#if he wanted to educate couldnt he do it in a way that didn’t put all eyes on a vulnerable part of the population

[thenighttrain]

daily i hate m/tty crappy post, i hate him a million times more now.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Comic-con.”

You guys wanted something fluffier and lighthearted, so I took a suggestion from a group of the Discord server, and did this with it I hope you guys like, and thank you for the suggestions.  “Where are you taking me? And why am I wearing this?”

Adam frowned at her, “Don’t be such a party pooper, I took you to watch MMA last week, and now its my turn to pick the fun activity.”

Sunny held up the glowing weapon --of facsimile of a weapon--, “What is this called again.”

“It’s an energy sword, from a really REALLY old video game.”

“And what are you supposed to be.”

Adam turned to look at her, shaking his head in disappointment, “Sometimes, I am sad for your lack of pop culture education.”

“And whose fault is it for my lack of pop culture education?”

He tapped his chin, “I suppose that is true.” 

“To be fair the pop culture you subscribe to is like two thousand years old.” She looked him up and down. He was wearing a spacesuit and a jetpack. This might have been normal for him were it not for the painstaking hours that he had spent painting the thing and applying decals.

Where the standard issue UNSC space - suit ranged anywhere from white to silver to dark blue, this one was in a gaudy combination of white with green and purple highlights with a blue decal on the front embossed with the outline of stylized white wings. Under that, he had taken the time to dye one of the old undersuits purple, and was now wearing the hood to complete ‘the affect’

“Seriously though. What are You?”

He turned to look at her grinning and patted her on the shoulder, “Just wait.”

She sighed and did as told following him out of the underground parking lot and up into the sun. She threw her hand over her face as they came up into the sun, and when she withdrew her hand, she found herself surrounded by hundreds of humans all walking towards the same destination, and all of them were dressed, strangely… she couldn’t tell which ones for sure, because humans always seemed to dress strangely, but something bout this gave her the feeling that these ones were doing it on purpose..

At her side, Adam was grinning.

Following the line of people her eyes traced up to the large, and spacious building just up ahead. The walls were made out of metal and glass paneling, and across their surface scrolling scenes from movies and comic strips flashed.

Off to her side, a man in a blue and red suit, with a big yellow S on the front went floating past, his hover boots giving him the effect as if he were flying, red cape billowing out behind him.

Someone else to their side was walking a rather large brown dog towards the building. It had a teel collar and a couple of painted on black spots, while he was wearing a  green shirt and brown pants. He looked like he really needed a haircut.

Sunny tilted her head to better read the letters on the building before her.

J. HAIL CONVENTION HALL 

They were just outside the doors when someone ran up to them. THey looked younger, maybe in their teens, dressed with an elaborately colored wig, and strange colorful clothes, “Holy Shit! Your costumes are awesome, Can I get a picture?”

“Hell yeah.” Adam motioned the kid closer, pulling Sunny down beside them so the kid could grab a picture and then turn to look at Sunny, “How did you make it look so real. You look just like the Drev from that movie.” 

She stared at him before looking down at herself.

Adam laughed, “It looks real because it IS real.”

The kid stared at them in disbelief, “No way.”

“Yeah she's a real life actual alien.”

Eyes went even wider, I...w...wow.” 

Sunny shrugged and waved one of her arms to the kid as Adam dragged her further up the line.

“Here, hold out your hand.” She did as told and he wrapped a small plastic bracelet around her wrist. The letters on the band read VIP

Walking over to the doors they were stopped by a group of people holding up their hands. One of them walked around them, and pointed at Adam’s jetpack, “YOu have a licence for that?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” 

He reached into one of the pockets on his suit and pulled it out to show them. THey looked it over and then nodded, and he grinned. Tey read off some rules before they were suddenly interrupted.

Voices behind them, and Sunny turned.

A group of people walked up, one of them was dressed like a cowboy with a yellow shirt and blue pants, with a brown hat.

Another human in a blow up dinosaur costume pointed at Adam’s uniform,

“And what does that button do.”

Adam grinned, and Sunny watched him with a fond shake of her head as he approached them, putting on some sort of character voice.

“Ill show you.” Looking around to make sure that everyone was clear, he deployed the wings of the jetpack, striped in red and white.

The group oohed and ahhed.

THe cowboy moved forward, “Oh what, these are plastic, he can’t fly.”

“They are a trillium carbonic alloy and I CAN fly.”

“No you can’t”

“Yes I can.”

“Can’t.”

“CAN.”

“Can’t Can’t Can’t.”

“I could fly around this convention center with my eyes closed.”

Sunny just stood there watching them nervously shifting back and forth. She had a feeling that they were arguing, but it also felt very scripted, though how it could be scripted, she didn’t know. They had never seen these people as far as she was concerned.

The other man moved very close, “Ok then my light beer, prove it.”

“Alright then, I will.”

He held out his hands voice growing a bit more serious as he did, “Everyone step back.”

They did as told, and the cowboy was smiling now instead of frowning.

“Adam, is this legal.” Sunny wondered.

He turned to look at her, “Yes, the convention center has its own airspace just for this. I had to sign a waver.” He turned back to the others and ignited the engin on the jetpack kicking off the ground.

His flight was far more controlled than his original flight, and he flew in a fast circle around the area, dropping in with a flip to land before them to the cheering of an amassed crowd.

He pointed at the cowboy, “CAN.”

“That wasn’t flying, that was falling with style.” The man protested though he was grinning even as he walked over to take a picture with Adam.

“Pretty sure that made my day, your costume is awesome. Is this a real spacesuit.”

“You bet it is.”

“Where did you get your hands on one.”

“Oh I have my sources. Did you make your costume?”

“Sewed it myself. The hat and boots I bought though.”

They parted ways with Adam’s new friend and stepped inside the convention center scanning their bracelets as they went in.

“Welcome, Sunny to the biggest nerd convention ever conceived of by man...ComicCon.”

She turned in a wide circle eyes wide at thousands of booths, thousands of people all talking and laughing. He grabbed her hand and dragged hr further inside, “IF your good, I’ll buy you a sword.”

“Nerds want swords?”

He raised an eyebrow at her, “Of course nerds want swords. Here, lets start over there and movie this way, through the art section first.”

Sunny did as told, following after him.

She never knew Adam being one to spend a lot of money, he had no reason too, but after the first ten minutes she figured out that he was a little bit of a spender when it came to nerdy things. Posters and drawings and other related items.

However, she was surprised to find that they did have leather workers and blacksmiths as they were called, and she did…. In fact… get herself a sword which she recognized from the lord of the rings movie he had made her watch. It was a pretty good sword all things considered as if whoever made it actually knew how to make swords.

They were coming around a corner when they almost ran into another group of people. Adam dropped one of his bags and the other reached down to pick it up. When he stood, Sunny's eyes widened. Blond hair green eyes and an eyepatch, “Sweet Costume!”

She shook herself thinking she had bumped her head or something and was seeing double, but no, when she looked closer she realised that this person couldnt have been more than fifteen or sixteen…. And dressed like Adam.

She looked over at Adam who was standing mouth open eyes wide.

“Can I get a picture!”

Sunny just nodded her head as the kid jumped over next to her and had his friend take it before running off yelling back at her about her amazing costume.

Adam turned to look at Sunny, “Did I just>”

“I think you did.”

He shook himself, “Wow.”

She nodded 

After that it started happening more and more. 

Adam was everywhere, in all stages of life. They had recreated his uniforms, his flight suits, his space suits. They brought their dogs. There were even gender bent versions of him, blond women wearing eyepatches, brown jackets and jeans making it very clear who they were .

It got even more weird when Sunny started seeing herself.

Small children in costumes made of foam.

People wearing onesies that sort of looked like her, and even one costume that had a woman on stilts for her legs, and a complex system of homemade mechanics to allow her to move around.

Adam stood there mouth open just staring at them.

Sunny laughed at the irony.

He was here as a guest, and no one knew.

If only they had any idea that the real deal was here and dressed like a space ranger from a two thousand year old cartoon.

Sunny tilted her head listening to the announcements which said there would be a “Adam Vir look alike contest going on on the other side of the convention.

She turned to look at Adam and they  both began to laugh hysterically. She grabbed his arm. We have to see this.

They wandered over just as the others were filtering in. And there were TONS of them, all dressed like Adam. One stopped next to him, spiky blond hair, clearly dyed for the occasion, wearing a flight suit and aviators.

Adam Tried to avoid eye contact with anyone as they sat down to watch, however no one recognized him, not even close.

They sat, watching the judging.

An adorable little boy with blond hair and a NASA T-shirt won for the younger age bracket.

The jumpsuit wearing kid to their right won for his teenage years.

At the end it was up between two men, one in casual wearing and one in a uniform. The one wearing the uniform had a similar lopsided grin as Adam and she would have chosen him as a dead ringer, and was almost put off when they chose the other man, who was, on the other hand, roguishly handsome.

She snorted, “He looks nothing like you.”

“But he does look like Keith Jenning who played me, so I guess people sort of conflate us as being the same person.”

“This is so unreal.”

They laughed again as they walked away sunny pointing out he probably would have lost the contest if he had tried to enter, and he laughed along with her.

THey were perusing through a booth with a bunch of old vintage movies when another announcement came over the intercom, saying that the cast of Adam’s movie was going to be speaking.”

Adam’s eyes widened, and together they made their way wanting to see what all the fuss was about. There were hundreds of people packed into the large room, and they were only able to get space just along one wall.

Up at the table, he recognized Keith Jenning, Rita. Ortiz, and Adler Handen, the voice actor for Krill and the woman who played Sunny.

Adam leaned back against the wall to watch.

Keith didn’t look anything like Adam at this moment, his hair back to brown like it usually was.

Hands raised in the crowd as questions were shot out, “What was the hardest part of playing Adam Vir?”

Keith laughed and then paused, “I think it might have been the eyepatch. I stubbed my toe like…. What was it Rita, we kept track on set.”

“About 456 times during the course of filming.” She added, and the group of them laughed.

“How accurate is the story to what actually happened?” Someone called out

Adler Handen leaned forward, “You know it was actually pretty accurate because Adam Vir was actually consulting through the whole process, though I think it is glammed up to make him look maybe a little more….”

“Poised.” Rita added, “Ellis gave him a bit of an action hero spin.”

“What is he actually like?”

Keith smiled as did Rita, “He’s hilarious, and kind, and a bit of a clutz I would say.”

Rita laughed, “That is one part of the movie that is inaccurate. I think they should have put it in, but he was like the last man to step onto Proxima B, and when he did he says he actually fell out of the shuttle and landed on his face.”

There was laughter from the crowd.

“Honestly a really modest guy all told.

“He has the personality of a golden retriever…. In a good way obviously.” Rita said

Keith had stood up from his palace at the table and was looking around the crowd for more questions, when his eyes fell on Adam and Sunny not a few rows away leaning against the wall.

The recognition was instantaneous, despite them not having seen for a long time. He pointed his eyes wide, “Adam…. Adam is that you. Sunny?”

The entire crowd turned and thousands of eyes fell on them.

Adam was stuck like a deer in the headlights hands held up.

“No way It IS YOU. Someone grab a chair and get him up here.” 

Rita stood in her seat and waved.

Now people were standing to get a good look at them as two security people motioned them up.

Adam was bright red in the face as he was pushed to come on stage. The people looked confused, but when Adam pulled off his hood, and pulled on his eyepatch the entire convention center began cheering.

“Yeah give the man a round of applause.” Keith said pulling out a chair for him to sit on while Rita did the same for Sunny.

Adam shifted awkwardly in his seat.

“Nice costume, is that from Toy story?”

Adam shrugged, ‘Yeah, or the Tv show I guess.”

Someone hurried over with another microphone as the crowd below continued to babble and point.

Keith leaned forward, “Did I mention he was a raging nerd. Did you wear the costume to hide or….”

Adam shook his head, “No, I've been coming to the convention since I was a kid.”

There was cheering in the crowd.

Hands were raised high into the air for questions, and Adam blinked a bit red in the face still.

“Is it true what they said about Proxima B?”

Adam smiled, “uh yeah I fell flat on my face, right out the door. You see the movie had a ramp, but a ot of our ships don’t have ramps, they have doors because it would kind of be…. Impractical to have a whole ramp opening up into an airlock. So instead it had a door and stairs. And I got so excited that I missed the second stair and just fell.

“How accurate is the rest of the movie?”

He shrugged, still blushing, “They did make me look a little more… heroic, than I actually am. I mean there is a little known fact among members of the UNSC that doing a warp without a warp dampener like we did on the Enterprise was…. How shall we say… extremely hard on the body. About fifty percent of the men on the bridge peed themselves and passed out.”

There was laugher from the crowd.

“Were you part of the fifty percent?”

He snorted, “ I was nineteen of COURSE I was part of the fifty percent. Captain Kelly had a bladder of Iron though.”

More laughter.

“And when it came to meeting with aliens for the first time, I was so excited that I ran after them right….. Well as it turns out, to the aliens it looked really, really bad. Like they thought I was going to eat them.” More laughter, “We are still trying to repair human/Bran relations five years later because of me.”

More questions.

“What is your funniest story, something that didn’t appear in the movie?”

Adam had to think about it for a minute, “Did  I ever tell you about the first time we met Iotins or the Celzex.”

Cheering in the crowd,.

“Ok ok, so The one thing you need to know about Iotins is that they smell good, and I don’t mean your girl’s perfume good, I mean like continental breakfast with bacon and eggs and potatoes and I don’t know what else.” Sunny smiled as she listened to the sound of the crowd’s amusement, “This is the kind of smell that turns you into one of pavlov’s Dogs. Drooling all over yourself stomach grumbling the whole nine. So when we met them for the first time, it was during a GA convention and my men hadn’t eaten since breakfast. It was so bad, I drooled all over my uniform and we scared the Iotin council half to death.”

He smiled as the crowd encouraged him into more stories.

“Then of course there is the Celzex, a very war-like race, very honor bound and very easy to offend. And yet they are about a foot tall rainbow colored, fluffy and with  adorable pig ears. These guys were designed to be cuddled, and yet, not one human has ever done it for fear of pissing them off since they have weapons that could glass our entire planet.”

He was Animated as he told his stories, and the crowd was animated with him

“Sunny, i have a question.” She lifted her head in surprise, “Is it true you grew up in a stone hut/”

She hummed deep in her chest, “Yes, where else would I have grown up.”

“So you didn’t have electricity?”

She shook her head, “No, why would we need it?”

She answered a few more questions.

And then one young man stood.

“So, I was wondering, you supported the LFIL during their protests.”

