#if i get her (i will legit try to save up for her) shell further the pink girlie anime figure squad (+neku)

[haunted-xander]

I want the Mikan figure so bad look how cute she is

[percontaion-points]

Lifeblood chapters 27 & 28, bonus chapter 10

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark image descriptions

Chapter 27

“The warehouse where Shells are made still stands. Now we collect a Shell, go to the Courthouse and offer what support we can.”

Chapter 27 summary: Killian doesn’t exactly come into Troika (he still can’t without turning into ash), but he does bring some light. And it’s enough to turn the battle in Ten’s favour. She has Victor on the ground with her swords pointed at him, and decides to be merciful. Despite the fact that the narration even admits that he would have killed her without hesitation. 

Others show up, including Levi, who tells Ten that Jeremy is okay. He’s hurt, but won’t go to the hospital himself. Mariee reaches out through the grid to give them a boost of light, which is enough to revitalise both Ten and Levi. They then start working to search for bodies or survivors in the rubble. 

Clay shows up after a while, having been freed by Killian. He says that Kayla is awake, and wants to talk to her, so they go. As you can imagine, after a homefield battle like that, the hospital is a mess and full of heavily injured people. Kayla sits with Levi, who is also offering up forgiveness and leniency. Ten sits by Kayla’s bedside, and also offers up forgiveness as well. It’s all quite boring, I assure you. 

Some time later, Deacon shows up to say that Dior’s trial has already started. Ten is like “WTF? How can they do that after what happened?”, but Deacon says that they “missed the deadline to change the date”. So they run to go to the trial. 

Chapter 28

Brigitte’s mother. Smiling, she grabs my hands; she’s the only bit of happiness amid the gloom. “Thank you. Thank you!”

 I simply blink at her. 

“Brigitte signed with Troika this morning!” 

My brow furrows with confusion. “Why?” I don’t understand. I spoke to her once, only once. 

“Whatever you said kept her thinking. She couldn’t escape your words and finally visited a TL stationed in Paris. They spoke at length. She left crying but returned a few hours later to make her pledge.”

Full offence, but I legit do not give a shit about any of this. 

A radiant smile lifts the corners of his lips. “Then let us begin.”

Chapter 28 summary: They hurry over to the courthouse, and sit next to Javier. They watch for hours as Dior’s life choices are dissected. Finally, the man from Myriad acting as her barrister says that she ended up killing a lot of Troika people simply to save her own skin. At this point, dozens of people from Troika stand up and say that they forgive Dior. 

Then the Myriad barrister plays a memory from that morning, of Javier talking to Dior before the trial started. What he says isn’t all that important, but Ten latches onto the fact that it looked like Javier reinfected Dior. 

In the end, Dior is afraid and she chooses to remain with Myriad. So Levi is killed. And it’s some of the most overly dramatic garbage imaginable. Like at this point, if you don’t have an emotional attachment to Levi, this overdrawn death scene is only dragging the book down further. However, his death causes a huge uproar in the courthouse, which results in Killian and Deacon physically carrying Ten from there. Killian says that he has to go into hiding, and will be looking for how to get into Many Ends. 

When Ten gets back home, she runs to the destroyed manna fields where she starts screaming in frustration. Mariee comes to Ten, and says that Firstking has decided that Ten should be the one who decides who is going to be brought back from the rest. 

Ten then runs off to the cave in Russia, where she summons Killian. She tells him about her new role, and how unworthy for it she feels. Killian is like “IDK man. That’s rough” while kissing her. Because of course he doesn’t have any actual advice for her. The two of them eventually agree to enter into their own covenant with each other, and to try and free everybody trapped in Many Ends. 

Bonus chapter 10

Report to Zhi Chen for debriefing.

Bonus chapter 10 summary: Sloan tries to message Killian to tell him that the darkness disease is spreading, and that Killian has to come back so that he can help. But the message bounced, and alerted Zhi about this. 

The book ends on this note. 

