CHEAP BEER & FRIDAY NIGHTS
cinna’s note : wrote this at 2am n finished it in a library. why do toddlers scream s’ much D: my feet hurt ;;
tw : blood, guns, the usual mafia stuff, one death threat, alcohol ( beer ) ft. chuuya + mori, can be seen as platonic or romantic, angst / fluff !
the last time you see dazai osamu was when you were in your apartment, opening cans of beer to drink and eating cheap food from a convenience store nearby your home.
it was a normal saturday night, one that happened every week. talk about stupid stuff with him and fall asleep on the sofa together with nothing but a thin blanket to keep you warm, the lights still on.
you expected to see him when you were in your office, hanging around to escape his workload. until you don’t.
you didn’t think too much about it. he’ll be back tomorrow. maybe he got sent on another mission without your knowledge, and so you buy some extra food in case he decides to crash by.
seconds, minutes, hours which turn into days passes. and you presume he got killed by the boss. not really.
you ask around when work is over, hoping for some sort of news, only to receive confused glances. then you realise you haven’t asked nakahara. he was nowhere to be seen as well for now.
the elevator’s doors open and you step in, only to hear a greeting.
“hello.”
a shiver runs down your spine when you recognise that voice. “oh. hello boss.”
awkward silence falls and you can barely breathe, choked by the heavy air. petrified. you were scared. you never knew what made this man so fucking intimidating but you guess its because he looks the most normal out of all of you. but is practically a monster behind that facade of being fake nice.
“you’re the girl that ex-executive dazai always hangs around with.” he commented, a smile on his face. “yes.” you manage to nod, before his words struck you. “ex-executive ?” you repeat, eyebrows furrowing.
“yes. he defected a couple days ago. unfortunately no one could contact him.” he sighs. “a shame, dazai truly was a treasured subordinate.” bullshit.
“I take it that you weren’t aware ?” “I was unfortunately occupied with reports. I apologise.”
but why would he leave ? it doesnt make sense. and if he left, the people close to him would be suspects. and didnt he say that the port mafia was really where he belonged-
oh. then you remember why you were stuck in the office with another worker for the whole day doing stupid paperwork.
that bitch had known that you would be questioned.
“dont worry,” that sickening sweet voice again. “well, I’ll have to go now. see you around.” he says, when the doors open and then he left.
you sigh, then walk your office. you bite your tongue, so hard that it draws blood and you can taste the smell of rusted nails in your mouth.
you walk to your desk and pull out a drawer full of small notes from him. taking one out, you rip it into small, tiny peices, coloured paper fluttering down the ground.
“you’re taking this better than I expected.” nakahara walks in, bottle of wine in hand. “I thought you would go out, look for him and then murder him.”
“why is there wine ?” “wanna drink ?” you pause before silently agreeing. “sure. lets just go back to my apartment. dont wanna risk anyone seeing me drunk.”
shockingly, four years pass quickly when youre preoccupied with shitty work.
you ended up being nakahara’s assistant, a promotion that you hadn’t expected honestly. but the pay was good so you didnt have any issues.
when you come back from printing some reports at two am, you find chuuya sitting in his couch, legs spread and his hat covering his face, asleep, soft snores escaping his lips.
you hum, covering his sleeping figure with a blanket you found draped on the side of the couch, taking your briefcase and fixing your appearance, you left the building.
waving over a cab, you quickly went into it and gave directions to your apartment, tired and wasted from the long hours.
it soon stopped, signaling it’s arrival. mumbling a thanks, you stepped out of the taxi after paying.
you walked up the stairs slowly, feet aching from your heels. when you arrived to your door, already key in hand, ready to insert it into the lock. but just as you opened the door a crack, you stopped short.
the light was on.
swallowing a groan, you grabbed a gun from your belt and kicked it open.
“get out from your hiding spot or I’ll shoot you in the head ten fucking times.”
“aww, but you’ll shoot me even if I come out.”
what the actual loving hell was he doing here ?
turning around, you pointed your gun at him, rolling your eyes. “the fuck are you doing here dazai ?”
“it’s friday.”
you scoff, still holding the gun up to his head. “we dont even do that anymore. leave.”
“mmm . . . i bought some beer though, it would be a shame if you drank it alone-“
bang.
smoke hisses behind dazai, a hole shot clear through the wall. only then did you let your arm down, glaring at him.
“i’m not going to deal with this bullshit. I’ve had a long day.”