Adam shifted nervously in his seat, “I did.”

“And it’s because of you that they are in a probationary state of legality.”

“Yes.”

.”“So I was wondering, considering all that and considering your relationship with Sunny. Have you tow ever thought about dating.” Adam blanched white and you could have heard a pin drop.

Sunny glanced quickly over at adam. A part of her really wanted him to admit it to people, but another part of her-- the bigger part-- knew that doing it here in front of thousands of people would be a disaster. He opened his mouth to stammer out a question but Sunny leaned forward towards her mic.

“You misunderstand Drev courting customs. He would have to be able to beat me in a fight first.

Factions of the room muttered, and Sunny quickly moved the conversation on to more Funny stories.

Adam turned his head towards her with a look of relief.

With her head turned form the cameras she gave him a brief wink before turning back.

They didn’t exactly get to see the rest of the convention as they were waylaid by people wanting autographs and to talk to him. He of course was good natured and answered all their questions with a smile and gave pictures with enthusiasm.

She smiled

He was kind like that.

Thought some worries gnawed at the back of her mind.

People were beginning to suspect, and that could be a big problem for Adam.

[albino-whumpee]

An old thing 3

First Continued from here

Look, I´m embarrassed of how I came up with something as fucked up as this. I´m very sorry to the people who read the first version of this and I do hope you´re doing ok. It´s never my intention or objective to make anyone feel wrong with the things I do. There´s a reason my art style is soft.  So I send anyone who felt uncomfortable about this, an apology.  However, I wanna believe I can share this under the “No matter how rough and dark, stories need to be told” And well. I failed to process not ALL parts of the story need to be told. So here´s the censored version of it.

CW// public humilliation, Degrading language, Non Con, Dub Con, NS*W at times, dehumanization, past CSA mentioned and threatened/implied, grooming, electrocution, along, slavery, human trafficking, forced breeding, blood, whump of minors, attempted murder, manhandling, muzzles, creepy and explosive whumpers, physical and emotional abuse.

Everything will be tagged and if there´s tags to be added, tell me please.

Five months later, Layo didnt wanna touch Roahn as he was disgusted to touch pregnant women. Roahn had a big bump already. A medic had come over and had done analysis to her. Apparently she was expecting twins. Two boys. Shy was handcuffed in the other side of the cell, but he couldnt decide to be happy or horrified. His master, Dánae, looked beyond pleased.

“What if we keep one? We can educate him as if he was ours. But we gotta make sure he knows his place. And maybe when he’s older we could use him”

Layo looked delighted by her plan.

“What about the other?” He had asked her.

Danae reflected, looking at no point in particular and then said with a stone cold face “we will sell him just after he doesn’t need his mother’s milk anymore”

Listening to that conversation were the medic and the two slaves. Roahn started sobbing. Quietly almost unheard.

And Shy jerked on his restraints. He had a muzzle on, restricting his talking. But his eyes showed rage.

“What? The doggy feels sad for being separated from his pup? Dont make me laugh, Shy” Layo grinned “ahh, well its just ironic for you right?” He started, Shy picking up, jerked aggressively. His muscles getting tense. “Your twin brother… I had my eyes on you for quite a while. Its a shame you were split” Layo sighed Shy stood up pulling on his restraints. Danae was amused by his reaction. Shy was, well, shy. He never showed that aggressive part of himself. And certainly, Roahn was the most amused of them.

“What were you called at the club? The two stars? Oh! The twin stars! always with your star painted on your cheek. you looked adorable. You were like 12?”

Shy stopped revolving. The stage name having an impact on him.

“Quite the performance between you two and other people” Layo laughed “Then you were sold. Alone. To that old man, what was his name? He raped you often didnt he? Before dying he told me you would scream your brothers name: Ivan.”

Shy was silent again. His legs shaking.

“Ivan and Dimitri. The twin stars. Lovely names for just two slaves born from another slave and sold to do exactly the same…” Layo paused dramatically, eyes on him. “You went full circle didnt you, Dimitri?”.

Shy/Dimitri had lost it. If there was one thing that pushed all his buttons was his past. He pulled on his chains, so much he shattered them.

Layo and Danae were just a feet away from the cell. So before the man could even react Dimitri had already grabbed his white hair.

Danae screamed and went to help his husband but he was faster and slammed his head in the floor. Danae took out a teaser and pinched Shy, who brutally convulsed on the ground.

“SHY!” Roahn yelled in her chair as the doctor held her down. Trying to convince her it was too dangerous. She looked at the man’s face as he shook his head in a no. “Ill take care of this lady” the doctor told her. She was surprised by his kindness.

The man went to stop Danae from shocking his slave any longer.

“Please miss Dourson! Stop it! Miss Dourson you’re going to kill him!” The man said grabbing her.

“Shut up!” She shoved him away, the teaser flying off her hands.

“My love…” Layo said with his bloody nose “stop it”

Danae pulled him to her not minding the blood on her dress. “Dear! He was trying to kill you!”

“Yes…he was…” Layo said putting his head backwards. When the bleeding stopped he added “I loved his face” the man spat “rage…Ah~ what an adorable expression from the pup” Danae wanted to make some sense enter his head but was stopped before that “Ill teach him a lesson Dánae, leave it to me” he said in a smirk.

-

Later that night Roahn was on their mat, stressed out about Shy. He had been taken by two men. Unconscious and limp. Her pleas fell in deaf ears.

She massaged her bump, trying to sooth her anxiety.

The door slammed and Shy walked in with bruises on his face and shackled. He was with Layo who didnt have the decency to cover his dick.

He threw him to the ground, Shy barely having time to put his hands in front.

Layo kicked him in the back making him fall for good. He sat above him and grabbed him by the collar choking him a bit.

“Never forget you’re mine, Shy. If you want to live of course” he said letting his head hit the ground. He stood up grabbing him by the arm and threw him back to the cell.

“Dont you dare try to take off the shackles woman. Or you will have his corpse instead”

The man said going away.

Roahn looked at his body, and understood what had happened in those hours.

“Sh- Dimitri…?” Roahn held his face. He gave her a sad look. Roahn felt the cold metal of the shackles on her abdomen when she hugged him.

“Im sorry baby. Im sorry. Im so glad you’re back” she cried.

“C’mere” he said, Roahn stopped and Shy passed his linked arms to her back into a hug. “Dont cry, Roahn. Im ok” he said. His bruises were purple and enormous.

“We need to run away. We need to…”

“Yes we do. But we gotta wait. Can you wait?” He told her.

She doubted.

She didn’t want to wait.

But she said yes.

-

The twins were born. One after three minutes. Three minutes where Danae took the newborn on her arms.

Shy allowed it but in his heart he wanted to kill her.

The second baby was put into his arms. He saw him and started crying. He showed him to Roahn. And told her,

“For them. Soon”

—

Destiny works in mysterious ways.

Their plan was to escape the week before Cal was put up for sale. Taking Kit and running away through the basements windows.

However the night was going down smoothly when suddenly, at the garden just beside the basement, one of the guards of the auction place beat Dimitri up and dragged them back with the baby twins on his coworkers arms.

Roahn was beaten up this time too.

When she woke up, Kit was with Danae screaming and crying loudly, as Dimitri was receiving a CPR. He came back to life but the medic guarded him for two months.

During this time, Cal was sold.

Layo told her how much.

50,000 euros.

That was how much their baby was worth.

During those nights, Roahn mourned her son. She wasnt allowed to see Kit. Or Dimitri.

She was alone. And she was desperate.

When Dimitri healed and a few scars were added to his face, he came back to her. And they hugged for their children had been stripped away from them.

But he promised this wouldn’t happen again. This time they would think it through.

And they would be free.

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Rockabye Royalty (One-Shot)

-------------------------

"I dont care! Just get out of my house! I'm not taking care of a stupid baby!" Virgil's head rang with the sound of his boyfriend's yells. He hadnt meant for this to happen. He'd been on the pill, there was hardly a time when he wasn't. Erin had promised to keep him safe, he'd promised that nothing was going to break them apart. Yet here he was with fury in his eyes, holding a stick with two lines on it.

"Erin you promised! You said you werent going to leave!" Tears were pouring from Virgil's eyes, his chest was tight, he could barely see straight.

"I never promised anything for a baby!." And then Virgil was on the sidewalk, leaning against the building with his head in his hands. He couldn't go back inside to get his things, that was for sure.

"I'm so sorry. . ." He whispered, holding a hand to his stomach. They were supposed to be a family, they were supposed to be happy together. He was only twenty, he couldnt take care of a baby.

Virgil waited for himself to calm down, staring up at the sky in the hopes that no one would look at him.

When he finally calmed down he made his way to the nearest hotel he could find, he supposed it was lucky he'd always remembered his friend's advice of keeping the large bills in bras, Erin had always hated looking at those. Virgil pulled out a few before walking inside, covering up with his hoodie so it didnt look strange.

"How many nights can this cover?" Virgil said to the woman at the desk, placing a few twenties on the counter. He bit his lip, not really expecting an answer.

The woman looked him up and down, a sympathetic look in her pale green eyes.

"Stay as long as you need sweetheart, I'll cover it for you," Virgil let out a sigh of relief, he felt like he was about to start crying.

"Thank you thank you thank you-" he stopped himself from adding anymore thank yous at the last minute.

"Do you need anything special in particular?" Asked the woman, Virgil scanned for her name tag, Mrs. Evans.

"I uh-" he paused, shuffling his feet. He wasnt sure this would count as special arrangements or get him turned away. Subconsciously he pulled his hoodie further over his stomach.

Mrs. Evans' eyes widened, a look of realization dawning on her face. She ducked under the counter and thrust a key into his hands.

"Here you go, room 13, and dont you worry about meals or anything, it's all free," she pushed a few magazines toward him, a quick scan of the covers showed him a few job opportunities. Virgil merely nodded, scooping up the magazines and rushing off to the room, he heard Mrs. Evan's making a call in the distance, she sounded worried, he felt a twinge of guilt in his chest.

The room was larger than he'd expected for only having one bed. There was a tv, multiple appliances, including a coffee machine, and of course, a bathroom. Virgil sat down in the couch at the corner of the room, opening the blinds slightly before holding his hands to his face.

"Oh gods what am I going to do for clothes? I cant go looking for jobs yet! I wouldnt even be able to stay that long!" He didnt really know who he was talking to, there was no one else in the room.

He got an answer to his question a few days later when what seemed to be a trash bag full of clothing showed up on his doorstep. He picked up the card attached to it, but all that was there was the image of a heart bursting into flames, with a crown around its middle. Virgil shrugged and dragged the clothes into the room. It was mostly hoodies and overly large t-shirts, but there were a few outfits in an appropriate size as well. He set to work on hanging them all up, ignoring the pain in his stomach.

The real problem started a few months later. He'd been laying on his bed watching the tv and flipping through a magazine when he felt it, the baby was coming.

He didn't think he'd have time to get to the hospital, but he remembered an offer Mrs. Evan's, or Cassira as he knew her now, had made a few days after he'd gotten there. He buzzed the front desk quickly and in a matter of minutes, there she was.

Virgil didnt remember much else, if he was being honest with himself he'd probably passed out. When he opened his eyes he was laying in the bath tub, a mess of towels and a pair of underwear and sweatpants discarded on the floor. He blinked a few times, and then he heard crying.

"Shhh, shhh, it's ok little one,look, daddy's awake, its ok," Cassira was holding something swaddled in Virgil's hoodie, she passed it over to him and he held the small child in his arms.

"Its a girl," Cassira said, not putting much emphasis on the last word.

"Hi," Virigl said softly, looking at the mini version of himself swaddled in the jacket. She had the same soft face, and the same purple and green heterochromia, though her hair was a more jet black color, like Erin's. She smiled as she looked at Virgil, letting out a laugh somewhat like wind chimes.

"You let me know if you need anything," said Cassira. Virgil nodded and watched her leave.

He sat there for a while, watching the bundle in his arms with a fond smile on his face.

"I think we'll call you, Olivia," Virgil said, holding her close.

It took him a few minutes to finally get out of the tub, clean up, and redress himself, all the while keeping Olivia safe.

About six years had passed, Virgil was working full time at a retail job, the only thing he could get while he was working on a degree in Education. When he wasnt working or studying, all of his time went to Olivia. While they were still living at the hotel, Virgil had finally started earning enough to pay for her clothes and schooling and at least a few toys. He was looking into houses as well, he couldn't live in Room 13 for the rest of his life, even if it was free.

Virgil watched Olivia play with a rubik's cube he'd bought her as he wandered the aisles of the shopping center, uncomfortably aware of the people around him.

"Remus I'm just saying! It's not that bad of an idea!" Virgil stopped the cart just moments before a tall man with dark crimson hair and green eyes walked out in front of it.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Virgil growled.

The man stopped "Remus I'm gonna have to call you back," he said, hanging up the phone.

"Sorry about that," he said.

"And who is this little princess," the man turned his attention to Olivia, who was sticking her tongue out in concentration over the colorful block in her hands.

"'m Olivia," she said quietly, giggling.

"And we were just leaving," Virgil said, anxious to get out of the aisle. Whoever this man was, he didnt want to be near him for to long.

The man opened his mouth to speak, but Virgil was already pushing past him.

But that wasnt the last time he'd meet the man. The two started seeing each other at nearly every store, on the way to the movies, and eventually, at the hotel itself.

"Ok, can you just admit you're stalking me like some freak or are you just going to act all innocent every time we bump into each other," Virgil said, covering Olivia's ears.

"I'm not doing it on purpose!" Said the man, Virgil took a step back.

"Wait- I didnt mean-" the man paused for a second, looking at his hands.

"Look, I'm not intentionally trying to meet up with you, though you seem like a nice guy, my name is Roman Prince-Duke, I run a modeling agency with my brother," Roman said, tapping his fingers together.

"Oh?" Virgil raised an eyebrow slightly.

"I wasnt taking pictures of you! I mean I'd like to- but like as a job! Not in a creepy way!" Virgil's face went red. This seemed to catch Olivia's attention, as she finally stopped fumbling with his hoodie strings to look over at Roman.

"Daddy's gonna marry a prince," she whispered, causing the blush on Virgil's face to grow even further. Roman let out a small chuckle, covering his mouth.

"Ollie that's not how it works sweetie," Virgil said with a laugh.

"So how much would I be paid? What are the requirements?" Virgil asked.

"Fifty dollars per photo, and you get to make the decision on outfits used and pose adjustments," Roman said.

"Alright, I'll bite," Virgil said, if he was honest, he'd do anything to get out of his current job.

