#if i had accepted; it’d honestly be like a 50/50 whether i actually made it to my appointment on time or at all

[fingertipsmp3]

You know what it is. She says the right things, but never does the right things

[variousqueerthings]

Tom Hardy Movies rated least to most queer

I made a list of some Tom Hardy movies and I rated them based on my own, non-specific criteria about what makes a movie queer. Results below the cut.

(Some films not included, because I haven’t watched them yet, because Mr Hardy’s only in them for a few minutes, because the subject matter doesn’t lend itself to this list, or because I just don’t want’em here. TV series also not included. The list is organised into both groups and ratings, because I’m doing The Most.)

Movies are divided into four groups and rated from 0 – 10 on the Queer-Scale, scroll down to the bottom if you want the ratings without the commentary.

Disclaimer: This list is subjective. Don’t come at me because I didn’t rate Inception higher, Nolan himself is as queer as cargo shorts. 

1. This movie would make more sense if it were queer

If this movie were queer it… might not become a perfect film all of a sudden, but it’d make a hell of a lot more sense than what’s actually going on. With an occasional dose of “are the cis-straights okay?”

This Means War (2012): So Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are ostensibly both in love with Reese Witherspoon, but say “I love you” to each other pretty much constantly throughout the movie and their friendship is often presented as a domestic partnership. Cool, cool, cooool.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10. This movie hate-crimed me by having Tom Hardy literally spell out his relationship with Chris Pine, only for the script to then have him say… “can you imagine all that… but with a woman…” Later on the movie explicitly denies polyamory is possible. Fuck this film.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012): Batman movies should always be queer. Mr. Hardy’s the only one who acceptably camps it up, despite Nolan’s best attempts to make him “acceptably gruff.” No matter what you do, Bane is a massive daddy in a mask and thanks to Mr Hardy’s honestly iconic fucking speech pattern in this film, it goes from pretty atrociously straight to just queer enough to imagine a future where Robert Pattinson plays batman and maybe adopts a bunch of kids.

(the only truly decent mask in this franchise tbh)

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. Mr Hardy’s back is the one that’s actually broken carrying any semblance of fun in this overly long movie all on his own.

Lawless (2012): Wow, this really was the year of the not-queer-enough, wasn’t it? Look, it’s “based on a real story,” but it’s also a movie and movies don’t need to stick to the truth, and this one certainly doesn’t. Was the guy queer in real life? I don’t know. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that it’s just kind of an eh movie and maybe being queer would add something to it. One of those “but why make someone queer? because it’s always more interesting to do so,” movies.

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. It’s just not queer. But Tom Hardy wears cardigans and described his character as a “mother figure,” which adds an interesting dynamic to him.

2. Actually Queer but in a homophobic way

Tom Hardy plays a canonically queer character, yaaay. The whole movie contains a strange sense of the director being too not-queer to actually engage with that and everything around him is almost aggressively straight, noooo.

RocknRolla (2008): Honestly this movie has the funniest coming out scene ever + that familiar undertone of “all these manly men secretly want to fuck each other” is only heightened by one of them actually being gay and in love with his best friend. It’s such a fucking… it’s such a movie. Personally I find Mark Strong, Idris Elba, Thandie Newton, and, of course, Tom Hardy to be really hot in it, so that’s a plus. There’s a scene in which Strong’s character teaches another gangster how to do a proper backhand. It’s really gay of him. Also slow-dancing at a gay club. Butler’s character needs to get himself together, you really don’t think 2008 Tom Hardy is hot? Mate.

(left to right: functional queer, disaster queer, distinguished queer)

Queer Rating: 6 out of 10, for having an actual gay character who is played by Tom Hardy doing a sexy phonecall voice to another guy, but then there’s that feeling you can’t shake that the whole movie is vaguely uncomfortable about it, like a family member awkwardly patting you on the shoulder after they found out you were queer second-hand, but they’ve still got 50 years of bias to unlearn. Also Thandie Newton is killed, fuck that noise. 

Legend (2015): If I had a nickle for the amount of times Tom Hardy’s played a gay gangster, I’d have two nickles. Which isn’t a lot, but weird that it happened twice (looks at Peaky Blinders and thinks it ought to be three times). I’ve watched Legend three times and every time it just… loses me. And because this is a biased list, I’ll only specifically mention that it fails to make Ron’s queerness anything but a way for him to shock others. Gangsters could be gay? Gasp! On the upside Tom Hardy has so much sexual tension with everyone in this movie, including himself (why would you do that? Asks Ron, bemused. Because I can’t kill you, no matter how much I fucking want to, hisses a blood-soaked Reggie right into his ear. It’s hot).

Queer rating: 5 out of 10 because the film is just not very queer for a movie with several queer men in it.

3. Straight as a forced family dinner

It’s straight.

Locke (2013): He’s a married man who had an affair and trying to deal with the fallout of it. This isn’t a spoiler for most of the movie, it’s a pretty neat movie where we look at Tom Hardy having a bit of a mental breakdown and taking lots of phonecalls (my personal hell). Is it queer? Not in the slightest.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10 for Hardy’s face being in almost every shot.

The Revenant (2015): Yeah, yeah, DeCaprio’s and Hardy’s characters are obsessed with each other, yeah it’s a man’s world where the only women are dead wife, kidnapped sexually assaulted native princess, or background whore, yeah, they fight each other and there’s a ton of grunting, but also… I just fucking don’t like this movie. The thin line where a storyline like this one becomes queer might be crossed for others, but not for me. Fuck these guys and their stupid  bear fights.

Queer rating: 3 out of 10 for it being about dirty men in the middle of nowhere (but you could just watch Brokeback Mountain or The Lighthouse or God’s Own Country or any Mad Max, or, or, or…)

4. Queer? Queer. Queer? … Queer…

The plots, aesthetics and/or characters played by Tom Hardy lend themselves to a queer reading, even if there is no overt intention towards queerness. Often this is because of a deliberate lack of heterosexual and/or cisgender writing, which in this day and age is still pretty uncommon not to include within a plot.

Inception (2010): Okay, I don’t even need to write about the added “darling,” or the “go to sleep Mr Eames.” I don’t need to go on about the absolutely bonkers amount of fanfiction written for Eames and Arthur, based on a few minutes of film and a boatload of chemistry. It’s queer.

Queer Rating: 7 out of 10, because the actual plot of the film isn’t very queer, but between the Arthur/Eames dynamic and Elliot Page, Nolan was really given a gift he didn’t deserve.

Warrior (2011): Okay, so first off, this might be my favourite Tom Hardy film, at least some part of my brain is fixated on it at almost all times and I’m considering watching it for the third time in two weeks. I don’t only consider it queer based on Mr. Hardy’s character, although he has no romantic or sexual interest and could be read as aroace, but because of the themes, especially those surrounding said character, who is coded as a caregiver to women and through close emotional connections to men. It’s got possibly unintentional deconstructions of masculinity and two men (brothers) who need to forgive each other and can only do so through the catharsis of violence. It speaks to me as a transmasc with several cis brothers, struggling with my own masculinity. It’s not at all written for me, but I find myself all over it. I could talk about this movie forever.

Queer Rating: 8 out of 10. I’m not allowed to say any more or I’ll never stop writing about it. I love you Tommy…

The Drop (2014): Bob’s lack of sexual and/or romantic interest in Naomi is so strange to her that she doesn’t know what he would want from her otherwise. Bob really just wants to raise a dog with her (and also forgiveness for past sins). Bob is such a rare ace and possibly aro coded character, it really throws me every time I watch this film how obvious it is. Bonus points for also being autistic-coded and not in the stereotypical ways.

(Tom Hardy’s most challenging role: pretending he doesn’t know dogs)

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10 because it’s so fucking rare to see ace and aro coded characters that aren’t, you know…. serial killers. Also Tom Hardy adopts a puppy and has a very cute, kinda lispy voice. How often does Tom Hardy play softer men like this?

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015): Very deliberately no sexual or romantic writing included in Max’s and Furiosa’s relationship. Sure, there’s not a lot of time for that in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, but it was also done with a purpose! “It was always going to be two warriors on par, starting off with very little respect for each other and ending up with a massive respect for each other.” - Charlize Theron. “So of course they meet, of course there’s a relationship, an unspoken understanding. A recognition.” - Tom Hardy.

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10. It’s not just the characters, but the world and it’s apocalyptic BDSM leather scene, the questions it asks about sustainability and about people as tools, and the found family. It’s about overcoming violence through multiple kinds of love. And it’s about watching a guy playing flame-thrower guitar. What could be queerer?

Venom (2018): Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same… No, but Eddie is queer. The only question is whether the sequel will acknowledge that aspect or not, but even if not. Even if it manages to straightly bypass the reality of a symbiotic relationship with a genderless? genderfluid? being from another world that is linked to you down to your very cells and understands you more intimately than any other person possibly could… even if all that: Eddie is queer. Venom and Eddie are in a relationship. Any relationship Eddie ever enters into will automatically become a thrupple. He makes out with Venom in the movie! Eddie is queer.

(aw yeah that tongue is going down his throat)

Queer Rating: 9.5 out of 10, because it’s still coded by the creators in the language of bromance (hey, bro, is it gay if we’re physically and emotionally closer than any other people on earth?), but the movie is so, so camp and Mr Hardy’s acting choices are beautiful – the screaming? The lispy soft voice and lack of taking up space? The lobster tank? The only people who don’t know how queer this is are the people making it apparently. Fingers crossed for that sequel!

Hon. mentions:

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002): Star Trek – even at it’s worst (especially at its worst?) – is camp af + Hardy is a straight-up baby in this film.

Bronson (2008): It’s about a real person who’s still alive, so I won’t comment on the actual man. However the film seems to code the character Bronson along an ace line and also has genderqueering Vaudeville. Someone let Tom Hardy do more of whatever was going on in those stage-bits.

(this right here: this the good shit)

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011): Another ensemble piece not massively about Hardy’s character, but it’s a movie that centers around queerness in a strange, depressing way. Tom Hardy’s character isn’t queer. Colin Firth and Mark Strong are though. The book makes me cry.

Peaky Blinders (2013-): Because it’s a TV series I left it out. There’s a lot of straight nonsense going on there, but Alfie Solomens is gay. There’s nothing in the series that disputes that and plenty that lends itself to the reading.

Dunkirk (2017): Tom Hardy plays an RAF pilot in a deep emotional connection with the other main RAF pilot. That’s immediately gay. However he’s not in the movie much because of the way it’s constructed, so I left it off.

Queer Ratings (least to most)

No queer to be found here traveller:

This Means War: 2 out of 10 - illegal movie, Tom Hardy swore he wouldn’t do another rom-com after

Locke: 2 out of 10 - straight Welshman and his straight problems. He pretty though

Lawless: 3 out of 10 - cardigan-Hardy being a mother-hen, but very straight for all that

The Dark Knight Rises: 3 out of 10 - a superhero movie that doesn’t deserve Mr Hardy’s camp talents (unlike Venom)

The Revenant: 3 out of 10 - doesn’t give me what I want out of a movie full of dirty, bearded men

Queer but we deserve more:

Legend: 5 out of 10 - timid homosexuality, considering the source material. 

RocknRolla: 6 out of 10 - hey bro, is it gay if we kill the only female lead in our massive ensemble cast

The queerest of Hardy’s:

Inception: 7 out of 10 - Elliot Page and JGL kissing was an all-around terrible choice that made no sense, we know the truth, Nolan

Warrior: 8 out of 10 - I’m still crying, Edgerton’s crying, Hardy’s crying, we’re all crying, and I think that’s really emotionally healthy and queer of us

Mad Max: Fury Road: 9 out of 10 - non-romantic love in the time of BDSM post-apocalyptic wastelands is something that can actually be so personal

The Drop: 9 out of 10 - “Fucking punk. Go out to dinner dressed like you're still in you living room! You wear those big hippity-hoppity clown shoes! You speak to women terribly! You treat them despicably! You hurt harmless dogs that can't defend themselves! I'm tired of you man. I'm tired of you. You embarrass me!”

