#and id rather not get my parents arrested

[bumblesimagines]

Silene Oliveira/Tokyo

been a long time since i last saw you.

this reminds me of the night we met.

don't flirt with me. 

been a long time since i last saw you.

this reminds me of the night we met.

don't flirt with me. 

Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader

Toledo was a beautiful city, not that you'd been given much of a chance to get acquainted with it before being hauled up to a large remote house per The Professor's instructions. But the scenery was beautiful, at least. The view atop the hill allowed for the perfect view of the setting sun, made all the better with beer and the distant sound of music playing from the patio. A perfect evening and a perfect view... ruined by a voice that made your heart clench with bitterness. 

"Been a long time since I last saw you." Her light, airy, far too casual voice reached your ears. Your muscles automatically tensed, fingers tightening around your bottle, and the serenity of the view promptly faded. You bit your tongue and raised the bottle to your lips, finishing the contents and hoping the effects would soothe your mind. "(Y/N)- Or, well... It's Athens now, right? I guess I should get used to that name before the heist."

You stared straight forward, unable to bear the thought of looking at her without wanting to walk out of the whole operation. A face you once loved seeing, muddled with her actions and memories you'd rather forget. She was a reminder of the person who'd truly broken your heart and trust: René. The man who picked you up from juvie and promised to never abandon you like your parents had. The man who taught you everything you needed to know about heists, about guns, and thievery. The man you looked up to dearly and spilled everything to. The man who slept with your girlfriend nearly fifteen years ago. The man who'd been gunned down in the street only a couple weeks prior. Your brother, your confidant, your partner in crime, and the most disgusting man you'd ever known. 

You still remembered that morning when you returned from a night out with friends, hungover as hell but alert enough to notice the scattered beer bottles on the table, the lack of chatter in the small rented apartment, and best of all, the sight of seventeen-year-old Silene in the arms of thirty-one-year old René. You would've found the surprise and horrified looks on their faces humorous if it hadn't been for the betrayal you felt. Half of the morning was spent arguing with René while Silene cried uncontrollably until you grabbed a few things and got into your car, speeding off down the street and never seeing either of them ever again. 

You hardly mourned René when you saw his corpse and face on the news the day of his death. To you, he'd been dead since that fateful day. And you would've moved on, would've finally found some real peace at last, if The Professor hadn't sat beside you at the park a few days later while you watched your kid run around with his friends and offered you a job; A heist that'd leave you with more than enough euros to never work or be apart from your son ever again. Enough money to send him off to college, to find a nice place to settle down, and to live out the rest of your years doing whatever you wanted without having to worry about being arrested during 'work'. 

"This reminds me of the night we met." Silene - No, the code names were necessary, she'd been right in that regard - Tokyo said, her finger dragging down your bicep. You rolled your shoulder to shrug her off, huffing out a soft scoff. "You remember that night? They wouldn't let me into the bar 'cause I was a kid but then you and René vouched-"

"We helped you, got you a fake id, let you stay with us when you had an argument with your mom, and the week after you said you loved me, you fucked my brother and now left him for dead. Don't pretend things between us are fine, Tokyo. Don't flirt with me. Don't talk to me like we're old friends. We're strangers. Nothing more, nothing less. If you're that desperate for dick then maybe go hop on Rio or Denver's." You sneered at her, brushing past her with another scoff and making your way back to the party, back to the rest of your colleagues and away from the woman who'd ruined your life.

[smileymoth]

For the ask thing. I wanna know your 10 headcanons about Etho. And 10 more about one of your OCs please :3

ok ok.. Etho <3

He SUCKS at expressing his emotions. He does not know what he is feeling. Ever. This leads to misunderstandings with everyone, especially Bdubs since he is very vocal about his own feelings.

He's nonbinary and gender-non-conforming in a way :333

He sometimes chases his own tail when he's in a silly mood and forgets that he in fact has a tail. He falls over and whimpers because he got dizzy. (sometimes the fault of too much redstone)

HE IS 100% A SCENE KID. Perhaps even an emo kid. He had raccoon tails as a teenager and wore heavy eyeliner and homemade tripp nyc trousers since his parents wouldn't buy him a pair

There's always something off about his construction work. When he lived in the monolith basement he sound proofed it, but somehow it only soundproofed it to him, Bdubs could still hear what he was doing down there. Etho has no idea how that is even possible.

He got his face scar as a child, but doesn't remember how he got it. All he knows is that it didn't heal properly so now he has a semi-split lip which he is very self-conscious about, hence why he wears the mask. Bdubs is most likely the one of the few people who have seen him without his mask since he trusts him the most.

You know, he could get his lip fixed via surgery, but he is afraid of doctors and needles and syringes and the idea of someone putting him under anesthesia, so he'd rather not.

Oh and also he has dust and pollen allergies. Because of course he does. :) Good luck with that Etho!!! The mask does help.

His sleep schedule is awful. He goes to sleep in the middle of the night if not the morning, sometimes he forces himself to pull allnighters which end up with him being out of commission for an entire day -- he hates it. He needs to be productive and do things.

This also means he eats redstone for extra energy. It makes his heart race and sometimes makes him shaky but he doesn't care. He thinks it tastes quite nice. But again which redstoner doesn't consume redstone for the fun of it...

HE'S SEASONAL. He sheds fur on his ears and tail in spring and grows a thicker layer on during autumn.

AS FOR MY OC.... Let's do June because I've been thinking about him a lot lately :heart:

He goes by all pronouns, he doesn't care what you call him since he doesn't know what gender is. If he was born into genZ he would ID as non binary or a trans femme, but since this is the 80s he does not know if to call him that or not. He's just June <3

June isn't his legal name, his legal name is Julian. Boys at his school would call him Julia because of how feminine he was. That same group would become his close group of friends who would drag him everywhere. He did not know if they were doing it out of malice to make fun of him and put him in weird situations or because they genuinely liked him. One of the boys 100% had a crush on him.

His dad was a college professor teaching English, his mom was a nurse. This meant that they were barely home as his dad had work quite far from home and his mom did long hours. Since his parents were quite distant, it also distanced him from them. He'd rather call his beloved Nanny his family than his actual parents.

He developed an eating disorder in middle school which has carried out throughout his life, with recovery and relapse over and over and over again. Age 40 his heart gave out and he had a cardiac arrest. Luckily he could be resuscitated but it left him with short term memory problems and other issues.

June loooves her band mates. He'd do anything for George and Lydia. He and George would share the bed if possible and cuddle together since they were both severely touch starved. This continued after they both found life partners since everyone was ok with it.

She has autism that was undiagnosed till late adulthood when his partner forced him to therapy for his eating problems.

June has insomnia, so when he finally did fall asleep during tour Lydia and George would make sure to be as quiet as possible to not wake her.

He met his life partner Lawrence on their american tour in late 80s. They met at a bar and June dragged him back to the tourbus afterward. June was instantly starstruck with him and refused to let him go so they spent a few years sending each other letters and meeting up every now and then till Lawrence moved to the UK to live with him. Law calls June his 'girlfriend' and 'wife' infront of his friends which makes June melt inside. He will never get enough of kissing Lawrence. <3 They're disgustingly cute together. George doesn't get how Lawrnece is so patient with him... George also didn't like Lawrence in the beginning bc it felt like he was stealing his best friend. Lydia couldn't stop teasing him about how ''ohhh you like your little June <333 you love himm<333" which pissed him off. Anyway. I'm getting carried away T_T

June can be very annoying and stubborn. She needs to get her way always and forever, and gets upset when she doesn't. When he's upset with someone he tends to just ignore the other person, giving them silent treatment, even if he's still cuddling up to them. Sometimes when he's very overwhelmed he does simply shut down and loses speech for a bit until he feels better.

He has always carried his childhood teddy along with him everywhere -- to tour, to new homes, on trips. It is his comfort item that is always with him, even if hidden at the bottom of the suitcase.

!!! thank you Ety!!!!!!

[late-nite-scholar]

So, before my kid takes up the rest of the character slots, I made one more Dragonborn. Meet Azuri Indoril, bio below. And yes, the name is intentional!

[img ID] screenshots from Skyrim. The PC is a female Dunmer mage with grey skin and dark red eyes. She has long white hair with shaved sides and purple warpaint. She is at Jorrvaskr in Whiterun and Ralof is with her. [/end img ID]

Bio: Born to a New Temple priest and priestess in Mournhold, Azuri had the portends of a great destiny (her birthsign is The Ritual). Believing this meant she would return their house to its former glory and because of her stark, white hair (much like a certain long-ago Hortator), she was named for her goddess and given the surname of her house rather than that of her parents (Madryon). Powerful in magicka, she was raised to believe in this destiny.

Eventually the idea and the pressure became too much and she fled at 22 to find her own way in life. A year later, after wandering through northern Cyrodiil, she heads north toward the College of Winterhold for a quiet place to disappear and study her art. On her way there, she arrested with a group of Stormcloaks and discovers her grand destiny is much different than what she thought it would be.

***

The lighting in these pics is a little odd, and doesn't show off how white her hair is (got it and the style from the KS white hair mod). She's my youngest Elder Scrolls character*, and my first pure mage, although she does have a sword just in case. I'm planning on her build at the moment, probably Conjuration with a side of Destruction. I can't wait to get her up to Winterhold and introduce her to J'Zargo!

*Edited to add that I fucked that up. Rilenna is 21 during the events of Morrowind. I was thinking about their age at the start of the Oblivion crisis. My bad. Thus, Rilenna is my youngest TES character during the events of their game.

[bl3ssed-cursxd]

Did You Ever See Me As Your Brother?

Blind TVN, Blind 2022, Blind Kdrama, Oneshot

Ryu Sung Joon & Ryu Sung Hoon

notes: posted on ao3 as well. this show literally destroyed me anyways here's the oneshot i claimed id post like uh 6+ months ago ?? idek anymore. they may be slightly OOC but oh well 🤡

Word count: 711

"Father, you are under arrest for attempted murder," Ryu Sung Joon said as he put the handcuffs on his own father. "You have the right to remain silent, you have a right to an attorney..."

Rain poured upon the three, including Ryu Sung Hoon who was still on the ground. After making sure his father was cuffed properly, Sung Joon got up and went over to his brother. He felt so betrayed and furious—Sung Hoon was working with Yoon Jae the entire time?

"Are you happy now?" Sung Joon scoffed. "It turned out the way you wanted to."

Silence. Spare for the rain hitting the ground. It was too loud.

Sung Joon balled his fists, hands trembling.

"Are you happy now?!" he shouted, hating the silence. For once, his brother had nothing to say. Well, how could one possibly excuse lying to him for so many years?

In a fit of rage, he went and pulled Sung Hoon up by the front of his shirt. He braced himself for the one final question he had.

The question he was scared to ask. Or rather, the answer he was terrified to hear.

"Did you-" Sung Joon took deep breaths, the adrenaline of forcing the gun out of his father's hands from earlier wearing off. "Ever, just once ," his voice took on a pleading tone, "think of me as your brother?"

Sung Hoon finally snapped. "What do you take me for?"

"ANSWER ME!" Sung Joon shook him. Perhaps he was being selfish, there were more pressing matters to get to, like taking his father and brother to the station, but he had to know.

Did Sung Hoon really hate him? Has he ever truly cared about him?

"You thought I didn't because Yoon Jae told you, don't you?" Sung Hoon asked simply. Sung Joon wanted to pull out his hair in frustration.

"You came from Hope Welfare Center."

"Scary men there would hurt you."

"Don't tell our parents or they'll send you back there."

The necklace.

"I gave you that necklace because I think of you as my real brother."

"You're still pathetic, though," with a hint of a smile.

"You said you gave that necklace to me because you considered me as your real brother!" Sung Joon screamed, voice breaking. He pushed Sung Hoon away and made him fall right back on the ground. "Why did you lie? Why did you make me get my hopes up?"

"Ryu Sung Joon!" Sung Hoon shouted, wincing and bringing a hand to the wound on his side. "Stop speaking nonsense, I didn't lie. Why are you being like this?"

"If you meant it, why did you lie and make me believe I was adopted? That I was Yoon Jae?" Sung Joon couldn't help it, his eyes watered. The tears threatened to spill. He shook his head vigorously. No need to make himself look more pathetic.

He was already practically begging his brother to love him—like a child.

"I… I projected my… experiences onto you," Sung Hoon admitted. "I’m… You didn't deserve that. I understand if you never forgive me. I’m… I’m sorry,” he swallowed.

Sung Joon stared at him, feeling hyper aware of the sounds of the ocean waves behind them. The sounds of the waves, almost calming if it weren't for the situation at hand. The pitter patter of the rain, how his clothes stuck to his body. He felt sick. Sick to his stomach.

His brother disgusted him, but at the same time, he apologized. Sung Hoon never apologized. Granted, perfect Ryu Sung Hoon never had a reason to. Their parents adored him, Sung Hoon was never the one recklessly getting into fights and trouble.

Why would he have apologized before?

“You… you tricked me,” Sung Joon whispered, voice breaking. “Why did you have to lie?”

“How much do you… recall? Those memories… Yoon Jae w-” Sung Hoon began, but the second Yoon Jae’s name came out of his mouth, Sung Joon snapped.

"It's always Yoon Jae!" Sung Joon let out an unamused huff of laughter. "Yoon Jae this, Yoon Jae that! Has it always been about Yoon Jae? Your real brother?”

"At some point in time," Sung Hoon exhaled, pushing himself off the ground. “It stopped being about Yoon Jae.”

