#if I spent half the time I’ve spent on pinterest writing the little stories that I have in my head and for which I make those moodboards

[hideitaway]

i’ll follow you down ‘til the sound of my voice will haunt you

[quantumlocked310]

Summon Up Remembrance

@deans-ch-ch-cherrypie​. Cherrypie. My friend. My OG. My Vikings Mom. My shared braincell about everything Hvitty. You encouraged me to put myself out there and talk to people. You’ve given me some of my best ideas. You’re an amazing human who works so hard both in fandom and irl. I’m so happy I took the plunge and wrote you Bjornekram so we could start up this wonderful friendship. Congratulations on your 500 followers! Every single one is well-deserved.

So! In order to celebrate our love, I’ve tortured myself and Hvitty with this story inspired by The Little Match Girl. I’d say “Enjoy!,” but I have a feeling that’s not the right word...

Summary: What if Ivar hadn’t found Hvitserk in that cold forest in time?

Warnings: not a happy time, depression, graphic descriptions of violence, major character death, loss, despair, drug use, oral sex female receiving

Note: Title from Shakespeare’s Sonnet 30

Don’t forget to tap the moodboard to see it in its highest quality!

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He’d used his last coin to buy the matches. Everything else had already been spent on the sweet release the mushrooms and drink provided him. His greatest triumph bled into his deepest failure when Bjorn sentenced him to live in the frozen forest. He knew it would not be long. His half-brother had given him painful and terrible mercy. Already he could no longer feel his toes, and his hair was stiff with ice.

His first match is useless. Scraped against the frozen rocks he huddles behind for some semblance of shelter. He knows he’s going to die, but he’d like to have a last taste of heat before he goes. Even the memory of the bright burning flames of his execution can no longer keep the shivering at bay. The cold and wet sticks he’d gathered couldn’t catch, even with the pine needles he’d found to shove under the bundle.

He is resigned to no fire and no hope. Only four matches to keep him company. The last vestiges of drink and drugs are leaving his body aching and freezing; his hands have barely enough movement to strike the next match. He watches this one burn. Its tiny flame dancing merrily along the wood. In its flickering he sees a better time; his favorite feast.

He’d been younger then, and happier. Not yet burdened with a legacy and revenge. The feast fires had kept him warm inside the packed great hall, and his belly had been full of food and satisfied with drink. It was the night he learned a woman might prefer his mouth over his other parts, and he’d been fascinated. The thrall he’d danced with had taken him aside and shared in his body, and shown him things other women hadn’t yet taught him. Their copulation was in a side room; their sounds of pleasure hidden by the noise in the hall. He remembers the delicious wet heat of her body against his tongue, and the way she whimpered and begged so sweetly for him.

The match goes out and Hvitserk is thrust out of the memory. He grows melancholy as he remembers the thrall was killed by horse hoof to the head when she was cleaning the stables one day. A horrible accident.

He scrambles for the next match. Wanting to leave this new remembrance aside and see something joyful once more. The next match strike flares bright in front of his eyes and he hears the clang of axes on swords. His best battle. He’d felt invincible that day. Bobbing and weaving in between English soldiers. Feeling the thunk of his axe as he buries it in the flesh of his enemies. The sweet and terrible smell of blood and guts and fresh mud. Hearing screams and battle cries around him as the Vikings cut a swath through the English forces. Getting to fight alongside his brothers, and seeing the prideful look in Ubbe’s face when he swoops in at the last moment to save his older brother from danger. Ubbe.

The match goes out, and the cold rushes into Hvitserk’s head. His despair is palpable. Ubbe could not let him die as he’d wished for on that fiery spit. But Ubbe let him walk into this cold and certain death demanded by Bjorn.

His saddened breath rattles his chest, and he feels the exhaustion in his bones; the wet snow seeping further and further into his clothing to numb his skin. The stinging tears falling from his red-rimmed eyes freeze to his cheeks, and he is barely able to lift a hand to strike the match. The tears fall faster as he stares into the flickering orange and gold to find a moment of peace.

They’re all there. Ivar, Ubbe, Sigurd, and Hvitserk. The four of them that beautiful spring day, together in the forest trading blows of the sword and the axe. Even their verbal sparring brings a smile to his disheveled face. He remembers going toe to toe with Sigurd, and being equally matched with Ivar. The rush of adrenaline in the fight is a distant comfort, and he dwells again upon youth; how young they all were. Naive and furious; untouched by the horrors that awaited them.

The match goes out and shivers wrack Hvitserk’s body. He sobs and shakes as he memorializes the family he will never see again.

Desire floods his system. The desire he’s always had to escape, to be someone he is not, to chase the dreams he had but could never fulfill. He weeps for his brothers, his mother, and his father. The most torturous thoughts follow, and he mourns and cries for himself. For the person he will never be. For the women he loved, and the children he never gave them.

This is his last one. The last chance to see his loved ones again. To see his brothers happy and together and alive again. Perhaps he will catch a glimpse of Thora or Margrette in this last memory. He draws strength from this small hope.

His breaths rattle and he lights the match. In the tiny flame it is his mother. How tall she felt when he was a child. She is loving peering down at his small frame as he plays with a wooden horse from Floki. Her smile is radiant as she talks to him. Asking him about the horse and the world inside his mind. Her tone is warm and loving, and it floods his body with a final burst of heat.

The match goes out and Hvitserk’s hand falls. In front of him his mother hasn’t left. Standing there like she was in his memory, with a gentle, proud smile on her regal face. She raises her hand, palm up, open and beckoning him. He rises and falls deeply into his mother’s embrace, clutching at her silken robes that catch the salty tears still falling down his face.

“Come, my son. You have done well. We must go to meet your father and brother.” Aslaug wraps her arms around her beautiful boy and holds him close. She feels his sorrow and his perfect joy as their souls connect and ascend.

Some hours later the stomping of boots and the rattle of wheels can be heard in the forest. Ivar looks to his side, observing the landscape around him, and his eyes are drawn to a cluster of rocks. They’re not at all interesting he thinks, but a strong winter wind whips past his face, and the rocks flutter in the wind. No, not the rocks. The hood of the person hunched behind them.

Ivar calls for a halt and carefully climbs down from his rig. He doesn’t know why, but he knows he has to see who it is for himself. His heart is pounding, and his instincts are screaming, and when he rounds the cluster he sees why.

The body is Hvitserk.

White hot rage floods his body, and Ivar lets out a primal scream. His sorrow and pain released in one powerful sound. Tears flood his eyes and freeze on his cheeks. He gestures to the closest soldiers to help carry his brother. They can barely lift him; Hvitserk has frozen in place, but Ivar is determined to give his brother the Viking funeral he deserves.

Ivar cries and mourns, and swears that he will seek revenge on his brothers in Kattegat who shoved one of their own into the wild to die. They did not even allow his fearsome brother the warrior’s death he deserved. What Ivar misses in his incandescent rage is the sweet smile on Hvitserk’s frozen face. Ivar should be celebrating, because as he was not in life Hvitserk is euphoric in his death; together with those he loved and lost once again. The image of rapturous bliss frozen forever in time on the face of his mortal body.

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If you want to read other stuff I write here’s my masterlist!

Taglist: @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @punkrocknpearls @solinarimoon @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom @southernbe @vikingstrash​

Photos are not mine they are from Pinterest.

[marshmallow-phd]

Nine Little Letters

Genre: College AU, Fake Dating AU, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before AU

Inspired By: This graphic made by @rcse-tvler​

Pairing: EXO x Reader

Summary: Just when you thought life was done shoving you down, it got much, much worse. After finding out that your latest crush was already in a relationship, you did what you always did when emotions ran high: you wrote a letter. Signed and sealed, you put it away with the eight other letters you’d written to past one-sided loves, never to be seen again. That is, until a mix up accidentally sends those letters out to their respective recipients and you find yourself in the middle of one confusing web of love. With fake relationships, insecurities, and revelations swirling around, things are bound to get a little messy.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11

This was the worst kind of humiliation. Standing there on the sidewalk staring open-mouthed at the one person you were excited to see today, you were crumbling into a million pieces. And no one even noticed. That was what made this humiliation so bad; there was no one to witness it. You were breaking and no one cared.

You should have known better, really. This morning was going too well. You had woken up on time, had a delicious, filling breakfast, and had managed to put an outfit together worthy of any Pinterest board. Your confidence was through the roof and you were going to do the one thing in your life you swore you would never do.

You were going to confess to your crush.

Signing up for math tutoring was the last thing you wanted to do. Who in the world wanted to spend their valuable free time learning more about equations and algorithms? But you needed to pass this class. It was the second time you’d taken college algebra and the thought of taking it a third time made you want to crawl under your bed. So, you buckled down and took the walk of shame into the math lab. (Yes, that was an exaggeration. Everyone knows there is no shame in getting help. Didn’t mean you had to like it.) When you got the call from your assigned tutor, you ignored it. You didn’t like talking on the phone to anyone let alone a number you didn’t recognize. No voicemail was left. Then a text came through.

Hi, (y/n)! This Kim Junmyeon! I’ve been assigned as your math tutor. When you get a chance, let me know when you’re free so we can create a schedule that works for you. Have a great day!

You waited an appropriate amount of time before replying. So, an hour and half later, you texted him your schedule and made a plan to meet up in the library the following Thursday. You marked that day on your calendar with exactly zero enthusiasm. In your head, this Kim Junmyeon was the cliché nerd from movies: dorky glasses, snort-like laugh, and clothes that looked better on a grandfather. Oh, boy were you so happy to be wrong.

Sitting down at one of the tables by the large, ceiling high windows, Junmyeon was nothing like you’d imagined. He had a sophisticated aura about him. He dressed nicely, a thin long-sleeved shirt over a patterned button down, the collar laid nicely over the top of the shirt, and was blessed with sharp, handsome features. You knew you were in trouble. But you didn’t care. You sat down at that table eagerly, ready to… learn.

For the past month and a half, you’d met Junmyeon twice a week to go over the lessons and work on the assignments. By some miracle, your grade was actually going up in the class. Somehow you were able to better comprehend the material and secretly fawn over your tutor simultaneously. At this point, you were sort of feigning how much you weren’t understanding to keep the tutoring sessions going. The nice thing about algebra, once you understood the basics, everything else built on top of it.

But today – today you had decided that you were going to step over the line from tutor and student into the realm of perhaps something more.

You liked Junmyeon. You liked his math puns and the way he scrunched his face when he thought hard about something. His lips would pucker whenever he lifted the sheet of paper to check over your work. Each time you met up with him your heart acted like it was in the middle of a NASCAR race and it was determined to win. You had it bad. This wasn’t the first time you’d had a crush like this, but you had set your mind on making this one different. This time, you wouldn’t hold it inside. You were going to be the brave one, the bold one. The fact that birds were tweeting as you rode your bike onto campus should have been a sign that things would only be downhill from there. Unfortunately, like the optimistic idiot, you took it as a positive instead.

After locking your bike up, you headed straight for the courtyard near the pond. Junmyeon had told you that he often spent his mornings there to finish up homework or to read a book (the fact that he read so much was another factor in your liking of him). In your head, he was all alone, flipping through a novel as he leaned against the trunk of a tree, looking like a prince taking a rest in the shade on a warm summer’s day. The water would be glistening in the background as a lovely, lighthearted melody played softly through the air. He would see you approach and smile that wide, brilliant smile. Your heart would skip as you sat down in the grass next to him and poured out your feelings. The daydream turned into a nightmare the second he came into view.

Junmyeon was not alone nor was he sitting under a tree with a book. He was on one of the benches, splayed out on the wooden beams with his head resting in the lap of a very pretty, more his league type of girl. She laughed as Junmyeon told a story. A delicate hand ran through his soft brown hair. Your heart fell to the ground, forming a crater at your feet.

Shoulders slumped and day ruined, you turned and headed for the student union. If today was going to suck like this, then you were going to sprinkle it with an overly sugary coffee drink. Preferably with extra chocolate drizzle. It helped - a little bit.

Your morning classes went by in a blur. You were certain you took notes, but none of the information sank in. Later you would have to transcribe your quick scribbles to a word document to help you study. You would learn the information then. By lunch, you were starting to peel yourself off the sidewalk of humiliation. Especially when the one person you could always rely on joined you for lunch.

“How did it go?”

You remained silent, continuously munching on the sandwich in your hands as your best friend sat down across from you at the small, two-person table near the middle of the cafeteria.

Baekhyun laughed his signature, SpongeBob-like laugh. “That bad, huh? I told you not to do it.”

“Technically, I didn’t do it,” you corrected. “He already has a girlfriend.”

“Ouch.”

You nodded. How could you not see this before? Did he mention having a girlfriend and you just blocked it out? Junmyeon and you talked casually between math problems, about your friends and fun things you liked to do on the weekends. He’d failed to mention one very important detail.

“Well,” Baekhyun reached over and plucked a potato chip off your plate and plopped it in his mouth, “at least you found out before you said something. I told you he wasn’t worth it.”

“Just because he has a girlfriend doesn’t mean he isn’t worth crushing on.”

“Okay. Whatever you say.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “You’re so much help.”

Ignoring your quip, Baekhyun snatched another chip. You smacked his hand, but all that managed to do was break off a few pieces, the crumbs falling to the table. Smiling proudly, Baekhyun popped the half-chip into his mouth. “So, are you just going to go home and write a letter?”

“Are you just going to go home and write a letter?” you mocked with a scrunched face.

Byun Baekhyun had been your best friend since the two of you had met in the first grade. He’d stolen your popsicle that your mother had packed as a special treat for your first full day of school. When he saw you start to cry, he broke off the piece he’d been sucking on and handed the rest back to you. There was a bit of a disagreement on the level of nice-ness that act achieved since it was your popsicle to begin with, but somehow it caused the two of you to be inseparable ever since. Being your best friend meant that he was privy to the more private parts of your life.

Like the letters.

Starting as young as ten years old, you’d developed a bit of a tradition when it came to your crushes. Emotions were hard to process, but you found them easier to work through if you thought about them and translated them into words. Those words would fly across the paper, transferring the feelings that made you both laugh and cry into the graphite that formed them. Not to mention, the act made you feel like the heroine in a rom-com. Certainly it was something that Meg Ryan or Rachel McAdams would do once they realized how they felt about the male lead.