It was about a week before he could finally make the shift. He'd decided to bring Olivia with him to the building. It was large and ornate, posters of attractive men and women were smiling down at him. But it was different, the people in the photos were dancing, singing, they were acting like people. Virgil pushed the door open, snatching Olivia out just before she started spinning it in circles.

"Daddy look!" Olivia pointed upwards towards a fountain at the center of the room.

"I see it Ollie," Virgil said, smiling. He walked to the front desk, where a short man with light brown hair and round glasses was typing away at a computer.

Virgil was about to open his mouth before the boy looked up, and noticed Olivia.

"Oh my gosh look at you! Arent you just the cutest thing!" Olivia giggled as the man ruffled her hair.

"You must be Virgil then? Roman's been absolutely raving about you," said the man.

"Did I hear my name Patton?" Roman said as he walked into the room, and then he noticed Virgil.

"Virgil! Lovely!" He clasped his hands together.

"Come with me, Patton can take care of Olivia while we're at our meeting," Roman said. Virgil stood there for a few seconds, looking between Patton and Olivia before finally letting go of her hand. She rushed behind the desk and stood on her tiptoes to stare at the computer.

Roman's office was covered in decorations of mythical creatures and outfit designs. In the center es a desk with two large and comfy looking chairs in front and behind it. Virgil sat down in the one in front, watching as Roman made his way to the opposite one.

"So, first things, you seem to be more into comfort yes? Overly large sweaters, t-shirts, sweatpants, that kind of thing?" Virgil nodded.

"Anything you absolutely wont do? Any aversions to skirts? Dresses?" Roman continued.

"As long as it's not form fitting and you cant see anything on my chest or below my waist I dont care," Virgil replied. Roman nodded and wrote something down.

Virgil had been at the job for about two months when he noticed the changes. He'd already known that he thought Roman was hot, but now Roman seemed to want to be around him more as well.

They went out for ice cream after photo shoots, Roman came with Virgil to pick out a new house, if Virgil needed a break Roman would let Patton watch Olivia so they two of them could have spa days.

Virgil had been suppressing it for a while, he didnt want to believe he was falling in love again, or that a boy was falling in love with him. He was afraid, afraid Roman would become the new Erin. But fate seemed to have other plans.

They were relaxing in a hot tub, Virgil's back pressed up against one of the jets, head resting on the outer rim.

"Virgil, I've been planning on this for a while, and I think now might be the best time to tell you," Roman spoke softly, but Virgil could still feel his limbs tense.

"You can say no if you want, I wont mind, but I think- I think I want to go on a date with you, like an official one," Virgil looked up, clutching the edge of the 'seat'.

"Well- I uh- I mean you're very nice but I-" Virgil could feel tears forming in his eyes.

"Oh no no Virgil- dont cry- I understand, you dont have to, we can just be friends," Roman pushed Virgil's hair out of his face, worried evident in his eyes.

"I-I do want to be more than friends- but I-" Roman's eyes widened suddenly, his hand instinctively moving to Virgil's side, his thumb brushing against Virgil's stomach.

"I wont, I swear, you have my permission to chuck me off a building if I do," Roman said, earning a laugh from Virgil.

Virgil wrapped his arms around Roman's neck, pressing their foreheads together and smiling.

"Then yes, I will date you," and Roman pulled Virgil into a kiss that would only be rivaled by the one they shared ten years later, with Olivia by Virgil's side, and her girlfriend by Roman's, as Virgil finally realized he'd found the man who would keep him and his daughter safe for as long as the family lived.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@nerosdayinhell

@meowthefluffy

@youtuberswithalex

@thecolorfulolive

@frog-candy-bee

@spooky-scary-virgil

@boobmaster69

@melodiread

@thefivecalls

[ms-demeanor]

After reading your "ultra-long postivity post", now I have kind of a weird feeling because i relate a lot to pretty much everything you said, but i ended up approaching the "not everyone can x" from the opposite side, being the "gifted kid" teachers used to hold everyone to unrealistic standards (that i knew most couldnt achieve in the given timeframes), and now i get frustrated when i dont develop skills immediately, because i have done it before and feel like i should be able to and aaaaaaaaaa

Funny story: when I was a kid my parents had both my sister and I tested for learning and developmental disabilities. This testing included IQ testing.

It identified that we were both “gifted” kids* and that I’m dyslexic.

It totally missed my ADHD, though!

The problem with that is that my parents. Hm.

Okay my parents both grew up in very poor families. VERY poor. And they both wanted to go to college and knew the only way that they could was through scholarships. So they became debaters. They met at a tournament in high school.

Debaters are weird. You need an efficient working memory and strong recall and the ability to think quickly on your feet. Being witty and kind of an asshole are also good traits for debaters. Basically you’ve either gotta be really fuck-off smart to be a competitive debater or you’ve gotta at least *seem* really fuck-off smart.

And my parents were champion debaters at a national level. The Whittier College debate trophy has my mom’s name written directly under Richard goddamn Nixon. My dad was on the USC debate team and competed against Harvard and won. Not only that but he ended up coaching debate for USC and Cal Tech.

So as kids who grew up in extremely poor families and were able to go to college and get middle-class jobs and buy a house because of intellectual ability my parents placed A LOT of importance on intellectual ability.

So that IQ score became a large part of my life.

First we attacked the dyslexia. The approach was basically teaching me a bunch of sight words because sounding out phonics doesn’t work when the letters get screwed up. And because I was *gifted* we did a lot of really BIG sight words.

It took about six months to get me up to speed from “memorizing the pages of a story to match the pictures because I couldn’t read along in class” to “the first book I read on my own was The Hobbit.” I guess that counted as “cured” because that was the last time I got any kind of educational assistance.

At that time I was at a gifted school, a really tiny private school that was also an after-school daycare where we did full-day classes and then did gymnastics and swim from 3-6pm. I also was there over the summer because my parents worked.

So going from “tiny private school where the teacher has you stand up in class to read your failing grade in front of everyone so that she could shame you into performing better” to “fine public school in a suburb wealthy enough to have arts programs” was a major, major change. They did an aptitude test because I was transferring in from a different district and there was much discussion about whether or not to move me directly from the second to the sixth grade.

The district refused, thank fuck.

The public elementary school didn’t *have* a gifted program so it took very little time for me to become the Certified Weird Kid. My third grade teacher had me read aloud to our class for twenty minutes a day. I taught the class the multiplication table.

When it got to be time to go to the junior high school my mom went to a meeting for the school’s gifted kids program. APPARENTLY one of the kid’s dad’s basically said “I don’t understand why you’re wasting school funds on field trips for the stupid kids, the school should spend more of its resources on kids who have a chance of actually meaning something to the world” and my mom decided that while being gifted was important it was less important than making sure I wasn’t exposed to assholes of that caliber on a regular basis.

(thanks mom, I actually do really appreciate that reprieve)

Several teachers pushed me into advanced classes - my math teacher insisted that I take the advanced algebra classes in the seventh and eighth grade.

The GATE kids *WERE* assholes and were extra bonus special assholes to me because math was the only advanced class that I was in. (At my junior high school you had to pick your elective based on what level of classes you were in - to take the GATE classes you HAD to take a music elective; if you took art, drama, shop, or home ec you couldn’t take the smart kid classes. The algebra class was a new, separate addition to the program so *some* of the kids in the “electives for dropouts” program could take algebra. Schools are really fucked up, guys, in case you didn’t know schools are really fucked up and that was BEFORE No Child Left Behind).

I got a C in that algebra class and sat in my room for literally an hour screaming at myself for being such a selfish, distracted idiot that I let myself read my books instead of studying harder for the class. (clearly very healthy, normal twelve-year-old behavior)

When it was time to go to high school my teachers made a united plea to the district to transfer me into honors/IB/AP classes.

The kids in the honors/IB/AP classes continued to be kind of awful to me. I got extremely depressed and basically started doing the lazy-but-brilliant thing of completely ignoring homework or in-class work but performing spectacularly well on tests or essays in the classes that I wasn’t catastrophically failing

I was the only person at the school who got a perfect score on the vocab part of my SAT. I was the only honors kid who hadn’t been in SAT prep classes. There was only one other kid who graduated with the same number of units as I had, we’d outstripped the valedictorian and salutatorian but three classes each. I only applied to one college - I got accepted for painting but my interviewer urged me to move to the writing program and I got accepted for that too.

My financial aid didn’t come through and my dad wasn’t willing to cosign for loans on “an art program at a trade school.”

I got accepted to Pratt Institute on their Writing for Publication track which included an internship with the New York Times for third-year students in the program.

At that point I had a Columbia Scholastic Press award for my work on my high school yearbook.

Let me tell you, the community college that I went to and spent five years variously failing and succeeding at had a fucking *killer* newspaper and magazine when I was there. The local community newspaper that hired me when I was 21 was also much better designed and edited than it had any right to be for the three years I worked there (getting paid a whole eight dollars an hour and sometimes working 20 hours straight to get it in to the printer on time).

When I transferred to the state school I got perfect grades and worked full time and won every contest offered by the school’s English Honors society (which I couldn’t join because I was a transfer student and hadn’t done honors classes my freshman and sophomore years). I started a literary magazine with some friends when I graduated; we published four full issues online before it fell apart.

You know what’s also funny?

Even the food-service job I had to pay my way though the community college I felt terrible about attending was a skills test. I was a barista, so of course for a while I was a competitive barista.

I disappointed my parents a lot. I heard a lot of “we know you’re better than this.” I got told I was too smart to be screwing up this bad. I mentioned it a couple weeks ago but my results from that IQ test got compared to my sister’s and that was the justification for holding me to a higher standard. “You’re measurably brilliant, why aren’t you acting like it?”

Here lies the corpse of a gifted kid. Look on my works ye might and despair.

I am the perfect picture of a twice exceptional gifted kid and the reason I wrote all of this out is to tell you one thing:

“Gifted Kid” is a label that someone applied to you, it has nothing to do with who and what you ARE.

It’s very, very unfair that the adults in your life used you that way. I have an exceptionally terrible memory of being singled out as the only one who passed the first test in my IB World History class; “Why is Alli the only one of all of you who is writing at grade level? You’re supposed to be the smartest kids in the school, why did you all fail?”

That’s awful for the kids around you, that’s awful for you. It doesn’t do anybody any favors if people around you are being informed that you’re setting the curve they’ll be judged against. And it really, really doesn’t do YOU any favors because it doesn’t take long *at all* for your brain to learn that that’s all you’re good for. If you aren’t the best at a thing then what’s the point, you HAVE to be best because they already SAID you were best and if you aren’t then all these other people hate you for setting a standard that even you can’t keep up with.

You end up competing with past versions of yourself and focusing on those things that make the grownups in your life praise you because the grownups in your life has praised you in such a way that it’s turned all the other kids against you.

You know who bullied the fuck out of me? The kids I taught the times tables to, the kids I read to for half an hour a day.

Those kids were MEAN to me but the teacher who told me to read Boxcar Kids to the class after lunch everyday was NICE and she told me not to worry, they were just jealous and I should be proud of my gifts.

“Anon did this in three minutes. What’s taking the rest of you so long?” - what a terrible weight to put on a child. You’re right. Not everyone can do everything.

Fucking hell.

Adults what the everloving shit is wrong with us? Please don’t treat kids like that.

Okay.

Okay.

But here’s the other thing:

If there’s any time in your life that it’s easy to acquire skills with no apparent effort it’s when you’re a child surrounded by a support system that is engaged in making sure that you can acquire those skills.

It took three adults, two dictionaries, and several hours a day to teach me enough sight-words to throw me into “look at baby genius*” territory but from my perspective as a little kid I was just reading cool stories.

I spent four hours a day in the yearbook room and ditched and failed other classes so that I could work on the yearbook. I collected hundreds of magazines to get an eye for layout. But from my perspective as a teenager it was a fun activity that I did with the closest thing I had to friends.

I’m sure that there are some skills that you had a natural aptitude for, some things that came naturally. But I’m also sure that you didn’t learn those skills with no effort, it’s just that now as an adult with a life and other shit going on it takes more effort to learn to do things.

In all likelihood you weren’t a savant who did everything perfectly the first time you tried. It just seems that way because even really smart kids don’t know when they’re bad at things and are mostly being compared against other kids (with the few rare exceptions of music prodigies or math prodigies or those kids who end up in science grad programs at 12 and boy howdy do I think there’s a whole other can of worms when it comes to the way child prodigies* interact with the world).

You wanna know what probably saved my life in the last few years?

That “anti-capitalist love notes” tumblr post.

You are worth more than your productivity.

You are worth more than your productivity.

You are worth more than your productivity.

I was actually kind of offended the first time I saw that post on my dash. “No I’m not,” I thought. “You’re only worth what you can do, everyone knows that. People care about what you do for them.”

And why the hell would I think anything else? That’s what I’d learned for pretty much my whole life.

It took me a really long time to understand that I was wrong. I matter outside of what I can do for people or how well I perform. I matter more than being able to perfectly recite poetry from memory or do calculations on command or sit down at a piano and play a piece I’ve never played by sight-reading it.

And you matter outside of that too. You’re more than your performance, you’re better than being gifted. There are people who love you for the way you make them laugh and how you listen to their stories and for the simple joy of your presence.

It’s nice to be clever, it’s handy in a lot of situations even if it does come with a lot of baggage for some people.

But god damn, it’s important to be kind.

* Personally I have issues with the way that society constructs the concepts of giftedness, genius, and prodigies. There are a lot of “gifted” kids who were the kids who scored in the top 5% of their class in school but there are also gifted kids who were doing high-level math or reading novels as toddlers; there are prodigies who showed an aptitude for music young and who were then schooled in that instrument to the exclusion of all other activities (and I bet there are a fair number of kids who might be considered prodigies if they were trained to play flute for nine hours a day and didn’t have friends but thankfully we don’t *do* that to very many people - side note, ask me my opinion about olympic athletes some time). Words like “genius” and “gifted” are very nearly meaningless and almost *never* accurately reflect skills proficiency or long-term success or are reflected in income or respect. People think that geniuses are hypercompetent robots with their shit together but literally every adult I know with a genius-level IQ is some variety or other of total fucking tire fire.

[ruffiorocks]

She Ra! This show was amazing! (Long post)

Omg! I stayed up until 4.00am to binge watch the last season of She Ra. I'm gutted that before I put it on I opened Twitter for a second and the Catradora kiss was ruined for me! 😞

But what a bloody season! What a show! I grew up watching the original She Ra and the original He Man. Mine and brothers favourite movie was "The Secret of the Sword" (the He Man and She Ra film where she is first introduced). That show was brilliant for its day, it depicted strong women who didn't need men to save them. Plus She Ra was so much better than He Man, she could heal people, talk to animals and turn her sword into anything she liked! She also had a flying unicorn that could talk! What else could a girl want in a show?

