like laughed AGAIN and was like “youll just respond to anything huh. But seriously what is it” and i said my name again she was like “ariana. Cool.” bye and then she was like “well do you want to take a picture?” which is when i realized how long it had been and i was like “YEAH” and she just pulled me into a hug for a hugging picture which felt cute bc thats what i wanted to do anyway but she was probably just like god this girl has been in here for 8 years im not asking her what pose she wants to do can we please get going with this jskfnajafs but i didnt mind i was on cloud 9. So as shes hugging me i’m like “oh my god i’m going to blink in this picture and then i’ll have to die” and she was like “you wont blink i promise you wont blink she (the photog) will check to make sure” so we take the pic, the photographer tells me i’m good, and then taylor hugs me again and was like “it’s so nice to meet you” and i was like “it’s so nice to meet you too i didnt expect any of this. thank you so much for all of this i love you” and she huggged me again and called me nice again and then we said bye.

And then the taylor nation girl who was taking my picture (who i then gave all of my polaroids and my rep room pass to for her to hold before i went int asjkfnsafj) was like “here you go sweetie” and gave it to me and then told me to go back out and wait in the hall. And like idk why but once i left the photo area it was like every overwhelming emotion i had felt that entire day came rushing out like i just started crying silently like w tears streaming down my face. Asjkfnaskfjafkj. Like i dont cry so it was so bizarre. I didnt know what was happening. So then i was the only one out there bc i guess the first group had already been escorted out, so i was waiting for the rest of the people to be done and just crying. And then andrea was there so i said hi while crying and she came up to me and was like “hi honey how was it?!?!?” and i was like sarcastically like “oh it was okay ive had better days” and i dont think she knew i was joking at first like her face fell a bit before she realized i cant breahjtraefjs btu she was like “yeah its just a normal saturday for you no big deal” and then i asked her for a picture and she complied of course and i was like “im so sorry for crying idk why im crying” and she was like “its okay sweetie youve been through a lot today” which is honestly the most truthful thing ive ever heard in my life. And then i said “i raelly have” and she was like “this is a really amazing experience for you” and once again no lies detected but it was so funny that she said that about me MEETING HER DAUGHTER JKjkjskafjkfjska. And then i thanked her for raising taylor because i love her or something i cant breahfghasf and she was like “it was my pleasure she made it easy on me” and then finally i was escorted out and i was just crying.

Okay so now i just wanted to tahnk everyone who has been nice to me since saturday it means so so much like obviously i didnt think people would be MEAN TO ME but everyone has been soooooo nice i appreciate it a lot. And also like mayb this is controversial 2 say in this economy but i also want to say that all of the taylor nation people were so nice to me like i think everyones a bit hard on them at times like theyre just doing their jobs guys and it doesnt seem like an easy job sajkfnkjas considering they have to deal with how annoying some of us can be. And also i want to thank all of my friends, jess and liz in particular, bc like i didnt do anything obviously akjfanjksfj like this was all them and i love them so much like they were so happy for me it was equally as exciting to tell them as it was to actually meet taylro idk i just love them so much. IDK WHY IM TREATING THIS LIKE AN OSCARS ACCEPTANCE SPEECH but i obviously obviously i want to thank @taylorswift Idk if you saw my post and requested to meet me or if it was just a coincidence but it was honestly such an amazing experinece and you were so GOOD at talking i cant describe it but you were so calming and i really appreciated it. I feel like we dont appreciate all u do for us enough like youre just so kind and amazing i love you taylor swift i aint never gona stop loving you taylor swift. Idk this was so amazing and so unexpected and i still dont understand how any of this happened to me. THIS WAS CRAZY and it was just everything like everything u hear about meeting taylor is just so true…..shes just so good shes such a good person i want 2 cry………………

if u read all of this…..idk why youd do that but thank you and also im sorry for how long it was i just needed to write it all down for my own memory. Thank youuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt. 15

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

wow has it been A Week

i have two tests in a few hours and i have so many notes left and calc problems and i'm dying so have this!

there are two links in the chapter and i know you're probably like. why would i click those? i mean i wouldn’t trust me either, but i swear they're fine. ignore the first if you'd like, but if you don't click the second you're probably going to be fairly confused? you'll see what i mean

this is extra long because i'm feeling extra procrastinate-y

(sorting hat = nino, cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub = alya, dipshit = adrien, ahHHH = mari)

i'm off to fail. enjoy~

3:23

sorting hat: what the fuck was i thinking were french wed go to beauxbatons oh also @alya akuma attack

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: but thats bORING wait what fuCK WHEN I FINALLY DECID E 2 SLEPE

sorting hat: please dont leave the house im too tired

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: …. nino what the fuck is thsi akuma

sorting hat: why would i know???

