#idk. i need professional help but i was searching costs like

[xamaxenta]

Adds idea number 4629273 to the list of things i would like to do but i probably will not end up doing

[writingforatwistedworld]

How to NOT get screwed over when getting a new job

Ok, some of you might be “Uh... Why is this on a fanfic blog? (and where is a new fic? It's coming.)” Why I am addressing this is because I know that some of you are at that age when you search for a job.

Before I start, some background info: this was my first job. My parents were always supportive of me since one of them is an immigrant who knows how hard it is if you don't have the right papers in the right country. So they agreed on helping me financially until I had graduated. You know, so I have a good chance of getting a decent paying easy job. I am no genius so they also wanted me to focus more on studying than some sort of side thing happening in my life.

Now, I am not going to say here who my employer is since I signed a paper not to share stuff about them on social media. I am not violating my contract by not saying who they are since it can not be traced back to them. (Already messed up enough that I have to say this but ok, moving on.)

The first red flag was actually already present when I signed my contract. (Crazy, right? Bad employers doing a shady job since the beginning.) So I sit there , doe eyed, singing it. The person who was the representative of the company, in my case, more or less flew over the most important things but didn't get into details. My first advice: Nope. This is not good. First red flag.

Go into detail. Ask them specifically how many hours per week can be added with or without your consent. Some companies are a bit more relaxed and allow you to choose whether you want to work longer than you signed up for or not. Now, the guy said something along the lines of “You could”. Yeah, no. I always have the long shifts and from what I can see, everyone does. We are all overworked and are in desperate need of more hands. (I am not going to be advertising them. Don't worry. They even want to cut costs by not hiring any more than the absolutely necessary minimum of workers. And they wonder why peeps go on strikes...)

The second is, he was awfully relaxed in his way of talking to me. Not in an “I'm relaxed because today is a not-so-busy day” but in a “we are friends and this is a big family”. A bit too much like he was an old friend. This had been a bit weird for me since the beginning because, well, the guy literally decides whether I am getting hired or not. Shouldn't he be a bit more, idk, professional? But I noticed sooner than later (to be exact, one week after I started working for them) that the guy was simply trying to butter me up. Not in the typical way of companies roping in workers. No. He had to do this because otherwise there wouldn't be a single reason why you would start working there.

I talked about that point with one of my friends. They have a bit more experience with finding jobs and they explained to me that such “buddy-buddy” strategies are always a red flag for them. If a company is good in what they do they don't have the need for such a thing. They have a more professional way of recruiting and whilst a joke or two might be made they are by far not mostly made out of relaxed chit-chatter.

There might be even more factors that I don't even notice being at play here. But he made me sign a contract that 1. makes me to work even longer than I signed up for on some weeks (like, way too much but I am not allowed to speak about details here) and 2. pays me less than I was promised. Heck, I even had to call the German taxing department or however you call it in English because they even put me in the wrong tax-paying class. Now, if this was a small company then ok, not cool as well but at least you could push all of that on the fact that they are so small and might even be inexperienced that they make mistakes but (and a huge reason why I don't lose a word about who they are) such a huge company? They make at least MILLIONS. This is also why I avoid getting into a fight with them. If they were to throw me in front of a judge then I wouldn't be able to keep up with them. They have so much money that they can literally buy themselves out of a situation.

I hope this helps you if you are searching for a new job or are right now on the lookout for your first one.

Stay safe and healthy! (Pardon me if I made some spelling errors. I wrote this on my phone.)

[into-control]

Into i need help. I bought a oculus quest 2 right and i tried to connect it to my laptop and it wont work so I realized i needed and actual pc gaming setup you know, problem is idk anything about PCs and i dont wanna get scammed. Can you help me? Ive looked online and idk wtf im looking at tbh. Can you give like advice and shit lol 😂 love you into 💕

well i'm not a professional at pcs by any means but i've always had a huge fixation on them so i can try to help as much as possible and i'll even try to put it in simple terms. fair warning, i talk A LOT in this post because i love rambling about computers :') i tried to use the simplest terms possible since you seem confused but if something doesn't make sense just ask and i can try to reword.

it all depends on what you want out of your pc. and do you want to build one or get a prebuilt one? if you want my advice i recommend building one. getting a prebuilt pc is the easiest way to get scammed because retailers tend to overcharge and they think they can get away with it because they stuck a flashy high end graphics card and colourful lights in it even though it has shit airflow and they cheaped out on the motherboard and power supply or something like that. if you're going to get a prebuilt pc make sure you look at allll the specs and consult some online reviews to see if they're any good, and figure out if you're going to be overcharged. now i'll talk about building one. a lot of this will still be useful if you're considering buying a prebuilt though.

the very first step is deciding your budget. idk where you are but in USD the typical amount to spend on pc parts is i think like $1000 - 1500 (you can spend less but that's if you don't have a lot of money to spend and are still desperate to have a gaming pc). i'm spending around $1700 CAD (before taxes, eugh) on mine bc i want to get into more demanding games eventually. it sounds very costly but computers like these can last you a decade and are very multifaceted. figuring out your budget first instead of going right ahead and buying stuff is important because each component should take up specific percentages of your budget. another important thing to consider when deciding your budget is if you want RGB (the colourful lights as previously mentioned), because components with that capability are slightly more expensive.

