#idk maybe im just weird myself but it just tickles my brain

[bottomless-brainrot]

One thing i will never get over with Saltburn is the little details.

Oliver going through the house naked following the same route that Felix guided him through when he first visited…

The camera work with that scene for Felix panning to the right constantly as he explains the different ‘landmarks’ for Oliver to remember his way around the house… but with Oliver’s scene the camera is constantly going to the left as it follows him dancing through the halls.

How quickly the camera follows Felix in the moment, almost too eager to keep him in the line of sight… but for Oliver its slower and uncaring that it lags behind him or that it gets Ollie out of frame from time to time.

( gif visual )

the writer in me has two things in mind:

it could be the house itself, reluctant to become a home for this new invader but cannot ignore him.

or its Felix’s ghost. His soul having not passed on just stalks the halls trying to make Oliver uneasy and afraid just as he felt the night he died, but Oliver kinda just revels in the attention like a freak.

[theyarebothgunshot]

ROSE I AM FREAKING OUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE PREQUEL STUFF???? WHAT IS GOING ON, my god... I was literally about to go to sleep, decided to check Tumblr one last time and see this.... what WHAT!! WHATTTT!!!!!! I don't even know if this is good bad or what but just JENSEN IS PRODUCING A SUPERNATURAL PREQUEL AND DEAN'S GONNA BE THE NARRATOR OR Sth LIKE???? -🐸

YEAH i am normal about this <3 (jk i am also freaking out) welcome to: people screaming to me in my inbox about prequelgate ft. j/2 fallout theory. let's goooo!

Another copypasta and suddenly chaos machine is full on gay I love this prophecy

you know whats funny i just checked the j/2 tag and i feel like for the first time in a long time they are starting to realise that maybe THEY should be the ones who are "gutted" *sips tea*

ROSE HOLY SHIT ROOOOOOOOSE ITS HAPPENING HOLY SHIIIIIT

YEAH

Nevermind just read prequel and well good luck I guess but just you know kind of bleh who wants to watch John Winchester well let’s have hope anyways

i know a lot of people are bummed out but i am kind of very excited actually?? i trust robbie and even though yeah j*hn winchester turned into a nasty abusive bastard, it can be interesting to explore how it all started (imo). it's just the first of many stories they can tell.

I can only accept this circus if it’s Dean telling the stories to his and Cas’ kids and then we have a revival to show that the whole finale was in fact the end Chuck wanted there Jensen I fixed it

i would not say no to this

heyloo bee anon here

um- wtf is happening?

jackles prequel series?? why? i want to be excited about this but sheesh im scared

because supernatural is never dead <3

okay, but, jensen... john winchester ≠ jdm, you don’t have to go /that/ hard for him 🙃

true true... though i am waiting for jdm to comment on this, please i need it

WAIT A SECOND J2 FALLOUT THEORY TRUE??

LMAO HELL YEAH BESTIE

Rose you really picked the worst time to sleep for real

bestie it was literally 4 in the morning, what do you expect from me sdfjsfhsf

I can’t literally can’t we were all right LMAO j2 fallout theory is real and cockles (Misha supporting Jensen) is [gunshots] I’m just laughing cause what the hell is this timeline we’re living LMAOOOOOOOOOO

we would always end up here <3

Do we have the copypaste anons to thank for JP basically confirming the J2 fallout? lol 🦚

yes, everybody say 'thanks annoying idiots!'

ROSE, WAKE UP, COME HERE,

THERE'S A LOT GOING ON FFS

YEAH I KNOW BUT I NEEDED SLEEP

Anticipating that there's going to be a lot of yelling about the prequel on here: I am cackling, but also, I mean, the first time Dean got a look into his parent's past, Cas was the catalyst: literally entered Dean's mind and catapulted him to the 70s. So idk, it's not completely unreasonable to expect some Cas cameos, maybe setting up a parallel timeline since Dean is narrating. What I'm saying is, this is Jackles, he's getting JDM and Misha in on this lmao -Honeymoon Anon

you were right lmfaooo also i fully agree. misha's tweet further cemented that thought for me. he knew about this prequel and i dont think he is cas-baiting us, i think he'll be involved. i'd also be obsessed to see jensen and jdm act together again (though idk who jdm could play seeing as it's a prequel and he is way too old to play young j*hn)

longlivethetribbles heeft gevraagd:

Heyyyyyy bestie, are you SEEING the absolute madness going on right now holy shit

well a little late but I SURE AM BESTIE

bestie wake up pls s16 finale just dropped.

- 🍯

and WHAT a great one it was

I love coming home from work to see all of the chaos unfolding on Tumblr and Twitter. I'm absolutely buzzing right now. I'll probably still be here by the time you wake up and check tumblr 😂 - 🐢

lmaooo and were you still awake?? did you see my freak out??

Oooh bestie wake the fuck up, I know you’re gonna be excited for this one jsnsjsj

god i had SUCH a morning like. it's 12:00 now and all i did since i woke up is check tumblr rip

short summary: jen and dee gain the rights, they post on ig/twitter about a prequel ft john and mary that no one asked for, the fandom loses its everloving shit as usual, they trend on twitter thanks to the beloved twt intern who missed us, misha qt’s jen about cas possibly benefiting from being in the prequel, then j*red qt’s jensen abt how his feelings got hurt by him not being told about a prequel his character as no involvement in & he initially throws a tantrum, and the rest is history - 🦋 anon (ps: i hope this helps a little, i’ve been scattered brained trying to keep up with it all night lmao so pls let me know if i missed anything, bug crew !!)

thank you so much darling i figured it out eventually but this is a helpful summary!!!

I hope you enjoyed waking up to all of this XD -🐢

i sure did!!! also that answers my question about you being awake lmao

I WILL NEVER EVER EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR SLEEPING THROUGH ALL OF THIS DRAMA AND NOT EXPERIENCING IT IN PERSON I DIDN'T NEED THIS SLEEP - tea anon

well the party was still going strong this morning so im not TOO "gutted" see what i did there lmaooo

Now that you are caught up with the news... So idk if you remember this but...didn't jarpad tell jackles he was up for a reboot in an online panel? And jackles answered that this was news to him??

-🍯

yeah i think you are right but he was clearly joking and didnt expect jackles to actually be working on something already

J2 anon spare more of those anons let's finish this - tea anon

please, we're having a ball in this bitch

I saw a post on tumblr where someone said now that Kripke gave J&D the rights, maybe they’re starting with a prequel just to end on a reboot in years time and honestly ? I wanna believe that so badly. This is tinhatty but what if this is all calculated in a way that makes it so that Jensen is slowly starting to fix everything that was wrong with spn - now that he has the rights and he’s slowly making spn his own story ?! I mean he did say in his ig post he wants to ‘fill in the rest’ - and maybe Mary and John’s story is only the beginning of spn related content from J&D to come ??? Maybe he wants to give spn the justice it deserves ?? Thoughts ??

i dont think this is tinhatty at all i think this is very possible and not that much of a reach. i could see this happening yeah for sure

want to hear something funny. I found out I had a ruptured blood vessel in my eye because I was sending my friend a video freaking out when the prequel news dropped and I noticed the corner of my eye was red af. and when I got back online jared had tweeted.

