#if anybody needs anything tagged please lmk!!

[roboraindrop]

Hey plus size or underweight self shippers? Your f/os don't see your weight as a flaw. They love you for all that you are, and that includes everything. Yes, human beings are very flawed. Yes, your f/os do love your flaws as well! But, your weight is not a flaw. Just wanted to make sure you knew that. 💕

[braxlrose]

PLEASE MAKE 2005 BILL HCS 🙏🏻🙇🏻‍♀️

I based this on the song Ich Bin Nich' Ich from their Schrei album so I hope you enjoy!

content warnings: bill being sad? 😭 lots of angst yk (which if you've been here for a while you'd know I actually LOVE writing angst) idk if this is considered toxic bc the way I've written it, it's very much filled with codependency to like a point where without a person youre suffering so 😬.

summary: bill misses you more than anything right now.

word count: 1.4k

a/n: for this fanfic, you're dating Bill at the time and have been for a little while, and it's set in like 2004/2005. I decided to do this bc Ich Bin Nich' Ich is literally my favorite song from Schrei sooo I can't wait to write this. I'm not sure if anybody else has done this so if they have please tell me! also, lmk if you want to be added to the tag list 💖💖

+ this is from bills perspective

Ich Bin Nich' Ich

meine augen schaun mich müde an und finden keinen trost

I laid down in my bed, my head pounding achingly from tonight's show. Sweat dripped down my forehead and rolled onto my pillow as I turned over. My shallow breathing was catching up to me and my eyes closed ever-so lightly. The cold pillow was a perfect embrace after the show tonight. Well—almost perfect.

My heart twinged with sadness as you came into my head. You always sat in the back of my head like a lingering melody, haunting and sweet. My mind never was able to get fully rid of you, especially now since we're on tour. Your soft and supple hands always seemed to fit perfectly in mine. You're glistening eyes, staring back at me and that enchanting smile that sat flawlessly upon your face. Nothing could ever pull me away from staring at you when we were together. Everything about you always made me feel like we were destined to be brought together, we fit so well with each other and our bodies seemed to always be pulling towards each other like magnets.

My fingernails dug into the bed sheets as I closed my eyes to "watch" you. Who cares if I couldn't see you right now, right? I could always close my eyes and watch the way your perfect body; your perfect everything, moved like the water as you glided through the air, running towards me whenever we would see each other again.

That wouldn't be for months, though..

The coldness of my pillow was fading as my body denied itself rest. I couldn't fall asleep with the sound of your angelic voice, whispering in my head. Which was ironic, because that voice was the same one that always helped me fall asleep on my hardest nights. Nothing right now could ever comfort me.. not unless you showed up.

I groaned in annoyance as a soft knock cracked against my door. Who needs to talk to me right now, it's 11 o' clock at night.

I pulled myself up off of my bed; the bedsheets lightly sticking to my skin from the sweat that once dripped from my body. Walking felt like trying to pull myself through quicksand, all I wanted to do was to see you. You see you—no, feel you jump into my arms and press your beautiful lips up against mine.

God, how amazing that would feel right now.

My body finally brought itself to the door and my hand slowly pulled it open to see a face I had known for quite some time.

"Tom?" I mumbled out, pressed my face into the tinted wall, "What are you doing up here?" I asked, my breath feeling heavy again.

"We're going to a party, are you coming or are you going to coop yourself up in your room again, for the nth time in a row." He spouted at me.

I rolled my eyes before telling him I'd be staying in my room again. He may have seemed a little agitated about that, but from the way he was looking at me, I think he could tell what was wrong. He always knew what was wrong.

"It's always obvious, your eyes tell us everything, Bill.." He would say to me every once in a while when I felt down. I guess I was never the one who was good at hiding my feelings, especially from my brother.

ich kann mich nich' mehr mit ansehen—bin ich los

alles was hier mal war—kann ich nich' mehr in mir finden

I forced myself into the bathroom, my hands gripping onto the sink in front of me as my eyes hesitated to look myself in the face. I'm sure I looked awful. Ever since I met you, I never felt like myself without you. You brought the me out of me. That's what I loved about you so much.

My eye makeup was smeared a bit and some of my mascara had run down my cheeks. I honestly looked like a mess. I blinked in the mirror, watching myself crumble. I needed you so badly. This was one of the hard nights, the hard nights when I really needed you.

The water i splashed upon my face dripped down my neck as my eyes slowly came upwards to look myself in the face.

I could never seem to see myself when you weren't with me, you always made me feel so much better. About everything and anything. I'm still not sure how you did it..

alles weg—wie im wahn, seh ich mich immer mehr verschwinden

My freshly dried face from a cotton towel felt stiff as tears rolled down my cheeks. My eyes stung with a fiery intensity that only someone as gracious and wonderful as you.

My body didn't seem like my own anymore as I crashed down against the soft, recently sweaty bed. Makeup smeared on the pillow as my cheek rested against it, staring over at the dimly lit; slightly sparky (?) lamp next to me. The curtains surrounding my room seemed to understand my awful being right now as I could feel more tears threatening to spill over my waterline, down my face.

I could almost swear this was an out of body experience, maybe I was just tired. Everything around me felt like a dream and I could feel myself slipping away. My body, my dreams, my everything. Nothing felt real anymore. Not when I'm away from you.

ich bin nich' ich wenn du nich' bei mir bist—bin ich allein

und das was jetzt noch von mir übrig ist...

My breath was caught in my throat as more memories of you poured into my head.

××× I remember the first time I saw you—

Walking outside the studio while everybody else finished up inside, the cold wind blowing in my face, brushing my hardened bangs to the side. My teeth lightly chattered as you flowed by me. I could swear you were an angel.

From your angelic face, to your scent. You were absolutely perfect and I was infatuated with you. I remember thinking someone like you would never go for someone like me.. right?

How happy I was when I figured out I was wrong.

From the way you held yourself to your laughter to your strength. You were everything I was looking for and more. How could I stumble upon love so quickly? How was I so lucky to have you enthralled with me.

You had never even heard of my band yet, you weren't a crazy, obsessed fan girl. You weren't someone looking for a one night stand or someone who wanted fame by association. You were so beautiful and real and absolutely raw. I still don't understand sometimes why you chose me, but I'm so glad you did.

×××

but here... without you. I feel as though I've lost a part of me. Like I'm not me when I'm not with you. I don't feel whole and I don't think I will until we've been reunited.

××× you're bright red, slushy red tongue seemed to gawk at my blue one as we laughed. I laid my around around you as we walked through the park. I finally had a day off from rehearsing and playing live shows, to hang out with you.

I swear my heart was going to explode out of my chest just from staring down into your beautiful eyes. The way you were staring up at me—i don't think I had ever loved somebody so much. You were my true "everything".

××× your warm breath, slowly yet calmly blowing against my neck as you fell into a deep slumber was probably one of the most relaxing things I could ever dream of. My arms were wrapped around you as the TV quietly played in the background. My body had never felt so amazing. And now with you—you just made everything so much better.

My hands glided into your hair as you snuggled closer into me. With the warm air surrounding us and the soft hum of the noise around us. Everything seemed absolutely perfect.

How could I live without you?

will ich nich' sein

draußen hängt der himmel schief

und an der Wand dein abschiedsbrief

ich bin nich' ich wenn du nich' bei mir bist—bin ich allein

I slowly closed my eyes, my body finally relaxing. Ever-so slightly, at least. We'd be together again soon, I'm not sure why tonight was so hard for me, to be without you.. but I cannot wait to see your sparkling beauty staring back at me when we come together again. I don't feel like myself right now, but hopefully with time, you will bring that back to me...

sorry this isn't longer 😭 I hope you guys enjoyed this though! also here are the English translations for the lyrics. They're pretty accurate, but some stuff may be a little off 😞

translations:

one: My eyes show off all of my sadness, and find no comfort here.

two: I can't face myself anymore, I'm not me.

three: Everything that was here, I cannot find myself inside me.

four: Swept away like a dream, I see myself vanish more and more.

five: I'm not myself when you're not, not with me, i'm all alone.

six: And everything that is still left of me.

seven: I don't want to be outside the heavens hang a slope and on the wall your farewell note. I'm not myself when you're not, not with me, I'm alone.

also this isn't proofread, so if there are any mistakes sorry!!

taglist: none yet

[vmpiires]

❛ INFINITY — 無限大

choso x f!reader ﾉ MDNI

𑂻𑂴 summary. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ you and choso go on a “date” and choso opens up about his family

𑂻𑂴 tags. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ choso (non-curse), mid 90s AU, nsfw, female anatomy, stoner!choso, mentions of going broke, possible sexual content, canon/modern lore mixes, etc.

𑂻𑂴 a/n. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ i almost forgot about this story BUT IM HERE. reblog to support meeee and enjoy :D (lmk if you wanna be tagged in the next part)

𑂻𑂴 misc. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ masterlist ,, AO3 — dark mode recommended. WC — 2.35K — part four

@sad-darksoul @aiyaaayei @a1-ic3 @exinqiu

“you wanna…hang out? like, right now?” you heard choso say hesitantly over the phone. it was around ten at night and you weren’t busy. you didn’t have anything better to do. plus, you wanted to go out a bit more since you were a bit of a homebody.

“yeah, why not?” you beamed over the phone. “it’ll be fun and i don’t have nothing else to do. plus, we need to hang out more before it gets too cold…winter is around the corner.”

“oh..um, yeah sure. you’re right.” choso answered. though, he was in the clear for the evening since yuji would be spending the night with his friends for a sleepover, the male was still skeptical about somethings.

what if there’s an emergency? what if something happened to his little brother? anything could’ve happened while he was away, not supervising.

you grin excitedly, starting to list multiple places you could go. it took some quick process of elimination just to choose the park. it was simple and it seemed like choso really wanted to go for some reason, so you agreed.

once you got off the phone, you navigate to your messages app and send him a text, ‘oh i forgot to say that if you wanna bring food or something you can.’

now you had to play the waiting game. it was always you waiting longer than five minutes or less than a minute for choso to text back.

well this time you didn’t have to wait. your phone makes a sound shortly after you sent that message. you take a glance down to see that choso loved your message.

‘helping my brother pack. i might be a little late.’

you smiled at the text and urged him to take his time. you thought it was sweet how heavily choso cared for yuji. nothing never went unnoticed around him. he was like a big brother and a mother in one.

you began to put on your clothes and grab whatever you needed before you would finally leave out of the house and make your way towards the park.

the night sky was so clear and perfect. you could see all the stars just from where you were standing. that’s when you started to wonder if choso liked stargazing. how would he feel about that?

you were quickly reminded that choso may not have time for stuff like that since he seemed like a busy man. you could also tell he was the type that wasn’t very exposed to current day activities trending amongst other people.

it’s like he’s trapped in his own bubble.

“hold your hand out,” choso said before lifting yuji’s hand to clip his nails. “now, i’ll be going out somewhere tonight, so i won’t be at home while you’re with your friends…but if you need me, please call me, okay?”

“i know, big brother,” yuji smiled up at his elder brother. choso’s cheeks turned a rosy color before smiling back. “but where are you going? you never leave the house this late unless you picked up work.”

“you’re right but tonight is different…i’m gonna meet our brothers, spend some time outside the house…i shouldn’t be rotting in here all the time anyway.”

choso put the boy down once he finished clipping yuji’s nails and ruffled his hair. he would fold some clothes and place them down into the bag neatly.

“don’t let anybody touch your stuff and break it, okay? you’re allowed to share but make sure they’re being careful. you know money is hard around here and i can barely afford some of this stuff for you.” choso mumbled. his soft expression seemed to turn into a slight frown.

yuji nodded but he couldn’t help but notice his brother’s expression. “are you mad, big brother?”

the dark haired male blinked quickly and shook his head. “no, no. i’m not mad…life is just really hard and i need to probably find a second job.”

working as a bartender is okay for him, he didn’t mind it. but when it came to needing more money to upkeep the house and to satisfy both their wants and needs, he would need a second job.

“then we won’t be able to hang out together,” yuji frowned. it was already hard for choso to make time for his little brother but now it would be even harder.

“i know, itadori…i know. but i’ll make it up to you as best as i can. i promise i’ll never forget about it, okay?” choso held his pinky finger out to yuji. “you trust me?”

“i trust you,” yuji grinned.

“good.” choso smiled as he retracted his hand away from the boy. “now hurry and go grab your coat and your shoes. let’s go, we don’t wanna be late.”

yuji nodded and grabbed his coat from the closet by the front door and put on his favorite red boots before hurrying out of the door, waiting for choso to follow behind him.

after choso drove yuji to the other side of town, choso would make a stop at the corner store and bought another pack of cigarettes and some snacks that you both would like.

it took a little bit of time to make up his mind because he was a bit picky about what he ate but he’d eventually figure it out before heading to the park, finally meeting up with you.

“hey,” choso called her name breathlessly as he jogged over to the spot where you were sitting at. the park was empty, perfect for just the two of you to relax and talk and do whatever came to mind. “i’m so sorry i took so long. i drove thirty minutes from my place, to the other side of town for yuji then back, i’m sorry.”

you noticed his apologetic tone and you nod your head no, smiling at him. “don’t worry about it. like i told you, you didn’t have to rush to get here. i wasn’t going anywhere.”

the two of you finally get comfortable on the grass, eating the snacks you both brought and the drinks. choso noticed you opening a can of beer from the six pack brought with you. the male lifted an eyebrow.

