#idk maybe its just me but it makes sense that narratives about the outsider struggling for control against those in power by any means

[karamazovanon]

completely random observation but i truly love how so many of my notifications are from lesbian flag pfps/urls/etc. lesbians just fucking love dostoevsky!!! what is it about his work that resonates so hard with us. is it the existential struggle against repressive social institutions and expectations. is it the immense internal anguish & rage barely concealed by a paper-thin veil of politeness out of fear of impropriety that finally overflows explosively. is it the spiteful female characters tormented by the narrative. is it the murder

[emblazons]

you've been writing a lot about parentified Mike lately, and while I appreciate it, from a story perspective I just don't understand why.

Maybe its just because I'm an elmike truther, but it really doesn't make sense to me why they would put such an unpleasant aspect into their friendship or romance when they could have just had her upset at him over Max's death or not sharing interests? With steve and nancy they broke up over barb and nancy wanting something else which made of sense without making steve "parent" her. idk. Maybe you're the wrong person to ask lol I'm just thinking out loud

I mean. Maybe I'm not the best person to give insight into why the duffers do what they do, but I can give why I think they did it?

Forewarning: this got really long, apologies lmao

Honestly (and take this from an out-of-universe perspective): I think they're fully aware of the strangeness of El as a character, and how she has a lot of narrative/personal "growth needs" that other characters don't just by nature of her background. She even from the pitch is referred to as "the outsider," and all of her arc, not just the romantic one, has been centered around finding a 'home' in the world, on top of finding the family she lacked before.

This, I'm almost certain, is why she always ends up on different paths than every other person she interacts with—she started with almost no sense of self as an individual, which means a sense of "self" has to be built and discovered (and remembered) for El in a way it already has been for our other characters. Max, Mike, Will, Dustin, Lucas—all of them have interests and desires, a sense of family (good or bad), know what they enjoy, and are evolving as they go along...but El didn't at the start of ST beyond lab trauma, which is why The Duffers have centered almost all of her character growth since then around discovering where she came from & who she wants to be.

With Mike though...there is an entirely different set of relational and character needs that have to be addressed. With Mike, the main struggles he has (from the pitch, again) are with insecurity, his belief that a girl will resolve that insecurity, his feeling valueless unless he can do something for the people he loves (almost like 'earning his place' in their lives) and his (almost certain) queerness...combined with how he is, at the end of the day, just another "everyman" guy.

Unlike El, Mike has some sense of personhood, his own established friends and interests and a home—but he doesn't feel like he has a place he's intrinsically appreciated, because (for whatever reason) he feels who he is inherently inadequate. Its why every season (and every time we hear Finn dig a little into Mike's character) we hear about Mike trying to serve others and "feel needed again," despite being hesitant to let them in—he desires unconditional acceptance, and to be valued for who he is inherently...while also being terrified to let people in enough to see him (lest his core identity be rejected).

When Mike and El were just friends, it was easier to sort them out as some version of "equals;" we all have friends who are in different life phases than us, or who have different needs we're trying to walk alongside as they try to meet them, which is why their friendship is cute in S1. With actual romantic partners though, we introduce an element of "trying to get your needs met" with the person you're most closely involved with...and for Mike and El, that means blending "a nebulous sense of self and desire to find an identity + family" with "a desire to have a girl fill a sense of inherent unworthiness," which, as most of us can see, leads to disaster.

Basically: From the snowball onward, writing romantic mlvn meant exploring what happens when you mix what El is looking for with what Mike tries to do to feel valued...and The Duffers have decided (rightfully, I think) that this means Mike is going to (consciously or not) move towards becoming the things El lacks to "become valuable," aka: protection from the "bad men," someone who is able to keep her safe from them, and...someone who can help her fill her needs for home + family, even though he is dramatically under-equipped at all of 12-15 to meet that task.

Because (especially s4) one of El's core needs has become a healthy father figure and found family, Mike is going to move toward behaving that way to be valuable...which means he's going to inadvertently conflate himself with the men who have also placed themselves in that role: Hopper and Brenner. It also means that Mike is going to feel that same "my child is leaving the nest" energy when El "grows up" and into herself as a wholly independent entity—which is why we see him say as much to Will in the van before the painting—

—and why it sometimes seems like El is almost "rebelling" against Mike as much as she has Hopper and Brenner over the seasons.

To your point though: all of this is inherently different from Steve and Nancy...because both Steve and Nancy had that sense of individual identity that El lacked at the start of the show. There was no space for a "parental" aspect to enter their romance in that sense—it was just two people who were incompatible, which is why they failed. Similarly, if Mike and El would have started the romantic part of their relationship at end of S4 points of the narrative—or even end of S3, after El had a second to come into her own with Max—things would have been a lot different for them, I think.

Only...that's not what happened, and...not how they're resolving Mike's insecurity about being inherently valuable. They broke Mike and El down romantically vis a vis this "she's looking for herself and he's trying to fill his own void with her" track, and then gave Will the entirety of the hand to soothe Mike's deepest fears instead, which is why Mike and El will break up and Mike will end up with and around Will more, because Will knows Mike’s heart and sees Mike as an equal even with his flaws...and loves him for it. 🤷🏽‍♀️

(There are also (in my opinion) fundamental thematic reasons they were working toward as reason why they wrote even the breakdown of mlvn that way (the themes of rejecting forced conformity, found family, and even embracing your love for things other people might think are childish are served by this "version" of the Mlvn to Byler transition) but. I can see why someone wouldn't like it if they were attached to Mike and El being close anyway lmao).

Anyway! I hope...that helps? Honestly that's just how I've come to understand it, and hope that offers some sort of solace or explanation. Its what makes the most sense to me anyway (lol).

Regardless, thanks for the ask! :)

[septiembrre]

I'm a little late but I just saw your post from a year ago about latinx rep in good girls and its sad reflecting back on it and how the show could've done better. Rio was just another stereotype, I hate how he was ambitiously latino and there was just no connection to his culture. Was he first, 2nd, or 3rd Gen? If he was 1st Gen it didn't make sense to have the family speak English. One thing that always annoyed me is how OOC he was at times and how the writers purposely made him out to be like some brown aggressive misogynistic man. They didn't bother making him complex. In a way I'm glad the show got canceled. As a Mexican woman the way Rio was written was racist.

Wah, I’ve been sitting on answering your ask. I wanted to tease your ask apart and respond to it sentence by sentence. But... my brain kept rechazandolo, so now I have feelings dump instead.

Since Good Girls ended, I have been parsing through how I feel about S4 and GG overall — sometimes more positively, sometimes more negatively. Then, I flip to reminding myself it’s not that serious (it's just tv! this is supposed to be my leisure activity!). Then, I waffle back to reflecting.

So, no textual analysis just feels and whining under the cut. I know folks are still mourning the end of the show and I don't want to yuck anyone's yum. Tagging with #ggnegativity.

My short answer is that Good Girls is my beloved, sometimes joyful, sometimes hurtful, complicated little show. Even now that we’re no longer getting new episodes I’m wary of sifting through the information we have about Rio because it’s a mess and it seems like a lot of his character was poorly thought out (ahem, all those dumb messages from Bill Krebs confirming multiple instances of lack of intentionality or care!).

I say this because I was tempted to start responding to you by riffing off of your comment with, “y'know, now that you say that, I think he’s third or fourth gen…”, pero who cares? And the point was never specifically about what gen he is, or even more specifically about... lol, I was going to say it doesn't matter what nationality he was, they just needed to pick one. Ugh, but the wording of that is too glib. The lack of intentionality behind these details feels sanitized to me, it feels very white gaze, it feels lazy.

However, I could have forgiven a lot of this weak character construction if his baseline, plot-related characterization on-screen was more consistent. But, Rio was often used as a plot device in a way that often fell flat for me, a weekly recurring bogeyman whether his antagonism made sense or not. On one hand, I feel for the creative team, because I think they were in a hard place, trying to avoid romanticizing Rio, and trying to seemingly backtrack the sexualization of him in Season 2, but... Idk, it's complicated.

Retrospectively, it’s sitting with me how much Good Girls is rooted in whiteness. While it's something I discerned before (lol, most obviously with 2x13 and in S3 with Lucy's disposability), you know how some shows get to their third or fourth season and finally start investing in their marginalized characters? It’s a crappy thing to hold out hope for, they're crumbs! But, I was. And we did get some Rio worldbuilding. But, ultimately, it felt weak to me -- under-conceptualized or under-worked.

For example, I liked Nick as a Bigger Bad who drove Rio and Beth together. I also thought that Nick's non-existent moral code was a lovely foil to Rio's, and that this contrast humanized Rio in a way that he needed. It also cast a new light on Rio's behavior of the earlier seasons, outside of Beth's perception in a way that I thought was healthy and needed. Great, meaty stuff! However, Nick and Rio's relationship came across as shallow to me. There really did not seem to be a lived-in quality to their scenes. The show really struggled with that element overall -- even with the three lead protagonists (their decades-long history with each other and interactions between their families being largely absent). I wonder why they made that choice.

It's strange because on the flip side we got a hefty amount of contextualization for MLM guy Vance and Annie's bf Kevin... Even that cop who Mick killed! All white men, too.

Me da pena.

Or maybe the thing that bothers me is that those scenes between Nick and Rio didn't center Rio's perspective effectively? Despite the one-on-one scenes being outside of Beth's framing (Rio being a secondary character typically tethered to Beth's story arc), there still was a lot of distance between Rio and the viewer? Like I think of Vance in his kitchen with his wife and child, and the way we as viewers were brought into that to empathize with him, and I think of the distance of Nick+Rio boxing scene or the scenes at the bar. Argh! It's hard to pinpoint without the textual analysis I feel too grumpy to do. It was such a narrative choice to keep Rio aloof and I side-eye it.

Anyway --

Overall, the writing room/show creators/decision-makers didn't seem to consider Latine/x/a/o viewers throughout the crafting of Good Girls and that sucks. It really feels like I'm being told to conform to the white gaze in watching the show, and after 2x13 that makes me feel prickly and defensive. A part of me yearns to do a rewatch to map Rio’s character (and inconsistencies) but I still yield joy from Good Girls — it’s been my main comfort story during the pandemic. I also rendered joy from Season 4 specifically — some of those scenes between the leads at the end were phenom!!

I am leaning into what's bringing me joy right now, so I feel hesitant to stew in critique, even while I also feel some sort of need to make sense of the hurtful racializations. I have a compulsion to write them all down on the same post or list -- somewhere where I can see them all at once and understand. But, at the moment, it’s not a use of my time and energy that feels good. Opting into fics and writing is bringing me a lot of joy during hard times.

I have to close with one final whine, that I am SO fatigued with television options right now. I find myself desperately wishing for more TV out there whose priority audience isn't only white folks. Good Girls isn't alone in its treatment of Latinx characters, or alone in mishandling characters of color or gay characters, or prioritization of empathy for white het male characters, but certainly, creating something more thoughtful shouldn't be so hard.