HAHA THE END MY MOTIVATION ENDED THERE

might make pt 2?? but last time i said that it never happened so honestly imma just say Inshallaah 🤠

[kermiekermie]

i was right abt my memtal health getting bad again

[booler]

btw ithink my blog is insane rightnow i m not mad at my parents i get why they are how they are i just want to be free that’s all…

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. To add to your collection of RS's old tumblr ask screenshots (LO canvas league era), i distinctly remember there was an ask where someone asked why is mortal realm so behind olympus technology-wise and RS responded something along the lines of technology timelines not being aligned "because the gods don't wanna share the goodies" (the quotations are her exact words, to be precise) and it was kind of an early red flag for me? I mean, the greek myths are all about gods helping humans and giving them the means to survive or about explaining natural phenomena that benefits humans whether it's prometheus with introducing fire or athena and hephaestus spreading the knowledge of crafts among humans or even ares and poseidon making way for the first court trial in greece on areopagus. You don't get the permission to "deconstruct" the myths if you don't even know what they are initially about

2. What makes me tick is RS makes everything up instead of working with mythology (first thing she'd have to do is to...ummm, know mythology but oh well). She seems to see original mythology as something limiting to her creativity instead of something that unlocks more possibilities for more interesting storytelling. If someone wants concrete examples, let's say persephone's half-bothers plutus and philomelus who'd make an interesting dynamic of maybe two protective/concerned older or younger bros (it'd lessen the portrayal of demeter's "bad" parenting) and she'd have a support system of two guys who don't have the motive to get in her pants, unlike , ykno, the rest of the male cast.  Also it'd even out the playfield between Perse and Hades finance and power-wise as Plutus is a god of wealth and Perse,aside from being a heiress, can also turn to her brother for financial help instead of being reliant on Hades all the damn time. Intead RS put Arion just for some lame joke of persephone having a horse brother and is stripped away from any familial connections (male or female) she has in myth so she'd fit in Hades's waifu mold with no risk of going sweet home alabama that myth implies so much

3. the fact persephone is barely over the age of 18 doesn't help when there's so much panels and art of her where's she's literally just naked. if she was 300 or smth we could at least know we are likely not looking at a naked underage girl, but instead it's like??? you're just praying youre not?? especially when she's around grown adults like hermes and hades?? rachel please i dont want to be put on a list -

4. i feel so bad for RS' partner because apparently hermes is based off them (and everyone knows persephone is her self insert) yet in comic hermes' whole purpose is to simp for a woman who literally doesnt like him and being a walking joke. like idk id be so offended my partner sees me like that?? like damn i cant even be with you in your fantasy?? you rather run off with blue mads mikklesen if given the chance?? anyway poor hermes and that kiwi i appreciate you 😭

5. I can’t take Persephone serious as a protagonist she failed to grow as a character in her own. She can’t do anything without Hades she didn’t fight back against Apollo, she failed to tell Zeus the truth, and hen warrant for her arrest was made she didn’t think about her mother at all being in danger! And her punishment was basically doing her job and growing her powers…?

6. "the art is subjective!" well i wish i wasnt subjected to it 🤔

7. I know this whole comic is full of un-self reflective hypocrisy, but are we really not supposed to find it stupid minthe is basically slut shamed for wearing a revealing dress around a child, but its perfectly fine for persephone to wear as revealing of clothing around the same child they're so concerned over? it's not even a cause of showing hades' hypocrisy, it's just straight forward "yep! minthe is evil no matter what but it's ok with persephone does the same thing!" like ???

8. There's something funny of LO fans trying to accuse Ava's Demon of ripping of LO as if it wasn't already published and popular in 2012, aka nearly SIX YEARS before LO even came out. Hell, it was HUGE on tumblr when RS was on it, there's no way she didn't know about it, and a lot of the LO characters seem awfully similar to Ava's Demon (Hades and Gils being a VERY obvious similarity). I'm not saying she did so, but if any sort of ripping off did happen, it would be from RS, not Michelle.

9. This is coming from someone who does have a huge age gap in their parents marriage(about 8 to 9 years apart) but the reason I don't see a problem with mine is that they both meet when they were MATURE ADULTS with jobs. Persephone cleary is not mature enough for Hades minus all the other problems with this relationship. 

10. LO fans hates Hadestown because tthey can't stand complexity, the cast and crew who love to shit on HxP, or the Persephone actresses who especially love to push a Hermes/Persephone supremacy agenda!!

[yewphoric]

OC Overview: Ragnar (he/they)

[Image Description: A digital drawing of a Khajiit from the shoulders up. He has a relaxed, content expression. He is grayish brown with lighter stripes on his face and neck. He has a dark brown beard as well as neck-length dark brown locs. He wears gold rings in his ears, on his locs, and in two braids in his beard. His eyes are orange and he has three small scars under his right eye. He is wearing ice-blue armor with off-white fur around his neck. End ID]

Time for my LDB! Currently (as of 5/17/22) he has a lot less development than Jenais, but he will get the spotlight soon enough and I'll update this to reflect that when it happens!

For now, though: Ragnar is the Last Dragonborn, but is ultimately a man just trying to protect his family.

OC tag: #ragnar (ldb)

Backstory and trivia under the cut!

His given name is Akh'nor Rhakhaan, and he was born in Kvatch right after the outbreak of the Great War

Akh'nor isn't his deadname, he just chose to go by Ragnar for reasons I'll explain in a bit

As the war began creeping up the Gold Coast, his parents became worried and relocated their family to Bruma

Ragnar was an only child until they were 9, when their sister Ko'arra (she/her) was born. Their youngest sibling, Vasari (they/them) was born when they were 13

His family was somewhat poor, and his parents worked constantly while Ragnar cared for his younger siblings

Eventually he was able to start doing odd physical jobs for people around town, and started earning enough money for his dad to stay at home with the kids most of the time

They were actually rather good at chopping wood and did that a lot, and it lead to them eventually choosing the war axe for battle as it felt the most natural to them

Ragnar got good at swinging an axe and spent much of his young adulthood employed as security for more important people. His parents still said mercenary work was too risky, despite the coin, but he trained often in the hopes of doing that one day

He and his parents were able to scrounge up enough coin to send Ko'arrra to school in Valenwood when she was old enough

Soon after that, Cyrodiil became really unstable, with many cities becoming overrun with skooma dealers

Worried once more about disrupting their relatively peaceful life, Ragnar (who was now basically the head of the family, as his parents were growing elderly) began to save up to move again

Unfortunately Bruma fell to violence before the family was ready to move, and Ragnar's father was killed by thieves, who also took much of what they had

Shaken by the loss and scared for his mother and sibling, they began to work harder than ever to get enough money to at least get them out of the city. They sacrificed their morals a number of times, seeing it as a necessary evil to protect their family

Soon he was able to get enough coin to put his mother and Vasari in a secluded old farm a little ways from Bruma

Ragnar originally planned to work more to move them into Skyrim, but his mother decided she wanted to spend her final days in Cyrodiil, so Ragnar instead decided to work to make sure she was comfortable

He had to go to Skyrim to do that though, and Vasari wanted to come with, but they were only 16 so he told them he'd come get them when they were old enough. He tasked them with taking care of their mother in the meantime

Ragnar then headed into Skyrim through the mountains, hoping to take up work as a mercenary and send regular shipments of coin and goods to his family

Unfortunately, he was arrested right away. The reason he started going by Ragnar started here, because in an attempt to convince the guards he was supposed to be there, he picked the first Nordic name he could remember

It didn't work, but luckily he didn't die, because a dragon conveniently crashed his execution!

They would eventually find out they were the Dragonborn, a hero of legend, and they were destined to slay Alduin and save the world

Ragnar grappled with this new identity quite a bit. His main goal also conflicted with his supposed destiny, and he spent a lot of time trying to figure out the best way to protect his family and all of Skyrim

On his travels he would eventually meet Jenais Oesis, a necromancer he was originally sent to kill, but decided not to. Over the months they would become close friends

Eventually Ragnar fulfilled the prophecy, slaying Alduin in Sovngarde

After that, he and Jenais traveled some more, this time for leisure, and eventually he settled down in a secluded area and took up gardening

I know it ends very suddenly and the actual Skyrim Plot Stuff is super vague but that's because I haven't decided ANY of that. I played almost every quest as him, and it's taking me some time to decide which ones he'd actually do lmao. I'm also vague about the fate of his siblings and mother at the end because I have some ideas but nothing set. I'll update all that later, unless I'm suddenly possessed with the idea of writing his story up as a fic (probably won't) in which case that'd be spoilers

But anyway! Fun trivia:

Ragnar is pansexual! And nonbinary, but I think more in a casual way. Like, his pronouns are definitely he/they and he's not fully a man, but he doesn't really care if people mistake him for a cis man. Gender for him is kinda just, eh, whatever

The fact he likes gardening is entirely because I made a human AU of him in the Sims and he loves it for some reason, so might as well be canon

He's got NO proficiency whatsoever in magic. It's kinda funny, because his birthsign is the Apprentice, which is supposed to grant an affinity to magic, but alas

[maxinaptak]

(AoT/SNK) Not So Gentle Giant: Bertholdt X Abused!Reader

You walked through the halls of Shiganshina High with your head down, fearful thoughts running through your head of what he might do to you when you got home. You ran into someone by accident and fell to the floor. Fear gripped your being as your brain thought of the worst possible things the person could do to you, things like he did.

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry!” A panicked, familiar voice said from above you.

You opened your eyes and looked up at the tall, blushing male looking down at you with worried eyes. You smiled lightly at your friend.

“Bertholdt, don’t look so worried.” You said, taking his outstretched hand and letting him pull you up.

“I just ran into you,” he exclaimed, dusting you off, “And knocked you to the floor!”

“In your defense, I wasn’t looking where I was going either.” You said, shrugging lightly.

He shrugged and your phone suddenly began to ring.

“Hang on a minute.” You said, pulling it out and taking a step away from him.

You looked at the caller ID and gulped.

“H-hello…?” You answered nervously.

“When the fuck are you gonna be home tonight?” A venomous voice asked from the other end of line.

You flinched lightly and said, “I-I’m not sure…. School just got out and I ran into a friend….”

“Well then don’t bother coming home tonight. I got some friends coming over and I don’t want you getting in the fucking way.”

You flinched again and mumbled a response before hanging up.

“________?”

You jumped at the sound of Bertholdt’s voice. You forgot he was there. You turned to face him and forced a smile so he wouldn’t know anything was wrong.

He smiled at you knowingly and said, “Need a place to stay tonight?”

Your shoulders dropped and you sighed, nodding your head. He always knew what was going on, no matter what. You hated it, but at the same time it was a good thing. He was the only one who knew what was going on with your brother.

“Come on.” He said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

He led you out to his car and you drove to his house. He told his parents that your brother was going out of town for the weekend again and you needed a place to stay, so they were perfectly fine with it. It was the same thing you told them every time you stayed the night. You went up to Bertholdt’s room and lied down on his bed.

“Why don’t you do something about him?” He suddenly asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Because there’s nothing I can do….” You mumbled.

He frowned and said, “Then why don’t you get help?”

“Because,” you sighed, rolling over to face him where he sat, “I’m scared….”

He sighed and said, “________ if you don’t do anything, he’s just going to keep hurting you….”

Gentle fingers pushed your shirt up slightly and ran along the several bruises littered across your (s/c) skin. You sighed yourself and closed your (e/c) eyes and hugged his leg. The male’s long, slender fingers moved from your abdomen to your hair, running through the (h /l), (h/c) strands. He was always so gentle with you.

“My very own gentle giant….” You whispered, nuzzling into him.

“Hm?” He asked, not quite hearing you.

You giggled and said, “You’re my gentle giant.”

He smiled and stroked your hair again.

“Thanks for being here for me Dandelion.” You mumble quietly.

Bertholdt chuckled quietly at the nickname you and your friend Annie had given him when you were younger.

“I’ll always be here for you,” he whispered, “I promise.”

You smiled and closed your eyes again, drifting off to sleep.

As soon as ________ had drifted off to sleep, Bertholdt’s smile melted away. He hated her brother and what he was doing to her. He wanted to do something to stop him but he didn’t know what he could do. He looked down at the girl asleep on his lap and set his mind. He was going to do something for the girl he loved.

You sighed as you sat in your room a few days later, curled up on your bed. You knew your brother was going to be home soon and he seemed to be in an extremely bad mood on phone when he had called. You had texted Bertl about it, but he hadn’t responded, which wasn’t like him. You flinched as you heard the front door slam open, and you pulled your blankets over your head, trying to disappear.

“________, where the fuck are you?!” Your brother’s angry voice rang out.

You flinched again and slowly crawled out of your bed. You reluctantly walked out of your room and down the stairs to where your seething brother stood. As soon as you were within his reach, his fist collided with your face. You fell to the floor, no sound leaving your lips as you hit the wooden boards. Tears clouded your (e/c) eyes and you closed them, waiting for the next hit to come. But before it did, the front door flew open and someone tackled your brother to the floor.

“Get the fuck away from her!”

Your eyes flew open and you scrambled to your feet, not wanting to believe what your ears had just heard. But your eyes were confirming what your ears had told you.

“Bertholdt?!” You exclaimed, staring with wide eyes at the two males throwing punches on the floor.

The fighting males paid you no attention as they both began yelling things at each other.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?!” Your brother yelled, punching Bertholdt in the shoulder.

“Someone who cares about ________ a lot,” Bertholdt retorted, landing a blow on your brother’s jaw, “Who the fuck do you think you are to treat her like that?! What gives you the right?!”

You stood there frozen in shock, watching them roll around on the floor punching each other. You’d never heard Bertholdt use language like this before and you’d defiantly never seen him fight anyone before. Your brother got a good hit in across Bertholdt’s jaw, and it snapped you out of your daze.

“Stop!!” You screamed, rushing forward.

You grabbed onto Bertholdt's arm and pulled him off of your brother. Your brother smirked and Bertholdt was about to object when you kicked your brother in the head, rather hard, effectively knocking him out. You breathed out a heavy breath and turned to a shocked Bertholdt.

“What were you thinking,” you exclaimed, grabbing his shirt in both of your hands, “You know how dangerous he is! You got yourself hurt, and you could have gotten yourself killed!”

Tears were slowly making their way down your cheeks as you yelled at him and your breathing was shaky. Bertholdt stared down at you for a minute before slowly wrapping his arms around your smaller form, bringing you to his body in a gentle, but strong grip.

“Sorry…,” he mumbled into your hair, “But I couldn’t let him hurt you anymore….”

He placed a soft kiss to your forehead and you buried your face in his chest.

“I love you Dandelion….” You whispered, a blush gracing your (s/c) cheeks.

Bertholdt’s arms tightened around you and he said, “I love you too ________.”

