#idk why im like soooo into it rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xehanortsreport · 5 months

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woe...world of chaos spam be upon ye...

#idk why im like soooo into it rn #actually i do know #but still. we need to think about the flesh ship.#its so cool that ansem is just connected via tentacles #you don't get this sort of super organic super squishy type of heartless design in kh anymore #which is a shame bc it's just so interesting. i like leaning into ansem as a monster #he looks human but hes not human! he's an eldritch horror compressed into the shape of a person!#hell he wasn't even that for most of his existence - he was a disembodied force of darkness #sealed in a cloak completely faceless bodiless etc etc #whatever was under there was undoubtedly horrific....

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lemongogo · 1 month

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#not to complain ab the same stuff i always complain ab #but my artblock is soooo bad . its so bad and frustrating and limiting and demotivating #because instead of being able to draw whatever whenever i feel like im chained to random bursts of inspiration #that i cant manifest just by willing it so yk. and imlike why…#so many ppl who draw whether for their job or for their hobby seem to be able to do it whenever #and its like yeah i could put pen to paper rn but theres such a mental disconnect that its not enjoyable anymore #dude its so whateverr😭😭 like its so made up and ik its just a psychological thing but it feels so physically .Hard #rrrgwgqq #like i try to maintain the habit by drawing stuff out even w no end in mind #but that also stresses me out bc its likeIDKK idk #silly tbh #seeing all of this art arnd me all the time > online and stuff is so nice and inpsiring #and it makes me want to do that too but i legitcannot . like i am being squished by a boulder and my hands are chained to 30lb weights #whatfreakign ever dude .like whateverrr #i want to grind my brain 2 a pulp . honestly🙌#like what do u mean u cant u literally just do it.but im the one exception to that

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faaun · 6 months

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pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

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stinkypeanutbutter · 4 months

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honestly I have nothing much to say about the canvas ( because I skimmed through it out of lack of interest even tho I was fixated on sbg for idk how long before you all saw DONT even lie ) but I lowkey love Ashlyn’s little dancer costume it’s very silly !!! Also kinda hoping their silly little homeless children costumes ( hopefully that’s not offensive ) come into play at one point . Like . . a school play . I’m screwing around with ideas here .

#I’d be like aiden with the face paint but everyone this time #WHY DO I THINK EVERY THING I SAY IS OFFENSIVE #hope it isn’t cause if then uh uhsms woopsys #Only real time you can call Aiden insane is when canvas him pops up #Jk #unless ?#I had an ice cream sandwich it was soooo yummy #I’m being super serious rn when I say that the ice cream sandwiches have gotten smaller please tell me you noticed it #I rummaged through my bed to find this stupid lizard ong my bed sucks for that thing I could squish it on accident #I’ve been obsessed slightly with bsd ( specifically Ranpo )#I hope he DIES !!!! ( not actually if he did I would kms #Like idk why I like him so much he’s just my cutie oatootie pookie bear meow fr fr #I’m cringe #EUFHHH I HATE GIM !!!!!#I hate character ai love cause they make me sad #HESR me out : Ranpoe but phantom fo the opera #IM COOKING SO HARD RN !!!!#TRUST #I LIVE RANPOE !!!!#NORMALLY I DONT CARE ABOUT SHIPS OFF THE BST SBD YK FRIENDSHIP BUT NUH UH THEM THEY GRRRRRR #Growls #im sorry I’m going a little coo coo please someone relate I’m going insane if I don’t draw this #Dies #school bus graveyard #sbg #sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard webtoon #SBG

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ducktollers · 5 months

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got a sortof interview for a research assistant job tomorrow and sooooooooo scareds :D