after deciding your budget, your first move is deciding what graphics card (GPU) you want. the GPU is responsible for processing and presenting the visuals on your screen. theoretically it should take up between 35 - 40% of your budget because it is the powerhouse in a gaming system. you have two developers to choose from here: NVIDIA or AMD. from what i've seen people tend to prefer NVIDIA but AMD cards aren't bad and they definitely compete in performance. i'll talk about nvidia though because that's what i know more about. by searching up the oculus quest 2 system requirements it tells me you at least need an nvidia geforce gtx 970. this card came out in 2014 and is by no means bad however it is actually the same base price as a lot of newer cards. if you want to go better than the minimum requirements, first consider what your monitor is capable of. if you don't have one yet, consider what you want it to do. monitors are not considered a part of the budget i keep mentioning by the way. idk how much this matters to you since we're talking about the oculus quest 2 but i'm just kind of assuming you're going to use this pc for other games too. the main two things to take into consideration are max resolution and refresh rate. my monitor has a resolution of 1920 x 1080 and a 144hz refresh rate. what the resolution means is that there are 2,073,600 pixels in the screen, and can go up to a resolution of 1080p in video games. the refresh rate means the monitor can refresh the picture on the screen 144 times a second, therefore can show a max of 144 frames per second in a video game. to put that in to perspective, most screens have a refresh rate of 60hz, such as regular laptop screens, iphone screens, etc.. monitors come in mainly 60hz, 75hz, 144hz, and 165hz, and for resolution they mainly come in 1080p, 1440p, and 4k. seeing as i don't have any plans on upgrading my monitor any time soon, dropping extra money on a GPU that can achieve more than 144fps and 1440p/4k would be pointless. but forget about the monitor, the oculus quest 2 has a max refresh rate of 120hz and its resolution lies somewhere between 1080p and 1440p. if you know what kind of games you're going to be playing, look up how they perform with different kinds of cards. i'm fairly certain anything above an nvidia geforce rtx 3070 would be pointless because of your display limits, and anything below the nvidia geforce gtx 970 simply won't be enough for the system. you can look at all the GPUs ranked here. after deciding which GPU you want you need to figure out which brand of it you want (NVIDIA themselves, asus, gigabyte, evga, etc), because they all perform at slightly different levels, although the difference is usually only a few frames so it's better to save money. something to watch out for is the quality of the fans in the GPU because if they aren't good, it will overheat and underperform. i'm aiming to get a 3060 or 3060 ti, if that helps. the only problem is that there is currently a worldwide GPU shortage due to covid, tariffs, and the cryptocurrency mining boom (gpus are used in bulk to mine). fortunately there is currently a crypto mining crackdown happening in china, where majority of mining in the world happens, so the demand for GPUs will hopefully start going down soon. you wont be able to build your pc right away but the market is looking better than it has in awhile. this is just about the only argument i have in favor of getting a prebuilt pc, because they have GPUs in them and are more readily available. i don't think that's a good enough reason though especially since part of the reason i'm building my pc is because it looks fun lol. another thing to note is that you should not overspend on your GPU. the shortage has caused a lot of GPU prices to skyrocket into the $2k-3k range but none of them should be above 1k except the highest end ones. when deciding on a GPU, search up the manufacturer's suggested retail price (MSRP). cards made by brands other than AMD and NVIDIA will almost always cost a little extra, but do not pay hundreds of

extra dollars. but anyways!! the GPU is now out of the way and is definitely the longest paragraph here because it's the most important part.

next up is the central processing unit (CPU), which you should be spending about 20 - 25% of your budget on. its job is essentially to retrieve instructions from the RAM and execute it. i suppose you could call it the brain. again you have two developers to choose from, this time between intel and AMD. i've had two laptops with an intel CPU and my current one has an AMD CPU and both are very good, however the general consensus is that you can get the same performance for less by going with AMD. CPUs have cores, and each core can run its own process. the more cores you have, the more your pc can think about basically. you can get CPUs will all sorts of amounts of cores but for gaming, 4 or 6 cores is all you really need. 8 is actually already a bit overkill. so you really don't need to get the best CPU out there. the one you get should depend on what GPU you get (hence choosing that component first). you don't want to bottleneck your GPU by getting a CPU that isn't good enough for it, but bottlenecking your CPU with the GPU by a small amount isn't as big of a deal because the goal is to allow your GPU to be used to its full ability. another detail about CPU is clock speed, which determines how quick it can complete tasks. the higher the faster, obviously. my (non gaming) laptop's CPU clock speed is 2.30 GHz and has 4 cores. the cpu i have for my build is the AMD ryzen 5 5600x. it has a base clock speed of 3.7 GHz but it can be maxed out to 4.6 GHz, and it has 6 cores. the oculus quest 2 has a minimum requirement of the AMD ryzen 5 1500x or the intel i5-4590, which is a little low on the performance list. but like i said the CPU should depend on the GPU. all it takes is a google search for which CPU goes best with the GPU you've chosen and you can find several answers depending on if you want the best possible performance, best budget performance, etc.. a nice little fact about choosing AMD over intel is that most AMD CPUs will come with a stock cooler, which is absolutely necessary otherwise your CPU will overheat (this is another thing prebuilts will cheap out on). this only adds to the whole price-to-performance thing. the stock cooler will most likely do unless you push your pc or want the build to look prettier.

next on the list is a motherboard, where all the parts come together in unity. you should spend 8 - 10% of your budget on this baby. it's easy to over and underspend on a mobo. the most important thing when it comes to choosing a mobo is that it supports your CPU. you cannot use the same mobo for intel and AMD CPUs. fortunately the product page will straight up tell you which CPU brand the mobo is meant for and will typically have two versions of the same board. it's important to note that motherboards don't always have onboard wifi, meaning it wont be able to connect to the internet via wifi and instead needs an ethernet cable or an external wifi adapter. if you can't get an ethernet cable to the room where you want your pc, you're going to need onboard wifi, or a wifi card/usb. onboard wifi mobos tend to be more expensive so it's up to you, but i personally bought one with wifi included so i wouldn't have to worry about it because our ethernet cables are in the basement and i'm upstairs. another very important thing about motherboards is that their BIOS version (operating system i guess?? idk how else to describe it) doesn't always support your CPU out of the box and must be updated before using it. this can present as a problem if you don't have another CPU to perform the update with, however some motherboards allow you to 'flash' the BIOS with a only usb drive as long as it's hooked up to power. there are plenty of step by step youtube videos about how to do this. i will have to do this with my motherboard when the time comes because it doesn't support ryzen 5s out of the box. don't let this deter you from getting a certain board as long as it has a BIOS flash feature. next up is what I/O ports you want, which are the ports (usb ports, headphone/mic jack, hdmi port, etc) you'd find on the back of any desktop computer. that is the side of the motherboard. basically just be aware of how many of each ports you want, and remember that there will probably be even more ports on the front of the case you get. the last thing i can think of right now is making sure your motherboard has all the headers (where you plug components in) you want it to have but i'll get to that later.