“i thought you didn’t drink..” he said softly. you nod, taking a sip of your beer before sucking your teeth.

“i don’t but it’s nice for the occasion, you know?” you reach down and hand one to choso, offering it to him. the male was about to say no but he considered your next words.

“come on, just one can won’t hurt you. you gotta loosen up a little bit. you’re a busy guy that barely gives himself a break. tonight’s your night, cho.”

the male would light a cigarette and put it between his lips before humming. you were definitely right. choso never gave himself a break. he was always moving. hesitantly, he’d take the can from you and open it, listening to the sound as it hissed open.

you giggled when you saw choso’s face contort to an expression of disgust the second he took a sip of the beer.

“you like this?” he asked.

“i don’t like it either but after a while it’ll taste better.” you reassured. there’s a silence between the two of you as you both sat there, taking in your environment.

trees blowing gently in the quiet wind of the night. lampposts casting dim lights and weak shadows, and the occasional chirping of crickets hiding in the soil somewhere.

choso wasn’t a man of many words so the silence was tolerable but then a thought came to your head. while choso smoked his cigarette and you ate your snacks, you turned to him.

“why’d you wanna come to the park so bad?” you asked.

“it’s from a recurring dream i have. every time i have that dream, i see my brothers here. i just wanted to….i don’t even know. i just wanted to know that this place wasn’t just a figment of my imagination, i guess.”

“do you know what happens in the dream?”

“it all goes by so fast…it’s not that i don’t remember what happens, i just hate talking about it sometimes. i’m sorry.”

“it’s fine, you don’t have to apologize,” you scooted a bit closer to him. “hey, let’s talk about something else. to lighten the mood, y’know?”

“oh..yeah, good idea.” choso nodded slowly, taking a drag from his cigarette. you had an idea already on what to talk about and you were obviously eager. anyone could just tell by the look on your face.

“have you ever stargazed before?” you began.

“uh…no. i mean- i look at stars but…i don’t do it like that. it’s- i don’t know.” he trails off, looking embarrassed and shy when he realized that he’s stumbled over his words a bunch.

“here, lay down.” you would lie down and choso just looked at you as if what you were doing was the oddest thing on earth. you waved your hand, gesturing him to do the same.

finally, choso would lay down, his eyes lighting up at the blanket of stars covering the sky. the stars were beautiful and bright that night. he could see some of them lining up, creating shapes—constellations.

“i love stars. they’re just so pretty.” you comment, “they look so close but they’re just so far…too bad some of them are dead.”

“these stars have been dead for a long time, they’re just now reflecting back to us.” choso chimed in lowly. you sighed.

“don’t you wish you could just be a star in the sky? not having to worry about anything or anyone in the universe, just yourself?”

“i’m not sure if i wanna turn into a star just yet,” choso said. “it sounds like death to me…but if i could run away and live somewhere secluded from society, i’d do it. me and yuji.”

“do you think anybody would miss you?” you frown a little, your expression a bit serious. choso shrugged.

“i have no friends...and if i did, they all died or they’re just people i don’t speak to anymore. i’m that lonely.” he sighed. “i don’t need other people anyway. it doesn’t bother me.”

choso looked at you and automatically felt embarrassed again. he ran his fingers through his medium length hair and shook his head.

“sorry. i overshare a lot.”

“you apologize a lot…it’s not really anything wrong with it, i just noticed that.” you say. “is that just…how you are? if you don’t mind me asking..”

“it’s just how i am, so—never mind. my dad was just so hard on me, i was always apologizing for something and he just kinda turned me into a sorry mess.”

the sudden mention of his father made him frown and he sighed. “i’m glad i don’t live with him…but i would probably stay there just for some money. he’s the typical salaryman with a son that’s broke…or at least, almost broke.”

“does the job you work at not pay enough?” you shifted your body so you were facing choso instead of the sky.

“it helps me get me and my brother some food that would last us a while and probably a shirt. not any of that luxury stuff. the only time i get that kind of stuff is when it’s given to me.”

“okay, that, i think is an exaggeration…every time i see you two, you’re dressed nicely and when we facetime, your house looks nice and clean,” you say. your hand slowly moved towards his but you hesitate to keep going.

“yeah, i guess it is. my job pays pretty well…i guess i’m just paranoid about it not being enough.” choso took a drag of his cigarette. when he felt your hand on his, he’d look down at it then back at you. instead of leaving your hand where it was, he’d take your hand into his.

the two of you were feeling a buzz from the beers you were drinking and the world seemed to be moving in slow motion. choso saw the soft smile on your face as you looked into his soft, tired eyes. you saw how his dark hair covered a lot of his face as he laid on the ground beside you.

“you know, i think you’re a really nice guy,” you blurt out. you weren’t even aware of what you were saying yourself. “i really like you.”

“i….” choso’s breath hitched, “uh…i like you too. i’ve liked you for a long time—since we met.” the male could feel his ears getting hot and the tip of his nose was a pinkish color from the cold, mixed with his blushing.

there was a tingly feeling on his face as his cheeks began to warm with excitement and embarrassment. the cut underneath his bandage was starting to bleed again.

“take this off,” you whispered, slowly removing the bloody bandage, revealing the red cut across his nose that’s usually black. you would take a napkin from your bag and once again, clean the blood from his face.

choso was obviously embarrassed. this was the second time you saw his cut but he didn’t really like others seeing it. the male used his hoodie to cover his nose.

“uh…thank you..for uh—for cleaning it.” he mumbled. you smiled at him and pulled the collar of his hoodie down from over his face before kissing him. your lips locked with each others and you both seemed to be in a deep state of excitement and euphoria.

choso never kissed a girl before. he wasn’t sure what was happening or what he was supposed to do but he tried his best to follow your lead anyway.

when you pulled away, you could see the surprise on choso’s face. his face was flushed from being so inebriated just as you were.

you both fell silent. the only noise that existed was your own breathing and the nature around you. choso was sure he wouldn’t remember much of this tomorrow and neither would you…but deep down, he found it hard to believe.

lowkey this took so long to write,, i’m tired 😭 i’m glad you guys like this. i made something happen so…now its time to get ready to wrap it up. also sorry if there’s any mistakes lol

© EXORSIIAN | © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[yuyu1024]

I think... I love you

Pairings: Yunho × y/n x Mingi

Genre/tags: arrange marriaged, love triangle,

Warning: 🔞🔞🔞📢 cheating (don't do this) smut/angst, cursing, pet names, a hint of family relationship issue but not much, smoking, fetish/kinks, jealousy

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 4.2k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: continutation of 'Won't you regret it?' I hope its a good part 2 for you guys

-- also question... if you are the FL... who would you chose?

Likes and reblogs are much appreciated 😊

****

"Are you alright?"

Yunho enters our bedroom bathroom where I am standing in front of the mirror, zoning out. He is busy undoing all the buttons of his white shirt.

"Since we came back from my parent's house... you've been quiet."

Usually when we are together, I nag. Just a tiny bit. Or maybe not nag but you know chat. I rarely talk to anybody since I got married so, I talk whenever he is arround.

I always tell him what I did during the times he was gone like updating him since he have no clue what the heck is going on with me coz he is not the type to chat with you when he is away. He just text. Though very seldom.

"Yunho..." my eyes darts at him, through the mirror

"Hmm?" He answers while he's facing away and undressing.

"Can we have sex tonight?"

(I know what you may think. That sex is just my main purpose in life but i swear its not. I just... idk... find it... my go to when i dont know what to do? Plus how can I not want it if I have Yunho as my guy?)

He pauses unbuckling his belt and turns around, "do you really want to?"

I sigh as I face him as well. "I want sex. I miss sex." Then I look down at my dirty skirt. "I missed.... you... I guess..." I trail off, a whisper.

This is very out of my character. I admit I do ask him for sex when I want and need it. But saying I miss him outloud... thats new from me.

And yes he always ask me if I really want to. He always wants me to confirm what I want and need. He always makes sure that I am completely 100% okay with it. Because Yunho, well I did mention that he is amazing at sex right? Or if I haven't. HE IS. and If i also forgot to say that boy have kinks and fetishes, He does have. Also even though He looks like an angel, he does rough sex as well especially when he's really in his momentum.

I was stunned when we had our first rough sex during our honeymoon. I almost didn't recognized him. But that was fun. It was an experienced I never had before. (Don't worry it's not too extreme. Just a little spank, choking and tying my hands sort of thing. And this man loves biting my neck and shoulder)

"What did you say?" He asks. His eyes are wide and looks lost

I roll my eyes and turn my back to him. "Nothing..." he didn't heard me.

I guess I am a bit relieved he didn't heard me say I miss him. Because how dare me utter those words after what I did today? I let his friend, his bestfriend, eat me out and even agreed to have sex the next time we meet.

I am evil. I always tag myself as the poor girl who got married to a guy who I don't love, the girl her parent's threw under the bus and the girl who have nothing besides be a wife to him. The fuck? I am the worst person ever. Between the two of us, I am the devil.

"Well... do you want to have sex or not?" I ask again

He's now behind me. He snakes his arms around my waist as he watches me through the mirror.

"Don't you miss having sex with me?" I spat

"What do you mean?"

I turn again to face him, looking up. "Whenever you're home. I always ask you for sex. While.... You never do."

He crunches his brows "I do."

He does but of course the emotional girl in me feels like I ask for sex more than him.

"Not as many as I do."

"Does that matter?" He smiles

"Yes!" Not really. Maybe I just want more of him wanting me and needing me.

"Hmm?" He takes a step back, confused but still smiling. He's not offended by my drama

"Well... It makes me think that when you're away you must ha--" I pause for a second. I was supposed to add more drama by asking if he fucks other chicks than me but I saw something. "What is that?" I panic a little. It's bandage on his lower abdomen. Almost hidding on the hem of his pants. It's not big but still. "What happened?"

"Oh. It's just a small cut."

"Just a small cut? From where? How?" I look closer. "It's new..." I glance up at him, worried. "Yuyu... what happened...?"

"It's nothing..."

"Are you sure?"

He nods. "Yes... don't worry..."

Fuck. He is smiling. I guess it's not a big deal?

I sigh heavily. But it's not a relieved exhale. I know this has something to do with his work. He can always lie but I know. I am not that stupid.

We have been having sex coz... duh we are married. So we see each other naked. I've seen a few scars from his back and arms already. He might think because they are not big so its not that noticable. However I do see it. How can I not see it? I drool just gazing at his figure. I see everything.

"Hey..." he moves closer again and this time, super close that I could feel his boner through my skirt. "Don't frown... I just got back. And I want to see you smiling... not like that..." he softly says.

He cups my face with his one hand and plants the most delicate kiss I have ever received from him on the corner of my lips.

"I missed you too..." he adds before a smile creeps back in over his lips. "And... Yuyu...?" He suddenly says.

Oh crap he heard? Both? And now He's fucking teasing me! Wait. Did I really called him Yuyu outloud? Shit! That nickname is supposed to be for me only. Crap!

"Where did that came from?" He leans lower, making me arch my body to give him access and starts to kiss me on my neck. "Can you... Say it again..." he says in between kisses on my skin

"No..." I whine as I close my eyes

"Please... say it again..." he is talking so delicately all of a sudden. Sounding like a whine but a seductive request. "Say it..." his hands then gropes my boobs. My weakness.

"If I say it again... will you fuck me?"

My mouth then drops as his one hand goes straight to my core. He is caressing it and rubbing his palm on it, making me feel his fingers through my panties.

"Still on birth control?" He asks

I nod as we both look at each others eyes.

"Good."

He lifted me up, positioned me where I could sit comfotably on the top of our marble sink and spread my legs apart.

"You have no plans tomorrow.. right?" He tears up my panties making me gasp. "Coz... It will be a long night..." he snarls while he puts his pants and underwear down in one go.

I shake my head, answering no. I can't speak. I am... I am losing my mind.

He holds onto his length, aligning it with my folds and. "Answer me." He growls before he eases himself in. Full and strong.

"No!" I squeal. "I.. I have... I have no..." I put my arms around his nape, grabbing for dear life. "I have no plans..." I am breathing heavily.

My toes curls as he thrusts. Holy shit!

"Yunho! Ah!"

He is aggressive. This is different but good. Did he really meant it when he said he missed me too? Miss me how? Just for sex or miss ME?

"FUCK!" I hug him as he pounces me.

We both ruined our masters bathroom. It got messy. I need to personally rearrange our sink as I every beauty product, perfumes, body lotions and etc  got thrown on the floor. Plus the towels  oh god our towels. Hmm. We need to buy new ones.

****

After spending time together last night, in my surprise he didn't leave the following day. He actually fucking stayed and I woke up afterwards, still embraced by him. He's sleeping so peacefuly beside me. I finally saw him again, looking like a baby and dreaming.

This is what I want. This is what I need. This is what will make me fall in love with him. The in between the sex. Him being there, present and us having morning talks and etc. Yes sex is part of anyone's life (as long as you want it of course) but the beauty of having someone beside you, always is different.

Maybe I am selfish to wish something from a man who married me for business but I hope I could atleast get this from him. I am not asking and wishing for him to love me (if ever I get to truly learn to love him through out this marriage) I just want him to be a partner to me. I want to have and experience what my parents didn't gave me growing up. Spending time with me, giving me the attention I need even without asking and care. That's all. I know not everyone can love me but atleast just those three. Just.... that. It's not an impossible wish right?

But then again, do I even have a right to wish these from him?

