#and honestly the amount of times i’ve been hanging out with her and she’s said something like ‘i was meant to be helping mary with x today’

[fingertipsmp3]

You know what it is. She says the right things, but never does the right things

[rinhaler]

toji fucking his step daughter because his wife won’t give him any attention and she’s the second best thing :3

-🌹

daddy toji my beloved :3

warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, praise (good girl), biting, age gap, stepcest, cheating, daddy kink, creampie, bimbofication, virginity loss, fingering, masturbation.

words: 2k

Toji doesn’t know what to think, what to feel, whenever he sees you floating around the house. You’re confident, that he knows. Short skirts and tiny t-shirts are usually your go to attire, whether you’re at home or going out with your friends, you often dress scantily.

He tried scolding you about it, but you didn’t listen. And his wife, well, maybe if she supported him more he wouldn’t be thinking such oh so inappropriate things about his cute little step daughter.

“Where is she?” you ask, rudely, snapping Toji from his thoughts as you lean across the breakfast bar. He has to force himself to not look down your top, your cleavage on full display. Though his eyes do slip downward when he realises you aren’t even looking at him, too engrossed with your phone. “Said she’d give me money t’get my nails done.” you tell him, and he now knows you’re referring to your mother.

“She’s back to school shopping with Megumi.” he tells you, breaking his stare from your low cut crop top and looking into your eyes. Have you always been so skanky?

You’re a grown woman. He can’t believe you’re still leaching off of your mother. Nails can’t be that expensive. You should get a job and pay for them yourself. What makes you so special that you just get whatever you want just because you asked?

“Oh, well, you’ll have to gimme it.” you smile at him briefly before texting your friends again. You don’t even notice when he scoffs, shaking his head in disappointment.

What’s annoying him more is the fact that you’re reminding him so much of your fucking mother. Before she grew up, before they grew old, she was exactly like you. Vapid and gorgeous. She had him wrapped around her little finger back in the day, and he’s sure you are the same with every boy you come into contact with.

He feels his cock strain against his slacks as he thinks about all of hot and wild sex they used to have back then. Honestly, these days, he doesn’t remember the last time he got his dick wet. Now he’s just a miserable, pent up dad in a regular marriage. That’s life though, right? That’s just what happens as you get older.

Your wife loses interest and you develop a porn addiction.

“I’m not pay—”

You silence him as you pull your old school pink flip phone to your ear and hold up a finger in front of him, smiling when you hear your friends voice. “Yeah I’ll be there in thirty! Daddy’s givin’ me the money.” you beam at him, your shoulders bouncing as you talk excitedly.

Toji shakes his head again, reaching into his back pocket to grab his wallet.

He’s wrapped around your finger, like mother like fuckin’ daughter.

“I’m not fucking Satoru!” you tell your friend, rolling your eyes. Your step father freezes, for just a moment, before pulling out some money from his wallet. You look down at his hand and see the pitiful amount, taking his wallet from him and stealing a few extra bank notes while you rest your phone between your ear and shoulder. “Ugh. No one believes me! Do you? Whenever I tell anyone ‘m a virgin they think I’m lying.”

“Hang up the phone.” Toji tells you, but you barely hear him. You look at him for a split second before focusing on the call again.

“No, I didn’t! I sucked him off and that’s all I’ve done.” you huff. “Also my step dad is here so, like, stop talking about it.”

“Kid, hang up the fuckin’ phone.” he tells you, louder.

“Wait a sec,” you tell your friend, moving the phone away from your ear. “What?”

“Hang. Up.”

“Oh my God!” you moan, “I’ll meet you there, Toji wants to talk to me— yeah I’m probably getting in trouble because of you! Hahaaaa okay, byeeee~!” you smile, hanging up and giving your full attention to your step-father. He doesn’t speak, and neither do you. Not for a while, not until the silence makes you too uncomfortable to keep it going. “Is this ‘cuz of the money? You didn’t give me enough.”

“I— no, sweetheart.” he shakes his head. “Were you lyin’ to your friend, just now? About being a virgin?”

“Hm? No, why?”

Toji huffs out a breath, his cheeks filling with air as he thinks things through. He’s shocked, to say the least. He always thought you were putting out like a pro. He knows you’ve been on birth control for years. He’s had to drive you to get your injection a few times. He never thought about it much, just a regular dad chore when your mother wasn’t available.

But you’re a woman, now.

He’s surprised you haven’t been fucking since you were a teenager. But he’s even more surprised that you aren’t sexually active, now. He can’t help but wonder why. What’s stopping you? You dress like a slut, after all. Why aren’t you acting like one?

He reaches over and grabs his wallet and the money from your hand. You want to protest, but he walks by you too quickly for you to object. He hurries up the stairs and slams the door after himself.

“A— Am I grounded?!” you yell, hoping for a response.

Nothing.

You follow up the stairs, running up them as best you can in your high heels, and wait outside of his bedroom door. You knock a few times, and get no response. So you begin to pound on the door.

“Toji! You can’t ground me anymore!”

“You’re not grounded, come here.” he instructs. You open the door and walk into the room. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed, belt unbuckled and zipper down. He must be changing into something comfier to wear around the house. “Sit.” he tells you, patting his hand on his lap.

You go to him, immediately, sitting sweetly on his thick thighs as he thinks about what to say.

“Didn’t realise you were such a good girl,” he tells you, kissing your shoulder softly. “You’re like a nice version of your mother.”

“Should divorce her if y’don’t like her, daddy.” you tell him, looking down at your imperfect nails. You giggle when you feel him bounce you on his leg.

“Maybe I should.” he tells you. “But I’ll be lonely.”

“You’ll have me ‘n Megumi!” you remind him. “Well, maybe not me as much, but, y’know.”

“Ah, sweetheart, don’t wanna lose you. Not now, not ever.” he kisses your shoulder again. “How come you’re a virgin, huh? Savin’ it?”

“Mhmm… wanna give it to someone special.” you tell him, looking his direction and batting your pretty, false eyelashes. “Everyone thinks ‘m a slut… but ‘m not! Promise! Makes me embarrassed that I haven’t done it yet, sometimes, though.”

His cock aches as he hears you talk. How dumb yet adorable you sound as you discuss your sex life, or lack there of. He isn’t even a little surprised that people don’t believe you, he wouldn’t have believed it himself if you hadn’t told him. He can see in your pathetically wet eyes, though, that you’re being truthful.

He is overwhelmed by the need to bare his soul to you. To tell you what he wants. What he needs and desires from you most right now. There’s no shame within him as he puts his hand down his pants and wraps his hand around his cock, pulling it free. He holds your body in place with his free hand, his arm possessing enough strength to keep you firmly in place.

You’re just like your mother.

If your mother wasn’t a cold, celibate bitch.

“Daddy wants to be your someone special, darlin’.” he informs you, words warbling as he pleasures himself behind your back.

You can hear it. You can hear the tacky sound of his cock being rubbed again and again. The way his breath and speech is slightly uneven. He sinks his teeth into your bare shoulder and you wince. It’s not too hard, but it was unexpected.

He’s surprised you don’t object when he splits your legs apart so that you’re straddling one of his thighs. His hand roams up your thigh and beneath your skirt, towards your clothed cunt. Though when he gets too close, your legs shut, quickly.

“You’re my daddy, you can’t touch me there!” you remind him. But he knows. He knows he’s your daddy and that’s exactly why you should let him. Admittedly, part of you wants him to. You want to feel someone make contact with your untouched core for the very first time.

Someone that isn’t you.

You’re sure Toji is very experienced. He’s so handsome, even now. You’ve seen pictures of him when he was your age over two decades ago. He’s beautiful, like a film star. You know he was fucking like it was going out of fashion.

Your mother has told you what a stallion he is in bed, you’re close like that. There’s no secrets or shame between you. And honestly, it did make you feel a little jealous. You felt like you were missing out on something. Sex, in general, and Toji.

But you never thought you’d be like this, with him.

“Baby, who’s gonna make you feel more special than your daddy, hah?” he asks. You feel your resolve weakening as he kisses your neck deliciously. You want to scream at him, to tell him where you want him to touch you.

He teases your body until your arching and squirming to follow his touch. And you practically cream around his thigh when he lifts up your top and tweaks your nipple. You’re weightless in his hold as he moves you around like you’re his little doll. He licks and laves over your pulse point while playing with your tits. His free hand moves your panties aside with a goal in mind. Two thick fingers slide effortlessly into your tight, virgin slot. The resistance is there but he ignores it. You ignore it.

And within minutes you’re having your first orgasm on account of another person. You aren’t sure why your mother has stopped having sex with Toji, you’d be begging him for it every chance you got if this brief encounter is anything to go by.

“Fuck me, daddy, please? Please—”

“Thought daddy’s can’t touch their little girls there?” he smirks, already helping you turn around to face him. He kisses you, sloppily, as he lines his thick cock up with your tight hole. “Sh, sh, shhh, baby… good girl, c’mon, take daddy’s cock. Jus’ like that.” he talks you through it as you sob. Little cunt stretching to accommodate his monstrous size.

“T-Too big! Daddy’s too big for me!” you tell him, though he silences you with another kiss.

Truth be told, he doesn’t particularly care if it hurts or not anymore. He doesn’t care if you can’t take him, because you will. He does all of the work for you, lifting you up and down like a toy while he thrusts up into you.

He almost cums from the sight of your eyes turning white and your tongue hanging out as he pummels into your sweet spot. He wonders if you’ll keep telling your friends you’re a virgin. It’ll be a fun little secret, for both of you, he thinks.

He finishes with a string of grunts, fucking his seed deep into you again and again until he’s got nothing left to give.

You feel so icky and sweaty as he starts to calm down from his release. He kisses you, sweetly, thanking you repeatedly. He needed this badly. It’s not even just sex anymore. He’s tired of feeling lonely and he’s tired of being neglected.

You’re not your mother though, are you?

You won’t make him feel like that.

“Don’t tell her, sweetheart.” he tells you, brushing your hair from your face and kissing your cheek. He grabs your chin between his thumb and forefinger, guiding you to look at him as he speaks. “This stays between you ‘n me, alright?”

“Mhmm!” you nod, leaning forward eagerly to kiss his lips. “Always wanted you to be my special person…” you confess.

“Yeah?” he smiles at that, you really are sweet when you want to be.

“Wanna do it again, daddy. Can we?”

“Of course,” he nods, “I’m addicted to this little pussy, now.”

© 2023 rinhaler

[nhlclover]

i wish you would | rutger mcgroarty

summary: when you reunite with your ex-boyfriend at a party both of your self-control is tested.

request: yes / no

warnings: mentions of alcohol, making out

a/n: based on ‘i wish you would’ by taylor swift. literally been planning a fic based on this song for forever and i finally wrote it so yay me!

word count: 1.3k

“This feels like an excessive amount of booze.” You say, dropping the last bag on the counter.

“Well, there is an excessive amount of people coming.” Your friend Kelsey says.

“You know what? Birthdays get special privileges.” You smile at her. She steps towards you, wrapping her arms around you and squeezing you tightly.

She unravels her arms from around you, leaning on the countertop. She has an anxious look on her face looking at you. “What?” you ask.

“What?” She says back.

“Your face is all screwed up tightly. You look like you want to say something.” You tell her.

She lets out a huff of air. “I invited Rutger.”

Your breath catches in your throat. Kelsey chews on her lip as she awaits your answer.

“That’s fine.” You say.

Kelsey straightens up. “Really?” She asks.

“Yeah I mean you’re still good friends, it would be unfair to make you not invite him.” You explain.

“Y/n you’re truly wonderful.” She says, wrapping her arms around you and squeezing tightly.

You hug her back, wondering how the evening was about to go. It was hard having your ex-boyfriend still in the same friend group as you. You were friends before you started dating, having met through mutual friends.

Your relationship was a strong and passionate one, which is likely what contributed to you guys breaking up. If you’re being honest, you’re not quite sure why you and Rutger broke up. You remember the fight, being mad at Rutger and hanging up the phone on him. But you don’t know why you fought.

You were the one that said the words “we’re over” before ending the call. It hurt when Rutger didn’t even try to call back, so you fell asleep with anger in your heart. It only took a couple of days for the anger to dissipate and the mourning of your relationship to kick in. You missed him too much to be mad anymore.

There were several unsent texts you’d drafted outlining all the things you’d felt had gone unsaid on your part. However, you never sent any of them.

You tried to force the thought of Rutger out of your mind throughout the rest of the night, as well as attempt to avoid him. It worked for the majority of the night until most of the party gathered in the living room to play a drinking game.

While you sat out, wanting to be sober to keep an eye on your friends, you spotted your ex-boyfriend across the room nursing a Bud Light.

The two of you locked eyes instantly. Your instinct was to look away but you couldn’t find yourself doing so. You kept a locked gaze for a moment before he finally tore his eyes away to talk to a friend. The moment had your heart pounding.

You met eyes a few other times throughout the night but you were able to force yourself to look away those times.

It was weird; all you wanted was to have Rutgers eyes back in your life, but every time you met them a sense of panic would erupt within. You weren’t sure why. On one hand it makes you want to run and hide but it also makes you want to turn right back around.

2 AM was when people started to file out of the house or retire to one of the bedrooms in Kelsey’s house. Looking around the living room at the abundance of empty cans, cups, and bottles, you began to start tidying your friend's house.

“Hey, need some help?”

You spin around to face the voice, seeing Rutger is standing in the doorway,

“Uhm, no, no. That’s alright, I’m good, I’ve got it. It’s honestly not that much to do, I can handle it.” You ramble.

Rutger chuckles, stepping towards you. “Nice to see you still do that rambling thing when you get nervous.”

He picks a trash bag from the box, filling it with cups from around the room. You stare at him momentarily before resuming cleaning. The pair of you clean, the silence only being broken with the sound of clinking bottles.

“How’ve you been?” Rutger asks.

“F-fine. I’ve been good.” You reply. “How about you?”

“I’ve been good.” He says. “I haven’t seen you at any of the hangouts or anything.”

“Uh yeah, just been busy.” You lie. You’d been purposefully not attending anything your friends planned if you knew Rutger was going to be there. You didn’t know what you would do if you saw him. Now, being forced to be alone in a room with him, you were panicking slightly.

So, the two of you clean in silence, only quiet noises coming from the two of you. There’s still a bit of comfort you find in being in Rutgers' presence despite your nerves in seeing him.

“Y’know, the other day I was in your neighborhood and I accidentally drove down your street. Just out of habit.” Rutger tells you. “It was weird to keep driving past.”

There’s a pang in your chest hearing what Rutger says. You remember a couple of days ago, sitting in the window seat of your bedroom. It was 2 AM when a pair of headlights flashed in your window. You peeled back the curtains, catching a glimpse of the car.

Your heart did a little flip-flop when you thought it was Rutger’s car. You brushed it off as every white car you saw recently made you think it was his.

“Just driving past your house made some memories come back,” Rutger says, a little chuckle coming out. “Like when we accidentally crashed that wedding at the golf course.”

You laugh remembering how you wound up joining the wedding, stealing a bottle of wine, and running when the maid of honour caught the two of you. Overwhelming memories of your relationship come back as you’re reminded of the days and nights you spent together.

“I’m sorry for how things ended.” You say, dropping empty bottles into the recycling bin. The clink of the glass cuts the abrupt silence. You look over to Rutger standing over the coffee table staring down at the wood.

“Me too.” He says. He goes back to picking up the cups and bottles, dropping them in the bin by your feet. You look up at him, his dark blonde hair falling over his forehead.

“I miss you.” You say quickly.

“I thought you hated me.” Rutger says in a low voice. He eyes your face, pausing briefly on your lips.

“I could never hate you.” You sigh. “I honestly wish I could go back and not hang up on you when we broke up. I actually don’t even remember why I was mad at you anymore! I just… all I know is I miss you.”

“Really?” Rutger says.

“I miss you, Rut. I’ve missed you ever since. I’ve spent hours late at night hoping, praying that you’d come back and knock on my door. That I would have you back in my arms because that’s the only thing I need.”

Rutger suddenly swoops down, connecting your lips. His hands are on your hips lifting you slightly to match his height. Your hands are up in his hair, tugging at the roots, something you know he likes.

He groans into the kiss, which itself becomes rougher. Rutger pulls you off the ground, your legs wrapping around his waist. He carries you over to the couch, laying you down.

His lips are detached from yours but he keeps you in his grasp.

“All I wanted to do was call you back. Do you know how many times I drove down your street, itching to pull into your driveway again?” Rutger asks.

“Why didn’t you?” You question.

“I thought you wouldn’t take me back.” He says.

“I’ll always take you back.”

His lips are back on yours, the mess you were once cleaning left forgotten as you picked things up where they left off.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for refusing to buy my friend gold? 

I (f/33) have a very good friend (f/39) who is Hindu and an Indian immigrant, and this year she invited me and my wife (33) to celebrate Diwali with her. My wife and I are white canadians and not religious. We’ve been friends with her for almost a decade, but in the last few years have become very close and now she is basically family. We happily accepted.

We brought over food and the stuff to make paper lanterns, and we had a lovely time. The problem came when near the end of the night, when my friend told me that it’s been so long since she had people to celebrate Diwali with, and she was getting excited for presents. I didn’t know Diwali included presents so I hadn’t brought her anything, besides the craft supplies and food, she said that was fine and we could get her something next year.

I asked her what sort of gift she would like, and she said gold was the traditional gift and, I quote “but make sure it’s above 10 karat or it’s basically tin, I’d just throw it away.”

I thought this was a joke at first so I laughed, which made her confused. I explained that I would never give anyone gold as a gift, I’ve never even gotten my wife gold, we couldn’t even afford wedding rings. When she still looked confused I tried to clarify, and asked how much is a gift of gold, traditionally (since I’ve never bought gold, I had no idea how much it would cost.)

She told me a minimum of 500 dollars.

At this point is the behaviour I think might make me an asshole, because I was laughing in complete disbelief very openly. I told her that was completely insane, and I would happily spend every Diwali with her and get her a gift, but there was no way I was buying her 500 dollars worth of gold, ever, especially not if it was a yearly thing.

I know that in India, my friend was of a pretty high caste socially and her family is well off, and here in Canada she is an accountant who owns her own condo, and is looking to buy more property and become a landlord. My wife and I live frugally, we’re blue collar and both from working class families. An average amount I spend on a Christmas or birthday gifts for someone I’m close to would be about 20-50 bucks.

