#if i forgot someone oh my god i would be so sad :c

[ninapi]

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・○・●

*＊✿❀ First Timers ❀✿＊*

Premise: Falling in love for the first time can be really awkward, but once you find the one, even if you end up looking like an idiot, it's completely worth it.

Word Count: 2607

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

Cat behavior is often inexplicable.

PekeJ had one of the worst habits there is to have in a cat and that is, leaving his house to explore town.

Chifuyu constantly had to suffer mini heart attacks when he saw it’s gone missing again, but seeing him actually jump out of his second floor window had to take the cake.

A loud gasp left his lips once his dear fluffy friend jumped out of his balcony as if it was his bed, his entire life as pet went through Chifuyu’s eyes…”PEKEJ NOOOOOO!” running over to his balcony, he saw him alive and well, swaying his little fluff butt as he walked down the street as if nothing had happened. Collapsing on the railing, Chifuyu tried to regain his breath and calm his wildly beating heart to run out and retrieve his friend before further troubles could arise from his mid afternoon rendezvous.

A few streets away he spotted him by the vending machines, however, as usual, he wasn’t alone.

He really enjoyed that spot of town, particularly the top of the snacks vending machine, it was a lovely spot for sunbathing, but today, the comfy lap of a human girl seemed just like the best choice for enjoyment.

Wind had fun playing with your beautiful hair, tickling the softness of your cheeks as you petted his belly in a loving manner. The cat stretched out completely in the entirety of your lap accepting all the affection you had to offer him.

Sighing at the spoiled attitude of his furry friend, Chifuyu decides is best to approach the stranger and retrieve him, you seemed nice enough not to hurt him but still, trusting strangers with your own family isn’t wise.

Once he’s close enough though, he realizes you aren’t a complete stranger, causing him to gasp once more. “You’re that one girl in Baji-san’s class, right? The one who worked with him for that English project?” 

You didn’t like talking about Baji, thinking he was indeed dead was a touchy subject still. He used to sit behind you in class and his empty seat still hunts you daily, even if you weren’t what you would call ‘friends’, having someone you know simply die out of nowhere can change your essence to your core, makes you realize not everyone has a future, no matter how nice they are.

“That’s me, yeah…” nodding with a sad smile on your lovely face you finally decide to look up from your lap, “Oh you were his friend, right? Chi…..mmmmm….Chi….” you hummed in thought as the kitten nuzzled your cheek.

Chifuyu kept making a ‘fu’ with his pouty lips as to give you a hint, but his face was just so cute that made you giggle, “Chi…haru?”

Deflating, he lets out a defeated sigh, "Fuyu…It’s Chifuyu actually…” he rubs the back of his neck, laughing awkwardly.

“Oh yeah! I knew it was a season! Chifuyu! How could I forget? Winter is my favorite season…” PekeJ decided to take a nap while you started giving more attention to his owner instead, making you smile at his soft little snores. “How about yours?”

“Huh?” he was honestly confused, talking with girls has never been one of his strong attributes. 

“Your favorite season?” God…why were you being this cute? The little glittery orbs the extreme sun was causing to reflect on your face caused an almost ethereal look on you, like if you were some sort of vision, a goddess even, it made him go completely blanc and he even forgot how talk for a minute there.

“Ugh…favorite…season...Not sure…Never thought about that…I guess I like summer? You can do a bunch of fun stuff and there’s no school…”… “and I got to meet such a beautiful angel….” The las part though, was just for himself, never leaving his lips.

“Summer, huh? A bit unexpected for someone who has winter as part of his name.” giggling, you scooted over to the side to make some space for him to sit with you on the sidewalk you were currently sitting at, of course he complied, his hand going to rest on his cat unconsciously.

“He most feel him in you…” his words were soft, sad even, startling you a bit.

“Him?”

“Baji-san…PekeJ used to escape and visit his home. Ever since he’s been gone…he’s been restless and a bit confused…but he seems to feel at home in your lap. Maybe he knows you were somewhat close to him in a way…” that got a smile out of you, animals can really be something else.

“Do you think he smells him in me? I do shower twice every day, that sounds a bit unlikely….”

“Hmmm…maybe is not his smell but like…how do I explain this…Baji-san had a way with people…he tended to make people’s heart warmer? Maybe he feels that warmth he craves so much in you…”

“I think I know what you mean…while we weren’t really close, just having him seat behind me made me see what kind of person he really was…” a tear rolls down your cheek, you’ve never really cried over the loss, you felt a bit awkward to cry over someone you’ve barely talked to in all your life. But Chifuyu embraced the feeling, and didn’t judge you at all whatsoever. 

“Hey…It’s ok…” he leaned closer and wiped the tear away with his thumb, “It must be really hard for you…being there in class every day…”

That broke you…your tears started to fall down on PekeJ’s fur which scared the hell out of him thinking it was raining, though, when he saw they came from you, he went over to your other cheek, cuddling you warmly while Chifuyu kept on trying to catch the falling little drops of sadness.

“It’s weird isn’t it? We weren’t friends or anything but I miss him being around…he was so nice to me…I don’t understand why he had to die like that…” 

Chifuyu was still definitely not over it yet and hearing your words just caused his own eyes to fill up with tears, a loud sniff coming from him catching your attention.

“I’m sorry, it’s selfish of me to act this way, you were his closest friend, I’m sure it’s been way worse for you…”

He shakes his head while wiping some snot away from his nose, “It makes me happy knowing someone else misses him too. That someone remembers him daily and think fondly of him…I know I must keep going…for him…but it’s hard…” you brought him into a tight embrace, gently rubbing his back while you both sobbed into each other’s neck.

“It’s ok…you can cry with me…let it all out…” 

PekeJ was just utterly confused, now even his owner was a watery mess, he honestly didn’t know what to do, so he just went in between the both of you to keep your bellies warm, something he knows his owner likes. 

And in all honesty was very comforting.

Not only having the support of his beloved pet friend, but also having someone to cry with, someone who doesn’t tell him to man up, to move on…someone he can really just be himself with, other than Baji-san, made his heart fill up with warmth.

Without noticing, you both spent a couple of hours just talking, reminiscing of old silly memories of Baji while sitting in front of a bush cuddling his cat and eating vending machine ice cream together. 

An unexpected way to spend your Sunday, but in all truth, none of you have had so much fun in quite some time.

It felt good to let that awful pressure off your chest, to cry it all out, then laugh as much as you can.

It felt good, for the first time in a while, to just be alive.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

Chifuyu has never liked a girl before.

Of course, he’s seen pretty girls here and there, drool over some magazines, like any other teenage boy, but this was his first time really crushing over someone.

He couldn’t sleep, wasn’t hungry, even homework was a hassle for the poor guy. All he could think of had to do with you, your lovely giggles, how they make his stomach feel all bubbly, like gas, but a good kind of gas…your pretty eyes…he could just stare at them all day…the way PekeJ loves you so much…he knows whats good after all, always choosing the best people for him…

With a long sigh, he finally decides to send you a text, he’s been debating it since he returned home that day but didn’t feel right to bother you without a reason, so he thought of something, “Hey, did my wallet fall into your purse by any chance?”

“Winter boy! Hi!” you sent him a cute cat waving sticker and it melted his heart into a puddle, “I didn’t have a purse with me that day, sorry I haven’t seen your wallet :( “

Great, just great. He was a complete idiot. Of course you didn’t have a purse, he would have seen it…

“That’s ok, don’t worry. I’m sure it’s somewhere in my room. You must be busy, sorry I texted you out of nowhere…”

“I’m not busy~ 

Was actually thinking about you just now~”

Like a high school girl, he plopped down on his bed flat on his belly, legs swinging happily, “Oh yeah? What about?”

“Is it weird that I... kinda miss you?”

“Not at all, I think I miss you too…” both of your hearts were racing violently, none of you were expecting to have this conversation tonight and most definitely not while texting.

“You do?”

“Mhm”

“Wanna meet up? Maybe at the same place? That ice cream was surprisingly good…wanna try other flavors.”

“Meet you there in 5..” without even getting changed he ran out of his room, taking only his phone and some change with him. His hair was messy and he was wearing a silly cat print t-shirt, but you weren’t much different. Your hair was up in a side ponytail, and you were clearly on your lounge wear too, no make up, nothing. 

Both of you just ran out of your houses as fast as you could.

Panting heavily while looking at each other, you both just burst out laughing. “Nice shirt…”

“Nice hair…”

Giggling you both chose a different ice cream flavor from last time, Chifuyu not letting you pay for yours, and sat back on the sidewalk.

“Let me give you the coins I brought for it…”

“Don’t want them (Y/N), c’mon is just a dollar ice cream, nothing fancy…”

“But you lost your wallet!”

“I didn’t…it was just a silly excuse to text you…” he looked away, his cheeks as red as the cherry ice cream packaging in his hand.

“Why didn’t you just say hi?” your cute little laugh only made his heart go even wilder, his blush was physically painful for him at this point, making him feel feverish.

“I don’t know…how to do this…It’s the first time I’ve wanted to talk to someone this bad…but have nothing to say…” he was mumbling his words out quietly, fidgeting with the ice cream in his hands.

“I didn’t know what to say either, I kept staring at my phone thinking of things I could send you, but didn’t want to be seen as clingy…”

Your words snapped him out of his shy fit, “Really? You were like that too? I took at least twenty different pics of PekeJ so I could send them to you and have something to say…” he laughed, shaking his head in embarrassment.

“And why didn’t you send them!!! I would have loved to see them!” his heart had permanently moved to his throat, he could feel it throbbing there, intensely. 

“I didn’t know what to say! Can’t really text someone ‘hey I was thinking about you so I took this pic of my cat so I don’t look like a complete clingy idiot’ don’t you think?” his frustrated outburst made you blush and laugh, he was so cute, it made your heart swell with affection.

“I know, I wanted to do the very same thing but I guess we indeed are a couple of idiots…” your loving smile made a hole in his stomach, he’s never wanted to hold someone this bad before, not even his cat…

“I guess we are…” his hand was itchy, he wanted to hold yours in his, and so he started tapping his fingers very close to your own on the sidewalk.

“Do you have them still?”

“The pics?”

“Yeah! I would like to see them!”

Nodding, Chifuyu pulled out his phone and you pressed yourself even closer to him so you could see his screen. This made him sweat buckets, you were so soft, so warm…the summer heat wasn’t working on his favor either even if it was later in the evening and the sun was now asleep.

“He’s so silly look.” 

He showed you a bunch of pictures of him trying to catch a little bird on his balcony, of him chewing on his own tail, of him asleep over one of his pillows…Each picture was cuter than the last one, making you giggle happily and rest your cheek on his shoulder.

“He’s so cute…I guess it’s true what they say. The pets and their owners end up looking alike~” 

“Does that mean I’m silly?”

“Means you’re cute, silly.” 

That made his teenage hormones rage, this was the first time in his entire life he wanted to kiss someone, it was such a desperate feeling, he felt like tugging his hair out of his head, he needed to do this, right now. But how? Was it that simple? He needs your permission first is not like he can just-

When he looked down at you, you had your eyes closed, your lips puckering out cutely. 

That counts as consent right?

This was most likely your first time kissing someone too, as you looked like a cute manga character waiting to be kissed. This made him grin, you were adorable, if you were to hate him for kissing you out of nowhere he’d be devastated, but he couldn’t take it anymore.

He lowered his head, drinking in your cute little face before pressing his lips lightly to yours.

The kiss wasn’t wild, nor sensual. It was soft, gentle, full of wonder and curiosity. 

Your hand reached his, and you just stayed there pressing your lips together like the idiots you were for minutes on.

“I think we are doing something wrong-“ he mumbled against your lips, making you chuckle.

“Yeah I think we are supposed to move our lips-“

“Ok, ok let’s try again-“

After some trial and error, you both managed to have a real first kiss, full of longing, of young love, expectations of a bright happy future imprinting themselves in the kiss.

This was your first time kissing a guy, your first time falling in love.

And so it was Chifuyu’s.

"Here have some of my ice cream, it's yummy."

"Oh I know, your lips taste like cherry.."

"Ugh...right...you did taste a bit like chocomint too.." being with someone has never been this fun, sharing every bit of you with someone, even your own sadness, can be very rewarding. Specially when that someone was as cute as you.

"Hey...do you want to...you know...like...maybe ugh...be my....you know what I mean don't you?"

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah that..." his blushing came back stronger than ever, not very manly but he just couldn't help it when you were involved.

"That would be lovely...yeah."

You both could swear you heard Baji's little approving laugh in the background. Even if it was impossible, it somehow felt like he was looking over you, over your union, and that just made it all so much better, more meaningful.

You both still didn't fully know what dating someone entailed, but both knew that as long as you were together, everything would be alright.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・○・●

Masterlist

[unhonestlymirror]

Lithuania: Oh, Giedrė would love this salad.

Czech: Who's Giedrė?

Lithuania: ...my 7th wife.

Czech:

Hungary: Your what

Germany: But I don't remember anyone from us having such a name?? Do we have a new state? I'm not teaching you, but don't you think it's a bit weird to marry a micronation for an old state like you?..

Lithuania: *sigh* She was mortal.

Everyone at the lunch table:

Ireland: Wait, wait, let me guess it - your 7th wife was mortal? Just like all the previous ones?

Lithuania:

Belgium: Jesus Christ.

Italy: Looks like someone forgot to tell him that having a relationship with mortals is a moveton in our little community...

Scotland: Lmao, I knew that guy never gave up on polygamy.

Lithuania, smiling with hidden irritation: I am sure we have more interesting topics to talk about than my 12 mortal wives, who were NOT married on me all at the same time, God rest their souls.

England: I agr-

France: NO, WE DON'T! I NEED to know everything about your 12 mortal wives, my dear Lituanie, right now!

Greece: Yeah, I'm also interested, like, dude, why did you decide that marrying mortals so many times is gonna be a good idea? At least you could have just making them your lovers, nothing more, why to put so much effort

France: You know that we can't have human children anyway :P

England: No one asked your opinion, orgies organizer

France: You're not a saint either, Mr. Le Bordel🖕🖕🖕

Lithuania: At first, I did that not out of romantic feelings and absolutely nor for sex. Poland had demanded that I must have married him in order to establish Commonwealth better. Although the pact was already legal, I wasn't ready for that, especially considering that the Catholic Church doesn't allow divorce... I didn't want to lose my independence completely, I didn't want to kill Poland to break the possible marriage because that would be really gross, considering that it was me who came to Poland first, I've lost Ruthenia and Smalensk by my own stupidity. Being on the peak of my power, I've fallen down like Lucifer. The day before, I was an empire, and the next day, I was nothing but a colony. I was miserable, and I had no right to complain. But one day, a woman approached me in a pub and asked me half-jokingly: "Doesn't your mother need a daughter-in-law?" And then it dawned on me. "Actually, she does," I answered. We got married the next day. The problem was delayed because, thankfully, Catholicism can't stand polygamy.

Lithuania: I can't say I've fallen in love with Milda at first sight, but she made my life less miserable.

Sweden: And she never questioned why her husband never got old?

Lithuania: Well, she never complained. 😆 As well as the others... *blushes a little*

Liechtenstein: I suppose it hurt when she died...

Lithuania: It always hurts when someone who lives in your heart dies. At least, she was gone with peace. I made sure she was buried properly.

Lithuania: That's when I've realised I didn't want to come to the empty house for eternity.

Lithuania: Later, I've usually tried to marry widows or single mothers: someone who was the outcast for society and who wasn't really able to protect themselves. I've thought it was not fair. After all, I can't just wander around like a ghost, if I am the personification of my people, at least I could have tried to make someone’s life a bit easier. To some extent, I perceived it as a sacrifice for Milda.

Japan: I'd say you have a fetish if only what you're telling didn't sound so sad.

Bulgaria: At least, the children could be proud of their vampire step-father! :D

Romania: Bulgaria, shut up. Just the mention of vampires makes me sick.

Finland: If you watched your wife dying every time, no wonder you seemed so depressed.🫂

Lithuania: 🫂

Lithuania: So I've come through the Commonwealth partition and russian empire, but the tradition remained.

Everyone: *silence, many have watery eyes*

France: 😭😭😭

England: You're the weirdest freak of Europe. After France. No offence.

France: Ugh, what can a cold-heart like you know about the pain of true love loss😭😤😡 This man's married 12 TIMES! TO MORTALS! You could never.

Lithuania: Well, sex was also nice.

Czech: Ew.

Greece: Now that's our guy🤌🤌🤌🤌

Latvia, completely unimpressed: Well, if to be accurate, 13 times if to count his marriage with his sister.

Lithuania: It was PURELY POLITICAL, SHORT-LASTING and it was A SHAM MARRIAGE, to receive funding from the Vatican and save our land from Teutonic Order invasions, you little shit💢 I've never felt anything more than platonic respect to her

France: I NEED DETAILS!!! :D

Bulgaria: A little bit of Monica in my liiife, a little bit of Erica by my siiiide

Latvia: A little bit of Rita's all I need, a little bit of Tina's what I see

Bulgaria: A little bit of Sandra in the sun, a little bit of Mary all night long

Latvia: A little bit of Jessica, here I am, a little bit of you

Together: makes me your man!!

Lithuania: I'm going home.

[butterfluffy]

“my strange addiction”

⠀⠀ੈ♡˳· kid was never addicted to anything of sort—until you came into his life, the someone he fell in love, and unhealthily addicted to, wanting you all to himself.

⠀⠀➧ fluff? | yandere!e. kid × gn!reader | oneshot

⠀⠀➧ warnings — contains yandere themes, violence, and death/murder (of a minor character.) get out of this fic if you're uncomfortable with these. mistakes and swearing are present too.

⠀⠀➧ requests are closed until further notice!

⠀⠀꒰ 🍨 ꒱ notes: welcome to “my strange addiction,” which is a writing special i made to celebrate this account reaching 500+ followers.

by continuing, you consent into reading this oneshot fanfic which contains yandere themes, violence, and death/murder. if uncomfortable with these, then please don't read this. also, don't go blaming me, i gave you a warning.

Falling in love wasn't at Kid's bucket list when he set out to sea—but it's almost funny on how he is right now, sitting across the deck, eyes focused on you, and only you.

He's in love, he definitely is. So fucking in love with you, he's obsessed.

“Hey, Kid. Aren't ya lookin' at Y/n way too much, mhm? Are ya that in love with 'em?” Killer noted with a small chuckle, sitting with his friend who only huffed by his words, eyes still laser focused on you.

“Shuddup, Kil. Anyway..” Eyes finally moving away from you, Kid then looked at the newest member on his crew who was talking with you, all happy while doing so. “The hell's that newbie? Did Y/n recruit them?”

“Oh... Them? Yeah, just last night, when we were about to leave the previous island, they were with Y/n—who asked 'em to join when we were partying on the bar, if I'm correct..” The first mate mutters, voice getting smaller and smaller the instant he had realized what he said to the red haired captain who is now frowning.

Big mistake, and he knows it.

“Oi Kid, you better not think about it—” “Shut it! I'll do whatever the hell I want and you can't do a thing about it!”

Fuming away, Kid then walked towards you and the crewmate you had recruited, eyes burning in anger.

“Ah, Kid! Hey, I forgot to tell you, we have a new member on our cre—BANG! oh my god!” You gasped, eyes widening the instant Kid pulled the trigger, immediately killing the recruit.

“C-Captain, why—why did you kill them!? Oh my, oh no...” You sighed, shaking in panic and fear as Kid averted his eyes back on you.

“I never gave you the permission to recruit anyone, did I?” Your captain grumbles, taking your wrist and effortlessly dragging you with him to his room. “C..Captain..!”

“Captain, Kid, I-I'm sorry, alright? I didn't know that that would upset you..!” You shrieked, being thrown to his desk with such brute force, causing you to wince.

“Upset? Pfft, Y/n, Y/n, darlin'... You're mistaken. I'm not upset..” Kid says with a husky voice, his metallic arm making contact with your neck, giving it a light squeeze before he—

“I'M FUCKING MAD, I'M ANGRY, AND ANNOYED AS FUCK!” He shouts, suddenly adding pressure on your neck, restricting your breathing. “K..Kid, ca...n't breathe!!”

“I... Damn it, I thought you were loyal, to me, Y/n..” Kid mutters, loosening his grip on your neck, letting you breathe in air once again as he spoke. “Y'know, I let you in my crew 'cause you were loyal, and I fuckin' like ya, a lot.”

“..Captain, what...?” Eyes widened by his words, you then looked at Kid in shock, not believing what he was saying.

“Yeah. You heard me, didn't ya? I said I like you, a lot. A real lot to the point that..” Trailing his words, Kid looked at you, a big, devilish grin on his face, sending chills down your spine.

“To the point that I killed, for you. Anyone who had dared get way too close to you are all dead by now! You know, Y/n, my darling, I even fuckin' killed the members of this crew of mine! Hahaha!”

Confessing his crime with a maniacal laughter, you were then left stunned, unable to mutter a single word out, also unable to pinpoint what you're feeling.. Is it anger? Shock? Sadness? Disgust? Joy? Who knows..

“Say, Y/n, do you at least appreciate what I did for you? I killed people for you, you know. That's how much I love you, Y/n..” Approaching you, Kid snickered, lifting your chin up so you can look at him, eye to eye.

“I love you.” He repeats, caressing your cheek that burned red, akin to his hair. “Now, darlin', do ya love me too, mhm?”

Serving silence, you pondered what to answer. Is it a yes? Or a no? It doesn't matter what you answer, because you knew that you're bound to be doomed either way..

“..Answer me, Y/n!” Kid demands, hand slamming loudly on the table, losing his patience with you...

“You better give me a ‘yes,’ or this bullet goes in your fuckin' head.” Pulling out his pistol, Kid aimed it at you, your head, threatening you, dead serious.

“C..Cap... K..Kid.” You stammered, squeezing your eyes shut as you gulped, feeling the firearm pressed firmly on your forehead.

Fear is surfacing in you, yet no answer left your lips. So silently praying, you waited for how things would turn for you, prepared for the worst to come, but—

“Pfft... Heh, hahahahaha!” Kid laughs, dropping the weapon to the floor before he continued, “I knew it, I can't bring myself to kill ya, it'd be such a shame if I were to lose you anyway...”

Smirking, the red head then quickly inched his faced close to yours, giving you a kiss on your lips, whispering, “You're all mine..~”

© butterfluffy 2022

[idyllic-affections]

what are some of your furina headcanons? they can be about anything really, you're just the only person who gets her :3

im super fond of bigender furina, personally, since i see myself alot in her (i think im slowly becoming a furina kinnie /half joking), and ive already mentioned liking neuvillette being her adopted father (so much so i keep forgetting her real name isn't furina de neuvillette lol)

🐌.

OUGHGHG YAYYYY SOMEONE IS ASKING ME TO TALK ABOUT FURI MY LOVE YEAHHHH omg. okay. furi headcanons. these might change (i haven't finished her story quest yet!) but for now...

starting off angstful strong, i believe she has severe identity issues. she does not know anything about herself because she has long since lost everything to the role she had to play. being suddenly thrust into freedom, while she has waited for it for so long, was jarring and nervewracking for her. she "barely leaves the house" because she prefers to stay in while she tries to calm down and become more comfortable in her freedom.

furina sometimes accidentially dips back into her old dramatic flair (she's still dramatic, but in a more... traditional way; i.e., huffing and pouting when she gets exposed for not being able to cook yet, things like that). the fact that she does it doesn't upset her or anything, it's just instinct HAHA it can be kind of funny and lighthearted sometimes!

she instinctively wants to help solve people's problems to try and make up for her perceived inadequacy as the hydro archon.

she adopts many (okay maybe not many. maybe like. one) cats to keep her company c:

she's generally very softspoken now. in a way, i suppose this is canon? but what i mean when i mention this as a hc is that she's very gentle and mild in terms of her mannerisms now. she's still got quite the amount of sass to her, do NOT misunderstand /lh, but overall she's very reserved and polite. largely bc she's still recovering mentally, but also because i believe her to be a very kind and empathetic and sensitive soul (i mean... she was sobbing at poisson following the disaster. she still carries that guilt. she IS kind and empathetic and sensitive).

i think she would get along with children really well!

she's some unspecified kind of nonbinary, but in the "i honestly forgot wtf gender is after 500 years. gender was NOT my biggest concern" way. or genderfluid (haha get it. B. Because um. h. hydro archon. Fluid)

furina still greatly loves and adores the arts. she just doesn't want to be too deeply involved in them anymore (as one of the cast). she WILL be moved to tears if she sees a particularly sad opera

she would get along with lyney tbh.

also venti. i want them to meet in person. i want him to help her grow into her freedom. he IS the god of freedom, after all. who better to help her?

OH SPEAKING OF VENTI they would also get along just because he's a bard!!!! so many stories flow from his lips all the time!!!!!!!! for furi, it would be a fun change of pace from the operas and plays!!!!!

i feel like she and nahida would also get along on a super personal level. both of them were technically trapped for 500 years. furina's people believed in her, while nahida's did not... but really, what difference does that make when they were both trapped in one way or another?

[shirmxie]

this can't be!

7 unfamiliar but not entirely unwelcomed

↣6 ..you can come  ↬m.list  ↣8 tba

you hadn't expect this much from ayaka since its just a small party with your friends and also its just to congratulate your defeat. now that you think of it, that's kind of cruel but who are you to complain for a party anyways! plus your pocket wont be emptied since your friend would be the one who takes care of all the funds. perks of being childhood friends with the rich kid.

everyone gets comfy inside the limo as venti started "i cant believe were riding a limo to names "congrats to losing party"! its literally so random..", "you can all thank me for having that idea mwehehe!" hu tao gave a proud smile to all of you, "yeah but your pocket isn't the one funding this idea of yours dumbass." hu tao just glared at xiaos words.

as your friends start to converse with each other, you just stayed quiet, thinking, thinking about anything and everything as someone pokes your cheeks; which startled you. you turn your head to look at the culprit only to see heizou besides you with a grin, ah you forgot he was coming with.