****

I have been zoning out a lot these past few days. I have been contemplating and thinking about me and Yunho. Mostly about me, about my random emotions, my needs and wants.

I am definitely at lost. I may be an adult but my brain can't handle this type of adulting called the "Feelings". Especially when it gets complicated like this because of my shit descisions. Meaning hooking up with Mingi.

Why did I even did it? Like what had gotten into me? I am not like this. I know I value people's feelings. Why did I break when Mingi had his hands on my boobs that day. Why did I spread my legs for him? Why? Why?!

Am I that hungry for sex from Yunho that core just said hello to the next guy that's had the same length as my husband even though its different type of dish?

Fuck. Now I am thinking about these men as food. I am CRAZY!

"Hello baby girl..."

I jump on my seat as Mingi shows up, kissing me on the cheek.

"What the fuck?" I hiss at him, glaring even. "Why did you kiss me?" I look around and could see Mrs. Jeong and Mrs. Song from afar busy looking at the set of jewelries on the table.

Fuck. I almost had a heart attack. Glad they are busy and focused on the sparkles.

"It's just a kiss on a cheek baby." He says in his low voice, a whisper.

"Still...." I exhale, exasperated

"You are not responding to my texts lately." He says as he sits down at the chair across me.

"I got busy."

"Busy?" He repeats, sounding a bit amused. "We had a deal..."

"I am doing it... the painting... I mean."

He chuckles, leaning forward resting his elbows on his knees. "Baby girl... that's not the only canvas we planned to paint... remember?" I see his eyes scanning me from my chest down to the thing between my legs. "I was promised a sex... you gave me little taste of what heaven feels like and you're suddenly backing out?"

"I'm...."

"Well...?"

I look away and try to focus on Yunho's mother picking jewelries she would like to wear for the ball.

"Can we talk about the painting later?" I say a bit louder so the others could hear.

He chuckles and lay his back, resting. "Fine."

"Is everything alright?" Mrs. Jeong asks

"Yes." I answer smiling.

"I see." She then goes to sit down beside me and shows me this amazing diamiond tear drop earrings. "This would really go well with the black heart neckline gown of yours.. for the ball."

I look at it and my jaw drop how pretty it is. "It will... but..."

"But?" Mrs. Song butts in. "What you mean but? That's one heck of an expensive earring darling... don't you like it?"

"Oh gosh... I do... I do, Mrs. Song.. " I hold her hands and thanked her for the jewelries she brought for us to check and chose from. However...

"Did Yunho said, you two will not go to the ball?" Mrs. Jeong asks

I press my lips together. Not responding to the question. But of course, Yunho's mom knows it already.

"That boy and socializing..." she sighs

"Your son is not going again? But he said he will. He said he will atleast try once he gets married. And now he is married with this wonderful woman.. why is he not coming again?" Mrs. Song says

"Yunho really can't keep promises. What's new?" Mingi stands up and goes to stand near the open window. He's going to smoke again.

"Even if he promised to his mother?" Mrs. Song is bothered and sad.

She was expecting to see me and Yunho to the ball she will be hosting for this halloween season. It's for charity and also her favorite time of the year so she's very excited. She wants everyone to be present and to have fun.

"Even to me... his godmother?" She pouts

"We all know he's like that... work is important to him than us..." he puffs a smoke out. "Sorry Mrs. Jeong..." he adds

"It's okay dear. I know it already so..." Mrs. Jeong puts the earrings back to its case and just smiles at me. "Anyways... we can still hope for next time."

"Yeah... we can." I mumble

So, it's not only me who have issues with Yunho keeping promises and being present.

"So," Mrs. Jeong stands up, hands together and smiling. "We will go now and do more meetings with the coordinators for the ball. Final run downs of the flow of the party, theme and set designs... how about you two?"

"I'll stay." Mingi answers immediately. "We have to talk about commission..."

"Commission?" Both of the ladies repeat

"He requested for me to paint a portrait of him..."

"Really?" Mrs. Song sound surprise

"Money will go to charity." I add

"That's good then!" Mrs. Song is happy to hear the word charity. "Looking forward for the painting... we can display it at the house when its done."

"Sure will." Mingi answers.

The moment everyone left the room and silence fills up the emptiness, Mingi chuckles as he sees how frozen I got onto my seat.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He says

"I know." I look down at my knotted fingers on my lap.

Yes. Mingi may look like he'd beat anyone up but he is gentle with me. Nice with me. I never once feel like he means any harm. Well except on our first meeting months ago. We argued yes but he is still sweet to me.

"Are you thinking about Yunho? On why he does not want to go to the ball?"

I look up at him and nod.

His snorts a laugh. "It's been awhile since you two got married. Don't you guys had any getting to know each other talks? Or its always sex when you two are together?"

My eyes twitching at his claims. (Though he is right)

"Anyways... don't care about your sex life with him." He walks back to the chair from earlier and puts off his cigarette on the ash tray.

"So?" I ask

"You should ask your husband about it...not me..."

"I did. He just said he's busy that day."

"That's lie. Every one's schedule of each families that are invited for that day, are all clear. It had been agreed on for years now. It has been a tradition for decades now. So... ask him again.

"Oh..." my back finally touches the foam of the chair I am sitting on.

Oh Yunho. Why is it so hard for him to talk to me? Be open with me? Did I not give him enough reason to trust me and to feel safe around me?

I had shared my life with him. The stories from my mother and the stories from me, He knows a lot about me more than anyone. My first crush, the first time I got my heart broken, the insight about my feelings about my parents and relatives. Even stories about my struggles with relationship with people. I showed him vulnerability. And yet, it is still one sided.

Yes he did tell stories about him too. His life when he was a kid, during his university days and his hobbies. But those are common knowledge (I think). All of that are also known by his family and friends. He never shared his own thoughts and feelings to me. He never let his guard down with me. It's always positive. Everything is okay and good.

Maybe for him, whatever we have, will remain a contract. Just a signed piece of paper for him no matter.

I think, I should just stop thinking about him. I should stop overthinking about us and whatever feelings I am slowling building for him. I will only get hurt at the end. I am just someone for him to have sex with when he's home.

I know, I know he did say he missed me too. Twice. But maybe he just says that because he miss sex. Not actually me.

"You're frowning..."

"Hmm?"

I glance up and see Mingi standing infront of me, leaning in as he lightly flicks me on the forehead.

"You're not listening to me..."

"What? Did you say something? Sorry... I was--" I stop. I could not tell him what I was thinking.

"Was what?"

"Nothing." I mumble before I get off my seat. "I'm just gonna go..."

"You're going? Just like that?" He says as I walk pass him. "You are in my house..."

"So...?"

"So?" He repeats, "Baby girl, didn't I made you feel good? Didn't you like my tongue in your pussy?" Here we go again. He is teasing me again. He always ask this whenever we meet.

I glare at him. "Stop." Hushing him as someone might hear him.

"Don't worry... everyone is gone. This is my house."

"What you mean gone?" I look around

"I don't have anyone here... I'm alone."

"That can't be."

"Oh yes... it can. My staff only comes here during the weekdays and they don't stay pass 6pm. I like my privacy."

"So you mean..."

"Yes." He slowly comes closer and closer. "It's a Saturday too... the staff you saw with my mother are hers. And they left with her already so..."

My back then hits a wall from whatever room we are in.

"We can do what was promised to me months ago and no one will know." He smirks as his body finally reaches mine.

"We can't..." I say quietly

"Why not?" He whispers, lowering his head and kissing me on the cheek. "I know you liked what we did last time..."

"I did." I can't lie about that.

"So what's holding you back?" His hand roams around my curves until it reaches the buttons of my blouse. "You like this right? You like it when I play around your nipples..."

He hasn't finished opening my blouse, he just slid in his fingers in so it could touch my laced covered tip. He's teasing me. He wants me to react.

"Stop..." I say

"You tell me to stop... but baby girl... if you could only see how aroused you look right now..." he grabs my face with both hands and tilt it up so I could look up at him. "I just touched you and your eyes are already dreaming for more..."

"We can't do this... It was a mistake..."

"It maybe a mistake for you baby girl. But for me..." he finally kisses me. His tongue invades my mouth until a moan carries my soul out of my body. "You are my heaven right now."

That's it. I am gone. I didn't even fight the urge. This officially makes me a whore.

Mingi carries me with while we kiss. He sits back down at the chair from earlier but now I am with him. No, actually, on top of him. I am riding him.

"Ugh!" He throws his head back, hands gripping on my hips. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

This is so wrong. Why don't I have a backbone to say no to Mingi? What the hell is wrong with me?

"Ahh!" I cry as I bounce faster and made him go deeper in me. "It's so good..." my voice is shaky

"You take me so well." He say breathing heavily. His brows creases and mouth in an O. "Fuck!"

After a few more strokes, both of us came together. I collapse onto him. I drained all my energy squating on him.

"That was amazing..." he says

I could hear his heart beating so fast as my head rests on his chest.

"Y/n..." he calls my name

"Hmm...?"

"If ever..."

"If ever what...?" I ask closing my eyes.

"If ever you decided to end thing with Yunho... I want you to know... that I'll be here waiting for you."

My eyes flings open, "What did you say?" I got up so fast

"I am willing to marry you... if you and Yunho don't work out."

"M-marry? What the fuck are you saying? Your dick is still inside me and you go on saying if I get divorce one day.. you will... marry me?"

"Yes." He answers it like its nothing yet he looks so darn serious.

"You think... he will divorce me?"

"No... he will not... which sucks. Because who will divorce someone like you...?" He caresses my cheek and smile. "I am just laying it out to you... the other option you have if it does happen... I am not wishing any harm into your marriage baby girl... well besides more sex with you I guess..." he smiles and then winks

"You are crazy." I roll my eyes at him

"I am. I know that." Then he grunts as he slowly moves his hips again. "Crazy as I am offering and willing to be your lover even just behind closed doors."

I could feel him get harder again in me. He's aroused again. I haven't recovered from the high yet and here he goes again. I'm still hugging his length.

"You're blushing reacting to my dick moving in you." He teases

"S-shut up." I moan the words out as my inside tenses up again with him rocking me on him.

"Baby girl..." he hugs me and breathe in my scent. "Ahhh..." he is moaning along with me.

Fuck what is this. We just had sex just a few minutes ago and now we are doing it again. I am not complaining though coz holy shit it was good. A different good. However this one, this second one... feels different.

"Y/n..." he says my name again. His hands around my body and his face resting on my chest. "Y/n..."

All of a sudden, the bad boy, aggressive and blunt Mingi becomes tame and yearning.

"Let me be your lover." He mumbles. "I don't think I can't move on from you after this...." he then trails kisses on my chest up to my neck. "I want to be with you... even just like this... to pleasure you..."

My body then reacts to his words. I know it did. I felt him clench onto me when I felt something in me dwells up a strong emotion.

"Fuck..." he breathes burrying his face on my neck. "Please... y/n...ahhh... please... Say yes... say yes to me. I-I need you..."

I am crying. This is my first time hearing someone say they want to be with me. I know he might be just saying it out of his sex high but hearing the words... and him getting vulnerable because of me.

What did I do to him to make him want me? We only saw each a few times after the first meeting. Most of it was us talking about the painting and him doing poses for me for inspirations. Yes it were more than a handful of lunch dates, still related to the painting and all but... he got feelings for me?

Is it because my brain is so messed up thinking about me and Yunho, our complicated relationship that I missed the part that Mingi and I got a connection? That we got to know each other more than I realized?

But this is wrong. I am married. Fuck, I'm so confused.

"Oh, Mingi..." I moan his name as he sensually bites my earlobe.

"Say yes....I beg you." He lifts me up and move us both to the sofa. He's now on top of me and finally sees the tears coming out of my eyes. "Don't cry..." he kisses my damp cheek. "I promise, I'll make you happy and safe..."

"But..."

"As I said... I don't give a fuck about your sex life with Yunho. I don't give a damn fuck about your marriage. I want you. I need you." He leans in to kiss me again. "And I think... I love you."

[bluestarjay]

Guys, I actually need Dad Ukai so bad, especially with Hinata 🙁🙁🙁 there are NO fics of Ukai being a dad, and istg I've read them all!! Theres I think like a 3 part series where Hinata's mom dies and Ukai takes him and Natsu in, and then there's a, like, 15 chapter fic in which Ukai acts like a dad to every member on the team, including Kiyoko and Yachi, and it's so sweet, but aside from those that's it!! Like Hinata is fr so fatherless!! Give him a dad please!! And make it Ukai!! Or Takeda!! Bc Takeda comforting Hinata after Komemadai (idk if I spelled it right) and saying "it's still volleyball" AHHHHHHHH. NO NO NO NO. I am ripping my hair out and violently sobbing. I am a sucker for found family tropes, and yes, Hinata has the Karasuno volleyball team as his family, but we're NOT including Ukai or Takeda????? I need them like fucking Irondad and spiderson. Like, tell me why there's only like 5 fics under the "Ukai Keishin and Hinata Shouyou" tag???? Not even dad Ukai or anything, just the two of them?? You're telling me /nobody/ uses that tag??? I saw a tiktok (@v3lleityy on tiktok) where Ukai tells Hinata he's proud of him and then Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood starts playing and IT SO REALLLLL Like this is what I need!!!!! Omg I also read this one fic, and it wasn't really Ukai or Takeda, but it was FUCKING TENMA UDAI TAKING CARE OF HINATA LIKE AN OLDER BROTHER AND ISTG IT WAS SO GOOD. Basically Hinata was jealous and upset when Kageyama was invited to the camp and he wasn't getting any better and he was just kinda stuck, so he punched out a window in Ukai's shop, and so he was taken to the police station, and when Ukai comes to take him home he's not angry, and when Hinata asks him why, he apologizes for not noticing his feelings earlier 🙁🙁, and then later he meets Tenma during a storm, and he begs Tenma to train him, so instead of sneaking in, he trains with Tenma. It's such a sweet fic and if anybody wants the names to any of the ones I mentioned just lmk and I'll see if I can find them!!