The first letter you ever wrote was during your final year of ballet class. Dancing had been a part of your life since you were three, but a new passion had been discovered so you’d decided to quit after this last cluster of classes. A terrible decision, really. Because right after your mind was already made up, a new boy had joined the class.

Kim Jongin.

He had just moved into town after his father was promoted to a new position and had to transfer to headquarters. You’d never seen him at the park or the grocery store before. He was completely new. And beautiful.

He was blessed golden skin that glistened, shining brighter the longer he danced. And, oh, the way he danced. It was well beyond what anyone else could do. His movements were fluid, water-like, as if the very beat of the music were pulling and manipulating his limbs to convey what the notes had to say. Each move was a word and when he formed them together, they could make you smile or cry. And when he smiled… oh, his smile was like starlight. The kind of brightness that stayed in the sky even as the city lights flickered on. To this day, you’d never found one that could rival it. He was a dream that every composer coveted. So, what was your young heart to do?

Well, the movies told you to confess. But there was no way you could find the courage to do so, especially since you only saw him in class and you couldn’t confess in front of everyone. The only other option was to write it out; to write it out like Jane Austen pouring her heart out for Tom Lefroy.

 Dear Jongin,

I’m not sure how to start this. Do I compliment you on your dancing? It’s nothing like I’ve seen before. Prima Donnas in the Russian Ballet would be jealous of you! But you probably hear that all the time. And about how handsome you are, even under all that hair. I can’t help but watch when you pull it back for class so you can see yourself in the mirror. Why can’t I look like that? I somehow ended up looking like a frizzy wet cat that just climbed out of the tub.

I guess what I’m trying to avoid saying is that… I like you. A lot. I like your laugh and your wide smile. I like how much you love music and how you interpret the melody with your moves. No one can freestyle like you! My heart does a dance of its own whenever I see you. I hope you don’t have anyone that you like, just so I can stand a chance. Would you ever think of me like that? If not, it’s okay. I just needed to tell you. Someday, you’ll be on stage dancing to an audience of thousands and I’ll be right there in the front row, cheering you on! Until then, I hope you always find happiness in what you love.

Love,

(y/n).

 That sentence about watching him on stage made you cringe in hindsight. Cute for a ten-year-old, but a bit stalkerish. Luckily, though, you never gave it to him. You chickened out every time up until the last class. The idea of him opening it and reading right there in front of you was mortifying. So, then, you decided to mail it. The teacher gave you his address after you told her you wanted to invite him to your birthday party (it should be a little worrisome that a teacher was willing to pass on private information like that… perhaps it was because you were a kid). Three times you went to the mailbox to send the letter out and three times you ran back inside to hide it under your mattress.

That was the beginning of your weird little tradition. Though you never sent the letter to Jongin, you felt better having somewhat confessed your feelings and worked through them without the humiliation of actually… doing it. So, the next time you had a crush so overwhelming that you needed to get the feelings out, you wrote a letter. You even went all the way each time to address the envelope, giving the confession a sense of finality. There was no fear in them ever going out. Baekhyun was the only other one in the world who knew of their existence. At the current moment, eight were hidden in a drawer in your vanity. The way your fingers were itching, a ninth one was on the way.

“I might,” you finally replied.

Baekhyun leaned forward eagerly. “Can I read it when you’re done?”

“No!”

He snapped his fingers as he sat back in his chair. “Darn.”

“Why am I even friends with you?”

“Because I’m charming.”

There was no question in his voice. He one-hundred percent believed it. And… to be honest, he did have his moments. But that was all in the past. “Like a plank of wood.”

Shaking his head, Baekhyun rapped his hands on the table before standing up. “Alright, I’m going to class. Have fun with your pencil and imagination.” For emphasis on his stupid remark, he stole one last chip before walking off.

You finished off your sandwich in a bit of a rage. By the time you were finished, your mouth muscles were aching as if you’d spent several hours at the gym and it was jaw day.

You only had one class left for the afternoon. But it was algebra. How were you supposed to concentrate on functions when your sad attempt at getting into a relationship with your tutor failed so epically? Somehow you managed, though, and you packed up at the end of class with a new sort of determination. As you hopped on your bike and rode home, you thought over what you were going to write. You were so lost in your head that you hadn’t notice the car pulling out of your neighbor’s driveway, nearly hitting you before the driver hit their brakes.

“Shoot!”

You back peddled to break. Your heart thumped in your chest. No life memories flashed before your eyes, but you were sure you almost died. Slowly, you moved forward to get out of the way of the car. 

“I’m sorry!” you yelled over your shoulder.

The driver leaned out the window.

Oh, great.

It was your neighbor. Or, at least, your neighbor’s son. Do Kyungsoo. He stared at you with an expression that could be blank but could also be a glare. It was hard to tell with him. Shaking his head, he pulled back inside the car and drove away.

Fighting off embarrassment for the second time this day - albeit this situation was much lower on the scale and it happened a bit more often than you’d like to admit - you put your bike up in the backyard and headed up to your room. Your mother, a literary history professor, and your father, a doctor at the local hospital, were both at work and wouldn’t be home until well after dinner. You were used to it. Besides, you were an adult and you liked being able to decide to have pizza for dinner and not worry about what other people wanted for toppings. Once you put your order in, you sat down at your vanity and got to work.

 Dear Junmyeon,

Has anyone told you how your hair looks in the sunlight? The dark brown hues seem so warm and inviting, like an ebony chair that was warmed by the unfiltered rays. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to run my finger through it. Would the strands be as soft as they look? Would you wear the same smile on your face that you do during our sessions? But I guess I might not be meant to feel them. Today, I intended to tell you how I felt. I woke up with a determination, a goal to say how much I like you to your face. I was so nervous riding my bike to the university, but it was the good kind of nervous; the kind that makes you keep going. It seemed, however, that I was too late. Or maybe I simply never had a chance at all. I’d missed any signs that said you were already someone else’s.

I hope she knows how lucky she is. I hope she makes you laugh and listens to you when you’re having a bad day. Your laugh is like a symphony. Does she tell you how light and lovely it is? Or how infectious it is? When you laugh, I can’t help but laugh along. It’ll be sad not to hear it anymore. Or have our talks filled with random subject changes. But I think I’ll miss your smile most of all. The way it crinkles your eyes yet still lets them shine. The way it spreads across your face and the way your cheeks grow. It is truly a sight to behold. I hope wherever you go, you are always smiling. You always let your light shine even on the cloudiest of days. That’s what’s so special about you and what made me fall for you. Even when I was frustrated or couldn’t understand, you were patient, taking my mind off of the negative and turning me so I could face the positive. That’s a rare kind of person. You are a rare kind of person. Please always be happy, Kim Junmyeon.

Love,

(y/n)

 With a sigh you sat back in your chair. The letter had done its job. Though you were still sad about the way things turned out, you no longer felt defeated. The words you needed to say were now out there without being “out there”. Okay, so he had a girlfriend. Big deal. It wasn’t the end of the world. There were more potential love interests out there that you could find. He was only one and obviously wasn’t the one.

Beginning to smile again, you folded the letter and put it in an envelope. You didn’t have Junmyeon’s address, so you wrote out the address for the math lab. Opening the top drawer of the vanity, you placed the latest addition to your collection under the first envelope. The doorbell rang right as you closed it up again. Oh, thank goodness. Food.

Practically skipping down the steps, you hurried to the front door.

“Hi-” You stopped as soon as you’d opened it. The person waiting on the other side was not the pizza delivery guy - it was Baekhyun. The boxes holding the pizza and cheese sticks you’d order for no one but yourself were in his hands. Over his shoulder, you barely caught sight of the delivery man driving away. “Really?”

“What? I was bored. And hungry.” He flipped open the lid to show you the hot, melted cheese of the appetizer. “Cheese stick?”

Rolling your eyes, you stepped aside so he could come inside.

Baekhyun had been to your home plenty of times in the past so it was easy for him to make himself at home. He didn’t wait for you before pulling plates out of the cabinet and pouring a drink. He even went as far as getting you glass as well. “Thirsty?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

The two of you ate at the kitchen table as your mother had a “no meals in the living room” policy. Small snacks like nuts and popcorn were okay, as long as you didn’t spill any on the couches.

“So… how did the writing go?” Baekhyun asked cheekily between bites.

You shrugged. “Fine. I’m deciding that I’m getting over it.”

Now it was Baekhyun’s turn to roll his eyes. “You always get over them fast.”

“What’s the point of dwelling on the things you can’t change?”

That was always your answer. Yes, the hurt was immediate and painful, but Baekhyun was right, you tended to push it aside rather quickly. That was the whole point of your letters, anyway. Get the feelings out of the way so you could move on. What was the point of clinging on to something like that? You would only end up worse if you stayed in that spot. So, you pushed yourself to move on. And eight times out of nine, it had worked. There was only that one nagging letter that failed to do its job. That particular set of feelings refused to go away even as you looked to other crushes, as you found other boys to like. It was the one you would always wonder about, the one that was completely off limits. The dull ache still crept up every once in a while. If moving on was what you had to do, you would do it. Because you would prefer if you never had to go through something like that ever again.

[sevensided]

how did you get into writing fic? i'd love to start but idk even where to begin! I loved adats so I was wondering do you have any advice?

Oh my goodness! I am so flattered you’ve asked me this. Yes, I can absolutely help. I’ll throw a bunch of rambling under the cut.

I started writing fic probably when I was... sixteen years old? A lot of my early works were oneshots. I couldn’t figure out how to do anything plot heavy for the life of me, so I just stuck to AUs or whatever I felt like. I wasn’t in any particular fandom -- I really wrote whatever I had ideas for. I remember I tried once to do a plot-heavy story and I received a review absolutely ripping it to shreds. Like, it was so cruel I cried lol. I ended up deleting the fic. Years later, I get what they were trying to say (basically, more substance, less style), but at the time it cut to the quick. Really, it was only when I was in my twenties that I started writing work that was longer and/or better.

The fandom that helped me actually write plot heavy work was a historical-based fandom. As I’m a historian, it was perfect. I got to use my research skills and knowledge to create works that, above all, aimed to feel authentic. I mainly read historical fiction, so I was familiar with how that genre worked. Miraculously, people loved my work. I think I wrote about ~200k in the period of a year? These were several short stories (20-40k) and a few oneshot filler fics. While I was part of this fandom I also helped organise a Big Bang which was a lot of hard work but was extremely rewarding. Along with that, I interacted mainly with other fic writers, so I spent a lot of time chatting to people about ideas and encouraging other writers, and it just created a lovely medley where no concept was impossible or any line of dialogue too difficult. We supported each other and it was truly like a little commune. I gradually stepped away from the fandom mainly because it was just a part of my life at a very specific time, and almost as soon as that time was over, my love for that story/ship faded, but I firmly believe I figured out a lot of how/what I do now purely through that experience.

Regarding ADATS

With ADATS, it stemmed entirely from wanting to “explain” three months in canon (at the end of season three). I was interested in the idea of season four setting up Will/Mike in canon, and I wanted to test the source material to see if I could draw from what already existed to create something authentic. I began with that simple idea: what happened from July to October in 1985? Then I thought about the major themes I wanted to hit -- family, friendship, coming of age, sexuality -- and I nested them around the bigger concept: how do I get Mike from being ostensibly straight to realising he is gay? That meant thinking of two steps: Mike discovering his attraction to guys; Mike discovering his attraction to Will. Those two concepts were separate “arcs” that needed addressing in different ways. Balance was key to weaving them together and making the reader feel like they knew what was coming (and that they felt smart for putting the pieces together) without just rushing through and going “now kiss!” That’s partly why ADATS needs a sequel, lol: because it’s not finished!

Writing process

The first thing I do when I start to get an idea is I write it down. Sounds obvious. But when you have a killer line of dialogue come to you in the shower and you think “I’ll remember that” -- reader, you will not remember it. You gotta get it down ASAP! I do that the whole way through, as generally I’ll be thinking of scenes I’m stuck on and then it’ll just come to me and I’ll quickly jot it down.

The next thing -- or what I do in the meantime -- is start structuring. I plan. I try to plan a lot. Sometimes it’s okay to write “and something happens here to get them here”, because you’ll figure it out later, but for the most part I’ve discovered that planning is like gold and you can’t get enough of it. I break my work up into generally 3-4 parts/sections, and I treat each section like a mini story. So each part needs a conflict and resolution, and it needs to flow into the next section. You need to have a feeling of things evolving and maturing. Once I’ve planned those little bits, I start thinking about the bigger plot arc and how I can drop in hints along the way. I’m probably not a subtle or skilled enough writer to yet pull off that sort of gasping twist you get in really excellent books, but I’m trying to get there. It’s hard, is what I’m trying to say, but that’s okay, because we’re all learning.

Then I generally do aesthetic stuff. Sounds stupid, probably. But nothing helps me get more into a mood than doing a Pinterest board or -- most of all -- making a Spotify mix. I start thinking about the vibe and the general atmosphere, and then I almost exclusively listen to that mix when I’m working. Sort of like muscle memory? Just to get the creative juices associated with that particular selection of songs.

Another thing I’ll do along with plot structure is character structure. This is a biggie. I mean, a story is nothing without characters. So I’ll just jot down a bunch of bullet points of characters and particular aspects that I want to highlight or remember. I hate continuity errors in fiction. Like, if someone says they work on Maple Street but later in the fic they’re working on Pine Street. I hate that. So I keep note of specific things that my main character might notice at repeated points in the story (colours, places, smells, names, sounds -- so they’re all consistent even as the narrative evolves). That’s another thing -- your characters’ motivations. Not everyone is going to be a huge player, but they all do serve a purpose. The most important character is obviously your main character. I personally think it’s important to let your M.C. be an arse at times. They’re going to be mean, they’re going to misinterpret things or fly off the handle... just let ‘em. Let them be wretched humans, and then bring them back and make them realise what they’ve done. Let them learn! I love consequences in fiction, lol.