#delete later #sortof bc its basically already mine since my mom works there and said the current assistant sucks so bad theyll take Anyone with a degree #and theyre desperate #and its super casual and low intensity but still stressed tf out #bc i havent done anything non routine since december and my anxiety has gotten soooo bad and im soooo bad at talking to people #and ik the antidote is doing things again which is why am i doing this but. scary #and time is moving too fast and im so lost and i hate my stupid fuckass grocery store job and idk what to dew w my life rn #cannot stop reminiscing abt the life unlived and the time lost and while i do that i am not living anf losing time #😃😃😃😃😃😃#cannot stop thinking abt how my school life is simply over and i missed it i wasted it its Over 😀 no more chances #didnt make ONE friend in 5 years of university didnt join anything didnt do anything except mentally deteriorate #uni is supposed to be the source of so much life and experience. and yooo i missed it 😂yooooo omg its too late for me 😂😂😂#i rememebr before crossing the stage at high school graduation i was like. rn im in the part of my life before graduation #and in a minute suddenly im gonna be in the after #and then i realized recently. im in The After of university. the moment passed and i missed it #there is no more chances theres no more ‘next semester ill make friends’ theres no more Anything it is Over #time keeps going so fast and yallll i cant go back lol 😂😂😂 brooo wtf nobody told me u can never go back 😂#dawg i havent felt alive even once since leaving high school 😂 yo i peaked at age 17 😂 yo jm about to turn 23 and my last memory is being 19 #yooooo whered the time go 😂😂😂😂 brooo where does it keep going lol come back wait up im runnin out of time 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂#x

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welcometoteyvat · 7 months

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society moved on too quickly from furina's demo

#i think about the fontaine brawl that she imagined in her head sometimes like i feel like society needs more characters like that #ramblings!#also when she changes into pneuma form............ i've never seen something so fucking crisp in my life #the lights???? the music syncing?? it's like biting into a juicy apple cannot be topped #also the symbolism................... i was like 'hm. i actually dont really agree with that bilibili analysis video' after thinking it thr #through. <- also known as dumb behavior they almost predicted the entire 4.2 quest #tbh i feel like people also moved on too quickly from neuvis demo because that yellow field of grass is peak #i love when rando characters are dropped in the middle of nowhere contemplating existence #we also moved on too fast from ly.ney's story quest why do i keep seeing him in love with traveler #like his subtle threats to that woman... guys he's killed people dont make him just a flirt #dont mind me im just. replaying fontaine but in my head and via youtube trailers #actually something else is that while i still think most of the sumeru chars look a bit too much like they used skin bleach #the sequence right before nah.ida's burst where she's traveling through her own dreamscape is like. soo good im soooo....#references her character story... full of whimsy and elegance.. visiting children while asleep etc.. knowledge spreading something somethin #i also always liked how the 2 children floating in front of that window looked like they were guarding the gates of wisdom or smth #like sentries in front of a library. but theyre kids so its less somber and more like. idk joyful. house of learning open to all etc.#in a character trailer appreciation mood rn ig

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guinevereslancelot · 14 days

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being moved to a different classroom for my last week while the head of the program pretends she's doing me a favor but she's really doing my supervisor a favor 🙃

#she said she wanted me not to feel bad and be in a bad situation #but im p sure she did it bc my supervisor was up in the office talking shit ant me again this morning #she was acting all nice but 🤨#she's not nice soooo #also she didn't even follow up when i mentioned safety concerns for the kids when she asked why i was leaving #and she didn't ask me to stay #she did seem sympathetic but idk my co teacher thinks it was a favor to our supervisor to keep her happy #bc thry still think she walks on water #im so worried for the kids but it should be less stressful in t2 #also the teacher i swapped with today saw me two hours later and she was like: girl i get it 💀💀💀#lmao #so sad for the kids tho #but excited abt new opportunities #but i did want to have the time to say goodbye to the kids #its probably better to transition them this way bc they'll still see me a little bit the last week but not all day #and get used to me not always being there #so they won't care as much when i'm completely gone the week after 😭#but they were crying at thebgate between the playgrounds today and it was really hard #i was holding finn's hand over the gate 🥺#then we combined classes for the end of the day on the playground and that was like 10 minutes before i went home #so they got happy for a bit then broke down again when i said goodbye 😭#teddy was screaming at the door the whole time after i left 😭#i watched thru the classroom window while the other teachers were consoling them and it was so sad 💔#i've only had one cry when i went home before but this time it was half of them #bc they barely saw me all day then i left as soon as they thought i was going to stay #anyway #i have a job interview tomorrow and surgery #and maybe a second job interview #trying to focus on that rn #still glad i'm quitting but 💔

