#if i purge i will feel significantly better but yk purging isnt good
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im good o-O
#who fucking let me eat againnnnnnn#tw ed#cuz imma fuckign rant#i always feel liek shit for eating anything ever#and today was one of those days where i was like oh im not hungry and i dont wanna eat but my stupid ass did anyways#fucking ate enough to make me feel sick#and i wanna purge so badly#like i am fighting every fucking urge to go puke up all this#WHY. AM. I. LIKE. THIS.#if i purge i will feel significantly better but yk purging isnt good#and if i do im just proving to everybody that i cant fucking get better#but if i dont im showing everybody that i have no self control with eating#yk i say im getting better and to a certain extent i am but im not really ever “better”#like im better than i was at the lowest point of my life...thats like the bare minimum#like congrats i havent written a suicide note in over a year! woo or whatever#like congrats me you didnt fucking cut yourself on purpose for a year and a half wowwwww thats the bare minimum: /#most people in fact NEVER cut themselves on purpose#and lately ive been having “trauma” dreams#like its not really trauma but like dreams where i see people i would rather never see again and people who i would do anything to see again#or dreams about relapsing or failing school yk shit like that#and most of the time i wake up and feels like that shit was real#oh yeah lemme add soem more tws#tw suicide#tw sh
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