Venom: 9.5 out of 10 - Sometimes a relationship is an anxious reporter, the sentient goo inhabiting his body, his kinda-ex-girlfriend and her new doctor boyfriend, and I think that’s beautiful

[lilchibi-chan]

Terushima Yuuji x Female Reader

Art by KittleKrattle

Genre: fluff/smut (a good 50/50 for those who appreciate both) 18+ PLEASE

Warnings: jealous/possessive Terushima, degradation, praising, dirty talk, oral, daddy kink, NSFW.

You are in college and Terushima comes to pick you up from school a couple times a week if he’s not too busy with work in the salon. This week he has decided to take a day off, so that he can surprise you and pick you up from school.

When he reaches your campus, he goes to the building that your last class of the day is in. Your class actually let out early, but he didn’t know because he didn’t want to ruin the surprise by contacting you. He decides to walk around the building and look for you since you posted what you were wearing on your instastory. When he finally finds you, you’re with a group of your friends, three guys and two girls. He noticed one of the boys is a little friendlier with you. Always finding a way to touch you whether it be putting an arm around your shoulders, touching your hair/patting your head, even touching your waist at one point. You were also laughing at some of the boys jokes.

He decided to walk over to where you were because he had had enough of watching this random guy keep touching what was his and you laughing at him. Whatever it was, wasn’t that funny.

You heard footsteps coming down the hall, which caught your attention. Your eyes widen and so does your smile because you are so excited to see Terushima.

“Hey ba-” he cuts you off, cupping your face and kissing you, never cutting eye contact with the guy who had his hands all over you.

“What was that for,” you ask smiling

“Oh, I’m just excited to see you sweetheart. Surprise by the way,” he says looking at you and smiling

“Guys, this is my boyfriend, Terushima,” you say excitedly

Everyone goes around the circle introducing themselves. He shakes the hands of the two girls (Kiyoko and Yumeko), daps and bro hugs two of the guys (Soma and Akaashi), even the one that made laugh (Soma). He saved his anger for the guy that was being very touchy (Itsuki).

Terushima did the same dap and bro hug with him, only this time he wasn’t playing nice.

“Don’t fucking touch my girlfriend again. Next time, you won’t get to keep those hands,” he whispered so that you wouldn’t hear. Terushima pulled away from him smiling like nothing happened and your friend tried to do the same, but you knew something was off.

“You ready to go baby,” he asks you

“We were actually gonna go get food and maybe do karaoke, you’re welcome to come, if that’s okay with you guys.”

All your friends confirmed it was okay and you all went to the karaoke bar which also provided food.

When you all get there, you are escorted to a room by the hostess and you all take your seats on the couch. You were next to Terushima in the corner section of the couch and he put his arm around your waist pulling you closer.

Your two girl friends start off the karaoke and you watch them as they’re having fun. You even join in the singing from your seat, Terushima’s arm still around you, but he’s moved it to your shoulders. He was watching as you had fun and smiled at you. When he looked passed you, he noticed Itsuki staring at you.

He decided to show Itsuki that you belonged to him by kissing you on your neck.

“Baby~,” he says slightly moaning in your ear, causing you to melt into him. You start to become flustered and he turns your face so that you’re looking at him and he pulls you in for a kiss. He decided he wanted to deepen it and you allow him entrance into your mouth.

After you finish, he looks back over at Itsuki who now has a sad look on his face, but strangely acceptance which is what Terushima wanted.

Kiyoko and Yumeko finished their song. At the moment, no one wanted to get up and sing yet, so you all decided to eat and drink, even sharing some stories.

TIME SKIP

You all get ready to leave the karaoke bar and you hug your friends good bye. Terushima watched Itsuki closely as he hugged you, making sure his hands drifted nowhere past where they should’ve been. He would prefer if he didn’t hug you at all, but he didn’t want you mad at him, so he let it slide. He wasn’t happy about it, but he let it slide.

You both walk away from the group and he takes your hand in his, intertwining your fingers

“Sweetheart,” he says gaining your attention

“Yes baby,” you say in response

“About Itsuki, has he ever, ya know made a move on you?”

“Well... he did admit his feelings to me, but I turned him down and told him all about you.”

“That’s interesting because when I came to pick you up today, he had his hands all over you, my love.”

“Y-you saw that,” you ask nervous

“Oh ho ho, I sure did, sweetheart,” he says backing you onto the wall of a building you were passing by,“and when we get to my place, I’m gonna teach you a lesson.”

You feel your face heat up and it feels like your heart is in your throat, you’re so nervous. You look into his eyes and they’re even darker. Filled with lust and jealousy and you knew you were going to feel it later.

You finally make it to his apartment and as soon as you enter he doesn’t even give a chance to take off your shoes before backing you into a wall and putting a hand around your neck.

“I’m gonna teach you that you are mine and nobody but me has the right to put their hands on you,” he growls into your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“Now, go in the bedroom and take your clothes off. If you’re not ready when I get in, the punishment will be much worse,” he says again in your ear.

You take your shoes off and go to his bedroom. You do as he says and take your clothes off. You sit on the bed and wait for him to come in the room. You feel extremely vulnerable, but also slightly curious about what is about to happen.

Terushima finally enters the room, his shirt off and a slightly sinister look in his eyes.

“I don’t remember telling you to sit on the bed sweetheart. Get up,” he says demanding

You do as he says and you stand up. He walks over to where you are and stands over you, taking in your frame. He sits in the spot you once were.

“Come here.”

You walk over and stand in front of him. He opens his legs to make space for you to stand between them.

“Kneel.”

Again you do as he says.

“Now baby, you wanna tell me why that weak bastard had his hands on you,” he says with a hand on your cheek

You stay quiet and he grips your hair in response to you not answering.

“Ya know sweetheart, I’m getting kinda impatient here. You gonna answer my question,” he says getting slightly closer to you

“Yes” you manage to get out

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Good girl. Now go ahead and explain.”

“I honestly don’t know. I’ve told him plenty of times that I have a boyfriend. I don’t know why he was putting his hand on me, but I didn’t enjoy it.”

He puts a hand out for you to grab, so he could help you up.

“Lay on the bed.”

You do as he says, then he takes your hands and ties them together.

“Keep them above your head,” he says demanding

He proceeds to go down your body to your wet cunt.

“You’re enjoying this, huh,” he says, laughter in his voice,“such a good little slut.”

He starts to eat you out and you feel a vibration. You didn’t even know he changed his tongue ring.

‘When did he get a vibrating tongue ring?!’ You think to yourself

He starts slow, first entertaining your clit so that you could get wetter for him. You release small moans from the sensation his tongue is providing.

A few minutes later, he starts penetrating you with his tongue and you can feel the ring sending pulses through your pussy and creating a new sensation for you. One that you are really enjoying. You start to grind your hips into him and he brings his hands down your thighs to hold your hips down. He wanted full control of your body and you were gonna give it to him.

As he feels you get wetter and wetter, his desire for you grows. He starts sucking on your folds, even leaving small bites on your thighs when he takes small breaks in between pleasuring your delicate petals.

He can feel that you’re close to your climax, but he’s not finished with you yet. He abrubtly stops and you look at him.

“What baby~, you thought I was gonna let you have it that easy. No, that’s not how things work around here sweetheart. Now, get on your knees like the good little slut you are. I’ll be right back.”

He leaves and goes to the guest bathroom where he had changed to the vibrating tongue ring. He changed it back to his everyday tongue ring and returned to you, who was kneeling on the bed.

He sauntered his way over to you and started caressing your face, stopping once he reached your lips.

“Such a pretty little mouth. Hmph. Bet it’d look even prettier filled with my dick. I’d even bet money on it. Whaddya say, sweetheart? Dare to prove me right?”

He removes his hard member from his underware and strokes himself a little, making him grow a little.

You were taken aback by your boyfriend’s sadistic manner, but you were very turned on by it and did as he wanted, taking his erection into your mouth.

“Ahhh,” he moans

You start sucking his tip, trying to get used to his size and easing yourself more and more down his length the more you wet his dick.

“Ahhhhh,” he moans again,“I was right, you do look even prettier with your mouth full of dick. Really not a terrible sight,” he says smiling

He starts guiding your head, filling you mouth deeper and deeper, until saliva was dripping from your mouth. He made you go faster, taking in the pleasure as he pumped into your mouth.

“Ahhh fuck, baby~. Your mouth feels so FUCKING good and I’m glad it’s only mine to use how I feel like.”

You moan in response since you can’t really talk.

He looked down at you and saw that your eyes were focused on his dick.

“Look at me. Look at me. I wanna see that dirty expression of yours.”

You look at him and a smile grows on his face.

“Good little slut. That’s fuckin right. Look at me.”

A few more minutes go by and he decides he’s ready to finally feel your sex.

He pulls out from your mouth and tells you to lay down again. This time he joins you on the bed. He slides you legs up and goes between them, entering you.

“Fuck~, you’re so wet. Ahhhhh”

He starts thrusting into you. Long,slow, deep strokes. He wanted the anticipation to grow until you couldn’t take it anymore.

“C’mon baby~, I wanna hear you. Don’t be shy. You’re my good little slut right, so let me hear you. Let out those sensual noises.”

You decide to let out the moans you’ve been trying so hard to keep inside. This makes him go faster as the sounds you’re making are music to his ears. He still hitting as hard as he was before, but still controlled and even deeper. He grips your thighs, pulling you closer to him.

“Nobody gets to touch you, but me. Fuck, if they even try, I swear I’ll end them,” he say pumping into

Hearing him say that was hot and brought you closer to your climax.

“Who’s pussy is this,” he asks you

“Yours, daddy”

“Who does your body belong to?”

“You, daddy”

“That’s fuckin right and don’t you forget it, sweetheart. Your my little whore, my little slut. Mine baby. All mine.”

He starts speeding up, as he’s close to his climax.

“Ahhhh fuck..fuck..fuck...AHHHH.”

He pulls out, letting his warm cum drip onto your breasts. You soaked it all up, loving the feeling of him releasing the thick white liquid onto your body.

He got a towel and cleaned you up. After you were clean, he got into bed with you and untied your hands. He kissed your wrists, the palms of your hands and your fingers. He helped get comfortable under the covers and wrapped you in his arms.

“You were so good for me, baby.”

He kissed your forehead, then your cheek. He turned your head so you were facing him. He cupped your face with both of his hands and he kissed your lips hard, but full of love.

“I’m so proud of you,” he says pressing his forehead to yours

“Just rest now,” he holds you closer and starts humming a tune to help you fall asleep

I hope y’all enjoyed this ☺️

[escritorian]

How to (not) be an Adventurer by Althea Dawnwind Chapter 2 - Role models

All right, so I figure if he’s going to hear all this the first time around, anyway, I may as well keep recording.  Or...asking him to transcribe, I guess.  We talked about it.

While I take no offence to your choice of pronouns, I feel I should remind you I have no gender.

Gotcha.  Sorry.

No need to apologize.

Thanks.  Still sorry.  Wait, so is all this side commentary getting transcribed, too?

Yes.

Lovely.  Perfect.  All right, whatever.  Let’s go.

So there are a bunch of new people at the house.  Most of them are super cool, but one of them’s a total creeper.