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: bc i dont

sorting hat: love that 3 in the morning logic

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: all thats on the forums is pics of it stacking cars??????????? @hawkmoth wyd

sorting hat: being a dick probably

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ok tru oooo something new in the inbox of the ladyblog make ur bets now

sorting hat: i say random theory

dipshit: Fanart duh

sorting hat: bro!!! youre up!! <3

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: gm marshmallow my love

sorting hat: howd you wake up? did the akuma get close to your house and finally make noise or osmething?

dipshit: Oh I never went to bed

sorting hat: …

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: what the SHI T SLEEP BOI

dipshit: Trust me, I would’ve if I wanted to

sorting hat: mari is the only one of us with any sense

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: shes a smart one

dipshit: Yeah Anyway what’s in the inbox

sorting hat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VRr9NG7RE0

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: thank u bab much appreciated but also ur a nerd anyway its wait waht ths hit hlyk fucik

sorting hat: uhhhh alya you ok??

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i S HTIS  AK JOKE IMS TCARED TO CPIICK IT

dipshit: Well what is it??

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: IS T A FICKUING VIDOE WITH CHANT OIRS  FACE AS THE THUMBLNAIL FIFS:DKLFJ:SDLKFJQWIUE:C:KJGK:SJ

sorting hat: wait like like he shot it himself??

dipshit: That’s some dedication is it like mid-akuma fight or something

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ahhhHHH I DON TKNOW I HAVNE TWATCHED IT YET its itS THE M TEHY METION ME MOM HOL Y FCUK i can t;breakt h im oginna die nsow WAITN I NEDD TO POST

sorting hat: please dont die on us yo send me the link fam

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DINOSUAR SCREEEECH  

dipshit: Did you mean pterodactyl screech

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DO U THISNK I CAN SPELL THAT NR

dipshit: Honestly I didn’t even spell it right I had to use spellcheck

sorting hat: smh fake fan i bet you cant even name ten dinosaurs

dipshit: Do you want me to try???

sorting hat: no no i do not not right now maybe after school

dipshit: Does spelling count

sorting hat: yup scientific names only too bro no long neck bullshit

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ladyblog.tumblr.com/post/324367743289/update-from-the-favs ICAHT STOP YELLING IM SO GETITN G INTORUBLE FOR BEIGS O LOUD BUT HOLY SHI T

sorting hat: dang they look exhaust ed and that akuma really is just stacking cars

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i need a flashing gif thatj us tsays LADYNOIR IS CANON

sorting hat: bro thi s is so accurate to staying up until 3 am tho

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: HE CALLED HER PERFEC T

dipshit: Missed pun opportunity Could’ve said purrfect

sorting hat: im kicking you out

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: MARHSMALLOW I LIVOE U also i think theyr right about it being a kid

sorting hat: but like lb said its really late

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i mean tru

sorting hat: it looks like theyre building a castel or somethng

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: a fortress!!!

sorting hat: yeah!!!

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: to protect them from d r a g o n s or scary things

sorting hat: yo it couldve just been a kid with a nightmare if you by that

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: god whne the girls have a nightmare its ROUGH sometiems nothing will get them back to bed cant blame them i mean one of  the things that helps them is drwing nightmares fuk i woudlnt want to go back to sleep either

dipshit: The akumas building a fortress huh?

sorting hat: idk man we arent talking to the akuma ask chat

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh yeah no that failed

sorting hat: ????

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: he tried to talk to them and they just like picked him up and threw him away some1 submitted a video rip chat noir

dipshit: Sounds painful

sorting hat: rip in pepperoni anyway if you look at the akuma theyre sorta dressed up ya know

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i wanna say ur projecting the castle thing but ur right that thing in their hair looks like a crown

dipshit: Huh you’re right

sorting hat: man i need to sleep akumas are bullshit

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i just watche dthe video for the sixth itm e im gnna memorize it

sorting hat: babe please if youre gonna memorize something you should wait for a better vidoe

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DO U THINK THEYLLY SEND A NOTHER

sorting hat: idk why not they sent thsi one

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT FAM oh snap here come the amgic ladybugs there the y go ayyyy

sorting hat: sleep

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ok godo plan see u in a few hours 2 cry

PM between dipshit and ahHHH

ahHHH: I cannot bleieve you used our friends to stop an akuma

dipshit: Can you please let me live

ahHHH: I cant believe you sent taht video to alya

dipshit: Did you see how happy she was?????

ahHHH: Oh my god Im going to bed Please actually sleep???