"you're all over your pretty head again, cmon just enjoy the ride." he gets close to your ears and whispers, it sends shivers down your spine as he chuckled. my pretty head? pretty..? you were really red. he looks away from you, not waiting for you to answer as he chatted with aether.

all of you arrived at the bar as one by one of you step out the ride, making sure not to trip. but still, you almost tripped since you're really inside your head even deeper after heizou said that. xingqiu grabbed your arm as he talks "nameee! you're really distracted are you? just ignore the thoughts for tonight and enjoy," "its difficult.. but sure i'll try i guess." you frowned, knowing that you've been trying to ignore your thoughts for the whole ride but still failing.

venti grabbed your face with both his hands "why are you so sad name? cmon lets go inside and drink, drink your thoughts away!" he tries to make you smile, you did anyways. you just realized that one of ventis friends didn't come with all of you in the limo, "venti, your friend, kazuha, why isn't he with us?" "ohh he said your cousin borrowed his moms car so they'll be coming together!" borrow? he probably stole it.

you were drinking as you heard the door bell, looking to see a pair of oh so familiar purple eyes; which you subconsciously glared at. he found your eyes and he grinned. this piece of shit. you were about to charge at him as you tripped on your own feet, you're already a bit tipsy just by 1 bottle of beer.

"hello rat, congrats to losing by the way, loser." "shut the fuck up bitch boy. don't talk to me like that after skipping all your classes." the both of you glared at each other as kazuha pulled him aside, "good evening name! i didn't expect for the both of you to be so against each other," venti butted in to pull you away as he says "if only you saw how they fought as kids, archons it felt like the whole house was a war zone!"

ayaka randomly popped up besides you to greet kazuha and his boyfriend "hello kazuha, hello kunikuzushi. also yes, they fight like wild dogs when we were still kids hahaha," scaramouche only rolled his eyes on the name 'kunikuzushi'. "babe lets go." he pulls kazuha away from the three of you. "god i still hate his guts." venti whispered, "i couldn't agree more..!" you whispered back as ayaka only giggled at the both of you.

after a few rounds of drinks, you decided to go to the restroom to reapply your lipstick since it smudged; unknowing that heizou was trailing behind you. you were about to go in as you feel a hand on your shoulders. you look up to see heizou yet again. "helloo! how's the loser doing?" he grinned. he didn't mean to come out as rude but you're mind was fuzzy and you can't think straight.

"c-can you stop being so full of yourself just 'cause you won! you- i do.. ugh.. i don't even know why i invited you..! maybe out of pity but-" you slurred on your words a bit as you continued, leaving him shocked at your sudden outburst, "maybe its better if i hadn't invited you.. your presence it- it annoys me!".

you don't know why you said that, you never minded when you lost, especially to him. what's wrong with you exactly? this isn't like you. you realized what you said and regretted your words almost instantly when you see him frown, "i.. i apologize, i never thought you felt that way, i'll leave." you felt a pang of guilt when he started to walk away.

"w.. wait no sorry! i'm sorry! i-i didn't mean it! its just- i've been in my mind a lot, i don't know what's gotten into me-" you started to ramble as you grabbed his wrist, he looked at you sadly. you felt really really guilty now, he just wanted to joke with you.. this grabs the attention of yours and his friends as they started to watch the scene they're witnessing. they only looked now since you apologized so loud even the planets across the universe could hear you

he sighed looking at your figure apologizing again and again, obviously feeling guilty. he doesn't know why but he just pats your head. it startles you and everyone looking at the both of you. "its fine, you've had a lot to drink. you should reapply your lipstick tho, not that i'm complaining! you look pretty with smudged lipstick anyways." he smiles as he succeeds to lighten up your mood a bit.

now its your turn to be shocked. you felt something inside you, its unfamiliar but not entirely unwelcomed. your friends started to coo at the both of you as you rushed inside the restroom, catching your breath. what's wrong with me?

you didn’t mind losing to your long time academic rival but somethings off about you lately…

taglist: open, send ask or reply

— @stanshizuki

an: i wrote this under 3 hours and its so short and bad.. im so sorry. also school is being a bitch to me rn so i cant update frequently

[weirdcat1213]

volume 12 already? damn that went fast. just yesterday we were crying about vash drinking in a church

anyway :D volume 12 thoughts time

chap 1:

-chronicaaaaaaaaa :3

-AW NO MY BABY

-these quiet panels are the fucking best/worst thing that have ever happened to me

-too many memories :c

-YES LINA IS THERE THANK GOD (at the same time this is heartbreaking as fuck)

-all the enemies after all the people he has ever loved/helped

-HIS MOM AND HIS BF

-THATS IT THATS THE ONE THATS THE PANEL OH GOD WE ARE *HERE*

-im gonna go cry now

-i wonder what "anti plant" entails...is it a special material?

-ok fine, chronica can call knives a terrorist. she gets a pass

-oh sweet geesus

-eh?

-oohhhhhh.....ok fuck

-nothing can stop the hatred of this man. kinda admirable but as the song says "your misery and hate will kill us all"

chap 2:

-"corrosive thunder", love the title

-OH SHIT DOMINA NO, pls dont let him get to you

-DOMINA NOOOOOO

-the plants kinda look in pain there....

-MY GIRLSSSSSSSSSS

-for pain purposes, i choose to believe that when they resonate they hum like vash did in stampede

-aaand shes gone

-oh god, the end of evangelion flashbacks

-OH NIGHTOW YOU SON OF A BISCUIT- THOSE EYES IN THE BACKGROUND-

-tbh everything in your ship just being consumed by someone else so quickly must be scary af. nothing belongs to them anymore and soon, chronica could even loose herself

chap 3:

-oh shit oh fuck oh shit

-oh shit not thors hammer

-omg look! the laws of physics!

-noooo :c we dont get to know domina too much but its still sad

-OH?

-MAGIC BULLETS TIME BABYYYYYYYYYYY

-ohhhhhhh okok i get it

chap 4:

-THATS MY BOIIIIIIIIIII

-AH SHIT IVE JUST NOTICED THE HAIR

-ALSO PLS DONT SMILE LIKE THAT-

-childish is a good word for it cuz knives just doesnt want to accept hes wrong and scared

-THE POWER OF LOVE AND PEACE BITCH

-is vash pausing cuz even though his plan was to kill knives hes kinda sad that knives wants to kill him? i may never know

-let him use his fucking gun ok? hes an expert. also i like to think he uses it to stay grounded. like to stay with the people hes fighting with. hes not superior or anything

-TO YOUR KNEES BITCH TO YOUR FUCKING KNEES

-THATS MY FUCKING GUNMAN THATS MY SON RIGHT THERE

chap 5:

-FLASHBACK TIME LETS GO

-omg right it hated this. hes just a baby :c

-so vash left with a stranger? i forgot about that

-honey just be glad YOU ARE ALIVE

-BECAUSE HES VASH THE STAMPEDE- i should rewatch that episode huh

-GEESUS BRO

-tbh vash, you should have. then and now

-YEAH TELL HIM VASH >:D YOU ARENT NAIVE

-tbh i would also think thats enough to break the chain. hmm

-"stay with me" vash pls i cant jump into the void rn

-GEESUS CHRIST, the cleanest cut in the west

-also you think vash made that face cuz the last time he made someone bleed was rem-

-THE CLOSEUP TO THE MOUTHS AHHHHHHHHHHH

-"we dont belong in the future of this planet" dont fucking say that

chap 6:

-actually wanting to humans to talk with plants is a great step for improving their relationship but sure knives, whatever

-THATS SO TRUE VASH LETS GO, LET THE PLANTS HAVE A SAY IN IT

-ive said this before but as someone who was mocked by wanting context before judging people, vash is so...reassuring. like it wasnt wrong of me to want to know all the sides of one story. im glad

-also i completely forgot about that town and radiation. how tf radiation happens in that planet, what am i missing

-oh nvm, thanks nightow

-HES NOT EXCUSING, HES EXPLAINING OMFG YOU IDIOT

-YEAH FUCKING TELL HIM >:D POP OFF VASH >:D

-WHY IS IT THEN? HUH KNIVES?- oh shit what

-yknow what, ill give knives the fact that humans are ignorant and we are repeating history etc etc, but im done. finish him vash

-for some reason this reminds me to that scene with the soldiers in ep 12. my man really cant catch a break

-YEAH THE GIRLSSSSSSSSSSSS :D

-"you've been abandoned" maybe by some but not by everyone. and thats the whole point

-YEAH YOU ARENT BABY ILY

-HOLD UP IS THAT HER FACE?????

-awww :c

chap 7:

-IS IT LIVIO TIME????

-YO WTF, WHO SHOT MY GIRL

-ofc the military would be like this

-i literally cant say whos bleeding

-ah fuck ok

-ugh no...pls dont tell me hes fucking bleeding through his eyes...pls dont (if i see stampede vash bleeding like that i will eat my pc piece by piece)

-chronica :c

-LIVIOOOOOOOOO :0

-OMG YES, YES, IM SO HAPPY. quoting 98 "and i know in my heart he would have done the same"

-MR. VASH, MR. LIVIO AWWW :3

-OH HES SPINNING THOSE FUCKERS :D

-oh well thats not fair, hes too cool

-wait why is knives not wanting to kill vash bad?

chap 8:

-considering the blockers chronica has, entering a fused entity must be scary but also exciting

-ngl i dont get the spikes on the screen thing

-geesus

-WTF YOU DID TO HIM???

-wait no i want to see whats happening with vash- and its livio time

-oh hes alive thank god (this is my 2nd read why am i surprised)

-OH NO ITS THAT MOMENT OH NNONONONO STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME

-i hate seeing his eyes like that if im being honest, its scary

-ESO MAMONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GET UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

-LIVIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-OH SHIT its my wife

-OH WAIT MY OTHER WIFE IS HERE TOO

-VASH WHY ARE YOU MAKING THAT FACE

-OH GOD NOT LEGATO AND THE RUSSIAN DOLL

-CAN SHIT STOP HAPPENING FOR A MINUTE

-THERES TOO MANY PEOPLE HERE CAN YALL CALM THE FUCK DOWN

chap 9:

-omg its the legato episode

-what is happening, what am i looking at

-oh oh shit

-RIGHT IN HIS MF EYE

-what is happening?

-ok flashback time

-yeap. its that time. shit

-geesus fucking christ. tbh ofc legato would think knives is right. there was nothing to prove him wrong

-yeap. i would do the same actually. stomp on his head

-oh honey...honey thats gay-

-is that why he has short hair...cuz knives gave him a name AND A HAIR STYLE??

-damn son

-also i may be wrong but where do people get the idea he inserted metal in his own brain to have those powers?/gen

[nothinggold13]

1, 5, 7, 11, 16, 20 :(

(I’m hoping you remember the sad face joke lol)

This hasn't been sitting in my ask box for 3 years. No siree.

You know how when you reblog an ask set, you look at the questions and consider how you'd answer if someone asked? Yeah, I'm coming at these fresh.

1. If you could hear God say something personally to you, what would you want it to be?

Hmmmmmm you know that bit where the leper goes, "If you are willing, you could heal me," and Jesus goes, "I am willing! Be clean!"??? Sounds Nice is all I'm saying.

5. If you met Jesus face to face all of a sudden, right now, how do you think you’d react?

Start sobbing. 100%.

7. What about God is most confusing to you or hardest for you to try to wrap your mind around?

So many things. One obvious answer is the three-in-one thing. How. Why. What. (Also why I actually love the little analogies that try to help us understand it, and why I think it's less helpful to call them "heresies" than it is to pull a C. S. Lewis and say, "this isn't a perfect image; if it helps you, it helps you; if it doesn't, it doesn't." My brain prefers to go, "Well, it's kind of like this, and that's enough until it can be revealed fully to me.)

11. Favorite place to worship that isn’t church?

Camp. Or somewhere in nature in general.

16. Have you ever experienced a miracle, even a “little” one?

You know, there's probably better answers to this, even in my own life, but right now I'm thinking of this past Sunday. We had lunch together after church, and there was one point where a lady I knew said, "I'm surprised by how much food we have. I was worried we wouldn't have enough, but we have tons." (The night before, the candidating pastor's brother and his friends decided to crash the service. Said pastor's wife also went, "Oh, but should they bring food??" and she was told no.) And. Idk. May or may not be what most would consider a miracle, but there was a joke made about the loaves and the fishes, and for whatever reason that's what's sticking out in my head: God's abundant provision.

20. If you could meet with and talk to one Biblical figure other than God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, who would it be and why?

There are so many good answers to this. Right now my brain is not especially drawn to any of them. I'm giving up.

So. Uh. Thank you :( for this ask that I definitely haven't been procrastinating answering for 3 years as of this April. Just when you think I forgot—

[juminies]

aw hahaha, i wish my were professors were like that! (and true, elizabeth the 3rd does deserve it) also, due to his endearing nature, i like to imagine some of his students feeling a bit sad once they finish up his course, and getting him a parting gift before they move on to the next stages of their lives. and since he talks about elizabeth so much they usually get him cat themed mugs or pens so he’s got a whole stash of them back home and in his office.

omg, i forgot yoosung wanted to be a vet for a hot min! yeah, the animal hospital idea definitely fits more. i’m thinking of yoosung working as a junior vet in one of the local clinics. one day he mentions in passing how he’d like to open up his own clinic in the group chat. jumin messages him privately a little later, mentioning that he’d be more than happy to provide the capital to help him get started.

yoosung suddenly becomes nervous. sure, this is his dream, but dreaming and doing are two separate things. starting his own practice is a big step to take and he’s still relatively young. is he really ready? these kind of thoughts keep circling in his head when:

“i've seen how hard you’ve worked and how much you’ve grown during these past years you’ve practiced under dr. yoo. i believe you are more than capable of starting up and running your own clinic. of course, i, as well as the other rfa members will be there to support you each step of the way.”

and since jumin han isn’t the type of person to give out compliments for free, i’d like to think the sincerity of his words help yoosung feel a bit more confident in the idea of running his own clinic, and yeah, that’s my rfa animal hospital origin story haha <3

i totally agree on the lawyer thing! out of all the professions mentioned, i think jumin fits the lawyer vibe the most. but it’d also be the hardest profession to fit canon jumin into. like it works in theory, but it’s a lot harder in practice haha. but, prosecuting for sure, can’t really picture him as a defense lawyer

first ask | second ask

Oh he 100% would have an impressive collection of cat mugs that were gifted to him!

I think he would be the type to tell his students not to try and remain in contact with him after they graduate because he doesn't have the time or energy, really, and he wouldn't sugarcoat that. Even so he remembers a lot of them (we know the memory on that man is ridiculous) so occasionally he will come across someone he taught's research in an academic journal a few years after their graduation and he will send them an email to congratulate them on being published and possibly briefly discuss their work. He's also been in the 'thanks to' section of a thesis or several.

Side note I imagine he is very well acquainted with the campus IT department because if ever he stumbles into any sort of technological issue it's very rare he knows how to solve it himself. They're used to it. This applies to C&R in canon too.

Also! The idea of him helping Yoosung fund setting up his own veterinary clinic is lovely and I can definitely see it happening. He might even request that Yoosung be Elizabeth's primary vet once it's all up and running since he knows and trusts him on a personal level. Yoosung kind of fumbles at first because oh god that's a lot of pressure but he ends up accepting after some deliberation. He tries insisting Jumin let him do it for free as a good deed in return for helping him make his dream a reality, but Jumin has absolutely none of it hahaha.

Hard agree on the works in theory, less in practice lawyer thing too. He definitely fits the vibe more than the actual career. He seems like the type of guy who has a slightly odd amount of knowledge on the legal system just because he can, and also who would weirdly enjoy getting called for jury duty. If you told him you dread it he'd be all "I find the whole thing rather fascinating"

[iamnot-theboynextdoor]

GOOD OMENS EPISODE 1 (THE ARRIVAL) REACTION (updating as i go!)

ooooooh my god it's here

BEFORE THE BEGINNING this looks epic

LIL BABY ANGEL CROWLEY WITH HIS LIL PERFECT CURLS AND IS HE HOLDING PART OF THE BENTLEY?????

DSFLKHADKJGHADKJ AZIRAPHALE (i knew they met but i wasn't prepared)

angel!crowley's eyes are brown <3

AAAAA AZIRAPHALE DID HIS LITTLE MID-CONVERSATION "(i forgot to say hello) hello :D" shit boy i die!!!

we're not getting crowley's angel name, fair enough (NOT FAIR I WANNA KNOW WHAT IT ISSSSSSS)

also angel!crowley clearly outranks aziraphale here. i never personally ascribed to the Crowley Is Raphael headcanon, but i might just have to eat my unspoken words there

"let there be light" and the galaxies explode and it's beautiful and angel!crowley's little facey and squeaks of delight, we are not even two minutes in and i can't handle it

are those the pillars of creation??

"look at you, you're gorgeous!" AND AZIRAPHALE THINKS HE MEANS HIM AND IS DISAPPOINTED. I FUCKING DIE

godddd aziraphale has such a crush on him. kill me

i love how aziraphale doesn't seem to understand a word of what angel!crowley's talking about. when ur crush has a really niche hobby and all u can do is smile and nod

oh no the record slowing down! :( poor baby angel crowley... only 6000 years of stars... he's so sad...

now aziraphale's talking about people and baby angel is just like WTF. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M JUST MAKING WALLPAPER THAT THEY WON'T EVEN MOSTLY SEE!!!!!

"i don't suppose anyone could object to me putting a note in the suggestion box" someone's gonna smash cut that to "i only ever asked questions!" ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch

aziraphale freaking out at the very idea of questioning authority. this angel can fit so much anxiety in it

"i'd hate to see you getting into any trouble" KILL ME!!!!

"how much trouble can i get into just for asking a few questions?" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND IT RAINS STARS AND ANGEL!CROWLEY PUTS HIS WING OVER AZIRAPHALE DSKJFHSGKAJSHGKJ IT'S BEEN SIX MINUTES AND I HAVE TO PAUSE IT TO GO RUN AROUND THE HOUSE

present day!

maggie and her record shop are one of aziraphale's tenants, and she can't pay the rent because of how covid affected her business - she's sobbing and saying she can pack up and leave and he's just like "well that's my fault for not collecting the rent. i'll take this nice record as payment" "you can't just forgive eight months of rent!" "i can, i'm very good at forgiveness :D" I LOVE HIMB

and there's crowley at the park! and shax! (it's the scene we saw)

"hell doesn't care how jobs get done" shax has taken over a+c's clandestine secret agent meeting place, she is full-on hinting at her own Arrangement (and probably thinks she came up with the idea!) and crowley cbf

i really like shax's voice - none of madam tracy's airy lightness, she's all business. she's also a lil baby demon-intern who is trying just as hard as crowley did to be Cool and Mysterious and James Bond-y and i love her. she wants her own spy network so badly

"what do you have for me?" "frozen peas. that's what you feed ducks." crowley says fuck your spy network

(maybe. as just a headcanon. crowley will let her borrow shadwell (i know he's not in it))

MAGGIE AND NINA!!!

"dunno who buys records in this day and age" nina is such a crowley and maggie is such an aziraphale. they are so cute

UH OH HERE COMES THE NAKEY BOY

HOLDING UP TRAFFIC WITH HIS NAKEY SELF THERE'S HIS BUTT

aziraphale doing nothing but listening to his record and pretending to conduct sdfkdsgkjdshg

MAKING MY WAY DOWNTOWN ASSCHEEKS OUT PEOPLE SHOUT AND I'M HOMEBOUND

aziraphale's "ugh" at his conducting being interrupted lmao

GABRIEL HUGS AZIRAPHALE, FULLY NAKED. POOR AZIRAPHALE, ONLY GOT HALFWAY THROUGH HIS RECORD, NOW IT'S SUFFERING TIME

"oh and it would also be great to know where here is and also who you are and also who i am" "and also why you're naked!" "who told you i was naked" I AUDIBLY SCREAMED

"can i come in?" "no!" poor aziraphale looks terrified

maggie introduces herself to nina just like aziraphale introduced himself to angel!Crowley I SAW THAT

cut to heaven - michael is prepared to use Extreme Sanctions (what r those).

love the highlighter bestie

hot chocolate scene :)

of course he left the box outside. bet it's gone

no it's there!

"either call on the phone and talk or appear mysteriously, don't do both" aww. shax is SO baby.

"his royal smugness is in trouble? that's so sad >:3"

THE BOX IS FUCKIGN EMPTY

"you're funny. i love you." SKFHDSGKJDSHGKJSDGH GABRIEL IS DUG FROM UP

(if that's the first time someone has said "i love you" to aziraphale. and it's fuckign amnesiac naked gabriel i am goign to explode)

"what's gabriel?" "you are!" "cool. i love it. gaaaaaabriel."

"no- you're, um, jim!" "cool. i love it. jimmmmmm. short for gabriel." "no, short for james." "cool. i love it. jaaaaaaaaames. long for jim, short for gabriel." "JUST FORGET ABOUT GABRIEL"

"i find it hard to forget things" "then what was in the box" "what box" /aziraphalesuffering.gif

"hello, it's me. don't say anything. ...are you there?" "should i say something now?" AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY ARE INTERACTING AND FINALLY THE TRUE DUMBASSERY BEGINS

there's a fly hanging around gabriel. very suspicious

in heaven - a matchbox with "out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out, job 41:19" on it, and muriel very nervously picks it up!

"you have three reasons for calling me: you're bored, you need to tell someone about something clever you did before you pop, or something's wrong" "it's nice to tell someone about the good things you've done, now that i'm not reporting to heaven" poor aziraphale still wants a good grade in angel

the "naked man friend" scene LMAO

"he and i... go back a long time" YEAH LONGER THAN WE THOUGHT

crowley trying to get information out of aziraphale is just as hard as aziraphale trying to get information out of gabriel lmao

he chugs his six shots of espresso in one go and aziraphale takes the plate without realising GIVE NINA HER PLATE BACK

aziraphale hands crowley the plate so he can unlock the bookshop and crowley just looks at it like "why am i holding this"

aww maggie bringing nina an awkward present and then saying sorry for bringing it without asking...

nina is in a(n unhealthy) relationship NOOOOOOOOO

"you'll never guess who shax was asking me about" "i think perhaps i will" "go on then" "...jim" lmao

"do we know a jim- AAAAAA GABRIEL"

"ASK HIM PROPERLY!!! WHAT- ARE- YOU- DOING- IN- THIS- BOOK- SHOP-!!!!!" (calm down mr "grow better") (actually don't. last time he saw gabriel he was wearing aziraphale's face and gabriel called "aziraphale" stupid and told him to die. so this is justified actually)

gabriel like (oh is this how we're supposed to talk?) "I- AM- DUSTING."

"precious, peaceful, fragile existence" scene CRIES

"if you refuse to help me then you're at liberty to go" "to go? this is how you wanna do it?" "NO I WOULD LOVE YOU TO HELP ME! i'm asking you to help me take care of him"

(is this the first time aziraphale has directly asked crowley for help? i cry)

but the pouting doesn't work, crowley angrily storms out "just breathe, that's what humans do, then they count to ten before they do anything stupid... I CAN'T DO THIS I'M JUST SO ANGRY TEN!!" /redlightning.gif

and nina's security system activates and now her and maggie are locked in with dead phones >:3 oh no >:3

back in heaven - michael wants to be Acting Supreme Archangel, uriel isn't having it

"someone's gotta give the orders" "and that's you?" "it's... all of us" "ah." "...led by me" "mm." SO UNIMPRESSED.

HERE COMES SERAQUEL AND MURIEL

seraquel's floating wheelchair is so cool

i love michael and uriel and seraquel's matching sparkly highlighter, which has replaced the ostentatious gold fashions in heaven. i love that heaven has fashion trends and the archangels co-ordinate them.

"who are you?" "no-one! well, technically, muriel!" i love themb

THE HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS MATCHBOX

michael: how do i click the matchbox

it says "the resurrectionist" on it... clues...

poor crowley in his car with his plants... and flies. "IN MY CAR! REALLY???" "hello traitor. i suppose you're wondering why i called you here" "YOU CAME TO ME!" cloud of flies!beezlebub looks equally horrific and cool. also what a terrible way to be kidnapped

"what if i said hell was willing to forget everything you did, that we were willing to accept you back, no questions asked, with a hefty promotion... if you found gabriel and handed him over to us, you could name your price...anyone found involved in this affair will be Dealt With" "...how?" "Extreme. Sanctions." oh i don't like any of this!

"that isn't actually a thing, that's just something we used to joke about to frighten the cherubs" "no, it exists. anyone found involved in gabriel's disappearance will be erased from the Book of Life. they won't just be gone, they will never have existed." WELL NOW THAT'S A PRETTY FUCKIGN SERIOUS THREAT JESUS

"someone could break into my record shop and i couldn't stop them" "if i had a record shop, i'd be more worried about people breaking in and leaving more records behind" nina is so fucking funny

"good old fashioned lover boy" playing as crowley GUNS IT for the bookshop

"oh, really? my bad" crowley rescues them and he full-on miracles the power back on right in front of them

nina's partner lindsay is a stage 5 clinger, girl DTMFA, you've got a nice maggie right there

crowley walks into the bookshop and aziraphale glances at him and Very Pointedly Ignores Him

"you want a big I Think I Said The Wrong Thing sort of apology, or can we take that as said?" "i'd like the apology, actually" sdfkjdshgksjdhksg

"...you were right" "not good enough. i want a proper apology." "no." "with the little dance." (SDFKGHDSGKJDSHGJ WHAT?????) "i don't do the dance." "i did the I Was Wrong Dance in 1650, in 1793, in 1941-" (I HAVE TO KEEP PAUSING TO SCREAM. that's both the french revolution and ww2 scenes, where crowley romantically saved aziraphale EXCEPT HE MADE HIM DO A LITTLE APOLOGY DANCE I'M DEAD)

THE DANCE. THE CURTSEY. I'M DEAD

"you were right, you were right, i was wrong, you were right" ("i'm crowley and i was wrong, i'm singing the crowley wrong song" "do the kicks!")

