#if a god exists it really is like us. playing with toys and stuffed animals and causing pain because it's not real.

[neverendingford]

.

[garfield420]

(part two here)

god could you imagine being afo's sweet and shy child? he has no idea how he got a child as gentle and soft as you but he is so protective of you because of how kind and naive you are. you've lived an entirely sheltered and pampered childhood with your only real interactions being with doctors, nannies, and home schooling teachers since your dad can't risk anyone tainting and destroying your innocence. you're not even really allowed to watch tv besides from a few select dvds he's permitted you to own, or read books your dad hasn't personally read through to make sure they're perfectly okay for you to read.

to protect you from the hero society he has you locked away and living in mid-end apartments to keep from drawing too much suspicion, so while you're aware of the other children in the complex, they have no clue you existed. not that you mind much anymore, after some time you grew used to the dull ache of loneliness, it was just as natural of an emotion to you as joy and boredom. you wished to quell the loneliness but you couldn't bare the emotions your father would feel, you didn't want to make him unnecessarily upset. so you accepted your loneliness in the same way you accepted your gold-plated cell of a room. you had far more than most other children could ask for, your father always making sure your room was abundant with stuff animals and toys.

while one day in your room staring down from your window you watched a little boy playing with what looked like a toy outside on the bottom floor of the apartments. he looked like he was having so much fun, and surely what you would've given to join him- but even when you were small you thought back to your dad and how he would feel. he always made it abundantly clear you were to never leave the apartment without him explicitly telling you so, he always told you that if you were to leave terrible things would happen to you and he would be very sad. when you were able to speak to him again you asked him if he could buy you a new toy that looked similar to the toy the little boy was playing with, that way it would be just like you were playing with the little boy outside. that way it made you feel so much less alone.

the one day you left your apartment without your dad's permission, you didn't want to but you had to! when you got older your dad let you open windows to let in fresh air (and to get a better look outside, but you didn't tell him that), your bedroom window didn't have a screen protector so you could easily lean out to look down the street below you. your window faced the side of another building and gave a very limited view of the roads to both sides. sometimes on days you were really bored you'd count how many cars of a certain color would drive by. right below your window is an alleyway, since you're on the second floor no one ever really saw you- and even then you always duck away and hide if you saw someone walking by. one day you weren't being careful, it was an honest mistake and you wish you could take it back immediately, but you were holding your favorite stuff animal while you were looking out the window to watch.

you weren't paying attention and next thing you know your stuff animal falls out of your hands and into the alleyway below. you're in a near panic when you see it go down and you have no idea what to do, you consider calling your dad for a moment but it's been radio silent on his end for about a month and a half. you'd be worried about him if this didn't happen before, since he's told you it's usually because his work is demanding him, and you wouldn't want to disturb your poor dad while he's working so hard to take care of you, he told you that you should only worry if groceries are no longer being delivered to the house.

combing through your options of how to rescue your stuffed animal, you come to horrifying conclusion that you have to leave the apartment to get him. normally when this sort of thing would happen when you were younger regarding access to the outside, a nanny was instructed to do those sort of things, but ever since you got older your dad entrusted you to be solely alone without supervision. he relaxed on the locks on the front door and even had you taught on how to open the door when you need to bring groceries in after being delivered! but actually going outside? that was scary, but you knew you had to do it for your stuffed animal, for how much it has supported you it's only right you go save it when it needs you!

you stand before the door separating your prison from the free outdoors, a giant pit sitting in the bottom of your stomach as you feel your heart sinking knowing you're breaking the rules. you have second thoughts, terrified of the idea of father finding out and the ramifications that'll follow, you'd certainly get in trouble and you'd most certainly lose your window privileges. then you remember your stuffed animal and how it provided you comfort when you felt the loneliness the most. you take a large deep breath, and hold it while you slowly and carefully unlock the door as if your father were there to hear you, as if he'd bust you any second. once all the locks have been undone, all your left with is turning the knob. releasing your held breathe, you can feel your heart pound with anticipation. this wasn't the first time you've been outdoors but those times were to grab groceries and packages, nothing quite like this. finally you wrap your hand around the cold metallic knob and give it a turn, opening the door slightly to the outside. you nudge your head through the crack you created to see if there was anybody nearby, and more importantly to make sure no one sees you.

after feeling safe and that the coast is clear, you take the the first daring step out of the apartment. your bare foot makes contact with the cheap outdoor carpeting, something your not new to but feels almost foreign given the situation. finally scrounging the courage you plant your other foot outside of the apartment, fully outside now. you feel a soft breeze blow against your hair and hear the sounds of leaves on trees rustling encompassed by the sounds of tires on cars rolling through the roads. again this wasn't the first time but it felt so different, a new experience that carries as much joy as it does fear, and boy were you terrified. you knee you had to be quick, on account of your father and all of the terrible things you've been warned about in regards to the outside world.

you had to keep reminding yourself that if you don't save your stuffed animal, you may never see them again. taking a deep gulp you close the apartment door, making a click noise as you turn to look down the stairs. you know what stairs are but you've never gone down them before, or atleast not in memory you have. you carefully begin to maneuver down the stairs since now you have officially committed to breaking your poor father's rules. even now you could hear him talk about his disappointment in you and how he expected better from you, it upsets you to even think about it.

you reach the bottom of the stairs and carefully watch for your neighbors, to avoid being caught or hurt by the bad people your father warned you about. feeling sure of yourself that no one was around, you bolt for the alleyway, since you need to be quick as you feel the pressure and anxiety rise in you. you feel the wind brush past your face in an almost new embrace. you've felt wind before but truly nothing like this, you could almost smile as you felt your heart pound and your feet meet the new sensation of concrete. it only lasted for a few moments, but in your mind it felt like an eternity. turning in to the alleyway you stop dead in your tracks like a deer in headlights for what stood before you both frightened and excited you.

before you in the alleyway was a boy who looked about your age holding your stuffed animal. it seemed like he was examining it, holding it by it's stuffed leg. you hadn't ever been up this close with anyone your age before, you've seen people your age in movies and tv shows your dad permitted you to watch, but they're nothing like this. everything you know about boys you've either learned from what your dad has told you, what you've read about, and from what you've seen on tv. none of that could have quite prepared you for this.

from your very very limited experience with interacting with boys, as in this is your first real interaction, you think he's rather nice looking. you're most taken aback by his red eyes, you've never met anyone with eyes as red as his, they looked almost like rubies from where you were standing. you were also taken aback by his blonde hair and how it almost seemed like it defied gravity with its spikes, you remembered having a teacher once having hair similar to that. you have no clue how long you were staring, but clearly you stared for too long since he spoke up.

"oi! quit staring at me like that you fuckin' creep!" he almost snarled at you, still holding your plushed toy. you were snapped out of your trance as you felt your stomach sink, your fear enveloping your chest and your mind. you try to open your mouth to say anything, but some internal invisible force prevents you from doing so as you feel your hands tremble. you could feel his firey red eyes burn holes into you, practically destroying any semblance of confidence left in you.

"you gonna say anything you fuckin' weirdo?!" he barked at you again, as you feel your heart do laps in your chest. you gulped as you stared at the stuffed toy in his hands, and courageously you lifted your hand to point at it, still shaking from the amount of fear in your soul. your mind was racing with thoughts, worried that everything your father said about the outside was true, maybe you were safer inside away from the scary world.

the boy follows where your hand is pointing, leading him straight to the plushed toy he was holding. he holds it up better for you to see before simply asking "this yours?" as you nod hesitantly. you could almost make out a 'tch' noise he made, but you were more so focused on the fact he was approaching you. your body was screaming at you to run away but your feet simply laid firm and flat to the ground exactly like a deer in headlights.

he was right in front of you now, officially making this the closest you've physically ever been to someone your age or someone your father did not explicitly allow to make contact with you. you're prepared for all the horror stories to be true, for your father to be right in everything he's said, and to accept your own curiosity killed you. what you were not prepared for was for the boy to hold out the stuffed toy for you. you're not even fully aware he's handing it to you until he nudges it towards you, not sure if this is a trap or not, but you're happy regardless to get your stuffed animal back. you gently take it from him and hold it tight to your chest to soothe yourself and to protect it. you continue to stare at the boy in a mild state of confusion, not expecting this act of kindness from a stranger from the outside world.

"you're too old to be playin' with those kinds of things anymore y'know," he says bluntly, staring you down again as you feel that fear still wrapped tightly around your stomach. however your father always told you when someone does something good for you, you always say--

"thank you." you said softly as you keep your eyes averted downwards from the boy, squeezing your stuffed animal. he seemed taken aback by you, almost like he had rightfully expected you to run away. you heard him loudly exhale from his nose, as he turned his head away from you.

"yeah whatever, just don't be losing your dumb toys anymore." he said before brushing past you and continuing down the alleyway and onto the street you'd came from. you watched him go in awe, as you had expected him to be just like what your father told you to expect. that's right, your father-

you remember your father and how he'd feel about all this and sprint back to your apartment, passing the boy in a mad dash home. had you looked back you would have saw him watch you intently as you ran, curious as to who you are.

once you made it back to the apartment you locked everything back up immediately, then immediately after falling to sit on the floor and hold your stuffed animal. your heart was still beating fast as you began to feel tears well up in your eyes from the pure adrenaline. you felt the excitement from that being your first time in the free outdoors, then you also felt the fear and shame from breaking one of the ground rules your father had established when you were a child. you felt so mixed about everything, but even through all that you couldn't stop thinking about one thing: the boy with the ruby red eyes.

[canidkid]

Castlevania Main Three

Agere headcanons :]

(because I am not normal abt these characters and I NEVER WILL BE RAAHHHH!!!!!)

Minor spoilers ahead for all seasons!!

Alucard

Look me in the eye right now and tell me he wouldn't regress. That's right, you can't!!!

After,, well just everything. He'd struggle to find the mental space to feel safe again. With himself, with his companions. Childhood is as good a bet as any.

Quiet kid, prefers to keep to himself or whoever is directly taking care of him. It isn't that he can't or won't talk, he just doesn't see much of a point in it. It also depends on his age in headspace at the given time. He can honestly get pretty chatty if you find some common ground with the older kid!!

It's subtle, but it's there. Someone who doesn't know the guy really wouldn't realize when they've stopped interacting with a grown adult. He'll trip over words or be slower to respond, but if he's forced to pretend to be an adult..he's got people fooled pretty well most of the time.

Sleepy little guy, very cozy! Likes to curl up in front of the fireplace and just lay there listening to it crackle and burn. Especially if there's a soft carpet...

Still keeps & sleeps with one of his childhood stuffed animals. A wolf named Luna.

Not huge on physical contact. Sometimes he'll subject himself to hugs and cuddles if he's getting story time out of it though >:]]

Trevor

I'm actually torn here! He's either a flip or just fully a regressor.

Rowdy. Someone wrap him in wool. Loves loves to play outside and just absolutely decimate anything he's wearing. Nice new pants? Not for long!!

Banned from anything that could be used as a weapon. Wooden swords, ropes, sharp things..none for Trevor! Because he can and will actually weaponize them. Sometimes forgets his own strength..learned the hard way...

Can't read. This one's actually canon! BUT!! This does not stop him from absolutely loving being read to. He's partially memorized some of his favorite books so he can pretend to read along with his CG, or "read" by himself.

Same with writing. He's learning though!!

Prefers things like wooden figurines or games over soft toys and blankets! Though, he does love a nice fur throw! He's still hesitant to really let himself buy into the softness and vulnerability. God knows he needs it, but we also know how stubborn he is.

His regression isn't as emotionally turbulent as Alucard's. They both use it to return to a time in their lives when things were alright. Though, Trevor is more likely to go out of his way and actually play / take time to be small. Rather than feeling so overwhelmed with big feelings™ that he can't do much else than process. Which is often the case for Alucard.

Sypha

Caregiver through & through! Sypha's that well adjusted friend you thought couldn't actually exist irl.

A lot of her fulfillment actually comes from taking care of her boys! She's always been good with kids, speakers being incredibly communally focused. There's not much that can't be learned about child rearing..

Quite lenient. They're content to let the kids figure things out for themselves. Very very much a gentle parent. Anything can be a teaching moment, nothing requires harsh punishment.

Most often found shadowed by their boys! They'd be hitting the books or brushing up on their magic skills, all the while being watched by two very curious little tykes.

PET NAME MASTER!! She absolutely refuses to call her kiddos by their actual names. I mean, of course she does sometimes, but why would you? Darling, sweetness, sweetpea, honeybee...the list goes on! Alucard has even taken a shine to being called pup! Trevor prefers bug!

Bed time stories galore!!! Between their extensive comprehension of spoken and written language - and the mental stores of the speaker community...the material is near endless! "Just one more story?" Has turned into a multiple person sleep pile many a time.

Excellent at coming up with games and activities. Nobody's bored with Sypha! Let's make jam, let's paint, dye some clothing, forage for food...

And I need to cut myself short here before I stay up past my bed time writing this post!!! Aaaa!!!

Anyway anyway my ask box is open so of anybody would like separate character posts, ficlets, dabbles!!!! Fill up the inbox?! >:]]

[dumbbitchenergy17]

Bringer of Chaos

With the reveal of you as the UA traitor, 1-A and the Pro Heroes now have to face the war coming to them. By the Bringer of Chaos.

Words- 6.6K

UA!Traitor x MHA, Tomura Shigaraki x Reader (Sibling Relationship)

Warnings: MAJOR Character death, violence, death, Stockholm syndrome, angst, and lots of sadness

A/N: For the readers quirk it’s chaos magic just like Scarlet Witch as well as hero costume. This isn’t a crossover making the reader Scarlet Witch, just that that quirk works for the story and I couldn’t think of any other villain costume. Anyways hope you all enjoy.

Was it fear that she felt.

All their eyes on her.

Heroes think they were in the right but how many people died by their hands. Why say you're a hero if you can’t save them all right?

You had always had a dangerous quirk when you were younger, both your parents were quirkless but when they had you, you had one. Chaos Magic is what they called it the ability to tap into and utilizes the chaotic forces of the universe, capable of warping, manipulating and/or reconstructing reality and probability as well as the very fabric of existence. They had no clue where it came from and from which side of the family passed it down. Two quirkless parents raising a child with a strong quirk, they had no clue what to do.

You were pulled out of school after your quirk had manifested and you made a stuffed animal bear come to life, scaring the class and teacher and forcing you to transform it back to a regular toy. With such a strong quirk your parents were afraid that you could hurt someone when your quirk grew stronger and you were homeschooled for the safety of you but mostly the safety of others.

Society deemed people without quirks useless and not successful, if you had one you better hope it was powerful and flashy or you wouldn’t be going anywhere with your life. When you were younger you looked up to heroes, they saved the day and kept everyone safe from the bad guys. You remembered sitting on the couch with your parents watching the news and seeing the heroes save the day and you would stand up and turn to your parents saying you would become a hero and save everyone. They would smile and tell you if you worked hard enough you would be the next number one hero. With your childhood you were happy everyone was safe, until they weren’t.

The police and heroes said there was nothing they could have done to save them, it was a break-in. They had shown up and slaughtered your parents leaving you there sitting in between their bleeding bodies alone. That was when you knew heroes couldn’t save everyone, the society they live among is corrupt. Heroes looking after popularity votes and looks instead of actually saving lives. Ironically there were others they had similar ideals as you did. You were passed around from foster home to foster home but, no one wanted to deal with a child whose quirk was too dangerous; they didn’t want a villain-like kid.

You were six when you ran away after another foster family sent you back after you had made the dog they had got as a welcoming gift disappear never to return. You kept running until your legs wouldn’t let you move anymore and that’s when he found you.

A portal had opened in the alleyway you had collapsed in and out came a man followed by a boy. The man wore a some sort of ventilator mask that covered the entire of his face and neck, next to him was a boy who had a disembodied hand covering his face. The man never told you his name just holding his hand telling you that you would be able to get revenge on the heroes. You grew to see him as your new father and the boy who told you his name was Tomura as a brother. He was a few years older than you but the time you spent together was when you were meeting father or him watching you train your quirk. Another person in your life when you joined what was now the League of Villains was Kurogiri, father was rarely around so he watched after you and Tomura, he taught you everything you would need to know.

When you joined UA you main goal was to bring down the hero society following after Tomura’s lead, him always reminding you that you would get your revenge. You played your part well not holding back when in fights against villains during the USJ, Kamino Ward, everything fell into place. With talk about the UA traitor within the teachers no one suspected the girl who seemed to have little hold on her quirk, but how wrong they were. All this led to now your former friends looking at you in fear and horror, when it was revealed you were the traitor.

You were completely surrounded by her former teachers standing around you ready to take you down and you kept your gaze on your class.

“Y/n don’t make this harder than it is, please just surrender.” Mr. Aizawa held his scarf in both hands ready to attack if you made any sudden moves.

“And if I don’t? Can you really stop me?” You glance at your teacher and he faltered slightly in his stance.

“You’re completely surrounded by pro heroes, so we can take you down.” Present Mic said making you smirk they have only seen what you showed at progression with your quirk. UA only knows the most you could do is change the integrity of a few objects, nothing on a large scale. They barely gave you time to react with Mr. Aizawa sends his capture weapon towards you to wrap it around you, activating his quirk making his hair rise up and float. The weapon goes straight to you half of it landing on the ground behind you.

You look at him with a bored expression, finding humor in him and the others' shocked expression. “Did you think it would be that easy?” You knelt grabbing the end of his capture weapon and he tries to use it but it doesn’t affect you. “What would a simple cloth feel like if it weighed more than that.” A red haze covers the cloth leading up to his neck and slams into the ground, the weight of the scarf alone slowly starts to suffocate him. Present Mic and Midnight rush to him trying to pry the scarf off him.

“Mr. Aizawa!” Class 1-A yells seeing their teacher struggle. Dropping the scarf from your end you look around at your teachers who know they can’t stop you and your classmates.

“Don’t think this is over,” You hear an explosion and someone running towards you, “You bastard get back here!” Bakugo yells, holding his hand out sending a huge explosion. The smoke clears and there is Bakugo panting out of breath looking around for you, but you’re nowhere to be found. The red haze surrounding Aizawa’s scarf disappears, sending him shooting upwards, throwing it off him as he coughs and wheezes. The 1-A and the Pros look to where you once stood, if that was just some of your power, they had no clue what was in store for them if you came back.

In an abandoned warehouse the league hears footsteps heading towards the room they were in. Each of them ready to fight and kill the intruder, the footsteps getting louder until it was right in front of the room.

“That’s funny thinking your quirks could stop me.” A familiar voice calls out through the door as they open it. You stand in front of them and they relax welcoming you in. Standing away from them was Tomura Shigaraki, he was scratching his neck frantically but stopped when he heard your voice. You walked closer to the man you saw as a mentor, as a brother. You stood next to him as he looked out the warehouse window showing the vast city that was part of Japan.

“Tomura...it’s time.”

With your reveal as the UA traitor the school was put on lockdown immediately once you left in fear you would return but not alone. Your face was plaster across the news worldwide ranking you as national alert. News articles found everything about you with your parent’s death, your disappearance from the orphanage to your life at UA. They speculated that you could be in correlation to the league which made you more of a threat, if you had connections to All for One or Tomura Shigaraki.

“Funny how one moment you were just a UA student, now you’re public enemy number one.” Spinner smirks, tossing you the latest newspaper that talked about you. You smirked as you made the newspaper disappear before it could hit you and reappear behind Spinner hitting him in the back of the head.

“They say the same crap as always, not my fault heroes don’t know how to do their jobs.” You go back to laying on the couch closing your eyes, blocking out the noise of the villains around you. You hear the door open and footsteps bounding towards you jumping on the couch crushing you under their weight. 

“Y/nnnnnn I missed you so much when you were gone. It’s boring being the only girl here with Mange gone and you always at UA.” Toga wraps her arms around you squeezing the living life out of you.

“Toga if you don’t let me go, I swear I will turn you into a bug.” You open one eye glaring at her and she sighs getting off you mumbling under her breath.

“How much longer do we have to keep waiting we’ve been in this stupid warehouse for the past week.” Dabi said, kicking a can away from where he was standing.

“Yeah I wanna fight, no let’s relax.” Twice responses, god they were annoying as hell.

You huff sitting up look at them, “When Tomura says he’s ready we’ll go until then shut up and let me rest.”

“And why should we listen to what you have to say, you’re younger than any of us.” Dabi gets up in your face and you clench your jaw waiting for him to do something.

“You should watch what you say next, we know who could win in this fight.” You stand both of you up in each other's face.

“Yeah what are you gonna do about it, huh” He smirks and he goes to speak again but his breath hitches as he grabs his throat.

“What’s the problem Dabi? Have something to say?” He falls to his knees as he tries to breath but is unable to. “You feel that right your lungs are failing on you, do you know how easy it is to kill you right now.” You squat in front of him grabbing his face, your hand covered in a red haze when you use your quirk. 