[capnmachete]

Johnny Davis x plus-size fem!OC (Period piece -- mid-1960s, Bikeriders universe but canon-divergent)

PART 4: A Brand-New Fool Gettin' ahead of yourself; the problem with an active imagination.

By-request tags: @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler; @zablife; @lou1333 If anybody else wants to be tagged, just LMK.

(Part 1, Part 2. and Part 3)

Part 4: A Brand-New Fool You always hate it when Gus is right.  Partly because he gloats like nobody’s business and gets damn near insufferable, and partly because you don’t like being wrong.  And partly also because he runs his mouth when he’s gloating, and pretty soon everybody, including prissy Tiffany, knows your business.

You especially hate it when he’s right about somethin’ that matters to you.  And – to your own little-bit-embarrassed surprise – Johnny Davis matters to you. 

And the fact that he’s married after all? That matters to you, too.  Prolly a whole lot more than it ought to, given as how y’all have only spent a few hours together, here and there, each one a month or two apart.

But that damn night with the pie and the silly flirtin’ has done stuck in your mind something terrible.  So has that boyish smile and those big hands, them dark blue-gray eyes and the way they twinkle.  The way he calls you Miss Corrina even after you tell him not to bother, like you’re somethin’ special. 

All of that has done set up shop up there in between your ears, fillin’ your head with all kinds of silly romantic what-if notions.  Daydreams of ridin’ around in the cab of that big ol’ red Peterbilt, seein’ what the world outside pokey little LaGrange has to offer.  Maybe kissin’ those soft-pink out-of-place lips, feelin’ those big hands set on your hips where they look like they’d fit just right. The very idea makes you tingle in a way it prolly shouldn't, makes you feel like maybe you ain't really the good girl you think you are, at least not altogether.

Even Momma’s caught you woolgatherin’ – standin’ at the counter while the sink damn near overflows, a faint little hundred-miles-away smile on your lips, eyes all hazy.  “What in the devil’s got into you lately, ‘Reena?” she asks you, mouth all pursed up, leanin’ past you to shut off the water before you flood the kitchen.  “I swear it’s like you’ve done lost your mind, walkin’ around with your head in the clouds.”   She tut-tuts, and then cuts her eyes at you, suspicious.  “You and Melvin Hoskins ain’t – “

She don’t say anything else. But she don’t have to – gives you that look like maybe she thinks you’re out bein’ the Whore of Babylon when you’re not pourin’ coffee and dishin’ out eggs and tidyin’ up around the house.  “Jeezum Petes, Momma!”  you snap at her.  "Really?"

Does she really think you wanna be stuck in some little crackerbox house with a gas-station boy, ironin' greasy uniforms and poppin’ out little Hoskinses for the rest of your days?  No thank you, not on your life.  The thought makes you shudder a little bit. “Melvin Hoskins?  Please.  Psssh.”  You elbow her out of the way and get to washin’ dishes.  Gus’ job at the diner; yours at home.  

“Well, y’all been passin’ the time together, a little,” Momma reminds you, all prim, and hands you a plate.  You dunk it in the hot water and hold it under there for a minute, pretendin’ it’s Melvin and his haw-haw laugh and his grabby hands.  “He ain’t a bad lookin’ boy, not really, ‘cept for the teeth,” she points out.  “And you can’t afford to be too picky,” she says, with a not-so-subtle look at your backside.

And that dish in your hands under the water? For just a minute it turns from Melvin to Momma – from grabby hands and teeth already a lil’ brown from Skoal to a head full of curlers and a prissy little disapprovin’ mouth, a housecoat with flowers in colors you ain’t never seen in actual nature.  “Passin’ time is the onliest thing we’ve been doin,” you say, voice all icy. You give the dish a good scrub, maybe a little harder than you really need to, and clink it into the dryin' rack near hard enough to chip it. “And I’ll be as picky as I please, thank you very much.”

“I’m just sayin,” Momma continues, a little chastened but not givin’ up.  “Thirty’s just around the corner; most of the girls you went to school with are married now, raisin’ babies.  Givin’ their mommas grandkids to fuss over.”

“Well, most of the girls I went to school with are stupid,” you grumble.  Not that you really mean it. You went to school with Sharlette, after all, and she ain’t stupid, just unlucky.   And with Tonya down at the Krazy Kurl, and she’s pretty damn smart – runnin’ her own salon and everything.  A success story.  And there’s plenty of others that are nice.  And not stupid at all, even if they’re content to stay in LaGrange and do nothin’ but clean up after husbands and raise babies and look at the same damn corn and laundrymat and gas station every day.

You’re just feelin’ grouchy and snappish because you got busted daydreamin’ about Johnny Davis.  Again.  ---

Who you find out before too long that you got no business daydreamin’ about.

It don’t happen right away – you see him once more, twice more.  Both times that nice smile and that “Miss Corinna”, coffee and pie. Both times visitin’ and flirtin’ a little in between customers.

By the third time it’s kinda become your routine, the thing the two of you do.  Gus don’t even look twice anymore when Johnny comes behind the counter to fetch out pie and coffee.  It’s lemon meringue this time. The after-Friday-night-football crowd had done come through a few hours earlier and cleaned you out of chocolate cream and coconut cream, tore right through those pies like a swarm of locusts.

Lemon meringue’s not your favorite – not by a long stretch – but it tastes a little better tonight. Sweeter, when you’re eatin’ it with a handsome trucker who smiles at you and treats you like a lady.  And looks at you like you might be the prettiest thing he ever saw, like that extra twenty or so pounds and that big backside Momma’s always pointin’ out don’t matter at all.

And the two of you talk, like you always do, in little dribs and drabs between customers, from the time the big red semi rolls into the lot right up until Johnny’s gotta go again.  Like usual tonight, it’s mostly you doin’ the talkin, but he chimes in a little too – not a big talker, just a few words here and there. 

And you start findin' out things -- a little at a time He's from Illinois.  Long-haul trucker; used to just drive a route in town but started drivin' over the road a few years ago. Likes lemon meringue pie, somethin' you file away for future reference. Rides a motorbike back home, races' em sometimes. That makes you laugh because it's hard to imagine; onliest bikers you ever met are scruffy and dirty and wild-lookin, nothin' like the clean-cut truckdriver in front of you with his tucked-in flannel shirt and good manners and neat slicked-back hair.

He laughs too. Grins, like maybe it ain't the first time he's gotten that reaction. "Yeah, I know," he says, with a shrug. "Prolly gettin' a little too old for all that. Silly, right? But I like it." No sillier than readin' romance novels, you decide, and tell him so.

You find out he's thirty-eight. It might be rude to ask a lady her age, but you ain't ever heard anybody say it was rude to ask a man. And you're feelin' fine and bold, so you just right up and ask. And he tells you that, and then some. Lives in Chicago, a great big city, the kind of place you might like to see one day.

And got two kids – girls, cute little blond things a couple years apart.  He takes out his wallet, shows you their pictures, touchin' the plastic over each photo like he misses 'em. "Deborah. And Patsy," he tells you, gray-blue eyes goin' all soft. 

He don’t say anything about a wife, but he doesn’t have to – you see the little-bit-lighter spot on one finger where a wedding ring most probably ought to be. Maybe oughta have noticed it before. Might actually have noticed it if you hadn't been tryin' so hard not to. Between that, and the two little stairstep girls, and the fact that he flirts with you and talks to you but never tries to get fresh?   Well, you don’t have to be a genius to figure out he’s got a wife at home.  Prolly just as pretty and blond as the two little princesses in the pictures, maybe just as petite as Tiffany.

Your heart sinks a little bit.  Okay, maybe it don’t just sink, maybe it kinda breaks, but that’s your own damn fault.  Momma always says you got an overactive imagination, and she’s right – you’ve done talked yourself into a big fat crush on Johnny Davis.  Into thinkin’ he’is some kinda Prince Charming in a Peterbilt, fixin’ to fall in love with you and swoop you up and carry you off like one of those too-handsome-to-be-real fellas on the covers of the novels from the library.

And all without slowin’ down to find out for sure if he’s taken or not.  And whether he even thinks about you that way, or is just a good-lookin’ man with nice manners and pretty eyes, who’s just passin’ the time.  You are, in short, a doggone fool, and have done gone and broken your own heart.

It ain’t like you expected any different.  Shouldn’t have expected anything different, anyways.  All the nice guys, the good ones? They're taken, so far as you’ve seen.  Only the odds and ends left over, idiots like Melvin, or old grumpy guys like Gus.  Sure, there’s some single truck jockeys that pass through, but mostly they’re only lookin’ for a friendly face and a little chitchat over coffee.  Or a one-nighter at a motel, and you aren’t that kinda girl.  And they’ve mostly got their eyes on the size-twos like Tiffany anyway, all blond hair and sparkly eyeshadow and big boobs on display, pink uniform unbuttoned low enough to show off the goods.

You do your damndest not to let the disappointment show on your face. But you must look at least a little deflated, because Johnny stops halfway through tuckin’ his wallet back away and gives you a look.  Soft-eyed again, and careful like, studyin’ your face.  “You alright, sweetheart?” he asks you, brow all furrowed up.  And while it mighta lit up you like a Christmas tree bein’ called sweetheart before, now you just wish he wouldn’t.  Because he don’t mean it like you wish he meant it.

“Oh, I’m fine,” you fib, hopin’ you’re a better liar than everybody says you are.  “Just achy feet,” you toss in, although it ain’t your feet that are achin’. 

Maybe Johnny buys it, maybe he doesn’t.  He looks at you for an extra-long second, and you wonder if he knows more than he’s lettin’ on.  But he lets it pass.  “Glad you’re gettin’ to sit for a minute then,” he tells you. "Rest up."   And things stay a little stiff and awkward for a few minutes, but soon you’re back to yappin’ again, although maybe not with as much verve as usual.

And after he leaves – over to Lincoln, Nebraska this time, to drop off a load of sewin’ machines and pick up a trailerful of dry goods – Gus takes one good look at you, mouth open and ready to smart off.   And then he closes it again, and don’t say nothin’.  Except “Whyn’t ya get yourself a Coke and set a spell, Corinna?  Ain’t all that busy right now, not really.”  

And you wonder just exactly how pitiful you must look. Wonder what-all must be showin’ on your face, if even crochety old Gus feels sorry for you. ___ Song inspo: Fools Fall in Love, the Drifters

[blueprint-han]

[Image ID: A black picture with the title “HOW TO SUPPORT FANFICTION AUTHORS” written in bold caps lock, colored with a winter forest picture. End ID.]

Well, this post has been made countless times, but I’m making one too because I’ve seen a lot of people say they’re new to tumblr and don’t know the whole “reblogging is better than liking” rule and other stuff. So without any further ado, here are ways YOU can support the fanfiction authors. Now keep in mind this applies to almost every author out there, not just the stayblr fandom, so if you’re a silent reader (or even if you aren’t), I advise you go through this post. Warning, this is a fairly long post going into detail, so yeah. I still expect you, the readers to read this, and if you’re a writer, feel free to lmk if i’ve written smth wrong or if you want me to add something! ^^

In this post I’ll go into thorough analysis of the pros and cons of each of the methods listed here and how YOU as a reader can show the authors whose fics you read more love and motivate them to produce content.

WARNING; LONG POST! GOES INTO A DECENT AMOUNT OF DETAIL. NOT EDITED, EXCUSE ANY TYPOS.

#1 : LIKING !

I think this is basic common knowledge, and a lot of people tend to do this. When you like the post, the author sees it, you see it, and if the author has their liked posts accessible (which majority of the time they don’t), and if someone deliberately goes to check it, then they see it. See why so many authors say just liking does nothing? Only liking says “Hey, I’m gonna tell you your story is not that good by simply liking it and not sharing it with other people. :D”

♯ PROS:

You’re telling the author that you've read their fic, and either you’ve enjoyed it to a certain extent, or you’re just saving it to read for later.

Likes are seen by you, the author and anyone who has access to your likes (which, most people don’t).

♯ CONS:

If you ONLY like, you’re not really helping the author’s work reach a wide audience because this site isn’t Instagram. Reblogging is the only way people can SEE our works. I’ll cover more on that in the next section.

In a nutshell, liking is good! But you should most likely use it in a combination with the other stuff I’ve listed below, because just the like itself doesn’t really do much in giving the author any feedback or interaction on their fics.

To clear shit up; I’m not talking about those people who don’t read the story or appreciate it in the first place. I’m talking about those who appreciate the fic, like it, but don’t leave any sort of feedback to show that.

#2 : REBLOGGING !

This is SO, SO important. I cannot stress on this enough. Let me explain WHY so many writers stress on reblogging content: 

Tumblr’s tag system is inherently fucked up, and has grown more so over the year. I’m not kidding, at first, the fic either used to show up in the tags or it didn’t, but now, sometimes your fic can be REMOVED from the tags because of,,, idk tumblr tag shit. Anyways, as you can see, it’s very demotivating for authors at that point, because the major way for people to find their content and expand their blogs has been blocked.  