"together?" "yes, we do a little miracle" "i think heaven would notice if i performed even a very minor miracle" okay so aziraphale hasn't performed a miracle in FOUR YEARS (this angel can fit so much anxiety in him!!!!) and crowley just. doesn't give a fuck and does miracles in front of anybody

gabriel! "where did you come back from?" "outside" "is it big? can i see the outside?" GABRIEL YOU CAME HERE FROM OUTSIDE YOU GOLDFISH

"what if we each did half a miracle to hide him"

"...until we figure out what's actually going on." "i know what's going on! i don't go to the outside, and now i have two friends! :D" "I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND"

"no one will have noticed a thing!" and they're both so pleased with themselves so of course someone will notice

cut to FUCKING ALARM BELLS RINGING IN HEAVEN JESUS CHRIST

uriel's like michael you said you wanted to be in charge this one's for you and michael's immediately like UGGGGHHH I HAVE TO DO WORK???

there's FUCKING PURPLE SMOKE COMING OFF THE GLOBE WHERE AZIRAPHALE'S SHOP IS

VERY SUSPICIOUS!!!!

(end of episode one)

this was so fucking great!!!! i'm so happy to see everyone again!!!! god is not narrating... where is she? (she's eating popcorn)

ooh i like the end credits- choral version of the theme mixed with everyday

[just-otter-thoughts]

Okay, so thoughts on the FNAF movie! Spoilers ahead!

It was great! I loved it. There were a couple of cringey scenes and a mild case of "get to the goddamn point already" but overall I had a lot of fun!

My favorite little thing were the Balloon Boy scares. They were so funny.

Okay, onto the plot. It's not like the games, but that's to be expected. I like the changes made, and I saw someone say that "Mike isn't an Afton" his second name not being Afton doesn't mean much! In the games, he used Mike Schmidt as a fake name so he could work at Fazbear's without his dad (William) knowing. But I saw a Brazilian YouTuber theorize that in the movie he may have been born as an Afton and changed families with his mom into Schmidt. What would explain William's reaction to seeing his name on the file? Maybe that he recognized Schmidt as Garrett's second name, the kid he murdered. Wait, that makes more sense with what he tells Vanessa later.

Anyways. The story was great. I liked Mike as a character, and his conflict between taking care of Abby and finding out what happened to Garrett was interesting, and I like that he got a happy ending in which both were resolved. Vanessa was a little confusing because, where is she getting all this free time as a cop? Lol. Aunt... Jane? Mary? What was her name? Was fun too. AND HER LAWYER LOL! The MatPat cameo was a little cringe but that's forgivable. The CoryXKenshin one was good too. No Markiplier, sad :C but oh well.

I liked how the animatronics work, though it was jarring that William controlled them instead of them wanting revenge from him. In the games, they kill all adults and not kids because they are kids and were murdered by an adult, so them trying to hurt Abby to "get her to be like them" is kinda :/. But them killing William and being free from his rule was sick as hell. Which, by the way, brings me to:

THE SPRINGLOCK SCENE! OH MY GOD! IT WAS SO GREAT! I expected something more gruesome, with more screaming and wailing on William's part, but I understand it still. I think I was expecting it to be like the "purple guy death sound" by the amazing @that-one-ace-guy (thank Reddit that I found his URL long ago). When Vanessa shot William I thought "oh he's gonna bleed into the suit and that's gonna fuck with the springlocks" but I was wrong, they started going off later, when... wait, I actually forgot. What makes the springlocks go off again? Anyway.

What else do I have to say? I don't know, I'm one of the people who rate a movie based on how much fun I had, and I had a lot of fun so it was a great movie. Of course, I can't expect criticisms of it to be all positive, but I loved the story. It was interesting, Mike is a good character and I had fun :)

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 63 Transcript: The Trenchcoat Stays ON During Sex

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello! My name is Grey.

C: And my name is Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show several times...

C: And I, someone who only knows about the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For this episode, we will be discussing "In the Beginning"- no. 4.03. What? Okay, wait. Okay, so for this episode, we will be discussing Season 4, Episode 3: "In the Beginning," written by Jeremy Carver, directed by Steve Boyum. Have I heard of Steve Boyum before?

C: I think so. The name sounds familiar. Oh, it looks like he directed "Crossroad Blues." Oh, and [both] “Dream a Little Dream of Me.”

G: Yeah, Andrew, My little drink of me.

G: Yeah. Oh my god! He will direct “Swan Song.”

C: Ooh. That's exciting.

G: Wait. These are iconic episodes. Like, at the end, he directs “Death Takes a Holiday," “Angel Heart.” You know “Angel Heart”?

C: The Claire one?

G: Yep. He directs that. That's nice. "Song Remains the Same," he directs it, which is terribly connected to this episode.

C: Yeah, that makes sense.

G: Yeah. You know what “Song Remains the Same” is about?

C: Well, Anna goes back in time to kill John and Mary so that Sam can’t be born, right?

G: Yah.

C: Which is so sexy of her.

G: Good for her. This episode, Sam- like, let's get it out of the way. [both] Sam is not in this episode.

Yeah, he shows up one scene.

C: Half a scene.

G: Yeah, half a scene. And Ruby's there. Ruby says a line. Sam doesn't. Sam literally has no speaking lines this episode. [C laughs] At least Ruby does. At least Ruby does. But Sam doesn't.

C: Yeah. A win for women.

G: A win for women's rights and wrongs.

C: But “Metamorphosis” is going to be pretty Sam-heavy, I think. Right? Right? Please?

G: "Metamorphosis"?

C: The next one? It should open with him and Ruby practicing his powers, at least. I don't know how Sam-heavy the rest of it is. Yeah.

G: I think I don't remember “Metamorphosis” a lot.

C: Well, it was on a list of- you know how there's like, that poll bracket that may have ended by now that's "best Sam episode of Supernatural"-

G: Mm, that's interesting.

C: - and it only features episodes that are somewhat Sam-heavy? “Metamorphosis” was on there, and I think made it past round 1 but not round 2, so I think it's Sam enough.

G: What's your- Do you have a Sam-centric episode in mind that you like?

C: I mean, of the ones we've watched so far, just like, “Houses of the Holy.”

G: Yeah, “Houses of the Holy” for what we watched so far. But I would say my favorite one is the flashback one with, like, the high school. I forgot the title of that episode, the high school episode. For Dean, I guess, but like, for Sam it's- I don't- I don't know. Maybe he's in middle school

C: The one where he has the English teacher, and he says to him-

G: Yeah!

C: - that he doesn't have to join the family business if he doesn't want to. I know what you're talking about, but I just don't remember the name.

G: It's called "After School Special"!

C: "After School Special"? [both] Yeah.

G: That's so sad that I can't even name the title of the episode of my favorite Sam-centered episode.

C: Yeah. I also heard that “In My Imagination” is good.

G: Oh, yeah!

C: The imaginary friends one?

G: Yeah! Yeah! That one is good. Because he literally had an imaginary friend!

C: Yeah. And that imaginary friend was gay.

G: Yeah. Because he was also gay.

C: Yes.

G: He's dead now, so that's why I'm using "was." He didn't turn straight. [both laugh]

C: [laughing] Unlike- [both laughing] [overlapping] I think, for context, we are recording this about 5 hours after Misha Collins announced at a con in New Jersey that Warner Brothers called him after he accidentally came out as bi and told him to just pretend to be bi for the rest of his life.

G: I've been saying this to Crystal, but I would have given him the same advice. Like, I would have been like, “Bro, for real. Like, just be bisexual. I don't know what to tell you.” [C laughing] I was the brother who was warning for real.

C: Yeah. [laughs] For real.

G: God. What a time. What a time we're having. Sometimes, I think to myself, “I do not give two shits about what happens in the Supernatural fandom anymore."

C: Yeah, like I try not to care about the actors.

G: Yeah.

C: But sometimes, they do things like accidentally come out as bi, and you have to care about that, regardless of your personal beliefs and feelings.

G: [laughing] We said that we were not gonna talk about it!

C: Did we?

G: I was like-

C: [laughing] I only said we wouldn't do it for a Ko-Fi bonus!

G: Literally. We talked about how we wouldn't do it for a Ko-Fi bonus, but alas, we are-

C: We are doing it for free. We are not being Misha Collins bi for gay- for pay, sorry. How do I redo that joke to make it funny? I don't think I can. Let's move on. [laughs]

G: Let us move on.

-

G: Okay, so, Crystal. “In the Beginning.” What did you know about this episode?

C: Yes. I knew that Cas brings Dean back to the past, and I thought the point of it was to show him that he couldn't change anything. But I guess that wasn't actually his main motivation, and we see young Mary, and she is beautiful and has big eyes and cowboy boots and regular-colored eyebrows. And we see her and John dating, and how her dad disapproves of it because he's not a hunter, and I guess this is the episode where the general audience finds out that Mary was a hunter at all. And I know she has like, a little speech about wanting to get out of the life. I know that John proposes to her, and then he dies, and also Azazel kills Mary's dad and possesses him. And then they like, make a deal to bring John back so that he can re-enter her house 10 years later, and Jeremy Carver loves incest so so much. [G laughs] And then in the end there's like, a shot of her like, in the headlights of Dean's car, and she looks scared, and her eyes are so big, and she looks great and it's iconic, and then Cas comes over and puts a hand on Dean’s shoulder.

G: Yeah.

C: So that's what I know.

G: Yeah. This episode, it's juicy, but- I don't know if we've talked about it in the podcast, like, main, like, podcast main- We don't have a side podcast. [C laughs] We have a Ko-Fi bonus blah blah blah. But I don't think we ever mentioned that we haven't really touched The Winchesters.

C: Oh, the show?

G: Yeah. So I feel like it bears saying- is that a term that people say? “It bears saying?”

C: It sounds familiar. Is it “warrants saying?” Do people say "bears saying"? I don't know.

G: Yeah, bears saying, bears dancing, you know. [both laugh] Goldilocks-core. I think it warrants saying that we have never watched The Winchesters, probably will never, although recently-

C: Okay, cut this out, but I have seen two episodes of it.

G: No, no, I'm not gonna cut it out. I'm not going to cut it out.

C: [laughing] Noooo!

G: Crystal watched 2 episodes. Is it the first episode and then the last episode?

C: No, I watched like, episode 4? Whichever one was titled “Masters of War." And I have also seen the finale.

G: Okay, if I- like, I have not watched anything, I have all everything about it muted and everything, like, I know nothing. So, recently, Crystal told me [both laughing] about what happens in the finale of Season 1.

C: Yeah.

G: Wow!

C: Wow.

G: Wow. I mean, I'm bringing this all up just to say that, like, we don't know what they retconned in that show, we don't know how that show affects the canon of Supernatural main. Like, we don't know. So we're not gonna really go into that. Yeah. Glad the Impala magically disappeared, though, or something. [C laughs]

C: Right. Which I mean, that seems like it should be a retcon, right? The fact that in the Winchester's John doesn't have the Impala yet or something?

G: Wait. Is the Impala his, or in-

C: No, the Impala, they summon it using like, a fucking spell in the finale, [G laughing] and then they drive it into a portal, and then Mary supposedly dies, and then it drives out of the portal and Dean’s in it.

G: [laughing] Ah. Slay. Let's start the episode.

-

G: So first and foremost, we have the “Road So Far.” Which, I quite liked.

C: Yeah.

G: I think the one that really stuck out to me is they didn't forget to include the part where Mary turns to Sam in “Home” and says, [both] “I'm sorry.” Yeah, which is like, you know, one of my favorite scenes of Season 1. Literally, she's sorry. And it's nice. I love that scene, and I'm glad to see it in a “Road So Far.”

C: Yeah, I agree. This is like, tangentially related, but, like, I made a post after watching “Home” about how John spent all of that time trying to figure out what happened to Mary when he could have just walked over and asked her. [laughs] And then recently someone reblogged it with the tags, “well maybe she just didn't want to talk to him,” and like, literally so true. Maybe she just didn't want to talk to him.

G: Wait, what are you talking about? Wait, he could have walked over and asked her, where?

C: She was like- he could have gone and asked her ghosts like, "Hey, what's up, how did you die?"

G: Oh, yeah. So real.

C: "Oh, there was a demon with yellow eyes? That's good information to have."

G: Yeah.

-

G: So we start off the episode with Sam and Dean in a motel room, and Dean is sleeping in his bed, and Sam-

C: Let's talk about Dean's sleeping arrangements.

G: Okay.

C: He has no blanket.

G: No blanket.

C: He's using his dad's leather jacket as a blanket, which does make me feel something. We find out later that apparently he also has the journal and his phone under the blanket on his lap. [G laughs] Good for him, I guess.

G: God, he's so fucking funny. He's so fucking funny.

C: And I think he's in jeans with his shoes on also.

G: Yeah. I have slept like that in my life. Dean-coded.

C: With your shoes on?

G: No, I wouldn't sleep with my shoes on, but I was wearing jeans, and I was like, in a cold, cold place, but I didn't have a blankie!

C: Aww.

G: So I used my leather jacket [laughing] to-

C: Your leather jacket specifically?

G: [laughs] Yeah! To blanket myself. [C laughing] And like, the moment I saw Dean doing this I was like, “Oh my god! I've done that.” And I literally did do that. Sam just like, looks over to make sure he's asleep and then gets out of the room. And then there's a whole sitch where like, a car pulls up, and [laughing] I thought the car was gonna hit him. But it doesn’t hit him. It's just Ruby. And Ruby just goes like, “Ready?” Oh my god, I was wrong! Sam says a line! He says, "Definitely."

C: Yeah, baby.

G: Yeah! Wow. One-line wonder.

C: Yeah. Also like, a point to Steve Boyum is that the way that it opens, like, it's a mirror shot, but we don't know it's a mirror shot until it swings around to look at Sam, like, in the motel at the first time, and that's fun. I enjoy it.

G: Love mirror shots because I know they're difficult to film. So like, it's a commitment to do them. Yeah.

C: Yeah, exactly. And I also just like the idea that he and Ruby are like, texting buddies now, you know?

G: Yeah.

C: Like, I'm assuming that's how they meet up now. Just texts on the phone, and that's such a development from like-

G: The summoning! Yeah!

C: Yeah.

G: I think what I like, was that- I mean, not "like." But I observed that last episode, the last time we see Ruby, she was like, "Bye, Sam. Never going to speak to you ever again."

C: That's true.

G: And now they're back to conniving together. And I love that!

C: Yeah.

G: It's about the pull of the attraction or whatever the fuck is going on with them.

C: Yeah. And I also wonder- like, okay, in "Laz Rising," Ruby supposedly left a bra behind, and that confused us so much, but like, while Dean was away, like, it's possible that they actually like, lived together for multiple days at a time, like, Sam and Ruby, you know?

G: Yeah.

C: So like, maybe, like, most of her stuff, was like, in a bag in the closet, but that was like, something that was left out- like, yeah. Cute of them.

-

C: Back in the motel, Dean's having his Hell dreams again that are not safe for photosensitive people. And [laughs] they just never bother showing anything else about Hell.

G: I think it's interesting that they keep on doing it where he thinks about it while he's dreaming. So like, a part of you still is trying to believe that, like, he doesn't remember.

C: Yeah, that's true.

GL But like, it is becoming more and more obvious that he does remember. And like, I like that. I like that. It isn't just like, a surprise at the end when he's like, [dramatically] "I remember everything about Hell!" Like, you see that he is remembering here. And I like that. A little bit of a pre-shadowing? I don't fucking know. Foreshadowing. [C laughs] No, because I was thinking "fore" means "forward," and it doesn't. It means "before." That's fucked up. Both have the word "fore" in it.

C: That is pretty fucked up.

G: Yeah. He wakes up and Cas is sitting [C screams] at the side of the bed. [laughing]

C: God!

G: What a funny, funny scene.

C: Yeah.

G: And he goes- like, he's facing away from Dean, and then he goes, "Hello, Dean. What were you dreaming about?"

C: Hello.

G: And he turns his head as he says, like, “What were you dreaming about?” He turns his head towards Dean. And he is wearing that expression of again of like, amused. Like, it's fascinating. We see an array of Caspressions this episode, which is what I have used to say, Cas expression. It's literally Caspressions.

C: Real.

G: And, like, we see him be serious. We see him be like, forlorn, in a way. Like, sad for Dean. And here we see him like, quite amused. Like, "What were you dreaming about?" I like that.

C: Yeah. I mean, did he know it was Hell? [G laughing] Was he just like, "Oh, that's funny. I've been tortured for 200 years before."

G: Yeah. [laughing] "I, too, have been tortured and lobotomized." But yeah, Dean like, clocks that this looks pretty gay. [C laughs] And he says, like, “What you get your freak on watching other people sleep?" And-

C: Right, also Dean probably read Twilight like, 3 years earlier, and he was like, "I'm gonna stop this in its tracks." [G laughs]

G: Yeah, Cas turns serious and goes, "Listen to me. You have to stop it." Which is an interesting way to word this whole situation. Like, obviously, this is not what Dean is supposed to do at all.

C: Mm.

G: And yet, like, Cas says it like this. He's literally just lying.

C: I didn't really see "it" as being like, the deal. At first, when I thought his point was that, like, Dean needs to just go along with things, I thought like, "You have to stop it" just meant "You have to stop like, trying to have free will or whatever." And now, like, I think "it"- By the end, I figured out that "it" probably just means like, whatever Sam's getting up to.

G: Oh, yeah, that's interesting.

C: But he just does not explain what "it" is. So I think he is maybe trying to let Dean think differently.

G: Yeah. Like, he's saying here like, "You have to stop it." And probably, he is talking about Sam. You're right. And like, this whole excursion is like, him, instead of using his words just like, showing Dean, like, "This is what Sam is. This is what happened."

C: Yeah. This episode, we get they/them Sam rights, and we also get it/its neopronouns Sam rights, and I love that. Good for Sam.

G: Good for Sam. Also, like, I quite like that even though Sam is not in this episode, we actually get a lot of Sam lore!

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. You know, small happinesses or whatever. Small joys, I think, is what people say. Small joys.

C: Yeah. Is this the first time Cas touches Dean?

G: I think so. I mean, if you're not going to count the handprint.

C: Oh, no, no, I'll count the handprint.

G: Yeah.

The handprint is very confusing to me, because, like, he was not a human being when he picked up Dean.

C: That's true.

G: Like, he wasn't possessing "some poor bastard," as Dean says. But he has-

C: I guess his true form could have, like-

G: A hand?

C: - human aspects to it. Like, I'm assuming there's a lot of animal heads and eyes, but like, some of the many arms could be like, human hands.

G: Yeah, like, this is the fathomable portion of his true self, or whatever.

C: Mm-hm.

G: Yeah, so Dean is like, "What?" And Cas puts up his finger on Dean's forehead. And Dean like, gets transported somewhere else!

C: Yup.

-

C: So he is in a new place. The coloring, the saturation is higher than it is in the motel, I think.

G: Yeah, I think specifically, they made the saturation in the motel so low. 'Cause like, I had to turn my brightness up so much. Like, the brightness was slow, saturation was low. I had to turn my brightness up so much. And it's like, it's fascinating that, like, my first thought when that happened was like, "Oh, we're back to like, Season 1 lighting?" And no, they just needed to do that to put some contrast with this part of the episode.

C: Yeah. Usually, I fucking hate when Supernatural changes its coloring or lighting or whatever when they're in a new state-

G: It's good here, though.

C: - But yeah, this is subtle enough, and it doesn't look like shit, like Purgatory. Though I still contend that Purgatory looks like shit so that no one can make AMVs of the gay moments that look good. I think it was an act of aggression against gay AMV makers.

G: Yeah, exactly.

C: But yeah, this looks fine. This looks good.

Dean wakes up on a bench, and you know, some dumb cop tells him to move, and he can't sleep here, and Dean goes "Sleep where?" And the cop says, “Anywhere but here.” Which is not true, he would kick Dean off of the next bench.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah, and when Dean was transported, the leather jacket, as we mentioned, is still on his lap, and he lifts it up to show that he has John's journal and his phone there. But there is no cell signal. So he sighs and he gets up and he goes into a diner called Jay Bird's Diner, and the camera zooms in on an ad on the bench that's for sugar-free Tab, which I think is a discontinued soda brand so like, it's like, "Ooh, we're in the past!"

G: Oh, that's what it means. That's what it means. I had no idea why they were doing it. I was like, "What the fuck is this?" [laughs]

C: Right, like, did they get a sponsorship with Tab?

G: Yeah. So Dean enters the diner and immediately, like, there's a guy in focus. Just a guy. Just a guy. And the guy's like, handsome. Hate to admit it, love to see it. [C laughs] Yeah. And Dean like, sits beside this guy and, like, you know, he asks, like, "Where am I?" And the guy's like, "We're in a diner." And he's like, "No, no, no, no, like, city and state." And the guy says, “Lawrence, Kansas,” So baby, they're in Lawrence. And the guys like, [deepens voice] "He-ey. You okay, buddy?" Like, that's how he speaks. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. Exactly like that.

G: Is that offensive? Is that offensive? I am so sorry.

C: Oh, wait. Offensive how?

G: That is how he speaks, right?

C: I think so. I don't remember.

G: No, but he speaks with like, a certain twang. Like, he doesn't speak the way Dean speaks, I would say.

C: I have erased all memory of this man's voice from my mind. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. And Dean is like, trying to brush it off as like, "Oh, I'm having a hangover," whatever. And they ask for coffee. He asks where to get some signal. Like, he brings up his phone. And John like, looks at the phone and goes- well, the man, I suppose. [C laughs] We're still not sure it's John. Whatever. We've spoiled- like, you know what the fuck this episode is about. That's John. The guy's John. And he goes like, "Yeah, I mean the USS Enterprise?" Love that. I think this is our very first Star Trek reference in the show.

C: Oh, is that what it is?

G: Yeah.

C: Ohh, okay.

G: Why, what did you think it was?

C: Because when I googled "uss enterprise," the first thing that came up was like, an actual like-

G: Spaceship.

C: - aircraft carrier. No, it's like, a naval vessel that was part of the Vietnam War, and I was like, "Well, John's a filthy, filthy ex-Marine, so that's probably what he's referencing." But you're right. It's probably probably Star Trek because it's about how high-tech and futuristic Dean's phone was. But this is not our first Star Trek reference, because Dean in the last episode mentioned The Star Trek Experience as well as one of the things he wanted to go to before he-

G: Oh, yeah! This is interesting. Apparently, USS Enterprise has been like, a name for stuff prior. Like, this one is from 1958, history from 1960s to 1970s. Same goes for the other. Like, Star Trek happened in 1960-something, so they copied the name of the ship.

C: Yeah. Interesting

G: Or an aircraft- yeah.

C: But yeah, I do love this moment because John is talking like Dean. You know, like, that is how Dean would respond. He would be completely unhelpful and make a snarky pop culture reference.

G: Yeah!

C: So like, you know. That's where he gets it.

G: Yeah. Yeah. And then at some point like, the server comes up, and it's a guy, and he's wearing a very 70s outfit. And Dean comments about this. Like, he says, like, “Nice threads. You know Sonny and Cher broke up, right?" And then- [laughing] like, this is the most serious we see John in this episode. [C laughing] He goes [small, sad voice] "Sonny and Cher broke up?" [C laughs] And he shares a look with the guy, and it's a whole thing. I mean, I had to google this. I didn't know Sonny and Cher is like, a music duo/husband and wife, I think.

C: Yeah. They divorced in 1975. John is about to get his heart broken bits in 2 years.

G: Yeah. And then Dean is like, "What is going on?" So he starts looking around, and there's like, a headline. He sees that John is carrying a newspaper. He's reading a newspaper. And it's like, the headline is about Nixon, and the date is April 30th, 1973. Slay.

C: Yeah. So in 1973, Mary and John are both 19 years old. They are babies. They are tiny.

G: They are! But this is 19-year-old John? He looks like, 23. Like, they look like that, you know?

C: Oh, well, Billie Piper was 23 when she played Rose in Season 1 of new Doctor Who, who is a 19-year-old, so.

G: No, I think more what I'm trying to say is, like, people from older generations, because they dress that way, even if they're younger, they look older. Because, like, in our head, like, the clothes are- you know what I mean?

C: Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.

G: Yeah, like, we associate the clothes with the era, with the generation. So therefore, like, if they wear those clothes, they'll look older, no matter what. I like that.

C: I'm also just very bothered by it not being November 2nd, or like, November 1st because, the Azazel deal happens tomorrow. Like, I thought that part of demon deals is that it's like, exactly 10 years, but he just meant like, 10 years-ish. Like, 10 years, and also like, 6 months.

G: Yeah, that's true. It should have been November.

C: Yeah. Sad!

G: Yeah. And then somebody enters the diner and goes, "Hey, Winchester!" And Dean looks over. obviously. And then the guy like, goes over him towards John and shakes John's hand,

and Dean like, turns around, like, "What?" The guy comes over and is like, "How are you doing, corporal?" And like, the- the John. [laughs] John is like talking to this guy, and the guy namedrops that, you know, "Good to have home, John." Blah blah blah. And Dean looks at him and goes, "Dad?" [C laughs] And the guy who John is talking to says, "Say hello to your old man for me." Which is an interesting line. Because I thought-

C: Oh, yeah. Isn't Henry Winchester missing? [laughs]

G: Yeah. "Say hello to your missing, probably dead dad for me." [C laughs] Love Henry Winchester as well, by the way.

C: I don't know much about him, but I've heard him described as a DILF.

G: Season 8. He is a DILF! That's my only comment.

C: Speaking of dilves, why does this man look nothing like JDM?

G: Who? Current guy?

C: The young John actor just doesn't look like JDM. Which is fine.

G: I think his name's Matt. Like, Matt something.

C: I'm going to look up young Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Maybe he just aged very weird.

G: Young- oh, the last time we looked up young Jeffrey Dean Morgan- [laughing]

C: Oh. You started moaning and whimpering? [G laughing]

G: Yeah. So I'm not going to do that.

C: He doesn't look that much like the young John-

G: Matt Cohen?

C: But he also doesn't look that much like himself. He mostly looks like Elvis. So.

G: Yeah. Yeah! I think it's- this is fascinating because Matt Cohen- let's look up Matt Cohen. He is in Supernatural for so little.

C: Mm.

G: He was in, I think, 4 episodes.

C: In 3 episodes. "In the Beginning," "The Song Remains the Same," and "Baby," it says.

G: Yeah, he was in "Baby." Love that scene, actually. But like, he was in 3 episodes, he directed 1 episode, and yet [laughs] this guy is in the Supernatural fucking con circuit. [C laughs] And I remember thinking at some point like, "Damn. Like, you can literally milk the shit out of anything in this show." Like, you're in one episode of this show. If you're beloved enough by the fandom, you can literally milk the shit out of like, the con circuit.