next up on the list is RAM, aka random access memory. this stores short term data. the amount of RAM you have kind of determines how much your pc can multitask. RAM sticks typically go up by some multiple of 2GB. most standard laptops and desktops nowadays will come with 8GB of RAM, which is enough for day to day use. it can be enough for mid and low end games however it cuts it pretty close most of the time. 16GB of RAM is the sweet spot for gaming and anything above that is pretty much overkill (and once again a waste of money) as long as you don't have a billion unnecessary background processes. a large amount of RAM is typically needed for video editors or computer programmers. you should always make sure your motherboard can support the amount of RAM you want although any good motherboard will support 64GB or even 128GB. the best option is to get a 16GB RAM pack, which will include two 8GB RAM sticks. splitting RAM between two sticks will increase efficiency. this is called dual channel. i also recommend getting DDR4 RAM, which is simply faster than DDR3. a good speed to have is around 3600 MHz. make sure your motherboard supports DDR4. you also want to be weary that your RAM is compatible with your CPU brand because they do have to interact for your pc to function.

next is storage. there are three-ish options here depending on how much you're willing to spend. generally you should spend 8 - 10% of the budget here. you can always get a good ole hard drive for the cheapest, however they are the slowest and physically biggest option, meaning whatever you put on it will take a bit longer for your pc to retrieve and open (they can load about 100-200MB of data per second). the next option is a solid state drive. they are a little more expensive but can load as much as 600MB of data per second and take up less space. the last and most efficient/expensive option is an m.2 nvme drive. these things are physically absolutely tiny and can load up to 4GB of data per second. anything you put on these will open very very quickly. the fairly standard solution for this is a combination of two of these three. personally i'm using one m.2 drive and one hard drive. the hard drive i have can store 2TB while the m.2 drive can only store 256GB. funnily enough these two drives are roughly the same price. the idea here is to install your operating system on the faster drive. this makes it so it only takes like 8 seconds tops for your pc to start up. you can also put any other programs you use most often on there (like your main browser and favourite games) and they will open very quickly, while the bulk of your games and other files will go on the bigger drive. that's all there really is to say for storage, just make sure the reviews are good on the drive you want to get, but that goes for any component.

next is your power supply (PSU). very very important to not cheap out on this. 6 - 8% of the budget should go to this. the function of the PSU is to do exactly what its name implies: supply power to all the components. this is where the website pcpartpicker can come in very handy. not only does it help you build a list of parts that are all compatible with each other, it will also estimate how much wattage you will need to run your pc. 600W is usually enough for a normal gaming pc. PSUs are ranked, and you should never really go below a bronze ranking. you can also choose between non-modular, semi-modular, and fully-modular PSUs. non-modular PSUs have all the cables permanently attached. this can be desirable to people who are confused by what cable is plugged in where but also undesirable as unused cables cannot be removed and make cable management harder. fully-modular PSUs come with the cables all in a separate bag so you choose which ones to plug in. semi-modular power supplies have the necessary cables attached and the rest can be attached need be. it all depends on preference and how much faith you have in yourself. i have an 80+ gold certified fully modular 750W PSU because the thought of unnecessary cable management makes me sick lol. corsair is pretty much the most trusted brand for power supplies. be careful because this is another place prebuilts will cut corners.

now for the case! this one isn't overly difficult to choose and mainly will just appeal to your aesthetics. it's less important to stick to a precise percent of the budget for this one but you also don't want to spend more than 8%. do you want a black case? a white one? do you want a glass side panel so you can see inside your pc and admire your hard work? besides that, you also need to make sure the case is big enough for your motherboard, GPU, and PSU. most info pages for cases will tell you the max size of the GPU and PSU and what size of mobo it's meant for. you also want to make sure there is a place to put your storage drives (unless you only have m.2 drives which are installed on the motherboard). you also want to make sure it has optimal airflow abilities. a case with no airflow will cause overheating. the best ones have mesh fronts and tops to allow cool air to be pulled in and hot air out. it's even better if you can get a case that comes with fans in the front, because they are what pulls that cool air in.

next is the CPU cooler, which i briefly mentioned. if you don't get an AMD CPU then you'll need to buy a separate cooler. you can choose between air coolers (a fan and a heatsink) or liquid coolers. i don't really have much to say about them and i recommend doing your own research on liquid coolers lol.

last but not least, case fans. like i said a lot of cases will come with front fans and also an exhaust fan at the back, however you might want more, or even replace the ones you already have with better ones. pay attention to how many fans your case manual says can fit and plan accordingly. check out reviews to see if the fans you want are quiet and efficient. if you buy a three pack of case fans there is a chance it will come with a fan hub. this makes it easier to control all of them in sync because the hub will connect all the fans to one header on the motherboard. generally 3-6 fans are pretty good for a gaming pc. two or three in the front pulling in cool air, one at the back and two on the top to pull out hot air.

now that i have all the components out of the way i'm gonna talk about RGB lighting. numerous components that i've mentioned have the option of including LED lights to make your pc brightly coloured, which is always nice if you have a glass side panel on your pc. it's an extra bit of money but i personally was willing to sacrifice that because i want to show off my build lmao. motherboards, RAM sticks, GPUs, CPU coolers, and case fans are the main components that can come with RGB lighting. you can also get special LED strips and power connectors designed for PCs. if you decide to go for RGB lighting, do try to stick to one RGB ecosystem, meaning make sure all the RGB components can be controlled by one program. RGB is controlled by your motherboard. for example if you get an asus motherboard you'll probably want to use their program, aura sync. most components can be controlled by any brand's program however if the motherboard itself has RGB lighting it can only be controlled via its own brand's program, along with the GPU. if you want RGB case fans you really have to make sure your motherboard has RGB headers (the thingy on the motherboard where you plug the fan's LED lights into). most motherboards will only have two-ish RGB headers so if you're going to buy a bunch of fans make sure they come with a fan hub, which lets you plug them all into one header on the motherboard. also, never sacrifice performance for RGB. specifically when it comes to GPUs. if you have a choice between a GPU with RGB and a GPU without RGB, always take the one that has better performance (given it's within the parameters i mentioned earlier).

that's all i have to say :) if you couldn't tell i really love this stuff. i will also recommend you watch youtube videos about this, you can see the build process and the reasoning for using each component, and also tips on what to do and what not to do. i hope this helps and wasn't too confusing. i know you said this is mainly because you got an oculus quest 2 but if you're going to get a gaming pc you should definitely consider games outside of the oculus too.