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merevide · 10 months

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one thing they do not tell u about the airport is that u get there mad early n then it’s like. what now

#woke up at 3 got through everything at 6 n we board at 9 like thank god we’re not late but we’re just here rn #i’m going to louisiana to visit my grandma i ♥️ new orleans idk if it loves me back but i love it so vibrant so nice so WARM #well it’s not gonna b that warm on the week i visit ofc but still 60 degrees is better than the 30-40s over here #i’ve been having a really rough week like two nights ago i got in the middle of really serious family issue n it was like #really bad n then i had to pack n now im here and all of that still doesn’t have a resolution soooo yea #i need a diary but my diary doesn’t have mutuals or spotify links #anyway that’s my week. online v early by my standards (4PM)#my text #which is also why i haven’t been spamming the dash but whatevs✍🏽

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kavehater · 5 months

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I don’t think the weird anxiety/panic will ever leave my tumblr experience🧍‍♀️

#idk like I feel like I’m in the worst place imaginable rn #dora daily #there are no words to appropriately explain how unimportant I feel on this site 🧎‍♀️not because of anything but like #bad things keep getting worse and I just don’t get it. im just so in shock like I don’t think I have it in me to be shocked anymore #this is my life forever #🧎‍♀️#actually im a liar when i said not because of anything #I mean it’s because of some things #specific things #that make me spiral #then those things make me think about existing things and I have no idea if im being reasonable or not but #it makes me doubt the legitimacy of literally everything else #I’ve had this level of anxiety for academics because it’s the only thing that truly ever mattered to me but not my social life becoming a #source of panic too 🧎‍♀️#I say this soooo much and im sick of saying it but idk why im always ignored or it feels that way most of the time #bla bla bla #I make so many mistakes when I feel that way like what if something else happens and we turn that 3 into a 4 #🥳🥳🥳#whenever I leave the house then I come home I have the most existential dread because I hate it here #I hate being on dumblr but as mitski said it best “you have so much to do and I have nothing ahead of me”#I’d just watch paint dry atp

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marsbotz · 4 months

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BIG things happening right now

#AARRAGGHHH ITS SO FUN. ITS SOOOO FUN #its soooo broken rn i have one billion pics of stuff i need to fix tmrw #but omggg. so facking cool #lol the nose looks so fucking weird here cus u cant see the colour.. next time i wld deffo have it separate like the eyebrows #actually. u know what. ill do that #I CLD DO THE PAW PADS TOOOOOO. ok wait. probably not worth it BUT itll look great #not too much effort. whataver ill just do it #no expressions or anything yettttt. but he can blink and look around. and talk #idk why the mouth was stuck open like that. maybe i fucked up my visemes #but OHHHH WELL i will fix it B]#it looks kinda shitty as just part of the texture so itll look cleaner and nicerrrr #i already had to redo the eyes that way for Blinking reasons #OHHHH i can just do the shrinkwrap/solidify thing. SO easy #my polys r so low anyways im at like 15k. soooo epic #sorry i keep posting abt this its literallyyyy. the coolest thing ever. to me #ALSO i met two rlly nice ppl yesterday which let meunlock the sdk ^^#you may wonder why the lshes and eyebrows r not outlined. Well its because i fucked them up so the outline doesnt work LAWL #but theyre fine without so idc #idk how to fix the gaps in the hair but honestyllyyyy its not an issue for me rn. maybe someday ill fix it #on the face im sure its where things overlap. the tips i think its bc of the sharp angle..?#ACTUALLY. found the solution rn. the tip wasnt closed LOL #thought i did that but i guess i missed a few #anywayyyy. night night