C: Yeah.

G: I respect that. I respect that.

C: I don't [G laughs], but I support him.

G: I support him. He was literally in 3 episodes. To be fair, he has a significant role. Like, John Winchester is a significant character, and he played a significant character. And also, "Baby" is pretty cool. Like, his scene, in "Baby" is pretty cool. So I forgive him.

So the man walks away, and John is trying to drink his coffee and read his newspaper, but, like, he can't stop not noticing Dean, who is just staring at him, mouth agape. And he finally turns to Dean and goes, "Do we know each other?" And Dean just goes, "I guess not." And John is like, "Okay," and he stands up and goes, "Take it easy, pal." And I love that. I love the word "pal." I love it. And then we get the title card.

-

C: So Dean walks out of the diner, and, you know, he turns a corner, and who's there? Who's there? Who's there? The hottest person alive? Hello? Castiel? Him? He's there

G: He is there.

C: Yeah, and we haven't mentioned yet that much how fun it is the way that angels appear and disappear in Supernatural.

G: Yeah! It's like a sleight-of-hand situation.

C: They never show them fucking Powerpoint transition disappearing into the air.

G: They should, though. [C laughs] Like, I want to see Cas go from a completely- this joke is ruined because I forgot the word.

C: Solid?

G: What do you call the opposite of transparent?

C: Opaque?

G: Okay, like- We should, though we should see Cas go from completely opaque to translucent to transparent. I would love to see it.

C: Yeah. Yeah. They should do it in pieces so that we see his skeletal system.

G: [laughing] Yeah! They should remove his clothes first, and-

C: No!

G: No. But like, I would love to see Cas's muscular system.

C: The thing about Cas is that he's not hot without the trench coat.

G: Yeah, that's true.

C: Is this a controversial take?

G: He has to be like-

C: The trenchcoat stays on in bed.

G: Exactly. He takes off everything, and then he puts the trenchcoat on.

C: Exactly.

G: Yeah.

C: Anyway, so yeah, it's a sleight-of-hand situation. It's always that like, the camera's away, and then it's swivels over, and then either like, an angel has appeared or disappeared. And it looks really cool.

G: It just reminds me of this- one time I went to a birthday party when I was really young, and one of the trick was like, the clown was saying that, like, "I'm gonna turn this spoon- I'm going to bend this spoon without touching it." And then, like, he has a clown buddy. Like, he has an assistant. And the clown assistant like, goes up to his ear and goes like, whispers something, and then he goes, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we have our- a special guest arriving right now!" And then he points towards the entrance of the venue, which is like, at the back of the room. So you go look at it, and then, the moment you look forward he's like, "I guess our special guest is delayed. Anyway! The spoon has been bent." [both laughing]

C: Oh my god, that's so low-effort!

G: [laughing] This is a core memory for me.

C: Oh my god, this is so unrelated, I don't know why I'm bringing this up. You can put it in an outtake or something. But like, when you talk about magic tricks, the main thing that I remember is like, at, like, my high school senior, like, going away fest, like, they hired a hypnotist, and they like, got like, our class president as a volunteer, and he was hypnotizing him. And he was like, "Oh, like, imagine a girl like, a beautiful girl, and like, you're getting married," and like, this guy like, half-hypnotized mumbles, "I'm gay." [both laughing] Like, it's-

G: [laughing] He literally is gay. He literally is gay.

C: Yeah. And then the magician goes, "Oh, well, even gay people can be lonely." Like- [both laughing] They hired this man! For high school senior going away thing. Anyway, that's the core memory for me. [G laughing]

G: Literally, even gay people can be lonely! [C laughs] What even is going on?

C: Anyway, so Dean is, you know, very intense, very in his emotions, asking like, "What is this?" And Cas just asks, "What does it look like?" And Dean asks, "Is it real?" And Cas says, "Very." I love that! It is very! And Dean asks about how this happens, and Cas says, “Wibbly wobbly timey wimey,” but he actually says-

G: [laughing] He says! [laughing]

C: What?

G: When I heard this, he said, "Time is fluid, Dean. It's not easy, but we can bend it on occasion." Like, my first thought is, "This is what the Warner Brothers guys [C screams] said to Misha Collins when-" [both laughing]

C: Fuck!

C: He literally did, though.

C: Sexuality is fluid, Misha. It's not easy, but we can bend it on occasion.

G: Literally!

C: God, this news fucking [laughing] is ruining our podcast.

G: Yeah, this podcast is not gonna age well at all.

C: Yeah. [laughing] One year later when he comes out as bi for real.

G: Yeah! You know.

C: God, I fucking hope not. Anyway.

Yeah. And Dean, as Misha Collins says, “Well, bend it back.”

G: Literally. Bend it back.

C: Yeah. And Cas says that he's here to "stop it." and Dean says, “Stop what? Is there something like, coming after my dad?” And then there's like, a car horn so he turns around, and then Cas disappears.

G: Bye, Cas.

C: Dean yells something about like, "Are you allergic to straight answers, you son of a bitch?" blah blah blah.

G: [laughing] He's allergic to straight answers for real.

C: Straight. Yeah. And I do really like that a lot of the angels we meet do something similar to this in that, you know, Gabriel had his "Mystery Spot" and "Changing Channels" episodes, and Zachariah had his Endverse, and, like- what's it called? "It's a Terrible Life"? - episodes. Like, each angel has some form of reality bending power that they use to teach Sam and Dean lessons. But, like, they're like, specific to the personalities of the angels. And I wonder what Cas's thing just being time travel means. Like, is it about him not having that much of an imagination right now, or having a commitment to the truth, or like, believing that Dean should like, learn his own lessons with like, just what happened, instead of like, actually manipulating like, things and making AUs and shit? Like, what does it mean?

G: It could be because he's lower down the order of angels.

C: Oh, yeah, that's true.

G: And, like, you like, you can't really create a new reality, because, you know.

C: Yeah. God, I love how Cas is not even high-ranking in any way.

G: Yeah!

C: And he's still shown to be the coolest motherfucker ever in the beginning of season 4.

G: He's just some angel.

-

G: We're at Rainbow Motors Car Dealership now. Love that.

C: Gay as hell. Fellas, is it gay to buy a car from Rainbow Motors?

G: Yeah. And there's a salesman, and he is selling John a van.

C: Yes. It's beautiful. The show was made worse by them not driving around in this car.

G: They need to be in a van. Dean like, shows up. He's leaning up against a car-

C: I think we need to describe what this van looks like, because I feel like, "van" doesn't describe it well enough. It is [both] beige. It is a Volkswagen. And it is shaped like-

G: A fridge.

C: Like, it has like, a square face, maybe a rectangle face, like, tall way rectangle face. And then, like, probably like, front seat, and then 2 rows after it, probably. But it's also not very big. It just looks like a cube that was slightly stretched and beige.

G: It literally does look like a fridge, though. Like, it looks like, one of those fridges that are like, you know what I mean? Like, "oh, a cute fridge," like, for your skincare and stuff? You know people do that?

C: They do what?

G: They put like, a fridge in their room, and it's for skincare.

C: I own one bottle of acne wash and 2 bottles of expired acne wash [G laughs] because I didn't use enough of them before the expiration date.

G: I am the type of person where, if my skincare is expired, I go, "God take the wheel," and then I put it on my face. I'm pretty sure all my skincare is expired

C: Real and correct.

G: Love that. Love that. I don't even use moisturizer on my face anymore. I use body lotion my face. Life is a fuck.

C: You own body lotion? That is different from my life.

G: I have psoriasis!

C: That's a good point. Is that called body lotion even if it's like- I assumed it was like, medical grade something something.

G: No, no, no. I just use unscented body lotion.

C: Oh, okay.

G: Yeah. And Dean is like, [annoying voice] "That's not the one you wanttt." That's not the voice he puts on, but, like, it could have been. It could have been.

C: He is splayed out across the hood of the Impala like a Playboy magazine model.

G: Yeah. At this point, the Chevy Impala is already old. It's almost a decade old already.

C: I mean, if we're rounding 6 up to 10, sure.

G: No, but like, it is, though. Like, at some point, like, is it like, 5 years? The cutoff. Like, after 5 years, you should probably change your car. That's what people say.

C: What? Five?

G: That's what people say. We don't follow that. We bought a secondhand car.

C: Who says that? Does anyone say that? Five years?

G: I think, like, in Japan, they say that. Like, that's what my mom told me.

C: Okay. I was about- When you said that "In Japan, they say that," I was like, "Did you get this from Yakuza or from Ace Attorney?" [G laughs/screams]

G: I'm trying to look. I'm trying to look. But [laughs] that is such a funny thing to say. My mom told me that. And like, you know how there's a lot of Japanese, like, what do you call it? Like, they just sell you stuff? What do you call that?

C: Salespeople?

G: Dollar store?

C: Oh, like Daiso? Like Daiso?

G: No, not Daiso. Big ones. Like, they sell you fridges and stuff.

C: Like, a department store, or- like Sears? What is Sears?

G: No, it's like a- I think it's like secondhand shop, but it's like, appliances.

C: Okay. Oh, interesting.

G: Or like, you know, like, plates, stuff like that. And like, I asked my mom once like, "Why is it that there are so many shops that are like, 'Oh, these all of these stuff are from Japan,' and it's like, almost new." Like, there's a stovetop, and it's almost new and it's from Japan or whatever. And my mom said like, "Oh, people in Japan just like, get rid of things after 5 years." [laughs] So that's where I got that from. Maybe she was lying to me.

C: Okay, I hope we're not perpetuating stereotypes about Japanese people in Busty Asian Beauties, the podcast. [both laughing]

G: No, no- are there- I mean, obviously there's not many stores like that in the United States, but there's a lot in the Philippines.

C: As far as I remember, I haven't encountered them.

G: Like, the joke is like, the Philippines is where, you know, people dispose their shit. So like, yeah. I don't know. Is 5 years old for a car?

C: I don't think so. Like, we still have a car that is as old as I am.

G: Yeah, and I'm pretty sure the car that is as old as I am or older than me, even though it's not with our family anymore, is still running. So like, I don't think it's that old. But like, 40 years. That's old for a car, right?

C: 40? Yeah, I think so. At some point, the owner dies.

G: Yeah. [laughs] Like, if the owner died inside the car, like, that old. Yeah.

C: Yeah.

G: And you know what? No, John did not die inside the Impala. I was gonna say some convoluted reason, some convoluted way-

C: Dean was supposed to die inside the Impala.

G: Yeah. He was meant to die inside the Impala but he didn't-

C: Which is very sad.

G: And John didn't die inside the Impala.

C: Which is very sad.

G: Has anyone died inside the Impala? Mary. [laughs]

C: Did she?

G: [laughing] I mean, you said she died, and she drove off into the ether, and then like, she comes back alive or whatever.

C: Oh, Mary in the fucking Winchesters. I think she never actually died. They just assumed that she was gonna die. But then she comes out like, passed out in the back seat, and Dean carries her out, or some shit. I don't know.

G: Love that. Love that. [laughing] I'm still laughing at "Where did you learn that? Ace Attorney or Yakuza?" [both laugh] God. Yeah.

Anyway, Dean says like, “Oh. I'm not following you or anything, but I didn't thank you for the coffee this morning, so I'm gonna repay the favor.” And then he opens up the Impala, and then he starts telling John like, "This has blahblah horsepower and blahblah-" well, he doesn't say horsepower. He says “horses,” which is funny to me.

C: Horses.

G: And then like, barrels and stuff? I don't fucking know anything about cars.

C: Yeah.

G: And then John literally just goes, "You know, man, you're right." Which is like, so wild. Like, his heart was not in that van at all if, like, a random, weird guy who is following him shows up and is like, "Hey, you should buy this other car," and he's like, "Yeah, I bet."

C: Well, doesn't he say later that he's only buying the van because he promised Mary he would buy the van?

G: No, yeah. But like, still! You should commit.

C: Okay, also, did you notice the deleted scene in the transcript, where, after John drives the car over, the deleted scene is just that after Mary sees the Impala, she says, “I hate it.” Like, they just cut that line out. [both laughing]

G: And she does hate it!

C: But she's fucked that car

G: She's fucked in that car? That's true.

C: She has fucked that car.

G: What do you mean?

C: As in, when she comes back to life, doesn't she like, greet the car like, "Hey, Baby," in a way where it's like, "Oh, she's fucked that car."

G: Well, she fucked in the car for sure, so I'm just going off of that.

C: Yes. And she also stuck her strap-on into the exhaust pipes.

G: [laughs] Yeah, maybe perhaps. That scene is so funny. Anyway, let's talk about future seasons in future episodes.

C: Yeah, okay.

G: They introduce themselves. And John, you know, says he's John Winchester and Dean obviously can't say he's Dean Winchester, so he says he's Dean Van Halen. He's so funny.

C: Stupidass.

G: Also, like, I looked up, and apparently Van Halen was formed in 1973. But like, they didn't become famous until after. So, like, this is fine.

C: Oh, okay. That's fine then. Yeah.

G: Yeah. Dean starts sniffing out the case. He's like, "Oh, I was a bit hung over. But like, I was getting the chills. Like, did you get any cold spots?" And John, like, completely unaware, just keeps on going like, "No," "no," about everything. Like, at some point, Dean is like, "Did you happen to smell any sulfur?" Do you think, Crystal, that if you smelled sulfur, you'd know exactly what it smells like?

C: Well, it's supposed to smell like rotten eggs. I feel like I know what rotten eggs smell like.

G: You've smelled a rotten egg?

C: It's more likely that I've smelled sulfur than a rotten egg. Like, in a science experiment.

G: Yeah. But like, you recognize that immediately?

C: I think so.

G: Okay, good for you, then. [C laughing] Fucking-

C: Nerd.

G: - non-binary ass looking person in STEM. [C laughing]

G: Okay. [laughs] At some point, Dean asks for cattle mutilations, and John just goes, "Dude. What the fuck?"

C: He says, “Okay, mister, stop it.” I love that.

G: "Okay, mister."

C: Does he think Dean's older than him? Dean is older than him. How old is Dean at this point? Dean was 26 in the first season-

G: 29. 29.

C: Oh my god. Dean's 10 years older than John right now!

G: And he doesn't look like it. I mean, I guess it's because of the whole like-

C: Drop the skincare routine.

G: No, because we know. Like, we know. So that's why. But he literally is 29! And I've been saying this. I have been saying this, and other people have been saying this, there's an AMV for it and everything. But he literally met Cas when he was 29! It makes it so so so so emo. Because of that fucking one song-

C: Oh, the post that's like, "If you're worried about not finding love early, remember that Dean and Cas met when Dean was 29 and Cas was a 1 billion or some shit"?

G: No, literally, though. Like, he met Cas at 29.

C: Yeah.

G: I- like, one time, I was talking to a friend, and I literally brought this up. Like, she was telling me that, like, "I'm so afraid like, when you're young, like, love is different, and like, it's just difficult to love someone you didn't grow up with." And I was like, "Girl. [laughing] Dean and Cas [both laughing] met when Dean was 29." [both laughing/screaming]

C: And she immediately felt better forever and never had an insecurity again?

G: Yeah, it worked.

C: Nice.

G: Destiel therapy works.

Dean like, just goes like, "Oh, okay, fine, I'll stop. Watch out for yourself, okay?" And John's like, "Okay." And despite all this, despite all the weirdness that Dean just exhibited, the car salesperson goes up and goes, "So?" And John goes, "I'll take this car."

C: Yeah, like, "Watch out for yourself, okay?" makes it seem like Dean is like, sent to assassinate him and there is a bomb in this car.

G: Yeah! [laughs] And he still took it!

C: He still took it.

G: Yeah.

-

C: So we cut to outside the Campbells' house. It's like, a nice house. It's got white walls, and, I don't know. It's fun. And he drives up in an Impala, and then we see Mary!

G: Hi, Mary!

C: It's Mary. She looks so good. She has like, wavy hair, and she's wearing this like-

G: Do you think she's wearing a wig?

C: Oh, like, the actress?

G: Yeah.

C: I can't tell.

G: Sorry for cutting you off.

C: Don't worry. I can't tell. Do you think she's wearing a wig?

G: I don't know. I think every blonde person is wearing a wig ever. [both laugh] I don't think I've ever seen genuine like, born blonde-type blonde hair in my life.

C: Yeah. That makes sense.

G: So like, whenever I see it on TV, I'm like, "Hm. Is that what it looks like?" Yeah. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. I think it's not a wig.

G: Yeah, but she looks like a Barbie doll. So I was like, "Is that- is the hair synthetic?" I would love it if it is. I mean, isn't wearing wigs a thing in like, television and movies and stuff? Or is that just in movies?

C: Yeah, there are a lot of wigs in movies, at least. And there's one very important wig from Party City in Supernatural. [G laughs]

G: No, I think what I'm thinking about this is perhaps because Mary's hair is so 70s, and like, maybe during the 70s, there was more wigs in movies. You know what I mean? So like, the the look has associated with wigs to me or whatever.

C: Huh, okay.

G: Whatever. But like, every time I look at her, I'm like, "Her hair is so beautiful. Is it synthetic? Would love to know. Would love to have that hair." And also, her eyelashes are so, so, so long! I know she's wearing mascara, but still.

C: Yeah. Her eyes are huge, her eyelashes are long. Yeah.

G: Her brows are normal.

C: Her brows are normal, which is the most important part of it. And I love her outfit. Like, she's wearing like, a white cowboy shirt sort of thing. There's like-

G: Sam has worn something similar to this. Remember?

C: Yeah, like, earlier in Season 4, or-?

G: I don't know. Maybe like, maybe he wears it in the future, but he wears like, something that looks kind of like this. And I love it.

C: Yeah. And there's like, roses ironed onto the shoulders, and like, she's in jeans, and she's wearing this like, braided leather belt, and she just looks so good! I love her fit. She like, comes out of the house and runs over and sees the Impala, and she's like, "What's this?" So she asks John like, "Hey, what the fuck is this like? Like, why isn't this the van?" And John starts going like, "Mary, this is better than the van! This has got a 327 and a four-barrel carburetor-" I, for all I know, he's making up words, but he probably isn't. Like, his mom is a mechanic, so I guess he knows shit.

G: And he is a mechanic from a family of mechanics, as he says later.

C: That is true. And Dean goes, "Mom?"

G: Ooh.

C: And he decides to continue spying on them into their date. They're at a diner. They're drinking milkshakes. Mary is a strawberry girl, so true. And we get, you know, a lovely, lovely line. [laughs] I just think that Jeremy Carver is obsessed with incest. Where Dean, watching through the window, goes, "Sammy, wherever you are, Mom is a babe. I'm going to Hell. Again."

G: Again.

C: Put him back in the- Put him back in the ground. Like, not enough people are saying this, [G laughs] but we just need to- like, for 50 cents, you can help put another Dean Winchester back in the ground.

G: Yeah.

C: It's very unfunny, and "I'm going to Hell," and then the "again," like, Jeremy Carver's working way too hard to hammer the joke home. It's not working for me.

Alright. So we cut inside the diner, and they're talking about how Mary's dad doesn't approve of John. Apparently, they've been dating for years, and it's still a problem. Mary says that he's just protective, and John goes like, "Oh, does he have a problem with you hooking up with a mechanic from a family of mechanics?" What is the Campbells' like, cover job? Like, are they going around telling everyone they're like, the CEO of PepsiCo? Like, they don't have jobs, do they? Besides hunting? Or do they?

G: Why is this the issue? I don't know.

C: I don't know. And then Mary goes like, "No, I love you for exactly what you are." Which John echoes later in the episode, right?

G: Yeah. It's so corny. But like, I understand, they're young, whatever.

C: Yeah. I still read Mary as aromantic, or I find that the most interesting reading of Mary. So her saying corny shit that doesn't seem to make any- doesn't seem to have any real sentiment behind it feels right. And she goes like, "Okay, wait. I'll be right back." And she heads out somewhere, and then John pulls out like, a little ring box from inside his jacket. But he wasn't planning to propose at this dinner thing, because he didn't, so I don't know why he has it on him now.

G: Well, I mean, I think that's reasonable. Like, you get a ring, you bring it everywhere.

C: Yeah, I guess fanfiction has had that happen before. [G laughs]

G: Which is your only basis for romance.

C: Yes.

G: That's such a mean thing to say, I'm so sorry! I am so sorry.

C: Don't worry. [laughs] I did not read it as a personal slight, just like, a general thing you would say.

G: Literally an observation.

C: 19 is so early to get engaged, says the guy who got engaged at 21. [laughs] But anyway.

G: Yeah! You know, recently, Crystal asked me- [both laughing]

C: Offered.

G: Offered marriage.

C: For a visa. But now that we're saying this on a podcast, we can never do it, because the government will know that it's fake. So there goes that chance.

G: It literally is for the visa, though, is the thing. But, you know, technically, I am also Crystal's ex-fiance. So that's great.

C: Good point. I offered it, and you were like, "Huh, maybe," and then in this moment, we made it impossible. So good job, you did it.

G: Yeah.

So outside the diner, Dean is still, you know, watching in, and is like, "What's happening?" And then Mary shows up behind Dean and starts attacking the shit out of him. It's- I like Mary's wiping style.

C: Yeah.

G: Because it's like, it's obvious that, like, she wasn't taught self-defense. She was taught how to attack. But also specifically, she was taught how to attack a man. And I like that. She kicks him in the dick-

C: In the crotch, yeah.

G: Yeah, and, I don't know. I like her stance and everything. This is all unrelated to what I said earlier, but like, I don't know. The way she holds her hands up, I was like, "Yeah, that's realistic, I think." I've never been in a fight, but like, I've tried to go do kickboxing in my life. And it's like, yeah, love that for her. She points out that this guy, Dean - love that. "This guy." - She points out that Dean has been following them since, like, her house, and Dean's like, "I don't know what you're talking about!" And Mary's like, still trying to attack him when Dean grabs her and like, pins her against the wall, and he goes like, "Let's talk about this," and Mary is like, "No, no, no!" And then Dean sees the bracelet. And the bracelet is, like, one of those bracelets that you see on Etsy-

C: Yeah, it's a charm bracelet.

G: - that's like "Supernatural Charm Bracelet." And you literally- I don't know why I said it like that, but you literally do see this on Etsy. If look up "Supernatural-" like, I don't know. "spn blah blah blah" on Etsy, this is what will show up. And Dean sees this and like, slowly takes his hand off her and goes-

C: Oh, to clarify, like, there are charms on it that are like, anti-possession, like, blah blah blah.

G: [laughing] No, it's not like, a Cas charm or whatever. [both laugh]

C: And this is such a good reveal! Because we didn't know, and John doesn't know either, right?

G: Yeah! Like, it's the fact that it's unknown to like, everyone at all. And, do you think like, John figured out at some point?

C: No.

G: He should have, right?

C: He should have, but I don't think he did. I mean, I'm confused about how she explained her dad's corpse right next to him after her dad tried to kill him [G laughs] at the end of this episode, but, like, I feel like she explained it. Because John didn't know about hunting until Mary died, right?

G: Yeah, but like, he was talking to everyone related to Mary, you know.

C: After she died.

G: Yeah, but somebody's gotta give, right?

C: Eh, I mean, if all of them are distrustful, I don't think somebody had to.

G: That's true.

C: And I don't think he's that close with Mary's family, anyway. It's not like any of them offered to take Sam and Dean in. Or like, Sam and Dean didn't really seem to have extended family on Mary's side that they knew.

G: That's true.

C: Yeah. And I just love that like, we don't even learn this from Ruby when she was doing all her background research on Mary.

G: Yeah, when she was like, "Sam, do this, do that, do this, do that." We don't find it out from there. It really is just you have to go back to the past.

C: Yeah. And also, like, all of Mary's friends and family were killed by demons after she died as a cover-up. So there was no way for them to know.

G: Yeah, but it's kind of unknown whether like, those deaths are recent or whatever.

C: Oh, that's true. That's true. They were like, in like, 2004-type shit. You're right.

G: Yeah.

C: So they could have known. But they didn't know. And I feel like this is the first part of the breaking down the Mary mythology, as like, you know, "innocent, pure, civilian, didn't know anything, and was just the victim of this demon for no reason." And it's so fun! I love it. I love it, and they've been building up to it for multiple seasons now, and it's great. God fucking bless.

-

C: We go back to John, Mary, husband and wife, bringing home a brand new car.

G: Yeah.

C: His name is Baby, and I'm big brother Dean. But anyway [both laugh]- but, right, so he takes her home after the date. And, you know, they kiss. And Dean is standing behind a tree, so apparently, he and Mary have arranged to meet up after the date. Dean does some corny shit where he's like, "You can trust me because we're all hunters. So like, we're practically [both] family."

G: So fucking corny.

C: Yeah. And Mary is like, "Oh, my dad will probably not love this," and Dean's like, “Oh my god, I haave to meet him," because I guess he probably knew as a child that his grandparents were dead, so this would have been his only chance. And she takes him inside, and you know, Samuel's- like, he gives him a quiz about how to kill a vampire to make sure he's a hunter, but then he says that he doesn't trust other hunters, so he still wants Dean to fuck off. But then, Deanna, who is his wife, Dean's grandmother, etc., is like, "Oh, stop being so mean. I'm gonna invite him to join us for dinner." And this is when Deanna reveals that her name is Deanna and her husband's name is Samuel. And Dean is surprised at this, which means that he did not know who he and Sam were named after.

Does he think it's corny? Is that what the "really?" is about.

G: No, I don't think he's- well, I don't think it's corny, but I don't know what he thinks.

C: Mm. I think it's corny because it was clearly written for this episode. Like, Jeremy Carver was like, "Oh, I don't know what Mary's parents should be named." And then he stared at a sheet of paper, and then slowly wrote down "Sam" and "Dean." And then he added several letters to the end of both of those words.

-

G: So they sit down for dinner. And this scene, I find so interesting. I mean, I'll probably put this at the end, whatever. But like, in Pentiment, which is a game that I love, there is a portion where you can choose who to have lunch and dinner with, and then you eat with them. And like, eating with them, based on what you're eating and the conversations you're having during the meal, you can find out things about who these people are, and like, about the case that you're trying to solve.