[remodelspokane]

A Wiki? Remodel-Spokane.com and J&S Construction Spokane Coeur d’Alene

Found what looks to be,,IDK, maybe a wiki on us over here at: Remodel-Spokane.com -&-  J&S Construction ----  

   But I cant exactly tell what this is LOL  Guess when you put yourself out there on the web like this, you never know what people will write or say about you.  So CHEERS to this guy and whatever he was trying to say :-)    

Signed:_ J&S__   

Check this out:

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[lemonaderaid]

hufflepuff-rave, abuse, and the missing husband thing: from her ex friend’s point of view

this is about whole “abusive wife”/”missing husband” situation, and what i know about mel (dillon’s abuser and wife) through being her close friend for 5+ years. it’s a long post, so there’s your warning.

here’s another ample content warning for abuse, misgendering, gaslighting, and general...drama? i guess? here we go kiddos!

after this post, particularly with this reblog went pretty viral both on here and on facebook recently, i figured it was my time to step up along with my friend, @jackstoney , and personally come out in support of all of the abuse accusations that have been made against mel, as i was one of her closest friends for 5+ years.

as jack did in his post, i’m simply going to be referring to her as “mel” because i would prefer that she NOT get stalked, harassed, doxxed, etc. as i said, i used to be her friend, and thus i still do have some regard for her and her mom’s personal safety and privacy despite the fact that they’re bad people.

to make my stance on dillon himself quite clear from the outset, i was always fed really varying information about him from mel herself. as exhibited by her blog, if you go and search “dillon” and scroll back a bit far, you’ll see that she has wildly varying, black and white perspectives about him. that’s how it was when we talked, and that’s how she is about seemingly everyone; particularly her ex boyfriends. if you search “brayden” or “jackson” on her blog, you’ll get pretty similar posts. the point is that i don’t know what’s true or false about dillon’s life and personality, i just know the information she’s told me or that i’ve seen on her facebook or tumblr. as i said, we were friends for 5 years, and i knew her before she ever met dillon.

as jack explains pretty sufficiently in his post, which i linked above, mel has a very obsessive, very clingy and overbearing personality, and a high probability of mental illness associated with the drastic lengths she’ll go to to keep someone trapped in really any kind of relationship with her. THIS IS NOT INHERENTLY A BAD THING. i’m not a professional, and i won’t make an armchair diagnosis based on what i know about her, but i will say that she’s never mentioned to me anything about trying to improve and work beyond her numerous issues. (unlike how she is presently trying to pin a schizophrenia diagnosis on dillon after only speaking on the phone to a doctor herself, ONCE.)

i felt this way when i was friends with her, very much so. this sideblog of hers, particularly these three posts (1 , 2 , 3) are about me, and the fact that, while we were friends, i decided to do matching icons with my still-current boyfriend on facebook. this happened on a couple of occasions because we found neat looking icons and, since we were, yknow, partners, we figured it’d be cool to match for a couple weeks. as you can see by the posts i linked, mel didn’t like this. at all

here’s another sideblog of hers that she made for dillon to post about her...let’s just call it unhealthy obsession, as shown pretty well by this particular tag. WARNING: some very nsfw stuff is on here

here are a few texts i have from her to me talking about how, despite having NEVER ONCE spoken to my boyfriend and actively refusing to talk to him even though i said i’d like them to meet, she’s extremely “possessive” of me

little unimportant note: she refers to herself as kyle and me as stan because she was really into south park, and she saw those two characters as having a similar relationship to ours

coming from a person who has bpd (me), this all, to me, rings very familiar and relatable bells in my head. keep in mind i’m not accusing her of having it, but coming from someone who is very overprotective of their friends and datemate(s) (frank and i are poly), this all sounds like the reasoning my brain tries to do with itself when anyone befriends a person who gives me “bad vibes”. the thing is that i don’t actively silence my friends or whoever from talking about a person that makes them happy just because of the fact i don’t know them. this is something she NEVER tried to avoid doing. she was always upfront with me about how much frank unnerved her, despite never meeting them and ignoring their attempts to try and assure her that they weren’t trying to take me away.

the following screenshots are about the decision jack made to break up with her shortly after he’d gone back to california to try and look for a job (his post has more necessary context, but the idea is that he was basically trying to make more efforts to get his life to be stable and not go completely broke, and needed to break up with her seeing as her clinginess made him incredibly worn out).

unfortunately, i don’t have that message i sent to the group chat anymore, and i’m afraid i don’t remember what i said, but i know it was a pretty long message about how her coping methods to get over jack (i.e.; getting back with dillon) wasn’t actually helping her and i could see her mental state going to shit

now would also probably be a good time to mention some of the other things she’s done, but i don’t deem to be as relevant to this particular situation such as purposefully misgendering me (using the wrong pronouns, calling me her “sister”, making and getting me heavily gendered gifts she knew i was uncomfortable with), and frequently trying to make people stop talking about their interests and focus on ONLY hers instead, at all times. i do have screenshots of one particular instance of this, but this post is long enough and i feel that those complaints about her character would detract from the main point

long story short, as i’m sure you all are confidently aware at this point, mel is a horrible, manipulative, abusive, and toxic person and SHOULD be avoided at all costs. though I myself am concerned for dillon’s safety at the moment, as no one’s really quite sure where he is, I think that ultimately he would’ve been more unsafe if he stayed with her, judging by these screenshots of his brother’s comment on mel’s facebook post:

EDIT: i forgot to blur out his brother’s name when i originally posted this, and an anon pointed out to me that i probably should, so i did! please respect dillon’s family’s privacy!

i’m very happy that dillon chose to try and run and escape. i’m concerned for his safety right now but i hope he turns up soon, safe and sound, and away from mel forever.

i’d like to personally apologize to dillon, if he ever ends up reading this post somehow, for being extremely judgmental and distrustful of him because of the information mel was feeding me. i don’t know how much of it is true or untrue, but despite everything, i hope you find peace wherever you choose to go. i’m happy you got out. i’m proud of you, i’m proud of jack, i’m proud of myself, and i’m proud of anyone who chooses to break away from an abuser to start over. it’s hard, but you can fucking do it.