[elizabethrobertajones]

hi! is their any good lore or (more likely) what's your preferred headcanon on the metaphysics of demons? what actually *are* they, that is different from human souls they're made from, yet allows them to basically have human-like personalities in some cases (and be completely rabidly evil in others)?

Honestly the last few years have left me at “people be like that” and how hard is it anyway to convince someone who was already an asshole who got sent to hell that they’d suffer less if they inflicted pain back, and leaning into that will get you sick supernatural powers to do more evil with, and before you know it all these incel weirdoes who had an unhealthy murder-suicide pact in their head with the barista who had never even talked to them except to take their order and give them the side-eye when they stared too long, are in a weird one upmanship culture with each other about who can eat the most babies or whatever Hell’s current Evil Fad is in order to be the Most Alpha Bad Demon.

Which makes it a pretty chilling commentary before it was even fully in the epoch for pop culture commentary, on how society and herd mentality are warping people into terrible monsters, and many of those people are people who maybe would have been sympathetic and vulnerable and probably bullied and insecure a long time ago, but instead of being helped they’re put into this mill that twists them and feeds their insecurities and tells them who’s to blame for them and gives them a new sense of purpose and a club to belong to that for the first time they feel powerful and accepted and need an autocratic ruler to worship and follow and the only condition is to mete out pain? These people who’ve been filled with pain all their lives and would like nothing more than to lash out against everyone they perceive has hurt them?

I think the show has actually got into this a bit from the start with the Psychic Children stuff, and how Yellow Eyes was following them around bothering them and making their lives horrible in order to twist them or at least make them feel outside and alone and different. Like, after the Mary incident and seeing how John took up arms, he didn’t have to do SHIT with Sam until he was an adult, but some of the kids had had him whispering to them since childhood, probably because they were living too stable middle class comfortable lives and needed a push. Max for example didn’t have any known contact from Yellow Eyes though because he also grew up in an abusive home, and the people around him did all the work to turn him into a killer as soon as he had special powers to pay it back to those who hurt him. 

A lot of the season 1-4 messaging was very much how Sam and Dean were good men because they had been put through this or sent to hell and how they struggled against what they thought might be their nature either from basically birth for Sam or the abuse Dean was put through (Dream a Little Dream very clearly showing how Dean could be someone who was ripe for demonisation just from his upbringing even before the torture because he had these things which could be twisted to make him evil if someone was going to manipulate him)... Sam’s side was all based on magic bullshit and he turned out to be mostly good all the way through even when he was being very very bad, but Dean’s struggles always were framed through this. Like the season 7 episode with Jeffrey, who was very strongly paralleled with Dean and put attention back on him having been a torturer in hell long after the main narrative had moved on from Dean’s trauma. But even when Dean did get demonised through magic bullshit it still was more based in his character than the way Sam struggled through knowing he should be a good guy and wanting to be a good guy and just always finding more magic bullshit in the way when he tried. 

So I think you can say this is sort of the reasoning the show’s always given for how demons end up like that... Like, Ruby being a witch with a demon pact before she died meant she was very in control of herself and probably needed no torture whatsoever to pop back up as a demon because she was already willing to do these horrible things. Likewise idk if it was confirmed Rowena was a demon or just a dead soul in Hell who was too scary to fuck with, but either way she was allowed to just waltz onto the throne without any real process of suffering because she was so well suited to it from her life, even if her death was a heroic sacrifice and she had become a better person in life, she was still a blatantly hellbound soul and then once there blatantly a step above MOST souls Hell would ever be lucky to get their hands on. Dean on the other hand was someone who would resist at every step and have to be seriously broken by prolonged torture to ever even start him on the path. Rowena might not even NOTICE the day she slips from human soul to demon :P 

I think back in season 10/11 there was more of an effort to suggest cosmic nonsense and the balance of hell to heaven and demons to angels and amara to chuck, giving Amara similar looking powers to demons with black smoke especially, and of course Dean and Cain being demonised as just an inherent part of their souls being in contact with her. No one ever laid down any ground rules about this but I suppose the magical process has to be at least somewhat borne out since Lucifer had the Mark at one point when he started making demons, so probably the Darkness has its spooky fingers in the mechanics of all this somewhere. But the psychological aspect is far more interesting to me. :D

[candiliam328]

Season 1 was SO musically superior! Like imma be honest, there are very few songs I remember or liked from season 2. I think in hell I’ll be in good company, golden brown, and major Tom are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. Season 1's soundtrack is iconic. Phantom of the opera? I think we're alone now? The Walker? Shingaling? Kill of the night, hazy shade of winter, happy together, run boy run, picture book, don’t stop me now... they’re all so good! No mistakes were made XD

YES. YES. YES. 

ok this is going to be an extremely long answer and... 

Necessary disclaimer: these are just all my personal opinions (pls don’t attack me)

Season 1 was a musical masterpiece. The OST and the pop music worked really well together. But I... wasn’t impressed with the music in S2. There’s lots of reasons why.

But what you’re talking about... honestly same. I just looked through a playlist of the pop music in S2 and I didn’t remember most of them? Couldn’t even guess what scenes they might play in? That’s... an immediate failing. If you put a song in a show, it needs to be a deliberate choice and it needs to mean something or else why would you bother including that song? 

yike I can literally talk about this for hours (more below the cut)

Music in cinema is really... weird. Even more so when you introduce pop music. 

Ok, let’s go from the beginning... a good musical scoring is supposed to reflect what is happening on your screen. It’s meant to support but not overwhelm. A good musical scoring will implicitly tell you more about the story than what you are visually given... but it’s incredibly subtle. You’re not meant to realize that you’re getting some extra info because that would distract you from what’s actually happening on the screen. Some background processing of info, if you get what I mean. (more to come in my OST analysis, should it ever be finished I guess lol)

This isn’t the case with pop music. This can’t be the case with pop music. 

Remember, the OST is original composition. Written specifically for this show. Only introduced to you in the context of this show.

Popular music, by definition, exists outside the context of this show. 

So there’s a really subtle balance that needs to be kept here when introducing pop music because you risk taking your audience out of the moment and making them think of other memories they already associate with that song. 

How do you combat that? Well, diagetic music (music built into the show, like “I Think We’re Alone Now”) tends to be more easily digested and accepted as part of the show material, since the characters are obviously hearing this music as well and interacting/reacting to the music. You have visual confirmation that this music is part of the show as well as auditory stimulation, so brain is less likely to wander off on its own journey. 

But the more clever way? Have an incredibly meaningful scene tied with it, something that fits in all the right ways and allows it to work like the score, giving you additional information without you even knowing it. Something that overpowers your brain’s tendency to get distracted by whatever other context you may associate with that pop song. Something that will grab your brain and be like “Sorry, brain. This song is officially a TUA song.”

This obviously works best if you have very little memories associated with the song, so the more obscure the song the better. But if you’re an absolute mad genius with your music and your cinematic timing, you can overpower any association with any song, no matter how popular it is. (... ever wonder why every song in Shrek became an immediate Shrek song? yeah lol)

You also have to recognize that the pop music in TUA or in any other piece of cinema that includes pop music? It does not exist in auditory isolation. There’s a running stream of background music and sounds and noises. Clever sound production will make the jump between music as smooth as possible. Clever scoring will think about how to weave a narrative, while keeping in mind the pop music that will be inserted as well. Make everything as subtle and smooth as possible. Your job is to not take the audience away from the narrative of the screen.

Ok, that was a lot of background info. You may be asking, “LOL BEAN WHAT’S YOUR MAIN POINT?”

Alright, so here it is.

The pop music in season 2 was pretty much doomed to be less effective from the get-go. 

The original score of TUA is composed by the lovely Jeff Russo. From my understanding, he knew what pop music was already planned for season 1 before he even got to scoring. This is important. Because he could make choices about the score and the motifs, while keeping the pop music in mind. He could make a more cohesive sound and music experience. And it worked.

There were deliberate choices made with the pop music. They prioritized and made sure you heard them in the right contexts. I will tell you now that there may be some pop music in season 1 that you completely forgot about. That’s OK. You weren’t necessarily supposed to remember them that much. You can’t be expected to pick up on everything. But the ones that played during the most important scenes? “Run Boy Run,” “Don’t Stop Me Now,” “The Walker,” “Never Tear Us Apart”? You know them. They played them longer and they took the time for your ears to appreciate the music and recognize its context in the show. None of this works if your ears and your brain don’t have enough time to process and form the associations of this song with what is happening on the screen. And they resonated with you the most because they reflected what was happening in the show the strongest. These are the important scenes you were supposed to care about and will play in your mind now whenever you hear those songs. 

But an even stronger testament to the integrity of pop music in S1: The other songs you forgot about and can’t name off the top of your head? You can listen to them again and maybe even make a good guess at when they were playing in the show. They... fit the show somehow, even if you can’t exactly place it. 

And this all makes sense if they chose these songs even before they started filming. Even before they started most of the scoring. 

In season 1, choices were made because of the pop music. 

... not so much the case for season 2. 

I’ve spent less time on the music for season 2 and honestly I don’t plan to spend much more ahaha... But here’s my two cents:

The music in season 2... is incredibly confused. You no longer have this cohesive sound experience that showed up in season 1. The OST is stuck with motifs that were developed with pop music from s1 in mind. Also, Russo played really hard into the fact that Vanya played the violin in season 1 and now there’s no violin at all on-screen, but he’s stuck with an excess amount of violin in the scoring, so there’s already less of a connection there. Not only that, but Russo is no longer the sole score composer, was working on other projects while scoring this one, so there’s less time from him dedicated to make this score work, but also a slightly different sound being introduced from another composer.

Now, add in the messiness of time travel to the 1960′s. The OST is not the 1960's. Not even the new tracks introduced. So the 1960′s sound is... trying to come from the pop music. The pop music that doesn’t blend in with your OST because your OST was developed for a time set in the present. 

But wait! Your S1 soundtrack got really popular because of its prime pop music choices... music that fit really well with your scenes. Let’s do that... but even more. Let’s use really popular music !! Backstreet boys, maybe some covers of Billie Eilish, and Adele. Everyone knows these songs !! They’ll see how clever we are and it’ll make them laugh !! 

(Notably, this kinda ruins the charm that they were hoping to replicate from S1? Honestly, several times while I was watching S2, I literally shook my head and closed my eyes, thinking.... “of course, they would play this.” Took me completely out of the show. Yeah, it can be really fun, but idk if you are thinking about the people behind cinematic decisions during your first watch of a show, those people probably messed up at their job?)

But wait, I thought you were using your pop music to establish the 1960′s theme? Now some of your music is directly clashing with that and the environmental setting? You’re confused. What are you supposed to be taking away from the pop music now?

And here’s something even more messy: the pop music in S1 was so incredibly important in establishing the musical identity of your characters, since they were played during some of the most defining character moments. Consciously or not, you have some musical expectations already for each of the characters. Not only that, but you’re expecting this pop music to be telling you more things about your characters than what you’re seeing on the screen. What happens when those expectations are not met? There’s some cognitive dissonance. You’re mentally taken out of the show, thinking about other things. Confused about what you’re supposed to take away from this music. Bad. Musical. Decisions.