DJFHSJD ANON THE CHAOS OF IT ALL, HELP, are you okay? <3

rose.. bestie... how are you feeling about The News? nsfshsf being european is a curse </3 🐞

i feel GREAT im living for it i feel on top of the world tbh (and yeah it really is dsjfhs)

What am I waking up to I can't WHAT I rested my eyes for like 5 minutes help *hits reblog button* - anon anon

yep yep essentially djfhs

“Jensen and Misha are Co workers who barley talk”

I can’t be sure of course but I’m fairly certain that this is the copypasta that brought the j/2 fallout theory back to life. Who’s apparently ‘barely talking’ now? skansjsjsj. It’s almost prophetic, these j/2 anons have superpowers I’m telling ya.

-poker face anon

next time we get one of them we should be thanking them lmaooo

ok, but are we gonna talk about the "When Daneel and I formed Chaos Machine Productions, we knew that the first story we wanted to tell was the story of John and Mary Winchester [...]"-quote because the way this is phrased implies they formed CHAOS MACHINE Productions with the intent of telling this story (first), i haven't been in this dumpster long enough but the name just tickles me in that Misha way, isn't it so sus??? am i missing something???? i mean with this announcement they SURE lived up to that name... 🧩-anon

you are absolutely right, chaos machine SCREAMS misha and we are all here for it!!

hey hey hey. joining the clownverse, there's no way THEE cas girl danneel doesn't know just how much the fandom loves misha and cas. so 2 + 2 = misha in the spn prequel!

AGREED

So I think I finally managed to catch up on wtf happened while I was asleep and my brain melted. What a shit show to wake up to.

Anyway thoughts.

I don't hate the idea of a Mary&John sequel. I think it has the potential to be good (It has the potential to be really bad too, so I'm kind scared).

🕯️🕯️🕯️ manifesting Mary being badass and John being kinda useless🕯️🕯️🕯️

As for the Jensen and J*red thing.

I can see Jensen not telling J*red even if they are still friends, because J*red is kinda good at accidentally telling Secrets. He could have told him right before he announced it so, so that J*red didn't have to find out from twitter. He was on the show for 15 years, he is bound to get asked about it. The public twitter meltdown was really unprofessional so. Like you have Jensen's number J*red. You could have sorted that out in private like a normal person, but instead you choose to act like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Is it weird that I'm actually going to be kinda that for them if the actually had a falling out, even tho I don't like J*red all that much. They seemed to be really important to each other and while I thought before that the might have triefted apart a bit, I didn't think that the where actively fighting.

- 🐌 anon

the thing is, the polite/normal thing for jensen to do was text him before announcing it on twitter. it's weird he didn't, and that makes me believe that maybe yeah they did have a falling out. especially with the way j*red responded to it on twitter. if he had no other reason to be this upset (no prior beef or falling out) you'd think that he wouldn't be responding like this. on the other hand, the man is a mysterie to me so who the hell knows. i'm not gonna mourn about it if they did/do grow apart because j*red is just.... awful imo.

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 46

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.4k // 4.7k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: sex was vanilla but i liked it idk lol! i know the Horan & Rose event was in may i just changed it a bit for the story and pushed it to july. this goes downhill from here, sorry :X

PLEASE, i would love to know what you think about Louis and Olivia’s relationship/friendship or what you want to happen or expect to happen to them. he’ll be a LOT more present in the next few chapters so i really need to know.

requests for this chapter! (i suggest you dont read them if you dont want spoilers for this chapter)

Chapter 46 : His chapter

NIALL

After the evening at karaoke, we jumped in my car and drove away. I kept glancing at her, enjoying the large smile on her face and somehow, it made me happy just to see her happy. I watched her hair dance around her face from the wind coming from her window and she moved her purple and pink heart-shaped sunglasses down on her nose, making me smile more.

"No one wear those unironically, by the way." I pointed out just to tease her.

"I do!"

"And it's dark outside." I added, raising my eyebrows.

"I wear them for the style."

She turned to me and sent me a huge smile, making me chuckle and shake my head. I had a hard time to admit it to myself but i was happy with her and I wanted to spend every single minute of my free time with her. The fact that it was mostly what I used to do before we started dating hit me and It made me think of what Louis had said when we met at the bar right after Liv told me how she felt. The only things that really changed was holding hands and having sex... and everything else.

"So where are you taking me?" she asked, moving the window up as we got on the highway.

"You'll see."

"More or less romantic than the gift you gave me this morning?"

I laughed again and licked my lips, glancing at her.

"Cheesier than romantic." I let out after a while.

"Am I gonna like it?"

"Definitely."

The rest of the ride was short enough and when I parked, she started laughing before turning to me again. I loved the way her eyes shined and realizing that I wanted to spend the night cuddling her more than spending it shagging it proved me that I was in it very very deep. I held my breath at the thought and swallowed. She didn't notice and just chuckled before getting out of the car to reach the door. I blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the scary thoughts running in my head, and finally followed her, my eyes roaming on the lodge Harry had rented a few months ago. She stopped in front of the door and stared at me as I unlocked the door and finally pushed on it. Instead to walk in, she waited until I turned to look at her and sent me a fond smile.

"Why did you bring me here, Niall?" she asked in a low tone, tilting her head slightly on the side.

"I know we had fun here, thought it'd be cool to rent it again, spend a few days, just you and I this time." I shrugged as I watched her raise her eyebrows.

I sighed and raised my nose up before shaking my head.

"I just thought we had a few weird memories together here and maybe I want to change them. Maybe I want to make love to you in every damn room and watch the fucking stars all night laying  outside in the backyard. With food and wine and a stupid fire." I stared at her a few seconds and sighed again. "I love you, I just want to make you happy."

Her lips curled more and she moved closer to me quickly, getting on her tiptoes and cupping my face. I closed my eyes when her lips pressed against mine and felt one of her hands slip in my hair. I remained motionless until she got back down on her feet but she didn't say a word. She walked inside and I just followed her, closing the door behind us.

I watched her as she took her sunglasses off and put them on the kitchen's table as a bunch of memories rushed to my brain. It was only a few months ago but it felt like it's been forever and watching her in this kitchen again made something in my stomach twist. I got out of my thoughts when I realized she had taken her shirt off and was doing the same thing with her pants but I decided not to move to just enjoy the view.