At the same time, I’ll probably start writing. We’ve already written down some snippets of neat dialogue or descriptions, but now we should start the actual process. For me, I used to start at the beginning. Usually this was the most fleshed out anyway: I’ll have a clear idea of the beginning and the end, but nothing in the middle. These days, if I have a scene in mind that I can’t forget, I’ll just write it. It will possibly get scrapped or rewritten, but that’s okay, because at least you’ve got it down and now you can devote your brain power to something useful (like figuring out what the middle is supposed to be). I’ll have half a dozen of totally out of context scenes just littered in my Word document that I’ll add to as I go along. Eventually, though, you’re going to start writing properly, and that’s when you write your opening scene.

Opening scenes: super important. Every time I write a scene I think: what is the point of this? What do I want the reader to learn or takeaway? Sometimes you do have filler scenes, but they also serve a different purpose (perhaps to establish a group dynamic or to explore/describe a character’s surroundings). Mainly, though, every scene should push something forward in some way, whether it’s character development or a plot point. So, with an opening scene, I always think you have to establish: where you are; who you are; what they are doing; where they’ve come from (in a philosophical and practical sense); and where they’re going (ditto). That doesn’t have to happen in the first paragraph -- that would be silly. But if you sprinkle that information in over time it’ll gradually build up a picture of your character and that way the reader can get an idea of who they are. You basically need to give a snapshot of what your story is about. This also goes back to the character creator stuff: where they are at the start should be different to where they end up. How that happens is, of course, because of plot, and because you’ve structured everything to the nth degree, we’ve got a very clear progression of that character’s growth (/s easier said than done lol).

General advice

Write down everything: every idea, a bit of dialogue, a description, whatever. Write it down. Doesn’t have to be neat. Just has to be on paper. You can’t remember everything, so if you’re spending time trying to hold those things in your head, it’s taking up space for new ideas to come along.

Structure, plan, structure, plan. Sometimes it’s boring and I hate it. Other times, when I’ve not written in a few days and I open the Word doc and think wtf is this supposed to be, I am very grateful for Past Me for leaving such detailed notes. Seriously, it helps so much. Oneshots don’t really need planning, in my experience. You just get those out there. But multi-chaptered stories really do, even ones that “just” focus on a relationship.

Whatever you want to write, commit to it. Space goblins invade Hawkins? Do it. Eleven and Max find themselves in a cult akin to Midsommar (2019) and must escape? Yes. Just... whatever you want to do, remember that you’re writing it for you. Write what most interests you, what makes you when you reread it go AHHHHH I LOVE THIS!! Because that makes it a thousand times easier to actually get on with the writing when you enjoy what you’re doing.

Write a lot. Every day, if you can, or at least at designated times. Occasionally I have a very specific headspace/vibe I have to be in, but sometimes it just hits me and I’ll say to my partner “I need to write now” and just disappear, lol. The more you write the more you write. It’s so, so, so true. Cannot emphasise this enough. When I wrote that ~200k in twelve months? It was because I literally wrote every. day. Or near enough. Remember that some days you’ll write 200 words, and other days you’ll write 20k (this happened to me with ADATS -- part of the reason I finished it so quickly was because I had sprints of writing 10k+ at a time that only happened because I was in the rhythm of it). Write, write, write. Who cares if it’s crap! No one will see it until you are ready. In the meantime, just write!

Probably last of all (although I could go on and on) is connect with other writers. If you’re struggling to start, sometimes just talking about it can help a huge amount. I hope it goes without saying that you can message me whenever you want, anon or not, and I will talk to you. We can talk about ideas or I can beta stuff, whatever you want! Find like-minded people and talk to them about what you want to do. Another thing this helps is in advertising your work when you do publish. I see a lot of first time fic writers get super down because they publish their magnum opus on AO3 but no one comments. Honestly, it’s because no one knows you’ve published! You don’t have to be tooting your own horn every which way, but just actively talking about your work and even collaborating with other content creators with get you hyped and other people too (and the input and encouragement other fandom members give is just... out of this world. Anon messages helped me finish ADATS when I was really worried I wouldn’t [that’s the truth]. Seriously, support is everything). When you have people excited about your work, you get excited. It’s really as simple as that.

I could go on but this is already horrendously long. I hope even a bit of this helps! If you want to chat or have any more questions, just hit me up any time.

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Ooh hey how bout a little quarantine fic for the stuck at home peeps? Can be shippy or platonic or both, and with whoever you feel like (or the whole squad.) Whatever you feel. Maybe the reader ends up snowed in somewhere and has to wait out the storm. Or a curse or something. But like, bored shenanigans, making up games, shafing stories, and or doing random stuff to pass the time until they can leave?

Fandom: The WitcherPairing: Modern!Jaskier x ReaderWord Count: 1,113Rating: GTaglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle @writingstudent @mlleecrivaine @coffee-and-stories @ultracolorfulnerdcollection @astouract @your-not-invisible-to-me @kemmastan a/n: I think I’ll be doing other ones in the same vein with other Witcher characters because this was fun and kind of therapeutic to write. I hope this helps!

“Good morning beautiful.”

You smiled at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice and rolled over, still half-awake, reaching out for him. The space next to you in bed was cold and empty and your brow furrowed in confusion as the sound came again.

“Good morning beautiful.”

You squinted, blinking away from the sunlight just barely streaming through your blinds, and swatted around in bed blindly until you found the source of the sound. Your phone vibrated and the custom ringtone Jaskier had made for you the last time you’d been together continued the greeting. You reluctantly swiped it away but remembered why you’d set the alarm in the first place.

“Good morning beautiful,” the voice came, this time with the face as well as Jaskier answered the zoom call you’d scheduled. His usually well-coiffed chestnut hair stuck out in odd ways and he wore a loose white t-shirt with a generous v-cut showing a wide swath of dark chest hair. You couldn’t tell for sure but you were almost certain he wore nothing below but some boxer briefs.

“Good morning handsome,” you replied, brushing some stray hairs out of your face, stifling a yawn.

“How did you sleep? I know you were up pretty late,” he said.

“It was worth it,” you insisted with a little smile.

“I’m glad,” he said, “Still, open your door.”

You paused, considering his words and the impish smile on his face.

“Jask, you know I miss you but… that’s not social distancing,” you admonished.

“Love if I were there I’d already be breaking down your door to get to you, not waiting for some big reveal. But I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised all the same,” he said. You rose and reached for a baggy cardigan to throw over you as a pseudo robe, covering your usual sleep attire of tank top and shorts. You peeked through the peep hole and saw nothing.

“Are you sure?” you asked, talking to the phone you’d brought with you.

“Just open the door,” Jaskier insisted.

You did and looked down to find your usual Starbucks order.

“Jaskier! How?” you exclaimed, reaching down to pick up the cup and pastry, shutting the door quickly before your pet could sneak out, just as tired of being cooped up as you were.

“There are apps for everything these days,” he answered proudly, “I felt bad about you waking up so early to chat with me, especially after I kept you up so late, and I wanted to feel a little closer to you.”

“You are the sweetest, most thoughtful person on the planet and I love you,” you sighed, taking a sip of your drink as Jaskier watched in delight at the dreamy little smile that came over your face.

“I hate that I’m not there,” he said with a sigh.

“I know babe,” you replied sadly, resting your fingertips against the screen, echoing his own action on the other side. You were used to being apart since you were in a long-distance relationship but the pandemic had cancelled his trip to come visit you. You knew that this was just more of what you already dealt with, but it stung knowing he could be there in your arms right now. If only.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Jaskier began, picking up a mug of tea he’d brewed for himself. You were pleased to see that he was using the mug you’d bought him at the festival you’d gone to together on one of his trips, a handcrafted clay piece with a lovely painting of buttercups on the sides.

“Oh yeah?” you asked, taking another sip of your drink and starting in on the pastry.

“Being forced apart from you this way has really made some things clear and I know we’ve only been seeing each other for six months but… Well, I’m tired of saying goodbye to you, Y/N. And I think you feel the same. And I’d like us to move in together,” he said, taking a deep breath and waiting for your reaction. You managed not to choke on your pastry but you still stared at him, a little stunned.

“Jaskier, what are you saying? I mean, gods, of course I’d love nothing more than that, but… We live in two different countries,” you said. It took everything you had to be reasonable when every fiber of your body vibrated with excitement as a montage of what your life could be like together flashed before your eyes. Saying goodnight to him and curling up in bed. Going to the store and arguing over which pasta sauce was best. Him walking up behind you as you did the dishes, pulling you in for a hug before you patted a big handful of soap bubbles onto his nose. Brunches and barbeques and just… existing together in a shared space.

“Pick a country,” Jaskier said excitedly, “I don’t care which one it is, I can do my job anywhere. I just want to be with you, Y/N.”

“Even if we do this, we have on idea when all of this is going to be over,” you said, referencing the pandemic that had taken over the world and forced a baseline level of anxiety into your awareness at all times. You didn’t know anyone who’d personally been impacted yet but it felt like a matter of time. Another thing you’d much rather face with Jaskier by your side.

“So we plan. We focus on the future,” he said, “I miss you so goddamn much, but we can make a pinterest board and plan out what our kitchen will look like and whether or not we’ll have a pool table.”

“Not,” you said.

“Well, we can talk about it,” he joked. You rolled your eyes and then bit your lip, raising your gaze back to his across the miles.

“Are you doing this?” you asked.

“I think we are,” he answered. 

You spent the rest of your morning talking about the pros and cons of each country, including a wildcard option of going to an entirely different country, and though you had no clear decisions by the time he had to leave to take some meeting calls, you felt lighter than you had in ages. You may be physically stuck and time may be slowly losing its meaning, but there was still a future out there for you. Something unknown and full of potential that no virus or ocean could hold you back form forever. As long as you stayed focused on that, and did what you could to be safe, you would find your way out. And best of all, you would do it together.

[amandajeanwrites]

The End of an Era

Seven years ago, yes count those, SEVEN years ago, in late 2014, at the peak of internet fashion hauls and makeup tutorials, during the rise of YouTube and Pinterest and Tumblr, I moved from podunk Montana to the big urban areas in and around Portland, Oregon. Portlandia was airing, hipsters were growing mustaches and wearing plaid on a global scale, and I was ready to drink craft beer and breathe in as much pine scent as I could muster. 

I wanted to be a Blogger or a Vlogger. I wanted to talk about travel, but also film, but also also makeup and fashion because I was growing into my fashionista-ness. I wanted to infiltrate little boutiques and hold events and start social media campaigns, you know, really get ahead of the curve. So my first(ish) job when I moved out here was working as a sales associate for a tiny boutique.

Now, this boutique was a chain based in Austin or Houston or something, so I wasn’t going to head their social media anytime soon, and I was just working as a lowly sales associate at minimum wage, and I’m pretty sure I only worked about twenty hours to start out, but I had confidence in myself and my abilities to grow up and out.

God, I remember during my interview, I wore this NEON FLORAL swing dress that I’d bought in Portland with my Mom that July, paired with a neon sports bra that matched the colors in the dress, all topped off with a God awful cobalt blue cropped cardigan and probably some glitter-embellished shoes. For those of you who have grown to love and appreciate my new sense of style (emo-chic), you’ll understand how mind-boggling that would have been. Oh God, I probably also had matching neon lipstick and eyeliner or something.

The point is, I was young and adorable and confident in my skin and my outfit decisions. I remember panicking throughout the interview, noticing bright colors on the racks of the stock room over the manager’s head and just talking about how much I loved color… the ENTIRE interview. It’s honestly a miracle she hired me.

The reason I’m talking about this now, and the reason it’s all come surging back into my memory so damn vividly, is because Sean and I were walking through that little shopping center over the weekend (the entire mall has been and always will be one of my favorite places in my area), and we walked by this little boutique to see it’s Closing. We hopped in and bought four pairs of earrings as a last donation to the cause, and I immediately felt bitter sweet and melancholy and nostalgic for everything I learned and did there.

I talk about my outfits, my prospects at that time in my life, to reflect on just how much I’ve grown. I was so young, on the edge of 23, and I moved away from home for the very first time. I dragged my boyfriend along with me, and we overstayed our welcome at my Grandma’s. I actually remember driving the 40 minutes to work and 40 minutes back in the middle of the night, fog coating the road and my car, cranking One Direction’s Four album. (A premonition that Zayn was leaving, don’t we think!?)

I was experimenting with a social media presence, with blogging, with fashion and makeup, absorbing everything I could. I explored Portland and the surrounding areas. We went to the coast constantly. I just wanted to get out and see the world, be whoever I didn’t think I could back home. I was making new friends and trying to figure out who I was without college or Musicals or the country western bars or Perkins.

The biggest issues I had were suburban Moms from Lake Oswego that wheeled strollers through our claustrophobic boutique, knocking breakables off the gift table and then scoffing at us before they left. I spent hours irritated with my boss for being a controlling 25-year-old (an actual child). I clung to the drama of my past, not understanding how to be without thinking of how much my hometown had “wronged me”. Dear God, I was dramatic. 

I had prejudices, against suburban Moms! And against sex workers and against hipsters and against Big City people that didn’t understand Little City people and against Little City people that didn’t understand me. 

I talked too much and didn’t work hard. My only real memories of actual work from that boutique were untangling the God damn necklaces, which TRUST me was an 8 hour task. Mainly, though, we dusted the room for the 40th time and gossiped about senseless things like boyfriends that wouldn’t hurry up and propose already! (Sean did two and a half years later.)

I met my best friend there, unexpectedly. I remember meeting her and thinking she was way too cool for me. She’s stunning, hip, knows how to style a French tuck, and she seemed to rule the boutique in a way that I couldn’t ever match. The actual manager hated it too, always trying to undermine her to appear superior. None of us could live up to the grace and beauty that was Rochelle. 

We bonded over our hatred for retail and our love for One Direction and YouTube and conspiracy theories, and I’m so so glad we did. I also met at least three of my other best friends as an extension, and if any of you are reading this, I love you all. 

I took up writing again in 2014. First, little blog pieces, like I mentioned before. I wrote about my favorite products and all the places I wanted to visit in Oregon (some of them, I still haven’t crossed off my list. Sean? Get the car!). But then, something in me whispered that I needed to try creative writing again. I don’t think I’d written a story for years, not since freshman year of college when I’d write dramatic love stories about the boys I had crushes on. (Do you remember that, Aubrie? So embarrassing!) 