Predictably, Julia’s hot into the creeper. (Ugh, her taste) But whatever.  Her romantic graveyard.  Let her dig it.  Besides, I’m sure Galen would never let this guy actually hurt Julia. (If he could actually hurt Julia).  It does make me wonder about why he lets this skeezeball travel with him, though.  I mean, I guess he’s not always the most perceptive, but-

Whatever.  I’m getting off topic.

Can journals be said to have an incorrect topic, properly?

Shush.  Anyway, they were all just here, suddenly, talking about the pact and my plague and my future. I wanted to scream, but I was just so tired and scared. I think I’d have accepted anything that gave me hope at that point.  

Okay. No. Wait. Not anything. They were saying in some alternate past (?), they thought I was about to make a pact with some god of entropy? And honestly, that just sounds bad all around. Like sure, okay, I was pretty sure mine wasn’t one of those cases of spell plague you live through, you know? But some things are just worse than death.

Honestly, I was- am really offended that they thought so little of me. Okay not “they,” really. I barely even know most of them, but Galen…I really though at least he’d have some respect for my integrity. I thought maybe he could see me as more than just the little sister who needs protecting and can’t be trusted to make her own decisions I only even made this pact because everyone seemed so sure it was my best shot. And I- I mean, I wanted to live. Guilty, okay? Who doesn’t?

I felt the same, Althea

Yeah. So… yeah.

It is not wrong to wish or fight for life.

Thanks, Sha- uh, do you have like, a nickname I can use or anything?

Shadhavar is the only name I have ever known.

Wow, that’s…kind of sad. For the record, you can call me Thea. It’s what everyone in the family calls me.

I thank you, Thea.

Ha. Ummm. I was about to say I was smiling, you know, to transcribe it? The idea? Feeling? But, what is it, really? Can you even smile here?

There is no physical form or structure here to demarcate itself into what you call a smile.  The underlying ideas and feelings that cause the smile, however, can be recorded.

Oh. Cool. I mean, no really. Seriously. Cool.  Anyway, what was I saying?

Is this question rhetorical?

Um, yes? I mean it was, but you can- you know.

Those who found me presented you the possibility of a pact.

Yeah, that’s pretty much it, and I said yes.

Do you regret having done so?

Pfff, no. I’m not going to pretend I understand the full implications of having formed a soul bond with an ancient, sentient sword-bridge-focus thing born from both the feywild and the shadowfell? But it’s for serious better than the alternative. I can say that with total confidence right now.

Anyway, most of Galen’s new friends seemed like they really cared for me despite having just met me. It was weird, but also kind of nice? Oh! And Galen’s girlfriend. (!)  Apparently she left after everyone else but flew here the whole way to catch up!

Bad.

Ass.

And they all helped him defeat a death priest (or something) who was after me. I mean, okay. Julia helped. That…doesn’t count for nothing, I guess. I know mom and Nicon have trained her a lot and she’s freelanced a bit without telling mom. But now I have this whole group that seems like they’re sticking around for a bit? And maybe giving me some lessons?

This. Is going. To rule.

I also intend to provide you with instruction regardless of anyone else’s actions.

Really?!

Yes.

That’s…Ioun’s Wisdom, I don’t even know what to say! This is…am I going to cry? Fuck. No. I’m not going to start crying in here. Quick. Help me out.

Focus your mind on a task. You’ve mentioned these friends of your brother, but only just. Describe them.

Y-yeah. *sniff* Okay, yeah.

Breathe deeply and slowly.

Nono, I’m okay. It’s okay. Thanks. I’ve got this. Okay, strong feelings first. Let’s start with that creeper.

So, Creeper Creepzoidington is basically like a broody shadow who shoots everyone dirty looks, and I don’t say he’s a shadow because he’s drow.  Like, that’d be rude and also really inaccurate.  I say it cause this guy loves shadows.  Like, he loooves them - practically lives in them. They’re his home and they keep him safe and warm. Nicon says he’s already stolen from them, and I think the only time I’ve heard him talk was to swear. So yeah, whatever his deal is, I am not training with him.

Then there’s this other drow, Phaedra. I mean, I only point out they’re drow because they’re supposed to be really rare.  Surface elves are, too, but not as much? And I think I’ve only ever seen one of them. And now? Bam. 3 drow. More than I thought I’d ever met in my life, and everyone’s reaction has pretty much been, “Oh, hm! What a perfectly normal occurrence!”  It's just a little bit surprising.

Anyway, Phaedra, she’s about as different from Slimeus Slimeballius as you can get. She’s really elegant and nice. She came by later that night to see how I was doing. I didn’t feel much like talking, so…um…I didn’t, but she was really calm and polite about it. I could tell she knew I wasn’t really fine, but she didn’t press it. She just…did her best to be reassuring then left me alone. I kind of didn’t want her to go, but I appreciate that she did.

And how she moves! I mean, okay, so that probably sounds weird, but you should see her! She’s like floating silk or flowing water. She doesn’t even seem human, sometimes. Well, I mean, she’s not human, but you know what I mean.  She’s just ridiculously graceful, like she’s dancing in slow motion all the time, and my brain wants to learn the secret to it so much it can’t look away. So yeah, her I would totally train with.

Then there’s this younger drow, Tsabura.  (Tsubara?  Someone keeps messing up her name, and it’s really throwing me off.)  I thought she might’ve been be their kid or something, but even without speaking the language, I picked up that was not the case real quick.  She’s super cute but really quiet, and – I mean, I don’t know if the same standards culturally apply (nor am I sure whether or not it’s rude to consider that) - she has such nice skin.  She seriously just glows. Her skin is literally, physically lustrous.  But she’s just so angry.  Like, all the time.  Also?  Really sad.  I hope we can be friends.  I guess that’s a bit random, but it’d be great to have someone to relate to on a different level while on the road (more on that later), and maybe having a friend will help her not be so sad and angry.

It's weird, though. Like, no one’s saying anything about her, but she doesn’t seem like she’s been taking lessons from anyone, and she was pretty much dressed in rags? Mom tried to give her some of my old clothes, but that didn’t go so well. Maybe that’s why she’s in rags. Or maybe it’s a religious thing? Either way, I should probably stop calling them rags. When I tried talking to her, she barely even looked at me.  Honestly, I’m not sure I didn’t just imagine the brief glances she did give me, either.  I just...I want to know why she’s deliberately making herself so distant.  It’s like a mystery my brain needs to solve.

Moving on, there’s this really cheerful gnome named Tielka.  She’s...interesting.  She’s covered in armor and has a sword that drips frost but somehow seems super approachable?  Paradoxically, that makes me kind of nervous to approach her.  She also sounded really smart.  So I guess she’s...what?  A friendly warrior scholar?  I don’t know.  I mean, the image I’d always had of paladins is super stiff and serious, all thees and thous, but this?  It’s a weird vibe.  I mean, she looks like she’s 20, but she’s got this really motherly aura making me unsure if I want to befriend her or make sure she doesn’t catch me at mischief, so she’s got that, “inspiring the best behavior in others” thing down, I guess.

She’s also got a huge dog named Axle with the best leg.  I mean, omigosh, okay.  So his natural leg would’ve been the best leg, of course, but out of potential replacements?  This thing is, literally, divine.  Like, it’s full of clockwork, but it makes almost 0 noise, and it moves with him.  It doesn’t just sit there.  I really want to know how it works.  I mean, I’m guessing the answer will be something like 50% divinity, 40% magic and 10% mechanics, but still.

And then there’s Max.  I’m getting to her last, but she’s easily the biggest personality of the group.  (As befits a bard.)  She’s pretty much the polar opposite of Broody Broodfacerson.  She’s super friendly. She’s always smiling the brightest smile.  She has a siren’s voice and sings all the time.  She has a whole troop of animals who follow her around, all of whom I’m pretty sure she actually talks to.  (I think they’re all named Annie for some reason?)  And she’s so pretty.  Seriously, everything she does is extra charming.  There’s just something about how she moves, how she talks.  Just like, everything she does is so captivating.  There must be some lesson on mannerisms in bard college that teaches you how to keep people’s eyes on you cause there are like hooks on her gestures that grab the brain and don’t let go.  Basically, what I’m saying is she definitely made the right career choice.  Honestly, I wish she were a little quieter, but, well, no one can have everything, you know?

sighs

“You know.”  I have to stop that.

This is your fifth time using that phrase in this entry.

Fuuuck, really?!

Yes. Would you like me to alert you when you use it?

Nooo. I mean- auuugh, Vecna blind it! Yes. Yes, please do.

Very well.

Thanks.  Anyway, moving on...actually, I think that’s about it.

Oh!  And Galen.  But you know about Galen.  Well, I know about Galen, but will you, hypothetical/theoretical mystery future person, know about Galen?  I guess I should talk about Galen.  I mean, honestly, though, it feels like it’s enough to say he’s the best oldest brother anyone could want. Aforementioned rudeness aside, that is.  He’s just, I mean, he’s always giving me his time and teaching me the most interesting things, and he’s smart enough The Academy was too slow for him.  So he just, you know, decided to go adventuring and-

That’s six times.

What?

That you’ve used the phrase, “you know.”

Ugggghhhh.  All right, you know what?  My brain’s clearly tired.  He’s great, and I might end up going adventuring with him, which would be the best.  The end.

…

Sooo, how do I stop...

You can do so in the same manner as you did last time.

Yeah, I’m not really sure what I did last time.

You need simply to “feel” your intent to stop.

Okay, so kind of like-

[seokjinchuriki]

Hit Deep | knj

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Word Count: 1652

Genre: not sure what it’d be categorized as-

Summary: you can’t shake the feeling of loneliness and namjoon is there to try to help

Warnings: hitting rockbottom

a/n: honestly i’m going through something similar to this and it’s helping me to write it out, so the ending is stoopid

Hit Deep Cherry Blossom

—

When you hit rockbottom, life feels like it's reached its end. For you, yeah, it feels as such, the pains of your life taking over in the most unexpected ways.  College should've given you more freedom than the life you lived with your parents, who, at this point, have a six month old baby. For a small portion of your life, that baby was your responsibility, almost as if she was your own. It wouldn't have been too surprising, you've reached an age where the possibility of pregnancy is prominent, especially since this is where you're most reckless.

You'd think the responsibility of taking care of other people would go away, but it has yet to. You have your roommate, who you once called your best friend, who requires constant care and coddling. You say once called your best friend because, right now, you feel more like her mother more than anything else.

You don't know who you are anymore.

And that's the most scary part.

You sat in the library, rubbing your face, you were stressed to say the least. It was midterm season and every class you took made you feel as though you were losing the sanity you had.

It was like the world finally found the one person they can beat up, without consequences, and that person was you. Sitting here, feeling like you might cry from the amount of built up emotions in your system.

When you feel like you've taken the part of someone's mom, especially someone whose emotions are harder to keep at bay, you lose the ability to share your own and you're stuck being like an closed jar, unable to open up and it's hard, it's hard to breakdown when nobody can see it. Not even the people you hold closest to you because if they did, your strong façade would break and everything you worked so hard for would disappear.

Before you could continue to think, you heard a chair shuffle around you, the sound of someone placing their backpack on the table.

"Hi, is this seat taken?" asked a surprisingly calm voice, one that caught your attention immediately.

"Huh? Oh, no... you can sit here, if you uh- would like to." You say, your voice betraying you a bit, the man who stood behind the chair beside you was breathtaking and the fact that he chose to sit beside you when there were so many other seats beside many other more interesting people was beyond you.

He gave you a smile, sitting down in the seat he had already pulled out.

"I'm Namjoon, and you are?" he greeted you, for some reason, catching you by surprise.