When I heard this was going to be revived I was a bit apprehensive, especially after the failed He Man reboot and the failed Thunder Cats one. (Dont even get me started on that monstrosity they call a reboot! At least the anime version was cool).

I decided to give the show a watch, convincing myself that is was for nostalgic purposes only, and wow! I could not stop watching it!

This version is great, because it wasn't trying to be the same as the original. The basic premise was the same but the story and the characters were fleshed out so much more. The relationships between the characters was just something else. I loved how they de-aged them, so it was teenagers and not adults this time.

Making Adora and Catra best friends? I loved it! The fact that this friendship/enemies story between the two became the heart of this show was something else. The original series had Catra being jealous of Adora and becoming a force Captain after Adora left but that was the extent of their relationship.

I love how Hordak wasn't even all the fussed about conquering Etheria. He had so much more depth to him than the original one did. OG Hordak was a bumbling idiot who laughed evilly and could turn himself into rockets and canons. The most interesting thing about him was he used to be Skeletors mentor. The very idea or Hordak caring for anything or anyone other than imp was unthinkable. This Hordak has a tragic back story, he's had it rough, he has a specific goal and conquering Etheria seems to become less and less important to him. He's even able to form a close friendship with Entrapta.

Shadow Weaver being a maternal figure for Adora was something the original had but wasn't mentioned much at all. The fact that she was the foster mother of both Catra and Adora and favoured Adora to the point of obsession in getting her back gave the back story so much more. The fact that Shadow weaver is more connected to the other characters and has her own back story and then a redemption, I love it.

I also love how the relationship between Shadow Weaver and Catra was really explored. It made Catra so much more than just a boring villain of the week when you see the neglect and abuse she went through. How her only solice was Adora, you can totally understand why she feels broken when Adora leaves everything they both know. But I also love how even though she was villian she kept her sense of humour and she just couldnt get over Adora no matter how hard she tried to.

Glimmer? So much more character than the original. Her relationship with her mother was brilliant. Angela was so funny and I was gutted when she died. In the original it was Angela that had been gone a long time and had to be rescued by He Man and She Ra to be reunited with Glimmer. Her father didn't show up, but it was rumoured that a mysterious red knight who Angela thought she knew could have been him.

Bow? This bow was amazing with all of his tech and his sass and his sensitivity. The original bow was OK but he wasn't the character you watched the show for. I'm also glad they didnt have him pining for She Ra like the OG did. The fact he has two gay dads was amazing! I do wish they had kept Kowl though.

Swift Wind is hands down by favourite side character! That horse is so sassy he just make me crack up no matter what he does. I'm glad they did him justice, because when I was younger I always wanted a white horse and to call it Spirit like the Original She Ra and so that meant a lot that they just improved on him.

I love how everyone knows who Adora is, there is no secret identity.

The fact that the princesses have so much more personality and backstory than their OG counter parts did is brilliant. My absolute favourite is Mermista!

Scorpia? I love how she wasn't just a bad guy like her OG counter part was. This character is so much more interesting. She goes on her own journey, she doesn't even seem to grasp what she's doing half the time because she is just desperate to have friends. She never gave up on her friendship with Catra, even when Catra didn't want her she was still there. I love that.

Sea Hawk? Omg! One of my favourites! A far cry from his OG character. I'm so glad they didnt have him and Adora as a couple like the OG did! "ADVENTURE!!"

This show had everything! So much more humour than the OG one. It allowed violence as well which is something the OG one didn't allow. If you ever watch it you'll notice She Ra doesn't hit any one who is alive (Robots don't count) she would beat them in ways they couldn't be harmed, like she ra throwing into mud or water. But this? This show has some ass kicking going on!

The shape of the characters is also brilliant. I love how Glimmer is slightly bigger than than the other characters. How we have them in all shapes and sizes. The OG characters were always drawn using the same template. The footage was also constantly reused in every episode.

Now for the change I love the most! The LGBTQ rep! This would have been unthinkable when the OG show was on! No one would have dared suggest it. (Although He Man always had gay under tones, especially after the live action movie happened). But when I was watching this show being gay wasn't something people discussed and certainly not with children. The most we saw was the occasional gay couple on a soap. For me it was Tony and Simon in Eastenders and Zoe Tate on Emmerdale. But a children's show? NEVER!

I wish I had had this show when I was a kid. It took me until i became an adult to admit that I liked women. If I had had this show and these characters in my life perhaps things would have been easier. It would have helped me understand myself better. Unfortunately for the time it still would have been frowned upon and even though my family are much more accepting after a lot of education I don't think I would have been allowed to watch this show this way when I was a kid.

But kids now are so lucky! They are exposed to the LGBT every day. It's everywhere! It isn't hiding anymore, it's so much more accepted. Even when I was a teen at school a lot of gay people were still in the "we know you exist but we don't want to know about it" phase.

This show handled it so well!! There was no coming out story line, no trying to figure out why they had these feelings. It was treated the exact same way any hetro storyline would be. The fact that there was a canon lesbian couple from the get go said it all. As the seasons went in they progressed and gave us Bows gay dad's. They had Adora crushing on women. They didn't even try to hide what they were doing with Catra and Adora. I love how this last season gave more screen time and story to Spinereella and Netalia rather than them just "being there". It was just handled so well. None of the characters battered an eye lid at the thought of Adora and Catra as a couple. I'm just gutted its over. They even gave us an epilogue!!

Last point, maybe it's an unpopular opinion but I feel like they didn't need to put Glimmer and Bow together. I always adored how they had this wonderful best friend relationship between a boy and girl that didn't need to end in them falling in love. I never saw them as a couple, just best friends. Plus I always saw Bow as asexual.

Catradora reminds me so much of Supercorp from Supergirl. It gives me hope that maybe the show will be brave and give us a canon Lena and Kara. But I won't hold my breath 😅

All the kudos to She Ra!

[lucidpantone]

I know this is a controversial question so i would totally understand if you choose not want to answer, but im curious enough to ask anyway. Can you rank your fav remakes in order? Maybe add a comment about what you most appreciate about each remake (to soften the blow of any sensitive readers). Ofc if you couldnt connect with a remake you might wanna totally leave it out of the ranking...

Disclaimer this is gonna be long asf. So I like all the remakes so this is gonna be hard because of that. I don’t like one remake in its entirety I can find one season in each remake I wasn’t super stoked about and if you’re skamfr I can find 3 seasons hahah. So I am actually gonna do this by fav original 1-4 seasons and original seasons (OG excluded).

Season 1: Eva Skam Espana (Isa SkamNL is a super close 2nd)

I am gonna be frank my least fav season is Eva’s season in the original seasons. I don't dislike the plot its more like I just find the other plots of the other seasons way more interesting. However if I am gonna pick my fav adaptation its gonna be Eva from Espana. Mainly because some remakes take their jonas to far and they don’t know how to balance being inexperienced and immature with just being a plain dick (am looking at you wtfock and Austin). I hate when remakes take it to far and make the couple completely irredeemable. Also Jorge is just the best man. He tries so hard for Eva he tries to make things right and its just timing, immaturity on both parts. Also I love that above all Eva and Jorge are friends. Alongside with Lucas they are just like family and they can push aside their personal issues to be their for one another and I just think thats such a beautiful quality in Jorge and Eva.They both have good souls and I am happy they ended up together but I also feel like if they didn't they would be genuinely be happy for the other if they found someone else and fell in love and thats why I love them so much.

Season 2: Zoe Wtfock (but Nora Skam Espana is a close 2nd)

Here is what I love about Zoe’s season is that we see the pov of not just how Zoe was changing because she was opening herself to love but also how much Senne was changing as well and trying to address some issues he had been ignoring because he wanted to be a better man for Zoenne. For me Zoenne and Norandro are so amazing for this reason. We not only saw the girl processing how love was effecting her development but we got to experience Senne and Alejandro trying to become better men and really transitioning from boyhood to manhood via this self assessment period of themselves. I adore these two couples for this because I am so heavily invested in both the outcome of the girl and the guy. I guess with love stories there is that saying there is two sides to a story and then there is the truth and I feel like the noorhelm storyline has always been about hard truths. About young women challenging their perspectives on feminism, about young women acknowledging when they have been a victim of a crime/emotional abuse and not blaming themselves for it but knowing that they did nothing wrong and were undeserving of the act that took place. Also s2 plays on the concepts of manhood too. How approaching situations through the lens of rage and violence can develop into harmful and even predatory tendencies. Overall these two remakes stand out to me because they really speak to the lesson of how does one define themself in the whirlwind of love and what boundaries do you need to set so you don’t lose yourself in the process. Season 3: IT’S SO HARD PICKING JUST ONE!! (Am going to base this selection entirely off my fav Isak and their narrative arc versus the evak pairing because ultimately this season is about the Isak character not Isak & Even) Matteo Druck

Let me tell you no other Skam character has haunted me as much as Matteo. I think with Matteo his story was just so raw and unfiltered. Here was this boy he was so lonely, isolated, lost and really just didn’t think he was worthy of much. Matteo was approaching life expecting the bare minimum because he in many ways didn’t think he was deserving of much more. Matteo hid himself so deeply in what I refer to as the wall paper of life. Trying to blend in and stay invisible even tho this way of thinking was seriously effecting his mental health. I don't think he realized how far from shore he was before David slammed into his life and drag him out of the grip of the ocean’s current. Matteo was on the verge of drowning he just didn’t know it. And then came David and he just loved Matteo as is and I think a big reason for that is because no one had ever told either boy that they were perfect just as they were until they said it to one another. Both boys were going through life just accepting the bare minimum one because of societal barricades around gender and the other societal stigma concerning asking for help when suffering from mental health issues. In the end they found one another and said fuck it and fuck society as long as we have one another then we’re gonna get through this. However... having said that davenzi is not my fav evak pairing but Matteo is my fav standalone Isak. The prize for fav evak tho would go to Sobbe because I literally can’t picture two more in love people. Man the day Sobbe met I feel like inertia collapsed in on itself in their respective worlds. It really was the case that time stopped and that they were destined to find one another. They are so in love it just radiates off them. Also random note my fav Even is Joana. Hence why choosing an s3 is so hard because I like different components of s3 seasons.

Season 4: Sana Skam Italia

(this is a copy/paste my original why I love Italia s4 rant)

Say what you want about the casting(this is a fair argument) but I am really happy that SKAMIT gave us a love story centered around two muslim individuals and their differing approaches and interpretations of Islam. I think for me its that we are always trying to dilute Sana’s season with this western need to educate non-muslims and though I appreciate that I also want to see a love story that’s purely about the journey of young muslims and the issues they experience themselves and not via a western glazing. The thing that stood out for me in SKAMIT is how many different perspective of how Islam is practiced came to the forefront. Sana’s journey to understand and come to defend queerness. Muslim men (Sana’s brother) being offended because she assumed he was homophobic. Laui being in a healthy relationship as a muslim queer man. Malik openly talking about Islam and his separation from it but still a believer in a greater power(and not because he wants to drink and party). For me this was what the Sana season was suppose to be about putting the muslim experience front and center and unapologetically so.

Original Season: Nora Druck

I mean what a fantastic take on building new and improved squads with more diversity in race, sexual preferences and perspectives. I will say that I also do like the new squad from Skamfr. Its nice to see newgens that am truly excited about getting to know. Like I need to know everything about Ava pronto she is bae. I do have one random surprise about my next fav original season which for me would be Arthur for Skamfr. Honestly if we would have gutted the cheating plot we would have had a really interesting season about a young adult’s life being rocked by disability and trying to find themselves in this new landscape. Similar to Nora in Druck with MI and also the long term effects of experiencing violence in the household in Skamfr but yea so far Druck has been the only one to get a sound original season out and they should be commended for that.

[jaybug-jabbers]

All-Glitch Pokemon Blue Run Pt16: Approaching Destiny

The following is a series of texts exchanged between the devices of Professor Gingko and his assistant, June, dated 8/15/97. This document is for the personal information and use of the designated recipiet only (i.e., “for your eyes only”). It is not to be shared. 

P Gingko 3:34 pm

June? Are you still out working with D4 in the Mansion? You've been gone quite a long time now. I was hoping for a status report.

Junebug  3:46 pm

ya got sidetracked sorry

P Gingko 3:47 pm

Side-tracked doing what?

Junebug  3:49 pm

um

Junebug  3:49 pm

I'll tell you but promise you won't be mad, ok?

P Gingko 3:50 pm

I won't be mad as long as you don't give me a reason to be mad.

Junebug  3:52 pm

I'm sort of in Viridian City right now

Junebug  3:52 pm

and, uh, I just finished fighting the gym leader. did yoy know the Viridian Gym leader was Giovani?

P Gingko 3:53 pm

What on Earth possessed you to do this, June? Did I not *specifically* instruct you no more gym battles or trainer fights? You know we're trying to keep a low profile!

Junebug  3:53 pm

ok see you're getting mad

Junebug  3:53 pm

look, I had a reason

Junebug  3:54 pm

I heard on the news that the Viridian Gym was accepting challengers again, and somebody was speculating the leader of the gym was actually this giovani guy

Junebug  3:54 pm

and like it was acting as his sort of cover. you know, the dude who is in charge of team rocket? those losers who keep smuggling pokemon and stuff? and they were RIGHT, it totally was giovani

P Gingko 3:56 pm

I fail to see why this is relevent. What does it matter if the Gym leader is Giovani? You still shouldn't have challenged him, especially in front of so many witnesses.

Junebug  3:58 pm

because I stopped him! I stomped him flat with my glitch pokes and he was so confused and humiliated that he swore he couldnt even face team rccket anymore. he said he's disbanding the whole organization! look i knew somebody had to take the guy down a few pegs, and I was right, it worked.

P Gingko 4:00 pm

As commendable as that is, June, this sort of thing still is best left to the authorities to deal with. Let the police and investigators handle Team Rocket. It's not the job of a busy young lady who's assisting a glitch pokemon professor on very delicate research.

Junebug  4:02 pm

Isn't it, though?

P Gingko 4:02 pm

Isn't it what?

Junebug  4:05 pm

Look, Professor. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. We've been spending months now researching these glitch pokemon. And you've spent YEARS doing it. All in super secrecy. Ever since they were discovered, its been in secret. youve been slaving away in the shadows, and all your colleagues just think youre some qwuak, some lunatic.