[piduai]

What do you think of Casca (Berserk)? I often see people praise her as this badass and yet emotionally complex female character (à la Arya and Brienne), but imo she's really badly written and the epitome of Miura's misogyny lol

completely agree with you!!!!!!!! casca is a travesty of a character with EXTREMELY misogynistic writing. berserk is wildly misogynistic in itself (reason for which it’s praised so much as a manime) but the horrid writing of women just climaxes with casca. 

first off the entire POINT of her character is to be used as a tool for manpain. she’s presented at first as this brass, self-reliant, Strong Female Character but it’s all on paper, if you look at her actions she’s utterly useless - in the first big fight she faints and falls off a cliff BECAUSE SHE’S GOT HER PERIOD. actually scratch that, she is introduced warming guts’ bed because “that’s what women are supposed to do” lmfaoooo just how more gross can you get!! anyway she passes out because she’s on her period (shocker), has to be rescued by guts (paint me surprised), then falls off a cliff again and ends up fucking guts (i’m literally on the floor from how Unpredictable and not pulled-out-of-author’s-ass this plotline is!! wow!!!!). her backstory is her being sold into slavery and being sexually assaulted by the man who bought her, but like it’s cool because she kills him, and then 50 chapters later she’s literally raped into insanity by a bunch of hellspawn monsters and then by the shell of the man that has saved her and gave her a purpose to live so long ago. like casca is the EPITOME of the “writing women as objects and not subjects” because she doesn’t bring anything to the table except being a tool for a) femto using her as a way to hurt guts and b) guts’ Villain Origin Story.

i think that by giving casca this horrifying fate, miura has taken his hatred on women out. as i mentioned she was presented as brass and strong and self-reliant at first, and she got severely punished for that. if she was a Good woman, she would never get that kind of treatment - but she isn’t a Good woman, she’s not ladylike and obedient and wearing gowns, so she has to face repercussions. miura uses her femaleness against her constantly, from her introduction to her development to her current position. when griffith triggered the eclipse and sacrificed the band of the hawk, all the men got killed instantly; in a gruesome manner perhaps, but fast and outright. none of them were raped by a flock of eldritch abominations - because they were not women. casca, thought. she had to be stripped naked and raped back and forth before the almighty hand (lol) of injustice bestowed upon her femto’s bat dick. both the anime and the manga leave out the part where she’s being raped by those monsters before the main dish, though. and when she’s being raped by femto the act is presented as BOTH sexy AND being about guts’ suffering, she’s just merely a tool with which he can be manipulated, it’s not about her pain or humiliation or sanity, which she ends up losing. and pray, both griffith and guts have been raped as children, but they managed to keep their agency and their sanity and get decent writing as characters and not as victims, something that casca was denied. people demonize griffith for raping her but i won’t believe in a million years that all those dudebros who project their masturbatory masculinity on guts give a rat’s ass about her, they all wail because femto has actually hurt the object of their wet dreams (guts), i’d rather take a bullet than believe that any of them care about the woman. i’ve actually seen people actively blaming casca for being raped (barf) or claiming that she actually enjoyed it (legit? try ringing god and ask for a brain since biology and mother nature has clearly missed on you on that, religion is your only saving throw). same people who demonize griffith-not-griffith for raping casca also somehow turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to guts’ multiple attempts to rape her WHEN SHE HAD THE MENTAL CAPACITY AND DEVELOPMENTAL STAGE OF AN INFANT. but who cares about that am i right

i don’t hate casca. i consider that the kindest fate she could have gotten would have been to be killed during the eclipse, but then what would give guts manpain? what would further an otherwise dead plot? miura’s writing of griffith is fantastic and phenomenal, the golden age arc was one of the finest pieces of fiction i’ve ever consumed, but his talent is this limited. it’s not even casca alone, he sexualizes the fuck out of EVERY female character - luca is introduced naked and pleasing a man, farnese has cut her pussy on guts’ Mighty Sword, the whole second arc with the fairies is basically lowkey loli pr0n, even schierke wasn’t spared a few naked shots. he’s just misogynistic like that, he doesn’t want to and can’t write women and there’s nothing to do about it.