dipshit: Uhh No promises but I’ll try my best

ahHHH: You better Night kittne

dipshit: See you in a few hours Night bugaboo

7:58 in hogwarts house discourse

sorting hat: i want to die

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub has changed their name to ladynoir keeps me living

ladynoir keeps me living renamed this conversation to “life is meaningless”.

dipshit: Optimistic

ahHHH: Fuck m y life and efverythign in it

  16:03

ladynoir keeps me living has renamed this conversation to “what the fUCK”.

ladynoir keeps me living: what the fuc k what thif cuk what teh kcuk WHAT THE ICUK NINO

sorting hat: babe im standing right next to you im processing gimme a fucking second

ladynoir keeps me living: ... 

sorting hat: ok i had a second what

ladynoir keeps me living: whaT ETH FCUK YOU TWO REPSOND YOU FUCKERS BOLTED WHAT HTE UC K

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ladynoir keeps me living: MARINETTE DUPAIN CHENG WHAT THE FUC K MARI!!!!!!!!!!! ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and dipshit

ladynoir keeps me living: answer uR GODDAMN PHON E I M GODING HUNT U DOWN I F U DONT RESPJNOD  

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: did i just see what i htink i saw correction did alya and i see what we think i saw bro adrien agreste are you here hellllooooooo shit dude

PM between sorting hat and ahHHH

sorting hat: dude dude what was that how long has that been a thing broski marinette goddammit guys

PM between ahHHH and dipshit

dipshit: Uh I’m really sorry about that It just Happened

ahHHH: Its fine Youre fine Its fine Were all fine

dipshit: Are they…?

ahHHH: Yup I have So many messages Oh my go d

dipshit: I’m so sorry

ahHHH: Its both our faults or something

dipshit: You want Alya or Nino

ahHHH: Uh lets do this the simplest way you go nino i go alya Good luck

dipshit: Same to you

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: What

ladynoir keeps me living: ok deep breaths do not what me i saw that nino saw that you lived it

ahHHH: lived what

ladynoir keeps me living: U JUST KISSED ADRIEN AGREST E

ahHHH: um

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

dipshit: Hey Nino What’s up

sorting hat: ha ha very funny alyas having a cow but seriously did you and marinette kiss

dipshit: Uhh I mean yes Yes we did There was lip touching going on there It was an accident

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: It was an accident!!!!

ladynoir keeps me living: an aCCIDENT

ahHHH: Were both really tired and we were standing next to each otehr and idont know what happened

ladynoir keeps me living: what did u fall asleep on each others lips or something?!??!??!?!?!? accident?!??????

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: an accident

dipshit: I kind of Wasn’t thinking

sorting hat: really fucknig smooth bro

dipshit: Sue me

sorting hat: no thank s are you two dating now or?

dipshit: No we’re not

sorting hat: but you like marinette before you say no please know i just saw you lock lips and i also am your best friend and also have eyes

dipshit: Ok yes I like her

sorting hat: so are you gonna ask her out

dipshit: Uhh ... ...no I don’t think so

sorting hat: bruh why not??

dipshit: It’s complicated

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ladynoir keeps me living: i hate both of u ur actuallt he worst

ahHHH: Im sorry???

ladynoir keeps me living: MAKE OUT ALREADY

ahHHH: Alya stop!!!!! We arent dating or anyhting

ladynoir keeps me going: what hte fUCK why not!!!!! u kissed!!! u 2 talk all the time u make each other laugh u spend a ton of time together u like each other ur dating

ahHHH: Al Im not dating adrien!!!

ladynoir keeps me going: ok fine but u could

ahHHH: By that logic I could also be dating you and nino

ladynoir keeps me going: yes yes u could be

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: complicated??? what about it is complicated?????? you like her she likes you if you havent figured that out by now i dont know what to tell you dude other than maybe all that homeschooling made you worse at social interaction than we thought cause its freaking obvious man like really really obvious

dipshit: It really is complicated, I swear

sorting hat: what?? do you like someone else too or something?

dipshit: Yeah Actually I do

sorting hat: who? ladybug still?? i mean same ladybug is fucking awesome and ive been in a room with teh two of you chemistry and awkwardness but like dont take this the wrong way dude but what are your chances? im not gonna pull an alya and say lb and cn are a thing but how well would dating a superhero really work out? you like mari mari likes you youve already kissed once you guys are so close already might as well just change the relationship status on facebook you know? adrien? ok well think on it dude ill be here if you wanna talk