“You made your point Y/n stop it.” Toga grabs your shoulder.

“No, he seems like he has something to say right, Dabi.” Tears fill his eyes as he is practically blue in the face.

“That’s enough Y/n.” Tomura calls out and you stop using your quirk as him and Mr. Compress enter the room. Dabi sucks in air coughing profusely Twice, Toga, and Spinner goes to his aid as he regulates his breath lightheaded from the rush of new oxygen. “You all act like children.” Tomura says walking past you all going to the window looking out to the city.

“Whatever.” You roll your eyes sitting back on the couch. “The Nomus are ready, my army is ready.” He turns to look at you all. “You all know what you have to do, so get to it.” He says and they all leave, Dabi walking past you glaring at you with you glaring back. Leaving only the two of you left in the room, you stand next to him as you both look at the calm city that will be thrown into chaos. 

“Father would be proud of you Tomura.” You place your hand on his shoulder and he nods.

“You know what to do, you are the biggest piece in the puzzle. You know UA in and out, give them hell.” You nod looking at the man you see as family, the calm before the storm.

“I’ll see you on the other side Tomura.”

The van you were in stopped a few blocks away and you climbed out of it looking back at the villains sitting in it. “Don’t fuck it up Y/n.” Dabi says and you smirk. “You just do your job.” The clothes you were wearing transform into your old school uniform. The league drives away leaving you to walk the rest to UA, they would have no clue what hit them.

With your disappearance UA had been hesitant but continued school as normal, with the dorms they had up campus security and included a strict curfew for the safety of the students. Many students were surprised when they heard  that you were the traitor while others found it ironic that someone from 1-A the hero course was actually a villain. 1-A atmosphere had definitely change since the reveal, some were easier at coming to peace that who they thought was their friend was actually a traitor while others still couldn’t believe it. The class seemed dull with you gone. You had put on a convincing performance, actually forming friendships with your classmates some seeing you as family which broke them even more. Midoriya lost some sort of sparkle since you had left, he saw you as one of his closest friends and felt like this seemed like his fault why didn’t he see the signs. Your curiosity for everyone’s quirk specifically his, you seemed to have a love for heroes and he had shown you his notebook with list upon list of everyone with their quirks and their strength and weakness. He let her get exactly what she needed that would affect heroes and the students because he saw her as a friend.

Mr. Aizawa went on about the lesson but Izuku drowned out most of his talking his gaze to the window showing the walkway to the front of the school. Every few minutes he could see cars driving past the entrance, but what caught his eye was someone walking down the path that led to the building. From this distance he couldn’t make out a face but they were a student from the uniform, but why were they there? It was already the middle of the school day and they should be in class. As if his questions were answered an alarm went off shocking the students

“Intruder alert! Please evacuate the building. Intruder alert!” The intercoms repeat as the alarm continues.

Everyone is grabbing their bags, “It’s probably just the press like last time.” Kirishima says as they get ready to leave, but Midoriya is still locked onto the figure walking to the building, they had no school bag and didn’t seem like they were in a hurry as they got closer. Whoever was walking looked up towards the building and Midoriya felt ice enter his veins seeing their face.

“Hey Deku come on we have to go.” Uraraka grabs his arm to pull him away from the window but he is frozen in shock and fear. His classmates look at him confused at his unnaturally pale face.

“Deku you idiot we have to leave.” Bakugo yells at him standing at the door where Mr. Aizawa was waiting impatiently as they needed to evacuate as a group.

“She’s here.” Midoriya said, and the class had a pretty good idea who “she” was. 

“None of you leave this classroom, you got it.” Mr. Aizawa pushed them back in, closing the door, locking it and rushing to go to the other teachers leaving 1-A locked in the class unable to do anything but watch out the window.

“This is crazy, why is she back?” Kaminari said as they all tried to look out the window to see you.

“Whatever reason the Pros will stop her.” Ida said having faith in the heroes. 

“You saw what she did last time she was here she almost killed Mr. Aizawa!” Mineta cried out.

“If it’s a fight that’s coming I’m not gonna sit around and wait for her to get here. Where’s the button to open our lockers” Bakugo yelled, going to Mr. Aizawa's desk looking for the button so they could get their hero costumes.

“That isn’t smart Kacchan we thought she wasn’t that advanced with her quirk but if she is that strong and involved with the league of villains we are ants compared to her.” Midoriya tried to reason with him.

“I think Bakugo is right,” Momo said which shocked most of the class, “We need to be logical with this, she’s back here for a reason, she wouldn't be coming back if she didn’t have a plan or someone specific she’s after. She is not our friend anymore right now she’s the enemy and if we want any chance of surviving this we can’t be on a lower level than her.” With Momo’s speech their thoughts were decided, they would have to prepare to fight if they wanted to come out of this alive.

You knew the Pros would be here any minute after you heard the alarm go off. You stood in front of the fountain waiting for them to arrive, you knew that this fight some people wouldn’t make it out but the heroes need to get the punishment they deserve. The loud screech from Present Mic when using his quirk could bring anyone down caused you to press your hands against your ears. You could endure this if it meant saving up energy for your quirk. You felt the capture weapon surround your body and the screaming stop and you collapsed to the ground.

“Ms. Y/n we weren’t expecting you to show up but it seems that we were still able to take you down.” You knew you couldn’t use your quirk unlike last time when that had been an illusion you just needed to wait.

“Funny Nezu you always think you're one step ahead.” You smirk looking up at the principal, “I know I’m always one step ahead.” You could smell the fire and there it was the blue flames growing from the forest.

“It’s the League of Villains!” Midnight gasped coming out of the forest were hordes of Nomus each with different quirks.

“You're sure you’re one step ahead?” You smirk and they knew you were just a decoy. The teachers outside had no choice but to deal with the Nomus heading towards the school and to where you were.

Leaving just Aizawa and Nezu to deal with you, “You are much smarter than I expected.” You shrugged and Aizawa tightened his weapon making you laugh

“I was told to give them hell.” With that you swept your foot out from under Nezu and Aizawa causing them both to jump back, with the split second it that Aizawa eyes closed you vanished from his binds. “Truly wonderful time seeing you again, but the fight has barely begun.” Aizawa doesn’t have time to fight you as he is attacked by a Nomu.

Nezu studies you and you stare back at him, “I don’t understand why you’ve done this but we will stop you.”

You grin “You heroes say that but we both know how this ends.” You disappeared from the battle leaving the teachers fighting the Nomus and the students inside defenseless against you.

“Where did she go?!” Sero said seeing you disappear from their view. With the doors locked they couldn’t leave so they stood in the classroom in their hero costumes waiting for the fight to come to them.

“We know that she’s with the league for all we know they could be in the building already and with the teachers outside we would open for an attack.” Midoriya said seeing you easily get captured only for you to be a decoy for the league to appear, it was genius.

“Midoriya, always thinking about the correct things, that was something I liked about you.” You said making the class turn from the window to where you were sitting on top of your desk in the back. “Great to see you all again.” You smiled and your classmates grimaced at you.

“You're a bitch you know that.” Bakugo hissed, making you frown.

“That hurts my feeling, Kacchan.” You hopped off your desk walking towards them, none of them moving  when you stood in front of your classmates.

“You guys are smart putting on your costumes, cause out there seems like the final battle, but this is the beginning of the war.” You said and conveniently when you finished rumbling when through the building and loud explosions went off. 

Out the window the view showed buildings away from UA erupting into flames explosions happening every few blocks. 1-A watched in horror that this is what she meant by war not just UA and the league, the entirety of villains and heroes battling it out; utter chaos. “With that we sadly won’t be needing you all. I say this as your former classmate and friend, stay the hell out of my way I don’t wanna hurt you.” The class doesn’t have time to fight back or anything when it feels like the ground is taking out from under them and they are warped away.

The teachers outside are struggling with Nomus keep showing up, suddenly they all freeze and walk away from the heroes heading to the building stopping in front of it as if they were guarding it. Aizawa wipes away the blood from his face “What the hell is this.” He sighs.

“Mr. Aizawa!” He hears his students yell out to him and sees them running towards him.

“What are you all doing here I told you to stay inside.” He scolds them

Ida steps up from the group, “It was Y/n she appeared in the class and then warped us all away, there were other students as well. I believe everyone in the building is now outside.” Aizawa looked back to the building that was guarded by Nomus.

“We don’t know why they would take the building but remove the students but we need to take headcount to see if everyone is actually outside. With what is happening in the city and here heroes are spread thin. This is exactly what they had planned but why go after UA and how is Y/n involved in all this.” The teachers didn’t deal with any problems with the league or Nomu they all just seemed to stop after the students were outside. Part of the forest that was destroyed by the flames was used as a base for heroes and students, everyone was outside not a single student was missing. Which put out the question of what they were after.

“Not a single student is missing, heroes from outside of Musutafu are coming in, but even then we don’t know how many villains or Nomus they might have.” Midnight told Nezu. Some of the teachers were together discussing their next plan while others were watching the students.

“We can assume that the League is in the building, we need to figure out a plan to fight them but also keep the students safe.” Aizawa said, looking over to where his class was.

“The only two people that have a decent amount of info on the league would be Aizawa and All Might.” Nezu said, “You had Y/n as a student though she never showed us the full potential of her quirk, you know her as a student. Whether her personality she showed to everyone was a lie, lies are built on truth. We need to remember she is still a child she could be manipulated to believe what she’s doing is right.” The teachers nodded, you were just a child that could be forced in the middle of this war, “Does anyone know where All Might we need some more information on the League.” The teachers looked at each other, no one had seen All Might at all. With him becoming quirkless because of Kamino he wasn’t outside when the heroes fought the Nomus. Then it hit the heroes, that’s what they were after.

“You think they figured out you are gone yet? All Might.” You asked, turning away from the window to where All Might sat tied up. “Think the new Symbol of Peace is going to be able to stop this.” You walked over to where he was and sat down in front of him.

“Y/n I don’t know why you’ve done this, but being with the League of Villains will not help you get what you want.” He tries to reason with you.

“What I want you can’t give, the next best thing is getting revenge on those who failed to save them.” You looked at the frail man sitting in front of you. “Do you know what it’s like losing everyone in your life? My parents died because you heroes failed to protect them. You call yourself a hero but you still fail to help those in need. I wanted to become a hero but my quirk was too dangerous for the public. I had no one when they died, no one wanted the girl whose quirk was literally chaos. They found me, took me in and raised me, they were the only ones who actually cared for me.” You said, tears forming in your eyes recalling your horrible childhood.

“They took you in because they saw your quirk. All for One only saw you as a pawn in his game, Shigaraki “raised” you so you would fight alongside him instead of against him.” All Might explained and you stood up, the chair behind you slamming against the floor.

“You’re wrong..they care for me.” You point your finger at him proving to him but he could see that you were doubting yourself.

“They’re using you Y/n what you are doing is leading you down a path that you can’t turn back from.” You turned away from him looking out the window seeing the Pros standing on the pathway, waiting for the fight to begin. 

You could see heroes all around Japan here ready to fight, you could also see UA students ready to fight including 1-A. “Those idiots.” You mumbled. “This is the end for heroes All Might, I will get my revenge.” You exit the room walking down the hallway to the main conference room where the League was waiting as well as villains from all over Japan.

Tomura looks at you and you nod telling him you're ready, “Our time for hiding in the shadows is over, the reign of heroes will end today.” The villains cheer rushing out going to fight the heroes. You don’t move as villains pass by you including members of the League leaving as well. You feel a hand on your shoulder making you look up, “Are you alright?” Tomura asks and you nod, the sick feeling still in your stomach from what All Might said to you.

“Tomura...I’m not a pawn in all this.” You knew that you were needed in getting your revenge that’s what father told you, but were you expendable if need be. 

“You are the one that is going to change the future, a bringer of chaos, Master will be proud of us both.” Tomura said and you felt the tension in you loosen a bit, “You be safe okay Tomura.” He doesn’t say anything just nodded and left you alone. What you were doing was right, the path you were following was dark but was the right one.

The showdown between villains and heroes as they stood on opposite sides neither moving yet. “We have visuals on Shigaraki and other members of the League, no visual of Y/l/n.” Aizawa heard through the comm links everyone was given, there were four squads made, squad 1 deals with underground villains, squad 2 deals with the Nomus surrounding the building, squad 3 will deal with the League and Y/n if she shows up on the field, and squad 4 will being helping in the rescue of All Might. Most of the top Pros were involved in squad 2 and 3 while lesser heroes dealt with the lesser villains and the All Might rescue.

“How long are they going to keep standing here, either fight or surrender.” Endeavor said looking at the villains standing there waiting.

“Everyone behind us!” The heroes turned and there was Y/n with villains behind her as well as a few Nomus.

“It’s an ambush!” Aizawa yells and the villains on both sides rush to attack the heroes in the middle. The thundering footsteps rush past you as they attack heroes in front of you, with your entrance on the field you disappear appearing back in the room where All Might was in.

From the window you could see Villains and heroes fought for their lives, many getting injured, some fatally wounded. “You see this All Might, heroes and villains together fighting for their lives, where’s the peace now. There is only chaos.” You glanced behind you looking at the former Pro before turning back to watch the fight.

“I’m sorry.” You hear All Might say, “I’m sorry we couldn’t save your parents, you don’t deserve to have all this hate and sadness in your life.”

You froze staring down watching your comrades and allies being hurt and your former friends and mentors dying due to your goals. “I wanted to help people. I wanted to be the kind of hero that saves everyone so no one is alone in their life. You can’t save me All Might you said so yourself I’m too far down this path to be saved.” You turn to him and he sees glimpses of the person you were in school, a curious girl with a strong quirk ready to help anyone in her class. You were just a child but you have had more problems than anyone has dealt with in a lifetime. 

“We can help you, just help us stop this, we can get you the life you always wanted.” All Might pulled against the restraints pleading to you.

“We both know how this fight ends, I’m never going to get that happy ending.” You turned around to look back at the fight when you saw the door entering the room was slightly open. “Smart All Might, distract me with some sappy excuse so the heroes could get in and save you. Who’s here, someone who could be invisible, Hagakure or Asui I know you were working on camouflage with your quirk.” You call out a red haze surrounding your hands ready to fight the intruder. You have no time to react when the window you were standing in front of shatters due to an explosion, another being sent to you sending you flying across the room. You hit the wall, denting it slightly, looking up to see Bakugo, Midoriya, Todoroki, as well some heroes and other students from other classes. “You’re all so good, coming to save him it’s pathetic.” You spit out blood that pooled in your mouth.

“Fight then, though a school uniform wouldn’t be the best suited for this.” Bakugo smirks looking at the uniform you were still in. You smirk getting up groaning slightly from how hard you hit the wall.

“Let’s change into something more suitable.” You slowly walk to them your outfit changing as a red haze starts from your feet changing your clothes. You now wore a red chestplate with angular faulds extending into an ankle-length skirt, elbow-length red fingerless gloves, black trousers and thigh-high boots, and an intricate red crown.

“You had to ask.” Todoroki looks over to Bakugo. Bakugo rushes towards you sending an explosion at your face but it fazes right through you.

“Gonna have to try harder then that.” You laugh now on the other side of the room holding All Might in your grasp blasting the people by him away. A blast of ice is sent to you but you dodge out of the way, with the ice distracting you. Midoriya punches you in the gut sending you flying out of the building down to where the fight was. Bakugo jumps out of the building grabbing onto you using his other hand to send an explosion sending you both shooting straight into the ground making a small crater.

Bakugo hears a groan and smirks, “Not that quick are you..” The dust clears out and Bakugo is shocked to see Midoriya underneath him instead of you. “How the hell did she.” He gets up pulling up Midoriya who holds his ribs in pain. “Where the hell did she go.” He looks around at the fighting around him not given much time to think as villains attack him.

You smirk running through the fight trying to find Tomura even if they were able to rescue All Might the heroes had just as many casualties then you did. You see Tomura disintegrate someone's arm pushing them away, but you could see he was getting overwhelmed with many Pros after him. You rush towards him but a wall of orange flames blocks you from reaching him. You turn to see who sent the flames and there was the number one hero Endeavor.

“You killed innocent people.” He says making his way towards you.

“I’m reshaping the future” You get ready to fight and Endeavor sends a blast of fire towards you and you could feel the heat from the blast. Before it could hit you blue flames appear blocking the attack.

“Go we both have our jobs.” You see Dabi standing in front of you, the flames growing in both men’s hands, both him and Endeavor ready to fight. You nodded running off to Tomura, Dabi can handle himself, like he said we each had our own jobs. You see Snipe aiming his gun towards Tomura and you stand in front of him. The bullets float in midair and you send them flying back in different directions. Some hitting heroes, others hitting villains you couldn’t care as long as Tomura was safe.

“They got All Might, what now.” You stand back to back with him using your quirk to break heroes bones, sending people flying across the field.

“Get the league here we leave now.” He answers, pressing his hand on a hero's face instantly disintegrating them. You spread your hands out closing your eyes, getting a picture of each member on the field and warping them to your location. 

“That was a weird feeling.” Toga giggles, throwing a knife into someone’s leg. 

“Time to go now.” Tomura says.

You hold your hands out and a portal opens up in front of you. Villains that are close to the portal rush to it as they don’t want to be left behind, and the heroes see this and rush to stop you all.

“You guys go, I can handle them.” You sent a wave of energy towards the heroes nearby, sending them back. “See I got thi-”

You heard it before you felt it. In all the noise and chaos happening around you it’s funny how this small noise from far away you heard. Maybe your quirk knew what was going to happen and in some sick way warned you knowing you wouldn’t be fast enough to stop it. Two sharp pains went through your body and you jolted a bit when they hit you. Why did it suddenly feel like everything was in slow motion, why was it hard to breath, god why is everything so quiet.

You look over at the League and you see Toga screaming but being held back by Mr. Compress, Spinner was standing there shocked looking at you, and Twice and Dabi were holding Tomura back as he struggled in their grasp screaming your name. All this was happening but it was quiet. You look down at your costume and you see two bullet holes blood staining it, one in your chest where your heart is the other in your stomach. Time sped up and the noise returned as you fell to your knees coughing out blood.

“Y/N! NO LET ME GO!” You hear Tomura scream, you hold out your hand.

“Go!” You wheeze, grabbing your chest as you cough up more blood. You look at each of them taking in an image of them as Mr. Compress pulls Toga through the portal, Spinner following after him, you see Tomura still struggling trying to get to you. You make eye contact with Dabi and just nod and he gives you a solemn one back using all his and Twice’s strength to pull Tomura through. You look at Tomura and smile, you would see each other some day.

“Tomura you look after me just like a big brother does! That’s what Kurogiri told me when I asked him.” A younger version of you smiles up to Tomura and he looks at you kneeling down to your height.

“I’ll always be with you and protect you.” He placed his hand on your head making sure to keep one finger up. You smile and giggle hugging him tightly burying your face in your chest.

“Thanks Tomura.”

With the last amount of strength left in you, you wave your hand closing the portal once Tomura has completely disappeared. You feel your weight shift unable to keep yourself up on your knees and fall to the ground. You saw green lightning and they caught you before you hit the ground. You see Midoriya’s face above you yelling out to someone but you're focused on the sky and how you could see the colors change as it almost reaches sunset.

“Hey come on stay awake help is on the way just stay awake.” You see his tear filled eyes stare down at you.

“Why..I’m a bad guy.” You wheeze and he laughs, tears filling his eyes.

“No one is ever truly bad.” You smile looking back towards the sky, “Hey come on don’t give up on me.”

You hear footsteps run up and it’s Aizawa and All Might. “Come on Midoriya.” Aizawa goes to pull him away but you grab Izuku’s arm.

“Please don’t leave me.” You whimper, tears filling your eyes. Izuku nods with tears in his eyes falling. “You heroes...always see the good.. in others...it’s nice.” You smile looking up at the sky and a tear slides down your face, and you wince feeling the sharpness in your chest. “I don’t wanna die.” You cry and that breaks the heroes standing in front of you.

“Your not going to help is going to be here any minute.” Aizawa reassures you and nods.

“The sky it’s pretty…tell them I’m sorry.” You cough your breathing getting more shallow and faint and you could swear you saw two figures standing above you. “momma... papa.”

She felt fear at first but it was inner peace as you saw a bright light.

Midoriya looks down ready to comfort you to tell you that help is coming, but stops when he sees you. Your gaze is on the sky, your eyes blank, a small smile on your face finally at peace.

Izuku lets out an anguish cry when he sees your chest not rising anymore. He cries for many reasons, the pain you went through to make you a villain, the hate you must have felt fighting your former friends, and him and all the heroes failing you.

The battlefield was silent as they looked at the young boy holding her body, many heroes felt guilt ebb at them for letting a misguided child die due to this life. Students from UA are lost at words from the loss of a former friend and student, they never expected this to come this far. Students from 1-A cry, seeing their classmate hold the body of their former classmate. Teachers and heroes that knew her look away not wanting to see her body in fear they would fall apart or cry in front of others.