[wildflower8281]

Some of the Crazy Shit in #nunlife

I’m trying to understand why I’m feeling so moved to write (again!) about much of this and share it. I think the answer is 3-fold:

1.) To bring awareness to an institution that is little known and that does a few things well, but a buncha things not so greatly. Incase any friends, parents or girls considering religious life ever read this – I have been and am happy to be available to connect and share more. I’ve been doing this for years offline – just sharing the behind the scenes, so as to remove the idealistic view that this order portrays. People be free to make their own decisions, tho!

2.) For me, there is a release and a letting go that happens when I write and share it out. It’s like the energy of it all is no longer lingering in my body and mind. It’s on the laptop and it’s out in the world. While I’ve had lots of pieces of my transition on my tumblr for years and other #nunlife posts on fb before, for some reason I’m feeling moved to write this way and share now, so here I am!

3.) I think my #conventlife is also like a really good book. You can revisit it at various points in your life and see new things, take in new messages, read the nuances even further. It’s pretty fascinating to me, so I enjoy revisiting, looking at parts from new perspectives, and allowing new lessons and wisdoms to appear for me.

(Below, basketball games and birthday celebrations with some of our very favorite youth and families.) 

In my last post, I shared a lot of what life in Spanish Harlem was like, as a missionary sister, living day to day. Pretty basic nun stuff, even if it was new to readers. Here I’m going to follow-up with some events during my 4 years in San Pablo that I have a love/hate relationship with. I love them because I’m pretty sure without them taking place, I may never have left (and leaving has been all things awesome, so!)….and I hate them because they were truly some of the most difficult, exhausting, dark years of my life on all levels. Looking back, I’m pretty confident it was the Universe going: “Here – you are getting the intensive course on burnout…Imma send you a legit crazy (1 definite, a few mas or menos) and make you literally in charge of everything…for 2+ years. Then, you’ll die, want to leave and get on with your life.” 

I think like any people-pleaser, like anyone who can’t say no, like anyone who knows not their own voice – my story is no different, with the exception that I was wearing a bright blue habit and a veil. The rules were a little more dramatic – to say no, was saying no to God….and quitting was quite literally scandalous….but still, same structure. I think we all have our own levels of what drives us to our utter exhaustion and burnout. For me, it was a mentally ill sister and replacing another who left, with little support in either situation. This is not a complete piece about why I left – as ultimately the motivation was much more interior - but more a list of external events and circumstances that led to my utter collapse on all levels.

How To Get Girls to Leave Religious Life in 3 Easy Steps:

·         Make them Superior. Firstly, being the “superior” of nuns older than you both in religious life and real life just felt uncomfortable. Dealing with the Pastor without having any mission experience was also highly uncomfortable, and it didn’t help that he was the most stoic priest ever and only spoke when necessary. It was annoying and scary at first. (After getting to know him over the years, however, that eased up & I learned he was like a really big-hearted Uncle, who had drank the Stoic Koolaid. It’s cool. I admire him for many things still to this day. He has actually since left the order, but is still a priest!) Being sent to Harlem as superior was like this: “Here, be in charge of all operations in this place you’ve never been to, and be in charge of these people who have been here longer than you.” It was just annoying and stressful!!! That’s what I got for being responsible & docile. Of course, I looked to the sisters who had been there longer for most of my answers in those first years. I knew how to be humble, yo! But still – I really didn’t enjoy being the Superior.. Training was joke – barely a week. It’s “the missionary adventure!” they said. “Trust the Holy Spirit!” they said! “Grace will provide!” they said!  #Koolaid, I say, to help the cray go down easier.

·         Send them a Crazy. My 2nd year there, the Provincial Superior decided to send me a “troubled” sister. Due to my “calm and peaceful nature” she thought I could handle this sister and would be a good superior for her and that I should really try to bond with her, so that she would trust me & get better, etc. This sister was notorious for her emotional outbursts & instability and for having been shipped from convent to convent, because of the trouble she caused....