After I’d explained all this to her, I could tell she was disappointed and it had made her sad and confused. Part of me feels bad for laughing at her tradition, especially since she made the effort to include us and has no family here to celebrate with. But it honestly boggles me, and makes me a bit mad, honestly, which I know is unfair since it’s just differences in how we grew up, but I can’t help feeling annoyed and like she’s not seeing her privilege.

This has been compounded by the fact that for Christmas, which we also celebrated with her, she actually gave us gold, worth quite a lot, in the form of a special coin. We’re not the type to display fancy stuff, so it just sits in storage now. But I’m worried she may expect tit-for-tat, even though the only way we could possibly afford to give her gold back in exchange is if we sold what she gave us which we are definitely not supposed to do.

We still hang out constantly and we will continue to do so, she is a for-life friend for a lot of reasons, and I’d love to make her holidays and celebrations special, but this is just a sticking point for me, and I find myself feeling/acting like a prick every time it’s brought up.

So, AITA? Does anyone have suggestions for this situation?

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

There's Beauty in Tragedy: Part Three

Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.4k

Warnings: fluff

Summary: JJ feels insecure with the amount of money she has compared to you and hates she can't give you what you can give her. So, she decides to show you a bit of her world by taking you on a date.

Part One Part Two

Square Filled: "your laugh is adorable" for @goodthingshappenbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

JJ walks into work on Monday morning with a slight smile on her face. She had just spent the weekend with you in Milan. You whisked her away for a romantic but expensive weekend in one of the places she’s always wanted to visit. You spoiled her with whatever she wanted, even showered her with gifts she couldn’t possibly accept under normal circumstances. You have all this money you want to spend on someone, and now you do.

She just feels so bad because she doesn’t make nearly as much as you do, so she can’t give you the same treatment. She’s brought up the money concerns even though you’ve dismissed them. You truly don’t care if she has money to spend on you or not. You do, and you love spending money on those you love.

It’s just hard on her because you’re giving her so much luxury and she can’t do the same for you.

Emily and Penelope are in the break room talking about their weekends when they notice JJ walk past them. Yes, she has a smile on her face but it’s not reaching her ears. They know she spent the weekend with you, so they’re not sure why she doesn’t look truly happy. Without a word, both of them follow her to her office.

“Hey, are you okay?” Emily asks.

“Yeah, fine. Why?”

“Babe, we can sense something isn’t right. Did something happen between you and Y/N?”

“No, the weekend was perfect, actually,” JJ sighs and sits down.

“Then, what’s bothering you?”

“We all know how much money she has. She’s given me so much, and she spoils me even if I tell her not to spend money on me. I mean, she has it. She might as well spend it on everything she can. I don’t make as much money as her, and I don’t want it coming across as me taking advantage of her.”

“Do you love her?”

“I don’t know, honestly,” JJ blushes. “It could be if given some more time. We’ve only been seeing each other for a few months.”

“If Y/N likes you for you, then money shouldn’t be an issue.”

“Yeah,” JJ nods.

“She’s been taking you on all these expensive dates, right?” Penelope asks. “Why don’t you take her on a date? Maybe it’s more mellow and more your style. Show her that you two can still have fun without all that luxury.”

“The Redskins are playing in the Superbowl. I’ve always wanted to go to the game. Maybe I can bring her.”

“Yeah! Like I said, if she likes you for you, she’ll love going to the game. We gotta go but let us know how it goes.”

Once Emily and Penelope are gone, JJ takes out her phone to call you. She has a lot of work to do today but will do it after she’s talked to you.

“Hey, I was just thinking of you,” you answer with a grin. “We spent a whole weekend together and I already miss you.”

“Yeah, I kind of wish we were back on the beach.”

“We could think weekend if you want. I hear Bora Bora has beaches to die for at this time of year.”

“Maybe we can do that, sure. I called because I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a date this weekend with me. The Superbowl is this weekend, and I’ve always wanted to go. I think it could be fun.”

JJ bites her lower lip nervously as she waits for your answer.

“I think that sounds amazing. What time?”

“Two-thirty on Friday. I can pick you up this time.”

“I look forward to it. I have to go now. Have fun at work.”

“I’ll talk to you later,” JJ smiles and hangs up.

If you’re going to go to a football game, then you need to dress the part. All you’ve ever worn are fancy and elegant clothes because you’re expected to dress a certain way. Being a CEO comes with downfalls, so you have to go to the store to buy more casual clothing for the football game. You don’t think you can get away with wearing heels, a fancy dress, and a designer-brand bag at a football game.

Once you got a whole wardrobe full of a new style of clothing, you got dressed in jeans, converse sneakers, and a red and gold shirt to represent the Redskins’ colors. You’ve been looking forward to this date all week because you want to get to know JJ in an environment that’s more her style. Sure, you can take her all around the world and shower her with gifts and luxury, but she won’t fully be herself unless she is in her world.

Two hours before the game starts, JJ shows up at your house to pick you up. Where you have town cars and expensive cars, she has her SUV which is a bit older than the newer models that are on the lot. You get into the car and greet JJ with a loving kiss.

“Hi. I’ve been thinking of you all week. I’m really excited about this game.”

“Have you ever been to a football game?” she asks and starts to drive off.

“Never, but I’m glad my first is with you.”

You know nothing about sports. The only reason you’re going is for JJ because this is what makes her happy. You want nothing more than to see her happy, and you’ll do anything to keep that smile on her face. Once you get there, you quickly find your seats which are in the lower bowl of the stadium.

The frigid February weather bites at your skin but you welcome the cold. It gives you a chance to snuggle close to JJ.

“So, who’s playing?”

“Redksins vs Green Bay. I’ve been a major Redskins fan since I was little. My dad and I would try to make it every game they did.”

“That sounds awesome.”

“Yeah, it was. I haven’t been to a game in a long time, so I’m really happy we’re doing this together.”

You reach over and grab her hand, intertwining your fingers together.

“Me too. Thank you for inviting me.”

“I know this isn’t luxury or expensive dinners, but--”

“No, this is amazing. I’m really glad I’m here with you. As long as you’re happy and we’re together, I don’t care what we do,” you kiss the back of her hand.

There’s that beautiful blush on JJ. The color compliments her skin. As soon as the game starts, something changes in JJ. She becomes more animated as she cheers for her team when they score and growls in frustration when they lose. You’re not sure when you cheer, so you follow her lead. One of the members of her team runs toward the endzone when someone from the opposite team tackles him to the ground.

Someone a few rows down from you stands up and yells at how stupid that play was, and JJ is caught off guard by the outburst. She covers her mouth and giggles but you hear it.

“Your laugh is adorable,” you smile at her.

“You are adorable,” she smiles. “I hope you’re not too bored.”

You let go of her hand to wrap an arm around her back. You rub her shoulder sensually and cock your head to the left.

“I am happy wherever you are. I’m starving.”

“They have food up top.”

“You mean I get to try stadium hot dogs and beer? Sign me up,” you chuckle. “Do you want one?”

“I’ll go with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

You two head to the concession stands where you get two beers and four hotdogs. This is so much different than the elegant restaurants you’re so used to going to, but you love the change of scenery. This is something you’ll have to get used to if you want to continue dating JJ. You can’t expect her to adapt to your lifestyle. That's not how a relationship works.

During a small break, you look over at JJ to see some mustard on the corner of her mouth. You reach other and wipe it with your thumb only to put that same thumb into your mouth to lick off the condiment.

“You got something there.”

“Is it all gone?” she asks after she swallows.

“No. Here, let me.” You grab her chin with your index finger and thumb and pull her into you. You kiss her without caring who is watching you two. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

Whatever thoughts and worries she had about you and your money are gone because she really likes you and hopes this lasts for a long time.

“Thank you for coming with me,” she grins.

x

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[lianaloverr]

4 𝙋𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙇𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧

Sam Goldbach x fem!reader

★

Summary: You've had a crush on Sam for 8 years, after another failed attempt to confess your feelings, you came up with a solution..

Warning: none

Word count: 1.2k

Hiiiiii!!!! It's been so long omgggggg, I hope y'all like this! This story was based of one of my favorite songs!

s

“”I’m sending him a 4 page letter, and I enclosed it with a kiss.”

“Yo, turn my music up?”

.

That's what I told my bestfriend Missy. “Alright.” she responded. “Hey, have you talked to Sam?” she added. “No? Why?” I ask kind of worried. All she did was smirk at me, I rolled my eyes. She loved to tease me about my crush. I’ve had a crush on Sam for 8 years, we’ve been friends for 13 years. When we were younger, we were inseparable. I never wanted to accept my feelings for him, but all the times I looked at him with pure love, and the amount of times I would get jealous at him introducing his new girlfriend’s. I just had to admit it eventually. But I never dared uddered a word about it to anyone, only my close friends. But somehow, some people caught on, but Sam was still oblivious.

I was scared honestly. Mama always told me to be careful who I love. And daddy always told me make sure he’s right. I took that to heart. But It felt different with him. Something I never felt before.

“You should text him.” Missy says, snapping me out my thoughts. “Yeah, yeah. Can you turn it up a little bit more?” I ask, “Text. Him. First.” damn, she's serious. “Okay, mom geez.”

Sammy 🩵

Me: hi sammyyyyyy

Sammy 🩵: hi bubba, is something wrong?

Me: no, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight? Yk, play some games, watch some movies, its whatever you want to do:)

Sammy 🩵: now bubba, when would i say no? Ill be there at 9

Me: okay sam, love youuu

Sammy🩵: love u too bubba

End of conversation

“Okay, I texted him. You happy?” I say snarky. “Yes, indeed.” She says standing up to hug me. “You know you have to tell him sooner or later right?” Jesus.. “Dude, we’ve already had this conversation. It's not the right time!” I slightly raised my voice out of irritation. “Okay babe;” she laughed. “There’s no need to be angry.” she said. “Yeah, yeah.. I’m sorry, I’m just stressed. You're right.” I replied. “Yes.. I know, I’m always right. But if you don't tell him, I will.” She concluded. I chuckled dryly. “Okay.”

—-------------

Me and Missy hung out for a couple of hours until Sam texted me telling me he was on his way. Seeing that I looked at the time and realized it was 8:30. “Oh crap. I gotta go.” I tell Missy, giving her a quick hug and rushing out her apartment door. “Okay, bye babe! Good luck!” is what I heard from the distance.

On my way back to my house, I get a phone call from Kat.

You: regular

Kat: bold

Heyy kitty kat!

Hii y/n/n! Whatcha doing??

Oh i'm heading back to my apartment, I got plans with Sam.

Y/n are you serious??

I know Kat.

Your playing yourself for him, everyone says he doesn't even notice you

Please Kat, let me have this. You don’t know him like I do.

Okay, whenever he doesn't show up I'll always be here.

Gee, thanks. Anyways I gotta go, I’m back home. Bye kitty kat!!

Byeeee!!

End call

I sigh and walk up to my house, excited to see that beautiful face again. About 5 minutes later I hear a knock on my door. Yayyy! I opened the door to be a little disappointed to see a pizza delivery man. (u thought that was Sam didn’t you?) “Hello, 3 pizzas for Sam?” He says. “Yes sir. Thank you!” I say as he handed me the pizzas. After I put the food down on the kitchen counter and look at my phone. That's when I saw a missed text from Sam saying he ordered pizzas. An audible “no duh” came out from my mouth. I text back with a “Got them!”

About 10 minutes later I hear a knock on my door. It was the one and only Sam. “Sammyyyyy!!” I yell jumping on him for a hug. “Hi y/n/n.” He replies, snuggling into my neck. “You surely took your time.” I whisper into his ear. “Oh I'm sorry, traffic.” He says. We stayed like that for about 10 seconds. “Maybe you should come inside hun.” you say, pulling away. You hear an audible groan come from his mouth, but he complied none of the less.

—---------

Sam ended up staying there for 5 hours and it was really fun. Y'all did a lot of stuff, and occasionally flirted. You thought it was really weird because Sam never showed signs of liking you. But at the same time he could be joking. I just overthink too much. On the way out the door, I couldn't help but wonder if I actually had a chance.

“Thanks for inviting me over Y/n, I had a lot of fun.” Sam says. “Of course! You're welcome anytime.” I replied. After that, we just stared at eachother. Wow, this is weird. It was like he was waiting for something, I just gave him a confused look. He just sighed and said, “Anyways, bye.” and rushed out the door. That was even weirder but it is what it is. Since it was 2:30, I decided to take a quick shower and head to bed.

The next day

—---------

It was currently 3:30 in the afternoon and I was up thinking all night. I don’t know why but when I tried to go to sleep, I couldn’t. But luckily, I know what to do with Sam now. I called Missy to tell her.

You: Regular

Missy: Italic

Hello?

Hii bestie!

Hiii babe, how was last night?

It was amazing! We played games, watched movies..

Did you tell him?

No but that’s what I was calling to tell you. I know what to do now about it.

Oh my god! Finally!! So what?

I’m sending him a 4 page letter.

… What?

It’s a great way to express my feelings without embarrassing myself in person.

That is… genius! How come you didn’t think of that earlier??

Honestly I don’t know! It just came to my mind after he left last night.

Yess! I'm gonna leave you to it, get it done and there as fast as you can!

Okay, bye.

End of call

I ended up sitting there and writing that letter for 1 hour. It was really a 4 page letter expressing all my feelings to him. The way he makes me feel. The way I felt this way for 8 years. The way he keeps me safe. How I hope when I get the courage to come to him, to promise not to diss me. I told that I was too shy so I decided to write instead of saying it in person. After all that, I contemplated putting my name on it, but eventually decided against it. I put it in the envelope and enclosed it with a kiss.

____

I sat there for about 15 minutes arguing back and forth with myself about sending it but I knew I had to, I couldn’t hide any longer. I walked out to the drop off box and left it in there. I walked back home with a scared but excited look on my face, in hopes…

˜”*°•.˜”*°•He would get it on time•°*”˜.•°*”˜

࿎࿎🎀

I hoped y’all liked it. I’ve missed you guys so muchhh.

[thewordworrier]

Are You Thinking Of Me Like I’m Thinking Of You? - Part One

Series Masterpost

Word Count: 7,481 words. Warnings: A decent amount of swearing, some slightly perverted flirting.

While Shelly can always escape the weather, she can never escape her band. At least not for very long. Ultimately she doesn't really mind, even if the conversation gets a little bit heated.

[Setting: We’re a few years into the Revenge Era, and the band are performing a few sets at some kinda Music Event during the warmer months. This is probably Warped 2005. Or thereabouts.]

It was hot. Far too hot. Way too hot, way too loud and way too busy. Shelly found herself struggling with it all, honestly. She couldn’t get used to the different types of heat in America, and she felt a bit dumb for it, really. She’d been working this side of the water for a good couple of years now, so surely she should at least be a little bit used to it.

Thankfully, she wasn’t totally needed at that moment - the bands were all mingling, hanging out and having a good time until their set times. Besides, if her band needed her, they’d call her. They knew that they could call her whenever they needed to, no matter what the time was or what they needed. But right then, Shelly needed to find somewhere quiet because everything was starting to feel overwhelming.

Once Shelly made her way through some of the backstage areas, it took her a few minutes to find somewhere that wasn’t occupied. Once she had though, she dropped her bag by the small couch and flopped onto her back, stretching out and letting out a sigh. It was quiet and a bit cooler. Maybe it was cooler because she wasn’t surrounded by people. Or maybe it was cooler for another reason; her brain wasn’t exactly running on a full tank of gas. She was just too hot - even though her “uniform” in the summer months ended up being t-shirts or tank tops, shorts and sneakers, she still found herself roasting.

She wasn’t very good with the heat; she reckoned if she wasn’t so hot, she’d be able to deal with everything else so much more. Of course, if she could get used to any one of the three things that were overwhelming her right then (the heat, the noise or the crowds), then the rest would fall into place. In theory anyway - it was, of course, entirely possible that everything felt like Too Much because it was All At Once. But she reckoned that the heat was the main offender. She had never been very good with the hotter summers back home either.

Shelly spent some blissful minutes in solitary silence, cooling down a little, even managing to cool down enough in order to sit up properly instead of being stretched out. She pulled her phone out of her pocket to check it, to see if she was being looked for, but before she could properly check her notifications, the door opened and she heard her name.

“Shellyyyyyy!”

The blonde in question looked up to see a heat flushed Lux.

“I found youuuu,” the other girl said, closing the door behind her. “I need time away from smelly boys. There’s so many of them! They’re awful in this weather. Can I hide with you?”

Shelly giggled and gestured for Lux to join her. “Sure, baby.”

Lux beamed and plopped down next to her for a moment. “Thanks! Do I smell? I’ve been outside all day.”

“Hmm,” Shelly leant closer to sniff her drummer. “No, I don’t think so. I think you’re alright.”

“Okay great!” Lux huffed a bit before she stood up to stretch, feeling restless. “So, what are you doing?”

“Um,” Shelly rubbed her arm a bit. “Just trying to catch a break from all the noise and all the people, and especially all of the heat because oh my god it’s so hot.”

Lux nodded, she knew that Shelly suffered in the heat, and sat on the other couch in the room. “I agree. It’s all too much.”

Before Shelly could say anything else, there was a knock at the door.

“Come in.”

The door opened again and Mikey stuck his head around it. He looked worried until he saw Lux, and then his expression changed to relief. “Ah, there you are.”

Lux blinked rapidly. “What?”

“I thought some creep -” He paused before shaking his head. “You know what, it doesn’t matter.”

Shelly tilted her head and cleared her throat a little. “What can I do for you Mikey?”

“Nothing Shell, just looking for Lux.”

“Come and hang out in here,” Lux said with a grin. “It’s much cooler.”

“I am apparently very good at finding the coolest spots,” Shelly said softly, rolling her eyes.

Mikey chuckled and settled close to Lux, not too close because it was still hot after all, before turning to Shelly again. “I suppose you’re still not used to this weather are you? I mean, Britain is well known for being… Wet?”

Shelly giggled a bit at his tone before she tried to fan herself with her hand for a moment. “It can rain a lot, yes, but even when it’s warm, it’s not this warm.”

Mikey nodded as he listened. “Different climates and humidity and all of that.”

“Exactly,” Shelly nodded and squirmed in her seat for a second before plucking at her darker coloured t-shirt and standing up, grabbing her bag. “I might need to change this. I screwed up putting this on today. Does anyone have a problem with that?”

Mikey shook his head, and to make a point, he took off his glasses, hooked the arm in his t-shirt and covered his face with his hands. Shelly watched this, slightly amused, as Lux sat up a bit straighter, resting her chin in her hands.