C: Yeah.

G: And like, I tried to observe this scene from that perspective. I didn't really get a good block of what they were eating. I think it's just like, mashed potatoes or whatever the fuck.

C: I think there was salad there also?

G: Yeah. But I think what I paid most close attention to is the body language.

C: Mm. You're a body language expert?

G: Is that a reference to anything?

C: I think there's just people who call themselves body language experts who are really annoying on the internet, that's it. [both laugh]

G: Yeah. And I am really annoying on the internet, so it fits.

Samuel is like, turned away for like, a big part of the meal. He is sitting- like, he's turned to the side, and I thought that was so interesting. And like, he only turns to Dean, really, when they start talking about like, his case, and Dean is like, "Oh, we kind of have the same case, I think." I thought it was interesting also- like, in Pentiment, I happened to have one meal with a family where the dad is so fucking annoying, and everyone in his family is like, so grueled by this, and, like, it reminded me of this. And it's like, I think it's so fascinating sometimes, you know how like, the dad is the head of the table and also controls where the conversation is and how the conversation goes. I don't really have a comment to make other than, you know, it's a thing that happens. But, like, I think it's so interesting, especially when I see it in media. Because I don't really experience that that much, but like, it's so dominant, especially in American media, I feel, where the dad is the one who is doing the talking and blah blah blah blah.

So Deanna starts asking questions about like, if Dean is from Lawrence, and Dean says like, “It's been a while, things sure have changed. I think.” Which, you know, if you get transported back through time, I feel like, try to be more [C laughs]- like, he keeps on trying to make these jokes that are like, only for him. And it's like, "Dude, shut the fuck up." Just talk normally.

And then they start- like, Samuel starts asking if he's working a job, and he's like, "I don't trust other hunters, either, you know," and Mary asks why Dean was following John and her, and he says that he thought John was in danger but now he doesn't think so. And Deanna starts making comments about John being like, "Oh, John, like, getting involved with the supernatural? What a funny concept!" And then Samuel makes a face, and Mary is like, "I saw that." And John, this is when we learn- well, we learned earlier. But this is when we see that Samuel doesn't really like John. Like, he thinks John is like, too naive. And Mary says a funny line. Like, she says. “So what? You'd rather me with a guy like this?" to Dean with such obvious distaste, and like, "eugh!" Like, "You want me to be with a guy like this?" And Dean is like, [hurt] "What? What? What?" like, he's so fucking annoying. [laughing] Samuel said, "Of course not." [both laughing] I was laughing my ass off. Literally "You want me to be with a guy like Dean?" "Of course not."

C: Yeah. I'm so glad we finally had a woman on Supernatural that doesn't think Dean is so hot. And she's only allowed to do that because she is his mother.

G: Literally.

C: But at least we got there eventually.

G: We got there eventually. And Dean asks Samuel if he is working a job, and they start talking about this one farm, and then they figure out that it's demonic omens is what's happening. Dean says that “This sounds like the exact same thing I'm hunting. So if we go together, we can take this out quick." And Samuel turns this down in a "I don't work with people. Don't you understand that?"

C: Yeah. Also, like, I feel like, we don't learn that much about Deanna in this episode-

G: We really don't.

C: But she does chime in when they're talking about the case where she talks about like, electrical storms being part of the omens, and how they've ordered like, graphs from the weather service. So I think it can be implied that she is like, more on the research end. Like, she's still involved in cases, but not in like, direct field work.

G: She's like the Bobby of the family.

C: Yeah.

-

C: We cut to the farm, the Whitshire farm, which is where the case is. And Mary and Samuel are outside of the truck, and Samuel's in a priest outfit. Mary is not really dressed for combat. She's like, in a dress and cowboy boots, but like, she looks great.

G: Should have been a nun. [C laughs] That's my hot take. Put her in a-

C: Habit?

G: What do you call it? Habit.

C: A wimple?

G: Literally.

C: Mary's like, "I don't really want to be here," but Samuel is like, "This is the family business," and asks if she'd rather be waving palms at a bunch of dumb jocks, which means, I guess that's college, right? That's what he thinks she would do in college? Be a cheerleader?

G: He literally was like, "Would you rather have extracurricular activities?" [C laughs] And I literally do not rather have extracurricular activities. So right.

C: Yeah. I wonder if Mary wanted to go to college. Like, she is quite Sam-coded in this episode at points, and I wonder if wanting to go to college is part of that at all.

G: Yeah. "I want to get out."

C: So Mary goes off to interview the victim's son, who's leaning by a tree, whereas Samuel goes over to the house. And after he knocks on the door, Dean opens it, and he is also in a priest outfit.

G: Yas!

C: Where did Dean get this outfit?

G: Yeah, literally, he doesn't have a car-

C: Fucking murdered a priest? [G laughs]

G: He doesn't have a car. He doesn't know this town. Where the fuck did he-

C: He has a car later. I assume he stole a car.

G: Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

C: But yeah, he got a priest outfit, and he's there, and, you know, Samuel's surprised, and Dean's like, "Oh, wow! What a coincidence! Hello! Here's my associate who's fucking old. He's so fucking old."

G: He says, “This is our senior senior priest.” [both laugh] He's so funny.

C: Yeah. And so he's been interviewing the victim's wife. And Samuel asks a few questions and hands her like-

G: Cake.

C: Some food. I can't tell what it is. Cake. Yeah. Do you like, he had to bake that himself?

G: I would assume not. 'Cause it's in- it's covered by like, plastic, or whatever

C: Which implies that he made it himself, because it's not in like, a ready-made like, box, right?

G: Actually have no idea. Because it's on a platter. It's covered by, like, plastic, like, what what is that? C: Yeah, saran wrap?

G: But it's not covered by saran wrap. It's covered by a plastic.

C: Oh, is it? Okay. Okay. Then, yeah, I don't know. I'll assume he bought it then.

And Samuel asks the wife a bit, but, you know, she's just upset that her husband died, and she doesn't have any information to give. So Dean is just like, "Okay, I'm gonna head out." So he goes over to talk to Mary and the son, and Mary notices Dean, and is like, "Okay, cool. Charlie, do you want to tell the father here what you just told me?" And what we learn is that Mr. Whitshire, when he got drunk, he would hit Charlie's mom. And a stranger came over recently, a week ago, and asked Charlie if he wanted the beatings to stop, and he just said like, "Yes." And now his dad is dead.

G: Yeah.

C: And Dean asked if the stranger wanted anything. And Charlie just says, like, “Okay, he said that like, about 10 years from now, he said he'd like, come over for a favor and want something then. But I just thought like, he was crazy and wasn't actually saying anything real." Okay, in this case, and also in the case of Mary's friend- Well, maybe not. Okay, in this case, I don't think a kiss happened, right?

G: Yeah.

C: Like, it seems like Charlie would not kiss a guy that he thought was crazy. Like, it seems like he had no clue that a real transaction happened. What are the rules here? Is it that Charlie's a kid,and they don't do demon kisses for kids?

G: I have no idea.

C: Yeah, 'cause the reason I'm so stuck on this kiss thing is that Jeremy Carver thought it was necessary to have the Mary/Samuel!Azazel kiss, you know. And it's like, "Okay, if you have to show that, then like, why skip the Johnzazel kiss, or why skip like, Bela as a little child kiss, or like, have Charlie probably clearly not kissing this guy?" Like, I think that all of these are things that don't need a kiss, but, like, you kept some of them.

So Mary and Dean discuss it in private a little, and they're like, "Yeah, demon deal." And then Mary asks Charlie what this guy looks like, and he says he was "about 5’10, white and normal-looking." And I like, that, he said white because I feel like they don't say "white" when they ask people about descriptions in Supernatural most of the time. They're sort of operating off of the idea that it's the default. So I'm glad that he said it. But I feel like maybe the reason Jeremy Carver put it in was he was like, "Oh, they don't say the race in present-day because we're like, in an enlightened, post-race society, but in 1973, they do see color." [G laughs]

G: [laughing] I don't think- [laughs]

C: But I don't know Jeremy Carver's head. I don't know his life. But that is sort of what I assumed was going on here. But I think everyone should say "white" when there's a white guy.

Mary asks if there's anything else, and Charlie is like, "Well, there was one thing. When the light hit his eyes in a weird way, they looked..." And Dean goes, "Oh, were they black or red?" And Charlie says, “No, [both] they were yellow!" [G screams]

G: I was so ecstatic. Like, I mean, obviously, I knew that this is where the episode is going. But like, I don't know. The way they did the whole like, reveal of like, it's Yellow-Eyes, I thought it was so cool, and I was so ecstatic when the reveal happened. Because, like, "Okay, the episode's picking up!" Like, "Dean is about to go ball to the wall crazy!" Because it's Yellow-Eyes. Like, he's literally here. And like, the anticipation of, like, Dean doesn't even know where this is going. Like, he thinks he does. He thinks this is all a ploy to get him and Sam out of the life, and, like, I don't know, like, maybe stopping this will stop the apocalypse also. He doesn't know that this is just a lesson to be learned, and he can't do anything, and like, he will try so hard and nothing will happen, and in a way that trying will result in Mary dying.

C: Yup.

G: Because if he didn't figure out- if he didn't tell-

C: Yeah, if he didn't know where the next place the demon was gonna hit, then Mary wouldn't have gone there, and she wouldn't have caught the attention of Yellow-Eyes and such and such.

G: Yeah, like, exactly. Like, in a way, the narrative was always doomed, but also, he doomed the narrative.

C: Do we know who Charlie is the parent of? Is this an earlier iteration of the psychic kids, or is Charlie, perhaps, the parent of a psychic kid that we know.

G: Perhaps he's a parent.

C: Oh, yeah, I know. Like, is he like, the parent of like, one of the rounds of psychic kids death games that we didn't see, or like do you think- who do you think he's the parent of?

G: Obviously, one whose mother didn't die 'cause like- Well, no, because like, Mary, only died because she entered that room. It wasn't because she had to die. So like, the person who makes the deal doesn't have to die.

C: Yeah.

G: I don't know. Who do you think is Charlie a parent of?

C: I don't know.

G: He looks a little bit like the guy with the van. What's his name?

C: Andy?

G: Andy! He looks a little bit like Andy.

C: Nice. Okay, that's my vote also, then. This is Andy's dad.

G: Slay.

-

G: So we go to the Campbell house, and Dean is starting to get a little freaked out, a little hyped up. And he slams a map down on the table, and he's like- they're starting to talk about "I know what this thing is. This thing killed my family. You're in danger. We're all in danger."

C: Also, there's a really fun shot, where, like, while he's yelling, it shows Deanna like, chopping a banana really aggressively or like, quickly.

G: Yeah, not even holding the banana. The banana is just down on the chopping board, and she's just slamming her fucking knife on it. I respect that.

C: Yeah.

G: Deanna comes in like, we don't know what it is even. It could be a shapeshifter, it could be a demon, it could be- and Dean just goes like, "I know what it is, and I'm gonna kill it. That's all the talking I need to do." And like, Dean says that he knows that Daniel Elkins in Colorado has the Colt. The Colt. And Samuel, of course has heard of the Colt, but he thinks it's not real.

C: Yeah, he says he used to tell it to Mary as a bedtime story, which I think is a joke. But it's fun to think of like, a literal like, hunter childhood that involves bedtime stories.

G: Bedtime stories, yes. Dean insists that it's true, and he's gonna get it. Dean basically says that in the journal that he has his, his dad wrote everything and every opportunity that the yellow-eyed demon showed up. And it's obvious that, like, the pages are full of like, future appearances at this point. And Samuel asks, like, "How did your dad know all that?" And he's like [both laugh], he says [laughing], “My dad can see the future.”

C: He's so funny! He's so funny.

G: God, it's so fucking funny. And then he says, like, “Tomorrow, the demon is gonna go to Liddy Walsh. And it's about 3 miles from here, and etc., etc." And Dean says like, "I know you guys think I'm crazy, but I'm gonna stop this thing. And I know where this thing is gonna to be, and I'm gonna kill it."

C: He says, “I'm gonna stop it once and for all.” And I think he's like-

G: Echoing Cas?

C: Reiterating Cas's words, yeah.

G: Yeah.

C: yeah, Good for him. Oh, how many fucking deals is Azazel making? Like, he's doing like, one a day like, all in Kansas?

G: Yeah, he really chose a spot and fucking ran with it. He is committed to the bit.

C: He has his stupid little Nazi speech-

G: God.

C: - about how he's like, picking the best genes to like, whatever the fuck. So like, there's like, a lot of really cool people in Kansas, like, within like, 5 miles of Mary's house, I guess?

-

C: As Dean heads out, he stops by to say goodbye to Mary, and she's like, there, going through her records. She seems disappointed that he's going so soon, and he says, “I wanted to tell you, for what it's worth, it doesn't matter what your dad thinks. I like that John kid. I think you two are meant to be.” [both] Booo.

Have you seen the web wave that uses the poem "I Go Back to May 1937" by Sharon Olds?

G: I think I have, yeah, but like, tell me about it.

C: Oh, I mean, it is like, about Dean, and like, John and Mary, and I think the lines in it- should I just read the entire fucking poem?

G: Yeah, go for it.

C: I don't know how to say it. Okay. I will read the entire fucking poem.

I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges,

I see my father strolling out

under the ochre sandstone arch, the   

red tiles glinting like bent

plates of blood behind his head, I

see my mother with a few light books at her hip

standing at the pillar made of tiny bricks,

the wrought-iron gate still open behind her, its

sword-tips aglow in the May air,

they are about to graduate, they are about to get married,   

they are kids, they are dumb, all they know is they are   

innocent, they would never hurt anybody.   

I want to go up to them and say Stop,   

don’t do it—she’s the wrong woman,   

he’s the wrong man, you are going to do things

you cannot imagine you would ever do,   

you are going to do bad things to children,

you are going to suffer in ways you have not heard of,

you are going to want to die. I want to go

up to them there in the late May sunlight and say it,

her hungry pretty face turning to me,

her pitiful beautiful untouched body,

his arrogant handsome face turning to me,   

his pitiful beautiful untouched body,   

but I don’t do it. I want to live. I

take them up like the male and female

paper dolls and bang them together

at the hips, like chips of flint, as if to

strike sparks from them, I say

Do what you are going to do, and I will tell about it.

Agh!!!! Okay, that's all I have to say.

G: That poem made me emotional. Like, I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. [both laugh]

C: It's a good fucking poem! And he's literally- He wants to live, and he takes them up like the male and female paper dolls and bangs them together at the hips! Agh! Because after this, he says quietly, like, “Hell, I'm depending on it,” like, he is depending on them getting together to live. Ah!

And he asks Mary, "What is John like?" And she's like, "Why?" And he says, “I'm just curious.” Ah, god! Because in “Home,” like, they interviewed someone, and he was like, "Oh, like, John was like, a great kid, and he doted on his children, and he was a great husband, but after his wife died, like, something just went wrong." And, like, Dean probably remembers bit of John not being like, the drill sergeant that he is, but not that much, and he wants to know.

G: Also, I wanna say, it's so funny to me that John was like- I understand that it's a pivotal part of your life, and it's like, blah blah blah! But he was like, in a war for a couple of years [laughing], and he made that his personality for the rest of his life after Mary died. [C laughing] Like, he wasn't even like, in the military. You know what I mean? Like, he's not like, a military man throughout his whole life.

C: Right, yeah. How many years did he fight. Like, 3? [both laugh]

G: Is this so mean? Is this so mean? It is mean.

C: I mean, a lot of- it is very possible to get PTSD from like, things that are 3 years or less. But I know what you mean in that like, there are people who have served for way longer and like, wear their uniform all the time for fun and like, are always talking about being in the military, and like, that's not really John. He just like, decided to turn into that as like, a forever coping mechanism, and that's stupid.

G: Yeah. I'm still thinking about the poem you mentioned, and it's like, it makes me so so so sad that, like, you see them here, and they are just kids, though, like, is the thing.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, you hear them talk to each other, and it's the most generic like, "I love you! I'll never leave you!" and it's like, you don't know the intensity of those words, you know? And like, you don't know the things that will happen, and, "I'll accept you for whoever you are," but like, what if- I don't know. I'm just thinking too, like, that episode in Season 14 where John comes back, and it's like, ah. Even then, like, the love is still there, blah blah blah. We'll get more into this, I feel, when we talk about how John and Mary were basically red-string-of-fate-d by Heaven.

C: Yup.

G: I think that would be a more interesting time to have this kind of conversation, but it is also interesting the whole like, "What do you do with a love that's meant to be in a way that maybe shouldn't have been?" you know, like blah blah blah. God, like, the thing about John and Mary is like, their story is very interesting. It's just that I would rather die than watch The Winchesters. [both laugh]

C: I'm sure that The Winchesters did not make them very interesting or tell their story the way that it is told in Supernatural with all the fate and shit. I mean, well, actually, The Winchesters doesn't matter, because- oh, right, I forgot to tell you. Or do you not know this? This isn't the John and Mary of this universe.

G: What the fuck?

C: This is an alternative universe. Dean has been taking his like, dimension-hopping car to a bunch of alternate universes, like, finding ones where he can make John and Mary happy.

G: That is wild shit. That's not even his parents!

C: Yeah. Yeah. Part of the alternate of the universe is that they're- the, like, chromosomes decided to take different things from both of them, so the kids that they have are not even going to be Sam and Dean. I know this in my heart.

G: Jesus Christ.

C: And the first thing Mary says is, “I don't know,” which I think is so something. She says, “I don't know. He's sweet. Kind. Even after the war, after everything, he still believes in happily ever after, you know? He's everything a hunter isn't." And that's- I know that's something that people have latched onto is that Mary tells John, like, "I love you for what you are," and John tells Mary, "I love you for who you are," and like, this is a "what he is," and what he is is not a hunter.

G: Yeah.

C: He is her special little not-a-hunter chance at normality. She is his- I don't know, like, sort of real girl, but he also knows nothing about her, but he's a paper doll to her. Good for her.

G: God. I feel like they really could have done so much like, so so much with John and Mary in terms of, like, when you're young, like, what love is like. But I don't think that's at all where this story is gonna go. It's fascinating to me because they take it at face value, too, like, the fact that it's like, "They're so young and stupid" kind of vibe. And it's like, I don't know.

C: Yeah, no, the writers of Supernatural are like, "And this is real, correct love."

G: Yeah, like, it's never examined in a certain way. Like, it's never examined in a- you said like, she said, like, "I don't know" about like, her first reaction to like, "What is John like?" I don't know. That's super interesting. Yeah.

C: Also, she said they've been dating for years, but they're both 19, and John was like, in the army before this, right? How have they been dating for years? Did they go to the same high school? I don't think that's part of the John and Mary lore, is it?

G: [laughs] The only John and Mary lore I know is John and Mary, husband and wife, and they brought home a brand new life! [C laughs]

C: That's a very good point. What if they're not even 19? I looked up their birthdays, but let me check again. Like, maybe I'm talking out of my absolute ass.

G: Exactly.

C: Okay. John was born in 1954, which is, plus 19, is 1973. Right? Yeah? And Mary was born in, yeah, 1954. Okay, yes, they are both 19, cool.

And then Mary tells Dean like, "Can I tell you something?" And like, she sort of like, squees or something, and she goes like, "He's gonna ask me to marry him. Tomorrow, I think." And she's so excited, and she says, like, “Oh, my dad's gonna explode!" - which he does [laughs] - "But I don't care! I'll run away if I have to."

G: "My dad's gonna scream, cry, moan, throw up, and die," and he literally does.

C: And stab himself. Yeah. And she says that she'll run away if she has to. God, she's so Sam-coded! And she says, "It's just that I love John, and..." And she sort of pauses and looks around, like she's not sure if she should say this next part out out loud, and Dean prompts her, and she says, “I want to get out. This job, this life. I hate it. I want a family. I want to be safe. You know the worst thing I can think of? The very worst thing? Is for my children to be raised into this like I was. No, I won't let it happen." And Dean blinks back tears and so do I.

G: Yeah, me, too.

C: Yeah. [laughs] And the last part is a little bit too much the writers going, "Hey, winkedy-wink," but it's still effective! It still works. And like, the whole safe thing, I think, is also reiterated by Sam, right, in his first episode? Doesn't he say something like "Not normal. Safe." like, about what he wanted from his life? Yeah. Agh. She wants to get out! This job, this life, she hates it! Ah.

And Dean goes like- he's crying a bit, and he goes, "Yeah." And Mary asks if he's okay, and he's like, "Yes." And then he says, like, “Can I tell you something? And can you promise me something, even if it sounds weird.” And like, he's so intense while saying this, and a single man tear is slipping down his face as he says, “On November 2nd, 1983, don't get out of bed, no matter what you hear or what you see.” And she says, “Okay.” And he leaves.

Her ass is not remembering. [laughs]

G: Her ass is not remembering. But this scene really got to me, I feel.

C: Yeah. I think he knows, also, that-

G: It's not gonna happen. It's wishful thinking.

C: Yeah. But like, he can't not have tried.

G: Yeah.

-

G: We're back on the road. Dean is driving, and Cas shows up next to him. And then he asks, like, "Why not bring Sam back?" and Cas is like, "You had to do this alone." And Dean asks, "You don't give a shit that, like, Sam is looking for me right now?" [laughing] And Cas just goes [C laughs], "Sam's not looking for you." And I was like, "That's so fucking funny."

C: God, that iss.

G: Go fucking tell him, Cas. Go fucking tell him. [laughs]

C: Okay, Dean's been here for like, over a day or whatever, right?

G: Yeah. It seems like it's the same night.

C: Yeah, it seems like when he comes back, it's at the exact same time, just like in Doctor Who. So there's no reason for Sam to be looking for him, anyway.

G: Yeah. But also, even if he was, he's not. [both laughing] Yeah. And then tries to confirm to Cas, like, "If I do this," meaning kill the demon, the family curse breaks, like, they get to live happily ever after, and Sam and I grow up a normal life. And then Cas points out that if you, Dean, if you alter the the past, you will alter the future, and you will never be hunter- you'll never be hunters, like, you and Sam, and all the people you saved, they'll die. Which we've talked about in the past.

C: Yeah, we did that in 2.20 already.

G: Yeah, that, like, the other hunters can like, deal with it, like, Sam and Dean are not the only hunters. But like, given this, like, let's pretend this is what's happening. Like, Dean is like, "Yeah, of course I realize that." And Cas asks, "You don't give a shit?" [both laughing] I mean, Cas says, "You don't care?" And Dean says, “I care plenty, but I cannot let my parents die. Like, I can't. Not if I can stop it."

C: And he can't. He can't stop it.

G: And then he looks over at Cas. Cas has disappeared. But I think this is a good insight on Dean, and that at the end of the day, he's just his parents' kids. No. He's just his parents' kid.

C: Yeah.

G: And no matter what, no matter how angry he has become at John for like, the whole like, "I didn't deserve what Dad put me through, I don't deserve to go to Hell," and no matter how distant Mary is in the past, like, the moment that there's an opportunity to have had a life with those people, he would choose it over and over again. And it's like, yeah.

C: It's also that the John that he is angry at was- I mean, was always part of John, but like, only became John's main facade after this happened. So like, he's like, "This is not even the same guy. I can't be angry at him the way that I was angry at my dad."

G: And it's also fascinating that he says, like, “Mom and Dad get to be happy, mumber one.And me and Sam get to be happy too." Like, this is like-

C: He goes, "Well, me and Sam get to be normal" is sort of what his thing is. Mom and Dad get to be happy, and me and Sam get to be normal. Fascinating.

[laughing] What did you say Cas said? "Who give a shit?" or "And you don't give a shit?"

G: What do you mean?

C: After Cas said, "You'll never become hunters and all the people you saved will die," [laughing] I literally paused my screen and said, "Who give a shit?" to Cas, and I continue-

G: Literally. Cas, listen to me. Cas. [C laughing] Nobody give a shit. Like, you need to know this.

C: Yeah. I just- the thing is, I feel like- I like Cas in this episode. He feels a little weaker in this episode than he has in the past two.

G: But that's because he's not around much.

C: I think it's also- Well, he's around even less in 4.02.

G: But like, he has a lot of lines there, lots of exposition, lots of opportunity to be a character.

C: Yeah, but I guess it's more that this thing about him saying that Dean should care about like, the people that he saved doesn't- it seems like the writers talking through him. It doesn't seem to align with what he said in the last episode about like, "We have bigger things to deal with." Dean was like, "People died because, like, you guys didn't get the witnesses under control," and Cas was just like, "We had other things to deal with." Like, I don't think he would be someone who cared that much about the people that Dean saved, at least at this point in time. Like, he doesn't seem to hold hunting to be like, this glorious institution of like, goodness the way that the show does. Like, he doesn't seem to distinguish between hunters and civilians, at least in 4.02. It's just like, "Oh, like, those are all bugs."

G: Yeah, that's interesting. Like, he-

C: So this part I thought was weird.

G: Yeah, I suppose. But like, I think it also is like, asking Dean, like, "Where do your priorities lie?" Like, I think that's a reasonable thing to ask someone. Yeah, especially because, you know, Dean is so adamant about the whole saving people last episode.

C: That's true. This could be a response to what Dean said last time. Like, "Oh, what about like, everything you said last week?" Okay, yeah. I like that reading. Ugh. Dean was so annoying last week. "People are dying down here. Why aren't you helping us?" Like, 20 people died of ghosts, like, tell the angels to- tell the angel to cure tuberculosis if you actually care.

G: Literally. Well, to be fair, I mean, this is my fucking like- I don't know. What do you call when you're talking about something? Like, soapbox? [laughs]

C: Yeah, this is your soapbox to stand on, right?

G: My soapbox is like, tuberculosis is cured. There is a cure for tuberculosis. [laughs]

C: Okay, it's more that- okay, by cure, I mean, like, make it more- distributed, etc etc.

G: Accessible, yeah yeah yeah, all that.

-

G: So Dean goes to Daniel Elkin's house. Who is, you know, the guy with the Colt. And he is in front of the safe, already having cracked it, already having the Colt in his hand. And the guy comes in, points the gun at him, and is like, "Drop that. I can't let you get that Colt," blah blah blah. But Dean is saying, "I just need it for a while. I'll return it to you. It's just my one chance to save my family. I need this gun." And he says, like, “If you want to stop me, you can kill me. It's fine. But like, I am gonna take the Colt.” And the guy doesn't shoot him, and I like that. I like this little character moment for the guy

C: Yeah. You know what I don't like? How no one in this episode has heard of holy water before? Like, how does he not know this is the demon taking away the one demon-killing weapon?