 Long, long story short-ish – she ended up having Borderline Personality Disorder, which we discovered during her stint in Harlem. (Before I go any further, please know I take mental illness very seriously. If there is any circumstance that made me realize it’s a very serious thing, it would be the one I am describing here. It’s no joke, it’s not her fault, but many versions of BPD do require intense programs to really get anywhere. I learned and read a shit-ton about it all, not to mention lived it on a daily basis in a very intimate way. I am in no way here blaming this sister for her antics, as clearly the #ssvm is to blame for not responsibly providing her the care she clearly needed.) She was officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist and it was recommended by him (note, a doctor who specialized in treating catholic religious….) that she be put into an intensive treatment program – like a 3-4 day a week program. It was also suggested that she go home to Argentina until she was well, or just for good. Well, the order carried out none of the recommendations of the doctors blaming money constraints and also because “the sick are our chalices” – a brainwashy line in our rulebook to make us think it’s virtuous and saintly to care for every member who is sick in any way, and never send them home. Keeping them with us and taking care of them is like making spiritual bank, basically. So, she stayed in our convent for 2+ years, basically causing unrest on a weekly and, often daily basis. Personally, it was emotionally exhausting for me, as I was the person closest to her & obliged always to care for her (the rest of the sisters basically avoided her and walked on egg-shells around her.) If you know anything about this mental illness, you know that it’s the people closest to them that they manipulate, abuse and have a love/hate relationship with. I think I went to more doctors appointments with her in those 2 years, than ever in my life – every specialist of every kind, there was always something. Basically anything to get my attention. Days when she would cry for hours on end, lock herself in the bathroom, bang her head against the wall, threaten suicide, be totally rebellious….and most of these situations, it was just me and her in the convent. Everyone else was out doing their things in the parish, but I was stuck at home, dealing with her. Despite that though, she found a way to piss off, provoke and drive all my sisters crazy. People with this mental illness are very emotionally savvy and know exactly what to say to provoke and push buttons. The sisters fell for it over and over again, until they finally learned & paid her no mind, which is what she could not stand. Same with me. This is how I learned to not engage. It’s been one of the wisest practices of my life & has saved me a lot of bullshit. The provincial superior, no matter how many things I shared with either of them (there were 2 during my 4 years in Harlem,) never did much to actually help me. It took my spiritual director (priest) to ask the provincial superior to remove this sister from our convent, for my sanity. Did I mention that I was sent with her to Argentina to visit a special doctor?! This was the last straw for me. I ended up cutting my part of the trip short, and flew home alone from Buenos Aires to New York, because she was absolutely nuts and if I stayed any longer, I was going to lose my mind. After that trip is when I asked Father to beg to have her removed from my care and from my convent.  It was emotional and mental manipulation at its best by her, who was ill, and then to feel that my own superiors and order would not remove this situation from not only me, who also had anywhere from 3-5 other sisters to be present to, but would not remove the situation from our house, where it affected the peace and happiness of our convent community.  I am positive it was this situation in particular that really began breaking my circuits. One at a time, the breakers were being flicked off. My brain had less and less mental energy to make decisions. I stopped caring about anything…

·         Add Work, Remove Support. My 3rd year there (still with Sister Borderline), one of our mainstay sisters (the bitchy one) had not gotten laid yet, but had to go back to Argentina to help her mother. She ended up staying there for an entire year and no replacement was sent my way for her. I was asked to take over her parish duties, which was basically a full time job. She was the Director of Religious Education of our huge bilingual program – over 400 students, half on Saturday in Spanish, the rest on Sunday in English. It was a huge beast of a job (like in other parishes, is a regular paid FT job) that I was tasked with, with minimal help. The provincial house sent me 1 sister for a few hours a week to help me, but that was it. This job entailed not only weekend classes, but catechist formation classes (teaching adults how to teach and about the faith) and a ton of reception of the Sacraments, like coordinating hundreds of parents, sponsors and students for Baptisms, 1st Communions and Confirmations with the Bishop and all that insanity. I asked for another full time sister – someone who could really take over and was not given any more help than a few hours a week. Plus, I was still the provincial liturgist, having girls visit our convent, and doing all the things I originally had to do in the parish and as a superior. I was relieved of nothing, just tossed a full time job on top. So, at home I was being driven utterly insane (oh, and of course she was jealous that I was at the parish so much more, so of course she would have bouts of emergency illness, random piercing pains, etc, anything to get me to come back home and check her out, give her attention, make an emergency doctor visit, etc.) and at work, I was overloaded, but expected by Father and the parishoners to keep everything status quo. Not to mention the people of the parish obviously had no idea about the stressor of Sister Borderline and Father knew only minimal information and really didn’t care. He needed shit to get done in his parish and he didn’t care about an angry, whiney, emotional nun in the convent who didn’t work in his parish anyway. Nice set up, huh?