If you asked Lux about this at a later date, she would probably willingly admit that she was ‘chin-handsing’ at Shelly getting half naked (not that this was new to Lux, the girls often shared a room and sometimes a bed), and maybe, just maybe she would admit that she was also heart-eyesing at Mikey being so darn respectful.

“I’m assuming you don’t have an issue, Miss Lux?” Shelly grinned slightly in the younger girl’s direction, giggling when Lux went a bit pink before she shook her head. “I didn’t think so.”

“You’re just so pretty Shell,” Lux said, as she watched the blonde pull a tank top out of her bag.

Shelly shook her head at Lux before looking at the tank top. She then pulled a face before turning her back to the other two. “Ugh, it’s white. I guess all the others are in the wash pile.”

“That bag is your emergency bag though,” Lux said, trying not to be too obvious about watching Shelly change. “You don’t really plan to use what’s in it. It’s a last resort.”

“Perhaps,” Shelly tugged her t-shirt off over her head, rolled it up and shoved it in her bag before pulling the tank top on. “Maybe I should swap the emergency shirt for a darker colour once we’ve done some laundry.”

Almost as if he was summoned by the flashing of female flesh, there was another knock at the door and Frank appeared. He looked around to see some of his bandmates. And Shelly, who seemed to be half dressed.

“Well, well well!” He said, closing the door behind him. “What’s going on in here?”

Shelly pulled the fabric down properly over her chest before turning to face the noise. “It’s like Waterloo Station in here.”

The other two frowned at her slightly, while Mikey kept his gaze averted.

“Um! It’s like… Uh, Grand Central Station? New York Airport?” She tried to correct herself. “It’s a really busy public transport hub - one of the main ones in the capital city.”

It was only as she looked around at them that she realised that Mikey still had his eyes covered. She giggled and made her way back over to the smaller couch to sit back down.

“Oh, Mikey, honey, you can look now.”

Frank plopped himself down between Mikey and Lux as the bassist quickly cleaned his glasses on the hem of his t-shirt before putting them back on.

“Nice bra, by the way,” Frank said to Shelly with a grin.

“Oh shut up,” Shelly rolled her eyes. “I didn’t think I’d have to wear white today.”

“Is that blue?” Frank leant forward a bit, trying to get a closer look at Shelly. “Or is it some kinda purple?”

“It’s purple!” Lux blurted out, earning a smile from the blonde.

Frank glanced at Lux, grinned even wider and then turned to Shelly again. “”Purple is very becoming on you. Then again -”

Mikey rolled his eyes and elbowed Frank. “Don’t be crude.”

The guitarist managed to avoid the elbow to the ribs and just cackled. Lux rolled her eyes at this behaviour.

“Who’s being crude?” Ray asked as Gerard closed the door.

“Who do you think?” Lux said.

“Frank,” Mikey clarified, as he rolled his eyes.

Ray sighed.

“We’re,” Frank gestured to himself and Lux. “We were just talking about Shelly’s bra.”

Gerard glanced over to Shelly - she had settled on her back again, stretched out on the smaller of the two couches. She had one arm over her eyes and the other was resting on her stomach. Although, it took him a little while to notice that because his eyes lingered on her chest. He couldn’t help it! Her bra was actually quite visible through her white tank top. Which he swore she wasn’t wearing earlier. He’d remember it being so see through.

“Shut up Frank,” Shelly muttered. “Is that Ray I hear?”

“Hey Shell,” Ray took a seat in the single chair that looked like it was once part of a dining set. “Are you alright? What’re you doing here?”

“I was searching for somewhere quiet and cool to relax. It’s too hot and busy for me.”

Frank had been focused on Gerard for a few minutes, so he had seen where the singer’s gaze had lingered.

“Gerard’s here too,” Frank said. “But he’s been too busy trying to figure out the colour of your bra too. Which I still think is blue.”

Gerard went bright red.

“It’s purple!” Lux repeated, going pink herself.

Shelly removed her arm from covering her eyes and glanced around. “Oh, the gang is actually all here.”

Frank laughed a little at Shelly’s observation as he watched her cover her eyes with her arm again. Gerard, meanwhile, glanced around; checking to see if there was somewhere for him to sit. He didn’t really want to ask Shelly to move - she’d been here first after all, and she’d clearly found the best spot in the room for her needs. The best spot to stretch out in an attempt to cool off. A bit like when cats found the sunniest spot to sleep in, actually but… He’d much rather see her stretched out like that, than all curled up like a cat. Sure, maybe that was because of the shorts and the white tank top. Those definitely didn’t hurt. And that had been his thought before he let himself acknowledge the fact that he could see her bra through her top. Jesus. So, maybe he’d rather see her stretched out because of her clothing… Or maybe he’d rather see her stretched out because it meant that she was happy, comfortable and (hopefully) relaxed. That second reason sounded a bit… Lame, actually. It was true! He did like seeing her comfortable and happy! But he was also only human. And she was very attractive.

Asking her to move wasn’t an option to him - as much as he wanted to sit next to her. He wouldn’t even mind if she wanted to stay stretched out - he’d quite happily have her legs in his lap. Then again, he’d be more than willing to have her head in his lap too, or even her whole body… Like… Her sitting in his lap -  but he didn’t want to give those thoughts too much screen time because he knew he wouldn’t keep it PG if he did. And he really needed to not think about her like that. At least not right then at that second. He might allow himself a few minutes of inappropriate thoughts later on when she wasn’t around.

“Gerard,” Shelly grumbled quietly, making him jolt out of his head. “Sit down, I can tell that you’re still standing.”

“I’ll make room!” Lux offered quickly, standing up to allow the vocalist to sit in the spot closest to their tiny tour manager.

Frank snorted slightly as Gerard took Lux’s spot after a quick “you sure?” exchange. “And where are you gonna sit?”

“She can have my seat,” Mikey moved to stand up, but stopped when he saw Frank roll his eyes.

“Jesus,” Frank muttered. “Someone needs to just sit in someone’s lap, or something! Enough musical chairs.”

“Although,” Ray glanced over to Shelly. “I really, really would advise against asking the tiny one to move.”

Shelly huffed - more at the heat than at anything else (she didn’t mind the ‘tiny one’ comment from Ray, as she really was small compared to him). She sat up and fiddled with the hem of her tank top to knot it up under her bust to get it off of her skin. Once she was sort of happy with that, she flopped back down again.

Gerard glanced at her as soon as she huffed, and then continued to watch her as she fiddled with her clothes. Frank, still sitting in the middle on that couch, heard Gerard sigh softly as soon as her lyric tattoo was exposed by her fiddling with her top. Frank grinned at the vocalist, not that Gerard was paying any attention to him at all.

“You’re really suffering in this heat, aren’t you?” Frank asked gently.

The older Way next to him nodded (despite the fact that Frank had aimed the question more towards Shelly) at the same time Shelly whined. That little noise from the blonde made Gerard sink back into the sofa, trying really hard not to file that noise away for later.

“I’m not built for this,” Shelly grumbled.

“I don’t know,” Frank grinned as Shelly turned her attention to him. “You’re certainly built for wearing very little clothing.”

Gerard sank even further back into the couch, if that was at all possible, and decided to keep his mouth very, very shut on that matter.

“Quit aggravating her!” Lux tutted at Frank with a roll of her eyes, shifting from one foot to the other - she was still standing up, not having been brave enough to just, as Frank suggested, sit on someone’s lap.

Mikey reached forward and tugged at Lux’s clothing. When he’d gotten her attention, he gestured for her to share his spot. He figured that they were both tall and fairly skinny, so two of them would fit in the space sized for one regular person. Lux smiled and, quite happily, squeezed in with Mikey. He made sure that Lux had as much of the space as possible, nudging up against Frank in the middle a little bit. He wasn’t concerned about the warmth he might start to feel from being too close to Frank - he was just happy that Lux was close. Both of them were totally oblivious to the looks that most of the rest of the band exchanged. Because god forbid that anyone admit their feelings.

Ray had been studying the situations in front of him while all of this had been happening. He spent a little longer studying the small blonde before letting out a soft “hmmm” and leaving the room.

The others (except Shelly, who had her arm across her eyes again) glanced at their tallest guitarist, first as he got up and their eyes widened as he left. They looked at each other, all sort of mentally shrugged and then turned back to their previous conversation.

“Well, it’s a shame that it’s summer really, Shell,” Frank mused after a few minutes.

Shelly sighed. “I agree, but… I’ll bite -”

Gerard nibbled his bottom lip. Yeah, she could bite him if she wanted.

“Go on,” Shelly grumbled. “Why?”

Frank grinned. “Because if you were cold, Shell, most of us have really warm hands.”

Lux groaned, which Shelly heard and giggled at, while Mikey rolled his eyes.

“Keep your hands to yourself Frank,” Lux grumbled.

“I think she’ll chop them off right now if I don’t,” Frank said. “But you just wait until winter.”

Gerard coughed very slightly, starting to shrink back into himself a little.

“She doesn’t need your hands, Frank!” Lux retorted, her tone slightly sharper. She had noticed Gerard’s reaction and felt a little bad for him; it was never nice seeing someone flirt with someone you were interested in.

Frank looked at Lux and raised an eyebrow at her. “You offering yours?”

Lux hesitated, realising what she’d said, and how that might’ve come across, and, again, aware of Gerard sitting right there.

“Hmn!” She said eventually, figuring that her flirting with Shelly a little would probably be a bit better than Frank. “Maybe I am!”

All three men glanced at their drummer, and even Shelly tilted her head in the direction of Lux’s voice.

“Well,” Frank grinned widely. “I’ll yield to that if you’re gonna put your warm hands all over her.”

“Ugh,” Lux muttered. “It’s Shelly’s body, and only she can decide whose hands she wants all over her!”

Shelly giggled from her sofa. “If it’s that cold, and people’s hands are that warm, I’m not gonna be overly fussy, to be honest.”

Gerard perked up a tiny bit - that didn’t sound like she’d be against him volunteering to help warm her up… Sure it wasn’t her seeking him out specifically, but she wasn’t exactly excluding him either. So… That was something.

Frank grinned, Mikey shook his head and Lux just sighed. The drummer was a little annoyed that Shelly wasn’t picking up on the hints that she (Lux) was trying to put out/down. It wasn’t that she didn’t want Frank touching her friend, and it wasn’t that she wanted to feel Shelly up (although Lux wouldn’t be totally against that…) - but Lux had noticed how much Gerard quietened down and shrunk back every time Frank flirted with the blonde. Despite his stage persona, Gerard was just not that forward, not that brave. Especially when it came to Shelly.

The shorter guitarist looked at Lux as she sighed, before he looked at their singer. Gerard was fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt, while glancing up at Shelly every so often. Frank shook his head a little bit. The vocalist really did have hearts floating around his head every time he looked at the girl.

“Although,” Shelly pulled herself up into a sitting position before stretching a little bit (Gerard tried really hard not to stare at her when she did that). “I don’t know what Jamia’s gonna say about you putting your hands all over another woman, Frankie. Maybe it’s better that you keep your hands to yourself.”

“Yeah, Frank!” Lux relaxed a little. Maybe Shelly did pick up on the hints after all. Even if it was just a fraction, that would do.

Gerard smiled a tiny bit at this interaction.

“I’m sure she won’t mind,” Frank said with a pout.

“Dude,” Mikey sighed, nudging his glasses up to rub the bridge of his nose. “You already have a woman. You don’t get two. Don’t be greedy.”

“Yeah,” Lux nodded. “Some people don’t have one, so chill out.”

Frank pretended to huff, but before he could argue any more, Ray returned, looking a little… Rumpled. He handed out some bottles of water to everyone, ignoring the curious expressions.

“Miss Manager,” he said.

Shelly blinked rapidly at him and the offered bottle.

“Drink this please,” he said.

She smiled slightly, took the bottle from him with a raised eyebrow, but, ultimately, she did as she was told; twisting open the cap and taking a drink.

“Better?” Ray asked, his voice gentle.

“Mm hm, a bit, thank you.”

He nodded before going to sit in the chair he’d been in earlier. “Good.”

“Thanks dad!” Lux grinned at him, almost giggling at his splutter. It always startled him when she called him that. Still, as Frank had pointed out once, at least she didn’t call him ‘daddy’ - he’d nearly choked on his beer that day.

“Awww! Look at Band Dad looking after the kids! And looking after Band Mommy too,” Frank grinned, almost giggling at the looks shot his way.

“I’d threaten to punish you, but I think you’d enjoy it,” Shelly shot back at Frank, with a roll of her eyes.

Gerard bit the inside of his cheek as his brain decided to wander off with those words.

Frank puckered his lips at Shelly in a kissing motion. “What’re you gonna do Shell? Spank me?”

Ray sighed, got up and clipped Frank around the head. Lightly, but still enough for it to be felt.

“Ow!” Frank whined. “Dad!”

“Behave,” Ray sat back down. “Don’t be so crude. Give the woman a break.”

“Bless you for calling me a woman and not a girl, Ray,” Shelly smiled sweetly at him before blowing him a kiss.

Privately, Gerard thought that yes, Shelly was very, very much a woman. Clearly not a little girl. Clearly a full woman. And just… God damn.

“Why do you look like you’ve been in a scuffle?” Mikey asked, after peering at Ray for a moment.

The question caught Shelly’s attention. And Gerard’s actually. He even stopped half watching Shelly to look at Ray properly.

Ray looked a little sheepish when all of his band turned to scrutinise him. “Um. Well…I did get into a little bit of an altercation.”

“What?” Lux perked up. “Do we have to go and fight someone? Who’re we fighting?”

“Down BabyCat. You are very vicious,” Shelly said, turning her attention back to Ray. “Excuse you? Who do I have to have Words with?”

The band shared looks. Shelly’s version of “having words with someone” could be just as vicious as Lux’s actions.

“No, no! I’m fine!” Ray said quickly. “I was talking to a friend, asking a favour, and someone overheard and said something stupid, so they got a little…”

“Ruffled?” Frank suggested after a moment of Ray searching for the right word.

“Yeah!” He nodded. “They just got a little bit of a talking to.”

“A stern Dad Talk?” Mikey asked.

Shelly narrowed her eyes at Ray. “Okay. What are you not saying?”

“Who was it?” Lux asked again.

Ray hesitated, because they had clearly seen through him attempting to brush the finer details under the rug. As he’d expected, Shelly had been the first to properly call him out.

“How about you just tell us exactly what happened?” Gerard said, his voice quiet, calm and rather matter of fact. Not accusingly or anything.

“Like I said,” Ray started, sheepishly. “I was talking to a friend - I managed to get a fan for the bus for you, Shell. Hopefully that’ll help you deal with this heat a bit better.”

Shelly’s expression softened. “Thanks Ray.”

“And,” he continued. “I was asking him if I could do something in return, like a trade system thing -”

Shelly tilted her head as she listened.

“Makes sense,” Mikey nodded.

“And some idiot nearby must’ve heard most of the conversation,” Ray hesitated, clearly not really wanting to continue, but after a sigh, and a look from the blonde, he did. “And he said something like…”

“About something I could do in return, right?”

“Fucking pig!” Lux spat out.

Mikey pulled a face, agreeing with Lux. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but this was the main reason why he kept a closer eye on Lux. Not that she couldn’t take care of herself! Because she was very capable of that. But she was the youngest of their group, and another woman in a male dominated space. And, clearly, so many of these guys could be complete assholes.

Gerard huffed angrily from beside Frank, almost trembling in rage.

“Fucking what?” Frank hissed. He, like the others, hated this attitude anyway, but he was also super protective of Shelly because of how she took care of them all - especially him.

Shelly watched Ray nod, slowly and regretfully, in answer to her question, and she sighed.

“I might’ve gone for him,” Ray admitted quietly. “But I didn’t get far, as my friend grabbed me first.”

The blonde shook her head and pushed herself to her feet, untying her tank top and smoothing it out so it sat properly again.

“Well,” she said softly. “It’s not the first time someone’s said something like that, and I doubt it’ll be the last.”

“It shouldn’t fucking happen at all!” Gerard exploded. He’d raised his voice a bit, but he wasn’t yelling. “And it shouldn’t be a case of ‘oh well he wouldn’t say shit like that if you were our sister’ or something like that. How about you don’t make fucking disgusting comments like that about women in the first place?!”

The rest of the band stared at Gerard.

“She doesn’t have to go by that ‘oh she’s someone’s daughter’ thing to deserve some damn respect,” Gerard continued. “Why does everyone think she got her job on her knees anyway? Why is that the only answer to most of them?! Is it really that hard to believe that women can work just as hard if not harder than men in this industry?” He huffed for a moment. “And, more to the point, they often do work harder because of attitudes like that!”

Shelly had turned to look at him at the same time as the rest of the band. She blinked rapidly at him and tilted her head as she listened. When he looked up and noticed that she was looking at him, he went quite pink, and even pinker when she smiled a little.

Lux looked at Mikey, her eyes wide. She was still pretty much in his lap at this point, having been gently anchored to the couch by the bass player when she’d been getting excited about the prospect of a fight. While Mikey knew that everything Gerard had said was true, he looked just as surprised at his brother’s outburst. Normally the vocalist was a bit more subdued (but no less accurate) in voicing his opinion on the matter than he was during that outburst.

Ray and Frank glanced at each other before nodding in agreement. This wasn’t the first time Gerard had gotten like this, but it didn’t mean that they agreed any less. That was a sentiment that the whole band would share too, if you asked any of them.

“Why don’t you walk Shelly back to the bus?” Ray suggested. “It’ll allow her to cool down more without having people gawk at her, and you can make sure that she gets there without being harassed.”

Frank opened his mouth to make some kind of… Frank comment, but Lux shot him such a look he gulped down the words again.

Not that Shelly or Gerard noticed that. Or the looks the rest of the band kept sharing. She kept glancing from the others to him, back to whoever made a noise, or whoever said something, but she always ended up looking at Gerard again. Gerard, on the other hand, kept glancing up at her, and then back at his lap again.

“Um,” Gerard pushed himself off of the sofa and to his feet. “Um, yeah, sure, I can do that.”

Shelly smiled a little before going to grab her small bag. She had no complaints about this proposed plan. Of course not, why would she? Once she’d grabbed her bag, she shouldered it and waited for Gerard.

“Hold on,” he said, untying his hoodie from around his waist before he offered it to her.

She side eyed him a little, her eyes darting from the offered hoodie to his face.