So... what does that leave you with for the music in season 2?

A mess of 1960′s music and clunky ‘on-the-nose’ music choices, which may or may not clash with the established musical identities of the characters and all clumsily tied together with a struggling OST for the musically confused ears of the audience.

Tldr; Season 1 was a musical masterpiece. The Season 2 music never even had a chance.

[misstrashchan]

RWBY V8 CH12 Initial Thoughts:

Yes yes I'm late watching the new episode don't look at me. Also @tumblezwei thank you thank you for showing me how to put the read more bit on posts, I can finally put it to good use.

Figured I might as well do a reaction/initial thoughts to this episode since I haven't done that in a while, so here goes:

- Man Ironwood is just. Super overcompensating with his Gun-gun.

"You've done the right thing."

"I have. Feels weird"

-I'M SORRY THAT WAS THE BEST LINE OF THE EPISODE HANDS DOWN. Just. The sass. The growth. Kicking Ironwood in the face while cuffed (does she have experience doing that? Fighting while arrested? It kinda looked similar to Mercury's fighting style too.) EMERALD I LOVE YOU.

- Ngl I feel extremely satisfied that we can finally FINALLY put the "Winter is Totally Going To Be A Villain" theory to bed after this episode. Not that I didn't used to see the appeal of it myself, but v8 made it increasingly clear that wasn't where her arc was headed. Also Schneebling reunion on the horizon? Pretty please???

- *Sees Oscar riding on the Chimera summon with Winter*

*Remembers Oscar riding with Yang on the hoverbike in episode 2*

My Snowpines/Rosegarden shipping ass: Gee Oscar, how come you get TWO big sister-in-laws?

- Small thing but it's always nice to see team ALPN fighting together. I know a few Oscar fans were freaking out about Penny potentially replacing Oscar as their teammate, but like I thought that wasn't really something to worry about. *gently bonks Oscar fanbase* Sillies.

- I'm a little suprised given how Ironwood is the Big Bad of the Atlas arc how quickly he went down, without much dramatic flair or further esculation, but I am so glad Winter got that last awesome shot on him. (and that Oscar managed to get a few jabs in too) And like. He's still alive in jail. So who the hell knows what we're gonna do with him now. Take him to Vacuo along with Jaques apparently. I'm sure that'll go greeeeaaat.

- Ambrosius... after a quick google search the name apparently means "Divine" or "Immortal" in Greek. Hm. Unlike Jinn, not a specific reference to a mythical being, at least not in name, but I'm sure people are already theorizing on that front better than I could. Similar blue/gold design too. So maybe they're all Djinns in a sense, since they grant your desires, but split into four focusing on a specific kind of desire? That works. Anyways, super fun character and I hope they make more use of him. Like, because I wanna see more of his personality and also Oh my Gosh the Things You Can Do With His Powers are Basically Limitless as long as you're smart about it (hint hint get the CCT active around Remnant but Better)

- And gosh were our girls smart. Weiss working with Whitley to get the schematics and coordinates for the exact points of evacuation that they had originally planned out for their ships to create portals to the Vault/Central Zone (?) to Vacuo, Ruby puting in careful thought and wording about creating a copy of Penny with the existing robot parts from her to let the girl who was always there underneath remain and leaving the copy with the virus to self destruct, with Penny's designs for reference, they absolutely did their homework. Of course there was the risk of if Penny could exist without that physical form, but of course they all believed in her.

- Self destructing Not!Penny crawling towards the real Penny is super creepy and hopefully something she doesn't have nightmares about

- Of course the first thing Penny does when she realises she's a Real Girl is hug everyone so she can experience the joy of Real Normal Warm Hugs.

"Are hugs always this warm?"

"Yes, Penny"

"Woooow"

-MY HEART. No actually back up, back up, the Nuts and Dolts shipper in me is singing rn, because all the times Penny has been hugged by Ruby this volume and only now is she actually able to actually feel that hug. Like, the sentiment and emotional support of it was always there and obviously appreciated by her before, but like. Now she can FEEL it.

- I'm super happy for Penny and seeing her back to her cheerful adorable self is Delightful, but at the same time I'm now really worried for her too. She doesn't have to worry about the virus anymore, now she's a regular meat person, but here's the thing. She's a regular meat person. No more rocket boots. No more lasers. No more in built swords attached to her body with strings. No more resistance to harsher elements. No more night vision. Obviously she's still the Winter Maiden, so she's still a force to be reckoned with, and she has RWBY with her, but she's still a rookie maiden that is massively vulnerable right now. She's vulnerable in her new human form to anyone coming after her. And like. Things just feel like they're going too smoothly...

- Speaking of, hello hello my ominous darling Cinder. Just like last volume, when things seem to be going too smoothly, there you are. So Watts cut off Jaune's broadcast and all other communications in the kingdom, and I'm guessing Cinder's jumping in those portal spaces with Neo to come after Ruby and Penny? That along with the "Do Not Fall" warning seems... yeah something's gonna go terribly wrong by the end of this volume. Salem, Ironwood, Mantle, Penny... All these loose ends are just being dealt with so quickly and neatly for me to be fully comfortable.

- tfw you've read Before the Dawn and know that Vacuo was already struggling with refugees coming in since Atlas had closed its borders, Vale was overrun with Grimm, and Mistral had its defences spread thin already being the widest reaching kingdom, along with Leo, Hazel and Tyrian denting it even further in offing all the huntsman and huntresses, and Vacuo's people are already pretty stingy with outsiders, and if there are thousands coming from the kingdom that closed it's borders and ordered an dust embargo... oh boi the Vacuo arc is gonna be a doozy.

- I know it's probably too close to Atlas and therefore Salem, and we need a convenient way to segue into the Vacuo arc, but couldn't Argus have been an option for the portal evacuation? At least, as well as Vacuo?

- OH FUCK YEAH I FORGOT THEY MENTIONED THE WRITERS SAID V9 WAS GONNA BE A DETOUR AND WASN'T JUST GOING TO BE JUMPING STRAIGHT TO VACUO. So like. Are they gonna get lost in a void of time and space? Are they going to jump through time by accident? Or just in space? Both? If you fall do you just end up randomly in the middle of the desert, far from Vacuo? And v9 is just going to be RWBY trekking through the desert? Similar to v6 after the train crash? So many questions.

-Hmm. Torn between Cinder going after Penny/Ruby with Neo in the vault space, or potentially being confronted by ALPN+Emerald... JNR+Emerald seems more narratively fitting, but Neo seems deadset on her and Cinder killing to Ruby...

- I wonder if Qrow is gonna confront Ironwood while he's in jail... Role reversal of the start of the volume. Or maybe he's just going to consider it worth his time.

-Taking all the established Atlas characters right with us into the Vacuo arc seems like it's going to be... A Lot. At this point I wouldn't be surprised if team RWBY really did end up jumping in time in V9 to fast forward on the two city populations integrating with one another, like maybe by a few months? Idk I'm just spitballing. Initial thoughts and all.

- Last point but the hooded cowl is such a great look on Cinder. Love it.

[stray-tori]

Emma’s character arc in the anime (or what I think it is, anyway) (anime-only)

Her "nothing has happened in a year and it's my fault" vent is -- a) kind of meta (they literally have only been passengers in their s2-story so far*. rescued by mujika/sonju, directed by Minerva, chased out by the farm force & now on the run. right now, they have so small agency in the story and not only is the narrative acknowledging it, Emma's development herself seems to be a result of it)

* in part that's also true for s1, they have always been carried a little. By Krone, for giving them the pen, and by Norman for generally being the connecting piece until he was gone and even then he outlined most elements of the plan for Emma.

-- b) interesting because right now it makes her the opposite of Norman who despite not being in the season for almost half of its run time, arguably made more goal-related progression (i.e. stealing children from farms - assuming it was them -, while Emma couldn't even go back for the Phil and others; probably having a base to bring the children they steal (i doubt the group that was with him are ALL of them), while Emma's base, the bunker, had to be abandoned). He’s the plot-driving character even when he's not there and now that he is, I'm assuming there will be more of a lead / idea of where to go from there.

It feels like a foil setup but I'm not entirely sure for what.

.

so, clearly this season's theme is not burdening everything by yourself - proof:

Ray spelled it out in ep1, Gilda reaffirmed it in ep2 and the opening’s visuals with her in the vidaflower field also seem to carry the whole “we’re finding hope together” angle

Emma did agree to it but then still said “I’m fine” after the vidaflower scene and is now blaming herself for everything that has been going subpar

also, the tidbit about the older kids always leaving more food for the younger ones also fits this theme, though it's not just Emma in that regard. and Lani and Thoma were the “don’t burden everything on yourself” argument in that scene.

I actually think Emma has slowly become more self-burdening, because I feel like back in s1, while she always seemed strong, it never felt like she actively hid from anyone. She did some things by herself like figuring out the room measurements, but she still felt free to bring up anything to the others and involve the children (place trust in them) later with the execution of the escape plan. Even when Norman's life was on the line, she never really intended to fully sacrifice herself like Ray had with the distraction plan or Norman did with his shipment - she never said anything like taking his place, she was still very much in the "we" mindset (at least if I remember correctly). We haven’t seen her work together like towards the end of s1 where she coordinated everyone - even when the kids were a huge part of the solution, like Chris knowing the bunker’s layout, it wasn’t because she told them to do that.

In a way, I feel like Emma's development actually made her more like Norman (who usually used to keep stuff to himself, and tried to juggle all the conflicts himself, and in the end, took the burden of making the plan work even at the expense of his """"death""""). Heck, her words after the vidaflower scene ("I'm / it's okay" (daijoubu)) is something Norman says/said a lot, it's basically his trademark pff-

So I can't help but assume these are connected, and Emma is - whether intentionally or not - trying to mirror Norman because in her mind, everything's been going wrong since he wasn't there to aid them anymore (which she's actually right about, which leads me to my next point).

.

The fine line between character angst and the savior trope. I hope the anime will use this whole setup with Emma’s arc instead of just being like “ah, Norman Christ has arrived, our lord and savior, how good that we don’t have to worry about anything anymore”. Because they actually, in-universe, acknowledge that "nothing has happened" and that's imo a fine line they have going on right now, which could lead to some interesting character moments.... or they completely ignore it and thank god, our lord and savior.

Because it's not a problem that they are being carried, in fact, as mentioned before they have been carried outside of s2 as well, by Norman specifically as well too. He's always been a sort of savior figure, even after his death he motivated them to go on (see ghost Normans, see Emma talking about how she promised him, see Ray on the ground wanting to continue because he promised (to Emma too but you get the point, and Norman was the one who initially saw through his plan)) - he IS in a lot of ways, a savior. So I'm not saying it's bad narratively if now he's back and the plot moves more towards the goal again. I'm saying it's questionable, if now Emma's and the narrative's acknowledgement of that lack of progression go away too. Because THEN it's actually just "everything is solved now and we're useless without you", and I think it NEEDS to develop Emma further in order for that angle to still be there (and to still be kind of questionable), but to be narrative-ly significant because it's part of Emma's arc and therefore her later actions.