"The first thing we did when we got here was to jump in the pool in our underwear." she pointed out, taking a step my way and leaving her clothes on the floor. "I had kept my shirt but not today. You were only in your boxers though."

"Oh you remember that?"

"Clearly and vividly." she added, making me smirk. "I remember masturbating to that sight."

The memory of catching her masturbating came to my mind and I felt my whole body throb. I tried to push it away but the next memory that came to my mind was when I woke up in the middle of the night and saw Harry and her completely naked and wet on the side of that same pool and it made me hold my breath. I didn't want to tell her I saw them simply because I didn't want to talk about the relationship she had with him. All I wanted was to spend time with her. Maybe I shouldn't have brought her here, maybe it was a bad idea and maybe i'd spend my time remembering her with Harry but I would try not to.

It was not like me to think about that kind of things or be jealous about ex lovers but when it came to Olivia, I barely recognized myself and it wasn't new. All the weird reactions I had had here when we spent the weekend with our friends were the proofs that even before we started dating, I had reactions that really didn't fit with my personality.

"Come on." she added with a head movement. "Let's go."

I noticed she had placed her arms around herself, hiding her stomach and I wanted to tell her not to do that but she left too quickly and I watched her get in the pool slowly before taking my shirt and pants off too and leaving my shoes and socks by the door.

Instead to walk down the stairs to join her, I decided to just throw myself in the water. When I came out, I smiled at her as she pushed her wet hair away from her face.

"You think you're funny mm?" she asked as I tried to move closer to her.

"I'm hilarious." I let out, making her chuckle.

"Admit it." she started as I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer. "The cheesy thing you had planned was to watch the stars."

"Oh congrats, such a clever girl, pretty sure I mentioned that only a few minutes ago." I joked, rolling my eyes with a smile.

"The lodge was just an excuse. You could as well have brought me camping."

This time I grimaced and her laughter came to my ears in a sweet melody. I didn't want to stress about the future, I was a man of the moment and that's all I wanted to focus on. I knew these doubts and questions would come back eventually, they always seem to, but not today.

"I almost did, I admit." I finally said. "Because i do want to watch the stars with you until morning. But i'm not against a good and warm shower tomorrow."

She laughed and my amused smile turned into a fond one and she smiled back before to move her chin up. The sky was dark and when I glanced up too, I noticed the incredible amount of stars shining from the sky. Her lips curled more and I licked my lips as she was staring up.

"I just want you to have a perfect birthday."

It took her a few seconds but slowly, she looked back down and her eyes found mine.

"It is, Niall." she whispered, bringing both her hands on my cheeks. "It's perfect."

                                                   ---

I knew that only using a blanket wouldn't be comfortable so I brought a small mattress and a few cushions outside, near the campfire. It took me a bit too long to actually start a fire but when I finally succeeded, I sat with my knees up and my legs spread and it only took a second for her to move between them. I wrapped my arms around her and she leaned her head back on my shoulder, her gaze once again turned up to the sky. Her hair was still damp and a shiver crossed her body as she shook against mine. It only made me hold her tighter and she sighed again, a cute smile gracing her face.

"I just want this forever." she let out in a low tone as I felt her hand on one of my thighs. "You and me together and nothing else."

I remained silent but held my breath without really realizing it. I could feel the warmth of her body on mine, I could feel her hair tickling gently my neck, I could smell her shampoo, the mix of honey and vanilla invading me... and I wanted to tell her that it's what I had planned, too. I wanted to tell her that spending my life with her was not scaring me, that it was exciting me, making me impatient and overjoyed... but I remained silent. I didn't know how it make me feel other than fear and some bad stomach twisting.

"Do you remember how we always used to get on top of my roof and watch the stars?" she finally wondered in a sweet tone.

I felt her hand squeeze my arm gently and I smiled at the memories.

"I do."

"And sometimes you'd bring your guitar and play for me." she added quickly.

"I brought it." I let out, staring at the flames of the fire near us. "And there's a song I want to sing to you."

She moved in my arms and turned slightly to look at me better. After a while, I gave in and looked at her, my eyes roaming on her face. I hadn't really planned to play her my new song, I thought i'd wait until it was finished, but at that exact moment, I really wanted her to hear it. I wanted to bring her into the process of my writing and my music and I was not sure why.

"Go get your guitar!" she urged me with a smile, her eyebrows raised.

I chuckled and quickly got up, running to the car to get it and grabbed the sweater I left on the backseat at the same time. When I came back, she was laying down, her arms under her head staring up at the stars. I stayed motionless a few seconds just looking at her and when she noticed me, her lips curled more and she sat up, turning my way. I handed her my sweater as I sat in front of her and she thanked me before putting it on. I had this fascination with her wearing my clothes and I bit my bottom lip for a few seconds before clearing my throat and letting my fingers run on the strings.

"Okay tell me everything." she asked, moving her legs up and wrapping her arms around her knees. "What's the song about? Are you thinking about a solo career?"

"Maybe." I asked, raising my eyebrows, a bit unsure of her reaction. "What would you say?"

"I'd say you're the most talented person I've ever met and that you should totally go for it."

I chuckled, raising my nose up. "You're a bit biased."

"I'm not." she shrugged, leaning her chin on one of her knees. "I can recognize talent when I see it. You just also happen to be my best friend and the love of my life."

She shrugged again and I smiled more before nodding.

"The song is about you, but also not really." I tried to explain as she frowned. "It's a concept song, but I also wrote it thinking about you and how... i'd feel without you."

She stared at me a few minutes and tilted her head, squinting a bit before licking her lips. I knew she was curious and I knew my words didn't really make sense but after a while, she pressed her lips together and nodded.

"You know, you don't have to write about me." she pointed out in a low tine. "I don't want you to feel like you have to write songs about me if you don't feel like it."

I felt my heart melt a bit at her words and bent closer to her, raising my eyebrows.

"I want to." I let out just as low. "I have to. I can't help it."

She ended up nodding again after a while and I tried to focus on my fingers as I started singing.

"Waking up to kiss you and nobody's there The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air It's hard

Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running 'round It's funny how things never change in this old town So far From the stars

And I want to tell you everything The words I never got to say the first time around And I remember everything From when we were the children playing in this fairground Wish I was there with you now

If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you Drive highways and byways to be there with you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you Mmmmm

I saw that you moved on with someone new In the pub that we met he's got his arms around you It's so hard So hard

And I want to tell you everything The words I never got to say the first time around And I remember everything From when we were the children playing in this fairground Wish I was there with you now

'Cause if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you Drive highways and byways to be there with you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you

You still make me nervous when you walk in the room Them butterflies—they come alive when I'm next to you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you

And I know that it's wrong That I can't move on But there's something 'bout you

'Cause if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you Drive highways and byways to be there with you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you

You still make me nervous when you walk in the room Them butterflies—they come alive when I'm next to you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you Mmmm Everything comes back to you Mmmm"

When I ended the song, all I could hear was the thumping of my heart against my chest. I looked at her and she looked back at me in a way I couldn't decipher. I hadn't realized before this exact moment how desperate I was for her approval and how much her opinion meant to me. She let go of her knees and crossed her legs. Her hands were hidden in the sleeves of my sweater that she was wearing and she glanced down before quickly looking up in my eyes, licking her lips.