Due to this reason, tumblr authors need to RELY on you, their followers to help spread their works to a wider audience. Now again, before you get me wrong, I’m not saying you ae forced to rb our works regardless of whether you like them or not. BUT, that being said, if you DO infact like the story, there’s no harm in reblogging, right? By doing this you’re indirectly telling the author — “hey! :D I liked your fic! Which is why I am gonna share it to my followers so they can read it too :D” Trust me, you’re doing nothing but helping the people who produce content for you to read. Seems like a worthy cause to hit the reblog button, right? It’s only a one, or maximum two step procedure.

Leave tags in your reblogs! Trust me, as an author myself and as much as I know from all my author friends, we oft check the tags of your reblogs to see if you found any part amazing or even if you have anything to say about the writing we put so much hard work into. Even a key smash or a “This was so [insert adjective] 🥺” is enough to leave a smile on your authors face. 

♯ PROS :

You’re !! Sharing !! Your authors !! Works !! This leads to them getting more recognition, so for the content they’re so graciously providing for free, you’re promoting their blog and helping them expand it.

If the tags are being a shit, which majority of the time they are, then you’re literally making an author’s day by reblogging! You’re showing them that you, a follower and appreciator of their works are willingly sharing their content because it deserves to be seen by more people. Again before any dumb people decide to attack me, i am talking about people who like the fic but don't bother reblogging and are silent/ghost readers. I am not forcing anyone to read anybody’s work.

YOU’RE MAKING YOUR AUTHOR SO HAPPY WHAT MORE REASONS COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT !! 🥺

♯ CONS :

Literally none, because as far as I remember no author is against reblogging of their works. It’s quite literally the way this platform functions. Reblogging is IMPORTANT.

#3 : COMMENTING/SENDING FEEDBACK !

This kind of overlaps with the previous section, but THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT STEP !! When you leave feedback, you are directly giving the author something so much more valuable to them than high follower/note counts or money. Your feedback is literally our serotonin. I kid you not the number of times I’ve received a positive comment and smiled and it has made my day. There’s a reason youtubers (though not the best example, bear with me here because it was the only one I could think of) ask people to subscribe, like and COMMENT. The subscription is like a follow, the like is ofc like a heart, and the comment is equivalent to an rb with comments in the tags. 

You might argue and tell me that a comment is basically like an ask so the reblogging step isn’t necessary, but I’m sure 99% of you use YouTube and you know that more comments leads to people’s videos boosted in the stream/trending charts. This is what reblogging does. Reblogging shares the piece with other people like minded, which leads to a boost in reads. You are literally helping your author grow.

It’s quite literally the same thing as youtubers. Youtubers NEED validation to keep their content creation going, so do writers, so do other ccs on this site. This post is however, focused on WRITERS, so keep that in mind.

♯ PROS :

By doing this, you’re giving author valuable feedback! It’s similar to what you do in rbing with tags. Interactivity with their fics boosts their note counts and helps expand their audience, so srsly, now think of it: your one comment is playing such a massive role to help ccs create more content.

Imagine how much of a difference the note counts will be in when every person who simply likes after reading the fic, reblogs, leaves a comment and sends an ask. the note counts would be high on each and every fic, which is validation in itself, but your comments would inspire the writer so much more! Please, don’t skip the commenting part. Even a simple one like: “this is so cute!” is wonderful. 

♯ CONS :

Remember, if you’re gonna give constructive criticism (which I’m sure you all are smart enough to know if different from hate), make sure the author is okay with it. Authors need to be in a specific mindset and must be ready to accept criticism, so if you’re gonna give constructive criticism to them when they’re at a low point, it may demotivate them.

Just commenting, instead of reblogging and commenting in the tags/ reblogging and then leaving an ask in their inbox, while it gives validation in plenty, will not lead to the author’s work being spread. Therefore I suggest either reblogging and commenting in the tags or reblog and then leave an ask, or comment under the fic!

!! reminder; I am not saying that if you don’t rb and just leave feedback, your feedback has no value. We authors truly appreciate every bit of feedback, but this post is aimed to help you learn how to interact with and support authors, and make them feel more motivated, because the current scenario of liking and scrolling is taking a toll on their creative abilities. Take it from a person who’s been writing for a year.

#4 : COMMSIONING VIA THEIR KO-FI/OTHER APPS !

Before any of you attack me, let me tell you that this is not a step that is 100% necessary to do. ONLY donate if you can and if you genuinely want to, and if anyone is forcing you to pay for something against your will, you need to get yourself out of there.

Regardless, if an author has a kofi and you’re able to and you want to donate, you definitely should! It’s also a valid form of support.

#5 : ADDING THEM ON REC LISTS/ RECOMMENDING THEM TO REC BLOGS

This is such an underrated option, to be honest. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen my fic was recommended onto some rec list and it’s made me smile so hard. If you like some fics, create a rec list! They’re oft very popular amongst the fans too. Making rec posts is such a great way to share your favorite stories with others. 

Rec blogs! I’ve seen a couple going around, and needless to say they are a great way to get someone else to read your favorite author’s work whilst also giving them your own feedback. These blogs oft accept recs via a form or ask box, and they leave your feedback along with their own, or else they’ll oft tag the author in the feedback post, so look! You’re basically helping your author share their fic to many more people, because you’ve given them feedback and a reblog.

♯ PROS :

Validation! Feedback! Reblogs! More exposure! Helping a blog grow! Spreading love! basically a run down of the stuff I’ve said before!

♯ CONS :

Literally no con of this. Unless, a one in a million case, this author says they don’t like receiving feedback/being tagged, and I’m sure NO person has said this before, at least none that I’ve heard of.

#6 : FINAL COMMENTS; MISC !

When an author points out about how the interactivity is drastically reducing, don’t just give them blind apologies. Yes, you feel sorry for not interacting as much, we understand, but rather show that you’ll become a better content consumer through your actions. We need to see that we’re not just throwing words into a void and that people are actually trying to be better content consumers. 

Understand the fact that authors don’t get paid for this, and 99% of the time, these authors don’t take commissions either. They’re giving you novel worthy writings for free. Take Percy Jackson: You think the author would have felt motivated to write the subsequent parts, let alone two whole series based off of it if literally no one showed that they were interested? Rick Riordan has sales, he is being paid, there are millions of people and big agencies who provide him feedback. Now take that huge amount and simmer it down to an audience of maybe 10000 people This is what fanfic authors want. They don’t want your money, nor are they telling you to risk your lives for them. All they want is, a reblog, some tags, some feedback, some INTERACTIVITY.  A sign that they aren’t throwing fics into the void and that people actually like them, some motivation to continue. Seems fairly easy to throw an rb with some tags, right?

Don’t bother to tell me that we do this for ourselves and we shouldn’t ask for likes and reblogs and feedback, because 1) you are consuming the content that we “write for ourselves” and 2) writers post their content here for interactivity and feedback. We could just not post and write and save our fics in our dungeon drafts for years. But we choose to post to entertain the readers, the consumers. And we aren’t even asking that much in return.

Don’t give me the whole “I’m scared that authors feel that comments are annoying” excuse either because seriously this has been DEBUNKED SO MANY TIMES. Istg, in the nicest way possible, if you still think writers are annoyed by interaction and feedback, after so many posts, long rants have been posted as to how we’re not, then you must truly be living under a rock. There, I said it. Please stop thinking this way, I’ll say it again, AUTHORS ARE NOT ANNOYED OF FEEDBACK, COMMENTS, TAGS, REBLOGS. WE LOVE IT. Saying this is like saying that the audience in a theatre play shouldn’t clap when the play ends because the actors would find it noisy. 🤡

I’ve seen some people saying they have anxiety issues and such, so pls note that I’m not invalidating your condition. If you’re trying to be more interactive, I really appreciate it! If you can’t, that’s fine too. You’re trying.

But for the people who have no reason other than feeling lazy to rb and comment, your lack of interactiveness is not excused. Please. Tumblr is a reblogging site. If you’re gonna consume content like authors are some sort of machines, I encourage you to go get some more perspective.

This site is not Instagram or the satan bird app. Your likes are appreciated but frankly speaking, they do nothing to the author except tell them “Hey i read ur fic but i'm not gonna support u :D” and honestly, that is detrimental to their creative capabilities and mental health. 

DON’T FOLLOW AN ACC JUST TO MINDLESS RB THEIR SIGNAL BOOST POSTS AND THEIR REBLOGS OF GIFS AND NOT INTERACT WITH THEIR WRITING AT ALL ! Trust me, authors prefer a lower amount of interactive followers than a high count that doesn’t even give them any feedback. Again your follows are appreciated, but when you’re following, you know the type of content the author creates, so the author expects that the more followers, the more interactivity. These days, this is just becoming the opposite. So don’t do it! If you’re gonna follow to read, interact with their works. I promise, this will make both you and the author happy. A win-win situation.

In conclusion: SUPPORT YOUR FUCKING AUTHORS! THEY ARE NOT MACHINES THAT HAVE NO FEELINGS TO PRODUCE CONTENT FOR YOU! FICS TAKE DAYS AND DAYS OF PLANNING, PLOTTING, OUTLINING, WRITING, EDITING, MAKING TEASERS. SO JUST SHOW THEM YOU APPRECIATE THEM WITH AN RB. IT’S THE L E A S T YOU CAN DO.

I will be liking this post here written by the lovely @chaninfused​ and @scriptura-delirus​ . Please take time to read it because if you weren’t convinced by my arguments, you will see how much frustration we as writers face on a daily basis. Please, just show support. Here is the post by @stayndays​ about how to get more people to read your work, because it also has a note on reblogging. Please educate yourself, and put an end to this mindless consuming culutre and bring up some interactivity.

If you’ve read this far, I want you to go to two of your favorite authors and leave some feedback in their inbox, and tag me in it (either tag me yourself or ask the author to do so, they won’t mind). Show your writers that our words are taking effect and you are becoming better consumers. I mean it. I’m serious. I want every single one who reads this post to do this. besides valid reasons, if you’re lazy to do this, you’re a part of the problem. PLEASE get more perspective.

Also, feel free to add to this post! I’d love to read your thoughts too, remember to be kind though. And, if I think your rb is somehow contradicting my points and is bringing down the reason I made this post, I will politely ask you to delete your comment, because this post is about being truthful about the harsh reality of tumblr consumers and how we can change it. I’m sure none of you will let it get to that point, though. <3 love you guys. 💓

And, just a reminder, don’t just blindly like this too. Do what I said before, and while I am not forcing you, I’d appreciate your reblog, because seriously, it took me 3 whole days to write this, plus, I’m sure this will help more of your followers understand the fault in consumer culture. haha, that’s it! This post was way too long uff.

also, this is ur cue to not be stupid in my inbox. You have something to say? Think I worded smth wrongly? I’m sure it wasn’t my intention to do so, point it out with manners. 

[butgilinsky]

Hey babe

Maybe Mat barzal x reader

Where they are together, but they had a bit of a strong fight that makes them not talk for a week

And it's harder because she's the official photographer for the Islanders and they must see each other continuously at games and practices.

In a game against Philadelphia, Carter Hart flirts with her and Mat brings out his protective side

A sweet ending please🥺🥺

hi bby i’m sorry it took me forever omg 

a/n: i got carried away w this one so i cut it off but if you want a part 2 lmk((: 

you loved your job, truly. you loved photography, and you loved the opportunities you’d been given by joining the islanders organization, but you managed to make things messy for yourself. it wasn’t written into your contract hat you couldn’t date the players, but it was assumed that you would distance yourself from them. 

mathew barzal, however, threw caution to the wind when it came to that unspoken rule. 

you were knee deep in it by the time you realized it was a bad idea. most days were fine, the two of you were professional in the walls of the rink and you knew how to keep it under control. 

you were keeping it all under control just fine, but going to the rink and smiling at mat from across the halls was not the same as coming to the rink when the two of you were neck deep in an argument. you couldn’t focus on anything when you were arguing with mat. you had fallen behind on editing this entire week, and now you were tip toeing around the rink that you worked at because mat was everywhere you turned, it seemed. 

you kept your post at the glass throughout the entirety of the game, trying to get yourself out of your head when mat was in your camera’s line of sight. you took pictures of the whole team, you had to, it was your job, but it was hard to do that when mat was smiling like an idiot after tito scored, and you had to take a picture of their shared celly. 

even when he turned towards you and you sent him a gentle smile, the sight of his falling from his lips was heart breaking. you knew he was mad at you, but the ache in your chest wasn’t able to recognize the fact that the two of you weren’t on the best times. 

the next few days proved to be harder than you expected, no conclusion being found between the two of you. it was getting out of hand, if you were being honest, and now you had to fly to Philadelphia with the team. you didn’t think all that much about the ride over to Philly until you were faced with your boyfriend happily sitting beside his best friend, not a seat for you in sight. 

you sat at the front of the plane, shoulder bumping against marty’s while you kept your head low and hopefully out of sight. 

“what’s up with you and barzy?” you huffed, shrugging gently and telling matt that he could tell you as soon as he figured it out because at this point, you weren’t entirely sure what the two of you were arguing about either. all you knew was that mat was mad at you and had been ignoring your calls and texts for the past three days. 

you had been lost in the wells fargo center for upwards of thirty minutes when you ran into a boy who seemed like he could be your saving grace. he had a granola bar hanging out of his mouth and his eyes were glued to his phone screen while he walked down the hall. you weren’t sure who he was, but the flyers shirt on his torso paired with the backwards hat on led you to believe he was a player and would therefore know the layout of the rink quite well. 