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: Its not that simple

ladynoir keeps me living: yes it is? do u like him? yes does he like u? yes did u like kissing him? im gonna guess yes is it the asking out part ur scared of cause i can totally bug him into asking u out first

ahHHH: No its not that its just I Its kinda complicated

ladynoir keeps me living: ??????

ahHHH: I cant really

ladynoir keeps me living: mari u ok?? do u need me to come over cause i can

ahHHH: No its ok Im fine

ladynoir keeps me living: did adrien do smth do i need to beat him up

ahHHH: No! No its not him Adrien is perfect

ladynoir keeps me living: sap

ahHHH: Just Give me a minute Ok?

ladynoir keeps me living: ill wait for u to text first

ahHHH: Thanks

PM between dipshit and ahHHH

dipshit: So

ahHHH: So

dipshit: That happened

ahHHH: Yup

dipshit: Nino asked if we were dating

ahHHH: Alya did too

dipshit: Mari I like you a lot

ahHHH: And I really like you too But theres a but right?

dipshit: Yeah You too?

ahHHH: Yeah

dipshit: I think we should just Wait? A little bit?

ahHHH: I was thinking the same thing Not necessarily a long time just Some Time

dipshit: Exactly I mean I’ve been in love with you for months honestly But there’s…

ahHHH: Same here I’ve had a huge embarrassing crush on you since the beginning of the year

dipshit: Glad we’re the same level of awkward and embarrassing

ahHHH: That wasnt our first kiss By the way Just Thought you should Probably know at this point

dipshit: Wait what?

ahHHH: Dark Cupid? You um I needed to break his hold on you and I remembered class and there had been something about a kis sbreaking a spell so Yeah You didnt remember so I didnt say anything Maybe I shouldve I jsut felt Really awkward about it??? Sorry

dipshit: Oh Um

ahHHH: IM REALLY REALLY SORRY

dipshit: It’s fine!!! Really it’s fine It sounds like it’d be awkward to bring up But thanks for telling me I appreciate it

ahHHH: Of course Um Im gonna do some homeowrk so I can go to bed early tonight Hopefully Hawkmoth will leave us alone

dipshit: Oh god I hope so I can’t do another late night That was terrible

ahHHH: That video was awful But it was fun You might sway me on this social media thing yet kitty

dipshit: :3c

ahHHH: Youre the w o r s t

dipshit: I know Let me know if you have any problems with chem or physics I did the homework while she was going over the stuff from yesterday

ahHHH: Its unfair how smart you are

dipshit: Promise you’ll ask for help??

ahHHH: Yeah I promise Dont you have piano today?

dipshit: Yup and I should probably go get ready for that Good luck my lady

ahHHH: You too kitten

[0225pm]