So I sat down, the day after Christmas, at my grandma’s countertop, and I decided to start writing a tiny piece of fiction every single day for a year. That was my goal, just a year. Until I couldn’t stop. I think I did just over 550 days, and even then, I never thought that someday I’d call myself a “writer”. I was still working retail, planning on social media management and fashion blogging, at a different boutique and a different stage in my life. But that’s a story for another time. 

I guess the point of all this, the reminiscing and nostalgia, is that if I could go back and pay that girl a visit, walk into that store and help her untangle those necklaces, I’d tell her her colored mascara is fierce and that she should keep at it. I’d tell her that someday, she would laugh at all of the drama from back home. I’d tell her that she’d move on to bigger and better jobs, and she’d kick ass at them until she realized her true calling. I’d tell her to keep writing because nothing will make her happier. I’d tell her to buy less furniture, because she’s going to be in that apartment too damn long. 

But mostly, I’d tell her that time moves on and people change and interests change and the weather changes, so just have a total blast with everything you’re doing right now, in the moment. I want to look back in another 7 years with twice the amount of fondness, knowing that I was struggling with silly, minute qualms that won’t matter then. Knowing how much I’ve grown and learned and shaped, I can’t wait to see how much I’ll grow and learn and shape in the future. 

Although, I do hope, in 7 years, I’m still wearing strictly black and white. Hahaha! 

What were you wearing in 2014? It’s important I know.

Thank you so much for sticking around all of these years and putting up with me and supporting me. And thank you, as always, for reading xo

[lady-of-lies]

A little sarchotic

A/N: Here we have it, week 15 of the year long challenge. I just wanted to say that this is inspired a lot by my many hours spent on pinterest so sorry in advance. Also Since I’m participating in another writing challenge starting on Friday my fics are going to be more of short imagines than oneshots because I’m working on school too so sorry if the fics to come in November aren’t up to the same quality!

Prompt:  “ Your sarcasm is not only unnecessary, but unwanted.”

Word count: 1119

Warnings: swearing and bad writing.

Loki Laufeyson x reader

Today had to be the worst day in your life. It had been many years since you had had a bad day reaching this level of fuck yous, if you’d counted correctly, there had been a total of fifty seven fuck yous uttered before lunch. That has to be a new record, well, you hoped it was at least because managing to live through this day has to come with some sort of reward. It was very rare for you to admit to having a bad day and usually you wouldn’t swear this much, but honestly, this day had had it coming.

The first sign that this day would go down the drain was when your alarm didn’t go off in the morning making you late for work. In your hurry to get out of the door as soon as possible and minimize the lateness you had gotten attacked by the cereal box, taken a milk shower, run out of clean clothes to wear and as if that hadn’t been enough, your hairdryer had tried to kill you when you’d tried to use it. And this was all before eight AM. It had really been a rotten day.

After finally arriving at work, only fifteen minutes late thank you very much, you just had to run into Kevin. I think we all have that one coworker that we just wished could go up and quit, or at least stay out of the way for the entirety of the shift. The bastard had managed to corner you in the common room as you were preparing for Mr.Stark’s latest charity event. Oh yeah, you worked for none other than Tony Stark, the world famous billionaire, playboy and philanthropist, as he liked to introduce himself.  Enough of that, back to Kevin.

Nothing good ever came from this guy, he never helped with any of the work, just sliding along on the hard labour you poured into your assignments and then claiming he did at least half of it. More often than not he took all the credit if you were to be honest, but you never complained, just avoiding him to the best of your ability. Usually he was the one arriving late, leave it to today to make him on time just the day you happened to be a few minutes late. 

As usual he used all the pet names in the book, trespassed on your personal space by the mile, tried asking you out with the worst pick-up lines in history and, never. Stopped. Talking. But when you finally got rid of him you couldn’t help but let out a frustrated mumble as you went to continue with your decorating. 

“I’ve met a lot of pricks in my life, but that guy is a fucking cactus”

You had thought you were alone in the room but a low chuckle both startled you and proved you otherwise. Looking in the direction from where the ear pleasing sound had come from you found a tall, lean man with raven hair and dressed in the most intriguing garments that fitted his person in all the right places. Loki. You had never really talked to him, just seeing him around the tower reading as you run around trying to complete one of Mr.stark’s commands after the other. Standing before him you should probably feel embarrassed of what you’d just said or be afraid of him in general, to your surprise though, you were neither. Well, you thought, have I already spoken my mind there's no reason to stop now. 

“Yeah. I just said that. Welcome to my mind, you may want to buckle up.”

At that he chuckled again. At least my bad day turned out to be amusing to someone. The statement followed by a somewhat awkward silence, he just stood on the opposite side of the room and observed my every move.It felt unnerving,and had it not been for him moving over to the kitchen area and letting his eyes roam freely over a fruit bowl instead you may actually have considered to fling yourself out the window. Your day couldn’t get worse anyway. 

Loki moved with the grace of a royal, which isn't that weird considering that he was one. He looked like he inspected each and every fruit in the grande bowl before picking up an apple. One thing that startled you though was that he offered it to you instead of eating it himself. “apple?” he asked while extending his arm holding the apple in your direction with such a good poker face you couldn’t help but wonder if you just imagined him asking.

“Thanks, but I’m not hungry, and I doubt an apple can keep Kevin out of the room so, please, enjoy it yourself”

You kinda thought that would be it of your brief little conversation, but he surprised you yet again. He took a bite from his apple and started his way over to your half of the room before slouching against the armrest of one of the many couches. After yet another minute of silence he answered you.

“You know...  An apple a day can keep anyone away. You just have to throw it hard enough”

Now it was your turn to chuckle, well, more like snorting, but, you know. Had the Loki just engaged in a conversation with you? and cracked a joke no less! but you still couldn’t help but feel a bit irritated over your otherwise bad day’s attempt to lighten the mood. You liked Loki, sure. But you preferred not to have him laugh at your expense and fill your head with unseemly ideas, though, throwing an apple at kevin would be very satisfying indeed.

“Your sarcasm is not only unnecessary, but unwanted.”

No later had the last word left your mouth before he replied. You guessed he wasn’t  referred to as silver tongue for nothing.

“Says the girl I have listened to muttering sarcastic comments under her breath all morning”

How long had he been in the room exactly? And how had you not noticed him earlier?

“I’m not sarcastic, it's in my nature you see, my friends call me a sarchotic: When you’re so sarcastic, people aren’t sure whether you’re joking or if you’re just plain crazy.”

At that he chuckled again. It was a sound you could get used to. Well, you had to, because that had been the day you and Loki met but it wasn’t the end of your story, no. You became good friends after that. And even further into the future, even though neither of you knew it yet, you would both walk the path of a shared “I do”

Permanent Tag list:

@theincaprincess​ @deepestfirefun​ @indelwen-of-mirkwood​ @gaia-writes-stuff​ @sdavid09​  @peter-pan-on-neverland​ @ek823​ @naomiiiiiiiiiii04​ @soradragon​ @themarauderstheoutsidersandpeggy​

[embcldens]

。· . ˙ ☀ ⌈ addison rae + cis female + she/her ⌋ yo , have you meet that POGUE , finley bauer , yet ? — no ? well , to give you a little heads up before you do , they’re a TWENTY year old , ZOOLOGY COLLEGE STUDENT & N.E.S.T VOLUNTEER , and have been living in coston for EIGHT YEARS . since i’ve known them , they’ve reminded me of FRECKLES DUSTED ACROSS THE BRIDGE OF YOUR SUNKISSED NOSE , TOUSLED SEA SALT HAIR , A BRIGHT SMILE ETCHED ACROSS YOUR LIPS THAT COULD GIVE THE SUN A RUN FOR ITS MONEY , BEFRIENDING EVERY ANIMAL YOU COME ACROSS , NIGHTS SPENT UNDERNEATH THE CLEAR STAR FILLED SKY & THE SUNS WARMTH AGAINST YOUR SKIN . usually they’re quite EFFLUGENT & DRIVEN but just make sure you keep an eye out for them around town because i heard can be quite CRITICAL & FERVID as well so here’s hoping they aren’t the ones to undo this whole peace pact they have going on this summer . but just between you & me , i kinda hope it all falls apart . the rivalry keeps this whole boring town interesting .

hello , hello , hello !! i’m bronny ( the admin ) , i’m 23 , i’m from new zealand & to say that i’m excited about opening this place back up again & being able to write my lil sunshine girl finley again would be an UNDERSTATMENT !!!  i won’t ramble on about me though bc this intro turned out far longer than i meant it to ( is anyone surprise ? no ... just like finley i too ramble on forever for 0 reason ) so without further ado ... here is finley raegan bauer !!

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BACKGROUND

from the moment finley bauer was born , animals have been at the epicentre of her life . you see , finley bauer was born on march 25th 2000 in durban , south africa to charlotte and ragnar bauer . both of who have dedicated their lives to researching , rehabilitating & preserving the wildlife of africa . charlotte bauer worked for a rehabilitation centre for turtles & ragnar bauer worked as a ranger in kruger national park . so it was no surprise that finley followed in both of their footsteps when it came to their love of animals . animals to finley , no matter how big or small , were ( and still are ) the most special and precious creatures in the world and should be looked after no matter what . it was the first thing she ever really understood and the first thing her parents taught her .

throughout her childhood , finley lived a life many may have envied for one reason or another . for the most part , she had lived with her mother in st lucia where she spent the majority of her free time with her mother at the turtle sanctuary she worked at learning and helping in any way she could . but once the school holidays rolled around … finley traveled the 5 hour journey up to kruger national park to spend the weeks with her father . those , if she was being honest , were her favourite moments of all time . she was only quite young but her father allowed her to not only go on tour after tour with him but she was even allowed to witness some of the most heart warming scenes of the rehabilitation of many animals that had been injured by poachers . it was moments like that , that really cemented in her from an early age about what she wanted to do in life . all she wanted was to be able to help animals in the way her parents did and there was nothing that was going to stop her and becoming a wildlife vet was exactly how she was going to do it .

but at the age of twelve , finley’s life was moved half way across the world due to her mother getting a new job — one in her home town of coston , north carolina . if finley had it her way , she would have stayed with her dad . moving from sous africa , her home , was the last thing she wanted to do but both her parents agreed that kruger national park wasn’t the best place to raise a child so finley swapped her life in south africa for one in coston , north carolina in the united states .

it was an adjustment to say the least . moving to a new town was hard enough to begin with but throw in a small town where everybody knows everybody & a slightly odd pre-teen with a different accent and it makes it even harder . but finley tried to make the best out of a not so great situation , after all if there was one thing that finley bauer was it was adaptable . her parents always thought she was one of the most laidback energetic kids they’d ever known . she had that seemed to last for hours on end and was open to just about anything in the world — something of which they said was a blessing and a curse because adaptable may be something finley is but trouble would have to be the word that describes her perfectly . no matter what , trouble seemed to find her and she seemed to find trouble . which may have been one reason why it wasn’t all that long before finley fell in step with the pogues like she’d been there from the beginning . south africa may always be home to finley but coston quickly became one of her favourite places in the world once she started to settle in .

not much changed throughout her teen years . she was still getting up to mischief , still exploring the world around her and most importantly , still working towards becoming a wildlife vet . not once did the promise she made to her father when she was only 6 years old waiver . it was just about the only thing she took deadly serious in her life . between studying and signing herself up for beach cleans , volunteering for N.E.S.T every year when it came to laying and hatching season , advocating for not only animal rights but human rights as well , it was any wonder that she did find time to be dragged into pogue shenanigans . but somehow she did because the pogues quickly became like a second family to her . she would do anything for any one of them .

which was why once college came around finley found it so hard to leave . she’d thought leaving south africa was hard , but leaving coston and the pogues behind for college ? she had never remembered crying so hard . all she could do was remind herself that this was what she wanted . she wanted to go to college . she wanted to study zoology so she could get into veterinary school . because without it , her dream of helping save wildlife would never come true . plus , it wasn’t like she’d never see them again . she’d only applied for a college on the main land that had an outstanding reputation in science fields , which meant her friends and mum were only a ferry ride away from her if she ever got homesick . it was almost like she’d never left .

PERSONALITY & EXTRAS

a pogue but could also cross over into kook territory if she REALLY wanted to , but this just in : she doesn’t want to . she , her mum and her mum’s boyfriend who’s been living with them for the past 6 years all live on the outskirts of town in a nice little comfortable 2 story home . the bauer family is nowhere near struggling but they’re nowhere near able to live in figure 8 .

a literal ball of energy . has a hard time keeping still . you’ll catch her leg bouncing if she sits for longer than 5 minutes but it’s fine !! give her a little prod and she’ll give you a lil sheepish smile before quitting it …… until about 3 seconds later

v bubbly v friendly . will talk to just about anyone if they don’t give off dodgy vibes . basically just a lil ray of sunshine .

one of the most laidback people you’ll meet . planning isn’t really her thing , she’s a go with the flow kinda gal !! has been caught saying , it’ll be right far too many times in her life even when things have in fact not been right in the end .

will give just about anything a go . believes that an oops is better than a what if . which is exactly why she’s gotten in trouble more times than anyone can count .

loyal to a fault !! will have the back of anyone she loves till she dies . once you have finley on your side , there’s no getting rid of her . she’d kill for the people she loved .

i say she’d kill for the people she loved …. but she really is more on the pacifistic side of things . but at the end of the day , she would fight someone if that was the only thing left to do . she’s kind up to a point . she’s friendly up to a point . she’s helpful up to a point . she’s no doormat that people can walk over .

not that one may ever think that finley bauer was a doormat . because she ? she can be loud ! she can make her opinion heard ! if she doesn’t like something , she’ll say it outright . she can have a real mouth on her .

you’d think she’d be vegan but …. no . the only thing she doesn’t eat is red meat but everything else ? she calls it her personal downfall . but she does try to keep her meat intake down to a minimum . she just has a weakness for seafood okay , no one is more sorry than her . she’ll only eat it if it’s sustainably sourced though so that’s 1 thing

wears a necklace 24/7 that has an elephant pendant that she got from her father for her 10th birthday .

has a big cats paw print ribcage tattoo on her left side ( this position but ... a paw print )

judges people on how they treat animals and how animals react to them . she will immediately distrust you if you don’t like animals .

has an australian shepherd called rafi aka rafiki  ( originally was named scout but she wasn’t having that ) when he was only 2 and she 15

wants to eventually specialise in big cats ( lions , cheetahs , etc. ) or elephants but she has MANY years to figure that out

will watch every nature / wildlife documentary in the world even though she knows they’ll make her cry like a little baby 

is fluent in afrikaans but since limited people in the world actually speak it she .... only sometimes speaks it with her family  

has a south african accent ( example )

CONNECTIONS

to keep this from being any longer , you can find my wanted connections page here & my wanted connections tag here !!

alrighty , that’s it !! if you made it all the way through that ... you’re a real one bc PHEW it got long . i cannot wait to get to plotting with you all so pls , if anything catches your eye and you wanna plot ? just hit that lil heart & i’ll come crawling otherwise just slide on into my dms on here or on discord ( which i kind prefer if we’re being honest here ) !!