“Just until we get there,” Gerard said.

“Okay, I guess, but why?” She took it, but still looked very confused.

“Um,” Gerard swallowed and avoided her eyes. “Well…”

“Your shirt is very see through Shell,” Frank finished for Gerard.

“I wouldn’t put it past someone to throw something on you to get it to be both clingier and more see through,” Ray added.

Gerard exhaled deeply through his nose, cross at the thought of someone doing that to her. But on the other hand… He tried really hard not to think about the results of those actions. 

“It’s days like this that I’m glad I’m not sexy,” Lux shook her head.

Mikey’s eyes widened at Lux’s words.

“Psh! Nonsense!” Shelly put Gerard’s hoodie on and zipped it up. “Yes, you are.”

Gerard watched her while she did that. He hoped he had a neutral, quiet expression on his face. Because his mind was very, very loud - seeing Shelly wearing his clothes like that.

“Nah,” Lux shook her head again. “I’m not. But! Let’s not worry about that right now. Go ahead, get out of here.”

Mikey squinted at Lux, his brain naturally and automatically disagreeing and arguing with her. Not that his mouth would go along with that right then; his mouth would stay quiet. He still couldn’t really decide if that was a good thing or not.

“Go on ahead Shell,” Ray nodded to the blonde. “We’ll catch up later on.”

“Hmn,” Shelly eyed him suspiciously for a moment, shouldering her bag again. After a minute, she shrugged. “You’ve got the other set of bus keys, right?”

Ray nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

“He is the responsible Band Dad after all,” Gerard said with a grin, moving to stand next to Shelly.

“Well, one of you has to be the other responsible one,” Shelly edged closer to Gerard, kinda surprised to see him wearing a regular t-shirt. If he had been wearing a long sleeved top, she would’ve been able to gently grab ahold of the sleeve. She was touchy feely like that sometimes.

“Hey!”

She giggled at the exclamation from multiple voices, and gently took Gerard’s hand. “C’mon, before they lynch me.”

“They wouldn’t dream of it,” he let her take the lead, definitely not complaining about her holding his hand. “See you later guys.”

The others waited until the door closed behind the other two and then for just a moment more. Frank then let out a groan before moving to sit on the couch Shelly had vacated.

“Jesus Christ, they are oblivious!”

“Well, I don’t know if she’s actually said anything to anyone about… Anything,” Ray tried to be diplomatic. “Like, how she feels. But we all know how he feels.”

“Oh, she likes -” Lux started, immediately stopping when her brain caught up with what she almost admitted. She could feel her cheeks starting to get warm because of her slip up.

The other guys looked at her.

“Miss Lux,” Ray tilted his head. “Do you know something?”

Frank tilted his head. “Or, are you just going off of her behaviour?”

“I don’t know if you can do that though,” Mikey said quietly. He was still sitting with Lux practically on his lap, despite the amount of freed up space - Frank had moved over when Gerard had gotten up. “Go off of her behaviour I mean. “She’s pretty affectionate with everyone. All of us anyway.”

Lux glanced around to see the three guys looking at her, clearly expecting some kind of answer. She hesitated for a moment before sighing. Truthfully, Lux did actually know how Shelly felt - the girls had had conversations about it before. Shelly had still been a little bit cagey about her feelings, not wanting to come out and say anything explicitly, just in case she was overheard but she still opened up just enough for Lux to get the picture. The thing was though, Lux didn’t want to outright say for definite how Shelly felt, just in case, so she decided that the best thing to do was to make it seem like she wasn’t positive.

“Listen,” she said quietly. “This doesn’t leave our circle. Okay?”

The three men nodded.

“I think that Shelly does actually like Gerard. Not just in the ‘he’s the favourite’ friendly kinda way.”

“Like, a romantic way?” Mikey clarified.

Lux nodded. “I… I think so.”

Frank looked at Lux, curiously. “Has she said something to you?”

“Frank,” Lux frowned at him, annoyed. “Do you honestly think I’d tell you if she had? You’d go and tattle!”

“I would not!” Frank pouted.

“It would be good for them to sort themselves out though,” Ray mused quietly.

“Gerard did nearly punch a guy for her after all,” Frank said.

“I think we’ve all nearly done that though,” Mikey said before nodding over to Ray. “You nearly did today!”

Ray just smiled.

“I would if I had the chance,” Lux added, smiling when the others nodded. Because she would - she’d fight for that girl.

“And,” Ray added. “We all remember having to hold Shelly back from, more than likely, badly hurting Bert.”

“That was hot though,” Frank said. “Little Miss Spitfire!”

“I’ll admit that I didn’t think that she had that in her,” Mikey said with a shake of his head.

Lux pouted. “I’m kinda gutted that I missed that.”

“But, it was probably better that you weren’t actually there; I don’t think we would’ve been able to hold both of you back,” Ray rubbed the back of his neck.

“Oh definitely, there’s no way I would’ve just stood there and let him say that shit about Shell.”

“We know,” Frank nodded with a smile. “We’re the same.”

“Especially Gerard,” Ray said with a grin.

Lux giggled. “Well, yeah, but we all know that.”

“He’s proven that by his reactions every so often,” Frank said with a nod.

“Not just by reacting to people saying things about her in front of us, but by the speeches he keeps giving,” Mikey added.

“Oh, like the one to us earlier?” Lux asked, getting nods. “It clearly really annoys him. But is that because it’s aimed at Shell, or does it annoy him in general?”

“It annoys him in general,” Ray said. “He’d feel that way even if Shell wasn’t around.”

Mikey nodded. “Yeah, we kinda had that attitude installed in us by our grandma. Respect and all of that.”

“So he’s double annoyed because not only is it an attitude he doesn’t like, it’s an attitude towards the girl he’s crushing on?” Lux said with a nod.

“Exactly,” Ray nodded. “It’s a feeling we all share so the mood surrounding it is amplified.”

“Speaking of crushing,” Frank shook his head. “Why can’t they see what we can? Or at least, why can’t she see it? We know he’d never believe it.”

“She’s being professional,” Lux said. “She loves her job, remember?”

“That covers her behaviour,” Frank replied. “Like, why she hasn’t made a move, why she’s not reading into things -”

“He’s said that he doesn’t want to risk losing her,” Mikey said from his spot with Lux. “He’d rather have her around as she is, with him pining a little bit, than not have her in his life at all.”

“He doesn’t want her to go and work for someone else either,” Ray added. “I think that’s the main reason he falls back on. He keeps saying that he doesn’t want the band to lose her.”

“I mean,” Mikey tilted his head. “She works so hard for us, having her go and put all that effort into another band? That would really suck.”

“She wouldn’t leave us though, would she?” Lux asked before her voice dropped in volume a bit, exposing a bit of her vulnerable, squishy centre. “I mean, I don’t think… I don’t think she’d leave me…”

“She wouldn’t want to,” Frank said quietly and genuinely. He recognised that Lux was opening up a little bit, and while she was pretty comfortable with them now, she didn’t do that very often. “She’d try and cope if it was a bit awkward, and see how long she could cope for. She’d hold on for as long as she could.”

“Yeah,” Ray nodded. “She really adores us as a band, she really believes in us and what we stand for.”

“She really loves you though,” Frank said to Lux.

“Are you just saying that?”

He shook his head and Lux snorted.

“I don’t know if I believe you.”

“You forget that she and I spend a lot of time together when she’s looking after me when I’m sick. We talk a lot during those times, about a lot of things. And, almost every time you come up in conversation, Shelly says something like…” Frank paused to try and quote Shelly directly. “She says something like; ‘I love that girl and I will fight anyone about it’ - which scares me a little, as I’ve seen her start a fight.”

Lux studied him for a moment.

“I agree with Frank,” Ray said quietly. “She really does love you. She’s so very protective of you.”

“You’re just as protective of her too,” Mikey added.

“Sometimes it feels like you’re more protective of her than we are,” Frank said.

“I suppose I can hit more people than you guys,” Lux said after some thought. “I can hit girls who start and I can hit guys. You guys can’t really go for the girls.”

“That’s fair,” Ray nodded. “You’re not picky about who you’ll go after if they hurt someone you care about.”

“That’s right!” Lux beamed before turning to Mikey. “Look, I know he’s your brother, and the band’s lead man, but if he hurts her -”

“He’ll have a line of people after him,” Mikey said with a small nod. “Don’t worry. He doesn’t get special treatment. I’m not gonna stick up for him just because he’s my brother - especially if he’s actually in the wrong.”

“If anything,” Frank said. “He’s under double scrutiny; he has even less of a pass.”

“And considering he doesn’t have a pass anyway,” Ray added.

“None of you get a pass,” Lux looked around at the three men. “If any of you hurt her, I will come for you.”

They all nodded solemnly.

“We don’t plan on doing that Lux,” Ray said. “We promise.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want to have to break anything for any of you,” Lux smiled as innocently as she could manage.

The group fell quiet for a little bit, enjoying the coolness of the room, because of course Shelly had been right; of course she’d picked somewhere that would’ve fitted her needs at the time.

“Do you think if we give them enough time alone, one of them might say something?” Mikey asked the room.

“We give them a lot of time alone and no-one’s done anything yet,” Ray shook his head.

“Yeah, but he might accidentally say something while she’s…” Frank paused. “While she’s scantily dressed. He might be so distracted by her bra and her legs and all of that skin that he forgets his filter.”

Lux rolled her eyes and shook her head at Frank’s words, although she wouldn’t deny that he had a point. Shelly could be quite distracting sometimes; Lux definitely agreed with that. She was a little guilty of having a wandering eye when Shelly was involved. Especially if the blonde was wearing a little less than normal or a lower cut top. The drummer was not immune to Shelly’s particular… Charms.

Not that Lux would ever admit to Frank being right. Nor would she really admit to (sometimes) being no better than a man when it came to their tiny tour manager. Not that Shelly minded - she’d said so once or twice when the girls had been sharing a room. Despite the fact that Lux essentially had permission to gaze at Shelly like that, she still felt a little… Nervous about it. She didn’t think she was going to stop, but she also wasn’t going to be obvious about it. 

Especially not in front of Frank. And maybe Gerard. Poor boy had enough to deal with, with Frank flirting with his crush all the time, he didn’t need the reminder that Shelly played for both teams. Not just because that might be a distracting thought, but also because that might make him feel even more like he didn’t have a chance with her. Which was such a lie, because he totally did.

“How likely do you think that might happen?” Frank asked Mikey, breaking the silence they’d fallen into for a few minutes.

“Um,” Mikey shifted in his seat. “It’s not impossible. I know we’ve given him the idea that she might have similar feelings.”

“He’s listened to us, has he?” Frank raised an eyebrow.

“Well,” Mikey scratched his neck. “Yeah, of course he’s listened. He doesn’t believe a word of it, but I know he’ll take things on board. They'll stick in the back of his mind and linger.”

“I know I’ve tried to coax Shelly into opening up to him,” Lux said before remembering that she was supposed to be pretending that she wasn’t sure how Shelly felt. “If she has any kinda feelings for him, I mean.”

Frank side-eyed the drummer. He didn’t believe that she was unsure about how Shelly felt, he thought that she knew for definite. But, he wasn’t gonna call her out - he understood that Shelly would’ve told Lux in confidence. Even if she never planned on doing anything, Shelly might’ve felt better just telling someone. They all knew that Shelly valued loyalty and trust, but he didn’t think that she would be mad that Lux had let slip about the blonde’s feelings for the vocalist. Especially not if they could all encourage the pair to get their acts together and just… Confess how they felt about each other, to each other. The rest of the band could see it, the rest of the band didn’t have a problem with it; hell, they all wanted the two to get together. They just needed to get on and do it.

“They would be so cute together,” Lux shook her head slightly, having noticed Frank’s side eye. “They’re so perfect for each other!”

“As much as I hate to admit it,” Frank said before letting out a soft sigh. “You’re right there. They are perfect for one another.”

“She brings out a lot of good in him,” Mikey added. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look at someone the way he looks at her.”

“That’s kinda gross, to be honest,” Frank pulled a face jokingly before shaking his head.

“I think I’ve seen her look at him the same way though,” Lux continued to at least try to pretend that she didn’t know anything for certain. “She’s normally so smart. I wish she would just continue to use that big brain of hers.”

“Not just a big brain she has,” Frank grinned.

Lux looked around for something to throw at him, and, when she didn’t find anything, started to get up to go and hit the guitarist. Mikey grabbed at her to stop her.

“Leave it Lux,” Mikey said quietly. “I don’t think Shell would be impressed if we went back to the bus after having been fighting each other.”

She huffed but did as she was told before turning back to Frank. “Don’t be so crude!”

Frank giggled, mostly at Mikey holding Lux back and at Lux doing as she was told. Normally she only really listened to Shelly, so to see her listen to someone else was amusing to him. Actually, seeing her listen to anyone at all was funny.

“I mean it!” Lux continued, frowning at Frank’s giggle. “She doesn’t need or deserve to be objectified all the time!”

“She likes it though.”

“Not all of the time,” Lux shook her head. “Just like… Give the girl a break?”

“She’s not even here!”

“That’s not the point!”

“Well!” Ray said, a little louder than normal in an attempt to get the other two to stop, bickering a bit. “Enough of all that! Let’s get back to the matter at hand, shall we?”

“Which was trying to get Gee and Shelly to get their acts together,” Mikey said with a nod as Lux and Frank huffed a bit between them. “Via more encouragement and time alone together.”

“Yeah,” Ray nodded. “All we can do is try, right? Try and give them as much time as we can and just hope it works.”

The others nodded. There really wasn’t a lot else they could do, except maybe lock them both in a room until they were forced to talk, but they knew that Shelly wouldn’t like that. She’d feel betrayed, trapped and uncomfortable. And that was the last thing they wanted.

“Yeah,” Frank shook his head. “Let’s just hope they get their acts together before we have to properly intervene!”

“Because nobody wants that!”

[the-chosen-fanfiction]

Gaius | Against The Current | Platonic [Male reader]

Dialogue prompt: "I get it. For real."

You find common ground with your Primi as you stand guard.

Requested by: J Bart

The tent city grows by the day in spite of Praetor Quintus’ orders, and you fear that some time soon his anger regarding it will reach a breaking point. The encampment is starting to burst at the seams and the amount of Roman troops present around Capernaum are hardly enough to contain it. Coupled with the Primi Ordinae’s indecisiveness regarding the situation makes it so that you don’t make a move to do something about it, either. 

Gaius stands beside you with a look on his face you’ve been seeing on him a few times recently, and you wonder what it means. His hand rests on the hilt of his gladius as he stands with pursed lips, overlooking the encampment whilst keeping an eye on the pilgrims. You are aware there are certain rules for them to adhere to, but neither of you enforce them, knowing when to pick your battles. It would be like emptying the ocean with a thimble and you aren’t keen on wasting your time. Besides, you’ve overheard the sermon on the Korazim Plateau as well, when the Primi had asked you to accompany him there, and you had been touched by the words that were said by the very Messiah these pilgrims are pursuing. 

It’s worlds apart from what you are used to. The Roman deities seem to be more keen on vengeance as well as seemingly assisting those who seek them out of sheer arbitrariness. And then, everything you thought you knew from the Rabbis you’ve overheard from time to time while patrolling seems to be very much different from what Jesus preaches.

Turning the other cheek and praying for your enemies is not something you ever expected to be heard from Someone Who lives under Roman oppression. Part of you is almost offended that He expects His followers to display some kind of weak naiveté, as if said enemies would repent because of their passive behaviour in some way. You shake your head, unsure as to why you even care, for after all, you’re a Gentile, a Roman soldier whose only duty is to the Roman Empire and the plethora of gods that–

“Centurion?” You’re snapped out of your thoughts as Gaius suddenly addresses you, and you turn to him with a questioning look.

“Yes, Primi?”

He gives you an expectant look. “Did you hear what I said?”

You swallow. “No, sir. Apologies.”

Gaius lets out a long sigh. “I asked what you think of this.” He nods towards the pilgrims. You blink in slight confusion as you straighten your back. Your armour slightly stresses under the movement as you rest your hand on the hilt of your sword. 

“I don’t know.”

Gaius narrows his eyes unconvinced. “Humour me.”

When you realise he will not drop the subject, you avert your gaze back to the pilgrims. Your eye falls on a man struggling to make fire. A woman in the background is hanging her laundry to dry. It seems she failed to get out a particularly tough stain.

“Honestly? I think Jesus’ words hold weight. I mean, why else would someone leave everything behind in order to pursue Him and willingly live on the streets for weeks? They’ve been here for almost a month now and Jesus hasn’t been sighted in quite some time. Why bother otherwise?” You’re stating the obvious. Gaius exhales once again. 

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean?” 

The Primi gestures for you to walk with him as you continue your patrol around the perimeter of the encampment. In momentary silence, the two of you observe the pilgrims. 

“People are bringing their sick children. Risk the journey all the way over here in spite of the danger, and I can’t help but wonder why they’d do something so perilous only to catch a glimpse of Him.”

“There are whispers that Jesus is healing the sick and the lame.” you tell Gaius. He purses his lips and nods. 

“Right.” says Gaius, “And from what I’ve gathered…” 

He trails off, but you know what he wants to convey. In spite of your attempts of pushing it away, it’s tugging at your heartstrings too, that this Miracle Worker seems to be no mere magician.

You ponder for a moment. “I’m not married nor do I have children. But if I had an ill child and no other choice but to travel all the way across the land, if this Jesus of Nazareth was my last resort, I think it would be in my parental instincts to at least try it out. At some point, I bet one has little left to lose.”

Gaius’ eyes flicker with something and you wonder if it would be considered rude to pry. After all, the man is a rank above you.  “Well, unlike you, I am married and I do have a son.” Gaius tells you, although it’s no new information, “Sons.” he corrects himself, which you find an awfully odd mistake to make in the first place, but you decide to not question him.

“So, what’s it like? To be a father, I mean?”

A bittersweet flash crosses his face and you’re almost inclined to throw caution to the wind and ask about it anyway. “It’s a blessing.” he mutters, “But then, it can be a curse as well.” 

At this admittance, your frown turns a little deeper. “A curse?”  you parrot, and something in Gaius’ gaze changes, as if he regrets calling it that way. He hums and turns to you, halting in his step. A little away, a baby starts to cry, causing the words to get stuck in the Primi’s throat and both of you to look at the unfolding scene before you.