G: This one is weird. What the fuck does this mean? "There are some hunters in Lawrence. The Campbells." And then he goes, "Never heard of them," and then Dean goes, "That's where she'll be."

C: He's she/her-ing the gun. [G laughs] He's saying, "After I leave, like, you can go to the Campbells and they'll have the gun." [G laughing]

G: Okay. I was truly wondering, like, "Is he talking about Mary? Like, why is he bringing up Mary right now?"

C: No. He's she/her-ing the fucking gun.

G: She's literally a she/her. [C laughs]

-

C: So we cut to the Campbells, and, you know, Mary and Samuel are like, cleaning or assembling guns. Mary looks really cool. And she asked after Dean, and Samuel says, "He's gonna go kill a demon." And when Mary asks where, Samuel says, “Oh, he's heading to the Walsh's place,” and Mary goes, “Wait, Liddy Walsh? Like, Dad, that's my friend. Like, she is my friend. We have to go help her.” Which is nice. I like that Mary has friends.

G: Yeah.

C: But it is just for plot. Like, we don't even see her interact with Liddy at all. Like, they're in the same room, and they don't even talk. Like, Liddy isn't like, “Oh my god, Mary, like, are you okay?” when she gets thrown or any of that shit. So like, whatever, I guess.

G: Yeah. And like, I don't know. But thinking about the fact that Mary has contact outside of the family, even if the contact doesn't know that they're hunters is so interesting because Sam and Dean are so far removed from everyone around them that wasn't in the hunting community. So it's fascinating that there is this alternative hunting lifestyle where you're a hunter, you're a family of hunters, but your child still gets to live a semi-normal life.

C: Yeah.

G: So, I don't know. It could have been interesting to see them interact. Like, maybe even after. Like, it's fascinating that like, Samuel's the one to comfort her-

C: Yeah, Mary trying to explain hunting to Liddy or something. That would be nice.

She runs out to the car. Well, she says, “I'll be in the car,” which implies that there's only one car. So [laughing] when she drives back home after this, did she leave Samuel and Dean stranded with no car?

G: So real.

C: Yeah. After she heads out, we get the funniest joke ever! of Samuel going, "Oh, so she wants to hunt, and then she doesn't want to hunt. Is this some female time of month thing?" And then like, just to show like, "Oh, we're not misogynistic," they show like, Deanna, like, sighing, so it's like, "Look, no, it's just Samuel being stupid!"

G: Yeah.

C: Ugh, boring shit, who give a shit, whatever, I hate you

G: The thing about periods is when people who get periods make fun of like, periods and talk about how like, "Oh, when I get my period, like, I'm fucking crazy and insane balls to the wall," I'm like, "Haha, that's funny."

C: Yeah. [laughs]

G: But like, the moment someone who doesn't get a period does it, I'm like, "I literally will skin you alive."

C: [laughs] Yup. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And I mean, I guess, like, I get sort of the utility of this as like, a character-building moment for Samuel. Like, maybe it does matter that, like, Mary's dad is a little misogynistic, and even though she is being trained into hunting, like, her mom is still doing a housewife role, and most of the time she's on screen, she's like, cooking. But like, I also don't know if it's that deep. So whatever.

G: Like [laughs] this is so funny because you're- like, the way you're talking about it is like, "They're treating their female characters with misogyny. But also, maybe they intended and [C laughing] it's a reading into misogyny and it's criticizing misogyny," and I don't know at what point we're making excuses for this show, man. Like, I think we are, though. We are making excuses for this show.

C: Yeah.

G: "Here's my critique of misogyny where everyone every woman in the scene is treated with misogyny and the show doesn't acknowledge it with any meaningful way." [C laughs]

C: Yeah. Yeah.

-

C: So we're at the Welfare's house.

Is Liddy Walsh Asian, or is she-

G: Yes!

C: Yes?

G: I think so.

C: She looks kind of like she's Asian Yay! Another Asian woman. Big win

G: Big win. And she doesn't die.

C: Yes. And she's gonna be okay.

G: Hell yeah. She's literally gonna be okay.

C: Good for her.

G: Good for her. Although I suppose, like, a relative of hers is gonna die of cancer. So RIP.

C: That is true. Sorry, Liddy.

She's on the couch with a doctor, and he's like, "I'm sorry," like someone, presumably her dad, like, his cancer has metastasized, like, he's gonna die. And they're sitting way too close. And the doctor's like, "There's one way. A cure. But I'll need your help." And she's like, "Okay, yes, what do I have to do?" And he says, “Oh, just nothing. In 10 years I'm just gonna come to you and ask for something then, but it'll be nothing you'll miss.” Which is not- the deal with Mary is that he can enter her house in 10 years and be undisturbed, right? What is this version? I'm gonna come in and ask you politely if I can drip blood into your child's mouth? [G laughs]

G: I don't know.

C: Whatever. Yeah. And they're like, holding hands at this point and leaning in. It's weird. And then his eyes turn yellow and Liddy starts screaming. And at this, the door busts open, and Samuel comes in, and he starts shooting Azazel. But Azazel, you know, sends the gun flying across the room and pins Samuel against a wall. And he's about to like, I don't know, kill, do something with Samuel when Mary shows up behind him with a knife. And he sees her and immediately goes pervert mode for some reason. He's all like, "Where the hell have they been hiding you? I like you. You got a lot of spunk." or whatever because he wants to fill her with his spunk, etc., etc..

G: I quite like the line "Where the hell have they been hiding you?" Like, it implies a certain, like, Mary is still protected by her family in some way.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, they don't let her hunt like, big things that much. I think that's a character-building or at least a dynamic-building moment for the Campbells of like, even though Mary grew up in this environment, and they're pretty open about it with her, they're still protecting her in some way because this demon didn't did  know that she's here. Although, like, yeah, he is a fucking creep, and it's a whole thing.

C: Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, she slices him with the knife but he eventually, like, gets it out of her hands, and she is also pinned against a wall. And then Dean comes in with the Colt, and Azazel uses Mary as like, a human shield. He asks Dean, "Where did you get that gun?" And Dean and Mary do like, a fun little thing where like, Dean, like, gets the gun ready, and he makes like, a nod to Mary, and like, she uses that nod to mean like, "Okay, in this second, I'm gonna break out of this guy's arms so that you can shoot and kill him." But unfortunately, Azazel escapes by, you know, black smoke out of the mouth, blah blah blah thing.

G: Yeah. It's fascinating to me because this felt so anti-climactic, and for obvious reasons. It's not the climax of the episode. But I wonder how Dean felt. Like, it's over.

C: He sort of sighs. He goes like, "Damn" to himself.

G: No, but, you know, it must have sucked so bad.

C: Yeah, like, he thought this was like, his chance to send his family.

G: And now the chance is gone.

C: And now Azazel might never come back.

-

G: So now they're outside the house, and Dean and Mary are talking, and Mary is like, "He told me he liked me," and she's like, "What did he mean by that?" You know, it's- sorry, Mary. And Samuel comes out and he says that, you know, he comforted Liddy, Liddy's gonna be fine.

C: Okay, wait. How do we know Azazel didn't just kill Liddy? We have no clue. Samuel's already possessed. Liddy could be dead for all we know.

G: No, for real, though. Oh, that sucks

C: Sorry, Liddy.

G: Sorry, Liddy.

C: Congratulations on being Asian! [G laughs]

G: Yeah. And then, you know, Samuel talks to Dean, and he's trying to compliment Dean, but Dean is like, "I missed the shot, so I'm not gonna take your compliment."

C: As soon as Samuel complimented Dean - 'cause I didn't know for sure when Azazel took him over - but as soon as that compliment happened, I was like, "Oh, that's Azazel. That's a classic Azazel move."

G: Oh, yeah, you're right! Yeah.

C: Yeah. And it being about Dean missing the shot is also, like, what happened last time Azazel complimented Dean, right?

G: Yeah.

C: Dean's like, "No, like, I wasted a bullet."

G: Yeah. Anyway, Dean tells Samuel that they need to talk alone. So they do. And here, back in the Campbell house, Dean tells Samuel that if they don't kill the yellow-eyed demon right now, Mary will die. And there's a a bit of like, a pushback where Samuel's like, "What the fuck are you on?" And Dean reveals that Mary is his mom, blah blah blah, and he's his grandchild. And he tells his name, he tells his birthday, and he tells where- when Mary gets killed by the yellow-eyed demon.

C: Yup.

G: And yeah, we go to Mary and John, and Mary is super upset, and John hugs her, asks what's wrong, and Mary says, “You promised you’d take me away. Do it now."

C: Generic-ass shit.

G: Yeah. And, you know, they climb into the car. It's a whole thing.

C: What do you mean by that? Like, are they leaving town? G: I think so.

C: Does she not want to pack a bag?

G: I think they're gonna elope.

C: Or say goodbye to her mom? Okay, so like, they'll come back after they're married.

G: Yeah.

C: Briefly. Okay, sure.

G: We go back to Dean and Samuel, and Samuel is saying that, like, "Okay, I believe you, whatever." And Dean brings out John's journal and the list of like, all the places that fucking Azazel went after this one. And he brings out the Colt, and, you know, Samuel tries to get it. Dean is like, "No, I'm not gonna give it to you." And Dean is like, "No, it's nothing personal. I just don't give it to other people." And Samuel's like, "Yeah it is personal. Because you're trying to kill me."

C: Yeah, baby!

G: And his eyes- Samuel's eyes turn yellow, and then Dean is like, slammed against the wall with a chair or something.

C: So fun. Love it. Love a twist.

G: You're right that he has been possessed for a while, and he probably did kill Liddy. What a sad, sad affair.

C: Sorry, Liddy.

C: Oh, the him! You're right that at the journal thing. Oh, sorry! No! You go ahead first.

G: But also like, the whole journal thing. Is it implied that he is the one who gave-

C: - Azazel the information?

G: Yeah. Like, the reason why Azazel was able to go to all the people he went through because he had this list.

C: I think so.

G: That's so horrible!

C: Yeah, which is very interesting, though. Like, it's a total closed loop of information. Like, no one actually came up with the idea.

G: Yeah.

C: But you know what's funny about the closed loop of information is that I like to imagine that Dean was completely wrong about what he said about the Impala's like, specs and stuff, but John was just imitating what he heard Dean say, but, like, Dean, was just imitating what he heard John say.

G: Yeah, for real.

C: So, like, neither of them know anything about the car.

So, you know, Azazel's attacking Dean and shit, and he's like, "Oh, so you're from the future." And he reveals that he knows about angels because he says, like, “There's only one thing that can do time travel, so you must have friends in high places.” And he goes like, “Oh, so I killed your mommy, and that's why you came all this way? To see lil' old me.” God, he's so fun! And oh, also, now that he's revealed himself, you know, he's acting completely different.

G: Yeah, he's being a creep again.

C: I don't remember what the first Azazel well actor played him like, but I feel like this is a decent reiteration of his demeanor and voice and stuff. Like, it's fun.

G: At the very least-

C: Shit! I didn't hear this next line. I didn't know what he called Mary. He says, “If that slut Mary’s your mommy, are you one of my psychic kids?” He called her a slut?

G: And for what?

C: For what? [laughs]

G: He's so horrible.

C: Yeah. Whatever. People call people sluts for no- Sorry. People call women sluts for no fucking reason in Supernatural, though. Like, Dean calls Ruby a slut, even though she's like, not had sex yet, like, as far as they're aware on the show so far.

G: Yeah. Ruby's a virgin, truly.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Human!Meg calls, like, Meg's demon outfit as slutty, even though it's like, less skin than her human outfit. It's just a word that means fucking nothing on Supernatural.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. But he's, okay, he's actually very excited at the idea that Dean could be one of the [both] psychic kids. Actually, speaking of, remember when Dean is telling Samuel about like, the future, blah blah blah stuff, Samuel asks, "What? Are you like a psychic or something?" And there's like, a long pause on Dean's face before he goes, "No." And I was like, "That was weird," but like, that's probably just like, a callback to this. Or like, a foreshadowing to this, right?

G: Yeah.

C: Okay, fun. So he like, sniffs Dean.

G: It's such a good scene, though. Like, he literally leans in and just smells the fuck out of her, and like, he's able to smell there and then that like-

C: They're not true mates.

G: - he doesn't have demon blood. Oh, god! [C laughs] That he doesn't have demon blood. And it's a throwback for me to [overlapping] "Laz Rise" where the girl- what's her name? The waitress, the demon waitress says that “I can smell you from a mile away” or something at Sam. And like, we don't know yet, but he was drinking demon blood, right? At that point?

C: Yes.

G: And it's like, that demon blood is what they can smell, and that's so interesting!

C: That is fun.

G: He literally is full of demon blood, and they can smell him from a mile away!

C: Yeah. Yeah. So he goes, "Okay, so it's not you." And then he goes. "Maybe you got a sis." And he pauses, and he goes, "Or a bro. That's terrific." Azazel misogyny moments.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. But then he's like, "Okay, well, that's great, because like, that means that my plan's gonna work out in the future." And, you know, he reveals that he doesn't want people's souls from the deals. He just wants their kids. And he wants to choose the perfect parents. And he's choosing them because "They're strong, they're pure, and they eat their Wheaties, My own little master race. They're ideal breeders."

G: Wild.

C: So, I don't know. Clearly, like, just callbacks to eugenics and Nazi terminology, like, on purpose. I don't know if there's that much to discuss here. I think what I find most interesting is that the angels do the exact same thing.

At this point, we notice that Deanna is in like, the kitchen and can see them. and is noticing that something is up. Dean makes like, a face at the "ideal breeders" thing, and Azazel's like, "Oh, no, no one's breeding with me. Though Mary?"

G: God!

C: "Man, I'd like to make an exception." Ew! Why? Ew.

She's his "favorite," supposedly, which is maybe- he's very excited that Sam's the one who made it. Or he's sad when he thinks that Jake is the one who made it, and he's happy when Sam's the one who makes it. Like, is it because of this, like, obsession with Mary that he's developed?

G: Yeah, I think it is connected. I don't think- like, now that we see this, perhaps he wasn't lying when he said that Sam is his favorite.

C: Oh, true, true, because he did call everyone his favorite. But maybe he actually meant it with Sam.

Dean asks the question that everyone is fucking asking, which is, "Why did you make the deals? Can't you just fucking go into people's houses?" And Azazel says some dumbass handwavey thing about how he needs to be invited. Or maybe- is this related to the mythology of like, Azazel for real or something, do you think?

G: I don't know. 'Cause like, I don't think other demons are like, "I need to be invited in the house!" Right?

C: Yeah. But like, maybe in the Bible or some shit, or in like, certain Jewish commentaries-

G: Like, him specifically.

C: Yeah, maybe. If any of you know things about like, Azazel as he appears in Judaism, or in Christianity, I guess, like, hit us up, let us know.

G: Yeah.

C: And he goes, "You know what I'm gonna do to your sibling? I'm gonna stand over their crib and I'm gonna bleed into their mouth." They/them Sam rights.

G: Real.

C: Yeah. But he says, basically, “Demon blood makes you big and strong.” And Dean asks if the plan is for like, the demon army thing. and he says, “No, I have, like, a way bigger endgame. But I am not gonna tell you because you have a bunch of angels who are spying in on me via you.”

G: No, what is that endgame?

C: I think that- Okay, at first I thought it was like, a Lucifer's vessel thing. But I don't know if he knows that. I think it's just the bringing about of the Apocalypse via killing Lilith.

G: Yeah, perhaps.

C: Like, you know, "I'll give someone the power, and then, like, they'll have like, this giant demon army, and be so strong, and then they'll be able to use their brain and explode Lilith and kill her or whatever." Though, okay, actually, does the Colt not work on Lilith?

G: No, I think it does.

C: Okay, why- or the demon knife? Does that not work on Lilith?

G: I don't think it does.

C: Okay. But the Colt works.

G: The Colt works for sure for everyone.

C: So why did Sam need to drink all the blood to kill Lilith if he could have just shot her with a gun?

G: 'Cause they didn't have the Colt.

C: Oh, yeah, I forgot.

G: It's a whole thing. Whole plotline.

C: Could Dean not just like- okay, I guess it would have been bad if he took it back to his timeline because then they wouldn't have it in the past anymore, but yeah.

G: I mean, they do do that in like, I think, in like, Season 6. There's a plotline where it's like- I'm not sure if it's the Colt-

C: They take it from the past?

G: I'm not sure if it's the Colt. But there is a thing that they go back in the past for, and then they do this whole thing where they formulate it so the day in the present, the thing gets delivered to their house. It's fucking funny as fuck.

C: Oh.

G: Love that episode though. Yeah, they go back to the Wild West, like, cowboy shit.

C: Yeah.

G: Love Sam's outfit in that episode. I don't remember anything else. Yeah.

C: Dean does a stupid-ass thing where he reveals that he is going to be the one to kill Azazel. Like, don't tell him that. Like, okay, I personally believe that the way Supernatural time travel works is that you can't change anything that's already happened, it's a fixed point. But, like, Dean still believes that he can save people and that his actions in the past matter. What you have done right now is ensure that like, in the future, Azazel comes to you as a baby and murders you so you can't kill him.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. But it is weird that Azazel never mentions this conversation when he sees Dean in like, Season 1, you know? But I guess I didn't know this episode was gonna happen yet. I guess we can say maybe that's the reason he spent more time talking to Dean than to Sam in the end of Season 1 if we want to Watsonian this

Azazel doesn't believe him. But Dean's like, "No, for real. I'm definitely going to kill you. Definitely, definitely."

G: "I'm not lying at all! I'm not lying at all!"

C: "I prommy!" G: "I'm being fucking for real!" [C laughs] He said it like that. He said, [whiny] "I'm being fucking for real right now!" [C laughs]

C: Yeah. And he was crying.

G: Yeah.

C: But Azazel's like, "Okay. Well, you know someone you're not gonna save? Me!" Oh, also, at this point, Deanna has been getting closer and closer to getting the Colt on the ground, but at this point, Azazel stabs himself in the stomach, killing Samuel, killing his vessel, and Deanna screams, "No!" So she's revealed that she is there.

And then, I don't know. Fight scene, fight scene. Azazel kills Deanna by breaking her neck.

G: Yeah.

C: Dean grabs the Colt, but Samuel/Azazel is gone, and she is dead, and Dean yells, "Mary!"

-

G: Yeah. And we go to Mary who is with John in a fucking car, parked- [laughs] Like, I thought they were- I thought they were stranded in the river! Like, I literally thought-

C: In the water?

G: I thought- I thought like, 'cause they were so near the water, I was like, "Damn. They swerved off, and they got stuck by the river bed." [C laughs]

C: Real.

G: But no. Like, John, is like, "It's no secret that I brought you here," and then he brings out the ring. And Mary is like, "There's things you don't know about me, John." And he goes, "So? I will always love you for exactly who you are."

C: Yup!

G: And then the yellow-eyed demon shows up, and like, pulls Mary out, and then he's like- He's still pretending to be Samuel at this point, and he's mad, etc., etc. And John is like, "No, sir, listen to me!" And John, like, keeps on trying to stop Samuel, from his perspective, from like, hurting Mary, because Mary is saying, "You're hurting me!" as, you know, her dad grabs her. And then [both laughing] Azazel literally just goes up to John, snaps his neck, and he dies instantly. [C laughing]

C: God, it's so funny! It was so funny.

G: It is pretty funny. And he falls.

C: I want to live in Mary's head for the five seconds when she thought that her fucking dad did that.

G: Yeah. And then, like, Mary, just goes, "You killed him." [both laugh] And then Azazel goes, "Yeah, but not just him. Mommy and Daddy, too." And then he shows that, you know, Samuel is dead. Like, stabbed himself.

C: And also his eyes are yellow at this point.

G: Yeah yeah yeah.

The yellow-eyed demon starts sweet-talking Mary, and he says that “Oh, I'll bring John back if you grant me permission to swing by your house ten years from now.”

C: Mary asks-

G: For her parents, yeah.

C: - if he can bring her parents back too, and he says, “No, that's not on the table.” And then he says, like, “This is good, actually, that your parents will be dead and John will be alive because it means you can escape hunting forever, and you can live a normal life with no more monsters,” blah blah blah.

G: Yeah.

C: He says, “No more monsters or fear. I'll make sure of it.” which implies that he's also going to protect her from like, supernatural creatures in her future life.

G: Which I assume like, in the 10 years, perhaps he did.

C: Yeah, perhaps he did.

G: Yeah.

C: Ah. Fascinating.

G: And, you know, he says that like, as long as Mary or anyone doesn't interrupt him at his visit, nobody is gonna get hurt. And "It's either this or spend the rest of your life desperate and alone."

C: Like it's not possible to have more than one boyfriend in your life. [laughs]

G: I mean when you're 19, it feels like that.

C: Yeah. I guess. Or she has a very outdated idea about virginity, and she's like, "No, I'm damaged goods now! No one will want me!" [laughs] Who knows?

G: Yeah. Anyway, we go back to Dean's-

C: At this point, Mary's fucking crying, right? Like, yeah, she's [both] sobbing.

G: Yeah. She's distraught.

C: And it's interesting, because at first, like, when he kills John, and like, he tells her about her parents, like she's like, angry, and like, very tightly wound up, and she tells him like, "I'll kill you. I swear to god." But then, like, as he keeps talking, like, you can see that like, fall away, and eventually, like, she goes from single woman tear to just sobbing.

G: Yeah. And then we go back to Dean's perspective, and he shows up. Mary is already kissing Azazel.

C: Mm-hm. It's graphic! In her dad's body. It's graphic. There's like, tongue, and it lasts way too long.

G: Yeah. Yeah. And Dean has the Colt. But before he can shoot, like, Azazel gets out of the body. And then John comes back to life.

C: Yeah.

G: And John and Mary are cradling each other as Cas appears. He puts a hand on Dean's shoulder, and Dean turns around. This is one of those iconic ones.

C: Mm.

G: The turning. You know, like, how in AMVs, like, people would do that?

C: Yeah, they have this touch a lot. Is it because the hand is on- Do you remember which shoulder Cas put the hand on?

G: No, I don't think so.

C: Do you think it's the handprint shoulder?

G: No, I mean I remember where the hand is, and I don't think it's the handprint shoulder.

C: Aw, okay. Sad!

G: Yeah. But they do the looking back thing a lot in Supernatural with Dean and Cas. I love it! And yeah. They disappear.

C: They disappear from 1973. G: And I love how the lingering shot is done because Dean disappears, right? But the camera doesn't disappear with him. We stay a bit on John and Mary and Samuel. And I quite like that, because, like, yeah, the story has ended from Dean's perspective, but these people, John and Mary specifically, still need to live through this. There's a sense of that.

C: Yeah. Also, just every shot of this last scene is like, iconic. Like, the scene of like- 'cause like, it's dark, and everything is just lit by the headlights of the car that Dean stole. So like, Azazel turning around, like, with his yellow eyes, and, like, Mary turning around and looking like a deer in the headlights, sort of, like, so scared and sad and stuff is like, it's good. The shots are good. They're iconic. They're very screenshotable.

-

C: So we get to the last scene. Dean gasps awake in the motel, and it's presumably like, the same day or whatever. And Cas is- Is he still sitting on the bed?

G: No, he's not.

C: Okay, he's standing near the bed. And Dean's upset. He says, “I couldn't stop any of it, and she still made the deal, and I bet like, right now, she still died in that nursery. So even my 'don't leave your room' thing didn't do anything.” And Cas says, "Don't be too hard on yourself. You couldn't have stopped it." And Dean like, stands up and goes, "What?" [G makes sad sound] Yeah. Sorry, dude. I just- I can't believe the whole time he thought he could do something. Like, up until the deal. He still thought he could do something. I guess he didn't live through "Mystery Spot." If Sam had been along, he would have been like, "I know exactly what this is. Let's just go somewhere else. We can't do anything about this." [laughs]

Okay, so what Cas says to Dean is "Destiny can't be changed, Dean. All roads lead to the same destination." And Dean asks, "Why did you send me back, then?" And Cas says, "It's for the truth. Now you know everything that we know about what Azazel did to your brother." This could have been an email. [both laugh] That's my thoughts. This is not a good explanation of why they sent Dean back. This could have been an email.

So Dean notices that that that Sam's bed is empty, and he goes like, "Where the fuck is Sam? Where the fuck is Sam?" And gives him an address, and Dean's about to head out, and Cas says, “Your brother is headed down a dangerous road, Dean, and we're not sure where it leads. So stop it. Or we will.”

G: I love that. Also, I love the shot where like, Dean goes, "What the hell are you talking about?" And instead of answering, Cas like, looks over at the bed, and the camera follows his sight.

C: Mm.

G: I just think it's so cool. Like, I think that's such a cool choice that like, communication for Cas is so un-straightforward. I mean, it's straightforward, like, but he's not- he's gonna tell you what he needs to tell you, but he's not gonna answer your questions. He asks after, "Where's Sam?" And before he answers the location, he says first, like, he communicates first what he wants to say. Like, it makes it feel like even if Dean is the one asking questions, Cas is the one in control of the conversation, and that is such an interesting and fun choice to make. Love that, truly.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. He's so good. And you're right, he's less of a character this episode, but still fun.

C: Yeah.

G: He was there. He looked good. [laughs] That's all that matters.

C: He served cunt.

G: He lived, served cunt, died 15 years later. Well, not 15. Just-

C: A lot of times. He dies at the end of Season 4, doesn't he?

G: Yeah. Dies a year later, 2 years later. I don't know, like, 4 years later? He dies so much. That's insane.

C: Yeah.

-

C: So, Grey, what are your thoughts on this episode?

G: Okay. So, I don't know. It was fine. When I was watching it, there were times where I got a little bit bored. But it's not too offensively boring, and I like the backstory. I like young Mary. I wish there was more John and Mary content that's more meaningful than what they served us. But I find meaning in the meaninglessness of it as well.