[morallygreyprompts]

hii, sorry if this is a bit weird but I've been wondering about it for a bit- when your writing these fabulous prompts, do you imagine of the characters as anything particular? like, in terms of looks/physical features. If you do could you tell us about it? ahah, I'm really curious :D

Okay I have fixed the technical difficulties!

Oof, I was never expecting to get asked this but it’s totally not weird. It makes me happy to think people are interested in, well, me, and I am good craic, I promise.

Well here’s where the cringe starts. Above all else, I am a fangirl. I’ve spent 4 years none stop writing one LXG fanfiction and still haven’t finished or published it. Because of that half the time I just picture those characters’ looks, almost always Arsène Lupin for my ‘good Villains’, or sometimes Zenith, if they’re good, buuut not above killing.

Now the real cringe starts when I say often in these cases, if I picture a Hero, it’s usually me or the rebellious adventure-filled rebel of a girl one cannot help but wish was them, usually looking like Peta Wilson AKA Mina Harker from LXG ^^’ It just helps me know the whole ‘what would they do next’? (But hey, who wouldn’t want pretend to date Lupin?)

Hm, what else? Well often a gruff detective I imagine is Robur the Conqueror, but he looks like Jeff Bridges who I realise more people will know, which is a shame but nevermind. Big broad shoulders and an American goatee do seem to be essentials. Sometimes picture him for the Villain too, especially where the Villain’s looking after their Henchmen and like pinning them down and reassuring them and stuff. There's not many pictures of him sadly.

Sidekick’s vary a lot, some imaginings are as follows, some of which do happen to look like OCs in my upcoming mask stories. I own none of these pictures I took them off pinterest. Which, by the way, I heard someone sneaked my work onto- you little fiends, yeah, you thought I wouldn’t find out, didn’t you? Well I have but as long as my name is still on I don’t care.

Actual Supervillains and Villains though is where my mind kinda goes blank for any face claim, although maybe Mortem pops into mind. Someone either totally pristine or really rugged and spooky and just plain mean. Henchmen also kinda go blank for looks, but for whatever reason imagining a teen or young adult called Yoseph always seems to fit the bill or a very self-assured person, also pretty broad and bulky and loyal. My brain’s a strange place, who knows, man? ^^’

Mentors, I usually end up picturing someone older, Maybe like my precious bab Naseeruddin Shah, who played Nemo or sometimes just good old Gareth from my mask stories. Someone with a wibbly wobbly past that’s trying to make the trainee the best they can be and stop them making the mistakes they did. Fatherly figures are my absolute thing and I love seeing them in stories so I guess that sometimes comes into play too.

Feel free to ask or send in a comment if you want to know more about my strangeness XD. Oh and if you like LXG oml please let me fangirl with you, I'm so lonely in this fandom I can even-

[rwoan]

    𝒉𝒊  𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆  !  oh  gosh  ,  i  am  so  excited  to  finally  be  posting  this  ?  ya  girl  has  been  ecstatic  about  this  group  for  the  past  few  days  and  just  wow  ,  thank  you  all  for  being  here  !  not  to  be  emo  ,  but  i  really  appreciate  your  interest  and  excitement  ,  i  truly  can’t  wait  to  meet  and  write  with  you  all  .  briefly  ,  my  name  is  lenny  (  22  ,  mst  ,  she  /  her  )  and  i’ve  been  freezing  my  ass  off  in  -  40  temperatures  all  week  #canada  .  i’m  a  huge  harry  potter  nerd  and  will  gladly  scream  with  you  about  ariana  grande  ,  harry  styles  ,  or  the  jonas  brothers  .  below  the  cut  is  all  that  you  need  to  know  about  my  dear  rowan  ,  one  of  my  favourite  muses  who  i’ve  developed  so  much  in  the  past  that  what  lies  below  is  a  novel  and  a  half  ,  so  i  apologize  in  advance  .  i  will  likely  be  messaging  you  all  through  discord  ,  so  keep  an  eye  on  your  dms  !  i’m  the  biggest  h*e  for  plots  ,  so  straight  up  just  throw  ‘em  all  at  me  —  angst  ,  drama  ,  fluff  ,  tension  ,  we  love  it  all  !  okay  shut  up  ,  lenny  ,  no  one  cares  —  mwah  ,  love  you  all  already  !

❛  ⋆  ․  i  totally  just  saw  𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒂𝒏  𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒔  walking  down  sunset  boulevard  ,  looking  so  much  like  𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒆  𝒑𝒆𝒕𝒔𝒄𝒉  that  i  had  to  do  a  double  take  !  the  𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚  𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒓  year  old  has  been  living  in  the  city  of  angels  for  𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒓  𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔  now  and  has  made  quite  a  name  for  𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇  working  as  a  𝒇𝒐𝒐𝒅  𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒓  /  𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒃𝒆𝒓  .  i've  heard  they  can  be  quite  𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄  &  𝒐𝒃𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆  ,  but  at  least  they're  𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒆  &  𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒕  ,  hey  ?  they  remind  me  so  much  of  𝒂  𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒂  𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒍  𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍  𝒐𝒇  𝒇𝒐𝒐𝒅  𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒐𝒔  ,  𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒅  𝒄𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆  𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓  𝒂  𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈  𝒓𝒖𝒏  ,  𝒈𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒏  𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔  𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈  𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒅  𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒔  (  lenny  ,  22  ,  mst  ,  she / her  )

*  /  ♡  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒  .

full  name  :  rowan georgina collins

nicknames  :  row

age  /  dob  :  twenty4 / september 1 , 1995

gender  :  cis female ( she / her )

sexuality  :  openly bisexual

hometown  :  calabasas , california

label  :  the epicure ( a person who takes particular pleasure in fine food and drink )

*  /  ♡  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘  .

rowan comes from a fairly opulent background : her parents never married — in fact , her father came out as gay when she was young — but both were quite successful on their own independent ventures and raised row in a very happy , yet slightly spoiled , childhood

her mother is a big - time magazine editor and had sole custody of rowan in their lush calabasas home , but rowan has always remained incredibly close with her father , a celebrity chef , and often spent weekends and holidays in his long beach penthouse apartment .

because of her wealthy lifestyle ( and having a chef for a father ) rowan was exposed to fine cuisine at a young age . she had incredibly mature tastebuds — even at the age of like 6 she was munching on calamari and truffle oil . she honestly can’t remember a time she ever turned her nose up at trying something new , her father having instilled a deep curiosity and passion for all foods in her .

there honestly isn’t much else to say about her upbringing , there’s no big sob story or rising climax — rowan is incredibly grateful for the stable , happy , and comfortable life her parents blessed her with . she found going between homes quite exciting and looked forward to the double christmases and birthdays — which is a great symbol of how rowan looks at the world . while some may call it “ rose coloured glasses ” , rowan sees herself as an optimist and prefers to find the silver lining in most situations and considers dwelling on the negatives a waste of time .

alright , continuing on : when she was in her early teens , rowan started a food blog purely out of boredom and a general desire to share her passion for food . she started out by sharing low quality images of her meals and writing littles blurbs — nothing too fancy .

however , fast forward a couple years of ritualistic posting , her father discovered the blog one day and immediately shared it on his own social media ( because of course he had to brag about his little food connoisseur ) and row’s blog blew up from there . by the time she was 18 , rowan was getting paid to visit some nice ass restaurants around los angeles and write reviews on her blog , which was gaining interest with each post she wrote . 

high school graduation came and went , and row’s online influence grew bigger and bigger , and continued to grow even as she attended the university of california to major in communications , which she envisioned would only serve to aid her in her online endeavours .

during her college career , rowan started up her youtube channel . it started as a couple videos that she linked in blog posts , prompted by questions from her followers about how she juggled her busy calendar , what her favourite recipes were , and more . her videos opened her up to an entirely new audience , and thus rowan blew up even more . she has since become a popular youtube star , her channel a collection of daily vlogs , cooking videos , restaurant reviews , and more .

my main inspo for rowan’s youtube aesthetic was alisha marie , our queen , with her casual daily vlogs and fun challenge videos , but with a mix of madelaine herself and laurdiy ( i imagine row as the foodie version of lauren ) , and those sort of vlog queens !

rowan graduated uofc with her degree in communications 2 years ago , when she was 21 , and has since been able to fully dedicate herself to her online presence . for the last two years , she’s been mainly focused on consistent posting on both ( although she did get rid of having a set schedule about a year and a half ago in order to ease up her stress ) .

*  /  ♡  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄  .

label(s)  :  the epicure , the icarian , the aesthete , the sybarite

epicure : the whole basis of rowan’s existence is food . like , it’s pretty much the whole basis of everyone’s existence , but rowan is extra in love with food . she’s both incredibly passionate about eating and cooking , although possibly more so about eating — it is her job after all .

icarian : curiosity , adventure , and spontaneity are likely the three words most commonly associated with rowan — aside from food of course .

aesthete : to be a popular food blogger / youtuber / instagrammer you kinda have to have a good aesthetic , but rowan’s is extraordinarily good . the girl is always on the look out for cute backdrops for selfies , decor for her home , and new clothes to fill her wardrobe .

sybarite : materialism is probably row’s biggest downfall . she can’t help but have a deep inner desire to own all things on trend .

traits  :  materialistic , creative , passionate , self - indulgent , obsessive , honest , expressive , confident , starry - eyed

aesthetics  :  a camera roll full of food photos , large red waves , hourly instagram stories , iced coffee after a morning run , a red kiss pressed onto a white napkin , golden rings decorating manicured fingers , keyboard clicks at midnight , chilled mimosas paired with laughter .

personality  :  rowan’s definitely very bubbly and charismatic , but can also come off as quite spoiled , materialistic , and bossy at times . she knows what she wants , how she wants it , and she’ll stop at next to nothing to get it .

she practically radiates bde and oozes confidence .

her friends are literally her everything and she’d likely do anything for them . she’s definitely that Rich Friend™ who will buy your lunch for you , take you shopping for the perfect outfit when you land the interview of a lifetime , and also buy the first ( and most ) of many rounds of shots at the bar .

her home has an open door to anyone she cares about . no point in letting two spare bedrooms sit empty , as she says , and she’ll always welcome you in with open arms when needed .

she’s a party girl , but is also the girl who will be texting the group chat at 9am after a night out asking when brunch is .

above all , she’s incredibly passionate about her work . she is a virgo after all , so she’s very organized , ambitious , and a bit of a perfectionist . she’s never afraid to stay up all night ensuring her latest video is perfect , or will re-read a new blog post at least twenty times to make sure she didn’t miss a thing . 

this ambition and perfectionism is both her saving grace and her downfall . it makes for incredibly cohesive , put - together , and strong content , but can also often drive her to the point of insanity of trying to make sure everything is just right .

*  /  ♡  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐒  .

in order to keep this from becoming a novel ( too late ) , you can find some extra info about rowan by following the links below :

wanted plots .

headcanons .

pinterest .

playlist .

[kyell]

Writing at the End of the World

Anyone who’s had a toddler, or who’s tried to have a conversation with a parent of a toddler, is probably familiar with the following scenario:

PARENT: So tell me what’s been up with you.

FRIEND: Well, you know I quit my job at the bank–

PARENT: (calling) Jakie! Jakie, put that down. (to FRIEND) Sorry, yes. I heard you quit! So where are you now?

FRIEND: Val hooked me up with a friend of hers at GeneriTech. They were looking for a systems consultant.

PARENT: Oh, that’s fantastic. (calling) Jakie. Jakie! Leave them alone. Yes.

FRIEND: So anyway, I’ve been there a month, and–

PARENT: (getting up) I’m sorry, excuse me a moment. (walks off to corral toddler)

You can have a conversation, of course, and you can convey basic information, but it’s hard to do through constant interruptions. From the parent’s side, they’re always at least half (sometimes more) paying attention to their toddler, lest the little scamp fall into a mud puddle or find the knife collection or post embarrassing pictures to Facebook.

This is what it feels like to try to write these days.

One of the pieces of writing advice I give is that the time spent away from the keyboard is just as important as the time spent typing. Your mind has to be free to be creative, to explore possibilities and build the next scene and the next, to free associate and match weird ideas to your existing plot, to get you excited about what you’re about to write so that when you do sit down, you don’t spend that keyboard time just thinking.

(It is okay to just think at the keyboard, but obviously it’s more efficient to think elsewhere and type when you’re at the keyboard.)

This spring, I was writing the end of The War and the Fox, and I was thinking through the final battle scene. It excited me so much that I spent a whole week just turning over possibilities and discarding them, writing a little bit more each day and constantly revising. It felt great.

It’s hard to get that feeling back when the world feels like a toddler staggering toward a knife drawer and I’m on the other side of a thick glass barrier and I can’t do anything except watch, and maybe sign a petition to have someone go into the other room and divert the toddler, if that’s even possible.

(I had a list of problems going on in the world while initially writing this draft, but after two days it was already out of date, so just list off whatever insanity is happening right now.)

It’s a lot to have on one’s mind. It makes it hard to focus on the stories you’re writing because they seem so insignificant, but also worrying about the above is so stressful that sometimes you just want to play your Match-3 game of choice or your Words With Friends, or watch the latest must-see show and not think about anything.