In short, Emma’s low-point revolves around the stagnation and to resolve it (the lowpoint) with Norman’s return would be questionable.

SO I have hope for juicy angst but also see how this could horribly backfire.

.

Now, I've been trying to figure out were her arc is going, considering all of that.

"Burdening everything by yourself is bad" theme

Emma hates herself for not being able to do anything

Norman is her opposite / foil in that regard

.

So possible ways to go here are

a) further make Emma feel inferior to Norman, since she never got to do all those things she took upon herself and make her mental state even worse

b) it will probably lead to Emma contributing whatever she can to her family’s rescue, no matter what it takes out of her.

likely both.

The interesting thing is that while narratively this sets up a sort of opposite-dynamic between Emma and Norman, they do both share the self-burdening-thing now (I doubt that changed about Norman, but maybe it did); so I feel like this can only end in a "who's more self-sacrificial and bottling up" contest.

.

Taking the theme into account, I feel like it’s going for one of the following things, maybe multiple:

a) they all work together in the end to reach their future (probably Ray has to bonk them both and be like "shut up, we're doing this together" because I feel like he's the only one who actually got out of his self-damning hole somewhat)

b) the kids come barging in with the/a solution while Norman and Emma are busy trying to be self-sacrificial (Lani and Thoma HAVE been observing and trying to balance the self-sacrificial out throughout the season, mostly by humor, so I feel like that could work even if I don't know how it could be DONE so hmmm)

c) if someone has to do a sacrifice like Norman in s1, it won’t be done through trickery of the others, or won't work / will be stopped / backfire

Because I don’t think what will happen is that someone actually gets to sacrifice themselves without massive consequences from the other characters because that’d contradict both the overall season's theme and if it was forced upon the others, it would just mirror s1 and show no narrative growth.

It's a fickle situation because I feel like the natural evolution of this arc would be to have Emma be, the "hero" or a leader-position or something of the sort.  But the self-sacrificial theme forbids her from doing it on her own or by massively hurting herself in the process so.... ahhh idk how they'll handle that!

because I like the "together" message it seems to be aiming for but at the same time, having a character struggle with not being able to do anything by herself in the same like 6 episodes as “yay, we need to do it together!” is a little risky since while it could work, doing teamwork in a way where everyone is important, while also not validating Emma's belief is.... hard.

It could work if Norman’s arc is the opposite, to let others do more for him and let Emma take over (who needs to built confidence as a leading figure); but even then Emma has to be driving force. If Norman initiates that, he’s actually saving her in every sense.

[thinking-in-symbols]

Quinquennial Life Assessment

So, it’s been a few years.  When I was 19 I posted a sort of “roadmap” for the evolution of my life on this blog.  Today I thought I’d revisit that.  I want to take a look back and see what progress I’ve made, and then in a separate post I want to turn to the future, think about how my vision for it has changed, and consider how I can reincorporate these goals into that vision.

This is the list of things I wanted to get done in varying time frames.  I’ve crossed off the things I’ve done to get a sense of my progress:

1 year:

At 19, my hopes were to accomplish the following things by age 20:

- Joined, and consistently participated in, at least 2 campus organizations that suit my interests, at least 1 of which should be competitive in nature - well, I joined the ISO and KVRX, my college radio station!  Neither of those were competitive, but in retrospect I don’t really care about that :-)

- Made concrete plans to study abroad - Nope, unfortunately I never did this.  I’m not quite sure I regret that, all things considered - I traded that experience for other things.  I did make plans to spend a few months abroad of my own accord, and I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for that meddling global pandemic.  But as it stands I haven’t done this.

- Learned C++ and python to proficiency - Hm.  “Proficient” is a relative term.  But I think I have a tendency to downplay my skills, so in the interest of counteracting that I’m going to count myself as “proficient” in these languages.  I think that’s fair.

- Gone on at least a several day road trip with at least 1 friend - I’ve gone on several trips with @meeshbug​, my very lovely girlfriend and best friend in the world :-)

- Decided on a concentration beyond the extremely vague umbrella of “computer science” - Unfortunately as far as my education is concerned I never really did this.  If anything my interests have *broadened* rather than becoming more focused.  More on this later...

- Made meaningful, ongoing contributions to an open-source project - You know what?  I’ve published the source of everything I’ve ever made, and I’ve gotten to the point where I can make stuff that’s not trivial.  So I’m giving myself credit for this one.

- Learned to cook enough meals to eat in most days and not get sick of my own food - I wish.  I’ve learned to cook a fair amount of stuff but I still get way too depressed and lethargic to apply that consistently.  Whether I consider myself to have achieved this honestly depends on the month.

- Learned to keep my living area clean - I’m much better at this than I was at 19, but at 19 I could barely clear a path to walk across my room.  So there’s more work to do.  More on these last two later.

- Gotten a pet - Meesh and I have a dog named Courage (after the dog of cowardly fame) and a cat named Jax!

2 years:

- Independently written a piece of software to completion and deployed it publicly - I’ve always pretty bad at actually seeing projects through to completion, but I do have a few full, independent projects under my belt at this point.  I’ve built a simple game engine, a pathtracer, plugins for games I like, and some other stuff.

- purchased and begun regularly using some basic amateur radio equipment - Ah man.  I got my license but I still haven’t gotten any equipment.  I guess I have to get on that...

- purchased and begun experimenting with some basic music recording equipment - This one I’ve done, but I haven’t done as much experimenting as I’d like.

- hosted a party - I did this for my 21st birthday and it’s one of my favorite memories!  Honestly this was probably the last time I had all my really close friends in one place.  I’m actually getting kind of emotional about that.

- done some kind of hallucinogen - I have now done this.  I definitely did get something out of it, albeit not what I expected.  This is something I actually only did pretty recently and it’s still having a pretty profound effect.  Maybe I’ll write a separate post about this.

- Gone camping with friends - Despite my best efforts, this hasn’t happened yet.  Pretty fucked up.

3 years:

- learned to play another instrument besides the piano (guitar?) - I don’t feel comfortable crossing this one off quite yet, but I went ahead and bought myself some guitar equipment and have been messing around with it lately :-) I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet and pay for lessons if I’m serious about this, which I am.

- Written and recorded a song - Damn, I can’t believe it’s been 5 years and I haven’t even done this.

- Met a group of people I can play music with - nope

- Owned a leather jacket.  I can’t believe I’ve still never even owned a leather jacket - I’ve done this and wore it frankly too much.  Kinda cringe.

- Worked as a professional software developer - Yep!  Worked as a software developer for a retail company for a couple years.  I’m actually not working as a software developer right now, though; I’m working in a sort of adjacent position.  More on this later.

- Participated in research related to my field - That’s pretty ambitious.  Not sure I’ll ever do this, unfortunately.  But we’ll see.

- Been to a film festival - Oh shit, I totally forgot about having written this.  That’s a cool idea.  I should do this, it’s not like it’s hard (well, at least in principle.  I guess covid kind of changes the situation).

- Gotten a dog - Courage is one of those, I think, although he might also be part rat.

- collected 50 records - Lol, my dumb ass really thought I was going to buy $1,000 worth of records on college money.  No, I haven’t done this, but I’m on my way there.

- Purchased a desktop computer - Well, my dad gave me his old desktop.  That’s not really a purchase but I think it counts.

5 years:

- Begun accepting freelance development gigs - haven’t gotten here yet and I’m not totally sure this is a direction I want to go in my career.  Freelancing has its own stressors as I’ve come to learn from others.  No career path is sunshine and roses and I’m trying to internalize this fact.

- Participated in a student film - Nope.  I don’t even know why I wrote this down to be honest.

- Gotten laid by solving a 5x5 Rubik’s Cube in front of a girl because surely that’s gonna have to work on someone eventually, otherwise I wasted a lot of time - These are getting weird.  Surely I didn’t really expect this to happen, right?  Well, either way I now have a long-term girlfriend, so I don’t - wait, Meesh has seen me solve a Rubik’s cube and she saw it before we started dating.  So actually I’m going to give myself credit for it.  I’m the one who makes the rules here.

- Fleshed out my political opinions - Yes, I now know everything about politics and can answer 100% of questions on political issues.  Just kidding.  But I know where I stand.

- Participated in a protest or some other kind of political event - Done!  Went to a few protests as part of the ISO, participated in lots of their events, and attended some protests with friends as well.

- Studied abroad - Nope :-/

- Learned a language other than Spanish - I took a semester of French!  But I don’t quite want to give myself credit for this one because I really would like to learn a different language to something resembling fluency.

- Run a marathon - Lmao.  I am in much worse shape now than I was when I wrote this post, and even at that time I could probably do like 7 miles if I really pushed myself.  How sad.

- Gone hiking outside of texas - This is weird because I’d literally already done this when I wrote this post.  But I’ve done it more since then, so hey!

- Been out of the country with a friend - This I had also already done.  I guess the point is to have done it without “adult supervision” or whatever.  I haven’t done this since writing this list so I guess I have to leave it uncrossed.

10 years:

- Lived with a girl for an extended period of time - Meesh 🥰

- Spent at least 6 months living on the road in an RV, preferably with a dog and a girl - God, I am so close to being able to do this.  I don’t want it to be an RV anymore - those things are expensive.  But a van?  Still pricey, but doable, especially if I’m willing to sacrifice some comfort.  This has actually been front-of-mind for a while.  I’ll let you know when I get the balls to pull the trigger.

- Started making Real Money - Well, yep, I have gotten to that point.  I do have other thoughts on this, though.  Money is weird, man.

- Lived in a long-term living space outside of Texas (i.e. not including RV time) - How long is long-term?  Three months?  If so, I’ve done this by living in Boston with Meesh for a few months after she went there for law school.  However, I anticipate staying there much longer in the near future, so I’ll wait on this crossing this one off.

- Written a book about something, idk - Not yet.  I’m halfway to the deadline on this one and I have some ideas, but ideas aren’t worth all that much, especially to me, who rarely sees them through.  We’ll see where this goes.  It’s not exactly a priority and historically I struggle to get even my priorities done.  It might make more sense to replace this with recording a concept or narrative album, for which I also have ideas that I happen to take more seriously.

- Learned to solve a 6x6 Rubik’s Cube - nope

- Gotten laid by solving a 6x6 Rubik’s Cube - nope

- Lived in an apartment where I pay all the rent - Yes!  :-))) We love independence

- Earned an advanced degree (this one’s iffy) - This hasn’t happened, and whether it will ever happen is something I’ve been thinking a lot about.  I sort of decided half-way through college that I would be totally burned out on school by the time I graduated.  But in retrospect it takes way less time to burn out on work than it does to burn out on school, and grad degrees are a different kind of thing.  So it’s worth revisiting.’