“hey!” you called out, just loud enough to have him looking up from his phone and over to you. “i’m really sorry to bother you, but i have no idea where i’m going.”

he laughed gently and slid his phone into his back pocket, not overlooking the islanders logo on your shirt or your name tag that hung around your neck. his eyes were soft and his smile was endearing in a time where you barely had anyone else look at you over the last few days. 

“no worries, though i’m not sure i should be helping the enemy.” you laughed gently, about to make a remark about the flyers not being your favorite team either, but he spoke again before you had the chance. “where do you need to be?”

some time later after the boy, that you learned was the goalie and named carter, showed you everywhere you’d need to be over the next few hours, the two of you were sitting in the middle of the empty seats, looking down on the empty ice. 

“it’s weird, seeing it like this.” carter whispered softly, more to himself than to you, but it caught your ear nonetheless. 

“not used to seeing it completely empty?” he shook his head, told you that there’s usually always someone down there. whether they’re cleaning or moving things around, there’s almost always somebody down there. 

“why are you here all alone, by the way?” you hummed softly, letting out a deep sigh with a smile that carter was easily able to identify as forced. “don’t you have a hot shot boyfriend?”

“and how would you know that?” your voice was light, playful, and it showed in your smile that carter easily matched. 

“i’m not sure there’s a single person that doesn’t know what mathew barzal’s girlfriend looks like.” he tore his eyes away from the rink, looking over at you with a look that had your stomach turning, a lump starting to form in the pit of your throat. 

“what’s that supposed to mean?” your voice was soft but the silence across the rest of the rink was enough to lift your words up to his ears, the far corner of his mouth twitching up ever so slightly as he registered them. 

“y/n!” you jumped, startled by the outburst from the top of the section, craning your neck around to lock eyes with your boyfriend. “where have you been?” 

you groaned, one that resided in the back of your throat and was only heard by carter due to his close proximity. he sensed the agitation in your body language and the way your eyes fluttered shut while you took a deep breath to compose yourself. 

“y/n!”

“i’m coming!” you yelled back, muttering a small ‘jesus’ under your breath before pushing yourself onto your feet. “well, mr. hart, thank you for showing me around. i’d be lost without you, literally.” 

he laughed at your joke, though corny he thought it was cute. he shook your hand playfully and watched you climb the stairs to your boyfriend who was glaring at carter even from his place all the way at the top of the section. 

“so you’re talking to me now?” mat tore his eyes away from carter to glare at you, his arms still folded over his chest and his jaw clenched. 

“what am i supposed to do? watch you cozy up beside the goalie i’m about to score a hatty on?” in any other scenario, you’d be laughing, chirping him for claiming that he was going to score a hatty tonight, but you couldn’t do that right now. all you could do was laugh bitterly, focused on the fact that the only reason he was speaking to you for the first time in three days was rooted in jealousy. 

“i wasn’t cozying up next to anybody, mat. i was lost and he had time to spare so he showed me around the rink. that’s all-”

"that’s not exactly how it looked to me just now.” you rolled your eyes and walked past him, ducking around his shoulder and walking in the direction of the room carter pointed out for you a few minutes earlier. “y/n! we’re talking!” 

“i’m busy! we’ll talk later!” 

part 2???

[spencersmagic]

For as long as you’ll have me - SR

i don’t know who owns this gif (i found it on my computer). If anybody knows where its from please let me know so i can tag them.

update: found them. @anepiphany . sorry for not tagging you at first. lmk if u want me to tag u in any other way/change the gif :) 

// Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 //

masterlist // taglist

Summary: Spencer learns about love and the importance of communication in the last part of the “I’ve got you”.

Couple: Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader (I think. I don’t remember being gender-specific but correct me if im wrong).

Category: a bit of angst, mostly fluff. 

Warnings: Spencer is a bit toxic (my poor baby is learning but FUCK if he isn’t a bit of a dumbass), idk if spencer is borderline obsessive or just eager but ILL ALLOW IT, sorta deep? idk, i tried to delve into the reasons why spencer is the way he is and i might’ve gotten lost in the way down. let me know if you need anything trigger tagged or warned. 

Words: 2010 words. 

**

The rest of the night was a blur. Spencer’s sudden outburst had left you baffled, not knowing what to do. You had finished Spencer’s paperwork, figuring you’d do it anyways since he was so tired.

You would love to be one of those people who burst out in anger when something hurts them, but that’s just simply not who you are. And you kicked yourself for it, wanting to face Spencer, seething, asking him who the actual fuck he thought he was talking to you like that. After all you’d gone through. But you couldn’t. You stayed, silent, immersing yourself in the paperwork in front of you.

**

Nothing could’ve prepared Spencer for what awaited him at the BAU.

All his life, Spencer has found himself in unlikely situations. Situations from which he had to dig himself out. As a kid, taking care of his mother, he would exhaustively study every single possibility, every single outcome to his actions. He didn’t want anything to catch him unprepared. He immersed himself in textbook after textbook trying to learn as much as he could, trying to absorb every little detail just in case it could help him later on.

He absorbed textbooks, and novels, and poems, and quotes because he was afraid of not knowing the answer. He was scared of not knowing what to do.

But apparently, as he learned about physics, and criminology and the meaning of life, he forgot that he also had one of his own. That there is more to life than work and survival.

He forgot to learn about love, and emotion, and all the other arts. The ones he couldn’t hide behind statistics to understand, no matter how much he tried.

Nothing could’ve prepared Spencer for what awaited him at the BAU.

The emptiness.

As he left the day before, he felt awful. He knew he shouldn’t lashed out, but he was so hurt he could feel it physically, and so tired of never being anyone’s first choice. But most of all, he was heartbroken that you hadn’t cherished the memory like he had.

And it was completely unfair to expect something of you when he hadn’t made any advances either, but he was so scared of being rejected by you. The agent that had latched onto him, who always listened to his rants and statistical facts, who made him feel safe and comfortable.

He felt human around you.

As he entered the bullpen, he felt as abstract as he could. Like he was a drawing, a caricature, mocking the parts of him he despised the most. He felt his skin crawling and, if he didn't know that it was physiologically impossible, he would think his heart had stopped completely.

You weren’t in today.

And maybe it was the exhaustion (to be fair, he hadn’t slept well, instead tossing and turning and thinking about the venom he had spewed at his favourite person), or maybe some external force was making him pay for his actions the day before, but he felt his heart dropping onto his gut - again, something he knew was physiologically impossible but still found truer than anything he had interacted with during the short day he had.

Your desk was empty, and he was terrified.

He cleared his throat, turning to JJ. “Is uhm- is Y/N in?” he asked, voice still, somehow, wavering.

She turned to him, distracted with a file she was holding between her arms. “She called in sick” she offered, saying no more.

He sighed, shakily. He didn’t feel real today. He was merely a concept, forced to float through this specific space-time. Like a ghost.

He didn’t even realised that his hands were moving to his new phone (you had convinced him that he should get it so you two could FaceTime - needless to say, he wouldn’t be hard to convince), and dialled your number.

It went straight to voicemail.

**

You rarely called in sick, instead preferring not to endure whatever was hurting alone. But today you couldn’t. In some weird way, you didn’t want to be perceived.

Spencers words had pierced your skin, leaving you in pieces. You hated that he had so much power over you. You hated that you had allowed your feelings to cloud you to the point where you would call in sick, preferring to cuddle a pillow instead of a file. Preferring to sleep through the pain.

You had given yourself a day. One day where the sadness could consume you. You would carry out all the clichés. Nursing a Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice-cream tub and watching The Office. Wrapping yourself like a burrito in a soft blanket. Trying to cry it out. 

You had always been very in touch with your emotions. You always tried to make sense of them, clearing them from your mind once you untangled them. You needed today, you were sure. As soon as today was over you would go back to the BAU, and face everybody like any other day. You’d bring in whatever cute gadget you had found for Penelope, you’d make sure Spencer had his coffee when he was tired... You’d be back to normal.

You needed today.

**

He didn’t feel real today.

His feet shuffled as he moved to Hotch’s office, mumbling something about finding you, and then left, leaving Hotch perplexed at Spencer’s mindless assertiveness.

He kicked himself for feeling so slow as he got to your apartment. His mind was going at a thousand miles per hour, but he felt like he was empty, no real thoughts in his mind. All he had was vacant ideas, not a trace of clarity in boy genius’s mind.

He knew why he had treated you like that. He knew it was wrong. But he was so confused and scared. He didn’t want to hurt you and he didn’t want to lose himself in his love for you. But he had.

He stood in front of the door. His hand twitched at the idea of knocking on the wood in front of him. His knuckles felt bruised at the idea of softly brushing them over your cheek, calming you down once again. His fingertips shook like they had a consciousness of their own, the lingering memory of your skin against them as you sighed contently becoming too much for him to handle.

He was so scared of not being good enough for you.

He brought his hand to his face, rubbing it furiously as he kicked himself once again.

His knuckled knocked on the door meticulously, methodically, like he had done a thousand times. The soft mumbling of the tv was the only sound coming from the apartment. Once again, as if he’d been possessed, he grabbed the spare key you had gifted him dramatically after you’d fallen ill, “in case i die”. He kept the key, figuring you would tell him when you wanted the key back.

You never asked for it.

He opened the door, which halted a few inches after he started moving it forwards.

“Ouch! What the fuck Spencer?” you exclaimed as he hit you in the face with the door. You lifted your hand to rub the area he had hit.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” he cradled your face like he had done a thousand times before, fingertips finally finding your skin. They sighed contentedly, he was sure, like they had just returned to their home. Like they would curl up with a book in the crevices of your features, soaking in your greatness.

You shuddered softly, so softly he probably wouldn’t’ve picked up on it if he weren’t on edge.

“Yeah, I’m fine” you sighed, cursing your voice for betraying you, wavering from the tears. “What are you doing here?” you questioned, not exactly mad. No. You couldn’t be mad.

You would love to be one of those people who burst out in anger when something hurts them, but that’s just simply not who you are.

His hands fell from your face, like it burned, like touching you one more second would turn him into ashes.

He felt human around you and he had hurt you.

Words spluttered out of him nervously.

“Y-Y/N. I lied to you.” he started, finding himself mesmerised, lost in your eyes as you looked up at him, eyes teary and wide, red mark on your forehead, and biting your cheek. “I lied to you, I- I-” his mind searched for the words that could accurately describe the millions of thoughts that were swarming his head.

“I lied, and we promised to never lie to each other. But I was so hurt, Y/N, so scared. I’ve never felt like this before.

You know, men are much more likely to fall in love at first sight, representing a 48% chance in contrast to women's 28%, but I never thought I would fall into this statistic, being a man of science. I’ve always picked the people around me carefully, meticulously, not letting anybody in. But when I saw you something clicked. I needed you in my life. And when you started talking to me - no one had ever treated me like you did, so openly, so incredibly unafraid - and i became completely mesmerised by your existence.

You know-” he chuckled lightly, nervously, recalling his thoughts, before throwing caution out of the window. “I did question the existence of an infinite deity, one that could justify your beauty and greatness, but, again, i’m a man of science. I had to get to terms with the fact that you were completely human. And its- its so fucking confusing” he shut his eyes sharply, trying to understand “ Its so fucking hard to see you day after day, knowing you could never feel the same way” you opened your mouth to interrupt him but he stopped you.

“I meant what I say yesterday” he watched your face fall, eyes tearing up once again. “I meant it. You know me. I would’ve done it for anybody. I would’ve helped anybody in pain. That’s what i’ve always done. But you’re not anybody. You’re so far from being just anybody, from not being special. In fact, you’re the most special person I have ever met.

It is unclear how many words there are in the English dictionary. The mere fact that our language is constantly changing, being shaped by our society, doesn’t allow an accurate count. The average english speaker knows approximately 42,000 words, and uses half of those. And the common unabridged dictionary has as many as 300,000 entries” he stopped to look into your eyes, his own otherwise roaming all over your face, trying to make sense of you. “I don’t think there are words to describe what I feel about you, Y/N”.

You grabbed the crook of his neck with one hand and the side of his face, and brought him closer to you. “Can i kiss you, Spence?” you mumbled. The words barely left your lips as he crashed onto them, somewhat messily. You didn’t want it any other way.

The kiss was soft, gentle, apologetic, and, above all, understanding.

You definitely needed to heal, talk and understand each other’s struggles. But, for now, this was more than enough.

You broke apart, pressing his forehead against yours and his hand landed on your lower back, bringing you impossibly closer to him.

Insecurity swarmed his head, rushing words once again. He cleared his throat. “I-I’m new to this, Y/N. I’m bound to fail over and over again. If you want someone else, you need to tell me. I can’t handle another heartbreak. I might lash out like yesterday and hurt you” he mumbled softly, eyes closed, breathing her in.

“Spencer, I’ll have you a thousand times. I’ll want you for as long as you’ll have me” you chuckled, leaning in for another kiss. “I would get hurt a thousand times if it means i get to have you, Spence”.

They had each other, and that’s all that matters.

---

if you liked it please consider liking, reblogging, following or sending me a message telling me how much (or how little :( ) you liked it. my praise kink ass thrives on notes. 

super cool kid taglist: 

@lady-anon-x​ @inlovewithbabygirl​ @username2002​  

[roboraindrop]

I'm getting my tooth pulled in about 2 hours and I'm so nervous 😭

In unrelated news tho, I am Thinking about Fonzie fjdjskshb he'd definitely be there to keep me from panicking (':

[therealvalkyrie]

please share the sakuatsu recs!!!