The mother of the child shushes her infant, holding it close against her chest as she presses her lips to its forehead. As she rocks it back and forth gently, she casts an anxious glance your way, as if you’d walk up to her and arrest her for disturbing the peace and making too much noise in public. Something akin to guilt tugs at your heart, for you realise the effect your presence has on people like her, as well as the pain your people have caused theirs, and are causing still. 

“Children can be a vulnerability.” Gaius explains. “One day, you may hold your child for the first time, and you will realise just how much they depend on you, and everything within your instincts will make you want to give them everything they could ever desire. A dangerous love sometimes, one that could be used against you.” 

“I never took you for a pessimist.” The comment is meant in good humour, but it doesn’t land the way you intend it to, causing the two of you to look at one another in heavy silence. Gaius starts to walk again, and you follow suit. 

“I am being realistic is all.” Gaius says. “What I am trying to say, is that it means that you suddenly live for something else. Before I had children, I lived only for myself. For my wife as well, of course, but otherwise I often only thought about myself. And now, I get it. For real. Their determination to chase what is needed in favour of their children, no matter the cost.” 

There is more to Gaius’ words than meets the eye, that much is clear. The two of you circle the camp with a slow pace, hands folded on your back, as you ponder what he said. 

“But what I don’t quite yet understand,” you start, “What does this have anything to do with Jesus? I get it that fatherhood will awaken certain instincts within a man, certainly. However, there are others who do not have children, yet have travelled all the way here to meet Jesus. There are people who are here for themselves.” 

“This is not about parenthood,” Gaius clarifies, but there is an edge to his tone that teeters on emotional, as if he’s trying to hold back his frustration, or desperation, or something else altogether. “This is about… Well, redemption, I suppose. People are seeking redemption from maladies, and I understand why they’d risk everything to get to it.” 

For a moment, you try to weigh your options in what is appropriate to ask. Gaius is your superior, but there is something in his eyes that you know he wouldn’t show to just anyone. Perhaps it is the heat of the moment that has him on the precipice of tears, perhaps it is a momentary lapse of reason that he opens up to one of the men under him, but whatever it is, you don’t wish to waste it. You like the Primi and his calm demeanour, appreciating his reservedness and what that means about him revealing this side of him to you. Perhaps you could even start saying that the two of you are friends.

“This is personal.” you remark, and Gaius’ face snaps to yours at how void of judgement you are at his vulnerability. “There is something about Jesus that touches you on an emotional level. It has to do with your children, but to you as well.” 

The Primi closes his eyes and exhales. “I… We shouldn’t talk about this on the job.” 

You shrug. “We could meet at The Hammer later tonight?” The kind smile that spreads over your face has Gaius sigh in what sounds like defeat, although it does not represent at all what he feels. It is refreshing to him that someone is interested enough to listen.

“I need to go home after duty.” 

“Trouble with the wife?” you mean it in a lighthearted way, but Gaius’ does not mirror your smile. Yours falls upon realising this, and you wonder if you’ve overstepped a boundary. “I apologise, sir. I did not mean to impose on your privacy, nor did I mean to appear like I’m not taking you seriously—” 

“—It’s fine.” Gaius cuts you off. “It’s alright. No offence taken. My ah… One of my sons, Ivo… He’s been ill for a long time.” 

Both pity and confusion appears on your face, for you feel bad for the situation of Gaius’ son, and at the same time, Ivo isn’t a Roman name. Gaius must be able to read it on your face, for his shoulders slightly slump as he realises your puzzlement.

“You see, the situation at home is that Marius and Ivo—” 

“—I won’t ask.” This time, you are the one talking over Gaius. Gratitude glitters in his eyes. The Primi has been sticking his neck out enough as is for all the things he has been saying to you, and you don’t want to pressure him to reveal any more than he wants to, nor does he desire to lose his job over something what was supposed to be casual smalltalk.

“Do you think that Jesus of Nazareth would take pity on us?” There is so much emotion in his voice that you are almost inclined to put a hand on his shoulder. After a moment of hesitating, you do so, and squeeze it.

“We are Romans. We have hurt His people.” As you state this matter-of-factly, you can see the cogs in Gaius’ head start to turn. After all, you do not immediately shut him down for entertaining such a thought, something that other centurions might have laughed about. You seem to understand him. “I think He would.” you finally add. Tension leaves Gaius’ form as your words hit him. “I have seen Jesus’ sermon, too. If He puts into practise what He preaches, then it would only make sense that He would.” 

Gaius inhales deeply before he continues, “I suppose I should consider asking Jesus about Ivo. No healer has been able to get him better up to this point.” You smile and once again squeeze his shoulder before letting your hand fall back onto the pommel of the sword strapped to your hip. 

Suddenly, you are overcome by the urgency to say words that form on your tongue without you realising it, and you speak them before you can even comprehend what they might mean.

“The worst He can say is no. You have little left to lose, and everything to gain.”

Silence again. The Primi halts in his step.  “You are right.” he tells you. “Thank you.” 

“For what?” 

“For listening.” 

The two of you share a meaningful look that can mean nothing more but the start of a blooming friendship. “You’re welcome.” you tell him. “Let me know what you decide to do. And how things go, too.”

“I shall keep that in mind.” Gaius muses, smiling a little. “But I do have a question.” 

“Go on.” 

“Why are you not trying to stop me? To chastise me in some way for… Taking interest in this Jewish doctor?” You can tell he is choosing his words carefully, but you don’t blame him for it. 

“Because, as you put it,” you reveal with a small grin, “I have ‘taken an interest’ in this Jesus as well.” 

Before Gaius can inquire about it, you continue your patrol in front of him, and you hear his footsteps quickly walk up to you as you head out before him.

“Where are you going?” 

“We are on duty.”

“Hold on— What did you mean by your interest in Him, and what did that smile mean?” 

You stop in your tracks and pivot towards your superior, someone who has surprised you in the most positive sense of the word today.

“Let’s talk about it over a mug of ale at The Hammer some day soon. My treat.”

Gaius takes in your words for a moment, and then smiles.

“Alright,” he says, a soft chuckle leaving him. “I think that is a good idea.” 

At that, you continue your patrol around the encampment of the pilgrims. You choose to ignore Quintus’ behest.

[incorrecttowerofgodquotes]

Gundam: The Witch from Mercury Season 2 Episode 4 Review

- So much happened in this episode and so there will be a lot of talking in this review. Most of it will be fawning over the characters cause there was so many amazing moments with a wide variety of them.

- Secelia and Rouji continue to be trapped inside the dueling committee room. The interactions between these two are so sweet. When Secelia asks if Rouji is leaving, he throws the question back at her, implying that he won’t leave as long as she stays. It’s also great to see Secelia so dedicated to her duty. She spent most of the first season just hanging around but now she’s really taking up the mantle to support the other kids

- Shaddiq continues to be a total loser. I hope to god he loses the election. His harem also continues to just blindly follow them. Even Sabina, who tries to paint herself as an equal to Shaddiq, is just another follower at the end of the day. There’s looking to make the world a better place, and then there’s getting 12 innocent students killed in a terrorist attack that only worsened relations between Earth and space.

- Nika is a precious bean. She refuses to take the easy route of just giving into a higher power. She wants to do things herself, her way, which means no undue suffering upon others. She refuses to be a victim or victimize anyone, unlike Belmeria

- Now, I’ve been a staunch supporter of Belmeria from the beginning, I thought she was just a poor woman forced into helping the enhanced children. However, knowing that she was the one who created them in the first place and caused their suffering really changed my mind. As El5n said perfectly in this episode, she just wanted to save herself, and now that she’s being forced to confront the horror of her actions, she just cowers and tries to shift the blame. Her helping the Earth House group seems to be her trying to seek atonement, but that doesn’t work when there are still people being actively hurt by her actions, like El5n and all the other kids who are being experimented on to replace him

- Really interested in that two second scene with Felsi. Her looking at the destroyed Dilanza with a resolute expression has got me intrigued, especially since the voice over from Secelia makes it seem like she’ll be vying for the Holder title. If not, then I want her to become a friend to Earth House. My FelChu shipping will not cease. I hope she doesn’t do anything too drastic. Especially now that Guel is back

- Poor Lauda. Dude has head trauma and is still being forced to work just to keep the Jeturk family afloat. Him passing out after seeing Guel really shows just how much stress he was under. He didn’t have any time to grieve his father’s death and was left wonder where his brother was, all while dealing with accusations that Jeturk was responsible for the terrorist attack. He desperately needs a rest and a happy ending

- Petra is such a sweetie. She’s staying by Lauda’s side and helping him with work despite just being a mechanic. She’s changed from just being a schoolyard bully. She’s resolutely helping the person she loves. And now Guel left her in charge of Lauda for real.

- Speaking of Guel. THE BOY IS BACK IN TOWN! The true wild card has made his appearance and he’ll be fucking up all of Shaddiq and Prospera’s plans, but how? Will he run in the election and finally get a W? Or is he going to become the scapegoat? His words to Petra seem to imply that. Will he take on all the responsibility of the terrorist attacks to clear Lauda and the rest of the Jeturk family? After all, he now has connections to Dawn of Fold through Olcott. God, I just want him to be happy. He’s stepping onto a corporate battlefield, but hopefully his sudden appearance will shake up everything

- El5n, my baby girl, I’m crying at what he’s going through. Seeing the large amount of people saying that the scene with him and Eri was satisfying honestly makes me mad. He’s probably the character that’s suffering the most, because he has no one. No one is on his side. All everyone’s ever done to him is torture him. And the one person who would be able to understand him, El4n, is dead, not even a force ghost like Eri. He’s outright threatened with murder and all he can do is smile and pretend everything’s all right. The fact that after experiencing such a horrible violation of his mind, he snaps back to his happy personality in front of Belmeria is tragic. It’s only when she starts playing the victim that he finally snaps and beats her ass, letting out the anger and suffering that’s been building inside him for years. He was tortured, experimented on, and then robbed of his very existence. He’s forced to act nice when all he really wants is to punch the fuck out of everyone. He carries the same hatred and resentment Norea has, but unlike her, he can’t act on it. There’s nowhere for it to go but inside. He needs help.

- Earth House is the best group of people I’ve ever met, and I want Prospera to keep her dirty fucking hands away from them or I’ll give her another bionic arm. Chuchu is righteously worried and angry about what happened, and wants Nika’s name cleared, but she also won’t rush in blindly. She trusts Miorine to do the right thing. Martin is finally standing up as leader, ready to protect his group from harm. The latest attacks have shown him that he needs to become a leader. And finally, my boy Till is the number one SuleMio shipper and I love him. He pushes Suletta to act all without saying a word. I hope he continues to support her, as his quiet and non confrontational can help Suletta reach an answer by herself.

- That greenhouse is the destroyer of relationships. No love can be found amongst the tomatoes. But the fact that Miorine cut off Shaddiq’s unripe tomato but works to keep Suletta’s is so sweet. She truly loves her and wants nothing but the best. Before Suletta came, she had only been fighting for herself, but now she’s fighting for Suletta, GUND-ARM, and everyone’s futures. I can only hope we see a bountiful harvest

- Suletta needs a cult deprogrammer stat. She’s willing to give up her own wants and dreams for her mother. To Suletta, her mom is always doing good so if she tells her to kill or stop something, it’s obviously because that’s the right thing to do. Much like Elan, she’s lost her identity and is meant to act as a replacement. A replacement for the daughter Prospera lost.

- Eri is stuck in that Gundam, waiting to be freed. The only company she has is the many clones of herself and Suletta whenever she gets in the pilot seat. But once she hits Permet 8, she’ll be able to escape into space, or she’ll take over Suletta’s body. The ending is suddenly even more haunting. The loss of Suletta’s hairband perhaps signifies her transforming into Eri. Eri’s line to El5n that he can’t come in may be because he isn’t the vessel she’s looking for.

- Prospera is a terrifying woman. Once she realizes her bullshit doesn’t work on Miorine, she immediately flips the script and starts blaming Miorine and her father. And while yes Delling is an evil asshat, Miorine is entirely blameless, just like Suletta. But Prospera doesn’t see it that way. For her, everything is cyclical. As long as the blood of Delling runs through her veins, then Miorine is just as guilty as he is. The PTSD and survivor’s guilt she’s suffering from is pushing her into committing atrocities. She’s cut herself off from every emotional attachment but Eri. She’s a tragic person, lost in her grief, but that’s doesn’t excuse the actions she’s taken. She an adult. A grown woman who can make her own decisions, and she chose to hurt innocent people. Prospera deserves sympathy, but nothing more.

I don’t think I’m ready for next episode. There are so many moving pieces and each one affects the other. I’m hoping my boy Guel can clinch the win over Shaddiq and Prospera, but that still won’t help Miorine, Suletta, or El5n. These children should have received nothing but unconditional love but each one has been forced into the cruel world of adults. I can only hope they make it out safely.

[roxy206]

Lost In Scott’s Eyes With Trixie & Katya — 09/05/2023

watch here | listen here

Listennnnn I am so damn behind & I am usually big on catching up in order but I simply MUST watch this pod episode today!! Also I’m fighting the urge to fall asleep before 8:30pm so I can’t make any promises that this post won’t be unhinged

Katya looks so cuuuuuute stoppppp

Okay but the background decor 🥺

Well, who’s here to fuck me?

I think you can though! — I love her so much. The laughhhhhh

This honestly just might turn into me gushing about how much I love these two idiots & how much I’ve missed themmmmm

Ohh, shut up. Shut up. Shut up, you whore

Omg Trixie bringing up SVU … you know what, what I was going to say could be an entire post on its own so nevermind

I don’t think we should touch each other at work — I know what she means but out of context this is so funny bzzt bzzt

High key curious what this training was though because it sounds way more comprehensive & useful than any training I’ve had at any job

My job as a drag queen is to give you that moment where you see queer sexuality screamed into a microphone … to offset the rest of the 23 hours a day when you’re in straight spaces where it’s like, y’know? Don’t let them know you’re gay, they might burn you at the stake

I find I’m more entertaining off camera than I am on We all think so

Yesterday I was at your house off camera. Was it yesterday? Two days ago?

I was like, god she is funny — 🥹

Please send help because why does it make me so fucking giddy that Trixie is asking Katya about something so mundane as CORD MANAGEMENT. It’s just so fucking domestic

Are you pursuing a romance? No, sex

Oh my god, this face, this face

You give that heart away & you know you can take it back on your own terms — !?! !!!

Katya presenting Trixie with the award 😭😭😭

Why is Trixie giving Katya a gift 😭

I am so sorry to my neighbors for the amount of screaming I have done during this episode already

I’m so horny for this

I thought this was your color but I guess it’s a little brassy

It gives Good Burger It gives bad burger. It gives horrible burger

Stoppppp both of them defending that the other is just outright hot PLEASE

Oh! I’m gonna love this! — 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Perhaps it was a gesture of friendship & love? — what if I cry. What if I cry.

THE BIRD BOOK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh my gosh. I’m gonna love this

I’m having feelingssssssss

It’s really amazing & I really appreciate you — WHAT IF I CRYYYY THIS IS SO FUCKING SWEET

I am about to lose it over this candle 🥹

I’ve been vulnerable

I also need to tell the people about what happened when you came over on Saturday — fucking loving this hanging out for enjoyment & friendship era

No but Katya always being the one Trixie turns to when she’s having a rough time 🥺🥺🥺

I need to come over & cry — 🥺🥺🥺

I said, come right away, I’ll get the tea ready She said, I’ll come get you — 😭😭😭 come on

Trixie is really fucking going through it with s2 huh

That stuff doesn’t work on me anymore. I just wouldn’t put myself in those situations

You made me watch Dune the other day

Not Katya saying “mid”

I think you’re right I know I’m right

Pleaaaaase Trixie teasing Katya 🥹

Oh my god the pod is my favorite fucking thing 💕💕💕

[since0202]

Taking Time—Forty Nine

Where there's a Will, there's a way

Word count: 6486

I’ve always thought I was a great communicator. My highschool and college essays can attest to that according to my teachers. My parents would say that they’ve never not known how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking. My friends came to me for advice, so sure that I would shoot them straight while being mindful of their feelings. I’m easy to understand even if I might be hard to read sometimes. Well, at least according to Paul I can be hard to read. But this…this is new territory. I’ve never left something unsaid and opted for something physical to work out an issue rather than talk it through. But this last month or so has got me thinking—maybe I don’t need to say anything at all. 

July’s heat did nothing to slow down the month. It passed in a whirlwind for Maya, tangled and sweaty and persistent in Paul’s grasp. Maya didn’t think she’d ever had so much sex in her entire time with Paul combined compared to this last month or so. He was everywhere all of the time and she honestly preferred it to the silent distant thing they were doing before. 

The intensity of the pack’s rounds had finally died down after Becks had had Ephriam. Jacob was more willing to work with the Cullens after he understood their intentions and the help was welcomed by all. They were more effectively able to scout the perimeter with the Cullens’ help and gain insight into the goings-on of the Volturi with a quick call to Alice Cullen. 

Relaxed rounds meant a more relaxed Paul. Maya was able to move about the reservation as she pleased without a chaperone and Paul resumed his trips to Seattle for client work. Things were almost back to normal. Almost. 

Paul and Maya had refused to talk about anything related to their most recent fight—the one where Paul said she had to stay on rez next semester. Maya thought maybe he had let it go or wrote it off as a heat of the moment kind of thing and was hoping she would forget. But, he’d continued to make the odd comment at pack dinners like: “We’ll be able to run baby interference at the bonfire this fall.” and “Did Keye have to stay in the dorms her first semester at UW?” 

Maya would raise an eyebrow but not pursue the questions further than their answers given from their intended recipient. The statements were just vague enough that he might have been speaking for only himself or out of curiosity, but something gnawed at Maya—the unresolved conflict squatting in her belly and rearing its ugly head every once in a while. 

That horrible feeling would temporarily evaporate however whenever she and Paul found themselves alone. The silence would hang in the air between them, Maya would put her pen down after revising yet another internship application, and Paul would cross the room, or pull the car over, or hoist her up onto the counter and clear her mind of any little thing she was thinking about. He had an uncanny ability to do that and Maya felt herself craving the connection of the imprint more and more. As if at any moment that good feeling would run out. Maya was aware that there was indeed a clock ticking down on their time to have the conversation, but right now she couldn’t bring herself to say anything. 

“So…seems like you two are back to normal,” Becks said one late August afternoon as she sat leaned up against the headboard while breastfeeding Ephriam. Maya was laying on her stomach across the massive bed after finishing putting away a massive amount of laundry in Becks’ room. 