"Which parts are about me?"

I hadn't expected this question and instead to enumerate all the parts of the song that I wrote thinking about her, I let out the only thing that felt completely true to me.

"'Everything comes back to you,'"

Her traits softened and she sent me a small smile, blinking a few times.

"I'll never leave you, I hope you know that. I'll never find someone new. It was always you, Niall, and it will always be you."

                                                 -----

Most of july had been quite warm and now that it was almost over, I tried to enjoy it as much as I could. I was about to get into recording a few songs, working on an album and promoting it. Still, I had wanted to work on the Horan and Rose event even if I knew I was about to be very busy. For the very first time, I had brought Olivia as my official date, which was not something very usual for me or for her, but I had insisted a bit and she had given in.

It was late when we got back and maybe we had drank a bit more than intended but still not enough to be drunk, just to be slightly tipsy. She laughed at all my jokes and for some reason, it made me feel good.

"Although very beautiful, that dress is fuckin' uncomfortable." she admitted as we stepped foot inside. "And the shoes are even worse."

It had taken her an eternity to pick a dress even if I thought she looked amazing in every single one she tried on.

"You're such a softie." I joked with a laugh.

"A girl has the right to enjoy her sweatpants, can't she?"

"Such a hypocrite!" I laughed again. "You love when I wear a suit!"

She smirked and turned to me, taking a few steps my way as she nibbled on her bottom lip.

"I do. And when you wear sweatpants too. Oh, and golf pants, they help showing how incredible your ass is."

I laughed again and bent down to press my lips against hers.

"I'll remember that." I winked, making her chuckle.

"As if you didn't already know that!"

I watched her get upstairs and quickly followed her. My hands found her waist as soon as I reached her and I bent down slightly to kiss her neck. I would rarely see her with her hair up but she looked pretty and I smiled when a few tiny hairs coming out of her ponytail tickled my nose.

"Niall James Horan, are you trying to get in my pants?"

I laughed and shook my head, making her tilt hers on the side. I let my lips run on her skin again and I could swear I heard her whimper.

"More like under your dress."

She laughed lightly and turned around in my arms. Seeing her smile made mine grow and I moved forward, obliging her to take a few steps back as my hands reached for the zipper of her dress. I slowly moved it down and she smiled more.

"Are you gonna keep your suit on?" she asked, her cute smile turning into a smirk.

"Not all night, no." I smiled too.

"No I meant, are you gonna keep your suit on while I ride you?"

My eyes roamed on her face and I knew she could see all the lust I felt in the way I was looking at her. She took a step back and I kept silent as she pulled on her dress. She stood in front of me in her underwear and even if I knew she felt self-conscious, I couldn't help but let my eyes travel on her body slowly, catching every curve. I ended up smiling more and decided to sit on my bench, smirking when I remembered there was a mirror right on front of it.

She licked her lips again and reached for the tie in her hair, sliding it down her ponytail gently. Her hair fell in a cascade over her shoulders and the pink on her cheeks made me want to be rough with her.

"Come here." I let out. "And get on your knees, petal."

Slowly, she did what I asked and when I felt her hand wrap around my cock, I breathed through my teeth. I looked at her back in the mirror and reached around her to unclasp her bra. Her mouth on my growing cock felt incredible and her pace didn't falter at all when I gripped her hair to help her head move up and down.  The way her tongue and lips moved on me made me want to thrust deeper in her mouth until I came and I felt one of my legs shake at how close I already was.

"Get up and straddle me."

I let go on the air I was holding when she stopped touching me and I watched her get up and take her panties off. She was naked and I was still completely dressed, making her look suddenly more vulnerable than I thought was possible. Slowly, she put her knees on each side of me and sat on my lap. Her lips reached mine and I quickly deepened the kiss to taste her.

"Get up on your knees, pet." I whispered. "I want to touch you."

Keeping her lips against mine, she did what I asked and I quickly slipped one of my hands between her legs. She twitched when it rubbed gently on her clit and I smiled more. I slid two fingers inside her, making her moan in my mouth, but remained motionless for a few seconds.

"Fuck yourself on my fingers. Do it like it's my cock."

She didn't make me tell her twice and started bouncing on my fingers, coating them quickly and making me groan low. Her moans were getting louder and she shook her head to push her hair behind her shoulders. Watching her all fucked like that made me even harder and without thinking, I took my fingers away and grabbed her waist, pushing her down on me. Her skin was burning on my palms and I pressed my fingers more against her skin, hoping it would leave an imprint on her.

"Jesus christ." I let out when I was completely inside her, "Fuck me petal, do it."

She quivered lightly but just started moving over me again as I let go of her to give her full control. I felt my cock slip in and out of her fast and hard and every single time I was balls deep inside her, I could feel her clench around me. I tried to keep my hands to myself, just watching her breasts move right in front of my face but after a while, I couldn't resist.

"You feel so fucking good." I let out with a short moan, bringing my hand to her chest. "I love when you do exactly what I ask you."

Swiftly, I slapped one of her breasts, making her moan and shake over me.

"Don't stop," I ordered, spanking her hard before slapping her breast again. "Keep riding me."

Seeing her ride me was incredible but the pleasure was multiplied whenever I would glance at the mirror, watching her also from behind, her body bouncing and shaking at the same time. I moved closer and ran my lips on her shoulder as she kept fucking herself on me. I sucked a few spots as I ran my hands on her waist and breasts and when I felt her fingers slip in my hair to grip it tight, I let out a moan.

"Niall, I'm gonna cum." her voice came to me in a mix of a whisper and a whimper and when her body started jerking over mine, I felt her clench hard around me, making me reach my orgasm too.

I grabbed her waist and pushed her hard against me as I moved my hips up to feel myself as deep as possible inside her. I let out a few curse words and when my name escaped her lips again in a moan, I felt myself get dizzy from the feeling. We were both a panting mess and she brought her parted lips to mine. We kissed very slowly as I let my fingertips run on her burning skin until we both came down from out high.

"Thanks for inviting me tonight." she said shyly after pulling away, nibbling on her bottom lip. "I know you had to insist a lot, but i'm glad you did."