- Given a best man speech (Sam, this means you have to get married within the next 10 years.  Good luck out there.) - Holy shit, Sam, you maniac, you actually did it!  Sam got married back in 2019 and I gave his best man speech! It’s another one of my favorite memories :-) 

- Gone on a cruise with someone I’m dating - Hmm, not yet.  I’ve gone on cool trips, but none on a boat.  Maybe that’s something to aim for after the pandemic passes :-)

Retrospective:

1yr: Completed: 5/9

More than half isn’t bad!  I’m not gonna worry too much about whether I got these things done within their assigned “time-frame”.  I’m a procrastinator in my heart and I don’t see any reason to put that kind of pressure on myself.  The point is, they got done.  That’s enough for me.

The things I did best in in this category were academic things, and things to do with relationships.  I’m proud of the academic achievements, I really feel like doing them has increased my belief in myself and my sense that I’m good at the thing I’ve spent the last four years studying.  And of course, I am so happy to be in a loving, fulfilling relationship that brings so many good things into my life.  I almost feel like the things I accomplished sort of fell into my lap - of course I’m gonna do programming stuff as a programming student, and getting pets / going on road trips are things I did as a result of my relationship with Meesh.  I don’t say that to downplay the accomplishments, but I do think it’s worth noting.

The things I haven’t done are more to do with personal development, which is disappointing.  I would like to be able to say, 5 years down the road, that I’ve done the personal development I expected to do in just a single year, but maybe that’s a lot to expect.  These are problems I’ve dealt with my whole life.  I think what this means is that I can’t expect everything to fall into my lap.  Those things are going to take real concerted effort to change.  I’m not quite sure how to go about that, though.

2yrs: Completed: 4/6

Two-thirds!  Even better!

Lots of these are one-time accomplishments, not so much long-term commitments to personal development.  The good news is, I did them, and I think those resulted in some development in their own right :-)

Again, though, the things I didn’t do so well are the things that require long-term, concerted effort.  For instance, while I crossed off the one about experimenting with music, it’s really only the initial investment that I’ve really done at this point.  It remains to be seen whether I’ll be able to follow through on the commitment to actually experiment and learn.

3yrs: Completed: 4/10

This category also follows the same pattern I’ve noticed with the last two.  The other thing I’m noticing is that so, so much of my effort over the past few years has been going towards developing a very particular skill: programming / computer science.  Music and art are so important to me, but I’ve done very little real development in those areas.  I mean, I’ve done some.  But not as much as I would have hoped for half a decade.

5yrs: Completed: 4/10

This is getting a little more fun because less of my goals have to do explicitly with my degree.  I’m starting to think beyond college, which is good, because the stage of life I’m in right now requires me to start thinking about the kind of life I want to build now that I’m done with school.  Also, I’m at the deadline for this one right now!  So this is a particularly interesting category because it really shows where I thought I’d be by this time.

The goals I accomplished in this timeframe are, again, mostly things I’ve done through my relationship, but politics also feature pretty prominently on this part of the list.  I spent a lot of time reading and researching political issues during college and really did look for ways to participate.  I honestly made politics a pretty big part of my identity over the last 5 years, and I think it will stay that way forever, but I’ve gotten to the point where I think I need to devote less of my mental energy to knowing more.  I know what I need to know.  It’s time to think about other things.

10yrs: Completed: 4/11 (and counting!)

There’s some career stuff in this section that I’ve been able to do, which is good news.  I’ve always been scared about entering the working world.  All things told, it’s gone more smoothly than it could have.  But I also have lots of lingering doubts about what I want to do in the long term.  So one of the most pressing goals I should aim for is to resolve those doubts.

Ultimately, I have a lot of time left, and I’m not even done with this time frame, so I’m not gonna spend much time dissecting the things I haven’t done.  What I’ll do instead is say that while I didn’t do everything on this list, I feel proud of the things I have accomplished.  I said when I first wrote this list that it’s sometimes hard for me to feel that my life is moving in any particular direction, and I’m still feeling like that five years later, to be honest.  But looking back on these things has helped me see that I actually am making progress in my life.  Not in all the ways I want to, but that’s OK.  There’s still time.

In the next couple days I want to come back to this and reorganize this list into an updated set of goals, for the same time frames.  Maybe that will help me think through exactly what it is I want out of the next five-ten years, with the benefit of having analyzed the things that I did and didn’t do well over the previous five.

[jewpacabruhs]

bruv im still jus. wow. theres so much to say but. do u kno how good it feels... to be jewish, to accidentally fixate on one eric cartman & love him more than any other fictional character for almost seven years now, and then to see him in a little yarmulke, standing at kyle's side while he recites from the torah? do you know how validating that is?

i gotta get personal for a second here. idk how, but in the last few yrs my relationship with my own jewishness has been deeply influenced and intertwined with south park, as ironic and ridiculous as that sounds. i grew up secular, completely nonpracticing; as a child, i was only ethnically jewish, and saw jews as strictly an ethnicity, and a popularly hated one to boot. and it scared me. ive talked about it before, but as a child hearing about the shoah and about antisemitism, i couldn't understand. i thought it was looks for a while, which confused me, because ive got blonde hair and blue eyes and all my family that got caught up in nazi europe did/do too. i remember thinking as a second grader that i would've been spared for that reason; why didn't a good chunk of my family? but i grew up in a mormon neighborhood, with plenty of other blonde kids, and they stayed away from me like i had a disease. this was before puberty, before my hair got a little frizzier and my nose got a little bigger, when i looked just like any of them. but already, at age 8, i was an outsider. i wasn't one of them and i never would be, and they wanted me to know that.

and then i started to get it. it clicked even more once i got to high school and got called a kike every other day - but prior to high school, you know what i found, and you know what really pushed me towards understanding what being a secular jew in america meant? south park. and as a dumb little sixth grader with no critical thinking skills, you know what shaped my opinions on my own people? south park.

and that's good and bad. good because i do sincerely think kyle broflovski is excellent fictional representation for jewish people, maybe one of the top few ever shown on television. he gets on my nerves at times, but he's good through and through, he's well written and multi-dimensional, he's not a walking stereotype but he still has prominent jewish features that jewish viewers can look at and see in themselves, his morals and viewpoints and beliefs are obviously deeply influenced by judaism, hes deeply proud of his heritage and culture... and that all means a lot to me. and by the amount of jewish sp fans that adore kyle, it means a lot to them too.

the bad thing is, yeah, i can't deny it, during older seasons, cartman's treatment of kyle probably taught a lot of young and dumb viewers how to view jews in real life. have i, as a kyman shipper and cartman stan, justified that within a fictional and narrative context? yes. but it doesn't change the real-world effect; south park, but specifically cartman, since he's the mouthpiece, likely did cause some easily-influenced people to pick up antisemitic beliefs. did this contribute to the rise of the alt-right? debatable, but to some extent, possibly. was that m&t's intention and should south park be canceled and denounced? fuck no, i'll always love it lol, and fuck censorship. but it is something that should be taken into account.

matt and trey clearly regret that, and understand that it's no longer acceptable or fitting or needed in today's sociopolitical climate - or, okay, maybe they don't even regret it; they just understand that when fiction becomes reality, the fictional jackass isn't necessary when there's one right there in real life, sitting in the oval office, yeah? old cartman doesn't deserve or need a voice, not when real, awful people actually have one right now. and m&t are actively trying to change cartman for the better and really, really backpedal on his bigotry, while still doing it in a way that makes sense from a story-telling perspective. it's not a complete uncharacteristic change of character; it's shifting with the times and writing it into the character's arc so that it's a logical and plausible development in cartman's story.

cartman's behavior in the last few seasons is consistent character development. m&t themselves are pushing it, and clearly it's sincere; cartman's not faking. unless they're building up a surprise twist over the last, what, three to four seasons, that he was faking the whole time! woah! if so it better be a damn good pay off, because that's a lot of time invested. though that seems more forward-thinking than sp tends to be. they're intentionally stuck in the short-term, aren't they? plot-wise. but their character development is pretty long-term, and right now, cartman is consistently decent, and if it comes across as faking, it's because cartman's over-dramatic in how he speaks, and trey does that intentionally.

that's a tonal thing, and it's hard to say in a fictional character, but as someone who struggles with empathy myself, empathy and sincerity don't go hand in hand. you can lack empathy while still caring enough to sincerely and wholeheartedly apologize for something and mean that apology. not feeling remorse doesn't mean you can't apologize genuinely; the two don't go hand in hand. you can be mentally ill in any capacity, even a psychopath, and still deeply care about things or people, just not in the way someone else might. so you can headcanon that cartman's still a psycho/sociopath, though right now that's actually kinda going against canon, but don't rain on other's parades if they're happy he's exhibiting healthy growth. besides, and i repeat: what could cartman exploit out of faking sincerity for several seasons? nothing, so why bother? he wouldn't, unless it's literal in-show subconscious growth.

does that mean he's magically developed empathy? no. is it becoming less probable he's a legitimate sociopath/psychopath (while still possibly having better-disguised antisocial tendencies)? yes. does he seem to have better coping or anger management skills? somehow, yes! he seems to be legitimately healthier. does this mean he's no longer accountable for his past misdeeds, and even his present, less-severe ones? of course not! and you can still hate him all you want, but modern cartman is not the same as older cartman, and shouldn't be treated as such. because is this growth? absolutely.

he's clearly healthier, even happier. he's less angry, he's still a little shit but he no longer relies on bigotry or cruelty or anger to get the negative attention he thrives off, rather he gravitates towards being simply annoying. you know why he called ice? pettiness, immaturity, a little bit of spite, and a need for silly revenge. he's being intentionally petty, but going about it in a sly but no longer psychopathic way. less hannibal lector and more, idk, regina george, lol. extremely different on the antagonist scale. and cartman's been both.

and maybe it's personal bias on what type of human is worse within fiction, someone unstable and bizarre with violent tendencies (which is how he's come to be viewed in pop culture & some of the fandom, as a result of eps like scott tenorman must die), versus someone inclined towards pettiness and more silent and, i dunno, social-status-and-pride-driven types of revenge (cartman in general when he's not being particularly awful, tbh)... but i think it'd be pretty universally agreed that the latter is at the very least more tolerable, manageable, and even likeable - and certainly more redeemable. let's put it this way; if cartman continued on the path he was on, he'd be one of those tiki holding fucks, wearing a confederate flag hat, and he'd treat kyle soooo much worse. instead, m&t have turned him into a hypocritical false-woke ignorant dumbass - but that's strongly less problematique than it's counterpart, and it works.

because cartman simply serves a different narrative purpose now. and that's not sloppy writing; it's well-timed evolution of a character that stepped into a pre-9/11, pre-trump, pre-social media world! so much has changed, and south park is reflecting that in its characters, most notably in a character who was stuck in the, what, 1960s with his beliefs? that was fine way back when, but matt&trey are smart dudes - they understand that sometimes things have to change. besides, they love cartman, too. he's their favorite. but they understand that when real people act like him, it's not so comedic or satirical or funny, & they don't want to look at cartman, at their creation who they've invested twenty-two years in, and see the all-too-real hate of modern radical white america.

i think we know enough about matt&trey's social stances these days, and the empathy they've seemed to develop after having kids, to understand that they're no longer in their "apathy is best, everyone is stupid" phase. current south park is left-leaning and admittedly preachy at times, but i wouldn't want it any other way. g-d knows it's better this way than if they'd embraced and decided to appeal to their right-libertarian following instead. cartman's evolved in a progressive and positive way, and it's fucking dope, especially to us cartman stans who so badly want him to be good. and he is good right! he's doing so good!

and i know im up my own ass rn but yall know how much i myself have campaigned for jewish kyman/cartman and how much i just deeply and truly adore it, and to see it actualized in a canon episode to some extent? that meant the world to me. i couldn't believe my eyes. i was tellin lai - that's the most genuine, pure, almost violent happiness ive felt in my soul in years. that was like a straight shot of serotonin to the heart. that simple little scene made me so fucken happy yall dont even know. & theres a lot to be said about the political commentary and plenty of other people are analyzing that, but im a simple jewish kyman & cartman stan and boy ive been fed good fjskfkdkdkfk!!!