“Mmm,” Maya replied noncommittally, hoping the afternoon storm promised would arrive and lull her off to sleep. She could feel Becks’ eyes on her but Maya refused to make eye contact. Were they back to normal? No. But this was better than whatever was happening before. They were…going in circles, avoiding the thing they dreaded most. 

“Are you staying then?” Becks asked. If Maya didn’t know any better, she’d think there was a hint of hope in her voice. She finally folded her arms under her chin and looked up at Becks. Ephriam was sucking away contentedly, his eyes closed as he drifted off toward sleep and Becks looked like the picture of happiness. Maya sighed. 

“You know I can’t,” she finally said after a long pause. Becks nodded somewhat sad and then forced a smile. 

“I know. But Paul is going to be—,” Becks started. 

“Paul will be fine,” Maya said quickly, hoping to shut down the conversation. She realized she wasn’t ready to have this conversation, not even with Becks. The thought of what might happen when she actually left for Columbia in a few short weeks was too nerve wracking to even think about. 

“Maya,” Becks said in that soft, comforting mothering tone she’d always had but had just recently fully leaned into. Maya groaned in response. “Fine, we won’t talk about it.” 

“Thank you,” she sighed in relief, closing her eyes again. 

“Kim’s pregnant,” Becks blurted out. Maya’s eyes snapped open and she pushed herself up onto her knees. 

“What?!” Maya nearly screeched. Becks quickly cupped her hand over Ephriam’s ear and winced. “Sorry,” Maya whispered. “What the fuck? When did that happen?” 

“She just told me a couple of days ago. They’re waiting until the next pack dinner to announce it. But I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer,” Becks was trying to contain her excitement and Maya was trying to quell her dread. 

“I thought she was on birth control? And how has Jared not fucking spilled the beans yet?” Maya continued whispering. 

“He told Jacob when Kim told me and so Jacob decided to give him some time off of rounds to be with Kim,” Becks shifted Ephriam in her arms and he started suckling with fervor in response. “As far as the birth control thing goes, I had no idea they were trying to get pregnant. Or when Kim got off of birth control. But…she seems really happy.” 

“So do you,” Maya couldn’t help pointing out. Becks pulled a face, a cool ‘So what?’ look that Maya rolled her eyes at. 

“I think Sadie might be too,” Becks whispered almost conspiratorially. 

“WHAT?!” Maya full blown shouted in surprise. Ephriam squeezed his eyes tight and started to fuss. She immediately felt bad as Becks curled her body over Ephriam, swapping him over to her other breast and attempting to rock and soothe him back toward sleep. “Fuck, I’m sorry.” Maya whispered. Becks shook her head, waving her off. 

“It’s fine,” Becks whispered back, her eyes glued to her son. She smiled warmly as he calmed and returned to feeding. “I have no proof—just a feeling. They’re moving the wedding up by a few months and Seth’s been…more sentimental with Ephy lately. It’s probably nothing and maybe it’s just me selfishly hoping everyone gets baby fever so that it’s not just me and Emily in the trenches,” she joked. Maya swallowed hard and backed off of the bed. “It’s just a joke, My.” Becks said seeing the look on Maya’s face. 

“Yeah, I know,” she replied, her voice a little higher pitched than normal. She tried to straighten out the soft knit blanket across the bed to busy herself, wanting to suddenly be anywhere but here. She’d never heard Becks talk like this before and while she knew it was all in good fun, she started to feel like they were well and truly on different paths now. Jacob suddenly entered the room, his large frame taking up so much space even in the expanse of the large owner’s suite. 

“Everything okay up here?” Jacob asked, as he strode over to Becks with a warm, satisfied expression on his face. He leaned down to kiss her and then kiss the top of Ephriam’s head gently. 

“Fine, Maya’s just a little shocked by my hot mom gossip,” Becks giggled and Jacob immediately lit up at the sound. 

“You are a hot mom,” he joked and Becks rolled her eyes, even though her face brightened with pleasure at the compliment. 

“That’s not what I—,” she laughed as Jacob nuzzled into her neck and kissed her bare shoulder. “I told Maya about Kim and my suspicions about Sadie.” Jacob pulled back and let out a laugh. 

“Oh that,” Jacob replied, looking over his shoulder at Maya for the first time. “Yeah, you better clear out of here soon or else you’ll catch it too.” Maya groaned and shook her head. 

“You guys are gross,” she turned on her heel and walked toward the door. Jacob and Becks were laughing together as Maya retreated but before she went to shut the door behind her, she watched as Jacob stroked Becks’ cheek and said something low under his breath. Maya couldn’t hear him but whatever he’d said had made Becks simply melt as she leaned into his hand and glanced down at their son. Maya closed the door just as their lips softly met one anothers in the low afternoon light of the room. 

Maya leaned back on her hands and threw her head back in an audible gasp. She could feel the coil tightening in her belly, one that promised to melt and offer her delicious release as Paul lapped at her. 

She had wandered into his workshop that morning in her bikini and some shorts to tell him she was heading down to the beach to read and relax for a couple of hours. But she had been…delayed when Paul had beckoned her closer and snatched her up onto his work bench. The triangles of her bikini top had been pushed to the side to expose her breasts and Paul had ripped her shorts off and pushed aside the bottoms of her bikini so he could access her heat. Maya moaned as Paul sunk one finger, quickly followed by another into her core as he sucked at the bead of her clit. The constant ache that called out for him started to pulse and grow in her belly and Maya’s breath came quick and fast. He twisted his fingers and hooked up, hitting a particularly sensitive spot that he knew so well within her. 

Maya’s hand dropped to his head as she took a fistful of his hair and held him impossibly closer. He was slurping and pulling at her lips, pressing his tongue flat and groaning hard as she soaked his face. Paul squeezed her thigh with his other hand and Maya felt herself spiral toward release, her legs shaking around his head and over his shoulders. He drank every bit of it down and slowly removed his fingers as he stood up. Paul palmed at his erection as he watched Maya slowly come back down to Earth toward him. 

He leaned forward and pressed his warm lips to hers letting her taste herself. Maya savored this feeling of relief. The jingling of his belt buckle brought Maya back to her senses as he pulled his jeans down below his hips and began lining himself up with her center. Paul gripped her hips and slid her slightly forward and Maya’s eyes flickered up to Paul’s face which was shaped in hungry concentration. 

“Um,” Maya said. Paul glanced at her, his cock slipping through her folds and spreading her slick across his tip. 

“What? You okay?” he said, suddenly concerned. His other hand was holding onto the back of her neck to steady her in the position he had arranged her in. 

“Yeah, um, maybe we could,” Maya sucked in a sharp breath before looking down at him again hovering over her entrance. “Maybe we could use a condom?” she asked hesitantly. 

“A condom?” he asked, confused. Maya nodded slowly and Paul tilted his head, the confusion still apparent in his furrowed brow, “Why would we wear a condom when—” something dawned on him and his eyes grew wide, “Are you not on birth control anymore?” he asked, his voice thick with heat as a dark glint came over his eyes. 

“”No! I am, I absolutely am,” Maya rushed to say. She felt caught, like Little Red Riding Hood in the wolf’s grasp. He shifted closer, the head of his cock pressing and tentatively stretching her opening, “Ah!” she looked down between them and then back up at Paul hurriedly, “I just want to be…extra careful because…” Maya blushed, the warmth spreading across her face. Paul’s thumb stroked across the length of her neck as he watched her curiously. 

“Because?” he prompted after she didn’t continue. Maya closed her eyes tight in embarrassment and then opened them again. 

“Because Kim is pregnant and Sadie might be too and I just don’t want to take any chances,” she said in a rush. Maya opened her eyes when the silence stretched between them and looked up into Paul’s face. He’d made no effort to move away from her and he was smiling a sweet, indulging grin at her. “What?” she asked incredulously as her face settled into a frown. That had Paul chuckling and Maya huffed in annoyance. 

“No offense, babe, but we’ve been going at it non-stop for a month and you haven’t gotten pregnant. And I’m not going to wear a condom for some superstitious baby fever nonsense when you’re on birth control,” he said it all so warmly, so endearing, so convincing.

“But what if—” Maya’s mouth fell open in a gasp, stopped short as Paul sunk into his hilt connecting his hips with hers. His grip on her hip and neck tightened as he held her to him and brought his lips to hover over hers. 

“Hush,” he said in that low voice that made heat instantly pool in her belly, “I’m not wearing a condom. Not when you feel this good,” he groaned as he slowly pulled out and sunk back in as he began to thrust into her slowly. Maya’s eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of fullness within her. Stretched around him, her head cleared and she felt safe and important. When he picked up his pace, grunting and pressing his lips to hers, she let out a heady moan and brought her arm up to snake around his neck and pull him flush against her. She wanted him closer, closer, so much closer. 

Her heart pounded as he fucked into her wet heat and groaned sweetly in her ear, telling her how good she was doing, how well she was taking him. Maya shut her eyes tight as the blind pleasure washed over her. His hand tightened on her hip as he tugged her toward him faster, not letting up on his rhythm even though Maya was slowly going limp in his arms as her orgasm rinsed her out. 

Paul moaned into her mouth, swallowing the soft sighs and sounds of his name on her lips as he slid quickly in and out of her. He wanted more, so much more that he couldn’t tell her and that promise of heat and pleasure and the unspoken, unknowable future. Paul gritted his teeth before pulling Maya’s bottom lip into his mouth and nipping at it, eliciting another one of her heart stopping moans. He was trying to ground himself, keep himself here because it was becoming too easy to slip into this feral, needy side of himself when he was buried in her like this, all wet and wanting and soft. He often found himself slipping, losing some semblance of control and he knew he couldn’t do that with her, not with Maya. 

“Paul,” she gasped as he angled within her just right. His brain buzzed with a pleasant hum that traveled down and spilled out of his mouth. It reverberated against his chest and filled him with the most bright, light feeling. Not yet. 

He slipped from her and she gave almost a relieved, satisfied noise, her eyes drooping. He chuckled, his mouth pulling up in a satisfied grin, “Not so fast, little red bikini,” he chided pulling her off the table only to swivel her so she faced it before grabbing underneath her right knee and pulling it up to rest on the table. 

“Paul, I—oh—I can’t,” she breathed, bracing one hand on the edge of the table and one looped up behind her and around the back of Paul’s neck. Paul leaned down ever so slightly and gripped either side of her hips before pressing firmly down against her hip bone to cant her ass up. 

“I know,” he said gently, as he pressed his lips to her temple. “But you always say that, and then, you always give me one…” he groaned as he slipped back inside her from behind as she whined leaning her head back on his shoulder, “More,” he huffed as he bottomed out. Paul let his hand coast from her hip to her lower belly and started to thrust, feeling the gentle bulge of himself seated deep within her as she whimpered and shut her eyes tight, bracing herself for another descent into blinding white, star popping, pleasure. Paul felt warm and firm behind her as his hips slapped against the curve of her ass. He held her to him tightly, helping to balance and angle her on the table so he could somehow sink deeper, his hand fanned out across her belly. 

“Paul…I’m—” Maya huffed, rolling her hips back against his that returned a sweet stuttering moan from him. 

“I’ve got you baby,” he promised. Maya’s eyes rolled into the back of her head as she let out a wail, letting it all go—all the stress and pent up frustration and unspoken argument between them melted away and she was so overcome with it. She clenched around him tightly and felt that warm gush between her thighs as he groaned against her ear. 

“Do you want me to come in you?” his husky, rough voice sparked bursts of light behind her eyes and Maya sighed in the aftershocks of her orgasm. “You need to tell me, My.” His voice sounded pained, urgent. She nodded but he continued, “Tell me out loud, baby,” a sharp hiss pulled on that last word as he steadily thrust in and out of her, her walls clutching him hungrily. 

“Yes,” she breathed out, the voice not quite sounding like herself, “I want you to come in me, Paul. Please, please I need—” Maya’s voice was cut short by Paul’s hand snaking around her neck and putting firm warm pressure there. Her whole body lit up with sensation as he started to pound into her roughly from behind, each time hitting that sweet, sore spot in her that threatened to take her over the edge again. He slammed into her with two final thrusts and before emptying every last drop into her and Maya’s brained hummed with that familiar feeling of completion. He kept her tight against him as he caught his breath, keeping her plugged full of him. They were covered in sweat, both of their chests rising and falling in time together and Maya was fighting the urge to pass out from pure bliss.

Paul’s hands floated down to her sides and kissed along her shoulder and neck for a moment reveling in this feeling of keeping her full. “You can go to the beach later, yeah?” he said gently, running his fingertips gently along her ribs making Maya shiver. She nodded sleepily and Paul took it as his cue to carefully pull out of her with a hiss and scoop her up into his arms. He was pretty sure she was already asleep by the time he gently put her down on the cool leather couch and covered her bikini-clad body with a light throw blanket. 

“What?!” Sadie’s mouth fell open in shocked amusement as she let out a little laugh. Maya’s hand stalled over the fresh picked spinach at the Forks Farmers Market. 

“So..you’re not then?” Maya asked as she grabbed a few bundles and put them in her cloth tote. 

“No, I’m not pregnant. But I think it’s hilarious that Becks thought so,” Sadie was sorting through bushels of radishes and shot Maya her sweet smile. 

“Forgive her. She’s got baby brain and the fact that Kim is too—” Maya clamped her mouth shut suddenly and whispered a “shit” under her breath but Sadie was shocked once again. 

“Kim!? Kim Cameron is pregnant?!” Sadie shrieked. Maya’s eyes darted around the small crowd milling about the farmer’s market. Not many people from the reservation were here but she motioned to Sadie to keep her voice down regardless. 

“She’s announcing it tonight. Fuck, I wasn’t supposed to say anything. Don’t say anything, please!” Maya pleaded, laughter still bubbling in her throat from her misstep. Sadie shook her head reassuringly. 

“I promise. But goodness, I almost can’t believe it,” she said incredulously. 

“Tell me about it,” Maya breathed out in disbelief herself as she gathered some baskets of cherry tomatoes. 

“Kim was so outspoken against settling down to have kids until she got her head nurse position. I thought they were still at least three, maybe four years out the way she was talking about it,” Sadie continued. Maya pondered that for a moment. She remembered what felt like a lifetime ago when she was sitting in that exam room with Kim talking about birth control and how she was so adamantly on her side about not having kids until she was ready despite the council’s eagerness. 

“Maybe it’s just the right time for them?” Maya offered, not wholly convinced herself. 

“Must be, I’m sure Jared is completely thrilled. He’s wanted them for a while now,” Sadie picked through some fresh morel mushrooms. 

“Really?” Maya asked. She arched an eyebrow in curiosity at her. Sadie gave her a look, one that spelled out to Maya how little she truly knew of pack dynamics. But Sadie was kind, always soft in her delivery. 

“Yeah, he’s mentioned it a couple of times at dinner or just in passing. He and Paul are always huddled in the kitchen together talking with Sam, I feel like,” Sadie quipped, “Oh! Strawberries!” Maya watched her cross to the fruit stand and stayed stock still. Paul was talking to Jared about having kids? Or counseling him on having kids? Or…Maya paused. She didn’t know what he talked to Jared about. Or any of the pack for that matter. Because she wasn’t here. “I can make my famous strawberry shortcake tonight! What do you think?” Sadie positively buzzed with excitement. Maya swallowed hard and tried to set her face into a smile as she nodded.

That knot started to form in her belly again, tightening at the realization unfolding yet again that she was planning to leave in a few short weeks. And her and Paul had yet to have that discussion. Their communication stalled, always overshadowed by their physical need to connect instead and further put off the inevitable. She felt like she was on the edge of something, something that could ruin everything if she wasn’t careful. 

Maya shrugged on her dark blue leather jacket and quickly swung half of her hair up into a silk scrunchy. She quickly patted on some lip stain and jogged over to the bed where are laptop lay open the final packaged file of her last internship application. Maya scanned frantically over the list of requirements and checked each off in her head. 

“My! Let’s go! We’re already late, baby!” Paul shouted from downstairs. Maya made one more pass over the attachments to ensure she had everything there and then clicked submit. 

“Coming!” she shouted back. Maya quickly shut the laptop and bounded down the stairs where Paul was waiting, hands in his pockets. 

“Ready?” he said softly. 

“Last pack dinner, you know it,” Maya quipped as she reached around him to grab her bag. 

“Right,” he said in a strange voice. But before Maya could question him, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his chest before planting a kiss on top of her head. Maya let her hands rest on the sides of his abdomen and breathed him in for just a second. The fissure she felt growing between them this summer had semi-sealed itself with this tiny flicker of hope. Hope that he was finally coming to terms with the fact that she was going back to the east coast in just one short week. Back to school and away from the abnormal life she’d been living up to this moment. “Come on,” he said quietly as rubbed up and down her arms gently and steered her toward the door. Maya smiled up at him and wrapped her arm around his waist, allowing herself to be ferried toward the car. 

The car ride to Sam and Emily’s was quiet, but Maya was content as the soft rain splattered across the windshield and she held Paul’s hand. There was a deep calm that seemed to settle over her as if everything that had remained unspoken between the two of them, in this moment, simply evaporated. Maya felt almost whole. 

Paul must have felt the same because he kept bringing the back of her hand up to his lips as he drove as he wove gently down the rain slicked streets. Once they arrived at Sam and Emily’s, the early evening rain gave way to a soft evening light that made the forest surrounding the small bungalow erupt with the soothing sounds of frogs and crickets, and the shuffling of wildlife between the ferns. 

They were greeted as they usually were on pack dinner nights—to hoots and hollers and hellos. Becks stood in the small dining room, cradling Ephriam with Jacob’s arm around her, chatting with Kim and Jared. Maya smiled and waved at them and let herself be enveloped into the warm chattering home. 

Time always passed differently at pack dinners and even with the home now packed with so many wolves and imprints alike, it seemed like the house would always stretch to accommodate more as the kids ran underfoot. Dinner was a feast of sweetbreads and rice and chicken, and after Sam’s obligatory toast to everyone, it was oddly void of any mention of anyone returning to school, despite him congratulating Jacob for getting the garage up and running amongst the chaos of this summer. Maya gave it little thought though tucked into Paul’s side, laughing at something Jeremy said as he talked animatedly about his most recent mishap with one of the reservation girls. 