OHOHOOOO IT WOULD BE MY ABSOLUTE PLEASURE, MY FRIEND!!

please make sure to read the tags on each fic before reading, to make sure you're a-okay with what you're getting yourself into. consume media responsibly!!

without further ado, and in no particular order~

again, like this by noodletastic - 55k, completed series, mainly fluff

"when nationals don't go their way in their third year, atsumu and sakusa distract themselves with each other. and it keeps happening."

I'm actually currently rereading this one, because I adore the way they fall in love so easily but with that all-consuming tension and inexplicable need for each other. so exquisitely well written, it'll absolutely knock your socks off, and I lovelove the way atsumu and osamu's relationship is written. speaking of which! there's a Osamu/Suna companion piece that runs parallel, timeline-wise, and it's just such a cool thing to see how it builds upon and complements the world the author's built while telling a different, but intertwined, story.

The Story of Us by thesweetestnerd - 98k, completed series, heavy on the angst

"Atsumu has spent the last year falling in love with Sakusa Kiyoomi, but it's a secret they've never told anybody else. When a car accident snatches Omi's memories from the past two years away, Atsumu is left as the only one in the world who ever knew their relationship existed."

This is one of those stories that stays with you for days and weeks after you put it down, it's just that heartbreaking and healing at the same time. The way it discusses love and truth and identity is so raw and real, and ugh I cried real tears!!! I also love how the twins' relationship is written here, and extra points for the TS title;) I won't say more because I don't want to spoil anything, but if you do read it please lmk so we can scream about it together~

a fist amidst the hands by noodletastic - 13k words, oneshot

"Lottery nights ensure bad matches. It’s a free-for-all. It's Atsumu's favorite kind of night."

Boxer!AU sakuatsu, need I say more?? Unbelievably hot and in-character, and mad props to the author for writing the fighting so descriptively and compellingly. also all your favs are there, at least in the background. Some very gratifying descriptions of Ushiwaka and Oikawa and Bokkun, it'll make ya sweat:P Also has some fantastic companion art!!

A Liar's Truth by internetpistol - 49k, completed series, angst and fluff

"In which Sakusa Kiyoomi is raised to believe that gay people go to hell but then takes one look at Miya Atsumu and thinks, then why the hell did God make them so fucking hot?"

This fic is one of the most honest descriptions of living in a homophobic space and having to hide yourself. A really, really raw depiction of blame and taking accountability, both between Sakusa and Atsumu, and Sakusa and his parents. Seriously, I cried, it's a very cathartic read, and though there is a lot of angst, you know the happy outcome right from the beginning.

Stuck in the Sunshine by thesweetestnerd - 85k, completed series, idiot(s) to lovers

"Atsumu has a list of ‘firsts’. Kiyoomi offers to help him with it."

This time, Sakusa's the idiot who convinces himself that it would be beneficial to both Atsumu and the Jackals for him to take Atsumu's virginity. Shenanigans (and feelings) ensue. This is the most recent sakuatsu piece I read, and actually just got a new bonus chapter that I am very excited to sit down with tonight!! I really, really love Sakusa's characterization in this one, and we get to see a lot of his relationship with his cousin Komori, who made me giggle like a madwoman the whole time teehehee~

a list of things sakusa kiyoomi hates by BrenH - 7k words, oneshot, enemies to friends to lovers

"The one where Osamu suggests Atsumu keep a notebook to track all the things Sakusa hates that he does, and he takes it further than he means to."

All of these stories share the theme of Atsumu being a genius at reading when Sakusa's uncomfortable, and caring enough to adjust to him, but this's the one that does it the most explicitly. It's very cute, and details how I think Sakuatsu would figure each other out in a weird little way that's all theirs. I just love to watch the fall in love, ya know?? Makes my little heart go pitter patter~

and, last but certainly not least, terminal curiosity by favspacetwink and moonlumie, which is the fic that started it all (at least for me;)). you can read all about it on cee's post, which basically says everything that I would.

[yanderefnaf]

Rules + Masterlist

hi! im super super super hyperfixated on fnaf rn. (+++fnaf vhs tapes...) this is just a sideblog where i'll write fnaf x reader stories (usually yandere cuz yandere is my jam).

this is all purely fiction. none of what is written here should influence anything done in real life. irl yanderes aren't cool.

please read this post before sending a request!! feel free to shoot an ask if you have questions/need anything clarified

Rules + other info.

Request status: open

I don't write explicit NSFW (smut)

If I'm writing romantic scenarios for the first game's animatronics, they will be regular animatronics and not possessed.

This should go without saying, but I do NOT write incest or pedophilia.

I'm a pretty slow writer so requests may take a while

I will write poly (character x reader x character) just please specify so i dont do the characters seperately!

I automatically tw yandere and other triggering topics by default, but if you need anything specific tagged just lmk, i dont mind

I'm a really slow writer, and sometimes I just don't feel like writing for a while, so requests might take a while to answer

Reader is usually written as gender neutral, and physical features are left vague so that anybody can read them

I won't write for any characters from fangames or characters that are exclusively in the novels/comics.

I don't write yandere readers

Both platonic and romantic requests are okay! again just specify which you'd like

Headcanons are mainly what I like to write, but oneshots are always okay! And also if you wanna just throw an idea my way and listen to me ramble about it that's cool too :)

Please try to be as specific as possible when sending a request. I'm kind of an idiot tbh and I may interpret your request wrong. Sorry in advance!

Masterlist

yandere daycare attendant headcanons

yandere ghost michael afton headcanons

[chuckbass-love]

Prompt: Teen Chris pregnancy scare evans fam included

Hi love, i’m sorry that you’ve waited so long for this and i also hope that it’s worth the wait...

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

A/N: This is set with Chris and Reader BOTH being 18. I also tried my hardest to make this angsty but come on, it’s Chris. No way would he be a dick about it, he’s definitely the type to reassure and make reader feel better. So it’s cute and fluffy instead. Please give feedback if you can, i’d love to hear everyones thoughts. 

Pairing: Young!Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Virginity loss, mentions of teen pregnancy and a sprinkle of fluff. No real warnings i guess.

Word Count: 1,703

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @forchrisevans go check them out❤️

Almost

When you first started dating, Chris was very much the one to initiate going steady and waiting for sex. He never wanted you to feel pressure to put out for him and since he was a virgin too, you agreed to wait together. Until you felt certain that the time was right.

And now here you are, 18 years old. Making out with your boyfriend of almost 2 years in his bedroom, door open of course. Lisa was very calm and relaxed with you being here but she wanted to be able to monitor the situation.

Without saying another word, the make out session came to an abrupt end once he’d laid you down on his bed.

“Can you just excuse me for a second?” he asks, cheeks flushed and hands shaky. You nod your head in agreement and soon enough he shoots out of the door, footsteps loud as he rushes down the stairs.

But what you don’t know is he’s actually about to ask his mom if the door can be closed, just this once.

“Why honey?” she plays dumb but secretly she knows. He’s 18, a grown up technically and it’s time. Clearly.

“Mom, me and Y/N are... you know?” he nods his head towards the stair case as he speaks, hoping she’ll catch on which of course she does.

“I see, do you have protection?” 

If his cheeks weren’t the perfect shade of pink before, they certainly are now. All thanks to mother.

“Mom” he hisses in embarrassment.

“Son, i want you to know that this is nothing to be ashamed of, everyone experiences this” 

“I have protection” his confirmation is enough for her to give him a reassuring smile and a nod before he walks away, heading back up where you are. He shuts the door behind him and you can’t help but furrow your brows.

“What are you doing?” you ask with your lips curling up into a smile but he just turns to face you, making his way to the bed and kneeling between your now open legs.

A couple of kisses are pressed to the back of your hands before he lowers his head to kiss your stomach whilst looking up at you with of pure adoration in his eyes.

And in this moment, you truly feel like the luckiest girl alive. Being loved by him is like being stuck in a constant free fall, every day is like living in heaven and every moment too (even the bad ones).

It’s strange how you’ve managed to find your soul mate at such a young age but you know that you’re glad it’s happened because being with him is what true happiness is.

Once his face is inches from yours, you pull him closer, attacking his lips with pure hunger and passion “i want you now” you whisper softly but his silence soon takes away from how you’re feeling. 

Does he not want this?

“What’s wrong?” you ask, voice laced with worry and confusion.

“Nothing, it’s just I want you too but i want you to be sure that you want this. Because you know we don’t have to do-”

“Chris, i want this. I want you” you cup his face, either side, forehead pressed to his.  

You both sit up and start to undress, your eyes meeting occasionally. The little giggle that leaves your mouth as he gets on top of you has him melting inside, you’re everything to him.

The two of you put the condom on together being as his hands are quite shaky and once it’s on, your eyes meet “you ready?” 

“I’m ready”

----------------------------------

It’s been a week since you and Chris had sex and you gotta say, you feel like it’s strengthened you as a couple. You feel different, almost as if you’re glowing and you see a change in him too. 

But the only downside to your joy, sickness. You’ve been feeling very nauseous although you keep brushing it off as you seriously doubt it’s anything serious.

----------------------------------

It’s been two weeks since you started feeling nauseous and now you’ve lost count how many times you’ve been sick, you informed Chris about it but the two of you soon put any worries to bed. You used protection and besides you’re on the pill. It’s not pregnancy, it can’t be.

That didn’t stop you getting a test though. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

As soon as you informed Chris of your purchase, he rushed over to your place instantly, saying how he refuses to let you do this alone and if you need peace of mind then who is he to stop you?

You do the test and then join him on the bed to wait for the results.

“Are you okay?” he asks, taking your hand in his and bringing it to his mouth to kiss. 

“I’m okay. Are you?” lies. All lies. You’re petrified, so much so that you can feel the tears on the edge of falling from your drowned eyes.

“Well you know, it isn’t exactly how i imagined the after math of losing my virginity to look like but i’m good. Whatever happens now, we’ll face it together” despite Chris saying all of this, he’s even beginning to feel terrified. At first he thought it was just for your peace of mine but now it’s for his too.

“Is it time yet?” you nudge him, looking towards his watch for him to check and the second he nods, you feel your stomach drop with dread and fear.

You don’t want to be a teen mom, you’re not ready for it. 

1) You’re too immature for it

2) You can’t see kids being on your agenda for at least a good 7/8 years, you have big dreams of college and then eventually a career in fashion and design. How will that happen if you have a kid?

Okay, enough panicking. Time to see the results.

You turn the stick over to see it’s negative and the deep breath you both let out, one of relief, that’s for sure.

“Oh thank god”

The way you practically jump into his arms out of pure happiness and joy for the results has him laughing way too loud, thankfully you love his loud laugh and you can’t wait for many more years to come listening to it. Many more years of sex that’s not stressful, sex where you’ll both be extra careful, every single time.

“Now what?” you look up at him as you start getting ready to go to his place for the night. Not your first time staying since Lisa adores you but for some reason you’re nervous this time around. Maybe because you just had a pregnancy scare with her son. You hope she doesn’t yell at you both.

“My place?”

“Of course”

Once you’re ready to stay the night, you head to his house, entering with a heart beat that you’re certain can be heard by everyone that comes near you.

“Ma” he yells out, shutting the door behind you and poking his head into the lounge but of course, his mom can always be found in the kitchen. She’s a dynamite cook so it makes sense.

“Kitchen” 

He takes your hand, leading the way and before you know it, you’re face to face. Lisa goes in for a hug, squeezing you tight and pretty much complimenting everything about you before reprimanding Chris for not complimenting you. See, she really does adore you.

“Ma, we have something to talk to you about” he says through gritted teeth, she’s going to kill him. Maybe she’ll kill you too, who knows at this point. It’s anybody’s guess.

“What is it son?” confusion all over her face as she takes a seat opposite you at the dining table.

“Well, as you know. Me and Y/N have recently had sex” he starts, noticing how formal he’s speaking and you can’t help but cringe at the word sex. If that doesn’t scream immature then what does? “So Y/N was feeling very nauseous recently and-” before he can even finish, Lisa stands up. 

“I swear Christopher Robert Evans if she is pregnant” she walks round to your side of the table, raising her hand to smack him on the back of his head but he soon stops it.

“Ma, relax, relax. The test was negative” he holds his hands up in surrender to avoid an ass whooping most likely.

“How careful are you both when having sex?”

Again, you cringe before clearing your throat to speak “we used a condom plus i’m on birth control” 

She sighs “make sure you’re being extra careful every time guys. I don’t want to sound like a broken record but i can’t stress enough how much responsibility being a parent involves. And to do it young, it takes a lot out of you”

She’s right, you two clearly weren’t careful enough. This is definitely a lesson learned.

“Doesn’t mean i’m gonna quit bothering you though. You need to be safe during sex”

“Okay, ma, i know”

“Clearly not or you wouldn’t have had this scare”

“I’m sure your mom is just concerned, that’s all” you assure him and he turns to you, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to your forehead before your cheek and then your lips.

“I love you”

“I love you too”

“Now that we’ve got that lecture over with, how does, chicken and vegetables sound for dinner?”

“Sounds amazing Lisa” you give her a hug before rolling up your sleeves and helping her with the rest of the prep, all while Chris unloads your stuff into his room for tonight.