He tilted your chin up and placed a chaste kiss to your lips. You smiled against his lips, but curtly pulled away when you heard a groan from the floor.

You frowned and said, “What do we do about him?”

Bertholdt pulled his phone out and said, “Simple.”

He dialed a number and had a short conversation, all with your confused eyes on him. Even when he had hung up he didn’t tell you who he had called. A few minutes later, you heard sirens and realized he had called the police.

“Nice.” You said, smiling up at him.

He smiled back at you and gave you a little kiss.

You smirked a little and looked at him again as you said, “Maybe you aren’t so gentle after all.”

“Now this is the life.” You said, lounging on your shared bed.

It had been a year and a half since you got your brother arrested, and you and Berholdt had since graduated. You now lived with your boyfriend in a small apartment not too far from the community college you were both attending.

Bertholdt snorted and flopped down onto the bed beside you. He was sweating extra, alerting you to the thoughts running through his head. You smirked and rolled over on top of him.

“Ne, Bertl,” you purred in his ear, “I’m in the mood for my not so gentle giant…. Mind complying?”

You pulled back slightly to look him in the eyes, seeing that his brown eyes were clouded with a very familiar (and favorited) emotion: lust. You suddenly found yourself on your back beneath your (not so) gentle giant, your shirt already missing. He was harshly nipping and sucking at your neck and chest while his hands wandered the rest of your expanses. You moaned, and thanked god for your not so gentle giant.

[husbandograveyard]

Wootwoot! We made it you guys! May 4th is my one-year anniversary on Tumblr. With some ups and downs and over 300 requests written, I'm gonna go ahead and say it was a successful year!

Monday until next Sunday I will do another Mini HC event, like we did for valentine! Open for all my fandoms, with mystery prompts to choose from.

Until then, I wanted to do a sleepover event. Unlimited asks and interactions for the weekend cause I feel like I haven't talked to a lot of you in a long while!

You can send me any classic sleepover question

Kiss, marry, kill

Would you rather

Top 3/5/10...

Questions about me

Questions about my anime, writings...

Theories (keep em spoiler free though!)

For this event, I will engage in a little bit of selfship talk if anyone were to be interested. Ask me about my F/o's and tell me about yours! Dynamics, habits... anything!

Questions about OCs

If you need some inspiration, I have included a couple of lists below the cut with questions id be 100% okay with.

Also, if you just want to chat, tell me about your week, a funny thing that happened to you, or a fun fact (i love fun facts especially if it's creepy or an animal fact)... A N Y T H I N G is welcome! There is no limit to your asks, spam me if you want! ♡

Look forward to talking to you guys!

Ps, I'll tag these #1yearSleepover if you want to block something against spam

Questions for OCs - Specify which one! Taken from here

1. How many different places have they lived?

2. What is their dream vacation?

3. What is their favorite color?

4. What is their favorite book?

5. Have they ever cheated on anyone before?

6. Have they ever been cheated on?

7. How many partners have they had?

8. What is their favorite food?

9. Are they a liar? Are they good at lying?

10. Introvert or Extrovert?

11. Have they ever been arrested and why?

12. Who would they sacrifice their life for?

13. What are their spending habits?

14. Do they like hot or cold temperatures better?

15. Are they religious?

16. If they could describe themself in one sentence, what would they say?

17. Do they have any overused catchphrases?

18. What makes them laugh?

19. Have they ever lost anyone close to them? How did it affect them?

20. Do they have a fast reaction time, or slow?

21. How do they react to praise?

22. How do they react to criticism?

23. Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy?

24. What are their biggest pet peeves?

25. Do they have any type of handicaps? How do they manage them?

Other ask game - taken from here

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

6: do you keep plants?

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

12: what’s your favorite planet?

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

22: are you a morning person?

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

28: sunrise or sunset?

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

33: what’s your fave pastry?

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

39: what color do you wear the most?

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

59: what’s your favorite myth?

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

68: what’s winter like where you live?

69: what are your favorite board games?

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

73: what are some of your worst habits?

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

75: tell us about your pets!

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

82: are/were you good in school?

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

89: are you close to your parents?

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

[fans-of-the-damned]

1. What is you middle name?

2. How old are you?

3. What is your birthday?

4. What is your zodiac sign?

5. What is your favorite color?

6. What’s your lucky number?

7. Do you have any pets?

8. Where are you from?

9. How tall are you?

10. What shoe size are you?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

12. What was your last dream about?

13. What talents do you have?

14. Are you psychic in any way?

15. Favorite song?

16. Favorite movie?

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

18. Do you want children?

19. Do you want a church wedding?

20. Are you religious?

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

24. Baths or showers?

25. What color socks are you wearing?

26. Have you ever been famous?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

28. What type of music do you like?

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

32. How big is your house?

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

35. Have you ever tried archery?

36. Favorite clean word?

37. Favorite swear word?

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

39. Do you have any scars?

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

41. Are you a good liar?

42. Are you a good judge of character?

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

44. Do you have a strong accent?

45. What is your favorite accent?

46. What is your personality type?

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

48. Can you curl your tongue?

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

50. Left or right handed?

51. Are you scared of spiders?

52. Favorite food?

53. Favorite foreign food?

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

55. Most used phrased?

56. Most used word?

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

58. Do you have much of an ego?

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

60. Do you talk to yourself?

61. Do you sing to yourself?

62. Are you a good singer?

63. Biggest Fear?

64. Are you a gossip?

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

66. Do you like long or short hair?

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

68. Favorite school subject?

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

71. What makes you nervous?

72. Are you scared of the dark?

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

74. Are you ticklish?

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

77. Have you ever drank underage?

78. Have you ever done drugs?

79. Who was your first real crush?

80. How many piercings do you have?

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

82. How fast can you type?

83. How fast can you run?

84. What color is your hair?

85. What color is your eyes?

86. What are you allergic to?

87. Do you keep a journal?

88. What do your parents do?

89. Do you like your age?

90. What makes you angry?

91. Do you like your own name?

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

94. What are you strengths?

95. What are your weaknesses?

96. How did you get your name?

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

98. Do you have any scars?

99. Color of your bedspread?

100. Color of your room?

Marie

26

June 16

Gemini

Purple, Green, Red, Blue

I don't have one, but even numbers

Yes! Cats!

The US unfortunately after that 🤷

5'5-5'6 I'm tiny

Size 9.5 to 10ish? Maybe 11 depending on shoes

1 or 2 pairs

....idk it was something domestic...I was making breakfast

Uh, writing? Maybe? Ive heard rumors my singing is good but...I don't believe it...

Yeap! Ask me how

Uhhh "Air 'em Out" "Say the Name" "Blood of the Fang"

Beetlejuice 😄

👉👈😳😊😊

YES

Uh, id be open to it...but I'd rather not..

No but yes but no though (ask if you really wanna know)

Yes, repeatedly, I was a sick child

Uh...I mean ..a little bit? I've never been arrested soo...

Do youtubers count?

Showers....but baths preferd

Not wearing any haha

No!

Uh no

Anything really ....nothing religious tho sorry!

No!

5? 6?

Left or right side

Decently? I dunno man

Coffee!

Nope! And I never will

Yup! Love it! I have my own bow and arrows

Uh....I don't know maybe Chaos, or Honestly

Fuck, shit, damn, hell

Uhh 3 1/2 days? Like 80something hours

Yup!

Unknown....

Yes

I like to think so

Uh maybe? I dunno

Lmao probably not

French, I dunno it just is

No clue

Probably the 35$ hoodies

Yes

Innie

Right

Yes, terrified actually

Mac n cheese

Uhhhh sweet and sour chicken or beef and broccoli (I have to be careful about what I eat)

Yes. (Both)

I don't fuckin know man..... *Shrugs* sure that

*laughs* Fuck (and it's various forms)

5 minutes when I have motivation

No?

Suck....

Yes

Yes

Haha....no

Uhhhh.....mmm I..mm I can't it triggers my anxiety to much and I legit will slip into an anxiety or panic attack at this point.... sorry

No

I don't even know what counts as drama

Both, it's hair however you wanna have it!

No, I can get like....half maybe?

History or English

Introvert (mostly)

Nope

Lots of different things ....making phone calls is a big one

Real dark? No. Artificial dark? Yes

I try not to but yes

.....Yes

No, I don't think so

Yes! Camp counselor and babysitter

Yes

Nope!

I don't remember probably my one idiot ex lol

Just my ears

No

Decently fast haha

Not fast I don't run

Uh right now? Auburn... Naturally? Strawberry/Dirty blonde

Green/Brown

Pollen, dust, cat dander, and mushrooms I think that's it

No

One is an auto sales man and one runs a home business

It's ok

Disrespect and people going after my friends/family

I like my name, it's nice ...Idk man it's....yeah

Yes...3 Alillyanna, Lyllanna, Kane

Either as long as they're healthy

No clue...maybe arguing?

I can't do phone calls....well I can but they make me shaky

I'm partially named after my grandmother

No

Yes

Purple, Blue, Grey, White

Brown (wood paneling)

This took....over 2 hours .....I...thanks Eliza

[suupernovalight]

Addictive Drug

Ushijima W. x Reader

Masterlist || Previous || Next

13) Crazy Ex Boyfriend

Everything around you felt slow. Your heart rate increased and you felt like you were going to pass out.

“Hello again... y/n” Tadashi smiled. His smile looked psychotic. You could see tiny hearts in them.

“What are you doing here...” you said backing away slowly.

Tadashi titled his head and laughed. “After all those years that’s what you say to me?” He then walked towards your frozen state and wrapped an arm around you. His lips touching your ear. “I should be asking you the same thing”

You couldn’t answer. You couldn’t believe it. You knew he was here but you didn’t think you would see him so soon.

“I...” you stuttered.

Suddenly you heard Ushijima’s voice.

“Get your hands off of her!” He yelled pushing Tadashi off of you and wrapping his arm around your waist.

“Woah there, let’s not get like that...” Tadashi said looking at Ushijima. His smile then faded. “Wait... you’re that guy from a few weeks ago...”

People around you guys started to glance over at what was happening. Tadashi noticed this and covered his mad face with a smile.

“Ah, why be mad, it’s a party after all” he said walking away. His final glance lingered on you.

When he was gone, Ushijima pulled back from you and examined your face.

“Thank god you’re safe” Ushijima sighed. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you earlier, I knew something was up and I just wish-“

“Ushijima” you cut in.

Ushijima stopped talking then looked at you. “Yes?”

“Thank you” you said hugging him. “I was frozen on the spot”

Ushijima looked at where Tadashi ran off to. “How... how do you guys know each other.”

You sighed and looked away. “Tadashi and I were dating once.”

Ushijima’s eyes grew dark. “I see... anything else?”

“Yes but right now isn’t the time, we have to go catch Tadashi and bring him back to the boss.” You said grabbing Ushijima’s arm and pulling him with you.

“Y/n I would like it if you would tell me now.” Ushijima said jerking his hand away.

You stopped running and looked at Ushijima. He was glaring at you.

“Back at that drug deliver place... where I found that newspaper...” Ushijima started. “Was that you?”

“You know, that my past has many crimes done right?” You asked him. He nodded. “So why is it such a big deal now?”

Ushijima blinked a few times then looked away. “Because I’m worried about you y/n. Who knows who can be out there for you. You are probably on someone’s bounty list” he mumbled.

You stopped breathing then laughed. You put your hand on his cheek and rubbed it. “Ushijima, you know someone like me can’t die so easily right?”

“You’re just saying that” Ushijima said.

“You underestimate what a woman can do” you said taking your hand off of him. “Let’s go catch Tadashi, get Tendo on the way since he came late.”

“Wait y/n. Before we go” Ushijima said. “After all of this is down, will you then tell me your past?”

...

“Yes” you said. “Now let’s go”

As you were on the search for Tadashi, Ushijima went out to go find Tendō since he was nowhere to be seen. While on the search, you thought about how you were gonna tell Ushijima about your past.

Backstory start

You wanted to, you really did. It’s just you don’t want him to get involved with Hayashi and Tadashi more than he already is.

It was years back. You were an elementary school student. You had nice parents who would always be there for you. That was until they were suddenly killed by the man himself, Hayashi. No details said.

Hayashi thought your parents were by themselves but nope. You were right there hiding from him. When he found out, his first reaction was to leave you, but then he saw you as potential. Potential for him.

Therefore, he took you in as his own and taught you the ways of life. During this time, he also recruited a boy named Tadashi when you were about 15 years old.

As time passed, you and Tadashi got really close and soon dated. That was then crushed when he cheated on you but back to the main flashback.

You, Hayashi, and Tadashi were a trio. A trio with bloodlust for crime. During your crime days, you robbed banks and such and soon got rich. It was until one day when everything crashed.

Flashback

You were at the shared mansion with Tadashi and Hayashi. You were deciding if you would stay with them or leave for a better life. You chose to leave for a better life.

As you went to go tell Hayashi and your ex Tadashi, they lashed out on you.

“You’re nothing without us” Hayashi spat.

He wasn’t wrong. Where would you go if you left. You already have a criminal record on you so getting a job won’t be easy.

“Are you actually stupid enough to do that y/n?” Tadashi said walking up to you. He lifted his hand up and slapped you cold.

You fell to the ground feeling the sting on your cheek. You looked up to see Tadashi and Hayashi smiling.

“You motherfuckers...” you mumbled. “I’m leaving and there’s nothing you can do about it.” You said getting up and walking to your room.

“Y/n. Without us, you will die. You need us.” Hayashi said stopping you.

You looked back at Hayashi, your eyes filling with tears. You didn’t want this life anymore. You just can’t see yourself with them. You’re trapped.

“Id rather die than be here with you” you said as you continued to walk.