if you ever see this, please feel free to get in touch with me if you need help. i’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot, if you even knew very much about my existence to begin with; but i sincerely hope you’re doing alright now. -bre

oh yeah, and to mel,

fuck you.

in closing, i’m gonna leave you with the final message i sent to mel to cut off our friendship, cuz i feel like it might end up helping someone going through a hard time with their abuser? idk, but i can always hope. here it is

[blogsvitlanafan-blog]

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[originaljediinjeans]

MCU Rewatch: The Avengers (2012)

I cut out a lot from the individual character metas but it’s still pretty long and IDK how to summarize, maybe just read the bolded text for some of the juicier points

LOKI: Unpopular opinion, I do not believe that Loki was directly mind-controlled by Thanos. I don’t care if it’s “canon.” However, there is no denying that Thanos hurt and tortured Loki. Whatever he went through, it was bad enough that Loki agreed to cooperate. But Loki thinks he 100% deserves a planet to rule of his own after being kicked out of Asgard when he was the “rightful ruler”. (Who thinks that when they’re being mind controlled, really?) He must have done some real persuasion to convince Thanos that he could bring him the Tesseract and that he would not fail. But even then the Other is really hard on him. Loki is doing someone else’s bidding and he knows it. And he tugs at the leash. But he’s “come too far”--been tortured too much--to fail.

Loki as the villain of this film is perfection. And the scene with Natasha blows me away every time. The montage during his speech just syncs with it perfectly. Poetic cinema, as they say, but in the most literal and professional sense of the phrase.

My headcanon ever since the first time I saw this movie is that Loki can read the minds of Midgardians. Even if Barton told him everything (which I might not sure is even possible), Loki being slightly psychic is still cooler. Loki in this movie is freaking SCARY. (but that’s why he’s great, give Tom Hiddleston an Oscar already, Hollywood what is wrong with you?)

Who is the Other? He kind of reminds me of the Mouth of Sauron in LOTR. Is he another sick, twisted sycophant who believes in Thanos’ cause? Of course. He is proud to represent Thanos, and what’s more, acting creepy and giving people poetic threats is his way of doing his job: intimidating people into cooperation. Well, not like it matters much. I laugh every time I watch GOTG and Ronan kills him.

Coulson’s murder made Loki a murderer

I love Loki but I still want to punch him for what he did to Barton and Selvig and not to mention Coulson and just doing lots of bad things for bad reasons and I hope when I do punch him that it hurts, I don’t care if he’s a fictional character I’m going to punch him

THOR: Asgard must have some kind of dope intelligence system. They knew about the Chitauri–they didn’t know where they were from or who they were working for, but they knew enough and Thor knew enough to figure that he’d better get Loki before it got out of control. Also, the rest of the universe knows that one  paramilitary organization on a small planet was experimenting with an Infinity Stone a really powerful energy source to use as a weapon. So Thor going to Midgard isn’t just about getting Loki: it’s making sure that a world under Asgard’s “protection” isn’t overrun by an invading army. And don’t forget, Thor has officially designated himself the Earth’s protector–he’s willing to share that responsibility with the Avengers, after these events. Willing enough to go search the universe for answers about the Infinity Stones. Maybe after Infinity War he regrets that.

Thor admits to Coulson for being embarrassed for himself and his people because of all the destruction and chaos Loki has caused

The moment when they’re in New York and Thor and Steve are taking a break–that’s when they bond. Other people see Steve Rogers as a mere wooden soldier but Thor recognizes a kindred warrior spirit. Thor and Steve’s friendship is criminally underrated and has a heinous lack of screentime.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: I have to admit, on this viewing Steve’s characterization seemed a little wooden to me. But it makes sense if you keep in mind that Steve is under stress about being in a new place and time. 

I’ve always liked Steve’s uniform in this one, even though it’s not very popular or not as “cool” or practical as some of the others. What I dislike, though, is the helmet. The more it’s off, the better.

Steve actually doesn’t deal with stress that gracefully 

I hate to say this, but Steve walks away from this movie with a deep-seated mistrust of Tony Stark and it’s only going to get bigger and get worse

I can’t help thinking of this famous saying: “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, rather than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

All of the above considered, Steve Rogers went through a lot of crap during the War. And it wasn’t all just fighting Hydra. He must have led the Commandoes on other not closely related missions, too. But he’s been in a lot of different situations. He knows how much bad there is in the world. He knows what kind of people want to take over the world. That’s why he isn’t taking crap from anyone. 

And even if Steve isn’t psychic he sees right through Loki. Steve and Loki don’t get much screen time together but Loki knows how Cap feels about him and it bugs him. And that’s why Steve is so pushy about wanting Tony and Bruce to stay on task because he knows Loki and Loki’s accomplices are up to no good and they need to stop it 

Cap actually has been on some pretty bumpy plane rides.

I agree with the fandom that it is unfair that someone as young as Steve (only like 25 years not counting the ice) is pushed into a lot of leadership positions. But he gets called on to lead because he has that wartime experience. He knows how to lead a team, he knows how to fight battles of all sizes. And being a leader, Steve knows when and when not to trust the people in charge. I think Tony takes a cue from him when he deals with Loki.

IRON MAN: Between Iron Man 2 and when Avengers opens, Tony is actually Living his Best Life(TM) with Pepper and the fact that the events of this film ends it forever kills me. 

When he sees the portal open and the Chitauri coming out, the response “Right–army” sounds cute but he’s genuinely terrified. He’s already bruised from his brief encounter with Loki when he literally flies into the Mark 7.The longer the battle goes, the worse it gets.

The Nuke: Tony made his fortune building/designing weapons and then he stopped when he saw that they were being used to kill innocent people. The government ordering a nuclear strike on Manhattan is horrifying to him. He figures out a good way to get rid of it and stop the Chitauri. He doesn’t let go until he’s absolutely sure that it’s over, regardless of the cost to himself.

Summary: Tony goes from being in a good place to a bad one. There are some things even shawarma cannot cure.

Tony already knows Bruce Banner’s history and has studied his scientific work. Tony already knows about all the crap that Banner has been through. Tony relates to what Bruce has been through. He validates both the Hulk and Banner. The science bros are actually a really big deal and they mean a lot to me. 