[procancelled]

So have you read that update on that stulid petition? It's some interesting "insider info" Idk I'm pretty sure its all BS but idk idk idk

I hadn't but I looked it up, read through and here are my thoughts on it (I actually made notes on paper). You might want to grab and snack and a drink because this is a long one.

1. Anyone can claim to be a friend of Holly or Jared. Nothing written here has any evidence to support it. If they know Holly and talk to her online I'd assume that they'd have shared at least a few written conversations. They also claim to have known and sent nudes to Jared. I don't want screenshots of nudes but conversations. Where is evidence?

2. Bringing up Holly's mental health wasn't needed, it was probably for sympathy and did they even have her permission to talk about this (if they do know her)(Also same thing about Jared's mental health. More on that later)?

3. I get that Ross wants to stay out of this, more on that in a moment, but if what Heidi has said is completely false and he and Holly had an open relationship, and he and Holly split on any kind of decent terms, and Ross had been mad at Heidi for stopping Holly and Jared's relationship  (which yeah, he's mad because his wife isn't fucking another man, makes sense(!)), and for yelling at Holly, then why would he remain silent on everything and let Holly take the heat?

4. Ross wants to be left out of this. They shouldn't be giving out all this information. Say he was aware of Holly and Jared's relationship (though I have my doubts) and that he and Holly were poly (things already stated by people involved in this situation) but any other alleged relationships he was in aren't the public's business.

5. Oh, and we're claiming that Ross and Holly's marriage was toxic for Holly now? I'm gonna be honest Ross is the only person in this situation I still really trust and respect so if he turns out to be not so great I don't know what I'm gonna do, but that's besides the point. Holly and Ross' marriage wasn't the healthiest? Well no shit if she was off telling another man she only had feelings for him and that he had awakened sexual feelings in her she'd never felt before. Shit like that is making me question if she ever actually had feelings for Ross.

6. Also, can we just acknowledge the fact that the person (I'm guessing creator of the petition) asking about the situation pushes the narrative they want and the other person just agrees with what they say? Seems sketchy to me...

7. Why would Ross be mad at Jared for being a good partner and stopping a relationship his wife wasn't comfortable with? I feel like Ross is reasonable enough and would understand (like yeah he may be a little insulted because that's his wife but he must have seen how close she and Jared were and would understand feeling weird about it). Even if he didn't, wouldn't he be mad at Heidi? If this is the truth (which I doubt) then the four of them should have sat down and talked about ground rules and just communicated more. Clearly none of them are cut out for being poly. And again, if Ross was mad at Heidi and not a fan of her see point 3.

8. The whole shit with Heidi and Cristina is speculation. Nothing said is factual, it's just what they 'believe'. Just because Cristina said a few things about Holly and she and Heidi reply to each other occasionally does not mean Heidi had a big scheme. Nate and Cristina broke up a while ago and I haven't seen Cristina and Heidi interact until recently. And even if they did talk they would have known each other through Nate and Jared working together. Unless we get evidence for this claim I'm not going to entertain this idea further.

9. Holly showed a sexual conversation Jared and Heidi had about Heidi's partner. The fact that their relationship was sexual isn't news. Also we don't know when Jared and Heidi stopped being poly. We know that Heidi wanted Jared to end his relationship with Holly because she made Heidi uncomfortable. I seem to remember Heidi even stated that she was fine with Jared pursuing someone else who wasn't Holly and then later they stopped being poly.

10. Heidi said Jared used the fact that he made more money over her. She also said that she and Jared had been together before Jared got big on YouTube. So claiming she was with him for money seems strange to me. Also, maybe not the wisest thing to bring up when Holly has brought up money struggles and when Ross was doing Grumps (and Holly's channel money went to her grandfather's healthcare) she was making less money than Ross so anyone could claim she stayed with Ross for money. See how easy it is to make claims? And this whole idea that she tried to isolate Jared and didn't let him 'have a life outside of her' doesn't seem believable when he had Normal Boots (talking about the guys not just the newish channel) and DCA. They claim she tried to isolate him when Jared clearly had many friends and was far from isolated.

10. They say Heidi 'ransacked' his house; Heidi says she went back to get some stuff she'd left because she had to move out quickly and Jared was out of town at the time. Holly tried to make it seem like Heidi wanted to go back and therefore she clearly wasn't abused. Who knows at this point? All that's for sure is Holly's claim was disgusting.

11. If Jared was so scared of Heidi, why did he make a statement about the divorce knowing that she'd she it even if he blocked her? Heidi said she wasn't going to say anything until she saw his statement and that he blocked her. It's funny to think that this wouldn't be happening if Jared had left it alone or just said they were getting a divorce and wanted to deal with it in private. Holly not responding about how she'd be there to suck his dick if she needed him would have helped too.

12. Just because you had a good experience with Jared doesn't mean everyone did. If someone jumped of a building and somehow ended up being completely fine after that doesn't automatically mean it's safe to jump off of buildings. Your personal experience doesn't not equal everyone's experience. I don't care if this helped you (which by the way just seems like a way of being like 'Jared helped me, he can't be a bad person because he helped me'). It was an abuse of power when he solicited nudes from his fans and minors may have been involved.

13. Mentioning Jared's mental health as a way to gain sympathy. Also, mental health is not an excuse. It can be an explanation, but if you do something that is harmful, especially to others, then you address it and get help. If you engage in risky behaviour then you get help. Jared could give his phone to someone else to stop him sexting people when depressed and fine other ways to distract himself. Additionally, to backtrack slightly, if you know that you are doing something that hurts others and don't try to stop; don't get help, then you are being abusive because you know what you're doing isn't right but you aren't trying to stop (this is more about Holly's behaviour in terms or harming others but Jared knew the risks he was taking in terms of minors possibly being involved and should have gotten help).

14. And lastly, let's go back to the fact that this person claims to be Holly's friend. Holly, who has proven many times how manipulative she can be; who has been called out for her toxic behaviour and lying. So can we trust a friend of Holly's? No. Not just because they may have false information but because they're biased anyway due to being her friend. Also, you know who else is a friend of Holly's? Her previous buisness partner who helped scam a cancer survivor. So yeah... I don't trust friends of Holly's.

[demyrie]

Wow I totally forgot to cry here but I love love love how you portrayed trans Shinsou in BnB?? Like maybe it's cause it's from Aizawa's POV or Izuku's instead of Shinsou's but it's just. I love it. It's not the only thing in his arc, it's not his only (very valid) concern. It's not over-mentioned and there's a good balance of acceptance and surprise from those who know like- God idk I just love that there's unrelenting support for him that isn't in his face or in the readers', it's so genuine

Oh god thank you so much. Really. It means the goddamn world to me, OH GODDDDD, because the instant that I realized it was perfect, that it was true for my Shinsou and how, I shied away from it for weeks because I was afraid i would mess it up. I didn’t even tell Rae that he was trans???? Like not until right before that chapter dropped??

So .. just … thank you. Everyone around him just loves him very much and will do their utmost to understand and support him. There will be misunderstandings and weirdness, but everyone is FOR him and whatever he decides, and not ABOUT him, and that makes all the difference in the world, and I really hope I communicated it in a way that wasn’t a Very Special Episode but also wove it into his identity and struggle in a real way that makes sense narratively.

Reflection on Trans/queer fics and headcanons and storytelling under the cut!

So here’s the thing that’s cool about being in fandom for many years and being able to see how queer and revolutionary existence grows and finds free expression within these communities and how it’s often our first time to see or just IMAGINE someone who looks like us and is like us in our popular media. It’s so encouraging and transformative to see trans characters and trans headcanons reaching the same level of notoriety or prevalence/relentlessness/joyful enthusiasm as cis gay/queer headcanons back in like the early 00′s when we (fandom) decided we could just shout “THEY’RE GAY GET OVER IT” with no further explanation and i still support that right with every part of me.

BECAUSE! Everyone could and can be gay or trans for no fucking reason, because we said so, because we need it. But Rae and i love to talk, and it’s brought up an interesting split in priority in the stories we are telling: the deep desire for normalization in “they’re just trans (stop making a big deal out of it)” vs the desire for understanding and identification and exploration in “They are TRANS!!!! OK!!!!!! >:O”. 

It’s the difference, per se, between having a Trans Hero and a hero that is also trans, which mainly depends on how the thematics of identity, belonging and the struggle reflect on and connect with the main plot. Trans or cis, most all of our queer media explores Otherness and separation because … we weren’t like other kids. We just weren’t, and it hurt, and we continue to hurt because there aren’t any people like us on screen that don’t end up dead or shamed or a lie. We are caught in the valley between people rolling their eyes that we dare claim different pronouns and be “so extra, it’s 2018 get over yourself” and being faced with massive violence and gender policing and murder for existing altogether.

So the question for narratives often is this: do we want to be like everyone else but also trans? or do we want to be trans heroes? And I think the answer is, we need both kinds of stories in our world.

We need stories that have a trans character who is just hanging out. Transness is not the largest part of their life, but neither is it a footnote. it’s like … veganism maybe. I mean, yer gonna know, it’s a part of them, but what you decide to do with that info is your own decision and may only come into play if you (following the metaphor) take that person out to eat lol lol. It carries the statement “hey im a fucking person outside of my XYZ” and … i mean hey thats fucking important and clearly some people are still in the dark about this ok.

But we also need stories with unapologetically Trans heroes – heroes whose story is one of Becoming, who struggle, and fight with themselves and others to be the person they want to be, the person THEY ARE, and the narrative reflects that and draws the ignorant in while venerating and affirming the trans reader. This will lead us into the kind of empathy that demonstrates that not only are we people, we are extraordinary, and we have something to add to the world. 

We can be heroes not despite of our Otherness, but because of it, because we see things and have seen things no one else can see, and that’s immensely fucking important as well.