The glare in Hayashi’s eyes grew. He watched as you disappeared into your room without another word. As you left, Hayashi decided to come up with a plan along with Tadashi to get you to learn your lesson.

~~~

As you got your stuff packed up. You didn’t notice that the door of your room opened. You were to mad and busy to notice.

When you do however, it was a split second. You turned your head to see Hayashi with a bat. Then you passed out. The last thing you heard was

“I’m sorry but this is the only way”

When you woke up, you found yourself surrounded by men in black. On their black suits it said “police”. Your eyes widened when they were examining you.

“Ma’am, you are being arrested for the murder of **** *****” One of the police men said grabbing your wrist and cuffing them.

“Wait... I never, I never killed anyone...” you said trying to get out of the cuffs.

The men scoffed. “The blood on your outfit says otherwise”

You looked down to see a bunch of blood on you. You also saw a knife right where you were laying down. You’ve been framed but they don’t know. After being cuffed, you were taken to jail.

During your time in jail, many detectives have been finding out about the case of **** *****. During your testimony, there’s been some evidence that you are not the killer. Evidence like her phone being at another place, so as her keys and purse. When checking the handprints on them, they weren’t yours but Hayashi.

After about 2 months of searching for evidence. You were labeled as innocent and was free to be released from jail. When you got released, you had no where to go. That is when you picked up the job of being an assassin for you ultamate boss.

Flashback End (end of backstory)

You were now on the elevator, desperately trying to find where Tadashi went. When going to the third floor, you came across many men in your way. They all held guns right at you.

“Where is he?” You asked slowly putting your hands up.

“Nowhere that you need to know” one of the men said loading their gun.

You sneered. “You men think you’re so tough eh?”

“Do you know who your fucking talking to?” The same man from before said walking up to you and grabbing your neck. “You’re talking to one of the top mafia mob bosses here” his grip went tighter. “Know your place.”

After a second of controlling your breathing, you let out a breathy laugh. “How bout you know yours.” You then kicked him in the balls with the strength you had.

When the mafia boss fell down in pain, you grabbed his neck and head locked him. You also put his gun against his head.

“Back off boys... or else this buster is dead.” You said lingering your finger on the trigger.

All the men backed up, slightly lowering their guns. You thought you had them when the guy who got his nuts kicked just now grabbing his gun and pinned you on the ground.

“You the buster... L/n F/n.” The Mafia Boss said slamming you on the ground again.

You groaned in pain as you saw the guns being ready to shoot. Even if you were gonna die, might as well make your last moments worth it.

“Yeah... maybe I am a buster” you then headbutt the guy and started shooting your gun. Many of the shots came back at you like your past mistakes.

“Damn ittt” you cursed under your breath as you used the dead bodies as your shield from the bullets being shot.

“Give it up! Where is he!” You yelled as you continued to shoot.

“Never!” One of the mafia bosses yelled back.

As you were in battle, Ushijima was on the 1st floor looking for his red haired friend. Many of the people at the Casino were to drunk and horny to understand what was happening.

“Satori? Where are you?” Ushijima said over his ear piece. “Pick up.”

There was no answer. That all changed when Ushijima heard breathes over his ear piece. The breaths were broken up and sounded desperate.

“Tendō?!” Ushijima yelled over the ear piece. “What’s wrong!”

Still more desperate breathes over the radio. Ushijima was getting more worried by the second.

“Roof...” Tendō whispered. “Hanging... being aimed at.”

“Don’t worry! I’ll be there with Y/n!” Ushijima yelled running towards the elevator. Just as when he was about to get in, someone jumped in front of him.

“Don’t think about it Ushijima.” Tadashi said pointing a gun at his head. “You got MY girl in your hands...”

Ushijima glared at Tadashi with his piercing olive eyes. “What.”

Tadashi sighed. “She’s mine... only mine...I don’t share.” He said trying to shoot Ushijima but he dodged it just in time.

Ushijima then got out his own gun and started shooting. As the shoot out was happening, many people starting to flee, trying to save their lives.

“Where is y/n?” Ushijima asked trying to shoot Tadashi.

Tadashi laughed. “She’s in great hands! She may die, her mistake”

“You bitch!” Ushijima yelled shooting his gun faster than before. “How about Tendō. What did you do?”

“I only did what’s right. What’s right for me and Hayashi.” Tadashi said running towards the elevator and pressing the button.

As the doors closed and Ushijima running towards it, Tadashi smiled, an eerie smile.

“Say goodbye.”

The doors then closed. Ushijima was left with his worries and himself. Out of anger he punched the elevator door and prepared for it the open again.

“Y/n... Satori... don’t die on me.” Ushijima prayed.

Taglist:

@toaster-stick @ashydoesdumbstuff

[wolferals]

🌙TROUBLE🌙

arón piper imagine

🌼@bbaronpiper and I wanted to try something and got some basic keywords for a story and both of us wrote our own interpretation! A so seen little project🌼 hope you like it🌸

and check out her story as well TROUBLE

also check out her writings, shes amazing! @bbaronpiper

*

*

friday july 12th 2019

„Have you ever considered becoming a vegan officer?" you asked the tall handsome cop who sitting in front of you.

He looked at you in disbelief before speaking up:"Y/n, its one thing being a proud vegan but its another thing to carry out violet actions against Mr. Rodriguez. You overreacted and you have to deal with the consequences."

You scoffed and leaned back against your chair.

„And how long is that going to take here?"

He slowly lifted himself up from the wooden chair and turned to you once again, saying:"Apologize to him and maybe he wont sue you."

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

He was the one who had provoked you by pushing you out of the way, making you fall. You had just asked him what that had been for and he had responded:"Get out of the way little girl. Maybe go to school instead of protesting against something you cant stop. Maybe eating some meat wouldnt harm you."

And yes maybe you had overreacted by kicking him in his left leg. But how were you supposed to know he had just had surgery?

When you had heard about the protest against animal cruelty in the middle of Madrid you had immediately called your best friend to tell her to make some signs.

And that said friend was now hiding somewhere, just as the cops had arrived she left you alone and ran.

In that very moment you could've screamed but you were too busy trying to hide. But they caught you eventually, thats why you were here.

„Alright Ms. Y/l/n, we only need your personal details and then you can go. You will receive a letter from us in the next week."

You looked up and listened to the police man talking to you. Then you grabbed your bag that's been sitting on the floor throughout this time and walked outside.

„Alright, sit down." An older woman ordered you.

You unwillingly sat down on another chair in the main area of the police station.

There were two other people you noticed. A young girl, maybe around the age of 11 who had probably lost her parents in the city. And a rather damaged boy your age, perhaps a little bit older, who had scars in his face.

Your gaze fell to his hand that had bleeding knuckles.

He noticed your stare and looked at you.

He didnt look very charming you figured. He looked pretty serious and was probably one of those guys that got into fights on the regular or maybe even did drugs.

„Full name." the unpleasant female cop yelled at you.

You looked at her and then took a deep breath. Your parents would kill you, but you had no choice, you were already in deep shit.

„Y/n (y/m/n) y/l/n)" you spoke and looked to the ground.

The lady mustered you and eventually wrote down the information.

„Birthday", „Place of birth" , „family status (parents names and birthdays)"  and other personal information followed. You unwillingly answered each time.

Great, now you were officially fucked.

„Wait here." She said after she slammed the „questionnaire" on the front desk where a young woman took it and started typing something on her computer.

So you just sat there for what felt like an eternity until another police officer entered the room and grabbed a chair to sit in front of the guy with the bruises.

„Alright. So, beating up teenagers is now cool or why did you do it?" he asked him while leaning back.

The guy just laughed and then replied:"First of all, they are not teenagers, they are over 18. And second, this fucker wanted to rob me. I just defended myself."

You listened interested until they both looked at you, making you look away rapidly.

„So you're saying that this boy who is about 5'6 wanted to rob a man who already has a criminal record?"

The guy nodded and added:"I know how this sounds but look what he did to me! The guy can do karate. I just hit back to run away."

The officer took a long breath in before answering:"Well too bad you got caught and are already very well known here Arón."

The guy suddenly looked very mad again and leaned towards the old police man.

„I didnt fucking start this!"

The man got up, put the chair back to its original position and said:"I'll get the report ready Mr Piper."

The guy cursed and then leaned back against the wall.

You were looking at his face. The bruises you had noticed before looked very fresh, there was still some liquid blood in them. But in general he was quite handsome. He had a sharp jaw, a very chiseled face structure and a shaved head. He looked like a criminal, judging from how the criminals on tv look like.

„Qué??" he then asked, making you snap out of your thoughts.

„Uh nothing." you replied and coughed.

You turned your face away from him.

„First time in trouble huh?" he asked and you could hear the grin in his tone.

You looked back at him, looked him up and down and replied sassy:"Duh."

He chuckled at you.

Then he spoke:"Welcome to the real world."

You had to laugh at his word choice. Next he sat up right.

„Did you beat him up?" you then asked out of curiosity.

„Arón" stared right into your eyes and eventually stated:"Did you kick the man out of nowhere?"

You responded with a small laugh. „Yeah." he just claimed and looked around.

„I'm fucked." you mumbled after a couple of seconds.

You could feel him looking at you. „Nah the first time isnt as bad. Plus, you just kicked someone, you didnt kill anyone."

Your head shot around. „Ah someone knows his way around huh?"

Arón chuckled again. „Nah. Not yet." he smiled.

You noticed a little gap between his front teeth. He didnt look as dangerous when he smiled.

„You know I'm good at assuming things about people. And you dont seem like a killer girl." he suddenly said.

You smiled and scanned his face secretly.

„What do I seem like then?"

He grinned and the next thing he did was stare you up and down for a bit. Until he finally spoke:"Rich girl, who lives with her parents. She likes to say what she thinks and sometimes gets into fights because of that. But she's never been arrested before so mommy and daddy are going to ground you for that."

You scoffed at him.

But he wasn't completely wrong.

„Well. Okay." was all you could say. He was pretty right about his statement.

After sitting in the hall for a little, the old officer finally came back and handed you your ID.

„You can go."

You got up and grabbed your bag with your left hand.

„Hey princess, tell mommy and daddy I'm sorry for their criminal daughter." you heard Aróns voice as you wanted to leave the police station.

„Ha ha very funny." you replied and faked a smile that turned into a frown.

„Hey girly, can I crash at your mansion some time?" he yelled after you.

„Sure. But I wont tell you where I live." you grinned and looked at his expression.

He looked chill despite the fact that he was in trouble like you had been.

„Dont worry, I'll find you."

You nodded unbelieving and then finally kept walking.

Now you had to explain to your parents why you were late, and why you were expecting a letter from the police. Fuck.

•

•

You somehow managed to tell your parents exactly how it happened without being yelled at. They believed that it wasn't completely only your fault yet they werent happy about the fact that you ended up at the police. But on the other hand you had never had any problems with the law before and you were usually a good girl, so they werent worried as much as expected. You hadnt told them about the lawsuit yet though. That was a future problem.

As it was now the next day you were just at home, finishing some assignments for your second year of college that would start next week.

You had taken a shower after dinner and then went to your room to watch a show before heading to bed.

To be honest, you had almost forgotten about the whole lawsuit thing when you went to bed that night. It got late, you got stuck with the newest season of your favorite show and actually fell asleep at around 1:30.

A loud noise woke you from your sleep and you sat up right, looking around all confused.

Your room was completely dark besides the streetlights from outside your window.

You heard the knock again and a shockwave went right through your body. Where did it come from? The house was all silent since your parents' bedroom was downstairs and your sister was sleeping at her boyfriends' almost every night.

Slowly you made your way threw the hallway checking where the noise came from. Your first thought was that it was probably the neighbors cat in the backyard or something but then you realized the bangs came from the bathroom.

You grabbed the first thing near you which was a vase that had been standing on a little table in the hallway.

Eventually you walked to the bathroom and turned on the light.

You got scared immediately as you saw a face in front of the window.

After looking at the person you realized it was the guy from the police station. You closed the bathroom door and unlocked the window.

„What the fuck are you doing here?" you whisper yelled.

The guy climbed into the room. He was wearing a black hoodie with some dark grey sweatpants and a black beanie. „You said i could sleep here if I found you. And i did."

You were actually creeped out. So you just stared at him until your confidence came back. „How did you fucking find my house?" you asked and pushed him back a little bit. He grinned and leaned against the sink. „I stole the paper with your information."

Your eyes widened. „You what??" you asked him in disbelief. „You're welcome. Now they got nothing against you. For the police you dont exist."

You didnt know if you should thank him for it or hit him in the face for doing such a stupid thing. What if the police thought you stole it? „So where can i sleep then?" he asked you and took a look around. His bruises were still visible but now looked a lot more clean and healed.

„Uh." you stuttered and thought about his question.

„My parents are right downstairs. You cant just sneak in here and expect me to offer you my bed. I dont know you, you could be a psycho!" He laughed at you and stepped closer to you. You were intimidated because you couldnt step back any farther. Your back was already touching the wall next to the bathtub.

„I wont hurt you, I just need a place to sleep." You looked right into his eyes that were only inches away from yours.

He was so close he could probably hear your heart pound. It was about to jump out of your chest. You then offered him to sleep on the small couch in your room, if he promised to disappear before your parents found out.

So you passed him a blanket and two pillows and finally turned off the light the second time this night.

„Goodnight." you automatically whispered. You heard a little chuckle from the other side of the room before he whispered back a quiet:"Gracias."

•

When you woke up a couple of hours later your room was lightened by the sun. You rubbed your eyes and sat up. You almost had a little heart attack when you saw someone laying on your couch. But then you remember what happened only 4 hours before. The guy who's name you werent sure about -was it Arón?- was sleeping peacefully, his closed eyes facing you. You noticed he had taken off his shirt. You didnt see his stomach but you could see his naked, muscular arms over the blanket. And you saw some tattoos on them. And a small tattoo on his chest.

He looked quite cute when he was sleeping.

You then checked your phone and thought about what you'd do today until you heard footsteps coming upstairs.

Your mom! She always says goodbye before work. Its like a mother-daughter tradition because once when you were a kid and she didnt say bye you had a panic attack because you thought something happened to her. You jumped up from the bed towards the couch.