"T'was my pleasure."

She sent me a fond smile and finally got off of me before staring at me and tilting her head. I tucked my cock back in my boxers and ran my fingers through my now messy hair.

"How hot was it to be dressed while I was completely naked?" she asked, making me laugh.

"The truth? Very hot." She grimaced and I laughed more. "Come on, go get those damn sweatpants."

She laughed as she left the room and I decided to go back downstairs to grab water bottles for both of us. I saw the tags of her dress we had left on the counter since we were in a hurry and threw them in the bin but what I saw made me stop all movements. I bent down to grab the box laying there and I could swear my heart stopped beating. It was impossible, we had been cautious, right? She was on the contraceptive pills, wasn't she? Then why did she felt the need to get a pregnancy test without even telling me. In an impulse, I searched through the bin to find the white stick that would tell me the result and when I realized my search was useless, I just ran back upstairs.

"I decided on your oldest pair of sweatpants, I hope it's okay." she let out as she turned around, probably hearing me rush in the room.

Her face immediately changed when she noticed what i was holding and her lips parted. I could read fear in her eyes and she shook her head slightly.

"It's not what you think..."

"You're pregnant?"

I barely even realized that these words came out of my mouth and as soon as I let them out, time seemed to stop. My whole body was throbbing with fear and so many thoughts rushed to my brain that I could barely think.

"No!"

I thought that i'd feel relieved when I would hear that word but my body was still tensed, my hand gripping the box so tight it started hurting.

"No, Niall, of course not!" she took a step my way. "I would have told you."

"Really? Because you didn't tell me you thought you could be."

Her face changed and she frowned, looking down. I knew she felt guilty but I couldn't seem to feel bad for her at that exact moment.

"I woke up one day, realized I was late, bought a test and did it. It was negative so I thought hey, no big deal." she explained with a shrug before looking back up in my eyes. "It's not like I waited weeks or anything, it was all in the span of a few hours and you were out."

Realizing I had kept my air in, I exhaled slowly, trying to relax my body and finally closed my eyes before rubbing them. I didn't want to be mad at her and if I wanted to be honest, it was a bit wrong of me to be mad anyway. I knew she just wanted to spare me the stress, I just wasn't sure I liked that we kept things from each other.

"If this happens again, I want to know, even if it's negative."

She nodded and I sighed again, walking up to her and taking her in my arms. We hugged for a few seconds and I finally moved back.

"Let's just sleep."

I walked to the bathroom and brushed my teeth before getting undressed and throwing my dirty clothes in the laundry basket. When I came back, the lights were off and she was already laying down in bed. I walked up to her and sat on the mattress,noticing the frame on the bedside table with our young faces on it. I smiled despite myself, not being able to read the little card placed in the corner but knowing exactly what was written on it.

"I love you, Olivia."

I felt her move behind me and closed my eyes when I felt her chest press against my bare back. She leaned her chin on my shoulder and I felt a shiver cross my back.

"I love you too, Niall." she murmured. "I'm so sorry."

[malecftw]

Distractions

A/n: so this was an idea I’d been playing with for a while. It’d been sitting in my drafts for like a month and rn I was just feeling best friends to lovers, a slow cute fic sooooo that’s what came out lol tadaaa. I’ve never really written for David or the Vlog Squad before but let me know if you liked this, maybe I’ll write more in the future. Hope you like it :)

Word count: 1814

Warnings: Idk if Jeff being rejected counts as a warning but here we are, I mentioned the word vagina and idk why but in the context it seemed weird but also okay so yh lmfao y am i acting like im 12

Masterlist.

The LA air was soft and warm, making a strand of hair fall out of your loose bun and tickle your cheek. LA seemed quiet at this time of day, the sun was beginning to set, golden hour was upon you. Lana Del Rey was playing on the background, her deep, soft voice flowing out into the crisp summer air through the open windows. The smell of food made it’s way into your nose, your stomach beginning to rumble at the thought of dinner. Heath, Scott, and Jeff were having a beer at the barbecue whilst Jason was grilling the various types of meat. Kristen, Mariah, Carly, Erin, and Corinna were setting out white plastic chairs in a circle on the grass. Rosé was being spilled, laughs were had and a carefree feeling overtook you.

You still couldn’t believe this was your life. You were living in one of the most famous, loved places on earth surrounded by good friends who were always looking out for you.  Your daydream was cut short when you got nudged in the side. Your head turned around to see Zane standing next to you, leaning on the glass just like you were. “What’s up?” “Not much.” He nodded and directed his eyes to the skyline of LA. “So when are you going to tell him?” He asked, not taking his eyes off of the beautiful view before you. “Probably never.” Your nails clicked slightly against your plastic cup, preferring a soft drink before having a glass of wine with dinner. “Why are you so hesitant. You’re perfect for each other.” You shrugged, being uncharacteristically comfortable with the topic around Zane. “I don’t know. I’ve been flirting with Jeff. I’m just going to look like a slut if I fess up now.” He clicked his tongue at your answer. “Please y/n. You were never in a committed relationship with Jeff. Hell, you never even kissed. He’ll get over it. And we know you, none of us would ever put your name and the word slut in the same sentence.”

A sigh escaped your mouth yet you didn’t have a chance to reply when Heath called out to Zane. He quickly squeezed your arm in comfort before heading over to the boys near the barbecue. You pushed yourself off of the glass and made your way inside. Enough with the overthinking, it was time to make yourself useful. “Nat, can I help?” Natalie looked up at you, pausing mixing the dressing and the salad for a second. “Sure y/n. Could you bring this over to the yard, just put it on the table.” She said with a smile and pushed the salad bowl into your hands. You just nodded and did what she asked. The notification sound of your phone distracted you as you set the bowl on the table and while you quickly replied you felt an arm being swung over your shoulder. “What’s up y/n? Why so quiet?” Jeff said, a silly smile on his face as his eyes screened over your expression. “Not now Jeff.” You shrugged off his arm and started walking away when he grabbed your arm, concerned for your obvious distress. “Hey what’s wrong?”

“Is everything okay here guys?” David walked up, noticing your tense figure and Jeff’s already apologetic one. He didn’t even know what was wrong but was already stressed thinking he was the cause. You looked back and forth between the two guys. Life was playing another trick on you and frankly, you were sick of it. Why couldn’t you just go for the obvious choice? You had a beautiful man right in front of you willing to take things to the next level but no. Instead, you had to fall for the one dude that wouldn’t notice an eager vagina if it slapped him across the face. 

As you were having this inner dialogue with yourself the two guys still looked at you, confused by your off behavior. “Nothing is okay David, just leave me alone.” You headed for the living room and David took your words like a man. “What the fuck did I do?” He shouted as he ran after you. “Nothing. That’s the problem.”