Identities fluctuate in and out of the spotlight of our lives. Not to say they’re in vogue one minute and gone the next, a fad, but that some days you are a BALL of trans or queer or gay anger and you cannot IMAGINE how you are supposed to fit into this hateful ignorant and dangerous world, and your body is at its max and just can’t hold anymore pain or disappointment. Other days, it’s alright, and your body is behaving itself, and you’re more concerned with your status as Caffeinated person, or Art person, or Gonna Get a Promotion person who is also trans.

Anyway, all this to say … y’all are heroes. Be yourself. write what you want to write about people like you because every viewpoint matters and I honor your story.

My Shinsou is trans and a queer disaster (he has a crush on the entirety of 1-A) and Aizawa is very fucking proud of him. So here’s a snippet in the hypothetical Eri arc with a freshly-on-T Shinsou and his dadzawa having a conversation about what it means to be “manly” RE: the fact that Aizawa’s sweet hero husband is currently cooking pancakes with Eri and Shinsou wants to join in but is AFEARED of gender roles:

“Getting over yourself is important,”he admitted, when he’d thought for a bit. “Life is short. Do whatinterests you. You’re not going to gain anything by playing toothers’ expectations. You want to learn how to cook, learn how.”

Shinsou’s expression was serious as hetook in that bit of wisdom. Looking him over, Aizawa reached out andthumbed the kid’s head to the side, then curtly flicked his nose.Shinsou grunted.

“Also, shave.”

“Says you?” he snorted, grinningonce more. Aizawa frowned.

“It’s inappropriate for a Hero Coursestudent to be scruffy,” he stated. “You have reason to be proud,but there’s decorum to consider.”

(He’s still a hardass tho. A very proud hardass! He loves his scruffy son!!!! TAKING AFTER HIS DAD!!!! AAAAAAA)

thank you for the beautiful message anon!!! You are great!! and I’m glad it resonated with you!! I put a lot of heart into it and I’m glad you felt it.

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: The Back-Up Plan

Masterpost

5x18: The Back-Up Plan

And we’re continuing on with another great New York Arc episode.  Kurt, however, is not in this episode as much as I remembered -- though I suppose it’s quality over quantity.  I’m also slightly eye-rolly with the June stuff since it ultimately doesn’t really go anywhere.  But these last few episodes of season 5 are a lot of fun.  So, here we go.... 

June Dolloway

Okay - had to get a side shot for all of you guys to appreciate the entire outfit here.  There’s a reason he’s holding his jacket -- those are some very tight pants there. 

Alright - so I’m going to be honest about something.  I’m not a big fan of this scene.  Really, its...just a bad scene.  The writing is horrible -- and it feels like Chris is having an awkward time saying it.  Meanwhile, Darren feels like he’s just reciting lines.  I’m not going to speculate on production values here - there are just very few times when things don’t seem to work between Kurt and Blaine (Chris and Darren) and this is one of them.  (Though - I mainly blame the weird writing.) 

And really, it’s the opening few beats. And Kurt’s ridiculous expository monologue about June where he sounds like Ryan Murphy and not Kurt.  When they get to normal chatting, things come together after that.  I don’t know...  

Anyway - (I can’t still this scene, Kurt won’t stand still) - the gist is that socialite June Dolloway is around and Kurt’s going to sing for her, and enlists Blaine to help.  Because they’re getting married and should do everything together.  

What?  

This is one of those weird show things where their idea of marriage is being joined at the hip.  C’mon, show, what are you doing? At least they get points for remembering Klaine is engaged.  

And for it being an outside scene.  One nice aspect of the NYC arc is that they were able to open it up more, and it felt like a real world instead of everything happening on one school set. 

Kurt’s happy at the end of this scene.  Let’s let that be the take away from this one. 

Moral Integrity

Kurt’s getting ready for his evening of singing in front of June Dolloway.  But is this scene about Kurt? Nope! This scene is about Rachel.  

I mean, it’s not unreasonable for Rachel to take a night off.  It’s really not - that is why they have understudies.  Her producer is kind of a dick about it.  But -- yeah, it’s been a month and Rachel’s already getting bored of her dream job?  Seriously?  

Anyway - Rachel tries to validate her reasons for going off to Hollywood to book a TV show - and Kurt’s playing the role he always play -- moral compass, good angel, Jiminy Cricket - whatever you get the idea. He’s as irritated as the rest of us at her fickleness -- and points out that lying to her producer about auditioning for a TV pilot is kind of a dick move.  

Kurt is so done with Rachel at this point.  I’m now back to wondering why they are friends because every scene they have is again about Rachel, and Kurt’s beyond annoyed.  I suppose this might be some set up for Old Dogs, New Tricks, but idk... 

Story of My Life

I’m kind of laughing that they named the dance hall after June -- because NYADA apparently only has one room - and it’s the dance hall.  Man.  

Anyway - look at these cuties in complementary outfits.  Kurt’s jazzed to meet June, but I’m still not entirely sure why. 

Alright - let’s break this down a little, because I have some things to say.  

So - this scene is supposed to be reminiscent of when they did Animal way back in season 2.  Kurt’s an awkward little goober while Blaine is suave and charming.  On one level, I get it.  June’s a celebrity, and when Kurt tries too hard, he ends up falling on his face time and time again.  (It’s also supposed to be funny - but I find Kurt’s actions cringe worthy, and I don’t come back to this performance - ever.)  

At the same time, Kurt’s not 16 anymore, and has had all this training at NYADA -- that’s got to count for something.  On top of that, I’m getting tired of a narrative that says because Kurt’s not charming in the way Blaine is that he’s not able to be professional about -- whatever.  It kind of goes back to the dialogue of early season 3, but not necessarily about passing or not passing but about how good a performer you are.  

And -- my thing is -- Kurt’s voice is incredible in this number, and until they start the ridiculous choreography, Kurt’s actually pretty wonderful.  So, I wish they hadn’t hammed it up, tbh, because the June being dismissive of Kurt would be more because of those early season 3 passing/not passing conversations instead of Kurt just failing at his performance.  

(I mean - how would have Kurt been picked in the first place if he wasn’t good at performance?) 

Anyway - the scene just doesn’t work for me, though I get it’s necessity due to plot reasons.  

There isn’t much more I’d like to comment on the song either.  Other than the lines about ‘her’ not feeling it in her bones being a clue about June’s feelings towards Kurt, I think this is the most impersonal duet they ever do.  

I may be alone in this opinion - idk, I haven’t discussed it with anyone -- but I think the whole shifty eye thing June does to confuse who she’s talking to is a weird way of doing it.  It just makes Shirley MacClaine look awkward.  

I do appreciate Blaine’s honest-to-god support of Kurt when they both think it’s about Kurt, though.  And excited Kurt remains a goober.  I say you lucked out though, kid, June is kind of the worst and you’re better off not being her lump of coal - as Blaine’s going to find out.  

Old Marrieds

This is, perhaps, my favorite scene in the episode - and one of the best Klaine scenes we ever get.  Because unlike that awful first scene, this is really where the actors shine, and Kurt and Blaine feel like a couple who’s been together for a very long time.  There’s a nice sense of familiarity and connection in the scene that does make them feel like they’ve been married for twenty-five years.  I love it.  I wish they had more scenes like this together in the second half of the series. 

So, Blaine’s getting ready for his evening with June - and Kurt’s helping him get ready.  There’s a slight tension here, as Blaine’s concerned about Kurt and his well being.  And I love that Kurt’s pretty honest about it.  He’s disappointed, and slightly jealous, but has no resentment towards Blaine about it.  He’s being supportive, and cares about Blaine’s well being, too.  Kurt’s often touted as a selfish character - but it’s moment like these that I’d argue he’s really, really not.  

I kind of love that Kurt’s back to being pragmatic about June and the situation in whole.  It’s a good opportunity for Blaine to move forward in his career, but she’s not a friend - and no, she really doesn’t have his best interest at heart, and Kurt’s probably more aware of that than Blaine. 

I kind of love the other little touches in this scene -- Kurt doesn’t want Blaine to worry about him, reminds him that they’re in this together - so even if Kurt’s not there -- he’s still there spiritually, calls him handsome, and gives him a nothing kiss (which is fantastic! because we don’t get nothing kisses between the two of them -- something that’s a nice touch that establishes, uh, yeah, these two are intimate with each other on a regular basis, but don’t need to be swallowing each other whole every time they touch lips).  

It’s a great scene. 

And it ends with this little moment of sadness for Kurt.  Yeah - he is proud of Blaine, he’s sincere in his words.  But kind of like with the whole Tony/West Side Story thing - Kurt’s struggle with making it in the real world is a lot harder than Blaine’s (though Blaine definitely has some of his own issues to work through).  And this little moment acknowledges that.  It’s a nice touch. 

--

While Kurt’s not in any of the Blaine/June scenes, Blaine does talk about Kurt quite a bit.  And one thing that most definitely comes up is the show’s weird dichotomy that you can either have love or a career.  They pulled this with Finchel back in season 3 (though I think it makes more sense then).  I think it’s fine here as a bit of drama, I can see someone like June wanting to mold Blaine into something of her own - and while being completely dismissive of Kurt based on one awkward performance, if they had any extended interaction - I could see her not liking him because he’s too headstrong to let June be in control. 

While I don’t think it’s out of nowhere that someone ‘in charge’ would ask Blaine to break it off with Kurt because reasons, this is going to stop being an external conflict and more internal when Blaine lies about the whole thing.  Idk - maybe it might have been interesting to see how they deal with Blaine getting a break but not wanting Kurt - but the two of them figuring out how to navigate it together.  I get why they went the route they did -- still, the whole June thing seems a little, idk, lacking at the end of the day. 

Helping Rachel

I don’t know why - but they’re (idk who they are in this scenario) really bad with the engagement ring continuity.  Two close ups of Kurt talking to Rachel, and in one of them, there’s not a ring.  Step it up guys, really. 

Anyway - Rachel’s stuck in LA and can’t get back for her show, and the understudy fell down stairs or something, so... now it’s Kurt’s issue?  Ug.  

So - Kurt frantically tries to reach Mercedes and Santana, who are busy being awesome friends.  Kurt ends up finding them at the diner - and says that they should do a bomb threat, or bedbug scare, or claim Barbra’s doing a free show in Central Park to stop the show -- which, agreed, are all horrible ideas.  Though Chris’s comedy is top notch in this scene.  Again, I don’t know why Kurt is so stressed out about it -- why not let Rachel have some consequences for her actions for once.  But -- Maybe cause Mercedes’s good friend juice is wearing on her, Santana says she’ll step up and play Fanny for a night. 

Couch Time

I kind of like that they show Kurt and Blaine at the brownstone instead of the loft -- nice to show that they hang out in both places instead of just the loft.  Tbh, I think Blaine’s place looks way more comfortable, and has way less Rachel in it. 

But -- as Kurt says, he and Blaine haven’t been spending a lot of time together lately cause Blaine’s spending all of this time with June lately.  Kurt’s interested in the details (though - god, all the name dropping again, this doesn’t really sound like Kurt, but some middle-aged dude who cares about these people), but the point is Kurt wants some alone Blaine time, and not just because gossip.  