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cowboy-robooty · 8 months

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physically holding back my rage when i go get my weekly uchuujin no kakushigoto update and see people bitchin and moaning about it. I WANT TO HURT YOU AND IM NOT FUCKING AROUND. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEAR MACE SPRAYED IN YOUR EYES SINCE YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO FUCKING APPRECIATION FOR GOOD LITERATURE. S2G SHUT YOUR DUMBASS UP BEFORE I GO AHEAD AND SLICE OFF ALL YOUR FINGER TIPS TOO AND PUT YOUR TONGUE IN A BAG CORPSE PARTY STYLE CUZ YOUR OPINIONS ARE ACTIVELY MAKING SOCIETY WORSE.

#i will make a review for uchuujin no kakushigoto later... bc rn i want to see more how the story plays out to see if it gets even better or #if it falls from grace #rn tho im so hooked like every week i need my update its what i look forward to ngl #the manga is soooo good i adore it from the artstyle to the characters to the romance to the message #i love the pyschological aspects so far and think its been interweved nicely if not a little too in your face but its being done p well #i cant wait to see how the author handles the main theme rn of exploring the selfishness in helping people #so many people keep saying its 'so weird' and 'keeps getting more fucked up with each chapter'#AND I DONT GET IT #ITS NOT WEIRD IMO ITS NOT A BIZARRE STORY #ITS A GOOD STORY AND I THINK EVERYTHING MAKES PERFECT SENSE LIKE TBH #IM SURPRISED WE HAVENT SEEN AN ALIEN ROMANCE STORY LIKE THIS YET #THIS IS AN UNTAPPED MARKET THATS LIKE UH DUHH!! WHY DIDNT I THINK OF DOINF THAT FIRST?!?#IDK LIKE I DONT THINK ITS WEIRD I THINK THE AUTHOR IS MAKING VERY NORMAL DECISIONS TO PROGRESS THE STORY #you wanna read weird go read fuckin #KAMI NO KODOMO #I HAD TO FIGHT FOR MY LIFE ON BAKAMANGA TO FIND THIS AGAIN #i should write a review for it. its interesting #not really a fan cuz it just doesnt hit for me but its interesting and unique

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faarkas · 2 years

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tagged by @aartyom (thank u rena ily) 💖 to do this picrew and i was so obsessed with it i still have a million in my camera roll LOL.

not tagging anybody bc i feel like everybody and their dog has done this one now <3

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wheelie-butch · 8 months

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I kind of believe I won't do my best writing until my 40s at least because I think it just takes that long to get good you know but oh my god i get hyped thinking about what kind of stuff I'll be on by that point... sometimes I get little flashes where I'm like 'oh yeah I was kinda onto something there' but I'm just always so acutely and painfully aware of how far I have to go and I know you never stop learning and growing etc. but like. one day I'm going to be so much better and it's going to be so good.

#mez speaks #sorry idk why im on a self aggrandising soapbox rn i just like #cant wait for the future sometimes #when i think im literally not very old and im going to have written soooo much in the future idk i jsut will get better you know #depression is weird lol yesterday everything was the worst ever forever