This day would be remembered for years to come as the day the heroes failed at saving one girl that needed the most saving.

[youarejesting]

Sly like a... ? Part 6

[Master list] [Sly Master List] Beta: n/a (at the moment) Rating: All Pairing: Hybrid!BTS x FailedHybrid!Reader Genre: Hybrid au, fluff, action, adventure, angst, drama, slice of life. Some marked chapters will contain mature/smut scenes, BUT they will not have plot in those scenes and are 100% skippable without losing your place in the story. Words: 1.8k

Summary: Human’s strive to be better, faster and stronger looking to animal DNA. Thus Hybrids are born. As the rise for designer and Pedigree Hybrids increase, so do the failed attempts. There is one species scientists are unsuccessful in creating, but, folklore says they have been here all along, hiding and blending in with the humans for many millennia. How clever they are.

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There had been a moment when Taehyung seemed almost reluctant to leave, as if he was having fun with the hybrids around his age and you couldn’t blame him. He had spent his life with older people who didn’t really do anything particularly thrilling. 

But the night ended without any fights from any of the hybrids so you considered that a bonus. They were slowly becoming more accustomed to the other presence and though there were a few small shoves, hisses or choice words, all in all they were being polite.

Sitting at the dining table talking with Jimin about your plan tomorrow at the shopping centre, he was very close, you knew it was a dominance thing, that he knew you the longest and he was unintentionally rubbing it in the other hybrid’s faces. Seeing Jungkook’s eyes barely staying awake you wished him good night with a hug and told him to get some sleep. 

Yoongi was slinking around looking like he wanted to say or ask something but waiting for you to be alone. Seokjin and Namjoon both headed off to bed and Jimin reached over taking your hand. “How are you feeling?” he asked, his brows creasing in the same concern that laced his words, “you keep making sure we are okay, that no one has asked you?”

“I’m good,” you admitted with a smile, “how are you taking this?”

“You know I am used to it, we grew up in hybrid homes just like this one,” Jimin laughed, “gives me a bit of nostalgia.”

“The only thing that is unsettling at the moment is the smell of the carpet, it is driving me mental?” you laughed, “that bleach not only burns it just makes the place feel empty.”

“I know what you mean, but if you would like I can scent the house?” he wiggled his eyebrows. “like we used to?”

“Jimin we were children running around naked was okay back then now it would be weird,” you scoffed, pushing him away, “go to bed.”

“You want to sleep in my room?” he pouted, “there is no need to be a martyr”

“Thanks but, I am going to stay up a little later and work out some things.” Jimin walked into the hall eyeing the older hybrid and gave a deliberate, let me know if you need anything spiel.

“Hey Yoongi, is something wrong?” you smiled patting the seat beside you, he hesitantly sat on the seat keeping his distance. He seemed to mull over his thoughts and choose his words carefully before he attempted to speak.

“When I was in University the first time, I was studying psychology, I wanted to help young hybrids,” you repressed a squeal he was opening up and you were so proud, “I was wondering, if there is a chance I could continue that course? I still want to help other hybrids like myself.”

“Of course, that is perfect, I can get you ready I will get your folders and work transferred over and we can have you started in no time, they might ask you to do an entrance exam so if you don’t mind I can give you a little refresher with the other boys and then you will be all set, all the Uni classes are online, so you don’t have to worry about transport and it’s all paid for so money isn’t an option either.”

“I don’t like free things” he played with his sleeves, “I much rather get things on my own”

“Well, if you would like I can give you pocket money everyday and you can save it so that you don’t feel helpless. Let’s say accompanying me grocery shopping, I could wash up the dishes and you could dry and little things like that and I can give you... uh, fifty dollars a week,” 

“That is too much,” He said, shaking his head, “not when you are also paying room and board. That is way too much and I don’t want to take more of your money”

“It’s not my money, you forget, I am living free here as well,” you laughed, standing up and holding out your hand. He took it and you walked him to his room, “please don’t stress Yoongi, I promise you I am not as scary as I look, you are safe and I want you to feel safe and if that means you have a little money box under your bed than let’s do it”

Yoongi laughed, “You aren’t scary at all”

“I don’t know if you had seen her dancing this evening, that was scary,” Hoseok called from his room. He was a very easy going guy, he liked to hear the others better so he left the door open. It must be hard coming from the country with night noises and lots of hybrids snoring to a place that is genuinely quiet with the occasional sound of a car and his own room.

“Alright Yoongi time for bed, I am here now so I hope you like being tucked in?” you walked him to his bed and pulled the blankets up to his chin and you could hear the purs as you pet his head.

“I want to be tucked in too,” Jungkook wined down the end of the hall, and you froze as the chorus of me too filled the hall. Rolling your eyes you stood up pressing a kiss to Yoongi’s forehead and stepping out.

“Fine, let me start with Jin, you want to be tucked in?” You grinned and the oldest hybrid nodded vigorously from his bed. You made the rounds and visited every room, Namjoon announced he was already tucked in and would accept a good night. He was acting proud but you thought to try anyway. “your blankets are askew, let me help, you can’t be tucked in if your blanket is all wonky”

The excuse worked and he purred deep in his chest as you pet his head and kissed his forehead. Hoseok made you laugh and requested multiple kisses but received a “Don’t be greedy,” from his neighbor Jimin.

Jimin gave you his signature eye smile that you just knew was there even without your superior night vision. You thought about it and a lot of the hybrids in the house were nocturnal giving reason to their late bedtimes and keen senses in the dark. You weren’t too sure about Hoseok and Taehyung so that would be something to google before bed.

Stepping up to Jimin’s bed he grinned, “Tuck me in,” he declared his arms out as if he was getting a hug. 

“Okay but you have to lay down and stop squirming,” you reprimanded, making him still long enough to tuck him in placing a kiss on his forehead with a pat, his hands holding his tail as he always did when he slept. “You still hold your tail when you sleep”

He blushed and turned away, “I dunno it’s comfy”

“It’s cute, have a good night” you walked on to the last room where Jungkook was standing at his door obviously having gotten impatient. You walked him to his bed and sat beside him as he got comfortable.

“y/n, I love being here and I don’t want you to give me up but, I miss my family, I barely remember anything about my mother I can’t even remember what she looked like, all I remember is she smelt like clean cotton and sunny days” He said a few tears in his eyes. 

Wiping his eyes he sniffed, “I wanted to be cool for you, but I am just a big baby” he whined, “Can you stay with me until I fall asleep, sing me a song or tell me a story?”

“Alright, get comfortable and I will tell you a story koo” tucking him in you opened your mouth when he grabbed your hand, “Is something wrong?”

“You have to give me a goodnight kiss too, while I am awake or I won’t feel it” he gave a big cheeky grin and you laughed brushing his bangs to the side and pressing a small kiss on his forehead. “Alright I am ready”

“This was a story that I was told when I was young,” you shuffled onto the bed more, “in japan there are monsters and mythical creatures called yokai…”

“Yokai were sometimes even gods they could be good and they could be bad, the kitsune was a yokai, they said when a fox grew to a certain age they would be able to transform into humans” Felix spoke cleaning some of the toys off your bed.

“Like Hybrids!” You giggled, jumping on your bed, your stuffed toy under your arm, Felix tackled you onto your pillow and grinned, tucking you in and switching off the light. He reached over to turn on a small night light. “Or like the other story where they peel off their skin?”

“Alright, I admit it was a mistake to tell you that, are you still having nightmares?” he sighed rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I still haven’t been let off babysitting duty because of that, the earful Astrid gave me”

You laughed at his dramatic shiver, she wasn’t that scary, but Felix always seemed to think so. “If you know so many stories about fox hybrids then why did they make me, if they were already out there?”

“That is the thing little Kit, they aren’t hybrids” his smile was big and his eyes gleamed mischievously. “They are huli jing, kitsune and kumiho, they aren’t hybrids. These are special beings; foxes with the ability to transform into humans, they are special.” 

“If they can disguise themselves as humans how do you know they exist, have you seen one?” you were ever curious to know more about fox related things it made you feel like you were getting to know more about yourself and why you did the things you do”

“Humans can’t see them unless they wish to show themselves to them first, but they can see each other, they can’t hide from one another,” he hummed

“Are you a fox person Felix?” the memory of the other night in your head when you thought you saw two tails and some ears attached to him.

“I am just Felix and you young lady are up past your bedtime. So lay still so I can tell the story.”

“The fox breathed fire burning the forest and when their emotions calmed they saw the town destroyed and the woman the fox man had loved had died from the flames along with her new husband” you whispered, Jungkook’s little snores were cute and you readjusted the blanket and gave him another kiss on the forehead before retreating to the living room couch.

A thought passed by about perhaps using Taehyung’s room but you thought it was best to not invade his privacy, that was his safe place and your scent would ruin that. The thought didn’t last long as you were soon out cold from exhaustion.

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[xoruffitup]

2 Months Later: Still Thinking About Annette

Alright here I go, BACK ON MY BULLSHIT! It’s another analysis post absolutely no one asked for! :)))

So I have now seen Annette *pauses to count* six times: Twice in Cannes, twice in US theaters, then twice on Prime with friends who hadn’t watched it yet. I have yet to tire of it nor have I ceased to find new layers and questions each and every time. The initial shock of its strangeness has almost entirely faded, and now I can peer into the abyss (ba dum tsss) of even the deranged “I tickled her to death” scene without flinching.

What I’ve come to most admire about this film is the contrast of its richness and restraint. I know, it seems ridiculous to characterize anything in this movie as ‘restrained.’ But what I am principally referring to is its ambiguity. The film certainly has plenty to say, and touches on a panoply of biting social commentaries. Yet even for its moments of stark self-awareness and its constant challenging of the very divide between performer and audience/bystander (put a pin in that for later), it never moralizes. It never announces its message. It remains stubbornly strange and difficult to grasp. Its characters are both stereotypes and foils. Its world remains highly surreal, even while referencing social ills and controversies from our own reality. Henry is criminal and monstrous in one moment, then human and pitiable the next. Ann is the selfless face of the #MeToo movement one moment, vengeful ghoul the next.

There are two sides to every coin, and about a hundred different conclusions one could claim the movie to really be “about.” As my favorite review of the film aptly put it: “Annette masters its own paradoxes. It’s a highly cerebral, formally complex film about unbridled emotion. A work of art propelled by a skepticism about where art comes from and why we value it the way we do. (…) Utterly unreal and completely truthful.” I have no answers here, only a whole lot of thoughts and connections to roll around in and fling into the ether. LET’S GET STARTED.

The first recurring element that made me realize I needed to write more about this film: The monkeys. After six viewings, I hope I’ve spotted all the references: 

Henry’s show is “The Ape of God” 

He eats bananas before going on stage

Annette has a number of stuffed monkey toys throughout the film

That bizarre shot of a gorilla holding newborn Annette in a roomful of other gorillas in the “Something’s About to Happen” montage

Henry looks through the shop window at a toy monkey playing cymbals while he sings “I’m A Good Father” after being questioned by the police.

On top of that, Leos made a comment in a Q&A about Adam looking like a monkey but “not in a bad way” – more in a primal sense. So why does Leos have monkeys on the brain?

By my view, this drives at a key tension in Henry’s character and the reason for much of his discontent. His public persona exists as the unstable subject of both acclaim and contempt. Even at the height of his success, he is still derided by his public to a certain degree. (“Ann and me, you disagree? What, is it blasphemy? Is she too perfect, and I some loathsome insect?”) His audience laugh and laud his antics and crude misbehavior, while he contorts himself into displays of vulgarity and self-derision, making himself a source of entertainment more akin to an animal in a zoo rather than a human performing art. In this sense, his existence is paralleled to that of a performing monkey, willing to exhibit any and all kinds of antisocial, cynical, and even grotesque behavior so long as it holds the public’s attention.

We see in the film’s middle stretch, when Henry’s personal unraveling is precipitated by the decline of his stardom, just how dependent he is upon these public overtures. We see in the dreaded reenactment of the tickling scene just how far he’s willing to go to cling to his spotlight. The song in his stand-up show (“Laugh, laugh, laugh, but don’t leave me, don’t leave me, don’t leave me”) is really about Henry himself. We also see, in the film’s probing of the divides between artistry and artifice, how his dependence and desperation for public acclaim extend far beyond the stage. There are repeated instances of phantom audiences laughing at him – during the “I’m babysitting” interlude and when he “hears the stars laughing at me” just after he hears Annette sing for the first time when they’re stranded after the shipwreck. The laughter he elicits from his audiences haunts him, with its hint of mockery and scorn at his misanthropic eccentricity. He is not revered as an artist the way Ann is; rather, he is ogled like an oddity. Like a performing monkey, doing what the public has trained him to do. There is of course a tragic circularity here: Henry perverts himself to earn the public’s attention and love, feeding into their craving for the strange and shocking. In the very act, whatever love he hopes to receive becomes itself perverted, making him crave more.

(This troubled dependency is most directly captured in “You Used To Laugh”: “My dear public, ... you make me sick, you ruthless, unpredictable beasts.”)

This also connects to what ultimately becomes the undoing of Ann and Henry’s relationship: His jealousy and yearning for the same pure love Ann receives from her own public. Henry is never adored and idolized by his audiences the way Ann is by hers. I can’t help thinking the demonstration of this is the sole purpose of the scene where we see Henry come to Ann’s performance and watch her take her bows from backstage as the audience showers her with adulation. This is the thing Henry craves most, and why he acts the way he does (both on and off stage): To be loved that same way.

(I’m getting off course from the monkey thing but I’ll work my way back. Stick with me!! There are too many thoughts!)

The film’s tragedies are multi-layered, but chief among them is the fact that Henry’s craving for this same kind of veneration blinds him to the love he already receives from Ann. It makes him unwilling and/or unable to accept and internalize such love, let alone truly return it. Every time the melody of “We Love Each Other So Much” is repeated throughout the film, it grows increasingly somber and haunting – a far cry from the tender, pure-hearted declaration of its original form. The melody grows more melancholy as our understanding deepens of Henry’s character and our witnessing of his fall progresses. It becomes harder and harder to see this man as capable of a love like that, and we come to wonder whether he ever was at all. The exposure of his central tragic flaw – the reason for all this misfortune – is completed in the final scene, when Annette sings this melody for the final time with the opposite sentiment: “Now you have nothing to love.” Henry is plagued, to the end, by his compulsive need and yet incapacity for love.

His fraught, tormented relationship with his fame – trapped in this existence as nothing more than a performing monkey – defines his behavior both on and off stage. The mix of fascination and distaste with which his audiences regard him becomes internalized; shown to the extreme when we see newborn Annette being held by a gorilla in place of a father. He hates himself, is compulsively self-destructive through alcohol and pills, and yet is desperate for love and validation in any form. (It really all boils down to that line in “All The Girls”: “Hard to imagine all these fucking men who hate themselves but want us to love them.”)

Henry pretends to treat his audience with contempt, but then we see how he spirals once they turn on him. And since his show is a reflection of his truth - the only way he can admit it (he became a comedian because “it’s the only way I know to tell the truth without getting killed”), his performance of self becomes extreme and grotesque as his inability to love and be loved by either Ann or the public grows starker. He doesn’t know what to do with love or how to internalize it, and it becomes caught up in his self-destruction.

In Annette’s singing tour, Henry seeks a final chance to win back the public’s attention. (Why else would he need to take the stage himself to introduce her?) In another layer of tragedy, he subjects his daughter to the same existence that has for so long been his source of torment. She takes stages around the world, performing the same old song to the shock and delight of audiences everywhere – all while repeatedly shown holding a stuffed monkey.

This self-perpetuating cycle, subjecting first father then daughter to the whims and validation of flighty audiences, is not truly ended until the film’s final scene. Once Annette becomes a real girl, we see her fling the stuffed monkey away as she declares, “I will never sing again.” She rejects the role her father has tried to impose on her, and in so doing saves herself of the same fate. The camera shows that she leaves the monkey behind once she leaves – the symbol of both childhood and the exploitative existence she was forced into in attempt to win a fleeting illusion of love and affirmation.

This is also the moment Henry himself finally casts off the performing monkey complex – finally no longer willing to exist as a public spectacle; finally recognizing the costs were far too steep. “Stop watching me,” he murmurs to the camera in what becomes a more and more intriguing final line each time I hear it. A repudiation of modern media’s voyeuristic tendencies? A direct escalation of the film’s questions of performativity versus sincerity? The formal structural bookend to the film’s fourth wall-breaking first line: “May we start?” Or simply Henry departing the metaphorical stage for good?

I touched on Henry’s jealousy of Ann’s success as a key aspect of his character. There are a multitude of reasons why Henry is never adored by the public the way Ann is – some far beyond the simple reason of his show being of questionable taste. His jealousy is overt, menacing, and of course becomes the driver of the film’s great tragedy. Yet, I was continuously intrigued by the manner in which his underlying envy was expressed and escalated. Why is he so preoccupied with Ann “dying” on stage every night?

The very first time we hear them converse introduces this preoccupation and also establishes the diametric contrasts between them:

“How did the show go?” “I killed them. Destroyed them. Murdered them.” “Good boy.” “And your gig?” “I… saved them.” “You die so magnificently. Honey, you’re always dying.”

I kept asking myself just why Henry is so particularly bothered by Ann’s “dying” on stage. Why is this the thing he focuses on? Why does this fan the flames of his discontent and rage? Why is this representative of all he so yearns to have, but cannot?

During his first stand-up show: “She dies and dies and dies and then she bows and bows and bows. She’ll be bowing now till dawn. Honey, I love you so, but all that bowing’s got to go.”

While he’s home with newborn Annette: “Tonight, while she’s singing and dying, I’m babysitting.”

Of course, while waltzing in the storm: “Always trumpeting the sacred values. And then dying, dying, dying!”

The interesting thing is: This preoccupation isn’t fabricated within Henry’s head. He is not the only one equally horrified and mesmerized by the performance of a woman dying. We all, as a society, are as well. (Just why do we all know Gabby Petito’s name?) Ann’s fame grows and grows, swelled by rapturous audiences who applaud her death night after night. Her early line of “I saved them” codes her performed ‘deaths’ as sacrificial acts. As an artist, she is the very opposite of all Henry is: Selfless, beautiful, virtuous, and pure contrasted with Henry’s narcissism, vulgarity, menace, and im/amorality.

There are a number of frameworks through which to view this polarity – all of which seem equally valid and only add to the film’s complexity. In the most fundamental framework of gendered behavior, Ann is the archetypal woman to Henry’s archetypal man. He is brutish, dangerous, self-centered, and oblivious to the harms he causes. She is gentle, delicate, refined, and vulnerable. The imagery is not subtle. Just before “We Love Each Other So Much,” Ann’s neck is accentuated as both lovely and at risk as Henry’s massive hands hover at either side. 

The tickling scene is a fascinating indulgence and blurring of these archetypes. He approaches the bed as a hooded, menacing figure; she shrinks away, lifting her arms in a melodramatic show of self-defense. The image is almost comically self-aware. Then Henry sets upon her, and (though HIGHLY uncomfortable to witness) what follows is somehow both innocent and disquieting. He uses force, pinning her down beneath his considerable bulk and batting her hands away as he does what she implores him not to do. And yet, this is the only moment in the film when they share laughter, and the show of force then transforms into one of contented mutual affection.

In another brilliant display of ambiguous and opposing tensions, Henry and Ann are caricatures of gendered tropes, rendered so obviously that their apparent flatness reflects added meaning onto everything around them. Most interesting to me is the question of why Henry and Ann – tropes as they are – enjoy their respective versions of fame in the first place. I see this question as intimately connected to the film’s blurring of reality versus performance; and with it the eliding of boundaries between external audience and co-creator. Annette is more performance piece than it is film – casting the viewer as an active participant in the construction of its own experience by removing the fourth-wall, and by the artistic choice to show prolonged scenes of staged performances during which we are made aware of watching something both more immediate and distanced than actors in an enclosed, fabricated cinema world. It is also noteworthy that Henry’s audiences are shown as distinct individuals actively responding to his provocations – not merely a passive presence shrouded in shadow. His audience is both a stand-in for us as the viewers (the on-screen audience playing out our real-life responses to Henry’s degeneracy), and a vehicle through which we are called to self-examination.

Henry is a far more familiar character than any of us would like. The arc of his self-aggrandizement and self-hatred is utterly unoriginal, and this is intentional. We are left wondering why we – we being the audiences filling Henry’s show night after night, we being the cinemagoers sitting in the theatre, we even being the Netflix-bingers for whom consumption has replaced discernment – perpetually seem to give stages to men such as this. I won’t detour into political commentary here (though I can certainly see one), but will leave this thread at the question of what it tells us about ourselves, that such displays of male egotism are still so often met with applause and celebrity.