It’s also brought up, again, that a win for one of them is a win for both of them.  While I do think there’s some value in being happy for your partner, I think the whole joined at the hip angle is weird in general.  This show is just...weird when it comes to relationships of any kind some times. 

Kurt is genuinely happy to hear that Blaine’s getting a showcase, and would have been 100% supportive fiance if it rested there (and he is a few episodes from now.)  But Blaine lies, I think cause he wants to spare Kurt’s feelings? Cause he doesn’t want Kurt to go nuclear on June? (I would have loved to have seen that!) Blaine’s own insecurities about the whole thing? Plot? 

The point is - Blaine says Kurt has a part when he doesn’t -- which means instead of just being normally ecstatic, Kurt’s over the moon ecstatic.  And Blaine finds himself in a self-made pickle.    

As an aside, I also kinda love that Kurt does have some boundaries.  He is not up for any kind of weird cougar-ish behavior June might be trying out on Blaine.  You can do a lot of things, Blaine, but the only sexy times you’ll be having is with me.  (And Blaine is totally cool with that.) 

And even though Blaine’s already feeling guilty about the whole lie thing - I’m pretty sure they’re gonna skip the movie and go straight to sexy times.  I mean, Mercedes and Sam have already used the couch for sexy times.  I think Kurt and Blaine should get a chance, too.  :) 

And that’s it! Yeah - not a whole lot of Kurt in this one.  But, I mean, at least there are some really great moments in here.  

[zenosanalytic]

DS9: Political Writings IV: Klingon History(and Worf, Again)

So First: The more I think and read about Worf’s life story, the more similar to a Fantasy Hero Narrative I realize it to be u_u

Second: A List of events in Klingon History that, according to DS9, happened “1000 Years ago” or there abouts:

Molor rules over all of Qo’noS as a tyrant, but emphatically NOT a “Warrior-King”, as Kahless is the first of these, who give to the Klingons “the laws of honor”.

Kahless rebels against and confronts Molor, killing him, creating “the First Empire”, and beginning the Imperial Dynasty. Which: how does this make sense when Molor is already ruling over a unified Qo’noS? idk: Maybe Memory Alpha is wrong on this one <:T(I DO have a potential explanation, though)

Kahless dies or leaves.

A Group of Klingon Warriors seek out the Klingon Gods, then kill them as being more trouble than they’re worth.

The H’urq Invade and pillage Qo’noS.

The Klingons(at a far more primitive technological stage) rise up and kick the H’urq out.

Kahless gets a different timeline in TNG(and, I think, TOS) so there’s some fuzziness there, enhanced by the timeline for the Sword of Kahless which is supposed to date back 1400 years, and the imperial line was supposed to last uninterrupted for 1,100 years which doesn’t make much sense with the H’urq invasion, but regardless it makes for one heck of a busy “1000 years ago”. I find this fishy, and it fills me with the desire to headcanon neat reasons for why Klingon history seems so compacted. Some suggestions:

(Easy)The H’urq pillaged Qo’noS, stole many important Klingon artifacts, and are remembered by the Klingons as the greatest threat their culture ever faced. The memory of them marks the Klingons to the present: their word for “alien” is H’urq, and they uniformly respond to meeting new forms of life with violence, conquest, and attempted extermination. It’s not much of a stretch to assume the H’urq not only left the planet devastated but also Klingon historical records and Memory. “1000 years ago” just means “Before/during the H’urq Invasion”, which is as far back as they can reliably date most of their history.

(Sociological)The Klingons aren’t actually saying “1000 years” as an accurate accounting, but as an idiomatic expression meaning “a long, long time”. Kor’s a good source for this argument as he uses the “1000 years” construction a handful of times and outside of historical contexts; for instance, when talking about how longs songs will be sung of his, Jadzia, and Worf’s quest to recover the Sword of Kahless. Perhaps this goes further and, outside of specialist professions like Historians and astrophysicists, Klingons, as a culture, keep a more impressionistic understanding of time: “1000 years” could be like the European Medieval constructions “living memory” and “time immemorial”, or certain Earthican impressionistic approaches to numbers and distances.

So what about Molor? How can he rule as a tyrant over all of Qo’noS without having established an empire? Who are the Fek’lhri? How could Kahless leave Qo’noS for outerspace if, at the time of the H’urq invasion, the Klingons lacked starflight and so much as gun-powder-level technology?

Here are my ideas:

1)Molor wasn’t Klingon. The Fek’lhri were another species that the Klingons shared Qo’noS with and Molor was their final surviving leader, and Kahless’s conquest of them(and possible overthrow of their hegemony over Qo’noS, though given the tenor of post-Kahless Klingon society, this “tyranny” may have been a later justifying fiction for genocide) and killing of Molor was the starting-point of the Empire.

2)Molor didn’t conquer Qo’noS; he politicked it into submission. Much as the Hapsburgs were never great warriors but were excellent marriagers, Molor’s family could have engineered, over generations, a unification of Aristocratic titles within their House; an objective Molor completed through similar unwarriorly means. Kahless isn’t just a Conqueror, he’s also an Egalitarian and Philosophical figure; his contention that all Klingons have the heart of a Warrior and can lead a Warrior’s life could have been more important historically than his mythologized deeds. Kahless could have objected to this unegalitarian Aristocratic system Molor’s family manipulated to attain power, and led a revolt against it for the sake of his egalitarian ideals.

Similarly, perhaps the Klingons saw a period of State-building and Capitalism much like Humans did, and Molor was a product of this period; someone who leveraged Capital and international governance to rise to a position of ultimate authority(official or otherwise) over Qo’noS. Kahless then could have been something of a renaissance figure, one who masked a radical egalitarian message within an appeal to the “glorious” feudal Klingon past, who led a rebellion against Molor and the order he represented, defeated him and it, and drastically changed the course of Klingon history thereby.

Given the mythic quality of these stories, perhaps “Molor” didn’t even actually exist, but was a later narrative personification of Kahless’s philosophical foe, Capitalist Aristocracy or Blood Aristocracy, in this cultural revivalist movement. The Kahless narrative might even be mythologizing this cultural struggle, though built around real people and real events(which would jive with his whole “Klingon Joshua(Jesus)” vibe). The problem with this idea, of course, is why would he keep the Houses? Maybe he couched his rebellion as a return to their more egalitarian past? There were -in very rough summary- two major legal bonds in Feudal Medieval Europe: kinship, and vassalage. Kinship’s your family; they’re expected to take care of you, and you of them. Vassalage was more mercenary: a Vassal agreed to follow you and protect you in exchange for protection and wealth. Perhaps he appealed to something like this kinship dynamic in the history of the Houses? That Trek writers chose to call them “Houses” is very convenient to this headcanon owo

3)This is the one I like the best. Basically: a lot of this stuff did, actually, happen at roughly the same time. Molor was either a H’urq or a H’urq collaborator, and the Fek’lhir were the troops he was given to keep Qo’noS pacified; the later separation is basic historical drift. These troops may have themselves been collaborators, and the similarity between the name for them and the name for the Klingon warden of the Hell for the Dishonored Dead(Gre’thor) could be taken as a sign of this: these are the Most dishonorable and terrible people in Klingon history, so terrible as to be stripped of the name “Klingon” and remembered only by the most despised, shameful, and feared name the Klingons have to give.

When the H’urq invaded, the Klingons were despondent, and a religious movement began, slowly moving among the scattered Klingon survivors(such processes of cultural “flattening” tend to be seen among peoples faced with more organized and destructive societies; the Sun and Ghost Dance movements are two examples from Native American history), to hunt down their gods, ask why they let this happen, and demand their aid. The story of the warriors killing the gods mythologizes this movement, and its failure. Kahless may have been part of, or an heir to, this movement. With the unhelpful gods “killed”, Kahless begins preaching that the only thing that can help the Klingons is themselves; that “You are Klingons. You need no one but yourselves”. He begins building a resistance. Molor and his Fek’lhir eventually begin hunting for him, a task of escalating difficulty and importance as his movement gains momentum. Qam-Chee was the turning point in this resistance, wherein Kahless and Lady Lukara(his lover, and possibly an ally from the old Aristocratic Houses? Qam-Chee IS also their wedding, afterall) lured Molor in person to a chosen battlefield with the promise of their vulnerability, then sprung their trap and slew him. After Qam-Chee, the collaborationist regime fell apart and the H’urq occupation was exposed directly. The Klingons take the fight to the H’urq colonialists, no doubt in a Metal as Hell war involving bat’leths and looted laser-rifles/hover bikes, and finally drive them off.

The nature of anti-colonial rebellions, especially those consciously built around a single charismatic figure or story, tends to promote hierarchical, inegalitarian political structures in their aftermath. Thus the empire: while Kahless was an egalitarian figure, the building up of him as THE Movement and the militarization of society(with it’s related “discipline”) created a structure where he, and those closest to him, essentially dictated strategy and policy to the wider rebelling masses(one could draw an interesting parallel from this period to the Klingon practice of promotion through murder: collaborationists and spies could be anywhere, and in a struggle for survival incompetence can’t be tolerated. Only Kahless is “Unforgettable” i.e. “Indispensable”). Reinforcing this process is the historical fact that interaction between polities will naturally lead to borrowing and emulation, and the more intense the interaction(such as occupation or war) and the more unequal the polities(such as between a State and non-state society, or Invaders and the Invaded), the more intense the emulation will become. So, simply by fighting off the H’urq, the Klingons would have become more like the H’urq they experienced; more rapacious, more violent, more colonialist, more hierarchical(because all colonial regimes are justified by a hierarchy of conqueror and conquered and, as extractive schemes, tend to also be top-down to maximize profits), more Imperial.

But here’s the thing: Kahless never ruled. In “The Story of The Promise”, he leaves the Klingons once his work of uniting them and teaching them the ways of honor is done. Which means, since the Imperial line is descend from him, that the Imperial system, while potentially rooted in the necessary dictatorship of the rebellion’s military struggle(quick note, “Emperor” comes from Imperator which literally translates roughly to “one who gives orders” -ala “perEMPtory” and “IMPerative”- and was originally a temporary military dictatorship Rome granted in times of severe military threat), was built after he left, by Lady Lukara and his children.

So: Kahless united the Klingons with an egalitarian anti-colonial, anti-aristocratic message, destroys the global collaborator-state set up to rule over them, then drives the H’urq off Qo’noS and cleanses it of remaining “Fek’lhir”(collaborators), then never rules because he leaves the planet. Kahless was no ruler; he was a warrior and a warleader. If we’re going to go this far headcanoning Klingon history, we might as well headcanon that they manage to capture at least one functional H’urq ship, and Kahless -with a select band of warriors- went after them to insure they could never again threaten Qo’noS and its people. Perhaps the Klingon’s “early” possession of warp-technology in the 1940s was also the result of finally reverse engineering old H’urq technology, or perhaps finding a new, functional, derelict.

Anyway, there’s my present take on Klingon history :p