After awhile, Paul drifted off to his usual corner with Sam, Jared, and now Jacob. They’re heads were bowed as they spoke to one another but there were smiles flitting across each face that kept the conversation light. A sharp whistle rang out across the volley of voices and Sam stepped out from his corner to bellow: 

“There’s one more announcement to be made before the night ends,” he nudged Jared forward. Maya’s eyes shot to Kim, who’s eyes were welling with tears as she smiled heartily. It made something cinch tightly in Maya. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jared said holding up his hands almost in surrender. From behind him, Paul and Jacob chuckled as they clutched the necks of their beer bottles, “Kim and I have some exciting news…..babe?” he looked to her and she nodded, “We’re having a baby!” he said, pure joy etched across his face. The house erupted into shouts of excitement and the wolves descended upon Jared, clapping him on the back. Maya stayed put, her eyes watching the scene unfold as everyone gathered around the two expectant parents to be. There was so much love here, and so much time for it all to happen. Whenever Maya was away, she never worried about missing out on anything because she didn’t know what she would miss until she was told about it. But now, seeing this love and excitement pour from her family, she knew she’d truly miss out on something big. And yet, there was still that other part of her that tugged on her to leave, to return to her life in New York and follow every possible dream she had hoped for herself. She loved every person in this room and would gladly put herself in danger in their stead, but still Maya knew she wanted more. That guilt panged in her and made her ache in a new way. Torn between two spectacular worlds and how lucky she was to have both. 

Maya finally pushed herself up out of her chair and walked over to embrace Kim in a hug who had continued weeping with delight into her shoulder. She couldn’t help but feel that tremor of happiness within her as well at the sheer amount of emotion sweeping through the room. 

Jake and Becks had been a surprise. But Kim and Jared were a long time coming to this moment. And you would have had to have been made of stone to not feel a flicker of excitement for both of them who were very openly crying in sheer joy at their own announcement. 

Maya stood there for awhile, just admiring how bright and shiny Kim looked in that moment, her eyes flooded with tears as she spoke of the sheer excitement and desire she had for this baby. She was happy. And Maya was unequivocally happy for her. 

After the excitement died down and some of the pack members left or folded themselves into the comfortable couches and armchairs and floor pillows scattered about, Maya joined Jeremy, Emily, and Sam in the kitchen where they were cleaning up and putting food away. Paul was fixing a loose handle on the kitchen sink as Maya grabbed a dish towel and started drying dishes. 

“One of the most successful pack dinners yet, I think,” Emily shone pure joy as she fitted the lid to a container of rice. Sam smiled at her warmly and nodded. “Oh Maya, that reminds me! Would you be able to host the next pack dinner? I think we’re thinking September 30, right before the Fall bonfire?” Sam’s head shot up and his eyes widened. Paul’s hand went still for a second before he resumed tightening the handle. 

Maya let out a laugh, glancing at Emily, “I mean if Paul wants to host, that’s fine by me. I won’t be here.” There was silence in the kitchen and the only sound that could be heard was Sam’s scrubbing and the faint voices filtering in from the living room. Jeremy looked from Sam to Emily in confusion. 

“You’re not?” Emily said, clearly confused as if this was news to her. 

“No…” Maya stopped and looked at her, and then glanced at Paul. “I’ll be at school.” 

“Oh! Right!” Emily said and Maya breathed an audible sigh of relief. “But you’ll only be a couple hours away. Did you plan to live on campus this year at UW?” 

Something hard and cold sank to the bottom of Maya’s stomach. Emily was very obviously oblivious. 

“Em,” Maya said gently, “I’m going back to Columbia. To New York. In a week.” That was good, stay calm. 

Emily furrowed her brow, “But Paul said—” And that cold thing snapped and shattered within Maya in one second. 

“Paul said what?!” Maya said a little too loud. Paul had stopped and set the wrench down, turning to lean against the counter with his arms crossed. 

“I’m sorry…I-I didn’t realize. He said you were registered for UW in the fall and just th-thought—” Emily stuttered. Sam crossed the room. 

“It’s okay, hun,” Sam said as he rubbed her arm and shot Paul a disgruntled look as if to say Handle this. 

“Paul?” Maya prompted, all fire. She should be more calm, she knew, but everything unspoken had all of the sudden reached a boiling point and there was no controlling it now. There was no physical cop-out this time. 

“Maya, maybe we should talk about this outside,” Paul said softly, his eyes apologetic toward Emily and Sam. Maya’s whole face must have been red. Jeremy stood frozen, soap dripping from his hands as they darted from Maya to Paul. 

“Sure, outside,” Maya said and turned on heel and stomped toward the door. No one really paid them any attention but as she passed Emily, she squeaked out another apology that Maya couldn’t bring herself to acknowledge. 

She stomped down the porch stairs and took long strides toward the forest treeline trying to calm her breathing. Maya could hear Paul’s footsteps not too far behind her. They got just inside the treeline before Maya whirled around on him, her eyes blazing and furious.

Paul’s face was set into a distinct look of disappointment and subtle anger as his mouth turned down into a deep frown, his hands still stuffed into his pockets. 

“What the fuck was that?!” Maya said roughly, her voice already losing to emotion. Paul looked around the forest, almost as if looking for a different answer before she said firmly, fiercely: “Paul.” 

His eyes snapped to her now, matching her fury, “Why are you so surprised?” 

A sour taste coated Maya’s tongue as she clenched her teeth, “What the fuck…was that? What is Emily talking about?” Maya gestured toward the house glittering through the dark lines of trees. 

“We’ve already talked about this,” Paul said almost inaudibly. 

“Bullshit!” Maya yelled. “I think I would know if I was going to school at UW this fall. I wouldn’t have shipped half my shit to New York. Or filled out my internship applications, or registered for classes, or set up my spot to volunteer at the fucking Engineering seminar in November for one. So, I’ll ask you again, what the fuck was Emily talking about?” Maya’s fists were clenched as her whole body shook. 

Paul leveled her with his even stare, as immovable as the stone cliffs that jutted against First Beach. Maya was set to burst into a million pieces. 

“You’re staying on the rez this fall, My, that’s what we talked about,” he said everything so matter of factly it was maddening. 

“Talked? Talked to who? Not to me. Because if i remember correctly, we haven’t been talking at all. Just fucking. Or do you not remember that?” Maya sniped. This couldn’t be happening. 

“I had Michael enroll you at UW—” 

“Without my fucking consent, Paul. What game is this? You know I’m going back to Columbia, you know I’ve been working on these internship applications. You know this and yet you did all this shit anyway without talking to me!” Maya was positively screaming. There was no way no one heard them from Emily’s. 

“I didn’t want to upset you.” Paul said, his face marred by sadness, but that stone facade stayed pushing Maya further to the breaking point. 

“Fuck you!” She screamed. “This is the fucking worst shit you’ve ever done to me. I’m not fucking staying, I’m going back to school where I belong and you’re going to have to just deal with that,” Maya had taken two steps toward him and noticed now that his chest was rising and falling rapidly. His eyes became hard slits of anger. 

“I’m not going to lose you,” he said between gritted teeth. 

“Then. Let. Me. Go.” Maya said, taking another step toward him and pushing against his chest with each beat. Paul stared into her eyes fiercely, not letting any tension fold and Maya stared right back. 

“Don’t push me on this,” he said again. Maya shook her head. “Please, Maya,” but there was nothing left. “Get back!” he suddenly shouted. This jolted Maya and she stumbled back a few steps before solidifying her resolve. Paul was shaking all over. 

After what felt like an eternity of Paul’s ragged uncontrolled breathing and Maya mashing her jaw together so hard she thought her teeth would crack, he said between tight breathes as a dying plea: “I need you stay.” 

Maya’s eyes welled with angry tears and she knew this was it. The final straw. “I can’t…” and then: “I won’t.” She shook her head. 

A resounding crack rang out against the trees closest to her as Paul exploded. In one moment he was there, wolf form bent and curled in on itself in sheer agony and the next he was gone, pounding into the forest. Maya took stuttering breaths, clenching and unclenching her fists to try and release the anger radiating from her, but to no avail. 

In one swift moment, she felt that somewhat healed fissure hiss and crack open within her and knew things were well and truly broken. He wouldn’t let her leave if he could help it and even in the wide open forest, Maya felt like things were closing in around her. 

Her eyes widened, shooting to the shouts and voices filtering from the house beyond the trees—searching, looking for her and Paul. Maya had no idea what they would do to keep her here. What if Paul already asked them to keep her here? Maya’s mind ran wild with anxiety and she sprinted toward her Jeep before the voices could discover her. 

She shoved the keys into the engine and watched wide eyed as the headlights washed over the panic-stricken faces of her found family on Emily and Sam’s front porch. She must have looked wild and terrified as she peeled out of the driveway and away, but she didn’t care. That tightening in her chest told her that the walls were still closing in and she had to get out. Out of La Push, out of Washington. 

She navigated her Jeep through the thick and dark forest, past the treaty line and down side roads she’d only traveled once before. When she pulled into the driveway of the shimmering glass home, two ghostly porcelain figures waited for her on the steps. 

Maya ran a hand through her hair and tried to calm her frenzied nerves, but she knew that after this moment, there might be no turning back. She killed the ignition and crunched onto the gravel driveway, coming around the car to stare up at the two figures waiting halfway up the stairs to the Cullens’ house. 

It was so quiet, as if all of the animals in the surrounding forest had cleared out. Not even the comforting hum of tree frogs or crickets could be heard. It was unnerving to say the least, but Maya was in no state to worry about that implications of that right now. She stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at the stone, even faces of the two vampires and said just loud enough for herself to hear:

“I need your help.”  

Next > >

[some-assholes-familiar]

I’m pretty sure it’s already been said but god I just love how no one in Goncharov (1973) is innocent. There’s no good guys here, no one who doesn’t carry some form of regret for violence in their past.

Goncharov himself is probably the most explicit example of this, sparking a good amount of conflict in the film from almost the beginning by trying to outrun violence without confronting his sins and his own mortality, but as much as Katya models herself as innocent (dressing in white acting clueless when Aundre asks her about her husband, etc) she’s still got that violence in her past and seems (at least to me) less angry at goncharov for his involvement with the mafia than she is at his attempts to pretend all of that never happened (whilst still engaging in it! Like c’mon man just hang up the phone) and that’s not even mentioning her final decision to kill him at the clock tower, quite literally staining her with blood ( although if I’m being honest it reads more to me as her being honest with the blood on her hands, to Sofia and herself, a woman taking hold of her own story which is just phenomenal for a film made in the 70’s honestly). Then of course you have Sofia, herself having a violent past hinted at through her interactions with Katya and ice pick joe, loving Katya unflinchingly in spite of the blood on her hands (and saying she looks better in red guh I love that line) and knowing probably full well, without Katya even having to say it, that it’s Goncharov. Then there’s Andre who was right there alongside Goncharov working for the mafia and despite having an objectively better grasp on accepting his own mortality and the role he plays in perpetuating this cycle of violence (though honestly our boy gonch does not make that hard) still finds it so hard to accept it when he himself is directly responsible in goncharov’s death despite knowing full well his blood is on his hands going into this and being fully prepared to take his life seemingly from the get go).

There’s a lot of classic tragedies out there, but I’ve never seen anyone tackle themes like the cycle of violence and momento mori as well goncharov 1973, a story that is only as effective as it is because as much as you know no one is close to innocent from the get go, you still feel for them and hurt for their shared humanity and complexities that inevitably fall short as a result of their own actions.

Tragedy is only really effective as a result of an audience’s ability to see themselves in the characters, but I love just how much Martin Scorsese and Matteo JWHJ 0715 placed importance on the idea that no one here can be innocent, they’ve lost that right to call themselves unambiguously ‘good’ a long time ago. They are all flawed and they are all objectively not great people for a variety of reasons, but you still feel for them regardless. They’re all tragic figures not necessarily because they’re all victims of circumstance but largely as a direct result of the choices they made and the chances they didn’t take that eventually led to the tragic ending we all know and love. They’re the ones that set the clock on their own lives, and it’s spectacular that the filmmakers managed to make us understand that whilst communicating so effectively their own feelings of helplessness.

So yeah, homoerotic mafia movie and all that. Thanks for reading through this rant on a movie I’d honestly not thought to watch myself until very recently.

[gamesception]

Let’s read utena chapter 7

Tumblr’s new post editor just ate this entire reaction post I’m so mad it’s all gone.  I’ve turned back on ‘legacy editor’, but honestly every single pop-up overlay editor has been a nightmare and I wish they would go back to having a separate page for post creation, it’s the only way this site has ever been stable.

I’m soooo maddddd

anyway, last time we left off in the middle of the first Sionji duel.  I said something here, but it’s gone now so whatever, not much change from the anime so far anyway.

Except Touga’s physically here for some reason, and looks surprised, like he doesn’t know what’s going on, instead of watching smugly from afar larping like he’s in any amount of control here.

So anyway, the duel ends more or less like in the anime, only instead of the magic sword disappearing there’s this ridiculous sequence where it’s knocked flies out of Sionji’s hand and...

And into utena’s hand and visibly fills her with the power of Dios and everybody including Anthy is completely shocked so this is not normally what happens when a challenger wins a duel so... ok?

It’s still happening.  Like, I’m sorry to just be reposting full pages with minimal commentary, but what even?

Like, why even bother with the rest of the duels?  I get that Utena needs to build a relationship with Anthy and overcome challenges to that relationship in order for her to break the whole dueling ritual and save Anthy at the end, but like, from Akio’s perspective he’s just trying to find a duelist who can channel Dios’s power, and, uh, feels kind of like job done on this one, like he could skip to the end at this point without bothering with the rest of this year’s duelist crop?

It’s still happening, by the way.  Highlander victories were more subdued than this.

I’m with Sionji here.  What was that?

Since the sword doesn’t just disappear, we do get this cute moment of Utena sheepishly giving it back to Anthy, so that’s nice.

We also get this introduction between Utena and Touga where he comes off as... maybe not sincere exactly, but more playful & charming and less condescending & manipulative than in the show.

In the anime, we don’t see Utena leave the arena, but the episode closes on Anthy meeting up with Utena that same night.

In the manga, though, Utena, confused, embarrassed, or maybe just weirded out, kind of rushes out of the arena without anthy, conveyed by a neat handful of panels of the path to the arena in reverse:

One past the gate, Utena does pause just a moment to think about Anthy -

But unlike in the anime, Anthy doesn’t catch up to her that night.

So I guess we’re proceeding into episode 2, but where anime Utena was back to her normal unflappable self by the next day, manga Utena is still visibly shaken up.

As in episode 2, Anthy shows up in class like nothing happened, but we don’t get the cute scene of Utena going out of her way to show concern for Wakaba & trying to cheer her up, or of Wakaba and her book.  The Revolutionary Girl Utena anime already needed just way more Wakaba, if the manga keeps cutting her moments I’ll be sad about it.

Manga Wakaba does show up.  She’s somehow heard about Utena’s dorm change before Utena has, and is much more broken up about it in the manga than in the anime.  Honestly, I liked their conversation in the anime while walking over to the new dorm way better.  Wakaba was sad Utena was moving, but not wailing over it like this since it’s really not that big a deal, Wakaba hangs on her arm, they hold hands and swing their arms, Wakaba talks about how it’s supposedly been closed for ten years and teases Utena about having to clean up a derilict building, Utena gives her a piggy back ride, all in all it’s a very cute scene that also gets the necessary exposition in, and the whole time Wakaba comes across as a fun and funny, perpetually cheerful friend, before leaving Utena on the way because, well, she does live in a different dorm, and needs to get back to her own room.

Where as manga Wakaba...

Does not come off as well at all.  Chijo Saito is really dropping the ball here.

But again, I have to remind myself, she didn’t have the full anime to adapt, it’s not her fault.

As in the anime, Utena worries about the room being a mess, only to find it spotless thanks to Anthy’s cleaning, though...

That cleaning is a bit more strenuous in the manga.

And the chapter closes on Anthy introducing herself as the Rose Bride.

We’re still more or less on track with the anime plot, apart from some weird digressions at the end of the first duel.  I expect the manga to jump the rails sooner rather than later, but I’m not sure when or how.

[the-fandom-abyss]

Hiiii!!! I really love your fandom match up idea could I get a match up from mcu/tvd! Thanks if you do it!

Gender: Female she/her

Sexuality: straight

Appearance: I’ve got short black hair which I get trimmed every three to four months because I cannot handle below jaw length, I mostly wear flannel shirts as a style statement (my friend describes my style as someone’s 40 year old dad who does a 9-5), I get dimples on my face when I smile

Facts: I’m a stem major (struggling with it) (literally dying), I want to grow up to be a professor or teacher one day, feminism is my Roman Empire

Strengths: Im a people pleaser who accepts being one, im EXTREMELY funny, I love hanging out with myself, my taste in movie is immaculate, chemistry

Weaknesses: im a bit dull and stupid in general, can’t make friends really easily, adhd haver, can’t do calculus so well, take extreme amount of stress (my doc said I’m missing my period bc of my stress level I need to calm tf down), scaredy cat

I ship you with Stefan Salvatore!

Stefan will support you in your dreams of becoming a teach or professor. He thoroughly enjoys the never ending questions he receives and how attentive you are when he gives his answers. What better way to learn about history or old school teachings than someone that has been there.

(Now I don’t know much about ADHD, but here is my take, ignore if wrong). Stefan has all the patience in the world, he honestly has all the time in the world. He will apply this to your stream of consciousness that seems to flow from one idea to the next. He is a great listener and enjoys the journey between where you started and where you end up. He is more than happy to keep you on track if that is what you need, otherwise you are a free woman. It’s your world and he is just living in it

You know who also has a hard time making friends? Stefan. He is a renowned hermit who enjoys his own company. This will work perfectly for you as both your needs align. There is no guilt when asking for alone time or space because he feels the same as you and completely understand why you need to refresh.

I ship you with Tony Stark!

You mentioned that one of your strengths is chemistry, which Tony likes to add his spin to. Now he would never discredit your intellect but he will make pick up lines and jokes. He may have mentioned that you and him have great chemistry and has even hypothesised what could have if the two of you interact with each other

(Now I don’t know much about ADHD, but here is my take, ignore if wrong). You two are a force to be reckoned with. The Avengers believe that you have a secret language that only you or Tony can understand. Where he stops, you begin and vice versa. I feel this is what makes you a great team, always bouncing ideas, the energy levels, the understanding of one another.

You say that your movie choices are impeccable, well Tony will be the judge of that. With his love of film, he will happily take onboard your suggestions, even create a movie marathon date just for it. You want to have this in-depth conversations about them? Tony is your man. He will spend all night locked in a thoughtful debate with you on all things film.