“the last time we saw each other was today’s date. wouldn’t you like to catch up ?” when did he become so persistent ? he changed too much. but you did too.
you put the gun down your coffee table, running a hand through your hair, defeated. “i’m going to take a shower, dont pull anything funny or I’ll be dragging your ass to the port mafia and handing you over to ozaki’s team.”
“got it !”
you end up screaming inside the shower the whole time.
when you come back out wearing your usual clothes, hair still wet and your towel around your neck, dazai looks amused but thankfully keeps his mouth shut tight.
he was already drinking a can of beer, and you notice there’s small splatters of blood on his beige trench coat.
“so, how’s everything back in the port mafia ?” he starts as you open a can straight from your freezer, a pop echoing through the room.
“as usual. i got promoted to become executive nakahara’s assistant.” you relish in his pained and disgusted look, knowing the friendly rivalry in between them that usually caused fights and included random buildings exploding.
“him ? that slug ? couldn’t you refuse ?” “the pay was high.” “hmph.”
“hows things at your new job ?” you ask, “is everything better there ? you’ve changed a lot so I guess so. you’re not the dazai I knew anymore,” your voice cracks, “what the fuck were you thinking ?!”
tears fall down your cheeks as you get up from your chair, grab his collar, “did you know how much I worried for your stupid suicidal ass ?!”
dazai stays silent, chocolate brown eyes staring back into your own. you let go of him and plop down your chair. “things are alright. altough there’s a co-worker named kunikida who always nags at me.” he replies, not talking about your sudden outburst.
you avoid his glance before getting up yet again. “i’m going to the toilet.”
the faucet is running and you’re splashing your face with cold water. eyes and nose a bit red and puffy.
it wasn’t any use crying. that dazai wont ever ever come back and it’s not something that you could control.
when you come back, you find your beer is already almost gone, so you grimace and pop open another one. the second one for the night.
“you’re working at the armed detective agency huh ?” you sigh, “I hope you manage to get killed in one of your missions.” “youre so cold.” “only to you.”
“you didnt lose an eye after all.” you comment, staring at where his eye bandage had been. “was that really just for fashion ?”
he doesnt answer and you dont talk anymore.
it continues on for a while until he breaks the silence. “i’m sorry.”
“im not accepting it.”
“knew it.”
silence envelopes the room yet again, and the only sounds audible is the clock ticking.
“I wont ever forgive you for a million years for pulling that. but, i’m quite a merciful person yknow ?” your words breaks the invisible wall in between you breaks a bit, cracks starting to form.
he perks up in surprise, “what do you mean-“ “i’m willing to start over. but dont think I won’t try and murder you in one of those fights.”
the young man chuckles, “alright then. to new beginnings ?”
“to new beginnings.”
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Idk if i'm just crazy but i noticed that there is a pattern with something that Uraraka does, is punctuated immediately after something Katsuki did before to Izuku and vice versa. I feel like this somehow highlights a difference between their intention and meaning for him. Like i'm sure this might be just a big coincidence but still.
well who knows really! The first thing that comes to mind to me is how Ochako helped Deku when he fell at the beginning, by being on the side/ behind him and using her quirk to avoid it, and Katsuki holding him facing each other, running to get to him faster than the rest -including Iida, whose quirk is literally about that!
But also the whole Deku thing; personally, because the author admitted he didnt intent to have Katsuki as a positive part of Izuku's life at first, I believe the reason for these introductions was clear: Bekugou, his childhood friend, opposes him and creates "Deku" as an insult to put him down, and will always mean that to him, while Ochako, a new friend he meets when starting his hero school, changes it creating something new and fresh so Izuku can have a motivation.
Non supporting VS Supporting. Out of his life VS In his life. Old VS New. Hopelessness VS Hope. Static VS Change.
You name it.
But then the author changes his mind, and Katsuki isn't just the rival anymore, and all of the sudden "Deku" has many layers; "Deku" also means the one that does his best alone, isolated and overworked, and even tho apparently this has shifted since the current chapters...
Slight manga spoilers, not too much tho (I guess??):
idk, Izuku still was ready to get up alone and fight if Aizawa didnt stop him to give him the T-shirt and remind him they are there. He was running alone, and others have to go to him (in this case, Iida) in order to help him, because he is still not asking for help at all.
It has been brought up again, the meaning Ochako gave it, and im not 100% sure if this is her remembering, Izuku, or the three of them -probably the last one? Iida seems to understand now what Ochako meant back then, and they see it in a positive light (which was the intention!), but for Izuku doing the best can mean many things. What's the best he can do? Act like All Might was his first answer, but that didn't work. Saving others? He knows heroes should do this, but with how unclear things are I dont know if he is aware the class would support his decision of saving a villain -after all, as far as we know, he doesn't tell anyone because he wants to share it with someone, but because someone else admitted it first.