good morning! it's currently 9:18AM and i'm so damn beat i want to ko already but i'm pooping rn hence i've decided to post something!!!! soOoOoo because i'm an overly attached gf who needs attention like 24/7 i actually went down all the way to han's place because i missed him hahahahahaha like, initially i was contemplating about it because....... 1, i was afraid that he might have fallen asleep 2, he might not be able to leave the house at such timing 3, he might get mad at me for troubling myself before traveling to his place, dayah wanted to meet up after her shift ended for supper and since i haven't really had anything for dinner i thought it was a good idea to fill my tummy first. so i met her at our usual haunt (the mcds near our place) and asked her for some advice about whether i should go over to his place or not. she was rather against it since it was already really late (about 12ish by the time we reached mcds) and even if we're to uber or grab down it will be really really late and she was kinda worried about my wellbeing since his area is rather quiet with little to zero human traffic at such a late timing unlike our area - we have quite a fair bit of shops that are open 24/7. she also said i must be so obsessed with han to the point that i'm willing to travel all the way there so late which tbh is true la hahaha honestly i don't mind traveling anywhere he is, except maybe if i have to buy a plane ticket or smth la bc your girl is broke (；▽；) but anyway i ended up saying fuck it and just decided to go je because i'm gonna make "go je" one of my life mottos now (half kidding about this bc i'm still a coward and i'm forever thinking about the "what ifs"). and booked an uber around 1:45AM almost 2 i guess!! it was considerably cheap!!!! like $9 for the ride after discount. and wah u know how hard it was to try and surprise han HAHAHAHA i was trying to lie my way through to not make him suspicious of me by asking him to play ml together (another tactic to keep him busy so he won't fall asleep!) and then he got a lil mad bc i kept asking him to wait and wait so he played like i think 3 rounds of brawl while waiting for me to come online hahahaha but hoho little did he know!!! during the last round i told him to lemme know when his game was ending and when he finally texted me, i immediately called him and then asked him if he can come out. i'm not sure if he was taken aback bc he said no at first so i asked if his parents were asleep already and he said no LMAO i was soOo shocked but i didn't rly feel disappointed bc i know that was one of the possibility of him not being able leave the house and i actually brought along some things to keep me busy while i wait (my drawing stuff and a book i'm currently reading). then he asked me come out where? if go out he won't able to so i told him to just come down then cus i'm here and he was like "ok u wait there" AND TADA!!!!! my surprise visit was a success???!?!!!?! he asked me what i was doing there while grabbing me into a tight embrace hehehehe he looked genuinely happy and i'm happy too!!!!! he even brushed his teeth (i could smell the mint) before he left the house so that his "breath won't stink" quoted bc that's what he said hahaha lmao so cute rly!!! oh how i've missed him :') 3-4 days felt so longgGgGgg uGhhH and then we walked towards 7-11 cus i told him my breath prolly stinks since i just had macs so i wanted to get some candies to mask the grossness of the spicy nuggets i had hahahaha but he wasn't even bothered and leaned in for a kiss haisSSssssSss i spent a fortune (ok not rly) at 7-11 man like from just wanting to get candies, i ended up getting all sorts of things - a drink, ice cream, an onigiri. the amount u pay for convenience sake :') and then we decide to sit around mccafe and played a round of ml which we lost bc he didn't realised that his data was all out *rolls eyes* HAHAHAHA and then bc we were trying to conserve both our phones battery lives, we decided to stop playing and that was when i could really look at his face sighHh idk how he can look so good all the time wtf meanwhile i look like a kentang (this is true i have gained the weight i lost hahahha but good la this shows that i'm happy right) and then he went on and said "now dunno what to do right cus cannot play ml alr" and i was like nahHhh it's fine and then he looked at me and went all "is it you bored?" and i shook my head hahahah yallllllll idk about him but i don't think there will ever be a time that i will feel bored just looking at his face and basking his in presence sia like i can't get enough hahaha and then he took my phone and went through my camera roll of junk (i have 12k over photos) so i asked him for the password to his phone and he just went like this ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (damn taik rly) so i kept asking again and again and he just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯!!!! and finally said "theres some past stuff i haven't deleted yet not bc i want to keep them for memories but bc i'm lazy and idw u to see them there since it's not deleted" and i was like???? why?????? didn't u delete them???? then????? then he wanted to unlock his phone for me to let me see but i was like nah u kno what i'm not gonna get my feelings hurt bc maybe there are intimate photos inside too so i rather not look at them and he was like "no there's no intimate photos la" but it was like it's ok!!! :) and then i snatched my phone back from him since i felt like it was kinda unfair that he could see all the photos i have with no secrecy. but then he took his phone and went on a "deletion mode" clearing unwanted photos in his phone while showing me photos he had of me in his gallery!!!! i looked so!!! cute wtf HAHAHAHA like there was a few photos where i actually think i look quite cute and which i've never seen before bc he didn't send it to me wah damn selfish keep for himself HAHAHA JKJK but ya most of them were during my blonde/silver hair days tho sighhhh i rly miss having light colored hair tbvvvvh :( and then he gave me the password to his phone!!!!! wowowoow i never knew that such a day would come (no i'm not being loyar buruk ok hahahaahah) and gave me the freedom to look through his phone (but i never did actually hahaahha bc i was busy scrolling thru my 12k worth of photos instead wth i missed my chance!!!!) even when he went outside for a smoke and left his phone with me i didn't even look through his gallery wth so dumb i could have sent the photos to myself!! but ok ya then i wanted to pee so i asked him to accompany me (bc the toilet is the one at the food court and even though it's relatively clean, the atmosphere was still quiet since it was only around 4+AM in the morning). then we walked back to his place and sat at the void deck - he told me stories about his encik at the station and showed me a few diss track videos between some youtubers and this one really cool short stories videos of which i've forgotten the name of, i will have to ask him later!! and then around 630-7AM i decided to leave the place and instead of taking grab or uber back home i insisted on taking the train and bus bc i wanted to listen to an updated playlist of music that i had synced earlier on BUT LOL WTF apparently ZERO music got synced into the phone and my journey was kinda half shitty bc i thought that i can finally listen to some new tracks but i ended up just listening to the 200+ old music in my phone. not that they're bad music but it has been about 3 months since i last updated my playlist so i've been listening to the same old tracks for quite some time already. but anyway!!!! i still had a great time bc at least i managed to see han today ^^ i guess it's something to get me through the rest of the day and till tomorrow's shift. ok this took like rly long to write and i'm actually done pooping. time check: 10:09AM!! i'm gonna shower and remove my makeup before hitting the hay!