1k Follower Celebration

[late-nite-scholar]

Aug 10th (Day 6): Prompt Used- In Bloom / Blood 

Day 6: Blood- Thaeril doesn’t make traditional food for non-Bosmer after being stung one too many times by the reaction to it and what it’s made from. But Ralof asks if she will, and she agrees to make something for him to try. Pre/Early relationship. Trying to think of interesting cuisine for Green Pact adherent Bosmer and different ideas for food.      

(Note: the recipe used here is based on Sorpotel (Goan Pork Offal Stew), the Indian version of a Portuguese recipe, which uses blood and various offal in the way I thought would be interesting and make sense here. I’ve obviously tweaked things a bit, but kept the basic ingredients and methods of the dish. I have no idea if this version would actually work, but we’re assuming it will.)

Prompts by @tes-summer-fest

Bosmer OC x Ralof

Warnings- Blood (but we're butchering/cooking, not fighting)

Wordcount- around 2.1K

(all of my characters have first-rate RBFs. Description in alt text)

***

Ralof sat up gingerly, watching as Thaeril came in with a large, wild goat slung across her shoulders. She was grinning, her angular face lit up like a child in a sweets store.

“Look at this! We will eat like royalty tonight!” She cried. “It led me on a good chase, too. It was a good hunt.”

“Well you won’t see me complain.”

“I’ll roast it up.” She laughed, a little sadly. “I won’t do anything too… weird with it, don’t worry.”

Something twinged in Ralof’s chest. There was hurt behind her words, he was certain of it. “I’ve honestly never eaten anything made the proper Bosmer way. Would you… would you want to cook some of it the way your people would? I’d be interested to try it.”

“Really? Ohhh… I’d want to do something different than stew, then. I think I have some bone flour I could make flatbreads and then I should have enough spices to make a curry and… and that should be good?”

“That doesn’t sound ‘weird’ at all.”

“Would it make a difference if I said that the base for the sauce is blood?”

“Not at all. I’m looking forward to it.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m sure a lot of people would be strange about it, but your culture is so important to you. The least I can do is try it, right?”

Thaeril’s smile alone was worth it, but Ralof had to admit he was intrigued by the idea. There had been plenty of time to talk when he’d been more badly injured and Thaeril had stayed by his side almost constantly. She’d explained the Green Pact to him and what it meant for her people. But she’d never really made much Bosmer food, preferring to try and make things she thought he’d find more palatable. But the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to see the real thing for himself, try it for himself.

So he watched her hang the beast from its back feet and drain its blood into a large jar. Putting that to the side, she began skinning and dressing the carcass with breathtaking efficiency. In the short time they’d known each other, Ralof had very quickly noticed just how completely and staggeringly competent Thaeril was in seemingly everything she did. He didn’t just think that because she’d saved his life; it was obvious in even the smallest tasks. 

Now she was digging through her bag, pulling out a pouch and sorting through small jars of spices. Some went back into the pouch and others she put to the side. Once she had all the ones she wanted, she began adding various amounts of each one to a bowl. All of this was splashed with a little vinegar from yet another bottle and mixed into a paste. 

“That smells quite intriguing!” He pulled himself a little closer, moving carefully to not jog his wounds. 

“I didn’t go too wild. I don’t want to make your first Bosmer meal so spicy you can’t eat it.”

“I’ll be fine. It’ll be good for me.”

“Well, this is going to ferment and do its thing while I get some meat and bits cut up.” She set it to the side and stood, taking out her knife again. She moved with unhurried grace, knowing precisely what she needed. First, a  good, solid chunk of meat from the shoulder went into the pot. After that, she inspected and threw in a little fat. He could see why, the meat itself was quite lean without it. After that she was into the beast’s belly. Into the pot went the heart, a kidney, a lung, the tongue, and a chunk of the liver. After adding a little more fat, she cut everything up into more manageable pieces. To this, she added enough blood cut with water to cover everything and fill the pot most of the way. It went onto the fire, first right over, and then pulled back once it had boiled. 

“That’s going to simmer for a while.” She sat back, satisfied. “Then I’ll have to do the next steps. For now, I’ll start taking apart the rest of this and start some preserving.”

She took the haunches and set them up over the fire to roast. Other parts she began to slice up for smoking and drying. Ralof watched for a few minutes before asking. “Is there something I can do to help?”

Thaeril froze. His question had thrown her for a loop. She hadn’t had anyone ask if they could help her with anything for a long time, and it took her a moment to think and reply. 

“Well, if you can cut up pieces for drying, that would free me up to do some other things. That would probably work best. Um, thank you, for offering.”

“Of course. I might as well be useful while I’m sitting here.”

So they worked together for a while in companionable quiet. Thaeril couldn’t help but smile at the big Nord, carefully and diligently working away. It’d been a long time since she’d shared a task like this, she was far more used to doing everything for herself. 

Eventually, she had to put this out of her mind and concentrate on their meal's next steps. Draining the broth into a bowl, she put the meat and offal back over the fire until it sizzled, filling the cave with a mouthwatering smell. It even slowed Ralof’s hands as he looked over. 

“Well that smells wonderful!” He grinned. “I think I’m going to like this recipe of yours.”

Thaeril found herself looking down, paying very close attention to the bottom of the cooking pot. At least that way she could say it was the heat from the fire making her face red and not Ralof’s words. But soon enough it was time to add the spice paste, and soon an even more divine aroma wafted around them. 

She let that cook for a little while before adding the blood broth back in. A little bit of bone flour mixed with water went in as well. Just enough that it would help thicken up the broth a bit. She certainly didn’t want to ruin the dish by having the sauce too thin. Not when she was sharing it with Ralof, and this was his introduction to Bosmer food. It had to be perfect. 

Once the curry was mixed and ready, she pulled it back a little from the heat of the fire and let it simmer again. It would give her time to finish up the preservation of the rest of the carcass, and hopefully it would be done by the time food was ready. 

Taking her drying rack outside, she made another small fire beneath it. Ralof had done a fine job of getting things ready on his end, and she had a lot of meat prepared to smoke. As she arranged the strips of meat to her liking, she couldn’t help but smile. She’d acted out of instinct when she’d saved Ralof. A lone man, outnumbered, the rest of his squad dead, and fighting impossible odds. But fighting magnificently. She’d jumped in, not willing to watch this warrior die so ignobly to a treacherous blade. That was before she’d known how sweet and kind he was in addition to his prowess. 

“Thank Y’ffre I was there at that moment,” she said softly to herself. 

*** 

By the time she needed to make the flatbread, she and Ralof had gotten the rest of the goat prepared. The fire beneath the drying rack chugged out smoke at a nice pace, and Thaeril knew it was going to be good jerky. The rest of the organs were drying in the air, each strip strung onto a long line to keep good airflow between them. 

Now she put some of her bone flour into her bowl. To this, she added a couple of eggs, a little salt and honey, and enough water to mix it all. Letting it sit for a moment, she moved a skillet right over the hottest part of the fire and threw a little of the goat fat in. As the pan heated up, she rolled chunks of the bread dough into thin discs. When the fat started to sizzle in the pan, she put in the first disc of dough. They cooked quickly, and it was barely a minute before she flipped it over and then out of the pan completely. She’d made enough dough for six flatbreads, and as soon as one came out, a little more fat and another one went in. In only a few short minutes, they were all finished. 

With that done, she checked the curry one last time. Taking a quick taste, she smiled. It had turned out perfect. So at least if Ralof didn’t like it, she’d have plenty of very delicious food to eat for the next couple of days. But she really hoped that wouldn’t be the case. 

She put the thought out of her mind and looked over. “Everything’s ready. Would you like to try it?”

“I’d love to!” 

A little nervously, Thaeril filled their bowls. They sat together, each now with some curry and a flatbread. Thaeril watched with trepidation as Ralof studied and sniffed his portion curiously. Then, he tore off a piece of the bread and took a bite. With a nod, he dipped it into his bowl like a scoop. Not a small taste either, but big chunks of meat and offal and a good amount of the sauce. For a split second, her heart leapt into her throat. But only for a split second. 

Ralof's eyes went wide as he tried this first taste. Once his mouth was empty again, he laughed. "Shor's bones, that's a fine meal! The meat is so tender… most people don't know how to cook organ meat properly and it's tough but this! Gods, and the spices! And this bread! I wasn't sure how these would even work, but I can't imagine better to go with the meal. Thaeril, this is amazing! Can you make more Bosmer food from now on?" 

Thaeril stared. "Do you mean that?" 

"Of course! This is as fine a meal as anyone could ask for." He frowned a little. "Someone like me doesn't usually say things like that, do they?" 

"Yeah. Usually we don't get past the ingredients. You don't know how many times I've been told how we eat like animals, that our food is fit only for dogs. That we're disgusting cannibals." 

He reached out and gently rubbed her arm. "We men and mer aren't very good at understanding other customs, are we? I'm sorry people have told you that. When you explained everything to me, it made so much sense. And it's important to you. Even if someone doesn't like something, why be cruel?" 

Tears welled in her eyes. "How are you so nice?"

He shrugged. "I’m just me. And plenty of folks don't like my people's customs. They think we're brutish, they don't like our gods. I'd never hurt you like that. And… and this is really good." 

"Thank you." She blinked back tears as she pulled him into a gentle, one-armed hug. "And if you want, I'll cook lots more Bosmer food for you to try until you're all healed up." 

"I hope you'll make some after that, too." Ralof's face went pink the moment the words left his lips. Both had avoided talking about later, when he was healed and they would presumably part ways. He stammered a little. "I mean, I might need an escort back to Windhelm. Even healed, I'm not going to be at my best right away." 

"I've been a bodyguard before, I might be convinced to do so again." She gave him a small smile. 

"I'll keep that in mind. In the meantime, what other recipes have you got? I know we'll have this goat for a few days, but after that we'll have to think of something. Maybe by then I can help hunt?" 

So Thaeril began to explain other things they could try as Ralof listened attentively. He asked many thoughtful and respectful questions, truly curious and wanting to understand. She could feel the flush rise in her face. No one had ever taken such interest in her culture before. Not only that, but Ralof ate two helpings of the curry and bread as they talked. And for the second time that day, Thaeril thanked Y'ffre with all her heart that she'd been in the right place at the right time. 

[hime-memes]

                        * Loey Lane YT Comment Starters *

Because I love scaring the heck out of myself at midnight, and enjoy viewing creepy content in general ... below are some of the more light-hearted comments from various Loey Lane youtube videos !

As always: These have been modified for cohesive and sensical use. Feel free to change anything within these that you see fit to make it work for your muse & the receiver’s muse !

Recommended For:  Any muses/plots/timelines.

Trigger Warnings For: Supernatural / death mentions, swearing, drug use, slight innuendo.

“ I'm sorry but the guy in the abandoned camp just going "uh oh" at a dark figure is the most relatable thing I've seen. “ “ Hope someone does this for me when I’m a ghost ! “ “ I despised it so I wanted you to see it too. “ “ Ghost really said, ‘ excuse you sir, I’m shitting ! ‘ “ “ She's so brave, I could NEVER go outside in the night to check out some creepy sounds. “ “ The amount of people who don't know that foxes and deer scream is astounding. “ “ Dude, the fact that her reactions are immediate ‘ nope ‘ -- makes me chuckle every time. “  “ Safe to say anything that sounds like an old man growling - is probably safe to say is not Casper ... It could be an extremely homophobic ghostie though. “  “ ‘ 27 Paranormal TikToks you should NOT watch at night...’ me, alone in my apartment at 11pm, clicking so fast I knock my water bottle over. “  “ This is 100% a Malevolent Spirit. “ “ She is so calm with all of this ... like, damn, I would have burned the whole house down ! “ “ Just so you know those ‘ man groans ‘ are angry bobcat noises … which is honestly even more concerning. What could be making it angry !? “ “ The ghost was just like ' wtf is this thing you left me ? ', sniffs phone, ' should I touch it ? ' ? “ “ Hey, the Appalachian mountains are actually incredibly fun ! Sure there's old spirits and other ancient energies but there's also interesting plants, animals, and fungi ! Great to explore ! “ “ Christopher, ( the teenage ghost ), was surprisingly woke. Like, for a teenage boy ghost that died in the late 90s - early 2000s ? He’s kind of an icon ... “ “ Oh my god,  if I had a Christopher I'd ask him if he'd wanna smoke a bowl with me ! “  “ ️It’s a part of Lumberjack mythology !!! “  “ Yeah, the Appalachian mountains have something in them. I don't go down past a certain point to the woods at night. I've heard screaming and a whole host of disturbing noises. “ “ That painting of the little girl is terrifying as all hell. I couldn't even look at her face, I have chills. “ “  There's a way for you to make a body decompose faster or slower to fabricate the time of death. “ “ Laughter is actually a pretty common fear/anxiety response. “  “ That ‘ shadow person ‘ looked like a dude in a dark blue hoodie with his back to the window. Also, it was VERY clean for an abandoned house in the middle of the woods ... “  “ Shadow standing in the window like:  ‘ Hi, welcome to Chili’s ! ‘ ... “ “ That shower ? - NOPE ! “ “ I'm so tired of people assuming spooky shite instead of learning about domestic history. “ “ I would never go in that last basement ... unless one of my cats was down there crying for help ! “  “ I didn’t even think of ' come closer ' ... I thought it sounded like a tuba, as if the entity was hanging around while secretly playing the tuba. “ “ Sheer fact she found a ouija board in the room says enough. “ “ Well, to me it sounds like the entity could be saying ‘ testing ! ‘ but, maybe thats just me ? “ “ Ma'am, are you aware that your basement is an entrance into Jurassic Park ? “ “ Not me watching this high asf and acting like you can hear me going, ‘ period, yasss, of courseeee, girl, MY WIG FLEW OFF ! ‘ “ “ The title kills me, just two very serious sounding mysteries, and then: Kanye West. “ “ The homestuck of ARGs ... Right. “  “ Lake City Quiet Pills will prob remain a mystery forever, so I would definitely stop talking about it.  Just saying ... If THEY spent that much to eliminate someone, they WOULD NOT have a problem doing it again. “ “ Congratulations on your bras! You deserve all the things ! “ “ I was spacing out a bit eating dinner, but you said homestuck and I zoned right the fuck in. “ “ I absolutely love how non-chalant the lady in the last TikTok is. She just comes in her living room and sees four dark entities and is like "I'm gonna go to bed." And I respect that. “ “ As someone who works with children and has blown their fair share of bubbles, two things really stand out to me ... “  “ If that was actually people sitting there - ( from what I know ) - living people don't have reflective eyes like animals. “  “ This balloon MOVED OUT OF THE WAY SO THEY COULD PASS. “  “ Rich history of bloodshed is not always conducive to being left alone if you can see things that others don’t.  “ “ The child talking to the vent, the child afraid of the other mother in her closet and that last video would have me setting my house on fire. “ “ Not to be super dismissive of the child ... but,  the child is describing Coraline. “ “ WAIT !!! Let me get my lettuce !!! -- Ok, got it ! We can start ! “  “ It just worries me how quick people jump to supernatural conclusions when it has to do with their children, because there could just be something going wrong with them. “  “ Long story short, I'm a little uncertain on the science, but if that's true, it means that the figures in the camera weren’t human. “  “ I would drop dead on site if I saw that 3 times in a row with them staring back at me. “  “ Pro Tip: 1.The farther the noise, the closer it is, 2. never whistle at night ( it attracts them ), 3. never say their name - ( traditional or local name ). “ “ That ‘ help me, somebody ! ‘ one is the biggest NOPE ever. “ “ I've heard many stories of spirits trying to lure people into the water to drown them. “ “ Demons scare women mostly. " “ ‘ Sir, with love & light ... you kind of look like chris pratt. ‘ ... I DIED ! “  “  If those girls are faking it, their mother should definitely get them in the acting. “  “ The ghost is watching this with us like, ‘ There’s not a chance we’re doing that. I don’t care what you say, I am a grown-ass adult, and so are you ‘ ! “ “ Ghosts do be crab dancing tho ... " “ Picture it: ‘ Terrifying tiktoks you should NEVER watch alone ‘ then, me alone: * presses play * “ “ The thing I don’t get about the kid in the basement is how they managed to get a kid to stand, in the dark, in a terrifying basement ! “  “ Looking back, I'm sure I looked really creepy. “ “ ‘ I think she's just .... vibing ? Ma'am this is a Walgreens ! ‘ ... I lost it. “  “ OMG love that you named your ghost ! We just named ours ' demon ' ( ikr we're so creative ) but he doesn't really do much, just the casual stuff like watching us, throwing things ( which doesn't happen very often ),  peeking into our rooms at night, walking down the hallways, giving me chills,  y'know just casual ghostie stuff ! “  “ That stick bug was a um … naked person walking on all fours. “  “ The only thing that keeps me from falling asleep, ( or, falling back asleep actually ), are my own horrifying nightmares. “  “ Your laugh at the Arby’s™ receipt ... LMFAO. “  “ I just want to know WHAT those little girls saw !!!! Their terror was pure and real. “  “ ‘ This is what my ghost does to me ! ‘ ... as if she owns the ghost. “  " That was really freaky ... I wanna watch it again. " “ You can find haunted dolls in the woods when you actually go to said woods. Take an internet break, and go see what you find. It’s really easy ! “  “ Me with any small child entity ever present in the same area as me: * Does not immediately book it and just sits calmly down waiting to see if they'll calm down because I have way too high of a parental instinct * ... My family: GIRL STOP, STOP IT YOU NEED SOME HELP THAT IS A DAMN DEAD CHILD - !!! “  “ ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE THING THAT CRAWLED TOWRDS THE MAN AS HE WAS RUNNING TOWARDS THE CHILD ????? “ “ Saw a ghost at my nan’s house once, told it to fuck off, and you know what ? HAven’t seen it since. “  “ I was given a doll that a woman was going to bury in her back yard, she never explained why. I've had her a year now. “ “ DUDE, my grandparents have that EXACT statue that the guy found in the woods. It's not originally painted, it’s just bare stone so whoever owned it hand painted it for whatever reason. “  “ The person in the bedroom looks like is using a mask and just breakdancing on the floor, lol ! “  “ Dude, the emergency sound in that video towards the end ? It hit all of my nope buttons ! “  “ Guess demons are trying to bring me to their dimension ... “ “ Hey boy, It’s us, ... your demons ! “  “ I would totally leave that little girl outside ... why she outside in the first place ?! “