"I'm (y/n.)" you greeted back, he nodded, opening up the book he pulled out of his bag and placed it onto the table.

You both sat in silence for a while, you debating whether or not you wanted to make small talk, him randomly highlighting sentences in his textbook.

He was gonna regret not actually reading, but he really wanted to talk to you. He's seen you around and vise versa, but you never seem to pay attention to him, always deep in thought, you looked so tired, but despite that, you were breathtaking. You had a story to tell him with your eyes, to tell anyone with your eyes.

Okay, Namjoon, just talk to her, he said to himself and he did. Following his own advice.

"So... what's your major?" he asked, and you were shaken out of your homework-induced trance.

"I uh- I'm a biochem major," you let out, rubbing your tired eyes, either you were sleeping with your eyes open or just really, REALLY focused on your work. It was the former, but not that you'd let a complete stranger know that, "what about you?"

"Philosophy major, very exciting!" the sarcasm in his voice was prominent and it made you chuckle, "I bet chemistry is way more exciting, you must be really smart!"

"Pfft, me? Smart? You're very funny, Namjoon. I can agree that chemistry is a bit more exciting, I remember I went with a friend of mine to meet up with his philosophy professor to gain more information," you paused to take a breather, talking to long is exhausting, "and man... his professor kept glancing at me and finally, he brought me into the conversation and I did not understand anything he was saying. You're the smart one here."

"Yeah... You're talking about Professor Min, wait... there's a lot of Min's here, Professor Min Joohyeon, right?" Namjoon asked.

You nodded, "the man knew I wasn't into philosophy! You can see it in my cold eyes."

For some reason, talking to Namjoon was so easy and that's how your friendship started.

—

It has only been a few months since you met Namjoon, but you were both attached by the hip already, he was a great friend. In a way, he replaced the void your best friend left when she started treating you like you were her mom and it was refreshing. He was refreshing.

He didn't expect you to do things for him. He didn't discourage you when you wanted to try new things. He was a breath of fresh air in your world of pollution.

"That's crazy, (y/n)! You have to accept! You have to join in on the research!" Namjoon exclaimed excitedly, you had just told him that your chem professor had offered you to join in on some research and you might end up getting published, you were really excited, but your best friend discouraged you on it, saying that you wouldn't have time to do anything, or more specifically have time to take care of her.

Here Namjoon was, telling you to go on and do the things you dreamed of doing, but he was also giving you advice, telling you it was your choice and that if you knew you could do it and wanted to do it, go for it!

"You can't let people tell you what to do, especially when it's your life, my friend. It would be a shame not to take these opportunities." Namjoon was right. You do need to take these opportunities. You do need to do the things you want.

And so you did, you told your professor you did want to join in on the research project.

—

You were happy, you weren't as stressed as everyone said you'd be. Maybe just a bit stressed, a little hard to manage, but you weren't dying in work like you thought you would be.

You were thriving.

Today, however, you were not. You sat on the bed of your dorm, typing away at your computer, until your roommate comes in, immediately complaining about her day. Just yesterday, the both of you had went to dinner, she decided that night would be the night to pay, and you were ecstatic because you were usually the one paying, but you weren't happy that long.

She complained. She complained about the $50 meal. When you were around busting your ass off and paying for $100 groceries without any complaint. You drove her around. You paid for most of the groceries in the dorm. You basically wrote her essays for her. You bought her food. You let her vent her feelings and gave her advice, which she didn't listen to... at all. She wasn't very supportive of anything you wanted to do, when you were completely supportive of her.

You were always there for her, and what about her for you? Maybe she believes she's there, but she's honestly draining you, draining you more than she said the research would.

You were tired.

She complained about everything and anything that happened, about the boy she talked to, who she knows is going through a hard time, hasn't texted her back. About things you constantly give her advice for.

"Soomin, I was waiting for you to come home to make sure that you knew there's food in the fridge, I'm gonna go study at the library. See you later?" You said quietly, a smile on your face as you packed up your laptop. She said a thank you, nodding her head, and plopped down onto her bed.

You said a tiny goodbye and left, making sure you had your room key and ID so you could get back into the building once you were done.

You were meeting the lovely Kim Namjoon, and actually not to study this time! Just to talk and enjoy coffee.

—

Everything about the little cafe you both sat in was beautiful, from the way the lights hung and the way everything was set up. You were beautiful too, which Namjoon thought, with how relaxed you sat in front of him. You were usually always so tense, but not right, not when you're with him.

Your eyes, however, betrayed your body.

Deep down, no matter what, the loneliness never seemed to go away.

It was like you were drowning, in a pool of all your doubts and worries, but there was never one thing you could just... place. You couldn't shake the feeling away and Namjoon knew that.

The world tends to turn its back on people, even the people who don't deserve it, especially you. The girl who spent her life taking care of other people and not taking care of yourself.

You weren't together yet, but Namjoon knew he had to take care of you. You deserve it. You deserve every ounce of love and appreciation and while he can't do it as a lover, for now, he can do it as your friend.

Namjoon was determined to erase the loneliness from your eyes, even if it takes a long time.

While the scariest part is that you don't know who you are anymore, when you hit rockbottom, the only way you can go is up.

—

a/n: this is kind of stupid?? i dunno

[thedaughterofkings]

Writer asks!

Rules: answer these questions and tag five other fic writers to do the same

Tagged by @clotpolesonly, thank you!

Author Name: thedaughterofkings (Lessa)

Fandoms You Write For: Mainly Teen Wolf, there mainly Sterek (with the occasional offering of Stoyd, Stackson and Stisaac, plus some miscellaneous prompted pairings), also some Merthur, and I’ve lately had several Drarry urges, which really takes you back! I’ve also written for SPN, and for Star Trek, and there’s some unpublished LOTR fic, but really, mostly my brain is all Sterek^^

Where You Post: here on tumblr (fics to be found on this page and under this tag) and over on AO3 Most Popular One-Shot: On tumblr: Favours, interestingly enough! It has overtaken Of dogs and deer darcy which I thought for sure would be the top! Both of them are Sterek, Favours involves some werewolf speed dating and Of dogs and deer darcy soulmate shenanigans!^^ Also, scrolling through my fic tag with an eye on the notes is very depressing - the 1k notes of Favours are wayyyyyy the outlier, like, most fics have somewhere between 10 and 50 notes outlier On AO3: by hits, comment threads, bookmarks and subscriptions: Homebound, which I’m again surprised by, but very happy about because I still love that fic a lot! It’s a sort of fix it Merthur, a little angsty and painful, but with a lot of healing and happy endings, I promise! by kudos: Here we finally have Of dogs and deer darcy in its rightful place^^ (It was my most popular fic across all platforms and categories for ages!) I think this was the first soulmate fic I wrote and it’s just cute and fluffy and funny and I do still love it! And I haven’t grown tired of soulmate AUs yet^^

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: This isn’t hard because I haven’t split many fics into separate chapters, so here the unopposed winner is Fully grown, and a well deserved one, too! My longest finished fic to date, another soulmate AU, just an all around favourite apparently - certainly one of mine! And yes, that sequel will appear eventually, just not yet (and no worries, the fic is complete in and of itself, I just have more thoughts and feelings^^).

Favourite Story You Wrote: Now that’s just mean!  Any of the fic mentioned above are definitely favourites, but they do get some love already obviously, so I’ll mention two here that I think deserve more love and attention: On AO3 the only lonely boy in New York, a musician Sterek AU with pining and misunderstandings and angst and aaahhh!!! Also there be love songs and dramatic love confessions and really, what’s not there to love! Get on it, people! On tumblr Rose and thorn, because I’m always a sucker for fairy tale retellings (and will not stop with them) and I really like how this one turned out! (Also, it’s super close to triple digit notes which is very exciting, so go read and share^^)

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Posting is always nervewracking for me, because you never know how it will be received - most of the time it seems not to be received at all, which is quite disheartening in and of itself! I can’t remember worrying about negative reactions to any fic so far; there are fics hidden away in my folders that I’d fear could get a negative reaction, and well, there’s a reason those haven’t seen the light of day so far. Overall, for me the anxiety over whether anyone is even going to read my stuff and if they do, whether they are going to leave any reaction, is the worst thing about posting fic, and of course that gets worse the longer you’ve worked on something, so Fully grown was one of the badder ones in that respect.

How Do You Pick Your Titles: I cry and pray a lot. Sometimes I’ll come up with something sort of like a title right at the start and that just sticks (like Fully grown for example), but most of the time, it’ll be one of the last things and I absolutely suck at finding titles! Though summaries are way worse still, and tags are a nightmare of a different kind again^^° Those finishing touches really are hard!

Do You Outline: Sometimes. Rarely very in depth, mostly I’ll just know what I’m working towards and will keep that in mind while writing. For the longer fics I’ll sometimes have a sequence of scenes to work towards instead of just one final outcome, but so far I haven’t had a full scene by scene outline, nevermind something that blocks characters’ movements in a room or something like that!^^ So I guess the answer is sort of no :p

How Many Of Your Stories Are Complete: I have exactly one properly unfinished story posted and I feel TERRIBLE about it, so fic only gets published if it’s finished/can stand on its own now. That means it takes way longer for it to be published, but that’s just how it has to be for my own peace of mind^^ I do miss the potential interaction with readers when publishing something multi chaptered while it’s being written, though, and it’s also a very lonely process without really any feedback (apart from throwing poor Larissa occasionally at my unfinished messes), so I certainly don’t want to claim it’s the best way to do things!

In-Progress: Depends on what you mean by that - wip that are published: that’s just the one we don’t talk about :p wip that are being worked on behind the scenes - there I always have three to seven, even if I’m usually only working on one at a time :p Currently there’s a Drarry fic, two Sterek fics for Sterekweek which I REALLY need get to, several more Sterek fics, one Stoyd and one Stackson. But then again if you mean, touched in the last month, there’s probably not a single fic, and touched in the last half year would only give me three or so - my writing mojo is definitely off at war this year *sighs*

Coming Soon: Hopefully seven Sterekweek fics! :D Also, the one Drarry, but that will probably be shoved to after Sterekweek, because STEREKWEEK!!!!

Do You Accept Prompts: Theoretically yes, but I should warn you that I’ve been absolutely horrid at actually filling them over the last couple of ... years really^^° But you can always try your luck!

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For: I’m honestly feeling a little discouraged with writing right now (and also, I have a headache right at this moment which makes excitement feel a little unreachable), so this question is harder than it should be, sadly! I think the Sterek ‘the Proposal’ AU I’m hoping to finish for Sterekweek should be really fun when I get it done and I’ve had some new ideas for the Stackson one, the first sequel to Pigtails, so that made me more excited for that one again! My brain cannot remember who is or is not a writer right now, so I’ll tag any writer who sees this and wants to do it! (Also, please hit me up and let me know if you are a writer who likes to do these things because I’m always struggling to come up with people to tag and it’d be absolutely wonderful to have a list to fall back on and know people are actually interested in doing this!!!)

[modestmuses-a]

5, 6, 11, 18, 21, 23, 26, 30, 34, 35, 43, 50 - ekko

//CAS I ALREADY DON’T SHUT UP ABOUT THIS BOY AS IT IS.  WHY WOULD YOU ENCOURAGE ME AND SUBJECT MY FOLLOWERS TO THIS??  i’m gonna have to fuckin readmore this for length because Christ…

Unusual Headcanons | accepting

5. How many blankets / pillows do they like to have on their bed?

One of each.  When it’s exceptionally warm out, you can nix the blanket.  Although, “blanket” is kind of a strong word for it.  It’s really more of a threadbare rag at this point.  When it gets cold out, he does think, “Hm, I better replace this,” but then he immediately forgets about it upon waking up and getting on with his day.

