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#if i fail english this year im gonna kms not even joking!!!
kermiekermie · 3 years
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i was right abt my memtal health getting bad again
#my grades were dropping and now im having breakdowns at night and waking my mom up again lol!!!#late 2020 who!!!#i feel like shit i xant do this anymore#i need school to end i xant fucking take it!!!#maybe i need to be put in a fucking mental hospital#i feel like im literally going insane#literally nothing is wrong!!! all my friends r doing just fine in school and shit#im literally in the GIFTED PROGRAM yet i have a d in english#because i cant keep up???#idk why i cant i get done first in every other class#i also hate my english teacher he doesnt wven try#like he barely teaches hes just there to give kids bad grade#if i fail english this year im gonna kms not even joking!!!#like im not being held back bc of some middle aged man making me miserable#i dont wanna go to school but i already have 18 absences and like an 85% attendance rate#and id rather not get my parents arrested#like they got a truancy letter i cant miss more school#but i seriously xant do this anymors!!! like i physicially cannot and my dad acts like im being dramatic#esp when the school counselor says well ur gonna have to figure it out#I AM A CHILD. I CANNOT HANDLE THIS KIND OF STRESS#especially when im already mentally ill??#ive very obviously been mentally ill my whole like#ive shown signs of autism since very early on and nobody noticed until now#ive always been extremely anxious and stressed constantly#but ooohhh nooo where did our precious happy little girl goo 🙁🙁🙁#idk im just ranting. basically i wanna kms hahah hehehehe#vent#dont rb
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soo-sex · 6 years
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190311 Soohyun Fancafe Chat (Part 3)
[English translation by junhaera_]
Soohyun: gap-bun-tti  KM: what does that mean?  Soohyun: suddenly the atmosphere becomes quiet (after saying a joke)  KM: our oppa is in the new generation  SH: at the camp  - the kids  - they are 98, 97, 99 liners  - since they are young  - im learning new generation language
KM: so young  - dont learn weird things  - ajusshi  SH: kkkk  - not too long ago  - a 99 liner came as a junior  - wow, 10 year age gap with me  - in our troop, im the 3rd oldest person  KM: kkkkk  - it's a relief you havent seen a 00 liner kk  - it's a relief youre not the oldest
KM: right, you're already out of the army before you see a 00 liner  SH: 00 liner?  - 00?  - is there a 00 liner?  - kkkkk  KM: youre already gone before you see a 00 line in the army  SH: when a 00 line comes kk
SH: ah right  - since im doing well in the army  - executives wants me to apply for professional sergeant (position)  KM: u cant  SH: u know I've got a special forces certificate again, right?  - i mentioned it before  - can i talk bout that too? kk  - i have to keep the camp's security
SH: i gained leg muscles  - not a weakling now  - we do a lot of marching ㅠ  KM: how about abs? chocolate abs  SH: of course, there's abs  - but i wont show it  KM: why?  SH: im not gonna show it easily  KM: if i show it easily  - will make a habit out of it  - kissmes
KM: eng  - fail  SH: kkkk  - what fail  - damn kkkk  KM: SHOW IT, SHOW IT, SHOW IT kkkkk  - say damn what kkk  SH: why  KM: what is Soohyun's rank  SH: can i talk about it?  - i think you dont like stories about the army  KM: say it..  SH: kkk  - ill be a sergeant in April  KM: oooh~  - wow
SH: but my discharge date  - it hasn't changed  - anyway, in the army  - it's manageable  - once you go,  - go like a man for once  and i think it's worth the try  - easy easy - the marines  - ㅠㅠㅠㅠ  - Hoonie ㅜㅜ  KM: im curious about Hoon's hairstyle.. curious
SH: when im at the camp again  - ill give advise to the kids  - how much they did well  KM: cool  - life sunbae  - i envy them  - living witness