“Wait what? Y/n what the fuck?” Of course, he didn’t get it. You hadn’t made a move since you were too busy distracting yourself with Jeff. “I just... Just... Just drop it okay. It’s about me, myself and I don’t worry about it.” “Sure doesn’t sound like it.” You rolled your eyes but were secretly grateful for everyone staying outside to give you some privacy. You even notice Nat sneak out of the kitchen, feeling the uncomfortable switch in the room when you walked in.

“Y/n. Just talk to me. Remember that time when you accidentally spilled glue in my hair and we had to shave my head? Didn’t snitch on you then. I looked like a bald man child. I still didn’t snitch. And let me tell you, it wasn’t a look.” David said in a cute attempt to make you feel better. “Of course you didn’t snitch. It was your own fault. Who the hell decided to smack my hands with their head while I was holding an opened bottle of kids glue.” “I’m sorry I forgot to turn on my spidey sense, else I would’ve known you were standing right behind me before I stood up.” “It’s not my fault you were shorter than me.” David placed his hands over his heart, jokingly looking offended. “Ouch.” He teasingly took a couple of steps closer to you causing him to tower over you. “Not anymore though. Now you’re tiny.” You look up at him, arms crossed, confused and annoyed by your feelings for the big man child in front of you. “Now, tiny, are you actually gonna tell me what’s up or am I going to have to keep you hostage until you do?

A pressed sigh leaves your lips. Now or never. His expression turns more serious when he sees your big eyes gloss over. “Hey whatever it is, we can work it out. You and me.” “I’m not so sure about that.” “Well I am.” “I just don’t want to mess things up between us. You’re my best friend.” David immediately knew where this was going and a wide smile formed on his lips. “And?” He said teasingly, eager for the moment in which you’d fess up the same thing he’d been feeling for a while now. “Ugh David you’re a pain.” You say as you softly poke his stomach with your index fingers. “But am I going to be your pain?” His voice has turned hoarse, excited yet on edge. He never dreamed of going there with you. He never had those feelings for you. Until one day, he started seeing you in a different light. He couldn’t pinpoint one moment, it just slowly happened. At first he’d thought it was a silly random idea his mind for some reason made up, but he couldn’t help but think about it from time to time. Then he started getting used to the idea of you two together. It grew on him. Suddenly it didn’t seem weird, it didn’t seem awkward. It just seemed right. But then you’d started flirting with Jeff and David knew he had no chance.

Until now.

You swallowed loudly, your hands pausing, staying put on his sides. “If you want to be.” He nodded slightly, it was the only answer he needed before leaning in. He paused, needing your permission. He needed to know this was it. That this was something you both chose. You slightly pressed your fingers into the clothed skin of his sides, allowing him to connect your lips. It’s wasn’t earth-shattering, it wasn’t filled with sparks and fireworks. It was sweet, soft and gentle. It was what you both wanted. Needed. It wasn’t filled with sexual desire or incredible passion. It was the confirmation you’d both been waiting for. You’d found your person. Ironically enough, he’d been there all along. Love was a big word, you’d known you loved David for as long as you could remember. But back then, you loved him as your best friend.

You both pulled away smiling like idiots. You could see the love and happiness on his face, but he also looked pensive. “So what about Jeff?” You nodded. Of course, it looked really bad. “I like Jeff. I thought I could learn to love him. I needed to learn to love him. I was still waiting for the click in my brain, but it never happened which is why I never took it to the next level. It wouldn’t have been fair to him. He deserves better than a girl whose heart isn’t really in it.”

David’s eyes moved from you to something behind you so you turned around. Of course, like in any other predictable movie or show, Jeff was stood right there, leaning against the window frame. Your mouth fell open, You wouldn’t blame him if he was angry even if he didn’t seem that way right now. “Don’t worry about it y/n. It’s okay.” His thick New York accent filled the room. In a few big steps, he was stood right in front of you, looking to David quickly before grinning. His arms wrapped around your neck and kept you in a playful headlock, messing up your hair as he laughed. “You respected me enough to not go there with me. I appreciate that. At least now I still get to tease you and prank you. David’s lost those privileges.” Relief washed over you. This was the most drama-free ending to this situation you never thought you’d get. 

David put his hands in the air, looking happy and relieved as well that things went as smooth as they did cause let’s face it,... They rarely do. “Hey, as long as I get to film it that’s cool.” He said laughing and you smacked his chest. Jeff let go of you and shot you and David a smile before joining the others in the backyard. David sighed as he took you in his arms, looking down at you before bringing both of your attention to your intertwined fingers. “You ready baby?” He asked, voice high and excited to show off what had been his for the longest time but never really realized until now. You nodded and slowly made your way into the backyard. Jeff probably already told everyone since not a single soul seemed to question what had happened.  “Yes, baby girl you finally did it!” Zane shouted, holding up his beer and everyone cheered.

The smiles on each one of their faces only made it more clear to you.

This had never been a matter of if. 

This had been a matter of when.

[alchemist-shizun]

As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites

Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.

Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)

HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN

"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on

I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep

"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU

They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong

Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood

ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION

SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE

wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-

LOGAN'S HERE

"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg

"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete

"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway

Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though

"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE

"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.

4:17 Patton is adorable bye

"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP

great flick

"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that

YOU HIGH-JOCKED

okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired

WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen

OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT

W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that

"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"

First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY

Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST

"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?

SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.

"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??

"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"

a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene

this is gonna be stuck in my head all day

THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.

god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this

"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?

omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever

THE JUICY STUFF DANCE

"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all

GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him

"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES

pattonnnn did a real good job

THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes

"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)

GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING

WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"

"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that

JOAN

the forbidden dance

INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES

there u go thomas said it too

haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD

irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides

"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips

REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"

"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO

"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time

Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time

Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good

REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC

That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened

"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create

"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"

gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP

"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed

"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk

the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.

HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"

"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the

... the deodorant eating ...

DUKEY

The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is

Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.

"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING

LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP

"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man

THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT

what are they doing to him today let him rest

double blow

"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure

"shit"

THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU

"not all thoughts are meaningful"

He's go- no he's back again

THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?

"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?

"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"

"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that

I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter

why did Virgil look like he was about to cry

Patton I love you

Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see

Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie

"you tickle me emo"

"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will

ROMAAAAN

VIRGILS SMILE

"YOU'RE ALIVE"

"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO

"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other

"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.

I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.

that's my point.

All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive

"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it

Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much

"I don't like him" makes two of us

"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy

The m i r r o r it's making me cry

"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside

Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.

"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying

"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him

The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you

I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for

"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break

the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"

Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.

Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect

First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.