„Wake up! Wake up! You gotta hide, my mom's coming!" you shook him to wake him up. He replied with a raspy groan and eventually opened his eyes.

„Huh?" he asked confused looking at you. -„Hide! My mom!" You whispered and waited for him to get in the closet.

But since he took so long realizing what was going on, it happened what had to happen.

Your mom was standing in your room, staring at both of you. You in your oversized shirt and no pants and this strange boy shirtless. You were fucked.

„Uhh y/n?" she asked and looked at you in confusion.

You were all staring each other down until Arón spoke up:"Mrs. Y/l/n, im so sorry. My name is Arón, I'm your daughters boyfriend." He shook her hand smiling. Your mother on the other hand looked confused as hell. Just as you. Did he just call himself your boyfriend?

„Oh. I didnt know she had a boyfriend." Your mom replied and then actually chuckled. She laughed! She wasnt mad?

„I have to go to work now but nice to meet you Arón. See you later honey, i think we have to talk."

She said after none of you said anything.

„Likewise" Arón spoke before your mom left your room and closed the door.

„What the hell?" you yelled at him and lightly punched him in the chest.

„I had no choice. What do you want me to do? Say that I broke in here because we met at the police station?"

You ran your hand through your hair and then said:"Please go. I'm in enough trouble already. Please leave."

He nodded, then grabbed his sweater and put it back on.

„Can i sleep here tonight too? I dont really know where to go." he asked while picking up his things.

You rolled your eyes but nodded softly.

„Thank you!" He smiled and came up to you.

„Sure." you replied and crossed your arms.

He opened the door to your room and whispered a „see you tonight" before finally leaving your house.

You didnt really trust this guy. Something about him was off but you didnt know quite yet what it was.

•

•

Arón's been crashing at your place for a week now and a lot of weird things happened inbetween. You only saw him at night when he climbed through your bedroom or the bathroom window. Then you usually went to bed and in the morning he left. You never knew where he went and you also didnt know why he couldnt sleep at his parents'.

Your mom and dad had both talked to him before and actually believed he was your boyfriend. Around them he acted like an angel but you knew he wasnt. I mean, he's never insulted you or been rude but he certainly wasnt an example of a good guy.

One night as you were sleeping, him laying on your couch, you were woken by someones voice talking in your room.

Arón was walking around your carpet, speaking into his phone loudly.

„Whats up?" you whispered and looked at him all sleepy.

He showed you he needed a second and kept discussion in spanish.

He was pretty loud and you were worried your parents might wake up from his voice. And he seemed mad, almost aggressive.

He then hung up and before you knew, he slammed his phone on the wall. It broke immediately, shocking you intensely.

„Jeez what the fuck!" you spoke and got up from the bed.

Arón in the meantime put on his jacked and wanted to walk out of the room but you chased him, trying not to make too much noise walking downstairs.

„Where are you going?" you asked.

„I need to see someone before this certain person wakes your parents." he boldly spoke and opened the front door.

You were only wearing shorts and a top and it was chilly outside. But you were far too concerned to grab a jacket.

You closed the door behind you and ran after him.

„Y/n go to bed." he then ordered as he kept walking.

„No i need to know whats happening."

He scoffed at you and finally stopped as you both reached a person standing around the corner.

Aron was just standing there staring at the dark dressed man.

You were right behind him, carefully taking a look.

„Arón." the guy finally spoke and came up to you both, grabbing aron by the jacket.

„What do you want?" arón asked the man, sounding as if he was about to rip his head off.

„Needed to see you little brother." the guy replied and then noticed you hiding behind Aróns back.

„Oh got yourself a girlfriend huh?" he grinned and walked around him to get closer to you.

„Hey you." he smiled and reached out to touch you but you backed off and mustered him.

„She's hot." the guy then said and turned around to arón again.

„What the fuck are you doing here Juan?" Arón finally spoke up. „Taking you home. Mom is worried about you."

Aron laughed fake before claiming:"Oh really?"

Juan stepped right in front of Aron and looked at him.

„I like your new haircut brother. You look like a prisoner."

Arón didnt reply, he clenched his fist as if he was about to hit.

„If you keep going like that, you will be soon." Juan added and smiled at him.

„Fuck off im not coming home." arón mumbled and wanted to step back but Juan grabbed his arm and answered:"You. Are coming with me. Because I say so."

Aron freed his arm and yelled:"Get out of my life."

You just watched as they were yelling at each other. The reason for Aróns stubbornness wasnt quite clear for you until he said one specific thing:"Mom and Dad dont want me back! All they want was you. You're the only son they ever wanted."

He was jealous of his big brother.

What you figured out from their conversation, Juan was a troublemaker himself but then started studying and was now about to be a lawyer. Apparently their parents had always supported him, even though he used to be in deep shit often times. Arón kept claiming that he was „nothing to their parents".

At some point the situation escalated and Juan grabbed Aron rather harshly and Aron pushed him back. Which made Juan fall to the ground, hitting his head on the concrete.

Juan looked even more furious than Aron then.

He got up again and basically jumped arón.

You felt useless, watching those brothers fight in the middle of the streets.

But suddenly you decided to do something.

You went up to them and jumped on Arons back to make him stop.

„Stop this shit before someone calls the cops!" you tried to calm them down.

But Aron was so furious he threw you right off.

You landed on your back rather harshly, moaning out in pain. It had been really fucking painful.

He didnt even notice that he had hurt you, they kept yelling at each other until you heard police sirens getting closer.

Juan seemed to notice as well and let go of Aron.

„You know what, fuck you! You're useless to this family. Come back after achieving something!" Juan yelled and just disappeared between the streetlights and the bushes.

„Fuck." Aron cursed and finally turned around to you.

„Run!" he then said as the police car turned around the corner.

You got up in pain and grabbed his reached out hand.

„Faster!" he told you and pulled you with him as he was running super fast. You almost stumbled over your own feet.

„Where?" you just asked and concentrated on running as fast as you could.

Usually you hated running but right now it felt good. Free kind of. You had never run from the cops, especially not with a known criminal who wasnt as bad as you thought.

„Fuck, run faster." he yelled but you couldnt go any faster.

Eventually he let go of you to make you jump into a bush.

The cops were right behind you but didnt seem to notice you hiding, they ran past you after Aron.

And aron on the other hand did something you hasnt expected. He stopped running.

He turned around and put his hands up in the air.

What the fuck was he doing?

The police reached him and put him in a secure grip in a fast motion. He couldve gotten away easily if he hadnt stopped!

They grabbed him by the arm and pulled him through the alley of trees towards the police car.

You looked him straight in the eyes as they walked past you. He inconspicuously smiled at you.

What was he doing?

As they sat him in the police car you slowly got out of the bush.

So you just stood there. They couldve seen you but you didnt care, you just wanted to see what was happening.

Some of your neighbors were outside looking as well.

Before the car took off you felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket.

Who would text you at 3am?

You took it and opened the message.

You started to smile and looked up to see him smiling at you from the police car.

Arón:"Can I crash again when I get out?"

⭐️

[stareyedplanet]

Secrets [p.p.]

pairing: peter parker x fem!reader word count: 1505 warnings: one cuss word, mentions of the selling of drugs, hurt, pre established relationship summary: dating peter parker seemed like the best decision at first, but then you started to notice how secretive he was. note: this was technically a continuation of ‘rivalry’ for the challenge thing i had mentioned, but it can be read as a stand alone! hope you enjoy!

IT HAD BEEN THREE MONTHS INTO YOU AND PETER'S RELATIONSHIP WHEN YOU STARTED TO NOTICE SOMETHING WAS UP. While you would never have described Peter as normal, you never would have described him as flaky like he was seeming to be.

You two didn't really have dates, per say, rather hang outs at each other's houses. Some days they were merely study sessions that turned into lazy hours of talking and laying on each other's stomachs, and other days you just sat on the couch and watched movies until you couldn't keep their eyes open.

But you were getting frustrated with the constant cancellations and lame excuses Peter seemed to have an endless supply of.

You knew when you saw Peter's goofy picture on your caller ID that it was going to be another apologetic call from the boy. You really did like him, but there was something you knew he wasn't telling you. And really, it was concerning. If he wasn't being honest now, you wondered if he would be in the future.

"What is it this time?" You sighed as you answered the call, making the boy wince.

He really hated cancelling on you, especially when he was a terrible liar in the first place. But it wasn't as though he had a choice. Peter hardly could control when the friendly neighborhood Spider Man was needed.

"Hey, Jellybean. Can't I just call to say hi?" Peter tried.

"No. You never call me unless you are having to cancel. So what is it this time? Peter this is the second time this week. And it is only Wednesday!" You huffed as you swung your legs in the air on your bed.

"I'm really sorry, Jellybean. But... the Stark Internship. Mr. Stark needs me to do something really important. I'm really, really sorry." He said, and you could practically hear the puppy dog eyes he was making.

"You always are, Peter. Guess I'll see you at school tomorrow." You said, clearly sounding very disappointed. Was it so bad you just wanted to hang out with your boyfriend without the fear of him running off? You knew it wasn't, but the thought made you feel selfish. You knew she couldn't be his entire life, but at the same time, you felt like you weren't even on his list of priorities.

"No, Y/N. I'll make it up to you, I swear, okay? I just. I have to do this." He tried, wanting you to understand.

He had been tracking this group of drug dealers for weeks, and it wasn't just some group of teenagers selling in some back alley. These guys were dangerous. What they were selling was laced and people were dying. They had guns and knives and it was terrifying because they kept getting closer to your neighborhood.

And all he could think about was keeping it away from you and keeping you safe. He knew you weren't the type to do drugs, but he didn't want you to end up in the wrong place at the wrong time and get yourself hurt.

Really in his eyes, it was better to be the one to hurt your feelings by cancelling, over you getting physically hurt from these drug dealers. He just hated that he couldn't tell you the real reasoning. Maybe he could still warn you about them though. He just wanted you to stay safe. He could handle being the bad guy.

Regardless, the way you hung up with an unconvinced 'sure' still hurt. But he couldn't let it distract him. He had work to do to make sure the bad guys got arrested. His mind couldn't be on his girlfriend.

You on the other hand felt like his mind needed to be on you more than it was, at least if you both wanted to continue dating. The constant disappointment made you wonder if staying with Peter was really worth it, or if in reality you all needed to end things before either of you got too invested.

It kept your mind racing the entire night, leaving you awake until the early hours of the morning. Finally you drifted off into a restless sleep, but it wasn't long before you were hearing odd thumps against the window, waking you up and setting you on high alert.

Your parents were gone for the weekend, and so it made the noises even more terrifying. Hesitantly, you crawled out of your bed, looking around the room for anything that could be used as a weapon.

Eventually, you laid your hands on a spelling bee trophy you had gotten when you were little before you crept through the apartment to the source of the noise. Following it to one of the windows in the living room, you yelped when you saw none other than Spider Man leaned against the glass, weakly knocking his hand against it.

Not knowing what else to do, you rushed over and opened the window, watching as he slumped slightly.

"Spider Man? What are you doing here?" You asked, your eyes wide.

"Jellybean... please. I need your help." He croaked, turning his head to look at you.

You frowned, your heart rate increasing when he called you Jellybean. That was Peter's nickname for you. But surely...

Hesitantly, you reached forward and wrapped your fingers around the top of the mask he wore, Spider Man not even fighting you as you pulled it off, gasping and jolting backward when Peter's bruised and tired face was revealed.

"Oh my god, Peter." You said, eventually rushing forward to help him inside. "You're Spider Man?" You asked in disbelief. You never expected your Peter Parker to be Spiderman.

"Yeah," he replied sheepishly.

"What happened to you?" You asked desperately as you tried to figure out how to get the suit off.

"H–Hit the emblem in the middle." He croaked the instruction out, you quickly following the command and hitting the black spider, his suit loosening around him.

You were quick to push it off of his body, not even having time to process that Peter was a lot more ripped than you ever would have thought. You really didn't know nearly as much about him as you thought.

"Peter, where does it hurt?" You asked. You knew he must be bleeding somewhere due to his paled face, but you had no idea where.

"S–Side." He gasped out. You hadn't pushed the suit down enough to uncover where he had gotten grazed. Everything was happening so quickly you hadn't even seen the tear in his suit before.

"Okay. Peter, it's gonna be okay." You assured him as you shimmied the suit off his body even more, wincing when you saw the wound. "Shit." You said softly, your eyes wide.

You stood up and rushed over to the bathroom, digging around for the first aid kit and washing your hands before looking for something to sterilize the wound. You came back, helping him onto some towels on the ground so you wouldn't ruin the furniture.

"I–I shouldn't be doing this. We should call someone." You told him, knowing you were hardly trained to properly take care of him.

"Can't. Please, Jellybean." He said softly. He hadn't lost too much blood, but after he was hit he had to fight his way out, and it had taken so much energy out of him.

"Okay. Fine. Fine. But you gotta tell me how this happened." You said, before deciding to clarify. "The getting shot. We'll be talking about the Spider Man thing later."

Peter nodded in understanding, knowing it was a conversation to come.

"I was... dealing with some drug dealers." He winced as you sterilized the wound, pouring some alcohol on it. "Real dangerous ones. They—They were getting too close to your neighborhood."

You frowned as you grabbed what little gauze you had to put against the graze. "Okay... and? Peter you could have gotten killed." You said, shaking your head.

"I couldn't let you be near that. Couldn't risk them hurting you." He said softly as he grabbed for your hand.

"So you got hurt instead? God, you're such an idiot." You sighed, shaking her head. "A cute one, but an idiot nonetheless."

Peter couldn't help but give you a weak smile. He knew you were teasing him to make yourself worry less. "I just had to keep you safe, Jellybean." He said softly, reaching out to brush hair behind your ear.

“Yeah, well, next time? Next time you gotta talk to me. And actually, I don’t want there to be a next time of you getting shot.” You said stubbornly as you patched him up.

“I’ll do my best, Y/N. I pinky promise.” He said softly, holding up his pinky for you.

You stopped for a moment to look at him before wrapping your pinky around his. “Good. Because I can’t lose you.” You said.

He smiled weakly and you leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips. You’d be okay. You knew that now.

[rora-s]

The Derivative  Chapter 2: Shots

Chapter 1<- 