P Gingko 4:05 pm

The reminder is, in fact, not necessary. I'm well aware of how the academic community perceives me.

Junebug  4:06 pm

Don't you think it's about time we do something about that? We've learned so much and we have PLENTY of proof by now! We can go public about glitch pokemon and show the world what they've been missing. or misunderstanding.

P Gingko 4:08 pm

June, that's not for you to decide. The nature of our research is very important but also very sensitive. We're working with incredibly powerful forces. In the wrong hands, or if mishandled, glitch pokemon and glitch phenomenon can be devastating

Junebug  4:11 pm

Yeah but isn't that all the more reason to go forward with the truth? Sooner or later, some random person will stumble across glitches, just like I did. And who knows what will happen to them. But if we go forward and educate people, then, laws can be made, and people can learn about them, and we can all know how to deal with glitches properly.

Junebug  4:11 pm

and also people will realize we're not crazy!! you wont have to work in obscurity anymore. you can be a hero! recognized for your genius.

P Gingko 4:12 pm

Appealing to my sense of vanity won't work, you know.

Junebug  4:12 pm

its not really about the glory though, thats just a nice added bonus.

P Gingko 4:15 pm

June . . . it's not as though I have not considered these facts. I've thought about them for years. About when to go public, and how, and with what information. It is of course my ultimate goal to reveal what we've learned to the world. So that everyone can live safely and co-exist with these amazing creatures.

P Gingko 4:15 pm

But it's not as simple as just holding a press conference and proclaiming things to the world. There are so many factors to consider.

Junebug  4:17 pm

Maybe you'r over-complicating it, though. like, I had this great idea yesterday about how we can do it.

P Gingko 4:17 pm

I mean this with no offense, but I very much doubt that you've settled on a solution more sophisticated then my years of consideration has generated.

Junebug  4:19 pm

wait til you hear it before dismissing it, man

Junebug  4:19 pm

you're gonna love it

Junebug  4:19 pm

you ready to hear it?

P Gingko 4:20 pm

June.

Junebug  4:20 pm

ok so . . . .

Junebug  4:20 pm

I take my team of glitch pokemon and I beat the Elite 4 and become Pokemon Champion of the entire region.

Junebug  4:24 pm

Professor?

Junebug  4:26 pm

Professor, u still there?

Junebug  4:27 pm

c'mon man its a brilliant idea

P Gingko 4:30 pm

Get back to the lab. We're not discussing this.

Junebug  4:30 pm

Aw, cmon. What better way to prove to the whole world the power and reality of glitch pokemon? Nobody can call it phony after that, and nobody can deny them. Plus with the prestige of Championship we'll be in a position to put forth our important research and ideas on handling glitch pokes safely.

Junebug  4:40 pm

Professor, are you there?

P Gingko 4:48 pm

Get back to the lab.

P Gingko 4:48 pm

We can discuss it there.

—

(E-mail from one week later)

Professor,

This is the update you wanted about my journey through Victory Road. I know you’re still feeling hestitant even after all our long discussions about the plan. I hope this report can reassure you that this is going to go off without a hitch.

My first hurdle on the journey began before I could even take a single step on Victory Road. Professor Oak’s grandson had once again managed to track me down. It’s like that kid has a sixth sense for honing in on me and being annoying, I swear. He demanded a battle, so I complied.

Things were a cakewalk, but then, uhh. He sent out his Alakazam and it was . . . a lot stronger then before. By like, a lot.

He wiped my entire team. It was almost in an instant. 

But that didn’t matter, because I’m no pushover trainer! Maybe I used to be, but these days I’ve learned an awful lot. So I dug into my supplies of TMs and found the perfect one. I taught Giago Thunder Wave.

During our rematch, Gia survived a hit and paralyzed the Alakazam. I knew the Zam had paltry Defense, so I sent out Fractal, who has amazing physical Attack. The Zam crumpled before us!

Things were a little tight with the final foe, a level 53 Blastoise, but my team chipped him down enough that Wobbles could easily finish the job. Not bad for a team sitting at around level 35.

With that annoying kid cleared out of the way, we headed to the caves known as Victory Road.

The journey wasn’t exactly a quick one, I’ll be honest. It took a lot of tromping around, getting lost, pushing rubble out of the way, and battling trainers that had alarmingly high-levelled pokemon. I eventually decided it would probably be best if we did a little extra training. It would make the trip a bit smoother.

So we trained, and we trained hard. Our goal was for everyone to reach level 40. Not too ambitious, just around 5 levels or so. For some, it was pretty easy. Wobbles had no problems, and Gia was packing Surf. Sure, Gia’s Special isn’t great, but it was still enough to take out the local Rock/Ground types in the cave. Jasper took slightly longer to work with, but with Earthquake and Hydro Pump, he still didn’t have much trouble. 

Dusty was a bit harder to train. As you know, her stats have never been incredible . . . besides her speed, that is. But she had Bubblebeam, Ice Beam and Hydro Pump, so it actually wasn’t too bad; just a little more time-consuming.

Then there was Fractal. I’ve noted before that Fractal’s defenses (both of them) are the worst of the team’s, and frankly abysmal. So training him was certainly a challenge. I opted to wander the grasses just outside of the cave, beating on Dittos and Fearows and healing a TON. It took a while, but eventually, even Fractal rose through the ranks.

After Fractal, there was just Charmed left to train. It wasn’t too bad, considering how balanced Charm’s stats are. The only extra thing I needed to do was duplicate some Elixirs for Charmed. She still doesn’t trust Pokecenter nurses, so she’ll only accept heals from me. I even bought Charmed a little treat and taught her Fire Blast.

Of course, if I’d wanted to, I could have duplicated a crapton of Rare Candies and just fed them to my pokemon. But I wasn’t going to do that. After all, you told me eating too much candy isn’t healthy for pokemon, and besides, I knew they could prove themselves in battle.

And that they did. We finally cleared Victory Road’s twisted, confusing tunnels and made it outside to face the large, dominating building that housed the Elite Four.

It was time.

—

Click For the Next Part of the Series!

[dredreadsdrawing]

Oc-tober Day 27: Fantasy

A bunch of my isekai ocs with original stories. Oofy. I will make the quickest of beginnings for em. These don’t tell the whole story, just how it starts and maybe some future details. I got carried away with some lol. Also, please don’t mind the absurd names XD I couldnt think of any, and isekais tend to have weird names anyways lol. Looking at you Miss Sidekick.

1. Second Best: Probably the one I have planned out the most and have even written like the entire plot for in a Quickie Summary ill post another time. This started as an isekai, but uh, i found no need for her to be reincarnated after I developed the story more. Still, the original inspiration for this was isekai lol.

Born in a lower noble family with high ambitions, when she was born plain, they planned to push her to be educated, but an accident defaced her at the age of three and that was it for them. They saw her as a lost cause and found it easier to give up on her. They were having another child anyways. So she was kept in the old, secluded wing of the estate, raised by maids and a single ill-kept tutor while her sister, born blessed and pretty, was spoiled. It happens. The protagonist is restless and takes to running away from the estate, going into the neighboring woods to explore. One day she finds a crying boy, hiding from his servants. She helps him and after hearing him out, they create a childish plan. To murder his step mother.

2. The Villlainess's Lackey:

A girl, let's call her Bronze, is reincarnated into an otome game she played nonstop. She was a hardcore fangirl of a particular character. Not the love interests, or the protagonist named Gold, but the hidden villainess that showed up once the characters graduate. Silver, the protagonists's own best friend turned jealous. Our girl is reincarnated as the lackey of the fake villainess, just a cliche bully trying to kick the protagonist out of high society. Bronze isn't too pleased about being stuck with her. She instead gets to working in the shadows, cornering Silver and spilling the beans on the game's entire story. On how Silver would lose. But not to worry! Bronze will meddle and lie and cheat and perhaps even murder for Silver! Silver is confused and refuses, but comes to accept the help with time. So far everything Bronze predicted has come true. But one thing she believed is wrong. Silver didn't rebel because she was jealous Gold got a guy she liked. She was jealous because she loves Gold. Love triangle shennanigans ensue.

3. To Serve (another that started as isekai but isn't anymore lol)

Eclair is a clumsy new maid, forced to take the job when her parents kicked her out. She was hired to a manor the owners never visit only to use her as a scapegoat. Her job: to take care of the young master. To her surprise, the boy of nine years is malnourished and neglected, the staff predicting his death soon. Unable to give up on such a young boy, Eclair uncovers the mystery on why he's kept secret. He's half fae, and part of his sickness is due to lack of magic. So she goes on a quest to get the boy an artifact to keep him alive, and on the way... Her clumsy ass dies. Her spirit pops out, much to her surprise, and she watches her body get up. A new aura around herself. It seems a wanted criminal has recently been caught and killed, but his soul latched on to the nearest body. Now they have to share it. (lol, yaddayadda he agrees to help the kid, they get the artifact, he slips and dies as he tries climbing the manor windows and she returns to her body with him as a spirit now, she nurses the child but as soon as he is better the fsther wants to just outright murder him so they flee the household to travel to the Fae country and along the way they get closer. Also Eclair is a lesbian and the criminal is gay and their attraction to a nonbinary stranger is a mess they need to make a peace treaty with. :'D)

4. Just a Bystander:

A gal is reincarnated as the first love interest of the Hero of the story. She's meant to be kind, passive, a stepping stone for the Hero to later abandon for more beautiful and powerful women. A stupid role in a story. Because she denied her reincarnation so much, the dick god made her mute. Still, she won't be a pawn. Before the Hero even arrives to the orphanage they meet at, she teaches herself how to read and write, a skill most adults in the village don't have. Once he arrives, the encounters start the same, but our protagonist doesn't play along. The Hero is a brat with a complex already and she ignores every bit of it, making him simultaneously dislike her and try harder to get her attention. His attempts end in a terrible clash where he is supposed to save her from a beast, bearing a scar from being hit by it, but the roles are reversed and she gets hit in the face. In the frenzy, the Hero pulls a sacred sword and is revealed to be the one legends speak of. The adults make a big deal out of his newfound glorious fate, but among the chatter comes the concern of the protagonist's face. She's already mute, and now she's been mutilated. She doesn't have much chance at marriage. She's personally not too sad about it, but to her dismay, the Hero takes it too seriously. He proposes to her and they get 'engaged' (these are children, this promise is entirely on his word, she never agreed to this). Before he goes to get trained in the capital, she gives him a letter he can't read. He takes it as a lover's note and for all the time he spends learning in the academy, he finally deciphers the looong note. It's detailed accounts of how he misinterpreted everything she did and how she has no interest in him at all. And by the time he goes back to the village she will be gone. He runs away on a stolen horse to confront her but it proves true. She got a job with a passing merchant in copying script without telling anyone and is long gone. So begins her independent life.

5. The B-Plot:

Cedar is reincarnated into a game where she is the Villainess, the one to bully the Heroine for seducing her fiancee the prince. In the story, after she is confronted, she is incarcerated and later killed in a fight with the evil forces. Cedar does not want this. So since an early age, she looks for ways out, and surprisingly comes to find she can use magic. Since this was never mentioned in the game, and magic is so rare, she hides this. With research, she realizes her engagement with the prince will mean she gives up over half her magic capabilities to him. That explains it. She will fix this. Once the time comes for her to be engaged to the Prince, she requests to add amendment to the contract, to the surprise of the adults, but they allow it. Her only addition; if three hidden words are spoken that all clauses from the engagement nullify. She would keep her magic. The adults don't realize the extent of this addition, but she holds it dear. As years go by, she trains with what little she has. She makes plans. She realizes the neighboring country is the same as a shounen novel's own isekai series and she seeks to explore it after her ban. She is ready. But.... She has also come to befriend the prince. He's an earnest kid that looks up to her. It's hard to believe his innocent voice would be the death of her. But her resolve is tight and she knows what will come. After he goes on a mission to retrieve the Transmigated Heroine, his attitude shift is clear. And he pubicly shames her at their graduation party, as foretold. Instead of crying, she asks him to repeat his words. He does. "I hate you." The air crackles as her magic comes back with force, draining him of it. She's back to full power, and it's more than she remembered. Everyone looks on with fear as she laughs. She's free. She's sad but she's free. She bids then farewell as she snaps her fingers. She teleports to her room where everything is packed. Then she teleports to the hidden shack outside school campus. She's drained after those big moves, but she has one last thing to do. A potion she brewed that just needed a little magic. She drinks it. And transforms. She won't be Cedar anymore. He will be Oak. And he's going to find the Hero of the neighboring country and join his party.