The question of Ann’s success is still more pernicious. The review I referenced in my opening calls the film “a critique of the romantic mythology on which its appeal would seem to depend.” Here is where I see that critique most directly played out – in its overt reference to the classical operatic and mythological traditions which underlie the film’s structure, enable Ann’s success, and ultimately essentialize her to the point of her own destruction. With few exceptions, the stories immortalized in opera are those of either seductive temptresses (think Carmen or La Traviata) or sacrificial virgins (think Brunnhilde throwing herself onto Siegfried’s funeral pyre), all of whom meet death before the curtain falls. I have a particularly vivid memory of seeing a production of Wagner’s Parsifal, advertised by an image of the hero standing atop a pile of female bodies. I remember the ad more clearly than the actual opera. Watching women “die and bow” is nothing new – we’ve been doing it collectively for centuries. Not only do we watch it again and again, but we elevate it to the echelons of High Art.

When you stare into the dark abyss (the “a-b-y-s-s, you illiterates”), the abyss stares back. Why do we as a society, as consumers, as viewers of art, continue to promulgate mythologies of murdered women and grant attention to displays of male entitlement and narcissism? From its very beginning, Henry and Ann’s story left very little to guess. Stronger than foreshadowing, Ann’s death and Henry’s descent into criminality were fated: Predetermined by the same dark desires and primitive gendered expectations by which they each initially rose to success.

Their existence as symbols, rather than individuals, leaves them little room to stray from their respective destinies. In consecutive, parallel scenes, we see how they are each haunted by the pervasive power of these regressive gendered mythologies. Ann dreams up an imagined #MeToo reckoning against Henry, casting him as the modern equivalent of the violent, chauvinistic male stereotype. Then, on the back of his bike, Henry sees visions of Ann meeting death night after night, always dressed in costume and sometimes murdered at the hands of men. It is only a matter of time until life imitates art. For purposes of this film, there was never much distinction between the two to begin with.

This is not to absolve Henry of personal culpability for his actions (or maybe it is, actually, because the idea of holding fictional characters ‘accountable’ for anything is simply asinine), but rather to say that Ann’s death should hardly come as a shock, predetermined as it was through every single sacrificial role she sang, and even her off-stage devotion to “saving” her audience. Before this background, there is little uniquely shocking or even aberrant in Henry’s actions (except maybe the fact that he didn’t intentionally murder her). This applies to both the on- and off-screen audience. There is something ironic and hypocritical in the same people who applauded Ann’s nightly deaths waving signs declaring, “Stop femicide.”

A few last thoughts on those particular moments that elicited different responses each time I watched:

Is the Conductor actually Annette’s father?

My take is no. First off, the timing doesn’t seem possible since Ann got pregnant after she and Henry were married. Then, the more I think about the Conductor’s character, the more I see him as deeply deluded, using Ann’s memory as both a comfort and coping mechanism after her death. It’s strange that we never see Ann so much as interact with him, let alone mention him. We see absolutely no indication that she feels anything at all for him. I can believe that she and the Conductor did indeed have a brief relationship before she met Henry, but it seems unlikely to have been much more than a fling.

What makes me suspicious of the Conductor’s claims is the fact that it’s only after Ann’s death that he begins to thread the narrative of them having fostered some secret love. At this point, she is no longer alive to dispute his story and he, in his grief over her, would have motivation to make himself believe he had been closer to her than he ever truly was. He can’t get much closer than being the father of her child, and I think he really grows attached to the idea during Annette’s concert tour.

I don’t think he lies about anything on purpose, but the result of his fantasies is that, ironically, he reduces Ann to a bargaining chip. His final words, “If only I had gotten Ann to love me more” always struck me as exposing his delusions. He does not regret her loss as a person; but rather the lost gain he himself could have had.

Melodramatic opera just wouldn’t be complete without two men fighting over a woman as if she’s an object – their true aim being supremacy over each other.

(Fangirl aside: ….. come on. Look at this little string bean next to ripped, primal sex god Henry McHenry and let’s be real, there’s little question who the father is.)

Finally, I can’t bring this to a conclusion without discussing THE OSCAR MONEY SHOT: That breathtaking, heartbreaking, exquisitely inscrutable close-up of Henry when Annette won’t sing at the Hyperbowl. Is he laughing? Is he crying? Both simultaneously? WHO CAN TELL?

Here’s my take: At this point, Henry has some idea of both what really happened on the boat and the fact that Ann is haunting him. This was established in those VERY narratively necessary shots of him taking his shirt off before getting in bed, where he asks himself, “Did I kill the one I love?” He recounts his recurring dream that “she’s here lying by my side,” and finally begs Ann’s forgiveness.

Ann is haunting him chiefly through Annette’s voice, so the fact that Annette now refuses to sing probably makes Henry think, in that moment at least, that he is free of Ann’s spirit. I imagine this would evoke a myriad of overwhelming emotions: Relief that he will no longer be tormented, but also sadness and loss that she is now truly gone from him.

Yes, I really do see all that on his face in those few long moments. Our fave is just THAT good.

So that about wraps up this latest installment of my overly involved analysis of the latest Adam Thirst Trap. :) Annette will always have a special place in my heart because it defined my Cannes experience, but it’s still an utterly singular and fascinating film no matter how you view it. Even if you take it purely at face value, it still delivers one of the wildest rides of your life.

To anyone who read this far: Thank you!! Keep talking to me about Annette in comments / asks! As you can gather, I literally never seem to get tired of it! <3

[rookie-ramsey]

Curveball, Chapter 6

Description: Two months after the ski lodge, life throws them a big surprise.

Preview: The words left Sienna’s mouth in a rush. “Olivia’s in labor. She’s in the ER right now. She was in a car accident and isn’t badly hurt, but it triggered labor.”

At that, Ethan felt his heart stop. His throat clenched, suddenly dry with worry. He didn’t remember breaking into a run, but the hallways of the hospital blurred past him as his feet carried him to the ER.

previous chapter

The baby shower began with lunch. Olivia got to go first, making sure to take at least one of everything. She took a seat next to Ethan at the table and leaned against his side as they started eating.

“How does it feel seeing a baby shower in your apartment? It looks like the baby aisle at Walmart exploded in here.”

Ethan chuckled. “I’m more concerned about what the conversation over there is related to.”

She arched a brow, watching curiously as Sienna whispered with Olivia’s mother and siblings and Alan in the corner of the room. “What could our relatives be gossiping about? My sister is writing something.”

“It’s hard to tell.”

After a few minutes, Sienna stood up and grinned. “We’re going to warm up with a little guessing game. I’ll tell a childhood story about one of the parents, and you guys get to guess who it was!”

Olivia couldn’t contain an amused smirk. “I guess this means I get to hear some more delightful Little Ethan stories.”

“Apparently so.” Ethan sighed.

Sienna glanced down at the paper and giggled before reading. “This parent used to wear a white bathrobe and plastic stethoscope and played hospital with stuffed animals. Who thinks that was Olivia?”

Several hands went up. Ethan bit back a smirk as her cheeks flushed a little.

“That’s right,” her mom confirmed. “She waltzed around the house in a little white robe, used every room in the house as a hospital room for her ‘patients,’ and insisted that we had to give them privacy.”

“It sounds like I’m finally getting some blackmail material,” Ethan whispered, earning an eye roll.

“Sure you are. Nothing will ever be more embarrassing than little you making out with your teddy bear.”

Sienna moved onto the next one. “True or false! When Ethan was really little, he had a fascination with Band-Aids.”

“Why do I think that’s true?” Olivia grinned.

“Because it is,” Alan confirmed. “When he was a toddler, all it took was a box of Band-Aids to keep him amused for several minutes. Of course, he put them on everything he could get his hands on. His toys, the furniture… the interior of the car on a road trip.”

Olivia laughed. “That’s adorable.”

“It’s wasteful.” Ethan shook his head, trying not to smile. The game continued for several minutes until people were finished eating.

Curious, Olivia watched as Sienna set out several unlabeled jars of baby food. “What are those for?”

Sienna grinned. “People have to guess the flavor by smelling it or taking a tiny taste if they’re brave enough. Just a heads up, the smells and tastes may not always be accurate!”

“Who goes first?”

“You pick.” Sienna handed her a basket containing slips of paper. Olivia reached it into, digging her fingers through the papers until she picked one. She opened it slowly to increase the suspense and smirked when she read the name.

“Zaid.”

Zaid startled, his eyes widening. “What?”

Amused, Olivia revealed the paper slip with his name on it. “You get to go first.”

Ines laughed and nudged Zaid toward the table. “Do it.”

He sighed. “I should have listened to my conscience and not put my name on that paper. I should have known better.”

Baz rolled his eyes and grinned. “Okay, Eeyore. Be a fair sport and play the game.”

Giving in, Zaid picked up the first jar and took a tentative sniff. He immediately set it down. “Is that supposed to smell edible? Because it does not.” He jotted down an answer on the slip of paper and reluctantly moved to the next one.

Olivia picked the second name. “Bryce, you’re up. Don’t chicken out.”

“You think I’d really back down? Never.” He picked up the first jar and smelled it, wrinkling his nose with uncertainty.

Jackie snorted. “I’ll pay you ten bucks to taste a mouthful.”

“Deal.”

Sienna handed Bryce a clean tongue depressor from the bag of supplies. “Here you go.”

Ethan arched a brow. “Are those from the hospital?”

“We didn’t have enough plastic spoons!”

“Stealing an entire Ziploc baggie of tongue depressors from a hospital that has thousands of them? Badass.” Bryce laughed and dug out a scoop of the baby food. He put it in his mouth, immediately making a face.

“Ten dollars,” Jackie reminded him.

Bryce swallowed it and tried not to gag. “That… was gross. Zaid, I’ll do your clinic hours if you try it.”

Zaid rolled his eyes. “Do I look like a moron? Don’t answer that.”  

After a few more games, they sat down to open the inordinate number of presents occupying their apartment. Olivia grabbed the first one and dug through the tissue paper until she found two tiny sets of pajamas designed to look like scrubs.

“These are so cute!”

Elijah grinned. “You’re welcome.”

Olivia picked a large present from her mom and nudged it toward Ethan. “Open that.”

Ethan removed the paper, exposing a box that seemed to contain some sort of sophisticated trash can. “What in god’s name is this?”

Rebecca laughed. “It’s a diaper genie! It’s basically a fancy trash can that’s supposed to contain the diaper smell inside them.”

“These exist?”

Rebecca chuckled. “Yes, and believe me, you’ll need it. If not for the diaper smell, then to stop them from getting into it when they learn to walk. When Olivia was a year old, she felt like knocking over a trash can full of diapers. Worst mess I ever had to clean up.”

“Really, Mom?” Olivia groaned. She opened the next present, which was from Sienna. She opened it and grinned as she dug out two stuffed dolphins, as well as two little onesies with dolphins on them.

“What do you think?”

“I love them!” Olivia folded the tiny outfits and put them back in the bag. She opened several more gifts, collecting plenty of clothes, diapers, and other necessities. When she opened the present from Baz, she giggled and held up the four matching sets of Christmas pajamas.

Ethan stared at them, his expression blank. “It’s October.”

Baz grinned. “So?”

“These are perfect. And I will make it my life’s goal to get Ethan to wear his.” Olivia gave Ethan a pointed look, wordlessly telling him he would not win the argument even if it wouldn’t happen for another two months.

Once most of her guests had left, Olivia curled up on the couch and rummaged through the gifts. Bryce and Sienna stayed to help her family clean up while Ethan helped her sort through their presents.

“I think this is my favorite.” She held up the picture frame from Alan, containing a copy of one of their sonograms and an empty slot they would use for a newborn picture when the twins were born.

Ethan thumbed through the customized journal from Naveen. His other hand subconsciously rested on Olivia’s stomach, and a moment later he felt the now-familiar little kick against his palm.

Olivia smiled, lightly placing her hand on top of his. “I don’t think you’ll ever know how cute you are when you do that. I don’t even think you realize you’re doing it half the time.”

“I guess it’s become an instinct.” Ethan slipped his arm around her.

“A cute instinct.” She gave his hand a squeeze. Stifling a yawn, she rested her head on his shoulder. “I can’t believe it’s already October. By December, they’ll be here. I feel like it’s gone by fast and slowly at the same.”

Nodding in agreement, Ethan pressed a kiss to her head. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired. Opening presents and eating is a lot of work when you have two people inside of you.”

He chuckled and drew her closer to his side. “I’m sure it is.”

Olivia draped her arm across him and snuggled into his chest. A mischievous smile lifted the corners of her lips. “I never thought I’d see Dr. Antisocial Ramsey attending a baby shower.”

Ethan rolled his eyes. “You forget that I’m capable of surprises.”

XXXXXX

It didn’t take long for maternity leave to give her cabin fever.

Since twins were almost always born earlier than expected, she scheduled her C-section for the 37th week. Even that was pushing it, but she wanted to let them develop as long as possible.

Halfway through her fourth episode of House, her phone chimed with a message from Ethan. She picked up her phone and grinned when she saw a picture of two baby onesies, each with the caption “Relax, my parents are doctors.”

She grinned as she looked at the picture to see that the onesies were blue and green to match Edenbrook’s logo. She typed a response, glancing at the time and realizing she would need to get ready for her appointment soon.

As she showered and dressed, a kick in her abdomen reminded her of just how soon their lives would change.

XXXXXX

As 1:30 approached, Ethan slipped out of his office to meet Olivia for her 35-week appointment. He pocketed his phone and car keys and made his way toward the elevator.

“Ethan!”

Ethan stopped, turning at the urgency of the voice behind him. He frowned, seeing Sienna rush toward him. “What happened?”

The words left Sienna’s mouth in a rush. “Olivia’s in labor. She’s in the ER right now. She was in a car accident and isn’t badly hurt, but it triggered labor.”

At that, Ethan felt his heart stop. His throat clenched, suddenly dry with worry. He didn’t remember breaking into a run, but the hallways of the hospital blurred past him as his feet carried him to the ER.

He made his way to the closed curtain in the corner and shoved it aside, finding Olivia resting on the bed with Bryce standing at her side. She held an ice pack to her bruised temple, clutching her stomach with her other hand.

Olivia looked up, her eyes wide with panic. “Ethan, it’s… it’s too soon for this to happen! I’m not supposed to have the C-section for two more weeks! My… my water broke in the cab…”

“Shh…” Unsure if he was trying to calm himself or her, Ethan took her face into his hands and met her worried eyes. “Everything’s going to be okay. I want you to take a deep breath and focus on me. Okay?”

Breathing shakily, she tried to take a deep breath. The heart monitor next to her beeped sharply, indicating her rising blood pressure. She winced when a contraction tore through her.

Ethan looked up, forcing his voice to remain steady for her sake. “Lahela, who’s on the OR floor right now?”

“Tanaka, but he’s in a heart transplant right now.”

“Scrub in.”

Bryce’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? I’m her friend.”

“Bryce, please. We can’t risk waiting too long,” Olivia pleaded, her voice trembling.

Bryce took one look into his best friend’s panicked eyes and nodded. “Alright. I’ll do it.”

Taking Olivia’s hand into his own, Ethan let out a small sigh of relief. “How nervous will you be?”

“More nervous than I’d be operating on a stranger, but I can do it. I promise,” Bryce assured him. “Let’s go.”

Ethan moved to the head of the bed. He kept a firm grip on Olivia’s hand as they rushed to the available operating room. Her hand clutched his tightly, seeking the reassurance. When they reached the OR, she squeezed her eyes shut against the threat of tears.

“Hey…” Ethan’s hand cradled her cheek. “Everything will be alright. Please try to believe me.”

“I’m trying…”

He helped her turn onto her side so she could receive the injection for the spinal block. Olivia gripped his hand, wincing when the needle pierced her skin. She let out a long sigh as Ethan gently turned her onto her back again.

Sensing her need for comfort, Ethan brushed a strand of hair from her face. “Talk to me. Try not to focus on the risks right now. Tell me the likelihood of both babies being fine.”

Olivia’s face furrowed in thought as she wracked her mind. “Babies delivered at 35 weeks have a 99 percent chance of survival, presuming that they don’t have pre-existing conditions.”

Ethan nodded, relieved when she seemed to relax a little. “You’re right. Remember that.”

He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as he tried to convince himself to believe his own words. They gave the spinal block five minutes to take effect before transferring her to the operating table.

Ethan’s heart thudded against his ribs as Bryce and the surgical team he’d assembled gathered around, ready to begin. “Please tell me this isn’t your first time.”

“I’ve done one solo and assisted on three. I can do this,” Bryce assured him. He took a deep breath and firmly gripped the correct scalpel. “Ready to make the first incision.”

Ethan rested his hand on Olivia’s cheek. His thumb gently grazed her jaw. “Bryce is starting now. Focus on me and think about the fact that in just a few minutes, the babies will be here and they’ll be fine.”

Olivia leaned into his hand and drew in a long breath. With the numbing agent, she couldn’t feel the incisions. She squeezed her eyes shut, focusing on Ethan’s fingers raking gently through her hair.

The minutes that passed ticked by agonizingly as she tried to think about anything other than the chance of something beyond their control going wrong. Her racing heart slowed just a little, allowing some of the tension to leave her body when Bryce announced that they were in.

“Everything’s going fine. Just keep hanging in there, okay? I can see the first baby,” Bryce assured her.

“Hear that?” Ethan laced his fingers through hers. “They’ll be out soon.”

Olivia nodded, her movements slowing a little. The monitor next to her beeped as her blood pressure suddenly started to drop, first to a normal rate and then a little lower. Ethan frowned, worry etching his features.

“Her BP is dropping. She could become hypotensive.” He knew the complication was common during cesareans and that there was only a minimal chance of serious risks, but that didn’t stop his heart from racing faster.

Bryce picked up the pace a little, keeping his hands steady as he finished the incision and instructed one of the other residents to place the clamps. “We’re ready to get baby number one out!”

Moments later, a cry rang through the operating room as Bryce removed the first baby. When Bryce passed the newborn to him, Ethan reacted with an instinct he didn’t know he had and immediately cradled his son in his arms.

Ethan’s heart skipped a beat, swelling with affection. Olivia blined groggily before slipping into unconsciousness. His throat tightened with anxiety as he reluctantly surrendered the newborn to a nurse for an examination.

“Olivia.” He firmly patted her cheek, torn between fear and relief when she let out a subconscious groan in response. A minute later, he looked up as Bryce removed the second baby.

For a long moment, time slowed to a crawl when the baby remained quiet. Just as Ethan felt his chest clench with panic, the newborn emitted a loud cry that made him weak in the knees. He held his arms out, accepting his daughter into them. His heart stuttered in his chest as he gazed down at the fussing baby.

He held her for a few moments before letting the nurses take her. His mind swam with mixed emotions as he returned to Olivia’s side.

Ethan waited nervously as Bryce closed her up. A relieved sigh escaped him when Olivia’s blood pressure started to creep towards normal. “Bryce?”

“Yeah?”

“Good work.”

Once Olivia was transferred into a private room, Ethan stepped into the hallway. He slipped his phone out of his pocket and started the call. “Dad? If you’re not busy, you might want to make a trip to Boston…”

“Is everything okay?”

“Your grandchildren were just born. I thought I’d… did you already hang up?” Shaking his head, Ethan slipped his phone back into his pocket and looked up as Naveen approached him, a wide grin on his face.

“I just heard some gossip that my two favorite employees just became parents.”

Ethan nodded, unable to stop a wide smile from forming on his face. Naveen pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tight. Ethan returned it, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. “Olivia passed out during the C-section, but she’ll be okay. She should be awake in just a couple of minutes.”

“I won’t keep you from her. I’ll come meet those babies later. You go be with your family.” Naveen released him and squeezed his shoulder.

“Thank you.” The smile never left Ethan’s face as he quietly slipped back into the room to check on Olivia and the babies.

His family.

He liked the sound of that.

Next Chapter

Note: This was definitely my favorite chapter so far. Stay tuned for more! 

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep10: Kaiba Embarrasses Himself on International Television Again

We start off this duel by teasing us into believing that this is a part of a theme park:

The Kaiba theme park is a weird mix of actual horrorscapes and animal crossing cutesy stuff...you can really tell what parts were Mokuba and what parts were Seto in this park.

But Leon takes it well, just kinda standing there as he’s done this entire arc--being a general forgettable nice boy who just...doesn’t do anything. Like he gets up, he plays cards, he sits down. Having him on top of a rock with melodramatic Little Mermaid waves crashing at his feet is laughably the opposite of Leon’s whole vibe.

Leon just seems like the type that listens to coffee shop ambient Youtube videos when he wants to amp himself up. This kid appears to attend a private school...somewhere...I think, and just went to a dueling competition in his school outfit because he literally doesn’t have a style of his own hanging in his closet.

Like Yugi wears his school outfit, but he does that ironically, to off-set the amount of makeup and hair spray he has in his hair. Leon wears the school outfit maybe because he admires Yugi so much, but is like “time for my rogue bow I wear in my hair. That’ll scare my competition.” He completely missed the point of the 00′s alt school outfit scene.