Uraraka confessed that first, and showed that vulnerability without knowing how he could react [and honestly, it looked in that moment like she was mainly expressing herself outloud], and after that he ended up also sharing a similar feeling he had about villains and saving. What I mean is that he doesn't say shit unless someone else was vulnerable first.
Ochako wasn't going out to talk to anyone about it either, lets get that straight, but when she was asked by one of her best friends she lets herself be at least a little; she saw Izuku meant something "slightly" different than her, so she doesnt tell him how she envied her genuine smile, her freedom to be herself, love who she loves, or how she thought she was actually cute. She knew it was better to not talk about that because he had no interest in that, so she keeps it to herself knowing she will fight to make sure Himiko hears her this whole thing would be a part of the izuku and ochako meta kjfskjflajflksja
This happened too with Katsuki during their second fight; after Katsuki was emotional and falling apart, confessing such intimate and sad emotions with him, that's when Izuku couldn't help himself and ended up also putting his guard down. And still, he held back a crucial part -he didnt say he acts like him without even trying, and even tho everyone would see it as nasty and bad, he can't hate those things, those parts oh himself, because they are parts of Katsuki, his symbol of victory, what he sees as the best form of heroism. Despite Katsuki explaining he's confused and insecure over his main theme -victory-, and worries about it being not only unworthy but also the reason their idol "ended"... He held back.
He lost because of that.
Its interesting the contrast between those two scenes in terms of emotional vulnerability and reactions, before a war ochako and izuku are much calmer and distant than katsuki and izuku after getting back from a successful rescue. In the first case nothing actually changed between them -im not talking about the nature of the relationship but just the general apparent feelings and status. They are friends who share ideals and common interest before and after the talk, and the only one who was more reflective about it was Ochako who prefers to discuss it with Himiko than him -its more about them anyways. Izuku stays the same, as far as we know, because he thinks she also "just"* felt empathy for someone that was sad and alone, and we can't see this affecting him or shifting something between them.
His emotional moments with Katsuki? They do change everything every time -when he said he was going to be a hero, when they start to get closer, after the war "Deku" becoming "izuku", embracing what makes the other great, etc.
*Its a huge deal and really important, im not trying to minimize his motivations or ideas, just point out how their feelings and conflicts are different and similar -at this point we don't see Midoriya admiring Shigaraki in any way thru this whole story. The manga hasn't ended and he is unreliable, so maybe im wrong and he admires qualities about him he learns later on, but right now for me Izuku wants to bring him support because he is a human and nobody should get treated like he was.
Ochako and Katsuki also have different roles in his rescue, with him bringing him back to them and her showing everyone he is a boy that needs help. Izuku was moved by both actions, and thanks to Uraraka he gets to the shelter.
Their fight was also interesting! Ochako was thinking about winning this, yet she tried to follow Izuku's ideas and lost after trying something way too risky for her, because she ended up ignoring her own judgement and limits out of insecurity and admiration; when Katsuki tries to use his strategies in the wars tho, he is able to achieve what he wanted -he saves Izuku from getting stabbed, saves All Might from getting crushed by AFO, before dying he gets to weaken some parts of Shigaraki's body for the rest to use, etc.
Its not that he loses himself, he just tries something new that works for him, and im happy Ochako ended up realizing she needs to keep in mind what she needs and wants when taking inspiration from Midoriya. Even if similar, their feelings for "their" villains are different, and that's okay.
Katsuki now doesnt call him Deku unless he refers to his hero name, and prefers to use his first name while Ochako keeps using Deku-kun when talking to him or says directly his full name like in her talk with Himiko where she explains some parts of her life.
Even if "Deku" comes from "Izuku", the latter is closer, new for them, a little challenging at times, and shows respect, recognition and reaffirms his humanity over his heroism. "Deku-kun" sounds like "you can do it", a supportive name that comes from a misunderstanding from the beginning, and keeps getting used as she hasn't change her perspective about him in that way. He is still Deku-kun to her, but now Izuku to him.
Change VS Static.
Huh, I wonder where that came from.