6. The Selfish Route

A kid is reincarnated as Felicia, the protagonist of a novel where both princes of the land dote on her and she marries into Queendom. Felicia lives without her parents in a manor. The staff mostly takes care of her, as her parents are diplomats and move from country to country. While she has been shown love, she’s always been a nervous wreck, pushing herself hard to get everything right as to not be seen as uneducated by her circumstances. Instead, she is seen as perfect, as she makes a big splash at the first party she attends. She regained her memory at the same age she died, now ten years old and already having met both princes at said party were they were stunned by her. If she remembers the story correctly, the first prince will visit first, named Nicole, then the second prince, named Arthur. She’s back to being nervous and decides to play things as they were written in the story. Going off track feels dangerous! Nicole is written as intelligent and kind. It should be simple enough... But her first visit... completely fails. She stumbles over herself too much, her posture and manners lack, and her gaze never meets the prince’s. He might have been written as kind, but seeing the nervous Felicia, he’s disappointed. He leaves early, and Felicia’s fear solidifies. She’s not as good as the real protagonist was. She can’t sleep that night, and come morning, her staff notices. They crowd her with love and affection, telling her they know her true worth, and that no matter what, they will always be on her side. This comforts her somewhat, and she decides for today’s visit to think outside the box. The second prince is adventurous and daring. She’s still nervous, but when he arrives, she’s already put on clothes for the outside and has a picnic ready. She tells him they’re spending the day outside. He’s confused, but agrees. Their time is spent playing games, eating snacks, and having fun. It ends with them watching the sun begin to set while under a big tree. Then they get to talking. She asks him what he likes to do, and his response is long and convoluted. But it’s essentially this. His brother is better than him at everything. She shakes her head and gets an attitude. She didn’t ask him about his brother. She asked what ARTHUR likes to do. When he doesn’t respond, she makes fun of him. He’s so worried about not being the same as his brother, but he doesn’t have anything he likes. He’s boring. This gets him to respond, and in defending himself, he realizes he does enjoy certain things more than others. Horses and riding them, weapons, learning about the forest and terrain. So she asks him why he isn’t trying to do more of that, instead of barging in on all of his brother’s lessons. Arthur takes this thought to heart, and as he gets up to leave he laughs. He tells her she’s weird, and she starts getting visibly offended. He defends himself, it’s a good weird. He was scared when he learned his brother visited her first, because he’s terrible at formal meetings, but she made this fun. She takes this compliment to heart as well, and as he leaves, she resolves to live the rest of the story not trying to follow the protagonist. But herself. And part of that change, as the year goes by, is her realizing she’s trans. He’d much rather live as a boy. His household is concerned at first, but they slowly become more supportive. It’s the same child, just named Felix now. His parents come to prepare for his coming-of-age ceremony and he’s nervous but he tells them. To his surprise, they accept him. They’ve learned a lot in their many travels, and have broadened their views. In their eyes, this country should do the same, and it’s a pleasure to have their son be the one to start it. They’ll always support him. Nice family moment. Ever since the prince visit, he hasn’t gone to more parties, having been too nervous. But he’s been the talk of nobles his age due to the second prince starting rumors. After he tried rubbing his good day in Nicole’s face, the first prince called him out for liking such a brutish girl. He said they suited eachother. From this little comment, Arthur spiraled. With Felix’s advice, he focused on his training instead of his studies, made friends and became better. But when asked about the interest he showed in the young Felicia at that tea party, he resorted to talking shit. She’s not a well-mannered little lady, she’s a weird girl. Everyone knew now, and waited eagerly for her to make a fool of herself in her coming-of-age ceremony. When the invitations were sent, to Felix’s surprise, one was rejected. The first prince’s. He saw it as a waste of time since he already judged he didn’t like him. Felix becomes scared again, but not over himself. Over the villainess, Lily, who is supposed to be comforted by the prince after being mocked at by other noble children. The day of his ceremony, Felix resolves himself to escape his staff and go watch. He hopes someone else can help her. But as he waits and hears her crying, he realizes no one will. So he steps in. She’s startled, but he calms her down. He’s clumsy in his approach, but sincere. He asks what’s made her sad, and she can’t help to be honest. She tells him that her family makes powerful enemies, and their children always target her. They pick at all her flaws, but the biggest is that she is abnormally tall. Felix comforts her and reassures her that her height adds to her uniqueness. She’s beautiful, and they’re just jealous she can easily be the center of attention. She doesn’t agree. Being the center of attention has been bad in her book. Felix laughs nervously. On that, he can agree. So he gets up instead, and promises her she won’t have people’s eyes on her for the rest of the night. When she asks why, he tells her to go look at the host reveal. He leaves and she gets up. Just as she reaches the rest of the party, the music stops and Felicia’s name is announced. Everyone waits in anticipation to see if Arthur’s rumors were true. Then the speaker changes the name to Felix instead, and out walks the boy that talked to Lily, his mother holding his arm. They dance and the room stares, some laughter hidden poorly behind hands. When the dance is over, it’s customary to wait for volunteers to start a second dance. Only then can everyone join in. Felix waits. And waits. Seconds keep flying by. No one is coming. He expected this, and resolved his heart for it, but still, he’s panicking. Just as he’s about to call it quits, he hears footsteps and looks up at Lily. She asks if she can have the honor of his second dance. He agrees. As they go through the motions, he asks her, didn’t she hate being the center of attention. She told him she does, but if she’s going to have people staring at her anyways. She smiles as they pause. She might as well have a friend by her side with the same problem. He can’t help his own smile from forming, and for the rest of the night they stick close. So starts their beautiful friendship <w< and mayhaps something more.

[couch-house]

Wow people like that anon are why we need to be more educated about manipulation via self-destruction. We all need to understand and know that if we constantly, repeatedly "make" someone feel bad enough to consider harmful actions just through TINY contradictions it might just not be us and we don't have to put up with all the stress, discomfort, depression, etc. that comes from it. And sometimes it's really obvious when it's manipulation, it's not NEVER an option.

exactly bro. i’m gonna do something real fun and talk about my abuser, who did this for years! under the cut

so im just gonna come right out and say it so i dont gotta give him an epithet every time, but his name was dibby/dib. he goes by a different name now i think but from what ive heard it seems like ppl r familiar with him by that name as well. w/e for his privacy i guess ill just leave his current name out of it. anyway i knew and was friends with/dated dib for about 7 years before we cut each other out.

ANYWAY dib had/has legitimate mental health problems, yes, but he also chose to use those problems as excuses for his manipulative and abusive behavior. dib had bipolar and would experience dramatic mood swings. unfortunate but normal and okay! if you experience mood swings and suddenly feel overwhelmed by sadness or anger, you probably know that, if you recognize this as a disorder, you should let the people around you know, tell them how you’re feeling, and do what you can to manage the situation.  dib would instead say “oh no i feel a mood swing coming. :( quick, distract me!” which, again is a clumsy but fair way to handle that, EXCEPT when it inevitably failed to cheer him up, he would blame us for failing, call us bad friends, insist we didn’t care about him, and isolate to only talking with his favorite person (for a while that was me). 

when dib got upset he would blow up, block me for days or weeks, and then later when he calmed down and felt lonely he’d add me back with some half-apology and assume everything was fine again. here’s a list i kept of things that upset him and had this result! it was called “things not to do”

tell dib when [his gf] is streaming

fail to tell dib when [his gf] is streaming

ask dib if it’s okay to do things

talk to him when he’s feeling antisocial

offer critique when it isn’t asked for

ask dib not to do something

talk to him in the tags (when not friends)

spam things he doesn’t like/isn’t involved in ((the relevant examples are bug blogs, bunnies, and the pbs kids show arthur. not because they trigger him, just because he doesn’t like them))

talk about/mention people that are my friends that he doesn’t like

offer solutions when he just needs confirmation

make it about you

yeah. keep in mind every one of those bullet points corresponds to at least one time he either faked his own death or blew up and blocked me for a week.

the bigger problem though was his suicide ideation. dib had a pretty shit life and pretty shit mental health and unfortunately was legitimately depressed and suicidal. he needed help but, living in america, really couldnt afford it most of the time. this is okay. if you or someone you know is unable to get medical health for depression or suicide ideation you know how hard it is to live with. sometimes there’s not a lot you can do and that person will Just Be Depressed an just Want To Die and theres not a lot you can do to help, even if you try your best. that of course, is not the problem with dib. 

the problem was repeatedly, starting i think when i criticized him for pushing everyone away by insisting no one cares about him and not putting any effort towards others, would make some vague allusion to feeling suicidal and abruptly log off and stop answering messages. this can be an okay way to deal with yourself if you’re upset BUT. THE NEXT DAY, after i frantically thought he was going to Attempt and repeatedly messaged him to try to deter him, check on him, ask if he was okay (he really just went to sleep, which again is fine), he decided to PRETEND TO BE DEAD.  he told his gf and maybe one other person he was alive but threatened them to stay quiet and pretend he was dead or he WOULD commit. so his gf at the time had to play along and all of us then-kids were freaking out that our friend had died, only for him to decide later that he’d had his fun and he could now announce “no i just logged off for a little bit :)”

he did this. many times. make some allusion to wanting to attempt then abruptly stop answering messages, knowing what people would assume. (this was one of the pieces of testimony i did not include verbatim in that rk post: i was told rk would do very similar things; part of why i thought the post was necessary. ive lived through the other side of that and i dont want ANYONE else to). i think two separate times that he did this, i was sent home from school early because i was crying so hard (my best friend let me think i was responsible for his death. he did this on purpose. he did this repeatedly. thats fucked up)

one time he posted a supposedly queued suicide note post! and all my friends were terrified he’d died! so i remember someone anonymously messaged kylee henke asking for advice, and i (who at the time he was mad at and had already blocked) got fed up with it (again because he’d done this so many times and i knew by now that there was no point in getting upset, he was just doing it for sympathy or attention or w/e) and messaged his mom on facebook asking her to check on him. he was fine, just like. crying in his room. also sidenote he got BIG MAD that someone told his mom and was posting when he was found out liek WHO TOLD >:( n i was like :)). bc bro if ur really abt to attempt i have an Obligation to get someone irl to check on you and protect you. but obviously you werent since this was like the 20th fucking time youve done this 🙃

he was a huge pizza shit for other reasons too but the main relevant one was that he would use his mental illness as an excuse for his deplorable behavior and blame others for things literally no one can reasonably do anythign about and then constantly and i DO MEAN CONSTANTLY use his own life and suicide ideation as a trump card.

anyway if you know someone who repeatedly threatens suicide or pretends to commit suicide by purposefully alluding to it before ghosting you, or posting a suicide note meant to blame others, you need to get out of there right now. that is not okay and you should not be dealing with that. ive taken years to get used to the idea that if i criticize my friends, they won’t kill themselves

[chnsfairy]

a rose of a different color | yang jeongin

words ; 2,302

requested ; no

genre ; fluff

warnings ; literally one, maybe two, curse words

a/n ; dedicated to one of the best people i know 

m.list in bio

-

ok so maybe you weren’t a big fan of the whole valentines day thing

flowers and chocolates and whatnot

the whole shEbANG

love was such a foreign concept to you as throughout your first couple years of high school you’d been solely focusing on your grades,, you didn’t have time for romance or anything like that 

cAUSE WE GOTTA GET THOSE GOOD GRADES KIDS ヽ( `д´*)ノ

your school had, unfortunately, decided to sell roses and chocolates that could be anonymously given to people. it was pretty cheap and people had fun sending their friends or special someone presents throughout the day

but you hadn’t been paying attention to whatever that was,, in the end, you completely forgot about it

anyway,,, i mean you’ve got a history test tomorrow GOOD LUCK BBY (づ￣ ³￣)づ

you’ve got other things to focus on other than that stuff 

so while other’s were busy wasting a dollar on the red roses, you were catching up on some school work in the library

at this point during the day it was nice and quiet, only a couple of other kids were sitting at the desks surrounding you and the librarian had left to eat or something

no one really knows where she goes

and the only noise that you could hear was the scribbling of pencils on paper or the clicky noise of fingers tapping keyboards

well that was until jisung decided to burst through the door and diSRUPT EVERYBODY LIKE USUAL THAT KID IS LOUDD (⇀‸↼‶) (＃＞＜)

your best friend everybody, with his fluffy blonde hair and headphones, permanently glued to his ears

“look y/n- i love that you always fix up my essays and homework for me, really, but you gotta do something other than just sit in here and workkkk” jisung said, quickly sliding into the seat across from you and took the book from out of your hands and into his lap

“hey!” he took your book bitch you want it back (︶︹︺)

“nope,, you can get it after class if you want~” jisung stood up and started waving it in the air before checking his watch and giving you a smirk

“lunch is over anyway do you ever check the clock?” book still in his hand he headed towards the doors that opened up into the busy hallway and disappeared into the crowd of students

did you want to get up?

no

did you have to to get that useless education? 

yes

so you frantically tried to shove everything back into your bag,, dropping things multiple times onto the floor as you scramble to catch up with jisung

who feels miles away at this point

and after about ten seconds you just gave up said ‘fuck this’ and started walking at a normal pace towards your locker 

aint no boy gonna make you run through the crowd of rushing teens o(>< )o (;¬_¬)

however when you did reach your locker you could clearly see the same boy you just basically ran away from you, leaning against the metal box and who seemed to be reading the back of your book

jisung saw that you were coming up from the hallway and stood up straight, allowing you to actually open your locker instead of just block you from it

“so can i have it back now?”

“i don't know what you’re talking about.”

that littlE-

“you know what- nevermind i guess you’ll just have to work on calculus by yourself” you chuckled lightly to yourself as you opened your locker

“wha- no! i’ll give it- oh hey” jisung stopped mid-sentence as he peered into the same metal box you were looking at

“woah y/n who’s the lucky guy?”

“uhhhh,,, no one???” wth jisung you know its me stfu

when you looked in you could see a delicate rose laying at the bottom of your locker next to your books, the same one the school had been selling to students

carefully, you picked it up to examine the red flower closer,, it was beautiful, to say the least

it almost looked perfect you were shocked to see it being preserved this well

“at this rate its gonna be like that forever-”

beT you wacked his arm as he gave out a small laugh and raised his hands in surrender

“im kidding~ anyway, who’s it from?” 

you looked deeper into your locker, maybe this person left a note or something,,, who knows

“um it doesn’t say...” you said, still confused, as you close the door to your locker

“uuuu y/nnnnn~ looks like someones pining over youuuu” h a its me

you quickly shook your head and shrugged it off as jisung went on about how good this was for you

ok so maybe you’re kinda dying on the inside and you’re trying really hard not to say anything but this is kinda sweet and adorable and omg you dont even know who this kid is but they’re already doing things to you and your heart<(｀^´)>

‘GETTING ROSES FROM STRANGERS DOESNT MATTER’ YEAH OK SURE LOOK AT YOU NOW 

“sungie a flower can mean a lot of different things” you argued

“but on valentines day?? of all days?? come on y/n,, red one's represent love you know”

“yeah yeah whatever,” you said as you continued walking towards your next, soon arrivng and heading for the back of the classroom where you took a seat in your usual spot

“hey how do you think they got into your locker?” jisung questioned as he plopped his bag on the floor and sat in the seat next to you

oh shit he’s right how- huh- how did they get in cREEPY

“maybe they have access to the master key,,, um student council?”

“jisung why would the student council have access to the master key?”

jisung scratched the back of his head and shrugged his shoulders

“i dont know maybe they stole it~” he wiggled his eyebrows and gave you a smirk before pulling out 

“oh shut up, they probably know seungmin or something- who’s mom is literally the principle” 

the teacher had then started the class and for the first time in a while you found yourself distracted, you couldnt focus on anything the teacher was saying and your notebook remained empty by the end of the period

i mean like

the fact that someone went to all that trouble just to give you that,, i mean couldnt they have done it another time?? i mean you’re not complaining at all,, but you dont want to make someone go out of your way to do that (╯︵╰,)

“y/n its time to go, come on” snapping out of your daze you see jisung and everyone else packing up to leave “wow first time i’ve seen you distracted about anything”

iTS NOT YOUR FAULT YOUR HEART IS GOING bBoM BOM BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID PLANT OK ヽ(`⌒´メ)ノ

“n-no there was just nothing note worth today”

“uh huh sure”

the rest of the day passed as normal, you only had one more class before you headed home and all you were doing was working with your project partner, jeongin, to finish a presentation, which was due next week

when you got home you found a small vase from a cupboard in the kitchen and filled it with water before placing the pretty flower in it,, unsure of what else to do with it but put it on your desk

the next day went the same as always, you went to class, jisung annoyed you to a point where you felt like hitting him, but you gave up and helped him with his math work and you read in the library during lunch

nothing new

you met jisung at your locker once again after lunch and you could clearly see the sweat laced across his forehead and his heavy breaths indicated that he was probably outside playing basketball with hyunjin or something

“what’s your bet i can cheat on this history test”

“can i bet negative”

“wow o ye, of little faith,, come on believe in me”

rolling your eyes you opened your locker once again to grab a book, which you were instead met with what looks like another rose?

but its not valentines day??