"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"

"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"

"Go to bed!" me

no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me

WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH

GAVIN BEST BOY EVER

and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL

I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.

oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)

[abcdosaka]

rewatched spiderman far from home. wont lie, i love the mcu spiderman movies. theyre so enjoyable and tom holland is cute and zendaya is just sooooo loveable like im not the type of person to care about representation but i like that they didnt dress her up super pretty or make her like a cool alt girl like shes just there and she wears skinny jeans and t shirts with a cardigan and no makeup like i did in highschool lol. someone on twitter was like ‘get her some nicer clothes’ like no??? let her live damn. mcu movie plots are never amazing but theyre just enjoyable to watch. they tickle the part of my brain that gives serotonin. i think its just cuz the characters are so likeable.

oooh and j jonah jameson showed up i totally forgot that happened omfg it totally connects to the next movie then doesnt it?? if hes gonna show up in the original spiderman spiderverse then...

its kinda weird to me that marvel movies are like lowbrow for tumblr ppl--well they say its cuz its us military propaganda which, yea i get, but they also say its destroying ppl’s ability to think critically which like, sorta but not really? even if it is how are you gonna control that? ranting on tumblr wont do anything. well im ranting on tumblr rn. actually no im considering. but it doesnt even matter anyway cuz nobodys gonna read this shit lol. but seriously only like 3 ppl still use tumblr or even care tbh like i care and i dont even care.

also i think i just get annoyed at the whole let ppl enjoy things/being a hater thing that tumblr has going on. idk how many times its gotta be rephrased, but i really do wish the ppl on here would go outside/touch grass/get a grip/worry about something they can actually change.

well its not like it doesnt help to inform ppl so its not truly bad its just fuckin annoying. idk maybe i should touch grass myself. try to be less bothered by it. arghh idk ppl are just annoying.

[booknerd405]

all the soft asks! all of them! i love you so much!!

ily Kate!!!!!!!

honey: what’s your favorite memory you made this year?

tbh there were a lot so imma just name a few of them: 1) that night that you, Libby, Em, and I were at Libby’s house and we were all on one bed and just kept tickling each other 2)playing at carnegie hall & that one moment when i hit the gong correctly for the first fucking time and Mr. S looked so happy it was gr8 and 3) tonight i got pho with my boys and then we went to like 4 different parks and just fucked around and ate too much junk and trespassed on a lot of public property just to chill and it was everything 

sunshine: 3 things you do to relax

1.)  take extra long scalding hot showers with depressing/mellow music (this is gonna kill me not to be able to do properly in dorms fuck)

2.)  take my dog for a walk or walk with my dad at night

3.) let myself go brain dead for a few hours and just watch youtube videos and crochet till my fingers hurt

rain: put your music on shuffle and give a 5 song playlist

Nocturne No. 5 in F sharp major Op. 15 No.2 by Chopin, played by Rubinstein (because i’m a ho for chopin)

That Green Gentleman by Panic! at the Disco 

Mr. Watson by Cruel Youth

Bad Liar by Selena Gomez

Super Rich Kids by Frank Ocean 

lace: what’s your favorite piece of clothing?

right now it’s probably my 2 gentlemen of verona shirt but i’m changing my answer literally every 2 minutes in my head so idk (i’m hoping that if i ever actually crochet the cape i bought a punch of supplies for, that it’ll be my fav lol)

flowers: what’s your favorite outdoor activity?

does sitting and staring at the scenery count as an activity? if not, then going to parks with idiot boys 

roses: what’s your favorite perfume or cologne?

my favorite perfumes are Mariah Carey’s Luscious Pink and Flowerbomb by Victor and  Rolf but my favorite scent on earth is the cologne Play by Givenchy i literally spray that on my stuffed animals so that I can smell it as i sleep

sunsets: give 3 movie recommendations

1) The Intouchables (except ur literally not allowed to watch it the 1st time w/out me i need to watch this french movie w you even if we have to do it over skype)

2) Rush Hour (maybe even Rush Hour 2, but the 1st one is the best)

3) the original 3 Indiana Jones movies (i know that’s more than 1 movie, i dont care)

blankets: what’s your night routine?

brush my teeth, put on my prescription acne medication, try and fail to convince my dog to sleep with me instead of my parents, give up, write a sentence in my 10 year journal and tell myself that i’ll clean my pen out tomorrow, tell myself that i’lll start packing for university tomorrow (i wont), read some fanfic (usually Kurtbastian or Tododeku with a bit of Victuuri sprinkled in), then go to sleep

thunder: what’s your favorite instrument?

i feel a bit obligated to say piano cuz ive been playing it for over 10 years for a reason, but aside from that, i’d say my fav instrument to play is a 3 way tie between gong, suspended cymbals, and timpani, and my fav instrument to listen to other than piano is the cello

ink: favorite thing you’ve written?

lmao i haven’t written anything i’ve liked in a long time (i haven’t written anything in a long time cuz im afraid to lbr) but id say maybe the poem i wrote in middle school that was kinda experimental called Alone, and all the random scenes i wrote for the book i was writing all through middle school called Afflictions (i made the mistake of reading through them an now i wanna start writing it again fuck)

heartbeat: who’s your best friend?

it would actually be impossible for me to choose between Kate and Frederick so i will combine the names to make it 1 best friend: Katerick Frate Karick Frederate 

sunrise: kisses or hugs?

hugs :D

fairy lights: who was the last person you talked to?

my older brother, about pumpkin spice beer

sugar: what’s your favorite snack?

bananas!! (especially if they’re covered in nutella ;P)

wind: what’s your favorite season?

im a basic bitch who loves autumn

trees: favorite thing about your hometown?

there’s a lot of things but probably the best thing about it growing up was that our public schools are so big and the environment is very inclusive so cliques were never rly much of a thing? like there were definitely different groups of ppl but they intermingled so much that it didn’t rly matter? nothing was weird about the captain of the football team being friends with a marching band kid

smiles: who do you go to for comfort?

my dad

skyline: the sun, the moon, or the stars?

the stars!!

lavender: what color do you find most comforting?

almost any shade of brown will usually do the trick but beige and tan are especially nice (basically look at my aesthetic side blog @mercurialaesthetic and that’s ur answer lol)

[paradox-oflife]

tagged by @lememecollector

Get to know me uncomfortably well tag: long post warning

1. What is your middle name? It’s Chinese lmao but if you can read it -> 語寧

2. When is your birthday? December 5th

3. What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius :3

4. What is your favorite color? Red

5. What’s your lucky number? 12 or 7. These numbers just seem to pop up in my life a lot.

6. Do you have any pets? A very old, old golden retriever. I mean, he’s still healthy, he’s just reaaaal old.

7. Where are you from? Born in Northern California, lived in New Zealand for a chunk of my childhood, but I moved back in like elementary school

8. How tall are you?  153 cm, 5′0 feet tall that's right im a midget square up

9. What shoe size are you? 8.5 or maybe 9 depending on shoe brand

10. How many pairs of shoes do you own? like 4. sneakers, flip flops, semi-formal, and formal shoes

11. What was your last dream about? I have the most vivid and bizarre dreams. Last night, I had a dream about me eating at a restaurant with me friends. And I looked up to the night sky and I could see like, the universe in all its colors and glory. It was beautiful. Also there was something about cocaine??