C: Yeah, yeah. Right, like, every time you were like, "They are saying the most generic things. And I'm reading that as like, them being young and not really understanding love," I was like, "I think Jeremy Carver might just be bad at writing romance." [both laugh]

G: No, literally, though. Literally, though.

C: But I do like, finding meeting in the meaninglessness. Yeah.

G: Yeah.

C: What I thought... This is a very important episode lore-wise. I like all the things we learned. And I liked young Mary a lot. I think you're right that there are moments when this episode is boring. Like, the concept is great, but like, I feel like as an email, [laughing] it would be about as good as it is as an episode. As long as the email included some screenshots of the nicer-looking shots and Mary's big big eyes. There's just so much- like, they never tell us how Mary explains the way them waking up like, with Samuel dead next to them. Like, I guess John probably remembers him like, snapping his neck. Is Mary fucking like, "I killed him to save you?" Like, how does she explain this away? We'll never know. And that's sad.

G: "We got attacked, and my dad-" I mean, I really don't know. Maybe, like, there's like, a memory wipe.

C: Maybe. That happens with the angels in "The Song Remains the Same." But I don't think what happens here unless the Azazel- yeah, okay, that's true. Azazel could have memory wiped it. But they are still waking up next to the corpse of her dad, and they are also going home, to her house where her mother lies dead on the kitchen floor. Like, I don't see how they're going to deal with that.

And I guess I wish that either the ending was more ambiguous so I wouldn't be so stuck on this like plot point or that we just saw how it was explained a bit more. Or that we saw how this particular thing affected John and Mary's relationship. Because it's like, this is the man that like, she has made a demon deal for, and like, for whom- Like, he said that her parents were never an option, but I feel like it does have to feel a little bit like she chose John over her parents. And like, that's interesting. Like, is there resentment there? What does that do to their relationship. I guess we'll never know.

G: Yeah. And like, I don't know.

C: She doesn't even like him that much, I think. Like, she thinks she does. But I don't think she actually does. And like, she can never break up with him now. Like, you know?

G: Yeah, that's true. You're stuck there. Once you sell- once you make a deal with a demon, you're stuck with the relationship for life.

C: Yeah, this is so House M.D. the lesbian couple that were about to break up, and then one of them gives the other one her kidney so that they can't.

G: No, for real, though.

C: Yeah.

-

G: Okay. So, Best Line/Worst Line. Shit!

C: Oh, well, best line is obvious, right? It's the thing where Mary says that she wants to get out and that she hates this life and she wants to be safe and have a family. And the worst thing possible is imagining her kids growing up like this.

G: Yeah, I suppose. I'll go with that. I'm not even gonna try [C laughs] to like, say something else. But I think my worst line is the period line. Like, just shut the fuck up.

C: Yeah. That was my worst line until I found out that he said "slut Mary," and now that is my worst line. [laughs] Spreadsheet.

G: How about spreadsheets? There wasn't any racism or homophobia I feel.

C: Yeah, not that I can recall.

G: Which is a win. Because, like, no racism is usually only reserved when there's no people of color. [laughs] But there's one!

C: Yeah! Liddy said like, a whole sentence! Good for her.

G: Yeah, and they didn't do a racism against her. I admire that, deeply.

C: Yeah. They just probably killed her off screen, which is like, normal Supernatural fare.

G: Yeah. I think for sexism, misogyny-

C: I'd give a 1, maybe?

G: Why 1? I think a 2.

C: Okay, a 2. Because of the slut Mary and the period line?

G: Slut Mary, period line, and also Deanna being such a-

C: Yeah, Deanna being such a housewife and also just the weird incest kiss, yeah.

G: I don't think, like, Deanna being a housewife is a bad thing. It's just that, like, especially given that this is like, a period piece in a way- I don't fucking know. But like, you have to think of it in like a- This is already an unconventional family, you know?

C: Right, yeah.

G: I think it's- Actually, maybe I'm retracting it. Like, I don't- Actually, I'm less offended by what her role is and more of "they just didn't give her anything."

C: Yeah.

G: Like, I understand that Samuel comes back. He becomes a future character. But they did not know that here. So why is it that the father in the hunting family, who is a hunter, gets so much of the screen time than the woman- the mother of the family, who is also a hunter. Like, she's also a hunter. And we've seen other hunter couples before. Like-

C: Right, like Tamara and Isaac, and they're very like, equally-matched.

G: Yeah, they're of equal footing, and this one feels like not that. And like, I understand that, you know, it's complicated, blah blah blah blah blah. But with Supernatural, like I said earlier, like misogyny in Supernatural is- like, the misogyny being a critic to the misogyny is like, I feel like it's giving it too much of a benefit of the doubt-type situation.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah.

C: I agree with that statement.

G: Also, it would have just been cool to for Deal to know his namesake.

C: Yeah, that's a good point.

G: He literally was named after her.

C: Also, just, in general, [laughs] don't people care about their grandmothers more than their grandfathers most of the time?

G: No, for real, though. No, for real.

C: Yeah.

G: Do you think that's like a- because we both grew up girls, and we both grew up in like, Asian households.

C: That's true. Maybe it's not universal everyone likes their grandmother better.

G: Yeah, so.

C: Good point. I don't know.

G: Oh, shit. I accidentally clicked the IMDb page, but I didn't- it didn't load. I was able to click away before it loaded.

C: Okay, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.

G: But okay, let's go on IMDb. What's your ranking? rating?

C: I mean, I think time travels cool. I feel like, people would think time travel's cool. So-

G: I feel like I think people would think time travel's cool, but like, it's one of those situations where you'd make a little mistake, and it's like, "Oh, they're doing time travel exactly like this one movie, and it's not cool that they're ripping this movie off!"

C: That's true, that's true. They do get quite mad about that.

G: Yeah. Or it's a matter of "It's time travel, and all the fallacies," blah blah blah. So I think it's cool, but like, people get up in arms about it a lot.

C: Okay. Well, hm. "Are You There God?" got an 8.5. I think this is gonna get higher than that. So I'm gonna guess an 8.7?

G: I'm gonna guess an 8.4, actually. I'm going the other direction.

C: Okay.

G: Okay, let's check. Holy shit! It's a 9.2.

C: Oh, damn. Okay.

G: Let's see what the people have been saying. "One of the better episodes." I mean, I guess.

C: Well, there's a lot of Supernatural episodes. Yes, this is in the top 50%. I agree with that.

G: Yeah, this one says, “This is one of my most disliked episodes. It doesn't fit within the show. Time travel elements poorly thought out and feels much more sci-fi than horror fantasy."

C: Hm.

G: "It is pretty obvious that the writers eventually realize their mistake as two future episodes are devoted to retconning and smoothing out the plot holes this episode introduced." "Story changes for the worst. I don't get how this episode is so highly related. The guy they picked as John Winchester was a total miscast. Aside from being a pretty boy, [laughs] he was a big wuss." [C laughs]

C: Well, wait, okay. But John was like, a big wuss before Mary died. Isn't that the point of John?

G: No, they said [dramatically] "John was manly, tough, and strong before Mary died."

C: Oh my god. No he fucking wasn't.

G: "I thought this story was better before making Mary the hunter."

C: Oh my god.

G: "As a woman, I love strong, empowered female characters like Jody and Donna. But the writers got John all wrong. [C laughing] They didn't have to make John weak and clueless." This is so funny!

C: "A strong woman would never respect a weak guy. That alone I have to knock 7 stars off the rating." This is hilarious. From 2020! From October 2020! This isn't from 2008. This is from 3 years ago.

G: This person does not understand the appeal of men who are just little guys [C laughs], who are poor little guys. Just little, little weak little guys.

C: God. This fucking sucks! Okay.

G: I mean, that's pretty much it. That's so funny. Like, when we go read reviews, we just read the ones that are negative and then like, go, "Yeah, it's fine, we're good." [C laughs] But literally, though. Like, if they're just gonna compliment Supernatural, I don't need to hear it. [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. And do you agree that, like, Mary being-

C: It's been three hours??

G: Yeah, we've been recording for so fucking long.

C: Okay, yeah. So what were you gonna say? [laughs]

G: Do you agree that Mary, being, you know, blah blah blah.

C: Mary being the hunter makes the story a hundred times better.

G: No, yeah for real, though.

C: The story would fucking suck if Mary wasn't the hunter.

G: Like, she comes back.

C: Yeah.

G: I feel like people ignore that. She comes back, and that story is compelling because she was a hunter.

C: Yeah.

G: So yeah, that's my hot take.

So I think that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 4, Episode 4: "Metamorphosis." Are we? Are we discussing-

C: Yeah.

G: Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast and on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, and check out our merch at babp`od.redbubble.com.

G: Yeah! ou can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

-

[beep]

C: I did not know he was baby- was in "Baby" until today, so-

G: He was also baby. [C laughs] No, he was in "Baby," he like- ah, I don't know. I don't know if I should get into it here. Maybe I'll put this at the end of the episode-

C: We'll find out in like, 5 years-

G: No no no. No, I wanna tell you. I will edit this at the end of the episode. But in "Baby," Sam is having vi- you know how Season 11, like, they let Lucifer out? And there's a whole deal where Sam thinks God is speaking to him and he starts praying a lot, etc. etc., but turns out it's Lucifer?

C: Yeah.

G: In that episode, John shows up to him in a dream driving the Impala, and like, is trying to talk to him a la John Winchester, and Sam just clocks that it's not John. And "John" in quotation marks just goes like, "Yeah, I could never trick you." And Sam thinks this is a God vision. And it turns out it's Lucifer. God! Whatever the fuck they put in Season 11, I'm so looking forward to it. Like, Season 11 is so good to me.

C: Eileen's in it.

G: Eileen's in it, and also, it's so devastating. Like, it's such a sad, sad season. Like, Cas spends half the season possessed by Lucifer! It was devastating to me personally. [C laughs] It was so devastating to me. And also, like, the season ends, and like, Mary comes back- it's wild. It's a wild season.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. Anyway.

[sunlightsshadow]

Heal What Has Been Hurt Liveblog

hello and welcome to the first of 5 initial (but probably not Only) posts recounting my liveblogging of Heal What Has Been Hurt by @sunlitmcgee

ch1: and the universe said "I Love You"

c! tech did one (1) good thing and it was burning the egg

gogy mention/pos

its only ch1 and they've already gone DadMode. hasnt even even , talked to the boy yet/lh

XD :D

ch2:Flower Gleam and Glow

"weirdo mother hen guardian angel nanny thing." hehehe

moths moths moths moths moths

Clara :D

ch3: I've Been Ghosting Your Dreams

i wonder how tommy feels about warm rain

my browser crashed god dad is too powerful/j

ghostbur :DDD

oh i have so many feelings about ghobur

ch4:Come, My Child

not lots of thoughts just enjoying the domesticity of the bois

did enjoy the star freckles tho

ch5:Like A Busy Bee Taking Flight

"large purple man" thanos/neg

compass compass compass compass (im wearing my Your Tommy compass my bf bought me <3)

heheh dad said pogchamp

ch6:Flying Like a Bee, Black and Yellow Energy

hehe derivikat lyrics

xd dad god. why is that form even still in your rotation/lh

ranboo/pos. i love all Ranboos

hehehe time to sin!

c! techno/neg

xd having several children who are gods and can take care of themselves and having to focus your attention on the whole of creation is different than abandoning your litteral tiny children to go adventuring w a gladiator who hears voices

xd you could have shifted forms dont yell at them/lh

ch7:Cold. Why You Gotta Treat Me So Cold?

weird schlatt tubbo/neg nightmare tubbo/neg

GOD I hate exile

I am so emotional over them GODS

I need someone to be proud of me like xd is proud of tommy

I want a god dad. the yearning is strong

ch8: sweet like honey

any time someone writes tommy saying the phrase "ill be good" istg i feel my heart break

back sore, clue #1

micha 🥺

ch9: I Think You're All Insane

_beloved family/pos

PUFFY!!

every time i manage to forget the captain is dreams mom someone reminds me :/(/hj/nm/lh)

no more memory broke :D

am i using that emoji to much? i do not care<3

god enderman lore/pos

ch10: Deep In The Meadow

i also feel Okay. this is a good place to be

there is something so personal about tommy wanting to end the cycle of abuse and worrying he'll end up like the people who hurt him

good people have intrusive thoughts tommy:(

ch11:Here it's Safe, and Here it's Warm

hehehehe Wings also toms XD would never leave you :(

"you'll instinctively know" its not instincts if it hurts Philza

god i fucking love the personification of instincts. so much. its such a cool thing

ch12:Why, Tell Me, Father?

tommy has a perfect comfy bed and doesnt wanna move. mood

tommy is starting to heal and i love that for him/gen

how DID xd figure that out?

ive just decided just now while rereading that xd was too nice to phil

"you're still here" im gonna SOB

heal! emerald duo/neg

I wanna hug tommy :(

ch13:It's a Promise for Life Between Father and Child

what if i just [takes a white out pen to tommys trauma] look now hes just a lil guy! (someone do this to me)

[beats the doomsday bitches over the head with a stick] i will actually never be normal abt c!tommy

mmmm i should play omori

tinyboo. itty bitty

i dont wana read the interaction w technoooo [reads it anyways] its important

Ghobur! he back!

i think more people should let ghostbur get angry

ch14:How Would You Know?

idk how phil cant sense the Pissed Off aura xd must be giving off rn

in which xd is my spirit animal

:D(malicious)-XD

i like his hat :(

somebody please do this w my dad

ch15: Remember to be Patient

i am obsessed w instinct stuff. lil baby birb go peep peep

i was so lost in the euphoria of birb i forgot to have thoughts

ch16:Fold Up Your Wings, Close Your Eyes

WING TIME WING TIME WING TIME

"it's beautiful… except of course for the unholy screams"

xd " claws" and " adorable" are not generally words that go together

he is SAD the baby is SAD :(

what would xd do if tommy turned into an actual baby?

"its me?" AWWWW🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

hes a baby

i will kill any god for him

baby boy

precious

oh boo even *mentions* agere how did I miss that the first time? tommy is simply baby

ch17: See the Sunset

cant see glass<3

i want a cool space blanket (I have a non-binary flag space blanket tho :3)

I also like when things make click clack noises… am i birb?

I love hiiiiimmmmm

ch18:Nothing Could Tear Us Apart

they can both be clingy it's okay

i almost forgot to open my document when I started reading again

[wilbur voice] quackityyyyy

hes not even actually here but I'm lobe himb

hehehe lovey dovey qpps/pos

i adore my qpps and my bf

GOD i am not NORMAL about platonic soulmate clingyduo there is nothing normal abt my mind state towards them!

"You were worth more than L'manburg ever was…" grrrrrr growl hiss its so GOOD

more baby birb🥺

ch19:Come out and Play

is he a demigod now?

bird time again!

i love instinct shit have i mentioned that?/hj

baby baby boy/pos

i was reading this the first time and I was just like. hes so small

i fuckin love my comfort chara using my coping mechanisms

And with that it's back to reading<3

[sentientstump]

its 4 am and i wanted to share this thought as quick as possible

these party-cipants are being charged for trespassing, for stealing, for fleeing, for not inviting as well etc etc

[cryonme]

𝐈 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐈𝐕

PART FOUR- “I Can’t Stop Thinking About The Way You Held Me That Night After The Boneyard And I Think I Need You To Do It Again.”

part one here

part two here

part three here

short series-- jj maybank x kook!reader

word count- 4.2k

tw- scratching, panic, description of bruises and cuts, big ol mental breakdown, swearing, self deprecation, fluff if you fuckin squint harder than you ever have in your life, mentions of blood, hints at sexual assault, mentions of wanting to throw up probably more please tell me if I missed something :( typos guaranteed

a/n- thank you for being so patient for this part! it was a busy couple days for Roxie!! again, the reader talks a lot of self deprecation, and I want to make it clear, I do not agree with her views on herself. please remember that I don't think of victims that way, I just wanted to write accurately. love you all so much!

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

You were basically a shell of a human being for the next week.

Your dad and Christine had told Shoupe that it was no surprise to them that Tyler had done this, and explained that they had kicked him out of the house and why. Tyler was apparently “nowhere to be found”, very convenient, considering the police were looking for him.

All you wanted was to go see your friends, you wanted to tell them everything. You wanted to apologize for the way you treated them and thank them for saving you.

But your dad and Christine had you practically locked up in your room.

You were afraid to even ask to leave, knowing they would get upset again. You avoided bringing up the situation at all, not wanting to see the sad looks on their faces.

So, you waited. You waited a week to see your friends just so you wouldn’t have to go through the awkward sadness.

“Dad?” You asked softly as you walked into his office, hands shoved in the back pockets of your blue jean shorts. He was writing at his desk, his fingers flying across the keyboard. He started working from home when he got the call from Christine about what had happened. You hadn’t told either of them what you know yet, you needed to know more before telling someone as powerful as your father.

“Hey, honey.” He turned in his chair and smiled, taking his glasses off, giving you a warm smile.

You and your dad had a good relationship. You weren’t best friends, you didn’t tell him everything, you didn’t hang out often. But, he loved you with everything he had, and would do, and has done, just about anything for you.

“Hey,” You started, fidgeting with your hands and the rings on your fingers. “I uh- I was wondering if- Everyone’s going to John B’s today and I really miss my friends and Pope and JJ and John B will all be there so they can protect me if anything happens and-”

“(Y/n),” Your dad started but you kept rambling.

“And I just think it’s really important for me to get out of the house especially-”

“You can go.”

“Because of what happened here and I just- wait, I can?”

Your dad nodded, standing up and placing his hand on your shoulders, looking straight into your eyes with his (y/c/e) eyes, sullen and misty.

“I agree, I think you should go.”

You smiled and wrapped your arms around your dad, squeezing extra tight. He let out a watery laugh and kissed your head.

“I’m really sorry kiddo. I can’t believe I wasn’t-” He stopped for a moment and let out a deep sigh, “I just can’t believe I let it go on for so long.” You frowned and just hugged your dad tighter. “You didn’t let anything go on, it’s my fault.”

Your dad's lip quivered and he rested his chin on your head, “It’s no one’s fault but his, let’s say that.

You nodded in agreement, “Let’s.”

After a couple more apologies and just a few more tears, you and your dad pulled away and you made your way back to your room, after stopping by Christine’s room to tell her you were leaving and promising 50 times to be so safe, and sent a text to Sarah.

*Can I hitch a ride to JB’s?*

It took about 15 seconds for her to reply.

OH THANK GOD

YES WTF

You smiled at your phone and shook your head, almost giddy with excitement to see your best friends. You knew Sarah was probably gonna pick you up in less than a couple minutes, so you stuck with the outfit you had on already, opting against a swimsuit. Your cuts and bruises had healed and faded immensely, but they were still there, and you’d rather skip the pity glances and sad looks. Your hands were still wrapped in compression wrap from the force of Tyler’s kick, along with your left knee and rib cage, your neck covered in red, ugly scratches from your panic attacks, and you had to be very careful with your movements so you wouldn’t worsen your concussion. You were already in a lot of pain, and having to deal with your emotional pain today would just be too much. You knew they came from a good place, and they were just concerned, but that’s not what you were there for today, you had a lot more problems in your future than just a couple injuries.

Once Sarah had texted you that she was waiting outside, you made your way downstairs, bidding your parents one last goodbye before walking out the front door and giving your best friend a wave as you made your way to her passenger seat.

“I’m not gonna hug you because I’m afraid I’ll squeeze you too tight and I know you’re injured.”

You giggled and leaned over the center console, giving her a quick kiss on top of her head and a big smile. “I would offer you my hand to squeeze but unfortunately my hands did not make it out unscathed.”

Sarah just nodded, taking in your appearance for a moment before clearing her throat and starting her car, blinking hard a couple times as she made her way out of your neighborhood.

“I didn’t tell anyone you’re coming, they’ll be so excited.” She forced a smile to her face and you returned it.

You knew she was having a really hard time having you in her car, forced to look at you and remember the day they found you nearly unconscious with Tyler’s hand around your throat.

You probably looked disgusting.

You pulled down the mirror to examine your face, your eye was still swollen and discolored, your lip as well. You had a yellowing bruise on your right cheekbone and a healing cut on your eyebrow right above it.

A sight to see.

“(Y/n/n)...”

“Please don’t, S.” You said softly, flipping the mirror back up in its place and turning to your blonde haired friend, giving her a weak smile. “Just making sure they’re healing okay. Forgot to check before we left.”

Sarah just nodded, not looking convinced by your untrue words.

+

The sound of Sarah’s tires rolling over the dirt road made your stomach flip, you weren’t ready yet. You didn’t want to see John B’s sad eyes, or Kiara’s quivering lip, or Pope’s lingering eyes on your bandages.

You didn’t wanna see JJ’s face, you’d turn to putty if you saw even an ounce of hurt in those pretty blue eyes.

You took a deep breath when Sarah finally rolled up to the Chateau, trying to calm your shaking hands, using one to steady the other, but it was no use since they were both unsteady. You mustered up all of your courage and confidence and opened the car door, immediately spotting your friends on John B’s wrap around porch, drinking beers and laughing.

They don’t miss you. You had told yourself, stopping in your tracks and raking your hands through your hair, suddenly wanting to cry. Look how much fun they’re having without you.

What you hadn’t seen was the pogues sitting in silence only moments before, sullen looks on their faces as they forced light conversation and jokes, before one finally made them laugh, bringing peace to the friends for just a moment.

“Hey,” Sarah stood in front of you, hands on your cheeks. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t have to. Her eyes looking into yours with nothing but love and compassion was enough. “Come on.” She nodded encouragingly and grabbed your hand, pulling you behind her as she approached the screen door.

You wanted to throw up.

The door cracked open, it’s rusty hinges making a high pitched squeaking noise.

And there it was.

John B’s sad eyes.

Kiara’s quivering lip.

Pope’s eyes glued to your bandages.

You didn’t look at JJ.

“Fuck.” Kiara breathed out as she quickly stood up from her spot to hug you, but quickly stopped herself as she got closer and could see the damage more clearly. She stared at you a moment with teary eyes, not sure what to do.

“Just hug me, weirdo.” You said, grabbing her arm and pulling her in for a light hug.

“God, I just wanna squeeze you.” She muttered, her mouth pressed against your shoulder.

“Please don’t.” You said, only half joking.

You both giggled and pulled away, you gave her a small smile before squeezing her shoulders.

“Love you, Kie.”

“I love you way more, how are you doing?”

You just shook your head, “I’d rather not get into that, if that’s okay.”

Kie just nodded. She should’ve known better with you, of course you weren’t gonna answer that question.

“At least you’re not lying.” John B said, pulling you into a light hug much like the one you had with Kie moments before, his arms around your shoulders while your cheek rested on his chest, his chin on top of your head.

“Love you, bub. Glad you’re okay.” He said into your hair before leaving a slight kiss, pulling away to put his hand in Sarah’s, his gaze lingering on your broken down figure.

Pope just kept looking at you, obviously freaked out.

“Hey, Heyward.” You put your hand under his chin, bringing his eyes up to yours. You smiled at the boy and nodded, “I’m okay.”

Pope reached one hand up to grab yours, hot holding it too tight, but just enough to tell you how much he loves you. “I’m happy you’re here.”

JJ watched as you had a heartfelt moment with each of your friends, but wouldn’t spare a single glance in his direction. She had whispered his name in pain just a week ago, wanting him by her side, and now she won’t look at him.

She realized what a piece of shit you are.

The pogues sensed the tension, all of them standing up and heading inside the house to give you two a moment alone. You wanted to beg them to stay, or follow them inside even. Grab a bag of chips and flop yourself onto the couch with your head in Pope’s lap, giggling at John B and Sarah’s lovers quarrel in the kitchen.

But you had to face this head on, you had to face JJ head on. It was time.

“Why won’t you look at me?” JJ asked, trying to mask his anger, it wasn’t working.

“I-”

“After all this, I thought we were past the hatred, (Y/n).” He was trying to keep his cool, but he couldn’t. Keeping his cool was never one of his strong suits.

“JJ-”

“I’m not doing this anymore with you. You can-”

You cut him off. If he said one more angry word at you you wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“JJ, I know you hate me and I know I’m a bitch and I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you. But, god, I can’t stop thinking about the way you held me that night after the boneyard and I think I need you to do it again.” Your voice shook as you finally whipped your head to look at him, wincing at the sharp pain that shot through your head from the sudden movement.

There was that hurt in his eyes, plain as day. His hair was disheveled and his eyes looked heavy and sad, dark circles hanging underneath them. He looked so beautiful.

JJ was wordless as he strode towards you, his arms out as he finally held you lightly in his arms.

“I need you to hold me tighter, Jayje, please.” “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“*Please.”

The blond responded by just holding you tighter against him, one hand around your waist and the other supporting the back of your head. You let out a choked sob at the feeling of him around you, this is all you ever wanted, all you ever needed. It was like air was finally rushing through your lungs.

“I’m sorry I was angry, I’m so sorry.”

You just shook your head, unable to speak words as you continued to cry, wordlessly telling him not to apologize, just pulling him impossibly closer.

JJ stumbled a little as you pulled him, “Okay, okay. Let’s sit down.” He said softly, leading you to the outside couch, careful not to loosen his grip on your frame. JJ sat down in the corner and pulled you with him, situating your body between his legs, your arms wrapped around his neck as your head fell to rest in the crook of his neck. JJ’s hand that wasn’t on your waist came to rest on your cheek, his thumb slowly stroking your cheekbone back and forth.

“I’m so scared.” Your voice squeaked through your sobs and hiccups and JJ’s heart shattered, scattering broken pieces at his feet.

“M’not gonna leave you. Promise.”

You didn’t respond as you held up your pinky, signalling for him to hook his around yours, and he did, leaving a sweet kiss on your fingers, then returning his hand to it’s spot on your cheek, holding onto you for dear life. He wanted to find Tyler and kill him himself, even if only for the way you were shaking in his arms, it scared him. He had never seen you this broken before, he didn’t think anybody had, not including Sarah or Kie, but even then the amount was few.

He didn’t want to shush you or tell you everything was okay, because it wasn’t, really. Your abusive step brother was nowhere to be found and he had nearly killed you. It wasn’t okay. So, he let you cry and he held you, letting out an involuntary whine every time your body would tremor and whispering sweet things in your ear, until eventually you fell asleep in his arms, your breathing finally normal.