I mean – is it no wonder I left, I don’t like responsibility and I don’t like people?

Is it no wonder I can spot the red flags of people’s bullshit a mile away and be like #talktothehand. Peace.

Is it no wonder I aim to keep my lifestyle simple, free and lighthearted?

Is it no wonder I never want my work or job to become my life?

Is it no wonder that I go crazy when I see people who just don’t say no, and let people or organizations bulldoze over them?

Is it no wonder I never want to be in charge of shit, plan events or do someone else’s work?!

 (Below, amazing youth at my farewell party...I was sent to the mission in Avondale, PA in July 2011 to be a regular sister and take a breather. This breather allowed me to realize and accept it was time for me to go home. Story for another day! Far right is now a NYPD!)

So, like I said at the beginning, it’s a love/hate relationship with these aforementioned circumstances. They totally sucked and at the same time, taught me so many lessons and infused me with loads of insight that I use daily. This is why the children, youth and families of Harlem are my absolute faves – in order to escape the stress and heaviness and utter out-of-controlness of my life, I would just go and hang with them. Laugh with them, eat and play with them. They helped ground me, allowed me to breathe and just always loved on me. And they still do to this day.

How interesting that my own religious family would not support me in these circumstances, and does not see me (or many of us who have left) as family even today? Yet the people of San Pablo always did and still do. I have real friendships with the people I met in Harlem, literally to this day. And when I go back to NY, I visit them. And yet, with the exception of 1 human, no one from the ive or the ssvm would consider me family today. #whoislivingthegospel? #irony

I’m not throwing shade….well, ok, maybe I am, ha! Sometimes, shade’s gotta be thrown, yo! #truth

[belicvcr-blog]

[zoe 101 vc] are you ready? it’s ya local trashbag rachel here--- though you can feel free to call me rach or legit anything. i have a tenancy to call literally everyone ‘guRl’ or ‘BoO’ so if that makes you uncomfy pls call a bitch out it’s just habit okAy. i’m twenty years old, go by she/her pronuns and am from lil ol’ ireland aka the gmt+1 timezone !! under the cut you can find some info on this piece of shit aka delaney.

NINA DOBREV. CISFEMALE. SHE/HER. — have you met delaney rose whitmore? the twenty-four year old works as bartender/underground fighter and is known for being audacious and alluring but also rather obstinate and fiery. they’ve lived here in phoenix for twenty-four years and recently listened to believer by imagine dragons. [ fishnet peeking from beneath ripped denim. purple hues spread across tanned skin, a product of both pleasure and pain. a lifeless, makeshift punching bag lingering in the far corner of a run-down apartment. late nights, neon lights. watching your own father turn to a shell of a being. challenging stoic, bulky men to a fist-fight only to prove them wrong for ever mocking you. being no stranger to the cold feeling of cuffs around skinny wrists. she made sure to take all of her belongings, but left you behind. rim of liquor bottles meeting lips after hours. ]

TW: MENTIONS OF VERBAL ABUSE

okay so, delaney grew up in lil old phoenix and tbh has yet to actually ever leave the place?? like ya girl is twenty-four and legit never took a vacay or anything to get out of the place smh.

started off with a lit family life, was the only child to mr. n mrs. whitmore and they adored their lil baby??  life was legit great until it wasn’t.

by that i mean that delaney was a colic baby and it drove her father INSANE, all the constant crying and whatnot legit just drove him up the fken walls. he couldn’t cope with it and tried to refrain from being around her as much as possible which wound up leaving mommy dearest to deal with it herself.