12. What talents do you have? uuuuh I can play a couple of instruments. piano/cello/ukulele/bass

13. Are you psychic in anyway? define psychic. otherwise not really.

14. Favorite song? Read My Mind by the Killers. Or All These Things That I’ve Done by the Killers.

15. Favorite album? It’s so hard to choose. Top 3 in no particular order: Continuum by John Mayer, Sawdust by the Killers, Bury Me at Makeout Creek by Mitski

16. Favorite movie? Spirited Away. Or maybe Kiki’s Delivery Service. Or Akira.

17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who just vibes with me yknow. I can just talk for hours with them.

18. Do you want children? Mm. Not in the near future I guess. If I do, I’d have 2. Because it’s always great to have a sibling.

19. Do you want a church wedding? Yeah. But I don’t like having a really big wedding. I like being low-key.

20. Are you religious? Yeah. I was born and raised Christian. Non denominational, but I guess the closest would be Oneness Pentecostalism? Anyways religion is one of the few things I actually take pretty seriously.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? One time, and it was for stitches. Dumb story.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? No, I will literally get an anxiety attack if I hear police sirens when I'm in the car. I pray that I don't.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Nah. Would be cool but idk how i’d react.

24. Baths or showers? Showers, but if I’m feeling it, a bath would never hurt.

25. What color socks are you wearing? Not wearing socks rn B). (also why do Americans not go barefoot more often lol. Its considered normal in NZ)

26. Have you ever been famous? No. I guess it’d be cool to be semi-famous. Like those small youtubers with a thousand subscribers. But I could never handle the pressure.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Noooo hell no

28. What type of music do you like? Alternative/indie rock

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? LMAO no, and never will. It looks so uncomfortable when you get out. Like... what if there’s bacteria in the water or something.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two to three

31. What position do you usually sleep in? Honestly I have a hard time falling asleep so im always too tired to really remember

32. How big is your house? My parents house. Pretty decent sized. Average two story American house. Well, im only here until the pandemic is over bc college lol

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Cereal or bread.

34. Have you ever fired a gun? The only gun I've ever fired was a nerf gun

35. Have you ever tried archery? No. Never really had a chance.

36. Favorite clean word? Mm... I use chur a lot irl. Then I found out its nz slang and no one actually knows what it means in the states lmao.

37. Favorite curse word? Ah... I don't actually swear that much. Maybe like shit? idk

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? like 18 hours. sorry but I am one hell of a sleeper

39. Do you have any scars? one. very small, hardly noticeable on my cheek.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Well it wouldn’t really be secret if I knew about it right?? lol. I’ve had three. Two were boys in elementary school, and one was a girl in 10th grade. It was awkward bc im straight but. yeah.

41. Are you a good liar? Im a pretty down to earth person. So I don't lie a lot. But id say im alright.

42. Are you a good judge of character? For the most part, yeah.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? I can do the southern USA accent, like the cowboy movies lol. The surfer accent, “duuuude”, like the turtle from Nemo. Im pretty bad at the Scottish accent. I can do a received pronunciation British accent, which is the standard accent you hear on tv. I can do Australian pretty well. And of course, my original accent, the kiwi accent. The standard one and the Maori one.

44. Do you have a strong accent? Eh. Not really. Sounds pretty American if I’m speaking slowly. But when I’m relaxed or talking fast, people tell me I sound kind of British. So I guess I have some weird combo of nz/american

45. What is your favorite accent? Australian is my favorite in general. But I love listening to thick Scottish accents. They’re so funny idk why

46. What is your personality type? INFP-T

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? A dress for wedding

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yup.

49. Favorite book? Aw man there’s so many. Fahrenheit 451 is always fun to reread

50. Left or right handed? Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? um YES

52. Favorite food? my dad’s fried rice hits the spot like no other. I also like green onion pancakes

53. Favorite foreign food? The three colored egg thing idk what its called in English?

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Probably more on the messy side, but I try!

55. Most used phrased? thick kiwi accent: “Oh, chur bro!” or “chur cuzzy!”

56. Most used word? Honestly it’s probably something like dude or bro

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Maybe 20-30 min on an average day

58. Do you have much of an ego? I try not to, id like to say im pretty humble when it comes to things. maybe too much.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck, but when im bored I CRONCH

60. Do you talk to yourself? Sometimes, usually if its im trying to remind myself of something

61. Do you sing to yourself? In the car usually, but its soft humming most of the time.

62. Are you a good singer? I mean, the most I can do is be on pitch. Nothing ordinary. I whistle like 24/7 in public tho

63. Biggest fear? Externally, probably needles. Internally? My friends are only pretending to like me

64. Are you a gossip? I don’t spread gossip but I listen to it sometimes. Actually, when it comes to the whole beauty community on youtube, I listen to a lot of it.

66. Can you dance? NOPE

67. Can you name all 50 states? Yup

68. Favorite school subject? For me it was orchestra and literature

69. Extrovert or introvert? according to the Myers briggs test im 78% introverted

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No and it makes me nervous

71. What makes you nervous? Everything. Anxiety :)

72. Are you scared of the dark? Nah. I live in a suburban area so nothing really happens, but if I’m out in a major city no thanks

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Depends how big. If it’s like a typo or something, I don't really care. If it’s something major then I’ll try to correct them

74. Are you ticklish? I used to be. But if you taser tickle me I will scream, or if you squeeze my thigh.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? No

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Eh ive been the leader of a club before. That’s it.

77. Have you ever drank underage? No!! Dont drink too much when you’re a minor it hurts ur brain :(

78. Have you ever done drugs? No

79. Who was your first real crush? lmao I had one in like 3rd grade but that was a long time ago.

80. How many piercings do you have? I got ear piercings when I was like 8 but I didn't do anything with them and the hole closed lol

81. Can you roll your R’s? Yes

82. How fast can you type? Accurately? around 88 bpm. As fast as I can? more like 120.

83. How fast can you run? I was always more of a explosive runner. But I pretty much sucked at long distance runs. I think my best mile time was like 8:38??

84. What color is your hair? I believe its black/dark brown. can't be sure. im colorblind

85. What color are your eyes? Dark brown.