SH: ah right  - what was that  - ill tell something interesting kkk  - Junnie  - receive the rookie award right?  KM: yes  SH: there at MBC  - just when he was receiving the award  - that time was our cleaning time kkk
SH: my junior said - hyung, your group member - he's so cool receiving an award - but you hyung - just do your best cleaning - with the mop KM: that was mean SH: ah i thought it was funny - kkkk KM: kkkk ah that punk junior kkk - how hard did you clean it kkk
SH: no, I didn't mean anything bad - he's a nice kid - mom is excited - she'll drink beer - kkkk KM: so funny kkk - i want beer too SH: i really clean up hard kkk - even seniors are looking at me - because im cleaning too hard
KM: why are you trying so hard kkk SH: no? - the higher my rank goes - the more i should work hard KM: should we send more cleaning supplies to the military camp? SH: the cleaning supplies are good enough, it's okay
KM: how's the food? SH: the food - it's very delicious - really - at the boot camp KM: i want to try it SH: it's really delicious when i first get to eat it - i gained 7 kilos 
KM: what's the most delicious food? SH: the most delicious one - stir fried vienna sausage - the best
SH: i have to work out & lose weight now KM: was there such a day where there are leftovers? SH: no such day - there's a futsal field too - really, there's nothing more i can ask for with futsal & football kkk - but there are over 60 people (in the chat) - less than 10 are talking
KM: it's lagging, slow. is it only me SH: not lagging for me KM: are u using a computer oppa? SH: yup, im on a computer kkkk - who wants to do a 1:1 chat with me KM: it's your bday, are u not going out somewhere? SH: it's my bday but where do i go? - gotta spend it w/ my family
SH: actually yesterday was really..kkkk - ey - chatting with kissmes (abt it) - wow - I'll tell you what - i'll leave it to your imagination KM: what is it - you didnt walk on four legs, did you? SH: no, i usually set my target KM: looks like you drink well
KM: oppa how many bottles can you drink SH: 3 bottles of soju - i cant drink that much - Hoonie is really - a heavy drinker - Hoonie can drink 6 bottles KM: wow that's doubled SH: kkkk KM: did Jun drink a lot too? SH: Jun dont drink - because Jun is an idol, he dont drink
KM: but youre an idol too oppa SH: ey, im an artist - i have to protect Jun KM: Kiseop was not there? - do you become an artist when you go to the army? - could it be that jun is an al-sseu? SH: ah kiseop was with his family - he wasnt able to come SH: what is al-sseu? - al-sseu? KM: alcohol trash (cant drink alcohol, gets drunk easily) SH: ah~~ kkk - al-kko - alcohol kkomaengie (kid)
Soohyun: limak (a member on fc, one who said he became an artist when he went army hahaha) - who are you - you keep ignoring me ㅠㅠ KM: oppa you know in-ssa/ a-ssa, right? SH: yes i know in-ssa - ey limak: please dont shoot meㅠㅠ SH: kk kiki
by the way...  in-ssa > insider > popular friend/person  a-ssa > outsider > a friend/ someone who aint popular
KM: oppa what is ae-ppae-si Soohyun: if you remove aegyo, there's dead body (this can be used in positive way as someone who pretty much uses aegyo a lot or negatively as someone who doesn't have much outside of their aegyo) - yah, i know that much KM: i didnt know that
SH: give me questions KM: JMT SH: jon-mat-taeng (slang for very delicious) KM: JGT - man-ban-jal-bu SH: jgt? what's that KM: jol-gwi-taeng (slang for freaking cute) SH: man-ban-jal-bu? KM: nice to meet you, please take care of me (MANnaseo BANgawo JAL BUtakhae)
SH: give me just half of the dumplings - jal~~~ tu~~~ e~~ - bok-se-pyeon-sal? - strong abs, soft slice of boiled beef (not the real meaning of it, he made this one up) KM: kkk, no - what was that SH: ah it's hard kkk KM: let's live simply in this complex world SH: nice
SH: tmi - too much information (wrote it in hangul) KM: ooh~ - too much information (in english) SH: thank you~ - i cant write that in english KM: what's o-jal? SH: slice the cucumber finely (another made up meaning by him hahaha, right one: you did well today too) - o-jal
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