I stared across the darkened classroom at my blinders. They were perched in captivity on my history teachers desk. Stolen away from me and promised release upon the end of class today. The teacher himself was blathering on about something that I didn’t find important about how history continues on today. It seemed rather a redundant point to make. Of course we were living history I mean at one point every person we learn about in history had been in their present time.

There was movement in the corner of my vision and I turned to see Mr. Hopkins had turned on the tv in the room. “...let’s see what’s on the news nowadays as an example.” after flipping past a couple static filled channels Hopkins finally found the news station he was looking for.

I was about to turn back to my thoughts when I caught what the reporter was saying “This is a live breaking report from the channel 8 news. Flying over Central Los Angeles Savings Bank. I can see multiple people lying on the ground. One appears to be a federal agent several bystanders also seemed to have been injured in the crossfire, where the shoot out between federal agents and suspected bank robbers is in progress...”

I felt like ice water had just been pumped through my veins. I froze completely in shock. I remembered back to just the other night when Don had asked Charlie for help tracking bank robbers. Could it be the same robbers? Could Don be in the shootout? Was he injured? The class continued to watch through a car explosion and more gun fire and more cops arriving. Even into the aftermath.

“I’m receiving confirmation that three people were killed in his tragic incident one of which being an FBI agent. ” The bell rang and Hopkins turned off the tv. Seeming only to have been half listening. Most of the students in the class only seemed to be half listening.

I however was shaking. I was terrified. What if it was Don? What if he was dead? Shot down in front of a bank. I swallowed the lump in my throat rising from my desk with the rest of my classmates. I sweeped by the teacher’s desk and rescued my blinders before heading into the hallway.

My next class didn’t seem at all important as I ducked into the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I pulled out my phone and speed dialed my father’s number. He didn’t pick up. I tried again. More of the same. I tried Alan; he didn’t answer either nor did Charlie. I repeated Don, Alan, Charlie. No one would pick up their phone. After hearing my father’s voice mail for the fifth time. I pocketed my cell and grabbed my backpack.

The hallway was clear as the final class of the day had already started. I headed straight for the exit. I was going to catch a bus to Alan’s house and get some answers. I was stopped by a hand on my shoulder.

“Abby Calvin” the voice spoke. I turned to see none other than the school principal smiling down on me with a fake grin. “Skipping class are we?”

“Sir I was-”

He held up a hand “this is the third time in the last two weeks you’ve skipped a class. It’s not happening again, come on” he led me to the office.

The rest of my time at school was taken up by me being talked at by the principal. I tried to explain what was happening multiple times. He wouldn’t hear it and I was given a note for Don to read when I got home. My stomach churned as I imagined him shot to death in front of a bank. I quickly banned the image and beat my imagination into submission.

I tried each of the men I called family again twice on the bus before I was let off at the apartment building. I hurried up to my and Don’s apartment and let myself in. I threw my backpack on the couch and turned on the news grasping for any information that it might tell me.

As I sat watching the various unrelated news streams and casters talking about things I could care less about. I felt a sharp pain hit my head like a rock and with a blink I suddenly wasn’t sitting on the couch in Don’s living room.

I was crouched by a fire. I could hear the rain. People were talking all around me, there was music, laughing. Then there were shots. They echoed loudly in-

I stood and shook my head like it was wet. Pushing away the intrusive memory. I grabbed my binders out of my pocket putting them on and taking multiple deep breaths to try and calm down. I didn’t want to think about that. I didn’t want to think about her.

_________________ 3rd POV.

Don sighed sitting down on his desk and pinching the bridge of his nose. Tonight was not going well for him. His arm hurt and his head hurt. Worse he had just gotten back from talking to Agent McKnight's parents at their hotel. Nothing hurt worse than the look on McKnight’s mother's face when he told her what happened.

“I should be looking at mugshots, right?” Don voiced to Terry who was at her own desk nearby.

“Did you get a good look?” she inquired.

“Yeah, definitely” the man muttered in reply. Just then his phone rang. He pulled it out and glanced at the caller ID. It was Abby he was about to answer it.

“Agent Eppes.” Don turned to see the forensic scientist had appeared nearby. “That piece of evidence you found at the scene. We know what it is”

“Excellent” he told her and glanced back at his phone declining the call from his daughter and making a note to call her back once he got a chance. Then him and Terry followed the scientist down to her lab. ________________________ Don reached the door to his apartment and began digging for his keys with a sigh. This case had taken a major turn and it was really late. He wasn’t here to rest though he was here to pick up Abby and take her to his father’s house. Alan could watch over her while Don worked late at the office on this case. As he turned the knob of the door he grimaced at the shot of pain his arm gave him. Then he entered his apartment and heard the immediate stomping of feet running to the door.

“What the hell were you thinking!?”

It took the FBI agent a moment to register the unexpected outburst to be coming from his daughter. “What?” he asked, confused.

“You were getting shot at!” Abby yelled walking up to him. “It was all over the news! An agent was shot and another was dead and I didn’t know who was who because you wouldn’t pick up your goddamn cell phone!” she yelled.

Don thought back to all the times he had dismissed her calls that day. He hadn’t thought anything about it at the time. However now he realized how stupid it had been not to let her know he was alright. “I’m sorry Abby I-”

“You could have been dead for all I knew!” she cut him off “and where would that have left me? Huh?” Her voice broke.

“Abby I risk my life everyday” Don explained trying to keep his voice level and calming.

“I know but you can’t just act like I’m supposed to be okay with it or just leave me in the dark to suffer you unbelievable jerk” she shoved him harshly in her anger.

“Abby. Abby. Abby!” Don tried to get her attention to make her calm down as she whacked at his chest and struggled against him in anger.

“I already lost my mom, I can’t lose you to Dad!”

Both parties froze at her last outburst. The anger in Abby’s face faded as she realized what she had said. “You just called me Dad” Don muttered.

“No no I said Don” Abby objected.

“No you said Dad” Don countered a small smile threatening his face. Despite the circumstance it was the first time she had ever called him that.

“No I said Don” the girl muttered.

“You called me Dad” Don let off a light chuckle.

“Oh shut up you stupid sperm donor” Abby grumbled as he pulled her into a hug.

“Are you done yelling now?” he inquired. Abby nodded into his chest. “Then listen cause the truth is I’m sorry I should have told you I was alright rather than just leaving you in the dark. I just- I’m still figuring out this father thing alright. We both are and I’m sorry but risking my life and possibly getting shot at is my job” Abby squeezed him tighter “but I will make this promise to you though. For every moment I am alive I will be fighting to make it back here to you. Alright?”

“Alright” Abby nodded as they stepped apart. “Donald”

Don sighed “Dad things not staying huh?”

“I wouldn’t bet on it” Abby replied with a smirk that mirrored her fathers.

“And here I was actually liking the idea of being called Dad” Don murmured. They both chuckled lightly. _______________________ Abby POV.

Me and Don pulled up outside Gramp's house and loaded out of the truck. Alan came out to meet us near immediately with a look of concern clear on his face. “Donnie, you all right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. It’s fine- ow! Ow!” he exclaimed as his father touched his injured arm. “Look it’s just, my arm’s a little sore.” he addressed the blatant concern on Alan’s face. “I got a- a scrape during an incident.”

I rolled my eyes at the lame excuse coming over to their side of the driveway. “A scrape? From what?”

“Well, a bullet, if you have to know” Don muttered with a sarcasm very much like my own.

“A bullet oh my g-” Alan exclaimed immediately.

Don quickly spoke over him “but it’s not… dad, please listen to me, okay?Just relax. We had an arrest go bad, and we lost an agent, okay? And three people died”

“It was all over the news” I added “check your voicemail I left messages”

“My word” gramps breathed out in shock.

“Now I’m dropping this one off and looking for Charlie. Where is he?” Don questioned.

“He’s out in the garage with Larry.” the other man informed. “He’s upset. I can see why now.”

“What’s he doing in the garage?” Don asked, confused. I had to admit I was confused as well last I heard they only used the garage for storage and laundry.

“He’s just working on that problem. You know.” Alan spoke directly to Don. “the problem he can never solve.”

“The P vs. P thing?” Don inquired.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s the one.” gramps nodded.

“Aw man” Don groaned in aggravation. I got the sense there was more going on here than I was privy to.

“Wait do you mean P vs. NP?” I looked between the two men. “The millennium prize problem?”

Neither seemed to be listening to me as Don started trucking toward the house. “Where are you going?” Alan called after him.

“I got to talk to him.” the son replied “I need a new equation”

Alan seemed as though he wanted to say more but Don had already disappeared into the house. “What’s the problem with Charlie working on P vs. NP?” I asked.

Alan sighed and looked to the ground “It’s not Charlie working on the problem that’s well the problem Abby. It’s why” I thought on it for a moment but was still not sure what he was saying. “Come on” he finally spoke up. “I’m assuming you haven’t had any kind of dinner yet” I nodded and followed my grandfather inside. ________________ 3rd POV.

Don came storming into the kitchen from talking to Charlie. It was aggravating after everything that happened with McKnight and the shootings. Charlie should be motivated to stop these guys but instead he just such down. Don was a kind of frustrated that only his little brother could make him whether it was rational or not and he knew it.

“Are you okay?” Don turned to see Abby perched sitting cross legged on the kitchen island. She was eyeing him quizzically.

“Yeah” he answered immediately “no.” he answered honestly “been better” he finally decided to go with. Abby nodded and bit her lip in a way that for half second made Don feel like he was looking in a mirror before he brushed the thought away “what are you doing in here?”

“Thinking” the girl replied honestly holding up her blinders which the man could infer she had just removed. “Gramps and your partner Terry are in the living room. She’s nice. I thanked her for the books she got me for my birthday.”

Don nodded and let out a breath feeling his irritation slowly ebbing away “yeah I’ve known Terry for a long time”

“Really?” the girl inquired.

“Yeah about ten years. We met in the academy” he explained.

“FBI academy?” she quizzed further.

“Yeah” Don nodded and a small grin came to his face “what you think I learned all this on the streets. Trial by fire style?”

Abby laughed slightly. “Well I don’t know I’ve only known a real FBI agent for the upside of a month”

Don scoffed and looked to his shoes. “Yeah”

“Is Charlie helping with this bank robbing case still?” Abby inquired, glancing toward the backdoor through which Don supposed she must have been able to hear the shouting.

“Apparently not” Don grumbled. “All he wants to do is work on the stupid P vs. P thing he’s completely shut down.”

“I can’t really blame him for being worried” she stated “and neither can you Don. You could have died and Charlie’s the one who sent you to the bank where the shooting happened.”

Don sighed and looked at his daughter quizzically “yeah I know but like I told you it’s my job to get shot at and I can’t change that. The more he helps though the less likely it is for that to happen and he just doesn’t want to help”

Abby looked like she was about to respond when the door to the kitchen opened and Terry stepped in “hey Don sorry to interrupt but we have to get back to the office.”

“Yeah coming” the man replied to his partner. Then turned to his daughter “I’ll see you later kid”

“Bye Don” the girl replied.

Don nodded and followed Terry out of the kitchen. Thinking in the back of his mind that he really wished she would have said Dad. __________________ Abby POV.

I walked slowly down the stairs of the house heading for the living room. Two books in hand that I wanted to read. I was mildly preoccupied with my own thoughts to the point that I didn’t realize Charlie had returned from the garage until I was about to turn the corner. I paused out of sight of the two men in the living room as the younger spoke.

“Dad. I’ve been working on a problem.” he explained “P vs. NP, it can’t be solved.”

“I think you knew that when you started” Alan replied wisely flipping through his paper.

“I could work on it forever, constantly pushing forward, still never reaching an end.” Charlie admitted. I bit my lip realizing I shouldn’t be listening in on this conversation however my feet wouldn’t move from the place they had planted themselves.

“You know, sometimes you want to think that things don’t end.” gramps mused “but they do.”

“When mom was sick I couldn’t stop working on it.” Charlie’s voice was breaking and I felt something clench in my chest. I had gathered enough knowledge about Margaret Eppes, my grandmother, to know she had died of cancer about a year ago. None of them really talked about it in excess. It was still fresh in their minds. Like my mom’s death and the state of mourning it procured were still fresh in mine.

“Yeah. I know.” Alan spoke to Charlie gently. “I didn’t get it. Uh, not then. And your brother sure doesn’t understand why you spent the last three months of your mother’s life working on a math problem.” I shifted on my feet listening despite my growing urge to leave “But Charlie, you mother she understood why. Because she knew how your mind worked.”

I finally pried myself off the wall and left the house. I wandered through the yard to the garage. My mom knew how my mind worked to. Even though she couldn’t think like I did she always understood why I behaved like I did. She knew what was in my head. _~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_ 3rd POV.

Abby sat another book on her already read pile. Grabbing a new one from her, going to read pile. She had just opened the cover when there was a clearing of the throat from the entrance to the small nook she had claimed in the back of the library.

She looked up to see her mother standing there, arms crossed. “Busted huh?” The girl asked. 

“Uh huh” the mom responded. Removing her purse from her shoulder she sat down across from her 14 year old on the floor. “I got another call from the school. You know most moms when their kid ditches don’t check the library first.”

“But you know better” Abby commented with a smirk.

“Yeah I do kid but you still have to stop skipping school even if it is to go read books” Janice stated.

“But the classes are pointless and boring” Abby objected. “They want to either put me in the need help classes because of my spotty elementary school education or in equally boring regular courses and then are shocked when I ace it all” Abby explained adamantly. “It’s patronizing”

Janice sighed “I know I asked again about the advanced courses but they are still sticking to their plan” 

“If they’d just give me the chance I could show them” Abby muttered.

“You’re a brilliant girl Abbs one day people will see that” Janice reassured. “But you still have to go to school” Abby groaned “Hey, hey it’s not just about the school work maybe you could make some friends. You know you can’t hide in the library forever. Eventually you will run out of books. Especially at the rate you read” 

Abby nodded “yeah I know. But people are well… people” 

Janice smiled slightly “yeah they tend to be like that. What are you reading there?” 

Abby glanced down at her book. “I don’t know haven’t started it yet” 

Janice smiled “alright then you read I’m going to grab a computer and do some of my school work for my new online classes” 

“Mrs. Wiat wasn’t kidding about homework never ending was she?” Abby commented as Janice got to her feet the woman chuckled lightly with her daughter. _~_~_~_~_~_~_~_ Abby POV.