I am so glad Pepper was in this movie and I am so glad that Pepperony exists so help me if the Russos kill off Tony in Endgame–

Steve and Tony really almost got into an actual fight in that lab scene. They really did. 

I never got the line “We are not soldiers” until this time around. He’s referring to those airmen in Afghanistan who died in vain to protect him from the terrorists that kidnapped him. He doesn’t want to think that of himself, or anyone else of the Avengers, or even Coulson. I wonder if maybe to an extent he can’t deal with the guilt or the mentality of going to war. Golly, figuring that out is a gut punch.

THE HULK: I don’t really feel like there’s much to say about Bruce this time around. Except that I’m so proud of him for actually going to Calcutta and helping people who needed help. I’m glad that SHIELD wanted him for his expertise and not just the Hulk. He is happy to be used for his knowledge. And meeting Tony Stark was probably the best thing to ever happen to him. 

Even the Hulk cares about Tony–the Hulk likes Tony Stark/Iron Man better than he likes Bruce Banner.

BLACK WIDOW: Natasha has a legitimate fear of the Hulk and it’s actually kind of incredible that she did get past that. If there was something in this film about Natasha’s fear versus the Hulk that was supposed to be continued in Age of Ultron, bad writing killed it. Either that or there wasn’t enough exposition.

There’s an implication, with how Natasha is the first of the big 6 shown, how she’s asked to go find Banner, that Fury and Coulson kind of looked to her as a leader or co-leader for the Avengers. Would her responsibilities include bringing and keeping them together? Yes.

Natasha still thinks about the big picture during the battle. She knows that her teammates have limits. She knows what they’re up against. 

I think she does get kind of scared when she’s riding the Chitauri chariot thing and she’s trying to control it. It’s not an easy task and there’s also speed and the risk of falling.

Clint and Natasha’s relationship is amazing. It’s one of the best things about this movie and it’s a travesty we don’t really see this again in the MCU (holding out hope for Endgame). They talk and fight and work together like they’ve known each other for years. She looks up to him because he helped her change her life. And now he looks to her because she saved his.

HAWKEYE:  I just…need more Clint Barton in my life. Seriously he is so cool. Like he really needed a stand-alone movie in Phase 2. He just deserved better period and by that I mean more screen time. Maybe it wouldn’t have worked for him to have been in Cap 2 but he needed something.

COULSON: Agent Phil Coulson is the heart and soul of this movie. 

The Stark Tower visit: Pepper calls him “Phil,” she notices that he looks shaken (even though it’s hard for even me to tell). She asks Phil about the Cellist and Tony offers to even fly him out to Portland to see his SO–do you know how much plane tickets cost that is huge. It is more than safe to assume that Phil has kept in touch with Tony and Pepper and even come over to hang out. Like enough that Pepper can read his moods. Good grief Pepper must have been destroyed when she found out.

Despite the initial bureaucratic unfairness, what if Coulson has kept in touch with Jane and Darcy? Maybe been a liaison to SHIELD for them. Did he suggest to SHIELD that they recruit Selvig?

Coulson is naturally a friendly person, and Thor is comfortable enough with him to talk about his concerns about Loki. Like they are friends. Like THOR WATCHES HIS BROTHER STAB AND KILL THE SON OF COUL, CHAMPION OF MIDGARD, AND HE WILL LIVE WITH THAT FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. 

If Steve Rogers thought he’d escaped the Captain America fans boy was he wrong

But more importantly, Captain America is Coulson’s hero and Steve knows it. When Coulson dies, Steve knows that it was because he was trying to stop Loki and that Coulson was a good man.

Do you see why I want to/am/should be writing fanfiction about Coulson?

Coulson also knows Nick Fury very well. I would go so far as to say that on a certain level they are like brothers, even. Gosh they better get quality screentime in Captain Marvel! 

Of course Coulson has known Clint and Natasha for years, maybe even as long as they’ve been at SHIELD. You hear the concern in Coulson’s voice when he tells Nat that Barton’s been compromised. It’s redundant to say this but it’s audible. He knows what Clint means to Natasha. He’s probably one of the 5 people who know about Clint’s family, maybe Phil is friends with Laura. And it’s implied that he has a personal relationship with Clint. 

TL;DR Phil Coulson genuinely cares about the Avengers individually and as a group. He probably knows about Steve, Tony, and Banner more than they know each other by the end of the film. He knows that they’re the only real line of defense. He knows that the guys and Nat are capable of doing great good. He believes in heroes .Nick Fury tells them as much in his pep talk and for dramatic effect he uses the cards. Subtext: Coulson cared about you guys. He believed in you. And he wanted you to go kick Loki’s butt. Phil Coulson just really cares about people no matter how well he knows them. And I love him for it.

NICK FURY: Knowing what we know now--because Coulson and Fury will be in Captain Marvel which takes place 15-ish years earlier--Coulson and Fury in this movie already know that there are bad ETs and they play rough. Even after the Chitauri are finished, Fury knows that this is just the beginning. He may have even suspected that Loki didn’t get that army on his own. That explains why Nick Fury asked the World Security Council to approve Insight. And the Dark Elves in Thor TDW may have made it more urgent.

You have to keep in mind, though, that Nick is under pressure from the Pinheads on the World Security Council and Hydra sleepers working under him

Nick is no stranger to pressure, however. He knows what he’s doing. 

“I was playing something even riskier.” Riskier than weapons because people with superpowers can’t always be controlled or at least do what you want or even ask. Riskier because he suspects (rightly) that they won’t always get along. And that if they do disagree they may turn on each other. Riskier because people with superpowers cause destruction, sometimes more than they can fix. But always less than they prevent if they can do their job. 

The events of Civil War may not have been that surprising to him as he watched from a distance wherever. He may have been quietly rooting for Cap. Or even worked with the Secret Avengers...where was I?

(Not that he doesn’t love Tony)

I actually appreciated Nick more on this viewing

Nick Fury is, in fact, the Main Character of The Avengers. We just didn’t realize it until now.

SHIELD AND MISCELLANY: I may need to watch this movie again soon because the peanut gallery that is My Family made it kind of hard to watch

But one of my brothers suggested why not have Cap hook up with Maria Hill? I admit it’s intriguing but they don’t actually have that much interaction in this film or in CATWS. Ships have sailed on more shallow waters but I don’t think this one floats for me.