cutting to the chase, daddy discovered alcohol could numb his stress and welp……. helo addiction amiright. he began to drink to cope with the situation. which eventually, resulted in him getting fired from his job when he turned up to work entirely out of it. which unsurprisingly, only furthered his depressive state and need to sooth the pain with alcoholic substances.

it took years before delaney’s mother had had enough, packing her bags one day and walking out the door. it seemed she packed everything, wiped the house clean of anything that was once hers, that was, everything but delaney .

delaney waited legit for DAYS for mommy dearest to return and take her with her but?? she never did?? and it rly fucked her up a lot basically.

the whole situation forced delaney to become head of the house, considering her pops did nothing more than drink away his days and he had no job so basically whenever she was of age she was getting constant part-time jobs in stores, cafes you name it. she was never that fussed on school and tbh was often found ditching it to go and work instead.

because she was #poor asf she very quickly mingled with the wrong crowds, she’s basically the embodiment of the dirtbag aesthetic??

oh also, as i trigger warning-ed at the start, the more her pops progressed into his alcoholic state the more he started to just.. be a dick? like at first he would never have said shit to either his wife or daughter but at this point in life he’s just miserable and sitting around waiting to die so he’s constantly saying rly horrid things to delaney ?? and while she tries to put on a brave face it always leaves her feeling kinda messed up inside.

saying this, despite the fact she had finally saved enough to move out of her home n into a trashy apartment of her own; she hasn’t abandoned her father either, while she doesn’t know if she loves him or not anymore she feels like… a responsibility?? so for that reason she still checks in on him to make sure he has food and isn’t well.. dead.

quick shoutout @ her occupations. okay so, underground fighting? as i said she’s a literal dirtbag, so when ya girl realized that she could make money having people bet on her to fight she was like … fucking sign me up?? she’s been doing it since she was around eighteen/nineteen, and it was her main source of income for a long period of time.

she took it really seriously? and tbh still does, she has a makeshift punching bag in the corner of her shitty little apartment that has honestly seen better days.

however, one day the popo busted in on one of her particular fights and there was just.. a lotta arrests made that day like damn. sOoo, for a lil while she was put on parole in hopes that it’d help straighten her out and with that she was forced to get a solid job? which is how she wound up being a bartender also because really it was one of the only places that would actually hire her given the fact most considered her a lowkey criminal. 

still 100% does the underground fighting because she loves it sm okay. but she has to keep it on the low low because the popo are always watching her like a hawk.

ya’ll honestly what’s more of a mess?? me?? this intro?? or delaney?? who fken knows man. anyway, basically she is smol and fighty, oh, she’s also one of those people who like.. you don’t tell her she can’t do a thing because she will literally die proving she can do that thing. doesn’t bother trying to make anything of herself bc *gestures to her pops* she gonna end up like him anyway. lOVes fighting, will 10/10 try to fight anyone at any given time. also kinda? a flirt?? she’s very vixen-esque and it’s just in her nature to probs hit on everyone. basically... likes fighting and flirting?? sounds about right. headcanon she probs owns a motorbike because?? why not. also lowkey has a thing against relationships because commitment n trust issues bc mommy left her and watching her parents relationship crumble was a bAD timE. 

i didn’t get time to set up a possible plots/connections page today considering i got called into work unexpectedly---- but i’m the biggest plot whore going and am up for literally anything? 

give me a possible half-sibling? i could see her mom having gone on to remarry and have a new family and tbh delaney wouldn’t want to give them the time of day because she’d blame them for her parents splitting and her mom abandoning her even though it wasn’t their fault. 

give me regulars at the bar??

 someone who has caught her or watched her fight before?? maybe even someone who’s a fan?? 

she could do with some party friends bc lets be honest ya girl drinks n smokes n does all kinds of drugs bc why not dirtbag for life?? 

give me the best friends who grew apart because they ended up growing up differently (aka give me laney having ditched this lil sweetiepie because she was becoming all hardcore and basically began to hate their optimism because she’s a negative nancy.)?? 

give me failed almost-relationships because she suddenly realized how close she was getting to someone and decided to do a runner on them like k no bye. 

give me a duo who are sneaking around?? [ the hills --- the weeknd playing in bg ]

ya’ll i’m a sucker for plots based on songs so maybe some of those?

kinda always wanted a plot based of is there somewhere --- halsey??

oR FKEN WAR OF HEARTS --- RUELLE PLs s.

happier ---  ed sheeran? trouble ---  halsey? robbers ---  the 1975?

idk ya’ll i’m just spewing ideas now pls give me EVeryTHINg.