I do way too much art to not see the imagery. I feel like this is half my job, and playing “where’s the hidden Freudian meaning?” is half the fun of going to any art museum.

(read more under the cut)

Anyway, Seto got tired of no one paying any attention to him, so he stepped out of his 14-monitor mancave, he very quickly pulled his Dragon outfit out of the (dirty) laundry, flicked a couple sea crabs out of his pockets, spritzed it with Febreeze and called it “good enough.”

Like, is it just me, or has dragon jacket greyed out a tad from last season? Like it’s starting to get a little...worn? Like what funk is coming off of Seto Kaiba right now?

Also notice that he brought his giant stash of cards to the duel. He’s going to put on this show as if he’s not going to pull out the giant stash of cards. But like...he’s going to pull out the giant stash of cards. Like Hell boring ass Leon is going to play his deck of Candyland characters again.

Leon is declared a winner on Technicality and it’s like.

Damn Seto, for reals?

So congrats, Leon, you did literally nothing, again, and yet you mystifyingly  persist on this show. Clearly you aren‘t going to grow a second head out of that ponytail like professor Quirrel in the last act of this arc.

That’s when Yugi’s hazy memory recalls something from the Before Times of “that time period before I was possessed by a needy ghost that eats up 3/4 of my memories and time.”

So Schroeder is Atari. Neat.

Also, this makes Zigfrieds outfits a hell ton more endearing when you realize he’s this Willy Wonka game company owner making toys for children. Kinda makes you wonder why Seto’s such a stick up the ass in comparison when it’s like--dude Kaiba, maybe you could learn a thing or two about whimsy. It could really help out your inconsistent park.

Anyway, Kaiba quickly realized who hacked the park and so, understandably, he asked Zigried to leave, which...backfired?

Y’all card culture is a lot. Everyone in the audience covered their faces in shame because they were so embarrassed by Seto Kaiba and I’m like...not sure why? Because he didn’t do a duel? Against this guy who snuck into his tourney not unlike Rex and Weevil? This asshole?

Recall that the last time Seto played a guy who had a fake name it was Marik freakin Ishtar and he killed a LOT of people (actually, it was Alister, pretending to be Pegasus, but he also killed a lot of people so that still tracks). Card culture can’t seem to learn from their mistakes, although Seto clearly sees the problem with dueling a professional hacker in a digital card game on a hologram that may or may not be able to murder you. At least its not a magic.

And so, tired of being humiliated on television, Seto decides to bust out the dueling gloves (well, not those gloves. You know what I meant) and use the equipment he BROUGHT WITH HIM and clearly never intended not to use in the first place.

(I hope you enjoy this dutch angle that wasn’t quite dutch enough, so it just looks like they’re lounging)

Roland patiently walks over from...somewhere? I don’t know where Roland comes from whenever he pops up, but he waltzed over to hold onto this suitcase as if that’s a formal part of his job.

I say this so often but like...I don’t know what Roland’s job is. He’s like a valet/butler/duel referee/duel cheerleader/CEO/and I will spend the rest of this series trying to understand it. Part of me is like...could Roland be a temp worker at an agency who just gets rehired for a different Kaiba Corp job every couple of weeks?

That weird ass fourthKaiba, I will never understand Roland.

Just one letter away from being a Zigfriend, Kaiba. Just one letter away. I know this because I misspell friend a LOT.

Zigfreind? Zigfriend? Damn it, both of them look the freakin same to me, this sucks! Why can’t I spell friend without autocorrect!?

Just the amount these two fight when Seto clearly barely even remembers who this guy even is.

Leon shows up in the seats, pretending that he’s totally cool about winning on a technicality right after Zigfried went on a rant about how shameful, irredeemable, and mortally embarrassing winning on technicalities are.

He seems to take it pretty well, smiling, sitting next to Rebecca, and then dissolving right into the background because this kid’s whole deal is being way too nice to exist on this show.

Y’all we just had that art meme where people were redrawing that “How to draw manga face” and guys...that’s what our anime used to look like.

I mean look at that uncomfortable chin there, that tapers in for some reason. Those eyes melting off of her face. The lack of any 3d sense. This was an anime ideal for a very, very long time.

Anyway, the “how to draw manga face” is a perfect masterpiece and never needs to change. (But it is fun to make fun of it although I guess the person that drew it was actually a kid, which makes sense from a publishing perspective to have a kid make a book about how to draw stuff for kids.)

We see a little flashback of Schroeder and why he hates Seto Kaiba, and can I just say, I kind of love this little outfit. Kind of a shame that it’s stuffed into a flashback.

Which is when we found out that Zigfried thinks Seto Kaiba did a plagiarism.

Which is hilarious because it was Gozaburo Kaiba who was plagiarizing Seto, so like...who did it first?

OK guys. Lets talk about this.

APPARENTLY, there was some sort of contest to work with Pegasus...kind of like an architecture contest (which is a thing, when a city is doing a big project, they send out a call, and big firms will compete to see who builds it) and I GOTTA know what Pegasus’ theme was.

Like did he say to all the little rich kid geniuses “I would like something that makes my cards ALIVE, can you do that?” Then when Pegasus got a hell ton of holograms and was he like “But ALIVE--it makes it alive, right boy?” And when he was shaking the hands of each stupid kid was he like “So if I hypothetically put my dead wife on a card and slapped it into the machine--could she EXIST. Like...enough? I just need her to legally exist is all, and not like..literally of course...but enough literally to be a sin against God, can you do that?”

I just want to know if Willy Wonka Wonderkid Von Schroeder had any idea he was creating a resurrection chamber for a dark wizard. Like he has no idea that he dodged getting his business bought straight from under him and his soul shoved into a card. And it’s not like Schroeder was going to abduct Yugi’s Grandpa and ensure that Yugi would be there to save him down the road. Like I’m pretty sure Schroeder would have been sacrificed waaay before that whole island contest even went down.

Zigfried got so freakin lucky. I can’t believe he’s mad. But then again...

...the man swims in milk pools so like...maybe his logic center is busted? Maybe he wanted to die in a horrific murder island? I don't know what Zigfried is into, but I do know that because Zigfried doesn’t have millennium rod powers linking him to the millennium eye--so would it have mattered? There’s destiny reasons that Pegasus chose Kaiba.

Course...we never found out where the scales ended up, have we? We think it’s Shadi, but have we seen Shadi bust those out since Season Zero?

Man that would be a good plot twist that will absolutely not happen.

Yo, make horse guy into a dark wizard, show, I dare you!

Anyway, that’s all for now, but if you want to read from the beginning, here’s the link:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[artificialqueens]

Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer), Chapter 9 (Branjie, Jankie) - Joley

ao3 link

Chapter Summary: We pick back up a few months after Jackie and Jan make their relationship official and Brooke Lynn and Vanessa set their sights on their future daughter. Everything finally falls into place.

Three Months Later

It was nearing the middle of January, in the midst of winter break. Katya, Jan, and Jackie were in Brooke Lynn and Vanessa’s apartment, busily decorating and making sure every little thing was in place according to the couple’s specific instructions. This was the day they had been anticipating for quite some time, after all.

The three of them were setting up for a welcome home party, as while they were doing so, Brooke and Vanessa were on their way home with their daughter. The papers were signed, the documents were made official, they were finally going to officially welcome Ana Sofia into their family.

Although it did feel like they already had her – the moms-to-be had talked about her at length, read them every detail of her biography until they could recite it from memory. She was three years old, half-White and half-Puerto Rican – when the two of them read that on her file, they thought it had to be fate. The story of the girl’s parents wasn’t uncommon, but it was a situation they could feel sympathy towards – a nineteen-year-old girl had been in a relationship with a man nearly twice her age, who left once he found out about her pregnancy, only for the young mother to find out the father was leaving the country. With his wife.

Brooke Lynn and Vanessa had been contacted by the woman while they were in the midst of the adoption process. She was kind and soft-spoken and it was clear she had only wanted the best for her biological child. They had agreed to visit the idea of allowing a relationship between her and Ana Sofia when she was old enough.

“God, she looked so young,” Brooke Lynn had said once they had left the meeting. “Like, shit, she was Jan’s age when she had her… that’s how old you were when we met.”

“Can you imagine if I was pregnant when we met?” Vanessa asked, shaking her head.

“With the number of men you’ve threatened to castrate? No, not really.”

But even though they had gone through all of the preparation, had meticulously completed every step, the day of their new daughter’s arrival felt unreal. After the bedroom had been painted and carpeted, after all sorts of toys and stuffed animals had been purchased, after every inch of the apartment was childproofed, wrapping their heads around finally bringing their little girl home felt hard to do.

It wasn’t the first time they had met her, of course. They’d been having supervised visits for nearly two months. They had bonded with Ana Sofia, they loved her. She’d met the people in their lives – Jan, Jackie, Katya, she even got to meet Brooke’s mother when she visited for Christmas and Vanessa’s when they went there for New Year’s Eve.

“You ready to go inside?” Brooke gently asked the little girl, though she was the most nervous out of the three of them.

Ana Sofia looked up with her big, brown eyes and nodded, one hand holding Brooke’s and the other carrying the bright pink teddy bear they had bought for her. “Yeah!”

Vanessa opened the door to a cheerful greeting of ‘welcome home!’ and looked at the way her new daughter’s eyes lit up with enthusiasm. She carried Ana Sofia’s suitcases into her bedroom, letting the young girl run around and greet everyone. “Go on and make yourself comfy, Sofie,” she encouraged.

It didn’t take long for Sofie to get acclimated to the apartment she had already started to get used to, winding up on the couch with their cat on her lap.

“How are you guys feeling?” Katya asked the new mothers. She was calm in a way that would otherwise be unnerving, but without the normal ulterior motives, it was a welcome change.

“I haven’t been this excited since our wedding day,” Brooke replied with a broad grin, her arm looping around Vanessa’s waist. “It feels like this is what everything was leading up to. Like we’re finally whole.”

Vanessa nodded in agreement. “You shoulda seen her when we picked her up and told her she was coming home for good. You’d think we live in Disneyland or something,” she chuckled.

Katya grinned. “I can’t begin to tell you two how proud I am. You’ve come such a long way from two kids struggling to confront how they felt about each other, I don’t think I’d have ever predicted this.”

“We wouldn’t have been able to without your flagrant disregard for our personal boundaries, so thank you for that,” Brooke teased. “Though I guess we did learn from the best as far as that goes,” she added, cocking her head towards Jan and Jackie.

“They were worse than us, you gotta admit,” Vanessa chimed in.

“Yes,” she conceded, “which isn’t an easy task with what a nightmare you guys were. But I think they’re in it for the long haul too.”

Jan and Jackie were sitting with Ana Sofia on the couch, talking animatedly about all of the fun things they would be able to do, how much they were looking forward to babysitting her.

“We have to take her to a show at some point,” Jan mused, “maybe f-r-o-z-e-n,” she spelled it out, knowing better than to say it in front of a child and set her off in excitement.

Jackie chuckled softly in amusement. “Yeah, maybe for her birthday,” she mused, then looked down, clearing her throat. “Baby… can I talk to you privately for a moment?”

Jan’s brows knitted in concern, but she nodded and got up, following her girlfriend into the guest room. “What’s up?”

“I was gonna wait until later, but I can’t wait any longer,” she replied, rocking back and forth on her feet. She was always so careful with her words, especially with Jan. But she’d also learned from Jan that sometimes it was best to be direct. “I want you to move in with me.”

There was a beat of silence, a surprised Jan needed a moment to process what’s been said. But then a broad grin spread across her lips and she nodded brightly. “Okay,” she threw her arms around Jackie, “I’d love to.”

Jackie’s entire body relaxed as a wave of relief washed over her. “Great. Amazing. Perfect. We can go back to your parents’ place to pack up your things whenever you’re ready. I mean, I don’t wanna rush you or anything, but I think it’d make sense before the semester–”

Jan cut her off by kissing her deeply. “Baby, I love you, but you talk way too fucking much when you’re overthinking,” she chuckled. “My parents will be thrilled to not have to pay for room and board, they’ll happily cover my share of the rent. We can go tomorrow or over the weekend, whatever,” she assured and kissed her again. “Just relax, we’re doing this. Everything is fine.”

“You’re right,” she exhaled, hugging her tightly. “I love you so much.”

Their tender moment was interrupted by a loud banging on the door. “Y’all better not be behaving inappropriately during my baby’s party!” Vanessa yelled.

Jan giggled and opened the door. “We’re not,” she promised, even though Jackie was blushing. “Actually… Jackie just asked me to move in with her.”

Vanessa’s scowl was instantly replaced by a bright grin. “For real? Congrats!” She turned to yell into the main room, “Brooke Lynn! Jan and Jackie are moving in together!” She then dragged the couple back out, holding each of them by the wrist, not that either of them were putting up any resistance. They both knew better than that.

Brooke looked up, chuckling warmly at the enthusiasm her wife had for the couple. “You guys are moving in together? Congrats. We’d offer to help but, you know, very busy with the new child.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll coerce Gigi and Crystal to help us. They can be bribed with weed and snacks,” Jan replied with a shrug and a light laugh.

“Oh, are we finally getting proof that Crystal exists?” Brooke asked with a light laugh. It had become something of an ongoing joke – Gigi talked about her all the time, often relentlessly, but none of them, other than Jan, had ever met Crystal. And even though Jan had, she liked to play along for the sole purpose of annoying her friend.

Jan laughed and nodded. “I promise we’ll FaceTime you when we have her here in the flesh.”

——

Jackie caught her breath as she came back upstairs after taking a pile of boxes to load up in the back of Jan’s father’s van. “I still can’t get over how nice your parents’ house is,” she remarked as the two of them sat on the floor of Jan’s bedroom, folding her clothes to pack into boxes. “I know you said your family was well off, but damn.”

Jan shrugged and awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. “It’s not something I try to make a big deal about,” she explained, then looked up when the door opened and let out a soft laugh. “There you are. We were starting to worry you two got lost.”

“In our defense,” Gigi said as she and Crystal walked in, “we’ve never made this commute before. And we warned you neither of us have any sense of direction.”

“The Amtrak and I are enemies now. But at least we got Krispy Kreme while we waited,” Crystal added cheerily.

Jackie chuckled lightly. “And you didn’t bring any? Rude,” she clicked her tongue then looked to Jan. “Don’t forget, we promised Brooke and Vanjie we’d call to let Gigi prove Crystal isn’t a figment of her imagination.”

“Can you really prove I’m not?”

Jan and Jackie giggled while Gigi rolled her eyes and waited for Jan to get her phone out, calling up Brooke Lynn on FaceTime.

“Hey hun,” Brooke greeted. She was sitting with Vanessa and Ana Sofia, the sound of cartoons playing in the background. “How’s the big move going?”

Jan pushed herself to her feet. “Can’t complain, we’re not making ourselves crazy considering it’s not too bad of a commute. For us, anyway,” she pointedly looked at Crystal and Gigi at the last part.

“Show us the imaginary girlfriend!” Vanessa interrupted, leaning further into frame. “Katya thinks it’s gonna be Jackie with a wig on.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Gigi muttered under her breath, taking the phone from Jan and holding it up so she and Crystal were in the frame. “Vanjie, Brooke, tiny child, this is my girlfriend, Crystal. Who does exist.”

Crystal laughed softly. “Wow, this really bothered you,” she observed. “Why didn’t you just FaceTime me sooner?”

“Because we woulda called you a hologram,” Vanessa retorted before Gigi could answer, eliciting laughter from Brooke as well as Jan and Jackie.

Gigi pouted and crossed her arms. “I hate all of you,” she muttered, then added, “except for the kid, she’s cool.” And with that, she hung up and handed the phone back to Jan.

Jan chuckled and put her phone away. “You’re so cranky,” she cooed, getting up and grabbing her purse. “Here, let me smoke you out now. It’s the least I could do,” she offered, placing a joint between Gigi’s pouting lips and lighting it, watching her friend relax and smoke in spite of herself.

Jackie watched in mild amusement before glancing down as her phone went off. “Aw, Jaida just got back from Milwaukee and Nicky was waiting for her at the airport,” she read off her phone, then held it up to show the selfie Jaida had taken of the two of them.

“Wonder whatever happened to Nicky’s ‘no dating until graduation’ rule,” Jan mused with a laugh as she went back to folding shirts and packing them away. “Or are they still ‘not putting a label on it’?”

“The latter,” she confirmed. “But I know Jaida, she’s not gonna put up with that forever. She called me out on my bullshit plenty and she’s not the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ type.”

“I just love that Nicky’s role in your life is essentially the girl that fucks the women closest to you. It feels like a metaphor or something. Frankly, I think you need to have sex with her just to bring it all full circle,” Gigi mused, to which Jackie responded by throwing a pair of jeans at her.

“Fuck off,” Jackie laughed. “I’d much rather her fuck my best friend than my girlfriend any day.”

Jan offered her a reassuring smile and nod. “There’s no plans on that happening again, don’t you worry… unless you want a threesome,” she joked.

“Hey Jan,” Crystal interrupted, “when do you hear back from that thing you auditioned for? What was it again?”

The calm smile on Jan’s lips shifted into a nervous one. She stopped folding, instead fiddling with the fabric in her hands. “It’s an official shadow cast production for The Rocky Horror Picture Show, a solid five week stint. The website is posting callbacks on Thursday morning, then they post who made the final cut I think… four days after that.”

Jackie scoffed playfully. “Right, ‘if’. Baby, you know you have that on lock, just like you got Veronica without breaking a sweat.”

“I broke many sweats, but I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

——

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Jan did receive a callback and, four days later, was incessantly refreshing the company’s website waiting for the cast list to be posted. The list was set to go up at nine in the morning, but she had been checking since a quarter to, just in case. “God, what’s taking so fucking long?”

Jackie watched, trying her hardest not to laugh. “Honey, it’s five after. Take a breath before you pop a blood vess–”

“It’s up!”

She rushed to her girlfriend’s side, hand gripping onto the back of the desk chair tight enough to turn her knuckles white. “Well?”

“I got Janet!”

The two of them jumped up in tandem, hugging and squealing in pure elation. “Oh my god!” Jan beamed, “this is so exciting!”

Jackie pressed kisses over Jan’s face, culminating with a tender kiss to the lips. “I knew you would get it. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank god I’m living with you now,” she mused out loud, “juggling this with classes, as excited as I am, I just know I’d let myself get way too overwhelmed and no one keeps me grounded like you do.” They had learned about this in the last few weeks before Heathers. Jan had been on the brink of a nervous breakdown and only Jackie had been able to talk her down.

“I’m happy to be that anchor for you,” Jackie smiled. “And if this ends up being like Heathers and you need help rehearsing the ‘sexy’ song…”

Jan giggled, hiding her face against the crook of Jackie’s neck. “Yeah? You’re gonna be my Rocky while I work on ‘Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me’? It’s a very different sexual energy than ‘Dead Girl Walking’.”

She tilted her head. “I don’t think they’re that different, but the end goal of using it as foreplay remains the same.”

“I can’t argue with that,” she conceded, sitting down on the bed. “Did you ever think this would be where we would end up after that night? When we thought we’d broken down a big wall by giving in to our unavoidable lust?”

“Not for a second,” Jackie admitted with a laugh, sitting beside her. “I hoped it was the start of something, but falling in love with you was never in the cards.”

Jan smiled and rested her head on Jackie’s shoulder. “Me neither. But I wouldn’t change a thing. The rollercoaster we were on brought us right to where we needed to be.”

“It did,” Jackie took Jan’s hand in her own and squeezed it. “It really did.” She looked up and out the window. “Do you think history will repeat itself again? That a few years down the line we’ll find our own pair of useless lesbians to play dysfunctional cupid with?”

She chuckled softly and shrugged. “I dunno. I remember Vanjie told me how once you’re in love, it’s easier to see it happen to other people. I guess anything is possible.”

[missjanjie]

Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) | (9/9)

Title: Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) Summary: A sequel to Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer. Brooke Lynn and Vanessa are back at NYU, but with new and improved positions. Brooke’s ready to start her career as a professor when, as fate would have it, she realizes her TA, Jackie, might have the hots for a student named Jan. The couple just might see it as a sign to give two new girls the love story they found in the same place. Word Count: ~2.7k (this chapter) / 26,700 (total) Relationship(s): Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo), Jankie (Jan Sport/Jackie Cox) Rating: E

read on ao3 | ko-fi

Chapter Summary: We pick back up a few months after Jackie and Jan make their relationship official and Brooke Lynn and Vanessa set their sights on their future daughter. Everything finally falls into place.

-

Three Months Later

It was nearing the middle of January, in the midst of winter break. Katya, Jan, and Jackie were in Brooke Lynn and Vanessa’s apartment, busily decorating and making sure every little thing was in place according to the couple’s specific instructions. This was the day they had been anticipating for quite some time, after all.