6. What do they normally dream about?  Nightmares or nonsense?

Thanks to time travel fucking with his circadian rhythm, it’s very rare for Ekko to get any more than three or four hours of sleep at a time.  More on that here.

But his terrible non-existent sleeping patterns, coupled with a whole host of repressed negative emotions that he hasn’t properly worked through because he doesn’t want to burden anyone with his problems, mean his nightmares are frequent and severe.  Usually of the ridiculously gory variety.  His nightmares typically end with him dying in some over-the-top, Final-Destination-esque way.

(Speaking of, my favorite death from those movies is from the third one, where the girl stumbles backwards into a nail gun and takes several nails through the back of her skull right out the front of her face.)

If you were to watch them, like, as a horror movie, some of them might be laughable.  (If you’re into that sort of thing.)  And indeed, he does try to laugh some of them off, although whether it’s genuine laughter or him trying to put on a brave face and again refusing to acknowledge that he’s got Issues is up for debate.

11. Bar soap or liquid?  Do they like loofahs?

Bar soap.  No loofahs.

18. Do they prefer cats or dogs?  Or neither?

Ekko doesn’t really have a preference!  He’ll drop scraps down to stray animals when he has the scraps to spare, and he’s made a number of furry friends of both species this way.  Sometimes, you’ll just see random animals tailing him as he walks through the city, ‘cause they’re hoping to get more food out of him.  He feels guilty when he doesn’t have anything to give them.

21. Did they have any fears growing up that they’ve since conquered?

Ekko used to be afraid of trees when he was younger and would always hold his breath when he walked by the cultivair.  This is because he heard a story about a man who accidentally inhaled a tree seed and ended up growing a tree in his lung.  He now knows that it’s ridiculous to be afraid of trees for that reason since the odds of it happening to him are infinitesimally small, but he’ll still tell people the story of Ol’ Tree Lung whenever they pass the cultivair, regardless of how many times his present company has heard it before.  Most of his friends are sick to death of Ol’ Tree Lung by now.

23. How do they show fear?  Sweating, shaking, blankness, anger, etc?

Ekko shakes something fierce when he gets scared.  He also starts stammering and messing up sentences on account of his brain working much faster than his mouth.  He’ll start a sentence and not finish it.  Tries to restart the sentence slightly different this time and doesn’t finish that one either.  Starts a sentence, cuts it off, starts a different sentence about a completely different thought, loses track of that one, too.

desperately tries not to cry

26. What are they most passionate about?  What could they debate about for hours?

Ekko is passionate about… eating the rich.  When are we bringing back the guillotine again?? kfhdgkdf

No, but seriously, Ekko is pretty adamant about “Capitalism sucks” and believes that the best use of wealth is providing for those less fortunate than you.  He doesn’t have a lot, but he’s always using what he does have to help the Lost Children and his parents first and himself second.  He sees people living these lives of luxury, and it makes him sick ‘cause he’s just like… *gestures @ starving orphans* “Y’all wanna like… maybe do something about this sometime?”

He believes that no one should have that much money for any reason because they should be putting it towards making society a better place instead of just… sitting on it.  There is a reason I associate Billy Talent with him (and why “Man Alive!” is his main verse tag) and it’s because they have a lot of songs that just absolutely shit all over capitalism.  I made a playlist for Ekko, and the first four songs on it are Billy Talent criticizing capitalism for the flawed, soul-sucking system that it is.  (Three of the four are from the Dead Silence album.)

Anyway, Billy Talent tangent aside since I can’t control myself…

On April Fool’s, there were a couple IC posts of rich characters saying, “Rich people don’t have rights!” but then claiming to be exceptions to the rule.  Like, one of them said, “I have rights ‘cause I didn’t choose to be rich.  I was just born into a rich family.”

And let me tell you, I had to physically restrain Ekko ‘cause he was p i s s e d.  He was in time-out that day, haha!  “Oh, I’m so sorry, it must be so hard for you to have been born into a life of privilege,” he fumes to himself in the little corner I’ve trapped him in.  “NONE OF YOU ARE EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE!  NONE OF YOU HAVE RIGHTS!  AND WHEN THE REVOLUTION COMES, YOU’RE GOING TO THE GUILLOTINE WITH THE REST OF ‘EM!”

Me, desperately trying to calm him down like, “No, no, shh, look at the date!  It’s probably just a joke!”

He’s like, “IT FUCKING BETTER BE.”

Tl;dr: Nothing gets Ekko riled quite like rich people being shitty and annoying.

I was also going to mention that Ekko’s passionate about maintaining hope and will argue the importance of not giving up and not letting bad situations turn you into a bad person, but this answer is already hella long, so here’s a brief passing mention of it lmao

30. Is there something about their personality they want to change?

Ekko is… angry deep down.  Or maybe not even so deep down.  Maybe right there, just under his skin.  And he wishes he wasn’t.

He often questions his own goodness, wondering if he’s not just Fake Nice to conceal the wretched thing he actually is.  If you skim the top layer of sweetness off of him, you’re left with this horrid, bitter, hateful little beast.  Or that’s what he thinks sometimes, anyway.

Whether it’s justified or it isn’t, anger is such an ugly emotion, and he’s worried it’s going to cause him to hurt someone he cares about someday.

I often worry about my portrayal of Ekko and how damn inconsistent it is sometimes ‘cause in one thread, he’s this sweet helpful angel who wants to do his best, and in another thread, he’s more bitter than the blackest coffee, but like.  This be why.  He’s a good person.  Just deep down, he’s angry about A Lot, but even deeper down, he’s an even better person.  He feels like his anger is the thing standing between him and being the best person he can be, and he wishes he could get rid of it, but alas, it seems to be stuck to him.

I mean, maybe it wouldn’t be if he ever bothered to resolve any of his Issues, but y’know.  Helping others comes first, so :’)  He’ll worry about helping himself when he’s dead.

34. Are they the jealous type?  What are they most likely to be jealous of?

Hmm, I wouldn’t say Ekko is much of the jealous type, no.  Like, his anger towards rich folks isn’t because he’s jealous of their lifestyle or wants what they have.  It’s because he wants them to be decent fucking people for once.  It doesn’t make sense to a lot of people, but he’s content stomping around in the gutters.  He does wish things were easier on his parents, but he can’t complain about the life of freedom he’s been allowed to lead up to this point.

He doesn’t really get jealous of other people’s relationships either.  Like, I mentioned in a reply to Draven that in the Academy verse, Ekko has a crush on Ahri.  (But only in the Academy verse.)  But like, he doesn’t really get jealous when she dates other guys.  In fact, he expects it.  He hasn’t said anything about his crush on Ahri (although it’s probably a bit obvious), and he’s never going to because he doesn’t expect anything to come of it.  He lowkey doesn’t want anything to come of it because he feels like it’ll just make the dynamics in their friend group weird.  So, really, he’s got no problem with her dating whoever she wants.

35. Are they possessive over their things?  Or over other people?  Both?

The only thing Ekko is especially possessive of is the Zero Drive, for obvious reasons.  It’d be just… the worst to have that fall into the wrong hands.  Time travel is a huge responsibility, Ekko says as he abuses the shit out of it to skip class and get infinite Halloween candy.  Can you imagine what would happen if any of the shadier characters in LoL had the ability to time travel??

He isn’t particularly possessive over the rest of his things, though, and he’ll frequently give stuff up to people he feels could use it more.

As for people… I wouldn’t call him possessive, so much as protective.  He might seem a bit possessive of his friends at times, but it’s only because he’s trying to keep them out of trouble.  Whenever he tells people, “I don’t want you hanging out with so-and-so,” it’s not because he’s being possessive, it’s because so-and-so has Bad Vibes written all over them.

In the modern/K/DA verse, he’s friends with Akali before she gets famous.  She ran away from the dojo and lived on the streets for a while, and it was there that she met Ekko, and honestly, he probably did a lot more than he realizes to keep her out of trouble.  Who knows what kind of bullshit her dumb ass would have gotten into if she hadn’t been trying to set as good of an example for Ekko as she could?

Anyway, modern verse Ekko despises modern verse Shen.  Akali gets back in touch with Shen, and Ekko is extremely vocal about how terrible he finds this whole idea.

And it’s not that he’s possessive of Akali.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  When she needed to leave him to join K/DA, he let her go ‘cause he understood that was her big dream and it wouldn’t have been fair to keep her there.  She was destined for better things, and he wanted to see her get off the streets.

But it’s just that… he’s heard stories about the way she was treated at the dojo, so when she tells him she got back in touch with Shen, he gets pissed and tells her that she can’t expect him to support her ripping open old wounds.  He’s just scared that Shen’s going to hurt her again, so when she tries to introduce the two of them to each other, Ekko’s cold towards Shen at best and openly hostile towards him at worst.  He might be inclined to strangle the guy if Akali didn’t have herself situated between them in a somewhat fruitless effort to ease the tension.

43. Do they like living alone or with another person / other people?

Ahaha, Ekko is a huge people-person, actually!  I think he’d just die if he had to live alone.  A big reason he spends so much time away from home and out on the streets is because his parents are never home, and the house feels too empty without them.  He’ll roll back home in the evening, when his parents are getting off work, to enjoy their company for a bit before they both pass out, but unless somebody else is there, he doesn’t want to be either.

If he had to live alone, there wouldn’t be any point in him having a house or anything ‘cause he’d literally never stay there.  He’d always be out chasing adventure and other people’s company.

50. Where do they see themselves in 2 / 5 / 10 years?

God, this is hard because the thing is that Ekko is terrible at making plans for the future, especially long-term plans.  Thinking about the future causes him major stress, especially when he thinks of possibilities that might involve him relinquishing some of his freedom, which is a lot.  Like, he has no desire to go to school or join the workforce - at least not in any sort of traditional way - or any of that, and the fact that he’s not going to be 16 forever is just something that he prefers not to think about!

Anyway, let’s take a crack at it, nonetheless…

In two years, Ekko hopes to have worked up the courage to tell his parents he doesn’t want to go to the academy in Piltover.  Listen… he’s working on it.  But like, he thinks at least part of the reason they work so hard is because they’re trying to put money back to send him to school, and… he’s really torn about it.  He’d feel guilty if they kept working to send him to school without knowing he doesn’t want to go, but he’d also feel guilty if he told them he doesn’t want to go and crushed all their hopes and dreams.  So, really, it is a lose-lose.

But hey, two years is plenty of time to work up the courage, right?

In five years, Ekko’s unsure of whether he’ll still be living with his parents or not.  He knows that he wants to get them into a nicer house, and as such, he’ll likely have to find some way to make money other than thievery.  So, he might consider commercializing an invention or two.

He knows his parents are fond of Piltover for whatever reason, and he would reluctantly let them go there, if they wanted.  That’s why he isn’t sure if he’ll still be living with them or not because if they do choose to go to Piltover, he’s absolutely staying behind in Zaun.  He wants them to be happy, but he’s not going to abandon Zaun like that.  Plus, he can still come visit sometimes, so it’s like… whatever.

He would also like to make a little more progress on the Z-Drive by this point, maybe getting it to the point where he can go back days instead of only minutes.  Just in case.  You never know when that thing you did three days ago is gonna come back around to bite you in the ass.

In ten years, he’ll be 26 and probably (sadly) a bit old to be running around doing dumb teenager things.  Still, he can’t see himself abandoning the Lost Children.  They’ll still need someone, you know?  A large part of his mission with the Lost Children has become keeping them out of trouble, more or less.  The bad kind of trouble, anyway.  Keeping them away from chem-punks and out of the factories and away from drugs and potentially dangerous augmentations, so on and so forth.