[essayofthoughts]

i was wondering some things about wanda. between aou and cacw, what do you think she did when she wasn't training/hanging out w/ other avengers? grieving pietro & cursing stark's name can't be all wanda does. That's existing, not living. also i doubt she'd accept money knowingly related in anyway to stark, so how did she support herself? or did she not care/know how the avengers were funded & if that's case, how did that work out? i'm so confused by wanda. what's your take on this?

I’m gonna address this in two parts. This gets... incredibly long, so I’m putting it beneath a cut but, tl;dr: 1) the Maximoffs were codependent and therefore grief is a whole other kettle of fish, 2) I think Wanda would take money from Stark if only so he doesn’t have it, besides which, she has no clear way to support herself otherwise.

between aou and cacw, what do you think she did when she wasn't training/hanging out w/ other avengers? grieving pietro & cursing stark's name can't be all wanda does. That's existing, not living. 

You seem to be missing the (very important for understanding the twins) fact that the Maximoff twins were incredibly codependent. Pietro visibly relies more on Wanda than she on him, but their codependency does very much seem to be mutual. When you leave a codependent relationship - be it by choice, by rejection, or by the other party dying... you suddenly have nothing. The twins were each other’s worlds, just about everything bound back to ensuring the other’s wellbeing and/or their vengeance, which they believed was key to their continued and lasting wellbeing.

After Wanda tears out Ultron’s heart, she seems to collapse. She makes no effort to try to save herself even though she knows the rock is going to be exploded. She curls in the wreckage of the tram, by the torn open corpse of Ultron’s primary, and she does nothing. I think, in honestly, she was passively suicidal - she was not going to make any attempt to save herself, and, with Pietro gone, I think she believed that there was no one left in the world who would care enough to try to get her out, get her to safety. When Novi Grad falls and Vision comes to get her... she’s surprised. She doesn’t expect it. She expected to be left to grieve and to die because Pietro isn’t there anymore. 

I think it takes her at least a week, possibly a month before she pulls herself entirely out of the depression Pietro’s death causes. I think that, at first, she spends a lot of time with Clint who - as he says himself, owes a debt. Clint owes Wanda the price of her brother’s life and I explore this in a few fics, most relevantly here Driving for Many Hours. 

(I also think that Steve tries and that’s why she has the cross pendant in her room, but I don’t think Steve quite gets it - as I say in Best, “He thinks he understands, that his Bucky means he knows what I feel having lost Pietro. He doesn't. His Bucky is alive, and that gives him hope. My Pietro is dead, and I have none.”) 

I think Clint, for the most part, gives her space but also ensures she’s not alone - when like that, as Wanda would be, being alone is the worst thing that can be. You lose time. You forget to eat when you’re hungry and then it gets to a point that you’re not sure if its that you’re hungry or that you feel like you’re gonna be sick. You sleep a lot and lose more time. I think Clint stays at her side and tries to keep her from this, and I think this is how she gets to know the Barton family - and yeah, I do agree with the actors’ statements in interviews that they think Wanda visits the farm. God, I mean Clint’s youngest is named for her brother. Of course she visits.

So, she starts recovering from the deep well of codependent grief. She visits the Bartons a lot - probably babysits the Barton kids, plays with them, helps out at the farm with Clint’s building projects. But I think it gets to a point that these don’t occupy her enough, and this is when she goes back and starts training. I think she buries herself in training, only really emerging to socialise when Vision or Clint point out she’s done nothing but for a few days straight. I think they talk to her and this is how she gets close to Vision. I also think that, as part of training, Sam insists all the Avengers get counselling. I don’t think Wanda opens up much in this, so the counsellor is left trying to help with symptoms but not able to tackle the cause. I think this is why she has the acoustic guitar in her room.