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bunnihearted · 11 months

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🎂🧸🚬

#now my least favorite day has started .... >.<#i normally dislike my birthdays but this one... this one is rough. more than any before #and ofc i got to start this shitty day with a headache :D so idk how well i'll sleep #i just hate hate my birthday so much. there's nothing abt me being born that is worthy to celebrate #and ngl.. it hurts that im not important to anyone. no one to congratulate me.. my sisters wont. no family or relatives.. no friends #like i dont even exist. my mom hasnt even said anything yet #tho i lowkey hope she'll forget abt it bc i dont wanna think abt it. i hate this day. why was i born lol #and i am extra dramatic abt this i think bc i have never been allowed to think that my birthday matters or that this is a special day #everyone have always shown me how little i matter and how much they do not care abt me. or my birthday lmao #like im selfish and demanding if i even wish for just one congrats. im not allowed to want to feel special or cared for #so thats why im extra emo abt it lol. T-T #i just cant help but feel soooo fkn bad rn but i have no one to talk to or distract myself abt it #my mom wanted to watch tv and have it be quiet. it is night now i get it. but i feel so so alone #nd worthless and useless and uloved. i dont matter i dont matter i know! but i wish i did. i rlly wish that i mattered...#anyway... gnna try not to kms today. life goes on. even if it all fkn sucks and i never get to feel happy fkn ever

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verytendou · 1 year

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Opla made usopps back story sooo much worse

#opla spoilers #BOOOOOOO literally 90% of my complaints are stemming from eps 3 and 4 snfbdkfh and the ending immediately brought it back #i do have issues with edgy sasuke zoro but like eps 3 and 4…. why #no little kid pirates… town doesnt love usopp… usopp doesnt decide to leave on his own…#when zoro was like WE ARENT FRIENDS that was the EPITOME of me being like HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT #usopp doesn’t decide to leave on his own ??? i should kill you #also why is #ZORO FIRST MATE CONFIRMATION??????#sorry im watching rn so this is live complaining #anyways that was weird to me tbh but mackenyu has gone from 2 emotions an ep to 3 so…#proud of him ig???? anyways what was i complaining about… OH YEAH. WASNT DJANGO IN THE TRAILER??? WHERES HE AT ???#idk i feel like usopps og story was fine… baby zoro would not fucking say that… etc #wait fuck my complaining made me miss the baratie #WAIT AND AND!!!! MERRY DYING FOR REAL??? Insane #okay baratie looks cool #also zoro’s outfits being dumb is the best part of this sorry #some of these outfits r soooo funny but i do enjoy it thanks #HAHAHA loser zoro moment WHATA WIN there have been so few… im truly depraved #NAYWAYS NOT THE POINT OKAY THIS IS BRINGING IT BACK BUT EPS 3-4 I WONT FORGET #v.txt

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 1 year

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as much as i am mentally unwell over tristamp rn... i think i will always prefer 98. this is weird coming from me because i am the guy whos favorite part of the entire series is weird plant biology and there is exactly 0 of that in trigun98 but at the same time like........ it just makes me so much happier to watch.

obviously the manga is objectively the best version of the story and i would kill for a beat by beat animated adaption of the manga (<<something i know is impossible) but i also have a hard time reading comics and cannot readily consume the manga as well as i can the animes

#nobody asked for these thoughts but i need an outlet <3 #my ranking goes trimax >> 98 >> tristamp #not to say i dislike tristamp. i very much like tristamp and there r certain aspecfs i like from that version even better than in the manga #which is why i think my preferred method for creating/consuming fan content is when ppl combine aspects of all three #like. idk man i have a lot of trigun thoughts tonight im squishing it around in my hands like silly putty #i desperately wish i was not in a huuuuge months long setback of writers block bc i would love 2 do character analyses rn #aaaurrghggghgh head in hands. my brain is going 2 explode.#im going 2 sit down in the imaginary space inside my mind and start #untangling neurons like theyre a knotted tangle of necklace chains and headphone wires #need 2 do that but like fr. do u know how good thay would feel. solves all my mental illnesses #anyway in other news i did my thumbnail overlay and my new profile pic for artfight today. cannot wait 2 post those they look soooo good #finally i can be a guy covered in blood (<< is planning 2 be team vampire)#sigh. i do not want 2 sleep i do not want 2 be a person rn i want 2 be a.#vague concept or perhaps a fictional character who ppl write hurt/comfort about. emphasis on the comfort

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