John B came out the front door when he heard your crying stop, Pope trailing close behind him, and the two leaned on the railing across from JJ.

“I wanna kill him.” JJ said, not looking up from his gaze on you. “Look at her.”

JJ was holding back his own tears now, forcing out a couple coughs to try and cover up his cracking voice. “The way she just broke down, I- I’ve never seen her like this before, guys. She usually has something funny to say, a joke to pull even in the toughest situations but she’s so scared and sad. Fuck, I never want to see her like this again.”

John B and Pope were silent as JJ talked, just listening to their distraught friend.

“I’m not leaving her. Not ‘til that son of a bitch is dead or behind bars for the rest of his life.”

Pope nodded, “I think that’s smart, actually.”

The boys were interrupted when Sarah brought out your bag, holding it out to JJ.

“She needs to change her bandages, they look a mess.”

JJ grabbed the bag and placed it on the ground next him, then turned to you and gently shook you awake, stroking your hair and whispering softly.

“Hey, pretty girl, Gotta get up and change your bandages, okay? They’re all twisted.”

You nodded and stood up, immediately whimpering from losing the extra compression around your ribs and the pain in your head. JJ shot up, fawning over you, offering to carry you to the bathroom. You just shook your head and made your way inside, keeping your eyes on your feet so you wouldn’t make eye contact with Pope or John B.

You made it to the bathroom before JJ did, so you sat on the counter and waited, he must’ve been talking to the boys outside.

“You should’ve said something sooner, Sarah. This could’ve been avoided.” You heard Kie’s voice through the door.

“What? Do you know how mad she would be if I did? She’d never talk to me again.” “At least she’d be safe.” Kie spat.

“Look, I- I didn’t know that was gonna happen, okay-”

“Obviously.” Kie muttered.

“You don’t think I’ve been beating myself up about it all week?”

“You should be beating your-”

“Kie, lay off.” John B’s voice interrupted, followed by the slamming of a bedroom door, and silence.

You frowned at the conversation. This was no one’s fault, no one but Tyler. He’s the scum who did this to you, there was no one else to blame. Kie was angry and looking for someone to pin it on who wasn’t conveniently missing, but it wasn’t fair to Sarah.

JJ entered the room not a moment later, holding your bag with fresh compression wraps and bandages, a nervous smile plastered on his face.

“Let me see.” He said, setting down the bag on the counter next to you.

You had a hesitant look on your face, you knew he meant for you to take off your shirt, and you didn’t want to. After everything-

“I’m not gonna hurt you.” He whispered so softly you almost didn’t hear him. “I just wanna help you, okay? I need to see them so I can help you, baby.”

You nodded and he mirrored the action, slowly bringing his arms forward to pull your shirt over your head, leaving you in just a bra and shorts. JJ didn’t bat an eye at your chest, solely focused on your injuries. He stayed silent while he carefully unwrapped the compression from your ribcage, which was now twisted from your sleeping position. He sucked in through his teeth while he looked at your ribcage, horribly discolored and red from the wrap, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to your tiny heart tattoo, almost invisible from the bruising.

“Broken?” He asked.

You shrugged. You don’t pay attention when doctors talk, that was Christine’s job.

JJ didn’t acknowledge your answer, just continued his work. He pressed a kiss to each spot he unwrapped, telling you something about how it always made them heal faster.

“Kisses from a handsome man like myself make everything better.” He had said with a playful glint in his eye.

You wanted to smile and the sweetness and pureness of it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to.

JJ finished and crumpled up the old wraps and bandages before tossing them in the garbage and looking back at you. He looked at you for a moment before reaching his hand out and softly running his fingers over your red scratches. You couldn’t read his expression. You still didn’t know JJ well, having hated him the entire time you’ve known him up until just over a week ago, you were seeing him in a new light, and you couldn’t tell what he was making of all of this.

You told yourself he was probably over this, annoyed that he was having to deal with the beaten down girl in front of him instead of sticking himself into the gorgeous blonde he had wrapped around him at the Boneyard.

He thinks you're ugly and pathetic. Who the fuck scratches themselves?

“These look like they hurt, baby. You gotta stop doing this to yourself.” He said, bringing his blue eyes up to meet yours. “Not that easy.” You rasped back.

JJ sighed and nodded, he of all people knew how not easy it was to quit a coping mechanism. He always hated when Pope or Kiara would try to tell him to just “Stop drinking” or “Stop getting in fights”. It isn't easy when you feel like that’s the one thing that will help you.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said seriously, his eyes full of intensity as he looked at you, the girl he felt so strongly for that he mistook the feeling for hatred.

You scoffed.

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

JJ sighed and looked down before settling himself between your legs, his eyebrows knit together and eyes sharp on yours. “You know.”

“What kinda girl lets this happen to herself, JJ? It’s ugly, I look ugly.” Tears started to build up again and JJ didn’t know what to say.

“Baby, you didn’t let anything happen. This is not on you.”

You shook your head as more tears fell, “You don’t get it, I’m weak.”

JJ just shook his head, “No.”

“Stop disagreeing with me!” You yelled, trying to punch his chest but crying out from the pain in your hands. “I’m weak, I’m pathetic, I’m gross, I’m ugly! He did this to me! He made me this way and now he gets away with it! He gets away-”

You were inconsolable, your words were barely coherent as snot and tears ran down your face. You wanted JJ to agree, tell you you were weak and ugly, you needed to be right. It was comfortable to be right. “I’m right, JJ! Don’t fucking tell me I’m wrong! Why are you lying to me?!”

“Baby-”

“He did this to me! I’ll never feel clean again!”

If JJ’s heart wasn’t fully broken before, it was now. He felt utterly helpless for the first time in his life, completely not knowing what to do. He always had a next move. Even when his dad was beating the shit out of him, even when a kook had him pinned down, face in the sand and barely able to breathe. But now, looking at you, body broken and bruised and lips and eyes red and puffy from crying, choking on your own sobs, JJ felt fucking useless.

“(Y/n), please, breathe, angel.”

You stopped for a second and pushed your hair out of your face, looking at him confused.

“You can let it out, just remember to breathe, okay? You’re gonna panic and scratch yourself again.” His voice was so gentle as his hand lightly squeezed the back of your neck, his other hand softly caressing your thigh.

You just nodded slowly, expecting him to yell at you for your outburst or tell you you’re being childish, but you received the opposite. You began to take deep breaths for JJ, beginning to realize you’d do just about anything to get rid of the heart broken expression on his face.

He took deep breaths with you, placing your hands on his chest and covering them with his own so you could feel the rise and fall and the patter of his heart beat. He gave you a small smile when your breathing settled, and he let you fall into his chest, wrapping his arms around you. “Proud of you, pretty girl. Did so good.”

You whined and pulled away from him, you wanted to see his face, to see the way he was looking at you. JJ’s hands rested on your hips and he gave them a gentle squeeze as you stared at his ocean eyes.

“I wanna kiss you.” You whispered, your hands coming up to cradle the sides of his neck.

JJ shook his head, “Soon, I promise. Okay? But not now.” He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. He couldn’t kiss you while you were torn apart and terrified, he wanted to see the sparkle in your eyes, that striking grin on your cherry painted lips.

He doesn’t want to kiss you.

“Not like this. Not when you feel this way, okay?”

Oh.

You could’ve sworn your heart burst and melted all the way down to your toes. This was a new JJ. Even when he hated you he probably would’ve jumped at the opportunity to do anything with you, shutting up your loud mouth with his own. But now, it’s almost like he’s afraid to break you.

You nodded but stayed silent, finally letting your body rest against his. “I need to talk to the group.”

JJ nodded, helping you off of the counter. His heart squeezed when you intertwined your fingers with his, gently holding on so you wouldn’t hurt your hand further. His heart skipped a beat when you brought your free hand up to hold onto his forearm. You were gonna give him butterflies forever.

The two of you walked outside the bathroom and you saw your friends sitting and waiting for you, and you began to feel nauseous.

Once JJ got you out of the bathroom and onto the couch comfortably, you let go of his hand and he suddenly felt empty. You ran your hands up and down your thighs with anxiety before letting out a small whimper, feeling your body begin to surge with panic as you thought about what you had to tell your friends.

“You’re safe.” JJ whispered, his hands hovering over you like he wasn’t sure what you wanted from him. You looped your arm through his and he brought his hand over to gently rest on your knee, giving you a soft kiss on your temple.

“I wanted to tell you guys this as soon as I knew, but I had to tell you in person and when I got here the emotions were just too much and-”

JJ pulled your hand down from your neck, softly shushing you to stop you from rambling. You hadn’t even realized you were scratching. You took a deep breath and looked at JJ again, waiting for his quick nod before you took the deepest breath of your life and said the words you had been dreading to say all week.

“Tyler killed my mom and sister.”

+

taglist: @avatarastra @rowanwashere @luniibin @imjustanothernerd @maddyasleson @vntgkenz @ponyboys-sunsets @imawhoreforu @maybvnks @tpwkcth @steves-cake-face @ellavalentine1844 @aleksanderwh0r3 @sunsetloveblvd @fallingfavourites @ajxlawley @sarahcameronswhore @24kkenn @perfectnouis @heartbeats-wildly @fandoms039 @gopromises @xxxlaura @6r4cie @mendesmaybank @moonysluvr @kiwi5335 @jjs-pope @aliyahsomerhalder @parkershoco @abm111815 @allaloneisokay @father-violet @yourbloodyqueen @sweetpeterparker @sarahs-bitch @oopsiedoopsie23 @kexrtiz @chenlemure @sarahxcameron @yoongitoo @gloryekaterina @caseysalvatore​ @moniamaybank​ @futur3milf​ @matbarzalschain​ @rmvb24​ @iamthatbitchhh @stilynskii​ @americaarse​ @

my masterlist 

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Brothers and Side Characters Play the Sims

I don’t know what possessed me to make this but WHATEVER. I’ve been playing the Sims since I was a wee little girl, and I’ve seen my fair share of weird Sims stuff that I feel would fit these bozos perfectly.

My Sims have a Functional Family Life Because I Don’t (Lucifer)

God dammit Levi’s obsessed with another game... ugh.

Spends 5 minutes in Create-a-Sim and hops into a starter home.

Lucifer’s the type to start with all the average stuff and then build their stuff up as his sim gets promotions.

It’s just... so peaceful...

...he’s adopting a dog.

Look at his new little virtual family... his sim-kids are self sufficient and getting A’s in school, his Sim spouse MC or Diavolo take your pick loves his Sim-self, his sim-dog-

WAIT NO- THE DOG’S AN ELDER?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

...

He’s fine. It was just a virtual dog. *sniffle*

He’s now spending his free time drinking Demonus and playing the Sims.

What’s a mod? Levi why does your sim have gun?

Behold, My Gorgeous Home... It’s a Box (Mammon)

Mammon, like the rest of the HOL, is mooching off of Levi’s Origin account.

“AW SHIT! This house looks awesome! I’m gonna build it for Sim-me to live in!”

Mammon proceeds to build a box with rooms. Yay...

He just picks the funnest sounding job if he picks any job at all for his Sim. That’s how he ended up making 9 dollars an hour in the criminal career.

Didn’t stop Mammon from buying that solid gold bathroom set from Get Famous... a box with solid gold bathrooms.

His Sim is broke send help-

“Leviiiiiii my sim needs money... the people my sim kidnapped and is forcing to paint aren’t making enough money...” “Ugh... press control shift C and type ‘motherlode’.”

...Levi made a mistake.

“FUCK YEAH! MOTHERLODE!”

His sim’s life is so chaotic, he has a piranha pool that his sim has almost died in twice, the sim is carrying on several torrid love affairs, his sim got struck by lightning, his sim has nearly died in a grilled cheese making accident twice... in the same day.

At least once Sim-Mammon and Sim-MC get married things calm down a little.

Mammon finds out what custom content is and proceeds to download EVERYTHING HE CAN FIND.

And now he’s asking Levi why his computer is running so slow.

Expansion Pack King (Leviathan)

He got into it back when the Sims 2 was new, he’s a veteran fan.

“Bro remember when Agnes Crumplebottom would show up and whack the shit out of your sims if they were flirting?”

“Remember when that witch would show up randomly on the lot you were on if you had Makin’ Magic?”

“Remember when Bella Goth was abducted by aliens and we just... didn’t question it?”

He whines about the Sims4 and how crappy it is but still buys every expansion pack, game pack, and stuff pack.

This boy watches like 40 hours of built tutorials and ends up sobbing over his weird roofs.

“WHY DOESN’T IT LOOK AS NICE AS THE ONE I’M LOOKING AT?! THIS ISN’T FAIR!”

The mod folder is so full istg-

Levi gets custom content for the sole purpose of making his favourite fictional characters.

This is why Henry and the Lord of Shadows are married and Ruri-chan and Sim-Levi are roommates.

Oh my god they were roommates-

Levi also added his brothers to the world and uh... Sim-Mammon died in a tragic pool accident F.

Levi then proceeded to befriend the Grim Reaper.

He’s anxiously awaiting the release of Paralives.

Wait Gameplay? In This Build Simulator? (Satan)

Satan’s here to build and leave. Gameplay who?

Our favourite bundle of rage is a master architect and the amount of followers on the Gallery he has shows it.

He takes up those build shell challenges and always ends up making them look positively perfect.

Asmo’s always using his houses, and Satan often takes requests when he gets bored.

No Mammon, he reserves the right to refuse to build a golden castle for you- YOUR SIM HAS 40 SIMOLEONS-

No mods, no CC, he’s building with what EA gave him.

...and EA gave him debug objects, and he’s not going to explain how to get them.

The one time he did actually play with a family... it was one sim and seven cats.

He tries to play without cheats... and ends up getting frustrated and turns on cheats.

All hail the Pets Expansion Pack.

Custom Content Soap Opera (Asmodeus)

Asmo spends 5 hours in Create a Sim then just... clicks out of the game.

That’s how it goes most of the time, buuuuuut when he gets super invested in a family he’s made, boy howdy is he INVESTED.

Sim A is carrying on an affair with Sim C who’s in love with Sim B who’s married to Sim A but Sim D wants to kill Sim A and C even though they’re the illegitimate child of Sim C-

When Asmo realizes that in the Sims 4 he needs to manufacture all the drama himself and he can’t just sit back with a glass of wine and watch the fireworks, he switches to the Sims 2 and 3.

“...why is this old lady beating up my Sim..?”

He immediately recoils in horror upon seeing how ugly the Sims are pre Sims4.

HE NEEDS TO FIX THIS-

Ah, there we go, perfect. Custom Content to the rescue!

He ends up remaking the entire world just so he doesn’t have to look at weird looking Sims.

Asmo is the only one to have finished a proper Legacy Challenge, but it gets crazy chaotic after gen 3.

“My sim just got abducted by aliens and now he’s pregnant- WHAT?!”

He has about 40 saves and only two he actually plays.

Just a Big Ol’ Happy Family (Beelzebub)

Beel found the game, proceeded to make everyone in create-a-sim to the best of his abilities, and made everyone get along.

That’s why Sim-Lucifer and Sim-Belphie are on a swing set together, they’re friends :D

“Hey Luke do you think you can make this?” “I-is that a cake shaped like a hamburger?” “Yes. Please make.”

He took one look at the cooking options and decided to max out his Sim’s cooking skill to unlock all the options.

Beel proceeded to drool all over his keyboard. Gross...

Boy howdy did he have some crazy dinner suggestions!

Overall, very wholesome Sim-life, except for the time Sim-Levi died because the toilet caught fire, don’t worry, Sim-Beel knows how to make ambrosia.

All is good in the Sim save...

...until Sim-Beel ate pufferfish nigiri and fuckin died-

Wait Did I Not Pause- (Belphie)

Huh, this game looks fine... I’ll play for a little- *SNORE*

Belphie makes some sims, plops them into a starter home, plays for an hour, then falls asleep.

He wakes up five hours later to absolute carnage.

Three sims have died because someone decided to make Mac and Cheese and the oven caught fire, the kids were taken away by social services, and the dog ran away.

“...heheh, holy shit everyone look.”

He doesn’t play often, but when he does, death occurs. He has found out every death method for every game from Sims 2 to 4.

And that INCLUDES the Sims Medieval! You guys remember that game?

Sometimes it’s not intentional, but Belphie got bored with the totally normal life his sims were living and decided to spice it up.

“Why are the ghosts breaking my showers..?”

Help There’s a Bug- (Diavolo)

The Crown Prince started playing when he noticed Lucifer was playing it.

He was immediately obsessed.

Dia mostly plays the Sims Medieval because he likes the feeling of achievement after completing a quest!

“Barbatos... why isn’t my Sim completing their task? The icon won’t show up.” “My lord it appears the game is bugged.” “:(“

No one thought to tell Diavolo that EA doesn’t plan on offering bug support to a game made in like... 2009

This doesn’t matter! Look at how great his kingdom is doing- oh no his hero has the plague-

He plays through the Pirates and Nobles expansion and manages to get the peaceful ending, he’s so proud of himself.

“MC! Look! My Monarch’s sword is permanently on fire and I’m fighting an evil wizard!”

When he does play the other Sims games he’s pretty basic, though, he does a great job at furnishing!

Dia gets crazy sad when his Sims die... he turns off aging.

Builder no. 2 (Barbatos)

Barbie doesn’t have time for this... but when he does, he builds.

No create a sim.

No playing the game as intended.

Just builds.

It’s relaxing, okay? A nice little suburban house he’s never going to play in, maybe a treehouse, maybe a big Hollywood Mansion...

The only time he actually plays the game outside of build mode is when someone needs his help to fix something in-game.

He does download custom content build items if he feels bored by the current selection.

Oh Crap What Am I Doing?! (Simeon)

Help him. Please.

He’s so confused.

“Luke, why is my sim upset?” “He’s hungry, Simeon.” “Oh, how do I fix that?” “...Simeon-”

There’s a toilet in the middle of the living room.

The fridge is facing the wall.

There’s no bathtub or shower.

The house is on fire- there is no god- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Okay, once he gets the hang of it he’s sitting pretty. His sims have good jobs, the kids are getting good grades, everything’s fine.

...

But Simeon won’t forget the nightmares.

What Even is This Save? (Solomon)

Solomon’s save is the definition of chaos.

One sim’s a vampire, the other is a spellcaster that really wants to fight the Callientes for some reason, there’s one normal sim that’s always sick for some reason,

It gets weird, confusing, and horrible.

Just how Solomon likes it.

His house makes no sense, like, what even is architecture?

Money cheats are needed because Solomon‘a goal of chaos and confusion is proving to be kind of expensive.

Square up Mortimer Goth, Solomon’s sims are here to steal your weird knight statue that’s worth a shit ton of simoleons for NO REASON.

He joined the scientist career for the sole purpose of getting to the alien planet and kidnapping adding an alien to the household via cheats.

The vampire ended up dying on their wedding day because Solomon forgot that he gave them the sun weakness.

Oh well, the ghost got added to the household! VAMPIRE GHOST!

The Child (Luke)

Before you say Luke’s too young to play the Sims, you should know that I was nine when I first started playing, and I turned out fiiiiiiiiiine.

He’s just happy to be playing.

Look, his sims are gardening :D

Look, two of them are getting married :D

Look, they had a baby :D

Look, his sims are building a rocket ship :D

Look, his sims’s rocket just crashed-

The concept of death hit the little angel right in the face that day.

“*sniffle*... my sims...”

Don’t worry, with tears in his eyes, Luke quit without saving and everything was fine!

Speaking of My Sims, Luke played MySims Sky Heroes and that was when Luke had his first bout of gamer rage.

MC came over to hang out with Solomon and Simeon, and in the distance they could just hear:

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY TIME WASN’T FAST ENOUGH TO CONTINUE THE STORY!? I’LL SHOW YOU FAST ENOUGH TIME!”

Okay, maybe Simeon should take the game away... just for a bit... he should take heed not to be bitten by the incredibly angry chihuahua.

Bonus:

MC: Why are our Sims married?

*Insert Boy Here*: Uh... that’s weird... I have no clue why they’re doing that...

[weirdcat1213]

YEY THE HORRORS i mean YEY THE BOOKCLUB :D

thoughts on volume 6 (oh boi we're almost halfway someone hold me pls)

chap 1:

-OH MY GOD ITS HIM I FORGOT ABOUT HIM FOR A MOMENT (not in general, ik he's in 98)

-HEY HIS WINGS MAY BE CREEPY BUT THEYRE ALSO BEAUTIFUL TO ME >:[

-HOWEVER i love how yeah they are scared af but also get that vash as a person is not bad and they don't leave his side

-WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR BF LIKE THAT STOP STOP STOOOOOP. IDC THAT HE IS A LITERAL LASER CANON HES STILL JUST A LITTLE GUY

-are we...supposed to notice how bad the state of the gun is or...?

-nono brandon is right, i would also not give good guns to cops

-vash i fucking swear-

-SHUT UP YOU FUCKING COP >:[

-BRO WTF

-YEAH BRANDON CALL HIM OUT

-MY FAVORITE WEIRD CREATURE IS HERE

-ok in my 1st read didnt get that, idk why but i was confused about meryl getting worried for some reason. but she has a (sad) point. will one day the ptsd related to violence and guns be enough to make vash not shoot his gun? shes asking an interesting question. shes literally asking how much can vash take imo.

-wait so...was the replacement gun...the one in stampede??? (i will compare them later)

-DONT LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE GENTLE EYES MAN CMON

-I didnt notice he took the punisher lmao

chap 2:

-:c wolfwood having nightmares its not even a hc, IT IS CANON

-NOT THE FLASHBACK OF VASH CRYING BLOOD OUCH NO PLS NO

-:c im not even mad at wolfwood calling vash a monster cuz it must be fucking TERRIFYING but it still hurts :c

-you could...but youre not gonna

-"so yeah you cant be there for every problem in the pla- HOLD UP WHERE ARE YOU GOING"

-lmao meryl is like me fr

-this time i got most of the fight but i think we can all agree the mpv was the table

chap 3

-YEY LEGATO IN THE.....metal handbag?

-YES ELENDIRA FUCKING READ HIM

-OH MY GOD HES HERE HES HERE OH GOD NO

-i remember i was so confused i didnt realize THATS HIS FUCKING TONGUE

-also did double fang kill trail of death?

chap 4:

-OH I LOVE THIS SCENE SM. i also hate walking in a place with a shit ton of people

-YES IT IS BABY, THATS THE SAME CHILD YOU [so so redacted] WOOOOOOOOO (i love this chapter)

-oh...yeah that...oh

-"we cant survive without her power, neither can you" dude...dont...just dont

-ah yes. the hair. yeap. just a cool artistic decision. yeap.

-also i forgot how fucked up the last run was here

-oh he felt it, i saw that in his eye

-oh so he also went apeshit....ohhhhh. ok so if vash went apeshit cuz of a physical fight or flight reaction (I THINK) did knives go apeshit cuz of hate? the physical need to kill people in revenge? nice

-BRO WDYM "why not just end this crusade?" YOU JUST SAW WHY HE WOULD NEVER END IT

-oh that was his last straw. one thing is him being tricked by a human but that lie affecting his brother? the one thing he's trying to protect (yes ik he's not doing the greatest job at it) from humans? yeah no you gotta die

chap 5:

-NO. NO. NONONONONONON NOT THIS CHAPTER NO

-I HATE THE METAPHOR ALREADY (i love it. i want to yell at nightow my thoughts about it. i will never be normal about it)

-pls no. im begging you. pls dont make me read this again. this is when my sanity starts to break into little raggedy pieces of paper

-i just notices this change happens cuz he got HIS MEMORIES BACK WHAT IF I ENDED IT ALL

-i dont want to read anymore

-its just. so fucking hard. like ik we say hes jesus. but at the same time jesus never felt like that. jesus was born without sin but in vash's eyes he is full of sins and no one can forgive him. bro, honey, god would forgive you anything. you are his favorite im sure. but no matter the arguments for the allegory vash can never be jesus cuz he carries the pain of his "sins" everyday PLUS THE ONES FROM THE HUMANS. idk. im sad and tired. my baby. its ok i forgive you. and im sure rem forgives him. im sure. im sad

-anyway, back to the kinda normal thoughts

-also i think vash thinking he has to forgive himself is kinda flawed. like instead of forgiveness he has to accept what happened and i think those are different things. ofc yeah july was messed up but he never intended to do it. idk

-ANYWAY

-huh, those speakers look like eyes

-cant even swallow in misery in peace anymore lmao

-:c not the day drinking

-i think thats vash talking but yeah....nothing is easy for my guy. hes kinda right, better than crying ig...

-i prefer spike-isms but i will also take needle noggin-isms thank u

-that man can move in such unnatural ways *hears the uncanny vash people cheer at a distance*

-oof, the ptsd got meryl

-also the question is not whether vash was going to take the bullet or not, the real question is how hard does that question makes me cry

- SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUP

-OOF, i mean i 100% get meryl but OOF

-also YES THATS WHAT I FUCKING MEAN. AND I READ THIS ON [redacted] A FEW WEEKS AGO. THE BALANCE BETWEEN EXTREMES ITS JUST NULL, ITS NOT A COLOR AT ALL. his love and faith in humanity vs the pain they cause him...that balance creates a colorless emotion and IM SAD ABOUT IT.

-i hate that final page. i fucking hate milly protecting meryl from her memories while comforting her while protecting her from the rocks, i hate the people still insult vash even when he was long gone, i hate to see the children who saw the same thing as their parents try to convince them to stop because they know vash would never hurt people on purpose only to be ignored..and more than anything i hate vash apologizing for something he has no control over.

-ALSO I ALSO FEEL LIKE CRYING VASH-

[let it be on the record that i needed a minute to continue with the volume]

chap 6:

-OH NO IT STARTS

-"how could i have known?" youre telling me you spent years studying yourself and other plants and never saw one with black hair? really? (im not saying its a plot hole, im saying he was too distracted being a dick)

-so that was his imagination im assuming

-TESLA MENTION WE WIN

-OH GOD OH NO PLS GET ME OUT OF HERE NO PLS NOT THIS

-i love her dialogue with the funny glasses lmao, she really was the only mom ever

-oh..here come the tears

-oh right..they used to be like this

-oh...oh god