“y/n there's no denying it now”

this time the fragile blossom was more of a lavender shade

“oh hey cool it’s a different color,” jisung said as he peered over shoulder “that means its got a different meaning”

“hey maybe you’ll ace a botany quiz instead of this history one, yeah?”

“haha very funny”

and that was that,,, you left it in your locker and took it home and placed it gently in the vase with the other flower, not giving it much thought other than that

still you were kinda curious

over the weekend you almost forgot about it, but your mind still drifted to the origin and the person who bought the flowers that continued to sit at your desk

you didnt know how to feel honestly, you had no clue who this person was yet they still make your insides all squishy (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄) uWU

on monday, you thought that this whole thing would have passed and that you would never get to find out who your rose giver was

yet when you opened your locker yet again after lunch, with a wild jisung peeking over your shoulder again, there they were again

but this time there was wayy more than just a single flower

a bouquet of thirteen different colored roses, all identical and just utterly gorgeous

“you know i once read something about the number of roses given to you...although i’ve forgotten about it now” jisung whispered, causing you to jump back in surprise

turning to your friend you gave him a glare before closing your locker once again

“oh come on arent you curious who it is??”

“no”

“yeah right y/n i can tell you do”

“i do not,, because whoever it is shouldnt waste their time or money on me”

jisung laughed and swung his arm around your shoulder, “ok y/n whatever you say”

for the rest of the week this person continued to fill your locker with all sorts of colors and combinations of roses

and day after day the number seemed to get smaller, tuesday it was twelve, wednesday there were ten, on thursday it suddenly dropped down to two, and finally back to only one on friday

but something was different this time

there was actually a note

“meet me by the orchid tree after school? um only if you want to...”

even in their notes they sounded adorable you couldnt just not go,, and you would be lying if you were to say you weren’t at all curious

jisung continued teasing you throughout the entire week, offering to find out who it was if really necessary and ended up just continuously guessing who it could be when you said no

“awww look at my y/n,, growing up and getting into relationships~” jisung cooed as you put the rest of your notebooks into your bag and pulled out the single rose from this afternoon, as well as the note that came with it

you were actually quite nervous, to say the least, i mean,, you’ve never had any experience with romance and you didnt know what you were even going to say

throughout the afternoon you had kept fidgeting with your fingers and hair out of nerves, and when it finally came to leave for the day your hands were clammy and you just felt so...jittery

jisung pat your back and pushed you out the front doors and into the small courtyard, motioning towards the old orchid tree that sat at the other end of the field

“ok if you’re not back in five minutes im going home and assuming you’ve got a date,” he said giving you a wink before pulling out his headphones from his bag

‘go!’ jisung mouthed before he sat down on a bench near the front doors,, leaving you completely vulnerable on your own

breath. take a couple steps. breath. take a few more. just keep breathing and maybe the nerves will calm you down,, you thought as you made your way across the grass towards the tree

in the distance you could see a boy sitting under it, black hair covering his head and such bright red roses in his hands you could see them from all the way over here

as you reached closer you were able to make out the face of your admirer

“jeongin?” you asked, an unknowing relief sound filling your voice

standing up quickly, red across his cheeks, jeongin gave you a small smile before looking back down at the ground

“are you disappointed?” he asked, you could hear the nerves tint his sentence,, he went through all this trouble because he just has no other clue hOW TO TALK TOO SOMEONE SO AMAZING AS YOU OK HES SCARED OF REJECTION HE DIDNT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO

“um, surprisingly?” you took a couple more steps towards him, only a couple of inches separated the two of you now

“not really” you said before quickly pecking his cheek, causing jeongin’s entire face to go red 

you quickly hid in your hands and shook your head,, trying not to squeal or do anything more stupid than you just did

“a-ah im sorry!” 

you heard a small giggle come from in front of you,, opening your eyes you saw jeongin holding six pure crimson red roses out in front of him

“im glad~” he said as you took the small bouquet from his hands

“wanna go see a movie or something?” jeongin offered, hope glittering his eyes you couldnt help but grin

“of course i would”

-

bonus ;

“hey you dyed your hair again.” you said to jeongin, carefully reaching your hand out to touch it

“uh yeah...do you like it?”

“i love it black baby,” taking his hand in yours you gave him a smile “you look really good.” 

[lisinfleur]

Mishaps - Prologue: Lights Out

Inspired by:

Author’s notes: The request I received from this anon kinda inspired me to a plot that couldn’t be resumed in a single shot. So, I decided to start a new series for Hvitserk! This way I’ll be able to develop entirely the ideas this sweet anon gave me and instigate you guys for one more fiction of our favorite Vikings at the modern world. This work’s AU will follow the same line of Payback, so if you liked this previous work, maybe you’ll enjoy this one as well! I hope you guys like it and thank you one more time for the inspiration, dear anon!

Warnings: Modern AU, Criminal Vikings AU, Dark!Hvitserk x Reader, mentions of murder, violence, crime, some angst, some action, cursing and more. 18+ ONLY!

Words: 2384

__________________________

Your eyes opened, facing the white roof of your small bedroom one more time. The cell phone alarm making a stupid scandal on the other side of your room with one special electronic music you thought it was noisy enough to wake you up from your dreams or nightmares.

You sighed, lifting yourself up from your bed, stretching the muscles and articulations with some snaps before you threw your legs out of your mattress, straight into your slippers. Then? Every day morning's routine: brush your teeth, get dressed, tie your shoes and fifteen minutes in a bus before walking another twenty minutes to reach the central coffee shop where you were used to working in during the whole last year.

"Good morning, Annie!"

You could count on your fingers the days when something of your day was altered since the Witnesses Protection Program dressed you in that identity.

Mary Ann Watson. The most common name they could find to fit you in. Your father was an HQ enthusiast and wanted to name you after Peter Parker's girlfriend, Mary Jane since his last name was Watson. Your mother's mom first name was Ann. They married the two ideas and there you were.

You had to admit the officers from that program were really good to create life stories and the one they created for you was really better than tell everyone your father was a fucking drug dealer that you saw suffocating your mother to death in your house's living room before giving up on searching for "that little piece of shit she gave birth to" when he couldn't find you hidden spot behind the warmer, hoping you would starve to death without her and solve all his problems at once.

Surely a man obsessed for HQ was better.

But you never allowed yourself to forget your true name. (Y/N) (Y/L/N). Your mother's last name, your true mother's favorite name.

To think about her was also a part of your daily routine. Remember her fairy tales, her sweet smile, the way she used to caress your hair until you fall asleep in her arms. You missed her and you never stopped thinking that sweet creature deserved a better end than what she had in your father's hands.

You never had the chance to know if or where she was buried or visit her grave. But you liked to think she was looking at you from the sky, as a star, the way she used to say she would be one day.

And in the last days, you were looking at the night sky more often, thinking what would your mother think about your plans for life, about your current life.

About him.

Hvitserk.

You didn't know his last name yet, but you were the only one able to pronounce and write his name at the paper cups of the coffee shop properly and it caught his attention for you.

He was coming more recently, in the last three months, according to him, because he moved to a new apartment for some privacy.

Who wouldn't want some privacy with four other brothers?

Details from him you discovered while he was waiting for his coffee at the balcony, openly flirting with you with that sexy glares and the sweetest smile in the universe.

"Sunshine is already outside, babe. Go there to receive your daily smile" one of your friends joked, smiling; causing you to blush and roll your eyes at her.

They started calling him "Sunshine" because of his smiles. They were so cute and surely would make the entire coffee shop to smile with him like the first sunbeams on the horizon.

But the truth was that you were already starting to get used to your "sunny mornings" since he made to take his breakfast in your store a daily habit in his life.

You adjusted your apron, smiling when you came out from the back of the store, seeing him at the balcony in one of those white t-shirts you thought dressed him so well.

"Good morning, Hvitserk," you said, getting an instant smile from him "Welcome back. What will you want for breakfast today?"

"Did I already told you how much I love my name in your lips?" he flirted, causing you to blush, giggling embarrassed "Good morning, pretty Ann. What will I want for my breakfast today?" he asked back, testing if you already knew his taste, for fun.

You smiled, placing the notes at your notepad and pulling the sheet to deliver it to the kitchen.

But this time, July - your companion for the day at the balcony - decided to make things a little bit better for you, smiling at the sheet you gave her and yelling at the kitchen, loud and clear...

"Ann is asking Sunshine's double mocha latte with extra chocolate sauce and two chocolate muffins!"

"Ann's Sunshine double mocha latte extra sauce two muffins received!" The kitchen answered, causing your face to explode in red and Hvitserk in a delicious laugh.

"Ann's Sunshine?" he asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest, "I think I need a nickname for you, as well, princess," he winked, causing July to laugh at your disconcerted smile.

What a way to start the day!

"They started calling you this way..." you tried to explain, red as a tomato, but he just smiled again, touching your chin in a quick touch, knowing he couldn't go further than that since you were working.

"It's fine, silly one. I liked to know I'm yours somehow".

Pretty direct, not even trying to deny he was interested.

Shit! How could you avoid smiling at such a sexy man?

Hvitserk had that duality you always found so gorgeous in some men around: sometimes he seemed sweet and childish as a boy. But sometimes, like now, he was sexy as fuck, winking at you with a smile locked in the corner of his lips, causing your heart to warm in the same intensity he could melt some parts of your body that shouldn't be melting under your uniform skirt.

You smiled back at him, listening when the kitchen delivered his order, picking up the tray and bringing it to him with some napkins for the extra sauce that he always took of his mustache after licking his lips to enjoy every single drop of his mocha.

As always, he took the moment to touch your hands at the sides of the tray, caressing it before looking at you.

"Thank you, princess..."

This time, you decided to break the routine, caressing his hand back with your thumb, earning a new smile in his lips. A satisfied one.

"You're welcome, Sunshine," you joked, smiling at him and going back to your work when he started eating, sometimes looking at him, exchanging glares in a sweet way to start your day of work.

At the end of his breakfast, you saw him picking a pen in his pocket, writing something in one of his napkins and rolling it in a ten dollars note - the tip he was always leaving for you every morning, making you think he should be rich as fuck to expend around three hundred dollars in tips for you per month, but it was something you never questioned.

He pinned the note in the cup holder as he was used to doing and smiling at you, waving good-bye to leave to the door that would take him to the back of the store - the same way of every day, but today, a little faster, since his phone was ringing.

You went there, still seeing when he picked up his phone before leaving through the door, picking the note and the napkin to see what he wrote.

In the napkin, his phone number and a smiley face beside a little note.

 "Send me a Whats. See you soon, princess. Your Sunshine."

 "Uhh... Sunshine gave you his number! What are you waiting for?" July joked looking over your shoulder "Send him your number, silly princess," she said, making you smile.

"We can't use our phones at work, July. I'll do it tonight," you answered, causing her to frown.

"Hey, you can't use your phone inside the store, but nothing prevents you to send him a quick message while making me the enormous favor to put the garbage outside. Uh? Go go go, girl! Miss Fortune doesn't bless you twice in a day! Go!" she giggled, pushing you towards the kitchen doors.

You got into the kitchen laughing, picking up the bags of garbage and stopping by your locker to pick up your phone, sending him a sweet message as an answer to the note he left for you, saving his number at your phone with the sweet nickname he accepted so well.

 "Here is my number, Sunshine. Can't wait for tomorrow's dawn. Your princess".

 After placing your phone back into your locker, you started walking out of the dressing room, picking up the garbage bags and taking it outside to the container. Your thoughts flying over the clouds, thinking of what could be starting that morning.

One by one you carried the bags outside, too distracted to notice you weren't alone until the curse in a familiar voice invaded your ears, freezing your body near the back doors of the store.

"Why the fuck do I always have to clean up his fucking mess? I'm not a damn garbage man, Ubbe! I'm the fucking dealer, not a damn clean up team! This was supposed to be Sigurd's work..."

Your heart raced into your chest. It was his brother's names...

It was his voice...

What in the actual fuck was going on?

Your fear and your education were screaming at you to go back into the store. To forget what you heard and just let it go. It was not of your business! You shouldn't be listening to anyone else's calls!

But those words...

You stood at the door, trying not to be noticed as the conversation continued, looking at the direction where his voice was coming from, seeing Hvitserk's back turned at you as he was motioning his hand, talking angrily alone at the alley while his other hand was holding the phone against his ear.

"To hell with these childish fights! This is Sigurd's work, not mine! I'll not sell the stuff, organize the money, make the spots administration and still have to clean up Ivar's stupidity! If he fucking got an officer killed, he can fucking get rid of the damn body and clean up his own damn butt!"

Your blood ran cold at the same instant. Not only because he was clearly talking about a murder, but because July was right after all: Miss Fortune does not bless you twice on the same day.

Hvitserk turned around while talking and his eyes caught your figure at the door, livid, looking straight at him and fucking up any chances you could have to tell him you never listened to that conversation.

"Shit." you heard him cursing.

His eyes looking at you, running shivers down your spine.

"I call you later," he said, before hanging up the phone in his brothers face and start walking towards you "Princess..."

You didn't even wait for him to say anything. Your legs acted before your mind and ran into the store, locking the back doors to prevent him to come in. Your heart beating like a drum when you glued your back against the wall, seeing him standing near the door, looking inside at the little circular window in the center of the wooden door.

He knocked at the door and your heart almost stopped when you heard his voice on the other side. The fear bringing tears to your eyes.

"Princess... Come outside, let me explain..." he started, but not seeing you through the windows, you heard his tone changing. "Fucking shit! Damn Ivar, you fucked up everything! Fuck!" he grunted, seeming to leave the alley.

You could bet he would appear at the store, trying to talk. And at the balcony, you would have no reason to avoid him. There was no other way...

You went inside, picking up your bag, finding July at the hall while walking back to the backdoors.

"Ann? What happened? You're pale!" she asked. "Are you crying? Babe, what's wrong?"

"I'm not feeling ok," you answered, trying to create an excuse "Someone called me with terrible news, I need to go, please tell the manager I'll compensate tomorrow".