The soundtrack is perfect, a great blend of dramatic epic themes with spy movie beats, with some chilling backdrop music to set a sinister tone for Loki.  Alan Silvestri’s best work.

THE AVENGERS THEME MUSIC IS MAGNIFICENT, IT DESERVVES AS MUCH ATTENTION AS THE STAR WARS THEME 

Infinity Stones do what they want. 

Infinity Stones are also connected and that might be important in Endgame.

This is still one of the greatest superhero movies ever made. Still one of the best movies ever made period. Granted, you have to have seen the other movies for it to make any emotional sense but The Avengers is a masterpiece. Every character interaction has weight. Every detail is connected. The storytelling here is matchless. That’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it as fact. 

Age of Ultron was just so “bad” that the rest of y’all forgot how good The Avengers is.

I would love to see this movie on a big screen again one day. Maybe a summer drive-through. It might be the only MCU movie besides GOTG that would be appropriate for that.

Jane Foster isn’t stupid y’all. She would have figured out something was up when SHIELD shipped her to consult at a remote observatory. The moment she saw Thor on the news her suspicions would be confirmed, when she heard about Coulson and Loki she would be even more hurt and confused about why Thor didn’t even at least look her up to say hello

The Original 6 Avengers are bonded in a way but they’re not really a family. 

Actually they are but they aren’t at the same time, it’s hard to describe. Even when they spend more time later and build a working relationship they aren’t quite the family some of them think they are. Some of them are part of each other’s families but they’re not really a solid unit. Age of Ultron and Civil War split them along the subgroup lines that are already there.

Eric Selvig looks like a mess when he comes out from the mind spell. Is he ever okay again?

The guy who found Banner in the abandoned hangar may have seen aliens before.

While Thor opened up the MCU to “other worlds” it was really The Avengers that established that there was an entire UNIVERSE beyond where the Avengers were from--beyond even Asgard and its conquests--full of worlds that had lots of alien races--and plenty of them could pick a fight with a puny blue planet of people with relatively primitive technology if they wanted to. I think GOTG establishes that most don’t. But some still do.

I really don’t think there’s anything to compare with being on a movie set where Robert Downey Jr has been turned loose.

I still think Loki should have had that drink and I hope he did

Coulson might one day forgive Nick Fury for doing what he had to do--but those trading cards were in near-mint condition. Sheesh.

Well, that’s down to ten pages from around what could have been sixteen.

[mentalillnessmouse]

I've got paranoia but idk if it can be helped. All the possible treatments i can find boil down to "convince yourself the paranoia thoughts aren't true." Well wtf are you supposed to do when your paranoia answers every bit of proof with "that's just the lie they want you to believe." It's like trying to disprove flat-earthers. You could take them to space to see the globe with their own eyes and they'd say you'd just brainwashed them. I can't out-think my paranoia so how tf do I treat it?

hey anon,

treating mental illnesses isn’t a task that can be done alone. with more extreme cases of mental disorder that have psychotic symptoms (such as paranoia) you should really be seeking out professional treatment. for myself in order to control my psychotic episodes medication was the only way.

there is no way to treat this alone and all the tips we have are on coping with them and should not be used without consultation with a professional.

here is some advice we have on getting and talking with a doctor.

This post on picking a therapist has some great tips.

This is a step by step on getting a therapist.

Psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist or counsellor?

What should happen in a session

5 Tips on how to talk about yourself in therapy

Need to find a therapist by location? Psychologytoday lets you search by city or zip code in the USA, Canada, or UK.

Can’t afford therapy? No insurance? Need low cost options? Here is a great list of ways to get help when money or insurance is an issue.

Here is a video Demonstrating what a first therapy session may look like made by a mental health professional.

7 things to do during your first therapy appointment

~maya

[haeroniel-doliet]

gah another 5 am post eh fellas

fuck i really wanna do ballet. i really rarely become obsessed (if ever) with anything, but for once i’m so so so so soso wanting to do ballet. so bad. i know i might hate it bc im fucing not musical at all, so not in shape, so not comfortable or etc. but at least im 18,(wait fuck 19 now)  and not 45 trying to get in it all stiff and stuck and i think based on all the sweet positivity to adult ballet starters beginners and sure i wont perform professionally but fuck man i dont think i need that. i just want that grace and flexibility and elegance and gah itd be fabulous. i mean even now im pretending to look for turn out and walk around the house like they do in point shoes and i try fix my posture tothe advice by a ballet dancer youtuber who ive been watching so much of. i just i really wanna do it. 

saddest fucking thing is guys, that i could’ve had the chance to go to the fucking royal ballets adult absolute beginner classes. in london. i could have. fuck. u wanna know what happened? i found out about it like a month or two ago and was fucking psyched bc its one of those things that just is too good to be true. the best company in uk?? w adult classes? while im in london?? yeah id have to miss a few weeks bc. whoops i gotta go back up to do my exams,but i couldve at least done a few weeks, come back and done a few last so i’d have had the best opportunity to give this a go in the best environment and then have a kindling to go off with to other available ballets. and not start with some barely managing person in a shitty studio thing. idk. sure so i tell my parents so fuckin excited bc look! its possible! but yeah its expensive, wouldve been abt 90 pound w me being a student and id have to miss 3/10 classes. but still! thin of it gah its making me so sad happy. sad bc guess its now sold out. of fuckin course it is. i told my mom and she just was uhmm ohh i dunno i dunno, oh its adults i could do it, and thinking that maybe getting her involved would mean i have a better chance of going, dont care much for her company but if shed take it as a bonding thing hell, i’ll probably do better than her in class and minor confidence boost as well as if they all others are old old i wont be alone. and she could pass over what they learned when im up in scotland. Guess that was a fuckin mistake. she got all nervous and self concious and put it off with a we’ll see we’ll see about it im thinking. and making it a whole thing like instead of me wanting to go so bad and offering for fun that shed join me, as if im trying to pressure her into doing it and would only go along to make her feel better. uh.... fucking wrong! im so mad actually. bc of course, no matter how often i mentioned it she wouldnt take it seriously to even consider booking me in! no no of course not we’ll see. and then i check before im coming back, dreading and being right that yep. theyre fucing sold out. of course they are its such a fanstastic opportunity! my only fucking opportunity! when ever again am i going to live in london with weeks free to go participate in that? when ever again? never. theyre moving out of london this summer and fuck. just doing some research and the scottish ballet is in fucking glasgow. yes i was supposed to get there if i hadnt been so shit with studying for my exams. (sure i wouldnt be doing archery and wouldnt have all the other wonderful things i now enjoy in aberdeen but fuck its frustrating) and ofc. aberdeen seems to have: one shady dance company that offers ballet fusion. not adult ballet classes. another shady school that practices at robert gordons that have no website nothing. no info how to sign up or if they have adult classes or when its so stupid and weird. maybe ill have to contact them directly idk. sure my uni has a what seems to be a thriving dance society that i have a glitched out membership for. (its 50 pound a year and i have cerrainly not paid that) and i guess they do ballet on the side. but again from a glance around, looks its only intermediate. not beginners. dont think theres that many uni age girls who just wanna start ballet now. 