He’d like to keep doing that, keep helping kids stay out of bad situations.  Maybe start some sort of home for them, where they can come get a bed and a warm meal.  Or something like a school, but where they’re allowed to study what they want and hone the skills they think will be most useful to them, instead of some arbitrary curriculum they’re not even interested in.  Maybe a bit ambitious for only ten years, but… he hopes to at least be on his way to that sort of thing by then.

He wants to see Zaun be a better place, and children are the future, and he doesn’t want to see any of them fall through the cracks.  If there’s any hope for Zaun to get better - and he believes there is - it starts with its children being happy and safe.

So, his plans are currently:

Tell his parents he doesn’t want to go to the academy.

Get his parents somewhere nicer ‘cause they deserve it.

Improve time travel maybe.

Find a way to get as many children out of harm’s way as humanly possible.

And that’s basically it.

[scum-belina]

It’s been exactly 2 months since my dad passed away and I’ve still not really shed a tear over it. The only time I get sad is when I think about how he was when he was so sick when he first got cancer and when it came back so aggressively, and when I think about the year in between with him living in a rehab center trying to learn to walk again but never being able to.

The most sad I get about him is when I remember (or more commonly, have unwanted flashbacks) of when the cancer caused him to basically have dementia because seeing him so young like not even 50 yet be completely out of his mind was something so horrific and heartbreaking to me. I still never really cry about it though and I don’t feel guilty about it tbh I know that everyone grieves differently, but in a way I feel like I completely skipped over the grief phase. When we were told that he had 2 weeks left, I just accepted it.

Probably the fact I had already read all about the type of cancer my dad had right when he was first diagnosed helped better prepare me for his prognosis. All information about it said that CNS lymphoma almost always claims the life of whoever has it within 2-3 years even with treatment and remission is always very brief. It’s not like I was just waiting for him to die, but knowing what I knew made me all the more anxious and upset seeing him trying to hard to walk again because I felt it in my gut that it’d all be in vain and it was and I hate that.

The only times I miss him are times when I want to call him and talk to him over some new music or some new film/show I’ve discovered, because those were the two things we were able to really talk about, especially music due to his musician past. I am at peace knowing he is at peace because seeing him suffer with paralysis, endless nerve pain, chemo sickness, and dementia along with strokes and seizures was awful. I have no trouble accepting that he’s gone, but sometimes it hits me like “oh shit, he’s really not here anymore” even though I already know that and it’s a very bizarre feeling.

One thing that still fucks me up though is that about a month before dad got diagnosed the first time, his behavior toward me changed and he began losing his temper at me constantly and verbally abusing me, and even threatened to physically hurt me but he never could due to the nerve damage in his legs making it nearly impossible for him to move fast enough to get me. The whole thing absolutely terrified me and enraged me because everyone defended him and told me he was just stressed and since I was a moody depressed shut-in daughter I was likely setting him off with my attitude. The lack of support from my family crushed me and made me feel even more alone.

My mom was my dad’s biggest defender, and still is because she’s convinced that dad’s sudden angry and threatening behavior towards me was due to the brain tumor they found in him a month after he started acting that way. And honestly she could be right, but why did his behavior change ONLY towards me??? Wouldn’t a brain tumor cause him to act strangely with everyone?

Not to mention that CNS lymphoma tumors develop VERY rapidly, so he may not have even had one when he started acting that way with me. Any time he acted strangely and we knew he had a brain tumor, he just talked and behaved like a dementia patient who was seeing things that weren’t there and talked about things that made zero sense.

What I’m trying to say is that I’ll never know whether his abusive behavior towards me was a sane choice on his part or due to a tumor that he had no control over and that really, really haunts me because I’m still extremely angry and traumatized over his behavior. But I feel guilty being so angry over something he possibly had no control over. And truthfully I’m still angry at him over a lot of other things. He didn’t fail me in the ways most fathers fail their children though, but the areas in which he failed me were major and I’m still reeling from the ramifications of them and don’t know how to recover from them.

I know of people who had piece of shit fathers way worse than mine, yet they still shed tears and grieved immensely when their father passed and I don’t get it. They’ll say things like “he was the best dad in the world” and I’m like…no he wasn’t… My dad wasn’t the best dad in the world and I have no problem admitting that, and saying he was would be a lie. I can’t even say he was the “best dad for me”. Family always tell me how much he loved me but I feel completely unmoved by it because I actually knew him and what kind of father he was to me, and his love was very conditional. Any time I tried to open up about any of my struggled he would get angry and shut me off. I loved my dad but if I’m being honest his love for me doesn’t mean shit to me.

This is all a mess and I’m sorry for being so bitter and harsh. It’s hard to explain to people that I can acknowledge the good traits abt him and all the goods times with him, but none of it masks over all the bad times with him too, and the bad times unfortunately have left scars I’m faced with every day, while the good times have a much less intense presence in my memory.

[eldritchsurveys]

oo6.

1. Do you have any sort of “secret” goals or dreams, where you think about doing something a lot, but haven’t told anyone about it or actually made steps to achieve it? Maybe something you aren’t quite serious about, but still like to consider? >> I’m not sure. I don’t think so. Making goals isn’t a thing I’m really into. I don’t like to focus my life on one thing (moving to New Orleans is the only thing that I’m focused on, and that’s causing me enough grief because I can’t really do anything about furthering that process, it’s just a waiting game), because it has a tendency to tunnel my vision. I like to be open to as many opportunities as possible, and also... what kind of goals would a person like me have, anyway?  2. Does your town/area have a farmer’s market? Do you ever buy your vegetables there rather than grocery store? >> There are probably quite a few, but the one I know about is down the road from me. I haven’t been there when they start selling foodstuffs yet; I’m looking forward to finally buying produce from there, though. 3. Has anyone ever “ruined” anything for you (for example: your partner says, “oh, this song always reminds me of my ex” and you never want to listen to it again, or your friend is so obsessed with a movie that you start to resent the film)? >> Nah. That reminds me of Vlad, though, and how Sigma and Crystal fucking ran Repo! the Genetic Opera into the fucking ground around her to the point where Vlad refused to ever watch it or have anything to do with it. Like, damn, how obnoxious do you have to be to drive someone to that point. (Obviously if someone doesn’t find it obnoxious, then go ape-shit -- but if someone’s like “please stop singing these songs literally all the time” and you keep doing it? You’re the asshole in this situation.) 4. If you had a significant other and somehow got a chance to kiss your celebrity crush, would you still go for it? >> I don’t think my significant others would have anything against me kissing Idris Elba LMAOsdnfkglkj 5. If you still live with your parents, is it scary for you to imagine living away from them when you move out on your own? If you live on your own, how did you cope with moving away from your family for the first time? >> I didn’t really have time to acclimate to the change. I left my father’s house and drove myself straight back into the lion’s den that fucked me up the first time, because trauma does weird shit to people and in my case at that time, it made me... go back to it. And predictably, more fucked up shit happened, and I ended up back at my father’s house anyway, and then I turned 18 and got put into the hospital for suicidal ideation, and after that I was... on my own. Officially. And I had a drug-addict boyfriend, which took up all my time and energy, so I once again had no time or energy to process the fact that I was an adult out in this world that I was in no way prepared for. So, you know. I coped wonderfully!

6. Do you tend to be attracted to people that are more similar to you in interests and mannerisms or do you tend to be attracted to someone opposite/complementing to you? >> I really don’t, like... think about it. I’m just attracted to whom I’m attracted to. I trust there’s a reason for it, but I don’t make a big deal out of looking for the reason. 7. If you could choose your dream cast for a movie, name 3-4 actors you’d choose to be in it. >> Hmm. 8. Is there something that people complain about that just makes your roll your eyes because you think is not a big deal and you would gladly trade your own issues for it? >> Unfortunately, yeah, and every time I feel that way I have to talk myself out of it, because it’s uncharitable and short-sighted, not to mention dismissive of other people’s experiences and traumas. But, you know, being human, and all. It be’s like this sometimes. (It’s usually about people I don’t know, like, teenagers on tumblr complaining about... idk, their parents or something.) 9. Does it bother you when you find out that your friends have hung out without inviting you? >> This is definitely not a problem I have.

10. Have you discovered or learned anything that’s excited you, lately? If not, do you ever actually feel excitement when learning about something new? >> Sure. I mean, I don’t remember what exactly now, but that’s a familiar feeling. 11. What is a talent that a lot of other people desire or value but you really don’t care to have (e.g., singing, etc.)? >> Hmm... playing an instrument, I’d say. I like singing just fine. And I love to listen to other people play instruments, I don’t need to play one myself. 12. Do you remember the first time you consciously took a stand for your own rights (e.g., walking out of class while offended)? If you don’t remember the first time, can you explain one time when you’ve done this? >> Yeah, I really don’t remember the first time I might have done something like this. I don’t even remember any time I’ve done anything like this. I don’t think I like... take a conscious stand for things. I don’t know. 13. Is there something that you would claim as the best purchase you ever made? >> Probably not. I mean, I make decent purchases, but nothing that stands out. 14. Have you ever received an unwanted gift from someone trying to woo you? Did you accept it or reject it? >> I don’t think so. 15. Do you find that you compare yourself to others often? What sort of things do you find you compare most? >> Nah, I don’t do it all that often. Like, it happens sometimes, but it’s not a big problem I need to fix or anything. Sometimes I compare my relationship with Wednesday to other people’s relationship to [their personal incarnations of Wednesday], and that’s dumb but I know it comes from my anxieties regarding religious things in general. Christian leftovers, basically. Religious trauma is the issue I need to work on, not necessarily my knee-jerk comparing. 16. Do you ever do something in public and then worry that you might have embarrassed the people you were with? >> Sometimes, but that’s usually because substances were involved. It’s not a big problem now. 17. What was the last thing to make you really inspired to write or create art? If you don’t remember the last thing, do you ever find yourself struck by sudden inspiration? >> I do find myself struck with sudden inspiration on occasion, but I try not to depend upon that. Inspiration is fickle, and sometimes you just need to sit down and write whether it shows up or not. 18. Are you excited at all about the upcoming The Perks of Being a Wallflower movie? >> LOL 19. Would you say that you have a competitive streak when it comes to certain things? Which situations bring out the competitor in you? >> I’m really not competitive at all. In a battle of natural selection, I’d fucking lose so hard. 20. Have you ever boycotted a product or corporation? How come? >> Nah. 21. Are there any people whom you aspire to be like? Which traits do you find in those people that you wish to emulate? >> I mean, everyone I know has at least a couple of traits that I’d like to develop more in myself. Whether I do it or not is another story, lmao. 22. Are you a registered bone-marrow donor? If not, would you be interested in registering (bethematch.org) or is there something that turns you away from it? >> I’m not, but Sparrow is. The moment she said that it’s hella painful I was like “okay, donation is noble and wonderful but uh. I’m good” 23. If someone asks you to hang out, but for some reason you’re just feeling lazy/don’t want to go anywhere, do you ignore them, make up an excuse, or just tell them the honest truth? >> Listen, people who are going to be friends with me need to know that I’m gonna need days to just veg out at home and decompress and shit, or even to just be by myself for a little while, so I might as well be honest from the gate. I’ll try to make it up to them another day. 24. Do you think it should be illegal for gas stations to sell synthetic drugs (like K2 and Bath Salts) under the guise of them being “potpourri,” or do you think it’s not the gas stations’ fault for trying to make a penny, it’s the user’s fault for abusing the potpourri? >> I do think that should be illegal, because I’ve witnessed first-hand what K2 does to people. I even tried it myself, and oh my god, fuck that shit to hell. It’s... it’s disturbing. It’s so disturbing. I wish it’d go the fuck away. And while I’m all for personal accountability, I feel that’s an unnecessarily callous stance to take when it comes to substance use and abuse. There are a lot of factors that go into substance use and abuse -- mental health, socioeconomic position, the usage habits of one’s community, social alienation, desperation... like, the nuances are myriad. Saying something like “well they could just NOT use it” is an easy way to earn my distrust. 25. Have you heard of or even read the novel, “50 Shades of Grey”? If so, what’s your opinion about it? >> Heh. Yeah, I tried to read it. I didn’t get very far. I did see the movie, though! I used to feel a lot more strongly about it, but honestly, that was a waste of my fucking energy and I was just being ridiculous. It’s not that deep. 