------------------------------

General Tags: @deadlymistress24 @coffeebooksandfandom @chris-butt @holtzkinnon @mychemicalimagines @llamadelreyx @haus-of-bitch-talk @buckstaybucky @thewinchestergirl1208 @chrissquares @patzammit @dummiesshort @cevans-fics @americasass91 @toni9 @aaliferouss @bradfordmyworld @thereisa8ella @rockyrogers @yassspose @randomsevans @evansphnx12

Just Chris & His Characters Tags: @onetwo3000 @persephonequeenofthedead @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @rynabarnesrogers @princess-evans-addict @stxvercgersslut @chris-evanslover @bval-1 @thejemersoninferno @denisemarieangelina @janeyboo 

LMK if you want to be added to my tag list.

Feedback is welcome and encourage...

[loversandantiheroes]

In the event that I do reblog horror ho content, as I do sometimes with Ravenous and whatnot, please be advised I will tag as horror with additional tags for blood and gore respectively. If anybody needs anything more specific than this, please gimme a shout.

(Also lmk what the etiquette is on “cw” vs “tw” these days)

[c3lloph4ne]

･ﾟ * 𝑐3𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑝ℎ4𝑛𝑒 * ﾟ･

mareena. she/they. fifteen. indigenous. bi.

aquarius sun, taurus moon, sagittarius rising.

i read a lot of fics. and only a few books cuz im kinda dumb. and i read rlly slow not lying, it took me an entire year to finish the secret history bc i thought it was boring. but !! anyways if u wanna talk abt BOOKS or FICS i am down. i read basically anything trending on book tok.

c3lloph4ne has 31 followers <4 cries. i am mutuals with all of u ily.

currently playing – p power by gunna ft. drake (ugly ahh song 😭)

i tag things that need a tw and all that but if you would like me to tag anything else lmk. also block #mareena is screaming rn if you don't want to see me talk abt my personal life. dw it's not like super in depth or anything lol i am just ranting about (¿?) work and such idk man. (i never ended up using this tag just bc i don't vent a lot lmao)

i would like to avoid talking about nsfw topics on this blog, so with that being said please refrain from sending me anything like that.

dni – under fifteen, over twenty one, republican, homophobic, transphobic, islamophobic, ableist, racist, antisemitic, anti-indigenous, likes lana del rey as a person (just her music is fine), sends hate on anon, or body shames in any way.

anybody else is welcome here <3

[stariwrites]

Heirloom Series Chapter One: Sticks Are NOT Friends

Author’s Note: Reblogs are appreciated and if you like it pls send an ask or lmk in the comments it helps me gain momentum to write!!!

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI 18+  

Warnings: I may be wrong about the mages and everything so please keep that in mind other than that there’s nothing, as a heads up the reader is aged 18 and older but one person calls them kid. Reader is also comedic relief/has side character energy but is the main character.

Word Count: 2.4K

taglist: @chaos-night @oilivia @hoefornanami @yixxes (send an ask or DM if you want to be tagged)

You heard legends of a beast lurking out in the forest of Dimrock. Some say it was as big as a village and as tall as a valley while others said it was the size of an entire kingdom. Its vicious wings could cut down trees just from the creature passing by. They said its roar could cause an earthquake several kingdoms over. Legend had it that it captured the King of Dimrock Enj-

“I get the gist, okay? The beast took King Enji’s son and hasn’t been seen since, can I go now?” You asked, slamming the book closed. 

The rest of your peers faced you with tired eyes at your outburst. You couldn’t care less, you had more important things to do than hear the story of Touya Todoroki and how Enji rose to power. If you had to sit down for one more discussion on it you swore you’d lose your mind.

“Leave it to them,” one of them whispered. “They can’t even listen to our history without getting antsy.” You rolled your eyes. 

History, you scowled at that word. It was just a tale, anybody could have made it up. 

Ev, your instructor and you cringed at the thought, guardian let out a long suffering sigh. “If you’re going to be a knight you have to learn this it will prepare you-”

You scoffed, cutting her off completely. “Prepare me for what?! Dying at the hands of gods knows what just because the king wants to enact revenge?” 

Hushed whispers began to fall over the room. You could vaguely make out an oh here we go, but you weren’t sure. It didn’t matter how many times the two of you argued, nothing was ever resolved. You watched Ev’s eyes flash red before she took a deep breath, steadying herself. A sharp smile crossed onto her face.

“And what,” she said slowly, dragging out every syllable she could. “Do you suggest we do about it?”

You swallowed and stood from your seat. “I suggest,” you emphasized. “That we investigate what really happened. There has to be a reason why the beast took Touya. I’ve explored forest after forest and have come across vicious creatures but most of them have been honorable. If we find him who knows maybe we can find the others-”

She stepped closer to you, the windows in the classroom blowing open while her eyes began to morph to red. “That’s enough out of you.” She bellowed, the rest of your peers flinched at the sound and gestured to cover their ears, but you refused to move. She didn’t scare you. Both of you exchanged glares for what felt like an eternity but was only a few seconds. No one dared to breathe.

“Get out,” she snarled without taking her eyes off you. “All of you.” They didn’t need to be told twice. Everybody quickly rose from their seats and grabbed the books they needed before heading out of the room. Leaving the two of you.

Once the door was closed Ev dropped her guard and let out a sigh. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.” She said, You stared down at the table for a long moment waiting for her to continue.

“You don’t use a sword, you’re atrocious at hand to hand combat, you miss lessons and after everything you refuse to listen to me.” Walking back to her desk she turned to face you. “Is there anything you’re good at?”

“Not listening, I guess.” You grumbled underneath your breath. Every argument you had turned into this. It wasn’t necessarily a lecture or a life lesson. You didn’t have a name for it yet, but you always dreaded them. Especially considering the fact that you didn’t want to be a knight in the first place.

“Look, I understand your frustration.”

She didn’t.

“And I want to say I’ve been pretty fair in what I’ve let you get away with.” 

She wasn’t. 

“After your parents die-,” 

“Went missing,” you cut in. Your fists were clenched by your sides. She glared for a brief moment before her face went back to being calm. You could still sense her irritation.

“Went missing,” she corrected as she folded her hands on top of her desk. “They told me to protect you and I swore I always would, but if you keep having these outbursts it will get out to the castle guards and they’ll take you. Is that what you want? To be taken to the dungeon?”

You had to resist the urge to say any place is better than here, instead you opted for a reluctant shake of your head. 

“Good,” her voice was back to sounding smooth, almost silky. It was no wonder everybody was comfortable around Ev, but you only scowled. You caught a brief glance of the outside while you tapped your foot against the wood. You needed to leave, to be out where you could at least do something.

She studied you for a long moment before ultimately gesturing to the door. “Go on,” she said, clearly defeated. You picked up your satchel and strung it over your head, making your way to the door. 

“Don’t forget tomorrow somebody special is visiting. You need to be on your best behavior which means,” you waved her off.

“Yeah yeah, best behavior. You’ve got it Ev, I’ll be up early waiting for them. You’ll see.” With that you were out the door.

She looked down at her talons, a pained expression fell onto her face. “I hope so,” she whispered into the empty room. “I truly hope so.”

                            ⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

You weaved in and out of people’s way receiving curses, but you paid it no mind. The town was bustling about, the sound of metal clanging filled your ears. You were going to walk past the blacksmith when a blur of red passed your face. Wheeling yourself around you looked everywhere to see where it came from only to find no leads. 

You huffed and continued down the stairs towards the woods until laughter echoed off the cobblestone wall of the buildings. Footsteps rang out as well as a series of voices.

“Come on!” One of them called. “We’re going to be late.” 

You furrowed your brows, late? Late for what? As soon as the question came to you, you realized what they meant. You sprinted towards the voices passing Sunshade. The diner was one of the few that were open all night. The sign was rickety and one hit away from falling off its hinges. It had the barest hint of a sun on it and had to be repainted, that was for certain.

Following the noise it led you uphill. Once you reached the top your eyes widened. There, a couple yards beyond you were the people you followed. How did they get so far ahead, you thought only to watch them disappear into thin air. A small smile cracked onto your lips. Mages. A warm breeze encased you at that moment sending the fresh smell of grass to flood your nostrils. You would do that soon. One day you’d become a mage. 

You wanted to be one ever since you were younger. In this kingdom only they could be travelers or poets or anything they wanted to be. The rest were either picked up to be knights or follow in their parents footsteps and if they were knights it was safe to assume you, yourself, would become a knight. You scowled at that thought, whoever made that a rule was a person you had some choice words for. 

Snapping out of your daze, you continued on your way to the edge of the town. The path was wide, fallen leaves blanketed the ground while the roots of trees twisted and tangled together in intricate knots. You inhaled the smell of the outside happily. 

This was home, or about as much as you felt. No training, no stories and no responsibilities. Here, you could be whatever you want. You walked up hills and passed the small clearing of water to get to your secret place. A tree stood in the center of a hill creating a forked path while the Sun basked it in a soft glow. Without hesitation, you laid your back against it and took in the warmth on your face. 

The fresh spring air blew around you almost as if it was a blanket. You let your eyes flutter closed for a second, you wished you could stay there forever. ⋆﹥

                             ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

You woke to the sound of twigs snapping. Your mind still in a fog, you took in your surroundings for a second before jolting awake. Darkness had replaced the sunlight causing your stomach to sink. You shouldn’t have fallen asleep. The twigs snapped in each direction causing you to whirl your head around. You didn’t dare move. Maybe it was a bunny, you silently hoped only to hear more twigs snap, getting closer towards you. Maybe it was a lot of bunnies.

Ice froze your blood as you took in the small ball of light floating through the air. Not bunnies, that was for certain.  Quickly, you ducked your head as it danced around the trees. You furrowed your brows watching the light dance in the sky. It had to be a fireball, but it didn’t look like any of the ones you were forced to study. This one was purple and left a black shadow in its wake. What kind of mage-your heart stopped. A dark mage. It belonged to a dark mage, but why would they come here?

“Did you find it?” A man barked out causing you to flinch. From what you could make out he wore a dark cloak that blew in the harsh wind, all the warmth from before had been drained. You shivered against the cold regretting not bringing a coat.

“No sir,” another voice said, it was a woman this time. She made herself known in front of the man. This isn’t good. If there were two there was a good chance more were hiding in the shadows. One thing you knew for certain was that you had to leave. 

A loud cackle echoed in the forest, you flinched at the noise. “You do realize he needs it in order to enact his plan, right?”

Slowly, you lifted one of your legs into a crouch silently praying you wouldn’t break a stick and alert them of your presence. They were still talking, but it was put into the back of your mind as you focused on moving your other leg. You needed to warn the village somehow.

“We’re aware of that sir, but there’s no sign of the book anywhere.”

You furrowed your brows, halting your movements. Book? What book?

“Well it better be here somewhere, All for One doesn’t want us to return empty handed.”

Your body froze, there’s no way you could’ve heard that right. He died years ago. 

Now was the moment you knew you needed to get out of there and warn your village. This was beyond you. You searched around you for an out. You couldn’t go back the way you came that was for certain considering they were blocking that path. Dark mages were thought to be wiped out ages ago, there was no telling what techniques they mastered or how skilled they were. You clenched your jaw. Great, just great.

It wasn’t until you turned to the side that you saw it; an escape route. That was it! You could slide down the hill and take the long way back. The hill was mostly dirt and you could use the tree routes as a means to get down. Genius! One of the gods was looking out for you!

Apparently the gods weren’t looking out for you.

As soon as you took a step towards the hill a stick cracked under your shoe. You froze, silently hoping they didn’t hear.

“What the hell was that?!”

You cringed. 

Fuck. 

Maybe they’d think you were a deer and just ignore it. Yeah, that’s it. You’re a deer, a harmless little deer and-

Before you could finish what you hoped was the power of suggestion a fireball was thrown towards where you were hiding. Without thinking about it you jumped towards the hill with a shriek. 

You breathed heavily, the world spinning even though you stopped. You saw three of the people at the top of the hill. 

“A kid?” One of them questioned. 

Well, so much for stealth.

“Oh, uh hello,” you waved with a sheepish smile. “Nice night isn’t it?”

You took a steady breath before rushing off in the direction. You heard the voices behind you, but you didn’t know what they said. You raced through thorns and branches, not even blinking as they scratched you, your only focus was on the path ahead and making it out of the forest. 

Close, that was way too close. You needed to find Ev, Ev would know what to do.

You were a couple feet away when it happened. Your body halted in mid air. You tried to move, to struggle out of the hold, but it was no use. Paralysis had its grip on you and it was one that wouldn’t let go. Your heart raced inside your chest. You were going to die and--you groaned. Oh Ev was so going to kill you for this. 

You felt yourself being dragged back towards the group. No, you had to get free, needed to get free. You couldn’t get caught, not now when you could save everybody’s lives.

“No no no no no!” you viciously kicked your legs, struggling in the magic’s hold but to no avail. The people in cloaks surrounded you, the purple of the magic encasing you was the only light you had. You could barely make out their faces until the person who you assumed was the leader took a step forward removing his hood.

A gasp escaped from your lips at the sight. His blonde hair glowed under the light while Lichtenberg figures ran down the side of his face. His red eyes held a level of bloodlust you didn’t believe was capable. He was taller than the others, bulkier too. His muscles almost seemed to bulge out of his body.

“Well well well,” his voice rumbled deep, cutting into a sharp laugh. If your blood wasn’t ice before it sure was now. A sinister smile fell onto his face, revealing yellow teeth that resembled fangs. 

“What do we have here?”