so it looks bleary. even in finland, i cant understand body parts in finnish so that might just be frustrating if i could even find a place that offers it. not that i’ll have long at all in finland. ill be there barely a month before heading back to uni and i come back holidays. if i wanted to take one of these eleven week courses, i think id have to geta fuckin liscence and a car and drive to glasgow 3 hrs both ways for a class once a week and that sjust stupid. im so fucking mad about this missed opportunity. like my muscles are itching and aching to do it. my legs want to work out in ballet positions. they just rly do. yeah maybe ill have to start doing barre at home from videos to try ease that, but its not gonna be the same and ill do it all wrong bc i have no teacher to direct me or anything. correct either. sure if i had done it and loved it i might still be mad that i have no opportunities to continue like i want to, but at least id have that expereince and could keep practicing at home based off of it.  i am genuinely upset okay. upset betrayed disappointed sad twitchy and ugh. sure tickets go on sale today to swan lake after exams. and by fuck will i go see it. and ill get all the background before it and know it inside and out before i see it (already kinda do) and i will love it. ill bemaybe more upset and more twitchy that i cant do it, that i cant be lie them and that rly sucks. i really really wish by some miracle the school would offer summer courses so that i could just, get myself after exams into one. also another frustrating thing not quite so pressing on my mind is how my dad wants me to get summer jobs, maybe even two. one here and one in finland. sure it should theoretically be easier getting it here, esp. since im 19 now and yeah. i could work in a cafe or store just to get money and have smth to put on a cv thats not 2 weeks. but i dunno i dont particularly want to, i was hoping in london i could get the most of it culturaly (considering ive been a pouting and sad whailer whos not done anything for the last two years) then again i have p much no friends here so if i did go work somewhere theres a slight chance thered be someone i get along with and could hang out w. or visit if i needa back in london. i dunno. things are weird. sure i could try get an admin job w nhs like some lady suggested but its one of those too much responsibilty things, consdiering im shit with work i kinda would prefer to do some physical job like stacking shelves in a shop bc im good at that. but thats not gonna help me in the future. money yes, but cv building or careers wise? nah. i should owrk in hospitality or smth i dunno even i can barely get thru my work to pass rn so  i dunno about job searching. im jsut a mess am i not. regardless maybe i should look if theres other ballet schoolsin london. be desperate, get a job and a ballet class going over summer and do art on the free time i guess. 

okay so fer now ive found a course for like fucking 156 pound thats a 2 day full days course that looks mad cool for having different classes to learn vocab and etc and then a bit of fucking swanlake like yooo.. best thing its in like july but thats also possibly bad bc its july 28-29 and july 30 we move out. man it could be cool tho. then they offer there as well a taster session p much every other week and then a full 8 weeks of class p near by to me. sure this is specifically taught by a man and id prefer a woman but, i guess. since its ideal timing and place. and i got wondering why thats 150 and the national ballet wouldve been abt 90 and i guess there i get concession and it wouldve been only 6 classes considering the dates they had off. i should rly ask if they do do concession bc 150 is a bit steep still. for 8 classes thats almost 20 pound for 75 mins. its kinda insane. theres probably more companies i havent looked at but there is one other thats like a drop in thing 10 pound cash each class and thats a 90 mins so it might be better. ofc. obv. fault being that its drop in so being an absolute beginner w likely a lot older adults idk how id fit in or keep up or get hte most of it. i think ill go try it once regardless. then when back in abdn ask around for taster sessions and beginner ballet. worst comes to worst i wait another 4 years till i get to a big enough city that they have a nice ballet company and somewhere i can live like an adult but also get in on adult ballet and enjoy myself. maybe my industrial placement city will have  a ballet company idk. 

all i know is that im a bit obsessed and everyone says to go for your dreams etc. and as much as i enjoy archery (slowly gonna dedicate to it) and aikido (though training can be frustrating and training with old men isnt that fun) and ice skating is another less of a dream but in the same realm as ballet. that im gonan get new skates for and give it a better try. i just think ballet could  be so fucking rad and im sad that its not so easy rn. and that my mom fucked me over. for that one course that couldve been cheap and amazing and mindchanging. to go to the ballet knowing what some of it feels like would be great. sure id love  a chance to do some after as well u know. ofc it sucks it might cost a couple hundred over summer to these hobbies and i feel iffy spending 180 on a quality waterproof jacket. sure. they spend it but, im v concientious and dont wanna spend much of their money esp cus im not making my own. i guess logically, i should put a bunch of effort to getting thru this term rly well without lies and get a sumemr job. that way, i could theoretically take loan from my parents  and pay back with summer job money w some left over to do as i like with (yeah i should save it for sensible shit but idk) also considering how nice i am my dad might not even want me to pay back. look i dunno. thats an idea. be good, be rewarded w ballet classes and an unstrained relationship w my parents, joyously move back to finland and start next term w a clean slate, hopefully more help and new determination into hobbies. maybe i wanna do 4 sports since i never did much as i was younger. tho sure, i did aikidos cousin taekwondo. ive shot a bow and arrow whenever i had a chance. ive skated since literally like 3 yrs old. and i used to take a form of dance a alot younger. sure no musicality but i think the exercises would be great for my knees and legs and butt and torso and posture. htese are fun sports since i dont like to work out. and since im not comfortable enough in myself to go swim.