(Or maybe write a blog post explaining how writing has been harder the last couple years.)

The practical upshot of this is that one of the things that used to come easily—thinking about and getting excited about a story I’m writing—does not come easily now. Which means that I have to spend energy making it happen. I have to remind myself to think about the story I’m writing, what happens next, what I want to say, why I’m excited about writing it. I have been trying to do that this past week with moderate success.

If this advice is helpful to my fellow writers, great. If you’re not a writer, consider this a reminder that while yes, we all need to worry about what’s happening in the world, we all also need to worry about ourselves. It’s okay to take a break to do something you enjoy, to remind yourself of why we’re so attached to this messed-up world after all.

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Writing at the End of the World was originally published on Kyell's Corner

[chvrrybaby]

*itzy  vc*  hey  hey  hey   !   (  i  see  that  i’m  icy  )   what’s  up,  i’m  diana,  i’m  nineteen,  and  i’m  ur  resident  girl  group  stan.  i  reside  in  the  est  timezone  &  go  by  the  pronouns  she/her.  now,  finally  introducing  ...  loona    !!   jk,  her  name  is  blair  &  u  can  learn  abt  her  under  the  cut   !   my  discord  is  lana del rey is coming <3#5522   (  stream  her  new  album  august  30th  ),  so  feel  free  to  message  me  there  or  through  tumblr  im’s  if  u  prefer  that   !   otherwise,  i’ll  come  to  u <3

—  kim doyeon. she/her. cis female. | was that blair ryu i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the nineteen year old spends most of their time working as a sugar baby/studying classic literature and women’s studies, but i’ve always just seen them writing in her dream journal. they live in 5A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of loosely curled hair, cherry lip gloss, the lingering scent of vanilla in the air.

(    𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫.   )

born on october 5th, 1999  ( this is literally a day before my bday ooc but anyway ajkdhsjdh )  in rochester, new york, blair’s first impression of the world was a crisp autumn day

she was her parents first and only child. her mother was an elementary school teacher, while her father worked at a nearby power plant in ontario

the family never made too much money, but they were able to get by, at least at first

she had a fairly happy childhood, though it was a lonely one. her father was always working odd hours, and with her mother gone during the day, she spent most of her time with a babysitter and the family golden retriever

eventually, she herself started going to school. she immediately excelled in the english department and fell in love with reading. blair realized early on how much she enjoyed escaping reality with a novel, immersing herself in a story so exciting compared to her dull life

almost everything was fine until her high school years. aside from the fact that she never had a present father figure, she was closer to her mom and still loved by both of her parents. however, when her high school years came around, her father lost his job

her father was the families main provider, and her mothers salary alone would not be enough to take care of the entire family. while he searched for another job, they had to give away the family golden retriever to one of blair’s aunts because they couldn’t afford the extra cost :(

on top of losing her beloved pet, the loss of her father’s job prompting the family to pick up and move their entire life

already in the midst of high school, blair had to leave her life as she knew it behind. the family moved to statesboro, georgia, and her father found a job at the nearby power plant

the transition to life in georgia was not easy for blair. though she didn’t exactly have trouble making friends, she didn’t feel like she could truly connect with anyone

once again, blair turned to losing herself in a book to pass the time

shortly after the move to georgia, her parents experienced some difficulties within their marriage. they ended up separating, and blair spent the remainder of her high school years living with each of them for half of the time

she did not mind her parents separating, as she knew it was for the best. however, her father found a girlfriend fairly quickly, and blair would eventually find out her father had been having an affair

her father spent most of his free time with his new girlfriend and her family. blair was upset at how he prioritized his the new people in his life over her when he was barely ever around for her growing up

meanwhile, her mother was having trouble adjusting to being alone, so she moved back to new york to live with her sister

blair stayed behind in georgia to finish high school, but knew she wanted to go elsewhere for college. she wanted to get as far away from her father and his new life as possible

once blair turned eighteen, she began to sell pictures for money. she wanted to earn as much as possible so she could afford to go away for university. she created an alias and began to sell pictures and videos of her feet. eventually, she expanded her horizons once she realized how much money she could earn

she never went as far as sleeping with her clients, but she would go on dates with them and spend the days with them to earn more money ( kind of like ludovica/chiara in the italian show baby on netflix minus sleeping w them )

she dated a few people throughout her high school years, and began to more “seriously” date a guy during her senior year in high school, though she knew the relationship wouldn’t last. despite appearing as a more serious relationship, to her, it wasn’t really anything of the sort, and she mostly wanted a relationship for senior prom and other trivialities

after senior year ended and she had accepted admission into uni in seattle, she basically cut ties with everyone in georgia aksdjskdjh she said good bye forever ! rip poor unnamed boyfriend he didn’t see it coming ...

her father also did not see it coming because she didn’t even tell him where she applied. but at the same time, did he ask ? no :/

once she left for uni, her relationship with her father became very very estranged. she still speaks to her mom on a pretty regular basis, but even then, she has a whole secret life and doesn’t feel particular close to either of them sjkdfhskdjh

and that’s that for background !

(   𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀.   )

blair is a libra sun leo moon ( rising sign & other placements tbd )

she is definitely a friendly/sociable person. she can be pretty outgoing and loves to be around people. idk her mbti yet but she is def an extrovert ! ( she does tend to keep her feelings to herself tho )

despite her friendly demeanor, she does have a fiery spirit. if u wrong her she will hold a grudge against u until it gets settled/sorted. she can be more on the mean side when she’s upset, but even then she does not have a bad heart at all

when it comes to relationships, blair is all over the place. she can be very flirty/charismatic and is constantly hopping from one relationship to the next. she hasn’t quite been able to settle down, but it is possible. she kind of thinks being in a real relationship means losing her freedom, because that’s kind of what she saw happen with her parents, so she doesn’t really want to be tied down to someone in fear of losing herself in a way. does this make sense ? maybe ? ok !

blair has a fairly strong sense of self, but she’s still very young so she’s still growing and changing. she is the type of person to know what she wants and go after it ( yes, even with ppl ! ). she will stop at nothinggg to get what she wants ( oop ). u could say she loves the chase, but kind of gets bored afterwards unless u have more to offer !

omg she literally loves 2 be the center of attention. i mean, who doesn’t love attention ? but blair takes it 2 another level. she gets all :( if she’s being ignored or isn’t receiving enough attention

kind of bouncing off the whole attention thing, blair loves a good party ! she’s young and here for a good time. she def loves to drink at parties and stuff even tho she isn’t legal here in the us, why should that stop her am i right ? when it comes to drugs, she’s a veryyy casual user and doesn’t do anything crazy. a social weed smoker n will do pills here and there

being a libra sun with a leo moon, i think it’s safe to say she can be a bit dramatic at times ( i mean, as a libra sun with a leo venus i am not one 2 judge xx ). she reads 2 much and watches 2 many movies like ajkdhsjkhd life rly isn’t that serious but she can b a lil overdramatic sometimes whew ! we told u this was melodrama ... lorde stans make some noise !

blair’s fav books are anything by jane austen and les liaisons dangereuses by pierre choderlos de laclos, aka the book cruel intentions was based on ( which happens 2 be one of her fav movies )

shows she loves: gossip girl ( she shares a name w blair so she probably used 2 call herself queen b in high school or something ), desperate housewives ( no wonder this binch is so dramatic ), big little lies, pretty little liars ( the early seasons only ), the netflix show baby, and buffy the vampire slayer

movies she loves: clueless, almost famous, thoroughbreds, moulin rouge, palo alto, marie antoinette, coyote ugly, american beauty, cruel intentions, and valley of the dolls ( to name a few )

her fav colors are pink, red, and white !

u can find her pinterest board here.

she is bisexual babey !!

(   𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.   )

party buddies - this is pretty basic and self explanatory, but someone blair can go out and have fun with. their friendship might be more surface level, or started that way at least, but it’s possible they’re closer friends ( maybe she opened up under the influence and it brought them closer aksdhsdjh drunk blair def would )

ex-fling/gf/bf - blair relationship hops, so she could have quite a few of these. we can plot it however, there can b feelings there, they can hate each other, of they can be just friends now, u name it !

unrequited crush -  ur character could have feelings for blair, but maybe she doesn’t feel them back or is unaware that they like her. this could develop into her eventually having feelings for ur muse or not, whatever we want ! OR blair could def have a crush on someone who does not like her back. maybe that person is super non-committal, or they simply do not like her back. we could plot this out however <3

current fling/friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing/sleeping with. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t.

enemies w benefits - imagine the tension!!! they started out hating each other, but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. i think it would b cool if they kept it a secret, they don’t want anyone else to know. this could develop in soooo many ways !

ex-friends - someone she used to consider a close friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason n maybe they hate each other now. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how

sibling-like friendship - someone she sees like a sibling. they’re there for each other and look out for one another, always have each other’s backs. being an only child and not really close to her parents, blair would love a friend that she could basically call family !

dynamic duo - basically like her current best friend. this person is prob one of the closest people to her and knows her very well ! they could b a power duo, always looking out for each other 

take care - someone who kind of looks after her ?? maybe when she parties a lil too hard and drinks a lil too much, someone who kind of takes care of her n makes sure shes ok ! they would be someone she trusts a lottttt

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other. they don’t necessarily have to be the closest friends ever, but they get along, trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private

rivals - they hate each other for whatever reason. maybe it’s jealousy or their personalities just clash, but for whatever reason they do not get along. i love a good enemies plot. they can just b nasty to each other !!! maybe they bring out a really bad side to blair that most ppl dont see. someone who makes her act like blair waldorf ( i’m def kidding abt the blair waldorf part )

bad influence - blair isn’t a goody-two-shoes by any means, but doesn’t really do anything crazy, so i’d luvv for someone to kind of influence her to do shit she normally wouldn’t on her own

these are all the plot ideas i can think of for now, but i’ll prob make a plots page later on and add more stuff !

so this is everything !! this has taken me longer than it should have but i’m finally done whew,,, cheers 2 me <3 anyway i would absolutely luv to plot, so feel free to hit me up on discord or tumblr im’s, or i can also come to u ! i’m so excited to get started <333 i’m gonna b logging off now most likely, since it’s 3 am my time, but i’ll be back in the morning

[youknowmymethods]

Content Creator Interview #2

In this week’s interview, fandom friends @lilsherlockian1975 and @mrsmcrieff talk about whether they found Sherlock hot or not at first sight, how publicly sharing their work changed their writing, and the hardest thing about writing smutfic (pun fully intended).

And for those who don’t know, today is Lillian’s Birthday, so m’dear, Many Happy Returns!!!!

Hey, so Lilsherlockian1975 and myself, MrsMCrieff, have decided to interview each other for Aine’s challenge. We’re going to try to answer each other’s questions but there is always the danger of us going massively off piste. Our conversations in the past have been eclectic and very wide-ranging not to mention M rated.

 Anyway, I thought we could start by saying how we came into the fandom and more than that writing in the fandom. Lil, do you want to start?

Lil: All right, my sister on another continent, here’s how it went: As I’ve explained about finding The Full House on Pinterest, let’s explore what came before that moment, then just after... I was working third shift at a hotel (I had to as Mr Lil and I didn’t really have any childcare options at the time, so we just worked opposite shifts). The hotel was in a very small town - we were never busy, some nights we sold maybe 2 rooms - I usually spent my time watching Netflix. After making my way through Doctor Who, Star Trek Next Gen, Voyager then (God help me) DS9, Farscape and Firefly, I’d finally run out of anything to watch. You’d be surprised how quickly you can burn through a series binge watching for 8 hours at a time (and getting paid for it!).

 Then… then I found Sherlock. Well, that changed things… a bit.

 “Good Lord, who is the Cumberstud chap and why won’t he have all the sex with me!?” was my first thought, my second was, “Maybe I have a chance with the dishy DI?” and third? “Oh… what fresh hell is this ‘Mycroft’? Yummy!” Then finally, “Ahh, did the casting director somehow read my diary? Creepy but… all right.” To my defense, it was late and I usually worked on very little sleep. Also, I’m a kinky bitch.

 I’d never been involved in a ‘fandom proper’, I suppose. That’s not to say that I wasn’t a fangirl. I am and always have been. I was hugely into the Kevin Smith movies, going as far as visiting the Quick Stop and RST Video in Lenardo, NJ, respectively, as well as The Secret Stash, in Red Bank. I was a comic book geek in my youth, Marvel mostly, but some DC as well.

 After reading The Full House, I desperately needed MORE Sherlock and luckily enough, there was more to be found.

 At first I was just reading, then I wrote and posted a couple of (horrible) fics and met this fellow writer named MrsMCrieff (I might have had a little ‘writing crush’ on you, Mrs!). We chatted on FF.net and struck up a friendship.

 So, for me, writing came before fandom. Mrs was doing some betaing for me, but I didn’t ask for help often; I hated bothering her all the time for the multitude of stories I was turning out. At some point around here, I got an elusive invite to AO3 from sherlockian87, bless her soul, because I kept trying to join and couldn’t get a blessed invitation. Also around this time, I had written a prompt and got a PM from MizJoely asking if she could fix some of my mistakes (she was very sweet about it, even though I totally flipped - half fangirling, half losing my shit because ‘Crap, I screwed up so bad, here was The MizJoely asking if she could edit out my mistakes!’) but she wasn’t being critical at all, of course, just helpful as I soon found out. Shortly after, now having formed a friendship with MIz, she suggested that I start a Tumblr blog. And that’s how it all started.

Yes, sorry… I, um, tend to be a tad loquacious. Writing out my answers doesn’t help one little bit.

 Okay, Mrs, right back atcha!

 Mrs: OK, shall I try to be more concise? I’ll probably fail as I’m terrible as writing short fics they always seem to end up spread over multiple chapters.

 I’m another one who had always been a fangirl, Doctor Who, Buffy, Twilight, vampire Diaries (yeah, I love my vampires) but I’d also been a Sherlock Holmes fan. I’d read all the books in my teens, watched the Basil Rathbone and Jeremy Brett adaptations and even stayed at the Sherlock Holmes hotel on Baker St so when a new series was advertised it was an easy sale.