I was sitting in the garage with my blinders on just absently thinking when I heard someone else walk in. I raised up the blinders to see it was Charlie. He plopped down in the chair nearby and grabbed his laptop.

After a moment he glanced up at me “Abby’s why are you sitting on the floor?”

I shrugged “it’s comfortable”

The man wasn't interested in discussing the topic. “So your millenium problem.” I gestured to all the boards around us. “Are you going to keep working on it?”

Charlie froze in the typing he had been doing. “I don’t know but, it can wait”

“And Don can’t” I finished his thought. Charlie nodded slightly and continued on his computer. I half wanted to talk to him about my mother for some reason. As I felt he might understand. I wanted to tell him that my mom got it too. However, I didn’t want to reveal that I had overheard him earlier, nor did I want to upset him. “The numbers are easy aren’t they?” I finally voiced after a moment “easier than people anyway. Answers to questions and a solid foundation. Easy to hide in.”

“Yeah” Charlie breathed in response and looked up at me “but we can’t hide in the numbers forever can we?”

“Nope” I muttered, popping the p. We were silent for a moment with the exception of Charlie’s mouse clicking.

Then Larry, Charlie’s friend and fellow CalSci professor, entered the garage. “Well,” he voiced upon his arrival, “I was heartened to hear that you’ve shifted your focus off P vs. NP.” he meandered further into the garage “So tell me what is it that I can help you with?”

“I failed” Charlie admitted and I snapped my attention back to him. “I failed to notice something significant. These robberies display certain highly eccentric characteristics.”

“Okay” Larry murmured, taking a seat on my other side a top some stuff “well how so?”

“Many were conducted in under two minutes, but in many cases,” Charlie explained “the perpetrators remained on the premises far longer despite having the money. Why would they wait around?”

“Don’t know.” the cosmologist replied “leaving quickly would seem to be the essential strategy when fleeing a felony.”

“Or any kind of crime” I added. “It’s risky cops could show up”

“You see this game, Larry? Abby?” Charlie pivoted his computer screen to show he had been playing Minesweeper. “You have to clear mines without blowing any up. Each time you’ve cleared a square, a numerical value is revealed. That number tells you exactly how many squares containing mines are directly adjacent to the square. This allows you to predict where the next mine will be located. And then the more boxes revealed, the more accurately one can predict the location of the mines.” he finished explaining the game and then continued with its relevance “the pattern used in these bank robberies is similar to this same type of problem-solving pattern. These robbers have used the banks they’ve been robbing to tell them which ones to rob next.”

“To what end would criminals be playing Minesweeper with banks?” Larry posed the same question rattling in my brain.

“I don’t know,” Charlie admitted.

“Are they using it to find high cash sums.” I suggested.

“No the takes varied, some as low as one hundred dollars.” Charlie objected thinking.

“Well then you’ll have to gather more information on your robbers” I pointed out “see what they’re after.”

“Information” Charlie murmured then quickly stood up closing his laptop with a snap. “I have to go.” with that he had dashed from the barn.

“It seems you’ve inspired him young Abigail,” Larry sighed.

“Don’t call me Abigail please” I asked the professor “and I don’t know what I did to inspire him”

Larry made a humming noise as I got up from my seat on the floor. “Well does it matter how in the grand scheme of things really?” he asked philosophically. “Whether you meant to inspire him or not it is still the outcome” I nodded lightly in agreement. “So if not Abigail what would you prefer to be called?”

“Abby” I stated thinking it was rather obvious considering everyone else just called me Abby.

Larry let out another humming noise. “You know you are quite a unique being”

“Thanks” I murmured not sure where he was going with this.

“You have a mind such as your uncles but your traits portray your father in quite a respect for you only having known both for a month. A true statement of nature versus nurture” Larry observed “you are an enigma”

“Okay” I sighed “then call me the enigma”

Larry nodded and stood up “very well then” and with that he left the garage. I hoped he realized I wasn’t being serious. _______________ “Here you go, Pop.” Charlie called walking out of the kitchen with a bowl in his hands. “I got it.” he sat it down “now you got it.”

“Thank you,” Alan replied.

“Spoon” Charlie stated holding up the utensil.

I scoffed “I think he knows what a spoon is Uncle C”

My uncle gave me a look and messed up my hair with a small shove like gesture as he went to sit down next to me. He didn’t sit however as just then the main door opened. “Hello” my father called.

“Donnie!” Alan greeted getting to his feet. “Wow, it’s good to see you.”

“Oh, you guys ate. I’m starving” Don voiced coming into the dining room.

“Ah there’s plenty come on” Alan objected quickly.

“Yeah?” the agent clarified “did Terry call, tell you guys what happened?”

“Yeah, she said you arrested every suspect.” Charlie informed shuffling back toward the kitchen. “Only one shot fired, huh?”

“That’s impressive.” I mused “snipers are cool.” Don gave me a look as he made his way to the seat at the head of the table “sniper math is cool” I emphasized pointedly.

“One? How’d you pull that off?” Alan inquired.

“We knew roughly where’d they’d try to hit the next shipment,” Don explained as Charlie disappeared to get him some food. While I turned back to consuming mine. “And I knew they’d have an escape plan.”

“That’s very clever.” Gramps declared digging into his dinner.

“Out thinking the bad guys” I voiced “that’s got to be fun”

“Keep talking like that and someone might think you want to join the FBI” Don muttered giving me a look.

I shrugged and held up my hands in a defensive gesture “hey I don’t even know what I’m doing once I escape high school” I explained “don’t go pegging me to early”

“And I don’t think I can take two members of the family dodging bullets for a career” Alan voiced.

“Yeah well, I guess I was inspired by Mr. Heisenberg” Don continued as he went to grab a beer in the kitchen. “Just like Charlie here suggested”

“Heisenberg?” Alan gave Charlie a perplexed look. “You mean, the physicist?”

“Yeah” Don called in reply.

I chuckled lightly as Charlie took the seat next to me “Don goes to confront a bunch of crazy and armed bank robbers and your pep talk is about the movement of subatomic particles?”

“Yep” Charlie replied simply. Me and Alan exchanged an amused look. “It worked, didn’t it?”

“Yes” Alan replied. “I guess it did.” There was a moment as Don joined us at the table and we all turned to our food but Alan “I’m telling you,” he began “if your mother could see you two guys now, she would be… so happy” he voiced and turned to me “and Abby. She would have loved to have known you”

I smiled lightly as the brothers exchanged a look themselves. “How are you doing on your P vs. P thing?” Don inquired after a moment.

“NP?” Charlie corrected with an amused breath.

“Sorry” Don murmured.

“I’m not pursuing it anymore.” the mathematician declared.

“No?” the agent questioned.

“I got plenty of problems to work on,” Charlie explained “ones that I think I can actually solve.”

Don nodded “Glad to hear it.” The two clinked their glasses and Alan raised his. I grabbed my glass of water as well and we all knocked glasses in the center taking a sip. As normal table conversation resumed. I found myself smiling. I was among family.

Chapter 3 -> 

[linkspooky]

Synonyms or Antonyms: Dazai and Dostoevsky

From the moment they meet within Bungou Stray Dogs, Dazai and Fyodor are set up as foils. 

Foil Definition. In literature, a foil is a character that shows qualities that are in contrast with the qualities of another character. The objective is to highlight the traits of the other character.

That is to say from the moment they are drawn in panel together, the audience is naturally meant to compare and contrast them. Their entire first scene plays their similarities and differences up. First, Dazai dresses as Fyodor not only as a joke but to draw the eye to how similar they are, both of them dark haired skinny males with pale complexions who wear overcoats. 

Dazai explains he was able to predict where Fyodor would end up, because if he were in the same situation it was what he would do. When he says that, Fyodor shows Dazai the same smile he showed him earlier, like Dazai is looking in a mirror. 

Dazai and Dotsoevsky are able to read each other so well, knowing the other like they know themselves. Which allows both of them to continually one up the other and predict the other’s movements. However their relationship extends far beyond ‘Being the same’, or just the fact that they’re both highly skilled manipulators who are able to pull off complex plans. It’s even much more than Dazai and Fyodor are just smarter than everybody else in a way that isolates them. They are each other’s inverse in almost every way while appearing to be exactly the same. I’ll elaborate in detail beneath the cut.

1. No Longer Human

First off, while Fyodor’s character, such as being referred to as a demon and his ideology for crime and punishment draws from Dostoevsky’s novels, the relationship between Dazai and Fyodor is a direct literary reference to No Longer Human. 

The character Yozo (who Dazai is in part based off of due to his tendency towards buffoonery to use as a mask for his feelings, and his ability is directly named after the book) in the fourth Memorandum of No Longer Human discusses the antonym of crime with his ‘friend’ Horiki. Already from the way the narrator describes his friendship with Horiki you can see parallels in how Fyodor views his connection to Dazai. 

The conversation starts when Horiki refers to Yozo as a criminal. Don’t be so cheeky, I for one have never been tied up like a common criminal the way you have.” After that the conversation turns into an antonym game between the two of them. Yozo turns it into a game to distract from the serious accusation that he is actually a criminal and he got away with not only committing double suicide with a lady who amounts to a stranger to him, but he’s lived his life so far stealing money from the other women he’s been in relationship in. The “joke” of the conversation is that while it sounds deep, the two of them are just playing a game.

Any of these two words could be set up as antonyms as long as you give enough justification. It’s a joke of binary opposition and dualism. In short, you can give justification that things are opposites, or you can give justification that things are actually the same, there is no universal truth there is only differing justifications. 

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At the end of the conversation Yozo relents to this point, he tries to think of antonyms of crime but they are all synonyms. Crime, and god, Crime and repetance, Crime and confession, Crime and punishment  he finally questions whether the last is synonym or antonym but before he can finish the thought he’s interrupted. Just before then though, he believes himself having come to an understanding of the chaos of Dostoesvski’s mind. 

Hence the relationship between Dazai and Fyodor. We are meant to question, are they synonyms, persons with similar meaning, or are they antonyms absolutely incompatible ideas as irreconcilable as oil and water. Note that in the original novel Yozo does not really come to a conclusion on this thought, and in all of my thinking this over I don’t think we are meant to see them as all the way one way or the other just yet. 

Either way this conversation has already been referenced several times in Bungo Stray Dogs. “God, is the antonym of crime”. Then you have Dostoevsky who positions himself as the opposite of crime, and therefore sees it is his responsibility to become God. 

However, the antonym of God is posited by Yozo not to be crime, but rather satan. Therefore we have Dostoevsky not only taking on the role of God, but also of a demon. Despite being referred to as “Demon Fyodor” several times, Dotsoevsky actually positions himself as both at once, he is both God and his Antonym the devil, and therefore they are synonymous because they are both him. 

Horiki at one point in the conversation even references, that while talking philosophically about crime Yozo is also a criminal. What does Fyodor do, but get Dazai arrested and separated from the rest of the Detective Agency for the crimes he committed in the past, because despite which side Dazai is on in the eyes of the law he is just as much a criminal as Dostoevsky is. Even if they are on opposite sides of a conflict (antonyms) they will still be seen as the same in the eyes of society (synonyms). 

Then there’s of course the scene from the movie Bungo Stray Dogs: Dead Apple which directly references not only this conversation with Horiki, but at the same time the novel Crime and Punishment.

Therefore in the original text Yozo may see them as antonyms, but Fyodor makes the argument they are synonyms. While he does so, both him and his shadow (his ability removed from him by the fog) are standing in juxtaposition of each other holding contrasting objects. A skull, and an apple. Apples can literally symbolize so many things, but here it’s just a symbol of binary opposites life and death. Or rather what is perceived as binary opposites. Life and death perceived as antonyms can also be seen as synonyms as Dazai explained to Chuuya. 

Death can be viewed as something opposite and entirely alien to life. That is life cannot possibly exist within death, because death by its nature kills life, or death can be viewed as a natural part of life. Therefore it is impossible to understand the value of life without contemplating it’s perceived opposite death. 

Poison and medicine can be seen as opposites, one kills and one saves, but if you overdose on medicine its easy to poison yourself with it. The more closely you examine them, the lines between supposed opposites begin to blur. 

Then you have Dostoevsky, crime and punishment are seen as opposites. Crime is unjust, and harms. Punishment is justice, the opposite of crime, it’s foil and prevention. Except, Justice can harm too, it just harms criminals. Except criminals can just be innocent people falsely accused. It’s never as black and white as it seems to be. Therefore, Dotsoevsky’s belief that they are not enemies but rather friends, it’s impossible to punish crime without thinking like a criminal. To punish crime, Dotsoevsky becomes a criminal. 

The apple, and the skull while seeming like opposite symbols can actually be the same thing, hence the title of the movie Dead Apple. 

2. Dead Apple

As the movie is canon material I also think it serves as a great introduction to the psychology of Dostoesvky’s character especially in comparison to Dazai. There are two subtextual psychological components to the movie, drawing from both Freud and Jung. 

In a brief summary of the movie itself, ability users are separated from their abilities due to a fog which causes their abilities to take form and attack them. This is really obvious Jungian shadow symbolism. Their abilities which always exist as a part of themselves and therefore a subconscious part of them are brought to the surface and they are forced to confront them. 

In Jungian psychology, the "shadow", "Id", or "shadow aspect/archetype" may refer to (1) an unconscious aspect of the personality which the conscious ego does not identify in itself, or (2) the entirety of the unconscious, i.e., everything of which a person is not fully conscious. In short, the shadow is the unknown side.

Because one tends to reject or remain ignorant of the least desirable aspects of one's personality, the shadow is largely negative. There are, however, positive aspects that may also remain hidden in one's shadow (especially in people with low self-esteem, anxieties, and false beliefs).

For example among the three main characters of the movie each of them are confronted with a shadow version of themselves, Rashomon for Akutagawa, Demon Snow for Kyoka and Beat under the Moonlight / The Tiger for Atsushi. There are several Jungian symbols associated with this process already, for one it’s specifically a fog that allows these shadows to manifest. The fog of the mind is what allows us not to be aware of the subconscious. When abilities are stolen they manifest with crystals that appear on the forehead, which also happens to be where the brain is. Neither of the three main characters are able to win their ability back until they accept something repressed about themselves.

(Pictured literally a tiger in shadow, two Jungian symbols the beastial instincts that represent the unconscious mind, and also the shadow which obfuscates). 