The three of them were setting up for a welcome home party, as while they were doing so, Brooke and Vanessa were on their way home with their daughter. The papers were signed, the documents were made official, they were finally going to officially welcome Ana Sofia into their family.

Although it did feel like they already had her – the moms-to-be had talked about her at length, read them every detail of her biography until they could recite it from memory. She was three years old, half-White and half-Puerto Rican – when the two of them read that on her file, they thought it had to be fate. The story of the girl’s parents wasn’t uncommon, but it was a situation they could feel sympathy towards – a nineteen-year-old girl had been in a relationship with a man nearly twice her age, who left once he found out about her pregnancy, only for the young mother to find out the father was leaving the country. With his wife.

Brooke Lynn and Vanessa had been contacted by the woman while they were in the midst of the adoption process. She was kind and soft-spoken and it was clear she had only wanted the best for her biological child. They had agreed to visit the idea of allowing a relationship between her and Ana Sofia when she was old enough.

“God, she looked so young,” Brooke Lynn had said once they had left the meeting. “Like, shit, she was Jan’s age when she had her… that’s how old you were when we met.”

“Can you imagine if I was pregnant when we met?” Vanessa asked, shaking her head.

“With the number of men you’ve threatened to castrate? No, not really.”

But even though they had gone through all of the preparation, had meticulously completed every step, the day of their new daughter’s arrival felt unreal. After the bedroom had been painted and carpeted, after all sorts of toys and stuffed animals had been purchased, after every inch of the apartment was childproofed, wrapping their heads around finally bringing their little girl home felt hard to do.

It wasn’t the first time they had met her, of course. They’d been having supervised visits for nearly two months. They had bonded with Ana Sofia, they loved her. She’d met the people in their lives – Jan, Jackie, Katya, she even got to meet Brooke’s mother when she visited for Christmas and Vanessa’s when they went there for New Year’s Eve.

“You ready to go inside?” Brooke gently asked the little girl, though she was the most nervous out of the three of them.

Ana Sofia looked up with her big, brown eyes and nodded, one hand holding Brooke’s and the other carrying the bright pink teddy bear they had bought for her. “Yeah!”

Vanessa opened the door to a cheerful greeting of ‘welcome home!’ and looked at the way her new daughter’s eyes lit up with enthusiasm. She carried Ana Sofia’s suitcases into her bedroom, letting the young girl run around and greet everyone. “Go on and make yourself comfy, Sofie,” she encouraged.

It didn’t take long for Sofie to get acclimated to the apartment she had already started to get used to, winding up on the couch with their cat on her lap.

“How are you guys feeling?” Katya asked the new mothers. She was calm in a way that would otherwise be unnerving, but without the normal ulterior motives, it was a welcome change.

“I haven’t been this excited since our wedding day,” Brooke replied with a broad grin, her arm looping around Vanessa’s waist. “It feels like this is what everything was leading up to. Like we’re finally whole.”

Vanessa nodded in agreement. “You shoulda seen her when we picked her up and told her she was coming home for good. You’d think we live in Disneyland or something,” she chuckled.

Katya grinned. “I can’t begin to tell you two how proud I am. You’ve come such a long way from two kids struggling to confront how they felt about each other, I don’t think I’d have ever predicted this.”

“We wouldn’t have been able to without your flagrant disregard for our personal boundaries, so thank you for that,” Brooke teased. “Though I guess we did learn from the best as far as that goes,” she added, cocking her head towards Jan and Jackie.

“They were worse than us, you gotta admit,” Vanessa chimed in.

“Yes,” she conceded, “which isn’t an easy task with what a nightmare you guys were. But I think they’re in it for the long haul too.”

Jan and Jackie were sitting with Ana Sofia on the couch, talking animatedly about all of the fun things they would be able to do, how much they were looking forward to babysitting her.

“We have to take her to a show at some point,” Jan mused, “maybe f-r-o-z-e-n,” she spelled it out, knowing better than to say it in front of a child and set her off in excitement.

Jackie chuckled softly in amusement. “Yeah, maybe for her birthday,” she mused, then looked down, clearing her throat. “Baby… can I talk to you privately for a moment?”

Jan’s brows knitted in concern, but she nodded and got up, following her girlfriend into the guest room. “What’s up?”

“I was gonna wait until later, but I can’t wait any longer,” she replied, rocking back and forth on her feet. She was always so careful with her words, especially with Jan. But she’d also learned from Jan that sometimes it was best to be direct. “I want you to move in with me.”

There was a beat of silence, a surprised Jan needed a moment to process what's been said. But then a broad grin spread across her lips and she nodded brightly. “Okay,” she threw her arms around Jackie, “I’d love to.”

Jackie’s entire body relaxed as a wave of relief washed over her. “Great. Amazing. Perfect. We can go back to your parents’ place to pack up your things whenever you’re ready. I mean, I don’t wanna rush you or anything, but I think it’d make sense before the semester–”

Jan cut her off by kissing her deeply. “Baby, I love you, but you talk way too fucking much when you’re overthinking,” she chuckled. “My parents will be thrilled to not have to pay for room and board, they’ll happily cover my share of the rent. We can go tomorrow or over the weekend, whatever,” she assured and kissed her again. “Just relax, we’re doing this. Everything is fine.”

“You’re right,” she exhaled, hugging her tightly. “I love you so much.”

Their tender moment was interrupted by a loud banging on the door. “Y’all better not be behaving inappropriately during my baby’s party!” Vanessa yelled.

Jan giggled and opened the door. “We’re not,” she promised, even though Jackie was blushing. “Actually… Jackie just asked me to move in with her.”

Vanessa’s scowl was instantly replaced by a bright grin. “For real? Congrats!” She turned to yell into the main room, “Brooke Lynn! Jan and Jackie are moving in together!” She then dragged the couple back out, holding each of them by the wrist, not that either of them were putting up any resistance. They both knew better than that.

Brooke looked up, chuckling warmly at the enthusiasm her wife had for the couple. “You guys are moving in together? Congrats. We’d offer to help but, you know, very busy with the new child.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll coerce Gigi and Crystal to help us. They can be bribed with weed and snacks,” Jan replied with a shrug and a light laugh.

“Oh, are we finally getting proof that Crystal exists?” Brooke asked with a light laugh. It had become something of an ongoing joke – Gigi talked about her all the time, often relentlessly, but none of them, other than Jan, had ever met Crystal. And even though Jan had, she liked to play along for the sole purpose of annoying her friend.

Jan laughed and nodded. “I promise we’ll FaceTime you when we have her here in the flesh.”

------

Jackie caught her breath as she came back upstairs after taking a pile of boxes to load up in the back of Jan’s father’s van. “I still can’t get over how nice your parents’ house is,” she remarked as the two of them sat on the floor of Jan’s bedroom, folding her clothes to pack into boxes. “I know you said your family was well off, but damn.”

Jan shrugged and awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. “It’s not something I try to make a big deal about,” she explained, then looked up when the door opened and let out a soft laugh. “There you are. We were starting to worry you two got lost.”

“In our defense,” Gigi said as she and Crystal walked in, “we’ve never made this commute before. And we warned you neither of us have any sense of direction.”

“The Amtrak and I are enemies now. But at least we got Krispy Kreme while we waited,” Crystal added cheerily.

Jackie chuckled lightly. “And you didn’t bring any? Rude,” she clicked her tongue then looked to Jan. “Don’t forget, we promised Brooke and Vanjie we’d call to let Gigi prove Crystal isn’t a figment of her imagination.”

“Can you really prove I’m not?”

Jan and Jackie giggled while Gigi rolled her eyes and waited for Jan to get her phone out, calling up Brooke Lynn on FaceTime.

“Hey hun,” Brooke greeted. She was sitting with Vanessa and Ana Sofia, the sound of cartoons playing in the background. “How’s the big move going?”

Jan pushed herself to her feet. “Can’t complain, we’re not making ourselves crazy considering it’s not too bad of a commute. For us, anyway,” she pointedly looked at Crystal and Gigi at the last part.

“Show us the imaginary girlfriend!” Vanessa interrupted, leaning further into frame. “Katya thinks it’s gonna be Jackie with a wig on.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Gigi muttered under her breath, taking the phone from Jan and holding it up so she and Crystal were in the frame. “Vanjie, Brooke, tiny child, this is my girlfriend, Crystal. Who does exist.”

Crystal laughed softly. “Wow, this really bothered you,” she observed. “Why didn’t you just FaceTime me sooner?”

“Because we woulda called you a hologram,” Vanessa retorted before Gigi could answer, eliciting laughter from Brooke as well as Jan and Jackie.

Gigi pouted and crossed her arms. “I hate all of you,” she muttered, then added, “except for the kid, she’s cool.” And with that, she hung up and handed the phone back to Jan.

Jan chuckled and put her phone away. “You’re so cranky,” she cooed, getting up and grabbing her purse. “Here, let me smoke you out now. It’s the least I could do,” she offered, placing a joint between Gigi’s pouting lips and lighting it, watching her friend relax and smoke in spite of herself.

Jackie watched in mild amusement before glancing down as her phone went off. “Aw, Jaida just got back from Milwaukee and Nicky was waiting for her at the airport,” she read off her phone, then held it up to show the selfie Jaida had taken of the two of them.

“Wonder whatever happened to Nicky’s ‘no dating until graduation’ rule,” Jan mused with a laugh as she went back to folding shirts and packing them away. “Or are they still ‘not putting a label on it’?”

“The latter,” she confirmed. “But I know Jaida, she’s not gonna put up with that forever. She called me out on my bullshit plenty and she’s not the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ type.”

“I just love that Nicky’s role in your life is essentially the girl that fucks the women closest to you. It feels like a metaphor or something. Frankly, I think you need to have sex with her just to bring it all full circle,” Gigi mused, to which Jackie responded by throwing a pair of jeans at her.

“Fuck off,” Jackie laughed. “I’d much rather her fuck my best friend than my girlfriend any day.”

Jan offered her a reassuring smile and nod. “There’s no plans on that happening again, don’t you worry… unless you want a threesome,” she joked.

“Hey Jan,” Crystal interrupted, “when do you hear back from that thing you auditioned for? What was it again?”

The calm smile on Jan’s lips shifted into a nervous one. She stopped folding, instead fiddling with the fabric in her hands. “It’s an official shadow cast production for The Rocky Horror Picture Show, a solid five week stint. The website is posting callbacks on Thursday morning, then they post who made the final cut I think… four days after that.”

Jackie scoffed playfully. “Right, ‘if’. Baby, you know you have that on lock, just like you got Veronica without breaking a sweat.”

“I broke many sweats, but I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

------

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Jan did receive a callback and, four days later, was incessantly refreshing the company’s website waiting for the cast list to be posted. The list was set to go up at nine in the morning, but she had been checking since a quarter to, just in case. “God, what’s taking so fucking long?”

Jackie watched, trying her hardest not to laugh. “Honey, it’s five after. Take a breath before you pop a blood vess–”

“It’s up!”

She rushed to her girlfriend’s side, hand gripping onto the back of the desk chair tight enough to turn her knuckles white. “Well?”

“I got Janet!”

The two of them jumped up in tandem, hugging and squealing in pure elation. “Oh my god!” Jan beamed, “this is so exciting!”

Jackie pressed kisses over Jan’s face, culminating with a tender kiss to the lips. “I knew you would get it. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank god I’m living with you now,” she mused out loud, “juggling this with classes, as excited as I am, I just know I’d let myself get way too overwhelmed and no one keeps me grounded like you do.” They had learned about this in the last few weeks before Heathers. Jan had been on the brink of a nervous breakdown and only Jackie had been able to talk her down.

“I’m happy to be that anchor for you,” Jackie smiled. “And if this ends up being like Heathers and you need help rehearsing the ‘sexy’ song…”

Jan giggled, hiding her face against the crook of Jackie’s neck. “Yeah? You’re gonna be my Rocky while I work on ‘Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me’? It’s a very different sexual energy than ‘Dead Girl Walking’.”

She tilted her head. “I don’t think they’re that different, but the end goal of using it as foreplay remains the same.”

“I can’t argue with that,” she conceded, sitting down on the bed. “Did you ever think this would be where we would end up after that night? When we thought we’d broken down a big wall by giving in to our unavoidable lust?”

“Not for a second,” Jackie admitted with a laugh, sitting beside her. “I hoped it was the start of something, but falling in love with you was never in the cards.”

Jan smiled and rested her head on Jackie’s shoulder. “Me neither. But I wouldn’t change a thing. The rollercoaster we were on brought us right to where we needed to be.”

“It did,” Jackie took Jan’s hand in her own and squeezed it. “It really did.” She looked up and out the window. “Do you think history will repeat itself again? That a few years down the line we’ll find our own pair of useless lesbians to play dysfunctional cupid with?”

She chuckled softly and shrugged. “I dunno. I remember Vanjie told me how once you’re in love, it’s easier to see it happen to other people. I guess anything is possible.”

[blissfulalchemist]

Odds for Tia! 🤍

Yes! You got it! Let’s go! OC Fluff Questions

1. What’s their go to pick up line/flirting tactic?

She honestly just kind of goes up to a person and starts a conversation somehow or they start one with her. She doesn’t really have much of a go too until she get’s her dog Mesa then she...well you can see for yourself below the cut there. (from something that was mostly written to get a feel for her so it’ll never see the full light of day after this)

Gotcha, my eyes meet Mesa, her blue eyes expectant waiting for the command, “Get him, girl.” The dog braces herself before running up to the one his friend called ‘Bright Eyes’, jumping on him, surprising the small group around him. I shake my nerves away, as she barks up at him, trying to get the man to play with her. The worry and embarrassment settles onto my features as I jog up to them, “Mesa! No!” I hold onto her collar, feeling her pull towards him, “I’m so- Oh my god I’m so sorry. Mesa,” her head turns to me, “down girl. Bad dog.” The dog settles down quickly sitting obediently by my legs, the red creeping up my cheeks as I notice that his shirt has gotten wet. “You’re okay right? I’m so sorry,” I grab a napkin from the table nearest us, dabbing it against his shirt, “She didn’t hurt you did she?”

3. Underwear style?

She goes for cheeky bikinis or various types of thongs, it just depends on the outfit. She does on the occasion go for none but again if the outfit calls for it.

5. What was their childhood stuffed animal of choice?

Her choice was always to go for the brightest one. You know when you go to a zoo or something like that and they had like some of the animals in different colors? Yeah she’d go for the one that was the brightest in her eyes or most sparkly one and pick that one. She only had one that was of a regular color and that was a gopher that her mom and dad found for her while they took a small weekend trip to the Big Basin Redwood State Park. She loved that toy she slept with it every night.

7. Do they snore?

Unfortunately yes. The volume of it will depend on the sleeping position that she is in. She will snore very quietly when curled up, almost non existent when she’s sleeping in the passenger seat on a long trip. Her loudest is when she’s sleeping on her back, with the medium being on her stomach and side if she’s stretched out.

9. Sweet, sour, salty, or savory?

Tia is more the salty and sour person. She’s not not a fan of sweets but there’s something more satisfying about salty and sour things. It really could just be the amount of road trip snacks that she eats but that’s a forever mystery. 

11. What would their favorite book be?

Tia would like more series of books, mostly ones with adventures and exploring new places. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is one that she really enjoys quite a lot. She is also one for the occasional book on poetry, though those were ones she acquired via small book shops or straight from the authors during her travels. RIP to all the books she lost in Rocky Road. 

13. If they got a new pet, what would they name it?

Well she does acquire some new pets in her stories and gave them names. The first one was a dog that she kind of stole, in her defense the collie didn’t want to leave her side so the dog technically ran away and besides she responded more to Tia’s name for her and that was Mesa named after Mesa Verde one of Tia’s favorite places to drive near. After that she came across a lonesome little red tailed boa, no idea how he got there but he didn’t seem to belong to anyone so she kept him. She was really missing Conner and named him, sort of, after what Conner would have named his pet if had one growing up, which is Pabiyan. Or as Tia likes to call him Paps. 

15. What would their favorite board game be?

Tia is more for card games as they’re faster. However if made to pick she’d play Life or Monopoly or ideally combining the two. If she can combine them then she can change the rules as needed so it works in her favor. 

17. What’s their favorite smell?

The arid smell of the desert at the hottest time of the day or during dawn and dusk. She also loves the smell of small coffee shops that have bakeries within them, it just brings a sense of comfort.

19. Describe their laugh.

I would like to default to her faceclaim’s laugh for this as it has the cadence and tone that Tia has. It can be loud if she’s with people and having a good time but it’s not generally annoying. The best video I could find where you can hear it consistently is here!

21. Are they good with their hands? How do they deal with household-type maintenance?

Tia is fairly decent at basic fixes, but if you can’t fix it in an hour max it might be something for a professional. She also knows the absolute basics of some car repair since Rocky Road had some issues, again only enough to get to a professional though. 

23. Favorite carnival attraction?

Rollercoasters, the rides that you get wet on with the big hill, and the games so she can make others win her things or just poke fun at your skills, she’ll win the prize in the end though. 

25. What’s their ideal day off like?

She loves to wake up early enough to see the sunrise, take a small nap after that so she can then find a spot to set up her hammock and read, think, or just lay about in the sun so she can end the night just looking up at the stars. She likes to be a cat on her days off with nothing to do. To her life is full of all these big moments that you should enjoy and do but its the smaller moments that make life all the sweeter.

[chilly-me-softly]

Your very shy daughter from another relationship finally meeting Ben, as you have been dating for a while now and Ben does his ultimate best to break the ice between the two, constantly asking you if he is doing something wrong as you have to convince him it's all fine and your little girl just needs time to adjust to a new person in her life

“Sweetie” you whisper, stroking your little girl’s back, she’s lying on top of you watching cartoons. A little hum makes you realize that she’s listening to you even though she only has eyes for those weird shapes that move in your television.

Suddenly it’s as if you don’t know any English words anymore, scared of what you want to say to her. Emma is three years old and practically since she started walking it’s always been just the two of you, between you and her father there was no longer a relationship as there used to be but he still wanted to be there to raise his daughter.

And just when she was with her father, you started taking time for yourself. At first it was just catching up on sleep when Em was little, then it had become an opportunity to be alone to go for a walk or look for a place to work that wasn’t home. And on one of those occasions, you met Ben.

That diner was really intimate, you could stay there for hours doing whatever you wanted - helping the economy of the place obviously - and it wasn’t the meeting place for teenagers after school or noisy groups so it was a great place.

You’d met Ben by chance, he was sitting at a table not far away from you and for some strange reason you kept getting curious looks at each other. Until he mentioned if he could approach you and the chair in front of you was occupied for the first time in months.

Talking to him was easy, you hadn’t had contact with the male world for a long time and you had met Emma’s father at school so you thought you were a bit rusty. But to your great surprise you felt immediately at ease, something in his expression or the way he laughed struck you.

Then he asked if he could see you again, and that’s when you knew it could became a thing. The weight of your life had suddenly returned to your shoulders again. For those hours in his company you had even forgotten you had a daughter and you don’t know if it’s a good thing or not. You try to explain your situation to him without going into details - not wanting to scare him right away - and he’s so sweet and accommodating that you give him a second date.

During the week you think about it a lot, so for obvious reasons he’s the first guy you’ve felt something for since things with Em’s father ended and you didn’t want to misunderstand how you feel. Just because a guy’s taken an interest in you doesn’t mean you have to fall in love with him.

But the more you get on with Ben, the more your heart starts feeling things you thought you’d never be able to feel anymore. You decide to tell him about Emma when he offers to walk you home after a night together, making sure your feelings are real it’s time to drop the bomb.

Ben’s surprised, he can’t help but be surprised, but that’s not the end of the night. What was supposed to be just a walk to get you home, find yourself on your couch talking about the little girl. Ben seems really interested in her, in your story, but still he never pushes you to say what you don’t want.

You act like a proud mother, showing him pictures and videos and laughing all of a sudden because ‘maybe I’m talking too much’. But he shuts you up right away with a kiss, and it’s not that you haven’t already kissed on your other dates but this is the most special of all.

That night you invite him to stay over, sharing a bed with someone other than a three-year-old is comfortable in a way. Being there in Ben’s arms is familiar, his perfume cradles you until you fall asleep and for the first time in years you allow yourself to relax.

“Mommy would love to introduce you to a friend of hers, would you like that?” after almost six months of dating, combining the days when you don’t have Emma and his busy schedule, you feel quite ready to take that step. Obviously you didn’t want Ben to feel like he had to, but apparently he’s been dying to meet her since you told him she existed. He didn’t hide the fact he’s scared because it’s a big deal, but he loves you and she’s a part of your life so he wants to do it.

Emma doesn’t like to socialize much, it took you two whole weeks to get her to stop crying every time you had to drop her off at kindergarten. You can’t hide the fact the first week you spent whole minutes crying in the car after leaving her with her teacher, her sobbing red face haunting you all day.