 I was late to the cumberobsession though. I have to admit watching the first two series as they came out and I remember thinking I like them but it’s a shame Sherlock isn’t that hot. I know, I know, I’m embarrassed even as I write that.

 It all changed after watching season 3 and I blame the Sherlolly kiss 100%. I watched the series, DELETED the records!! And then realised I was spending a lot of time thinking about Sherlock and Benedict...that turned into looking him up online and from there it was a short step to reading Sherlolly fics on fanfic (I was already reading fics for other shipping obsessions). Anyway, it didn’t take long before Sherlolly took over all my other ships and Benedict was my number one hottie.

 As for writing, I hadn’t written anything fiction based since school and school was a long time ago...almost thirty years. But one day I was looking for a specific fic, I wanted to read about Sherlock and Molly having to share body heat and I just couldn’t find anything that satisfied me. I’m not sure why but in that moment I decided to write it myself and in half an hour I’d written Frozen...my first ever fic. It took another couple of hours to pluck up the courage to post it and I clearly remember feeling a bit sick and my hand shaking as I pressed the final button to post.

 Thankfully, I almost immediately started to receive positive reviews and feedback and it wasn’t long before I started to write more...the rest as they say is history. Lil got in touch soon after and it was fun chatting to another writer just starting out. We soon found we were not dissimilar in age and both had two sons and the friendship started there.

 We’ve been through quite a lot over the last few years Lil and written some fab stories. Wouldn’t you agree?

 (I should let on that we are now faffing about trying to find the original list of questions...we are trying to be professional).

 Ok Lil, so I’ve looked at Aine’s questions and they look really hard. Any preferences on which ones you want to answer :).

 Lil: I think a great follow up to that first one is this: How did posting your first story change your process of writing? So I’m shooting it back to you, Mrs, and you can send me that one or select a new one for me. Tag, you’re it!

 Mrs: I can tell you quite simply how it changed my process of writing...given that it was my first piece of writing in 30 years I was starting from scratch when it came to any process. One thing that I started with that’s held true for me ever since is that my stories are fully mapped out and written before I even start posting the first chapter. I will edit and make refinements but the bones of the story are there.

 I know lots of people post a chapter and then write the next chapter but that would put me under too much pressure. The downside is that if someone gives me a prompt they could be waiting months before they see it posted. The upside is if I’ve started posting a fic you will get the end of it as it’s already been written.

 There have only been two exceptions to this method: Sherlock Holmes, Vampire which I worked on over a year or so posting four chapters every so often as I wrote them...it was stressful. And the other is Never Have I Ever which was/is more of a collection of one shots woven together into a fic.

 How about you Lil? How did it change for you?

 Lil: So, I’d been writing little stories and whatnot for years and years but, having no idea that there was such a thing as ff.net or AO3, I had no place to put them. Writing was always a very, very distant dream of mine. I have loads of notebooks filled with stories, story ideas and my own personal ramblings (unfortunately, my Tumblr followers now have to read the ‘ramblings business’). I stopped for many years after my roommate/best friend since childhood found some of my writing in college that I’d carefully hidden under my bed. I came home to find her in my room, sat on the floor, on the phone with our Art History professor (whom she was sleeping with), as she read him my story and laughed hysterically at its awfulness.

 I was devastated and vowed never to write again.

 But that changed, of course. Those first maybe ten stories were just me letting my mind go and getting out what I wanted to say (aided by liberal amounts of wine). Since then, however, my ‘process’ has changed drastically. I don’t always write an outline (never for one shots, which I write often) but I generally do for long fics. If not, it’s easy for me to get lost and miss critical points. My writing has become more about ‘layering’ for lack of a better word.

 I found after those first few posted fics, that in going back and re-reading them I wanted to make changes. I didn’t re-edit them (because I’m lazy), but it made me realize that my writing required more time and proofing before posting; that first draft is just the start for me - a thin layer of primer paint on a canvas, if you will. I then read over it and add more details and more and more until I get the desired effect. Again, much like oil painting, I have to build things up, layer by layer. This works for me; I have no idea if it’s a proper method of writing. So, posting my first fic(s) helped me learn that I shouldn’t be so trigger happy about posting if the story wasn’t ready.

 Okay, Mrs, this one is geared specifically towards you. I don’t think anyone would argue with me about your supernatural ability to write ‘case fics’, so let me ask: Which do you prefer writing, case fics or fluffy smut-filled romps? And why?

 Mrs: Oh God, ask me something easy why don’t you. Both, I like writing both. I love the depth of a case fic, the idea, the research, plotting it out and working out the characters and detail but it’s so time consuming and I often write a bit, leave it, come back to it etc. etc. so a detailed case fic can take six months.

 Fluff on the other hand is less satisfying but quicker (my minds already in the gutter with an analogy).

 Woohoo I kept is fairly short for once. So, here’s one that’s good for you. I’m endlessly envious of how easily you make friends and how you know so many people in the fandom whereas I’m the introverted hermit. Which other authors are you friends with, and how have they help you become a better writer?

 Lil: Goodness! You make me sound like a social butterfly (Mr Lil calls me that all the time!). I like people, plain and simple. Other than you, I am close to MizJoely and Darnedchild, that’s no secret, so I’ll talk about them first (you included, because you’ve made me a better writer, I’m sure of it - have actual proof!)

 I cannot count the ways Miz has helped me improve my writing. She figuratively took me by the ear and said “okay, you don’t suck but do you even know what a comma is used for?” No, not those actual words, she was much kinder about it, but I got the hidden meaning and I needed it, trust me. She also challenges me and is not afraid to be honest with me when I’ve written something that isn’t good or perhaps doesn’t fit. I know I’ve improved since she started betaing for me, like a 1000%. And Child… When I volunteered to beta for the Big Bang Challenge, I had no idea what I was getting into, but man… she’d written and enormous fic. Good, amazing really, but it was longer than anything I’d ever worked on before. It scared the shit out of me but I really think it was exactly what I needed. Betaing someone else’s work can really make you see your own mistakes from a new perspective. I feel like I jumped ahead after working on the BBC with Child. As for you, MrsMCrieff, just the other day I had The Best compliment… someone actually thought I was British! Yes, that happened. I can only attribute that little feat to you, my friend. You’ve taught me when to add a ‘u’, when not to zed and about many different terms like pavement, taps, hob, loo, trousers (we really don’t say that here!). Not to mention the fact that most European men aren’t circumcised. Who knew?! It’s pretty common in the US.

 But that’s just a few. I cannot count the number of fandom friends who have helped me and all the ways that they’ve done so. That doesn’t mean I won’t try…

 There’s likingthistoomuch who always listens to my ideas and encouraged me to post my first Harry Potter fic. OhAine has been a true friend from the very beginning, always insightful and supportive. Mellovesall who is just too sweet for words and always helps with edits, no matter what’s going on in her life. Kendrapendragon who let me bounce ideas for my Mirror Has Two Faces AU off of her for like a whole day! the-sapphiresky who has helped me with this historical AU that may or may not ever see the light of day. Allthebellsinvenice who answered about a dozen questions (over two years!) for Dig Down Deep when I’d panic about some D/s situation I’d written myself into. o0katiekins0o who backs me up when I’m in the middle of a sensitive subject. I can always depend on her to help me when I’m afraid I’m crossing a line. Broomclosetkink, Lord help me! She’s pinch hit for me when I’ve written a fic for Miz or if I just need a good laugh. She’s the best. Sweets… it’s very hard to talk about sweet-sweet-escape. I still cannot even bring myself read her stories or the ones I wrote for her without breaking down, but no one was more supportive or kind to me than Sweets. I miss her so much.

 Then there’s all the love and support I received from everyone during The Fic That Shall Not Be Named debacle. That’s when I knew how much this fandom (well, this ship, really) had my back! I will never forget how much love and support I received. Bless you all!

 I’m forgetting people and I hate that. But I really do love all my fandom friends as if I see them and hang out with them every day. I mean that.

 Okay, Mrs, here’s one for you (I’m going back to the list for this one because I like it and I think it’s interesting): What’s the most difficult thing about writing characters of the opposite sex?

 Mrs: See, see I said you knew loads of people!

 As for your question that’s easy to answer...knowing what it feels like when they get aroused and orgasm. I’m more than happy being female but it would be kind of interesting just to be a guy for one day. It would improve my writing no end.

 On a wider note when it comes to writing characters I don’t think any of us made it easy on ourselves when we decided to try to write being a high functioning sociopathic genius. I think I can speak for most of us when I say he’s not the easiest person to try to write authentically. I just wish I had half his knowledge then I wouldn’t feel like such an idiot when I’m writing him.

 I gave my youngest son the option of any number between 1 and 40. He chose 7 so does writing energise or exhaust you?

 Lil: It absolutely energises me! I do get frustrated trying to find time to write, but actually writing does amazing things for my mental and physical self. I find that I’m much more productive around the house when I’m in the middle of a writing jag. I’ll sit and write for a while, then get up and pound out some chores (usually more quickly as to get back to my computer). Somehow, this works for me. Frankly, it’s probably got to do with my ADHD. I’m the kind of person who needs to do multiple things at once. I’m the same at work; I cannot just stand behind the registrar for 8 hours. I practically beg my managers for extra work, which they’re happy to give me.

 I have an original question for you, love: How does a bad review affect you?

 Mrs: I’ll be honest I don’t react well to a bad review but it does depend on whether I think it’s valid or not. You probably know each and every time I’ve had one because I will probably have sent you a screen shot and asked your opinion. Thankfully they have been few and far between, occasionally they have made me think...especially if I’m being accused of using a tired old trope and I’ve made the effort to up my game in future fics but often they are just being nasty for the sake of it.

 Writing is such a personal thing though, we give a piece of ourselves in each and every fic so it’s hard to not take criticism very personally.

 Same question to you Lil.

 Lil: Oh, I’m a giant baby about a bad review and have been known to take it very personally. At first I brood… like really hard, thinking on the entire thing much longer than necessary. I suppose it depends on the nature and tone, for the most part though. If it’s attacking and spiteful, I’ll attack right back but if it’s coming from a ‘goodish’ place, I do try to look at my writing a bit more objectively (I don’t always succeed). Anonymous bad reviews get to me the most. The fact that I cannot reply drives me up the wall!

 Okay, we’re wrapping this up (else we could go on forever!) Thanks so much and a big thanks to Aine for organizing this as well!

 Mrs & Lil

Next Week:

Posting on Friday 01 March it’s @ohaine ‘s turn (eek!) to interview @ashockinglackofsatin

[panda-noosh]

wip prep tag

rules: answer the questions and then tag as many writers as there are questions answered (or as many as you can) to spread the positivity! even if these questions are not explicitly brought up in the novel, they are still good to keep in mind when writing.

FIRST LOOK

1. describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch).

(give me strength i can never do this) young girl can’t seem to find a way to tell her family that she does not want to follow the path they have set out for her, until she meets a young boy who is determined to help her live the life she wants. 

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)

at the moment, it’s a single book. but there is definitely potential for it to go on into little sequel novellas if i’m not tired of the story yet. 

3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?

bruised knuckles. textbooks. late nights spent overthinking. hearing birds chirp outside your window, bringing you back to reality as you realise you haven’t yet slept. cats. broken families. 

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

the relationship of Julian and Emma in Lady Midnight etc by Cassandra Clare really got me in the mood for writing for Angels Camouflage, though the stories are absolutely nothing alike. 

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel.

these are from my characters pinterest board, so they’re more about the characters than the story - but you can still get a pretty good idea of what i’m tryna get across.

MAIN CHARACTER

6. Who is your protagonist?

Jaime Bardow (yes i changed the spelling of her name), a young girl who is at that point in life where she thinks she needs to have everything sorted, but she soon comes to realise that she does not, in fact, have everything sorted. 

7. Who is their closest ally?

her best friend and ex-girlfriend Lenna! Jaime and Lenna have such a pure friendship, and i’m so excited to explore it and how they help balance each other out. 

8. Who is their enemy?

probably Leo, even though she actually kind of loves him?? like, he causes her so much trouble and puts her through so much stress sometimes, but she still cares for him a whole lot. she kind of believes that she has to care for him, since they’re siblings. 

9. What do they want more than anything?

freedom to do what she wants. a life of her own. a chance to prove to others that she isn’t just the second-coming of her older brother, but her own person with her own hobbies and skills. 

10. Why can’t they have it?

she’s a bit of an anxious mess tbh. her parents have had her entire life planned out for her from the moment she was born, and the idea of turning around and telling them that she doesn’t actually want to do any of what they have set out for her is so nerve wracking that she just plans on holding it off for as long as possible. she doesn’t want to disappoint people, or make people angry, even if it means putting herself through stress and heartbreak first. 

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

that she won’t be good enough on her own. she’s been raised in the shadow of her older brother, has been raised being known as “Leo’s little sister!” it’s all she’s ever known, and so she truly believes that she will simply fall apart without her brother there to keep her together. 

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

she’s around 5′5 (my short lil bean) with short, wavy chestnut coloured hair. she has freckles across her nose and steel grey eyes. she always has a slightly reserved and awkward way to how she stands; her hands folded in front of her, her eyes cast to the floor, her shoulders a little bit stiff as if half expecting someone to come up behind her and tackle her. 

PLOT POINTS

13. What is the internal conflict?

100% her internal conflict stems from her fear of being alone and her need to be independent; it’s a difficult situation to get out of. she’s so afraid of going out into the world and doing things on her own (the things she actually wants to do) but the idea of staying chained to her parents plan for her life drives her insane. she really doesn’t know what to do. 

14. What is the external conflict?

there’s a fair bit of external conflict between Jaime and a number of people in her life. Leo is the most prominent one, considering his disapproval for Jaime doing literally anything on her own terms - he doesn’t like her relationship, he doesn’t like that she often puts school before her business with him, he doesn’t like that she’s quiet instead of outgoing. but there is also conflict between Jaime and her parents, though this is a lot more subtle and a little bit one sided?? her parents are kind of oblivious to the things Jaime wants to do, since she’s too afraid of letting them down, meaning they’re upsetting her without even really knowing. 