Kyouka that she does not want to hate Demon Snow even though the ability is responsible for killing her parents and also making her a murderer. Atsushi is the slowest of all to regain his ability back, due to the fact that he subconsciously rejects being an ability user. We see his flashback in the movie, first he blames the Tiger for his miserable life, he sees the tiger as the opposite of himself beast rather than man, an out of control monster. Then, when he realizes the tiger also protected him during life, despite being violent, Atsushi comes to the realization that his relationship is more complex than light and shadow, complete opposites.

People tend to deny their shadows, but the shadow is not necessarily the true self or more right than conscious mind, at the same time its still a part of yourself that needs to be acknowledged. Atsushi’s ability is even named “Beast under the Moonlight”, the moon is a classic symbol associated with Jung, because it represents the unconscious mind, the time of dreams, illusion, and when shadows are the longest. 

In the climax of the movie they literally ascend a tower, directly underneath the moonlight. 

Then there is Fyodor whose ability never separates from him and attacks him during the fog, and why is this? It’s because Fyodor already knowingly, willfully embraces his own shadow. He has no reason to deny what everybody else represses, because crime and punishment are friends. 

In other words Fyodor already is his own shadow. He’s a walking Id. 

The id, ego, and super-ego are three distinct, yet interacting agents in the psychic apparatus defined in Sigmund Freud's structural model of the psyche.

The three parts are the theoretical constructs of how the activity and interaction in our mental life is described. According to this Freudian model of the psyche, the id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends; the super-ego plays the critical and moralizing role; and the ego is the organized, realistic part that mediates between the desires of the id and the super-ego.

Why are both the protagonists and antagonists assembled in trios in dead apple? It’s because both of them are representative of the trio of the psyche. Fyodor, Dazai and Tatsuhiko are deliberately grouped as a trio, because they are Id, ego, and superego. 

Id, or I desire is uncoordinated instincts similar to the shadow. Reading the movie through this lens, it paints an interesting psychological portrait of Dotsoevsky. Of the trio he’s the most straightforward with his desires, he’s the one who seems to be ‘evil’ only for the sake of indulging in it and enjoying it. 

He plays the part of laughing villain the entire movie, and yet he also makes it clear this is an act to him. Therefore, when he claims that this is all for a laugh that’s not a statement that can be taken as a direct truth. 

As the symbolic Id of the movie, as the one who embraces his shadow he also plays the role of bringing the repressed truth that Tatsuhiko hides. He’s the one who encourages Tatsuhiko to rampage at the end of the movie. 

As he gives this speech Fyodor and his shadow overlap, because Fyodor is his own shadow, a walking shadow, he deliberately indulges in the worst of himself. That is why he sees himself as a demon, that is why he acts out on his god complex. That is the methodology which he chooses to bring forth his ideals, a world without Ability Users. 

Therefore his actions in the movie make perfect sense with his established motive in the manga, to commit a purge on ability users. Dazai even asks if Tatsuhiko will be saved by an angel or a demon before Dostoevsky introduces himself as a demon. 

It’s more binary opposite symbolism and the intention is clear. Dotsoevsky views himself as soemone who becomes a demon to save others, in line with his actions in his major introduction chapter in the manga. 

Demons are also in the bible, the creatures in charge of punishing sinners. Despite the fact that they are seen as rife with sin themselves. Another contradiction, for Fyodor a demon is something he has to become in order to punish crime, therefore he walks side by side with his shadow, therefore he indulges his id. 

Then, you have the other two serving as the opposing roles of the mind. Tatsuhiko is superego. Not only is he capable of controlling others to such an extent that he can make their abilities manifest against their will, but the extreme control he has makes him an utterly joyless existence. 

The balance between the two, the ego Dazai is the only one of the three of them who seems to have found any reason to live at all. His reason being the opposite of Fyodor. [Death] and release of the yoke of sin saves the soul. In comparison to Oda’s words. People live to save themselves huh, how true...

Dazai is the only one out of the three who has any semblance of control or purpose to his own life, and it comes from following Odasaku’s words. 

Ango’s summary of the three of them at the end of the movie shows that he does not quite understand Dazai, which makes sense as to why they never quite became friends. Demon Fyodor, Dazai “Disqualified from Humanity” and Tatsuhiko (turns into some kind of weird dragon) all three of them may seem inhuman but the moment you refer to them as aliens you fall for their illusion. All three characters are still undeniably and painfully human. They want to be seen as aliens to avoid being confronted by this, that’s the game all three play. 

Here’s the thing, Dazai is the only member of the trio who is not alone and part of that is because he had a friend who just saw him as he was, a flawed human being. 

3. The Demon Fyodor

For this final part I could list all the similarities and differences between Dazai and Fyodor, but that would just be a boring list so instead let’s analyze Fyodor who is currently the more mysterious character as to his motivations, using Dazai as a reference point. 

Before anything else, I’m going to use Oda’s words on Dazai as a reference point, because Oda had the best read on him. 

"Listen. You told me that you might find a reason to live if you lived in a world of violence and bloodshed. You won't find it. You must know that already. Whether you're on the side who kills people or the side who saves people, nothing beyond what you would expect will appear. Nothing in this world can fill that lonely hole you have. You will wander the darkness for eternity. (...) Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, become a good man. Save the weak, and protect the orphans. Neither good nor evil means much to you, I know... but that'd make you at least a little bit better. (...) Of course I know. I know better than anyone. Because... I am your friend."

So, let’s define Dazai as a character who good nor evil means very little to, and is on the side of saving others simply by choice. He’s not motivated by lofty ideals. He’s not even a particularly moral person, willing to indulge in the unsavory sides of himself if it gets the results of ‘saving others’. 

He’s someone who can commit crimes with little foibles. Though I would not say he does not feel any guilt at all because there’s a clear difference between his mental health when he was in the mafia killing people, and when he was on the side of the Armed Detective Agency. He also has the ability to feel attachment to others, because he was clearly sad over Oda’s death. He’s not empty of all emotion, but at the same time a lot of Dazai’s life is spent in contemplation of his own emptiness. 

While Dazai moves pieces on a chess board and can see the bigger picture, I would argue that his motivations are much more personal and selfish than Fyodor, even though Fyodor is a cackling demon of a villain. Dazai is motivated by human beings and their individual stories, he leaves the Mafia not because of the hundreds of people he killed but because his one friend died. He is pushed to becoming a better mentor, because both Atsushi and Akutagawa need him to be. I’m not saying selfishness is bad, or selflessness is good the entire point of this essay is to deconstruct that simple black and white thinking. 

Let’s say simply put, Dazai is a selfish character, lacking in ideals but still motivated to save others. He contemplates life and death similiar to Fyodor, and the same way that Fyodor finds punishment for criminals in crime, Dazai tries to find a reason to live in pursuing death.

Even that, is a personal motivation. 

So then in comparison, Fyodor is impersonal and acts against his self interest. If Dazai is on a path of salvation, living to save himself, then Fyodor’s path is marked for self destruction. 

Starting with his formal introduction in chapter 42, Fyodor is introduced as a soulless man, lacking sympathy for anybody else. However, I would argue the opposite the chapter clearly shows Fyodor sympathizing with the child he spends most of the chapter talking to.

Remember the entire chapter Fyodor is playing Ace for a loop, he’s only letting Ace see him as he wants to be seen. Therefore everything he’s described as to others “Something more awful, and heinous than a villain” is the act he puts on. 

In the chapter we see a child honestly encourage and try to connect with Fyodor, only for his attempts to fall on deaf ears by the end of the chapter when Fyodor chooses to kill him as a witness. Fyodor gives the impression that he was not listening to the boy the entire time.

Yet, if Fyodor was ignoring him, if Fyodor did not feel a thing about the boy and was not sympathizing him in the least then why did he take the time to explain things and talk to him before sending him off at the end of the chapter? If Fyodor is able to kill him so easily so as to not see him as human, why does the boy feel like he is understood? 

Rather than just ignoring him and treating him like a piece on the board, I argue that Fyodor did see the boy as a person. The panel shown afterwards does not display the emotion of a remorseless slaughter. The entire panel is shown as empty. Fyodor regrets this action, killing the boy in such a way. 

At the same time he feels like he must do something he personally does not want to do. In order to punish evil he must become something even worse than evil. 

Therefore you have Dazai, living to save himself, attempting to be a better person than himself when he’s really just kind of a self obsessed person, and you have Fyodor, who lives to save not himself but the whole world and therefore he must damn himself to demonhood and become the worst version of himself. 

Dazai searches for life in death, hence why he constantly attempts suicide. In its own weird way, his suicide attempts, his getting involved with death, murder, it’s all him looking for a way to live.

Whereas Fyodor genuinely believes with all of his heart, that death is something that cures the sickness of life. Not only do we see him have the opportunity to save someone only to kill them as a witness, denying himself the possibility of redemption. We also see him manipulate a child into suicide in front of Kunikida. 

Because as he currently believes it, the world as it is will never bring salvation to those children. His act of manipulation is just a symptom of what is currently wrong with the world. After all, Dostoevsky pretty easily got this man to agree to arm his little brothers and sisters to the teeth and put them into danger. A child who exists in this world as it is cannot be saved. 

Every character who ideologically alligns with Fyodor is looking for freedom from the world, in some form. Fyodor’s style of manipulation itself is a paradox, he controls their every action even resorting to blatant mind control in some places, and therefore he frees them from the burden of making their own decisions. 

Then, if Fyodor is actually an idealist who genuinely does want a better world, and not just a laughing demon then why does he specifically target Kunakida the idealist of the detective agency? It’s because he’s an idealist, that Fyodor wants to crush him. In other words he wants to break weak and faulty ideals that cannot save the world. 

Yet, it’s also an act of self loathing. It’s not that Fyodor is necessarily evil, but rather someone who becomes evil for the sake of his ideals. The reason for that is ideals are so high and mighty he needs to become god to enforce them, he desires a world much better than this one therefore he carries the weight of the world of his shoulders. As a person, just like Kunikida, Fyodor is constantly being crushed under the weight of his own ideals. That is why he seeks to crush Kunikida, to prove that Kunikida is weak, and therefore he is strong.

If what he seeks is paradise, then it makes complete sense that he would see it necessary to become god in order to achieve that. However in the end, Fyodor is not a demon, nor god, nor alien, he’s infallibly human. He’s so completely obsessed with the bigger picture, with providing salvation to all, that he will never be allowed to moved by personal motivations. 

He sympathizes with the child who is wearing Ace’s collar, but cannot allow him to live even if he wants to. 

It’s not that he will never allow himself to be moved, it’s not in Fyodor’s own mind he cannot. If he were to cede to one personal bias then he would never be able to accomplish his goals that are so lofty that he would need to become god in order to accomplish them, therefore it’s better to become an inhuman monster rather than be tripped up by personal feelings.

Whereas Dazai is motivated towards good and saving others, almost exclusively by the fact that there are people in his life who he is personally invested in. 

It shows finally even in the difference for how they use people. Both Dazai and Fyodor rely on trickery and manipulation to move people, and sometimes it can seem like they only view others as mere pieces on a board. They have a tendency to also assume they know what is best for other people and move them without their consent. 

The difference being that at the end of the day Dazai still sees others as individuals. He always leaves the element of choice. While Dazai pushes Atsushi and Akutagawa together even though they hate each other, because he believes the two of them are what’s best for each other he always leaves Atsushi with the choice of how he wants to proceed. 

Therefore they remain individuals, therefore they are still people in his eyes. Even if Dazai always plays with his cards close to his chest, his plans fundamentally rely on trusting others, and others trusting him. Even in Dead Apple, his plan involved knowing Chuuya would use Corruption and that Chuuya would trust in him to stop him. 

So, let’s say Dazai is someone who generally needs other people to carry out his plans. This is in contrast to Fyodor who once again, takes the burden entirely on himself. 

Fyodor’s allies are more akin to slaves who worship him. 

He literally messes with their brains to free them from hardship. Which goes along with again the binary opposition, his brain is modified to feel unhappiess, therefore he is happy. Because by that black and white logic, unhappiness only exists as the opposite and antagonist to happiness. The extension to Fyodor’s extreme logic, that the absence of crime will therefore bring peace to the world. All of Fyodor’s direct subordinates are liberated in this way, if he takes on all the decision making for himself, takes on all the burden for himself, then they are freed. 

Goggol explains what are probably Fyodor’s own viewpoints via foiling, and being allies very well. That it is easier to imagine all of them as inhuman monsters who cannot possibly have a reason behind their actions. It’s more comforting, it’s freeing. 

To do what he needs to do to change the world, Fyodor must become an unfeeling villain and he does the same to his subordinates, he actually modifies them and removs them of their emotions. 

So therefore it’s a paradox, his allies and servants see themselves as completely free in their devotion to him, yet at the same time Fyodor’s manipulation is the opposite of Dazai’s. Rather than leaving it to choice and trust, he removes their ability to choose, he removes their ability to disobey him. It’s as if the only way he can think of for people to be righteous, is to remove their ability to sin in the first place. 

It’s even apparent in their joke question and answer session. Dazai tells Fyodor to just inspire his subordinates to be better people the way he does with Atsushi and Aktugawa, and it seems like the idea did not even occur to Fyodor. Fyodor tells Dazai the way to win a woman is to cut off everything else to the point where she becomes completely dependent on you. 

So, in conclusion it seems a lot of Fyodor’s mindset is a result of him purposefully taking on the burden of saving the entire world on himself, because he cannot allow himself to view others as equals. In order to continue justifying himself, he needs believe that he is the only person capable of doing these things and therefore he knows better than anyone else. 

Dazai and Fyodor are both smart enough to be aware of not only the emptiness of life, its lack of purpose, its senseless cruelty. Their reactions however are opposite, Dazai decided to live in spite of being unable to ever find meaning whereas Fyodor decided to dictate that meaning to everyone else and decide it for them, like his words are the word of god. 

Bestowing sins is the work of god. If god god does not Exist, I’ll become him.