I think she takes time to learn more about where they are - she suggests in CACW to Vision that she go out to get food which suggests she knows the local area, can probably drive (as I put in Prompt: Driving Lessons I’m willing to be she already knew how to drive just not... legally) so I imagine she knows the local area, probably goes to a library and/or a museum, sits and reads and observes people in cafes. I think she plays draughts and backgammon and chess with Vision, I think she watches the news and basically... lives in all of those small day-to-day ways? Like... why wouldn’t she?

also i doubt she'd accept money knowingly related in anyway to stark, so how did she support herself? or did she not care/know how the avengers were funded & if that's case, how did that work out? 

Well, I don’t think, by the end of the Battle of Novi Grad, Wanda cared enough to hate Stark. She fucked with his head - and she knows this - and now he’s fighting to try to undo what he believes he did. I think, on some level, she can respect that. I also think that, by the Skirmish in Seoul, the twins had given up on their vengeance - if their final attempt at vengeance with powers that finally put them on a level with the Avengers resulted in that, in Ultron and omnicide and “the only thing left in the world... will be metal”, I don’t think they’d care to try again. I think they’d accept they’d fucked up Stark more, they’d made him confront, to some degree, his own arrogance, and now they see him fighting against his own creation... because he knows it is the right thing to do, the only thing to do.

Suddenly being faced with someone you’ve hated from a distance can seriously force you to re-evaluate that hatred. And I think the twins, with the combination of the mess from Ultron and then Stark still fighting against his own creation, I think they’d accept that they’d got as much as they could. Had Pietro lived, I imagine they would have wound up Tony a lot, and been minorly antagonistic towards him, but I think they were settled on the vengeance front.

(If anyone wants to comment about Stark making Vision also being arrogant then I’d say that probably the twins noticed that it was Thor who completed Vision’s creation and he who explained the importance of the stones, and I imagine that overrode much of the perceived influence Stark had on Vision’s creation.)

So. I think Wanda knows that Tony funds the Avengers and I think she decides to accept that, but probably with some conditions. I imagine she demands he look more into the sales of shells such as the ones which killed her parents and trapped her and her brother, and I imagine as well she demands that small, overlooked countries stop being meddled in and fed Starktech weapons - which given Tony stops making weapons and has continued tracking down missold Starktech... I think he’d accept. Especially given this girl’s brother just died. Tony can be arrogant, he can be a prick, he can be purposefully childishly antagonistic... but he does also know when a point has been reached, and I think he’d rather accept a tentative truce with someone who’s going to be a new Avenger than flatly refuse them and cause everyone trouble.

Also: spite. It is a powerful motivator. As I say above I imagine that, if Pietro had lived, the twins would have wound Tony up somewhat, childish teasing and being slightly antagonistic much as Tony can be slightly antagonistic even to his friends. With Pietro gone, I imagine it pleases Wanda slightly to accept Starks money if only so he doesn’t have it.

Further, it’s worth noting that Wanda doesn’t have any way to support herself. To quote Stark in CACW: “Weapons of mass destruction don’t get visas” - Wanda isn’t considered a person, she doesn’t have a visa, or a passport. She probably has some not-entirely official paperwork saying that she’s an enhanced Sokovian citizen working with the Avengers, but she has no visa, no passport. And yes, you can say that undocumented immigrants can and do work, but it’s also worth noting that Wanda gets well known. As I recall there was a thing going around a few years ago talking about how it can become hard for even slightly well-known YouTubers to hold down any job where their face gets seen, because fans start tracking them down or trying to talk to them while they’re on the job - imagine that happening when you’re not a YouTuber, you’re a superhero with legit superpowers. Unless the nearby town is like... entirely well-vetted ex-SHIELD agents and Stark Industries employees I can’t see her getting a job and even if it was I think Wanda would feel more than a little as though they were just doing it to humour her, and I don’t think that would go down well.

I think that covers just about everything? If you have more questions regarding the Maximoffs - or fic prompts - feel free to send them in.