"Oh dang, the day was so good," she said, wiping your tears "Go, babe, I'll take care of everything," she said.

And you hurried up through the doors, trying to go away through the back alley before he could reach the front doors of the coffee shop to reach you.

He would do it, right?

Of course…

Of course, you were wrong.

Your steps didn't even turn the corner at the end of the alley and you felt his heavy grip pulling you back, inside of a door in the back of another building you never saw open.

But somehow, he seemed to have the key.

One of his hands surrounded your waist. The other placed a cloth in your face, covering your mouth and your nose, forcing you to breathe the strange and acid smell that invaded your lungs.

You tried to scream and fight his grip.

Tears rolling down your face when your mind went through the worse moment of your life and you remembered your mother struggling against your father's grip just as you were doing now.

But he wasn't screaming names or strangling your neck. Instead, you heard him sizzling in your ear as that stuff you were breathing started to make you numb. Your fight failing as his voice invaded your ears, clearly frustrated.

"Shh... I won't hurt you, princess... I won't hurt you," he said, supporting your body against his when your legs started to be too smooth to keep you standing.

The numbness started darkening your vision and the last thing you remember to see was Hvitserk's disappointed expression, lifting you up to his arms and mumbling at your ear before everything became dark.

"It wasn't what I was planning, princess... I'm so sorry..."

And then...

Silence.

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[soupquinze-blog]

Waxing Ouch!

Am I missing out on something by not being shaved? I say repeatedly that my pubic hair is like my portable and omin-present comfort blanket. Something I can stroke absent-mindedly and non-sexually at night when tucked up in bed reading. Or work up into a polite lather in the shower. As a teenager, I shaved my pubic hair once, out of curiosity (no one had warned me about the itching that would follow and I had no one to turn to for advice and so suffered in silence).  I couldnt face throwing what I had shaved away and saved it.  I hid it under my mother's mattress, of all places, confident that it would lie there undiscovered until I was ready to throw it away.  I hadn't banked on the fact that I wasn't the only place that knew what a good hiding place the mattress was.  My mother confronted me, asking, "what's this?".  I still cringe with the memory.  I stood there stammering and pleading with the ground to break the habit of a life-time and open up when needed.  Perhaps that is why, like men caught masturbating by a parent as a teenager, I have hang-ups about shaving.   But I’ve just been watching a TV documentary on hairy women. And one of the subjects covered was women shaving their pubes. I am now educated into what a Brazilian Wax is. I was, as usual, the last person to know what a Brazilian wax was until this evening.  But then, with a mother like mine, that is not difficult to understand!

Brazilian Wax specialists would probably starve to death in Italy, the land of naturally dark and hairy women. It’s a Mecca for men with a Hairy Women Fetish (next to Iran, but what crazy fucker wants to take a chance on ogling hairy women in Iran?). For less extreme but more discreet hirsuit pursuits, there is also an Tumblr group for men that love Hairy Black Women. I joined it naively a couple of years ago, thinking it was just for women with pubic hair. But I find I am bald in comparison to what a hairy woman lover actually craves since my pubic hair has never been on the wild side.

The women in this show included more than usual facial hair and body hair. I never have to shave my limbs. (My arm pits, yes, although I have one client that would rather I never did). I always thought black women didn’t have to shave their legs and this was a purely Caucasian pursuit. But a few black friends put me right on this. If I had body hair, I’d learn to live with it I think. I only need one man to love me. Sod any one else that doesn’t want to accept me that way. During my first month as an escort, I had an enquiry from a man that wanted to know if I was hairy. I told him my pubic region was natural. But this wasn’t enough for him. At that time, my hair was in a natural afro. I told him this and it was enough to secure the booking. He ran his fingers continuously through my hair during the booking. He wasn’t massaging my scalp. He was just enjoying the rare opportunity of abundantly thick and natural hair.

Part of Marilyn Monroe’s photographic appeal was attributed to a fine down of body-hair she had on her limbs off of which the lighting would bounce during photo shoots. I didn’t read this in the News of the World, so it must be true. But I do have to admit that I count myself blessed not to have hairy nipples. Mind you, I can think of some fiendishly erotic ways of removing nipple hair.

Will I one day strip my pubes away, just to see what the other side experiences?  Maybe.  But it'll mean a lot of lonely nights, tucked up in bed reading, with nothing to play with.  Not even a stray nipple hair to keep me company.

[diaryofanormalkid]

Soooo... that guy that likes me but I don’t really like him, I’m gonna just call him napkin guy/secret admirer... who’s not so secret?

Yeah so I was avoiding him at work today and sat somewhere else. And I kid you, not even a whole 2 mins later he finds me and sits down next to me 😭

So he goes “why you sitting all by yourself? why didn’t you come sit with me?” And I just said “I didn’t know you were here.” So he took that as an invitation to sit where I am.

So I am trying my best to be as casual/nonchalant as possible, remaining silent while he’s beside me. Not really asking questions or talking because I don’t want to talk to him.

I’m just minding my business eating, and all of a sudden he pulls out a note. I thought THIS is the day he gives me his number, but I made up my mind right there I wasn’t gonna take it.

So I’m like “what’s this, your number?” And he goes “no, it’s a note.” So I was VERY reluctant to open it. On the first side it said, “hi, BRIT. Turn to other side.”

So when I turned it to the other side, it said “you look very beautiful today.” So when I read that, I kinda blushed but like was trying to hold it back. So I kinda just brushed it off.

And I was building up the courage to tell him “I’m not into you like that.” But my mouth physically couldn’t form the words. Like I was so mad that my mouth betrayed me.

So I ended up just telling him “I’m getting weird vibes from you.” WHICH ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO WHAT I WANTED TO SAY 🤦🏾‍♀️ so he asks “how so?” And I literally COULDNT TELL HIM.

It was so awks for me. I was like stalling because I was blushing from him asking me “how so?”. So he took that as me being flattered. I was, but like not trying to show it.

So he starts putting words into my mouth like; “nobody’s ever given you a note like this before?” And I said “no. They usually just say it to my face. Which IN THE MOMENT YES I DID REALIZE IT SOUNDED ARROGANT.

Honestly I don’t care if I came off as arrogant to him. But he kept coming up with what he thought I wanted to say. But I just told him:

“No, let me formulate the words to tell you first. In the mean time, I’m just gonna eat.” And IN MY HEAD IM LIKE THIS IS BASICALLY THE SAME AMOUNT OF PRESSURE AS A BREAKUP.

so I was perfectly fine sitting in silence like while he kept me company, because it was better than him talking to me while I tried to eat. Every now and then he would ask some questions and I’d respond.

But there was hardly ever a conversation running for the whole duration of my break. So near the end of the break he asks again, “what weird vibes were you getting from me?”

And I just couldn’t say what I wanted to say, so I said “you know what? I couldn’t formulate the words so I guess today’s not the day you’re gonna be able to find out.”

So one point he asks, “do you want me to leave you alone so you can eat?” Or whatever... And i deadass said, “I’m just gonna be eating. You can do or go wherever you want.” So rudely.

I almost felt bad. ALMOST. But then he called me out and was like “woooow, that’s so rude.” Honestly I forgot the rest of what he said because I was so annoyed.

So I said, “how is that rude? I just told you, you have the liberty/freedom to go wherever you want. I’m giving you an option.” UGH like bro I’m not even playing games, I’m so serious.

Low and behold, he tells me he’s going to be rotating shifts so that he’ll now be back on mornings, 6-2pm. WHICH IS GREAT. Because I won’t have to see him for a while.

And I can have peace on my shifts for the first time in a while 🙄😩 Thank God.

So the last like 5 mins of my shift, his trainee comes up and he see’s us. He introduces us and I’m like in my head “why..... do you feel the need to introduce me??? Like just why?”

So I say hi and I’m talking more to this trainee guy than I’ve talked to him in the past like 20 mins! LIKE TAKE A HINT MAN?! saying oh “nice tattoos, so nostalgic. What are you gonna get next?

Do you want a sleeve of tattoos?” etc. Just dragging out questions about him the entire time, joking around even. And then HE comes in and starts saying “idk man, I would never get a sleeve.”

And I wanted to roll my eyes. UGH. He was like “naw, when I have to go to heaven and God’s like what’s this? I don’t want to be rejected for having too many tattoos.”

Something like that and honestly I zoned out, I was so uninterested in what he had to say. But point of this is, he ends up giving the trainee guy a pamphlet for “Salvation.”

I kid you not. And he knows I’m Christian and everything, but like the trainee guy was like “oh, I think it’s too late for me. I’m best friends with Satan.” Like, ouch 😬.

And uhh idk that was so weird, like what even was that convo. So then he tries to give the pamphlet to me, and he’s like “here, you can read it for your salvation.”

And I’m like “you read it for YOUR salvation!” And I started getting up to leave as they were laughing at me because apparently something I said was funny 😑

***

Later, my managers’ husband (who is an environmental/janitor at my workplace) calls me over very seriously and the look on his face made it seem like I was in trouble.

So he goes “this is none of my business, but that guy you were at the table, the black guy, yeah don’t get involved with him because he has...you know, kids.” Long story short. ☕️

Sooooo already from the jump I was like ALL GOOD BC YA GIRL DOESNT LIKE HIM AND HES NOT FINNA PLAY ME ANYWAYS 🤷🏾‍♀️ BUT STILL THIS WAS TEA!!!

So I was like “ohh okay, I’m not even like that with him. Like we’re not....” and I just left it at that because I was so uncomfortable since the relationship me and my managers husband have is so weird...

The fact that he even saw us was so embarrassing to me because I didn’t want ppl to associate me with him, and now look 🤦🏾‍♀️ he done saw us 😭

So I thanked him for the heads up after and I felt kinda chill after that. But the fact that he felt the need to tell me that, I FEEL RELIEVED TBH.

Either way though, if this guy is truly trying to play me well you’re not doing a very good job, dude. 🙄

Like I’m a fricking kid and you have kids so can you like just leave me?! I’m just tryna get this shmoney and education so I can survive in this EFFED up economy 🙄

I have to say though, I felt so weird that my managers husband wanted to tell me that. Or like that’s lowkey sus, like why would he tell me that? He doesn’t owe me anything?

I am so confused. Like girlllll THE DEVIL IS A LIE. IM NOT FINNA GET PLAYED BY A GUY I DONT EVEN LIKE. Nope not today honey! You THOUGHT. Anyways peace y’all.

💀😂🤦🏾‍♀️😩 this whole situation is a mess. 🙄

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

[caffeineovercals]

Becoming a woman

TW: sexual assault/harassment, body shame, substances

Your parents always tell you to do the right thing and to not disobey them or break rules. however, there is one sin so heinous that you can never be forgiven for, and all of the damage that follows is inevitably your own fault.

Puberty.

You are no longer "Daddy's little girl," that phrase is now hypersexualized every time it leaves your mouth, your dirty fucking mouth that is gossiped to have kissed or sucked off every boy you talk to. You can no longer leave your house with your parents being proud that you dressed yourself because no matter what you wear you look like a whore with your breasts looking the way they do in that top. You are labeled as a "slut" or "whore" for wearing the clothes you like but those clothes could be the same exact ones a social media influencer wears but she has a smaller body than you do so it makes hers acceptable. you are responsible for covering up the body you cant control. Layers upon layers you still cant hide everything. The moment you entered puberty you were sold to be a target, oversexualized just for validation, its no wonder we mistake attention for love. But its YOUR fault, right? Because your clothes werent modest enough. Your jeans were too tight. your butt was too big, Maybe dinner last night wasnt a good idea. How can you expect to not be harassed when your boobs look like that?

You were taken advantage of because you grew up and couldnt control your OWN body. But what can you really control? not the people who objectify you, not the way you were born, however you can control the way you eat. Maybe your butt wouldn’t be so big if you didn’t eat so much maybe you wouldn’t be so curvy if you would’ve skipped dinner, maybe you would have a smaller chest if you didn’t snack. Because it’s not anyone’s fault but your own for being assaulted.

I remember in middle school I went to a private school and I begged and begged my parents for so long to please let me go to a public school, I wanted the experience and I wanted to learn something about the real world. my seventh grade year I went to a public school, it must have been a bad choice of friends or something because I did not only finish that you’re out with a failing education but also with trauma and an eating disorder. From being so insecure about my weight I literally starved myself to being blackmailed to sending naked pictures of myself to classmates it was such a new experience. Being told that if I broke up with somebody they would kill themselves and write a note saying it was my fault, being threatened to have my best friend raped if I did not send naked pictures of myself, being told nobody will ever love me because I was not skinny. near the end of the year I got addicted to alcohol and smoking, I was 13.

I had boys stick your hands through the rips in my jeans, I had people throwing pencils in my cleavage from across the classroom I had peers cat calling me. I had a huge mental breakdown at the end of the year and nearly got sent to a mental hospital, I was not eating and I was self harming. I was 13.

Whenever I was 14 I went back to the private school and picked up sports again, however changing schools didn’t change the fact that I was 14 with a 36C cup.

I was told just about every day that I had large boobs or that boys admired how “thick” I was. The person who constantly pointed out those things ended up being my boyfriend for a little bit over a year, I mistook his harassment as validation or acceptance and eventually for love. I was still addicted to alcohol and smoking at the time so I went to The park with him, we sat in the woods and drank my parents liquor that I stole. he was drunk, I wasn’t. We sat around and talked and laid in the grass I was really happy and then… He put his hands were they were not invited, he entered a place that I considered sacred. The last bit of my innocence was taken from me and I wasn’t ready to give it up but still it was stolen whenever I was in eighth grade, I was 14. But an absent "no" means yes, right? i wasnt raped because i never said "no."

Whenever i was 16 i got my first job, i made sandwiches, fitting for a woman i guess.. My friend Adrian's best friend eventually started working with us and every day he would take me to the back room and "Hug" me. He would grope me and tell me to hurry and turn 18 so he could have sex with me. it eventually got so bad to the point where i had to map out when i was gonna walk in and leave so he couldnt ask me for a hug. to this day he still hasnt left me alone.

now I am 18, and over the years of “recovery “the only thing I’ve been able to resolve was my addiction to substances. I’ve pretty much learned to understand that assault and harassment is just a part of being a woman in society, it’s practically in the job description, if there was one of course. But that’s the thing no one warned you about it, nobody tells you, "hey, people are going to take advantage of you no matter what you do so be careful." Before my dad got married he would follow teenage girls around the grocery store and take pictures of their butts and stare at people who had a nice figure, it made me realize that women are objectified without even knowing it.