[assholemurphy]

rhoeysama replied to your post “aprincesswholovesinsects replied to your post ...”

Is it okay if I weigh in? I know that being alone sucks. But it's important to learn to like being alone, to like your own company, in order to grow as an individual. If you don't know what you're doing wrong and they won't tell you, try to look at your behavioral patterns and see if there's something there that could turn people off from your company. There's also the option that the people you're seeing may simply be a-holes.

I had a best friend for many years in middle school-high school, and then one day, she abruptly stopped talking to me. I didn't know why, but then she called me on the phone and said she no longer wanted to be friends and gave me all kinds of excuses as to why that is, one of them was that I was just "so depressing to be around". Turned out later that she was in love with my boyfriend, and it pissed her off that he wouldn't give her the time of day.

The point is, people say a lot of things, and things aren't always as they seem. Do a lot of introspection rather than listen to other people's opinions of you, because they could just be BS-ing you.

Yeah, ofc it’s cool. I did like being alone, I was alone for several years aside from a couple friends online. I don’t mind being alone, but honestly? I’m tired of being lonely. I’d like to have friends, it’d be nice, but as I’ve been told, I don’t connect with people very well (probs bc I’m autistic, so idk what’s expected of me here? to be allistic? not how it works) and that I’m an asshole (which is true, but I thought I was toning it down quite a bit around my friends?? Like, I wasn’t half the dick I could have been and wanted to be at times bc I didn’t want to hurt their feelings? Bc I actually give a shit about them. It’s not that they haven’t told me, it’s that they haven’t replied yet. If they don’t reply at all, I’m simply going to assume that they’re exaggerating, but if they’re willing to tell me what I’ve been doing wrong, I’m willing to try to fix it. As far as I know, tho I may be sarcastic and blunt (the bluntness is part of the autism) I haven’t been that big of a jerk? So I’m not feeding birds out of the palm of my hand, but dammit, I’m not the worst person I could be. And I know they’re a dick, but they say they are bc I am? Like, okay? I don’t understand, but if that’s their excuse for legit telling me they hate me/don’t give a shit, then fine, I’ll accept it bc if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s taking the blame.

I’m sorry that happened to you. I’ve had shit like that happen, too, and it sucks. But this time, I’m pretty sure there’s a legit reason, I just don’t know what it is. I am depressing to be around, but that’s bc when I try to make jokes, they get pissed off and stop talking to me bc they ‘can’t tell when I’m joking’ despite the fact that a) I used to joke about 75% of the time? b) nobody else seems to have this issue? I’ve asked other friends and they have no problems with it? and c) I’m fucking autistic, excuse me for not being able to regulate my tone properly. Honestly, I think most of the problem is my autism, but I don’t know how to change that? I would if I could be like????? How??? But I don’t want to accuse them of that bc it’s rude as hell and I don’t want to believe that’s the case. I would rather believe it’s something that I can change than something that I can’t.

I mean, I know I can be an asshole, that’s like 50% of my personality, but I didn’t think I was the bad kind? I mean, I’m rough around the edges and take no shit, but with the way they talk about it, you’d think I was the worst person in the room at any given time. I know they aren’t entirely wrong, but no one else seems to have these problems with me? I mean, I’m only a dick to them bc they’ve made it very clear they don’t actually care about how I feel about them? I mean, I guess they do, but like, they should say that instead of telling me they don’t care whether I love them or not (which is fine, I love very easily, give me five minutes in a room with someone that I believe can relate to my bullshit and I’ll love them, too, so I don’t expect them to care, honestly) but they never said it was a problem before now? I could be kind to them, incredibly so, but they’ve made it clear they don’t like ppl caring about them, and I get that bc it bothers me when ppl care about me, too, so I try not to smother them. It’s just like there’s no middle ground. I’m too hard or too soft for them, no matter what I do. If they would just let me know when I do something wrong, I could fix it, but instead they just come out of the blue one day with the fact that they hate me, but like, they don’t really hate me, but yet they still kind of do? Idk what to do. I’m not going to reshape my entire persona just to fit them, but I am willing to try to be a nicer person, but they have to let me know what they want. I don’t think they’re bs-ing me, at least, I don’t want to believe they are bc they said they’ve only ever been honest with me, so idk.

[terresdebrume]

Responses to my ‘I hate the idea of teacher!Harry’ post

[Link to the post for reference]

I also kind of want to make it clear that just ‘cause I personally hate the idea it doesn’t mean I think people shouldn’t be allowed to like or use it—I’m just gonna make sure to play in a different sandbox for the sake of everyone involved xD

That being said, since the post was kind of bare-boned and written in the heat of the moment, more explanations/reasoning is fair game. Ahem. Onto the debate, such as it is.

@ginmo said: I get what you're saying and I'm 50/50 on the Harry as a teacher thing, like I really don't care what profession JKR would have given him because I see value is each, but the boundaries and culture you're attributing to the profession in the real world is not necessarily there in the magical world (and I'm a teacher -high school- too lol I didn't expect to see a lot of teachers on here!)

Haha, hi fellow teacher! (I have different conditions tbh, I teach in a French Institute which is more like a...private language school? Sort of? Vastly different from teachers in the national education network of France, at any rate)

Honestly, I disagree with the idea that Hogwarts would be freed from the limitations that exist in muggle schools.

After all, Albus Dumbledore was a very influential person, and even he couldn’t prevent his own firing (courtesy of Lucius Malfoy and some kind of parents council or whatever else in COS) Dolores Umbridge’s presence in OotP, or Lupin’s firing due to prejudice in PoA. True, those were in the specific context of mounting fascism in the magical world and Dumbles was a very flawed person, but still.

Plus, while we don’t know for sure whether Hogwarts is a private or a public school (or in any case, the knowledge escapes me) it is, as far as the books state, the only wizarding school in GB, so you bet your butt people are going to keep an eye on it and demands are going to be made.

If Dumbledore couldn’t make the school into its own little kingdom, I highly doubt later headmasters/headmistresses will manage it, even if I have every confidence that some of them will work their hardest to make things better.

@rahakasha said: I always thought that if he did any teaching it would be tutoring - weekends/summer for Hogwarts students or perhaps home tutoring for non-Hogwarts students. He'd be able to set his own schedule, location, terms (if contracts are needed), and so on.

(Sorry, the @ feature didn’t want to work for your url :/)

It is a possibility indeed, and there would be more leeway there (plus of course creative license since there’s no canon about that option). However, even when privately arranging with a family, you are not free to do whatever you want—they are your clients, you’re their employees, and you’re forced to compose with them and their demands, whether you think they’re reasonable or not.

(For ex : If a parent says they want their kids to have four hours of class every Saturday morning with you, it’s delicate to refuse, first because they might not accept or appreciate your attempt to influence their kid’s education, and second because you might lose a client and you sort of do need them for a living)

Plus, from what I’ve seen and experienced, people who ‘buy’ lessons for their kids tend to treat said lessons as a product. They often want visible results as soon as possible because, well, they don’t always want/have the ability to pay for too many hours in the long run. This is actually very frustrating for teachers, especially when the expectations for results fail to take into account the realities of teaching and learning.

(To be fair, most of it is born of a lack of education to the topic, but it doesn’t make things any more agreeable for the teachers involved).

@crocordile​ said: Hogwarts is so different from a regular school, I really feel like Harry would have much more ground to make a positive impact on children who need support - because they're being bullied or anything of the sort....  with minerva as principal moreover it'd be a very different things, they could work together and do so much...                     In this job, he'd BE the authority, only minerva above him, Btw I don't mean to come onto your post and annoy you sagvdbhfrgnjsd just exposing why some of us don't find it hateful even if we are teachers ourselves dealing with the terrible aspects of our profession :S I'm positive most people with that headcanon see harry as a solution to the problems you bring up, rather than being caught in them, etc

(Frankly, I disagree on the idea that it’s that different from a regular school. The topics and building are different but it didn’t seem to me like the pedagogy or lessons structures were that different from things I’ve seen or experienced as a student or during my nine months of working in Scotland. Hogwarts, to me, seems fairly modeled on the UK’s schol system, but I might be wrong.)

I mean, yes, he’d have power to turn his classroom into a better environment, but changing the school would be dependent on his colleagues’ and superiors’ active cooperation, which is never a guarantee. Plus, even with his hierarchy’s full support, McGonagall (or any other headmistress/headmaster) isn’t above the law or the various institutions meant to control Hogwarts, and war prestige only gets you so far (see my response above about external influences on the school life during Harry’s years).

Like, yes, Harry could make a positive impact as a teacher, but it would still be delayed no matter how you cut it, which I really, really can’t picture him being okay with.

Also, you mention bullying but what about the abuse that happens at home? What about students who are too poor to afford proper living conditions outside Hogwarts? As a teacher, he’d do what he can but I doubt he’d be able to offer much in terms of practical, immediate solution (let alone solutions he could have control on).

Of course, the job of Auror comes with its own trappings in that respect because he wouldn’t be on the field 24/7 and there would probably be a TON of paperwork, but at least with every job finished he’d know for a fact that he had a real, measurable influence on making the world a better place, which I honestly think he needs to see.

(Hogwarts, while an important place, isn’t the world, after all, and I’m not sure Harry would feel satisfied to limit himself to such a small microcosm without even being able to address the causes of his students’ distress)

That being said, don’t worry, I wasn’t annoyed by your intervention :D

Like I said at the start of the post, while I have a visceral dislike for the idea I don’t mind that not everyone shares my opinion I just...avoid entering the debate with staunch proponents of it? Mostly because I know I’d get irritated and snippy and that wouldn’t be interesting for anyone involved, honestly.

Debates along less wide chasms I can manage, though, I hope xD

[cstesttaken]

BRITAIN: BBC Comedy Show Spawns Social Media Storm With Real Housewives Of ISIS Sketch [VIDEO]

Joking about the Islamic State can be a dangerous matter. A BBC comedy show featuring a sketch called “The Real Housewives of ISIS” has come under fire for trivializing the very real issue of Jihadi brides. The sketch, lampooning the Real Housewives TV series and posted online Tuesday to promote the show Revolting, features four British women in hijabs discussing their new life in the Islamic State.

Perhaps predictably, the response from social media was less than enthusiastic. Many said it was “distasteful” when there were many cases of British girls under the age of 18 who had been groomed online and lured to the Islamic State. But not everyone has been offended, with several Twitter users pointing out that the whole point of satire was to bring people down to a level. “If you can mock something, you’re not scared of it,” posted one person. “ISIS want to be feared. Don’t give them that. And yes I’m Muslim, and a leftist.”

The Milkman

I have a hard time being sympathetic toward people who are either so stupid or so unstable that they can be lured into joining ISIS via online “grooming”. Mockery is the least they can expect.

ElenorRigby

If you’re that weak-minded, maybe the world is better off without you.

Jeffrey

It is, though it’d be great if you could just pass yourself away without taking a hundred bystanders with you.