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with marching band coming up(for me at least), id like to yap about my hcs for the gang if they were to be in a marching band..(exception of steve because i dont know his character well enough to make decent hcs for him😭)
PonyBoy
-he would play a trumpet, he gives me major trumpet player vibes
-hes also not very good at playing it, he only joined because Soda did
-actually really good at marching
-either remembers all of his music or none of it
-he gets upset whenever the directors seperate brass and woodwind because soda plays a saxophone😕
-he would take football games very seriously
-NO extra playing in the stands
-fighting for his life every practice because marching at 180bpm and playing a trumpet takes a lot of air that he doesnt have
-thinks the uniforms are cool asf
-he almost died at band camp because he forgot water once
-Darry had to walk him off of the field
-Most hated section; percussion(dally hit him on the head with drumsticks once and he hasnt forgiven him)
Sodapop
-saxophone player !!
-he would be first chair because i said so
-WAY too lenient of a section leader but if you aint got your music memorized youre getting scolded
-really wants to be a drum major but he was never able to 'secure' the spot
-he fell a lot during his freshman year
-tries to teach ponyboy his music/drill spots as best as he can whenever pony gets confused
-not that serious about marching band, he's kinda doing it just because it sounded fun
-thought the uniforms made him look like shit(hes lying)
-remembers basically every show he did by heart
-really upset about quitting band when he dropped out
-Most hated section: Flutes/Piccs(Twobit rants about how much the section sucks)
Darry
-Drum major !!!
-he was like an overbearing parent to Soda and Pony during band camp(constantly checking if they had enough water breaks, ate enough each meal, etc)
-played the baritone in concert band and during his freshman year in marching band
-amazing at marching not so much marching and playing at the same time
-he didnt have enough time to practice at home so he only played during band and so his playing was mediocre
-drum major from sophomore to senior year
-he didnt mind the uniforms, he liked the normal uniforms better than drum major uniforms though
-HATED dally during marching band season. only during marching band season though
-director(s) loved him because the band actually listened to him
-got really upset when he graduated but the entire band said they were gonna miss him + the rest of the seniors so that makes it a bit better
-Most hated section: Percussion(Dally annoys him during MB season)
Two-bit
-Piccolo player.
-He thinks it sounds like a dog whistle and likes annoying Dally with it(he gets hit on the head with drum sticks)
-good at playing, bad at marching
-he has overall poor coordination from drinking so often
-his coverdowns suck
-god forbid he's backwards marching
-directors got onto him a lot about it he just couldnt fix his marching, he just sucked
-love/hate relationship w/ his section
-flutes n piccs gotta lot of drama overall, he just tried to ignore it
-(he started most of it)
-he's showed up drunk to a football game and he nearly got kicked out
-^darry had to talk the director out of kicking him out of the band
-annoys johnny all the time during practice considering he likes the clarinet section better
-Constant 'this one time at band camp..' jokes
-he adores the uniforms for some odd reason
-exclusively watches mickey mouse on his way to/from games and comps
-he complained a lot during band camp
-says hes going sober for the season every year(he lies every year)
-Most hated section: Flutes/Piccs(Its his own section, he just doesnt like the other people)(they dont like him either)(im not exaggerating this. flutes have the worst drama ever.)
Johnny
-Clarinet!!
-Takes marching band VERY seriously
-good distraction for him
-out of the house a lot because of practice
-he has to carpool to get back home basically everyday
-really good at marching, surprisingly
-soda was his marching band brother basically
-stayed as close as possible to dally during warm-up blocks
-liked talking about his music and drill to pony whenever practice ended
-dally told him he did good after a show once and hes never forgotten it
-really quiet during practice
-like pony, fighting for his life trying to get air he doesnt have during practice
-usually ends up talking to pony in the lot after football games
-doesnt really like wearing the uniforms but he thinks they look fine
-type of person to cry at championships
-LOVES stands tunes theyre so fun to him
-Most hated section: Trumpets(No hate to Pony, but theres too many.)
Dally
-Percussion - bass drum
-he used to be a snare but he broke 2 of them and the directors gave up
-really irresponsible when it comes to memorizing his music
-he remembers half of the show and just wings it for the rest
-comes up behind people and hits them in the head with drum sticks
-he doesnt even know why hes in band
-he complains about practice every day(who doesnt tbh)
-suffering at band camp
-pale bitch burned so badly its not even funny
-worst mischief during band camp and football games
-annoying the fuck out of darry during water breaks
-Sylvia is in colorguard so its really awkward whenever they see each other
-actually decent at marching
-he just doesnt take it seriously
-he hates stands tunes with a burning passion
-he has to tie his hair up to put on his hat and twobit makes fun of him for having a 'man bun'
-he touched the feathers of a plume with his hands once and darry yelled at him
-hates the uniforms but is convinced he looks good in it(he doesnt)
-Most hated section: Mellophones(He has beef w/ one of the guys who plays one)
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