She doesn’t like drastic changes, she needs a few days to absorb everything herself so she talks to her days in advance.

Your heart almost runs away from your chest the moment the doorbell rings, you take a quick look at the little girl who is playing in the living room with a teddy bear and you go to open it.

“Hey”

“Hey” Ben takes a quick look around before wrapping his hand around your waist.

“She’s in the living room” you giggle before grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and kissing him on the lips.

“Oh my god I’m nervous”

“Don’t be. I mean I am too, but don’t be. I’m sure it’ll be fine”

As you take his hand, you drag him into the living room and when you get to the door, you catch the little girl’s attention. Her little eyes immediately catch the newcomer’s and although Ben has had the opportunity to spend time with the children of his mates, he now feels embarrassed.

He admits it, he himself is sometimes the most embarrassed person, but with those of his age it’s easier to break the ice. Nevertheless, he lowers himself to the height of the little girl when she approaches and introduces himself, but she hides between your legs and you caress her head encouraging her to tell him her name.

The little girl shakes her head and presses her face between your legs even more, “Sorry, we girls make ourselves desirable”

“I get it” Ben reassures you giggling, wanting to make that sorry look off your face.  

You sit in the living room, Emma immediately takes the stuffed animal in her arms and holds it to herself.

“Oh how cute is this teddy bear, does it have a name?” he tries again to make a contact and the little girl looks for you, before lowering it onto the white bear. "Twinkle" her voice comes out soft and tender.

He smiles softly, repressing the urge to caress her cheek at the moment. "Twinkle? It’s a beautiful name. Did you pick it out yourself?“ she nods and you smile as you get off the couch. 

“Okay Em, it’s snack time. Be good to Ben for a second, all right?” she nods back playing with one of the puppet’s ears and the two of them are alone. Ben tries to ask more stupid questions so he can get answers but the girl answers monosyllables and after a while she finds some of the toys scattered around the living room more interesting than him.

So he finds himself joining you in the kitchen, wraps his arms around your waist and hugs you from behind. "Am I doing something wrong? Maybe I should try to-”“Ben, no hey. I told you it would be hard at first, but hey, at least she’s not crying. It’s a win” he laughs with one cheek resting on your back and holds you tighter before leaving you.

“She’ll like you, just the way I like you”

“Ew I hope not” you hit him in the chest before you get help bringing the snack into the living room.

And that day, Ben leaves your house with a smile on his face. Of course, Emma didn’t speak most of the time he was there except to say something to you and didn’t run around the room excitedly seeing him there. But that’s not like her, several times you told him she’s a quiet little girl who needs her time and today he saw just that.

Surely he wouldn’t have expected a video call from you a few days later, your figure in tears had alarmed him immediately and caught the attention of some boys in the locker room.

“What’s going on? Is Emma okay? Are you okay?”

“Yes I-” your voice comes out strangled from the phone mic while you wipe away tears that won’t stop coming down, “It’s just… it’s your fault”

“Me?” he replies confused and surprised and amused because now you’re laughing in tears.

“Emma recognized you on TV”

“You were looking at me mh?!” he interrupts you by making you roll your eyes and you’re a beautiful sight even like that, with red eyes and tear-soaked cheeks but he’d like to be close to you to hold you in his arms.

“She asked me when you were coming back to see her because, and I quote, Twinkle likes you. I had to lock myself in the bathroom so she wouldn’t see me like this, so yes, it’s your fault”

“Oh” you catch him by surprise, and he starts giggling because his eyes are watering now too. “Do you realize I’m about to cry in front of my teammates because Twinkle likes me?”

“I’ll wait for you tonight, if-if you want”

“I will definitely come around”

Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

[shipaholic]

Omens Universe, Chapter 10

Another daytime update!

Warning: there’s a lot of gun in this chapter. Following (book) canon, and then... well you’ll see.

Link to next part at the end.

(From the beginning)

(last part)

(chrono)

---

Chapter 10

Crowley’s watch hit three o'clock. Not that he would have noticed, right at that moment, if it had exploded.

Miles under the Earth, past where the dimensions divided, the screams of the damned increased in terror as a snapping, snarling, clawing beast tore its way to the surface…

Crowley floated, as if magnetised, into the tent. His drifting footsteps carried him to the edge of the knot of children.

Most of them were on their smartphones. Some of them chatted over Aziraphale, with deliberate disdain. Adam looked half-comatose. He leaned backward on his elbows and looked over at Crowley upside-down.

Crowley didn’t notice. A dimmer switch had turned down on the rest of the world, while Aziraphale glowed across from him.

Aziraphale had just dropped three linked rings. The children tittered derisively.

“Whoops! Just a tick!”

Aziraphale fumbled for the rings. As he stood back up, his eyes flicked towards Crowley. He winked.

Crowley’s heart skipped as if Aziraphale had blown him a kiss. A few consonants slipped out under his breath.

“Now then. Do any of you young masters and mistresses have on your person such a thing as a pocket handkerchief?”

It was car-crash viewing, Crowley had to admit. Aziraphale actually looked surprised that none of the kids had a hankie. A rictus grin strained his face as he beckoned the closest secret service agent. The man looked understandably reluctant to join the proceedings.

“Oh go on, my dear chap, just check.” Aziraphale winked in desperation.

The agent patted his pocket. His face turned to surprise. He produced a well-made, duck-egg blue handkerchief with lace trim. Crowley felt a glow of gratification that Aziraphale had to resort to cheating.

At that point, everything went tits up.

The edge of the lace caught on the serviceman’s gun. It yanked out of its holster and whizzed through the air like an especially lethal frisbee. It landed with a splat in a bowl of jelly. The kids whooped and applauded.

There are some actions that an eleven-year-old boy will always take, no matter the circumstances.

Adam raced across the room, seized the gun and waved it gleefully in the air.

“Stick ‘em up, dogbreaths!”

The room slid into chaos. The children screamed with delight. The adults all tried to bestow calm while breaking out in terrified sweat. It was a scene that would normally cause Crowley to wonder how he got so lucky.

And then someone threw some jelly at Adam.

The boy yelped and pulled the trigger.

Crowley’s time-slowing powers kicked in. They were useless in this situation. He couldn’t outrun a bullet. In agonised slow-motion, he watched the preliminary puff of smoke from the muzzle of the gun, heralding the noise and carnage to follow.

Aziraphale blinked.

Crowley felt the air hum with ethereal magic.

Then, like a bum note before the music was meant to start, it cut out.

The unfortunate thing about trying to turn a gun into a water pistol is that the boy holding it currently had more sway over reality than any other being in the universe. Aziraphale’s polite hint that the gun might prefer to be a water pistol bounced harmlessly off Adam’s expectation that the gun would be a gun.

Time resumed.

There was an explosion. The gun kicked. Adam’s entire body jerked. The bullet fired over the other children’s heads and struck Aziraphale in the chest.

He poofed into a cloud of silver smoke.

There was an inappropriately cheery jingle as his ring hit the floor. A rumpled dove, surprised to be no longer stuffed up a sleeve, flapped free and flew away.

Adam dropped the gun. His eyes were wide with horror.

No-one screamed. Crowley got the impression this was only because shock had punched the breath from everyone. He closed his mouth and miracled the rest of the bullets out of the gun, just in case.

A couple of people finally got around to screaming, but felt embarrassed and stopped. Confused applause broke out. It built to appreciative applause. Whatever had just happened, it was the best magic trick they’d ever seen.   

Adam and Crowley were the only ones not clapping. Adam was white and trembling.

“He just - he just -”

Crowley used the distraction to creep towards the stage, hoping to scoop up Aziraphale’s gem.

A small pigtailed girl pounced on it. “I got a prize!”

Crowley flipped her off. She scowled at him.

Adam whirled around on the rest of the room.

“Stop. Clapping.”

Every pair of hands froze. In one choreographed move, everybody lowered their hands to their sides, their faces utterly blank.

Two armed security guards burst into the tent, followed by Harriet Dowling.

“Adam? Oh, thank god. Why was there a gunshot?” She looked wildly around.

Adam turned to her. His eyes were still huge, but the rest of his face was eerily calm.

“I shot the magician, mum.”

Harriet’s hand flew to her chest. She looked to the stage, presumably for a big pool of blood and a corpse she might have missed.

“He, uh. He shot a gentleman, ma’am.” One of the secret servicewomen shuffled forward. “But it was all part of the magic act.” She sounded uncertain. Her eyes darted to the stage, too, as if there might be a body just out of sight.

Harriet sagged. She pressed a hand to her forehead.

“I’m gonna kill Tad,” she muttered. “What is with these dangerous party games? There’s some wild animal outside, I swear to god. I didn’t ask for a petting zoo. It’s not even in a pen. Who’s encouraging my son to play with guns, huh? I don’t care if it’s pretend, it’s just irresponsible.”

Adam took a breath.

“It wasn’t a trick. I shot him. Look.”

He pointed to the baffled pigtailed girl. She still had Aziraphale’s gem clutched in her hand. She was probably getting jelly on it. Aziraphale would hate that, Crowley thought, a touch hysterically.

Harriet sighed. “Honey, obviously you didn’t really shoot him.”

“He turned into smoke!” another girl piped up.

“See? It’s not real.” Harriet’s smile was tight at the edges. “Scary trick to pull at a child’s birthday party…”

Adam stamped his foot. It made no noise on the grass, but a shock wave sounded in the minds of everyone present. They clammed up, disturbed. Then they all forgot it had happened.

“Just let him have the ring, Trixie,” someone said, rolling their eyes.

“Don’t want to, it’s mine,” Trixie snapped. Crowley flipped her off again.

“I killed him,” Adam roared.

People exchanged uncomfortable looks. Harriet stamped towards her son. The kids all recognised a parent who’d reached her limit and barrelled out of her way.

“Young man, do not throw a tantrum in front of everyone or I swear to God you can spend the rest of the day in your room,” she hissed.

Adam met her eyes. His gaze turned suddenly cold.

“It doesn’t matter what you think,” he said. “You won’t be here next week.”

His voice sent ice water flooding down Crowley’s spine.

For a second, Harriet looked frightened.

She grabbed Adam by the arm. “That’s it. You’re in timeout.”

She pasted a smile on her face and perp-walked her son to the exit. On the way, she passed the stage. Trixie reluctantly held out the ring upon some pointed prompting. Harriet stared blankly and took it.

Crowley followed her out of the tent, a string of curses running through his head.

~*~

A ring of secret service, all with their guns out, had a large black dog surrounded in the garden. Calling it a large black dog was like calling the Hadron Particle Collider a bumpy cylinder. It didn’t really capture the essence of what was being described.

The dog’s blood-red eyes rolled towards the figures crossing the lawn. It only cared about one of them. His master. The one who would give it a purpose, a definition. A name.

He sounded angry. The hellhound would rip whoever had angered him to pieces. That was what it was made for. Its hackles rose. The men surrounding it tightened their grip on their guns.

The hellhound prepared to spring to its master’s side.

To its surprise, it had a sudden feeling its master wouldn’t want that.

It growled to itself. Uncertainty was not a familiar sensation.

Its master… wasn’t ready for it yet. It wasn’t the hellhound’s business to understand why. All it existed for was to serve him. It would keep its distance. For now.

The dog stalked out of the circle of scared men, ignoring the weapons trained on it, and slunk away into the shrubbery.

~*~

The noise of parent-at-the-end-of-her-rope, combined with tantruming-child, were easy enough to follow through the house. Crowley didn’t even need to bother with stealth. He hung back behind a corner as Harriet frog-marched Adam to his bedroom and pushed him inside.

“You can stay in there until you’re ready to behave!”

“I don’t want to come out. This birthday was rubbish. I hated everything.”

Harriet gave a stifled scream. Crowley had heard line managers make noises like that. He flinched and ducked out of sight.

“If you hate everything, you can stay in there with all the toys we bought you, just like we bought you your cake and your presents. Here, you can have this too.” Harriet thrust Aziraphale’s gem towards Adam. He grabbed it and threw it on the floor behind him.

The door slammed. Harriet’s footsteps stomped up the corridor, away from Crowley.

Crowley slid down the wall. He might as well settle in until he could see a good way to get the ring back.

~*~

The kids on the lawn were being herded out, which meant someone might come to check on Adam after the last goodbyes had been said.

Crowley paced tight circles in the corridor. Adam had been quiet for a couple of hours now. It was early for him to go to sleep, but Crowley knew the appeal of a rage-nap. He pressed his ear to the door. Nothing.

He couldn’t leave it any longer. He quietly opened the door.

Adam was passed out fully clothed on top of the sheets. His face showed no anger in sleep. Occasionally, his cheek twitched. It was hard to imagine him ending the world, right now. Crowley’s imagination was more than up to the task, however.

Crowley looked around for Aziraphale. He was probably on the floor, unless Adam had picked him up. Which seemed unlikely, given the state of the rest of his room.

Finding him in here would be like locating shiny junk in a shiny junk pile. Crowley scanned the visible areas of carpet, which took about half a second, and then turned, heart sinking, to the rest of it.

Ten minutes later, he was on his knees silently swearing and trying to peer around stacks of precarious interlocking piles of toys and games, each of which would clearly come crashing down if he tried to move even one component. Crowley hated Jenga.

He happened to glance to his left. A glint of gold caught the corner of his eye under the bed. He crawled over, careful not to dislodge anything.

As he rooted around in the unbelievable mess, the Antichrist slumbering above him, it occurred to him that if he were profoundly unlucky - which most of the evidence of his life so far would seem to show - he would get up to find Adam awake and staring at him.

How long would it take for the secret service to crash in here? Or one of the Dowlings? They probably carried. Maybe he and Aziraphale could both get shot by an American on the same day.

His ungloved hand bumped against something ring-sized. He grabbed it and cupped it in his palms. It was Aziraphale.

Crowley crawled back out from under the bed, crossed his fingers, and raised his head.

Adam was still asleep. Crowley exhaled.

The ring glowed.

Crowley scrambled to his feet and bolted from the room. The feats of parkour he did to avoid kicking anything over were ones for the ages.

Aziraphale’s gem was singing. It glowed white hot and threw Heavenly light in Crowley’s face. Crowley booked it down the corridor, searching for an empty room half-blinded. The gem was becoming hard to hold. It tried to float into the air, warbling out a rising major chord.[1] Crowley kept his hands clamped firmly on it.

He threw open a door to an unused spare bedroom, barrelled in and released the gem, hissing as it burned his ungloved hand. He backed into a wardrobe and watched Aziraphale reform.

At first, he was only a voluminous ball of light. He shrunk inward, compressed and developed mass. His gem was at chest-height. The blobby shapes surrounding it turned into two plump hands, entwined over his heart, arms folded against his torso. His feet were pressed neatly together. A mop of curly hair appeared, and then a calm face, the familiar upturned nose and prim mouth, all those comfortable lines, the softness of the cheeks. He was still choosing to wear mostly beige, for whatever reason. No updates to the worn waistcoat or brown Oxford shoes. He was as Crowley remembered him.

The light flicked out. Aziraphale dropped to the ground with a small gasp. He opened his eyes.

“Crowley,” he breathed.

Crowley pressed his back against the wardrobe in a manly attempt not to slide to the floor.

They stared at each other, reunited for the first time in seventy-eight years.

---

[1] The closest approximation is the singing lift in London’s Royal Festival Hall.

(Link to next part)

[totally-incorrect-theatre-quotes]

Little Talks (fanfic)

While the intention tonight was to (as usual) write a very Lydia centric fanfic I found myself writing more about Charles. 

No trigger warnings for this fic, while it is a little sad it is really fluffy. 

___________________________________________________________

The weekend’s in the Deetz-Maitland household had become quite chaotic since Lydia started back at school. All the shenanigans that she and Beetlejuice usually got into during the week were now being concentrated into only two days, which equaled a lot of headaches for the more quiet residents in the house. They all secretly loved it though, just seeing Lydia and BJ getting along and being happy. Most of their pranks were harmless as well, though every now and again something in the house would be mysteriously broken with both the culprits having a guilty look on their faces. 

Charles was in the midst of fixing up their last disaster which resulted in the side room having a suspiciously Lydia-shaped hole in the thin walls along with her having some incriminating scrapes and bruises that she denies is from breaking the wall when BJ dared her to try and walk through the walls while he was using possessing her. Needless to say, the idea only partially worked but the issue was that Lydia was still solid and simply broke the wall when she ran into it with full force. While he was finishing up the last of sealing the plaster Charles looked around at his handiwork, remembering the old days back in New York when he and Emily were fixing up their old townhouse when Lydia was still small. They didn’t have much back then, he hadn’t gotten the position he had now until Lydia was a little bit older, but they were happy back then, making do with what they had. Emily always reminding Charles that it wasn’t about the things they owned, but the memories Lydia was going to make. 

He went back up into his office after he finished, flipping through old family photo albums while before Lydia got back from school. His fingers lingering on the pages, not wanting to turn them and have to snap out of the memories he was reliving. Sometimes he liked to go through the books chronologically and watch Lydia grow up, other times he would pick one at random and just flip through the pages never quite knowing what he was going to get. Emily was the one who always wanted the pictures, he had never been a big fan of them or gotten into making the albums but he was grateful that they existed. The book he was looking through at the time was one that he hadn’t seen for a while, one of the really early ones that Emily went into so much effort to make when Lydia was just a baby, her blonde curls lighting up every single page. An off-colored copy of her birth certificate taped to the inside cover listing her full name, he made a mental note to keep that book out of BJ’s reach, knowing that he would tease Lydia mercilessly if he knew what her middle names were. 

He was about halfway through the second book, where Lydia was about three years old when he found a photo he couldn’t stop staring at. There was something about it that made him pause. It was nothing out of the ordinary, from what he remembered that day all those years ago Lydia was playing in the living room with Emily, her stuffed animals all lined up for some reason on the pale blue carpet. Emily laughing and begging Charles to get the camera and take a picture. Most of the stuffed animals in the photo were probably long gone, a phase of her life that she had grown out of, some were maybe still packed away in a box somewhere or donated to a toy drive because she didn’t need them anymore. His eye caught the one she was holding in her hands, a white and grey stuffed owl that even at the time had obvious wear and tear from being played and cuddle with so much. Artie, he thought the name was. He sat the book down on his desk and walked down to the basement where some of the less important boxes from moving in where still stashed.

It was a long shot, he didn’t remember packing it but then again it was probably packed away years ago and he brought every box over from New York to Connecticut. After about twenty minutes of sifting through cardboard boxes with faded labels, he found marked “Lydia’s Toys.” Most of the contents were strange toys that had accumulated over the years including some that he was surprised still made the same annoying noises even after years of being packed away in a box and gathering dust. Others were stuffed animals with matted down fur, dolls with marker scribbles on them or bandaids from her playing doctor. Finally tucked near the bottom of the box he pulled out the dingy owl. He held it in his hands for a while, looking over all the features remembering a young Lydia carrying it around with her everywhere even on the Subway where Charles was paranoid she would lose it and have a WWIII level meltdown until it was located, but here it was twelve years later, looking as though it was frozen in time. He didn’t know why he wanted to find it so badly, something about that photo made him feel something. He debated just setting it back down in the box, sealing it up for another twelve years, maybe giving the whole thing to her if she had a wife and kids of her own. 

He took the stuffed bird upstairs with him, ran it through the washing machine and even asked Barbara to help him sew and restuff the old toy. She didn’t question it, but she happily obliged, asking him if this was a gift for someone. He shrugged, still unsure if he would simply keep it in his office for some kind of posterity or give it to Lydia. The question was answered when he lost track of time and Lydia came running up in the attic, throwing her backpack by the door and kicking off her shoes before hopping on the couch next to Barbara and her father. It to her a second to realize who all was upstairs, and even longer to notice what was in Barbara’s hands. 

“God, I haven’t seen that thing in forever,” she remarked, a hint of hesitation in her voice that went undetected by the others, “Where’d you even find him?”

“I was looking at some old pictures, and I don’t know I just had a feeling that it needed to be found? I think his name was Artie or something like that-”

“Artemis.” She corrected, reaching out for the stuffed owl. She held it in her hands for a second, brushing the now white fur with her thumb before shaking her head and handing it back to her father, “Maybe, I don’t remember. It was a long time ago.” Lydia suddenly stood up from the couch and started to walk towards the door.

“Do you want to hold onto it? For posterity sake?”

“I’m not a little kid anymore dad. I’m fifteen, I don’t need a stuffed owl.”

With that statement she grabbed her backpack and left, her footsteps could be heard going down the stairs, and her bedroom door slammed shut beneath them. Charles sat there bewildered, Lydia always loved that toy, he understood that she was older now but for her to hate it so much, he was confused.

“I’m sorry Charles,” Barbara empathized, “It was a sweet gesture, but at least you can have a nice memory of her childhood for your office.”