Yalma Cuder-Zicci

This is how I’ve felt about “Trump as comedy” for the last six months. It trivializes how dangerous he actually is.

Todd20036

It helps us to deal with evil when we can laugh at it.

james1200

I heard someone say, maybe even right here on JMG, that the best way to deal with fascists is to laugh at them, because they just can’t deal with it. That is certainly true about the humorless Trump; his skin is as thin as his political qualifications. We need to do nothing but laugh at Trump, ISIS and other lunatic fools because it gets to them and throws them off their game.

Ore Carmi

You have a good point. During the summer, I did not believe Trump would ever be elected. I underestimated the lack of rationality of the American populace. I’m mortified. I’d found him funny and worthy of ridicule. After the election, I couldn’t even smile.

Bared Bear

I’m still holding out in my mind (yes, I’m a little bit of a Pollyanna) that Trump was never really elected by voters, that he was projecting when he kept saying that the election was rigged, and that he was given the title by a clusterfuck of Mafioso, Russian, and FBI working together to bring on another coup to they can harnass “merikkka for their own evil agendas. But I so often misunderestimate the stupidy of ‘merikkka.

Ore Carmi

It’s frightening when we start asking, “wait, would a coup be bad?” For me, honestly, it’s more about all the frightening things the Republicans in Congress are trying to push through–dismantling healthcare, giving subpoena power to their staffers, gutting ethics oversight, messing with Medicare, wrecking the economy… How do we stop them?

fuow

Well, for starters, we could vote.

marshlc

I believe this to be true. The entire election smells to high heaven.

fuow

PT Barnum got the number of ‘real’ ‘meriKKKans’ right a long time ago. What we liberals are bad at, awful at – voting. It makes us even stupider than they are.

marshlc

I think mockery serves a useful political purpose.

But it’s got to be intelligent mockery, and have a point.

I know that the “orange cheeto” type mockery of Trump is popular around here, but to my mind it’s not the most useful kind. Making fun of Trump’s hair turns him into a kind of pet, rather than pointing out the outrage that he is.

The kind of mockery that Jon Stewart used to do, on the other hand, can help deflate the Emperor with no clothes.

Yalma Cuder-Zicci

I agree. I am afraid that because Trump is such an infinitely ludicrous person people are going to settle into this dense fog of mockery as a source of entertainment and not take his real dangers seriously.

safari

another_steve

“Laughter: The best medicine.”

Silver Badger

I hope this skit does not cause bloodshed. Muslims have no more of a sense of humor than christians.

Michael R

My first thought was ( unfortunately ) worry about the safety of the actresses .

kaydenpat

Yep. ISIS deserves mocking though.

Goodboy

It’s not a matter of if but when. Their religious psychopaths take being made fun of as a insult worthy of death.

Bj Lincoln

Only the extremists are humorless. The average Muslim probably found it funny because they know it is only extremists

kaydenpat

Is it bad that I laughed?

safari

Only to people who don’t understand comedy.

Bj Lincoln

Bared Bear

Nah. I laughed too. Religions (or anything that takes itself so seriously) to me are pretty much the epitome ridiculousness. I mean Christianity is a complete sham and has shunned even the façade of what is supposedly their most sacred reasons for existing (helping those in need, loving one another, bring compassion into the world, etcetera) over to just being the power-mongering, political bitches in heat that they are.

I do have a hope that in 50 to 75 years, that Islam will truly be the religion of peace and rightfully supersede Christianity… which will be relegated to even more obscure idiots like those who pay for Scientology membership. And that at least 100 years from now, humanity will have totally outgrown the need for religion.

kaydenpat

To be honest, I wouldn’t want to see Islam supersede Christianity. I’d just like to see all religions take their rightful place outside of politics and the public square. Worship whoever and whatever in the privacy of your homes and places of worship. I don’t need to hear about it.

another_steve

^^ Yes. Very well-put, kaydenpat.

Worship whomever you want. Worship the corner fire hydrant if you want. I could not care less.

Just don’t make me pay for it out of my taxes — and do it privately, outside of the public square.

Bared Bear

I agree that religion must be kept separated out from politics and the public commons. But I do think there’s a lot of beauty to their religion… to many religions. I don’t need to believe in it to appreciate it. (Just like I can appreciate Scarlett Johansson’s beauty… but that doesn’t mean that I want to worship her sexually).

It’s when religions are allowed to metastasize… to become something much more in a society or your personal life than something that should be quietly contemplated like a nice cup of hot tea that you enjoy all the fuck alone and not thrown in your neighbor’s face (or bed).

Colonel Panic.

Budge up and make room on the naughty seat then.

Goodboy

I think it was great and brave of the producers and actors.

Sean Williams

karmanot

Yes, why yes, but you can ALWAYS sit by me and do it!

geoffalnutt

That’s a great way to get dead. Religion doesn’t take kindly to being made fun of. Hello?

Bj Lincoln

Only humorless extremists take it the wrong way. They are the ones with the problem.

Ore Carmi

I disagree. People who have been recently traumatized by ISIS would probably also not find this funny. Not that that should bar people from making comedy.

boatboy_srq

If you’re going to exclude from comedy any humorous situation that is potentially painful, pretty soon you won’t have anything you can laugh about.

Cousin Bleh

That video is no more distasteful than the actual Housewives. And at least it was funny.

dcurlee

PeterC

I might have found it funny, if I could have understood it. On my computer it arrives on U tube which is in short blips (stops and starts) which makes it totally Non-understandable., Must rely on pictures.

james1200

I really wish the press would stop covering it as news when a few hundred people are outraged about something stupid on Twitter. The P.C. Brigade on Twitter are not a representative sample of the population at large (any more than the Nazi Brigade there is) and the mainstream press is feeding into this constant “outrage cycle” in the news about utter bullshit like this. It just wears people down and they tune out real outrage being committed out there (and it will help Trump, who’s actual criminal actions will just be part of the background noise.) This skit was funny; fuck anyone who thinks otherwise and I refuse to believe even the British have become this humorless.

safari

If you think twitter is bad, wait until you see tumblr.

james1200

Tumblr seems awesome and not just because Tumblr porn is so much better and kinkier, lol! I love Tumblr! They have a PC brigade but they have everything and whatever happens on there isn’t covered by the press like it reflects the attitude of everyone in our society, which is how the press covers Twitter, which was my point.

btw, I don’t know if this makes me a hypocrite since I was condeming being overly PC but this is one of my fav Tumblrs and it will be very important in the age of Trump’s Nazis; a Tumblr that makes employers aware of any racist assholes they have working for them and getting their ass fired.

safari

Tumblr does have superior porn.

Millstone

I didn’t know tumblr had any content other than really filthy, really great porn.

David Walker

I can’t decide whether you’re being redundant (filthy = great) or really, really enthusiastic. Both are totally acceptable.

Mike Solo

I laughed, and comedy is a very important tool. Now that it has aired, maybe more will realize that groomed jihadi brides actually is a problem

another_steve

Making fun of the enemy is good therapy.

We here on this blog do it all the time, most recently with respect to Donald Trump, the Sexual Predator-Elect.

David Walker

Hell, Mel Brooks says that’s why he wrote the movie “The Producers.” That was a bit more than 20 years after WWII and he felt that making a musical about Hitler was a way to knock him down. Great concept, great movie.

BeaverTales

If you are dumb enough to leave the UK to be a jihadi wife, you probably deserve to be widely and resoundingly mocked for your stupidity.

james1200

Didn’t we all used to laugh at ourselves? I laugh at gay stereotypes, or the mocking of them, and in fact most human beings can laugh at themselves. But it’s not just Jihadis who’re humorless: a lot of people in our society want exemption from being laughed at, including Trump’s followers, who according to even some on the left, are victims of PC culture (because they can no longer call people the “n” word without being called on it, I guess), and because Hollywood ignores them by not setting romantic comedies in Kansas but always setting them in New York and the general mocking of their culture by mean liberals (which is sister-fucking and making meth in the back yard, as far as I can figure out.) There was a Vice article talking about how Trump won because we’re big, elitist meanies to the flyover states and even Bill Maher has said something similar. Everyone wants protection from being made fun of now, I guess.

PickyPecker

Frederick

Also see: Chaplin, Charlie ‘The Great Dictator ‘

Ore Carmi

Maybe it’s because I haven’t been directly affected by ISIS violence, but I was amused.

Dot Beech

I can see PBS affiliates optioning this for viewing in all the US Red States.

MBear

This white male colonialist (//hatever the current terms are against why I find this funny) in me found this funny. #Awkward

Andymac3

This ‘twitter storm’ is a storm in a tea cup. it’s what the Daily Mail and all the day time news shows thrive on.

The comedy clip was great, I really miss British humor over here almost as much as I miss dropping the letter ‘u’ from the word humour.

pj

next episode….the housewives help out by duck taping a sassy gay guy to a chair.

Snarkaholic

If you can mock something, you’re not scared of it!

Natty Enquirer

Looks fantastic. If people aren’t pissed off, your satire isn’t working.

If people watched the whole show they would realise it takes the piss out of all politics, not just ISIS, but also the Labour Party, UKIP, and the Conservatives. It took a stab at the lack of resources in the NHS, also council houses that were being knocked down for property for the rich and so on. Some of the skits were part Candid Camera style too. It was very well done. Attacking injustices with humour is very effective way of memory retention of a bad situation. American politicians should be mocked more in this manner, for their ass-holery. If you are thinking of joining ISIS you are an ass-hole, if you try to evict poor people from their homes you are an ass-hole, if you are a conservative trying to turn health care into American version of it you are an ass-hole…and so on.

fuow

Yup, make fun of something evil – it works about as well as anything else to end it. Seriously. Of course the SJWs and the humour-challenged PC-Politessas are upset about this. A sense of humour is the one essential difference between gay activists and feminists – we have one, they all too frequently do not.

The sketch is clearly about the women who want to become Jihadi brides, not the ones who are forced. If the implication had been “What’s true for the dangerously unbalanced members of ISIS and their psycho groupies is true about all Muslims” I would have been offended. After watching it, I’m only offended because so many of the jokes felt a bit stale.

no religion lacks a “force virgin pre-teens into “sacred” marriages” sub-sects, my friend. they all do it.

June Gordon

It was cute, but went for all the obvious jokes. That being said, I think it is important that NOTHING be sacred from mockery, especially religion.

Megrim Twist

We need MORE satire, not less.

well, go on and hate me now. cause, i had no problem with it. it was a bit heavy handed, but the joke parts were funny, and like jokes that i make, if a bit less obviously.

religion isn’t “special.” it’s OK to say, “believing in mythological beings is stupid.” you shouldn’t want to shoot me or fire me or kick me for saying that. if you do, YOU are the problem. Jeebus and the rest of them will come and spank me silly when they get mad enough with me. i’ll be over here, waiting for that to happen. meanwhile, all of us should be focused on our bills, kids, dogs, food, bridge game making a small slam, yoga… if the fairy beings need help, let them come and ask for it, or better still, pay for it.

Jmdintpa

well i see we are starting off the new year right… offended !

karmanot

For Allah’s sake, let the Burka Badies BE!

Earl

I might sign up to watch tv again if it’s shown here.

Acronym Jim

Perhaps young women seeing this kind of satiric skewering will be less inclined to be groomed online.

Jean-Marc in Canada

Personally, I laughed; then again, I’m an adult who can discern comedic satire and not some wilting regressive left/far right snowflake. Seriously, the only people who should be offended are ISIS and that’s a good thing.

Source

http://www.joemygod.com/2017/01/05/britain-bbc-comedy-show-spawns-social-media-firestorm-real-housewives-isis-sketch-video/