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?  

well, considering her worst fear is her family turning on her, probably that. even though her family have been lowkey toxic to her ever since her grandmother passed away and she was forced to move back in with them, she still loves them?? her parents are so oblivious to what they’re doing to her mental state and she knows she needs to just speak up and tell them what’s bothering her, but she can’t. the idea of her finally turning around and telling them the truth, only for them to be disappointed and unsupportive is the worst thing that could happen to her, since that’s what she’s been trying to avoid for so long. 

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

i can’t really say any without giving away spoilers?? let’s just say that Callum (the other protagonist) isn’t exactly what you’d expect, and there’s some moments where Jaime and Callum have to make some very gut wrenching decisions. 

17. Do you know how it ends?

KIND OF. 

BITS AND BOBS

18. What is the theme?  

i know it sounds super cheesy and Young Adult but, the main theme is definitely love and the power that that kind of emotion can hold. 

19. What is a recurring symbol?  

cats??? it makes sense, i promise. 

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)

London!! so, very crowded and pretty at night. we spend a lot of times in the estates, so there’s graffiti everywhere and people in tracksuits, and McDonalds bags thrown everywhere. but overall, it’s very nice. 

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

so many. so, so many. i don’t know where any of them are going to go, but we’ll figure it out. 

22. What excited you about this story?  

the relationship. i love writing relationships. romance is my all time favourite part of a book to write, and the ideas i have for Callum and Jaime just give me butterflies because i love thinking of them two just being happy together and living their best life. 

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!  

i sit down, open the word document, stress and cry over the first sentence for a good ten minutes. if those ten minutes pass and i’m able to move on, i can write for hours. but it’s not very rare that those ten minutes pass and i’ve still got zero words. i often just give up and leave it until later lmao.

i’m a MESS when it comes to starting a writing session. unless i’ve left off in the middle of a damn sentence, i will spend a good hour just trying to figure out where to begin. 

i’m tagging @tayluinwrites because i’m thirsty for more information on her WIP thank you very much. 

[i-ced]

        *:・ﾟ✧  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KAI MY LOVE!!  *:・ﾟ✧                                                    🎉🎉🎉

                              ( @frorewintr //@g-urei  )

or, to be more precise . . .          @nighteluted ,  @windedhaven,  @iiridium &&. @vidrecat . !!

           ♡♡

* To my beautiful girlfriend, my better half, my ship partner,                   the sunshine to my rain, and partner in angst time, Kaila. ❤

     ⠀⠀⠀⠀

            FIRST OF ALL, let me say that Meru loves you more than anything in this world? I was looking through the MILLIONS of pictures exist that I took of you, trying to find the best one to assemble your  “Happy Birthday”  selfies board, and I just keep thinking to myself how incredibly lucky I truly am to have someone like you in my life. I made a comment the today when I was in a stream with Dana how  “Oh, that’s Kai. This is Kai.”  ------And it was not just me, but sometimes Dana would be the one to say it.

And as I was about to go to our DM and tell you about it, it really hit me for a second. Kai, you’ve really become such a BIG part of my life.

Actually, not just big. You are a part of it. You exist in conversations that I have, in my friendships with others, in the thoughts that crossed my mind. You exist in my everyday life. When I look at flowers, I thought of you. When I look at pastries and cakes and macarons, I thought of you. I thought of you when I see fluffy dogs. I thought of you when I see Nintendo 3DS. I thought of you when I see cute pajamas in the store aisle; when I see someone drinking coffee; when I see couples holding hands. I even thought of you when I saw anything Texas-related, and felt my heart races a little faster ... knowing that is where someone I love resides. ;///-///;

I’ve also begun to love so many things since you came into my life, like the sunset and the snow --- and I’ve never even seen snow. But still- you know, that color in the sky when the sun dye heavens with its first orange and warm, golden rays? I’ve found color yellow to be my favorite color, because it reminds me of the color of your hair. 

Kai, you really are in everything beautiful in this world.

And not just that, but I could also go on forever about all the small things that make up who you are. All these the little things about you that I have come to love ... I’m just. I always get so sappy about it djkfdfk. But I--- love how you smile at me. How you laugh at every little thing I do. I love how cute you look while you’re driving. When you are cooking. I love how your hair looks when you get out of the shower, and all the moles that decorate your skin. And I love that I could do that mawkish thing that Pinterest does, and connect them--- your little moles--- into a pattern of constellations. Like a sky that you are, to me.

I love the way you sleep, how you cuddle into your blanket so closely, so cutely. Or the gentle rise and fall of your chest. I love the tiny voice you make when you are talking to Allie. And I love the sound of your voice when you are saying my name---- I love the way you say my name, or when you call me “baby” and “dork”. I love how you smirk at me just because you know it drives me crazy, and how you tell me I’m beautiful even when I don’t feel it. I love how you get shy so easily, and I thought that was the cutest thing ever --- like the way you get flustered after you make a tiny heart out of your hands. ;-;

I also love how you remember the little things I love, and how you care about me and worry about me so much. I love how when I am upset, you can tell, and I don’t have to tell you first. I love how you know that sometimes I have to let all of my insecurities out before I can feel okay, and how you embrace every bit and piece of me. 

And most of all, I love how comfortable you are with me; how sometimes you would tell me that I make you feel beautiful. And I just, hnnngh. It makes me feel so proud--- really proud, whenever I see you were really feeling yourself and took selfies to show me. Even if it is just in that very moment that you were feeling good about yourself and actually knew in your heart how cute you are. It makes you look absolutely radiant, Kai. Your confident, your smile. Those combined are exactly what makes you so beautiful.  

I just ... love everything that makes up who you are as a person, and how you really bring out the best in me. In others.

And it really SHOWS, Kai--- like how it shows in the amount of people writing an appreciation messages to you on such a special day as today. It truly shows the significant effect that you have on their lives. And I can see it. I can see how much you care for others, for your friends. So, so much. You love everyone so much; so equally. We all know that. You have shown that. And it truly, genuinely shows how many people out there adore you for it. ;u;

Whenever I think of friendship now, I think of the way you are with others. And how friendship--- is the LOVE that you give them, Kai. All of those commissions and little gifts that you always got for them, sometimes even more than the things that you get yourself. Your selflessness ... is so ineffable. How you always put others first, even before yourself. 

And most of all Kai, I just want to remind you that the most important gift of all--- is you talking with them every day. You checking on them when they are not okay. 

You really, really care so much about others, and it truly it shows how much goodness you have in your heart ... like how I wrote that sappy thing back then. You are- literally- the kind of friend anyone could ever asked for. I also very much liked and admired that about you ... your selflessness, your genuineness, your sincerity &&. your warm heart. ;u;

              And it made me realized that you have a LIFE, here. You have stories, and history, and tears and laughter and struggles and triumphs and friends. 

And that’s so incredible, Kaila. 

So incredible that sometimes I really get such an overwhelming surge of feelings for you about all the wonderful impact you have on others, on me. And in that moment, I felt a twinge of disconnection. And it really threw me off, because it was so small, but it’s also about you. Because I’m feeling this strong feeling &&. I’m thinking ... who am I going to talk about my overwhelming fondness for Kai with? I mean, I’m Meru– I cannot not talk about this. And as soon as I had THAT thought, everything snapped back into place. I had this  “screw it”  moment with myself, and  “You don’t need to talk to anyone else about it, you are Meru and Kai. Just go all out sappy on her.”  And that was just it.

Sometimes, I spent the rest of the night just... proud. Proud for you and the standards you hold yourself to, proud of the person you’ve become– I’ve witnessed all of your brightest and darkest moments and see grow and expand and transform into a woman with such power, such strength, such kindness… such FIGHT. At 26 years old, you’ve pushed through whatever chaos life has thrown at you and built the life you have today baby.

And so, sometimes my heart is just OVERWHELMED with love, and appreciation, and happiness, for you.

Kaila, thank you for all that you’ve done for me. I don’t know where I’d be today without you. You’ve saved me more times than I remember; you have kept me anchored through all of my winters. You’re there for the good and the bad---- and right now, there’s a whole lot of bad. Yet you are still by my side, holding me up. You loving me regardless of how utterly broken I am; you have made the choice to stand beside me through my wraths and storms. You don’t have to, but you do. ;-; And sometimes, Kai, I have a hard time grasping why you made that choice. Why you insist on taking up part of the weight on my shoulders and carry part of my struggles with you, even when you have your own struggles. 

You must love me a hell of a lot. ;u;

I don’t know why, but I am so thankful. Words cannot describe how thankful I am, Kai ... Because for these ten, eleven months that you have been in my life ---- I was able to be jubilant and silly and carefree like I once was. I was able to forget grief, to feel loved- and to love. To smile, to laugh. You have been all my reason of joy. I've loved you so much. I love you so much.

So thank you, for being the source of happiness for a lot of people. Not only me, but your friends, the people around you. For being the sweetheart who always puts other people first, giving instead of receiving even on her own birthday probably. And so, I want to let you know how special you are. To me, to everyone… I want to remind you that you are special—not just today, but every day- Kai, you are special. So please-- continue to be the very person who makes not only me, but everyone else around you smile continuously each day without effort? 

Continue being you. The Kai that I’ve come to love, you. 

    ⠀⠀⠀⠀ Happy 26th Birthday, Kaila. ♡ You deserve everything you have, and nothing less than everything this life has to offer.

Thank you so, so much for being born, for being here today. You are the source of many of us joy... you are our smile. Our happiness. You brought fun to so many others. And I will be eternally grateful for Lyon and Gray. They are ... so special to us. They are what brought us closer; what brought us together. And as we grow in relationship, so did they. As they found love within one another, so did we.

Plotting with you, having you as roleplay partner ... is such a blessing to many of us. To me. Roleplaying is much more exciting with someone like you to discuss with, Kai. Because writing and developing my muse with you has been such a great joy to me. You made me feel so completed - a roleplay partner like you, who share the same enthusiasm and passion with what we have ... I honestly couldn't ask for anything more. You and Lyon have contributed so much to the development of my Gray. To his characterization. To who he is today. Lyon is literally his better half ... and your portrayal just blends so well with mine. Their relationship is a perfect combination of banter, conflict- and yet so full of LOVE. It is something very important to me that I could only have with you. I never, ever want to lose Lyon. I want to be able to .. see our muse keep growing more and more together. 

Because you have brought so much love and joy my muse, Kai.  YOU are my muse. My inspirations. My everything. ;-;

Like Christmas and New Year for me, today is also a very important day for me. It is the day that you were brought into this earth; that me and everyone are able to be blessed with your lovely presence in our lives. Therefore, I hope I can make this day as super special as I can. ;u; ---- Because to the moon and past the stars, to the farthest reaches at the end of the very last universe &&. back around again ISN’T even enough to show how much I love you. I love you so much, Kaila. My days begin and end with you, and I honestly couldn’t ask for anything more. ;-; You are just ... my person, I guess. Kaila, my person. My best friend, my love, my better half, my soulmate, all rolled into one ... my person.

The way I feel with you is ineffable. I never feel so loved. So comfortable. So accepted .. with anyone before. Thank you for loving me so completely and wholly, Kai. For always providing me with comfort, understanding, stability &&. validation. 

With you, I don't feel so alone in this world. With you ... it's almost as if my battered soul has found a place to call home.

    ⠀⠀⠀⠀

Thank you for everything, Kaila.  

                                                           I will love you forever,                                                                          through your rains &&. storms.                                                                          and on your brightest, sunniest day. 

                                                           ------- ♡, Ameru 

[uuhleesuh]

WIP Tag:

This is the first writing thing I’ve been tagged in, so yay! (I was tagged by the awesome @candlelitwriting​)

So for this tag, I guess I’ll do my main wip, my currently unnamed pirate story. (*cries*) And the character I’ll do for this is the main protagonist, Eliza.

List 5 facts about your OC:

1. She can play the violin, she doesn’t play it often, but she can play it.

2. She really loves pirate hats (Well, I should say that pirate hats have a significant meaning to her). Going off of that, she actually has a collection of hats because one of her things to do when she invades another pirate’s ship is steal the other captain’s hat.

3. In another life, she would be an actress. She loves to become someone else and uses disguises a lot.

4. Her accent is extremely weird. Because for the first 10 years of her life, she lived in Spain so Spanish is technically her native language. But then, she also had her father raising her and he had a british accent so she also knew english from a young age. And then she spent the next 6 years of her life in a british colony, so her accent is a mix of a British and Spanish accent. 

5. She’s amazing at sharp-shooting. Her father taught her how to shoot a gun from a really young age so she’s really good at it. But it’s sort of like her secret weapon I guess. She has a very real fear of death and she wouldn’t want to condemn anyone to that same fate. (Essentially, kills only if she has to.)

If your OC could have any superpower, what would it be?

If Eliza could have any superpower, I feel like it would be the ability to shape shift because she’s a very mysterious person and she disguises herself a lot of the time so having the ability to shape shift would just make everything easier.

Post a picture/GIF that describes your OC:

Summarize your WIP in ten words or less:

Two people sail around the globe trying to save their dads.

(so it’s 11 words, sue me!)

Do you have any villains in your story? 

Ehhhhhhhhhh, sorta?

What’s easier for you to write: description or dialogue? 

Dialogue, definitely. Dialogue’s always more fun for me.

Do you have a favorite writing-related quote? 

Not really, no.

If you could assign your story one song, what would it be? 

THE ENTIRE CAMILA CABELLO ALBU- *puts hand over mouth*

(or potentially Little Talks by of Monsters and Men because it has that same vibe as the story.)

(I say vibe a lot, idk why.)

Where do you get inspiration from? 

Pinterest, Tumblr, or media (books, tv shows, movies, music especially)

For this book, the pirates of the Caribbean movies were a HUGE inspiration, obviously.

Do you tend to overwrite or underwrite in your first draft? 

I haven’t even FINISHED my first draft. I probably would only do one draft, tbh. (I now it’s not good, but I’m impatient.)

But to answer the question, I underwrite a lot. I always have to try and think of ways to fill the chapter so it’s not just a page and a half.

I tag @no-url-ideas-tho @wordsnstuff @idreamonpaper and @gingerly-writing obviously if you guys want to.