He looked back down at the owl, before nodding and wishing the Maitland’s a good night. He went back into his office and placed the bird on one of his bookshelves next to a framed photo of an elementary aged-Lydia beaming at the camera, two gaps where her front teeth should have been that had just become the property of the tooth fairy. He tried to push all the thoughts of what happened away, opening his laptop and diving into work. He wasn’t sure what time it was that he fell asleep but he was woken up by the creaking of his office door. Always on guard that it could be BJ trying to play a prank on him, he instantly snapped awake and shouting, “What are you doing in here?”

But it wasn’t BJ. Flipping on the light switch he saw a startled Lydia clutching at her chest as she tried to catch her breath. She was standing illuminated by the light in the hallway, her baggy t-shirt down to her knees, her eyes were puffy and red and her hands were held behind her back. Charles softened immediately and went over to hug Lydia, she was tense in his arms though not wrapping hers around him. He smiled at her, trying to calm the situation down but she still seemed extremely worked up over something. He glanced around the room, unsure of what to say when he noticed that the owl was now missing off the bookshelf. Charles nodded his head,  opened the photo book off his desk, pulled over a chair and gestured for Lydia to sit next to him. Still staying silent she slowly walked over, the owl appearing from behind her back as she sat down and placed it softly on her lap. 

He flipped the book to the page he was on earlier and pointed at the picture. Lydia’s eyes softened as she was mesmerized by the photo, her mother frozen in a laugh, the owl clutched in her own tiny hands. She took the book in her hands and stared for a while, “You probably won’t believe this because I was so young but I remember this day.”

“You do?”

She nodded, “Me and mom were playing in the living room and for some reason, I wanted to line them all up in a row and dramatically recite stories that she would tell me to them. I used to reenact them sometimes too and I just remember mom laughing the whole time, not because I was being a dumb little kid but, I don’t know, she seemed to be having just as much fun as I was. She never told me my ideas were stupid no matter how out there they were, like remember the time that me and her pretended we were birds for a whole afternoon.”

Charles laughed, “You guys were VERY dedicated to the game. I’m pretty sure she even chewed up food and spit it in your mouth.”

“I know! It was so gross I can’t believe she actually did it.”

“Your mother was up for anything, we would be laying in bed at night and we would just talk for hours about all the things we wanted to do with you. Some plans sooner than others, most of them were her idea. I was never all that good at coming up with them. Like for your fifth birthday we planned out this whole party for you at this outdoor park but then it poured and she didn’t even miss a beat, she had something just as fun planned so that you didn’t have to feel left out on your special day.”

“I didn’t even know that there was ever an original plan.” Lydia giggled, leaning her head on her father’s shoulder as they flipped through more of the photo album. She scrunched up her nose at her old blonde hair and he couldn’t help but laugh, he couldn’t really imagine her as a blonde anymore either. She looked very, Lydia now, but he loved her either way. 

The two of them looked at photo albums for a long time, losing track of time, but every now and again a photo would spark a conversation or earn a laugh or an embarrassed look off of her. The owl still sat propped up in her lap, even as she started to doze off on her father’s shoulder. They got to the end of the book and she sleepily muttered, “I still miss her.”

“I miss her too.” 

She gathered Artemis up in her arms and clutched it close to her chest, “I think I’m getting better, I have days where I think I’m doing so much better and I don’t know why but seeing Artemis again… I didn’t think it would affect me this much, it just brought back a lot of memories.”

“It’s okay to remember, I still can’t be sorry enough that I didn’t let you talk about her before we moved in. I never should have made you feel guilty for wanting to think about the old times, I just didn’t want them to make you sad, you were so sad back then but the thing is there are so many good memories. Like Artemis and birthday parties and lazy days in pajamas just watching movies because it snowed outside.”

She smiled, her eyes drooping shut as she tried to fight away sleep threatening to take over, “Or when she used to speed the car down the hill we were would drive home from school, or she’d pretend she couldn’t find her house keys and pretend some monster or serial killer was chasing us. It’s the little things like that, it makes it so hard to be okay all the time because even looking at a stuffed owl that I was crazy about when I was a baby was enough to wreck me for a whole night.”

“I should have been more careful about giving it to you, it was an emotional object I shouldn’t have tried to pull it off as a casual gift.”

She yawned and burrowed further into his shoulder, closing her eyes gently, “S’okay. Can you talk to me more about her?”

He knew she needed to go to bed, she still had school in the morning but he obliged flipping through another photo album and telling stories from memories that the photos unlocked. The clock on his desk read 2 am when she finally fell asleep, he shifted awkwardly and gathered her up in his arms just as he did when she was so much smaller. He carried her to her bedroom and laid her down in her bed, pulling the covers up and placing Artemis the dingy old owl next to her pillow. 

[s-aned]

Dark Paradise - Chapter 2 - Escape or die

Warning: some rude language here, can be uncomfortable to read.

Chapter 1

The man stops to wipe his sweaty forehead. The air runs out on this hot summer day. Not the slightest breeze blows in this undergrowth they have been roaming for hours. His brother catches up with him, patting him patronizingly on the shoulder.

“Slowing down old man?

-I’m not old, I’m just hot. Hey, stop laughing little brother, you’ll soon understand my pain.

-By then you will be getting older again, so I will always be more dashing than you.

-Ssh

-What, it’s the truth!

-No, look up there.”

The elder cocks his rifle, ready to fire. To his right, a man is slumped against a tree, his throat pierced by a knife. They continue to advance, discovering a car and four more bodies spread out over a few dozen meters. All shot down. All armed.

“Jesus, what happened there.

- I don’t care. Fucking hunters.”

The younger doesn’t have the time to make an ironic comment on his brother's words, as screams are heard. He nods to his elder. They have to take a look. Joel sighs. Why Tommy always wants to help those who pass by? Yet he follows him. His place, his rules.

The screams have stopped, but they know they’re getting closer. As they approach a clearing, they take cover to assess the unexpected situation that unfolds there. In front of them, a woman is lying, a man trapping her between his legs, his hand keeping a knife stuck in her lower abdomen. All they can hear is her moans of pain and the man's deep, threatening voice.

She clenches her teeth. The knife tears her flesh, and she tries to move as little as possible. She knows that the moment this dog takes it away, she’ll be bleeding dangerously. He might kill her. But not without using her first. He makes it clear with his flood of obscene words. Nothing she hasn’t heard a hundred, maybe a thousand, times before. Men are incredibly commonplace when it comes to talking to women like her. She holds his gaze. She must show him that she’s not afraid. What he wants to do to her is nothing she hasn't known before.

Suddenly a thud, creaking bones and the man collapsing with all his weight on top of her, driving the blade deeper into her. She ignores the hot liquid now flowing over her and turns her head. A few meters away are two men.

The older one approaches, pushing her assailant out of her body with his foot, but keeping his aim on her. She puts her hands up and a laugh escapes her throat. How lucky. She barely got rid of these men that she’s already at the mercy of others.

“Who the fuck are you?”

His deep voice makes her tremble. She quickly regains her composure, ignoring the throbbing pain that twists her stomach. She sighs before speaking in a detached voice.

“Does it matter for what you have to do?”

The two men exchange a look of incomprehension. They were used to infected, to hunters who looked a little too closely at Jackson. They would occasionally help lost travelers. But this situation was unprecedented to them.

“Did you shoot all these men back there?”

This time it was the younger one who had spoken, his gun already slightly lowered. She doesn't answer, too absorbed by the other's gaze on her body. He frowns. He has just realized that the young woman at the end of his gun wears no shoes or pants. Her legs show signs of recent and older scars. He tries to understand.

“Where were you going like that?

-No idea. I clearly wasn’t there for strategic guidance.”

They keep asking her questions, but all she can think of is the number of men waiting for these two, and the thrill of joy that would run through them all when they’ll see them bring her back. God knows since when they haven't seen a woman.

Shit, this will never stop. Just open your pants already, so we get rid of it.

The blonde man walks over to her.

“You’re not armed, I guess?

-Except for the knife in my stomach you mean?

-I’m going to take it off. My brother is kinda quick with the trigger, so don’t try anything stupid ok?”

She bits her lower lips and turns her head away. She moans as the blade slowly comes out. Tears begin to bead down her cheeks as she feels herself leaving, the man's hands resting firmly on her wound to stop the blood flowing. She’s about to pass out, maybe about to lose her life. At the thought, a slight smile appears on her lips. Thank you.

--------------------

Her eyelids open slowly, trying to get used to the light bathing the room. She sits up suddenly, realizing she doesn't know the place. But the gesture makes her cry out in pain and she falls back with all her weight on the cold examination table. Shit, I’m not dead.

“Hey slow down.” A blonde woman walks up to her, resting her hand on her shoulder. She looks reassuring, but it has been a long time since the young woman learned not to trust appearances.

“I’m Maria, I’m in charge here. You lost quite a lot of blood, but you’re safe now. Just lay back and rest. We’ll talk when you wake up.”

She would like to protest, to say something, but her body is exhausted. She falls into darkness.

--------

When she wakes up, the blonde is still there. She looked after me all this time?

Maria approaches and gives her a glass of water, before asking some questions about her condition. Someone knocks on the door before entering. It’s the two men who found her.  

“You’ve met Tommy and Joel.”

The injured woman gives them a slight nod. Her body tensed when they arrived. Is now the time? They fixed her up and now they come to get their due? Ignoring the young woman's discomfort, Maria continues.

“So, can you tell us more about you? They told me you killed some men out there. Who were they?”

The young woman doesn’t respond immediately, her gaze still blocked in the direction of the two men.

“They can get out if you want.

-No, they’ve seen most of it anyway.”

She takes a deep breath and starts.

“I don’t know who they are, or where they came from. They came to my QZ to make some trade and they bought me.

-Why would they buy you?

-Don’t play the innocent. To be a cum dump. My old owners probably thought I wasn’t fresh enough anymore for their customers and found some suckers to buy me.”

They stay looking at her, dumbfounded. Maybe they’re different after all. Maybe they didn't bring her back to treat her the same as everyone else did. She looks away. She must not delude herself, she must not hope for a different future. The older man is the first to speak.

“How did you manage to get rid of all these men?

-The leader of the troop. He didn't want to wait any longer, he wanted to test the new toy. So he took me aside to do his little business. But the idiot had left his knife within reach. So I tried my luck and I won. I stole his gun and walked away. I was hoping I could get away before the others noticed, but they were too quick. So I fired. I had almost all of them. I was almost out of there when this pig managed to grab me and stabbed me with his knife. And then you arrived”

She falls silent and lies down completely, fixing her gaze on the ceiling. She doesn't want to talk anymore. For what it will change. She knows very well what's going to happen, it's always the same story. They will throw her away or use her. Probably even both. So what’s the point of pouring out. She feels tired, but she can't give up now. Her body must resist. Maria ends up breaking the silence.

“Well, you’re welcome to stay here. We’ll find you a place to stay and some occupation. But we’ll never treat you like those men. You’re safe here. So now you need to rest and regain strength.”

With a nod, she invites the two men to leave the room. She really seems to be in charge. You’re safe here. She heard that before. In his mouth. His stupid and beautiful mouth. And time proved him wrong. It wasn’t his fault, she guesses. No one is really safe in this world.

----

Sitting on the bed, she observes the surroundings. Her own room, what a weird feeling. She never had one, other than the one when she was a baby, of course, before the pandemic. In the QZ, she shared the night alcove with her mother. Sometimes she would sleep on the sofa. But it was not the same.

She closes her eyes for a moment, trying to store all the information. Maria had returned to pick her up, providing her with a new outfit. She assured her that as soon as she’s better, they would go and find her more clothes to her liking. The two women had walked to Maria and Tommy’s house, not far from the infirmary. It had given her a glimpse of the city from afar. It seemed animated. But in a different way than the QZ. No soldiers, no cold concrete walls. Only wood, people chatting and children playing innocently. Is it possible that such a place still exists?

The older woman promises to pay her a full visit in the days to come. She enumerates the different occupations of the city. The farm, the shops, the patrols. The newcomer tries to remember everything, but her brain is too exhausted for that. It’s been too long since anyone made her the conversation.

The fatigue must have been visible on her face, for she had no trouble convincing her hosts to let her up to bed, just minutes after arriving home. From the entrance she could smell the food being prepared, and it already made her heart beat. She knew she couldn't avoid this sensitive subject for long. But at least for tonight she was out of trouble.

Without making a sound, she gets up and opens the cupboards. In the first is a large safe. To store weapons, probably. In the next one, she spots a box. After a brief hesitation, she lifts the lid. She finds some stuffed animals and baby bodysuits. Yet she did not see any trace of children. Maybe they are already old? But why keep this then? Maria doesn't seem the kind of woman to keep what she doesn't need. She closes the box before lying down. It is none of her business after all.

Her body is exhausted, but her brain refuses to give her that peace. She knows that as soon as she closed her eyes, her sleep would be filled with nightmares.

[soundofseventeen]

13 Days of Christmas (Kim Mingyu)

Happy Saturday! The most exciting part of my day has been knowing I’m cleaning my bathroom. I’ll see y’all tomorrow! gif credits to owners! (Unedited!)

Word count: 1846

You had known that you hadn’t been in a relationship in sometime. You couldn’t remember when someone had asked you out to grab a coffee or go to the movies or anything. You missed someone holding your hand and holding you close, but you had a good reason. After two years, your ex-boyfriend had just dropped you like you didn’t exist. He kept everything you bought him of course,and he refused to take everything back you bought him, so it stayed in the corner of your room, haunting you for months on end.

And then one day, Mingyu offered to help you burn it all: the clothes, the pictures, the stuffed animals, everything that came from him went to the fire and the smoke polluted the sky. Everything that survived the first round, went to a secondhand store where you traded that junk for money and you treated Mingyu to smoothies to repay him for freeing you. Mingyu helped mend your broken heart; you weren’t oblivious to how he cared for you during that time. It didn’t matter if it was two am or two pm, if you had a breakdown, he was a phone call away. You would’ve texted him but the sound of his voice calmed you and over time, it gave you the strength to help you heal. 

Mingyu had helped you in more ways than one, and you didn’t know how to repay him. 

It had been a tough year but you persevered and you planned on ending it as strongly as possible. And you wanted to thank him for everything, so you decided to invite him to a holiday party a town over. It wasn’t a luxurious thing but people would be exchanging gifts throughout the night and the present wrapped up nicely on your bed seemed like it would make up for it. 

You planned to meet up with him there due to a difference in your schedules so you weren’t in a rush to shower to get ready, but when you had nothing else to do, you still managed to arrive 45 earlier than expected. You mingled with some acquaintances from a few classes and some of your coworkers while you waited on Mingyu.

And then there were people rushing past you, making you spill your drink everywhere and sent your present flying out of your hands. You didn’t know how they could be so careless around others. (You already knew the poor host was gonna be in for a long clean up session...and if they had money, then their poor cleaning people for having such entitled bosses.) You could already see the red drink seeping into the white, white carpet and had you not heard Mingyu’s name, you would’ve stayed behind to clean it. 

It didn’t take long to spot Mingyu; he was always the easiest to find in a crowded room. However, he didn’t look happy; he looked like he was out for blood and upon closer inspection, you found him holding your ex-boyfriend by the collar of his Christmas sweater. And if there was anything you knew about Kim Mingyu, it was the fact he wouldn’t strike unless provoked. So, he must’ve heard something, and while he glared daggers into your ex’s eyes, you weren’t afraid for Mingyu’s safety. (Mingyu’s height and frequent visits to the local gym made him scary to the wrong people.)

“Say it again,” Mingyu threatened him, not knowing that you could see him.

“Hey man, look I didn’t mean it like that. I just-”

“Y/N is not a toy or an object for you to be talking shit. You wanna talk shit, I’m right here.”

“You got the wrong idea; you guys just seemed really cozy lately-”

“How the fuck is any of that your business?”

You wondered why no one tried to diffuse the situation. Sure they had their phones out and everything, but no one was stepping in to try to convince Mingyu to let go.You had to admit how amused you were. You could feel the tension yes, but it didn’t stop you from enjoying the scene. You had suffered for so long, shed too many tears, and stopped taking care of yourself all for no good reason. You weren’t the type to tell anyone who hurt you that you still wished them the best. No, you wished all kinds of pain on them, for them to feel what you did. (It wasn’t your healthiest trait if you were honest, but you weren’t perfect and you were only human.)

Seeing him the way you felt for so long gave you a sense of power. They couldn’t see you and you knew that if you came into view Mingyu would immediately let go and your ex would scurry to the opposite side of the house...if he didn’t leave right away, that is. And that made you smile...a lot. Hell, if Mingyu wanted to deck him in the face once, that be the best Christmas present ever.

“Y/N, control your boyfriend,” you heard a friend whisper to you. “It’s Christmas and this is a time for all of us to be together, happily.”

“Ahh, you’re the one. I get it. Are you afraid that Mingyu’s gonna hurt your boyfriend?” You didn’t say that Mingyu wasn’t your boyfriend...or that he wouldn’t actually hurt him. You’ve seen how soft-hearted this boy really was. He sang Christmas carols at a hospital not too long ago. Part of you wanted to see how much longer this would play out, but you actually saw people getting too scared now to actually intervene. So, you broke it up yourself. “Mingyu?” you managed to say as quietly as possible. How pulled off a scared look, you didn’t know but hey it worked.

As predicted, Mngyu’s hand gripping at the collar went slack and he pulled back. The anger you saw on his face, however, surprised you. “Hey,” he said, keeping his voice low.

Your ex finally had some color on his face and somehow managed to spit out, “You two deserve each other anyway.” and ran to go hide. No doubt come Monday, the shit-talking would start and he’d try to make himself look good. Not that you cared or that Mingyu cared.

“Sorry I kept you waiting,” he apologized. “Traffic. But this party already sucks. So I’m just gonna head out. Do you wanna come with me?”

You didn’t give it a second thought as you nodded your head, and you walked out the door with him without saying goodbye to anyone. “Where are we going?” 

“Well, unless you have a different idea, I’m thinking we could just drive around.” He opened the passenger side for you and once you were in, he walked around and started his car. “By the way, I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. Your ex really likes to talk, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about him...what did he tell you anyway?”

“Well, he’s convinced I’m dating you due to all the times he’s seen me come out of your apartment...so early in the morning. But he also wanted to know some information that really wasn’t his to know.”

“What -”

“You’re a person, not a toy that can be played with and then be put to the side. God, I wish I could’ve hit him. Are you cold? Let me turn on the heater for you.” He fumbled around with knobs nad buttons until a burst of warm air hit the car and then you were on your way. He turned on the radio and quickly changed stations as soon as he heard the Christmas songs. It’s not that he hated them, he just hated how overplayed they were. “So, what’d you get me?”

“What makes you think this is for you?”

“The Mingyu in bold letters does the trick. And if it was yours, you would’ve unwrapped it by now and showed it off.”

“I really hate that you’re a good guesser.” You turned the present around in your hands so the friction could keep them warm. “It’s just a cologne. I smelled it when I was on my break once, and I thought it’d be a good scent for you.”

“You have amazing taste.” His eyes widened at the sight in front of him as the roads soon became covered in snow. He drove a little further along until he could stop at the side of the road. He pulled out some gloves in the backseat and then got off. He waited for you to get off on your own because he knew you didn’t care much for snow or the cold weather in general and he felt like he could wait. He liked snow; it was temporary and it brought people close together, be it making forts, building snowmen, or trying to catch the flakes on their tongues. 

“Why’d you stop here?” you managed to chatter out. You blew on your hands to keep them warm and then stuffed them into your jacket.

“It’s quiet and calm. I don’t think it feels like Christmas until it’s cold and dark. And even with all the lights decorating the houses, it’s still too dark to see unless you're in the neighborhood.” He leaned back, watching the cars speed by, most of them carrying trees to decorate once they got home and he smiled, thinking of all the kids who’d put the ornaments and fighting over who got to the star on top. Mingyu watched you struggle to keep warming your hands to he reached over took them into his. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah.” He rubbed one a little and then put it in his pocket. 

He took the other one and blew on it, not giving up until it was a lot warmer than when he started. Although, his gloves helped in the process. “Better?”

“A little.” You liked how close he was to you,and you could smell the peppermint creamer from his coffee. You liked his company...and him in general. He was warm. You let go of him then, only to wrap your arms around him. And you liked the pressure he put on his arms as he hugged you back. No one did it quite like Mingyu.

“Hey Y/N…”

“Yes Mingyu?”

“You’re really cold.”

“So are you.”

You were grateful to him, especially in moments like these. 

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yes Mingyu?”

“You smell really good.”

“So do you.”

You felt so content, something you had been lacking for sometime.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yes Mingyu?”

“I think I wanna kiss you.”

“Me too.”

Gently, so gently as to not disturb the moment, he angled your face perfectly so that he could give you the softest of kisses and one for every time he wanted to tell you how much you meant to him. The snow brought you comfort for once in your life, and you finally found that missing piece.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yes Mingyu?”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Maybe that missing piece was Mingyu.